#the post sphere blues is getting to me

[rebelacrobat]

“sing this one with me this is foh-tee”

[adhdvane]

i love that last gw i barely participated bc i was so burnt out (and also playing totk), but afterwards told myself: you know what? for all gw going forwards i will work hard if it’s dark or wind favored but everything else i’ll just take it easy. do the prelims to solo into c tier, do a little interlude, and then do around 100mil honors at most for each final day to put less pressure on myself. and then next gw gbf is like lol we have added sands of eternity to the honor rewards. you know, the drop item that has a worse drop rate than gold bricks :) you know, the thing you need one more of for the final uncap of the binds of the hanged man. the thing you need to uncap so you can 5* caim. so you can unlock the world fight in the arcarum. :) you can get it now instead of waiting for another crucible event (or waiting for 2 more sunglight stones for the last two evokers for the trophy). me: OH THAT’S GREAT NEWS! gbf: it’s 800mil honors :) me:

[bekkathyst]

BEKKATHYST 2024 Giveaway!

~This giveaway is in no way affiliated with Tumblr.~

Please read thoroughly before entering!

Hello lovely Tumblr folk! It’s that time again- I have a giveaway for you all. 💜

We have an online store that could use your support!

You can also find us on Instagram and if you enjoy our shop you can also sign up for our email newsletter here to get updates about new inventory and sales!

About us: My business is a small, family-run establishment that I started here on Tumblr in 2013. I’ve been lucky enough to grow to the point where this supports me, my partner, and our daughter. In the US we also had a brick-and-mortar shop in which I employed my mom and a few of my siblings. However, we closed it to be able to move to Austria, my home country! 💜 I strive to put compassion and ethics above all else in my business, and I hope that shines through. We have a website but also run many fun sales directly here on Tumblr!

This giveaway will have two winners.

What the first winner receives:

All the pictured crystals, plus a $100 gift card that can be used for our online store or our Tumblr sales. Pictured crystals: rose quartz wand, blue calcite elephant, azurite/malachite, druzy cutbase, amethyst sphere, Himalayan quartz, girasol rose quartz palm stone, amethyst star and moon, labradorite pebble, prehnite, hematoid quartz, sunstone/moonstone, scenic quartz, flower agate heart, black quartz, selenite from Spain, moss agate sphere. Also included is a spirit quartz and alder cone copper necklace, handmade by me!

What the second winner receives:

A $50 gift card that can be used for our online store or Tumblr sales!

Rules:

You must be 16 or older. (If under 18 you MUST have parent’s permission)

You can be from anywhere in the world! I am shipping from Austria.

Shipping is entirely free, I will cover it. But if you live in a country that charges import tax on gifts, you are responsible for it. If it gets sent back to me, you will need to pay shipping to have it sent again.

You must be following me, so you can get updates if anything about the giveaway changes.

Please check out our online shop!

Reblog this post to enter. Likes count as additional entries. No giveaway or spam blogs. If you reblog on a side blog, let me know in the tags what the name of your blog is that you’re following me with.

At the end, each entry will be assigned a number and the winner will be chosen by a random number generator.

The giveaway ends on July 1st, 2024.

The winners will be messaged and must respond with their full name and address within 24 hours, or a new winner will be chosen.

Please respect me and my rules, and have fun!

[star-bursts-industries]

Brian currently consumed by SMAU thoughts. There’s so much potential.

Andrew and Neil are NEVER online. They have accounts because they have too, but there’s only like….5 photos on their pages combined. And it’s like press photos. They post like Harry Styles ok. Once in a blue moon and you have no idea if it’s them or the press team (it’s definitely the press team).

Allison is purposely chaotic, the ultimate f you to her family. She stirs shit up just because she can.

Dan and Renee are properly trained little media girlies. Pretty photos and pretty tame, Dan sometimes gets out of hand if provoked but it’s never anything to crazy.

Seth is banned from having access to his accounts like once a month for posting offensive shit simply because he doesn’t know how NOT to be an asshole.

Matt is a FUCKING comedian. He also professionally shit posts. Movie critics, exy stats and ultimate professional trash talk.

Kevin is basically a professional exy account, the only thing on his account is exy and he’s like the least controversial because all he does is talk about exy. Sometimes he gets a little harsh with his criticism.

Nicky is one of those accounts everyone sees but no one really follows you know? He’s funny but in a wtf way? Bro is all jokes, thats IT. He also faces near monthly expulsion from his accounts but for inappropriate behavior in the public sphere.

Aaron funnily enough has the most followers out of all of them, even Kevin. Aaron’s account is basically faceless and he just posts candid shots of his life. Like look at my ice coffee, watch me study, here’s a time laps of me cleaning my dorm. Aaron is followed by a lot of people even people who don’t care about exy for the soul purpose of he somehow became one of those accounts that just gives people motivation. Funnily enough he did it by complete accident, he started posting photos for the sole purpose of keeping in touch with the friends he wasn’t supposed to have because Andrew. It exploded without him meaning too.

Even funnier? The other foxes have NO IDEA. Aarons internet handle is something dumb and not at all related to his name. So they all think Aaron is using the fact he’s the least problematic child to get out of media duty, and since Aaron doesn’t post his face online they don’t realize those photos that always go viral across the PSU campus are Aaron.

Wymack knows. Wymack has decided this is INFACT above his pay grade ( he also thinks its both funny and good for Aaron, since Aaron is usually the fox that gets looked over)

Aaron doesn’t pay that much attention to the numbers his posts make either. Bro really just likes pulling one on the other foxes.

Also study with me posts help keep him accountable for how he spends his own time.

[merakisphere]

Here's a Fun Fact, did you know this!?

"Was it a car or a cat I saw"

Spelled backwards is:

"Was it a car or a cat I saw"

Can someone remind me what you call these types of play on words? Also, if you know anymore, please share! :)

I am overjoyed that you've come across my handmade work! These are fascinating pieces that continue to captivate my attention since seeing them back in the early 90s. #corememory

I construct every piece by hand as you can see in the video. Please help me decide on a name for this crackly-blue colour way, as it's current name (Crackled Cobalt) feels a bit uninspiring...

Please consider reblogging/sharing my post as this helps get the word out that these still exist! I'm certain for every 10 reblogs, it'll cross paths with someone who also shares memories of these when they were younger.

My Etsy Shop: Meraki Sphere Use code TUMBLR for a special discount just for hanging out. <3

[dorothylarouge]

Dorothy's Big List of Comic Book Recs - DC Comics Edition

I often get asks about getting into comic books, and how daunting it seems, given the huge back catalog of titles and issues available. I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be scary! From miniseries that act as good introductions to characters to runs on ongoing titles by individual creators that serve on jumping-on points, there's lots of ways to get into comics without having to have a lot of background knowledge, and I'm going to give you a lot of potential places to start. Please note that this post only covers DC Comics; Marvel and indie lists will follow! Also note that I haven't read everything, and I won't recommend something I haven't read, so a few runs or books some consider must-reads may not be on here. This is based purely on books I have read and enjoy, and that I think are suitable for new readers. I'm also not including books from the Milestone and Wildstorm imprints as they're kind of a separate sphere to me, although some Vertigo books may be included.

SUPERMAN

All-Star Superman by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely: This is the book that made me a Superman fan. It is an out-of-continuity celebration of Superman and his world, and an exploration of why Superman as a character has endured for nearly a century.

Superman For All Seasons by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale: A gorgeously-illustrated and Americana-flavored recounting of Superman's early years in Metropolis, anchored narratively by the changing of the seasons.

Superman: Birthright by Mark Waid and Lenil Francis Yu: For my money, the definitive origin story for Superman. Great characterization of the entire supporting cast, including Lex Luthor, make this a perfect entry point into the character and his world.

Action Comics (1939) and Superman (1939) by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster: The earliest Superman stories are still really great, and have a populist edge that many later stories sanded down. They're pulpy and fun and I recommend them!

Action Comics (2011) by Grant Morrison: This run spans issues 1-18, plus a special issue 0, of the series launched as part of DC's mostly-failed 2011 reboot, and covers Superman's early years in this continuity. The early issues bring back some of the edge that was present in the Golden Age comics, and the rest of the run is solid stuff as well. Morrison always comes highly recommended.

Superman: Red and Blue: An athology series that focuses on a broad sampling of Superman's world and supporting cast, written and drawn by various creators.

Action Comics (1939) by Geoff Johns: Specifically, I would say that issues 855 to 870 are a good span to be checking out for Geoff Johns' run on the book. These include some great stories focusing on classic Superman villains such as Bizarro, Toyman, and Brainiac.

Superman Smashes the Klan by Gene Luen Yang and Guruhiru: An adaptation of a classic Superman radio story set in the 1940s and focusing on Superman's place as an immigration narrative. And Superman gets to rough up some Klansmen!

Man and Superman by Marv Wolfman and Claudio Castellini: Another story of Superman's early years, this one focusing on his struggles to adapt to life in the big city after moving from Smallville, as well as his first encounters with Lois Lane and Lex Luthor.

Superman: Up in the Sky by Tom King and Andy Kubert: A lovely self-contained story which demonstrates just how far Superman will go to save a single life.

Superman (1939) by Elliot S! Maggin: This mammoth run spans issues 247 to 400 of the classic title, and includes some fantastic stories such as "Must There Be a Superman?" (issue 247), "The Greatest Green Lantern of All" (issue 257), and "The Living Legends of Superman" (issue 400)

Superman (1939), Adventure Comics (1938) and Action Comics (1939) by Mort Weisinger: This run spans a lot of the Silver Age era of Superman, including Action Comics #241-392, Superman #120-231, and Adventure Comics #247-396. It's a lot of issues, but in those days you can mostly read them in any order since they're pretty self-contained. This run includes a lot of classic villains and stories, as well as the earliest adventures of the Legion of Super-Heroes.

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow by Tom King and Bliquis Evely: A spacefaring take on a True Grit-style western with gorgeous art, and a definitive story for the Girl of Steel.

Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen (2019) by Matt Fraction and Steve Liber: a madcap romp and a delightful sendup of Silver Age weirdness.

BATMAN

Batman: The Long Halloween and Batman: Dark Victory by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale: Another Loeb/Sale joint, focusing on Batman's earlier years and the transition of Gotham's underworld from the mob to a coterie of costumed kooks.

Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth by Grant Morrison and Dave McKean: An examination of the facility housing Batman's rogues, and what those rogues symbolize in his world.

Batman (1940) by Dennis O'Neil: This is a classic run which re-established a dark tone for the Dark Knight which has endured to this day. The run spans Batman #224-268, along with a handful of issues of Detective Comics. Among the major developments of this run are the introduction of Ra's al Ghul and his daughter Talia.

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying by Marv Wolfman, George Perez, and Jim Aparo: The definitive story about why Batman needs Robin. Read it in trade since the story spans both the Batman and New Titans titles.

