#the orientation sucked I’m stressed out

[ivettel]

does the reception of the fest and the increased flow of creative output make you feel like you would want to stay? does it make you rethink what you call your imminent exit? just sad thinking that we will lose someone with your passion and drive and dedication 😞

ahh well unfortunately it’s not really by choice 😔 i start law school in a couple weeks and i’m kinda piloting blind, yknow? in a whole new city studying material in my second language and i don’t really know anyone or have many connections in the field… so i’m rlly gonna try and dedicate myself to Being A Good Student and Networking and Being Normal, which means my time for Being A Seb Stan will probably diminish to almost nothing ): already even just with the move i haven’t been able to sit and work on creative projects and i’m so emo over it, it’s probably unhealthy..

idk, i know people have been able to manage a school-work-social balance and i may be good enough to do that at some point? but ugh atm this is the biggest opportunity of my life and i really don’t want to fuck it up by prioritizing things that aren’t as important ahhh 😭

[bekmadethis]

Here’s a bunch of stuff in the MM Tales of the TMNT comic-con sneak-peek I thought about too much!

They’ve cared so much about showing how differently they each react to and process the same situation.

Through the scene Raph is excited to tear things up and true to every iteration ever tries things his way until it doesn’t work, Don’s flight response pings into analyst mode and you just know he’s figuring out how to break stuff, Mike is thriving in team-mode and keeping them all on track, and Leo flails around like a giant ball of chronic anxiety before figuring out a plan. They’re original formula with gently new toppings and I’m ready for this slice.

Raphael

This guy! We get so much. He’s rearing to do some fighting that isn’t sparring and be free to do some actual damage. So we know he’s bored fighting is brothers and wants a challenge. He can’t handle this one and in figuring that out is “open to suggestions” which is quite the overlooked Raph quality, he’ll listen he just has to work through that impulsive reactive streak first. He’s strong and knows it, and that robot gets a harder fight. The Raph highlight for me was taking time while fighting to honour the time-old tradition of making fun of Michelangelo. <Sobs in last ronin.>

Donatello

This kid, man! It’s a long standing opinion of mine that everyone should be more scared of Donatello. His interest in understanding the threat overrides most of his fear. Cerebral af. This is his face most of the time while a robot programmed to obliterate him is directly behind him. On the surface it looks like he’s running away a lot, but he can’t exactly press pause on it to figure out how they work. His gentle heart characterisation is well intact, apologising to the robot when he damages it having already personified the thing. I honestly believe he would take it home like he’d found a new pet if that were an option.

Michelangelo

What a show of Mikey magic. He’s got the comedy relief on a casual setting with subtle jokes and unintentionally antagonistic observation style. Mike has a tiny attention span but is 100% in every moment and they draw a lot of attention to his speed and agility. He shines doing what Mikey is known so well for; keeping the family together. It was awesome to see him effectively orienting his brothers into the situation, and see them listen to him so readily. He still calls to Leo for guidance when he feels out of control, but we might be in for a more surprising personal arc than ~nobody takes me seriously~ this time around.

Leonardo

This is a blessing for Leo fans because MM Tales Leo sucks /srs. Not in the way Raph fans say it on Instagram posts, in the way that his flaws are so disparate from other versions that a mastery arc is screaming his nervous muppet name. The giftedness is still sewn in; even flailing around he has more advanced weapon control, is observant enough to be the right level of stressed when a threat shows up, and jumps into strategy finding a vantage point to make a plan like a good little Leo, but instead of our usual Leo trauma ball we (at least for now) get to watch a Leo with the confidence of a processed cheese slice be terrible at things because he’s just some kid…

Pfffffffahahhhahhahba

The Mutant Mayhem kids are the most realistically green (and by that I mean inexperienced) we've ever seen them and it's continued into Tales. With detaching from source origin and establishing a much more grounded reflection of teen life in the current world, the growth arcs over Tales and the next MM movie have such immense unburdened potential that it really could lead anywhere and I don’t know what to expect.

(Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will air in August 9th 2024 on Paramount+)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I’m like 90% sure I’m a lesbian but I keep worrying what if I’m super secretly actually attracted to men I’m just like. Broken 💀

Honestly though

I don’t want to turn out to like men?

I mean

I wish I liked them because I haven’t gotten over the struggle of realizing I don’t (realizing I like women was relatively easy, realizing I don’t like men is harder) BUT

if I do like them I think that would honestly suck

because the way I feel about men in that context is a way I don’t think I should feel if I were attracted to them

like if I become really really deeply uncomfortable and disturbed when a man shows romantic interest in me and I’m honestly grossed out by a lot of their body parts…realizing I’m attracted to them would kinda suck and I feel like invalidate my lived experience??? because if I do like them then I have no explanation for those feelings (genuinely there isn’t a reason I can think of)

If it turns out I do like them then I have these really weird feelings about them that don’t make sense and no label for me

hi anon,

hey. come in. have a seat. let's take a deep breath, okay?

what I'm hearing right now is a tremendous amount of anxiety over a problem that, in the politest way possible, it sounds like you've kind of invented for yourself.

you also seem to be operating on the idea that being attracted to any man, ever, would somehow reflect poorly on you, which isn't true at all. a person's sense of sexuality and attraction says almost nothing about them, and it certainly doesn't invalidate any other part of their life or require an explanation.

even if you were to experience an attraction to a man someday, what's the actual worst case scenario? if that wasn't something you wanted to act on or otherwise make room for you in your life, you wouldn't have to. no one could make you have sex with him, or enter a relationship with him, or even admit that you were attracted to him in the first place. every single day, countless people of every gender and sexual orientation imaginable experience fleeting attractions that they'll never act on to people they'll never see again. it's profoundly not that seriously.

attraction is involuntary; there's nothing helpful to be done in stressing about something you might hypothetically feel someday about someone. but what you do with attraction is entirely up to you, so rest assured in the knowledge that if you ever do have a feeling about a man you can simply do nothing about it and continue having a perfectly lovely life.

also, hey, gentle reminder: there are no body parts some men have that some women don't also have, and not all men are working with the same parts, either.

[moonstruckme]

Oh babe I read your post about graduation and life after. I FEEL YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! I’m graduating Friday and I pursued a film degree in a city with little to no opportunities for that industry. Don’t know why I did that. Sorry to my parents who sacrificed a lot to put me through school. Moving to a bigger city is not an option bc I can’t afford it. Might be moving back in with my parents might not be. Everyone is asking whats next for me. Girl idk. I’m stressed I’m anxious. I hate it here. The real world sucks and I just want to skip over all this character building stuff and get to the part of my life where I’m happy with a career and can actually afford groceries. Sometimes I wish my dreams weren’t as big.

Hi gorgeous! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel that way. I promise your degree has value whether you feel like you can get a job out of it right away or not, and I won't pretend to know how your parents feel but I doubt they would have sacrified anything if they didn't feel your education was worthwhile. Graduating from college is a big deal nonetheless ! We both know I'm struggling with this too but I have some pieces of advice that have been given to me and I've found helpful if you want them <3

Obviously, "almost no one works in something related to their degree" is a really disheartening thing to hear, and I bet you've been hearing it (like I have) a lot lately. But what I think the people who say that are trying to convey is that there is no shame in just doing a job that makes some money (and preferably also makes you happy), and sometimes that financial security can help you pursue your dreams with a bit more surety since you're no longer trying to find a way to eat at the same time.

A few months ago, I talked to my mom about how guilty I feel about potentially not being able to get a job relevant to my degree after she helped put me through college, and while I know not all parents feel the same way about this, I think she made some great points. She said that college is about learning how to think, and your education and the experiences you've had in college will always be valuable no matter what job you end up with. And did you have a good time? Did you like learning all those things you did about film? Did you meet some cool friends, or get to talk about your interests with people who get it? If so, none of it was wasted.

