#the petty little bitch energy !!
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rouge-the-bat · 11 days ago
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been watching sailor moon and im kinda really digging this lil prettyboy villain thats quite fruity with this other villain guy, but said prettyboy is the henchman thats becoming the focus after the previous two villain henchmen were killed so im like :( not looking promising for this mans future
but like hello. crying on another mans lap as he literally pets you. sitting with him Like That. holding his hand and rubbing ur face against it like a cat. looking like you are sitting in his lap from behind. calling him master (according to translation). what do you MEAN ur probably gonna get just a few episodes of screentime before being killed off :( i want to see more of whatever this situation is
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the sailor girls need to stop falling in love at first sight with random basic men and start getting on this kinda level with each other
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absolutelybifurious · 4 months ago
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thepixelblender · 9 months ago
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I will now confidently inform the board that this post was about seil chang of buried stars and he did NOT disappoint I love a petty bitch entangled in the emotional complexities of his own failure desperately clinging onto the strings like struggling in quicksand and unable to face reality either way
a reoccurring flaw of mine is that a videogame will present me with a bespectacled male character whose concept ties to envy spite and entitlement with -2 redeeming qualities and it activates the In Depth Media Analysis Of The Stupidest Variety part of my brain
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w1shfullthink1ng · 2 months ago
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𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅, 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 & 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋
nika mühl x teammate!fem!reader
DESCRIPTION/ while at a game you’re getting particularly targeted by the opposing team and it eventually gets out of hand but..nika don’t play about her girl
WARNINGS/ light descriptions of shoving & hitting, hateful words, descriptions of a bloody nose, cursing, spitting
Lost count of words but this is kinda short, more of a blurb (I think don’t quote me on that🌝)
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THERE’S 3 THINGS NIKA DONT PLAY ABOUT, HERSELF, HER MONEY OR HER GIRL…you’ve always been independent and Nika knows you’re tough and can handle yourself but one of y’all’s relationship dynamics is you saying “I can do it myself” and Nika saying “I know you can but let me” She’s always been protective over you especially in games.
It’s the only the first quarter but you can tell that the opposing team was on your ass. You didn’t blame them at first, you where a menace on the court if you’re left un-guarded you would be quick to shoot. But it got the point where you where LITERALLY getting pushed around with multiple technical fouls getting called on the other team. Sure this was a contact sport but you where getting insanely targeted. You pull yourself together & get your head back in the game.
One of the opposing players had the ball, she sprinted down the court. She was on a mission but so where you. You block her shot and steal the ball passing it down to Nika she shoots and gets a three. The opposing player looked livid “that was just a fucking lucky play” the girl murmured at you and Nika. Both of you quick to snap your head around, you where pissed but held your tongue, Nika did the talking for you “How about you say it with your chest next time” she just rolled her eyes and continued the game.
As the game went on it only got worse the shoves got more personal, little snarky comments, the bitchy looks. It didn’t bother you as much as it did now, the refs not calling fouls on the other team for obvious techs only added fuel to the fire. Nika was fighting back for you giving back the same energy to them. The ball was in your hands and suddenly you got dogged on a girl trying to snatch the ball from you causing y’all both to fall to the ground you didn’t give up tho you snatched it right the hell back, “fucking bitch” she said getting all in your face. The whistle blew and a technical foul got called ONLY on you, you rolled your eyes as your teammates helped you up “bullshit” you exclaimed at the ref, Nika holds you back patting your back “Come on bebo they’re assholes I know but don’t get another unnecessary foul just fight them with your plays alright, make ‘em shut there mouths”
As the next quarter rolls around you just try to keep your head up, Nika having your back being aggressive with them & standing up for you. The balls back in your possession you go to make a shot but the same girl that pushed you down goes to “block”, her elbow hitting your nose knocking you down to the ground. The whole room felt like it was spinning there was a ringing in your ears. Once you felt a little more grounded you look down seeing blood on your jersey, you brought your hand up to your throbbing nose feeling the blood gushing down. The whistle blows a foul getting called on the opposing team fina-fucking-lly
“The fuck is your deal?” you see Nika yelling at the girl that elbowed you. “It’s a contact sport, if she can’t handle a little contact then she should pick a different sport” she bites back, Your teamates helps getting you to the medic. Nika scoffs at the girl. “maybe you should watch your damn mouth, getting all petty because you’re shit at basketball so you have to get fouls just to make a single shot” the girl shoved Nika and that’s when she lost it. Nika shoved her right back causing her to hit the ground. “Foul on Mühl” the ref called.
“keep my girls name out your fucking mouth” she spit on the girl. With another foul called on her she got dragged court side, she had been benched for this quarter of the game. She sat next you, her gaze immediately softening “Hey pretty girl, you okay?” she moves a lose stand of hair that fell from your ponytail out of your face. you nod “i’m fine nika..but you shouldn’t have got into a physical altercation now you’re ben-“ she cut you off “I wasn’t just gonna stand there and let you get dogged on, you know i got your back always..besides it’s just this quarter of the game” she cups your face gently “I wasn’t gonna let some bitch touch what’s mine and get away with it”
After a lecture from the couches & the refs they let Nika & you back in the game for the last quarter. Y’all played like y’all’s life depended on it. You already know you guys secured that win. You celebrated once y’all won. Nika pulling you into a tight hug “That’s my girl!..hell yeah see bebo I told you just let your plays do the talking” she winks “says the one who yelled and spat on a girls face” you laugh, she kisses you to shut you up, she smiles against your lips “And i’d gladly do it again for you, besides I play better when i’m pissed”
A/N pissed off Nika is so hot so yk I had to write about it mhm mhm 🙂‍↕️this is my first blurb so please be kind! writing tips & suggestions are always appreciated & requests are open🫡
love you always thanks for reading,
wish signing off 🪽
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vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago
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'my cousin is all stomach and no heart' is such a funny thing for illario to tell rook if he maybe is picking up on a little bit of a Vibe going on there. the 'LMAO. well good luck with that friend. better hotties than you have tried and failed and dashed themselves against the legendarily unamorous cliffs of my cousin's complete obliviousness and lack of interest to no avail. (optional 'may I suggest a more hah-hem *undoes another few buttons on his shirt that thing is open almost to his navel now it's borderline obscene* available dellamorte for your consideration. I mean if you're like in the market for one anyway' devious undertone as you see fit)' energy is off the charts.
(illario is above all a funny petty bitch and that's why I love him so indescribably. no no lucanis is right we need him around to drop shade like this he is in fact also an essential crow. we all contribute in our own ways)
#also I need to see his face when he realizes that lucanis IS in fact fucking that weird little goth twink. On The Regular and w enthusiasm#'of ALL the people who've thrown themselves at you over the years THIS is what you go for?? 'festooned in skulls' is your thing???'#(lucanis' thing is emotional security and safe sincere enduring affection but I don't think illario could grasp that in a thousand years)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I actually think the writing as it stands for illario could work really well if the voice direction had been better#the voice actor is using such an obvious aggro Ze Evil Voice tone the whole way through I think if he was more soft-spoken#and more seemingly good-naturedly jocular and sometimes vulnerable the actual words work well enough to add some subtlety#(I mean. not a lot of subtlety. it's not like you'd wonder who the traitor is and I frankly don't think you're really meant to#that's not the point. it's a car crash you have to watch. but it would make the emotional tone a bit different and more compelling)#between that and some of the environmental storytelling -- the burned letter from zara even though the whole house is FULL#of venatori there's really no point in like. hiding evidence at this point lol vs. the one he wrote lucanis lying neatly on a table#in the same room -- the fact that he can't bring himself to hurt caterina. he seems to be staying in the room across the hall from her.#you know there are some signs here that just maybe#lucanis' hopes for him are not as completely incomprehensibly delusional as it looks on the surface haha
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daemonbrain · 17 days ago
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Little Viper
Prologue | Chapter 1
(Daemon Targaryen x Dornish!Reader)
Summary: The sun could not reach you here, not in this city of rain and stink. (Un)fortunately, you found yourself at the mercy of a dragon's fire.
You've missed the heat, you supposed.
6k, CW: arranged marriage, canon divergent, canon-typical violence, canon-typical misogyny, reader is homesick, smut, will update as I post.
a/n: This was def a bitch to write lol, I really need to get back into it. I haven't decided whether i'm going to turn this into a proper multi-part series or not so I encourage you to leave comments if this is something you'd be interested in :) Edit: This was previously ch. 1, but I decided I didn't love the pacing so this is now the prologue!
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To My Lord-Father,
It has been well over a week's time since you’ve sent me- your dearest child- away. A few days time since I last felt the weight of the sun's warmth upon my skin. The overcast weather befitting of my current disposition and this city, nay, kingdom’s shortcomings compared to our beloved Dorne.
I arrived a few hours ago, though I swiftly left the company of King Jaehaerys and the rest of his court's brazen stares upon arrival… you’d think they had never seen a Dornishmen before. However, the reason being for my early retreat was not the scrutiny, rather that I don’t feel particularly well. You know I've never enjoyed sea travel, for it makes me sickly. Or this may just be my body’s desperate act of resistance against this poorly-conceived match you’ve sold me to. Be that as it may, it does not do to dwell as you would say.
I am willing to do this wretched duty as Princess of Dorne, to bring upon us a lasting peace. At the very least for Qoren’s sake, I suppose. 
Though I am cross with you, I cannot say it isn’t regrettable to hear that your ailment has rendered you unable to make the journey to King’s Landing… your absence will be strongly felt, father. Just as it has been.
On a less glum note, I feel my dreadful spirits being lifted. It’s as if I can sense my brother's approach to the Blackwater Bay where I will eagerly await him on the morrow, perfectly on time for the ceremony.
I miss you and shall count the days until I am able to return home? Sunspear home to see you. Do not strain yourself while Qoren and I are away.
Best Regards, Your Daughter.
100 A.C
Had you been in your previous state of fury and pettiness, you might have crossed out “daughter” in favor of  “forsaken issue”. Mayhaps if you had the energy at present, you would have.
While on the sea, you had been given much time before your grand entrance to reconcile yourself with your forlorn state of affairs. The reconciliation being overindulgence of barrels worth of Dornish Red on board. The “wedding” gift Qoren so thoughtlessly japed. 
Your pitiful drunken outbursts in the privacy of your quarters, lest you cause any rumors before even arriving at the port. You would curse the day you were born, the day your father was born, the day his father before him. 
Prince Daemon and his drunkard bride, a blessed match.
However, after the unremitting bouts of nausea ultimately won over your desire to numb your senses. Leagues away from the Dornish border and fast approaching your fate, your anger could not sustain you so wholly in the middle of the Narrow Sea.
Taking a moment from your trivial displeasure, you hunched over, placing your forehead to the wooden desk in your guest chambers with a thud. Holding yourself tightly as if that would dull the unpleasant rumble in your belly, rocking your body as the ship had mere hours ago.
A warm welcome to this shitpile of a city. You chuckled to yourself, to the empty room. You could only assume the things Qoren would say about this horrid place. How dull the walls were, the lack of open air. No bright colours and suns embellishing every piece of fabric. 
He would make a wisecrack remark, “Oh how drab the Targaryen splendor is!” 
Though he would say it in a far more humorous way. His asinine character a natural talent to a prick such as himself you believed.
Pushing yourself up with your ink covered hands, you groaned and ambled over to the opened window where the steady whistle of the wind entered. The moon was shrouded in the looming storm clouds, doing little to nothing in regards of illuminating the Red Keep’s disappointingly plain architecture (you may be biased) and the city below. If you gave too much focus, you might begin to smell the… aromas King’s Landing had to offer from all the way up here. None pleasant.
Your belly ached and gurgled as you thought back to the putrid smell that overwhelmed you as you were transported from the Blackwater Bay to the Red Keep.
Before you could dwell any longer, you sighed and shut the window tightly, nothing deemed interesting enough to watch anyways. Instead, your newfound anxieties find their way back to entertain you, the only thing keeping your company as of late.
You had a duty to keep, reminding yourself like a mantra.
Marriage alliances have been custom through the centuries in Westeros. Your own flesh born of political maneuvering and courtly expectations. Why was it now as you stood before your responsibility, your chest tightened at the very thought? At the briefest mention?
You did not like this, but it was your burden to bear. You had no wish to feel this way.
You could only conjure a faint image of the moment your brother unwillingly delivered your fathers verdict on your future. It had been a beautiful day, the gardens' serene quality creating a profusely deceptive sense of security.
Mayhaps it was the way your head was sent spinning immediately after the words left Qoren’s mouth? The rush of anger which possessed you? The way it caused you to barge into the council room, any trace of warmth or softness you commonly afforded to your father absent. 
Nonetheless, it was all a blur of shouting, salty tears, pleas and comforts falling deaf to your ears. Whatever it was no longer clear to you.
Sighing, you begin to slip out of the dress you had travelled with, the hem of the sleeves stained from your letter writing. 
You briefly considered stripping down to your undergarments and sleeping as such. Though, upon further deliberation you thought it best to wear a simple nightgown in accordance with the cold draft of the castle. 
Slipping under the fur lined covers you couldn’t help the feeling that crept into the cavity of your chest. It burned within you, leaving a rancid taste in your mouth. This was it. Come this time tomorrow, you would not even belong to the house of your kin. 
Wrapping the covers more firmly around your quaking form, it’s indiscernible whether the chill or your fear was the source.
