#the other tribute ended up dying before he did and so he kind of won by accident even though he wished he would've died instead

[ssolessurvivor]

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 from finnick

memes - always accepting! - @legeandary (long description in the tags lol sorry!)

It was no surprise that the opinions of Logan's particular Games win were still debated even years later. His eyes were still haunted by those last few hours, even, so he couldn't blame other victors and even spectators from flinging their foul words at him, intent to sting. He let them as a way of self preservation, really, even if it seemed backwards in thinking.

If he let them cast their words like stones, they wouldn't do anything physical. And that's the last thing he wanted.

What he wasn't expecting, however, was for Finnick to step between himself and some folk deeming Logan unworthy enough of any kind word or sentiment. His scars branded him for life, but there seemed to be a few people who deemed him somewhat worthy of respect. When the offenders decided now was the time to bow out beneath Finnick's strong gaze, as piercing as those tridents he wields so effortlessly, Logan allows their gazes to meet when the other turns back towards him.

"Thank you." It's the least he can do, and good manners, to offer thanks. But he quickly runs a hand through his hair to mask his nerves. "Y-you didn't have to do that."

[atqh16]

Indulging in the idea of a sasunaru hunger games au. Sasuke volunteers himself when he’s 15, his intentions being that he wanted to look for Itachi who’d been choosen several years before, won but was never allowed to see Sasuke ever again.

Naruto (genderbend maybe) also volunteers herself as the female tribute. Which she does so because she refused to let Sasuke go into the games alone. Also because she knew about his goal to find his brother and wanted to help him do that. Her actions infuriate Sasuke which is really just his way of hiding how terrified he is at the idea of Naruto dying (they’ve been childhood friends who grew up together). Not only in the games but also if she was caught trying to help him find his brother.

Another reason was also because Sasuke hated the idea of Naruto having to go through the trauma of the games and be forced to make choices that would possibly go against her own morals. To him, Naruto was too good. Too kind. Especially since he and her had found a way to escape their district a few weeks before the day of the reaping and Naruto was basically throwing away that chance of freedom for his sake.

Naruto to her credit, didn’t volunteer herself just to help and protect Sasuke, but also because she felt like this was probably her one and only chance to make any kind of statement against Panem that could lead to change even in the smallest way. She did not intend to play along with the rules of the game.

Sasuke knows this and it’s also something that terrifies him. Knowing that Naruto has zero sense of self preservation.

Sasuke does find Itachi who had actually become a mentor for their district, but to Sasuke’s confusion, Itachi is cold, distant and borderline cruel in his treatment of his little brother. It’s revealed later that, after Itachi won his own games he had made efforts to secretly undermine and fight panem from the inside but he’d been found out and as punishment, they had murdered his parents. The only reason they had let Sasuke live was to blackmail Itachi into doing what they wanted and he had acted the way he did towards Sasuke in hopes that the people in charge would think that Itachi no longer cared for Sasuke and that would keep Sasuke safe. Sasuke himself never knew their parents death had been Itachi’s ‘fault’ since it had been made to look like an accident.

Filled with anger and hatred, Sasuke is determined to win the games, become a champion and through that, find a way to destroy Panem even if he has to do it himself. He completely avoids the fact that he might have to kill Naruto to do so. During the games he ignores most of the other tributes (feeling that they weren’t a threat and that the game will eventually kill them) but deliberately targets the career tributes and kills half of them one by one (there are 6, he kills 3). However he gets hurt in the process.

During this time Naruto has spent the whole game avoiding other tributes and actively looking for Sasuke. Along the way she saves a tribute named Haku from one of the career tributes but in their interaction Haku admits that they would have killed Naruto if they had to. Naruto in return tells Haku that she wouldn’t and if she had to save them again, she would. But Haku asks Naruto what would she do if it came down to either one of them in the end and Naruto has no answer. Naruto gets hurt by a tracker jacker and is cornered by one of the career tributes, dazed, confused and hallucinating, she’s almost killed but is saved by Haku who is mortally wounded doing so. But in their last breath, they tell a devastated Naruto that they would do it again if they had to.

Crushed, Naruto looks up to where she knows they’re all being filmed and says loudly and sincerely through tears that she’s sorry for Haku’s death (her words are meant for Haku’s district) and venomously accuses the game makers (rightfully so) of murdering another innocent child.

Reinvigorated, she continues her search for Sasuke and eventually finds him hurt and suffering from an infected wound. Naruto nurses Sasuke and when the game makers announce that ‘they are placing what each tribute desperately needs at the cornucopia’, Naruto leaves to retrieve what she knows is medicine for Sasuke, knowing she could be killed. She has to fight one of the two last remaining career tributes but is aided by another tribute named Zabuza who had been from the same district as Haku. Zabuza kills the career tribute and leaves after telling Naruto it’s only just this once, for Haku.

Naruto nurses Sasuke back to full health. They both go out looking for food. Sasuke finds nightlock berries and picks and puts them away in his pocket. Tries not to think about why he’d done so. The game maker sends out mutts after the remaining tributes and both Sasuke and Naruto run towards the cornucopia and climbs it for safety just in time but finds the last career tribute (and the only other tribute left) already there. Sasuke kills the tribute to save Naruto after a struggle and both of them realize that they’re the last ones left alive. To his shock, Naruto tells Sasuke to kill her, telling him that she always knew it was going to end this way. Admitting that while she wants to destroy Panem, she’d easily choose to save Sasuke, seeing him as more important. Sasuke thinks about the berries and knows Naruto would eat them without hesitation if he gave them to her but ultimately refuses. He pulls out the berries to eat them himself but Naruto stops him and tells him they’ll do it together. At the last minute the panicked game makers declare both of them the winner

When they finally return victorious, Sasuke finds out to his horror that Itachi is gone. Blinded with grief and fury, he’s consoled by Naruto who tells him he’s not alone and they’re going to find Itachi and they’re going to tear Panem down piece by piece along the way

This is as far as I’ve gotten.

[thealtoduck]

Being from District 1 and being in the 75th Hunger Games with Finnick…

Finnick Odair x Male reader

Warnings: It’s the goddamn hunger games so people dying and lots of violence, talk about two people hooking up.

(A/N: This is based on the movie because i didn’t feel like re-reading the book before writing this)

Growing up in District 1 had it’s advantages because unlike most districts yours has a good relationship with the capital and you are illegally trained for the hunger games so you get an advantage.

…buuuut there is a disadvantage, you are taught the games are just that GAMES and ignore the parts where you might end up traumatised or worse dead.

And that is how you ended up in the games, you volunteered but mostly because you were taught that the games are a good thing and because your parents pressured you into it.

However you ended up winning but not without some mental scars.

You took your winnings and moved into the victors village but without your parents not ever wanting to speak to them again.

You lived peacefully for a while until you didn’t because the capitol decided that for the third quarter quell the tributes would be reaped from the victors of each district.

When you saw that you may or may not have had a nervous brakedown.

Then came the day of the reaping, you told yourself that you were not likely to be picked since District 1 had several other Male victors.

”As for the male tribute… Y/N L/N”

But then you were picked anyway… *cries*

So alongside Cashmere you headed for the Capitol in one of their fancy trains.

You had been allowed to chose your mentors, Cashmere had chosen her brother Gloss. You had picked Augustus Braun, Panem’s favorite son, (he was a character created for promo photos for the movies, the guy who ”plays” him is really hot). He had been your mentor during the year you won so he knew how to work with you and plus he is nice :).

When you arrived at the trainstation there were a huge crowd waiting for you. Augustus advised you to try to appear sad but still wave to the capitol citizens and treat them kindly so they might sympathize with the fact that your back in the games.

You met up with your prep team and they made you strip naked so that they could look you over and make you look presentable.

After they finished they got you into your outfit for the tribute parade.

(A/N: Your outfit is whatever the male version of this would look like)

You were walking towards the chariots for the parade when you heard a catcall whistle and you knew immediately who it was.

You turned around and were met with a almost naked Finnick Odair a familiar sight as you had hooked up the year before while being mentors for the tributes.

”Hello Finnick” you said in a voice implying that you were not in the mood for his flirting.

He caught the hint and the two of you had a normal conversation. You asked how Annie and Mags were doing as you were rather fond of both of them.

He said they were doing fine considering the cicumstances. The two of you talked for a while but eventually Finnick went to try to make Katniss Everdeen uncomfortable for fun.

You climbed in to the chariot and helped Cashmere get up as she was wearing 8 inch stilettos.

After the tribute parade you are escorted to the training center with the rest of your group.

The next day training began, you went directly for the throwing knives which was your preferred weapon.

Then you were approached by Peeta Mellark, last years winner, he asked you to show him how to throw knives. You agreed to show him and you gave him some tips and tricks that you used. He then showed you how to do some simple camouflage.

You liked Peeta he was the kind of person that was hard not to like, unlike his district partner.

You and Cashmere invited Katniss to the place where they showed you how to make hammocks and it was noticable that she was a bit suspicious to be talking to career tributes.

The training days passed by and you did well on your private session but now it was time for the interviews.

When you got out on the stage you threw your arms around Caesar Flickerman as if he was your lover, which in turn got you a ”Awww” from the audience.

You turned on the waterworks, you talked about how much you will miss the capitol citizens for treating you like family and that you regret not reconciling with your parents after a fight you had before you left and not getting to say goodbye to them. It was all lies though but it was enough to fool the audience.

The audience gave you a standing ovation while you joined Cashmere standing in a line above the stage.

The rest of the tributes gave their interviews (Johanna’s was your favorite) and then Peeta during his interview told Caesar that Katniss was pregnant and all hell broke lose.

That evening you were visited by Haymitch and he told you that Peeta had wanted you as an ally and about the rebellion and about their plan to get Katniss out of the arena.

You agreed to the plan.

Before you went in to the arena you said goodbye to your escort, prep team, stylist, Gloss and Augustus.

You also said goodbye Cashmere since you knew you were on different sides in the arena and you said a silent prayer that you wouldn’t have to be the one to kill her.

You were then taken aboard the hovercraft and flown to the arena. You were then escorted to the small elevator thing that takes you the podiums in the arena.

You stood in the elevator waiting anxiously for the game to start. You also realised that you didn’t know who your other allies would be other than Katniss and Peeta.

The podium then started rising until you were inside the arena. Your eyes were blinded by the sunlight and you looked around and saw that the podioum was surrounded by water.

You saw that there were rocky spokes connected to the island where the cornucopia was located.

Then you heard a voice saying ”Let the 75th Hunger Games begin, May the odds be ever in your favor” a voice started counting down from 10 and you prepared yourself to dive in.

A canon went of as the starting signal for the games and you dove right in to the water and swam to one of the rocky spokes and climbed up on it.

You saw someone else had climbed up on it behind you but didn’t care to find out who so you tried to run but they had roughly grabbed a hold of your arm and were trying to drag you back.

You turned around and saw the male tribute from district 9. Without thinking further about it you clenched your fist and punched him in the nose. He let go of you and you started running towards the cornucopia.

You looked around and realised that you were now at a disadvantage from only being held back for a few seconds.

You reached the cornucopia and tried to sneak around it to see who was there but Finnick suddenly appeared around the corner and pointed his trident at you for a second but brought it down as soon as you made eye contact.

”Come on” he said and led you to the weapons. You picked up vest with a bunch of throwing knives attached to it and put it on.

You had put it on just in time as the man from 9 had reached the cornucopia as well. His nose was bleeding from your punch. You got a knife from the vest took aim and threw a knife at his throat, you hit just as intended.

You got an extra leg holster with throwing knives and a regular knife incase needed for close combat.

Finnick told you to stay by the supplies to guard them with Katniss while he looks for Peeta. You nodded at him as he ran off.

Katniss and you stood guard for a while until Finnick returned saying Mags had found him. You and Katniss followed him as he led you out on one of the spokes leading out from the cornucopia.

You saw movement in the water as Peeta was wrestling with a tribute trying to drown him. Finnick dived in to help Peeta, you turned to the cornucopia to check so no one would sneak up behind you.

Soon enough Peeta and Finnick were out of the water and the 5 of you made your way in to the jungle.

You all ran through the difficult jungle terrain except Mags who was carried on Finnick’s back.

After getting far enough from the cornucopia you all kneeled down for a quick rest. You heard more canons going off meaning more people had died.

”I guess were not holding hands anymore” Finnick said with a quick laugh. ”You think that’s funny?” Katniss asked with obvious hostility in her voice. You made quick eye contact with Peeta basically saying ”Fuck, they are going to be fighting”.

”Every time that canon goes of it’s music to my ears, i don’t care about any of them” Finnick answered. ”Good to hear” Katniss said pulling out a machete from her quiver. ”Wanna face the career pack alone? What would Haymitch say?” Finnick asked teasingly.

”Haymitch isn’t here” Katniss stated and there was silence for a moment until Peeta said ”Let’s keep moving” and you all got up and continued moving through the jungle.

Peeta walked in front using the machete to cut plants and vines out of the way, Finnick was behind him carrying Mags, you were behind Finnick and Katniss was behind you.

You noticed Katniss stopping behind you as you turned to see if anything was wrong she yelled ”Peeta! NO!” and right behind you there was a bang and you were knocked to the ground by Peeta flying backwards.

You sat up and saw Katniss crawling over to Peeta repeating his name slowly as he lay motionless on the ground. You then heard her say in a panicy voice ”He’s not breathing”, Finnick ran over to him and started doing mouth to mouth resuscitation. You crawled over to see what was happening.

After a while he woke up again and you all started to move slowly but Katniss was now in the lead, she threw small rocks at the barrier so that you could navigate how close you were to it.

Katniss told the 4 of you to wait while she climbed up a tree to see your location and if she could find fresh water. When she got down she told you that you were on the edge of the arena and that she couldn’t find any water.

Finnick suggested that you should set up camp and sleep, he said he could take first watch to guard the others to which Katniss disagreed which in turn made Finnick upset since he literally saved Peeta.

Honestly you were tired of both of them so you rolled your eyes and walked away to find somewhere decent to sleep.

You found a spot close to Mags where you laid down and shut your eyes but that didn’t last long as you heard the anthem playing and you looked up and saw the faces of the fallen tributes.

When you saw the face of the man from district 9 you felt ashamed. You wondered if he had a lover or children at home who had to watch him bleed to death from a knife to the throat.

You turned around so you lay on your other side and your y/c/e met with Mags kind eyes and she gave you a small smile as if she had read you mind which you returned shyly.

(A/N: I had to stop a second just for some Mags appreciation because she’s one of my favorite characters in the hunger games universe.)

You closed your eyes again trying to sleep but you then heard something hit the ground you sat up and looked to Katniss and Finnick who had gone to inspect the noise.

It turned out to be a sponsor gift, you stood up and walked over to them. Katniss held a small silvery thing. ”What is it?” Finnick asked. ”It’s from Haymitch…… I think it’s a spile” Katniss answered.

”A what?” Both you and Finnick asked as Katniss stood up and found a tree and started banging on the spile with a rock hitting it in to the tree.

You all waited for a moment but soon water started trickling down from the spile. Katniss caught some in her mouth and told the others to get some, first Peeta got some, then Finnick and the you.

You were on you knees infront of the spile, you got a mouthful of water. Finnick walked up beside you with a small smile and said ”As much as i like seeing you on your knees, can you move over a little? I need some more water for Mags”. You laughed a little and moved aside.

”Seems like someone has gotten his wittiness back” you said and Finnick gave a small laugh and started filling a leaf he had shaped like a bowl for Mags.

After that you went to your previous resting place and laid down to sleep again. You were woken up at some point by what sounded like a gong and the sound of lightning but you managed to get back to sleep.

You were woken up by the sound of Katniss screaming, you quickly got up and pulled out your close combat knife. You saw no one but Katniss, she was laying on the ground whimpering and there was a closing in behind her.

”Run! Run! The fog is poisonus” she yelled you helped Mags get up as Finnick crouched down to get her up on his back. When she was safely up you started running following Katniss and Peeta.

You passed Katniss and Peeta as being quick was sort of your specialty.

It was hard to know where to go as almost everywhere you turned the fog seemed to be coming closer. You heard falling behind you and saw that Katniss had fallen over but Peeta had helped her up. Then a little bit after that Peeta fell over and Katniss helped him up, you turned around to come to their aid but you heard Finnick screaming and saw him falling over.

You ran to Finnick to help him get up but by the time you got there he was already up and he had gotten Mags back up on his back. You grabbed him by the arm and helped him away from the fog. You and Finnick saw that Peeta had fallen over once again from exposure to the fog.

You and Finnick ran to him and Katniss. ”I can’t carry him, Peeta please” she said with tear stained eyes. You tried to help carry Peeta but it was no use you weren’t strong enough.

Behind you heard Finnick saying ”Mags? Mags?” You turned around and saw Mags walking right into the fog (like the boss she is).

(R.I.P Queen, both the actress and character)

”MAGS!” Finnick screamed and the came the sound of canon. You grabbed Finnick by the arm and Katniss told him that we need to leave.

Finnick helped pick up Peeta as you picked up Peeta’s machete and started cutting away plants that were in the way. The others staggerd away from the fog, you ran to Katniss side to try help her keep up.

You feel the fog touching you back as immense pain shoot through you whole body and then the 4 of you fell… not because the fog though but because there was a huge drop that you hadn’t noticed.

When you land you just lay on the ground twitching and flinching from the pain.

After a while you hear Katniss saying ”The water, the water helps”. You tried to get up but you body was like on lockdown. You hear them helping Finnick into the water, Finnick tries to let out a scream but gets water in his mouth.

Peeta comes to you and drags you up into a sitting positon saying ”Come on” as if he’s talking to a child but it was strangely comforting. He then pulls you into the pond making you let out a scream from a sudden sharp pain but the pain slowly starts to fade away.

The group takes a little brake now to rest and you can’t help but to whisper a little ”thank you” to Mags.

You then hear Katniss saying to Finnick ”I’m sorry about Mags”. Finnick answered by saying ”She was never gonna make it….so”.

Finnick then turned his attention to something behind Katniss, you turned around and saw some sort of monkey like creature staring at you, whatever they were they didn’t look friendly so you pulled out your combat knife in one hand and a throwing one in the other.

All 4 of you stood in the little pond surrounded by the mutts, you were all waiting for one to attack. ”Get to the beach” Katniss said and turned towards a path that lead towards the cornucopia but the mutts started looking more aggressive.

One tried to jump at Katniss but was cut down by Peeta which made more start to attack.

You weren’t really that well equipped to deal with animals but you tried your best. A mutt tried to jump at you but you kicked it in the face and threw a knife at it.

Another one ran towards you so threw a knife at it’s arm making it shriek in pain and you ran over and stabbed it with the combat knife.

”We need to get to the beach” Peeta said as he and Katniss started moving in the beaches directon, you started following him and Katniss and made sure Finnick was keeping up.

You made you way through the difficult terrain while trying to avoid the mutts. You did your best to hit then with your knives but the didn’t pack enough of a punch to kill them unless they were hit in sensitive areas.

You were tackled by a mutt which made you fall to the ground. It crawled onto you about to maul your face off but you stabbed it in the stomach and twisted the knife.

You threw it’s dead body off of you and got up, you saw Katniss and Peeta carrying someones body to the beach, you turned your head back and saw Finnick fending of the mutts. Your mind raced for a second if Finnick is there and Peeta and Katniss are fine the who’s body was that.

You ran over to Finnick who was slowly making his way to the beach backwards with the mutts following him, only held back by his trident. You stood by his side swinging your blade at any mutt that comes to near you two.

Finnick then whispered to you ”At my signal grab my hand”, you nodded.

”Now” he said and you grabbed his hand and the two of you started sprinting towards the beach while the mutts chased yoy, when you got near enough you and Finnick dove on to the beach sand.

You and Finnick quickly got up and pointed your weapons at the mutts that where now on the edge of the jungle where the beach began. You then heard a canon going off and the mutts then started making their way into the jungle once more.

You put you knife in the holster at your leg and then turned to Finnick. You threw your arms around him in a hug, Finnick put his big arms around and you leaned you head against the older males shoulder.

It was hard putting a label on yours and Finnick’s relationship. You had met during part of your victory tour in district 4, you were attending a dinner in your honor.

You had excused yourself to go to the public bathroom during the dinner. You had no need to actually use the bathroom. You just needed to get away from the people who had celebrated the fact that you had killed people.

You started having a bit of a nervous breakdown in the bathroom, you were crying, splashing water in your face trying to calm down but you felt like you needed to scream.

