#the only reason why mike is reacting this way is because hes somehow had every long ass shift with orbulon being some sort of menace lmao

[toneinaflat]

more of a one-off thing but these two are definitely the type of people to work some sort of movie theater job . especially mike tryna become independent and being broke as fuck lmaooooo.

[stranger-marauders]

fractured

nineteen: reunited

chapter summary: After Eleven reunites with everyone at the Byers' house, the group comes up with a new game plan to close the gate for good.

chapter warnings: language

word count: 1.9k

series masterlist | masterlist

KATE LOWERED HER gun as she watched Mike move closer to Eleven.

As far as everyone in that room knew (besides her and her father, of course), El had died after defeating the Demogorgon last year. Neither Kate nor her father had told any of them that she hadn't died because of the threat to her safety. While it had impacted everyone involved in the first incident involving the Upside Down, it had certainly affected Mike the most (he had taken care of El in secret in his basement for a week whenever they had first become involved with the Upside Down).

Even though Kate and Hopper immediately recognized the girl in front of them, making them lower their weapons, and Mike moved closer to her, Steve was completely confused. At first, it didn't click into place for him; he had only been concerned that this random girl had somehow killed a Demo-dog with her mind, proceeding to throw it through Joyce's window and then unlock the door with her mi—oh. He didn't dare ask because he very quickly realized that this must have been Eleven, the girl with superpowers he had only heard about, except now she had short, slicked back hair instead of the buzz cut. He knew he couldn't be the only person with any hesitations, right? "Is that...?" Max started, but when everyone in the room only stared at Mike and El hugging in front of them, she seemed to get her answer.

"I never gave up on you," Mike said, pulling away from El. "I called you every night. Every night for—"

"Three hundred and fifty-three days," El said, cutting him off. "I heard."

Mike hesitated. "Why didn't you tell me you were there? That you were okay?"

"Because I wouldn't let her," Hopper replied.

Kate sighed as her father stepped closer to El. Her hair was slicked back, her eyes had black greasepaint under them and on her eyelids, and her clothing was all black, which was much different than the flannels she normally wore.

Hopper only seemed to stare at her. "The hell is this? Where you been?"

"Where have you been? And you?" El asked, looking to him and Kate.

Hopper only hugged the girl, and Kate came up behind her, joining in. "I'm so sorry, Ellie."

Before she could reply, however, Mike interrupted the Hopper family reunion. "You two've been hiding her," he said, anger starting to taint his tone. "You've been hiding her this whole time!"

"Hey!" Hopper said, grabbing Mike after the boy had hit him. "Let's talk. Alone."

The two girls watched as Hopper took Mike into another room. Before El could react, Kate engulfed her in a hug of her own. "I'm so glad you're okay. You scared the shit outta me, you know that?"

El started to pull Kate tighter into her arms, but she accidentally grazed the wound on her side, Kate quickly wincing in response. El jumped back, pulling herself away as she noticed the patch on her stomach peeking through the tear marks of her sweatshirt. Her eyes became wide, almost seeming to glaze over. It was almost like she had a moment of realization, one along of the lines of it being her fault Kate had gotten injured. "Hurt?"

"I'm okay," Kate said, shaking her head and trying to smile reassuringly. She didn't want to upset Eleven now that she had just gotten back. "I promise, okay? Don't worry about me, talk to your friends!"

El smiled in response, and with that, Dustin and Lucas brought the younger girl into a tight hug as Kate walked back over to Steve, who looped his arm around the girl to help support her. Before Kate could say anything, Steve said, "So that's why you wouldn't let me in the other night."

Kate shrugged, stifling a laugh. "Yeah, sorry. That shouldn't be a problem anymore for obvious reasons."

"I wouldn't have even known, by the way. I never got to see her. I was also told she had no hair?"

Kate gave him a confused look, but whenever he shot the same look back, she remembered that Steve had only gotten involved at the tail end of that weekend, when everything had happened the first time around. Steve had come to Jonathan's house to apologize for being an asshole, but Jonathan, Nancy, and Kate were there to fight the Demogorgon. While Steve did get to see the Demogorgon, he didn't get to see Eleven, nor watch her in the deprivation tank (or kiddie pool) that they'd built in the Hawkins Middle School gym. "Yeah, well, she did have a buzz cut. Those can grow out, Steven, in case you didn't know."

Steve chuckled, pulling the girl closer to him. "You know, I never thought the Hoppers would be ones to harbor a fugitive."

"You know, me neither. Guess there's a first time for everything."

He chuckled in response. Without another word, Kate leaned her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. Whenever he looked down to her, he almost melted. Even after everything, she was still beautiful to him. "We should probably go check them soon."

"Like we didn't check them fifteen minutes ago."

Steve sighed. "I'm just worried about you, Kathy."

She gave an unreadable expression. "I'm okay, Steve."

Even though he knew that Kate was far from okay, wasn't even in the realm of okay, he didn't press her on it, only pulling her closer to him. Right now, the only thing that was keeping him from absolutely freaking out was the fact that she was standing right next to him, and helping even more was the fact that his arm was wrapped around her.

It was a feeling that he could get used to, him and her together. Now that he knew the Hoppers' deepest darkest secret, he hoped that Kate had been right in saying that it wouldn't be a problem anymore. He wanted things to be how they used to be, minus the screwing a random girl every other week or so. While he didn't exactly love the fact that she was so hurt, so close to death, he did love the excuse to put his arm around her, to hold her hand. It was his way of supporting her, even if he knew she would later try to fight him on it.

He didn't say anything else to her, letting her mind rest for a moment. Even if she didn't want to admit it, he was sure that working out the Morse code hadn't helped the obvious headache she had. He would've told her to lay down while they figured out the next portion of their plan, but he didn't want to start an argument with her. Steve figured that maybe her father would get her to hang back, and maybe she would finally listen and take it easy for the time being. He feared if she didn't stop pushing herself soon that she would make things even worse than they already were.

Steve watched over her carefully, shifting his gaze in between her and Eleven, the girl that had superpowers. Part of him couldn't believe that everyone else had been so okay with her killing one of these things and sending it flying through Joyce's living room window, but he figured he would just go with it. He didn't want to piss off the girl with superpowers, did he? Part of him could already tell, though, that the girl with superpowers was much more than a girl with superpowers to Kate: Kate loved her like a sister, and Steve knew that without her even having to tell him. It warmed his heart to see that Kate got to be an older sister again.

Kate watched carefully as Joyce explained everything that had happened to El. She had shown her Will, who still lay on the couch asleep, as the group finished their game plan.

"You opened this gate before, right?" Joyce asked her.

"Yes," El replied.

Joyce sighed. "Do you think if we got you back there, that you could close it?"

Eleven didn't reply, but just about everyone knew what her answer would be.

It hadn't taken long for the group to revise their original plan, especially now that they had Eleven to close the gate.

Hopper sighed. "It's not like it was before." He had been trying his best to explain the situation to the group, but most importantly Eleven, who had already agreed to close the gate. "It's grown. A lot. And, I mean, that's considering we can get in there. The place is crawling with those dogs."

"Demodogs," Dustin corrected.

Hopper looked to him with an unreadable expression. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, uh, Demodogs," Dustin replied. "Like Demogorgon and dogs. You put them together, it sounds pretty badass—"

"How is this important right now?"

"It's not. I'm sorry," he replied, diverting eye contact with the Chief. It was almost like Dustin was afraid of him.

"I can do it," El said, pulling the conversation back to the original topic.

"You're not hearing me," Hopper replied.

"I'm hearing you. I can do it."

"Even if El can, there's still another problem," Mike said. "If the brain dies, the body dies."

"I thought that was the whole point," Max replied.

"It is, but if we're really right about this...," Mike started. "I mean, if El closes the gate and kills the Mind Flayer's army..."

"Will's a part of that army," Lucas said, filling in the blank that Mike had been leaving out.

"Closing the gate will kill him."

Kate only watched Joyce at the end of the table—she knew she couldn't lose anyone else tonight and she was going to make sure of it, especially since Bob's loss was her fault. Even if no one had said it was, Kate couldn't help but blame herself. She didn't think she would ever stop blaming herself for it, not when he could have still been alive. She wished he would have let her die instead.

Before anyone could say anything else, Joyce moved out of the room quickly. Naturally, everyone followed her to her destination—Will's room.

"He likes it cold," Joyce said, almost to herself.

"What?"

"It's what Will kept saying to me," Joyce explained. "He likes it cold." She closed the window. "We keep giving it what it wants."

"If this is a virus, and Will's the host, then...," Nancy started.

"Then we need to make the host uninhabitable," Jonathan replied.

"So if he likes it cold..."

"We need to burn it out of him," Kate finished.

"We have to do it somewhere he doesn't know this time," Mike said.

"Yeah, somewhere far away."

That was when Kate and her father made eye contact with one another, and she nodded. "You know, I think I know a place."

next chapter

taglist:

@thatsonezesty13 @cece5298 @thepowerstoner @alovelytardis @coolchick333 @stand-tall-pineapple @littlet-holmes @guichu @cinderellacauseshebroke @blackbirddaredevil23 @mads-weasley @ilovemarauders @pearlstiare @liableperfections @khaylin27 @girlwiththerubyslippers

[flaringgoosebumps]

Idk Byler and Milkvan intersect so often that it is a tragedy.

If Brenner hadn't forced Eleven to push her powers in the first place causing the gate to open, causing enough chaos for her to escape, she would still be in that lab. If it never happened, Will would've never went missing. If Will didn't go missing, the boys wouldn't have been in the woods looking for him only to end up finding Eleven instead. If Eleven hadn't recognized Will from the photo, their only goal with keeping her around was until they found a place for her to go. No one would've had an idea of how to find Will without Eleven and none of the party would've survived without her at the school. Eleven's disappeared at the same time Will was found. Mike got to shift his focus from looking after her and protecting her, back to Will. He noticed every change Will went through and stood by his side when he could. Worried when he couldn't be there with him. Arguably because he knew because of meeting Eleven that the people he was with were bad people who could hurt him. All the while, not giving up on Eleven throughout her absence, the same way he didn't give up on Will through his. Without Mike knowing Will so well, he wouldn't have known to warn the lab people about the danger they were in and without that, Eleven might not have been motivated to come home. At the snowball idk if this is even worth mentioning but it's interesting that Eleven doesn't come in until Will is already off dancing.

Then, as season 3 it's established that Mike and Eleven run off and abandon the group after short periods of time. Begins with El and Him together and Him having to leave to join will and lumax at the movies as they planned. When the rift between El and Mike begins, he ignores Will almost entirely until Will gets upset. Interesting that with the conflict with Eleven, he didn't know what to do. He didn't follow her, he just watched her leave. He and Lucas went over it but didn't know how to handle it or even why she reacted how she did. But with the conflict with Will, Mike apologized immediately, tried to make it better, immediately. Followed him twice. Physically making the effort to reach Will. Which is strange because right before Will showed he was upset, Mike's only concern was Eleven. And had he hesitated with reaching out to Will, the way he did with Eleven at that moment and continuing to focus on her and not his friendship, they might not have found out about the mindflayer quick enough to help anyone. And being thrown into the line of battle again, rekindled Eleven and Mike sooner than what would have if things were moving at their normal pace because neither reached out to the other within that time. Then, they move. Meaning for the first time ever, Mike has to live without both of them. And season 3 really proved that Mike doesn't know how to balance his individual relationships with them without nearly losing the other. And somehow Mike needed Will's encouragement to tell Eleven he loved her.

The tragedy above all is, pain is there no matter what happens. Imagine how guilty Will could be about how he's in love with Mike, for obvious reasons, but add in the fact that he's only alive because she helped save him more than once, same goes for Mike. And how she never had a chance for a "normal" life until she met Mike.

Gutwrenching. No matter where this goes.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Hey, Lost! Do you know if an Isayama quote I vaguely remember is true? Something about not drawing how Levi mourned Erwin's death/buried him because he couldn't portray the veterans' relationships as more special between each other than others. I've always had a suspicion he was censored on queer characters, like Hange's gender in the anime, and if that quote is real, that's one reason why I suspect it. If you're not comfortable answering, that's fine. Thanks!

Hi Anon, I think a few things may have got a bit mixed up here. I'm not aware of any quote from Isayama along these lines, unless I'm missing something, however he did talk about Erwin and Mike's death during the Oita autograph event Q&A in 2018.

Isayama on Erwin’s remains

Q: What happened to Erwin’s remains?

A: Although at that time he couldn’t go immediately, at a later date, Levi brought back Erwin’s skeletal remains and buried them. Although a lot of people died, it seems that only Erwin received special burial.

Source

Full Direction Quote

Q: Did the captain have a burial for Erwin’s body?

A: Yeah, it was special only for the commander…That day, Levi went back once, but it was impossible to do it, because so many people died. When he managed to, Erwin was pretty much skeletonized. I think he was pretty much skeletonized when he was buried.

Source

[Translation by @yusenki]

Surrounding people’s reaction toward Mike’s death:

Q: How did Erwin and Levi react toward Mike’s death (any portrayal/description about), it was necessary, right?

Bakku-san smiled bitterly.

Isayama: We must have been in a hurry and didn’t manage to draw it properly.

Bakku-san: We lost good people pretty early

Source

Isayama on Mike’s last moment:

Quote from Isayama: I aimed for grimness and as the result, either he was cornered until his dignity was trampled or he was forcefully exposed to the side of him that he didn’t want to show. I thought whether that was the cruelest thing and somehow I did it to him.

Source

[Translation by @yusenki]

(Thanks to @momtaku for reminding me about the quote about Mike, I'd forgotten about that one.)

I'm not going to lie, I was extremely salty when we didn't get to see any kind of burial or memorial service for Erwin, particularly when it was confirmed in the manga that there would be a burial for the fallen Survey Corps soldiers "at a later date". I know I wasn't the only one who was really annoyed when the time skip happened and that later date never came. However it was some comfort when Isayama confirmed that Levi went back to Shiganshina to retrieve Erwin's remains and bring him home, and that he was treated with the dignity he deserved, and his sacrifice honoured and commemorated.

That being said, I don't think the reason that Isayama didn't draw these scenes is due to censorship, I think it's more down to plot and pacing, which have always been problematic in the manga. Some scenes that you would expect to carry weight are glossed over or missing altogether, while others are done to death. Historia's whole arc is a case in point.

I'm also not sure I agree that Levi isn't shown to mourn Erwin in the manga. I think it's quite clear that Levi is grieving after his return from Shiganshina, even if he does so in his own quiet, stoic way. And the fact that he never forgot his vow to Erwin is further proof of the lasting impact that Erwn's death had on him.

Regarding censorship in the anime, I know this is something that some fans have been very vocal about. I'm not really familiar enough with the anime industry to know what authors, producers and studios can and can't get away with in different genres of anime. However I do know that SnK is a massive multi million dollar media franchise so I suspect every decision taken is a compromise between the author, the producer, the studio, and all the other stakeholders involved. I'm sure that different forms of "censorship" are rife in the anime industry, but I couldn't say how much of an impact that has had on a franchise like SnK. Isayama has always struck me as quite a canny operator, and I suspect he's done a pretty good job of telling the story that he wants with treading the fine line of what's acceptable to portray on screen.

I'm not going to go into the subject of Hanji's gender here, but if you want chapter and verse on the subject, I can highly recommend this post by @tsuki-no-ura.

[therealvinelle]

Oh! Okay so what if Elana Gilbert and Bella Swan swap places, (like, swap their brains i guess, so their friends and family still think theyre the same) what would happen to them? Would Elana survive Edward’s affections? Would Bella react well to Stefan and Damon? (I kno you only saw some of the show, but i think you saw all the seasons Elana is human, and thats what matters.)

Hm, well the vampires from The Vampire Diaries are human in every way that counts, they're essentially sexier humans with a funky diet.

Elena is in love with Stefan for Stefan, his vampirism is just a facet of him. Edward will be as horrifying to her as a Twilight vampire normally is to humans.

Bella, meanwhile, is in love with Edward for all the wrong reasons. She's not going to fall for Stefan and Damon.

What happens to Twilightified Elena

Depends on when Elena is thrown into Twilight. And on when it is for Elena as well, is it at the beginning of TVD? Because if so, then she's mourning her parents and doesn't know about anything supernatural.

If so, then Elena has a terrible time because she must mourn for her parents in this world where no one knows they died, in fact the internet tells her they never existed in the first place, and there's this well-meaning stranger who wants to father her in their place. The angst would be unreal.

But, Elena of canon wanted to tough it out and stay her partying self, even if only on the surface, so she'd become best friends with Jessica and Lauren, and go with them to every party imaginable.

Somehow or other she loses the Yandere simulator, and is eaten by Edward.

If we take Elena from the end of season 2, then this is an Elena who knows about the supernatural. Bodyswaps are a thing in TVD, so she's stunned to find it happened to her and worried about Bella Swan, but she's got her bearing.

Or so she thinks.

Turns out, the year is 2005.

She tries to get in contact with someone, anybody, from her own world. She searches for the Salvatores, for witches, and in a final last act of desperation she puts on an ad on craigslist to get Elijah.

There's no trace of any of them. Not even when she gets desperate enough to post "Petrova döppelganger looking for original vampire" on her myspace.

Nothing, not even Klaus, just silence.

More terrifyingly yet, it appears Mystic Falls doesn't exist anymore.

It's a terrified Elena Gilbert who walks into Forks High the day after.

She knows at a sight that there's something wrong with the Cullens. When Edward spends an entire hour glaring at her for daring to exist, she is officially creeped out.

Elena returns home very scared that day.

She's in a new place, she doesn't know how to get home, and there are terrifying people at her school who seem to have it out for her.

She spends the following week confirming that everything she ever knew has simply ceased to exist.

Then Edward returns to school after a week's absence, and asks a series of questions aimed at finding out who she is and why she came to Forks.

Elena starts putting two and two together.

Of three things, she is absolutely certain.

One, reality has been rewritten. The people and places in Elena's life no longer exists, nor does Elena herself for that matter.

Two, no one in this world apart from Elena herself appears to be aware that this has happened.

Three, the one other anomaly in this world is the Cullens. They're clearly not human, and act not unlike pod people than everybody else, in fact they interact with no one. Except Elena herself. Who is being singled out by them.

Elena comes to the terrifying conclusion that the Cullens are an unknown species, a powerful magical one, capable of rewriting the laws of reality.

And she doesn't know if she's an accident, if she's Neo misbehaving in the Matrix, or if this reality marble was created to entrap her specifically.

She decides she's had enough.

She has no powers, no resources, no contacts.

What she does have is her wits.

And, possibly, the element of surprise.

Armed with nothing, Elena gets in the truck and drives to the Cullen house, having gotten the address somehow, and made sure to tell Charlie, Jessica, Lauren, Mike, and her Myspace where she's going.

