#the other spaceships that are people do complain

[traveler-at-heart]

Average

Summary: Natasha and you make an unlikely pair.

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

“Describe yourself in one word”

Boring.

No, not boring. You’ve traveled, even if it was to the places everyone goes to when they’re backpacking through Europe.

You have friends, go out to the movies, you love concerts.

Like everyone else. You are like everyobody else.

Average.

“Y/N?” Holly insists, making you snap out of your thoughts.

Right, this is about her dating profile, not an existencial crisis inducing question for you.

You can focus on that while you take your Thursday bath.

“Curious” you offer.

“Like the monkey”

“Adventurous”

“So a harlot?”

“Oh, my God! Difficult, the word you are looking for is difficult” you sigh, crashing against your desk. Your friend laughs, going back to her phone.

“I’m writing down sexy”

—

The question sticks with you as you go back home.

Average height, average hair color. Regular clothes. 9 to 5 job. You’re smart, but not particularly good at anything.

There’s nothing outstanding about your small, normal family life as well.

And honestly? You like it, but if you were to go out with someone tomorrow, would you even know what to talk about?

It’s one of those days, where you aren’t sure if you’re stuck in your comfort zone or happy and fulfilled with what you have.

While you prepare dinner for one and eat in front of the tv, you can’t help but hope that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be out of the ordinary.

—

Careful what you wish for.

Flying aliens across New York are definitely out of the ordinary.

When you wished for an exciting day, you kinda hoped to spot a celebrity, or eat something nice out. Not be a first hand witness of the end of the world.

People are running in every direction, screaming terrified. You’re ready to join the mass hysteria, but something makes you look around the street.

There’s a woman trapped under some metal, struggling to free herself.

Aliens blast around you, and you’re torn.

Run.

And you do, except that against all logic, it’s towards the woman.

“You need to evacuate” she says, waving her hand. “Someone come in, damn it”

Judging by her outfit, and the way she places her fingers over her ear, she must be an agent in the field.

The woman probably knows how to protect herself. Maybe she could easily get out of it. Or it’s her job to die to protect others.

Either way, it’s unacceptable for you to leave her behind.

“Come on” you use a piece of a spaceship for leverage, lifting the heavy object that’s trapping her.

“Careful” when she looks up, she sees one of the aliens throwing something at you. Pushing you out of the way, you both stumble down the destroyed street until a tall man comes to the rescue.

“Took your sweet time” the woman complains.

“Sorry. Who are you?”

“A citizen. Take her to safety”

“Wait” you plead, but he’s already carrying you to the evacuation zone.

“I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Steve Rogers”

Oh, well, getting carried by Captain America definitely doesn’t happen to you every day.

Wish granted.

—

It’s been a week and the city is slowly getting rebuilt. It’s not like they have another choice. New York can’t stop, not even for an alien invasion.

So, life goes back to being the same.

9 to 5, cooking, old movies.

Meeting with friends, who were eager to hear your story about being rescued by Captain America. In a few days, they’d forget.

You seem to have a problem with that, because you can’t forget that beautiful woman and her red hair, striking green eyes looking at you while you helped her.

It’s stupid, really. You don’t even know her name.

But as days go by, you remember more things that seemed to be lost in the moment.

That cute little nose, her full lips.

She’s the most beautiful…

“Excuse me”

It takes you a moment to understand someone’s speaking to you. As you turn around, you find the woman, staring at you with a smile.

“Hi” you say, a little too loudly.

“Hello. Glad to see you made it out safely”

“Yes, well, Captain America made sure of that” you nod, fidgeting with your hands.

Now that there’s no aliens or an imminent threat, her attention is on you and nothing else, which makes you squirm a little.

“Can I… buy you a coffee? To thank you for saving my life”

“No need to thank me” you say, hoping she asks again because you’re eager to spend time with her.

“I insist” she says with a smile.

That’s all it takes for you to agree.

She let’s you choose the place, a small café close to where you live.

You finally learn her name when the barista takes her coffee order.

Natasha.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N” she says when you get your own drink, and she pays for the both of you. “Wanna sit down for a bit?”

Of course, you want to know everything you can about Natasha. So you nod, and let her pick a table for you to sit.

“I’m really grateful”

“It’s what anyone…”

“Most people were running away from danger, not towards it. Especially for a stranger” she says, smiling.

You decide that you really like her smile.

“Well, most of my friends wouldn’t believe me if I told them it happened. I’m a pretty average person”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah” you shrug your shoulders.

“Tell me your favorite song” she asks suddenly and you roll your eyes. “What?”

“That’s such a generic question! I have tons of them, it depends on my mood”

“Favorite song to dance to while cleaning” Natasha asks again and this time you nod, thinking about it.

“The Piña Colada song” you say, trying not to laugh. “You?”

“Uhm… Bad Reputation” she confesses.

“Yeah, you look like a Joan Jett kind of girl”

“Is that good or bad?” Natasha arches her eyebrows, intrigued.

“It means you’re a badass and cool. I think, don’t take my word for it”

“No; I think I will”

You sip your drink, feeling intimidated by her intense stare.

“How did you find me?” you ask, remembering she only knew what you look like.

“It’s kind of my job to find people. What’s yours?”

“Something far less interesting” you deflect the question, but Natasha keeps looking at you. “Data analysis”

“Sounds important”

“It isn’t” you say, smiling. “Not as much as saving the world, at least”

You keep talking for a bit, until Natasha gets a call. That’s fine, you know how to take a hint.

While she’s talking, you go up to the counter and ask for another coffee and a sandwich.

“Are you still hungry? We can get something to eat” Natasha says, concerned. You find it endearing.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks for the coffee”

“I don’t think it’s enough to thank you”

“You really don’t have to”

“Let’s go to the movies another time. Would you like that?” Natasha says, smiling as you bite your lip.

“Yeah, ok”

“I think I should get your number, just in case”

You agree with a smile.

And after the short walk home, you hear your phone ping.

Natasha: Wednesday at 7?

Y/N: See you then :)

—

It’s strange, to develop a friendship with someone whose life is the opposite of yours.

Natasha always asks you things about yourself, things that you think are irrelevant. But maybe she does it because her work is all about secrets, and there’s not much to share on anything else.

“Did you go to prom?” she asks one night as you’re walking back to your apartment.

“Yeah, with my gay best friend. We were each other’s beards”

That makes Natasha laugh, but for some reason she tenses a second later, standing in front of you.

“Hey, Y/N” a man says, and you recognise the voice instantly. Your hand goes around Natasha’s wrist, sliding all the way to hold her hand. You squeeze once to let her know it’s ok, and the man in front of you is not a threat.

“Homer, hi” you greet the man who is usually living in abandoned buildings. “Did you get the clothes I left for you?”

“I did and I shared them with Pop, we’re nice and warm now”

“Alright, I’ll stop by later in the week with some food, ok?”

“Much appreciated. Have a good one, ladies”

He’s pretty harmless, but you understand that Natasha has to be on guard all the time.

“I’m sorry” she says, still holding your hand. “I tend to think the worst of people”

“From everyone? Including me?”

“Never you” she shakes her head. “You’re too kind”

“I’m just an average person” you repeat, the same way you’ve done your whole life.

“You’re wrong” Natasha says.

She doesn’t let go of your hand for the rest of the walk.

—

It’s been a few months since you started hanging out with Natasha. There are times when she’s away for days, or weeks, and you just know she’ll show up after the mission.

You’re always home and you’re always there to welcome her back.

A part of you is still playing dumb, but you know those lingering stares and small touches are becoming a problem. Each time, your heart beats faster, and you find that you spend more and more time wondering what it would be like to kiss her.

There’s gotta be a way to stop these foolish dreams, because Natasha is an agent, a trained spy, and a hero. You are a girl from the midwest, who moved to a big city and still gets lost in the subway from time to time.