One of the toilet stalls had opened and Finnick steped out. He went to the sink to wash his hands and while doing so he noticed your red eyes and trembling hands and he asked if you were okay.

And you spilled everything to him and told him how you were feeling, he put an arm around you, he told you he somtimes felt like that as well and told you how he usually copes with it.

He had told you that if you didn’t want to finish the dinner he could go out and tell everyone you weren’t feeling well and have you escorted back to the train.

But you said you wanted to try to get through the dinner as long as he was there to help you. He agreed to be there with you and you managed to get through the whole thing.

After that Finnick was basically your bestie and you guys would come to each other for emotional support.

And last year during the 74th hunger games while you both were in the capitol, you had been hanging out at his apartment the capitol give the victors while they visit for the games.

While hanging out things got a bit steamy between the two of you and you ended up hooking up, the day after the two of you kinda acted like it never happened and things got a bit awkward between you and him.

But being back in to the arena had stirred up feelings for him you had buried. While in the arena most people will latch onto whatever makes them feel safe and Finnick made you feel safe.

You finally let go of Finnick and you noticed a hover craft picking up the body Peeta and Katniss had taken in to the water. Finnick told you he was gonna go try to catch some fish food, you nodded at this and walked over to Katniss and Peeta.

”Who body was it they picked up?” you asked. ”The female morphling” Peeta answered in a saddend voice. You sat down in the sand, the 4 of you had almost died 3 times (+ 1 for Peeta) in less than 24 hours and it was exhausting.

Finnick had managed to catch a fish and found some oysters that you were now eating. Peeta found a pearl and gave it to Katniss.

You then heard a scream coming from the jungle, ”That’s new” Peeta said and you heard a thundering noise.

Out of the jungle came a huge wave of water and you heard a canon going off. The wave was so big it washed up on the beach.

You then saw a hover craft lifting away the body.

After it had flown away you heard Katniss say ”Someone is hear”. You immediately looked in the direction Katniss had been looking and saw another tribute on the beach and two other tributes emerging from the jungle, you backed up slowly.

”Johanna?” Finnick whispered and ran out of hiding towards Johanna shouting her name, ”Finnick!” she yelled back and the two embraced each other. You made your way towards them and waved Johanna.

Johanna told the 4 of you how she, Wiress, Beetee and Blight, her district partner, had been wandering the jungle when it had started raining blood on them to the point where they could barely see and were choking on it. Then blight had hit the forcefield and passed away.

Wiress was stumbling around murmering the words ”Tick-tock” to herself, Wiress tried to get Johanna’s attention but she ignored her.

”What’s wrong with her?” Katniss asked referring to Wiress. ”She’s in shock, dehydration isn’t helping” Beetee answered and the asked ”You have fresh water?”

”We can get some” Katniss answered as Johanna had started getting fed up with Wiress saying ”Tick-Tock” to her. ”Listen stop it!” Johanna said loudly while grabbing a hold of Wiress.

”Hey! Get of her” Katniss yelled as Wiress fell to the ground. Katniss stromed passed you and started fighting with Johanna. ”Hey!, what are you doing” Johanna asked as Katniss got up in her face but before things could escalate Peeta and Finnick had pulled them apart.

You got the spile and hit it in to a tree so that the others could get freshwater. You took a big leaf and shaped it like a bowl and got some water for Beetee who was working with some sort of wire. Katniss and Wiress then came excitedly and said that the arena was a clock with different obstacles every hour.

You all decided to go to the cornucopia to stock up on weapons, you had decided to get something more lethal than just knives just in case something comes up.

Katniss was trying to go through what happens during every hour that we know off. When you arrived at the Cornucopia you refilled your knife supply and picked up a nice sword. The others were drawing up a map of the zones and the drew the threats we knew about tsunami, lightning, blood rain, fog and mutts.

Then came a loud gasp from Wiress who was being stabbed in the back by the male tribute from district 10 (you know since your here instaed of Gloss). Katniss was quick to shoot an arrow hitting him right in the chest killing him almost instantly.

Another figure had appeared it was Cashmere she had a knife in her hand. She was on her way to attack Katniss but Johanna pushed her out of the way and plunged her axe right in Cashmere’s chest.

Right as she hit the ground there came clang of metal against metal and you saw Brutus attacking Finnick and Peeta. Enobaria then suddenly appears and throws a knife at Finnick cutting his arm. You quickly draw a knife throwing at Enobaria cutting her shoulder.

Enobaria and Brutus start running away from the cornucopia. You, Katniss and Johanna run to follow them but as you do the island the cornucopia is located on starts spining and you all fall to the ground.

You take out a knife in one hand and stab it in to the ground to try to keep you from sliding of the island, you manage to get a good grip with your hand as well.

You hear struggling behind you and see Johanna struggling to keep a hold of Katniss’ hand, she lost her grip and Katniss fell into the raging water.

The island then stopped spining and Katniss climbed up on one of the spokes and started coughing up water. Johanna and Peeta checked that she was okay.

She was fine and your group left the island and went back to the beach, you all sat down on the beach to stratergize. Other than the group there was 3 people left in the games Chaff, Brutus and Enobaria.

They were all outnumbred so they probably won’t try to attack us. Johanna suggested that we hunt them down but then you heard a scream ”Ahhh!!! Katniss,Help me!!!” which made Katniss scream in return ”Prim!!! Prim!!!” as she ran into the jungle.

You all ran to follow her Finnick was in front you were right behind him but then you hit something almost like when you run in to a glass door, it was an invisible forcefield. ”Y/n!Are you okay?” You heard Peeta saying as you sat up.

”Yeah” you said as he helped you up. You tried to touch the forcefield, it was as solid as a brick wall. Soon Katniss and Finnick came running back with a bunch of birds following them but they couldn’t get through the forcefield and were stuck on the other side.

You had to wait an hour until the birds flow away and the forcefield disappeared. You ran over to Finnick to check on him. ”Are you okay? You asked putting a hand on his shoulder. ”Yeah, i’m fine” he said weakly.

You the heard Johanna say something about ”Riots in the damn capitol” she then yelled ”Hey! How does that sound Snow! What if we.. What if we set your backyard on fire?! You know you can’t put everybody in here!!!”. You were all looking at Johanna speechless at her open disrespect of President Snow.

”What?… they can’t hurt me, there’s no one left that i love” Johanna said and walked away to get Katniss some water. That left you feeling bad for Johanna, sure she may be a bit rude at times but she’s nowhere near as bad as some people make her out to be.

You helped Finnick stand up and your group made their way back to the beach once more. Finnick went and sat down in the shallow part of the water. You were torn whether you should go to him or not, maybe he wanted to be alone.

But then you remembered how he had been there for you during your victory tour, so you went out into the water and sat down beside him. ”Did you hear her?” You asked referring to Annie.

Finnick gave you a small nod. You didn’t know what more to say, but you didn’t need to cause Finnick started speaking ”I also heard you”. You gave him a questioning look ”Really?”

”Yeah, even though in knew you were there right infront of me, it was still torture to have to hear you screaming my name for help, I had to open my eyes just to check that you were okay” Finnick said turning his attention from the water to you. You grabbed his hand gently and said ”I’m okay, thanks to you”. You and Finnick’s heads were leaning close to eachother but then came a shout ”Finnick!” ”Y/n” it was Johanna she waved for you to come over.

You and Finnick got up and walked over to the others and the group made a plan to use the wire Beetee had gotten to hopefully electrecute the careers.

A few hours went by and the sun started to go down. You were sitting in the wet sand watching Finnick swinging around his trident lightly. Then you heard the noise of something hitting the ground near you, you turned around.

A little bit inside the jungle you saw a silver capsule, you went into the junge and got it. You opened it and knew immediately what it was. You turned to the others and yelled at them to come over. You showed them that you had gotten bread from district 1.

You gave everyone their fair share of the bread, ”District 1 is known for using cinnamon and huckleberries in their bread” you informed them though the only one who actually seemed to care what your district used in their bread was Peeta.

Then it was time to leave to go to the lightning tree and once again you were making your way through the thick jungle terrain.

Then you heard the anthem playing and you looked up in the sky to see the pictures of the fallen tributes. You felt a bit sad when you saw Cashmere up there and realised even if you got out of the arena Gloss would kill you.

But it felt worse seeing Wiress and Mags up there. They had both been very kind people and they shouldn’t have been in here in the first place. You felt something inside you almost as if it was catching fire (A/N:😉) a new hatred for the capitol.

You continued moving until you reached the lightning tree and Beetee started doing his thing and wrapping the tree with the bronze colored wire. He then told you, Katniss and Johanna to go with the spool of wire to the beach, throw it into the water and go to the tree in the 2 o’clock sector.

”I’m gonna go with them as a guard” Peeta said probably not wanting to leave Katniss. ”Nonono, your staying here to protect me… and the tree”. Beetee opposed. ”No i need to go with her” Peeta said stubbornly.

”There are two careers out there, i need two guards” Beetee said. ”Finnick can protect just fine on his own” Peeta said and you and Finnick gave eachother a knowing look. Then Katniss butted in saying ”Yeah, why can’t Finnick, Y/n and Johanna stay with you and Peet and I will take the chord”.

”You all agreed to keep me alive till midnight, correct?” Beetee asked in a annoyed tone. ”It’s his plan we all agreed to it” Johanna said clearly starting to get annoyed as well. ”Is there a problem here?” Finnick asked. ”Excellent question” Beetee said as you were all staring down Peeta and Katniss.

”No, there’s no problem” Katniss said in a defeated manner and walked over to Peeta and gave him a kiss. After they finished you said ”Good idea” and walked over to Finnick and kissed him, you could feel him kiss back and put his arms around your waist.

After you pulled away you said with a weak smile ”You know just incase we never see eachother again”. ”Alright, let’s go” Johanna said. You walked over to her and put an arm around her shoulder saying jokingly ”Incase your feeling left out i can give you a quick kiss too”, Johanna only rolled her eyes but let out a small chuckle.

You, Johanna and Katniss made your way to the beach once more the same way you came. After a while of walking Johanna said ”Come on, i wanna put as much distance between me and this beach as possible, frying is not how i wanna go” but then came another sound from the spool it had stopped putting out wire.

”There’s something…” Katniss said and looked in the direction the wire came from but saw nothing then something pulled the wire and cut it off. Katniss immediately threw aside the spool and pulled out an arrow but Johanna grabbed the spool and hit her over the head with it.

You were kinda lost on what to do but Johanna got you to kneel down beside her and took your combat knife and started cutting up Katniss’ arm open, then it dawned on you the arm with the tracker, the plan to get Katniss out was set into motion.

You grabbed Katniss arm so that she wouldn’t try to fight it, Johanna smeared blood on Katniss’ throat to make her look like she was dying. ”Stay down” she whispered to Katniss and sat up and threw her axe against Brutus and Enobaria who were on their way. ”Come on” Johanna said to you and you followed her as you ran with careers chasing you.

It was hard to keep up with Johanna in this terrain. You then felt a sudden sharp pain in your side and saw that you had gotten a cut that was now bleeding, you guessed that Enobaria must have thrown a knife. You looked up to see where Johanna had gone but she must not have noticed you slowing down because you couldn’t see her.

You turned around and saw that only Enobaria was on your trail now. You drew your sword just in time to deflect another knife coming your way, she drew her sword as well.

The sound of clashing swords came as she made a slash at you which you blocked. You went back and forward with her for a while slashing, stabbing, cutting but neither managed to kill the other.

Enobaria then made stab at your hand cutting it open so that blood started spilling out, you tried to fight with one hand but she easily disarmed you. You turned around and started running since there wasn’t much else you could do.

You managed to put some fair distance between you and her, not enough to get rid of her but enough so you could draw a knife and throw it at the hand she kept her sword in which caused her to drop it but that didn’t stop her as she drew a knife from her vest.

You did the same bracing yourself for her. The two of you pounced at eachother like tigers, colliding in the air and laying on the ground wrestling for dominance, she had gotten on top of you and tried to stab you but you grabbed the hand she kept her knife in and used your other hand to grab her hair.

You pulled it with all your strength and managed to roll over so that you were on top of her, you held her down and punched her across the face. She still managed to grab you and roll you over so she was on top of you again and she the showed you her fang like teeth.

She was starting to lean down probably about to rip your throat out with her bare teeth but something had distracted her, you seized your moment and noticed you were right beside a steep slope. So with all the power in your body you grabbed a hold of her and threw her off of you and down the slope.

You got up quickly and looked at what had distracted her and saw that it was a blue glowing wire pointing right up into the sky or what used to be the sky but was now just a gray dome.

Your brain put some kind of scenario together that this was part of the plan so you started making you way towards the source of the glowing wire but it was hard you were still bleeding and you were exhausted from your fight with Enobaria.

You staggerd towards the lightning tree but your body couldn’t take anymore and you collapsed, you looked up at the gray dome and saw that it was starting to fall apart. That made you smile and you thought to yourself ”Thank you, Mockingjay” and then it faded to black.

(A/N: Don’t worry you didn’t die at the end, but please give this a like or reblog it took like a lot of time write and i really tried my best, there might be some grammatical errors in there but deal with it)

[glitteryglitter]

3+5 (Foxface x fem! reader)

𝙰𝙽: This has two endings so you get to choose which one you want! The first one is all angst and pining, the other one is kind of fluffy. I know that I love a cheerful ending, but not everyone does. 

Also, the reader is from district 3. 

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:  slight angst, violence, and death

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: Foxface x fem! reader

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 3,644

                                                ๑*˚🍓˚*๑

No, no, no. this couldn't be happening. It just couldn't

You stared in horror as your friend and ally, Foxface from district 5 emerged in a horrific outfit on a chariot.

Surprisingly, your feeling of absolute desolation was not from Foxface's outfit or even your own.

Both of which resembled something the Tin Man would wear if he'd donned couture.

Instead, it was a realization.

You would have to kill her.

Allow me to explain why!

You had, like countless others from district 3 in years past had been selected to enter in The Hunger Games and a few days ago, you'd formally met a new friend.

You'd sworn you would have no allies but unfortunately, your friendly personality and cheerful attitude made that a virtually impossible feat.

An extreme problem that as we all know, only results in heartbreak after one's allies are killed.

This certain person, A sly girl from district 5 who was absolutely amazing in every way was someone who you couldn't stop thinking of.

Stealthy, kind, and absolutely, mind-bogglingly good at identifying plants. She was also so smart, with gorgeous amber eyes that always seemed to take your breath away.

Wait-what? Since when did you think about her eyes? You brushed it off.

After all, you had bigger problems and worries.

You smiled placidly and waved to the crowds, all the while stewing over your predicament.

                                                         ๑🍓๑

You looked over your shoulder at Foxface.

"Are you okay?"

You knew she had been nervous about this, you didn't blame her. You were too.

It was incredibly stressful and you had seen what the others could do.

Even you felt like you didn't stand a chance.

she nodded and smiled at you which for some unknown reason caused your heart to flutter.

Waves of worries crashed through your mind.

What would you do if you were the only two who remained? what would you do if she died?

What would you do in general? You knew you couldn't kill, Finch vowed not to, and you knew there were careers trained to do exactly that.

You were reminded of the gravity of the situation as even more tributes joined the parade.

Only one would live.

Your surroundings swirled in front of your eyes.

Your knees felt like jelly, you would have toppled over if it wasn't for your district partner who had grabbed you before you fell.

Y/n are you okay? The rather mousy-looking boy murmured as he firmly held on to your wrist.

"Yes, I'm fine." You smiled appreciatively. You'd be sad to see him go.

Your mind went blank once more as the parade continued.

Finch's mind was still racing though.

Through the next few days, your friendship grew and you became inseparable.

She couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed.

Every time you smiled at her, she felt a warmth in her chest.

She told herself it was the joy of a true friendship.

She wasn't far off.

It was in fact, at lunch, the day before the actual games that she realized what was happening.

                                                         ๑🍓๑

Foxface had just sat down at a table, you flopped down beside her and promptly started crying into your bowl of salad.

As she pulled you into a hallway, the careers looked at one another, sharing the same thought; What was wrong?

Of course, they all knew exactly what was wrong, they were going to be put in a fight to the death the very next day, but no one really felt like saying it.

"Y/n what's wrong? You can tell me anything, I promise."

You sniffed a few times and shook your head. "It's okay, I'm fine. I know I'm probably one of the least prepared people here and I don't stand a chance. I guess I'm just a little bit nervous for tomorrow."

That may have been the biggest understatement of the century.

At the moment, you'd rather eat an entire bag of coffee grounds than go into the games, but unfortunately, it wasn't an option.

"No, y/n, trust me when I say you're prepared. Your odds are fair, you're no career, and you're not great with weapons, I'll be honest, but they're still decent. Your reputation amongst the capitol people is better than ever. That means more sponsors. You will. Be. Okay. I know it."

"But- what about you? I don't know what I'd do if you died, you’re one of the few people that I know I can trust, Finch. I can't have you die. You should be the one who wins. not me."

You replied between sniffles.

It was at that moment that Finch realized something.

As she looked into your puffy, bloodshot eyes she felt the warm feeling in her chest from earlier return.

She had a crush.

Not just a little one either.

A big painful crush that would most likely end in heartbreak, but she didn't care.

She decided then and there to do her best and ensure you won.

"We should wait and see, they might change the rules this year. You never know what they'll throw at us. Perhaps there could be two victors!"

It broke her heart to see the glimmer of hope in your eyes.

She knew it was probably a lie, but if that's what it took to make you content, that's what she would do.

You threw your arms around her "Thank you so much, this means a lot." She awkwardly patted you on the back, not quite used to being hugged, let alone by the very person she was hopelessly crushing on. "Now, let's get back to lunch, ally,"

You linked arms and strolled back into the lunchroom, heads held high, filled with renewed, albeit slightly false hope.

                                                         ๑🍓๑

It was the day of the games. You'd all been placed in your tubes.

Foxface looked over, only to see you positively shaking.

She didn't blame you, half the tributes were.

The countdown began.

You waved and offered her a tentative smile.

Ten seconds to go...

She smiled back.

nine...eight... seven...six...five...She rehearsed the plan in her head.

four...three...two...one...

Chaos ensued.

Foxface bolted. You, in the meantime, de-activated several landmines and pocketed them for future use.

Being from District 3 did have its advantages.

Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all!

You'd spoken too soon.

You were thrown out of your small revere by someone grabbing the collar of your shirt.

You whipped your head around as best you could and caught a glimpse of blond hair.

Cato. Oh no- you attempted to kick him in the shin but missed.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the best plan of action.

He pushed you against a trunk of a tree and held his sword to your throat.

A thin line of blood appeared.

He didn't look to be enjoying himself, but he also didn't look like he had any plans to stop your potential decapitation.

Foxface ran through the mess, tributes were being attacked, running, dying, and just overall not having a great first day.

She saw you and ran, only barely avoiding a landmine.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at Cato.

He turned to meet the piercing gaze of your savior.

If looks could kill...He would have fallen over before you could say "career"

Fortunately, this gave you enough time to wriggle out of his arms and kick him in the knees again.

This time, your foot actually made contact with his knee and he fell.

Foxface grabbed his sword and hit him over the head with the hilt. His eyes closed.

"Is he...you know... dead?" You asked, cautiously poking his head with a stick.

"No, probably just stunned. We can leave him, someone else will find him. Let's go, before he wakes up."

You pulled each other through the explosives.

Finally, after what felt like ages the two of you reached relative safety.

                                                         ๑🍓๑

It was gradually getting darker and you decided you'd be better off sleeping.

You placed some small landmines you'd deactivated earlier in front of the cave to discourage any unfortunate intruders and lay down.

Foxface lay down and passed you a bit of bread from her backpack.

While you ate, the two of you drafted out a plan for the next few days and what it would include.

It was decided that you'd take shifts and alternate between who guarded the cave and who got materials, at night, you'd place a landmine outside so if any unwanted visitors attempted to enter...well..you didn't want to think about that.

Finally, after some time, you felt your eyelids get quite heavy.

You lay down on the cave floor, it wasn't really as bad as you'd thought.

The moss was soft and with Foxface nearby, you felt safe.

She lay down beside you and soon, you had both drifted off to sleep.

                                                         ๑🍓๑

You woke up with a start.

It was still dark outside.

The sun hadn't quite risen yet and the stars were still visible in the sky.

Then you felt an arm wrap around your waist.

Foxface had thrown her arm around you in her sleep.

You felt your face heat up.

She didn't seem like the type to do this and you were sure if she woke up, she surely wouldn't speak to you ever again.

She would be positively fuming...

Voices, barely distinguishable from the birds in the trees were heard in the distance.