There, she marches up their porch, knocks on their door, and asks to speak with them.

The Cullens, on their end, are stunned.

From their point of view, this is the anonymous singer who's been tormenting Edward. Yes, she has a name and all that, but they don't know anything about her.

More, she should have no interest in them.

Wanting to appear in control of the situation, Elena calls them in to the living room for an honest conversation, all cards on the table.

Well shit, the Cullens say to themselves, Edward's singer had to be the one girl in North America who knows about vampires.

Now, I do believe Elena is too intelligent to blurt everything she knows immediately and lose her leverage.

No, she asks them if she was supposed to know or not.

The question makes perfect sense to her - is she an anomaly in the Matrix, could it be Jessica is in fact amnesia Caroline and Forks as a whole is actually just nu-Mystic Fall, or is it just Elena?

The Cullens, meanwhile, wonder how on earth this girl can think she was supposed to know she was Edward's singer and that they're vampires.

She may not know what she thinks she knows.

Carlisle tells her the truth. No, miss Swan, you were not supposed to know.

Taking this as confirmation that she's in the Matrix, Elena asks if there are others. She, of course, is wondering if there are other people, perhaps right here in Forks, either with amnesia or else keeping their heads low, who have been taken from the real world.

Or, more chillingly, if everyone is living fake lives in this fake world.

The Cullens, meanwhile, wonder what others she's talking about.

Carlisle takes the plunge. Either she knows what the word means or she doesn't, if she doesn't then she'll have nothing to google because this isn't known to humans at all, plus the word is only a rough translation of the Italian term.

"Other singers, you mean?"

Elena blinks.

Singers, like sirens?

The Cullens are terribly beautiful.

But... sirens?

She stows this away for future use.

Elena decides this conversation has been cryptic enough, and point blank tells the Cullens that she means people who don't belong in this reality at all.

I imagine there comes a point where Carlisle has to call Aro. The girl knows nothing about vampires, she thinks they're semi-harmless human-looking creatures that burn in the sun and can be killed by humans. She's not a problem in that regard.

So Aro gets a call from Carlisle, explaining how a human girl showed up on his doorstep claiming he had created an alternate reality, and that her world apparently has a different worldbuilding altogether.

Oh, and Carlisle's telepath son can't read her mind.

He is in Forks practically before Carlisle can hang up the call.

I imagine Elena gets to spend years as a human, because if the body of Bella Swan is somehow a link to another dimension, then altering that into another species might sever the link.

No, Elena, Aro, and Carlisle spend the following years in a Volterra lab, trying and failing to engineer a pathway back to her world.

In the end, if they're unsuccessful, Elena is turned into a vampire, and Aro has a jolly good time reading her memories from another dimension once she has the control to let her shields down.

Elena, who only ever wanted to be human and thought TVD vampires were too spicy to turn into, cries.

What happens to TVDified Bella

Bella somehow manages to feel guilty about not being Elena. This must all be her fault. Somehow.

An optimist as always, Bonnie dives headfirst into reversing whatever spell was put on her best friend.

She never succeeds, and both women are crushed by guilt over something not their fault.

Damon, I imagine, kills Bella sooner or later during a drunken outburst.

[oursonwithagirl]

the issue with mike’s love confession to el in season 4

this all revolves around michael wheeler. mike’s recurring problem in seasons 3 and 4 has been vocalizing his love to his girlfriend. he’s said it when he was surrounded by people which he claims was “heat of the moment”. yet it’s shown time and time again that he can’t get it out to eleven unprompted. (keep in mind that the only other person shown on the show to also have this issue is nancy, who couldn’t express her love vocally to steve because she wasn’t actually in love with him.)

this perspective contrasts greatly with el, who can vocalize it and mean it. this says a lot based on her neglectful and abusive childhood and how she really only starts to learn what love even is at the age of 12. eleven is being open and vulnerable in the relationship and this is clear in the show. mike shouldn’t have any reason to believe that his love isn’t being reciprocated by her.

mike’s monologue to el in the s4 finale is riddled with cliches “i feel like my life started the day i found you in those woods”, untrue statements “i’ve never felt scared of you”, and overemphasis “i’ve loved you every day since. i love you on your good days. i love you on your bad days”. overemphasis of phrases is used a lot in persuasive techniques to convince people of things. (kinda like the “we’re friends. we’re friends.” in which mike was trying to convince himself.) within mike’s confession, he finally gives his reason for not being able to say ily to el. it’s this: “i’m scared one day you’ll realize you won’t need me anymore. i thought that if i said how i felt, it would somehow make that day hurt more”.

based on mike’s excuse, he knows that he loves el, he just can’t say it to her, but he still wants her to know it. he tries to make her feel loved more through his actions than his words. by this point, eleven also knows mike loves her, but she wants to hear it. mike is hyper aware that he’s dodging these words: “i’m sorry i don’t say it more” ummm you never do. mike is anticipating that eleven will eventually leave him and when it occurs, he’ll feel better knowing he didn’t tell her that he loved her. 🤔 but the thing is, the day she leaves him will already hurt mike bc he understands intrinsically, without speaking aloud, that he loves el. interesting.

it’s important that this issue doesn’t have at all to do with will specifically, it’s about mike himself and his internal battle with the way he feels about eleven. mike’s character during the past 2 seasons has been about obsessing over his girlfriend, unless there is something deeper there (internalized homophobia, repression, and hiding from truth).

there were many other ways for mike to explain why he was not able to vocalize ily to el, and here are a few

- the whole parents not loving each other reason. this explanation actually circulated around quite a bit on social media before volume 2 was released. this really could’ve been given some time had it been explored. however it wasn’t mentioned in the slightest.

- vulnerability: it can be hard to say the word “love” bc the person trying to say it can feel weak and exposed to the people that they’re admitting it to or even any people that happen to hear them say it. but mike does say that he loves her in front of many close family and friends in s3 so this argument has no support.

- ptsd and trauma: again, another super valid and realistic way that his inability to express his love verbally could’ve been shown. yet in mike’s case, he’s one of the characters on the show that is seemingly unaffected by his life events. as finn once said in an interview “deep down there’s some trauma, but that doesn’t come out”.

basically, mike doesn’t mean it, not in that way. which he doesn’t think is okay or acceptable. given the way he reacts so hurt to the bullies in s1 when they make fun of will by insinuating that he’s gay, i’m sure mike’s at least partially aware of what will was subjected to by lonnie. bc of the time period and what his best friend went through, he does not want that for himself. so he pushes it back, and tries to reverse his thinking, his actions, his feelings. and when the opportunity arises for him to be normal and get a girlfriend, he jumps at it.

but why doesn’t he just lie about it right away then? maybe cuz of what happens early in season 3. with the help of max, el establishes that lies in relationships are bad, mike eventually stops this and isn’t able to vocalize romantic love to el. but in s4 he learns through will that el lied to him while she was away and even on their first day back reunited, so maybe he takes that as being okay to also lie and do the same to her again. at least in a moment where it comes down to saving her life right ? 😃 also… anyone else curious if mike is gonna be able to say it to her in season 5 just normally now?

this season seemed to showcase that mike ultimately would’ve rather had el leave him than live his life even further in a lie by not meaning what he’s feeling and what he says to her. it was building up to this in episodes 1-5. the desert scene with will was really helping him come to this realization, and after all, in a week he’s flying back to hawkins for who knows how long and spending more time away from her. the only time he would put up with this big of a lie, worst case scenario, is if it were to possibly save her in life or death situation. voila monologue

but idk lol

[eddie-spaghettis-bifocals]

Seed part 2

read part 1 here :)

For years now, Eddie has told Myra he wants a garden.

The first time he told her was a year into their marriage. She went along with it, probably assuming he had some semblance of botanical knowledge to suggest it at all, and then he killed everything he planted, and it had upset him in such a deeply personal way. She could never understand it. Not that he fucking understood it either, but rather than take the time to try and figure that out, he stubbornly tried it again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

Of course, at some point, Myra just begged him to stop. To stop doing this, to stop making himself so angry over something so trivial. “Why does it matter?” she’d ask. Ha! As if Eddie had any fucking clue, himself.

And he thought he never would. He thought it’d just be another one of those weird inexplicable things about him. He thought he’d spend the rest of his strange, spotty life miserably failing to garden every single summer and getting upset about it until he stumbled upon whatever the hell this midlife crisis symptom was trying to fucking tell him.

Ha.

You suppressed the weirdest childhood trauma known to man, it told him the second he came back to Derry. Then, when he saw all the losers: You used to have a real family that made you happy.

Your sickness isn’t real and you kind of always knew, he remembers shortly after Mr. Keene’s pharmacy basement nightmare. You’re gay actually, he accepts in the hours before going down into the sewers and very nearly dying.

You fell in love once a long time ago, he thought as he lie bleeding out in his best friend’s arms in the place he feared the most. He shut his eyes on accident and opened them back up in a hospital room, where he sees all the losers in various states of exhaustion. Richie is asleep, leaned halfway over onto his hospital bed, head on Eddie’s tubed up arm. And you never really fell out.

He was sure, at the time, that that was about the last of the suppressed Derry revelations about himself he could take, but that was then. This is now, at their final stop before meeting Mike at the airport and leaving Derry forever. Richie’s hand supports Eddie’s bandaged arm again as they stand in the Barrens, as if he thinks Eddie might lose his balance and topple right into the fucking creek—as if he doesn’t have a brand new cane to help prevent things of exactly that nature. He joins Eddie in staring up and up and endlessly up at what Eddie thinks may have been the lamest, most confusing grand gesture of his entire life:

A tree.

It definitely wasn’t here the last time he was, but he knows it innately, all the same. And judging by the look on Richie’s face, he knows it, too.

He wants to slap himself.

For years now, he’s told Myra he wants a fucking garden to his own bewilderment when all along, it’s been because of some stupid tree—and every embarrassingly intimate thing it accidentally represented—that he grew with comedian Richie fucking Tozier back when he was a nobody twenty-seven years ago. Back when they were both at their most honest and vulnerable. When Eddie was at his most unabashedly infatuated—uninhibited in a way he’s never been since, determined and emboldened, freshly thirteen and endlessly stupid—

“Well, whaddayaknow, huh?” Richie whistles. Eddie slides his nervous eyes over to see Richie still looking up like he’s afraid to stop. “Tall and shady. Just like you said. There’s some birds up top, I see. For Stan,” he says, and his lips tilt up at the sides.

There had been, it appears, some sort of magic involved in Eddie’s survival. Bill told him that by the time they got him to the hospital, the bleeding had stopped. Combine that with the fact that the scars on their palms are now completely gone, and the fact that Stan’s wife called Beverly back before Eddie woke up to tell her that Stan had pulled through somehow—it’s so strange we were sure he was gone—Eddie is inclined to think that, too.

And of course, they’re all overjoyed about it, but Eddie thinks Richie’s probably the happiest, since Stan was his best friend. Eddie likes to think that he was too, but there hasn’t been a good time over the last couple of days to ask. Or a good reason. Or a mature reason.

He knows that Richie, Bev, and Ben have made quiet plans to go to Georgia together after Richie finally leaves Derry to visit Stan in the hospital and stay for his recovery. Meet Patty. Obviously, they’re all invited, but they’re all acting like they don’t expect to see Eddie there for a while. At least not as immediately as Richie, Bev, and Ben will be there. He figures they all think he’s got his divorce to deal with and don’t realize that he’d rather do anything but.

“No squirrels though,” Richie hums. He looks at Eddie, eyes suddenly full of mischief as he pinches his lips to hide a smile. Just like he used to. “Just you, Rocky…”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Shut up, don’t fucking call me Rocky, that’s not even funny, are you kidding me?” He kind of hates the way he knows he’s doing exactly what Richie wants, just like back then. Richie watches him explode just like then, too, like there’s nothing else he’d rather be watching. Eddie’s heart thrums like a hummingbird’s. “Like, now I have to call you Bullwinkle, you fucking gargantuan moose-headed motherfucker and that’s not any more original than you still calling me Rocky twenty-seven years later.”

“What was it you said that day?” Richie grins. He’s not even hiding the way they both know he just likes to rile Eddie up. Eddie wishes he were really as annoyed with him as they both know he pretends to be. “Something about carving your name at the very top with my buckteeth?”

“Well what were you doing with them aside from taunting the bullies?” Eddie laughs out, surprised, but now he definitely remembers saying it. Worse, he remembers imagining later, after he and Richie had gone their separate ways, coming back here and carving Richie’s name instead. God.

“Ouch, and you called me a dickhead?”

Eddie snorts, can feel his smile matching Richie’s. “Yeah, you were being a dickhead.”

“You were being short.”

“Well—” Eddie stares and blinks and bolsters himself up for another round but finds himself laughing instead, isn’t all that surprised when he can’t make himself stop. He wants to say it’s a belated release of all the leftover adrenaline he’s probably still got pent up inside, but he’s getting tired of lying to himself. He can feel his smile stretching and stretching, and knows he hasn’t smiled like this in years, hasn’t laughed at something stupid like this in longer. The laughing kind of hurts, what with the violent ripping open, then rapid mending shut of his chest cavity, but he thinks for the first time in his life that this is a good pain.

Richie reaches to steady him, again as if he doesn’t have a cane for this very thing. Richie hasn’t even left yet, and Eddie misses him. Ridiculously, he thinks he’ll miss him for the rest of his whole life.

“You’re not funny,” Eddie deadpans once he stops laughing, once he's caught his breath, but he fails terribly, still grinning. He sees the way Richie is smiling back at him. He is just as afraid to look too much into it as he is to look away.

“You sound just like my critics,” Richie laughs. “You should come to my shows,” he offers like a second thought, but Eddie thinks his cheeks look a little pink, then that he’s losing his mind. “You could heckle me—that’s always good publicity. You’ve always been the best at roasting me. You know all the embarrassing stuff. You know exactly how much of a fucking joke my life is.”

Eddie scoffs. He would say he’s always been the worst at roasting Richie because he never means a word of it. “My life’s a joke,” he rolls his eyes. “On top of everything Derry did to us, I think this fucking tree kind of haunted me.” He says, as a joke, but he thinks there’s a part of himself that means it. Which is even more ridiculous. “I spent the better part of like fifteen years trying to garden for no apparent fucking reason because apparently this tree was that big a fucking deal to me. Do you remember wanting anything the way we wanted this tree to grow?”

Richie doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he sighs, meets Eddie’s gaze, then drops a bombshell. “Eds, dude, you gotta know I, like, barely cared about this thing.”

“What?” Eddie reacts with so much shock, it must show on his face because Richie winces. “You… what?” Eddie says slowly, waiting for Richie to crack but be doesn’t. Only shakes his head, sucks in air through his teeth and keeps wincing.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m not mad, just—” He’s a little embarrassed. He could deal with this if they had both trauma bonded to this stupid fucking tree. He could chock that down to more Derry bullshit—he already had, but he couldn’t handle it if he were the crazy one and Richie had just been, what, humoring him? He shakes his head. “No, I am mad,” he decides, and Richie chortles and that only makes him madder. “What do you mean you didn’t care? That doesn’t make sense, you woke up at like five a.m. to come do this with me!”

“Yeah, ‘cause you cornered me in the clubhouse all alone and said you needed me.” Richie looks over at him, then seems to immediately regret it, drops his eyes onto the grass. “I mean, I barely even knew what you needed me for when you said it, but I thought if I didn’t do it, you might ask one of the others, so I woke up to come do this really fucking depressing thing with you—”

“Fuck you, man,” Eddie snaps, flustered. “It was supposed to be hopeful!”

“Well it was fucking depressing,” Richie tells him with an easy smile. He finally looks at Eddie as he does, but his expression is nervous. Pensive. “But that’s okay. Because it was you.” Again, Eddie’s heart thrums like a hummingbird. “And if you were gonna make anyone wake up at the ass crack of dawn to try your hand at desperately redefining the word ‘burial’ just to prove something to the universe, then I fucking wanted it to be with me.”

Eddie stares at him, speechless. Richie stares right back, shoulders kind of slumped, like he doesn’t know how to hold himself. There’s this feeling like a deep breath, a feeling of relief—finally it’s out there.

And Eddie supposes, now that he has to face it, that he knew. Maybe even back then he knew. Maybe he always knew, deep, deep down, that it wasn’t always just him. He was just afraid, and wasn’t that always the thing about him? He had been too afraid to hope then, and he almost wants to be now, but he looks at Richie and thinks they’ve wasted enough time.

“I always used to hope it was something like that,” Eddie admits. When Richie looks over at him, he stares back head-on, tells himself to be uninhibited, and determined, and emboldened, and endlessly stupid, just like he was all those years ago. Just like the last time they were here together. “That you did… stupid things just for me like I did stupid things just for you.”

Richie watches him like he’s afraid to hope, and frankly, Eddie kind of is, too. Irrationally, despite everything, he imagines Richie possibly having someone back in LA—possibly having a hundred someones on reserve, but something unhinged inside him thinks if even the jaws of fucking death couldn’t keep him from Richie, then good luck to Richie’s imaginary side piece in LA.

Richie laughs loosely, looking uncertain. “If you’re trying to tell me that this was one of those stupid things and not just some weirdly morose growth allegory, then—”

“Yeah, okay, growth allegory,” Eddie rolls his eyes, “whatever—whatever, but also you.” They’re close, Richie still hovering like something might happen, but Eddie doubts he planned for this. For Eddie to release his cane in favor of Richie’s hands. To tug him even closer like he knows what he’s doing. To reach up and pull his face toward him so he’ll stop looking wildly between Eddie’s hands and the cane on the ground he traded for them. “Like, mostly you.”

“Oh,” Richie blinks, eyes wide and owlish like they always looked when they were kids. He looks at Eddie, back and forth between his eyes like they’ll tell him the truth more than words could. He smiles and proceeds to nearly ruin it. “Cool, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this? I’m not good under pressure.”

Eddie scoffs, says, “Pressure,” and kisses him.

Richie kisses him back, startled and laughing a little, but he kisses back like it’s nature. Like it’s innate and organic and unchangeable. Something that Eddie’s certain has been trying to grow between them for decades.

They won’t forget it this time.

