#the pain before

[niragisimp]

The Burden of Healing (Part Two)

A/N - This chapter does have a brief trigger warning! It IS marked clearly, but please beware regardless <3

Part One, Series Masterlist

You awoke after not too long to a loud crashing sound. Startled, you bolted to your feet, your eyes immediately drawn to the sky as a large blimp hit the ground, erupting in flames despite the water surrounding it. A king has fallen; the King of Clubs to be specific.

Why were you walking towards it? This was stupid. Every rational thought in your mind told you not to, but your feet just kept moving forward. You should be trying to get food; it had already been a day since you ate. You should be finding water, supplies. Not heading into the literal fires of hell that surely awaited you.

Before you knew it, you had broken out into a sprint. You couldn't explain it. But you knew you needed to get there as quickly as possible. You hadn't run this fast towards anything in your entire life. Thanks to the few Spade games you've managed, you were decent at endurance, but it was far from your best suit. Your lungs started burning before long, your mind unsure if it was from the smoke plummeting towards you and the sky or the fact that you were dehydrated as all hell. But it didn't matter.

Niragi sneered, hidden and lingering against the wall, watching as Arisu and Usagi buried Tatta. 'Finally, he did something useful...' Niragi nearly rolled his only good eye. The bandages surrounding most of his body would need changing soon, or he'd die without even going into a game. He snuck away easily, his face a near-permanent scowl as he made sure to get some distance between him and... them. That stupid happy-go-lucky couple...

He managed to find an empty house, clearly already ransacked but by the looks of it, only the kitchen had been raided. Lucky him. Down the hallway was the bathroom, a pitiful stench of death coming from the bathtub, stained red. He scoffed slightly at the sight; death was nothing new for any player in the Borderlands. But condemning yourself to hell earned something different from pity in this state; it reeked of defeat and disgust.

Finding some bandages, Niragi began the painful process of replacing the old ones. Most were thrown on carelessly. Everything hurt, so what was the point of trying too hard? Your face flashed in his mind for just a split second, and it gave him a moment of pause before he quickly disregarded the thought of you.

He had searched as long as he could the day after the Beach burned to the ground, before his wounds caught up to him and he couldn't continue without giving himself some sort of treatment.

These brief few days gave him plenty of room to think. That was the best part of being alone; it only gave you time and thoughts to dwell on. But sometimes, those thoughts that surface are better left alone. He had half-expected to find you immediately, or at least within the first day. How far could you have possibly gotten in such a short amount of time? Far, apparently.

His mind kept wandering back to that day at the Beach before everything went to hell; literally. Chishiya had clearly known where you were, yet refused to tell him. He should've just shot him. The outcome would've been the same. He's still left without you. And you're probably sneaking around with that bloody snake, slithering his way through the Borderlands like the serpent he is.

Niragi finally finished half-assing his bandages, the couch under him stiff and just plain uncomfortable. But the sun was setting, the locks on the house worked, and rest didn't come this easily often. He closed his eyes, the pain under his bandage persisting. But eventually, sleep caught up with him. A deep sleep, accompanied by your face, haunting his dreams. "Y/N..."

By the time you got there, the fire was extinguished to ash, still fleeting up into the sky. Your heart was beating fast, though whether it was from the running or the familiarity of the smoke, you couldn't be too sure. The sun was beginning to set in the distance, making the cross on the grave shadow over the freshly dug dirt. You were still panting, your eyes softening as the spark of familiarity ran through you at the sight of the hat on the grave. The mechanic.

**!! Warning! Brief mention of S.I. (Suicidal ideation) ahead! !!**

You closed your eyes for a moment; you never cared much for prayer, it was often something forced on you by your parents and grandparents. But rarely, similar to when you come across a dead animal on the side of the road, you'd give yourself a moment to pause, and kindly ask whatever God out there... 'Please let them in. They've done nothing wrong.'

You suddenly froze up. Niragi was dead, or so Chishiya claimed. But you had no reason to doubt him; no reason to question his words. If there was a heaven or some kind of afterlife... Would Niragi be there?

You felt something wet run down your face. Looking up, you notice the dark looming clouds, yet rain seemingly hadn't arrived quite yet. Your hand reached up, wiping a tear you hadn't known you shed away. You weren't the smartest, but you did know that even if there was a higher power, they wouldn't let Niragi in.

Something in you changed at that moment. It was as if... you suddenly felt no fear at all. The only fear you had was not being able to rest without Niragi. And so, if someone like Niragi went to hell... Then you'd make sure you held your head high and went to hell alongside him.

