theoriginalnikegirl

[theoriginalnikegirl]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[theoriginalnikegirl]

I unironically think all media should be in the public domain actually

[theoriginalnikegirl]

This is funnier when you realize that it's how Ax chooses to introduce himself to his in-law.

[theoriginalnikegirl]

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

[theoriginalnikegirl]

my 7 year old is currently singing "H-O-T-C-O-C-O, you should make me Hot Cocoa" and I am legitimate impressed

[theoriginalnikegirl]

As Elon Musk cements his place in history as a fascist tech overlord and the rest of the world looks at us in horror, I really do want to reiterate what I feel will be lost to the history books

Nearly everyone in america has thought and continues to think that Elon is very cringe.

[theoriginalnikegirl]

brought to you by a white autistic person saying they can't talk to me because my english accent is """sensorily overstimulating"""". i should start charging autistic people for the audacity.

[theoriginalnikegirl]

Fun fact! Saint Valentine was beheaded, and here is a photo of his supposed skull! (which is kept in a reliquary in rome because catholics are freaky that way)

[theoriginalnikegirl]

[theoriginalnikegirl]

Not to be dramatic but this is a massive fucking deal and I legitimately hope every single politician dies.

[theoriginalnikegirl]

[theoriginalnikegirl]

i think if jessie and james teamrocket transitioned theyd just switch their names and call it a day. or this already happened. this is my one true belief

[theoriginalnikegirl]

[theoriginalnikegirl]

i think what bothers me about a lot of "girl power" narratives is that they function on the implicit idea on the idea that women can become worthy of respect. and i happen to think that really caring about women means believing they already are worthy of respect. that historical seamstresses and soccer moms and forgotten sisters and sweet polite little girls and someone's weird grandma matter just as much as the warriors and politicians, even if they, personally, never accomplish anything "cool."

[theoriginalnikegirl]

imagine becoming friends with this girl--not like, super close friends, just on friendly terms--who seems destined to become an influencer. she's not one yet but she already has a following at the school you both attend and everybody likes her because she's nice to everyone and pretty funny. one day she starts hanging out with this absolute loser buzzkill sjw and at first you're like, fine, it's a good look to shout out smaller content creators, but then they just never STOP hanging out

one day both of them leave campus to go on a day trip and clearly SOMETHING happens, because right before dinner you get an emergency alert on your phone that her loser friend is on the FBI's most wanted list for animal torture? the popular girl's not answering any of her texts, even from her hot metrosexual boyfriend that she has, and no one hears anything until the next day when she goes Live and announces that she got a really big sponsorship from THE PRESIDENT, no followup on that thing where her bff apparently was a terrorist this whole time

the next few years are really scary because the terrorist keeps evading capture and like, commiting so many atrocities and the details always end up getting leaked. you're terrified in particular because duh, you went to school with that psychopath and apparently she was doing all these terrible things and turning into some freaky three eyed snake when you weren't paying attention. the one spot of joy for everybody's doomscrolling is the popular girl. she does an adread for the government at the start of all her stuff, but the content itself is just like. hauls and GRWMs and makeup tutorials with the occasional day in the life sprinkled in, which is always nice to consume after another horrific news cycle.

she gets engaged to the hot metrosexual boyfriend from school eventually and does an Engagement Reveal bc of course she does, and it's...really weird?? hot metrosexual fiance leaves abruptly halfway through and then the whole thing turns into like. this bizarre apology video, with crying and everything, only she doesn't give specifics or context AT ALL before it's over and she goes back to doing a mukbang with some of her fans and your old principal, who probably got her that government sponsorship. apparently some crazy shit happens to the country after that but you weren't really following it bc you were too busy talking with your friends about what the FUCK was up with that engagement annoucement. you all go back through her history to figure out what problematic thing she might have done but you can't find anything, other than being friendly with the terrorist chick when you were all in school. obviously she couldn't have known about the terrorism back then, so it might just be drama farming. she's a pretty bad actor

except she doesn't post again for a few days, which is worrying since she's ALWAYS followed a super strict upload schedule, but the country is pretty much on fire at that point, so. when she next posts you're pretty excited, because maybe you'll get an explanation for some/any of this, or preferably a sequel drama video

instead she tells you that the terrorist chick is dead, the president is. resigning? leaving? also dead? and he never sponsored any other influencers, which means she's president now, and after she throws your old principal in jail she's gonna teach everybody how to be nice

[theoriginalnikegirl]

I'm constantly impressed at people's ability to stretch anything to fit an acronym, but it's extremely impressive how well that fits.

[theoriginalnikegirl]

Support and uplift chinese queer creators and their fight. There is hope for an even better tomorrow.

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