#but who will happily indulge her more romantic/silly partners

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Not-Incorrect Quotes, Valentine's Day Edition

Alice: [seeing a Valentine's Day display in a store a couple of days after New Year's] Ugh, really?

Victor: [looking over] Oh -- uh, that is a bit soon, isn't it?

Smiler: [also looking over] Hey, it's not as bad as it could be -- Valentine's is only a month away! It's not like they're promoting St. Patrick's, or Easter.

Alice: True, but still -- you'd think they'd give us some sort of a break between holidays. [rolling her eyes] Of course, Valentine's Day is just an excuse to sell people terrible chocolate and useless tat anyway. Do we really need a whole holiday that says "oh, if you don't bury your partner in flowers or drag them out for an expensive dinner, you don't really love them and you should--"

Alice: [stops as she notes Smiler and Victor both looking very awkward]

Alice: ...you two like Valentine's Day, don't you?

Victor: [weak smile] I -- uh -- well -- i-it's nice to have an excuse to make a bit of a fuss over you two?

Smiler: I have an ugly sweater and everything.

Alice: ...you know, I really should have guessed.

--

Smiler: [dressed in a black sweater covered in bands of yellow and purple hearts, presenting a pink-wrapped box to Victor with a big grin] Happy Valentine's Day, Victor! I come bearing gift!

Victor: [dressed more soberly in a blue sweater, smiling and offering Smiler a yellow-wrapped box in return] Happy Valentine's Day, Smiler. Here's your present.

Smiler: Thanks! [takes their box and nods to the one they gave Victor] Go on, open it! It's a weird little novelty item, but I'm sure you'll like it!

Victor: [chuckling at their enthusiasm] All right, all right. [opens the box and blinks] What -- is this --

Smiler: A phone shaped like a piano? Yup! Found it online -- I know nobody uses landlines anymore, but I figured you could put it on your desk, maybe use it as a paperweight.

Victor: [grinning, pressing the keys] Oh, this is fun -- thank you so much! [a little shyly as he nods at Smiler's present] I-I hope you like yours -- I found it online as well, and t-thought it would be perfect for you!

Smiler: Hey, I'm sure it's great! [opens up the box -- and stops dead, staring]

Victor: [leaning over] So, ah, this is an antique alchemy set -- it's got all the original bottles, though I'm pretty sure none of the ingredients are any good anymore, and all the original measuring tools and such. And a really tiny grater, which I thought you'd think was funny. I just -- I know i-it's probably too expensive, but I really wanted you to have it, and --

Victor: [suddenly noticing Smiler's face] Are you crying?!

Smiler: [hastily wiping their eyes] No?

--

Victor: [with Alice now, handing over a smaller, thinner blue-wrapped box a touch awkwardly] Happy Valentine's Day, Alice. I, uh, I got you something.

Alice: [wearing a red sweater because she's not totally immune to dressing up a bit for the day, smiles and reaches into a bright red bag] Happy Valentine's Day! I got you something too. [pulls out a navy plush dragon with a turquoise underbelly and gold-colored head fringe, ear fins, and claws] Taa-daa.

Victor: [eyes light up as he sees the dragon, accepting it with a bright smile] Oh! Alice, this is lovely! Do they have a name?

Alice: Well, the Douglas Toys website called them Aragon, but you can call them whatever you want. I remembered you liked dragons from those stories you told us about imagining having "Blue Ben" from Klive as your friend as a child, and stuffed animals are the one traditional Valentine's Day gift that I myself like, so... [little shrug]

Victor: [hugs the dragon] It's wonderful. Thank you. [shoots a slightly-nervous look at his box] I-I hope you like mine just as much.

Alice: I'm sure I will. You know better than to get me something ridiculous. [opens up her box...and just stares for a moment]

Victor: [shyly, still hugging his dragon] So, um, I found out about this blacksmith who recreates all sorts of weapons, and I commissioned them to do your Vorpal Blade. T-that's why I was so intent on drawing it before -- I w-wanted to make sure I had it just right when I sent it on. I -- I know i-it's probably a bit m-much, but -- I know how much W-Wonderland, and that blade, m-means to you, and when I realized I could g-get you a real one, I just --

Alice: [leans over to silence him with a finger on his lips, a little teary-eyed but smiling] You have absolutely no sense of proportion and I love you.

Victor: [blushes]

--

Alice: Hey, Smiler?

Smiler: What's up?

Alice: I had a question -- is it usual for metamours to exchange gifts on Valentine's Day?

Smiler: Depends on the relationship, I'd say! I don't think there's any hard and fast rules -- some people might consider it too much, some people wouldn't. It's all about the vibes!

Alice: I see.

Alice & Smiler: [look at each other in silence for a moment]

Alice: [produces a yellow gift bag]

Smiler: [produces a heart-paper-wrapped box]

Alice: [snorts] Right, I don't know why I was worried... Anyway, happy Valentine's Day! [offers the bag]

Smiler: Happy Valentine's Day! [trades the box for the bag and looks inside] What -- oh! [pulls out a little plush yellow-banded poison dart frog] Where'd you get this little guy?

Alice: Found it online -- I very much wanted to get you a plush frog, but as you might imagine, most of them are green. So I started looking for someone who did them in more unusual colors, and happened to stumble across that. Very lucky accident, that.

Smiler: [petting it with a couple of fingers] Very lucky indeed -- thanks! Now open yours!

Alice: [does just that, pulling the paper off the box to reveal] A checkerboard cake kit?

Smiler: Yup! I know you like cake, so I was going to get you a basket of cake mix and frosting mix and sprinkles -- but then I happened to see this while in the store and thought it was definitely your thing! After all, you've got a chess-themed land up there to go with all the card stuff!