**!! Clear !!**

DAY TWO

The next day, you quickly realized why so many blimps still stood. Knowing the difficulty and the suit does you no good in this place... just instills fear. Only two blimps went down yesterday; King of Clubs and Queen of Diamonds. Your mind went to Chishiya, wondering where the hell he even was after all this... Did he partake in the King of Clubs game? It didn't seem to fit his style. But all the other blimps stood, floating still in the sky, all but the King of Spades which wandered about, coming into sight now and then.

You made your way to a rather familiar-looking convenience store hidden behind some buildings, almost as if by habit. The area looked rather familiar, but something in you couldn't quite place it. You felt rather lucky, stepping inside to see it had only been hastily rummaged through, snacks and a few perishables still left behind.

One of the first things that caught your eye was the gumball machine. Kuina's laugh echoed in your mind briefly, making a weak smile tug at your lips. "I wonder if she'd chew on them, if she lost her candy stick..." A soft laugh escaped you; the Beach wasn't the best place, but... some of the people certainly had their own charms that made it bearable.

You couldn't help but grab a few gumballs from the machine, rummaging for a decent bag to carry some supplies in. You found a few packages of ramen that were still untouched; even without running water, food is food and this wasn't the place to be picky.

"Ha, no way..."

The green label caught your eye. It was your favorite childhood drink, one of the few luxuries your family afforded you on occasion. You grabbed a bit more than necessary; why not?

You unscrewed the cap and nearly drank the whole thing in one go. The sugar was probably hell at this point, but something to drink was better than nothing, as long as it went down alright. After managing to find some emergency supplies, the patter of light rain on the rooftop captured your attention. You never really liked the rain. It reminded you of... other things.

The umbrella opened as you stepped out of the store, glancing around, and deciding which route to take. Something pulled you down towards the alleyway, an odd sensation.

Niragi.

You froze immediately. The rain started coming down harder, your eyes wide and glued to the ground, an awfully familiar scenary laid out in front of you. You staggered back slightly, barely catching yourself on the side of the dumpster before you found yourself sliding down the front of it to the ground.

You were running at the time. Running from Haru, running from everything. It was a day just like this, years ago but seemingly so fresh. You ran into a boy with glasses, knocking you both over. Niragi was your savior for a day; buying you enough time to escape from your abusive brother.

But now... after all this time, it all came together. That was Niragi, before... before everything. Even before the Borderlands, he had still saved her, unknowingly. He must've taken an awful beating back then, all because she ran into him and he just so happened to get in the way of Haru.

The umbrella dropped to your side, the feeling of the cold rain completely numb on your skin. You knew all this already. So why was this empty alleyway so... painful? No matter how much you tried not to, Niragi's face kept persisting in your mind. From the moment you met at the Beach, to the moment his shirt covered your shoulders for the first time, to the day he told you to stay hidden.

Why hadn't you just... grabbed his hand that day? He said he'd clear it for you, all you had to do was turn a blind eye and just go back to the room and wait for him.

You didn't even realize you were sobbing until you choked on a breath, breaking out into a meltdown. You should've just grabbed his hand. You should've just done what he told you. You should've trusted him. Why did you leave him?

Your screams echoed off the walls of the alleyway, heard even over the echo of the rain. Your fists hit the dumpster wall like a punching bag, howling out in pain. But despite the blood appearing rapidly on your knuckles, the pain wasn't from any injury that could be seen.

He could hear the screams from all the way down the street. But he knew them instantly, a sound that made him both concerned and his chest tighten slightly, not as if he'd ever showcase it. He quickened his pace slightly, his hands tucked into his pockets. He slowed them just in time as he rounded the corner, taking in the sight before him.

You were sobbing in the corner of the dumpster. Your hair was damp and unkept, your face red, your hands bunched up into fists and you rocked back and forth. He had seen it before when a patient was about to snap. But that wasn't his expertise. His footsteps were a bit heavier than usual; it would be easier to attempt to get your attention like this. He knelt down, seeing as you didn't bother looking up at your surroundings at all.

"... Come with me."

The few words initiated a soft nod from your head, choking out one last sob before you shakily rose to your feet properly. You didn't know how long it had been raining, but you suddenly felt a heavy weight on yourself, nearly collapsing forward. He barely caught you by your shoulder, steadying you.

The moment you felt the warmth of his hand, you suddenly clung to him. His arms were hovering by his sides, clearly a bit uncomfortable but... allowing it. For now. Not that he enjoyed it or anything.

