#the other party members can be assholes but steve still loves them

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Plan of Attack

Steve isn't stupid, but he thinks it's funny that the kids think he is. One day, when the moment is just right, he will pounce on them with his amazing knowledge, and it will be so funny. It was El, of all people, who caught onto him. He's not surprised. The kids kind of treat her with kid gloves after everything she's been through, and sometimes they treat her like she's a child. While it's difficult for her to talk, it's not because she's stupid. She's smart in so many ways, so when she finds out what Steve is doing, she jumps on board. It was Hopper who figured it out next.

"Why are you guys doing this?" He asked Steve and El.

"Because those kids need to be knocked down a peg or two. They need to know that it's not okay to assume that just because I'm a jock it must mean I'm dumb. They definitely need to stop treating El like she's stupid because she's pretty fucking smart," Steve said.

"We are waiting for the right time to -- what did you say? Oh, yeah. We are waiting to go for the jugular," El said with a grin.

"Mike is the worst of them all when it comes to El," Steve said. "He's the one who we need to take down the hardest."

"I have never been prouder to call you my son," Hop said.

"Uh, you've never called me your son," Steve said, blinking his eyes rapidly.

"That's about to change," Hop said gruffly.

"Uh. . .okay," Steve said, tears pooling in his eyes.

"Come on, Steve, let's go to my room, and we'll work on our plan," El told him, grabbing his hand and dragging him to her room.

Will, who had overheard the whole thing, popped his head in a moment later. He was the only other one of them who had never treated Steve unkindly for being dumb. No surprise there though, Will was an angel.

"Can I help?" He asked, Steve and El grinned at him.

[missmarveledsblog]

BEFORE HE CHEATS (EDDIE MUNSON X READER)

summary : Y/N hopper is out with the gang celebrating at the hideout when her boyfriend walks in with a blonde on his arm and she goes for where it hurts ... his car while eddie help the woman he secretly loves get over her new ex .

warning: violence against cheating exes and their cars , hopper being a girl dad boss

A rare night out with the older members of the gang , a celebration of the anniversary stopping the end of the world and eddie being cleared as a murderer . the rules we're simple no outsiders that included partners which only effected the rest as jonathan and nancy were still going strong together . the drinks flowing and music blaring everyone was enjoying their night. eddie and steve complaining about dustin and his ego while robin and Y/N well no one knew what they were talking about especially when alcohol was involved, the word vomit was on fast forward with the two, yet eddie munson often felt trapped in a trance at the chief of police daughter. how her laugh was his favourite sound . how when she looked at him , he'd honestly thought his legs would give out yet she belonged to someone else because he was too much of a chicken shit to tell her how he felt. he loved it was just the gang tonight he got to admire her and not feel sick watching her in the arms of some asshole that clearly didn't deserve her. How the moment he met the dude 8 months ago he felt something , a walking red burning flag the guy was. how he would let her down most of time . no if she was his girl , he would make sure everyday that she would know how special she was . But now he was looking from the outside , being the guy she would cry to when he could give her the world if she asked . he may not of had money for fancy date but he would make it special , he would make sure it was something that was worthy of her. he knew she wasn't the type to be impressed by flashy gifts and date . she appreciated everything no matter how small it was , even when the kids pitched in and got her flowers with a cassette she lit up like they gave her a new car . He wished something would give him the chance just for once cut him a break in the shit show he called his life.

like an answered pray the gang eyes all locked on the door as he walked in a skinny little blonde on his arm looking completely terrified of everything around her. " hey we had some car trouble could we use the phone " he called not clocking his girlfriend tense shoulders and heartbroken face or her existence at all . " could be a work friend " robin mused. " baby come on we're missing our engagement party " she cried. " how long you been together " a man asked them . " only four month but when you know well you know " she giggled not sounding like the brightest bunny in the cage  . " we can leave " steve winced . " nope more alcohol " she shook her head her face completely emotionless as she looked over seeing the two heading for the pool table . she watched for half an hour , they played up using the excuse to touch each other in a sickeningly sweet seductive way . she scoffed when the girl complain how harsh the whiskey or how he would beam down at her kissing her like she was all he could matter about . " we could kick his ass " steve mused . " nope hey stevie that bat with the wire still in your car? " she slammed the rest of her drink down . " yeah why " he asked. " no reason , thanks for the keys " she walked by she ignored how her ex turned trying to hide himself and the selfish fuck thought it worked like he actually got away with it . " steve , you told her the bat was in the car and let her take your key " robin mused. " yeah " he nodded til his eyes widened in realization. " oh shit " he ran toward the entrance only for them to heard the smashing already take place . " hey fuck face i think your cars in more trouble , i suggest you hide your friend from the girlfriend out there " eddie yelled back .

when the gang walked out every window on the corvette was gone , she was currently dragging her own keys alongside the exterior of the car, the sound of the scratched up metal filled the car park . She pulled out the butterfly knife from her boot to which she  stabbing them in the in the tire as they watched . " what the fuck you crazy bitch " he yelled. " oh hey baby fancy seeing you here" she waved stabbing the tire while he watched on . " who is she " the blonde on his arm screeched ." his girlfriend of 8 months " eddie rolled his eyes . what he didn't expect was the pissed off grunt of the blonde . "have you got another bat " she stomped toward the car . " no but if you wanna shred the interior here" she held the knife out to the woman . now his side chick was slashing his seats before pulling a gun out of the glove box . " headlights, he's not worth a life sentence " Y/N yelled as the gun rang out the woman threw it to the ground just as the red and blue light came speeding in . " oh hi dad " she smiled . " what's going on " he huffed. " he cheated and he's car mysteriously got destroyed stranger things have happened huh? " she smiled weakly. " sir i did not cheat ... ok i did but it was so her dad would give me a promotion so i could take care of your daughter " her ex rambled . " well you should park your car somewhere safer next time son the boys can give you lift home " hopper crossed his arm. " arrest them they did it " he cried . " you guys see it " he asked the group . " no " they yelled. " hey hop hate to say no cctv busted since last night " roy the owner of the bar smirked. " now off you go insurance can handle it " hopper waved to her ex a anger grimace on his face as the man walked off without a car or a girlfriend . " maybe next time you'll think before you cheat " she called . " it wont be on us " the blonde called . " hey steve give .. " . " abby " she sniffled. " abby a lift home" she smiled sadly to the woman . " sorry i didn't know he was seeing anyone,  i thought i met the guy after so many failed date but he was just after my money  " she said standing  tears falling down her cheeks  . " thanks for the help now go home and plus stevie there's better guy and no shrimp dick  and he's already rich " she winked as the two walked off . " you need a ride home guys won't mind " hopper looked at her. " nah i'm good " she smiled sadly walking over to the gang as robin wrapped her in an embrace. " hey come on little vandal i'll bring you home " eddie smiled softly leading her to his van as her dad ran up behind them . " next time don't leave evidence" he whispered handing over the knife and bat . " night dad " she kissed his cheek . " night sweet heart , me and my girls tomorrow for dad daughter breakfast " he smiled . " make sure el has her eggo's " she chuckled . " hey munson don't pussy out " he yelled out making her stop at the van. " what does he mean " her eye filled in confusion . " that our cue to go " robin yelled .

" well i didn't expect your dad of all people to call me out " he began shuffling his feet while his eyes that usually would follow her anywhere couldn't bare to even look at her . " eddie you ok " he could hear her feet coming closer making his own heart beat thump in his chest . " i'vebeeninlovewithyousincewemet" he said the words jumbled together halting her steps . " wait what " she giggled . " i've been in love with you since we met " he sighed . " why didn't you say anything " her voice fell into a whisper . " because look at you and look at me , your badass and well i'm ...OWW" he jumped back . " your badass too and ugh why didn't you say anything could of saved me 8 month of my life " she huffed getting into the van . " what you mean by that" he chased after her . " meaning that night i met that idiot was because you were again flirting with some ditz and i was sick of it so " she huffed heading hitting the seat , " you liked me " he smiled . " yes i like you but this too soon i mean i just broke up with my boyfriend " . " well then i can wait i've been waiting years already i can wait for you anytime " he smiled like a giddy teen . " fuck it "she leaned forward crashing her lips against his , she spent years watching that mouth move wondering how her lips would feel against them . " ok we need to go home before we do anything we regret , i want you that bad sweetheart i'm not leaving anything to chance but i'm taking you on a date once your ready " he smiled starting the van driving off happy both looked to the smashed up car before breaking into fit of laughter .

she watched his profile , she notice something she barely even cared her ex well was now her ex. the man done nothing but let her down and then throw shitty gifts at her. yet once even with eddie doing whatever it always made her happy . he was always about to make her smile no matter what was going around even when he almost died he tried to make her smile . the more she thought of it the more she realise he really was always there . when her and hopper would have a argument like most dad's and daughters he would open his home for her to sleep over. everytime her dates would  be cancelled he would pick up her disappointment and do something fun with her " Eddie i don't want you to wait , i mean i don't think i can wait for you anymore " her voice now showing she was the nervous one . she meant it , thought she literally just became single  she couldn't leave it another second without eddie being her , truly hers . he didn't say anything only drove which made her more nervous til he pulled into the diner. " well then i'm not waiting " he smiled making her released a breath she was holding . " so this is our first date?" she smiled. " i mean it's already the best one those burgers in there are to die for " he chuckled jumping out of the car before walking around and lifting her out of the van . " you ready " he asked holding her close to him . " who knew  cheating and car vandalising would bring me to one of the best nights of my life " she smiled as he leaned down this time taking charge of the kiss and taking the chance he wished he'd done sooner .

[schrijverr]

I Found Myself a Cheerleader 27

Chapter 27 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, they're in the hospital and the party stitches itself back together again as they all heal and come together. Hopper returns from the dead and the people from Cali reunite with the others as they catch up and wait for Eddie to wake up again.

On AO3.

