#the post i just reblogged is like kind of like this as well

[incorrect-rangers-quotes]

okay i got 20 tags in on a reblog of this before i thought i might as well bite the bullet and just write normal hahah. there are so many angles to look from here that i want to find and think about this later :)

someone in the tags said "he's calm when he wants to be" and i think that's pretty well-phrased. i personally would put it like this - halt is very level-headed when it comes to things like danger and combat and strategy, because when you do as much Danger and Combat and Strategy as rangers do, it's either you develop that, or you & the lads Get Deaded. i think that's mostly what's being referred to when he's described as calm and in control. he's a great presence to have when you're going into fight or flight because in terms of personal danger he hasn't panicked once in his life (exaggeration) and gets actively mad when someone's worried about him (not an exaggeration) LMAO. an anger outburst will rarely win you a fight.

op alluded to it already, but, you can also certainly have different amounts of patience when it comes to different things. halt especially, i think, is more prone to answering violence with violence no matter if it's proportionate or not than, i dunno, will? older crowley? pauline? diplomats are a far more emotionally adept authority i feel like. LOL. either way, yeah, sure, he can be patient, even in situations where he might deck someone otherwise, but i think to sympathize and thus be patient with you he's got to understand/relate to you. and obviously he's more likely to do that if he actively gives a shit about you, which he doesn't for most, so. Violent Tendencies.

i'll be honest my kneejerk reaction to the post was to joke about the fact that There Be Men Like That Sometimes, but really you can think about it that way! some of these things - corporal punishment, reacting to disrespect with violence, etc etc - aren't necessarily "i'm mad and not thinking about what i'm doing", they're just his normal responses that aren't always expressed angrily at all. it's just what he - read, people - do. it's what isn't necessarily universally accepted, but it is accepted by him and arguably the people around him.

to add; how much do you reckon there can be violence without anger? i don't think some of these were him running out of patience necessarily, or getting angry with Homicidal Flavour. i think halt is absolutely capable of looking at a situation, assessing it with a fairly neutral line of thought, and deciding that violence should be the answer. it's not a reaction, it's a response, if that makes sense. of course that doesn't mean he doesn't get angry, i'm sure he does plenty, but i feel like little of it is Uncontrolled violence. it's what he sees as Deserved violence, and let's admit there's seldom any punishment in it for him. iirc even his arguably Biggest L - the whole banishment thing, which was also exactly what he wanted out of the situation mind - wasn't over the threat of violence which was very much there, it was over calling duncan a daft wee piss cunt or whatever and it's illegal to be mean to the king. tragic.

and of course you, reading, can see the violence as uncalled for, or you can see the times he uses it as him being cruel. if that's your interpretation, then there's really not much going against it. i mean, it's my interpretation too, lmao. i think halt is a largely a hard and unpleasant man. it's just that we're seeing him from the perspectives of the people that mostly like him, so we get to see all the moments when he's patient, or kind, or loyal too. which makes for an overall rather nice character, if you're willing to get your hands a little dirty.

and, you know, childrens' literature and all. our faves can do a little prisoner slavery i guess. why not.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, but it's so fucking funny to me how Halt is the guy that everyone is like "yeah he can stay calm, he's always in control and has great patience when it comes to certain things, he's has great control over his emotions" but at the same time that guy has has bet up more than one teenage apprentice in the span of two books, thrown two guys out a window in the span of one book, made Will sleep outside in the cold, not even in the ground but in a fucking tree for singing a song and having a bit of whimsy in his life, threw a guy off his horse by putting his bowstring around his neck, knocking him out (and then wanted to punch him again when he woke up) for being a bit of a dick, and at one point in The Emporer of Nihon-Ja, Will was sure Halt was gonna deck a dude or something along those lines for knocking his hood back off his face. And thats just the stuff actually in the books, there's probably way more we don't know about.

I'm trying to think of any more shit he's done now.

It's just funny how he can apparently be the most calm and in control man but also get super easily pissed off and ready to kill in an instant at the same time.

[skythealmighty]

haha i love when i struggle with multiple hyperfixations at once. i am a coward for not making a crossover between allnof them but like. worldbuilding hard stfu

#rocket talk #the hyperfixes: #tmnt #inanimate insanity #bfdi #dsmp #the last one mostly spurred on by the stupid shit dreams doing #love clowning on that fool

(0 notes)

🤍 notalwayssecondplace Follow

i love how people are reblogging gi's hit post like it isnt a sign of his crippling inability to deal with change or to come to terms with his own self

anyway on other news i have a bunch of ideas for a new d&d campaign!

