#the person said they thought the show was so-so? not sure they'd recommend??

[barrowsteeth]

*

[sammythelibrarian]

Just some spoilery and messy thoughts on the boy and the heron

One thing I love about The Boy and the Heron is that Mahito is never mean or rude to Natsuko? He's cold, yes. A bit standoffish, sure. Visibly trying to cope with horrific circumstances, absolutely.

But he never calls her out on her "new mother" comment, he never makes faces behind her back, he's not trying to drive a wedge between her and his father.

And it wouldn't have been awful if he had. A lot of his actions are driven by the norms of the time period (his father and Natsuko are smart for marrying, for keeping everything within the family, for not introducing Mahito to a stranger) and the expected showings of respect to ones own family and yadaydaya, but a grieving kid acting out still would have been fine to a modern audience. But he didn't take his feelings out on her. He didn't particularly care for his aunt/step-mom but he didn't (visibly) blame her even when he struggled.

And when she (seemed like) she needed help, he went to help her anyway. And I think that's just nice to see for once.

I'm not a big fan of BuT FaMiLY as a concept (in fact, I heavily recommend pruning the family tree whenever you feel like it!) but I am a big fan of trying your hardest not to take out your valid but complicated feelings on those around you.

Also a big fan of having a look at a situation and decide you will help this person out, even if you don't like them. Not being liked by me is not a crime, so time to go adventuring.

And to me, while the scene in the birthing chamber has some layers I haven't quite figured out yet, Mahito's acceptance of her there comes from the fact that he's had time to breathe. It's not as sudden as it seems.

Away from Tokyo, from his new home, from his father, from his new mother, from everything, his focus is forced to shift. Suddenly he's attacked by birds! On a boat! Gutting fish? His mini-mom's there now, surely this won't affect the way he grieves at all.

Anyway, I think that after all of that it's easier for him to out Natsuko into perspective. All she (has shown she) wants to do is care for her sister's son, her own future kid, her husband and her home. She's been nothing but nice to him and shouldn't that merit something in return?

Not in the "forced by society" way, but in the self-reflection sort of way. Mahito owes it to her and himself to give her a chance to take on this new role in his life. His mother's not coming back either way, but here is her sister willing to love him like her anyway. (and hate him but like I said, layers I'm still struggling to make semi-coherent to myself. I have some ideas)

Here's a story of a boy who's gone through some unimaginable trauma leaving relative safety behind to go rescue his new step-mother that he doesn't even like, only to eventually realize that they'd both be better off emotionally if she's given a chance to be there for him.

She's the first to protect him from the Heron, too, I just realized. He gets the idea of using a bow from her. She's already passing things on to him even before they become mother and son.

Anyway this got way longer than I thought it'd be (I was just going to note down some random ideas) and I'm not sure how much sense it makes but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've seen a lot of people talking about the themes of this movie, but not many seem to be touching on the relationship between these two (except for talk of the birthing room scene).

One final thought: obviously he has some Issues with fire after the opening of the movie, but by the end it's become Himi's visual (the fire is his mom). Just like how he struggles with Natsuko, but in the end she's become his mom too. Cheesy phrasing? Maybe

[logosbot-tm-fics]

Grumbo enjoyers! I've posted a new fic! It's a steampunk boatem au that currently lacks Impulse as he hasn't joined the team yet. He will show up later on.

Also, if you like Scar, he has a rather important role in this one, and will have that in the future

You can either read it here or on Ao3

Ready to Leap

With a grunt, Mumbo took his seat in the grand circle of the  theater, and looked over at Iskall. He hadn't been to the theater in a good while, it was just too expensive for him nowadays, and unlike what people seemed to believe, being an inventor in their current climate wasn't particularly profitable. 

Not when the big companies were selling similar products at a cheaper price, pumping out patents at twice the rate that he could on his own. Sure, they weren't as good or as developed, but that was never the focus of corporations these days – profit was the only thing on their mind.

Not to mention they were notoriously willing to steal ideas, or hire inventors and then leave them in the dust the moment that the work was complete. Something that independent inventors didn't do. They all had too much pride in their own work, Mumbo included. 

"So, who's this friend you'd like to introduce me to?" Mumbo asked curiously, folding his hands in his lap. 

Iskall smiled back at him. The two of them had been collaborators for a good while now, and Iskall had recently mentioned that there was a business opportunity they'd been offered that might be more fitting for Mumbo. They'd said they had to turn it down because their wedding date was coming up. Apparently, it involved a lot of travel and they preferred to be able to return home to Stress at the end of the day. Mumbo could understand that, though he had no such reservations. Maybe that’s why Iskall thought to recommend him. 

"You'll see,” they said ominously. “But first, let us enjoy this performance. It's free after all." 

Mumbo nodded in response. "Alright." 

Then, the lights in the audience dipped and the music began to play, something jazzy and upbeat, easily fitting for a cabaret, or a burlesque performance. Wait, was that what they were here to see? 

"Wait, Iskall, is this a bru-" Mumbo was about to ask, but was interrupted by Iskall hushing him. 

"Shh, it's starting!" They hissed, and Mumbo had no choice but to turn his attention to the stage as the curtains opened. 

From behind red, velvet drapery  stepped a person dressed in a gorgeous pink gown, covered in glittering rhinestones. Their blonde hair looked like gold, shimmering in the stage lights. 

Immediately, Mumbo knew who it was. It was someone he hadn't expected to ever see again, much less in this scenario. Actually, seeing him in this scenario might be the last place Mumbo would have ever guessed.

"Grian?" He whispered, surprised to see his long lost friend.  

Wide-eyed and disbelieving, he turned to look at Iskall next to him, and despite the darkness, Mumbo was certain that he could see them grinning.

~

"What did you think?" Iskall asked as the pair of them settled in at the bar during the interval, handing Mumbo a glass of champagne that was already paid for by whoever had invited them. 

Mumbo took the glass, sipping the sparkling drink. "Well, considering I've never seen a burlesque performance before-" He began, as he felt his cheeks heat up. "I'd say this one is jolly good so far.." 

Iskall smiled knowingly back at him. "You’re sure it’s just a good performance? You seem to be enjoying yourself quite a lot."

"I mean- wait, what's that supposed to mean?" Mumbo asked, feeling flustered. 

"Oh, nothing! I just think you might be a tad bit partial." They responded with a shrug. 

"Iskall, that was ages ago. I genuinely-"

"Ah, good people, there you are! I've been looking for you everywhere! You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find someone in this crowd," a tall man said, effectively interrupting their conversation.  

He wore a top hat and a well tailored suit, one which put Mumbo's well-worn suit to shame. It was the nicer one out of the two he owned - the other one was patched up, and had a few stains from grease and oil. He wore it on the daily, determined to look as put together as he could, but… well, it’s not like he could afford much more.

"Scar!" Iskall said, immediately heading over to him, greeting him with a half hug.

Scar. Now that was a name Mumbo had heard before. "Scar? Scar Goodtimes? This is the friend you wanted to introduce me to? The one with the business opportunity?" Mumbo asked, feeling tricked. 

Scar Goodtimes was a rather well known conman, known for tricking people, and making them loose a lot of money. 

"The one and only!" Scar replied, tipping his hat in Mumbo’s direction. "It seems that my reputation precedes me!" He smiled, something wide and confident, the type that could fool you into believing almost anything. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Mumbo whispered into Iskall's ear as discreetly as he could, the room too loud for Scar to hear. 

"I'm sure that you'll like the offer," Iskall replied, whispering as well. It was said with such conviction that Mumbo almost wanted to believe them.

Almost.

Scar just leaned on his cane as he watched the two of them talk amongst themselves, impressively unphased by the whole display. 

"Well,” he nodded matter-of-factly, “Why don’t you tell me when you're done whispering secrets, and I'll show you to the dressing room so that we can discuss this properly!"

"Ah- don't worry, we're done. Lead the way!" Iskall cheered. 

Mumbo was about to protest, but as the other two began to walk away, he had no choice but to follow. 

This almost certainly would end up as a catastrophe. 

~

"What did you think of the show?" Scar asked when they were in the dressing room. 

The walls were red, with a big vanity mirror on one side, outlined in lights bright enough to illuminate the whole room. On racks around the room, costumes were hanging, each of them extraordinary and some bedazzled, and one of the walls was covered in a variety of masks, some simple and others intricately painted. 

"It was wonderful," Iskall replied politely, and Mumbo nodded in agreement. He didn't have much more to add. 

"That warms my heart, Grian sure is an extraordinary performer," Scar replied, and headed over to a table in the corner of the room. "Whiskey, anyone?" He asked, beginning to pour some for himself in a lowball glass. 

"Yes, please," Iskall said. 

"Uh, yes. Thank you," Mumbo agreed as well. 

"Ice?" Scar gestured towards the ice bucket with the glass. "Feel free to take a seat as well, no need to stand up."

"Oh! Thank you. Yeah, I'd like some," Iskall replied, taking a seat in one of the armchairs in the room that had a small table in front. 

Mumbo sat down in another one, sinking down into the soft cushion. "I'd prefer it neat, actually," He said with a nervous chuckle. 

Scar didn’t seem to notice, laughing good-heartedly at Mumbo’s request. "Oh, so do I! I can already tell that we're going to become very good friends indeed." He placed the glasses in front of them with a flourish, before taking his own and sitting down as well. "Now, Mumbo, I have a proposal-" 

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Grian suddenly burst into the dressing room, his costume in his arms, dressed in a floor length robe. 

"God, my legs are killing me!" He exclaimed, dropping the costume on the vanity table. He bent down and began to undo his heels. "I suppose the price I pay, I chose to do this, but God! High heels sure are a pain to wear! I swear, next time I'm just gonna wear work boots instead. It'll ruin the aesthetic, but I'm so tired of heels!" He complained, throwing his shoes on top of the costume before spinning around to face the rest of the room. "Anyway, hi Scar!" 

He hadn't seemed to fully notice the guests yet, or he simply didn't care. He marched over to Scar and placed a kiss on his cheek, leaving a lipstick mark behind. 

Mumbo tried his best to ignore the sting of jealousy that shot through him at that. 

"Hello, my star," Scar replied, smiling at Grian. "We've got guests." He gestured to the other two with a smirk. 

Grian looked almost bashful as he turned away from Scar, acknowledging his guests for the first time since entering the room. "Oh, hi! I'm-" 

He stopped when he saw Mumbo, eyes widening in recognition. Then, his gaze flickered to Iskall, and Mumbo watched on as Grian visibly paled. It wasn't a surprise that he took longer to recognise Iskall than Mumbo -- after all, Mumbo practically looked the same, but Iskall had gained scars and a bionic eye in the time that had passed -- but he couldn't deny wishing that Grian's eyes had lingered on him for longer.

"Hi," Mumbo greeted awkwardly, whiskey glass in his hand. 

The air in the room was slightly stuffy and uncomfortable, and Mumbo felt his grip tightening under the strange atmosphere. It was quiet, awkward, until Iskall finally pointed at Scar and Grian, bursting out with, "Forgive me for being impolite, but are you two-?" 