Alice: [smiles] I do -- and I've seen checkerboard cakes before, and always thought they looked amazing. Could never figure out how they did them, though -- now I guess I've got the chance to find out!

Smiler: Exactly! [winks] See, it's not all useless tat.

Alice: [sticks her tongue out at them] Yes, yes...

--

Alice: [walking to Victor's bedroom with Smiler] So -- an entire antique alchemy set?

Smiler: Yes, it's fucking amazing, I really gotta show you later. And he seriously got you the Vorpal Blade?

Alice: Commissioned it from an actual blacksmith -- I'll have to show you later. [shakes her head] Just -- it's incredible, and I love him so much, but -- it does make me feel a little bit bad for spending under forty dollars US on his present.

Smiler: Hey, no, don't be like that. I didn't spend that much on his either, but I'm sure he liked it. This isn't a contest we have to win. [small smile] Which is good, because he's the one with money and would win easily.

Alice: [laughs] I know, I know. But -- well, it would be nice to have a little extra reassurance that he liked mine too, you know?

Smiler: Yeah, I suppose I wouldn't mind that my --

Smiler: [stops as they come to the open door of Victor's bedroom]

Alice: [raises an eyebrow] What?

Smiler: [beckons her to stand next to them]

Alice: [does so, looking inside]

Victor: [is sitting at his desk, setting up his new dragon so their front claws are resting on the keys of their new piano phone, beaming]

Victor: [feels eyes upon him and turns around] Oh! [blushes a little, rubbing the back of his neck] I -- B-Benny wants to play the piano too.

Alice: [smiling warmly] So I see.

Smiler: [also smiling warmly] Good for Benny. [smile turns a little -- predatory] Though it's a good thing he's looking away, because I don't think we're quite done giving you presents yet...

[nuevayorka]

The Royal Wedding: Why It Stings Just a Little Bit And That’s OK

Is anyone else catching salty feelings about the royal wedding? I’ve been unbothered by the hoopla for the most part. The royal family has never been my thing and the wedding just wasn’t capturing my attention. I was more focused on the Markle father storyline, hoping he’d come around, and feeling grateful that I have such a loving and supportive dad.

But, over the weekend, there was no escaping it. From the moment I opened my phone I was bombarded by news from the grand occasion. I suddenly felt anxious that I’d slept through the ceremony, something I promise you I had zero interest in, and started frantically searching for video of the nuptials. I gave up after a few minutes and settled for some style photos on Vogue.com. Everything appeared as it should – absolutely stunning. But it wasn’t making me feel good. I felt like I’d just stalked my ex’s hot new girlfriend’s Instagram, ya know? Salty.

It was as if one glimpse at a crown and a gown and a smiling prince and I was suddenly 6-years-old again watching my Disney on repeat. And the 6-year-old Jessica asks the 35-year-old Jessica WTF happened?! And I feel...for lack of better words ‘bad about myself.’ Like: Why didn’t you make that shit happen?! And, then, I feel sorry for myself. Like: Why can’t that shit be me?! And then… I. Feel. Like. An. Idiot. I judge myself. Like: How could a grown, intelligent woman fall for this shit?! Literally, the most calculated media spectacle in decades. We all know Windsor Castle doesn’t play. I watch The Crown.

The thing is; I’m having the intended reaction. This is what I’m programmed to feel:

Little girls are princesses. One day a prince “picks” you and you live happily ever after. 

Sure, we grow-up and evolve past this, but it’s still in there, deeply ingrained in the inner child. Particularly, if you were as obsessed with Disney as I was. 

So how do we click out of the fantasy and back into our lives without wanting to kill ourselves? Especially when you’re single and dating?

First things first, let’s breakdown the feelings here. That little meltdown I described is me telling myself, I’m not worthy of love. Especially not the love of a “prince.” It sounds simple, and maybe even pathetic to some, but if I’m being honest that’s what I’m telling myself. And it is quite simple. In that moment, I’m ignoring all facts based in reality and believing, “Jessica, you’re unlovable.” And every time I compare myself to someone or something else like the royal wedding, that’s the message I’m subscribing to: I’m not enough. And when you keep it real, real with yourself like that, doesn’t sound very cute. Does it?

It’s not as if the royal wedding has the power to drive me off a cliff. But the unattainable standards it sets do have a depressive effect. Some say its harmless escapism. But any fantasy, if over-indulged, can be harmful because the buy-in to a fantasy is a comparison. That (what you have) is better than this (what I have). Leaving our reality is to say our lives aren’t good enough. And our lives are wonderful.

Luckily, I’m pretty sure we’re out of princes, so this won’t come back around for a while. But there will always be the seemingly perfect couples, the GIANT engagement ring blinding you from the neighboring yoga mat, unrealistic images of wealth, beauty and so on. None of it is going away. And that’s not the solution. Taking airbrushed models off the covers of magazines isn’t going to make me suddenly accept my body in all its glory and imperfection. Inclusion and realistic portrayals of women are necessary but the job of self-acceptance is mine. Besides, I can’t unsee Emily Ratajkowski! She’s fucking everywhere!!

So, yeah, I can’t unsee these things but I can start seeing myself. And I can start acknowledging how loved I actually am. For example, whenever my sister would give me a pep-talk, I’d shrug off her encouragement saying, “That doesn’t count. You have to love me, you’re my sister!” First of all, that’s a horrible thing to say. No love could ever replace my sister’s or count more in my life. And, also, no. She really doesn’t have to love me. And she certainly doesn’t have to show-up for me, in the way she makes an effort to do, every single day. And when I can take a moment to appreciate this, I feel so lucky. Her love gives me the major feels – tease all you want!

