#the pesci brainrot is so real

[lasquadrashusband]

may we,, get some pesci content,, please? 🥺 he's very underrated poor baby

guess who’s back.

ME

AAAAA OKAY IM SO EXCITED TO START WRITING AGAIN

Pesci is in his early 20’s, around 22-24

I feel like he dyes his hair, its originally a light auburn or brown

but i do also like the idea he has green body hair, its just kinda goofy to me

I hc him as a trans male!! He does T-shots and a little ship indulgent; Ghiaccio loves to help him do his shots since he’s afraid of needles

He is chubby,, <33 he does work out a lot too (cough cough lifting fishing gear) so he does have muscle too!! He’s super strong

I think he would really like to doodle too, he’s actually pretty good at it and has a sketch book filled with doodles/drawings of his team members, he gets super flattered that his team members like his drawings, and gives them out if he’s confident enough

Somewhere deep inside me feels like he would listen to rap music, not like Sigil raps, but like those silly rap songs where they just rap about how much they love to rap and dance

He also listens to Rock and a bit of Pop, he is a Britney Spears fan and has been to one of her concerts

He does like to swim a lot, in my backstory for him he really loves swimming and the water in general

He’s also super into sea life and things like that, his favorite sea animals are sea slugs (Totally not based off one of my super good friends/sarc), and has a lot of plushies of them and squid

I hc him and Prosciutto are half brothers, and loves being around him because he’s super happy he has someone to look up to and is finally not an only child like he thought he was all his life

He probably drives super well ngl, he hates driving with Ghiaccio and will force him to sit in the backseat so he can’t yell at anyone out the window and make sure that he follows every rule (apart from the occasional speeding)

I feel like he really loves to watch documentaries with Prosciutto/Risotto, he finds them super interesting but hates to listen to them in the car because he needs to actually watch footage with it to focus

Ngl,, I feel like he can be really sociable, he just needs a few minutes to prepare himself to talk to anyone. He gives himself pep talks before he goes to order food, and plans out his order

He does like to dye his hair different colors, he does it especially during April Fools to see if other members notice (they do sometimes, espically Ghiaccio)

He’s super good at baking and cooking, whenever he makes any type of sweet Formaggio and Melone are always behind him waiting for the cookies/cake to cool down enough before they eat all of it

He really does like to hang out with Ghiaccio (and make o-), he loves hearing him rant and if he hangs out with him for a long time he even starts to pick up slang and mannerisms from him (Much to La Squadra’s horror)

I hc him as mlm/pansexual, he kinda goes between the two sometimes, he’s still kinda figuring out what/who he wants

mwah mwah im gonna write about ghiaccio next probably….i love my little meow meows

[jojolovenotes]

JXKSND can I join in the little f/o game? 👉👈

Tell me who your f/o is and I’ll tell you how they’d selfship with you.

Prosciutto had no idea what selfshipping was, he was actually introduced to the concept because of Pesci.

Of course when he first heard about it he found it silly, but that’s until he discovered your character. 

I’m sure you’d be from a fandom that Pesci was originally in and so often tried to get Prosciutto to be interested in but he never had any interest UNTIL he realized your character was part of that series.

It was kind of strange really... Prosciutto couldn’t understand how he could feel so much for a fictional character, yet here he was now constantly thinking of you (The Sid brainrot too real). 

As expected, Pesci is very supportive of Prosciutto indulging in selfshipping, but gosh he keeps denying it until he eventually admits it to Pesci (but also threatens him NOT to repeat this to anyone else). 

While he doesn’t really draw or write anything himself, Prosciutto definitely looks up fanart and writings involving you. 

He does keep a little journal (hidden away where no one else can find it omg) where he writes you little notes and letters. He thinks it’s kinda silly but it makes him feel less lonely.

[wri0thesley]

Are the requests truly open? ;u; does that mean I may request more neko content, possibly with la squadra? I know the brainrot on here is real for Prosciutto and Risotto but I'm weak for Illuso and Formaggio and I'd die a happy kitten if you could write about them being alone at hq for the weekend to care for the neko which turns into a contest: whose food does neko like more, whose bed does the kitty build their blanket nest in... who breeds them better? I hope this isn't too much/ too weird!

not sfw, afab reader, petplay/kitty hybrid reader! 

The hideout isn’t often as quiet as it is this weekend. Though La Squadra are often needed on various jobs, they tend to be a little more sporadic than this; it’s unusual for there to be more than three or four assassins out on a mission at any one time. It’s even more unusual for seven of them to be out on missions that are expected to last at least the weekend - but that’s what’s happened, in order for Illuso and Formaggio to be the only two left to take care of you. 

