#the photos oversaturate it a little actually

[lonepower]

the other roses i ordered finally came in! it was a very wet day planting them but the warmth was nice. they don't smell as strongly as stabitha does but I'm obsessed with that color

[lovetogether]

In defense of, or “who’s afraid of aeomorphs pooltoys and T F”: notes (you could say) on the fetish community.

Ever since we were young, about tween age, we’ve been deeply fascinated by the online fetish community. Not bdsm or any of that though, we were much more drawn to the unnatural, the unobtainable, whatever you may call it (insane?). We had first encountered all this through classic vore, we’ve since grown a muted feeling towards vore, almost as if we had been oversaturated with the stuff, it’s nothing to us. Nonetheless the stuff fascinated us a kid, we’d google search and tab to images constantly, memorizing every photo that came up first, noting specific artists, learning about sub cultures, what have you. From there we just kept on discovering new things. inflation was big of course, TF especially caught our eye. TF meaning Transformation Fetish, this art left us completely entranced. We wanted to know all the intricacies, all the reasons to make what we now saw on our screen, the reason one may - as you know - get off to this? Sexual desire was foreign to us, it’s always been. It feels detached from meaning to us almost, a scrambled up mess of a concept we’d rather examine from a true analysis way than in a mocking or disgusted way. We’re not disgusted by it, we had used to be ace sex repulsed but we think this was a side effect of viewing so much sexual content, to have to overlap into our actual real life upset us to no end, it was meant to be secret. We also didn’t like being desired, actual sexual acts confused us and didn’t interest us, somebody coming on to us felt like a breach of trust, we of course quickly learned we were ace. Our sexuality was ours and ours alone, only we understood ourself if even a little. Our journey through online spaces molded us, we grew completely dissociated from any other form of sexual activity. We were only interested in the unreal, because with it came so deep fascination, something tangible we could explain to ourself. TF was wish fulfillment, an idealized self if only to, feel good, and that made sense. It goes without saying as an even younger child we read animorphs and ended up deeply affected by the detailed transformation scenes written out, but that’s neither here nor there. With the phrase furry comes an assumption that one enjoys this ridiculous fetish content, we understand why, we’re in the community and in no way agree with labeling a whole group, but fetish is undeniably an important facet of this group. TF, vore, inflation, macro, micro, objectum, it was all part of this. Aeromorphs are a type of furry, anthropomorphic planes, most of the worlds introduction to these furries was through fetish art, people often gawk and instantly assume it’s fetish when they see it, I don’t blame them. Cause well, it often is. With sexuality and fetishes comes this underlining idea of impurity or “breaking the rules”, like it’s unjust, taboo in an almost evil manner, we hate this too! Fetish is not to be assumed of as inherently evil, people freak out when they discover a creator has a fetish, or have this gag reflex to any idea of the sort, this is bad. People say don’t equate everything to sex but the truth is the act of rejecting libido is in of itself a rejection of humanity. It’s sad to us an expression of passion is seen as something which needs to be behind lock and key. Of course there’s actual concerns, like grooming, but one does not equate to the other, and there’s grooming in almost every community, it’s a wide spread rot which does not come from somewhere specific (and we think this scares people, but it’s the only way to combat it). Lately we’ve enjoyed pooltoys, the easy going look and an ability to just “let go”, it’s nice. We think the added fact to all this that we’re ace and do not apply a complete sexual lens to our interests may put some at ease but don’t get us twisted, we’d want only respect even if that wasn’t the case, for us and all in these communities. Fetish is deeply rooted, it’s been around longer than some would even think, traces everywhere, this voyeuristic desire. We think we have what’s best described as a post modern look on fetish art,

[agapi-kalyptei]

Color grading micro-tutorial 2

What I love about extracting stills from video footage is that you have a lot more leeway to make mistakes (at the expense of your hard drive space), and a lot more potential for happy accidents.

I'll have plenty of cloud footage to showcase in later tutorials, so let's focus on a simpler thing now - original on the left, potential result on the right:

At this point I should note: the goal here isn't to make anything _impressive_, but it should be joyful. Doing these grades takes me generally 30 seconds to 3 minutes, and I think about it as memorizing the joy of being alive, and an artistic exercise, and not building a portfolio, so please don't take these as "wow these are sooo impressive, never before you've seen a photoshoppéd imàge".

Once again, the first step is to try increasing brightness and contrast just to see what detail is hiding in the photo, and then once you explore, reset those, and proceed to draw some dramatic curves:

Actually remember what I said about happy accidents? I realized that just one frame further in the footage, the horizon looks a lot more dramatic (right side; already graded), and I like that better, and I prefer it to the current frame (left side):

Or if you want; untouched initial state (left side) versus the previous finished grade (right side):

Now I'll do something I'd never recommend with proper, sharp footage - increase Midtone Detail to 100 not in one, but in two consecutive nodes, and also increase Gamma to about 1.07 to brighten it up while keeping the dark parts as they are.

Left side: double-sharpened (notice the grain), right side: without sharpening.

Next up: add a third node, crank the Midtone Detail to 100 once again, and add one of favorite effects for beginners to overuse: Glow. Most settings are defaults, Shine Threshold, Relative Spread Green and Blue adjusted.

Left side: our existing adjustments, with 3x Midtone Detail at +100, right side: with the Glow effect applied.

Cheesy? Yes. But visceral. And I like how it starts to feel like a watercolor painting. Next, let's add some hmm... Power window. Let's see if a hint of cyan would do it good.

First, add a new node, add Gradient power window, make it point down, and crank either of Lift/Gamma/Gain/Offset to some ridiculous color just to see how it affects the image:

Remember, a lot of art is much less about getting it right on the first try, and much more about making quick iterations, a lot of very small "mistakes" that are easy to undo and adjust and learn from.

Cranking Gain to cyan removes a lot of the definition from the image (left: previous version, right: with Gain adjusted). I'm not a fan.

I don't like this, so I lower the luminosity of the Gain. (Move the slider wheel under Gain to the left.) That looks somewhat better, but still feels like the blue is oversaturated - more so than before.

I lower the Saturation from the default 50 to about 12, and move the Gain color a bit further left towards green. I also make the Gradient a bit longer, so now it goes almost all the way down. This gives it a lot more grayish, graphite watercolor look which I like, but I'm not sure if my heart's fully in it (left: prev, right: desaturated):

It feels less like a vibrant sky, and more like sitting with your feelings and pretending to be a rock underwater. ⛅ There's no mistakes, there's just depressing little accidents. ✨

You know what? Let's put a little color back though. This is the gorgeous thing about incredibly soft power windows: You usually can't tell they're there if you're not looking right at it:

& when you're feeling creatively bankrupt, it's time to reach out for some cheese!

No? Yes? OK maybe a little of it.

Then all it needs is some tasteful lightning for the early 2000s desktop background feel.

nah, just kidding

My computer crashed hard 3 times as I was trying to apply Prism Blur in the next step, so I think that's a sign that it's best not to overthink and over-process a photo, even if it was the original intention. But as a little treat at the end, you can use the same grade to look at the rest of the clip and realize how absolutely inhumane it is to have midtone details set to 3x100%

[snifflesthemouse]

In Other Words seemed to be the best title for this...

Hello, my lovely readers and friends!

This author sure hopes this post finds you all much better than it found me when I started writing it. Nothing is seriously wrong at home, in the real world, right now. It’s just that I had to actually watch these first three episodes for me to really be able to speak on them from my perspective.

Since there is SO much to unpack, digest, and consider, this author has decided to do a post per episode to really give them each the attention they all deserve. There are things in there I saw that many probably never thought to look and see. There are things I overlooked, too. Which goes back to the first paragraph.

I find it interesting that none of the episodes on the series have titles. I guess Meghan and Harry are the only ones allowed to have titles over at Netflix? Meghan and Harry used very precise days to make the focus all about them, and yet again we all fell for it. But, as we grow sicker and more tired of these two, I know that soon, it will all be over for them. This model cannot sustain, and they will become corsairs focused on ravaging and destroying each other next once they run out of ammo for the Royals. Even this series is “limited”. But when you have a limited subject… I am being mean, I know.

The first episode has a little summary blurb that says, verbatim, “As Harry shares the impact of a childhood in the public eye, he and Meghan reflect on the secret, early days of their unexpected romance.” So, even their blurbs and summaries reveal their hypocrisy (and their obsessions with secrets). Insert a fresh meme where Harry says being in the public destroyed his life, yet he’s actively throwing his own children in front of the camera.

We get some disclaimers from Netflix right off the rip. Before we see a person or picture, we are told that this is “a first-hand account of Harry & Meghan’s story, told with never before seen [sic] personal archive.” What that really means is Meghan and Harry have been recording for this since before they signed the deals. They were filming in March of 2020 before ever signing a deal with Netflix in September 2020.

It now makes sense why all these places just jumped into bed with these two. They had to show something of content to score these deals. It says all interviews were completed by August 2022; so, from their first date until August of 2022, they’ve been videoblogging for Netflix.

The next disclaimer says. “Members of the Royal Family declined to comment on the content within this series.” Which means they never saw it in the first place for them to ever be able to object. Right off the rip, Netflix thinks these disclaimers will be enough, and right off I know it will not be.

The first scene we get is of an airport. Everything in this series is designed to feel like a documentary and not a reality show. Meghan must’ve been the one to suggest the stock photos and the stringent music. I can hear her now telling H that the only difference between a reality show and a documentary is the soundtrack, or something awful. We then see Harry talking to the camera in March 2020, right after their final engagement. Literally, he is videoblogging his future betrayals toward his family in the Heathrow Airport.

He's recording in the airport at Windsor, speaking, as we see a ton of pictures that should be new to us… but aren’t. The thing is with Harry and Meghan, they forget about saturation. We are so tired of hearing about them, and we’ve seen so much of them, that these new photos are not that special.

But, yet, Netflix paid quite a bit to oversaturate them some more. They start us out with Harry and Meghan apart, during the end of Megxit. She’s in Vancouver, and he’s in London. They claim that the media, the institution, and only they know the full truth. Except, is that really true, Harry? It’s not, is it?

I mean come on now, they have told us their story via Funding Freedom, Oprah, Ellen, James Corden, Gayle King, Dax Shephard, Meghan Markle Podcaster, Harry Markle Movie Douche, and that’s not even touching all the “five friends” they have on social media pretending to care. We know everything about their story.