Batman by Grant Morrison: I'm hesitant to include this because it delves so deep into Batman lore, but it really is essential reading, introducing Damian Wayne along with other concepts. Please do disregard Morrison's frankly appalling characterization of Talia. Read in omnibus format as the run spans multiple titles.

Batman: The Killing Joke by Alan Moore and Brian Bolland: It's cliche at this point but the story still is fantastic and one of the best Joker stories ever written.

Batman: No Man's Land: An epic storyline across many titles dealing with Gotham being cut off from the US after a massive earthquake and Batman's efforts to keep the peace in an abandoned city. Read in trade format.

Batman (2011) by Scott Snyder: This run spans issues 1 through 51 of the New 52 relaunch, and introduces concepts such as the Court of Owls. It's a fun run, including a brief period where Jim Gordon acts as Batman.

Batwoman (2011) by J.H. Williams III and W. Hayden Blackman: A gorgeously-illustrated book about Batman's cousin and her adventures as the Batwoman. Worth reading for the art alone.

Nightwing (1996) by Chuck Dixon: Dixon's a tool but this is still the definitive Nightwing run. This run includes volume 1 of Nightwing, a 4-issue mini, as well as issues 1-70 of volume 2, which establishes Dick's home base of Bludhaven as well as his rogues' gallery.

Detective Comics (1937) by Paul Dini: This run spans issues 821 to 852, and features some great stories by one of the great Batman writers and a co-creator of the classic animated series.

Robin (2021) by Joshua Williamson: A great run that helps to flesh out Damian Wayne's place in the DC Universe.

The Boy Wonder by Juni Ba: A great story with gorgeous art that focuses on Damian Wayne and his relationships with the other members of the Batman Family.

Batgirl (2000): The first series to focus on a Batgirl, specifically Cassandra Cain, the best Batgirl, as she struggles to adapt to life after an abusive childhood being raised as an assassin.

WONDER WOMAN

Wonder Woman (2006) by Gail Simone: Simone's run is the longest that a woman has ever written comics' premiere female superhero, and it's just good comic book fun. The run spans issues 14 to 44.

Wonder Woman (1987) by Phil Jimenez: Jimenez's childhood love of Wonder Woman shines through in his run, which placed a renewed focus on Diana's supporting cast and especially her family. The run spans issues 164 to 188.

Wonder Woman (1942) and Sensation Comics (1942) by William Moulton Marston: Wonder Woman's creator laid down the basics of the character and her world, and those early Golden Age stories are still a great read. They're fun, engaging - and more than a little kinky with hindsight.

Wonder Woman (1987) by Greg Rucka: In the early 21st century, Greg Rucka was The Guy for writing female superheroes, and his run on Wonder Woman is great. It features Diana becoming an ambassador, writing a book, fighting Medusa, and matching wits with Veronica Cale, her own Lex Luthor. The run spans 196-226. I must also mention Wonder Woman: The Hiketeia, also by Rucka, which is a Greek tragedy where Diana finds herself torn between duty and justice.

Wonder Woman Historia: The Amazons by Kelly Sue DeConnick: A beautifully-illustrated story of the Amazons and the Greek goddesses, which lays the foundations for Wonder Woman's world.

Wonder Woman (1987) by George Perez: This run reintroduced Diana after Crisis on Infinite Earths, and the first 25 issues feature Perez's simply-unmatched artwork. The whole run spans the first 62 issues of the book, and serves as a blueprint for most subsequent takes on the character.

THE FLASH

Flash Comics (1940) and All-Flash (1941): The Golden Age Flash and his early stories by his creator Gardner Fox. Must-read if you're interested in Jay Garrick, the first Flash.

Showcase #4, 8, and 13, and The Flash (1959): The Silver Age Flash, Barry Allen, made his debut and early adventures here. Much of the art is by the great Carmine Infantino, and Gardner Fox returned to write some stories. The whole concept of the multiverse debuted in this run.

The Flash (1987) by Mark Waid (as well as Grant Morrison and Mark Millar): This run starts in issue 62 and lasts until 162, with a brief run by Grant Morrison and Mark Millar towards the end. This run is the definitive Flash run, focusing on Barry Allen's protege Wally West maturing in the role of the Flash and establishing himself as the true fastest man alive.

The Flash (1987) by Geoff Johns: This run spans issues 164 to 225, and refocuses the Flash's traditional rogues' gallery, offering modern origins for many of them, while also introducing new foes like Girder, Blacksmith, and a new Reverse-Flash.

The Flash (2016) by Joshua Williamson: This run spans issues 1-88, as well as 750 to 762 of the relaunched volume 1 of the book. I hate the recentering of Barry Allen from 2009 to 2019, but Williamson's run is the most tolerable, and serves as a love letter to the Flash, while also setting the stage for Wally to return as the primary holder of the mantle.

The Flash (2023) by Simon Spurrier: The current run of the Flash, it focuses on Wally as the main Flash and the Flash Family as an ensemble. The extended first arc features a threat to time itself, and goes into some really surreal and experimental territory for a Flash book.

Impulse (1995) by Mark Waid, et al.: A more lighthearted and comedic companion book to Waid's run on Flash, this book focuses on Bart Allen, Barry's grandson, who was raised in the future and has the attention span of a goldfish, as well as his relationship with the zen guru of speed, Max Mercury.

GREEN LANTERN

The Green Lantern (2018) by Grant Morrison: A police procedural starring Hal Jordan that gets into some pretty freaky territory, with gorgeous interiors by Liam Sharp.

Green Lanterns (2016) by Sam Humphries: A buddy cop type title focusing on the team of Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz. Humphries' run spans the first 32 issues of the book.

Far Sector by N.K. Jemisin and Jamal Campbell: A murder mystery in space which establishes a new Green Lantern, Jo Mullein. Super easy to get ahold of since it was rereleased as part of DC's Compact Comics line of $9.99 trades.

Green Lantern/Green Arrow (1970) by Dennis O'Neil and Neal Adams: This run brought a social conscience to comics as Green Arrow was reinvented as a left-winger and a man of the 60s counterculture, joining Green Lantern on a quest across America. The run spans issues 76 to 89 of the book.

Green Lantern (1990) by Ron Marz. Marz's run starts in issue 48, and sees the Green Lantern paragon Hal Jordan descend into darkness before being replaced as defender of Earth by Kyle Rayner. The run lasts until issue 125, and as Kyle is my favorite Lantern I have a fondness for it.

Green Lantern (2005) 1-67 and (2011) 0-20 by Geoff Johns: Johns brought Hal Jordan back as the main GL, and his run expanded the world of Green Lantern by introducing the emotional spectrum. His run is the basis for most Green Lantern lore going forward, and is pretty essential reading.

Green Lantern: War Journal by Phillip Kennedy Johnson and Montos: A 12-issue series featuring John Stewart as he ventures into space to fight a dark force corrupting life in the galaxy. The new definitive John Stewart run.

TEAMS AND TEAM-UPS

JLA by Grant Morrison, Mark Waid, Joe Kelly, et al.: This was a back-to-basics approach to the Justice League with a core group of characters. Morrison's run on the book is probably the best, but Waid and Kelly also bring in some good stories.

Justice League of America (2007) by Brad Meltzer and Dwayne McDuffie: Another relaunch of the time, this time with a large roster inspired by the classic 1970s era of the League. Some great stories in this run, including a crossover with the Milestone characters.

JSA (1999) by Geoff Johns, Paul Levitz: The first team in comics was relaunched in the 90s by Geoff Johns, who established the Justice Society as a family first, later bringing in the Marvel Family for some great stories fleshing out Black Adam's character.

Justice Society of America (2007) by Geoff Johns: Johns' second run on the JSA is a continuation of the first, with a focus on legacy and new heroes reclaiming the mantles of Golden Age heroes. Introduces the delightful Maxine Hunkel as the wind-powered Cyclone.

New Teen Titans by Marv Wolfman and George Perez: Lightning in a bottle. This book likely saved DC after the disastrous DC Implosion. The best Titans run of all time, quality of art and writing that has never been recaptured with this team. If you loved the cartoon as a kid you will love this book.

Young Justice by Peter David and Todd Nauck: For all intents and purposes, the Teen Titans for the 90s generation. Funny, heartfelt, with great cartoony art by Nauck.

Doom Patrol (1987) by Grant Morrison, Rachel Pollack: A truly, wonderfully weird tale of the most off-beat superheroes of all, with themes of identity, life, and art woven throughout.

The Terrifics by Jeff Lemire, Gene Luen Yang: At a time when Marvel was treating the Fantastic Four like dirt, DC put out their own version, which captures the wonderous adventure of a Silver Age science fiction book with some great character work from a great core cast. A thoroughly underrated title.

Suicide Squad (1987) by John Ostrander: An often darkly-humorous book about a team of second-string supervillains coerced into doing the government's dirty work. The definitive Suicide Squad run.

Villains United (2005), Secret Six (2006), and Secret Six (2008) by Gail Simone: A group of supervillains forced together by circumstance and find themselves working together as mercenaries. A real found family of freaks type of situation.

Legion of Super-Heroes by Paul Levitz and Keith Giffen: This run spans issues 282 to 313 of the 1980 book, and 1 to 63 of the 1984 book. Includes some of the greatest Legion stories, including the Great Darkness Saga.

Birds of Prey (1999) by Gail Simone: This run covers issues 56 to 108, and focuses on female heroes kicking ass, basically Charlie's Angels with superheroes.

Batman/Superman: World's Finest by Mark Waid and Dan Mora: A team-up book between Batman, Superman, and the DC Universe, set earlier in their careers.

Justice League International (1987) by Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis, and Kevin Maguire: As much a workplace comedy as a superhero book, this is a very different take on the Justice League, from the time when "bwa-ha-ha" ruled the DCU.

THE FOURTH WORLD

The Fourth World Epic by Jack Kirby: Read in omnibus or trade format. The first stories of the Fourth World from the King of Comics, Jack Kirby. The story spans Kirby's run on Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen, The New Gods, The Forever People, and Mister Miracle, and ends in The Hunger Dogs.

Orion (2000) by Walt Simonson: A follow-up to Jack Kirby's epic, this book focuses on Orion, the son of Darkseid, and his quest to vanquish his father once and for all.

Bug! the Adventures of Forager by Lee Allred and Mike Allred: With Mike Allred's striking artwork, this book serves as a love letter to Kirby's time at DC Comics.

Mister Miracle (2017) by Tom King and Mitch Gerads: A slightly-psychedelic take on the Fourth World, focusing on Scott Free and his family with the backdrop of a bloody war unfolding between New Genesis and Apokolips

New Gods (1989) by Mark Evanier: This was a return to form for the New Gods, who hadn't had a lot of new stories to themselves since Kirby left DC, and it's a great read.