"Wazzamatter?" Finch mumbled, still half asleep, blinking sleepily, oblivious to the fact that her arm was still around your waist. 

Your heart melted.

"Nothing, I thought I heard something, but it was just a squirrel."

"We should probably get started, we'll need supplies and it would be better to stay inside during the day. "

You nodded. This would give you time to think about what had happened that morning. 

You carefully extracted yourself from her grasp and prepared for the day ahead 

As Foxface left, you noticed a small package drift from the sky in a parachute.

Your heart leaped. A sponsor! Foxface was right, they would be of use!

Oh, you could just kiss her right now you were so happy!

Wait- what? She's your best friend! What are you thinking Y/n! You don't kiss your best friend.

You opened it to see bandages, alcohol, and a note.

You stared at the note. "For the couple from 3 and 5, stay safe! -a friend in the capitol"

Your eyes went wide.

Did they think that you liked each other?

Was there a possibility that you liked her?

You sat down abruptly as you realized, Yes. Yes you did.

You shook your head. Now was not the time for crushing!

While you cleaned, you thought about the morning.

You were sure it was just a coincidence, it was probably just nothing. But still- what if she felt the same?

You remembered the note and tried to suppressed the small twinge of hope that it provided.

It was probably nothing.

They must just feel sorry for you.

Unrequited love was definitely a tragedy that the capitol would love.

You continued to mull this over until you heard a rustling in the leaves.

You cautiously poked your head out, only to see Foxface looking quite wounded sitting in the cave's entrance.

You immediately rushed to her side.

"I stole some food from the district four boy and he noticed. Stabbed me with his trident. I don't think it's infected yet, but I don't think I can walk normally."

You looked to the side where your package had landed and grabbed a bottle of alcohol.

As Foxface coached you through bandaging her leg, you only felt your feelings towards her grow. it really was remarkable.

You hoped you'd manage to get through the games.

Together.

                                                         ๑🍓๑

As the days progressed, you reached a sort of routine and it became almost second nature.

That was of course until the announcement of a feast was made.

You and Finch had made a plan. She'd get materials, you would make sure everything was clear and distract if necessary.

That's when you heard a rustling in the bushes.

The female tribute from District 12, Katniss was crouched in the shrubbery with an arrow pointed directly at you.

You bolted.

You weren't sure where you'd go but as long as Foxface was okay and you weren't shot, you were pretty sure it was the right place.

You felt an arrow graze your leg and you turned around only to have Katniss smack into you.

You tried your best to reason with her while she pinned you down.

She grabbed an arrow from her quiver that would surely end up in your heart.

At that moment, Foxface ran past, and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Go, I'll be okay!"

She opened her mouth to say something, but you cut her off.

"Please! I promise I'll come back, just get to safety!" you cried, sounding rather choked.

Come on, Y/n you can do this. Almost everyone else has.

"I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this," you whispered.

Katniss's eyes went wide as you shakily held a knife to her throat.

You weren't sure how you felt about this.

"Goodbye, Katniss. Sweet dreams." you cooed.

Before you could change your mind, you sliced the knife through her neck, got up, and ran into the woods, still getting used to the feeling of a weapon in your hands.

A cannon could be heard in the distance.

                                                         ๑🍓๑

You sat down heavily in shock. You had just done the unimaginable.

You'd killed a tribute.

Foxface plopped down beside you.

"Did you get her?" she asked, her voice sounding just as exhausted and hollow as the both of you felt.

"Yes, I did."

The reality of what you'd done hit you.

Of course, you'd experienced it, but it was a whole different thing to actually admit it.

To say that you'd killed someone and know that there would be no consequences except the moral ones.

The ones that stayed in your mind and haunted you for years to come.

If they did come that is.

"What happened to the others?"

"They killed each other off." She took a few berries out of the backpack that she'd managed to grab at the feast.

What are those?

She gave you a look. "Take a guess"

Your eyes widened.

                                                   ๑*˚🍓˚*๑

Ending 1 (Angst and death!)

"Foxface, no, please don't do this," you begged

She shook her head. "You heard the rules, y/n there can only be one victor now. It should be you. there's no use pretending like there is another way out for both of us."

She took a handful of berries from her backpack and cradled them in her hands, thinking over her decision.

"But you promised-"

Your words brought her back to the lunch at the training center.

It felt like years ago, but it had only been a few days.

That was when it hit her.

She'd never told you her feelings. The girl she liked- no- loved would never know.

As she thought, a terrible idea came into your mind.

You knew it wouldn't end well but alas, you had been well aware of it from the start.

Finally, you grabbed a handful of berries from Foxface's hand making sure to scatter the rest far away. If one of you had to be a victor, it was going to be her.

You would make sure of it.

“What are you doing Y/n?!” she gasped.

It was too late. You'd already swallowed the berries.

She cradled you in her arms, begging you to stay alive a few moments more.

"Foxface, I wish I told you this earlier, I know you don't feel the same, but at this point, I just need to let you know. You have been a true friend and I couldn't have wished for a better ally. I should have told you this sooner, I love you. With all my heart. I really do and not even death can change that." You rambled. The berries making your mind foggier by the minute.

"Y/n I- I do feel the same. You mean so much to me and if I had only known-"

With that, you kissed her cheek, careful to get none of the night lock near her mouth.

"Goodbye Finch, I love you"

"-If I had known, I would have told you that I loved you too. We would have gone on dates, had a future together, and I know it doesn't seem likely, but we would have made it work, if only-"

her voice trailed off as you went limp in her arms.

A cannon went off.

"if I'd only seen it sooner-" she trailed off quietly.

A loud voice proclaimed Finch of District 5 the winner of the 54th Hunger Games yet she didn’t seem to hear a thing

In fact, she didn't react in the slightest.

Foxface stared at your lifeless body. The color still draining from your cheeks.

Even though you were dead, the night lock berries still staining your lips a deep navy, you had to be the most gorgeous girl she'd ever laid eyes on.

"Goodbye, y/n I love you too," she said, her voice slightly choked with tears she refused to let fall.

She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't give the capitol the satisfaction of seeing her distress.

She would later go on to interviews, refusing to say more than a few grief and anger-filled sentences to let the capitol know exactly how she felt about everything.

They had killed her girlfriend and she would make sure they knew what they'd done.

                                                   ๑*˚🍓˚*๑

Ending 2 (less sad! Slight angst and swearing, but no death! )

"Foxface, why are you doing this? I should be the one to go, not you."

"No y/n I can't let you. "

"But Finch-"

"Why y/n? Tell me why you should die. You are brave, sweet, and kind. Hell, you even apologized to Katniss before slitting her throat. I should be the one to die. Not! You!"

She was yelling now, but you needed to argue your case.

You had to stifle a hollow laugh. This was the most comically dark and strange situation imaginable. Arguing with your crush about which one of you should die.

"But why? I know you said that I should stay alive, but you keep forgetting about yourself. You have a family to go home to as well. They love you, they care, and they miss you! Plus, you taught me the bravery that you claim I have!"

"You want to know why y/n? It's because I love you. A lot. If you died, I don't know what I would do. " Foxface clapped a hand over her mouth.

"You love me? Like, love me?" You blinked numbly. 

She sighed. "That sounded awful, I'm sorry for arguing. I know I shouldn't have said it, but you’ve always stayed by my side. You never failed to see my value. You even convinced me that having a 5 in training didn't make me weak."

"It doesn't though!" You remarked.

 "Look at where we are now! The last two tributes. We would be out of this mess too if we just had some way to get out together."

Both of you looked at the ground where the berries lay scattered, looked at each other, and nodded with the same idea in your heads.

Each of you picked up some berries and took a deep breath.

"Foxface, I love you too. I mean it. This is the worst possible situation to ever tell someone this, but it's true."

With that, she kissed you gently. 

"So it's settled then?"

"I think so."

"Goodbye Y/n."

"Goodbye, Foxface."

"Okay Y/n you've got this," You told yourself.

3...

2...

1...

"WAIT STOP!" A loud voice shrieked.

You and Foxface both looked up, the poisonous berries inches away from your mouths

"THERE HAS BEEN ONE MORE CHANGE OF RULES"

You stared at each other in confusion.

"CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR FIRST EVER TWO VICTORS, Y/N FROM DISTRICT 3 AND FINCH FROM DISTRICT 5! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION! GOODBYE!"

~several days later~

The Capitol was completely taken with the first couple to win the games.

Upon being interviewed, Foxface's response was "We're a team. We always were and always will be," and you couldn't agree more.

                                                   ๑*˚🍓˚*๑ 

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA HUNGER GAMES AU:

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the books/films) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, murder, human experimentation, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy AND The Hunger Games, this will be fine for you.)

(Katniss) Allison doesn’t want to be here, but she wasn’t just gonna let Ray be taken from her by a stupid punishment meant for her great-grandparents. She resolves to win the Games for Ray, so she can make it back to him and they can start their lives together in a better place. But when she wins, her life is changed in ways she never could’ve anticipated.

(Peeta) Luther won a few years ago. He’s Allison’s age, but lives up in Victor’s Village, hiding from the rest of the District. She’s the only one who’s seen him in years, as she brings him food and supplies from town as one of her jobs. She’s fallen in love with him, and he with her, and when she goes to the Games, Luther begins to work with Ray to find and aid the rebellion, hoping to bring her home alive.

(Gale) Ray has understood the tragedy of the Games far better than most others since he was very little. He was chosen when he was twelve, but his sister volunteered for him and died in the last rounds of the Games. He’s been dreaming of running away ever since, writing his pamphlets and letters in hopes of stirring up a revolution, and when Luther approaches him for help, he thinks it might just finally work. He just hopes he doesn’t lose Allison, who he’s been planning on marrying since the day he met her, now that she’s volunteered for him too. Too many people love him, he thinks, and too much.

(Rue) Claire is a young girl Allison makes friends with during her Games, taking on a motherly role to her. Claire is struck down by another tribute, Patrick, and Allison killed him, but not before Claire is already too far gone. Allison holds her as she dies and joins the revolution, eventually, in her name.

(Prim) Vanya fell in love with Sissy a long time ago. Her husband died in the coal mines, and Vanya has been a nanny and second mother to her adopted son Harlan ever since. When Harlan is chosen, Vanya volunteers in his place, knowing she’ll die. Imagine her surprise when Allison saves her with a scheme about sisterly love.

(Johanna) Lila was one of the younger victors, known for seeming meek and eventually murdering over half her fellow tributes to win. She went mad with grief and rage after the Games, and only Diego, her beloved brother who she volunteered for, could calm her. Eudora is her lover, though they keep it exceptionally quiet, and she’s incredibly close with Five, though they’ll never be self-sacrificial for one another, as it breaks their agreement to respect each other as warriors. Lila’s ready to murder Reginald for what he did to her family - but first she wants to murder the Handler, who’s kept her on a leash for years by threatening Diego’s life.

(Finnick) Eudora is a victor, and the capital’s darling. She’s quite daring and charming, and seeks to help and mentor every tribute she can, not just those from her District. She, Diego, and Lila, a victor she mentored and later her lover, were childhood friends and were all possible contenders for the Games, though Diego never participated despite being Reaped twice because both Eudora and Lila volunteered for him. She considers Diego a brother, and ensures he is safe when his rebellion threatens his life. She is the hero of the revolution, and eventually takes over as President of Umbrellacademy (Panem) after the war is won.

(Snow) Reginald is the President of Umbrellacademy, and is hated by every District. Five has tried multiple times to kill him, but Reginald has escaped his murderous clutches every time. With each attempt, Reginald has locked Five away in a pitch-black room deep beneath the ground for days or weeks on end with only food and water as signs of life. Because of this, Five is distrusting and angry and doesn’t show loyalty to those if he can help it, yet is terrified of being alone. (Five is, however, the one who executes Reginald in the end. Because he goddamn deserves to.)

(Coin / Dr. Gaul) The Handler runs the Commission (District 13), a former District bombed into nothing in the first war. Five became her ally when he won, but soon realized she held nothing but contempt for the people of the Districts just like Reginald, and escaped from her. She keeps a tight grasp on Lila, who she knows was Five’s ally and friend, and works even harder towards her goal of taking over Umbrellacademy and ruling the lands for herself. In the end, Lila kills her when she gives her an ultimatum: choose unfathomable power and riches and kill Five, or choose Five and die by his side. Lila gives her a sad look and plunges her sword into the Handler’s heart wordlessly, gathering Five to her chest.

(Haymitch) Five has been bitter and angry since his victory, which occurred in the first quarter quell. His District chose him overwhelmingly, voting for him to be in the Games because he offered to give up his life for their children by being the tribute, knowing he could win. The trouble came when his fellow tribute Dolores, an unwanted, became his ally and friend, eventually sacrificing herself for him. One of her snakes bit him and the venom made him ageless, so he’s looked thirteen for forty-five years. He helps run the resistance, eventually leading it as the war worsens and they lose more and more people. Because of Dolores, he does not allow anyone to get too close to him, but is kind and loyal to anyone he does choose to hold his favor - Lila, Diego, Klaus, Allison, Luther, Vanya, and Ben. Though he’s gone mad from his traumatic experiences and time alone, he’s still one of Umbrellacademy’s most treasured citizens, and lives celebrated as a war hero by every survivor comes the war’s end.

(Effie) Klaus travelled to the Capitol when he was seventeen after his lover Dave volunteered for him in District 12. Horrified, Klaus followed him as a stowaway on the train, earning Five’s respect and protection. When Dave died, Klaus was devastated, and turned to drinking and partying to drown his woes. He works for the resistance with Five, but keeps his persona so bubbly and aloof nobody would ever suspect him of being even nearly as smart as he is. He’s found ways to manipulate the Capitol’s scientific brilliance for his own tributes’ advantage, once he won his right to be an escort for his District following Dave’s death. He used this knowledge to save one of his tributes, Ben, whom he formed so strong an attachment to they became near-lovers, partners in all but the physical. Klaus faked his death during training and preserved his spirit in the body of a mockingjay, who he keeps as a pet. He is dangerous, but vulnerable - for all his brilliance, Klaus is prone to emotional attachments, and finds himself making careless mistakes when the lives of his loved ones are threatened.

(Cinna) Diego is the fashion designer for District 12, having come to the Capitol with his sister Eudora after she won her Games. They’re both from District 4, but he instead chooses to work for 12, entranced by the District’s escort Klaus from their first meeting. The two fall deeply in love, but only acknowledge it in coded conversations and never touch if they can help it, knowing that to take any risk in revealing their feelings for each other would result in one or both of them being killed by the Capitol as an example. Diego has another sister in Lila, who volunteered for him when he was Reaped a second time, and protects both of them with his life. He is close to Five, who he works with closely when training tributes, and immediately recognizes Allison as the face of their rebellion, risking his life for her in the hopes that she will lead them to a better world where he can finally hold Klaus in his arms.

(Cato) Leonard is a tribute in Allison’s Games. He tries to kill Vanya, which prompts Allison to kill him towards the end of the Games. Though he had very little chance originally due to being from the incredibly poor District 8, he grew in danger with every tribute dead, and was well-known for his manipulative charm that won him many sponsors. Allison’s hatred of him does not stop him from showing himself as a prominent victim in her many traumatic dreams.

Hazel and Cha-Cha are peacekeepers, both of whom have wavering loyalties to the Capitol. Hazel is on the fence because he fell in love with a District 12 marketplace vendor, Agnes, and Cha-Cha has been in touch with the Commission for years, hoping to bring the rebellion to the forefront and finally make a safe home with Hazel that isn’t so structured and merciless. This is made difficult by the fact that the Handler has complete control over them, threatening Agnes’ life if they don’t cooperate, and they’ll both do anything to save her - Hazel because he loves her, and Cha-Cha because she loves Hazel.

Agnes is a woman from District 12 who sells tributes lucky charms. She gave Allison her wolf, and Five his snake, and Klaus his mockingjay, and continues to help her people in whatever way she can, offering them bread and treats in secret whenever she manages to scrounge some from Hazel and Cha-Cha. She’s a prominent figure in the black market, but dies when District 12 is bombed, prompting Hazel and Cha-Cha to begin infiltrating the Peacekeepers from the inside despite the overwhelming risks.

(Lucy Gray) Dolores was Five’s ally and friend in his Games, one who shared his emblem of snakes. She learned to control them and change their venom’s property with herbs, granting Five agelessness when she had one bite him just before dying in his arms, having sacrificed herself so he could win. Her death cemented Five’s hatred of the Games and Capitol and his belief of attachments as weaknesses, and he often hallucinates her and speaks with her phantom when he’s locked away from the world, leading her to be known as a sore subject with Five and his greatest weakness. (That is, until his new family comes along and gives him something to fight for.)

(Mockingjay) Ben was a tribute in one of Klaus’ first Games as an escort, and he fell in deep platonic love with him. The two remained bonded throughout the years, as Klaus saved Ben by faking his death and keeping him in the body of a mockingjay until their victory in the second war, and Ben stayed by Klaus’ side for all that time as his beloved pet. Klaus would receive the names of marks from Five and give Ben poison to kill them with, having found a way to alter the venom in Ben’s talons from records of Dolores and Five’s Games, and a couple of vague and shallow conversations between himself and the latter. When Ben returns to his human form, Klaus tugs him into his arms and thanks him for all he’s done, never leaving his side again.

[kahans]

(so the background behind this is basically that it’s the night before/of finnick’s 16th birthday and a week before snow held an auction to see who would get to sleep with him first. don’t ask me for that scene because it hasn’t been written yet)

title: victor’s crown book ii: lover’s war (title is a wip shhhh) status: incomplete word count: 1284 fandom: the hunger games characters: finnick odair, mags flanagan, random capitol ocs warnings: nonexplicit allusion to child prostitution other notes: don’t be expecting a whole lot from this lol it was not beta-ed and it was written in like a half hour

o-o-o-o

They come for him at midnight.

Finnick is lying on the couch with his head in Mags’ lap, doing his best to calm his unsettled nerves. He feels a little foolish, curled up next to his mentor like a small, frightened child, but he can’t bring himself to move. His proximity to Mags, the one person anchoring him to his composure in a storm of anxiety, is no longer a privilege. It is a necessity. Her hands, thin and lined with sinew, card through his hair. He tries to focus on the sensation of her fingertips against his scalp instead of the vicious whirlpool of trepidation stirring in his gut.

An hour earlier, Aurelia had come in bearing an armful of supplies to prepare Finnick for his big night. While she assembles her station of makeup, she gives Finnick a list of exercises to perform, for which he is grateful if only because it gives him something to do. He runs a couple of laps around his quarters. He does a few pushups. At Aurelia’s behest, he lugs a few weights up from the gymnasium and works with those until she tells him to stop. He isn’t quite sure what the point was if she wasn’t going to let him get in a full workout, but he suspects his first admirer won’t want to meet him smelling of and drenched in sweat.

While his flesh is still warm and his blood quick, Aurelia begins applying makeup with a swift but deliberate hand. She lines his eyes with a dark pencil and dusts his eyelids with brown. To Finnick’s dismay, she pinches his cheeks and instructs him to bite his lips. When he protests, she says, “I could apply lipstick instead,” and he hurries to comply.

Once his skin has been sufficiently prepared, she gives him an outfit to don: An elegant evening jacket dyed the deep blue-green hue of the sea hangs neatly over a crisp white dress shirt, accompanied by a pair of black pants. His shoes are equally shiny and also look brand new.

“Calliope sends her regards,” Aurelia says. Of all the outfits Calliope has stuffed him in in the past, this is certainly not the worst. Nor the best. Finnick wonders who ordered this made; surely this suit didn’t spring from her wild imagination.  

His question is answered when Vesper arrives exactly at midnight. Unlike Aurelia, he is almost glowing with frenetic excitement, bouncing on the balls of his feet like a child who just won a prize. His expression crumbles when he spots Finnick curled up on the couch, suit rumpled, hair in disarray, eyes shadowed and hollow with worry and lack of sleep. 

“What in the world are you doing?” he demands, scurrying over to where Finnick is sprawled. Mags’ hand moves from his head to his shoulder, innocuous to Vesper, but protective to Finnick.

“It’s late, Vesper,” Mags says coolly. Something about her countenance must warn Vesper that arguing could end very badly for him, so he rounds on Aurelia instead. “Why did you let him lie down?” He flaps a hand at Finnick. “Get up! Get up before your suit gets wrinkled!”

Finnick doesn’t obey immediately. He glances up at Mags, who looks down at him, expression ever unflappable but indubitably compassionate.

Head up, my boy, she reminds him, not with her voice but with her eyes. You are victor, and you wear the victor’s crown.

