#the other 21 don’t have SHIT compared to them LMAO
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OC Story: Rebirth
(Marcus & Liam’s rewritten backstory)
(TW: Mentions of Death and Self-Harm)
A young Mage & Avian rewake in a place fully covered in white, immediately embracing once they lay eyes on each other.
Both of them still vividly remember what happened to them seconds prior.
They were ambushed by what felt like a large horde of entities
They got once last bittersweet look at each other before slowly closing their eyes
They died.
By the looks of it, the place the two of them are now in seems to be the afterlife. But, the place seems a bit bleak compared to the myths and stories they’ve read about.
Before they could explore the place any further, they’re met with a jarring face.
A large person of an indeterminable gender, their face partially masked with a veil that ends around their neck with long hair being partially tied into a bun, and a long white robe with symbols of the spirit elements on their robe’s sash.
Both of them immodestly who their face to face with,
The Creator, the being that created their universe.
Before any of them could ask them any questions, the Creator begins to speak.
“I have watched you two from birth to death. You have such vivid and vibrant dreams and desires, but the time period you’ve lived within was sadly harsh to both your dreams, and your love.”
The Mage & Avian both look at each other with a sad look before turning their heads back towards the Creator, who continues their speech
“That is why I will be giving you two a second chance. There’s a portal behind me that’ll lead into the future, where your dreams can become a reality, and your love is respected and accepted into society. You will be reincarnated together, and the old memories of your past life will slowly but surely return to the both of you. I won’t guarantee that you’ll immediately find each other in your next life, but your souls will be semi connected in a similar vain to the soulmates that I’ve forged, and your souls will immediately recognize each other once you reunite.”
“I understand if you don’t want to accept this, but the portal will always stay open if you change your mind later.”
The two lovers immediately accept the offer, walking together to where the portal awaits them, stopping once they’re inches away from it.
Before they enter it together, the Avian speaks towards his lover, “We’ll find each other before we re-enroll back into Arcana Academy, right Liam?”
The Mage smiles back at him, reassuring him as he answers his question, “Yeah. It’s a promise Marcus.”
And so, they kiss
They hold hands
And they enter the portal together, reincarnating into the distant future.
#*points at Marcus and Liam* these two can fit so much trauma in them#no srsly these two have the most trauma in them#the other 21 don’t have SHIT compared to them LMAO#oc story
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RANKING THE BETA SQUAD & EXTRAS BY ATTRACTIVENESS:
thank you for tagging me bae @kennysboxergf <3
Authors note: some of this I know for a fact I’m hearing shit for but idk this is the only right way😛
10. HARRY PINERO
It wouldn’t be b4tasquad without some hp no sauce slander. This guy gets on my nerves so much I have a list of violations I would throw in his face if I was to ever meet that bitch. And it’s not like he’s fine enough to talk about others? Like boy you out here with a non distinguishable hair line and a whole kid trynna act 21 without no kid😐
9. ANESONGIB
Nothing against him, like at all. I just really don’t find him that attractive tbh. And I’ve never really paid attention to him when he’s not in beta squad videos or with em so don’t know him. Kinda looks like the guy from ratatouille but cute tho.
8. JOHNNY CAREY
He’s not ugly? Just not really my type. Really funny in footasylum videos alongside the ones he’s in on the beta squad channel, but like I said not really my type. Kinda feel like he still plays Fortnite and lives in his mamas basement. He has his moments tho, and sometimes his drip be good.
7. DARKEST MAN
now listen… especially ally. I love Darkest with my whole being istg. I find him super attractive and he’s my man frfr… but compared to the others above him I just can’t put him anywhere else😭 but he’s so funny and fine. just wish he had hair…
6. KING KENNY
Very attractive especially with a durag on omg🤭but I’m very much a hair and face combo girl. Like a guy has to have good hair and be handsome to be rated top tier to me🤷♀️ Kenny’s super attractive… but lacks in the hair department
5. CHUNKZ
my man love love love his fine ass. i think I’d actually faint on the spot if he opened his mouth and spoke because he’s so fucking fine I’m just😧😧 would but him higher if he had the hair and and face combo…
4. SHARKY
SUPER SUPER SUPER FINE. ISTG and I know some of you are going to hate me for this… but he’s not the finest in the beta squad??? let’s be fr rn. his style is so nice, he’s super handsome but girls he’s not the finest goodbye. Love me some sharky tho
3. YUNGFILLY
idc what you guys have to say about this one. filly has been and will always be fine. if he has 10 fans I’m one of them, if he has one that’s me and if he has none… better believe someone killed my ass😛 he’s so caring, boyfriend material, fine, and stylish. he’s so Abby’s man coded
2. AJ SHABEEL
my man my man my man. all of you know id go to war for my bae. people do him so dirty and I just DONT STAND FOR IT. he’s everything a girl (aka me) needs and I’d do anything for him. his hair is such a bonus cause omfg I want to run my hair through it and the highlights in it??? FUCK YESS
1. NIKO OMILANA
he’s been my bae since day one. I stared watching them because of him, and I’ll continue to watch for him too. he’s the finest most delicious scrumptious guy there is, and I better not hear anyone arguing. there’s never been a discussion. I’ve heard to many “sharky and niko are both the finest.” “Sharky is finer.” NO HES NOT LMAO🙄🙄 the day everyone realises that niko legit has everything. height, hair, face, body im gonna laugh at you??? sign me tf uppppp
#beta squad#✭b4tasquad speaks#niko omilana#aj shabeel#chunkz#sharky#king kenny#yung filly#anesongib#johnny Carey#harry pinero#youtube
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I was bored :)
1.Favourite Slipknot era?
vol3 subliminal verses and self titled
2.Favourite song/s?
The virus of life The shape prosthetics the nameless me inside iowa scissors purity Everything ends spit it out diluited
3. Have you ever seen them live? If so what was your experience like?
It was brutal literally I almost die and im 99% sure that corey saw me throw up
4. If you could spend a day with any band member who would it be and why?
Corey bc im almost 100% sure the we would love each other or hate each other no in between and i wanna know
5. Favourite lyric/s?
-SUCK DEEZZ NUTZZ
-I am not a dog but im the one you’re dogging
-You won’t bother me if you let me bother you
-Keep in mind, I watch you Never leave my side, never leave me, fucker
6.When and how did you discover the band?
When i was like 9/10 I downloaded a song and had the all hope is gone album cover and i was so curious about it i look it up and they where Slipknot i loved the masks and I found it kinda halloweenish what i loved but until 13 I didn’t actually hear their music
7.A song that means a lot to you?
Everything ends helped me to accept my rage and actually let me be mad at things
8.Favourite album/s?
Self titled ofc
9.Out of every mask each member has had which one do you like the best and which one do you like the least?
I love mick jim and joey masks those are top tier i like craig and corey masks too i like almost all of them my least fav is that bandage clown mask
10. Favourite Paul Gray photo/s?
11. Favourite music video?
Duality and psychosocial classics
12. If you could choose any artist/band to
collaborate with Slipknot, who would you
choose?
Man idk MGK lmaooo nah mmm chino moreno
13. Ever been to Knotfest?
yes again brutal i loved it
14. How do you feel about the newest members?
They’re good I don’t like to compare, very different vibes tho
15. Favourite group picture?
16. If you could make the world listen to one Slipknot song which one would it be?
Dead memories or snuff bc those are pretty chill
17. Favourite gif?
18. Do you have any band merch? If so what?
I have like an obsession with band shirts so yea
19. What do your friends/family think of the band?
That they scream a lot and my mom says that she likes the “jason masks”
20.What's your dream setlist?
Purity,Scissors ,The virus of life,The nameless,Vermillion ,Prosthetics,Me inside,Nero forte,Everything ends,Disasterpiece,Get this,(Sic),Eyeless,Liberate,Snuff,Gehenna,Killpop,Spit it out,Yen ,The shape,Metabolic
21. Tag your favourite Slipknot blogs
If i follow you you’re my fav
22. Name a song that gets you pumped
Nero forte get this people = shit
23. Favourite Corey Taylor quote?
“I can’t take full credit but i will”
“Pay attention to ME!”
“Lust gets me in trouble so wrath”
24. If you could be any band member for a day who would you be?
Sid bc I would jump everywhere like crazy (i have both feet fucked up too) or mick i like how scary he looks
25. Favourite song that's been performed live?
(Sic) the blister exists purity
26. Use one word to describe Jim's beard
HIPSTER
27. Any songs that have helped you through tough times?
Everything ends snuff
28. First impression of the band?
HALLOWEEN BOIS
29. What do you think of the newest album?
Good but the old vibes is on top always
30. Ever heard of the tribute band Knotslip? If so what do you think?
They r better than Slipknot lmao
31.Did you discover any other bands through
Slipknot? If so which ones?
Stone sour murderdolls
32. You're feeling angry which song do you put on?
People = shit nero forte everything ends
33. You're feeling happy which song do you put on?
Me inside the shape vermillion spit it out custer killpop yen
34.Have you met any band members?
Sadly no hopefully corey someday
35. What song would you love to hear Slipknot
cover?
The summoning by sleep token if you know what i mean ;)
36. Got any Slipknot related tattoos?
No but i want the knot
37. First song you heard?
Psychosocial
38. Vermillion part 1 or Vermillion part 2?
Part 1 aghh
39. Got any cool pictures you've personally taken of the band that you'd like to share?
40. Your chance to say anything you want about the band.
Sometimes I would like to have been born earlier or they would have been born a few years before me ;(
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omg i love that you can talk about drewfiona & rafesofia for hours lmao bc same! i hate how the riaras (yuck) on twitter shit on sofia sm and say her and rafe had nothing and that she was filler like pls don’t piss me off…they literally had more chemistry than anyone else. that proposal scene itself was greater than every romantic scene combined. and they’re both such GOOD actors. they just didn’t have a fleshed out plot line which we can blame the writers for, but if they had the screen time and the material they would literally be the most talked about thing in the whole show. meanwhile kiara’s character only knows one real facial expression and it’s the pissed off face she makes all the time #nooffense anyways idgaf, i hope sofia and rafe end up together and married and i hope we get drew and fiona press next season. i need to see those sweetie pies interacting moreee!