AND THE REST

Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters (1987) and Green Arrow (1988) issues 1-80, by Mike Grell: Probably the definitive Green Arrow run. Political, edgy, and mature.

Animal Man (1988) by Grant Morrison: A fun and surreal series of adventures featuring one of the DCU's unsung heroes.

Booster Gold (1986) by Dan Jurgens: A Reagan-era story of a money-obsessed celebrity superhero rediscovering the altruistic spirit of a true hero buried deep within him.

Zatanna: Bring Down the House by Mariko Tamaki and Javier Rodriguez: A quest through the realms of magic as a reluctant witch gets caught in the crossfire of a mystical war.

Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld (1983, 1985, and 1987): For fans of magical girls and sword and sorcery, this is a must-read. A girl from Earth discovers she is the princess of a mystical realm and embarks on a quest to save it.

The Question (1987) by Dennis O'Neil: A grounded, philosophical story of a man trying his best to make things better in a city abandoned to corruption and decay.

Monkey Prince by Gene Luen Yang and Bernard Chang: Drawing on Chinese mythology, this book focuses on an unlikely superhero with connections to the monkey king, Sun Wukong.

Blue Beetle (2006) by John Rogers and Keith Giffen: Giffen leaves after issue 10, but Rogers continues until issue 25, and the rest of the volume is pretty decent as well. It establishes Jaime Reyes as the Blue Beetle, and if the cards had been better he could have easily become DC's answer to Spider-Man. Ah, well. It's always nice when he gets a book, and this is probably the best one.

Galaxy: The Prettiest Star by Jadzia Axelrod and Jess Taylor: a YA graphic novel featuring a transgender alien princess. What's not to like?

Hawkworld (1989 and 1990): A science fiction epic of Thanagar, world of the hawks. A great read on its own, but it unfortunately did a lot of damage to the continuity of the Hawkman family of characters.

Hawkgirl (2023) by Jadzia Axelrod and Amancay Nahuelpan: A fun little miniseries focusing on Kendra Saunders moving to Metropolis and having to deal with the trauma and hardship of her past. Guest starring Galaxy from that other book!

Starman (1994) by James Robinson: A grungy, Gen X book about legacy and what we leave behind, with plenty of hooks for the new reader to investigate regarding the Golden Age superheroes.

The Power of Shazam! by Jerry Ordway: The post-Crisis take on Captain Marvel and the Marvel family. A great read, and the last great run for the classic versions of these characters.

Sandman (1989) by Neil Gaiman. Obligatory Neil Gaiman is a piece of shit out of the way, his Sandman book is a beautiful and at times horrifying read, and its importance as a story manages to outweigh my disdain for its creator.

Swamp Thing (1982) by Alan Moore and Steve Bissette: Moore's run begins in issue 19 and ends in issue 64. This is the definitive Swamp Thing run, which set the standard for all to follow. It's a creepy and often touching story which remains some of Moore's best work in the medium.

[elliesbelle]

hiii love idk if you’re taking requests but if you are, would you be able to do something elliexreader based off of the song wish you were sober or heather by conan gray <3

while i die

chapter 1

pairing: best friend!ellie x reader

synopsis: only if ellie knew how much you loved her. but she likes someone better.

content warnings: modern au, cursing, angst, unrequited love, no comfort

word count: 4.3k

chapters: 1) while i die, 2) rained on with you, 3) eviscerated

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the heartbreak trilogy spotify playlist

based on the conan gray song "heather"

a lot of y’all have asked for a part 2 to this one-shot, so i made a promise that if y’all get my friend’s band “equal creatures” to 350 followers on spotify, you will get a part 2 ♥︎

You roll over in bed towards your nightstand after a restless night of sleep. The first thing you reach for is your phone, which had been blaring for a while to wake you for work. You hit the seductive “snooze” button, not having any actual intentions to fall back asleep but knowing that you’ll stay lying in bed for two more hours if you’re not reminded to get up every eight minutes a few times. 

Unlocking your phone, you check your messages first. Two texts: one from your best friend Beth and another from your close coworker Lina. As you read their respective messages, you feel a black hole beginning to open up in your stomach. 

She still hasn’t texted me back… 

After responding blandly to your friends, you reluctantly open up Instagram and scan the stories of the people you follow. You ignore all that of your friends and instead tap on the one with the picture of a face you’ve memorized like the back of your hand. When it opens, your stomach lurches and your eyes go glassy. 

The first story was posted the night before and is of a tattooed hand holding a bouquet of flowers with a caption that reads, “her faves.” You notice that the flowers are pink camellias. Her new girlfriend’s favourite flowers. Your favourite flowers. 

The next story was that of two hands woven together with a caption that read, “she loved the flowers” right next to them with several heart emojis. One of the interlaced hands was adorned with several silver rings, one of which you recognized very well. You were the one who picked it out and gifted it to her. 

“Dude, what! This looks fucking amazing!” Ellie cried out. 

In her hands, she held a small, velvet blue box with a silver ribbon falling around it, unwrapped. Inside the box, safely cushioned, was a shiny, silver ring. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” You said, excitedly. “Check this out.” 

You picked the ring up from the box, lifting it up to her eye level. Delicately, you twisted what looked like a tiny hinge on the side to reveal that the ring actually contained multiple bands. The outer, exposed brim was decorated with ornate spirals. The next one had Latin engravings that you vaguely recognized as astronomical terms. The innermost hoops were inscribed with the symbols of the Western zodiac. You twisted the hinge back the other way to once more conceal the inner bands and give it the appearance of a singular ring again. 

“Holy fucking shit!” Ellie cussed loudly, dropping the box to clutch at your hands still holding the ring. “How the fuck?!” 

She snatched the ring out of your fingers, twisting the ring open and closed over and over. You giggled at her childlike enthusiasm. 

“So… You like it?” You asked, chuckling. 

“Fuck, yeah! Of course I love it!” She exclaimed. “It looks like a fucking armillary sphere!” 

“I genuinely have no idea what that is or what that means,” You admitted truthfully. “But as long as it makes you happy—” 

“Dude, of course it does!” She said excitedly. “You are the greatest best friend ever. Oh man, I’m never taking this shit off.” 

Ellie tried it out on several fingers and found that it fit best on her left ring finger. You desperately pushed away any and all implications of the positioning. 

“You really know me so well, man,” She sighed, admiring the ring on her hand. “You didn’t have to get this for me! It’s not even my birthday or anything!” 

You shrugged nonchalantly, even if the intentions behind your generosity were anything but nonchalant. 

“I just saw it and thought that you might like it.” 

“Well, you were wrong because I love it.” 

Ellie gave you a huge grin that ignited a wildfire in your stomach. 

“Oh! It’s made of sterling silver too, none of that cheap shit. So it won’t leave you with those gross, green stains or anything.” 

Ellie looked at you completely dumbfounded. 

“I really don’t know what I did to deserve you in my life.” 

You tap uneasily to view Ellie’s following story. The fingers holding your phone grow cold and begin to tremble as your eyes warily take in the face of Ellie’s new girlfriend. 

She was incredibly beautiful, undeniably so. Her eyes sparkled, mirroring the gentleness of a clear, blue sky on a bright, sunny day. She had the face of an angel, the ones you’d see in Renaissance paintings: pure, gentle, exquisite. The genuine, trustworthy look on her face makes it impossible for any sane person to hate her. 

Some part of you still did. But being desperately in love with your best friend meant you weren’t fully sane in the first place. 

You realize that she’s wearing a familiar sweater: Ellie’s favourite grey, polyester hoodie. You of all people knew how incredibly attached to that sweater she was, almost like it was a safety blanket. You couldn’t blame her; it was soft, warm, comforting. She took better care of it than she usually did the rest of her clothes. And it always smelled like Ellie. 

The caption for this picture was, “someone stole my favourite hoodie.” She’d tagged another Instagram account, sunny-heather, and it took everything in you not to click on it. 

Ellie’s girlfriend posed shyly with a bashful smile, throwing up a peace sign. It appeared as if Ellie had caught her mid-giggle. She had a perfect manicure, straight white teeth, dimples on each side of her face. She looked so sweet, nauseatingly so. 

She looked so beautiful wearing that sweater. 

December had just begun and the weather was finally catching up with the season. After a mostly and uncommonly warm month of November, you hadn’t bothered wrapping up earlier that morning before leaving the house. It was to your detriment when around midday, you were hit with gusts of brisk air that brought goosebumps to your bare, uncovered arms. 

Later that afternoon, you and Ellie visited your local Starbucks for both situational and liquid heat. Ellie had taken pity on your shivering form all day and lent you her hoodie, having already been wearing a warm, long-sleeved shirt underneath. You’d initially declined it, but when your body began to reach hypothermic levels, you quickly pulled it over your head and accepted its polyester warmth. 

As you got in line to order, Ellie was teasing you for your poor choice of winter attire. 

“This is why you check the weather before you leave your house, dummy.” 

“It was 62 degrees over the weekend! I didn’t know it was going to be this cold all of a sudden!” 

“Dude, it’s already the third of December. You should have expected it to get cold as shit at some point.” 

“At some point! But not yet, I’m not ready!” 

Ellie playfully rolled her eyes at your sheer stubbornness as the cashier called you forward. You both ordered large hot chocolates, neither of you a huge fan of coffee. You and Ellie played a brief dance of who was going to pay for your drinks. Ellie eventually and quickly won, as she usually did. You conceded and consented to be the one to leave some cash in the tip jar before you both scooted over to the side towards the pick-up counter. You bickered affectionately back and forth until your drinks were eventually placed in front of you. 

You visited this particular Starbucks regularly, partly because of its convenience in distance to both your apartment and your job. But mostly, it was larger than a usual café and spacious enough for several quiet, peaceful corners for patrons to occupy. Ellie’s and your favourite spot was a table on the loft-like second floor where you could look down at other customers and make up stories or pass off harmless, though sometimes needless, judgment. 

As you carefully sipped your hot chocolate, you and Ellie made your way upstairs to your usual, unoccupied table. You made yourself comfortable, sitting across from her. She rolled up her sleeves instinctively, showing off her arm tattoos, including the one of a moth perched on top of several ferns. Of all her tattoos, that one had always been your favourite. 

“So are you planning on wearing my sweater all day or—?” She inquired. 

“What do you mean ‘your’ sweater? This is mine now.” You proclaimed. 

“Hey!” She protested. “Don’t you dare think of stealing my favourite hoodie!” 

“It’s just so comfy!” You giggled. “And it’s so soft and cozy, and you know how much I love polyester.” 

“Thief.” Ellie chuckled. 

You made a show of burrowing into the hoodie in order to claim your clothed territory. Ellie laughed at your goofiness. 

“See, this sweater was made just for me!” You insisted, returning to a regular position. 