WELL… Until they started telling it. Because everything is different now. Before, H asked M to marry him while they were roasting chicken. We even thought they were playing us a fool and using urban lingo, remember? But, no, sadly that’s all wrong. So is how they met, who Meghan was dating and living with at the time, and all the rest.

Once we get the couple together, well. It finally gets interesting. Harry watches Meghan watch a video of herself answering the “Prince Harry or Prince William who’d you rather?” and her acting like she didn’t care. H looked as if they never saw that clip, because you could tell he was upset with how she replied.

If you feel like this post is all over the place, it is. I am writing this as the documentary plays. This hopping around from them leaving to them meeting to them “sacrificing everything for each other” has all been touched on in the first five minutes. This author wanted to show you, exactly, what a hot mess this is all.

Essentially, this limited series is a “well here, this should suffice right?” that Netflix put together after they learned who Harry and Meghan really are. If you really look, it almost seems as if Netflix is getting revenge on them. Netflix will get that money either way; people like me have to watch this stuff, right? That, or they’re seriously that simple and that self-absorbed. But then again, I am different.

Maybe that will work out since everything in this documentary is different about H and M, too. Harry says “a friend of ours” suggested they video diary the whole process. At one point, we even hear Meghan try to cop it off and say “we keep talking about it… it may not make sense now, but it will one day” or some nonsense. In other words, Netflix said if you want this deal, you need to record something of substance and bring it to us before we’ll greenlight you and pay you.

I bet every rumor of Meghan filming Catherine’s and William’s kids at Kensington Palace were true. But, before I can even think about that, I get interrupted with Megahn coming in with her own little digs.

“The past six years of my life- books have been written about our story BY PEOPLE WE DON’T KNOW. Doesn’t it make more sense to hear our story from us?” brings us into meeting a Meghan who was intent on being single back in 2016. She failed to mention that she wasn’t single, though. Before H came, C came. Cory.

Then we get H and M together talking about meeting up for the first date. You know, the one that she ditched Piers to make. When she said they were “child-like” at first, Harry blinked three times rapidly. Before then, Meghan had just told a story about him being late. She said, “I’m not about this” and that she “couldn’t understand what could make him late”. Like how dare they be in downtown London in June, let alone how dare he be a working Royal at that time in 2016. How dare H!

Harry’s face said everything. It said “Oh really, because Meghan Markle Z list actor on the way out of her biggest gig couldn’t handle a PRINCE OF THE REALM BEING LATE a few minutes”. Everything about this relationship is broken. It will not stand. You see, both of them are using each other.

I’ve said from the beginning that I believe Harry is using Meghan as a way to get back at his father. I have also said from day one that Meghan was using Harry, too. But this isn’t a symbiotic relationship because neither really care about the other in a way where they both actually benefit healthily from the relationship.

At one point, Harry gets irate over Meghan mentioning that Harry had a list of what he looked for in a woman. He even said he wouldn’t talk about the list. He then made a joke that Meghan was the list, and the producer said it was a good answer. It was a copout. He was lying about everything he told her. He had a list, yes, but it wasn’t all her. She was the only one willing to act out the parts he wanted most.

When the show isn’t Harry and Meghan rewriting their own love story (again), they show very personal home videos of King Charles being a loving father. He even says his childhood was filled with joy, laughter, adventure, and happiness. But nothing we see is really more than an extension of what’s been out there forever now already. At the core, this whole thing makes Netflix very rich, those two looking very badly, and The Royals are attacked.

One revealing thing is how little Harry, as a boy, would make his own binoculars out of cardboard to look back at the press. Something tells me that his mother put him up to it. This is where the show goes in the “invasive paps and press” stage. He tells us that he was taught not to feed into it. There is a reason for not feeding into it, H. It stops it dead in its tracks. For example, if we all stopped talking about them or looking their way, they’d not matter and would have no other choice but to go away quietly.

This first episode continues on and on for what feels like too long. We get James Holt using that iconic, nasal British voice you get on the American made documentaries. And then it hits me. They must’ve edited it AFTER the Queen died, at least some. The interviews stopped in August of 2022, but they have the Queen marked as dying in 2022 when they show the Royal Family Tree. She died in September. If they could edit her death in, why not edit that scene where Meghan mocks the monarchy, UK tradition, and her husband’s dead grandmother out to save face?

Overall, save your time. This isn’t’ a documentary. It’s not reality television either. It’s Meghan and Harry complaining and lying, peppered with some Republicanism. We get several situations that are uncomfortable, and we get to see just how dysfunctional, controlling, manipulative, and vindictive Harry and Meghan are with each other.

You guys think they’re horrid now working together? Wait until they turn that vitriol on each other…

Oh, and the fact that Harry showed the clips of his mother in the Panorama complaining about being photographed so much, only for them to use photos of the press at Harry Potter to “replicate” how H is his mom again… rich. He said his mother was only alone after the divorce. So… in other words H… THE ROYAL FAMILY protected her. If she wasn’t alone until the divorce, that says she was respected and protected until she left. So, how could the Royal Family be responsible for your mother dying at the hands of a drunk driver and choosing to go sans seat belt H?

I’m whole-heartedly convinced this is planned and orchestrated from way back when. Like H is the real hunter here and M is the one really getting hunted. He saw a fame hungry monster and decided she would do. The more Meghan and Harry reveal who they are, the more they will prove us all right. Hang in there, guys. Listen, there is literally like thirty more minutes left at this point, and I just cannot anymore. But… now we get to see the recap of Diana’s death.

All I can say is Harry has been pretending to be Harry the Prince on camera for his whole life. He was trained by one of the best manipulative mommas ever, only to marry a hack who can’t do the manipulation part genuinely, without being caught. There is a reason none of their real friends made it into the series. He’s not spiraling people, he’s been planning this. He figured it out shortly after his mom died, at Eton. He figured it out then, that he could rattle cages. Episode One: Harry is his mother.

Oh, and it seems like he blinks rapidly in a row when he’s lying or provoked. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s holes all over that mansion’s walls.

Sorry guys, I got to minute 49 and had to stop. My poor husband watched it, too. He says “who the hell calls their wife by the letter of their first name?” God I love him.

 

EVERYTHING THEY’VE LIED ABOUT SO FAR:

1. HOW THEY MET: First they said they met via a mutual friend. Then they say they met via Instagram.

2. They said they didn’t know the people writing the books about them. OMID?

3. She said she never googled H, but she literally tells us that she didn’t consider seeing his social media as googling him.

4. The List he had for a wife, and her being it.

5. How they got engaged: first it was roasting chicken, then it was in Africa

6. Harry and Meghan were serious when they went to Botswana; they had met only twice in person before the five-day trip.

There's more to this, I just gave up and had to get a break. I made it to 49 minutes and begged mercy. Feel free to add to the list!

[dungeonbf]

hello ancom… tell me more about you and authright…… do you do anything with the peak cap… heehee but also in general id love to know more about you two ^_^ hope youre having a lovely daaayyyyyy

HI PIPPA OMG ^_^!!!!!! i’m so happy you’re shipping with booga and tanky … literal win for me :3 rant under the cut ^_^

ANYWAYS SOO okay so authright is the literal worst — in centricide, every character is the embodiment of an ideology and .. authright is the embodiment of jewish fascism, hence the uniform with the peaked cap. (it’s actually a pilot’s cap!! it’s got a little pilot’s logo on it and stuff!) i think his peaked cap is sooo pretty, it’s my favorite part of his outfit, i want to KISS IT. i’ve briefly considered getting a similar pilot’s cap for my centricide collection (a lot of clothing for centricide characters is available on amazon, conveniently enough!), along with tankie’s ushanka. maybe i will, when i start working?? but anyways, onto more stuff about authright… our dynamic is definitely enemies to lovers — I KNOWWW it’s so oversaturated and cliché but we literally hate each other. my s/i (and myself irl) is super far left and he’s super far right politically — he definitely considers me just another degenerate leftist and i consider him just another authoritarian fascist, y’know, but we’re both mutually intrigued by each other. (unrelated but i’ve considered making my ships with the other main extremists, tankie and ancap, a polyship? cuz i like when people ship the main four extremists together, i think it’s cute… the worst polycule you’ll ever meet) me and authright mainly bond over our love for violent video games (i like watching him play in silence, occasionally commenting to say how bad he is at it.)

UNPOPULAR OPINION but in canon, authright lacks a father figure, leading him to become super extreme politically and hateful, and i think my self-insert could have a positive effect on him. i think he’s really internally troubled and probably has low self-esteem and i think being truly loved and cared for could make him a much better ideology, tbh. he’d probably still be authoritarian and cringefaillame but… better, yk.

this is one of my fave photos of him, he’s so cuteeee!! and the actual worst!!! he’s canonically ashkenazi jewish and it makes me so happy, ‘cause i’m religiously jewish!!! i doubt he practices much, in terms of traditions or prayer or holiday, but still. i love him, he makes me want to throw up in a good way

[alecatmew]

Rainbow Eagles

A Fire Emblem: Three Houses fan piece that took me over a year to take from concept to final painting.

I’m documenting this one here now because all the WIPs are in a Twitter thread and actually a blog post is probably a better medium for chronicling things and adding some thoughts.

I’ll start with thoughts on the final piece. I’ll admit, I’m not fully happy with how it came together. The colours are nice, but looking at it three years later, many of the faces are a bit weak. I think I was torn between how much detail to put into various parts of the image when working with watercolours, which can be temperamental – and I was trying to deliberately incorporate unpredictable elements like paint splatters to boot. I was probably too afraid of messing things up further with the faces to work them much more, including adjusting skintones. Some of this fear is justified – watercolours are not a medium that afford a lot of flexibility for adjustments or fixes.

Still, I think it’s fair to say the final piece suffers for my fearful approach.

I’m going to take you through all the test pieces that went into this piece and I think you’ll understand my disappointment after you see them – when there’s great elements in a test piece, their absences in the final artwork feel like a letdown.

We’ll start with the very first scribble, which apparently was the product of insomnia. I think it was pen scribbled straight over a watercolour gradient.

After that, the idea for the full painting quickly formed – a circle to span the whole rainbow.

I was torn on whether to include Byleth or not in this – partly because I was unsure whether I’d try my hand at the other Houses as well. In the end, they didn’t make the cut.

After this, I did a ton of experiments for the colour bleeds.

I LOVE how this one was coming together. Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough space on the test paper to continue it. I think I spent the entirety of the rest of this undertaking trying to chase what I’d done in this piece. Argh!

Some style experiments. The paint splatters came out great in this one and the one below.