Maybe spending less time together could be the solution, but it’s impossible for you to say no to her.

Which is why you’re waiting outside of the theater. You don’t really like ballet, or rather, it’s a little too sophisticated for your simple mind, but Natasha insisted on taking you, and buying you some fancy clothes.

It all sounds very nice, except she’s not here and you’re freezing, refusing to head inside until you see her.

Natasha’s phone is dead too.

After an hour, you convince yourself to head home, and call a cab. It’s too far away to walk with these heels that were also not your idea.

You stop by the café that you and Natasha like, ordering a hot cocoa for you and coffee and a sandwich for another woman who is usually sleeping in the streets.

“Looking like a million dollars” she says, accepting the food with a smile. “Did you have a good time?”

“No, not really. My friend didn’t show” you sigh.

“Is it the girl that follows you around everywhere like a lost puppy?”

You laugh at that. There’s no way the Black Widow acts like a lost puppy around you.

“You mean my friend Natasha? Yeah, she was probably busy with work”

“Her loss” the woman tsks.

“Well, here” you notice the air is cold and the woman’s gloves are basically shreds of fabric. “These will help”

“You’re a doll”

Another hour goes by and just as you’re about to leave and look for Natasha, she rushes to your door, knocking frantically.

“I’m sorry, mission ran long”

Of course you step aside to let her in, because you can never be mad at her for being busy saving the world. But still, you stay silent as you walk to the kitchen, knowing she’ll be right behind you.

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you? Of course, you have every right to be. I made you dress up and then stood you up…”

“Nat” you interrupt her, frowning. “I don’t care about that. I’m a big girl, I could have gone inside and enjoyed the show. I just…”

“What? What is it?”

“Well, I was really scared about you” you confess, turning your back to her. “I know enough about your job to understand it’s dangerous, and I just kept fearing the worst. Would it have been so difficult to text me to let me know you were ok?”

You finish your rant with a huff, crossing your arms and turning to look at her.

And Natasha is smiling.

“This isn’t funny”

“No, it’s not. You’re just cute even when you’re angry”

“Not the time to joke”

“Who said I’m joking?” she gets in your way when you try to leave the kitchen, thinking she’s being impossible.

“What are you doing?” you say when she leans forward, placing her hands on your arms.

“Just let me show you” she asks, and then you feel her lips on yours, kissing you slowly. Only when you place your hands on her neck, does she pull you by the waist and deepens the kiss.

“Why…”

“I don’t know if you know this, but I’m in love with you” she confesses when you break apart.

“But I’m just av…”

“Don’t say it” she pulls you against her, your noses inches apart. “The world can be a very bad place sometimes. And you have no idea how hard it is to find someone as kind as you”

“It’s nothing”

“It’s everything” she smiles, kissing you again. “Can I make it up to you for missing our date?”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach when she calls it a date. You nod, smiling.

“Same old dinner and movie plan?”

“Sounds perfect to me”

[unintentionalseductress]

Hi!!! If you're still taking requests, can you do a bodyguard headcanon for the LADS boys pls and thanks 🙏

After talking to @ballorawan740 a little more, an extra detail added for the request was that MC was hired as a bodyguard for a young girl by their family. So I made all the men single dads for this HC. IDK who had they this child with or how it happened, just go with it.

Hey Miss Bodyguard...

Zayne:

He's a rich, famous, doctor stretched thin. He hadn't expected being a single dad would be this challenging. Being the youngest person to win the Starcatcher award was no small feat after all.

His fear stems from his refusal to work with Ever. He's terrified that they'll take his daughter as leverage.

He holds interviews of course, because how else can he find the best person to keep his little girl safe? When you walk in, he feels a connection that was absent with the other candidates. You got along easily with his child, and it was obvious that you cared for her more than beyond seeing her as a paycheck.

He keeps things professional and beyond offering you a drop home at night or sometimes bringing takeout, he mostly keeps to himself, but he's drawn to the way you spend time with his daughter. He sees how happy she is around you, and he's confident in your abilities to keep her safe.

It's his daughter that points out he likes you. "Miss...I think my daddy like you!" she'll say matter-of-factly while she gets her shoes on for school. Zayne nearly chokes on his coffee, his ears turning red as you stifle a laugh behind your hands, ushering her out the door. Later that day, Zayne calls asking if it would be all right if he asked you to dinner. You accept of course, because how could anyone resist the stoic, handsome, doctor with the cute daughter?

Sylus:

Sylus has a never-ending list of reasons as to why he needed a bodyguard for his daughter. He was the leader of an organized crime group after all, and there were several people who would gladly claim his head on a platter.

He tried to entrust Luke and Kieran but after an almost near accident at a gun range he decided maybe they weren't the best choice.

His daughter is suspicious of you when Sylus hires you. You simply looked out of place in the N109 zone and part of her didn't feel like you were 'one of them'. She would constantly complain to Mephisto and insist uncle Luke and uncle Kieran weren't that bad, and that they were sorry about the gun range incident.

You finally gain her trust when you teach her how to shoot soda cans with your hunter's gun. She's impressed and says you're not a bad shot, the highest compliment she could think of.

She expresses her approval to her dad and says to him, "daddy, she can outshoot you. You should shoot guns together." Sylus who is tossing a salad for their meal glances at you thoughtfully just as you're about to walk out the door. "Is that so? Well, what does our bodyguard think?" You'll freeze for a minute and retort that you had to think about it and leave. Sylus smiles reassuringly at his daughter. "That's a yes."

Xavier:

Xavier decides to ask you to be his daughter's bodyguard after finding out there are traitors amongst the Backtrackers. Their anger at him for deciding to stay in this timeline with his daughter knew no bounds. He feared they would kidnap her and attempt to fly back to dying Philos. They'd never make it, he knew, given the condition of their spaceship. His bigger concern was them getting stuck in the deepspace tunnel with no way to find their coordinates.

Xavier's daughter has an easy relationship with you. She's seen you around the building before and you always have candy ready for her sweet tooth. If Xavier was too busy to give her attention, then down the elevator she came to knock on your door.

On multiple occasions Xavier has come down to retrieve his daughter from you, reminding her that it's not ok to visit when you were off duty. This upsets her and she looks at you teary-eyed and you insist that she's not a bother.

At this point his daughter bursts out loudly, "Daddy, I'm always either at our place or hers. Miss should just move in with you so that I don't have to come downstairs anymore!" Both you and Xavier laugh awkwardly, both of you blushing before bidding each other good night.

But after Xavier has put his daughter to bed, he considers the idea. It seemed practical, but he knew you'd never go for it. So instead he asks you if you'd be interested in joining him for hot pot one of these days.

Rafayel:

Rafayel somehow believes that because you are his bodyguard, it means you are his daughter's too. Even after you told him it would cost double since you're trying to protect two people he shrugs it off and asks Thomas to write you a check for more.

The young girl is similar to her dad and has an artistic flair, painting breathtaking landscapes and adorable little cartoons alike. She often watches you chastising her dad for not following rules and not being safe enough and senses there's more there.

She can't help but notice that some of her dad's portraits feature people with features similar to yours; the same nose, the shape of your eyes, or the fullness of your lips. When she points this out Rafayel shakes his head in denial.

Determined to be right, she pulls you into his studio where all the portraits are kept while he's out one day. You do see the resemblance but try to console the girl that artists can find inspiration from anywhere, and it might not be as simple as him having feelings for you. Of course, she pouts (so much like her dad!) and that's when Rafayel walks in.

You ask him to correct his daughter, that your relationship is strictly professional. Rafayel sighs dramatically, then says, "Yeah, it's professional. But only because I can't get her to change her mind." His daughter smirks in triumph and you leave the room blushing, wondering how you got tangled up with this family.