“There’s my beautiful grown up victor!” he crows at the sight of Finnick, gleaming and adorned like some kind of relic. They do not allow statues to be erected of anyone except notable Capitol figures in the districts, where their only legal objects of worship are Snow and the ideology his administration represents. But in the Capitol, Finnick has seen dozens, if not scores, of figurines and synthetic replicas of past victors, bronzed and painted and perfect, in every corner and cove of the city. “Aren’t you excited?”

It’s my birthday, he thinks somewhat dumbly. I’m sixteen years old. He should be home right now, celebrating with his family. His father should be letting him try his first taste of District 4′s prized champagne. His mother should be sewing on an official sailor’s patch onto his uniform to designate him as a full crew member of the fishing fleet. Perhaps she would make him the lovely fish-shaped cookies he once so loved, one for each year of his life.

“Well done, Aurelia,” Vesper says. “It’s just what Miss Poppywright wants, I’m sure. Is he ready? Have you gone over expectations with him?” 

“Expectations?” Finnick echoes, at the same time as Aurelia says, “Of course.”

Vesper shoots Aurelia a scathing look, but her defiant expression remains unchanged. “He’s already frightened enough, Vesper. Why make him more nervous? He’ll figure things out when he gets there.”

“Yes, and have him be the laughing stock of the Capitol,” Vesper replies sarcastically. He turns and fixes Finnick with an appraising glare. “Finnick, it is your duty to make this night spectacular for Miss Poppywright, do you understand? No mistakes. Just pure charm from you and absolute enjoyment from Miss Poppywright.”

Mags makes a noise of protest in the back of her throat, half rising from her spot on the couch. “Vesper--”

“Margaret,” Vesper interjects, and Finnick coughs back a noise of surprise at the use of Mags’ full name. “I hope you remember that Finnick’s conduct tonight, and for every night after this, will reflect back on all of us.” He makes a little circle with his finger to illustrate his point.

It takes a moment for the implications of Vesper’s warning to sink in, but when they do they sit in Finnick’s gut like an anchor and do nothing to quell his mounting dread. Whatever he did tonight would have an effect on everyone from Aurelia to Mags to his loved ones back home.

A familiar sense of apprehension flutters in him now, of a weight and intensity he has not experienced in years. The last time he knew this kind of panic, he was playing for his life in an arena, where his every decision had been like dipping a single finger in surface of a still pool of water: Even though the initial point of contact was small, the ripples, the effect of the action, could still be clearly seen. From simple disquiet, alarm rises unbidden, a tidal wave gathering out to sea. He instinctively looks to Mags.

“It’s all right, Finnick,” she says, rising from the couch. She stands in front of him, and even though he’s been taller than her since before she became his mentor, he’s never felt smaller. “You’ll be all right. Just remember what Aurelia told you. Listen to what they have to say, and say what they want to hear. That’s all they want.”

Be who they want you to be, not who you really are. The advice offered from Finnick to a nervous tribute seemed to have been spoken a lifetime ago. Look at how much good it did him, a little voice in his head pipes up.

“It’s after midnight,” Vesper says, breaking Finnick’s reverie with a wave of his manicured hand. “It’s not like he’s going off to war or something. He’ll be back tomorrow.”

Mags swallows, inhaling a deep breath through her nose. “Go on,” she says softly. “I’ll see you soon.”

Though it’s almost painful to muster, Finnick manages to put on a confident smile. “Don’t worry about me, Mags,” he tells her. “These people can’t help but love me.”

With a goodbye wink to Aurelia and a half-hearted salute to Mags, he turns and follows Vesper out the door.

[justfandomwritings]

Thoughts on possible ways to improve the Hunger Games series ... Part 2

See part 1 here for further consideration

- Cinna is dating Caesar Flickerman, and Cinna, as we know is part of the rebellion, but Caesar isn’t and doesn’t know Cinna is in it. This makes sense since both are public figures in the Capitol (Cinna as a popular designer and Caesar as a host, who no doubt wore some of Cinna’s designs), and it would add a lot of depth to Caesar. While we don’t know much about Cinna, Cinna doesn’t really need added depth, you get a feel for him as a person even without facts. But Caesar is pretty well written off as an airhead Capitol. Imagine the emotional range it would add to him if he was dating Cinna throughout the series/post Cinna’s death.

- Annie was a Career. While it’s never mentioned in the movies, in the books Suzanne mentions that District 4 occasionally has Careers. Not to the extent of 1 or 2 but they’re a common occurence. Imagine Annie as a Career, cocky and ready to go into the Hunger Games, but then the second she gets into the Games she’s smacked with reality. She realizes its not a Game like she thought, these people are REALLY dying around her.  And she snaps. (initially resented by Finnick for not understanding the gravity of the situation, but rapidly gains his trust/support/respect/concern and love)

- Rue had an older sister who didn’t volunteer for her. Insert parallel story to Katniss with a tragic ending. 

- Finnick volunteered at 14 because he had a little brother that was pulled. This is why he volunteered so young. He plays it off like he’s a cocky career, but he really did it for family just like Katniss which is why he likes her from the get go.  (Additionally, the Capitol ended up taking his brother from him anyway, so his sacrifice was worthless. Which is why he wants to help Katniss and her family before the same thing happens to Prim that happened to his brother and everything Katniss went through is worthless like him).

- OR OR OR ... Finnick had a little sister who was drawn and he volunteered for the 65th Hunger Games because he couldn’t take her place, but he could protect her through the Arena and then ‘fall on his sword’ so to speak so she won. Only she dies in the bloodbath before he can even reach her. 

- The Career tributes are generally displayed as strong but stupid, and I wish there had been a scene proving that wrong. I wish the scene of Katniss watching old Hunger Games had encompassed more of her competitors, and then Gloss (District 1 Victor in Catching Fire), proves he’s lethal and intelligent by, say, bringing a gem (because gems are common in district 1) as his personal token into the arena, then as the countdown begins, boy winds up his arm and chucks the gem across at the tributes from District 4 (or some district it doesn’t really matter) and sets off the bombs around that tributes pedastal, blowing up his toughest competition. And yes, this is a scene im planning to write into a story. It would just be a really cool scene I think, it would add depth to a character and more importantly, it would highlight the fact that Katniss was kind of out of her depth compared to these other incredibly lethal/deadly killer Victors.

- Seneca Crane was part of the rebellion the whole time. He planned the berry scene at the end to create Katniss as a hero and Peeta as a martyr, thinking Peeta loved her enough to eat it and Katniss wouldn’t die for him. But when they were both going to eat it he knew he wouldn’t get his hero so he called it off and declared them both winners.

- Snow doesn’t kill Crane. He plans to make Crane finish what he started. Rues father/brother is in a rage and he breaks out of District 11, knowing and planning that he’ll be caught after all the chaos he caused when Rue died. He’s forced to become an Avox in the Capitol. He manages to make his way into the tribute center at some point with the Capitol citizen he’s serving, and he corners and kills Crane. (This could be “instead of” my last point. But it’s almost better to think of it as “in addition to” because then he’d be killing a man who was technically on the right side but still let his daughter die for nothing).

@demoncrypt1066 @this-issam

[yami-yomiel]

The Space Games

I put hunger games and Sc5 together oh nooooooooo TW??: People die and also semi brutal deaths..

i’m doing the entire thing so it’s under the cut baby

o,,,,oh,,so much has happened..Jaguar no, PADDING NO, MR GENTLE WHAT HEHS FiRKCANad

Soon-Soon needs to like,,look before she eats because SHE GOT POISONED TWICEA akdlmdsk, ALSO PINE BRUH WHAT...ULALA GOT A SPEAR TOOOOOOA?SDMKA

Can i get an F for these fallen soldiers...F

let’s keep going 

HOW FUNNY PURGE DIED OF HYPOTHERMIA BEcAUSE TECHNICALLY IT WOULD HAPPEN,

 Also MY WIFE KELL IS DEAD WTFWTFFtwftwFTFtfwt

rocka Billy just Beats Purge the king with his guitar akdmaslkdmsa

If Giant Evila almost killed Fuze(ingame) she can game end Noize, as a treat. PON PIRIRI HAS NO KILL COUNT BUT THEN MAKES HOORG TO GAME END JAGUAR’S ALTER EGO OR THE LITERAL PRESIDENT OF MORODIANASDNLANNK Kie also dies of hypothermia, rip to him

Another F for the fallen Tribute:  Noize and Purge are now making Bots in heaven along with Shadow, Kell is doing heaven Yoga, and Kie watches Lou from the stars

BRACK KILLS OUR MAIN REPORTER AND AN AI, CAN SOMEONE STOP HIM??!!?!?, also Glitter and Sexy 1(aka lily) bonding time Noize thought abt winning and died, Lou YOU PROBABLY SHOIULDNT GO THE SAME ROUTE HE DID. Pine Kills a woman,,more at 5.

the “pon piriri dies of dysentery” is funny to me kadnlsa

ROCKA BILLY KILLS PEACE ARCHER STYLE hKLNKSNJ, Hoorg tending to Mimi’s wound is kind of a wholesome idea, another drawing idea ohohooho.

Pon Piriri and Peace are jiving together, Ulala and Mr,Gentle are patching up Bello’s wounds peacefully,all in space heaven hehe.

ROCKA BILLY KILLS HIS CO-WORKER WHAT!?!!?!?!?!?  G.EVILA TRIES TO KILL A MAN BUT GETS KILLED HERSELF, AND WHAT DID TACHIBANA DO TO SCREAM FOR HELP WHAT????!!!!! also glitter n peace carrier bonding time

petition to take other-moro home :’),

ROCKABILLY IS ON A KILLING STREAK BRO IS EVERYTHING OK?????!!!!!

i’d write smth wholesome here but i have nothing but everyone is cheering on pudding playing her gweetar 

unrelated but ROCKABILLY IS RUTHLESS,,CHILLLLLL

I THOUGHT YOU DIED PADDING?!?!?!? SHE CAME BACK also Im convinced that Mimi is humming Pine’s theme,,speaking of Pine i wonder where she is..oh nvm i didn’t even read it lol finally, Rockabilly is bad at something for once lol,,,

FINALLY ROCKABILLY IS DEAD HE WAS OVERPOWERED,,

PINE YOU JUST TURN ON YOUR PALS LIKE THAT,ohhhhhh good comic idea owo!! ALSO OH GODDDDDDDD LOU IS DEAD WYFFTTFWTFTFTWFT

Evila is no longer an ally tho lol... tachibana tends to padding’s would so i guess tha heals the pain..

YALL LCKY I READ THE HUNGER GAMES AKSJDLK also HOW DO YOU GRAB GLITTER AND ah i guess rheir all human sized lol..ALSO PINE BETRAYS ANOTHER ONE OF HER MEMBERED BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

also im just going to say it makes sense G.Evila survives survives because how do you sting a big metal baby

Lily and Mimi are now envious because Pine k-worded em, Glitter and the other-moro are not just vibing, and Evila(ally) and Hoorg fight rockabilly because he had the highest kill count of 4

PINE INHERITED ROCKA BILLY’S SANS ABILITY OH GOD ALSO G.PURGE IS DEAD IM GOING TO CRY...  im so tempted to say her and Tachibana have a high kill count because ya know Pine has a crush on him but nooooo it's not even close, rockabilly and pine is the new ship lol..

4 people left i think, i dunno i can’t count atm...im just going to add that im sure G.Evila is going to die next because like,,,she’s kinda green/orange and ALSO REALLY VISIBLE IN PLAIN SIGHT AJDKLM

what other tributes

BRACK NOOOOOOO

I TOKE YOU BRACK DON’T THINK ABT WINNING OH HECKKKKKK

pine your lover just killed you wtfrick...(also..if you think abt winning your chances of dying is now raised to 50%)

I can’t beleive it....G.Evila won... Make Blank Proud G.Evila..

even if you’re a little traumatized

[pigtailedgirl]

Tony Stark Ends My MCU in Endgame

Just sharing some stuff I did on dreamwidth with a few updates. I’m new to tumblr, give me patience.

Here is why I'm never watching another MCU film or giving money to them or Marvel if I can help it. Tony Fucking Stark. The capitulation to and adoration of both RDJ and that character shows me that their brand of heroism is nothing I want to do with. Endgame validated his worldview and I can't reconcile. Look. I'm no big fan of Tony or Iron Man. Been tolerating since Avengers. Been outright thinking he deserved a tell off and comeuppance since Civil War. Did not believe he'd get it, but thought, well, thought at the least he'd still be not outright unchallenged or proven right. Basically, I was wrong in that I thought the films were conscious of his flaws they were highlighting, and that even if they could never be confirmed or explored while RDJ was onboard, because I think RDJ would never consent to looking bad because he's a narcissist and he has star power, they were there, canon, and recognized with subtlety. And I had other models of heroes in Steve and Thor to say Tony is not the only version of hero to emulate. Iron Man as a character through his movies and the Avengers film is a hero born of guilt and mired in a complex selfishness. I thought this always but especially with repeat viewings. He's fascinating because he does help people, and commit good acts, but it is born not from a desire to care for others. It's often a side-affect of his overwhelming ego. That is the kind of hero Tony is. A selfishly, not selflessly motivated one.

I eventually got very tired of Tony not seeing others around him that were hurt instead of helped by his brand of heroism. A replacement for his brand of weapons at Stark Industries or his rock-star persona. Or seeing others at all. It's something that regardless of results, I think society needs to re-examine the strength of. The ego. The self. An American world doesn't need more internal selfishness to admire. It should wear Tony down in a very different way than the MCU reflects. It should have a foil and a cost. Endgame has erased and ignored this, validated and lionized Tony as a hero role-model, to an awful degree. To start Tony is made weak in the opening and given his monologue goodbye to Pepper to garner sympathy. For him. Not for Pepper. Not for Nebula do they have kindly interaction together; we are squarely with and in Tony POV. It's re-occurring, this sainted POV of Tony in this film. You'll notice it especially in his funeral, when he’s already dead, as on-lookers who have no connection or tenuous relation to him gather and mourn because to the film he's the icon of the MCU and the hero.

This POV is not extended to others, say Natasha’s loss. The film has a central character it is focusing and idenitfying with, and it’s Tony Stark.

The main thrust of argument in the film is also weighted in Tony's favor. Tony gets off the ship on Earth. To be hugged and comforted by his foil Steve. He is fragile and we linger on his emaciated frame in his argument with Steve and the others. We linger on him in bed after, surrounded by caring loved ones. Held back by Rhodey. Our sympathy is supposed to be centered squarely on him. Yet his argument itself is devoid of logic or reason or compassion for others that are not himself. 1) Ultron was evil and the Iron Legion was causing civil unrest even before and is gone through no others decision. Tony never rebuilt it. 2) The reason the Avengers were not working together in Civil War and after was entirely because of Tony. It's Tony who got the olive branch of a phone Steve sent and hasn't used it. Indeed Steve came as soon as Bruce and Rhodey phoned. It's Tony who went to space and left the others behind. It's Tony who lost trust and therefore tracking of Vision causing him to go off-grid. It's Tony who agreed with the accords, has since broken the accords, and has since not done anything to demolish them. Accords which Ross wanted to use to stay hands in Infinity War as well. 3)Tony is in a room playing photos of the dusted, came with a woman who's sister is murdered, and can only focus on his hurt about the Snap. On losing Peter, because of what it means to him. Of the others not being with him to comfort him in his time of battle and loss. His priority is his pain alone. It's supremely selfish. It's given no rebuttal because the narrative agrees his pain is what matters. So characters feel sad for him instead of anger or their own hurt. If they don’t agree with him, no time is devoted to seeing that.This is where you expect an argument. A reflection by everyone. A hash-out on the priority of one's personal pain versus the whole universe's losses. None ever comes. The film avoids another interesting conflict on selfishness vs selflessness to approve of onlyTony when in the five year gap it celebrates in Tony's family, at the expense of everyone else refusing to move on. Only Tony gets happiness in time through his not thinking about others. Now Tony does regret Peter. So Tony decides to help reverse the Snap. But he is given zero push back on the decision to do so entirely for his benefit, that it is his alleviation of feeling Peter's loss, and not for the world's losses, or Peter's loss independant of Tony. Again it’s a selfish and self-motivatied choice. 

That Tony refuses to give up his 5 year family, which will come at the expense of 5 years lost to the returned, of the collateral we saw take place in Infinity War, at the deaths and changes since is not examined because the narrative doesn’t care to disagree with Tony. I'm not saying erasing Tony's family is right, heroic, or a choice he or the film should advocate for. But there is zero thought or discussion to the idea that Tony's family or pain is not all there is to consider in this plan. Where is Thor, saying how dare you value your happiness over all the dead of Asgard? Where's Natasha mad at her effort to keep everyone together, including world crisis prevention? Where is Carol with the universe as a whole perspective? Where is Banner saying help me at least not kill ourselves trying? Where is Clint not wanting to be a killer when his family comes back? Where is any nuance that just because Tony wants this in this way, it's not the only way everyone would feel. This film never puts anything above Tony's feelings. This extends to his heroic sacrifice at the end. The final two ways the film absolutely prides Tony's view versus anything else are his death and mourning. Tony is treated as the ultimate hero. Out of 14 million scenarios, it takes him alone to win. Him using the stones barehanded when all others couldn't. Him saving the world. His ultimate sacrifice and entirely his choice. All about him. It's not selfless that way. It's killing yourself yes, it’s saving others, but you are the ultimate universe saver. The ultimate avenger. You defeat the bad guy. Not bring people back in an act of return, but in an act of rightfulness you fix what you've been complaining others wouldn't let you and defeat evil all by yourself. Your entire motivation is rewarded, because you protect the universe by killing all your bad guy enemies. Rooted in how you feel and what you want. His final line "And I am Iron Man" a rebuke to anyone who doubts the greatness of him. Tony was right and perfect everyone. Listen up.  But there is no self-sacrifice here, because it's not about him losing. Oh, fans will mourn him. Lament Tony's lost family and happiness. Rally against his pain in dying. But Tony doesn't. There is no reflection in the film from him on the potential cost or the reality in the moment. No care is extended to the daughter's feelings or Pepper's or his friends. Nothing is about the impact or loss he'd feel of leaving them. Instead he's, like always, the focus. The film is entirely about losing him and how it's the worst for you and the world. That is what the film wants you to be sad about in these moments. Every character props him. Steve's tears. Peter's "Mr. Stark we won", and Pepper's "You can rest now." It's all about making Tony look good. This continues with the funeral. Morgan talking to Happy being about a callback to cheeseburgers Tony loved. Tony Stark 's first reactor is “Proof Tony Stark Has A Heart” floating away, wreathed in flowers. It's all tribute to the man and only about him. That's not selfless, it's self-aggrandizing. The character has gained no humility or grace. Just more fame. I'm not interested in that. In fact I'm angry. The overarching message of his rightness also destroys his foil, Steve. Who stands behind Pepper at the funeral? Steve. Who stands with Tony throughout the film? Steve. As his character's end, Steve adopts Tony's mindset of not being a selfless hero and chooses to do as Tony did and think only of what Steve currently wants. Peggy. In the past. At others expense. Steve chooses to be a selfish hero. As does Thor going off the rails in film and off with the guardians and abandoning his people. Marvel thinks that's the right way. A summation of all their films and a thing to look back on and celebrate as Tony hologram's monologue tells us. All heroes are reduced to the Tony Stark role model. It tells me they never thought Tony's world-view was a problem. And I disagree. Or they wanted to honor him so they warped everything else to work it. If they do it once, twice, always...well, what next? So I'm done.

[oneeffie]

A Spark

A Spark

By: Emma Sinclaire & Line Svensson

“Sometimes we have to do what we don’t want to do.” That is what my mother would tell me when I objected to going to school as a kid. I wanted to stay at home or go to my mother’s job and do things than be there. But every time, without fail, when my mother said this phrase I promptly grabbed my bag and went to school. I knew the story behind her saying that. I’d only heard it once, in the midst of one of her few drunken moments, but that was enough.

We live in the country of Panem, in a place called the Capitol, which is the heart and soul of the country, or so I’ve been (I’d been) told. The districts surrounding the Capitol was there to bring nourishment to us. It is a place of beauty and luxury. Supposedly the greatest place on earth. But if it’s so great, how could the events in my mother’s life be possible? My mother didn’t have a lot of money growing up, and even less when she got into her adult life. Before she had gotten the job at “Intexui” she had struggled to get by, taking odd jobs here and there, just to make ends meet. But that’s when things changed for the worse.