This is a biggg answer so ill put this down
first of all THANK YOU for the compliment. It is going to be a tough year waiting for obx and then RIARAS DRONING IN OUR EARS with a chainsaw talking about muh "enemies to lovers" trope while its clear that jj would probably come back alive, skin rafe and put him on the coffin rather than see kie and rafe. So any support for sofia is great
Oh both of them were amazing this season even tho they had like six scenes LIKE WHAT IS THIS, SOVIET RUSSIA can you please give me more I am starving here. But obviously since "sofia is a filler charcter' her own story and rafes and sof's relationship dont matter . i wish obx was shot in the 2000s then every season would have 23 eps and we would get such an amazing storyline. And you're so true, even with the minimal scenes their edits in insta and twt are going on fire. clearly some people who dont like fun are like "oh i dont like sofia" well I LOVE HER so move tf on and enjoy. People are clearly getting the agenda buttt some idiots are ruining it for us butt jiaras would literally hang jpates so i dont think fanservice will come in next season. They literally want rafe to be dead rather than with kie and they are pissed as hell abt jj so nope i hope to god that shit doesn't happen. I feel like next summer or autumn they may start shooting (idk tbh) so if we could just see on bts if fiona will be there, we will know for sure that sofia's story is not over.
I am honestly so sad for jiaras situation like they were so cute from s1 till s4 pt 1 like rudy leaving along with the entire drama kinda completely ruined jiara and its so sad cuz they have and HAD SO much potential like they COULD HAVE KISSED IN SO MANY SCENES. The scene when jj and sarah reunite with the rest of the gang should have also had a jj and kie reunion scene that would have ATE and also what the fuck was that ending, his own dad killing him that's so fucking tragic. That shit made ward and john sr the father of the series who both are ASSHOLES btw. Culimination of all that, madison and rudy just let go of professionalism and didn't provide the audience what they deserve. so that ended up kie looking like shes pissed off at jj; even when jj told his lifes been a lie she was...ok...like girl my bb sofia sounded more concerned when rafe called her in morocco. when compared to that with rafe literally proposing to sofia when rafes probably 23 and shes like probs 21 like OH HE WANTS HER BAD. jj didn't even properly kiss her LIKE THATS DIABOLICAL and they come for sofia being bland...like look in the mirror. Thats why psycho ship fans feel like they will get ri*ra like rafe actually was "amicable" key word "amicable" to her but again she had a knife on her back when he approached and rafe still kinda loathes her soooo.
I feel that they dont even watch the same series like jj and kie has been loving each other FOR YEARS loca and their delusional ass thinks that just because rafe threw some smouldering looks doesn't mean that kie is going to jump him and its very very disrespectful to kie that they want them together tbh.
Now....lets talk about it....I MEAN AGAIN THAT PROPOSAL SCENE CHILLSSSS. I hate that tiktok is a cesspool mostly filled with mentally weird people who are just liking riara edits when THERE IS LITERALLY A GODDAMN POWER COUPLE THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON. I mean I loved all the ship chem this season; jarah blew me away and as usual we love cleopope in this fam but RAFE was actually making moves EXCEPT THAT FUCKASS SCENE like buying a property for her and marrying her LIKE THAT IS A FUTURE WIFE GUY. And AGAIN UGHH THE CHEMISTRY WAS CHEMISTRYING AND I HATE THAT I DIDNT GET ENOUGH SCENES. I would literally fall on my knees if I can get that enduro scene where rafe carries sofia BRIDAL STYLE like CALM DOWN. Buttt people say that its actually BTS which means DOUBLE DEATH LIKE HUH WHY DID THAT HAPPEN. Trust me, if only sofia was written by a woman instead of a m*n, we would have gotten so much more. Also a lot of self insert fics make sofia look like the bad guy NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT like obvio the yn is the heroine but like it just irks me that's all; that's just my personal opinion. And only very handful writers, not including the Brazilian Portuguese Rofia AUs (btw are amazing and you guys should totally check it out; i just google translate and read them.) there is not much fanfic or discourse abt them on ao3 or tumble again is kinda sad. I have mapped out a story for them butt i am kinda busy with my life rn even tho my brain and attention span is fried; so i cant be able to write it right now but i am for sure writing it cuz I'm sick and tired of the showrunners ruining the top tier potential that rafe and sofia have
I remember me and the approx 20 people in this app speculating abt whats going to happen in pt 2 after oct regarding rofia. I mean I thought the truth would come out and it will be messy so I THOUGHT I WAS READY to process it. BUT THEN BOOM RAFE PROPOSED
RAFE PROPOSED LIKE WHAT
I remember LITERALLY HOLLERING and screaming WOOOHOOO when he proposed. OH IT WAS EVERYTHING, some people say it was half baked like....whatever girl. the fact that man thought of marrying her itself is like HUH. I thought we'll get like a "i love you" confession BUT NEVER A FUCKING ENGAGEMENT SCENE. So Jpates your beatings will be less for that one reason.
And the way they kissed THREE TIMES BITCH I WAS UPPPP. Him close to crying like SOFIA YOU DID IT GIRL YOU DID IT. He clearly loves her like a lot and I hate that his INSECURE ASS would just break it up IN MOROCCO OVER A GUY WHOS CLEARLY A CON. AND THE WORST PART IS MY GIRL WAS SO HEARTBROKEN LIKE THAT SHOT OF HER JUST DROPPING THE PHONE. SOMEONE HOLD MY BABY SHE DOESNT DESERVE THIS. He straight up said "DONE" like mfer talk it out, acting LIKE HE JUST DIDNT CUT SOFIA OFF WHILE SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY THAT SHE MADE A MISTAKE (again warranted cuz rafe is an insecure ass and deserves that whooping, treating the love of your life like that DUSTY BEHAVIOUR).
Everyone says that drew has chemistry with everyone...i kinda disagree. I watched The Other Zoey and as much as i liked it the chemistry between Katherine and drew was not hitting at all. And the background score was not it at all, I was actually fast forwarding for all the romantic scenes with music cuz that was just tacky. And i feel like the final kiss was like...meh. I love the character Zach tho, he is so fuckng cute but I feel like the art direction and the overall aesthetic and the chemistry was not up to the mark. I was expecting more like"to all the boys i loved before" level cuteness but nope it was...ok ig. Compared to that, fiona and drew seem so intense on obx like the banter and the sexual tension is very palpable between sofia and rafe. even in scenes like the one second WHERE SOF PUTS HER HEAD ON RAFES SHOULDER like I felt that chemistry was chemistryfying.
I can talk about them for eons I am not even kidding. I love them smmm. THANK YOU FOR THE ASK
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Can We Pretend?
Pairing: Idol Jay/Reader
Warnings: Smut. For 18+ only, minors dni.
Includes: Corruption kink, friends with benefits, protected sex, squirting, mild choking, slight biting, rough sex.
Authors note: I might edit this later. I apologize for any errors, I wrote this at 5 am instead of sleeping. Lmao.
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"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, in case you wanted to back down.
You were watching a drama just a couple of minutes ago when he kissed you by surprise. You remember teasing him and questioning his innocence because of a scene in the drama where the main leads were hugging before having sex for the first time.
Your brain stopped functioning for a while to remember how it all came to this.
"Pft. Who the fuck hugs before having sex?" You almost choked on your drink out of laughter.
"Why? Isn't that a normal thing for couples?" Jay asked you with innocence plastered on his face.
"Are you being serious? You.. don't tell me you're still a virgin?" You were so shocked that you had to pause the drama you're both watching.
"What's wrong with being a virgin? Also, you already know I haven't dated anyone in my life, why are you so shocked?" His lips pouting cutely as he argued.
"But that was 3 years ago, Jay. You're literally 21 now, you need to get laid." You teased him out of habit. A sting of pain suddenly grazing your heart at the thought of your best friend on someone else's bed.
"As if I have the time for that. Besides, I can't just hook up with anyone. I have a reputation to protect as an idol." He's right, you nodded in response. A sudden thought crossing your mind.
"Wait a minute, how do you release tension then? Do you just get off by yourself or?" Your face inspecting his eyes closely for some hint. "Don't tell me you don't jack off either?" You were beyond shocked by his blank expression, showing no sign of guilt at all.
"Holy shit, how do you even do that? You poor thing." You taunted him.
"Enough, y/n. I'm fine, I have a lot of ways to release stress. Unless, you want to offer yourself to help." Jay knew he wasn't thinking straight when he said this but he maintained his cool and unbothered expression to see how you would react.
"You want us to be fuck buddies, is that it? Fine, I'll help you." You weren't sure why you agreed without giving it a second thought. But you know deep inside you've been in love with Jay for 6 years already. For all those years, you tried so hard not to be overly affectionate and clingy to the boy you liked the most--in fear of him drifting away from you. You wanted to be someone constant in his life, someone he can go to whenever he needs someone to lean on. You wanted to be his soulmate.
You've done a great job so far, but you're not sure anymore. How the hell are you going to manage pretending from now on? When you're overly sentimental and you tend to give meaning to every single thing he does.
"What? How can you agree so fast?" He jokingly covered his mouth, pretending to be shocked.
"What? Do you want me to take it back? It's not like this is my first time having sex anyway." You tried to act cool as much as possible, pretending that this setup isn't that much of a big deal at all.
"Right. I'm not. But you're gonna be my first." You're almost sure he sounded hurt when he said that while looking deeply in your eyes.
You couldn't resist it anymore. You wanted to be the one to erase his innocence but you were surprised when he kissed you first.
You couldn't honestly tell if this is his first kiss or not because he's definitely good at it.
You pulled away out of shock. You didn't expect him to be this good since you thought he's just gonna go for a quick peck. He looked confused at your reaction.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, in case you wanted to back down.
"No. No, I was just shocked. I thought you were just gonna go with a quick peck, that's all." For some reason you can't look directly in his eyes. You're sure of it. If you do, you're gonna fall for him again, like you always do.
"Well, we're not gonna go further with just a peck, right? Stop acting so shy, I thought you're gonna help me." He lifted your chin using his thumb, your eyes meeting in parallel.
"You sure about this, Jay? I mean, I may get clingy after all of this. You know how sensitive I get. I tend to feel a lot of emotions." You warned him, followed by a fake laugh to ease the tension. You wanted to give him an idea of what could happen at least.
"Then, don't. We're just using each other for sex, keep that in mind." You're aware he didn't mean to hurt you by this. He was just stating the obvious--drawing the line between the two of you for safety precaution. But this hurts, and you wanted him to take the pain all away, even just for a while.
