#the point is. that she does understand!! bc she was kind of functioning as the father

[palukoo]

The Great Lie (1941)

[telanadasvhenan]

thinking more about the psychological aspect of solavellan, and before I start, I'd like to stress that this is NOT CRITICAL of it, I actually think it's what makes part of the dynamic interesting. My word isn't the be all and end all, however, this is just my musings on the topic :] Also, REALLY long post! so, more under the read more lol

From Lavellan's point of view, I would personally struggle to see her trusting another lover or close one again for a long time, if ever again. I don't really think people ever talk about the real impact of the things she goes through, or what solas put her through, and the hurt as a result of it. The relationship is never defined between the two of them, it's always spoken about in vague undetermined words from their companions and poetic elvish between the two of them. Are they lovers? companions? partners? it's really up to the player. Leliana says that "you were close", Sera says Lavellan is "in it." Vhenan means home, heart, it's not a word said lightly imo and he tells you he loves her by their second kiss. It's never an official thing, so how secure can Lavellan truly feel?

This could go both ways when it comes to the break up. Crestwood, as a scene, is so interesting to me because the first portion seems like a man brought to his knees by weakness for the woman he loves. The two of them never cease to touch, fingers entwined, shoulders brushing, skin to skin. It's so reminiscent of how Lavellan matches his Hallelujah cadence. They're two parts of a song singing together. It's a gorgeous scene and it's understandable how so many are angry at how it ends because the whiplash between how it starts and what it leaves you with is severe. Imagine this from lavellan's shoes.

You're desperately in love with someone at odds with your people, who is wonderful and enticing and smart. Loving solas feels like loving the whole world, like being free and connected with the stars. But you don't know what this is. And, if you thought you did, how far can you presume? Is Lavellan always on edge, scared to love him deeper and richer than he loves her? or is she in a false sense of security, assuming his affection is forever hers. So when he not only breaks away your faith and trust in your history, plus potentially the vallaslin, she is clearly deeply upset. This isn't a minor fact that simply can be swept aside. The vallaslin is important. And Solas, even with the best intentions, has hurt her. He knows it and there's a reason why he apologises (bc he wimped out on the real truth). How much more does he know about her people that he has refused to tell her or kept from her by omission? Can you imagine the embarrassment, the utter humiliation of that secret? how many memories of them together where she replays his distaste for her people in her mind, knowing that he has access to knowledge that could change her perception of her past? Its ALOT. and thats even before the breakup.

Solas is not kind about the break up. It's rushed (impulsive to me) and doesn't do their connection justice. His composure cracks in places and it's very unlike him. It absolutely blindsides the player, so imagine being in Lavellan's place, AFTER THE VALLASLIN? personally, I wouldn't have been able to function. I half suspect that a sad, calm Lavellan is also in shock or disassociation. Because how else do you cope? The lack of communication between them alone is enough to raise my eyebrows. He promises answers. He confides that she saw through his mask and doesn't tell her what was real, and what was fake. He has given her a kernel truth whilst keeping her in the dark. Everything he told her could be a false, imaginary polite mask or it could be the truth. Where does it end? Where does he begin? Where does she stand?

I don't know if everyone has experienced what it's like to be ghosted or for a friend to simply disappear one day, but it changes you. I say this as someone who has both been avoidant as well as anxious, but you never recover. Someone disappearing like that makes you doubt any reassurance that people won't just evaporate from your life. So when Solas just disappears, the game's single conversation with Leliana feels a little lacking to me. I understand that they can't really dedicate a lot to it, I get that, so I'd like to fill it in. At first, it's search parties. Solas wouldn't just leave her like that. He promised her answers. He started another mural just before they left for corypheus. He didn't intend to just leave, surely.

Days, weeks and months pass. The question is worse than the truth. Is he dead? Did he use them? Was he being truthful when he spoke to her in those ruins, or another polite mask he could hide behind? Is it better if he's dead or better than he didn't deem her worthy enough to even say goodbye? We, as the players, obviously know this isn't true, but she doesn't know that. Does your lavellan assume the worst and be overcome with grief that her one love, her heart, her home, was nothing more than a lie of omission? or is there anger there at his betrayal of her trust once more? I seriously doubt it was easy to forget or dismiss. That kind of disappearance ruins your trust with people. Something. Anything would have been enough.

Again, this is all my opinion on how these emotions would play out and DEFINITELY NOT canon nor do they have to be! But I seriously struggle to see how Lavellan could even come to heal from these wounds within even a two year time skip. By the time of trespasser, almost everyone has left her side. She's almost entirely alone again, save Cullen and Josie (and leliana if she's not divine). And thats okay: they all have rich lives to return to. But that must just reaffirm to her that no one will stay. She is alone. How does she trust again?

And then there is Fen'harel. Lavellan's reaction to fen'harel has always lacked the fear I kind of hoped would be there? I mean this isn't just a minor deity, this IS THE antagonist of her entire faith. I'm assuming that she's lost hope in the gods, even though it's confirmed to her that they're real, but that message has been a part of her since childhood. So learning that he is the dreadwolf, again not from him, but from the fragments of his past must cut her deeply.

Her love was never who he said he was, she knows this, but who is the real man? She's never known him in a context where he can truly show her. Her love is fragmented between each identity he holds. Her trust that he is who he said he is fragments with it. The knowledge that not only has he been watching the inquisition, her, for years without a single hint that he lives or is okay must destroy her. Could you imagine how insignificant you must feel to him? And he essentially affirms to her that yes, in the greater scheme of things, his love and hers are inconsequential. They cannot matter to him because he cannot strive from his path. His indulgence was a mistake. And it's undeniably cruel. I love solas and I cannot argue that he was kind to Lavellan because he wasn't. To me, there is no way to see his actions as kind. Understandable, absolutely and definitely without malicious intent.

Lavellan learns that he loved her just as deeply, if not more. He loved her with all his heart and it did not matter. She changed him and it has only brought him more pain. He loves her too much to even allow her near him, to even give himself that weakness. They are apart from each other in an endless distance, only the two of them in the world. No one else.

Obviously, each Lavellan is different, and I've made a lot of assumptions, but I think it's worth considering. How do you love someone again after all of that? How much can you rebuild your faith after what you have learnt. Lavellan has loved a "god" (I know he's not a god, but for all intents and purposes, he has the power of a god and wears an evanuris crown.) and in turn, a god has loved her. And he left her with one last embrace that will leave its mark on her forever, then he leaves once more. Lavellan is alone.

Each love after is met with suspicion, distrust and comparison. Lavellan is entirely changed. How many pieces of her can be taken away until she is no longer herself? Each person wears a new mask she cannot determine. Where do they begin? Where can she find herself?

How lonely it must be to love someone like Solas and be at the other side of an endless distance.

[thatdeadaquarius]

PART 2 - Genshin Impact SAGAU / Isekai: Gifts to Give Your Allogene!

ELEMENTS HERE: Dendro, Hydro, Cryo, Geo

Part 1 / Part 2 (you're here!)

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Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU / Isekai Stuff, Platonic Cuteness

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, a couple sentences for each

Stars: a little bit of everybody as of Baizhu/Kaveh update! including rare beloveds like Aloy! (I hope I got them all… at least the playable ones… ) Please understand that some characters are more “foreground” characters and have more screen time so I may have written some more for them because I knew them better!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: weapons for gifts?? 16+ Older Teen Audiences Advised, light cussing

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& Trigger Warnings: None Known.

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Edit 1/1/24: Hey I expanded on this in my Eldritch Fanfic Post Part 2, but I just wanted to vet the old posts and say I did do a form of exoticism by including the word "Huangdi" throughout this.

I've since replaced it for better readability with "Emperor" but I didn't want to erase my mistake like it never happened. I'm genuinely sorry about this, I never had ill intentions by including it, but regadless of intentions that's the impact of my actions. I'm absolutely going to be looking out for kind of thing in the future/get a sensitivity reader/a beta read from that culture to check me.

I hope you still enjoy my writing and can understand.

Dendro Allogenes:

Tighnari = with some help again to put magic into it, you give Tighnari some head coverings you sewed together that have the power of Cryo in them! So now he can actually see what plants are out in the desert, visit Cyno, or just enter the desert to his heart’s content, which, yes, his tail started unconsciously wagging after you explained what it was. “Oh! For me? Well I’ve taken to avoiding the desert if I can because of… wait a minute, you say it has cryo in it? What? How does that work?? You think it’ll genuinely help me in the desert?? You made it???” Tighnari’s ears are all twitching with excitement, and he’s holding the covering (that matches his clothes/dark green) like it’s a new plant for study, omg he pulled out his magnifying glass and everything-

Collei = so she’s actually a really good seamstress, and makes plushies a lot, esp for kids! but one day you found one of her first attempts, a ragged looking sort of pale pink bunny… her first attempt at a plushie Baron Bunny!! so you decided to mimic her design (still baron bunny but with a sort of Sumeru-like clothing on it), and sew her one! You made a whole day of it, eating together, going to the best spots to sightsee (for as long as Collei was up for it/not too tired) and then gifted her the plushie Baron Bunny! She accidentally let out a small scream that startled both of you tbh, and then snatched that shit so quick lmao, kicking her feet on the picnic blanket and everything! With your permission of course, Collei then tackled you for a hug lol, she ranted about all the little details and made you tell her several times over how you made it so she could make some more in the future too! She may or may not have talked about missing Amber and teared up… but then you redirected her attention to the bunny saying, it’s like a gift from Amber and you really! (you also added a function where, if you squeeze the Baron, it’ll dish out some healing power and some heat! …Collei tackle hugged you twice for that one)

Alhaitham = what a hard person to get gifts for, he’d probably be like “thanks” no matter what you got him 😭, he means it tho, it would just be underwhelming… but on the bright side, he definitely seems like he’d show a deeper appreciation for handmade gifts! Since you learned how to make one for Yoimiya, you decide this calls for another handmade hammock (also bc Teyvat doesnt have hammocks)! You painted symbols like green crystals and geometric patterns, but also lions and a golden Palace of Alcazarzaray for Kaveh, and your symbol, the eight point star (like the four point but with flare/not like the jewish symbol with equal points lol)!! So that way he can keep lazing away, and avoid people more comfortably lmao, and also if he is going to do that, he doesnt have to sit on rocks or hard structures for hours reading, and you hope it’s encouragement for him to spend time outside/take a break and nap! (Haitham knows that’s part of why you gave him this, even if you didn’t say it, and so he makes a point to do that more often to make you happy, take the advice for his health) oh look, after thoroughly looking at your craftsmanship for 10 minutes, you got a smile in addition to a “thanks”, damn, that’s actually how you know he likes it a lot <3 :)

Nahida = you remember vaguely from Nahida’s storylines/friendship levels that she loves games, and so you collect her a nice deck for Genius Invokation TCG! You also made her a cute bag and container for it, her bag is a rose maple moth crocheted bc really this was an excuse to just make the cutest character in Sumeru look even cuter, (like this, i tried very hard ok, bc this doesnt exist yet, im shocked) The first image is most correct, (imagine the face and stuff is cuter/simpler) as that’s also the backpack part! Her eyes were so big when you handed it to her, (you honestly were shocked they even could get any bigger lol). She jumped up and down excitedly with the backpack on (ur fucking heart, just like you intended, the wings flapped around and everything <333) you are also currently working on a luna moth (the pale green moth) in case she wants it to match her outfit more! even tho Nahida insists something handmade once is enough, you can see the childish yearning in her eyes, like a kid trying to say no to a toy that’s being offered right in front of them lmao