42 ADD

She had walked up the entrance of a big mansion. There was a party going on inside and she was demanded to be there. As she knocked on the door the head of the house opened it.

“Ah, there you are. You must be the lovely lady my colleague was so kind as to send us”, he said while he had a malicious smile on his face. She could feel her pulse into her fingertips. She had been terrified to her very core, but what was she supposed to do? When they had seen you, they had seen you. When they wanted you, they wanted you. There was no going back, and she couldn’t afford to lose everything. She plastered on the bravest face she could, smiled slightly and walked through the front door. As she walked in, he put his arm around her waist, and he guided her around the house. As they walked into the backyard, she could see there was a small party gathered. Most of them were women, but they all had the same look on their face as she did.

“Look, fellas! Pontius sent us another gorgeous one!”, said the homeowner as he let go of her waist and made his way to the couch in the middle of the yard and picked up his purple-tinted drink. Everyone eyed her like she was a piece of meat that was up for sale.

“She truly is a beaut. What’s your name sweetheart?”, said one of the men as he poured himself another drink.

“Anya”, she replied.

“That is a beautiful name.”, said a voice behind her. The man came around so she could see him. He was a generically attractive man. Average height, olive skin, short clipped curly hair that had been dyed into a silver color and with silvery lips to match. He was wearing a neon green colored suit that had feathers around the sleeves. A very typical outfit for someone in the Capitol. When she looked into his eyes, she tried to look for some kind of warmth in them. There was none to be found. Her heart was beating faster now. She had never been this scared before. But she knew again that there was nothing to do. She had heard it wasn’t as bad if you didn’t resist it.

“Caiaphas! You’re here. Great now the party can really get started. We were just discussing this years Hunger Games. We think it’ll be a blast. Abimelech just told us that the arena this year will be in a woodland area, with all manner of poisonous animals,” a gentleman in a bright pink suit said. The man Abimelech turned his head towards them and smiled.

“You did hear that I’d been accepted as a part of the game maker group? We get all the details before it’s released to the public,” he said very proudly.

“I did hear. That is smashing! We expect to get a good show out of you then,” said Caiaphas. He took Anya by her arm and guided her to the yard, and there the gentlemen engaged in conversation until nightfall. The women, however, did their best at trying to fit in and being of service, but it was clear that they weren’t there for their conversational prowess.

The people eventually started trickling off from the conversation and Caiaphas put his hand on her leg.

“Let’s go,” he said with a very commanding and sharp voice. Then he stood up and grabbed her hand. As they walked off into the house and up the stairs Anya knew that her life would not be the same.

They had stripped her of her agency, and she had become just another part in their game. A game she couldn’t win. After a long and humiliating night, she took a car ride back home. Once she was in the car, she felt dirty and violated. She sobbed into the early hours of the morning. Never again, she thought. No matter what.

43 ADD

9 months later she was admitted into the hospital with intense pains coming from her abdomen. The time had come for her to deliver the baby. She had found out that she was pregnant just weeks after her horrid night in the mansion. She had, of course, tried to get in contact with him, as she liked to call him, her perpetrator, but she never saw or heard from him ever again. It was truly amazing what money could do. It could even make you invisible. I was born on January 8th and was taken home the day after to be raised by my mother alone.

49 ADD

My childhood passed me by without any event. I got up in the morning, ate, went with my mother to work and then home to eat and sleep. Same thing day in and day out. The thing that did change though was the love I had for my mother. It grew day by day as I saw her work her hardest, push herself to the limit with a constant smile on her bright face. The only time she broke from that smile was when someone asked about my father and in those lonely moments, she had by herself, in the late nights, sitting by the kitchen table with a glass of pungent spirits. When I turned six, I had worked up enough nerve to ask about my dad. She had turned around to me in the store and given me a defeated but stern look.

“Later,” she said. I had nodded and gotten back to drawing my undecipherable painting. In the evening, when we got home, she drank a whole bottle of a lemon-colored drink and sat in silence for about an hour before she started telling me the story. I could see how much every word hurt her, so I did my best to not ask more, and remember every word she said. When she finished, she grabbed another bottle, kissed me on my cheek and went to sit in the living room.

Life went on as normal after that, on the outside at least. There was, however, a battle that raged within me. Good versus evil. Right versus wrong. Things didn’t get any easier when I started school. I had always lived quite the secluded life with my mother. I never had many friends, and now I was being made to go and socialize with my peers. From day one I could tell they were very different from me. My general attitude was always a silent, cheery type. My classmates were, however, more, peculiar. They all had that strong Capitol accent which would just drive my mother up the wall sometimes. However, they made me curious. I wondered what their lives looked like. How did it differ from mine? What were their parents like? It would become more and more apparent over the years exactly how I was different, and nobody likes a person who breaks the status quo. But that’s the great thing. Sometimes we don’t just have to do things we don’t want to do, but we can actually do what we want. This thought would come to set deep roots within my heart and soul, and it would emerge years later.

50 ADD

I remember the first time I truly started to see the horrors the Capitol with my own eyes and understanding. Sometimes you see these events in hindsight and realize the horrors you witnessed or experienced. To me, that was the 50th Hunger Games. Double the tributes, double the celebration, and double the suffering.

Since there were twice as many participants, there was also twice the demand for the most extravagant garments for the celebrations. The fabrics store mother worked at, was, of course, booming in business due to this demand. During this time, my beautiful mother spent more time in the store, than she did at home. Her dark curly locks framed her almond-colored face,  illuminating her bright hazel iris with specks of gold. She was a true beauty amongst the flamboyant fashions and unnatural colors of the Capitol.

Like the brat I was, I blamed my mother for not making enough time for me in her day. Little did I know that she was constantly berated by demanding customers and blamed for errors that were no fault of her own, for several hours on end in order to keep the roof over our heads and the food in our bellies. She would come home, exhausted and immediately fall into bed and sleep, on most days. Sometimes I would hear an odd noise coming from her bedroom during nights, but only as an adult did I understand them to be smothered sobbing.

My favourite tribute this year was a tribute who wore one of my favourite fabrics from the store. When he answered a question regarding the 100% increase in tributes. He said he didn’t see much difference this year, as they would also be 100% as stupid. Just hearing someone say stupid is funny enough to a kid I guess.

But I truly understood the sufferings once the 50th Hunger Games was finished. My mother cried for most of it. Especially when the girl died by the pink birds, and my favourite had to hold her as she died in his arms. I remember seeing many people happy or cheering, but I didn’t understand why. There was even more celebration when he won the entire event, after winning a gruesome fight that mother would barely let me watch. The sounds were enough to understand the violence they put each other through.

“Why is everyone happy, but not that guy?” I asked while pointing at the winner on the screen. Mother looked at me with mixed pride and sorrow, as she answers:

“Because being a winner, means someone else has to lose.” she points at the same guy. “But he didn’t want to be a winner, he just wanted to survive.” I still couldn’t quite get it.

“But what’s the difference?”

“A winner wants to see others fail, in order for themselves to succeed. But the survivor is someone who simply lived when others unfortunately died.” She gave me a weak smile with teary eyes as she said the last part.

Even the child me now understood that the Capitol wanted winners, but we were in fact just survivors, trying to live through a game they created.

I looked to the screen again, to see my once hero, being wounded, broken and empty.

56 ADD

I stepped into the store and was greeted by a forced smile. The smile falters and instead grows into heartfelt glee. Nobody embodies strength quite like my mother. Although tired from the daily labour at the store, she still finds happiness and energy in her heart to always make both of us happy and safe.

“You’re here early! Is school already over?” she asked.

“Yeah, they finished early since the celebrations start today.” hinting at the reaping that was going to air later that day.

“I see. Well, it is understandable. Many do create extravagant viewing parties, and that sure takes time.” she answers with a slightly displeased tone. “Some girls came in earlier today looking for fabrics for a last-second change of a dress. They looked at almost all the fabrics we had before choosing just another tint of the original color the dress had. But the smallest things matter of course!” she said the last part with clear sarcasm.

“So what’s the inspiration and trends this year?

“Seems to be a lot of dark green, brown and beige. Some even come looking for skins of lizards, frogs and crocodiles,” she answered a bit wearily.

I just sighed and marvelled at the ways Capitol would try to find any symbolism from the games and always taking the most basic ones.

I recently started to come to help mother at the store after school and the owner, Gaius. would even toss an extra coin our way for my effort. Most days I just helped to restock and putting the fabrics in proper order onto the shelves, as they tended to be moved around a lot when mother was busy. I found the work satisfactory and calming. Feeling the fabric between my fingers and seeing all possible colors through different materials. Sometimes I’d imagine them as gowns, shirts or other garments. I would sometimes even draw the ideas onto paper once I got home. I’m pretty sure that mother knew, but it didn’t seem to bother her.

Just as I was about to finish off my work, the doorbell of the backdoor rang.

“Coming!” mother yelled out. She opened the door to find a man holding a smaller package. Mother signed the waiver as she usually would and thanked the man.

“An odd time to make a delivery. They usually arrive much earlier,” she said once she had closed the door. We opened the package and saw a peculiar note saying “experimental material”. We both looked at each other, confused and curious. Mother pulled out a black polyester material that didn’t seem like it was any different to other black fabrics in the store. Right then the front doorbell rang, signalling customers. Mother shoved the box towards me and said:

“Could you put this on the desk in the office? I think the owner needs to look at this.” and left to care for the newly arrived customers.

I quietly walked into the office with the box and put it on the desk. When I did, I saw another note fall out of the box. I picked it up and glanced at it. This was a manual or explanation of the fabric and how to utilize it. Although seemingly uninteresting at first glance, the fabric was able to give off different illusions in different lights and angles. I touched the fabric again with awe and my imagination soared. The outfits and gowns this could create would be a sight to behold and a true spectacle. However; it would take someone with quite the personality to carry such a striking look.

“Cinna! Could you help for a second?” my mother called from the store. I touched the fabric one last time and went to help with whatever task I was called for.

61 ADD

I decided to teach myself more about how to design and create clothing. I would ask and learn some of it from customers in the store since many worked with design or made a living by sewing. I also learned some from books I could manage to borrow from time to time, but most of it was from practising on my own when the store was closed, on the sewing machine. I had asked to borrow it from the Gaius and the materials needed was either scrap from the store or paid by working.

“Come Cinna, it’s time to go home.” Mother ushered me away from the sewing station, ready to head home.

“Very well, but you know I’m old enough now to walk home on my own, right?” I answered slightly frustrated on having to finish early and leave my work unfinished for another day.

“Would it hurt to humor an old woman who wants to walk home with her son?” she answered with a cheeky grin. Although she looked somewhat worn after all the years of hard work, she was still a beauty with immense energy in my eyes.

“You’re no old woman yet. My eyes cannot be fooled.” I answered in an amused tone.

I packed the last bits and pieces into a designated box for my works and stood up to link arms with my dear mother.

“Shall we?” I asked as she nodded and we headed home. My mother gave me a prideful and pleasing smile that only a mother can give her child.

Once at home, I got to study for school, as well as research more work or techniques I could practice. Mother stood in the kitchen, making the usual late evening dinner for us both. I was fully immersed in learning the history of the Districts and their importance to the Capitol when I heard my mother yell in agony. Shocked and worried, I got to my feet and hurried into the kitchen, scared that she was hurt or injured.

“Mother! What happened?” She was crouching next to the stove, with a pan to her left side, cradling her left arm. Her heavy breathing and groans subsided slightly as she explained:

“I tipped the boiling water onto my arm. Stupid of me.” she cursed herself for the one small mistake she made. From what was not covered by her shirt, the elbow, most of the forearm and hand was covered in red blotches. Trying to hold back a shocked gasp, I decided that it was too serious to be left on its own.

“There’s nothing stupid about an accident. Come, let’s get you to a hospital quick. We need to get some medical attention before it gets worse.” I tried to gently lift my mother by the right arm to stand, but she pulled back her arm and almost hissed at me:

“You know we can’t afford that! It would be cheaper to cut off my arm!” she seemed instantly apologetic for her behaviour and continued to cradle her arm.

“Then let me at least get you into the shower so you can run cold water on your arm. That would hopefully do some difference.” I answered as I pleadingly looked at her. She meekly glanced back and silently nodded. I gently grabbed her right arm again and led her into the shower and ran some cold water. She sat down in the shower, audibly groaning as the water hit her injured arm.

“I will get you some painkillers. Hopefully, they will alleviate some of the pain.” with one last squeeze of her hand, I went to get her medicine. I heard her agonizing groans as she pulled off the first layer of the shirt she was wearing, so she could more properly cover the burn with cold water. Some screams slipped out and I hurried back with the medicine. Once I was back in the bathroom, she had gotten the shirt of the injured arm.

“Here, let me do the rest,” I said, kneeling in front of her and gently rolled the shirt off her. My mother was visibly exhausted from the pain as I brought the pills to her mouth. “Take them, you will need them.”

She sighed and swallowed the pills, although some defiance was still in her eyes.

I spent the night in her bedroom, looking after her while she slept and wetting the towel that covered her arm with cold water ever so often. She luckily stayed asleep. Must be the sleeping pill I gave her with the painkillers.

“...inna”

I must have fallen asleep at some point during the night, as I woke up so a soft whisper of my name. I stretched out my slumped back on the chair and slowly opened my eyes to the rays of lights that penetrated the curtains.

“Cinna..” mother called out in a weak voice. I looked at her and saw sweat pearling on her pale face and a weak right arm stretching out to me. I bolted out of the chair to hold her hand.

“Mother, how are you feeling?” I asked worried, although I could clearly tell this wasn’t good.

“I’m ok, just help me to the bathroom.” It took all she had to just say those words. I gently took he by the right arm, trying to not look at her swollen left arm. She grimaced and groaned as she got to her feet. We slowly made our way to the bathroom and I sat her on the porcelain seat.

“Just tell me when you’re done, and I’ll pick you up.” I closed the door and headed to the kitchen to arrange some more painkillers and food. After a while, she called out and I tried as gently as possible to get her back to the bed. When the discomfort and pain had subsided a bit, she asked:

“Could you cover for me at the store today? You know no one else will be able to.” we were lucky that the school was off for the weekend.

“Of course, but you should really get yourself checked at a hospital first,” I said, worried and hoping she would see reason this time. She did not.

“It’ll be fine with some more rest and water. Just go work and I’ll surely be fine by the evening.” she smiled to try and gloss over the alarming symptoms she showed.

“Ok, but if you don’t feel better by the time I’m back, I’m taking you to the nearest hospital.” I tried to say it in a commanding tone, as to make her understand that I was serious.

“It seems that I’ve gotten old enough to have my own boy worry about me,” she said while stroking my cheek. I kept a steady gaze as I grasped that hand.

“I mean it,” I answered. She fell silent, and her smile wavered. “I’ll drag you there if I have to.” I continued. She nodded and gave a weak:

“OK.”

I was off to the store, after preparing more medicine, water and a new cold towel on her arm. I arrived minutes before the store would open and explained the situation to Gaius. Although slightly dissatisfied with not having his favourite employee at work that day, they understood and agreed I should fill in her role for the day.

The day passed, and except for a few hiccups with my service manners, I would say it went fine. But I hastened home to check on mother’s condition.

“Mother! I’m home! How are you feeling?” I called out once I opened the door to the hallway. No reply. I quickly went into her bedroom to find her, still in bed, but the bed was now soaked in her sweat and water from the towel. She looked fatigued and worse than this morning.

“Cinna, I’m so sorry,” she muttered through her fever dream. I knelt down by her side and held my hand against her forehead. It was sweltering. I knew that she could not stay like this.

I barely got her on her feet and prepared to take her to the closest hospital. I took her uninjured arm over my neck to drag her there. Luckily enough, the closest one was only a block away, so after an unstable walk, we arrived. The nurses took one look at my mother and quickly got to work by pulling out a wheelchair and promptly putting her in it. Dazed and confused, mother called out to me.

“Cinna! Cinna, where are you?” Put myself in her range of view and answered:

“It’s OK mother. The doctors will take care of you now.” I answered to assure her. She sloppily grabbed my hand in desperation and replied:

“But the fees! We can’t afford this!” I looked into her eyes and stroked her cheek.

“I’ll figure something out. You should just focus on getting better now.” was the last I could reply before the nurses urgently rolled her off into a restricted area.

“Are you the relative of Anya?” someone asked behind me. What looked to be a doctor approached me in the waiting room with a medical report in his hand.

“Yes! I’m her son, Cinna.”

“Well, we have finished our emergency treatment and examination.” The doctors face hinted that the rest would not be good news. “But we have deduced that your mother has Toxic Shock Syndrome from an infection started from the burn on her left arm. The toxins from the bacteria are what’s causing her illness. Her situation is in dire need of more treatment” I looked into the doctors face in horror.

“Can you treat it? Will she be OK?” Because that was my only concern at this point.

“Yes, but the treatment of both her arm and the TSS will be quite costly and she would also have to be administered to the hospital for a couple of weeks during the treatment.” He then gave me a sheet estimating the cost for said treatment. The doctor made an educated guess that we could not afford such a fee, which is correct.

“I know we lack the proper funding, but could you start the treatment now and we could pay it off at a later date?” I tried to find any way to make it work and was as close as I could be to bargaining.

“That is unfortunately not a service we provide. We can at most hold her until tomorrow evening while trying to keep her condition stable. But I’m afraid we can’t do any more after that point.” The look in his eyes made it seem like I was the unreasonable one and a nuisance. I then felt my shaking hands that I had unconsciously formed into a fist.

“Please…” My voice cracked as I pleaded and held back my tears.”Please just hold her until tomorrow. I will find a way.” Although no idea of how. The doctor nodded.

“Very well, please be back by 10 pm.” The doctor almost sneered at me.

Well at home again, I panicked. I let out the sobs I withheld earlier and my mind spun around on what I should do. I could call Gaius for an early payment or a loan, but that would probably still not be enough. I know there are some people looking for extra organs on the black market, but that would not make me able to reach her in time. Yes, time was of the essence here. I could not lose the once person I held dear in this wretched city. Should I sell myself of for servitude, like my mother had been forced to? And then it hit me. Caiaphas.

After a sleepless night, I put my plan into action. In order to save the one I loved the most, I had to face the one I loathed even more. My own father. I stood at the gated entrance and my finger hovered over the call button. I had dressed in the finest suit I had sewn for myself, but that was still not much in comparison to the servants clothing. My red eyes and swollen face probably did not help either. I pressed the button and waited.

“Caiaphas manor. What business do you have here?” The impatient lady answered at the other end. I suspected it was a secretary who could see me from some camera by her tone.

“I am Cinna.” I paused and hoped she would know by my name alone. She did not. “I am Caiaphas’ son.” The other end went silent for a moment as if she was doubting it.

“Please hold” she answered with a sigh that got cut of. I now felt my palms sweating and the nerves kicking in. As I was lost in thought, the gate suddenly opened.

“Please enter” sounded from the speaker.

I took slow and careful steps up the stairs leading to the big mansion. The wide doors swung open as I saw a man spread his arms out to welcome me.

“Cinnaaa! What a joyous occasion,” he exclaimed. I had mastered the ability to tell when a smile meant something else, and by his, I could tell this was not joyous at all. “What brings you all this way?” I was at first surprised by the fact he remembers my existence or that he wanted to greet me at all.

“Hi.” I gave out weakly. “I was hoping that we could talk,” I stated as I nervously glanced around at all of the staff. “Alone?” He did not look pleased nor surprised.

“I suspected as much.” He kept trying to hold his facade but seemed to be slipping now. I silently followed him back through the garden to a bench halfway down the driveway.

“Please, have a seat.” I sat down on the far end of the bench as he sat down at the other. “So what business did you have today, Cinna?” He spitefully said my name.

“I came today to ask for a loan.” I thought cutting to the chase would be easier since time was of the essence and he did not enjoy my presence, to begin with. “I fully intend to pay it back in time, but I would need to leave with the specified amount by the end of our meeting.” I gave him a note with the estimated cost from the hospital. He took it into his hand and glanced at the amount. He lifted one eyebrow and snickered.

“What? Anya can’t pay for college?” he humorously replied. “You probably won’t need the education anyway. You’ll just stay in that shithole with her.” He waved his hand at the thought.

“I need it for mothers treatment,” I answered blankly, trying to ignore the seething rage building in me. He got quiet then and his smile dissipated.

“Treatment? What treatment?” He looked at the note in disgust now. He still did not understand the seriousness of the situation.