You kissed him roughly in frustration. He picked up your pace quickly, he really is a fast learner, you thought. And his lips, they're small and cute but they felt so damn good on yours. You grabbed his face, feeling every inch of his jawline, circling your fingertips on the mark on his neck. You looked deep into his eyes before gently sucking on it. He moaned at the contact, grabbing a fistful of your hair gently and pulling you back to a kiss.
"Don't leave marks, y/n. I have a photoshoot tomorrow." He said, firmly.
"Too bad. Wanted to fucking mark you as proof of getting your virginity taken." You chuckled.
"Let me mark you instead, then. Proof that I let you take it." He whispered into your ear, biting into it gently, and kissing your neck while sucking on your skin up to your cleavage.
You moaned from the sensation. You're already melting from his touch, you couldn't help but to rub your thighs together, wanting some kind of pleasure on your core as soon as possible.
"Jay, I want your cock in me so bad." You whined, desperate to feel him inside of you. You palmed his cock inside his shorts, pulling it out. This is your first time seeing your best friend's dick and it was prettier than you imagined it would be. And you always thought he would be huge, but this doesn't even compare to the one in your dreams. The length, the girth, the tip of his cock, all red from arousal, leaking with precum already. Your mouth is watering from the sight.
You couldn't help it. You dropped on your knees, eyes levelled to his crotch. You pumped his dick with your small hands, earning a gasp from him. You circled your tongue in his tip, gathering all the precum in it before fully deep throating him. He let out a growl this time, surprised by your sudden action. "Fuck, y/n. That's it, your mouth feels so good." You hummed in his dick, sending vibrations to his senses. You kept bobbing your head up and down, making sure to go as deep as you can, his tip hitting your throat making you slightly gag. You pulled it out for a moment to spit on it, and put it back inside your mouth, sucking him sloppily.
"Fuck, y/n. I'm close, keep going." Your jaw is starting to hurt a little, but you wanted to taste him so bad. You continued sucking him off while cupping his balls, massaging them gently.
"Fuck, I'm cumming." He tried to get you off of him but you wrapped your arms around his thighs, pulling him closer. His cock, burying in your throat even deeper as he cummed. You looked up to him, eyes closed and mouth open from the pleasure. His head tilted back, and his hair slightly wet from sweat. The view of him from below caused a pool of wetness in your core. You milked him dry and swallowed his load without hesitation.
"Shit, y/n. That's just.. insane. Come here, I wanna taste you too." He helped you get up, both of you smiling from ecstasy.
You sat up on the couch, your thighs closed involuntarily trying to hide your arousal. "Can I?" He looked into your eyes, asking for permission if he could eat you out like a gentleman that he is.
"Y-yes." You shyly answered. This is the first time someone is getting down on you after all. Your ex never liked foreplay and always went on ahead with penetration every single time that it hurts most of the time. Nervous of what's to come, you covered your face with your hands, not wanting him to see your state.
"Let me see your pretty face, y/n. I wanna see how good I'm making you feel." He grabbed your wrist and placed your hand on his head, giving you something to hold on to while he flicks his tongue in your clit. He looked at you, your head tilted on the side, your mouth open releasing soft moans. He took the chance to put two fingers in your mouth, making you suck on them only to put them inside your cunt. He continued thrusting his fingers in and out while licking and sucking your bud, driving you insane from the pleasure, your arousal dripping down his chin generously.
You grabbed his hair firmly as you focused on reaching your climax, clenching on his fingers. "Jay, I.. I'm gonna cum." You're almost out of breath at this point.
He curled his fingers, hitting your g-spot several times that had you squirting around his digits. He eased you from your high, fucking your hole with his tongue and sucking on your juices. He looked up to you with lust all written in his face. His cheeks and chin, all wet and covered with your scent.
"I always knew you'd taste good. Though I didn't know you're a squirter." He chuckled and sat on the couch.
"Shut up. It's because it felt too good." You got up and climbed on his lap. He grabbed your ass to spread them and began kissing you again. The taste of his cum and yours both mixing in your mouth as you kiss him back. You began grinding at his erection, coating his length with your juices as he guided you by your waist.
You're getting impatient at this point, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside you. You felt Jay searching for something in the corner of the couch, eventually bringing out a condom.
"Why do you have that there?" You asked him, curious if he knew this would happen.
"The boys left it here just in case. Didn't know I'd be the one to use it though." He tore the packaging and started rolling it down to the base of his cock.
"You're such a good boy, aren't you?" You smiled at him.
"I don't think so." He whispered in your ear and bit your jaw, leaving a slight mark. You moaned a little bit louder this time. Surprised that it didn't hurt at all. "Aren't you such a pain slut? You're getting turned on by that? Huh?" His voice is so deep and velvety, making you clench your walls on nothing.
You started positioning yourself in his cock, slowly sinking down while biting your lip. He gasped from the unfamiliar sensation when he felt his tip enter you. You made sure to bottom all the way down, training your cunt to adjust to his size.
"Shit. Move for me, baby. Be a good girl and ride my cock." He's holding you by your waist, pinning you down roughly.
"Fuck, Jay. Your cock is so deep in me." You continued bouncing up and down, grinding back and forth on his cock from time to time whenever your legs would start to get tired.
Jay sensed that you’re starting to slow down so he started thrusting deep and sloppily into your core. You tried to meet his every thrust, biting your lips to keep yourself from screaming.
“Jay, I’m close.” He wrapped his right hand on your neck gently, while his left hand stayed at your waist. You're left at his mercy at this point. He’s in charge of the moment, giving you a smack on your ass as he growls from the intense pleasure.
“Cum for me, y/n.” With a couple of thrusts, you reached your orgasm, your walls convulsing around Jay’s cock that sent him to the edge as well.
He stayed inside you for a moment as both of you tried to catch your breath and then he pulled out after, discarding the condom in the trash bin.
He helped you get up and prepared a warm bath for you to enjoy. He knows that both of you just entered a complicated situation but he doesn’t regret it. As long as he’s with you, nothing else matters.
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(this is a bit of a c!tommy apologist neg rant but just a liiiiittle bit, you're good dont worry)
i cant be the only one that finds it weird how a lot of the fandom (cough cough mainly c!tommy apologists that have only watched his pov) babies c!tommy, c!tubbo and c!ranboo... like, i've seen so many takes being like "but c!tommy is just a child!! they're all kids and shouldn't have to deal with this!" and a lot of the times it's just a long way of saying they shouldn't be held accountable (cough, again. especially c!tommy) WHICH IS SO WEIRD bc they talk about it like tommy is 10 or smth but MANS IS 17 LMAO I GUARANTEE YOU HE HAS CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS?? and they'll say this and then immediately go and shit on c!jack WHEN HE'S LITERALLY JUST A YEAR OLDER THAN TOMMY?? i dunno dude it's just weird to see kdjgkj especially as a 17yo myself?? like imagine if when tubbo (and consequentially his character) turns 18 he begins to be given the same treatment as c!jack and will be bashed on for having nukes and shit krjgkdjrbg
i havent seen many ppl talk about this and im sure there are others who feel the same, so that's why i wrote this ask! sorry for the rant though kdjrgkdjg i hope you're doing well! :D
yeah no i completely agree with you !! there are such weird standards of what age excuses Bad Things and what age you become completely fucking irredeemable at LMAO
like ,, ok u wanna start talking about ages ?? (not you btw GENBGDKDH just a general ‘you’)
c!jack is months younger than me. 18. he was sent to hell + killed by his best friend + has his trauma ignored/mocked.
c!niki is less than older than me. 19. she had her home destroyed, lived under a dictatorship, lost her best friend and had to learn to heal by herself.
c!dream!! c!dream is three years older than me. three. he’s 21. which of COURSE makes him a completely responsible adult that totally has matured + has no reason or excuse to ever make a mistake or lapse in judgement ever /sarcasm
it’s like ,, at what age does the audience stop excusing your actions? yes, it’s shitty c!tommy and c!tubbo are so young and have been through hell. but ,, nobody in that server is older than 35 ?? only one person in that server is older than 30 ?? jfc that’s not old, and most of them are still in their teens or have just emerged from their teens 😭 they’re still so young LMAO
i think a lot of it has to do with younger fans who see age differently ig ?? like the other characters seem Old compared to the bench trio and there’s this expectation when you’re younger that by the time you’re 18 or 20 or 25 you’ll have everything sorted out, but then you HIT those ages and you realise ,, it’s so far from true. you make the same mistakes and you’re just as immature as the day you were before ur birthday LMAO, and i guarantee if cc!tommy had accepted cc!wilbur’s “ur in ur early 20s” then c!tommy would not be getting away with half the things he does ,, there’s such a weird standard
the tragedy of the smp is that they’re all young. there’s not a magical line between Kid and Adult, you know ?? ESP in the smp, where we already know the mechanics of the smp don’t apply quite the same as they do irl (mainly because people older than 30 exist irl LMAO)
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So, English-Speaking Danmei Fandom... (Part 2!)
...you saw my post yesterday and you’re like, “okay, I made a JJWXC account and now I know how much the thing I want to support costs, how do I do the actual money thing?”
Here, I’m figuring it out right now, let’s do it together. I AM STILL RELYING ON THE GUIDE BY SHOKO TRANSLATES. YOU SHOULD USE IT TOO. I have only the most basic idea wtf I’m talking about, and I only have that much because of this guide. That said, it seems to focus more on mobile, and I’m using desktop, so if you’re also on desktop my thing here might help you?
One, go to the payments page. Fortunately, they’ve made it pretty easy to find...
...by making it the one on that list that’s in RED. Handy, right? No, I don’t know what it actually says. Again, I don’t speak a lick of Chinese. I have some Japanese so sometimes I recognize characters but that doesn’t get me far, ha.
Once you click that (you have to be logged in, of course!) it’ll open up a new screen, with a list of payment options on the right. As far as I can tell, this is what the choices are:
I’m gonna take a stab at international credit card, since that’s...the only one of these I have??? I tried to figure out what the “shenzhouxing” prepaid card is but basically got no where.The Shoko Translates guide does NOT have instructions on this part, at least not for desktop? And the pages look pretty differently on desktop. Anyway. Here goes nothing...I’m mostly relying on C&P and Google translate. *sweatdrop*
So, there are two tabs, but I can’t C&P them and I have no idea what they say. However, the one on the right doesn’t have any boxes for entering stuff?? So I’m gonna stick with the left...OH. It’s a page for doing security questions. Oh god, um.