They let the others fill the silence, and Mumbo was suddenly slightly tempted to chuck his drink in their face. 

Thankfully, Scar only laughed. "Together?" He shook his head. 

"Goodness, no," Grian laughed as well. "No, no. Not at all." He headed over to the chair in front of the vanity mirror. "We're just friends, nothing more. Besides, he's basically my boss, it would make it a bit awkward if we were together." He began to remove the makeup he was wearing as he spoke, wiping at his eyes with professional efficiency. 

Mumbo couldn't deny the wave of relief he felt when they denied being in a relationship. 

"Oh, but I'm a good boss, aren't I?" Scar asked, slightly teasingly as he smiled at Grian. 

Grian shrugged. "The best. Never had a better boss." He replied sarcastically, removing his earrings and necklace, placing them in an ornate box. "Though, I must say, you earn most of those points by paying well." 

Scar shook his head, smiling fondly. "Anyway, back to business," he returned his attention to Iskall and Mumbo. "Now, we unfortunately don't have much time to talk, so here's the deal." He said, his tone shifting into something business-like and serious. 

It was a stark contrast to his previous easygoing, silly and happy demeanour, and Mumbo found himself caught a little off-guard. It was frightening almost, how quickly he could change personality. 

Scar continued, "I need someone who's good with technology, gadgets and such. From what I know, you two are some of the best in this city, and I'd love to employ one of you." 

Grian let out a mock offended gasp. "You need someone better than me? What a shocker," He was now standing up, robe dropped on the floor as he began to dress himself. 

Even if Mumbo tried, he was only listening half heartedly to what Scar said, far too much attention stuck on Grian dressing. Though, it wasn't for the reason one might believe. 

No, he was stuck staring at two scars on Grian's back, right where his wings were supposed to be. What had happened to them? What had happened to him? Why hadn't Mumbo heard anything from him until now? 

No one else seemed put off by those raised pink lines, continuing on like Mumbo’s world wasn’t spinning on its axis.

"Grian, I love you, but you're God awful at anything that isn't explosives, and even those are questionable at best," Scar joked, rolling his eyes. 

Grian crossed his arms as he turned around. "How dare you? They're top tier, thank you very much. You could never." He saw Mumbo staring, and winked at him.

Mumbo quickly averted his eyes, feeling a blush spread over his face. He returned his attention to Scar.

Scar let out a chuckle, sliding back into his showman persona with ease. "You're right, I couldn't most certainly couldn’t. Which is why I need to employ one of our lovely guests!" 

It was fascinating to see the shift in personality. It was like flipping a light switch, the difference between them was day and night. Mumbo couldn't help but to find himself slightly entranced by the man, he wanted to know what made Scar tick. 

"If I say yes – I’m not saying that I will, but if I do – what will that mean for me?" He asked, sipping some of his whiskey. It was very high quality, the taste full-bodied and smooth, with the deep and smokey tone Mumbo enjoyed. It couldn't have been cheap. 

"Well, you'd be employed within my company full time, and paid quite handsomely for all of your hard work. You'd have a permanent place to stay, and complete access to any and all materials that you could need for your projects. I'm more than willing to invest in you, I know that you’re experts in your field.” Scar scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly, “Plus, truth be told, I'm a bit desperate for someone who can get the job done!" 

The list of benefits was impressive, but – well, Mumbo had worked for himself for so long. The idea of working under a parent company, one of the very things he’s hated in the industry for so long, was certainly an uneasy thought.

Mumbo took a moment to mull  it over, leaning back in his armchair as he ran through Scar’s promises in his mind. "What's the catch?" 

Scar sighed. "I figured you'd ask that, you’re a smart man, after all." He took a long sip of his own whiskey, before admitting, "You see, Mumbo, what we're doing isn't exactly legal."

Grian laughed, whether at the words or Mumbo’s shocked face, the man wasn’t sure. 

"Ha! Not exactly legal is an understatement, it's straight up illegal,” Grian smirked. “Speaking of which, we have to hurry up. Time’s running out." He worked on buttoning his shirt quickly, nudging Scar with his elbow. "Scar, come on, get changed." 

"Alright, alright. Calm down, mister!" Scar stood up and began to change clothes as well, though he just replaced his jacket with a burgundy one instead of a black one, and switched his waistcoat for an identical green piece. 

"I'm so sorry to cut this short, but we're in a bit of a rush," Scar explained, as he took off his hat. "You wouldn't mind giving me that hat box?" He pointed at a hatbox on the shelf beside Iskall. 

"Sure." Iskall replied with a shrug, doing as they were asked and passing the box over. "Here."

"Ah, thank you." He took out a burgundy hat that perfectly matched his waistcoat and his jacket, bringing the outfit together into another gorgeous combination that – quite frankly – Mumbo found himself jealous of. He was so caught up in wishing that he too could own such a fine suit, that he jumped as Scar addressed him. 

"So, what do you say, Mr. Jumbo?" 

Mumbo was suddenly made aware that he never introduced himself.He wondered if perhaps Iskall had told Scar his name? Or maybe Scar had done his own research to make sure he knew who he would be offering a job?

"I-"

Then, the door flung open, and a woman was stood in the doorway. 

"Scar! Grian! We have to go!” Grian's younger sister, Pearl, yelled her wings wide open behind her. “The engine is running, the cops have shown up, and the guests have figured out that this event wasn't free." 

"Dang it!" Grian exclaimed, speeding up his movements. 

"Oh whoops!" Scar began to move quickly too, stuffing seemingly random things into a bag placed on the floor. "We'll be right outside in a second, just stay in the corridor and keep watch, okay?"

"Got it!" Pearl replied and disappeared. 

Mumbo hadn't seen her in ages either, as she had vanished at the same time Grian had. What had happened to the two of them? Why did she still have her wings intact, whilst Grian didn't? 

"Grian, pack your stuff, we have to go." Scar yelled, picking up the bottle of whiskey from the table. 

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Grian shouted back, frantically putting his things away. 

"Wait, what did she mean not free?" Mumbo asked, only then registering what Pearl had said. "Did you know about this?" He asked Iskall. 

Iskall nodded. "I did, but it actually was free for us. Don’t worry about it, Mumbo." 

"They're right." Scar said as he tossed a shoe over his shoulder, digging through a pile of clothes. "It was free for you, but no one else."

Mumbo turned back to Scar with a questioning look. 

"You see-" Scar stood up straight, staring at Mumbo as he spoke. "This whole thing was a set up." 

"What?" Mumbo asked. 

Scar shrugged, instantly snapping out of his serious attention to the discussion, continuing to dart around the room, somehow calm despite the pace he was moving at. "Basically, we invited the socialites-"

"-said that the event was free-" Grian continued. 

"-got them all to show up-" Scar said. 

"-and whilst the performance was happening-" Grian snapped his briefcase closed.

"-Pearl and some people we hired, robbed their vaults at the bank." Scar finished, finally closing his bag as well and hauling it over his shoulder with a grunt.

"I'm leaving, see you on the zeppelin, Scar." Grian said, who was now standing in the doorway, fully dressed with his briefcase in hand. 

"Good, I'll be right behind you." Scar replied, smiling at him. 

"I'm sorry we didn't get to speak more, Mumbo. I've missed you." Grian said to Mumbo.

Mumbo looked at him, wanting to say something. "Grian, I-" 

But it was too late, Grian had already turned tail and sprinted away, the doorway now empty.

"Well, I'm really am sorry we had to end the meeting like this, for what it’s worth. But time is ticking and if I don't leave, I'll end up in jail. Which I'd rather avoid, considering that they haven't caught me yet." Scar said, grabbing his cane and placing it beneath his arm. "Pleasure doing business with you, shame we didn't get the time to come to an agreement." 

Mumbo felt his heart pounding in his chest as Scar spun on his heel, making his way towards the door just as quickly as Grian had. It had been a good offer, he needed the money, his business was bound to fail, and he could really use access to more materials. That, and he had missed Grian a lot, he- 

He stood up, not giving his decision any more thought. 

"Wait!" Mumbo yelled to Scar, effectively stopping him dead in his tracks. 

Scar turned around, something expectant on his features. "Yes?" He replied with a charming smile. 

"I'll take the offer." Mumbo replied. He knew that it was risky, but- it just didn’t feel right to let him leave like this. He needed to see Grian again, to talk to him properly, just like old times.

"Amazing!" Scar exclaimed cheerfully. "Better get a wiggle on then, we have to dash! Just go up the stairs to the roof, we'll try to wait for you. Say goodbye to Iskall, but don't take too long." He stepped out of the room. "Pearl, let's go!" He yelled down the corridor, before running off as well, Pearl following closely behind. 

Mumbo breathed in, his hands shaking where they hung at his sides, and turned to face Iskall. "I- I guess this is goodbye then." 

Iskall stood up as well. "Seems like it," they said, pulling Mumbo into a tight hug. "Stay safe."

Mumbo laughed, hugging back. "I will." He promised. 

They only stayed like that for a moment before Iskall pulled away, giving him a smile. Something that looked oddly proud. 

"I'll see you some other time." They said. "Now, run." 

And Mumbo didn't need to be told twice. 

~

It was surprisingly easy to find his way from the dressing room to the stairwell, and soon he was standing on the theater’s roof, a zeppelin anchored in front of him with Scar standing next to it. 

"There you are!" He exclaimed. "I almost thought you changed your mind!" 

"Not quite yet, mate," Mumbo replied, a smile on his lips. 

Scar tossed his head back in an exaggerated guffaw, "Ah, that's amazing! Climb on board, I'll be right behind you, I just want to make sure that you get on board without falling off."

Mumbo nodded, feeling slightly anxious about climbing the ladder that was shaking in the wind.

His palms were sweaty as he approached, the wind truly beginning to buffet around him as he got closer to the open air. He looked down, and- couldn't move. It was a big drop down to the street below them, at least three stories off the ground, and he'd really rather not fall off. 

"Well?" Scar asked, holding onto the ladder.

He allowed himself a second, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in, before Mumbo steeled himself and reached out a hand. Climbing the ladder, being aboard the zeppelin, those were things he’d have to get used to. Those were worth it, if it meant he got to see Grian again. 

Mumbo gripped the ladder and began to climb, keeping his sight on the even handholds above him. The climb was shaky, he truly believed he was about to fall off multiple times throughout it, but Mumbo eventually got to the top. He finally swung his legs over the side, feet touching a wooden floor, and barely a second passed before he was sinking down to the floor, shaking with anxiety from the long climb. 

Scar showed up moments after, and he only spared Mumbo a short glance before beginning to haul up the ladder behind them. 

"You came!" Grian exclaimed, running across the floor of the ship, throwing himself at Mumbo. "Oh god, I've missed you so much." He whispered, clinging onto Mumbo, as if he was scared of what might happen if he dared to let go. 

Mumbo hugged him just as tightly in reply, allowing himself to breathe in Grian's scent. It wasn’t as familiar as it used to be - hee smelled like flowers, no doubt from a perfume he'd begun to use at some point - but there was some undeniably recognisable smell that still remained underneath it. "I've missed you too." Mumbo sighed softly, happy to have his friend his arms. 

