#the other party struggling between admiration and bitterness. placing the other on some kind of pedestal but hating them for being there

[wreckedhoney]

hear me out

they're attuned

[johnsamericano]

𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •2•

Hi hi! I'm back with another chapter. This one might not be as good(?, it's a really fluffy chapter so bear with me.

warnings: sugar daddy jae, he's a big baby, tooth rotting, kinda long.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato

“Sir, there’s a girl asking to see you.”

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Let her in.”

Only a few seconds later, your head was peeking through his door.

“I brought you coffee.” You extended your hand out, showing him the carton containing two iced drinks. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all, come in.” You sat on the elegant, individual sofa in front of him, his desk serving as a separation. “Are you here to spy on me? Don't you trust me with your father's case?” He pouted, typing something in his keyboard while your palms started sweating.

How could you not trust the man with the highest case winning index in the whole country?

Briefly, after your encounter with the other lawyer, you'd googled him as well as his company. Because of his incredibly high fees, he didn't have many clients, but those few who had enough money to cost him were almost assured to be on the winning side. So then, why hadn't an excellent lawyer like him popped up when you'd first looked for popular firms? Simple, he wasn't popular.

Just like a hidden gem, only a few had the pleasure to know Yoonoh, and you felt beyond grateful for paying that stupid membership weeks ago.

“No, no!” You were quick to defend yourself, frantically shaking your hands to support your previous statement. “Just wanted to be of help.”

Truth to be told, after receiving your first weekly allowance, an unsettling feeling had been squeezing your heart ever since. Call it guilt or whatever, but it didn't set right to be receiving si much help from him when you hadn't had the chance to do anything in return. The least you could do was trying to be polite.

“You shouldn't be spending your money on me. I'm the one supposed to spoil you, remember?” He grabbed the plastic container by the lid, sipping the bitter liquid with an amused smile. “But thank you.”

“I paid my rent yesterday.” You blurted out, trying to avoid the uncomfortable silence threatening to settle between the two of you. “And I still have money left to save for my father's hospital bills, maybe even buy a present for my aunt.”

He admired how noble you were, making sure those around you had enough before even thinking to do something for yourself.

“I have a party this Friday, would you like to attend with me?” Your presence wasn't required as it wasn't a big event, but by the look in your eyes, he knew you were itching to do something in return for his kindness.

“Yes, of course!” Your orbs sparkled with excitement, finally feeling yourself useful.

“If you don't mind waiting, we can go buy something for you to wear right after I finish with this.” For what seemed like the tenth time in less than ten minutes, small beads of sweat rolled down the back of your neck. Thank God he wasn't able to see them. “Oh, come on, don't give me that look!”

“You’ve already done so much for me. I can buy the clothes myself, don't worry.” With a deep sigh, Yoonoh rose from his chair, taking long strides to surround the desk separating you. “W-what are you doing?” Now kneeling on the floor beneath you, his face was dangerously close to yours, coffee breath crashing against your nose.

“Using mind control to convince you to let me take you out.” He stared at you for a couple more seconds before saying: “Is it working?”

“I think your mind control is broken.” You whisper, unable to hold back the small giggles bubbling at the back of your throat.

“How about now?” He batted his eyelashes, trying to act cute despite his bold features. You shook your head.

Just as you thought it was over, his hand went up to cup your jaw, his thumb drawing uneven figures on the ticklish skin.

“How about now?” He repeated. You stammered, unsure of what to say. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.” Aware of your awkwardness and the rising heat in your cheeks, he stood up, walking back to his chair. “But I do want to get you something, would you let me?”

With your mind busy and your guard low, you nodded, unaware of the silly smile on his face.

“I have a few novels on my shelf in case you want something to kill time.”

“Thank you.” You moved to the huge bookshelf facing his desk, grateful your face wasn't visible anymore.

The books were ordered by genre and size, starting from the biggest law-related textbooks to pocket-sized novels, ending with the smallest one he had. The little prince.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Yoonoh didn't seem to be the type to read that kind of heartbreaking yet beautiful book. Nonetheless, as many said, you can't judge a book by its cover.

An hour or two later, you were halfway into the first book of flowers in the attic, immersed in the small world the author had created. Yoonoh had finished his work a few minutes before, but distracting you when you were reading so vividly, seemed like a crime. He enjoyed the way your eyebrows would knit together every time something shocking happened, clearly too immersed in the novel to notice his intense gaze.

“Y/n...” He whispered once he noticed you were starting a new chapter. You blinked twice, hands clutching the book tightly as you noticed he had finished his work. “You can take it home, don't worry.”

“Sure?” He flashed his pretty dimples as his eyes turned into half-moons.

“You can come back for the rest of the saga when you finish this one. Take as many books as you please, I’ve already read them all.”

“Thank you.” Another act of kindness you had no way of returning. His favors just seemed to be piling up before you could even return any. “Would you like to have dinner with me today? I'm a great cook, or so did my father said.” You blurted out quickly, twisting your hands nervously as you waited for an answer.

“I’d love to. But I might have to attend some work calls if you don't mind.”

“I don't, maybe I'll even have time to bake a cake while you're at it.” God, how bad he wanted to take a picture of that adorably nervous smile.

“Great, so it's settled. Dinner at your place after we go shopping.” He had already put his blazer on, offering his arm to guide you out. With shaky fingers and sweaty armpits, you grabbed it, walking by his side with his secretary’s gazed glued on you. So much for a girl, huh?

Once seated in his car, with the book resting on your lap, you allowed yourself to relax. Yoonoh wasn't a bad person, on the contrary, he was very kind, so there was no use in keeping your guard up when he was around.

“Ready to roll?” You cringed at his use of slang, making him drop his head back to laugh. “What? Isn't it a thing you cool young adults say?”

“Maybe twenty years ago, Yoonoh.” It was the very first time you used his name so informally, and, oh how good it felt to hear you saying it?

“Fine, I won't use it anymore.” He poked your arm like a little child, and for a moment, you wondered if he was actually more than a decade older.

Several bad jokes, two dresses, and a quick stop at the grocery store later, you arrived at your apartment. Yoonoh held everything while you entered the passcode, struggling not to drop a can of vegetables that was starting to bend the edge of the paper bag.

“Ready, hand me something.” You both entered with your hands packed with different things. You went to your room to leave the new dresses while Yoonoh set the paper bags down on the kitchen counter.

“So...” He clapped loudly. “What are we cooking?”

“I bought the ingredients for lasagna. Is that okay with you?” He nodded, lips pressed and dimples in display. “Alright, let's do this.”

It would've been of great help if Yoonoh had told you he didn't know how to cook. But of course, part of the fault was yours for not noticing when he tried to add ketchup to the recipe.

“I burnt it.” He looked at the semi-carbonized pasta with disgust, feeling ashamed of having ruined your dish. “Let’s just throw it away and order something.” He was about to touch the hot container until your grip on his wrist halted his movements.

“We just pulled it out of the oven.” You shook your head in disbelief at the man standing in front of you.

“Sorry.”

Despite Yoonoh’s endless complaining, you ate the lasagna. The flavor wasn't that bad when you scratched off the burnt parts, especially when accompanied by a cold glass of wine.

“It’s not that bad.” You repeated over and over again. A phone call interrupted him from self-pitying any further. “Go on, take it.” You continued eating while he spoke in the living room.

It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that you realized he was whisper yelling at whoever was on the other line. It was your first time seeing him angry, and you didn't like it one bit. The way his face turned completely stoic, his eyes cold as his hand rested on his hip. Sweet, caring, Yoonoh was gone.

“I told you I needed it for today.” He said through gritted teeth. “You better get it before I arrive back at the office, or you can find yourself another job.” Even after he hung up, Yoonoh stood in the middle of the shared area, clutching his phone so tightly, it seemed like it would break any minute.

You wanted to ask if everything was alright, if he needed any help, but most importantly, if the things he needed were related to your father's case, but all the words stuck to your throat like insects in a spider web.

“I need to go.” He simply said, not even bothering to fake a smile. “Thank you for dinner, I'll see you on Friday.” With his free hand, he grabbed the coat hanging from his chair and left, slamming the door on his way out.

Was that the real Yoonoh?

A shiver ran down your spine. What had you gotten into? From what you'd seen, it was only about time he would show his true self to you as well.

All the trust you'd built up during the day, had crumbled down in a matter of seconds. The worst part? You didn't even feel entitled to be scared, not after all he'd done for you.

‘Just keep your distance.’ You repeated like a mantra as you got ready for bed, leaving the book you'd borrowed right where he'd left it, afraid it would burn your fingertips even with the slightest touch.

(...)

The week wasn't nearly as long as you'd wanted it to be, and soon enough, you were struggling to zip the dress you'd bought days ago. Your makeup was done, and Yoonoh had texted you he was on his way, yet, you'd been fighting with the zipper for at least ten minutes. Your fingers were cramping, and the clock was ticking.

Just when you'd finally started to drag the small piece of metal, the doorbell startled you, causing you to let go of it.

“Fuck!” Have you ever felt so desperate that tears start pricking your eyes? Well, that was the exact case happening at the moment.

You opened the door with the salty water collecting at the corner of your eyes, surprising Yoonoh, who was wearing his best dimply smile.

“What’s wrong?” He had a bouquet poorly hidden behind his back, probably to apologize for the night he abruptly left and almost knocked down your door.

“I-I can't zip up my dress.” Your voice came out shaky, giving away the emotions burning your gut. Thankfully, Yoonoh didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't mention it.

“I’ll help you.” He, not-so-discretely, put down the bouquet, gently turning you around to your discomfort. His cold hands touched your back as he dragged the zip up, noticing how tense you were but deciding not to comment on it. “Oh! You haven't moved the book from where I left it.”

“I haven't had time to read.” He hummed, crouching to reach for the bouquet and hand it to you. “Thank you.”

“It’s my way of apologizing for the fit I threw a couple of days ago.” A fit? That was one way to call it.

“It’s okay.” You lied as you pushed the corners of your lips to form a credible smile. “Let’s get going.”

The flowers were left on the kitchen counter before you left. The ride in the elevator was awfully quiet, and Yoonoh had no idea what had happened. You were so chatty the last time he saw you, so of course, he was taken aback by the sudden change.

“It’s not going to take long, so we can head out for some drinks later if you'd like...” You nodded, for you knew speaking would only expose your discomfort. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah! Just nervous about the party, that's all.”

You stood by Yoonoh’s side for the rest of the evening, smiling and nodding at his acquaintances’ comments. At one point in the evening, a man, not much older than you, approached you both with a wide smile.

“Dude, I hadn't seen you in ages. Stop sending your workers and come see me yourself.” They hugged. Why were they hugging?

“Y/n, this is my brother, Sungchan.” The man with puppy-like eyes embraced you tightly, almost as if welcoming you to his family. “Sungchan, this is y/n, my girlfriend.” He said it so naturally, it’d take a detective to figure out the truth about your relationship.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. I'm sorry for your father. But don't worry, we'll take those bastards down.”

“I’m not following...” You blinked repeatedly, eyes going back and forth between Yoonoh and his brother.

“Sungchan is a doctor. I asked him to look at your father's case for further evidence. My assistant was supposed to pick up the report the day we had dinner, but she forgot to drop by. Now we’re a day behind schedule.” The dark cloud surrounding him seemed to be slowly dissipating as you heard his explanation. “This is an important case, and I want to be as meticulous as possible.”

Thank you didn't seem the right thing to say at the moment, at least not with Sungchan standing there, so you simply grabbed his hand, squeezing it to let him know how grateful you were.

To your surprise, he didn't even flinch as he locked your hands together, causing a small giggle from Sungchan.

“Okay, love birds, I'll get going.” He waved you goodbye, making his way to another table where his friend waited for him.

“Can we talk?” You whispered in his ear, afraid one of the numerous attendants would hear you.

“Sure.” Without letting go of your hand, he drove you to a small, private garden just outside the ballroom. “Are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?” His thumb caressed your knuckles with gentle strokes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for?”

“I pushed you away at the minimum trouble when you were only helping me.” He hummed as if he already knew about it. “And it will probably happen again, so please, be patient with me. I'm going through-” Your face collided against his chest as his arms draped over your shoulders, squeezing you tightly.

“Call me reckless, but I've wanted to do this for a while.” Your hands hung at the sides of your torso, unsure what to do next. “You can push me away, I'll understand...”

Instead, your palm found its place in his back, rubbing up and down the designer jacket. Your hair started turning messy from the night breeze, some strands striking Yoonoh’s chin as his embrace only grew tighter.

“Let’s get out of here.” He mumbled, crawling the back of your head with his hand. “Sungchan can deal with my father's friends.”

“Are you sure?” His hum vibrated through his chest, making you giggle at the odd feeling.

Once seated in his car, his hand found yours like a magnet, the warmth emanating from it comfortably enveloping your skin.

The calmness of the atmosphere was interrupted by a call from his brother, who seemed to be anxiously explaining something through the phone.

“Just tell him I had a work emergency.” With that said, he hung up, placing his hand back again on top of yours. “Sorry, he said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay.” An unsettling feeling pinched your stomach, but you decided to dismiss it, immersed in the chilly weather of the dark streets.

You arrived at the river, where Yoonoh asked you to wait for him while he bought a couple of beers. It was a sight to see, both of you clad in fancy clothes, barefoot and chugging down can after can.

“I think I like being with you.” You declared, mind fuzzy from the alcohol intake.

“I think I like it too.” The tips of his ears were rosy, revealing he was as intoxicated as you, maybe even more.

“Would you like to visit my father with me tomorrow?” The words flew out of your mouth before you could even realize. Afraid you'd killed the mood, you tried to excuse yourself, only to be interrupted by his lips grazing your ear, placing a timid kiss on your lobe.

“I’d love to.” It was the sweetest peck, no ulterior motives behind it, just pure affection.

“Are we going too fast?” In your drunken state, what you had felt like a real relationship, not a simple agreement. And this sure felt like a first date.

“We’re moving at our own pace, I believe.” He dropped his head on your shoulder, pressing against it to relieve the dizziness clouding his mind. “Are you okay with that? Maybe you don't want to be with an old creep like me, and I'd totally get it. Just don't let me get my hopes up if that's the case.”

“You might be old, but definitely not a creep.” Your fingers combed through his abundant hair as your mind wandered into the future, grateful for the fact that he wouldn't become bald soon. “Or are you?”

“I don't think so.” Anyone who walked by would've seen a couple of goofs, too intoxicated to talk without slurring the words, but you were living in your own, comfy bubble. “I should get you home before it gets too late. Come on, I'll call a driver.” He tried getting on his feet to no avail, stumbling back a little before falling back on his ass.

“My apartment is nearby. You can stay for the night.” You grabbed both pairs of shoes as his arm surrounded your shoulder for assistance. “If you keep supporting your whole weight on me, we're both gonna fall.” People on the street shot you a couple of funny looks, which was understandable since it wasn't usual to see two drunk idiots walking barefoot in the middle of the night.

“How long till-” Hiccup. “-we get there?” His stare seemed to worsen with every step. “God, I think I might throw up.”

“Stop acting like a teenager, we're almost there.”

As soon as you arrived at the small apartment, you sat him down on the little step where you changed your shoes. You left both pairs on the rack, proceeding to put on slippers to enter the house.

“Don’t leave me here!” He whined, stomping his feet like a little kid.

“Just wait for a second!” His attitude was starting to get on your nerves to the point where you couldn't feel the effects of the beer anymore.

You grabbed a rag from the kitchen cabinet and dampened it under the sink. Yoonoh was half asleep when you walked back to him.

“My head hurts.” He mumbled as you sat in front of him, placing his left foot on your lap. “What are you doing?”

“I don't have any slippers that will fit you, and I don't want your dirty feet making my house dirty.” With utmost delicacy, you wiped away the dirt from his toes, noticing the small scratches caused by the gravel he walked on.

He touched your hair while you finished with his other foot, tangling the strands with fascination.

“Done, get up.”

He followed your indications as you guided him to your room, where you laid him down on his side in case he threw up.

“Are we visiting your father tomorrow?” He asked while snuggling under the covers.

“Sure.” You cleared his forehead from the strands falling in it, grazing the soft skin of his forehead. “Sweet dreams, gigantic baby.”

[underkita-archive]

polyester

kita shinsuke | w.c 2k

a/n: sigh pain,, this is inspired by the song heather by conan gray! i was walking my dog when the song came on and i was like huh, what if i just write a leetle something? which became u know,, 2k words,,,, anyway uh note that this not really an x reader fic,,,

now with the companion piece cotton

set post-timeskip

warnings: just sad, poor use of past tense honestly i struggled so hard, unrequited feelings/love, some tears being shed, feelings of regret

On the second day of your first year of high school you meet Kita Shinsuke. 

Quiet, collected, Kita Shinsuke. 

It had been completely by luck of the draw. You could remember your nerves, still afraid of navigating the ins and outs of high school when there was a gentle tap on your shoulder in the first year hallway. 

“You dropped this.” He’d placed the notebook in your hands before you could stutter out a thank you, left to watch as he approached the Miya twins with a stern look.

To call it love at first sight may have been an exaggeration, but at the time you couldn’t help but color it as such.

His cool demeanor and dedication to a sport that hardly rewarded him was far more admirable than you would’ve liked to admit. So you had found yourself at few more volleyball matches than someone who never cared for the sport.

And when Miya Atsumu came careening into the classroom one frigid morning spouting nonsense and demanding one of the girls in your class volunteer to be the volleyball club’s team manager you couldn’t have stopped yourself from raising your hand if you tried. 

He wasn’t even captain yet, but the two of you worked closely. Staying behind to clean up after the raucous first years, careless second years and overworked third years.

The only ones dedicated enough.

Somewhere in between those late nights cleaning and those early mornings prepping, between the quiet whispers and watching him become more and more dependable.

You had fallen in love.

It hadn’t surprised you, you knew you were doomed from the start. Since that one lucky day in the first year hallway, you knew it had been a matter of when not if.

There had been more than enough opportunities to confess your feelings, to free yourself of the endless nights of pining, of being tormented by all the what ifs and almosts.

Yet you watched in perfect silence as your first year melted away. Watched as Kita earned the right to being called captain, and let yourself be consumed by the role of the doting team manager. 

Once again you had found yourself letting the months roll by, allowing your feelings to rot away at your insides, suffering in the way he seemed to form a kind smile solely for you, living for the quiet praise and approving nods he’d occasionally offer.

“Why don’t you just confess?” Your friend had said, tired of the sad way you would carry yourself after a particularly taxing day of spending too much time in Kita’s proximity. 

“Nationals, I’ll tell him when we win nationals.” You promised, trying to convince yourself that it would be the right time, a poor attempt at trying to conjure up a speck of bravery. 

By the time Nationals had arrived you had prepared your heart to the best of your ability, ready to see your team take their rightful spot as the champions.

And when they didn’t, whatever courage you had cobbled together shattered. So you sulked. Standing on the balcony of the hotel, staring up at the light polluted Tokyo sky, shaking from the biting cold.

“You’ll get sick like that.” You hadn’t thought your blood could run any colder until his voice interrupted whatever pitiful thoughts had been running through your mind.

“I-It’s...fine.” You hoped he chalked down the stammer in your words from the weather over nerves.

“Mmm. Don’t stay out here too long.” You nodded your head, keeping your eyes focused on a flickering star struggling to make its presence known when there was a weight on your shoulders. You couldn’t help but snap your eyes down, the familiar shade of maroon now hanging over your body. 

And what should’ve finally been said that night was left in the air, left struggling like that little star in the sky. 

With a heavy heart you watched him graduate, watched as time kept moving without bothering to let you catch up.

◇ ◆ ◇

Years later you can say with confidence that your school girl crush has aptly faded, telling yourself that there was never a need to confess.

Until your phone beeps late one Thursday night.

Engagement dinner. 

Your eyes scan over the text, once, twice, again and again until you lose count, until your chest feels tight and your face burns and what were once feelings you thought had faded start rearing their ugly head.

You won’t allow whatever leftover hormonal thoughts poke and prod at what you’ve built up. You’re older, wiser and most importantly you’ve moved on. 

So you clean up nicely, put on something nice but not too nice, just a touch of perfume and only check twice in the mirror before you walk out the door to call a Lyft. 

The restaurant is unfamiliar, nestled in a cute little neighborhood. It’s fitting for Kita, it’s homey and cozy but nice enough for the occasion. 

You try not to choke as he approaches you, a grin too large splaying across his usually serious face, oddly enough it fits, furthermore it hurts.

It takes you a second too long to notice the woman beside him, the sight of his arm tucked behind her back as she curls into his side, she offers you a shy yet refined smile. You barely catch her name, the overwhelming sensation of the past creeping up on you, tearing down whatever walls you had carefully built over the years.

They show you to the table, Aran, Akagi and Gin already there with their charming and familiar smiles, yet the lovely reunion is unable to distract you from the way he pulls out her chair, making sure she’s properly settled before he takes his place beside her once more.

You think of the maroon jacket that had weighed so comfortably on your shoulders that freezing Tokyo night, you think of the words that laid on the tip of your tongue, so close yet so far as Kita patted your head and returned back inside.

The lost opportunity.

Only to have the once sweet memory dashed away at the lightness of your left ring finger, as you’re forced to witness the woman beside Kita rest a perfectly manicured hand atop his, the ruby gemstone set on a golden band gleaming so beautifully in the low restaurant lighting.

“Captain! Sorry we’re late! Congratulations.” Miya Atsumu with his usual loudmouth tears through your concealed pity party, a small smile finding its way to your lips at the way Osamu trudges behind him with that special irritated look reserved solely for his brother.

“It’s just Kita, I haven’t been your captain in years.” He rises from his seat, taking his bride-to-be’s hand and introducing her to the ever famous Miya twins. 

“Sure sure, manager-chan! Looking good!” He’s by your side in seconds, thick arms already pulling you into a bone crushing hug.

“You’re gonna break her ‘Tsumu.” 

“Shut it ‘Samu, I would never.” His hold only tightens at the statement, the rippling of his muscles against your body causing an undeniable rush of heat to bloom across your body. 

“Enough of that.” You laugh, wiggling out of his grip with an exasperated laugh.

A few more former players of Inarizaki pour into the restaurant, old memories tossed around with endearing fondness and one too many congratulatory toasts leaves your heart aching worse than before, regret eating away at you, the inevitable question of what if cycling though your thoughts. 

“Doing okay?” Atsumu’s closeness is nothing new, somewhere over the years your boundaries had skewed, his face being a little too close was to be expected at this point.

“Sure.” It’s a noncommittal reply that Atsumu would normally call you out on, but he accepts it only after letting his gaze linger on you for a moment.

The minutes tick by as Kita retells the picturesque proposal he had carefully planned, unfiltered adoration and fondness adorning his eyes.

Lovestruck. 

An expression you had wished this man to have focused on you just a few years ago. 

What if?

The question taunts you, what if you hadn’t been a coward? What if you had said it that night? Or any other moment spent by his side? Would it be you? 

Another sip of the bitter wine offers no reprieve from the taunting thoughts, whatever mask you had been donning the entirety of the night starts to wear down, you can feel it slipping out of place. 

“Boy am I sweatin’!” Atsumu barks out, knocking his shoulder against yours, true enough his cheeks are tinted a soft blush, eyes glossy from one too many beers.

The exclamation causes a few snorts and chuckles around the table, a scathing comment from Osamu and a faux jeer from Suna.

“Maybe you need a walk.” You mumble, picking at the food you had long abandoned earlier in the meal. 

“Ya know what? You might be onto somethin’, let’s go.” His fingers are around your wrist before you can register what he’s saying.

“Atsumu what?”

“C’mon, say bye!” 

“Atsumu!”

“You be safe, thank you for coming.” Your head spins as Kita offers that same smile, still a little too wide as he offers a nod and turns back to his fiancee. Atsumu tugs at you again, only for you to shake him off, turning properly to the happy couple. 

“Congratulations Kita-san. I wish you both,” You swallow the bitter lump in your throat, “I wish you both unending happiness.”

You’re turning on your heel before you can receive a reply, biting back whatever pent up emotions threaten to spill over as you rush out of the restaurant, practically running down the sidewalk fueled by the desperate need to get as far as you possibly can. 

“Hey hey slow down!” You don’t bother slowing, let alone stopping, knowing fully well the professional athlete chasing after you will catch up in a matter of seconds. “I said slow down.”

The second his hand touches your shoulder whatever walls left standing come crumbling down.

“It hurts.” It’s nothing more than a whisper before he’s turning you around to face him, a hand still planted on your shoulder as the tears that have been welled up for nearly five years begin to fall. The tears you hadn’t allowed yourself to shed.

“I know.” His voice is pained as he draws you closer, letting you close the distance as you lean against him. The trail of tears burns against your cheeks, they’re filled with shame, with unspoken words, with unrequited love. 

It’s almost poetic, the way you two stand there in a broken silence under the flickering light of one of the odd stores dotting the street. It feels like hours pass by, the initial ache in your chest starting to lessen as you meet his gaze.

“Could you... consider me?” There’s something profoundly sad in his eyes, an exhaustion from years spent quietly resigned from confessing a truth that you were all too familiar with dotting his expression. 

“I,” can’t, “don’t know.” 

“I know that I’m not him, I don’t think I can be anything close, but just, do you think you could?” There isn’t the slightest trace of his boyish charm nor the cool demeanor he normally holds in serious situations. He feels smaller, more exposed and for the first time in all your years of knowing him.

You can see weakness.