Kaveh = pretty girls deserve pretty things, and you were definitely feeling the pressure to make something high quality enough for Kaveh, tho u know he’s sweet enough that he’d appreciate anything you’d take the time to handmake (and tbh.. it sounds a little arrogant, but ur hoping something so cared for by what he, or at least most people see as some kind of all-powerful god above the archons, will boost his self-esteem/confidence in his own worth more, or at least let him know one more person cares about him…) so you didnt make it super detailed, and you put a note on it too to let him know your not as great at that as he would be, but you made a model of the part of the teapot house you’re going to design for him! Like a sort of sneakpeak, you made a small lookalike of Alhaitham and his house, but filled it with decor like if Howl didnt hoard all the cool shit in his room in Howl’s Moving Castle, but instead spread it out, and sort of used your modern taste for layout, (not the ugly ass corporate aesthetic) and a small garden. You also made nearly all the decor and stuff something interesting (like some primogem strings, they can be pretty small, for string lights, lampgrass from Mondstadt that he’s never seen etc.) and while you very shyly handed him the model at first, he was practically vibrating with excitement!! “You made this?! Oh of course I don’t expect perfection, it looks wonderful so far, especially if this was your first attempt!!” Kaveh has like sat down, and is delicately holding it and looking around, and when you tell him it’s an actual space, meant for him, he gently sets down the model and grabs you by the shoulders, “Show. Me. Now. …please?” looking at you with very determined puppy dog eyes lol

Yaoyao = …idk what you expected. It was so obvious. A crocheted bunny backpack. brown, so it matches her, since her basket was brown, or you could leave off the feet, whichever u prefer, and anyway, Yaoyao is always doing things for others, so the little girl was so cute and pink when you actually gave her something instead! (once again, using ur old trick of making the person think u need something then shocking them with a handmade gift instead hehe) She IMMEDIATELY switched it out for her basket and has pretty much converted to using it full time! (tho when she needs the more solid one she’ll still wear it, she just alternates, esp if there’s some occasion she’ll deffo wear the bunny backpack, it’s her “fancy god-made bunny backpack!”)

Baizhu = the doctor isn’t one to talk about himself a lot, so you weren’t sure what he would like other than some new tea… but you wanted to make it yourself so while you were a little disappointed it was just a basic pet gift, you wanted to maybe put a little extra into it so maybe Changsheng will use it and Baizhu will think it’s cute! You crocheted a little pet pod/cave for her to hang out in (imagine this but a Jueyun Chili hehe) and it also has a little crocheted vine rope so the little Jueyun Chili cave can be hung from things, or even tied onto Baizhu’s apron/hold it like a purse! That way Changsheng doesn’t always have to drape across his shoulders/has somewhere to retreat! When you shyly showed Baizhu and Changsheng, he literally clapped, so did Qiqi lol (he usually does those tiny smiles… but this one was the brightest most genuine you’ve ever seen, even in game…!!) You find that Baizhu’s eyes look like that type of person’s eyes were they just look like “happy”, like there’s a little fond sparkle in his eye. Changsheng was all like “about time I got something instead of him! I’m basically an assistant too y’know! …thank you very much, my Emperor.” (if you’re NOT squimish of snake pics, pls look at this cute smile Changsheng would give)

Hydro Allogenes:

Barbara = …so even Barbara was a little hesitant at first, but came around to the idea after some convincing, and some encouragement (and showing her she was capable of it) but you basically ….may ….or may not have… found a loop hole for her being a catalyst? So, thru a lot of persuading Barbara to train with you and Childe (who also thought it was amusing to see such a young girl who’s literally a nun and a singer do this) you got Barbara to make water bombs! Like her circle of notes that float around her when healing, she sings and gestures and similar to her ult, (but like Childe’s E-skill it just switches between the two), the notes fly out and explode in the direction she sings/aims! You wanted to remind her of her old dream of being recognized, and wanting to help in battle in a more combat way, and besides, you’re sick of women getting regulated to the healing magical role in games/anime fantasy, so yeah. You and Childe are literally evilly giggling to each other in the background as Barbara sends quater notes and lines of music that explode (like how water can sharpen and cut things like Childe’s blades? Yeah he taught her that) so intensely that it cuts into the Pyro Lawlachurl, bringing it to its knees- Barbara accidentally cuts its head off as the finishing blow. While she gasps in a little fear, but mostly shock, Childe jumps up and down and starts cheering.

Mona = got sparkly eyes, nearly snatched the gift out of your hand, you made her some awesome earrings from the character banner wishes! All pretty ombre pink and blue they swirl and look so pretty framing Mona’s face, she only wears them on special occasions despite your claim of everyday use, they also help her figure out where the clearest view of the night sky each night but glowing brighter and brighter when she gets closer to seeing clearly, Mona is almost? weirdly envious?? for her past self that had to suffer thru all the inconvenient cloudy nights lmao

Childe = like anon said, a new pair of knit gloves, using the fur from the snow king boar! he’s amazed they never wear out now, and he totally uses them as an excuse to hold your hands all like “I just can’t get over how soft they are, feel them, you did amazing comrade! even better than some Snezhnayan shops!!”, exactly what you expect he’s leaning into your face and everything- 🙄

Xingqiu = an ao3 account you had a hard time with Xingqiu’s, afterall, he’s from a wealthier family, so he can get mostly what he wants, and you don’t wanna just get him another book… so you kidnapped him to Inazuma! (idk if this is canon, or happened in an event or smth I missed idfc) So, you also kidnapped Albedo for this trip, so that Xingqiu could actually see the impact his writing made overseas! While you intended for this trip to make Xingqiu feel better abt his writing, (and to help Albedo feel appreciated too, despite him not expressing much low self-esteem in his art, compliments heaped upon him def cant hurt, plus u can see him go pink too hehe) you also wanted to surprise him with a author book signing! If he was up for it, of course, which he “I absolutely, definitely, certainly am, my liege!” Kid’s practically hopping in place, as you get him all ready for his book signing (and not rlly Albedo bc he’s always fucking perfect, u dont have to do shit, even his messy hair looks nice 💀) …you also may or may not have given him some hair decorations (to help his asymmetrical cutting, not that it looks super bad, but for a change at least)

Yelan = …it’s official. You are intimidated. It’s only pretty hydro women and Ayato from here on, on your “Gift List”. Needless to say, like a few other allogenes, you wouldn’t know shit about this woman if you didn’t read her lore… it’s not a fine replacement, you don’t think, but with (lots of almond tofu, and osmanthus wine too) dev access to help you, you created another bracelet for Yelan. Inscribed (just like the heirlooms) inside simply says “You Are Not Alone”, with your eight star symbol following after (like a four star but with some flare, and also not the Jewish star lol), it glows an otherwordly gold, a contrast to the bright blues of the other bracelet. Its function is a geo shield, to protect Yelan and any teammates nearby when it’s activated, she can also leave the shielded area in one spot, so she can do her e-skill and still protect people. You’d just casually asked her to meet up with you one day in that teahouse you know she runs for intel, and when you presented her the bracelet, she held it delicately, saying nothing as she examined it, reading the inside. A small smile tugged her lips up, and she slips it on as she sips her tea, “…Well, I’ll have to show this to present this one to the family shrine, I think this more than makes up for the heirloom I failed to keep. A replacement from the Guide of Teyvat themselves… Thank you, my Emperor, for this handwrought gift you bestow upon a mortal such as me. …and thank you, for not leaving me alone.” Yelan bows a little in her seat, sharp blue eyes more softened than you’ve ever seen her, trained on yours. Her hands are together in that same praying motion that gives you the weirdest sense of deja vu…

Kokomi = so you don’t know much about her, as the it seems the character lore for Kokomi you can remember was… lacking, to say the least. Hoyo definitely plays favorites, BUT YOU DON’T!! At least when it comes to gift givining so everyone feels appreciated, you got a pretty book (handmade or bought) and got it/made it kinda small, like the size of the book in her idle animation, bc turns out that’s her diary of sorts. You know the priestess feels if she expresses any opinions that her people will just take her side, or her word as… well, a divine priestess, the weight of her title you suppose. She also keeps track of how many spoons she has! Like what things drain her, and what things make her feel better (big social interactions vs. reading a war treaty book by herself for example) So you made her a bullet journal! (here’s one of my favorite bullet journal youtubers, here’s a flipthru of her completed journal) you didn’t fill out the whole thing, just some example pages, to show her the possibilites! …you were kinda worried bc she turned away at first after delicately accepting it, and since it was just you two, she allowed herself turn back around and start excitedly chatting your ear off as she leaned in- and wow. Kokomi’s eyes really are, dreamy, like cotton candy… and they’re so much prettier when she smiles…

Ayato = …you know exactly what to do. Interrupting his busy schedule (and only actually taking one day out of it actually bother him so he can have the others as a secret vacation hehe) to come over to the Kamisato household and homemake some boba drinks for him, Ayaka, and Thoma to try! Mostly Ayato tho, you got all the syrups, the milks teas, the boba, and luckily, were able to get some help from Xiangling in experimenting in making… popping pearls! (they’re edible boba pearls that are actually filled with juice/syrup flavors and burst on your tounge when you barely bite them! they’ve very sweet, and Inazuma definitely didn’t have any different pearls other than tapioca, those squishy black pearls you see in his regular boba tea) …Ayato is literally holding your hand like he’s about to drop to one knee, this man is down bad for boba (and you) and… are those tears?! Is he tearing up?! “I can’t believe… THE Akitsu Mikami… blessed me, personally, with boba?? With NEW boba teas and pearls I’ve never even seen?! …Thank you, my beloved emperor!” Mans has quite literally gotten on his knees, but bc he’s so tall, he can still comfortably hold both your hands in his bigger gloved ones …Thoma is desperately trying to get Ayato up, Ayaka is getting onto her brother in the background.