Alright. So. Put your password in the top box. For the security questions, what they say is basically irrelevant, except it’s worth noting that the default option is apparently not a question - it’s just “select one.” If, like me, you don’t know Chinese...just pick whichever questions, and put in answers you’ll remember. It doesn’t give a damn if your answers are correlated (though, the first one on the list has something to do with dad, and the second on the list has something to do with mom, I recognize those characters, ha. It doesn’t let you pick the same questions twice...and there are two near the bottom that I THINK might be “father’s birthday” and “mother’s birthday.” And one about elementary school. Sorry, I’m distractable. The point is, the questions don’t matter as long as they accept your answers! Yes, it accepts English ones, and no it doesn’t have anyway of knowing if your answers correlate to the questions at all. TAKE A SCREENCAP OF YOUR CHOSEN QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS AND SAVE IT BECAUSE YOU’LL NEED THEM AGAIN!!! Do your pattern match thingy, then click the green button, and there’s another page which looks like it’s asking me to re-enter the same answers.
Click the green button on that second page, and there’s a new page with a single line of Chinese text:
“恭喜你,密保设置成功,点击此处跳转到用户基本信息页面”
which, according to google translate, is
“Congratulations, the secret security setting is successful, click here to jump to the user basic information page.”
Guess I’ll click the thing.
ALRIGHT. So, after doing all that, it takes me back to a home page? Awesome. Whatever. As long as it worked. Click on that red one in the navigation bar again, and NOW when you go to the “international credit card payment” one...
AHA THIS IS VERY PROMISING, lol. So, based on Shoko Translate’s guide, that place drop down menu with “17″ written says “USD” after it, and that it’ll get me 10,000 points. It looks like it processes payments through Paypal; based on my experience with Paypal, that means you may not need an actual Paypal account? But I’m honestly not sure, and I’ve had a Paypal account for 20 years, so I’m just gonna, ya know, use that.
A little window pops up that I’m assuming (blind guessing) is a “this will take you to another page/open a new window, is that a thing you want?” and I clicked the option on the right, and yep, it opened my Paypal. I’ve got a card on file, so...I’m just doing that. (I’d...better make sure I actually have $17 in my account... *another sweat drop*...okay yes I have like $80, wooo...oh, crap, I accidentally paid from my business account, sigh...well, there was def money in there but I’d better pay myself back...ANYWAY.)
Do the payment thing!
It redirects back to JJWXC!
It says something in big bold letters and I have absolutely no idea what! But then it loads, and it’s all the Chinese that I now recognize as my personal account page, and when I scroll to the bottom and...
...well I have no idea what any of that says but it sure as hell LOOKS like victory. Now to see if I can actually, ya know, buy a thing! I can’t afford to get everything I’d like to at once - I’m pretty broke - so I’m going to start with Tian Guan Ci Fu. It’s my favorite danmei novel, and one of my favorite books of all time, AND it’s by MXTX so even though I can’t buy MDZS on here, I can still support her. I linked to it yesterday in my previous post (which, again, is here).
Author: 墨香铜臭
Title: 天官赐福
Direct Link:
https://href.li/?http://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=3200611
Now...
1. scroll down to the chapter list and click on the first one that says [VIP] next to it. Click the chapter title.
2. the circled button is “select all”
3. a pop up checks if you actually meant to do that. click the one on the left to confirm.
4. scroll to the bottom, and...
5. ignore those two check boxes, you might think they’re a ToS confirmation or a “are you sure” but they’re actually about subscribing to the book (which is pointless, since it’s finished) at least according to google.
6. ...uh...shit...now I have to figure out which of these buttons actually does the thing...um...oh thank God, it’s in the Shoko Translates Guide. So, there are five buttons right below the line saying how many points I have. The first is “confirm purchase” so, ya know, just ignore the other ones and click it.
7. A dialog box popped up! It says how many I spent and how many I have left and a bunch of Chinese and two mystery buttons...thank God, again, for Shoko translates, apparently they’re “read now” on the left and “read later” on the right. I’m gonna “read now” just to see if it worked...
8. Well...it sure looks like a book??? I have the PDF translations (a copy from before it was removed, and no, I won’t share it), and, um...okay, so the first unlocked chapter is 21...oh hey, I see San Lang (三郎)! That’s, like, the only thing on this whole page I can read! lmao. Anyway, comparing, like, pagination, and the placement of the exactly one thing I can read, YES, this definitely worked!
SO.
This has been your second installment of “disaster dumb white person who speaks no Chinese liveblogs their way through figuring out how the HELL to buy danmei on JJWXC.” If this has been helpful to you, please REBLOG, SIGNAL BOOST, and more importantly, SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE DANMEI AUTHORS!!!!!!
(I own TGCF. I’m so happy omfg. 😭 😭 😭 😭 )
(and as a reminder: I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. If you have a question that requires that someone know what they’re doing, DON’T ASK ME. Instead, try the Shoko Translates guide I linked at the beginning!!! Here, I’ll even link it again. USE IT. DO THE THING.)
#unforth rambles#tgcf#mdzs#svsss#2ha#erha#guardian#hell if remember what else i tagged yesterday#here guys i did the thing#now it's your turn#and now i've gotta go do my actual job
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Why is no one point out that Veronica is drinking and using drugs as much as Jughead? Like is a fuck up paralel but is a true one. The girl needs help.
Because she’s not (but she does need help, which I will get to!)
Veronica drinks, sure, a lot of adults do, and while we’re not aware how much, it doesn’t affect her life like it does Jughead’s. She’s not addicted, she’s not dependent on it. She can have other types of drinks/liquids whereas Jughead is struggling to not have it all the time, thus his sobriety being part of his plot.
Veronica may have done jingle jangle before, but last night’s ep (9/15/21) when she brought a case full for the guys, she didn’t take any of it. Her and Chad were away from the group, sipping on the alcohol she brought. It was a distraction while her plan rolled into motion, so Veronica’s use of alcohol and “drugs” cannot be compared to Jughead’s because he is the one that has a problem with it.
HOWEVER, I do agree with you that Veronica needs help. During The Night Gallery episode with Archie, Betty, and Jughead’s traumas and backstories being shown, they didn’t include Veronica because they felt she wasn’t needed, which was absolutely fucking dumb because once again they skirt over the shit she’s going through and act like it doesn’t matter.
It’s now CANON that everyone including the viewers know that Chad purposefully crashed the helicopter to manipulate Veronica, and she’s in a toxic relationship with him trying to get out, but apparently that’s not traumatic enough to reserve her a slot in the episode to highlight and deal with it 🙃
I love Veronica, she’s one of my top favorite characters, but the way her character is treated on this damned show is so fucked up. They clearly do not care about Veronica in any way, which has been shown time and time again.
It’s like the writers don’t know that you can be a badass boss ass bitch and still have trauma/stuff you need to go through. Veronica is never allowed to really show any emotion other than “I’m a tough girl I got this” and then when people who don’t understand her character (aka most people who aren’t Veronica stans—I have seen some who do though) hate on her they do absolutely nothing to stop it (which is a whole other problem with these writers and another post).
Sorry for going off on this whole tangent… Veronica is one of my top favorite characters in general (along with Malia Tate and Isaac Lahey from Teen Wolf, and JJ from Outer Banks… if you know them you’ll see a pattern lmao) so I get very defensive when people hate on characters who just aren’t treated fairly by either the writers or the fandom.
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Thank you, well the thing is, i'm 19yo , i'm about to leave my country (where i have to be waaay deep in the closet if i don't want to go in jail) . I'm going to france for my studies i already have friends there and i can't wait to be my real self but now that i think about it... Even tho i still have my V card, I know what turns me on and what doesn't, I'm a little scared of going out with a girl for the first time, knowing that I would like to top cause I only feel pleasure 'at the thought of making someone else feel good, and I still don't have any real experience and that's enough to scare the sh* out of me.
I know it sounds stupid but now that I know that I will soon be able to be really free without taking the risk of ending up in jail, I think about this kind of thing more often, I'm a little embarrassed that I don't have any experience.
excuse my english, it's not my mother tongue
-🦊
Okay, firstly, I’m sorry for answering kinda late.
Secondly, I’m sorry that you have to be deep af in your country, but I’m SO glad you’re going somewhere where you can finally be yourself.
But onto the main point now.
There's no need to be embarrassed, gay (umbrella term) ppl generally experience these things later on lin like. Compared to straight ppl, who tend to experience these things as teenagers (even tho you're still 19). But even if that wasn’t the case, there's still no need to be embarrassed.
For instance. I'm 20- Turning 21 in 5 months.
And I am the biggest virgin to ever virgin (which has surprised quite a few ppl lmao). I have 0 experience in this stuff. I haven’t done shit with someone. And that’s fine. And I know I’m a top, bc that's where I feel comfortable.
With you being “older” you tend to know what you like more than other things, and that's just added with social media and stuff too. But you’re still allowed to experiment with stuff if you want to, but it’s not a must, bc you still know what you like.
As long as you’re comfortable, it’s fine.
The best advice I could give you tho?
When you get to that point with someone, tell them. Tell them that you’re not experienced in that stuff, and don’t be embarrassed, everyone has to start somewhere. Be open with what you want to do, like that you’re a top and stuff. And you’ll be fine.
Hope this has helped you, at least a lil bit!
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I think i saw someone once conflate bear/twink with butch/femme respectively as the gay male alternative and... dont think that's how that works, i've known many a femme bear
Lmaooo god
I try to not be too flippant about the butch/femme discourse because I know it comes from a hurt space where communities have been violated and infiltrated. Where no LGBT group can have their own shit because there’s morons saying you can be an aroace gay man or a bisexual lesbian or you can be queer because your dick only works on thursdays and fridays or whatever
Like... I get it.
“This is mine, I don’t want you to take it from me” is a valid thing, especially when we know that when those things are taken, they lose/change meaning to the point of creating tangible harm.
This is not one of those cases. This is like a group of people baking cookies together, going “Oh, this is gonna be our thing we do every week together,” and then some people leaving the baking party upset that the other people are eating the cookies... that you all baked together. They aren’t “yours,” they’re OURS and have been since cookie mix was invented.
The only one trying to take away the cookies are the ones insisting they’re only for them.
And then trying to point to gay men and bi men and... yes, bisexual women, and go “Actually, you use BROWNIES for your sweets, THESE terms are your equivalent, like, no, bear/twink aren’t butch/femme alternatives... neither are stag/doe lmao
I think one of the easiest indicators of “Has this person ever actually talked to LGBT people over the age of 30 or like... done even basic skimming of LGBT history” is how exclusive they think the terms butch/femme are... NOT even getting in the fact that cishets use the term butch and like... femme is just a french word (does anyone remember when some like... forever 21 shirt had the word woman/women in multiple languages and it had the word femme on it because... france and people called it appropriation??)