“I can’t make any promises.” It feels almost too soon, a little rushed for you to be able to make sense of anything that’s transpired, you don’t want to hurt him, you don’t want to lead him on. 

“I can wait,” a wistful quirk of his lips rekindles the ache from before as an expression you’ve surely worn in the past washes over his face, “I’ve gotten pretty good at it.”

And in a matter of two, maybe three seconds, the world seems to tilt, just a few degrees, just enough for the angle to change, for that memory of the muddled Tokyo sky to shift a few inches to the right from the struggling star to the one shining in softly in the distance.

Your hand moves before you can even think, fingers curling around Atsumu’s chilled ones, intertwining them carefully as you offer him something akin to understanding, something a little deeper, not quite sure what you’re truly conveying.

“Just for a little bit longer.”

[jackrrabbit]

Oh? Request open? Since you write for Inuyasha, how about some 18+ content for Koga please?

Mating Season /// Koga x f!Reader (18+)

I’ve always had a soft spot for Koga, and he has so much nasty potential as a wolf demon. Repressed village girl vs. horny wolf-boy is peak lewd.

Warnings: dubcon, wolf characteristics, yandere, light a/b/o, very light breeding kink (there’s like 1 mention of it)

As a villager at the foot of the mountains where Koga’s pack lives, you’ve heard stories since you were a child about the vicious wolf demons who live in caves and eat little girls who stray away from their homes. Now that you’re an adult and you only half believe in fairy tales, you still should’ve known better than to take a nap in the woods with sunset coming so soon. But who could blame you? They were just stories. Rumors. Old wives’ tales passed down from mother to daughter for generations, a warning not to stray from what was known. And you’d been exhausted. During the daylight hours you know these woods like the back of your hand—surely you can’t be blamed for putting down your basket and resting your eyes, just for a moment?

Not that he needs more than a moment. Your fate is sealed the second you step into the woods, into his territory, where he’s isolated himself to spend his rut away from the other members of his pack. It’s hard enough to hold back his…more aggressive instincts when he’s alone; but when he finds you sleeping propped up against a tree, looking sweet and innocent and smelling like a bitch in heat, you really just don’t stand a chance.

Koga’s torso pushes down into your back like he’s trying to pin you with the weight of his body. When you manage to suck in a breath (struggling to let your ribs expand against his iron-solid grip on you), you can smell his sweat and yours mixing with the slightly-damp earth under your feet and the sharp, bitter medicinal herbs you were gathering. With your skirts pushed up to your waist the springtime evening mist is frigid against your bare skin, but the heat radiating off his body is making you feel feverish anyway. Your knees are digging into the dirt and for some reason the thought crosses your mind that your nice white stockings are definitely going to stain, and your mother is going to be so angry, and you almost want to laugh at how absurd the thought is. As if a few stains could possibly matter while a demon is fucking you.

Instead of laughing, you whimper as Koga hits a particularly deep spot inside of you. How many times has he finished inside now? Three? Four? His arm is wrapped around your torso, keeping your body locked into his while he drives into you over and over and over. His thick cock nudges up against your cervix every time he pushes his hips toward your ass. It hurt at first. You aren’t sure when it stopped hurting. Maybe it still hurts.

But oh…it feels so good, too. You didn’t even know it was possible to feel like this. It’s like you’ve been hungry—starving—your whole life, and now you’re finally getting something to eat. Every inch of your cunt aches, but at some point you start trying to buck your hips back toward his. It isn’t so much reciprocation as it is just trying to ground yourself, or maybe letting yourself go in the moment… You can barely keep yourself upright, and you drop onto your elbows, your forehead inches away from the mud.

The demon growls—growls, actually growls like a wild animal, as if you needed more convincing—and he presses his bare chest down toward you, the sweat soaking off of his skin and through the fabric of your bodice. His thrusts are slower now, not the rapid jerks that he started out with. Maybe he can tell you like this better? Feeling every inch of his cock opening you up and rubbing against the sensitive walls of your cunt is making you afraid you’re going to lose your mind in the delirious fog of what you would call lust if you knew the word for it.

You certainly sound like you want it, your pleas transforming into sweet moans as your body adapts to the mating. You probably don’t even realize how wanton your voice is. Whatever else you’ve said, all Koga can hear in his rut-induced haze are your cries of pleasure and the squelching of his dick sliding in and out of you.

It’s easier when you don’t have to look at him. You can pretend that this is a dream, the kind of impure fantasy the village girls giggle to each other about, comparing their conquests, making up stories about which of the young men is the most handsome, who probably has the most experience, who might have the biggest—

“Ah!” you cry out, squeezing your eyes shut so you don’t have to look at the creamy smears of the demon’s cum painting your thighs white and collecting on the dirt between your legs. Surely no mortal man would be capable of finishing so many times without even pulling out.

Koga releases your hips and you rock forward, startled, until he grabs you by your upper arm and pulls you upright so you’re sitting in his lap with his cock still impaled inside of you. He rolls his hips experimentally and you hiss in surprise as his thick head drags against a sensitive spot in your pussy.

Before you can get accustomed to the new angle, he’s pulling your head around so you’re forced to look into his face. You imagine that this is how a prey animal feels when it’s stared down by a predator—a rabbit looking at a wolf, haha, your mind supplies involuntarily—there’s something that makes it impossible to look away. The part of your brain that’s still clinging to rationality and trying to compartmentalize notes for a second that oddly enough, he looks just as desperate as you feel.

“Wh-whyyy?” you whine, half-aware that this is the first real word spoken between you. You don’t know why you think he’s going to respond—even though he looks more human than the other demons you’ve encountered, his actions have been just as feral and animalistic as the rest of them, if only less violent and more…depraved.

There’s a bead of sweat rolling down your neck, and Koga can’t take his eyes off of it. He tangles his fingers in your hair and pulls your head back to expose the smooth column of your throat, careful not to yank it hard enough to hurt you. Humans are so fragile. When he tilts forward to lick the salty droplet off your skin, he feels your shiver all the way down. “You—I smelled you…”

In your half-aware state, it takes you a moment to hear him. “…What?”

The demon nuzzles his face into your hair, and his leisurely sigh stirs the fine hairs on the back of your neck. “Smells so good…waiting for me. Begging for me…”

“I—I don’t understand? Begging? Ah—ahhh…” Not for the first time, you try to push away from the demon uselessly. The rhythm of his slow, rocking thrusts doesn’t falter—you wouldn’t be surprised if he can’t even feel it.

It’s not easy for Koga to listen to your words when your moaning is so much more interesting, but he tries. For your sake. His soft little mate, so warm and weak while you grind your ass into his lap. What about this don’t you understand? He smelled you, he wanted you, he fucked you. And you wanted it too, of course you did…why else would you be wandering around by yourself in the peak of your heat, so ripe and ready for breeding that the smell of your lust is rising off your skin in waves? Why else would you have crossed into the territory of an alpha in his rut…?

But humans don’t think like that, do they?

The thought pierces Koga’s mind with a sudden, harsh clarity that would have been impossible had he not already finished inside your needy cunt four times now. Humans are different. Their senses of smell are so weak, just like the rest of them.

Koga remembers, unwillingly, a time when he crossed paths with Kagome’s party while she’d been on the edge of her heat. He smelled it, and Inuyasha noticed. The mutt pulled Koga aside to warn him not to mention it to her.

“But she’s about to go into heat. She shouldn’t be out of her house, let alone traveling with you, hanyo. Or can you even smell it?”

“Shut up, of course I can! But she can’t. Believe me, I brought it up to her once and she got pissed and said I was a pervert. Humans don’t know about stuff like that.”

They…don’t know. So that meant you didn’t know. You came into his territory by accident. You don’t know you’re in heat. You don’t know he’s in his rut, and you don’t know he’s an alpha. You probably don’t even know you’re in his territory.

The demon’s movements slow and then go still, and you’re left sitting in his lap with his cock still pulsing, a stiff rod of heat in your belly. You wait a moment, wondering if he’s going to pull out, but he doesn’t. His arm is still wrapped around you and his sharp fingernails are digging into the fabric of your bodice, no doubt leaving crescent-shaped marks in your skin. Involuntarily you feel yourself rock your hips against his pelvis, a feeble attempt to get him to pull out or even just move—the sex might’ve been uncomfortable, but feeling all full and stretched and so close to satisfaction with no way to get it by yourself is unbearable.

When there’s no response, you turn around toward him to get your first good look at the man (the demon) who’s made you want things you don’t even know how to say out loud. He’s good-looking—tall, tan, with boyish good looks (that would have earned him quite a few admirers if he were a villager like you) and flat blue eyes that seem oddly unfocused. His hair is tied up in a ponytail and you have the urge to pull on it, just like he pulled on your hair a moment ago. You don’t know his name. “Demon…please. I need you,” you whisper, letting some of the urgency you’re feeling spill into your voice.

Both of his hands clamp down on your hips, securing you in place while he slams his hips up back into yours. “Mate,” he snarls, his voice drowning out your yelp of pleasure, and before your mind goes blank with lust again, a chill runs down your spine because you’re not sure if he’s correcting you…or addressing you.

[thelastpilot]

Tell Me So I Understand- Adrino Fic Request

This is one of my finished commissions for the amazing charity even @mlbforblm with a 4k fic commissioned under the request for ‘Adrien/Nino hurt comfort’. If you would like to comission something from me as well before this event concludes please go here to check out my slots! Please donate to this great cause and get a fic from yours truly.~~

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The cool metal of the railing grounded him to the space, reminding him of where he was as he struggled to remain present. Nino took a deep breath, the frigid air making him shiver slightly. The balcony on which he hid was abandoned for the most part, one couple huddled together many yards away as they finished discussing something private. Neither of these people took any notice of him, the woman’s presumably lovely but insufficient dress for the cold forcing the pair to hurry back inside. They had likely been hoping for privacy, but it seemed only Nino’s turmoil was sufficient enough cause to stay in the bitter cold, ruminating.

He attempted to straighten his spine, standing tall as his hands pulled weakly at his tie, trying to let him breathe. He shuddered again as a cold breeze bit through his suit jacket, reminding him of its expensive weight paired with expensive shoes paired with expensive bullshit on this lifeless marble balcony-

He closed his eyes, forcing that spiraling thought down and trying to relax, but he couldn’t stop himself from pulling at the tie.

It had been unbalanced for almost the entire event, Nino noticing too late that it was askew and silently panicking over how long it had been that way. It was a small infraction but… depending on who you asked,

So was he.

His urgent hands stilled as they gave up on the mess they had made, falling forward to grip the ice cold railing again.

 This was his first big event.

He had expected it to be taxing, he’d been bracing himself for it all month but he knew how much it meant to Adrien to do this together. Adrien himself had sworn off big galas and publicity junkets like this almost entirely after he turned 18, but every once in a while he’d put in an appearance at some big soiree and do his thing, if only for Gabriel.

This was the first event Adrien had planned to attend since the two of them had made their relationship public to the press. He had been so excited to attend it as a couple.

Now Nino had essentially abandoned him to the wave of rich folks with their petty shallow conversations and was on the verge of some kind of panic alone behind the first unlocked door he had found.

It had hit him out of nowhere… he hadn’t expected to be comfortable, fancy events were never really his thing and he had always felt out of place in formal spaces. However the more nervous he became the more he felt he was messing up every interaction he had. Despite Adrien’s best efforts they were routinely separated, and every time they were apart Nino would flounder along the edges of the party, hoping no one would talk to him. He was a pretty sociable guy but there were just so many people he didn’t know how to talk to. And in the end he had nothing to say.

When someone who probably had a mutli-million dollar net worth pointed out his tie was messed up it had really seemed like she was just being nice, wanting to let him know to save him the embarrassment, but it had just been the final straw. Now he was totally unpresentable, having made the problem worse as he routinely did.

 Nino slumped against the railing, letting his face fall in his hands as he tried his best to get a grip… the cold, emotionless marble all around him left him in peace, even if the sudden swell of party noise did not.

The glass door clicking shut sent a spike of nerves up his back and he quickly reached for his tie, resolved to just rip if off when he heard a chilling, familiar voice.

“I hope you realize that’s one of kind. If you just throw it over the edge, I won’t be replacing it.”

 Nino paused, taking a long, calculated breath. He couldn’t help the wash of anger that crept up on him in this vulnerable moment, but he used the freezing air around him to push it down, turning to regard the man who had found him.

 Gabriel Agreste did not seem to notice the cold, standing as firmly and distantly as Nino had always known him to be. He was wearing unusually dark colors, his tux looking more appropriate for mourning then it did for a large charity event, but perhaps that was just apart of his newest theme. The suits he had tailored made for himself and Adrien were similar, though thankfully not identical. He approached slowly, drinking methodically from a tall glass.

Nino took a moment to decide how he wanted to handle this, before deciding after a time to just slouch against the railing, allowing his irritation to show on his face.

“What do you need,” Nino muttered, unwilling to engage in the careful politeness they usually maintained. He couldn’t honestly say he had had a deliberately unpleasant experience with Gabriel in some time now, but at this moment… he just didn’t have the energy.

Gabriel didn’t answer, his professional eye glancing over him and sending another wash of anger through him, analyzing him like every other fucking person he had met tonight. It was a shock however when Gabriel stepped forward, coming towards him without another comment just yet, like he didn’t feel the need for one.

Nino tensed in confusion and discomfort as Gabriel set his glass down and abruptly reached for the mess he had made of his tie, ignoring the way Nino backed up against the railing to make as much distance as he could. All Nino managed at first was an uncomfortable huff, but Gabriel hadn’t asked permission and he didn’t ask for any to continue. The cold, emotionless man just started fixing it, ignoring Nino’s rampant confusion.

They were dead silent as Gabriel fixed his tie, the older man just resolving the issue without comment or explanation. By the time he was done the tie was affixed perfectly in its place, but it was clear the young man wearing it was extremely uncomfortable still.

They waited, Gabriel taking a step away and looking out over the railing, the distant view of Paris at night their only commentary for a while.

It was still. And it was cold.

And it was quiet.

 Nino didn’t move for a while, eventually shifting uncomfortably until he was looking out over the vista as well, a good five or six feet between them now.

Nino’s mind was racing over what to do, before a subtle shift interrupted his panicked thinking. He looked over just as Gabriel turned slightly to regard him.

“My son is looking for you.”

“Hm,” Nino replied, looking away. He fidgeted slightly, and said nothing else.

“He’s making a bit of a scene, people are starting to notice.”

Nino couldn’t contain his irritation at that, shooting Gabriel a dark look as he said, “Am I expected to apologize for that?”

“I would have thought you might,” Gabriel said coldly, looking away from him and out over the city. He paused for a beat before his tone shifted. “You accuse me of managing his image,” his voice fell into a near accusation, “You seem far more concerned with it than I am.”

“What does that mean,” Nino hissed at him, finally straightening and facing him fully, but Gabriel seemed unperturbed. He just continued to admire the view.

“It means if you weren’t so obsessed with how your presence affected his reputation you wouldn’t have ran away.” Gabriel turned slowly, fixing him in place with one cold, ice blue eye. “Hypocritical of you, seeing as my son largely holds it against me for asserting that same thing once.”

Nino didn’t manage to retort right away, a hot, angry feeling restricting his chest as he stared him down. He knew his hands were shaking, but as he grappled with the pit of anxiety that clawed through years’ worth of protective anger, he couldn’t know for sure why.

“Don’t act like you know me, you don’t know shit about me.”

“I know about people. It’s my business,” Gabriel stated firmly, looking off into the distance again as if Nino was barely there. “I’ve built a lot around understanding fundamental weaknesses in character. And if you think a man whose built his company around insecurities can’t identify one at a glance then you’re a fool.”

“So you’re a cold blooded monster. I get the picture.”

Nino half expected an evil chuckle or something else cliché from him at this point, but he was surprised to see the man pause and reach for his glass. When he finally spoke… his tone was cold, and bitter.

“I would have thought my son had already told you as much.”

Silence lapsed suddenly, Gabriel’s passive sentiment hanging between them as Nino tried to unpack what that meant. However, there was too much there, the older man continuing to drink silently.

Nino didn’t have anything to say, unsure of what to make of the cards Gabriel was playing. Was he aiming for pity? Like Nino should somehow feel bad about the relationship he had with his son? That didn’t seem right…

One hand drifted to his fixed tie, wondering what any of this was for.

“Do you have a point here Gabe? Or are you just adding vague upsetting dialogue to my breakdown tonight?” Nino pushed the words out firmly, knowing he had to stand his ground with this guy. His casual nickname annoyed him about as much as he had hoped, Gabriel suddenly looking stiff, but not addressing it.

“My point,” he finally spoke, “is that you’re as transparent as you can be. You’re insecure, you’re out of place. You don’t belong here and it makes you seem weak, anyone in that room can tell that much just from looking at you.” Gabriel turned, his expression completely unreadable. “You don’t think you deserve to be here with him.”

Nino didn’t flinch, clenching his fists tighter as he swallowed down all the dark, twisted crap he was feeling. He refused to waver, even if he was sinking he wasn’t going to let that show.

“Well isn’t that just everything you ever wanted,” Nino spat at him harshly, “isn’t it nice to know you were right.”

To his surprise, Gabriel was quiet.

Nino stood there, steadfast. Even if he didn’t know what to do with all the shit in his head, this was a threat he knew how to handle. But despite what he expected, Gabriel didn’t fire back. He waited, and finished his drink, setting it down with a quiet clink of glass against marble.

Gabriel straightened, standing as tall and as unbeatable as he always had. And yet he didn’t look him in the eye.

“I realized too late that what I think doesn’t matter.”

When he finally met Nino’s gaze, what he saw was a young man who was completely unprepared for what he was hearing. He still saw all those insecurities, woven into him and impacting every single thing he said and did. He had spotted them the first time they had met, seen them below the surface every day since. Nino didn’t even attempt to deny it, but that wasn’t the point.

The point was that Gabriel understood what he thought didn’t matter anymore.

“You’re a hypocrite, and a fool,” Gabriel finally surmised plainly, “You openly accept the same things my son held against me.  What I think of you doesn’t matter, what my son thinks of you does. Is that not what he always insisted?”

Nino waited… his steadfast posture loosening in his uncertainty, because- this wasn’t going… how he thought it would.

“… I didn’t think you really understood that.”

“It appears I wasn’t the only one.”

 Nino was dumbstruck, completely disarmed in less than a sentence. The frigid air between them kept them separated, like winter in Paris somehow understood there would always be this immeasurable gap between these two people. Somehow though they occupied the same space, revealing them both for a moment. And he didn’t understand what he saw.

A man who had lost a lot because of his own actions. Naively, perhaps, he had always assumed Gabriel was oblivious to that.

Gabriel Agreste began to step away, pacing around him and abandoning his glass to chill out on the marble railing alone. He was shoulder to shoulder with him when Nino finally spoke, grabbing his shoulder and forcing him to stop.

“Wait- wait. Gabriel wh-,” he hesitated, conflicted about this but knowing he was exposed no matter what he did. He saw right through him.

Nino looked away from him and said, “What if you were right? What if… what if I’m not good enough?”

Gabriel paused, turning his face slightly to regard something, before looking back towards Nino. “I believe my son would have a lot to say on the subject.”

Nino frowned, confused for only a moment before Gabriel excused himself without ceremony or further comment. He stepped away and left him there, and it was only when Nino turned to follow his movement that he saw the illuminated doorway occupied by a still, silent silhouette.

Nino felt his heart falter before it sank deep into the pit of his stomach, the freezing cold of the night occurring to him for the first time in a while. It was inescapable now, chilling him to the bone as he watched Gabriel cross the space, passing by his son without feeling the need to address him. He just left them to survive one another, vanishing into the light and the sounds of the long-neglected venue.

It was quiet, the thrum of the party the only commentary. It faded and dulled as Adrien slowly closed the door, letting it shut without a sound and sealing them away in the private space.

Nino’s hands were shaking, and he knew perfectly why now; there was no anger left to compete for his confusion. He breath became uneven as Adrien stepped forward, coming towards him slowly but falling short with a sizable distance left between them.

The expression on his face was completely unreadable, set firmly in place as he stood there and said nothing. All Nino could hear now was his heart, and his breathing, the tempos erratic and out of sync.

“A-Adrien,” he finally managed, his hands anxiously fumbling with his cuffs. He let out a nervous laugh, unable to look away from his face. “L-look I don’t really know how much of that you heard, but I-,”

“I’ve been looking for you for half an hour,” Adrien spoke flatly, something just below the surface of his tone. “I called you a million times.”

Nino’s hand twitched towards his pocket, another uneasy laugh slipping out. “It must have died…,” he lied.

There was silence, for a while.

“I- I was-… Nino,” Adrien let his name out in a rush, like a gasp almost, and his unreadable expression cracked just a bit into endless guilt, “I came out here so ready to apologize and take you out of here, I was ready to say sorry for dragging you here and making such a big deal out of this even though I knew it made you uncomfortable. I knew you were having a horrible time I knew you hated it but I didn’t- I-,” he stopped again. Adrien looked away, staring down at the cold marble like he needed the distance, and to Nino’s horror he saw his shoulders shake as his hands balled into fists. “I thought you hated fancy parties, I thought you hated formal events. I thought you hated the people and the posturing and everything else I didn’t think-,” he stilled, and looked up. And the look on his face broke his heart.

“Nino is any of what you just said true? Please…,” and his voice cracked, “Please tell me you don’t really believe anything you just said…”

 The space between them felt like miles to him, Nino pouring over the details of Adrien’s face before he couldn’t stand it and he just looked away. His hands curled together without his permission and he didn’t know what to say… he didn’t even know if it was true.

Gabriel had put it in his head but they both knew he was right, everything Nino thought throughout the whole wretched night came back to this one idea. That everyone in the room knew who Adrien was, everyone wanted the gossip on his newest announcement. Everyone wanted to see who was so important that Adrien Agreste had stepped away from the spotlight.

Everyone wanted to see if he was worth it.

And he didn’t know the answer…

 His hands shook only once more, the cold only touching him for another, long, weighted moment. When suddenly he felt something warm and urgent and nearly angry push against his chest, forcing him three steps back.

He was backed up against the railing in a second as Adrien reached for his face, tilting his face and kissing him suddenly, so urgent and quick that it was only Adrien’s strength that kept them both from slipping. Nino let out a gasp of surprise but Adrien took it from him, him mind going blank as he kissed him again, only some corner of his mind registering the distant smash of glass as Gabriel’s abandoned drink tumbled away from them both a long ways down. He fell with it, in a way, only Adrien enough to keep him from breaking into pieces.

He fumbled for something to hold, loosely gripping at Adrien’s jacket as the contact went on, his fingers limp after a while, his thoughts unfocused.

He had no idea how long it went on for, but by the time they were done they were both panting unevenly. Adrien did not leave his space, planting his hands on either side of him on the railing to steady himself. Nino held on to him for much the same reason, his chin tucked into Adrien’s shoulder as they caught their breath.

“I-,” Adrien spoke unevenly, his voice heavy, “I have something… to say.”

“Are you going to say it like that? You can, if you want to,” Nino answered, his chuckle breathy as he struggled to ground himself.

“This is important,” was his only response to his joke, the man moving so that he could force him to look up, the two of them standing face to face.

Nino looked at him again, so close up now that he could see so much behind what he had interpreted as unreadable. It was angry, and guilty, and heartbroken; it was loving, and soft, and urgent, and desperate.

“I have something to say, and I want you to understand it. I- I need you to get this. And if you don’t, I’ll say it again.” His eyes drifted all over his face, holding himself in that intimate space.

“You’re the most important thing that has ever happened to me. The most… critical, and precious thing I have ever had. What you say, and what you think means everything to me, and that’s all. That’s it, I can survive everything else, I can put everything else aside Nino.” He looked him in the eyes, searching his face like he was desperate to be clear. “You are the only unquestionable thing to me, having you with me and knowing that I can be apart of your life is all that counts. I don’t care what they think!” he nearly shouted it, gesturing behind them to things Nino couldn’t even see anymore, only focused on his face. “I don’t care what he thinks, I care what you think, and what you believe. And if you can honestly try and tell me that you- you shouldn’t… that you can’t be- be seen with me I-…” he faltered, his head tilting down and shaking slightly like he didn’t understand. Nino tried to speak but Adrien continued, taking a deep breath and trying to steel himself. “I don’t get it, I don’t understand it. I can’t see it at all and that makes it so hard to come at because I just don’t see where you’re coming from. Please Nino,” he straightened up, looking at him again, “please explain it to me so I can understand. Tell me how it makes sense because I don’t understand. What did you mean when you said ‘What if I’m not good enough,’ what did that mean? Was that him? Was that him trying to get in your head?”

“No, no no no, I-,” Nino faltered, looking down so he could breath. Adrien’s hands were cold from the marble when he reached up to cup his face. When he tried to tilt his face up Nino resisted, moving a hand to hold on to his and leaning into it. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry-,”

“Don’t apologize. Just tell me so I can understand.”

“I don’t know!” Nino finally forced out, shutting his eyes and gripping his hand tighter. For a moment Adrien thought he was going to tear it away, but he just clung to him. “I don’t know, I’m just being stupid, I don’t know how I meant it. But every headlines saying it, every fucking tabloid post all the gossip Adrien its not like you couldn’t hear it,” he moved his other hand to pull a wad of Adrien’s jacket into a fist, hanging on. “I kept pretending like it wasn’t getting to me what was I supposed to say?” he continued wretchedly, finally looking up at his boyfriend and aware of the pain on his face. “How was I supposed to tell you that I didn’t get it either. That every crapshoot paparazzi asking who was so important and I just- I didn’t know. I just felt lucky that you loved me but I didn’t know the answer to all that shit, whose so important, I don’t know either. I don’t get it, I don’t get any of this! I don’t know where to stand or who to talk to or how to look,” he whispered, gesturing to his tie again though it hardly mattered anymore. As the words fell out of him he lost steam and urgency, leaning down until his forehead was against Adrien’s shoulder. His boyfriend responded immediately, holding him tightly.

