#the post this was made in responce too was about how long it takes for Dragons to reproduce

[almoststedytimetravel]

This was too good to just leave on twi- [I am shot for not calling it X]

[voskhozhdeniye]

This is what vote blue no matter who gets you. The Democrats have chained themselves to a sinking ship with no life boats. When your entire platform is, well at least it's not the other guy,........

My tags on the pinned post are from a post I wrote then deleted.

Look at how he frames it. Young voters and their disapproval of a genocide, not the Democrats doubling down and refusing to call for a ceasefire is what is going push America over the cliff.

I guess we have reached the stage of late capitalism where we simply acknowledge that this country's dominance is maintained by being as ultra violent as possible. Get in line and accept it, you're either with us or against us.

So back to the impending election, Biden's entire platform is, I'm a better choice than Trump. This is where the vote blue no matter who really fucks you. Trump is the boundary line. As long as Biden doesn't cross those lines, he can always say he's better than Trump. But as we are witnessing, he and company will get as close as they possibly can with out crossing. That way they'll always be the better choice. Not by much, but enough to say they are.

The further the Republicans go right, the further the Democrats can push right along with them, they just can't overtake them.

And that is the situation we are in. Yelling at voters for the failures of their government. Who are you voting for, Genocide Joe or Trump? Third party? Don't throw your vote away!

I said it in 2020, and I will say it again. The ONLY reason liberal whites flock to Joe Biden as their savior is because Trump made them feel like niggers in America. Four years of Trump gave you a taste of what the rest of us have been dealing with, regardless of which party is in control, and y'all said by whatever means we will get Trump out of here. We will vote blue no matter who.

That 2020 post, I wrote it after someone responded to another post of mine. They said they knew Biden had been racist in the past, but we needed to look past that for the health of the country.

I wrote a long essay like this one in responce, but the only thing I truly wanted to write was "got you bitch!"

You were willing to look past Biden's racism, sexism, Harris' transphobia, and a slew of other troubling things to save your ass from Trump. The things they hated about Trump they just glossed over in Biden and Harris, for the good of the country. In the year 2020, they asked us to ignore the racism of a presidential candidate, for the good of the country. LMFAO

I know who follows this blog, so most of you already know what I'm talking about, but I need everyone to take a step back and look.

The lesser of two evils is giving unlimited funding, ammo and no red lines to a state that is committing genocide.

That's the "safe" option to vote for.

You know in Loony Tunes when someone runs off a cliff and keeps running because they don't realize they aren't on solid ground anymore?

This is already too long, but I've been wanting to talk about this and just haven't. Living in Trump country, means I interact with his fans on a daily basis. A lot of my coworkers are either outwardly or quietly supporters. Every time Trump supporters get mentioned on here it's always to highlight how stupid they are. Yes there are some glaring holes in their logic, but there is a method to the madness. They're also all very nice white people who would never consider themselves racist.

Many of them rightly realize this country's government is working against them. They may not know what the term class conscience means, but they have an understanding through life experience. Many vote for Trump because they see him as a wrench in the system. A revolt against the liberalism of Obama, Pelosi and Clinton, and the system that rewards people like them. It makes sense. The problem is that Trump is a fascist, and sells snake oil to desperate people. That's how fascists market themselves to voters. The person with the plan, and a cure for all their problems.

Voters will vote for anyone in order to have a better life. Even a racist, sexist, genocidal maniac. Wait a minute, are we still talking about conservatives and Trump?

[sofiadragon]

And now an argument for why we can't encourage concrit in the comments!

My last post was all about why we should allow and expect concrit in comments and people can opt-out if they don't want any the same way we post up DNI requests, and was mostly a discussion about the change in online culture. Now for why we really shouldn't encourage concrit and have a strong stance against it.

Concrit isn't fun to receive, even if it is supportive and kind and all the best practices of leaving constructive commentary. It can be discouraging when you did something just for the fun of it for someone to point out a flaw, and there is a sliding scale for what is and isn't criticism that, unfortunately, we can never have a consensus on because the internet is big, international, and constantly changing. One person thinks critique is when a typo is pointed out, another thinks critique means talking about the core plot and characterization. The baseline should be don't say anything but simple praise unless deeper commentary is specifically solicited from you, and no the comment box being unmoderated is not a welcome mat.

To use the overused cookie metaphor: Someone gave you a free cookie. This is not an invitation to ask them all about why they put raisins in it or start a deep discussion about how they made it. Just tell them it was nice or drop it in the bin silently.

Now, that metaphor is a little underbaked when there is a box sitting next to the person giving out free cookies where you can leave feedback, but just like in the other post I want to stress that we already know and agree that being rude or a troll is just not constructive criticism in the first place. Concrit is supposed to be supportive and contain something useful.

But the point here is that too many people will take the opportunity of accepting feedback to be a troll or say something rude, demanding, or entitled rather than trying to start a conversation or point out a helpful tip - and a lot of people just don't want feedback even if they leave the box there, because it's just a hobby.

I had a personal experience that was absolutely horrendous. If you want more details, I shall send you to a Doctor Who Fanfic that I posted on AO3 in 2016, but originally wrote on LiveJournal around 2013 and posted to AO3 several years later. Look at those comments. Look at those unsolicited ten page comments. I will provide select quotes here as well, but know that this started on LiveJournal and most of the polite run-up to these monsters was over there.

Please don't harass this person, I took care of it a while ago. They use several names, versions of their LiveJournal handle and their AO3 one - and not always while logged in. It is fairly clear it is the same person with the tone and legnth of comments.

This person started out with a nice comment with a lot of excited energy and some suggestions. I engaged with them, responding politely. The comments were long, but not offensive to me - as in the other post, I did join fandom in the 90's when deep dive comments and constructive critique was normal. I did not at that time state in the notes or anywhere else that I welcomed constructive commentary, that would never have occurredto me as something I should do before about 2021. [I am mixing up terms on purpose, there is no functional difference in these terms in casual speech and most casual readers will never know any difference in the shades of meaning.] This is the opening line of an early responce to the comments crossing the line, note the date this story was last updated in 2019 and has an ending that resolves the main conflict:

Now, you might say that by engaging with them like this I solicited additional commentary. That is absolutely how this entitled reader saw things, but I want to stress that this was a progression and I am chatty in the comments of all my fics. I was gently suggesting that if they have ideas this plentiful they should go write their own story, which I do several times on AO3 and LiveJournal. The comments on LJ started short and kind, and it was only when I left a big time skip and ended the story that things exploded from a long comment once a month or three over there to several in a day every day for a week on AO3 (I ended it abruptly, I admit, because I ran out of motivation for it when I ran out of River Song salt. I can take someone saying the ending was rushed and they wish there was more. That doesn't make... this... acceptable.)

There are other long comments from other people that point to specific passages and make specific commentary about what is in the story and ask what I was thinking or even disagree with a choice I made. It is over the line when it becomes about things that aren't in the story and becomes demanding more than curious:

This is just a fairly random selection from the last comment before I froze all the threads and told them to back off, which is all about things that aren't in the fic that they want in the fic. The story details say it had been marked complete for three years at this point, and they are making demands about additional chapters. In fact, I added a chapter after marking it complete, so it had been marked complete for about six months longer than the stats suggest, and they knew that! You don't get a vote on the next track that gets played, hun, the DJ had a set playlist and party was over last week. This went so far off the rails and it was painful to read. There has to be more than 10k words just in the last round of comments on AO3 - and they were on my inactive LiveJournal leaving additional comments that were just as long at the same time!

I ended the onslaught thusly:

Again, please don't hunt this person down. I am using an example from my own fanfic to show that having a community stance that concrit is always OK is just not practical. People will abuse it with entitled nonsense like this, and while this was arguably solicited by my replies (even though I don't think I ever asked them for more critique and made it clear that the story was, you know, complete) I have gotten unsolicited critical comments on... I want to say every fic I shared publicly going back to 1998, and I only added explicit welcome of concrit to certain stories starting in 2021.

So this will happen anyway, you have to accept that if the comment box is open someone will chuck some trash in there occasionally, but we shouldn't encourage it by having a culture where critique of fan works is considered the norm. There are just too many trolls who will feel enabled to go on entitled screeching rants if we do.

Now, I've got 9 options on the poll (+ just gimme results) but I'll be real: my opinion in 2023 comes down somewhere between the opt-in and opt-out stances.

Hey fanfiction loving friend!

AO3 has the ability to turn off comments, moderate comments, restrict comments to logged in users only, or let anyone comment on your story. Most other fanfiction hosting websites do not allow comments to be turned off and in the case of some (wattpad) highly encourage comments even on individual paragraphs.

Over on reddit, someone said it is an unwritten rule of fanfiction that you should never leave a negative or critical comment on a story. This was countered most strongly by many arguments. Despite many people asserting that their stance was the one truth and that there was no debate on the topic - there was a lot of debate about what criticism even is and where the line should be for if giving concrit is alright.