I really think there’s an issue in online LGBT culture where issues are being conflated with each other. Like cishets casually using the word queer is not comparable to butch/femme being “stolen” by people who have been using the terms since their conception. A bi man calling his bi bf butch isn’t the same as a cishet girl calling herself her man’s femme. Femme bisexual is not comparable to someone using the term bisexual lesbian.
This is just a lot of pissing on the ground to mark territory and it all fucking reeks.
And, just like any other case of pissing in public, it’s majorly embarrassing to be witnessing the pissing. Like it does not belong here. Lmao.
Like please just read a book... talk to a LGBT person who didn’t learn everything from twitter threads and tumblr rants... touch a blade of grass and maybe think long and hard about why THIS is the hill you want to die on
#ask#anonymous#butch femme discourse#idk man#i have never seen anyone actually able to articulate the harm of like...#other LGBT people using the terms butch/femme#and it's because they ALRAEDY HAVE BEEN and butch/femme are still right there#lmao#tehy're still standing#after a fucking century-ish of use by bisexuals and gay men#like it's okay#the meaning of them has changed#but it wasn't because of other people using the term#it was people who chanaged it to include butch 4 butch and femme 4 femme#which wouldn't work with the original meaning lmaooo#q slur cw
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wonder if part of why the swtor jedi-sith conflict plays the way it does with “sith stans” and etc because the sith empire are functionally saturday morning cartoon villains - “murder and mayhem await!” compared to the more, i guess, believable evil of the republic/jedi following good ideals to bad conclusions and justifying war crimes
I'd certainly say it doesn't help things, you're right! I have...a lot of issues with the Jedi and their portrayal (especially in the Legends/SWTOR era), but I also recognise that a lot of that is very personal to me and that another fan might feel differently. Long, ranty post ahead so if that's not your deal, skip this one.
TL;DR: thinking critically about the behaviour of the Good Guys bad, I guess, since they're the good guys and you're obviously not allowed to use your own agency to decide something they do makes you deeply, viscerally uncomfortable. And God help you if you disagree with anything they do and cite personal experience behind your (very justified) avoidance of that rhetoric/teaching, because Bad Things Justified If Good People Do Them and how dare you have different personal experiences and responses. If that's what you do, you're doing fandom wrong /s Also, bad writing choices of the writers themselves that perpetuate toxic, harmful viewpoints and/or stereotypes don't mean anything when said viewpoints/stereotypes are the Bad Guys because...Bad Guys Aren’t Supposed To Be People With Rights, Thoughts and Feelings Too, They’re Just Evil, (cringe)
Disagreeing with someone’s opinions is fine, but if you’re going to deliberately expose yourself to content you don’t like and then attack the person that is making the content because they made it and it upset you when you went looking for it....you are, in fact, the one at fault babes. No one is holding you hostage, you can block tags or unfollow a person (especially me. I really don’t care honest to god, if my posts are not your jam just leave. please.) if you hate what they post so much and are unable to just scroll past things you don’t like to stay for things you do. I’ve done it and will continue to do so, and my fandom experience is happier for it. Also, people are human and sometimes we’re tired and we make mistakes like we miss a trigger tag, and you are within your right to come to the person and point that out, but you are not within your right to threaten them because they made a mistake. Then you’re just a dick.
But I still wouldn't be the one going around (passive) aggressively attacking other fans for disagreeing with my opinions and again, this is based on personal experience, but I've seen a lot more of that stuff from "pro-Jedi" people who seem to be conveniently okay with shit like mass-genocide and cultural erasure because "the Jedi are the good guys and the (OT) Sith are fascists!"
I don't interact with the subsect of fans that do think "the (OT) Empire did nothing wrong hurr durr" unironically (and for good reason, I don't agree with that viewpoint either and the fact that half the time the "defence" of these other fans is "well you're pro-fascist then!!" lmao) but there's a very big gap between the OT Empire which is rightfully a mirror of fascism and dictatorial governments and I do, in fact, raise my eyebrows in heavy criticism and disdain at the writers of the TOR-era deliberately choosing to "justify" the ultimate end being said fascist Empire by making the Sith species (and as always I preface this by saying I am in fact white & therefore know I have priveledge and can only "relate" on a much shallower level as POC fans, but there are places where I do find them more relatable than the TOR-era Jedi which reek of conservative, pearl-clutching Christianity (which I spent way too much of my life having forced upon me by the bible-bashing Evangelists(tm) in my family) to me and I just don't have the fucks to give to spend time fixing something that's honestly traumatising for me to be reminded of):
-heavily Indigenous/POC-coded
-"tribal" and not in a properly-researched and respectfully portrayed sense but in a very deliberate "these people are savage and need to be colonised and "sophisticated" by the More Acceptible (Human) Dark Jedi" even though they had their own society, belief systems, and even had technology - just not in the "socially acceptible, conventional sense" I guess
-perpetuating this by adding slavery and all of that can of worms into the mix too, just to drive home the "evil and bad" prototype ig. I'm not even gonna speak more on this part because it just makes me angry.
-Deliberately giving them more "alien" or inhuman characteristics, which while by itself is not necessarily a bad thing, put it together with all the other things?? Big. Fucking. Oof.
-Were literally exterminated and the survivors selectively bred for ONLY the "bad and evil" traits for not agreeing with the Jedi's beliefs. Their own practises and beliefs were automatically "evil" and "wrong" just because they didn't want to "convert" (sniff sniff, Christianity, is that you?)
A direct quote for those who can't be bothered to click and read the link:
For nearly two thousand years, superstition, loyalty and sympathy were bred out as the two groups interbred, and qualities such as cunning, ambition and affinity to the Force were favored, which shaped Sith society over the centuries.[3][21][22] In the Sith Empire, as time progressed pure-blooded Sith were steadily bred out,[6] resulting in only a few pure-blooded Sith left in the Sith Empire by the time of the Great Hyperspace War.[13] Long after, the true species in the Empire were believed to have gone extinct due to the interbreeding process.
And conversely the Jedi:
-Deny young children contact with their parents, siblings and families from the moment their Force sensitivity shows (hmmmm. )
-Continually and actively support the condemnation and Exile of "imperfect" Jedi, hell, it's even pointed out on Wookieepedia, that any Force sensitive, even those who are not aligned to either faction, but that train with or follow teachings that are not Jedi Approved (tm) is labelled as a "Dark Jedi" by the Jedi Order
Although "Dark Jedi" originally referred to a Jedi who had fallen to the dark side, it could also refer to uninitiated Force-sensitives who received no Jedi training but began their careers under another Dark Jedi. Others were simply dark-side users who did not follow the teachings of the Sith or other dark side organizations.
because "oh noooo you do not follow the way of the Truth and the Light you horrible person how dare you defy The One True Correct Teaching, that makes you the Devil Incarnate no matter what" UGH.
-Continuously push the idea (very heavily) that Emotions Are Bad, which just creates a bunch of emotionally-stunted powderkegs unable to recognise, confront and deal with said emotions (and as I've said, I would know, I was one and maybe still am in some ways lmao) , then blames said powderkeg for exploding because they were never taught how to handle the emotions in the first place.
(Fuck "there is no emotion, there is peace", that's not how people work and never will be lmao)
I don't really know what else to say about this to be honest, because even though I've only been on tumblr about a year now, I'm already tired of this constant "I'm right, you're wrong" finger-pointing between those people in the fandom.
Cause to some of these "pro-Jedi" people it's an unthinkable crime to dare to have a different opinion to them and just want to be left alone, I guess. I've literally been attacked for saying "I don't like the Jedi and find dealing with their dogma too traumatising based on personal experience and trauma from my childhood so I'm going to avoid it but you do you"
I've had American Christians (tm) clap back to that with the ever-wonderful "LMAO bitch you don't have religious trauma, you didn't grow up in the bible-belt, stop trying to be edgy, shut up and go to therapy"
(all of this is sarcasm, for those who need me to spell it out for you. I'm still traumatised by the shit I went through and have to constantly check myself and my own feelings because of the toxic "habits" those teachings tried to push onto me as a child and I have zero tolerance and patience for your (not you, ssalmon, but the royal "you" as it were) victim-blaming abuse apologism "gotchas")
because 1) clearly American Christianity and the bible-belt are the only insidious and harmful subsect of Christianity and it's not like the concept of Evangelism as a whole is inherently toxic, harmful, and traumatising to those subjected to it right 2) Obviously there's a Stated Right Way To Be Traumatised and anyone who falls outside of that (Non-Existent) handbook is "faking it for attention" 3) bold of them to assume that curating my own fandom (and life) experience, and refusing to engage with things that trigger me, isn't something that I literally fucking learned in therapy lmao
Also, I find it funny how these are the people going around attacking people like me, who are literally minding our own motherfucking business, but then claim to preach “love and tolerism” and all this other bullshit. Karen, sweetie, only one of us is going around telling people they deserve to be murdered/stabbed for disagreeing with thier opinion about a videogame and pointing out that “hey, that’s...very yikes maybe don’t do that, step back and calm down” and it ain’t me (true story, this happened a couple of months ago and I don’t wanna dredge the post up because it’s very upsetting to think about) People are allowed to have opinions, and they don’t have to agree with your opinion just because that’s what you think, and the second that you sink to sending people death threats because they don’t share your opinion, you are, in fact, the asshole in that conversation.
It was even funnier because the person in question followed me first, I initially thought they were pretty cool so I followed back, then they threw a massive temper-tantrum and threw a bunch of very upsetting and triggering shit at me without my consent because I didn’t agree with them (I’d even put my opinions in tags on MY blog in an attempt to be courteous and not hijack their post with negativity, in hindsight perhaps I should have made my own post in the first place and I do acknowledge that BUT if that’s all they’d said I would have apologised and moved on, quite gladly, there was no need for them to explode the way they did at me for...making a mistake because I’m a stranger on the internet who didn’t know them & wasn’t a mind-reader and I happened to miss a trigger tag that I didn’t think of at the time lmao)
This post is getting awful long and rambly so I'm going to shut up now, but that's my take on it I guess, I hope that's what you were getting at and if it's not I apologise, I've been taking a huge step back and actively just avoiding any and all major posts related to this discourse as of a few months ago because it just infuriates and upsets me too much, it’s not worth the detriment to my mental health, I’m just here to make friends who are also hyperfixated on SWTOR and have fun vibing and talking about our characters, not get into one-sided morality debates with pearl-clutchers. 🤷
#swtor critical#fandom critical#jedi critical#tw: stabbing mention#tw: death threats#tw: genocide mention#elven rants#elven screams into the void#<< vent-y/ranty tags. block these + any specific faction/character criticals if you don't want to see posts like this#i think i've got all the triggers but if i've missed something just approach me like a normal human being and ask me to tag for it#and i will lmao that's literally in my blog's blurb but Some People can't read ig#🤷#i'd even tag some of this as#purity culture bullshit#because imo that's what it boils down to in essence#''love and forgiveness the only morally good pure way to live hee hee anyone who does not do this exactly is Bad and Evil''#i am begging you to find other braincells purity police. and then actually learn to USE THEM. please
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Shino for the Friday ask meme?