#i love my cousin but he really really needs therapy #like REALLY really

(12 notes)

🔧 warp-pipe-sfx Follow

I just realized... why do we call it "humanity"? Shouldn't it be "objectity"? IS it that in some universes? Can we claim universes that use "humanity" all once had humans???

⛳ bossy-bot Follow

Hello! Golf Ball from the BFDI universe here. I can confirm we use 'humanity' because we have, and also have had, humans. I cannot say for other universes though.

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

Fan II at your service! we use both- humans are kind of a myth for the most part. depends on how religious you are sometimes

💊 the-cringe-one Follow

Cringe Pill, TDOS- 'objectity' is the main term we use. Hadn't even heard of humans until Real Life Battle, honestly

👓 the-nerdiest-glasses Follow

guys, you're way overthinking this. here one sec

add in the tags what universe you're from (and if you picked humanity, if you know why add that too)

🔧 warp-pipe-sfx Follow

Oh, hadn't even thought of that...

#Goes to show you can be as smart as you want and still be stupid 😅 #Very curious to see the responses

(351,294 notes)

🎩 not-a-magician asked: Hi, I've been seeing people ask you for advice on auras and mental wellness and things... do you have anything for sleeping? I don't know if I have insomnia, but I've definitely had some trouble sleeping lately. I'm tired as hell but can't seem to just. Do it. Any advice at all would mean the world to me, really

🕯 litwick-in-real-life Follow

(Reminder to all: my advice on here is not meant to replace professional help by any means. If this is the cause of underlying trauma, please turn to therapy and not Tumblr. I'm not licensed yet.)

Thank you so much for the ask! While I'm sorry to admit sleep habits are not something I'm particularly versed in, I will give advice to the best of my ability as always. Best wishes on your journey to heal ^-^

Full advice below the cut to save space, as always!

Keep reading

#mental wellness #sleep habits #sleep #candle's light advice #not-a-magician

(14 notes)

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

ive come to a realization

you're welcome

#tpot #gravity falls #bfdi #one bfdi #bill cipher #i spent way too fucking long on this #if anyone's done this before me don't tell me please #also please dont come after me one THIS ISNT AN INSULT

(931 notes)

👿 darkness-reigns-supreme-3882 Follow

WHY THE FUCK AM I GREEN NOW?!

👿 darkness-reigns-supreme-3882 Follow

GREEN ISN'T INTIMIDATING. GREEN IS STUPID. GREEN IS ~nature~ AND ~healing~ AND PEOPLE WHO GET STUCK UP ON MOUNTAINS!!!!!

👿 darkness-reigns-supreme-3882 Follow

there will be hell to pay for this.

#i SWEAR if who i thought did this did this.

(2 notes)

✅ marker-the-green Follow

Ummm why did I just get a bunch of hate dms after I changed my username? I thought these were over :[

#It's the same guy too.... #oh wait right I unblocked him since he stopped

(7 notes)

📱 phone-guy-not-fnaf Follow

Finally getting therapy ✌ unfortunately my therapist says it's not productive to be literally dancing on my dead father's grave. that beign said tune into my next stream where we do dares at his gravestone

(374 notes)

🗒 meme-pad Follow

how to stop water in pot from burning? tried to cook ramen and failed

🗒 meme-pad Follow

i did not mean to type this in google im crowdsourcing

🎩 not-a-magician Follow

What the hell did you do?!

🗒 meme-pad Follow

NOTHING

#wait u have a tumnlr?

(1,279 notes)

📛 loud-and-proud Follow

i know this is ironic because of my username but uh. does anyone have any advice for being in love w your best bro and not knowing how to say it

🎚 all-about-dat-bass Follow

bro... im right here...

📛 loud-and-proud Follow

bro... so... is that a yes?

🎚 all-about-dat-bass Follow

hell YEAH, bro!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

📛 loud-and-proud Follow

no way... i love you dude ❤

🎚 all-about-dat-bass Follow

love you too man ❤

📕 imnotafuckingdiary Follow

Fucking finally

#They were SO BAD off screen #Definitely didn't expect this on Tumblr of all places though.

(72 notes)

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

time sensitive question: is it possible to get sued by algebraliens

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

this was posted literal months ago why are you idiots still reblogging it.

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

I mean~... if you want help not getting sued, I could always lend a theoretical hand?

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

no soliciting

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

That's not what "no soliciting" means, you know.

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

suck my dick

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

Haha, rude! I'm only offering help, you know.