So give this some thought:

If you have tea to spill, examples or an argument you want to make, please do. I have some that go both ways, but I'm going to wait for a few responses so I don't pre-empt the results. I'm not going to vote myself for a while, either, so I won't know which way the poll is leaning when I do pour my tea. I tried to cover all the flavors of debate I've seen in the many "definitive" posts I have read here and on reddit. Please reblog for a wider sample!

[sningo-prompts]

Sningo evolving would be an interesting thing to see i think

Holy crap im sorry i forgot about this.

Ok so i dont think he would willingly want to evolve. I think he can though. His situation has to be dire though. Sooooo maybe either someone captured him AND Emmet or him and Emmet gets trapped in like a collapsed tunnel. Either way Emmet has to be in trouble. Ill try to so both. Hopefully i remember to do the other by the end of he first.

Emmet captured:

So Emmet was captured along with Ingo since he wouldnt let go of Ingo no matter what. No matter how many attacks they three at the man he wasnt giving in. So they just take em both. Emmet is in some serious medical attention. And Ingo is very much so worried about his little brothers well being. This is all HIS fault after all. Emmet is only hurt from protecting him. Ingo tried to get Emmet to give up and let him go but he refused. So he was forced to watch as his brother took blow after blow protecting him. Now they are in the back of some van being taken somewhere and Emmet is coming down from that adrenaline rush. The pain is setting in slowly and Ingo can see it happening in real time. Emmet needs a doctor and fast. Ingo is far to small to do anything about it either. But that doesnt mean hes powerless. Maybe when they arrive at their destination their captor makes a mistake and Ingo and Emmet escape. Maybe Ingos attacks gave them the opening hey needed. They run off into the wilderness. Its pretty far from the city though. And Emmet is getting worse by the minute.

Till finally he collapses unable to walk any further. Ingo can hear people off in the distance searching for them so they cant stop. Emmet probably tells Ingo to go on without him. But theres no way Ingos doing that. If he could just carry Emmet they could keep moving but hes so small. He tries to help Emmet walk but its so good hes too weak to be of any use. Then when Emmet can finally hear people he starts trying to push Ingo away. To get him to flee but Ingo is a good older brother. He knows what he needs to do. So he evolves then and there. He doesnt care if this means he can never be human again. He just has to save Emmet. Nothing else matters to him. Now in the full form of a sneaseler he can carry Emmet and keep moving. I imagine though it was a hard evolution to bring on since he really didnt want to but had to. So picture this if you will. Sneaseler Ingo carrying Emmet with tears in his eyes because he thinks he just gave up his humanity. Emmet of course gasped and yelled for Ingo to stop to not evolve that He’s not worth it. Emmet yelling that Ingo could be giving up his chance st humanity that theres gotta be another way. Emmet probably blacks out during their escape when he wakes up in a hospital hes panicking for Ingo. Maybe hes forgotten about that evolution and hes just worried because he knows people had been after Ingo. That is until Ingo walks in. As a sneaseler. Emmets heart drops. Ingo just offers a soft look before looking away from Emmets gaze. Maybe Emmet gets up and walks over to him on shaky legs and just wraps his arms around Ingo. Apologies follow im sure. Which Ingo shakes his head at though hes trembling too from what hes done. Though when Emmet pulls away he can see this is the closest they have been to seeing eye to eye.

OK THATS DONE sorry its probably hard to read i kinda struggled with it. I also have no idea how talk sneaselers are. I probably made him a little tall but honestly let the man become a noble. It was for a worthy cause wasnt Arceus. Let him be tall again. Ok im a do the tunnel one now. But im a put it in a reblog of this post since this is getting long. Since i forgot about this anon for so long i think you have earned two responces for this. Though i might have three idk

[inadaydream99]

Hello! Can I request the boyz reaction to you set them as your lockscreen? Love you and your writings 💜

Hi, thank you for requesting! Sorry this has taken so long. I tried to write a mix of fluffy, slightly angsty and funny reactions so I really hope you enjoy them! 😁

Sangyeon

“What’s your passcode?” Sangyeon looks at you in intrigue, smirking when you realise that he’s holding your phone in his hand.

Now, you’re not too protective over your phone. But for some reason, the thought that Sangyeon wants to unlock it makes you nervous.

“It’s the day of our first date.” You respond timidly, swallowing the lump of nerves in your throat. You watch as he types in the code and flicks through your phone, a pleased smirk growing on his face after a few seconds.

“What’s this?” Sangyeon teasingly turns your phone screen towards you, displaying the background photo of him that you took while he was sleeping.

“I- I just thought you looked so handsome...” you trail off, fiddling with your fingers as you explain your choice of background.

“It’s funny cause I have you asleep as my background too.” Your head shoots up to meet your boyfriends cheeky expression, both of you bursting into laughter over how similar you really are.

Jacob

“Whatcha doing?” Jacob curiously asks, taking you a little by surprise as he leans over the back of the sofa. He’s seen you scrolling through your phone from the other room and decided that he wanted your attention.

“Oh, nothing.” You crane you neck round to get a better look at your boyfriend, sending him a warm smile.

What you realise a second too late, however, is that Jacob’s attention isn’t on you, but on your phone screen which you left unlocked.

You’ve never told him this, but you set your background to a picture of him. It’s one of your favourites, taken on your third date well over a year ago now. He’s sat on a park bench, looking at the scenery instead of the camera, a cheeky grin on his face. Everytime you look at the picture it brings back so many fond memories of when you first fell in love. That’s why you chose it as your background, so you could always remember that special date.

“You’re too cute.” Jacob goofily smiles down at you, pressing a kiss to your cheek when you shyly turn your head away. You can feel your cheeks warming as they flair a deep crimson, you heart beating just that little bit faster from his kiss.

Younghoon

“Now it’s perfect.” Younghoon assertively states, finally handing you back your phone.

A huge grin takes over your face when you lay eyes on your new background picture; one of you both smiling at each other, looking like two idiots in love.

Initially you’d had just a picture of Younghoon on his own as your background. It was a selfie that he had taken at a recent fan event and you thought he looked so sweet and handsome that you had saved it and made it your background screen.

When Younghoon saw your choice of background, however, he wasn’t satisfied. Although he loved that it was a picture of him, he wanted something more personal to take its place. A picture only you had.

“It really is.” You beam up at your boyfriend in responce, laughing heartily when he pulls you into a warm hug and squishes you against his chest a little too tightly.

Hyunjae

“It’s not cute, it’s embarrassing.” Hyunjae whines like a child.

Finding out that the background on your phone is an embarrassing picture of him made your boyfriend complain non stop in an attempt to get you to change it. But unluckily for Hyunjae you’re not budging in the slightest.

“Hyunjae who’s gonna even see it besides me?” You flatly state, unimpressed with his relentless pleaing.

“But what if one of your friends sees it while they are with you, or you lose your phone.” He persuades, though you only shake your head in responce, rolling your eyes playfully.

“You wanna know why that picture of you is my background?” Hyunjae nods, still pouting at you. “Because it’s real. It’s who you are, my dorky, loveable boyfriend.” You caress his cheek affectionately, watching as Hyunjae tries to hide the smile that grows on his face.

“Ok... I guess you can keep it then.” He dramatically sighs, pulling you into his embrace and hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

Juyeon

“That’s a little bit frightening.” Juyeon snickers as he looks over your shoulder while you are on your phone. You look up at him to see his amused smirk, letting out a laugh upon the realisation that he’s never seen your background before.

It’s an edited fan picture of him, from one the The Boyz memes that you found so funny you saved and made your background... just so you could look at it and laugh now and again.

“It is a little, but it’s funny.” You join in, watching as Juyeon simply shakes his head at you in return, a wide smile on his face.

“You have the strangest sense of humour, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He comments adoringly.

Kevin

“I like the one of us together better.” Kevin points to the picture of you smiling together on your camera roll.

You were deciding on what photo to make your new background and your nosey boyfriend was insistent on a particular photo of you both because he feels he’s not embarrassing or awkward in that one.

“But you’re always embarrassing and awkward.” You cheekily smirk, bursting into laughter when Kevin deadpans you.

“Come on, be serious.” He encourages, tapping on his choice of picture to enlarge it.

“But it’s what I love about you... we’re awkward together!” You plea up at Kevin, trying to get him to see the funny side at least. And it doesn’t take long before he cracks a smile, both of you laughing as you set your background picture to the one that captured you both off guard.

Chanhee

“Really, that’s your background?” Chanhee sasses, successfully gaining your attention. He’d been acting off with you all day and you’re not sure why. You know he’s stressed with work so you’ve been letting his rudeness slide, but now it’s starting to upset you. There’s only so long you can go before you bite back.

Your background just so happens to be a picture of you together from your recent holiday, back when you both were happy and relaxed and your boyfriend wasn’t constantly in a bad mood.

“I know right, instead of having a picture of my boyfriend I should change it to something that doesn’t upset me.” Chanhee stops in his tracks upon hearing your comment, spinning around on his feat to face you, letting out a huff.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He interrogates, slowly taking a few steps towards you.