The ask meme was: something something character + ship analysis!
I’ve never really thought that hard about Shino, so my first step was to try and research popular Shino ships. I first tried to do this by going into his character tag on AO3 and looking in the most popular relationship tags, but none of them actually included him. Then I just typed in “Aburame Shino/” and looked at what AO3 suggested. Then I was going to only list the top three but I am a scientist and I like data, so I went through all of them and now we have to cut for space.
Shino/Kiba (217 stories)
Shino/Naruto (61 stories)
Shino/Hinata (59 stories)
Shino/Tenten (55 stories)
Shino/Reader (50 stories)
Shino/Shikamaru (35 stories)
Shino/Hinata/Kiba (34 stories)
Shino/OC (25 stories) and Shino/OFC (19 stories)
Shino/Ino (21 stories)
Shino/Sakura (21 stories)
Shino/Kankuro (19 stories)
Shino/Neji (13 stories)
Shino/Lee (9 stories)
Shino/Gaara (3 stories)
AO3 also had Shino/Harry Potter but then NO fics came up and I was disappointed. Let Shino go to Hogwarts!!
So, Shino/Kiba is the clear leader here. I didn’t actually go too much through the types of fics present, but I assume the appeal of this ship rests on 1) they are teammates and therefore must Get Each Other in an intimate way that other characters don’t, 2) One Quiet Character and One Loud Character is a fun ship dynamic, and then 3) fans do lean more towards mlm ships because... complicated reasons lmao. I assume the appeal of Shino/Naruto is similar to #2 and 3, with the loss of #1 made up for with closeness by being in the academy and also greater general fan fondness for Naruto over Kiba.
I’m actually surprised Shino/Hinata has so few stories! Fans really like Hinata, and I think Shino would be really supportive of her. Also I think Hinata has the potential to vibe with Shino pretty well... they both seem like characters who value intimacy in spending just.... little quiet moments with their loved ones. Like, I can see them having really compatible love languages?
Shino/Tenten being #4 is really interesting. Is the theme of the ship being characters forgotten by the plot?? LMAO. That’s sort of an interesting dynamic, though... Like, I’ve always conceptualized Tenten as someone who refuses to be forgotten, even if her teammates are a snarky genius and the two loudest people in Konoha. Meanwhile, Shino seems to struggle with making his opinions known.... I think not due to shyness, but because he assumes them to be self-evident? So in this respect I can see Tenten being the one to turn to Shino and be like AND WHAT DO YOU THINK? and just like... remind him to articulate himself out loud. Meanwhile, Shino is a breath of fresh air compared the high-energy people Tenten usually hangs out with.
Anyway! I think that most of these ships are friends-to-lovers (except Kankuro and Gaara, which I guess could be shades of enemies-to-lovers or rivals-to-lovers). Which is a fine dynamic but we all know I like weird crackships and enemies-to-lovers!! So here’s some ideas:
Shino/Gaara - Shino draws Gaara in the chunin exams instead of Lee. This would be a really interesting fight, since I think kikaichu could potentially get around sand, but also idk how they’re fair against a jinchuriki? Anyway, absolutely no one is expecting any of the rookie 9 to make a dent in Gaara, so Shino definitely makes an impression.
Shino/Deidara - YES I WILL JUST SHIP DEIDARA WITH ANYONE. Iirc team 8 is in the area for the Deidara/Sasuke fight, so let’s just say that Deidara survives the fight but is severely injured. Shino points out anatomically inaccuracies in a clay bug and Deidara loses his shit. Romance!!
I almost made a joke in the above ship like “who would win -- Team 8 tracking Sasuke or Karin tracking Deidara??” I actually don’t remember if that was what either party was even doing. but then: Shino/Karin tracker ship. They have to work together for something post-canon. Karin has a LOT of questions about the.... the bug thing*?? How does that work.
*My personal HC for the Aburame clan is that people in Konoha are pretty used to The Bug Thing. Like, they’re taught from a young age to recognize kikaichu and not to hurt them. People from other villages can be... less understanding.
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ALL Coroika ones (excluding ones you haven't done / ones you don't want to do)
OK. HERE WE GO THEN.
1. character I find the strongest
I mean if Hivemind Could control the other team it’s probably him. But hmm I guess realistically This comes down to whether goggles or sussy goggles will have their plot armor break first : )
2. Weak character
Crusty Sean ain’t shit
3. Character I find annoying
ummmm. thinky. I really honestly do not find anyone annoying enough to really warrant a strong negative reaction lol....
4. Character I find cool
n pacer 🥺 I mean just Look at her. she’s tall and she’s hot and she has a Long Gun. good for her!
5. Character I like the most
It’s sooo hard to find a favorite so I’ll just give my top 5: I like hivemind, vintage, omega, prince, and inkfall
6. Character I hate
I Do not have capability to hate a squid....
7. Already answered
8. Overrated character?
mmmmmm I’m just gonna say the S4 as a whole bc I see So much content of them compared to the other characters but I don’t... really care I guess? they’re fun. I like seeing all the coroikas
9. Underrated character?
inkfall .......
10-13. Already answered
14. Character I would Befriend
*places a pack of shin ramyun black under a box and stick trap and waits for (shadow) vintage to take the bait*
15. Who would be my Rival
Lmao aren’t the squid people like really tiny. Like really really tiny. I can punt them all into the sun no one can be my rival
16. Most trustworthy character
i would trust omega with my Life
17. Least trustworthy character
shadow vintage would tell the whole fucking city i pissed myself in class even if I paid him not to
18. Most pure character
Prince... or shadow vintage. They both have reminders set on their phones to ping them like 10 times a day to remind their friends to drink water
19. Most Evil character
i Hope it’s shadow prince. he definitely has a DIE CRY HATE sign in his room
20. Best girl
Omega, your hand in marriage please
21. Best boy
vintage, cause he’s the only character with a bowl
22. Already andwered
23. Character id trust to hold my drink a party
prince but honestly he could take a sippy if he wants I don’t really care
24. Character that would work in another media
I want to see vintage run with the cookies so I can plop him in my lobby and tap him until he loses his mind. He and lemon cookie could compare whose bowl is more round
25. Already answered
26. Least creative character
Justice be like Yeah I do digital art and then shows you this:
27-29 don’t care
30. Character I would want to be stuck on an island with
hivemind because he can just summon down the space station or whatever and ummm you know I didn’t think this through I don’t know how the international space station could help us in this situation I just think it would be cool
31. Character I would Not want to be stuck on an island with
Safari cause I don’t need his weird bad luck curse anywhere near me
32-33 already answer
34. Character that can be trusted around children
aviators he’d be so great around kids. teach them the wonders of palm trees and a pretty sunset
35-36. Already answered
37. Character most recognizable to ppl outside the fandom.
I would love to think it’s aloha even if people don’t realize it because of this fantastic iconic image
38-39. Already answered
40. Character that needs more content
Inkfall...... 👁
41. Who needs Less content
Feel like I’m just repeating myself from the overrated/underrated questions. I’m just gonna say the S4 again
42. Shortest character
Vintage. hasn’t grown an inch since middle school and he’s so pissed about it
43. Already answered
44. Best cook
Well canonically it’s gotta be army but I imagine that double egg could whip up a fantastic barbecue
45. Character that should never be in the kitchen
Well canonically it’s Emperor, and that’s entirely right he’s gonna burn your shake
46. Most leaderlike character
ummm well it’s rider for sure. if this is about characters who Aren’t already leaders though probably N-pacer or omega (still gunna hold onto my hc that omega is the secret real xblood leader and just lets vintage do it bc she got too tired of it but she can reclaim her authority whenever she wishes)
47. Most Badass character
Omega, your hand in marriage please
48. Most talented character
Probably metry, I can totally see her as the has straight A’s and also has too many extracurriculars that she completely excels at type
49. Smartest character
Either hachi, hivemind, or justice only because they have massive Most Likely to Be a Math Major vibes and as someone who is terrible and the worst at math, anyone who is good at it is just insanely smart to me LOL
50. Fastest character
Lil judd
Thank you :) for the ask :)
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ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO
I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU
1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)
A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing
2. Why do you write fanfiction?
to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)
3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?
Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.
4. Are there any writers that inspire you?
In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!
5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?
so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe
6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?
dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing
7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?
I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL
8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?
erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.
9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?
SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.
10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?
I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!
11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?
sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao
12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.
HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child
13. First fandom you ever wrote for?
pretty sure it’s digimon....
14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?
currently shokugeki no soma!!!!
15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?
uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.
16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?
characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!
17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.
unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE
18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?
I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.
19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?
depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!
20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?
shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin
21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)
romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!
22. Do you listen to anything while you write?
Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?
23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?
completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention
24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?
multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....
25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!
I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?
26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?
MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)
27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?
I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!
IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:
and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.
BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭
28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?
I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !
29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?
Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.
30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?
F L U F F.
31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!
elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.
32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.
a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.
33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?
I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.
34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.
this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi
“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”
Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.
“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.
“You guess?”
Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.
“No.”
Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.
Nakiri Erina is his forever.
this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics
SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...
(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)
35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!
I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.
however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc
I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....
#ask meme#ask rad shit#writing#writing by rad#fanfic#reina girl u put me thru it I swear lol#thank u for sending!!#ur amazing!!!!
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☕️- the "fast fashion" industry
This is an interesting subject! I mean, you know, I don't love fast fashion. I've been selling vintage (my vintage shop is called Sara Louise Vintage! go look!) for seven years now and collecting it for even longer. And fast fashion - oof, the quality just does not compare. (Putting the rest behind the cut as I have a lot of thoughts on this from working in the fashion industry haha.)