It's so, so easy to feel pressure from others when you're trying to figure out your life post-grad, but in my experience most of that pressure is really internal. People ask what's next for you because they're interested, not becuase they have any one specific path in mind, and the vast majority of the time if you seem happy, they're happy. If you're not happy, fuck it! Then your priority should probably be getting to a place where you are happy, and those conversations really don't matter when you've got bigger fish to fry.

Last thing, but as someone also struggling to re-orient herself in her life plan, I've been taking a lot of time to figure out my priorities. I kind of got stuck in this idea of what my life was going to be, and once that seemed less certain I started questioning what I wanted if I didn't have to do that. I'm making a pinterest board (always my first course of action haha), and it's helped me figure out that whatever I do, I want to be around nature and books, and to live in a mid-size city. Figuring out what I need to be happy has really put things into perspective for me, and I'm sorry I don't mean to assume we're in the exact same mental state but I just want to give you all the stuff that's been working for me in case any of it fits into your situation too.

You can still use your passion in film while working another job, or use that job to save to move to a larger city, or maybe even reflect and find that you're content keeping the film thing as a hobby and there's something else you enjoy doing for a career (I know how heartbreaking that can sound when you love something, but that's how writing has turned out for me so I just wanted to put it out there--feel free to reject it of course). For me, trying to open my mind to all the possibilities and re-evaluate what I want from the next few years has been super scary but also kind of exciting, and I hope that whatever happens for you you're able to find happiness in the big and little things. Wishing you all the best my love!

[bg-brainrot]

To start, I’m a huge fan of your writing! Seriously, I’ve been reading your stuff since maybe October or November? I always look forward to updates, and I genuinely think your writing is of top-notch quality. Thank you for sharing your stories with us on the internet. ❤️

I saw your post saying you were in game development, and I wanted to ask what are some good ways to network and work with game studios? I’m actually an artist working in the animation industry now (this is an alt account to save posts for my brainrot lmao), but would love to transition into games sooner or later, just not sure how to find good info or leads? There’s only so many animation studios producing major work so it’s easier to scout info, but the world of games is daunting to say the least, even if I’ve been a gamer my whole life.

Any insight helps, but totally understand if you don’t have a straightforward answer to this question lol. You rock, and hope you’re having a good day!

Ahhh first off, thank you so much for reading my fic <33 You best believe I recognize your username when you like my posts and I appreciate it every single time. C: Second, thank you for asking a question!!! I am unreasonably excited to answer it!

To answer your question, I have a few tips, but I will say it will definitely depend on where you live what resources are available to you (it sucks, and it's honestly a huge downside to this industry :') ). Some tips below, sorted by, like availability ~

Networking from anywhere:

Join Discords! There are a ton for general game developers, a ton for people in specific fields, a ton for specific demographics within gaming, a ton for recruiting or for connecting with mentors-- and honestly, it can seem like a lot, there are a ton of people, a lot of them might already know each other, etc. but everyone is super friendly and super willing to help.

Join GameJams! I cannot stress this enough, but one of the biggest things that will help someone transition into games from another field is experience making games (I know it sounds counterintuitive, but bear with me haha)-- but making games, even if they're small games you make with a group over a weekend, shows directly applicable experience and looks great on a portfolio! GameJams are an easy way to find a group, set aside time, and make a game before you even join a studio. Bonus note: animators are *always* in high demand for those.

Reach out to people whose work you like directly! This is by far the most nerve-wrecking (to me at least), but reaching out to people, like cold-emailing, cold-LinkedIn messaging, is just such a good way to get to know people. As awkward as it is for you, people who like what they do will always be excited to answer questions and help set you on a path forward (like me! I receive messages myself and each time I get excited that someone even bothered to reach out tbh). If you're super lucky, you may even get a mentor out of it!

From in-person locations:

Join local indie dev meetups! I've done this in my area, and each and every time everyone is so willing to talk, to connect, and to give each other advice. The best part of these meetups is that they tend to be very informal, and you may even find teams looking to expand.

(Disclaimer, this one is expensive and genuine connections can be difficult given the sheer number of participants, but it's not impossible) Attend conventions/game dev events! Even at GDC, people from all types of industries attend to try to get their foot in the door, speak with recruiters, get portfolio advice, and learn a bit more about how the industry works. A quick word of warning for this one: be wary of the type of convention! For example, GDC is great for growth and connections, but attend something more press-oriented like PAX or more creator-oriented like TwitchCon and you may be disappointed at the lack of opportunities to just sit and talk. Smaller conventions can sometimes be more helpful to actually network as well.

Attend any local universities/incubator programs game showcases! Again, hyper-specific to this being in your area, but often people will take time to show off their game, host in-person game jams, and more-- usually you'll find these around major universities, major companies, and even places like video game museums. All great places to meet and get to know some mentors or even recruiters.

and some general tips for animation specifically that you probably already know as an animator in another field but are always worth mentioning:

Make sure that you know what type(s) of animation you want to get into (Technical animator, rig specialist, gameplay animator, etc.), which studios rely on which animation types (some studios have one generalist, some split up their animation pipeline very thoroughly, some have only 2D animators, some 3D, some a mixture of both), and which game engines they use-- the more programs you know, the better, of course. I've seen 2D animators spend many a personal hour learning 3D animation for the sake of getting on a game they want to work on, so the sooner you learn the better :')

Again I want to stress the gamejam, but if you don't want to talk to other people or it's difficult to find one, I would recommend at least trying to make your own small game. The reason being that, while animators in general are super highly sought after in the industry, the more you know about game development itself the more sought after you will be! A good animator is fantastic, an animator who knows why their animation breaks as soon as it's in engine is even better (and the best way to figure that kind of debugging is really from trying, failing, iterating!)

Beyond just reaching out to people, find animators you like in the industry and see if they're involved in any mentorship programs, are giving any talks, maybe already have some talks online (old GDC talks end up on YouTube sometimes), or even have guides on how they got their start in the industry. It's definitely not a clear cut journey for anyone into gaming, so there's no one-size-fits-all, but it can give you a gauge for how others in your position got there!

PHEW, I think that's it! I hope some of this is helpful, feel free to like, ask for clarification as I know I can ramble, and thank you again for asking! You rock and hope your day is excellent :D

[alicealder]

i. "cast iron skillet" - jason isbell and the 400 unit // ii. tonight i'm someone else: essays; the end of longing - chelsea hodson // iii. "rx (medicate)" - theory of a deadman

( gdocs version since tumblr beta is super annoying )

quick stats !

full name: alice audrey alder

date of birth: september 17th, 1966

zodiac big three: virgo sun, pisces moon, libra rising, leo venus

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: home of sexual

ethnicity: white

nationality: us american

religion: agnostic

languages spoken: english (5), spanish (4), latin (3)

enneagram: 2w3

mbti: enfj

temperament: phlegmatic

alignment: true neutral

refresher !

triggers: shitty parenting, the briefest implication of homophobia

Mom, Annabelle “Anne” Alder, kinda really sucks. I guess we’ll go with the version where she’s not a televangelist even though televangelism is super fun and was booming in the 1980s, I just think we know the other version better. Still a lil menty ill tho. 

But Alice’s daddy, Allen, and sister, Alice 1.0, died a week before she was born so you know <3 hard to blame her tbh <3

Still weird that she was like “okay if I can’t have Alice 1.0 I’ll have Alice 2.0”

Momma Alder was like “you’re gonsta be perfect just like ur dad!” and Alice was like “okay how” and momma was like “uhhhh get good grades, be successful, marry a rich guy, be hot” and Alice was like “okay bet”

Mamma Alder also married a rich guy, our bestie Brian, who was like… 20 years her senior. So she had an affair with the poolboy. But honestly that stuff wasn’t too important in the great grand scheme of things – Brian was, though!

Anyway, Alice totes got good grades and was hot! But a rich guy wasn’t in her cards :\ Maybe a rich girl though!

Is Lux rich?