As a whole, you’re well-behaved - you’re good-natured, sweet, nice to look at. All of the assassins are very fond of you, and competitions to see who you are going to give your affections to are regular and can get exceedingly competitive. They all see your smiles, and are pleased by your soft words, feel special when they’re chosen to be the one whomst you sit by in an evening and allow to pet your ears as you relax into the touches. 

There’s definitely an aura of foreboding about Formaggio and Illuso being left to care for you. Usually, it’s Prosciutto who takes care of your food (he’s the best cook in La Squadra, after all), and Melone who makes sure your environment is suitable (being the most interested in your biology). Risotto tends to have a lot of time spent with him by dint of him being peaceful and leaving you to your business. 

Formaggio, they think, will not take it seriously enough. And Illuso - well, all of La Squadra are guilty of looking at you and imagining what it would be like to have you folded in half beneath them, your tail curled around your ankle, your ears twitching as you purr and pant in equal measure. Illuso has a tendency to whisper things closely to people, to get in personal space, to make one feel as though they’re the most fascinating person in the world - perhaps, then, they’re worried that if left on your own with Illuso, he’ll get the spoils of war they’ve all been hoping for. 

Illuso and Formaggio are used to working together; they’re the natural leftover pairing against Sorbet-and-Gelato, Prosciutto-and-Pesci, and Melone-and-Ghiaccio. But they do have a rivalry that’s kept up with barks of laughter and accusations of one being far cooler, more powerful and all-around better than the other. It’s not surprising, then, that the two of them concoct a plan to see which one of them does a better job taking care of you - with the caveat that if one of them gets to breed you, they’re the automatic winner. 

They’re stoked in their resolve by how happy you are to see them - the purr of their names, the way you follow close by them, the happy swish of your tail and ears. Neither of them can resist petting you and telling you how cute you are (though Formaggio is rather more affectionate about the whole thing). They explain their plan to you - after all, who better to judge than the person that it’s all happening for?

They omit one important part of the plan. When you tip your head to the side and pout and ask;

“But how will we know when it’s the end? How will we know who wins overall?”

Formaggio ruffles your hair and grins at you.

“Ahh, gattina,” he says to you. “We’ll know, believe me!”

So they do. They start with your food. Illuso is a surprisingly good cook, it turns out - Formaggio doesn’t really know what to do in the kitchen, and he attempts to order in. The pizza that he presents you with is too greasy with not enough meat - Illuso one hundred percent wins the feeding round, and you tuck yourself up next to him on the couch to watch a movie whilst Formaggio stews angrily on the other side of the room. 

Next is the brushing. Everybody knows you like to be preened and cared over; there are a hundred different products in the bathroom to make sure your fur stays soft and shiny, and to keep your hair looking its best. When you’re sat between Formaggio’s legs and waiting to be pampered, you feel his fingers give a little tug to your ear and you know that this is going to be an uncomfortable experience. You can barely stop yourself yowling in frustration as he tugs on another knot, and uses the wrong brush, and brushes you all the wrong way--

You’re relieved when Illuso sighs and pushes him away and puts all of those things to rights. Two points for Illuso, then. it seems as though poor Formaggio is doing a very bad job of this competition. 

The final competition for the night is who you’d rather sleep with. Illuso has fancy satin and silk sheets and pillows on his bed - he doesn’t think there’s going to be a competition, honestly. His room is quiet and peaceful and smells good. He’s very smug about it as he asks you if you want to come to bed, reassuring you that if you want someone to be around whilst you’re sleeping - as you do, you can’t help it! - there’s plenty of room on his bed.

Formaggio, though, insists you come and have a look at the space he’s made for you first. You humour him, not really expecting it to be any good - you stay away from Formaggio’s room at the best of times - only to find a carefully constructed nest on his bed, made entirely of clothes of various La Squadra members and your own favourite blankets.

(”Prosciutto is going to be so mad about that Prada suit,” Illuso murmurs from the corner of his mouth, as he frustratedly watches you pounce on the nest and begin to roll around, getting comfortable. “I’m going to tell him.”)

(”Whatever,” Formaggio grins, unable to stop himself watching the way your ass wiggles as you get comfortable. “You’re just jealous I won one.”)