Flipping through racks at thrift shops you can literally feel the difference from garment to garment. Even made in America juniors fashion from the 1990s still feels sturdier and is better constructed than Fashion Nova/Missguided/Forever 21 etc. which can feel (barely) one step above Halloween costume construction. And thrift shop racks are stocked with the latter because it's made to be disposable like that, to take advantage of momentary trends at the expense of the vast number of people, often women, in the supply chain being paid poverty wages to work long hours in horrifying conditions (thinking of Rana Plaza still makes me feel sick) to keep churning out tons of this stuff every day. It's awful for the human beings who make these items, the ones who live with the pollution generated by the production of them, and for all of us who come to expect incredibly cheap prices on clothes, thus devaluing that labor even further and feeding into the cycle.
But it can also be hard as fuck to remove yourself from that. I worked for five years at a fashion brand that rode the wave of "sustainable" fashion while in actuality that was fucking bullshit - I remember days where the factory in India had to completely shut down because the air quality was so bad due in large part to pollution from that factory and others in the same district. My coworker visited that same factory and saw the workers dyeing fabric by hand in buckets in a crowded room where it was about 100 degrees and humid. Meanwhile, this brand was marketing itself as ethical slow fashion, while releasing multiple drops per season and wildly overproducing stock, and the quality was often not that fucking great, especially for the hundreds of dollars they were charging for each piece. And that's like, a fraction of the terribleness, and they were certainly not alone in pulling shady shit like that! (Remember when ethical fashion giant Everlane decided to union-bust? Uhhh yikes lmao!)
Which is to say: this shit is complicated. I recognize that cheap clothes are the only option for some people, and that it's especially hard to shop ethically (whatever the fuuuuck that means) if you're over like a size 12. Working in fashion and seeing behind the curtain, especially at a brand where the owners were pretty much openly lying about ethics and sustainability for clout, was disillusioning as fuck for me. I shop secondhand almost exclusively now for clothing, and the new things I buy (underpants, size 10 shoes which I fucking wish I could find more of when vintage shopping, 34E bras which are hard enough to find as it is oh my god) tend to get worn to death. Thrift shops have plenty of shit if you're willing to look, and buying vintage is pretty much always supporting a small business rather than yet another megacorp. Neither contribute to the creation of yet more clothes that the world does not need, made by people who live lives that you would not enjoy yourself. I know that's not possible for everybody - but like eating a largely plant-based diet, it's something I do to feel okay about the world I live in, and what I take from it.
Thank you for asking me to discuss this very intense subject upon which I could continue expounding for hours. 🤪
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One-Shot
Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Word Count: 3,995
Spoilers: Not that I know of?
Warnings: Changed a little bit of certain scenes for story purposes. Some Anti-Steve, Pro-Tony propaganda lmao. Mention of Tony’s funeral. OOC Bucky. Absolute trash. Make your own assumptions about readers life kinda thing lmao.
“So, we’re supposed to trust him? Just like that?” Sam stood between her and Steve, eyeing Bucky. “Because Steve –.”
She shrugged, cutting Sam off. She wasn’t really interested in hearing the rest of what he had to say. “Steve’s the one you need to complain to, not me. Besides, I’m not even here for Steve. You are.”
Sam looked at her, he was under the impression she was here for the same reason he was, it seemed now that he was wrong. “What does that mean?”
She put her hands in the pocket of her pullover hoodie and kept her eyes forward. “Sorry to break it to you, but my loyalties lie with Stark. He is reasonably upset, for a lack of a better word, with Steve and his decisions and beliefs. I’m not here to agree with Steve, “oh boo-hoo the Sokovia Accords! Wah!” I signed them.” She scoffed, glancing at Sam. “I’m here for the former Sergeant Barnes and I’m here for you.”
Sam took a step back, visibly shocked. He glanced at Steve, who wasn’t giving them so much as a passing glance, but it was apparent he was listening to her. Steve carried on with his business off to the side, pretending he wasn’t the impacted by her words. Sam then glanced at Bucky, who was looking at them as they spoke. Bucky looked as though he was trying to understand them, specifically her and her reasonings for doing things. He wounded her and she still aided Steve in finding him. She had found him moments before Steve to warn him about what was to come and insulted the not-so-safe safe-house. She had successfully confused him. She didn’t seem to care that they could hear her speak either. It was almost as if she wasn’t trying to hide it, Bucky wasn’t entirely sure if that was her intention.
Sam pointed at Bucky. “Him? They guy that tried to kill us?” He looked at her, with his eyebrows raised.
“Meh, I wouldn’t say tried, more like failed to.” She watched a vehicle pull up. “But… yes, Sam. Him. Not Steve and his self-righteous morals. This is the god damn 21st century, this is not a war against Germany or a society you should be conforming to. This is – excuse my language, Rogers – fuckin’ stupid.” She looked past Sam to watch Steve’s reaction.
Steve glanced at her, partially amused and partially sick of the running joke. “Still not living it down I see.” He muttered to himself. He approached Clint, Wanda, and Scott who emerged from the vehicle.
She took her hands out of her pocket and slipped out of her pullover. “It really is stupid and there are not enough words in any existing and dead language to describe it. Swearing like a sailor doesn’t even help! I’m not here for Steve. I won’t keep it to myself anymore, he is self-righteous. Everything he does may be fine back in the ‘40s where he comes from and thinks he still lives, but not here, not now. Not in the 21st century. I’m here for you, Sam. A pararescue who walked back into this life because Captain America asked him to! You know loss, you lost a colleague – a friend. You are a great man and a good friend, Sam.
“I’m here for Clint, who has a family and shouldn’t be fighting this fight because of them and for them. For Clint who I’ve worked with and known for years. I’m here for Wanda, who is rightfully angry that Stark, my true ally, used to produce weapons – those of which were the reason she ended up where she did! I’m here for Scott, who I barely know. He has a kid! Why is he here?! I’m here for the former Sergeant Barnes who didn’t ask to be experimented on, to be “saved” from the fall, to be brainwashed.” She turned to Steve. “I’m here for everyone that isn’t named Steve Rogers because they gave me a reason to help you.” She walked up to Steve.
Bucky was ready to intervene, to pull her away from Steve if he had to or even try to punch her. He seemed to be the only one willing to do so. She approached Steve as if she would punch him or something of the sort. Instead she just stood in front of him. Bucky let his guard down seeing as he was wrong about what she would do to Steve.
“I’m not here for someone who thinks he is morally above everyone in this room.” She put a finger to his chest. “You think Stark is self-righteous? You think Stark views himself above everyone? He does it to hide the fact that he is insecure. You don’t have a reason to do it. Not saying Stark is correct, but neither are you.”
Steve grabbed her hand and removed it from his chest. He seemed unphased with her outburst. “And I am grateful that you are here for them.”
She pulled a small key out of her back pocket and unlocked the gauntlets on her arms. She threw the gauntlets and key at his feet. “Is this the part where we suit up? Because it looks like you all are slacking.”
“You sleep in that suit.” Steve took a step back. “Everyone that doesn’t sleep prepared – suit up.”
“Stand down, Captain!” She raised her voice at Steve, she had never truly raised her voice before that moment. She held Steve’s shield in one hand and had her other hand against Tony’s chest plate. She wasn’t pushing them a part; she was simply keeping Steve from continuing to hit Tony with the shield. “I will do it; you know I will.”
Steve stood up and stared down at her and Tony, seeing how serious she was with her threat. “Why did you come here?”
“It definitely wasn’t to babysit the three of you. I turn my back for five seconds and it all goes to shit, I feel like. Tony should be thankful I decided that following him was the best course of action.” She stood up, keeping her eyes on Tony. Tony kept his eyes on her, even after knowing her for so long, she was still unpredictable. He was on the ground it such a depressing state, she wondered what would have happened had she not stepped in. “You can’t beat the shit out of all of your problems, Steve. I’m taking Tony home, Get Sergeant Barnes out of here, NOW. And don’t you dare contact me unless it is about him.”
Bucky looked at her upon hearing his name slip past her lips in such an aggressive tone. He still was not sure why she kept doing what she was doing or why the only reason she be contacted was for him, but he did appreciate that she was willing to concern herself with him. Ever since Steve figured out the Winter Soldier was Bucky; she had always followed Steve to try to help. He watched her as she tried to hold Tony back from attempting to land another hit on Steve.
“Don’t do it, don’t do it.” She repeated in a low voice, trying to block him without using her powers.
“Steve.” Bucky said, not loud enough to be heard over Tony.
Tony stopped fighting against her and instead pointed a finger at her. “I don’t even know where the begin with you. You signed the Accords and you still ran off with Steve for his buddy over there. Did you know too? Do you know what his friend did? My parents are dead because of him. Do you have any idea what you’re fighting for?”
“Don’t do this now.” She took a step back, keeping herself between Tony and Steve.
“That shield doesn’t belong to you. My father made it.” Tony pushed her out of the way and approached Steve.
She glanced at Bucky. For a brief moment they locked eyes. She looked away from him quickly and turned her attention back to Tony and Steve.
Steve pushed the shield towards Tony. “Take it.”
Tony passed her the shield. She took it but not without glancing at him, she didn’t exactly want to be the one to carry it, but she was prepared to. “Stark, let’s go before I drag you myself.” She clipped the shield to her back and walked past them with Tony in tow.
“I’m sorry about…” Bucky started.
She stopped him. “Don’t.” She turned to look at him. Her eyes looked dull compared to the last few times Bucky saw her. They had always been filled with some kind of rage, excitement, or they were just bright. “I know you mean well, but this is the last thing I want to talk about, Sergeant Barnes.”
“Bucky.” He finally corrected her.
She barely nodded. “Sorry – Bucky.”
He kept his distance from her. Neither of them are very personable nor do they enjoy being close to people. Bucky did it more so out of respect for her, uncertainty of how close to her is too close. “Steve wanted to know if you were going to join us for dinner. He thought it was best that Sam or I ask you because well...”
She exhaled, amused. She figured Steve would send someone other than himself to fetch her. She looked back at the water for a moment, she wanted to stay for a while longer and let her emotions out in the only way she had ever known, but for the first time in a long time she craved interaction and distraction. “Steve is paying, right?” She flashed Bucky a grin. “Only way I’m going is if he pays.”
“I hope so, that’s how he got me.” Bucky smiled, joking along with her. “C’mon, I don’t want to get left behind.”