Ships: steddie & buckingham

Warnings: hospital, hate-crime mention, homophobia mention, f-slur

~~~~

Chapter 27: The Hospital

It’s been two days since the door has been unlocked for the party and uncle Wayne and Eddie still hasn’t woken up yet.

Steve has spend most of his waking moments glued to Eddie’s side, though he makes the rounds past Chrissy and Max whenever Wayne is around, since he is too scared to face the older man just yet. Dustin assures him he’s very nice, but Dustin doesn’t have Steve’s history. So, not meeting between the two so far.

Today is another moment that Steve has ducked out when Wayne came down the hall and has fled to Chrissy’s room to hang out with her and Robin. Chrissy’s own parent have been giving her the cold shoulder for her stunt, especially when she refused to go to bible camp to get her rebellion fixed.

Despite the likely disownment hanging over her head, however, she’s in good spirit. That is probably helped by Robin’s parents, who are taking her under their wing much like they had done for Steve. It’s also helped by the fact that she and Robin have been spending a lot of time together and growing more and more enamored with each other.

However, their budding relationship doesn’t stop them from including Steve whenever possible and the three of them hanging out like they used to do.

“I got a card from all the cheer team, looks like Mary is making head cheerleader after all,” Chrissy tells Steve.

“Bet coach Miller is pissed off she lost her best flyer right before the last championship,” Steve says.

“Yeah, she really thought we were gonna win this time.”

“She always thinks we’re going to win,” Steve rolls his eyes, making Chrissy snort.

“Why do I like you jocks again?” Robin whines. The conversation about cheer has been going on for a while already.

“Because we’re charming and lovely,” Steve suggest.

Chrissy meanwhile grins: “Because you’re a lesbian.”

“I hate you both,” Robin tells them, but she’s grinning too.

“No, you love us,” Steve teases her, feeling safe to do so because he’s getting all their secrets and confessions from both of them.

Like expected, Robin gets a dopey look on her face and grins: “Yeah, I do.”

On the bed, Chrissy blushes, though a happy smile fills her face. She takes Robin’s hand and shyly says: “I love you too.”

Robin’s dopey smile gets even wider and a blush appears, before squeals and kicks her feet, burying her face in the blankets as she face plants into them to hide.

“God, you two are so disgustingly in love, it’s adorable,” Steve complains. Without his consent, his mind wanders to Eddie and how maybe that can be him too, if the other ever wakes up.

The two girls know him well enough to guess where his mind has gone, because Robin pokes her head up from the blankets again and takes his hand, while Chrissy bumps her cast against him. He smiles at them, grateful for their presence.

“He’s going to be okay,” Chrissy assures him.

Robin snorts: “Yeah, he’s too much of a stubborn asshole to go down like that.”

That makes Steve laugh. Robin always knows how to make him laugh or smile again, even when it all feels hopeless. She also knows how to give him hope, they both do.

Their laughter is interrupted by a female voice, who says: “Max told us we could find you here.”

Steve whips his head around and his eyes land on Joyce. She’s standing in the doorway, looking tired but happier than he has seen her since Hopper’s funeral. Before he’s even aware of it, he’s out of his chair and walking to her, hugging her close.

An adult is here to take over again. Joyce is here. He has always felt safe with her, even if she might have only taken him in out of obligation, he knows she cares for him in some way. She wanted him to come to California with them. She wanted to keep him safe. And now she’s here.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, voice tight with unshed tears and colored with disbelief.

“It’s a long story,” Joyce answers, stepping back so she can cup his cheek and check him over, eyebrows frowning when she spots the bruises on his neck. “We were coming home to make sure you all were okay.”

“And El, Will and Jonathan?” Steve asks. “How did you know?”

“El contacted us, she has her powers back. I was in Russia with Murray when she contacted us, because-”

“Russia?” Steve almost shrieks, the thought of meeting a Russian again terrifying to him after last summer.

Before Joyce can answer, however, another voice comes down the hall. A voice that shouldn’t be here, yet is. Hopper who calls out: “Joyce, you know I don’t move as fast with my passenger.”

It seems impossible, but Hopper is indeed there, coming down the hospital hallway with El clinging to his side. He doesn’t look upset as he holds her close and shuffles as best he can without dislodging her in any way.

“You’re- You’re-” Steve stammers, legs almost numb as he stumbles towards Hopper, one hand raised, reaching out, but unsure if he’s truly seeing this.

“I’m alive, kid,” Hopper tells him, finally there.

Almost as if watching from above, outside of his body, Steve sets another step forwards, collapsing in Hopper’s arms. Tears that have been threatening to fall since Joyce’s arrival begin to fall as he clutches to Hopper, his strong arm coming to rest around Steve as well.

Hopper’s death has been one of the worst things that has ever happened to Steve, which is saying a lot with his life so far. It has given him so much responsibilities and it hurt to loose him. This last stint with the Upside Down, has only made Steve miss Hopper more, feeling the gaps left by his presence.

But now he’s here.

He’s alive.

Hopper is alive.

“It’s okay, kid, it’s okay, I’m here,” Hopper shushes him, rubbing his back as he attempts to soothe Steve.

Steve honestly doesn’t care that he’s an adult and that he’s crying like a little boy in Hopper’s arms, unable to stop. He hiccups: “I lo- love you so so much, I miss- missed you. I’m sorry for not hugging you at the mall, I’m sorry for- I- I’m sorry.”

And he’s only crying more as Hopper holds him. He’s glad the other isn’t too macho to push Steve away after that, because Steve couldn’t have handled that. Hopper is one of the few adults that actually cared for Steve and Steve has regretted not telling him that when he was gone. He needed to say it and now he has.

“Me too, me too,” Hopper says and that’s more than enough for Steve, who continues to try and squeeze the life out of him with how tightly he holds him, uncaring about his stitches.

Robin, however, does care about his stitches and comes to pull him away. She says: “Come on, dingus. The nurse will yell at you if you pop your stitches again.”

Steve stubbornly tries to hold on for a little bit more, but the comment has worried Hopper and Joyce enough that they don’t let them. Joyce going to check him over again, frowning: “Are you hurt?”

“A little bit,” Steve says, playing it off. There are people more hurt than him anyway.

“He nearly got eaten by Upside Down bats along with Eddie,” Robin tattles and he kicks at her, though she jumps out of dodge. She sticks out her tongue and he glares at her.

“Eddie took the brunt,” Steve tries to make it less.

“Let’s just start at the beginning,” Hopper says, moving to go sit down.

Steve now properly spots El and he immediately knows that getting her powers back wasn’t fun or easy. He also knows better than to comment on her lack of hair, so he just hugs her like he did at the funeral and fiercely says: “I am so glad to see you, El. Thank you for coming to save Chrissy and Max.”

She hugs him back and says: “Thank you for keeping my friends safe here.”

It chokes him up all over again and he holds her close. He got everyone through alive, but they have never been more hurt collectively, so he doesn’t feel like he should be thanked. But hearing it from her means everything to him, because she has always been the one keeping everyone safe right alongside Hopper and Steve. It feels good that he had her back.

“Always,” he promises her, rubbing her head. Quietly he tells her: “You look bitchin’.”

El pulls back at that and smiles at him. It’s small, but it’s there and it is so good to see her smile again.

While he was saying hi to El, Robin awkwardly half-introduced herself, because she never really got the chance to get to know Hopper and Joyce, as well as introduce Chrissy. Since she is Robin, she also half catches them up on what has happened by introducing Chrissy as the girl who got Vecna’d with Max, before going into a ramble about Vecna.

Steve puts her out of her misery as they all catch each other up on what happened.

They explain how Hopper is alive, though how Hopper survived that, Steve doesn’t know. He spent a few hours with the Russians and that was more than enough for him, being there for months sounds like a death sentence. But he’s here.

Hearing how Joyce got kidnapped to Russia is insane. He has always known that Joyce was one of the toughest people out there, but he only gains more respects for her.

It’s not really until El tells them how they fared that Steve gets mad. Robin of course notices and grabs his hand to prevent him from picking a fight with the government again.

The others have heard a little bit about what happened with them as well and they catch them up on all the drama and nonsense they’ve had to face. Luckily able to also tell them that Eddie’s name was cleared yesterday and they’ve let Henry Creel take the fall for his own killings, painting Eddie as a hero who tried to take him down, found by Steve.

It has been quite a lot for just a week and Steve is so happy they’re there. They are as tired as they are, but with them there, they have more eyes to watch out for those townsfolk who haven’t been convinced and just in case the Upside Down isn’t as collapsed as they think it is.

Steve isn’t alone in his responsibility anymore.

Will and Mike are with Lucas and Max, Dustin also having joined them, while Jonathan is visiting Nancy along with his friend, Argyle. Their group has come straight to the hospital when they arrived, but they’re tired and Steve suddenly remembers he left his cabin like… that.

“Uhm, I-” he starts, suddenly and all turn on him. He says: “I don’t know if El said that I- I have been staying in the cabin.”

“I am his landlord,” El says proudly at the new word she knows now.

Steve flushes a little as Hopper raises a brow and looks between the two. Steve shrugs: “She wanted to give it to me, I convinced her to rent it to me, but I don’t actually pay rent, I just live there.”

“Well done, kiddo,” Hopper says, ruffling El’s hair as she practically preens.

Then she tells them: “We saved your room. All your stuff is as you left it. I made Steve promise.”

Steve cringes and he tentatively says: “Uhm, about that…” El’s head whips around and Steve can feel his soul shrink under her betrayal. Quickly he waves his hands as he explains: “No, not like that. It’s all there, the basketball team just kind of broke in and searched the place and maybe also spray painted some slurs on it.”

His voice almost disappears at the end, shame taking over. He promised to keep their cabin safe and instead he led the basketball team to it.

However, when Hopper speaks, his anger isn’t directed at Steve when he asks: “They’re still targeting you?”

“I mean, it got better for a while, but they, uhm, they thought I would hide Eddie, so they came to look for him there,” Steve tells them, then hesitates before he adds: “You know how they can be, said ‘a fag will hide a fag.’ Even if they don’t know shit.”

The girls also haven’t heard that detail and they gasp alongside Joyce and Hopper when he tells them. El frowns, Steve is sure Joyce has told her not to use that word, like she told him.

Robin’s hand finds his own and he squeezes it, glad for the support. It’s not really a coming out and he tries to hide behind the fact that the basketball team doesn’t even know shit, because it’s true that they aren’t dating. Sadly. Still, it’s scary.

Steve is sure both Joyce and Hopper never fully believed him when he told them those rumors weren’t true, but they have continued to have his back, so Steve doesn’t expect a big blow out from them. Especially not Joyce and he doesn’t think Joyce would want to be with someone who couldn’t accept her boys.

“Is Powell doing anything about this?” Hopper demands to know.

“He’s kinda had his hands busy and it’s not like I’m reporting it to the cops,” Steve replies. “I don’t need that right now. I just said so you won’t be shocked when you get there. You’re free to use whatever you need.”

“When’s the last time you went home?” Joyce asks, obviously concerned, but luckily stopping Hopper from starting an interrogation about it.

Steve isn’t about to tell them that it’s been days, so he just smiles: “Not that long ago, I have the night watch with Eddie tonight.”

It’s not a lie, he just also doesn’t add that he has the night watch every night, because that’s when Wayne leaves. A detail everyone has been kind of aware of, but has kindly not mentioned in his presence yet. Except for Robin and Chrissy, who back him up and don’t mention it now.

“You’re taking care of yourself?” Joyce checks.

“I am,” Steve assures her. “Don’t worry about me, I didn’t just break a man out of a Russian prison.”

“No, but you kept a group of kids out of the hands of a super powered serial killer, that has to count for something,” Joyce tells him kindly, making Steve blush and duck his head, before they bid their goodbyes.

Once the group is gone, Chrissy lets out a deep breath and says: “I can’t believe the chief’s still alive. Breaking into your house for his funeral seems so long ago now.”

“Do you think you’ll get to keep the cabin now that he’s back?” Robin asks.

“I’ll at least get to crash there. Hopper wanted to take me in from the start,” Steve says. “But with El and Joyce in Cali, he’ll probably join them, so I might.” Not that he cares. Steve can sleep in his car for all he cares. Hopper is alive.

That night he holds vigil at Eddie’s bedside again. Max and Chrissy might get to leave in a few days, but Eddie is still out. There’s a little color in his cheeks again, but it is still wrong to see him like this. So still and quiet.

There are no rings on the hand Steve holds. All Eddie’s stuff has been given to Wayne and a selfish part of Steve wishes he could have one of them. Just to make Eddie look more like Eddie again. To know what it would be like to hold his hand properly, instead of this lifeless imitation.

“Please, wake up, Eds,” he whispers softly. “I miss you. You promised we’d move to the city together, that we’d get out of this hellhole. I still have to sit in on one of your games with the kids. I was going to make you dinner and trace your tattoos. Remember? You still need to find out if my moles make constellations. You gotta be awake to do that.”

It’s selfish to ask Eddie to wake up just for him. But Steve does it anyway. Now in the dead of night with no one around, he can ask it of Eddie. He needs to hear the other say it again. To be assured it’s not just a confession made when they thought they wouldn’t make it. To know that Eddie wants to make good on those promises.

“I love you,” he tells the sleeping boy in the hospital bed, a tear leaking from his eye and falling on the limp hand.

For a second, he thinks Eddie squeezes it, but when he frantically starts to call his name, nothing happens again.

Steve sleeps fitfully on the hospital couch, like he has so often done. Nightmares still haunt him and while he hasn’t thrown up yet, he knows it’s only a matter of time, before that happens. It makes him anxious to actually go to bed, so he gets up early and sleeps only as much as necessary.

That morning, he slips out of the room, before Wayne can arrive. It’s become routine and while he hates leaving Eddie, he is more scared of Wayne. Besides, it gives him an opportunity to check in with the others.

Today, he goes by Max. She’s flipping through a magazine, looking bored. Lucas has been forced home by his parents today along with Erica and Dustin always goes by Eddie first when he gets to the hospital. Will and El might come by later, but that isn’t now.

“How you feeling, Mayfield?” he asks, leaning against the door frame.

She scowls at him, but doesn’t look annoyed with him, just the world. “Like my legs are itching and I can’t scratch them and I have nothing to entertain me but stupid magazines.”

“That sucks,” Steve sympathizes, pulling a face. “I can ask Robin to bring some of her weird novels she loves so much. I think you’ll like them.”

“Thanks, Steve,” she smiles, a good sight. “I can’t wait to get out of here. Then I can start learning tricks with my wheelchair. Not a skateboard, but close enough.”

“God, you’re going to give me gray hairs,” Steve groans, but he’s secretly glad she doesn’t hate it entirely.

“Funny, that’s exactly what my mom said,” Max teases him and like the adult he is, he sticks his tongue out at her.

The two continue to chat a little bit more. It’s good to talk to her, to know how she’s doing, to see her. After having her nearly die because they didn’t check on her enough, Steve revels in getting to shoot the shit with her again.

After a bit, she suddenly asks: “Did you and Eddie make up again?” Steve doesn’t know what face he pulls at that, so she explains: “I saw you knocking and then he wasn’t there at new years and I never saw you two together again, but you seemed friendly again on the run.”

He had almost forgotten Max had been in on their prank on the others, but he nods: “Yeah, we- we did. Turns out, we both were being stupid, me especially. But I said sorry.”

“I hope he wakes up soon,” Max confesses softly. “He’s always nice to me.”

Emotion overtakes Steve and his voice sounds choked up as he agrees: “Me too.”

They’re startled out of the moment by a knock on the door. Both turn to find Will and El standing there. Will waves awkwardly, but El skips into the room, throwing herself at Max.

El had been there yesterday too, but her newly returned dad kind of took up a lot of her mental space, so they hadn’t caught up properly yet. But they are now. The two of them immediately start chattering away.

As they do, Will comes to sit next to Steve. He and Max are friends too, but he’s content to let his sister catch up with Max first. He can always do it later and she needs this right now. And he and Steve probably need to have a conversation too.

Steve hasn’t spoken with Will after those few words before they moved to California. Right now he’s glad that he didn’t have the chance to fuck Will up again when his own bullshit came in the way again. But right now he is in a good space. The best space actually. He can talk to Will now, should he want that.

He’s about to subtly ask if Will wants to, so they can find a more private space to sit. However, before he can, there is screaming coming down the hall.

They rush to the door where Steve almost collides with Dustin, who yells: “Eddie woke up! He woke up!”

It takes a second before the words register, then Steve almost pushes Dustin out of the way as he starts sprinting down the hallways. He is dodging nurses left and right, while Dustin and maybe Will follow behind him.

The elevator takes too long, so he’s taking the stairs two at a time, before flying into the hallway where Eddie’s room is.

When he gets there, he nearly runs into the door frame in his scramble to round the corner, skipping to a halt in the room. He’s breathing loudly as he takes in Eddie, who is sitting upright, his eyes open, looking tired but awake. Alive.

“Eddie,” Steve breathes, almost like he can’t believe it.

“Stevie,” Eddie smiles, his arm shaking as he attempts to reach out, though his muscles are still too weak.

However, before it can drop it, Steve is already holding his hand, pushing into his space or maybe pulling himself into it. He sits on the edge of the hospital bed as he brings up a shaking hand, tucking a strand behind Eddie’s ear, which makes the other boy blush.

“You’re- you’re awake,” he says, his voice quiet and filled with awe, as if he’s afraid the moment will become undone or broken if he speaks too loudly.

“I am,” Eddie replies, a crooked grin coming over his face as adds: “I still had a few promises to fill, remember? Like moving to the city, letting you sit in on a game… tracing your moles, finding the constellations there.”

Tears appear in Steve’s eyes and he buries his head in the crook of Eddie’s neck as he starts to weep. It’s not really crying or sobbing, just little gasps as tears stream out of his eyes. Unable to out all his emotions in any other way.

Eddie probably thinks he’s pathetic, but he truly can’t help but cling to him. Though Eddie is clinging back just as hard and a wet spot appears on Steve’s shirt too.

“I’m so sorry for passing out on you, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers.

“Don’t apologize for that, you idiot. I’m just glad you came back to me,” Steve tells him. He’s not going to let Eddie feel guilty for nearly dying of all things.

“I’ll always come back to you,” Eddie promises and even though he can’t truly promise that, Steve believes him.

“I’ll be waiting,” he replies, a promise in his own right.

It’s not an I love you, but it feels the same. It’s enough of an affirmation that that’s still real, now they get to built up to it again. Say it when their lives aren’t in danger, when they’re not in a hospital.

The two of them finally manage to let go and look each other in the eye. Even tear stained and bruised with exhaustion, Eddie’s eyes are beautiful. And now Steve is finally allowed to get lost in them like he has always wanted to.

Well… Almost.

Behind them, someone clears their throat and Steve startles as he scrambles off the bed to check if they’ve been caught. If they’re going to die now.

Instead, he comes face to face with something that is almost worst; Wayne.

“So, you’re the Steve Eds has told me so much about,” he says, looking Steve over. Probably seeing all the parts where Steve fails. Where he isn’t good enough.

Steve swallows: “Yes, sir.”

“Uncle Wayneee,” Eddie whines. “Steve is cool.” Wayne raises his brow, obviously not believing it, but Eddie isn’t letting it stand. He crosses his arms and juts his chin in a way that is very attractive as he argues: “Steve believed I was innocent. He hid me from the cops, fed me and drove me to the hospital. We talked. It was a misunderstanding. He’s cool.”

Okay, so Eddie did tell Wayne about their fight and their friendship. Steve is now glad he avoided Wayne, because he feels his knees shaking under that stern gaze.

However, with Eddie’s words, Wayne’s face softens and he steps forwards. Without thinking about it, Steve steps backwards, mentally cringing at his own actions, though they are founded in valid experiences.

Wayne frowns again as he does, but he doesn’t move any closer, which Steve is grateful for. Instead, he says: “Thank you for bringing my boy home to me.”

“Oh, uhm, you’re welcome, sir. It- It was no issue,” Steve stumbles, unsure how to act in face of this sudden chance of tune. “Is- Is this okay?” he adds, because he’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop, even if he knows Wayne knows Eddie is gay, this might be too much.

“Of course it’s okay,” Wayne assures him. “Eds told me you were family.”

It’s the same euphemism Eddie used at that picnic table back in the spring of 1985, now almost a year ago. The sentence that made Steve feel safe for the first time. Now he knows where Eddie got it from.

Oh my god, Eddie got it from Wayne. Wayne knows. Wayne is gay.

Steve is sure his eyeballs nearly fall out of his sockets and Wayne sends him a crooked little grin that makes him look like Eddie. “I mean no harm, son,” Wayne assures him and Steve again feels that blanket of safety fall over his shoulders.

Tentatively, Steve allows himself to smile back. “Thank you, sir.”

“No need for that sir shit,” Wayne tells him, again stepping closer – which Steve allows this time – and clasps a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “You saved Eddie and you made him smile, that’s more than enough for me. You’re always welcome at our house.”

“Thank you, s-” Steve stops himself before he can say sir again, but he doesn’t care about the mishap. Meeting Wayne could have been so so so much worse.

“Can I please have my Steve back now,” Eddie interrupts them and Wayne chuckles, while Steve blushes.

Though, despite his red face, he still sits down next to Eddie again. His Steve. It sounds great, the best and now that Eddie is awake and all their issues cleared up, Steve is never just leaving his side again. Unless like Robin needs him.

Eddie sags back into the pillows and softly murmurs: “I’m a little sleepy, sweetheart. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Eds, just rest,” Steve tells him.

“Will you be there when I wake up?” Eddie asks.

“Of course,” Steve promises. “And I’ll be there when you recover and when you get released and then I’ll take you on a silly movie date, if you’d like.”

“I’d love that, Stevie,” Eddie grins tiredly, before he drops off again.

Steve rearranges the pillows a little until Eddie is comfortable, though it might not have mattered, since the boy is fast asleep again. A fond smile graces his lips as his hands linger slightly on Eddie’s skin, finally allowed to touch. To be close.

Dustin’s voice cuts through the moment as he complains: “I didn’t even get to say hi to him.”

He is standing at the doorway alongside Will, who is staring at the scene with eyes big as saucers, which are filled with awe and hope. Dustin however, looks displeased, crossing his arms as he goes on: “When I got here the doctors were poking at him and now you stole all his attention.”

Will glances at Dustin, then at Steve. He’s clearly unsure if Dustin is that oblivious or if he’s that cool and he doesn’t know how to react.

Steve smirks at Dustin then says: “Probably because he likes me better.”

At that Dustin is about to get say something huffy, before he remembers Will and stops himself, also glancing between his friend and Steve. It’s very touching that neither of them want to out him to the other.

“It’s okay,” he assures them.

That’s enough for Dustin, because he immediately pouts: “Just because Eddie’s your boyfriend now or whatever, doesn’t mean he’s not my friend.”

“Technically, I found him first,” Steve points out.

“But I didn’t know that!” Dustin exclaims. “You still have to hang out with me. Both of you. This is unfair.”

“Dating someone doesn’t mean dropping all your friends,” Steve rolls his eyes. “Of course we’re still going to hang out with you. I’ve had to sit both of your rambling about your little board game too much for either of you to give that up.”

“You know DnD isn’t a board game,” Dustin complains, but he’s smiling again as he sits on Eddie’s other side. He tells the sleeping form: “You better say hi to me when you wake up again.”

Steve snorts at that, but doesn’t tease Dustin further. He knows how Dustin felt about Eddie being in a coma. How badly he wanted the other to wake up. Dustin deserves to be a little huffy about not getting to say hi to him when he finally did woke up.

Will cautiously follows Dustin, unable to stop looking between Wayne, Steve and Eddie. It’s both adorable and heartbreaking. Steve wants to say something to him, but Dustin is there and Steve knows better than that.

Wayne also goes to sit back down and sags a little in his chair. The man must be exhausted, working the nights and spending the day here. An idea pops in Steve’s head and he says: “I’m getting some coffee while Eds is still asleep. Want me to bring you one too?”

“Hm? Ah, yeah, thank you,” Wayne says, startling a little from where he was nodding off.

Steve nods, then turns to Will, asking him: “Wanna help me carry, Will?”

Smart as he is, Will sees the offer for what it is and gratefully takes it, following Steve out of the room and down the hall. As always, leaving Eddie hurts, but knowing he’s awake makes it all the easier.

Instead of going to the cafeteria directly, Steve leads Will outside. Once in the privacy of the outdoors, Will bursts: “You and Eddie are dating?”

“Yeah, but it’s a new thing. We danced around each other until- Well, until it was nearly too late,” Steve tells him.

“You have a boyfriend,” Will says, more for himself, because he needs to hear it to believe it.

“I do,” Steve smiles giddily. He also almost can’t believe it either. With all the ups and downs he’s had in accepting himself, it’s almost unreal to be here. To have this. To be in a place where it doesn’t want to make him curl into a ball.

“How does it feel?” Will asks.

“Odd, but great,” Steve answers honestly. “It’s not really real yet. Having this.”

“So, uhm, you’re gay?” Will quietly asks, as if he knows he shouldn’t, but needs to know.

“I am. I’m gay, yeah,” Steve says, because Will needs to hear that even if it’s just once. He needs to have someone say it and it be okay. “I’m sorry about not talking to you last summer. You didn’t deserve that.”

Will looks to the ground, looking grateful but guilty as he kicks the dirt a little. He says: “I mean, I get it. You just got kicked out. Probably wasn’t a good time.”

“Nah, it wasn’t, but I was a bit of dick about it,” Steve shrugs easily. Thinking about that day still makes his heart constrict, but it’s getting easier with time. Easier with people around him, who do accept him.

“A bit,” Will gives in, sending Steve a small smile to tell him he doesn’t mean it.

They’re quiet for a second. Steve isn’t sure if more is coming, but he’s giving Will time. Everyone needs time with this.

After a minute or so, it seems like Will isn’t going to say anything. Steve is about to herd him back inside and get that coffee like they promised, when Will suddenly says: “I might be too, you know, uhm, gay.”

Steve has already known that, but he doesn’t say it. It can be terrifying to hear that you didn’t pass as straight and the only reason Steve even suspects is because Will let him see glimpses of himself that allude to it. So instead he says: “Thank you for trusting me with that,” as he pulls the kid into a hug.

Will goes easily, hugging Steve tightly. It makes his wounds twinge, but he doesn’t care.

It feels good to be in a place where he can hold Will. It hasn’t been easy to get here and there probably will be roadblocks ahead that he can’t foresee yet, but right now, he’s in a good space and he can be here for Will, like he couldn’t last summer. That’s already amazing.

They stand there for a bit until Will pulls back and clears his throat, obviously embarrassed. Steve gets it, so he just asks: “Anything you wanna know before we go back in?”

“Who knows?”

“That I’m…?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Robs – Robin – knows, Chris- Chrissy, too. Eddie of course, Dustin too and Wayne. I’m pretty sure Joyce and Hopper suspect, but I never confirmed. And I accidentally came out to Nancy, but I haven’t spoken with her since,” Steve lists.

“Can I talk to those people about it?” Will asks, sounding like he isn’t sure it’s a question he should be asking.

Steve can read between the lines and figure out, Will might want one of his own friends to talk about his struggles. Steve will always be his brother’s girlfriend’s ex, who is friends with his friends and who he has gotten to know. He never had Will under his wing during their run ins with the Upside Down, so they have a different connection.

“Course you can, kid,” Steve tells him, ruffling his hair. “Now let’s get that coffee before they start wondering where we are.”

Will looks lighter than he has in a long time as they walk back into the hospital to get the coffee for Steve and Wayne, as well as some snacks for Dustin and Will.

When they get back, Steve knows they’ve been gone a little too long for getting coffee. He meets Wayne’s eyes and nods to him as Wayne nods back, a bit of approval and understanding in his eyes that has pride swell in Steve’s chest.

Eddie is still asleep, but he’s sniffling and shuffling a little as he sleeps. It’s an infinite improvement to the stillness from before.

Things are looking up. Finally.

~~

A/N:

We’re finally here! Steve and Will buddies! It took so many chapters, but we’re here :D

[symbioticsimplicity]

I just remembered Billy Hargrove existed and I'm about to make it everyone's problem.

Okay, so first of all, I've only seen like bits and pieces of season 2 and none of season 1 so if I get things wrong, that's why. (I'll fix it eventually when I'm less sick and miserable.)

But Billy struck me as a lot of wasted potential. He was a foil for Steve, I get that, but I feel like they could have kept that up while still bringing him back around instead of killing him off.

Like yeah, he's got anger issues like a motherfucker, but they could have kept that while just giving him something to take it out on. Give me this big, pretty, asshole seeing his sister in danger (the sister he claims not to like and isn't very good to) from a nightmare monster, realizing his endless reserves of rage could save a life instead of take one.

Give the Party a goddamn berserker.

Like sure, he's not soft and motherly like Steve and none of them would ever go to him for life advice, but hes sure as shit made sure they didn't die often enough for them to at least tollerate him. Maybe he's even maimed a monster in a cool enough way for one of the kids to give him props for it. Imagine if that was the first time someone told him he'd done something worth being proud of.

The praise becomes the thing he lives for, even if its from a bunch of dumb kids. The kids who are all a lot smarter than anyone really wants them to be, who take notice of this. So they start praising him more.

They might not know what happens to him at home, but they know that kind of rage doesn't come from nowhere. Or, most of them don't know. Will and Jonathan who both survived an abusive father, clock him immediately.

Billy doesn't take kindly to pity though and he's too hurt and raw to really get close to. So they don't address it directly, they just keep giving him what they can and he keeps protecting them when its go time.

Billy and Steve have probably the weirdest relationship out of all of them. Steve is too mouthy to keep all of his thoughts to himself and he won't just let Billy be mean to the kids either. They nearly get into it whenever they're nearby each other if there isn't an immediate threat. Billy thinks Steve is spoiled and too soft and will take any excuse to throw hands with him. They're a mess.

It becomes common Party knowledge not to leave them alone together, which works right up until they get stuck together during a plan gone wrong.

They bitch at each other the whole time because it isnt the time or place to fist fight. Some harsh words get thrown around until a dig hits a little too close to home and forces some emotional honest out of Steve first. He snaps about how his life isn't the happy place people assume it should be, would he even be here if it was? He rants about how the only truly good thing he has going for him, the only real love he gets, is from those kids. That’s why he's still there, why he always will be, and why he'd die to protect them.

