#the other edit was uhm maybe two three weeks old

[pzyii]

Black Hair by Alex G

[theje0ngs]

JSC | “twenties”

summary :: twenties are the best years of someone’s life.

pairing :: sungchan x reader

genre :: angst, slight romance, smut

word count :: 2.9k

warnings :: profanity, age difference (3 years), oral (f receiving), fingering, overstimulation (f receiving), protected sex (reader is on the pill !), face sitting, slight dom!sungchan, kind of toxic relationship

gela says :: well, i tried my best anon! i hope this went up to your expectations. it’s my first time writing a scenario this long and IT’S SMUT. ngl, i was pretty much surprised by how far i got lol also, if there are any offensive or wrong parts, please let me know! i’ll immediately edit them or delete the part. thank you and enjoy!

they say, your twenties are the most memorable decade of your life. you will experience a lot in your twenties such as heartbreak, finishing university, start working, and finding yourself.

you love your work as an infirmary nurse in a private university. it offers much more salary than your first job as a nurse in the local hospital. sometimes, when a professor from the college of nursing couldn't attend one of his classes, he'd let you sub in. it was fun and a nice experience. every time you sub in a class, you're always thinking about taking your master's to be able to teach. nursing students refer to you as the 'fun sub-prof' even though all you do is watch them do their work and collect at the end of the class.

“maybe they call you fun sub-prof because of your age? i mean, the majority of the class you're 'teaching' are twenty year olds! and what, you're twenty three. you can relate to them.” said your best friend since nursing school. you were video calling her since there wasn't much work to do as of the moment.

“i don't know, maybe. but right now, i'm having fun teaching them. it helps me remember all the things we've been studying in nursing school back then. i'm even thinking of taking up a master's, what do you think?”

“a master's? you really want to teach college students?”

“why not just, you know? make a career as a professor at the college of nursing?”

“seriously, how bad do you want to do it?” she chuckles, “y/n, i've told you this before and i'm telling it to you again. don't make decisions when you're happy, don't rush yourself into something so big. have you talked to your parents about this?”

“you're right, jess. i'll think of it again,” you say. the wind chime attached on top of the door rings, followed by a bunch of students quarrelling. “i have to go, i have a patient. take care!”

after exchanging goodbyes to your best friend, you ended the call and shoved your phone back to your pockets. you saw the soccer team, probably four to five players surrounded on one of the beds as the other one whines in pain.

“okay, can someone explain to me what happened?” you ask, the other two boys who stood next to the bed got out of your way and let you examine the patient.

“he slipped during practice. we thought it was only a cramp, but it looks so much worse than that.” answered one of the players, “will he be ok?”

“i don't have any definite answer right now, because i haven't examined him yet.” you replied, “but from what it looks like, he won't be able to play for a few weeks.”

“what? i have a big game coming next week!” he freaked out, “god! out of all people, out of all these dickheads, why me!”

“sungchan, calm down.”

“shut the fuck up, jeno! how the fuck am i supposed to calm down in this situation? fuck, coach is gonna kill me.” he sighs.

you weren't a nurse just to help people cure injuries and illnesses, but you were good at handling situations like this. makes you wonder why you didn't want to work at a hospital and stuck with working as a university nurse.

“alright, uhm, players, if it's okay with you.. go ahead and return to your practice. i'm sure your coach wouldn't like it if you stayed here for so long. i'll handle him” you say, heading to the door and opening it for them.

“are you sure though? he's a handful.” said the boy jeno.

“mhmm, i can handle patients like him. go ahead.”

and the moment they left, all you could hear was the sound of the air-conditioner's soft noises as you walked back to your table to grab the first aid kit. you were good at handling ankle fractures, especially during ball game seasons at the university. the amount of injured players who came into your office was insane!

“um, sorry for yelling earlier. i- uh, didn't like the fact that i won't be able to play this season.” he apologizes.

“it's alright, i understand why you reacted like that. you're a star player, right?” you say, reaching a pillow from another bed to put it behind his head.

“how did you know that?” he asks, causing you to chuckle.

“i work here. i've been here for two years now.”

“hold on, you really work here? you're not some… intern?”

you raised an eyebrow, was that supposed to be a compliment or what? “what made you think i'm only an intern?”

“you look like you're only a student. aren't you twenty years old?”

you chuckle, “i'm twenty three. but thanks for thinking i'm years younger than my real age.”

you leave his side and return back to your table, filling up some form for sungchan to give to his coach later as well as some paperworks in case he wants to be sent to the hospital. you were working peacefully, while sungchan was still processing the information you told him. i really thought she's only my age… turns out she's three years older than me. he thought.

and since sungchan really couldn't play for a few weeks, he had to watch his teammates from the bench. though a lot of people thought they'd lose this season, his team was doing a bit good without him. even his coach who thought the team wouldn't do well, was shocked that the whole team could work better even without the star player. (it would've been so much better if sungchan was playing.)

sometimes when his friends are out in practice, he spends his time at the infirmary. though you have told him that he’s doing fine and he has to continue wearing a cast in order for his ankle to heal, he prefers to stay inside and entertain you. he’d ask basic questions about you, like where you finished your bachelor’s degree, what are your plans for the future etc. you didn’t feel any awkwardness, he managed to make you feel comfortable around him. he’d even bring a cup of coffee and some pastries to your office.

“oh god, now that you’ve asked me about my ex boyfriend - there’s this guy i dated in university, he-”

“do you want to go out with me sometime?” he blurts out, causing you to stop chewing the croissant he brought earlier. “i- um, sorry. continue.”

“wait, what… why do you want to ask me out?” you ask

“i don’t know… i, i like you okay? why do you think i’m always here even though my ankle is already healed?”

sungchan likes you. yes, you’ve heard that right. you weren’t dreaming or what, this guy - who is 3 years younger than you, likes you. you didn’t know what to feel. because you were a twenty-four year old woman, who works as the university nurse. you’ve never had someone confess to you, and most certainly, you weren’t expecting it to be someone like sungchan. sungchan, so far, the past few weeks you’ve spent with him… you know there’s someone who deserves him better than you.

“sungchan, i get that you, um, like me. but, i’m sorry.” you apologize, “dating isn’t really part of my plate right now.”

“is it because i’m younger than you?”

“no! god no!” you sighed, “it’s just… i really don’t want to risk losing my job.”

“well, if i show you that i’m sincere enough, will you accept my feelings?” he asks, gently grabbing your hand and started caressing his thumb on your supple skin.

you sigh, well, nothing bad will happen… right? you thought, “alright.”

you’ve been secretly dating sungchan for over 10 months now. though only you, him and a few of his friends like jeno, shotaro and donghyuck were the only ones who knew what’s between the two of you, you managed to make this relationship work. you wouldn’t deny the fact that it kind of hurts that you can’t tell the world about him, you can’t tell your friends about him, you can’t tell your coworkers about your relationship with him as there is a possibility that you may lose your job. while sungchan, is also having a hard time. you’ve been so distant lately, and he thinks it’s stress. fights were also present in your relationship. in fact, it happens most of the time.

the very first, big fight you two encountered happened during the university’s festival. you were set up in a ‘marriage booth’ with one of the professors at the engineering department. sungchan was watching from afar. he hated the fact that he couldn’t tell the world about you, about your relationship. all he wanted was to hold your hand in public, to be able to kiss you, to bring you out on cute dates.

aside from keeping your relationship a secret to everybody, you still have one, big secret. you were offered a job at your auntie’s workplace. the problem is, it’s abroad. you’ve considered rejecting it, you didn’t want to leave sungchan nor did you want a long distance relationship. when the day arrived that you promised yourself that you were going to reject your aunt’s offer, happens to be the day that you and sungchan fought. you ended up accepting the offer.

“never make decisions when you’re happy, never make decisions when you’re angry.” something your best friend always told you back in college.

your scheduled flight abroad will be next week, and you still haven’t told sungchan. you were scared, but no matter how much you deny reality, you will eventually tell him the truth. you were woken up from your thoughts when you heard the doorbell rang. you’ve decided to tell him today. if he wants to break up, then it’s alright. it’s your fault for not telling him earlier. if he wants to try long distance, then it’s also fine. most of those work… right?

“hey, you sounded too upset on the phone. are you okay?” he asks, his soft voice sent shivers on your spine.

“i have to tell you something. it’s pretty big and, um, can cause problems in our relationship.”

“you’re making me nervous, what is it?”

you can do this, y/n. deep breaths and everything will be alright. you say to yourself, “remember when we had our big fight two months ago? the one where you got jealous of jaehyun?” you start, earning a scoff from him. “well, after our fight, i was pretty mad at you. so bad that i.. accepted a job abroad.”

it was like the whole world stopped for a moment. sungchan did not know what to feel. should he feel angry? sad? happy? his emotions were mixing up as he tried to process everything you just said. it was all happening so fast.

“you accepted a job without consulting me first?” he said, trying to remain calm.

“sungchan, it’s my dream job! it’s something that i’ve always wanted to do!”

“i know! but shouldn’t you have consulted me first about it? why make a decision this big without talking to me about it?” he yells, “i thought you were different! we promised to tell each other everything!”

“well, i’m sorry! i’m not most girls and frankly, this is why i didn’t want to date someone younger than me!” you fought back, “i’m an adult, sungchan. and so are you. we should be able to act mature when it comes to relationships. this isn’t high school, or bullshit, we’re not in a teenage movie! stop acting like a fucking child!”

“it’s just so selfish y/n! you’re selfish! you only think about yourself, you make decisions only for yourself! what the fuck am i to you then?”

mean words and a lot of profanity were thrown at each other that night. like said earlier, everything was happening at a fast pace. one minute you’re yelling at each other, the next you’re in your bed, naked and putting purple love bites on each other’s bodies. sungchan is only three years younger than you, but his sexual drive is insane. you took note of that the moment sex was present in your relationship.

“bad girl. so fucking bad.” he growls, latching his lips on your nipple. “no one, and i mean no one will fuck you the way i do when you leave for abroad.”

sungchan sat up and started to unbuckle his belt and pants, the tent that was growing behind his boxer shorts were visible. the moment his last piece of clothes were off and he was fully naked, he started to undress you as well. instead of removing your clothes, he tore them from your body. those were my favorite pair of pajamas. you thought, but it did not matter anymore. you were rather impatient, sitting up and pulling sungchan from the nape and attaching his lips to yours.

your kiss had a lot of meaning. love. lust. apology. while you were making wonders on his lips, sungchan focused on making you feel good using his fingers. you can feel yourself wetter and wetter the more he puts pressure on your clit. you moaned into his mouth when you felt his fingers slowly enter your sweet hole, “fuck, sungchan.” was all you could say the moment his lips left yours.

in your previous intercourses, sungchan was sweet and slow. all he focused on was your own pleasure and not his. he makes sure he’s making you feel good. he makes sure you feel every inch of him. but today wasn’t one of those days. sungchan was too rough tonight and you know once you wake up in the morning, you’re all sore.

sungchan adjusted himself on the bed, he was lying down with pillows supporting his head. he positioned you on his stomach, both of your legs were on the side of his waist and feeling your wet pussy on his skin. “sit on my face.” he commands, “now.”

you did what he said. holding onto the headboard as if your life depends on it. his hands immediately go to the back of your thighs the moment you kneel and position yourself on top of his face. you let out a loud moan when you felt him suck the sensitive bud. he made sure he’s holding on your thighs tightly that you’re not able to move. the mixture of his saliva and your wetness, and the way his mouth was making erotic sounds made you closer to your orgasm.

“sungchan,” you murmur

he lets go of your thighs, letting you fall on the soft bed. you were still shivering from the orgasm you just had, but your boyfriend has other plans. make this night memorable and he might make you change your mind at the last minute. your eyes were closed, still gathering strength and air when you felt him spread your legs.

“hold on, let me catch my-” before you could even finish your sentence, sungchan rubs the tip of his cock on your slit. the sensation makes you feel wet once again. “fuck.”

sungchan’s lips made contact with your skin, biting and placing soft yet lustful kisses on them before slipping his dick inside of you. his low grunts sent shivers down your spine. fuck, he’s right. nobody else has made you feel this good before, not even your ex boyfriend or the people you’ve been with for only one night. sungchan was different from everybody else.

your moans were music to his ears; he considers them as a compliment while he makes you feel good. “‘m gonna fuck you so good you’re not gonna leave for that fucking job.” he whispered to your ears before nibbling.

the more he thrusts inside of you, the more you feel the knot in your stomach tighter. your fingers were gripping tightly on your sheets. “i’m cumming!” you cried, your body started to feel sensitive.

“cum then.” he replied, “cum with me.”

with one last, loud moan, the two of you reached your highs. you feel so weak the moment he pulls out, you feel so sore and you were tired. with sungchan on your side, spooning you, you didn’t even realize that you drifted off to dreamland. the following day, you were woken up by the rays of the sun shining through the curtain. you could still feel sungchan’s arms resting on your waist. you stood up, removing his grasp on you and grabbed a clean shirt before heading off to the bathroom to clean yourself.

the memories of last night came flooding back. all the fighting, the yelling, the blaming. it was no longer healthy to continue, especially if your partner thinks you’re too selfish. well, you were selfish. you hid a huge secret from him and dropped the bomb a week before you leave. you understood the points he made last night - he was right. everything must come to an end, and so does your relationship with him.

that morning ended with the two of you, sitting down in your living room. apologizing for all the mean things you’ve said to each other out of anger last night. you apologized to him for not being a great girlfriend he wanted, he apologized for not being able to tell the world about you. though it was only a short amount of time that you and sungchan dated, he’s thankful that you’re part of his twenties. his first real girlfriend, his first real heartbreak.

COPYRIGHT © THEJE0NGS. 2021. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE.

[officialwittek]

pt. 2

*gif is not mine* 

word count: 1,987 

“SAGE” a voice yells, my eyes shoot open and I fall out of the bed, David laughs loudly holding his vlog camera

“Fuck you” I groan, standing up I notice I was changed and all my makeup was taken off

“Wow I was so productive even while drunk, I even took my makeup off bitches” I say, collecting my things off the floor and plugging my phone into the charger

“Nah, it was Jeff. You passed out after taking shots with Zane and Ilya. So he carried you into Natalie’s room and took care of you before he left” David explained, tucking his camera under his arm

“Oh nice, where’s Natalie?” I ask, putting on some shorts and walking to the kitchen with David

“She went to get coffee for everyone” He says, I laugh quietly seeing all of our friends passed out on the floor or the couch

“I guess I’ll make breakfast. Then I’ll help clean after we eat” I say, David nods and follows me to the kitchen

I grab some eggs, bacon, and pancake mix and start making breakfast for everyone. I notice Jeff and Todd aren’t here and assume they went to work out so I make extra food just in case they come by after. I shoot Jeff a text and ask him but I just get left on read. Weird. I pout a little and David suddenly takes my phone.

“Why did Jeff leave you on read?” He asks, I shrug and David takes out his own phone and texts him and of course gets an immediate response

“Interesting, whatever. I ain’t tripping ‘bout no hoe” I say, spooning the scrambled eggs into a big bowl

After I finished making breakfast, Natalie walks in with the coffee, Todd helping her carry everything. Our friends wake up one by one and join us in the kitchen

“Sage, baby marry me” Zane says, I laugh and take everyones empty plates and put them in the dishwasher

“Baby.. you couldn’t pay me enough money” I reply, our group laughing even harder

I wash the dishes while Matt helps me put them away. He also offers to help me clean the rest of the house. I take the soiled couch blankets and throw them in the wash while Matt takes the trash out. I grab the empty beer cans, solo cups, and hard liquor bottles and take them to the recycling and trash. After about an hour we had David’s house looking as nice as possible. I say bye to David and Natalie before Matt and I head our separate ways for the afternoon.

I finally get home and take a shower. Cleaning David’s house had me in the mood to be productive and Carly was probably with Erin I open our curtains and play some music over the speakers. Quietly singing to myself I take my laundry and start separating the loads before throwing the first one in. I walk to the kitchen and start cleaning out our fridge. Expired foods, old take out, nasty old fruits and veggies. After that I compile a grocery list and send a quick text to Carly to see if she needs anything, she sends me a handful of items and tells me to let her know how much she should PayPal me. I wash the dishes and put everything in their respected cabinets. After a few hours of cleaning and washing laundry, I get dressed to run errands.

I choose some brown patchwork jeans, a white tank top, a chocolate brown oversized zip up jacket with my white Air Force ones. I throw my hair in a ponytail and text Jeff.

Sage: Hi bub, ik you left me on read, but do you want to run errands with me?

Jeff: nah i’m good.

I sigh in annoyance and shove my phone in my purse. I grab my keys and walk down to the parking lot. I get a text from Corinna and Natalie asking if they can tag along with me since they’re bored and I agree, the three of us meeting at David’s house. After they pile into my Honda Civic and we go to the grocery store.

“So.. what’s got you all annoyed?” Corinna asks, I realize my eyebrows have been furrowed the whole time

“Jeff keeps leaving me on read or he’s being dry. Even at breakfast he didn’t even acknowledge me. I mean what the fuck. I would never ever do that to him. The fuck is his problem” I whine, grabbing a carton of oat milk

“Well you did kiss him last night and you haven’t said anything” Nat points out, my eyes widen and my jaws go slack, the two girls giggle at my expression  

“I k-kissed him? I mean shit go me, but now I feel like an asshole” I ask, turning to them and I sigh

“I’m never drinking again” I reply, making them laugh. After a bit more shopping we all go to pay for our stuff.

We stop by my apartment and they help me put the groceries away. We all go back to Dave’s house and hang out for a bit. I start editing some pictures I took for my instagram. While editing Todd, Jeff, Zane, Carly, and Erin walk in. They all come up to me and give me a hug, well except a certain someone. I’ll admit I feel like an asshole about not saying anything but I didn’t know it pissed him off that much. I text and ask if we can talk in the studio and he leaves me on read right in front of my eyes.

I roll my eyes and just sit at the kitchen island alone. Mindlessly scrolling through my phone as I hear some people approaching me. I turn and see Mariah, Carly, and Erin. They immediately knew something was up, my eyebrows were furrowed so we walk outside to my car.

“It’s fucking Jeff. So Nat and Corinna told me what happened last night and I obviously felt bad. So I texted Jeff about five minutes and asked him if we could talk in the podcast studio for a bit and he left me on read. He probably hates me now. He’s been ignoring me all day” I cry, Mariah rubs my shoulder to help console me

“I’m not going out with you guys tonight. I think I’m just going to stay home” I say, the three of them nod

“Well then all the girls are coming over tonight. I hate seeing princess peach being sad” Mariah says, princess peach is her nickname for me since I love anything to do with peaches and everyone treats me like a princess since I’m the youngest member

“Finee, bring wine and I’ll make pasta” I say, finally letting a small smile appear as we head back to the house

“Where the fuck did you guys go?” Heath asks, wrapping his arms around Mariah as I pretend to throw up

“We went to make out real quick” I retort, walking over to collect my things

“Nat, Corinna let’s go babes” I call, they excitedly grab their things and we hop in Nat’s Mercedes

“Oh c’mon guys” Todd says, but Carly promptly stops the rest from coming

“No we’re having a girl’s night. Sage isn’t feeling well, no boys allowed. Especially Jeff” she says, mumbling the last part so only the girls could hear and we let out giggles

“Fuck men” I yell, closing Nat’s door as we head to my place with Carly

Nat drops us off while her, Mariah, and Corinna get some alcohol. I grab the ingredients from the pantry and fridge. I decide to make a simple pasta with garlic, cherry tomatoes and basil. While I was cooking the other girls come back and we all gather in the kitchen. Talking about everything and anything, Nat starts snapping pictures on a disposable camera. After a few minutes the food was ready and we all gathered in our living room to watch some movies. After some bickering we all decide on Always Be My Maybe.

“T-that was so good” I cry, heavy tears streaming down my face, I look and see them all with tears in their eyes

“I hate being single” I whine, grabbing a pillow and crying into it and the others start laughing at me

“Sure sure” Corinna says, taking all of our plates to the sink. After countless bottles of wine we started dipping into the vodka. Natalie decides to stay sober for tonight  since she’ll probably have to take everyone else home

“Wait hold on David’s calling” Natalie says, I turn the music down and sit there nursing my vodka bottle and another bottle of sparkling pink lemonade

“Yea I’m not sure Sage is in any shape to go anywhere” She comments with a laugh, watching Corinna take the bottle and pour more vodka in my mouth

“Uhm I don’t know, let me talk to her” Nat says, her smile falling as she covers the mic with her hand

“Is it cool if the boys come here? They’re tired of staying at David’s and he needs drunk Sage content” She asks, I look at the rest of the girls and sigh

“I guess” I reply, Natalie purses her lips before replying

“No, we said it was girl’s night. You can get drunk Sage content any day of the week” She says, soon there’s some jiggling by our door as Natalie and Carly quickly run to the door and lock the door with the latch above the handle

“David get the fuck out of here” Natalie yells, stopping them from kicking our door down

“It’s ok I guess, just let them in” I reply, getting off the floor and unlocking it, quickly  walking to my balcony and Erin locks the door behind me, knowing I should have some alone time

I play some music on my phone and just sip the vodka in my hand. I take a hit from my puff bar, just enjoying the cool breeze on my skin. I let some tears fall down, thoughts invade my head. Maybe Jeff is just over how clingy I am? Is he tired of being friends with me? I sigh and sink deeper into my chair. I jump when I hear a knock, I quickly wipe the tears off my face and turn. I’m greeted by that dumb face and nod.

“Hey” I said, taking a hit of my puff, watching the vapor disappear as Jeff take a seat next to me

“Hi..” he replies softly, I can feel him burning holes in the side of my head

“Carly said I should probably come talk to you” he continued, I roll my eyes and collect my things

“Thing is, I don’t really want to talk to you anymore ok? This is me, leaving your dumbass on read in real life” I slur, putting my phone in my pants as I reach the door he grabs my wrist

“Please, I know you’re mad and I don’t really know why” Jeff replies, I scoff and set my things back down

“You ignore me all day, LEAVE ME ON READ WHILE I’M TEN FUCKING FEET BEHIND YOU, over a fucking drunk kiss for the vlog. Why would I be mad? You asshole” I yell, finally getting someone to open the door and I storm back in, sitting in the kitchen with the girls

“I DOn’T ReaLlY kNoW WhY You’Re MAd. The fucking NERVE of him” I rant, Nat pats my back as the girls and I talk on the kitchen floor

After another hour everyone leaves and I get ready for bed. Sure, I could’ve actually talked to him and I really was until he asked why I’m mad. I mean what the fuck? Whatever, I set my alarm and slip off into a peaceful sleep.

[flamehairedwritings]

The Fiancé: Chapter Two

Characters: Steve Rogers x Female Plus-Size Reader

Rating: E, 18+ Only

Summary: Based on the prompt ��Character A’s ex will be at the Christmas Party A is attending. Character B poses as A’s fiancé ,’ by @alloftheprompts on tumblr. Now edited and extended!

A/N: I couldn’t get this idea out of my head recently, so here we are a year and half later. Yay!

This story includes swearing and alcohol with more tags to be added!

Masterlist

The Fiancé:  Chapter One

Read on AO3

Please don’t copy or steal my work, and please don’t post it on any other sites; credit does not count.

Good Morning, Washington!

Any minute now.

Any minute.

Your face is starting to ache from having it scrunched up so you can stare through the peep-hole properly.

3... 2... 1...

He still doesn’t appear.

How is that possible? You take the briefest of pauses to glance at your watch before swiftly returning your eye to the peep-hole. It’s 7:31. He’s always out of his door every single day at 7:30 for an hour long jog, and you’ve known that for three years because the sound of his door opening and closing is basically your alarm clock. Except for today. Today, you’ve gotten up before the opening and closing of the door because you want to make damn sure you don’t encounter him on your way to work. 

He’s always on time, how is he not out yet? Oh, no... Is he dead? Don’t be silly, of course he isn’t... No, he can’t be. Oh, just go.

Standing back, you exhale a short breath, adjust your bag on your shoulder and open your door. Closing it as quietly as possible behind yourself, you lock it and turn, pushing your keys into your bag.

Then you hear his door opening.

Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

You can do nothing else but freeze and stare at Steve Rogers stepping out of his apartment. As he closes and locks his own door, his keys going into the pocket of his sweatpants, he then turns to you and gives you that warm, wide smile that has you instantly smiling in return.

“Well, good morning. I didn’t know you even knew this time of day existed.”

You tilt your head, arching an eyebrow even as you unsuccessfully try to stop your smile from widening. “A-haa, you’re so funny, they keep ignoring my emails to have that little fact put in the museums.”

A corner of his mouth lifts higher than the other as he chuckles, his hands in his pockets. “How rude of them, I’ll bring it up at the next gala commemorating me.”

You snort as you walk together, him slowing a little so you can enter the elevator first. “Please do, I can’t wait to watch the live-stream of that.”

The elevator doors close as he leans his shoulder against the wall, your hands holding the strap of your bag as you face the doors.

“That reminds me actually...” Your gaze shifts to him as he looks to you, raising his eyebrows slightly. “... Tony’s throwing a party this Saturday to celebrate Christmas, ‘super-secret boy-band style’, I believe the invitation says.” Amusement and exasperation drips from his tone. “As you can imagine, I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my weekend, but I have to go, SHIELD and Stark orders, so, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”

Your mouth had already opened to make a quip at Stark’s expense, and now it just stays open.

Oh, God...

The nervousness that had vanished at the ease with which he can put you instantly returns.

“Uhm...” You can’t lie. You can’t say no, because A) That’s rude, and B) you’ll just have to give him a reason why, you won’t be able to stop yourself, and you really don’t want to give the truth. “... Yes. That sounds like fun.” You don’t know how you managed to say it without sounding completely like a robot.

He tilts his head, arching an eyebrow. “Easy, you know we both wouldn’t exactly call it ‘fun’, but I just thought you might want to see some of the guys, too, I know they’d love to see you.”

Oh, I do miss Sam and Nat, when was the last time we hung out... Right, so... Okay, that’s fine, then, that settles it, it’s just a friends thing.

Your smile is a little easier to maintain now as you nod. “Sure, yeah, that does sound like fun. Closer to our kind of fun, anyway.”

He looks slightly relieved, straightening as the elevator slows and the automated voice announces, ‘Ground Floor’.

“Great. Having you around will make it a little more bearable.” The doors open and he gestures for you to step out, his smile widening. “And I do reckon you owe me for Saturday.”

Oh, shit. 

You have to tell yourself to keep fucking moving and actually walk out of the elevator to the main doors of the building.

He means... Saturday. As in two days ago. As in when you were at your office Christmas party. As in when you bumped into your ex-boyfriend. As in when you told said ex-boyfriend that Steve Rogers is your fiancé. As in when Steve went along with being your fiancé. As in when he had his arm around you, called you ‘my girl’ and kissed the top of your head.

Swallowing, you quickly plaster on a smile as he catches up to you and gets the door, my God, just stop being so polite, letting you exit first.

“Oh... Yeah, well, you know...” You hope he knows because you don’t bloody know.

Letting the door swing shut and electronically lock behind him, he pushes his hands into his pockets again as you both pause on the pavement.

“Like I said, it wasn’t as awful as you painted it to be, and neither will this Stark party be, but I reckon fair is fair,” he smiles, tilting his head.

Oh. So we’re still not addressing the fiancé thing. Okay. Absolutely bloody fine.

You laugh quickly as you realise you’ve been quiet a second too long. “Oh, yeah, well, I think this party will be a lot more glamorous and the buffet a bit bigger.”

“That it will be. And a free bar, I’ve been told.”

“Oh, perfect!” You sound far too jovial about that. Hang on, that might actually help. Widening your smile, you gesture behind you. “I’d better get going, I have an early meeting.” Lies. “Thank you for the invite, though, I’d better dust off my glad-rags, see what wonders they can do for me.”

He chuckles and he’s still smiling and, oh, that smile. “Wear whatever you like, you look lovely in everything.”

You just laugh, slightly forcing it as you feel heat rise on your cheeks but, thank God, he’s already turned away, jogging off down the street. You meet a passing woman’s brief gaze and quickly drop your slightly maniacal smile, clearing your throat. It must have been really maniacal, actually, as her eyes quickly dart back to you and she frowns.

All righty.

Turning on your heel, you start to stride down the street, your mind buzzing. 

Oh, God...