“I’m sorry…,” Nino finally apologized anyways, keeping his eyes shut and trying to focus on only them. “I should have just told you I was way too far out of my comfort zone… I knew how much this meant to you and I blew it… I wanted people to see us together. But then everyone did and they were asking who I was, and I’m not any-,”

“Don’t,” Adrien cut him off, saying it so suddenly and firmly that Nino immediately fell quiet, pulling back to look up at him. “Don’t say that.”

When he pulled back to stand face to face with him again he saw all of the same things he had seen in him before, but among those feelings now he saw disbelief.

“Don’t talk to me like you’re no one, I can’t stand it Nino… I can’t. You just have no idea…,”

Nino hesitated, wanting to look away again, but not resisting when Adrien reached up to stop him. “No idea about what…,”

“No idea about you,” he answered, and the way he said it, the way he looked at him…

 It was like he was everything.

 When Adrien kissed him again Nino was instantly breathless, clinging to him as Adrien pushed him back. It was like he was trying to speak, taking Nino’s advice and trying to tell him everything he needed to say in a kiss.

His thumb slid over his cheek and Adrien kissed him again, and again, trying as many times as he could to get it all across. How do you tell someone that they’re everything to you? How do you tell someone who doubts and wavers that there are some things that are just fact… indisputable, undeniable facts?

I love you.

I know.

I love you.

I know…

  I love you… I love you.

I know... I know... I love you too.

[timeforelfnonsense]

Under the Light of the Moon (Updated)

Dafni x Astarion 

Rating: E 

Ao3

I’ve been reworking some of the first fics I wrote for these two now that I have a better idea of their relationship. I’ve updated them on Ao3 but there was some interest in me reposting them here as well!  

Sunshine & Starlight: My on going bg3 series 

The tiefling’s fireworks boomed overhead, filling the sky with shimmering lights of gold and silver. Dafni smiled to herself, soaking up the feelings of splendor and revelry that swirled all around her. Their merriment danced across her skin like a warm summer breeze and filled her chest with contentment. She closed her eyes and pictured herself back home in the Feywilds where such joy would have surely created astonishing delights that could only exist in the imaginations of those who had never basked in its splendor.

“Well, you seem quite blissful!” A pretty tiefling spoke, “I hope I’m not bothering you. I just wanted to say thank you-.” She paused, “Is that umm normal for you?”

Dafni blinked a few times allowing herself to float back down to reality. She followed the bard’s eyes down to her feet where a small patch of flowers had begun to bloom.  “Oh! Yes!” Dafni assured, taking the other woman’s hands in her own. “Sorry! I was a bit far away just then! What were you saying?”

“Only that I wanted to thank you.”

“Oh! You don’t need to thank me Alfira! I was happy to help!”

“You remembered my name?” Alfira said, her eyes lighting up as a beaming smile formed on her lips.

“Of course! I sang with you in the grove!” Dafni gave her hands a little squeeze, “You have a beautiful voice.”

A deep plum blush spread across Alfira’s cheeks as she babbled a thank you. Dafni had that effect on people, charming and beguiling them as effortlessly as breathing. It wasn’t something she did on purpose. It was simply the way the gods made her. She craved closeness and affection from those around her more than most. She had been brought up by a serious, if not dotting mother who tirelessly protected her from those who would seek to take advantage of her kind heart. As well as a clan of ‘sisters’ with whom she had shared her every thought and confidence. To Dafni tenderness and trust were simply the way of things and she had carried that sensibility with her into the Material.

“Don’t look,” Alfira leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “but, that man is staring at you rather intently.”

“What man!?” Dafni squealed, “Where?! What does he look like!”

Dafni began to bounce on her heels as she battled the urge to follow Alfira’s stare. She, like so many of the fey, found herself rather enchanted by flattery and adoration. A dashing stranger admiring her from across a party was a positively delightful prospect.

“He’s an elven man, very fair in complexion. He has handsome features but he looks a bit...Intense. I think I saw him with you at the grove?”

Astarion?

Her heart skipped a few beats. She’d always thought him rather attractive- Princely even. With his strong cheekbones and a sharp jaw. And those ruby-red eyes, teeming with unanswered questions. There was a delicious danger about him as well. She should have found his vampiric nature ghastly and frightening, but it only added to his wicked charms. She certainly wanted him but he could be a hard book to read. On one hand, he was always chiding her for ‘unnecessary acts of kindness’. On the other, he’d nearly kissed her that day on the riverbank. And the night she’d allowed him to drink from her he had held her with such affection but she’d attributed that to some sort of vampire feeding behavior rather than attraction. The curiosity became too much for Dafni to bear. He was leaning against a tree drinking wine straight from the bottle. It seemed Astarion was indeed her admirer after all. Her cheeks went hot as they clapped eyes on each other. With a smirk, he mouthed a silent ‘hello’.

He heard the lyrical chime of Dafni’s laughter from the other side of camp. She threw her head back, sending her lovely pink curls tumbling down her shoulders. Flowers sprung up at her bare feet and butterflies with wigs of faerie fire fluttered around her. She had traded her armor for a nearly transparent dress that left precious little to the imagination. He could hardly look away. She had an exquisite figure, softer than most elves, plump and curvaceous. It was as if she had intended to tease and tempt him, prancing around in next to nothing. A gentle breeze blew through her hair and filled his lungs with the familiar aroma of lilac and evening primrose.

His mouth watered at the thought of sinking his teeth back into her once more. The memory of her fingers laced through his hair, pulling him closer, inviting him to drink deeper, was still fresh in his mind. He’d thought about bedding her plenty of times after they met but, they had been little more than idle fantasies. But, since that first taste, he found his imagination wandering towards the debaucherous more and more often when she was around.

“Enjoying your party, Daffodil?” He asked, taking a long drink of his wine as she bounded towards him, “Would you like some? It tastes awful but please, help yourself.”

“It’s OUR party!” She corrected, “You shouldn’t be over here sulking alone!”

She shook her head, rose curls bouncing as she snatched the bottle for a nip. He couldn’t help but smile as she screwed up her nose when she swallowed. No, red wine wouldn’t be her drink would it? Too heavy and bitter. She’d like something sweeter. Floral maybe? Just like her.

“See. Awful! You know, I never pictured myself as a hero. Never thought I’d be the one they toasted for saving so many lives. And now that I’m here…” He paused for just a moment before scrunching his nose up in disgust, “I hate it. This is awful.”

“You did a good thing!” She scolded, “You deserve to enjoy yourself.”

He scoffed, giving her a dismissive wave, “I just would have liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine. I’m just looking for a little more excitement. A little more fun.”

“You should attend a party in the Feywilds sometime.” She suggested, “They can go on for days at a time! Especially if a satyr is involved in the planning!”

“That does sound more exciting. This drawl gathering could do with a little more heathenism. You know, we could always make our own entertainment, darling. Get a little closer so to speak.” There it was. He needed to have her. Why deny it any longer? He’d been cautious and calculated but the craving for her never stopped. He looked her over from toe to tip, drinking in her beauty with unapologetic want.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean?”  Her pink eyelashes fluttered over winsome topaz eyes. Her slender fingers tucking a stray hair behind his ear.

He stared at her dumbfounded. Was she really that innocent? He thought he’d made it clear he was interested? Perhaps she’d never been propositioned before, though he doubted that. She was a fetching little enchantress. It was impossible that he was the first to take note of her grace and charm.

“By the Hells! Sex, my dear.”

“Oh? Is that what you are after?” A mischievous grin formed on her perfect lips. “Well maybe if you say please.”

“What?” He couldn’t help the keenness in his voice.

“Say please,” Dafni repeated, her tone was honey-sweet.

Her head tilted to the side allowing her hair to slip from her shoulder and expose her neck. She took a step closer, closing the space between them. His breath caught in his throat as he struggled to swallow a low moan as she caressed him over his breeches. It seemed sweet, angelic, Daffodil was not quite the innocent maiden after all. A delicious turn of events. Her other hand wound its way through the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down to her. Her lips were petal-soft against his as she pulled him into a slow, teasing kiss. The tip of her tongue dancing across the velvet of his inner lip. Each brush of her mouth coaxing more and more desperation from him.

“Please.” He sighed between hungry kisses rocking against her palm.

“Yes.” She relented at last before placing one last, maddeningly chaste kiss on his lips, “How could I say no to such a polite request.”

“Cheeky little pup.” He purred, “ Now go on- Enjoy the rest of your party. I’ll see you later.”

He emphasized his statement with a quick squeeze of her backside that was met with a high pitched squeak. He had half mind to take her right then but surely someone would notice if they were to sneak off so early in the night. No, it seemed he would just have to wait. At least that would give him time to think of all the things he would do to her once the rest of the camp was sound asleep.

She crept softly on the balls of her feet. She could feel the excitement like electricity on the air. She was a creature of revelry at her core and the promise of a late-night romp in the woods filled her with delight. She pinched her thighs together savoring the fire growing between her legs. Cool hands wrapped around her waist drawing a frightened yelp from her lips. She felt his breath hot on her ear as he chuckled in response.

“There you are. I’ve been waiting.” He whispered pulling her closer, his hands wandering towards her chest, “Waiting since the moment I first set eyes on you. Waiting to have you.”

She could tell he was grinning without having to look at his face. She could hear it in the tone of his voice. Feel it in the squeeze of his hand on her breast. She let her head fall against his chest glancing up at him with a look that was equal parts mischief and desire.

“You don’t have me yet.”

“Don’t I?” He mused. His free hand pushed up her thin dress, running up her inner thigh, “You are here. And I don’t think you want to talk.” She bit down on her lip holding back a whimper as she felt his cool hand cup her core. “I think you want to be known. To be tasted. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To lose yourself in me?”

She was lost for words all she could muster was a simple nod. She tried to squirm against his hand but he held her tight as he pulled her into a deep kiss. She could taste the wine, dry and sharp on his tongue as he ran it along the seam of her lips.  

“I thought so.” He smirked, releasing his hold on her, “But, you’ll have to say please.”

Dafni watched him as he circled her, admiring her from every angle. She considered yielding to his request for a moment...No, the urge to misbehave was far too appealing. She would give in eventually, of course! But, the thought of reaction was far too sublime to not test the waters.

“Make me.”

He tisked, shaking his head at her rebellious reply. A fearsome look danced across his features. He flashed her his teeth, fangs on full display as a playful growl rumbled in his chest. In one fast movement, he picked her up, throwing her legs around his waist. She clung to him for dear life as she felt her feet leave the ground.  

She was infuriating, that little minx. She seemed to know all the ways to rile him up and more than that seemed to enjoy doing it. He made quick work of that madding dress discarding the translucent, shimmering fabric to the forest floor without a care. He lifted her, pressing her back up against the trunk of a tree. She had a white knuckle clutch on his shoulder.

“I won’t drop you,” He promised.

“Are you sure? I’m a bit heavy.” A perfect blush the same color as her rosy hair covered her freckled cheeks.

“I’m sure.” He gave her thigh a reassuring squeeze. “Now where was I? Ahh- That’s right...”

He brought his head to her heaving breast listing to the rapid beating of her heart. took in a lungful of air savoring her bouquet before taking a nipple into his mouth. He reveled in the sweet mews was making. He slid a hand between her legs. His body stirred as he found even wetter than expected. He slipped a finger into her meeting no resistance. Dafni whined, grinding agent his pumping hand.

“Have you reconsidered my generous offer, Daffodil? I can feel how close you are. Just say please and I’ll give you what you need.”

She had never been one to beg but he knew what he was doing. Offering her just enough pleasure to turn her into an incoherent mess but not enough to find release. Dafni swallowed her pride at last.

“Please…”

“What?” He teased, “I don’t think I heard that? You’ll have to speak up, darling.”

“Please!” She nearly shouted, “Please let me cum, I’ll be as loud as you want just please!”

He slid another finger into her and hastened the rhythm of his touch. Dafni felt her breaths grow shorter and shorter until a long breathy cry fell from her lips. She felt relief wash over her first followed by the sensation of floating in a sea of bliss.

Her feet hit the ground with a soft thud as Astarion dropped his vice grip on her thigh. She wobbled, grabbing onto his biceps for balance. . He seemed extremely pleased with himself! Dafni stuck her tongue out at him. She pushed off the tree taking fist fulls of his shirt into her hands. She yanked him down to meet her hungry kiss before he could make any smug remarks about her begging.

“You have far too many clothes on.”

He wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up splayed out in the dirt. It had all happened rather quickly after she stripped him down to nothing. He found himself struggling to care, however. All that mattered was the feeling of Dafni’s wet slit sliding over his throbbing cock. He grabbed her hips controlling her tempo. She leaned forwards nipping at his collarbone. He groaned as she ran her tongue along the faint imprint of her teeth. A moonlight garden had begun to spring up around them, snowdrops, jasmine, and in her hair delicate white and pink daffodils.  

“You had me fooled,” He moaned, “I thought perhaps, you were still a maiden.”

She laughed, throwing her head back, “Are you disappointed?”

“Hardly” He scoffed, “I don’t think a maiden would be quite as- Ah! Skilled…” His hips jerked upwards causing Dafni’s curves to bounce sinfully.

“Ok enough teasing.” She said with a peal of silvery laughter.

She stretched her arms overhead grinding into him once more before pulling her hair to the side baring her neck. The ravenous sound Astarion made sent a jolt of pleasure zipping through her body. His eyes wide with disbelief, he seemed almost flustered by the gesture, the whisper of a pink blush spreading across his nose to the very tips of his ears. She couldn’t help the gentle smile that tugged at her lips. It was strange to see him this way, with a worried brow and puppy dog eyes. He nuzzled against the hollow of her throat. Placing a lingering kiss over the faded mark of his teeth.

He took her by the shoulders, flipping her onto her back. In one push he hilted himself. Dafni cried out, lifting her hips to meet his. He felt her hands slide up his ribs, traveling ever closer to his back. He pulled back with a start on instinct, wrenching away from her loving caress. She stared at him. Worry flashed across her delicate features. He had hoped to avoid questions but his reaction seemed to have only ignited her insatiable curiosity. He took her hands pinning them over above her head and he laced his fingers through her own as he sunk his teeth into her tender flesh. A sharp exhale fell from Dafni’s lips in response. Whatever questions that she had fallen to the wayside as she writhed beneath him.

The feeling of her blood rushing through both their bodies was intoxicating. Her taste was like pomegranate, bright, and sweet. Though, her flavor was but a small part of the rapturous experience. The joyful presence that surrounded her was dizzying enough on its own but to drink from her went far beyond the playful delight simple proximity brought. She felt like every good thing he had been denied in the last two centuries. He forced himself to pull away despite his instincts begging him to take his fill. He recalled the sleepy delirium that took her the last time. A state that was far from ideal for fornication.

“You are exquisite.”   He gasped,  “ Sunlight made flesh. ”

By the Hells!

Had he said that out loud? He felt the fresh blood in his veins betrayed him, his face growing hot with embarrassment. He tried to look away from her but she reached up brushing his messy white hair away before placing a cautious hand on his mid-back.

“ I want you to look at me ”  She whispered, “ You don’t have to hide from me. Not ever .”

She ran her fingers along his spine feeling the telltale texture of marked flesh. He tensed at first but with a deep breath allowed himself to melt into her soothing touch. He was still holding back. Tucking parts of himself away from her even now. She wouldn't push him no matter how badly she wished to know his every secret. She would simply have to savor the glimpses he allowed her for now and trust he would tell her everything in his own time.

His thrust grew frantic and impassioned. She dug her heels into the base of his spine until his body was flush with her own. He bit down on his lip as he came undone spilling his seed inside her. The feeling of him pulsing inside her pushed her to her climax. A cry broke loose from her that echoed through the trees and what had started as a humble bed of flowers spread across the forest creating a lush meadow. Butterflies of pure light burst into existence.

He lay beside her in silence for a while, staring up at the stars. He felt her slide her warm hand into his own. Her hair tickled his shoulder as she scooted closer, snuggling up at his side. He kissed the top of her head. Her breathing was slow and deep. It seemed she was worn out enough sleep rather than taking her usual trance. It had been a long day. She deserved some rest. He would leave soon but he wanted to savor her for a few moments longer...

[mordoriscalling]

The Second Waltz (pt. 4/5)

(Part 1&2  Part 3)

The day after the ball, Jaskier went downstairs half past noon. After all, he had gone to bed well past midnight, which was a sufficient justification for his late arrival to breakfast. Nobody needed to know that he couldn’t fall asleep because thoughts about a certain witcher had kept him awake until it was no longer dark outside.

When he entered the dining room, he found no one there, which wasn’t an unwelcome surprise. The young Viscount sat down at the table and started eating, trying not to revisit the certain memories of the previous day. He didn't want to think about how his family would continue to tease him about his behaviour. 

Just as Jaskier thought that, his father walked in. 

“Oh, Julian!” Lord Pankratz greeted his son cheerfully, “We’re alone, good.”

The words made Jaskier freeze. “What do you mean, father?”

Count Alfred Pankratz sat down across his son. His usual gaiety gave way to seriousness as he answered, “There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

Jaskier’s studied his father’s expression, looking for any clues as to whether he should be worried. “Has something happened?” he asked. Then, it occurred to him what could be the reason for this conversation – it had taken place before. “Please don’t tell me that scandalous rumours about me are circling around again.”

Lord Pankratz’s dark green eyes twinkled. “Why, dear son,” he replied, “I should say that they erupted like a wildfire after your... spirited dance with Geralt of Rivia.”

Jaskier looked down at his plate, his cheeks hot. Count de Lettenhove only chuckled, for at this point he knew there was nothing to be done about his son’s untamable nature. In fact, he had grown to appreciate and be fond of that particular trait in his middle child. It was very similar to his wife’s character, and he admired her greatly.

“This is not what we want to discuss with you, however,” he told his son. Letting out a heavy sigh, he went on, “As you know, we’ve been struggling with monsters on our lands for a long time.”

Jaskier nodded. There were many kikimora nests all over the Lettenhove county, and wyverns were a strangely common occurrence as well. No matter how many times witchers were hired to deal with the monsters, the issue returned quickly. Some thought their lands to be cursed.

“After the recent kikimora attack, we’ve come to the conclusion that special measures should be taken,” Lord Pankratz said, “Your mother advised me to write to Master Vesemir of the Wolf School to request aid. Master Vesemir judged our monster infestation problem as rather grave and proposed a certain... lasting solution.” Count de Lettenhove’s hands fidgeted and it suddenly struck Jaskier that his father was nervous. “It would a contract between Lettenhove and Kaer Morhen,” he carried on explaining, “effective for years to come. The witchers of the Wolf School would regularly patrol our lands and kill monsters in exchange for funds. As a way of sealing this contract, one of my children, who conveniently are renowned bards, would enter a... binding partnership with one of the witchers.”

“A binding partnership,” Jaskier echoed flatly.

“Marriage, Julian.”

“Oh,” Jaskier could only say. “With who?”

Lord Pankratz watched him warily. “Master Vesemir chose Geralt of Rivia as the one to be married.” He paused, anticipating some kind of reaction from his son, but there came none. Jaskier only stared at him, his face carefully blank, so the Count went on, “And well, we were very glad to see you and him get along–”

Jaskier rose from his seat so abruptly that the chair fell to the floor. He directed an accusing pointing finger at Lord Pankratz, for he now understood everything. “You! You planned this!” he cried, “You and mother both, and you didn’t tell me a thing! Why?!”

“We know your free spirit,” his father replied, painfully honest, “You would’ve done your best to disappear, had we told you earlier.”

Jaskier opened his mouth to protest, then quickly closed it – he couldn’t deny his father’s words.

Lord Pankratz let out a rueful sigh. “I’m sorry that it has to be you, Julian, I truly am. Yet we simply couldn’t do that to Priscilla, and Essi is a bit too young.”

The Viscount pursed his lips but again found himself unable to disagree. “When?” his ground out, his jaw clenched tight.

There was immense sadness in his father’s eyes as he answered, “Next month.”

“All right, then,” Jaskier replied sharply. He then stormed out of the room and out of the Palace, barely aware of his surroundings. Fury almost blinded him.

 His legs carried him through the gardens, then towards the charming little forest that stood at the end of the grounds adjacent to the Palace. The brisk walk did nothing to help with getting the anger out of his system. In fact, the scorching heat of the day, rather unusual for May, had an opposite effect. Jaskier had to strip out of his doublet and unlace his chemise not to go absolutely mad, and when he finally reached the shade of the wood, he nearly teared up in relief. The Viscount wandered only a bit further, until he reached a small stream. He splashed its water all over his face and neck to cool down, almost soaking his chemise completely. After doing so, he sat down by the nearby oak tree, leaning his back against the massive trunk. Closing his eyes, Jaskier simply breathed in and tried to sort his thoughts.

He believed himself to be a true songbird in everything but physical form. He hated to be caged and always longed to fly free, after all. Being a witcher’s bard was practically a perfect way of living for him – he would gladly bear the tie of the partnership (that wasn’t too constricting anyway) in exchange for the constant travel and new wonders to immortalize in song. The commitment of being married to a witcher, however, displeased him greatly. Jaskier was aware that he was too self-absorbed to be married to anyone without hurting both parties.

The sound of a horse’s snort startled him out of his morose contemplation. Jaskier stood up and searched the surrounding with his gaze... only to see Geralt of Rivia himself, leading a chestnut horse by the reins a short distance away. Both the witcher and the Viscount froze in shock at the sight of each other, and Jaskier couldn’t help but notice that the handsome monster hunter looked even more impressive with the black armour on and the two swords on his back. His white hair caught the sunlight seeping through the trees and his golden eyes seemed to glow as they lingered on Jaskier.

Suddenly Jaskier realised what kind of picture he made – his chemise was still wet and unlaced, so it clung to his body and revealed his chest hair, leaving very little to the imagination. With a brazen smirk, Jaskier straightened his posture and put his hands on his hips, cocking them to the side. The witcher’s gaze followed the action in a rather appreciative manner, briefly roaming over Jaskier’s body before focusing on his face.

The bright gold met the cornflower blue and all at once, the yesterday’s memories of their dancing came back to Jaskier – the heat, the thrill, the breathlessness. Now, however, the experience was tainted with the truth of their situation, and Jaskier couldn’t fight the bitterness in his voice as he asked, “Did you find me satisfactory?”

The witcher let out a confused little “hmm?” that Jaskier refused to find endearing. “Yesterday, when we danced,” he clarified, “Did you deem me good enough to marry?”

Geralt of Rivia scowled formidably. “I didn’t know it was you,” he replied, “And I didn’t know about the arrangement either.” These words made Jaskier scoff. “I swear,” the White Wolf insisted with a growl, “If they’d told me, they wouldn’t have found me ever again.”

Jaskier strangely found comfort in this. The anger in him deflated as he let out a slow breath. He eyed his future spouse wearily, taking in his armour, swords and horse again.

Then, an idea struck him.

“We really could run away.”

Geralt looked at Jaskier as if he went insane. Then, he deadpanned, “Don’t tempt me.” Intrigued, Jaskier was about to say something, but the witcher spoke first, “We need this contract. Kaer Morhen is falling apart and we haven’t got the funds to properly restore it. My reputation, too...” he trailed off, then huffed. “I need a bard.”

As if that explained everything, the White Wolf tugged at his horse’s reins and started walking ahead, not even sparing Jaskier a glance. Jaskier, wholly overtaken by the urge to execute his brilliant idea, wouldn’t be ignored. He jogged up to the witcher’s side and stood in his way.

“Let’s run away,” he said.  

Geralt looked at Jaskier like he was the most vexing creature in the world. Jaskier, not cowered by the White Wolf’s furious stare, added, “For just a fortnight.”

This, Jaskier could see, made the witcher’s resolve crack slightly, so he pressed on, “We will leave no note, send no letters, just to make them mad with worry so that they will repent for the secrecy.”

“Hmm.”

“I’ll have enough coin to cover all the costs of travel.”

“Fuck.”

“I won’t be but a silent backup –”

“Fine.”

The witcher’s irritated grunt made Jaskier beam. His happy grin seemed to placate Geralt somewhat. “Let’s meet at the stables after dinner, then,” he said.  

“Pack light,” Geralt grumbled.  

This made Jaskier smile even more.

A few hours later, the Viscount finally got introduced to the rest of the special guests. He found that Lady Yennefer was just as terrifying as she looked, and Lady Triss and Mister Eskel were both amicable and overall a wonderful company. Jaskier’s sisters appeared to think so as well, since although they stayed wary of Lady Yennefer’s merciless wit, Priscilla seemed to have made fast friends with Lady Triss, while Essi and Eskel were clearly quite taken with each other. As regarding the latter development, Jaskier decided that he and the Wolf witcher will have words soon, for he wasn’t sure he could allow his dearest, sweetest, seventeen-year-old Poppet to leave for the Path just yet.