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

go away you bill cipher wannabe or ill bite into you like a stale dorito

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

I can find you, you know.

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

lol

#im about to do whats called a pro gamer move

(240,163 notes)

🥧 threepointonefourwhatever Follow

i blocked her 🎉

[utilitycaster]

This is related to last reblog but can I just say that I think Matt, while good at most other aspects of storytelling, just isn’t that good at writing compelling villains? And before you go point at the Briarwoods or Trent, remember these villains were co-written by the players who created them as part of their PC’s backstories, as were Lucien and Uk’otoa. Matt’s track record with villains is otherwise pretty lackluster, with Raishan being his only real standout example.

I actually completely disagree. I think first and most of all, the idea that co-writing doesn't count is a complete misunderstanding of the process of collaboration. Writing a compelling villain with someone else's initial concept is simply taking a writing prompt, and doing so as a DM, where the entire point is to create a world your characters care about is in fact precisely the assignment. Really, part of the problem with C3 is that I feel the characters' backstories weren't built upon, in favor of focusing on the moon plot. I'd add that also, Trent and the Briarwoods were from what I understand fairly loosely sketched out in Liam and Taliesin's backstories for Caleb and Percy; and Taliesin and Travis have both repeatedly stated they didn't create Lucien nor Uk'otoa - they said "I woke up in my own grave with no memory" or "I woke up washed up on the beach with a sword and a warlock pact". I also, for what it's worth, think that a great number of other villains (Thordak, Ripley, Vecna (who is not an original villain to be fair but his integration into Exandria is well-done), Lorenzo, Avantika, Ludinus - dumb ending aside the concept was good until it was strung out endlessly) were quite good. It really is a case of "you need to realize that bringing them back endlessly stops being fun or interesting and has greatly diminishing returns after a while." And also ngl as someone who is not per se devastated nor mad about Vaxleth so much as disappointed and scornful, it does kind of suck to hear the statement of "we did this to have a happy ending during a rough time!" when we are currently living through "unrepentant bigot who was semi-defeated came back."

Not directed specifically at you but I do want to note: whenever I express frustration/dislike of something I tend to get a spate of asks that are like, also about that thing but a totally different complaint, and sometimes I agree but a lot of the time I don't. This happened (for example) when I didn't like early FCG in which a lot of people were frankly really weird about Sam overall in my inbox and I want to encourage people to express this kind of complaint on their own blogs rather than through my inbox. If you want to ask me "how do you feel about Matt's other villains?" that's fine, but if you want to express your own opinion, that is a personal post to make.

[divorcedfiddleford]

and you may say to yourself: "my god! what have i done?" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful wife!" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful house!" and you may ask yourself: "well, how did i get here?"

time isn't holding up, time isn't after us, time is a pony ride! (images described in alt text)

[classicslesbianopinions]

okay re: the post about hector's corpse i reblogged a few days ago like. i do want to say that when you say "we're removed from violence" (regardless of what kind of violence you're talking about) you need to realize you're talking to a really, really specific group of people, and a narrower group than you probably think. and also, some (possibly many) of the people you think you are talking to are definitely not removed from that violence. especially considering that war has only gotten more destructive in the last 2000 years as more technologies have been developed, like maybe no one's dragging bodies around by chariot but they are absolutely dragging bodies around by car and tank, and defiling bodies (dead and alive) in countless other gruesome ways. the iliad is 2000 years old and generally considered to be mostly fiction but the war violence it describes was real at the time and is still real now, and the present-day victims of that violence (and their family members) should be assumed to be present in any conversation in which it features.

[slavhew]

fun fact the word "dirk" sounds exactly like the root of the croatian verb "drkati" which means to jack off

get the dirk brush here

[dreamychaika]

detectives and kims from magmas and drawpiles with friends (except for the last one. that i drew all by myself on a cold & lonely clip studio paint canvas.)

some less okay than others. im trying to learn how to draw men in their 40s

[motherforthefamicom]

that post reminded me actually. heres what i did for my ceramics final last semester :)

+ spin gifs. microwaving them

[kakusu-shipping]

HELLO THERE

My name is Emile, I'm a Proship selfshipper who loves drawing other people's Self Inserts above anything else and for this week and this week only I am opening $10 RUSH ORDER SKETCH COMMISSIONS!

Do you want a drawing of you and your F/O for cheap and don't mind it being a little rough? Consider DMing me and you could get something like This!

For the low low price of $10 a sketch!!!