You have a crush on Steve Rogers. Of course you have a crush on Steve Rogers, who doesn’t? But the absolute last thing in the world you want to do is ruin your friendship. You’d moved to D.C three years ago, on pretty much a whim, well, and a job offer, and a friend insisting it would be the best thing for you, not just your career... and it had been. You’d made such a good friend in Steve, and others, you loved your job, and... God, you really did not want to ruin any of it.

At the party, you’d nearly blown it, you still can’t believe you’d even said it. Steve had had every right to just laugh or frown at you or say his version of ‘what the fuck’, (’now hang on a second’), and you would have completely understood and forgiven him... Except he was the kindest man in the entire universe, so of course he’d just gone along with it, cracked one joke afterwards and not mentioned it again. Granted, it had only been an evening and a full day ago, but you were always messaging each other and it still hadn’t come up. Even on the ride back from the party, he’d driven, you’d just talked about the changing weather, sung along to a few songs on the radio and chatted about how you were each going to spend your Sunday.

Well, maybe, actually, it had been you talking about the weather, you singing along to the radio, and you talking about your Sunday. You had asked him how he was going to spend the next day, though... and asked question after question. Oh, he was going to watch a game at Sam’s? And Bucky was going to be there? How nice, how were they, by the way? Oh, how nice, that’s good, oh, look, back at the apartment!

Even when you’d messaged him yesterday it had just been to talk about the game, how the boys were and to send pictures of Sam’s new TV. Steve was either being very gracious and just letting it pass, or it just didn’t bother him at all, or even occur to him to talk about it.

Either way, you certainly weren’t going to bring it up.

With two weeks to go until Christmas, the weather was certainly colder, and, boy, did you feel it. Wishing you’d remembered your gloves in all the rushing around, you quickened your pace, shoving your anxieties away and dreaming of the hot drinks machine in the office kitchen.

Oh, hooo, I’m coming for you.

—

Stepping out of the elevator, you breathe a sigh of relief as the warmth of the office instantly washes over you. It’s a quiet space in a large building that houses everything from a law firm to a high-end fashion magazine, so you love this little floor of peace.

Book-publishing wasn’t something five-year-old you had dreamed of going in to, but you loved it. You loved discovering and meeting new, exciting authors, making their dreams come true, spreading their voice and imagination to the masses, and, hey, getting to read the proof-copies before the rest of the world is definitely a perk.

People in your office are lovely and calm, too, and despite the running joke that they’d have first dibs on Captain America’s only authorised biography should it ever come to fruition, no one really brings your friendship up unless you do. Smiling at the receptionist, Dolly, she returns it with a wide beam, which isn’t so unusual, she’s the happiest and most positive person you’ve ever met, until you realise she’s shoved her chair back and is darting around the desk to catch up with you.

She probably got up to something exciting at the weekend and can’t wait to tell me. She’s always doing exciting things, I wish I had the energy to do exciting things.

Walking along with you as you pass desks, only a couple of people here as it’s only 8:27 a glance at your watch tells you, Dolly is still beaming.

“So...”

“So...?” you prompt after a few moments as she just looks at you, exhaling a laugh.

You can always have a laugh with Dolly, she’s always ready to.

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

Oh, shit, it’s not her birthday, is it? No, it’s in May, we went to the Mexican restaurant across the road and got free tequila shots.

Raising your eyebrows as you smile in bemusement, you laugh again. “Uh, not really. Oh, I’m happy to see you, as always?”

She laughs, shaking her head. “You’re so coy!”

Pushing your office door open, you frown even as you continue smiling because what the hell is going on. “About what?”

She raises her arms as she stares at you, watching you place your bag on your desk and shrug your thick coat off. “’About what’?! Are you kidding me?”

Am I dreaming right now.

Sitting down in your chair, you raise your hands slightly, palms up. “I don’t actually understand what’s going on right now.”

Her hands go to her hips as she looks at you, amazed. “You’ve always been so damn good at keeping secrets, SHIELD should recruit you, I’ve always said it.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you to say, but I really don’t know what’s going on, Dolly.” Turning your computer on, you raise your eyebrows.

A wide smile breaks out across her features as she raises her arms again. “Your engagement, you secretive little secret-keeper!”

Your mouth drops open as you stare at her, one hand hovering over the keyboard, the other on your mouse.

“... I’m sorry?”

“Gwen heard you telling Joe at the party!” She’s grinning. She’s beaming. She’s delighted. “I get why you’d want to keep it a secret, but I’m so pleased you’re deciding to tell people!”

“Oh, my God... Dolly—”

“Oh, is it still a secret?” Her arms drop as she glances at the rest of the office but luckily no one’s close by. “Okay, all right, I’ll make sure no one gossips, I’ll put a stop to it if I hear any.” She grins again. “Until you tell people that is.” As you open your mouth to speak, she gives a little squeal and presses a hand over her heart. “I’m just so, so happy for you, babe, I can’t wait to hear all about it!”

I’m not dreaming. This is actually a nightmare. Or hell. Hell would be more deserving.

“Dolly, I, uhm, I actually—”

“Oh, shoot, sorry,” she interrupts, pulling a face as you hear the phone at her desk ringing. “Guess the day’s started.” Beaming, she blows you a kiss as she heads out of the door, pulling it closed behind her... but not before mouthing, “I love you, I’m so happy for you.”

You just watch her through the large window. Watch her march down the aisle in her heels. She always has great heels. Unique and stylish ones. Ah, yeah, she has a friend at the fashion magazine on the 21st floor. And you’re down here. On the 11th floor. Staring out of a window at your friend. Having an out of body experience.

You blink a few times as you sit back, frowning at yourself before you exhale a laugh.

Oh, come on, now, get a grip. Just call her once she’s finished with whoever she’s talking to, and then it’ll be fine, you’ll laugh about it, laugh about it some more when you have lunch, and then maybe laugh about it a bit more later. It’ll be hilarious.

Clearing your throat, you sign-in to your computer and open the internet browser. You usually check your phone first thing in the morning, but having been too preoccupied frantically running around trying to get ready to evade a certain someone, you haven’t had the chance yet. As Head of Marketing, you like to know what’s going on pretty much every second of the day on social media, see what trends there are and see what people are saying about the company’s books.

The browser opens onto a round-up of the news stories of the day, as it always does so you can get a quick overview of what’s going on, and you start to glance over them.

And then you freeze.

Oh, fucking hell.

Fucking Jesus Christ.

Headlines are jumping out at you, screaming.

Cap’s New Flame!

Who’s On The Guest List For The Wedding of The Century?!

Downtown NY Wedding Boutique Says It’s Already Making A Dress!

I Pledge Allegiance To... Who?!

You click on a random article and instantly start to read, your mouth open.

Good morning, Washington! What news we have for you! Previously linked to former SHIELD Director Peggy Carter in the 40s, then her niece, Sharon Carter, a few years ago, Cap’s love-life has since been as still as the ice he was found in... until now! Who is the mysterious lady who’s rumoured to be Steve’s fiancée? There’s no word yet on her name or even what she looks like, but we’ll keep you up-to-date with minute-by-minute re-caps (pun not intended!) and updates! Click the alarm for notifications, or subscribe... 

That’s why the woman on the street had stared. Quite a few people had stared actually. Some had even whispered. You’d just chalked it up to your usual anxieties but... Oh, God.

There’s a knock on your door.

Your gaze drifts up to find Dolly opening it, biting at her lower lip as she leans in. She’s not smiling anymore.

“Uh... It’s the, uhm, editor of the Washington Post on line 1, she, uhm... She’d like to schedule an interview.”

You stare at her, frozen, feeling hot and cold all at once.

Oh my fucking God.

—

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[futurewriter2000]

Convince me

A/N: This took me so long and no I won’t edit it because I just don’t want to read it again. I’m just gonna listen to my George Michael and chill at 2am.

PAIRING: Fred Weasley x reader

REQUEST: Could you do a Fred Weasley x Reader when their in their fourth year where they both are secretly in love with eachother. But one day George asks somethin like what do you like in a guy and since shes a few months older then them she jokingly says she likes older men. Later Percy asks her out she says no but Fred doesn't know that and thinks she said yes cause "she likes older men". And theres angst and stuff.

XX

 Sometimes you couldn’t describe what you felt. You knew exactly when you were angry; the gritting of your teeth, heart pumping faster, blood reaching your cheeks, nerves thinning, brain clouded... or when you were sad; usually feeling like your heart was in a dark pit, floating in a shallow sea of sorrow. 

But this feeling- this emotion- this whatever this is, you couldn’t describe it with words. You couldn’t even figure it out what this really was. It wasn’t just an affinity, nor attrection and desire but it wasn’t love either. So what was it? 

When your eyes meet, your heart stops for a second and it starts pounding in your chest. When his smile reaches his cheeks and is directed to you, your hands become clammy and feel yourself get sweaty. When he speaks with his voice, your stomach twists and starts doing rhythmic gymnastics but what happens when he’s close and his hand brushes against yours?- Combination of chaos, hormones and emotions. A mess to put it subtle.

“Hey, Cherry.” you snapped your head at the ginger boy, your eyes narrowing at him. 

Cherry. The nickname George and Fred thought of when they pulled a hair-colouring prank on you. Your hair was vibrant red, sticking out in every direction and because of the poor inovention, it kept letting red drops fall on the ground, turning them into cherries. It kept going on for three days. 

“Stop calling me that, George. If anyones hair is cherry, it’s yours.” you rolled your eyes at him. 

“George? What in the right mind made you think I am George and not Fred.” he scrunched his eyebrows together and crossed his arms over his chest as if he was offended. 

You could only wish it was Fred talking to you at the moment but he wasn’t. It was his brother. His taller brother whose nose was more crooked, eyes more round and brown, lips more thin yet more rosier, shoulders less broad, more brawny body and grin almost reflecting his brother’s yet with less mischief. Oh, and one more thing. You weren’t in love with George and the energy around was quite different than around Fred.

“Don’t bother, George.” you slightly pushed his shoulder so his arms uncrosed and fell down against his body. “You know it doesn’t work with me.”

He bent down, looking directly in your eyes and wondering. “You never cease to amaze me. From all the people that can tell us apart, you are the only one.” 

A blush crept on your cheeks, flattered by his words. “You make me swoon with your choice in words,George Weasley.” you crinckled your nose at him and started walking forward. 

Yet, he was more nervous when he walked. Tensed as even, You quirked an eyevrow at him and he smiled awkwardly. “Swoon, you say, I wouldn’t be surprised because, well...” he stopped in front of you, showing himself off. “Look at me.”

“I am.” you narrowed your eyes. “Can’t say I see much.” you joked and he let out a scoff.

“Oh, okay Mrs. Heartbreaker. What is much for you?” 

You laughed at his response, looking over his shoulder and seeing a 7th year Gryffindor Quidditch Keeper laugh with his roommate. “You see that Gryffindor over-there.” you nodded behind him and he turned around to see the 7th year. 

“Really? Oliver Wood?”

“Not just him. Your brother there isn’t so bad either. It’s like killing two birds with one stone- or more likely two birds killing one stone.” you winked and George laughed.

“Percy? As in my older brother Percy??” he kept looking at you with shock.

“How older exactly?” you continued to tease.

“Like too old for your picky arse- are you serious?” he still couldn’t believe his hearing. “Percy?”

“You know what the say; the older you get the more experianced you are.” you winked at him, walking away as his mouth fell agape. 

“Your dirty mind cannot compare to your innocent name, Cherry.” he spoke behind you.

“It’s always the most innoncent that are the wildest in bed.” you turned around with a grin, waved at him and left for your dorms.

And it was not all lie. You liked Percy even if he was a stuck up sometimes, he could really be sweet with you, caring even. You’ve never seen Percy Weasley rested nor relaxed. He was always trying to achieve something. His ambitions drove his mind almost to insanity.

Yet, you remembered this one day, back in your 2nd Year, he was sleeping in the library. His head was supported by his hand and his horn-rimmed glasses were on the pile of papers, his other hand on top of a few open books that were on top of some other closed books. And though at the time, you and Percy only exchanged a nodd or a simple “hi”, you decided to wake the Prefect up. 

‘ Your hand touched his shoulder and you rocked him gently. “Percy.” you spoke very quietly, trying not to frighten him. “Percy.” you tried again and he opened his eyes slowly. They were just like Fred’s, you noticed. When his mind awoke as well, he jumped up-straiht and started looking around. 

“Merlin! What time is it?!” he shouted and you shushed him.

“It’s late. That’s why I woke you up.” 

He looked up, calmed down and smiled softly. “You’re (y/n), right?”

You smiled and nodded. “Yes. That’s me.” you kept smiling. “I didn’t know you knew my real name due to your brothers always calling me Cherry.” 

“My brother’s can quite step over the limit but they don’t mean harm.” he smiled as well. It was as if you were looking a completely different side of him. “Sit.” he offered, gesturing his hand to the chair. “I hear you’re doing great in all of your classess except Charms. I could tutor you if you would like.” 

“YES!” you blurted out desperatly. “I mean...” you looked down with a blush and fumbled your fingers. “I’d love to.” ‘ 

Charms was always hell for you. Always. Since the first year and you could notice that Flitwick wasn’t very fond of you as well. Fred and George, as great as they were with Charms, were never much on school and tutoring after-school hours wasn’t their idea of living. So, Percy was the one who always helped you with your school work, especially Charms and since that night, you got to know a completely different side of him. He could be patient and sweet. He takes his time with explaining how to do a wand movement or how to figure out Arithmancy when you decided to take the class.  

Yes, you liked Percy Weasley but he wasn’t his brother. He wasn’t Fred. He wasn’t the one you felt a mess for.

---

It was odd though. The next time you saw Percy, he was a bit on edge. He kept playing with his fingers, his mouth kept being curved up into this awkward smile and his voice kept shaking- speaking far too quickly for your ears to catch his words.

“Percy.” you put your hand on his, looking into his eyes. “You keep bouncing your leg and that is really distracting. I can’t concentrate.”

He sat solid on that chair like a rock, watching you back before shaking his head and smiling softly.” Sorry. I’m just a bit nervous.”

“May I ask you why?” you smiled and dropped down your pen to listen.

“Uhm...” he chuckled awkwardly, avoiding your eyes. “Well, George told me you fancied me for a while and I sort of fancy you back but I never wanted to say anything because of the-” he stopped for a while, reading your expression that stayed just the same as he started telling you this.”-age thing.” he continued with caution. “But he said you actually prefer that so I thought, maybe. if you want, we can go to Hogsmeade together next week?” 

You stared, empty for words, confused at what he just said,- what? What just happened?

“Percy...” you started with a disappointing sigh, seeing as his shoulders dropped. 

“It’s alright. I knew-”

“No, Percy. I do like you and if I do go on the Hogsmeade date with you, what would happen after? After you grauate and leave. I still have 3 years of Hogwarts left and you have a carrier to think about.” you smiled and put your hand on top of his. You could see his mind clear up, the pieces coming together. “Plus...I know you are still in love with Penny and I- well, I’m also in love with somebody else.”

You could see him exhale the breath he was holding it. In a way, he expected to be disappointed but if he was honest with himself, he was actually relieved. 

“Does that someone else have to do with my brother?” he smirked at you and you felt your eyes widen at him. 

He knew!

“You knew!” 

“The puppy eyes, the obvious red stain on your cheeks. It doesn’t take a genious to figure out.” he chuckled and leaned back on the chair.

“Yeah, well obviously it takes your brother quite some time to figure it out.” you sighed and leaned back as well.

“Just tell him then.”

“You tell Penny.” you snapped back.

“Tell her what?”

“That you want her back.”

“I do not!” he denied but you knew he was lying through his front teeth. You fixiated your gaze on him and he smiled awkwardly. “Perhaps I do but like you said, my Hogwarts years are coming to an end and we’re both going seperate way. All I want to say to you is that don’t wait as long as I did.” 

---

The next time you saw Fred Weasley, he wasn’t in his best of moods. You walked in the Gryffindor common room and saw two red-heads together, whispering. 

You rolled your eyes and made your way to the armchair opposite. “Hey, there strangers.”

Their heads popped up. George smiled meanwhile Fred didn’t. “Hey.” they both said in unison and then started whispering again. 

You knitted your eyebrows together and moved closer to them, trying to start a conversation. “What are the two of you doing?” 

“Noone of your business, Cherry.” said Fred with a forced grin. 

You leaned back, amazed by the attitude Fred just gave you and looking at George who shared the same expression as you. 

“Okay.” you said and stood up. “Guess, I’ll leave you both alone.” 

“Come on, Ch-” George tried to speak but Fred cut him off.

“Yeah. I think you know where my brother’s dorm is but I don’t think he’s there.” 

You turned around. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” Fred mumbled and turned his eyes back on the paper he was working with his brother. 

You kept looking at him. Shocked? Furious? With the most horrible feeling in our stomach? - More or so. Furious. 

“Guess, I will. He seems to be far better of a company than the two of you.” and you stomped up to the boys dormitory, walking into Percy’s room and starting to rant. “Your brother is such a prick! I cannot believe I fell for him!” you sat down on the bed and then got up again, throwing your arms around nervously. “Firstly, he’s all flirty and touchy with me! Always Cherry this, Cherry that! I honestly thought he might like me back but noooo,, not Fred-right! NOT FRED! He’s just gonna make a girl feel more daft then she already feels!” you turned to point finger at Percy who was grinning at you, flicking his eyes to his right. 

You looked to your right side only to see Oliver Wood, sitting and grinning on his bed. 

You covered your lips with your hands, feeling more embarrased than you did with Fred. “I didn’t see you there.” you spoke shyly and he just laughed. 

“I’m glad you didn’t. Then I wouldn’t see this intimidating side of you.” he said and put his hands away from the books. “So I gather you fancy Fred?”

“What gives you that idea?” you joked.

“Just a guess.” he joked as well, getting up and stretching his arms. “It’s funny because Fred fancies you back, you know?” 

“No, he doesn’t.” you laughed in denial. 

“He does?” Percy sceptically looked at Oliver. 

“Yeah.”

“I don’t believe you.” you said, still laughing. 

“Want me to prove it?” he rolled his eyes.

“How?- actually no.” you shook your head, standing up. “I- Fred doesn’t like me. He just doesn’t and he just proved it. He would never act the way he did right now.” 

“(Y/n). That’s what guys do-”

“No, no.” you shook your head. “I am better than him. Better than planning schemes and trying to prove a point.” you said and walked through the doors. 

---

Well, you thought you were better than that. Fred’s been driving you insane all week. He kept teasing you, something about dating older guys and it didn’t bother you much because you only retorded something back but he crossed the line when he told other people you were shagging one of them.

You stormed into their room, red-stained, furious. “HOW?!” you clenched your fists and stared at his eyes, meanwhile Oliver just smiled.

“Just follow my lead.”

---

You never really knew what Oliver meant by following his lead but you did what he told you to do. You waited in the common room but since his Quidditch practice took a bit more longer than he told you it would, you decided to read a book. 

It was until the loud voices came echoing from the portrait hole and the whole Quidditch team reappeared. 

You looked up at Oliver and he smiled at you, meanwhile Fred behind them quirked an eyebrow. 

“Come on. Go.” Angelina pushed Oliver, meanwhile Fred shot his head to her. 

“What’s going on?” Fred asked, switching his gazes between Oliver, you and Angelina. 

It was until right that moment when Percy came from behind them and leaned on Fred’s shoulder. “Oh, so he’s finally going to ask her out.”

Fred now shot his head to him. “I thought you asked her out?”

“I did but she made me realize I still have feelings for Penny and that because of the age gap, it wouldn’t work out.” Percy said and Fred shot his eyes back to the laughing pair at the couch. 

“Then she’d say no to him as well.” he said more nervously. 

“Wouldn’t know. Wood can be pretty good with the ladies-” he said but Fred was already with the two of you. 

You continued to giggle, touching Oliver’s arm and not taking a second glance at the boy who stood above you. He cleared his throat and both of you looked up to him.

“Yes, Fred?” 

“What’s going on here?” 

“Just two people enjoying each other’s company...alone.” 

“Aren’t the two of you a bit too cosy?” he kept glaring.

“So what if we are?” you crossed your arms over your chest. Was he really getting jealous? 

“Why would you care, Freddie?” Wood grinned, leaning back and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “It’s not like you like her. Do you?” 

He glared into Oliver’s eyes and felt his body shake. He wanted to punch him and tore that arm around you off him. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, red staining his cheeks. 

“Fred?” you asked and his eyes shot to yours who looked so innocently at his. “Do you?” 

Fred kept exchanging looks. He wanted to deny. To say no or something but the way you were looking at him, he just thought that maybe- just maybe you liked him back.

But that was impossible. 

“Uh-I-”

“Oh bloody hell this is torturing.” Oliver groaned. “Just admit it. You like her, she likes you- end of story.” he stood up and clasped his hands together. “Now go make out and thank me later.” he started walking away. “Preferably with those nice sour gummy worms.” and he was out of sight, leaving both you and Fred blushing and awkwardly standing alone. 

“Do- do you really like me?” he looked up in your eyes  and sat down next to you. 

“I mean there’s no point in hiding it anymore.” you laughed and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“But I thought you liked older guys.” 

“Who told you that?” you smiled and felt the tension thinning.

“George said-”

“George?” you laughed. “All we ever do is joke around and make stupid sarcastic retords. Why would you ever believe George?” 

“I don’t know-” he smiled. “I just guess since I like you as well it felt serious at the time.”

A smile wiped itself from your lips.

It was true. Oliver and Percy were right. 

And then the biggest curve your lips could form appeared on our cheeks.”Really?”

“You don’t believe me?” he rolled his eyes, smiling. 

“I mean-”

His hand reached for your cheek and he pulled you into a kiss. A soft, short kiss just for the first taste. He pulled away, looking at your eyes and smiling. “Believe me now?” 

“I think I’ll need some more convincing.” 

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

with you [chapter 5]

Summary: Clementine pops the question, Louis has nightmares, Violet can’t let go of the past, Mitch doesn’t know how to handle gross feelings, Ruby’s a goddamn sweetheart, Willy doesn’t ever remember to knock, Aasim can’t dance, and James is here, too.

Nothing like a wedding to bring this family together.

Note: I’m home from my grandmothers. My uncle came back a little early and now I finally get to sleep in my own bed and have internet. It’s been an exhausting two weeks but at least some good came of it. I finished rewriting/editing three chapters of [with you] which is progress. Working on this is what kept my sanity in check tbh haha. I still need some time to unpack and recover before being fully back on here, so I hope you enjoy this chapter! 

Also, I’ve updated [with you] on Fanfiction.net and Wattpad, as well. I’ve pretty much given up on them but then I thought that I do have readers on those platforms who have messaged me about [with you] so I might as well update them, too. So yeah. Thanks for reading and for your support for this story. :D

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5

Read on: AO3 | FF.net | Wattpad

---

Clementine yanks the basement doors open, only to gag when a nauseating scent of vinegar knocks her in the face. 

“What the hell?” she coughs.

“C’mon!” Willy grabs her arm and hurries down the stairs, dragging her with him. “Mitch! Clem’s here!”

Something heavy and metallic drops hard to the cement. “Shit!” Mitch curses. “Told you not to do that, Willy!”

“Sorry!”

She follows the young boy deeper into the basement and finds herself amazed at Mitch’s set up. The work desk is completely covered with drills, hammers, saws, files, batteries, a few of their solar panels, and other machines she didn’t recognize. Flashlights are wired in the air pointing directly at the anvil Mitch sits in front of. There’s a chipped bowl filled with a clear liquid sitting on top.

“Finally,” Mitch says when he sees her. Clementine’s startled by his more than usual unkempt appearance- hair standing in every direction, dirtiness staining his hands, shirt and face, and the weariness lining his eyes. 

“Uh, are you okay?” she asks him.

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves dismissively, standing from his stool, yawning heavily as he tosses a dirty rag away. 

Willy rushes to help him scoot the various tools aside so Mitch can reach something closest to the wall. It’s a small, brown box.

Clementine approaches the two boys, trying to hide her eagerness as she asks, “Well? Were you able to fix it?”

Mitch scratches at the back of his neck and turns away. “Not exactly,” he says, “It sorta got ruined when I messed around with it.”

Her heart drops. 

“Ruined how?”

“I may have broke it.”

“Broke it!?”

Mitch whips around, holding up a hand. “Now, don’t cry about it,” he says quickly, “it was a shitty ring, anyway. Louis would’ve broken it himself if you gave it to him… maybe.” He grabs a small wrench from the table and swings it around on his finger nervously. 

“Mitch,” she can’t help that her voice came out so miserably angry. “If you couldn’t fix it then you should’ve left it alone! What am I supposed to do now?”

“Woah, hey, don’t freak out! Just listen for two seconds,” he says. “I didn’t mean to break it. We started messing around with some stuff to try and reshape it but then it snapped and James came wandering down here and the whole thing was a shitshow. There was no saving that thing. Kind of a piece of shit. So,” he looks away as he shoves the brown box towards her, “We did you one better.”

Willy’s practically vibrating with excitement next to them as he motions eagerly to the box. “Open it! Open it!”

Clementine takes the box and pulls the lid off. It takes her a moment to process what she’s seeing. 

There’s a clean piece of fabric bunched up at the bottom, and within the folds rests two matching silver bands. Her head snaps up and her jaw drops. 

His exhausted, shit-eating grin is enough of a confirmation that what she’s seeing is real. 

“Oh my god!” she gasps. “Where did you get these?”

“Made ‘em.”

“What? You-” she blinks up at him in disbelief, “-you made these?”

“Super awesome, huh?” Willy laughs. “I told’ja we had it under control!”

“The smell’ll wear off, too,” Mitch says, “had to polish ‘em with vinegar.” 

Clementine carefully lifts the bigger of the two rings out of the box. “How- How did you-?”

“Quarters,” Mitch smirks. “Willy here keeps a pretty impressive coin collection. Took a while to find the right ones, but we got it.”

“Yeah, we made a shit ton of them!” Willy reaches into his pocket and pulls out various different rings, most of them scratched up or disfigured in some way. 

“It’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it,” Mitch shrugs. “Willy found this old book about sailors overseas making rings for their girlfriends back home. Just gotta hammer them then drill out the middle, do some filing and hammer some more. Once me and James knew what we were doing, we used the measurement I took of your finger and made yours. That one turned out great, so we made Louis’ to complete the set… and it only took us an entire day to do and there were, eh… complications , but they’re done.”

 Clementine runs her finger over the smooth surface, “This is-” she stops when she notices something engraved on it. She blinks, but it’s still there scratched into the shiny surface.

C + L

“That part was Mitch’s idea,” Willy points at the tiny letters, “had to use a really sharp nail to get it that clear.”

“We’ve all seen the piano,” Mitch quickly explains, rolling his eyes, “figured it’d be a good finishing touch. No big deal.”

She puts the box on the workbench. Without any warning, she throws herself at Mitch, wrapping her arms around his now tense body.

“Woah, hey, um-!” Mitch panics and sticks his arms out to avoid touching her.

“You guys have no idea what this means to me.”

“Uh-!”

He turns to Willy, bewildered. The young boy begins to laugh as he points at Mitch’s panicked face. Clementine reaches out and yanks Willy forward, pulling him into the hug as well. Even then, he’s still giggling like an amused child. 

Then, like the realization that they’re all hugging finally hits him over the head, Mitch jerks back, nearly tripping over his feet when turning back towards the work desk. He clears his throat.

“Said it’s not a big fucking deal, and it’s not like we did all the work, y’know. James helped, too, so just-” he grumbles, fumbling with the wrench, “-... consider it an early wedding present, or whatever.” 

Clementine can’t help but laugh at how weirdly cute it is that he’s embarrassed. She picks up the rings again to pull out the smaller one. It fits perfectly on her finger.

“I don’t know if I could ever thank you guys enough for doing this,” she beams, making a note to thank James in the morning. God, the ring fits so perfectly she can’t believe it. 

“Yeah, well, y’know,” Mitch nervously scratches his cheek, a rare smile betraying his lips, “whatever.”

”Mitch! Ya still down here!?” Ruby’s voice echoes from the top of the stairs. “Lou’s in the music room! Did’ja find the box of spare candles? We’re gonna need a lot to fill the whole place up!”

“Oh, shit-” Mitch hisses.

“No one’s down here!” Willy jumps into action, dashing towards the stairs and stretching his arms out. “ Do not enter !” 

“Gah, Willy, move it!”