Even if you don’t have a sibling per se, you have someone in your life who loves you -- a friend, parent, colleague, partner. Whoever is showing up for you, take a moment to acknowledge it. It’s a simple shift in perspective. But the more I tap into the love that I do have rather than what I don’t, the easier it is to reason with pesky comparisons. The evidence of my “lovability” (if you will) is clear and substantiated. I can finally see and actually feel all the love that surrounds me. I realize its always there, if I have the presence to open to it. 

This understanding helps me develop the most important source of love we have: self-love. I don’t just say I love myself in an egotistical manner or a flippant, defensive way. I actually know what it feels like because I reason with it all day, err day. I accept that it takes work to manage my fears and insecurities and I'm not crazy or lame for getting a little caught-up in something like the royal wedding. I have the compassion and presence of mind to say, “This is so normal. But, it’s a bit silly, girl. This is the reality of your beautiful life, so let’s get back to it.” And, then, I go to Yogaworks and treat myself to a 4-hour workshop, a practice in self-care, with one of the people I get so much love from. (P.S. Ruah Yoga is the bomb!) 

The result of doing this work is that there’s no need for escapism. There’s no need for a fairytale. I understand there’s no such thing -- even for Meghan and Harry -- nothing is ever as it seems.

P.S. This is not a commentary on the wedding or the couple. I have always had a crush on Harry and honestly, they seem adorable together. It’s all fabulous!

Still, there’s nothing like falling in love. Awakening that unique place in our hearts is a feeling like no other. And I miss it. So, watching a blockbuster wedding go down on the world stage, is a trigger to that longing. And that feeling (pesky, uncool longing) is so uncomfortable I want to immediately push it away with cynicism or blaming because to irrationally assume I will die alone is easier to reconcile than the uncertainty of my “relationship status.”

So I have to remember that it’s perfectly natural to long for love and also know I’m OK just as I am, on my own. The woe is me feeling is much trickier than the Beyoncé “Flawless” side of this duality. But, I can’t erase it, so I make room for both, holding the two feelings simultaneously. 

And, for the first time in my life, I accept that a romantic relationship may not come. It may come and go or it could sweep me off my feet. But it won’t be the relationship that defines IF I feel loved because I know I am. I’ve learned that love comes in many forms and each are equally fulfilling and valuable. The key is to not hold one in greater esteem than the others. I don’t give one relationship the power to define my worthiness. And thus I’m able to accept and appreciate where I am in this moment and look to the future with curiosity instead of entitlement and expectations.

To me, a princess always illustrated the strength of vulnerability and the courage to confront obstacles with an open heart. So when I want to be a bit of a princess, I go for it!

[meandmyechoes]

The more I think about my first romance novel, the more I find something odd.

[28th March 17:46]

I keep referring to it as a ‘favourable experience’, and there is no question the writing is what made me fall totally head over heels about quin tress, but I also just, can't?

I mean, yes. It's very passionate, dramatic, scenes and gestures I can only dream of. And it's all very bisexual and fantastical of me. But I also, don't really see it in that 'omg they totally belong together here are my sixty headcanons of them' sense?

I am very involved in the pairing, but also don't really, actively 'ship' it — like the way I have the ability to with Rhayme or Latts (since it's the same author that indoctrinated me to Captain Rhayme). I could imagine them being happily ever after and silly shenanigans and slow-burn. But the concept of a quin tress fairytale ending is so wild. I can only ask if this has to do with my personal view on relationships. Does this tie back to how I say the hottest thing a heterosexual couple can do is fuck (and the spiritual experience is emphasized with a same-sex partner)? - anyway, ace brain (probably) speaking.

I know the plot leaves little room for 'the future' and fed me well on all tropes possible. But, it just never occurred to me to put them in any other clichés or invent a missing scene.

Winding up, I don't think their relationship is 'weak', but it's very motivated by circumstances and once you take that out of them, you are a little bit lost. For example even during the illicit affairs month, I… can't really propose one date that does not seem tonally insensitive. (I can think of them being cloak dorks and Vos bringing her to ice-cream, that's it, after a long hard moment) Really, all I possibly want is that sweet, sweet angst and canon is already there so I have no complaint.

It's just… I don't really get why it has to be the two of them that fall for each other. I understand why they did, and I believe it— Perhaps it's much more a physical attraction thing that I don't really have personal experience with.

I don't know if quin tress classify as slow-burn because 10 chapters still seem a little quick in the grand scheme of things. (aside: I'm quite disappointed Ventress wasn't doing much in the last quarter of the book.) My point is, they do feel a little bit puppet to tropes, and while it's deliciously written, there's not much potential outside of canon. And that lack of inspiration makes me grimace a little.

[3rd April, 01:39]

I’ve scrolled through the dd tag and let the book sank a little. I am better articulated to talk about the sexist criticism now.

It's a romance story, and when I judge it by that (lower) standard, it ticks the boxes. However, it might be a weakness as well, due to the projectability of the heroes. And yes, the whole assassination is dumb. Yet, tcw has been consistently this dumb at us. The last two times when she's more rooted in the dark she failed, sent Savage and failed, so she's gonna do it again with Vos… after she put down her desire for revenge. right. ans surprise! Our "assassination" plan is to find Dooku and duel him directly. right…

I've read a review that says the romance takes away from the plot. However, the romance IS the plot. The book IS supposed to revolve around the two of them. I do agree them becoming begrudging allies then partners is a more unique approach, more rewarding as foils as well. but I guess a romance is easier for the convention to process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

With the "Ventress lose agency in falling for Vos". Now, I can't dictate how each of us buy into their physical attraction and chemistry (or lack thereof), and there's no denial that a conscious human being is making that choice for the fictional character, I think the stance on this topic is really tinted by the above two factors, which are very different starting points.