© unintentionalseductress original work | no copying, plagiarizing or translating

@brekkersgf @ladyparamount @otomegamesforlife @shddyboo @supernaturalbaesduh @sweets-kozume @theimmortalbuns @venussakura

[whereserpentswalk]

The reason why that joss whedon/mcu style "he's right behind me" humor is so unpleasant is because it's written with contempt for the worldbuilding most of the time.

Basically a lot of that quippy joss whedon style humor is written by people who are uncomfortable with the concept of genre fiction, but who are writing it any way, so they basically end up having their characters voice their opinion on the setting. Something like the "a cannibal named Hannibal isn't that a little on the nose" from that what if other movies were written by joss whedon meme doesn't work, not just because it's humor in an otherwise serious thing (tons of serious movies have comic relief) but because it's a comment someone would only make if they're reacting to the the name as if it's something written, and not like it's a real name they encountered.

It's terrible writing, but it's not about tone like how most people think, it's about characterization. Good character writing tends to rely on thinking about who the character is and what they'd do in the situation they're in. This type of humor does the exact opposite, it ignores crucial elements of who a character is so they can say something that the writer wants desperately to be said.

To use a more concrete example, there's an exchange in Firefly, a series joss whedon wrote before his worst writing quirks infected all of Hollywood like a locust plague. The exchange surrounds the characters reacting to one of the characters being revealed to have gained psychic powers via lobotomy. One character says skeptically "psychic powers, what kind of scifi nonsense is this" and another character replies "we live on a spaceship."

Now, this exchange has bothered me since I was a child. Spaceships are a normal thing in the firefly universe, every single character has lived their entire life with them being mundane vehicles, while psychic powers have just been revealed to be a thing to the audience. There's no reason why it would make sense for any character to see those two things as equivalent. The only people who that line makes sense to are the writers. It's like a perfectly constructed attack on suspension of disbelief, actively making fun of an audience who gets invested in the characters and their lives.

And the worst part about it, is that if it was just the first line, (the, "what type of scifi nonsense is this") without the reply, (the, "We live in a spaceship"). It would have worked better, both as a joke and as a peice of character writing.

It would have worked better as a joke without the reply, because it would have been actually subtle about the irony of a character in a spaceship complaining about something in his life seeming too scifi. The reply is basically just explaining the joke. It would have worked better as a worldbuilding line. Because what's weird for characters in a setting vs what's normal for them is a really hard thing to get across, and the first line gets it across pretty elegantly. And then the reply takes that elegant peice of writing and completely destroys it because of the writers insecurities about writing a story that takes place in space.

Anyway. Joss whedon is a badish writer and his worst tendencies should not have become Hollywood standard. All of this came from me re-watching old episodes of adventure time yesterday and wondering why the humor works there and why other media's humor doesn't work.

[jymwahuwu]

Wrote some!! This is the second part of the abo story, you meet your two future Alpha husbands😽😽

part 1

cw: dystopian au, forced breeding policy

You borrow some credit from a friend and save it to a temporary payment card for daily payments. Now your bank account has been frozen by the government - for the hilariously unbelievable reason of not being pregnant beyond the appropriate reproductive age.

You don’t really want to get married, and you’ve criticized and complained about this weird policy on social media in the past. Now you are faced with this situation… There aren’t many options here, and you have to consider marriage and having children. You have no doubt that this government will really force you to be sent to a breeding facility.

News channels have reported that Omega and Beta citizens who repeatedly ignored warnings were sent to breeding facilities and stuck on the wall to wait for thorough breeding and pregnancy. Those citizens who emphasized "reproductive freedom" had their mouths gagged and their hands tied behind their backs. They whimpered and struggled to be stimulated and expanded by dildos, and finally broke and apologized in the water pool.

You-you don’t want to experience…

Before heading out, you circled in front of the mirror and checked your clothes. The two Alphas made an appointment with you to meet and talk in a restaurant. Even though you're dating two people right now, you've only chatted with one of them on the site. He said that the other Alpha believed that marriage and dating had to be discussed in real person. He has a point too. You agreed.

You board a spaceship (no physical currency is required this time, so you breathe a sigh of relief), and check the planned route on the map app to note which station you want to get off the spaceship at. Cheap ships have their downsides. That means the time it takes to travel is doubled, and the number of stations passed is doubled. Tired and shaken along the way, you fell asleep on the spacecraft and finally reached your destination.

After searching for a few minutes, you looked up and were shocked by the decoration of the restaurant. The elegant and luxurious restaurant decoration uses black and purple as the main tone. A foreign song is faintly passed in the air, exuding a quiet and comfortable atmosphere. The Milky Way can be observed in real time outside the window. The sofas and seats for guests are spaced apart and organized. This is very different from the ordinary restaurants you usually go to. Embarrassed, you flipped through the electronic menu in front of the door, wondering if there would be a discount on takeout, and wanted to send a message to them to tell them that they made an appointment at the wrong restaurant. Alas…how are you going to pay for it now…

"Hello, do you have an appointment?" The waiter at the door was filled with a friendly smile. You just feel more pressure. "W-wait, I'll send a message to my friend."

You: I'm here, but wait, is this here? Did I go to the wrong place? 🥹

You: [Restaurant link in the food app]

Aventurine: No, that's right^^ We're already here.

You: okay

As soon as you enter the restaurant, a bouquet of flowers is blocked from view in front of you, the fragrance is overflowing, and the delicate petals are condensed with bright colors and vitality. What's this? You took a step back in fear. A head with blond hair poked out from behind the flowers, with dazzling bright eyes. "Hello, this is a wedding gift." He explained with a smile.

Wedding gift? You were so frightened that your hands trembled, holding a large bouquet of flowers. The flowers are so crowded that they must be leaned on your shoulders.

"Hmm…? Just kidding. This is an engagement gift."

You paused after hearing his explanation. You are not engaged, or even agreed to be engaged to these two Alphas. This must be Aventurine. He was just as flirtatious and cheerful as he sounded on the Internet, sitting down and placing the bouquet in your hand back in its place. Sitting next to him was a man with a frown. "I've had enough of your peacocking. It's so grandiose."

"Ah, of course the more expensive the gift, the better. Everyone's feelings can be reflected in it, right?"

"Hello, I'm Veritas Ratio." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded to you.

[youngbounty]

Okay, out of all the things people are complaining about this story (and I am planning to review this so believe me when I say there are problems), Damian’s line right here is what you guys have a problem with?

For those complaining about Jason having one night stands, have you never read any issue of Red Hood and the Outlaws. This is referencing Jason’s lovers being short lived and YES Jason has canonly had one night stands. Literally the first time he met Starfire was on an island naked as a jaybird (no pun intended) and she offered him sex, because it is how she got to know people at the time.

The comic was during the New 52 era and yeah they were being weird with Starfire in the first couple of issues with her being in bed with Roy and sorta Jason, BUT he has had one night stands in that comic. Two of them at least. One of the girls he had a one night stand with got dragged into a spaceship with him when he and the Outlaws were fighting an intergalactic war before she kicked the bucket.

Now, do I like it? Eh… they really did place Starfire OOC in the New 52, but she was dealing with a broken heart in her own way. As for Jason, he was still Jason just as he is in this comic. He just happens to enjoy one night stands when he’s lonely. Also, he never had one night stands in the Rebirth Outlaws since he was in a relationship with Artemis. He also got into a relationship with Rose in Zdarsky’s Batman I guess? Personally, I still consider his relationship with Artemis to be canon.

Point is, complaining about Damian claiming Jason has only one night stands is the most nothing burger to complain about rofl. What? You think Jason would never have one night stands? You think he never had? You think Zatanna never wiped out Batman’s memories so the rest of the Justice League can play Operation with Dr. Light? You think Billy’s Captain Marvel was never accused of pedophilia by the Justice League because he was in a relationship with Stargirl? ROFL you sweet summer child.