That conversation was to come later, however. First, there was the escape. After Jaskier and his family ate dinner with their four special guests, both the Viscount and the White Wolf excused themselves before they joined the rest for the evening. Jaskier said that he had to fetch his lute, while Geralt announced that he would first check on his horse, for the mare had seemed unwell. What Jaskier did go to grab was actually both his lute and his travel pack, and Geralt’s horse (named Roach, for reasons Jaskiers couldn’t begin to fathom) in truth seemed to be in good health as she carried them both away from the Palace.

Jaskier was almost heady from the success of the little scheme but his joy didn’t last long. As they stopped in the fields for the night and lit the bonfire, Lady Yennefer portalled into the middle of the campsite, almost giving Jaskier a heart attack. Geralt had failed to mention that apparently, sorceresses could make use of what was called “tracking spells”.

“What is the meaning of this?!” she thundered.

The White Wolf only smirked and pointed to Jaskier. “It was his idea,” he said.

Jaskier gasped at the betrayal. He was about to call Geralt a bastard but then Yennefer’s lightning-like eyes were on him, taking away his ability to speak.

“Mister Pankratz,” the sorceress addressed him, her voice calm but with a detectable threat undreneath, “your family are worried sick. I’m asking you to go back home on their behalf.”

“I will not,” Jaskier mustered a reply. Yennefer narrowed her eyes at him but he only raised his chin defiantly. “If you’d be so kind, Lady Yennefer, please pass my deepest, sincere apologies on to my sisters. Please also tell my parents that they can expect me back home in two weeks’ time. This –” he gestured at the campsite vaguely “– is what I believe to be the best way to get to know my future spouse and the reality of our approaching, arranged partnership. It’s an opportunity which my parents denied me, for they told me nothing about the marriage until this morning, and I refuse not to seize the chance now that I’m here.”

To his surprise, Yennefer relented.

At the beginning of their travels, Jaskier and Geralt learned all the ways in which they were incompatible. Jaskier was a flurry of music and motion, which assaulted Geralt’s sensitive witcher senses. Moreover, Jaskier kept complaining about the discomforts of the Path and camping in the wild, and his incessant whining, together with all the noise he made, irritated Geralt beyond belief. The witcher was at the end of his tether at all times, which made him quick to snap at Jaskier for any reason. Jaskier bore Geralt’s bad temper up to a point but as days passed, the witcher’s prickliness was beginning to put him off more and more. Geralt also didn’t engage in any kind of conversation with “his” bard, and the witcher’s dismissive silences were perhaps what hurt Jaskier the most.

By the end of their first week together, they could barely stand each other’s company. They were both in a foul mood, as their forcedly-shared future was looking rather bleak, but then something happened that kick-started a change in their dynamic – Geralt took a contract to get rid of a noonwraith. The pay for the job seemed meagre even to Jaskier but the White Wolf accepted only half of it. When Jaskier asked him why he had done that, the witcher replied, “Look around. This village is so poor that I’m surprised they collected as much money as they did.”

It was at this moment that Jaskier realised that the White Wolf was kind. He was kind and willing to sacrifice his well-being to protect others, even if they spat at him and called him a Butcher. When Geralt returned wounded to their camp after the hunt, he only laid down on the ground without a word, and Jaskier’s heart broke a little.

“Geralt,” he asked, “what do you need?”

“Silence,” the witcher grunted. After some time, he added, “And the black potion in the green veil.”

Jaskier hurried to fetch it as quietly as he could. From that point on, Jaskier started learning how not to be so self-centred – he stayed silent when he noticed that the witcher couldn’t stand his chatter anymore and tried to complain less. Geralt noticed this and thanked Jaskier for it in his own way, by making sure that his bard was as comfortable as it was possible and gracing Jaskier with instances of his dry humour. Jaskier actually found Geralt quite hilarious. Soon, the two were trading quips and barbs with ease, and the rest of their journey was marked by jokes and challenging stares.

“You know, Geralt,” Jaskier said when they were approaching the Lettenhove Palace, “I can’t wait for our first-second dance. I’m sure you’ll allow me to lead this time, won’t you?”

Geralt only hmmed as he held Jaskier’s gaze, his golden eyes making Jaskier short of breath.

TBC

Part 5

***

A/N: My god, these two dumbasses. I love them. This fic wasn’t supposed to get that long but well... what can you do? XD Tagging @siriusly-the-best-bi and @sometimesiwrite. Part 5 hopefully coming later today. 

[parkeraul]

Little Black Dress and Little White Lies with Shawn! (aka some of THE best 1d bops)

→ excruciating | s.m

ann’s note — thanks for requesting. i hope i kept it up to these two LEGENDS we call songs. if u have requests, hit the askbox.

pairing: shawn mendes x reader 

masterlist┊add yourself to my taglists┊give me feedbacks.

warnings: alcohol, swearing, angst and teasing.

“Heads up!” Brian whispers, elbowing Shawn lightly and it makes him almost spill the drink out of his glass. 

“Dude—”

“Here comes trouble.”

When Shawn tilts his head to see above the crowd, he wishes he had some camomile tea instead of vodka inside the glass. His instant reaction is to roll his honey eyes and look up to the ceiling right after, as if he asked God the reason why, he’d get an answer. But of course Shawn is quick to glance back at Y/N’s direction, because he wouldn’t wanna be the only person in that room to miss the sight of her crossing the door. And fuck, she’s never looked this fierce before. 

Y/N proudly trails her way inside with a silk black dress that hugs her body in all the sinful ways, her neck being partly hidden by a black velvet collar. The straps of the dress are thin, so there’s more than just her cleavage showing up. Her shoulders are exposed too, and all her torso shines beautifully in every single angle. Her face and hair are done in that way she loves so much and Shawn swears that if the room was silent, people would hear his heart pounding.

“Fuckin’ shit.”

Shawn turns his back to the door and faces the window that draws all the way from the ceiling to the floor, walking towards the glass to drop his forehead onto it, wishing it would break above him and kill him before she did. He presses his lips against each other in a thin line, breathing deeper as he looks at Connor switching glances between Y/N and him. Without thinking twice, Connor laughs drunkenly and curls his left hand on a fist, tapping loudly his open right hand on top of it repeatedly — you’re screwed.

“I know, man,” Shawn mouths through gritted teeth. “I know.”

Brian approaches his friend with a grin on his lips, a stupid grin, Shawn would say. He can spot it through the glass’ reflection, and he squeezes his drink with a certain might. 

“What are you waiting for?” The ginger boy speaks up close to his ear, crossing his arm around his best friend’s shoulders. 

“Eh?” 

“Talking to her, dumbass,” Brian finishes his beer with a last gulp, already smelling way too much like alcohol for Shawn’s nostrils. “C’mon, step up your dick.”

Huffing, Shawn frowns and smiles confusedly against his own will. As if he wasn’t explicitly clear, Brian taps his back twice with heavy, clumsly slaps. 

“What makes you think I’d wanna talk to Y/N after that little stunt she pulled—”

“Man, that happened three months ago!” 

“So what?” 

“So what?” Brian screams, opening his arms in protest while Shawn crosses his own. “Bro, you weren’t even together. You told me that, you were just sleepin’ together for fun.” 

Down goes another alcohol sip through Shawn’s throat, and he hisses to the burning sensation wandering on his system. He catches back a memory, nodding in denial as he runs his hand through his curls. 

“I told her I wanted more,” He says shyly, inching his head to stare at the floor beneath his feet. “She scoffed. She just rambled, put on her clothes and left. I don’t wanna get there and make the same mistakes over and over again, I’m done.” 

“Shawn—”

“No, man, I mean it,” Insisting, Shawn eyes the surroundings with bitterness taking over his features. Jaw locked, cheekbones highlighting and his face is flushed, frustrated. “That was the last time she played games with me.” 

From afar, he hears the muffled sound of footsteps tapping against the stairs as the deafening song dies. Y/N’s climbing the degrees, purse on her hand as she holds the knot of her dress with her free hand on her back.

“Fine. Whatever you say.” Brian gives up. “And plus, there are plenty of people in this party, I’m sure y—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shawn stares her body until she reciprocates the look, disappearing to the second floor and leaving him no other choice. “I’ll be right back.” 

And just like that, Shawn’s quickly out of Brian’s sight, seeking the way to the stairs as he tries to gently push people out of his way, leaving his drink somewhere far away from his wanting hands as he rubs them together. As he’s almost in front of the first degree, he rapidly undoes three buttons of his red shirt and uses the pads of his index finger and thumb to dry out the drink from the corners of his lips and pushing down the wooden under his feet to prompt himself closer to trouble. 

“Long time no see.” Shawn says flatly, walking slowly to the open door in front of him. 

Y/N jumps lightly, one strap of her dress sliding down her shoulder while she’s got both hands working on the stripes of the back part of her outfit. When she spots him, he’s leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed and chest partly exposed. She gulps, kind of speechless and looking behind his body to notice if there’s someone watching the scene. Shawn immediately walks past the bathroom’s door and closes it behind him, giving her more privacy but danger at the same time. 

“Missed me?” Y/N asks turning back to the mirror in front of her.

“You think you’re so good, don’t you?” Shawn spits in return, laughing under his breath and she knows better not to look at him. He surely has a boyish smile adorning his face, little scar making its presence together with his unruly curls and deadly gaze. His cologne inebriates the smaller place, and he insists on being in her view by standing behind her frame, leaning against the cold tiles. 

“That’s what you used to tell me.” Y/N answers, face serious and admiring her own reflection, struggling on the dress though. 

It gives Shawn the room to step forward, his calloused fingers immediately holding her wrists and putting them in front of her body delicately. They wander up her arms, leaving trails of goosebumps behind and finishing the trip on her neck, massaging the sides with his thumbs while his other fingers trap her throat very softly. 

“Tense?” 

“Around you?” Y/N asks, feeling the knot of her silk dress only loosening more. Soon, both straps fall down to her arms and she feels the need to inhale a bigger amount of air before speaking up again. “Never.” 

This time, Shawn chuckles out loud and runs his thumbs further up, massaging the sweet spot next to where her hair begins. To this, Y/N closes her eyes and leans against his touch, letting out the quietest whimper. And it isn’t enough for Shawn, because he starts to drift his hands back down to the extension of her bare back, mapping the smooth skin intensely. He drops his face down to sniff on the crook of her neck, licking his lips and planting a feather–like kiss on her shoulder, making her shiver. He envolves her hips with his tattooed arm while the other one comes back up to hold her chin lovingly, catching the view of her legs as he levels his face with hers, cheek to cheek. 

“Not one bit?” 

“M-Mm.” 

Purposely, Shawn giggles once again making sure his breath fans against her warm flesh. His mouth kisses up her neck as she tilts her head to the side, enjoying his touch. In each kiss, he pressed his lips down harder and Y/N grabs onto his arm, holding it strongly. 

When Shawn finishes his way up, he stops on the shell of her ear, “Then tell me why do your legs clench everytime I touch you, hm?” 

It’s not like he needed an answer, he came upstairs with a plan. As Y/N opens her eyes and catches his fiery glance through the mirror, Shawn knows it’ll be another night of making his name roll out of her tongue as his work on her whole body like he’d been wanting to do for so long — ‘cause nothing else tastes better than Y/N unraveling her true feelings under his control, eating her lies up.

Taglist: @tastebaldwin – @outlandishnerd – @shawnsheaven – @littlebrownngirl – @snowflakeparker – @mcuspidey

[neoangelic]

71, 62 + Xiumin?

A SIMPLE EXCUSE || kim minseok

summary: You’re stuck at a party and all you need is a simple excuse to leave. Minseok, who is always seen being responsible, is caught by you, looking a little bit worse for wear. You think you found the excuse you needed, but you didn’t know that he also found his. 

i had a lot of fun writing this

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”   “Do you have a ride home?”

PAIRING: xiumin / minseok x reader

WORD COUNT: 1,496 words

TAGS: senior!xiumin | college! au | minseok as: a lost puppy | fluff | college parties and drinking | bestfriend!baekhyun

The party was getting kind of cramped. The place reeked of sweat and alcohol and you wanted nothing more than to go back to your apartment and sleep. But you promised Baekhyun you’d sit through his first time hosting a college party. Honestly, it was a mistake. You forgot how popular he was; he didn’t need any of your help. He was socializing with Taemin and Lucas right now, and if you snuck out, he wouldn’t even notice. 

You’d feel awkward after promising him all that support but what more could you do? You needed an excuse. A way out… 

The Sigma Mu frat house was teeming with inebriated seniors and eager freshmen. Some people were on the dancefloor, like Jongin and Sehun, who were gathering quite a large crowd. Kyungsoo was probably hiding off somewhere. Minseok was…wasted at the bar? His head was down, beers and cocktails scattered around him. His finger was tapping off-beat against the heavy bass of the music.

You didn’t expect to see him here. He didn’t dorm like the rest of his friends, nor was he a part of Sigma Mu. He was a senior that liked to keep to himself and work hard. You could tell by the laptop sleeve under his chin that he wanted to get some work done tonight too. A couple of girls sat next to him, giggling. Looks like Minseok fell prey to some of freshmen that baited him for a few drinks. And he was too polite to refuse.

Or too drunk.

“Oh, Xiumin-seonbaenim! You’re here—listen, I need help on this PowerPoint, do you think you can give me a hand?” You cut in between his distracted, slumped-over figure and the girls. “Sorry, girls. Can I steal him from you?”

They rolled their eyes, “sure, seonbae.”

Insufferable.

There was a tug on the sleeve of your shirt.

“Hey, you said you needed help with a PowerPoint?” Minseok’s voice spilled from his lips clumsily, his head rising cautiously as if someone was pushing it down against his will.

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?” You help him sit up steadily. He didn’t seem as fazed about the physical contact as you thought he would. After all, he didn’t know you. 

A chuckle escaped his moistened lips, liquor air hitting you. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Not by choice.”

You nod, gentle. “At least you’re aware.”

“So, you needed help?”

“No,” you smile. “I think you did. Xiumin-seonbaenim, you should stand up for yourself sometimes.”

“Call me Minseok,” he reached for an empty glass with ice and began swirling it in his hands. “That’s my real name.”

“…right.” Jeez, just how drunk was he? 

Minseok turned to you fully. You could see the colored party lights reflect against his glossy skin and reddened eyes. Tired. It struck you. He looked so tired. 

“Want me to buy you a drink?” He ran his hands through his gelled hair. “Right?”

“No, I’m not drinking tonight,” you raised an eyebrow. “Did Baekhyun drag you here too?”

A bitter laugh. “Yeah—Baekhyun he—that guy’s really good with people. See, you don’t even want a drink for me. Wish I was as sociable as him sometimes.” Minseok slurred his words, swinging his glass with every syllable. “I’m a senior and I still don’t know how to talk to people.”

“I don’t think I’m a smooth talker, either. You saw how those girls walked away the second I got here?”

“…‘ts cause you’re pretty,” he mumbled under his drunken breath—although, you heard him. “It’s fine. You’re a sophomore, aren’t you? Plenty of time to adapt.”

“Xiu—Minseok-seonbaenim, you know me?” You blinked. “Hey. That’s a pretty big deal, you know? You’re popular amongst the student body too—”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” you nudge his shoulder at his disbelieving tone. “Everyone says you’re kind. A lot of people admire how dedicated you are to your doctorate studies.”

“So, you admire me?” Minseok grinned.

“Huh?”

“How did you know my name? To know all this…we’re not even in the same field of study.”

“W—well,” you had a crush on him. “I’m friends with Baekhyun too and—you know my major?”

He lurched forward in his seat, hands rushing to cover his mouth. “Shit.” 

You manage to catch the empty glass he dropped. “Are you okay?”

“Okay? I have an exam coming up in three days and a group presentation in five. Nobody’s answering their texts. I’m stuck here in this stupid party and I think I might vomit if this music gets any louder.”

You stare at him and the bags under his eyes. You didn’t even know how or why he was keeping a conversation with you. Why was he even still here?

“Say…” you put the glass down with a clink. “Do you have a ride home?”

Minseok seemed to come to his senses for a moment, eyes snapping up to you in shock. “No, why?”

“I said I wasn’t drinking today because I was driving home…” you shuffle awkwardly, showing him your car keys. “Would you like me to drive me home?”

“Are you using me as an excuse to get out of here?”

“Y—yeah, I guess so,” you stammered. “But—I really do want to help you out.”

“Then,” he stood up, stumbling on his feet. “Let’s get out of here.”

________________________________________________________________

It was only when you were halfway home to your apartment and you could hear Minseok’s tiny snores in the passenger seat next to you that you realized you forgot to get his address.

“S—seonbae?”

“Call me Minseok,” he mumbled.

“Minseok. Where do you live?”

No reply.

“Hello—Minseok?” He was knocked out. “Crap.”

You would consider it to be an understatement to say it was hard getting Minseok’s sleeping figure into your tiny apartment. You normally wouldn’t invite a stranger into your own bed but his intoxicated breath was probably getting to you. He was curled up, face flushed pink and hoodie wrinkled. His wristwatch that you struggled with taking off was placed by your bedside table. A scene you never thought you would have ever seen.

Well, at least you had a couch to sleep on—

Something pulled you back by the back of your shirt. “Don’t leave.”

“W—you’re awake?” You whipped around to see groggy eyes squinting through the dim light of your room.

“Stay here, will you?” 

“We just met—”

“No more excuses,” he mumbled, still inebriated. “I’ll feel lonely.” Like a puppy. Talking absolute nonsense, whining.

You nodded, “okay.” And Minseok took your hand, wrapping his around it. He was out in a second again. “Just for a little bit.”

You knelt down beside the bed and examined him—his messy bangs and handsome features. This was quite different than the Kim Xiumin you saw from afar. You wonder how long it’s been since he’d been able to be as let-loose as this. Minseok was always sharp and on time to all of his classes. He was always seen studying and helping others.

And with the lull of his breath. You fell asleep.

________________________________________________________________

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

“Ugh—Baekhyun. Hello?”

“Where’d you go yesterday?”

“Minseok-seonbaenim was in trouble. Had to go help him, sorry.”

“Well, that couldn’t be helped. He needs some help from time to time, too—did you say Minseok?”

“Shit.” Your eyes snap open, fully. You find yourself in the comfort of your own bed and blankets. Where was he? You stormed out of your room, looking for any traces of your senior. “Where’d he go?”

“Sorry?”

“No, no. Not you.” You sighed, deciding to quench your dry throat with water. “Yeah, he told me to call him that. Multiple times.”

“That’s weird. He only uses that with people he’s comfortable with.”

As you opened your fridge, a plate filled with food, covered in saran wrap, was waiting for you. A sticky note from your kitchen found itself on top of it.

Thank you ^^ wanted to let you sleep. I had to leave early for some work.

You snatched it up, looking at it closer, “what?” The food he cooked wasn’t even made from things found in your fridge. Minseok had to have walked to the store and back to buy these ingredients. Why did he bother?

A snap came from the speaker of your phone. “That’s right! He always told girls he liked to call him that. I thought he stopped doing that since it was too obvious, though?”

“Girls… he? Hold on, I think I saw…”

“Huh?”

You ran back into your room, looking for the familiar glint of silver you saw this morning. You hadn’t recognized it then, but Minseok’s watch was left on the table. There was another sticky note.

Guess you’ll have to come find me now? Since you used me as an excuse, I’ll use this as an excuse to ask you on a date sometime, ___.

“Hey,” you asked your friend, urgently. “How does he know my name?”

“You haven’t met before? Minseok hyung always talks about you.”

Bastard. He said he wasn’t a smooth talker.

[callmeunstable]

Angels & Demons - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Characters: Reader, Godling, Healer

Summary: She finds herself in the middle of a unknown forest after falling asleep. It seems like a normal forest until she gets to meet a mystical creature that welcomes her in a different world.

Warnings: Monsters, Cursing, Blood

Words: 2.000+

A/N: Hey! This is the second part of my The Witcher Fic. I accidentally deleted this part so I had to reupload ot. Yes I cried, but thankfully I still had the draft saved on my laptop.

Disclaimer: GIF’s and PNG’s are taken from Tumblr and are not mine! Credits to the creators!

Tags: @marvelbrat @charliestuff

Song: I couldn’t find the original one sooo

Absently, Alva wondered if most of the monsters were meant to be as beautiful and kind as James, or if this one was an exception to the rule, her mind struggled to hold on to one thought, with a whole new world opening in front of her.

“I know the healer of the village on the other side of the forest. She’s nice. She brings fruits to me from time to time. She will help you.” James hopped in front of her leading the way out of the woods.

She couldn’t believe anything her eyes captured. There are bad creatures. According to the Godling, there are a lot of them. The boy explained to her, that “Drowners” inhabit both natural and artificial bodies of water, from rivers and lakes to mill ponds and city sewers. It is commonly thought that these creatures are drowned men, somehow arisen from the dead to prey on the living. This opinion is as widespread as it is false, for the beasts are another post-Conjunction relict.

She couldn’t believe that this Godling just was a boy but knowing such crucial things about this life. She remembered James talking about the powers he has, that’s how he was able to save her.

“Hey, play some more of your music, please? I love the sound of it and we have to walk some time.” The Godling begged and gave his best puppy face.

She grabbed her phone and she had an idea. Maybe she was able to call or text her dad? Letting him know she’s okay. She wasn’t sure if this was the best idea she ever had, but still better than making him believe she was dead.

No signal. Of course.

“Music, please.”

She pressed the icons on her phone monotonously and a random song started playing.

 “Oh dear, oh dear, I’m sorry

That you grew up so soon

A cold year and no high school parties

I’ve been drinking alone

Oh, I’ve been drinking alone”

 “A blessing to my ears. What's the name of this bard?” The Godling started dancing along while walking in front of the girl.

“What is a bard?” These questions came automatically out of her mouth, wanting to know everything about this world.

Knowledge is power. Even in a world like this. If she knows what she has to be careful about, she can start to protect herself.

“You know the man and women writing songs and these lovely texts of legends, stories of their personal experiences, or their imaginations. I don’t care what they are about. I care about the melodies. I love the tunes.” James seemed to drift off in a state where he was admiring the artists and musicians at this time the whole way out of the woods.

He specifically talked about a Bard called Priscilla. A young woman famous for her poetry.

 “So, don't fear, don’t fear their warnings

They’re bitterer than most

4 years of driving across the country

For empty seats at their shows

And they’ve been drinking alone.”

 Less and fewer trees came along their way and after some more minutes, a village became visible. Still far away but the girl decided to turn off the music which was rewarded with an angry look of the Godling.

“Her cottage isn’t in the village. It's right here!”

He took a sharp turn between some trees and as told, a small cabin was revealed in front of them. It was old. Looked like a typical middle-aged, self-made cottage. Random kinds of stones were piled upon each other, connected by something that seemed to be a kind of cement. A small chimney was built on top and was busy blowing smoke out of it.

“Savilla! I want to show you, my new friend.” The boy shouted and Alva begged it was quiet enough so no one around could hear them. She wasn’t ready to meet anyone in this world, at least for now.

The old wooden door of the cottage opened and a middle-aged woman stepped out of the house. She was beautiful. Her Long black hair was braided down to the small waist of hers. Her long dress was colored with a dark wood green tone. A small V-neck covered her chest mostly and the butterfly sleeves made her look like a princess. A less fancy princess but a gorgeous one.

“Hello, my lovely James. How can I help you today?” Savilla had a warm smile on her face and holding her arms out for e hug.

The Godling happily jumped into her arms, to just leave them a couple of seconds later to point hysterically at Alva.

“This is my friend Alva. She got lost in my forest and a Drowner hit her. I think shes not from hear so she needs your help.”

Savilla laid her eyes on the small girl for the first time. Silently analyzing every single part of her. At this moment Alva realized that she was a unicorn in this world. Her clothes looked completely different from Safillas and James’. She was wearing a red lumberjacket that revealed her sports bra. Some pair of sporty leggings rested on her legs and short sneakers tied on her feet. Her favorite outfit for hiking. At least her fake leather bag seemed to fit the surroundings.

It wasn’t hard to tell that if the person in front of her wasn’t a cosplayer of Lord of the Rings, she had to be stuck in some kind of middle age century.

“Yes, she's not from here. I can tell.” The firm look of the women changed into a friendly smile. “Come in, I think it’s the best if no one sees you like this.”

Both Alva and James entered the cabin. Inside it was beautiful. Flower and herbs were growing every in countless pottery. An out of stone made kitchen area filled the rest of the room with a cozy fireplace at the opposite wall. Different kinds of fabric and papers stuck to the wall. It was filled with colors and smells that made you feel instantly relaxed, at least if you’re a person like Alva.

“You don’t seem to be in a lot of pain.”, stated Safilla while grabbing a wooden chair and placing it in front of her, guiding her to sit down.

“It’s pretty numb right now. It was worse about an hour ago.” Alva tried to give off a normal impression. But what is normal in this world.

er “That what I was inferred already. You seem to be in shock. Your body numbed itself to protect you from the pain.” While investigating the big scratch she explaining typical injuries caused by Drowners.

“You’re lucky that you had James by your side. He’s a loyal soul.” The healer tossed an apple to the boy who caught it happily.

Savilla mixed some unfamiliar herbs and bandaged it up with a clean cloth.

“It should heal fast, it's not a deep cut. You are lucky.”

The women put everything back in place and then grabbed a stool herself.

“Where are you from?”, she asked.

Where was she from actually? Maybe similar countries still exist?

“Originally my family comes from Sweden but I live in the USA at the moment.” The girl explained but ended up not receiving the reaction she wanted.

“I never heard of a place like that. I traveled a lot through Cintra, Temeria, and Lyria. How did you end up here?”

The girl got quiet. She didn’t want to cause any trouble. She was a stranger to this world. How much corruption was she able to cause?