And Billy who's slowly been tamed down by their kindness and weird affection, he gets that at least. He doesn't say it, can't, his throat closes up whenever a real feeling comes over him, but he gets it.

After that he's not as hostile as he used to be. He's still sharp around the edges and he's still hurt, but he doesn’t want to cut every single person who touches him.

By the time season 3 comes around, he's the Party's big attack dog. Can be pet only by Party members and if anyone so much as looks at them wrong, he's ready to throw down.

He makes an effort with Max too. Tries to be more like a brother, and he finds out that he actually likes Max beneath the resentment for their circumstances. He figures out he wasn't really mad at her, but everything else. They bond over surprisingly similar interests and personalities. He loves her sharp wit and envies her ability to say things that could turn a person to ash on the spot. She's kind of a bitch and he can respect that.

When he gets possessed, the Party focus more on fixing him than just defeating him. El uses their own connection to help lend Billy the strength to fight back when she goes into his mind. He remembers that his life isn't a hopeless void anymore, that he has people to protect, people hes come to love as loathe as he is to admit it.

He fights with everything he has and frees himself from possession. It was hard on him and he passes out, spends a few days in the hospital unconscious, but he pulls through.

The kids are there to meet him when he wakes up. Max cries and hugs him and for the first time he feels like maybe he's worth a shit, like maybe he's worth loving.

[fizzigigsimmer]

i wanna hear about all your fics!! so bachelor au, blinding baby like city lights, news paper au and love aint fair at all!!

Ahh bless you nonny. Some of these are still just outlines but a few have chapters posted.

Starting with OUTLINES

The Bachelor Au: This is still one of my favorite ideas lol, born of my love of the insanity that is the bachelor franchise and the poorly concealed producer plants who are clearly just there for the drama. You can't tell me Billy wouldn't make a perfect Chad. The gist is Steve is the first Bisexual bachelor contestant. An icon, An American sweetheart looking for love. Robin and The Party are crew members and all the stranger things teens are contestants (Nancy, Chrissy, Eddie, Jason, Argyle, Heather) vying for his hand and represent various types of typical bachelor contestants. The funny ones, the good guys, the people there for clout, the people who somehow think they can get away with going on a dating show while still involved in a situationship back home, and the people who decide to do a reality show instead of go to therapy for their bag of issues. Billy is an instagram model hired by producers to be the seasons 'villian' and be hated by the audience. It's just supposed to be a free vacation where he gets to make some extra cash to be his most extra before he's finally sent home. But oops, they fall in love. Leaving them to figure out how they build a life together after the show when there are NDA's involved and they are the most hated ship in America.

Newspaper Club Au: This is a no upside down college fic featuring Billy/Nancy friendship, nerd!billy and jock!Steve. I haven't decided yet whether it's modern, 80s, or an ambiguous setting but the basic gist is the boys meet in college. Steve is there on a sports scholarship and chose California to follow Nancy, now his ex-girlfriend. Billy's an English major who works on the school paper with Nancy (one of his electives). He's pissed when she puts him on the sports column as it means he actually has to attend the games. He starts using the column to flirt with/aka harass swimmer Steve through increasingly ridiculous and suggestive commentary. The campus thinks it's a riot. Steve thinks Billy's an asshole and making him the butt of a joke just because he's a "dumb jock". Nancy plays matchmaker and also saves the integrity of her paper by finagling Billy into helping Steve write an essay for his English literature elective. Billy takes the opportunity to show him he was 1000 percent serious about wanting to know if his dick is even bigger out of the speedo.

Onto the POSTED fics

Blinding Baby Like City Lights: Is a dom/sub au where everyone is either a dominant, submissive, or switch. Basically some people need to dominate to stay balanced and others need to submit, or some mix of the two. And everyone responds differently to different things, creating many different 'types.' Naturally not all types are good for each other. Billy is a masochistic sub, has known it for a long time but wasn't safe to explore it growing up with an abusive sadist for a father. He's managed to claw his way out of his abusive home and become a successful business man who is often mistaken for a dom. He found family in Heather & Chrissy, but never a dominant he can trust enough to handle him and give him exactly what he needs. Steve's a recovering sadist. Too much privilege and neglectful parents lead him to some pretty unhealthy and toxic tendencies in his relationship with his first love Nancy. Losing his sub nearly broke him, but he broke good and has been rebuilding his life with his best friend Robin for the last few years. He just wants to take care of people by making good food, and find someone he can take care of always, without having to be afraid of his own desires. Steve might just be perfect for Billy, and Billy might just be what Steve needs to finally embrace who he is.

*** EDIT

When you have so many WIPs you confuse two of them.

Love Aint Fair At All: Werewolf au + a/b/o dynamics. This is a retelling of Snow White that takes place in an alternate version of Hawkins where magic exists. Some peoples magic makes them Wolf Shifters (people who are born with the ability to turn into wolves) and others use their magic to bend the external elements, these people are called Hags. Steve lives in the Cold Zone, a portion of the country that is suffering under a powerful Hags curse. Billy is a Wolf Shifter, exiled from their former pack in California, he and Neil make their way as huntsmen for hire. But everything goes to shit wen Neil brings the family to Hawkins to serve Steve's cousin Elsie, a powerful and mysterious Hag whose obsession with beauty and power threatens to cover the world in ice. The only thing holding her at bay is an old curse that limits her powers and a prophecy that promised one day an omega child would be born who was fairer than her. Good thing Steve is a perfectly normal bland beta boy - until he isn't.

[willel]

I hope they explore more will dynamics in s5 since in seasons 2-4 we mostly see him interacting with the same people (exluding s1 since he was stuck in the upside-down for most of it). It makes sense for his character since compared to the rest of the party he's quieter and more introverted but still. In s2 he's mostly seen interacting with joyce, Jonathan, Mike, Dustin and Lucas with a few others but mainly these 5 and maybe hopper and even though max was introduced this season we don't get to see that much with them. In s3 will mostly interacts with the same people and compared to the rest of the party he doesn't really interact with characters like Steve, Nancy, Robin or El and he interacts with max a bit more but still not that much. In s4 the byers moved to California and we get to see him interact with el but other then her and I guess argyle (Suzie and Murray too but those are very breif) he mostly sticks to the same people again. He was also the only og party member to not really bring anyone in since Dustin, Lucas and Mike (but mostly mike) brought el into the party in s1 while it was mostly Dustin and Lucas bringing max into the party in s2. Sorry if I ranted in your inbox but this just popped into my head

I think the main problem is that he's quiet and introverted. He's not just gonna immediately start vibing with people like Steve or Robin for example, he'll need some time. I can see him getting along fine with Nancy though, he's known her for many years so he wouldn't feel that awkward about it. Plus she's dating his brother.

If the whole team is going to be less segmented this year, maybe Will will be getting a lot of time with his siblings (Jonathan and El) and in doing so, he'll get to spend a lot of time with Nancy?

Nancy is the only one on that hill that can tell all of them exactly what happened while they were all away. Nancy, being the smart lady she is, can also probably put the pieces together and realize Will is in danger just like Max was.

We only got a little bit of Nancy and Max content, but I really love that exchange they sorta had.

Max: Try not to miss. Nancy, later: I won't miss.

She's even directly confronted Vecna multiple times now. Would be cool if she took an older sister stance like "Nah. I'm joining the Will Byers protection squad and I won't let Vecna touch him. -loads gun-"

That would also be a shame though cause we'd end up with Nancy acting like more of an older sister towards Will than her own little brother so I dunno about that 😂

If my theory about Will being able to go into Vecna's mind and interacting with the souls trapped there is true, I think that could introduce a lot of opportunities for Will and Max scenes. At least a couple of them, if he's able to act as the liaison between her and the real world. They made a point to show that El couldn't find her, but maybe Will can? Max and Will have a lot of the same grief regarding their family life (though luckily Will's big bro isn't an asshole towards him), would be nice if that gets acknowledged.

If Will and Robin gets some scenes together, firstly, I hope it doesn't overpower and scenes with Jonathan. Like, I want Will to come out to Jonathan or Joyce first period end of story. But it would be interesting if we got indications that Robin is picking up on signals Will isn't even aware he's putting out and goes out of her way to try to be friendly with him? Like the extroverted kid adopting the shy kid dynamic. But Robin herself is in the closet and is terrified of being exposed so I don't think she'd go out of her way to be super obvious that she knows or cause him more anxiety than he already has.

LUCAS. I DEMAND LUCAS AND WILL SCENES END OF STORY. LUCAS, EL, AND WILL ALL TRYING TO SAVE MAX FROM VECNA. I NEED IT NOW. LUCAS AND WILL HUG NOW

It would also be really cool if Dustin and Will were the dnd consultants and had discussions on theories with each other. Other than Dustin, Will is the most invested in dnd. Like I know he gave away his manuals and whatnot, but he obviously still loves it dearly. I would like to see Dustin turning to Will for his opinion to see if Will's knowledge on Vecna lines up with some kind of dnd lore or rules. Or Will suggesting something and Dustin backing him up. Stuff like that.

There are many opportunities to be had here, but who knows if they'll actually follow through.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Territory Getting Hotter

Pairing: Carol Danvers x enhanced!Fem Reader

Words: ~2.9k

Summary: You’ve made another mess for the Avengers and they find out about your relationship with Captain Danvers

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (fe receiving oral sex, use of toys, squirting, overstimulation, light dom aspects), mentions of canon level violence, SMUT!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: I love these two!!! Dom!Carol is it you guys, wow. Also, reader is such a massive pain in the ass and I love her for it, I can’t wait to piss off every single Avenger with her antics.

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist here!

You beamed at Carol when she walked into the kitchen, still bleary eyed from sleep as she stretched and ran a hand through her hair.

“Hey babe!” You grinned at her. “Guess who made pancakes?”

“You’re the best sweetie.” She murmured, wrapping around your back and nuzzling into your hair. “We’ll make a housewife out of you yet.”

You laughed as she moved to pour herself some coffee when there was a sudden pounding on the front door.

“Danvers!!” A low voice shouted through the door. “Open up, its Rogers!!”

“Shit!” She hissed, looking around frantically as she tried to find someplace to stash you.

“Would you relax?” You said as you rolled your eyes at her. “He has to find out sometime.”

“Yeah, but not today! He already sounds pissed. One second!!” She shouted back, throwing on some sweats. “Just find somewhere to hide, I don’t feel like dealing with this today.”

She moved to open the door as you shook your head at her, weighing your hiding place options.

“Hey Steve, what’s up?” She said, nonchalantly as she let him inside.

“What’s up? Have you watched the news yet this morning?” He seethed as he stormed into the kitchen.

“Oh no. What did she do?” Carol said, taking a deep breath and cursing you in her head for whatever shit storm you’d started now.

“I can’t even talk about it, I’m so mad.” He growled, moving to pour himself a cup of coffee without even asking. “Even Stark was pissed, and he’s usually pretty lenient.”

“Uh-huh.” Carol said as she chewed on her lip and nibbled on a piece of bacon.

“She managed to drag Thor into it, too. We may have to move her to a full time handler, one that she can’t corrupt.” He said, starting to calm down a little bit. “We’re having a meeting about it in 30 minutes, just wanted you to be prepared. How would you feel about taking her on?”

Carol heard a snort from somewhere in the apartment and did her best not to whip around to find you. Unfortunately Steve heard it to with his damn super soldier hearing.

“What was that?” He hissed, his eyes darting all over the quarters.

“Uh, my smoke alarm’s been acting up.” Carol muttered, trying to usher him out the door. “I’ll think about it, see you soon!”

She slammed the door closed and started searching for you.

“What the fuck did you do, baby?” She asked, scanning the apartment for you.

“Y’know, I think I’m gonna leave that for a surprise.” She heard from above her head and shot her gaze upwards.

You had somehow managed to wedge yourself into a tiny corner in the ceiling of the hallway leading to her bedroom. She was giving you a disapproving look as you dropped to the floor with a grunt and grinned at her.

“You think you can handle me babe?” You said as you moved to the bedroom to get dressed.

——————————————————————————

The two of you were sitting across from each other in the conference room half an hour later, trying to act like you didn’t fuck each other’s brains out every chance you got.

Or, at least Carol was. You were sliding your foot up the inside of her leg as she glared murderously at you and you just grinned like an idiot. She shook her head at you and turned to look at the giant screen where Tony was pulling up the surveillance footage as the rest of the team gave you exasperated glances.

“Oh, here we go, we’re getting to the good part.” Tony said, giving you a meaningful look as he slowed the footage down. “Now who’s this guy you just punched in the face and then threw across the club like a rag doll?”

“I think that’s the Duke of Edinburgh.” You said with a shrug, leaning back in your chair.

“No, that’s the Duke of Sussex, y’know, the queen’s nephew.” Nat said as she took a long drink of her coffee, looking exhausted.

“Oh shit, really?” You said, still grinning like an idiot. “Whoops.”

“And wait, here’s where Point Break blows all the lights in the club, which he says was your idea, so the two of you can make a run for it.” Stark said when the video suddenly went black.

“We weren’t making a run for it, we were pursuing our suspect.” You said, staring daggers at Thor as he tried to sink into his chair.

“Uh-huh, and did you catch your suspect?” Steve said through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, he’s in holding right now.” You said with a shrug.

“What?! Why wasn’t that in your report?” Rogers said as he started to dig through the pile of paperwork in front of him.

“I haven’t completed the report yet, Captain Rogers.” You said lightly. “I made sure to update Captain Danvers though.”

“Let’s not get off track, this is about you assaulting a member of the royal family.” Tony said as he tried to redirect the conversation.

“He assaulted me first! He grabbed my ass and made some very ungentlemanly comments about what he would do if he got me in his car.” You said, pouting as you rested your head on your hands.

“He did grab her ass, Stark. I saw it.” Thor piped up before Rogers shot him a look and he went back to inspecting his coffee.

“So you threw him? That seems like a bit of an overreaction.” Tony said with an uncomfortable shrug.

“It’s a reflex, Stark.” You said, your eyes rolling back in your head as the other women frowned at him. “Sorry, I don’t think putting up with sexual harassment is in my job description.”

“Ok, ok fine. Nat, is there anyway you can spin this?” Stark said, turning to Romanoff as she let out a deep sigh.

“Yeah, the man is a pretty notorious dog, shouldn’t be too hard.” She muttered.

“Great! Excellent meeting team, see y’all at the next one!” You said, starting to stand up before Steve turned his attention to you.

“No, we still need to discuss your recklessness, Y/L/N.” He seethed, shooting you a scowl that you returned with a mocking air that had Carol trying to hold back a snort. “I’ve thought about it a lot and I think the best course is to have you under more direct supervision. I considered splitting up you and Odinson but I feel like that would just spread the chaos around after how much you’ve corrupted him.”

You shot a grin and a wink at Thor that he returned as the two of you finally relaxed, but Steve was still talking.

“So, Danvers is going to be accompanying you on your missions now. I feel like her levelheaded attitude is just what’s needed to keep you two in line.” He said with a satisfied smirk.

“Uh, you sure Danvers is the best choice there, Cap?” Tony said whole Nat snickered into her coffee.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t she be?” Steve said as he looked around at everyone’s amused expressions with confusion.

“They’re fucking each other Steve.” Nat said nonchalantly, sending Steve into a spluttering fit as you started cackling and Carol just rolled her eyes and groaned.

“What?!” Rogers roared, his eyes moving frantically between you and Carol as you grinned at him like an idiot. “How long has this been happening?”

“Six months.” Carol said resignedly, taking a gulp of coffee as she shrugged uncomfortably. “Didn’t really feel like dealing with the paperwork.”

“Si... six months?” Steve groaned, burying his face in his hands. “And you didn’t think that might be a conflict of interest?”

“Don’t worry Cap, Danvers is quite the disciplinarian.” You said with a wicked grin as you waggled your eyebrows suggestively.

Carol growled at you and gave you a meaningful look, and you just rolled your eyes at her before leaning back on your chair and propping your boots on the conference table.

“Well... shit.” Steve sighed, running his palm over his face in exasperation. “I guess Bucky can probably oversee some of your ops, and I’ll take over the rest of them. What?”

You and Thor both groaned at that, rolling your eyes at each other.

“Just, Barnes? Could you pick a bigger stick in the mud?” You said with a shrug. “I mean, we get it dude. You were tortured by evil scientists for years who turned you into a mindless killing machine, who wasn’t? And, I love you Steve, but do you even drink?”

“Ok, we’re gonna head out now.” Carol said as she frowned at you, stepping between you and Steve before a real fight broke out. “Guess we’ll report to HR as soon as we can.”

“Uh-huh.” Rogers mumbled, pouting a little as she ushered you out of the room.

Nat followed after the two of you lazily, shaking her head at Steve and Tony as Stark and Thor tried to assure the Captain that he was loads of fun to be around and a blast at all their parties.

“Congrats again you two.” She said with a grin as she split down a different hallway to her own quarters.

“Thanks Nat! You ever gonna tell him about you and Wilson?” You yelled after her, laughing when she flipped you off over her shoulder. “Told ya they knew, babe.”

“Yeah.” She mumbled before grinning at you. “So, you beat up a royal?”

“Shit. In my defense, I didn’t know he was a royal until after I threw him.” You said, following her down the hall back to her apartment. “I thought he was just a smarmy asshole.”

“That’s the problem, sweetheart.” She purred over her shoulder. “You never consider the consequences of your actions.”

“That’s all I think about, babe.” You said with a wicked grin as you waited for her to open the door.

“And now you’re dragging poor Thor into your messes.” She tutted, shaking her head at you as she closed the door and stripped off her jacket. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you had a little crush on that himbo.”

“If you didn’t know better?” You beamed at her, starting to unbutton your jeans and step out of your boots. “Honey, he’s a literal god. I have a massive crush on him.”

“Oh, are you trying to make me jealous?” She ripped off her tank top and threw it aside. “Cuz I’m already pissed at you.”

“Yeah? What’re you gonna do about it?”

She stepped forward and gripped your jaw tightly, smashing her mouth to yours as she started steering you towards the bedroom. You yelped when she tossed you on the bed, grinning as she climbed on top of you.

“You’re such a bad girl.” She growled at you, ripping your bra off in one quick motion.

You screamed when she slapped your tit harshly, the stinging sensation warming your chest while she bent to open the top drawer of the nightstand.

“I am. I’m fucking horrible.” You gasped as she rifled around. “What are you doing?”

She grinned at you as she straightened back up, holding a set of extra shiny looking restraints.

“These are vibranium.” She cooed as she grabbed your wrists and dragged them above your head, hooking them through the headboard as you panted underneath her. “I stole them from R and D, and there’s no way even you can break out of them.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” You said around a smirk, giving your hands a test yank and nodding appreciatively as Carol shackled each of your feet to the opposing bedposts.

She bit her lip as she stared at you, your legs spread wide over the bed and making your back arch. You moaned as she tore off your panties and slapped your pussy, your muscles twitching as arousal seeped out of you.

“Mmm, you look so good like this.” She mumbled, sliding down until she was laying between your thighs. “Can’t decide whether I should edge you all night or make you come so many times you forget your own name.”

She ran her tongue over your slit in a heavy stripe and you let out a shriek as you came as soon as she reached your clit. She pressed your hips into the mattress as she lashed her tongue against your bundle of nerves, making your legs quiver with the strain of your orgasm.

“Looks like you made my decision for me.” She grinned at you before diving back in.

Her tongue swirled through your folds expertly, sucking your lips into your mouth and humming against you as your pussy started clenching around nothing. She wrapped her lips around your clit and you came again with a sob as your limbs pulled against the restraints, your body trying to arch off the bed.

She shoved her tongue inside you and you screamed as another orgasm crashed over you when her teeth brushed against your tiny bundle of nerves. Carol kept curling her tongue inside you as you vibrated underneath her, moaning as your release flowed into her mouth and soaked her chin.

“Fuck, Carol!” You whined as she sat up between your legs and lightly ran her fingers over your inner thighs. “That was almost too much.”

“Oh, we’re not done yet.” She smirked as she watched you panting underneath her, reaching for the bedside table again while you squirmed.

“Hey!” you exclaimed as she pulled out a massive dildo from the drawer of toys. “Is that my stormbreaker? I’ve been looking for that!”

“Yeah, well I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” She murmured before dragging the length on the thing through your slick coated folds, making you keen. “Did you know this thing comes with a thruster?”

“Yeah, why do you think I bought it?” You teased before your eyes rolled back in your head as she shoved it inside you.

She started fucking you with the toy at a punishing pace, grinning as you came apart like putty in her hands. Tears started leaking down your cheeks when she turned the vibrating function on and angled it so it was teasing against your clit with each push.

You whined as she bent over you and wrapped her lips around your nipple and swirled her tongue around it. She grinned against your chest as you tried to arch into her mouth, your restraints still holding you in place.

“Mmm, you gonna come again baby?” She muttered, nipping at the curve of your breast as your body started twitching, your release looming over you as you sobbed wordlessly. “Do it, you look so pretty when you fall apart.”

She twisted her wrist and you shrieked as your pussy fluttered wildly, your release leaking out around the dildo and pooling on her sheets. Your cried as she kept fucking you through it, wet sloshing sounds filling her bedroom as the toy slid in and out of you easily.

You let out an inhuman wail when she turned on the thruster and you felt the tip of the toy punch you in the cervix, coming again immediately as your body writhed wildly.

“Shit, I see why you love this thing.” She smirked as she kissed her way up your chest, still shoving the toy into your overworked cunt as your body went lax, your head polling to the side and drool leaking from the corner of your mouth. “You think about Thor fucking you when you use this, babe? Maybe I should bring him in here to fuck you stupid while I watch, would you like that?”

You just mumbled stupidly as your body shook with another orgasm, sinking into the bed in your fucked out state. Her slap snapped you out of it, making you take in a sharp breath as your brain rebooted.

“I asked you a question.” She growled as she twisted the toy again and you let out a low moan.

“I feel like this might be a trap.” You gasped as she palmed at your breast and laid down against your shoulder, still thrusting the toy into you viciously.

“That sounds like a yes to me.” She purred, nuzzling into your neck as she gave the toy a final push.

You screamed as she pulled it out of you suddenly, your release squirting out of you in a violent rush. Your body thrashed violently with the power of your orgasm and Carol cursed as you snapped her headboard and bedposts, the bed frame shuddering before one of the legs gave out and it sank to the floor with a crash.

“Holy fuck, you ok?” She asked, sitting up and grinning at you as she assessed the damage you’d caused.

“Yeah.” You said, swallowing thickly as you moved your limbs with a groan. “At least we know the cuffs work! Sorry about your bed.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She murmured, grabbing the key and unlocking the restraints before pulling you back against her chest. “We’ll just use yours I guess.”

“Are you gonna move in with me? I think that may give Rogers an aneurysm.”

“He’ll get over it.” She shrugged as you nuzzled into her chest. “Now, how do you think we should approach Thor?”

“What?! You were serious?”

——————————————————————————

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[roger-that-cap]

cardigan

natasha romanoff x f!reader

word count: 8.9k (haha)

warnings: swearing, cheating!natasha, sad!reader, uhm this is angsty for me, asshole!natasha, sort of asshole!team, more angst, sort of happy ending sort of, secrets™️

this is inspired by taylor swift’s cardigan. folklore and evermore are really getting me through this i swear

obviously i do not own this song, picture, or any of the warped lyrics that i attempted to slide in as creatively possible :) this is also my first one shot and my first reader insert ever- i tried to not go into any physical details about miss y/n but i hope y’all like it!

No editor. All mistakes are 100% mine!

You couldn’t have been any more excited to see Natasha. She had been gone for what felt like forever on a mission with Steve, Bucky, and some agent that was on her first big mission, a girl that you recalled to be named Abigail. Regardless of what her name was, they were all heading home today after so long, nearly two months.

There was no telling how much you were ready for the return of your fiancée. The two of you had promised to get married nine months ago, and you were already deep into planning. You were going to your dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s (your literal childhood wish) in two days. You had the venue picked, the table accessories done, the seating chart already filled out and sitting pretty in laminated sheets in a binder. The day was going to be perfect, and it was what you and Natasha deserved after so long. Especially Natasha, after every single thing that she had been through just to save the world and to help those who weren’t able to help themselves.

Natasha was your angel.

Your heart was racing in your chest as you waited for the quinjet to land, the ring feeling light on your left finger as you rolled back and forth on your feet. You couldn’t hold back a toothy grin as you waited for them to fly back in, and to hug Natasha again. That was the most important part. To have her back in your arms so that you could do things like stay in together for the weekend and stay holed up in their room just doing innocent things, like counting each other’s heartbeats.

You stood with your hands clasped in front of your body as they landed, a dopey grin on your face and the same nervous glint in your eye that was there every time that you waited for your fiancée to come back home. You knew that Natasha would always find her way back to you, but there was no telling what condition she would be in.

The moment the doors opened, Abigail ran through them, and down the ramps nearly knocking you over. You reached your arms out to steady the other girl, who looked like she was about to burst into tears at any second. As much as you wanted to just hug Natasha and go home after you ate and sleep in bed with her, you couldn’t leave a girl in tears like that without checking on her. “Woah, are you okay, sweetie?”

The girl’s bottom lip jutted out, like she was about to cry just because of you asking the question. She didn’t say anything, but she was obviously falling apart from the inside, and it made you more than mildly concerned. You didn’t like to see anyone cry, let alone a girl who had just come back from her first big mission. “I’m fine.” Her voice cracked.

“Are you sure?” You were no medic or super soldier or even assassin-spy, but you were nothing if not rational and sympathetic. You were so in tune to the poor girl that you didn’t feel the palpable awkwardness of everyone else who walked off of the quinjet, almost all of them cringing. “Do you need to talk to someone?”

“I- I’m sorry,” Abigail said, and she was running away from you faster than you had ever seen anyone run before.

You frowned as you watched her run. “I hope she’s alright, poor thing. I can’t imagine how a first mission feels,” you murmured, turning around and seeing the slightly spooked eyes of the rest of the team. You smiled at them cautiously and walked over to Natasha, arms already raised as you went to embrace her tightly. You breathed in and put your face in her neck, nearly crying tears of joy as you smelled her shampoo, a rich scent that meant the safety and comfort of them both. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”

You were so happy to hold your fiancée again that you almost didn’t notice how standoffish she was being, and her lack of enthusiasm. She had never been not enthusiastic to see you, especially after going so long without seeing each other. After too long of her not reacting to your warm embrace by kissing your hair or murmuring her usual missed you, princessa, you pulled away and looked at her, a questioning look on your face. “Are you okay, my love?”

Natasha stepped back, not looking you in the eyes and choosing to just smooth out the sleeves of her combat attire, eyes on the floor. That was very unlike her. Something must have gone terribly wrong. “I just want to get home.”

Your vibe visibly deteriorated. It was obvious that Natasha had just popped your bubble and left it as an empty shell, but you were still smiling anyway. Like you always did. “Okay, Nat. We can do that.” You reached out for Natasha’s hand and grabbed it after waving goodbye to the other team members, who all looked either extremely displeased or like they had been caught doing something very awkward.

You walked back to your part of the tower together in silence that wasn’t characteristic of the two of you. You were a known chatterbox, happy and always starting meaningful conversations, but also one of the best listeners to ever grace the earth. Natasha liked to listen, too, and she had the best words and the best voice to listen to. One of them was always talking. The silence between them was almost haunting.

Natasha went straight into the shower. She didn’t offer for you to go in with her, which was what the two of you always did after a mission. You got to see Natasha at her most vulnerable, and Natasha was finally allowed to let down the shroud of strength that only lasted for so long without being damaging. It was the thing that kept you close and often the action that got Natasha to open up about what happened and how she truly felt. Natasha skipping out on that time hurt you and made you expect the worst. 

She turned the lights off the minute that she was out of the shower, not speaking to you or even offering any physical assurance, which was something that Natasha knew that you needed after she came home.

You just prayed that she would be ready to talk in the morning.

§§§

Natasha wasn’t there when you woke up. You frowned and patted the empty spot in the bed beside you even though you knew that she was probably at the gym or running around doing errands. You sighed and crawled out of bed, doing the daily routine that you usually did with Natasha, and leaving the room to go make some breakfast.

There were whispers that hissed like snakes when you came around the corner, and they came to a screeching halt when you bounced into the room. You grinned at everyone sitting or standing in the kitchen, ignoring their deer-in-headlights looks and searching for the woman you were set to get married to. You frowned a bit when there was no sign of her.

“Good morning!” You hummed out anyways, going towards the pantry once you saw that no one had made food yet. Because you were staying there and you had no other skills, you had been the one to take up personal chef for the entire team just to pull some weight, even though they insisted that you didn’t need to do a thing. As long as you “kept Nat happy”, they said. 

It took a second for any of them to respond. “Good morning,” Steve said, his voice oddly clinical for the way he usual greeted you. He was the morning person of the bunch, and probably your closest friend other than Wanda. 