In all seriousness, Damian claiming Jason only goes for one night stands isn’t OOC for him and it’s so normalized in DC that the only character over 18 I’d be surprised has ever had a one night stand is Superman. Personally, I thought Damian’s line was funny, because HE’S NOT WRONG. You might as well complain about Tim being a cheating bastard too.

Here’s a tear jar for you 🫙 I don’t know what to tell you.

As for the other complaints, no Damian saying Stephanie is “too female” isn’t misogynist. Most girls go to other girls for dating advice and not guys for the same reason (too male in this case). Damian is only looking for advice from a guy’s perspective, because yes guys vs girls dating have different expectations. Blame it on our cultural society or whatever, but it is what it is. Both genders are guilty of this, because it’s expected from homosexual relationships too.

No, there is nothing wrong with Damian going to Tim for dating advice. It makes the most sense actually. Damian even broke it down in this one.

Damian’s a little shit and will say things in the most mean way possible. I thought that scene was funny, because as I’ve said DAMIAN IS NOT WRONG rofl. I laughed my ass off reading that.

Co’mon guys, let Tim and Damian have their story. We hardly ever see them working together, helping the other or hell getting along. If you’re going to complain or cry about something, at least find something that actually is placing a character OOC. For all we know, Damian could just be saying that just to be a little shit and it’s not like Jason and Stephanie never showed up or got to be a shit back at Damian.

Lolz god this comic is funny. Red Hood’s outfit made my day and Steph kicking Damian’s ass was 😘

I will be reviewing the comic as I’ve said. You can find its entirety in my profile if you scroll down a bit. I’m hoping that those complaining about that one panel in the comic didn’t read it. If so, the entire comic is available on here and I’ve reposted. Read it before nitpicking on nothing burgers.

[brucewaynehater101]

Tim Ruler of worlds

In my head i think that the brucequest was way faster in this AU, when he realized that no one believed him about Bruce being alive Tim felt hopeless for half an hour before he remembered that he has a lot of planets under his rule and surely someone there could help him.

the only reason it took a month to get a team ready, was that there needed to be a competition for the honor of being on a team working directly under red robin, despite the time it took it was a great festival for his planets and a boost to tourism and trade, so Tim didn't complain.

Thanks to that + an spaceship, the Brucequest was over in less than a month, before Ra's even noticed that something was happening Tim was done.

but i'm not sure if i remember right but i think that in canon by the time Tim ends his quest the league had also realized that Bruce was alive, so here the only reason Tim ends up CEO of WI despite speedrunning the Brucequest is because the JL still didn't do anything even with a step-by-step slideshow on how to save Bruce, Tim is pissed but he has other things to do, so he just decides to try again later, but the one who is really pissed is Bruce when he discovers he could have been saved months earlier, but not a single person of the JL bothered to watch Tim's slideshow.

Also i called Tim red robin in this but i'm not sure if Tim would even be red robin in this AU, because having planets do competitions for the honor of working with you is very good for a person's confidence, i'm thinking that he was heading for a depressive spiral before the competition, but then seeing all the monuments the people of his planets built in his honor, the good he did for those planets, and the love they have for him as leader, really helped him grieve for his friends, rest a bit from all the stress from home and find hope in himself as more than robin, i think at this point since he's no longer Robin he reveals himself as Tim Drake for his subjects, the competion/festival lasts even longer because of that.

Also it really says something about Tim and his family that he considers ruling a multi-planetary empire more relaxing than being at home.

Oof! This has a great mixture of fix-it, fluff, and angst. You're right that maybe Tim would utilize the resources he has as a planetary ruler to aid him in the BruceQuest. Perhaps one of the reasons the JL refused to listen to Tim is because he managed to finish the BQ so quickly and refused to list his resources. I'm not sure exactly why, but perhaps this meant they didn't quite trust the info (not to mention all of the rumors of Tim not being mentally stable).

I'm not sure if Tim would release his civilian identity to these planets. However, I could see him creating an identity just for the plants to have a name to call him. He considers it like a royalty name or something. I do agree that with this AU, it makes sense for Tim to never take up the Red Robin mantle. I like Cardinal for him, but maybe he gets inspired by some myth by the planets.

A really funny and cool take would be the different planets having a prophecy about the hero that unites their planets and bring them prosperity. They start referring to Tim by this name (out of appreciation, love, and admiration). After repeatedly being referred to by this mantle, he decides to make it his vigilante name as well. I don't know what the name would be. Perhaps it means a significant amount in the aliens' language and gets roughly translated to English for Tim to use (like Superman's "S").

Honestly, Patron could also be a cool name for him.

[saphronethaleph]

Sekrit Documents

Olek Taks groaned.

“Oh, no,” he said. “Not again.”

“What’s not again?” his superior asked, looking across the office.

“What do you think?” Olek asked. “We’ve gone viral. Again. Space Thunder is the number one trending topic.”

Miles Hark rubbed his temples.

“Of course we have,” he said. “Is it too much to ask that it’s because of our latest update?”

He paused, amending his statement.

“Is it too much to ask that it’s because our latest update is something people actually like?”

“Of course it is,” Olek replied. “Number two is ‘leak’ and we’re seeing all the usual memes again.”

“All right, what is it this time?” Miles asked, going back over to his chair and leaning back with a creak of adaptive servos. “What was it last time, anyway?”

“Last time was the Tie Advanced, wasn’t it?” Rocomora said, not looking up from her screens. “Someone complained that we hadn’t correctly assigned shield strength values and posted the entire technical manual for the thing.”

“No, that was the time before last,” Olek told her. “Last time was the Incom T-65, the X-Wing. That time it was the manufacturer’s documents, someone was arguing that it should be killing off TIEs one on one because of its better all-round stats.”

He shook his head. “I’m pretty sure someone got fired over that one. Or arrested.”

“Am I getting mixed up?” Miles said. “I thought the last big argument was over the AT-TE and that wheel droid.”

“No, that was months ago,” Rocomora told him. “Easily. That guy was saying that the later model AT-TE walkers from RHE had the point defence system, and after eighty posts of flamewar he put up internal GAR documentation showing it. Even though we’d specifically only included the early model AT-TE precisely so we didn’t have to include the PD system for balance reasons.”

“So… one of the clones, right?” Olek asked. “They must have been the leaker!”

“Yeah, but how are you going to tell which one?” Rocomora asked. “They all look alike!”

Miles groaned.

“I hate how often we have to have this discussion,” he said. “So what was it this time?”

Olek was scrolling through the forums, now, and he clicked – then winced.

“Uh,” he said. “It’s about campaign mode.”

“Oh, no, not the persistent campaign mode,” Miles said, putting his head in his hands. “This is going to be about the gungans again, isn’t it?”

“Worse,” Olek replied. “Some poster or other said that there’s no way the Empire should be losing any planets, because if they lost them they’d just blow up the planet.”

Miles laughed.

“What, really?” he asked. “What kind of nonsense-”

He stopped.

“Oh, no,” he said. “Oh, no. You’re not saying…”

“Yep,” Olek agreed. “He posted complete technical specifications on this giant kriffing battlestation that’d take a week to cross on foot, accompanied by a picture of the thing. And now the thread’s growing at three pages a minute.”

“Why is it always us?” Miles demanded of the air. “Why don’t the idiots at Galaxy of Spaceships have to deal with this?”