“Daemon” You dared to whisper, willing yourself to speak the Targaryen Prince’s miserable name into the empty bedchamber. You did not like how it sounded on your tongue.
Do you feel this dread as I do?
“Does my Prince find himself in need of comfort?” The whore spoke out, reaching to graze the silver-haired Prince’s hand which held his third- fourth cup of wine.
Dornish Red Daemon had complained. He always favored Arbor Gold.  
He had been in this place since the previous night, an angered promenade with a few of the guards he trained with on occasion. They laughed, feasted, fucked through the streets of King’s Landing without shame nor respect for the Prince’s wedding ceremony taking place on this very day. 
Daemon did not deem it worthy of his attention. Let the King’s guard or whatever the fuck else other soldier his grandsire and father will send drag him from this place. He would stay put in the meantime, enjoying his time sunken in his whore and cup much more than he would with the Dornish wench they’ve bound him to.
Daemon smirked as his gaze ran down to the woman’s breasts shamelessly, watching the way her nipples hardened under the flimsy gown she wore. The cold winds from the opened window biting at her form in a delectable way.
 When his eyes arrived back to her face his own violet eyes were met by her blue ones. Her unmistakable silver hair shining in the candlelight. This was what he was deserving of.
His previous visits to this particular establishment were met with loyalty by the owner. She spoke of a girl to his tastes. He was pleasantly surprised with the dragonseed waiting for him in the deeper parts of the building.
The sound of moans echoing from within the brothel, the lecherous men seeking reprieve from their lives by giving up their coin to service the women who milled about.
All the distractions which blared loudly in his ears could not distract his active mind as he drunkenly and loudly complained of his circumstances.
How could they expect him to sit idly by as they took his future into their hands. To marry him to a hot-blooded Dornishmen. The blood of the dragon does not dwell with sand people he had told his brother Viserys.
Slamming his now empty goblet to a random table, he allows the silver-haired woman to lead him to an empty couch amongst other patrons and working girls alike.
She pushes him to the couch and flicks her hair to the side. He leers at the beauty born of his house’s ardor. Her sharp features, tresses which reached her waist. Grabbing on to her with a firm hand, he pulled her down to his lap as a familiar need spread through his body. Deserving.
Daemon was not one to hold back his desires, and why should he? A dragon's blood is made of fire, and nothing burns hotter than a dragon's lust.
As she lightly grinded her hips against him, a familiar rising began
This is what he is deserving of. He had no need to see his intended, for he already knew what the Dornish were. Most certaining nothing he was interested in binding himself to.
“My Prince is most eager,” she breathily stated, her breath clipped as Daemon wasted no time fastening his mouth to hers, roughly coaxing his tongue into her mouth. “Your Prince needs a good fuck.” His tone husky, words slurring slightly. His lips breaking apart from hers, hands exploring her dress-clad form. A thin bit of fabric which he could make quick work of.
“Spend your night with me and it may be your best fuck yet, my prince…” Gods had he not been so displeased by his circumstances he would have taken to banter with this seductress. Would have let her worship him, and he would worship her in turn. However, the sound of the stitches on her flimsy gown ripping from his grip on her waist was a tell-tale sign this was no such night for that sort of intimacy. This was a night for animalistic intentions.
His hand greedily roamed the expanse of her soft skin, marks from previous patrons visible- he did not care. Her perfume almost nauseatingly strong. It did not matter.
The two were lip locked. Groans and heavy breaths as they practically merged into one another. The fervor of which Prince Daemon kissed at her skin, beautiful and unsightly.
If the Targaryen’s were believed to be closer to the gods then men, why was it that they crumbled all too similar to even those of the lowest birth who frequented these houses of ill-repute. For any who caught a glimpse of the young Prince and his company of the night, that very notion could be challenged as he desperately clutched on to any purchase of skin he could find, the need for anything pleasurable in this wretched day. Seeking solace in the arms of a beautiful woman with an underlying need to reclaim the power he deemed stolen from him.
Pulling back from the kiss, the woman latched her skillful lips to his pale skin. With a sharp inhale, Daemons went muscles taut at the way she nipped and licked at his skin. 
“That’s it..”
A short groan escaped him as his hand went to cradle the back of her head, taking a handful of her hair. As he pushed her closer to his skin he could have sworn this woman was a witch.
When she began to palm him through his breeches he was sure. At the tender touch, his cock chubbed up. In the daze his eyes slowly peered at the sight before him, but before he could admire the feast laid before him another irritating sight caught his attention.
Another girl, distinctly sun-kissed skin that was certainly not from the gloomy skies of the Crownlands during the winter, and dark locks of hair forming waves down her back as she vigorously worked her mouth on another patron.
Before he is able to grit his teeth in annoyance, the silver-haired woman's dexterous hands continue to gently touch him through the fabric of his breeches, he momentarily has to toss his head back to let go of a deep breath, his drunken state causing a small whine to escape.
After a hearing a small giggle, he focuses back on his own pleasure and groping of the much more interesting beauty-
His eyes quickly peered back over to the other whore.
Damned Dornish. Worming their way into all facets of his life now? The thought made him want to scoff.
Dishonourable Dornish. Known throughout Westeros for their cowardly fight tactics, uses of poison.
More crudely also known for their lust, their thirst.
Daemon could not help that his wine-addled mind brought him back to his fucking betrothed. He wondered if the rumors held true. Daemon had fucked wenches prettier than a fair few of the noblewomen in court. He had no issue avoiding the bedding entirely if she happened to be one of the more plain featured.
Though, his fathers fury would know no bounds were he to not consummate the union, the key piece to such an "important" alliance... were it up to Daemon to provide council (which it very much wasn't) they would come to the walls of Sunspear atop Vhagar and Caraxes to subdue this folly entirely.
Would the Princess descend to her knees like the woman in his view? Gaze up at him in pleading to fulfill her bottomless appetite. His cock, his fingers, his tongue. After all how could such an insatiable creature react well to her own husband refusing to fuck her.
Gods he hoped she wasn't ugly.
If she was lucky enough, perceptive enough to beg, the Prince would jeeringly stroke her hair and whisper his taunts before pulling her on to him.
Were you the sort of woman able to take a man to his base? Or would you ask him to slow his pace?
Continuing to watch the Dornish woman, he allowed a groan to slip past his lips at both the ministrations of his paid companion and the sight before him.
The whore deftly performed. Perhaps you would try to please him with such fervor. Leave eager licks at his sack of stones as you indulged in such carnal desires. Delightedly hum as you suckled at his tip.
“You distract yourself, mighty dragon” His companion interrupted while grabbing his face on either side. Had his body not already been ready to boil over, it certainly was now at her words. A mighty dragon he was.
Shaking his head, he centers his thoughts back on to the woman whose legs were dangled across his thighs. Unbearably hard, he ached to see her bare. And with that desire came the end of her cheap gown. He ripped the fabric down the middle, her chest now on full display for him to enjoy.
Unfortunately for his poor intoxicated attention span, the loud sound of squelching hit his ears and he could not resist the temptation to look back.
He watched as the man hungrily began to leverage his position over the other woman, choosing to forgo her teasing in favor of fucking her mouth.
Daemon wouldn't do that- not like that. His mind wandered off again. A place where a Dornish Princess sat between his legs determined to inch-by-inch feed his cock into her hole. No, he would let her tease. He would let her and then when he no longer wished to, she wouldn't need to try so hard anymore. For he would begin to snap his hips forward to make up for what she couldn’t. Breaking that infamous Dornish resistance by forcing her poor throat to adapt to the too-large intrusion. 
He would relish in wounding the Martell pride after all, justifiable revenge for his own. The only thing he may be granted in this ridiculous union.
He would be gentle and rough all the same, mocking through it all.
The whore clearly knew what she was doing, patiently and prettily sitting there while suctioning her cheeks, bobbing along with the rhythm. He would have let her work a little longer before devolving so fast as the man had. To each their own.
He didn’t know if it was the view or the feeling of his pants being unlaced which had him beginning to sweat.
Would his bride sit as pleasantly he wondered or would fat tears slip down her cheeks at the bombardment? Too overwhelming for the likes of a noblewoman. Or perhaps she would prove to be the opposite and enjoy such treatment, utterly unbefitting to her station.
Would her own cunt glisten as the whore's does in pleasure, calling to him as if it was of the utmost fascination? Would her spittle drip down from her face to her thighs? Would they be rubbing together in need as he buried himself deeper. Her body ready to entrap him should he lose his wits to a viper of all things. A little thing trying to fool a dragon.
In a matter of seconds, the man's tempo slowed significantly as his legs began to weakly quake. Taking this opportunity, she sped up, and as if sensing this she pulled off. Jerking his manhood over her face while looking at him with a sultry stare, he turned away bashfully, his peak quick.
Daemon would have pulled the Princess the whore close, nuzzling her nose to the very base of him where his silver hairs grow. Shaft as far as it could be. He would watch as her eyes grew hazy from the closeness, from the seed which slithered down her throat.
If you are pretty enough, he would find no shame in returning the favour. A lusty Princess, certainly a rarity left unseen by him (lest he recounts the stories of his denounced aunt Saera Targaryen).
If the rumors of the Dornish are anything to go by, a pretty girl with loose legs was the best he could expect out of these circumstances. At worst, another person which he would dutifully ignore and loath as best he could.
Without taking notice, the woman on his lap gestured the Dornish whore over, slipping her hands away from Daemon’s.
Before the husband-to-be could object to the separation, the two women dragged him bare and ready to a more private chamber in the back grabbing a pitcher of wine on the way.
Dornish Red.
You had been quick to rouse from your rest, your body protesting the sounds of the morn outside of your door. A clear indication it was time for you to rise. You struggled, it was not as if sleep came easily to you the night before, nor effectively when it befell you for that matter.
But as the sharp knock of your maid came to the locked wooden door of your chambers there was no escape. Your paranoia comes back to bite you as you were forced to trudge over, utterly unready to face the homely, friendly woman you had taken with you from Dorne.
After opening the door and curt pleasantries are exchanged, your hair is made to a neat style and you are helped into a fine dress suiting the chilly weather.
Had you been at home you would have opted for expensive lace and airy fabrics. You’d be bejewelled and by the prudish standards of King’s Landing, “scantily” dressed. Though, you’d bid the Lord’s and Lady’s of this court to attempt a summer in Sunspear wearing their usual constricting and heavy fabrics.
Running your hands over the tightly corseted waist, the maid speaks up while collecting loose items marring the tidy space.
“The discomfort is a small price to pay. Should you be beholden to Prince Daemon this morning, he will think you stunning in such a piece.” 
Raising a brow to her comment on the Prince’s… likes, you speak semi-irate. “Does the Prince enjoy his women light-headed and immobile then?” 
You knew little of Daemon beyond the rumors which circulated about him, let alone enough to presume his tastes.
A second-born child just as you were, he was a knight described as tall and hardened where his brother Viserys was more plump. 
You oft fantasized of what it would be to truly be with a fighter. Now faced with the possibility of being bound to a glory-hungry Targaryen, you could not find in yourself the same excitement you felt when studying the soldiers of Dorne. In fact, it would not be a stretch to say there was faint distress.
You studied the woman's reflection in the mirror and she looked at you once and then twice over. 
“Ah!” The maid scampers over to where your jewelry is laid and brings a gold albeit simple necklace. Strapping it around your neck she claps her hands together softly.
Deeming her work satisfactory, she meets your eye once more with a commiserating stare.
“If that will be all Princess?”
“That will be all.” 
She bowed and left without another word. Your unpleasant behavior was something anyone employed by your father to serve you in King’s Landing had begun to become accustomed to. Their good Princess grows bitter in the absence of the sun. 
With a sigh, you turn when you hear a knock at the door. It is then you see your ever stoic knight Ser Edmyn.
With tan skin and hair that was but a wisp, he was an experienced fellow. Even with old age the knight was able to keep up with any man half his years. An imposing size and frightening demeanor alone enough to ward any undesirables away. One of the best in Dorne deemed the best protection for his Princess.
“Good morning Ser Edmyn.” You smiled small while approaching him at the door, (un)ready to leave the safety and solitude of your bedchambers.
“Good morning, Princess.” He smiled small back. A pleasantry which was reserved for you.
As the both of you fall into step you continue to speak while observing the bustle of the corridors, decorations coming to and from even in this wing of the castle. “It is busy today. I suppose all this chaos is to be expected...”
“There is to be a royal wedding after all. Though I deduce you would not like to be reminded.”
With a chuckle you shake your head “No, ser, I do not. However, I would like to pick your brain for what you know of my brother's arrival. I would like to be there as soon as his boat is, I am most excited to see him again.”
“It is to my knowledge that your brother will not arrive until noon.”
With an aimless hum you keep your eyes trained ahead, lest you embarrass yourself with the anxious expression on your face. A few more unbearable hours until they are made just a slight bit better. Mayhaps Qoren will be able to bring a spot of light to this dreary city.
After a few minutes of allowing Ser Edmyn to lead you, you recognize the faint smell of food. Gods it has been a time since you last ate. On cue, you begin to salivate over the thought of a freshly cooked meal.
An unfamiliar voice interferes with your fantasies, coming to a stop in front of you with a polite smile. “Princess,” The servant bowed respectfully, clearly in a hurry. “her royal highness Princess Aemma requests you join her to break fast.”
Looking at Edmyn with annoyance displayed, he only responds with an inappreciable shrug. Mayhaps the woman would further rub your nose in all of this bother. This family has ruined your happiness, they may as well ruin your meal.