Clementine closes the small box and shoves it into her pocket before turning to face Ruby as she pushes Willy to the side. Ruby sets her lantern on the workbench, lighting up the basement enough for Clementine to make out the thrill brightening her eyes. 

“Clementine!” she gasps. 

It’s Clementine’s turn to receive a surprise hug when Ruby practically tackles her. 

“Oh, Clem, I heard the news! Why didn’t ya tell me!? This is so excitin’! Ahh! I can’t believe ya didn’t tell me!”  Ruby pulls back to ask the boys, “Did’ja give ‘em to her yet?”

Clementine slowly turns to glare at the two boys.

Willy lowers his head in shame and Mitch fake coughs into his fist. Neither of them answers the question, nor do they dare look Clementine in the eye.

“ Mitch -”

“Before you flip the fuck out,” Mitch holds a finger up to stop her, ”she’s the one who came in here demanding to know what we were doing! She tried to wack me with one of Omar’s wooden spoons! I had to tell her!”

“Oh, no I didn’t! I said I would wack ya with one if ya didn’t explain yerself!” argues Ruby. “I thought ya were makin’ another bomb!”

“I haven’t messed with that shit for, like, weeks!”

Clementine can already see where this is going to go, and the best thing to do is stop it in its tracks.

“Okay, stop!” She raises her voice above theirs. The basement’s quiet again. She takes a deep breath. “I’m not mad.”

“You sound mad,” says Willy.

“I’m not. Ruby, you were going to find out about it anyway, though I can’t say I expected it to go down like this. Does anyone else know?”

“No,” says Ruby and Mitch. 

“Uhm, well…” Willy nervously laughs.

“Dude,” Mitch frowns down at the young boy.

“I didn’t mean to! Aasim saw me going through my coin collection earlier! Then he started asking all these questions and it just came out! But, I made him swear on his soul he wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“What?” Ruby asks. “When was this?”

“This morning.”

“And he didn’t say anything to me!”

“Yeah, because Willy asked him not to,” Mitch says. “Keep up.”

Clementine feels the beginnings of a headache coming on. 

She trusts Aasim. He's never let her down in the past, and he wouldn’t say anything to Louis, especially if he knows this is a surprise. 

“Anyone else?” Clementine asks.

Willy shakes his head.

So, of the people in their group, AJ, James, Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Aasim all know.

That just leaves Omar, Tenn, and… 

And Violet.

She’s about to speak, but Ruby grabs her hand to admire the ring. “Wow, it’s even prettier on,” she gleams. “Gotta say, boys, ya did a real good job.”

Mitch rolls his eyes.

“Well, yeah .” 

“How’re ya gonna ask him? James and I were thinkin’ that you do it in the music room, of course, and we’ll help ya decorate it with candles and lanterns, make it real romantic.”

“Gross,” Mitch murmurs.

“Hush,” Ruby warns him. “Or, on the roof, under the pretty stars! Or, we can even decorate yer dorm! Whattya think? Omar can cook ya something special and, oh! I found some real pretty classical records fer ya to play! Ya gotta set the mood, after all.”

“We can make some cool fireworks, too!” Willy exclaims.

“Oh, no you won’t! No bombs, no fireworks!”

“Just a few sparklers? To set the mood?”

“No! Especially if it’s inside! Which I think would be best since ya never know with the damn weather.”

“Wow, Ruby,” Clementine’s astonished at the girl’s excitement. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

“‘Course! I know I may be buttin’ in a little-” Mitch scoffs “-but I never thought I’d get to witness somethin’ like this after all that’s happened! I mean, a wedding ! It’s like somethin’ outta the fairytales! And, listen, ya don’t hafta take my suggestions. You can ask him any way ya want! Just know that we’re all here to help! Oh, and the wedding !”

“Oh, God,” Mitch groans.

“We’re definitely plannin’ a wedding!”

“Geez, who’s really getting married here?” Mitch asks, irritated. “You or Clem?”

“Oh, shut it! Why can’t ya just be excited?”

“Excited about what? Does nothing for me.”

“Y’know, thinkin’ about someone else fer a change wouldn't kill ya!”

“Okay, please stop arguing,” Clementine interrupts them. “At least let me get through the actual proposal before we start doing anything else.”

“Shit,” Ruby curses herself, “sorry, Clem. Guess I got a little excited.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Willy asks eagerly. “When are we going this?”

Clementine peers down at the ring on her finger, and says, “Now that I have the rings, I’m going to do it tomorrow. In the evening. I like your idea, Ruby, about the candles in the music room.”

“Thought ya would,” Ruby grins. “We keep a bunch of ‘em down here. We’ll all help ya decorate, ‘cept keepin’ Louis outta there might be a task.”

“That’s easy,” Mitch says. “Send him hunting for the day, him and Aasim.”

“My goodness, there’s an idea,” says Ruby, “that way, Aasim can keep an eye on him and make sure he don’t wander back here unannounced.”

“James, too,” Clementine adds. “Just in case Louis doesn’t listen to Aasim, or they get in a tight spot.”

“Right!” Ruby claps her hands. “Oh, I’m gettin’ excited again!”

“Geez, you’re acting more excited than she is,” Mitch jerks his thumb at Clementine.

“Believe me, I don’t think anyone’s as excited as I am,” Clementine smiles, holding up her hand to admire the ring one last time before slipping it back in the box. “It’s just a lot to take in. We just have to be careful now. Louis can’t know anything.”

They all turn to Willy, who hangs his head in shame once more.

“I said it was an accident.”

“I know,” Clementine sighs. “Maybe you should avoid him for now, Willy. Just in case. And, Mitch,” she turns to him, “don’t throw any more shoes at him.”

“Hey, you want him wandering down here? No, you don’t. Thought we established that. ‘Sides, the ring’s done. Nothing left for me to work on.”

“Right, but still, you can’t be acting all suspicious. He’s already worried about you. That’s why he tried to come down here yesterday.”

“Pfft,” Mitch scowls. “Worried…”

“Well, while we know Lou’s in the music room, I’ll gather everyone before they turn in and we can discuss the plan. Don’t worry, we’ll be discreet,” Ruby assures her. “Mitch, yer on candle and match duty. Willy, in the mornin’ I want ya ta go out and pick as many pretty flowers as ya can.”

“Aw,” Willy pouts, “how come I got flower duty?”

“It’s either that or ya gotta help Omar cook. Yer choice.”

Willy doesn’t argue. Omar’s a genuinely nice guy, but he’s also an incredibly particular cook. Willy wasn’t going to willingly put himself into that nightmare.

Soon, they have all the details worked out.

Aasim and James will take Louis far away to go hunting until evening, giving them a few hours to set up.

Ruby will work on setting up a little picnic area for them on the floor and figure out the music. Willy will go around with Tenn and AJ to pick enough flowers for a bouquet, as well as decorate an old vase to put them in. Omar will cook them something extra special, and Mitch will gather all the candles and place them in the safest places around the music room.

As for Clementine herself, she’ll help fix things up in the piano room, but there’s something else she wants to try, as well. Something that she’s been contemplating for the past week.

She hides the box in her jacket with a big, dumb grin stuck on her face. She still can’t believe that Mitch, James, and Willy actually made her a matching set of wedding rings. She tries not to show it, but the very thought of both her and Louis wearing them makes her giddy.

But, there’s still an issue pressing on her mind.

“Ruby?” Clementine’s grin is replaced with a worrying frown. “Are… are you going to tell Violet?”

And, just like that, the room becomes tense.

“Violet?” asks Willy.

“Oh, well, shoot,” Ruby mutters, “didn’t even think of Vi.”

“Don’t fucking bother,” Mitch snaps. “She’s not gonna give a shit, and if she does, she’ll just ruin the whole thing.”

Ruby looks up at Mitch with distraught eyes. “We gotta tell her, Mitch. She’ll feel left out-”

“Oh, don’t start with that bullshit. Why do you anyways try to include her?”

“Because whether you like it or not, she’s one of us. She’s family.”

“Oh, please. She’s an asshole!”

“You bite yer tongue, right now!”

“Well, it’s true!”

“The only reason she’s mean ta you is because yer a jerk ta her first! God, everyone else is decent, why can’t you be?”

A sick feeling comes over her. Clementine can’t quite place what it actually is, but it always boils within her whenever the idea of talking to Violet strikes her.

Over the past two years, she’s tried talking to Violet. Not big things. Saying, “Hello,” or “How are you?” or “Are you okay?” 

Every single time, Violet doesn’t mutter a single word. All she gives is a glare and the view of her back as she walks away.

She told Louis how much she missed Violet once.

He watched her suffer after losing Violet as a close friend. There were a few nights just after the delta that Clementine found herself crying, and he was there to hold her, to promise her that Violet would come around, she just needed time.

Louis tried to fix things between her and Violet.

She can still remember that night. He snuck into the darkness of the room. AJ was fast asleep.

Clementine can remember the rage filling her insides when she saw the bruise forming on his face and the tears slipping down his cheeks. She barely made it to the door before Louis grabbed her, begging her not to go after Violet, that she didn’t even know what happened. AJ woke up, and Louis lied about what was wrong. It was only when they were alone in the hallway that he told her what happened.

They’d gotten into an argument, Louis and Violet. An argument about her. Louis defended her and tried to understand Violet’s animosity. She refused to talk. She only cussed and shoved him away. 

Louis got too close, and like a reflex, Violet swung.

Violet didn’t come out of her room for almost two weeks after that. She spoke to no one but Tenn when he brought her food. 

She didn’t come out until Louis spoke to her again.

And it all happened because of her…

“Don’t worry about it, Ruby,” Clementine speaks up. “I’ll tell her.”

“The fuck you will!” Mitch‘s brow furrows in fury and his fists curl. 

“It’s not like she’ll try to stab me just for talking to her,” Clementine argues.

“Oh yeah? Just like how she didn’t try to stab you after the delta, right? For fuck's sake, had Louis and James not stepped in you would’ve had a nice big gash right between your eyes! She attacked you, Clem! And she’s never said sorry or even pretended that she felt guilty about it! She betrayed us! She’s a traitor!”

“Mitch!” Ruby gasps out. “Don’t talk so ugly! Vi’s no such thing! That was years ago and things have changed! Maybe if you put in some more effort-”

“Oh, fucking hell-”

“-then you wouldn’t be so damn quick to be cruel! And y’know, maybe it is time they finally sort this out.”

“Fuck that!”

Clementine straightens herself out and confidently stands up to Mitch. 

“I appreciate your concern, but-”

“My concern ?” Mitch glares. “What, my concern that I’ll have to dig your grave when that bitch snaps and puts a fucking cleaver in you?”

“She wouldn’t really do that, right?” Willy says, eyes widening.

“Of course she would! She’s-”

“Mitchell Robert Daymond!” Ruby exclaims, causing all of them to jump, startled. All eyes fall on Ruby’s small, angry form as she points right at Mitch’s face. “That is enough outta you. This ain’t yer choice, and bein’ a prick about it ain’t gonna get yer way! Gah, ya act like Vi’s some sorta- sorta monster and I’m sick of it.” 

Mitch opens his mouth to speak, only to have Ruby cut him off. 

“ No ,” she demands. “ No more .”

The air becomes uncomfortably heavy as the two glare at one another. Clementine finds herself breathing slower as if a regular breath would be too much for the tension. Glancing over at poor Willy, she finds him standing close behind Mitch, still gripping his arm and looking between the two. 

Only when Mitch tears his gaze away to scowl at the floor does Ruby turn back to Clementine.

“If this is somethin’ ya wanna do, then we’re right behind ya,” she says. “Vi’s not gonna be happy about it, that’s fer sure, but she won’t do nothin’ ta hurt ya, either. I know it.”

The tension in her shoulders relax with her sigh as Clementine nods. 

“I know, and you’re right. I’m tired of this. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life avoiding her when I can try and make things right. Maybe we won’t ever be friends again, but we can at least be on speaking terms." Clementine looks to her ring once more. “Louis will want her at the wedding, and if she isn’t there because of me…”

“Do what ya can, Clem,” Ruby smiles, placing a comforting hand on Clementine’s shoulder. “Just... promise you’ll be careful?”

“I will.”

“Fucking shit,” Mitch hisses under his breath, rubbing both hands over his face in frustration. “If you’re actually serious, then you’re not going alone. I’ll go with you and make sure she doesn’t pull anything.”

“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Ruby objects. “Yer not exactly sensitive when it comes to stuff like this.”

“Fuck off, I can be sensitive,” Mitch snaps. “I mean- Not that I’d- ... It’s better if someone goes with her and last I checked, you’re supposed to be on watch with Aasim right now. And don’t you have a plan to share, too?”

Ruby hesitates, turning to Clementine with concern. 

Clementine can see why Mitch tagging along wouldn’t be ideal, but she had to admit that having a backup would make her feel a little bit better. Even if he merely escorted her to Violet’s room or made it known that he was only there to keep things from escalating to a boiling point- which, again, Mitch isn’t the ideal candidate for this role- it’d make her feel better.  

Then again, Violet might be doubly pissed to see Mitch, as well.  If there’s anyone she despises as much as Clementine, it’s Mitch.

“You don’t have to-” Clementine starts, only to have him raise his hand. 

“Yeah, I don’t have to do anything,” he frowns. “But, I’m gonna anyway.”

That gets a smile out of her. 

“And you won’t threaten her?”

He stares, then lowers his head in defeat. 

“I won’t say nothin’ unless I gotta.” Then, he turns to Willy. “You okay to clean this place up yourself?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Willy smiles.

“Well, ehm, guess I’ll get Aasim and James and tell ‘em ‘bout the plan,” says Ruby. “Vi should be in her room. She usually turns in early when she doesn’t have watch.”

Before leaving, Ruby turns to Mitch with one final warning, “Be nice.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The feeling’s back, twisting in Clementine’s gut and accelerating her heart.

With that, they leave the basement.

---

The music room is filthy. 

Usually, Louis doesn’t notice or even pay much attention to the cleanliness of any room within the school due to the fact this everywhere is dirty. It doesn’t matter how much Ruby pushes or how many times Aasim scolds them for leaving messes wherever they go, the school will never match the cleanly standards it had prior to the end of the world. 

They have more important things to think about anyway, right?

Or maybe they just can’t be bothered. 

Perhaps both. 

But when he sat at the piano, fingers playing the keys he knew by heart, he noticed a thick layer of dust settled on the worn wood.

Swiping a finger across the top left him absolutely disgusted. To be honest, he can’t remember the last time he actually cleaned the piano, but given that the layer of dust is thick enough to make actual dust bunnies out of, it’s been a while. 

In fact, the music room is kind of a disaster. 

And he needs a better distraction anyway.

Sorting through the records he kept, he picks a classic record to play at random and gets to work. 

Within an hour, he’s already filled an old cardboard box with the trash that once occupied the floor, the tables, and everywhere else that garbage built up over years. Old soda cans, soiled books, broken shards of glass by the windows- all gone. 

Louis wipes down the piano with an old T-shirt he oddly found beneath the couch. Pictures from what looks to be a pirate comic fill the front of the shirt and for the life of him, he can’t remember whose shirt this is. Or was. 

He knows he’s seen it before, knows someone wore it… someone not around anymore.

Shit. 

Nevermind, he doesn’t want to think about that right now. Pushing that thought out of mind, he continues wiping away the dust. While the piano would always be worn, defaced, and out of tune, he still loved it and should remember to keep better care of it. 

So many memories were made sitting here. 

Most good, some bad. 

Memories of him sitting there with clumsy fingers, young and untrained, awaiting his cue from Minnie as she finished jotting down lyrics to their song. 

“Nevermind the darkness, nevermind the storm-”

Memories of him entertaining Tenn when he was scared of a thunderstorm, or playing something silly to make Violet smile. 

Memories of him and Clementine the night of the delta attack. 

“You are super cute.”

“Cute? Wow, uhm-”

Their first kiss. 

Louis runs his finger over their initials encased in a heart, carved by Clementine’s own hand that night right before he opened up to her, thanked her for being with him despite… well, everything. 

God, it seems so far away. 

Since then, more memories have festered within these walls, here at the piano.

“For once, I don’t think you’ve thought this through.”

“Why?”

Satisfied with his work, Louis tosses the shirt away. He slips off his jacket, setting it over the arm of the couch before placing himself comfortably at the piano once more. 

“First of all, it’s going to take us a million years to build all nine-hundred floors. Second, we’re going to need so much paint, and even with all of us helping, it’s going to take us two million years to paint it all! Third, nine-hundred floors means-”

“Nine-hundred and fourteen.”

A deep breath. 

“Excuse me, nine-hundred and fourteen floors means this house is going to be high up in the stars- literally in space!- and you yourself said that you hate climbing stairs. Do you know how many sets of stairs we’re going to need to make it to the top?”

“We’ll have an elevator.”

“That goes through the whole place?”

“Yep. Up, down, and sideways.”

“That’s ridiculous. I love it.”

Eyes close. 

Clementine laughs, pushing against his shoulder as he shakes his head. Whether his chuckle is due to the madness of Clementine’s floor plan, or because her fingers continue to purposely play the wrong keys, he doesn’t know anymore. 

“Then, what about a slide?” she suggests. “A big metal slide that loops around and brings you from top to bottom in seconds.”

“I like it, I like it,” he ponders, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Except, that won’t help us in actually getting to the top.” 

The cool air blows in through the open window, flickering the flames of his candles and kissing the warmth of his cheeks. 

“What’ll be at the top, anyway?” she asks. “What’ll be worth climbing all those stairs to see?” 

“I don’t know, but it has to be something special.” He thinks about it for a moment. “What do you want?”

“Me?” she asks.

Pulling her hand off the keys, holding it in his own, he asks, “What do you want at the top?”

Another deep breath. 

“I don’t know.”

“C’mon, Clem,” Louis urges. “Anything you want. Name it.” 

She stares down at their linked hand, eyes drift shut as she thinks. 

“Well… we have to have that skylight, right?”

“Obviously, but that’s something I wanted, remember?” 

“Well, I want one, too. If we’re going to be up in space, I want to see it. Imagine seeing the moon that up close.”

“Maybe we’ll have aliens tapping on our roof.”

“I hope so.” 

He kisses her forehead, then her cheek, whispering in her ear, “What do you really want, Clementine?”

Louis’ fingers move effortlessly. 

His soft lullaby fills the air. 

“A tree,” she says firmly. “An apple tree with bright red Honeycrisps, right in the corner, and it’s roots throughout the floor, and-” she grabs his hand, comparing it to hers by pressing their palms together, “- a piano in the center. Any kind you want.”

Their fingers lace together.

“A glossy, grand piano. Mahogany- the color of leaves in autumn,” he brushes a curl from her face, “unbreakable and always in tune.” 

“And you’ll teach me to play?”

“You willing to climb nine-hundred and fourteen floors every day for your lessons?”

“Of course.”

It’s been a long time since he’s thought of their home- rather, their outrageous dream house that was inspired by the depressing story of how his own parents didn’t get to finish building their new home. 

A royal purple, nine-hundred and fourteen floor mansion with a treehouse, a skylight, and an apple tree growing on the top floor. Several pools, movie theatres, pizza parlors, bedrooms, bathrooms with hot tubs and full body showers, aquariums, roller parks- and even with all those things, they still have plenty of room left. 

Louis knows the possibility of that mansion coming to fruition is lower than low, they both know that, but it doesn’t make it any less fun to imagine.

How many nights did they stay up in bed discussing what kind of statue they wanted for the fountain, or what shade of purple they’d paint their bedroom, or how many dogs they would adopt, or if they were going to make Mitch sleep in the treehouse rather than giving him his own room? 

Louis stops playing, chuckling to himself. 

It’s been a long time since he’s played by himself happily, or since he’s thought of composing a brand new song. Usually, when he’s down here so late by himself, it’s to calm down after an all-consuming nightmare-

No.

Don’t think about that. 

Don’t think about that.

Don’t think. 

“An apple tree with bright red Honeycrisps, right in the corner, and it’s roots throughout the floor...”

Maybe he can’t build Clementine an outrageous purple mansion, but he can write her a new song.  

As Louis becomes lost in the music, a brief thought runs through his mind.

Finally... a nice night.

[xianmudelaozu]

*; OOC » SO I was rewatching the animation with my best friend while staying at her place bc my electricity was down and because I hate leaving things unfinished and also bc I was maybe trying to refresh my memory a bit for oc development reasons I continued watching where we left off.......

AND I COULDNT HELP BUT PULL OUT MY CALCULATOR AGAIN! Join me on Age/Timeline calculator road! (or skip to the bottom to read what I have come up with)

So, referencing this post of mine, we are safe to assume “it’s Year 25 when the Yiling Patriarch died. He’s been dead for 13 years which makes it the Year 38.” Easy as that. Basic Math, am I right? Cool, moving on.

Now, what I know is, that JC and WWX were about 15 when studying at Gusu, right? The study was supposed to last a year (it did for JC, but WWX got kicked out) which means JC was 16 when he returned from Gusu. At a certain flashback we hear Madam Yu’s voice claiming the boys are 16 and 17, and knowing WWX is older, it’s safe to assume it was after JC returned to Lotus Pier from Gusu. 

Then, the Archery contest, thing... stuff you know Discussion Conference happened shortly after, followed by Wen Chao feeling humiliated and the Wen Clan destroying several clans, including the burning of Gusu’s Cloud Recess and the uhm.... recruitment of the other Clan’s students and them having to turn in their swords yadda yadda.

It is save to assume there wasn’t too much time in between those happening, let it be a month maybe, but JC and WW were still 16/17 respectively. So, they get pushed around by Wen Chao, find the turtle, rest 3 days, kill the turtle, recover 7 days (?) all in the same year. We also know WWX was younger than 20 as commented by JC that he killed such a wild beast before reaching adulthood (Age 20)

Madam Yu and JFM get into a fight. JFM leaves assumed for several days, (since Yanli is there when WWX wakes up but is stated to ‘have left 2 days ago’ the night the Wen’s attack). Lotus Pier fell in a single night, meaning that was a quick defeat.

It takes Lan Xichen several months (as stated by his uncle at his return to Gusu) to gather the clans for their cause.  I guess it’s save to assume (since MXTX is like fuck timelines) That there possibly is a span of two or three months between attack on Gusu and the attack on Lotus Pier given the above statement.

WWX and JC wander for a few days before returning to Lotus Pier, where they stay for 5 days until Wen Chao’s returns. It is not stated how long it takes them to get to Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, but I’m assuming a few weeks. It is then that WWX gets attacked and thrown into the Burial Mounds.

I say, this might have all spiraled down in the span of a year, give or take a few months.

Fast forward to Sunshot Campaign starts. It is said their first attempt to take the Nightless City was unsuccessful which is why they split up and started smaller territorial battles. Now, War aint done in just a few weeks, so I guess it took a while. H O W E V E R, when Wen Chao attacks Chongyang he taunts JC and LWJ by saying he threw WWX into Burial Mounds a few days ago, so maybe it’s only been a week or two since the Sunshot Campaign started. Or Wen Chao is just a prick yknow. 

EDIT 1: I forgot, the Sunshot Campaign is said to have been taken 10 days, or rather that the Clans fought the Wen for 10 days in total, so I guess that fixes that. If we say Wen Chao threw WWX into the mountain “a few days ago”, however long that was, WWX joined somewhere in the middle of those 10 days.

EDIT 2: Season 2 literally starts with the Nightless City being stormed in Year 23 and it is said to have lasted several weeks and ends with the Fall of Wen Rouhan.

WWX joining JC back when returning to Lotus Pier. The animation flashes ‘back’ to current times after his awakening titled “16 years later” --- he died 13 years ago. So he’s been acting as the Yiling Patriarch for 3 years before he died. that is safe to assume. Also fits with Sizhui being 3 years old when he was found by LWJ after WWX died.

What else we know is that Jing Ling is 15 (edit: at the end of the story! in the beginning he’s 14, close to 15 I believe) and Sizhui is 16. which means there is a roughly 2 year gap between the bloodbath of Nightless City and the Siege of Burial Mounts where WWX died in Year 25.

EDIT 3: It is questionable if the Sunshot Campaign really lasted about a year, but we have two different time stamps. One, with the Animation showing us Wei Wuxian being thrown into Burial Mounds and rejoining JC and JYL in Lotus Pier being 16 years before his resurrection, and another with S2 opening saying The Nightless City/Wen Rouhan fell in the year 23 in a battle that lasted several weeks. 

Then again, we are told the Clans fought the Wen for 10 days which is just confusing the fuck out of me not gonna lie. How I understand it, the 10 Days/Several weeks are probably referencing the same period of time and refer to ONLY the battle of the Nightless City where Wen Rouhan fell and not the whole Sunshot Campaign. That would definitely make more sense anyway. 

So we have Year 22 with the start and year 23 with the end of the Sunshot Campaign, leaving 2 more years until WWX’s death. We know the Lanling Jin Sect enslaved the remaining Wen in the same year. (S2, EP15 mentions those events to be 15 years ago. 38-15=23). Notable things WWX did in those two years are, resurrecting Wen Ning, taking in the remnants of the Wen, punching Jiang Cheng in the face leaving the Yungmeng Jiang Sect, awakening Wen Ning’s consciousness.

The Animation notes that “the issue” at Qiongqi Path took place “one year later”. Since Jin Ling was born in November and WWX was on his way to the one month birthday anniversary, I think it is just referring to “the next year” and not directly a year later, unless of course you take into consideration Jin Ling was still 14 at the beginning of the story (which I assumed was just bc he has a late birthday in November) but he might actually been born in Year 24! Tho the evidence suggests it is at the end of Year 24 (specifically December since JL was born in November and aged 1 month) that WWX and Wen Ning are on their way to the 1-Month-Banquet and WWX loses control and kills JZX..

Edit 4: It’s later referred to again that ‘the person [that cast the curse on JZX1] has reappeared after 14 years”, so it is save to say Jin Ling was born in November of Year 24 and his father died a month later in December. Since WWX died in the Year 25 it is safe to assume, with everything taking place at the end of Year 24, he died very early in the Year 25, most likely still in January. That is, however, like most of the rambling I put in here, purely speculation and assumptions. Tho I do believe it is closer to being accurate than my first half assed attempted at trying to figure out the timeline.

That concludes the timeline/years of Mo Dao Zu Shi so far as I can tell up to the beginning of the story!

Regarding the matter of Xue Yang and XXC, I have the following theorie which is mostly just speculation and assumptions! Feel free to hash it out more or get inspired by it if you will.

NHS mentions that about 11 years prior (of the current year) the trouble at the stone castles began, which was shortly after he was appointed sect leader because Nie Mingjue died. That leads to assume NMJ died in the year 26 or 27. 

Xue Yang was imprisoned after WWX died and NMJ was still alive, so around year 25-26 (if we assume WWX died very early in January year 25 as mentioned above). Xue Yang was released AFTER NMJ died, probably in the same year (26-27) and then went on to get his revenge on Baixue Temple before returning to Lanling Jin Sect. 

He helped JGY to plot JGS's death and once that succeeded, he was captured and abused before released/escaping prison. Then, XXC and AQing found him. If we assume, this all happened until Year 27. 

During Year 27, he probably recovered from his injuries. We do not know how many years Xue Yang stayed with XXC, but it was at least 2 because he mentioned going night hunting with XXC 'two years ago', but given the fact his injuries needed to heal for several months I personally think he spend a year recovering and then started night hunting with XXC and stayed for the aforementioned two years = a total of 3 years

That would make it Year 30 - 8 years prior to WWX's resurrection - when he is found out and fights XXC and collects his shattered soul, as well as killing A-Qing

SO the only year we are explicitly given is the Year 25 when the Yiling Patriarch died and Year 23 when the Sunshot Campaign ended/Wen Rouhan died. Going from there, this is all speculations of timelines/ages unless we know the year/gap we’re given

* the happenings concerning Xue Yang, Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing are PURELY speculation on my part!

YEAR 20 - JC and WWX study at Gusu 

(JC Age 15, WWX Age 16)

YEAR 21 - JC returns from his 1 year trip to Gusu 

(JC: 16/ WWX: 17)

LATE YEAR 21 - EARLY YEAR 22 - Archery Competition/Discussion Conference in the Nightless City. Destruction of Cloud Recess, abduction of the Students by the Wen, death of the turtle. 