Fell in love with childhood friend Lux Lewis in late 1981 and it lasted around a year.. So that’s basically late sophomore - junior on her end, late freshman - sophomore on Lux’s.

Gradually phased out as Lux got closer to another lesbian we know 🤨(only we don’t know it IC 😔). But Alice was still Lux’s little bitch for the time being.

Idk if the Wonderland dance happened in this timeline... In any case, Lux going bitch mode after the lesbian ‘rumor’ was pinned on Alice still happened! So did the fight between Alice and Anne, though that was a few more months in. So did it getting worse when Alice was like *coach ben vc* hear that, furry little friends?! I’m GAYYY. *end vc* So did Brian leaving to go to a five-star retirement home. 

Anyway, a slight change is that Brian paid the tuition, but Alice still went to live with Indigo… for the time being 🤨

update time !

triggers: drugs. so many drugs., some shitty parenting thrown in there considering brian’s involvement and (arguably!) indigo’s solution

Weed and alcohol weren’t entirely foreign – they were both present at basically all the parties thrown – but Alice had never partaken in them beyond a slight buzz. Up until, of course, the winter of 1983. Just to balance things out, right? Just to make the world seem a little chiller during the crux of her final year in high-school, right?

But all of the shit that came with it – related to Lux or not – eventually brought it to a null spot. And Brian (who didn’t think to ask anything about it), ever the caring father figure, offered what used to help him through his rough patches! A little pill!

As of right now, I’m basically just typing out the timeline I wrote down. So with nothing smooth to say, Alice found herself a regular Vicodin user by the Spring of 1984.

And, while all things preceding the date were stressful enough, that brings us to entering college! Yay! Brian’s started paying tuition and there was that huge blowout and she’s living with Indigo now, so on and so forth. Anyway, now that that’s been refreshed:

Fall of 1984… Maybe someone would point to Lux and the bullying. Maybe someone would point to Anne Alder, suddenly without child and husband. Maybe someone would point to the lack of a stable home. But the truth was that it was none of that, and it was all of that.

The first few months, Alice was doing her best to keep up. She was still keeping her grades way up, she was still working hard to maintain her friendships, she was still trying to keep up a semblance of a life – she would have been dubbed ‘functioning.’ But something… just broke. Seemingly out of nowhere, something cracked. 

*It happened slowly, then all at once. General stress – stress that seemed normal – snapped. There were voices and delusions and–

–Brian’s donations weren’t enough anymore. After searching, after a chance finding, Alice crossed the snow line… 

And it… worked. The stress had dissipated and life… it was so much better. As long as she rolled the snow up on the 8hr schedule it needed, life was beautiful! 

For a while.

When Winter rolled around, it was plain for Indigo to see that Alice was not just smoking doobage. In fact, she wasn’t just smoking anything anymore – not if the cotton ball and shoelace had anything to say about it! 

Thus, Indigo (real name: Angela), past groupie (who “Angie” by the Stones had clearly been written about) who had seen the dangerous outcomes firsthand, was… in essence, like, “Get your shit together!”

But if some missing money, pinpoint pupils, and a nod off that led to a close call with godsmack had anything to say about it… Alice was not, in fact, getting her shit together.

Indigo had never planned on being a mother, and though she was much more caring and empathetic than her sister, she wasn’t prepared for… how to deal with this (unless it was Eric Clapton who clearly got clean for her). At the end of the day, is anyone? Especially when the main source of said kid’s cost of living was coming from an indirect enabler? (See: Brian <3)

Not knowing what else to do if Alice wouldn’t agree to seek help, she made the hesitant decision to kick her out.

Lucky for Alice, there was one vacant house in Cherry where someone she knew had been able to claim squatter’s rights – that someone being Oliver (who, outside of alcohol and weed, could be considered a surprising straight-edge given what he’d seen his mom go through at the hands of SUD).

Yes, I’m connecting my two characters. Yes, I am using this cop-out. *Ariana Grande vc* And what about it?

When Spring rolled around, her role in ‘the gang’ was nearly non-existent, existing more as a ghost than a person. Which was about how life was going. Moving through it like a ghost, disconnected from the Earth, watching from a state of limbo, becoming a distant memory.

r/im14andthisisdeep

She still managed to get by in CCU, though not without strife and sliding grades. Speedballing helped, but even then, she was distracted. 

Oliver tried giving her the movie star speech… which didn’t work, but it was worth a shot!

Fall came and so did sophomore year’s tuition payment… some of which was pocketed and spent on things that should not have been important as they felt.

Outside of that, it was largely uneventful. Just repetition of how life had been for the past… year and a half? But it wasn’t as fun as it used to be. And most bridges had burned themselves (hell, save for Brian, every bridge with family had burned down). And there would never be anything fun again, would there be? She stays in the routine, it’s normal. She breaks it and tries to get sober? At best, it’s boring. At worst, it’s hell on Earth. And she would choose routine over that any day! If she’d already lost most everything she could lose, why bother? The only things she had left were school (and she would be on academic probation in Spring – if she were kicked out… who cared anymore?), an empty house (was there much of a difference between an empty house – that desperately needed repairs – with one guy and a street?), the few bridges she hadn’t burned (a lighter would come eventually), and a beating heart (did it matter anymore?). Burn it down.

That was the prevailing thought until one Ford Freese entered the picture in early December, an offer to pay for a 30-day inpatient stay over the CCU winter break.

…winter break totally isn’t for deus ex machina purposes!

In any other case, she would’ve declined the offer with enthusiasm – some of the only enthusiasm she still showed! But the one thing she hadn’t thought of? The one thing she hadn’t thought to add to her list of things that could be stripped from her? Her freedom. Aha, don’t arrest me! Aha, I’m too sexy to go to jail for 7+ years!

Let it be known that he never actually threatened arrest – or anything even close! – but you see a man with a badge…

She entered rehab on the first day of their winter break. The methadone helped with the detox, but not with the… worth. Nonetheless, she walked out of rehab two days after CCU had begun the Spring semester. 

A month later, she had ‘completed’ the outpatient program – during which she’d been doing her damndest to get off academic parole. Without any funding for something like a methadone clinic – or, I don’t know, a therapist? – it was her and her willpower! 

And, credit where credit is due, staying sober due to a sense of obligation? Of ‘you did this grand gesture for me, I can do this one thing for you’? Well, it was working! Enough to get her to NA!

But, even nearly eight months later, everything feels rather askew. She’s part of the gang again, not a ghost… but is she? She’s back to her role of ‘great student’... but is she? Lux has lost her influence… but has she?

Well… Hollywoo Stars and Celebs! What Do They Know? Do they Know Things? Let’s Find Out!

updated tl;dr !

Alice started doing drugs about eight months earlier than her Cherry 1.0/2.0 counterparts. 

She developed a tolerance to Vicodin and didn’t have the benefit of seeing Lux’s ghost because… Lux isn’t dead (or presumed dead), so she moved up the ladder of gateway drugs and, following a bit of a menty b in her freshman year of college, she started using smack.

Eventually got kicked out of Indigo’s house for understandable reasons and went to squat live with Oliver (deus ex machina!). 

Yanno. shit happens!

Was not successfully enticed to enter recovery until Ford Freese offered to pay for rehab (and, even then, it was just because “oh this guy has a badge I don’t want to go to jail im so sexy for that aha”). Got clean.

Has been sober for nearly eight months now… mainly out of obligation!

But my favorite form of character growth is character descent :elmosmile:

[funkymbtifiction]

ENFP…or ESTJ?

Hi Charity, As always, any help would be appreciated! When I first met my boyfriend, the two things that jumped out at me were Ne and Te. I feel like he’s either a weird ENFP, or a weird ESTJ; I can make arguments for both, but his type is unclear to me. I strongly believe he’s a core 6 with a 1 fix, which probably complicates things!