And as a bonus!! If you end up liking your sketch and would like it lined, colored, or even fully rendered, you can DM me next week and I will happily slash the price of a full piece just for you!!!

From right this very second through Thursday night my DMs will be open to anyone interested! I only have Paypal to accept payment so please be aware of that!

Thankyou for your time!

[allegedly-human]

Saw a post from a USAmerican teen saying hating France ironically was americans trying to find socially acceptable ways to be racist and that it was imperialism and like.

Hi! French here. Making fun of France ironically and for silly reasons is more than okay 90% of the times. The few times people have been cunts about that has been when they were salty about us not joining the US to invade the Middle East, and other equally racist comments. We are not a misrepresented community that suffers from racial or societal prejudices because of our French origins, and especially not from people posting a vid of France disappearing from a map with a One Direction song. And fun fact, the argument that other Western countries don't respect us (especially the USA) is a far right argument for nationalism with the intent of pushing the "reject modernity embrace tradition the woke is coming from the US" argument with it. Believe it or not, "the French must not see any part of their culture treated lightly for it is holy" is a lot more worrying to me than "I kissed a Frenchman and got lung cancer from the second hand smoking" or whatever infinitely funnier thing internet people can find.

And, and I cannot stress this enough, this applies to our language. I cannot and won't talk for other French-speaking communities, but here in France I don't know one person who wouldn't make jokes about French being a joke and all that, and those I do know like this are people that tend to say the sentence "but is it really a genocide" a lot on various topics. However, the institutions that are hellbent on respecting and protecting French here are, you guessed it, conservative institutions like the French Académie who thinks that you shouldn't call Natives Americans Native Americans and that you should not be allowed to use gender neutral pronouns or to have a word for female authors, and of course the right. You're not being progressive by treating our culture the way Le Pen wants it to be treated, believe it or not

It's a long long topic worth thousands of words but I think the bottom line for this is: you guys joke about 9/11 and burgers, believe me, we're not that different, the only people who'll get offended by this are the same people who would scream at you to respect the troops and the thin blue line if they were from the US. The USA isn't the most special place of the world that's the only one worth laughing at, and claiming that USAmericans are "punching down" when making jokes about us is fucking stupid

[working-dreamer]

It’s wild how shipping culture has changed so drastically over time on the internet.

In the old days people shipped characters who either had only one line of dialogue with each other, never even met, or not even from the same piece of media. It was the wild west and sure some ships were uncomfortable but people had the mindset to just block the tag and stay away from ships they didn’t enjoy.

Nowadays? It’s more like people have to clarify that their ship isn’t canon compliant, character adjacent, and story irrelevant otherwise they get a flood of comments saying “but this character isn’t like this in canon” and some people legitimately get angry if you’re not following the canon.

Like- shipping and fandom culture from what I understand it is about engaging with media in a way that caters to you. And if you don’t like a ship or show just… block the relevant tags and don’t engage in the ships? The internet isn’t supposed to cater to us- we have to cater ourselves to our internet environment. And no matter how many times people may harass others over a fandom or ship they don’t like, those ships are not gonna disappear.

The internet has just been getting worse when people have decided to place morality in their opinions by saying things like “if you enjoy the ship then you support (insert horrible thing here that’s usually completely unrelated to the ship itself)” when it used to be “eh, not my thing” and people just moved on.

And for the record this isn’t about a specific ship or anything- just an observation of how fandom has evolved (and regressed) over the years and I find it fascinating from a sociological perspective cause we still don’t know how having the internet from birth affects the development of kids and how that affects how they interact with others- isn’t that scary?

I know that’s slightly unrelated but the way people engage in media has been changing over they years and that also involves fandom and the maturity level thereof in the internet space and someone smarter than me could probably write a whole thesis paper about fandom culture and how the internet has hindered the social development of people and how that affects community specifically from a fandom lens.

Just- for your sanity younger internet children: it’s not worth harassing others over something as trivial as ‘it’s not canon that this character kisses another character.’ Just find ships you like. Block ships you don’t. And just enjoy your time doing what you like!

You can’t control the internet but you can nurture your little corner of it.

[gingerswagfreckles]

Every day on this website people log on and hate women.

[mbirnsings-71]

Hey gang- Who knew my first art post to get to 100+ notes would be my parkciv doodles?? Cause I didn't- and as of posting this my shadowgast drawing from 2022 (Which I still really love tbh) just got to 100 notes so like,,, that's wild- So I really have to say thank you to the people who have been reblogging it and liking it!! Also to the people who have been here liking and reblogging my art for a hot minute- You all are very appreciated and I hope you guys have fun with my posts!!