I kept Katie. Lucas's foreword vividly in mind while reading. She said this is a story about people seizing chances to rebuild. That there's always a choice. Cliché as it is, I believe ~the power of love~. I believe there exists someone you're willing to sacrifice everything for, to overlook everything for, to forgive - to love them, warts and all. So, yes whether you think Ventress loses her agency to the romance, or if that's a conscious choice on her behalf, is swayed heavily by how much you buy that they are the one.

[10th April, 10:30]

So Mr. Partner has finished the book too. He didn't offer particular insights, but we discussed briefly the overall pace and bits of characterization. He did made me rolled with laughter describing Vos through a childish, tropey lens. Regarding the topic of this documentation - the quin tress relationship, I've been more or less really enjoying it as a guilty pleasure. I don't read romance novels at all, and this is tooth-rotting sweet angst. 

Yesterday I’ve been thinking a bit more about this. I do love this ship, I just don’t believe they’d be two people who find each other again and again in every life time, in every universe. That’s why, as magnificent as fireworks, it also won’t last.

It's very nostalgic to indulge in a heterosexual relationship, and pair it up with taylor swift songs. If I have a boyfriend as devoted as Vos, I'd fall one hundred percent. And if I'm faced with an bombshell like Ventress, I would not be able to have any agency I swear. Either way, in my headcanon, Ventress is happily away on adventures with Lassa :3

To explore this, it’s not entire impossible for quin tress to separate peacefully after this incident, but would that cheapen the build before? The entire motivation of dark!Quinlan hinges on his vision of their future. And say, Ventress did saved him and survived. How would he balance being a Jedi and his feelings - that’s publicly exposed to the Council? (sidenote: i really don’t like Ch. 27 where a bunch of old men are questioning their love life, but uhhh yes, I’m a sensible person!) For now, I’m seeing another Obitine situation. And honestly how bad that an outcome is. It’s not like Ventress died for her war crimes! The show gave her a full pardon! So Idk man. Why can’t she leaves him because she loves him and she exiled herself and they never see each other again WHY NOT FILONI WHY NOT.

Now I’m lamenting more what could’ve been with the two arcs. In Filoni’s original sketch, Aayla and Maul were involved. Man, that could’ve been the dream. I skipped to translating the last two chapters and all the way I was just fuming at how stupid it was. There are difficult technical terms but I really enjoy voicing the characters. But it just takes away bit of that formality and Shakespearean tragic factor having them talk in my native tongue???? haha

Prelude: [12th March 22:37]

since dark disciple heteronormatively gave Rhayme and Ventress boyfriends, I'm gonna go ahead and sign the charter that says "all sw characters are bi"

which got me thinking, I insist that Quinlan and Ventress must fuck (and I insist they did, with the implication from when Quinlan "had seen her by starlight, just her"), but why didn't I think that way with Rhayme and her? Maybe it's because the story never pushed me there. I'd wish it indeed have more to do with I'm aspec than internalized homophobia (that I look down on everyone), but I also think, fucking is literally the hottest thing a heterosexual relationship can do? Every selling point, either be appearance or intellect, leads up to the ultimate goal of reproduction?

But oh my god, space lesbians, beating up pirates, sharing a wine, teasing hairs and finger tips. That's so goddamn romantic