Alva felt a hand on her shoulder. Savilla gently pat her and gave her a motherly smile.

“Look dear, I’m not here to hurt you. I can see you disturbed, even traumatized. You have no idea how you got access to this world, have you?”

The girl started to tear up and found herself in a warm hug of the healer. She couldn’t help herself but at this moment everything that was built up throughout the day suddenly burst out of her.

Every breath felt like acid burning heart throat, inflaming her lungs. Her heart felt like somebody was squeezing out every single emotion trapped in there. Like a sharp blade that is cutting straight through her chest.

“Mark my words, one day will come when you finally realize that fate is inevitable. One day you will get passed all this pain and realize it was a lesson learned for a better future, for a better you. You believe that this was an accident. But in our world, everything happens for a reason.” Savilla didn’t break the contact because she knew that this girl needed it. This wasn’t the first time something like this happened. The same happened decades ago. When the monsters first got into this dimension.

“I can teach you if you let me.”

Alva lifted her head and looked at the healer.

“I can teach you how to survive in this world until we figure it a way how to get you back. You just need to let me help you.”

“How do you know?” The girl was confused, more confused than she was, to begin with. How much does this woman know?

“This is not the first time a portal opened on accident. What we need to figure out is, if this indeed was an accident or if you have a mission you have to fulfill. I will help you. That’s my duty. Let me explain. I’m a mage.”

Savilla explained to Alva that mages are basically what she knows as a witch. Only rare individuals have the potential to become mages and many of those with this potential are doomed to madness. Unless the individual in question - known as a source - learns to control their power quickly, he or she may end up a half-insane, slobbering oracle. That is why schools of sorcery were created, where talented children study for many years, acquiring knowledge and mastering magical skills. Because of their powers, mages age more slowly than ordinary people. Savilla herself attended a school called Aretuza. But she didn’t believe in their morals so she left and lives on her own.

Mages can extract magical energy from the four elements, transport themselves long distances and heal, as well as kill, in the blink of an eye. They have extensive scientific and political knowledge; in the latter respect, many mages are the equals of rulers.

A witch that is connected so some kind of rule book.

“Know you know about me, but for now we need to get you out of your clothes. They reveal your true identity. There are people out there who will view you as dangerous and they’ll get scared. We need to give you a new persona. But for now, let’s start easy. No one will look for you because James took care of that. New clothes will at least give you the appearance of our dimension.”

Savilla walked in a different room and you could her searching sounds. Fabrics got thrown around after her steps came closer again.

As she walked into the room she showed off a dress similar to hers. The dress was white and it had some floral symbols embroidered in the fabric. Her sleeves were also long and wide, almost touching the ground. The White of the dress was mostly protected by a moss green light coat that had a corset on the front. The white dress was strapless but unseen due to the green coat. On top of that Savilla brought her some flat sandals.

“I can give you some pants to wear underneath the dress if you’d like. Is more efficient when you have to move quickly.” The mage was happy she could assist that young girl. She finally had a purpose to assist to.

Alva only nodded along, speechless by the kindness the woman was offering her.

Savilla walked up to her with a hairbrush and put her hair into different styles. “And maybe we can do something with your hair, putting it up or braid-“, she hesitated the moment when she was putting her hair up. “I think it looks fitting already.”

Quickly brushing Alva's hair down again.

[norafike]

Despite all this, I still love you 15

That Saint Denis trip was the last she had seen of the gang, having left promptly thereafter to return to her own family. Lem was more than excited to see her return, running up once her horse rode in to greet her with a fond smile and Cripps exchanged a small word with her brothers about it, often teasing.

“You ought to take him out and have a long word with him.” Cripps mentioned to Harry who had been picking at chunks in his stew. The man shook his head slowly but when he looked over at his sister talking with the same person he disliked he couldn't help but feel bitter. “Why does she bother with him, he's a nuisance.”

“Well, Lem's not all bad once you know him.” Cripps commented to lighten the situation but Harry only rolled his eyes.

“She shouldn't have forgiven him back then, can't count the times one argument made her upset or angry.”

“Don't forget they were as bad as each other, Lem also found himself upset when they would argue.”

But Harry only shook his head slowly, eating more of his stew. James looked back and forth on the situation and nodded in agreement with everything both men had to say, not taking a specific side. “Look, shouldn't what matter be how Nora feels?” Cripps asked but Harry only let out a huff.

“If havin' Lem around makes her happy, why should it bother you? Ain't like you're around often enough anyway.”

“I'm around plenty, it's her who isn't.” Harry remarked. “And why's it matter what she thinks?”

“Because for one, she raised you both. You were young and as was she and instead of turning you into some orphanage she took you in and raised you into the men, better suited to be children, you are today.”

“All she did was babysit for a few years.” Cripps rolled his eyes, feeling like his ears were lying to him at how rude Harry was being and all of it starting due to his dislike in a certain friend of Nora's. Cripps finished the stew and stood, not before pointing a finger at the brother. “She taught you a lot of things necessary for survival. You wouldn't have lasted five minutes if it weren't for her.”

Harry didn't like that and promptly left the table to return to his tent for the night, leaving James and Cripps sitting alone with the younger males mouth hanging agape. James struggled to apologise on behalf of his twin, not finding an excuse to provide for him and so Cripps let out a little huff before resuming to the stock of his business, checking over everything ready for sell.

“How's Kieran?” Lem asked her. She beckoned him away from the camp to avoid eavesdroppers and had him sit down on a rock next to her. “Poor thing's gone missing.”

“M-Missing?” He gasped.

“Last I saw him he was drunk, not thinking clearly and I worry about what has happened to him.”

“Well, I'm sure he's gonna be fine, Nora.” Lem calmed and she gave him a light chuckle before shaking her head. “It's a nice thought to have but I'm afraid that…” She paused as she found it difficult to carry on with the sentence and began to pick at the thread of her blouse to distract her for a brief moment before she was able too. “Well, I'm afraid his time has inevitably ran out. I don't think Kieran ever had too long left.”

“That's v-very negative, especially f-from you.” Lem furrowed his eyebrows and Nora could only nod slowly, recognising herself how she had become a lot less hopeful in her words. “I know, I'm sorry.”

“Don't be.” Lem looked over towards the campfire, ignoring the look on her face. “It's life after all.”

“Yeah.”

...

She sat near Lem on the rocks as they watched from a distance, Kieran fish. The man had occasionally turned back to talk with the two of them but for the most part they sat in comfortable silence.

“How many fish you caught Kieran?” Nora piped up to ask him and he looked down into his bucket to count how many he had in there. “Roughly f-five or six.” He answered.

“That's not bad.” She replied and Kieran nodded gently with her words, focusing on not blushing at her compliments or how kind he realised she was to him.

“We should start headin' back soon before the gang think you decided to run away, that or they think one of us murdered the other.”

He knew it to be spoken in some truth but he didn't wish to return quite yet, at least, not until it was well past nightfall and the majority of his unfortunate campmates had since retired to their cots or bedrolls to sleep. “With any luck they'll think you murdered me, then I can slip away and-” He had stopped himself quickly when the realisation struck that he hadn't meant the words he was about to say.

“Let's go.” He lowered his fishing rod and picked up his bucket in the same hand, taking Branwen by the reins and leading him over to Clemens Point. He wished to travel further to fish but with his past no members of the gang would let him travel too far out on his own and even when he had the odd permission to go far someone would grab his shoulder and warn him of what would happen if he stepped out of line.

But with Nora he felt like he could break the rules just to spend time with her that wasn't lived in fear for someone to tease or belittle him.

...

“A party at the mayor's?” Lem gasped when she so casually brought it up and the female nodded slowly to confirm it before handing out two cards between them. He looked at them briefly before turning them over, ready for their game to start once again.

“Someone Dutch and I became acquainted with has invited us along as like his guests. I'm not sure what we'll be doin', but I'm not so excited for it.” She explained to him.

“Can't believe you're actually g-gonna be going in that house. I used to admire the mansions in Saint Denis- when I would p-pass through there.”

Nora looked up, noticing the concentration on his face as he pulled a card from the deck, biting his lip in suspense as he pondered over the number before letting out an exhale of air when the number didn't go above twenty-one. “I did too, I guess.”

She reached forward and pulled out a card before sighing out loud as the kind brought her over the desired number and Lem snorted when he learned she lost to him again. “You gotta be cheatin', mister.”

“Guess I'm just lucky.” Nora laughed aloud when he said this and shook her head in disbelief at the claim. “You're by far the unluckiest person I met, Lemuel.”

“How k-kind of ya.”

She raised the bottle in a toast before taking a swig of it's liquid, scrunching her face at the bitter taste and gagging on it a little. “Tastes like piss.” She whispered before pouring the rest of its content out on the ground and noticing how Lem began to hide his laughter behind the back of his hand at her reaction to the beverage. His face began to turn red at his concentration to stifle the laugh which made it more obvious than it was and his joy elicited a bright smile on her face. “You're an ass.”

“I know.” He grinned before gathering the cards up once more and shuffling them together. She looked on fondly as his hands worked at the deck and took in how effortlessly they moved just to rearrange the cards for them and how gentle he had been with dealing and quickly she blurted out. “You have nice hands.”

Lem's eyebrow arched and he stopped the task to look up at her and they locked eyes before bursting into a fit of laughter at each other's expressions. Deep down she was mortified for saying such a sentence and was quick to blame it on the liquor that got to her head and he agreed knowing it to not be true, he knew Nora better than most. “Y-You have nice eyes.” He replied and she blushed a little.

“You do too.”

“Not me.” Lem shook his head before flipping his two cards over to start their game once again. Nora copied and watched as he reached forward to take a card. “I hate my eyes.”

Nora pouted, seemingly forgetting the game they were playing before she remembered and forced herself to draw from the deck and she grinned at the close call she got to going over again. “You have.” She paused to think for an answer. “You have nice lips.”

“I have nice lips?” His ears surely must have been playing tricks on him but when he looked up and saw that smirk he knew she was just teasing now and he chuckled lowly at it. “Thanks.” But he still wasn't sure how to properly respond to it.

“You have nice lips t-too.” He mumbled.

“I know.”

Lem rolled his eyes but his focus began to deteriorate and so their game had to come to an end abruptly. He gathered all their cards and returned them to that draw in her desk before excusing himself to leave for a break to catch some fresh air. She let him leave and once he felt he had travelled far enough from the camp he was quick to find a near tree and place his head against the trunk, letting out a deep sigh from his gut.

“Cigarette?” He startled when her voice caught him off guard and quickly turned around with his hands held high to show he was defenceless as if she was some predator to him and she snorted at the reaction before shaking the packet in the air for him to see. He didn't appreciate how amused she was at his fright but took the cigarette regardless, putting it in his mouth and striking match before lighting it.

They stood in a silence that would vary between awkward and comfortable and would occasionally flick their eyes towards one another before diverting their gazes away, their behaviour like teenagers again. The corner of Lem's mouth twitched into a subtle smile when he noticed how nervous she grew around him and when his cigarette had finished he flicked the few embers out a discarded the rest of it on the ground. “So.. you think I h-have nice lips huh?” He was teasing and she knew it and yet she couldn't avoid the flush to her cheeks.

“Yes.”

He leaned down towards her and cupped her cheek with his palm; his thumb tracing gentle patterns along her freckles and slowly he would lean towards her until their noses were brushing against the other. Her breathing hitched and it became hard to think clearly and she wanted to lean into his touch and close the gap between them but something was restricting her from doing so. “Thank you.” He whispered before pulling away.

She stood bewildered as he sauntered past towards camp again and Nora managed an intake of air once it finally caught up to her what just had happened and she silently cursed at him for his torment.

[sarahegerton96]

Dean Karny-Birthday Surprise

This is for my one and only @primaba11erina for being amazing even though she lost our little game I'll still give you your imagine, hope you enjoy, sorry if there’s any mistakes I did try wait it as best as I could, love you bub :*

Y/N:

You know those kinds of friends who would do anything for you? The kind that would drop everything to help you out, the ones who support you and empower you?

Those kinds of friends were the stuff of fairy tales in my fucking life. Bitter anger surged in me as I closed the messaging app on my phone again, the light too bright in this dark club. I'd invited a few girls from work to go out and party with me since it was my birthday today, and I'd wanted to do something exciting for once.

When I'd asked them, Sarah, Layla, Jessa and Nikki all had seemed very willing to join me, and I'd filled with warmth at the potential for actual friends. I didn't make them easily; I was shy, reserved, and more than a little awkward. I did better with computers and gadgets than I ever had with people.

But despite their initial excitement, one by one over the last 30 minutes they'd all texted to back out. So there I was, all alone in a loud and unfamiliar club on my 25th birthday.

I never should've even bought this stupid outfit, or bothered with makeup. It was all a waste of time. The thoughts tumbled through my mind, one after the other until it was all I could do to hold back the frustrated tears.

I stood up suddenly from the booth I'd been hiding in, ready to go home and eat my feelings. I stumbled out of the booth on the too-tall heels I'd put on, and regretted the decision to wear them even more now that the floor was rushing up to greet me in what would end up being a very painful and embarrassing collision. I closed my eyes tight and willed it to just be over already, bracing myself for the fall.

I jerked to a stop in midair, and my eyes popped open with surprise. I was hovering above the ground, the floor within reach of my fingertips. It took me a moment to realize that a pair of strong arms were holding me tightly, preventing the inevitable face plant I'd been headed for.

"Don't worry, I got you." The deep, male voice washed over me in a heat wave that I'd never experienced before in my life. The man's arms tightened around my waist before lifting me into an upright position, helping to steady me on my shoes. I watched in fascination as his arms loosened and his hands slid across my stomach to gently smooth my dress down around my hips.

The warmth cascading through my body increased, and the resulting throb in my pussy surprised me. I could feel the heat from his body behind me, and I could tell that he stood well over my average 5'6" height. His hands tightened on my hips and slowly turned me around so that we were now face to face.

I was still looking down, admiring the fit of his pantsuit on his thick legs, the material not able to hide the obvious muscles covered by the expensive material. My eyes began to travel up his body, widening with every inch they gained.

I knew nothing about fashion, but even I could tell that everything this man wore from the tips of his shiny black dress shoes, to the perfectly polished cufflinks winking in the fabric of his dark suit, to the white shirt that emphasized his build, cost him some serious money.

His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, giving me glimpse of skin that I suddenly wanted under my tongue. My eyes stopped there, frozen from all the images swirling through my mind. A chuckle rumbled through him and it was that that broke my stupor. My brain cleared slightly, and I realized with shame that I'd been staring at the man, not even thanking him for helping me.

I finally moved my gaze to his face, and my heart thudded in my chest. I had never in my life seen a more beautiful man. His jaw was strong, covered in a light beard that framed lips women pay good money for. His eyes were emerald green, framed with lashes that rivaled my own. Those eyes and lips captured me not only with their perfection, but with the satisfied pleasure they projected.

He pulled me forward, and suddenly he was sitting in the booth I'd just left with me across his lap. One of my hands splayed over his chest while my other arm snaked around his neck in order to balance myself, not wanting to make a fool of myself all over again.

His scent surrounded me as much as his arms did as he held me tight against him, my curves pressed against the tight muscles of his body. His touch was making my nerves ping in happiness, which surprised me since I usually hated being touched by strangers. My nipples were tightening, my pussy getting wetter by the second, and then he spoke again.

"Do I pass inspection?" I watched his mouth move, his words taking a minute to get through the haze of lust I was thrumming with. I blushed furiously, glad that it was dark in this club and that meant he probably couldn't see. I still tilted my head down, my long blonde curly hair obscuring my face from him.

Immediately, he spoke again. "Don't look away from me baby, I want to see those big blue eyes eating me up like they were before."

The command in his voice had me lifting my head back up before I even knew what was happening. My bottom lip made its way between my teeth, and his gaze narrowed on the movement, his chest rumbling with a sound I couldn't hear, but could feel vibrate through my body.

"Th-thank you. For helping me earlier, I mean." My voice was quiet, but he somehow heard me over the music blaring through the speakers. I was impressed with myself for being able to get the words out in the first place. I was so focused on the way his arms wrapped around my waist and kept me pressed against him that any real thoughts had basically been obliterated.

He moved one hand to brush some hair away from my face, then cupped my cheek gently. I nuzzled into the hand, enjoying the feel of his roughened palm against my soft skin.

"Fuck." I read the word on his lips, and a little pang went through me that I hadn't been able to hear it. An incredibly strong need for the feel of his lips filled me, and I leaned forward. In a move that was nothing like the usual, shy Y/N I was, I plastered my tits against his chest before I placed a light kiss on his mouth.

His arm around my back tightened, and the hand on my cheek slid back onto the nape of my neck, tangling in my thick hair. The move had me gasping, my breath blowing across his lips still touching mine.

What the hell was going on with me? I was not the kind of woman to cuddle up with a stranger. In a club. And then kiss him. I jerked back, struggling to move off him and escape.

"Please, don't go." His words made me freeze, although I couldn't bring myself to look at his face. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes from all the helplessness, loneliness, embarrassment, and anger from today taking over.

"We can go somewhere else, quieter if you want. Or we can stay here where you're surrounded by people. Just don't run away from me."

His words were soft, like he was talking to a cornered, frightened animal. I suppose that was very much what I seemed like right now, since that's how I felt. But the fact that he'd started off with please, and how he was willing to stay here where I was safely surrounded by witnesses, calmed me.

I turned back to take a peek at him, and his eyes were soft, yet burned with something I couldn't name. Just to test his reaction, I move slowly off of his lap. His hands tensed on me for a second, before he let out a reluctant sigh and let me go. I stood in front of him, and a wide smiled filled my face. I liked that he didn't seem to want to let me leave, but would if that's what I really wanted.

I held out a hand and he immediately took it, standing and wrapping his arms around me again. He moved his hands down over my ass and gripped me right below it, where the skin met my thighs. He lifted me up and I instinctively wrapped my arms and legs around him, burying my face into his neck. I felt a shiver go through him when I kissed the side of his neck.

With the smile still across my face, I moved my lips to his ear to whisper to him. "Let's get out of here."

Dean:

The moment she'd walked into my club, I had seen nothing else. I'd been sitting in my office on the upper level and just by chance had gotten up to look down onto the floor of the club I'd opened just over a year ago. It was doing even better than I'd anticipated, but over the last few weeks I'd felt nothing but boredom.

Watching the people dancing and drinking below me, a flash of gold near the front doors had caught my eye. My hands clenched into fists, my body going stiff as a board as my eyes swallowed up the female. Long, curly blonde hair tumbled around her as she made her way slowly across the floor. She stepped carefully in the tall gold heels that encased her feet, a perfect match for the dress that hugged every delicious curve of her body.

Something about the way she moved called to me, and I was heading to the floor before I could even think through what I was planning on doing when I got to her. All I knew was that my heart pounded in my chest, each thump accompanying a resounding mine in my head.

I got to the floor and searched the crowd, wishing I had waited to see where she'd been headed. It was so crowded, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to find her in the mass. I prowled along the edge of the dance floor, a weird feeling like desperation coming over me as my eyes roved back and forth.

I hadn't felt like this since I was a teen, struggling to find a way to survive. I'd come a long way since then; I owned a chain of clubs that were wildly successful, and had put money towards investments that had paid off handsomely. I hadn't been desperate for anything since landing my first job in high school and I didn't like feeling it now.

I was starting to think I'd gone crazy, seeing someone as perfect as the curvy woman in gold since I couldn't find her now. Just as the disappointment began to set in, that flash of gold caught my eyes once more. I zeroed in on that, pushing not-so-gently through the crowd to reach her.

When I finally broke through, I saw her sitting in a booth in the corner, her phone in her hands and screen lighting up her face. I drew in a sharp breath at the sight of her. I couldn't see as well as I wanted to, but I could see the way the thin straps of her dress pressed into her shoulders, the top of the dress barely able to contain her breasts. I could see the golden tone of her skin. Her plump, pink lips were shaped in a grimace on her face, and my hands twitched to reach out and smooth them for her.

She looked up from her phone and glanced towards the floor, and odd expression of yearning on her face. Her phone lit up in her hand again, and her forehead wrinkled further as she read.

Every iota of my being wanted to go over there and find out what was making her so upset, but I knew that I could be intimidating. I figure that a 6'5" tall man packed with muscle demanding to know what was wrong would more likely scare her than endear her to me.

So instead of going over there and hauling her into my arms, I took a seat at a nearby booth, hidden in the shadows so I could watch her without creeping her out. Over the next half hour I sat there and watched her face go through so many emotions even I was dizzy.

Anger. Frustration. Longing. My body tensed more with each new expression, the need to make her smile a living thing inside me. When I saw her features crumble like she was on the verge of tears, I knew I was done with waiting. I stood up to go over there and I worked on schooling my expression into one of friendliness. When I'd just about reached her booth, she tucked her phone into the small purse dangling off her wrist and stood up. She stepped down from the small rise, and I saw her ankle twist uncomfortably.

I knew she was going to go down, and I crossed the last few steps in a split second to catch her. I managed to get to her just in time, wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her against me.

My cock instantly went hard, the feeling of her ass against my crotch bringing desire roaring to the surface. I grit my teeth in effort to control the impulse to grind against her, and somehow managed. After a moment I was able to pull her up, steadying her on her wickedly spiked heels and turning her around but not letting go of her.

Her perusal of me excited and amused me, and her scent of roses and honey drifted into my nostrils, making me harder than steel. Then sitting her on my lap, watching her fascination with me play over her face, when she turned her face into my hand like she wanted it more than her next breath... I knew that there wasn't anything that was going to keep me from claiming her. Even when I let her pull away, I knew that she wouldn't be getting very far. She didn't know it yet, but she was fucking going to be mine.

I glared at anyone who dared look at us as I carried her across the dance floor, the feeling of her nuzzling my neck making my knees shake. I had to get her alone, before I started fucking her against the nearest wall. I turned the corner that led to the elevator only I had access to and pressed the button for the doors to open.

Just as I stepped into the elevator, her teeth nipped at the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder. I let out a sound of pleasure, the small bite nearly undoing me. No women had ever had the same power over me. The doors shut and I pressed her against the wall, a hand going into her hair and pulling her head back so I could get my first good look at her.

Her eyes were blue orbs calling to me, to the man in me who wanted nothing less than to completely possess her. I took in the flush in her cheeks, the way her dress reflected the gold in her skin, making her seem like a stolen ray of sunshine. The warmth radiating off her body and into mine through our clothes only further convinced me she'd escaped from that burning star.

"Who are you?" The question left my mouth in wonder, and her cheeks darkened before she looked away from me.

"No one special," she said with sadness in her voice.

I tugged on her hair sharply, a small gasp leaving her as I forced her to look at me. "Don't ever fucking say that again. I'll spank your ass until it's on fire if you ever say shit about yourself like that."

Her pupils widened at my words, and my instincts told me she liked the idea of my hand on her ass, even though it scared her a little. A small tremble went through her, and I pressed my lips against her cheek.

"Now, try again. Tell me who you are." I pulled away from whispering the words in her ear to watch her face. She swallowed roughly, but answered me.

"My name is Y/N." Her voice was raspy, like she rarely used it, with a hint of an accent. It was music to my ears.

"Y/N," I repeated, loving the feeling of her name in my mouth. The way she licked her lips made me think she liked it too. "My name is Dean."

"Dean," she breathed huskily. "It fits."

I grinned at her and nodded. "So I've been told."

I took a second to insert my key into the lock and finally pressed the button on the elevator to move us up. The ride was short and silent, but I didn't even think about putting her down. I liked having her in my arms, and she didn't protest so I was taking advantage of it.

The elevator stopped and I stepped off, heading towards my office. You could still hear the music and the crowd from up here, but it was muted significantly. Noticing the giant window where I'd been standing when she'd walked into the club, she let out a small gasp.

"That's quite the view," she said.

"I like being able to see what's going on." I walked towards it and set her down gently, her body rubbing against mine the whole way down and torturing me. I turned her towards the window and crowded behind her.

I knew there was no way she couldn't feel my dick pressed against her, but she didn't shy away or tell me to back off, so I pressed just a little closer. I heard a small moan leave her mouth and a satisfied smile filled my face.

"I was standing right here when you walked through those doors." I caressed her sides as I spoke, relishing in the way she leaned back into me, letting me do as I wished. "I haven't seen anything but you since that moment you caught my eye."

She drew in a breath and turned back slightly to look up at me. "That's crazy."

"Maybe. Or maybe I just know what I want when I see it."

Questions filled her eyes, and I knew that she was wondering why I'd focused on her. "I can't tell you all the answers baby, I just know that I feels right to hold you in my arms. There's something about you that hooked me from the very beginning. I can't just ignore that kind of feeling."

Her eyes searched mine, and she must have seen the truth burning there. She reached one hand around and placed it on the back of my neck, drawing me down towards her. As soon as our lips touched, the fire ignited.

In a second we were devouring each other, lips and tongues and teeth battling for a better taste of each other. My hands gripped her tight, the need to consume her overtaking everything.

She twisted slightly in my arms to get a better angle, and I crushed her to my chest. My hands roamed and gripped her ass tightly, grinding her slightly against my cock. She let out a small moan with every pass, and even rocked her hips into mine when I paused.

Pulling away from her mouth, our harsh breaths filled the air. "If you want to stop, you have to tell me now," I said. "I want to see you, taste you everywhere, tease and torture you until you're screaming my name. If that's not something you want, then say the word and I'll let you go."