“I mean, I will admit that it does look better on you than it does on me.” 

You blinked. 

“Really?” You asked. 

“For sure, dude,” Ellie insisted. “I just look like some boring, basic white dude when I wear it. But I don’t know, you kind of pull it off.” 

“I pull off a plain, grey sweater?” 

“I don’t know what to tell you, man! You just look cute in it!” 

Your cheeks grew so warm that their heat rivaled that of your hot chocolate. 

Before you could properly respond to Ellie’s casual, off-handed compliment, she spoke up once more. 

“We should really come here more often.” She said. 

“Oh, umm,” You began, still reeling from the moment. “Yeah, we should. We don’t go as often as we did back in high school.” 

“Yeah, we really wasted our allowance on so many shitty, dry cake pops.” Ellie recalled. You laughed at the fond memory. 

“Why the sudden interest though?” You asked curiously. 

“I mean, this used to be our ritual, you know? Getting drinks and just hanging out here for hours.” 

“You know, we do that everywhere else already, El.” You smiled, shaking your head. 

“Okay, true, true,” Ellie relented. “Buuuut, did you happen to see the barista that took our orders earlier?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed before looking down towards the ground floor and scanning the front counter. You weren’t quite sure which one of the several baristas had served you, not having paid much attention when you were putting your orders in. 

“Uhh, I guess? I mean, not really.” You admitted. “Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’?” Ellie playfully scoffed in surprise. “You didn’t see that she was hot as fuck?”  

Your stomach dropped at her words. 

“O-oh.” You murmured. “I guess I didn’t notice.” 

“Come on, dude, you have eyes! She was gorgeous!” 

You gulped as you felt your heart plummet towards the floor. 

“Do you think I should ask for her number?” Ellie questioned, completely oblivious to your shift in demeanour as she tried to sneak a peek at the front counter below. 

“Oh, umm, sure, I guess so.” 

“I mean, I don’t wanna come off as a creep. Plus, she might not even be gay.” 

Your fingertips grew colder and colder with each second that passed, despite the way you were grasping your warm cup tightly. You would have been more worried about your drink exploding in your hand if you were much more present in the moment. 

“What am I talking about, she works here. Of course she’s gay.” Ellie chuckled at her own joke. 

You could barely muster enough of your trembling voice to reply, settling for a seemingly agreeable hum. 

“What do you think, dude?” Ellie asked, finally turning back towards you. 

You feigned a smile, succeeding only in giving her a weak, partial one. 

“Go ahead, El. Why not?” 

Ellie’s last Instagram story was what sent a jagged knife through your heart. 

It was a video this time: she had her arm wrapped around her girlfriend, who was still wearing her hoodie. Both wearing wide smiles, they were both snickering about something for a moment or two. 

Then Ellie planted a kiss on her lips. And again. And again. 

As the video ends with their lovey-dovey giggling, your lips let out an involuntary sob. You press your fists onto your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. Head throbbing and gut nauseated, your body trembles from the waves of anguish crashing down on you. 

You stare at the ceiling and consider staying home from work. Nobody would benefit from being around your zombie-like presence. But feeling pathetic about missing work as a consequence to your broken heart, you chastise yourself for the mere thought of it. 

You spend a few minutes composing yourself, pushing every emotion to the back of your brain as forcefully as you can. It seems to last for a lifetime, but you’re able to eventually soothe your tears and take several deep breaths. 

Forcing your lifeless body out of bed, you begin your pre-work morning routine. The streaks on your cheeks from the unfaithful tears previously falling were scrubbed away when you washed your face. Tremoring fingers prepare your breakfast, which you end up mostly throwing out as a result of a queasy stomach. It feels completely futile to continue your day, but Ellie’s world continues to turn. Why shouldn’t yours? 

You’re at work, spacing out as you’d been doing so often recently. Coworkers continue to ask throughout the day if you’re alright, but you merely smile every time and assure them that you’re just tired. That same smile fades once you turn away, a vacant expression taking its place once more. 

Before you came to work, you made the resolve not to check your phone every twenty minutes to see if your previously unread texts were responded to. But as each hour passes, fighting the urge becomes more of a struggle. 

On your lunch break, you relent and finally check your messages. You only have one unread text from your best friend Beth, checking on you. None from Ellie. 

You begin to chew nervously on your lip before switching to your nails when your friend and coworker Lina finds you. She pulls up a chair to sit next to you before tugging your fingers away from your lips. 

“I thought you stopped biting your nails,” She says, frowning. “You were doing so well.” 

“Sorry, Li-Li,” You reply, gingerly pulling your hand back. “I just—” 

“What happened now?” Lina asks knowingly. 

“Nothing,” You sigh. “That’s literally it. Nothing. She hasn’t texted me or called me or anything. She hasn’t even read my messages or even seen my Instagram stories.” 

“Babe…” Lina says sympathetically. 

Your friends have been lovingly chastising you lately for obsessively checking if Ellie had viewed your Instagram or Snapchat stories. You’d unintentionally trained your eyes to scan through your stories’ viewers to spot Ellie’s picture and username. Whenever you wouldn’t spot a picture of the auburn-haired girl among the list, you’d fight the instinctive urge not to break down every time. 

“You can’t be doing that anymore,” Lina continues. “You’re driving yourself crazy.” 

“What am I supposed to do, Lina?” You ask desperately. “It’s the only thing I get from her nowadays, and it’s barely anything.” 

“Exactly, it’s barely anything,” Lina repeats. “I know you love her, but…” 

“I know, Li-Li.” 

“She’s not even being a good friend right now. You deserve better than that.” 

“I really don’t.” 

“Stop that. Yes, you do.” 

“I just want her, Li.” 

“She’s obviously not good for you, honey.” 

Your phone buzzes from your alarm alerting you that your break has ended. You stand up from your chair. 

“I’ll talk to you later, Li-Li.” 

You hadn’t replied to Ellie all day, ignoring her texts asking if you wanted to come over and hang out. 

Ever since that day when Ellie asked out the girl from the coffee shop, she’d been spending immense amounts of her free time with her. The rest was spent with you, talking about her. Ellie hadn’t been much of a talker ever since you were both kids, but now she was endlessly babbling to you about her new girlfriend. 

You’d learned that her name was Heather Sonnen. She was in her final year of college and was attending a university nearby. She was studying to become a veterinarian and had a golden retriever named Sunny. Her favourite colour is purple. She likes to go hiking and kayaking on the weekends when she’s not working. She was very good at kissing and even better in bed. 

Every little detail you learned about her felt like yet another crack on your already broken heart. You spent many sleepless nights bawling alone in your bed, screaming and crying over a pathetic love you could never do anything about. 

It felt so sick, so pitiful that a girl who would never kiss you or touch you or love you took up every corner of your mind. You knew you could never be pretty enough, never amount to Ellie’s idea of a dream girl. And this new beautiful, angelic girl she’d fallen for continued to prove that. 

You would watch the way Ellie’s eyes lit up any time she spoke about her, the goofy grin on her face every time she said her name. You’d seen Ellie through several other relationships, each one treating your heart like a Hans Moretti box. But this time, her glow was brighter and her smiles were wider. You could tell just how far and how hard she’s fallen. 

As you were laying on your bed, your phone buzzed as you received another text from Ellie. You ignored it and closed your eyes, having no desire to hear more about her perfect saint of a girlfriend. After several more minutes passed, your phone began buzzing in succession. You sighed, waited a few moments, and eventually relented to answer it. 

“Hey, Els,” You greeted her. “Sorry, I was napping just now.” 

“Oh, my bad, dude. I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Have you not seen my messages though? I’ve been texting you all day.” Ellie demanded. 

“Oh, sorry, I just haven’t really been on my phone today.” You lied. 

“Bullshit, man, you’re always on that thing.” 

“It’s the truth, Els, I promise.” You lied once more. 

After a second or two as Ellie considered your words, she responded. 

“Alright, well, I was trying to see if you wanted to hang out today.” 

You stopped yourself from audibly sighing. 

“Sorry, I can’t today. Got a lot of shit to catch up on and take care of.” 

“Come on, dude, blow it off. I haven’t seen you all week.” 

“I really can’t, Els, not today.” 

You heard Ellie exhale in frustration on the other end of the line. 

“What’s been with you lately? We’ve barely hung out this month and you take forever to text or call me back nowadays.” 

You began to chew the inside of your cheek. 

“I’ve just… been going through a lot lately. That’s all.” 

“What, and you can’t tell me about it?” 

“N-not really.” 

“Why not? I thought we’re best friends. And don’t say that Beth is your best friend; I 100% had you first.” 

“We are, we are, but—“ 

“If something’s going on with you, I seriously wanna know.” 

“It’s nothing important or specific. Just been struggling mentally and all. Not been having the best time.” 

A moment or two passed where you held your 1breath, hoping she’d buy yet another lie. 

“Okay. I’m sorry you’re going through that right now. Can I do anything for you?” 

“No, it’s okay.” You replied, sighing in relief. “I’ll be okay.” 

“Alright, well, if you change your mind, just let me know.” 

“I will.” You said, knowing you never would. You couldn’t do that to her. 

“I—“ You began nervously. “I’m really sorry about today, Els.” 

“It’s okay, dude.” 

“Maybe tomorrow, if you—“ 

“Ahh, can’t tomorrow, I have plans with my pretty girl.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“Actually, I’ll text Heather in a bit and see if she can hang out right now so we can get a head start on our all-day date tomorrow. I planned out all this romantic ass shit to do.” 

“Ahh.” You replied, voice constrained in pain. Ellie didn’t notice. 

“Oh dude, I didn’t even tell you about this new strap I got for her—“ 

“Hey, Els,” You interrupted, not wishing to hear the rest of her sentence. “I think I hear someone at my door. I’ll call you back in a little bit, okay?” 

“Oh, okay, that’s fine. I’ll be right here.” 

“Right. Bye, Els.” 

“Talk to you soon—“ She was saying as you quickly hung up the phone, unable to further control the sobs that had been threatening to emerge ever since Ellie had said her name. 

You rolled to your side and hugged your legs to your chest, attempting to calm your hyperventilations. There was a ringing in your ears accompanied by Ellie’s words. 

“…my pretty girl.” 

“…planned out all this romantic ass shit…” 

“…this new strap I got for her—“ 

You’d been trying desperately to be a good friend to Ellie for the past month, despite everything. You’d listened and planned and supported, all the things a best friend should do. But the more mesmerized Ellie grew, the more everything within you died. 

You never bothered calling Ellie back that day. 

The drive home from work was mundane and uneventful. An old song sung by Ray Charles about being in love with your best friend plays on the radio. The second bridge is cut off when you turn the key in the ignition and exit your car. 

The steps you take to reach your apartment feel heavy, and it takes everything in you not to collapse where you are. You don’t even bother to take off your shoes when you cross the threshold into the dark entryway. The cushions of your living room couch wheeze sadly as you collapse into them. 