Candace = it’s not exactly a traditional gift… but the reason Candace doesn’t wear a lot of her jewelry or finery is because of the hard job she has as a Guardian/in the desert, so you figured giving her more things she can’t even really wear wasn’t the way to go.. So instead! You gather a journal or advice from Ningguang, Keqing, Yelan, Zhongli, and all the others in the Qixing who were willing to help you, and kidnapped Ganyu for a sight seeing trip! (since u and Ganyu has that whole “in between two very different worlds” bond) You brought Ganyu because you know if anybody would be good at managing something/getting it started (like the music fest back for Lantern Rite… that I missed bc I dont understand how lantern rite works 😭😭😭 VIOLENTLY SOBS ITS BEEN 2 YEARS AND I HAVENT GOTTEN A SINGLE LANTERN RITE U GUYS-) it would be Ganyu herself! …and to also give her a break. See Aaru Village suffered from little to no economy before Candace finally negoiated with the elders to let Sumeru merchants travel into town/buy from them/sell to them, but she’s had a rough time keeping the old coots from being dicks about it since, …and it’s also hard to convince the younger generations to come back after many wanted to see the outside world because of this… So what better what to solve two birds with one stone?? GANYU!! And all the economy and business advice you could gather form Liyue! You hope that the village flourishing (and helping Candace cut down on shady merchants) would impress the older generation, yet also get more money in the town so they can dress it up a bit more (like fixing unsteady bridges, also u kidnapped Kaveh to help revitalize their cultural architecture buildings back into life/or help make the simple buildings just prettier) Now Ganyu and her are besties (Candace rlly needed another friend besides just Dehya alone to come out and see her in the desert) and the adepti was very willing to come visit her and Aaru Village to help the economy maintain its footing/run smoothly, and Kaveh also comes and works on it/checks on her/the village! …When you initially showed all the plans to Candace, saying it’ll impress the old by bringing back old designs/architecture plus interest/satisfy the younger generations to know their hometown is advancing and make it more appealing to come back to… The Guardian puts her shield and spear off to the side, she lowers her head, and greets you, bc u kinda just started rambling without saying hello- whoops- , “Salaam aleikum Qore, **I have already become the first Guardian to have been blessed by the gods, to receive this Vision was the only aid I could turn to in trying to help my village, my community… but to be blessed once more? I would never have dared to dream, let alone the Ogdoad Qore… I am grateful on behalf of myself, my village, and all of King Deshret’s people. …truly, I did not expect a gods eyes to turn favorably upon us since my ancestors’ time. Thank you, my Qore.” You just give her a smile back, she taught you the return phrase, so you hope it’s appropiate, “Waaleikum us salam.” :)

Nilou = This woman is consumed by dancing, other than keeping the peace (well, within reason apparently bc she’s okay with a coup-) but you’ve heard how hard it can be on dancers, how plenty of them have to have strong muscles to perform consistently. So, using adepti magic, you’ve enchanted this minakari you’ve painted (a type of metalwork that’s then painted by artists, on Earth countries like Iran, India, Afghanistan, Pakistan make them) like the teapot! It’s a small island that has a dance studio, and more importantly, a spa with hot springs, a sauna, and a room full of medical supplies dancers would need like salves, heating/cooling pads (using pyro/cryo), and space for stretches! Overall, just a place for her to get away from all the people and to heal her body up for the next performance, and after getting it all prepped/packed up with supplies, and showing it to Nilou… she literally had her hands over her mouth the whole walk around the rooms and showing her everything. Nilou had already been shocked you’d painted her a minakari piece, let alone all this! Like some others, she was quick to drop the formalities, and before you could even say “I hope you like it!” she was wrapping her arms around you and squeezing as tight as she could, tearing up and saying how happy she was that someone understood how hard dance can be on the body and how hard it can also be to take care of yourself, and how she can’t possibly show her gratitude- wait a minute. She’s pulled back and gripping you by the shoulders, not even bothering to wipe her eyes, before she swears to give you a dance every year with all the culmination of her work as she learns and makes newer and better dances!! <3

Cryo Allogenes:

Kaeya = horses so he’s actually a calvary captain- you actually wanted something that’d emphasize the handmade part of the gift, to really let Kaeya know somebody out there really cares about him, cares about him in the way that they’ll sit down and think of an idea and think of him, and then work for hours, sewing, drawing, crafting something just for him, to happy about. You make him a small, pocket sized photobook, and have a picture of every person who cares about him in all the slots, and near the end, from his last birthday where you gathered everybody together to celebrate, is a photo of Jean, Klee, Albedo, Sucrose, Venti, Rosaria, Noelle, Amber, even Eula, Diona, Mika, Barbara, and Mona came! But most importantly, you got Diluc to host it at Angel’s Share, and after some convincing, got him to get in the picture, you’re slightly off center, sandwiched by Kaeya and Diluc, where Kaeya is mid-laugh at the center, having just seen Diluc’s embarrassed face. It’s the last one in the mini album, and each photo has an even small message at the bottom, giving Kaeya a message from everybody, just for him. At the very end, with the group photo just before, is one of yourself and him posing together, you having taken him out roaming Mondstadt for the perfect picnic spot, just to give an excuse why you wanted a picture with him. And at the time, he found it a little suspicious, but was just flustered enough he let it slide. But now, opening and unfolding this tiny album, full of smiling friends and caring words, Kaeya gives a small, watery chuckle, you’ve left him a message too. “Take care of yourself Kaeya, because someone out there really cares about you. :) “

Rosaria = After seeing her “nun” outfit, there’s no doubt in your mind that Rosaria is yearning for clothes closer to her preferred aesthetic. So, using your knowledge of punk clothes and modern goth religious aesthetics, you’ve made some pieces for her to try! Some black pumps with metal crosses for heels, yes they’re sharp and this nice shawl with beads, and finally, a nice lacy skirt (no you did not make fucking lace, jesus christ, you’re not a miracle worker, despite the belief of some teyvatians-). All of which, wow, got Rosaria to give you an honest to god… smile. A full, genuine smile from Rosaria… yeah that made all your hard work worth it.

Eula = a book on common manners so Eula is actually great at cooking! So what better chaos to gift to her other than introducing her to Xiangling! Especially since you’ve given the young Liyuean cook recipes from your own world for her to try out, she’s been on a rampage of new things, and so what better new experience than a cook from an entirely different country? You also made a small book of recipes (look up how to make a zine book on youtube it’s actually kinda easy) from your world, different from Xiangling’s because you thought Eula would like different recipes than her. …So needless to say you were then being berated by two chefs for not sharing all the recipes lmao, tho that really just gave them reason to share recipes! Also any new spinoffs Xiangling’s already made from the initial ones you gave her, and now Eula not only graciously thanks you for the recipes, but also her new pen pal! :)

Diona = So, to prep for this gift, you forced converted the Cat’s Tail to a non-alcoholic cat cafe during the daytime, and only in the evenings do they start serving alcohol/cats put up. You also got onto Margaret for hiring a child to make alcohol, so instead have Diona work better hours, and only during the cafe time, so she’s not making alcoholic drinks either. (you also checked in on child labor laws in Mondstadt, and ran some paperwork by Jean just in case) But most importantly, you teach Diona all kinds of new drink recipes to make, like Shirley Temples, smoothies, etc. You even (once again, by getting help from Xiangling and Diluc) made a drink for hangovers, but more importantly, helped her make one called “Sober Up” which magically flushes out the alcohol out of someone’s body, so Diona can finally sneak people a drink that (while still cursed to be well-made since Diona made it) is a trip to drink lol, it’s like a blast of carbonation/electricity to the system and will typically make most people very nauseous (but since magic’s doing it, they dont need to throw up, they’re just sick feeling for an hour depending on how much they drank). Diona nearly cried after she saw the effect on hungover customers, and immediately started sneaking them into her father’s drinks, so now he’s leaning more toward sobriety most days, and after finding out what Diona did, started to talk to his daughter more. The next time you see her, and ask after her father, she just wraps her little arms around your waist, the highest she can reach, you hug her back.

Chongyun = for prep for this gift, you painstakingly, slowly convince Chongyun to accept more and more moments of warmth, like trying some spicy food that’s gone cold, but just away from people so he can be silly out in the Liyuean mountains instead, and to try and use exposure therapy to try and get him used to yin energy/warm/excitable things, rather than the inefficient method of just avoiding it all (as it doesn’t always work/deprives him of so many nice things!! >:[ ). So that way! You can finally! Take him to have fun!!! You haul him (and Xingqiu bc the more the merrier) to go swimming in Luhua Pools, go jumping off all the peaks from one to another paragliding, using cryo to surf down waterfalls, and most importantly, go to a hot springs at the end of the day! Chongyun was worried about them being too hot and activating his yang energy, but you all agreed he had been training to get used to it, so now he when he goes to try it, he just relaxes into the heat. He could feel the tug to get out and run in circles and get excited, but finally, Chongyun could just choose to sit and relax into the warmth with friends instead :)

Ganyu = if I had a nickel for every woman In teyvat who just needs a break I’d be fucking rich …Obviously, a day off. But an ACTUAL day off, with work regulated to others, and unless there’s an Osial level incident 2.0 (fuck his wife, you put Shenhe on duty to protect Liyue just in case) NO ONE. IS. TO. DISTURB. GANYU’S. FIRST. VACATION. IN. DECADES. You get her to show you the prettiest viewing spots in Liyue, and as you go, tell stories from your life on Earth, showing her pictures on your phone (from both the internet and ur photos), to show her how mortal you are on one hand, but then how different you are here, upgrading her weapons and artifacts, and most importantly, her gift, a Teyvat modified cellphone! Albedo and you had been working together for months to try and make something close enough to connect ur two worlds, while introducing him to adeptal magic and other powerful objects like primogems and wishes that you have to help power it, that way the only other person who might understand immediately how it feels to be (literally lol) caught between two worlds can always rely on each other! …Ganyu cried. Yep, tears down her cheeks and everything, “…I- I- don’t even- even know what to say? All this, telling me about your mortal world, helping me get stronger, and now- now this? I may not have much to give in return, other than my company and my bow… but should you ever need me, or even wish for me, I will hold you as steady as I hold together Liyue itself, my Emperor." Ganyu’s smile is so, so, so pretty, and all the prettier now that her soft blue hair and sweet eyes are framed by the sunset, like it’s her own gift back to you.

Qiqi = A backpack for herbs! You’ve made sure to stitch her name into it so in case she forgets it’s hers, she’ll just see her name again, and lots of little pockets so she can carry all the herbs/make deliveries, it looks a little like this but with a goat instead of cow, and some cocouts lmao, literally a “coco-goat” milk backpack! She is now the cutest person in Liyue, everyone agrees, nearly every single person who comes into Bubu Pharmacy gives Qiqi a compliment now, and Baizhu will periodically take a break just so he and Changsheng can coo at her lmao (Qiqi made sure she wrote down in her notebook in big letters next to your name “This person made my cocogoat backpack, remember to thank them during prayer times, and collect lots of fresh herbs for them”)

Shenhe = It’s kind of a lot, but really, at this point, you’ve done more for some of the others so this probably isn’t even scratching the surface of how big of a gift you can give, so why not. Going full steam ahead, you furnish her a house at the edge of town, so that she’s not overwhelmed by all the human traffic/people, but still close enough to make the friends she wants! When you first show her the dining/living room so plenty of guests can come over, and begin to tour her through it, the strongest woman you’ve probably ever known gently holds your shoulders and stops you from speaking, and turns you to face her, Shenhe’s eyes are sharp with observation as they roam your face, and then settle on your own wide eyes. Her eyes soften, and a small smile warms her usual stern face, (idc how tall you are, she’s taller, I fucking promise) as she leans down a little to look at you closely in the eyes, “Thank you for being a kind god. You did not have to be so generous to me, and yet here you are. If you ever feel like you’re an outsider in Teyvat, in any country or company you find yourself in, please, promise me you’ll come here. Come home to me?” ✨💘✨