I think what I didn’t appreciate in my test pieces was how little space there’d be for splatters to not collide in the middle. I then tried to lean into it, placing the eagle logo in the centre where all the colours converged.

There was a lot of time between the test pieces and before I was finally ready to undertake the final piece. I think in the intervening time, I considered doing the entire painting digitally, and experimented with how that would look.

But eventually, I got back on track to do things in watercolour. That didn’t mean throwing out the digital tools! Instead, the composition was drafted digitally for tracing. Of course, it went through a couple iterations too.

I think this tracing has made the sketch feel quite rigid as a result. Byleth was officially excommunicated.

Here was how things were looking after the paint splatters were done. I definitely went into that scared.

Looking at this progress photo, I think I definitely oversaturated the scan. Maybe things could be helped somewhat with a colour retweak… ok, let’s look at these files.

Hang on a moment… what the heck? Looking at the files in my art folder… I already did a re-scan! It’s dated February 2022, about seven months after I originally posted the painting online. But I never posted the rescan? Or at least, not in the Twitter thread. Another reason why using Twitter as a digital archive is a bad idea…

Anyhow, here it is. I think there’s some definite improvements in the colours, and it looks like I adjusted some of the skintones. I wasn’t able to fix Dorothea’s dark blotchiness, but at least Petra doesn’t look so pale in comparison. I think one of the issues I had with the original painting was how dark the paper scanned, so when trying to eliminate the paper textures and shadows I ended up really pulling the colours in weird directions.

So I’ll present this version without trying to wash out the background to white. Still not perfect, but an improvement, I think. Maybe I should go in for a third try, sometime…

"Rainbow Eagles" was originally published on Proairesis

[outsourcethephotoedit]

Common Photo Editing Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

However, even with the most experienced editors, mistakes still creep into their work and compromise the impression made by the edited work. The article below will guide you through some of the most common photo editing errors and how they can be avoided, thus ensuring that there is always a minimum level of error in the final results provided by your photo editing services.

1. Over-Saturation of Colors

One of the most common photo editing errors is to oversaturate color. Nice and strong colors can make an image striking, high-intensity color can make photos turn out very unrealistic and unattractive. This will often result in common ground of skin tones looking like they are too orange or red, and other landscapes looking entirely far too overbright.

How to Avoid

Subtle Adjustments: Start by making these very subtle changes to the saturation levels. Low intensities of color are better in intensities, as it can be quite easy to adjust the intensity to high later. Most of the time, increasing the intensity afterwards is easier than dialing back if you have gone too far.

2. Over-smoothing of the Skin

Now, smoothing skin is popular in portrait editing, but the same could be overdone very easily. Just overdoing it will make the model look like a plastic doll, the skin texture gone, and yielding a very unrealistic look altogether.

How to Avoid

Use Frequency Separation: This method separates color in the skin from texture, such as skin pores, thus allowing one to smooth blemishes without losing the natural texture of the skin.

3. Overlooking the Background

It’s quite easy to zone in on your subject and bypass everything else other than the background. However, a distracting background is something that takes away all the impact of the image. Whether it’s some unwanted object, a cluttered scene, or bad lighting, a bad background can be a huge destruction for your viewer.

How to Avoid

Clone Stamp Tool: Remove unwanted distractions in the back using tools such as the clone stamp or healing brush tools.

4. Over-Sharpening

While sharpness is essential for making that which you are looking at clear and highly detailed, over-sharpening actually creates irresistible, harsh edges — effectively giving the result a granulated look — and the photo appears to be too rough and unpolished.

How to Avoid:

A Little Sharpening: Start at a lower sharpness setting and keep increasing it slightly until a good effect is realized. Watch the edges of the objects within an image; they should not be turning too harsh.

Conclusion

Photo editing is an art that requires a proper balance between enhancement and restraint. When these common errors are avoided in the editing of a photograph, you will do quite well in making certain that your photo editing services are high quality and professionally maintained at all times.

Do not forget — first and foremost, the key to successful editing is subtlety and precision. Always aim at enhancing the natural beauty of the photograph, rather than overshadowing it with effort. If you’re able to master these best practices, you’ve done almost all you could to create visually gorgeous images in the competitive market of our generation.

Visit here: https://www.newspostonline.com/tech/common-photo-editing-mistakes-and-how-to-avoid-them/

[akinformation]

Page 339

and you have a “wow” feeling inside, you feel goosebumps, your thoughts are gone, and you are in the pure flow, this is an epiphany. When you move a little further, a step forward towards the truth, something flips inside. And not only will you feel it at that moment, but you will also see changes afterward. They are not that easy to see, but I can see them; I am very observant. I notice these changes every time, and I notice them now. Nothing has changed physically since we explored the territory with the radars, but psychologically, everything is so different. The feeling inside is different, and I’ll try to explain it.

We continued researching and recording, noting other places we should explore. When we discovered spots that radiated energy, we also noted how we felt inside. At this point, we had discovered three types of stones from three different locations. At one spot, the deviation was eighteen thousand negative. At another spot, it showed three thousand positive, but it may have been four thousand or more; we just didn’t have a device that could detect it.

The three stones that we collected are the ones we showed photos of to the Mystic-old man. The third stone was from a location we call “the pit” because we dug a pit there. The Mystic-old man described that stone as irradiated by something extraterrestrial or some alien trash that was thrown away. They are all visually similar, but their energetic properties are completely different. We sent them to the lab. They are actually regular stones, but they emit so much energy it is insane. I never felt so much energy flow from anything, ever. I don’t keep them at home because they are that strong. It’s so strong that if you spend too much time with them, you feel super weak and sleepy. It doesn’t mean that they absorbed your energy and power. On the contrary, this happens due to oversaturation. When we were mining those stones, one of the guys on my team said, “It is strange; first, I feel this crazy abundance of energy, and later I feel as if I’m completely sucked out and am falling asleep.” When I was teaching a meditation technique called “opening of a channel,” I said that people whose energy level is low fall asleep during meditation because a large amount of energy descends into them. They can’t handle the volume of the new energy, they don’t have control to be here and now, and they just fall asleep from oversaturation. That’s the same thing that you feel, I told him.

[just-a-leech-boy]

This isnt the essay tbh. I'm just thinking out loud. Idek man. End of the fucking world. We're all doomed

I am very hung up on the fact that two main modes of human expression: language and visual art, have been automated, and more importantly commodified.

I go to university. From personal observation of my fellow students, the use of chatgpt to do incredibly simple essay work is endemic. Literally every single person in my history class last term used it to write summaries of the reading. Even people who I know are smart, have said they used chatgpt to create outlines for essays. I don't understand the purpose of this; surely you are able to think through an outline for an essay? Surely this does not need to be automated. Chatgpt is cheating, to me. You cheated. You didn't have the thoughts you were meant to have. You let a computer do the thinking. Why are we here?

I think there is essentially a move away from thinking itself, especially with the fact that addiction to short form video content is completely real. I think people my age, but especially people younger than me, are mostly unaware of its addictive nature, and essentially everyone has no means to break free from it. I remember when I was a kid, and how my brain worked then, how thinking felt before I was addicted to my phone. Do the children now, who were given the internet as babies, even know that it is different?

I think it's the end of thought. No one wants to think. No one wants to read, no one wants to write. No one cares if things are good, they care if it's fast, or if it makes money. I think now with AI we are set on a path towards the degeneration of human intelligence and creation, all in the name of capital.

...

Okay next bit is gonna be like, shittily written cuz it's less clear in my mind.

People always say that AI lets them have a "more efficient workflow". Id be interested to hear if these people actually work less than they did before they started using AI. Or do they just do more work for the same amount of time and the same amount of money? Or is it just that they're able to do more work for more money, for the same amount of time? I never hear anyone say, "ai has given me more free time". Wasn't AI supposed to free us for more important things? Like writing, and art, and talking to people?

A lot of stuff people are using chatgpt for is just insane dystopian shit that makes my head explode. On Reddit one of the top uses was making up bedtime stories for their children, praised for its "novelty". The fuck??? You have allowed the connection to your child be automated by a machine. That machine does not love your child. It did not choose those words to make them smile or laugh. You could not, out of love for your child, spend 5 minutes, pondering a bedtime story?

One major reason there was backlash against the Vietnam war was the fact that it was being photographed. The photos of the horror of war were enough to move a generation. Now, photos of war and of atrocities are just part of doomscrolling. Our awful little habit. We basically see children dying every day, multiple times a day even. I think this in itself is unnatural. I don't think it's possible for a person to feel empathy for anyone on their screen anymore. There is just an oversaturation of images. I do not think we were meant to live in this way.

This is what I mean when I say it is the end of any meaningful human connection. There will be no exchanging of thoughts, of empathy. We will not have thoughts, we will not have creativity. We are slaves to the machine and to techno capital and putting things on the Internet so ads can be put beside them. That is the only reason we are here. Is to look at our screens and make money for other people. Not to think, not to love, not to make anything at all.

...

Anyway yeah uhhh. I think. It's the end of the world. But in a slow and pathetic sort of way, where it's fine really, but I just think. Maybe nothing will ever be real or beautiful ever again.

Okay that was a lot of words sorry.

If you think otherwise, please tell me your thoughts because i do not think there is much hope for this.

There's a big essay in my head about the perception of reality, social media as it is today, ai, and something about nihilism and empathy. I think uhhh. The end culture and human connection. Idk

[sugurugetos]

— what’s up guys 😭 i just wanted to share my own little two cents on some colouring trends i’ve seen lately (particularly for kpop gifs!) which includes really distorted pink/red hues for skintones or oversaturated yellows so maybe i could give some tips that also helped me in the past!!

and of course because i love to talk a lot — this is a very long and image heavy tutorial...

❓ why is it an issue? i think its a very clear given that whitewashing is wrong and problematic for a vast number of reasons (with a history steeped in colourism and racism) and how there’s no excuse for changing the skintone of a person-of-colour.

— but with that said i want to make it clear that this is not an accusatory post! i’m not jumping on any one content creator or tumblr user to call them racist or colourist or a bigot 😭 and i don’t want to accuse anyone of having bad intentions with their gifs or images that they post! i really just want this to be a helpful post for anyone who is struggling to colour their gifs properly and more of a learning step instead of a call-out! 

however pink-washing (i’m aware there is another definition for this term but i’m referring to washing out a skintone to make it red-pink) and yellow-washing are equally as wrong! and they are also easily avoidable!! 

in the past it was a commonly held (and incorrect) belief that european people (a term i’m going to use broadly for non-poc) had a ‘fair’ and ‘pink’ undertone to their skin [and it was an encouraged beauty standard to try and emulate that fair pale pink skin] while asian people (particularly east asian ethnicities) had ‘yellow’ skin (as seen in racist caricatures and a plethora of terrible and outdated race theories).

thus pink-washing and yellow-washing both embrace two extreme ends of the scale and it’s simply better and more respectful to try and maintain the skintone of the idol in your gifs! there are deeper contextual explanations of this if you would like to learn more!