You took the supplies out of the pantry with a thoughtful look on your face. “I’m not trying to pry,” you started softly, back still towards them as you started with the pancake mix. “But, was the mission bad?” No one spoke for a few heavy moments. 

“We succeeded,” Bucky finally stated vaguely, his voice floating through the room.

You never the type to spill all of your personal business to people, but these people weren’t just anyone. These were your closest friends, the people who were going to be in the wedding, either in one bridal party or the other’s. “Nat’s not talking to me,” you sighed out, and turned around to see all of them stiff as boards. “Was it hard for her?”

No one said anything.

You pursed your lips and turned your back to them again, looking away from them to gathered your thoughts for a second. You took in a deep breath and told yourself not to pry, not to think about what Natasha would surely tell you when she was ready. You turned your head and gave them your trademark grin. “Who wants blueberries in their pancakes?”

§§§

You sat in your shared room after a full day of Natasha blatantly ignoring and avoiding you. You were patient, because that was what you had to be to date an Avenger, but Natasha had never straight up ignored you before. You learned very quickly that it called for a different type of patience than the one you were used to.

   In the kitchen when she was forced to be present after you cooked a huge welcome home meal, she didn’t hug on you or kiss your cheek or even look you in the eyes. It wasn’t like her. You came to the tough conclusion that it wasn’t because of the mission, because she had never done that before, not even after the one where the children were caught in the crossfire. You were always the one that she talked to, no matter what.

The lamp light was the only light on in the room, because you knew that Natasha liked it better that way. Maybe less light would make her open up a bit, and the two of you would finally see eye to eye after the annoying stalemate that felt eternal.

You didn’t know how long Natasha would take come back and speak, but you knew that it wouldn’t be too long. Natasha liked to talk, and she had said multiple times that she liked to talk to you the most. It would be any time, right? That’s what you thought until the hours crept by, and you saw and heard no sign of anything. Not even the ding of an elevator or the shutting of a door, or her soft footsteps that she made on purpose because her natural steps were so quiet that she scared you when she appeared. 

When Natasha finally came in, it was late in the night, morning time. Three in the morning, to be exact. You shook off your nerves and smiled at her, and the smile wasn’t returned as much as it should have been. “Hi,” you said, almost a little star struck by finally seeing her. It brought you back to the time you didn’t truly know her. 

You had always admired Natasha. Not even because of her being Black Widow, but because she was Natasha Romanoff, an enemy spy and assassin turned good. And it brought you pure joy knowing that you would soon be taking on her last name, which you secretly thought of as your greatest achievement. Natasha was the one you wanted with for life, and you were steps closer. 

You waited to hear Natasha’s voice. You waited in anticipation for her to run to you and start to spill immediately. You were waiting to wipe her tears and assure her that it wasn’t her fault, and that she couldn’t have done anything differently. “Hi.”

You frowned. Confusion flooded your senses at the short greeting. “Huh?”

“Why are you up?” Her tone sounded almost accusatory, like she had caught you doing something that you weren’t supposed to do, like you were intruding on her time. The frown on your face turned into a slight scowl, and then you reminded yourself that patience was key with Natasha.

“I’m allowed to wait up for my future wife,” you teased, but the look in your eye was serious. You could see how the red head lingered at the doorway, like she was trying to decide whether to bolt or leave with grace. You weren’t going to give her enough time to make the decision. Come sit, please.” When Natasha didn’t move an inch, your facial expression fell. “Please.”

Natasha walked over to the bed slowly, like she was being forced to move or die. You shook your head side to side, eyeing her up and down like the answer to the problem that you didn’t know yet was written on her body somewhere. “I’m here,” she said quietly, like a distant whisper.

“Are you really?” You asked quietly, and it felt like your voice echoed like the beating of drums in the nearly silent room. “Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

“Nothing happened.”

You knew that you shouldn’t pry. You both hated prying, but you were also both naturally transparent. You two had never truly had to pry with each other before. The truth was, you didn’t know how far you could push until she snapped on you. “Are you sure?”

Like someone had flipped a switch, a small smile lit up on Natasha’s face. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to sate you for a while. “Yes, princessa. I’m very sure. I’m tired.”

That was all it took. All it took was Natasha muttering the sweet nickname to you, and it was all as good as talked about. You could rest for a moment.

“Then we can go to bed, my love.” You reached out to touch Natasha’s face, loving the familiar feeling of her soft skin. “You know, you don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me anything, Nattie.”

You stared at Natasha for a while, just admiring her face and everything about it, almost missing the way that she didn’t do it back. This was something that you two did nearly every night before going to sleep- you just watched each other. A slow, dopey grin slid onto your face, and then you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her nose, then her cheek, and then to her pink lips in a soft yet passionate kiss, as soft as rose petals.

You pulled away and smiled at her with your eyes closed, nuzzling your face into her neck. You took in a deep breath, inhaling her sweet smell and feeling the comfort was over you like waves in the ocean. You could have told her a thousand things in that instant, but they all revolves around one master idea. “I love you so much, Natasha.”

You brushed a red strand of hair out of her face before reaching up to kiss her forehead, and then you were back in her neck, trying to sleep.

There was no response, just Natasha’s arm’s getting tighter around you and squeezing three times, each harder and shakier than the last. That was all it took for you to fall asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you recalled having a dream that featured a woman crying, the sound distant yet close.

§§§

You had a feeling that Natasha was going to do the exact same thing that she did the first time, and you assumed correctly. You took it in stride this time and went to the flower store to pick out your bouquet that you would walk with, and probably throw. It was something that you wanted to do on your own, anyway. Like most brides, you didn’t want your future spouse seeing anything that you were going to be wearing until the big day. Not even the veil or the flowers that you would be carrying.

“That’s gorgeous!” You grinned at the employee, who mirrored your excited look. “That’s perfect, she’ll love it.”

While you gushed about your flowers, you also wondered if Natasha was doing a bouquet, too. You hoped that she had someone that would help her out with it, maybe Sharon or Wanda. Natasha wasn’t really big on the planning of the wedding. In fact, she wanted it much smaller than it was going to be, but you had convinced her to do it your way. Maybe it was your natural charm that helped you swindle the spy, or perhaps it was because she just secretely wanted the same thing.

As you walked away from the flower shop after placing the order, you walked by the busy donut shop that Natasha loved going to. Usually, it would be Natasha that stopped by and brought you some donuts, but maybe the other way around would be enough to make the red headed woman smile a bit. You stopped for a second and then didn’t hesitate to go in, pulling out a couple dollars for a tip, too.

Natasha loved chocolate donuts, even though she tried to resist eating them. You liked glazed better, but it was alright. You’d buy chocolate for her. You had hope that they would get Natasha to open up just a little, as dumb as it sounded. But a bribe never went wrong, and what was the harm in donuts?

“Thank you, Sarah,” you said after you got the box of donuts, walking out of the sweet smelling shop and down the street towards the tower.

When you got back, it was loud. It usually was pretty loud, with everyone and everything going on, but this was a different type of loud. It wasn’t the tinkering of metal in the lab or the sounds of sparring or elevators going up and down. It was shouting. A full on shouting match that was loud enough to be heard from floors down was happening. You nearly dropped the box of donuts as you hurriedly pressed the level that you and Natasha stayed on, hoping to find her in the room and out of the fight. The ride up the elevator was almost too full of anticipation as you waited in what would have been silence, if not for the yelling.

“No, because you can’t control yourself!” The voice was now obviously Steve’s. You were shocked. You had never heard Steve so riled up, ever. It was out of character for him to be so angry at someone, even if that particular someone fucked up royally. “You did something stupid, and now you’ll own up to it. Simple.”

“I fucking can’t!” You frowned. That was without a doubt Natasha. “I can’t, not right now. So fuck off.”

“I can’t fuck off after you’ve done something like this, Romanoff.” You winced as the elevator doors opened. Steve didn’t use Natasha’s last name anymore, not since they got close. And he certainly didn’t use the f-bomb much. “This is… it’s beyond-”

“What happened?” You shoved the donuts into Sam’s waiting hands, which were open for business when he saw you coming out of the elevator. “What’s all the yelling for?”

Everyone was staring at you like you were a ghost that wasn’t supposed to show up even though they had called on you. No one had an immediate answer, and so you put your hands on your hips. “Is everything okay?”

Tony looked at Natasha with sharp eyes and took a step back, raising his palms. “On you.”

It took a second for Natasha to say anything to you, and it was clear that everyone was waiting for something. It was even more clear that everyone was equally pissed at Natasha, for whatever reason.

“Everything is just fine, princessa.” Natasha’s voice carried over to your ears, smooth as honey, even though she wasn’t looking up into your eyes. “Don’t worry.”

You didn’t really believe it. How could you? She wasn’t talking to you, she wasn’t lying with you, she wasn’t counting your heartbeats like you did with her. There was something wrong, something had to be for Steve to be yelling like that, in front of everyone else. You eyed Natasha for a few extra seconds and then took the donuts back, muttering a thanks to Sam.

“Alright.” As if seeing the box made you remember why you went out in the first place, your trademark grin was back. “I ordered my bouquet today,” you hummed, walking up to Natasha and planting a kiss on her lips. When you pulled away, you murmured the customary I love you under your breath, like you two did every time you kissed. The one who initiated the kiss would say it first, and it would be answered by a quick “always”.

“A-always. Oh?” You realized that Natasha’s voice fluttered when she said it.

“Yeah, you can’t see which one, though.” You winked at her playfully, trying to ignore the way that the others looked mildly uncomfortable. You were used to uncomfortable looks, but never from them. You knew that it wasn’t homophobia, because they were never that way. So their behavior ran deeper than that. What the fuck happened? “My dress appointment is tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

You were too busy getting a donut from the box to see the looks that everyone else shared when you spoke again. “How’s the girl who went on the mission with you? She seemed a little upset when you guys came back.”

Natasha’s hair nearly bounced with how high she shot up, her body going straight at the mention of the other girl. She looked away from your eyes for a split second, and then back. “Fine.”

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, eyes on Natasha. “Is she good with fashion? Maybe seeing dresses and all that would make her feel a little better.”

Natasha looked horrified as she realized what you were insinuating. “No. No, she’s fine. She doesn’t need to be invited anywhere.”

“It’s just to sit and watch me try on dresses. Wanda, Sharon, and Pepper are going, right?” You looked towards Tony to confirm, and he nodded his head firmly before looking at Natasha again, a serious look in his eyes. “Maybe Abigail can go.”

“No. She’s not going.” There was something in Natasha’s tone that sounded so final, so adamant, that you knew in your heart to just drop it. It saved you both in that moment.

That didn’t mean that you weren’t allowed to make a face of disapproval. “That’s not nice at all, Nattie. I hope you weren’t the reason she was crying. You’re known to be a little mean.”

Natasha looked away from you, taking a step back. Her eyebrow was twitching, a sign of stress that you picked up on like it was your own. “I have to go.”

“Wait, I got these for-” Natasha left in a hurry, so fast that you barely even registered that she had left. She left awkwardness in her absence. “Well, she can eat them later. Feel free to have some, guys, just save one or two for her, okay?”

They were all quiet for a few seconds, like they were in the midst of a special moment where they were all feeling the same thing, everyone in the room except for you. Finally, Wanda spoke. “Okay, Y/N.” You smiled at them, gave them all sweet hugs, and left.

§§§

You were bursting at the seams at being seen for a dress appointment at Kleinfeld’s. Wanda was with you, and so were Sharon and Pepper. They were excited for you, but no one matched your energy.

You were a girl finally getting what she had been dreaming of her whole life; to get married in a beautiful dress to the person she loved. You would soon be walking down the isle to see Natasha waiting for you, flanked by everyone else that was ever important to them.

You must have been the luckiest woman in the world.

“You’re really excited,” Sharon mused, but it was more of an observation than a statement.

“I’m so excited,” you confirmed. “I’m marrying the love of my life in what’s going to be my dream dress, I know it.” You grinned as the four of you watched people bustling around the shop. There was a bride near tears, just like on the TV episodes, and you watched fondly. Seeing people get what they wanted made you happy.

The search for the perfect dress went nothing less than perfectly. Within the first two sweeps, you managed to get into a dress that everyone thought was perfect for you, and you loved it, too. It even brought the three out of the haze that they were in, out of focus and minds so far gone that your excited squeals were all that broke them out of their thoughts.

“It’s gorgeous, Y/N.” Pepper said, her voice soft and cautious as they walked up to pay. It was silent as you waited for an attendant to come to the counter and check you out.

“I- I think there’s something you should know.” The other girls’ head whipped Pepper’s way, and she gave them a look that told them that she wasn’t going to back down from whatever she had to say.

You had what felt like a permanent grin on your face as you thought about the dress. It was a dramatic ball gown, blush pink and flowy. You were almost as in love with it as you were with Natasha, and the matching heels that you got and the gorgeous veil that matched topped it all off. You and your soon to be bridal party walked out into the crisp air, and you turned your head towards Pepper. “Sure, what is it?”

There were a few beats of silence. “Let’s go sit in the car,” Pepper insisted, and so they walked back to the car that Happy was driving for them, where he was sitting with the partition rolled down. He gave them a half assed greeting before they all piled in. “Can I start off with saying that… I’m sorry if you feel like any of us betrayed you.”

You trusted them all with your life, but that didn’t stop your heart from starting to race at the words Pepper said. Whatever this announcement was, it wasn’t good at all. “What?” When no one said anything, you laughed a little. “What, is the dress actually ugly and you didn’t say anything while we were in there? Do I need to go back?”

“No, the dress is beautiful.” The other girls nodded, and then you were sure of yourself and your taste again. “It’s just… Abigail.”

You frowned a bit, immediately thinking of the tragic scene where the girl rushed out of the quintet, breaking down by the second. “Oh, poor thing. Is she not doing as well as they say she is? I know a first big mission can be tough.”

There was a thick silence before Sharon blurted it out. “I am so, so sorry.” You leaned forward, heart skipping a few beats while Sharon took in a deep breath. You knew that some kind of blow was coming just by her apology, and you were bracing for it. “Natasha and Abigail had an affair on the mission.”

In the movies, it was like an instant shattering of the heart when news was broken like that. Immediate tears, automatic screaming and cursing and wanting to call up the other person to threaten them. There was lashing out, the breaking of glass, all the cinematic things that made actors on screen look better and less awkward when they broke down. You always thought that they were overreacting.

Now you knew that they weren’t. You felt that way on the inside. Your mind was raging like a hurricane and a tornado all at once, one disaster coming from the east and the other from the west. Your anger was the tornado, whipping around and threatening to destroy everything in your path and lash out at every single damn person in that car. But just like a tornado, you wore out and disbanded, all in your head. All that was left was the hurricane. The sadness. The disappointment. The heartbreak.

You had never even entertained the thought of how you would be after getting betrayed by her, but if you had, you probably would have imagined that the tornado would have acted first. But it didn’t. Unlike in the movies, all you did was tilt your head to the side and ask for the words to be repeated, even though you didn’t even listen for a second. You couldn’t believe it. Not Natasha. Not your Natasha. Not your angel.

“Natasha and Abigail slept with each other on multiple occasions on the mission, by word of Steve,” Sharon pointed out, her voice similar to the way a doctor sounded while delivering bad news, only a little shakier. “Abigail ran out crying because she fell in love with Natasha and knew that it would never really happen, not because she ruined the mission.”

Not only had Natasha slept with another person, but she had somehow convinced the girl that they were going to be together. Natasha didn’t have a ring, and the girl was new. There was no way she would have known that you two were together unless someone explicitly told her, and there were better things to do on a mission. It wasn’t her fault. Even if she had known, it wasn’t Abigail’s fault. Natasha Romanoff knew better. She knew a thousand times better.

“I don’t think either of them meant for it to happen,” Pepper said, immediately trying to calm you down, even though you hadn’t even spoken an angry word yet, and you looked like you weren’t even close to shouting.

The distinct sound of the partition rolling up was what brought you back to the present.

“But it did happen,” you said slowly, not even realizing that your teeth were gritted. “It happened.”

You couldn’t believe it. You didn’t want to, you wanted to believe it was a lie and calmly confront Natasha, but Steve was the one who had said it, and Steve didn’t lie. Why hadn’t he told you before?

Now that you knew what went on during the mission, you could see that everyone was acting weird. Everyone knew, there was no question about it. Which meant that everyone knew, and no one told you. They didn’t even hint toward anything, and they knew that you were supposed to be marrying the woman who went behind your back and did the unforgivable multiple times.

“We- we’re supposed to be getting married.” The pitiful sentence was all that you could string together in a thought as you looked out of the window at the traffic. You wished that the cars would just go, fly around so that you could cry by yourself. “I don’t even know what to say.” There were a million things happening in your mind at once, and trying not to cry in front of everyone was the biggest effort.

“I’m sorry,” Sharon’s voice said, and she really did sound apologetic. But it wasn’t enough in the moment. You wanted to hear Natasha say it, if all was true. But you knew it was. “We’re all sorry. We were waiting for Romanoff to own up to what she did.” Sharon said, obviously trying not to feel the wrath of you that was surely bubbling beneath the surface.

You could have been angry towards them. You knew that you felt betrayed, by everyone that knew and chose not to speak, that was a no-brainer. You could have been a lot of things at the moment, but there were bigger fish to fry. You clenched your fists and looked at the window, blinking rapidly as you grappled for composure. “Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t think you-”

“I get it. It’s alright. I just prefer not to speak right now, ‘s all.” And conversation ended. But that was when the turmoil in your head and heart started to crank up the energy.

Your first instinct was to bust in there and look for the Black Widow herself, to yell until you lost your voice. Your first instinct was to cause a scene and embarrass her as much as Natasha did to you. You couldn’t believe she had gotten everyone to lie for her. You couldn’t believe that she had an obvious affair with a new agent. You couldn’t believe that you walked around thinking that nothing was wrong while everyone else pitied you behind your back.

Unfortunately, you were quite used to not being enough. Not enough to make it into ivy leagues, not enough to make the track team, not having enough to afford to buy all of your clothes without cringing and thinking about putting some items back. But you were never going to be used to not being enough for Natasha Romanov.

The drive back was the most awkward drive that the four of them had ever been on, without question. You had tears streaming down your face but you were still as silent as the night, just like everyone else. You hardly ever cried. You were always the ray of sunshine and rationality in the tower, and now everything positive had been blown out by the darkness that Natasha created.

When everyone got out of the car, it was sluggishly. Everyone knew what was bound to happen, but it was questionable whether or not the end of the blow out was going to result in settlement or people storming and and leaving. You already knew how it would end.

The second that the elevator landed on you and Natasha’s floor, you shakily thanked the girls for their honesty and walked right out, knowing that it was probably the last time that you would ever be going up in Stark Tower. In your angry fantasy about confronting your fiancée, you imagined storming in and shouting her name, getting her attention and then breaking her down into pieces like the words did to you in the car.

But once you were in your room, you found that the fantasies were just that, and you couldn’t say a word or do a thing but find your suitcase and pack, all the fire leaving your body the second that you saw your room.

You were halfway through gathering everything that was yours in the room that you and Natasha shared, tears streaming down steadily, when you registered that it was real. Natasha had really done the unimaginable, and there was no turning back. A small sob escaped your throat when you saw the sweater you had gotten Natasha hanging up in the closet, the same one that she wore when she got down on one knee for you. Did that mean nothing, too? Was the meaning and emotion of that and everything that led up to it blown to smithereens by something as trivial as two months?

The door flung open. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t talk to me.” You blurted, turning your head to not look at Natasha, trying to avoid her blue gaze. If you looked, you had no doubts that you would turn to stone, and that you would never find the strength to leave the woman who you loved the most and hurt you the most, all within three minutes.

Natasha looked bewildered by the suitcase on the bed. “Are you- are you leaving?”

“What the hell else am I supposed to do?” The temper that was kept just below simmering in the car was finally starting to boil over. “I can’t believe you, Natasha!”

“I-” She sputtered, and you gave her a pointed look in response. “Who told you?”

The question brought fire into your veins. She knew that you knew, because she knew that it was the one secret that had the power to make you so emotional. You two kept no secrets, and for this to be the first? That was painful.

You knew that Natasha would sense your lie about who told you and who didn’t, but you told it anyway. There was no use in causing a riff between the team because they wanted to help you. “I figured it out myself. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Natasha held her hands out in front of her body, and the gesture was so similar to the way that she used to hold her hands out in a silent ask for you to hold them. You hated the way that your heart lurched, and the way that you craved the feeling of her hands even more. “It was an accident.”

An accident? A two month escapade with another woman was an accident?

“After that long ass ride home on the quinjet, you could have at least come up with a better lie.”

“Princessa-”

“I- fuck you.” Your voice cracked in the middle of the explicative, tears falling into the suitcase pitifully. It made your raging temper even worse. “Fuck you.”

“My love-”

“I don’t understand why!” You couldn’t contain the waves of emotion you felt anymore as you slammed the top of the unfinished suitcase closed. “I give you everything I have every single day. Every day. I love you with all of my heart and I do everything I can to make you happy and you give me this? I tried so hard to make sure that we were both happy together, and we were. So, why?”

The look on Natasha’s face wasn’t unfamiliar to you. You knew it well, but it had never been used on you before. It was the look of a spy who didn’t want to say a damn word, silent resistance that you knew would be unbroken. That’s when you knew that you may never know the real reason. And it broke you. “There isn’t a reason.”

You crumbled faster than you ever had before “Natasha, we were- how could you do this to me?” You collapsed into sobs, falling onto the bed and putting your face into your hands. You didn’t know how long you cried for until you felt a hand on your shoulder, very hesitant to even attempt at being comforting. You didn’t have the energy to tell her to fuck off.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha cooed, and for a second, it felt like something was right again. Natasha being gentle was a regular occurrence, a side to the famous ex assassin that only you saw. It was your biggest safety blanket in life. But when she opened her mouth again, you were brought back to why you two were even doing this in the first place. “I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”

You shook your head out of anger. The fact that the lie was shitty made it worse, made it hurt more. She didn’t even want to come up with a lie that would make you stay?

“Somehow you convinced that poor girl that you were going to be with her. How did you manage to do that on accident? How did you sleep with her multiple times on accident? You lead her on emotionally.”

“No.”

“Yes.” You pushed her hand off of your shoulder. “You told her some pretty little words and she fell for them as most do, right? Like I did, I guess. Just tell me the truth.”

“I didn’t-”

You remembered the way the girl was so distraught. You remembered the amount of tears that she had. You remembered the way that she avoided looking in your eyes, the way that she looked completely heart broken. Just like how you looked. You scoffed. “She told you she loved you, didn’t she?”

Natasha’s light blue eyes were boring into yours as she was silent. For the first time in a while, there was no telling of what Natasha was thinking in your mind. You were disconnected. “Yes.”

The words hurt to get out, but you had to know the answer to them. At any cost. Even at the cost of your own heart and sanity. “And you told her the same.”

There was a thick silence that spanned across multiple frantic heartbeats. “Yes.”

The next words were automatic. “I’m done.” You opened the suitcase again. The tears were coming harder than ever, warping your voice so much that your not Natasha hardly recognized it. “Done.”

“You can’t just-”

“Yes, I can!” You whipped around, eyes nailing Natasha right in her place. “Unless you can give me a good reason for what the hell you did, I’m done.”

Excruciating silence. It struck like lightning on the last tree in a struck down forest.

You turned on your heel, but then, words bubbled up in your throat, and you couldn’t shove them down. “When you miss me after you’re done, don’t come back to me.” Your voice cracked in the middle, but you kept pushing. “When you stop and think about what we could have been, do not come and find me. Because you’ll figure it out one day, and it’ll get through that thick skull.”

Natasha’s eyes were slightly watery as she looked on, taking a few steps forward with on outstretched arm, looking to latch on to you. “Love, please.”

You scoffed and ran out of the door, with nothing but a suitcase and a bag in your hands. You cried all the way to the elevator, ignoring the fact that Wanda and Vision’s room was right there across the hall, and how they without a doubt heard everything. Hell, everyone had heard everything. The argument weren’t exactly quiet.

You cried even harder when the doors of the elevator closed. Your hands shook as you brought them up to your face, remembering far too late that Tony Stark sometimes watched the tapes, especially elevator ones. You couldn’t even bring yourself to care. You turned into yourself and sobbed as your body and head shook, trying to rid herself of everything that happened. You cried more when you realized that you hadn’t meant a word of what you said to Natasha.

Deep down, through all of the emotions, you wanted her to seek you out when she learned her lesson. You didn’t know why, and you knew that you didn’t want it any time soon, but you knew that you wanted it.

It was supposed to be a magical day. The day you got the dress was the day it all became real, the day that solidified the fact that you would be getting married to the woman that you loved. You were heart broken. The familiar sound of the elevator stopping and the doors opening barely snapped you out of your well deserved pity party.

You only took one look at the new arrival, and that was when it was decided that the universe, was indeed, very unkind.

Abigail stood there like a deer in head lights, swallowing and looking with wide eyes, certainly unsure about whether or not she should just leave or apologize and hop in and pretend like she didn’t know what was going on. She looked like she expected confrontation.

Your wobbly smile shocked her. “You don’t have to be scared. Come in.” Your voice was just as shaky as the smile you offered, stepping to the side a bit and giving the other woman enough room.

You felt bad. Abigail was young, even younger than you. There was no way that she knew. No one really resisted the charms of Natasha Romanoff, anyway, and you knew it. Especially not a wide eyed newbie who was desperate to please on her first mission with the big guys, some of the original Avengers. There was no doubt that she felt terrible based on the way that she didn’t look you in the eye, and how she avoided everyone. There was only one person in the wrong, and it wasn’t this poor girl.

The doors dinged as they reached the bottom, and right before they opened, you smiled at her. “It’s okay,” your voice was a strong whisper. “It’s not your fault.” You gave her one look as you wheeled your suitcase out of the elevator, taking long strides to reach the huge front door of the tower, praying for no more interruptions.

“Y/N!”

You didn’t want to stop at all. You knew who’s commanding voice it was, and stopping to talk didn’t seem like an option. You preferred not to talk to anyone on the team, especially not one of the people who went on the mission. You wiped your cheeks and turned around anyway. “Yes?”

Steve stood before you, a sincere expression on his face as he looked you up and down, your obvious and inevitable departure making him wince. “I’m sorry.”

There was nothing that you could really say to him. He wasn’t the point of your anger and he was a friend, even if he had kept something from you. “You’re not the one who did it.”

“I could have told you.”

“No, she should have, a long time before someone else did. You didn’t do anything wrong.” The story of infidelity that happened was Natasha’s story to tell. While you still felt a little more than bitter about being an idiot in the dark about the whole thing, you would have preferred to hear it from her, one hundred percent. “I’m just pissed I found out after buying the perfect dress and veil and all of it. I was so ready.” You felt like a fool.

“I don’t know why she-”

“I don’t know why, either.” You admitted, shaking your head slowly. “But one day, maybe I’ll figure it out.”

“You’re leaving.” Steve saw it as a closed chapter now that you were storming out. Anyone would, but you knew better. You knew how Natasha worked, you knew how you worked, but most importantly, you knew how you two worked together. “You and Natasha- you and Nat are special. I’ve never seen anything like what you two have in my life, no one has. That’s why we’re all so mad. She ruined the one relationship that everyone obviously knows is true love, for no reason.”

“I know.”

He looked guilty for even saying the words. “You’re not going to try and work it out?”

“Don’t you think that I know what we have is special?” You asked him, new tears welling up in your eyes as you spoke. “I’m leaving this to her because I trust her with it. I don’t forgive her, and maybe I never will, but this is for her to decide.”

“What makes you think that she’ll decide right? Or what she’ll even decide at all?”

“She’ll come back.” You stated with certainty, and these were the first words that hadn’t had a crack or wobble in them since you started talking to the red head. “She’ll miss me and she’ll be over the thrill of whatever happened on the mission, and she’ll find me, wherever I decide to go. She’ll come back to me, just like I would come back to her. It could take weeks or years, but she will. That’s how we work.”