Ayaka = You manage to get her away from her duties to take her out to Sumeru! Mostly so you can introduce her to Nilou, see her performance, and the flourishing arts that now fill Sumeru City’s streets, and more importantly, a dress you made so she could dance with Nilou + dance on stage, she wasn’t confident enough/didn’t want to dance for a crowd, so it’s just you three or just you two after awhile. Ayaka looks the happiest she’s been in awhile, more so than you ever saw in game, and it’s… almost like a breath of fresh air to see her away from what you felt was such an isolating environment, even after the Vision Hunt Decree was over. For her last dance, Ayaka does so alone, a little after the sun has set, so it’s all blue, and the stars are coming out, finally, you get to see an even better version of the dance she gave the traveler that night. She only opens her eyes at the end, to give you the giddiest smile you’ve ever seen on her, cheeks cute and plumped up bc she’s smiling so hard, and bows to you (Ayaka’s thanked you a million times, but she doesn’t need to, you can feel how happy she is just from this)

Mika = THE BOY!! One of the most boys to ever boy in all of Teyvat!! Your boy!!! :D What a boy, he nearly fainted when you handed over his gift one day, and you had to reach out and steady him, then hand him it again 😭 It’s similar to the Marauder’s Map, since you enchanted it (once again, what’s the point of dev access if I can’t make gifts for my skrunklies?) and since you don’t want it to end up in bad hands/get spyed on, it only shows itself with a phrase as well “I wish upon a golden star, to know this land as well as its player.” and it’ll show him everyone in public spaces in Mondstadt, not private homes, but like the plaza, the church, the Knights of Favonius, etc. He thanks you every single time he sees you for the map, as it’s both fascinating to him to have a proper well-drawn map of the city of Mondstadt (you copied it from the Teyvat in game map, but there were some buildings missing bc they’re more real here/more fleshed out as a irl city) but that just made Mika even happier bc he can go and map them out!! Literally can’t talk to you bc all he’s saying is “T-TH-TH-THANK-THANK YOU ALL FURST-!!!” before running away most of the time lol

Layla = An embroidered tiny pillow for her to easily clip onto her bag/fit in it, and take on the go with her! (this but the text just says “Sweet Dreams Layla ♡” ) that you’ve also added scent to, including some sleep inducing magics, so she’s guarenteed to sleep well and efficiently when she uses it! She blushed so hard you thought she was sick at first when you gave it to her, and she also used the pillow as a shield to hide her face as she thanked you lmao, and she made you a pillow in return! …even if she thinks it’s not as good as yours, both craft wise and function, Layla worked for weeks on it! …lol now ur the one hiding ur face behind a pillow (this but they’re all plants of sumeru)

Aloy = …if you had a nickel for every person you’ve provided with a house, you’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice… Poor damn heroine just got dragged from one world to the next, just as the last one finally was at peace, now she’s here in Teyvat, where nothing’s familiar, the entire world is set up different, people are nicer and more open here, and there’s still threats looming on its horizon. Needless to say, she is tired, and misses her own homeworld. You really wish on her behalf that Hoyo hadn’t done a crossover, but since she’s here, you figure you might as well make it easier on her. You’ve made another teapot-like adeptal magic container, so she can have a place all to herself, and given her a ticket to your own, afterall, if anybody knows what’s its like to get yanked to another world, specifically Teyvat, it’d be the travelers and yourself, and sure enough as time goes one, Aloy becomes closer with you all, and begins to finally feel a sense of familiarity, she wraps an arm around your shoulders the first time she saw you tried to make her own personal teapot place emulate her homeworld. The widest grin you’ve seen on her face, she gives you a squeeze, “It’s just been one adventure after the next, and when we started out, you were just another stranger in a world I didn't understand. But after everything we've been through, I can say this for certain: My bow is yours, now and always. Thank you for the second home, my king.” Aloy says teasingly, laughing at the face you make.

Geo Allogenes:

Noelle = goddamn when will the busy women trend END these poor souls Motherfucker, you’re gift to Noelle was to knight the damn girl yourself. No, but you nearly talked Jean’s ear off for an hour, after gathering evidence (both from eyewitnesses, and Noelle herself, including other knights and Jean herself) about why the literal fuck Noelle wasn’t a Knight of Favonius yet, and why she should be. After genuinely shaking Jean’s nerves a little, she agreed, and finally, Noelle was going to knighted along with any other potential recruits during the testing season, (as people with high reputations, which, once again, using your god status for all its worth, could recommend new recruits) but most importantly… You gave her a 5-star claymore, which, you do have to somewhat work on yourself physically in teyvat now, but your dev access lets you cheat a little (like the cooking meter on cooking dishes, you’re the goddamn cooking god when hosting guests hehe) so you also are allowed to edit it, like adding a Geo-bonus to the weapon itself! When the ceremony for knighthood was going, and pretty much all of Mondstadt came to finally see Noelle get knighted, you made a fun show of walking out where you were hiding and replacing Jean, to knight Noelle yourself. She’s gone completely red in the face, and is starting to sway a little in her down on one knee position, as you gently place the blade on both shoulders, and grin at her as you turn and pull out the claymore for her. She actually does end up falling over, pale as a ghost, whoops-

Albedo = internet access so he can become a fucking god basically the alchemist is a hard guy to make a gift for, another person you’re a little afraid high-quality handmade gifts would impress him more… so you worked hard, and eventually you managed to make three big notebooks for Albedo, one with lined paper, one bulleted, and one blank for sketches (you did the title page a decent sketch of his pretty face smiling and “For Albedo” underneath, and while that one had a picture, the other two had just the words) and you also loaned him your cellphone for awhile, and suggested the idea of a laptop to make for himself, as he already managed to get you connected to Earth’s internet again, that’s part of the reason you customized/made him notebooks, so he could research from the internet and write down any notes he wanted! …wow. you really did it. after explained all this, and leaving him notes about the laptop idea as loose paper stuck inside one of them, you managed… to get Albedo to… smile. At you. Like a FULL smile, pretty lips, wide smile, and flushed cheeks-!! Albedo caught the notebooks you almost dropped.

Ningguang = what do you get the woman that has everything? so you started to think of things that’d make an experience, and after remembering her lore about her making a chess game, you decided a board game would be good! And if you make the little pieces, it’d be one of a kind too! (she’s the type that really loves handmade gifts/as long as you put effort in it doesnt matter how “bad” it looks to her, she’ll believe it’s still good <3) …So you made a Teyvat version of Monopoly. You figured the business part would be in her realm of expertise, and maybe she could use it to play with business associates or friends, and of course, she’s a competitive woman, so she thinks it’s great, and even asked permission that a marketable version be made (one that’s not nearly as nice quality as hers from you obviously)! Ningguang also treated you very well as a thank you for making it for her, a nice dinner at Liuli Pavilion, with a useful gift of places you haven’t seen in Teyvat yet bc it’s more expansive now that you’re physically here!! You may have gotten over-excited about it… and she may have chuckled at you… and you may have gotten flustered after she rested her pretty hand on yours for nearly half the dinner as you stuttered thru and explanation of the game…

Zhongli = …what do you get the man that has everything (ningguang problem 2.0)?? Well, since you thought of something for her that was an experience a little bit, yet also one of a kind, you figured the same path for the previous God of Wealth/literally invented money/etc. would do, plus he’d the type to deeply appreciate handmade gifts too! Using a few chunks of Light Realm Core, 3 Masterless Starglitter, 1 Intertwined Fate, and 1 Condensed Resin, to make a nigh indestructible Ginko leaf hair pin, which also to replace his last pin, which while not broken, was getting old and beat up (he’s immortal he doesn’ notice these things unless they’re like magically long lasting items lol). But in a few spots are these peach beads like this instead of all white beads, like on the ring both have symbols of longevity, and are usally associated with immortals, you wanted to make something that’d also hold memories (hence the resin, from leylines) so if the erosion ever took him, Zhongli could hold the pin and see some of his favorite memories played back (like misty glittering gold projections)! When you told him all this, the materials, (he obv knew the symbols) and the intentions, and then handed him the gift, his soft smile got bigger and bigger, until you could see him small fangs (❤️‍🔥) and then he turned around? You were confused, until he look over his shoulder, his eyes flashing gold in the sunlight, “Will you do me the honor, my Emperor?” OH- you unclip his old geo cor lapis one, and pull his hair up into more of a low bun, and put the hair piece in. the golden ginko leaves chime softly in the breeze. The old god turns back to you (idc how tall you are, he’s taller, and he had to crouch a little so you could reach lol) and gives you that blinding, beautiful smile again, the kind that makes his eyes look warm and happy. He takes your hand delicately, like you’re made of something fragile instead of stars and magic stronger than any he’s ever seen, “Truly, you bless me too generously, my Emperor. Thank you, for caring for a forgotten god like me, for caring about my heart.” …Zhongli presses a soft chaste kiss to your knuckles, right on the middle finger’s knuckle, his lips are warm and so, so soft, like they’re barely even there. <3

Yunjin = a bit difficult because she’s so theater focused in life, but you figure since she does solo shows a lot, she’ll still be the one to benefit the most from your gift, you made some floating plaustrite lanterns to help heft some platforms for more stage space/cool effects! (this but a little more detail, you painted some bamboo and a few simple adepti on them) Like putting props up there or lights to aim on actors, or even actors themselves since the floating rock is steady enough! Yunjin practically squealed (which immediately made every actor in the vicintity be like “YUNJIN!! UR VOICE WILL GO HOARSE STOP-”) and gather the whole troupe to thank you! But she especially told you that although she already intended for you to have front row seats every time you came to see her plays, she especially wanted to get some stories from your life, or even just your favorites from Earth for her to perform for you!! (she even suggested that one of the platforms could be your special seat, like an opera box seat lol)

Itto = you know that belt buckle he wears that’s just an Oni head? Yeah, you made him a second belt but with a onikabuto beetle as the buckle instead! (kinda like this) but a small enough it’s not inconvenient and poking his stomach, which you definitely got a Inazuman blacksmith to help out, you mostly painted it, and when you show Itto the belt, mans literally just wraps his buff arms around you like a hug but then just starts spinning you rapidly, and lets out the highest pitch “EEEEEEEEEEE-!!!” you’ve ever heard him make (and you’ve given him a few trinkets before, so this is a new record wow). No, it doesn’t matter to Itto how much you weigh, have you seen his abs?! He says as he’s still got you a little off the ground, and is now walking away with your limp body and wearing his new belt, “This, and a proper meal to thank you are the bare minimum, my wonderful emperor! Come on, the gang’s already there anyway, you gotta try my Granny Oni’s food, and I’ll make something too! My best, most special, sandwich, Way of the Strong!! Y’know, because if anybody deserves it, it’d be the strongest, and sweetest, you!!”

Gorou = since teyvat isn’t exactly the pinnacle of advanced civilization, though there are some advancements sure like the Kamera, there are still a fair amount of things that’re just left up to locals to produce and make using whatever process they’ve got, regardless of efficiency, and one of those is soap. Yep, soap. Earth is more advanced when it comes to beauty products, but also hygiene products, and Gorou has a hard time maintaining his tail he’s said when he’s stressed/overworked. So, you used some knowledge from your interdimensional smartphone (love u Albedo) to find a homemade recipe to make soap! (…for dogs, but you don’t know if he’d find it offensive… so you don’t tell him LMAO) and you even made it a cute shape (just so when you handed it over, he’d open it and of course, go all red all the way down his neck even, hehe, (he secretly liked it)

You towards all of Teyvat, except it's not even their birthdays (idk if u want it to be it can)

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PLEASE LET KNOW IF ANY LINKS/PICS ARE INACCURATE FOR A CULTURE/MISLABELED ETC.