Offering the servant a reluctant nod, he stiffly leads you and your protector to a dining room. 
Bowing, the servant leaves after delivering you in front of your destination and Ser Edmyn takes his place on the wall outside of the opened door. Pushing all the thoughts from your head you assume a neutral expression as you walked into the room.
Without so much as looking at Aemma’s face, you nod your head with respect due to someone of her status. “Princess Aemma.”
It was when you heard a soft babble, your mind went soft. You tilt your head back up to see Aemma giving you a bright smile and you spot a girl no more than three in her arms. 
“Or… Princess’s, apologies.” 
“Princess,” your name slipping from her lips as she wrangled her wriggling daughter. “No need for such apologies. I hope I did not interrupt your busy morning!” She spoke with jollity, as if this was a day which deserved such joys.
“Not at all. I’ve yet to eat anything. Nothing to tend to until my brother Qoren’s arrival.” You mustered a friendly looking smile, trying (and failing) to reciprocate the amiable spirit of the Arryn. 
“Come. sit, sit!” grabbing hold of her daughter's wrist, she gently waved it in your direction, “Say hello Rhaenyra.” she told her daughter, the two letting out a little giggle at the contact. 
“Helloooo” The girl playfully obliged.
As you sat down, you could not fail to take note of the way her silver hair and violet eyes stood out amongst all of it. A true little Targaryen.
You presumed they all started this lovely. One could almost forget they grew to be wicked dragonlords.
Unknowing of your distasteful thoughts, Aemma continued putting the young Princess in her chair as the help served her up a plate.
“I figured it would be pleasant for the both of us to meet in a more intimate setting. You left so briskly the past night, I could not introduce myself. I do hope you were able to remedy the travel sickness you mentioned?” She turned her head upwards to you.
“Yes… pleasant.” You continued, “sleep always proves to be the best cure to my ill-state.” 
Bang! 
You jumped at the sound. How pleasant to dine to the sounds of the young Princess whacking silverware to the wood.
“Feed mummy! Food!” she whined.
Without casting a glance to Rhaenyra, Aemma places a light hand to her little fists to placate the girl. “Patience Rhaenyra… Apologies, my girl is quite insistent.” As the beginnings of cries begin to persist, Aemma turns to Rhaenyra with a soft smile.
Motherly.
“What do we say Rhaenyra?”
“No Mummy! Feed!”
Aemma giggles a bit before continuing. “Kostilus. Say it my girl, say what your father taught you. Kos-til-us.”
With a final resistant pout, red-faced and desperate to be fed, the girl parrots her mother. “Kostiles!” Rather she tries to.
At her daughter yielding and speaking this mystery word, Aemma begins to spoon feed her, attention returning back to you.
“It means please in High Valyrian. Viserys, Prince Baelon… Daemon, they are all fluent. ‘Tis quite important that a Targaryen is fluent in the mother tongue.”
You hum in agreement as you take a sip of your drink. The ancestral tongue of cruel war instigators. Fitting.
“I must say how wonderful it is that Prince Qoren will come! I’m sure you are very happy to see him on such a special occasion.”
You thank the server who set out a plate with something of palatable substance compared to the meals you were served on the sea. 
Taking a few bites of the food, you will yourself slow down, responding after you’ve swallowed. “Yes, such a… special day.” You gulped and barely held back your grimace.
In need of a different topic, you continue. “But to say I am very happy would be phrasing it far too mildly. I am quite fond of my brother. We are inseparable and it has been strange to be without him for so long.”
“It must be hard to be away from him, especially… in a place so different.” You see a flicker of sympathy in her gaze as she turns to gently wipe at Rhaenyra’s mouth with a cloth.
You watch as she mothers her daughter with the same soft gaze. You did not need someone years your younger looking at you as if you were a lost lamb, it only caused your annoyance to be inflamed.
“Yes, well, as is my duty.” You responded in a way which sounded more clipped than you intended.
In spite of sensing your blunt tone, Aemma continues cooly. “I myself am not close to my half-siblings. They are all quite a bit older than me. I was never lucky enough to have a relationship like the one you describe.” She smiled wistfully. “I do hope in the near future Rhaenyra will be able to have such a bond.”
You couldn’t help the way your eyes flickered down to your empty finger. The tan line a reminder of your gold signet ring. Yet another thing you reluctantly miss.
Your annoyance softens at Aemma’s kind words and the reminder of your “lucky bond” with your brother as you decide to initiate a question. “Did you like Vale? I have never visited.” You asked, unsure of how to proceed.
“Oh yes! It would snow in the winter, sometimes so hard one could mistake for Winterfell! And in the spring the prettiest flowers would bloom! Little blue ones all around. It all becomes a little blurry as time passes on-”
You felt your heart skip once as she carried on. Would it be you one day dining with someone, talking of Dorne as a memory?
“But of course I've been in King’s Landing since I was a girl of eleven. I’ve built a fondness for this home as well.”
That caused you to pause. 
What a horrible thing to be ripped from your home at such a young age. 
Taking another bite of your food, you watch as she continues to prattle on about how “pleasant” King’s Landing could be if you looked closely. Gulping down your food, it is your turn to look at her with sympathy.
As you both goalessely chat with occasional interruptions from Rhaenyra, the topic of your intended is breached even with your skillful avoidance.
“He is not as bad as people say, you know. Just… passionate. He is kind to Rhaenyra and I. He loves his brother very much. Perhaps he could make…” Aemma’s voice wanes off as she thinks on her next words. 
A part of her wanted to reassure you by saying “a fine match.”  However, she did not wish to sour this new amity by feeding you lies. You were going to be her sister and you did not seem like the type to take kindly to blatantly dishonest consolation. It was not right.
Not when she had heard the cruel way Daemon had spoken about you to Viserys only nights ago. 
“A tolerable match.”
You were a nice girl… angry perhaps. She found herself hoping vainly Daemon would not ruin you. 
“How reassuring Princess.” you chuckled, allowing yourself to go lax a bit.
And how this delighted Aemma. “Having said that, I do not think you will have to… concern yourself with him before the ceremony.” she grinned quietly.
“That disappoints me so.”
Amidst the comfortable silence which ensued, you’re interrupted by Ser Edmyn.
“Princess, I’m sorry for the intrusion. Your brother's ship approaches the Bay. I thought it important to inform you, we will need to leave soon if you wish to welcome him.”
Aemma could see your harsh air lighten evidently. The announcement of your true brother's arrival bewitching you with a smile of what looked to be perfect glee.
You shot up from your seat immediately, pivoting towards the Princesses. “I do hope you forgive my abrupt departure, but I-”
“Go! It is fine. I look forward to meeting Prince Qoren!” She simpered.
Without another word, you were in the buzzing hallways of the Red keep. “Make haste Ser Edmyn!” You laughed as you picked up your skirts, bursting with joy that even the constraints of this damned corset could not stop you.
Had this been a few hours ago, spotting the orange Martell banners carried alongside Targaryen, flowers, and chairs you might have been sent into a dizzy spell. You just might the moment you arrive back at the castle. Not now though. For now, your brother was here!
After a brief carriage ride you are offered a hand by your knight as he gently leads you down. Uncaring of the light rain which splattered over your new dress, you stumbled upon the stones which littered the shore as you raced to catch a glimpse of the vessel.
Your heart threatened to burst and for the first time since you arrived, you graced King’s Landing with the brightest of smiles. A smile meant for the ship which flew the familiar sun, spear striking it through.
You had been angry and bitter, but that did not change the simple fact that you longed to be in the presence of your brother. Desperately. You wished to put all of this nasty business behind you and embrace him as family again.
As the ship grew closer, you began to register the faces of the crew. How vain he was. Hiding from a bit of rain, no doubt to avoid soiling his clothes. 
Today would be a miserable loss, but perhaps a bearable one now.
The ship docked and you were growing restless. As two familiar Lord’s, advisors to your father, disembarked you wasted no time in approaching them. 
You looked a mess. Tightly bound hair damp, your dress dragging in the wet sand but it simply was no matter to you.
As the advisors took you in, you assumed it was your disarrayed appearance which caused the apprehensive air.
“My Lords, I do hope the journey was all well!” You chirped.
They bowed in greeting, the uneasy look they exchanged going unnoticed. “Quite well, my Princess.”
“I do hope my brother is not fussing over the rain in there. ‘Tis somber all the time here, he must grow used to it. As will both of you I'm sure.”
“I am…” Taking a breath in, one of the men paused observing your blissfully ignorant expression. “Prince Qoren sends his sincerest regrets, but he will be absent-”
Your smile dropped as quick as it had appeared. He continued speaking and you stopped listening. Absent.
Absent.
He spoke of duty, he spoke of loyalty. And where was he on this most “auspicious” day. Was each and every reassurance a callous means of pacifying your temper? The fucking traitor. The whole lot of them. Your brother, your father, his council, your home for gods sake! By their will, cast into the fire while they reap the spoils of peace.
What of your peace? Was he so cruel as to not see you off in gratitude for your sacrifice? He was no “exalted” viper, he was a snake.
“... Princess?” One of the advisors questioned, most like realizing your inattention to his excuses on Qoren’s behalf.
Your vacant stare focuses back to the man as you furiously willed your tears to stay put. He sighs and looks at you with pity, aware of your blaring disappointment.
Pulling something from under his cloak, the Lord outstretched his hand with a brown piece of parchment, little water droplets staining the paper as the rain began to intensify. “He tasked us with delivering this to you… it seemed-”
“That is all.”
“Princess…”
Snatching the letter up, you fixed them with a hard glare, a weak manifestation of the anger which seethed within you. A letter. His consolation was even pathetic.
As the two men hurried off, you opened the letter, uncaring of the way the rain lashes at your frame now, the overcast beach full of people hurrying off of the boat.
Dear Sister,
I take no joy in writing this note, for it is with remorse that I must tell you I am unable to attend your wedding ceremony, nor visit you in King’s Landing hereafter. I know you will be angry and I am sorry. I am so very sorry and I beg of you to not lose heart, to not be frightened. I  beseech you to accept my lamentable apologies and understand this is not how I wished this day to go.
-Qoren
You cared not for the rest, only the reaffirmation of your brother's non-attendance. As the rain slid down, your tears mingled with the droplets. Crumpling the letter, you allowed it to drop down in the sand, watching it slowly turn soft from harsh rainfall.
Abandoned by your own family, the gods and men would bear witness to your entrapment. 
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zoropookie · 4 months ago
Text
SWEET MELODY
☆ chapter twenty — get the fuck out (🎂)
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The wind was carrying a chill on his skin like it lived on his being, a cold damp fog.
The sun was sinking beneath the homes, and the evening seemed to hold his break with him. He, Ei, and Yae were standing there in front of the familiar door they've all frequented. One leading the way, calm and resolute, the other begrudgingly trailing behind her while his mind gloomed. The third? Amused, eyes glimmering with merriment at the mother-son relationship.
"I reckon you tell them that you'll leave them alone," Yae suggested. "All of it is quite petty, I'm sure they'll understand why we're here to have you two make amends anyway."
"I have no doubt that's what you think, especially since you both love to be resolute bitches about it—"
"Oh? No, continue, I'd love for you to finish that thought." Ei replied, standing tall and unmoving, face of quiet authority. After a brief interlude of his quietude, she ground her teeth. "Do not cross me, you are already in hot water."
Ei's gaze burned into him in front of that door, she knocked, the sound echoing with enough command. Kuni's throat tightened in disgust, mind racing for an immediate escape, any way out of this predicament, but Ei was always one to play her cards well. He was trapped here whether he liked it or not.
The door opened slowly upon looking through the peep hole, revealing you, who looked at all three of them with weariness. "Hello..." You said awkwardly, but there wasn't much of a smile on your face than usual. Kuni's heart skipped a beat, and there was a heavier feeling to the air that he couldn't shake from you. It was easy talking shit to them on the phone, but when he knew something was wrong here, it was strange.
"We won't take up much of your time, I apologize if we burdened you right now!" Yae chirped. "I'm so glad to see you yet again. You get cuter and cuter each time I see you, (Y/N). Like a little button."
You didn't know how to respond to that, frankly, except with a half-hearted smile. Your eyes moved back to the other two, your heart dropping at the situation. Ei's grip on Kuni's hair was sudden and firm, her thin fingers weaving through his mauve filaments with a controlled ease. She forced his head down, tugging him into a bow.
"No more. No more fighting, no more altercations. Apologize, Kunikuzushi," She said, her tone ironclad. "For all of it."
He bit the inside of his cheek, losing the hope he had for this going how he wanted it. He refused to let his own pride be threatened as it roared in seething rebellion. Up his neck creeped humiliation, but his mother's grip tightened. She refused to let go. His head still bowed, he forced the words out, all of the syllables dripping from his lips were involuntary.
"You've been through a lot because of me. I shouldn't have done what I have, and maybe I should have also realized that when I was doing it. I'm still learning how to regulate, it doesn't come to me naturally." Kuni said, hollow, half-hearted. He couldn't help it. Every tendril of his being wanted to rip away from how pathetic this display looked.
He felt their gazes on him, like a lion in a circus, studying his every move and reaction, waiting for him to crack under his own ego. "Oh, you think that's enough?" Yae said, tilting her head. "You're still acting as if this is a game, but there's no place for them anymore. How unfortunate."