“She has had a serious burn which led to Toxic Shock Syndrome.” I steadied my gaze into his eyes. “This is the only thing I will ask of you as a son. You will never have to see me after this unless it’s for the payments.” He looked slightly shocked and froze for a while. But then burst into laughter, which shocked and enraged me. He replied:

“You really think I care about you or your whore mother?” he answered with a mocking tone. “If I wanted you in my life, you would be. But I don’t, so leave and stop wasting my time. What a waste of space.” He continued to mock and laugh as he stood up and started walking away. I slammed my hidden fist onto the table and got to my feet with tears in my eyes and rage in my heart.

“She’s dying and that’s all you have to say?!” I furiously spit out. He turned around, still looking somewhat amused but at least he contained his laughter now. “We might be a waste of space, but at least we’re not the shitstain of humanity.” That removed his stupid grin.

Two guards escorted me to the gates and shoved me through the exit. One guard yelled after me:

“For your own good kid: don’t come back.”

I made my way home, but without a single hope or possibility left, I was in tears. Although many whispered and avoided me on the streets, I couldn't care less. The tears trickled down my face and dampened my handmade suit.

The walk back took quite some time, and by the time I got home, it was 7 PM. Only three hours left. I was now filled with rage. I took out my anger on my environment. The clothes I ripped apart, the furniture I toppled and rendered some of them unusable. I felt my hands beat along to my heart, from punching the furniture and floor, in anger. I gasped for air as I regained my senses and sadness. I had failed her. I promised her I could find a way. But there is none. Not for a waste of space. But the ringing of the phone abrupted my breakdown.

A block later and I was outside the dreaded place. As I entered, one of the previous nurses led me into a nearby room where several nurses and doctors ran in and out. Upon entering, I saw my now husk of a mother on the bed and felt like collapsing then and there. But before I could, the doctor I had previously talked to approached me once more.

“Can you go through with the treatment?” He urgently asked. I bit my lower lip and shook my head. He looked solemn for one moment, but then stated. “Then there is nothing we can do. She has deteriorated quickly and will unfortunately not be with us for much longer at this pace.” He then waved for the staff to exit the room. “We will leave you two alone.” Door closed.

I sat down on the chair next to her bed and collapsed my body onto her bed. I could once more not withhold my cries and sobbed like the child I was. Suddenly I felt a soft hand on my head.

“Cinna, my sweet boy,” she whispered with a smile that contained the beautiful strength I knew her for. “I am so proud of you.” I looked up with tears in my eyes as I replied:

“No mother, I failed you! I tried to convince Caiaphas to lend me money for the treatment, but he simply laughed in my face! I couldn’t even make him see reason!” she saw my distraught face and teary eyes. She put my hands in hers and smiled again.

“What matters is that you had the strength to try and fight and that you also still made your way back to me.” she squeezed my hand with the little effort she had left. “I needed nothing more from this earth than you by my side..” she now let a tear from her eye, to match mine. “Just remember that I always have and always will love you, my boy. You made this life worth living, not just surviving.” she slowly uttered those last words, as she fell into a calm sleep. I stroked her beautiful locks away from her face, as I kissed her forehead.

“As do I love you, mother.”

I collapsed back onto the bed in tears, when I shortly after heard her last breath.

63 ADD

Days turn to weeks, months and eventually years. The memory of my mother’s final moments haunted me almost daily. The initial rage after my mother’s death had brought me to the point of an insane hunger for my dad’s death. Why did he deserve to live when she, who is so good had to die? But eventually, the pain and anger faded. There wasn’t anything that I could do. I was again reminded of my mother’s classic phrase. And it wasn’t fair to her, so I focused less on the negative moments and more about the positive ones. The way she would brush her hair behind her ear when she felt accomplished, the way she would admire a beautiful fabric, the golden specks in her eyes that would shine in the light or just how she radiated so much warmth.

I kept working in Intexui after she passed away because I didn’t really know where to go. It was a good enough job, that paid the bills and kept me out of trouble. I also got to keep working with fashion and clothes. I still spent all my spare time practising, observing and taking notes on what I could.

One day I was sitting at the front desk sketching away. This new fabric had come in that I had experimented with a little bit. It was aqua colored, and I was trying to find other fabrics to combined with it to create the illusion of waves. I was drawing up a way of sewing the shirt together when the door to the store opened. I looked up and there was a slightly older woman standing in front of me. I recognized her from the Hunger Games. She was one of the designers for District 2. Her face was striped yellow, orange and black with whiskers coming out the sides of her cheeks. Her hair had tight curls that were pulled back into a ponytail at the back of her head, giving the silhouette of a feline.

“Hello, I am Tigris. I am looking for Gaius?” she said. Just then he popped his head out of his workroom.

“Oh, let her in Cinna! Tigris, darling!” he said as he moved towards her. She walked around the desk and towards Gaius and they exchanged air kisses. He pulled her in with him and the door shut. The door opened again and a company of 3 walked in, two women and a young girl.

“Did you see the latest from Juan? Apparently, leather is the new sequins. Absolutely inspired.”

“Oh, tell me about it. Our cook kept getting sequins in our food, so I had to fire her! Leather should be a bit harder to mix into the veal lasagna.”

“I don’t know though, these avoxes can be quite stupid, I must say. Did you hear about…” They continued chattering on as they looked around the shop. Finally, they came up to me.

“How much is this?” they asked as they showed me some fine black leather.

“That would be 50 dollars a yard madam,” I answered.

“Wow, well then we can’t have that. Do you have something in a higher price range? You know more, exclusive?” she said and winked at me. I moved into the store and started going through and showing them all the different kinds of leather we had. After settling on the one that was 120 dollars a yard we moved back to the front desk. There was Tigris looking at my sketchbook. I rushed over, closed it and put it to the side.

“Sorry,” I said. Tigris moved to the side and let me pass. As a measured up the fabric and charge the woman for it, I could feel her gaze. As the woman left the store, she came up to me.

“What kind of fabric are you thinking for your design?” she asked. I little bit surprised I pulled out the aqua colored chiffon out from the counter. She looked at it and then said:

“Chiffon is a hard fabric to work with. First of all, if you want the effect of more movement, I would suggest having a white base, something sturdier like cotton.” She moved in closer and grabbed my sketchbook. “May I?” she said. I nodded. “You’re thinking a little too narrow. Instead of sowing things so much into place consider doing more layers with different lengths of fabric under one overlapping piece of fabric.” She turned to a new page and drew a slightly different version of my dress. She then put the pen down, grabbed a pair of scissors and went into the store. She came back with four different colored fabrics that all complimented each other. She put them all in the book and stamped them into place.

“Thank you,” I said. Right then Gaius came out of his workroom.

“Cinna, Tigris and I are going out to dinner. Lock up the store at closing time.” And then the walked away, not looking back. When they had gone, I opened up my book again and looked at what she had drawn. I got a new page and redrew the dress, adding the ideas she had suggested. That way would provide less room for mistakes with the sewing and would perhaps create a better illusion. The following days I worked on the dress for the next few days and made adjustments until I had achieved the perfect result.

This happened several times in the months and years that followed. Ever so often Tigris would come into the store to see Gaius and at the same time, she would offer me bits of knowledge that helped my technique and look at my end results. She convinced me to sell the clothes I make to her grandmother, who owns a clothing store. Eventually, she stopped coming by. I didn’t know why, and I never would. One day, however, as I was working one of my all-night-open shifts I had an older gentleman come in with a woman looking for me.

“I was at this dinner with my father’s colleagues, when I saw the most divine dress on one of the past victors. And I said to my papa that I simply must have it. And so, we asked her where she got it and she shared that she had gotten it from this little shop just two blocks from here! We hunted the place down and they told us that the designer worked here. And here we are!” The woman beamed at me and the elderly gentleman reached out his hand.

“So, what do you say boy? Care to help us out?” I took his hand.

“Of course. What will it be?”

After that, I had people coming in from time to time. Not a lot of people wanted to share where they got their one of a kind outfit, in fear of someone copying them, but ever so often I would get new customers come in and request their various different clothing ideas and I got to put all my knowledge into practice. I felt myself discovering more and more who I was as I drowned myself in work. I found my peaceful mind space. I still remember one morning when I got into work and I had three orders to finish by the end of the day, I saw a golden pen on the floor of the store. I picked it up and looked at it. It reminded me of the golden specks in my mother’s eyes. Oh, how I wished that I could see her again, just to talk to her one more time and to hear her say she’s proud of me. I wanted to look into her eyes again and find the reassurance that together we could do anything. I walked towards a mirror took of the lid of the pen and drew a straight line across my lash line on both eyes. I backed up and looked at myself in the mirror. Dark hair, black pants, black shirt and the gold eyeliner. It was a good look.

74 ADD

I was finishing up the last piece of hemming on the late-night order I had received the night before when the doorbell rang. I placed the last pin in the neckline and put the dress down. When I walked out into the store there was a woman standing looking at the newly arrived fabrics.

“Welcome to Intexui, can I assist you in any way today madam?”

The woman turned around and smiled. She couldn’t be more than a couple of years older than me. She had a light purple wig on that was cut to a short bob with a fringe on the front. Darker skin, almost like mine, a dark silvery jumpsuit with boots to match. A very nice-looking outfit.

“Thank you and not madam, it’s Portia,” she said and reached out her hand.

“Cinna.” I grabbed her hand and shook it. She turned around, doing a fast glance at the store.

“I am looking for an organza fabric, I’m thinking maybe green or turquoise. Do you happen to have anything of that category?”

“We do, as a matter of fact, I have some on hand if you’ll just hold on for a moment.” I went back to the back and got a few samples for her and brought them out. She grabbed them and started scanning them, pulling them a bit and holding them up to the light.

“I am not sure which one I like better. It’s hard to tell what this light green one would look like with layers towards the light. How’s it sewing with it?”

“Let me grab a sample from the back,” I said and then went into my workroom and grabbed the dress that I had been working on. I brought back and laid it in front of her. Her eyes widened a little bit and she picked it up gently. She spent a good minute just looking at the dress. She looked up at me and said:

“Who made this?”

“That would be me,” I answered. Her smile widened.

“Well, it’s beautiful. It’s really a fine piece. Where did you study?”

“Oh, I learned most of it from the store, some books, and by practice. You meet a lot of people in these kinds of places who are eager to share their wisdom and knowledge,” I said waving my hand around the room. I couldn’t help myself from thinking of Tigris.

“That very well maybe, but Cinna, raw talent isn’t something you pass down. It’s something you’re born with.” She put the dress gently back on the countertop. She then picked up the bright turquoise fabric and handed it to me.

“Can I have 10 yards of this please?” I took it out of her hand and started measuring the fabric. This gave me some time to just let the compliment sink in. I felt like I had gotten loads of praise over the year but for some reason, this situation really stood out. And then I realized that it carried the same kind of spirit as something that my mother would have said. I am what I make myself. I folded the fabric up nicely and placed it in a bag and handed it over to Portia. She took it and started to walk away. She then came back up to me.

“So, I just got hired for the hunger games as a stylist. I still have the guy’s number if you are interested.”

“I don’t know. That whole spectacle isn’t really my scene,” I answered. She opened up her bag and pulled out a card and handed it to me.

“Well, here is his number in case you change your mind. Could be your opportunity to make a mark.” She then turned around and walked out of the door.

After I finished work, I walked home in deep thought as I held the card in my jacket pocket. If there was anything in this world that was against everything I believed in, it was the Hunger Games. But it was those last words that Portia uttered that made me think. As I walked through the door, headed to the living room and turned on the TV. I took the remote control and flicked through different TV shows until I landed on last years broadcast of the Hunger Games. I hadn’t watched it of course, not after the 50th. But I wanted to see something with my own eyes. I started going through the reaping segments. When I got to district 12, I observed what was happening. As they called out the name of the scrawny girl, I could see the fear in her eyes as she moved towards the stage. I saw the same kind of fear in the lanky boy. As the reaping was over, I observed as the peacekeepers took these two children by the arm and guided them into the building behind them. Words from my mother’s story of her night at the mansion popped out in my mind. Being overcome by fear, not having a choice and my dad grabbing her arm pulling her towards the moment that would change her life forever. All survivors. I turned off the TV and walked up to the phone and dialled the number on the card.

The following day I took the train into the Gold Circle, the centre of the Capitol to meet up with Seneca Crane. I had brought all of my sketches and some of my finished products that were yet to be picked up at the store. As I walked into the building the word luxury came into mind. Huge marble walls stretching up for hundreds of meters. I walked up the front desk and gave my name and was directed to the 15th floor. As I was moving up the elevator, I was running through what I was going to say in the meeting. When I arrived, I was directed into what seemed like an office. Sitting behind a big white desk sat a man with a beard that had a very intricate pattern. He was wearing a bright red suit and was preoccupied with writing on a piece of paper.

“Come in and have a seat,” he said without looking away from what he was doing. As I sat down, he collected everything on his desk into a pile and put it to the side. “I’m Seneca. I believe that you brought your portfolio?” he said and reached out his hand. I opened up my bag and pulled out a book, to put in his hand, and then spread everything else out on the table. Seneca spent about 15 minutes in silence looking through my sketchbook and picking up the different pieces of clothing. Finally, he closed the book and put everything down on the table.

“You obviously have talent, and I can see here that you have worked with some good people. We like that. Tell me, why do you want this job?” I thought about it for a second. I had to really think about how I could phrase my answer.

“I feel like I have more to offer. And I would like the chance to prove that, to show people what I can do with the simplest of things,” I answer him. Seneca looks at me closely and leans back in his chair.

“I agree with you. However, you are a newcomer, so we don’t have much to offer in terms of the districts.”

“Okay, well, if you’ll permit me, I’d like request district 12.” He smiled and stood up.

“Request granted. Welcome to the Hunger Games Cinna.” he replied as he shook my hand.

It had been two months since I had gotten the job to work in the Hunger Games. Shortly after the interview, I got to meet my fellow stylist, which just so happened to be Portia. We got started right away on brainstorming different ideas for the opening ceremony outfit, just so that we would be prepared. On the day of the reaping Portia and I came together to watch together at the tributes we would be designing for. One by one we watched the tributes for the different districts being selected. I couldn’t help but notice how cold some of them looked. Like they had lost their souls. My heart broke when I witnessed a young twelve-year-old girl get reaped from district 11. However, the real showstopper of the entire reaping was district 12. I watched as Effie Trinket took to the stage and pulled the name for the girl. This year it seemed to be another small twelve-year-old girl. I started taking notes on her, but then suddenly there was a scream from the crowd. A slightly older girl had thrown herself in front of the first girl and screamed that she was volunteering. The little girl was lifted away by another boy as this girl took to the stage. It was shared that she was the older sister. Following this, there was an odd cut in the footage and it jumped straight to the reaping of the boy. A blond-haired, strong built boy walked up on the stage. Finally, they shook hands before they were taken into the building behind them. As the screening finished, I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl. A scrawny, brown-haired girl that had not volunteered for the sake of glory, but to save her sister. I wrote down: Tell prep team to leave her hair as is. I looked up at the screen again and rewound back to the moment she threw herself in front of her sister. The honest terror in her eyes, but also the heat. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. This girl, I thought, she’s got fire.

[concealeddarkness13]

Checkmate Part 2

Tagging @ratracechronicler for this wonderful collaboration!

The black fabric of my suit shimmered as I walked onto the stage with the crowd roaring. I just forced a smile and waved at them before turning to Caesar. He laughed and gestured for me to sit next to him.

“So, Shane, from District 8! This year’s Hunger Games victor!” The crowd roared again. “I must say, it was entertaining to watch. Can you tell us how you were able to achieve victory?”

I smiled, almost genuinely. He had given me the perfect opportunity. “Well, Caesar, it was hard, I must admit. Mainly because of all the pointless death that occurred.” I stood up as Caesar’s smile slipped. “It would be an insult to forget the other tributes. So, I will honor them now.” Caesar tried to step in front of me, but I just pushed him back. “From District 1: Haru Kobayashi, Arlen Astera, and Kleio Meredes. From District 2: Estelle Lira, Dr. Agau, and Damien. From District 3: Michael, Isabelle, and Lia Carter. From District 4: Hetat, Bryn, and Mur.” Caesar tried to speak, but I just raised my voice. He wasn’t going to stop me. If they really wanted to stop me, they would have to stop their show, and I wouldn’t imagine them doing that. “From District 5: Daren, Maya, and Eshe Noxven. From District 6: Laurelin Nasseri, Jae, and Wick. From District 7: Mythre Larsel, Sumayl Antar, and Jay Gatsby. From District 8: Padma Fedorov and Jasper Lucian. From District 9: Ginger DeAngelo, Nightingale, and Delphi Adams. From District 10: Liam, Bryn Emrys, and Victor Frankenstein. From District 11: Tiffany 7 Null Omega, Emily Spurling, and Artemis Fowl. From District 12: Lily, Chester Martin, and Cinderella. I would like to mourn their losses and beg you to remember them. I know I will.”

I fell silent, and Caesar grabbed my arm and pulled me back to my chair with a laugh. “Well, Shane, I’m sorry to hear that.” I clenched my fists as I sat back down. Of course he was trying to brush off what I had just said. I could only hope that what I had said actually made the audience think and remember, instead of just their usual celebration of a murderer. “The Capitol was so moved by what you did in the arena that President Snow personally made sure to give you a gift!” The crowd clapped, but they still sounded more subdued. Good.

Caesar laughed. “A miracle straight from the arena! Emily Spurling miraculously survived!” I gasped and jumped out of my chair when I heard someone walk onto the stage. Could she really be alive? How had she been captured by the Capitol? Was this part of her plan?

And there she was, walking onto the stage in a midnight-blue evening gown. She was grinning, and there was a scar on her left arm that hadn’t been there before. When our eyes locked, she smiled even wider and ran to me, and we hugged. Before we broke apart, Emily whispered in my ear. “Just play along.”

She moved away and looked out at the audience as they roared. My spirits sank a little. Caesar had been able to effectively distract them.

She glanced over at Caesar. “I’m just so thankful the Capitol gave me this second chance.” She wrapped her arms around my arm and leaned her head against my shoulder. “Now, we’ll be able to be together without worrying.” I swallowed hard and forced myself to look down at her with a smile. I had to pretend, even though just pretending that I was happy and everything was fine made me want to throw up. She continued. “Even though it makes me wonder why the Capitol couldn’t have saved any of the other tributes.” My smile turned genuine as Caesar’s smile slipped again. So, this was how we were going to play it. We had to pretend, but that didn’t mean that we couldn’t fight back still.

When we turned to sit back down again, another chair was beside mine for Emily. Caesar and I sat down, but she pushed me a little and squeezed into my chair, curling up and leaning against me. I flushed, and the audience laughed.

I awkwardly put my arm around her shoulders as Caesar started speaking. “So, how does it feel to be back together?”

Emily spoke first, but her voice was a little muffled, since she had now buried her face in my shirt. “Oh, it’s amazing! I was worried after our little fight on day 3, but I shouldn’t have.” She laughed. “I’m sorry for my lack of interview skills right now, but this fabric is just so soft!” She ran her fingers down my arm and back, and I shivered at the light and actually friendly touch.

Caesar laughed. “I heard from Shane’s stylist that she ordered his outfits’ fabrics directly from District 8. The fabric is a special kind that will actually be available for sale in the Capitol soon!” I wanted to roll my eyes at that advertisement, but I was able to stop myself. Caesar looked over at me. “So, Shane. I think everyone in this room, especially Emily, is dying to know why you wouldn’t ally with her, why you pushed her away. Would you care to elaborate?”

I held Emily tighter, as if it had hurt to fight with her, and I allowed my face to grow somber. “I didn’t want to lose her, and I was worried that I would be the reason that she died. I thought she would be safer if she wasn’t around me.” The audience “aww”ed, and Caesar nodded solemnly, as if he understood exactly what we had gone through. I looked back down at her. “But that was a mistake. She became distracted because of me during the feast, and that caused her to almost die. If I had stayed with her, that wouldn’t have happened.”

Caesar paused for the dramatic effect before continuing. “Emily, what did you think of how Shane won the Hunger Games? Surely, you must have seen it!”

My blood ran cold. She had seen me kill Chester. He was her friend. What did she think of me now?

She looked up at me, and we locked eyes. Her eyes were sincere as she spoke. “Shane did what he had to. I’m glad he was able to win. I’m so glad we can be back together before the Capitol throws more BS at us.” She laughed and snuggled her face into my neck as the audience fell quieter, and Caesar frowned.

But he didn’t pursue the subject. He probably didn’t want us to start slamming the Capitol again. He turned to the audience. “With the end of this momentous Hunger Games, President Snow has decided to host a party for this couple before they head back to District 8! So, get excited for that!” As the crowd roared, Caesar looked back at us. “One last question before the closing remarks. What are you planning on doing now?”