It hurt to say the words, but I would stop if that's what she wanted. I'd let her go for now, but not forever. I'd give her time and space, but I would be coming after her.

Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about that.

"Please Dean, don't stop." She was shaking slightly, but her words were sure.

"Thank fuck," I said and captured her resulting giggle between our lips.

Kissing Y/N was like a revelation; like a taste of heaven for a fallen angel. A piece of my soul kicked into place the moment I'd touched her, and now it felt like it was going to explode from me.

Groaning, I pulled away again. A mewl of protest left her lips and I softly placed a finger on her lips.

"Hush, beautiful. I'm not going anywhere." I bent down and lifted her again, striding towards the plush couch against the opposite wall. I turned as I reached it, falling back so that I was sitting with her straddling my lap.

Her eyes roamed over my body, and I sat still to let her take it all in. "What's going on in the beautiful head of yours?"

She smiled lightly at my question, biting her lip. "You're so big," she whispered as she ran her hands down my torso.

"You haven't seen anything yet, babe." She flushed at my response, and I curled my hands around her thighs, pulling her closer. The beast inside me howled in pleasure at the way she felt under my hands, at the contrast between her lightly tanned skinned and mine. I could feel the heat between her thighs branding my lap as she instinctively rotated her hips on mine.

Her eyes went heavy, head tilting back when she rubbed against me. My hands on her thighs tightened, and little noises escaped her as she continued to grind on me.

"That's it little girl, take what you need from me. Grind that pussy on my cock like I'm inside you already."

"Oh god, Dean," she said breathlessly as she started to move a little faster.

"If I lifted you from my lap and looked at my pants, would I be able to see just how wet you are for me?" Her cheeks flamed with a mixture of embarrassment and arousal, but it didn't stop her from moving.

"Show me baby girl," I continued. "Let me see how bad you need me."

Y/N:

I could still feel the heat flaming my cheeks, but I wanted nothing more than to show him what he was asking for. I had no idea what alien had taken over my body and mind, and yet I wasn't going to argue with it. I mean, I wanted to get a little crazy for my birthday, and if this wasn't crazy then I had no idea what was.

With a determination that bolstered my nerves, I looked Dean right in the eyes as I leaned back, placing one hand on his thigh behind me. My other hand moved to the hem of my dress, lifting the skirt enough for him to see the white lace panties I had on underneath. I watched his pupils dilate as he took the sight in. He groaned aloud, the sound only making me wetter than before.

I watched as he reached forward and traced the wetness of my panties with one finger, my breaths coming more rapidly at the light touch. I wanted him to rip the panties off so he could touch me for real. I wanted him to claim me, brand me with his touch so that I'd never forget this night.

Not that it'd be easy to forget anyway. After all, I didn't have much experience with boys so it's not like I had anything to overshadow this experience. And by "much experience", I meant none. I hadn't even kissed a boy before tonight. Not for lack of curiosity, but I'd just never met anyone I was interested in enough to go there with. I hoped Dean wasn't able to tell how inexperienced I was; he wasn't complaining though so I was just going to keep going like I knew what I was doing.

"Goddamn Y/N, I can't wait anymore. I need to taste you." Suddenly, I was spinning around, falling against couch cushions and my legs spread wide over his shoulders. I hastily brushed my hair out of my face in time to see him drag my underwear off, a hunger in his eyes that made my insides clench with excitement.

I felt his fingers spread my pussy apart so he could see everything, and another wave of embarrassment flooded me.

"So fucking gorgeous," he breathed out reverently. The tone of his voice instantly calmed me, and in a move that surprised even myself, I reached down with one hand and traced my middle finger over my hard clit.

"Are you going to stare at me all night, or are you going to get a taste?" My voice was sultry, one I'd never heard before. I could hardly believe it was even coming from me.

A wicked laugh burst out from him and caressed my wet pussy. I jerked slightly at the feeling, and he knocked my hand away so he could have full access. Before I could blink, his mouth was on me. My back arched high, a loud cry leaving me at how good it felt.

"Oh my god!" The words were a loud, choked cry. His tongue lapped at my lips, licking up every drop of my wetness and leaving a trail of his own in its wake.

Goosebumps popped up everywhere on my skin, my nipples going diamond hard as his tongue moved up to the hard bud of my clit, flicking it rapidly and driving me to the edge so fast I was shocked.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me come," I moaned out. He pulled away slightly, meeting my hazy eyes for a moment before looking down at my pussy. I felt a finger trace around my pussy hole, the sounds of my wetness hot and thrilling at the same time.

"Feel free to come whenever my little slut," he said lazily. My nails scraped along the fabric of his couch and he bent back down, taking my clit between his lips and sucking on it at the same time as he pushed a finger inside. The combination of the pressure on my clit and the feeling of his finger in me, pressing on a sensitive spot on my inner wall had me climaxing without warning.

I screamed loudly, shaking in full-body spasms as the strongest orgasm of my life consumed me. I never even imagined I could feel like this- I'd read about orgasms like these in books but I figured they were all exaggerated. Holy fuck, had I been wrong.

Dean gently pulled his finger out of me, straightened up and then slowly moved my legs from his shoulders to the couch. I was breathing hard, staring up at him and by the wide grin on his face I could tell I had stars in my eyes.

"You liked that, did you?" His voice was teasing but rough, like he loved making me feel good but barely had a grip on himself.

"I loved it," I said, voice trembling. I sat up, then palmed his erection through his pants. A garbled sound left him as he threw his head back, and he quickly grasped my wrist to stop me from stroking him. I gave him a questioning look, and he shot me a smile.

"It feels too good. I don't plan on coming in my pants."

A thrill of wickedness ran through me. I pulled my hand out of his grip gently before running my hands up his chest.

"Where do you plan on coming, then? My hands? My tits?" I moved my hands to the straps of my dress, pulling them down and baring myself to him. "My mouth?" I moved to the edge of the couch, loving the way his eyes jumped around, trying to decide where to look first. I slid my arms around his neck and pressed my bare chest against his crisp white shirt, thrilling at the feeling. I leaned forward to whisper into his ear. "In my hot, tight, soaking wet pussy?"

A growl ripped out of his chest. Next thing I knew, I was standing on my feet, my dress and panties being ripped off my body in one harsh move. I was standing in front of Dean completely naked while he was still on his knees, still fully dressed. I felt vulnerable, but for some reason I knew I was completely safe with him.

"You want to tease me, little slut?" His hands grasped my hips and slid up my body, until he was cupping my heavy breasts in his large hands. His thumbs brushed my hard nipples, coaxing a moan from me as I stared at him with half-shut eyes. "Just be careful what you ask for."

"I know what I'm asking for," I quipped. "Are you going to give it to me or not?"

A sharp laugh burst out of him, and then he was standing, stripping off his clothes as well. I watched avidly as his smooth, muscled, tanned skin came into my view. I wanted to trace the ridges of his abs with my tongue, follow that little happy trail of hair that begged me to go down.

He unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, and then paused. I looked up to his face to see a glint of concern. Stepping forward and covering his hands with my own, I answered the unspoken question.

"Yes, I'm sure." I curled my fingers into the waistband of his slacks, and pulled down. I tilted my head down to get a good look, and I knew my eyes were as big as saucers when I murmured the first thing that came to mind. "Commando, why am I not surprised?"

He didn't answer, letting me look my fill. He was even bigger than he'd felt in my hand for the moment I'd gotten in, and I was a little worried it wouldn't fit. I was a virgin, and I'd never expected cocks to even get this big. He took his cock in his hand and stroked it up and down, and heat pulsed in me at the sight. A little bead of cum leaked out of the tip, and my tongue grazed my lips in desire to taste it.

"Fuck Y/N, you're going to make me come if you keep looking at me like that," Dean grit out.

"That's fine with me," I said in fascination.

"You look at me like you've never seen a cock before," he said as he moved his hand on his cock again like he couldn't help it.

I was hesitant to admit the truth, so I told a little white lie. "Never one this big."

"Jesus," he hissed out. Goosebumps trailed across my skin again at the sound of his voice, knowing he was close to losing control. Wanting to not just push him to the edge, but over it, an idea popped into my head as I glanced at the large window again. I started backing away from him, towards the window as I spoke.

"Can you imagine what it would feel like to fuck me with that big hard cock of yours while I'm pressed up against this window? How hard my nipples would be, tight against that cold glass? How anyone might be able to look up and see you pulling my hair back, my mouth wide open as I screamed your name while you spanked me?"

I knew my cheeks were red as cherries, but I hoped that if he could tell, he thought it was with passion and not from never having spoken out loud like this before. My back hit the glass, and I shivered at the cold.

I watched as he stalked towards me, his skin gleaming like midnight, a fierce look on his face. In that moment I truly felt like I was being stalked by a lion, his gait sure and steady as he came for me. My pussy throbbed in anticipation, and I lazily flicked my nipples just to see the way his jaw tightened. When he reached me, he grasped my shoulders and turned me, pressing my body tight against the glass, a hand in my hair forcing me to look down at the crowds below us. His cock pressed into my ass and I moaned at the feeling, moving my hips back against him.

"Does it make you wet to think that someone will see me fucking you? Does my little slut get off on the idea of being watched?"

"Yes," I gasped out, in tandem with the sting of his teeth nipping at my neck.

"Good. I want you to be wondering who's looking at you, taking in your tits pushed up against this glass, watching you come with my cock deep in your pussy."

The hand not in my hair trailed from my collarbone, going between my tits and moving down my stomach and brushing across the tiny strip of hair on my mound. His finger traced the line, and my hips jerked in response to the sensation.

"I thought I was going to explode when I saw this little path right to where I wanted to be," he commented like we had all the time in the world. I whimpered as his fingers moved lower, playing over my clit, slippery from my earlier orgasm.

He cupped my pussy, then pressed back so that my hips were tilted back, presenting my ass to him. The hand in my hair loosened and traveled down my spine, then palmed both cheeks, one after the other. A split second later, a sharp sound echoed in the room, and I registered the sting a moment later.

"Did you... just spank me?" I turned my head back to him, eyes big but and excited smile on my lips. He studied my face for a beat and then caressed the tender spot on my ass.

"Did you... like it?" He teased me, pausing just like I had, and I bit back the giggle that rose in my throat. I loved that he made me want to laugh just as much as he made me want to plunge myself down on his cock.

"I'm not sure, maybe you should try again."

He shook his head lightly, in amusement, before delivering his next command. "Turn back around, dirty girl, and let's find out."

I turned back to the glass, and as soon as my gaze hit the people below, his hand landed on my other cheek. The pain zinged through me, but was closely followed by sparkles of pleasure, a whole different kind than anything before. A strangled moan left me as I tapped my forehead on the glass, and I felt his dark hum of delight in my bones.

His hand that cupped my pussy moved lower, his two middle fingers pushing between my folds to feel just how wet he'd made me.

"My pretty little Y/N is a very dirty girl, I see." His two fingers teased at my dripping hole, and it was all I could do not to beg him to fuck me with them. I canted my hips back, rubbing against his cock and thrilling at the sound he made when I did. He knew what I was asking for, and he didn't wait long to appease me.

My heart stuttered at the sensation of him pressing those thick digits inside me, the first thing since one uncomfortable attempt with a vibrator. The same burning sting was there, but this time it was overshadowed by the absolutely incredible feeling of having Dean inside me, massaging and tweaking my nipples with the other hand. Every time he moved he hit a spot inside that made me jerk, eyes crossing from the pleasure.

I was completely overwhelmed. Every damn thing from the lingering pain of the spanking, to his cock subtly grinding between my ass cheeks, to his arm around me and fingers in me, his chest pressed tight along my back... I was being bombarded inside and out and I. Fucking. Loved it.

"Please, oh god, Dean," I panted as my thighs began to shake again. I couldn't form the words to beg him to give me what I needed, but he seemed to know what it was anyway.

"That it Y/N, I want you to come for me again. I want to feel this pussy tighten and come all over my hand. You won't get my cock until you give me this first. So come for me little slut, now."

A loud, keening cry flew out of me as I came apart around his fingers. I barely even registered his fingers sliding out, and his cock replacing them.

"Y/N, fuck," I vaguely heard him mutter in my ear as he thrust into my body. Tears gathered in my eyes, a mixture of the intensity and elation that this was actually happening. Although it was slightly painful, I'd expected it to hurt more.

He stilled inside me, and I concentrated on coming back from the high he'd sent me to. The first thing that registered was his lips on my neck, his arms banding me to him around my hips and torso.

He knew when I'd come back, and I felt his small exhalation of relief flutter in my hair.

"Did I hurt you?" His gentle question surprised me, shocked that he'd noticed much less cared. I figured not many guys would have.

"I'm okay," I responded in a raspy voice. "Please Dean, don't stop."

"God, you're fucking perfect. Where the hell did you come from?"

I let out a shaky giggle, my words breathless as he pulled out slowly. "Aren't you glad I came out for my birthday?"

"Fuck baby, it's your birthday?"

"Yeah. Best one ever," I responded. I punctuated the sentence with a loud groan as he pushed his cock right back into me.

"I think birthday girl needs another orgasm. What do you say?"

"Jesus," I groaned. "I'm not sure I can take another one."

He paused inside me, then grabbed my wrists and pulled them above my head, palms against the glass. He placed one hand lightly around my neck to hold me in place as he began fucking me in a steady pace. His other hand moved down and started to rub my clit in small circles. To my utter astonishment, I immediately felt another orgasm start to build.

"If I want you to come for me again, that's exactly what you're going to do. Got it, dirty girl?"

"Fuuuuck," was all I could say in response.

Dean:

Y/N was full of surprises. This woman was fucking hot, but she was also an intriguing mixture of shy and bold, with a little sass and humor threaded through her. I wanted nothing more than to be fucking her right now, but in my heart I knew I wasn't going to let this woman go.

Every thrust into her pussy solidified that. Every sound she made, every moan and cry and shout of my name, told me that somewhere inside her she knew it to. Now I just had to get her to admit it to herself.

Speeding up my thrusts, I clenched my teeth hard enough that I wondered if I'd crack one, trying not to come yet. I promised her one more orgasm, and damn it all if I wasn't going to make sure she got it.

After all, she'd given me her virginity. My cock swelled bigger inside her, blood rushing from my brain as that primal thought took over. As soon as I'd thrust into her, I'd known. Something about the way her voice changed, the way her body tensed up, some sixth sense I had for every small iota of her reactions had told me.

I wished she'd told me first so I could've been gentler, but I knew that if that was something she'd wanted she would have told me. I was going to bring it up after this was over, because that's not something I could let go... But for now at least, I was going to settle for proving to her that she hadn't made a mistake with that decision.

"Do you think anyone can see you right now?" I tightened my hand around her throat just enough for her to feel it there, and felt an answering squeeze of her pussy around my dick. I'd figured out that she loved the dirty talk, so I kept at it to make sure she got to that peak one last time.

"I bet if anyone's watching, they wish they were here. Somewhere out there a guy wants to take his cock out and stroke it to the sight of you getting fucked within an inch of your life. A woman's cunt is getting wet, wishing she were you, wishing it was her tits pressed against the glass and my hand around her throat."

She let out a rough snarl at that sentence, clenching her pussy so tight around me that I had to pause, screwing my eyes shut and counting in an effort not to come.

"Never. You're mine, no one else gets to have you." I could hear in her voice that her vehemence surprised her, but she wasn't taking it back. I didn't even try to hide the grin that split my face. I went back to fucking her, even harder than before. I hurried my fingers on her clit, and could feel her walls begin to ripple around me.

"That's right baby. I don't want anyone else. Other girls can watch, other guys can peek, but they'll never get to touch either of us. Because just as much as I'm yours, you're mine little Y/N."

That was all she needed. Like a bomb, she went off. Her scream would've been heard downstairs even over the music if this room wasn't soundproofed. I couldn't stop myself from following directly after her, and I held her tight in my arms as she came around me, my cock pouring its life inside her.

I somehow got us back to the couch, although I was in a haze as I did. I'd never come that damn hard in my life, and I was positive neither had she. I reached down beside the couch to grab my discarded suit jacket and placed it over her, nearly able to cover all of her. She curled into my chest, humming with delight at the warmth.

I pet her head, running my hands through her soft curls, wondering how to bring up what I wanted to say. I let out a big sigh, knowing I would just have to come right out and ask.

"You okay?" She lifted her head from my chest to look at me, concern furrowing her brow.

"I feel fucking amazing," I assured her. She smiled and settled back onto my chest. "Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?"

Her body froze, and I could practically hear her panicking in her head.

"Umm..."

"Hey, Y/N, Look at me." She slowly tilted her head back to meet my eyes, her face in a full blush. I lifted my head to place a soft kiss on her lips. "I'm not mad. I just... could've been gentler. I didn't want to hurt you."

She shrugged, biting her lip. "Honestly, I was worried you might stop if I said anything. And I didn't want that. It didn't hurt as much as I was expecting, anyway." The corner of her mouth tilted in a grin. "I think the fact that you got me so wet I probably leaked onto your carpet helped a bit."

My cock twitched under her tummy, and a shocked laugh fell from her lips.

"Well when you talk about being that wet, what do you expect? That thing has a one track mind, babe."

She burst into a fit of giggles, burying her face in my chest. My heart expanded, warmth coating me at the sound. I waited until she caught her breath to talk about the one last thing I had on my mind.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?"

"I meant what I said. I don't think I can ever let you go."

She looked up at me again, a huge grin on her face, happiness obvious. "Good. I don't plan on going anywhere soon."

"Thank fuck," I breathed out.

"In fact," Y/N continued, sitting up on my lap, my jacket curled around her shoulders. I drew in a breath at the sight, my cock beginning to harden again at the simple eroticism. "This birthday girl is in need of a little dessert."

Her eyes zeroed in on my growing cock, and a groan left me when I realized what she meant.

"Ever sucked a cock before, little slut?"

She shook her head, bottom lip caught between her teeth. Her hands moved forward and grasped me, lightly sliding up and down. My head fell back against the arm of the couch, the feeling so damn good.

"Will you teach me, Dean?"

"Oh Y/N," I said, "I'll teach you anything you want to know, and things you didn't know you wanted to learn. This is just the beginning."

Her eyes shined bright with excitement and true happiness. My heart skipped a beat, and I knew this girl was it for me.

"Happy Birthday, my little slut."

THE END

[a-tale-of-two-comics]

Just wondering when I can read part 7 of I can't save her?👉👈😗

Hey love! I don’t know why @supportTumblr hasn’t responded to my message yet about re-instating the post. They apparently flagged a gif, that they deemed offensive... even though the people had clothes on :| anyways, in the mean time -- here is the chapter while we wait for them to hopefully respond to them:

I Can’t Save Her: Part 7

The following weeks began to fall into a routine. Bucky and Steve were mainly gone on missions. No one would talk about what they were actually doing, and they didn’t seem overly willing to give any information to the group. Bucky was particularly mercurial which wasn’t anything new – usually I would confront him about it and snap him out of it, but I felt like his kiss and subsequent behavior put me at a disadvantage, and I spent most of my time actively trying to avoid being alone with him. I was exasperated and more than ever I felt completely alone. What made the situation even worse was the fact that Steve wouldn’t look me in the eyes which told me more than I ever needed to know.

One night I awoke screaming out, drenched in sweat, and trembling. “Ms. Y/N is there a way I can assist you?” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice permeated the darkness in my room. Tony had programmed F.R.I.D.A.Y. to respond to any type of distress – he said it was for the safety of the team in case a situation ever happened, but I knew it was really his way of looking out for me. In many ways we were alike – we struggled silently with our demons.

“Just find me something that will comfort me, please,” I responded to the bodiless voice.

“Waking Sargent Barnes,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded. Before I could protest I could already hear Bucky walking down the hallway and opening my door.

“Y/N?” he asked hesitantly as my bed shifted under his weight.

“I’m afraid F.R.I.D.A.Y takes my sarcasm seriously,” I replied meekly as I peeked at him through my eyelashes. “I’m okay… you should go back to bed.” It was quite apparent that I was not okay, but I still put on my best stubborn front.

“No,” he replied softly as he moved the covers to slide under them. I could immediately feel his warmth around me and it silenced my protests. My iciness towards him melted as he wrapped his arms around me. It was like being home when we had these moments, but now part of me tried to actively resist the comfort he provided. My subconscious was trying its damnedest to keep me from suffering further. I looked at him and realized I hadn’t noticed how tired and strained his face had looked since we had last spent time together. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked through my hair.

I gritted my teeth. “No,” I replied stubbornly.

He snorted into my ear. “Why do you have to be so stubborn?” At this my anger peaked and I managed to squirm out of his embrace.

“Me? Stubborn?... You kissed me, and then you disappeared on me. Why…why would you do that? If you thought it was a mistake… you should have just told me. Don’t throw away the friendship we have. I know you’ve talked to Steve about something… he won’t even look at me. Now I have Tony taking time to program F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take care of me…” I broke off with an angry huff.

Bucky paused and looked at me earnestly, “I’m sorry… I..” he stopped. He looked pained— like he was torn between wanting to tell me the truth and wanting to stay away.

“What is it that you’re not telling me?” I asked trying to keep my voice even.

He looked away from me and began running his hands through his hair. “I was so fucking terrified Y/N.”

“Terrified of what?” I asked impatiently.

“Of losing you,” he said pinning me under his gaze. His eyes showed so many emotions. Pain, urgency, sadness, and a desire to say all the things he had held back from me. “I’ve lost everything in my life that ever mattered. HYDRA took away my life, my choices, and everyone I ever cared about. My parents died thinking that their son died a war hero… when I was turned into a monster.... And then Steve found me and brought me back from the edge. He brought me here against my better judgment and I thought to myself that maybe this wouldn’t work…. maybe I’m always going to be a monster, and then you show up and you’re so perfectly imperfect… and you see me not as a monster… not as what I am capable of… not as a machine or a weapon. You see me. Just me.” He paused as I stared at him dumbfounded. “I knew you were mad at me the night that you got back from the party with Tony…. That’s why I tried to take care of you from a distance…” he broke off.

“That was you?” my voice came out more like a whisper. I was still processing all the things he had just confessed to me. The suddenness of his honesty made me feel dizzy. “The mission?” I asked. My thoughts were in fragments and I was finding it increasingly difficult to form words.

He diverted his eyes from me and his whole body tensed. “I can’t tell you doll. I’m sorry. I truly am. But it’s for your own good that you don’t know...” he trailed off.

“You get that I don’t need you to protect me from the world, right Buck?” Even as I was saying it I realized it was much harsher than I meant for it to be.

Bucky flinched at my words but found his resolve and looked up at me. “I am perfectly aware that you can take care of yourself. It doesn’t mean you should have to all the time,” he said through his teeth. I could tell his emotions were teetering on the edge of anger. “Some battles aren’t yours to face, Y/N. You’re too busy carrying everyone else’s burdens to even have a second of joy. And more than anything I want to give you joy. For the first time since I fell off that train… since HYDRA…  you’ve given it to me,” he continued with such urgency and emotion that I was afraid his metal hand would crush the headboard it was now clenching. He paused for a moment and finally whispered, “I care about you, and it scares me. It scares me for you because everything good that I touch turns to shit.”

“It was about you…” I responded quietly – looking at my upturned palms. Bucky looked at me – shocked out of his thoughtful monologue.

“What?” he said puzzled at first and then realization spread across his face.

“I dreamt that we were happy and you walked away from me… or you were ripped away… The dream varies each time I have it,” the words were bitter on my tongue. This particular nightmare had been playing on loop for days. Every night I had him ripped from me by unknown forces that I couldn’t control or fight. It was my own personal hell. It insured that I always woke up with a broken heart. “And it was like my heart had been ripped from my body…” I paused, looking up at him. My words came out as a small whisper, “I know you think you need me James, but what you don’t know is how much I need you. I know I have the others… but without you I don’t feel like I belong here. You were there when the others weren’t. You’re the only one that knows the things I love. You’re the only one that knows the things I fear, or how my past still haunts me.”

He was hesitant. It was one of the few times I had seen actual fear on his face. My fingers ached to touch him as I relaxed back into his embrace. His hold on me tightened at I traced his jaw with my finger lightly. This time it was my turn to take him by surprise. I couldn’t hold myself back – not after we had both laid our truths bare in front of the other. His answering kiss was reluctant at first – he was trying so desperately to hold himself back – to grasp his last shred of self-control. Slowly his resolve melted as I twisted my fingers in his hair and pulled him closer. His hands travelled down my body erupting every nerve as they went.  Suddenly his self-control snapped back into place and he broke away from the kiss – leaving us both breathless. He grinned at me shyly and pulled back slightly with an admiring look on his face. “So do you forgive me?” he asked – the humor fading from his face.

“You have to promise me something first,” I said.

“What would that be, doll?” he asked with a spark of triumph in his eyes. His revelation to me seemed to have lifted an invisible burden from him.

“You promise me, James Buchanan Barnes, that we’ll always be honest to each other. The only way you will ever lose me is if you push me away.”

His face lit up into a dazzling smile – the kind that made the corners of his eyes crinkle. “I think that’s certainly a promise I can keep. Will you promise me something in return?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of course.”

“Promise me you’ll be patient with me. Promise me you won’t leave,” his voice was sweet – like a child making his parents pinky swear there wasn’t a monster under his bed.

“I promise,” I replied and kissed him softly.

“Now… speaking of patience… let’s maybe just use this bed for sleep tonight,” he sighed as he snuggled closer to me.