You drop your work bag onto the floor next to you before turning on the TV. Eventually, you choose to put on some basic early 2000s sitcom as easy background noise. It’s something you’ve seen several times before and your mind doesn’t fully process what the plot is or who the characters are or what episode you’re on. 

Your eyes gaze away from the television screen and to a blank space on one of the walls. There’s a spot where the wall’s off-white paint was accidentally streaked off the first week you moved in. Ellie had been helping you hang a picture up, and you were fooling around too much that the ladder you’d been using almost slid down and left a mark. You never bothered covering it up. 

You stare at the mark as if it’d transport you back to that day, back to the mostly carefree moments when pining after your best friend was a mere minor inconvenience. But her love for another and ignorance of your struggle turned that inconvenience into an anguish you were not prepared for. 

That day you fully accepted the feelings you had for Ellie, there was something within that knew instinctively that you could never have her. She was an impossible dream that the universe cruelly created to be untouchable. Deep inside, you knew a long time ago that your plain, boring friendship was just a placeholder for something bigger and more meaningful in her life. And she seems to have finally found that. 

Blinking yourself out of your stupor, you eventually tear your eyes away from the wall. You take your phone out of a pants pocket and open up Instagram. Accepting the feelings of miserable self-pity, you once again scan your stories’ viewers for Ellie’s name. You finally spot it. You let out a sad sigh. 

I guess she at least remembers I exist. 

Orange and purple dance around Ellie’s profile picture before you tap on it. She’d posted a story from a local band she liked and another about a new video game release she was excited about. The last was a selfie of her posing in her bathroom mirror. 

It was an inconsequential picture, just another Ellie thirst trap. She looked handsome in it as she always did. But something catches your eye, and you wish it didn’t. 

On her left ring finger, she was wearing a silver ring. But it wasn’t one you recognized. It wasn’t the silver ring you’d gotten for her. The one she always wore on that finger. 

Maybe the ring accidentally broke. Maybe it got dirty and she has yet to clean it. Maybe she just felt like switching it out for a day. 

Each excuse you come up with seems more and more pathetic. You know there was no point in justifying it, no point in finding reason. You know that Ellie wasn’t overanalyzing it. Not like you are now. 

Your heartbeats are heavy and you suppress the reflex to throw up. You open up your messages and tap on Ellie’s contact, knowing the most rational thing was to simply move on and continue being her friend. But what you find abruptly breaks your heavy heartbeats. 

The text messages you had sent still remained unanswered. But there was a slight change. 

She read my texts… five hours ago… 

Ellie wasn’t always a big texter, always preferring old-school face-to-face interaction. But with you, she had always been the kind of friend to respond right away. Even if just to say she was busy and would respond when she was free, she never left you hanging. 

Your jaw tenses and your vision momentarily becomes blurry. Your bottom lip trembles and you find that you can’t stop hastily bouncing your right knee. Tears form behind your eyes and your cheeks grow feverish, but you’re unable to process or feel anything except the movement in your hands. 

Your shaky fingers lead you to Ellie’s contact in your phone without a second thought. You click “Edit” and delete every piece of information, from her picture to her birthday to her nickname. You save your changes and scroll downwards. You stop sharing your location with her before glancing at those conclusive three words in red right at the bottom. 

Block this caller. 

Without hesitation, you definitively tap the button. 

author's notes:

this was very therapeutic. did this describe something i’ve been going through lately? no why would you think that what gave you that crazy impression ahahaha (shut up no i'm not thinking and pining over my ex, shut up!)

pink camellias because pink camellias represent longing lmaooo, i love symbolism and etc.

the ring reader gave ellie is based on a couple ring i gave to my my ex-girlfriend (the one i live with, not the one i’m in love with)! it’s super cool, i felt like it would be something ellie would wear!

is the part about reader obsessively checking if ellie has viewed their insta stories based on real life? no, why the fuck would you say that

the whole starbucks and hot chocolate thing is a little reference to something in my personal life but i refuse to elaborate further

me once again inserting myself in reader with them always saying they’re tired when someone asks if they’re okay cause news flash, i’m always tired 🙂

reader’s friends’ names beth and lina are inspired by my irl best friend and work bestie’s names :)

ellie’s gf’s last name is purposeful but i again refuse to elaborate further

the ray charles song mentioned is “you don’t know me” but my fave rendition is actually by jann arden from the “my best friend’s wedding” soundtrack (my family’s obsessed with the score of that movie, we had the tape and then the CD of it and played it nonstop growing up)

sorry this took forever to write cause LOL it may have been a little hard cause it was a little TOO autobiographical... hope y'all enjoy anyway lmao

taglist: @elliessknife, @mina-2812, @bellasfavepansexual, @slaysksmska, @theganymedes, @sno-leopards, @cosmikoo, @elliesnumber1gf, @eleactric, @thatgiraffefromtlou, @bellswlw, @kissesforells, @ratdungeon, @elliewilliams8fingers, @wex--12

[finalfrontierpublishing]

So it's been a while since i posted any books - mostly because i've been hiding my progress like a little sneak.

I just finished this bind last night of The Desert Storm by @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning, or really it's volume 1 out of like ??? 15, maybe. Please take whatever i say with a pinch of salt (I have had 0 sleep for more than 24 hours, and that tends to make me a little very sleep-deprivation drunk a.k.a. unhinged). Okay, on to thoughts! The Desert Storm was foisted onto me by @celestial-sphere-press who told me under no uncertain terms that I WOULD FUCKING LOVE THIS SHIT. Well, I did. This more than 1 million word epic about Ben Fuckin' Kenobi is pretty much god-tier fanfiction. It reads like a goddamn novel. I can never think of canon again without thinking that this good shit should be canon. I read it and then consumed half of it within a week, and I have zero regrets. @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning, i absolutely love you and love your writing. It is the best thing since sliced bread. It is better than sliced bread.

I also had the benefit of @celestial-sphere-press saying, hey would you want to use the typeset? MY GOD, i am grateful. I love this fic, i would have typeset it if it hadn't been typeset but Des did such a beautiful job that i am absolutely in awe and thankful that she and the author allowed others to use it. Look at it - it's so beautiful. I only had to think hey, i just gotta design the cover and et cetera and so the book happened.

Please also check out @celestial-sphere-press 's amazing post here and here, who is the only person i know who's started and is almost complete in fanbinding this epic, and is also making an author a copy of the entire series.

Some stats, if you will.

96215 words || 380 pages

Title font: Ghaomiec

I took some inspiration from starblight bindery's lovely desert scape as well as this amazing cover of Dune which i own. I love that the landscape emanates Dune vibes while being oh so Tattooine - just sand and heat, relentless loneliness and melancholy. This fic centres around Obi-Wan Infinite Sadness Kenobi so it needed SAD VIBES TM, which i tried to deliver in desolate landscape form.

Also thank the heavens for Renegade members, who in a masterful stroke of Group Buy Saves Money, managed to source extra-out-of-production colours of Colibri and help a fair number of us get really cool limited edition versions of bookcloth. I am now a proud owner of a lorge stash of Duo and Colibri of which i am now sitting on like a shifty dragon with a hoarding problem. Good luck getting your bookcloth now, Folio Society, ha ha (gloating)! This particular bookcloth is Colibri Copper which has been wholly stashed for The Desert Storm series. I am leaning on transitioning to Malachite for Rise and Fall when I get to it.

The front cover design was done with a stock image and converted to a PNG, which i then fiddled with and did some HTV magic with. It was remarkably easier to weed than expected. I tried something new and ironed the design on the naked bookcloth first before gluing it to the boards, which was a new challenge in making sure everything was aligned.

Endpapers are marbled endpapers (Renato Crepaldi) which I got from Hollanders, which perfectly fit the colour scheme of the bind. The only hiccup was as I was cutting, I realized the sheet was running in the opposite direction of his usual papers and half the size, and only yielded 3 A5 size endpapers and so my heart went noooooooooo. oh well. i guess i will use it for quartos.

Endbands are my favourite - silk in 3 colours in the french doublecore style (as i was binding this i did not have the mental capacity to handle the difficulty of 4 strands). the truth is i usually only can do 4 when I have higher brain function and am willing to spend 80% of my time unraveling it from getting tangled.

I also forgot to mention I had mild fuck-ups, I got glue on the front endpaper which I had to hastily remove with wet cloth, and the back square is preposterously bad but I'm ignoring it for now.

Anyway, i've actually managed to complete a few other binds which have not been mentioned here as they've all been gifts/ surprises or event books in some form. I am SO EXCITED, also because I am travelling in the latter half of July to San Diego and L.A. and I get to meet some bookbinding friends in the flesh. Renegade is fucking amazing y'all. I am ready to embrace these crazy lads who have enabled me for the last 1 year, even when i'm the solitary (1) weirdo from my country of origin in the server. Also... potentially bookbinding trip early next year??? I am enthused.

[osleeplessflowero]

Hi! I saw your post asking for requests, this is my first time asking so sorry if I break a rule just delete if it makes you uncomfortable. Can I get a platonic reader x bad sanses or star sanses? (Or whoever your want I'm not picky) maybe how the reader sees them as a brother or father figure? Thank you in advance!

you're totally fine anon! this is a great request!! :] let's see..i've done quite a few bad sanses oneshots previously, how about we show the star sanses some love? 🌸

CW: Light Emetophobia, Ink is known to throw up when he gets too excited! It only happens once and for a brief second.

It's a peaceful day in the corner of the Doodlesphere that Ink had placed the Star Sanses base in. You sit in your assigned room on your bed, playing one of your favorite games on your laptop. The lights from outside shine in through your window, imitating sunlight. It gives the room a nice, comforting feeling. It's peaceful for a little while, until Ink BURSTS into the room, leaning against the door and holding it shut. You raise a brow in confusion, lowering your headphones.

"Hello Ink." You greet him with a blank look, waiting for him to explain himself. He chuckles sheepishly, jolting when something begins hitting the door.

"Heeey, you! So, funny story.." Another thud. "I kiiinda made Berry mad at me and I need to take shelter here, is that cool?" He holds up his hands as if to pray, pleading with you. You raise your index finger to your chin, contemplating.

"What did you do to Berry to get him this mad? And where's Blue?"

"Blue's in his universe, he left Berry here because they were gonna talk about stuff. And uh..I may or may not have hit him with paint balloons. Bright, neon colored paint balloons."

"Ink, you dumbass-" You sigh, saving your game and closing your laptop. "You know not to provoke the kid."

"Okay, but in my defense, it was insanely funny." He snickers, moving a box of random things you own in front of the door and plopping down on your bed.

"You do realize that won't hold him for long, right?"