I can see why you are confused, because I’m confused just listening to you describe him... but he sounds more like an ENP type for reasons of being disorganized, scatterbrained, and lacking firm positions on anything. ETJs have dominant thinking, which means their default opinion is the facts and whatever is rational defines their thinking -- they are often NOT open-minded, compared to the ENP “whatever, tomorrow I will change my mind about this” natural flexibility (some might call it naive idealistic indecision).

I could argue ESTJ in a Te-Ne loop. He describes himself as cognitively self aware but not in touch with his feelings. He’s extremely efficient and probably the best contingency planner I’ve ever met. He’s great with conceptual details and doesn’t make careless errors. He’s extremely conscientious and very focused on financial security because he views the world as a precarious, unkind place and feels he must protect himself against possible disaster and deprivation.

This is somewhat convincing, but also just strongly self-pres 6. 6s are focused, detail-oriented, conscientious, don’t want to make mistakes (so they check their work carefully), worried about the world being a scary place, and self-defending. So how much of that would you attribute to ESTJ if he were not a 6? Is his life structured and planned and dominated by extroverted thinking / facts? Are they his default go-to reaction to life, problems, situations, relationships, or is Te something he falls back on and uses decently but can easily throw aside?

He likes to read philosophy and psychology, and says (I’m a philosophy grad student) that he always wishes he could find himself in the room I’m in (surrounded by abstract thinkers, discussing ideas) but instead, he’s often bogged down by the mundane.

This could be SJ or it could be inferior Si activated by 6 over-attachment to being safe by paying attention to details. The distinction would be -- is the “mundane” where he excels, or is it a place of intense stress and aggravation for him? Where he can’t decide what’s too much detail and what isn’t enough, so there is no middle ground and he massively over-prepares and checks every box?

He likes the idea of being the type of person deeply interested in pure mathematics, but he’s just not (his words).

This could be a vote against ETJ. Te tends to be good at such things, even if they don’t like it, because their brain easily internalizes facts and structures.

He says he lacks focus, his mind is always elsewhere, but often on security-oriented planning. He’s not a big daydreamer.

Lacking focus can be ENP, being absent and thinking in other directions can be Ne or 7 wing, security-planning is being trapped in sp6. (What is his job? Does it require him to do security planning or is this something he does naturally? As an sp6, I am very concerned with sp things but my inferior Si sucks at being prepared so I always assume it will turn out fine and wing everything.)

He can be rigid in certain ways (won’t eat super sugary things, won’t drink coffee after 2pm, aware of rules and follows them—not because he cares about rules but because he’s afraid of getting in trouble).

This is neurosis around sp (dominant function). Also, rings of a strong 1 fix.

But, I could argue ENFP because he lacks the firm decision-making I’d expect in an ESTJ. He’s never known what he’s wanted to do with his life—he constantly sees alternatives and plays with different ideas, but also finds a way to shoot them down (but then he comes up with other angles or ideas). He started off studying chemistry, then polisci, then went to economics, then to computer science. He’s undecided about most things—he doesn’t have firm positions on a lot of topics we discuss but instead asks a million questions, picking things apart and finding inconsistencies. He absolutely loves to question things and poke holes in previously cherished ideas.

Yeah, sounds like ENP to me, especially the “nothing is sacred” part. 6 + ENP can be semi-attached to certain traditional ideas or beliefs, but also careless about ripping everything else to shreds; intellectual objectivity is important, which means especially for a head type ENP, you attack everything. Sounds 6w7 as well, there’s a lot of distracted-ness happening with him. Grass is greener, this is boring, let me try this other thing, dunno what I want, but not this...

He’s not as drawn to super super abstract things as I am (he can entertain them for a bit but then he thinks, what’s the significance of this?) but I’ve always seen that as his just not being a Ti-user like I am. He still finds himself in the realm of ideas, it’s just more connected to humanity, psychology, literature, existential philosophy as opposed to modal logic or meta-metaphysics (my favorite; he likes the concept more than the actual topic).

This isn’t anti-ENFP by any means. 

His thought process in general he describes as very nonlinear, even though he appears organized. Often, solutions just click for him (he’s a computer scientist and excels at coding) instead of logically working through them step by step.

I don’t know what to do with this, since “clicking” can be anything.

I can’t make an argument for strong Si. <- rules out ESTJ

He’s often unaware of details that I’d notice instantly. <- inferior Si

He throws away nostalgic items and then regrets it. He’s very untidy and leaves things lying around, forgets where he put things, doesn’t notice when I’m wearing makeup or not sometimes other than “something is different”. A friend went bald almost overnight and he never noticed, even when the friend pointed it out. <- inferior Si

He’s extremely klutzy to the point where sometimes I have to check that his shoes are properly tied so he won’t trip. <- LOL, tho not type related

He says he spent all of undergrad lamenting his decision to go to a certain school, regretting, wondering how life would have been had he done otherwise. <- Ne/Si for sure (often a grip and/or the ENP not moving forward due to over-focusing on the past and philosophizing about what they lost, instead of being tangible and assertive in chasing a new future for themselves)

In general though, he loves traveling and is bored by sameness. He’d be fine constantly traveling, having no firm home base (as long as he was traveling in comfort). <- hmm, I wouldn’t ever want this, but he seems sp6 in every other regard. Super strong 7 wing, apparently.

He’s also very emotionally expressive despite being somehow also out of touch with his feelings or values (smiles and laughs a lot, makes jokes to try to connect with people). Often it’s not clear what he values until someone slights him. In a way, he’s much more sensitive than me, but it’s only once I’ve crossed a line. He can lack compassion for other people and he sometimes privileges his own emotional struggles while being dismissive of others (without realizing this is what he’s doing). <- consistent with Fi

I’d say ENFP is a good guess.

[loudstan]

Yes, I am in the Southern Hemisphere, I am from the upper east coast of Australia (not near the point, but a bit down, closer to the middle than Sydney). And I am just starting up at orientation week. I had to go today to meet my professors, student advisor, get free food, and other freebies (y’know, free shitty quality pens are a must, free law society hoodies even though it’s summer, $2 lunch tickets (which I get double of because, 2 campuses) for the (overpriced) food court valid for first week of classes, I won free AirPods in a raffle, free drinks at the student bar (went to happy hour with people I met), and FREE FOOD). Need I say more about welcome week? I love it.

My Uni actually has two campuses, and one is in more of a regional suburb, and I study at both. Good thing is, is that my orientation tomorrow is at the secondary suburban campus (for my psychology component of my course, but i am thinking of changing over to creative writing if I dislike psychology), that is way bigger, so MORE FREE STUFF! You have no idea how quick my pay check goes these days :( and I know it’s because I have to re-apply for student concessions on my transport card, and still persist on going out with friends, even though i am broke. My coffee on campus was nearly $6… I just about cried, but you know what? It’s fine. Australian coffee is top tier, and Starbucks (by my standards) doesn’t cut it because it’s $13 (and mostly just ice, and very weak coffee) for the same drink I could get at an indie cafe for $7.50 (which is still steep, but managable).

Anywho, what do you study at Uni? Currently I am doing Law and Pyschology, but I kinda want to change to the fine arts creative writing course instead because I’m more interested in it. However, it’s just a whole… stress. So, if I dislike Pyschology that much then I’ll change over but for now I’ll stick with it. I’m not locked in, which is good. When I got in back in December after getting scores for my senior year, I wanted to do law at a different uni in the UK but I didn’t get in. So instead I made a snap decision to apply to the Laws and Psych course at my current uni, before I learned about the Laws and Creative writing course (which I only learnt about the day after I’d gotten and accepted my offer).

Also, since you’re going back from winter break does that mean you are in the northern hemisphere, like Canada, UK, Europe, and Asia? If so, where are you from? I’d love to know. Anyway! I hope you’re looking forward to going back.

– 🧚‍♀️

I’m glad you got tons of free food and met new people! And I know life as a broke student sucks 😭 I hope you can still hang our with friends without spending much and that your classes are fun!

To be honest, I don’t feel comfortable sharing what I’m studying or where I’m from yet, but I am currently in South Korea and I am actually exciting to go back to class!