"...We will move on from this. Please consider forgiving me in the future, when your heart allows it." Kuni hissed through clenched teeth, fist trembling at his sides. Fury boiled under his skin, but he kept his eyes locked on the ground like he was commanded, avoiding eye contact, wincing at his mother's nails digging into him. "Let me go. You're fucking hurting me."
"Words. All words, but I haven't heard an actual apology yet." Ei replied calmly.
You didn't know how to react still, all of this rushed in your face like it was a surge of energy. You seemed calm and measured, but looking at how your ex-boyfriend was being handled by his mother yet again, watching him struggle with the prospect of even apologizing to you, knowing that you hardly deserved one yourself...it was hard. Too much to deal with right now.
Your heart tightened, eyebrows furrowing as you avoided eye contact with Kuni as well. "...This seems like a waste of time. Get home safely." You said, the emotional storm raging moments before in your mind was rid of promptly, more stoic and irritable with your speech. You turned around, shutting the door quickly behind you, cutting through that moment with air taut like a wire.
To what you thought was normal, infuriated him. Kuni's teeth grinded together, his eyes darkening in annoyance. The way you said that so casually, like you just washed your hands for ten seconds of the entire ordeal and left it. Like you were already miles away from him, digging under his skin tauntingly. You got the last word in, watching him be humiliated under the guise that you deserved that forgiveness.
He couldn't stand it. Being dragged here, forced to grovel, after he had swallowed his own dignity while it tasted raw and bitter in his throat. Spitting out an apology to you...one you hardly had any business responding to. You dismissed him, as if none of what he did matter. As if he didn't matter. It was gnawing at his core, left sweltering in his mess.
His movements were stiff and jerky as he followed the two women to the car, silently fuming. You were not going to take control of what he thought he was warranted.
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It was surreal to think that the remains of your brother were in your hands rather than his own arms encompassing you. In those warm, now unfamiliar feeling hugs he gave you.
The day had been spent finalizing the plans for Kazuha's funeral. The weight of your heartache overwhelmed you a lot, especially when Kuni and his family stopped by. The bakery had closed for the day, and your employees, more like family than staff, had insisted on joining you as moral support. You didn't feel comfortable with their continuous acts of kindness towards you, but you accepted anyway. Who were you to deny any more help, anyway?
It was a private funeral, bringing you strange comfort barely anyone except other family members and distant friends knew about it. Their faces softening the edges of your overall sorrow.
You sat in front of the altar with tired eyes, rubbing them to rid of your tears and to ebb the exhaustion. Your hands shook as they rested on the smooth, cold surface of the urn that held his ashes. It wasn't real to you, the only one after your mother's death who was always able to help you live in quiet grace, had been reduced to this. You lived yet again in your sorrow, except extra this time.
With no energy left to think about anything else, the details crafted with care in Kazuha's funeral spoke wonders. The cherry blossoms arranged, incense burning softly, candles delicately flaring. There was nothing left to distract you from the possibility that he was gone.
The filling air of sandalwood neighboring the air while the incense curled smoke into the room. White lilies around a large photograph of Kazuha that you had to retrieve from your mothers room. No longer dusty, but the sanctity of the promise that you kept to Kazuha disappearing as well. You didn't even want to look at it, feeling the sense of betrayal rotten your heart with guilt. He was in the peak of his youth, eyes bright with the amicable, ethereal tranquility of his beaming face. A smile so gentle and sincere, haunting you forever. You never saw the photo before this, and now that you have, it'll follow you like a ghost.
Your flood gates cracked and spurted out, until your tears began to pour out uncontrollably again. Sobs raw and aching as your entire body wracked, echoing through the mildly quiet room. Your body was heavy to you, every bone in your body converting to stone, with a misery so sagacious that you weren't sure if you were stuck there for the next few minutes or hours.
Weeping like a baby, allowing your tears to drip onto your clothes, the memories you could never share with him again, for the future planned that would never come to pass. He died in the past, the reassurance he left you with when you were just breaking up with your ex-boyfriend and you were shattered once again. But not like this, not like how you wept for the moments you had taken for granted with your family. For the times you assumed you would have more time.
Xingqiu, Chongyun, Bennett, Beidou, and Gaming stayed there beside you, presence warm but quiet as they ruminated in the sorrow themself. One by one, they knelt beside you and bowed their heads in respect to the memory of Kazuha, a quiet prayer escaping their lips every now and then that you could hear.
"It's okay," Beidou softly whispered, rubbing your back. "It's okay to take your time. There's nothing wrong with taking a break, kid. Feel out your emotions."
"To you." You choked out, tone exerting a little snappy.
As Beidou's eyebrows raised, your gaze sharpened as you stared at the photo again. This time, a glint of hopelessness and null in your expression.
"I genuinely hope that none of you ever have to feel what it's like to come home, and be crushed by your own dejection. To feel like there's a giant anchor pressing down on your chest, every single second. Pummeling you from the inside out, stripping you down until you're weaker and weaker." Your voice trembled, leaving the rest of them quiet again. "I don't have the luxury to feel out my emotions, or I crumble again. I'm so tired of crumbling."
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The following days, the bakery remained open after the funeral. You didn't give yourself time to exactly take a long break. It should have been expected of you, or forced, but the rest of the employees figured it would a better idea to let you do what you need to do to cope with it.
The bakery was dimly lit, with the television in the corner of the room playing Balladeer and the Cult's new music video for the fourth time today. The entire staff were quiet other than the frequent chatter, and the soft clinking of dishes as the workers cleaned up for the night. It was the kind of silence that would tell tales of wonders involving your situation. You were in the back, wrapping everything up and making sure you wrote what needed to be stocked for the morning.
"I like when they do that fun lyrical thing that starts with 'I had my pants on my head like a hat', and ends with...'the police department's refusal to comply in a timely manner with open records request is a middle finger to the marginalized'. You know what I'm saying?" Gaming rambled.
"No clue." Xingqiu said dully.
"They have to make the feds give up early on the song, so they turn it off before they get to the part that calls it out." Chongyun grinned.
"It's like when you steal sandwich bags from the burger shop across the street, and you think the sandwich bags have shit in it, right? No. The entire layout to a compartment of different type of bombs located in Natlan."
"Why are you stealing sandwich bags from them? I'm telling." Xingqiu's eyes narrowed. "Snitching to the court."
"You do that, and I'm not letting you use my Dreamcast anymore. I'm tired of you ratting me out." Gaming scrunched his face up before walking to the back to clean the kitchen with Beidou.
The atmosphere was considerably lax, but there was always a shade of apprehension all of them shared with your newfound attitude. You forced yourself to focus on closing, the others trying to keep a bright side about them. You could only target yourself to think about Kazuha, the pain of absence. Knowing that when you go home, he'll be there, but not as a physical body.
The sound of the front slamming open jarred everybody who heard it, the small bell above the door rattling aggressively against its frame. Chongyun stiffened at the abrupt sound, it being cut short as they all turned toward the person who walked in. The boy's jaw dropped, blinking twice to make sure if who he's seeing wasn't the guy who was just on TV.
"Uh—" He wanted to keep his wits about him and start spilling fan-made excitement, but he was too floored to even do that. "We're...about to close, sir!"
"Not here for bread, or whatever the fuck you guys have. Fetch (Y/N)."
Xingqiu's eyebrows furrowed. "They're...not here right now. If you want to talk to them, come back tomorrow, we'll be open for a while."
"Oh, are they not? Crazy, considering I see their car behind the lot. I checked, don't think I'm one of your little customers." Kuni cut him off, voice dripping with venom as he sized the workers up. "I'm not in the mood. Either go get them now, or I'll run through all of you."
Chongyun hesitated, awkwardly turning his body towards Xingqiu who shrugged in response. He headed towards the back to relay the information, while you were still working. When he reached you, his voice went quiet while he told you what was going on, almost apologetic. Your blood ran cold.
There was an anger that swelled in your chest, hands squeezing into fists. Without a word, you stormed out quickly, expression set with burning fury. The sight of him again, this time in casual clothing and a neutral demeanor, your vision blurred with rage and small guilt. "Why are you here?!" Your voice shook with rage, your voice could barely raise at him. "Haven't you done enough?"
"Have I done enough? Understand this, you bitch," He immediately started coming closer to you. "You're not off the hook for what you did. You may be used to people forgiving you instantly after batting your eyelashes and giggling like fucking Minnie Mouse, but I'm not the one.
"Okay? Then, what do you want from me?!" You grit your teeth. "You say all this, and then have a hard time not being vague. What is it?! Tell me!"
"Coddled your entire life, skipping out on your responsibilities because things got a little hard," He took a step closer, which lead for you to open the distance again. Except this time, his hand swiped the entire row of glasses that were on display down on the wooden floor with a loud crash. Your eyes widened. "Now you get to stay here, complacent in my misery, just because you think you deserve it? I'll take all this shit away from you."
His anger marinated long enough, it bubbled to the surface like a volcano ready to erupt. His chest was tight looking at you, suffocating in his grip of emotions he buried deep for too long. Enough was enough, he felt sick with the flour and sugar clinging to every surrounding. Everything was quiet to him here, too perfect. And for him, wrong.
A sneer warped his lips, and there were more crashes. The noise cut through the bakery, the workers flinching, but you couldn't even move. Beidou immediately ran to the front, her face twisted into rage. "Get the fuck out, now! You have no business being in here."
She was about to rush over to kick him out, but you shook your head, subduing her form from going closer. "You're not mad because of me, get your facts straight before you start talking to me like that."
His chest heaved at that, and he could only laugh. The sound of his ragged breaths became aggressive, grabbing at dishes and sending them all careening across the floor with a brutal snap of his wrist. "All of this shit," Another one, the sound harsh against the floor. "ALL OF IT, I want all the good things to fucking rot for the part you played in ruining the good things we had."
Your heart pounded in your ears in moderate fear, louder than the crashes and the gasps coming from the rest of your workers. You felt yourself become suffocated, like there was thick smoke restricting you. Everything felt too tight, your skin and the walls of the bakery itself. He kept shattering your things, breaking every single item that came across his path. There were crimson cuts on his hand, the bleeding on his hands and the glass embedded on his skin making you flinch. He welcomed it.
"Deluding yourself with all of this! You're fucking delusional!" He screamed in your face, "Why can't you wake up and take fucking charge of your own destiny, rather than following a dream you made up because you don't want to be reminded that HE'S FUCKING DEAD. WHERE ARE YOU?"
You could only laugh at him, feeling your cheeks burn from how flustered you were. "Get out." Your voice was dangerously low, trembling as you barely controlled your fury. Those words poisoned you, and tears immediately started rolling down your face, lip quivering.
Kuni just stood there, taking in your words as his breath labored, chest heaving up and down, eyes scanning you in disbelief. But you couldn't stand to see him anymore, because you knew what he was saying about you was true. You grabbed your own glass from the counter and hurled it at him, "Get out," smash, "GET out," smash, "GET THE FUCK OUT."
You grabbed another, and another, before entirely ridding of the glass pieces and started throwing chairs at him for him to swiftly dodge. Your hands were shaking uncontrollably, feeling humiliated that you were losing your mind in front of your employees, but you could not do this anymore. "You didn't want to see me anymore, right?! You've got it. Get out! I don't EVER want to see you again."
"So he is dead?" He taunted, voice lower as he started laughing too, his throat hardly making out the sound while it only came out choked as well, too stunned to care. "How's that fantasy working out for you now? At least persistence is a great substitute for actual talent."
Your knuckled connected with his jaw as soon as he leaned in closer, and you fucked him up hard. Sound coming off as a dull thud, followed by a grunt coming from Kuni's throat. You got him in between his lips and the center of his nostrils, causing the crimson blood to sputter immediately once he stepped back. He held onto his nose, instinctively going for his face while his liquid red stained exterior dripped.
The bruise was already beginning to form where your punch had landed. He hadn't expected you to fight back, but something flickered in his eyes. Something that wasn't rage this time, but delightfulness? You stood there, panting, your own hand now pained from how hard the clash was. "Leave," Your voice cracked. "Leave...before I do something worse."
It was obviously a serious reaction, he realized it by the time you were screaming at him. So as the adrenaline dissipated, the power of everything hit him all at once, and he narrowed in on your tear-filled gaze with incredulous relief.
"Welcome back." His pride fought him again to say anything else, so he wiped the blood on his lip, and turned on his heel to leave.
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THERE ARE not many things that can sway your interest ever since the "incident", but in spite of that, you pushed forward. you are now the owner of the biggest bakery chain in your city, consistently seeing couples and catering to them as such. you've been a big host at weddings, events for celebrities, and even a big support for your friends and family. you've even earned yourself a niche following as well by how sweet you are to everybody around you. but, even with your kindness, you don't have a particular spark that keeps you going anymore these days. that is until one of your employees starts suggesting you write love letters to customers who request your services. at first you thought it was a horrible idea that could easily turn into trouble, but that was until you were tasked with writing one to your own (very very famous) ex-boyfriend.
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@eunseok-s @state-of-grac3 @ariesloves @trulyylee @lyzeivr
@suniika @animeobsessed56 @kamisstufff @samyayaya @scarawiki
@mywillt0live @lxkeeeee @sundays-prince @imnotyizhuo
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faithlia · 3 months ago
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'But what the fuck is patience?
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english is not my first language!
warnings: smut, mean!reader, sarcatisc!reader, tough!matt mean!matt, haters, display, rough sex, degradation, denial of orgasm...