Steve was momentarily stunned, but after a few short moments, you knew that you had convinced him. “And you’re willing to wait for her? However long it takes?”

You lifted your lips at him, even more tears building up in your eyes as your answer flew up to your lips without even thinking. “She’ll come and find out.”

You walked away with heavy steps, already feeling her lingering on your skin, and the haunting memories of the two of you as happy as could be swirling around in your head.

§

You were well aware that removing Natasha from your life would hurt. But you never could have anticipated how much it would hurt.

Natasha was the safety net you never knew you needed. She was the one person on earth who made you feel truly wanted, needed even. She knew everything that you required to feel loved and you knew her just the same, and you both did those things. And that’s what made you two different.

You had been cheated on before. That was how Natasha had met you, actually. Your last boyfriend had cheated on you like the dirty dog he was with nearly every woman he was cute enough to be with for a night, and Natasha met you while you were getting hammered at a bar because you found out. Natasha met you at your lowest point and raised you up with all her might, and still had energy to love you. You felt useless and discarded, thrown under the bed and tossed to the side of the road, but she found you and made you something new. She made you her favorite.

§

Natasha was everywhere.

She was in the way that you made your coffee, because you hated it before you met her, and she introduced you to a kind that you liked. You got as addicted to it as you were to her.

She was in the way that you walked around the park at night instead of in the morning like you did before you met her, because she liked looking at the stars together.

She was in the way that you searched for her next to you in your sleep and when you first woke up. She was in the ring you still had. She was in the way you wrote your letter ‘n’ now, because you wrote her notes for years and always made the ‘n’ fancy just for her. It stuck. She was somehow related to every show and every movie and every brand of ice cream, and from the second week of suffering without her, you knew that she would linger on you like a faded tattoo.

During the third week, you swore that you could smell her perfume, though it made no sense. You had done laundry many times, and all of a sudden the smell popped up, like she was dropping in to spray the perfume and then leaving as soon as she came. The rich smell was something that you would never forget, and it hung around like thick smoke in your mind. You wanted it to leave.

You cursed her name all throughout the fourth week of being alone in your small apartment in Brooklyn. Everything was her fault. The washer broke, Natasha somehow did it. If you woke up with makeup still on your face from the past night, Natasha was at fault.

You went shopping during the sixth week, and you swore you saw flashes of her red hair in the grocery line, pitifully walking faster with your cart to both flee and go towards it. A part of you knew that she would never shop this far out, but you couldn’t help it. You missed her. You missed her a lot.

But that didn’t change that it stung so, so badly.

§

It was disgustingly close to what the wedding date would have been when you were lying in bed with a stray cat that you had managed to nurse back to health and call your own about two weeks prior. In a way, it was freeing. Natasha hated animals. They were a responsibility in her mind, nothing more. You loved the cat quickly, and named him Henry.

There were three sharp knocks on the door that you would have taken for strokes of thunder if they weren’t so close. You frowned and stood up, walking to the window to peak outside and see that there was a thunderstorm rolling through, the wind higher than usual and the rain coming down sideways.

You walked to the door with the small cat trailing behind you like a loyal companion. You cracked a smile when he meowed, and you looked through the peep hole, the bright porch light shocking your eye for a second, and then you saw.

Natasha Romanoff was standing there, soaking wet with her arms hanging at her sides, trembling from the cold.

You took two steps back that startled Henry, causing him to meow louder this time. You breathed in, trying to be quiet, but you knew that she knew you were there. She was so trained that you knew she heard you approaching, and when you took your steps away from the door. You both knew each other were there.

You had indirectly told her to seek you out when she was ready, and here she was.

Were you ready?

Like you were a child trying to eavesdrop, you held your breath as you leaned into the door, putting your ear on it as you struggled to hear something, anything, from her. She wasn’t talking. You looked up into the peephole again, and she was looking at her feet, waiting for something to happen. She knew that you were deciding.

You had spent time looking for her in places you knew she would never be, running to and from things that looked like or reminded you of her, and now the real thing stood in your porch light in the rain. She came back to you.

She came back, but that didn’t erase everything that happened. Not at all. Her two months of fun and new experiences acted as the eraser, painting over everything that they had ever done in black paint. The joy of dancing with her under street lights and kissing in Tony’s limos and her hand under your sweatshirt didn’t amount to the pain it felt when she ripped herself from you.

But why did it hurt so much if they weren’t the same amount of emotion, if not more? If you looked at it with a rational mind, was the joy not worth more than the pain?

The pain weighed like bricks. There was one big brick that weighed half a ton on one scale, nearly tipping the other side.

But the joy? It weighed like clouds, because that’s what joy was. It was the feeling of being above the clouds. And you found that every moment of joy that you had Natasha, even though it was the weight of clouds, still outweighed the fat brick.

But were all of the cloud moments enough to possibly take another brick?

Your hand moved before you knew it, and you were undoing the chain and unlocking the door, yanking it open roughly and staring her down.

She was shocked. Her eyes were wide as she stared at you without any barriers, automatic tears welling up. Had she come all that way to not even know whether or not you would answer? Hell, you had done all of that while in limbo with yourself.

But now, without even knowing how Natasha truly felt, without even hearing one word from her mouth, you knew something changed.

“I knew you’d come back.”

[rafesgfs]

thank u, next (ft. loki) - part two

Warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy, mentions of sex, violence

Word count: 5.7k

Summary: A mission goes wrong, leaving you stranded with the two men who despise each other, competing for your attention.

Or: In which Steve breaks up with Sharon after realizing how much he loves you, only to be put on hold while you spend time with Loki.

Tony kept glancing at you, his eyes narrowing as if he was trying to figure out what kind of mind manipulation Loki had hexed you with. Natasha was torn between proud and shock. Clint had been positive it was a prank on his behalf until he had learned it was true, the archer studying you, wondering if you were under Loki's influence. And Bruce—well, he still couldn't get over the shock to actually word his opinion.

Steve, on the other hand, wasted no time blaming Loki, accusing him of using his magic to manipulate you into bed. When Thor has came back with news that Loki hadn't—with Heimdell being all knowing and watching—it had made Steve go to Fury, who had shown emotion on his face other than boredom and disappointment. Yet the surprise wore off and the director found it not relevant as the issue had not broken one of the rules Loki had agreed to.

The super soldier had hit the gym in a hurry, pounding the sandbag, probably wishing it was Loki. And Thor, like everyone else, it took him time to process it but unlike everyone, he barely gave it a thought. With word from Heimdell, knowing that his brother wasn't planning anything to harm you or the others, he was at peace with the situation as long as it was two consenting adults.

As you sat in the conference room, waiting for Steve and Loki to show up for the meeting, you wondered why he thought it was okay to overreact to something so...normal. People have sex, he must've known that you weren't any different. And unfortunately, Fury has picked the same day to spring a mission on the team, forcing all of you into a room, not caring about the act you committed with Loki.

Loki came in first, dressed in his usual black color, a suit almost identical to the one he wore the day before. Even from across the room, you could easily spot the hickeys he kept, a bunch peeking out from under the suit. It had given you a sense of pride and embarrassment, going down on the God of Mischief.

He caught your eye, the corner of his lips turned up, twitching without their permission. Loki wouldn't admit it out loud but he liked you to the point of sacrificing everyone in the room to save the one decent person who hadn't judge him. Everyone had turned to look at him, following his every move whilst he moved to the empty seat besides you.

The one that everyone knew was Steve's. Yet, no one said a word, secretly enjoying the show.

"Greetings," he said curtly, nodding once to everyone with an expressionless face. They all nodded back to him, Tony covering the smile that was trying to force itself on his face. Loki turned to you, sitting down in Steve seat as he gave you a smirk, amused by your attempt to cover up his marks. "Hello, angel."

The nickname alone wanted to make you want to ditch the meeting for a dick appointment with the Asgardian, the name slipping from his tongue. The same name he had whispered into you ear as he thrusted into you. Instead, you gave him a small smile, unconsciously rubbing your thighs together. "Hey."

Loki noticed the motion, his smirk widening. Pulling the chair closer to your own, his arm leaning up against yours. Leaning in, he put his lips to your ears, ignoring everyone's stares, including his brother's. "Your attempt to cover my hard work is very amusing, love."

"Loki..." you warned, using the same tone you had last night when he teased you too far, wishing for release. There was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "Shut up, not everyone has magic."

"All you have to do is ask, although I prefer to see them on your skin." Loki whispered, not caring how many people team members had subconsciously leaned in, straining to hear what the raven-haired God had to say.

Before you could answer, the door opened, Steve and Fury entering. The super soldier had an exhausted look on his face while Fury kept his emotionless facade up. Steve started walking towards his seat, so distracted by the uncovered hickeys on your neck to notice it had been taken. The blond did a double take, seeing Loki in his chair. If it wasn't for the barely contained anger in his eyes, you would've bursted out laughing at his comical expression.

The team stayed quiet, their eyes glued on the silent war between the two men. Loki nonchalantly looked up, his lips brushing against your hair as he pulled away, smirking at Steve. The silence was broken by Fury's tired sigh.

"Well, hello, Captain." Loki sneered, not having any intention of getting up. Steve's eyes stormed with anger, a tick away from letting loose. The God of Mischief pointed to the chair across from you, the one next to Tony, giving the super soldier a pointed look. "You should take your seat."

Tony muffled a snort at Steve's scowl, yet America's Sweetheart didn't move a muscle, glaring at Loki. Fury rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Rogers, take a seat next to Stark. Loki, stop being an asshole. Back to business."

Steve followed Fury's order, sitting down besides Tony, his angry expression turning blank, waiting for whatever Fury had to say. Yet, his eyes still looked murderous, often glancing at the lack of space between you and Loki. Tony didn't hide his amusement, biting back a laugh, and trying to focus on whatever Fury was saying while the rest of the team kept looking at Steve, expecting him to reach across the table and punch Loki back to Asgard.

"While you agents were partying, drinking all your problems away, SHIELD got a tip from an undercover agent." Fury started, sliding your folders across the table, giving you something to look at other than the tension between Steve and Loki. You opened the folder to find pictures of blood-covered bodies. "Normally, we wouldn't bring the Avengers into a mafia-related crimes but this one's different.

"The Chinese Mafia is after a USB flash drive, one that we suspect, contains secrets that could bring down the American government. Emphasis on could; SHIELD isn't that well informed on what exactly the flash drive holds." Fury continued. Looking at you, he called your name. "Along with Rogers and Laufeyson. I'm assigning the three of you on the mission. You'll get the mission details as soon as Agent Hill gets here. The rest of you are irrelevant. Everyone go away now."

He left the room before anyone could even move a muscle. The team glanced between Loki and Steve, trying to figure out what they felt. It was clear neither of them were too happy about going on a mission together but the photographs of dead bodies made them bury their resentment down, for the sake of the government and all, but mostly for your sake.

Tony cleared his throat, trying not to burst out laughing. "So, Cap—"

Steve called out your name, standing up from his seat. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone? It's urgent."

"Yeah, sure." you said, following him out the door without looking back at the rest. You didn't notice the way Loki oozed with madness, his eyes deadly. Steve led you away from the view of room, stopping in the middle of a private hallway. It was secluded enough, yet Steve kept fidgeting like someone was listening. "Steve, I know you aren't particularly fond of Loki but he's a good—"

"I broke up with Sharon." Steve blurted. You stopped talking, your mouth open from your earlier words. The blond ran a hand through his hair. "I broke up with her last night, just before the party started ... before you walked in with Loki."

"That's not what it looked like."

"I was trying to be her friend, just like I'm trying to be yours." Steve explained, almost begging. "I never got the chance to apologize for hurting you. When you came back from Asgard, it had been too long for me to even mention it without it being awkward. So, I didn't. I wanted to but you didn't want to spend time with me anymore. And that's my fault, I'm not blaming you for being hurt. I understand what I did was so selfish, and wrong. It was wrong and if I could go back in time, I would've never done it."

You closed your gaping mouth, a little surprised by the apology. Rocking back on your heels, you awkwardly looked everywhere but at him. "Okay, um, thanks?"

Dejected, Steve nodded, his head hanging from the lack of sympathy in your voice. "Yeah. I wanted you to know. That's what I was coming to tell you this morning, but instead found you in bed with .... him."

"Uh," it was all you could say. Clueless of how to respond, you started to back away slowly, like there was a bear coming towards you. "Okay. So ... I'm gonna go. Get prepared for the mission or whatever. I'll see you later."

Before he could utter another word, you walked away,  feeling completely numb by the news. There was a part of you that wanted to forgive him, another part was feeling satisfied for his pain, and the last was confused. If he had been telling the truth—breaking up with Sharon before the party—then why hadn't he told you or apologized when he came to talk to you? It made you question whether he was just jealous or genuinely sorry for hurting you.

You weren't ready to forgive him yet, not after he made you doubt your self worth. Thor had made you feel better when you had came to him, showering you with golden gifts, shoes, and brotherly love. Despite popular belief, Loki wasn't that much different than his brother. Yes, he wasn't a people person, but he was gruffer, rougher, meaner...sexier. He knew what it was like to feel unwanted, feeling the need to show how powerful he was. If you had been in his situation—and you practically almost were if it hadn't been for Natasha—you would've taken the same road he had.

Speak of the devil, you bumped right into him, his chest only covered by a black silk sweater. With all the heavy thinking you hadn't realized you had walked back to your room. Gathering your thoughts, you looked up at his blue eyes. "Shit, sorry."

"Are you well, angel?" Loki asked, genuinely concerned. He had heard every word Steve had said, and to Loki's dismay, they had all been true. Loki hated Steve as much as Steve hated him, Steve had a reason and so did the God of Lies. The main reason? You.

You nodded, seeing how your room was messy. Books and blankets were on the ground, a broken glass scattered on the floor near your bedside table, a lamp covered in feathers, and last night's clothes strewn around the room. "I'm fine. But my room isn't, holy fuck."

With a wave of his hand, Loki cleared the room, the disastrous mess cleaned up before your eyes. He gave you a smile. "There. Director Cyclops wanted me to inform you and Sleeping Beauty that Maria Hill is in the building. She's ready if we are."

"Great. One thing before we step out this room: be nice."

"I'll try."

—

The mission was far easier than you originally thought. It was less than 24 hours, meaning you wouldn't be trapped in a designated safe house with them, or would you be in any kind of trouble. Just like Fury had said, it was an extract mission. Get the flash drive, get out.

Unfortunately, we'd be forced to go to a gala, one of those unnecessarily fancy parties where the champagne was watered down and the men showed how powerful they were with girls clinging onto their arm. It was a pre-kidnapped Tony Stark kind of party. Thankfully, you had more than a few practice with walking in heels.

The two men were able to put their hatred aside to focus on the job, Loki's magic still restrained even with the urgency of the mission. Maria Hill had filled you in, giving you all the details, the layout of the building, and all the places they suspected the drive to be. The plan was to fly to Hong Kong, get dressed for the party in the Quinjet, attend the gala long enough to find Zhang Wei, and run with the USB flash drive. Simple enough.

The flight from New York to Hong Kong was tiring, even with the eight hour slumber you had, finding yourself in Loki's arms once again. Fortunately, Steve hadn't seen you with Thor's brother, knocking this time and finding you alone, reading the mission file for the millionth time. He had smiled, probably happy he didn't see Loki in your room. That smile didn't last, dropping as soon as he stepped in the Quinjet, greeted Loki and saw the quick smile you sent the raven-haired God. It tugged on his heartstrings; you used to smile at him like that.

At least they kept their snide comments to themselves, only sending the other a glare when you weren't looking. As soon as you looked up, a slightly perplexed expression would come on their face, like they were trying to think of a word that rhymes with orange. Yet, you didn't dare question it, leaving the topic alone and quietly stewing in the testosterone-filled aircraft.

When the Quinjet finally reached Hong Kong, you had already changed into your formal wear. Loki didn't have to move to change his clothes; instead he used his magic, making him look presentable in a blink of an eye. Steve had frowned on that, but decided to let it go considering he had a lot to make up to you. Getting into a fight with your ... whatever Loki was, would not be a great start.

Getting ready for the party had been easy, the dress fit you just right, your hair being in the mood to cooperate, and even your makeup was flawless. The reaction from Steve and Loki certainly didn't help your ego, their comical reactions to your beauty had been amusing and slightly embarrassing.

Steve's mouth has hung open, his jaw unwilling to close while he stared at you. "Wow. Y-you look gorgeous. Wow."

"Truly breathtaking, love." Loki added, licking his lips in appreciation. If there was one thing both he and Steve could agree on, was the way you always turned heads. If anything, Loki wanted to make you his goddess—he just didn't want to admit it to himself just yet.

And since you were too emotionally invested, you took the easy way out and rolled your eyes. Dressed in their tuxes, they looked like they stepped out of a Hugo Boss ad. "Thanks. You guys clean up well."

Steve was too busy admiring you to notice Loki pull out a diamond encrusted ring, not exactly a engagement ring from Jared but one of those rings you get with friends during a drunken girl's night out. Loki stepped up to you, bringing your right hand, placing the ring on your index finger.

"The ring ... goes well with your dress." Loki explained, watching you stare at the ring he had placed. Steve's wonderment has turned sour, a little sad by the gesture. "It was my mother's."

"Loki," you gasped softly, knowing the how special their relationship had been. Thor had explained how Loki spent most his childhood with Frigga, spending his time learning magic, being a mama's boy. With Frigga dead, Loki must've felt some resentment to those dark elves that had been responsible for her death. "I can't— I can't take this."

Loki shrugged, brushing away a stray hair on your cheek. "Yes, you can. You will. It looks beautiful on you. Don't you agree, Captain?"

To be completely honest, Loki had forgotten Steve had existed until his heart faltered at the mention of Frigga. Steve didn't like the way the ring looked like it belonged on you, almost like it had been made specially for you. He nodded, agreeing with Loki once again. "Looks beautiful."

Before it could get any more awkward or embarrassing, an alarm had sounded, the noise saying you from any further feels. All three of you moved to the front, seeing how you hovered a few feet off the landing spot assigned for the Quinjet. With the many SHIELD headquarters, it wasn't a surprise they had in Tokyo just as modernly technical like the one in New York.

The limo ride that took you to the party was tense. Maybe it was the mission that was about to go down, or that awkward moment in the Quinjet. The navy blue, floor-length dress was silky, the fabric soft against your skin. The one-inch straps that came together at the back of your neck accentuated your cleavage, brining them to look bigger than they were. It clung to your curves, but not tight like the dress you had worn the yesterday. This one was far more elegant.

Wrapped in your thoughts, you hadn't noticed when the limo had stopped, the crowded building to your right. The doors opened, both Steve and Loki reaching out a hand to help you out of the limo. Taking them both, you snaked an arm around both of theirs, letting others know you had two dates. You thought the red carpet leading to the entrance was a bit much, even for the Chinese mafia.

Two suited men opened the double glass doors, revealing the fancy gala. Dangerous men and mafia families filled the large room, eyes flickering to your entrance, widening when they realized who had entered. They knew your dates, but SHIELD had made sure to keep your place on the team a secret for missions like this one. No criminal would trust an Avenger, but they might be dumb—or arrogant—enough to be manipulated by a "mole" in SHIELD.

The talking stopped briefly, only to turn to hushed murmurs before they continued as they had before. Both Steve and Loki turned down the campaign, not trusting whatever was put in the liquid. Looking around the room, there was nothing out of the ordinary, well, for a party held by a mafia of course.

"Should we proceed as planned?" Loki confirmed, surveying the room as he tried to find his own target. He locked eyes with the man he needed to distract while Steve and you would sneak away and find Zhang Wei and the flash drive.

Steve nodded, slyly touching his earpiece hidden by his growing hair. You had no idea how Tony convinced him how to grow it out but you were going to thank him later. "Yes. Keep in contact and check in every ten minutes. Be careful."

Loki nodded, heading off to his target but not before giving you a reassuring smile, tiny enough for no one else to notice but it was enough to ease your worries. Yes, he's an all-powerful god but that didn't mean he couldn't die.

Turning to Steve, you smiled at him, almost naughtily. Eyes twinkling with evilness, you hold out your free hand, challenging him with your eyebrows. "Would you like to dance, Stevie?"

You've never seen so much fear in someone's eyes come in such a short time. Steve's contained so much fear you were worried he was going to combust. "Um, I d-don't really know how."

"Why, that's a shame, Captain." a man behind you said. Turning around, you found yourself only a foot away from the mafia leader himself, Zhang Wei. Steve's jaw clenched at the unprepared confrontation. Zhang turned to you, holding his unnaturally thin hand out. You could see the bones through the thin skin, shivering at the sight. "Would you like to dance, darling?"

Taking the opportunity, you nodded, taking his hand, hoping Steve would get the hint to not look so stiff. "I would love to."

Zhang took you to the almost empty dance floor, the music starting as soon as his foot hit the designated area. Smiling maliciously, he tugged on your waist, pulling you close for a proper dance. "You look beautiful, my dear. I'm certain your date is jealous I stole you away."

"He doesn't mind." you answered, returning the smile. Glancing at Steve, you saw him glaring at the back of Zhang's head, burning a hole. "Steve is rather hesitant when it comes to dancing, so, I'm sure he doesn't mind you helping a lady out."

The mafia leader's smiled widened. His eyes briefly landed on Loki, narrowing slightly at the way he interacted with his second in command. You took the brief amount of time to inspect him, noticing how much thinner he looked. With eye bags under his eyes, bones peeking through his hands, and the way his footsteps faltered ever so slightly made you realize he isn't going to be hard to take down. He may be the big bad criminal but from the looks of it, he was dying.

Zhang Wei nodded. "You look familiar. Have I seen you before?"

"I'm an escort. You may or may not have seen me on a bunch of powerful men's arms." you lied, flashing him your most charming smile. Zhang raised an eyebrow, gesturing towards Steve with a tilt of his head. "Steve's the same, poor baby was too shy to ask anyone to be his date."

"Didn't think Captain America would have such a hard time finding a date." Zhang mumbled aloud. He kept the false smile on his face. "If the time came, would you tell me your name, in case I can't find myself a date?"

"Tatia Sinclair." you lied, twirling in his arms.

The mafia leader nodded. The dance floor had filled up, nearly overcrowding. It took you a second to find Steve with all the bodies in the way. Zhang cleared his throat. "What a lovely name. Tatia, darling, would you accompany me to my study? I have to fetch something special of mine and would like you pleasant company."

Steve snarled your name through the earpiece, Loki's growl following along. Again, the super soldier and the god agreed. Steve murmured your name. "Don't."

Ignoring his order—and unnecessary concern—you grinned, taking Zhang outstretched arm. "I would love to."

He led you to the elegant stairs while you discreetly turned off your earpiece, no longer wanting to hear Steve's overprotective ass grumbling about sticking to the plan. If he had checked his folder, he would've seen you were sticking to the plan, just not the way he wanted.

The walk to his office was a slow one, considering how sick the mafia leader was, you weren't surprised when he was out of breath just from climbing the stairs. You didn't comment, instead helping him out and pointing out random things a dumb escort would say. Your personal plan was to make this guy underestimate you, and with the way he was looking at you, he was convinced you were just a body with no brains.

He opened the door to his mahogany office, the room was just as elegant as the party below, oozing power and money. Zhang went to his desk, opening his cabinet. From where he left you, you couldn't see what considering how he held it in his hand without opening his palm. A knock at the door stopped you from asking.

Surprisingly his right hand man came in, the one Loki was supposed to be distracting, at least long enough for us to figure out where the flash drive was. And guessing from the amount of evidence, you were guessing the flash drive was in the mafia leader's hand. He glanced at you, tilting his head at Zhang before speaking.

They talked in Chinese--surprise, surprise--a bit fast for you to fully decipher but the gist of the conversation had been finding a safe, more guarded location for the drive considering both Steve Rogers and Loki Laufeyson were in the building, just a floor below them. The two men paid you no attention as you tried to look clueless, bored, and in all, dumb. In their eyes, you were just checking out the room when actually you had been trying to find more dirt. If it wasn't the drive in his hand, it had to be close by.

"Tatia." Zhang called out, using the fake name you had given him. You turned around, a little glass globe in your hand. You raised an eyebrow, twirling the little sphere. "Would you excuse me? I have some rather pressing issues that need to be dealt with."

And once again, the door opened before you could answer the question. This time, at the door stood Steve and Loki, a man laying on the floor between the two. From the way both their suits were a little ruffled, they had enough waiting and decided to take action. A few appeared out of knowhere, tacking the two but you were left alone to deal with the men in the room. Zhang reached under his desk, where you had discreetly took the hidden gun while they had been talking.

Zhang's second in command quickly pointed his loaded gun at you, and you at him, your eyes reflecting the same emotion: hate. The man spoke to Zhang, keeping his gun steady while Zhang tried to get away. Even for a dying man, he moved fast, leaving you the choice of shooting his second in command in the knee. He cried out, firing his gun out of anguish but you were faster, quickly following Zhang, leaving a big group of men to fight Loki and Steve. They would be able to handle it.

Running in heels was always an annoyance to you, considering how unnecessary they were on missions. They looked hot but the fact that you were forced to wear them was a little sexist. You'd have to talk with Fury about that.

The halls were lit up with chanderliers dangling from the ceiling, all of them shining brightly. For someone who had been limping out of the room, he had been fast, or was hiding but the fact was that you lost him. You could still hear the grunts from where Loki and Steve were punching the fuck out of those mafia men.

You slowed, looking at the painting-decorated walls in search of some kind of secret door, maybe a fake wall. It sounded ridiculous but at the compound, Tony had a bunch of hiding spots, a few you knew and others you didn't. It was infuriating.

The hallway must've lasted forever, and you were convinced he had vanished into thin air. Then you spotted a cracked door, it was enough to be left opened on accident, but that didn't mean it was. With caution, you walked slowly, holding your gun in front of you. With your foot, you cracked the door open, entering a room of complete darkness. From what you could tell, there were no windows, and most likely a fake safe room.

Still, you flipped the light switch on, the room lighting up with it's obnoxiously bright white paint reflecting even brighter with the light. Scanning the room, you noticed how it smelled slightly sweet, the sweetness making you slightly dizzy. You shook your head, trying to find something wrong, like a hidden wall, or maybe another escape route from inside the room.

It didn't take long for you to realize the sweet scent was toxic, the side effect making you dizzier, the room spinning under your feet. As soon as you grasped the wall for support, Zhang came from the wall beside you, the little door opening to reveal the mafia leader holding his own gun, the flash drive in his hand as he taunted you with it.

He laughed at your weakened state, aiming his gun at your heart. It triggered your fight or flight and even with the side effect, you decided to fight. He was weaker than you, slower, his aged brain not processing you running at him. His gun dropped on the ground, along with the USB drive as your hand wrapped around his neck, pushing him against the wall with all your remaining strength.

Zhang had to been immune to the fast-acting toxin while you crumbled, unable to hold your body with the dizziness and fatigue bringing you down. Taking the upper hand, he knocked you over, his fist colliding with your jaw. You grunted, pouncing for the gun and flash drive, hiding the latter in your bra while the mafia leader shook his hand in pain.

Just as you had wrapped your fingers around the barrel of the gun, you heard the gunshot, and felt it hit your shoulder. Your hand was useless, your body way too weak from the toxins to defend yourself against the man, at this point just hoping they would find the flash drive in your bra when they autopsied you.

Another bullet was fired, and this one right on your arm, the pain numb. Maybe this was the way you were going to die, but at least it wasn't painful. That was the best you could've hoped for. And then another bullet was fired, but you didn't feel it, the fire inside you too hot for you to even register the pain. You laid on the ground, eyes drifting close. Zhang dropped dead a couple of feet next to you, his head bleeding out.

Your vision had already blackened when you felt Steve knelt down to you, pulling you into his arms. You were unconscious by the the time you figured out Steve had killed.

—

You woke up to the sound of the irritating beat of your heart of the monitor, and heavy breathing. Despite the very difficult task, you opened your eyes, instantly regretting it when you were met with a blinding light. Thankfully, it went away, revealing where you were in the Medbay, laying on the stiff bed with needles pierced into your skin.

Steve got up from his seat beside you, instantly hovering over you with a worried look on his face. If you hadn't felt like shit, you would've thought his face was permanently like that. "Hey, hey. Are you okay? How do you feel?"

"Am I in hell?"