Me after writing all this:  _」(´ཀ`」 ∠)__

… so I may have hyperfixated a little too hard on this one.

Did the OG asker want this? …probably not…

Did anyone ask for this?? …no.

…did I do it anyway….…yes.

…sorry?

(I promise I only thought to do this because there are so many characters left out in favor of the more popular ones for most SAGAU posts, and bc i never want any of my babes to feel any less loved than any others if I was actually there in Teyvat… you get… this mess.)

sorry!

☆

Safe Travels,

💀♒

☆MY BELOVEDS☆

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[loveandlegacy]

ngl i think there are a lot of cool/interesting things to say about the sex scene between jayce and mel, but i am not wild about justifying it by pointing to its plot relevance. its presence IS justified, i just think the furthering-the-plot argument is using the wrong framework to understand the function of sex in media at all and kind of belies a deeply conservative impulse about what sex is or does or what it's for in art. and like i don't really blame anyone for this. i think this attitude of 'well it has to be plot relevant to be present' particularly in film is born partly out of a reaction to a long history of film & tv having gross attitudes about women and very unpleasant assumptions about roles in sex.

in tv in particular, hbo comes to mind as having been the only prestige network for a really long time where nudity/semi-explicit sex was permissible. and like while it was/is permissible, a lot of hbo productions deploy sex in a way that feels deeply unimaginative and misogynistic. obviously hbo isn't the sole culprit. the whole concept of the male gaze was developed bc of film's treatment of women, and the games industry stacks on top of that by being so misogynistic in its sexualization of women that it feels like a joke. so i get why people balk at that — i do too — but these media properties and outlets shouldn't be the gold standard for sex in media anyway and the solution to them shouldn't be "well sex is only Allowed when it serves the very utilitarian and quasi-calvinist purpose of furthering the plot".

if nothing else, sex is an important part of life and connection for many people. including it in art to demonstrate or reflect that fact is ideally something normal, or could be if we in the united states could at least deconstruct our neuroses about sex. my one friend always says that sex in itself is a kind of character study, which is valuable regardless of how much it furthers the plot. you can even see this with jayce and mel! people joke a bunch about jayce being the little spoon and not to be like too annoyingly into close readings of a sex scene but the entire arc of his encounter with mel tells you a lot about both of them as people that arguably could not really be presented in any other context. mel initiates but she does so in a moment of vulnerability, right after talking about her family, a major pain point in her life (and not lol after she supposedly like...bamboozled him with Sexual Allure and alcohol or whatever people say). jayce follows her lead for a while (she kisses him first, he is happy to have her push him onto the bed) and eventually breaks from this pattern to go down on her, not to demand something for himself.

either this says something about him as a person or says something about gender and expectations for sexual courtship overall in the world of arcane. like in our world men who "submit" (lol) to women's sexual desires or who give primacy to a woman's sexual interest are still framed kind of as a joke in mainstream US culture even though 'mean mommy dommy' jokes abound on the internet. but is that also true in piltover & zaun? is jayce the exception to the rule or is he in keeping with the rule? we kind of don't know ironically bc we have no other information about in-world sex in the whole of season 1. even with the brothel, there are open-ended questions: is trading sex for money illegal? is it illegal in piltover but a weird grey-market activity in zaun? what kinds of sexual mores exist in piltover, zaun, or both, and what relationships to people have to them? vi describes the brothel as 'the one place where all the secrets are spilled' and that seems like it's in keeping with how civilian clients are about sex work irl in the united states but that's more or less all we have to work with.

i'm not saying arcane should seek to answer all these things or to deliver a complete taxonomy on in-world sex and sexuality. the story is dealing with other themes. it just seems strange to me to laud arcane for it's skill in efficient but well-textured worldbuilding and then to abjure the possibility of the presence of sex outside of plot-relevant reasons when sex would tell us as much about the world as the touch that smoking is a sign of power in the undercity.

if the concern is that somehow any non-plot-sex would be too gross in its treatment of women, i guess i would say that it was amanda overton who advocated for the sex scene in the first place, not alex yee or christian linke. so like why not trust that she may be capable of writing/directing further instances of sex without defaulting to something unpleasant?

and if the objection is "well i don't want to be made to feel horny in an otherwise non-horny experience" my answer would be that the point of sex in media can be communicative sometimes, not always titillating. going back to jayce and mel and character studies, i wasn't (and i don't think most people were?) suddenly horny during that scene. i thought the literal art direction was weird, but mostly what i took from the scene about these two characters was that their mode of relating to one another was actually very tender. it cemented that mel was falling in love with jayce, and that the we the audience were supposed to understand their sex as sweet, not particularly provocative or designed to fulfill an assumed sexual fantasy on our behalf.

but there's also no reason to assume that any two other characters in the story would have sex in that tenor, even if they were in love. there's no reason to assume that any two other characters might NOT have sweet sex outside the context of love. the only way we could know that is if it were to occur on screen, and getting a greater diversity of sex and sexual encounters on screen requires the audience to be open to sex not just as a normal part of life, but as a semiotic object in art that has value beyond driving the plot forward.

tl;dr it's nice that the sex in arcane had some greater impact on the plot mechanics, but i don't think that's the primary value of its presence and i'm glad it's there with or without it mattering to the plot. it's unlikely but i hope s2 can give us a fuller picture of how other characters relate to sex as well.

[aingeal98]

hiii i consider u a cass expert and since this has been eating at my brain for a few years at this point; do you have any thoughts on the way cain's poor excuse for parenting impacted cass on more of a cognitive/developmental level? like children need stimuli of all kind that she clearly didnt get even outside of literacy and social interaction and i think its super interesting to explore how cass has complicated relationships with things most people take for granted (like... did cain allow her to have any toys? to play any games other than the "two for flinching" thing? does she struggle with the fine motor skill needed for writing bc she really didnt have smth similar? omg is she ok?? i want to peel her like an onion so badly) sorry for brain vomiting over here i have thoughts and feelings about cass cain and its incurable

Anon you've come to the right place for incurable thoughts and feelings about Cassandra Cain! And you raise such a good point like there's no way Cain's abuse didn't leave her with more than just aphasia, illiteracy, cptsd, all the emotional issues... OK well he left her with a lot of stuff but still! You're definitely right that there's more. I'm no expert but one thing I know how to do is ramble about Cass, so:

In flashbacks we see young Cass doing a jigsaw of a rose in the dojo Cain's raising her in, which makes me think he did want to find ways to make sure her cognitive skills functioned even without words. Of course this is just me theorising but in terms of toys I think he would have carefully selected things that would stimulate her brain and improve her motor skills even without reading and writing. The image of David Cain carefully buying Jenga and Operation and making sure all the packaging with words on it never reaches Cass is now permenantly stuck in my head so thank you for that.

I do think she was definitely deprived of a lot though, and things like the jigsaw were clearly meant to be filler stuff for her before the actual fun games like "getting shot and dodging the next few bullets". I don't think Cain would have ever wanted Cass to be relaxed and comfortable enough to actually fully enjoy playing with toys, you know? If she was actually able to find things like jigsaws meaningful and fulfilling then his conditioning of her to associate getting shot with "fun game of dodgeball" wouldn't have been as successful. Cass may not have liked two for flinching but she did love the fighting and the dodging. Any thoughts of "why am I in pain when I could just be playing Jenga" would have never been allowed enter Cass's head. Which would be easy enough because (understandably so given the isolation) Cass looked up to Cain and got joy and fulfilment from seeing him smile. He doesn't care if she finished the jigsaw other than getting angry/worried if she fails. Whereas being able to assemble and break apart a gun while blind makes him light up with happiness/pride. So naturally, even with Cain making sure her brain isn't TOO different for her not to be able to function as the perfect weapon, she would still be deprived of important cognitive skills and stimuli.

The writing specific fine motor skills would definitely be impacted imo because while her training makes sure her hands can work a massive variety of weapons and probably permenantly injure a man in multiple places with each finger, writing is such a specific task that only comes naturally to us because we learned it so young. It can be learned later in life of course but the natural act of holding a pen and writing would feel so alien to Cass. And that's before you factor in her dyslexia like no wonder we only saw her pick up a pen once 😭 Cass being able to write the alphabet with any sort of ease and lack of intense focus would be a massive accomplishment given David Cain's fuckery.

And just in general being so isolated for most of her childhood would have impacted her brain so badly like even without the autism Cass must have been in overstimulated sensory hell after leaving Cain. So many voices talking, which she'd never heard before. So many smells and sounds and new textures and sights that are too intense for her eyes to handle. She missed out on an entire world and only got to start experiencing it when she was 8, that's got to have a longterm impact. I think as well as autism Bruce and Barbara had her tested for adhd due to all the symptoms she displayed. Doctors aren't clear if she actually has it or if its something different brought on by her upbringing. She spent nine years homeless and travelling so she's more adjusted than she was at the start but there's still times that the whole world just goes blurry and whoops panic attack time need to find an empty place and hide.

I'll stop here so I don't rant forever but thank you for giving me the chance to yell about head. canons and theories. Cass is indeed the most fascinating onion, and the layers are endless. Feel free to rant in my inbox whenever you want I love hearing other people's thoughts on her!

[baltears]

idk how else to describe this like i think the kind of traditionalist/hyperliteral read of buffy not catching feelings for spike until late s5/s6 just misses the level of iron grip buffy keeps on her feelings. apropos of nothing other than seeing this read one too many times and im not up on my buffy meta scholarship so forgive me if im making the same points everyone and their mother has been making for the past two decades

keeping tight control over her feelings is not something buffy started doing after a certain point, it's a behavior she has coming into the pilot bc we see that at that point there's already a level of emotional distance between her and joyce (not only re the slayer stuff and the later retconned-in betrayal & invalidation trauma from being thrown in an institution when she tried to tell her parents the truth, but also for instance the intensity of buffy's distress over the divorce). she already has a home life consisting of not voicing most of her difficult and 'close to the chest' emotions. when she tries to be genuine in a way that asks for space for her frustration or anger or more 'selfish' feelings, this is often not met with understanding (worth mentioning that giles does a MUCH better job on this than joyce for the most part, but other characters including willow and xander respond poorly a substantial number of times). as a result she is well practiced at suppressing emotions that are too inconvenient or complicated to feel acceptable to verbalize, so she tends to just kind of whistle past things that feel hard to tackle until she reaches a point where she can no longer bear to ignore them. this is a core part of her canon characterization that is also visible at many points in buffy's relationship with angel (s3 comes to mind, when she spends a good chunk of the season operating under the convenient belief that they're in a functional platonic friendship when she subconsciously knows they are still too hung up on each other for that to be feasible). so like we know this is something buffy does. it is not at all unusual for her to feel things that she keeps beneath her conscious awareness + does not allow herself to process and admit to having felt until well after the fact.

