#the premise is ridiculous

[adreamthatsworthkeeping]

This is a proper adult. He knows how to wrap a present. There's Hanukkah gifts for starters, but also ever other gift giving opportunity.

[kayawolfhorse]

Memes aside I do keep thinking about how no one jumps for the beef. Your options are uncooked chicken or uncooked beef. The beef is marginally better; it’ll keep you further from starvation for just a little longer than the chicken would.

Only, the risk of reaching for it is greater than the risk of reaching for the chicken, and the fall could cost you your life, for all you know or all that matters.

Your hunger is kept low enough that you can’t sprint, and you’re never really taught how to parkour, are you? You’re kept on this level because you failed the jump when they tested you. You learn as you navigate this one-block-jump world.

(Maybe you don’t try at all. What’s the point?)

(Maybe you try and fail.)

You decide to jump for the beef, and live to tell the tale. Later, you get lucky enough to win the opportunity to try to rank up. You jump for the beef again. The parkour between your level and the next is just harder parkour, and you’ve gotten better at it throughout your time here, haven’t you? If you reach the top, you secure your place among the highest of the highs.

Only, the parkour’s final jump is impossible. No matter how good you’ve become, you can never beat the rigged system. The beef, should you choose to risk the fall, is a possible feat. You thought this would be, too.

You go home blaming yourself for a jump you couldn’t make or you die trying, clinging to the belief of fairness. The beef, for all its fanfare, couldn’t save you.

You don’t jump for the beef again.

[bloomfish]

If something isn't on here I either consider it objectively a decent episode, or completely irredeemable/boring in a way that doesn't count as "so bad it's good" (killed by death, for instance.) It needs to be that specific kind of ridiculous early Buffy campiness that ends up being very entertaining!

[gargoyleandgremlinpress]

I'm declaring it the week of the pamphlet bind, because this is the second of three I've got in my backlogged queue of fanbinds to share.

Sometimes, a vaguely ridiculous idea gets ahold of you and won't let go.

When I discovered that there were not one, but TWO short MDZS modern AU fic with the incredibly specific meet-cute premise of "character A encounters a swarm of bees, and character B is the beekeeper who rescues them," I decided I needed to bind them. Together. And they were both short, so a quick pamphlet bind was the perfect solution.

I think I did this two summers ago, and would probably do a bit better with the text placement on the cover now, but I stand behind all the bee theming in the typeset unreservedly.

There must be something about the Twin Jades of Lan that not one, but TWO authors looked at them and said, you know what? Beekeeper.

So here we have, both with awesome titles, Save the Bees (Ride a Beekeeper) by @ariaste and Covered in Bees by @scarlettohairdye.

Public domain images, cardstock cover, sewn with some orange crochet cotton, because god knows I have enough random thread around. To make up for the disreputable cookie sheet used for an atmospheric industrial space background in my last post, this one is photographed on the orange and yellow stripes of a rainbow plain-weave tablerunner I wove out of the accumulated scrap basket at the weavers' guild.

And lovely authors, if either one of you would like a copy, I would be happy to make you one, or share the digital files with you.

[shakespeare-official-account]

However, I appreciate thy homage in thy boring song..perchance next time thou canst keepeth it canon complaint ^^

[leohtttbriar]

i mean, setting aside the fact that tuvok definitely asked for his consent and he definitely gave it and tuvok didn't just descend on his private mental space like truth coming out the well to shame mankind no questions asked, i think this is still interesting. bc it's clear that who was harmed the most from the mind-meld was tuvok himself--to the point that janeway basically sets up a regulatory barrier at the end of the episode between tuvok's mind and everyone else's. as if this is the natural conclusion for tuvok's empathy-in-praxis, by sharing his mind with a murderer he is becoming the murderer, not just observing him. and the violence of the mind-meld is not just the act of "penetration" (like, okay) but the "joining," in which a non-violent person must share in the first-person violence of another. so the question of whether tuvok's duty requires him to understand why suder did what he did, including exposing his innermost self in a super vulnerable way, is an implied premise of the episode's question of what to do when you've got an unapologetic murderer on your ship in the middle-of-nowhere.

the idea that there is violence inherent in sharing mental space with someone is definitely a thought. the other more famous example of a meld in star trek is spock reading the mind of the horta and the way that scene plays out is that spock is, in a sense, directly experiencing the horta's pain and distress. and then there's the episode where kes looks so deeply into the matter of her plants that she excites the molecules and burns all the plants from the inside out. the idea that consciousness has to be protected from and protected against because it's to do with one's perception and way of being in the world and is therefore powerful and fragile from every direction--it's an interesting understanding of autonomy. and the mind.