[edit: i know that is an extremely skewered and unfair view, but i’ve met maybe, one, boy on my intellectual level. it’s a game of probability ok]

~~~

Part 2: [26th April, 15:15]

It has been… a month, since I finished Dark Disciple and I feel like it’s time to conclude all the thinking this book has made me do.

On the wider reflection about attachment and the Order, I still have to do more reading on it to form a concrete opinion. This theme won’t be touched on in this post yet, but I cannot shake how intriguing it is to compare “falling” in love to falling to the dark side. The temptation, and the submission to their emotions, the irrationality, the newfound curiosity, it all incites. Very curiously, it was Anakin. Skywalker who commented that one is “blinded by love”

Okay, so what I’ve been scratching my head off the past two weeks is how I look at the romance between Asajj. Ventress and Quinlan. Vos. How would I define it?

Now this is as much as an exploration of how I view romantic relationships. Well, I’ve decided it wasn’t “love”, it was an “affair”. It was an affair because it’s a rush of passion, it’s a secret, it won’t last. Before I chop my own head off for bluntness, I mean it in, of course they are hopelessly in love with each other, that’s the exact premise of why it moved me so. But it wasn’t a complete relationship, wasn’t a healthy, sustainable one by any objective standards. Then, that’s the exact contradiction. Oh to throw caution in the wind with you, or to build a future with you?

Both are things I want a lot, and the ideal is of course one after the other. What quin tress had (in the end) is definitely not something I’d want for myself, but it’s so fantastical, it’s alluring, just like the concept of falling in love - opening up yourself and trusting another person, is - it’s risky. That’s why it’s a sweet, sweet drug.

I’ve been so angry at all the red flags in this relationship. Reading this book, getting into both of their shoes, yelling NO like their best friends. But ultimately, what they had is unique to them and I can’t influence it in any way. Re-reading, I find myself holding myself back at all the places I was furious about going ‘You are smarter than this!’. Because it’s a tragedy, and the beautiful thing is they chose each other (I guess).

The other day something on the dash inspired me to really think about ship dynamics. I, unashamedly admit, I’m VERY into Obi/Quin/Ventress in any and all combinations. *cough* I will not explain further.

Aside, the elephant was I’ve never been in a relationship or felt physically attracted to any person in my life. I suppose that’s a reason it took some time for me to really buy into them more than friends. I do accept the premise and I did discover they share quite a bunch of traits, but it confused me a while what made them cross the boundary, and it was, physical attraction (that the book was selling so hard I was blushing hot). But what really frustrates me, not that I couldn’t invest into two paper people’s love story, but was why my body is governed by hormones so bad. I could say things I wouldn’t dare depending on the day of the month. I have to be honest, I love them both a lot, and I would like to date them both, and I can see myself in either of them. Again comes another contradiction, is it a good thing to have characters so easily projectable, or do I want to see myself in more complex characters like them?

I probably lost quite a few cars stalling this train of thought. This book brought me a lot of emotional upheavals and a lot of food for thought. It brought me down to reflect on my romantic worldview and sexuality because I have nothing better to do. It totally challenged me as a writer and it’s just a really good novel by its right, regardless of the absurdity that is The Clone Wars. It’s a lot of firsts for me. And I really should find something better to do.

[everythingshawnmendes]

That One Night (Shawn Mendes x Reader)

Summary: Y/N and Shawn are both friends of Y/F/N (your friend’s name) and are each in a serious relationship they’re unhappy with. On one night, they are both invited to Y/F/N’s beach party and…

“For I have never seen true beauty till this night.” William Shakespeare

+

Shawn sighed as his girlfriend of two years was complaining about something again. Today, it was about the public transportation.

“I mean why can’t they just stop in front of my house, it’ll take one minute? Don’t bus drivers have one minute of their lives to spare?”

Her name was Emma. She was the same age as him, she was a model. They had met online through various flirtatious Twitter encounters and soon began to date.

A beautiful appearance did not mean a beautiful inside.

They got along well, they cared for each other. Shawn would be able to tolerate marrying her and spending every day of his life with her.

But that’s not what a relationship was supposed to be right? A relationship was beyond tolerance, and compromise. Hell, if he had to choose a girl to spend the rest of his life with he would choose Aaliyah over Emma. Because Shawn loved Aaliyah and their sibling bond was unfortunately stronger than whatever relationship he and Emma had.

He did not hate Emma, of course no, but he did not love her. However, he stayed with her, because it was comfortable and it was familiar.

+

“A BREAK?”

“Yes… a break.” Y/N said slowly, stretching out each letter of that last word.

“Why the hell would you want to take a break from us?” Brandon, Y/N’s boyfriend said aggressively.

“Seriously Brandon? You can’t see the reason? Our relationship is far from perfect, hell it’s far from happy!”

“Is this about me cheating on you last spring because I already apologized.”

Y/N bit her tongue, blinking the burning in the back of her eyes away. Cheating was regarded so normal nowadays in relationships, when it should be the opposite. It has become common and easier to forgive, even though it is the biggest act of infidelity. And Brandon did it, not even under the influence.

“Noo. It’s not about spring break last year. I just feel we need some time apart to, rethink how our relationship really is.”

“C’mon babe. I know we have our downs. but we’re okay yeah?” Brandon said, exiting the room.

Y/N sighed. She wished she felt something for him like she had in the beginning of their relationship. But whatever love there used to be, was gone.

Her phone beeped. It was Y/F/N, Her best friend since high school.

Y/F/N: Hey, down to hit the beach tomorrow night?

She typed vigorously: fuck yes.

+

Shawn’s phone beeped. It was a text from a good friend from work who was into journalism.

Y/F/N: Hey, down to hit the beach tomorrow night?

Shawn: please.

Y/F/N: Do you mind not bringing Emma? Nothing against her, we just a little tired of your bickering lol

Shawn: haha you’re not alone my friend.

Y/F/N: Feel free to invite other guys 😉

+

The next day, Y/F/N went over to Y/N’s with the whole gang of old high school friends. They spent the day chilling, telling old stories, binge-eating and binge-watching.