He let out a strained chuckle, taking your hand with the both of his. His furrowed eyebrows remained furrowed, his forehead filled with crinkles. "Sweetheart? How do you feel? Are you in pain? Do you need anything?"

"Holy fuck, you're spitting in my face. Steve, I feel like shit but I promise I'm fine. Come on, don't you don't have to worry so much." you replied, wishing you could do something other than lie in pain.

"You're fine? I watched you get shot, held you in my arms while you bled out in front of me. If it wasn't for Loki, you'd be dead. Don't you understand how not fine that is? What the hell were you thinking?" Steve raged, letting go of your hand to pace around the room. Judging from the lack of sunlight coming from the windows, it was nighttime, the whole compound barely lit.

"Did you find the drive? I had it—"

"Are you actually worrying about the flash drive when you almost died? Do you not care whether or not you live?" Steve blurted, throwing his hands up in the air, clearly frustrated with how the conversation was going.

"Where's Loki?" you whispered, your eyes slowly closing. You fought to keep them open, hoping for an answer and wishing you could postpone this argument with Steve until morning when you finally could argue back.

Steve calmed down, appreciating the God of Mischief a lot more when he saved your life. "He's filling out Fury on the whole situation. And we found the flash drive, which made Fury gleam with glee."

"Good." you yawned, letting your eyes close knowing Loki was safe and found the flash drive. Steve whispered something but you were already too far gone, falling asleep as soon as your eyes closed.

Loki came into the room a few minutes after you fell asleep, stepping up next to Steve who had been staring your sleeping form. The raven-haired God pulled up a chair, his eyes never leaving your face. "How is she?"

"More worried about the aftermath of the mission more than herself." Steve answered, his voice wavering for a second at the thought of losing you. The super soldier turned to Loki. "Thank you for going against the rules and using your magic to save her. I think it's safe to say you won't get into any trouble, especially with her fighting Tony about it."

Loki shrugged, waving away the compliment. "You would've done the same if you could've."

A beat of silence passed before Steve spoke again, more determined than ever to win back your trust. "I like her, you know?"

"I care for her, too." Loki replied. "And I know that you care for her but don't you understand that I'm far better for her than you ever will? You hurt her. You broke her trust. I may only know her for a few days but I know breaking trust is important to her. To earn it back—"

"Would almost be impossible." Steve finished, his eyes dropping to the bed. "But I have to try. I really like her."

"As do I. And I'm not giving up."

"Neither will I."

< previous next >

[innocent-chris-evans-slut]

I’ve Just Fucked You, Sweetheart

Request: Hello, I saw your requests were open and I can't pass this chance up! Could you please write anything with Ransom? Ideally smut 👀 I'm always into the idea of a smug Ransom getting off on an easily flustered reader. Anything from downright humiliation to fluff like embarrassing her by saying he likes her is fine with me! Hope this makes sense? But tbh anything with Ransom I will eat up, I think Chris and Steve get enough love lol

My Masterlist ✨

Requests are open.

Ransom x maidReader 

Word Count: 3,4k 

Type: smut 

Warning(s): swearing, dub-con sex, blowjob, rough sex

The 4th of July holiday was your favorite. You came from an extremely patriotic family -with both your grandfathers being former soldiers.

When you were a child, you remembered your house being full of people on this particular day. There was your entire family: your parents, your aunties and uncles, your cousins -to which you were particularly close since you hadn’t any sibling- and your grandparents. Then, when your cousins became getting older and having their own families, this kind of events started becoming more and more sporadic.

At the age of 25 you graduated and started working as a sous-chef at a restaurant. Cooking was your passion and when your grandfather introduced you to Harlan Thrombey, who was looking for a chef for his events, you just couldn’t say no.

It had been two years since the first time you worked at the manor. You had become more familiar with the place, your co-workers, and also with Harlan. He was very caring and kind with all his employees, giving them completely access to his house. Though, when his family was a home with him during the holidays, you couldn’t go wherever you wanted.

There was one person in particular you just couldn’t put up with: Hugh Ransom Drysdale.

A complete asshole who didn’t mind others’ businesses except his. Unlike his grandfather, to who he really seemed having something in common, Ransom was very ungrateful with his family and rude with the help. He didn’t ask, he only commanded others to do and he really liked that part: watching payed people struggling what he was supposed to be doing.

You felt the atmosphere changing before anyone could even tell you Ransom was parking his car. You heard the engine of an old car being turned off and its door being violently closed. The noise scared you and you dropped some cream.

Ransom turned around and saw you, focused on wiping the floor. He had his eyes on you also when you got up from your knees and bended over the counter to clean the mess you did. He bit his bottom lip and put on his usual mischievous smirk.

Ransom had always loved a beautiful woman, especially a younger one with a really good body -according to him-, and you were just his next prey.

But you didn’t know anything about his plans for you for that weekend.

It was almost seven o’clock in the afternoon when you finished making dinner for the Thrombeys. Fortunately, Martha decided to help you arranging the table and the dining room. So you remained in the kitchen -which you liked calling ‘your reign’-, preparing all the dishes and fixing the wrong quantities.

“So, when I can taste your special cream?”

You weren’t prepared for anyone to enter the kitchen while you were with your hands in the pastry. You turned around and saw Ransom standing with his back against the door. His smirk naughty smirk wasn’t missing.

“What?” you asked shocked by his words. But you had to imagine that he would have said something to make you uncomfortable; he always did it. Once you had regained your composure, you said: “Is there anything I can do for you, Hugh?”

He walked in, leaving the door opened, and sat down on a stool right in front of you, and you couldn’t go anywhere else since you were making the cake, “Nothing in particular”. He took a bit of cream from its bowl on the counter, “Mmh, so good. You know…your cream is so delicious”.

You couldn’t form any sentence. You were so embarrassed by his words that you couldn’t help but keep silence and stare into his eyes.

“Hugh, you’re making me very uncomfortable. Can I ask you to leave the kitchen?” you had been told by Harlan more than once to push away Ransom any time he would have tried to force you to do anything. That was what you did every single time, but he would never listen to you.

In fact, also this time, Ransom dragged himself closer to you a stared at you as you moved smoothly around the room. On the other hand, you tried not to stumble on you own feet as you passed in front of him.

Ransom was supposed to be with his family in the living room, socializing with the guests, instead he preferred sitting in the kitchen. Being completely unhelpful.

“Y/N the steak tartare is almost finished”, Martha entered the room, fortunately, interrupting the looks between you and the man with you in the room.

“There are three more trays in the fridge”, you told her as you decorated the cake with blue and red decorations and lying an American flag on the top of it. Once you were done, you turned around to see Martha struggling with the trays, “Here, let me help you”, you left the cake in the big fridge and went helping your co-worker taking all the food out of the fridge, then she brought everything in the dining room.

“I can’t wait to taste your incredible cake”, Ransom left you with that statement, cleaning his mouth as he spoke and walked towards the door, “See you later”.

You didn’t see him anymore that day. When you went back home -almost at midnight in the morning- the Thrombeys were still partying and, although Harlan had insisted for you and Martha to stay a little bit longer -just enough to see the fireworks-, both of you preferred to leave the manor.

The morning after, you were required to arrive at Harlan’s home at 7 o’clock and, as soon as you had entered the kitchen, you started preparing breakfast for the Thrombeys and you packed their lunch. Every year, on the 5th, the entire family was usually invited at some friend’s house and they liked spending the entire day there. This years wasn’t different from the others.

After a quick breakfast, Harlan, his children, and two of his grandchildren, left the manor and with their cars reached the city. Meanwhile, inside the house, you and Martha kept doing your jobs.

Not everybody had left the house that morning; Ransom didn’t feel like going with his family and spending another day hearing bullshit coming from his mother’s mouth. He would rather loaf in his bedroom at his grandfather’s house than spend another minute with them and their huge egos -he didn’t even bother to get downstairs for breakfast.

“Is he still here?” there wasn’t need to pronounce his name when both, you and Martha, knew of who you were talking about, “How can Harlan be so amenable with him? I can’t-“

“You can’t what? Please, go on”, Ransom entered kitchen and sat down on the same stool he was sit the evening before, “I’m very interested”, he placed his chin on his fists and was now looking at Martha, waiting for her to say anything.

You watched the scene from the other end of the counter, while making him his favorite breakfast. In a certain way, Ransom was much more demanding than his grandfather -the one who actually paid you for your work. But at the same time he was the first member of the family you had ever met, and you weren’t exaggerating when you said he did a certain impression on you, almost as he was your employer and not his grandfather.

“Weren’t you supposed to be with Harlan?”

Ransom was capable of instilling dread in people and you and Martha weren’t exempt. You exchanged a sympathetic look with your co-worker and she shook her head.

“I am going, Hugh”, then she turned towards your direction and said: “See you later”, and she left.

There was a moment of silence right after Martha had left the room, but then Ransom spoke: “Finally just the two of us”.

You shivered at his words, although you tried not to let him notice that. You kept planning all the meals for the week, but you felt Ransom’s eyes on you as you wrote on the paper. Though he was peacefully eating his breakfast, he was also looking at you -or better, at your behind. You didn’t say anything just because he did it very often when you were alone with him.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Hugh?” you asked him as you walked pass behind him and you took the empty dish from in front of him, “Otherwise I go back planning the week”.

“Very rude from you, especially since we’ll spend the day together”, he took the last sip from his glass and walked towards you, forcing you to the wall, “See you later, kitten”.

It had been a couple of hours since you last see Ransom around the house; you had the chance to clean the kitchen and also try cooking something new. You successfully added three new receipts to Harlan’s particular diet, and you were very proud of yourself.

It was almost lunch time and still you didn’t know if you had to cook something for Ransom or not, so you decided to go upstairs and ask it to him. The creaking stairs announced you to him -since you were the only two people in the house-, so you thought you didn’t have to knock on the door.

Very bad choice.

Right when you entered the bedroom, Ransom exited the shower completely naked. Though you closed your eyes, and covered them with both your hands, you had already seen everything. And it meant literally everything.

“Hugh!”

“What?” he didn’t seem to care, Ransom stood up in silence and both his arms were crossed above his chest; he was staring at you, “I’m in my room and, if I want to be naked, I do it. You didn’t knock on the door”, knowing how uncomfortable you were, he didn’t move and kept being undressed in front of you.

“Can you put something on, please?”, you turned around and slowly breathed in and out. You felt your heart beating so fast that it was about to break the chest cavity.

“I would rather put something under me”; Ransom had always been so direct with people and it wasn’t the first time he pronounced an appreciation towards you, and your body as well.

On the other hand, you knew the kind of girls he liked to spend time with, and you definitely weren’t one of them. You weren’t a model or a rich heiress with a breathtaking body, and -most importantly- you weren’t living in a fairy tale so you knew exactly what to expect from men like him.

“I’m not kidding, Hugh. I’m very uncomfortable at the moment. Could you, please, put something on?” you could hear him laughing at you, but you couldn’t do anything but exit the room.

Unfortunately, he saw you before you had the chance to make even only one step towards the door and he positioned right in front of it. You didn’t noticed the movement, so you were taken by surprised when your hand, instead of came in contact you a cold surface, touched something squishy, yet solid. You opened your eyes involuntary only to meet Ransom’s eyes fixed on you and your hand resting on his torso.

“H-hugh”, it came out as a whisper, more than a scolding. Ransom kept your wrists firmly pinned against the wall, leaving you completely exposed to his mercy. You opened your mouth to speak up, but no words came out of it; instead something entered your mouth.

As soon as he saw you trying to say something, Ransom put two fingers inside your mouth so that you weren’t able to talk -or, talk without wet his fingers; “What?” he acted as if nothing wrong was happening. Quite the opposite, there wasn’t anything good in that situation, “Speak”.

“I can’t-“ you stopped at mid-sentence at him pulling down your tongue and, so, making you lower your gaze. Your eyes stopped right on his up-standing dick. You weren’t surprised to notice it was long and thick. You had had a couple of boyfriends, but you had never seen anything like that before.

Ransom was gently stroking it with his left hand -the one he had in your mouth- while his other hand became going down on your face, then his fingertips touched your collar bone very slowly and found your sweet spot between your chest. Once he had understood how powerful the effect of caressing it was on you, Ransom didn’t stop moving his fingers above it and your breath became heavier and heavier, “I’ll tell you what I wanna do with you”. He put his mouth closer to your hear and said: “I wanna fuck you here-“ and he passed a finger on your lips, “-and here-“ his hand slipped down on your body, stopping right on your pelvis, and it got its way into your pants, “-and maybe also here”, with his other hand he grabbed your butt and squeezed it harshly, “Where do you want to start from?”

“I-I don’t think this is a-appropriate, Hugh”, you said as you tried to get away from his embrace, but it was impossible seen his massive body size compared to yours.

“This is highly unappropriated, but you want it as much as I want it”, his lips gently brushed against the skin of your neck. You gasped as he moved his tongue on your half-hidden soft spot under your ear and you shivered, weaving your hands together behind his neck, “C’mon, be a good girl”, you intertwined your fingers.

You didn’t know why, but your defense fell, and you gave up. Ransom took the opportunity to lay his lips on yours, so that you couldn’t help but return the kiss. His lips were exactly as you had always imagined them: soft and tasting like tobacco and mint.

As he loosened the grasp on both your wrists, you were forced to walk back until you hit the wooden structure of the bed with your calves; Ransom broke the kiss and made you fall on the soft mattress. Both of you kept your eyes on each other. You took a long, deep breath as you saw him removing his sweater and toss it away somewhere in the room. Then he placed his hands at the side of your head and stared at you: “We’re gonna take all the time we need, sweetheart”.

You remained still as Ransom removed your t-shirt and jeans and threw them behind his shoulder; once you had been left in only your underwear, he looked at you with a very hungry look on his face and smirked. Less than a second after his lips were on yours again and you laced your arms behind his neck, dragging him closer to you.

“You won’t want another man this close to you after I’ll be done with you”, the built man standing above you said. His hands travelled on your body, his fingertips were burning as they moved on your exposed skin and you couldn’t hold a moan anymore.

“Ransom, please”, you contorted yourself as his hands went down to your core. Another moan was released as his index finger made circles on your clit, making you tremble. You closed your eyes in awe and tilted your head backwards; then, all of a sudden, you felt his mouth work on you and at that point you left behind any hesitation.

His tongue drew circles on your clit harder and harder and you kept moaning louder every time; his teeth gently scratched on your labia as his hands kept you as still as possible. You grabbed the sheets in your hands and held on tight to them when you felt your climax coming.

“Too early.”

You realized he wouldn’t have left you come when he got up and looked at you, “Are you kidding me?” you were more than angry, feeling like he was just messing with you and that, maybe, he would have mocked you in front of his family later that night, “You’re only a fuck-“

Ransom stopped you mid-sentence by ‘putting your mouth to a better use’ -as he would have said. He had lowered his pants and underwear and his cock sprung free right in front of you, then he sat you down on the mattress and he stood up in front of you, his dick touching your lips, “Are you gonna suck it or you just wanna watch it?” he caressed your cheeks and forced you to open your mouth, taking in his long and thick cock. Surprisingly for him, you took it all in, such that the tip of your nose was pressed against the body hair on his pelvis and his balls pounded against your chin each time he slammed in and out, each time faster than before, “Fuck”, he said every time his tip hit that back of your throat and you looked up to him. Needless to say, his eyes were fixed on your face and careful to notice every face you made while sucking him. You didn’t have the control of the situation, rather it was him who was standing upon you and guiding your movement, “C’mon, good girl. You’ll be rewarded”, he put his hands on both sides of you head and pushed his cock down your throat one last time before you felt hot salty spurt swarming your mouth. As you swallowed it, Ransom pulled out and spread a good amount of his white liquid on your face, and your tits, too, “From now on, this is what I’ll think about every time I’ll see you work in the kitchen”, he rubbed his thumb on your cheeks and said: “Maybe, next time, I’ll be so kind to let you fuck yourself on the counter”, he picked you up and bended you over the desk, “But for today, it will be me who will fuck you”.

You felt his cold hand brushing against your butt-cheeks, and you jumped when he smacked both of them at the same moment. You hissed and didn’t say anything; before you could turn your head towards him, Ransom grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you towards him, making you touch his bare chest with your shoulder.

“I won’t go easy on you, sweetheart”, having said that, he made his way inside you and went on until his tip hit your cervix.

That was way beyond any other experience you had had. Not only was he very good with his tongue -as you had the chance to state not later than ten minutes ago-, but Ransom was also a very -very- good fucked: the vigor with which he pounded into you, the same strength with which he held you in place made you scream in pleasure. “Please, oh God!” you cried out as the pace increased.

“There’s no God here, sweetheart, only me”, Ransom whispered to your ear while pounding into you with an ungodly speed, and you could swear you were seeing the stars when he hit your G-spot, “You’re almost there, I can feel it”, one of his hands was placed on your head and the other one went drawing circles on your clit, taking you closer to the edge, “Tell me wat you want, sweetheart”.

“F-fuck”, you hissed as you felt his index finger pressing harder against your clit, “P-please…let m-me cum. I’m…I’m so close”, you raised your head and turned over to throw a look at him, “Please”, you asked him with pleading eyes. Ransom began thrusting irregularly -sign that he was close too- and you started breathing erratically. You cried out very loud when your orgasm finally hit, and a wave of pleasure washed you over. “Fuck…this was-“

“Y/N?! What the fuck are you doing?”

You turned pale. Ransom, instead, looked very amused with himself and was smirking at you, “Notify me when you’ll explain it to her” said him sitting down on his bed, “Please, go”.

“Go fuck yourself, Ransom.”

“Actually, I’ve just fucked you, sweetheart.”

ALL MY STORIES:

@thummbelina

@thegetawaywriter

@coffeebooksandfandom

@kiza4

@jemzeraion

@chris-evans-is-world

@rebloggingeverything

ALL CHRIS EVANS:

@stargazingfangirl18

@rororo06

@patzammit

@harrysthiccthighss

@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters

[fanficsloth]

If Walls Could Talk - 5 Seconds Of Summer.

*****SMUT*****

 ALSO JUST A REMIDER I WOULD STILL LIKE TO DO REQUESTS FOR IMAGINES, MY ASK BOX IS ALWAYS OPEN. <3

Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard.

(Y/N) Winston was sent away to boarding school when she was about sixteen.

Her father didn't want her turning into her older brother Dallas. But that was a big mistake.

When she arrived at the school, she turned heads of everyman. She knew how to get what she wanted. She had everyone wrapped around her finger.

For of course it was in her blood, she was a Winston.  Everything she learned she learned best from her older brother himself.

The gang hasn't seen her for years, she was finally back at home in Tulsa.

She had grown up into a beautiful woman. She held herself with the most confidence anyone has seen.

Dally thought it would be a good idea and get the whole gang back together when she came back. The pair was partners in crime.

When they were walking down the street to the Curtis household , everyone was staring at the young woman. But at this point she was so unfazed by their actions, she continues to carry her head held high, winking at some men with a cancer stick pressed between her lips.

All of the gang was sitting on the porch soaking up the sunlight before catching glimpse of who was walking up to the house.

They were all stunned by her beauty. They at least thought she was going to look identical to Dally. But they sure was wrong.

"Y'all know (Y/N) she doesn't need an introduction. But try any funny business, I'll kill ya. Or she'll do it before I have a chance to do it." Dally nudged his head at his sister before sitting next to Ponyboy and Johnny.

"Well someone had a nice puberty." Two Bit snickered at the young girl, her (Y/E/C) eyes rolled before flicking him off. "I wish I could say the same thing about you. Looks like you haven't grown since I left." she smirked while letting out a small giggle making the man shut up real quick.

Before anyone could say anything else a car pulled up with the last of the two members of the gang. Steve and most importantly Sodapop.

She always swooned at Sodapop but who didn't. The whole town knew about the heartthrob of Tulsa.

"Well, well, ain't it lil (Y/N). Back from jail?" Steve joked before giving her a big hug, "See Two-Bit, this is how you welcome someone back." she squinted her eyes at the man who was poking fun at her.

She felt eyes staring at her, her eyes looked over and saw Soda's eyes looking at her.

As like the other men, he didn't expect her to be so beautiful, strong, independent. He wasn't expecting her to be how she was when she returned. He thought she would be shy and timid like most women. But sure he was wrong.

"Soda." her plump lips turned into a smile before following the men inside the Curtis household.

As they all crowded around the tv, (Y/N) went into the kitchen to grab a beer.

"Aren't you a little too young to be drinking" she heard a voice joke, she rolled her eyes before shutting the fridge behind her. "Okay grandpa." she bit her lower lip before meeting Soda's bright blue eyes.  

"I missed ya (Y/N). Never thought you'd be back. How was it?" Soda asked while placing his arms across his chest being genuinely interested in what she had to say.

Her soft hands opened the bottle of booze with no problem which surprised the young man.

"You know going to class, getting hit on by men, beating people up, oh can't forget partying. You know the usual school shit." she laughed before moving her (Y/C/H) out of her face. "How's you and Sandy? Your new job?"

"She left me. But worked distracted me from it. I'm really liking it there. I'm learning a lot of new things" he nodded his head.

(Y/N) walked up slowly to him before placing her cold hands on his face making his skin have goosebumps. "I know what else can distract you with that." he whispered, her big eyes looking up at him.

Soda sucked in a big breath before grabbing her hands to remove them. "(Y/N), you know I can't. You're Dally's little sister. You asking me to have a death wish?" he smirked showing off his dimples that she loved.

"It'll be worth it." she winked before walking back into the Curtis's living room sitting next to her older brother, leaving Soda to walk in with a red face.

Throughout the weeks, (Y/N) and Soda would always run into each other. Whether it be at the store, walking around, at the diners, clubs. Everywhere.

Their eyes would always find each other's. They were watching one another. They just couldn't get enough.

This time, the gang agreed to go out to a club, let loose for one night, as the men drank. Soda and (Y/N) just drank soft drinks while laughing at the mess, the jokes the others were saying.

Bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound. And Soda was addicted to the sound of her laugh.

As (Y/N) grew bored, her hands wondered onto Soda's lap while drawing circles. She wanted to feel him, hear him. She wanted him.

What (Y/N) wanted, she always got. It's the cherry on top for it to be a secret Romeo and Juliet situation.

"Wanna blow this joint?" she whispered into Soda's ear, being extra cautious to be sure the other men didn't see. Most importantly Dally. But he was too drunk, head down on the table with his eyes shut.

He pressed his lips together before nodding his head. "Hey where you going? We're just getting the party started. " Steve asked while scrunching his eyebrows together. "I don't wanna be here anymore. I'm bored, I can't drink out in public. You guys just drink up, have a drink for me. Just keep an eye on Dally okay? If something happens you'll regret it."

The gang just looked at her before looking over at Soda. Why would he be going with her.

"I'm just going to make sure she get's back safely. Soc's man, she's like the golden ticket to them being Dally's sister." he ran his hands through his slicked back hair  trying to play it cool.

"You have your knife on ya?" Pony asked, Soda nodded his head before turning to follow the impatient  girl who was already walking out.

As the pair felt the breeze of fresh air on their face, they linked hands and ran quickly to the Curtis house.

When they hit the front door, Soda pressed (Y/N) against the door smashing his lips to hers.

Her soft hands making her way into his dark hair.

Soda lifted her body while never breaking contact with her lips to carry her into his room, he slammed the door shut with his foot while placing her on the bed.

When the doors close, it's bond to get loud.

The pair were quick to remove every clothing item they had on, Soda was nipping at her neck but was careful not to leave any trace of marks, knowing the gang would see.

As she laid on her back, Soda positioned himself to her entrance, "You sure." he breathed, (Y/N) nodded her head before hiding her face in his neck with her hands on his bare back. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

Soda moved forward causing the both of them to hum in harmony.

(Y/N)'s nails digging in his back with every movement.

"Soda" she moaned, while pressing her lips together.

They have waited for this moment, the tension of the pair was just too much to bare anymore longer.

As they both were reaching their Climax , Soda pressed his lips to hers before they both hit their high.

Soda fell beside her, with his arms wrapped around her body while she leaned against his side tracing shapes into his chest.

His blue eyes looked over at her with her (Y/ H/ C) messy, in her face. Making her more beautiful. "You know you're a queen?" he asked her pressing a small kiss on her forehead.

(Y/N) just smiled letting out a small laugh, "Uncrowned queen I might add."

But before the pair could get any notice, they heard the door open with loud voices following after.

The two's eyes widened before hurrying up and finding their lost clothing items with a couple of "Shits" leaving the young girls mouth  while fixing her hair in the small mirror.

The pair made it downstairs while sitting on the couch with the gang.

"What you guys do while we were gone. I bet you they did the dirty. Did you guys do the dirty?" Two-Bit laughed while raising his eyebrows up and down, causing drunk Dally punching him on the arm. "That's my sister you're talking about asshole. Soda knows better."  

Soda's blue eyes narrowed a bit ignoring what the pair were talking about. But before he knew it, (Y/N) was whispering in his ear again.

"If these walls could talk, I'd hope they wouldn't say anything. Because they've seen way too many things."

Soda gathered up the courage to respond softly in her ear, "It's so worth it."

[mymoonagedaydream]

A Loki x reader would be great please. Maybe something where the reader isn’t really an avenger but is somehow really close with one member, so she visits a lot and is kind to Loki but at the same time doesn’t take any of his crap?

The New Guy

Summary: You were just about at the end of your rope with Natasha’s friends- until you met the newest addition to the compound

Pairing: Loki x y/n

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Language, floofy

Author's Note: Thank you for the request anon :) I really enjoyed writing this one 

---

Natasha had invited you for drinks at the compound again. God help you. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy spending time with her, you just really didn’t fit in with her work friends. They were all jacked up super soldiers with no interest in talking about anything other than their work- as soon as they found out you’d never been in a fight and you didn't have any personal firearm preferences, they had very little time for you. 

When you arrived they were all sprawled out on the sofas, looking as intimidating as usual, already half-cut on whatever Thor was handing out. You were offered some but Nat quickly swatted it away, assuring you that one sip would leave you absolutely paralytic. 

The usual conversations happened, about missions and combat and god knows what else, until the party inevitably degenerated into the boys finding excuses to make each other take shots. You eventually managed to retreat to the kitchen, claiming that you were going to grab another drink but really just needing a break from the frat party you'd found yourself in the middle of. 

Opening a beer and flopping against the counter, you rubbed your forehead wearily. In future you were definitely only hanging out with Nat at your place. 

Light footsteps padded into the kitchen. You glanced up to see a man you didn't recognise with pale, almost translucent skin and jet-black hair falling onto his shoulders. He stopped suddenly when he saw you. 

'Hi.' You smiled politely. He stared at you silently for a second, looking a little puzzled. 'Oh I'm y/n, Nat's friend.' 

'Loki. Charmed.' His voice was deep and smooth, sending faint goosebumps down your arm. 

His gaze lingered on you just a beat too long as he passed you to get to the fridge, then scanning his eyes over the contents and making a series of disgusted noises.

Glancing back over to the sofas, you figured that they probably weren’t missing you, so there was really no need to hurry back. Besides, this guy had really piqued your curiosity. 

'Do you work for Stark too?' 

His shoulders tensed up slightly and he gave an exasperated chuckle, before turning round to shoot you a gaze that could cut metal. 

'Do I look like I work for him?'

The words were coated in a confusing mix of amusement and annoyance. You thought it was a pretty reasonable question, since he seemed to be living in the compound, so you weren't about to start backtracking. 

'Honestly, yeah. Kind of.’ He smirked and narrowed his eyes at you. ‘You've got a bit of a vampire thing going on, seems like a niche that Tony hasn't filled yet.'

'I don’t think I like your tone.’

The side of your mouth curled into a mischievous smile, the temptation to keep teasing him almost overwhelming you, but you managed to fight it. 

'Why are you here then? If you don’t mind me asking.'

‘Apparently I can’t be trusted to function without supervision.’ He reached for a glass and filled it with water, adding under his breath ‘at least in prison I was left alone.’

He started heading back towards the door, but you were pretty keen to elongate this interaction as much as possible, cause it was saving you from one of the worst evenings of your life.

'Not joining the party?' 

Just the words left your mouth, a half-empty empty beer can flew across the room and exploded against the wall. Thor bellowed something you didn't quite catch and the other frat boys started hooting like morons. 

Loki moved his gaze slowly from the freshly-stained wall back over to you. 'I'd rather have my limbs torn off by wolves.'

A long, laboured sigh escaped your lips. ‘Me too.’ 

You rubbed your eyes harshly, waiting to hear the sound of his footsteps retreating from the kitchen, but nothing happened. You dropped your hands and felt your stomach flip when you saw him still standing opposite you, giving you a curious smile. 

‘What was your name again?’

‘Y/n.’ You mumbled, his gaze making you a little nervous.

‘Very nice meeting you y/n.’

Your eyes followed him as he walked out of the kitchen. You were too preoccupied with analysing what’d just happened to notice Nat approaching, squinting at you suspiciously.

‘Oh god, I know that face.’ 