this takes me to the oft cited point that from the first time she interacts with spike, there is a different vibe happening than is typical for buffy and vamps. it just feels very obvious to me that from basically minute one (or maybe more accurately from their first fight, when she isn't so much on the back foot) she registers him on some level as a person who happens to be really interesting and hot, but has a fairly easy time of it keeping this feeling out of her conscious awareness bc 1) he's also an unsouled vamp, meaning she can choose to dismiss his personhood as nonexistent and his personality as mere performance or game-playing (ie he is not a 'real' person, therefore the relationship need not be acknowledged as 'real' either – taken to extremes in s6 when she has to actively abuse him and continually reaffirm his lack of humanity and lack of worth in order to sustain the self-told belief that she doesnt see or experience his personhood and doesnt feel a human connection with him), 2) they're mortal enemies, 3) he likes to be really annoying on purpose + as a vampire also has a baseline level of generally acting like a bit of a creep, and 4) for much of their relationship she has other romantic objects on whom she can more acceptably focus her attention (insert reference to spuffy being a queer coded relationship here).

i think this state of noticing-slash-not-noticing persists from 2.03 through s3&4 and into season 5. by then she is so good at studiously ignoring how weird and flirtatious and intense their dynamic has always been that the revelation that spike is now acting very obviously like hes in love with her, to the extent that someone else could notice, takes her totally by surprise. getting more specific idk how else one could possibly explain how her ass was acting in something blue pre-spell, like i absolutely canNOT see buffy behaving like that around any other vamp literally ever. they were both being so unceasingly annoying with their creepy little flirty back and forth that both giles and willow were completely over it and just wanted them to shut up and stop paying so much attention to each other. ig the point im getting at is i think it's weird and dont get it when ppl seem to read buffy's character as if shes basically just saying the things she feels and vice versa rather than like regularly and even habitually lying to herself, bc i just don't think that's in line with the character that we're shown. buffy SAYS for a very long time that she doesnt care about spike and basically says and does everything possible to deny that she has any attachment to him at all, but frankly i think the level of aggression and frequency with which she expresses variations on that sentiment in and of itself gives the lie to that idea. anyways i think she was down bad pretty much immediately and just took a very long time to let herself notice

[yaraaflor]

is there a reason you like dickhelena? what's your ideal idea of a relationship between them - a shorter thing or do you see them working out

omg tell me how this ask has been in my inbox a whole ass month and i never saw it... my bad anon i wasn't ignoring you lol i just never get asks ig. anyways! answer got long so it's under the cut.

dickhelena my beloved... well first of all i do NOT see them ever working out as a like. super long-term married couple type thing. i think their relationship could be functionally good in a lot of ways but they will always have a fundamentally different view of killing and the ethics of it. and i don't think dick would ever be able to fully get past that. like... how do i put this... i think he would be able to get over it TO A POINT out of love, but it would always be a source of tension between them, and at some point the issue would be forced, either by helena killing someone or them disagreeing about somebody else killing someone. i don't think dick's no-killing morality is quite as strong as bruce's, but it's not nothing to him. and i also think he would take issue with the why of it all - like helena killing people bc she believes they cannot be reformed, as opposed to like. idk kory who comes from a different culture and has had to kill her own oppressors.

and also i think bruce would be a permanent issue for them. like helena has a super complex relationship with bruce (and ofc dick does too but he's always going to be loyal to bruce, as his father figure), and bruce sure as hell would not approve of their relationship. which, dick wouldn't let bruce just trample all over his love life, but. at a certain point, having your SO and your family at odds with each other can become exhausting.

BUT just because i don't think they would last forever doesn't mean i don't think the relationship would be meaningful. i think they could have a lot of fun together, if they let themselves, and i think they could make each other happy for a time.

i think a key part of dickhelena is, even when they disagree, they're not incapable of understanding each other. they're both children of gotham who have lost a lot to violence and are trying to help others avoid that. and unlike a lot of the other bats, they both try to maintain an ordinary life and job alongside their vigilante work. they both have soft hearts and hard heads. the way they show it is pretty different, but it's there.

and i mean part of the draw of the relationship to me is the complexity of it. of being at odds about one or two major issues, but compatible in so many other ways. of having a kind of love-hate, flirting-fighting dynamic, and a bit of a messy history. but despite that, seeing the good in each other, and still seeing it even when things are over.

there's something to be said, imo, for relationships that don't work out, but don't end with bad blood either. like it's those relationships that often help people learn and grow, and i think they get overlooked in fandom a lot. for understandable reasons! we all have an otp we want to be in love forever. but for dick and helena, i think of them more as like a 'we didn't work out but it's not because the love wasn't there' type thing. love isn't always enough to make things last and that's important to realize.

....looking back i feel like to a certain extent my answer might not be satisfactory here bc a part of my reason for liking dickhelena is like... i just do? lol. like i love both their characters and i like them together and i think they have a certain chemistry that i can't really put into words. and i understand that not everyone feels that way about them which is fine.

but yah. sorry for making you wait for this anon lol

[theoriginalnikegirl]

I'm finally to a point where im happy with ALL of my animorphs playlists so im making a new pinned post with all of them:

They are all (except one) in the vicinity of an hours length bc i made these to share and i feel like you should be able to listen to any of these in a single sitting, two tops. I feel like you'll be able to tell who's who but I'll provide brief (ish) explanations under the cut just in case you care

While there are six playlists above there is not one for Ax. This is because while Ax appreciates many things about human culture he canonically dislikes music and also I can't even begin to fathom what he would listen to if he did

Meanwhile, Rachel has two playlists. This is because she is my favorite character and I think about her most often. One of her playlists "the original nike girl" breaks my "in the vicinity of an hour" promise but it's also more vibes based than any of the other playlists and the only one that's meant to be listened to on shuffle.

Her other playlist "Dirty Work" is based around my understanding of Rachel's character arc: her death was pointed to in the opening pages of the series and the entire length of the series was an exercise in a whole hecking lot of people (crayak/Drode, Jake, David, Cassie & Marco to an extent, etc) gaslighting her about what kind of person she was so that we could all sit here and say "Oh bUt shE wOUldN't bE aBLe To fUNcTioN WitHOuT tHe wAr" which to be clear is *not more true of her than any of the rest of them*. Yes I will die mad about this.

In Marco's playlist "RUTHLESS" my idea was really to challenge the idea that he coped with the end of the war better than the rest of them. Like, just because his coping mechanisms are higher-functioning than Jake's or Tobias' does not mean he's doing well. The entire series Marco acts like he's fine with the stress of the war and the *whole thing* with his mom but he is pretty clearly never for a single second fine, and personally I don't think that would be any different after the war. And I think I really managed to convey that with the frenetic tempo of this playlist so im really stinking proud of it

Cassie's playlist "to save some lives" has Americana/bluegrass/gospel/folksy vibes and I managed to incorporate a lyrical motif across several songs of going to a body of water and drawing from it until it was dry which convinced me of an interpretation of Cassie's character and role on the team being (what the other animorphs see as) a bottomless resource of justification for their actions which we see when Jake demands she justify creating the auxiliarymorphs in 50 and she finally has to say "okay. Then it's wrong. But we're going to do it anyway" and how that energy might carry her as the only survivor of the war

Jake's playlist "Brother Against Brother" is part of my ongoing campaign to rewrite the beaver book bc CIVIL WAR IMAGERY IS PARTICULARLY SALIENT TO JAKE FOR A FREAKING REASON. Ahem. But I am fixated on how personal and immediate the stakes of the war are for Jake specifically because he literally shares a roof with the enemy.

And finally we come to Tobias' playlist "A Kind of Freedom" which gestures at my understanding of Tobias as someone who wants to be happy at the same time he as he wants to wallow. he wants to sit in his sadness. and he does. And I am not judging him here because I was the exact same way when I was his age (which makes his books very hard to reread now) because he, unlike me, was not afforded the chance to grow up and learn what it felt like not sit in his sadness. Anyways yada yada yada there's a reason he didn't answer when the Ellimist asked him if he was happy.

Anyway, if anyone's read all this, I hope you enjoy these playlists as well!

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

see i take "doomed by the narrative" to mean a character who is doomed (either dead or stagnant with no hope of any trajectory) by the narrative (the nature of the work existing as a story puts unique pressure/limitations on the characters through the medium of choice, where the fact that its a story with a weaker fourth wall is a deliberate choice). Doomed by the narrative meaning the constraints of narrative/genre/medium actively prevent the character from getting out of a cul de sac, and the character pushing against this metatextual boundary is part of the conflict and futility of the exercize. but i see "doomed by the narrative" applied to characters who dont die, break free from their constraints, or go stagnant at all, let alone in metatextual fashions.

what i mean is like. truman and utena are doomed by the narrative in the sense that the narrative is an oppressive force that has put them in a lose-lose situation, no matter how much they object, and the only move left for them is to exit their respective stories. the only things left for them in the narrative are death, or playing by the rules and stagnating. so they bring the curtain down. this is also the intended functions of the truman show and of RGU, to deliberately invoke the fact that the world is a closed narrative and not let you-- the viewer-- forget it, in order to make a point, or a lot of points. The Truman Show and RGU categorically can't be interacted with an audience looking for an experience where they can be sufficiently immersed into a story that they don't need to think about it as something someone else made. (Tangentially, i feel like a lot of shallow criticisms of virtually anything could be remedied by reminding them that the works they complain about were created on purpose by real living people and did not spring fully flawed out of the void.) Thats not to say that kind of story or audience is wrong-- there are countless stories that work better without the looming reminder of fictionalization hanging over someone's head. But it's just-- ugh, you get me. onto another example.

Antigone is doomed by the narrative because the complicated poetry of her small world is of the understanding that this is a tragedy, and the hero of a tragedy must die, no matter how much they try to fight it. The laws of her world are defined entirely amd immutably by the genre it takes place in. The characters implicutly know this. The best thing she can do is die on her own terms. No matter how many times the play is put on, the end result is the same. The characters of the world of OFF are doomed by the narrative because OFF is painfully aware that it is a video game, and many of the characters know it, or at least they know there is a higher power watching it spool out. And if you are an adversary in an RPG standing between the protagonist and his progression, there is only one end for you, and its your HP reaching zero. Finishing OFF means finishing them off. The game has multiple endings but to even get to the end you gotta kill basically everyone. By then its too late. There is not a circumstance where these characters survive bc the rule of the medium does not permit it. This is the category of fridged women.

As for stagnation this is for characters that are by edict of the limits of the narrative are neither permitted to die nor improve their situation nor even leave. They have reached a point of no return. This may or may not be their fault. I think this is a pretty rare character type. Creon also from antigone goes here. Zacharie, also from OFF. Any protagonist of an abandoned webcomic lol. WD Gaster.

i just feel like if ur gonna talk abt a character who is doomed u better actually mean a character who, no matter how many times you reroll the dice, is going to be irreparably fucked. And if its at the hands of a narrative you better mean its at the hands of the narrative, and that its part of the point, an active pressure and limiter.