[dingodad]

since you were obviously all so desperate to hear this, MY THOUGHS on the blood caste argument as of 2025:

rust: everyone actually seems to be okay with how these guys are depicted in the game which probably has something to do with Xefros being an actual character with a personality and not just a 2 dimensional NPC. so it's pretty clear the real problem people have with caste in hiveswap is that they expect every NPC to somehow be a fully unique and fleshed out individual which is ultimately friendsim's fault for tricking people into thinking the act 2 characters were anything but NPCs. on the other hand hiveswap has yet to make ANY kind of gag out of the fact that rustbloods seemingly work with buckets all the time so 0/10

bronze: there also seem to be fewer complaints about this one even though the bronzebloods are all clearly just variations on tavros. i think people are somehow okay with that because they're horny for skylla. BOOOOO. but it makes sense for the bronze caste to have that role cus tavros already had a ranch (even if we never rly see him do any ranching) and aspired to be a cavalreaper so it makes perfect sense that there would be other trolls with animal powers. so that's literally fine

gold: people love to point out that sollux' intro calls him a mutant even when the comic makes it so clear that alternia is bustling with mutants who are regularly used to power spaceships and shit. hiveswap even has a handful of goldbloods who aren't mutants for all the complainers. read an x men comic book noobs

karkat: ok obviously he is an outlier in terms of his blood but aside from that he is clearly the most normal troll alive that's like the whole conceit of his character

olive: this is a dumb one cus hiveswap still has not really told us what fucking job the olivebloods r supposed to have. i guess i could complain about the cat thing but at this point if hiveswap is telling us members of the same caste have similar lusii then that's probably FINE right. and the thing is people had been headcanoning olivebloods as having tails for no reason for YEARS before hiveswap came out so it's basically not even the game's fault. the real problem is that hiveswap tells us all olivebloods are feral kittygirls (ugh) but then pesterquest is like actttttually nepeta is a feral kittygirl cus she was made TRAGICALLY HOMELESS at a young age (UGHHHH). if act 3 can elaborate on this caste in any way i will probably be fine with it. it will be funny to find out what kind of Job a feral catgirl is supposed to have in this society

jade: don even get me fuckin started on tis shit.

teal: all of them being public servants is fine i guess. i've come to accept this. they're all just such boring characters

cobalt: having a caste of trolls whose job is being villains and miscreants is so funny at this point i've stopped giving a fuck what they're actually supposed to be about

indigo: if act 3 can make them grosser and less boring then they're literally fine

purple: i found the clown thing really cool before hiveswap but they have failed to interest me in these clowns so far. do something really cool with it

violet: do whatever will piss off eridan fans most

fuchsia: obviously there's only 2 of them but i have got into arguments with people who insist that trizza operating a reign of terror with an army of drones somehow means feferi was also in charge of alternia and responsible for everything that went on there. can someone give this girl a fucking break she just wants to play happy families with her pet fuckin squids

[romantic-ageru-yo]

I've made it one of my goals this year to fill in some of the gaps in my Dragon Ball knowledge and watch the movies/series/etc that I've never watched properly before; we're starting with Dragon Ball GT which I only saw a few random episodes of back in the 90s and I remember not really liking what I saw of it at the time

I've just finished the Black Star Dragon Ball saga, so here are a few first impressions from a proper watch-through

It's definitely just giving me OG Dragon Ball vibes with little shit Goku and wacky adventures with shooting Kamehamehas at volcanoes (why is that a recurring thing, and why does it work xD) and dressing Trunks up as a woman to trick the guy who's kidnapping girls is just the whole Oolong thing all over again, it's very nostalgic

Trunks is like 'we can't get involved in other planets' politics!!' and then they uh... get involved in every planets' politics that they land on xD Also Trunks being as terrible at flying/landing the spaceship as Bulma was in the Namek arc? Perfection, 10/10, no notes <3

Pan is fine in this, I don't know why I've seen people complain that she's horrible in GT? (unless I just haven't reached the parts with her being terrible yet, or she's terrible in the dub which isn't the version I'm watching) She's just acting like a bratty preteen because, y'know, she IS a preteen?? Also she's giving me strong Videl vibes which I love, back when Videl was allowed to have a personality, I actually like Pan a lot more as a character after what I've seen so far

I've seen people bring up the Para Para Brothers before when showing examples of why they think GT is bad, but why have I never seen anyone complain about the absolutely disgusting creep that sexually assaults Pan while she's in doll form?? The Para Para Brothers were fine by comparison, annoying and odd perhaps, but the other guy was literally making me feel physically ill

They really just abuse the crap out of this poor little robot omg where are the robot protection services?? Please protect this little guy!!

Myuu is just Space Gero, that's all I've been calling him, that's his name now

You know I can kind of see why some people ship Trunks & Pan; this show gives them a lot of chemistry together and never bothers to explain the weird age gap. If this was the only Dragon Ball series you'd ever seen for whatever reason, and you didn't have the context, you probably would pair them together... which then raises the question of why do GT and Super both kind of set Trunks up with these girls he has weird age gaps with?? Give this poor man an actual non-problematic love interest, he has already suffered enough!

Anyway, I'm onto the Baby saga now, which I know means we're going back to Earth to spend more time with the characters I'm actually interested in, so yay!!

[hijinxinprogress]

Young justice and the titans not getting along makes no sense to me. You’re telling me the titans did dumb shit and hated being micromanaged by the league but then a couple years later they’re doing the same thing?? that’s so dumb?? the titans are like “god you remember what we were doing when we were their age?? Were we that small?? Fuck, do you know what we’re supposed to do besides feed small people?? This would be so much easier if any of us went to therapy”

The titans help yj get away with shit all the time

“Young Justice just blew up one of Luthor’s vacation homes, did you know about this?? Where are they!?” “Who’s young justice? It’s not my fault…I plead the fifth…?”

Kori has claimed Kon and now has beef with Luthor and Clark

Besides Wally, Bart is closest with Kori and they trade stories about their homes bc it’s nice to talk to someone who’s gets it

Greta and Garth are like sitting at the bottom of a pool and gossiping about their teams

YJ and the titans have city wide manhunt games once a month and the jl hates it bc they wake up to their children trending bc they’re jumping off buildings or breaking into civilians’ houses to get away from each other

They race spaceships if they’re not on planet

Greta and Garth are the worst gossips so they just tell each other absurd things about their teammates completely aware that everyone will know within the next 4 hours

Everyone else makes jokes about how Kons what would happen if Kori and Nightwing had a son (he has anger issues, curly hair, he’s alternative, isn’t white, & he’s the mom friend)

Roy and Cissie only compete amongst themselves bc everyone was so sick of them winning that they started cheating or in Kori’s case incinerating the targets

One time he was talking to Kori about mental health stuff and she’s comforting him and mentions that “yeah you get that from nightwing” and nightwing cuts in “Kori, you do that too?? Don’t lie to him”

Whenever Kon loses his temper he’s not afraid of people thinking less of him for it bc it always sparks up the never ending debate about whether Nightwing or Starfire are responsible for Kons temper

“NO FUCK THIS, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK HIM, YOU FUCKING-” “he gets that from you” “he’s floating rn wdym” “yeah his fucking eyes are glowing that’s definitely Kori’s temper” “look at him doesn’t his face remind you of when kori was pissed after I broke my collarbone?” “no listen dick has that same crease between his eyebrows when he’s mad”

“I’m your leader, assholes” “rn all you are is the leading cause of that baby’s short temper”

Kori helped Kon with controlling his powers bc Clark wasn’t gonna do it

Wally and Bart get along!! From the beginning 

Besides Nightwing Tim is closest with Vic not even bc they’re fucking nerds but bc they’re both so unbelievably petty

Anita and Rachel should not be left alone together bc they’re always doing nonsense with magic

They mentioned air boarding so Tim and Vic are trying to find the schematics for a hoverboard…💀 Anita and Rachel figured out how to make people feel like they’re suffocating without killing them or doing permanent damage (all the scarring is psychological)

Cissie and Donna get along really well and Cassie pretends they’re jealous

Also, Cassie gets along really well with Roy and Cissie will loudly complain about her older brother hating her

the jl is so tired bc they thought the titans would be helping them with yj and they were wrong

[the--highlanders]