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 19: Psychological

I’ve been meaning to do something like this to Legend in particular for a while now, I finally had an excuse with today’s prompt (though all of them were a little weird...). I’ve also been getting Legend a lot I realized... oops.

Warnings: not too much. themes of loss/grief, heavy on the hurt/comfort

Read on ao3

————————————————————

It was the perfect kind of day for lazing around.

Warm and sunny, with a cool breeze that rustled against the palm trees and stopped the sunshine from being too hot. The ocean waves rolling in the background, and the occasional cry of a seagull lending to the sleepy atmosphere.

Legend sighed happily, and rested his head on Marin’s where they were flopped together in the grass.

“You’re being so clingy, Link,” she teased as he nestled in, and he held on a little tighter, making her squeak in surprise.

“I only just got you back, I’m going to enjoy every second,” he said determinedly, and she laughed, the sound musical and warm.

Goddesses he’d missed her.

He’d had a quiet hope during all of the time he’d been traveling through portals with the other heroes that maybe... somehow... he’d find Marin again. They were traveling through time, right? Anything was possible... maybe she was alive and well somewhere.

He hadn’t dared to hope too loud, but then the most recent portal they’d gone through had left them on a beach by the ocean. His only warning had been a shocked gasp before he’d turned around and found himself being hugged by the girl he thought he’d never see again.

Marin.

He sighed in happiness, and he knew Marin was smiling at him, her hair tickling his chin.

“I really missed you,” he admitted quietly, voice still thick from his earlier tears, and Marin hummed, nestling into his arms.

“Me too, Link.”

The shouts of the others as they messed around in the water drifted by on the wind, and Legend closed his eyes, content to stay exactly where he was. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages, not since they’d last been able to rest at the ranch, and he was going to enjoy every second of it.

Something flickered in his mind then, and the noise of the others momentarily grew.

Legend opened his eyes, something cold suddenly trickling through his chest, and he sat up, taking his head off of Marin’s.

“Link?” she asked, and Legend looked at her, studying her features. Brown eyes, red hair, freckles dusted across her nose... just like he remembered.

She sat up as well, and he put a hand on her cheek, feeling her skin under his palm, warm from the sunshine. Legend carefully rubbed a thumb under her eye as he looked at her, her eyebrows raised. She looked exactly like he remembered. Exactly the same, but why...

“Link, what’s wrong?” she asked again, and Legend looked at their surroundings, then back at her, trying to focus on her face again.

He couldn’t quite do it.

The cold feeling grew, settling deep into his chest, and the world faded around the edges, just a bit. Dread began to overtake him, and Legend took Marin’s hands in his, feeling at her skin with shaking fingers.

She felt real. She felt real and looked real and sounded real, and earlier when she’d suddenly kissed him she’d tasted real, but—

But—

“This is a dream,” he choked out, and Marin looked at him, her brown eyes brimming with sadness.

“It is,” she said quietly.

Legend held on to her still, almost desperately, but the world was fading the more he tried to cling to it, the ocean slipping away, Marin’s brown eyes fading the longer he looked at them.

“I’m sorry Link,” she said gently, then disappeared with everything else.

Legend woke up alone.

He opened his eyes, staring dully at the ceiling, and swallowed, closing them again with a shaking sigh. That dream. Again.

His fists clenched as he tried to get his emotions under control and not think about it. Anger and grief and a swirl of all sorts of other awful feelings raced through him without his permission, and he clutched at his blanket, shaking slightly.

He hated that dream. He hated it.

He’d had it multiple times since he’d come on this stupid quest, and every time was worse. Every time he desperately let himself believe that it was real, that they had gone through a portal and he had found Marin, but every single time he woke up.

Legend swallowed thickly, scrubbing his arm over his face, and only feeling more angry when the sleeve got damp. Great. He’d been crying in his sleep.

And the worst thing was, it had been tears of joy.

“Legend?”

He flinched, and wiped his face again before glancing beside him, seeing Wind and Hyrule both awake and looking at him, some of the others stirring.

“Are you okay?” Wind asked in concern, and Legend turned away, his shoulders hitching up.

“Fine,” he choked out, then threw his blanket off and left the room they’d all been sleeping in.

All of them except for Time of course, who was sleeping in his own bed with his red-haired wife who’d probably triggered his stupid dream because he only ever had it when they were here—

Legend forced himself not to stomp down the stairs or slam the door as he went outside, despite how sorely he was tempted. He’d let the others get some sleep at least.