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

Okay I put on my logical thinking hat 🎩

I looked on indeed job postings and basically everything I’m interested in requires a masters degree. This isn’t a surprise. I don’t know what I thought would be different.

I have a few options. None of which i like, but that’s life

1) continue the same as I’m doing. Working my truancy job with kids/parents and going to school full time

Pros: I already know the job, my boss is amazing, I’m mildly adjusted, I know I can do grad school work with it, opens more doors in 14 months for jobs I like

Cons: long commute makes me lose about 2 hours a day but I don’t want to cut off the commute because if I ever get into an accident off the clock, that would suck as far as legalities go, working with kids/parents, being “the bad guy,” not utilizing the skills I went to school for, not utilizing really any skills, pretty burnt out after work for being under stimulated mentally but overstimulated from paperwork, tough to do grad work after work, not much time to do things for myself (cleaning, eating, seeeing friends, journaling … really I should be doing school work right now), mental health suffers

2) get a new job, put a hold on grad school

Pros: no longer working with parents/kids, no more school stress for now, more time to enjoy life, feeling more passionate about work

Cons: it’s unknown, pushes back the timeline on what I really want to do career wise, could be worse than my job now, maybe less pay, maybe not a good job for grad school when I go back, May end up not even going back to school

3) get a new job and continue grad school

Pros: same as above (except for the school thing), reach my career goal faster

Cons: don’t do well with transitions and could create more chaos with school, May be more or equally exhausted while trying to do grad school

4) stay with my current job, put a hold on grad school, attempt to start life coaching

Pros: stability while I try to start up a business, more passionate about life coaching, don’t need a degree to do what I really want to do, if I thrive in it I could quit my job, potentially wouldn’t need grad school

Cons: pushes back timeline on what I want to do if life coaching doesn’t work out, starting up a business is stressful, will likely be putting in a lot of hours creating a program and promoting it, unstable income if I leave my Job for life coaching , doesn’t take much to become financially in the hole

My perfect job would include:

working in the mental health field, specifically those with ADHD, anxiety, borderline, depression who are goal oriented.

Some kind of career coaching and budget/finance coaching (but not a financial advisor) and social skill building

Age 18+ clients

——

When I did case management (which is so hard to find here?!) , my favorite clients were those who were goal oriented and open to me pushing them to do things they were hesitant about.

I helped clients who were 100% dependent on our program for transportation learn to use medical transport and public transportation. They didn’t have to schedule around someone else anymore to do what they wanted to do.

I helped clients make and maintain budgets. I helped clients save up for “wants” instead of only being able to buy “needs”

I helped clients build social skills to decrease their social anxiety

I helped clients build resumes, find jobs, maintain jobs

I helped clients find acceptance of their medications and diagnoses instead of fighting against themselves in treatment

I feel like I served a purpose. But I didn’t like helping them find housing, getting yelled at by my harder clients, going into unsafe areas alone, working with clients who didn’t want help, feeling trapped and uncomfortable in client homes with verbally aggressive clients, approving when clients could take money out of their accounts, taking clients to doctor appointments, working with clients who used substances, etc.

Case management is hard work and some days I didn’t have the energy for my goal oriented clients. I know there’s a need for the things I like to do. It’s just that those jobs come with the other things I don’t like. And they pay poorly. Not enough that I could continue maintaining this apartment. We’d have to move and I don’t know where to. I couldn’t afford to live on my own at that job, not even with the second income of my ex.

—-

All I know is I’m not happy where I am right now. But all signs, when I really break it down, point to option 1. And I hate that.

[moonpascal]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

pairing: singledad!remus lupin x teacherfem!reader

summary: it’s orientation night wc: 1.3k

warnings: fluff, reader goes by “miss lovey” from previous students, paragraphs look bulkier than i remember

a/n: this was originally gonna be written first but “lessons in humility” took the reins so this sat in my drafts for awhile, debating if i should post or not. but i wrote more to it and edited. i also suck at endings sorry! if you enjoyed like, comment, reblog 🤎

Gathering up all the papers for tonight’s orientation never seems to get easier, despite being a teacher for at least three years. There are always new rules added or extra lessons someone comes up with. It would be so much easier to use the older packets if things weren’t constantly changing.

You also use your own money to buy each kid a folder with their name on it, to help out the parents and yourself. Each one has their name with some stickers inside if they decide to decorate, and then labels on each side for their ‘take home’ and ‘return back’ papers. It helps ease some of your stress knowing it's complete and not relying on parents to get it done.

You place each folder on the designated desk for each student so once the parents come, it will be easier for them to find their seats. The only problem is that you have a set of twins for the first time, which, in hindsight, isn’t a big deal, but the seating arrangement had to change from alphabetical by first name to alphabetical by last name.

Once everything is set up and perfect in your head, it’s a quarter till parents start showing up. No matter how long you’ve been a teacher, orientation night is always the most nerve-wracking. Meeting the students is a breeze, but the parents? A room filled with give or take 40 parents—if both decide to show up—is an anxiety-filled ordeal. Especially since some parents like to act as if their kid is better than the others and give you “tips” on how to be a good teacher.

“I’m so sorry I’m late! I promised I would help, but then my boyfriend and I got into it, and I’m just sorry,” your teacher assistant Emerson says, in and out of breath. While it would’ve been nice to have the extra hand, you don’t blame her. It wasn’t too much work to organize.

“Don’t worry about it,” you reply, waving off her apology with a smile. “I’m just relieved you’re here now. Facing a room full of parents alone isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.”

She visibly relaxes and starts putting her things down at her desk, pulling out her notebook and pens. Of all the TAs you’ve met, you lucked out with Emerson. She loves the kids, doesn’t treat them like burdens, and helps in any way she can.

“Welcome, parents! I’m so glad that you could make it tonight!” A chorus of tight smiles and unenthusiastic hums followed, fantastic off to a great start already, but that doesn’t discourage you. Not at least with the gorgeous, sweater-clad man giving you a genuine grin that could have you melt on the spot, but you shake away those thoughts, that’s a students parent. Unprofessional in all the ways.

Quickly shifting your attention back to the rest of the group, you gesture to your own packet. “On the desks, there is a folder containing everything that we’ll be learning over the course of the year, along with some things that need to be signed and returned as soon as possible.”

You glance around as some parents nod along while you continue going through the specifics: allergy lists, planned school year trips, books the class will be reading, and the lesson curriculums.

A few parents lift their hands as they scan each page, and you know it’s going to be something already in the packet if they just actually read it.

“What’s your homework policy? Because my Nicole has a lot of extra electives not associated with the school, she doesn’t need homework on top of it,” one parent asks, ignoring the others and blurting out her question as if she were the main priority.

“Great question. On page four, I noted that I don’t give out homework. If they have homework, it’s from an assignment they didn’t finish in class or if they asked for extra credit.” Internally, you roll your eyes and plaster a fake smile on your face. A few other hands are put down, and you want to smack your head on the podium.

After a few excruciatingly obvious questions and barely getting through half of the packet, you decide it’s time to wrap it up. They’re adults; if they have questions, your email is attached to the folder—if they can find it. As if they were here out of obligation, most jump at the chance to leave, hastily grabbing their coats and booking it out the door.

As the room emptied, you let out a deep sigh of relief, your nerves finally starting to settle. Emerson walked over, her sympathetic smile easing your tension a little.

“That wasn’t too bad, right?” she offered, though the fatigue in her voice mirrored your own.

“No, not too bad,” you agreed, starting to gather the leftover materials. “It’s just the same every year. Parents seem to forget that teachers have rules to follow too.”

Emerson nodded, helping to stack the remaining folders. “At least Mr. Sweater Man seemed interested,” she teased, winking at you.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “He’s probably just a dedicated dad,” you replied, though a small part of you couldn’t help but wonder. He was the only parent who asked legitimate questions and paid attention, never once looking bored or annoyed. It definitely helped you get through the night.