Hii, I'm trying to think Jamie-related thoughts. And I guess I'm thinking about how he's often characterised by his limitations as a young 18th century man, but he travelled with the Doctor for so long. How much do you think he ever got used to technology?And what are some other things that he would've got used to in his travels or other time zones that he never thought he would?

oh I absolutely think he gets very used to technology!! he's probably never quite as fluent with really futuristic stuff as, say, zoe is, but I almost think he might take to it more easily than ben and polly do - because they're working with a 60s expectation of phones, computers, etc, whereas jamie has no expectations whatsoever. and also seems to be happy enough to press buttons until something works.

the writers' occasional insistence that he stays fairly oblivious to technology or things from other time periods, and so the implication that he's not very bright, is. a bit of canon I'm willing to handwave away honestly. it does him such an injustice. & it doesn't even hold up with other bits of canon! sure, the dominators write him off as having a 'simple brain' (which honestly feels more like it's because he's human than anything about him as an individual - they also complain he has only one heart. zoe might also have been dismissed as having a simple brain if she'd been in his place!), but they also say he shows signs of rapid learning.

we also see that he's very adaptable and good at figuring out /that/ things work, even if he doesn't know /how/ - for instance, he gets out of the krotons' machine by putting together what two and zoe must have done, even though he doesn't know the science behind it. he takes to the radio he's given in the invasion immediately, works the communications part of the rocket in the seeds of death, works the target training machine in tomb of the cybermen without anyone showing him how.

in the end I think he just winds up with a very patchwork knowledge depending on what he's been exposed to and what he's interested in. he doesn't know what a train is in evil of the daleks, but he can probably explain the engine of a specific spaceship to you because it was critical to some adventure they had last week. he likes recorded music and documentaries and things that make life easier.

in terms of other things he adapts to... jamie's interesting because he's very flexible and open but also still puts a lot of stock in his own culture and values. I think he'd be very open to different sorts of people and alien cultures and how they live, even if it confused him. again I think a lot of it sort of washes over him, and he carries that knowledge with him but otherwise nods along and just carries on being himself. but I also don't think anyone could travel for as long as he does and end up changed by it somehow!

food from different places and times is probably a big one - he may or may not like it, but he'll always give it a try, and the things he likes he probably winds up trying to cook for himself as well. (the food machine is something I don't think he ever adapts to, just on principle. maybe the tardis' milk detector was put there for him because he wanted the real deal.) again, music - it's such a big part of his life and identity and I think he'd be really interested in other people's music. he jams quite happily to whatever is playing on his radio in the invasion, and picks up the closest thing he can find to bagpipes in the wheel of ice. he probably winds up with a whole collection of different musical instruments he's picked up.

being able to read and write is probably something that takes him by surprise, once he's used to it - he would never have considered it a skill he's /missing/, just one he wouldn't expect to have or need, and I think it takes him a while to come around to actually wanting to learn. but once he does it obviously ends up being useful for him, but also I think he reads a lot in his spare time, just because he's a curious person. he still likes to get information by listening, hence the documentaries thing (he'd probably also like audiobooks even more than actual books!), but he'll quite happily read as well.

reading is probably the thing that comes most as a surprise to him, honestly! everything else I think he just sort of. takes in stride. it might be unexpected just because he never imagined it existing, but he'll give anything a shot.

[fantastic-nonsense]

honestly I think if you complain about Star Wars focusing too much on the Skywalkers because "the galaxy is bigger than one family" and "not everything has to be connected" you have fundamentally missed the point George Lucas was trying to make with the original movies.

Star Wars is VERY deliberately an optimistic, cyclical, and myth-based family drama structured around a single family's story, and that purposefully generational story is the story George Lucas saw as the core point and purpose of Star Wars:

“It’s the missing link,” Lucas says. “Once it’s there, it’s a complete work, and I’m proud of that. I do see it, tonality-wise, as two trilogies. But they do, together, form one epic of fathers and sons.” [x] The first three movies had all kinds of issues. [Disney] looked at the stories and they said we want to make something for the fans. So I said all I want to do is tell the story of what happened. You know, it started here and it went there. It's all about generations and it's about, you know, the issues of fathers and sons and grandfathers; it's a family soap opera. I mean, ultimately. We call it a space opera, but people don't realize it's actually a soap opera. And it's all about family problems — it's not about spaceships. [x]

He also wrote Star Wars for the express purpose of attempting to teach people that everything is interconnected and everything we do has an impact that resonates beyond our own lives:

Paul Duncan: "It takes a lot of people to build the ark." George Lucas: "Yeah. And it needs to be done through reason, love, and compassion, not through force. The films are trying to stress the idea that everything is interconnected. I like to make movies that are complex, but it's not obvious to people unless they start digging into it. Most people don't realize it and can't grasp the whole entity because they're focusing on four or five pieces out of 200, and often they don't want to hear about the other pieces because it requires additional thought and ideas outsides of the films. There are cycles and cycles in the story and the characters throughout all six episodes. There are cycles of the same thing being repeated over and over with different groups of people, and the outcomes change because the characters have grown or changed over the story. The repitition shows the characters' development. [x]

GEORGE LUCAS: At some point you do have to become an independent person. And it’s about learning to let go of your — your needs, so to speak, and — and think of the needs of others. BILL MOYERS: So “Star Wars” is — yes, it’s about cosmic, galactic, epic struggles, but it’s at heart about a family. The large myth set in a local family. GEORGE LUCAS: Well, in most — most myths center around characters and — and a hero, and it’s — it’s about how you — how you conduct yourself as you go through the hero’s journey, which everyone goes through. It’s especially relevant when you go through this transition phase. Most societies it’s when you’re 13 or 14. In our society it’s sort of 18 to 22, somewhere in there, that you must let go of your past and must, you know, embrace your future and — and in your own self, by yourself, figure out what it is — what — what path you’re going to go down........... .......BILL MOYERS: And what do stories do for us in that sense? What do myths... GEORGE LUCAS: They try to show us our place. Myths help you to have your own hero’s journey, find your individuality, find your place in the world, but hopefully remind you that you’re part of a whole, and that you must also be part of the community, and — and think of the welfare of the community above the welfare of yourself. [x]

Lucas structured this tale in two ways: through Anakin's deconstructed hero's journey (in the form of a Greek tragedy) and Luke's straightforward hero's journey (culminating with Anakin's redemption) and showing us how this one family's multi-generational story had a huge impact that went beyond their own lives and echoed throughout the galaxy. That was the point!

While there are plenty of other stories not centered on the Skywalkers that can and should be told within the universe, ultimately people need to keep in mind that Lucas was not shy about his intentions in making the movies: he WANTED to write a straightforward retelling of "old stories," and he wanted to do it through the lens of a personal family narrative.

All of the Star Wars material that focuses on non-Skywalkers (which has ALWAYS been around, Rogue One and TLJ and The Mandalorian and Andor and etc etc etc were NOT the first ones to do that) is great, but it's a bonus! An add-on to the core story and point of the franchise! It's not that they're unimportant, because they're not, but at some point it should stop surprising people when the Skywalkers and/or the events of the original six movies get referenced or utilized.

It just bothers me when I hear these complaints because like...if you don't like the Skywalkers, why do you even watch Star Wars? None of those other stories would exist without them! Please just go enjoy another sci-fi franchise and stop complaining that the main characters of Star Wars are being focused on or are popping up in places it makes total sense for them to be!

[bonny-kookoo]

I haven’t seen enough people talking about Unstable! I loved the first chapter, and I’m sooo looking forward to the next and seeing where it goes! I would love any Drabble/chapter about what happens next! • ㅅ •

♡ -> Masterlist

"Human." His voice calls out from the speaker in your tiny cell, and you open your eyes, no other visible reaction given though. "Your vitals are all over the place. What's going on?" He demands to know, and you shrug, hugging the bunched up blanket tighter between your arms and legs.

"Got my period, what else." You huff to yourself.