When he heard the softest sniffle, his arms slowly wrapped around you; he was never much for any physical contact like this, but...

"... Glad I came to save you?"

His words made you look up, seeing that slight smirk on the corner of his lips. But you didn't care; a friendly face was a rare sight.

Chishiya huffed slightly, "I don't enjoy the rain much. Come on, let's go."

He paused when he felt the sensation in his hand. Glancing back, he noticed your hand wrapped around his. He stiffened slightly, noticing the look on your face. Your eyes were bloodshot, your legs shaking slightly but probably not from the rain. Chishiya carried on, shoving his free hand in his pocket, and silently began tugging you along.

[tawnysoup]

Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3

If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods

[pyrus-salicifolia]

“Normal” test results are not the relief people think they are. When you wake up in pain and continue to be in pain for hours every day and your tests come back normal you don’t stop being in pain.

[soapbbox]

You know how in TFP Optimus can’t really remember what happened during his time without the matrix. Yeah. The sad version of this what if Optimus met cogless Megatron.

Cont from this, and this

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[chronicpaingirlie]

tbh the ‘anything is better than nothing’ mindset has been invaluable to me, especially as a disabled person. like. half-assing things is the number one reason anything gets done for me.

run the dishwasher even if it’s not full. brush your teeth even if you aren’t going to floss. put away a single piece of clutter to make your space more livable. change your shirt and keep wearing the same pair of pants. eat a snack if you can’t make a meal.

it sucks to not be able to get stuff done as well as you’d like. i get that so much. but you have permission to half-ass stuff as much as you need. literally anything is better than nothing.

[kettlefire]

Muscle Memory (DpxDc)

Jason barely remembered getting back to his safe house or even finding his way to bed. The night had been so tiring, so busy, and so many parts of his body hurt.

The moment his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. Drifting off into dreamland for some much need sleep.

That was until a noise stirred him up from his sleep. It was a soft creak of one of his many loose floorboards.

It was in a flash that Jason was up, eyes still heavy with sleep, and a gun held to his thigh as he exited his bedroom. The soft light coming from his bathroom was the first hint.

When he pushed open the bathroom door, the sight before him had him holstering his weapon. Black hair, blue eyes, and blood. That's all Jason needed to see.

Jason would swear he wasn't still half asleep, that he knew this wasn't one of his brothers. In reality, still sluggish from a hard night and sleep deprivation, Jasin's brain had automatically assumed it was one of his baby brothers.

As he immediately settled into patching up the wounds, holding back questions for now. It wouldn't be the first time one of them came to him for aid when they didn't want Bruce to know they were hurt yet.

It was pure muscle memory as Jason worked. Yes, he didn't like the injuries, reminding himself to ask which rogue did this in the morning.

Now wasn't the time for an interrogation. Not with the barely concealed tears in those eyes, or the dark bags that decorated beneath them.

He barely grumbled for the teen to take the couch, reminding that there were extra blankets in the hallway closet. Dropping a few pills into the boy's hand to help with the pain he was surely in.

Jason left the mess in the bathroom, leaving it a problem for more awake him. He waved the boy off when he tried to speak, telling him they'll talk in the morning.

In the end, Jason was glad to finally face plant back into his bed. Barely bothering to curl up under the covers before sleep took over once again.

When morning came, Jason almost forgot about letting one of his brother's crash in his place. Stumbling out of his bedroom to immediately notice the lump on his couch.

He put a pot of coffee on, grabbing his phone, ready to let Bruce know that whoever came to him last night was safe and sound.

Except, when Jason moved over to confirm who it was, he finally noticed. This wasn't one of his brothers. And last he heard, Bruce hadn't taken in any new strays.

Jason stood over the sleeping boy, phone in one hand, and mind figuring out what to do. His mind replaying the half-asleep memories from last night.

It made sense, now that he thought about it. The boy had seemed so scared, so surprised that Jason was helping. The boy hadn't done anything either by the looks of it.

He didn't seem to have taken anything or even snooped. The boy seemed to have just crashed on the couch like Jason had told him to. He didn't come here to rob him or cause trouble. The kid had broken into his safe house only to raid his first aid kit.

The kid had broken into his safe house only to raid his first aid kit.

Well, Jason wasn't about to put Alfred's teachings to shame by being a horrible host either.

[medusaesque]

Kim Kitsuragi, Kid Master General

[trypo-p]

The gang's all here!