With the parents gone and the classroom quiet, you and Emerson finished tidying up. Just as you were locking the classroom door, you heard a voice behind you.

“Excuse me, Miss Lovey,” the voice called out. Turning around, you saw the sweater-clad man standing there, looking slightly sheepish. “I’m sorry to bother you, I know it’s late, but I forgot Luna’s folder on my way out.”

“Oh, right! I managed to grab that,” you said, shuffling through your full hands, careful not to drop everything. “Here we are, one Luna Lupin!” you smiled, trying to remain calm as he flashed a smile that made you pause.

“Thank you so much, and thank you for all the effort you put into this. It means a lot,” Remus said, his voice carrying a sincerity that caught you off guard.

You paused, momentarily taken aback by his genuine gratitude. “Thank you,” you replied, a real smile breaking through your practiced teacher’s mask. “It’s always nice to hear when the effort is appreciated.”

There was a brief, almost comfortable silence as Remus seemed to consider his next words. He then extended his hand, a shy yet warm gesture. “I’m Remus Lupin, by the way, in case it wasn’t obvious.”

You took his hand, noticing the gentle firmness of his grip, and met his gaze, which held a mix of kindness and something else—an understanding, perhaps, of the challenges you face. “Nice to meet you, Remus. I’m looking forward to having Luna and Theodore in class,” you said, your voice more confident than you felt.

His eyes brightened at the mention of his children. “Likewise,” he responded, his tone soft but filled with quiet pride. “And if you ever need any help or have any concerns about the twins, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I know they can be a handful sometimes.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks,” you said, feeling a warm sense of relief. It wasn’t often that parents offered their support so readily. As he turned to leave, you found yourself watching him for a moment longer than necessary, a small, hopeful smile lingering on your lips.

Emerson sidled up next to you, having watched the interaction with keen interest, breaks you out of your daze. “See? Not all parents are bad,” she said, her tone teasing but affectionate as she nudged you playfully.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you admitted, feeling a bit more at ease.

With the classroom finally ready and the orientation over, you and Emerson headed out, looking forward to the start of a new school year. Despite the challenges, moments like these reminded you why you loved teaching—and maybe, just maybe, this year would be the best one yet.

© moonpascal 2024

[sewers-headmates]

...new form brian holden factive?

this is my first try on this new form so it may change/be edited as we go! also this one may kinda suck i wanna work on doing more factives but their so hard! /lh

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Info

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Name: Brian

Alt Names: Michael, David, John, Christopher, James, Alex, Jamie, Lynn

Last Name: Holden

Age: age slider, 25-39

Pronouns: he/him

Height: 5’8

Zodiac: virgo

Species: human

—————————————————————————————————————

Labels

—————————————————————————————————————

Gender: cis male

Sexual Orientation: bisexual

Romantic Orientation: biromantic

Mono, Ambi, Poly: ambi

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System Info

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Roles: mood booster

Source: starkid, actor

Notable Source Memories/Details: generally source memories are /pos and working on shows ^^

Possible Front Triggers: starkid shows, writing, cafes, coffee

Sign Offs: —✒️🗒️, -✏️🎭

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Personality

—————————————————————————————————————

Summery: Brian is a very social and friendly alter whose main focus is making others ok, uplifting them, and calming in times of stress. He can make connections to others well and be a good ‘middle man’ for conflicts. Maybe unwisely he also works well with littles and syskids and coukd function as a caretaker if he wants to. Overall he’s a very friendly, kind, and social alter.

Likes: writing, art, musicals, kids, source, astrology, DIY projects, dogs

Dislikes: quiet, thunder, mornings, people coming up and touching him, yoga

Hobbies: writing, acting, musicals, theater in general, movies

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Fun Extras

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Typing Quirk: none

Opinion Stances: honestly he doesn’t have many opinions his stances can generally be summed up into; pro-consent and people can do what they don’t idc

Kinlist: did i cheat with this and give him his roles yes. also feel free to make any of these transCharacter

Zack - Little White Lie

Flopsy - Me And My Dick

Remus Lupin - Harry Potter/A Very Potter Sequel/A Very Potter Senior Year

Junior - Starship

Veeto Mosquito - Starship

Owlkin

Appearance:

Aesthetic: to sum it up basically tired theater student aesthetic

i hope you enjoy him! this new form is a bit hard but i love how it turned out! please feel free to give me feedback on the form! also thank you sunlight for letting you be my test dummy! part of me want it to be longer but i’m out of categories haha /lh

-mod richie

[ylkcheeeks]

first off hell yeah physically in bed before 2 am

Got some real loud caveats of how much better I’d prefer to be but by god it’s been weeks since I’ve seen 1:30 from a reclined orientation

I did three things today. I still have more than 3 dozen things to somehow do in two weeks and this weekend is preemptively blown for homework

But I’m trying not to panic

It is very hard

My spouse believes in me- keeps reminding me (helpfully?) that I have done this before that it’s like this every time and I pull it off but I keep wanting to point out that I don’t always actually. Sometimes I fuck up immensely and there’s no batting my boyish lashes out of it.

The goal:

The reality:

It’s just not giving, as the youts say.

I never really thought I would live to be like, an adult adult and I didn’t enjoy my youth as much as I overall enjoy myself now- even with all the stress and the pain and the other stuff this particular set of months has so generously given me. Truly I could not bear further gifts. So I don’t have like a big attachment to youth or like, worry about looking older- I’ve been lowkey looking forward to greying since I was a teen. But it is weird for me to no longer be a “young” person. Like, you’re a child and then from teen through late twenties that’s this Young Person time, and there is nuance in there but now I’m on the other side of that. Age wise and, given my current life circumstances, development wise, I’m not an emerging adult or young adult anymore. Unvarnished adult. Not old enough to have a fine patina or rival Pappy, just old enough to not be young. It’s weird.

The pain too, reckoning with being “🤷disabled I guess” now. I’m thinking I should start keeping a more specific inventory of what hurts and how and when, because I need my doctors to take this seriously. I don’t want to be in my body- I’ve learned to muddle through with a lot of pain but I am more and more living at a limit where if I have external structure I can just about drag myself through the day, but I am expending so much energy just on not experiencing the pain undiluted that I cannot spare enough brain to rip start the motor.

And well, even if I could… it’s hard to go to bed when I know I could push through and do some late night creative noodling. I’ve done it many a time and it is often some of my best work. I get As on my last minute projects and learn nothing. I mean obviously I learned the subject but as in my eternal frustration with myself. I don’t want to be this way, I don’t want this to be who I turn back into when things are hard because I don’t like the stress, I hate how vulnerable I wind up being, I don’t feel safe, and it is not good for me.

Not just mentally and psycho emotionally but physically- I can’t afford those levels of exhaustion like I once could. I already have a perma debuff and it sucks and I hope to fuck that my last pain free day isn’t behind me but I overall cannot rely on my body anymore to begin from a normal baseline on an average day.

Okay we’ve got something real bad like inside the shoulder joint, possibly a nerve thing? But it also feels loosey goosey, keeps crackling like it’s gonna fall into place when I roll it but it is endless. The pain is inside the body in two ways there, which are connected. All of them are connected of course. But this on is in the shoulder joint, a thread entering from the lower rear and fit between the knobby round ends of my bones. There’s also, among the scapula and all that, a bright yellow broad rhombus of pain. It’s knitting the muscles but again that strong feeling that something is wrong inside my body. Knex and Lego forced together or something. The other shoulder and not sides of the neck are tight ina more traditional manner. Noisy neck as well. One elbow sharp shooting pain- also right side. Base of skull larding into headache. Right shoulder thought interrupting my bad but base of skull almost the same level when I address it directly with even a gentle head tilt stretch. Pinky pain from holding phone hahaha. This gassy thing, belching air when the pain is bad, and the accompanying chest tightness if I try to hold it in. Feels like something in my sternum, maybe diaphragm is responding to the pain by releasing air. Knees of course achey from how I sit and cold feet cis it’s winter. The middle part, that whole mess concerns me.