Afternoon rolled around and they climbed into Y/F/N’s car to drive down to Y/F/N’s beach house, which was about a half-hour away.

“We gotta pick up some guys by the way girls.”

“Noo problem.” All the single friends sing-songed. Y/N swallowed guiltily at the fact her stomach tingled with excitement at the idea of meeting new guys as well.

They drove down to a house and Y/F/N went out to knock on the door.

Shawn answered the door and he, Niall and Geoff came out the door.

Y/F/N whispered in his ear: “Niall too? Dang thanks Shawn.”

Shawn smiled and walked out the door as well.

Y/N stared at her phone inside Y/F/N’s car, not daring to peer at the guys Y/F/N invited.

The guys climbed into Geoff’s car and tailed behind Y/F/N’s car. Soon they arrived, and the whole gang pulled towels, umbrellas and coolers out of the cars.

The girls found a spot in the warm sand as they waited for the guys to carry the heavier stuff over.

Y/N was happy. She was positively glowing. Thinking to herself, she decided to have fun for the first time in a long time today.

She pulled off her shirt and shorts to reveal a strappy red one-piece. She didn’t care Brandon forbid her to wear it.

Shawn held the umbrella and its stand in one arm and his bag in the other. Spotting the gang, he walked over to them, his feet brushing the warm sand. His eye landed on a girl in a bold deep red swimsuit with flowy (your hair color) name.

His eyes wanted to look at her but at the same time he didn’t let himself to, thinking he was not deserving to witness such a venerable piece of art without asking.

Instead he dodged her and set his towel beside Niall’s.

He played it cool, but he secretly sneaked glances at Y/N every few seconds to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He watched her splash around in the waves with Geoff and a couple of other girls.

“Hey Y/F/N.” he said, sitting down beside her on her towel.

“Hey Shawn, how’s it going? By the way did you read our interview on Billboard?”

“Course I did, it was wonderful. So um say who’s the girl in red?” he said in what he hoped was an aloof casual tone.

“Oh yeah! My bad I didn’t introduce you to anyone. Well I see Geoff and Niall are already getting to know them. One in red’s Y/N, and the two on her right are Cloe and Veronica.”

Shawn, not having asked for the names of the other two and who was not remotely interested in them to be honest, turned deaf after hearing the name of the girl in red.

Y/N.

Y/N swam in the waves, having a couple laughs with her girls and the guys she just met. Deciding to dry off and sunbathe a little, she left the four others and ran back up to shore.

She nearly tripped in the smooth sand when she saw the guy sitting beside Y/F/N.

She made eye contact with him for a second and immediately looked away. With pink cheeks, she took a seat on her towel, which was on the other side of Y/F/N’s.

Shawn, in alarm, having never felt so infatuated with someone, got up rashly and ran to the water. Best he not say anything to her without thinking about it first if he didn’t want to embarrass himself.

“Holy shit Y/F/N who is that?” Y/N exhaled as Shawn ran out of earshot. It’s not like she was holding her breath or anything, it was more like she forgot to breathe so much she thought about him.

“Haha that’s Shawn, he helped me get the job at Billboard.”

“HE’S the pop star that got you that job?”

“Yeah, I’ve told you a thousand times about him!” Y/F/N exclaimed shaking her head.

Y/N merely shrugged. How could she not pay attention to that! She gazed at him. He looked like a Greek god. There was no other way describing his chiseled jaw, and his beautiful tall body.

“I’m going into the water.” Y/F/N said, taking Y/N out of her reverie.

“Hmm oh yeah kay.”

Y/N watched from a distance. Shawn was an angel. He smiled at Y/F/N, splashed her playfully, and didn’t even mind holding the huge seashell Y/F/N found.

If THAT’S how he treated a friend, imagine how the hell he would treat a girlfriend… No, don’t go there Y/N, those thoughts are trouble. Were these even normal thoughts to have on a complete stranger?!

She was in such a daze that she didn’t notice Shawn running up to her and putting the huge ass seashell on Y/F/N’s towel.

“Hi.” He said.

“Hey.” Y/N turned around, and nearly had cardiac arrest when she saw who it was. “Nice seashell.”

He laughed. “Yeah Y/F/N found it and said she wanted to use it as a decoration or something. It’s Y/N right?”

“Right-o.” Well this is a good time to use that term for the first time. “And you’re?”

“Shawn. Whatcha reading?”

“Hmm oh this is only the best book in the universe. Not counting Harry Potter of course.”

“I LOVE HARRY POTTER!”

“ME TOO!” Y/N exclaimed, the way a potterhead does when they recognize another one. ( A/N: a potterhead is a huge Harry Potter fan. I, you can guess, am one.)

They both laughed.

“Well um anyways, this is Les Miserables.”

“You speak French?”

“Yeah I grew up in Canada.”

“No way me too! Pickering, Toronto.”

“Me Montreal.” Y/N smiled. Wow they had way more in common the she thought they would. “Anyway yeah, it’s a French classic, it talks about the June rebellion. The main character is an ex-prisoner who changed his view on life from hate to love because he adopts a girl named Cosette- Sorry I must be boring you.”

“Wha- no not at all!” Shawn said. Really, he meant it.

“Sorry, it’s just people don’t read as much as they used to because of cell phones and stuff, and books are now viewed as boring and long and only meant for school.”

They spoke to each other as if they have spoken to each other two thousand times before. Before they knew it, they were both talking about their relationships. They were both saddened when they heard of each other’s dissatisfaction with their current partners. They were both unaware however that their sadness was also caused of the other not being romantically available.

Shawn was hypnotised when Y/N talked, his ears being filled by only her voice, and his vision being filled by only the way her mouth moves, her hair in the ocean breeze, her body language. And Y/N was the same for him.

It was soon sunset and Y/F/N pulled cans of beer and Palm Bay (its like a Canadian cocktail drink with vodka). Y/N drank fast, wishing to leave her boring tied down regular life.

Shawn decided not to indulge and kept his eye on Y/N.

The lifeguards came down to them and invited them to a party that night. They happily agreed and set off for a bite to eat first.

The whole time, Y/N and Shawn were inseparable. They acted like long-time friends, chasing each other down the boardwalk, and trying on silly accessories at open boutiques along the way.

Shawn collapsed in laughter as Y/N was screamed at by a shop owner, for she accidentally walked off still wearing a fuzzy orange hat Shawn put on her head.

They had never laughed this much in their lives. They sat down beside each other at the restaurant and shared their food with each other.

“Jesus Y/N and Shawn seem to be getting along.” Y/F/N muttered to Niall.

“Yeh really looks like it!”