[soulwillower]

butterflies • mike hanlon

(mike hanlon x reader)

requested:  Can you write something for Mike? Whenever you have time of course😊 I don’t mind if it’s smut or fluff, imagine or head cannons. I just really need more Mike in my life💗 thank you -🃏 p.s ilysm

warning: swearing, brief mentions of sex thx richie (and stan and bill), just fluffy stuff, underage drinking, unedited

[losers + reader are 18 in this.]

i wrote this rly quickly bc i just had an idea and im in love w mike, i hope u guys enjoy! i also made this gender neutral 

♡

1.8k words

"what're you staring at, toots?" a cheeky voice pulls you out of your daydream.

you look to your left and stare at richie, cheeks heating up. "what are you talking about?" you ask, feeling flustered. your friend chuckles, the lenses of his glasses glinting in the midday sun.

 it's hot today - you, eddie, and richie had just crawled from the quarry to rest on blankets, your skin warm and hair dripping onto your bodies as you watch the others swim.

in the distance, a bout of laughter grabs your attention and you focus on your friends. mike's got bev in his arms as he tosses her through the water, flying and both of them laughing. you smile, watching mike's back muscles move, his blinding smile as he wipes water from his eyes. 

bill socks him on the shoulder lightly in jest and mike turns his head with a laugh. and then mike's warm eyes are locking with yours from far away and your stomach flutters. he waves, and you softly wave back. 

"uh, that."

you look back with a frown to eddie, who's staring at you with a straight look. richie's got the same one on his own angular face and you scowl at them, crossing your arms. "i don't know what you're on about. you guys are assholes, anyways." you mutter the second part, toe nudging the sand at the edge of your towel.

"it's okay, y/n.

your eyebrows lift and you sigh, surprised by the moment of sincerity from the boy who's always joking.

"then you can finally fuck him all you want."

"wait, now. y/n fucking who?" stan asks, walking up with a grin and flanked by ben and bev on either side. they all fall to the ground and shake their hair out with towels or grab their phone.

"obviously mike. who else?" eddie adds, tossing you a smirk. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. a quick glance proves that bill and mike are still in the water, making their way over slowly but in deep conversation. at least they're out of earshot.

"yeah, she's been hung up on him since the seventh grade. we're eighteen now, doll. it's time."  richie says this with a half-full mouth of beer, prompting you, ben, bev, stan, and eddie all to give him a grossed out look.

"oh fuck off, tozier, leave her alone." stan mumbles, digging through the cooler to pull out a beer and handing one to eddie before pulling his keys to open his own. "you jealous, stanny?" richie mutters, making kissy noises. you roll your eyes and crack a grin despite your embarrassment.

"please. y/n's all mike's, none for me. he's just as hung up on her." stan mutters with a grin and you toss a rock at him in annoyance. god, they're the worst.

"she's also a person, you know." bev says, sending a pointed look to the boys just as bill and mike walk over, towels around their shoulders.

"y/n? a p-person? not so sure." bill teases, winking at you. you stick your tongue out at him, just glad they'd only caught the tail-end of that conversation. mike sits next to you, handing you a cold beer with a warm smile.

you feel those stupid butterflies again.

"i don’t know. y/n's pretty human to me." mike mutters as he wipes his face with his hand. you grin into your knees, feeling flustered and very, very, very infatuated with the boy next to you.

richie groans with a teasing smile, "see! that's what im talking about, are you guys j-" he makes a loud grunt then as ben whacks him in the stomach.

x

later that night, two more beers and four slices (you were so hungry) of pizza later, you find yourself gazing up at the stars. being at mike's house was one of your favorite things ever. besides the most obvious reason, the one that makes you flush, you do like coming to the farm because it's far enough away from the town that the stars are clear and you can lay and stare at them for hours.

luckily, mike kept his window screen removed so he himself could go on the roof, so after everyone had fallen asleep, you'd tip toed up to his room to crawl onto the roof. you'd also tried to hide your disappointment as you opened his door and he wasn't there - he hadn't been asleep downstairs with the others so you'd assumed he'd gone to sleep in his own bed.

nonetheless, you were up here now and it was perfect - the crickets chirping and frogs croaking in the creek a few yards to the left of the house, close enough that you can here it gurgling as the water flows past the rocks you used to jump across as kids.

you sigh. when did you grow up?

a breeze ruffles your hair lightly and you can smell the remnants of smoke in the air from the fire mike and ben had lit although that was hours ago.

mike. the thought brings butterflies all over your body and you curse yourself and your anxious crush. he was just so... so soft. he was strong and soft and careful and carefree - he was his own opposite and that thought itself confused you but you don't really care because every time he speaks, you want nothing more than just to listen for ages. you sit up, eyes wide and breaths halting at your own thoughts. wait.

that's love, isn't it?

"want some company?" a voice calls, prompting you to turn back and look towards the window, your heart skipping a beat at the familiar figure.

"hi mike." you say timidly, your face somehow feeling warm against the cool summer night. perfect timing. "hey, y/n/n." he mutters as he pulls himself through the ledge and out onto the roof, plopping himself next to you. he sits close enough that you can smell him and feel him against your leg - his smell is one of mint, wildflowers and some unknown cologne that makes you feel tingly.

"i thought you were asleep." you say, hating that you feel so damn nervous around your friend. if only these feelings would go away. he chuckles, looking at you, "no, i was getting water in the kitchen and when i came back, you weren't with the others. i knew you'd be up here."

something about his words make you feel very mushy and you give him a smile, "how'd you know?" you ask softly. he shrugs, his eyes darting quickly from yours to your lips and your heart freezes.

"i know you more than you think, y/n." he says equally as soft and then you notice how close he really is, how honest he sounds. and then your eyes flick away, taking in the soft rustle of the leaves in the distance, a lone car tumbling down the road into town, the left taillight blown out. you chuckle; it looks sort of like the car richie bought sophomore year that you all used to pile into to drive into bangor.

you then think about all your memories with the losers; how every single one always circulates around a familiar smile, a certain laughter and the kindest person you've ever known.

and then mike's arm lifts to rest around you and you quickly snap out of your stare at the grassy field of his farm to look at him. he's smiling back and you realize his voice and body next to yours might possibly be the one thing bearing the weight of your mind as your head threatens to join the shining stars and clouds above you. he takes care of you in ways that neither of you notice, in ways that you'll forever be grateful for.

"i just want to say something." he says, cutting out the silence with his crisp words, looking out towards the skyline where you can just make out the main street of derry over the fields.

you lean your head slightly onto his shoulder and hum, nervous that if you tried to speak no words would come out but just the sound of your racing heartbeat.

"y/n, i really like you."

it's said with no other inflections, nothing but the raw words doing so much to overpower your brain. your heart stops beating then starts again at a thumping, resounding pace. you think you're short-circuiting.

"oh... what?" you ask shyly, feeling extremely flushed. there's no way that mike likes you back. he smiles at you and god, those butterflies are about to escape from your chest. "you're not joking, are you?" you ask, biting your lip as your eyes navigate every feature of his face as he watches you. you dont even know why you said it - it's mike you're talking to. he would never lie or joke about something like this, he would never, ever hurt you like that.

"i have never felt this way about anyone.” he says honestly, a smile still on his face and your heart thumps wildly in your chest, a smile splitting your face in two as you shake your head. "y/n/n, i would never lie to you." but you already knew that.

your heart is swelling with so much antsy happiness that you almost huff a laugh, shaking your head as your cheeks flush. he's just watching you, half-smiling as he waits for you to fully react. he knows you so well, you almost cry, but instead you speak.

"i like you too, i think i lo-" you cut yourself off and suck in a breath, realizing that you haven't taken one in over thirty seconds. "i have for a long time. do you-do you think i could..." you trail off, feeling awkward.

he smiles gently, the hand that isn't around your shoulders reaching to softly cup your jaw. you can't speak as he pulls you closer and shit, even if you could you don't want to because you would ruin this beautiful moment, the way you're breathing each other in.

you close the gap.

his lips are warm against yours and the arm around your shoulder moves to your waist, pulling you closer to him and deepening the kiss. he tastes like vanilla ice cream and you whimper slightly, your hands falling on his chest as your heart pounds in your own. he's smilling, then - you can feel it.

you laugh with happiness as you realize that you can feel him smiling against your lips and that you'll be able to feel that for a very long time. he pulls back and pecks your lips again, staring into your eyes and then you peck his lips. he laughs and it makes you beam.

his arm pulls you into his side and he lays his head on yours as you stare out into the countryside. "are you tired, mike?" you ask, concerned that you've kept him up. you feel him shake his head and you smile softly, hand lacing with his against the tiles of the roof.

"no. i think i could stay up here forever." he whispers.

//tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @toziershmozier @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @beauregard-s  @kait-tozier  @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell //

[peculiaridealist]

Trouble In Paradise (Literally)

Summary:

"I'm leaving tonight. Come with me."

"Where?"

"Somewhere that isn't here."

-OR-

Kara woke up and found herself trapped in a facility on a mysterious island. Will she be able to escape?

Chapter 1: Welcome To Paradise

Kara opened her eyes and saw that the ceiling was unfamiliar. It alarmed her in a way which made her spring up on her heels and frantically scan her surroundings. Her suspicion that she wasn't where she she was last night was confirmed when she was indeed in an unfamiliar room with no other signs of life in sight.

"Where the heck am I?" She asked to no one apparently but herself, for obvious reasons, as she walked around the room, assessing each and every corner of it. She also tried to open the door but it was locked from the outside.

Great. Just great. She thought. Didn't know locks from the outside are still a thing.

Huffing from frustration, she settled back to the bed where she had woken up and stared- or more like glared- at the door. There she tried to remember what happened last night that ended her up in there but to no avail. All she remembered was her aunt, Mike, a dinner full of arguments, and then nothing... then something clicked.

"Of course." She rolled her eyes as everything made sense. "The classic drugging while having a dinner."

It wasn't like that kind of event always occurs but, Kara couldn't think of any other good reason as to why she can't remember anything.

Groaning in frustration, she laid unceremoniously. "Just where the heck am I, really?"

"You are here for the therapy, Miss Zor-El." Her attention shifted towards the now opened door, making her sit abruptly which she immediately regretted, and there stood two men with something in their hand. One held a plate of food and one held a glass of what looked like milk but she paid no mind to what they brought.

"Therapy? What therapy? And where am I?" She asked in confusion for she didn't need a therapy. There was no reason for her to undergo a therapy because there was nothing wrong with her.

"I cannot say with regards to anything about your therapy, Miss Zor-El. All I can tell you is that you're in National City's special facility." The man- which Kara just assumed as an attendant, again, for obvious reasons- answered. She was still in National City, which was a good thing. But, still, who needs a damn therapy?

"But I don't need therapy!" Kara exclaimed as she threw her hands up in exasperation.

"Please. Just eat, Miss Zor-El." The other attendant said and flourished the plate in his hand once more.

Kara glared at the two of them. Oh, she will eat alright.

"Of course." She plastered on her sweetest smile and extended her hand, looking like she was about to reach for the plate before grabbing the first attendant's head as she quickly reached for the second one's before he could even react and knocked their heads hard on each other, making them lose their consciousness.

After she made sure that they were indeed unconscious, she bolted out of the room as fast as she could and there outside, she saw more attendants and what she could only assume to be patients. Ignoring them all, she made her way outside the facility and ran towards the very end of the road, or hill for that matter. Her actions had drawn attention to the other attendants and before she knew it, some were already chasing after her, calling her last name. She must've attracted their attention, what with her running around and all.

As she had reached the end of the hill, she was shocked to see that if she wasn't looking at where she was going at all, she could've fell already. Turns out that the end was a cliff leading to the sea.

"Miss Zor-El, please get back here!" The blonde heard an attendant bellow and she took it as a signal to get moving so she trudged her way down as quick but cautious as she can to avoid from getting all Jack and Jill... like, the part where Jack fell down and broke his crown.

When she had successfully reached the bottom, she saw what seemed to be a cave entrance which was quite hidden if you're not paying attention to your surroundings for large rocks were obscuring its view, hiding it well. Nevertheless, Kara wasn't sure what was inside the cave, but she'll take what she can get as long as it will help her from getting captured again by those pesky attendants. To her, it was better to encounter some species than to be taken back to that goddamn facility. Taking one last glance behind her for good measure- or you know, just to make sure that no one has been able to follow her all the way down to where she currently was, Kara made her way towards the cave.

"Wow..." Kara breathed out as soon as she got inside the mysterious cave.

Instead of encountering unknown species, like what she had just assumed, she was instead overwhelmed by the sight the cave had offered her. Inside was large and magnificent and it wasn't even dark. It had sufficient light entering inside, causing for the little waves that entered the cave glimmer and Kara found it to be quite beautiful. If she only had her art materials, she would just sit here and paint all day without having to bother with anyone from the outside.

No, she's not a closed off kind of a person who just likes to keep to herself. She actually has a social life but one thing that she doesn't want is to be distracted while she's working on an article or her art unless the distraction was Eliza, her foster mother, or Alex, her older sister. They were the only distraction that Kara would welcome with open arms.

Even though they were only her foster family, she was already quite contented and beyond happy to have them after her parents died in a car crash. For Kara, everything was already, if not perfect then, close to perfect as it is... until her biological aunt came.

Her mood immediately turned sour and a frown slowly formed on her face when she remembered her aunt and how she had dragged her out of the Danvers' household with no room for her or her mother and sister to protest.

"Did you know frowning can cause you a whole lot of wrinkles?"

Kara jumped at the sound of the echoing voice and whirled her attention towards its owner. She was too engrossed on her thoughts that she didn't notice that there was another person inside the cave.

There stood a pale skinned brunette whose posture was oozing with confidence and had eyes as green as an emerald which Kara had found very enticing. Her hair was cascading down past her shoulders, her jaws had the right amount of sharpness, and her lips were painted red which was a perfect contrast to her skin. All in all, the woman that was standing not far from her was gorgeous. She could also see that she was a couple of inches taller than the mysterious brunette.

"Who are you?" Was the first thing that came out of her mouth.

"I could ask you the same thing." The woman husked out and it was the huskiest voice Kara has ever heard.

"Huh..." Kara huffed out as she looked- yes, she looked and definitely not stared- at the brunette. A mysterious woman inside a mysterious cave. Kara almost chuckled at the thought. Almost. She wouldn't want the other woman to think that she had somehow lost it.

The brunette just then raised her perfectly shaped brow silently as if waiting for Kara to answer her question and the blonde immediately focused her attention back on her original task.

"Oh, uhh... I'm Kara." Stammering, the blonde introduced herself. "I-I don't know why I'm here. I don't even know how I got here. They say that I needed therapy but, I don't need one!"

"Don't we all?" The brunette asked in amusement as the corner of her lips quirked up a bit.

"Nope." Kara vigorously shook her head. "Not me, I don't. Now those guys out there are chasing me and I need to get out of here as soon as possible."

"You want an out in this island?" The brunette asked again.

"Yes!" Kara exclaimed then she slowly gave the mysterious woman a sheepish look. "Can you- uhh... Can you help me?"

There was only silence as the brunette seemed to be looking behind Kara and after a few more seconds, she answered as she offered her hand to the blonde. "Of course. Come with me."

Kara stared at the extended hand towards her as she contemplated whether she would take the woman's hand or not, doubt settling at the back of her mind. Could she really trust this woman?

"Look..." The woman grabbed her hand and Kara found it to be incredibly soft. "It's either we move now or they'll find you here so just come with me."

Seemingly not having any other choice, Kara reluctantly nodded and the brunette tugged her to the opposite direction of the cave's entrance. It wasn't long until they had found the exit and the two hurried towards the end.

When they got out, the brunette immediately trudged her way up the cliff and the blonde stared at her with utter confusion as to what the mysterious woman was doing.

The brunette seemed to have noticed that Kara wasn't following anymore and asked, not bothering to stop climbing her way up. "Are you coming or not?"

A ticket for a way out of this island which happened to be this stunningly gorgeous woman? Of course, she is. It's not like she had any interest with a woman. Any woman to be exact, but there was something in this woman that had gotten her attention. The aura of mystery perhaps? She wasn't sure. Then she remembered where she was and she immediately snapped out of her thoughts.

"Right. Sorry. Spaced out for a bit." Kara said as she followed suit.

After a few agonizing minutes, they made it up to the top and Kara swore that she was definitely going to work out the moment she gets out of here instead of just lounging around their house and eating everything inside their fridge. Having an insanely fast metabolism isn't enough for one to be fit after all. She still wasn't able to catch her breath when the brunette started to pull her again. She has no idea where they were going anymore as she was gazing down on the ground and was too focused on catching her breath.

Then out of the blue, the woman whistled, though it wasn't that sharp of a whistle, it still startled Kara. "Lost something, boys?"

Kara stopped on her tracks as her blood ran cold. She knew that the brunette wasn't addressing her because that would be weird if the woman would address her as a boy, right? Right.

She slowly- or rather, reluctantly- lifted her head just to see another two attendants in front of them.

"Thank you, Miss Luthor." Wait, what? Luthor? Why does it sound familiar? Dang it, focus, Kara!

"We'll take it from here." One of them said as he took hold of Kara's arm.

Kara stared at the woman in utter disbelief with her mouth agape and the only thing that the woman gave her was a shrug with a hint of smirk playing on her lips. She was about to say something when the attendants already dragged her away and no matter what she did, she wasn't able to escape this time. All that's left that she could possibly do was to glare daggers at the brunette until she disappeared from her view.

**

"Hey." A short woman (well, not really that short. She was just quite tall, is all) greeted her as soon as she had been escorted in her would be room.

"Uhh... Hi?" She hesitantly greeted back.

"It seems like we'll be sharing a room. I saw them carrying a luggage in here a while ago. I presume it's yours?" The woman asked with a dimpled smile then extended her hand. "I'm Maggie, by the way. Maggie Sawyer."

"Probably." Kara answered with a shrug as she shook Maggie's hand. "I'm Kara Da- Zor-El. Kara Zor-El. I take it that you're here for the so-called therapy as well?"

Maggie didn't seem to mind Kara's sudden correction of her surname which Kara was thankful for. She just snorted as she shook her head in what seemed to be in amusement. "They call it therapy. I call it brainwashing."

"Brain...washing?" Kara's brow furrowed as she tilt her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing that you should worry about." Maggie waved her hand as if to dismiss Kara's question. "It's only called brainwashing if you let yourself to be brainwashed."

"You saying that it's nothing that I should worry about makes me worry." Kara all but grumbled, making the shorter woman laugh.

"So... what's your story?" Maggie asked as soon as her laugh died down. "I mean, why are you here? You seem... I don't know... normal and fine to me."

"I know!" Kara exclaimed. "That's what I have been trying to tell them the whole time. But after my adventure earlier this morning, they sent me to the person who's running this facility. Of course, I grabbed the opportunity to ask."

"Dang. No wonder why it took you long to get here and you got sent to Reign on your first day. How was it? What happened then?" Maggie prodded, her eyes wide with anticipation and Kara found it adorable.

"Well... she was tolerable. Tolerable than any of these goddamn attendants, that is. She answered my questions. It turns out that I was here because my aunt sent me here which isn't really a surprise." Kara gave Maggie a bitter smile and shrugged. "See, she wanted me to marry this certain man for so long and I was constantly turning him down every time he asked me to marry him. No courtship or whatsoever. Just straight to the marriage- which is really weird and creepy, by the way. He's some sort of a lord in his land-"

"Lord in his land?" Maggie asked in disbelief, interrupting the blonde. "Is that even still a thing?"