“What it means is that my loving boyfriend has been nothing but rude to me all day for no apparent reason.” You state, trying to keep a straight face. But that doesn’t stop Chanhee for seeing your eyes well up with tears, his hard expression instantly falling off his face and his defensive attitude fading.

“(Y/N) I’m sorry. I love that I’m your background, really.” Chanhee apologises with wide eyes, nodding his head eagerly to show you he truly means it. “I’ve just got so much going on at the moment, I’m exhausted.” He continues, leaning into you when you cuddle into his side.

“Good because I didn’t want to have to change it.” You chuckle, cuddling yourself tighter into his embrace.

Changmin

Changmin had the biggest grin on his face when you entered the room, your phone in his hand as he stared at the smiling photo of him as your background.

“I didn’t know I was your background.” You giggle at how happy your boyfriend is because of this.

“Of course you are.” You state like it’s no big deal, that it’s just a causual thing that most couples do.

“Well I love it.” Changmin wraps his arm around your shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. “But you know what I’d love even more...” he trails off, sending you a devilish grin as you turn to face him.

“What.” You cautiously question, not sure if you want to know the answer or not.

“If you’re background was that embarrassing picture of you when you were drunk.” He darkly chuckles. “We can bet on it, if you lose then you’ll change your background.” Changmin proposes.

“I’m willing to take that risk.” You agree, matching your boyfriends playfully challenging expression.

Haknyeon

“Too bad you’re not mine...” Haknyeon quickly comments before rushing away from you.

“Haknyeon!” You shout after him in warning, telling him to get back to you though your tone.

It all started when he snatched your phone out of your hands and stumbled upon your background picture of him. Now, Haknyeon is in a particularly playful mood today, so his child like tormenting was all in good nature, but also very annoying after a while.

You cross your arms as you sulk, refusing to get out of your comfy seat to chase after him. You don’t even acknowledge your boyfriend when he enters the room again and takes a seat beside you, holding his phone in front of you.

“What did you just do.” You finally turn to face him when you hear him giggle as he taps away on his phone.

“I just got a new background.” He smirks, turning the screen around to reveal a picture of you sulking away. “Now we’re even.” He cheekily comments, holding his phone out of reach when you make a lunge to try and grab it out of his hand.

Sunwoo & Eric (because Tumblr won’t let me put more than 10 gifs per post 😥)

Sunwoo

“What is that?” Sunwoo shyly smiles at you as he leans into your side to get a better look at your phone.

“It’s you silly.” You laugh, finding his reaction very amusing. He simply rolls his eyes in responce.

Sunwoo has just become aware of your background photo, a picture of him smiling cheesily. You just thought he looked so adorable, you couldn’t not put it as your background so you could look at it all day.

“Do you not like it?” You hold back your smirk, your gaze flicking up to meet Sunwoo’s.

“No! I mean... if you like it, then I like it too.” He nods, smiling brightly back at you.

You honestly don’t know how he manages to be so completely adorable, but it makes your heart skip a beat every time.

“I’m glad.” You coo, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Eric

“Because couples need to have matching backgrounds.” Eric states like it’s a well known fact, following you around relentlessly.

He’d been trying to get you to take some couple pictures with him, just so you could have the same background on your phone. But you are reluctant, already liking the picture you have of him.

“But I don’t want to change mine.” You roll your eyes feigning annoyance. “And besides, couple photos are forced and cringey.” You comment, knowing fully well it will set your boyfriend off on a rant.

“It’s not cringey it’s cute!” Eric complain, rushing to catch up to you as you walk away. “(Y/N)! Come back.” He calls out through a whine, chasing after you desperately while you are a giggling mess.

[bxngthedoldrums]

Please go more into Pete and Mikey breaking up in Minnesota what

I'D LOVE TO

also good for us,, having the same pfp,,,we're so smart

anyway so basically we Know mikey and pete broke off whatever they were Up To on july 25th, 2005. the day before was a warped tour date, set in minneapolis, minnesota, and the 25th was an off day which means they were probably actually traveling to NY. due to the nature of warped tour however, they all traveled separately in their own respective vans, meaning mikey and pete most likely broke up in person the morning of the 25th in minneapolis and spent the rest of the day apart.

now, the WAY i know this is through livejournal. pete wentz posted this on the 24th:

"Sometimes when you're feeling this blue the right smile can save you"

which was the actual concert date for minneapolis. at this point, things seemed to be going fine. there's no post, nor actual warped tour show on the 25th, which places them as being together the night of the 24th and morning of the 25th before traveling separately to NY, right? we know SOMETHING happened the 25th, most likely in the morning in Minnesota, because on the 26th, pete posted this iconic and heartbreaking LJ entry. let's take a look:

"lately i've been into believing fictional stories like the ones about me and you being happy. they've gotta be science fiction cause how else can you have a monster fall in love with a boy with no heart? actually i'm pretty sure you have a heart, but i'm just as certain it'll never be mine. i can tell you're willing to be loved somewhere on the inside but that doesn't do me any good when i'm still seeing things through thick curtains over windows and padlocked doors on the outside. bitter regrets, predictable forfeits. we lit a fire that was nothing but smoke and hot air. ashes. my hands are empty and you hold all the cards, kind of funny how you don't even want them/me. the final nail in my coffin stabbed me in the heart - from my back. you once made my heart skip a beat, now you make it want to skip this. you've got salty mails ripping my wounds open that you're telling me to let heal. love is a mirage, you only think it's there for so long..til you either wise up or die of hydration. love is the way to blow your brains out minus the gun, i swear. it's the stupidest form of suicide cause you don't die. and whatever doesn't kill you only laughs at you for coming close enough to. sorry, it's just the bitterness talking. ignore it/me. i'm just loose words hanging on the ends of your lips, even looser when i'm anywhere near your hips. poetry written from blistered fingertips and sleep deprived eyes that was better before the ink dried. he said, "i should have stayed with her," and i should have stayed away. held together by paperclips and lies, a part of me is still trying to pretend i was (mis)hearing things but even the voices in my head aren't that mean to me. and them "i'm sorry," too late, i'm a better (re)actor than the one you're being to convince me. i'm just convinced that telemarketers are the only people with more hangups than me. you called this before you knew the number, and hung up before you got a responce. tell me any of this will get me somewhere worth being without being left behind. i tried, i gave it/you my all, but all i can do is give up. i don't tell you my insecurities so you can use them against me, but help me get over them. instead you said and did the worst thing you could do. worse than cheating to me, i hope you know. but whatever i don't even know, i guess sometimes it takes losing what you had to see what you didn't

sooo yeah, this is where i actually admit i'm tired, and i go to bed. sweet. goodnight."

so. there's a lot to unpack there and I won't do it on this post, but by the 26th they were fully apart, but the story doesn't end there. there are more posts after this that may lead one to believe that there was still some sort of physical connection. thanks for asking 🥰🥰 I hate them

[teenitinygod]

1/2 You are the most talented writer I’ve seen in awhile. Thank you for posting and being so kind to everyone even when they bombard you with requests. You’re a beautiful person and you make my heart happy 😊 Speaking of bombarding people with requests, I was wondering if you had the time, if I could please have a BSD mashup? I have long wavy hair, 50/50 blue green eyes, and I’m 5’4 tall. I’m a very sensitive individual and often have a difficult time handling my emotions.

2/2 I take things to heart far too often, but it isn’t always a bad thing because I have unconditional love for everyone in my life and enjoy going the extra mile. Overall I’m anxious, altruistic, helpful, hard working, and sincerely caring. I’ve also lost 62 pounds since November first so I guess you could say being self disciplined is one of my positive qualities? I think the most notable quality in me is my loyalty and patience. I never give up on people and try to be understanding. Thanks!

ASHABFSHAK  YOU LEGIT MADE ME CRY TYSM! I really enjoyed writing your headcanons and I hope you like them babes! requests are still open!

You were a therapist, a young one at that, your Psy.D and M.D at a young age. Opening up your practice in the same building as the ADA, you occasionally heard ruckus and sometimes you would come into your office to see bullet holes in your floor. You never moved, not being able to afford to relocate of course. 

One day you were fed up, the damage made to your office was outrageous and your secretary ended up quitting, so you angry marched to their door. You almost regretted walking in when the sight you were met by was a blonde male choking a bandaged one. You cleared your throat, getting the attention of the two… friends? You explained that some compensation was needed to make up for the damages done to your office. 

The blonde male apologized, saying he would talk to their president about sending a check to you in the next few business days. Satisfied with that answer you turned to leave, getting stopped by the brown haired male from before, who had introduced himself as Dazai, placing a kiss on your hands. You smiled when he requested double suicide, which he admits did shock him at first.

“Is double suicide is an escape from the pressure and drowning feeling of your past mistakes and experiences or is it just because you don’t see the point of living such a meaningless and empty life?” You asked bluntly, you had a habit of analyzing people's troubles and putting them into words, hense what made you such a good therapist. He froze, and Kunikida laughed behind you. “I’d love to talk about that more,” You whispered to him, turning to leave.