And he did. Not that he planned much further than that - by the time he gets into bed himself, he’s horribly aware that he’s given you too much leeway. You’re comfortably curled up already, and he’s trying to get all of his body under the duvet. It’s three in the morning before he manages to let his eyes fall shut--

And then, there’s a heavy weight on top of his chest and a hand swatting his cheek gently. He wakes up, groaning, to see that you’re sat on him with your eyes big and glowing in the moonlight.

“Maggie,” you tell him, all whining and pouting and purring (and he can’t deny that something about the pout and the way you stretch out the pet name sends a ricochet of heat right to his cock), “wanna play.”

Who is he to deny you that? 

It’s you who’s surprisingly physical with him - pouncing across at him, your hands scrabbling over his chest, your face rubbing against his. You keep purring and rumbling chest deep, your body warm and needy. Formaggio doesn’t know what’s going on until you grab his hand and push it against your chest, almost hissing in frustration--

And then he recalls something, in the very recesses of his mind, Melone said once. About how your species is supposed to get very physical in heat. About how they’re more likely to seek out scents of people they care about when one is approaching. About how they’ll often approach the first person they see when waking up for some relief--

“Oh, gattina mia,” he murmurs. “You could have just said--”

Illuso finds him with his cock hilted all the way inside you, your hands flexing on Prosciutto’s expensive Prada suit as all of the other various clothes beneath you are rendered filthy by the slick that’s dripping out of you with every hungry pump of Formaggio’s cock. You’re mewling and whimpering out his name, your keening echoing through the house - nobody ever said you’d be quiet when you were in heat. Illuso stands at the doorframe for a minute, his face stony.

Formaggio sees him and laugh-gasps out a greeting;

“Lulu! Looks like . . . I won, huh?” In between thrusts, you’re practically purring, your eyes rolling back into your head. You look sweaty and fucked out, blissfully pleased to be in the position you’re in - but when you see Illuso, you whimper out;

“W-wanna play, too?” You look at him with your eyes all big and needy, and Illuso sighs as he begins to shrug off his clothes, though his cock is stirring rapidly and hungrily as he watches Formaggio’s cock drive in and out of your body. Catching Formaggio’s eye, Illuso grins;

“Well. It’s not a competition unless we both try, is it? Our piccolo micio will tell us who wins, won’t you?”

As Illuso’s fingers graze your face and you lean into the touch, you agree without so much as blinking. They might need to have a couple of rounds. 

You know. To help you choose.

[lasquadrashusband]

Literally just thinking about chubby n tall pesci sbshsj

And yes while he has a lot of power in his own right, I just like to think his appearance helped him w getting onto the team w Prosciutto. Like tall and chunky Pesci looks like he's built like a brick wall, Prosciutto's bodyguard, and could easily be used for intimidation- until he opens his mouth but that's okay I luv him sm still

OMG,, AHSJDBFHDBFSHD CHUBBY,,,PESCI

I WAS JUST TALKING ABT THIS WITH MY FRIENDS TOO AAA

I literally can’t describe how much i love,, chubby,,pesci

LIKE,,, THIS MAN CAN MANHANDLE YOU BUT HE CHOOSES NOT TO

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

anyways back to what i was saying

I don’t think hes as tall as Risotto,, but like hes def talk yk yk

I feel like when he first joins la squadra,, everyone is like “who the fuck is this guy” cause hes just super quiet and isnt talking to anyone but prosciutto

But they find out that hes just anxoius early on

I feel like he would use being bigger than average to his advantage

Oh, the target is getting away? No problem,, he could just use his MASSIVE arms to reel them in

The target is hurting one of his teammates? FUCKING TACKLE THEM

BUT LIKE,, HIS ARMS ARE USED FOR HUGGING TOO

if a teammate is feeling down,, no worries,, Pesci is here to comfort

NOW LETS GET TO THE ROMANCE

He wouldn’t let you lift a finger.

LIKE HE WOULD LITERALLY OF ALL THE HEAVY LIFTING TBH

Yes, he will give you piggy back rides

Yes, he will also cuddle you when you’re cold

HE IS JUST,,, SO HAPPY TO HAVE A PARTER,, HE DOESN’T CARE ABT ANYTHING ELSE

HE JUST WANTS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

You think you weigh too much? It’s okay, pesci will carry you around to make you feel better

Some guy is staring at you? No worries, Pesci is right behind you making sure to let the guy know you guys are couple

He’s so,, ASJHDFJSHFSDHFSH I LOVE HIM

Like,, hes so intimadating but so cute :’>

guys literally ask abt pesci all you want he totally isnt my favorite la squadra member hgn,,fhgfngh,,,