(JC about 17, WWX 18)

(- 16 years) YEAR 22 - Start of the Sunshot Campaign. WWX becomes the Yiling Patriarch/Develops Demonic Cultivation 

(JC: 17, WWX: 18) // Sizhui is born (just for reference) My heart bleeds imagining JC was just sweet 17 hot damn

(-15 years) YEAR 23 - END of the Sunshot Campaign / Death of Wen Rouhan (confirmed in S2 EP1 of the Animation), Death of Wen Ning/Resurrection as the Ghost General (S2 EP5) | JYL & JZX get married

( -14 years) LATE YEAR 24 - Jin Ling is born in November, about a month later, JZX dies on Qingqi Path / Wen Qing & Wen Ning’s execution and Bloodbath of Nightless City / JYL dies.  

(JC: 18/19, WWX: 19/20) 

Beginning of YEAR 25 - Siege of the Burial Mounds - WWX dies 

(JC: 20, WWX: 21 (deceased) | Jin Ling: 1, Sizhui: 3)

YEAR 25-26 - Massacre of Yueyang Chang Sect / Imprisonment of Xue Yang one month later -  Nie Mingjue insulting Jin Guangyao

(Speculated Age for Xiao Xingchen 17-18, Song Lan: 17-18, Xue Yang: 15-16)

YEAR 26-27 - Trouble in Nie Sect Stone Castles / Speculated death of Nie Mingjue / Release of Xue Yang / Baixue Temple Masacre /  Assumed Death of Jin Guangshan / JGY abusing XY / XY escaping prison / XXC and A-Qing finding XY in the streets

(JC: 22, WWX: Deceased | Jin Ling: 3, Sizhui: 5)

(Speculated Age for Xiao Xingchen 18, Song Lan: 18, Xue Yang: 15-16)

YEAR 28 - Xue Yang and XXC start night hunting together

YEAR 30 - Song Lan confronts Xue Yang, dies / XXC confronts Xue Yang, dies / Xue Yang kills A-Qing / Xue Yang spends 8 years trying to piece XXC’s shattered soul back together

(Speculated Age for Xiao Xingchen 22/23, Song Lan: 22/23, Xue Yang: 20)

(+13 years) YEAR 38 - WWX gets resurrected 

(JC: 33 / WWX techincally 34 | JL: 14/15, LSZ: 16)

(Speculated Age for Xiao Xingchen 30/31, Song Lan: 30/31, Xue Yang: 28)

[lady-of-lies]

King of your heart

A/N: Just one more prompt and I’m back on track!! This is just a cute little blurb written in all haste and as all the other fics I’ve posted lately it’s not at all edited, but I hope someone finds joy between the words

Prompt: “This isn’t working, is it?”

Word count: 949

Warnings: None at all!

Loki Laufeyson x reader

It was finally here! The most wonderful time of the year had finally arrived!, yeah, right, what a load of crap that was. This part of the year has not been any different from the rest besides that it now is freezing cold and you need a million layers of clothing just to step out the door. Still, you prefer this weather to the inhuman heat waves washing in on the country every summer, in your own words ‘it was hot enough to get everyone roasted’, a pun that, mind you, against popular belief had been very well received. 

Even if there were a lot of things with this holiday season causing you more problems than enjoyment, there is one thing that will bring a smile to your lips every time. Figure skating, or just skating in general, if there's ice involved you were in, simple as that. When a certain god sauntered in to your life, quite literally, you didn’t know of his chilly heritage. You had found out by accident one time during the cursed summertime a few months ago, and ever since you had loved him even more. It must have been fate, if there was such a thing out there, that is.

You had been laying the groundwork for the past few weeks now, you had been sucking up to him left and right, being overly sweet, baking him those cookies he loves so much despite them being a ‘midgardian miniature’ of whatever cookies they had back in his beloved Asgardian palace. Dating a literal prince had its pros and cons, mostly pros, but when it came to normal everyday chores such as laundry or cooking he was hopeless. But you loved him nevertheless. You wanted him to come ice skating with you tomorrow, you wanted to show him the only holiday activity worth trying. It would have been an easy feat if he wasn’t as stubborn  as a donkey’s backside.

You approached him with caution, much like you would a scared animal. He sat in his usual spot by the window, feet propped up on a nearby table, a book in his lap lazily kept in place with two fingers and head relaxing against a Christmas pillow. Moreover, that pillow is one of the few Christmas decorations you allowed into your home, it reflected you holiday spirit perfectly, and quite frankly summed up Loki’s entire character in two simple words “Oh deer”. Both funny and useful, the perfect combination.

You stood still, silently watching him for a while, contemplating if this really was a good idea. Your nerves were all on edge and you made a mental note to never wear a shirt with cufflinks when trying to ask important questions. It was now or never. You had to get it out before you changed your mind and just walked away again. You started with a careful yet noticeable clearing of your throat to catch his attention. He didn’t look up from the old pages of parchment but you knew he was listening to you thanks to the slight rising of his right eyebrow.

“Loki, I was uh… I was wondering… If you, might, you don’t have to by any means, but it would make me very happy if yo-”

You had started to word vomit. Great. And you would have continued on with that if you hadn’t been stopped by a curious gaze sent your way accompanied with a loud thud as the book that he had previously been reading snapped shut. His feet were no longer resting on the table and his very regal, and to be honest, somewhat degrading position, told you that you now had his full attention. 

“You’re stalling, my dear. What is it?”

It was a simple sentence, yet he managed to calm you down with so little. It amazed you what effects he had on you, but right now there was no time for such thoughts right now, you had a mission to accomplish. At least that’s what you kept on telling yourself. 

“I just.. uhm… wanted to ask you if you wanted to come skating with me tomorrow?”

For a minute there you thought you’d just rambled on in front of a statue or something with how still he had become. He had clearly not expected that to be the ‘very important thing’ you wanted to ask him before. The clock ticked on and on and he didn’t move a muscle. Not. A. One. Maybe you broke him? He didn’t even blink for a solid three minutes before the silence finally got to you and you, once again, started to ramble in a futile attempt to save the situation.

“This isn’t working, is it? I tried to ask nicely, maybe I shouldn't have said anything, I will just go by myself tomorrow, really, there’s no problem at all I’ll eve-”

“Will you stop talking for a second, pet? I may have been surprised by your proposition at first, but seeing as it means so much to you I’ll gladly accompany you to this ‘ice skating’ thing you talk so fondly about.”

Now that was a welcomed surprise, not like last year when you got stuck up a turkey’s ass, but that’s a story for another time. Tomorrow you would get to show loki the real reason why you adored ice as much s you did, and who knows, maybe he will come to share this love with time. You just couldn’t wait for him to realize he was a king already. He was the king of your heart.

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[traumatizedtm]

PODCAST EPISODES

        Beyond the Falls Anniversary Special: The First Ever Episode

A crystal clear audio plays that is noticeable as the theme for Beyond The Unusual plays and there is a soft fade before light laughter comes into the audio. “Well, hey guys happy Wednesday. So, to save you all from the hell of reading another fan fiction I decided to server you up something nice.” There was a small and annoyed noise from Vinnie and a soft chuckle from Jude. “If you couldn’t tell, that was me flipping off Vinnie for once again being disappointed. However, this is something they haven’t heard yet so you are all going to hear this for the first time right beside Vinnie and Jude. Of course I will edit in their reactions at the end but you guys are gonna get the full audio before that. Since today is a very special day and the anniversary of the three of us officially working together I thought it would be cute to play the almost first episode. So I hope you guys enjoy and don’t forget to stay at the end to hear what the boys think.” There is soft laughter followed by a kicking sound as suddenly the audio clicks and changes to something else.

“Uhm--- Yeah, okay cool. Great oh my god it’s working. Oh dang, uh welcome to Investigations in The Strange and Unusual.” There was a pause, it was long and awkward it felt almost suffocating as if the anxiety that was radiating off of Mallory was seeping into whoever was listening. It was clear this was a first draft, a rough draft at that but what else could be expected from someones first attempt at a podcast. “So I need to be honest, I am probably never publishing this. I am probably gonna just focus on college but I needed something.” There is an uncomfortable laugh after these words followed by a sigh. Her head tilted down and there was a light drum on the table, listeners would later be familiar with this being one of the many anxiety coping mechanisms Mal had. “This first episode, I have other notes for but I needed to sit down and just try to record something. I wanted to---- I don’t know I guess explain this and myself and who I am before I got to involved. So yeah, you know what I am gonna do that.” Another soft background noise of a marker against a piece of paper, it was crisp and clear a little short. Another thing listeners would later come to know about Mallory. The extensive listing and researching that bordered on OCD level. A long pause is in the audio followed by a soft inhale and gentle exhale.

“My name is Mallory Evers I am twenty-two years old and today is the 13th anniversary of-” Another cut off with a small breathe another set of soft tapping while she spoke. “Of, the my parents and brothers murders. I know that is kind of weird and a bad opener but I need to just find something, anything to tell me if what happened, where they are is more than just an empty void.” There is another long silence filled with a gentle clink of a straw that is being sipped with a soft fizz. A carbonated drink gently filling the ears of anyone listening and a small ping. “Oh-- oops sorry, god this is so amature. Note to self put this in the fucking trash can. Anyways, since frankly I don’t have any friends, or anyone who really would care to do any of this or help me find any sort of closure to questions I want I am turning to this. It is a stupid idea and it isn’t going to work but I can try right. I want to focus on my town, Barren Falls and not just hoping that my family is maybe alive somewhere but everything. Strange and Unusual things that happen in this place or just anything. I want to find answers to what isn’t answered you know?” With another hesitation a gentle rustling takes the place of Mallory’s voice before she lightly clears her throat.

“ To be honest, I am struggling a lot right now, everything that has happened to me is really weighing heavy and I frankly feel really alone. I don’t know what I am gonna do if it keeps doing this, and I am starting to feel depersonalization come out a lot. I kind of just feel like I am looking in on someone else living my life and going through the motions. I have always kind of been on my own and I really don’t have any friends. My apartment is really a mess and I just feel empty. I suppose the reason I am doing this is to get rid of that and focus on something, maybe just I don’t know feel a connection to something. I am tired and just want to not feel lonely. I doubt this will get listeners and I doubt I will do more than maybe a weeks worth of episodes but I am hoping someone listens, and that they want to be here and experience things with me. I just----- I don’t want to be alone anymore. Is it dumb to think a podcast is gonna not make me feel like that? Oh my god, it is, jesus trash this. Future self throw this off a fucking cliff. I am---” There was another ping, quickly followed by another and another before an annoyed sigh filled the air.

“Okay this is just- oh.” A small giggle that felt like a warm summer day filled the audio at this point. “Right, so uhm I actually have people that I know. I don’t really know what I am to either of them but I care about them both a lot. I grew up with one of them actually. It’s really stupid we went to high school together and I actually had to tutor him but uh, he still talks to me which is funny considering I am like literally the most boring person on the planet and he could probably own his own island. But he is absolutely incredible, his smile it just---- it makes everyone feel warm inside and like they could be more you know. I don’t know I just, I am glad he talks to me is what I mean. Who wouldn’t be, aside from being really funny and super fun he is just, he feels real to me. My dad would’ve loved him, well after he got past the facade of course.” There was laughter at that followed by a small cringe. 

“Great, I just laughed at myself, that’s yeah yep. Anyways, there is of course, my newest person. He is different from the other but like not in a bad way you know. He is kind of like me I think, we both kind of just exist and carry a lot. But we try, I don’t know what we try, to be people I guess, to just take everything one day at a time but he is kind. He--- uhm--- he reminds me of maybe what my brother would be like. I don’t know I just sit with him and I feel like i have known him since I was really young and like we are family. I think, I don’t really--” There was a small hesitation as a light sniffle and rustle were hear from the gentle wiping of tears. This was all punctuated by the slight cracking of her voice when she started to talk again. “I don’t really remember what it likes to feel like that so I think that what I feel with him is that but I can’t be sure. And I guess they both remind me of why I am doing this. Because as much as I want to answer the unanswered like the murders, I just want people, a family of my own again. Because I am just I am so lost and I hate it and myself so much because of it. But not with them, and hopefully not with this because I want to be friends with them both so bad for so long. And this--- I don’t know about this yet but I want it. I want to be able to help people like me because if I can do it, with everything that happened to me, and that happens here maybe it can you know, help other people.” At this point the all too familiar crying words often spoken on the show are breaking through. 

“This isn’t going to go anywhere, nothing I do does because its me but uh I guess this is okay for a first draft and try. Future self you better delete this in case you leave it open and Vinnie comes over, or god forbid you and Jude get wine drunk together and watch B Movies and he opens this. Oh my god wait---- Okay yeah delete this before Vinnie hears it because he is gonna know you have a massive crush on him, and Jude is gonna think you are weird as hell. We have hung out like twice and I am out here acting like he is my brother. Oh my god. Yeah I am done. I am never doing this again. I am so dumb.”

There is a small interlude of music followed by a light sponsorship and then another interlude of music. “Well, that was a very short but uh-- loaded clip there guys but---” Mallory’s voice was cut off with a light teasing of how she looks like a tomato. “Oh my god shut up! I am just embarrassed okay! I literally outed myself for liking Vinnie in the first episode and now you know---- oh right uhm I am doing the hand motion thing, you know the one I always do at conventions when looking for words.” More laughter from the boys followed by an exasperated sigh from Mallory. “Alright can it, I am being bullied and this is supposed to be the fun podcast not the one I cry in. But, I think this proves that even when I thought things wouldn’t work out they did. I mean---- look at us now. Jude we live together, I am pretty sure people think we are legally related and that’s nice.” There is a small smile and an exchange that sounds like a light hug between the pair with a delicate tapping of the mic. “And I mean I guess Vinnie is here too and that’s alright.” A small chuckle from Mallory this time. “I meant it though, I still think all of that and I absolutely could not be happier. I love you. And I wanted to do this because I think another thing we should be talking about here is vulnerability. Which, is what it is time for you two to show now as well. What did you think about that, or when I asked you to join me, or even when we met how did you feel about me, about the podcast and about potentially our relationships personally and professionally moving forward?”

[displacedhobbit]

Update: Greater Than Gold

AN – Uhm, so, yea. Quarantine has been a good time for me to sit down and write, so here we are. I started this story about 8 years ago. It’s drifted in and out of my thoughts pretty regularly in that time. In my absence, I’ve been scribbling down thoughts, moments, plots. I can honestly say the story is mostly finished, it’s just a matter of editing and figuring out what I want to include and reordering events to make them chronologically correct(ish).

Anyway, I fully expect that most people who have been following this story are long gone, have moved on to different fandoms, and forgotten my words. I just want to see it through.

This chapter takes us part way through the quest, to Rivendell. There will be at least one more chapter before the conclusion. And probably two endings, haha.

Warnings: Violence, some swearing.

Also on FF.net and AO3

Chapter 25: Eighty-Two and Seventy-Seven - Part 1

Word Count (chapter): 8035

It’s time.

He scans the room once more, ensuring that everything he will need for his journey has been packed. He’d made list after list and double-checked them all. He was prepared, he was ready , but he drew little comfort from that knowledge. As Dwalin had reminded him, there were no guarantees in the wild. He hurriedly paces his bedroom, scouring it for anything that he may have missed as worry claws at him.

It was time .

Not so long ago, he’d accepted that this day would never come, that Erebor would be lost to him forever. And now, now he was ready to walk out of the doors of the home he’d built in the Ered Luin, likely never to return. So much of his own blood, sweat, and tears had gone into establishing this home for his people. Nostalgia fills him; this was where he had raised his boys. There are thousands of memories here, most of them good, but the bad ones that clung around the halls like ghosts, catching him off guard when he least expected it, reminding him of all that had been lost.

But still, while he was proud of the life he had created for his people here, from practically nothing, he longed to bring them home . To let those who had fled Erebor with him walk among the halls once more. To let the children who’d only heard of it in stories gape wide-eyed at their homeland. To let them, all of them, know safety and security and belonging after being cast out and forgotten for so long. To let the stories or Erebor become real for Durin’s Folk once again.

There’s a soft knock at the door. “Come in,” he calls, calming his pacing and busying himself with checking his bags one last time.

“Dwalin just arrived,” Kíli says quietly, taking in his uncle’s somber mood. He looks nervous, and Thorin can hardly fault him. This would take his boys far from the only home they’d ever known, across the expanse of Middle Earth to a home they’d only longed for because of him .

“Come here,” Thorin requests, and his youngest nephew crosses the room with haste. He immediately pulls him into a tight embrace, feels the tension in his youngest nephew’s back. “It is time, isn’t it?”

He feels Kíli nod against his shoulder as the lad tightens his grip on him. “Be careful,” he murmurs. Though his tone is soft, it is stern, and Thorin knows that his words are a command, not a request.

Thorin kisses his temple, squeezing him one last time before releasing him. “Come. We must not keep your brother and Dwalin waiting,” he says, reaching for his bags. Kíli grabs one of them, carrying it with him as they leave the room. Thorin holds back, casting one last glance around, before following Kíli to the living room where Dwalin and Fíli are quietly conversing.

“Ready to go?” Dwalin asks cheerfully, clapping a hand on Fíli’s shoulder. Thorin can tell that he’s deliberately keeping the mood light to brighten his spirits, and he is grateful for it. His heart has longed for Erebor since the day the wretched dragon came, but even he cannot deny that parts of Ered Luin will always feel like home. It still feels impossibly hard to leave.

“Aye,” he murmurs. “Should be able to make good time with this early of a start.” He looks to Fíli. “Come here, lad,” he calls, and wraps his heir into a tight embrace.

Fíli heaves a sigh as he hugs him closer still. “Please be careful,” he echoes his brother’s words.

“I will,” he promises, dropping a quick kiss to his forehead as he shifts to hold him out at arm’s length. “Take care of each other,” he says, regarding Kíli as well. “I will see you in Bree.” He pulls Fíli back into another embrace, reaching for Kíli as well.

He holds both of his boys tight, breathing with them to calm his nerves. He refuses to entertain the possibility that this will be the last time he sees them. “I love you both,” he murmurs, throat tight at the admission. It isn’t often that he voices his affection for the lads, and he feels both of them hug him tighter at his words.

“And I love this whole sorry lot,” Dwalin confesses as he joins in, wrapping a bone crushing embrace around the three of them. Kíli lets out a rough laugh, one that shows just how tight with emotion his throat has become, and Thorin feels his heart lurch as he desperately squashes the dark visions creep into his mind again.

Dwalin gives another squeeze before pulling away. “Alright, lads, we’ve got to be off now.” Thorin is fairly certain he sees the glimmer of a tear in his old friend’s eye and knows that it pains Dwalin just as much as it does him to leave.

“Two weeks,” Thorin says as they separate. “Oin and Gloin will be ahead of you; they’ll send word if there are any signs of trouble. Bofur, Bifur, and Bombur will be three days behind you.” Thorin adjusts his hold on his pack, before reaching for the bag Kíli had carried into for him earlier. “Be careful, lads,” he all but whispers, reaching for his nephews once more to touch his forehead to each of theirs. “We will see you in Bree.” If his voice cracks, none of them comment on it.

“Good luck,” Kíli says, his voice coming out overly loud in their otherwise stiflingly quiet home, and though he has put on a brave face, Thorin can see how his eyes are watering. A glance toward Fíli shows that he does not fare much better.

“Stay safe, lads,” Dwalin says, speaking when Thorin finds himself unable to due to the lump that has lodged itself in his throat. He claps a hand on both of the boy’s shoulders, squeezing them gently as he does. “We’ll see you soon.”

No one is able to find any more words as Thorin and Dwalin finish preparing to leave. They pause for one more round of embraces, and no one comments on the mistiness of all of their eyes.

Without a sound, Thorin and Dwalin depart the dwelling, with Fíli and Kíli trailing behind them, heading through the still halls in the early morning. Being up before most of the settlement makes their journey quicker than normal, and soon they reach the mouth of Thorin’s Halls, where the early dawn light slips through the open gates.

Thorin turns to regard his nephews once more, taking in their faces and committing them to memory, just in case. Surprisingly, it is Fíli who blinks out a tear, so Thorin reaches for him first, curling his fingers around the back of his neck and knocking their foreheads together with a tenderness he was sure he had lost in the last few years. From the corner of his eye, he sees Dwalin do the same to Kíli, and once he is ready he breaks his embrace with his eldest to trade places. When they part, Kíli gives him a brave, albeit shaky, smile, and Thorin feels a wave of emotion wash over him.

He doesn’t deserve these boys. He doesn’t deserve their love, he knows, but he cherishes it all the same.

“We will see you in Bree,” he says once more with a steady voice, willing himself to believe it. This part of the journey makes him anxious, when they will all be setting out at different times, following different paths before reaching the main road…he will not be able to protect them in the wilds, but he trusts that their training is enough to keep them safe.

He will rest easier once they are all reunited.

As he and Dwalin turn to greet the misty morning, he doesn’t dare look back to the gate. He keeps his gaze forward, on to the port at the Gray Havens where he will meet with Dain’s men, then to Bree to reconvene with the company, then to Erebor. He mustn’t look back; not now. He’s come too far for that.

His eyes are fixed on home .

------

It doesn’t take long for them to set up camp for the night; he and Kíli are well practiced at it. But his brother is unusually fidgety and cautious, his eyes keep flitting toward the tree line as if the darkness itself is going to creep into their campsite. While Fíli has removed his scabbards and set his swords to the side for the night, Kíli’s bow stays slung on his shoulder, and though his brother has laid his sword down, his hunting knife is still tucked into his waistband.

The camping is familiar; they’ve done it dozens, if not hundreds of times before on hunting trips. The setting is not . Kíli has never been this far from home, far enough that the Blue Mountains sit on the horizon and the trees are becoming sparser every day, giving way to rolling fields of tall, tall grasses. Thorin has taken Fíli on enough trips that the road feels almost comfortable for him, but Kíli is all jittery and full of nervous energy. With every day it gets slightly worse, and Fíli hopes that once they reunite with Thorin and the rest of the company that he’ll settle down.

“Should only be a few more days until we get to Shire,” Fíli murmurs, stretching his arms behind his back as he speaks. “And then maybe two more days to Bree. I can’t wait to have a soft pillow under my head again.”

Kíli makes noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, eyes still scanning the edge of the forest.

“Hey,” he calls again, waiting until his brother’s gaze turns to him instead. “Come here.” He pats the ground next to him. “Boots off. Feet by the fire. Relax. I mean it,” he adds when Kíli very nearly rolls his eyes at him.

Kíli settles in by his side, pressed too close as always, but Fíli takes advantage of this position to sneak his bow off his shoulder. Kíli shoots him a look, but just sighs and unbuckles his quiver and lays it next to his bow. He looks tired. Fíli wraps his arm around his shoulder, smiling when his brother instinctively lays his head down on his shoulder. “Maybe we’ll even have an ale or two,” Kíli murmurs sleepily, and Fíli’s smile pulls even wider.

“I mean no offence to Mister Bombur, but the ale in Bree is much better than his,” he says, chuckling at Kíli’s feigned gasp of disbelief.

“Traitor,” he teases, “I’ll tell him. He’ll only have you drink the skunked ale from here on out.”

Fíli chuckles at him. “You wouldn’t. I’d bring you down with me,” he promises.

Suddenly, Kíli’s head snaps up from his shoulder, and his dark eyes focus on the edge of the clearing. His hands reach instinctively for his bow, fumbling for a moment before he finds where Fíli set it down.

“What’s wrong?” Fíli whispers, but is immediately hushed by his brother. Then he hears it, too, the soft crunching of underbrush in the distance.

Someone is coming.

Fíli immediately reaches for his scabbard and pulls his sword free, eyes intently watching his brother. Kíli has always been able to see better at night than him, better at using his senses to locate prey moving stealthily through the woods, so he knows it is best to follow his lead.

Silently, Kíli pulls an arrow and nocks it in his bow. The sound of snapping branches gets louder. Whoever is encroaching on their camp is making no means to be quiet about it. Kíli starts to draw, his eyes narrowed, focused on something that Fíli cannot see.

“Oy, don’t shoot me, laddie!” Bofur’s unmistakable tenor sounds through the woods, and Kíli relaxes, muttering a curse under his breath.

“Mahal, Bofur!” Fíli exasperates. “You nearly scared the life out of me!”

“Good thing he didn’t hear you talking about his ale,” Kíli teases, smirk playing at his lips even as his shoulders stay tense.

“Sorry, lads,” Bofur says as he, Bifur, and Bombur finally reach the clearing. “Wasn’t completely sure it was you all we were coming up on.”

“You’re supposed to be three days behind us,” Fíli says, as he and his brother cross the clearing to meet the other dwarves, helping them deposit their supplies to set up camp.

“Got a raven the day after you left. Thorin wanted us to catch up to you and head to Hobbiton instead,” Bombur explains, already digging in his pack for his cooking supplies. “Forgot to pack some of my spices in our haste to leave, but we should be able to make due until we can purchase more provisions,” he says with a wry smile.

Kíli shakes his head and laughs at him. “Priorities, honestly,” he murmurs, and then signs something quickly to Bifur in Iglishmek that makes the older dwarf laugh as well.

“Did he say why?” Fíli asks as they all settle around the fire, where Bombur has immediately taken to seasoning the rabbits they’d had roasting there. “Is something wrong?”

Bofur shakes his head. “Nah, didn’t seem to be anything amiss, though it’s hard to tell in a letter. Didn’t use any of ‘em code words, so I suppose it’s all right.” He reaches into the pocket of his overcoat and pulls out a piece of parchment, handing it to Fíli.

Before leaving, the company had settled on a few phrases that sounded innocent enough that Thorin was comfortable sending through the ravens, but held special meaning for them, and them alone. The ale’s gone stale meant that Dain’s men had crossed them, or This town reeks of tall folk meant that they were under threat of attack.

It doesn’t surprise him at all when Kíli’s head appears behind his, reading the letter over his shoulder. Bofur was right, there isn’t anything off about the message, just that their meeting place had changed and they were to look for a door with a particular rune on it once they reached Hobbiton. Straight and to the point.

“Gets you to your soft pillow and decent ale sooner,” Kíli murmurs, smirking at him when Bofur looks up in surprise.

“Oy! What’s wrong with my ale, laddie?”

------

They wander the narrow trails of Hobbiton, passing a glance at each door they pass to check for the rune. Bofur and his kin had decided to refresh themselves at the inn before reuniting with the company (with some “ decent ale ,” Bofur had teased), but Fíli and Kíli were anxious to see their uncle again, so they’d headed on.

“What if we’re the first ones there?” Kíli asks, idly chewing on a piece of grass. They nod in greeting to a hobbit that passes them with a wide berth, giving them a peculiar look all the while and muttering something about strange folk in the town once they’d passed. From his lessons, he knew that Hobbiton was fairly isolated and wary of outsiders, so he paid it no mind.

“Then I suppose Master Boggins will have to entertain us for a short while,” Fíli answers easily. “Though I should think Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin should be there already.”

He pauses, and regards his brother with interest. “I thought it was Baggins?”

Fíli’s eyes narrow in thought. “I’m fairly certain it was Boggins,” he affirms. “Hey, do you see that?” he asks, pointing toward a house on a hill. There’s a small thing at the base of the door, shimmering in the glowing moonlight. “That’s got to be the mark, don’t you think?”

Kíli nods in agreement, and they set off up the hill. “I hope he has food,” he grumbles lightly, suddenly wishing he had stopped at the inn with Bofur.

“I’m certain he will,” Fíli assures him. “No one in their right mind would host thirteen dwarves without preparing a proper meal first.”

------

It’s been raining for days . Kíli is certain that even his bones are soaked through at this point; he’s forgotten what it meant to be dry. The entire company had been right miserable, Thorin most of all, as they’d continued trudging along, hoping that the rain would either let up or they’d come across a town with an inn where they could warm up and sleep.

Even Fíli’s normally cheery mood had soured; he’d snapped at him earlier that morning for simply trying to start a conversation with him. It was early in the afternoon (at least, he thought it was; it was hard to tell with the overcast sky and the monotony of the road) when Kíli slowed his pony down and shifted to the back of their traveling party to ride next to Mister Baggins (oh, he would need to get his brother back for that one later).

The hobbit looked as miserable as he did, and so Kíli decided to ride by him in companionable silence instead of trying to force conversation.

“This is not at all what I was expecting,” the hobbit – Bilbo – utters bitterly, furiously wiping rain from his face. “Not like any of my walking holidays at all! None of the adventures in my books talk about how utterly mundane this all is.”