"Yeah, but I'll savor my freedom while I still have it. Soooo, what have you been up to? Haven't seen you a lot today." He lies upside down, looking up at you with the goofy grin he always has.

"Well, I was just playing my favorite game and chillin'. At least, up until you broke in." You poke his forehead, earning a chuckle from the skeleton.

"Hmmm..sounds like it would get kinda boring after a while." He rolls over, resting his chin between his hands. "You should come hang out with me, Dream's busy and Blue's gone."

"I mean, I could. But what would we do?"

"We..Huh." He blinks a few times, the small symbols in his eyesockets changing each time as he thinks. "How abouttt.. we go paint the outside of HQ? We could make a masterpiece!" He grins, sitting up with his legs crossed. "C'mon, what do you say?"

"Sounds pretty fun, Ink. But if you throw paint balloons as me as well I might have to kill you."

He laughs, giving you a playful nudge.

"Wait, so does that mean you'll actually join me?"

"Yeah, just let me change first-"

He grins wide, shaking you back and forth excitedly before pausing, running over to the nearest window. You wince as you hear him throw up a bunch of ink, letting it fall into the depths of the sphere before closing the window and leaning back in.

"This is gonna be great! C'mon!" He gently tugs your hand, before the door bursts open. You both freeze like deer in the headlights, looking down at the skeleton approaching.

Berry was a small fellow, much smaller than blue and having an overall cyan color scheme in comparison to Blue's calmer tones. A bandana with a large ribbon behind it is tied around his neck, his eyelights constantly being shaped like stars, where in comparison Blue's only occasionally do the same thing. At the moment, those eyelights have shrunk to mere pinpricks, as he holds up a comically large knife, pointing it in Ink's direction. He hides behind you, as if you were able to defend him. Gee, thanks Ink.

"INK- You Have Dared To Cross Me, And Now You Will PAY!" You can't help but snicker a little at how adorable the little guy looks, covering your mouth with your hand.

"Look, Berry, I said I'm sorry!" Ink struggles to hold in a laugh.

"You'll Be Sorry Alright, WHEN I GET YOU-" He charges forwards, but you interfere, grabbing his head. He struggles against you, swinging his arms to try to get to Ink.

"Now now, Berry, let's just cool it. Ink apologized, let's move on. You wanna come paint with us to make up for it?" You smile as the little skeleton perks up at that, making his blade disappear into his inventory.

"Really?! You Mean It?" He grins wide, his eyelights expanding to a much bigger size.

"Yeah! Right, Ink?" You turn to him, watching him nod before looking back. "Well, it's settled then."

You pause, hearing the sounds of shortcuts, before grinning and running into the living room. Blue and Dream seem to be having a casual conversation before realizing you're there, smiling towards you. Blue promptly runs over, picking you up and spinning you around.

"Ha Ha! I've Returned! Did You Miss Me?" Blue grins before putting you down, putting his hands on his hips.

"You know I did, Blue! How's Paps doing?" You tilt your head, genuinely curious. He chuckles at your reply.

"He's Doing Well! He Wanted Me To Give You A Small Bag Of Suckers That He'd Been Holding Onto, So Here You Go! Try Not To Go Through All Of It At Once, Okay? Sugar Rushes Are.. Scary." He briefly glances over at Berry, narrowing his eyes. You let out a laugh at that, putting the little bag he hands you into one of your pockets.

"Noted." You turn to Dream, who holds his arms out for you. You grin as you leap into his arms, embracing his warmth and the pleasant scents that surround him.

"Oh, I've missed you! How've you been doing while I've been away? Good, I hope? If not I'll have to give Ink a stern talking to." Dream glances at him from the side, earning a laugh from the more colorful skeleton.

"Don't worry, I've been alright. I've just been hanging out in my room, and I just split these two up from a fight." You point towards Berry and Ink, the former putting his knife away the moment he's spotted and smiling innocently.

"Goodness, Berry! What Did I Tell You About Having Knives In HQ?" Blue frowns, walking over and carefully taking the blade away from his shorter "cousin". "You Know Better."

"Sorry, Blue.." Berry pouts, crossing his arms. The taller skeleton pats his skull, smiling a bit.

"Just Be More Careful Next Time! You Don't Want To Hurt Anyone, Do You?"

Berry looks at Ink. "..Maybe."

"Berry! Bad!" Blue frowns again, poking the smaller skeleton's forehead as you finally let go of Ink.

"Me and Ink were just about to go outside and paint, if you'd like to join us. You guys don't have anything else to do today, right?" You offer, silently hoping they'll agree.

"I'd Love To Join In! It Could Be Good Exercise." Blue puts his hands on his hips in a hero-like manner, his cape swaying out behind him.

"I'd like to join, even if I just end up watching. Ooh! I could make some tea for everyone, how does that sound?" Dream smiles as everyone agrees with that idea, stepping into the kitchen to make some magic-based teas for everyone. He made sure to remember your favorite kind in advance.

Everyone moves outside, Ink stopping you a moment so he can use Broomy to paint a grassy area for you all to stand on, grabbing some paint cans he'd left beside the house and walking over to the first blank wall.

"Okay everybody, let's get started!" Ink grins, handing a smaller brush to you. You pause a second, realizing that due to getting caught up in your excitement you forgot to change into something you're okay with getting paint on.

"Wait a sec, I'll be right back." You run back inside to your room, changing hurriedly before rushing back outside. Ink paints a few step stools using Broomy so those who can't reach taller areas can use them, balancing on the large brush to paint patterns with smaller ones.

Berry jumps up onto Blue's shoulders, standing up on them so he can reach the upper areas thanks to the bigger skeleton's height. Blue doesn't seem to mind it all that much, instead focusing on what to paint outside of his room. Dream walks out and places down a yellow gingham blanket, then goes back inside to sit the teacups down where everyone can easily access them.

You stand outside your room, beginning to paint whatever comes into your head that relates to you somehow. You want to ensure that the space feels truly yours, so you put a lot of thought and care into each stroke. Of course, you could always just repaint later, but it's the thought that counts. Berry eventually runs out of ideas and goes to talk to Dream, so Blue takes the opportunity to paint a little bit beside you.

"So, how's adventuring been, Blue? Is it..everything you'd hoped?" You paint a little star pattern. He hums thoughtfully, completing a heart you'd forgotten to finish.

"I Suppose You Could Say That! It's Given Me A Lot Of Opportunities To Meet New People And Experience Other Worlds. But That Can Also Be Kinda Stressful..Especially When You Start Running Into Variations Of You That Are..Well.."

You both look over at Berry, who's currently zooming around a very confused and startled Dream in circles.

"Yeah..I don't know how I'd feel about seeing so many of Me. I mean, the three of you guys alone is a stretch. Imagine if all of the variants were in one place?"

"That Would Be Very Much So Impossible- Which Really Makes You Think..Just How Big Is The Multiverse? What Parts Of It Are So Closed Off, Even Ink Hasn't Seen Them? It's All So..So.."

"Mysterious?"

"Yeah! Exactly." He smiles at a little cutesy painting you made of him right below his window, looking as if he's holding it up. "But I Suppose That's How It's Always Been."

"I feel that. It makes me wonder if we've ever met before, in some other timeline. You think things would be much different?"

There's a short pause.

"Nah, I Don't Think It Would." He smiles, you share it. You continue painting side by side in peaceful silence, until you hear the sound of something splattering. Sharing a worried look, you turn back to see Dream looking down at the ground, a green paint balloon having hit his head. Ink is frozen like a deer in the headlights, and Berry is laughing hysterically.

"I- I am so sorry, Dream, I meant to hit him, not you--"

Dream looks up, an eyesocket twitching as he picks up one of the balloons Ink had left lying on the ground, throwing it and hitting him square in the face. Berry collapses, laughing even louder.

"Oh Dear, It Seems Ink's Declared War." Blue chuckles, laughing a little as he speaks, watching them begin to form more paint balloons to throw at each other. A devious grin crosses your face as you look back at him. His expression slowly shifts to a worried one. "Oh No. Don't- Do Not Even Think About It-"

"I'm joining in!" You pick up a balloon.

"Pick your side!" Ink grins, getting hit in the side of the head with a red balloon.

You shake your head. "Nah..I'm taking my own side!" You throw balloons at the both of them, before getting pelleted with them yourself. Blue huffs as he watches you, before going still when he feels a presence behind him.

"Nothing Personnel, Double." Berry grins, throwing a cyan balloon at Blue's back.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN PHRASE IT RIGHT-" Blue sighs, joining in the battle. Paint balloons fly across the yard, splatting the walls as well as everyone laughs, having a great time. The commotion grows so great, even Error finds himself popping his head in from the Anti-Void, before closing up the portal to avoid a balloon to the face.

After a while, you each grow tired, huffing and raising up little white flags before drinking the tea that Dream brought out (that thankfully is somehow still warm, and paintless). You then turn to the walls, seeing a beautiful mess of color accompanying your art from earlier, smiling a bit at your collective handiwork.

"Y'know, I think it looks good like this." You hold up your hands like a camera, smiling.

"I think so too! Hey, you know what would fit?" Ink turns to Dream, seeing if he'll catch on.

"Oh! A picture!" Dream rushes to his room, grabbing his camera and running back out. Everyone stands in front of the wall together, grinning and posing. "Say cheeeese!"

"Cheeeese!"

Getting to spend so much time with the skeletons you both look up to and admire is an experience you wouldn't trade for anything in the multiverse. Anything at all.

"IIIII say..on this momentous occasion, we should all watch a movie. First one to fall asleep gets their face drawn on!" Ink holds up a washable marker menacingly.

"I've got coffee, you won't be getting me anytime soon." Dream grins, going inside to clean off the paint and change his clothes to wash them later. Blue follows after him to do the same.

"It'll probably be you first, Ink." You snicker, using a towel to get some fresh paint off of your face. He calls out after you as you start to head to the bathroom attached to your room. "NUH UH!"

"YUH HUH!" You shout back, going to take a warm shower to get all of the paint off of you.

An hour or two passes, and you find yourself building a strong pillow fort with Blue and Berry. Dream sits to your left, Blue to your right with Berry leaning on him, already looking pretty tuckered out. Ink observes everyone from his spot in front, eagerly waiting for the moment someone falls asleep.

Dream whispers to you as Blue looks through a selection of movies for you to watch together. "Did you have fun?"

You whisper back. "Yeah, I've had a lot of fun with you guys today. I love having peaceful moments like this..it's really nice. I really have to thank you guys for taking such good care of me lately..it means the world to me." You lean on him a bit, and he smiles as he places an arm around you.

"Of course. You're a very dear friend to us, never forget that we care for you. We'll always be here for you, no matter the circumstances."

You yawn a little, the comforting aura emitting from him making you feel safe enough to rest. "Thank you, Dream.."