"Unfortunately." Kara rolled her eyes. "Anyway, my aunt thinks that it was a good opportunity- too good, if you ask her but definitely not for me- to pass up and I was crazy for turning down someone like him for some nobody hence, me being here explains it all. To somehow get my wits together and maybe, I would be able to see how perfect of a man he is and that I would finally let the " nobody" go."

Maggie shook her head, a smile already plastered on her lips with an incredulous look on her face. "That's just crazy. They can't dictate who you want and don't want to love."

Kara gave the short woman a shrug again. "You tell me."

Maggie chuckled and Kara smiled genuinely for the first time since she had woken up in the facility. The shorter woman wasn't like anyone she had encountered in the facility. In other words, she likes Maggie enough that she was thinking that they would definitely be very good friends if she happened to stay here longer than she intended.

"What about you?" The blonde asked out of curiosity. Since they were already in this subject, why not grab the opportunity to know more about the shorter woman with regards to this. "You also seem fine so, why are you here?"

Maggie pursed her lips and had been silent for a few seconds that Kara had assumed that the shorter woman would leave her question unanswered. Maybe it was a sensitive subject for Maggie? She was about to apologize when Maggie uttered softly.

"I was sent here, courtesy of my parents... because I'm gay."

It wasn't what Kara had expected. She doesn't exactly have any idea either as to what might the possible reason why Maggie was there. Sure she had couple of guesses and reasons as to why a person has to undergo a therapy but being gay wasn't definitely on her list.

"I hope you're not homophobic because if you are, I don't think we can be together in the same room." Maggie took the lack of response and the silence from Kara the wrong way and Kara internally kicked herself for making the shorter woman worry.

"What? No! No, I'm not homophobic." Kara immediately reassured the shorter woman. "As a matter of fact, my sister is also gay."

"Really?" Maggie asked with pure interest. "And was it okay with your parents?"

The blonde nodded in response.

"Wow..." Maggie breathed out, seemingly amazed. "Must be great to have such supportive parents."

"It sure does." Kara agreed. "No offense though... I think your parents are- excuse my language- shit for putting you in here."

Maggie raised her eyebrow and Kara swears that she could definitely see amusement dancing in Maggie's eyes. "None taken but, pray do tell why?"

"Because being gay isn't like a disease that needs to be treated." Kara answered without missing a beat. "We don't deserve to be here.

"Yeah? Well, tell that to our families."

"Touché."

The reason why they're here... The way how their family thinks... Both women just laughed at the absurdity of it all. It was beyond ridiculous but Kara was thankful that she found someone who's just the same as her. At least, she won't be alone in this godforsaken island.

**

Dinner came and each and everyone, including Kara and Maggie, were gathered in some sort of a garden. There, the tables had been set and all you just need to do is to choose where to sit and both women chose the one that's quite at the back. Not too far, but not really that close to the others.

"Don't they have a proper dining hall here?" Kara asked in confusion. Could this place get any more stranger than it already is?

Maggie snorted as she shook her head. "Apparently, they don't. I've been here for a few months already and I've never been, let alone seen, their cafeteria. I guess they don't really have one."

"How long have you been here exactly?" Kara couldn't help but ask the shorter woman as confusion settles within her again.

"Let's see..." Maggie paused as she started counting then nodded once. "Right around five months, three weeks, and two days."

"That long?"

"Unfortunately so."

"Good gracious." Kara couldn't really imagine being able to stay that long. Not when it was only just her first day and she's already itching to leave this facility.

After their conversation, it didn't take long for their dinner to arrive and to say that Kara was shocked to see what their dinner was would definitely be an understatement.

"What's this?" Kara grimaced as she looked at the strip of lettuce with a couple of tomatoes and a cup of milk that didn't even reach half of the cup in disgust.

"Dinner, Miss Zor-El." The attendant that served their food answered.

"You call this a dinner? Where's the rest of it?" Kara asked incredulously. "I doubt even vegetarians would be satisfied with this."

The attendant didn't seem to have paid any mind to Kara's comment. "Please. Enjoy your meal."

He then left, leaving both women alone for themselves again.

"Enjoy? Try serving this for yourselves and see if you can enjoy it. God, I hate those people." Kara grumbled under her breath but its volume was enough for Maggie to hear and the latter threw her head back laughing.

"Sure. Go ahead and laugh at my expense."

The shorter woman laughed even more and the blonde noticed that Maggie's burst of laughter was slowly gathering quite a bit of attention from the others and Kara can't help but to feel a bit conscious so she tried to shush Maggie. The shorter woman, however, wasn't able to stop laughing and Kara just sighed and just laughed as well on Maggie's antics.

Kara then looked at their surroundings to see if they were bothering anyone and as she was scanning the premises, she spotted a familiar emerald green eyes looking at them in amusement. She locked eyes with her. Kara, again, found herself enticed and she felt lost at the brunette's eyes for a moment then irritation overpowered the enticing feeling and she was slowly starting to feel irritated especially when she remembered what the brunette had done.

"Hey, Kara, are you listening?" It was only then that Kara tore her gaze away from the mysterious brunette when she heard Maggie's voice.

"Sorry." Kara immediately apologized. "I got distracted."

"Do you get so easily distracted?" Maggie asked in a playful manner.

"Wha- No! No, I don't. It's just that something happened when I woke up. Call it a fiasco, if you want. Then there's this beautiful woman who told me she could help me escape this island. I was desperate enough to trust her and I ended up back here because-" Kara stopped herself when she saw that Maggie was giving her a shit eating grin. "What?"

"You're a rambling mess." Maggie stated.

"Yeah... I tend to ramble quite a lot whenever I'm excited, tensed or nervous." Kara admitted sheepishly. "Anyway, mind if I ask something?"

"Fire away."

"Who's that?" Kara jerked her head towards the brunette's direction.

"Who?" Maggie asked, looking for the person whom Kara was pertaining to.

"The one with the green eyes and red lips."

Maggie seemed to have found the person in question and she whirled around far too quickly to look at the blonde that Kara was afraid that the shorter woman might have a whiplash or would unintentionally snap her neck. "You don't know her?!"

"Uhh... Should I?" This added to Kara's confusion. Sure the brunette's last name rings a bell but the woman herself wasn't familiar.

Maggie was looking at her like she had grown another head. "Wow... Have you been living under a rock that you don't know who Lena Luthor is?"

"Lena... Luthor?" Kara asked, getting more and more confused. Did she really have to know who that Lena Luthor was?

"It's not that you really have to know who she is but, just so you know, she's Lex Luthor's younger sister." Maggie informed the blonde, clearly hoping that Kara would be able to piece it all already.

"Wait..." Realization dawned on Kara's face. That's why the last name was familiar. "The notorious criminal who went crazy and had blown up one of National City's high rising company Lex Luthor?"

Maggie nodded, looking pleased that Kara was able to at least know who Lex was. "The one and only."

"That's her?" Kara asked incredulously. "Lex's infamous sister?"

"Ding, ding, ding." Maggie said in a singsong voice.

"Huh..." Kara huffed out. "Now that makes sense."

"What does?" Maggie queried.

"The last name." Kara answered and her gaze landed back on the subject of their topic and she saw herself looking back at the same emerald green orbs. Turns out that the brunette was already looking at her before Kara had even looked at Lena.

She suddenly felt conscious and tore her gaze away from the brunette.

"Excuse me. I'll just go to the comfort room." Maggie nodded as Kara excused herself and made her way towards the comfort room.

When she got into the said room, she went for the sink and washed her hands as she looked at herself in the mirror. With everything that has happened, she definitely didn't have the time to sit and fix herself. Not when after she had just taken a bath, she and Maggie were both whisked away for dinner.

"I look like shit." The blonde muttered and sighed.

"Such language from a pretty woman."

Kara's breath hitched in her throat and her heart skipped a beat when she heard the familiar husky voice. She doesn't know why that was her initial reaction but maybe it was just from the shock. She thought she was alone and heard no one enter after all. Right, that must be the reason why... or that's what she believed. She then slowly turned around to see the brunette, that she now had come to know the name which was Lena, standing on the doorway. Kara almost forgot how beautiful the brunette was up close and her beauty also almost made Kara forget what she did earlier that morning. But, that was just it...

Almost.

"What do you want?" Kara asked, irritation lacing her voice.

Lena looked like she was unperturbed with Kara's tone. It somehow even made her more amused, adding fuel to the fire that just so happened to be the blonde's irritation. "Whoa there, hot head. Still mad about this morning?"

Kara glared at Lena. "You think?!"

This only made the brunette laugh as she made her way towards the blonde, stopping just a few feet away from Kara's reach. "So you are still mad."

"Mad?" Kara asked again, trying to keep her voice from rising. The last thing that she would want is to gain attention from the attendants outside and she definitely doesn't want to deal with them right now. "Try infuriated and beyond pissed. I trusted you!"

"I know, I know." Lena raised her hands in surrender. "That's why I'm here. To apologize."

Kara rolled her eyes. "Well, apology most definitely not accepted so excuse me, you're blocking the way. I'm getting out of here."

The blonde brushed past the brunette but then Lena held Kara's arm firmly but not that tight. Just enough to stop the blonde from walking out. "Look, they would still find you either way so it was either I turn you over to them or I'll risk having them find our cave and I can't have them find our spot so I have to resort to the former."

"Our cave?" Kara raised her brow at Lena's choice of words.

"Of course, darling. Our cave. Both you and I are the only people who knows about that cave." Lena explained. "And before you ask how I would know, it's because I've been there as often as I could and I've never seen anyone coming there, let alone going in that direction... until you. Consider it as a safe haven from these bastards."

Kara slightly shook her head. "As much as I want to, I don't think I can trust you ever again. Not after what you did."

"That's understandable." Lena let out a humorless laugh. "It's not like I'm not used to people not trusting me. After all, I am a Luthor."

Kara shook her head. "I really couldn't care any less about which family you came from. This is about what you did."

"Then let me make it up to you."

"What do you mean?" The blonde's brows furrowed.

"I really do know a way out of here. But, in some odd reason, I can't seem to pull it off." Lena uttered softly like she was afraid that someone might hear her.

"Y-you... You do?" Hearing that there was really a way out of the island, hope was ignited within Kara but then it was immediately snuffed out when it was the very same reason why she was dragged back in the facility by the very same woman that was standing right in front of her with the very same promise she had made.

The blonde then took Lena's hand off her arm. "You're just messing with me."

Lena heaved a sigh. "I'm not. I'll prove to you that everything I'm saying is true."

"And how would you do that?"

Lena's emerald green eyes gazed right into her sapphire blue ones and Kara swore that she could feel the intensity of the brunette's gaze. "Meet me at midnight. Same place where we met. Don't let anyone see or catch you sneaking out. Can you do that?"

Before Kara could stop herself, she was already nodding her head as a response. Wait, what?

"Also... please don't believe anything they say about me." Lena's voice was small and it stirred something inside Kara. "I don't even talk to my mother or my brother even before all of this anymore."

"Don't worry... I won't." She didn't know why but she felt the need to reassure the brunette. "I believe everyone should be judged by their own merits."

"Thank you." Lena then gave Kara a small smile then slowly leaned in close to the blonde's ear and whispered, giving goosebumps and sending chills down Kara's spine as Lena's warm breath had hit her skin, the brunette's musky scent- which reminded Kara of vanilla or more like marshmallows- invading her senses. "See you there."

The brunette cupped one of Kara's cheeks and gave a tender kiss her on the other side before turning around to leave but before Lena could even open the door, Kara stopped her.

"Wait!"

Lena paused in her tracks and turned around to face the blonde.

"How do you know?" Kara asked, quite hesitant. "I- uhh... I mean, about how to escape this place."

"You know, Kara," Lena smiled and made her way towards the blonde again, reaching for the sapphire gem necklace that Kara was wearing. She ran her thumb shortly on the said gem before letting go of it. "If you want something, there is always a way to get what you want..."

She then tapped the blonde below her chin with her forefinger and whispered. "... Always."

Lena once again turned on her heels and this time, she left a dumbfounded and tomato looking Kara alone.

Kara's heart was beating erratically and she was breathing fast like she had just finished a marathon. She couldn't explain what was currently happening to her but she was sure that Lena was the reason why.

"What the heck just happened?" Kara's question was more like directed to herself as her hand hovered her cheek where Lena's lips landed just a few minutes ago.

She turned towards the sink again and splashed some water on her heated face in hopes of cooling it down. After she had gathered her wits and had let herself cool down, she headed back to their table where Maggie was waiting.

"Oh, there you are." Maggie said after she finished her drink and placed her cup down. "What took you so long?"

"Umm... Call of nature?" Kara lied and Maggie gave her a look that she couldn't quite tell and it made the blonde queasy so she took her own cup and drank its contents just so that her attention will be focused elsewhere until Maggie asked her something that made her choke and almost spit her drink.

"You do know that being a detective is my profession, right?"

The shorter woman then rubbed a coughing Kara's back as she chuckled. "Oops... I guess I forgot to mention that one."

"Yeah..." Kara said as she had managed to stop her coughing fit. "You sure did."

"It honestly is fine if you won't tell me though. I totally respect that."

Kara felt bad for lying at the shorter woman. She had been the only person that she had ever had a proper conversation with and one of the people that even bothered to talk to her after all. Well, Kara doesn't really like to lie in general. It nags on her conscience and she doesn't like that feeling. No one deserves to be lied to and that's what she strongly believes as a journalist or even just as a person.

"Sorry..." Kara mumbled softly.

Maggie slightly cocked her head to the side. "What for?"

"For lying."

The shorter woman snorted. "Nah, it's fine. Everyone is entitled to have their own secrets."

"I don't like secrets though." Kara played at the hem of her shirt, still mumbling softly that was only enough for Maggie to hear. "I lied because I was with Lena."

Maggie raised her brow at this and she gave Kara a look of disbelief. "You're with the Luthor even after what her family has done?"

"See? That's the reason why I even bothered lying." Kara huffed in exasperation. "You're a detective, Maggie. You, of all people, should know that one shouldn't judge someone without proper investigation. I mean, have you even really talked to her? Because if you haven't, you clearly should."

Maggie silently shook her head and was rendered silent at everything Kara had said. The blonde on the other hand didn't know where her overprotectiveness for the brunette came from. She didn't really expect to be defending Lena after what the brunette had done to her. Then, at the back of her mind, she thought that Lena had the audacity to apologize so it counts, right? Bad people don't know what an apology is so Lena isn't one of them.

"Miss Zor-El. Miss Sawyer." An attendant called out for their attention. "It's time for bed. Please head to your respective room."

"What are we, twelve?" Kara mumbled under her breath as she rolled her eyes. She then stood up and curtsied mockingly at the attendant. "Yes, your majesty."

Maggie covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she tried to stifle her laughter at Kara's antics and before she knew it, Kara was already dragging her towards their room.

When they had reached their room, Kara immediately slumped on her bed unceremoniously. The day took its toll on her and she was getting really sleepy. Maggie seemed to be turning in as well because she already turned the lights off.

"Sorry for earlier." She heard Maggie mumble sleepily. "You were right... in all accounts."

"It's fine. Don't worry." Kara mumbled in the same manner.

"Are we good?"

"Mhm."

"That's a relief." Kara heard Maggie sigh and it made her chuckle. "Good night, Kara."

"Good night, Mags." Kara told Maggie back and she had let herself be lulled to sleep, completely forgetting about her discussion- which was kind of an agreement, really- earlier with a certain green eyed brunette.

[prorevenge]

Got an asshole fired and helped a co-worker get a job they wanted.

About 20 years ago, I got a job at a warehouse/ delivery place, pulling and delivering windshields. When I started, there were 6 drivers - 1 old white guy who'd been there since humanity existed, 4 young black guys, and me (white female). I mention this only because, unfortunately, it does become important later. There were also 4-5 people in the office running sales/ admin, including the only other female at the company. She'd wanted a delivery job, but had been told "that's not a woman's job" so was stuck in the office. The guy who hired me made a big deal about how he'd stuck his neck out for me, and was getting crap from his buddies for hiring a woman. There was some undertone about equal opportunity, but I've never counted on that and made sure I went above and beyond.

At the time, it was a locally-owned place, and rules were not really standardized about most things. In theory, each driver was supposed to take orders for the next route scheduled, load up the next available truck, and head out. In reality, there was an unofficial pecking order, and each driver had "their" route/s and truck. As the new guy, I got the less-than-great pickup truck with an open-air rack and various problems; most of the other trucks were box trucks (think small moving trucks) so the windshields wouldn't get wet as they were delivered, and the driver could rearrange things inside the truck if the route got switched around for whatever reason. I also got the furthest-away route with the latest delivery times, so I usually got stuck in rush hour on the way back. I know the rules, though, so I shut my mouth, sucked it up, and waited for turnover to make me not-the-new guy and get a better truck/ route.

Surprisingly, turnover didn't happen. There were the usual problems with 2 of the workers not pulling their weight, but... no one ever got fired. The worst offender was, of course, the guy at the top of the unofficial pecking order, we'll call him Mike. Dude was huge - easily a foot taller than me (I'm not short), I'm pretty sure all he did was work and workout, and he constantly bragged about doing steroids to get bigger. He would only take the shortest run with the fewest deliveries and spend the rest of the time talking sh!t with the other drivers or just randomly vanishing. A couple months after I started, I got some big orders for my routes all in a row, and asked for help so I could gather everything, load up, and head out on time. This was not uncommon - there were several machines used for pulling the stock, so if you finished your orders early, you helped others who were behind. Not Mike, though - you'd think I'd asked him to skin a puppy. Got in my face, yelling about how dare I ask him to do anything, I'm just the new guy, get out of here and don't let him see me again, etc., you get the picture. One of the other guys I'd become friends with pulled me away and helped me get loaded up and out the door, but that never really sat right with me. Mike had never been friendly to me, but after that day, he'd go out of his way to be an ass - nothing big, but enough to seriously irritate me and intimidate the other guys to not talk to me when he was around.

A little while later, I mentioned the outburst to the lady in the office, and she told me why nothing would ever be done about Mike or anyone else. Apparently the personnel guy, we'll call him Tony, had gotten fired from his previous job over a complaint about racism. He'd used the phrase "Black Friday" to refer to, well, Black Friday: the day after Thanksgiving, when sales are supposed to get companies back in the black/ financially solvent. Apparently one of his employees claimed he used it as a racist remark, it got taken to court and somehow, Tony was found guilty and fired. Basically, that meant that he couldn't take any actions against a black worker ever again, because he's got a prior judgement against him. The drivers knew that, and Mike (and one other but he's not important here) absolutely used it to do the bare minimum required to stay employed. That didn't sit right with me either, but I was just a driver, and the new guy, so nothing I could do about it.