⚠️ The behavior of all characters are immoral and depraved, if you don't feel comfortable, please, don't read!
summary: You and Matt have a no-strings-attached sexual relationship, but when things don't go the way you plan, your provocations go beyond your limits.
part 1. part 2
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Ever since you and Matt started this "little game" of casual sex, your performance and grades in college had strangely improved. I mean, you were always the best in the class, but it was a fact that the way Matt fucked you kept you motivated enough, as if his dick was full of dopamine and energy drinks.
Of course, you would never admit that to him. Matt was certainly not the only guy on campus you had fucked during the last semester, but out of all of them, he was the best! Always leaving your pussy sore at the end of each fuck, with that unshaven beard; and that damn smile he gave you after eating you out.
But, despite his incredibly tasty dick, Matt was petulant and petty, and you hated him for it. You hated how much of a jerk and insufferable he was, so your sex was limited to when you both came and each went your separate ways.
In the morning, you went to the empty bleachers of the college with your friends from class to rehearse your seminar presentation. From afar, you could see Matt practicing football with the other players on the team - it was depressing to watch, because he was so bad, you thought.
"Damn, he's getting hotter every day" your best friend, Liz, says. She hands you a notebook full of notes. "Who?" you ask disinterestedly. "Matt Sturniolo."
"The beard makes him look so sexy" your other friend, Tara, comments. And all the others giggle, agreeing with your observation.
Unfortunately for you, it was all true, but you couldn't help but roll your eyes and shake your head slightly in denial.
"Okay, bitches. Let's get back to work, shall we?" You say motivatedly, and all the others groan quietly about having to actually do this stupid seminar.
Minutes later, when no one was paying attention to Matt anymore, you glanced at him unnoticed and could see him tripping over his own feet when he tried to kick the ball. You laughed out loud and everyone looked at you in confusion.
── .✦
It was already night when you were studying for your exams. Luckily for you, your roommate always slept in her idiot boyfriend's dorm, so you had the absolute peace of mind of having the room all to yourself.
Your phone received a message notification.
piece of shit: where are you now?
you: ?
you: in my dorm, idiot.
you: I don't feel like having sex today. Wait until tomorrow so I can fuck your beautiful ass.
You send the message with a smile on your face, knowing very well how much he hates your provocations. You anxiously wait for his harsh response, but before that you hear a knock on the door.
You go to the door and when you open it, Matt appears with an ironic smile on his lips. He was wearing an old sweatshirt and had damp hair.
Tara was right, he looked delicious with a beard.
Before you can say anything, he enters your room, closing the door behind him. "Damn, didn't you read my message?" you ask sarcastically. "Yeah, but I was already at the door. So it would be rude not to knock and not bother you, wouldn't it?" he replies.
He sits comfortably on your bed - as usual - giving you a smug smile. His blue eyes and wet lips gave you the worst of chills. Unfortunately, that pissed off face he made was irresistible.
"I saw you playing today!" you comment, trying to dispel your noisy thoughts.
Matt pokes his cheek with his tongue, raising his eyebrows in surprise "Really?" he asks disinterestedly.
"Really. Yeah!" you affirm. "You suck!" you let out a low laugh, observing his bored face. "I mean, you should stop because you suck so much! You know, sometimes it's good to recognize our flaws, in this case, your flaws...
"Why don't you go fuck yourself?" Matt interrupts you and you bite your lip.
Honestly, Matt found you insufferable, but you were so hot and beautiful that even though you always talked so much shit, he could still ignore all the nonsense you said just so he could fuck you. "You know, you're just as hot as you are annoying. Your parents must pay a lot of people to pretend to like you. Haven't you ever wondered about that?"
Matt smirks and you smile back, wanting to punch him in the face.
"What are you doing?" He looks away at the pile of books on his desk. "Trying to find a cure for your acute stupidity. What do you think I'm doing, huh?" you reply with acid on the tip of your tongue.
Matt rolls his eyes. He always responds to your provocations in kind and you kind of like it. It was a secret; every time you made Matt angry it only made you want to spread your legs for him more.
"Listen." he sighs, as he pulls you by the waist to stand between his legs. "Why don't you shut the fuck up for a second so I can pretend you're not a stupid brat, huh?" Matt caresses your hips over your sweatpants. His head was facing your belly and he couldn't resist the urge to plant chaste kisses on your skin.
Even though it was almost impossible, you didn't give in to the wet kisses. Delicately, you put your two long fingernails on his chin and say: "What? None of your other dumb bitches were available to satisfy you?"
"Believe me, you're not the smartest of them." He laughs softly. Before you can retaliate to the bold comment, Matt pulls your body under him on the bed, rubbing his hard cock against your covered crotch. You scream in surprise. He kisses you with his hand on your neck, running his tongue against yours, having the protruding premise of his lower lip against your upper lip and making you fall apart during the kiss.
Matt knows exactly what to do with you. He leans in more and more so that his cock is pressed against your pussy, doing his best to keep you trapped between him and the soft mattress.
One of his hands lifts your shirt and he can't resist sucking on a nipple - which has a delicate piercing with little stars. He sucks, circling his warm tongue around the piercing, biting gently. "Mmm," you moan loudly, frowning and biting your lip in anguish. Matt knows how sensitive you are because of your new piercings.
He smiles, ignoring your pained reaction. You slap his arm. He sucks on your other nipple, eagerly trying to swallow your entire breast; your breasts weren't that big but the size was perfect to spill into Matt's mouth, and he made sure to tell you that.
He finishes taking off your shirt and throws it on the floor and you do the same with his shirt. You loved feeling his body against yours, but obviously, you would never admit it, not even to yourself.
You run your hands down his back, during the kisses on his lips, and one of yours makes its way to his cock. You grab it under his pants and can feel the hardness that you were so familiar with. Matt separates his lips from yours to moan when you start masturbating him - making movements from bottom to top.
"Shit." He says with his head in the curve of your neck, kissing that part of your skin, moving up to your chin and then your mouth again, until he pulls away, sitting between your legs.
He quickly takes off your pants and panties, then takes off his own pants, looking at your wet pussy in admiration.
You cross your legs because of the sensitivity, but he opens them wide, causing goosebumps to appear on your skin.
At that point, Matt had already been moved by an overwhelming excitement that made you ecstatic. He was rough and arrogant during sex. He always liked to suck your pussy with his mouth full of saliva, circling your clitoris with his soft tongue. Look, Matt was not a patient person, so gentleness was out of the question. He really liked to fuck you from behind, pulling your hair, slapping your ass, squeezing your sensitive breasts and moaning loudly like you were a cock-hungry whore. But, to Matt's dismay, you were not as submissive as he would have liked; your solid idea of ​​fucking was to be on top of him with your hands pressing on his chest, always teasing him with words like: "Is this the best you can do, Matt?" "Shit, baby, I can't feel you right." and that always made him impulsive and irritated.
He hated how talkative and annoying you were, and for him the only way to shut you up was to shove his hard cock down your throat.
Now with dark and hungry eyes, you give Matt a lustful look as he gives your pussy a hot slap, spitting right on your clit, making the saliva run, shoving two fingers inside you. You moan slyly, with doe eyes begging to be fucked.
"Desperate whore. Always wanting a cock to satisfy that tight pussy, aren't you, baby?" he said, still sticking his fingers inside you.
He pulled his fingers out and put them in your mouth for you to suck on - which you did willingly.
Matt skillfully rubbed his tip against your clit, creating a delicious sensation that filled you with hard pleasure. He pulled his fingers out of your mouth roughly, forcing his hand against one of your legs to spread them wide, grunting as he teased his cock wet with pre-cum against your lubricated entrance.
"Fuck, can you fuck me already? I want to watch the new season of Outer Banks today!" you grumbled impatiently, wanting to cum, lifting your body to see the mess Matt was making in your pussy.
He rolled his eyes at your stupid comment. "You better shut the fuck up or I'll leave you without cumming, little slut." He says, slapping your cheek hard, shoving his cock inside you without pretense. Matt thrusts in and out of you hard. He lets out a hiss as he slaps your face again hard, but this time he holds your cheeks tightly, smiling at the vulnerable position you're in.
He keeps slamming his cock inside you, listening to your incessant whimpers. Tired of this position, he turns you roughly against the bed, putting you on all fours. He thrusts his cock back into you slightly, putting both your arms against your back, skidding your face against the mattress.
You let out a series of high-pitched, sly moans, not resisting the urge to scream when Matt thrusts his cock deep inside you. "Yeaaah."
Matt continues his thrusts and the pent-up feeling of cum is exposed as he pulls your body hard, leaving your back against his sweaty chest. Vehemently, Matt grabs your breast with one hand while he uses the other to turn your face to the side and kiss you.
"I-I'm going to cum," you moan desperately into his mouth, barely able to get the words out. "Not before me!" he exclaims against you, grabbing your neck and moving his hands down your mound to your needy clit. Son of a bitch! He teases you to the max by lightly running his hand over your clit, preventing you from having that vicious sensation in your favorite place.
You can't resist putting your anxious fingers there, however Matt slaps your hand hard, leaving a burning sensation.
"I told you I would cum first, fuck." he says in your ear, fucking you mercilessly.
"Please," whimpers escape your fragile lips, as he increases the frequency of his thrusts and you, desperately, slam against his cock. Matt smiles in pleasure when he hears your pleas, restraining himself from cumming too quickly. You pull Matt's hair in protest for him to masturbate you, and once again try to put your hand on your abused pussy, but he is quick and pulls your hand away.
"Please, please, please," you scream in protest, tears streaming down your blushing face.
Each time Matt slammed his cock against your pussy, the sounds of your skin slapping together spread throughout the room.
Matt stopped his shallow teasing of your clit and touched it as you so desired, allowing your pleasure to increase more and more. However, his imminent climax hit him first, making him moan. He came helplessly and without warning inside you, stopping his movements on your clit.
"What?" you say confused, feeling Matt's cum spurt out of you.
Matt wasn't the kind of guy who didn't know how to satisfy a girl, on the contrary, he liked to make sluts cum before him just so he could hear the minute whispers saying: "but what about you, Matt?" just so he could make them suck his dick in return."
Matt doesn't say anything. He pulls out of you causing you an inevitable discomfort.
All that delicious sensation fades from your body and you feel like crying. This isn't the first time Matt has done this to you. You hate it!
He starts to put his "pajamas" back on, completely ignoring you.
"Are you kidding me?" you mumble impatiently. Laying down on the bed with your back, grabbing a blanket to cover yourself.
"I told you I wanted to cum first." He shrugs, finishing putting on his worn-out shirt. "Oh, don't be mad at me, baby," he says in false sympathy. "I'm sure you can hold your own with your fingers!" he teases and you start to cry silently in frustration.
Matt risks a light kiss on your cheek. He smiles, walking to the door, and when he steps out into the hallway of the dorms, he hears the pillow being thrown against the door and a high-pitched scream from you.
₊⊹ soon, the second part.
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thetreefairy · 1 year ago
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Could you do another platonic yandere gojo where the reader refuses to call him papa or dad or sensei or anything after he kidnaps them so the reader just keeps calling him gojo? How would he react ?
Post mentioned : A purge with little chances
Warnings: yandere themes, manipulation, silent treatment, purge au, kinda angst? swearing, restraining, gojo hurts reader on purpose, not really explicit so-
Gn student reader, reader does have curly coded hair
Kofi - main masterlist
Dad loves you
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Gojo had it all planned out, he would have an adorable child and Megumi would keep them company when he couldn't.
And after Reader's adaption period the other students would be able to visit them too, maybe even taking them out on trips with his other students.
But Reader wasn't doing what he planned,
to be fair, they were stuck on their bed with broken legs and needed to ask him for help on the most basic things. Which, in his mind, was holding back the adaption period.
Reader was quiet and loved being alone, something he found rather adorable.
But Reader still hasn't called him any variation of dad, and even stopped calling them sensei!
So today he got Megumi to come over and try to find out why Reader isn't calling him by his proper title as their yandere caretaker.
"Reader," Megumi started. "Wanna talk?"
Reader looked Megumi, giving him a side eye and ignoring him as well. Reader didn't have the energy to deal with them, they just couldn't.
This caused Gojo to walk over to their bed and pressing on their leg, causing Reader to gasp out in pain. "You will talk to Megumi," He hissed. "I'll go away for an hour, I expect Megumi to tell me how it went."
This caused Reader to glare at him, their eyes full with tears. "How about we do your hair, huh?" Megumi asked. "Teacher has no idea how to take care of it."
This caused Gojo to stick his tongue out as he left and shouted: "Be good!"
And that's how you were now being pampered by your old best friend while he was trying to convince you to at least call Gojo father. You just cried.
"I don't want to acknowledge him as my dad." Reader mumbled. "Teacher has been kind to you, so why don 't you want to?" Megumi asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Are you stupid?" Reader hissed. "He took away my freedom, my choices, this bitch even fucked up my hair while i finally had some type of hair care!"
Megumi rolled his eyes. "You are so petty, you know that this is how the purge goes."
Reader gave him the middle finger, knowing full well he's saying that to pain Gojo in a good light.
And speaking of the devil
"Awhh, Megumi you got Reader's hair to look pretty!" Gojo greeted the two. "You should teach me sometime, or Reader can!"
Reader was still ignoring him, much to his annoyance, and from the look on Megumi's face. It wasn't gonna change soon, so perhaps he needed some drastic manners, maybe he should take away all their freedoms.