Your eyes flicked over to her, feeling yourself blushing slightly. ‘What face?’

‘Jesus y/n, I've been trying to set you up with Steve for weeks and now suddenly you're interested in Thor’s psychopath brother?.’

‘He seemed nice enough.’

She grabbed a beer out of the fridge, not wavering her irritated stare from your face. ‘He destroyed Manhattan and almost killed all of us.’

‘Ah.’ Your heart sunk a little, but thinking more on it, you realised that something really wasn’t adding up. ‘Wait, why the hell is he here then?’

‘Thor says he's changed.’

‘Oh right… well maybe he has.’ You shrugged and gave her a teasing smile. ‘His brother of all people would know.’

‘You're unbelievable.’

She was probably right. 

Then again, you were a big advocate for giving people a second chance. 

Oh, who were you kidding? With that smile he could have all the fucking chances he wanted.

---

It’s true, you had promised yourself that in future you’d only see Nat outside the compound, but now you thought maybe you weren't being fair. Maybe you should give her friends another chance. Maybe if you hang around the compound long enough you might bump into silky voice again. 

Besides, this time it wasn’t just a bunch of dudes getting hammered, it was a freaking garden party. Surely it couldn't degenerate in the same way those other nights did...

You were there for ten minutes before Thor sprayed champagne all over your outfit. 

‘My apologies, friend of Natasha.’ He obviously didn’t remember your name. ‘I think you look better like that anyway.’

You could hear a chorus of sniggering behind you. You had half a mind to just give up and leave, when you felt a hand plant itself on your lower back. 

Loki appeared beside you and passed you a wad of napkins with his free hand. ‘Must you be such a blundering idiot all the time, brother?’ 

‘It’s fine, just an accident.’ You shot Thor a tight smile and wiped the sticky alcohol off your face. As soon as he moved out of earshot, you muttered under your breath. ‘Fucking asshole.’

‘An accurate assessment.’ Loki chuckled before removing his hand and slowly moving to stand opposite you. ‘I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect to see you again.’ 

‘Yeah? Why's that?’

‘You didn't exactly seem like you were enjoying their company.’ 

A dejected grimace spread across your face. ‘Was it that obvious?’

You tried your best to dry your clothes, but they were already stained beyond repair. Sighing in exasperation, you balled up the napkins, tossed them on a nearby table and gave Loki a defeated shrug. 

He shot some daggers over at the gaggle of idiots, still guffawing amongst themselves, before placing a hand softly on your upper arm. 

‘I was about to take a walk through the woods. Perhaps you'd like to join me?’

‘That actually sounds really nice.’ You gave him a faint smile. ‘Thanks.’

Following him into the trees, you checked behind you a few times, only relaxing when the noise of the party started fading into the background.

‘Worried we'll be hunted?’

‘Nope, just don’t want Nat to see us disappear into the forest together.’ He furrowed his brows at you in slight confusion. ‘She made it pretty clear that I should stay away from you.’

‘And yet, here you are, alone with me in the dense wilderness. Maybe you have a deathwish?’

‘Maybe. Or maybe I think your bark is worse than your bite.’ 

You walked together for a while, conversation flowing easily. You weren't sure if it was the fresh air, the smell of champagne or your growing excitement at being alone with Loki, but your head started swimming a little.

Every single guy you'd been with throughout your life had bored you almost to tears, it had just been one meathead after another. Granted, moving straight onto alleged psychopaths probably wasn't ideal, but you were a grown ass adult and you were allowed to make terrible decisions if you felt like it. 

Jesus, maybe you did have a deathwish. 

Coming to a clearing, you both stopped at the edge of a small river crossing your path. There was a short, comfortable silence as you listened to the flowing water, enjoying the peace you’d found in what would otherwise have been a turbulent evening. 

‘I can see why you like this walk.’ You eventually piped up. ‘It must be lovely and peaceful when you're alone.’

He let out a deep, breathy chuckle and turned towards you. ‘I'm actually rather enjoying having some company. Intelligent conversation seems difficult to come by in this place.’

‘Interesting. I can’t possibly imagine why anyone would avoid talking to you.’ 

Your voice was dripping with sarcasm. When you finally dared to turn your head and sneak a look at his face, you were relieved to see that he seemed more amused than offended, narrowed eyes glaring at you above a roguish smirk.

‘Let those halfwits avoid me.’ He raised his arm and tugged at your shoulder, gently turning you round to face him. ‘I take great care when choosing my company.’ 

His hand dropped as he stepped closer, leaving barely an inch between your chests. Your breath hitched and you felt yourself tense up a little, his close proximity eliciting a potent cocktail of anxiety and excitement. 

'Are you frightened?' 

His words were barely a whisper, but they raced down your spine and along your arms like an electric shock, making every part of your body tingle. You shook your head slowly, doing everything you could to hold yourself steady. 

'Good.'

His arm circled your waist and he pulled you towards him assertively, gazing down at you against his chest for a second before dropping his face and pressing his lips firmly against yours. 

They were ice cold, the shock causing you to pull in a sharp breath through your nose. He seemed to notice, as his mouth curled into a slight smile against yours, the feeling of which made your stomach quake even harder.

You relaxed as you felt his other arm snake around your waist, both of them tightening to press his body more firmly against yours. You slid your arms around his neck and pulled his head down further, deepening the kiss and eliciting a deep growl from his throat. 

After a minute he pulled away slightly, bringing a hand up to cup your face and hold it in place, hovering close enough to his that you could feel his warm breath against your lips.

A wide, satisfied smile spread across his face. 

‘Perhaps Midgard isn’t so bad after all.’

---

[post-modern-prometheus]

hello! can you talk about mike and max friendship or mike and robin friendship headcanons?

>:) oh yes. yes i can. 

i’ll start with max and mike

two things for them

first, they “hate” each other. they’re literally the same person, so it really just baffles the party how they can’t get along. but they don’t realize that itself is the problem. they’re both opinionated and painfully stubborn. the party always has constant chatter surrounding it. half of that is max and mike bickering. always over stupid stuff. and sometimes they do get mad at each other for real. and for literally No reason. but would literally die for each other, even though they like to pretend they wouldn’t.

second is actually less of a headcanon, more something that won’t happen but i would like to see. 

this part is actually canon but a) no one ever talks about it and it’s so funny and b) it leads me to an actual headcanon: when they’re arguing in the gym and max is on her board in season 2, you can faintly hear them while el’s walking in the hallway. mike says something like “i don’t see any tricks, you’re just going around in a circle” and then max replies “if it’s so easy, you try it” and he’s all like “no i don’t know how, but i bet if i spent all day practicing i could do them”. which let’s just take a moment. iconic mr. wheeler. so incredibly wrong but iconic nonetheless.

which leads me to the headcanon part- but you already know where i’m going with this. max shows up one day, a week or two after el and the byers moved away. she has two board and a helmet. before she even says anything, mike’s like No. she tells him that it wasn’t her idea. el asked her to make sure he didn’t get all emo again. that still doesn’t convince him. she reminds him of his aforementioned claims. he’s a stubborn little shit- they both know it. so he begrudgingly takes the board and helmet and they spend all day practicing.

he’s not good. (it’s mike guys, what did you expect.) it takes him the entire day to be able to push without falling over. he falls so many times. max constantly cites it as the best day of her life. but they practice all fall and winter. finally spring comes, and he can ride without falling over. they decide to skate in town. max is absolutely aware of the fact that you’re not supposed to or the shop-owners will chase you away or call the cops. so many birds were flipped that day. in a chase to rival back to the future, they escape any retribution.

once they’re in the clear, laying sweaty and out of breath in the grass by the park, mike apologizes to max for being such an asshole when they first met (and for awhile after that). she tries to stop him because max mayfield doesn’t like mushy emotions, but he continues on. they even civilly revamp their argument from over the summer and really take the time to listen understand each other. afterwards, they agree to never speak of the moment again.

besides that one time, they don’t really like to talk all that much. they have the other members of the party for that. when they hang out, they skate, listen to music (there’s a mutual love for joan jett and the runaways because i said so), and actively participate in teenage rebellion. which is exactly what they need from each other.

they still bicker all the time.

now onto our favorite case of wlw/mlm solidarity, robin and mike. again, thsi is more of a lil story than a headcanon but...

i’m definitely stealing this from someone but i can’t remember who: mike gets a job at the home video store. i just adore it sm. and that’s when robin and mike actually start to interact. before that they were always “random kid who always bothers my coworker and apparently is a part of some supernatural conspiracy” and “my sister’s ex’s coworker who stumbled into our supernatural conspiracy predicament”.

the funny part is that the party thinks steve and robin are dating. but steve keeps denying it, so dustin demands mike do recon at work. to get him off his back, mike relents, amused. after a week, sick of his obvious attempts at prying into her personal life, robin is so annoyed that she kinda just… blurts it out. that she doesn’t “even like guys!”

at first, she’s scared that he’s gonna be all homophobic, from the unreadable look on his face. but then he shrugs and just nods and says. “oh cool. my bad.”

the next day, the two of them have the early shift by themselves. as robin bitches about people not rewinding their tapes, mike asks her how she knew she was gay. she tells him that she realized she liked girls a lot more than her friends did. in a very different way. even though he’s not looking at her, she can sense that something is bothering him, and she’s beginning to guess what it is. from one gay to another. her sixth sense. “but what about guys?” he continues. “how did you know the difference, that you didn’t like-“

“both?” she finishes for him. he finally looks at her and she tells him that sometimes people do like both. she just wasn’t one of them. he tells her that he is.

robin pronounces herself his “gay fairy-godmother”.

oh, also, here’s a headcanon if the show were set in the modern day: she would be the one to introduce him to my chemical romance.

this one took me little bit to respond to because i have so many ideas for these relationships and i wanted to make sure i communicated them the best way i could! i would die to see either of these friendships actually happen in the show, so here’s to hoping!

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI Rogers and Barnes: The Serious Cereal Serial Killer Episode 16: Is This Thing Rolling...

Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Part 2

Warnings: Bad Language words.

Please read Part 1 first.

“I’m not trying that on, you seen the price tag?” Bucky glared at Katie who narrowed he eyes as she held up the Midnight Blue Soho Double Breasted wool suit.

“You are so trying it on Barnes, you’ll look amazing in it.” She insisted. “Trust me, Sam will love it”

“Sam can wear it if he loves it.” Bucky shook his head. “Doll face, it’s almost five hundred bucks!”

“It’s a Paul Smith” she shrugged “You want quality, you gotta pay. Trust me, a good suit is an investment Bucky.”

Bucky considered this for a moment before he cocked his head and a teasing grin spread across his face “Yeah, I suppose. And I can always use it for the next wedding.”

“You’re not getting married in that.” Katie shook her head. “You need a tux.”

“I’m not getting married, you are.” He looked at her and she rolled her eyes, well used to his constant teasing about he and Steve’s future by now.

“Just try on the goddamned suit.”

“Cranky much?” he mumbled.

“May I remind you that I am hungover and you dragged me out here to help you but you keep bitching about everything I suggest. I should be dying on my sofa indulging in indecent amounts of sugar.” Kate narrowed he eyes at him.

“Technically it’s not your sofa. You might have moved in, but…”

“Err, it belongs to Steve and he belongs to me, ergo it’s mine.”

“You know I could argue against that but if I ask him he will probably say of course I’m hers with that stupid goofy smile on his dumb face.”

Katie smirked “Exactly.” She thrust the suit at him “Go. Try. NOW!”

Bucky took the suit “Vicious.”

Leaving Katie glaring at his back he headed into the changing room and quickly stripped before pulling on the suit. And, in all fairness, he had to hand it to Katie, it was smart, probably the nicest one he has ever worn to be fair. It felt good, decent quality and was tailored exceptionally well. Dare he admit it, he looked pretty damned good. He opened the cubicle door and walked out of the changing room to get Stark’s opinion, finding her stood not far away looking at something on her phone, frowning.

“You ok?” he asked, and she nodded, not raising her head, her eyes fixed on the screen.

“Yeah was just looking at some photos that Tony put of the bachelor party on facebook…” she took a breath and looked at Bucky “How did Steve really get that black eye? I can tell he is lying to me.”

Ah, crap… should have seen that one coming Barnes.

He let out a sigh “Ask him”

“I did, and now I’m asking you.”

He groaned, knowing full well he wasn’t going to get out of this. Fuck you, Steve, fuck you.

“Fine, I’ll tell you if you promise not to freak out.” He looked at Katie who nodded.

“Promise”

“Why don’t I believe you? And if you say anything to Steve I’ll bug your bedroom and post the recordings on my Instastories”

“I said I wouldn’t flip out at you.” She looked at him “That’s all I’m promising, but seeing as we’re making threats, James,  if you don’t tell me I’ll also post a video. The one I got of you singing into a wooden spoon the other morning to The Sound Of Music”

Bucky felt his mouth drop open in horror. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me bitch.” She shook her head “It will go under the caption of Bucky Von Crapp, seeing as you sounded like a strangled cat.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, as he began to recall the events of the previous night.

“Be your bachelor party next.” Bucky grinned at Steve as they stood at the bar in the compound.

Steve rolled his eyes “Just don’t.”

“Come on punk, you know it ain’t that far-fetched.” Bucky grinned and turned to order their drinks. Just as he was paying he heard Steve muttering to the side of him.

“You gotta be shitting me.”

Frowning he turned to look at Steve, whose jaw was twitching. His nostrils flared as he’s glared at something, or someone. Bucky followed his eyeline and saw a tall, slim, dark haired man dressed in a white button down and black slacks, stood with a group of other guys.

“Am I supposed to know who that is?” he turned back to Steve, a puzzled expression on his face.

“I wish I didn’t know who it is. It’s Ward.” Steve replied simply.

Bucky’s frown deepened as he looked back at the man, then turned once more to Steve “As in Stark’s douchebag ex Ward?”

“In the flesh.”

Bucky took the beer from the bartender with a thanks and looked Ward over again “He looks like a dick.”

Besides him Steve picked up his beer, “If it looks like a dick…” at that point Ward let out a huge laugh, “And sounds like a dick…”

Bucky snorted and watched as a slim, bottle blonde woman in a tight skirt and very revealing top approached Ward. Ward smiled and looped an arm round her, giving her a kiss.

“Wait…is that who he did the dirty on Stark with?” Bucky looked at Steve.

The Captain nodded.

“Talk about a down grade.” Bucky shook his head “She ain’t a patch on your girl Stevie.”

“I know, thanks pal.” Steve gave a small smile then sighed “If Tony sees him….” He glanced around for the man in question to see him stood with a few other members of the Batchelor Party, looking the other way.

“Why is he even in here? I thought Pepper vetoed him after the incident on the karaoke night?” Bucky asked.

“She did. But Happy isn’t working is he? He’s over there drinking with Tony, and Pepper aint here either so… “ Steve took a breath and frowned “I don’t get it, why would he want to come here anyway? And how would he know he’d get in…unless…he found out about the party somehow…”

“Probably just a coincidence.” Bucky offered.

“I don’t believe in coincidences Buck.” Steve looked at him. Bucky held his gaze for a moment before he turned back in Ward’s direction and took a deep breath as he saw the man in question’s eyes flick towards them. A sly grin spread across Ward’s face and he said something to the woman who nodded as he began to head towards them.

“Well, looks like we’re about to find out.” Bucky muttered. Steve turned to him, followed his gaze and the rolled his eyes, turning back to the bar.

Ward stopped at the other side of the bar, placing his order before he remarked. “Rogers.”

Steve didn’t even look at him when he replied “What are you doing here Ward?”

“Same as you, having a good time with some friends.” He gestured back to the group he had been with “ I see it’s Tony’s bachelor party. Pepper, I presume?”

Steve continued to ignore him.

“Give him my regards.”

At that, Steve turned his head in Ward’s direction just long enough to shoot him a filthy look before he picked up his drink.

“Come on Rogers, you still bitter at me?”

Steve swallowed a mouthful of his beer “Bitter isn’t exactly the word I would use” his voice was flat, unemotional, and Bucky knew that was far more dangerous than when he displayed out and out anger.

Time to step in.

“Look, jack ass…” Bucky pulled himself up to his full height and glared at Ward. “Why don’t you go and talk to Tony yourself. Sure he’d be thrilled to see you after what you did to his sister.”

Ward looked down at Bucky, there was a few inches height difference but it didn’t bother the Sergeant in the slightest. He knew if it came to it he could handle his own.

“And you are?” Ward raised his eyebrows.

“Barnes. Sergeant James Barnes.”

“That’s quite a mouthful Sergeant.” Ward mused. “And, speaking of mouthfuls. How’s Katie doing Rogers?”

Steve gripped his beer bottle tighter, an action Bucky saw in the corner of his eye. “Don’t you even mention her name asshole.”

“Are you ever gonna man up and ask her out?” Ward shook his head and at that Steve turned to face him.

“I’m warning you. Stop talking about her.”

At his words a smirk spread across Ward’s face. “Oh my god, you finally did…you two are…you’re together.”

Steve simply stared at him as Bucky grinned, unable to stop himself from speaking the childish insult that had cropped into his head.

“Well I know which one of you got the short straw, I mean you didn’t exactly trade Stark in for a better model did you? Certainly not from the looks of your poor man’s Dolly Parton over there anyway.”

To his delight the smug grin on Ward’s face slipped and a flash of anger was noticeable in his eyes.

Steve lay his a hand on Bucky’s shoulder “Leave it pal, he’s not worth it.”  But it was too late, Ward has bitten back, rising to Bucky’s jibe.

“Don’t you dare talk about my fiancé that way.”

And at that Steve snorted “Fiancé? Seriously?”

Ward glared at him “You got something to say Rogers?”

“Nothing at all.” Steve chuckled. “I wish her luck, she’s gonna need it.” With that he picked up his bottle “Come on Buck.”

Steve turned to go and Bucky looked Ward up and down one more time, smirking, before he to made to follow Steve.

Crisis averted.

“Hey, Rogers? She’s a good fuck isn’t she?”

Crisis re-emerging.

Steve stopped, his shoulders tense and he took a deep breath, but didn’t turn round.

“Does she still do that thing with her nose? You know, just as she’s about to come? That little twich?” Ward continued, letting out a little groan “Man even thinking about that now does things to me…I kinda miss it.”

At that Steve spun around, blazing with anger ready to go for Ward but he was too late. Bucky had already shoved the asshole hard in the chest.

“You’re really starting to piss me off.” He growled as Ward stumbled back a few steps. Bucky clocked that some of his friends were now walking towards them, and was distracted slightly when Ward shoved him back. Bucky then spotted the swing that was coming his way and ducked. Unfortunately Steve, who was stood behind him, took the punch straight to the left side of his face. The Captain staggered a few steps backwards before he righted himself and then drew his right fist back and smacked it straight into Ward’s nose. Ward dropped to the floor, blood billowing down his shirt as Steve shook his fist out, flexing his fingers.

Bucky blinked as Ward lay on the floor, the force of Steve’s punch knocking him out cold and he turned to his friend, raising an eyebrow a little “I had him on the ropes.”

“I know you did.” Steve looked at his friend before he sighed “Suppose we better call 911 so they can get him on a gurney…”

Katie blinked as Bucky finished his tale. “So it was Ward?”

Bucky nodded “You understand why he didn’t want to tell you now, yeah?”

“I guess so” she bit her lip.

“I gotta ask, what the fuck did you ever see in him?” Bucky shook his head “Tony’s right, the guy is a shitweasel.”

She snorted “Trust me, I have no idea.”

Silence fell between the two of them and Bucky took a deep breath “You’re not mad are you?”

“Mad? No, I just think you’re a pussy for dodging the punch and letting Stevie take it Barnes.” She teased, smiling at him.

He shrugged “First time for everything.”

“Suppose I’ll have to thank you both for defending my honour.” She smiled, before her smile turned into a dirty smirk “But your thanks will be a little less physical than Steve’s.”

Bucky groaned “Gross.” He then looked at her, narrowing his eyes “You promised not to tell him I told you.”

“No I promised not to go mad.” She stated.

Bucky looked at her, contemplating her words before he realised that was in fact what she had said. He let out a growl of frustration and shook his head “Whatever.”

At that point they both heard a low whistle and turned to see Sam striding through the men’s boutique towards them.

“Well look at you sergeant Barnes, you’re gonna kill all the ladies”  Sam grinned, raising his hand and extending his finger and thumb in a gun motion “Pew pew!”

Katie turned to Bucky, smiling “Told you he was gonna love it.”

Bucky rolled his eyes before he smirked and turned to Sam “Not the ladies I’m after.” And with that he gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Aww you two are so cute.” Katie clapped her hands together.

“Piss off Stark” Bucky shot back.

“Now who’s cranky?” she laughed “I tell you you’re cute and you get all pissy!”

Bucky shook his head “I’m gonna get out of this suit.”

“Need any help.” Sam quipped and Katie arched an eyebrow.

“Guess I’ll be right there at the opposite side of the store, pretending I don’t know you two.”

“Now you know how I feel around you and Stevie.” Bucky looked at her.

Katie laughed “You know, the 4 of us should go out again soon.”

“Yeah, but without the element of surprise this time.” Sam shot her and Bucky an accusatory look

“Well it’s all out in the open now. But I kinda miss the sneaking around…it was a little exciting.” Katie shrugged.

“Seriously?” Sam looked at her and she snorted.

“No, it was hell.” And then she grinned “Although the secret sex was good.”

“Tell me more girl.” Sam wiggled his eyebrows and Bucky shook his head.

“Trust me you don’t want to know”

“Oh, trust me I do.”

“And on that note, now I’m really gonna go get changed.” Bucky nodded towards the changing rooms “Then we can drop you home so you can die on the sofa.”

“Actually I need you to drop me off at Momma Rogers’” she said.

“Oooh you having lunch at Sarah’s?” Bucky smiled, knowing full well that he’d end up with an invite when he dropped her off.

“Yup, and I can’t wait.” She said, “I need food. My stomach feels like its eating itself.”

***** Steve walked into his Ma’s, stamping his feet on the mat, ridding his boots of the light dusting of snow he’d picked up since getting out of the car.

“Ma?” he gave a shout as he unwrapped the scarf from round his neck and began to undo his thick, blue quilted Canada Goose jacket. She emerged out of the kitchen into the hall and beamed at him, but her smile slipped and she nodded to his face.

“I thought the days of you coming home with a black eye were well behind you.” She stared at him “What the hell did you do?”

“Things got a bit messy at Tony’s stag party” he shrugged as his mom gently reached up to cup his cheek, tilting his face round so she can see it better. “Don’t fuss ma.”

“Shut up Steven.” Sarah’s voice was as stern as her face “I’m your mother and I’ll fuss if I want to.”

Steve rolled his eyes as her hand dropped back to her side. “Has Star seen this?”

“We live together. Of course she has.”

“Hmm, bet she didn’t like it either.” Sarah shot back “Good job you’re a fast healer. That would look a right mess in the wedding photos next week.”

“He came off worse, trust me.” Steve shrugged off her comment.

“You’re a Captain in the NYPD Steven, fancy brawling in a bar like some school kid.” His mother shook her head.

“I know ma, but…well it had to be done, and I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” He urged, hoping she would take the hint and drop it but of course she didn’t.

“What do you mean it had to be done?” she pressed and Steve knew he wasn’t going to be able to fob her off so decided to tell her the truth.

“Ward showed up last night at the compound. He was saying vile things about Katie. Really vile”

“So you punched him?” Sarah deadpanned.

“No, I mean yes, after he took a swing at Bucky…look, it’s really not a big deal.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes “I really don’t like that boy. Tony isn’t particularly fond of him either.”

“That’s because he’s a prick.” Steve shrugged.

“Language Steven. But yes, he is a prick. Now, let me get you some tea.”

Steve followed her into the kitchen and she filled the kettle and Steve started rummaging in the fridge for a snack.

“You know it’s funny his name is Grant.”

Steve emerged with a piece of pie that he had found and looked at her “What do you mean?” He took a bite of the pie which turned out to be cherry. It was good.

“I mean you both share the name and couldn’t be more different from one another.” His mother mused.

Steve swallowed his food. “Well, not all the ladies called Sarah are as pretty as you…or make as good a pie as you.”

Sarah smiled at her son, shaking her head. “Shut up Stevie.”

He chuckled “What you making for lunch?” he asked as he checked his watch to see it was almost 1. Kate had text him about 15 minutes ago to say they were leaving the store in Brooklyn City centre so she shouldn’t be far off.

“I take it that means you’re staying then?” Sarah turned to look at him and he grinned, as she shook her head, smiling to herself “Oh, and where is Star by the way?”

“She’s gone shopping with Bucky for a suit. Told her to meet me here if that’s ok? She shouldn’t be long.”

“Of course it’s ok. You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

Steve smiled, swallowed the last of his pie and took a deep breath. He knew that he didn’t have long to do what he needed to do before Katie arrived so he had to do it now. “Er, Ma, before she gets here, I err, I wanted to talk to you.” He said, his hand gently rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah?” she asked, not looking at him as she reached for 2 mugs in the cupboard.

“Yeah…” god his palms were sweaty, this shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it was, it’s his mom…

Sarah turned to face him, a mug still in her right hand and she frowned at the expression on his face. “What is it son? What’s wrong?

“Nothing’s wrong. Quite the opposite actually.” He took another deep, shaky breath and smiled at his mom. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these last few days especially, and, well, with Katie living with me for the past few months it’s kinda hit home just how good it feels, ya know? And I want it all the time…so before I came here, I went to ask Tony for his blessing to ask Katie to marry me.” At his words he watched the mug slip from his mother’s fingers and it hit the tiled floor and smashed. He had expected her to react in some way but not quite like that. “Ma you ok?” He watched as she brought a trembling hand to her mouth.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ok Stevie…it’s just…” she blinked “I’ve been waiting for this day to arrive for so long.”

Steve couldn’t resist teasing her “I didn’t say he had given his blessing.”

His mom looked at him, arching an eyebrow “Would it make a difference to you if he hadn’t?”

“Not really.” He shrugged, smiling softly.

“But he has right?” Sarah looked at him “Because I know Howard and Maria would be as happy as I am right now.”

Steve smiled softly. “Yeah. He did. Long Story, but…let’s just say I know Howard would be happy too. But don’t get too excited, she hasn’t said yes yet.”

Sarah scoffed “Oh hush, like she’s gonna say no!”

He smiled softly before he looked at his feet before he glanced back at his mother “So, Ma, I was…I was wondering if I could have you ring?”

Sarah smiled, her eyes shining as she gave a nod “Of course you can son.” She walked towards him and cupped his face “It’s been waiting for you for years.”

Steve smiled, the lump that he had earlier felt in his throat in Tony’s study was back again as he looked at his mom. “You know, there was a time I thought I’d ask you for it for Peggy.”

Sarah shook her head and with a simply shrug stated “I always knew it would be Star’s”

The sentiment hit Steve like a tonne of bricks. First Howard, now his mom. The man he had long since come to regard as a father and his mother had both spotted what he had failed to see for almost a decade.

“Ma…” he managed to choke out, his eyes filling and Sarah smiled.

“I know son. And it makes me so happy to know you’re happy too. Finally.” She leaned up to give him a huge and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

She left the kitchen leaving Steve to his own thoughts. He’d had a few doubts, not about marrying Katie, but whether or not it was too soon, but that fact that neither Tony nor his mother had commented on the fact that they’d only technically been together for 3 months. In reality they’d been with one another for much longer, having been best friends and dare he say it, completely and utterly blind to what was in front of them. There wasn’t a woman in the world that would ever come close. He smiled to himself, suddenly his eye didn’t hurt anymore. After speaking to Tony and his ma, and most importantly Howard’s message he felt like he was living his life how he should be. He had everything he has ever wanted, and more.

Sarah walked back into the room and handed him a black velvet ring box. He opened it, smiling as he took in the ring which sat nestled in the ruby red silk inside of the box. It was a large oval shaped diamond, with a pave set slim band. It was delicate enough to suit his girl but also big enough to be flashy, which he knew she wouldn’t care about but he did. There was something in his ego that wanted Katie to have a decent rock on her finger. But the main thing about it was the sentiment. This had belonged to his great-grandmother, then his grandmother, and now his mother, passed down the Roger’s side of the family for generations until it reached his Pa. He looked at his mom, his eyes straying to her ring finger where she still wore her simple wedding band having stopped wearing her engagement ring some 5 years or so after his father had died. When he had asked her why, she’d sighed and simply said that on what would have been their 10th wedding anniversary seeing it had made her sad as it reminded her of the day his father proposed. He hadn’t pushed her to explain, he understood.

“You know it was pretty unheard of to have a diamond that big back when your great-grandfather bought but, well, you know the Rogers side had some connections so to speak.” She said and Steve snorted. He had a feeling if he dug far enough back into his father’s side of the family he would uncover all sorts of Irish-Italian mob members, which was the reason he had never bothered.

“I forgot how pretty it is” Steve smiled “It’s been years since I last saw it. But I remember how I used to play with it when I was little and you held me in your arms when I was sick.” Sarah smiled fondly “Yes you used to like to roll it around my finger.”

“It was soothing.” Steve said, his eyes on the ring as it sparkled in the light of the kitchen. “I liked how it shone under the light.”

“Maybe one day your kids will do the same to Star.” Sarah said, a little suggestion in her tone and Steve looked at her.

“I’d like that Ma.” He confirmed and she took a deep breath.

“Well, I hope it happens soon.” The looked at him pointedly “I’m getting old Steve and I want to be able to run around after my grandkids.”

“Behave!” Steve laughed, shutting the box as he looked at her, smirking “There’s plenty of life in the old dog yet.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes at him “Cheeky.”

At that point they were interrupted by the bell ringing followed by the opening of the door and Katie’s voice drifted up the hallway. “You’re such an ass Barnes, I ain’t rung the bell at this house for 9 and a half years!”

His best friend’s laugh hit his ears “ I like the sound it makes.”

Steve glanced at his mom, panic flooding his system as he curled his hand around the box.

“I’ll go see them in…buy you some time.” She nodded. As she walked out of the kitchen he heard her greeting Katie as he hastily stashed the ring box in his coat pocket where it was hanging on the chair back

“Oh, err…” he heard his mom stop and Bucky spoke.

“Sorry, Mrs R, this is…”

“I know who he is James, Sam worked with Steve long before you came back from Russia. I just didn’t know he was your Sam.”

“Sure am, Mrs Rogers. Nice to see you again.

At that point Katie walked into the Kitchen, pulling off her hat and her scarf, her cheeks pink from the cold. Steve smiled and opened his arms. “Hey sweetheart, you feeling better?”