❓ identifying pink/yellow gifs

let’s start with recognising what colouring is a no-go ❌ if you’re a gifmaker you’re probably fighting a battle on two fronts — against the whitewashing music shows and then the struggle to restore skin colour without turning the dial up so much that you’ve changed their entire skintone.

for this example below i found a kpop psd posted recently (in the past few months actually) and applied it to a basic bright-lighting sort of facecam. 

the original facecam has no heavy stage lighting (as stages can often have really strong red or pink lights that also darken the colours) so it’s an easy one to follow along with.

the gif on the left has only a basic curves layer while the gif on the right has the added kpop psd on it. it’s a very stark difference in jungwon’s skintone and i would definitely classify this as an unnatural skin tone.

following a selective colour layer (to subtly increase the warm tones of his skin) / a photo filter (to counter the pale blue sort of lighting) and a colour balance - we can end up with a product like this.

now of course, this is only a very simple sort of colouring. and everyone has different colouring styles so you can go bonkers with all the colour manipulation for the blues and greens and purples as you like!

but what if the stage is just naturally red? 

may i introduce you to the dreaded seventeen stages during face the sun era then 😭

as you can see there is already a very heavy sort of pink-red cast on his skin (that only gradually got worse as the stage started because of those damn lights and shadows 😭) but we can easily work around them!

so here’s our stage lighting with no adjustments 

and now even though we got rid of the pink-tone it’s been replaced with a very strong yellow. (you might think i’m exaggerating out here but there are unfortunately a mite too many gifs like this). jeonghan’s skin (not to mention the members in the back) have been dialled up to a wasp yellow.

and unfortunately (at least in my experiences) there have been quite a few of the below instances (especially for this stage) so ultimately it is all about finding the right balance between getting rid of the harsh, unsaturated lighting while also bringing back warmth to the skintone while ALSO not giving the idols a spray-tan.

❓ so what can i do?

well i’m glad you asked! let’s go back to the jeonghan example we just used. here’s the stage gif once more without any adjustments or layers.

now i’ll add a simple curves layer (to even out the general lighting) and we end up with this. it’s obviously much better. the red-brown cast has no become darker creating a greater contrast with jeonghan’s skintone versus his black and white outfit! it’s a nicer gif overall but i want to bring out his skintone ever so slightly to make up for the harsh white lights on the highlights of his face.

i added another selective colour layer (increasing the reds with the cyan slider and then the black slider while also pushing on the yellow slider as well) and a gradient map (fading from black to orange and set to soft light at a 20% opacity)! and this is my final result!

❓ tips and tricks

— colour balance is your best friend! if a gif seems too blue (and hence giving your subject a pale purple-red sort of look) bring back the slider to the yellow side. or vice versa. it often sorts out all the little hiccups that a curves layer might have provided. — create layer masks to compare skin colour. it’s always useful to just have a little circle where you can see the skintone before and afters! — don’t just rely on selective colour to bring colour back into skin. this is where i find that i often trip up to overcompensate for whitewashing. a gradient map works wonders if set at the right opacity and you can adjust the skin colours minutely afterwards! — this might seem like a reduntant theme but it’s more than okay to ask for help! even i’ve found that i struggle with colouring a gif right and it’s better to get two or three heads in the game than one 😭

there is no one method or psd that will automatically graces oneself with perfect and correct colouring but it’s a matter of practice and figuring out what methods works for you!

i’d take a look at these very helpful tutorials! how to colour east/south-east asian celebrities how to fix orange-washed characters

[cloud-9ine]

Through a Golden Lens (pt 1)

⤷ pairing - hawks x (fem) reader

⤷ fandom - bnha 

⤷ warnings - some language, hawks flirting, reader’s cynicism 

⤷ summary - reader is a bitter, overworked photographer at a hero press agency with little patience for her newly assigned muse- hawks

⤷ word count - 4.5k+

⤷ notes - i have lots of ideas so this is probably going to be a multi-part series. also new to tumblr so this might not be the best

⤷ pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6

“Mr. Hawks! Please look this way!” his heavy lidded eyes rolled to the side as another blinding flash burned through his vision. 

“You look perfect, thank you!” it was hard to smile for their benefit, but he managed. Hawks had attended countless of these events for the press. It had been exhilarating at first, with the rush of adrenaline from the cameras and the lights and the endless stream of compliments solidifying his place in the public eye.

Nowadays, it was less thrilling. After a while, they all seemed the same- each one blurring into a senseless flare of cameras and hollow accolades.

He was bored, to say the least.

“Mr Hawks, would you like to come and see? I’d love to hear your opinion on this set!” with a practiced, easy smirk he nodded. It was easier to pander to the artist than to criticise their work. 

He looked good, but when did he not? The shoots were easy to glide through. All he had to do was pull a boyish grin, ‘make love to the camera’ as the photographers always liked to spout. It didn’t really matter what he did: the public would eat up anything with his face slapped on to the front. They all looked the same to him, anyway.

“Looks good,” he wondered why people were so easily satiated by shallow praises, but as he stared at the younger lady’s blush, he couldn’t help but realise that maybe it was him who had something to do with it.

Hawks couldn’t help his gaze from drifting to the door. His skin prickled in the humidity of all the moving bodies in one enclosed space and he longed to take a step outside and stretch his wings in a way that wasn’t to pose for a magazine. 

For a moment, he felt like his prayers had been answered when the door opened, letting in a stream of natural light to breach the artificiality of the modelling room. 

”(L/N)! You were supposed to be here over three hours ago!” the woman in front of him exclaimed, ripping the camera away from his view and marching to the figure that appeared in the light. He blinked in surprise: this entire shoot he hadn’t heard her raise her voice above anything but a low mumble when conversing with him, and now she was positively fuming.

You stared down at your co-worker through honey-tinted shades, expression unamused.

“Yeah, and I was also supposed to be out of this job three years ago. We don’t all do what we’re supposed to, cupcake.”

For a moment, Hawks thought you were a model. Tasteful cream turtleneck tucked into heavily creased mocha skirt, caramel beret perched on your head. There were a few metal, classy looking rings wrapped around your fingers, but as far as he could see, no wedding ring. It was pretty standard style for those who worked in the arts, but somehow you wore it so well. 

Your hair was a little dishevelled, and the dark circles under your eyes combined with the coffee cup in your hand were obvious signs of a rough night. His eyes locked on to the loopy black handwriting on the brown band around the cup.

(L/N) (Y/N)

You were no model, but Hawks couldn’t see the difference.

His wings beat lightly behind his back as he glided over, weaving through the other photographers and models scattered around the area. 

“Hey there, I’m Hawks,” he said smoothly, voice saccharine as he spoke to you. Your attention turned to him as you glanced at him from above the frames of your sunglasses, seemingly unimpressed.

“This the new boytoy, Mizuki?” you asked, eyes raking up and down his figure. Hawks was never one to shy away from the gaze of others, but the way you were inspecting him made him feel so exposed.

“Show some respect,” Mizuki muttered, voice lowered at Hawks’ presence but glare still piercing. You sighed, sparing one last glance at Hawks before snatching the camera out of Mizuki’s hands, leaving her scrambling for the device as you walked away.

“Lemme see what you’ve got already,” Mizuki’s face grew red, half from anger towards you, and half because of the embarrassment of being diminished in front of Hawks.

“(L/N) y-you can’t just come in three hours late and take over! I’ve already done the shoot and Hawks has already expressed that he is pleased with the outcome,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes and shooting the shorter woman a glare over your shoulder.

“There’s no way you’re gonna force me to come into work and make me sit here doing nothing,” you sneered, waving the camera around almost teasingly, “you wanted someone actually skilled to do this shoot, and here I am. Let me do my thing,” without waiting for a response, you left, thumb fumbling with the dial that allowed you to scroll through the photos.

Hawks was impressed. You hadn’t bat an eye when you saw him, and while you were very clearly very late, you were confident in your skills and obviously took your job seriously.

“Who was that?” he questioned, wings spreading slightly as his eyes chased after you. Mizuki bowed her head, remorse filling her expression.

“I apologise for her impertinence. That’s (L/N), she was who your original photographer was supposed to be today, but when she didn’t show up I had to take over,” she huffed, “she’s been like this for about a year now, and the boss is prepared to fire her if she keeps it up. So you’d think she’d be able to pull her at together for you, Mr. Hawks...”

After a while, Hawks tuned out her whining, eyes curiously trained on you, surveying your furrowed brows and expression pinched with annoyance as you studied the photos. Although they looked good enough to him, it appeared that you didn’t share the same sentiment. 

Hawks didn’t have time to avert his eyes when you turned your head, gaze locking on to his. You raised a slightly suspicious brow, but otherwise didn’t entertain his actions. 

“Mizuki, why would you use cool lighting?” you called over your shoulder, not even sparing the decency to turn around and face the person you were addressing. Mizuki frowned, moving to your side. Like a magnet, Hawks did the same, peering over your other shoulder. You eyed him from the corner of your vision for a second before tapping the screen. 

“What do you mean?” you sighed at your co-workers words, evidently frustrated.

“Considering you have bird boy over here in dark academia, accented in warmer yellows, using cool lights will bring out too much of a contrast. We need to match the accent colours with warmer lighting, or use a overlay,” you muttered, seemingly addressing yourself more than the two of them. Mizuki just shook her head.

“That would just oversaturate the image,” you snorted, giving her the same patronising look an adult would give a child if they tried to outsmart them.

“Not necessarily. I could spot-reduce saturation in highlight areas during editing. Or, if you really want your contrast, I could neutralise the warmer shades by using a blue, or compliment them using a red,” Hawks didn’t miss the way you said ‘I’ instead of ‘we’. Mizuki looked agitated, her frown growing deeper.

“Even so, we only have white backdrops. That would be a jarring contrast. You’d need something darker or more clustered to make it work. If you wanted a backdrop change you probably should’ve come earlier,” she spoke with a formality that obviously stemmed from Hawks next to her, but you paid no mind. You were silent for a moment, and Hawks could see your eyes narrowing as you were thinking.