Until...

A couple months later, the owner did some necessary maintenance around the place, and one of the things done was getting rid of "my" old truck and buying a new-er one that was half-enclosed/ half open-air racks. The owner apparently said it should go to "whoever had driven the old truck" as an apology for not having heat/ ac in the old one, but I'm not super picky. Offered it to the old guy, because seniority, but he turned it down in favor of "his" truck that he was used to and was fully enclosed. I offered it to the two black guys who actually did their jobs and were pretty decent to me (when Mike wasn't around), but same thing - they wanted their own, enclosed trucks. Ok, cool. Newish truck for me! Spent the first day getting used to it, and stayed late off the clock getting it sparkling clean, inside and out. The only thing it lacked was the new car smell, everything else was polished, cleaned, buffed, shined, etc.

Well, apparently, the fact that I didn't bow and scrape to Mike pissed him off even more, and seeing the "new" truck out back all shiny and pristine was too much to handle. He was already out on a run when I came in the next day, so I loaded up and headed out as per usual. Got back about 5 minutes before his second run of the day was supposed to leave and he came storming out before I could even get out of the truck. Screaming profanity, "how dare you take my truck, get tf out of that thing, get your sh!t out, that's my truck, I'm gonna take it 'cause it looks good and I deserves it, you're just a bitch, you don't deserve anything nice, I'm gonna f**k you up," etc etc.

Side note: I don't tolerate bullies at all, and I don't back down easily. I was always the little kid, growing up, and I learned just how far I could push it, mouthing off and calmly standing up to kids bigger than me because "oh, you're so tough? You're gonna pick on a little girl?" As I grew up, I tended to work in "men's jobs," so I was used to taking some sh!t but also drawing a line firmly in the sand and defending it. I am occasionally surprised I haven't gotten decked a time or two, but I've gotten pretty good at reading a situation.

Back to the story: I'm sitting in the newish truck with Mike standing outside the door screaming profanity and threats at me. For all the sh!t that Mike talked, though, I got the feeling he was used to getting his way without actual violence. I calmly opened the door and got out, but left my personal belongings in the truck and locked the door behind me. He was doing his damnedest to intimidate me, getting up in my space, finger in my face, personal threats, etc. I started walking toward the office, which was all the way on the opposite end of the warehouse, and he followed me the whole way, still screaming, threats getting worse and worse, apparently ignorant to the fact that literally every single employee had stopped what they were doing and was watching us. I walked into the office and just stood there for about 4-5 minutes, staring at the owner while Mike just kept going off. He finally realized I wasn't reacting to him and ran out of steam, and you could see the realization of where he was register on his face, but he glanced over at Tony and smirked, probably figuring he was still untouchable.

In the silence that followed, I calmly said to the owner, "You have four black guys working in the warehouse." He nodded. "And you have one woman working out there." He nodded again, and I saw the light come on. Without looking at anyone else, I said, "I do not want to pull the gender card here, but if something is not done about this situation, I will have to take steps to ensure my safety." I grabbed the tickets for my next run, turned around, and walked back to the warehouse to start pulling the orders.

I'm not really sure what happened next, because all the other guys had mysteriously gotten loaded and left on their runs in record time, and I followed not long after. When I got back, Mike was no longer there, and one of the other guys was training the admin lady to be a new driver. Over the next week, I got quiet "thank you"s from her, Tony, and the other drivers who actually did work. The other slacker guy got fired a while later for possession with intent to distribute, I believe. I left about a year later to drive bigger trucks, but by then we had a pretty solid crew of drivers who helped each other out.

TL;DR: I worked as a warehouse/ delivery person with 4 black guys and an HR guy who'd been fired as a racist for using the phrase "Black Friday," so he couldn't take any action without being accused of racism again. One of the black drivers who thought he ruled the place didn't like that I got a newish delivery truck that no one else wanted, screamed and threatened me as I walked into the office so everyone could see; pointed out there were 4 black drivers and one female. Guy was fired.

​

Sorry, that was WAY longer than I thought it'd be when I remembered it. Let me know if anything's unclear or this isn't where it belongs.

(source) story by (/u/Manarelle)

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Will Byers & Growing Up Gay in the Pre-Internet Era

This is a tough one, and I really wanted to make sure I did it justice. Some background on my qualifications to write this: I hold a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a Master’s degree in Counseling, I did undergraduate and master’s level research on sexual orientation, and I personally identify as bisexual. This does not make me the ultimate authority on this topic, of course, but I like to think I have a bit more insight than the average person.

Season 3 of Stranger Things resulted in the mainstream audience asking a question that many of us had already been trying to answer: Is Will Byers gay? I’m not going to pretend that I somehow know the answer to that question, but I do believe the evidence points to yes. The most popular alternate interpretation of his character is that he is simply not as mature as his friends, and so he’s just not interested in girls yet. Here, I intend to examine what it would be like to grow up gay in the 1980s, before the internet and other means to access the larger LGBT community, and what that could mean for our little cleric.

Development of sexual orientation, or, at least, a minority sexual orientation, generally involves an on-going process that is sometimes seen as a series of steps. It begins with the recognition of a same-sex attraction. This has been reported to occur as early as age 9 in males. The following progression can be dependent on the schema, or a sort of cognitive framework, that someone has set up for homosexuality. If we look at Will, he is definitely at the age where he likely would have noticed a same-sex attraction. Based on the bullying, and the general climate of the 80s, his schema for homosexuality would be incredibly negative. This is not something he would want to acknowledge. This may be why the same research mentioned above has most males not self-identifying as gay until around age 16 despite having a same-sex attraction at 9.

Will would not have any reason to want to be gay. He has no access to any resources that would help him counter the schema that his dad, Troy, and the general attitude towards gays of the time would have constructed for him. He has no community or peers to give him support, and he doesn’t have the internet to allow him to see how not alone he really is. He may have been able to acknowledge an attraction for Mike (or others), but he would not ascribe that to his being gay. Such feelings could be rationalized as friendship, admiration, or even envy. 

This is a difficult road to walk when your peers are taking notice of the opposite sex. It can become very conspicuous, and one can only imagine that the taunting Will receives would only have gotten worse. We don’t get to see any of this though, as it is now summer. Some people theorize that Will isn’t ready to grow up, and I do agree, but for another reason: Will is scared.

Assuming he is gay, Will has caught on that something isn’t quite right with him by now. He sees his friends obsessed with girls, but it’s something he doesn’t share. He has nothing against girls, and doesn’t mind Dustin and Lucas being interested in them, but he has no interest in them himself. He also doesn’t like that Mike does. He may not understand why yet. These feelings would be conflicting heavily with his internal schemas, resulting in a cognitive dissonance. His feelings and what he believes to be normal are in conflict.

When Mike yells that it’s not his fault Will doesn’t like girls, it may well be the first time he’s ever been made to consciously confront those feelings. The insults of his asshole father and the school bullies he can ignore, but he can’t ignore Mike. Mike may or may not have meant it that way, and Mike may or may not suspect that Will really is different. Regardless, Will would be stunned and afraid at being forced into acknowledging the possibility, and this is exactly how he is shown to react to that statement. He was happy to stick with his childhood activities, because all of that is from a time when it didn’t matter if he liked girls or not. He can play D&D all day, every day, and never have to worry about something like girls. 

It’s reasonable to conclude that Will doesn’t want to grow up because that means facing something he doesn’t want to. This monster could possibly scare him more than the Upside Down. Now that he’s made to confront it, he lashes out at everything he found refuge in. He can’t hide in Castle Byers, which represents his childhood, anymore. He berates himself for thinking he could hide in his childhood forever. He hears Mike narrating a campaign as he looks around, and it cuts him to the core that his best friend, and perhaps his everything, is actually the source of his anguish. He’s realizing, at least on a basic level, just how important Mike really is to him, how important he wants to be to Mike, and how he can’t go back to when they could be that for each other.

This is why he wants nothing to do with D&D unless Mike is involved. It’s not possible for him to find another party. He’s not even fully ready to consider himself gay yet, but he’s getting there. He’s telling Mike, in the only way he dares, that Mike is it for him. 

This is my take anyway. I don’t know where Season 4 will take us. It may just give us even more subtext that isn’t acted on.

[shewantedtobeasecretgirl]

The Backstage Pass (Out)

Hey everyone... this is still not an update of Do You Wanna Dance? but another pathetic attempt of me to provide you with PJ-related reading material... Sssooo, there was this post of @gardenofstoney... and I’ve always taken tags verry seriously. I felt addressed since the situation she described sounded absolutely like a perfect fanfic material so I ended up playing with the idea. One thing led to another and a Stone Gossard one-shot happened, which I hereby share with you (with her and @mookiebaelock’s consent). Disclaimer: may contain traces of Jeff Ament!

Ps. I solemnly swear I get Judy out of the shower soon.

„Are you sure you don’t want to move towards the side of the stage? These Vedder-fanatics seem pretty dangerous, I’m not sure I want to be here when they go wild…” Mel asked fidgeting with the setups of her professional camera.

“No, I’m pretty sure I’m fine here…” Maggie answered leaning her forehead against her arms that were resting on the barrier. She was dog-tired; she and her best friend, Mel were cueing the whole day to get there at the show of their favorite band, Pearl Jam. Actually, Pearl Jam was their second favorite band but it was the rock group that brought them together. They saw each other’s introduction in the “Pen Pal Wanted” column of Footsteps, the band’s fanzine and the rest was history... And finally, they were there, standing at their precious front row places, waiting for the show to begin…

They agreed on standing in front of the center of the stage since they both had different preferences… Mel was dying to make close shots of her bassist crush (and maybe steal a few smiles and glances from him), while Maggie was interested in the other side of the stage… to be more accurate, in the person who regularly ruled it. Stone Gossard. The absent-minded, aloof alien who played the rhythm guitar parts and who, unfortunately, wasn’t the most responsive member of the band. He was said to be a sarcastic, hilarious and nice guy but at shows he just… didn’t give a shit about the crowd. He was usually absorbed in the songs, following the rhythm with his entire body, marching to the beat or just bobbing his head… but that was all. No interaction, no communication, just the chords. If Maggie had been alone there, she would have picked his side and stayed there as if she had been pinned to the ground… but Mel wanted to stand near Jeff so they made a compromise. Of course, Mel tried every kind of dirty trick to lure her closer to Mike’s and Jeff’s territory and Maggie begged desperately with her irresistible sad puppy face to move in the other direction, after all, if the mountain won't come to Muhammad… and Jeff would bounce around, anyways, she argued. But neither of them could convince the other one so they were stuck in front of the place of Eddie Vedder and they knew they would have to fight hard to be able to keep their position.

“You will defend me, I know.” Maggie cuddled to her friend, letting herself be pulled in a bear hug. She was short and slim, the top of her head barely reached the level of the tall Mel’s chin, that’s why they often joked about themselves being two dogs coming from different species but being allies and best friends forever.

“I’ll defend you just… not now, oh my god, ohmygod, they’re here, that’s him!!!” Mel suddenly let her go frantically taking one picture after another of her main target.

“Okay, I can’t win against Jeff Ament…” Maggie shook her head with a forgiving smile only to discover the object of her admiration appearing on the other side of the stage, walking around with a deadpan on his face. She couldn’t help chuckling when she noticed he was wearing a black socks-dress shoes combo... with light brown shorts. She’d already got used to these weird testimonies of his terrible fashion sense but he always managed to surprise her with a newer unacceptable outfit.

When the singer finally showed up too, the crowd moved forward, pressing the girls against the barrier… and from that moment on, they only had some rest during the slower songs. Not that they wanted to complain, they were singing along the lyrics, screaming, laughing, crying or just squeezing each other’s hand making sure they were not dreaming, they were finally together, having the time of their life, really living their favorite songs. Mel was overly contented with seeing the bass player’s manly moves in the tight tank top he was wearing and the passionate solos and dazed-off moments of Mike pleased both of them too, even if they were within the spitting range of Ed. But as time went by, they both started feeling the depressing thought that this would be over soon, even if they tried to fight against it by bouncing and screaming twice as intensely as before…

When Stone started playing the opening chords of State of Love and Trust, the crowd went completely nuts and Maggie had to tighten her grip not to be drifted… the pressure behind her eased for a second but at once, she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head and lost the touch with the outside world…

***

Mhmmmm… what are these bright lights? I must have died and got in that shining corridor about which people who experienced clinical death always tell…

“Jesus, I go blind…” I mumble… or am I just hearing my own thoughts? Shit, this splitting headache, I’m definitely alive, I must have fallen asleep after taking in my migraine pill.

“Do you prefer low light?” a nasal male voice asks and as I look around, I find myself lying on a couch but I’m not in my own apartment, I don’t know this place. Oh, so I’m in a dream, nice, let’s see where it’s going…

“Yes, please!” I groan covering my eyes.

“Clouds roll by… sorry, bad joke, here, is it better his way?”

I take away my hand from my eyes and let them adjust to the pleasant half-light provided probably by a standing lamp somewhere out of my sight. When did I learn how to change the setting of my dreams? Cool… The owner of the voice takes place opposite me only to make me realize, I’m in a Stone dream, moreover, this time it’s a new one.

“Are you okay?” he’s checking me with the inquiring but still expressionless stare of a toad.

“More or less…” I mumble helplessly. Interesting, I’ve never had such a vivid dream about him, it’s somehow different, like I was in charge, I’ve never felt like this before while dreaming… Familiar melodies provide the musical accompaniment, I have to listen for a few bars until I recognize Yellow Ledbetter… but he’s here… and the music comes from…?

“Are we… at a show?” I ask suspiciously, I’m afraid that despite the realistic surrounding, it’ll turn into an incoherent screenplay written by my subconscious.

“Yes, we are…”

“But how come you’re not playing? You should be on the stage with the others…”

“I don’t feel like playing… I mean in that song, I have basically not much to do, I strum the same chords as Mike, it’s boring. At sound checks, sometimes I beg until I can play the drum parts, I’m a desperate drummer but I love it. But the rhythm guitar part is just… nah. Plus, I had to pee, anyways.”

“Fair enough.” I snicker. He’s such an awkward dork, even in my dreams. “Well, that happens if a musician is too busy with drinking beer at gigs instead of playing”.

“Excuse me?” he startles offended. That’s my favorite thing in dreaming, I can do and say what I’d never dare in real life.

“Do you think we don’t notice when you’re just fudging, walking around with the guitar and use the change of amplifier setups as an excuse to take a few sip of your booze? That doesn’t really count as musical contribution.”

“Ugh, busted. I try not to drink before the show though. Right as soon as I get onstage I start drinking. But come on, I never belch out of key, what’s this if not musical humility?”

I snort shaking my head and keep grinning from ear to ear. If he’s such a hilariously funny guy in my fantasy, how adorable he can be in the reality… I know he used to be an annoying, sarcastic little shit but when PJ got really successful, he mellowed down and made himself to the main target of his irony… The mixture of this down-to-earth humbleness and calm confidence was one of the main reasons why he became my favorite member in the band; in the band that only consists of great, relatable people, by the way.

Maybe I should use the occasion to have a chitchat with him, I could ask him questions about stuff I’ve always wanted to know… even if the answers are only the products of my mind…

“Do you see the world in yellow?”

Okay, maybe that’s not the best start but the colored lenses of his spectacles somehow distracted me and it just slipped out. He reacts with that short, amused eyebrow twitch I love… good job, Maggie.

“It’s a good question! It’s funny, nobody asked that before… but to answer it, I do, it’s like being trapped in that moment of sunset when everything is glowing in that golden light… but to be less poetic, it makes everyone look as if they were Lego figures, they have yellow head, y’know…”

The mentioning of my favorite toy brings back old memories about the times when I was building my own town with eclectic houses that served as the scene of the made-up action stories crafted by my cousin and me.

“I you were a Lego figure, you’d be a bad boy.” I remark with a timid smile and try to ignore the fact that my cheeks are in flames.

“Only if I were a Lego figure? That’s offensive. I was the member of the gang Newton Street Boys. We were the most dangerous guys on whole Capitol Hill, we terrorized the district by taking protection rackets from kindergarten pupils. They were scared to death when we showed up riding our bikes, I liked the banana-seat ones with the high handlebars - maybe a card in the wheel could have been part of it.” he chuckles playfully. “Anyway, why a bad boy?”

“It’s because of the scruff.” I giggle and reach out to pinch his neck but he leans away.

“Please don’t touch me.” he grunts.

Hey, brain, we had an agreement: if I behave decently enough in real life, you won’t throw any obstacles in the way of my naughty tendencies at nights. So if I want to touch Stone’s perfect neck, I’m gonna to do it. Period.

“I said no!!!” he repeats this time angrier when my fingers approach his skin again. What the hell???

“Sorry. I… I just wanted to say that there were those bearded figures… and you could get them mostly from the pirate or the police station series.”

“You mean they had an attachable Lego beard?” he inquires confused and excited at the same time; I’m sure he’s already forgotten the embarrassing intermezzo and is now desperately trying to recall the look of the little yellow dudes.

“Haha, no, it was just painted on their face. There was the moustache, the regular beard and the scruff that basically meant black dots on their face. And the scruffy guys always played the role of the bad boys in my stories. You know, the bank robber, the fleeing prisoner…”

“… the fucked-up musician… we should definitely have a Lego party once!”

“We should…” I repeat and we’re smiling silently at each other for a few seconds… I clear my throat and swallow hard since my mouth got completely dry, shit, it must be that damn gum-shield I have to wear at nights to prevent myself from gnashing.

“You want some water?” he asks walking to a fridge standing at the door.

“Fuck, yes, I’m dying of thirst.” I moan and I mean it.

“Here.” he hands a small bottle to me while he opens a beer can. I rather don’t make any remarks, the show is over, after all… But now that I think into it, maybe the other band members will show up too… I can’t wait!

I lower my head and press the ice cold bottle against my forehead. It feels incredibly good, that blinding pain is still pulsing in my head. As I direct my gaze onto the ground, I can’t help laughing again when I spot his dress shoes and the black socks tucked into them. The hem rolled down around his left ankle making the socks look like they were unmatched.

However thirsty I am, I can only take small sips since I’m already snorting at the next part of this weird vision.

“Anyway… before the others would arrive, there’s one thing we have to discuss.” I begin when I finally manage to force my facial muscles into a serious expression.

“Something that stays between us? Like a dirty little secret?” his face lights up with a boyish smile.

“Kind of, if your socks are dirty…” I roll my eyes. “It’s the footwear.”

“Yours or mine?”

“Of course yours, mine is normal. Matching boots, a totally adequate choice for a rock concert. But yours is just… criminal.”