"Well, lovebirds, I seem to have missed the fact that you knew each other," Scar cooed, standing right next to them. 

Grian looked up at him. "No, you didn't.  I know you, you don't miss stuff like that," he replied. 

"You're right, I didn't, but it would've been funny," he smiled, then turned to look back down at the roof.

Grian stood up, holding out a hand for Mumbo. 

Mumbo took it immediately, feeling an urge to hold onto Grian as much as possible. "Thank you," he said gratefully. 

"Anytime," Grian replied, pulling Mumbo to his feet and not wasting any second before wrapping an arm around his waist. "You used me as bait, didn't you?" He asked Scar, brows furrowing.

Scar shrugged casually. "I might've," he admitted, still looking at the roof. "But that’s not important anymore, because - would you look at that! We were right on time." 

Grian and Mumbo peered over the edge together, looking down upon a group of cops as they began to flood onto the roof. They had managed to escape just in time. If they had been a second later, they would've been arrested.  

"Oh," Mumbo breathed, suddenly feeling a tad faint. 

Scar smiled at him. "Well then," he said, and held out his hand. "Welcome abord HMS Boatem! We hope that you enjoy your stay!"

Mumbo reached out a wobbly hand to shake, as Grian giggled next to him. "T-thank you," Mumbo stammered, as it finally began to set in just what he'd just agreed to. 

There was no going back now. 

He couldn't really say that he minded it, though. Not when the view of the city was that gorgeous, the sun slowly setting. Not when he could feel the wind blowing in his hair, Grian's arm wrapped around his waist. Not when he had finally found Grian again. 

If he was honest with himself, he was actually looking forward to seeing where this would take him, what his future would be like.

It all felt rather exciting.  

"Time to leave!" Scar said. "I'm going to tell Pearl to start driving, feel free to do anything your heart desires in the meantime."

Mumbo nodded in response, watching as he left with Grian at his side all the while. 

The two of them turned back to watch the sunset as it painted the sky in shades of yellow and red, a gorgeous inkstained canvas that felt as though it stretched out forever. 

"It's gorgeous." Mumbo whispered, afraid to break the moment between them. It felt strangely intimate and frail, like the illusion might shatter if he spoke too loudly. 

"Yeah," Grian breathed an equally quiet response. They stood in silence for a little while, Grian leaning against Mumbo, simply allowing themselves to be pushed to and fro by the wind. 

When the ship eventually began to move - after what could have been seconds or hours - Grian removed his arm from Mumbo's waist and entwined their fingers together. His hand was warm, and it fit against Mumbo’s own like a matching puzzle piece.

"Come on, I'll show you to your room," he said, beginning to tug Mumbo away from the edge of the ship.

Mumbo followed, their fingers knitted together all the while.

[violet-jessop]

i had my first therapy session today.

90 minutes with a psychologist who i'm booked to see once a week for the next 5 weeks.

a friend asked me if i was nervous last night when i told her, and i had to think on it. i found i wasn't. it was strange because logically i think i should have been, but i couldn't muster any real feelings about it. i felt indifferent. resigned.

i know that's probably not what she wanted to hear, but i think lying in this instance would have just given her false hope.

to get to this point has been such a shit show.

self harming since a decade ago this year, suicidal on and off for at least for the last eight. tried to seek help in 2019 only to get put on 10 times the starting dose of some random antidepressant and told to fuck off with no follow up and automatically renewing prescriptions. stopped taking those after a year or so with no real improvement. things have just steadily declined.

last year was okay, probably the most okay i've felt for an extended period since 2014. but now it's almost worse because i saw it could be okay, and now it's not again.

finding a psych that met my needs was near on impossible. my only two criteria were trans (or just a queer person who i could feel like less of a freak with) and able to deal with SI - and that left me with one option via telehealth. booked in to do a 15 minute consultation with her she was 30 minutes late to the session, so i assumed i'd been forgotten. then when she eventually called she didn't even acknowledge it.

getting the mental health care plan from my GP was so degrading. i went to a different doc because i didn't trust the last guy who is just so happy to write prescriptions. but the new guy was no better. clearly thought i didn't need any of this, wrote maybe 2 lines on the mhcp documents, left most of it blank, didn't even bother to sign it. said he performed the k10 which he didn't. straight up wrote that i seemed fine based on "good eye contact and engages well". and he never even sent it to the identity clinic, i had to chase him to obtain a copy so i could send it off myself.

and today rolls around. we have our session. what was supposed to cost me 134 out of pocket cost me 250 unexpectedly, so after the appointment they had to call me several times because my account had insufficient funds because i only had enough for what they'd told me it would cost.

in the session she misgendered me. she said "as a woman with autism. oh, i assume you're she/her right?". which was wild as a psych who works for the "identity clinic" - where i had to fill in a million forms that included my pronouns in multiple places. where i had sent an inquiry to find out if they had anyone on staff who would suit a non-binary person with SI. and then the SI, where i mentioned it as something i'd like to work through, and she pretty much told me if i talk about that sort of stuff in a non-joking way she'll have to make sure i'm institutionalised. so i had to play it off as a joke. as hyperbole. the two things, such basic things i thought. so what am i here for again? is what's wrong with me so taboo i can't even pay a medical professional $250 to let me speak about it? is my soul so putrid? if anyone ever tries to force me into inpatient i'll put on a pine overcoat as soon as possible, that's not up for debate.

so we talked about other things, and i cried in front of another person for the first time in ages and it wasn't even cathartic it was just for the shame of admitting my failings out loud. and she told me maybe my anxiety is just autistic meltdown which i know isn't right, i know the difference. she walked me through diaphragmatic breathing like i was 5. she recommended i buy airpods and try burlesque. it reminded me of Jo telling me i should try drumming circles around the time of my first attempt.

so i suppose i was right in feeling indifferent. i had enough hope left to try, but not enough to be hopeful. i really don't have the energy to go through this all again. time is ticking down, 128 weeks at best. i suppose i'll give her another two sessions and see. but if she doesn't work out i think that's me done. how many times am i expected to try? it was already mortifying enough. i know Tal will be angry, but i just don't have it in me to keep doing this over and over. every failed attempt at getting better just adds more weight, reaffirms what i already suspected.

and the statistics of it. either i've encountered consistently bad medical practitioners OR the problem lies with me. at this point statistically it has to be me, there's just been too many failings. especially when i see so many friends drive the same road without issue. yet i keep hitting roadblock after roadblock. at what point do i just acknowledge that i'm a bad driver? maybe it's been roadblock after roadblock because there's nothing else, there is no good ending. i shouldn't be on the road to begin with.

[ineffable-baker-street]

based on david bowie's song 'love you till tuesday, because it is literally them. listen while reading, there's matching lines 🤍

"Just look through your window

look who sits outside

little me is waiting

standing through the night..."

Crowley laid back against the branch he was currently lounging on, continuing to sing softly. Aziraphale was late. Again.

The angel had an annoyingly common habit of showing up late, and considering this had been his idea several hundred years ago, Crowley thought it rather inconsiderate.

Aziraphale had suggested one night back somewhere in the 1500's that they revisit the place in which they'd become cautious acquaintances all those thousands of years ago. For old time's sake.

Technically speaking they weren't exactly allowed in the garden, after the whole Adam and Eve debacle, as well as that nonsense with the flaming sword. However Aziraphale had suggested that, as an Angel, he couldn't really be banished from the most sacred place on earth, and that they were just there to reminisce, nothing devious or anything of the sort. Crowley, delighted by Aziraphale's definitely grey-shaded mischief, and never one to turn down a wicked plan, had promptly agreed.

Therefore, for the sixth time in the last 500 years, Crowley found himself perched on the branch of an apple tree in the centre of the Garden of Eden.

And he was growing steadily more impatient by the minute.

"Crowley? Where are you?" the cautious voice of Aziraphale called out.

Finally.

"Hello... Crowley??" Aziraphale's voice sounded again, closer this time and pitched higher with concern.

Crowley swung his legs over the side and jumped down, landing half a foot in front of Aziraphale, and making him jump just as high.

"Don't be afraid, it's only me," Crowley grinned at the scandalised face of Aziraphale.

"Don't do that Crowley," Aziraphale huffed, breath rather shorter than usual. "You know how I hate to be frightened."

"Oh of course I do Angel," Crowley said, his eyes glinting as he removed his dark glasses. Those eyes, the only permanently serpentine part of him, were always cunning, always up to no good.

"I'm so very sorry I was late," Aziraphale began, accompanied by frantic pacing. "There was a customer in the bookshop who was very persistent, and kept asking all these questions and wanting my best recommendations, oh and! can you believe, they wanted to purchase my original, personally signed copy of Pride and Prejudice. I mean... really?! Have you ever heard such a thing Crowley? Jane hand-delivered that to my door for Heaven's sake, of course it isn't for sale, and then they finally left and I... what?" Aziraphale stopped his pacing as he glanced at Crowley, only to be met with a fond smile he was not the slightest bit accustomed to seeing on the demon's face.

"Oh nothing, carry on," Crowley said, waving a hand and putting his sunglasses back on in a hurry. A not-so-subtle attempt to hide his expression.

"Tell me!"

"It's nothing Aziraphale, continue with your John or Janet or whoever story," Crowley insisted, folding his arms and leaning back against the tree.

"Well now, you know perfectly well it's Jane, and stop trying to distract me," Aziraphale said with a huff. "Now tell me what you were thinking about."

"Oh alright alright!" Crowley pushed off the tree and held his hands up in the air.

Aziraphale waited expectantly.

"It's- it's just that, well, I was, well- I was thinking about that day in the garden. In this garden." Crowley began, and Aziraphale was bewildered at the tightness of his voice.

"Yes?"

"Well just about you... and- and me..."

Oh no. Surely he wasn't doing what Aziraphale thought he was doing. Not here, not right now, he wasn't prepared for this.

"And, well, and, and I- I um- ARGH WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!?"

"What is so hard Crowley??" Aziraphale asked, his own voice now thickening with the onslaught of tears. This was most certainly forbidden, they should not be discussing this. Not now. Not here. Not anywhere, but certainly not in the birthplace of humanity.

"We- we can't..." Aziraphale continued when Crowley didnt speak. "This isn't, we can't, it's not right! I'm an angel, and you're a demon and we can't-"

"I was very lonely till I met you on Sunday," Crowley interrupted, looking through his glasses at Aziraphale.

"You- what? What Sunday?"

"It's a line. From a song. You wouldn't know it, bebop and all that," Crowley said, waving his hand impatiently.

"But I was. Very lonely. Until I met you," he continued haltingly, taking his glasses off again, and looking at Aziraphale, directly into his eyes.

Aziraphale sighed, and covered his face with his hands despairingly. This was forbidden in every book to ever exist in Heaven and Hell, every rule, every warning, they were under no false impressions that a demon and an angel were permitted to fraternise, let alone anything else. And then Aziraphale made his choice.

"Well," Aziraphale began, clasping his hands just below his chin. "I hear the world is supposed to end sometime on a Tuesday, in several billion years," he continued, glancing away and then back at Crowley, trying to disguise the smile that spread across his face.