I smiled out at the audience. “I’m going to treasure my time with Emily. And I think I’ll use my earnings to help the people in District 8.”

Caesar interrupted me before I could say anything else, this time his voice loud enough to drown me out. “Emily, what about you?”

She played with the bracelet on my wrist. “Oh, I’m just going to stay by Shane no matter what. I don’t care what happens as long as we’re together.”

The crowd clapped as Caesar stood up. “Any closing remarks?”

Before I could even think of anything to say, Emily stood up and pulled me up. She turned to me with a grin and kissed me, and I immediately kissed her back this time. She laughed and buried her hands in my hair as I held her tighter. We had to pretend, but it actually felt nice for her to be in my arms.

While we kept kissing, I vaguely heard Caesar laugh as the crowd roared. “Shane, the victor from District 8, and Emily Spurling from District 11!” He nudged us, and we finally broke apart and walked off the stage, still holding each other tightly.

[tothewaterhq]

ACCEPTED // NIKE AURELIUS

district 2 → tribute →  margaret qualley fc

positive traits: resourceful, confident, resilient negative traits:   selfish, guarded, ruthless weapon of choice: sword token: a silver ring on a chain that belonged to her mother

tw: abuse

did they volunteer? if so, why?: yes, Nike volunteered because she wants to bring pride to District Two. She had been training for The Games since she was a little girl, and she had literally fought to volunteer this year.

biography: 

Nike’s mother died when she was born, leaving her to be raised by her father. Nero Aurelius was not a kind man. Having missed his chance to volunteer for The Games, he had become a bitter man, save for one person in his life: his wife. But when she had passed and he was left with Nike, Nero was tempted to let his bitterness win over. Instead, he saw potential. If he couldn’t have the chance for glory himself, then perhaps he could have a hand in helping his daughter train and win in The Games.

Training had been all Nike knew as a kid. After school, it was training. Before school, there was always some sort of lesson to be learned. But it was more than just sparring matches in the backyard or random scenarios thrown her way like a pop quiz; if Nike failed to respond correctly or lost a sparring match, Nero locked her out of the house overnight. And nights in Two could be cold, depending on the season. Nike would be forced to find shelter and find a way to keep herself warm for the night. Other times, she would be refused a meal. Nike learned to adapt, to study and train herself so she wouldn’t be subjected to the harsh punishments.

Nero had sent her off to the Academy, where Nike thrived. She won against most of her sparring partners, keen on being at the top of her class. Her goal had been to volunteer when she was seventeen in the 76th Games, but Beatrice Huxley had won the chance to volunteer. Even then, she screwed that up and a twelve year old went into The Games. To her credit Fiona Pope got far, but she still ended up dying in The Games. Nike had been confident she would have won had she been able to volunteer. She had been devastated when she lost that spot for the 76th Games. It was the biggest failure Nike felt since she had lived with her father. She only had one more chance to get to volunteer, and she was not going home a failure to her father. After all, Nike didn’t want to find out what punishment was awaiting her if she didn’t go into The Games.

Nike was at the top of her class, but there had been another girl keen on taking the spot to volunteer for The 77th Hunger Games. Artemis Slate had also been eyeing the volunteer spot, but Nike didn’t see this as friendly competition. She saw Artemis as an obstacle she had to overcome to glory and pride for her District. For herself. So she sparred with Artemis for the spot. They had been evenly matched, Artemis almost gaining the upper hand a few times before Nike finally took her down, throwing her down on the mat and pinning her.

With confidence and pride, Nike threw her hand up before the escort for District Two could read the name that they drew, volunteering and making her way to the stage. She sought out her father’s face in the crowd, finally seeing something she hadn’t seen in her life: Nero Aurelius was smiling at her. She was going to win this year. She was going to make her District proud.

PLAYED BY // KAT

[musicallisto]

Hi❤️ Can I have a ship w/TMR & HP(male), pls? I’m 5'7,have a long black hair,dark eyes,fair skin. I'm ENFJ,the eldest of 4,making me reliable & a good leader. Very caring,affectionate,kind,strong both physically & mentally,competitive & fearless. I'm a good listener so as a good adviser. I adore animals,children & LOVE cuddling,skinship,coffee,theme park & advanturous things.I hate heat & worst w/directions. I'm always there for my sis. Smile's always on my face & I hope everyone can smile,too.

(Thank you so much and take your time with my ship if you’re too busy, I understand! Hwaiting ♥ I’m supporting you~ 🌹🌷🌺💐🌼🌻 I hope you have a lovely day filled with happiness, smiles and love.❤️❤️❤️)

I Ship You With…

T H O M A S

• If Thomas had to describe in one word everything he felt when he looked at you, it would be admiration. He was completely mesmerized by the way you moved, the way you talked, how good of a leader you were, how everyone seemed to rely on you, how you were so tender and yet so brave, how you were so altruistic and generous, how you were determined to save everyone no matter the price. It was what drew him to you. Your personalities were so alike in many ways. Although you weren’t one of the official leaders in Group B, you quickly became the head of the operations because the girls soon realized how good you were at taking the lead, scheming and making plans, and leading people to victory. You were a rebel, a fighter, and Thomas loved that about you. You didn’t try to talk him down, to tell him what he was doing was worthless. You believed in him and he believed in you, and it was enough for the both of you, despite all the death and the chaos surrounding you. You showed your utmost potential in the Scorch: you were an absolute badass, saving Thomas and the others Gladers several times. Your fearless and commander nature was Thomas’s favorite thing about you.

• Besides being one of the strongest and most physically capable ones in the Group, you also valued intelligence a lot, so it was very important for you to keep doing mental puzzles and things like that after all the situation died down. You taught Thomas how to play chess and even if he didn’t understand a lot at the beginning, he was more than happy to play with you. It often ended up in Thomas being frustrated because you won extremely easily, in only a few minutes, and he didn’t understand how you did it. You laughed and told him that he was just really bad at that game, and you wondered why WICKED had even bothered studying his brain. He smiled light-heartedly; your little jokes never failed to bring a smile to his lips, no matter how pained he was by all those he had lost. Evenings in Paradise were spent playing chess on a makeshift board as the sun was dying down behind the horizon on your right, and it was peaceful and quiet: everything you wanted and deserved after the trials.

• Since you loved children a lot, you tried to convince Thomas to have some of your own, years after the dreadful events of the Maze and the Scorch. He was skeptical at the beginning, not wanting his children to live and to be raised in a world so dark, a world so cold, but you told him how amazing of a father he would be and how incredible the kid would feel having a dad like him, and eventually, after a few months of asking and persuading, he accepted. Your first born child, a boy, was named Newt. It felt like a proper tribute to your best friend, and although you wished he could be there to see his small alter ego, you were filled with happiness with your little family. Thomas turned out to be a really good father, treating his child with respect, love, and being firm when he needed to. Sometimes, you could hear Thomas’s voice crack when he called your son by his name, but you shared a comforting look and he smiled lightly. Everything was going to be alright.

M I N H O

• Minho must be your best friend, there is no discussion here and it seems OBVIOUS to me that you two fit each other perfectly. Like honestly I don’t see a romantic relationship between the two of you but sign me up for the bff stuff. You both get so competitive and teasing when you are around each other, especially because you were both the best runners in your respective Mazes, and Minho can’t have his ego beaten by *cough* “a girl” (he regrets those words as soon as he realizes that you’re indeed going to beat him God knows how and that you’re actually one helluva girl). You’re always throwing snarky comments at each other and being what others would think is nasty, but you both know it’s just for the laughs and it’s your way of being affectionate.

• HOWEVER, as soon as the other is in danger, shit gets wild. When Minho is threatened by WICKED because of his immune condition, you’re the first one to react and try your best to protect him, and Minho would be the quicket to jump in front of danger to protect you (I mean, Thomas would too, because they’re both such hotheads). Sometimes, and especially in the Scorch, when everything seems desperate and after Minho gets hit by the thunderbolt, his playful banter slowly turns to more philosophical and deeper conversations that he shares with you at night around a bonfire. At first, you’re taken aback, because it’s a side of Minho that you don’t know, or are not used to seeing. You find some stupid joke to make because seeing your lively best friend so down in the dumps is very frustrating, and he uncontrollably laughs because you know him so well. He’s uncapable of keeping a frown when you’re around.

• After the Scorch and all the Flare shit, when life goes back to normal, you suddenly realize that animals must have suffered as much as humans, if not more, and you instantly find a new goal: adopt and care for any stray animal that you find near Paradise or on the roads. And every g o d d a m n time you see a wounded racoon or a pathetic-looking dog, you must take it in, to the great displeasure of Minho who doesn’t understand that fascination at all. From his point of view, it’s already hard enough to keep humans alive, let alone furballs. However, when you pick a little blind in one eye kitten, pleading eyeing Minho with his only blue orb, and literally shove him under his nose, he can’t help sighing and agreeing with you. From that day, he helps you put up an animal shelter in Paradise and surprisingly becomes the most whipped and gaga in front of the baby animals.

J A M E S   S I R I U S   P O T T E R

(faceclaim: Blake Steven)• So you didn’t specify which era you wanted so I thought you were okay with any, and I never wrote anything about Next Gen (actually, yes, I did. I wrote a Lorcan x Rose fanfic years ago and it was actually quite decent. It was called Kiss From A Rose bc, yanno, the song and the wordplay, rose, haha, lol, so funny 10/10) so I thought why not? So you two would be King and Queen of mischief™ just like the two amazing bastards he was named after. You may not be the most malicious, and that’s exactly why you make an excellent duo: teachers never suspect you because they know how intelligent, mature and responsible you are, and therefore would never do anything as childish and frivolous as putting pranks on people, right? but they fail to remember that you are dating James Sirius Potter, grandson of James Potter and nephew of Fred and George Weasley. (actually, McGonagall knows very well what’s going on, but she doesn’t interfere a lot because she misses the lively and funny atmosphere in the castle from the Marauders time, or the twins time).

• Soooo many dares, tournaments and stupid challenges between the two of you. At first, they were light-hearted and simple, nothing too extravagant, like “I bet you can’t eat two turkeys in one dinner!”, but as days went on and neither backed down, it escalated until it reached the point of “One hundred Galleons if you dye Professor Longbottom’s hair green in his sleep”. You always come up with the w o r s t dare ideas, or at least the most maleficent, and the thing is James Sirius always executes them. He never backs down from a challenge or dare, partly because it amuses him a lot and partly because he doesn’t want to be seen as cowardly. When you fear it’s going too far (because you have the most common sense, so even if you find it funny, you know when it’s time to stop and be serious), you tell him that it’s okay if he doesn’t do it, and it will absolutely not degrade his reputation or the way you view him, but once he has an idea in mind, he doesn’t let it go. Which leads him to detention quite a handful of times per semester, and as a consequence he receives a lot of Howlers while you’re laughing on the other side of the table.

• Because you both adore animals, and because that kind of stuff seems to run in your blood, you decide during your fifth year to become Animaguses, or at least attempt to do it. It takes a lot of months of preparation, and at first, you are very intimidated by the processus, but James Sirius convinces you to try to do it with him because it will be so much fun and imagine the endless possibilities if you can transform into an animal at will! Finally, after months and months of bizarre spells and disgusting concoctions, after several times escaping from detention because you were brewing potions after hours in the bathrooms, you finally manage to make it. It’s very confusing at first to change shape and become an animal, and not knowing what animal you would change into when you first transformed was very stressful, but after a lot of practice and training, it became easier and easier to get used to changing into an animal, and you could use that new, secret ability to meet with him without anyone knowing.

T E D D Y   L U P I N

(faceclaim: Chace Crawford)• So despite being much older than you both and therefore leaving Hogwarts years before you, Teddy is your best friend because of his mischievous, happy-go-lucky nature that really mirrors James Sirius’s personality. You get to hang out with him a lot, because he is a very good friend of the Potters, and also because you get on well with Victoire too. He is your favorite partner in crime and when he gets a prank idea to pull on someone in the castle and James Sirius is there to follow him, he basically is unstoppable. Your trio is very well known in Hogwarts when Teddy is still attending because of your creative jokes and pranks, and, to tell the truth, a little feared.

• Even after Teddy leaves Hogwarts, you still are in touch with him and talk a lot via letters. You tell him everything that’s going in Hogwarts, the classes, your friends, your family, gossip about the professors and the students, every little thing that he never would have thought he would miss when he was a student himself. He’s the only person you tell about your Animagus journey, and he’s very impressed because he knows it’s a very advanced form of magic and few wizards are ever capable of doing so. He doesn’t need it, obviously, but he loves hearing stories about your adventures and animal escapades nonetheless. Your letters are always the highlight of his days because he loves hearing from you and James Sirius and you are the closest thing he’s ever had to a brother and a sister. He loves hearing from you, your friends and your handwriting always reminds him of the times when you would spend days scheming jinxes and hexes to traumatize the poor other students.

• During the holidays, instead of staying at Hogwarts that becomes completely empty and dull, you would go back to the city and spend one week with your family and the other with the Potters, who basically adopted you as their second daughter. You love spending days with them because most of the time, the Weasleys and Teddy are there too, and it’s one giant family gathering where everyone knows each other and everyone gets along. You usually take long walks in the countryside with your best friend, trying to catch up the time you’ve spent without talking to each other, laughing and running in the corn fields, laying in the grass and laughing at the clouds that ominously look like McGonagall, or that Malfoy kid, reaching a pond and pushing a fully-clothed Teddy in there, then fleeing from the crime scene under his infuriated shouts… You’re so grateful for your friends and the amazing family that took you under its wing.

Moodboard

bigger version

Playlist

Muse - Knights of Cydonia

Martin Garrix - Virus (How About Now)

Eminem - Not Afraid

The Cab - Angel With A Shotgun

(the playlist & moodboard are mostly TMR related, but I was much more inspired, hope you don’t mind!)

[allonsysilvertongue]

Wiping History

“What will happen when we get to your arena?” she demanded. “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.“ 75 arenas and one colossal task for Effie Trinket. Hayffie. Post-MJ. Previously

Alright! The arena you’re waiting for!

10. Place To Be

While they were enroute to the arena, the technicians in the Control Centre had taken down the force field - a dual protective layer installed after the Games specifically for this arena.

The original force field had been slightly damaged during the Games and due to the popularity of the Quarter Quell, the newly re-installed force field was specially manufactured. It was a necessary precaution, especially once the Tourism Board realised that visitors kept chucking random items at the force field for the sheer fun of having it bounced back, clearly replicating the act of a young Haymitch Abernathy so many years before.

In the hovercraft, Cressida had just finished interviewing Haymitch. He had kept it brief, steering the conversation away from having to discuss his feelings about stepping into the arena, and instead talked about how monumental it was that they had come this far to be able to destroy these last dying symbols of the Capitol’s power and the districts’ enslavement.

“One last question, Haymitch. What are your hopes for the future generation?” Cressida had asked.

It took him awhile to give an answer, his gaze cutting briefly to where Effie was standing just behind Cressida. Truthfully, she was still very surprised that he had been present that morning at Parliament. She had assumed that he would sit this one out as well.

“That they wouldn’t take this fragile peace we fought so hard to get for granted…” he said. “Even without these arenas, they should never forget this long bloody history we had… Even when all of us here are gone – people like me and you, the remaining victors, those rebels who survived to tell the tale – those seventy-five years should be remembered in some ways. Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.”

“You did well,” Effie remarked.

“Didn’t come out right… Didn’t mean for it to… I don’t think we should have to keep remembering whatever’s happened. It ain’t all pretty and it ain’t healthy up here,” he tapped his temple. “I meant to say…. We shouldn’t completely forget but we shouldn’t keep holding on to what happened… I just – I don’t know if it came out right.”

“It’s alright, Haymitch,” Effie reached out for his hand, her thumb brushing comfortingly against his knuckle. “Don’t fret about that. It is unbecoming.”

“Why's that? Between us only you’re allowed to do that?”

“Yes,” she laughed lightly, warm blue eyes seeking his gaze. “Come now, we are here.”

Effie stood up, her hand still in his but when she took a step forward she felt the sudden loss of grip. Haymitch was still sitting where he was. He shot her a look and she recognised the nervousness in his eyes that he tried hard to mask on his face.

He let out a breath and then in one swift motion, Haymitch stood up and strode towards the door, making his exit from the hovercraft. Effie emerged mere seconds after him.

The 50th arena was just as she remembered it to be. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Surrounding the Cornucopia, flowers bloomed in various colours on a vast expanse of green grass as far as the eyes could see. The sky was scattered with clouds and so blue which would have been perfect for a day of picnic if this had been in District Twelve.  

Haymitch stopped at one of the launch platform, walking slowly around it.

"Aster stood here," he recounted before angling his body to face the Cornucopia in the middle of the meadow.

Effie knew this information of course.

The other male tribute from District Twelve, Allan, had been four platforms behind Aster. Maysilee had been on the other side of the meadow, completely unseen by Allan and Aster because of the Cornucopia. Haymitch was five platforms to Maysilee's right, giving him the good vantage point to see his three fellow tributes from home.

Effie had seen his Games countless times and she had visited this arena twice in her life so far; this visit would make three. Once, when she turned twelve, her grandmother had brought her on a trip here as a birthday gift. The other was after she found out that she was to be Twelve's new escort so a week before she was due to meet Haymitch, she had come here foolishly thinking that it would help her in her new designation.

“Couldn’t bring myself to step foot into the meadow in Twelve even years after I won,” Haymitch divulged that piece of information that she never knew. “Kept reminding me of this damn place. The meadow used to be one of my – “

Haymitch stopped abruptly, as if just realizing what slipped passed his tongue.

“Allan went straight for the Cornucopia,” Haymitch muttered, as if remembering. “Chaff had been the one to tell me to avoid it.”

She never knew that either. She never knew that they had spoken prior to Chaff’s visit at the hospital to see the newly crowned, wounded Quell victor.

“Saw a spear pierced through his chest.”

“Haymitch,” Effie rested a hand on his arm. “You don’t have to do this.”

He walked with a shrug, further inwards toward the arena. Effie had no idea where he was headed but she was not willing to let him out of her sight.

“What’s it the therapist called them?” he said. “Closure or somethin’ like that?”

Effie tilted his head, wondering if he was seeing a therapist, but she nodded regardless.

“I have to do this.” His voice was steely with determination. “As much as I want to see it gone, I – I got to see it for one last time. I was sixteen and this place gave me fuckin’ nightmares for years. I’m – I ain’t that boy no more and this place… it shouldn’t give me that same kind of fear it did before. I’m gonna walk through this place once more and I’m gonna leave knowing it won’t have a hold on me ever from now.”

It made sense to her. She had done the same by forcing herself to walk in front of the place where she had been held prisoner before the rebuilding efforts demolished it and she had forced herself to walk passed it again and again until it no longer evoked the same crippling fear like it once had.

Haymitch stopped suddenly at a spot. When Effie came to stand beside him, she began to feel uneasy.

“This is sick,” he growled. She could already see him turned two shades paler. “Is that really her fuckin’ blood?”

“It isn’t. Her blood soaked through and stained the grass, but the crew of this arena often….”

The words were stuck in her throat.

“What?” Haymitch demanded.

“The crew would put paint on it to make the stain look fresh – every year that it is open to public.”

Haymitch licked his lips and swallowed, staring hard at the patch of grass where Maysilee had bled out.

As they walked away, up a small hill which Effie now recognised as the place Haymitch had ran away from the axe-wielding tribute, he asked, “What the hell is this?”

“It is a game….” Effie said hesitantly, growing more uncomfortable by the second. The Capitol’s atrocities were making her feel sick and having to explain to him the way they had turned the sufferings he faced in the arena into even more of an entertainment made her felt as if she was personally responsible for it. “You throw a rock into any of those spots by the moving hoops - they act to bring the attention away from the forcefield - and if it goes in, you’d …. You’ll get a golden axe.”

She carefully left out the fact that she had won two golden axes from her first visit.

Haymitch clenched his jaws but said nothing to that. He moved to the place where the name of the District One’s tribute had been placed and then slowly to the spot where his sixteen year old self had knelt on the grass, clutching his stomach.

“Go back to the hovercraft,” he told her. “I’ll catch up.”

She hesitated, not sure if it would be wise to leave him alone. In the end, she trekked back the path from where they came and stood to wait under a large oak tree, giving him the space he needed while still able to keep him within her line of sight.