Dazai had requested double suicide with many women, but none have ever had that responce, he didn’t like the feeling that you had one-upped him. The next day he made his way to your office, flowers in hand, smirk on his face. You opened the door, a surprised smile making its way on your face and he handed you a bouquet of flowers. 

“Are you trying to one up me or are you here to talk?” You asked, leaning on the frame of the doorframe. Dazai pouted, “how does a date sound?” he deflected, watching as your delicate fingers felt the flowers. “Sure”

You listened, you always did, and you always seemed to know what to say and what not to say. And that scared him but he faced it, not being able to let you go. Your relationship blossomed, and soon you became a couple. It was bliss, the kisses, the dates, the flowers he always seemed to get you. His talk of suicide decreased but never stopped. This concerned you. You could see through that mask on his face

It took about 7 months of dating for him to open up to you. He came to your apartment at 3am, panic filled his eyes and he wrapped you in a tight hug. You assured him everything was fine and he told you about his past, the things he did, the people he killed. 

He never felt so loved when you wrapped him into your arms, telling him that he had changed, he was good and you saw that. He cried in your arms, and you rubbed his back. Dazai was scared as hell of you, the effect you had on him, but he wasn’t going to run. 

After that all days weren’t perfect, you both disagreed more, fought more, cried more, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. He had taken off his mask and showed himself to you. You cared more than anyone had before. And by god he loved you so much.

The first time he admitted this was when you showed up to his desk with dinner, smiling and telling him to follow you to the roof. You both ate lunch and talked and laughed. He looked at you and he nearly died, your hair flowed with the soft breeze, your eyes shone with the setting sun, your soft lips framed your bright smile.

“I love you,”

[cheekytorah]

Wolfstar | Drabble

Smoke and Chocolate

By Lacey Black

[Inspired by this beautiful picture/post]

Also you can find this on my Ao3

Owls swoop through the room, packages and rolled up bundles of papers falling in front of students of all ages. There is the usual murmuring of the professors, there's the groaning from the oldest students hungover from a night of underage drinking and the excited chattering of the younger innocent ones who've no idea of the coming darkness. Nothing that is unusual for a Monday morning.

Sirius lay his head on the table shielding his eyes from the sunlight and cringing at the smell of food. He was pretty sure he was dying, no, he was certain he was dying.

“I’m dying,” he whined.

He heard Remus snort beside him, and peaked through his fingers to glance at the tall lanky boy. Remus Lupin was, in every way, beautiful. He had sandy blonde curly hair that would fall in his eyes in a way that made Sirius twitch with the desire to push it out of the way. So he could get lost in his green-yellow eyes that reminded him of a tree in early fall. He had long arms and legs, lean muscles and the cutest round arse he’s ever seen on a person. Especially cute, exceptionally cute, fabulously cute. He might be obsessed with that arse.

“I’m certain you’ll survive, Pads,” Remus responded and Sirius could hear the smirk in his voice.

“You’re just weak. What you need is to get some bacon in you, Sirius! You’ll feel lots better!” James laughed and tossed some bacon on the empty plate by Sirius’ nose.

Sirius scrunched up his nose in disgust and pushed the plate as far from him as possible. How James could be so peppy after a night of two bottles of fire whiskey between four people is absolutely horrible. He should be arrested and sent to Azkaban for that peppiness.

“I’m definitely dying, I’m going back to the dorm, tell Sluggie I’m sick, or dead. I don’t really care which one,” Sirius pushed away from the table and headed out of the Great Hall to the Common Room.

Inside the common room he debated laying on the couch, but knowing that students coming and going would make his already pounding headache worse he decided against it. He dragged himself up the stairs to the dorm room he shared with James, Peter and Remus. He paused at the door. A flash like a memory but more like a dream flitted through his mind, overwhelming his senses.

Something about the door, the feeling of the handle in his back. The sensation of someone pressed against him, vibrations through his neck from a mouth chuckling into his skin. It feels so real, but Sirius has no recollection of any such thing happening last night. He must have had quite the dirty dream.

He flopped down on the bed, curled up under the covers, flicked his wand and the curtains pulled around the bed casting him into pleasant darkness. It’s not long till he’s fast asleep.

~*~

When Sirius wakes, it's to the sound of laughter and scuffling around the dorm, instead of the pounding that was crowding his head hours earlier. He pulls the curtains away and watches his friends all attempting to lean out the one window at the same time to smoke and look at the stars. He smiles watching James nudge Peter and his wide shoulders over, trying to free some space for him and Remus.

“Oi! Someone gunna toss me a fav too, or you love birds too busy cuddling over there?” Sirius says and laughs.

He stood up and stretched his tight arm muscles over his head, leaning back in the process and popped his back pleasantly. He looks again at his friends, just barely catching Remus looking away quickly to watch the night sky once again. James grinned and tossed the pack over so Sirius sat just under the window beside Remus, and lit his smoke with his wand.

“Feeling better, Pads?” Remus asked softly.

“Mmm,” is the reply, and Sirius pressed his shoulder briefly against Remus’ thigh before pulling away again.

“You still want to play exploding snap, lads?” James says brightly. “We can play in the common room, probably get a few more in. Maybe we can even turn it into a drinking game!”

“No more alcohol for me,” Sirius said determined. “I’ll never drink again.”

“Sure, sure. You say that every time you get a hangover,” James laughed. “Come on, Wormy, Moons? Let’s go!”

“I think I’ll head to bed actually,” Remus said thoughtfully, and walked to his bed after tossing the finished but out the window and casting an incendio on it. It turned to ash before it hit the ground.

After a few objections, James huffed and left the room, dragging Pete along too. The room became very quiet suddenly, and Sirius shifted uncomfortably under the window finishing his smoke.

“Do you regret it or something?” Remus said quietly.

Sirius looked at Remus with a puzzled expression. The boy across the room looked nervous, sad and small for being a 6 foot giant. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his feet speaking into the room, and waiting as if his life was on the line for a responce.

“Regret...regret what exactly?” Sirius asked blowing out the last puff of the cigarette. He flicked it out the window and did the same with the but as Remus had.

“What...what happened last night that’s ‘what’!” Remus glared at Sirius.

Sirius went stony quiet, he had no idea what Remus was talking about. But Remus looked mad and hurt and at Sirius. Had he said something to hurt Remus? Had he done something terrible again, because he really had meant it when he promised never to do such a horrible prank at Remus’ expense every again.

“Moony, what did I do? Whatever I did I take it back, I’m sorry, Moons,” Sirius sent a pleading look at Remus.

The other boys reaction was a flash of hurt in his eyes, pink ears and clenched hands.

“I...I understand..I get it. It was a mistake..to think...we were both drunk...” Remus stood up then and still avoiding Sirius’ eyes went to the door.

“Remus, wait!” Sirius steppes towards him.

“Don’t!” Remus bit out in a rough voice before he left and slammed the door behind himself.

Sirius stood stunned in the muddle of the room. What could he have done, it must have been horrible. He was always saying stupid things, doing stupid things. Though, he had been so determined to never hurt Remus again. Even drunk he should have been careful enough not to hurt him. So what did he do? What mistake...

At that moment, Sirius remembered. He remembered the wink at Remus across the table in the common room last night. He remembered the brush of their knees and the flush that heightened across his own cheeks. He remembered saying he was going to get all the blankets and pillows from the dorm to create a muggle fort. And he remembered Remus. Remus saying he’d help. Remus pushing his up against the door, his back pressing painfully into the handle. Remus’ hair falling into his eyes, and Sirius brushing it away and then rubbing Remus’ scars on his cheek with his own thumb.

He remembered the kiss, not just the first kiss but the second and the third after that. Spaced around smiles and laughed and bites on the neck. Sirius touched his neck, remembering the vibrations coursing through his body right down to his toes. How had he forgotten that? And then Remus ran away thinking...

Sirius burst out of the room and found Remus sitting at the bottom of the stairs watching over the group of Gryffindors playing some odd alcohol variation of Explosing Snap. Sirius sank into the step beside him, their knees touching slightly.

“I was really drunk last night,” Sirius began.

“You really don’t have to,” Remus’ voice broke.

“Shh...look I didn’t remember, not till you left the room. Moony,” Sirius grabbed the collar of Remus’ jumper forcing Remus to look at him. “I don’t regret that, I couldn’t regret it. I’ve wanted that for so long.”

Remus blinked. He blinked again. “Oh.” Was all he said, obvious shock all over his beautiful face.

“Don’t act so surprised, I mean you are the only one I want when I have a nightmare. You are the one who I stare at, like, all the fucking time. It’s always been you Moons.”

Sirius leaned closer, pressing his forehead against Remus’. Then their lips met, melting together and Sirius nibbled slightly at his bottom lip. Remus tasted of smoke and chocolate, and he’d have him no other way.

And if there was cheering, hollering and whistling across the common room, just then, neither of them noticed.

[black-rose-writings]

ML AU: Too late

Warning: Very angsty

Somawhat inspired by a post I saw way back (I don't remeber who made it and I can't find it, but I'll give credit, if I do).