Idk I can even list it all my headache is of course getting worse.

I dunno which chaos fivinity would have me but if you could ever so kindly remove these particular weights from my ankles I’d be much obliged.

[creamcheesy]

I am so insanely stressed about the trajectory of my life right now. It’s sucks because when I get stressed about my life I start waking up in the middle of the night, which both gives me more time in the middle of the night to stress out, and also it fucks up my sleep so I’m less prepared to tackle my problems in the morning. It really sucks and feels like my body and mind hate me. Lying here, I just can’t help feeling like I somehow fucked the trajectory of my life up. Everyone on LinkedIn I’m trying to network with has such a clear trajectory to all their work, and I feel like I fucked up by not getting relevant internships in college or something and just getting a job as a waitress right out of school and doing whatever random customer service work that wasn’t “career” oriented. Now it feels like I’m trying to get back into the “career” branch of life and I’m locked out of it somehow because I left it. It’s really frustrating. And last time I was unemployed I at least got an interview or two. This round, I’ve heard absolutely nothing.

[parkerlucked]

INTRO // BIO // HEADCANONS

« charlie rowe, 24, he/him, the amazing spider-man films/616 » ∙∙ loading case file for peter parker. known aliases, if any: spider-man. current location: new york, new york.  current occupation: freelance photographer. he has been known to be brilliant and reckless, so proceed with caution. their current alliance: undecided. (claire, she/her, 25, gmt)

SHORT BIO

orphaned young and raised by his aunt may & uncle ben in queens, peter parker was never popular. he was a genius, and shy, and a bit of an asshole, focused on keeping his head down and just getting out. and then at fifteen, he was bitten by a radioactive spider, and everything changed. with newfound powers, he could have stopped a robber from killing his uncle ben, but he didn’t, and he resolved to never let anyone get hurt on his watch ever again, no matter what it took. he became spider-man, a hero, a vigilante, a man cut in two--amazing in the mask, an absolute train wreck out of it. when gwen stacy, his first love, died because of him, he doubled down. after a long road of stops and starts, he finally finished college, took a pause from grad school, and is now back at the daily bugle working as a freelance photographer. it barely pays the bills, he’s exhausted all the time (what else is new), he’s kind of bad at it, and it’s soul-sucking, but he’s got a double life to maintain.

BASICS

character’s full name: peter benjamin parker

nicknames: pete, spidey, tiger; will answer to petey, but doesn’t like it

meaning of name: rock

birth date: october 14, 1998

age: 24

zodiac: libra

superpower: spider physiology: enhanced speed, strength, skill, reflexes, agility; accelerated healing factor; can stick to walls (don’t worry about it); danger precognition

alias: spider-man

nationality / species: american / human mutate

languages spoken: english, a little spanish, basic mandarin, some yiddish

orientation: bisexual?

pronouns: he/him

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

height: 5'10

body build: athletic

eye color: hazely brown

hair type and color: brown (a little reddish in the right lights, slightly curly, badly in need of a haircut)

glasses or contacts: glasses (until he was 15 and his powers fixed his vision)

face claim: jack quaid

distinguishing marks:  his web shooters, which he’s modified to look something like a watch or a fitbit and can wear with his everyday clothes. a smattering of freckles. (there’s a lot of fanart of him with a very specific freckle pattern and i think it’s cute i’m keeping it). surprisingly very buff under all that flannel.

tattoos: none

voice / accent: american; a bit raspy, a bit of an old-school new york accent (comes out stronger when he’s stressed or in the suit; he’s genuinely not sure if this is subconscious or a disguise choice) – i use yuri lowenthal in the games as a voice claim <3

clothing style: lol. baggy sweatshirts, worn-in flannels, graphic t-shirts, battered converse. sometimes inexplicably a lot of black turtlenecks. right at that intersection between respectably disheveled nerd and skater boy grunge. he wears his suit underneath his everyday clothes most of the time. usual expression: intense concentration; confused; a little angry and stand-offish

PERSONALITY

good personality traits: loyal, brilliant, just, passionate

bad personality traits: stubborn, egotistical, guilt-ridden, insecure, anxious, flaky

personality type: infp

archetype: the caregiver

goals/desires: help people. find peace. do some neat science. have a life.

fears: people he loves getting hurt. bad things happening because he didn’t stop them. bad things happening because he caused them. dying young.

what would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil: someone he loves getting hurt because of him (see: may dying if she finds out his identity? who knows! anything’s possible!)

character’s soft spot: children, i guess

hobbies: ~ science ~ ; video games ; skateboarding ; photography ; some light web design ;)

habits: u know that thing of just being really fidgety all the time & drumming your fingers on every available surface & jittering your leg up and down? yeah that

PAST

hometown: forest hills, queens, new york, usa

childhood: pete’s mother, mary, died when he was young, and he was raised by his uncle ben and aunt may (he never knew his father). he got his powers at 15; ben died when he was 15; the two things are related; it’s a sore spot. it’s been him and may since. (and, apparently, his father, tony stark, trying to get in the picture)

dream job: fully-funded scientist/researcher (maybe a professor? maybe working at/running his own tech company? maybe winning some awards? who knows!)

education: graduated midtown high at the top of his class; ba & biochemical engineering from empire state university; started a phd, but intermitted.

FAMILY

mother: mary fitzpatrick parker (deceased)

father: richard parker (deceased)

relationship: mary & richard died before peter was old enough to really remember them--were they scientists? spies? all he knows for sure is that he was loved.

uncle: ben parker (deceased)

relationship: pete considers ben his real father/figure. the man raised him, despite never wanting children of his own. they were very very close, even if ben could get a bit gruff and standoffish and didn’t entirely understand his booksmart genius little nephew (and pete could get angry and hole himself up in his room with books for days at a time). peter can’t forgive himself for letting ben die. everything he does is in his memory.

aunt: may parker

relationship: pete considers may his mother; they’re extremely close, and he tries to have dinner with her at least once a week, if he remembers. or makes time. he’s very protective of her, and she’s very protective of him, and they support each other in everything–it’s just the two of them, it has to be.

PRESENT

current location: manhattan, new york

currently living with: n/a (pete lives in a tiny shoebox studio apartment by himself and with a rotating number of good old fashioned new york city roaches and rats. it’s a mess.)

pets: n/a

occupation: science teacher at midtown high

religion: jewish, somewhere in the mostly secular reform/reconstructionist vein (had a bar mitzvah, celebrates the major holidays, not much else)

political affiliation: peter parker voted for bernie sanders change my mind (democrat, views voting as a flawed by necessary responsibility bc he unfortunately cannot punch his way into systemic change) (spider-man has been anti-cop, pro-prison abolition, pro-union, and pretty active with civil rights movements since the late 1960s we’re proud of him)

HEALTH

physical ailments: genetically mutated spider dna? bad back? one time he gave himself a stress ulcer love that for him; weirdly predisposed to colds

neurological conditions: all undiagnosed bc this bitch won’t see a therapist but! anxiety, depression, ptsd, likely adhd

allergies: none that he knows of

sleeping habits: hahahahahahahaha

eating habits: his metabolism is absurdly fast, his exercise regimen out of control, and his wallet can’t keep up. he doesn’t have the time, resources, energy, or skills to cook for himself often (though he can do an ok stir fry), so he mostly gets by on inexpensive takeout and frozen meals. he’s particularly fond of pizza and thai food

exercise habits: mostly just patrol/spider-man duties/swinging around the city with nothing but his upper body and core strength; he’ll sometimes work out to stay in shape and burn energy

emotional stability: no.

sociability: he has friends, but he’s always considered himself a loner. he’s better at making plans than keeping them, and has an advanced degree in self-sabotaging his relationships. he’s good for a movie night (if he bothers to show up or doesn’t jump out the window halfway through), but if he starts to feel threatened, the walls go up, and the bridges get burned

body temperature: slightly warmer than average

addictions: arguably, being spider-man

drug use: not really?

alcohol use: nothing extensive; a little socially, but very rarely, and particularly won’t drink around harry. needs to stay alert to be spidey at a moment’s notice. he’s been known to literally order milk at a bar. i hate him.