"Did you- did you just reference my song to me?" Crowley asked, looking inordinately proud. " You did! I thought it was all 'bebop'? What about all your classical rubbish?" he said, smile turning delighted as Aziraphale shuffled and shrugged.

"Well I just thought, couldn't be so bad. If you like it. Though I suppose that would make it just so wouldn't it?" Aziraphale said with a chuckle.

"And you mean that do you?" Crowley asked suddenly, ignoring the joke, desperation coating his voice "What you just said? Do you know what you just said? Because if you don't you better tell me right n-"

"Yes. I know what I said, and I meant what I said. I've always known and I will always mean it, from now until, well, until Tuesday I suppose," Aziraphale grinned, pleased at his joke.

"Oh, shut up," Crowley said, grabbing the collar of Aziraphale's coat and dragging him in, their lips colliding and falling into rhythm with each other. It was like they had been molded at the beginning of time to one day fit together like this. It felt right. Aziraphale sank into the kiss, running his hands across the back of Crowley's jacket and pulling the demon in sharply, drawing him even closer, so close that the two fell back against the sacred tree, breaking apart for a moment of air.

"Maybe I'll stretch it to Wednesday," Crowley grinned, as he tightened his grip on the angel's collar and pulled him back in.

[hereforthefunnyguys]

Break down Anzu please 🥺🙏

O 1. How do I feel about this character?

Will not lie to you at first I didn't see all that special about her but still thought she was a fun addition to the friend group. Then I got on the Internet (bad idea wouldn't recommend it) and saw how much hate she got and was like Oh I See. It's my job to defend her forever since apparently nobody else will. Send my ass off to war for her.

I do really appreciate her and I wish people would take a minute to examine her character more (which, to be fair, they removed a lot of for the manga). Like. I especially relate to the way that she both obviously has so much ambition for the future and looks forward to her career as a dancer, but is still scared and sad about having to let go of the friends she's made over the years.

Also people make fun of her for being too wishy washy and "vulnerable" but the fact of the matter is that she's not prone to discussing her emotions with anyone else in the series at all. Like. The only reason people see her as emotional is because we're given a viewpoint into her thoughts. Jonouchi is more openly emotional than her. Honda is more emotional. People should try and learn how to actually read into her character instead of just assigning her the Generic Shonen Girl Personality and calling it a day.

2. All the people I ship romantically with this character:

There is a horrid dearth of proper yuri in yugioh, but! I like pairing her up with Mana (unrealistic and they are separated by 3000 years but! She will Fuck That Mummy (i just got a really really good idea for an au guys trust me)) just because I think they make an interesting hypothetical dynamic - honestly, I'd go the full mile of calling them kind of narrative foils, what with Anzu's responsibility vs. Mana's silliness, Mana being tutored by a mentor vs. Anzu being mostly self-taught and self-propelled, Mana not having much ambition for most of the Millennium World arc despite her position of power and privilege vs. Anzu scraping up from the bottom specifically because she has such an intense vision of what she wants her life to be. Really good potential there. Anyways continuing on

I think her and Miho seem cute but i gonna be real with you i have. Not seen a ton of season zero so I have no real frame of reference for what they'd be like. And manga miho seems a little quiet for anzus personality tbh she needs someone she can argue with lmao

On the het side I like her with Atem but not honestly much of anyone else. I thought her and him had a very sweet dynamic in the manga and I would have liked to see more of his thoughts about her since he seemed to enjoy her company, he just. Is not good at talking to people in general. Don't hit me with that "ackshually atem hates Anzu 🤓" Shit. They are friends. They like each other.

Also I hc that she was crushing on mai kujaku but i don't think she would've been happy if it was a serious relationship. It's just like. One of those crushes teenagers get on attractive adults that show them genuine respect for the first time ever you know?

3. My non-romantic OTP for this character is:

Her and Jonouchi are so funnyyyyyyy lmao. "JOSEPH WHEELER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" alright they seem like the perfect mix of stupid and stubborn that im sure can lead to them getting into all kind of dumb shit. Where's my au where they both get lost in the woods because Anzu said she knew where she was going and Jonouchi was too proud to check the map. Silly

4. My unpopular opinion about this character:

SHE! IS! NOT! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!! (rips shirt off and screams in rage) AND NO BEING YUGIS LOVE INTEREST IS NOT HER ONLY JOB IN THE STORY!!! SHE HAS A PERSONALITY BEYOND ANOTHER BOY'S CRUSH ON HER THAT SHE MAY OR MAY NOT RECIPROCATE!!!!

Really though she has such a strong personality if you set out to try and figure it out!! And she does play multiple roles beyond love interest and damsel in distress! She did a ton of stuff in the early manga and i still cannot believe people make fun of her for friendship speeches when they are obsessed with everyone else from hit series Yu-Gi-Oh, Friendship is Magic. She didn't even make that many speeches!!!!!

5. One thing I wished happened to this character in canon?

I wish we got to see more of her home life and her background since it feels like it has something going on back there, since she seems to be hustling for money in a way that tells me she mostly relies on herself for funds and support. Also I wish at least at some point she had gotten to tell Atem how she felt about him :( or at least resolved the plot point beyond "well I guess he's going so i have to cope"

anyways I LOVE HER A MILLION KISSES FOR ANZU MAZAKI

[thewertsearch]

Asks Comp 15/5

@manorinthewoods submitted: I believe I got confused about the omnipotence thing because I'd talked about it in some Discord server or other. My interpretation of the confusing usage of 'omnipotent' is that it specifically refers to any individual with the ability to exert unlimited power upon at least one individual. This allows for a system where one omnipotent can be more powerful than another, such as a Horrorterror being stronger than a First Guardian. [...] That's all I wanted to say.

The problem is that I don't really understand what it means to exert 'unlimited power' over someone.

Does it mean that you have full control over that person's actions? Or perhaps, the ability to change their nature in any way imaginable? Neither of these traits apply to First Guardians - their powers are centered around controlling space, not people.

Doc Scratch exerts power over Vriska, but his influence isn't absolute. If it was, she wouldn't have been able to use the cueball behind his back. Maybe I'm just misunderstanding what you mean by unlimited power.

Probably! There are already a lot of human/troll interactions going on, so their relationships will inevitably evolve.

I recommended a few webcomics last year. They're all decent theory-fodder, particularly Paranatural.

That said, none of them are as good as Homestuck at doing what Homestuck does. This is a very unique story, and I'm also not sure what, if anything, I'll liveblog after this is done. I'm certainly enjoying liveblogging, so there probably will be a next project - and I remain open to suggestions.

Dang it. Well, I'm still showing up in search, so at least I'm not shadowbanned this time. Maybe a glitch on your end?

I don't think you're wrong, exactly - but to be honest, there seems to be a bigger issue here than unreliable narration. I still have trouble understanding how any kismesissitude can be healthy.

The prophecy is true!

It's kind of cool that the kids' entire fortune is likely seeded from John's original stockpile. All that Grist we picked up in Act 2 actually went somewhere!

Oh, nice! I feel like there'd be too many combinations to effectively crowdsource, though, unless the pool of alchemy ingredients was extremely small. If you really wanted to implement alchemy in a game, it'd probably have to be at least partially procedural.

To be fair, I have to give credit to John on this one. Some of his funniest moments are when he's not trying to be a jokester.

I know! I probably wasn't clear enough about my question.

My question is whether the phrase 'the numerals of the blind prophets' is a reference all on its own. The phrase is a little out of left field, and the comic itself hasn't explained it.

Pretty sure John's has already been explained - he needs to wake his Denizen and save his fireflies!

As for Jade's, it's indeed hard to say. I thought they'd all be about terraforming, but Dave's seems to break this pattern. Maybe his Quest isn't what it seems - or maybe I was just wrong, and a Quest can be just about anything.

I don't think I'll be able to guess Jade's, since it'll involve the features of a Land we haven't yet seen. All I can say for sure is that it'll have something to do with Space.

Hell yes! This blog's hidden objective - to plug The Locked Tomb - is finally bearing fruit.

It's easy for Aradia to do what she does, because she ''knows'' that she could never have done anything else. 'Understanding' this lets her be reckless.

Once you can convince someone their choices don't matter, you can convince them to do whatever you want.

I prefer Prospit's aesthetics, but Derse's vibes. The Horrorterrors are a better suspicious patron than Skaia - at least they'll help me break the game.

That said, the official quiz assigned me Prospit. Maybe I misunderstand the moons - but from where I'm currently sitting, Derse is the better choice.

The question isn't whether Sburb would screw them over - it's how it would.

I like the idea that Sburb started with only Sprites, and slowly assimilated its victors into its later iterations.

Each Sburb species represents a video game trope, so I could see an aggressive species like the trolls as a border patrol. They're angry, aggressive NPCs who fly their warships around the Veil, making sure Players don't leave the session's boundaries. You're meant to avoid them, not fight them, and they're the bane of any Player who tries to get creative with the Furthest Ring.

Now, what kind of NPC would the humans be?

I'm not a fan of jumpscare horror, but psychological horror can be very interesting indeed.

I didn't expect the comedy meme man to be that good at instilling a sense of dread - but I shouldn't have been surprised. Horror and comedy tread a very fine line.

Thank you!!

This frame in particular is pretty unsettling. Jack never usually shows this much emotion, and you have to wonder if the Ring has gone to his head a little.

Anyway, if we're talking about aesthetics, my favorite area so far is the Battlefield. It's like a chessboard mixed with a Windows XP background, and it's gorgeous in Rise Up.

Neither have been used in the comic, so I'm just going with lusi for convenience's sake!

[sapphic-agent]

Will work on my Izuocha ask. But here lets talk about Momo. She had a powerful OP quirk and so much potential but is shafted bc she has to be Mineta's target and also an "eye candy" for the fans. I say this as there many, many nsfw works of Momo where...well you get the gist.

1) Momo can create anything as long she can visualize in her mind. She could have been s great ally and friend to Izu as I think she would have to analyse her quirk (would be nice Izu having someone who does analyses too and isnt seen as "creepy")

2) Momo is rich. Extremely so, so why is she a hero? I know is an unfair question as we dont even get the answer for the mc(yes we got a generic "I want to help" but like come on this could have been more explored). But like if she is not doing for the money...then why? What is the endgoal? "I want to be a hero bc...bc!" Every kid, to me, seems to just want to be a hero bc yes (makes make me think: is the mkt in this world is that strong?)

3) Why she is wearing that uniform? While I get the intention of Izu having a costume that is "cosplay for poor" Why Momo used that? Did someone made her mind?(can see Midnight here but I admit I prefer her as a dark figure rather "she is the best woman on earth") like I know Hori did for fanservice but is a fanservice that hurts the character

4) is it canon she has meet Shoto before? Fanon seems to say in fics "Momo and Shoto are rich kids friends" which I mean, make sense as she is a heir (we dont even know what her family does) I ask this bc...IF this is true, did Momo had any positive thought about Endy?

5) Her quirk is super OP...and while I dont think she needs a quirk awaken I do think she, a minor in possession of such quirk needed more protection ...which makes me think if she was to have protection...would be bc of her op quirk or money?