Another damn time akuma. Guy was late for work, lost his job because of it, got mad, because it wasn't his fault he was late. Bam, akuma.

His goal is to make everyone late, so they'll know how he feels. He touches people and they disappear from existence for a couple of minutes (or longer) - actually precisely so long they're late for something important.

Battle ensues. Chat gets really close to grabbing the akumatized object, so the akuma touches him. Because Chat's holding him, they both disappear.

Ladybug waits, hoping Chat and the akuma would return. One by one, everyone else returns, late, but back. Without the akuma present, Ladybug can't use the Miraculous healing to speed up the process.

After a couple of days, only two people are still missing. Adrien and Chat Noir. Marinette finally connects the dots.

She's devastated, because she didn't just lose her partner and a good friend, but her love, too. (For extra angst, they could be a little older - 16/17 and dating at that point).

No more akumas appear for weeks and neither does Chat. Marinette/Ladybug finally realizes why about a month after the incident - Hawkmoth and Gabriel Agreste are the same person.

She enlists help of all the other heroes and tells them most of what she found out.

The gang confronts Gabriel. They kick his butt and take away both Miraculous in his possesion. Gabe ends up in prison.

Marinette starts her search into getting Chat back. Without the Cat Miraculous, she can't make the wish. She tries using the Butterfly Miraculous (with help of Alya) to get him back using an Akuma. Without result.

Nothing works. She gets more and more desperate and ruthless in her options. Fu refuses to keep helping her - she's going too far.

With no other options, she goes to Gabriel for advice. Gabriel is devastated - his attempts at saving his wife have killed his son, as far as he knows. He's more than happy to help Ladybug, if it means his son might get back and be okay.

Still no results. Under Gabriel's influence, she gets even more ruthless. She uses her influence as a hero to gain more and more power, slowly turning into a dangerous supervillain.

The rest of the class sees Marinette turning into uncaring and reclusive person and end up connecting the dots between Marinette and Ladybug (who’s been also much meaner and uncaring lately). Alya confronts her about her unhealthy coping mechanisms. Marinette asks her, if she wouldn't do the same for Nino, implying Alya doesn't care about Nino and didn't care about Adrien either.

The other heroes, who now have their Miraculous full time (for helping to get Hawkmoth -and they’re again 16/17, so a little more responcible) decide to stop Ladybug before she turns into a full-on villain.

The confrontation doesn't go as planned. Ladybug has much more experience and knows their weaknesses and powers. She gets their Miraculous and accidentally injures Alya. The others get her to the hospital in a very bad condition. She's almost fine in the end - the injury leaves her in a wheelchair.

Ladybug goes full-on villain, blaming Hawkmoth/Gabriel for turning her into a person, that crippled Alya. She goes to confront him and - not realizing her own strenght -kills him. That's the last straw. There's no coming back from that.

Fu runs away, knowing she would come for the other Miraculous. Without the Turtle Miraculous, his age is starting to get to him. Eventually, he hides the Miracle box somewhere, only leaving a cryptic message for the beaten heroes before he dies.

At some point, Alya releases Ladybug's identity on her Ladyblog.

Ladynette uses her cunning, intelligence and collection of Miraculous to take over most of the world.

Then, twenty years after they disappeared, the akuma and Chat Noir reappear. Twenty years too late.

To be continued...

[butch-bakugo]

Ok but Like this post gonna be long

The way some ace exclusionists talk about ace people in general like every single ace person looks the same, likes the same things, has the same opinions and that every last one of us is on tumblr is honestly fucking hilarious how wrong it is.

They act like they got the entire fucking asexual community figured out and because they are just " so knowledgable" on it, they have enough proof to satisfactorily make fun of it and judge every last individual in it. Tbh stepping away from both the inclusionist and exclusionist circle jerks has been so refreshing. I was both, ive been in both midsets tbh most of you are trash to other people and that's why im neutral.

Inclusionists have a flawed mindset inherently. Inclusion is not king in a community intended for oppressed people. Your too forgiving, often young, impressionable and just want to be everybody's friend. You want to be accepting and that mindset is great but i dont think its a coincidence that you often over lap with people who find other things excusable. You were the group that was exclusively pro-map. No exclusionists touched that side. You often are fujoshis, anti-antis and other people who want to take advantage of young people to change the world to be more crime friendly, expecially towards pedophiles, rapists and incestors. Who want you to mindlessly nod your head to let whatever in because it makes you seem like a good soul. Its not good. Your not helping anyone and being nothing but a nodding smiling bystander who cant pick a side and is too busy hyperfixating on good omens or other shit made by deplorable people to notice people being killed in the streets.

Exclusionists are abit better but often too have a flawed mindset. They are critical and skeptical and it keeps them from supporting bad people which is good. They often keep a vigilant eye to make sure they know what they are consuming and arnt willing to let a single one of them get away with x-phobic behavior, that is, only in one place and thats aphobia. They often are too critical and are set in their mindsets convinced that anyone new is a traitor and they can only really ever trust their friends. Thats sad cause it means they've been hurt before by new comers, most likely more than twice. But being over critical can be a very dangerous path that usually starts edging on non-acceptance and into bigotry. Thats why its common amoungst transmeds and nbphobic people. Even though rare, can eventually lead towards incelic beliefs, all of it usually based on complete distrust of the individual in question and polical panic. Their paranoid and they lash out to hide it.

So your probably one way or the other and look at me and go " well lefty, your critisim is correct but if neither side is truely correct than what should i be?" The answer is to be factual and critical within reason and still be a good open-minded and kind person. There is a golden median but everyone is so passionate, facts dont see the light of day or are only shown on one side. If your offended by what im saying, your scared and distrusting. Ive been in both communties for a nearly equal long amount of time and i know pretty much how they function. Its cool if you arent ready to accept the toxicity of both of them and you laugh at this old cooke for being stupid cause your obviously 100% correct but you'd only be proving me right.

Both sides have inherent flaws and to ignore them is ignorance. But that's the thing. Everyone is so wrapped on if x group Really belongs here or not that nothing is changing. No one will step away and ask how to fix it. Its the same stupid arguement repetitively and usually results in the same stupid way. Someone says something outright bigoted or pointing out a flaw in the othersides logic and then someone completely ignores them only to point at them, not face the person but instead their followers and usually follow up with one of 4 responces. 1. A meme and nothing but shock, 2. A non-refute other than stating their opinion in a dif, bigger or colored tumblr font, 3. An actual informed responce with no sources or 4. Someone repeating something they read somewhere else with broken/unrelated links and opinionated guilt tripping and manipulating speech.

Its all about being cool to their followers and showing their full rainbow of rage to their rivals. If they appear unapproachable, uncaring and cool, people will be too afraid to approach them for fear of being shut down. They are popular but not because of them but because they reinforce the beliefs of a majority of their audience. They only like you because you are a safe place for their opinions and you are an echo. Your the cave walls that say exactly what they say and they like you. Once they hear too many things they disagree with, they will leave you. They will drop you like a hot potato. I know this feeling. I lived it bitch.

The way i see it, i have the most followers i have anywhere here. Upwards of 400. If they were to drop to 10 overnight, i would be confused and maybe a little sad but overall? Id still carry my own damn opinions and keep making posts like i always have. I dont want a false audience, even if it means more people. My opinions are my own and even though its really nice and validating to see that bit of what i feel is clarity beyond the tumblr haze of people with similar opinions, i still feel confedient enough in my own beliefs that even if they werent there, id still carry on. I want to be honest here. I wont pretend to like, support, hate or slander something just because its popular. Im old enough and mature enough to not give into to tumblr peer pressure. Many people do and that's why we see them lose themselves. I did at some point. But even though a mix of lesbian content and political opinions arent popular, its still what i wanted from this blog.

I post what i want to post and say what i want to say and im confedient enough in my opinions, beliefs and self that i dont rely on others to tell me how to feel. Thats not to say that im not open minded and vigilant to important issues that do not effect me such as racism, anti-semitism, transmysogny, biphobia, etc but it dosent mean i cant relate, understand and help dismantle the belief systems that people like me on this axis of oppression have created and be sure not to contribute to them.

In the end be vigilant and critical but dont be so lost in the negative you cant be kind and understanding.

[kihyuni3]

Seventeen (Hip Hop Unit) Reaction to their S/O Flinching during a Fight

Okay so this ended up way longer than I had expected it so I’ve decided to split it into unit instead of doing the whole group in one post like I usually do. Thank you to @sassmeen for being super cool and requesting. I appreciate so much!

The gifs might not match entirely because it’s hard to find gifs of them that match the situation, but it’s part of my format so I didn’t want to skip out on it.

~Izzy

Warning:

There isn’t actually domestic violence in this but it could possibly be triggering for some readers

Vocal Unit

S.coups/Seungcheol -

Seungcheol strikes me as the type of guy who would be very level headed during arguments for the most part, but when he go carried away he got really carried away. All the pent up anger from things not going well for his comeback would just all come out on you.