FAVORITES:

weather: the way i’m tempted to say broody and rainy. no. like a nice crisp autumn day with a little bit of a breeze and a nice amount of sun and pretty leaves

color: red

music: alt- and indie-rock, mostly; he also listened to a lot of 70s and 80s music with ben and still enjoys it

movies: schlocky sci-fi and fantasy (he’s big fan of zombieland, star wars, and lotr)

sport: baseball

beverage: cheap black burnt coffee

food: aunt may’s wheat cakes <3 and a good bagel with schmear

animal: he is…. not actually….. really much of an animal person….. but he will cross the street to pet a good dog and enjoys other people’s cats

EXTRA

what’s in his edc (everyday carry): inside the same battered and lovingly patched-up navy jansport he’s had since his senior year of college: headphones (tangled), cell phone (broken), laptop (cracked), chargers, pack of gum (half-empty), clif bar, spare web cartridges, lab notebook, cheap ball point pen, old pencils, wallet (empty), metrocard, change of clothes, water bottle (half-empty, crumpled, disposable, lukewarm), house keys & carabiner

mbti: infp

enneagram: type 5, the investigator

temperament: melancholic

moral alignment: neutral good

element: air

[annarts05]

You don’t have to think “creative.” Think “smarter.”

I’m a really analytical person. I’m organized. I’m detail-oriented. I like solid ideas, facts that can be relied on with years of research. I like to learn by doing it with my own hands. I like to research and be as prepared as possible before I do something new.

Creativity...takes a back seat. 

I suck at being creative. Original ideas and new ideas? Pfft. No. Which makes my job as a writer a whole lot harder haha. I would be lying if I said that I’m not jealous of writers with such good ideas. The WIPs I’ve seen over the last couple days alone...

So maybe you’re like me. And it’s hard to “be more creative.” How do you make yourself be more creative anyway??? I don’t get it. 

Maybe we just have to be smarter. Don’t stress about being more creative if it isn’t your thing. It’s not your strong suit? So what? Stop stressing. Let’s try to be smarter about the way we build our stories. 

Take old tropes. Make them new, not by necessarily being original, but by combining already-existing ideas to make something new. We don’t need to create something totally new, but we can take old stuff and make it ours by choosing the right things to combine. You can use cliches, too, don’t worry. They’re totally fine, and don’t listen to anyone who says you shouldn’t use X trope if that’s what you want to write.

Research. Understanding what makes a good story helps a lot when it comes to making a story that you’re happy with. Research story structure and character arcs. 

Brain dump. Take all your ideas. The solid ones. The sorta-messy ones. The confusing ones. Try to sort them out like a puzzle. Make them as figureoutable as possible. Try to clean them up as much as you can. 

Accept that you don’t have to be super creative to write something. You can build your story brick by brick of solid ideas that are maybe only a little new, or perhaps not very new at all, and still make a good story. 

[my-mt-heart]

There is a lot of conversation about Norman Reedus and the Daryl show happening exclusively within my inbox and I want to take a beat to explain why I haven’t posted any of it. Yes, I am not, have ever been, nor ever will be okay with spreading hate about cast and crew who put their blood, sweat, and tears into delivering something for us to enjoy. Some of you are going to call me a bad feminist or accuse me of not holding men accountable for their actions/behavior and I can’t stop you. Your feelings are yours to have wherever they stem from. If I may be so bold to suggest, some people might be stuck on those initial rumors that came out which I said then and maintain now don’t accurately reflect how the industry works. Others might be disappointed in Norman’s lack of sentiment during his interview and activity on Twitter. Again, feel how you want to feel. My feeling? My wholehearted belief is that directing it at an individual man doesn’t address the issue. 

To make it abundantly clear, I am also not accusing AMC of being a misogynist entity that consciously screws over and muzzles women. But I am upset that an emotionally-driven show spearheaded by a highly talented woman of color and starring a female icon was turned into what I suspect is a more “thrilling” mission-oriented project that neither woman could/felt they could be a part of and now cannot talk about. I am frustrated that I was strung along to believe I was getting the show of my dreams (because they flat out told me I was) when in fact the concept Angela Kang, Norman, and Melissa originally envisioned, the one that honors both Daryl’s and Carol’s emotional journeys, had changed a long time ago in favor of a plot that will effectively secure a largely male audience. And attaching a male showrunner is only going to make it even more male-driven. So yes, as a Caryl fan, as a female fan, and as a fan of story integrity, I am voicing my dissatisfaction which has nothing to do with Norman’s, Melissa’s, or Angela’s choices for themselves. I don’t expect it because our “selfish” noise conveniently takes the heat off the network, but I wish it could be acknowledged that “hey, you’ve been waiting a long time for a show you were never going to get and I understand why that hurts, but thank you for caring so much about the characters/relationship we also care about.”  

In all fairness to Norman, the lack of support being shown for the new spinoff sucks from his perspective and probably comes across as if we only value Daryl as half a ship. Not that I think he’d ever read this, but I want to still stress that is not the case at all, at least not for me. As a “loner” myself who’s struggled to belong, I relate to Daryl a lot and I’ve enjoyed every part of his story so far. My problem, my fear I should say, is that another long heroic mission by himself feels like backpedaling on an emotional level. We’ve seen the psychological torment that’s caused, we’ve seen the darkness that’s cast over him, and I don’t want to see it anymore. Especially not after all the effort from Kang (and narratively from Carol) to help him overcome it. Carol has similarly struggled with feelings of isolation, most recently from her best friend, which is why (to the anon that asked), I’d have just as hard a time watching a solo Carol spinoff. 

Kang has asserted that while Daryl and Carol are survivors on their own, they are better together. They’ve always been an integral part of each other’s stories and an integral part of each other’s happiness, and losing that element is just unsettling. It undermines everything we’ve seen Kang build up to. I’m fully aware business reasons can impact a story, but that doesn’t always mean I can give it the benefit of the doubt. I would love it if all my concerns turned out to be unfounded, that somehow it’ll still work emotionally. Right now, I just don’t feel assured and I don’t want to be strung along more than I already have been. For what it’s worth, it also would’ve taken me a while to come to terms with the concept of Daryl and Carol embarking on a mission together in France as opposed to the road show. 

Some of you may have picked up on the fact that I have been very distraught the last couple of days. Listen. When I first created my blog, I only ever wanted a place to share my thoughts about my favorite show and my favorite characters. I didn’t expect to develop this deeply personal relationship with them, but somehow I did, and as if it isn’t bad enough to think my viewing experience was a lie, seeing all these signs of resentment toward Carylers and Caryl just utterly devastates me. It’s as if I’m being rejected by the show I love. 

The industry thrives on money, not a fan base, one said today. Respectfully, I don’t see how those things are mutually exclusive. Without a fan base there is no money to be made. You can cut your losses with one part of it and try to appeal more to another, but ultimately I don’t think the Caryl fanbase of all things is that expendable, otherwise they wouldn’t bother trying to exploit us so often. 

I’m sure you all have varying reasons to be part of WAAC. Me personally, I want Carylers to have a positive presence in the larger TWD community, at least in the eyes of the people who give us the show. I want our perspective on the characters and the show to hold value (literally) and be appreciated if not validated, which is why I am strongly encouraging our next blitz (the date and time of which are in the email I sent out, so please be sure to check), to focus on our love for Caryl, the actors who play them, and the showrunner who wrote them beautifully rather than the circumstances surrounding the movement. If we do that, we can’t be accused of reacting selfishly or disregarding Melissa’s wellbeing. We already know neither of those things are our intention, but it’d be great if they could see that too.