"Megumi, thank you for babysitting, I'll take it over." Megumi knew that look on Gojo's face. "Stay calm, they are simply acting out of frustation." Megumi whispered in Gojo's ear as he left.
But he didn't care anymore, he carried Reader to their bed, while their legs were healing, perhaps they shouldn't be. Maybe he should restrain Reader to the point they are nothing but a hopeless baby.
Maybe then they would call him dad or pa.
While reader was ignoring them, he decided to apply pressure to their legs rather severe. "Gojo- Stop!" Reader shouted, breaking their silence while holding back sobs. "Shh." He whispered, Reader was sure their legs broke again.
"Dad loves you, he's just doing this for your safety." He whispered in Reader's ear. "Dad will protect you."
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kitkatscabinet · 1 year ago
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Break up with your boyfriend
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John Mactavish x reader x Kyle Garrick
Requested by @bunnyreaper
Summary: Johnny and Kyle are hardly pleased with the news you're dating someone who's not them, and promptly decide to remedy the situation.
Word count: 1.5k
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“Sorry can’t, I’m calling my boyfriend tonight.” Your words reverberate through Soap’s mind even hours later, a neverending loop as he dazedly tries to make sense of the Earth shattering revelation. My boyfriend. Boyfriend. 
The heinous word mocks him, causing him to scowl at his plate murderously as he stabs the slightly undercooked vegetables with his fork hard enough that it’s a miracle the plate doesn’t shatter under the force. 
Gaz, who had been staring warily for a few minutes decided it was time to finally speak up, “You alright mate? Didn’t think the food was that bad,” he attempted to joke, smile dying when Soap’s imperious glare turned to him. 
“Did you know?” Ominous words aside, Gaz quickly manages to get to the root of Soap’s ire, finding himself joining the petulant club of disgruntled men stabbing their food and imagining it’s your boyfriend. He’d probably squeal like a little bitch after only one punch Soap mused. Not at all the type of man worthy of you. 
Still, they grit their teeth and wallow in their jealousy and rage because you just seem so happy, even if they both privately think you’d be so much happier with them. These thoughts are never vocalised to one another but it’s clear in the way Kyle clenches his jaw when you smile at your phone, and the way Soap is constantly raring for a spar to expend the sudden rush of agitated energy, that neither of them are truly happy about the boyfriend. 
The fragilely maintained peace doesn’t last, shattering barely a few weeks after they’d recieved the news, because they finally meet him. It’s during an outing at the local bar that often housed soldiers during their down time. The team had been waiting for your arrival, Soap’s knee jiggling as Kyle repeatedly checked his phone. You were thirty minutes late, you were never late, and just when the boys begin to fear for the worst, you arrive, only with a man’s arm wrapped around your waist. 
Instantly Kyle’s smile dies and Johnny’s clutching his glass so tightly that it’s a miracle it didn’t smash into a million pieces. You seem a little harried, usually immaculate appearance a little messed and the rumples in your shirt give the team a perfect idea of why you’re late, not to mention the stupid smug smirk that’s painted on your asshole boyfriend’s face. 
While Kyle at least tries to be a little magnanimous, though the petty remarks do slip through, Soap doesn’t even try to hide his dislike. “This him then? Shorter than I’d pictured” Soap says with a predatory grin, shaking your boyfriends hand so hard that something pops. Those words set the tone for the rest of the night, and it’s only thanks to Price sensing the underlying tension and keeping your attention on him and Simon that you don’t truly notice and get upset. 
Stuck between the full force of Kyle and Johnny’s charm turned to the max, your boyfriend barely gets a sliver of your attention. Especially when Kyle’s hand migrates to rest on your knee, his thumb rubbing circles that feel like fire as you try to focus on anything else. (Later you’ll try not to feel sick when you just narrowly avoid moaning Kyle’s name instead.) 
By the time your boyfriend is practically dragging you out of the establishment with gritted teeth and a strained smile, it’s been decided. There’s no discussion, it’s a completely silent transition, but upon finally meeting the douchebag, him and Kyle are suddenly on the same page. That being to get you to leave your loser boyfriend, using whatever means necessary. 
It starts small, neither of them want to scare you off. They’ve both always been naturally flirty with you, touches that already bordered the line of inappropriate, but they need to get you used to the thought of them, both alone and together. As much as Johhny wants to pin you to the bed and fuck you stupid, Kyle convinces him its not the best route. They needed to get you reliant on their touch, their words, their praise until you could barely think of anything else, let alone the supposed man calling himself your boyfriend. 
Johnny hugs you every morning, inhaling your scent and crushing you against him far too long to be normal. Kyle asks you how you slept, cheekily commenting that you’d have slept better in his arms. They pull your focus from your phone, subtly sliding it out of sight or straight up pouting when you won’t pay attention to them. Spars always inevitably ended with them grinding against you, acting like they weren’t hard, smirking smugly at you when your eyes were drawn to their erection. 
It pays off, because it doesn’t escape either of their eagle eyed notice when you start to seek them out more, the way you lean into their touches, how you seem almost surprised yourself when you start to initiate, desperate for their touch. 
That’s when they start to kick it up a notch. 
You’ll never know that it’s not an accident, Kyle leaving his door open wide enough for you to hear the way he moans your name, to see his hand desperately jerking his cock. Though he’ll later ask if you liked the show, watching the mortification flood your face when you realise he caught you watching. “I don’t mind, you can watch whenever you like, if you’re good, maybe I’ll let you touch,” those damned whispered words haunt your every waking hour, filtering into your dreams so much that more than once you wake up achingly horny. 
Never one to be shown up, Johnny stumbles into your room, alcohol on his breath and cheeks flushed as he collapses ontop of you. He uses his bulk to squish you into the mattress, nuzzling into the skin of your neck and pinning your arms to your side with his own muscular ones.
“What are you-” you shriek out in surprise, only to be cut off when he shushes you. 
“Calm down. ‘S just me,” he murmurs, as if that was the only issue. Further protests fall on deaf ears as you’re forced to accept that Johnny is your blanlet for the night. (You don’t fight nearly as hard as you should.) 
It’s the worst sleep of your life. Not because its uncomfortable, no, Johnny’s body against yours is too comfortable, feels too good. Then your night turns straight into hell when he starts to grind against you in his sleep. You can feel everything, his cock is slotted perfectly with your groin and his moans and whimpers filter directly into your ear. In your panic and guilty arousal you don’t know what to do and just when you go to wake him, the ache between your won legs becoming too much to bare, he stills. Your heart roars thunderously in your ears, throat dry and senses dialled to 11 when you hazily realise that he’s cum. 
Too keyed up from a restless night and unwilling to look Johnny in the eyes, you miss the victorious smirk he shoots at an equally proud and jealous Kyle. If one was bad enough, now the two of them are always together and they are insistent on not leaving you alone. Hands on your hips, around your shoulders, brushing your ass as the other stands moves to fill whatever free space there is. Not to mention the relentless use of pet names, babe, lovey, honey, bug, darling, everything’s been given a go until they settled on the things that flustered you the most. 
The final straw is when you walk into your room to see Johnny and Kyle sloppily making out on your bed. You don’t say anything to them at the time, unwilling to speak or do anything that you might regret while you’re still with your boyfriend. You refuse to be that person. 
The fate of your relationship is decided barely three months following its inception though its not as difficult to break it off as you thought it would be, especially not when just before he tells you that he didn’t want you hanging around Johnny and Kyle anymore. It was him or them and wasn’t it a little funny that he genuinely thought you’d pick him? 
It’s the fastest breakup of your life, not even a five minute phone call. Though you had hung up when he’d started to scream at you, all but running back to your room where Kyle and Johnny were waiting with matching grins, pulling you down between them like they’d practiced. 
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Tags: @juvenillia @ghostslillady @tokusho @ohworm-writes @kmi-02 @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jumpofmyclif @tiredmetalenthusiast @cooliofango @101crows
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respectthepetty · 3 months ago
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scared of your thoughts on fk - i think they confuse their friends & each other - feels so intricate
You asked about one specific pair, but . . .
You opened a floodgate!
I already wrote that I like fan service; therefore, I like First and Khaotung's special brand of teary-eyed fan service. However, I also wrote that JoongDunk are my GMMTV favorites because Joong is always hyping up his homies, and Dunk stays Pretty Boy Petty.
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So I'm excited to see all four promote The Heart Killers when the show is ready to be released since I think it'll be a hoot watching First and Khaotung call each other best friends with tears in their eyes while Joong sits next to them commenting on how banging Dunk's body is and Dunk openly agreeing that his body is, in fact, banging. Joong and Dunk are always firing shots at First x Khaotung for no good ass reason, so I'm thrilled they will get to do it to First and Khaotung's faces for an extended period of time.
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Because to me, most fan service is good since it allows people to see people of the same sex casually being affectionate with each other without the belief that it should be shameful or hidden, so give me all the styles of GMMTV fan service! Give me Force x Book's eighty year friendship, Pond x Phuwin's nerdy fashion model energy, Earth x Mix's marriage and divorce era, Tay x New's fist fights over dessert, Off x Gun's evolution of skinship, Jimmy x Sea's intellectual companionship, Gemini x Forth's "fuck it, we ball' attitude, and all the other 31 Flavors of Branded Pairs the BL world has to offer us.
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Because I really do not care what these men do or do not do or if it is real or not. What bothers me is these companies (not just GMMTV) encourage this behavior, then when fans get toxic, the companies leave the actors to deal with the fallout. I also don't like that out actors aren't as well protected and even straight actors and their girlfriends are targeted by fans, which only encourages queer actors to stay closeted while delivering a queer performance and for straight actors to feed into this mind fuckery by being in a pseudo-monogamous relationship with their acting partner which is an extension of our heteronormative societies and their belief that affection can only be reserved for one person.
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So my thoughts on First and Khaotung are irrelevant because I'm going to like all these pairs regardless of what they give me. Max and Tul were as open as possible about Max having a girlfriend and Tul being gay, yet that in no way influenced how I enjoyed their fan service. Yin and War have stated several times that what they do is their job, and I'm still clapping every time War chokes Yin. And as much as I truly believe Mos and Bank are married, if they came out today and said they actually hate each other and cannot stand the sight of each other, I'd be proud at their acting skills all these years because I have faked liking my coworkers for a lot less money.
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As a Catholic and a slut, I think there is a great sociological study here about how branded pairs help with queer representation regardless if the people in the pairs are queer or not, yet how the pairs must still fit into a digestible frame of traditional (hetero) relationships with affection only being given to one person forever and ever until death (or their contracts) do them part.
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So First and Khaotung aren't the only ones confusing people because this entire setup is confusing. They aren't creating some intricate strategy but these companies are. These actors are just out here telling their homies they look cute and going on (hopefully) company-sponsored trips. And if they like it, I love it.
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Because I've been pretending to like Karen from Finance for years when I can't stand that bitch, yet I still have a job that pays my bills, so "get it how you live it."
And make it a little queer along the way.
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gettinshiggywithit · 2 years ago
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!The BSD Cast With A Reader Who Has A Stalker!
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Scenario:- what the bsd characters would do if their s/o had a stalker
Characters included:- dazai,chuuya,kunikida,atsushi,yosano,ranpo,akutagawa (romantic pairings) kenji,kyouka and the tanizakis(platonic pairings)
Genre:-fluff/comfort?
Tw:- mentions of bein stalked and well,a stalker,Teeny bit of cussing
W/C:-2.4k
A/N:-yes this is inspired by my real life no i will not elaborate~
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↪️Osamu Dazai
If you tell dazai that you have a stalker,he’d probably joke about it at first.
But when you tell him how serious it had gotten and how stressed and scared it makes you,
He takes it way more seriously.
He obviously has a plan,our little manipulator.
And soon enough he’s threatened the stalker with an entire stack of private and compromising information.
They stop after that.and youre finally at peace.
When you thank dazai he first brushes it off as it havin been nothing at all,but ends it with a serious statement of how no one messes with the people he cares about.
As we know,the worst decision dazai’s enemies could make is making themselves his enemies.
And That stalker realized that the hard way.
↪️Chuuya Nakahara
Chuuya,unlike dazai is a little less calculated.
He has absolutely no issue with using force to make his point clear when he’s pissed(or not.) and you having to live in a constant state of fear because of this asshole is WAY more than enough to piss him off.
He finds the bastard(being a port mafia exec. Really did have its fair share of perks) and pays them a visit himself~
He comes home later that day looking rather pleased with himself and when you ask what he did,
He just says that he took care of it.
You know chuuya like the back of your hand,so you also know that he definitely has no problem with defending what matters to him,no matter what the cost.
So to protect your subconscious,you don’t question him further.
But he sees that youre a little uneasy so,he clarifies that the person isn’t dead.
Theyre just… permanently out of commission and chuuya’s slight look of annoyance tells you that he really didn’t kill the stalker.
You run into his arms and thank him and he hugs you back while pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.
You unwind with wine and dinner and enjoy your first carefree night in quite a while.
↪️Doppo Kunikida
Kunikida is outraged!
How dare these delinquents disrupt your daily life schedule like this!
He MUST do something about it.
Kunikida obviously doesn’t want it to turn into anything too confrontational(not because he wouldn’t fight for you,but because the clean up would require more energy and time than this bastard deserves)
So he calls up katai and has him dig up anything about this stalker of yours.