Kíli chuckles lightly. “I must agree,” he admits. “Though I’ve never been on quite such a journey before. I suppose I didn’t really know what to expect.”

Bilbo adjusts himself on his saddle. “And these ponies! I much prefer the ground under my feet, thank you!”

He glances down toward the hobbit’s feet. “Wouldn’t that be painful?” he asks without thinking, forgetting his manners and Balin’s teachings about the ways of hobbits. Were his teacher within earshot, he would have gotten a lecture for certain.

“You know, with as hardy as dwarves are supposed to be, you’d think your feet could handle some rough terrain,” Bilbo replies, unbothered, a mirthful expression on his face that makes Kíli laugh and forget the rain for a moment.

Gloin tosses an irritated look back at them, clearly still disgruntled from the rain, which makes Bilbo downright giggle in response.

“The rain’s making ‘em delirious back there,” Bofur teases good-naturedly, which only earns him a scoff from Gloin.

They lapse into a comfortable silence, and for a while, the rain doesn’t feel so stifling.

-----

Bilbo wakes with a start. He’s not been too keen on sleeping on the ground in the first place, but it’s made worse by the fact that he thinks there was something crawling on him just then. He fumbles out of his bedroll, dusting himself off where he swears something just slithered across his legs. The fire has burned low and is casting strange shadows around their camp, giving him all the more reason to feel anxious about a creeping visitor in the night.

He knows he won’t find sleep anytime soon, so he looks to see who is on watch, thinking that perhaps he will keep them company for a while or maybe relieve them early if they’re tired. It’s Kíli that’s watching him from where he is propped up against a tree trunk, a small little smirk gracing his lips that lets Bilbo know he saw his miniature freak out, and he has the decency to at least blush a little before he makes his way over to him. Fíli is asleep beside him, half curled into his side and using his little brother’s leg as a pillow.

“Can’t sleep, Mister Baggins?” he asks as soon as Bilbo sits beside him, a smile clearly evident in his voice. He likes Kíli, he knows. The young dwarf is always full of energy and is overly kind to him, which is something that could not be said for the rest of the company.

“No,” he answers. “We don’t all have the luxury of your brother to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, no matter where.”

Kíli chuckles before glancing down at his brother, affection clear in his features. “A bit annoying, really. He tricked me into watch. Said he wanted someone to keep him company and then dropped right off.”

Bilbo laughs as well; it does certainly sound like something Fíli would do. The lads had broken up the monotony of the journey by playing pranks on one another, much to the amusement of the company (he’d even seen Thorin crack a smile at their antics). “I could take over for you, if you want,” he offered. “I’ll be imagining things squirming around my bedroll for the rest of the night, I suppose.”

Kíli gives him a light smile, but he notices how it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I can’t really sleep either,” he admits, and there’s something about him that just looks so off and vulnerable in that moment that Bilbo suddenly realizes how young Kíli must be.

Eventually he fishes out his pipe and fills it, offering some to Kíli, who simply shakes his head. He takes a long drag, tastes the Shire and home , and it brings a bit of peace back to him. He watches Kíli for a moment, notices how his gaze keeps flickering from one sleeping dwarf to the next, to the treetops and the stars, to the fire.

“How old are you, Kíli?” he asks eventually, curiosity getting the better of him, even if it may not be proper to ask such a bold question at this time of night.

If Kíli is surprised by his question, he doesn’t show it, but his eyes do stop their wandering and eventually settle Thorin. “Seventy-seven,” he answers.

Bilbo raises an eyebrow. He is only fifty, and hadn't imagined that Kíli could be older than him, but he thinks he remembers from one of his books that dwarrows live a good bit longer than hobbits. “When do dwarrows come of age?” he asks, and notices that Kili almost blushes, but it could be a trick of the firelight.

“At eighty,” he answers. “The company had to vote to let me come or not.” He swallows thickly, and Bilbo knows there’s something else he wants to say, so he gives him time to speak. Eventually the young dwarf just sighs and shakes his head.

Bilbo lets out a long sigh. “I don’t think I would have ever been able to convince my parents to let me journey so far before I was of age,” he comments, searching for familiar patterns in the stars, silence stretching between them.

“My parents have been gone a long time,” Kíli eventually murmurs. “It’s just me and Fíli. Always has been.”

Bilbo curses his boldness. There’s a sadness in the lad’s voice that he’s not heard before, and he hates that his curiosity puts it there. Yet, it explained why the brothers were so close, much closer than any of the other siblings in the company. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

Kíli doesn’t reply, but Bilbo sees the soft smile that tugs at the corner of his lips. The dwarf isn’t cross with him, which comes as a huge relief.

“I had forgotten that dwarrows live much longer than hobbits,” he eventually says, breaking the silence and steering the conversation down a different path, puffing on his pipe thoughtfully. “But no doubt you’ve had plenty of time for adventures in seventy-seven years?”

Kíli gives him a lopsided grin. “I’m just as green as you, Mister Baggins,” he admits. “Up until a few months ago, I’d never left Ered Luin.”

Bilbo is quite certain that his jaw drops, drawing a light chuckle from Kíli. 

“Well, sometimes Mister Dwalin and I would go on hunting trips, but they were never far away or for very long,” he explains. “And I went out on patrol around Ered Luin, but still, not far.”

“Oh,” is all Bilbo can think to reply. The lad had seemed so at ease in the wilds; he had just assumed Kíli had more experience than most, especially having been chosen for such an important quest. Bravery must be in no short supply for dwarrow, he reasoned. “Well then, I hope you are at least not as afraid of everything as I am.”

Kili’s gaze flickered down. “I am,” he admits quietly, and Bilbo wonders how in the world he can possibly be afraid, because he is always sent out scouting and climbing trees and hunting, typically with a smile and an eagerness not possessed by the rest of the company. But really, he realizes, Kili is still just a child, one who has never been away from home before.

“Is that why you can’t sleep?” he ventures, and Kíli just nods. Bilbo offers him his pipe again, but he refuses again. “Well, I’ll look after you if you decide to nod off. I can keep watch until morning.”

That soft, kind smile returns. “Thank you,” he murmurs quietly, and Bilbo can hear the sincerity in his words.

The comfortable silence descends over them once again, and Bilbo focuses on his pipe, idly humming fragments of a mostly forgotten lullaby from his childhood, the words dancing around his mind but flitting just out of reach. He wonders how he’s forgotten the words but can hear his mother’s voice clear as day, wonders if Kíli does the same with old dwarven lullabies. He turns to ask, but to his pleasant surprise sees that Kíli’s eyes have slipped closed, his head resting back against the tree trunk, chest rising and falling with steady, even breaths, lulled to sleep by the pleasant smell of pipe smoke and Bilbo’s humming.

Bilbo smiles, feeling immeasurably proud of himself as he settles in to keep watch for the next few hours.

He doesn’t see the fire glinting from Thorin’s eyes, who quietly watches him with a growing fondness.

-----

Lightning cracks across the sky, followed by another booming rumble of thunder. He and Kíli are working quickly to get the rest of the ponies tied to some trees, to keep the spooked beasts from fleeing in the night. As it is, Fíli feels fairly certain that one or more of them will be missing before the dawn. He deftly ties the reigns of the last of his ponies, before looking back at Kíli to see if he’s almost done. He cannot wait to be back under the cover of the outcropping of rocks they had found just before the skies opened up in this deluge.

His brother is on the last of his ponies, Minty, and Fíli begins to trudge over to help him along. Another bolt of lightning streaks the sky, bathing the entire wood in an eerie blue light, with the impossibly loud crack of thunder coming immediately after. Fíli sees Minty rear up in fear before sprinting off. Frantically, Fíli’s eyes search for his brother in the suddenly dark wood, but he cannot see him - the place where Kíli stood moments ago is empty.

“Fee!” he hears in the distance, and with a sickening feeling he realizes that Kíli must be caught up in Minty’s reigns, being dragged alongside her as she flees.

“We need help!” he screams in the direction of their encampment, before tearing off after the pony. Lightning illuminates the forest once more, and Fíli can see them, can see Kíli’s arm trapped in Minty’s reigns as his brother tries to pull himself free. He pushes himself faster, sprinting through the brush of the forest to catch them. Another flash reveals the stream they’d forded earlier, and with relief he realizes that Minty will likely stop at its banks - she’d been the most reluctant to cross it. He’ll be able to catch them and get his brother loose.

He trips over a branch, falls face first into the underbrush, and hears a large splash from ahead.

“No, no,” he breathes, scrambling to his feet. The next flash of lightning reveals Minty’s head barely above the tumultuous waters as she frantically tries to cross, with Kíli nowhere in sight. “Kíli!”

He reaches the streambank just as Minty pulls herself up on the other side, reigns cut. Kíli must have managed to free himself, but he’s still nowhere to be seen.

Panic grips at him as he scans the turbid waters, searching for any sign of his brother. Behind him, he hears someone calling out, but he can’t focus on who it is or what they’re saying. Another flash of lightning and he sees him, at least the blue of his hood, farther downstream. He sprints down the bank, his boots sticking in the mud, slowing him with each step, but he keeps his eyes on the hood, terrified that he will lose sight of it and his brother will be lost for good. When lightning flashes once more, he is relieved and horrified to see an outcropping of rocks blocking most of the stream flow, water rushing over and around them in their quest downstream. The rocks should stop him, and Fíli will be able to catch up.

Without thinking, he leaps into the rushing water, frantically moving forward, the water pushing him along with unforeseen might. He smashes into the rocks, his hands gripping wildly for his brother. Finally, he feels Kíli’s solid weight just under the surface and he pulls .

“Here, laddie; we’ve got ‘em,” he hears suddenly, and he looks up to see Bofur and Bifur with their arms extended. He lifts his Kíli up as well as he can, and the brothers grab him to pull him the rest of the way up. Kíli is deadweight, unmoving, and Fíli’s heart lurches in his chest as Bifur carefully carries him across the rocks and to the riverbank.

“Now you,” says Bofur, and Fíli reaches for him, grateful for his help in getting out of the stream as his legs have turned to jelly and he’s not certain he could have done it on his own. He leans heavily on the innkeeper, trying to find his brother in the darkness.

“He’s not breathing,” he hears someone say, but he can’t quite place their voice. He abruptly realizes how cold he is. Lightning flashes again, but it seems so dim. Why is everything so dark? “Someone get Oin! He’s not breathing!”

He feels the mud of the bank under his feet, but his legs give out when Bofur relinquishes his hold to let him stand. He hears thunder, and everything goes dark.

-----

“Move!” Bilbo commands, startled by his own forwardness. Dori obliges without comment, stepping aside from Kíli’s limp form, face clouded with worry. Kíli looks like hell, practically blue. Bilbo sinks to his knees beside the lad, shaking fingers brushing the hair back from his face, alarmed at how cold he is. Gently, he adjusts the lad’s head, trying to recall the rescue breathing his Brandybuck cousins had taught him ages ago when they were just children. When he pulls his hands back, he is dismayed to see them covered in blood.

“Do you know what to do?” Dori asks from behind him.

Dimly, he nods. “I think so, at least,” he admits, suddenly unsure of himself.

“Need some help over here, lads!” Bofur calls, and Bilbo looks up to see him struggling to support Fíli’s weight. Bifur rushes to help carry him, throwing Fíli’s arm over his shoulder to hoist him up. “Dori, get Oin. We’ll be right behind you.” He fixes Bilbo with a stern look. “You’ve got him ‘til they get back?”

“Yes; now go!” Bilbo orders, confidence returning as his fingers feel for the boy’s pulse along his neck, finally finding it sluggishly pounding along. He takes a deep breath, pinches Kíli’s nose, then breaths into his mouth once, then twice. The lad’s chest rises with each breath, something he vaguely remembers as a good sign, but he can’t for the life of himself remember why.

“C’mon, Kíli,” he murmurs, before breathing for him again. And again. And again. Watching between each breath for a sign of life from the lad. And again.

It can’t be like this. Not Kíli. Kíli who was so kind, and listened to his stories, and found ways to make him laugh on the darkest days of their journey. He breathes for him again. Watches. Nothing .

And Fíli! Was he alright? In shock, no doubt, from the icy chill of the water. He breathes again. Watches. Surely he would be okay, but without Kíli? Breathes again. He can’t fathom it. He’d only known them for a short time, but they were practically two souls sharing one body. Again. Again.

Again .

Kíli suddenly coughs, spurting up water as he does, before taking a rough, heaving breath. His body spasms violently as his consciousness comes back to him, grating, gasping breaths shake his entire form.

“It’s alright,” he soothes, stroking his hands along his face, his shoulders. “You’re alright, Kíli; we’ve got you.”

Oin suddenly appears beside him. “Said he wasn’t breathing?” he asks. “You did this?”

“My cousins taught me rescue breathing after one of them nearly drowned,” he explains hastily. “I think he has a head injury,” he adds, holding up his still bloodied hand as evidence.

“That arm might be broken, too,” Oin says, gesturing to Kíli’s right hand, which is already bruised and purple, swollen around his gauntlet. “C’mon, lads,” he says, and Bilbo looks up to see Gloin and Dwalin, their faces stricken with worry. “Let’s get him to the fire; Mister Baggins’ fine work will be for naught if we don’t get him warm.”

Numbly, Bilbo follows after them as they carry Kíli’s still sputtering form, hurrying through the downpour to get him under the safety of the outcrop. After what seems like an eternity, he spies the campfire in the distance. As they get closer, he can see the dwarves wrapping Fíli in furs. He’s cradled against Bofur’s chest, next to the fire, mumbling incoherently as he comes back to his senses.

Thorin is positively frantic, which strikes Bilbo as odd. He is immediately at Kíli’s side while Oin strips him of his soaking clothes, and it is Thorin who gathers the lad into his arms and wraps him tight under his furs, lips pressed close against his temple as he whispers words Bilbo cannot hear while Oin prods at his head, searching for the wound.

He feels like an intruder, like he’s watching something deeply private infold, so he slips away.

Silently, he trods off to the other side of the fire, to sit beside Fíli and Bofur. Fíli seems to have regained some of his strength - he’s not leaning on Bofur quite so much, and his eyes are focused on his brother across the fire. Bombur has placed a warm bowl of stew in his hands, and he’s cradling it gently, the tips of his fingers white with cold.

“He’s breathing?” Fíli asks as Bilbo approaches, his voice a stammering slur of words.

“He is,” Bilbo confirms as he settles himself, warming his chilled hands by the fire. Thunder rumbles again, making him jump. His adrenaline from being able to help has faded; now he just feels worried and cold. “What even happened?”

Fíli clears his throat. “I’m not quite sure,” he admits, his voice trembling. “We were tieing up the ponies. I looked over and one of them bolted, and I don’t know what happened but Kíli was...he was caught somehow...and…”

“His arm looked injured,” Bilbo said softly. “It must have gotten tangled in the reigns.”

Fíli chokes on a sob. “He went under and I couldn’t find him,” he murmurs, and Bilbo glances over at him, dismayed to see the tears pooling in his eyes. “I couldn’t help him.”

He reaches over and pats Fíli’s arm, trying his best to soothe the lad. “You did help him, Fíli. You got him out of the water. And now Oin will take good care of him.”

At that moment, Kíli lets out a pitiful wail as Oin tends to the wound on his head. Fíli starts to stand, but Bofur grabs his arm to keep him seated. “Rest, laddie,” he commands. “He’s in the best of hands.”

“I’m not leaving him alone,” Fíli asserts, and when he staggers to his feet, Bofur doesn’t stop him. Bilbo watches in barely concealed amazement as Thorin opens his arms and allows Fíli to settle into his opposite side, gingerly taking his brother’s arm into his hands to examine it. He’s never seen Thorin show a lick of affection to anyone in the company (and certainly not to him), and this raw tenderness...it’s a side of the dwarf king he hadn’t seen before.

His musing is interrupted as Bombur hands him his own bowl of stew. “It’s supposed to be a secret,” Bofur says after a moment, “but I think you’ve earned our trust.”

Bilbo regards him oddly. Their trust? Did he not already have it when he agreed to come on this blasted quest?

“They’re his nephews,” the innkeeper says, voice quiet, buried under the commotion of the camp.

“His what ?” Bilbo asks, incredulous. Slowly, the pieces click into place, his conversation with Kíli from a few nights ago catapulting to the front of his mind. Being orphaned, having to rely on his brother, being brought on the quest even though he wasn’t of age…

“He doesn’t want anyone to know because they’re his heirs - could wipe out the entire line of Durin at once if some evil sort wanted to,” he continues, still quiet. “Aside from Erebor, he loves those boys more than anything in the world. Raised ‘em himself. They may as well be his sons.”

-----

Kíli finally feels warm again, from where he is pressed against his chest. Thorin watches him as he sleeps, the subtle movement of his eyes beneath his eyelids. The fact that he is sleeping relatively peacefully is a gift that he won’t take for granted.

He truly thought they had lost him. When Oin and Dwalin had brought him back to their encampment...he was too pale, streaks of red blood on his face and neck, his arm impossibly swollen…and Fíli, his sweet Fíli, soaked to the bone and utterly terrified that he’d been too late to help his brother.

He’d been ready to scold the lads about being careless when tending to the ponies, but all of that anger, all of his appearances dissipated the second he’d heard Fíli’s frantic scream in the storm. The second he’d seen his frightened face…

He swallows thickly. Nightmares for his past swirl around his mind, horrible visions that he hoped would never come to pass. He regrets bringing them, both of them, but they’re too far gone to turn back now.

Oin had worked quickly on Kíli, finding and stitching the gash on his head, bracing his (fortunately unbroken) arm. The lad had been nearly delirious, from pain or cold or both, and Thorin had focused on talking him through what was happening, on distracting him with stories from his childhood, keeping him awake so Oin could assess the severity of his concussion. When Fíli had stumbled over he couldn’t help but gather him into his arms as well. Kíli was certainly in a more dire state, but it wasn’t lost on him that Fíli had nearly lost his life as well. If Bofur hadn’t heard his call...if he hadn’t rushed to their aid…

He couldn’t let himself dwell on that.

Holding them both so close had reminded him of when they were children, when Kíli was horribly afraid of storms and Fíli was afraid of sleeping alone, and they would both clamber into his study (where he inevitably was still up, pouring over his maps and books) and curl up on the settee together until they calmed enough to go to sleep.

But they weren’t children anymore, and they weren’t in the comfort of their home. They were in the wilds, on a quest that Thorin had no right to bring them on, no right to even ask them to come on.

The guilt gnaws at him, and he curls his arms tighter around Kíli’s sleeping form. He catches Fíli’s eye across the fire, where his heir is heating some water for the herbal tea Oin had given him for his aches. Fíli gives him a gentle smile, but Thorin sees the sadness and fear that still linger in his eyes. Thorin had held him close last night as he’d cried out his fears and blamed himself. But from the sounds of it, it was all a freak accident. No one could be blamed for this, not truly. Perhaps Minty, but the beast was only acting on instinct, and now she and her supplies were lost.

Kíli stirs slightly. Thorin peers down to be met with clouded, confused brown eyes. “You’re awake,” he says quietly, and Kíli’s brow furrows.

“Wha-” Kíli starts, his voice raspy. “What happened?”

Fíli rejoins then, smiling slightly when he sees that his brother is awake. He takes the tea he’d brewed for himself and presses it into his brother’s hands. “Minty took you for a late night swim,” he says, light tone belying the fear of the night before. “Drink this,” he adds, helping his brother lift the mug to his lips. “It’ll help you feel better.”

Kíli frowns. “Wha’s wrong with my hand?”

“Got tangled up in her reigns, I’m afraid.” Fíli explains, and Thorin is immensely grateful for his calming presence. A lump has lodged itself in his throat, and he doesn’t trust himself to speak. “Oin thinks it’s just a sprain,” he adds. “Should be right in a few days.”

Kíli quietly sips the warm tea, a soft hum of appreciation slips from the back of his throat. He lifts his head from Thorin’s chest to look around, but quickly grimaces and screws his eyes shut, letting his head fall back. “Ah, shit,” he grumbles, making Thorin chuckle, loosening the knot in his throat.

“Oin thinks your head will be off for a few days yet,” he explains. “Maybe sooner with the teas, but you’ll need to take it slow until then.”

“Thought you always said I had a thick head,” Kíli grumbles, drawing a bark of laughter from Balin nearby, which tugs a small smile to Kíli’s lips.

“Good thing, too, laddie,” Balin says, laughter still bubbling in his voice. “A knock that hard to any of the rest of this lot would have then out cold for days.” He casts a glance over to his brother. “Except for Dwalin, of course.”

Kíli laughs for real then, and Fíli joins in. Thorin feels immensely relieved to hear them sounding so much like themselves; it dissolves some of his guilt and frustration, reminding him that although they are but boys, they are strong , and loyal, and kind. It reminds him of why he included them in the company, even with his reservations, of their worth to this quest, of the rewards they would reap in Erebor.

And despite the terror of the night’s events, he feels more sure of himself than ever.

-----

“I don’t care what Uncle says about elves,” Fíli sighs contentedly, sinking into the huge, cushiony covering of the bed they’d been lent for the night. “So long as I get to sleep on this divine bed, they’re alright in my book. They’re even more hospitable than the poor hobbit was!”

“ Bilbo ,” Kíli reminds him. Having grown close to the hobbit during their adventure, he’d learned that he was particularly annoyed at being referred to simply as “the hobbit.” ( “I have a name,” he’d grumbled after Dwalin had dismissed him easily. “A perfectly good name that he’d be kind to remember!” ) Since then, Kíli had tried to use his name as often as possible.

“Yes, Bilbo,” Fíli amends. “Speaking of, what do you think of him?”

Kíli adjusts the sleeves of the robe the elves had lent them while they tended to their clothes, rolling them to keep them from covering his hands, before clammering up onto the bed with his brother. “I don’t know how he’ll fare as a burglar,” he admits, settling into the delightfully comfortable bedding. “But he is kind and honorable. A good man.”

“Mmm,” Fíli murmurs in agreement, practically falling asleep. It had been a long time since they had gone off to bed with a full belly and all of the comforts of home (though, to be true, the luxurious halls of the elves were a far cry from their modest upbringing), and Kíli would be lying if he said he wasn’t pleased with the turn of events. Elven culture was dramatically different than their own, but seeing a semblance of home , even if it wasn’t his home, had been deeply comforting.

A thought occurred to him, one that he had tried to squash down many times before, moreso now that their journey had started. He’d never properly voiced it aloud, not even to his brother.

What even was home ? Ered Luin had been the only home he had ever known, but being raised by Thorin it was always treated as a temporary solution. His days were filled with stories of Erebor, of their real home, but that’s all they were to him. Stories.

Now that the quest was proceeding, he felt a distinct fear gnawing at him. Would he even like Erebor? Thorin always spoke of the great, winding halls that carved deep into the mountain, but Kíli hated being underground for long stretches of time, much preferring the rolling, open fields or the comforting canopy of the forest. ( Elf-bred indeed , his brain mocks). If Thorin were restored to his throne, certain...responsibilities would be expected of him. He wasn’t sure he would be able to fulfill them. Fellow dwarves would be depending on them, and he was right terrified of letting them down, of not being up to the task.

He knew in many ways Fíli felt the same way - that their upbringing precluded him from being a suitable heir to Thorin’s throne, that he also feared not being adequate for their people. But Fíli didn’t see himself the way Kíli did - the way their fellow dwarves in the settlement saw him. He was assured and just and kind. He was skilled on the battlefield and had proven his worth as a soldier and general in his time on patrol. 

And then there was the unspoken truth about his birth - he was the spare. Part of him didn’t even dare to hope that he would ever even see the halls of Erebor, which is maybe why he couldn’t picture where he would fit. He’d already nearly lost his life thrice already -  most recently this morning, when he’d covered the company as they’d fled the band of orc hunting them, jagged arrows narrowly missing him. Then there was the business with the trolls, and not to mention how he almost got himself drowned (purely on accident, at that!). The wizard had alluded to the fact that the danger would increase the farther they traveled - that Rivendell would be their last safe sanctuary for quite some time.

He drew up the map of their road in his mind. Idly, he wondered at which point he would meet his demise.

“You’re not sleeping,” Fíli groggily mumbles, arm blindly flopping around to find him. “Go t’sleep.”

Kíli rolls, curling up against his brother’s side, squashing down his dark thoughts once again. Fíli already has so much to worry about; he doesn’t want to burden him further, especially knowing how much theorizing about his own end distresses his brother. 

He focuses instead, on happier memories, in particular on a foraging trip he had taken with Fíli and Dwalin through the woods surrounding Ered Luin on a perfect autumn day, the leaves swirling around them in reds and golds in the crisp breeze. They were just children, unburdened by the worries of their people. Carefree. Happy .

The sound of Fíli’s soft snoring and the comfort of their bedding eventually lulls him into a dreamless sleep.

-----

AN - I’m wrapping up the next chapter (currently rewatching the films for reference - my dumb self forgot about the whole ~arkenstone~ thing...oops).

[scaredofthebasement-blog]

When Love Walks In - Chpt 20

Chpt 20 – Alex Calls Out Auston for his Playboy Ways and They Have a Heart to Heart

(Please note that I made a few major edits.)

Words 4971

Alex pulls up the chair to sit next to her brother on his left-hand bedside.  She has to laugh when Auston raises his eyebrows at her, perplexed by why she’s fussing; inching her chair closer and closer to him.  

“What?!  I’m just trying to get as close to you as possible without actually getting in the bed with you.  I don’t want anyone to hear what I’m saying”,  She explains recognizing how silly it appears.

Auston shakes his head, thinking, So much drama.  Frig!  It’s like my life’s become a freakin’ soap opera.

Alex leans into Auston and whispers, “Oz!  Hey!”

He turns toward her all dramatic-like as if he’s in a soap opera and mouths, Whaaa?

“Would you care to explain to me what the heck you’ve been doing?  Frig, I leave you alone for a few hours, and you’re pouring on the charm for BOTH of your doctors?!  Please don’t tell me you’re making moves on them.  Have you fallen for Dr Wright too?”

Auston rolls his eyes dramatically and writes, “NO!!!!!”  

Then what happened when I was gone that made her so…uhm…I don’t know, different?

“I was drawing emojis.”

“Okay?  And...?”

He quickly draws, Mic Drop,  No Clue and Bored Out of My Mind.

Oh!  Alright, then.  Those ARE pretty funny.  I forgot you know how to do those. Ha!  I love that ‘Bored’ one best.  Funny!  Good for you Oz!  They both deserve a good laugh.”

Auston agrees, writing, “Yeah, it was fun watching Dr Wright’s reaction.  Never seen her like that.  She’s usually so serious.  Very kind, great at her job, but she can be pretty intense.  So it was a rush watching her walls come down.”

“Not to mention she’s pretty beautiful.  Am I right?  Huh? Auston?” She pokes.

“I’m not interested in her at all!”  Auston writes in frustration.

“Okay!  Sorry! Take a chill pill.  But don’t try and tell me you’re not interested in Dr Quinn, cause I’m not an idiot.”

Auston blushes and rolls his eyes at her as he writes sarcastically,  “Yeah, you got me, Detective.  You should work for the NYPD, Alex.”

“Thanks.  I’ll look into that.  Law and Order, Special Doofus Unit”,  She jokes.

Auston has to laugh at that one.  He writes with a smirk, “Clever, I’ll give you that.”

Alex laughs, proud of herself for impressing her brother. 

“Did Dr Quinn like your emojis too, Auston?”  She teases.

Auston rolls his eyes.  “As a matter of fact, Dr Q has seen me draw them before. She thought they were pretty funny. I now use them to tease her.  She pretends to not be amused, which as far as I’m concerned adds to my amusement.  They were both fun to watch cause it took them by surprise.”

“Yeah, I don’t imagine many patients can draw like that or would draw emojis for their doctors”, Alex laughs at the idea.

Auston adds, “I wish you were here to see it.  BTW why were you so late coming this morning?  You missed a lot of information, and now Dr Q’s going to have to repeat it all.  But I suppose that’ll make her stay longer today, so I guess a ‘thanks’ is in order.”

“Well, as a matter of fact, Auston, I was finishing up that lovely job you gave me”, Alex says with disdain.

“Oh...”, Auston writes, pursing his mouth, regretting he even asked.  He’s cautious as he detects annoyance in her voice.  He thinks, Oh, Oh. This ain't gonna be good.