The posts in question I'm referring to for this:

parkciv one

Shadowgast one

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[autobot-ratchet]

honestly as much as I harp on Getaway because I am Team Rodimus Ride or Die, I do think a lot about how cool he seemed before he did all that shit to Tailgate and the mutiny and whatnot

especially in relation to Skids, like Skids is a Good Fuckin Dude, he's got a solid moral compass and tries his best to be his best so for him to be close to Getaway, he must have seen good in him, genuine good, Skids is no fool

Getaway may have been able to bounce back from the Tailgate thing and even the mutiny itself if said mutiny had just been Megatron being taken away by the Galactic Council like he originally planned, he had enough crew members on his side even after the Tailgate thing. He would've just been a huge jerk instead of a monster, but alas, things slipped out of Getaway's control almost immediately in a way that was irreversible from the get-go

it also fucks me up how Skids was the only Lost Lighter to die in that altercation, his plan to get rid of Megatron got fucked up in a way that did the most personal damage to Getaway, killing his closest friend, damaging his standing with his fellow mutineers, and locking him in to his downward spiral

he had multiple chances to quit while he was ahead or at least slow down with the atrocities but he was just too bitter and angry and spiteful and desperate to be something greater than he is and honestly that's some good fuckin tragedy right there lmAO like I know I've hit him with the worlds smallest violin.mp3 over his motivations but much like Pharma he really is a deeply tragic character and as much as I appreciate the villain route he went down in mtmte, I wouldn't mind seeing him get a happier ending in another continuity

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Not-Incorrect Quotes, Valentine's Day Edition

Alice: [seeing a Valentine's Day display in a store a couple of days after New Year's] Ugh, really?

Victor: [looking over] Oh -- uh, that is a bit soon, isn't it?

Smiler: [also looking over] Hey, it's not as bad as it could be -- Valentine's is only a month away! It's not like they're promoting St. Patrick's, or Easter.

Alice: True, but still -- you'd think they'd give us some sort of a break between holidays. [rolling her eyes] Of course, Valentine's Day is just an excuse to sell people terrible chocolate and useless tat anyway. Do we really need a whole holiday that says "oh, if you don't bury your partner in flowers or drag them out for an expensive dinner, you don't really love them and you should--"

Alice: [stops as she notes Smiler and Victor both looking very awkward]

Alice: ...you two like Valentine's Day, don't you?

Victor: [weak smile] I -- uh -- well -- i-it's nice to have an excuse to make a bit of a fuss over you two?

Smiler: I have an ugly sweater and everything.

Alice: ...you know, I really should have guessed.

--

Smiler: [dressed in a black sweater covered in bands of yellow and purple hearts, presenting a pink-wrapped box to Victor with a big grin] Happy Valentine's Day, Victor! I come bearing gift!

Victor: [dressed more soberly in a blue sweater, smiling and offering Smiler a yellow-wrapped box in return] Happy Valentine's Day, Smiler. Here's your present.

Smiler: Thanks! [takes their box and nods to the one they gave Victor] Go on, open it! It's a weird little novelty item, but I'm sure you'll like it!

Victor: [chuckling at their enthusiasm] All right, all right. [opens the box and blinks] What -- is this --

Smiler: A phone shaped like a piano? Yup! Found it online -- I know nobody uses landlines anymore, but I figured you could put it on your desk, maybe use it as a paperweight.

Victor: [grinning, pressing the keys] Oh, this is fun -- thank you so much! [a little shyly as he nods at Smiler's present] I-I hope you like yours -- I found it online as well, and t-thought it would be perfect for you!

Smiler: Hey, I'm sure it's great! [opens up the box -- and stops dead, staring]

Victor: [leaning over] So, ah, this is an antique alchemy set -- it's got all the original bottles, though I'm pretty sure none of the ingredients are any good anymore, and all the original measuring tools and such. And a really tiny grater, which I thought you'd think was funny. I just -- I know i-it's probably too expensive, but I really wanted you to have it, and --

Victor: [suddenly noticing Smiler's face] Are you crying?!

Smiler: [hastily wiping their eyes] No?

--

Victor: [with Alice now, handing over a smaller, thinner blue-wrapped box a touch awkwardly] Happy Valentine's Day, Alice. I, uh, I got you something.

Alice: [wearing a red sweater because she's not totally immune to dressing up a bit for the day, smiles and reaches into a bright red bag] Happy Valentine's Day! I got you something too. [pulls out a navy plush dragon with a turquoise underbelly and gold-colored head fringe, ear fins, and claws] Taa-daa.