“I need a natural background, huh?” you mumbled, thumbing the buttons on the camera. With a shrug, “alright, bird boy, come on, we’re leaving,” Hawks blinked in surprise as you spun on your heel, a grin breaking onto his face. Finally, he got to leave.

“Whatever you say, boss,” you shot him an irritated look.

“Don’t call me that. I’m 22, not 40,” his feathers ruffled up. “Hey, I’m also 22! What a coincidence, right?” he grinned, winking at you. You just responded by rolling your eyes.

Mizuki spluttered, trying in vain to get either one of you to stop as Hawks trailed after you.

“L-Look, you can’t just leave-” you turned, shoving the camera back into her hands, a mirthless smile on your face.

“Watch me,” your voice was cold, goading her to try and stop you, “bird boy, out, now.” Hawks didn’t have to be told twice. Some of the others whispered and muttered as they realised what was going on, but they all fell quiet when you shot them a sharp glare.

He breathed in the fresh air with a content sigh, his chest feeling lighter now he was out the cramped room. The amber glow from the late afternoon sun kissed his tanned skin as he stretched his arms above his head, his forearms flexing slightly under his dark blazer. His eyes shut in bliss and head tilted back, exposing his sharp jawline.

You eyed him slightly, eyes trailing across his features. Now that you had actually left, you were a little lost on what your plan was. You didn’t regret storming out of there, though, nor did you even consider turning back to apologise.

You took your own camera out of the dark camera bag slung across your body, careful not to scratch it on the tripod, and focused the lens on Hawks. It was smaller, a little more compact than the ones Mizuki and the others were using, but you found that it was much better suited for portrait work. 

The click of the camera shutter brought Hawks out of his stupor, eyes snapping open and immediately landing on you. Your attention had already been diverted to the screen, studying your work. 

“The modelling room is stuffy, I’ll give you that,” you mumbled, zooming in on his face, “but you can stretch while we walk,” Hawks leaned over you, eyes sparkling at the shot.

“Aw, you make me look so good, I’m flattered!” you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t be,” you took a large sip of your coffee, moving down the pathway as you thought. Hawks scrambled after you, his wings puffing out when he reached your side. You couldn’t help but gaze at the bright red feathers as he unfurled his wings, a small, happy chirping noise rumbling at the back of his throat once they were fully spread behind your back. They were warm, you noticed, feeling the heat through your turtleneck. 

Your vision was filled with a cheeky smirk painted on full lips, Hawks’ face appearing in front of your eyes. Your eyes narrowed as you sized him up.

“See something you like?” you rolled your eyes as he purred. 

“Not in the slightest, bird brain,” his wings beat behind his back, hand clutching the fabric on his chest.

“Oh, how you wound me!” Hawks cried, and you couldn’t help but smile slightly, which you quickly covered with your coffee cup. 

“I’m sure you’ll face a villain that will do greater damage than I could,” he hummed, angling his face towards the sun. 

“So, where are we headed?” you chewed on your bottom lip, slinging your camera over your shoulder. 

“It can’t be anywhere with lots of traffic, you attract a lot of attention, you know?” it was a rhetorical question, but Hawks’ chest still puffed out in pride at your words.

“Thanks, it’s because of my raging-”

“Shut up,” you cut him off, “either way, I have a pounding headache and I do not have enough shits to give to put up with your fan girls today,” with a sigh, you rubbed your temples. Hawks stared at your clenched teeth.

“Hey, why do you-” “I think I know where we can go,” he frowned.

“You know it’s not polite to interrupt people like that-”

“Sunflowers.” your tone dripped finality as you faced Hawks, a brazen determination in your eyes he hadn’t seen until now. It made his breath hitch in his throat.

Breathy chuckle escaping his lips, and eyebrows furrowed when you sped your pace, gulping down more of your coffee.

“Uh, what?” you waved a hand dismissively.

“There’s a sunflower field in Fukuroi City, I think it’s west from here,” the tiniest of grins etched onto your features, “it’s gonna be a lot more interesting than the rest of those blank background. Plus, the yellow will compliment your clothes, and with the sun low in the sky I’ll get my perfect warm lighting,” you explained. Hawks wasn’t sure exactly how much of a difference it would make, but the idea seemed charming, and it was more exciting than being perpetually flanked by a white screen.

“Sounds good,” he chirped, “although, to be honest, you could take me out anywhere and I wouldn’t mind,” you rolled your eyes. 

“That’s a shame, because I don’t intend to hang around any more than I have to,” Hawks pouted, crossing his arms.

“Come on, I wanna know more about you!” you bristled.

“Good for you.” the two of you fell into a beat of silence before Hawks smiled, undaunted.

“I’m sure I can win you over somehow,” shaking your head in disbelief, you lifted the cup to your lips, before looking down disappointedly when you realised it was empty.

“I don’t have enough coffee for this,” you muttered. Hawks’ expression brightened. 

“That’s an easy fix: your agency is around here so you must know there area pretty well,” he spoke nonchalantly, as if he was on a casual lunch date and not in the most expensive outfit you’d seen in your entire life, “what’s the best place to grab a coffee?” for a moment, you looked taken aback, before shaking your head.

“Best café in these parts is the Sunset Hour,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck, “but as much as I have no inhibitions regarding bunking off work, that’s a little too far away. I need to take this pictures before the end of the day or Mizuki’ll submit those crappy ones she took in the studio,” Hawks nodded in understanding, smile never faltering for a second.

“Well I gotta get you your caffeine fix somewhere, so what’s the second best?” your expression scrunched in thought for a moment, before you jutted a thumb over your shoulder.

“There’s a Starbucks across the road,” he snickered seeing your blank expression.

“Not exactly where I would want our first date, but I suppose it’ll do,” rolling your eyes, you shoved the empty cup to his chest, which he gripped almost instinctively. 

“Good thing this isn’t a date, then,” Hawks grinned, sending your empty cup on a feather to the nearest bin before chasing after you as you crossed the road. You didn’t spare him a single glance when he appeared at your shoulder, nor when he reached over above your head to open the Starbucks door from behind you.

“So you’re saying we can have our first date somewhere else?” with a shallow sigh, you shook your head.

“What I’m saying is that there’s not gonna be a first date. Not between us,” his chest tightened. God, you were so mean. He’d be into that.

The inside of the Starbucks was a mix between modern, western architecture and traditional Japanese woodwork. The equipment was all cutting edge, and the tables and chairs were made with a sleek mahogany, but the windows were framed with bamboo shutters, and the backroom was separated with shoji sliding doors. It was an curious blend, one that you studied with an interest. The deep, earthy scent of roasted coffee beans heavily imbued the air, filling your nose with the aroma of something far more familiar. 

Given it was the late afternoon, and most people tended not to drink caffeine after 2pm, the patrons were few and far in between. Good for you, at least. It meant you wouldn’t get- “Hawks? Sorry to bother you but can we get a picture?” your head turned at the voice that rung out.

Two high school girls stood to your left, hands clutched together in front of their chests and a dark pink coating their cheeks. With a small sigh, you took a step forward in the small queue. Hawks smiled with all the faux charm in the world, an obvious change in his demeanour as his pride spiked.

“Of course! And just as it happens, I have my personal photographer here who can make sure your photos look amazing as you two do!” it took you a moment to register what he had said through the excited squeals of the girls before he clutched your shoulders and pulled you forward, causing you to stumble slightly. 

“Your what?” he sent you an audacious smirk, willing you to play along as one of the girls handed you her phone. Your first instinct was to decline, but as you met the eyes of the girls, so eager and bright, you couldn’t find it in you to disappoint them. 

Taking a couple steps back, you lifted the phone, slightly angling it so the picture looked more natural, and not that of a celebrity and their fans (even if it was). You squinted angrily at the poor lighting, but tried to rectify it the best you could. The girls looked a little tense, but Hawks was a natural. A liberal smirk played on his lips and shoulders rolled back, relaxed. Even with the low lighting, the highlights on his cheekbone and jawline were indescribably perfect, and you weren’t sure if the credit should go to you or his god-like genes.

“Wow, that’s perfect!” one of the girls cried, her body appearing by your side. You hadn’t even noticed her moving, “thank you so much!” you just nodded, handing her back her phone and crossing your arms, eyes narrowing at Hawks.

“If that’s all, ladies, we best be ordering,” they nodded frantically at Hawks’ words, sharply bowing and spouting their thanks to the two of you countless times. They left the Starbucks, but even outside you could still hear them fawning over the picture. He faced you with a grin, but you couldn’t muster up a smile.

“Don’t go around telling people I’m your personal photographer,” you sneered. He pouted, looking genuinely disappointed for a second. “What, you don’t wanna be mine?” “Not in the slightest.” 

“What will be your order, Miss?” the barista had directed the question at you, but it was clear his attention was elsewhere. You weren’t surprised, but a small swell of annoyance grew in your mind.

“Can I have a mocha with a double shot of expresso?” Hawks chuckled.

“Might as well have an expresso, you know. You’re basically just taking a shot of caffeine,” you shrugged.

“It’s my favourite drink. I like the chocolate taste,” he looked at you with round eyes, a small squeeze in his chest.

“And you, sir?”

“Oh, I’ll have the same, then,” he didn’t miss the way your eyes darted to him. The barista nodded, tapping for a couple seconds before turning back.

“That’ll be 660 yen,” “I’m paying,” Hawks blurted, even before you could offer. You were silent, a small nod in the affirmative rocking your head. As he handed over the bills, he chuckled. “You know, not that I mind, but usually couples would argue over who’s paying,” you rolled your eyes.

“We’re not a couple,” you watched the barista prepare your drinks, more of a way to occupy yourself rather than a genuine interest, “besides, you’re a lot richer than I am. I don’t mean to be impolite, but I’m sure you can lose 600 yen and still be good,” he hummed happily.

“No disagreements there.” “Are you two eating in or taking out?” the barista asked, in the midst of securing the plastic lids to the top of the cups. Hawks’ eyes sparkled as he turned to you with an excitement you assumed only appeared in children.

“Hey, we can-” “Take out,” you responded, giving a now deflated Hawks a challenging look, “I will leave you here if I have to.” the blonde grinned. “You wouldn’t. You need me for the pictures,” he sang, voice jovial.

