absolutelybifurious

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some slow-mo bachelor party eddie gifs, for your pleasure

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watching smallville with @ataraxetta and shushing her then making us rewatch a scene of lexs voice cracking 7 times >>>>>>>>

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you know when you’re having an existential crisis but it lowkey feels kinda good

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tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website

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9-1-1 ▸ 5.11 outside looking in || 5.18 starting over

[absolutelybifurious]

One thing that's interesting to me about the whole "everyone dismisses Buck's feelings except Eddie" conversation (most recently displayed so well in this post) is that...none of those people are really wrong (except maybe Josh). Buck throughout his coming out arc really doesn't seem to know what he's feeling. We always knew, but it was made explicit in the back half of season 8 that Buck did have feelings for Eddie and he was misplacing those feelings onto Tommy. He wasn't in touch with his feelings and he did get swept up in something new and exciting. All those things people said to him were true.

But it STILL matters that Eddie is the one who asks him how he feels. And not because Eddie is the only one who cares about him (obviously Maddie cares about him, and Tommy was falling in love with him) or because Eddie is the only one who understands him (again, everyone was right, so clearly they understood him). It's because Eddie (possibly not consciously, but at least at a narrative level) is the one giving him the opportunity to move forward. Both after the lightning strike (when Buck by his own admission doesn't know how he's feeling) and during the thing with Tommy, Buck was stuck. He didn't know how he felt, so he couldn't take any particular action. Couldn't figure out how to face the reality of dying, couldn't figure out what to do about Tommy. And yes, other people recognized his "stuckness" and pointed it out to him in a way that they clearly thought would help him, but Eddie is the only one to point out that the only way forward is to trust himself. To stop looking for the answers in everyone else's advice and to believe that his own feelings matter.

Because I do think the reason Buck never seems to know what he's feeling is that he was very much raised to think his feelings don't matter. He wasn't seen as a full person by his parents, just a tool to fix the son they loved, and he failed at that. He was ignored rather than nurtured, and so yeah, he has strong emotions, but he doesn't bother to investigate them, because why bother? It won't make a difference. No one else cares how he's feeling, so why should he?

But then Eddie comes along, and he does care, and more importantly, he recognizes (again at least in a meta sense, if not consciously) that what Buck really needs is to care about it himself. Buck gets stuck because he doesn't think it matters how he feels. Eddie tells him, of course it matters, and it's important that you realize that it matters.

Now of course Buck doesn't necessarily make the best decisions in either of those circumstances, but that's not the point. The point is that Eddie made him think about it. And I do think that set him on the path to where he ended his emotional spiral over Eddie leaving by making a good decision and channeling his care for Eddie into taking over his lease.

I don't think Buck even needs to have a "feelings realization" about Eddie. There are hints there that he already knows how he feels about Eddie ("I don't have to sleep with everyone I have feelings for," and "Everyone wants me to be pining over my straight best friend" (a thing not a single person ever said to him)). It's just he's still in that place where he doesn't think it matters how he feels.

Maybe he's just waiting for Eddie to remind him again that it does.

[absolutelybifurious]

Buddie Countdown to Season 9:

43 days.

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Eddie Diaz Appreciation | Season 3

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#well Buckley, I think you got that covered already...

inspired by this post by @thirdwheelravi

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some of you are perfectly fine people but you need to develop self esteem and distress tolerance so bad how are you ugly and having the worst day of your life every day

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My 51 year old therapist mother LOVES Pokemon go

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god said let's give this bitch so much self awareness it's going to stop her from doing literally anything

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maybe the minor heart attack they gave buck is what caused the pulmonary embolism...

[absolutelybifurious]

9-1-1 | LET GO (1.02) 9-1-1 | HOLY MOTHER OF GOD (8.11)

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Buck + being totally normal about his renter-and-straight™️ bestboyfriend moving to Texas

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[absolutelybifurious]

you want her, but she's so mean (you'll never let her go, why don't you let her go?)

ty to @absolutelybifurious for the inspired song choice