1. I would love to see Yaoyorozu and Izuku interact more! I think they'd mesh well, especially since they're both intellectual people. Could have made for some fun scenes.

2. Yes, she needs a goal! Some have brought up that she could be the result of a successful quirk marriage that wasn't as abusive or dysfunctional as the Todorokis and tbh I think that's my headcanon now. They do imply that every kid wants to be a hero, but the kind of person she is I feel like it should go behind childhood dreams.

3. According to Horikoshi, this was Yaomomo's decision. Apparently, she wanted to show even more skin to make her quirk more accessible, but they restricted her (realistically, it's Hori being a perv). The theme of her suit is supposed to be "functionality" I'm guessing due to the kind of person she is. But the way her costume is, is more of a hindrance than a help. I said this to @anti-katsuki-lounge but she has no chest protection and the bookcase on her back could easily break her spine if she falls on it. I also always thought it would have made more sense for her to have an open back instead of an open chest since her back would be bigger space than her chest and she ends up ripping her shirt to make things out of her back anyway.

4. Yeah fanon is gonna have to take the L here. It's implied that Todoroki was completely isolated. Endeavor didn't even let him see his sibling let alone other kids. I'm almost sure he was homeschooled and even if he wasn't, Izuku was his first friend. And him and Yaomomo don't act like they knew each other beforehand, at most they knew of each other because of the recommendation exam.

5. Yes her quirk is super OP. Tbh, what would a quirk awakening for her even look like?

[janaknandini-singh999]

Chapter 3:

"Oye, Shlokaa! Villu's saying that there are wayy more people here today than there were during the shaadi. I mean, of course the food is better and it just proves that we all attend like besharam to only eat! Anyway, I'll just greet them with Vilasini and apologize for not being present on the wedding. We'll back, k?" Aditi nudged Shlokaa's shoulder with two fingers, an old loving gesture of theirs, and then dragged Vilasini who was laughing with some other aunty.

"Sure." Shlokaa replied, in between chugging her mocktail. Her thoughts were still swirling over the last day's events when she had travelled the whole city like a tourist with Vilasini. For someone who has lived in one place her whole life, Shlokaa had to anxiously google all places of attraction just in case she left anything. But in the end - "screw it", she just visited two to three main places and then went with the flow carrying them wherever the wind went, while Vilasini asked random strangers their experiences and places they'd recommend.

"But.. we have google maps and reviews." Shlokaa said.

"Meri jaan, logo ke dil ki jo memories hoti hain woh internet pe nahi milti. I asked them their favourite places, not a five star hotel." Vilasini chuckled.

Shlokaa had smiled, so they really couldn't help but go with the flow - even though she couldn't quite understand what Vilasini said in the beginning. Now, Shlokaa' hindi was a little weak (the beginning of her childhood years she had spent abroad and now the westernized accent and language wasn't leaving her) and Vilasini's was surprisingly good for a South Indian.

Meri- what?

What had she called her?

She'd ask her someday.

Suddenly, Vilasini had excitedly pointed at something. "Would you LOOK at that beautiful sunset?" Shlokaa had turned her head ahead. It was definitely beautiful. She had spent years in this city, seen countless of these sunsets but it was as if Vilasini's presence just brightened and heightened every part of existence around. Everything was the same old thing yet so different. Like a rebirth.

Vilasini then had grabbed her hand and sprinted to an ice cream stall as they had watched the sunset while eating ice cream together.

"Heyo, cutie Buttercup." Shlokaa was knocked into reality from her reverie, coming back into the reception. She turned around. Only one person called her that.

"Manika." Shlokaa nodded slowly

Manika gestured her champagne glass into a raising a toast position, then advanced towards her friend, so smoothly as if gliding. She was wearing a sparkling black sari, looking as deviously enchanting as ever. Her deep green bangles clanking as she moved, her magnificent chandelier earrings swaying and nath glinting in the dark as mischievously as her, her siren eyes contrasting with her rosy face, her skinny figure contrasting with her wide hips. She was a sea of contradictions but it suited her well, guys would lay down their lives for her.

"What a pleasure to see the local baddie here!" Manika hooked her arms with Shlokaa's. "Thank God, I would've been bored to death here if it weren't for you, honey. After all, I can't mingle with all the oldies and kids and weirdos.. unlike that damn lesbian."

Shlokaa's heart stopped briefly. Her breathing shook. Her gaze toppled. A hot flower bloomed inside and instantly shed its petals on her heart but instead of petals landing softly, it was like mines dropping and exploding. A cold knife plunged right across her gut. She was blinded - all she could see was darkness.

"Who?" It was like Shlokaa wasn't even speaking, someone else in her body was.

"Vilasini. Ew. I don't even wanna take her name."

And Shlokaa ran. Ran forward with all her might in heavy, painful but very fast steps.

"That's right, darling. Show her what happens when anomalies mess up good ambience." Manika scoffed

But as soon as Shlokaa saw Vilasini, she froze. All her running but time was slowed down on seeing her. It was happening again. All over again. Vilasini, surprised but happy at seeing Shlokaa just smiled and waved her to come join. Vilasini, in her warm fire coloured salwar and chaand baaliya, standing next to Aditi in her silver sari.

They were all picture perfect

Until they weren't

Shlokaa dragged Vilasini in a corner, not too much away from the crowd but not too near either. "Kya hua, meri pyaari-" Vilasini started and suddenly Shlokaa slapped her, sharply right across her face. A small echo rung across the entire field for a moment. Some abruptly stopped talking and stared at them, some continued - not caring and mumbling "arey kya kare bacche toh ladte rehte hain." Vilasini almost tripped from the shock. Her automatic expression was to smile but she was finding it hard to do it right now, still she managed. "Shlokaa, is everythi-"

Another slap, a harder one. A punch probably, Vilasini couldn't tell because she blanked and fell down hard this time, tumbling on the grass as it sloped. She softly put a finger on her face, the corner of her mouth twitching as she realized her upper lip bleeding slightly, her salwar torn a little bit at its neck. Her eyes were swelling with tears too now, she had tried to withhold them but the pain was too much.

"Are you.. are you into girls?" She almost slapped the question on Vilasini as well, the heat rushing back into her because of.... God knows WHAT? She had just slapped this girl, thinking it'll kill the heat coz she thought it was caused by shame and anger but-!?

"Is this all--!?? how could you.. I... listen carefully, Shlokaa. I don't care for you in that manner. Better get that inside. your. head." Vilasini hissed.

Shlokaa had seen many angry people in her life, in fact she loved imagining and making up scenarios of situations and people in different emotions. But she found it impossible to picture Vilasini furious. And now that she was, it was.. something else entirely. Nothing objectively aggressive like she had observed of other people. This. It tugged something so much at her and she lost complete control of her senses, freezing again. She didn't know what to say. "So, you only care about girls you're.. into?"

"What. the. HELL is wrong with YOU!? Have you gone MAD??? Do you even know what you're blabbering on about?" Vilasini's voice cracked

And so did Shlokaa's heart, just the littlest bit. "Nice" she thought. She thought her heart must've been long destroyed by now but cracking meant it still existed. But she had been thinking so wrong all this time. Her insides jumped and screamed at her, she wanted to move fast, just do something. Anything. But the last time she did that, which was just now - she had ended up slapping someone.

"Villu-- VILASINI!!! ARE YOU OK?! OH GOD. WHAT HAPPENED??" Aditi came scrambling and helped Vilasini to her feet, who groaned just a bit at being lifted. She had fallen and shifted her weight on her elbow too it seemed because it hurt as she moved it.

"Nothing," Vilasini smiled.

She did it.

She finally managed to smile even in a situation like this one. Even though it was a little painful because of the cut on her lip.

Shlokaa had wanted her to fight back, hit her, get even, then forgive. Not smile like this. Because it hurt more than anything physical ever could.

Vilasini's voice quietly thundered

"Looks like your friend is done with my energy. She's used hers up showing me the city so her duty is done anyway. Maybe she just didn't like my face after all? Why else would you do this to an otherwise pretty one? But guess what, I didn't like her either. Tell her I don't want to see her stupid, smug face. ever. again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vilasini sighed on the railway station bench late at night and checked her watch. She was leaving. And it was now or never. The reason she had stayed longer in this city was also ironically the reason she was doing this tonight. She hadn't even told Aditi about it. She'd tell as soon as she would reach home, she'd apologize, her cousin would understand. She could feel her eyes moisting again. She was so tired.

A hoot. She got up, dusted herself off and walked away, looking back one last time towards the city lights as she boarded. She couldn't get herself to walk inside right away for some reason so she stepped and lingered at the door. Suddenly, the train started moving so she headed inside.

"VILASINI!"

"Shlokaa?" She couldn't believe her ears

But here she was, running to her, running with the train. In the same outfit she had been wearing in the reception. Night sky deep blue lehenga and anklets twinkling with her sad eyes, kajal smudging everywhere.

"Have you been crying?" Vilasini whispered

"I should ask that to you. You look-"

"Not again. So, you really are a mad girl."

Vilasini couldn't believe any of the last two days that took place, everything happened so fast. But she ached so much, she wasn't even sure if she was paining because of herself or because of her. Why would she bother to for someone who had made a place in her heart so quickly but devastated it just as quickly?

"Please forgive me." Shlokaa pleaded, the city lights flashing in her eyes, running faster as the train did, almost tripping, Vilasini's heart skipped.

But then she did it. She didn't slap her or hit her. But she pushed her. Ever so gently that you couldn't even call it a push. Just a touch with her palm and a soft separation. Shlokaa lost her grip, tripped and went swirling onto the railway platform but regained balance soon.

She didn't even fall or face any injury. She heaved slowly, standing frozen on her spot as she saw the train slowly going out of view now.

[phillipthesims]

Gen One: Chapter 18

Thanks to Camellia's help, Lily was able to get a job at the aforementioned bakery. To be behind the counter for once was an interesting thing to get used to, but she overall liked working there. She learned a lot of new recipes through her work and got to share her own; all of which were recipes she made on her own. Her coworkers were rather nice and didn't press when she didn't want to talk about much of her life before moving with her daughters. They'd smile and move on to a new topic like some of their other hobbies, to which Lily would share some of her own interests outside of baking.

Cooking in general, gardening, and reading a good book were among the few. Many agreed, some mentioned other hobbies, and a few recommended new hobbies for people to try. One was yoga which the description caught Lily's interest. So her coworker went on to tell her about yoga and how relaxing it can be. On breaks, they showed her some of their routines and she took this knowledge home.

She decided to try it as she greatly needed a form of relaxation. Each pose she went through helped release tension in her muscles. As for her mind, she tried to focus on peaceful times; like now with her children in a new home. Sometimes it wandered and she'd feel stray tears run down her face as did her routine, but she didn't let that stop her. In fact, perhaps it was a good thing her emotions were so relaxed like this. It wasn't extreme and pressuring as it had been before, just an emotion that was freed in a relatively calm manner.