Soon kunikida has more than enough information to come up with the perfect plan of action.
Blackmail really isn’t his style so he goes for a little something different.
He calls up the stalker and while the bitch is scared shitless,he drops little bits of the info he’s gathered in conversation.(okay yh I lied.blackmail it is.we stan petty kunikida in this house~)
At this point he’s having a conversation with himself so he knows the stalker is definitely shaking with fear.
So he ends the call with a final statement,
“I suggest you leave y/n alone  if you know whats good for you.you wouldn’t want to ruin your entire life now would you?not that you haven’t already by sinking to the level you are already at, of course.”
And he’s met with a shakey “yes,sir…” before the line goes silent permanently.
He let you know you can stop living in fear and you two go over your next days routine.(mans had only allocated a certain amount of time to solve that entire thing okay :’))
↪️Atsushi Nakajima
Atsushi is a gentle soul,bless him,really.
But he was worried af when you told him about your stalker.
He’s determined to keep his s/o safe!
He asks ranpo for help,and is turned away(‘not botheredddd’ ßRanpo’s reply)
So he goes to dazai next.
Dazai obviously suggests blackmail.
Atsushi doesn’t wanna pull a dazai on this one.
So he just calls the number(dazai has it tapped and is using ranpo{he was bribed with candy} to track it) you’d blocked and when he gets a rude response tauting him;daring him to ‘actually do something about it’ he loses it!
Who does this asshole think he is?!
Atsushi fires back saying that he really will and when the stalker cuts the line laughing and repeating that atsushi wouldn’t do shit, he really is ready to go deal some damage.
He walks out into the main area of the ADA to see dazai sitting at his desk with a shit eating grin oh his face,a piece of paper with an address scrawled across it between his middle and pointer fingers.
“here you gooo atsuuushiiiii~~~” he says
Atsushi thanks him and takes off to take care of it.
He comes back in about 2 hours and when you ask him what he did,he simply says that he taught the asshat a lesson on respect!
You get a letter the next day from your stalker and to your surprise,it’s an apology letter which specifies that they’ll never bother you again.
You thank atsushi with a little peck to the lips and hes a complete blushing mess.
We love this fluffy puddy tat(that’s tweety for pussy cat {wan atsushi in the background :- IM A TIGER!})
↪️Ranpo Edogawa
Absolutely obliterates the stalker.
He was bored anyway and you bein in distress was definitely enough to get him to try something.
He too calls up the stalker,but instead of airing out current or recent dirty laundry , he goes straight for their most sensitive and embarrassing childhood and adolescent memories.
How he knows all of this baffles you
But such is the wonder that is ranpo edogawa.
And finally he ends his call with.
“oh and say hi to all the people I put in jail! You’ll be goin there in 3….2….1” and sure enough the police were at the stalker’s door.and they were taken away.
Your praise and thanks have ranpo beaming because as we know,he lives for the applause :”)
Serves em right for not knowing who they were messing with tbh.
↪️Ryunosuke Akutagawa
Akutagawa is peeved to say the least.
Why were such vermin even allowed to live on the same earth as him??
he definitely takes care of it.
Swiftly and elegantly might I add~
Rashoumon leaves the stalker permanently disabled once aku pays them a little visit.
What a waste of space.
He totally roasts the stalker on how useless and pathetic they are.
And finally leaves them with a last threat for initiative “leave y/n alone,or else ill come back and finish what I started.i cannot guarantee that you will survive.but it will certainly be painful.am I making myself clear?”
He’s met with a very petrified piece of shit and he finally kicks said piece of shit away from himself before leaving  swaggering away with his hands in his pockets and a bored look in his eyes.
When he arrives back at your apartment he tells you that you’ll be fine. And if they dare inconvenience you again,to let him know.
You really are grateful for your Mafioso boyfriend
↪️Akiko Yosano
Yosano is pissed
But also delighted!
She’s not delighted cos you have a stalker btw!
Shes delighted cos now she can use her ability on someone….or not ;3
Whatever it is,she gets to play mad scientist with someone she has absolutely no remorse for
Comes back home covered in blood and reassures you that she took care of it,with a shit eating(and slightly concerning ) grin on her face.
You know akiko wouldn’t have killed the stalker…but um youre not totally sure.
When you ask her she sadly says that theyre alive,but when she turns to walk away she whispers a muffles “barely” under her breath.
Either way,shes satisfied with herself~
Very slay of her tbh ;3
↪️Michizou Tachihara
Goes after em.
Buddy grabs his pistols and goes to take care of business himself!
He doesnt care abt protocol in that moment,but he also knows that mori wont give a shit cos its a personal matter
So he’s technically in the clear.
Once at the stalkers door,he knocks twice to get their attention and when her hears the sound of a hand landing on the handle,he shoots and gets em right in the hand!
And in the process of doing so,hes shot through the lock,so he kicks the door open{effortlessly} and confronts the stalker who recognises him immediately (i mean obvs)
Tachihara is a part of the port mafias elite kill squad so he’s no stranger to a messy job,but for the sake of your subconscious, he keeps it comparatively clean,shooting through the stalker’s limbs and beating the shit outta them too!
He cleans up into new clothes at gin and ryunosuke’s before comin back home to you(he knows that if you see him all bloodied up the questions will start)
And let me clarify that mans did this without your knowledge so while you’re watchin a movie that night,you do not know what he did but you find out the next day and immediately know it was him
His thank you was a little kiss on the lips that somehow managed to convey your total appreciation for him in only 3 seconds~
↪️Higuchi Ichiyou
With the way she is when it comes to akutagawa,we know that higuchi would be protective of the ones she loves
So when her s/o is bein terrorised by a stalker,you bet your ass shes gonna take action
Step one: identify the stalker
She covertly follows you around and when she sees the person you’d described to her,she begins to tail them.
When they get home she calmly and quietly walks upto their door and knocks
She then winds back her arm and waits until-
BAM the stalker is met with a face full of fist!
She then takes advantage of their confused state and tackles them to the ground
She bends one arm behind their back and when they try harder to resist,a sickening crunch and a howl of pain is let out
And now that she has their attention,she makes her threat: “leave y/n alone or else you’ll have to deal with the entirety of the port mafia next!”
Ofc this threat doesnt mean anything~
like I mentioned earlier,mori doesn’t give a shit about personal matters so theres no way anyone (else) from the pm would be knocking on ur stalkers door.
But they didnt know that~
So they beg and promise not to bother you anymore.they promise to leave you alone forever.
Higuchi knows that they’re being honest,the fear in their voice is a dead giveaway
So she gets up but then shoots two bullets On either side of the stalkers face,barely missing.
“I hope ive made myself clear” are the last words she mutters before disappearing into the night
And just like that,you were never bothered again.
↪️Yukichi Fukuzawa
President fukuzawa isnt really confrontational unless he has to be
So when you tell him that you have a stalker terrorising you,
He knows what to do
He asks ranpo to deduce the location of said stalker and withink seconds,he does
Then,fukuzawa writes a letter.
A very threatening letter
Your stalker knows all about him
Ofc they would he’s your significant other !
So when they see the letter addressed to them from fukuzawa,they are immediately intrigued
And after reading the letter,theyre fuckin FILLED with fear
They know how powerful and skilled the president of the GODDAM armed detective agency is
So they immediately decide to leave you alone
Death by katana wasnt something they wanted to experience.
So when you tell him how the stalker wasn’t bothering you anymore and how you knew he had to have done something about it,he just replied with
“All i did,
Was write a letter.”
↪️Kenji and kyouka(platonic.i aint writin romantic stuff for them yall.)
↪️Kyouka Izumi
Demon snow to the rescue.
One visit from kyouka’s ability and you’re sure to be okay for the remainder of your life.
The threat of being cut up by a katana wielding demon really does deter people from being creeps~
↪️Kenji Miyazawa
Finds them by using his many connections around town and beats em shitless.
They cant even tell which way’s up when he’s done with em.
Remember, his family motto is "If a cow defies you, strike it with something handy."
Suffice to say you were NEVER bothered by that stalker ,or any other stalker, after that!
↪️Tanizaki Naomi and Tanizaki Junichirou
You were best friends with naomi and thereby junichirou,and while their relationship weired out a lot of new people at the agency,you’d really never cared much abt it
So when you told them abt your stalker issue they were both worried.
This wasnt good for you or your mental health
So junichirou took it upon himself to take care of the situation
Naomi had you distracted the entire day with a whole day out of shopping and just FUN
Meanwhile junichirou had found the stalkers address and confronted them himself
As we all know,a pissed off junichirou is a SCARY junichirou
So you can bet the stalker tried to run
But as usual,
LIGHT SNOW TO THE RESCUEE
After the stalker thinks they’ve gotten away he appears behind them,with a gun pointed straight at their temple.
He threatens to pull the trigger (he wouldn’t)
And when the stalkers begs him not to,promising to leave you alone.
He scoffs and fires a bullet that just manages to graze their cheek.
He then lets the illusion break away as he disappears himself
After that,youre happy and you feel so FREE
You’re back to your old self again and the tanizakis fist bump to their success!
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please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.
feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!
Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please
Taglist open for anyone interested!
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marsprincess889 · 1 year ago
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JYESHTA
The battle, the loneliness and the cost of victory
Mercury ruled, Mars's sign.
A very lonely nakshatra indeed. Jyeshta means "the eldest" and it's also known as "the best". But what does that all mean?
To understand Jyeshta, we have to remember that it's fully in the sign of Scorpio. The previous nakshatra- Anuradha, also fully in Scorpio, is its yoni consort. Scorpio is the natural ruler of the 8th house of death, transformation and the occult. It's shrouded in secrecy, yet Jyeshta nakshatra still manages to be one of the most notorious lunar mansions.
Jyeshta's symbol is a round protective talisman or an umbrella. It's ruling deity is Indra- the lightning god and the king of the gods, who is covered in eyes and thus sees everything. The goddess associated with Jyeshta is Dhumavati- an old hag who's always hungry. Jyeshta natives are known for their success in the material realm, but little do most know that there's a lot more to it than that.
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We begin the story of Jyeshta with a somewhat outcasted underdog. They're not that understood, they are independent by nature, and most importantly, they do not trust a soul. Why so defensive, some might ask, but that's the eyes from which Jyeshtas see the world. Despite humble begginings, they're usually not pitied or treated as a victim. Since they do not like asking for help, they rarely get it, and honestly, that's the way they like it.
The underdog enters the world stage, immideately attracting attention because they do not follow anyone else's rules, but rather- their own. They have their uniqueness that protects them. Combat by combat, they defeat each and every one of their opponents and soon are seen as a new threat. With that comes jealousy, with jealousy comes resentment and/or respect. With all that comes fear. Jyeshta's power is "to rise, conquer and gain courage in battle". The battle is life, but what does it mean to rise and conquer? How does one outsmart their opponents? The answer is you simply do not fight them.
When you view someone as an opponent you automatically set yourself up for losing. The opponents are equals but since you're an individual and since you know that you can't trust anyone but yourself, why would you play by their rules? Why would you equate yourself to them? Jyeshtas honor their own uniquness by protecting their energy (mercury rulership, very similar to Ashlesha) and learning their lesson from the previous mercury-ruled nakshatra- Ashlesha, they only engage in a fight with worthy opponents. Jyeshtas know they're only one worthy opponent for them and that's themselves. So, they just work on being better and better, not getting distracted by petty and unimportant squabbles, literally rising above the unnessecary conflict and thus conquering everything they rose above.
But is success all there is to life? Jyeshta is the survivor, always thinking about the next step and enjoying the independence despite being so widely disliked because of their difference, because of their uniqueness and success. Sure, they're content being themselves, but as natural loners they struggle with emotional intelligence, hence their reputation as insensitive jerks for masculine people or rude bitches for feminine people.
A Jyeshta story- The Queen's Gambit
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I want to analyze a fictional Jyeshta story that has been brought to life on screen- The Queen's Gambit. The writer of the novel - Walter Tevis had Ketu in Jyeshta nakshatra. Ketu represents your stored primal creative energy, past lives, the past in general, the father's lineage and a person's daemon. A daemon is basically the opposite sex version of you who is the personification of your creative and sexual energy. Walter Tevis wrote about the archetype of a Jyeshta woman, making her the protagonist of his story. Considering that I haven't read the book, I'll analyze the Netflix series that it inspired.
Chess overall is a very Jyeshta game. It's a competitive sport but it requires concentration, intelligence, discipline, talent and skill. If you make one miscalculation, then you're lost.
SPOILERS AHEAD
Our protagonist, Beth Harmon, begins as an 8 year old girl who lost her mother and was taken to an orphanage. There she never looked at elders the same way that others did, having a critical mind and an independence and uniqueness to her that set her apart from others from an early age. She was exceptionally good at maths and unusually so, considering her age. One day, she goes into the basement and finds the custodian_ Mr. Shaibel playing chess with himself. She's immideately drawn to the game and doesn't leave him alone until he explains the rules. Since then, she's hooked.
She eventually leaves the orphanage, getting adopted by a childless couple at 15. She already thinks like an adult and treats her new mother's authority like it's nothing and she's not really challenged in that. Jyeshta is the stage where you're the authority, you're the only one who's responsible for yourself, you're the eldest, the wisest and that energy makes others want to depend on you in one way or another. It's where you find the strength in yourself to make everyone else submit. So, Beth started to earn money by playing chess. It's important to note that her new mother had a drinking problem and despite that, Beth didn't drink herself before she thought she deserved it. Only after achieving some success does she slowly start getting addicted to substances, her addiction increasing as her success grew bigger.