“I don’t care about you that much. The sunflowers are probably less annoying subjects anyway,” oh. With no warning, his heart beat sped up, his wings puffing out slightly. Sure, he wouldn’t mind if you were a little nicer to him, but your insults were like a breath of fresh air. There was no doubt that Hawks loved the limelight, loved the popularity he got, but the relentless ass-kissing got old after a while. You kept him on his toes. Even if he was just constantly chasing after you every time you brushed him off, he didn’t care. 

“Put those away, bird brain,” it was then he realised his wings had spread further than he intended, stretched out on either side of him. One was curled right around his face, and he almost felt himself blushing as he pulled them in. It was just animal instincts, he assured himself. 

The rest of the journey was filled with a one-sided conversation of him talking and commenting on what was around you, with no response from you except the occasional witty retort or light-hearted jab at his expense, each one making his heart flutter. It wasn’t too long before you had arrived, the chain link fence around the plot stretching high above your head and corroded with orange rust. 

Rows and rows of bright yellow sunflowers stretched to the horizon, an immense display of summer vitality. The fragrance was potent, a sort of cloying sweetness that you didn’t hate. And just as you were about to enter, you knew you had made a mistake. 

“Oh.” Hawks stared at you incredulously, attention switching from your taken aback expression to the sign posted on the gate.

“You didn’t check to see it was open?” you looked up at him, allowing him to survey a tinge of remorse he hadn’t recognised until this point. 

“Look, how was I supposed to know? This place has always been open at this time since I was a little kid,” you rubbed your arm, brows furrowed. Hawks sighed, rolling his shoulders back.

“Well, the sun’s too low to go anywhere else outside,” he shrugged, “it’s no biggie, I guess. Those other photos weren’t too bad. Hey, now that we’re free, do you want to- what are you doing?” your foot was halfway in the gaps in the gate, the wedges on your heels making it hard to climb.

“I’m not wasting my day for nothing,” you growled, fingers curling around the metal, “get climbing, bird boy,” with a soft sigh, smile gracing his lips and a warm feeling in his chest, Hawks spread his wings.

“I think you’re forgetting something that’ll make this a lot easier,” you felt a cool draft on your back as Hawks flapped his wings, the feeling being quickly replaced by the warmth of his chest as he pulled you in. A foreign emotion coiled in your stomach, but you convinced yourself that it was just the flight.

One arm wrapped around your shoulders, the other supporting your knees, and all Hawks was thinking that such a gentle flight never felt so calming. 

Your feet tapped against the soft soil, sinking in to it slightly when the hero placed you down. You nodded your thanks.

“Let’s go over there, I want the sun coming in from the right,” Hawks nodded, content to just follow your orders. You pulled the tripod from your bag and set it up, adjusting it to your liking as Hawks looked around, trying to think of a pose. 

Once everything was ready, you turned your attention to Hawks.

“I want to humanise you,” he grinned curiously as you walked over.

“What do you mean by that?” he nearly gasped when you grabbed his chin, angling his face to the side and slightly up, towards the sun. You took a step closer, reaching up and running a hand through his hair. He bit his lip, hands trembling as you tugged slightly, trying to mess it up a little.

“All the photos I’ve seen on you always put a huge emphasis on either your wings or your hero status, and I don’t really see why,” you mumbled, placing one hand on his jawline while the other fixed his hair to your liking, letting a few strands fall in front of his eyes, “I think that just creates a divide. If they wanted you to seem angelic they should play that up, not just have it the norm,” you huffed, “anyway, I wanna put the emphasis on you and not your wings. So ideally if you could tuck them behind your back that would be wonderful,” 

Hawks nodded, disappointment filling him as you stepped away. He made sure not to move as he awkwardly folded his wings over each other and pulled them in, glancing at you with a look of apprehension. You just nodded in approval, leaning down to your camera. 

You took plenty of shots, allowing him plenty more opportunities to feel your hands on him (and he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it). 

“Hey, why were you so late today?” Hawks dared to question while you were analysing your photos. You were perched on a bench, appreciating your work. The late sun cast a golden sheen on his skin, the spattering of glimmering rays highlighting his face in all the right places. 

“I was sleeping,” you responded, deleting an out of focus shot. His eyes narrowed.

“What?” “Just as it sounds. Figured if they were gonna make me work so I could only have three hours of sleep a night it was gonna be on their time, not mine,” he frowned, taking a seat next to you.

“They shouldn’t work you that hard,” you shrugged with a hollow laugh, blank gaze in your eyes. 

“What am I gonna do? Have them fire me? As much as I hate this job it’s the only thing that pays for my coffee in the morning,” he was silent as you stood up, stretching your arms behind your bag before tucking everything back in your bag. 

“Did you want to be a photographer?” he questioned, only to be met with a forlorn smile.

“Maybe at one point.” the two of you lapsed into silence before you sighed.

“Well, I’ve gotta submit these to Mizuki, and I’m sure you need-” Hawks caught your wrist, spinning you back around.

In the glow of the sunset, you looked almost ethereal. Your eyes gleamed, and cheeks warmed in the orange flare. Sunflowers framed your form, and the words caught in his throat, nearly stopping him from saying anything at all.

“Come work for me.” he blurted. You snorted.

“No.” all he could do was smile as you hopped back over the fence, not waiting up for him.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought you’d say.”

[photogrivy]

When it became all too clear that the woman opposite her did not see the funny side to the situation, Ivy grimaced. The brunette seemed to be losing all hope, her forehead creasing with concern, eyes taking on a puppy-like state that tugged indelicately at Ivy’s otherwise sturdy heartstrings. 

“You look like I pissed in your cornflakes, so I’m just gonna shut up and go over there now,” she cringed, jerking a thumb over her shoulder in the general direction that she was hoping the floor might swallow her hole. 

Ivy wasn’t one to be embarrassed easily; she had a bad habit of speaking her mind even to the detriment of herself and others. She didn’t tend to mince her words, and a lot of the time was pretty unfazed about who she’d potentially offended. In this case, though, she felt guilty. She knew how hard it was to build a business from the bottom upwards, her own photography being a perfect example of the fact. Ivy had spent years trying to hone her skills and curate a portfolio that accurately represented her and what she stood for. If her job shadowing Max, rather than being lead photographer as she’d hoped, was any indication, she still had a way to go, and only time and experience could really help a person improve. 

She grimaced at the woman across from her, the silence between them uncomfortable. With a sigh, Ivy pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a migraine coming on as the gravity of the situation weighed down on her. 

“Okay, listen. I’m sorry – It's just...” she paused, weighing out her options. She could apologise, tell the girl her work was wonderful, and be content with her good deed of the day. Or she could be honest but use it as an opportunity to be constructive. She decided to opt for the latter and hope for the best. 

She glanced down at the ruined sheet of paper, now permanently abandoned atop Ivy’s bar. She gave it a quick once over, this time trying to look past the ugly font and poorly lit images, instead focusing on the subject of each photo. 

“So, your work’s actually kind of amazing. Assuming those pieces, the clothes, that’s what you’re selling? Right?” She asked, hoping to earn herself back some brownie points with all the right adjectives. “But the photos are the issue here. You need to know how to frame them, the kind of lighting that shows them off and makes people wanna buy what you’re selling.” 

As good as Ivy was at what she did, words weren’t her area of expertise. She tended to flounder over the correct terminology, technical terms sometimes going straight over her head. But she knew her way around the camera, even if she couldn’t always put it into words.  

She jabbed a finger at one of the dresses on display, a pretty green piece that was being poorly showcased on a backdrop so stark and oversaturated that it looked a harsh yellow. 

“The colours don’t blend well together, which I’m betting you absolutely know already,” Ivy shrugged. 

If the woman worked in fashion, then she surely needed an eye for colours and the correct blends, as well as what trends were current and how they might mix well together. 

“The lighting stinks, too. But, honestly? Your presentation is great. The clothes, too. You just need a little help with the framing and the lighting, something an actual photographer might be able to help you with?” 

Staring at the bartender over the rim of her glass, Chess lifted her eyebrows in tandem with the other woman, accidentally mirroring her features. She figured it was probably time to give up on the sodden sheet of paper and feebly dropped it atop the bar, popping first her thumb, then her forefinger between her red lips and sucking the sticky sweetness from her fingers.

"I mean, yes?" Chess frowned, "I need all of these things?"

Trying not to be horribly offended as the woman began to laugh, Chess put her glass down with a little more force than entirely necessary, the sugary-pink drink slopping against the side of the glass. She really wished she understood the joke, because it was clearly absolutely hilarious to the other woman. She was practically holding onto the edge of the bartop to keep her upright, for crying out loud! As her laughs ganered the attention of literally every other patron in the bar, Chess resisted the childish urge to shove her to get her to shut up. Instead, she simply slunk down further in her seat, hoping the pretty Instagram models from her table hadn't noticed she was about to be laughed out of the place.

"Why not? What's wrong with it?"

Chess peered down at the sodden paper, damp, but still ultimately recognisable as her work. Chess had always thought of herself as having an eye for beautiful things. Her tiny apartment was impeccably decorated to the best of her ability, and to her finances. And of course, her wardrobe was stuffed with beautiful pieces. She'd been pretty proud of her work, even with her limited graphic design skills and resources. Her blog looked nice, didn't it? Then again, she hadn't actually done the majority of the work on there. She'd had Sara Otto, computer whiz extraordinaire, to code her gorgeous little corner of the internet. She hadn't been able to pay her, of course, but she'd packaged up her vintage leather jacket Sara had always coveted and given it to Jax to take home on his next visit.

"No? I took these photos." she frowned, biting her bottom lip. Sure, she'd used her iPhone to do most of the work, and the lighting wasn't great, and her iPhone camera wasn't great...

Nerves settled in the bottom of Chess' stomach. Was her stuff really that awful?

"Oh God. I'm literally here trying to pitch myself! Are you telling me that it looks like my six year old made this?"

[msgrumpygills]

An Ask

Social Media Anon here!

Well, I'm a little confused (and surprised) by what's going on in the padalecki's social media but I have a (I think) rational theory.

Firstly, engagement is EVERYTHING, but it's a very current indicator, it only tracks the median of the last 20 posts, which for some posters can be week on week.

Even taking that into account, Jared and Gen are going through the floor!

Take Gen first, it used to be that each type of post she had received a specific "value". Her alone, not many likes for her following (20-35K), then her with the kids got more, her with Jared got WAY MORE, the kids alone got way more and Jared.. was her prize.