"You need to speak louder." He s put almost annoyed, and you turn your head towards the small screen giving you a live feed of the control room of his spaceship, where he's sitting on his chair, arms crossed and one leg over the other. "So?"

"I said, I'm on my period!" You bark out, making him nod after a moment in realization.

"Interesting." He simply says to himself. "I'll bring you some water and food later." He shortly tells you, before the feed is brought offline again, leaving you in silence.

Apart from your obvious prisoner-situation and his rather sour attitude, it's not all that bad on his ship. It's warm, you've got a bed, water and food, a small bathroom- definitely better than on earth.

You're just.. a little lonely, that's all.

The hydraulics of the door hisses as he enters, placing a bottle of water and a pack of.. something edible on a small table close by. You're not turning around, more or less waiting for him to leave-

But he doesn't.

"How bad are you, from 1 to 10." He says, and you shrug.

"...like a 7½.." you mumble, closing your eyes again. "..thanks for the water. N' food." You slur, trying to fall asleep again, when you hear the only small chair scrape over the floor a little, as he sits down in the corner of your room. "Huh?" You wonder, now looking at him as he watches you with crossed arms.

"You have yet to complain over your treatment." He says defensively, and you shrug, letting yourself fall back down on the mattress on the floor.

"Nothing to complain about." You answer.

"Earth is attempting to implement more strict regulations on intergalactic traveling for humans. Meaning that you, right now-" he says, leaning back in his seat, "-are legally in a loophole, since the laws changed while you were absent." He informs you. You shrug again. "-I can bring you back by early next.. summer, it would be on earth."

"Hm. Just drop me off the next stop or something." You say.

"My next stop is Etis." He informs you with a serious face.

"So?" You ask, and he clicks his tongue.

"So?" He scoffs, imitating you. "Etis has banned human travel since earth refused to send them any weaponry during the last war with Veon." He tells you with an irritated face. "If I drop you off, you'll be dead the moment I leave."

"Cool." You just answer, turning around to face away from him.

He sighs.

"What am I gonna do with you.." he mumbles mostly to himself as he gets up to walk out, door hissing as it opens and closes, signaling you that he finally left. If he drops you off at Etis, sure, you'll be probably eaten as soon as they get their hands on you- but then again, it's your fault you fucked up this bad anyways.

A fitting end, maybe.

[starberry-cupcake]

We are done with book 1, folks!!!

previously, in gideon the ninth

this happened

also, I was proven right about dulcinea (kind of)

just pointing that out again

final update of this book, it's gonna be a bit of a long one, folks (gideon, from inside my mind, where she is now living rent-free: "that's what she said!"):

we left off in the fight against not!dulcinea

yandere simulator twin w/inner chad was being used as a battery pad

regina george twin is at an unknown location

la gideon and my qp wife are fighting

harrowcita passed out

so basically not!dulcinea unlocks the big magnus archives entity monster harrowbean had previously locked

harrow wakes up to make a bone dome

for scale, this is the dome and mickey is gideon, but she's inside the thing

magnus archives junji ito monster keeps beating the dome from outside to crack it open like an egg

harrowbean starts to disintegrate from the inside because it's hard to make a bone spaceship earth and keep it up

camilla is accepting fate at this point, my poor beloved qp wife

but la gideon is not gonna give up

she's never gonna give you up

never gonna let you down

never gonna...

so harrow starts making a goodbye speech

reminding gideon to take care of the ninth and the barbie in the freezer

for the barbie reference, please go to this recap

but gideon is determined to come up with a plan

*very niche reference but "bien warrior" by miss bolivia plays in the background*

we all know this is a terrible idea because gideon's plans are always "punch really hard" and, in this case, that's a wild thing to do

but she does that

a metal version of that

she decides to, if I understand correctly (because description is scarce for various acceptable reasons) impale herself on the iron spikes inside the dome, to force Harrow to slurp her soul

so this is the situation

absolutely heartbreaking stuff

she's sort of ghost-placing herself behind Harrow to guide her using the sword

like this

and being all silly and gideon-esque and harrow is heartbroken and sad and it's all very very heartbreaking and I'm suffering

I'm ANGRY, OK????

IT'S NOT FAIR

I didn't even like gideon at the start

I complained about her for like a good first chunk of this book

I got mad at her for being dense and not following through with things

I got angry at her way of approaching situations and trusting people I didn't trust

I didn't totally vibe with her vibe most times

and then she made me like her and grow attached and NOW I HAVE TO SUFFER???

what's the point????? you make me like you and then you SACRIFICE YOURSELF?????

WHY??????

footage of me

anyway, it's fine, we're fine, everything's FINE

harrow and force-ghost gideon defeat not!dulcinea by aiming at the "issue" palmolive started

( @lady-harrowhark "paramedics" is actually a much better nickname, why didn't I think of that)

not!dulcinea crosses the veil, hopefully forever, good riddance bitch, you really did fuck everything up for petty reasons

harrow passes out

afterwards, harrow wakes up in like a sort of hospital situation or something like that

the space version of that

there's a man reading stuff in a tablet and a paper

a "flimsy", which I didn't know was something before this book (again, not a native English speaker, doing my best here)

the man has very specific eyes which I imagined in a way that I'm not sure is what it's supposed to be, but I'm gonna keep my version for now

this is the man of the hour, the emperor, many other titles I can't remember, the reason we all got together in the first place

harrow is upset, I'm upset, we're all upset

emperor sama over here can't do shit about it

according to him

which, what are you, the wizard of oz?

he's also like "forgive not!dulcinea, it was my bad" I WILL FORGIVE NOTHING

he says he can't bring gideon back without risking harrowbean as well

very limited for a man who claims to be god

who seems to have beef with a barbie in an ice cube

idk about this guy

so he tells harrow that he's gonna protect the ninth if she becomes lyctor because the universe is going to shit and he can't handle everything on his own anymore

you know what could have helped, my man? COMMUNICATION

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT ANY GIVEN POINT

anyway, harrow is, at this point, tired and sad and grieving for everything so she says ok

according to this guy, the only other survivor is yandere simulator twin w/inner chad who is missing an arm

very convenient for him, who needs lyctors

an didn't, at any point, explain anything

but they "haven't been able" to find the bodies of: la gideon, my wife and regina george twin

everyone else was, at least, partially recovered, as far as I remember he said

they're probably gathering pieces of palmolive from every carpet and piece of wallpaper

I am reluctantly gonna miss that guy

so there is hope that I'm not a qp widow yet and that la gideon might come back in some capacity, which I MEAN, COME ON

also, I don't know if people would be making such a fuss about her arms if her body wasn't of consequence anymore

because I don't know much about these books but I did know that coming in, that and skull make up were my two clues

and we still don't know where she came from and if she's a demigod

and why her hair and eyes are that color

I don't know, I'm unsure about this

I hold hope

keeeeeeep hoooooolding ooooooon ♪

I am sure regina george twin will be back because people have been cryptic about her in replies to my updates

and I hope camilla comes back because right now I'm like a victorian wife, standing at a lighthouse, waiting for her sailor to come back from the depths of the sea, throwing messages in bottles

final extra notes:

THERE WAS A GLOSSARY ALL ALONG

I COULD HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT IT

maybe it was better this way, though, but WHY DIDN'T I LOOK PROPERLY

PALMOLIVE WOULD KILL ME FOR THIS OVERSIGHT

now I know what thanergy is, what thalergy is, what bone magic and flesh magic differ in, can you believe???