“Yes!  I finally got through all your freakin’ social media, and you actually owe me TWO HUGE-ASS MANSIONS, definitely some KICK-ASS THERAPY and a month at a FULL-SERVICE SPA.  Shit, Auston!  You’re a dirty boy!”  She speaks quietly but with a harsh tone.

“Yeah, I know”, he writes sheepishly.  “I’m really sorry, Alex.  I’ve been thinking a lot about what you might see on my phone, and I’m actually very embarrassed.  I don’t like thinking about that ‘old me’, cause I’m not that person anymore.”

“Since when?  And why?”  Alex asks.

“Since being in here.  I’ve had time to reflect and can see that I got caught up in an exciting playboy lifestyle that worked for my need to be selfish in order to pursue my career goals.  But I don’t want that life anymore and I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

“Oh?”  Alex questions.

“I want to be in a committed and mature relationship with Dr Quinn, even if I have to sacrifice some time spent on my career goals.  I want Quinn.  I want a relationship of substance with Quinn.  I want a ‘normalish’ life with Quinn.”

Alex unloads, “Well, I’m very glad that you have resolved to change your ways, Auston, cause I had a whole lecture that I was gonna throw at you just now.  I’ll spare you most of it but need you to know this:  I love you dearly, but I won’t permit you to subject Dr Quinn to any of that cheap-ass shit you were engaged in with other women prior to your accident.  If you even consider pursuing it with her, I’ll talk to Mom and Dad, and I’ll warn Dr Quinn. She deserves THE VERY BEST man in her life and from what my eyes witnessed, sorting through your texts and such, YOU have been VERY far from ‘BEST’; more-like, ‘Best Asshole’.  I know why you initially went the route of being a ‘player’, ‘wheeler’, ‘hooking up,’ whatever you want to call it. I get it.  It made sense back then.  But that’s a life of absolute zero substance and completely shallow.  Dr Quinn deserves substance and frankly at this point in your life, so do you.”

“I know!  Trust me! I know that now!”  Auston pleads.

“I really hope you do, Oz.  You’re an amazing guy.  You have so much to offer a woman and a relationship, and it would be a real waste if you keep up those shallow ways just because you live life in the fast lane.  It’s time to move on and be a real man.”

“Alex.  I get it. You’re 1000% right, and you don’t have to talk to Mom, Dad or Quinn because I can assure you, I am not the same person I was before my accident.”

“Go ahead, Auston.  I’m listening…or reading, I should say.”

“Honestly, I don’t know if it’s because I almost died or because I finally took a beat to reflect but I’ve realized I’ve become a man in the last few years.  Or maybe Quinn has made me want to be a better man to be with her?  It could be a combination of all three.  But I can assure you, every cell in my body wants to be the very best man that I can for her.  To me, she is the most amazing person I’ve ever met.  She thrills me.  I can’t get enough of her.  She means everything to me.  I want to bring the same amount of joy to her as she brings to me”, He rationalizes.

“Okay.  Good. And, Wow Oz!  I really want to believe you will change, but it’s hard to break bad habits.”

Auston is determined to convince Alex he’s changed. “Let me put it this way, if I find out that someone with the ‘old me agenda’ is, or has moved on Quinn, (and I honestly can’t even let myself consider that possibility because it’s too upsetting), after I’m done taking care of that asshat, he will be in desperate need of another doctor.  Do you get my drift?  I know how I was, and I will never be that way again.  I won’t tolerate anyone treating Quinn like a consumable, let alone me.”

“Okay, Oz, but please don’t go doing anything stupid to anyone.  I’m very glad that you see the light”, Alex warns.

“Alex, I’ve never felt like this about anyone before Quinn. I’m absolutely bat-shit crazy about her. It’s like she’s heroin and I’m addicted. I’m a puddle when she’s around and a wreck when she’s not.  I’m embarrassed to tell you that with the very best of intentions, I have done some desperate shit to get her to spend time with me.”

“No!  Auston! What desperate shit did you do?” Alex panics.

“Well, for one thing, I almost died; but first I made her cry”,  Auston confesses.

“What?!  The hell?! Oz!  What are you talking about you almost died?  Again?!  And you made Dr Quinn cry?!  Are you crazy?!”

“Yes, Alex, I am crazy!  Apparently, certifiable!  I’m sorry to say; I did both.  I was completely distraught after not seeing Quinn all last week.  Then yesterday, she made it seem like she was going to be too busy to see me much this week, and it’s my last week here!  Plus she started dating a fucking doctor-god last week!  I call him Dr McDreamy cause from what I can gather from my research; he’s all that and then some.”  

“Oh, no!  Really?”

“Frig! It pisses me off royally!  Quinn hasn’t dated since dinosaurs last roamed the earth, but she decides to take up with a fucking doctor when I arrive on the scene”, Auston laments.

“Oh, boy!  That’s not good”, Alex reasons.

“Yeah, and BTW, Alex, you’re comments are not helping.”  Auston points out, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry!  But neither are yours!  ‘Almost died’ and ‘made my doctor cry’.  Shit!  What a freaking mess, Auston!  What did you do?  Specifically!”  Alex snaps back.

“I made her upset by making her think I doubted her promise to be there for me for the rest of my recovery.  I also accused her of abandoning me last week”,  Auston confesses.

“Auston!  No!” Alex freaks.

“Yes!”  He takes in a deep breath and sighs.  “Oh God, Alex! I know!  I’m such a mess!  But I needed to remind her of her purpose for being a doctor in the first place - to be there for her patients.  You know?  For people like Josh.  So she’d be there for me.”

“Oh Auston, that’s some off-base shit right there. She IS there for her patients!  She’s been incredibly dedicated to you! To Mom, Dad, Bre and Me.  24 freaking 7, Auston!  Last week, she didn’t even know you were struggling cause Dr Wright didn’t tell her.  She had a medical conference to attend, and she had meetings.  She checked up on you every day with Dr Wright.  And tell me you did NOT bring up Josh’s name.  Did you?!”

“No!  I could never be that cruel!  I know she’s been there for me.  I just wanted her to come around this week so we could develop a relationship.  Otherwise, she was going to be spread too thin.  I needed to make sure I got a chance to find my way into her heart”,  Auston explains as his heart pounds and his blood pressure rises.

“I know, but still, that was selfish and entitled behaviour, Auston”, Alex lashes out.

“I know it seems that way.  I just didn’t feel like I had any other option since I go home next week.  I saw a chance, and I took it.  It devasted me to hurt her like that, and I ended up getting so upset that I choked on my congestion.  I couldn’t breathe, so she had to suction me.  It was scary as hell, Alex”, Auston tries to make her understand.

“Auston!  Oh, my God! I don’t even know what to say right now”, Alex blurts out in frustration.

As Alex sorts through all the information Auston has spilt on her,  Auston sits, staring down at his hands, feeling anguish; conflicted and berating himself for being selfish.

After what seems like forever of nothing, Alex blurts out, “Not cool, Oz!  So not cool! Frig!  What if Mom and Dad find out?”

Auston nods in agreement and immediately falls apart. He is distraught.  Tears start to flow down his face.

He starts coughing.

Oh shit, here I go again!

Alex sees what’s happening and tries to do damage control.  She jumps up from her chair and pulls Auston into her arms.  Alex whispers in his ear as she rubs his back to comfort him.  She knows she was too hard on him in his vulnerable condition.  She’s upset with herself.  

Alex desperately attempts to calm him, “Hey, Hey, Hey!  Oz! Shhhh.   It’s okay. I’m sorry for being so harsh.  You’ve been through so much.  My words were severe.  No one knows what it’s like to walk in your shoes.  But I can understand.  When I think about it, I absolutely understand.  No need to cry, Oz.  I completely understand why you did what you did.  You were desperate.  I get it. Anyone in your situation would feel the need to do what you did.  It’s all good now.  Dr Quinn’s good.  You saw her earlier this morning.  She seemed really good.  Please calm yourself down, so you don’t choke.  Please, Oz.  Get yourself together, okay?  I support you.  I want what you want.  I want her for you too.  It was worth it, Oz.  I can see that.  What other choice did you have? Please suck it up, Oz.  Swallow. Take relaxing breaths.  Okay?”  She pulls away to let him catch his breath and reaches for tissues to try to dry his face. He grabs hold of her arm so she won’t leave him.

Auston continues to cough.  He swallows.  He keeps coughing.  He keeps swallowing.  He squirms as he tries to gain control and feels like if given a bit more time, he will be okay.  But when he starts to choke and wheeze, Alex sounds the alarm.

“Jacqui!  Nurse! Doctor!  Auston’s choking!  Help!  Hurry!”  She yells.

Auston is disappointed.  He really thought he could get it under control without the need for the Suction.  He wants to be able to master his secretions.

Jacqui is at Auston’s side in seconds.  She assesses the situation and grabs the Suction as Alex tries to move out of the way as best she can with Auston’s death grip on her arm.

Auston extends his free hand out in front of him to signal for Jacqui to stop and shakes his head ‘no’.  He wants more time.  ‘No suction yet’ is his clear message.

Jacqui stands down, watching as Auston continues to cough and wheeze. They both encourage him to relax, focus on drawing in breath and coughing.  

It takes about 30 seconds until Auston has caught his breath; for all three of them, it feels like an eternity.

Jacqui tells him she’ll stay in the room until he feels confident that he’s got things under control.

“What brought that on?”  She asks Alex.

“He was upset about something we were talking about”, Alex explains.

“Oh, I see.  Well, maybe you could change the subject to something a little cheerier. But at the same time, getting upset is bound to happen, and this is a great opportunity to learn how to manage the secretions – which you did!  You actually did great Auston!  Really impressive; you managed to stay calm, and you fought through it.  You’re showing great progress, and that’s what this week is about”,  Jacqui points out.

Auston nods with a smile.  He is happy with what he just did there.

“You okay now, Auston?”  Jacqui asks.

Auston nods and gives a smile and thumbs up.

“Then can I have my arm back bro?”  Alex begs with a relieved giggle.

Auston lets go of Alex’s arm and holds out his hand for some tissues to wipe his face.

So since you feel comfortable now, I can step out and leave you two alone for a few more minutes as it’s almost time for Dr Quinn to come and oversee the 11 am procedures.  Great job, Auston!  You too Alex!”

Auston gives Jacqui the thumbs up, and mouths ‘thank you.’

“Yes, thank you so much, Jacqui!”  Alex calls out.

Auston grabs the board and marker that Alex picks up off the floor for him.  He writes, “Thanks, Alex.  Sorry you had to see that.  It’s scary when it happens, but I felt confident that I had it under control.”

“Ha!  Yeah, Bam Bam,  you’re vulture grip on my arm made me feel really confident too”, She teases. “Seriously though, it’s upsetting but you did a great job and I’m sorry I distressed you.”

Auston writes, “It’s ok.  I know Dr Quinn will be here shortly so I want to tell you privately, that it may sound bad, but I’m glad I did what I did because I got Quinn to commit to coming to see me every day this week for Talk Therapy.”

“I thought she already was doing Therapy with you? You told Mom and Dad that she was.”

“Yeah, I know.  I lied about that.  Please don’t tell Mom and Dad!  I just needed them to leave me alone with Dr Quinn, but they wouldn’t let go of the therapy issue.  I told you, Alex, she’s like an addiction!  I would do anything to be alone with her.  I needed a chance for her to get to know me.”

“I understand why you can’t tell Dr Quinn how you feel right now.  She’d have to stop being your doctor.  She would never abuse or risk her position by allowing an obvious attraction. You can’t go losing her as your doctor. You need to be careful.”

“Exactly!  I want Dr Quinn to work with me cause she’s the only one who could possibly resurrect my voice.  The good thing is she wants to work with me cause I represent her ‘dead boyfriend’ and winning the ‘Stanley Cup’.”

“Auston!  Hold the phone!  Surprisingly, I get the reference to ‘her dead boyfriend,’ being Josh, but you’ve lost me at ‘winning the Stanley Cup’?!  What the hell are you talking about?!”  

“She told me that for her, saving my life was like making the Cup Finals and that restoring my voice would be like winning the Stanley Cup.”

Alex points out, “Well, if anyone could relate to an analogy like that it would be you.”

“I know, right?!  And how can I deny her the chance to win a ‘Stanley Cup’?”  He jokes.

“Ha!  Yeah, you’re so selfless, Auston”,  Alex mocks.

“Yeah, I know.  So now we’re playing games.  I’m playing ‘Avoid the Danger Zone’, and she’s playing, ‘Ignore the Elephant in the Room.’

“Neither sound very fun, Oz.” Alex adds, dryly.

“Honestly Alex, worst games ever!  I’m pretty sure I’m losing my game, where I try to hide how I feel about her, so she doesn’t have to stop being my doctor.  But I’m making out okay so far because she’s acing her game; where she absolutely refuses to acknowledge to herself that I’m interested in her.”

“Do you really think she knows how you feel about her?” Alex asks.

“Yeah.  I think she must have picked up on some clues; subconsciously anyway. She’s brilliant so I don’t know how she could miss them.  But she’s also either really good at making it look like she doesn’t know or in fact doesn’t know. I’m at a loss, really.”

“Do you think she likes you?”  Alex asks.

“Well, yesterday, she accidentally told me that she liked me”,  Auston reveals with a blush.

“What?!”  Alex gasps, excitedly.

“Yeah.  Dr Quinn let it slip in a conversation saying, ‘so that’s why I like you so much’”, Auston can’t help but smile.

“No way!”  Alex freaks.

“Hey!  Don’t act so surprised!”  Auston jokes.

“Ha!  Sorry! I’m just really happy for you.  What did YOU say?”  Alex asks.

“I teased her in a light, friend-like way, cause I don’t want to force her hand.  But it could be that’s how she meant it.  I’m not quite sure if she’s interested in me as more than a friend or just someone that thinks, ‘I’m a wonderful person’”,  Auston explains.

“She said ‘you’re a wonderful person?!’”  Alex jumps.

“Yeah.  But I swear if you’d been there, you wouldn’t know how to take it.  She brushed it off as something anyone would think if they knew me.  Honestly, Alex, it all seems like a mind game that I’m sure she doesn’t even know she’s playing. She just won’t go there; won’t let herself acknowledge it.”

“Cause then she’d have to do something about it. Right?  She’s smart”,  Alex reasons.

“Yup.  That she is for sure and very stubborn about pursuing her goals.”

“Sounds like someone else I know”,  Alex points out.

“Huh?  I’m not stubborn like Quinn”,  Auston denies.

“Oh, you think?  You’re kidding, right?”  Alex calls him out.

Auston considers the idea and then concedes, “Yeah.  You’re probably right.  Ha! I suppose we are similar in that.  We’re like dogs with a bone.”

“Probably one of the reasons why you like her so much”, Alex guesses.

“Love”, Auston corrects her.

“Oh, sorry.  “Love” her so much”,  Alex exaggerates, rolling her eyes but secretly thrilled.

“Got to call it what it is, Sis.  I’ve never been in love before so when you’re in it, it’s a big deal”,  Auston informs her.

“But she’s dating, huh?  That’s a big problem, Oz”,  Alex points out.

“Yeah.  I’m assuming this Doctor McDreamy’s my direct competition.  So that’s what forced me to challenge her; so I could set up another game that I’m calling, ‘Day by Freaking Day’.  

“Wow!  Oz!  Worst game title ever!”  Alex blurts out.

“Ha! Yeah, I know, right!”  Auston admits.

“So how do you play?”

“Well, as the name implies, I spend time with Dr Quinn during the day, let her get to know me and hopefully endear myself to her. Then she goes out with Doc McStuffins at night, and she realizes she likes me better.  That’s the only chance I have.  So every moment I have with her this week is precious.”

“Ha!  Oz?”  Alex questions.

Auston looks at her curious, Huh?

Doc McStuffins is a girl”,  Alex giggles.

Auston laughs to himself, writing, “Oh.  Ha!  Well, let’s hope Dr Peters is a girl.  That would help my cause.”

“Or complicate it?”  Alex jokes.

“Yeah!  Ha!  I suppose so.”  He chuckles.

Oh!  Before Quinn comes back, I want to ask you for another favour.  I want to get her a special gift to thank her for everything she’s done for me.”

“Awww.  Sweet!”

“I’ll get something for the others as well, but I want to get something extra special for Quinn, and it will need sourcing.”

“Okay?”

“You’ll need to go see the Jeweller that we use in Yorkville.  Get him to source out the items cause there is no way he’ll have them.  No restriction on price but don’t tell him that. Get him to text me what he finds and the cost.”  

“Sure.  What are you thinking?”  Alex asks.

“If you look in my bedside table you’ll find a piece of paper where I’ve listed specifically what I want.  The sooner you can get them, the better, but I understand if it might take a bit.”

“Okay”, curious, Alex heads over to the other side of Auston’s bed to get the paper.  She pulls out the note and reads it.  A smile washes across her face. “Wow, Auston!  Looks like you put a lot of thought into this.  You’re a real sweetheart.  She’s gonna love them.”

“Good!  I want the gift to touch her heart.”  Auston smiles, pleased with himself and excited for the day that he can give them to her.

“Thanks a lot for looking after this and me. You’re a saint!”  Auston gushes.

Alex acknowledges Auston’s gratitude with a smile. She puts the slip of paper in her purse and pulls out Auston’s cell phone and places it on his bedside table.

“I almost forgot!  Here’s your cell phone, Oz.  I did up a blurb for your social media accounts. I texted it to you.  You’ll need to review it, make any changes you want and send it to Judd for approval.”

“Oh, wow!  Thanks, Alex! Great!  I really appreciate everything you have done for me.  I think I’ll keep you around.”  

“Well, after your social media crap, I think I’m retiring as your sister”,  Alex teases.

“Ha!  Sorry. But I need my big sister.  You’re stuck with your dumbass little brother forever.”

“Yeah, don’t I know it.  All joking aside though,  I also got distracted and forgot to tell you, there are a couple girls texting you that seem to think you were about to make things serious before your accident.”

“What?  No!  Who?  Names?”  Auston writes, clearly upset.

“A ‘Bridget’ and a ‘Chantelle’.  Were you going to ask them to be exclusive?”

“Hell No!  I specifically made it my practice that prior to each hookup, they understood and agreed there would be no strings.  I learned that lesson the hard way and you know that.”

“Yes.  Well, they both appear to have magically changed their minds and they are very concerned about you since your accident and want to be here for you.”

“Together?!” Auston imagines what that would look like.

“No, not together, Dum Dum!  But they both indicated in their texts that they have come to the hospital trying to get in to see you; each saying she is your girlfriend.  But security stopped them cause they weren’t on the list.”

“Oh shit!  Can’t you just tell them I died?”  He writes, half-joking.

“Auston, you need to text Judd and get his advice on how to say adios to these women.  Can you do that in the next few days?  Or do you want me to call him and I’ll just tell him there has been a misunderstanding and you’re not interested in pursuing any type of relationship?”

“Yeah, can you do the second one you mentioned?  Please.  I don’t have the energy and I trust you can deal with it based on how you helped me a few years back with Rebecca”,  Auston begs.

“Sure.  Hopefully, these ones will go quietly into the night.”

“Thanks, Alex.  Keep me in the loop.  They were fun and beautiful women but I’m not interested.”

“Oz, you’ll also need to wrap up your old life with all your hookups.  You’ll need to tell them all goodbye”,  Alex advises.

“Please get Judd to do that on my behalf.  Tell him I can’t even talk for god-sakes.”

“Okay.  I will.  And...Oh, you also need to figure out who is going to stay with you while you’re home recovering, so message Mom and Dad tonight.”

“Will you stay with me?  Can you?”  Auston pleads.

“Really, you want ME?  After today?”  Alex questions.

“Yes, especially after today.  We’ve been through a lot.  You know me better than anyone.  You’re my confidente, biggest fan and best friend.  I trust you, and I enjoy your company.  If you would like to stay with me, I’d love to have you.” Auston tells her.

“Well, thanks, Oz!  I’ll seriously consider it.  I enjoy living in Toronto.  I also have been waiting for the right time to tell you that I have been seeing a guy from Toronto.  I met him here at the hospital in the waiting room.   His father was in the Intensive Care Ward when you were there.”

“No way!  So something else great came out of my accident?  What’s your boyfriend’s name?  How old is he?  What’s he do? Do you really like him?” Auston gives Alex the third degree.

“Whoa, Oz!  Yes, I really like him a lot.  I actually feel like I’m falling in love with him”, Alex says as a smile lights up her face.

“No way?!”  Auston writes.

“Way!  His name is Adam Lang.  He’s a Toronto Firefighter.  He’s actually studying to be a Captain.  He’s 33 years old.  Never been married. Has a golden retriever.  Lives in the ‘Beaches’.  He treats me like gold.  He’s smart as hell and a jock.  He makes me laugh, and we never run out of stuff to talk about or do.  I know you’ll hit it off”,  She tells him excitedly.

Auston smiles and motions for Alex to come in for a hug. He squeezes her tight and kisses her on the cheek.  Auston is so happy for her.  He knows she’s seen her share of heartbreaks over the years with two serious relationships that didn’t last.  He always worried about her happiness and hoped she’d find a good guy.

They pull apart, and Auston writes, “I want to meet him!  Bring him by.”

“Really?  Even though you can’t talk yet?”  Alex asks.

“I don’t care.  I have to meet him.  I have to make sure he’s not ‘a player’.”  He writes, teasing and adds a winky face emoji.

Alex rolls her eyes and laughs.  “Oh, he’s not ‘a player’ at all, Oz.  He’s a fan. But not the Leafs.  He’s a Bruins fan!”

Auston’s mouth drops open in shock as he raises his head to the ceiling mouthing a silent scream of “No!!!!!!!!!!!!” (See Gif at top of the page for the type of reaction).  Then he grabs his marker dramatically as he writes and emphasizes each exclamation point with a flourish. “No!!!!!!!!!!” 

Alex laughs.

After a minute stare down, where Auston tries to determine whether Alex is messing with him, Auston writes, begging, “Alex! Please tell me you’re joking! It’s not nice to be mean to someone in the hospital.”

“Just a little payback for how you treated Quinn. You’ll have to wait and ask Adam when you meet him.”

Auston writes, “Well played, Alex!  Well played!  I deserve this.”

They both laugh and high five each other just as Dr Quinn enters the room.

[naruto--imagines]

Naruto x Reader [Baby]

[A/N] I do not own any of the characters present in this story, nor do I own the GIF that is featured. I do hold ownership over the story itself, please do not re-post it anywhere. Thanks! <3

WARNINGS: female reader, angst

Reflecting back, it’s not the life you wanted at twenty years old. But you wouldn’t change anything either.

You and Naruto had started dating your senior year of high school, and that relationship was easily continued through your first years of college when you found out you were attending the same school. Your relationship went on smoothly. Until you hit a crossroad.

“I was offered a position on the national soccer team,” Naruto confessed to you one night while you were eating dinner at your place. This didn’t surprise you, he was a sensational soccer player. In fact, one of the reasons for attending the school you did was their amazing soccer program.

“What’d you say?” You questioned picking at your plate some more.

“That I needed time to think about it. They only gave me a day.” Naruto explained.

“I guess this is a good time to tell you, I was offered an apprenticeship at a studio. They liked my portfolio and want me to work with a design team to produce patterns for designers and work on art for magazines.” You explained to your boyfriend of three years. “Unfortunately that’s gonna take up the rest of my free time.” With this apprenticeship you would have more money in your pocket, Your current job and scholarships were enough to pay for school and average living expenses, but this was a chance to break into the graphic design business and gain some recognition. You were majoring in English currently, too scared of the possibilities of not having a job after graduation. Even though designing was something you enjoyed and were lucky to have the opportunity to continue doing it.

“So what now?” Naruto asked setting his fork down and looking at you.

“Maybe.” You started hesitantly, not really wanting to finish the thought. “Maybe we should… break up?” You ended with an upward tilt to your voice, clearly showing your hesitation. After saying that you stared at your plate. Not wanting to see his reaction.

“Yeah. I- I think that may be for the best.” Naruto responded with reservation.

So the two of you made the hardest decision possible. After discussing it for a few hours you both realized that neither of you would have time to invest in a relationship, which wasn’t fair to either of you. But you both wanted to stay friends. It was still a commitment to each other, but not one that would be drastically strained due to distance.

With that conclusion reached, the two of you went to bed and spent one last night together as a couple. Desperately, you clutched to each other through your passion filled night. The both of you aware that when the morning came, it would be over and you would each walk separate paths.

And separately you walked. Naruto left the city to join his new team and start his training, and you started your new job. For the first three weeks, you talked regularly. Neither of you had it in your schedules to talk during the day, but at night as you were winding down you would message one another for an hour. Periodically sprinkled in between were some brief phone calls about things that were hard to convey over text or simply from being too excited to text. Then around the fourth week, the messages were less and less. One night as you were scrolling through Instagram you came across pictures he posted from a night out. Surrounded by booze and immaculately beautiful models. Even though the two of you were broken up … that stung. The next day you tried to send him a picture of a new pattern you had been working on. He always enjoyed seeing your art and you had been sending him all of your designs and always received positive feedback. Until now.

Naruto had never left you on ‘read’, this may have stung more than seeing the models. You two had been so close, even if you were no longer dating you thought you would at least be friends. The entire week went on like that. You tried to reach out at least once every day. A few texts, some of your designs, and even a picture of your dinner from his favorite ramen shop. Nothing worked.

After a week of trying, you gave up. The stress over the situation was literally making you sick. To the point where you weren’t keeping down anything after eating. Then you were getting sick in the morning too. A stomach bug you said when you called into work and your internship.

“I don’t know. It’s almost been a week, I think you should go to the hospital.” Sakura said. The two of you had gone out the night before and now you were laying out on your couch clutching your trashcan.

“Well, this might just be the flu or something.” You said pushing your hair back. Sakura sat down next to you and placed her hand on your forehead.

“No. That’s it, I’m taking you to the hospital.” She said standing you up and moving you along with her.

The two of you walked down the street to the train, you leaning against her the entire time and her supporting you in return. Sitting there you felt miserable. Each bump and jostle left your stomach lurching again. The 15-minute ride felt like it went on for 15 hours until you arrived at your stop and stumbled off the train. Glad to be on solid ground again, the two of you walked to the hospital.

“Sakura! I thought you were off today?” One of the nurses asked.

“Yeah, but I had to force my friend to come into the hospital. She’s not feeling too great right now.” Sakura explained to her after she placed you in a chair.

That’s where you sat filling out paperwork until it was time to see the doctor. You waited an hour before you were called back. With your symptoms, they decided to do a blood test to figure it out. And the results weren’t what you expected.

“Congratulations miss. You are pregnant.” The doctor said after looking at the paperwork in hand.

“Wh - What!?” You questioned.

“Yup, the sickness and the fatigue is not from the flu but because you are with a child my dear.”

You heard the words but didn’t process them. In fact, you were currently clutching to Sakura. Knowing she would be able to reiterate the information the doctor was currently rattling off now to you later.

“Hey.” Sakura nearly shouted your name to gain your attention. “Are you okay?” She asked with a concerned look on her face. It was at this point you realized you were no longer in the hospital.

“Uhm, yeah, I think so.” You said looking at the pamphlets you had acquired at some point.  “Or at least I will be.” This changed everything. Literally everything. “I just need some time to think.”

“Hmm, let’s get you home then,” Sakura said wrapping her arm around your shoulder and walking down the street with you.

When you got back to your place Sakura made you soup for lunch. Then the two of you sat on the couch. Honestly, you were glad to have her as your best friend, you weren’t sure how this would have gone without her.

But it’s been a few months since then, and now you were nearing the end of your second trimester. You had to give up quite a bit. You switched to taking online classes and quit your internship after you had enough money to pay for all that you needed in your nursery. You changed jobs from the high-end cafe you were working into an editing job. Granted you were low man on the totem pole so all you really did was review and edit and edit and review. But it was a job you could do from home, and being a single mother that was perfect for you.

“Does he know about the baby?” Sakura asked. She had tagged along with you to your ultrasound today. And now you were getting ice cream.

“Nope.” You said licking at your cone.

“Sweetie why not? He should know.” Sakura said eating her own frozen dessert.

“No, he went off and is living his life, and honestly” you stopped and sat in thought for a moment. “We broke up to follow our dreams. My dreams changed.” You explained rubbing your stomach. “I don’t want to force him to change his.”

“But you should give him a chance to decide.” Sakura chided.

“He hasn’t returned any of my messages in months. I’m done trying to get him to listen.” You stated.