The argument had started one night when he had come home after a bad practice. It would start out over something really minor, like him forgetting to get something when he went grocery shopping last, but due to his bad mood he would snap. Soon the whole thing would devolve into a screaming match about anything and everything the two of you could think of. Seungcheol wouldn’t realize what he was saying or doing, he was just in such an emotional place and needed a way to let it out. Unfortunately this made it so he didn’t realize how harsh he was being, that was until he reached his hand up to rub his forehead and you flinched away from him. As soon as he saw how afraid of him you were in that moment, everything would come into perspective.

He wouldn’t say anything for awhile, he just needed sometime to sort things out in his head. Seungcheol is the type of guy who would want you to always be a safe haven for you, and now that he’s ruined that he would just be so mad at himself. Even though he knew he really messed things up and you might want to take a break from him he would want to start fixing things immediately. Slowly he would go up to you and pull you into his chest, making sure you knew his intentions weren’t to harm you. He would start to shush you and apologize profusely, still in shock that he had destroyed the trust ofthe person he cared about the most.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I would never hurt you. We can fix this okay, I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this.”

Wonwoo - With Wonwoo fights would be very few and far between. The two of you were the type of couple to talk through any issues and resolve them in a relatively civil manner, so this fight was very out of the blue. Wonwoo was having an awful day at practice, he kept forgetting the new dance and the guys were being particularly harsh with him since it was almost comeback time. Even though there comments really did hurt him, he refused to say anything back to them. This made it so his anger was all pent up by the time he was practice had ended. Wonwoo figured seeing you would be help him get over his mood, but unfortunately he was wrong. One joking comment from you about how he didn’t look so good would make him snap. Which was something you would have never expected. The argument was relatively one sided with him just releasing his anger on you, not realizing how badly it hurt you. But one simple hand motion to grab his keys off of a table next to you quickly brought him back to reality as he saw you flinch and turn away from him. Wonwoo wouldn’t even get near you after he saw what he had done, he would back as far away from you as possible to try and let you know that that wasn’t his intention. He would wait for the situation to calm down a bit before talking to you again. After explaining everything to you, he wouldn’t even give you a chance to speak before telling you that he would understand if you wanted to take a break or just leave him completely. He’d just leave your place after that, he knew all of this was his fault and he wouldn’t want his presence to cause you pain any longer. It would be a lon time before he could get up the courage to see you again. “I know what I did hurt you a lot and I’m sorry. It’s clear that your better off without ne here so I’m just going to leave. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done.”

Mingyu - Arguements with Mingyu were usually very brief; An argument would end just as quickly as it had started, none of them every being about anything too serious. This argument would start out exactly how every other argument did with something silly that the two of you just couldn’t agree upon. However, for some reason this argument continued to escalate in a way none of your previous arguments had. Neither of you really knew why you were screaming at each other, at some point it turned into a matter of pride than any actual issue with your relationship, and neither of you were willing to lose. At some point he would deliberately say something to you that he knew you were insecure about just to get under your skin, but what he wasn’t expecting was a rebuttal from you with just as much venom. This would cause him to throw his hands up in frustration triggering anothe responce he wasn’t expecting which was you turning away from him as if to protect yourself. Mingyu would need a second to process the situation. He knew what it looked like, but he really wanted it to be anything else.  However, when it didn’t look like there was any other explanation he would have to accept the fact. He wouldn’t move or say anything to you, the two of you would stay in the same position for a cery long time. Mingyu would be so upset that he had jeopardized your relationship for something so simple. After moving his hands to a more neutral position he would give you the most genuine apology he could and explaining to you everything that was going through his head. When he was done he would just stand still in his position until he could tell what you wanted him to do, as to not risk scaring you anymore. “I’m so sorry this is all my fault. I don’t know why I risked everything we’ve built together over something so stupid like an argument. Please just let me know what i need to do to make this better.”

(pls ignore dk and jun)

Vernon/Hansol - Vernon seems like a guy who would be really passionate in a relationship. This means for the most part the relationship is always fun but that also means that the fights are also intense. Usually, however, they don’t happen often enough for it to cause any problems. For some reason the two of you were in particularly bad moods that day. The two of you were supposed to go out on a date together, but as soon as he got to your place to pick you up your combined energy just caused the two of you to blow up into an argument. Because loud arguments weren’t entirely uncommon Vernon wouldn’t realize how harsh he was being with you. You would be arguing back, but more out of defense rather than to prove a point at some point but Vernon wouldn’t realize and keep escalating. At one point he lifted his hands to off his jacket and you pull back from him cowering away from him. Hansol would then realize what had happened. He would finish taking off his jacket before separating himself from you; He didn’t want you to see him as a threat so he would just move as far away from you as possible without leaving the room. I think he would be one of the members that would actually suggest that the two of you take a break, not break up completely but take some time away from each other. He would need time to sort this out for himself and he would want to better himself before he saw you again. After the situation had defused a but he would slowly approach you before giving you a gently hug and a kiss on the forehead before leaving. “I just want you to know I love you so much and I never want to hurt you, but right now I need time to make myself better for you because that’s what you deserve.”

request

masterlist

schedule

[gayfrenchtoast]

It was fathers day yesterday

I guess in some places rn it still is

A few weeks ago I told my dad to fuck off. I couldn't take dealing with him anymore, pretending that I liked him and I was fine, for what? His sake? His feelings? Self preservation?

I think the main reason was to be able to see my siblings, be allowed to go up there and see them, but since they've moved I've done that what, once? Because of covid, because they're so far away, because his Fiance hates me for something I didn't do, because I don't want to see him. In a way its fucking incredible that he didn't realise that the problem was him at all until I told him. Though in a way it's also not because he only ever sees what he wants to see. He saw everything was fine, that he had done no wrong, and I saw my life laud out in trauma made by him. He's a fucking asshole and the worst part is he will never see himself that way. His only "flaw" to himself will ever be that he's "too good".

So I decided that the ability to go see my siblings wasn't worth it, because it was just me leaving the door ajar for him to reach in. I decided that sacrificing that would be better for me and maybe, hopefully, would trigger a change that would make life better for my siblings if he knew what he did. I wasn't prepared like I'd wished to be when the moment arrived, he'd called me because I when he dropped my sister off at mh mothers' (where I live currently) I didn't want to talk to him and pretend it was all okay. I decided as soon as I saw him I was gonna start resisting him, not coming at his call and not pretending everything was okay. But the simple act of not wanting to talk to him that day, not pretending, started him asking, poking, he wouldn't take "I don't want to talk to you right now" and after he left he called me, he claimed he wasn't trying to get anything like a confrontation ect but then why did he call asking so adamantly for information? I tried lying to him, telling him I just missed my siblings as my anxiety and dissociation built up, but he just kept pushing until I finally said "it's you. You're the problem." I can barely most of the exact words around that time but I remember telling him it was him so vividly. He then started pushing on that. Asking stuff like "what did I do to you" and I started, while shaking, telling him how he treated me

Then his phone died

And I realised, over phone, hearing his voice, my anxiety and dissociation set off because of it, he had power over me. He could manipulate me in real time while I was in a fragile state because of him, weather he realised it or not. He had pushed me into this before I was ready, so from there on out it was going to be on my terms.

So I texted him, I texted him as vilify as I could explaining myself, he texted my sister to call him using his finace's phone, I took her phone and texted him saying I was texting him and wasn't going to call him. He called me using his finance's phone and I didnt pick up. He called me when his phone got charge, I didn't pick up. All while writing out a message like is said I would. He texted me telling me "he would appreciate me talking to him because I left him wondering what he'd done" as if I hadn't already told him I was messaging him. Finally, finally, I sent the long message off with a small niggling of satisfaction and hope.

The next day he responded. Telling me he was "just trying to be tge best dad he could, he wasn't looking to confront me and its not his fault because kids don't come with a manual! Oh - I've loved you since the day you were born Nd I ditn understand why you think I'm a bad parent!" Like I hadn't already told him in the last message which gave me the hint he wasn't really listening to me "oh what should I do next?"

Well I told him that calling me and pushing me like that was confrontation but go on, you can have a little leniency, it wasn't just because you were confronting me, but because I'm tired of dealing with you and you continuing your shitty ways! In responce to him asking me what he should do next I told him he should probably try therapy and it wasn't my job to walk him through being a good dad. Which I really hoped would get through to him and offer him a chance to get help. How foolish I was. I then gave him not one but two examples of how he'd been a shit dad and hurt me in the past, in a good bit of detail, and then told him I'd like to go low contact and that I hope for a better life for my siblings now he knows.

Now I have been keeping it civil this whole time, I haven't sworn at him, I haven't been sarky, I haven't antagonised him, I have been all around trying to just talk with him, be honest and give actually good information to him in hoped of making him better and more knowledgeable about how he is in hopes of changing him for the better to give my siblings a better life. I have been giving a dramatic, cathartic re-telling of the texts up to this point but I have decided that I cannot encapsulate the amount of absolute bullshit that was sent to me the next day in my own words. So will be a direct copy paste of his message with names censored, any changes I I made or notes added on for context will be in red;

----------------------------

(Me), what has (sister) told you about life here?