Otherwise she thought about her children, how they smiled more. They were all free of the stressors of their old life, free of Lupin. Tula was making new friends, Lola found like minded people, and Lily... Lily had a few friends? She'd like to call them her friends, her coworkers, even her boss was nice to her, her neighbors... especially Camellia.

Camellia seemed so kind and sweet and Lily so wanted to believe it was genuine. But each time she reached a point to accept that her neighbor was that nice of a person... she'd hesitate, she'd remember how Lupin was in the beginning. Sure they weren't completely comparable, through her yoga she thought back on how he was starting off and there were differences. His nature was always clouded with bad intentions from the way he worded things to how he tried her. She was a... a thing? An object to him. She was never a person and he was never a prince. A charming liar, sure, but not prince charming.

Camellia treated Lily like a person, her own person. She felt more genuine, real, and yeah... but what if Lily was wrong, again? Oh it'd be so much easier if she could push aside how pretty her neighbor looked- no, no, she needed to focus on her children and her job.

She tried to push those thoughts aside, she never even thought she could like a girl like that.... No, she couldn't. Her thoughts lingered especially popped up on her breaks at work or when the shift was slow. How she was excited to see Camellia later that day or how she happened to see her that morning. A small smile often on her face as she pictured her neighbor in her head. One of her coworkers said she had a dreamy look on her face.

"Someone is daydreaming on shift~" Her coworker said while there was a lull in the bakery. "Who is it?" They tried to pry just a little bit.

"What? Nobody- why would it be a person?" Lily stuttered out clearly caught off guard.

"Come on, it's obvious on your face." This fact bothered Lily and that too must have been on her face. "It doesn't have to be in a romantic way Lily, just... I don't know, is there someone you want to grow closer to? Someone you are happy to see just in general?"

She held back from answering immediately, but... they were right. "Uh... well one of my neighbors is, well she makes me smile when I see her."

"Ah, is this neighbor the same neighbor who you brighten up for when she comes into the bakery a couple times a week?" Right again and Lily was beginning to wonder if their coworker was a mind reader!

"I- I mean yes... I suppose I'm worried... I've been wrong before and that..." She didn't elaborate, but the other person didn't seem to need more.

"If this is who I think it is, I'll be honest Lily, they are one of the kindest people I know in this city. She helps so many people and offers an ear to those she can't physically help. She's a good person, better than most." Those words hit deep and she didn't get time to say anything before a new customer walked in. In fact the conversation wasn't picked up for the rest of the day, but it lingered in her mind even when she got home.

Maybe... maybe she could be close to Camellia, at least as a friend. She definitely needed a friend. So Lily resolved herself to quit hesitating so much and be more open to her neighbor. She wanted to be close and to trust her.

And as the days passed, Lily made good on her resolve. She was more receptive when she was asked if she wanted to hang out, even just for a short walk. She felt happier around Camellia and she seemed happy around Lily. Lily hoped it was a mutual feeling and dreamed that maybe they could be something....

Camellia took Lily out more and more the few times they both had a day off. It was certainly easier for Lily to agree to leave the house when her children were at school, so she might as well try to enjoy herself elsewhere.

Camellia absolutely wanted to be more with Lily, she had for a while, but she knew enough about the woman to know it might never happen. So being her friend was enough, helping her get back on her feet was enough. And they truly felt that more as the weeks and soon months passed. Lily was a wonderful person to know and befriend.

"Camellia... have you ever been in love?" Lily asked one day. It wasn't out of character for her to mention love, though usually the conversation wasn't a happy one.

"I think so," Camellia answered, she was in love right now with the woman right next to her. With the woman who made the sweetest cupcakes and they could always tell Lily made that batch versus any other batch.

"How... how did it end?" Lily only knew an ending to what she thought was love.

"It hasn't even begun." They smiled as Lily looked confused for a moment. "Love is a strange thing and I don't even know if she likes, not to mention loves, me back... but that's alright."

"She doesn't know you like her?" Lily tried to hide what might be disappointment in the idea of her neighbor loving someone else.

"I think, and hope, she knows I care about her," She paused for a moment wondering if admitting her feelings was worth the risk, but she knew she didn't imagine the odd tone in Lily's voice.... "I want to be her friend first because that's what's important."

Lily remained silent for a few, thinking that same thing the other woman had been thinking about. Was it worth the risk? "I... I think I like someone, but I'm scared.... Camellia, if I said the person was- was you, how would you... how would you react?"

Yes I know I'm mean >:)! See you guys tomorrow!!

[southernmermaidsgrotto]

Hello, I need some help and I think you might have some answers? I went to the river early yesterday and found a bunch of things that the water washed up like jewelry, little statues of elephants and buddha, a statue of a God(?) that says Chango Machu, religious memorabilia and a little red satchet. I got so excited that I picked them all up, thinking this was completely random luck that I found cool stuff. I looked inside the satchet when I got home and there are things that I’m 99% sure are from a spell someone casted- a chocolate heart, coin with the serenity prayer, little clock, tiny metal horse shoe, animal fur etc. I didn’t think twice and threw them out. I’m now realizing I might have done something really bad. Did I mess with this person’s ritual? Am I cursed? I’m completely lost on what to do.

To add on the the previous ask, I still have some of the statues and jewelry. Also, please pardon my ignorance, I searched “Bruja” on tumblr because a lot of the items are clearly from someone of latin heritage and you’re the first blog that showed up. I apologize in advance for anything I said that might offensive.

"I got so excited that I picked them all up, thinking this was completely random luck that I found cool stuff"

Well you should know better than that. In absolutely no situation is it correct to just pick up whatever things you find laying on the streets unless it seems to be something someone clearly lost and you intend to give it back. But if it's a bunch of spiritual looking stuff? DON'T TOUCH IT. Specially if you find it in your front yard/porch or the entrance to your house or job, or any other place you commonly go to. Specially not in a graveyard either. I'm worried that nowadays people don't often get proper spiritual education as the first thing you get told by anyone ever is NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO PUT IT THERE OR WHY. It's as simple as don't get candy from strangers in the streets istg

I have an "am i cursed" post coming up but it's long and I thought I'd put here the main points in the meanwhile.

Unless you were the specific target of that working or there was a clause added to it so that if anybody interferes with it, they'd face consequences, you should be fine... but,

if the working involves calling on, or requesting the aid of, certain patron saints, spirits, entities, gods, etc. like the Orishas, for example, you're risking disrespecting that spirit orisha and thus facing repercussions due to that offense.

What should you do then? get rid of it. PUT. IT. BACK. right where you found it. Cleanse yourself (do a good, deep, powerful bath, just in case) and cleanse your home (if you think something could've followed you in...) then DIVINE. If you trust your own divination abilities, do that, but I recommend:

Consult with a priest of the faith involved to know what the next steps should be. Could be a santería priest, a babalawo, whomever respectable authority of that specific faith (in this case, a faith where changó/shangó is present, thus, orisha faiths) you have access to. Santería, Lukumi, Ifá, Isese, etc. African Traditional and Diaspora Religions. Request a consultation with a Priest or Priestess regarding your spiritual health and ask about this specific situation, they would be able to tell you very specific answers and protocols regarding your current situation and how to move forwards, and how to avoid getting in trouble again in the future.

And please for the love of everything holy, just don't pick up, don't even touch, anything that looks like a spiritual working ever, unless you're an experienced practitioner (or know and trust one) who knows how to deal with the possible consequences.

Hope that helps!

[sunskate]

this week in skating podcast - olivia smart good interview - what stood out-

Jean-Luc Baker texted Olivia the day Adrian and Sara Hurtado split up their partnership to tell her to get in touch with Adrian - Olivia ended up coming to Montreal from Detroit for a week to do a tryout, stayed with Adrian and Madi and says they took good care of her, and when Adrian drove her to the airport, he asked her to team up by asking if she'd move to Montreal

in 2018 when they lost out to Hurtado/Khaliavin for Spain's spot at the PYC games, there was a judge caught cheating at one of the competitions that was deciding their fate, and they won at Nationals but still didn't get sent to PYC, so it was particularly hard

she tells the story again about how Patch told them he thought Mask of Zorro was cheesy but that he also had thought Moulin Rouge was cheesy for VM, but that they really believed in it and obviously made it work for them

the green Zorro dress rather than doing red or black was putting their twist on what was usually done. that immediately the response they got for their program was really positive

she does say she was blindsided by Adrian's retirement, but she asked him a couple times during the Olympic season whether he wanted to keep going after that season, and he answered each time that he wasn't sure, he didn't know. but she says that she eventually talked herself into believing that that meant he wasn't retiring. he picked a difficult moment to tell her he was done - just hours after they skated their FD in Beijing -

so starting in April 2022 was a hard time - when she and Adrian split, she lost someone she spent a lot of time with and gotten close to- says she's a strong person but that it crushed her to have things end, so she wants to tell her story so that other people going through that transition know it's normal. tried new things- coaching, circus shows, looked for a new partner but had a hard time, traveled to Panama alone, went to stay with family-- learned a lot

reached out to Christopher Dean - he told her she needed to find a new partner, to have as many tryouts as she could. and it was Mark Hanretty who recommended her for Dancing on Ice - turned out to be what she needed - to spend 6 months in the UK close to her family, her safe space

confirmed she and Tim Dieck have teamed up - still working out logistics of what country they'll represent. felt they clicked when they did a tryout and that they're both grateful for the opportunity to continue skating

the hosts mentioned that Solene and Marko said Olivia and Tim were supportive when Solene had her accident - Olivia says the other teams at IAM were in full training mode, she and Tim didn't want Marko to be there alone, felt it was necessary and that they'd do anything for their training mates and friends. They took turns with Patch being there while they waited for news, that Solene and Marko are the sweetest couple and remarkable people, and that they were some of the first ones she saw, along with Tim, when she came back to Montreal recently. That the experience brought her and Tim closer, that it was an important and special time, made them all closer.

the IAM family - Olivia has been there 8 years- something special with the coaches and skaters- they all get along- can't say there's a particular thing the coaches do to make the family environment happen- feels like it happened naturally for them all - the city of montreal helps, that it's a beautiful city with so much to do and that they like to do things as a group. the coaches open up to them as coaches and friends, but they don't push the students together. the coaches themselves are business partners but also friends. the higher team there are like that, it makes the students like that too, the environment on ice is light and positive, that it's welcoming. that they want to beat each other in competition but they want each other to do well also

[255940g]

Any title ideas guys? Ch.9 - Allspark abilities p.2

Chapter Summary: An outsider's perspective to Sam displaying her Allspark abilities. These powers do play an important role in the future of this fic. I wouldn't recommend skipping these chapters. Despite everything, these one-shots are usually related points in the timeline. I do blame watching a little bit of the first Avatar and gaining inspiration from it.

The other bots only saw the femme who got along with everyone that you couldn’t help but like - in nearly all the meanings and innuendos of the word. (Her frame - stunning, anatomy (for those more into the medical sciences) - astounding especially with being a tri-former with two alt modes and the ability to warp, her personality was easy for everyone to get along with, and always returned teasing with like, her interactions with Ellie were adorable and stirred dreams all thought were left long ago as a pipe dream of a conjux and/or blessed with a sparkling(s) of their own.)