“Don’t be rude with my shoes, they look good and they are comfy as fuck!” he circles with his feet comically.

“They do but man, look in that mirror!” I point at his reflection in the mirror hanging on the opposite wall. “You look like the mixture of an elementary school boy and a bachelor dressed by his mother. Shorts with dress shoes? How? Why? It’s an obvious no-no!” I scream.

“I have only these ones, sneakers and flip flops with me, which doesn’t leave much variation.” he shrugs briefly.

“You should have chosen the sneakers… as for the “f” word, I’m not even willing to pronounce it.”

“I always wore hiking boots in the earlier times, they were the most comfortable choice but they weren’t compatible with the heat on stage. And then, I got introduced in the magical world of orthopedic sandals but the band somehow vetoed them, I don’t really understand why... I was only allowed to wear them between shows and at soundchecks but at gigs, I had to wear the boots… Once, before a show, maybe in Atlanta, I can’t remember exactly, the sole of my boot separated so I could only wear my sandals… the guys freaked out about my velvet shorts-sweatpants-white socks-sandals outfit and obliged me to wear Jeff’s shoes during the show.” he recalls but I can barely listen to him, his hand talk and the fidgeting alien fingers are definitely more appealing than the image of Birkenstocks worn with socks.

As my eyes are glued to him, I involuntarily start playing with my hair but my fingers land in something sticky. I check them and glance at him helplessly, as if he could help me find out why blood is the next nonsense feature in this scene.

“Fuck, why didn’t you tell me earlier that you’re bleeding?” he shouts and rushes to the fridge.

“Because I didn’t know…” I mutter and can’t form further coherent sentences since he steps back to me with an ice bag and presses it to the back of my head… and he keeps standing opposite me with his arms laced around my neck. I’m desperately trying to look at the ceiling, the ground and the four walls at the same time, anywhere but him…

“This is too embarrassing, I want this to finally end… this is terrible.” I whisper in pain, fixing my gaze on the ugly shoes and working on calming down my hyperventilation with all my nerves.

“Hey, I just wanted to help! Just for the record, we don’t often let passed-out fans in the backstage, you were in bad shape and…”

“No, I mean, thanks and all but this dream… it’s going nowhere, it was funny but you entering into my personal space creates a tension that needs resolution, like a hug or a kiss or anything, this makes just no sense!” I blurt out, basically arguing with myself, the director of the movie.

“What? That doctor could finally arrive, you must have a concussion!” he gently tries to push me back onto to the couch but I shake his hands off me.

“What doctor... wait… the pain… the blood… is this… real?” I flail still hoping he doesn’t exist and suddenly disappears or turns into my real crush or Edge from U2 or whatever.

“You got hit with by a half-empty beer can and you passed out so the security personnel fished you out of the crowd. Since I came back anyway, I suggested that they should lay you down here until they get a doctor. You got a backstage pass by passing out. A backstage pass out.” he tries to ease he situation with a pun but I’m not really in the mood.

“No… the scruff… the shoes… the ki… I can’t believe I said all this bullshit, this is worse than a nightmare…” I bury my face into my palms completely mortified and stumble back towards the couch dizzily. Suddenly, I hear a familiar voice… Mel!!!

***

“I’m not going to repeat this again, my best friend is in that room so if you won’t let me in immediately, I’m going to fuckin’ sue you!!!” Mel pointed with her index finger outraged at the huge guy standing in front of the door of the dressing room. Actually, instead of suing, she wanted to headbutt him in the chest but she knew it would feel like running into a concrete wall. She’d already been arguing with him for like fifteen minutes but the guy was just standing there with folded arms, stoically bearing the threats and the various spells casted on him by the furious girl.

“Hey, Ernie, I think you can let her in, her friend has just woken up, it’d be better if she’s with her when the doctor arrives…” a top of a head with ruffled hair peeked out of the door. The security guard obeyed and silently stepped aside.

“Maggie!!!” Mel shouted and tossed the young man in the door away to get a free way to her friend. “I was so worried about you!!!” she captured her into a rib-breaking hug.

“I’m… I’m okay… Stone took care of me…” Maggie mumbled against Mel’s chest trying to point at the guitarist under her friend’s arm.

“Stone???” Mel screamed making both of them turn around without breaking the hug.

“Yup.” the guitarist waved clumsily with one hand at her, digging his other hand deeply in his pocket.

Maggie managed to tiptoe enough to rest her head on her friend’s shoulder, which allowed her to saw the door opening… only to recognize the other members of the band arriving back from the stage. The small group was guided by Jeff who stopped at the door exchanging a surprised look with the embarrassed guitarist standing in the room.

Maggie started silently shaking of laughter because she could already imagine what’d happen next…

“Uhm… Mel… I’m choking… please let me go…” she acted patting her friend’s back a few times. “I think you should turn back… slowly…” she recommended biting her lips to hide her amusement when she pulled away to see the girl’s reaction.

“Why… what…?” Mel looked back over her shoulder and… due to the bassist’s excellent reflexes, she didn’t land on the ground but in his arms. Jeff stared shocked alternately at the unconscious girl and the other ones, begging for help with his eyes.

“Jesus, not again… “Stone sighed facepalming.” She’s yours, I’m out.”

[popculturebuffet]

Reviews: The Stand: Captain Trips

Halloween Havoc rambles on!  I decided to read a Stephen King Classic via it’s comic book adaptation from Marvel Knights 4 and Afterlife with Archie scribe and future Riverdale showrunner Roberto Aguirre-Sarcasa. A deadly plauge sweeps across the US that kills in it’s wake while the goverment tries to cover it up. Because that’s not at all terrifingly close to home.  But as this pandemic creeps around the US we meet 5 dispearte people with a part to play in what the world becomes after the end: Stu, a hard nosed man who finds himself imprisoned by the government since he was next to patient zero for the outbreak and lived. Frannie, a young woman who finds herself pregnant and dealing with her disaproving mother and the babie’s less than ideal dad. Larry, a would be one hit wonder whose come home to new york to dry out and to let Stephen King go on for several pages about how much he fucking hates new york, because that was important. Nick, a deaf and mute teen drifter who finds himself subbing for a kind sherieff who sadly got the disease. And Lloyd, a dumb criminal who finds himself in jail after a robbery gone bad. And waiting in their dreams and the shadows for his acendency, the walking dude, Randall Flagg, evil itself. Waiting paitently for the soon dawning time of his ascendency. Spoilers and the review itself under the cut. 

So yeah i’m back to doing some comics reviews and I.. genuinely missed it. I did. I just needed to reajdust from doing one issue at a time to doing full arcs as well as get it in my head to do one.  And while I didn’t INTEND to review these, I ended up liking this series, at least for this mini, so much I couldn’t resist diving into them critically.  As for why I decided to read these comics it’s simple: i’ve never read the Stand but always wanted to. No real complex motives: I’ve liked some adaptations of King’s works with It: Chapter One being the reason I finally started watching horror movies after a good decade or two of avoiding them like the plauge, finally breaking down my squeamish cowardly barrier and opening up a greater world. Granted the sequel was a giant balloon parade of disapointment, but I can get to that some other day. Point is I like Stephen King: he seems like a decent enough guy, has had some good adaptations of his works and even the bad ones have some fun. Like this trailer for maximum overdrive where it’ shard to tell if it’s his tragic drug addiction or just him that’s responsibile for that wonderful delivery. 

So yeah, with little options to read the stand and the series out of print, I decided to dive into the comics because they seemed accurate enough from the way reviews had them and frankly before horror films, I really got into horror through comics, with my gateway there being Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’s afterlife with archie. Many of you may know RAS, as i’m calling him so I don’t horribly mangle his namem, as the guy behind riverdale, sabrina, which is partialy based off his own sabrina comic and kathy keene, but before he became Archie’s golden boy, he was a writer at marvel, hence these mini series, and wrote the wonderful fantastic four series marvel knight’s 4, which I might cover at some point, which followed the four as they lost all their money and had to live like us normal folks. It’s really fucking good stuff and easily one of the best runs on the characters period. Afterlife with Archie is no slouch either so pairing both guys who brought me to the terrordance of horror seemed like a match made in heaven.  So that’s where we Stand, pun intended: I haven’t read the stand or watched the mini series, only know or remember some spoilers, and am walking into this blind but eager to see what happens. So if your willing to join me on the ride and on my fresh perspective, here’s Stephen King’s the stand by RAS and Mike Perkins.  Now since, at least at this early stage, The stand is divided up by the characters and what their going through as the virus hits, i’m going to cover this character by character, with an additional section on the progress of the pandemic itself and the government response.  Before I dig in I will say there is something I really love here: The Pacing. NOw I will grant it’s slow: By the end of this mini we only JUST meet big bad Randall Flag as the pademic and it’s goverment coverup both kick into high gear.  So why does it work? Simple: The characters. By opening up as the end of the world is happening instead of shortly before or after like most post apoclayptic stories, and focusing on each of our surivivors we get a real sense of who our heroes were before society collapsed as it collapses, and get to really care about them and WANT to see how they react to the end of the world and what they become. It justifies the series, and the book’s , massive length by using that giant stretch of time to get us invested in the cast and really want to see where this story goes. It’s really good storytelling and holds up really well. So with that out of the way, we can dive into the meat of the story itself. And before we can get to our protaganists, let’s get to the plauge itself 

THE OUTBREAK

The story starts with a soldier breaking out of quarantine after getting hit with a miltary virus, infecting his wife and child  while trying to go awol and dying.. thus starting the plauge known as Captain Tripps. It crashes into a small town gas station, where we met Stu, one of our heroes, more of him later and starts to slowly grip the nation as the book goes on.  The Goverment handles making a plauge that will end up dooming the human race.. by pretending it dosen’t exist, supressing the media, and cordening off whole cities and taking them over. An early attempt by the media to get the story out get the reporters shot horribly, and we get to see all the gore in this version. it’s not plesant but it’s a well done sequence. We get an even worse sequence where the general in charge of the facility captain tripps came from seeing tons of dead bodies in the cafeteria from their sceintests failed attempts at a cure, one of which is horribly bloated, and then shoots himself..... yeah I got nothing. Just.. wow. Good horrible stuff. 

So yeah tha’ts basically how it goes: the goverment can’t figure out how to stop it and tries desperatley to cover it up or downplay it instead.. and why yes our own goverment’ sbungled handling of coronavirus, with our own PRESIDENT, in the hospital right now, does make this extra chilling to me thanks for asking!  It SOMEHOW gets worse with the final issue as various media outlets rebel against the goverment  supression with tv, newspaper and radio all reporting on this despite the risk.. that comes true as the goverment STILL dosen’t learn their lesson and kills them all and we end as the virus only gets worse and the president urges everyone that it’s all fine despite teh mass bodies dumped into the sea and to just take some juice. Just.... just..... 

Yes exactly thank you Jon. It’s good stark horrible stuff, I just have no more commentary other than please make it stop. I will say however it’s well done stuff that lets the creeping dread seep in until it really hits fever pitch at the end. 

Stu Redman: 

As I mentioned, we meet Stu very early on, as he’s on site when patient zero crashes his car into a gas station.  Unfortuntely for him this gets him and hsi town swept up to a goverment black site where as seen above, he has no time for the bullshit their feeding him and is in no mood to actually cooperate till they actually talk to them. Which.. yeah it’s entirely resonable: the Goverment is holding him here against his will, refusing to tell him anything and asking to get samples from him. How does he know their not just going to shoot him the second their done with him? He dosen’t and given what we’ve seen this version of the goverment, and hell the real goverment do, yeah. Maybe blind trust needs to be earned rather than demanded. Just saying.  Stu gets his answers, that everyone else they brought in and thus his whole town is dead, and they don’t know how to stop the virus.. and that they don’t know where it came from but as the above makes clear, that’s a load of garbage. So Stu relcutantly and grumpliy coperates. He’s basically if Ron Swanson got freaky friday’d into nick millers body. 

Stu eventually gets taken to a diffrent facility after the jounalist thing and becomes even more coperative, as they start bringing in an armed guard every time someone visits him.. and Stu starts to get even more wary of this shit as it’s very obvious he’s become expendable, he uses those exact words, and by the end of this mini is plotting his escape. He also has dreams.. of iowa cornfields.. and a sinster man in black floating above them.  I like stu a lot: A hard nosed down to earth guy who dosen’t take shit, but is clever enough to know when to bite his tounge and bide his time, easily sussing out both why he’d been moved to a new facility and just how disposable he now is: He’s a man who will fight when needed but knows when to hold back and wait for it. He’s also a nice protaganist ot be our main viewpoint in the goverment sections and is easily my second faviorite. My faviorite is coming shortly. 

Frannie Goldsmith: 

Frannie is a college student who just ended up pregnant by her  boyfriend Jesse. She dosen’t want to marry him despite him offering.. and given his reactions to her telling him this are to whine “but you were supposed to be on the pill”, which she was and gave plenty of reasons why that may not have worked, and then give a loud , what was probably groaning “Aw hell” before proposting.. yeah good call. 

Frannie’s dad takes it well as he’s sad, but he understands and loves his daughter and wants to support her. Her mother.. is a selfish nightmare who bearates her for it, berates her husband, who usually backs down as Frannie is used to at this point, for standing up for her and then just for added terrible points physically abuses Frannie, who is PREGNANT, by slapping her hard. I know that can’t hurt the baby but fucking really.  Thankfully Frannie’s father decides even if he wont’ divorce the crone to stand up to her at least, and points out she really hasn’t been the same since Frannie’s brother died, igorning her up until the pregnancy and calling her out. She leaves in a huff defeated, and Frannie leaves to go stay at a hotel for a bit while tryign to find somewhere to stay, with her mom not wanting to talk to her and her dad insiting she come around.  Given her mother had signs of the virus earlier.. she dosen’t. She dies, Frannie, having come home to help her is devistated and we actually get a devistating if confusing bit as she hugs her dad and talks about eating the pie. Something lost in translation but the visuals cover well enough. And that’s where he story ends, though with a montage in the last issue, which is all we get of htem as the issue is focused on Flagg and the pandemic response instead. Not a bad move mind as it’s easily the best issue of the series, just a note.  Frannie is a likeable enough character, a strong woman who knows what she wants, wants to keep her baby and has decent enough family drama.. if well worn at this point but fraknly the book was written all the way back in the late 70′s so this is forgivable as it probably wasn’t AS common as it is now. Frannie has plenty of personality but her plot is one of the less intresting as it’s pretty easy to tell where it’s going in comparison to the other, more intresting plots going on around it. That said you still connect to frannie enough for it to not feel like a drag on the story and to feel important, so it’s not too bad a section. 

Larry Underwood: Larry Underwood is a musician whose also a bit o fa scumbag, using people and drugs like theres no tommorow and riding high, in both senses, off the sucess of his single.. a title that sums up the 70′s in a nutshell “Baby Can You Dig Your Man?”. Just.. it sounds like a parody song from SCTV... so in other words good job on making a goofy 70′s pop hit title stephen. Respect. 

But yeah a friend of Larry’s seeing he’s hit bottom suggets he had back to new york. Larry bunks with his mom who worries it’s too late for him to change from the scumbag he is now and that only a great catstrophe could do that. 

So yeah obviously it’s gonna, but we’ll likely see that as the series goes on. So mostly Larry’s segment is one incident of him having a one night stand that seems a bit overblown.. I mean it is scummy of him but her screaming “your not a good guy and what not as seen above just seems narmy as hell and utterly stephen king in terms of writing.. but the scene of him trying to convince himself she’s wrong after is really strong. Larry’s self doubt, self hate and wondering if he’s that bad is really strong stuff and really godo character stuff showing he is an asshole who uses people including his own mom.. but also genuinely DOSEN’T want to be that person but dosen’t know how. We also get a crushing bit where he calls for his friend who helped him only to find out not only is the guy in the hopstial but it’s getting bad. As the chapter ends larry looses his mom too.  The one real weakness of this bit is King goes on a bit of an author tract that’s kept via larry’s narration, which by the way I love how the books narration is kept REALLY damn well via the caption boxes, it’s really nicely done and a way to help keep some of the bits from the book while still taking bits out where necessary. It’s a nice touch. But back on point yeah.. Larry REALLY hates new york.. which to me translates as Stephen King REALLY hating new york, and wanting you to know how much he hates new york, how much the city was festering back then, how much of a crap hole it is, how it farts turds during thunder storms etc. IT’s likely trimme down from the text but boy does it feel unecessary> We get it, 70′s pre clean-up intiative new york was REALLY fucking awful. You didn’t like it there. But if you want to rant about new york for several paragraphs.. 

Like I get that he’s TRYING to make the point Larry dosen’t like new york and dosen’t fit in at home but instead of trying into his character arc entirely it just feels like an excuse for King to ramble about his hatred of new york. I’ts easily the weakest part of this mini series and I only think it was kept because RAS, as made clear in the question and answer sessions with marvel.com in the back of one of the issues, is a huge king fan and wanted to keep as much as possible. It’s the one time I feel the comic, and the story it’s retelling, really stumbled that bad. Thankfully with that rant over we can get onto my faviorite character

Nick Andros: Nick is easily has both the most unique narriatve and is the most intresting character to me. A mute and deaf teenage drifter, he goes from town to town finding work.. and between towns get beatup by a bunch of local assholes the ringleader of which is your standard Stephen King bully because depending on the kindness of strangers in a stephen king story is just asking for a beating.  Though oddly enough that ends up working as Nick finds himself in a jail cell with the local Sheirff and after getting a pad and paper, not only verifies he was working with someone in town, and who he is , but also who beat him down. And oddly for a king story since while he DOES have a heroic sheirff i’ve heard of, most of his law enformcent seem to be corrupt hicks at best, this one.. is a nice guy who makes sure the assholes that assaulted nick are brought in despite the ringleader being his wife’s nephew and knowing he’ll get no sex for a while because of it.. the narrative points this out because we needed to knwo that apparently. 

But said wife happily takes Nick in along with the Shierff while the sheirff takes 3/4 of the assholes in, with said nephew booking it out of town. But soon our kindly sheiff takes ill from the virus and Nick gladly fills in for him as his new deputy to make sure the idiots at the jail don’t starve. He continues this throught the book even as he looses his new family tragically due to the virus.. and soon his prisoners catch it too and clearly aren’t long for the world.  Nick is a THROUGHly likeable character. Just from body laungage it’s clear there’s a bit of an edge and a bit of harshness to him.. but he’s mostly just a good kid who goes out of his way to make sure three assholes who tried beating him to death get fed and watered, and wants to do the right thing despite the world crappign on him constnatly. He’s throughly intresting and his disablity is nicely portrayed, with him being portrayed as a normal guy who simplyg ot dealt a really crappy hand and does his best with it. Easily the best part of this mini, closely followed by the last issue but we’ll get to that in a second. We have one more character to get through. 