I think I am as understanding as I can be around the kids and when they get told off it's in proportion to the offence they caused. It is important that children learn boundaries.

Our children are happy and certainly do not think I'm the monster you do.

It seems you see the situation is so serious I need therapy.

I think perhaps this is the other way round and you need to seek help to address your mental health problems. Your recollections appear to differ from mine, as does your interpretation of my motivations as a parent.

I'm sorry you feel this way. Many children have a hard time at home and do suffer abuse. You were not one of them. Between your mother, grandparents and I you were always (and remain) a much loved child.

If I've been annoyed with you it has only because I want the best for you.

As my first child I had to learn a lot with you but I know you were a happy child who was glad to see me when I picked you up from school and when we played or when I read a bedtime story.

Perhaps our divorce was more of a plausible reason.

I also think it is unfair for you to create all of this and then run away and not speak.

You did this over the cannabis issue, although your actions led to far reaching consequences you didn't care and wouldn't talk about it. You couldn't even apologise; which if you had would have put relationships on an even keel to rebuild. (The "cannabis issue" is a whole other situation but basically his finace's daughter told her mum that I asked her for weed after I'd been in the room when she got a call from someone asking her for weed and his fonace then blamed me when she "got back into drugs". If more elaboration is needed I will make a whole other post)

You can't do this and then refuse to speak, leaving everyone wondering.

I can only respect your request for low contact as you call it, but I love you and always will.

I would prefer if we could rebuild our relationship. I think you are dwelling on the bad times too much and ascribing too much meaning to events I don't recall the same way. It must be difficult only listening to the household you live in.

I have always tried my hardest for all my children and I hope I always will. Does it mean nothing, all the work I have done for you? I have tried to be a good example of a parent and give you, (sister), (little step brother) and (baby brother) what I think you need to go forwards in life in the real world.

I've known you are feeling strange to me for a while but I'm still doing my best to be a good dad.

I have never sought to hurt you (me). I have always thought about how I compared to my father, a good dad. I have not been as strict with or shouted at my children the way I was shouted at. I have been proud of that.

When I've been strict it's because I thought it was to teach you boundaries. When I've been stressed I have shouted. Being a parent is stressful. Being one who really cares is really stressful.

I don't want to become a stranger (me). I know you feel more comfortable with your mum than me and my family. I accept that.

We are different but I have always supported and helped when I could. I have sought to protect you from harm and prepared you to be an adult.

Please don't let the past dominate your feelings for the present. For your sake, find happiness in the here and now. If you have anxiety and depression it will be your choice to recover. If keeping me away will help it's up to you, but I am here when you want me.

-----------------------

So I feel like that speaks for itself, however I am worried that I may hit the charecter limit soon so if it doesn't you can see my, very long, reponce in part 2

If you are wondering why I am doing this and posting it to tumblr, half of it is cathartic and the other half is for record and posterity.

[ilovelocust]

Mirror Mirror (Part 5)

Note: Questions, criticisms, things you like? Let me know what you think of the fic so far.

<< First < Prev.

There are two guards outside the cell.  They snap to attention when Keith passes them, and fall into step a few paces behind Shiro when he follows Keith out.  The halls of the ship are practically empty as they walk.  The few Galra they pass barely give his nakedness a glance, seemingly more concerned with standing a bit straighter or patrolling a bit more precisely for Keith’s benefit.  

The doctor had called Keith “My Prince”.  The title made sense in how the other Galra were behaving in his presence, but that also meant they recognized him on sight.  That precluded the option of Keith’s appearance being some weird illusion meant to fuck with his head.  This had to be what he actually looked like for them to respond this way.  Keith was actually a Galra prince.  How the hell?

Had Shiro died in that last fight?  He remembered fighting Zarkon, that final attack to rid the universe of him forever.  Awakening Black’s true power, charging, then nothing.  Next thing he knew, he’d woken up in a Galra lab and been hauled off to that cell.  Had Keith ignored his request to become the Black Paladin, only to become part of the Empire.  Using his resources to resurrect Shiro?  No, no, that made no more sense than a Prince walking around with Keith’s face enough to be recognized.  What was the point of going through all that trouble to resurrect him, only to do this.  Keith loved him.  He wouldn’t hurt Shiro like this.  No matter how much time had passed.

The place he’s led is like every other Galra medical wing he’s ever seen.  Heavy duty restraints on the examination tables. Scattered machines he doesn’t know the purpose of or desperately wishes he didn’t.  Even the guards posted at the entrance in case someone gets too rowdy in their escape attempt are the same.  The only saving grace is he can’t hear any screaming off in the distance.  Either this ship isn’t one of the prison haulers, like the type he was held on previously, or it’s what passes as night on-board.  Either, are equally likely.  

The guards flanking him jab him in the back, when he hesitates at the entrance. “Sit,” The doctor orders, gesturing towards the table.  Shiro does as he’s told, before he is forced further, and very carefully doesn’t think about all the other times he’s been in places like this.  He doesn’t know how the current Keith would react to a panic attack, but he’s fairly certain of the guards.  Tying him down and letting him hyperventilate himself into unconsciousness would be one of the kinder options they could employ.

As soon as he sits, the doctor begins treatment.  He isn’t gentle.  Shiro’s wounds are brusquely cleaned and wrapped, his broken fingers set, and blood samples are taken.  All with little care for if the handling causes him pain, but it is at least professional in speed and efficiency.  Pain is the side effect, not the point.  What does it say about him that he feels genuinely grateful for the lack of sadism.

Keith watches the entire proceeding with increasing impatience.  Shiro is irrationally reminded of when Keith used to wait for his turn in the simulators.  Annoyed and tapping his foot, as if the other cadet’s slow progress was a personal affront to him.  Patience had never been his virtue, even if he had been trying as of late.  A sharp tug against one of his bandages jerks him out of his distracting thoughts.  “Done my lord,” The doctors says, turning away from Shiro, “If your plans permit, I recommend rest to promote healing.  Otherwise keep his wounds clean, and he should heal given time.  Bring him back if any of the wounds continue to be inflamed or he runs a fever.”

Keith nods dismissively, and the doctor bows before scurrying out of sight.  Keith attention turns to Shiro.  He tenses, as Keith approaches, preparing for a fight.  He won’t go back in the cell willingly.  The guards will have to drag him.  He obeyed so far because it was a reprieve from the pain.  If Keith thinks his cooperation will extend to sitting back down in that chair, he’s deluding himself.  

Keith doesn’t seem to notice or care what Shiro is thinking.  The guards watch him warily, but Keith enters Shiro’s space like he’s no threat at all.  Simply grabbing his chin to pull him down to his level.  Shiro barely keeps from throwing a punch with his one working arm, “Would you like that, pet?  Some sleep?” He asks, “If you continue to be a good boy, I can arrange it.”  He’s a bit taken aback.  He didn’t expect him to actually take the doctors advice. Still the question feels like such an obvious trap, that Shiro doesn’t know how to respond.  Keith apparently doesn’t need a responce, because after a second Keith smirks and backs off, “Follow me.”  He orders. The guards step in behind him to make sure he obeys.

.

He’s hesitant at first, but quicker to follow once he realizes they’re heading in the opposite direction of his cell.  The room he is led to is not nearly nice enough to be a prince’s quarters, but far too nice to be the sort of place you keep a prisoner.  Even when he was at the height of his popularity as a gladiator, the most he ever got was a private cell with his own cot.  Nothing like the large King sized bed and attached bathroom this room seems to sport.

The guards wait outside, as Keith walks inside, kicking off his shoes and sitting against the headboard.  He looks at Shiro expectantly and when he makes no move in response, sighs, “Lay down, Takashi,” Keith says, patting the spot beside.  He doesn’t like the implications of what’s going on.  He’s suddenly very aware that he hasn’t been given any clothes to replace the ones that where cut off, but he really doesn’t want to go back to his cell either.  

Carefully he crawls into the opposite side of the bed, as far as possible from the other occupant.  Keith glares at him for that, obviously annoyed at him, “If you want to rest, you will come here,” Keith warns.  Shiro scoots closer, and the second he’s in range Keith grabs his shoulder and pulls him off balance.  Shiro tries to catch himself, but forgets his arm has been deactivated and ends up sprawling with his head forcibly dropped into Keith’s lap.  Keith gives an amused huff of laughter, entertained by his lack of coordination “There, now you may sleep,” Keith says, patting his head before reaching over to the night stand for some sort of tablet.  He flips the thing on, and starts to read something Shiro can’t see.

He waits, but Keith makes no further move towards him, seemingly satisfied with their current position.  Shiro is not okay with this.  He not happy with the idea of sleeping with his head pillowed in the lap of the man who’s spent the last who knows how long seeing how loud he could make him scream, but the longer he lays there, the more and more he remembers exactly how dead exhausted he is.  Whatever energy he’d marshaled to make it to the medical wing then to this room begins to dissipate.  Pretty soon his eyes might as well be made of lead for how hard they are to keep open.  It’s not a peaceful sleep that eventually pulls him under.