Then she pulled out the things thought to be fantastical. With…everything about her, it was far too easy to forget your initial meetings with her and the obvious Allspark energy radiating from her. But, the light show happened and no one would be able to forget how the entire battle ceased, no one was able to move while she was attractively glowing with the telltale power of the Allspark radiating from within her. The snarl shook them to their sparks. The puling of the spark forcefully outside of the Decepticons frame to just…fiddling with it. The mechs closer to Sam swore that she said something about the parasite virus. They were released from whatever hold Sam had on everyone, but still, no one moved far. Even the humans were mostly stuck there in awe and confusion. They weren’t even stuck by the large bodies blocking their pathways.

The first time she spoke was practically cooing at Optimus who followed without complaint before he too backed away. Ratchet was rooted to the spot he could get close to her. It appeared without her say so no one would be able to get close or leave. The spark never left Sam’s servos. Energon was dispensed at the usual times. Sam never looked up from playing with the spark. Hours passed with little change. The second energon dispersing happened and Ratchet put his foot down about Sam missing another take of energon. Reasoning her energy levels were greatly lowering with the power she was radiating and who knew what would happen should she crash.

Through comms, there was a poll for volunteers to get close to try and get her to have some energon. Unsurprisingly Bumblebee ended up being the one to get the short straw. Entering the serene bubble surrounding her, it looked as if Bee merely was suicidal to sit behind her. Apparently, it was the right thing to do as Sam made the first movements for hours by relaxing a bit into Bee. She still ignored the energon cube next to her. Ratchet and Optimus did relax a little bit at whatever they heard back from Bee, so it couldn’t be too bad.

A few more hours passed, and even the bots with a shorter attention span were riveted by what they could see from the light show and whatever readings they were getting from Sam. The energon cube was finally acknowledged and passed to Bee.

At least he had the good sense to not drink it. Never mind, he absolutely chugged it. It was back to watching and waiting.

No one was sure what to do when the immobile Decepticon body was touched only for some of it to morph into a small body and the blue spark to be placed into the new spark chamber created. Nor did they know what happened during the super-secret meeting where Ratchet enforced an immediate mandatory check-up.

Even more unusual was the base going on lockdown for the next week. Bots were coming into the medical centre, then coming out hours later as if they'd been through hell. Only a few bots were able to get to the medical personnel. Namely Bee, Ironhide, and Optimus. Those released from the medical tent were sequestered to one side of the island and the other was on the opposite side. They were isolated from each other.

The humans had no idea other than the discovery of a dangerous virus. They doubted this was standard procedure based purely on the exhaustion of Sam and Ratchet and the rest of the bots' anxiousness.

As another little note: I read a fic where Shockwave and the fallen uploaded the deception ranks with a slow acting virus leading them to act irrationally and increase their anger and aggression. I've loved that idea.

Also, fellow tumblr authors, HOW DO YOU ATTACH SO MANY LINKS IN ONE FIC?

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I'm very pleased to say I have finished listening to The Ray Peacock Podcast and now will not be doing that anymore. Unless I manage to find any of the DVD extras I've been trying to track down besides the amusing documentaries on YouTube, that episode they recorded but didn't release at the time but I think I was told Ray Peacock did release it years later, and the special that I'll listen to when I get there chronologically in the Peacock and Gamble Podcast. Because for some reason, as much as that was horrifying from start to finish, I would actually like more of it.

Moving on to Peacock and Gamble now, which will be a relief by comparison. Nice, wholesome, Peacock and Gamble. Messing with fictional children invented for letters, as I recall from what I heard already, but at least leaving most real human beings alone this time.

I listened to the first seven or so episodes of that podcast about six months ago, and it bothered me as I listened to those that I could tell this was a continuation of something, and I hate starting anything without full context, so of course when I did it for real I had to start with the thing it's a continuation of. And the Ray Peacock Podcast was definitely the beginning of Peacock and Gamble. It had to be, as Ed Gamble was a small (not physically small, that was the joke... repeatedly) child when it began. Unless anyone's filmed that Edinburgh stage show that Raji James apparently directed where Ed appeared as a university student, you can't go further back on Peacock and Gamble than that.

The podcast definitely got weird at the end, even by their standards. Which they acknowledged in the last couple of episodes, going very meta and making it even weirder. It didn't help that the guy they kept pretending was having his life ruined, did genuinely have his life ruined. Maybe. Maybe they were lying about him getting evicted from his house? But they committed to lie really hard. Pretty sure by the end they were ruining the life of a guy who'd lost his house, and even they started to balk a bit at that. Also the guy who'd lost his house had understandably checked out a bit. They made a lot of jokes about how they'd like it better if they just did it without him, and I'm going to hope that is the only joke on the entire podcast where they genuinely meant what they said. There was a lot of talk at the end about spinoffs, with the general agreement that that would be a terrible idea and they wouldn't really do it.

One time Ray Peacock recommended and album and I only half paid attention to what it was because based on Ed Gamble, I assumed it would be heavy metal. I think my logic, which was flawed and not really consciously thought out, was that Ed Gamble seemed like he may have cribbed his entire personality/life off this odd older comedian who'd taken him under his wing, Ed Gamble into metal music, I figured Ray Peacock would be too. I even like some metal music, but not so much that I want to look for more of it. But anyway, at the end of the episode they played some of one track off that album, and it wasn't metal, it was really good, so I went back to the part where Ray recommends it (then paid enough attention to realize the description makes it very clear it's not metal), he promised me on it was on iTunes but I checked and it wasn't because it turns out it's not 2008 anymore, it also wasn't on Bandcamp or YouTube, so I went and bought the CD off eBay like it's 2008. That was fun. It's fun to pretend it's 2008.

That show made me think I should really listen to the audiobook of that autobiography Ed Gamble released somewhat recently, I'd be quite interested to hear his explanation of what was going on at the time. I have listened to the little audio extra from his audiobook, a conversation with Nish Kumar, and that was a lot of fun. At the end of this podcast they thank a few of Ed Gamble's friends, including "Nish" and Nick Mohammed. I'd like to hear Ed's stories about all that, I thought, but then I remembered the reason why I didn't listen to that book in the first place, which is that it was themed around food. The final season of The Ray Peacock Podcast did have a segment where every week they'd discuss in detail food and diets and weight loss attempts, and I had to listen to that at 1.5 speed because I hate hearing about that so much. That got far enough into discussing weight loss that I found it actually a bit triggering, as opposed to when I'd briefly put the John/Elis radio show on 1.5 speed during their Tick off a Taste segements, just because I found the food stuff boring. It's the only time I ever fast forward an audio thing, if they get too into food. Really, considering the amount of shit I did to lose weight back when I was competing, I'm fairly lucky that the only lasting effects I have of it are an inability to see food as fun entertainment. Well, that and a fucked metabolism that makes it harder to regulate my weight now. Oh, and weird anxiety about eating certain things in front of people. Panicking if I'm separated from my water bottle for even one second. General anxiety about food. Otherwise it's totally fine.

Anyway. It is difficult to be interested in listening to the life's work of Ed Gamble when you don't want to hear that much about food. But I'm going to start the Peacock & Gamble podcast from the beginning, may as well do those 7 episodes again with context. Context is important. About 44 hours of that, then some Edinburgh episodes with guests, then I can move on with my life and find something more respectable to do. I think I'll have to go highbrow next to balance this out.

I started this for Ed Gamble, but Ray Peacock was the most interesting part of that podcast (I mean, obviously the seasoned comedy veteran was more of a draw than the guy he'd just plucked out of university and the guy who's not a comedian), I liked him very very much by the end, but I am not getting into Ray Peacock's life's work. Not doing it. I've just said I have to go highbrow next, and I'm not listening to anyone talk about ghosts.

[laranjafox]

• New Normal (2022) [in] [22min] #sapphicfox

[no age rating recommended, but I'd say +12 for a better understanding of the story]

[comments; no spoiler]

Oh man, this film is fantastic, the visual part is pretty dynamic, the pace is accelerated, you feel how energetic Appu is, she dances, she hangouts with her men friends a lot, she's a free spirit, then she meets Isha and we can feel her nervousness and how agitated she was, "don't judge me", I was giggling all along, their relationship is so cute and Appu was feeling so good, you could see how important the phrase Isha said "it's normal" truly calmed her down like a mantra.

[spoiler]

It was everything so good, I didn't even think about any problem that could happen, I was taken by all the good emotions, when they were in the highway and the car passed by them with that noise that grows loud in your ear, then dissipates, then the melty feeling stopped and the fear came, I thought they'd get into an accident, seriously, thank goodness they didn't 🙏

But the problematic came.

Appu's mother found out about her romantic relationship with a girl and wasn't comprehensive about it, called it unnatural.

Here I have some thoughts about it: Appu just said that her mother made a problem of it and the rest of her family would know sometime, she neither said she was physically unsafe nor that she was being kicked out from home, so I think Appu was a bit rushed when thinking of moving to another city. But, also, if she could do it and wouldn't have financial problems, then it's a better to move out than staying in a place where don't accept and respect you.

When Appu told about her mother's reaction to Isha, she and Rony laughed, like? I felt hurt about it, I understand Appu's side, it's not something trifling. Okay, each person reacts in their own way, but they could laugh and speak seriously about it afterwards, Appu needed support and her girlfriend that should be the first person doing it, didn't. I don't know, even the part where Appu asks Rony a ride and Isha says no I found insensitive, he could give her a ride and comeback 🥺

From this point they completely fall apart, it's hurtful, but what Appu did isn't okay. And here we have space to talk about different forms of romantic relationship: from what I understood, Appu and Isha had a monogamous open relationship, so they could date and have sex with other people, except for other girls, one rule, one! And Appu did exactly this, I know she was hopeless, but instead of trying to confront and talk, she resort to caring and physical support of another girl. If it happened once, but Appu didn't carry it on, maybe Isha would understand, but that's not what happened and it's sad because Appu called Isha her soulmate, but apparently they don't talk anymore 🙁

I'm happy Appu realizes that she messed up, but the girl states that "if there's conditions in a relationship, it messes it up", for me that's hard to believe, every relationship have conditions, even if they're unspoken, implied. But Appu understands more about herself, that she wants to live non-monogamous open relationships. Maybe her relation with Isha was non-monogamous, they don't say names and we don't have enough details to be sure, but for me, from Isha's perspective it seems like it.