Lloyd Henried This bit will go fast since he’s only in two sections this mini but Lloyd is a dimwitted crminal who clearly gets a thrill from the crime sprees and murders he and his pal have done but also dosen’t murder inscreimatley. Unfortunatley his partner in crime does and Lloyd gets arrested after his first scene and hsi friend gets his face gunned off. Lloyd is last scene with his lawyer teaching him to lie. He’s basically just a dumb criminal at this point who likes thrills. Not a lot to dig into comapred to the other characters soooooo let’s move on to our final focus character and the focus of the final issue only, but hitned at before... 

Randall Flagg The breakout character of the piece, one of king’s most loved and most used villians. The Walking Dude. The Devil HImself. I had high expecations of this character with all that hype and he did NOT disapoint. 

Flagg is a mysterious supernatural drifter who dosen’t even know how long he’s existed but is evil itself. He makes anyone he passes feel nervous, glass crack and everyone uneasy, yet when needed can slip in and out of any extremist or hate group easily and hands out pamphliets for whatever will get people riled up the most, good cause or bad. and easily worms his way in and out of heavily armed groups and into women’s beds. My words do not do kings words put onto the final issue justice. They jsut impart he is evil, he is here, and he is about to RISE. And you’d better be prepared to run. After a few issues of only appearing in one dream.. we meet our antagonist and he is a lot. Throughly engaging, throughly creepy and throughly unesettling we get a full sense of who flagg is a drifter who SEEMS resonable enough when talking but just.. gets under your skin, yhou just feel.. WRONG around him. This one sequence REALLY got me excited to see what this bastard does. Not a lot elsse to say  throughly engaging creepy impressive villian who lived up to the hype and star of one of the best single issues i’ve read. No notes. 

So yeah overall.. I really love this story so far. Obviously I have a LONNNG way to go and 5 more mini series to go so I hope you’ll join me but the art is good, the decisions fantastic and the writing adapted well, clearly compressed but in a way that works. A fantastic way to read the story for a newcomer such as myself and if you can find it somehwer,e read it. Ill continue with it as hte month, or months probably, go on. Until then check back on my blog for regular ducktales coverage and some more halloween fun, hit up my asks if you have some comics you’d like to see me cover, and until next time, happy halloween. 

[netfixnchill]

Stranger Things Theories

Okay so this is going to be a mind dump of my thoughts after watching season 3! There will be spoilers in this post!

1) Not the American: Many people believe that the American the Russians are referring to is Hopper. Of course the finale wrecked me but The Duffer Brothers would really need to provide a believable explanation as to how Hopper could have possibly survived. In that split second how and why would a Russian spare Hopper’s life just to hold him captive? If Hopper escaped it would have been an impossible thing for Joyce not to have witnessed. Hopper also seemed pretty resigned into his own fate in that moment. I hold the series to a higher standard than to kill someone for shock value just to bring them back. I do however think it’s possible the American is Papa. (I can’t recall if he was American), but in season 2 it was an open ended question of if he was truly dead or not. 

2) The Demodog: Why and how was that demodog still alive after closing the gate? In my season 2 re-watch, El catapulted one of these creatures through the Byers window. Dustin had Steve wrap up the demodog and shove it into the Byers freezer claiming it was a “scientific discovery”. This seemed like a scene that was intentional and not just a moment of comic relief. It is also odd that we never heard about what was the follow up to putting this demodog in the freezer. If Joyce freaks out over magnets imagine how she’d react to trying to get some ice cream and finding a creature instead. What if the demodog didn’t die when it went through the window and somehow escaped the Byers home? In the commotion of the season 2 finale it seemed really random to have a scene of Steve and Dustin spending time forcing it into the Byers freezer. They wouldn’t have prioritized that scene if there wasn’t a reason. 

3) El’s Powers: This theory relates to the possibility of Papa still being alive. My first thought was Papa somehow being brought back into the story line (if he is truly alive) and aiding in helping El get her powers back. I’m hoping Kali will also be brought into the next season as well. I know that Kali and El don’t seem to remember any other children from the lab, but their numbers make me wonder how many other missing children have abilities? Did Kali and El have the numbers 11 and 8 because they intend to fill in the missing children in future seasons? The only thing with that theory is that I fear the show may become about abilities which could be cool as long as it doesn’t turn into a super hero themed show.

4) Season 4: It’s impossible to predict a future season but I think there;s but only so many times they can have El continuously close the same gate. I’m hoping to see Kali and El reunite since that relationship is a familiar bond she may long for after losing Hopper and moving out of Hawkins  When El left Kali, Kali was visibly upset so Kali might even attempt to find her. In rewatching season 2 Kali said reuniting with El was like having a missing part of her brought back. Although Kali was utilizing El’s ability in a harsh way I don’t believe shes a bad person. Her personality and uniqueness would be another great addition to the next season and provide poc representation. I also want to see the kids work to get through their trauma! Someone please get Will a therapist for the Love of God. Also poor Joyce!! The men in her life keep being taken away from her and she deserves so much better. Group counseling for the Byers is a must. I’m hoping to see a dynamic between Nancy, Robin, Steve, and Jonathan as well as Will and El developing a nurturing and loving friendship in season 4. 

Final Season 3 Thoughts: I really wish we saw the development of Max and Billy’s relationship. Coming into this season we only saw a generally abusive side to Billy. I was initially shocked seeing how Max broke down over his death and wondered how her relationship changed after she stood up to him in season 2. We only had a small glimpse of why Billy was the way he was and it could’ve been interesting to see him attempt to redeem himself had he not been killed off. I’m glad we got to see the dynamic of El befriending Max and appreciated that her and Mike weren’t consumed by each other throughout every episode. This season was definitely the most gruesome of all of them but I cant wait for the next one!

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 5

5: Theatricality

Written by: Ryan Murphy Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Overall Thoughts: For a really, really long time this was my absolute favourite episode of all time. It’s still high up there, but unlike most people I actually really enjoyed the last two seasons of Glee, so this episode got bumped down a bit. Still, there is very little I don’t like about this episode. It manages to give several characters’ stories while still focusing on the main two stories of the episode. Unlike “Dream On”, I didn’t feel like I was watching a show about Finn, Rachel, Kurt, and Shelby. I felt like I was watching Glee.

What I Like:

Figgins thinking vampires are real and talking about how they need to keep vampirism out of McKinley.

Tina looking interested when Puck says “Catholic school girl”

“Happy meal, no onions. Or a chicken”

Kurt getting so excited over Lady Gaga. Oh, honey <3

“You don’t need an appointment at super-cuts. They love walk-in’s” CLAPBACK OF THE CENTURY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (this line makes me die of laughter every fucking time like oh my god Karofksy you are so genuinely stupid)

The Lady Gaga outfits!!!! Even Rachel’s original one, which I find hilarious and way more fitting for her personality than the one she gets later

“You look terrible. I look awesome”

“You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She’s a girl!” “Okay, fine, Jackie Daniels”

Shelby being honest with Rachel when she realized that she made a mistake by contacting her and that this wasn’t what she really wanted. I appreciate when characters can be honest when they mess up, even if it hurts them and other people.

Rachel being honest as well and admitting that she doesn’t feel that mother-daughter bond she always dreamed of with Shelby. I wish they’d gone a little deeper into this, but I’m still glad they mentioned it at all. Especially when Shelby says that it was when Rachel told her about her dad’s and how they would bring her water when she was sad. Shelby isn’t her mom, and it was silly for both of them to expect that. Rachel doesn’t have a mom – she has two dads. While I’m glad they explored the “where I come from” aspect of this, I’m also glad that they didn’t turn it into “I feel more connected to you because of biology than I do to my fathers who raised me”.

THAT WHOLE SCENE WITH KURT AND FINN AND BURT IN THE BASEMENT. There is so much I love about that scene. I could write an essay on that scene and how important it is. That scene literally defined Glee for me for so long. I’m so glad they did that scene.

Okay, I know it’s an insult and homophobic and gross but when Azimio says “being in football and being in Glee doesn’t make you versatile – it makes you bisexual” I always burst out laughing like oh my god I don’t know why I find that so funny.

Finn standing up for Kurt at the end. I will say though that, while I enjoy this, there are some things that I wish had been included as well, which I’ll talk more about later.

Artie and Mike being lil cuties and actually cheering for the girls and being super encouraging in their performance. Considering Artie was always portrayed as the most misogynistic of the guys, he actually is one of the few that openly and genuinely encourages the girls in their performances every fucking time.

Finn actually getting to react to seeing Puck and Quinn talk about the baby!!!!! That’s always been my biggest pet peeve – Finn literally thought he was going to be a father and that got ripped away from him, and he wasn’t ever shown to be angry about that. It was always just “oh boo-hoo Quinn cheated on me and Puck is my best friend woe is me” when really he should be mourning the loss of a child he thought was his, but then learnt was not. Like… I don’t know. Seeing him awkwardly look away reminds everyone that he genuinely thought that baby was his, and now he can’t go through this with Quinn. He’s obviously upset about it. Even though he’s a dink in this episode I still feel bad for him about this.

Will going to the effort to look into Lady Gaga and actually getting excited about her.

What I Don’t:

I already said this, but Finn is a dink in this episode. He’s getting bullied by Karofksy and Azimio, and instead of calling them out on being homophobic and sexist and engaging in toxic masculinity, he just falls into it. He turns that abuse onto Kurt, who he clearly thinks is the one who deserves the abuse. And like, I don’t get why he’s so freaked out around Kurt. Yeah, it’s obvious that Kurt has a crush on him, but when has he ever tried to make a blatant, obvious move (kiss him, touch him, grab him, etc)? When has he given Finn any reason to be worried about changing around him, or even just sharing a room with him? It’s homophobia and toxic masculinity at it’s finest. Add the whole “I don’t wanna do Gaga cause I’m a Man” bullshit that’s thrown into this episode and it’s just a mess. While I’m happy they had Finn stand up for Kurt at the end and wear the Lady Gaga outfit, it still took him being told by an older, straight man that he was being a piece of shit and homophobic and offensive and gross for him to realize what was happening. Plus, I don’t think they gave Finn enough of a chance to really redeem himself. I mean, come on, it’s really easy to say sorry and put on an outfit; actually changing your attitude is more of an uphill battle. I wish they’d re-visited this more at a later date (though not in the way they did in “Duets” when Kurt brings it up and it somehow turns on Kurt and makes Finn look like the victim which……. Fuck off)

Will being the one to tell Shelby what she needs to do with Rachel.

Will agreeing with Finn about how they always do what the girls want when the girls literally always get sidelined. Literally fuck off. I can’t stand this “boo hoo my masculinity is too fragile to perform a song by a theatrical woman I need to perform a manly song instead” “you’re right, I’ve been turning this Boys Club into a Girls Club. Time to take our manhood back!” Ew.

Finn, Puck and Matt not being supportive of the girls when they performed their awesome Gaga number. I feel like this show did that a lot – the guys don’t understand a performer, so they don’t encourage their teammates. Then, when they do a number, the girls are super supportive and encouraging. It’s annoying.

Okay, even though Finn is a dink in this episode, I still think that they shouldn’t have told him about moving in with Burt and Kurt like that. This decision affects him too – Carole should have sat him down and asked him what he wanted to do, and if they disagreed then figured out how they could come up with a compromise.

Also, yet another missed opportunity for bi!Finn! This whole episode could have been an awesome way to show internalized homophobia, especially with that line at the end where Finn is like “I am different”. But whatever.

“My dad’s can’t sow. I really need a mom right now” I mean, not every woman knows how to sow, Rachel. You clearly don’t know how to sow. Why would you assume that just because she’s technically a mother that Shelby knows how to sow?

Songs:

Funny Girl: While Idina Menzel sounds amazing in this, I find it boring and too long. It’s emotional because of Rachel, but whenever Rachel isn’t on screen I lose interest.

Bad Romance: An amazing number!!! I love when they do actual group numbers, where a bunch of them get solo lines. I think everyone except Rachel and Brittany sing in this one, which is amazing! Plus the costumes and the choreography is awesome! My only gripe is changing “I’m a free bitch, baby” to “I’m a freak, baby”, which I don’t understand cause they say the word “bitch” on Glee all the time (they literally sing a song titled “Bitch” like come on).

Shout It out Loud: An entertaining performance that is all too forgettable. I honestly can’t remember most of what happened in it, and I literally just watched it.

Beth: This song always brings tears to my eyes. It’s such an emotional moment, and the song is so melancholy. Plus Puck sounds amazing (and while I understand why the put Finn’s verse in there I still lowkey wish it had been a Puck solo).

Poker Face: I have never liked this version of the song, and I probably never will. I don’t think it transfers well to acoustic at all. I honestly cringe a little listening to it because the lyrics and the melody just don’t match up. I strongly dislike this song. No thanks.

Final Thoughts: While I wish they had gone further on a few elements, overall this episode is really strong. It’s funny (a lot of great one-liners), it’s emotional, and (with a few exceptions) has really good music. It’s definitely my favourite episode of season one, and I’ve watched it as a stand-alone more times than I can count. I really, really like this episode.

[welllpthisishappening]

All the Subliminal Things (2/3)

Emma Swan does not believe in soulmates.

Or so she says. Because if her soulmate did, actually, exist, he should have shown up by now. So, she must be a fluke, a broken cog in a system that really doesn’t make much sense anyway. It is, she figures, why she agrees to meet David’s friend before Regina and Robin’s wedding. This guy doesn’t believe in soulmates either.

She’s intrigued.

Until she hears him talk. And everything flips after that.

------

Rating: Teen Word Count: Still around 5K’ish AN: This is really just five-thousand words of flirting and emotional backstories. And then more flirting. Kevin Jonas got married at the same castle Regina and Robin are going to have their wedding. So, I’m really sticking with the theme here. As always, I am floored and a little stunned by any response to anything I write, but this has just been delightful and you are all very nice. Thank for clicking and reading and sending very nice comments. I hope you guys enjoy this part too. And make sure to tell @resident-of-storybrooke​ how fantastic her cover art is. It’s fantastic. 

Also on Ao3 if that’s your jam. 

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“Ok, favorite movie?” “No one is going to ask you that.” Killian shrugs. They’re in a different coffee shop, some unspoken agreement that they’ll only meet in public places, and his legs are stretched out impossibly far, arms crossed lightly over his chest with a shirt on that is making it very difficult for Emma to concentrate.

Honestly, it may be that stupid piece of hair behind his ear.

“You don’t know that,” he argues. “And, strictly speaking, my interest in being fake soulmates with you has no bearing on my interest in knowing what your favorite movie is.” Emma’s pretty proud of her distinct lack of reaction. She doesn’t gasp. She doesn’t groan. She makes no noise whatsoever at fake soulmates despite the certainty that the words actually cut their way through her.

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?” He shrugs again. It makes his shirt shift slightly, a patch of skin just above another pair of ridiculously tight pants and maybe he’s actively trying to drive her insane. Maybe the world just hates her. That seems more likely.

“It’s certainly how it was intended,” Killian says, taking a drink of another fancy coffee order. He got a latte this time. “And you’re avoiding the question, love.”

Emma reacts at that. That’s disappointing.

She can feel her eyes bug, tongue darting between her lips because, at some point, she’d started breathing through her mouth and the flush that creeps up Killian’s cheeks is as nice as it is unexpected.

“Swan,” he mutters, like he’s correcting himself or reminding himself. Of something. Emma has no idea of what. “The movie. Favorites only.” “Ok, but that makes it seem like I have more than one favorite movie. That doesn’t make any sense. By definition.” “Do you think you were an English teacher in another life?”

“Was that a Bye Bye Birdie reference?” “Absolutely not. And Dick Van Dyke was supposed to be the English teacher. Are you Dick Van Dyke in this scenario?” “He did have an overbearing mother.” “Are you suggesting Mary Margaret is is your overbearing mother?” Killian asks, a smile tugging at the end of his lips. Emma needs to stop staring at his lips.

“Nah, it’s definitely David. The whole thing is gender swapped you see.” “Ah, of course, of course. Ok, so no more Bye Bye Birdie references.” “Why were you aware that was something I could have been making?” “Swan, this is still not answering the question.” She widens her eyes on purpose that time and they’ve been doing this for nearly two weeks now – coffee...meetings that very clearly aren’t dates because they very clearly aren’t soulmates, but it’s nice and good and comfortable and a few more adjectives that are several thousand times more emotional than that.

Emma’s fairly sure she’s at, like, twenty-six on the scale of how absolutely not fine this is.

“Killian,” she prompts when he doesn’t answer immediately, and his head snaps up like it’s on a timer. She can see the muscles in his throat move when he swallows. “Are you secretly a Broadway aficionado from the 60s?” “Only because it was forced upon me.” “Sounds violent.” “Nah, the opposite. A comforting force.” “You’re beating around something,” Emma accuses, and it’s only been a few weeks. Not even a full two. Technically, speaking. That’s barely any time. Her mind doesn’t care. It’s picked up on cues and ticks and little things, every tiny twitch and multiple moments and she’s got some secret stash of thoughts and feelings and how much she wants to know everything single thing about it him.

It terrifies her.

Because she’s absolutely setting herself up for disappointment.

“Only because it’s incredibly depressing,” Killian says. “And you’ve done a very good job of avoiding my question. But, uh…”

Another shrug, a little self deprecating and as depressing as advertised and Emma reaches forward on instinct and, maybe, magic she can’t control, resting her hand on the prosthetic at the end of his arm. They’re going to get kicked out of this coffee shop when their eyes both fall out of their respective heads.

It will probably make the news.

“My mom,” Killian whispers, eyes glancing down towards Emma’s hand and she doesn’t pull away. “Was very big on all that. Had ancient cast albums and a record player that only kind of worked and she used to play them when she cleaned the apartment.” Emma knows that tone. She’s felt it and experienced it, lived it more times than one person ever should, and it’s not something she’d ever wish on anyone.

Especially Killian.

“When?” she whispered.

He smiles. That feels like something important. An understanding. “I was ten. Very quick, very sudden, an even quicker ship off to the system.” “What?” Emma doesn’t quite bark out the word, but it’s very close and their eyes will not be able to cope with much more of this. “What do you mean, what?” Killian asks, clicking his tongue in frustration when he realizes he’s out of coffee. “That’s---I mean, my dad was an absolute dick and never around and Liam wasn’t--” “How long were you in the system?” She’s honestly impressed by how quickly he understands. It’s barely more than three seconds, a flash of his eyes that makes Emma wonder a whole slew of things she shouldn’t even be considering. They’re friends. She thinks.

She hopes.

She’s not great at that either.

Cowardly and a great, big giant liar, kind of petulant, just sort of a jerk and, now, a pessimist.