-

Even once he’s clean, Shiro can’t work himself up to leave the room.  He knows the longer he stays here the more worried the other will get, but he just can’t.  He doesn’t feel ready. One day won’t cause them to worry too much, he convinces himself.  He can have one day.

So he stays in, never leaving for the promised leftovers or later lunch.  When dinner time rolls around, he’s not certain if he’s surprised to find Keith, once again at his door.  He almost shuts it before he can say anything, but Keith has his foot blocking it open before he can.  

“Shiro, wait!,” Keith says, as Shiro tries to shove the panic from the aggressive action down.  Keith is not here to hurt him.  He’s sorted his head enough to know that for certain.

“Get out of my door,” Shiro keeps his voice purposefully even, but something must show through, because Keith looks taken aback.

“O-okay, I’ll go,” Keith starts, “but take this.” Shiro hadn’t noticed Keith was carrying something but now he’s getting a bowl pressed into his hands, “You don’t need to come out, or talk to anyone, just eat, please,” Keith says.  When Shiro wraps his hands around the bowl, Keith removes his foot from the door and steps back, “Alright, I’m leaving.  I’ll leave some more food for breakfast.  You don’t need to answer the door.  Just get it at some point, okay?” When Shiro doesn’t respond, Keith nods to himself and turns to walk down the hall.

“Keith,” Shiro calls at his retreating back, “Thank you.”  Keith deserves that, because Shiro is grateful.  Very grateful, for not being forced to leave.  He needed someone to care about his wishes.

Keith smiles like Shiro had given him the world, “You’re welcome,” He says, “Be back tomorrow morning!” He waves, before continuing down the hall.

Shiro is not ready to come out yet, but he thinks tomorrow, he might answer the door.

Next >

[imaginefantasticx]

Let This Be A Sign (Part 4)

(A/N: I know I said that this would’ve been posted up by yesterday, but In a turn of events, I was just accepted into a very difficult (and v interesting) internship at my university and I honestly couldn’t be happier! My apologies for not keeping my promise! ALSO~ holy crap?? 1.5K followers? Thank you so much! xx)

Despite you being very frustrated with Newt at this precise moment, you couldn't help but lead him to your apartment building.

“Do you have anywhere to stay?” You asked blandly in front of the brown and red building.

“No I don't,” replied Newt as he glanced upwards, “but I can make accommodations elsewhere.”

“Nonsense,” you retorted, throwing Newt a soft smile as you opened the building door, only to walk through it. “I have a spare room you can take- if you'd like of course.”

“T-thank you.” Replied Newt quietly as he too, stepped through the door.

“Nobody stays with me,” you began to explain, “but I've always had a spare room in case, um-”

“In case I came back?”  Newt asked with a raised eyebrow, causing you to blush slightly.

“No,” you replied with a devilish smile your blush still in full bloom, “in case I wanted to bring someone over.”

Your response caused Newt to stop in his tracks and blush furiously, while you continued to walk aimlessly through the hall, stopping when you reached the elevator. He was still standing there, stiff as a board as he stared at you, his ears and cheeks red as a tomato.  “Are you coming?”

Your question seemed to snap him out of the trance he was in because not three seconds later was he at your side, clearing his throat. “S-sorry,” he said, “you kind of threw me off for a second there.”

“Did I?” you asked innocently, “how come?”

“No reason in particular.”

You hummed in response and nodded as the elevator arrived, creating a ‘ding’. As you both stepped into the elevator you pressed your floor’s button and fiddled with your fingers, a nervous habit you adapted.

“D-did you ever find someone else?” Newt asked suddenly, causing you to turn your head in question, “you know- after us?”

You couldn’t help but take a deep breath and shake your head slowly, not taking your eyes off of the wooden floors that lined the elevator. “It’s kind of hard to find someone else when you’re the latest rumor in Hogwarts Drama.”

You didn’t look up at Newt as you continued to stare at the ground, the elevator humming underneath the both of you. “Everyone talked about how you went off and saved Leta, leaving me for her, because I wasn’t good enough.”

“But that’s not true!” Replied Newt, shock entering his voice, “I didn’t want to leave (Y/N), but I couldn’t let her take the blame!”  

Right as the elevator hummed to a stop and a ‘ding’ echoed in the small space where both you and Newt stood, you looked up at shrugged at your clearly upset best friend. “It’s in the past Newt,” you said gravely, “maybe we should just let this go- it might be better for us.”

As soon as you reached your apartment door, you couldn’t help but suddenly feel very sheepish about having a man enter your private space.

It really shouldn’t have mattered since the boy was Newt of all people, but you figured it was the fact that you hadn’t seen him in so long that made you nervous.

Your apartment wasn’t much, but to you it was the place where you could destress and relax, really it reminded you of the Hufflepuff Common Room. (A place you really missed, truth be told)

The walls were a light cream color while pots and pots of lilies added decoration to it. Pictures of your family and friends from both Hogwarts and MACUSA lined the walls to add a more home feeling to it.

As you walked in your living room you couldn’t help but take a quick look at one of the frames among the many that lined your wall. The picture held two Hufflepuff’s who were laughing uncontrollably and holding hands tightly as they walked along fallen leaves. You loved that picture dearly because, although things with Newt didn’t end ideally, you liked to remember the good times you had with him.

As you turned around to welcome Newt into your home you accidentally bumped into him because he was standing right behind you. You bumping into him hardly seemed to faze him as he stared at the frame with sad eyes. “Is that us?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” you admitted just as quietly, your cheeks flushing slightly. “I-uh, kept a few things after moving here- it reminded me of home and I thought it would make the process a little bit easier.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you replied, clearing your throat slightly. It’s not that you didn’t want to talk to Newt about the situation at hand, you just didn’t feel like it should matter anymore- the both of you were now adults and it was time to forget such a long memory. “I can show you to your room if you want- it’s right across from mine.”

You waited for Newt to reply but when he didn’t, you couldn’t help but tug lightly on his jacket like a child; the movement caused him to look at you with sad eyes, “Come on,” you said softly, “I’ll show you to your room and then I’ll make us some dinner.”

In the short few minutes that it took Newt to settle in his room, you excused yourself to make dinner when he gripped your arm, forcing you to stop leaving; you raised an eyebrow in question.

“Your home is very lovely,” he said, a soft smile on his face, “Thank you for sharing it with me.”

“N-no problem,” you responded.

“I want to show you something too if you don’t mind,” Newt continued as he walked away from the neatly folded bed and placed his suitcase on the ground softly, clicking the straps open. “I want you to meet my creatures.”

Stepping inside Newt’s suitcase felt like an entire different world, you couldn’t help but gasp quietly as his creatures gathered around Newt, each of them whining slightly. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself when you heard Newt mutter, “it’s okay, it’s okay, Mummy’s here.”

Suddenly you felt something small scurry onto your leg, causing you to jolt, but before you could say anything, you were greeted with big black eyes and a bill like snout. It sniffed at your necklace before looking at you curiously.

“Hello,” you said softly, “and who are you?”

“That’s the Niffler,” Newt replied suddenly as he walked towards you, a smile on his face, “he’s a devious little thing, but quite sweet if he likes you.”

“Has he ever gotten you in trouble?” you asked with a grin as the Niffler played with your necklace lightly.

“Actually,” replied Newt sheepishly, stepping closer to eye the Niffler pointedly, “he’s the one that made a scene in the bank.”

“Oh!” you replied, glancing at the Niffler, “so you’re the one that made Tina arrest Newt.” In responce the Niffler sniffed at you once more before burying its head in it’s hands in an almost apologetic way, causing you to gush slightly.

In your mind, Dinner was long gone as Newt continued to show you around his suitcase, you met all of his creatures and enjoyed the way he would behave with each individual creature.

 In fact, you even met a funny little creature named Pickett, who gratefully, took to you very well; he even let you carry him for a while.

Everything was going well until Newt asked you to pick up some of the food for the Erumpent from the shed. Of course you obliged instantly and practically skipped to the shed. 

Dare you say it, but everything was starting to feel like your times in Hogwarts again, you swear you hadn’t had this much fun in ages.

Upon entering the Shed, you couldn’t help but playfully roll your eyes at Newt’s messy workspace, you remember quite well your study sessions with Newt and how messy the workspace got quite quickly; but as you continued to walk around the Shed, eager to find the Erumpent food, you couldn’t help but pick up a nearby picture frame from a table, curious.

The picture moved beautifully as it showed a young girl smiling playfully at the camera, her smile radiant, although the picture was in black and white. 

Your eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you tried your best to figure out who this girl was, she seemed oddly familiar.

You turned the picture frame slightly and gasped quietly when you found handwriting on the back, it was written delicately in fine ink.

 “Thank you Newt, I look forward to seeing you again. -Leta Lestrange x.”

Read Part Three HERE