“Okay. Okay. I didn’t mean to stress you out.” She back peddled.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”  You sighed resting your head on her shoulder. “I’m stressed, I didn’t mean to snap at you. Thank you for coming with me today, and every other time.”

“Haha, no problem. I’m glad to go with you. And I am so excited to see my god-son every chance I get!” She exclaimed leaning in close to you and placing her hands on your stomach and leaning in to nuzzle it as well. “Now, let’s get your mama home.” She said standing up and helping you up to walk home.

Sakura had been your largest support pillar. From day one she had been by your side. Every doctor’s appointment, the mornings you spent curled on the floor, and even your first ultrasound (which you cried at). She was even there when you went into labor. And through the twenty-two-hour process.

“OH! No, no no no. Sakura, Ah-I I can’t!” You said struggling through the next contraction.

“Yes, yes you can. You can do it, you HAVE to do it. Your son needs you right now.” She said wiping the sweat and tears from your face.

And you did, you brought your son Asahi into the world. Your beautiful son with your eyes and nose and bright blonde hair. And you loved him.

So that’s where you found yourself a year later.

You were now 20-years old, Asahi had recently turned one, marking almost two years without talking to Naruto. And you were fine. You had your son and that was your sole focus. You had a year and a half left until you graduated and your classes were going really well. Not only that, but you moved up in your job. Being a top editor meant you made more money with more leadership opportunities and could work on larger projects.

Presently, you had finally laid your one-year-old down for bed and now it was time to clean. You started on laundry, no one told you how dirty the clothes of a one-year-old could get. Asahi had three wardrobe changes today, and now that he was walking he managed to find messes all over the place. Once the washing machine was running you went into the living room and began to pick up Asahi's toys that were strewn across the floor. When those were put away you shook out the rug in the middle of the room before grabbing your broom to sweep up all the dirt and cracker crumbs. By the time the living room was cleaned up, it was time to rotate laundry. You placed the clean clothes into the dryer then started on the dishes. When those were washed and put away it was 9:00pm (2 hours after you put Asahi down), and now time for you to get to work.

You pulled out your laptop and began to diligently comb through the newest manuscript you had been sent. You did this for about an hour before you got up to stretch and get a cup of tea. Then it was back to work.

Soon the clock rolled around to 11:00pm and you had managed to breeze through 8 chapters before a loud pounding came to your door. Your apartment was in a decent part of town, although that didn't mean you were eager to open the door this late at night. The pounding came again and you decided to check it before the person woke your son up. Looking through the peep-hole you saw bright blond hair. Then the blond hair moved back and revealed familiar features. You threw open your door and stared in disbelief.

"Naruto?" You sternly questioned the man in front of you.

"HEY!” He yelled stumbling towards you. “You still live here! And you are looking good! Oh, It’s been so long.” He said leaning against your door frame.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him attempting to keep him upright.

“Hehe, I’m drunk and I forgot where my hotel was. And I need a place to stay, so I came here! Do you have any ramen?” He slurred stumbling around you, into your apartment and straight to your kitchen.

“Ah, Naruto I don’t think-” You started, closing and locking your door behind you.

“Hey! I found it!” He yelled.

“Okay, okay, I will make it for you. Just please, go sit on the couch and be quiet.” You said placing your hand on his arm and guiding towards the living room.

“Mmm. Okay,” Naruto said placing a kiss to your cheek and stumbling off to the couch. You fixed up a bowl of instant ramen for him, you still remembered how he liked it, and brought it out to him. The blond quickly sucked it down and handed the bowl back to you. “Thank you. It was really tasty.” He softly murmured leaning against you.

Soon enough he fell asleep pressed against you. You cautiously slipped out from under him and positioned one of the throw pillows in your place. Staring at your ex you shook your head and sighed before turning off the lights and going to your own bed.

“Mama!” That is what woke you up. At 6 o’clock in the morning. Even on Saturdays, you couldn’t get a break. Giving a groan you rolled out of your bed and walked down the hall to your son’s room.

“Morning my love.” You said picking up Asahi and pressing a kiss to his face, smiling when he returned the action effectively smearing slobber all over your cheek. You were still working on “nice kisses”, but he was improving. After that, you placed him on his changing table and got him into a fresh diaper. “There, all better. Are you ready for some breakfast?” You asked the toddler.

“Mm-Mm-Mm!” He excitedly responded while bouncing in your arms. “Bah- Bah!!” Asahi loudly demanded as soon as you walked into the kitchen.

“Okay, mama will get your bottle in a moment.” You told him placing him in his high-chair. You got started on his breakfast of toddler porridge and blueberries, along with making his bottle. “Alright big boy, time to eat!” You said as you placed his breakfast on his tray then pulled off his PJ shirt leaving him in his diaper. Breakfast was his messiest meal of the day and you learned it was easier to put him in the bath after he ate than washing his clothes every day.

“‘Ank ‘ou mama,” Asahi said diving into his bowl of food.

“Mmm, you’re welcome baby.” You said pressing a kiss to his head before going back to the kitchen to make your own breakfast and coffee. You were leaning against the counter sipping on your coffee and eating your toast with eggs when another noise caught your attention.

“Ooft, that was some night! Huh? How’d I get here?” You hear Naruto question before you also hear the springs of the couch creak.

“Morning,” You said as Naruto peeked into the kitchen

“Uh, hey.” He awkwardly responded, scratching the back of his head.

“Sleep well?” You questioned.

“Y-yeah, thanks for letting me crash here.” He said keeping his distance.

“No problem, not like I was gonna make you sleep outside on the ground.” You responded with a small smile and handed him a cup of coffee and a plate of toast and eggs. “How are you feeling?”

“A little hungover but no worse for wear,” Naruto replied taking the mug from you before falling into a silence. Though it didn’t last long.

“Mama!” Asahi screamed from the other room indicating he was done with his food. You placed your cup down and walked over to your dining area. Grabbing a wet wipe you quickly wiped his face and hands before picking him up and carrying him back to the kitchen. You leaned back up against the counter with your son now in your arms and fell back into silence.

“You, uh, you have a kid?” Naruto questioned in disbelief his food and drink now forgotten.

“Yeah, about that, we need to talk.” You said hesitantly. At that moment Asahi turned around and yelled.

“Dada!” before attempting to lunge from your arms. Asahi knew who his father was, you had shown him pictures and talked about Naruto with him (Leaving out the negatives). Lucky enough, you wrangled him in before he fell.

“S-surprise.” You stuttered out, hugging your son closer to you.

“He. He’s mine?” Naruto questioned in disbelief.

“Yeah,” You quietly replied. “Uh, Naruto. Meet Asahi Uzumaki.” You said almost using your son as a shield.

For the first time since you had known him, Naruto was stock still and deathly quiet. His arms were crossed and you could tell the gears were turning in his head.

“Why. Didn’t you. Tell me?” He practically growled. It was a tone you hadn’t heard before.

“I. I tried -”

“You tried! How!?” He yelled startling you and Asahi.

“I sent you a message! You didn’t respond!” You yelled back.

“A text! That was it! You said ‘I need to tell you something’ then didn’t say anything.”

“You! Didn’t! Respond! What was I supposed to think?” It was at this point that Asahi was getting fussy with all of the yelling and there was a knock at the door. “Ugh!” You exclaimed storming over to the door and throwing it open.

“Hey! There’s my handsome man!” Sakura exclaimed as she swooped in and plucked her godson from your arms and placing kisses all his exposed belly. “Why are you still in your pajamas? I thought we were going to the park today?” She asked looking at you and noticing the frown on your face. Then seeing the twenty-one-year-old  behind you. “Oh, Naruto, what are you doing here?” She tenderly questioned unaware of the situation.

“Sakura knew too?” Naruto questioned from behind you. You took a deep breath pressing your fingers to mouth before speaking again.

“Asahi, do you wanna go to the park with aunty Sakura?” You cooed to the little man.

“Yeah!” He cried wiggling to get down. Sakura placed him on the ground and held his hand assisting him to walk back towards his room. You watched the two of them leave before turning to your ex.

“I’m gonna go get him ready, then we can talk.” You said before turning and following after Sakura and Asahi. You quickly got him dressed and packed the diaper bag up before leading Asahi and Sakura outside. Sakura placed her hand on your shoulder giving a gentle squeeze.

“I’ll talk to you later.” She said before grabbing the diaper bag and picking up Asahi. You gently closed the door before facing Naruto. You gesture to the couch and follow him to the furniture. The two of you sat there as the minutes passed. Not saying anything.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Naruto finally asked hunched over with his face in his hands.

“I tried to. But you hadn’t responded to any of my messages in so long. So I sent one last message.” You tried to explain.

“I was trying to get over you,” Naruto said turning his attention to you. “We broke up. We both decided on going our separate ways, and it didn’t feel like it if we kept messaging.” With him looking at you, you could see the tears in his eyes.

“I was so tired of trying, and trying, and trying, and not going anywhere. So I quit. And I know. Goodness I know I should have told you. But you were off living your life. And you finally reached your dreams, and how could I ruin that?” You asked tears streaming down your face now too.

“I would have dropped out, I didn’t have to go off a play.” Naruto pleaded with you.

“That is my point.” You responded taking a hold of his hands. “You worked so hard to get there, and I couldn’t take that from you.”

“But it was my choice to make.” He said back grabbing your hands in his and holding tight “You should have let me make it.”

“I know, and I’m sorry about it.” You said falling into another silence.

That’s how you two sat for twenty minutes. Just looking at each other.

“I want to be involved in his life,” Naruto said. “My season is almost over. Then we have a three-month break. And I will be in town for the next two weeks.” He explained.

“I’d like for you to be involved. And for you to officially meet your son.” You said with a smile.

“And I want to get back to where we used to be. I’ve missed you.” Naruto confessed leaning in.

“I’ve missed you too.” You replied with a smile. It was then that Naruto wrapped you up in a bone crushing hug. Things were looking better. Sakura came back with Asahi and you promised to talk to her later. After that, you officially introduced Naruto to his son. And he was a natural! Playing with Asahi brought the brightest smile to your face. Naruto happily sat on the floor and played with Asahi while you got dressed. It was only when you came out from your room when you were greeted with Naruto holding Asahi out in front of him.

“What?” You questioned.

“He- uh- he stinks,” Naruto said while pulling a face, causing you to laugh.

“Your first dirty diaper! C’mon ‘papa’ I’ll show you.” You said dragging him into Asahi’s room. “Welcome to fatherhood, better get used to it.” You said once the poopy diaper had been changed.

That was the start of your family forming again. With more discussing and negotiating, you were able to convince Naruto to keep playing. With Asahi being a year old it would be easy to travel with him to visit Naruto while he was out of town. Not only that, it was easy with your job.

After a few months of dating again, you asked Naruto to move in. He said yes, he was either traveling for soccer or over at your place anyways, so it didn’t make sense to either of you to keep paying rent on a place he was never at. Then, shortly after Asahi’s second birthday, Naruto proposed. You said yes, obviously, and your family was complete.

Now you were twenty-two years old, You finally graduated and got a promotion at work along with your degree. You had a rambunctious two-year-old and a loving husband. It wasn’t the ideal start, but it was the perfect finish.

[annemareads97]

Short story! Pls read <3

Since I got quite a few positive responses, I’ve decided to go ahead and post some of my past assignments - although I won’t do any editing before posting them, meaning what I post is the same as what I handed in.

This first one is a roughly 2200 word short story which I did for my Fictional Writing module. Enjoy!

To Die For

   Getting a degree hadn’t really been something Jonathan specifically wanted, rather, it was what was expected of him. He’d always done well in school, so when the time came for his classmates to apply for universities, he found himself doing the same. His mum had been so proud when he got his first unconditional offer back, and his dad had mumbled something that almost sounded encouraging. They had been ever so disappointed in his older sister when she decided to go off to London to “try to make it” as an actress. He still spoke to her, and so far, all she really did was work three part-time jobs.

   Jonathan’s family had always had money. Growing up, he had everything he could ever want, to the point where his classmates kept looking at him as “that spoiled rich kid”, despite the fact that he never shoved his wealth in their faces. It didn’t really matter in the long run, though. Sure, he might not have had loads of friends, but they weren’t really worth his time anyway. They were all so stupid and, well... childish.

   Now, here he was, starting his first year at a university he didn’t really like, studying something he wasn’t really interested in. But again, that didn’t matter. Nothing really did. As long as his parents didn’t throw him out, everything would be fine. He was sure of it.

   “Hey, Jonny-boy, you gonna join us tonight or what?”

   “Jonny-boy” rolled his eyes at his flat-mate. Imbeciles, the lot of them. “What’s tonight?”

   “Well, it’s the Full Moon Party, innit?” Gregg grinned.

   Jonathan sighed. “That’s just stupid - the full moon was two nights ago”, he muttered.

   “What was that?”

   “I said: you have fun with that. I, however, have better things to spend my time on than fraternising with a bunch of drunk teenagers making decisions they’ll regret in the morning.”

   Gregg stared at him for a bit with that empty stare of his, until Jonathan took pity on the other boy. “That means thanks, but no thanks. Oh, and try not to get too smashed, will you? I am not cleaning up the kitchen floor one more time.”

   They’d been here for three days, and Jonathan was already regretting living in halls. He considered calling up his dad and telling him that he couldn’t possibly be expected to study in such an environment - maybe his parents would get him a flat down in town - but, no. He wasn’t really on speaking-terms with his father at the moment, still angry that he had cut off any funding for Elizabeth.

   “Yeah, no worries, mate”, Gregg smiled. How was he always so happy? “You really oughta come with us some time, though. Fresher’s Week is only once in your life.”

   “Sure thing, Gregg.”

   His first week of classes was soon coming to an end, and Jonathan had still to meet anyone intelligent enough to befriend. As had really been a problem his entire life... Maybe he ought to lower his standards a bit?

   Just as he was contemplating whether or not he might be the problem, the chair beside him was pulled out, and a girl sat down.

   “...can I help you?”

   The girl turned to look at him, surprised. “What, this seat’s not taken, is it?”

   “Noo...” Jonathan trailed off. No one had willingly sat with him yet, and there were still loads of free seats in the classroom. He supposed he shouldn’t question it, though. Perhaps this girl was his chance.

   “Great”, she smiled at him - a smile that made something stir deep in his stomach. “Then I’m gonna sit here.”

   “Okay...”

   Now that he was really looking at her, he could see that was actually really pretty - in an understated way. She wasn’t one of those typical “popular” girls, but he thought she could have been, if she had dressed the part. Instead, she wore a simple pinstriped button-up shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans. Her mousy-brown hair was bunched up into a messy bun, and she wore a pair of old-fashioned, squared glasses, the kind that was popular these days. She looked professional, much more so than any other student he had met so far, and he had to admit he was slightly impressed at her style.

   “I’m Hannah, by the way. Hannah Brown”, she interrupted his musings, sticking out a hand to him.

   He took it automatically, hoping she didn’t notice that his hands had gone clammy. “I’m uhm... Jonathan”, he stuttered. Her hand was really soft. “Jonathan Campbell.”

   “Nice to meet you, Jonathan Campbell.”

   There was a sparkle in her eyes, he noticed then, just before he realized that he’d been staring at her. He hastily looked away, just in time for the tutor to enter the room.

   Throughout the class, he kept sneaking glances at this girl, at Hannah. Never before had he noticed someone in this way. He’d never really connected with anyone, except for his sister who had all but raised him. But this was different. He understood, all of a sudden. All those songs and poems and stories, everyone going on about racing hearts and butterflies in your stomach.

   He glanced over at the girl beside him once more, and this time she was already looking at him. He blushed, looking away quickly, but not before seeing the smile she gave him.

   Yeah. He got it now.

   They didn’t really speak after class. Hannah seemed to be an attentive student, which, of course, just made her all the worthier of Jonathan’s attention. But Jonathan wasn’t really used to this weird need to impress, so he did what anyone would do in his situation.

   He packed up his things and fled the room.

   Upon returning to halls, Gregg was the only of his flat-mates there, as per usual. Jonathan considered simply turning around and heading to his room, but decided he’d generally been a bit mean towards Gregg - and he still kept trying to be nice to him for some reason.

   “Yo, Jonny! My man!”

   Jonathan closed his eyes, let out a heavy sigh, and silently counted to three. “Hi Gregg. How are you?”

   “Mate, why you always so proper-like?” Gregg asked, chuckling.

   Jonathan shot his flat-mate a tight smile. “Just the way I was raised, I suppose. We can’t all be chavs, can we?”

   He regretted the words as soon as they were uttered, and Gregg gasped loudly. “You calling me a chav?”

   “Well, I-”

   “Mate! And here I thought you were no fun!” the other boy guffawed, clearly taking the comment in stride, which made Jonathan wonder briefly if the boy tried to act like a chav. “Hey, what you studying again? I keep forgetting.”

   It shouldn’t be too hard to remember what your five flat-mates were studying, but Jonathan opted not to voice that thought. “I’m doing law”, he answered simply. “You’re sports coaching, right? How you finding your classes?”

   Gregg laughed again. “Nah, mate, I haven’t even been to any yet!”

   Jonathan blinked in silence. Gregg may be nice enough, but he must have been one of the dumbest people on campus.

   All throughout the following week, Jonathan found himself looking forward to his Friday-afternoon lecture. He couldn’t stop thinking about Hannah - there was just something about her. If she sat by him again, he decided, he was going to talk to her. Only, when he entered the classroom five minutes before the lecture was set to start, Hannah was already there, deep in conversation with another girl. He tried not to feel disappointed - after all, it wasn’t like they were friends. Instead, he found himself a seat in the back of the classroom and sullenly got his books out.

   He didn’t pay any attention to the tutor. For three hours, he sat there, staring at the back of Hannah’s head. He barely even noticed that class was finished - and the only reason he did notice was because Hannah started packing up her things. He hurriedly got his own things together and stood to leave just as Hannah turned his was.

   “Jonathan Campbell!” she exclaimed. “Didn’t see you there! Why didn’t you come say hi?”

   Jonathan sputtered out an attempt at a response. Is that what he should have done? Just gone up to her and said something?

   “Oh, well. At least you’re here now”, Hannah smiled widely. “I was wondering - have you started your essay yet? You see, I was thinking we could work on it together. If you don’t mind, that is.”

   “Yes. No. I mean, yes, I have started, but I still have quite a bit left, so- well, we could work together, I suppose. I’m not really used to working with anybody, though, and I don’t really see how it would benefit either of us. It’s not like I can do it for you. I mean, I could, but I won’t. That is, you should do your own essay... But I suppose it wouldn’t- wouldn’t hurt to do it together. Or, you know, not together together, but in the same room, at the same time... Working... So... yes. My answer is yes. I- I think I’d like that...”

   Jonathan blinked stupidly. Had he just said all of that? He never rambled. Never. God, what was this girl doing to him?

   A giggle broke him out of his trance. “Okay then”, Hannah laughed. “Give me your number, and I’ll text you when I’m free. Sound good?”

   He nodded - a bit too eager, perhaps, but what the hell. If he hadn’t scared her off with that monologue, he doubted he could do worse.

   Three days passed before he heard anything from Hannah, but on Monday, he finally got a text from an unknown number.

   Hey! You free this afternoon? Around 4-ish? xx Hannah

   His heart skipped a beat as he read the message, grinning to himself. She added kisses. Was that a thing she did to everyone, or was he special? Jonathan had never really texted a girl before, so he wasn’t sure how much he should read into it. He quickly shook himself from that train of thought. She’s just a girl, he silently chided himself.

   Sure, he texted back. Meet at the library?

   The reply came quickly.

   See you there! xx

   When Jonathan arrived at the library, Hannah was already sat at a table with her laptop and two lidded paper-cups. The girl seemed to brighten as soon as she saw him approaching.

   “Hiya, Jonathan Campbell!”

   He smiled shyly at her as he took a seat. “How come you always call me by my full name?” he asked. It was a detail he had noted the first time it happened, but he hadn’t felt like he could ask before now.

   Hannah shot him a secretive smile - a smile that, for some reason, made him feel a bit uneasy. “I just want to remember your name, is all. Jonathan Campbell.”

   He nodded slowly at her nonsensical answer. And the way she had said his name right then sounded almost... ominous.

   “Right”, he muttered. “Should we get started then? How far have you gotten on your essay?”

   The girl hummed softly as she opened up her laptop. “Oh, not far.”

   She left it at that, and they both started to work in silence. Jonathan tried his best to read the situation. Hannah seemed different somehow. Well, he didn’t really know her yet, he supposed, but there was just... something.

   “That other coffee is for you, by the way”, her voice sounded after a few minutes, and he looked up to meet her vigorous gaze.

   “Oh. I- Well, that’s nice of you, but I don’t really... drink coffee”, he answered apologetically.

   “You don’t... Oh. Well”, she trailed off, seeming rather put off by this statement. “I could get us tea instead!” she suddenly exclaimed.

   What?

   “You don’t have to-”

   “No, no, it’s really not a problem”, she brushed him off, starting to make her way to the hot drink machine before he could get another word in. She came back with another two cups and handed him one. He smiled tightly at her, thanking her, but she just stood there for a bit, staring expectantly. Hesitantly, he put the cup to his lips, pretending to take a sip. She finally sat back down, seeming pleased with this action.

   Well. That was... not a good thing, was it? A pity, he supposed. It had seemed like she had such potential. His infatuation with her, however, was gone as soon as it had come.

   The pair got back to work, only talking a few times to bounce ideas off each other. Eventually, Hannah excused herself to go to the bathroom, and that’s when Jonathan made his move, switching their cups. Hannah had only taken a sip or two, so she would hardly notice the difference.

   When she returned once more, Jonathan made a show of taking a sip of his - her? - cup. “It’s good tea”, he said, and Hannah’s answering grin sent a shiver up his spine.

   “Oh, absolutely”, the girl replied enthusiastically, lifting her own cup to take a drink. “It’s simply to die for.”

You didn’t say anything about whether or not you wanted to be tagged when I did post, but thanks for the support guys! @moonbow-ink @robin-sidereus @moved-my-blog @aeniith @parttimewriter-fulltimefangirl @delerious-wordsmith @runningoutofbooks @serpencina @ajtorres0

[sol1056]

I think all yall choreograph the asks or something. I seem to get the same topic in batches. This time, two non-anon and one anon (not counting DMs even), so I’m just going to wrap it all up together since there was a lot of overlap. 

behind the cut: where I get ideas, beta readers, writing ahead, writing fast, editing fast, dealing with OCs, writing emotional scenes, and how I learned to write. questions about publishing and agents will be in the followup.

where do you get your ideas

the ‘what if’ questions. the source might vary -- a story if it’s fanfic, or history if it’s profic. by what-if, I mean a throwaway comment, implication, plot hole, gap, or missed chance. what if the characters end canon with this other dynamic, what if the protagonist goes left instead of right at a crucial moment, what if Lý Chiêu Hoàng hadn’t been deposed as queen regnant, what if Nobunaga had survived the attack at Honnō-ji, what if Nyi Roro Kidul had founded her own people, etc. 

from there, I stage that moment in my head like a fractal, seeking out the most interesting ways everything could go wrong. what I'm looking for is an image, a bit of dialogue, capturing that moment of sacrifice, betrayal, a twist in some way. this either ends up as the precipitating event, the midpoint, or the finale (basically one of the three pivotal emotional points). then I work backwards from there. for ffic, I need to figure out how characters get from canon to that point; for profic, I figure out what kind of characters would end up there. 

do you have a beta reader

uhm. not really? I’ve asked for help a few times, when I’m not sure of a particular characterization, but other than the first chapter of Bonds (for reasons I’ll explain in the followup), I don’t usually bother. after all, it’d be horribly rude to send off a chapter and then expect anyone to respond inside of a week. let alone a few days. I envy people who have the patience to wait on a beta reader ‘cause I feel like their stories are tighter as a result, but since there are small amazonian frogs with more patience than me, I figure what I write must stand or fall on its own.

however, I do tend to bestow snippets liberally on whomever’s talking to me online while I write, and I pay attention to their reactions. in fanfic, I’ll also sometimes run a scenario past a few people to see if their gut instinct on a characterization matches mine. that might be a kind of narrow-focus beta reading, maybe.

do you write some/all before you post

nope. I totally post-as-I-go (and yes that does mean at some point I was writing about 6K nightly, I’m not proud). if you said I had to write the entire thing, edit carefully, review, even let it sit for awhile before posting, I’d probably hurt something. or I’d just explode from the enforced waiting.

for profic first draft (or fanfic final draft, same thing), I plan 2-3 chapters in advance. then I write until the word count hits 6K or so, call it a chapter, post, and start on the next chapter. I do that until I run out of plan. then I assess again, figure out the next few chapters’ plan, and repeat until the story feels done.

how do you write so fast 

because a) I type fast, and b) you’re reading what’s effectively the first draft. writing that first go-round is always quick. I just sit down and spit out words. it’s polishing it into profic-levels, that editing phase, that can take weeks, even months. I’ve written pivotal scenes from scratch five, six, seven times if that’s what it takes. you’re just benefiting from my laziness with fanfic, basically.

how do you edit so fast

actually, I don’t. I tend to do it in fits and starts. even fanfic, if you compared first version posted with the current version, you’ll find changes here and there. mostly smoothing choppy parts, disambiguating, or just clarifying a muddy description. sometimes readers report a phrase felt wrong, or didn’t make sense, and I’ll tweak the offending line. 

there are tricks to make it easier, though. 

for profic, I write in scrivener, with a font of Open Sans, Lato, or Avenir, depending on my mood. a first pass of editing for the glaring issues, then I shift to full-screen display and change the font to Baskerville Old Face, Perpetua, or Oregon LDO. the radical font-change means sentences don’t end visually where they did before, and the serif element means I have to slow down slightly to read, a lot more will leap out at me. with fanfic, I write in google docs and post in AO3, but otherwise the font-changing process is similar.  

how do you keep OCs from taking over

an OC is just a character who was -- or might’ve been -- in canon but had no lines. they’re third person from the left, in that crowd scene in episode 17. they occupy the same world, and they have a story of their own -- it’s just not this story. they have a goal, but the core question is: does their goal support or conflict with the protagonist? there’s the tension those OCs can provide. 

on a more basic level, just don’t give them POV, and remember they exist to push the protagonist forward, or hold the protagonist back. if the reverse happens -- the protagonist pushes the OC forward, or holds the OC back -- then you’ve made the OC a major character and now the story’s warping to suit their goals. the focus must remain on the protagonist; it’s their story, after all.  

how do you write a character’s emotion so the reader feels it

use restraint. a scene’s strongest emotion lies in the gaps between what the characters are telling and what they’re showing. restraint is how you create those gaps.

avoid the impulse to ever say the character feels anger, feels joy. instead, have the character do something or say something that expresses the emotion. 

also, either we acknowledge an emotion, or we don’t. the first has no conflict, kiss of death for tension. the second, though, that’s basically a fight scene: the conflict is between the character and their own emotions. the key is choosing between word and deed to show the character’s purpose (narration or dialogue vs action). whatever’s left becomes the other half of the conflict. 

use scent, taste, sensation, sight, sound to project the emotion, distance it from the character. like, they can breathe fine but the air is stuffy. their hand isn’t shaking; the paper just won’t hold still. leave it to the reader to draw a line between the narrative’s tone and the character’s mental/emotional state.  

second, keep the sentences relatively short. think of the jump cuts in a filmed fight scene (or sex scene) -- you don’t need to see every move. that gets boring, fast. show only enough for the reader to connect the dots; what they put in the gaps will always be far more powerful for them than anything you'll achieve when spelling it all out. 

here’s the real challenge, and one of the hardest kinds of scenes to write (but so satisfying when you nail it) -- a character who acknowledges one emotion while denying the truth beneath. this is the character who’s furious but refuses to admit the hurt powering that anger. or the character who’s happy on the surface but jealous or broken-hearted beneath.  

my advice: overwrite the scene, take it to eleven... and then go back and cut one line in every four of dialogue, then do the same in the narrative. keep only the strongest lines. do another pass. keep going until the scene is down to a quarter the original length, and see what you’ve got. 

how do you write so well

err, okay, setting aside the discomfort of being asked that -- ‘cause I see flaws all over the place, starting with just plain overwriting, srsly, is that word count really necessary -- whatever skill I do have, I learned in one simple way.  

by critiquing other writers, and getting critiques in turn.

not beta-readers -- my experience with beta readers is that they don’t really tackle the story, though they may comment on characterization. mostly I’ve only ever gotten line edits (spelling, grammar, punctuation) and... that’s not really a critique, that’s a copy editor’s work. it’s valuable, but not what I mean.

a critique analyzes the work. they mark illogical or unrealistic dialogue, note missed opportunities for rising tension, point out potential plot holes or discrepancies. a good critique is sensitive to spikes and lulls in the pacing, and at a line-level it’s often attuned to repetition or ambiguity in word choice, muddy metaphors, even the ‘sound’ of the prose.

for every critique you do, you’re training your inner editor. I don’t catch everything (certainly never on the first pass), but having a stronger inner editor means being able to reflexively identify weaknesses. plus, exposure to other stories teaches you ways to fix those mistakes. to the point I sometimes edit as I write ‘cause I can already see what needs fixing.  

lastly

if you want to write better, read better. critique everything. 

this is not criticism, this is critique. this is why I post meta about whatever I’m reading/watching. by approaching a story through that analytical lens, I can peel apart what works (for me) and what fails (for me) and study my reaction. the goal is to duplicate what works and avoid what doesn’t.

you can’t learn to build a car engine just by looking at the outside of a car, after all. you gotta get in there, get the dirt and grease up to your elbows. take it down to the bolts, understand how it got put together. the same goes for writing. never be afraid to take apart anyone’s stories to see how they work. 

and then, go write.