[mirensiart]

pain sharing curse au feat legend’s inability to cope with the idea of losing someone again + twilight trying to make wolfie happen lmao

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THE BEGINNING

[dreamlikefright]

Leon Cowboy Kennedy! 🪽

(complete with blue herb due to the fact he’s the only character I’ve actually lost to a poisonous enemy)

[niragisimp]

The Burden of Healing (Part One)

A/N** .... Holy shit, I'm back.

Series Masterlist, Part Two

You sat up slowly, your head throbbing as you leaned away from the car door you had been against. Looking around into the silence, you notice the darkness looming overhead. Slowly you sat up, gasping at the pain in your head. Reaching back, you could feel the bump that had already formed, as tender as it was to the touch. You could sense the panic start to rise in your gut, trying to remain as calm as you could be, given your situation. This was the Borderlands, after all. Panic wasn't something that could be casually afforded.

You brought yourself up to your feet, groaning slightly at the pain in your back. It was a bit of a miracle, to be honest, the fact that you weren't already dead, considering. Your eyes scanned the area a bit and you took a deep breath. It seemed like once again, you found yourself alone in this world to fend for yourself.

Upon further exploration of the empty streets, you noticed the blimps in the sky, the lights from above shining down on the cards they held. Your thoughts were momentarily interrupted by the growling in your stomach. You hadn't eaten since yesterday, and although it wasn't necessarily a concern to you at this time, you couldn't find the others if you were dead from starvation - or worse.

It was surprisingly easy to find food, though it was already too spoiled and rotten for you to have any hope at all of consuming it. "Damn it..." You muttered under your breath, searching the second store in a row only to find everything already ransacked and spilled all over the floor. Your head whipped at the sound of a can falling onto the floor, your eyes meeting that of a scared young man. "W-wait!" You called out as he began running.

You ran after him, desperate for any kind of information. He must've heard the plea in your voice because he stopped, looking back at you with more curiosity than fear. The first good sign you've seen all day.

"You're... From that Beach place, right?"

He asked, nodding his head to the bracelet you still wore around your wrist. You cleared your parched throat, "Y-yeah, I am. Do you know what happened outside...?" You asked cautiously, hoping for any kind of information.

"The King showed up. Starting shooting at everyone in sight." You could feel your breath catch in your throat, the sound of gunshots returning to your memory. "Ah, that's right..."

The King of Spades. The first face card you had the luck of encountering. It was just the Beachgoers, as well as some ordinary players, walking through the town once light blessed the area enough to see. Nobody knew what to do exactly, but it didn't matter. Because the blimp of the King of Spades quickly descended upon them before anyone could even think to breathe for a moment.

"Do you happen to know where I could find any food that isn't spoiled?" You noticed the young man immediately looking defensive of the cans in his hands, "N-no, no! I don't want to take anything from you! I just... I don't know where my group went, and..." You trailed off, the sight of Chishiya knocking back a grenade away from the car you were supposed to get into with the other flashing through your mind.

"Hiriko."

Your attention snapped back to the young man, "Huh?"

"Hiriko." He held out his free hand, his other still clutching the clear sack of food cans. You outstretched your hand to shake his, "(Y/N)."

He nodded, humming a bit in acknowledgment. "I see. Follow me then." You gave him a curious look you're almost certain he paid no mind to as he started walking out the door. You hesitantly followed him through the streets of the abandoned city, remaining a decent ways behind him, just in case.

"You remind me of my little sister."

He paused, not looking back at you. "I can't guarantee you anything, but me and some others made a small camp a few floors up in that building over there." He gestured over to what was once an electronic outlet with apartments above. "You're welcome to join us, if you'd like."

Almost sensing your silence as hesitancy, he added, "You don't have to. But we have food, and our leader is pretty funny and laidback, considering." He offered a bit of a forced smile looking back at you. The thought of food confirmed your decision for you, softly nodding your head.

The sound of laughter erupted from the stairway, and it almost shocked you, to say the least. You could feel the eyes on you as you entered behind Hiriko, a few with questioning looks. A man stood, clasping Hiriko on his shoulder, not quite surprised to see you behind him. "Food! Nice job Hiriko! Let's get this sorted." Hiriko nodded at the man, joining the others around the table in what was once probably a community room of sorts. The man's attention turned to you now, his hand outstretched. "The name's Mizu. It seems Hiriko must've found you along the way. You're welcome here with us, as long as you pull your weight."