Haymitch stood still, heads bowed. Effie was far enough that she was not able to see the expression on his face from his side profile. It made her wonder what was going through his mind.

It was a few more minutes before he finally turned away and walked towards her. If he was surprised to see her waiting for him, his expression did not give him away.

“Let’s blow it up.”

She felt him standing rigid and tense next to her as the demolition crew did the final preparations. Slipping her hand in his, Effie squeezed it lightly, hoping to give him some semblance of comfort and strength.

“I understand why you hated us so much.”

The Capitol… me….

At the sudden remark, Haymitch flashed her a perplexed glance.

“Not you,” he said after some time.

“I used to be just like them. I came here to your arena,” she admitted. “I visited others. I – I enjoyed myself.”

Ten years ago, telling him any of that would have made him lose his temper. He would have pinned her against the wall and call her a monster, insult her to hurt her but now, they were both in a very different place.

A muscle in his temple ticked as the grip of her hand tightened, not enough to cause her pain. That was all. There was no violent display of temper, no shouting. Nothing to tell her that what she said might have angered him.

“Did you enjoy the Games once you realised it for what it was?”

“No, of course not,” she frowned. “You knew that.”

“You visited any of the arenas after you became Twelve’s escort? Finnick’s maybe? Or even Jo’s?”

“Never,” she shook her head. “I couldn’t stomach the –“

“So you ain’t like them. You stopped enjoying once you know the truth. You have your flaws, sweetheart,” he said, “but the best people…. They learnt from it.”

That, she thought, was one of the nicest things he had ever said to her.

“Haymitch,” she said, consumed by this sudden thought and need to say the one thing that she had buried deep. “You could have let me in all those years ago. You could have let me loved you.”

It wasn’t because he wouldn’t, she knew, but they could have been careful. The years would have meant something…. something more than it already had. They could have helped each other. She would have stood by him.  

“It was too dangerous,” he answered. “I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk you.”

“I loved you anyway.”

In the background, the arena detonated, engulfed by a fiery orange flame. The force field that had been brought up to contain the explosion ripple from the effect and the smoke quickly obscure their vision.

“Not anymore?” he gave her a side-glance, lips poised in a sad, half-amused smile.

“I do not know,” she answered truthfully. “I cared about you deeply. I – I still do but I don’t hate you. I never did even if I very much wanted to… especially at my lowest moments.”

In that cell when she was left behind… She wished she was dead then because it would be painless.

“That’s good enough for me,” he turned to face her. “We have to start somewhere and not hating is a good place to be.”

SO! Share with me your thoughts on this chapter :)

[omfgtrump]

The Tale of Two Viruses: Part 10

The Don did not renew the federal government’s shelter-in-place order that expired on April 30th. States like Georgia, Florida and Texas celebrated with a shout of “hot diggity dog.”

Hey, let’s get this shit back to normal. America needs to get its ass back to work. After all “are you a man or a mouse?”

As for me, I am a damn mouse. I get that people need to get back to work and that the economy needs to get going, but are we really going to encourage Russian Roulette?

For the record, Covid-19 hates mice, but it just love, loves, loves an idiotic man (or woman). If you look closely at each store awning, there is a subtle flashing sign with a smiling virus saying “Enter at your own peril.”

This comment by Kim Rinehart, a worker at a transmission plant in Toledo Ohio, says it best: “If you had a murderer in the plant, and you didn’t know where, but you knew he was there, would you go back into that plant?”

Um?

By not renewing the order and understanding the calamity that potentially awaits those who return to work or feel it is safe to patronize businesses, The Don and his out of touch governors, put more American lives at risk.

The Don’s utter incompetence in handling the pandemic has already cost tens of thousands of lives, but there is a presidential election to be won and without a robust economy, The Don is in bigly trouble. All the experts concur that it is too soon to open things up and by doing so, we will increase fatalities and allow the virus to wreak further havoc.

We are now at 65,000 deaths and many feel this may underestimate the total by 15%. The death toll has already reached where it was expected to be in August, more than three months from now, according to projections accepted by the White House. The University of Washington’s Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation now estimates that 73,000 will die by August. We’ve reached our numbers faster than expected. We are even greater than expected!

And true to form, Florida Governor, Rick De-Satan-santis is not releasing the number of dead from his state.

“Live free or die” is being replaced by “Die going to work or lose your job,” as Americans are faced with the fear of losing their job if they don’t report to work. Some states are even asking employers to report workers who do not show up so they can cancel unemployment benefits. “Hot diggity dog,” the essential part of this phrase being “dig it,” for digging your own grave. And by the way, Mr. Empathy has decided there should be no money for the dead.

The dangerously delusional world of The Don climbed to another level this week. “We think we really have crossed a big boundary and much better days are ahead.” Yes, Don, with no end in sight to people dying, happy days are almost here again. What fucking planet is this man living on?

He went on to say: “I often say I see the light at the end of the tunnel very strongly.” (For more of the Don’s brilliant use of the English language see Trevor Noah’s tribute.)

The most disappointing part of that sentence is that it didn’t end in bigly.

And Don, how many times is “often’? How bright is that light; how long is that tunnel?

And three cheers for the useless boy wonder Jared Kushner who should be on Time Magazine’s cover for its “Evil Man of The Year” edition. (And aren’t you just burning to know what Ivanka thinks of her daddy’s doings? Actually, I couldn’t give a shit, but you might.)

Here’s Kushner:

“If we didn’t do what we did, you would have had a million people die, maybe more, maybe two million people die.”

  “We’re on the other side of the medical aspect of this, and I think that we’ve achieved all the different milestones that are needed”…“The federal government rose to the challenge, and this is a great success story. And I think that that’s really, you know, what needs to be told.”

This is a success story like the shuttle “Challenger” that burst in to flames and killed all members of the crew.

“This is going away,” he said, “and when it’s gone, we’re going to be doing a lot of things.”

Mr. Kushner said May “will be a transition month” as states began reopening. “I think you’ll see by June a lot of the country should be back to normal.”

 A transition period? Is that like when the spirit of the dead hangs around a while in a Bardo* before it makes its journey to wherever it is going?

 “And the hope is that by July, the country’s really rocking again.”

 Rocking?  Can we please tie a mask around this know-nothing’s mouth in such a way that nothing he says can ever be heard again? Actually, tying his hands behind his back and shoving a sock in his mouth would do the trick, and be better optics.

 In a new scene in “Survivor,” The Don declared meat processing plants “critical infrastructure,” in an effort to ensure that facilities around the country remained open as the government tried to prevent looming shortages of pork, chicken and other products as a result of the coronavirus.

Hey, we all love a good burger or pork chop, but should people die doing that kind of work. Tyson, one of the largest chicken producing companies, only just recently started to provide protective gear to its workers and try to create safer working conditions. And are you surprised that a disproportionate number of meatpackers are people of color and immigrants — 44 percent are Latino and 25 percent are African American, according to an analysis by the Center for Economic and Policy Research.

Stuart Appelbaum, the president of the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, said, “We only wish that this administration cared as much about the lives of working people as it does about meat, pork and poultry products.”

The crazy thing is that if you kill off the workers there won’t be anyone to do the work necessary to keep those burgers coming. Taking Applebaum’s concerns one step further: one could venture that if you are a pig, your odds of survival may be higher than the people that process it.

But go forth workers. The Don needs his burgers. And why settle for a cheeseburger when you can have a Covid Burger?

**Bardo– In Tibetan Buddhism a state of existence between death and rebirth, varying in  length according to a person’s conduct in life and manner of, or age at, death.

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[simontams]

HEY NAT NAT BEN BEN WHAT ABOUT TORCHWOOD 🔥🔥🔥

I feel personally targeted. And I want that in writing.

Okay here goes nothing. *Rolls up sleeves*.

Warning: Will likely evolve into a long, in-depth, Torchwood analysis

Favourite Character:

I’m half asleep as it is and you go and encourage me to talk about Ianto Jones, who is not only my favourite character in this show, but probably overall.

The question is, can I pinpoint why?

Can I articulate how much this character genuinely means to me without just giving up and keyboard smashing at like 2am?

Okay, to start with, he’s not in the first two series an awful lot, however much I try to convince myself otherwise, but the development he does get is credit-worthy. And I think from the start, I was won over by his priceless expressions, sarcastic humour and sweet demeanour. Yet, throughout my numerous rewatches, the occasional bleaker episode, and low-key audio addiction, I’ve learned that there is more than meets the eye and maybe that's what makes him so interesting to me- All characters have more to them that originally assumed but there’s so many aspects to Ianto’s personality that slowly reveal themselves that you cant possibly know everything. You keep on learning and wondering about his past, his motivations, his true feelings- I’ve seen on countless occasions people labelling him as overrated and simply seen as that outside innocent coffee boy (sure, its the button on the top), but I think his clear popularity could be because a lot of people, dare I say, relate to him?

One of my favourite things about the Doctor Who universe especially and, in turn, Torchwood, is that it is real, it has real characters who have real emotions and real flaws, which shouldn't be excluded as they only add to their human degree of complexity- what would the series be without returning home to a concerned Jackie Tyler for a cup of tea every once in a while? without seeing characters reach behind that innate curiosity at the science-fiction and occasionally express fear at what is uncomfortable and unknown?

Doctor Who is not about aliens, it’s about people- and Ianto Jones is no exception. And in some ways, he can be the most human of them all- his excitement and confidence when he’s viewed as Jack’s boyfriend, his maintained calm exterior that he chooses to present to the world, his friendship with Tosh and the others, his weird habits and his humour, right up until his brutally heartfelt death scene.

 Ianto Jones is one of the only characters that I am sure will remain this close to my heart, and I constantly switch between connecting to him and marvelling at how much more there is to see. Not to be too deep or over-exaggerated, but under everybody's excitable obsessions with TV shows, bands, books- there's something that genuinely helped them learn more about themselves and grow as a person behind it, they represent a certain time in that individuals life and that has to be appreciated- in the same way, that can be said for my attraction to Torchwood as a whole and towards Ianto as a character.

Second Favourite Character:

Now that we’ve accepted me as a high-key, over-the-top teenaged fan, hence somehow continuing reading, let’s move on to the impossible choice of, who do I prefer more: Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper or Jack Harkness? (I’ll mention my  Gwen angst later).

Firstly Jack, will always, in my eyes, be one of the most deep and fascinating characters from what I’ve seen of the franchise as a whole- the contrast between the self-assured and flirtatious alien, the darker side of his immortality, and even the earlier con-man interpretation of his endlessly gripping character. Some of my favourite aspects of him in Torchwood are when we see him through his own outlived eyes; his loneliness or anger or even fragility, the latter being especially in regards to his relationship with Ianto and his over-arching knowledge that nothing lasts for him. And while he will always be one of my favourite characters in general, this one is a close call and I regret to view him as anything less than such- but I’m gonna have to go with Owen.

But first, let me appreciate Tosh- underestimated, brave, intelligent and affectionate Tosh, who is so close to Owen in terms of my tribute, it was near impossible to choose between the pair- in fact it still is and if asked this another time I would probably change my mind repeatedly. She tries so hard to gain approval and security, she's just genuinely lovable...and she did good.

I know Owen- apparently I’m having an Owen day- is disliked by the best of us in season 1, and some still after, I mean he is outwardly an arsehole, he's even aware of such, and the way he treats others including Tosh is inexcusable- but it’s season 2 where I genuinely fell in love with him, if not, mid-way through the first season after seeing the affects of Diane’s departure and his more sensitive self. Because like I said before- these human qualities, however negative, only add to him as a character.

When all the ‘dying drama’ goes down we realise how truly fragile he is, and in Fragments we see this to an even greater extent pre-torchwood: he's had a bad time of it, to say the least. And I will place him in second place after Ianto primarily due to this drastic turn and the realisation that he is such a prime example of ‘messed up and imperfect yet completely misunderstood’ and deep down, one of the most sensitive and caring of the lot.

I especially love when he begins to open up to Tosh and the numerous scenes in ‘a day in the death’ such as running into the bay or Ianto telling him to not let himself get beaten after all he has done, and that's also why that is one of my favourite episodes- I love this side of his character and how it contributes to him on the whole.

Character I’m Most Like:

God. Okay.

I honestly think this has to be the shortest reply yet. And for all the explanations worth, it has to be Ianto. Owen is angsty as hell, Tosh is kind and smart, Jack is tired, above everything and Gwen is adamant and sociable-

Ianto is humorous and loyal.

-Yet, somehow has the potential to be all of the other things too, and at times, has been. Which only furthers my previous point of him being relatable to most viewers at certain times throughout because of that.

Favourite Pair:

Now we’re talking.

There’s a word, a cursed, ancient term that’s been floating around the internet for a while now....: Janto.

Typical romance story, boy meets boy, boy is immortal alien, boy falls in love with welsh nerd who looks good in a waistcoat, the usual, yet...

Next, the heavy stuff :)

Ianto has so much love to give and he chooses to give it to Jack. His last serious relationship ended in tragedy and he finds himself in a casual fling with this, said immortal alien guy, who’s also...his mysterious boss. He appears genuinely happy and confident for the first time in a while and his utter joy will purify souls for many years to come.

But it’s not that simple, is it? It never has been. Because it gets serious and they can escape into their own connection outside of their work and all the other crap the team go through. They begin to understand each other on a deeper level despite their differences- and it’s fated to end in disaster:  Ianto’s death.

One of the most heart-breaking yet beautiful and bittersweet factors of the show is this relationship. The most traumatic realisations? moments when Ianto acknowledges his mortality compared to Jacks curse to out-live everybody he loves (The dead line and Day 4, I’m looking at you). Maybe it’s on Jacks behalf that the extent and importance of their bond get highlighted- He unwillingly falls for Ianto and he in no way wants to recognize the unwavering sincerity of what they have, or at least publically, hence his hesitance when Ianto is proud to be seen as a couple at the beginning of Children Of Earth, because he doesn’t want to see something so good end and hurt him, again.

Also, the fact that their relationship is so private? It’s got a significant part to play when prompting the importance of what they have. Jack is characteristically flirty and outgoing, yet he keeps his feelings for Ianto close and guarded-  because they mean that much to him. All of their intimate conversations- they're alone. It just develops and adds meaning and weight to their taboo ending.

That inevitably brings me onto the unspeakable death scene. I can wholeheartedly say that I have never witnessed such an emotional scene where a character has been killed off? It just, it gets to you? and I probably don't need to say that twice.

I don’t even know what it is, and I don’t care about the ‘he should never have been killed off’ or ‘he died for nothing’, god I want him to live as much as anybody, but they did choose to kill him off- and it was art.

The entirety of COE was, it was horrific and too close for comfort and one of the best pieces of television that I will ever have the pleasure to watch. Because it is raw and it’s soulful and it’s real and it breaks you- and god I wouldn’t want one of my favourite characters to go in any other way than something with this level of reputation and emotion.

The way Jack falls onto the floor next to Ianto, the ballad of Ianto Jones playing, the bigger picture of the theme of the series, them out of their comfort zone, beyond their control, influencing this, the government officials overlooking such an intimate moment, the way Jack tells them 'not him’ (that’s where I loose it, god I’m choked up just thinking about it), after Ianto tried to be the hero and stand next to Jack and help him confront the mistakes of his past- showing him that he's there for him when others doubt him, showing him that he can change and resolve it with him by his side, yet seeing that their efforts do not directly succeed? its not showing Ianto died with no final influence, its to show the extent of the bigger issue, it is out of their hands and that's why Children Of Earth is so, for want of a better word, scary- Gwen relating this degree of destruction to the absence of our established hero, The Doctor- terrifying.

How Jack wakes up and sees Ianto, how the audience see this character they've grown to love, dead, how defeated Jack looks with the knowledge that he will have to move on and can’t do anything about what had happened- it is seriously too much and can anybody who is that deeply connected to a scene, really hate on it for whatever reason?

God Jack blames himself, God Torchwood was the death of me-

you know I watched Children Of Earth over the evening of Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning? I watched Ianto Jones die on Christmas day 2015. Yeah.

Least Favourite Pair:

What the ever loving shit is Gwack.

(I like how you tiptoed around this Evie, and I just-)

Okay. I don't like Gwen. 

Now hear me out, I don't like her in the first and second series. She was a cheat and I accept this as part of her character, and Owens, but it doesn't mean I have to ignore or like it- she also treat the others like they didn't understand, like they couldn't feel and aren't affected by what they see like she is when they've been through so much more in terms of their background- she is rash and selfish and Rhys deserved better.

There I said it- however, it is party due to the writing, she had a lot of potential but she can’t be treated as such a ‘nice’ or relatable character and role model, as the person who enters this alien world for the audience to relate to when she gets away with these things. But I’ll hold my hands up and says she grows up a lot come COE and in the books and audios.

Despite my feelings about Gwen- she has still got a boyfriend either way. No offence, meh, ish, but there is nothing between her and Jack romantically- if anything she merely represents the normal life that Jack cant have. The many, many, uncomfortable scenes when she stares at Jack while kissing Rhys, the flirting with who she thought was him on her wedding day, the part where he's teaching her how to shoot, its just that, its awkward and there's nothing to it. Why voluntarily choose to treat her as this person who uses people and makes excuses for herself when you can emphasise and focus on her other truly good qualities like her bravery?

Why dig for something that isn't there, they have a great friendship, why simplify that? he mentors her and she has Rhys, he has Ianto, there's so much depth to that relationship as I've been through, why choose to overlook it?

But ‘don't like’ isn't as strong a word as ‘hate’, I just don't understand why somebody would make it this hard to view her as redeemable- I know she is flawed, like the others- I just find it harder avoid and grasp why people want to  further those parts of her and view it in a positive light and accept or ignore her cheating.

Gwen, I can hesitantly can get on board with, she is still part of the show I love, and while I can’t admit forgiving her I can say that her character, in turn, deserved better and while I acknowledge the problems she has, I appreciate her in COE, etc, because she does begin to develop and prove herself a bit more.

Nonetheless, I will never ‘get’ Jack and Gwen, it just doesn't rub me up the right way and seems pointless, it seems like ‘bait’ that some fans have fallen for and for me, it takes away so much of all of the characters involved and I’d rather view them for who they are rather than hinting at a negative version of who they could be.

And I'm sorry but Gwen and Owen are just bad for each other- they both deserve better than that.

Owen and Tosh? Beautiful and they should have gotten that date, they know each other so well and their death scene- why is this show so traumatic. But don't even get me started on that one-

‘Because you’re breaking my heart.’

Favourite Moment (s):

To be blunt:

Day 4- Ianto dies, yes really, #1, sorry...yeah..

Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, Forehead Kiss, (Janto, in Adam)

A Day In The Death- Owen underwater, also in top 3...

‘No, ‘cause the phones aren't working’,

Captain Jack Harkness- Jack & Jack Dance, close second

‘Who’s for Chinese?’ ft. actually eating it and having a nice time Tm

When, in fragments, Owen first enters the hub and he is talking to Jack about how he's going to try to save as many people as he can but it'll  never be enough

I’m not sure of the episode, likely ‘A Day In The Death’, but Tosh and Owen have a talk, wait was it ‘Dead Man Walking?’...yeah it was...

Broken, audio- Yeah, that- the car scene where their relationship truly begins and ‘stop the car’, ‘my coffee.’

‘Space Pig, Yeah?’

Fragments- ‘Jones. Ianto Jones’. ‘Captain Jack Harkness’

Does the John Barrowman ringtone blooper count? ;)

Not to approach the unapproachable, and it's not my favourite ‘cause that's like twisted but- ‘the Steven thing’ deserves a mention just for the fact that Jacks expression will haunt me forever

‘The world’s always ending, and I have missed that coat’

Did I mention the entirety of COE?

A Torchwood Captain and an ex-time agent walk into a bar...

Virus short story, ending and the part where Ianto goes rogue and badass

The goodbye in COE- should have ended there, it lost its weight

Consider this: In the shadows audio- Ianto, he just-

‘The Sin Eaters’ audio, cat falls through lift, that's all you need to know really, isn't it?

‘house of the dead’ when its all over and somebody approached jack and he answers them but then they go away and he- ‘goodbye Ianto’

‘Gwen....mine’s got a bell’, ‘Jack and Coffee’, ‘Lost Souls, audio

Honestly I've probably forgotten moments that I mention 24/7 but these are the ones that come to mind

I warned you that it was gonna be an uncharacteristically long one

Rating:

10/10...

Did you expect anything else after all of that? For all its imperfections, this show will always welcome me back with open arms, I’ve taken so much from it and it will remain my favourite show along with Doctor Who itself.

Funny Story: 5am

I told you Evie, I did.