She stepped into his embrace, taking the soft kiss he offered “Much, be even better still when I’ve eaten.”

He smiled and looked up at Bucky as Katie stepped back to take off her coat. “Get a suit, jerk?”

Bucky dropped his jacket onto a chair “Yeah and a pair of shiny shoes your girl insists are in fashion.”

Katie rolled her eyes “He looks good in it right Sam?”

“He sure does but…”

“Don’t say it Sam!” Bucky warned, and Steve had a feeling he knew what was coming next. And sure enough…

“He looks better out of it.”

Katie looked at Steve “See what I’ve had to put up with? Had to pretend I didn’t know em.”

“Welcome to the grossed out by another couple club, doll face.” Bucky looked at her and she rolled her eyes as Sarah laughed.

“They can’t still be that bad James.”

“The tales I could tell you about these two from the last week or so alone are NOT suitable for a Mom’s ears Mrs R.”

“Shut up Bucky.” Katie and Steve shot back in synergy.

“And they do that. Talk at the same time, say the same thing…” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s kinda freaky.” Sam nodded in agreement.

“You can shut up too Sam.” Steve looked at him.

“Hey don’t look at me. I do what he does…” he pointed to Bucky “only slower.”

Bucky glanced around, spotted the smashed mug on the tiles and pointed to it “What happened there?”

Steve looked at the mug, recalling the reason why it had smashed and was desperately trying to think of an excuse when his mom came to the rescue.

“Oh, I was making a tea and along came Stevie with his black eye and my mug slipped.”  She looked at Bucky “By the way, James, Steve says you were involved too. Seems like the pair of you are back to being troublesome teenagers again.” She looked at Sam “I’d keep an eye on your boyfriend Sam. He needs to be put in check some times.”

Steve and Katie share a glance at Sarah’s use of the word boyfriend. It was a term Bucky hadn’t actually used when referring to Sam.

“He’s not my, we’re not…” Bucky trailed off as Sam glared at him.

“Well this is awkward.” He mumbled as Sarah narrowed her eyes

“You can’t lie to me James Barnes. You love this young man.”

And just like that Steve found himself smirking at the fact that someone was ripping into Bucky’s and not his relationship for a change

**** Of course Sarah wouldn’t dream of allowing Bucky and Sam to leave without being fed so the 5 of them ate lunch and then before the two men headed off to spend the rest of the afternoon together. As usual, Sarah insisted that Katie and Steve leave her to clear up so they retired to the living room and curled up on the sofa. The fire was on, giving the room a cosy, warm feel and Katie was sitting snuggled up to Steve, curled under a blanket.

After about 10 minutes her attention turned from the TV to his face. Steve could feel her eyes on him and he turned to face her as she sat up and her fingers gently caressed his eye and cheekbone.

“Does it hurt?” she asked him quietly.

“It did, not anymore.” He replied honestly.

“Good, close your eyes.” She instructed. Steve arched an eyebrow at her but did as he was told. She kisses his eyelid and around his bruise tenderly, her breath warm on his skin “Really Stevie” she took  his face in both her hands and tiled it left, then right “ I’m so jealous of your eyelashes”

He laughed and opened his eyes, his hand running up the outside of her arm where it rest over her shoulder.

“Thank you.” She looked at him

“For what, doll?”

“For punching Ward.”

Steve looked at her, shaking his head “Fucking Bucky.”

“That’s Sam’s job” Katie said making him chuckle a little “Don’t be mad at him, I pushed him into telling me.”

“Should have figured you would.” He shrugged.

“Why’s that?”

“Because you can be persistent when you want to be sweetheart.” He smiled gently. “And you’re welcome. I’d do it again in a shot, you have no idea how good it felt.”

“My hero.” She smiled, “Guess not all superheroes wear capes, huh? Mind you, I’m not sure Superman would go around punching Lois Lane’s ex…”

“For the record, Superman does wear a cape, but that aside, even Superheroes have bad days doll.” Steve shrugged.

“You know, that’s a kid’s bedtime story.” She looked at him and he shot her a cheeky grin.

“I can read it to you tonight if you like?”

“How about you read it to me now Captain?” she arched an eyebrow as he looked down at her. Grinning he sat back against the cushions and pat his leg, gesturing with his head.

“Come here Doll.”

Katie moved so she was straddling him, her hands smoothed up his chest to his shoulder and his fell to her hips. Both of them threw a glance to the door of the room, conscious Sarah was in the kitchen, but there was no sign of her, Steve could hear her humming to a song vaguely in the kitchen and knew she would be in there for a while. He leaned up, pressing his lips to Katie’s, his hands moving and splaying on her back, pulling her closer.

Somehow it felt different to him. It was the first kiss they’d shard since he asked Tony and his ma those two important questions and it was almost like there was more to it, even though he never thought that would be possible. It struck him that the decision he had come to about asking her to share the rest of his life with her meant he would never kiss anyone else but her again but he didn’t care he didn’t want to.

He pushed up against her and she let out a soft sigh at the contact and rocked her hips slightly. An involuntary grunt slipped from his lips and the kiss grew frantic, for the moment the pair of them forgetting where they were until they heard a plate clatter in the kitchen. Both paused, their eyes opening as they looked at one another before they let out a soft laugh each, the ridiculousness of the situation not passing them by. Both in their 30s, acting like a pair of teenagers.

“How long has it been since you made out with a girl in here?” Katie teased.

Steve hesitated, in all honesty he had no idea. It had been a long time. “Erm, maybe 20 years, a little less?” he shrugged and Katie frowned.

“What, you mean you and Peggy didn’t…”

Steve shook his head “It wasn’t really something she would have done. She was too…proper I suppose is the word.”

Katie cocked her head to one side as if she was considering something before she shrugged “Her loss.”

“Can we not talk about her doll?” Steve said gently. He really didn’t want to think about anything like that. His hands moves and slid up and down the outside of her thighs and he smiled “It’s you and me now. No Peggy, no Ward…and I intend on keeping it that way till the end of the line.”

Katie smiled and her hands moved up to cup his cheeks, fingers scratching in his beard. “I love you Captain.”

Steve leaned up pressing his lips to hers gently before he pulled back, sliding his nose along hers as he whispered to her softly “Love you too doll.”

[waiting-for-motivation]

cuddling, kissing and making pasta

summary: Because Sams best friends make fun of him and his girlfriend not having sex, (Y/n) pressures herself to sleep with him even though she is asexual. But Sam senses something is wrong and they have a talk. 

request: Omg I’m so happy I found an ace writer cause I’ve been wanting to request ace!reader fics but most people don’t take them. May I request a Sam Wilson x ace!reader where they come out to him after the avengers start teasing him about when the two of them are gonna do it?

pairings: Sam x Reader

warnings: Steve and Bucky are like really primitive, angst but also fluff

words: 1193

a/n: Hope you like it and can identify with the reader :))

MASTERLIST REQUEST RULES

“...and she could do this thing with her legs. You’re not gonna believe me but she was the best I ever had in my bed. Well, and out of it”, Bucky tells his friends with a beer in his metal hand and a heavy drunken accent. Steve and Sam laugh. The girl watching them from afar makes a grimace and pulls her perfect brows together. 

“If that ain’t one of your nasty dreams, Barnes”, Sam jokes and lays a hand on the super soldiers shoulder. They laugh and share some more intimate stories. 

The girl sitting at the bar takes a sip from her whiskey but wont take her eyes from the three men. An uneasiness spreads in her body. She can feel her heart clench and her stomach feels tight. 

“So how is (Y/n), Sam?”, Bucky asks and opens another beer. His friend stares at him as if he asked him if Sam killed Kennedy. Steve and Bucky look at their friend full of expectation. 

“I can’t tell you that, man. That would be disrespectful towards the lady”, Sam says and takes a sip from his beer to cover his uncertainty and lie. In disbelief his friends look at him and laugh the next moment. 

(Y/n) who is the one sitting at the bar and sipping on her glas of whiskey swallows hard. For one moment the girl forgets to breathe. 

“That’s bullshit, Sammy. You have, haven’t you? Please tell me you had sex because you are together for what? 5 months? Half a year?”, Bucky asks and his eyes widen when he sees Sam discomfort. The man can’t even sit still anymore. 

“We take our time, okay?”, Sam says unsure and stares into his bottle, trying to find some safety in there. But he wont find it there. 

Bucky and Steve laugh like two assholes. Maybe it’s the alcohol but they are annoying and offensive today. Sam doesn’t want anything more than to cuddle his girlfriend in bed and maybe kiss her from time to time. Sex isn’t necessary until (Y/n) wants it. 

“A lot of time, man. How can you...”, Bucky starts but gets interrupted by a certain girl stopping right beside the couch where the three are sitting on. “Oh hey (Y/n)”, he greets her as if he didn’t talk about her sex life seconds ago. 

(Y/n) ignores the two men and sets her eyes on her boyfriend. Innocently, Sam looks up at her and tries to suppress his guilt. Then she presents her hand to Sam so that he can take it. Slowly, he does what she expects and stands up. 

“Why don’t we go to bed, baby?”, (Y/n) wiggles her brows and the way she says the per name feels wrong on her tongue. Never had she called Sam that but now that his friends made jokes about their not existent sex life, she has to do this. They have to get intimate now or else Sam is going to leave her. 

Although (Y/n) is asexual and wont find pleasure in sleeping with her boyfriend under pressure. Maybe if they chose to do it without his friend pressuring the two it would work. But not like that. The girl knows that but she also knows that men expect sex in a relationship. And if she can’t give that to Sam then he will soon leave her. 

Confusedly, Sam follows his girlfriend out of the party and into the dark corridors. Soon they arrive at their shared apartment and the moment they are inside he can feel (Y/n) lips on his. He can sense something isn’t right but he can’t put his finger on it. 

Their way leads them to the bedroom and they fall in the bed. When (Y/n) reaches for the first button on Sam shirt, the man can feel something wet touch his cheek - tears. 

Immediately, he pushes her as careful as possible from him, locking eyes with her. (Y/n)s eyes are shine because of the tears. With her shaking hands she tries to remove the tears but it has no use. Sam already saw them and her red eyes are his witness. 

“I’m okay. I promise”, (Y/n) whispers again and again. She places her hands on his chest and tries to remove his shirt but Sam stops her. His hands wrap around her wrists. 

“No, you are not. I can feel that you don’t want to do that, (Y/n). Why would you pressure yourself like that? We have time. We’ll do that when you are ready”, Sam explains and uses one of his hands to caress the girls wet cheek. 

“I’ll never be ready, Sam. That’s the whole problem. I’m....I’m...asexual. I don’t want to have sex”, the girl stammers and leaves the warmth of the bed as well as her lovers. Sam stares at his girlfriend and tries to figure out her words. Slowly, he gets up and walks to her. (Y/n) winces when he takes her hands in his once again. His brown eyes meet hers. The girls lip starts to quiver. 

“It’s okay, (Y/n). Can you ear me? It’s okay if we will never have sex because it doesn’t matter to me. We can share our love in other ways like cuddling or kissing or even making pasta together. I don’t mind that you are asexual because that wont change the fact that I love you”, Sam explains and can tease a small smile out of his girlfriend. 

“Are you sure?”, (Y/n) questions. Sam nods enthusiastic and the next moment the girl wraps her arms around his neck and jumps into his strong arms. They stay like this for a really long time, until they get sleepy and head to bed. The two of them even forget to change their clothes but that doesn’t matter. 

The next morning Sam and (Y/n) wake up late and as they look into the mirror, both of them have to laugh. The problems of the last night are long forgotten. (Y/n) still has her make up on but right now she looks more like a panda. Sam helps his girlfriend get ready for breakfast. 

Arriving in the kitchen almost every team member of the Avengers is sitting at the table. They look up from their food ans grin at the couple. 

“Steamy night, Wilson?”, Bucky asks and whistles. Some of the heroes laugh, mostly the men. Sam stares angrily at his friend and can’t control his temper anymore. He has to protect (Y/n) from these silly and really primitive jokes. 

“Shut up, Barnes. No, even though it’s none of your business we had no sex to answer your stupid question. Because sex isn’t what makes a relationship, love is. And if you haven’t realized yet, you can show love without putting your dick somewhere”, the Falcon screams, takes (Y/n)s hand and leaves the room. His girlfriend is taken by surprise but follows him. His behavior towards his friends was a little bit harsh but shows the girl that Sam is the right one. He accepts her no matter what sexuality. 

“Ignore those idiots, darling. We’re going to have breakfast in the cute cafe in Brooklyn.” 

[graphicabyss]

Avalanche and the Fallout

So, last time I commented on Tegoshi’s tell-all book and now it’s released and the damage is done. Such an appropriate name seeing as avalanches are sudden and destroy everything in their path. As I read the book and the related news, I struggled with both the need to convey how I felt and stop giving him so much time and attention. Sure enough, I ended up with a long review/analysis/bitching post. It's rough and mean and very long so please read at your own risk.

Facts first. The book released on Aug 5 was originally supposed to run 10,000 copies but they reportedly increased it to 50,000 due to high demand. Tegoshi also held a press-conference to talk about it on release day. It ended up being one of the best-selling books on Amazon and top seller in Entertainment.

It’s hard to talk about the book briefly. It’s 270 pages long and I had absolutely no intention to read it all but still ended up reading a good deal and words just kept pouring out of me. I could not imagine how much this book would fuck me up. I knew it would be bad but honestly I was shocked about the publication because it’s both incredibly cruel to so many people and incredibly stupid as it’s going to severely damage his reputation and future career.

I won’t even try to pretend to be objective because there’s nothing objective about the book itself. It’s a book of unsolicited opinions. If there’s one word I’d to describe it it’s ‘delusional’. Every chapter reeks of vanity and a sense of superiority as he judges every single celebrity he came in contact with and gives plenty of advice. It's a mess of careless words hastily and haphazardly thrown together in an attempt to let the world know the Real Tegoshi.

Of course, that's not how he sees it. He mentions the likes of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates saying their books give people motivation and inspiration and he wanted to do the same. Bitch, you haven't done anything to get you on that level yet.

There’s a video on his channel where he goes to the publisher to talk about the book and while he says about sending an inspirational message, the publisher only wants him to talk about Yukirin and other juicy gossip. And it’s not like poor Tegoshi was tricked into it, he readily agreed to it and he knew full well what he was doing. The book’s cover does not advertise life advice, it advertises celebrity gossip. Also nudes, which by the way, turned out to be mere topless shots. Add false advertising to the list of offenses. He really gave Bunsun a run for their money discussing half his scandals and even adding some extra. He keeps saying he only wants to clear up the rumours but somehow ends up saying things that make absolutely no difference or even make him look worse. It's like if Bunshun said "Tegoshi was partying with 5 younger women, ran around naked and then passed out drunk" and Tegoshi would be like "That's not true! There were 4 women!"

He also said he absolutely could not hide how he truly felt. And that seems to make sense except it’s one thing to just be honest and reveal some of your relevant thoughts in a carefully worded manner. But this is another thing entirely. It’s some kind of emotional exhibitionism, a compulsory desire to share his every thought and opinion on everything and everyone. Dear, there is middle ground between hiding how you really feel and giving your every single opinion. That doesn't make you honest. It makes you an asshole.

The book is divided into small chapters and most are about NEWS, past and present members and related topics, as well as most other JE artists. Some chapters are about the women he had or did not have relations with. Some are about the people he admires and his delusional plans for the future. Only a small number of chapters do not mention any names and talk about his personal experiences and thoughts.

At this point, I do not even have all the scans but I have more than enough to go off the parts I read. First off, I am now allergic to the word ‘positive’ and the phrase ‘as a man’. What the fuck does that even mean? Also, a lot of the stuff he says in the book is not new in any way and was either said before or known through other sources or rumours. There are hardly any shocking revelations anywhere, at least if you were following him as closely as I have. But hearing all these terrible opinions at once is sure a treat.

Actually, he himself described it as whining and that seems accurate because he does that for a good portion of the book, explaining how unfairly he (and other people) was treated by the industry and the press. There are many stories of hardship and resilience. There’s the good old "I suffered so much when I wasn’t the center of attention for the first time in my life”. There’s the classic “The media spreads lies about me” and other familiar narratives. Also a few tragic stories of unfulfilled love.

And not all of it is horrible. In fact, there are a few parts that I could relate to, such as the terrible way Koyama had been treated when he had to resign from ‘every’, the strange limitations for idols and how excessively strict the rules of Japanese showbiz are. But by telling those stories and complaining about JE and Japan’s entertainment industry, he is not going to make a change. All he accomplished is make things harder for himself. Bringing up the names of many artists, especially those he doesn’t even know personally, and discussing their problems is incredibly rude, intrusive and potentially damaging. Yes, the rules of Japanese entertainment suck but see how much you can achieve going against them.

And I don't like JE and not going to defend it but bitching about JE in particular is unwise for two reasons: One - not only does he owe everything to it, NEWS is still in it and what’s bad for JE is bad for NEWS. Two - JE is very powerful and has immense influence in the industry so making them your enemy when your career barely started may lead to it ending prematurely. In the end, Tegoshi Yuya’s biggest obstacle to fame isn’t JE or media. It’s Tegoshi Yuya.

It is not an autobiography book so it doesn't start with childhood. Which is a pity because I was hoping to get a glimpse of how we got to this point. There are a few clues though. 

I can tell.

Perhaps the most important chapters are those connected to his leaving the band, his reasons and motivations and that shit made me livid. He basically says that one day he imagined how awesome his solo career would be and decided he was too good to be in NEWS and the world will fall at his feet at soon as he lets it. He literally says that when he had to stay home because of the Covid-19 pandemic, he realized that God sent him a sign saying “Quickly, leave the agency!”. The pandemic is serendipity. Fuck me.

I honestly expected that the part about NEWS members at least would be nothing but praise but it also left me with very mixed feelings. First, there's a chapter "What I Told the NEWS Members" and it sounds so solemn and inspirational like "Are you sure you didn't copy that from some drama or anime? Because people do not talk like that, especially after being hit with such news." I'd love to hear their side of the story. There's also a chapter calling the members his comrades and expressing his eternal gratitude. But it's pretty clear that's not really for the members, it's to appease the fans.

There are several more chapters about the members specifically. Tegoshi has to be perfectly honest so there’s evaluation of every member, as he positions himself as the best performer by default and tells some stories that he apparently seems to think necessary to share.

For instance, there’s his story of choosing to stay in NEWS in 2011 as he told Koyashige they were miles behind Tegomass and needed to improve their singing and dancing to not drag the band down. Wait, since when can Tegoshi dance? Also the time Massu could not get a certain song right and got unresponsive as Tegoshi kept poking his mistake, so Tegoshi went berserk and thrashed Massu's things.

There is also a whole chapter about Shige and it's so weird as a former biggest Tegoshige shipper. Before I'd be happy for all the praise. Sadly, at this point if Tegoshi praises you too much it's almost a little suspicious. The whole thing is basically Tegoshi deciding that Shige is his top choice as... a man? deciding he makes the best leader and entrusting him the band. "Take care of my NEWS, Kato!" he says at the end. Fuck this shit!

Also, whatever happened to “Shige-chan?” He has made no effort to spend time with Shige out of work. And you know, they used to hang out and go on trips together when they were younger but not in recent years as Tegoshi got 'cooler' friends. I mean, his and Shige's friends probably have a 20+ difference in IQ level but still... He also only read a few of his books and unlike Massu, he does read. Mostly shitty 'how to succeed' types. All of that speaks of remarkable disinterest in Shige's actual life and thoughts.

There are several more chapters regarding NEWS as a band and what he thinks they should do and it makes me furious just talking about it. You lost any right to decide the band's future when you left them high and dry, asshole. He also claims he loves NEWS so so much and even wears the tour T-shirts (impressive!) and sings their songs in karaoke and cries! (poor thing!) On top of that he can't wait to see the STORY tour and go to see it and also broadcast it on his Youtube and do a review.......... I can't with this shit. Let's move on.

He also analyzed former members, basically calling Ryo spineless and saying he and Pi should have left sooner if they had no interest being in the band. And that’s coming from someone who tried to leave what? 4 times at least? Yes. It turns out he wanted to leave the band in 2017, in addition to 2011 and 2013. The way I see it now, 4nin NEWS was a hostage situation where Tegoshi constantly threatened to leave and other members trying to keep him happy and make him stay. He knew he was important and he got away with all kind of shit, both within the band and the agency.

In a similar manner, he takes each JE group and artist and evaluates them - what's good about it and what’s not, who’s popular and capable, what the group needs to do and so on. It’s amazingly condescending. There’s even a whole part about wanting to unite NEWS and KAT-TUN. What the fuck? Who asked you? Go film your ugly wardrobe or something.

I bet Tegoshi is so obsessed with popularity and rankings that he sees numbers over every person's and groups’ heads. Not everything in the world can be ranked and measured in numbers. He also says there are many celebrities who fucked up and acted like divas but are still popular. Way to go! Except it seems you have mistaken the order. You should succeed first, then be a dick. Also bitch, you're not Lady Gaga.

One of the biggest reasons for the anger of fans, at least the Western ones, was the way he talked about the mental issues of the former King & Prince member Iwahashi Genki and SEXY ZONE member Matsushima Sou both of whom had to step back from the industry because of their panic attacks. Even though he intended to encourage them, he expressed a fundamental misunderstanding of how panic attacks work suggesting they just had to cheer up and stay positive.

There's a whole section where he talks about a dozen female celebrities, mostly idols and actresses, dedicating a whole chapter to each. Of course, only to ‘set the record straight’. Because that’s exactly how the rumours work, you know. Particularly old ones. You tell the whole story and they go away. It's disgusting. Female artists' whole careers depend on their pure image and being associated with him can easily end it.

He also speaks of the first three girls he dated, which all sound like huge and tragic love stories as he said he loved them so much he considered marrying them but they all actually happened when he was about 16 to 20 years and after turning 20 he hasn't had a single woman that he loved that much.

And then some parts are only about himself and they are things that one should really, really keep to oneself. Nobody needs to know you drink so hard you can’t get it up. The chapter's called "I have no interest in sex" but it should really be called "I have a drinking problem". I couldn’t help but remember the scandalous article that came out in 2017 where one of his 'girl friends' sold the story of their relationship with all unsightly intimate details. I chose to defend him at the time but now I’m not even sure I can blame her. Perhaps it should be viewed as whistle-blower insider info as she warned others of what they may expect. The chapter "I have easily over a 1000 female friends" says he has this many girl contacts all over Japan and overseas but they aren't what you think they are. He only had 10 girls who he considered girlfriends, those he met 1 on 1 with. I guess the rest he just fucked so that doesn't count. Now that I think about it, I feel like 99% of all the Bunshun articles were mostly accurate.

Speaking of which... There's also a chapter where he explains why he cried during Neverland tour and he explains it by the photo with the two cons from 2011. We all know that was just a small part of it and the far bigger reason was people exposing his private messages and leaking intimate photos and stories. So much for the whole truth. Also, he whines about his reputation being hurt by the photo but has a whole chapter praising the man called Horiemon who was imprisoned for securities fraud.

There's another major revelation that shows his character. He mentions several cases where he had hissy fits in the dressing rooms, actually throwing chairs and things. Of course, for important reasons - being frustrated and angry at terrible injustices. Such as Koyama being fired from ‘every’ or him losing some parts in ChumChum after his scandal. Also the fight with Massu back in 2010 when he threw Massu’s things on the floor... It’s horrible as it is but for Massu, knowing he freaks out if you so much as breathe on his things... What a bitch.

There are also some chapters about his delusions of becoming a worldwide phenomenon but he doesn't seem to have a real plan how to achieve it. There are his ideas that are all over the place. There's the bold "Creating a new mold of entertainment" so that's producing. There's Youtube stuff. There's creating a "Tegoshi village" with ex-TOKIO Yamaguchi. He just had to pick the most problematic of his senpai. And there's an actual chapter called "Expanding to China and US Simultaneously”? Also English lessons? That all sounds very impressive, hon, but all you did so far was piggybacking on other people's fame and work. His book sold largely due to scandals and other people's names. He had a solo concert with just his NEWS solos and cover versions. And he just released a video that is an exact replica of his ItteQ segment.

One question is: how is he so confident he'll succeed fast? Well, apart form the usual delusions of grandeur. One reason for his excessive confidence is having friends in high places. At one point he's casually namedropping Abe Shinzo and the First Lady who was supposedly expected to come to the Story tour. Tegoshi said he would invite both of them to his solo concert. Yeah, I'm sure they'll come, nothing controversial about that.

I can’t imagine how it’s going to go from here but I don’t know how anyone would still want to work with him. He fucked over people he worked with for 18 years, people he claims to love, in a heartbeat so what can a new partner expect?

--------------------------------------------------

As expected by literally everyone but Tegoshi, the book made an uproar and not in a good way, with fans and agencies enraged over his words about the artists. There were many articles calling this book 'exposé book', especially focusing on him using the real names of female celebrities. Some newspapers followed up with petty articles. My favourite is an article from Tokyo Sports that specifically dug up a story that was not in the book about the way he adamantly pursued a certain female idol trying to conquer her and culminating in doing a dogeza in front of her but she still rejected him saying "Zettai yada! I will be your girlfriend number what?". Her name is not revealed, which is unfortunate, I'd like to know who that queen is.

Not all feedback was bad, of course. According to this article, many men brought it and enjoyed it. I'm sure they did. Plenty of aspirational douchebags out there. Anyway. Many fans wrote to him long angry and very detailed letters. His social media accounts have been losing followers for the past several weeks.

Perhaps the strangest thing is that he seemed genuinely surprised that instead of praise for his courage and honesty he got anger and disapproval. It wouldn't happen if he got his head out of his ass and literally asked a single one of the people he wrote about what they thought of it. 

The feedback must have been very focused as the very next day he wrote a few posts on his Twitter and Instagram indicating his concern over the feedback. On Twitter, he used the word “yacchimatta ka” as in “I messed up, didn’t I?” though stylistically I read it as “whoopsie”. Then there were two Insta stories.

2020/08/06 Ah, I'm a little tired. I'm also human. (sometimes I whine)

2020/08/06 I don't bother with those who criticize me in whatever they do. But I can't stand to see my fans, whom I treasure like my life, leave. I'm sorry. From now on, I won't whine anymore.

"I whine sometimes?" Really? that's what you call a 272 pages tell-all book? Also "I won't whine anymore"?? You think pulling off shit like that and then saying "whoopsie" is enough? It got quiet for a few days and on Aug 10 there was the apology video, which was named "This is my first and last whining". Doubt it. He uses the word ‘弱音’ which has a somewhat vague meaning, using it in an apology video in that context is confusing. Why not call apology as it is? That seems like another politician’s technique.

The apology was impressive in a way. At least it was not a blanket apology, he (or his employees) correctly identified what exactly people were mad about. He said he was really sorry for hurting his fans and causing trouble to people he wrote about. He said he understood that he doesn't have to reveal everything. He also said that he felt the love behind the anger, that fans wrote to him because they cared and were disappointed. Also said he realized that he was protected till now. It was all pretty good right until the very end when he gave a loud 'TEI!' effectively ruining the effect.

Of course, it was good that he did that but I still don't think it even began to make up for all the shit he wrote. The apology would be an adequate step after a shitty Tweet, not a fucking book. Also, I feel like more than anything he just got scared of losing his fans, maybe even sorry for hurting their feelings but not really sorry for what he did. He has no plans to change his behaviour. He wants to be at his 100% assholeness and still be adored.

Of course thousands of merciful women turned to his defence because he looked 'so sad' and even 'thinner'. That's right! He's the real victim here. Must be terrible to hear such hard criticism for the things you actually said and did.

By now I'm barely even angry anymore and a part of me feels sorry for Tegoshi. He's like a dumb spoiled child who wreaks havoc. But I have to remind myself I should not feel sorry. He is in fact an adult man of 32 who is so used he always gets his way that even a minor opposition is viewed by him as a violation of his freedom. And his charm is the very reason he always got away with all the shit he did in life up to this point. I bet he is getting a lot of hate mail and I hope his positivity prepared him for it. I remember him calling Koyama in the middle of the night to come and comfort him while he cried. Also calling Shige to come only to fall asleep in his lap. Now he's on his own. God, right now I just really wish Tegoshi would send himself to the corner and thought about what he's done. Just step aside and shut up for 5 minutes.

But he isn't gonna do it. Of course not. He had a solo concert today and is doing Youtube videos and moving even faster so that people forget about the book.

But fans never will. I can't even say if the book changed my perception or just unveiled what I knew was there all along. For years I've been discarding and questioning all the bad rumours and stories telling myself "He didn't mean it" or "That can't be true" but now it all comes together like pieces of a puzzle, and there's no need to guess anymore because he's shouting "Oh yes I fucking did and I'll do it again!"

All in all, the book paints a picture of a man who is anything but Prince Charming. It chips away any remaining illusions of a 'perfect idol' showing someone who is vain, petty, and chauvinistic. Someone who is obsessed with status and popularity so much that he is willing to sacrifice everything for it and thinks it doesn't matter how bad your reputation is as long as you succeed. Someone who is the very epitome of toxic masculinity, drinks himself to oblivion and treats women like toys. And yet, somehow, I still find myself having to fight the strong urge deep inside of me that makes me want to like him.