With that, the man named Mizu walked back towards the group gathered on the couches, all passing out the canned food scavenged by Hiriko. You slowly approached the group, trying to get a read on them. A great majority of the six greeted you warmly as you took a seat near Hiriko, making sure to keep an appropriate distance.

You couldn't even hide your shock as a can was opened and handed to you. Hiriko snickered a bit as he took the can on your behalf, placing a plastic spoon in the contents and nudging you with it, "Eat. You look like you haven't eaten in forever!" You carefully took the can, "T-thanks..." You murmured, your mouth already watering from the sight. You tried to take your time the best you could, but you found it difficult as soon as the cold beans hit your tongue. It earned a few chuckles from some select others, but as you glanced up, you noticed a pair of eyes nearly glaring at you.

"Oi, Zeke, stop with the glare man." Mizu nudged the man glaring at you as he muttered something under his breath, his gaze shifting back to his can of beans. The rest of the night went by without incident, coming to an end as Hiriko showed you to a private room. "This one can be yours. Always lock it at night, just in case." He offered a small smile as you nodded, "Thanks, Hiriko... I appreciate it."

DAY ONE

You awoke to the sound of knocking on your door, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you sat up, swinging your legs off the side of the stiff bed. Opening the door, you were not-so-pleasently greeted by the man named Zeke. "Get ready. We're going out."

He left as quickly as he came, leaving you in the doorway. It only took you moments to get ready, and you sighed remembering the running water you began to take for granted back at the Beach. You froze, feeling tears begin to swell as the thoughts you had been blocking began to surface quickly.

The last you saw of him was the ten of Hearts. He had a vicious smile, one you didn't quite recognize; or not on him, at least. Your lips began to tremble as the regret flooded in, your hands grabbing the sides of the sink in the bathroom to steady your shaking knees. "I should've... I should've tried harder... I could've..."

I could've tried harder to save him, to convince him that he didn't have to slaughter all these people for the fun of it. The one person in the world that had any hope of being able to reason with him, had run away because I was scared because I... I wasn't strong enough.

You quickly wiped your tears with shaking hands, stopping the thoughts from progressing any further. Niragi was gone, and crying wasn't going to change that. After this was all said and done, then you would have your time to grieve. But for now, you had to live, find Chishiya and Kuina and beat this sick world to a pulp so that maybe you could have a chance at returning home.

The group made small talk as the seven of you walked through the town, some telling inside jokes as they walked along. Hiriko stuck by you for the most part, probably sensing your unease. You kept your eyes on the sky, wary of the dreaded blimp that caused you and the others from the Beach to lose track of each other. These people seemed nice enough, or most of them did at least, and there was no harm in working together for the time being until you found Chishiya again.

Seemingly walking aimlessly, you nearly ran right into the back of Mizu. A bit startled, you followed everyone's gaze upward and felt your heart drop right into your stomach at the sight in front of you. There, hovering over the building, pieces gently swaying in the wind, it stood. The Queen of Diamonds.

You couldn't stop shaking. You managed to swipe some of the blood from your face, or so it seemed like it. There was barely time to look around; it shouldn't have had to be this way. Only Zeke and yourself managed to make it out alive from the group. Hiriko's final moments flash in your mind a bit, a final forced smile. Maybe you did remind him of his sister after all. Would he have done the same for her, if she was here?

There was a woman, the player Queen, that you recognized from the Beach. You never quite caught her name, but the others from the Beach seemed to trust her enough. She led your team to victory on the chessboard... If only the other team could've been saved too.

"Stop followin' me." Zeke muttered, glaring back at you. You stopped, your hand on the wall to steady the adrenaline crash running through your veins. "Huh...?" You glanced up, trying to focus.

"The others are dead. If your Visa wasn't the issue, they'd still be here. Now scram, before something worse than a fucking laser comes down on your ass."

You felt your shoulders tense automatically. But you didn't follow him, no. Just stared at his back until he disappeared, probably back to where the camp was. His words stung, but you couldn't deny that they were true. Your Visa was running out, and now that the face cards had begun... the thought of going out alone being suicide was a valid concern for anyone that made it this far. Hopefully.

Managing to make your way to a small bridge, you huddled underneath, raiding a car for a blanket you happened to see in passing. It was shabby, but it worked. Now all you had to do was fall asleep and pray the lives that died for you didn't feel like being cruel tonight.

[zeropro]

"Had to see you again."

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Burning Rotten Bridges

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[opens-up-4-nobody]

:-P

[aslyran]

Visions