He certainly wasn’t going to get any more.

Legend sat down with an angry huff on the steps of the porch of the farmhouse, his elbows on his knees. Resting his chin on his hands, he glared out at the mostly-darkened fields as his breath shook, lit only by a thin sliver of moon. A cricket was chirping somewhere, and Legend listened to it, struggling to calm down.

He wasn’t going to cry. It had just been a dream. It hadn’t been real, so there was no reason to cry about it.

An owl hooted, and he tensed up, hunching over and burying his head in his hands.

He wasn’t.

The door behind him creaked, and Legend snapped his head up, prepared to send one of the others back upstairs with a sharp word, but the words died in his throat as Malon stepped through the doorway, her red hair almost brown in the shadows.

Great. It was the last person he wanted to see right now.

“Sorry if I woke you,” Legend muttered as Malon crossed the porch over to him, wrapped in a shawl against the chill.

“Oh you didn’t,” she said, looking back at the house. “Wind and Hyrule were whispering right outside my door, and they woke me up.”

Legend huffed out a small laugh, and looked out at the darkened fields again. “Sounds about right.”

“...May I sit?” Malon asked, gesturing to the steps.

Legend shrugged, not looking at her. It wasn’t like he could stop her, they were her steps.

Malon hummed, and settled herself down next to him, Legend relaxing slightly at the distance she left between them. At least she was giving him space.

A bit of her hair caught the moonlight, and Legend swallowed, looking at his feet.

He wasn’t thinking about it. Nope.

“I’m sorry to pry hon, but... I’ve noticed you don’t seem to sleep well when you’re here,” Malon suddenly spoke up, her voice gentle. Legend stiffened. “Is there any way we can make things more comfortable for you? I know it’s stuffy being crammed in that room with seven other boys.”

“No, it’s plenty comfortable,” Legend muttered, not looking at her. “It’s not... it’s not that.”

Malon was silent for a minute, and Legend slightly curled in on himself, wishing he’d taken his blanket with him. It was kind of cold out here, and he hadn’t even put on socks or anything.

A part of him was relieved it wasn’t warm though. It made it easier to keep the memory of his balmy dream away.

“You know, I’ve sat on this porch in the middle of the night many a time,” Malon said softly, looking up at the moon. “When I was a little girl now and then, but mostly right after me and Link were married. He’d try not to wake me, but his adventures left a lot behind. He rarely slept through the night. Still doesn’t, sometimes.”

She breathed in, and let out a deep sigh, looking over at Legend with a sad look in her eyes.

“I hate to think you’ve been through even half as much as him,” she said softly, and Legend hated the sting that started up in his eyes. “And I know a few kind words aren’t going to fix any of that. Especially from me, I know you don’t prefer my company.”

“...What?” Legend startled, and looked at her.

“Well, I assumed you weren’t too fond of me since you always avoid me when you boys end up here,” she said in surprise, and Legend stared at her, then shook his head, just stopping himself from letting out a bitter laugh.

Of course. Of course he’d pushed her away and made her think he hated her.

He was awfully good at that, wasn’t he?

“No, no Malon, you’re not...” he tried to explain, but his voice caught in his throat, a sudden lump making it impossible to speak. He swallowed thickly, and Malon waited patiently for him to finish, remaining silent as he tried to gather himself, not pushing.

Legend swallowed again, and looked over at her.

“You look... like someone I lost,” Legend said thickly, and closed his eyes against the tears gathering in his eyes. “I-I wasn’t trying...”

His voice broke, and he harshly cleared his throat, nearly shaking with the effort not to cry. A hand cautiously settled over his own, and Legend looked down at it, his lip quivering.

He couldn’t cry, he wouldn’t cry, he refused—

“Oh hon, I’m so sorry,” Malon said in a gentle, grieved voice, and Legend couldn’t stop the sob that hiccuped out of him.

Malon immediately scooted closer, and Legend didn’t resist when she gathered him into her arms, shaking as he entirely broke down. It was like a dam had burst, and Legend sobbed into Malon’s arms, equally hating himself for crying and feeling utterly overwhelmed at the emotions that were rushing past his defenses.

He’d only let himself cry for Marin and Koholint once before. But now all the grief and guilt were pouring out, with him unable to stop them one bit, and he choked on another sob, tears pouring down his cheeks.

He hated crying.

Malon held him the whole time while he sobbed, gently rocking him, running a hand through his hair. Her arms were warm and tight, and Legend wondered distantly if his mother would have held him like this if she’d still been alive.