She followed Bucky. “Is it just us four?”
He shook his head. “Scott and Wanda are joining us.”
“What I’m hearing is, I get to pick a single person to ride with me in my car and Sam gets everyone else?” She jogged to catch up to walk beside him. “If that’s the case, I’ll take either you or Wanda.”
“Is that so?” Bucky looked over at her. “Would it be wrong if I grabbed that seat first?”
She thought about it for a moment. “I don’t believe so. Wanda doesn’t know she had the opportunity to ride with me.”
Bucky sat across from her, he dressed as thought he were trying too hard to blend in. She looked like she had this down to a science, she didn’t look as out of place as he did. Each time he had seen her she had some kind of suit on and was prepared for anything. This time, she looked very casual and relaxed, something he rarely saw from her. She also seemed a bit different than the last time he saw her, but he couldn’t place the difference.
He was silent, trying to figure her out as he has been since he had met her. She disappeared from everyone’s radars almost immediately after Tony’s death. She was untraceable for the following five months. Bucky was concerned, from what he knew about her, she wasn’t the type of person to leave without saying anything – Bruce had confirmed that for him a few months back. He did worry about her, not that he would admit it to anyone.
“You’re staring. I didn’t call Sam to bring you out here for you to stare at me with an expression like that, Bucky.” She said, pulling him back into reality. She had a cheeky smile plastered on her face. “I just wanted to check on you. Steve apparently got old, you’re stuck with Sam, you’re…” She motioned to his entire person. “…you.”
Bucky looked down at the table and nodded, taking some offense to what she had said, but also understanding what she had meant. “I’m me, so you had to check on me.”
“I couldn’t find the right words, I’m sure you know what I really meant though.” She slid him a catalog envelope that he seemed to have overlooked.
“What’s this?” He asked, picking it up.
“Nothing to worry about. I would wait to open it, though.” She flashed him a genuine smile.
Bucky looked at his name on the backside, beautiful calligraphy. She clearly planned to give this to him for whatever reason she had. She also took her time in writing his name across the back.
“I have something else for you.” She handed him a flip phone. “Sam mentioned something about it in the event you need some help. You need a way to call for it. I got everyone you would need from Agent Hill to that spider kid. These aren’t necessarily traceable either.”
Bucky took the phone from her. “You didn’t –.”
“But I did.” She leaned back, cutting him off. “Look… I’m sorry for disappearing on you two for a few months. I had to take care of something that took precedence over everything else. When I spoke with Sam, he mentioned that you had asked about me while I was gone. So… I did this.”
Bucky looked at her, almost feeling guilty for asking about her. Had Sam not told her that he asked about her maybe they wouldn’t be here talking. He couldn’t decide what was a better feeling. “You don’t seem like the type to just leave without saying anything.”
“You’re right, but sometimes it just has to happen. If the Falcon and the Winter Soldier need a hand from now on, I’m available.” She picked up her hot coffee.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Bucky said. “I’ve been meaning to ask, what do you call that power of yours?”
“Ferrokinesis. Or if you’ve ever watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, Metal-bending.” She set her elbow on the table and rested her chin in the palm of her hand.
Bucky sat back. “Remind me not to piss you off, then.” He chuckled.
She smiled. “I would never use your arm… although I did think about it years ago. Never got the chance because of the gauntlets. Had to stick with being thrown onto a car.”
Bucky sunk in the seat; remembering he did toss her onto the roof of a car like a ragdoll. He would have preferred to not have been reminded. “Why did you even have them in the first place?” He asked.
“They were created out of fear. Pierce was one of many who feared what I could do, and it eventually made sense. S.H.I.E.L.D was compromised, had Pierce not been H.Y.D.R.A, I wouldn’t have had them at all. The man who made the gauntlets though, he didn’t fear me. He made everyone believe there was one way to remove them, through Pierce.” She looked at the table with no readable expression.
Bucky understood what she was saying. “You’re telling me, as long as you had the time to remove them –.”
“Yessir. It was one hell of a game I played. Imagine if I fought you without the gauntlets.” She kept her gaze on the table, barely keeping a smile on her face.
Something was bothering her, and he could tell now.
Bucky sat down staring at the envelope. She told him it was nothing to worry about, yet the contents did worry him. He slowly opened it and pulled everything out. A chain slipped out from between some of the papers and hit the floor. A few small photographs slipped out as he picked up the necklace. He grabbed the photographs and looked at them. A few were of his family, and a few were of him and Steve. He placed the photographs next to him and looked at the chain, his military dog tags. He wasn’t sure if he should be angry with her for going out of her way to get the things he has seen so far or be thankful for someone like her doing something like this.
He flips through the stack of papers, some are far more important than others such as a list of living relatives, confidential files on him, documents stating that he is no longer a criminal and instead considered an Avenger, and a check. He had everything laid out around him, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was feeling or should be feeling now. Possibly angry, believing that this is what took precedence over everything else. Possibly happy. Grateful for the trouble she went through to do all of this for him. Skeptical and unsure of what to do about his living relatives and why that was included. Concerned if she had spoken to them and they know. Furious with the check – she has no business giving him that much money – which makes him wonder how she could afford to even do that.
He sits in silence, thinking it over and taking it all in. He doesn’t get the chance to considering making a phone call as his phone starts to ring. He doesn’t look to see who is calling him, instead he just answers.
“Hey, Buck – sorry for calling. I was just calling to make sure the phone actually works! Stupid of me not to test it out before giving it to you, right?” She came up with an excuse on the spot.
Bucky knew who it was as soon as she started speaking. “That’s not why you called.”
She was silent for a moment. “No, it’s not. I just wanted to see if you opened the envelope.” Her voice trailed.
“I did… was this why you left?” He asked. After looking at what was included, he understood why she said to open it later.
“No, like I said, it took precedence. This was kind of just a detour on my way home.” She was shivering, he could tell she was outside somewhere. “Thought you would appreciate some kindness and rewards. I mean… being Sam’s friend probably doesn’t come with rewards. Eh… it definitely doesn’t, I would know, I’m still waiting for my rewards!” She laughed.
Hearing her laugh made him smile. “Why don’t you just do something nice for yourself then?”
“That’s absurd. Oh! I have one more thing for you and I left it outside, I wasn’t able to give it to you earlier unfortunately. You can actually see it from your window because I am the master of this shit!” He could hear her grinning.
The curiosity she fueled compelled him to look out his window… only to find her outside. He pressed his forehead against the glass, disappointed and amused. “You.”
“Me! Yes! Hi!” She waved violently. “I’m the thing outside. And I’m on the phone with you! Bet you didn’t see that one coming!” She laughed to herself about her own genius.
Bucky opened the window. “Aren’t you cold?”
She hung up the phone and resorted to yelling to him. “I would’ve been fine if I didn’t decide to have ice cream before I got here! Do I regret my decision? I’ll do it again! Oh, I have a question for you.” She stuffed her hands in her coat pockets.
“Ask away.” He enjoyed this side of her. Very… interesting.
She swayed slightly. “So… a friend of mine told me you usually ask the girls out. How does it feel being on the other side?”
Bucky was surprised. “Are you asking me out?”
“Well, yeah. I tried to come up with a pickup line when I was planning this. Uh, yeah, I ended up with a wack ass plan of confuse the Bucky, give him things, and freeze to death as I scream at him. I mean, it’s working right? Am I even doing this right?” She smiled.
She definitely is interesting.
“Listen… I might be a little too aggressive, I might come off too strong, and I very much go overboard. Can you tell? And it’s scientifically proven that I also don’t know much about anything. But I do know that I care about you and I would do anything for you. And I do know Sam actually bullied me when I was just crushing on you. Listen, Sam is a terrible wingman off the field… I was so afraid he’d call me out and ruin my life. I – anyway – I absolutely know for a fact that I fall fast and hard and my feeling are wrong 99% of the time. This has got to be the 1% where I’m right.” She was nervous and cold which was an awful combination.
“You inherited the stupid. I’m letting you inside.” Bucky thought about what she said on his was down the get the door for her.
She was already inside. “Door was unlocked, I’m guessing Sam…” She had slipped her arms in her coat and left her sleeves dangle. “You know what made it worse?”
“You did not drive with the windows down.” Bucky sighed, knowing she did.
“I like to feel cool. I will freeze to death before I admit I am lame.” She brought her coat up to her nose and shuddered. “Are you free Saturday evening?”
Bucky looks at her. “You’re working tonight?”
She nods. “Nothing too bad. I changed before I came here. I don’t sleep prepared; Steve is a liar.”
Bucky chuckles. “I wouldn’t think sleeping prepared would be comfortable.”
“I have to disappoint you, by the way. I’m not staying here much longer either. I have to go home sometimes.” She smiled. “I’d like to be home long enough to have a pet. How cool would it be if I just had a whole god damn lizard?”
“A lizard?” Bucky questioned it, even though he knew that was no good.
She perked up. “You never answered what I said outside or about Saturday! We keep avoiding it!”
“As long as you drive with the windows up Saturday.” Bucky said.
“Deal!” She would give him a thumbs up if her hands were not in her coat.
“I don’t agree with most of what you said. You do go overboard… and I have witnessed Sam bully you.” He paused.
“At least you’re honest!” She shuddered. “Fuck!”
He ignored her outburst as he was sort of used to it. “I don’t believe your feelings are always wrong either.” He told her.
“So, am I right?” She squinted.
He looked at her as though she were a special kind of stupid, which in his own opinion she was not. “Did I not just agree to go out with you on Saturday?” He watched her try to be warm.
“I have to confirm.” She slipped her hands back through her sleeves.
“You are right.” He said, giving her a slight smile. He almost felt awkward standing in front of her. He wasn’t sure what he should be doing with himself in her presence. He would invite her to sit down if she weren’t on her way to work.
“Awesome! This is great! Can you believe I’ve never actually done something like this before? I was going to change the whole plan and say something earlier, but I failed and used just used the time in between to work up the courage to do this. I have to go! I will see you Saturday! At… uh… well I didn’t think that far!” She gave him a quick hug. She wasn’t a hugger; she hasn’t been for a long time. Bucky has honestly never seen her hug anyone except for Tony a total of one time. She went to leave and walked straight into the door as she didn’t full the door open. “I meant to do that!”
“Just letting you know; you have to turn the door handle to open doors.” Bucky demonstrated in air, chuckling. He sure as hell wasn’t going to let her live this down.
She swung the door open. “Saturday! I’ll give you a time by tomorrow!”
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