They then all drove to a drugstore, the girls all needing gum, and elastics and other toiletries. Y/N and Shawn raided all the magazines to find one Harry Potter themed. Y/N shivered in the cool AC and Shawn quickly lent her his hoodie.

On the way to Y/F/N’s beach house, the duo finally separated.

It was the boringest quiestest fifteen minutes of Shawn’s life. He missed Y/N, he actually missed her even though he was gonna to see her again in a couple minutes.

They all got to the house, and began pre-gaming for the lifeguard party. All except for Shawn of course, who wanted to think crystal clear with his limited hours with Y/N.

Y/N however went hard, wanting to forget and forget about life at home. By the time they got to the lifeguard party, she was wasted.

They all danced and moved to music, and Shawn the entire time, had eyes only on Y/N.

He had never seen anyone so pure, so majestic as her. He watched out for her, since there were a couple guys on the lookout for pretty drunk wasted girls. Toward the end of the night, it was only Y/N and Shawn standing. The others were all sitting, half asleep on chairs.

Y/N and Shawn swayed together to the beat of the music, and by the way Y/N looked at him, she was intoxicated, but no longer of alcohol.

They looked at each other and locked lips.

Two days later

The idea of each other tormented each other. The morning after when they all had to leave, Y/n and Shawn hugged goodbye and exchanged phone numbers. Five minutes after parting ways, Y/N wanted to text him.

Shawn felt the same way, and he let a couple hours pass before calling her.

They texted and called each other non stop. There was no stopping them from keeping in touch with each other.

One week later

The idea of each other tormented them.

Two weeks later, they finally decided to meet up. The sight of each other lit their already on fire insides. Y/N ran to him and they held each other tightly in a hug.

« hey » Y/N beamed up at him.

«  hey best friend what’s up »

«  I broke up with Brandon »

«  Are you okay?? »

« Yeah »

«  Well I remember you telling me you were unhappy about him back at the beach, but what led you to it in the end? »

« I think I love someone else »

« Really? »

«  yeah »

« I think I love someone else too. Actually, I’m sure of it. I was somehow sure of it the moment I met her. »

« Me too. »

« I love you Y/N. »The two kissed. The fact that in that one night, they met each other and fallen in love each other was pure magic. It was a very rare thing that happened almost never. Love at first sight is very unbelieved nowadays because of the overuse of it in Hollywood, but it remains existent. Shawn and Y/N were like Romeo and Juliet, but they were going to have a happy ending.

 what do ya guys think??

[eloarei]

Tagged by @chocochipbiscuit to post my current WIPs. Thanks, Choco! (lol this is going to be self-indulgent and painful XD;)  (As with Choco, I also have more bits and blobs and ideas than I know what to do with, but I’ll focus on the ones that have a remote chance of ever getting finished.)  Active WIPS (I have at least opened the document in the past month and I honestly intend to finish them this year.)  In order of recently modified: OP CM BB -- "One Piece, Cobymeppo, Beauty&Beast" I mean, it's kind of what it says on the tin: it's vaguely a Beauty and the Beast AU. (Factoid: this is at least the 3rd or 4th fanfic I've written based on friggin' B&B. It's my favorite fairytale and I'm weak.) Currently at 12.5k (when did that happen?!) out of, I dunno, 18k? I honestly never intended to write this. It just sort of happened-- and kept happening, which is the weird part. I'm liking it though. Factoid #2: there are a lot of dogs in this fic. JD LLW -- "Jak and Daxter, Love Like Winter" 100% inspired by the AFI song, I won't lie. I've been meaning to write this for at least 7 years. I have a lot of thoughts and headcanons about the Jak and Daxter series, and this incorporates my hardcore favorite: Daxter is a Precursor. It also uses a couple tropes I love: reincarnation cycles, and fated lovers. As with any song, I can't say what it's actually supposed to be about, but I always heard it as the story of, well, reincarnation and fated lovers. "I met my love before I was born", and then switching between he, she, and then back to he. The story became very vibrant in my head! And this format especially allows me the opportunity to explore Jak/Keira as well as Jak/Daxter, because while I'm not a huge fan of Jak/Keira, I don't like just ignoring canon if I can avoid it. Currently at 7k out of... maybe 20k? It was supposed to be a lot shorter, but I'm only on chapter 1 out of 3, so less than 15k is probably not happening. Factoid: I think a lot of people only know this series second-hand, so I feel the need to mention that Daxter does, in fact, have a human form. XD FO4NV -- "Fallout 4, Nick Valentine" A very creative document name! XD; The story will probably eventually be titled "Same Heart" unless I come up with something better. It's a Fallout4 AU(ish) centering around Nick having been recaptured by the Institute, getting a memory wipe, and then living there during the years when Shaun is being raised there. Eventually, he and kid-Shaun break out to explore the Commonwealth and try to find Shaun's parents. I swear it'll be a Nick/Nora story if I ever friggin' get to that part, but right now it's mostly a Nick&Shaun story. Currently at 30k out of, I dunno, 70k to 100k? It's on chapter 7 out of 17, I think. I have this one planned out pretty well chapter-by-chapter, so of all my fics it has the best chance of actually happening. (Aside from the length, which sort of counts against it. It was supposed to be shorter, but I apparently couldn't shut up.) I'm thinking about focusing on this one for my NaNoWriMo, since it has about 50k left to it. Factoid: I get more emotional about parental relationships than I do about romantic ones, despite the fact that I LOVE romance. Stories I write about parent-child relationships always end up being my favorite. BttF On Track -- "Back to the Future, On Track" The only one I've actually started posting. I feel bad because I meant to continue writing this through December and January, but I got lazy and distracted, so it didn't happen. The season is just about right to jump back into it though (Fall is a more BttF season for me), so I HOPE to finish it this year. Currently at 18k (holy shit, seriously?) out of probably 30k. Chapter 3 (out of 6 well-planned chapters) is aaalmost done, but I might have to go reread some of IrisBleuFics stuff to get back into the mood of it. (Or maybe Rae's or Edgebug's.) Factoid (actually a question) : does anyone else have seasonal fandoms? Inactive WIPs (there are lots of these, so I'll put them under a cut for you. Still, these are only the ones I’ve worked on in the past year. Again, from most- to least-recent.) 

HP GOtG -- A silly Harry Potter/Guardians of the Galaxy fic I have like a page of. I was mentally explaining the concept of fanfic to someone and this... happened.