I said that, as her engagement was in danger of slipping below 3, her props would come out more, kids and in particular JARED would feature more on her block. That's what happened (it wasn't rocket science) BUT the value of Jared in likes has diminished substantially, which I wasn't expecting. Her romantic Tuscan adventure posts are getting only 40K after a week. A photo of her and Jared would normally be in the 100k. Then, of course, he had a rarity value but now he's plastering himself everywhere (I'll come back to that). Even the kids are getting less likes. To get high likes it has to be a professional photograph with Jared looking super hot. Snap with him looking... well ordinary... isn't enough.

However, she's pushed her engagement back up to 6, mainly because her content is 60% Jared now.

What's really interesting is what is happening to Jared's social media. His engagement is going DOWN. He was at 6.49 when I looked last night, which is a MEGA FALL. that's good in media terms but nothing like the previous excellent.. and it's a BIG drop in a short time.

So, what's happening? Well I think two things.

Firstly, there is, yet another, Jared rebranding. He seems to be becoming a professional Texan. He can't do an interview without saying Y'all and mentioning Texas. He IS Texan, but he spent 15 years promoting a soft, mid America Jared and now he just seems like SOUTHERN GUY. Given Walker advertises on Fox, it's not surprising he's going for this image, but he definitely seems to be hitting a new market. He has to be really careful that doesn't alienate his old ones. You tell a man by the company he keeps and Jared seems to hang out with dicks... and he does it on social media.

Secondly, he's getting overexposed. He's EVERYWHERE to fans with nonsense stories. Given that that is Gen's thing with the blog he should have realised how irritating it is. There is no actual content in his exposure. He's either flogging orange pee or at hooters or on a gondola, it's boring.

Jared needs to get a CONTENT CREATOR. Over exposure is a killer.

I can see the network have an issue. They need Walker to break the CW bubble. They are missing the point though. It DID. Week one was brilliant for them. The show is crap and viewers turned off. There problem wasn't attracting viewers , it's show content. They turned off.

Jared is going down hill on Social Media. Jensen will get a BIG PUSH when soldier boy arrives on screen and before by Kripke to draw SPN fans in. So it'll be interesting to see whether Soldier Boy, rather than Walker, causes the schizm in J2 social media joint tracking, with them finally reliant on their own current conduct rather than the legacy of SPN.

If it does that will be something to discuss with those who claimed Jensen was becoming a bit part actor to Jared's super success.

My own view, this is an exercise in quality mattering, which is something Jared and Gen both need to learn. Their social media is SPN social media, when that dies at the moment so do they.

Oh, and Gen and TOWWN are both raiding the piggie bank to buy followers again...

Stay Safe everyone!

Social Media anon requested this be corrected to be anonymous but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to get it as an ask, so here we are! 

I think that it says a lot about Jared and Gen’s content (mostly Gen on this point) that even the props aren’t bringing in the interest anymore. I’ve always said that they come off as too fake and manufactured to come off as genuine. 

Just for kicks I went to Jensen’s IG, Jared’s IG, Gen’s IG and Danneel’s IG. I compared the numbers of similar types of posts (I even picked ones that were posted roughly around the same time) and the difference is incredible. Jensen’s birthday post for JJ has over 1 million likes, Jared’s post of him and O (posted around the same time, if not further back) has half of that. I think people really are picking up on Jared and Gen coming off as fake. 

I’ve seen people who are getting tired of the constant content so I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that oversaturation of the Pads is getting to people. You know there’s something amiss when Danneel, who only posts once in a while now, gets twice the amount of likes and comments as Gen does and she posts every day. I’m sure that does wonders for her ego too. 

I’m interested to see how the social media numbers change when Soldier Boy is introduced on screen and during the break from Walker, that’s for sure.

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

(Image description: five pairs of art showing my progress from the past to the present. Each pair contains an old drawing or digital painting and a new recreation of it. All the new recreations are labeled "September 2021" and I will detail each pair out below. End description.)

Sometimes you have to brave the ancient deviantart archives and redraw stuff.

March 2009: a colored pencil drawing on notebook paper of my two oldest ocs in a field. This is a winged unicorn girl (a self insert persona, but too humanoid to be a furry), and an elf dude on a horse (my fictional self's lover). They seem to be racing each other. I have to laugh at my rather chibi and very disproportionate anatomy from back then. This would have been the end of eight grade, just before I turned 14. Hard to look at this and remember that people told me I was talented. I don't think I actually drew much better than any other 13 year old who liked to doodle.

The recreated piece is of course a digital painting. The mountains and field look much clearer. The horse finally looks like a horse. The compositional perspective and the character proportions are more realistic now.

March 2010: a totally unnamed character, apparently an elf who is a veterinarian. Also an early attempt at digital painting. The background is a scribbled mess of brown and green, there are small critters around that are only sort of recognizable and definitely did not make use of references. The elf's head is very large, his shoulders almost nonexistent. But you sure can tell I liked to draw eyes.

The new digital painting has a much cleaner forested background. The critters are now more recognizable as a peacock, a cat, a goldfinch, and some kind of purple salamander dragon. The elf's proportions look proper now and his face has been turned to look more directly at the bird flying to his hand.

April 2011: a colored pencil drawing testing out a cell shaded style on an almost chibi character. They look a lot like the previous winged unicorn girl, with the same wings and general color palette. This is because they were meant to be her kid. They have a falcon perched on their hand and a missing arm. Their bare chest shows large scars from some kind of clawed creature. I don't remember the story behind this.

The new digital recreation does not attempt to mimic the chibi style or the cel shading style. But it gives the character an updated look that is a little more realistic, fixing the straight legs to proper digitigrade ones, fixing the wing proportions. Also the scars are no longer a dark red, they actually look like scars rather than a fresh wound.

April 2012: a digital portrait of a blond elf man with a small purple dragon on his shoulder. Half his face has been burned so badly that he is missing an eye, and some portion of his lips and nose are also gone. His neck is far too long, the colors are rather flat and disjointed.

The new recreation has fixed his facial proportions and shortened his neck. The burn scarring on his face no longer looks bright red, it looks older and more healed. The purple dragon is a duller color to mesh with the rest of the image, and it has cleaner anatomy as well.

June 2013: a pencil sketch of a character who was at the time named "mikkel nyuen". The photo of this drawing came out very yellow. The pencil shading is either washed out or was always rather light to begin with. He is smiling and holding a bow. His body looks too long and his face a bit too short.

The digital recreation uses the same warm yellow color palette as the oversaturated pencil drawing. The character was renamed Mikul Jitir, and has an eyebrow piercing with chains connected to an earring, as well as a side shave on his head. He looks older than his previous iteration, more mature. His shoulders and chest are a little broader to suit the fact that he seems to be an archer.

[evilzoldyck]

High School Sweethearts

It was hard to speak when you’re bent over the desk while your boyfriend forcefully held your head down, flipped your skirt over and tugged your underwear to the side to bring his hard dick right into your raw cunt. Nevertheless, he seemed unbothered by the lack of preparation as he started to thrust vehemently with a bitter passion, inattentive to your feelings and inconsiderate to your needs.

The sensation of Phinks’ vigorous intrusion left a burning and stinging ache on your end, this was by far the most painful sex you’ve had with him, if you even can call it that. The dim classroom you were in too offered no comfort whatsoever, the hard wooden desk beneath you and the pressure of him from above was beginning to give your chest an uncomfortable squeeze.

You think of shoving him off and escaping, but you knew that you were no match for his almost monstrous strength, had it not been for his appearance you would mistake him for another being for possessing such Herculean-like power. You also knew that he locked the door, and further beyond that stood his friends keeping a steady watch for his buddy that just wanted to have a little talk with his girl.

All because he heard rumours spreading around school that you were going to breakup with him.

“So fucking stupid,” Phinks venomously spat out. His brows furrowed furiously with his eyes pierced to your helpless form, his violent thrusts never faltered even through your stammering pleas. The sheer unbridled fury he exuded left you crippling in fear on whether you’re going to come out of this classroom in one piece. You’ve seen what he was like around others, you just didn’t anticipate that you’d be receiving the infamous temper from him so soon.

His rage that was once rigorously contained around you were now left unchained, you just pray that somebody would come through the door and rescue you before he does anything worse. 

Coarse hands slid through your strands and bunched your hair together near the roots to sharply pull them. You were honestly glad you didn’t have to face him through this ordeal, you couldn’t stand seeing his face shooting acrimonious glares into your own, but mostly it’s because you didn’t want him to see you crying. You couldn’t let him see how much he hurt you, how much power he had over you for he might take pleasure in your humiliated, broken state. 

Letting the tears run down your face silently, you gripped onto the edge of the desk so tightly that your knuckles turned white from the grip, biting down on your lip to prevent any sobs from slipping out. You felt Phinks’ gruff pants from behind you, his hands never relenting from squeezing down on your hips and pulling on your hair harshly. It was clear he was far from forgiving you or even listening to what you had to say; all he could focus on was exerting his emotions physically onto you. 

You should’ve seen this coming. The school’s infamous social pariah showing up randomly into your class and threatening others to leave just so he could ask you out in private. Of course you questioned it, just exactly what had you done to garner his attention? It wasn’t as if you were in or even knew his tight knit circle personally. You knew that he was a bad influence, the kind of company he keeps and the reputation he carries would just be detrimental to your respectable social image. 

But at that time, you couldn’t care less. His awkward and brusque confession was so endearing that it was enough to convince yourself to give him a chance. Who knew underneath that coarse exterior was something that was sweet and almost kind albeit a little unsure, however you figured he was trying. Wondering why it took him to come forward and reveal himself for you to see through his facade after all this time before.

However you knew that at this age you were not going to come close to actually know what real love is or even begin to understand it. Also, you weren’t expecting that Phinks would be the one you’d see at the end of the aisle waiting for you, but you at least wanted the high school romance experience. To have your very first boyfriend during the height of your exuberant and capricious youthful days. Something to look back at history and reminisce to.

The first week with him was great, the unwavering stares and the nebulous whispers were just what you were expecting when you accepted his confessions, though you weren’t quite used to the blinding spotlight as you stood at the centre topic of high school gossip. If Phinks ever felt the same way, he didn’t mention anything to address it. Rather he would see you after class and take you onto the rooftop where he effectively broke the lock on the door with an effortless tug just to have some time with alone with you.

To be within a close proximity with someone like Phinks emotionally and physically was a bit daunting. In the first few days you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him straight in the eyes or ask the questions you’ve been dying to know like: since when? How? Why? Nevertheless you  knew it was best not to ask since you figured Phinks himself wasn’t very good at articulating his emotions anyway. You figured the small pauses of comfortable silence and shy touches would be enough for now. 