[woso-dreamzzz]

yk that one meme of the kid smiling with his tongue out… literally me bc you posted alexia’s version first (i mean the poll majority voted for it… i personally did not) 🤭 i feel like this is probably a must bc if you posted jenni’s version first it would become my only canon… and then i’d think about everything that happens in the jenni version while i read alexia’s. also i feel like this was a punishment for the jenni agenda raiding your house time and time again (know that, despite me furthering the jenni agenda, i only knocked on your door nicely! but i guess i added to their attack by sending u the long asks loll)

alright, here’s my sorry disclaimer again bc i always feel like i’m being annoying sending u the longest message ever

starting this part with bambi’s overall confusion furthers my point from last time! she’s a little girl and would likely choose her current favourite but still 🥺 it’s important to have her included or at least informed (probably by eli, because she’s the best at being unbiased) by everything that’s going on. justice for my girl. thinking the door’s grown and the intrusive thoughts about the doorknocker? the recurring mental notes that jenni’s gone back to mexico? poor bambi’s overcome with anxiety and this should have been avoided by letting her know what was going on.

i don’t even know how to express the way i was feeling through the entirety of bambi returning to alexia’s house but it’s something akin to the unsettling fear you get when you know something’s going to happen in a horror movie… and if that’s how i feel… how does bambi feel? it’s so awful that she goes through her own mental checks to try and understand and accept everything as it’s presented to her… i feel like it will further her lack of self-confidence. i hope she doesn’t internalize the “it is what it is” mindset so much that she is unable to discern when people take advantage of her and she’s left to accept the things that happen to her even if it isn’t right. teen!bambi i am watching you. with love and care and kindness (and so i can report back to alba and jenni in case anything happens)

i think i figured out the shattered train metaphor for this narrative—it could be alexia! alexia who’s had something difficult happen to her (ie. her pregnancy and initial stages of having bambi, this entire disaster of neglect, nearly losing it at the sight of her child being intubated—leading to the shattering of the train) but with love and time she’s patched up (by olga and jaume) and she’s able to return back to bambi in the end.

had the train been kept safe, or even now as it’s patched together by olga, it remains ever-present in bambi’s life. i imagine it’s in bambi’s bedroom now on her bedside like it was in the hospital. what matters now is bambi’s perceptions of it—and that’s where i think the doorknocker becomes very symbolic. no one uses it—not alba, not eli, and the only person who seems to notice it is bambi.

bambi is very similar to the doorknocker. we see she questions why no one chooses to use it—it functions the same way as the doorbell after all, and i think that’s symbolic of alexia “forgetting” her and essentially how everyone becomes so focussed on “what’s best for bambi” (ie. using the doorbell) and overlooking bambi’s perceptions/emotions (ie. not using the doorknocker.) idk if i’m making much sense but in this narrative, bambi decides she’ll give some attention and love to that doorknocker. she chooses to acknowledge that doorknocker (she chooses to acknowledge her feelings) and to me that’s symbolic of bambi truly allowing alexia in and letting herself be loved by her once again.

this part works in alexia’s initial decision in injured vii (where she tells eli not to bring bambi back.) it also brings us full circle with olga and her uncertainties about her relationship with bambi. both of them have gone through some developments with bambi and it’s nice to see that this ending nurtures bambi’s love for trains and allows her to spend time with them as an entire family <3 justice for jenni though. dw jenni, i’ll make my way over to the airport and come pick u up.

in the end? you’re awesome, i’ve loved this entire series with alexia, but i’m very excited for jenni’s part. 🤭 also, though i understand alba’s feelings… does she ever come around? based if she doesn’t. but does bambi ever intervene when she’s older? does eli? does alexia try harder for alba’s forgiveness?

also my list of PS’s!

the tulips you added to the front of the house? perfection. they’re for you <3 🌷because you’re awesome! and perhaps one for my other bestie anon. bc you’re awesome too :)

CODI FLOWERS CODI FLOWERS!!!! and codi’s cows! <3

dark red and green. so real of you. best taste fr ♥️

alexia being so sure. SO SURE that in her prime she’d have scored against princesse <3 #1 fan natalia is my favourite too. u have me in the biggest chokehold with natalia, princesse, teeny, pequenita, and bambi 😭 PRINCESSE BALLON D’OR! my goat. THE goat.

also. u putting a long anon tag under those HCs made my day. made my week. made my entire year. made my entire life. i absolutely love all your works so so so much <3

Long anon! Of course you deserve your own tag! ❤️🌷❤️🌷

Teen!Bambi definitely becomes a bit of a people-pleaser. She tries so hard to make everyone proud and it's definitely easy to take advantage of that as she grows up.

I love your analysis of each part! I'm a big fan of the Death of the Author style analysis and I love seeing how you interpret what I've written. I can't even explain how much I love it! ❤️

Alexia and Alba's relationship kind of gets better but it's never good. They can be in a room together and they can interact but Alba never fully forgives Alexia and she's always wondering how Bambi might have turned out if Jenni had raised her.

(Laia Codina is my favourite underrated Arsenal girlie. As soon as I get my paycheck, I'm buying her Arsenal shirt).

(Of course, Alexia believes she would have scored the penalties in her prime. She won't hear a word against it. Princesse's just getting lucky).

[dashiellqvverty]

was going to reply to your post and then it got too long.

newsies was also one of those movies where i was learning what words meant as i learned the lyrics because i watched it so young so that's always so hard to get past.

but i will say i think the changes to sante fe in particular are really great (and i love what the stage version does with crutchie). most of the changes to carrying the banner (although i really miss the section with the mother looking for her son), the world will know, and once are for all are pretty solid. seize the day is functionally a different song, which is fine outside of the softer approach toward scabs across the show. the only changes i fully dislike are in king of new york, but that's also mostly the result of the denton&sarah > katherine shift (which i understand was needed but ultimately didn't care for, especially making her pulitzer's daughter)

that's so fair! i definitely consider myself a movie hater (though really i'm more of. a disliker.) but at the end of the day i simply love talking to people about newsies in all its forms and what they think of it and stuff.

i think most of the lyrics i like less in the movie version of king of new york are less the stuff thats directly related to denton and more just the little individual lines the newsies have - which is the same way i feel about carrying the banner. i feel like the new ones just feel more natural (but also like. of course i do, i learned them first)!

im already forgetting bc i keep pausing the movie and doing other things but i feel like seize the day came at a slightly different point in the story? like the same part of the plot but hitting different emotional beats? so that makes sense that its so different. i'm really interested overall in how the show changes the approach to the scabs (now that ive gotten to the rally scene in the movie i'm like okay so they just pushed up jack agreeing w david about not being violent instead of making it an ongoing conflict) and softens the messaging overall. like despite being a disney movie in the first place, the stage show is much more ~disney-fied~ (which, for good or for bad, i do think is part of why it was so much more well-received) (gonna be real i still have like half an hour left in the movie and i forget how it approaches the ending, so i can't make a comparison yet, but even without the context of changes from the movie, i think a lot about how the stage show kind of undercuts the radical themes of the actual story that is happening onstage by having the Big Messages they SAY out loud be a lot more abstract and wishy washy)

i have always been fond of katherine but again, that was my introduction to the show - i've never had any strong feelings about her being pulitzer's daughter but i definitely don't think it ADDS anything to the show beyond the one moment of the ~shocking reveal~. iirc youve mentioned that her being pulitzer's daughter kind of removes an element of class solidarity? that's not a way i'd thought of it on my own but its definitely a really valid criticism and they very much couldve kept her character without doing that. in fact, it would probably make her more interesting if she was a woman with a career who WASNT a nepo baby.

[ssruis]

I think a ruikasa/wxs howls moving castle au has potential but only if you like. Make a huge mess of the plot. Just really fuck it up. Replace the story/role of several characters with something completely different that you made up.

- Tsukasa gets cursed for kind of being an asshole (to a witch that came into the restaurant he runs w saki. As is his right as a service worker.) (he still does theatre in this au) w something that slowly turns his heart to stone and in a canon typical tsukasa way goes “I am going to solve this problem on my own through sheer stubbornness/determination”, leaves a note for saki like “brb nothings wrong don’t worry about it :)” and goes to hunt down the wizard’s weird fucking castle sighted roaming the nearby wilderness everyone is freaked out about

- emu replaces turnip head but she got turned into a talking bunny with very few of her memories because it’s cute and I refuse to make an au where she can’t talk for 99% of the story. Tsukasa frees her from a tangled up net and she follows him bc she can’t figure out how to break her own curse so she might as well follow this goofy guy and see if the wizard can help her too

- nene as calcifer & rui as howl, nene (a witch) was cursed to die 300 yrs ago after freezing while performing for a (more powerful and significantly more cruel) witch -> rui prevented her death by figuring out a way to give her his own life force/soul/heart/whatever at the cost of her existing as a soul without a body, she keeps him alive through giving him her magic. Hard to explain. Whatever. Fullmetal alchemist vibes? We’re going on a quest to get your body back nene. They’re both functionally immortal but if one dies so does the other. She exists as a flame that operates the castle (nenerobo reference…)

- rui has been attempting to hunt down a way to reverse the curse while also fucking with the government that began cracking down harshly on magic usage after the beloved princess went missing with the evidence pointing to a witch or wizard as the culprit. Idk. Potentially pulling in soul eater inspiration with a war against witches… as a treat… rui interfering on both sides of the fight

- mfw I just wanted to do silly shows with my silly robots and now I’ve been alive for 300 years making zero progress on breaking a curse but at least I can use magic now (rui) vs mfw I messed up one thing and now I don’t have a body and I’m forced to watch my friend run himself into the ground trying to fix what should never have been his problem (nene). Canon typical nene guilt complex/rui giving nene a way to get around her issue that doesn’t help her grow. You understand.

- the kidnapped princess is emu she just forgot

- tsukasa catches up to the castle and enters it (bitch you live like this dot png) and emu discovers nene and drags her into a conversation. They discuss the curses and nene’s basically like (internally) ykw we’ve made no progress on our own maybe if we look into the curses you guys are under we’ll figure out our own on the way. (Externally) maybe having an idiot around will give rui some ideas. In return you can clean this place.

- emunene will be in this au what do u take me for. Emu entertains nene and helps her grow more confident, nene helps emu sort through her memories and more negative emotions.

- the flying over the town scene does happen (rui saves tsukasa (before tsukasa gets cursed) from a bunch of weird creatures created by the witch who later curses him) so when rui gets home and walks into the convo btwn emu/nene/tsukasa it’s essentially

Tsukasa: YOU!???

Rui: hello nice to see you again :) now please leave

Nene: I already hired him as a house keeper

Rui: but we don’t need a house keeper?

Nene: rui those dishes have been in the sink for a month

- plot happens I’m not rewatching hmc to figure this out (lying. I’ll probably do it even if I don’t do anything with this au)

- the cure for the curse for all of them essentially requires personal growth which is why I think making miku a witch that cursed all of them to inspire this/put in motion the events that would lead to them meeting is a funny idea. Not one I’m going to go with but it’s funny.

- the effect of the curse on rui was like… draining him of his passion for shows/inventing and his emotions which tsukasa helps bring back, and rui makes tsukasa realize why he loves theatre so much

- maybe tsukasa actually gets cursed by being egotistical like I will outshine everyone I’m the greatest world future star lalala (is cursed because the witch finds his lack of humility deeply grating and/or is insulted by the implication that this random guy is superior to her) oh shit

- leaning towards the witch being meiko just for funsies although kaito is also not a bad choice.

- drawback of rui using magic as someone who is not meant to be using magic is that the more magic he uses the more he’s turned into a weird bird cat beast (& the transformation back becomes harder and harder)

- one issue I have with a 1:1 hmc au is that like… rui and howl only share surface level similarities. If I wanted howl level dramatics in my story tsukasa would have to be howl which would require significantly more fucking around with the plot because rui would NOT do what Sophie did. Howl can be tsukasa but rui cannot be Sophie. Do u understand. Emunene has potential but unfortunately ruikasa fits the howl/sophie dynamic best. You know? You know. Tsukasa would get cursed and go on a quest and be perfectly fine cleaning the house of a guy who leaves food stains on the counter & never cleans them up if it meant he could lift the curse. I think if rui “canonically hates cleaning” kamishiro had to clean an atrociously messy house (disregarding the fact that tsukasa would not live like that) he would die.