Victor: [eyes light up as he sees the dragon, accepting it with a bright smile] Oh! Alice, this is lovely! Do they have a name?

Alice: Well, the Douglas Toys website called them Aragon, but you can call them whatever you want. I remembered you liked dragons from those stories you told us about imagining having "Blue Ben" from Klive as your friend as a child, and stuffed animals are the one traditional Valentine's Day gift that I myself like, so... [little shrug]

Victor: [hugs the dragon] It's wonderful. Thank you. [shoots a slightly-nervous look at his box] I-I hope you like mine just as much.

Alice: I'm sure I will. You know better than to get me something ridiculous. [opens up her box...and just stares for a moment]

Victor: [shyly, still hugging his dragon] So, um, I found out about this blacksmith who recreates all sorts of weapons, and I commissioned them to do your Vorpal Blade. T-that's why I was so intent on drawing it before -- I w-wanted to make sure I had it just right when I sent it on. I -- I know i-it's probably a bit m-much, but -- I know how much W-Wonderland, and that blade, m-means to you, and when I realized I could g-get you a real one, I just --

Alice: [leans over to silence him with a finger on his lips, a little teary-eyed but smiling] You have absolutely no sense of proportion and I love you.

Victor: [blushes]

--

Alice: Hey, Smiler?

Smiler: What's up?

Alice: I had a question -- is it usual for metamours to exchange gifts on Valentine's Day?

Smiler: Depends on the relationship, I'd say! I don't think there's any hard and fast rules -- some people might consider it too much, some people wouldn't. It's all about the vibes!

Alice: I see.

Alice & Smiler: [look at each other in silence for a moment]

Alice: [produces a yellow gift bag]

Smiler: [produces a heart-paper-wrapped box]

Alice: [snorts] Right, I don't know why I was worried... Anyway, happy Valentine's Day! [offers the bag]

Smiler: Happy Valentine's Day! [trades the box for the bag and looks inside] What -- oh! [pulls out a little plush yellow-banded poison dart frog] Where'd you get this little guy?

Alice: Found it online -- I very much wanted to get you a plush frog, but as you might imagine, most of them are green. So I started looking for someone who did them in more unusual colors, and happened to stumble across that. Very lucky accident, that.

Smiler: [petting it with a couple of fingers] Very lucky indeed -- thanks! Now open yours!

Alice: [does just that, pulling the paper off the box to reveal] A checkerboard cake kit?

Smiler: Yup! I know you like cake, so I was going to get you a basket of cake mix and frosting mix and sprinkles -- but then I happened to see this while in the store and thought it was definitely your thing! After all, you've got a chess-themed land up there to go with all the card stuff!

Alice: [smiles] I do -- and I've seen checkerboard cakes before, and always thought they looked amazing. Could never figure out how they did them, though -- now I guess I've got the chance to find out!

Smiler: Exactly! [winks] See, it's not all useless tat.

Alice: [sticks her tongue out at them] Yes, yes...

--

Alice: [walking to Victor's bedroom with Smiler] So -- an entire antique alchemy set?

Smiler: Yes, it's fucking amazing, I really gotta show you later. And he seriously got you the Vorpal Blade?

Alice: Commissioned it from an actual blacksmith -- I'll have to show you later. [shakes her head] Just -- it's incredible, and I love him so much, but -- it does make me feel a little bit bad for spending under forty dollars US on his present.

Smiler: Hey, no, don't be like that. I didn't spend that much on his either, but I'm sure he liked it. This isn't a contest we have to win. [small smile] Which is good, because he's the one with money and would win easily.

Alice: [laughs] I know, I know. But -- well, it would be nice to have a little extra reassurance that he liked mine too, you know?

Smiler: Yeah, I suppose I wouldn't mind that my --

Smiler: [stops as they come to the open door of Victor's bedroom]

Alice: [raises an eyebrow] What?

Smiler: [beckons her to stand next to them]

Alice: [does so, looking inside]

Victor: [is sitting at his desk, setting up his new dragon so their front claws are resting on the keys of their new piano phone, beaming]

Victor: [feels eyes upon him and turns around] Oh! [blushes a little, rubbing the back of his neck] I -- B-Benny wants to play the piano too.

Alice: [smiling warmly] So I see.

Smiler: [also smiling warmly] Good for Benny. [smile turns a little -- predatory] Though it's a good thing he's looking away, because I don't think we're quite done giving you presents yet...