"Careful." Ink grins like a cheshire cat, watching as your eyes begin to close. "There's still an active threat in the room." He says in a sing-song tone, waiting to attack.

"I'm gonna fucking Get You later."

"I'd like to see you tr-" Ink pauses mid-sentence when he sees that Berry's fallen asleep, grinning madly. "Well. Looks like you'll be spared after all."

"Oh boy." You snicker, the rest of your little group grinning amongst themselves as the movie begins. Ink claps his hands so the lights dim, sitting closer to you and relaxing on some pillows, giving commentary from time to time. Soon your eyes begin to close..those around you growing tired as well from a long day of adventuring.

It's peaceful for a while.. the perfect environment to relax.

..Until a portal opens.

"IIIIINK!"

"Ah fuck."

"Language!" Blue frowns as Ink stands up to go outside. Blue considers carrying your sleeping form to your room like he always does, but decides not to since Dream's already asleep with you. He'd rather not disturb you both, at least not until he needs Dream's aid..

Oh boy.

[three--rings]

Started writing this last

I spent the six months before and the nine months after the 2016 election doing extensive activism, online like 16 hours a day compiling actions and protests and coordinating people.

And then I burned out hard, and quit, sick of everyone and everything in the left-leaning political sphere. Absolutely sick to death of the endless handwringing about which actions were actually good and which were problematic or ineffective and infighting over priorities and virtue signaling.

And I found refuge in Yuri on Ice fandom, which is when I started writing fic again for almost the first time in a decade.

And I look at the future here and I'm just so tired. Too tired to do that again. The world is so much worse now. Discourse is so much worse now. Politics has gone rancid. I'm too old, tired, and disabled to fight. And mostly I don't have hope like I used to.

I just feel like the most I can manage now is to maintain my own desire to keep living. I mean it's already the most I can do to keep us fed and our bills paid. I have a business I need to put more work on to bring in money cause see the cost of everything. I need to work on building strength so I can properly walk again.

You know? But I feel like I'm failing.

I'm already so, so tired of seeing posts about giving money to various (worthy!) charities as a way to do something, when I can't make it from paycheck to paycheck these days and cannot spare anything.

And I don't have transportation anywhere because I have a car that's needed repairs for almost a year now that I can't afford so I can't go and do anything. And yanno, it's gonna get WORSE for a long time before it gets better, now.

And I'm so tired of being so helpless and tired and I'm just that "man loses last little bit of hope he didn't even know he still had" meme. I didn't realize I had some optimism about my countrymen left but apparently I really did.

And I'm so so jealous of everyone I know in blue states. Who feel some comfort in where they are. I don't have any representatives to call! They hate me! They actively wish suffering on me and wish I would die! My neighbors are thrilled right now! My doctors will be celebrating again while I struggle to afford my care and I'll grimace and try to smile so I can continue living.

I don't know, I'm just...talking.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

I'm feeling everything most of you are feeling. And also this: I will help where I can but I am not letting that rapist sack of shit steal my joy for, at minimum, the next four years of my life. That would bring me to nearly 50 years old. I can't let those years go, sacrifice them to fear. Life goes too fast. I'll keep an eye on things but I am not going to guzzle doom from my newsfeed every day and jump out of my skin every time he makes a move. He won't get that from me.

You all know where my heart is and that I'm against everything he stands for and to some extent I will have to react to what's coming, which will be bad. But I am not letting these robber-baron motherfuckers set the terms for how I feel every day in a world of sunsets, donkeys, horses, music, poetry, dogs, rivers, and mystery. Will that be easy? No. Are there people for whom it will be even harder? Yes, for sure. I'm a straight male in a blue state, for God's sake. But I nonetheless urge everyone not to invite him into your soul.

He has no place there; you have primacy. The world spins, rudderless, on rough seas; you can't steer it and you don't own it. Your body belongs to the earth that will claim it and can be hurt or killed. Your soul is yours and is utterly sacrosanct and autonomous and beyond the reach of rulers. It is a locked room and the key is yours. Guard it zealously.

I tried my hand at being a political commentator on here for a while and it brought me a lot of attention, but no joy. And I didn't relish the pressure. I have no wisdom or advice except to focus on the things within your sphere of control: try to be a good person and act with honor and integrity. You'll fail often - probably not as often as myself. But it'll keep you from being like him and his people, these spiritually barren carcasses bereft of wonder, curiosity or love. Relentlessly pursue your passions, have fun wherever you can, protect the vulnerable, be generous, don't take yourself too seriously, be a believer, not an ironist or a cynic. Offer the political resistance you believe is appropriate, but above all don't let this age into your soul.

A week ago I posted a poem by Tony Hoagland little realizing how it would resonate today. It concludes:

... my happiness would kill them so I shove joy like a knife into my own heart over and over

and I force myself toward pleasure, and I love this November life where I run like a train deeper and deeper

(Will Stenberg)

[justjasper]

Creation of the Pan Flag

Copied (with grammar/spelling mistakes) from my twitter thread about it for posterity.

I was going to do this for Pride weekend but you know, life, so: I wanted to talk about a thing. I created the #pansexual flag, a thread.

Back in 2010, I was 20 and tumblr was my main social playground. I was active in various spheres, and I was learning.

I'd been IDing as bi since I was 13, but moved away from bi as an identifier and took up pansexual soon after discovering the term, bc I felt it fit better.

This is mainly bc the simplicity of pan being defined as attraction to any/all genders was extremely appealing to someone really coming into this new way of expressing their orientation like tumblr allowed. It felt right for how I wanted to relate to and express my orientation.

The bi communities I had access too often saw heavy discussion related to attraction parametres of "bi" - convos at the time I didn't really recognise for what they were: bi people working hard to define bisexuality on their terms, tackling intra-community transphobia, (cont)

(cont) and developing within a social space where more expansive gender experiences and identities were becomes more well known and understood.

My switch of labels was about finding something that felt truly right for me, but it would be dishonest to pretend the decision wasn't impacted by the politics and "discourse" I was involved in at the time.

There was no popular pan flag, and the offerings were frankly... ugly. To me. Various shades of purple, P letters, P symbols incorporating gender symbols, infinity symbols. They didn't feel consistent with the other pride flags.

So on a whim, I decided to design one. I designed it to be pretty, honestly. That was a primary function of it, to have s/t I liked to represent my identity. No point pretending I was trying to be super innovative and deep: I wanted something pretty to plaster on my blog.

Pink, yellow, blue. A strong magenta, a strong gold yellow, and a light cerulean. The pink not too purple, the yellow not too bright, the blue not too cyan. Hex FF1B8D, FFD900, 1BB2FF.

Pink and blue, because of their gendered traditions, and yellow, a generally non-gendered colour, to represent nonbinary folks etc.

I created it anonymously, on a side blog away from my main handle. I was already running LGBTLaughs which was proving very popular in tumblr and didn't want to monopolise queer blog space, I suppose.

I didn't expect it to take off. It proved popular on tumblr, and for a few years the flag kept getting added to the Wikipedia 'pansexual' page and then removed. Eventually it snowballed and ended up in use well beyond tumblr.

As I've got older I've realised a lot of people would be interested in knowing this part of modern queer history, and more about modern flag creation in general, and that it's worth documenting. Not for credit so much as for posterity.

So, that's that. The first time I saw a pansexual flag in real life at my city's Pride parade I may have had a little cry.

Twitter Drama

Best viewed on the original twitter thread, for the full documentation (I may update this with fuller documentation down the line) but here's a rundown of drama surrounding the flag.

First, to set the stage:

posted about designing the pan flag

said i was cool with bi/pan lesbians

said i was cool with kink at pride

Thus followed, in varying intensity 2020-2022:

misgendering

suicide bait

general harassment/pile-on

"called out" on r/pansexuals

blasted on sapphics for satan (fb)

now sworn enemy of of lesbian kpop avi twitter

claims the original pan flag was transphobic in meaning

multiple "new" pan flags designed to displace the one i designed

claims i stole the flag from a medieval indian kingdom, and subsequent vandalisation of wikipedia for the actual state of kerala

vandalisation of the wiki page for the pan flag, resulting in it having to be locked

[the-irken-luxray]

Hellooo because I forgot about the whiteboard until like midnight of the expiration date I didn’t get the chance to gather final screenshots so many of people’s additions didn’t make the final post. These are all the most recent versions of the drawings I could find (and in some cases I had to edit them together)

Featuring additions from @/kursed-curtain, @/flowerbarrel-art, and numerous others (feel free to brag in the notes if you see yourselves!)

[ID 1: a bust of Jenny Coffield, a stick figure oc with short, wavy hair, a top hat adorned with multiple spheres, and a burn scar on her head, showing off a “top bomb”, a top hat shaped object with a fuse sticking out the top. Tagline text reads “it explodes in the shape of a top hat”. Around the bomb are golden sparkles and captions reading “SO COOL!”, “WOW!”, and “FUN SHAPE!!”. Below the bomb is a diagram comparing a standard cartoon bomb, captioned in red with “LAME” and an X mark, with the top bomb, captioned in green with “COOL”. To the left of Jenny is three Toppats sitting around a meeting table. Two Toppats look impressed, one saying “wow!” and the other saying “We should use that”. The third Toppat looks annoyed and says “This is a stupid meeting.” End ID]

This one is probably my fav out of the bunch, just for the collaboration aspect.

[ID 2: a full body doodle of Reginald Copperbottom grinning evilly while holding a gun. Blue text reads “autism be damned my boy can kill”. A small doodle of someone’s Toppat sona or OC fawns over Reginald with multiple floating hearts. They have a bullet behind them with a red trail mark, as though they were shot with Reginald’s gun. Adjacent is a generic stick figure who is getting shot in the head. Text pointing to the stick figure reads “the cringe”. Yellow writing reads “ding dong the wicked cringe is dead”. End ID.]

At least one Reginald is mandatory. People got silly with this one.

[ID 3: a mouthless stick figure looks confused and mildly uncomfortable while looking at the viewer. Text next to them reads “my darling”, “precious blorbo”, and “beloved”. Below the text is a blob with eyes and no mouth in a happy expression, with writing reading “blorbo!” The stick figure is holding up a sign that says “I am literally just text????” End ID.]

Okay yeah you should know who this is by now

Gave them a Wile E. Coyote type sign because it fits the whole “no mouth can’t speak” type thing they’ve got going on.

[ID 4: a doodle of Jenny’s head with text reading “Your Toppat weapon ideas HERE!” Below is a drawing of Pike Cassino, a stick figure with a top hat decorated with slot machine wheels and horns, a gold tooth, and whiskery facial hair. a speech bubble pointing to him reads “Maybe a gun that doesn’t blast me back when I fire it…” Below the prompt text is a doodle of a glittering, gold cannon labeled “solid gold cannon”. Next to it is Jenny looking annoyed with a thought bubble reading “At least I’m paid well”. End ID.]