Being the best in the game was not exactly easy for Beth, as she struggled with her love life. Jyeshtas are often not concerned with the emotional aspect of life, despite having a certain sensuality to themselves. They're naturally closed off and because of that many people find them mysterious. They won't hesitate to to attack anyone though, but their every move is calculated and planned.
Beth was bullied at school and that's a common Jyeshta theme (see my The Princess Diaries post) but she never paid any attention to it and later we see the mean girl she was at school with living a completely different life than her- the one that she would not want. The scene perfectly captures the difference between the Jyeshta archetype and the masses. Jyeshta is focused on winning, defeating themselves and by that defeating their opponents so they have little time for anything else. In contrast, her high school classmate was married and with a child, living a typical suburban American life.
In another scene, we see her success and loneliness turn to arrogance and rudeness as she encounters and old opponent, friend and ex-lover who was living a simple life and showed his contentment with that. That shows a more negative and quite a sad side of the Jyeshta archetype.
She hits rock bottom, starts to lose her focus and at the last minute, when she has no money to fly to Moscow for the tournament, a helping hand comes in. We'll get into why she accepts that help.
Her helper was her childhood friend from the orphanage_ Jolene, who was snarky and honest to her from the start. It's very telling that she was Beth's first friend. Jyeshta is a full-circle moment, it's the growing into your own power after you've defeated your past self, after you've managed to move on from past pains. When Beth had had closure with Jolene and after attending Mr. Shaibel's funeral, she goes into the orphanage and enters the basement. She sees how he had all the newspaper pages about Beth taped to the wall. Beth breaks down and cries. After confronting the core part of herself, she accepts help from Jolene because she's already healed that part of herself, so she'll have no unwelcome ties with Jolene, only the one she chose. She's conquered herself from that time and now is free to rule it. The only thing that was left to do was to go out there and be herself, because after you defeat yourself, there's truly no one else to defeat.
She defeats the Soviet champion and and makes peace with all parts of herself. When she's about to leave Moscow Beth gets out of the car and takes a walk, truly enjoying life. With the war with herself behind, she remembered why she's so good at chess, because she truly loves it so much. She enjoyed the competition and the tension, she loved the battle. There was no reason not to, not when she was unafraid of being who she was. After all these combats, she realized that there was only one real enemy-herself, and defeating that enemy requires bravery, the strength to bear the hardship and skill, a lot of skill to survive and all of that based on cunning.
When you realize that, the world is your oyster. It's all a game, and it's your game, you're alone.
She sees a big group of old men playing chess with each other in a park. Beth stops by, and the men, recognizing her, invite her to play. Beth sits down, smiling, knowing they'll both enjoy the game she takes her gloves off and says...
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If you liked this PLEASE like, comment or reblog, or even message me. If you have jyeshta or if you know them or if you like The Queen's Gambit, definitely let me know what you think. This was a bit stressful, considering my ketu is in jyeshta and it was not easy to dig into the deepest parts of myself. This series came out while i was going through a ketu antardasha that shook me to the core and it spoke to me so much. Anyways, thanks for reading, love you and take care 🤍.
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howling-medic · 2 months ago
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I have had no Adderall and too much caffeine, and I have been thinking. A dangerous combination, but a very fun one. I have reached many conclusions about many things, but the thing I have become most convinced of is that almost every single character JRRT has ever written is some form of little shit and/or chaotic gremlin. Here are a few outlined. Please add more:
* Aragorn: *gestures wildly at the entirety of the Prancing Pony chapter* *points emphatically at the houses of healing exchange with Merry* need I say more? The man may be Isildur’s heir, but he is a little shit. I love him for it.
* Gandalf: my man straight up just had no real reason for choosing Bilbo to be the thief for thorin’s company. He could not explain himself even once. Then there’s the whole Beorn debacle. Then there’s the dramatics with how he returned to Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli. Chaotic gremlin. Little shit.
* Merry and Pippin: they’re getting clumped together. I don’t think I need to explain.
* Sam: he may be the most sane of all of these fuckers. Truly. He’s the most pure hearted and least chaotic. He still was trimming the verge a little late, and he was in cahoots with Merry and Pippin. Chaotic gremlin adjacent
* Bilbo: do I need to explain this one? He used the One Ring to hide from annoying relatives. Little shit and chaotic gremlin are his defining characteristic traits
* Legolas: danced atop the snow while everyone was drowning in it. Declared he would attempt to get the sun to come help them. Let Aragorn listen for horses he could literally see and describe. Built his own boat 120 years after the last one sailed and BROUGHT A DWARF
* Gimli: his entire personality is silver tongued snark with a large side of intelligence and violence. He was going to be mad at Merry and Pippin for dying because of the energy he put into finding them. I’m pretty sure he proposed counting kills to Legolas.
* Frodo: chaos. Thinks he’s going to just venture off into the woods by himself. Little shit. Thinks nobody is going to realize something is up. Love him. He’s bad at both
* Boromir: tries to oppose the wisdom of people literally over 150 times his ago. Kinda little shit energy, but he didn’t do it to be contrarian, so it’s the weakest entry so far
* Faramir: let’s talk about henneth annun. Let’s talk about the way he let Sam freak out only to start laughing. Dude is a little punk, and I love it
* Eomer: declares Aragorn not Strider but Wingfoot. I can’t explain his placement on this list really. He’s just chaos gremlin vibes
* Eowyn: my sweet horse girl. My caged warrior. She is chaos gremlin incarnate as driven by wanderlust and desperation. Truly my kindred spirit. I will die for her. You know she was wonderfully insufferable and a pain in her brother’s ass - in the best way.
* Melkor: literally the original little shit. Everything started going sideways because he was a petulant child and then it got worse the more jealous he got. Because the OG chaos gremlin. It just so happens that there are cosmic level consequences when he acts out
* Denethor: falls more under petty bitch than little shit or chaos gremlin. My man was so threatened by Thorongil that he was glad when he left and turned men against Gandalf because Aragorn counseled that Gandalf should be trusted. Just….fuck Denethor…with a cactus.
* Saruman: the ploy with Radagast to get Gandalf to Isengard was 10/10 chaos gremlin energy. Evil chaos gremlin energy, but chaos gremlin energy nonetheless
Alright, with that, I’m out of ideas. I’m certain I can come up with stuff for Galadriel at the very least, but I lack the requisite focus at the moment.
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pastadoughie · 13 days ago
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other posts abt this are getting deleted
my brother killed himself- the one i actually like somewhat (ryan) & not the nazi shithead who tried to choke me to death this time last year (julian). i am the youngest of 3.
hes kinda a complicated guy, similar to how they treat me i only ever get to hear about him through other family members making fun of him for his every issue - so much of what i know is negative.
most of my opinion of ryan for the past 4 years maybe has been sortof admiring- atleast in comparison to my other family members- hes the only one who actually shielded me from julians constant phisical abuse, & the only one with the sense to realize that my entire family is a bunch of miserable abusive leaching assholes who are best off associated with as little as possible. i may think hes a racist & a bit of an idiot but i still really respect him as the only person who doesnt treat me like eaither a rabid dog or a walking suicide note
its a bit offputting to me honestly- the last time i had a close relationship with him was when he was a terminally online barely legal teenager- boyblogging about my little pony & fat bitches on the internet & trying to escape a deeply abusive home life dispite having no money & no education. primary difference being with me being trans & disabled & my abuse more overt & overarching i dont really get the luxury of having any kind of positive feelings about anyone in my family. i wouldve been dead years ago if i hadnt learned how to deal w/ myself & my emotions entirely independantly. its a recursive cycle i suppose
he called a few family members shitfaced drunk the day of- was made fun of them by every one, a few hours later was supposed to go to work. drove onto an empty road in his lexis at night. driving straight before making an entirely unessasary turn to veer off the road- flipping his car multiple times over. dieing on impact- hes gotten in many accidents before- & had flipped that car & gotten hurt previously & likely rendered much of its safety features unusable.
in all likelyhood probably alot about money- a certain degree of reckless drinking & petty theft charges & unpayably expensive car repairs & your problems stop really being fixable- needing a level of both financial & mental health intervention that nobody is wiling/capable of providing to someone they veiw as a drunk.
i dont have many thoughts on this topic that i feel are meaningful- im someone primarily apathetic & only incedentally empathetic- i only show proper emotions in maybe small 20 minute intervals once in a blue moon
my primary source of emotion has just been how angry my entire family seems to be at me specifically- a unanimous & explicit & constant reminder that they would really really really rather i kill myself then them have to ever look at me or deal with my stupid inability to do seemingly easy tasks like work & schooling. i guess theyll never really get any self awareness. in many ways i dont respect any of them- even ignoring everything else theyve ever done thats just kindof a ghoulish & overly cruel thing to say- but you cant tharapyspeak your way out of being atleast a little emotional about your entire family wanting you dead
im just gonna keep silly posting as usual. abiet maybe somewhat lower energy. especially because people are seemingly incapable of treating me like a normal human being & not flattening me down to solely my life situation, out of some strange assumption that treating someone like a 1d characature of a mentally ill person from a tharapy training course is somehow less offensive then saying something mildly triggering by accident
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whumpdrivethru · 1 month ago
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Hi can I gut uhhh…whumper getting sick of whumpee’s fighting spirit and drugging them w smth that’ll leave them dazed and euphoric?
Your server takes no responsibility for subversion of expectations :]
Cw: drugging, captivity, mentions of death, minor sexual implications
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Whumper sighed. They hated this. But they had to. They simply had to.
Whumpee's behavior was getting out of hand.
When the two got together, it wasn't much of an issue. In fact, the prospect of having their own little personal serial killer was rather exciting, and they made sure to do everything right.
Whumpee would never hurt them. They knew this. A yandere would kill anyone who hurt their beloved.
But it was clear they were getting closer to that line each day. Each day that went by where Whumpee would try so desperately to escape, to book it out the front door once Whumper got home, weapons somewhere on their body.
Perhaps Whumper needed to rethink this relationship to begin with, but… they couldn't bring themself to. Whumpee was perfect, absolutely stunning, and their capacity for violence was a little endearing considering it was always always out of dedication to their relationship.
They had notified their friends as well as Whumpee's boss that Whumpee had simply come down with a nasty illness that Whumper was taking care of.
As they watched Whumpee kneeling by the reinforced windows, looking out like a lonely dog… they weren't exactly wrong.
“You're staring, darling,” Whumpee said without even looking away.
The blush spread quick, “Sorry…”
Whumpee looked up at them, longingly. “Just one day. I'll be good, I promise. No killings-”
Whumper rolled their eyes, “We both know that's a lie.”
Whumpee glared at their lover with a scowl. “I will get out at some point or another. You can't contain me forever.”
Whumper looked down at them, “You will get out, that's true. You'll only be getting out once I’m certain that you won't kill Friend over the disagreement we had a month ago.”
They'd learned pretty early to keep their complaints low. Whumpee could respect most of their wishes, but sometimes their nature would override their need to keep Whumper happy.
They would only complain about petty things where Whumpee wouldn't waste their energy, or if it was something serious where they really didn't care if the person lived or died.
They'd slipped up a bit ago. And now they had a rabid dog in their house, clawing at the walls to get out.
Whumpee practically growled. “I don't want to hear that bitch's name ever again after what he called you.”
Whumper let out an exasperated sigh. This was not something they were willing to entertain again. Instead, they walked off to the bedroom to leave Whumpee to their sulking.
They picked up a bottle that was for emergency uses only. Usually only when they had wanted to spice up bed time. The liquid inside would make the person who drank it rather pliant, more easy-going and dazed.
Normally, it was just for when they had agreed to try something new but the one on the receiving end was tense.
Now…
They looked at the bottle.
There wasn't really any other way to keep Whumpee happy.
Whumper sighed. They hated this. But they had to. They simply had to.
Making their way to the kitchen, they started on dinner. Whumpee snuck up behind them, startling them a bit with a hug from behind while they watched their love cook.
They had to shove Whumpee off with a laugh so they could take it out of the oven once it was done.
Whumper looked at the cups that had yet to be filled, “what do you want to drink?”
“I think just some milk will do for me.”
They nodded, “Okay I'll get you some. How about you go pick out a movie for us to watch tonight?”
“You got it,” Whumpee responded before giving them a small kiss, picking up the plates, and happily going to the living room.
Whumper took a breath, filling one of the cups with milk and adding in some of the drug. This would be the first time it was ever used without agreement.
They poured themself some water and sat down next to Whumpee on the couch. They put the milk down on the coffee table.
Whumpee pressed play before taking a swig of their milk.
They blinked. They made a weird face, before it turned into a slightly relaxed smile. They drank a bit more before putting it down and picking up their food.
Their eyes were slightly glazed.
“You know, dinner's really good tonight…”
Whumper turned their attention to the movie, “Is it now?”
“Yeah…” Whumpee responded. “It's almost like… I'm floating. I really like it here.”
They saw their chance. And they took it, “And you won't keep trying to escape?”
Whumpee thought for a bit. Then shook their head. “No. I really like it here… I really like you,” they gave a dopey smile.
Whumper looked down at their glass of water, “Well I should hope so.”
Their eyes trailed over to their lovely little serial killer.
A sad smile split their face, “We're dating after all.”
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You have been served by Anath :]
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