I don't know much about non-monogamy, but one concept of it is having no hierarchy, e.g. Appu-Isha is the main relationship and others that happen are "out of this circle", this doesn't happen, it's all equal and Isha seems to live like that, but when Appu is confronted about cheating, Appu brings up Isha's relationship with Rony, so for her, he was out of their circle, he was less important in such a way that even they having an open relationship and Isha being (I'm supposing) multiromantic, but homosexual, meaning she doesn't feel attracted by men and even she saying that doesn't feel comfortable with having physical contact with men, Appu showed feeling bothered by it. Which makes me wonder if she's ready for living a non-monogamous open relationship without any rules as she wish, since considers it the best, but the idea seems great indeed hehe but utopian

[baekhvuns]

They'll probably have an American tour in summer 2023 🤡 say this to me and my avocado toast Baeksy 💀 nah, but avocado on its own isn't particularly tasty, but I love guacamole and smashed avocado on bread

Also, a lot of those stalkers aren't really fans, like that one Yeosang fansite who shits on him??? Yet follows him around, like? Get a fucking job, bitch

The MOTH novel is so fucking looooong and on-going. It gets spicy cause there are even kids involved. Oh, bestie I read some things on Mr Knight and yeah he did get attention, however he also fucked up. 🔪 I was shook to read who the first father of Latil's baby was, but now there's a new child coming and I hope it's Tasir's 😊 (even though fuck them kids ofc) let's see if the Webtoon ever gets there though. I read one scene between Tasir and Latil that was posted on Tumblr and wheeeeewooooo 👀

The Premier League this season is crazy, Newcastle so high?! No more 4rsen4l 😭 I remember Mbappe's debut at WC in 2018 I was really impressed by him and followed him ever since, also wanted him in RM, but his Frenchiness is showing 😭 stop the arrogance. Football is not going home, oh well... I feel bad for Croatia and Morocco 💔 but they did well

Right, sometimes I'm like "what a shame I don't follow NCT and RV, cause their albums design?! Amazing" but it's better for my wallet. I think Jinni must have violet the contract at some point, not necessarily in a bad way, people are too quick to accuse her of shit... Orbits are really boycotting the comeback (it's sad, cause it looks pretty cool so far, but deserved), I've never thought kpop boycotts could work, but wow

I lost the sight of the 🦘🥊 and was paranoid they'd jump on me once I leave the house akhshahsjshshdhhs. ETL is reserved for me in my dreams, yes 💖 actually yeah, one of my friends had some hate sexual activities that resulted in a relationship and my friend's cousin has recently found herself in a ETL scenario, tho I don't know the details

Southern France is nice! Definitely recommend it more than Paris. Côte d'Azur is pretty.

I'm waiting for lilac Hwa, he even told me he'd like to try purple and remember that random lilac shade he had in Fever Road? It was pretty 😍 Hongjoong needs to do blue again, or Mingi... anyways, yessss long haired Teezers PLSSSS. Seonghwa with hair like this a girl can dream

No because I was about to say FLORIST HWA IS REAL 😌

The beef dumbtinys have with Eden and clam he hates Yeosang 😬 get some help, people. Like I said, there's room for improvement, but he made so many bangers, leave him be

The way he looks here, but he's holding his plush baby so gently. I'll eat him, a silly goofy man

Speaking of SG. COLLAB!!!

I usually pay very little attention to JP albums cause they mostly remixes. The intro and outro is nice, though I don't like Paradigm the song 😭I hope this new song is different and makes me pay attention to this cb (but it's kinda messy, it came out of nowhere and they drop shit suddenly, everyone's broke, the Europe exclusive pre-sale from hello82 was posted AT 4-5AM our time?!?!, the versions are idk... I'm not buying any kpop stuff atm, but I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna purchase it. Maybe the limited version only)

AAAAAAAAAWOOOOOOOOO?!?!?! Giving crucifixion but hot 😳😳😳😳 if he needs bandage person I'm available 24/7

Also tomorrow's KBS Gayo is Y2K themed hmmmm, hope stylists do a decent job

Heeeeeyyy how you feeling? - DV 💖

hi hello!!

They'll probably have an American tour in summer 2023 🤡 say this to me and my avocado toast Baeksy 💀 nah, but avocado on its own isn't particularly tasty, but I love guacamole and smashed avocado on bread

STOP 😭😭😭 IF THEY DO THEN THEYLL FOLLOW IT UP WITH A EURO ONE TOO 🤚🏼 i just think the avocado tastes a lot like grass and earth fbwkfhwk maybe it’s the type i ate but it’s left a bad taste 😭😭

Also, a lot of those stalkers aren't really fans, like that one Yeosang fansite who shits on him??? Yet follows him around, like? Get a fucking job, bitch

half of those fansites are people are whole adults! taking it to social media to shit on them like girlie, worry about your next shift? retirement plans?? obviously not everyone 30+ person is like that but somehow, the fansites turn out be them and it just makes me wonder how much time u got, like if a 20 year old is mad busy BUT YOURE NOT??? HOWIE ???

The MOTH novel is so fucking looooong and on-going. It gets spicy cause there are even kids involved. Oh, bestie I read some things on Mr Knight and yeah he did get attention, however he also fucked up. 🔪 I was shook to read who the first father of Latil's baby was, but now there's a new child coming and I hope it's Tasir's 😊 (even though fuck them kids ofc) let's see if the Webtoon ever gets there though. I read one scene between Tasir and Latil that was posted on Tumblr and wheeeeewooooo 👀

IM SORRY WE GOT KIDS???? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKRJWLFHWK IF U HEARD A SCREAM IT WAS ME, T’WAS ME !!!!! omg he got attention? WHAT DID HE DO STOPPPPP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 whims the baby daddy, tell me idc i will not read this fic, i need u to tell me who married latil, if sonnaught married her, if tasir latil sonnaught have a poly au- who the father is, who the kid is and who does it look like, is it bot or a girl, hair style I NEED EVERYTHING! GIMME THE BIO DATA!

The Premier League this season is crazy, Newcastle so high?! No more 4rsen4l 😭 I remember Mbappe's debut at WC in 2018 I was really impressed by him and followed him ever since, also wanted him in RM, but his Frenchiness is showing 😭 stop the arrogance. Football is not going home, oh well... I feel bad for Croatia and Morocco 💔 but they did well

NO SERIOUSLY WHATS GOING ON FBWNDHEJ this entire year is so u predictable when it comes to footbal, THE WAY HE REJECTED RM FBWMDBWK 🔫🔫🔫🔫 his french ness really is showing bc man what an ego this guy got 😭🤚🏼 football aint going home but the harry meghan docu series is 😭😭🤚🏼 STOPP I DO TOO ESP FOR MOROCCO BC THEY PLAYED SO WELL THEIR DEFENSE? NOT EVEN MBAPPE GOT THRU tbh france winned thru loophole, narrowly won bc mr was not letting them go thru, what a team 🫡 their defense sent half the french players to the hospital 🫡 hopefully the 3rd place play off’s be well to the teams! kinda cried at this thread

Right, sometimes I'm like "what a shame I don't follow NCT and RV, cause their albums design?! Amazing" but it's better for my wallet. I think Jinni must have violet the contract at some point, not necessarily in a bad way, people are too quick to accuse her of shit... Orbits are really boycotting the comeback (it's sad, cause it looks pretty cool so far, but deserved), I've never thought kpop boycotts could work, but wow

YEAAAHH the album aesthetics of sm are truly top tier >>> also wtf???? yg sucks with albums, they always do the ugly ones,,, ahhhh ur right, hopefully she’s away from social media and the comments and focusing on being well! kpop boycott of mama couldn’t work i doubt this one will once the release date is closer tbh 😭😭😭

I lost the sight of the 🦘🥊 and was paranoid they'd jump on me once I leave the house akhshahsjshshdhhs. ETL is reserved for me in my dreams, yes 💖 actually yeah, one of my friends had some hate sexual activities that resulted in a relationship and my friend's cousin has recently found herself in a ETL scenario, tho I don't know the details

NAURRRRRR FBWMDHWK NEWS ON AUSTRALIA “TOURIST JUMPED BY TWO FIGHTING KANGAROOS!” SCREAMING GFBDHD,, WHEN IS UR ETL COMING !!!! MANIFESTING SOME WORK ETL OR NEIGHBOUR ETL 🤚🏼🤚🏼 o…my god. so ur saying ETL can actually happen 😮😮

Southern France is nice! Definitely recommend it more than Paris. Côte d'Azur is pretty. //// I'm waiting for lilac Hwa, he even told me he'd like to try purple and remember that random lilac shade he had in Fever Road? It was pretty 😍 Hongjoong needs to do blue again, or Mingi... anyways, yessss long haired Teezers PLSSSS. Seonghwa with hair like this a girl can dream

i just looked it up and omg it’s sO PRETTY ill def go there saint tropez, cannes cassis! STOP IT DONT MANIFEST IT IF UR NOT GONNA GET TO SEE IT, LET IT BE SOME BASIC COLOUR FHWKDHSK no bc blue hong was legendary, i always see him as blue silver or red headed, blue was so legendary jcbsks MINGI LONG HAIR BESTIE FHWJDHWK

No because I was about to say FLORIST HWA IS REAL 😌 //// The beef dumbtinys have with Eden and clam he hates Yeosang 😬 get some help, people. Like I said, there's room for improvement, but he made so many bangers, leave him be

bestie u are the psychic, ur want came true 🤲🏼 NO REALLY THIS BEEF GOTTA STOP 😭😭😭 if he hated yeosang, he’d do much more than just not give him lines c’mon 😭😭 no yeah, let them vibe, this beef will just strain their relationship if it reaches them, itll do more harm than good

The way he looks here, but he's holding his plush baby so gently. I'll eat him, a silly goofy man //// Speaking of SG. COLLAB!!!

tell me is that not bbhwa going soft, SORRY WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SECOND EDIT DHAKDHWKDHWKD THE ASS LETTER WRITING 😭😭😭

STOP BC DC AND ATZ DROPPING A BANGER WOULD END ME, DAMI AND MINGI DUO 🤲🏼🤲🏼 ON MY KNEES DAMNIT

I usually pay very little attention to JP albums cause they mostly remixes. The intro and outro is nice, though I don't like Paradigm the song 😭I hope this new song is different and makes me pay attention to this cb (but it's kinda messy, it came out of nowhere and they drop shit suddenly, everyone's broke, the Europe exclusive pre-sale from hello82 was posted AT 4-5AM our time?!?!, the versions are idk... I'm not buying any kpop stuff atm, but I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna purchase it. Maybe the limited version only)

imma say it sounds pretty messy, my personal opinion is that their voices are so loud and sharp and the instrumentals quite loud as well so it makes it an awkward mismatch in my opinion 😭😭 this cb is def not necessary but let’s see how it plays! hopefully they get enough rest before the euro tour!! NO BC THERES NO 12PM KST ANYMORE THEYRE DROPPING IT WHENEVER THEY LIKE FBENDB im also thinking of not purchasing it tbh, maybe if the hwa pictures give my heart a change but id tbh save the money bc recession is upOn US

AAAAAAAAAWOOOOOOOOO?!?!?! Giving crucifixion but hot 😳😳😳😳 if he needs bandage person I'm available 24/7

Also tomorrow's KBS Gayo is Y2K themed hmmmm, hope stylists do a decent job

GET THE FUCK OUT NOT THE CRUCIFIXION AGNWMBDWKJDWKDBWKDH THE BANDAGES 😀😀 BOXER PARK SEONGHWA IN YOUR AREAAA,,, no bc the theme is Y2K watch jongho pull up in all black 😭😭 WHERE IS THE Y2K

Heeeeeyyy how you feeling? - DV 💖

i.

come back confirmed.

character of men of harem u say

giving edward cullen a run for his money