“Whatever you say James.” I snuggled into his arms sleepily as he sighed with contentment. I felt a cautious happiness rise inside of me. I knew I was treading on dangerous ground, but for the time being we were both happy and I had him back. I wasn’t about to throw myself into worrying about the future – not yet at least. I yawned and slowly drifted back to sleep.

God I wish I had worried about the future.

[parkbearum]

Tantrum

Requested by anonymous*

Swearing, angst, smut

Sehun X Reader

“The desire remained real, his eyes traveled on her figure while all she did was to stay around....”

(A month ago)

You sighed, frustration obvious in your eyes while he walked up and down the room. The urge to scream at his angry face took over your body while you were practically shaking from the built anger you had in you. This argument was a two-way street in which you were far away from him.

You didn’t want to cry, that would be giving him what he wanted. This was an argument built by the small things, things you both either ignored or things that kept you awake at night. The problem was that he didn’t want to listen, he didn’t want to adjust a few things in his life so that you could stay, so you took off.

Grabbing your bag from the king-sized bed, you put a few things you owned, things you didn’t want in his hands. You looked at the man you loved, he mattered to you but you didn’t think it was the other way around, he was simply dull to you now because of a few small things and if he couldn’t handle that much, he couldn’t handle anything.

You looked at him once more, he knew it was over. All that shouting, explaining and trying to calm down drained all your energy but something was still on his side on your heart, you looked at him bitterly. All the sweet mornings and all the small kisses didn’t make it work, it was the effort he so badly didn’t want to put in and left you no choice.

“Are you going to work around it?” you breathed out, your voice was low like the amount of hope you put in the man before you.

He didn’t answer, he didn’t need to. You had asked a question you knew the answer to and as pathetic and needy as that might be, you wanted to hear him say yes, so many times because you had a last bit of hope, something that stuck with you after all the kisses given that made you believe in him but not anymore, so you headed out of his place.

The hurtful things said in the last hour dawned on you, it was a bitter moment you so badly wanted to pass. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not like this. You didn’t want it to end like this, all the morning love and breakfasts, the dinner parties and book readings were all memories you were so fond of.

But like anything good, this was ought to end, too. You left the area with a heavy chest, this wasn’t fair or good but it had happened, you needed to go with the flow of you wanted to stay alive and so you decided to move in, try to heal and ignore the bitterness the break-up left you with.

(The present)

The grand place blinded you by the lights while you took the hand of your valet. With a smile on your lips, you held your dress in one hand while walking in the valet’s arms. A bunch of women came to your vision, all accompanied by the valets of the hotel.

You thanked the kind man before making your way into the entrance of the hotel. It was a dinner party you were invited to by one of your artist friends and it was fancier than you had expected, you thanked yourself for dressing a little more fancy today and gave the man at the front a smile before he let you in, checking your name on the list.

There were eyes on you, you could feel them. It wasn’t everyday you looked like this, with your silky dress and flattering make up, you walked towards the bar and a few man on the hunt for someone followed you. You had dealt with this before, although it felt weird because it was only recently that you had been able to go out like this, the healing process of letting someone go was harder on you than you had thought.

It had been roughly a month now, it was a struggle you didn’t want in your life in most mornings. Letting someone you love out of your life was easy, getting him out of your mind was the tough part. It hurt you a little still, knowing how little he tried after saying how much he loved you, his words didn’t go together.

You ordered a drink, sighed and smiled at the gentlemen next to you. He was a charming looking men, sharp in his dark green suit while he approached you. You didn’t want anything right now, not even a small fling didn’t attract you so you walked towards the center of the room, your eyes searched for your friend while you kept on a smile to greet the unfamiliar faces.

But then you saw a familiar face and it wasn’t your friend.

Something in your throat felt suffocating while you locked eyes with him, you mouth dried up. What was he doing here? You had managed to keep him off your life by not going to places you knew he would be around, now here he was. You didn’t flinch before you saw your friend, gracefully walked towards her while his eyes were on your figure.

You had worked hard, to keep him out of your mind and life and you weren’t going to ruin this, that would just be so hurtful to yourself. You gave your friend a hug before being introduced to a bunch of people, all smiles and soft talks while you were at her side, never leaving it because the thought of him approaching you panicked you a little.

You weren’t afraid of what might happen but after banning him out of your life for the last month, the thought of seeing him or talking to him again just felt uncomfortable. You made your way to the bathroom after an hour of talking to different people around the party, whether it was about investments or the simplicity of mainstream things.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, deciding to leave after a few hours in your head before walking out. Fate had never been on your side, neither was destiny so you weren’t shocked when you saw him in front of the men’s bathroom. Your eyes met his, you ignored all that you saw in there and gave him a small smile before walking away until he talked, loud and clear.

“It’s been some time.” he said, there was a sentiment you missed at his tone, something that felt like home.

You turned around to face him, holding your clutch in one hand while the other remained next to you. He was wearing a dark red suit, no tie and a few buttons undone until you could see the beginning of his torso. He was wearing a few silver necklaces that matched with his earring, he looked fine.

“I suppose, yeah.” you said, nodding while speaking. You wanted to get out of the conversation but he acted first.

“I’ll find you in the crowd.” he winked before entering the bathroom.

You didn’t know if that was him letting you go, saving you the excuse of the conversation you were about to have or the opposite where you’d be dragged by him to conversations until you put a stop on them.

You didn’t care, either way you wanted to get out of here soon. You couldn’t go now because you had made a promise to your friend to keep her company for long. Sighing, you sipped the alcohol out of the small glass before putting it down, about to ask for another one from the bartender.

“Two shots,please.” you heard the familiar face, too fast for you to comprehend but he was there.

You felt his body close to yours while the usual charm did its thing. You gave him a smile, not resisting because you knew what that did to him. He smelled of vanilla and cigars as usual, a smell you so badly craved when you were with him.

He wasn’t a toxic man, just a little to unbothered. The relationship you two had was good but not enough, you didn’t mind the long working hours he had or his grumpy moods at night but the tiny amount of effort he put in the relationship was too much, you had that much self-respect to leave him.

“How’re you darling?”he asked, still close while you decided to play the game he was playing, put on a mask and go with the flow.

“I’m doing good.”you said, gulping the last bit of the shot while he intently watched you in your best element, this was a daring you he hadn’t seen before.“How about you,sweet plums?”you said, already a little drunk from all the cocktail you had during the last hour.

He was pleasantly surprised at you. He had his own feelings too, things that kept him awake at night and how he could’ve done way better with you but there he was, admiring and staring at you like the usual. He was already surprised that you were there but it was a pleasant one while he watched you suck the olive from the small stick carefully.

This was a small game of who was doing the best after the break-up and you were more determined to win than he was. You were alright and he needed to see that, you needed him to see that and slowly, he did.

He saw your healed pieces that night, places in your soul where he had left a wound were all scars now, healing slowly but still apparent. He didn’t like it because in his thoughts, you were the one desperately trying to get rid of everything and still feeling horrible whereas in real life, it was the opposite.

Through the night, drinks and looks were exchanged between the two of you and you hadn’t felt more alive in a long time. There he was, feeling bad because of how well you had taken care of yourself in the past month and it was a pleasure for you to watch.

When you were ready to go home, you slowly made your way towards the exit, a little drunk and just when you were about to stumble and fall, a hand caught your arm. You looked up to see his not so amused face, he didn’t look at you but rather helped you walk to your car, you liked how different he was now, out of a relationship.

You were seated and ready to leave when he sat next to you on the car, your eyes met his in a questioning manner before he spoke. “I’m not about to leave you like this, you can’t even get to your apartment.” he said, addressing your drunk state but you thought he had better things to do as he always said.

Your vision was clouded, so was your mind and you didn’t want to ask any questions, you were tired of questioning every move he made to the point where all you did was to predict his next move, for once you just sat there next to him and watched the city pass by through your window.

The ride was quiet, his body didn’t touch yours and there was only the audible loud breaths you took in. He wanted to hold your hand, to tell you he had been missing you, looking for you in familiar places and sometimes staring at empty walls because he was simply mad at himself for letting you go, all harsh feelings aside.

You soon found yourself in front of your apartment door, he had accompanied you until here, made sure you drove the elevator safely. You giggled and unlocked the door, standing right by its side because he couldn’t come any further, he shouldn’t come any further.

You stood there, looking at his eyes and for the first time ever since you last saw him, there was sincere regret in his eyes. Maybe he didn’t want things to end like this either, with your blurry state, this whole thing became so unnecessary. You looked at him once more, ready to let of things.

But it all happened so fast, so quick. His lips were on yours while your back pressed against the cold door, you moaned into the kiss, you had missed his velvet kisses while his tongue explored your mouth. His hands roamed around your body, two bodies fitting each other like the missing part of the puzzle while your hands found his hair, exploring the so familiar silky locks he had once again.

Maybe it was your half drunk state or the beautiful night you were living but this felt right, something you had been craving ever since he left. While his kisses got deeper, you slowly moved to the bedroom, stumbling upon a few objects on the way. When your back hit the mattress, it was a sigh that left your lips and he was all over you again.

Slowly undressing you, he saw the person he missed the most in the last month. This was his first break-up that ended like this, leaving him confused and angry but now you were smiling against his lips while he removed your dress, knowing your body too well.

You reached to grab his face, planting kisses along his jawline while his hands worked their magic on you. Your slow moans filled the room while he caressed your lower body, exploring your thighs. His soft hands slowly traveled to the upper parts of your body, making tingles arise all around your skin.

Soon, the mattress hit the wall, creating a mark with removed paint while all your mind could make out was small sounds, telling him to keep going while your bodies became one, you felt his every move and every inch of his skin. Your small whimpers became moans while his body held you tight, close while stars appeared in your vision.

Soon, both of you were done. You slowly regained your breath, feeling a little bit of guilt but also some warmth on your chest. He planted kisses along the lines of your body, getting every bit because he didn’t know if this would be the last time. Your hands remained on his broad shoulders while he stayed, hovering above you while the only sounds you could hear was his lips against your skin.

Maybe this was it, the long hours spent trying to figure out what was missing before you actually lost it. You sighed, feeling his body on top of yours while he laid on top this time, like a child who just got too tired.

You didn’t say anything, neither did he and you both didn’t need to. Maybe this would be it, long hours would be spent together now and you didn’t mind that or maybe this would be a one time thing, either way, the moon was on your side.

♡

*Thank you for this request and I apologize if it took too long!

[isthisthingeven0n]

before I fall : v.s

though it may be more david based in the end, it is more of a vlog squad piece (not all members I’m afraid, just a few!)

hopefully, this all makes sense. she is reliving the same day, over and over again. she doesn’t understand why she wakes up on cupids day every morning, but she is determined to find out why and end the loop.  this is based on the movie before I fall. thank you to @vxlentinehood for all the information that was necessary for this piece.  also, thank you to the anon who requested, it’s a long one so you might want a hot drink for this! obviously, characters are changed, and the details might not be identical to the movie, so just bare that in mind - I hope you enjoy! :)

masterlist (with less long pieces, I promise they’re not all this long lmao)

Opening my eyes I struggle to contain the heavy pants as I look around. Feeling the fabric between my fingertips I let out a silent sigh of relief.

Silk between my fingertips, walls of white with the same photos. 6:30am. Cupid’s day. Again.

For the past few days, I’ve been reliving the same day, over and over again. It’s a twisted nightmare that always ends the same way- I die. And once I open my eyes I’m back in my own bed waiting for my brother to come and annoy me until I get out of bed and head to school. 

The same events happen automatically. I get picked up by Kristen, we talk until we get Carly and our last stop is Corinna. 

Once we get to Corinna’s house she has to flash us and we let her in the car. They all laugh, I once did too. But that’s the thing about reliving the same day over and over, things that should be funny aren’t, they’re merely reduced to a forced smile or a small scoff instead. 

We go to school, Todd always tries to make a move on one of us before David invites us to his party as he gifts me a rose. Its always the same rose, a sweet perfect red rose. His smile is sweet, the nervous glint in his brown eyes as he quickly walks away as Corinna wraps her arm around me, pulling me in the opposite direction for lunch. 

“Watch out, there’s the freak.” Corinna tries to whisper, but she hisses the words instead as the others laugh. 

Glancing behind my shoulder I watch as Liza sits down at her own table, no one else to join her. She keeps her eyes locked on her food. She knows to at this point. “Does she even own a hairbrush, I mean come on.” Carly comments and Kristen agrees and mimicks Liza trying to brush her hair but failing miserably. 

They turn to me, waiting for me to say something like I normally do, but Liza is sat in silence. “Well, Y/n?” Corinna says, turning her body to face me as she raises her eyebrow. 

“Why do we hate Liza so much?” I ask as I look out of the corner of my eye, seeing her sat picking at her food, barely eating anything. 

Carly deadpans and Kristen scoffs lightly. “Because she’s a freak?” Kristen states and the others laugh. This is my cue to stop asking and continue with the rest of the day until the party tonight. 

*

Walking in I can already smell the growing odour of our inevitable doom or more so my own. Everyone here is holding a red cup in their hand to prove their ability, that age doesn’t define them. 

Corinna keeps a hold of my hand as we near Todd and Scott. Todd turns once his eyes roam over my body, and his hand is resting on my waist as he smirks down at me. 

Every time that same smirk. The smirk that tells me tonight is the night. I’ve listened to the same advice Corinna gives me on the way over. How to please him and how he can do the same for me. She slips a condom in my bag and Todd knows. He thinks it’s going to happen, but it never does. 

“Wanna go somewhere more private, babe?” Todd whispers into my ear, kissing my lobe as he finishes his question. 

I once hid the moan that escaped my lips, but now I’m immune to his touch. “I think I’m going to get a drink,” I respond and slip out from his touch and head towards the kitchen, unaware of Corinna following behind me. 

“What the fuck was that?” She spits the words with such surprise as she leans against the counter whilst I pour myself a drink and down the bitter liquid, feeling the slow burn down my throat. 

I shrug my shoulders at her and she scoffs loudly. “I wanted a drink, C. There’s no crime in that.” I respond. 

This argument has had numerous outcomes. One is that we leave the party early, Liza is left unharmed but we still get hit by the truck due to traffic holding us up. 

Another is that I end up in the bedroom with Todd, but Kristen bursts in saying Corinna is arguing with Liza outside. We leave, Liza runs away and we get hit by the truck. 

The other outcomes always end with us leaving the party, I don’t sleep with Todd. We all die and I wake up and it’s 6:30am on Cupids Day. 

“But come on, it’s Todd, Y/n.” She states as if he is some magnificent creature. 

He glances over from the other room and bits his lower lip between his teeth as he looks at me. I smile back at him before looking back to Corinna.��“I, I just don’t know if he’s the right guy.” I admit it, knowing how this will all end. 

“Come on, Todd is the kind of guy everyone wants to be with and he likes you. You can’t pass on this, it’s your first time.” She is pressuring me, just like she has done before. 

She pressured me into my first kiss, my first drink, a lot of my firsts are down to Corinna being by my side. But she isn’t getting this one, not tonight. “Just drop it, C. I’m going to find Carly.” I tell her, passing her and heading in the opposite direction Todd is and head towards the garden. 

As I stand outside, breathing in the fumed air I check my phone. 8:36pm. I have a few more hours to try and fix it all. I want to wake up and it be Saturday tomorrow. 

Sighing loudly I barely hear him come up behind me. “Hey, I didn’t think you were going to make it.” Of course, it’s David. 

The sweet guy I want to end up with, the kind of guy who I am not worth. Letting out a small laugh I cross my arms, trying to keep warm. “Yeah, Corinna wanted to come and a party is a party, right?” I try to joke, but I can tell he’s focusing on my lips as they move. “I, erm, do you have a hoodie or something I could slip on? I’m freezing.” I mutter and turn to face him. 

His brown eyes suddenly snap and a small smile forms on his face. “Yeah, yeah sure.” His mind kicks into gear as I follow him towards his own bedroom, passing Corinna and Todd as I go without a second thought. 

Sitting in his room I admire all of his cameras, the collection he keeps along with the artwork he displays. “I didn’t know you were into cameras.” I say as I stand up, my fingers gliding across the lens’ he has lined up on a shelf. 

David turns and clears his throat. “Yeah, I, I want to produce something someday.” He says as he picks up a small lens, fiddling with it in his fingertips. “Not sure what, but I want it to mean something, tell a story.” 

“I have an idea,” I say quietly as his door remains shut, the rest of the world shut out for a little while, for a few minutes at least. “what about a story of a girl who lives the same day of her life, over and over again.” 

I watch as he raises his eyebrow and places the lens down, leaning against the shelves like I do. “I’m intrigued,” 

“She wakes up on the same day every day suddenly. And, and at the end of the day, it ends the same. She dies and wakes up again on the same day at the same time.” I begin to ramble, but he doesn’t mind. He’s watching me closely, tilting his head to the side, brushing his brown curls out of his face. 

“And no matter what she does?” He asks.

“She still dies and wakes up, reliving the same day.” I move closer and he does too. 

“Does she do anything different each time?” He licks his lips and bits his lower lip, just like Todd does. Except this time it does affect me, it sparks a reaction that I can tell he likes. 

“She tries different things, gets closer with certain people.” I whisper as I glance down to his lips and back up to his big eyes zoning in on mine. 

“But they won’t remember it happened when the day resets itself?” He mumbles as he breaths on my lips lightly. 

“I guess not.” 

Closing my eyes I feel his hands resting on my waist whilst mine lie flat against his chest. His lips ghost mine, and before I finally have the chance to kiss the right guy the door bursts open. 

“Y/n, it’s Corinna. She’s humiliating Liza.” Kristen yells out and I snap out of my moment with David, mumbling an apology as he remains frozen, still in the moment whilst I’m torn away from it. 

Kristen drags me towards the living room where a circle of people stand with their phones up high, filming the event in all angles, for all social media outlets that are available. 

“Oh Liza, Liza, Liza.” Corinna circles around her whilst she remains perfectly still, her eyes locked on her shoes. “You really think people wanted you to come here? If you got invited it was to make fun of you like we always do.” She laughs loudly and Liza flinches at the sound. “You’re pathetic. A pathetic weirdo who has no friends. No one wants you here, you’re better off dead.” 

Before I can interfere she takes a hold of Todd's drink and pours it over Liza who whimpers as the liquid drips down her. 

She lifts her head as everyone laughs, phones flash from every direction. But her eyes lock with mine before she leaves, running out of the house and out of sight. 

Corinna turns around, crossing her arms as she tilts her head to me. “We better go, I told my Mom we’d be home by 12.” She says, barely looking at me before she looks up at Todd who tries to catch my eye. 

I follow her out, glancing back seeing David stood there, holding a hoodie for me. Smiling back at him I give him a small wave as I follow Carly and Kristen out. 

Closing the car door I sigh loudly, but no one talks until we’ve pulled away. We drive along the empty streets, the deserted roads lining the woods as Corinna’s lights are the only things illuminating the road in front of us. 

“I mean, of all the things you could do Y/n. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Ditching Todd and being with David? David, the dork who invited us in the first place?” Corinna scoffs and I remain quiet, focusing on the road ahead. 

Maybe this was it. I broke it off with Todd, I nearly had a moment with David. Maybe that was what how it is supposed to be, realising I have more self-worth than being with a fuck boy like Todd. 

Looking at my phone I see the time and let out a sigh. “Watch the truck.” The words leave my lips automatically at this point. 

“What truck?” Carly asks again, the same response. 

I close my eyes as I hear the horn and feel the bright lights on all of us, waiting for the impact. 

*

Gasping I sit upright. 

Silk bedding. 

Warmth. 

6:30am. Cupid’s Day. 

Again. 

 “Okay, self-worth not the objective after all.” I mutter as I climb out of bed, feeling the exhaustion kicking in thinking about today all over again.

*

Waking up I glance around, I’m here. Again. 

Yesterday I tried to do everything they wanted me to do. I followed the usual order of events. I spent the evening with Carly and Kristen, talking for the most part. 

It was all fine. 

I didn’t talk to David, I left him to be despite what happened the last time. Something he’ll never remember. 

And then Corinna embarrassed Liza, and David kicked everyone out. 

We drove home, and then the truck hit us. 

Sighing loudly I hear my door open and my little brother runs in and jumps on my bed. 

He is so sweet, so full of life. “Mom says you have to get up.” He whines and I place my hand on his small face. 

“I have some advice for you kid,” I tell him as I move to sit upright. “if anyone ever gives you crap, don’t listen to them. You’re here, and you’re you for a reason. Okay?” I explain, but I can tell it isn’t sinking in. 

“Okay, but Mom still wants you downstairs for breakfast.” He says before climbing off my bed and running out of the room. 

Standing by the bottom of the stairs I hear my Mom singing lightly to the radio. Dad must’ve already left like he normally does at 5am without a single sound. 

“Hey, Mom?” I speak up and she turns around, diverting her attention from the pan of pancakes. 

She walks over, giving me a tight hug. “You alright, sweetie?” 

“I, I think I’m going to stay home today.” I tell her and she places her hand on my forehead and mumbles to herself before turning around and pours me a glass of juice. 

“You do feel a little warm. I’ll phone the school for you, just rest up.” She smiles sweetly like she always does. 

I think that’s something I got from her, the warm smile that tells you everything will be alright. It doesn’t matter that I might be going insane, or that I could be trapped in my own hell. Nothing matters when she smiles at me like that, it all melts away.

Sitting in my room I see my phone lighting up, notifications flooding through from everyone. 

corrina - you’re still going to go tonight right? 

todd - hey babe, hope you feel better tonight ;) 

kristen - hope you are okay, I’ll miss you!x

Closing my phone I leave it alone and head downstairs once I’m dressed. “Hey, Mom?” I call out and she turns around. “Can we go to the beach? I really would like to get some fresh air, an spend time with you.” 

As Mom parks, I step out from the car. She always parks on the top of the cliff as the sea breeze is the strongest at this point. You can see nothing but water from up here, how it collides with the cliff faces and the lagoons below. 

It’s one of the more relaxing spots I have. It is somewhere I can forget everything, I can forget dying over and over. I’m allowed to not think about everyone. I don’t have to tell Corinna I’ll consider sleeping with Todd. I don’t have to listen to them all being horrid to Liza. I can be me, just myself in this moment. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Mom comments as I sit on the bonnet of the car, the sea breeze curling in my hair. 

Sighing loudly I budge over, making room for her. “I just want to be a decent person, but it feels like no matter what I try I, I keep finding myself in the same position again and again.” I don’t move my focus from the waves crashing into each other, but I can feel her eyes on me. 

“Honey,” It’s that tone, the one that will tell me I’m a good person and everything will be okay. “you have your whole life to decide who you want to be,” Except it’s not that tone. It sounds an awful lot like it, but she’s being completely honest. “and whatever happens now won’t matter in a few years. I know you mean well, and I grew up with girls like you and it all works out. High School is hard and if it were easy life wouldn’t be how it should be.” 

She wraps her arm around me and we sit there for a while in silence. A relaxing moment where I can allow my mind to switch off and enjoy being here, a break of the same day. 

“I think I’m going to stay home tonight, watch a movie with you.” I suggest and she pulls away, smiling. 

“Oh I’d love to, but I told your Dad we’d have friends over as both you and your brother are out.” I completely forgot about that. 

I’ve been so wrapped up in myself I never considered asking my Mom how she is, how things are for her. Is Dad okay in his job, how are you feeling about the long days without him. She has a thick skin, hiding anything that really affects her. But at this moment I can tell it’s all getting too much. She needs this as much as I do. 

“Sorry, that completely slipped my mind. I hope you have a good time though.” I tell her before we climb back in the car and drive home so she can start dinner and I can get ready for the party, once again. 

*

When Corinna arrives she is frazzled. “You okay, C?” I ask as I climb in the car, but rather than say anything she shakes her head. 

“My, my parents are getting a divorce.” She whispers, breaking the silence. 

I unbuckle my seatbelt and wrap my arms around her tightly. “It’s okay. I’m sorry Corinna. When, when did you find out?” 

She sniffs loudly as she keeps a hold of me. “About a month ago. I, I tried not to believe it and distract myself but I can’t anymore.” 

Moving her hair out of her face I sigh as she continues to cry. “Is that why you’re so invested in me being with Todd? And the whole Liza thing?” 

Corinna nods and scoffs at her current state. “God I’m a mess.” She comments as she wipes her eyes. “I just want you to be happy, Y/n.” She mumbles as she places her hand in mine, squeezing it lightly. “But Liza she, ugh. We were once friends, but we had an argument in Ninth grade and she went all weird.” 

I listen carefully, remembering that argument before I knew either of them. Liza disappeared for ages and came back a year later completely silent whilst Corinna rose in popularity. 

“What is so bad about Liza, C? I mean, really?” I ask, knowing I’m closer to getting answers at this point. 

She runs her fingers through her hair as she focuses on her own reflection. “I don’t know Y/n, really. It’s just gone on for so long I, I just go with it.” She admits and I lean back into my chair. 

“Then maybe now is the time to stop.” 

*

Driving along I watch as we pull up to the house. As I unbuckle my seatbelt Corinna clears her throat. “Please don’t tell the others about my parents.” She asks softly and I nod. 

“That’s not my business to share.” I respond as I go to open the door but pause. “Oh, and I’m not interested in Todd.” 

Corinna opens her mouth and looks at me like I’m mad. “Seriously?” She is clearly shocked by the revelation. “How can you not?” 

“C, if you like him trust me he’s all yours.” I laugh light-heartedly and she shrugs her shoulders as we walk inside and I head straight over to David. 