HPCM Ways to Live -- Another One Piece Cobymeppo fic, and AU (or UA) about if Luffy had never met Coby in ep.1 and skipped right over to kick Morgan's ass in Shells Town. tldr Coby and Helmeppo become pirates.

FFXV parents AU -- I was REALLY into this one for a while, got a couple thousand words and a good plot outline on it. It's Final Fantasy 15 AU (or, as usual, a UA) in which Noctis is only a baby when the empire attacks, and teenage Ignis and Gladio have to run away with him, and end up raising him on their own. I 100% intend to finish this one, but it's not top priority at the moment.

A modern prometheus -- A magical-world retelling of Frankenstein. Probably gay.

FO4 WFM-- "Fallout 4, Waiting for magic" On the day the bombs drop, Nora's husband is still at war, while she's several months pregnant and working on her legal cases from home. Her friend Nick Valentine has come to give her some documents and check on her when they're suddenly ushered into the vault and frozen. AKA the romantic adventures of Nick and a heavily pregnant Nora out in the Commonwealth. (Inspired by an Ace of Bass song)

Fo4 Sky-- "Fallout 4, Skyrim" Basically a riff off the previous story, but not the same at all, somehow. Set in Skyrim, Nora is essentially sleeping beauty. Wait. Snow white? Er, yeah. Magically frozen in a coffin, yeah. 

MEA Avi -- "Mass Effect Andromeda, Avi: a sci-fi ghost story" REALLY thought I was gonna finish this one, but I got distracted from MEA altogether. The story of Avitus Rix and his SAM unit, which has begun to think it is the late Macen Barro, its previous owner/partner, and Avitus' longtime boyfriend. Still can't decide how sad I want it, but it'll be pretty gloomy even if I go with a happy ending.

DCo side story AU -- A modern mini-fic about my DamselCo characters going on a double date, except Addisson and Hunter are both late so it's just Ellery and Isabelle being kind of awkward.

FFXV Dear Fellow Traveler -- AU, Prompto was raised in Niflheim and meets Noctis and the others on their (very long, winding) trip to Noct's engagement. Promptis, no war.

FFXV mermaid AU -- More Promptis. Noctis fishes up mer-person Prompto. They have adventures. Ignis has to go looking for Noctis later and meets mer-person Gladio.

OW Sagittarius  -- Eheh, posted the first chapter of this in January and then just gave up. XD;;;; I feel so bad. An Overwatch teenage McHanzo AU, where Jesse is a centaur sold into slavery to the yakuza. Trained by the Shimada clan, he falls in love with the heir, Hanzo, who then helps him escape. Many years later, they meet again in Overwatch. I have a GOOD plot outline for this, so I really have no excuse for not finishing it. It's on the to-do list after the first few.

FFXV Firstborn son -- Question: is a person still consider a trans-person if they're born female, but both raised as and identify as male (because patriarchal bullshit)? If so: trans-Noctis, Promptis fic.

FFXV Mirror Sword Shield -- Yet another FFXV AU, obviously inspired by that one Coldplay song that I love. Hundreds of years ago, Noctis defeated the darkness, but was sealed away inside the crystal, only to return when he needed to do it again. Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio have trained as his guardians all their lives, for the slim chance that he does return. (I really like this idea, but if I write this one, it'll only be after I finish the other FFXV fics.)

OW BB -- Guess what? Another "Beauty and the Beast" fic, Overwatch flavored. Except it's really more like, "the beast and also another beast". McHanzo, of course, featuring a snarky dragon spirit that constantly taunts Hanzo about his guilt.

BttF Ashes -- Hot damn I gotta write this fic some day. I have a GREAT plot outline for it, following a chiptune song called Ashes. I love it, it makes me cry. It's a Back to the Future AU, about Doc dying when his house burns down. Years later, ghost-Doc teams up with Marty to finish the time machine, and then (spoiler alert) Marty goes back in time and saves Doc, pulling his corporeal self into the future ala The Mediator and they live happily ever after the end. XD

PacRim Redefined -- Another one I feel bad about, because I have posted most of what I have written, but I don't know if I'll ever finish it. It's a far-future semi-AU about Newt and Hermann. TBH it's one of my favorite fics I've ever written, but I'm a loser and can never finish anything. Hopefully next year??? I've got much of a plot outline, so.

Bttf Dino prompt -- Braincoins prompted me last year to write a fic about Marty and a dinosaur, and I started to! But then I had no idea where I was going with it, so I stopped a few pages in. ^^; I'd like to figure out an ending to it that isn't both boring and bleak.

Bttf Solving for X -- A series of short AUs about if either Doc or Marty (or both) were women. I'd like to maybe work on this one again sometime.

HxH AU Laughter Lines -- A Hunter x Hunter fic that makes me cry when I think about it XDXDXD Based on the Bastille song of the same name, it's an AU in which Gon is like... a tree nymph. A little hard to explain, it's a sad little Killugon fic, and it should be pretty short, so I ought to just sit down and write it one day.

BttF Thirst for Romance -- I love this idea! Why haven't I written it?! In his 30's or 40's, Marty is a nurse at a convalescent home/ hospice, where he meets Doc, who loves to tell wild stories. He tells Marty stories about adventures that the two of them had in the 80's and with time travel. Everyone assumes Doc is just very creative and lonely, and they love his stories. He and Marty become close, and when Doc passes away, he leaves his meager possessions to Marty, including a mysterious set of keys which unlock his old garage, and a strange old car inside... (Really want to write this one eventually!) (Based on the song of the same name.)

BttF Hell Valley -- A sad AU, taking place in the Hell Valley timeline from movie 2. Marty has run away from his abusive step-dad and finds himself living in Doc's garage. They're just two broken people trying to get by. Marty wants Doc to run away with him, someplace far away, but Doc has a better idea, if he can get it to work. (Inspired by the song Fast Car, the sad-sounding Jonas Blue version. "You got a fast car. Is it fast enough so we could fly away?")

BttF SG fusion -- and last and possibly least, yet another BttF AU, but a fusion with Steins;Gate, because time travel is not complicated ENOUGH, I have to make it WORSE. In this story, Marty is raised in the dystopian future with the goal of going back to the past to kill Doc Brown before he can create time travel. I liked the idea a lot, but to be honest I think I even confused myself with it. I'd sort of like to keep writing it, but it'll take a lot more effort than I can foresee me wanting to put in any time soon. Tagging: (if I can remember which of my friends write) um... @braincoins, @nomadsky, and, uh... I know that more of you are writers, so just... take it and pretend I tagged you!