I can summon my own construct and everything

it's the only way to make friends as an adult, after all

there is a guide for the names and I have been pronouncing more things right than I thought because many of these are based in Latin and I'm a Spanish speaker so maybe if I had just pronounced them as they sounded to me I could have remembered more names

there is also a list of salseo/tea from judith

I kept making comments while reading them

she was acting like camilla was of no consequence from the start

ALSO PROTOZOA HAD KIDS?????? WHAT????

man, poor dude, rip this guy we never really knew

she did read chad for filth, which is correct

but they were off about absolutely everything else

important ending commentary of the book:

as an ending side note

I'm going to just point this out, with kindness and utmost respect

like, much love and respect and warm regards

don't kill me for this

as an editor

I am enraged with the tagline they have in the cover of this book, now that I've finished it

the quote that's in the cover about lesbian necromancers in a victorian mansion in space and whatnot

it sells the book incredibly short and also tells you things you shouldn't be told because a) they aren't as clear cut as they make them out to be and b) you should be told none of that entering this book

best experience is to know absolutely nothing

like gideon

and since I have an ebook, I see that quote more prominently than any blurb

it reads like the short summary of a fic and it doesn't do it justice one bit

now that I've finished the book, I think this post was about it and I didn't know at the time, because that's fair

this book is very difficult to categorize because it seems to be using a lot of different references and mixing them together in a very personal and unique way to the author

but, because of that, it's a very unique take on different things

I think it stands very aligned with both core classics and more contemporary foundations, at the same time

and the narrative point of view is a bit at-odds with the complexity of the lore, which makes it a very brave first part of a bigger thing for an author to throw out there

and it works, as it is

it actually works well like that

however, as difficult as it can be to explain it, that tagline really flattens it to something that I don't think favors how much more of that it is???

I don't know, that's just my personal & professional opinion, but anyway

I need to go find the next one

you haven't seen the last of me!!!!!

[yuri-game-tournament]

Any Yuri (any type of media) you feel is underrated and deserves more attention and love?

Ooh great question!! Honestly all yuri could use more attention and love; I thought that I was a major yuri fan before starting this tourney, but I'd never heard of a few of the popular submissions like Butterfly Soup before, not to mention a lot of the other submissions! I have a few games that I'd like to highlight though which are not quite yuri enough to be in the tourney (in my mind) but are still something that I think a lot of yuri fans will like.

Analogue: A Hate Story and Hate Plus

These two games were made by the writer of Ladykiller in a Bind which was submitted to the tourney. Christine Love writes a lot of games with queer themes and these two are no exception! While this game used to be more popular (I think?) it's 13 years old now, so I think it deserves more love!!

In this story, you are an investigator trying to discover what happened to the derelict spaceship Mugungwha. Talking to two different AI girls built into the ship, you discover the tragedy of what happened on the ship.

Not quiiiite yuri because you can play as either a man or a woman, but the story is very different depending on your gender because of the way the two AI girls respond to you. The girl pictured, Mute, has traditional beliefs based on the Korean Joseon Dynasty and is too homophobic to have a romantic ending with a girl player in the first game, but is starting to warm up to you in the second. Hyun-ae, the other AI girl, falls in love with you whether you're a boy or a girl, but has interesting dialogue regarding overcoming internalized homophobia if you are a girl. Additionally, there are sapphic stories discovered within the ship's log, explaining part of the history of what happened to the ship. Both games are amazing visual novels with interesting interfaces; I've heard people complain about the amount of reading you have to do, but that's part of what a VN is to me fdhjkfd so that was part of what I liked so much about it.

Crystar

A magical girl action RPG. Rei Hatada goes on a quest to save her sister Mirai from the depths of purgatory, making friends and plunging into despair along the way. This game is often maligned for having boring combat, but I found it really relaxing and fun to play; not overly difficult but with enough challenge to keep it enjoyable. The music, art, and story are where it really shines though, and it feels almost like a visual novel to me.

The whole game is focused on girl/girl relationships: mainly sisterly or platonic, but some with romantic subtext. Kokoro, one of Rei's friends, had a boyfriend in the past, but flirts with Rei throughout the game, talking about how she is just her type. Warning that Rei is a teenager, while Kokoro is in her early twenties, but their relationship is portrayed on equal footing and I greatly enjoyed it.

Each and every girl in the game gets time to shine, and mysteries about their pasts unfold as you go through the game. Crystar is similar to the Nier/Drakengard series' (and in fact was inspired by them) in that you need to play through the game a few times to see alternate endings. Each playthrough is different and more mysteries are explained as you go.

I also really love the message that Crystar has: that tears and emotion matter, and your tears are not a sign of weakness, but that you have gone through sorrow that makes you stronger. Plus, if you really like complicated sister relationships, Crystar has you covered. I'll never forget the Rei and Mirai relationship, as well as another sister relationship that I'll keep secret for spoilers. It's such a lovely game that I hope more people will play it!!

Crystar's spiritual sequel Crymachina is explicitly yuri, but I haven't finished it yet so I won't comment much on it, except to say that I really enjoy it so far, and it's focused on androids, virtual worlds, and transhumanism. It's super good so far and also has a hybrid RPG/VN feel, and also deserves more attention!

[thehibernatedmind]

Mickey 17: Humanity and the Quest for Survival

So I finally watched Mickey 17, and I enjoyed it. I like Parasite a bit more, but Mickey 17 has its moments. Plus Robert Pattinson did a fantastic job on this one.

From what I read online, most people see the film as a political satire and a commentary on human nature (and it's blatantly obvious this is what the film is about after you've seen the trailer). It is all of these things, but there's one theme that slowly became apparent to me and I don't see people talking about it a lot - the theme of survival.

(more under the cut and spoilers alert!)

There's this one line that stuck with me. The line takes place near the end of the film, when Mickey 18 goes on a suicide mission to kill Marshall. Before he presses the button that detonate the explosives on himself, he hesitates. Then Marshall says (and I'm paraphrasing from memory), "Afraid to die? That's what makes us human."

I kept thinking about that line after I left the cinema. Then it occurs to me that this wish for survival is prevalent in the characters and even in the setting. In order to survive, humanity chooses to immigrate to another planet. Mickey and Timo also apply for immigration because they want to survive - to escape a violent loan shark. Marshall sets up the entire immigration campaign for his political survival - to become a leader somewhere else, after he has failed to expand and maintain his power on Earth.

Marshall is not wrong in saying the fear of death is part of our humanity. Our mortality is in our human nature. However, this is also where he is wrong. Throughout the film, it is proven time and time again that this desire to survive takes away compassion. The quest for political survival makes Marshall and his wife so self-righteous and selfish that they simply treat others as tools. Timo, in order to save himself from the loan shark, almost cuts up Mickey, his closest friend. And of course, Mickey 18, who would do anything it takes, even killing people, to make sure he can still be alive. The desire for survival, on some level, actually takes away the characters' humanity. And mixed up in all of these is Mickey Barnes, an expendable that chooses not to survive.

Okay, what I just said may not be the most accurate. Of course Mickey wants to survive. That's the reason he becomes an expendable in the first place, and he has repeatedly stated he hates dying. Plus he tries to fight back against Mickey 18 when 18 tries to kill him. But compared to the other characters, Mickey is the most passive when it comes to surviving. His job is to die and get reprinted again and again, but he seldom complains about it. In fact, he thinks he deserves to die, as he has a deeply held belief that he has done a lot of wrongs in his life. It is almost funny (but actually kind of sad) that when the Creepers save him, he actually believes they think he tastes bad and that's why they let him go. This guy even thanks Marshall for dinner after he did another experiment on him that almost got him killed.

I guess what makes Mickey different from most of the characters is he is not trying to survive. He simply wants to live. He is not trying to beat anyone so that he doesn't have to die. Rather, he just wants a normal life and to fall in love with a girl he likes. It is also what makes the Creepers more 'human' than the humans on the spaceship. They simply want to live on their planet. They just became more murderous when the humans invade and trample on that wish by killing their kind.

I don't think the film is trying to say the wish of survival is 'bad'. Like I said, our wish to stay alive is also part of being human. But when survival makes us lose our compassion and our respect for other living beings, that's when we need to rethink our life choices.