“Hey, I didn’t know if you were going to make it.” He says softly before turning around and revealing a rose. “You weren’t in and I wanted to give you this.” David’s smile is so sweet, he’s too kind to me despite the fact I’ve barely spoken to him this year. 

“Can we go somewhere private?” I mutter and he nods before turning around and I walk off, following closely behind him. 

We’re back in his room again. The same camera’s displayed and lens’ lining his shelf. 

I glance around as he stands by his doorway, unaware of the number of conversations we’ve had here. I’ve opened up about my life, and he’s told me things I didn’t ever anticipate hearing from him. 

Everything he’s told me, all the words I’ve said to him remain forgotten, one sided as he stands nervously, his hands in his pockets. 

“I’ve got something for you too,” I tell him as I motion down to the rose beside me. “you once told me you wanted to make something, produce something one day and I have an idea.” Taking out the papers I pass them over to him. “You don’t have to read it now, but consider it.”

He takes a hold of them, his fingers slipping over mine as I lock my eyes with his warm brown ones. A small smile emerges on his lips and I stand up, walking closer towards him as he remains still in the middle of his room. 

“Isn’t Todd waiting for you out there?” He turns and motions to the door, nerves clear in his expression. 

He remains so unaware he’s done this approximately eight times by now, but he wouldn’t know that. He wouldn’t know he’s gentle and caring, that he is so afraid of hurting me that he just holds me close. Nothing has happened because we are always cut off too soon. 

“I’ve never been interested in Todd, David.” I mutter as I feel his arms moving to rest on my waist, lightly pressing against my skin. “I should’ve told you sooner,” 

“Wait, what?” His eyebrows furrow as he looks at me, the small smile forming on my face. “You, you like me?” He questions it entirely, despite how close we are. 

“Is that so hard to believe?” I laugh quietly before placing my hand on his cheek and lean in. 

And this time there are no interruptions, no one comes in to stop us. 

I’m allowed the perfect moment with the right guy after all. 

As he kisses me his hands rise into my hair, pulling me closer into him. I can feel every emotion through his lips on mine. All of the times we came close to this but were never allowed it. They were worth the wait. 

I pull away and rest my forehead against his. “That was,” I breath as I smile at him. 

“Something else.” He finishes before kissing me lightly, and then the door opens and I look over seeing Kristen stood there slightly confused. 

“Todd is making a scene, he’s going in on Liza,” She mumbles and I slip away from David, his hand slowly letting go of mine as I smile back at him. 

“I’ll be back, I promise.” I tell him as his hand falls back down to his side, and I follow Kristen away from my safe haven, back towards the reality. 

Everyone is in a circle again, except it's not Corinna taunting Liza, it’s Todd. 

“Liza no one here likes you. You’re just putting everyone in a bad mood being here.” He keeps spitting things at her, telling her she’s worthless as everyone continues to film it and laugh. 

I look to Kristen who wears concern heavy in her eyes and I manoeuvre through the crowd until I’m in the centre of the circle. 

“Todd leave Liza alone.” I tell him and he turns around, looking at me with pure surprise. 

“Oh, hey babe.” He mutters as he reaches down to kiss me, but I bat him off. 

“I’m not your babe.” I spit at him before I step in front of Liza. “Stop trying to prove yourself, all of you. What has Liza ever done to any of you besides try to keep to herself?” Looking around I start to see more faces than phone cases, some are paying attention. “You’re all as bad as each other. Even if you’re not saying the words, you’re filming it, reacting to it. How does that make you any better of a person?” 

My words hang in the air as Todd clears his throat. “Wow, Y/n. You look a little flustered, here.” He picks up a drink and pours it over both me and Liza. 

Flicking it off I ignore my damp shirt. “So mature of you Todd, probably the most mature thing about you.” I hold up my pinky and everyone starts laughing. Todd moves away and David walks up to me, holding a hoodie. 

“You might wanna slip this on.” He says as I slip it on, the fabric covering my hands and my shorts. “It’s a bit big.” He comments and I laugh lightly. 

“It’s cute though.” I respond before turning around, seeing Liza gone. “I, I need to find her.” I tell him before I turn around and head out of the house. “Can you follow in your car?” I ask and see him grab his keys and rush out shortly after me. 

Running. 

I was running through the woods that echoed her whimpers, the growing sadness that hung heavy on the branches. “Liza!” I kept yelling as my feet struggled to keep up with me, but I had to do it, I had to make sure she was okay. 

As I came towards the end of the woods I saw someone stood there. 

That cream coloured cardigan that hangs over her small frame. “Liza, please just move away from the road.” I stay still as she leans against the willow tree that marks the border of the woods and the beginning of the road. 

She shakes her head, a small laugh escaping her lips. “Since when do you care, you’ve never cared!” She yells and I hold my hands up defensively. 

“I know, I know I’ve been horrible to you. Everyone has. But you don’t deserve to die because of it. I can’t let you die.” I breathe heavily as a car passes by, illuminating the panic in her eyes. 

“It’s never going to get better though.” She whimpers as she shuts her eyes and turns her back to me and steps forward. 

And then it all plays in slow motion. 

I run towards her, pushing her out of the way as the bright lights shine directly in front of me. 

No sound escapes my lips as I feel the impact hit me.

My body is completely limp as it rolls over the car and I slam into the tarmac. I can feel everything losing weight, nothing feels right. 

I struggle to keep my eyes open as I feel myself draining away. But I can still hear them all swearing as they surround me. 

“Y/n, oh my god I, I’m so sorry.” It’s David. He holds me limply close to him, his hand resting under my bloody head as I focus on him and smile. 

“It’s all over, David. Everyone can start again.” I choke on my words, struggling o breathe as I feel blood filling my lungs. Slowly I motion to his pocket, the pieces of paper I gave him. “Share the story, for me.” 

Slowly I can feel the edges of my vision blacking out, both Liza and David sit with me quietly telling me I’ll okay and help is coming. 

But I don’t need help, as time will now resume just like it should. 

[moonlessnight126]

Chapter 9: Trust and Honesty

Link

The sun shined brilliantly across the windows of the Café Parisian where Hinata’s mother sat quietly, tea lying there on the table getting cold as music played in the background. Preoccupied with the welfare of her son, voices of her surroundings gradually muffled away as her mind drowned in thought and worry that she nervously fiddled with her fingers over her lap. Suddenly, her ears picked up on a conversation behind her right close to the entrance door between two crew members.

She peered at the two as she listened in.

“Have you heard? Two members of the high class snuck into the steerage yesterday.”

“The steerage? Why would they do that?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Ha, that’s folly.”

“Commander Juzo had to go and search for ‘em too.”

“Was it a couple?”

“Probably so. Heard he found ‘em in a compromising situation too, but ya didn’t hear this from me.”

“Bet ya they had a good ol’ wackin!”

The rest of the conversation blurred away as her face contorted with worry.

‘Perhaps it was Hajime?’

She immediately shook her head at the absurdity of the idea, finding it almost laughable that she would suspect her very own son to have been engaging himself in that kind of ill-manner or any for that matter. She didn’t notice when her husband came and pulled a chair that she nearly jumped out of hers.

“Hajime hasn’t shown up yet?” He asked as he seated himself next to her.

“Not yet, dear.”

“That’s unlike him. Should we have woken him up?”

“I don’t know. He probably had… quite a long night, I suppose. Better let him rest.” She tried to mask her concern, but it showed and he quickly picked up on it. He knew it was unusual of her not to be excited about the events of the party.

“You seem worried.”

“I’m just… concerned about Hajime and how he’s been progressing thus far with the elites.”

“Isn’t he getting along fine?”

She gave him a smile before shrugging her shoulders. “You’re right, dear. I’m needlessly worrying over nothing again, aren’t I?”

“Like all mothers do; you just want what’s best for our boy. Have a little faith in him.”

“Well, I think he just needs a little encouragement from his father, too.”  She then nudged him playfully before saying, “Probably best when I’m not around, you know? Man to man.”

Chuckling, he assured her saying, “Alright, I’ll talk to him.”

Back in the suite, Hinata gradually woke up to a painful throb in his head that had him wincing as he rolled over in bed, praying this killer headache would go away but with no use. But that was to be expected from all the drinking he did, he thought as he opened his eyes.

Looking at the time, he realized he was late for breakfast. He grudgingly sat up and looked over to the adjoined door and wondered if his parents had tried waking him up.

That was when it occurred to him; how would he explain to his mother where he was the night before? But other than that, what Komaeda had said that night kept echoing in his mind.

What do I do, Hinata-kun? I’m falling more and more for you.

Although he imagined how difficult it might have been for Komaeda to open his heart and make himself vulnerable, he admitted his heartfelt feelings that were most honest and true. On the other hand, Hinata had been hiding the truth from him and that tugged painfully at his heart with guilt.

He pulled his knees up under the covers and lowered his head down between his arms, feeling very small as the world closed in on him. Cursing his shortcomings, he pursed his lips to suppress his anger with himself.

He wasn’t truly one of the elites that Komaeda admired so dearly, but he owed him the truth, the same courtesy. It's the least he could do. If he didn't tell Komaeda the truth, he wouldn't be able to move forward with their relationship.

...Relationship?

A blush crept up Hinata's cheeks as the word rang in his mind. That was the first time he admitted to himself out loud that what they have is a relationship, not some fluke or pent up feelings. It was real and tangible and he could actually imagine a future with him.

But…

Suddenly, his heart sank as a dark cloud loomed over his thoughts. He placed his hand on his chest and crouched over as a fleeting, dreadful sensation creeped into his heart. If he told him the truth, how would he respond? Would his feelings towards him change? Would he get angry? Would he not look at him with those adoring eyes and loving smile anymore? No, he couldn't bear it, couldn’t even bear the thought of it.

Suddenly, he felt sick in the stomach that he hastily got out of bed and grabbed the nearest basket before throwing up in it. He coughed and whimpered at the bitter taste in his mouth as he pulled himself up. He grabbed a piece of cloth nearby and wiped his mouth.

“Ugh, I shouldn’t have drunk this much.”

He then made his way to the drawer and pulled out a bottle of pills, popped two in his mouth and jugged it down with a bottle of water. He hoped the pills would numb the throb in his head, but he knew they wouldn't be able to take away the ache and fear enveloping his heart. He couldn't help but ponder over the possibilities that would take place if he was to confess.

Realizing there was no use in standing there idly and thinking it over, his eyes turned to ones of conviction. It wasn't a matter of debate and he couldn't keep it from him any longer. He has to do it.

Taking off the clothes that he had been wearing the night before, he opened the closet and pulled out his suit. Back to his formal attire, he exited the room.

“There you are, my boy!”

“Good morning father, ...mother.” His eyes lingered on her before pulling out a chair and sitting down. She didn't say a word as she quietly sipped on her tea.

“Slept quite a lot, haven’t you?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Tell me, how did it go, son?”

He looked over to his mother, knowing she was the one who usually asked these questions. He fidgeted as he answered, “Uhm, it was the usual, I guess.”

“That’s good. Say, Hajime. Yesterday, I happened to see you walking back to the cabin dressed rather peculiarly, and you were with that other boy, Komaeda Nagito was his name?”

Hinata froze stiff in his seat and his eyes shook as panic took over him.

“U-Uhm, W-We…”

“Darling, haven't you heard? The elites were hosting a clothing party yesterday, for laughs.” Hinata's mother interjected.

Hinata stared at her wide-eyed as she turned to him, “Isn't that right, dear?”

Hinata nodded. “Y-Yeah.”

“Is that right?” The father laughed. “Quite strange.”

“Dear, aren't you going to be late meeting your friends? They must be waiting for you.”

“Oh right. Well, I'm off then.”

His father picked himself up and headed towards the smoking room. Hinata lowered his head as he gazed down on his hands, clenched on top of his knees. He didn’t know he was holding his breath until his mother spoke out to him.

“Hajime,” she started, “... are you alright, dear?”

Hinata hesitantly lifted his head and looked at her.

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

Hinata remained quiet, cautious. Conflict raged in his heart because he wanted to confide in her; he wanted to tell her everything, but at the same time he knew perfectly well that she would never accept it, his feelings for Komaeda and their relationship together. She would never allow it. Aside from that, the way she spoke of him, her tone towards Komaeda, was a bit defensive. He was too afraid to say anything and risk losing Komaeda.

Struggle reflected in his eyes as he tried to find the words to say, but was caught off guard with what she said next.

“Did you enjoy the party? Judging from what you were wearing, I suppose you had a harmless visit to the lower decks, didn't you?” She said with a loving smile when she saw his eyes widen with shock. She then placed the tip of her fingers under his chin and sighed worriedly through her smile as she said admittedly, “I know we’ve been pressuring you a lot lately, so it’s alright. I’m not angry with you.” She then added with a laugh, “Your father doesn’t need to know that you’ve been down there, partying with a bunch of… a bunch of riots.”

“Mother…” The word breathlessly escaped his lips in disbelief because he couldn't believe his ears. He was unexpectedly surprised at how lightly she was dealing with the matter opposed to how he thought she'd react.

“But I don’t like you behaving like this either, going somewhere dangerous with your newfound friend.” She reprimanded before lifting her hand and cupping the side of his face. Caressing his cheek in a motherly manner, concern filled her loving gaze as she said, “You have to take care of yourself, because you could get yourself hurt. Who knows what kind of danger you might put yourself in?”

Missing the underlying intention of her words, Hinata gave her a soft chuckle because he did run into some trouble.

“Don’t worry about me. You taught me how to take care of myself.”

"I surely did."

They shared a warm smile before his mother pulled back her hand and said, “Okay, run along now. Off you go.”

“Thanks, mother.”

Hinata pulled himself up from his chair and surprised her with a kiss on a cheek before turning around and leaving.

His mother watched him go with a smile before her eyes turned weary.  

With a sigh of relief at being spared the confrontation with his mother, he still had another matter to be concerned about and it weighed heavily on his heart and clouded his mind with dark thoughts. He could clearly imagine Komaeda’s dismay. As he sat alone on the bench, he solemnly gazed at the clear blue sky when someone approached him.

“Hey friend, what's on your mind?”

Hinata jumped a little before turning his gaze towards the smaller fellow walking towards him, seating himself by his side.

“H-Hey, Hanamura.” He said with a nervous smile before reluctantly pulling his gaze down. When he didn't say anything else, Hanamura tilted his head curiously.

“Let me guess. Are you thinking about a certain white-haired friend?”

… Was it that obvious?

Hinata slit his eyes cautiously towards him that had Hanamura bursting with laughter.

“Of course you are! Is everything alright? You two were missing last night. Anything interesting happened?”

Something interesting indeed.

Hinata really did need to talk to someone and Hanamura already knew about them, so what was the harm in having a little bit of trust in the shorter man?

Hanamura listened intently with keen interest as Hinata started explaining what had occurred the night before, leading up to when Juzo walked in on them right after Komaeda’s confession while leaving out unnecessary details that he didn't need to know of.

“Oh my, that sounds intense! You and Komaeda have become really close in a very short time, I see." Hanamura took a moment before asking, "You two have slept together, haven't you?” He exclaimed rather excitedly before being gawked at by a panicked Hinata.

“W-What are you saying, Hanamura?!”

“That means you haven’t yet?”

“...”

With his silence and embarrassing demeanor, it was Hanamura's turn to gawk.

"Ahahaha! My my! This is strangely fascinating. I guess if I try to look at it in another perspective, one may possibly get mildly curious towards the same… sex, I suppose. But, then again, Komaeda does have some effeminate features, so it might make some sense, don't you think?”

‘He what?’

Hinata’s brows furrowed at the strange remark and was about to argue back before being shot with yet another bold question.

"So are you into guys?"

“What?! No!" Hinata stressed, bewildered by his straightforwardness.

"You lost me. Komaeda is definitely a gu-"

"That's different." Hinata interrupted quickly.

"Oh... Ohhhhh, I can picture it now! So, out of all the people you've met and against all odds, Komaeda was the one that you felt attracted to regardless of gender, am I correct?”

“W-Well, I... I…” Hinata found himself stuttering, having a hard time keeping up with the little man before being shot yet again with another forward question, animated with gestures of his body and hands.

“You felt an intense, unexplainable desire to touch him and listen to his sinful moans while you pound into his manhole and feel that tightness engulf your whole being that you-"

"For the love of everything holy, would you stop?!!” Hinata could feel his cheeks burn to a crisp. “It was nothing like that and why would…? Wait a minute. Have you ever thought of that?”

“What? Me? No! Noooo. Haha. Just saying.” Hanamura shrugged casually and added, “I’m trying to understand it, is all.”

“Uh-huh.” Hinata said suspiciously.

“But if it wasn’t lust or curiosity, what else could it be?”

Just then, Hinata bashfully turned his face the other way as he fiddled around with his fingers.

"W-W-W-Wait. You actually like him? As in like like?"

"Will you lower your voice? People might hear you if they haven’t already!" Hinata whispered in panic.

"But you said you weren't into guys."

"I'm not! I…” He gave out a defeated sigh before asking in a low voice. “Is that too complicated?"

He would guess it was.

Hanamura took a moment to realize and for a moment his eyes gleamed. "So you actually do like him."

Hinata's brow twitched as he turned his head towards the shorter man with an agitated look on his face. "That’s what I’ve been trying to say!”

“Interesting! You’re not into guys but somehow you fell for Komaeda. Oh! It’s like you're the protagonist of a heart-clenching, forbidden love story! That's very exciting!”

Although Hanamura was exhilarated, Hinata didn't share his enthusiasm as he lowered his head and sighed dejectedly. "Not as exciting as you think. It's as complicated as it sounds and dangerous, considering that we're both..."

"... Men? First class?"

When Hinata remained silent, Hanamura's exhilaration gradually faded away and was replaced instead with a look of sympathy at how disheartened Hinata looked. He couldn't even begin to imagine the kind of burden he was carrying.

"You're scared, aren't you?"

“Of course I am!” Hinata couldn't help clenching his fists on top of his knees, his face twisted in a frown as fear gripped at his heart. “It hurts me to think that we can't be together, that something might and probably will come between us and tear us apart. Or for the simple fact that I can't live up to his expectations.”

“What do you mean?”

Hinata hesitated before answering, “You know how enamored Komaeda is with all of you, yet I couldn’t find it in myself to tell him that I’m not truly an elite.”

Hanamura stayed silent as he watched Hinata lower himself and cover his face with both of his hands. Beady eyes contorted with pain because he couldn't bear seeing him that way. “I think you two are beyond that line now!” Hanamura suddenly blurted out. “Knowing Komaeda, he probably already knows.”

Hinata remained still for a little while before lifting his head up towards him and asked a bit discouraged, “What do you mean?”

“Something like this wouldn’t stay a secret from him. And if it is, just be honest with him. The most important thing to any relationship is complete honesty, right? If he feels the same way about you, he'll reciprocate your feelings. If he doesn't, you should let him go.”

Hinata pulled his gaze down, hiding behind the shadow of his bangs and said nothing while he gripped on his shaking hands, his eyes close to drawing tears.

"It's scary to be in love, isn’t it? But that's how it is. If you're both meant to be, it'll happen regardless of the circumstances.”

The words surprised Hinata that he turned to look at him a little bit amazed that Hanamura had to smile.

"I may be a bit of a pervert, but-”

“A bit is underrated.” Hinata quickly interjected that Hanamura dismissed immediately.

“Anyway, the point is.... when it comes to loving someone, no matter who, it’ll always have its own challenges, but that what makes it beautiful. It’s a journey that one must take and bear with it all the ups and downs that comes along.” Hanamura took a moment and added,” And in all honesty, I could have never imagined anyone loving Komaeda considering how he is, but for some reason I envy him for it. For him to find someone who loves him this much, considering the risks, I think he’s pretty lucky."

Hinata scoffed, thinking he was mocking him, but all he saw was a genuine smile from the shorter man.

“I really mean it. I wish I could be loved in that same manner as well. From a girl… that is. I’m all in for the girls, haha!”

"Hanamaru..."

Hinata couldn’t help but mirror the smile, feeling his spirit elevate a little. He was about to thank him for his words of encouragement, but that quickly changed when Hanamura ruined the moment. "So, you’re the lead in this relationship? The one on top? The dominant one? Admit it, you fell for him because of that plump little ass of his, hahahaha!” He then gasped mid-thought before exclaiming. “What if it’s the other way around? Do you switch? What about-”

"Hanamura!!!"

Without warning, Hinata nearly jumped out of his skin when Nidai popped behind them out of nowhere. “Haha! This little fellow is giving you trouble?”

“Hey! This fellow is helping a friend in love.”

“H-Hanamura! W-What are you saying?” Hinata panicked with a blush.

“Ha! It ain’t manly to blush like that.”

“Says the guy whose face turns red whenever Akane is around.”

“Haha! You got me!” Nidai bursted into fits of laughter as he placed his hand behind his head in embarrassment.

Souda joined in laughing as he pointed at Nidai, "A blush doesn't suit you at all, Nidai! What’s this I hear about Akane?”

"Look who's talking,” Hanamura teased.

“What? You’ve got nothing on me.”

“Yeah? Should we call Sonia over here?”

“W-Why? Is she around?” Souda stuttered nervously.

The boys fell into a fit of laughter and Hinata couldn’t help but join them. He then looked at Hanamura, placing his hand over his shoulder and smiled in appreciation for getting him off of his worries even if it was for a little while.

But just then, his heart nearly gave out when he heard a voice say, "It's very lively over here, isn't it?"

“And here comes the man of the hour.” Hanamura exclaimed as he winked at Hinata.

Souda flashed a smile and pulled his arm over Komaeda's shoulder, surprising him. "Say Komaeda, is it possible that maybe you might have a crush on anyone? Like what's between you and Tsumiki?"

"Tsumiki... san?"

"She has a bit of a crush on you, don't you think?"

"Haha, that's not possible.”

“She definitely is.” Souda murmured.

Hanamura clarified the question by saying, “He is asking if perhaps you’re in love with anyone at all.” At that moment, Hinata wanted to punch him in the face, but it came as a surprise when he heard Komaeda’s response, making his breath get caught in his lungs with eyes stretching wide.

"Of course I am."

Souda nearly toppled over, blurting out in shock, "R-Really? Who?"

For a brief moment, Komaeda's smile beamed with warmth towards Hinata amidst them before declaring, "With all of you, of course. I love each and every one of my beloved elites."

"That's not what I'm asking!" Souda yelled angrily.

"Ahaha! You're a strange one, aren't you?" Nidai gave Komaeda a strong pat on the back that nearly had him tripping.

The sound of their laughter deafened as Hinata stared at Komaeda and all he could hear was his heartbeat echoing loudly in his ears. Komaeda stared back with that ever enduring, immutable smile as those uncanny eyes locked with his. The way Komaeda had looked at him when he said those words had his stomach fluttering and churning that his cheeks were softly heating up all the way to his ears.

Hanamura peeked at the pair and secretly smiled for them.

Nidai and Souda soon left and Hanamura followed them but without giving Hinata a pat of encouragement first. Komaeda then turned to him with that ever radiant warm smile of his, making his own lips pull into a thin line.

He needed to tell him.

With so many people around, he felt self-conscious. He quickly took Komaeda’s hand in his and pulled him along, “Come with me, Komaeda.”

Hinata took him to what seemed to be a vacant room. The instant they were inside, he pulled him into his arms and kissed him against the wall, catching Komaeda by surprise as he gasped before feeling Hinata's sudden lips on him, making his heart skip a beat before he closed his eyes, returning the gesture with much fervor as he slid his hands over Hinata's chest and wrapped them around his neck.

Please, please, please…

Overwhelmed with the fear that he might walk away from him, Hinata held him tight in his arms. With a tilt of his head, he pressed his lips harder against his, pulling a soft moan from Komaeda's lips.

If everything were to crumble, he wanted to savor one final kiss.

When Hinata gently pulled back and gazed into Komaeda’s half-lidded eyes, noting the soft blush on his pale cheeks, his own lips quivered before closing his eyes, trying to gather the nerve to confess.

Komaeda’s brow furrowed, noting the distress Hinata was in. He gently caressed his cheek and lifted his gaze back to him before asking softly, “Something wrong, Hinata-kun?”

“Komaeda...” Hinata started reluctantly as he held and pressed that pale hand onto his chest, squeezing it tight. “There is s-something that I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Komaeda dipped his head to the side with a loving smile and said, “Tell me.”

“I-I…”

Hinata found swallowing difficult and his eyes reflected emotions of guilt and fear. Seeing that gentle smile on Komaeda's face, he just... couldn't.

Hinata couldn’t help dreading the worst. Would he like him any less if he knew the truth? Would he get angry with him and leave? The questions plagued his consciousness as fear gripped at his heart.

Komaeda noticed the slight tremble of his shoulders and started to feel concerned. “Hinata-kun, what’s wrong?”

When Hinata didn’t answer, Komaeda closed the distance even more between them and gently caressed his cheek to soothe him.

Feeling a little more resolved, Hinata gently held that caring hand and placed it over his chest, lips barely a breath apart from his as he reluctantly looked into those pale green eyes.

With their eyes locked on one another, Hinata gently cradled the side of his face and sighed with a shiver before saying admittedly as he squeezed Komaeda's hand over his chest, “I haven’t been truly honest with you."

“About what, Hinata-kun?”

Komaeda could clearly see how scared and hesitant Hinata was. One more time, he asked with a gentle caress of his hand across his cheek and with an unwavering smile, “What is it? Tell me.”

Seeing the look in Komaeda’s eyes, Hinata couldn’t bear denying him the truth any longer.

Link

~Moonlessnight126