[nataliecaves]

Bittersweet Symphony: Chapter 3 - Surprise

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 4  chapter 5 chapter 6  chapter 7

Fandom: Riverdale Pairing: Sweet Pea x Natalie Caves (OC) Summary: Natalie Caves lives a seemingly perfect life, but after spending a summer at her uncle’s, everything changes. Word Count: 2844 A/N: Finally I finished this chapter! Thanks to @kytty27 for editing and helping me out xxxx I hope you enjoy it :)

READ ON AO3

Natalie stood frozen in front of Riverdale High. It was her first day, and she had never been as anxious about anything before. She looked around, noticing a few students arriving, watching her cautiously. You’re being stupid, it’s going to be fine. She took a deep breath, straightened her shirt and made her way up the stairs. She entered into a long hallway, filled with lockers and tired students. Unsure of what to do, walked slowly down the hallway, trying her best to avoid bumping into someone.

“You must be Natalie Caves!” an excited voice appeared behind her. Natalie turned around and saw a beautiful raven haired girl smiling with her hand reached out to her.

“That’s me.” Natalie smiled and shook the girl’s hand.

“I am Veronica Lodge, and this is Kevin Keller,” the girl pointed to a boy standing next to her who waved, “and we offered to show you around today!”

Lodge. As in Lodge Industries? “Oh! That’s nice of you, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. I don’t want to-”

“Nonsense!” Veronica interrupted and locked her arm with Natalie’s. “This is gonna be great!” she gushed, grabbing Natalie’s arms and started dragging her down the hallway, Kevin following close behind.

Veronica led her to the principal's office to get Natalie’s schedule as well as her locker information. Veronica and Kevin were thrilled to see that they shared a few classes, and to Natalie’s relief, Veronica was in her Chemistry class first period. Kevin gave her a short hug before turning the other way, leaving Natalie alone with Veronica.

“So, how do you like our little town so far?” Veronica smirked, nudging her arm as the two girls walked towards their classroom.

“It’s… okay, I guess,” Natalie smiled. “I’ve only been here for a few days so my opinion is still neutral.”

“It’s pretty shitty compared to Boston or New York, but I promise you, you’re gonna like it.” Veronica laughed and halted to a stop. They were standing outside a classroom Natalie figured to be for their Chemistry class.

“Cute necklace by the way.” she winked, tilting her head slightly before turning around to open the door.

Natalie took the dog tag in her hand and smiled at her new friend. Veronica looked a lot like the girls from her old school, but she was friendlier and nicer. Natalie was glad to at least have one person she could talk to, even though it might not have been the one person she wanted to talk to. Her thoughts trailed back to the last summer, a familiar sting appearing in her stomach as she thought of SP. She hated the fact that she couldn’t even call him, just to hear his voice, missing him more with each day that passed.

The girls entered the classroom and Natalie felt everyone’s eyes fixated on her. Being the new kid was going to be something getting used to.

“Everyone, listen up. This is Natalie Caves. She just moved here from Boston.” the teacher announced. Natalie stopped dead in her tracks, raising her hand up in an awkward wave. “Now, take a seat and open your books to page 263.”

Natalie nervously searched the room and spotted Veronica sitting down by a table in the back, an empty chair next to her. She walked awkwardly to the back of the room, sat down next to Veronica and searched her bag for her book.

“Natalie,” Veronica leaned closer to her and whispered, “this is Betty and Jughead.” she continued, nodding her head to the table next to them. A blonde girl with a ponytail was smiling at her, and next to her was a dark haired boy wearing a grey beanie that looked like a crown.

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you guys.” she whispered to the couple and smiled.

When first period was over, Natalie had English class. After Veronica told her where the classroom was, her and Betty disappeared down the hallway. Natalie sighed and started walking in the direction Veronica told her to go.

“English?” she heard someone say, and turned her head up to reveal the boy with the crown beanie.

“Yeah, you too?” she smiled. Jughead nodded and started walking beside her. “Great! I probably would’ve gotten lost.” Natalie laughed, earning a soft chuckle from the boy.

They walked in silence to the classroom and once they entered, Jughead walked straight up to a table at the front to sit down. “You can sit here if you want.” he offered, and Natalie gladly accepted.

Jughead didn’t seem very talkative which Natalie was glad for. There was nothing she hated more than forced conversations about something irrelevant. The class went by quickly and finally it was time for lunch. She followed Jughead outside towards a table by the fence and spotted Veronica, her arms wrapped around a boy with red hair she hadn’t seen before. Betty and Kevin were sitting across from them, in deep conversation.

“Natalie! Come meet Archie!” Veronica called out when she spotted her, a proud grin on her face. “Natalie, this is Archie. Archie, this is Natalie.”

Natalie greeted the group and sat down next to Veronica. Jughead sat down next to Betty who gave him a soft peck on the cheek.

The friend group started interrogating Natalie about her past, why she moved to Riverdale and how she felt about the school so far. Kevin was very interested in knowing about her love life, and Natalie’s thoughts wandered again to SP, a soft smile appearing on her face.

“That smile tells me there was someone special back home.” Veronica smirked, “Spill!”

Natalie’s smile quickly disappeared and her cheeks turned bright red. “There was no one, I swear!” she giggled, her hand reaching for the dog tag around her neck.

“Oh my god,” Kevin rolled his eyes and grinned, “I’ll leave you alone for now, but at some point, you’re gonna have to tell me the details.”

“So, tell me something interesting about Riverdale.” Natalie said, changing the subject from her whatever-it-was.

“Wow, where to begin?” Betty laughed.

“How long do we have? Half an hour?” Kevin joked, narrowing his eyes a bit before turning to Natalie. “Okay so last summer, this boy, Jason Blossom, was murdered.”

“What?! Oh my god.” Natalie gasped, “Did they find out who did it?”

“Oh, that’s the best part,” Jughead stated, “his own father pulled the trigger.”

“Jughead,” Betty hissed, before turning to Natalie. “It was tragic. He threatened Jug’s dad so he would cover it up…”

“And now he’s in jail.” Jughead said blankly.

The group told her the whole story, how Betty and Jughead found Jason’s car, and eventually a video of the event. Natalie was horrified. She couldn’t believe someone would do that, and to their own child for that matter. The bell rang and they assured her those horrifying days were over, before waving goodbye and heading to class.

Natalie didn’t share the rest of her classes with any of the group. She didn’t know if she should call them friends or not. Maybe they were just being nice since she was the new girl. When the school day was finally over, Natalie headed over to her locker to return her books, and found a note lying inside.

Meet at Pop’s after class - V

Natalie had been at Riverdale High for three weeks. So much had happened since her first day at school. She had gotten very close with Veronica as well as the rest of the group. The first week had been a bit weird. Natalie felt too awkward to try and make friends, but thankfully Veronica had been very consistent on integrating her into her friend group. It hadn’t been until the Pop’s incident, Natalie had felt like she was a part of a friendship. When Archie’s dad had been shot, Veronica had called her immediately and Natalie rushed to the hospital, staying there with the rest of her classmates, waiting patiently for any news of her friend’s father. Thankfully, he ended up fine.

Everything seemed to be going back to normal until Jughead transferred to Southside High. Midge and Moose were shot, describing a black hood and green eyes of the man holding the gun, the same description as the man who shot Archie’s father. Everything became so much more real after that. People were scared to go outside after dark, Alice Cooper was blaming the Southside for the attempted murders, publishing a letter someone left on her front porch.

“I am the wolf. You are the flock. This is the bloodletting.”

The words were still fast printed in Natalie’s brain. There was an actual psychopath in Riverdale, attempting to ‘clear the town of sinners’. It only became worse after Archie and the football team posted a video online, calling themselves the Red Circle, threatening the Black Hood. How stupid. Her mother had almost banned her from going to school, but thankfully her father talked her out of it.

Natalie was walking down the hallway looking for Betty. Betty had gone to the Blue & Gold office to get the mail, and hadn’t showed up to class. Natalie arrived outside the office and knocked lightly on the door before opening it carefully.

“Betty?”

Kevin and Betty were sitting by the desk, Kevin was obviously shocked because of something and Betty just looked at her blankly. Natalie stopped, debating if she should leave or not.

“Sorry, uhm, what’s going on?” she asked sheepishly. Kevin gestured her to close the door so she did, before sitting down next to him. “Did something happen?”

Betty didn’t say anything but handed her a letter and a paper with a cipher on it. Natalie scanned over the letter, her eyes widening with every word. “Jesus christ. This is seriously fucked up.” she huffed, handing Betty back the letter.

“My speech...” Betty took a deep breath, shaking her head, “...inspired him. That stupid speech I wrote.”

“So, the Black Hood was at the Jubilee.” Kevin said.

“The entire town was there!”

“We should give this to Kevin’s dad.” Natalie offered, swallowing the fear that started to flow through her. Shit.

“The cipher, yeah, sure. But not the letter.” Betty’s voice was shaky and nervous. “This- This is just… for me. We can’t tell anyone about it.”

“This is evidence!” Kevin argued, and turned his head to Natalie for support.

“I- I don’t know...” Natalie muttered. She understood why Betty didn’t want to give the letter to the sheriff, but at the same time, it seemed like a bad idea not to.

Kevin and Betty argued some more about what to do with the letter and Betty explained how this was obviously a test, meant only for her. Kevin finally gave in and the trio left the office in silence, tension forming with each step they took.

The rest of the day, Natalie felt numb. Was this really happening? Betty did give her mother the cipher and the day after, it was on the front page of the newspaper. Natalie decided not to go to school that day. She’d rather stay at home with her own thoughts than the chaos that would be Riverdale High at the moment. In the afternoon, she got a call from Betty, asking her to come with her to Jughead’s trailer and work on the cipher. Natalie wasn’t ecstatic about getting involved, but was getting bored out of her mind, locked up in her room, so she accepted.

Kevin offered to walk with her to the Southside, since Natalie had never been there before. Natalie didn’t know much about the Southside. She had heard talks of a gang called the Southside Serpents, and apparently Jughead’s father was their leader, but she knew little else. The fact that the gang was called the Serpents made her think of SP’s snake tattoo. What a coincidence.

When Natalie and Kevin arrived at Jughead’s trailer, Betty was already there as well as a pink-haired girl called Toni, Jughead’s friend from his new school. She had on a leather jacket, a huge serpent printed on the back of it. The design was awfully similar to SP’s tattoo. That’s weird. They ordered some food and started working on the cipher, without much luck.

“These symbols look so familiar to me.” Betty suddenly broke the silence. “It’s like I’ve seen them before, and it’s driving me crazy I can’t figure out where.”

“Maybe if you loosened your ponytail.” Toni said, causing the other four people in the room to look at her with furrowed brows. “What? That was… a joke, guys.”

“Betty’s ponytail is iconic, and beyond reproach.” Kevin said, offended, making Jughead and Natalie chuckle.

“Kev, it’s fine. At this point, I’m willing to try anything.” Betty sighed and removed the hair tie, letting her hair loose.

There was something extremely uncomfortable about the atmosphere in the room, so Natalie started going through the papers again, hoping to avoid the tension.

“Where did you get that dog tag?” Toni suddenly asked her.

Natalie looked at her in confusion, and without thinking, her finger started clutching the necklace. “Oh, uhm, my friend gave it to me. Why?”

Toni narrowed her eyes for a second, before turning her attention back to the book she was holding. “It’s just that my friend has one exactly like that.” she stated dully.

Okay, that’s definitely weird.

“Let’s go back to the basics.” Jughead sat up from the couch, “What do we know about this guy? Who is he?”

“He’s a white male, in his 40s. Like, almost every serial killer ever.” Toni answered.

“No, I mean, like, why… Why is he killing people?” Jughead wondered, “Or at least, why now?”

Betty, Natalie and Kevin shared a look before Betty spoke up. “We know the Hood’s obsessed with cleansing the town of sinners and hypocrites, right? And he seems to be attacking anyone with ties to the Northside.”

“Here we go with the fake news again.” Toni interrupted, clearly annoyed. “You Northsiders and your privilege! All you do is demonize the Southside, so of course you think the Black Hood’s from there.”

If Natalie thought the atmosphere was uncomfortable before, she was dead wrong. Kevin looked at her with a look that clearly said ‘Oh shit’. Betty and Toni kept arguing and suddenly Toni announced that Jughead was lying to Betty about sitting with the Serpents at lunch. Natalie wanted to disappear in that moment, the tension was unbearable.

“I’m gonna go...” Kevin broke the awkward silence and Natalie had never been as thankful.

“Yeah, I should go too.” she said and stood up, and to her surprise Toni started packing her things and headed to the door as well.

She closed the door to the trailer behind her and saw Toni storming away. “Toni, wait!” she called and ran after her. She needed to ask her about the dog tag and her friend. She had to know. She finally caught up with her and managed to grab Toni’s arm.

“What do you want?” Toni rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“Sorry. Uhm, why did you ask me about the dog tag?” Natalie asked and swallowed.

Toni looked at her for a moment, furrowing her eyebrows and sighed. “Were you in Pittsburgh this summer?”

Natalie’s stomach turned. How did she know that? Was SP from here? How could this be happening? She opened her mouth to say something when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She mouthed a sorry and picked up the phone, opening the text message from Veronica.

Come to the tracks, the Serpents showed up and the Bulldogs are getting ready to fight them, need help - Veronica

“Toni?” Natalie stuttered, still looking at her phone.

“What?” she spat back, hands still crossed.

“Apparently Archie and the football team are about to fight some Serpents by the tracks...”

Toni dropped her hands to her sides and clenched her jaw, letting out a frustrated sigh before turning on her heels and walking away. Natalie stood there, frozen, until Toni turned around and called, “Well? Come on then!”

By the time Natalie and Toni were halfway to the tracks, it started pouring rain. A few hundred feet away, Natalie saw a group of boys, standing opposite each other in a line. Motorcycles were parked on the Serpents side, and a few cars were behind the Bulldogs. Toni grabbed Natalie’s arm and led her behind one of the cars to get a better look. She saw Archie in the front, taking a step towards the line of Serpents. A tall boy was sitting on a motorcycle, his raven black hair dripping wet from the rain. He stood up and walked up to Archie, towering over him.

Oh my god. It can’t be.

She watched, terrified, as Archie took a step back, clenching his fist, and using his whole body weight to slam it into the Serpents jaw. Natalie let out a loud gasp as she watched SP fall to the ground and chaos broke out between the rest.

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4  chapter 5 chapter 6  chapter 7

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

Before the World Stops Turning: Pt.3

Hello again! I’ve spent the last week doing A LOT of writing because for whatever reason my Uni classes haven’t been as time consuming, so I decided to make the most of my lack of social life and just write the next 5 or so chapters of this fic so they’ll be ready to edit and post even once I begin to get busy again…Anyways, this chapter is a little boring, but it explains a couple things and acts as a short transition chapter to get to some more fun stuff in the next chapters.

If you’d like to be added/removed from my tags list, don’t hesitate to let me know!

Everything I’ve written can be found right here!

I hope you enjoy this chapter! (As always, additional notes and random commentary I have will be at the end beneath the tags)

Rae and Izzie had spent a few hours at the café the previous night eating, recapping the highlights of the concert, and posting some of the better pictures that had been taken using both of their phones to Izzie’s social media accounts.

By the time Rae made it back to her apartment in the taxi that Izzie and her had split, it was already in the early hours of the morning and Rae’s exhaustion had caught up to her so much so that she fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow when she got in bed.

It could not have been more than a few hours later when Rae was awoken by the bright morning sun streaming in through her partially open curtains and the sound of her phone buzzing violently on her bedside table.

Who the fuck would be trying to video call me right now?!?

“Uh, yes, hello?” Rae replied when she answered the video call without checking to see who it was that was calling her at such an early time.

“Rae-Rae! I’m so glad you’re awake! I didn’t wake you, did I?” Izzie replied with a cheerful smile.

“Uh, ‘course not, Izz…” Rae replied, her voice still thick with sleep, as she rubbed her eyes slightly to finish waking up.

“Wonderful! So you’ll never guess how many social media notifications I woke up to when I checked my phone a little while before I called you…”

“Oh really? I bet your friends that bailed on going to the concert with you are ruing the day, huh?” Rae replied as she sat up in her bed with a pillow propped up behind her back to get into a more comfortable position.

“Probably, yeah, but even better than that…So you know how I posted all the concert photos online last night, yeah? And you know how I tagged the bands and band members that were in the pictures? Well…” Izzie smirked and paused for dramatic effect, causing Rae to chuckle.

“C’mon Izz! You can’t keep me in suspense like this…you simply must tell me everything,” Rae replied with a teasing edge to her voice.

“Hey now! The sass is unnecessary, but I’m a good friend, so I will tell you the rest of the story…so this morning I woke up to see notifications on my phone saying that a couple members of Kings and Queens liked and shared the group photo I posted of all of us!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful, Izzie! I’m so happy for you!” Rae replied in complete sincerity because she could tell how excited her mate truly was

“Oh that’s not all…I also saw that I was followed by the Kings and Queens Band account as well as one of the band members! Isn’t that so exciting, Rae? I simply had to call you and I felt this warranted a video call instead of a boring old phone call…I also had a question to ask you…”

“Yeah, that’s so great, Izz! They were all really nice guys, so it’s no surprise that they like to interact with fans like this…What did you want to ask me?”

“Do you remember how many band members were in Kings and Queens, Rae?”

“Uhm, maybe five? Lead singer, drummer, bassist, and two guitar players I think…so yeah, five! Why do you ask?”

“Huh, that’s what I thought…it’s not a big deal, but I was looking at the group photo that we took that I posted online and only see four band members and I wasn’t sure who could be missing. I’m pretty sure everyone was there when we posed for the picture…” Izzie replied, her eyebrows knitting together slightly in confusion.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure everyone made it in…wait a second! Maybe not…There was one guy that was busy and rushed in at the last second, but I’m not sure if he made it into the picture.”

Rae powered up her laptop and brought up Izzie’s account where that picture—along with about a dozen others—was posted and zoomed into the photo to get a closer look.

Izzie sat waiting patiently for Rae to speak after taking another look at the photo, but she was soon caught off-guard when Rae laughed aloud suddenly.

“Holy shit, Izz! Take a look at this! You’re right—well sort of…the photo we took has all band members, but it technically only has three fingers from the fifth band member on the far side of the frame.”

Rae turned the camera of her phone to show the group photo that she been looking at on her laptop and began to show Izzie what she meant.

“As you can see, there’s the two of us and Chop next to me…there’s two guys back behind the three of us…and on Chop’s other side is one of the other band members, but if you look very closely at this fourth guy’s shoulder, you can see three fingers and someone’s hand resting on his shoulder!”

“Okay, I think I see that…but are you sure it’s not someone else’s hand though?”

“That’s what I thought at first too, but the angle that the hand is resting on his shoulder makes it seem like there had to be another person standing just outside the frame of the photo!”

“That’s so funny, Rae! I wonder which of them got left out…”

“Huh, yeah…do you remember who was who? Or what was the name of the band member that followed you after you posted the pictures online, Izz? Maybe we can figure it out like that.”

“Uh, okay…well I know that the one with the glasses next to Chop is named Archie. I’ve been following him on social media since I first found out about the band a while back. I think the taller guy in the back is named Alex…and I’m pretty sure the guy with the drumsticks next to Alex is the drummer, Danny…I don’t remember who else could have been left out…”

“Okay, well that’s four of five band members. Did any of them follow you on social media?” Rae asked as she tried to recall the names of the different band members that Chop had told them when he introduced her and Izzie to everyone in the band mere hours ago.

“Uh, no, actually! The guy who followed me is someone called ‘Finn Nelson’…huh, I guess that settles it! Finn is our three-fingered mystery boy!”

“Mystery solved! I knew we’d be able to figure this out!” Rae called triumphantly before shifting her attention to her mat that seemed to be engrossed in whatever she was currently doing on her phone.

“Dear lord, Rae…I’m looking through our mystery boy’s profile and he’s great…there’s a lot of cool sunset and photography-type posts, but the few selfies and band promos where you can see him…wow,” Izzie replied looking away from her phone only for a brief moment to make sure that Rae was still paying attention before continuing, “it’s a shame all you can see of him in our group photo are his fingers because he is proper fit!”

“Oh is he, now? I thought you had a thing for a certain lead singer of Kings and Queens, Izz…”

“I do still like Chop…he’s quirky…but this lad? Holy shit, Rae, he’s perfect for you!” Izzie replied giving Rae a suggestive smirk and eyebrow raise.

“Uh huh…well, I guess I’m just going to have to take your word for it, Izzie!”

***

It had been nearly a month since Rae had first agreed to accompany Izzie to a concert in the city in which four bands she had never heard of were performing at a local bar, but in that time, Rae’s interest in the bands that they had seen had only continued to grow.

Upon Izzie’s insistence, Rae had even borrowed the Kings and Queens CD Izzie had purchased after the show and Rae spent a week listening to the album end-to-end. By the time she returned the CD to her mate, she had familiarized herself with most of the songs and had chosen her favorites.

“So Izzie, how have you been as of late? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” Rae playfully whined during one of her weekly Thursday lunch dates with Izzie when they both happened to have a break in their schedules to hang out for a few hours.

“It’s only been about a week and a half since I last saw you, Rae! Remember when we had the movie night at your apartment and you returned my Kings and Queens CD to me that you had borrowed?” Izzie replied as she lifted the sandwich she had ordered from her plate and took a large bite.

“Has it really been that long?” Rae replied with a chuckle as she used her fork to stab a cherry tomato from her salad and brought it to her mouth.

“Oh, that reminds me! Did you see that Kings and Queens announced that they’re playing a show at the same bar we saw them last time in a couple weeks?”

“No, I didn’t see that! Where did you find that out? I’m pretty sure I’d remember if they had posted something on the band page…”

“Do you not follow all the individual band members as well as the main band account?”

“No, I just follow the band’s page, I think…”

“Ah, well that explains it then! I think Archie might have posted it? I’m pretty sure he mentioned that they have discounted tickets for sale too if we don’t want to pay the fees for buying the tickets online or wait to get them on the day of the show. I think we just have to let them know how many tickets we want and they’ll deliver the tickets directly to us!”

“Oh wow, that’s perfect! Do you know what day the show is? If we’re both free we should definitely go see them play again!”

“I don’t know the exact date, but I can check…So you don’t even follow Finn’s account, Rae? Why the hell not, babe?”

“Because, Izzie! I’m not going to be one of those girls that thirst follow band members and try to be a groupie at every single show! He’s just a normal person, even if he is as perfect looking as you seem to think he is!”

“Well, I suppose…wait a second…have you still not seen what he looks like yet?”

“Erm…no, I guess I haven’t…well not specifically, at least. Every time you tell me that I should check out his profile, I forget or get distracted and I’ve never gotten around to it, I guess…”

“Well then, love…prepare to be blessed by the beautiful specimen of a man that is Finn Nelson, lead guitarist of the band Kings and Queens…” Izzie said without removing her eyes from her phone as she typed and clicked rapidly before passing Rae her cellphone as if it was a sacred object that must be handled with extreme care.

“Holy fuck…”

 “I know, right?”

 He looks so familiar…wait a second, is that—no, it couldn’t possibly be the guy that I stumbled into before the show…could it?

“So Rae…was I right or was I right? Finn is basically a god, don’t you think?”

“Yeah…he’s definitely, uh, well…I think I know him…”

“Holy shit, really? How?”

“Well, I don’t know-know him…do you remember how when we were standing outside the bar before the concert I told you that I ran into a guy and I dropped my phone…well this is the guy I bumped into…I just don’t know how I never made that connection!”

“That’s so crazy! What a weird coincidence though…”

“No kidding! Well, I have an Abnormal Psychology class to get to right now, but it was really nice meeting you for lunch today! I’ll check when Kings and Queens are performing and maybe we can reach out to them for a pair of discounted tickets?”

“Yeah, for sure! Just let me know if you think you’ll be free and we can work out all the details.”

***

By the time Rae walked into her apartment after a busy day of classes and studying for the finals she had coming up in all her Uni courses, the sun was already mostly set and the sky was streaked with the final remnants of pinks and oranges in a mostly blue and purple backdrop.

She immediately changed into an oversized t-shirt and a pair of patterned lounge pants before sitting down at the desk in the far corner of her bedroom and powering on her laptop.

Okay, let’s take a look to see when this upcoming Kings and Queens concert is gonna be…

Rae pulled up the band’s social media profile and saw a post that was only a few hours old with a picture of the promotional poster for this particular show.

Rae: Hiya Izz! I just checked the date for the K&Q show and I’m free if you still wanna go! It’s two Fridays from now…the Friday of exam week, I think?

Izzie: YES I STILL WANT TO GO! I have a final exam that morning, but I’ll definitely be free that evening.

 Rae: Great! I’ll go ahead and let them know that we want tickets so we can get the discounted price for the tickets, yeah?

 Izzie: Perfect! That sounds good to me, just let me know how much I owe you for my ticket, yeah?

 Rae: Will do!

 Rae set her phone back down on her desk beside her laptop and went back to reading the post in which the Kings and Queens band page had announced that they were playing the show and were selling a limited number of tickets at the lowest possible prices.

 Rae was debating between commenting on the post about needing tickets or sending them a private message before ultimately deciding to ask them about the tickets privately.

Hello there! I saw your post about the show you are playing at the end of the month and I saw that you have a limited number of tickets available for purchase at reduced prices. I’m interested in purchasing a pair, please…

@eveerez @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e @lurkernolonger @milllott @nutinanutshell @i-dream-of-emus @milymargot @vivammfd @bitchesbecrazy89 @arathewallflower @mallyallyandra​ @kneekeyta

A/N: Poor Finn :( First Rae brushes him off when he’s trying to be friendly and now we find out that he was “accidentally” cut out of the frame for the photo that they took after the first show. All I can say is you really have to be careful who you ask to take pictures for you using your phone at concerts because you never know what you’re gonna get…

So I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really enjoying what I’m dong with switching POV between what’s going on with Rae and what’s happening with Finn. I’m also making a point to have the timelines match us as much as possible from one POV to another with no overlap, so fingers crossed that I don’t end up fucking this up or making the story too hard to follow lol…

Also, how cool is it that their band is willing to sell discounted tickets to fans and deliver them to the people wanting the tickets. I know a number of people that are in local and mid-level bands where I live and this is something that they commonly do when the bands playing are lesser known or when there hasn’t been enough time for the concert to really be promoted in order to have a full crowd, so a lot of local bands will try to entice friends/family/previous fans that have seen them by offering to give them discounted tickets. I’m not sure if this is a common practice in other places too, but I think it’s pretty cool.

Writing this story is making me really miss all the concerts in sketchy bars and small venues I went to with my best friend at the time when I was 15/16/17 years old…ah, the memories *looks wistfully into the distance*

This entire thing has been super scatter-brained and confusing, but this is me we’re talking about, so what did you all really expect? Hahaha…I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the next one should be coming very soon as well…I’m still trying to decide exactly when, but I can assure you that it will be relatively soon. Stay awesome, my friends!