There were a LOT more additions to this prompt than I ended up grabbing, but with how spread out they were, there would be an additional five screenshots or so just to get them all.

[ID 5: a bust of Jenny waving an aromantic flag with a caption reading “aro gang”. Next to her is a drawing of a character labeled Harley, who has a heart shaped top hat and bangs, with a Toppat clan logo on their jacket and a paw on their hand. Harley waves to Jenny and is captioned with “aro gang!” End ID.]

Another that is sadly a lot smaller than its final version. The aro gang used to be bigger.

[ID 6: 3 images of a doodle of Ellie Rose. First image is of a head shot of Ellie. Second image is text reading “world’s smallest Ellie” with an arrow pointing to an indistinguishable doodle. Third image is the previous doodle zoomed in to show a very small head shot of Ellie, approximately the size of the tip of the arrow. End ID.]

World’s smallest Ellie.

[ID 7: A whiteboardfox drawing with a thick border around it, as though it’s an external image that’s been copy-pasted. The drawing is of Burt Curtis, a stick figure with headphones and a top hat, stylized. Here he has messy, wavy, short hair and highlights in his eyes. He’s reading a magazine titled “#3 ACTion”. To the left is a frog-with-glasses icon with text reading “gotta get sillier with my art”.

To the right of the copy-pasted drawing is a frog with glasses on his hands and knees, with the glasses lenses opaque to hide his eyes. Text below reads “just found out my drawing didn’t save can’t have shit on whiteboard”. End ID.]

Yeah so I was… struggling with this one. The frog in the top left was originally a thing I tried to add to ALL my additions up make them easier to find. But because of WiFi issues, not only did none of them save, but half my Burt drawing was gone too. Fortunately, because I was already struggling bad with it, I had the foresight to screenshot the drawing once I was done with it.

[ID 8: a doodle of Reginald Copperbottom with his hands on his hips while smoking a giant blunt. To the right is a drawing of Reginald in the family guy death pose with a caption above reading “bad at smokign” [sic]. Below the whole thing is text in parentheses reading “(whiteboard if you’re gonna react my art please for the love of god let it be this one)”. End ID.]

Drawn immediately after the previous one. No further context needed.

[bekkathyst]

BEKKATHYST Autumn 2023 Giveaway!

~This giveaway is in no way affiliated with Tumblr.~

Please read thoroughly before entering!

Hello lovely Tumblr folk! It’s that time again- I have a giveaway for you all. 💜

We have an online store that could use your support!

You can also find us on Instagram.

About us: My business is a small, family-run establishment that I started here on Tumblr in 2013. I’ve been lucky enough to grow to the point where this supports me, my partner, and our daughter. In the US we also had a brick-and-mortar shop in which I employed my mom and a few of my siblings. However, we closed it to be able to move to Austria, my home country! 💜 I strive to put compassion and ethics above all else in my business, and I hope that shines through. We have a website but also run many fun sales directly here on Tumblr!

This giveaway will have two winners.

What the first winner receives:

All the pictured crystals, plus a $100 gift card that can be used for our online store or our Tumblr sales. Pictured crystals: rose quartz freeform, nellite sphere with stand, kambaba jasper sphere with stand, purple labradorite freeform, silver moonstone freeform, polished chevron amethyst, thullite sphere, lizardite sphere, Mongolian black quartz crystal, amethyst rainbow amethyst druzy cut base, blue labradorite pebble, and a polished amethyst point. I wanted to pick some more unique stones for this giveaway!

What the second winner receives:

A $50 gift card that can be used for our online store or Tumblr sales!

Rules:

You must be 16 or older. (If under 18 you MUST have parent’s permission)

You can be from anywhere in the world! I am shipping from Austria.

Shipping is entirely free, I will cover it. But if you live in a country that charges import tax on gifts, you are responsible for it. If it gets sent back to me, you will need to pay shipping to have it sent again.

You must be following me, so you can get updates if anything about the giveaway changes.

Please check out our online shop!

Reblog this post to enter. Likes count as additional entries. No giveaway or spam blogs. If you reblog on a side blog, let me know in the tags what the name of your blog is that you’re following me with.

At the end, each entry will be assigned a number and the winner will be chosen by a random number generator.

The giveaway ends on December 20th, 2023.

The winners will be messaged and must respond with their full name and address within 24 hours, or a new winner will be chosen.

Please respect me and my rules, and have fun!

[loptrcoptr]

It’s come to my attention that a lot of people in the BES fandom are new to fandom-culture in general (or lack there of; we denizens of tumblr are residents of a cesspool) and don’t know a lot of general old school online manners, laid down in Days of Yore by earlier generations. So let me bring up a crucial one that is generally being ignored on tumblr in the BES-sphere: ship tagging!

I am not doing this to condescend, I genuinely want to be helpful and to help us all enjoy our enclosure and our enrichment in said enclosure together. I think a lot of grief going around the blue eye samurai world on social media could be solved if everyone remembered one good old cardinal rule of fandom bullshit:

you do not put ship wank in a ship’s general tag.

let me say that one more time in different terms:

If you want to rant about how much you hate a ship, general practice has always been, on tumblr anyway, not to do so in the safe space created for said ship.

once again, lemme be very clear; I don’t give one rat’s ass or 800 collective asses of rats what you ship, why you ship it, whether you ship anything at all, why you hate x y z, etc. That’s great, that’s what fandom is for! Enjoy yourself! The issue is that there’s all this infighting fuckery going on that is exhausting to even watch from the sidelines, and I think there’s a lot of confusion as to why anyone is fighting over any of this shit at all as it is 2024 and ship wars are 2011 superwholock garbage that we all collectively agreed to jettison into space by 2015, ya feel me?

(and if you like to start shit and throw hands then obv this post isn’t for you as you know what you’re doing, this is for the folks who don’t know and are confused as to why they can’t rant without blowback)

So if you’ve gotten on tumblr recently and noticed your anti-ship post blowing up for some reason or other and asked yourself “Jesus why are these assholes from that ship always coming for me?? They’re such dicks!!” ask yourself:

did I tag them in my post?

Because when you tag a ship in a post about how much you hate it, it’s not a beacon that says “Hear Ye Hear Ye, Interacteth Not Ye Fuckos From Ship I Hate, This Is About How Much I Hate Your Ship”. For that to be the case, you would need old-school anti-ship tag nomenclature, like this: #anti-[shipname] or #[shipname] wank. Those tags would communicate your intent to rant, which is your sacred fandom right to enjoy doing! It is not, however, your sacred fandom right to enjoy doing it in the wrong space, that’s what’s happening here. A post that tags a ship with its normal tag, but whose content is anti/wank content about said ship, sends the signal: “ayyooo, who would like to debate this with me?”

So, does all that make sense? If you tag your post analyzing all the reasons why you think a ship sucks with #ship, you are encouraging everyone who ships that ship to interact with your post. It’s like rocking up to somebody’s house, ringing the doorbell, and saying “I hate your fugly ass piece of shit house, asshole” and then getting irritated when the homeowner responds with “who the fuck are you, get off my lawn?!”

#anti-[shipname], #[shipname] hate (forgot about that one, also useful), and #[shipname] wank do two very useful things:

1) They let other people who want to gleefully rant with you know that you’re on the level and they give like minded individuals a chance to follow those tags so you can have more rant sessions together, and

2) they minimize likelihood of involvement by the shippers you’re ranting about, who can block the tag, while keeping the ship’s normal tag open for the people who enjoy it

tldr; *swordfather voice* it would be bitchin if people could stop bitchin in the wrong places so that we can all coexist like adults here, touch some grass, and chill. Tag ship hate #anti-[shipname], #[shipname] wank, or #[shipname]-hate and keep it out of the general pro-ship tags :)

if your response to this is “don’t tell me what to do, cuntwaffle” or “I have an unhealthy relationship with the idea of shipping and think no one should have a safe environment to enjoy media except me and people I agree with so I will continue to poison the waters” then ok, cool beans, keep on chooglin’; but know that everytime you walk into a tea party you weren’t invited to and yell I HATE YOUR FUCKING TEA YOUR TEA SUCKS ASS blowback is a bit inevitable

[doodlebethel]

Hello! I love your Loth cat designs! And wanted to make my own since Disney hasn’t renewed its loth/Tooka cat products and are sold out (Plus I like your designs waaaay better). My biggest issue is figuring out how to made the head of your cute Loth cats 😅 I’m not on and unable to get onto Instagram could you post the story on how you designed it on here or give me some tips on how to make one? -thank you so much :)

Also, I’m designing the pattern of this one after a cheetah, I also love how you did the striped tail so I’m going to do that with black and white longer fur at the end. (I’ll need to trim it some though.) but any tips you could give would be much appreciated! 😄

Hi there! Thank you for reaching out, I will post roughly how I made the heads. However it's all the same techniques of making an art doll. There are great youtube tutorials out there which I watched to learn how to make my loth cats.

Long Post! Also heads up, they look really creepy until you put fur on them!

I used a styrofoam base for the head to keep it really light, loth cats have huge heads so it's important to keep the head light on the doll so it doesn't fall on it's face right away. Craft stores usually sell half spheres that I carved down to more of an oval shape to start.

I bought resin eyes on etsy and glued them on with hot glue. There are so many color options so have fun with them! I then used foam clay to add more shape to the face and make the eyes more natural looking. You can also probably use paper mache or another light air drying clay. But again keep the weight in mind.

I never worry about adding too many details as it will all be covered by faux fur, but having those shapes helps it look more realistic.

Next you enter what I call the creepy monkey phase. I usually paint the face a natural skin tone or the color of the fur so you can't see any gray.

I then attach the head to the body fur using glue. Next I cover the face in masking tape and draw the fur patterns I want onto it. This is a common fursuit head making technique. I recommend looking that up for more details on how to do that, but the photo below shows the steps I did.

*Note! Pay attention to the fur direction, on my tape pattern you can see the arrows showing which way the fur lays, use real animals as reference.

I then glued it on the face using fabric glue or hot glue. The more you cover at this point the less you have to flock later.

Once you have most of the face covered, you can cover any little gaps using a flocking technique. Basically laying down a layer of glue and then taking very short hairs of faux fur and pressing it into the glue. Again there are some great youtube tutorials on how to do it if you google "flocking art doll".

Below is my first loth cat showing how weird it looks. Trust the process! It will look silly and kinda bad right until the end.

Trim up any extra hairs that get in the way of the face, and next comes my favorite part, making them look like loth cats and not nightmare creatures!

I use sharpie fabric markers for the blacks and go around the eyes and mouth. This give them instant personality. You can also use some paints to add extra markings and color.

For the tail. I don't have any photos of the tail specifically, but here is the pieces of the pattern for the blue cat. The tail is basically just a rounded tube!

Good luck with your build! I would love to see the final project!