You still remember that day where he stole you from gym class to bring you to a secluded corner in the back of the building. Your very first kiss was shared there and you couldn’t deny that the heart at least flickered. It was like a scene from an oversaturated romance clip ever, but the soft feeling of his lips against yours with his rough hands gently cupping your cheeks was something directors couldn’t sincerely translate to the audience.

When he pressured you to skip class one morning, you thought it would just be a one time thing. But the next thing you knew, you’d find yourself in aimlessly wondering the streets with Phinks by your side every day. Of course, the grades that you worked so hard to keep up before suffered because of your arbitrary absence, leading you to stay up late each night to catch up because you find it so hard to say no to him. 

The more time you spent with him, the more you began to notice that you hardly had the chance to see your friends. They also noticed it too and though they were mildly concerned as to why you would say yes to a guy you barely knew or talked to, they were happy for your new profound relationship. 

You couldn’t help but feel awkward every time you pass your small circle of friends by the hallway with Phinks close by your side. Your heart tightened as you all shoot a polite smile at each other, the familiarity that you all shared once before was diminishing slowly. 

Phinks was always invasive of your personal life, the moments of time you didn’t share with him, he’d intrude and let himself in anyway. You recounted at how he would scroll through your phone with a pensive glare, looking as if he’s expecting to catch something. You didn’t like it, but you also didn’t know that this wasn’t supposed to be a normal high school relationship.

You stared anxiously as Phinks’ eyes scrutinised your phone screen, scrolling through your apps, photos, messages and contacts. While there was nothing for you to hide, you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable letting him go through your phone. Sitting patiently across him, you fidgeted with your nails hoping that he wouldn’t find something to get angry at. 

“Who’s this?” He glared at you, showing you a name on your contacts that you had forgotten. It was your science project partner from last year, you forgot you still had his number in your contacts. When you replied just as what you had thought, he returned his eyes back to the phone and pressed delete. Even though you didn’t need it, you wanted to refute, tell him he couldn’t just erase someone’s number from you like that.

And it was as if he read your mind, you suddenly perked up when he bluntly said, “the project’s over right?” While continuing his peruse on your social connections.

“Yeah,” you dryly replied, looking down at your shoes as if they’re the most fascinating thing in the world. You hated it when he got just a little bit mad, you’ve seen the extent of his anger and even if you were his, there was no telling what he’d do if you push him far enough off the edge. So you often found yourself doing mental gymnastics to justify his actions.

“Then you don’t need it anymore,” he stated, almost coming off as condescending. You weakly agreed with him. 

The time he suggested the both of you study at your house that day you told him how you were falling behind on maths, you didn’t think much of it. In fact, you were excited. Throughout the relationship he’d always set the schedule for the both of you and when he finally considered to set up a time that you needed, you were touched. Though that feeling quickly fleeted when he suddenly pinned you down on your bed. 

“P-Phinks,” you breathed out in between his kisses. Your body was superimposed by his while his hands that held your sides desperately roamed freely. The books that you brought were uselessly thrown to the carpeted floor and it was clear to you now that studying wasn’t his intention from the start. 

You held on to his shoulder and pushed him so that there was some distance between you two. “I thought we were just going to study,” you asked earnestly, looking for some sympathy in his eyes. 

He smirked smugly and leaned in to kiss you once again, “yeah?” He chuckled in amusement. “That’s cute.” You should’ve known he couldn’t give what he didn’t have. He practically ripped your uniform blouse to get to your skin, not minding the buttons that scattered everywhere. His mind was set in stone for pleasure while yours was a conundrum. 

Do you want to give it to him right now? Are you ready to lose your virginity? Does this mean he was The One? Do you want to save it for someone else? Who? Is high school the time to explore these things? Were you moving too fast?

You couldn’t remember what happened during the intercourse, but you remembered him finally leaving when your parents came home. 

The next day your friends lead you to a quiet corner of the school to finally talk, they strategically caught you on a rare time where Phinks was preoccupied with reigning chaos over some unfortunate student with his friends. Knowing that you preferred to stay out of it, Phinks reluctantly left you alone for the day. 

They confronted you about him, how he’s got you on such a tight leash and how they missed you, wondering when you’ll be back with them just like the old times. When it was time for you to answer, you couldn’t properly structure a sentence. Instead, the next thing you knew there was tears in your eyes. You murmured out that he took advantage of you, you couldn’t help but sob out uncontrollably and fell down to the abrasive gravel. 

Hearing yourself admit it out loud helped you processed the thoughts and feelings of the altercation of what happened yesterday. Your friends were immediately by your side, holding you tightly as you cried out in distress. They shot each other a bewildered look at the implication of your statement. You held on to the supportive grip of their hands, letting yourself sob into their shoulders as they hugged you tightly and soothed your back while occasionally brushing your hair back from your wet face, not telling you to stop or say anything else.

The familiar warmth you’ve been craving for all this time, they gave it to you without question. You poured out your heart that period, wept until your tears went dry and sobbed until your lungs gave out. They never left your side. You figured once you told them you’d feel humiliated and embarrassed but they never even made an accusation of the sort, in fact they prevented you from thinking such things about yourself.

When they suggested the police get involved, you quickly opposed, you didn’t want to make such a noise about it. Perhaps you still regarded some feelings for him, even though you shouldn’t and he could never deserve it, but regardless you didn’t want anyone else to know. Though it was clear that they weren’t satisfied, they settled on you breaking up with him for now. 

You didn’t know who stumbled and saw you that day with your friends, but someone did. News travelled around the campus like a grapevine and soon everyone is whispering of you breaking up with the infamous Phinks Magcub soon. 

When the gossip finally reached him, he threw the maths report that he waited on for some kid to finally finish it in anger, leaving the papers to fall onto the muddy ground behind him as he marched straight to the building. He was going to surprise you with the report you’ve been so worried about and to hear of your betrayal enraged him to the point that he couldn’t hear or see anyone but you.

Meanwhile you stood in an empty classroom, worried when your friends didn’t come to your class on the last bell of the day in which they promised to meet, the whispers were getting louder and you weren’t sure how you could face him alone. You looked out the window and sighed, it was going to rain again. If that wasn’t an a bad omen the moment you turned to the door where Phinks suddenly emerged from was. 

You were so naive to think you can escape him without a scratch.

Phinks could hear the sobs you tried to stifle as you pleaded out when you finally couldn’t handle it anymore. “S-Stop- Phinks please...” you whispered out, squeezing out the tears stinging your eyes. Your throat felt like it was coiled with wires of barbs tightening every time you held yourself back from emitting a sound.

He let out a series of violent thrusts before he finally came, pulling your hair down harshly as you cried in pain. Once he let go of your hair and tucked himself back in, he turned you around to look at your grief stricken face. “Are you sorry?” He asked, completely apathetic to your side. You weakly nodded, casting your eyes from his. 

“Good girl,” he brusquely wiped your cheek with his thumb before pulling you close to him, forcing you to lay your head in his shoulder. You feel his lips tickle your ear when he muttered softly, “let’s not fight anymore.” 

It wasn’t like you had a say in it anyway.

[marshmallowprotection]

Out of Unknown, SE, GE, Suit, and Ray, who is the horniest? From Most to least in your opinion??

Okay. I do have an opinion here. There’s a line here because I think we need to talk about the level of strong infatuation that many of these boys have. Desiring another person isn’t inherently sexual in nature. Lust isn’t just about sex, nor is desire. You can want something strongly but it doesn’t have to lewd in nature to be wanted. 

That being said, I do HC Saeran as Demi, so it does take him a long time to want another person in that way, but he does experience an incredibly strong fondness for his MC. I think there is definitely a scale here but I think I’ll just go through each of the boys and describe their desire and you can read into that however you want. 

Ray is infatuated and determined to have you. He wants you, he wants to hold your hand and he wants to protect you from the outside world. He’s in love with the idea of you before he even knows you, and it isn’t until he realizes that you are better than his fantasies does he start to realize that his desires are far more vast than he thought. He is overwhelmed with his desire the more he is around you, and while he is capable of fantasizing about you in such ways, that isn’t his biggest desire. For him, all he wants is to hold your hand and fawn over you like a precious little doll. 

Suit Saeran desires you for reasons that he doesn’t understand. At first, he thinks it may be because he wants to take everything from Ray and make it his own to prove that he is the one that can protect the body. But, as his desire for power gets muddled and he starts to break down when his strength isn’t true strength, he feels lost on what he wants. His desire for you doesn’t make sense to him, does he want you to treat him as you did Ray, or does he want you to treat him like Saeran? He doesn’t know. He talks of a big game, and how he could have you if he wanted you, but at the end of the day, he isn’t sure how far he would actually go. 

Unknown doesn’t want you the way that Suit Saeran or Ray wants you. In act, you’re sort of an afterthought, a bonus prize in his game of revenge. You’re a tool, a toy, something to amuse him when he needs something to hold onto. His desire is destruction and getting rid of everyone that hurt him, and his thoughts can be very territorial and grim, but he’s far less inclined to do or act on an impulse with you unless it’s to his benefit. I, unfortunately, cite one of Seven’s bad endings where he sends… lewd photos to Seven to destroy him. That was a desire for pain, not exactly a lust on his part for you. That’s not to say he doesn’t want you, he wants you committed to him, too. 

SE Saeran is tired, he’s the Unknown that is in recovery and trying to get better after everything that he went through. He’s exhausted, and although he’s lived through so much, it’s hard for him to really want anything apart from what he’s lucked into. Well, he’s got his brother again and he has that MC, and he’s fortunate for that. His desire for you would be rather low, not very lewd in nature. He’s far more content to not get overwhelmed or strongly into something again. It’s more likely for him to just want ice cream with you than anything else, even cuddling is a stretch. His desire is to recover, slowly, but surely. He needs time before something like that. 

GE Saeran wants you because you’re the person that believed in him and helped him to see that he needed to change his ways to be happy. He found it on his own, but he will always cite you as the one that helped him get through it all. He isn’t sure where to start or how far is okay for him to act out. There’s a lot of talking, but he definitely wants to take things further with you but he will discover that takes time and patience. He will break down and cry the first few times that it gets close, far more oversaturated than he thought. He does have wants but you have to ease him into it, there’s a lot of shame here. 

So, I think they all have their own level and we shouldn’t really try to gauge which is which at the end of the day. The healthiest path would likely be with SE or GE Saeran, as they are both working to heal and get better, and the overwhelming type of emotion that comes with sharing your body like that would be best for someone that can handle it.