- but rui also would not turn into a pile of slime because his hair got fucked up. That’s a tsukasa thing. Gestures at the card story where tsukasa is Pissed rui fucked up his hair with an explosion. I’m sure somewhere in the au over the course of canon typical rui fucking w tsukasa with his experiments I’ll work in a joke about that.

- I think in general the issue with a 1:1 au is you have to erase too much of the characters you’re inserting into the world to make things happen which is boring. U gotta change stuff. Unfortunately this leads to taking inspiration from like 4 different sources to make things work which is a huge pain in the ass and requires actual planning to create a coherent plot

- together wxs can make this moving castle a moving home :) just kidding they can’t all live together. tsukasa has to go home to saki and emu has to let her family know she’s ok. Also the lifting of the curse gives nene her body and her magic back/gives rui his life force back so 1) they’re no longer immortal 2) rui can no longer use magic (he’s fine w this he basically just used it to make truly impossible mechanical feats happen which he can figure out how to do without magic) 3) this results in the castle falling apart

- rui just moves in with tsukasa and works as a mechanic and nene moves to a nice calm cabin that emu essentially lives in when she isn’t needed to do princess stuff. They probably form a theatre troupe that eventually picks up as well & nene and rui can collab on a new moving castle to travel around if they do desire.

- why is this so scattered you may be asking. It’s because I had given this like 2 hours of thought at 2am before typing this out the next evening and had several more ideas as I typed. Firm believer that good ideas only arrive when you are sleep deprived and have given very little thought to what you’re laying out.

- I want an au that is shorter than the other aus I have so if I elect to actually write something I’ll have an easier time -> oh this is kinda getting out of hand -> god fucking damnit I did it again. Truly incapable of not making an au that has like 30 different plot threads.

[illnessfaker]

i have complicated feelings on "transabled" because well when you first google it what comes up is "body integrity identity disorder" which like that conversation brings up a whole mess of things irt bodily autonomy and anti-psychiatry. i don't think "transabled" is the a good way of articulating that kind of highly complex situation wherein those discussions are relevant though.

but that's different than like searching the same term on tumblr and getting the "transdyslexic flag" where it's like uh okay yes psychiatric diagnostic categories certainly are not these immutable things but that does not mean that simply desiring to have dyslexia and saying you wish you were dyslexic creates any meaningful change with anything nor does it meaningfully change your actual relationship to dyslexia as a psychiatric diagnosis.

this is hard to articulate but the best way of summarizing it is that people keep trying to equate shit to how gender functions just bc it's socially-constructed (like race and "transracial" stuff, when not referring to the term used by transracial adoptees) when just bc gender, disability, age (apparently), and race are socially-constructed doesn't mean they all function the same way.

i'm reminded of that one woman on r/illnessfakers where her situation got to the point where the tissue on her legs was fucking necrotizing. like at that point it does not fucking matter if she had a desire to be disabled/sick when previously not being sick she very much became disabled/sick, and that's only if she was in fact "faking" things. like we're talking about r/illnessfakers these people are horrible and treat random strangers like spectacles to be gawked at and it isn't justified regardless of whether someone is actually faking a condition. fuck that shit.

i used to wish i had something medically wrong with my legs to justify me being able to use something like a cane or wheelchair or crutches but that was before i knew i did in fact have several things medically wrong with my whole body. even now i can find myself in some sense "wishing" i was sicker because there is a false association in my head that means more support/validation when that absolutely isn't true and it's a wounded younger part of me that thinks that. but that isn't "transabled"-ness these are things that manifest from trauma and because i was medically neglected throughout my childhood and thought there wasn't anything "actually" wrong with my body when in fact i was born w/ defective muscles and joints in a way that impacts me in very fundamental ways.

like, it's not as if people can't become disabled. it's not as if disability is an immutable category solely located within the body. but not everything works like gender does just because it's also socially constructed category + drawing comparisons or equating certain things to transness is faulty analysis or a really faulty way of understanding these things even in the case of something like body integrity identity disorder and the question of bodily autonomy.

[a-nice-egg-offering]

The way that Dennis and Dee are so similar and yet have nearly complete opposite personality types is so interesting and important to the fabric of the show no one else is an mbti/psychology buff like me so u probably don’t care but I’m gonna talk about it anyway. So Dennis is an ENTJ (if you break that down in the most basic of ways that’s extroverted, intuitive, thinking, judging but it’s actually a lot more complicated than that and I’m not going to go into it rn but u get the general gist) and Dee is an ESFP (Extroverted, sensing, feeling, perceiving) now in compatibility terms just with how you get along with the people in your life, the best matches are people with opposite first and last letters but the same middle two letters or opposite all letters but the same second letter so based on this Dennis and Dee couldn’t be more opposite unless one of them was an introverted type right so in theory they should clash in every way but here is when it’s nature vs nurture because they have so many of the same characteristics it seems impossible for their types to be so different and yet they are. Because your personality type is made up of your brain functions right and you can be one type while still having an overactive certain function that doesn’t technically align with your type so the way Dennis and Dee have influenced each other despite being such different types is very interesting in the whole outline of their psychology. Another interesting point is that Dennis and charlie are the only intuitive types in the group (ENTJ & ENFP) (Frank is ESTP) and also a pairing that seems to understand each other, charlie is certainly the person Dennis has the most compassion for and I find this super interesting because intuitive types generally don’t feel understood by sensor types and vice versa also since Dennis is an ENTJ and therefore the rarest type this also adds to the feeling of no one in the group truly understanding him and it’s bizarre bc I mean Dennis and Dee are twins they grew up together and tho Dee understands Dennis better than anyone else does there is still a rift between them where she is bad at intuitively feeling what’s going on with him at any given time possibly because she’s a sensor and that’s not naturally how she’s wired. Dennis on the other hand understands the gang intuitively to the point where it’s boring for him because they never surprise him - a reason why the RPG moment was so special and soft because he truly hadn’t been expecting it. This is what Dennis craves and values in the people around him - being able to surprise him. Being an INFJ myself (an equally intuitive type) I feel much the same way and also relate to him in the way that all my friends at school were sensors so though I enjoyed their company I never really felt like anyone truly understood me. I think that can be so frustrating for Dennis in regards to Dee sometimes too because she’s supposed to be his other half and he can read her so well yet she keeps missing the mark with his needs. It was interesting that in DTAMHD the Dee in his fantasy was on his side, knew how he’d react to something the gang did and actively tried to stop them from upsetting him because that’s what he wishes he had from her in reality. I don’t even really know what point I’m trying to make here these are just some thoughts and me finding a way to bring my two special interests together lol. Also just an extra little note Dee and macs types are very similar (ESFP & ESFJ) and yet they can’t stand each other which I find quite funny because as we know the gang is always offended by any kind of mirror so the fact Dee and Mac are so similar is also probably the reason they hate each other so much.

[baltears]

self indulgent titans dickrae meta i wrote to distract myself from the two (2) biopsies i had to have today

so i understand that on a certain level this is supposed to be a 'parent&child coded' relationship but frankly ive said it before and ill say it again their idea of emotional boundaries is absolutely fucking insane and it kind of blows my mind a little that ppl think they act like an even semi functional 'parent&child' vs either a mostly functional if codependent nontrad found family relationship or a VERY dysfunctional parenting relationship. like for one thing shes at a level of intimacy and emotional openness w him that would be more appropriate for a therapist because shes an empath and a mindreader (also extremely strongly implied to have a psychic bond specifically with him but more on that in a second) and therefore has access to all his emotions including his experience of his unhealed trauma. speaking of which she literally therapized him out of trigons control by reenacting his trauma w him after previously having witnessed it via his memories. so like i think its fair to say that IF this were a nuclear family relationship she would be totally emotionally parentified (bordering on something more like emotional incest at a couple points but i think hes more aware of her emotional needs and more capable of treating her like a kid than that term would imply, he just doesnt seem to quite know when exactly it's appropriate). he also offers her a lot of support, but especially early on shes also doing a lot of either supporting him/verbalizing and explaining his own feelings back to him or bearing the brunt of his trauma trigger response to seeing her in the same circumstance he was in as a kid (still cannot BELIEVE the church scene happened, i love it so much, his ass literally kept lying to her and saying he wasn't going to leave and then when she kept dogging him for lying finally snapped and was like "you know what you're right, everyone does leave and nobody can help you and it will never get better and it sucks but thats life" literally toxic excellence i wish theyd stayed at that level of dysfunction for WAY longer). but bc they have their little soul bond thing going on (evidence piles up to the height of mt everest, its literally all over their relationship in subtext and is indirectly referenced constantly even if its never really explained outright) she ALSO gets this weird little privileged status where she's just way closer with him than any of the other kids her age, is his obvious favorite and is trusted the most, and only sometimes gets classed as "one of the kids" rather than "one of the adults" (worth noting also that rachel seems to notice this and repeatedly and aggressively rejects the child role from s1 all the way to s4 despite accepting dick as family by mid s1 and only seems to want 'parental' comfort&support when she feels totally out of control). while we're here shall i note that one of the antagonistic forces of s1 is literally called the nuclear family and is an obvious comment on the found family ethos of the series. okay rant over

[jeniffercheck]

i truly love all of your shiv takes — always feels on point and like you really understand the nuance of her character.

TW/ i know this comes up in interviews a lot (similarities to kendall, etc) but do you think shiv has struggled with addiction of any kind, if so in what capacity, do you think it’s still something she struggles with, etc.

aw thank u so much 😭 i am very lucky i have some kind people who like to come here and talk about her bc i love getting the chance to analyze the show & ramble about shiv and i don't do it nearly enough!!!!!

tw for talk about addiction/drug/alcohol abuse

this is interesting because it's so difficult to just flat out guess with a lot of the context from shiv's past missing!! i have thought about this though and i use roman to contextualize it because the one time we saw shiv being offered cocaine, she already knew she was pregnant so it was a no go, but we did see roman deny cocaine at argestes & we see him pick up kendall when he did meth (austerlitz maybe?), and the only other time we see either him or shiv taking drugs is when they all smoke at shiv's wedding, so just going based on what the show actually shows us, i guess it's unlikely that shiv or roman would have any interest in hard drugs from going through the hardships of having a brother who is a drug addict, and i don't think they really partake too often by the time we see them on the show. that does seem to be a common consensus from succ circles and i do trust that opinion at least for actual show canon that we have seen on screen!

i do think the show would've given us a lot more info if they wanted us to believe she 100% struggled with that stuff in a very serious manner, but there is always the question of shiv's "london grime" days, and we don't know a lot about that either. while i don't think shiv has struggled with addiction specifically, i could see her having turned to drug abuse or alcohol abuse or maybe just excessive partying during that time period. we don't see her drunk very often but we do see her drink pretty often, so i could lean toward the excessive partying thing, especially if she functions pretty well. i don't think that would be an unfair read for her, especially bc we know she can be a little self-sabotaging at times!!