It could have been a couple minutes or an hour later, but Legend’s tears finally slowed, and he sighed, feeling entirely rung out.

Malon ran a hand over his head, and Legend felt heat rise in his cheeks, embarrassment hitting him almost as hard as the sudden surge of emotion had earlier. He’d just spent the last however long it had been crying onto a woman he’d only met a handful of times, and his tear-stained cheeks felt hot.

He quickly raised his head and wiped his eyes, and Malon gave him a gentle smile.

“Better?” she asked, and Legend gave her an awkward nod, sniffling a little. He did feel better, come to think of it.

“Sorry I—” he began to apologize, but Malon stopped him, squeezing his shoulder.

“No trouble at all, hon.”

Legend stared at her, then nodded, ducking his head down. He still felt wrung out and embarrassed, and the ache was still there if he thought too hard about the dream that had woken him, but... he also felt warm.

Like everything would be okay.

...He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like that.

Legend exhaled, and when Malon tucked her shawl over him, he found himself leaning into it.

Neither of them said anything else, and they sat together on the porch for a long time, Malon occasionally running a hand over Legend’s hair, until the sky began to change from navy to pink, stars winking out.

And after that night, whenever Legend found himself at the ranch, he slept the entire night through.

[deus-ex-mona]

real talk: lxl should continue to explore romance fantasy concepts in their songs. it’s clearly working for them~

[bastiodon8]

mom said it was my turn to fuck up the canon and make my own seperate continuity.

anyways this is courtney (sometimes) and it sucks. get it's ass.

[acre-of-wheat]

A trio of Tanthamore fics! All with wildly different vibes!

Spare the Rod

"I've asked Mx. Claymore to come," she says, "to observe your behavior." Kit laughs sharply, nearly spilling her tea. "My behavior?" she gasps. Mx. Claymore cocks her head. "I understand that for a young woman it is most," a pause, "unusual."

No Last Jobs

"Kit, you good?" Jade clicks over. She can see the top of Kit's laptop in her lap, already connected to one of the server towers and though she can't hear her, Jade knows Kit is talking softly to herself, narrating what she's doing to an empty room like a bad TV hacker. Jade will never tell her how much she loves it. "I'm doing fine," Kit says, "I'm doing perfect. I assume Elora is behind?"

1st Grade Problems

The door swings open and if the hallway outside was colorful, the inside of the classroom is a kaleidescope. Squares of rug in different colors, shapes and numbers cut out and stuck to the wall in a rainbow, cubbies painted with flowers and multi colored baskets of art supplies and instruments and blocks and who knows what else. The woman who opens the door is... Not what Jade expected.

[sherlock-is-ace]

watched the first ep of Dead Boy Detectives today, did anyone also think the dialogue was a bit clunky?

I don't mean it was unwatchable or anything i just feel like it didn't feel realistic the way they introduced the characters and world... It felt like the dialogue was for the viewer instead of an in character thing. We were gonna be introduced to a viewer surrogate within the first few minutes, there was no need to have the characters who already know how the show's world works spell it out for nobody... and then explain it again when Crystal showed up? idk it felt like something I would write (not a complient) 😅

[willosword]

a poster of dinosaurus and mark in the style of those dark romance werewolf novel covers. huh who said that

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

You are making me feel so old.

I didn’t even know Wild Kratts was a thing until now. I watched Zoboomafoo when my brothers were little. That’s my Kratt brother era. 😂

But it’s been interesting to see where my childhood favorites ended up! I had no clue.

Hi, Deathy!! :D

YOOOOO I’ve watched a little bit of that show!! Certainly not as much as Wild Kratts though 😅 I’m very pleased that you got to experience some of the Kratt brothers hehe.

Yes yes yes!! Wild Kratts was my favorite show for a large portion of my childhood, and it’s been incredibly fun, incredibly nostalgic, and incredibly weird taking an interest in it once again XD It’s the brothers that are reeling me back in… I see the word “brothers” and black out and when I come to I’m in a new fandom. Happened with Star Wars, happened with Dream SMP, happened with The Wingfeather Saga, and I suppose it’s happening again?? I’m just along for the ride at this point lol. This was a very delightful ask to receive, thank you for sending it :D

[desire-mona]

gifset of every nickel creek music video (3/8)

this side - nickel creek

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Pretty little liars would be such a good show if it wasn't terrible

[tennessoui]

there should be a dating reality tv show where they match you up with a partner based solely on the fact that their favorite chore is the one you hate doing the most. I could ignore so many red flags in a man if he liked cleaning the toilet and the bathroom sink. everything else is just being picky