“Until I was eighteen,” Killian answers. “Liam wanted to get me out before then, but that’s expensive and there have to be lawyers and have you ever heard of soulmates that aren’t romantic?” Emma nods. “Elsa and her sister.”

"Well, Liam tried to do that, but it didn't work and who is Elsa, exactly?" “She’s a public defender. We’re friends.” “You’re a cop and friends with a public defender? Isn’t that against the rules?” “Nah,” Emma objects, but that’s kind of true too and it’s not fair how easily he can read her. “David was a little scandalized at first, but he gets along with Elsa’s sister anyway and Ruby said it was ok, so…” “And Ruby is?” “Is this an interrogation? I thought that was supposed to be my schtick.”

Killian grins. It’s distracting. She’s going to bring scissors to the next coffee shop they go to. “Genuine curiosity, love.” He does it on purpose. She’s positive. That’s...something.

“Ruby is the reason I’m here,” Emma says. “She grew up in this tiny little town in Maine. Grandmother owns a diner there. And I ended up there--maybe ten years ago? They let me stay there for awhile, then Ruby left for the great, big city and somehow met Mary Margaret.” “David’s Mary Margaret?” “You know a lot of other ones?” Killian shakes his head, eyes darting every few seconds to the hand Emma’s never moved. “Anyway, Ruby heard about an opening at the police department, the need for a few of us interested in preserving justice and told me I didn’t have any choice. There was no reason not to.” “No?” “No,” Emma echoes, a finality to her voice that grates on the inside of her throat. But they’re treading close to suddenly emotional territory and admissions she doesn’t want to get into in a coffee shop, apparently, a few blocks away from Killian’s apartment. “No reason to stay in Boston when there’s so much opportunity here. That’s, like, the New York slogan, right?”

He nods so slowly it’s barely a movement, lips parted slightly like he’s trying to come up with the right word and--”When did you get out, then?” Emma isn’t going to answer. She’s not. It’s too much and not enough and trying to be friends with your soulmate is much harder than she anticipated.

“Seventeen,” she says softly. “I ran away.” “To Maine?”

“Yup.” “And Boston right after Maine?”

“You’re very curious,” she says, and it comes out like an accusation. Killian purses his lips.

“Yes, I am. Piqued, even.” “I didn’t get to Boston for a couple of years. And I wasn’t really there very long. It’s expensive there, you know?” “I do,” Killian says, and maybe she’ll be better prepared for the never-ending string of surprises eventually. “Best cannoli?” “Mike’s, don’t even joke about that.” Killian chuckles, running a hand through his hair. “Anything else is blasphemy. I’m sorry you ran, Swan. It shouldn’t have been like that.” “Ah, a lot of things shouldn’t be the way they were.” “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” He takes a deep breath, licking his lips and there are definitely strangers staring at them. They’re far too close to each other. “Rear Window.”

“Is that code?” “That’s my favorite movie.” “Oh my god, why?” “It’s good.” Emma blinks, scoffing slightly and laughing a bit and her smile has become something like second nature in the last few weeks. Not even two weeks. “Raiders of the Lost Ark. ” “Are you kidding me? Last Crusade is so much better.” “I didn’t critique your choice,” Emma argues, more curious stares cast her way. One of them comes from Killian. She’s poking her finger into his chest now. He is impossibly solid. “I mean, kind of, at least.” “At least,” he echoes. “Why that one, then?” “I like the rolling ball thing. I always wanted to see that show at Disney World.” It’s not the most emotional thing they’ve said all day, but it somehow feels like even more and then some and Emma is not even remotely prepared for the force of Killian’s answering smile. “Disney World, huh?”

“People go there.” “They do,” he agrees, and she’s not sure why it sounds like some kind of promise.

“You have a favorite Disney movie?” “Nope.” Emma shakes her head. “Nah, c’mon, everyone does. You just don’t want to admit it.” “That is not true at all,” Killian counters. “I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a Disney movie.” “Oh my God.” “When have I had time, love?” She supposes that’s fair. Everything else is absolutely not, but Emma’s only barely keeping her grip on her sanity at this point, so she doesn’t want to rock the metaphorical boat as it were. It’s started to feel...feelings.

Real feelings. Not just because she’s memorized every shift in his voice in the last two weeks. It’s been two full weeks now, of coffee on their lunch breaks and smiles when he texts her to make sure she gets home alright and the flutter of butterflies in the pit of her stomach whenever Emma sends him the same gif every morning. It’s LMFAO. From the Shots video.

She’s honestly such a catch.

“That’s fair, I guess,” she admits. “Just like...never in your life?” “Nope.” “You’re trying to be annoying.” “Nope,” he says again, but that one comes with a smirk and a quick twist of his eyebrows and the butterflies threaten to fly out of Emma’s mouth and take over the world. She likes him. Even without the soulmate thing.

It’s problematic.

And not. 

Mostly because of the soulmate thing. 

But he's kind of funny, in a stupidly thinks he's charming sort of way, and she's noticed that he scratches the back of his ear when he's nervous, and seems to have an assortment of button-up shirts with increasingly ridiculous patterns. There haven't been fireworks. It's more a...soft simmer, like falling back into something calm and easy and Emma supposes that's why it has to be wrong. 

God, she's so bitter she's surprised her tongue doesn't rot. 

“I’m being honest with you. That’s a good thing, right?” The butterflies turn to ash.

“Sure,” Emma mumbles. “What if...what if we watched a Disney movie?” “When?” “I’m actually off this weekend.”

His whole body changes, eyes brightening and spine possibly stretching and Emma’s gasp is ridiculous as soon as his lips press against her cheek. They both freeze, looking anywhere except each other. “All weekend?” Killian whispers, and Emma hopes whatever nod she makes in response is actually audible. “You or me?” “You speak in these codes and I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Do you want to come to my apartment or should I come to yours?” Oh. Oh. Oh.

“Yours,” Emma says before she can regret it, but letting him into her apartment seems like a line she can’t come back from and this is fake. They’re just friends. She’s the only one with a soulmate. “That’s---I’ve got no food anyway.” “Neither do I,” Killian laughs. “But I can get something. Or we can order things. Multiple things, even. Good stuff.” His voice picks up, excitement obvious in every letter and the weight of his smile. Emma’s pulse doesn’t know what to do with that. “I’m going to expect good stuff, then.” “That’s fair.” She shows up on Saturday afternoon with a bottle of whiskey and he must have ordered from every place in a ten-mile radius. The counter is covered with food and more alcohol than one person could ever possibly be expected to drink, his gaze more than slightly cautious when Emma freezes in the doorway.

“Too much?” “No,” she says, pleasantly surprised to find she means it. “You want to start at Snow White and work our way through?” “Deal.”

Emma falls asleep somewhere in the forgotten period of 1970s Disney animation, a skip-ahead in the timeline because she’s always hated One Hundred and One Dalmatians and The Sword in the Stone used to freak her out after that one time she saw it when she was six. She wakes up to hear Killian mumbling under his breath about how historically inaccurate Robin Hood is. He only stops when Emma points out that the protagonist in question is also a fox.

They only get off the couch to get more to drink and more egg rolls because Killian must have ordered a dozen egg rolls and Emma has no idea how he knew she’d want a dozen egg rolls. Good guess, or something.

And it’s way too late by the time she’s realizes it’s late, curled against Killian’s side with his fingers tracing absent-minded patterns on her back in a familiar sort of way that should be absolutely impossible. Emma doesn’t want to move. She has to move.

This is the worst.

Cowardly and a great, big giant liar, kind of petulant, just sort of a jerk and so goddamn depressed she’s positive she reeks with it.

“You don't have to go,” Killian mutters, fingers stilling.

“I should.” “Whatever you want, love. But--” She can feel him take a deep breath, chest shifting under her cheek. “You’re comfortable.” Words should not be...this. They should just be words and be finished and there should be far less angst in fake dating your soulmate. Only this whole thing has kind of felt a hell of a lot like a date and Emma’s starting to wonder if she’s just drowning.

At all times.

In the middle of Queens.

“Ok.” Killian’s fingers start moving again. “Ok.”

“So,” Mary Margaret says pointedly, a few weeks out of the wedding and Emma’s finally buying a dress. It’s because she’s been dreading this conversation. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Killian recently.”

Emma doesn’t groan. It’s the most mature thing she’s done since she first started hanging out with Killian. She still hates that string of words.

“Yup.” “And?” “And what?” Mary Margaret makes a noise in the back of her throat. “Nothing. I'm just observing.” “Are you just?” Emma laughs, glancing in the mirror and this dress looks pretty good. Everything's felt pretty good in the last three weeks. Like the world has settled on a new axis that’s more efficient with a better rotation angle.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Mary Margaret promises. “Just..a thought. About how happy you are. You should get that dress.” “Yeah?” Emma doesn’t mean her question to be two-fold. That’s how it comes out anyway. Mary Margaret totally knows that. She can’t keep a secret, but she might be omniscient. “Yes,” she says with a smile. “It’s just...it’s good that he has someone to talk to who isn’t David or Locksley or the bar.” “The bar is talking to him?” “Emma.” “I’m serious. Where are you going with this?” Mary Margaret sighs softly, like she’s at war with herself over what to say next. “I’m just saying it’s good. After everything that happened in Boston and--” “--When was he in Boston?” “That’s where he was before he got here,” Mary Margaret says slowly, clearly surprised Emma doesn’t know that. That’s fair. It’s probably the first thing a friend should ask. “He’d been there for a few years.” “With Milah?” “He told you about Milah?” Emma nods, the unspoken lie heavy on her tongue. “Yup.” “Well, it’s not my story. But, like I said, I’m just glad you’re happy. Both of you.”

You can’t keep sending me the same text message every morning, Swan. Eventually you’re going to have to get more creative.

I’m not creative. This is as good as it’s going to get, buddy.

It’s good.

Yeah? Yeah. Be safe later, ok?

I’m not doing anything. Just following up on that lead with David.

Safe, Swan. Please.

Ok. I’ll call you when my shift’s over.

Good.  

 “You need to go further up on the right.” Killian groans, but does as Emma instructs, moving the sign and glancing over his shoulder expectantly. Emma grins. “That’s good,” she nods.

“Good because I think I dislocated both my shoulders doing that.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re the most dramatic man in the world.”

“Not even the Tri-State area.” He flashes her a smile, shaking the hair away from his eyes and he asked her to come see the bar that afternoon. His shirt is sticking to his arms.

Emma really wants to kiss him. She texts Ruby that later.

The audio file Ruby sends back is fourteen straight seconds of her very loud laughter.

“Why don’t you believe in soulmates?” Emma startles at the question, curled into the corner of Killian’s couch with her head propped up on the arm and another Disney movie playing in the background. It’s a thing. Apparently.

“Well, that’s a question,” Emma mumbles, Killian’s expression turning almost regretful. “Why do you ask?” He shrugs. It looks like a lie. It feels like a lie. “Just wondering.” “Yuh huh. Well...Mary Margaret can’t actually keep a secret so...do you know about Neal?” “Should I?” “I’m surprised you don’t,” Emma says, nerves churning until she’s certain they’re burning the back of her throat. Emotional acid reflux. “Neal was...a guy. A guy I met in Boston. And it was good for awhile. Comfortable and normal and I thought--well, a lot of things I shouldn’t have.” “No?” “No.” “And what happened?” “I’m here, aren’t I?” Killian hums. “If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to Swan.” Emma considers that – rehashing past pains and almost theres and she’d really thought Neal had been it. She’s not sure if it’s worse now that he isn’t. Mostly because it is sitting across from her with wide eyes that are obviously interested and too blue to be fair and she takes a deep breath before she actually decides.

“I thought Neal was a good guy,” Emma explains. “He was nice and charming and not always on the up and up, but I was doing bail bonds, not actual police work and I didn’t really care as long as I got the paycheck. Anyway, I knew he was into some shady stuff, but I liked him. He liked me. We were good. Until we were very not good.” Killian’s expression darkens slightly, concern almost palpable. “How not good is not good?” “Almost jail not good.” “What?” he balks, and that’s an emotion Emma is not entirely prepared for. The muscles in his throat shift when he swallows, eyes narrowing until they’re not much more than slits and his chest heaves when she rests her hand there.

“Take, like, eight-hundred steps back. I obviously didn’t go to jail. But it was--well, it was close. He was fencing this stuff, watches or something and I showed up before I was supposed to. There was a raid and lots of stun guns and have you ever been tased?” “Someone tased you?” “It’s not something I’d suggest experiencing.” “Fucking hell, Swan,” Killian breathes, fingers wrapping around her wrist. “That’s insane.” “Yeah, turned out he was not that great of a dude. He got off from any major time. Community service and a fine, because he’s dad’s super rich and the justice system is a joke, so…” “His dad is super rich and he was still fencing shit?” Emma nods. “He said it was kind of a thrill. You know, sticking it to the man or whatever.” “What an ass.” “Yeah, in retrospect. But, uh...I was kind of mad about everything still. The whole childhood thing leaves just this gaping hole of bitterness and one family in Ohio said I was, wait for it, too testy to be adopted.” “Testy?” “That’s what they said. On the official report.” Killian clicks his tongue, anger turning to disbelief almost visibly. “That’s not true, Swan.” “No?” “No,” he says, and it sounds like a promise. Her heart grows, the feel of it pressing between each one of  her ribs and several different internal organs until she’s almost concerned for the state of her spleen.

She probably doesn’t need her spleen.

She’d probably give up her spleen if he kept looking at her like that.

“You are…” Killian adds, “the opposite of that. Determined and a little stubborn, with some very strong opinions on Chinese food--” “--Those egg rolls we got the other day were garbage and you know it!” “So you mentioned, Swan. The point I’m making is that even if you hoped this asshole might have been something more than what he was, he still would have been the world’s biggest dick for ever thinking you deserved to get lied to.”

Her spleen hurts. It’s ridiculous.

“Thanks,” she whispers, not nearly enough. She can’t come up with another word. Killian smiles. “That’s not something you have to thank me for, love. Ever.”

She can feel the heat in her cheeks, heart hammering against her chest. And she hasn't, actually, come out and answered his question. "So, um," Emma mumbles, "that's it, I guess. I just--I thought, Neal was something or could have been someone and I really did love him and--" She shrugs. It's depressing. Killian's eyes are still impossibly narrow. "Well, it wasn't the moment, I guess."

"Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Had a moment?"

"God, I hate that. It's such a dumb name."

"Yeah, it is," Killian agrees, clearly noticing the bitterness in her voice and Emma can almost see him staging his retreat. "I'm sorry. That's, I shouldn't have--"

"--I thought it was Neal," Emma cuts in. The words are sharper than she intends them to be, but they also feel like they're doing permanent damage to her lips and Killian worries enough while she's at work. She can't imagine what he'll do if she starts bleeding from metaphorical knives on his couch. 

"He wasn't."

She freezes. 

Every single one of her muscles tenses. 

It is equally the single worst and best thing she's ever experienced in her life. 

And Killian's mouth is hanging open, eyes staring straight at her with an intensity that does something else to Emma's muscles and several different biological systems and it's entirely possible her spleen has just fallen on the floor at this point. She kind of feels like she's crumbling apart anyway. 

"He wasn't," Killian repeats, softer, but just as determined, a certainty in every single letter than Emma can't wrap her mind around. Yet. She assume she'll think about it on loop for, at least, the next forty-eight hours, though. "He...he couldn't have been. The whole soulmate thing is a mess, Swan. It's--" Another shrug. She's counting now. It's absurd. "Everyone's got a different way of knowing and they all want it, but it's...it should be more than that, don't you think?"

"Sure?"

"Swan."

"I'm just not sure where you're going with this."

"It's not forced love, but it's--well, it's supposed to be easier, right? And there's nothing wrong with people who don't have soulmates."

"You're genuinely not making any sense."

Killian scowls, leaning forward and Emma isn't sure if he means to do that. "I know, I know, I just..."

“Why do you order such ridiculous coffee every time we go out?” He chuckles, a quick press of what may actually be his lips to the bridge of her nose. “That same bitterness as you, I suppose. And a distinct lack of money or anything except, sometimes, the clothes on my back. I can do it now, so I’m going to get extra foam. Why don’t you get better coffee?” “That’s just a very pointed judgment regarding my coffee order.” “And not an answer.”

Emma sighs. He’s right. And very good at understanding. “I don’t want to overstep,” she mumbles. “Get more than I deserve.” “That’s not how it works, Swan.” “Tell that to my brain.” He leans forward slowly and for one crazy second she thinks he’s actually going to kiss her. She wants him to, desperately if she’s being honest, but that’s him and not her and the lying is getting harder. “That’s not how it works, Swan,” Killian repeats, pressing the words to the crown of her head.

She feels her smile spread across her face slowly, settling there. For posterity or something. “That was ridiculous.” “You believe me?” “A work in progress.” He definitely kisses her hair. “Good.”

The bar opens. A week before the wedding, which Emma thinks is absolutely insane, but Killian just flashes her a smile and it makes a little more sense after that.

He’s standing behind the counter, a towel draped over his shoulder and there are several pieces of hair she’d like to do something about. Brush away. Slowly. Possibly romantically.

She feels a little drunk already.

“What’s your poison, love?” Emma’s laugh is far too loud. It soars out of her, makes her body shake and forces the edge of the counter into her stomach. She’s leaning over the counter. “You can’t use that when you have actual customers, you know,” she says. “They’ll walk out.” “That’s a legitimate question.” “No, it’s not. That’s a bad pun used in, like, movies from the 70s.” “Ah, we haven’t really focused on movies from the 70s, yet, have we?” Emma stops laughing. Her lips feel very dry. “No,” she mutters. “Not yet.”

“And, strictly speaking, it was really more of a rhetorical question, than anything.” Killian grins again, crouching to grab a glass and his eyebrows do something absurd when he flips it. And catches it. “Also, are you suggesting you’re not an actual customer, Swan?”

She hopes her lips don’t actually crack right there.

That would be gross.

Super gross.

Not appropriate for a bar opening with all their friends around gross.

Emma shakes her head slowly, tongue flashing between her lips and he’s still smiling at her. She’s having a difficult time breathing. Which is also impressive since her mouth is hanging open. “I’m just, you know--” “Right,” Killian says, nudging a glass of whiskey towards her hands. It’s filled to the brim. “You are my favorite customer. Bar none.” “Was that also a joke?” “Not intentionally.” “Impressive, then.” He hums, another twist of eyebrows. “Right? You want to watch me throw glassware again?” “Do not throw glasses,” Robin calls from the other side of the bar. Emma laughs again. And Killian’s smile softens, eyes falling back to Emma when his hand tugs on the hair behind his ear.

“I’m going to throw more glasses.” “Oh, I know you are,” Emma says, and it sounds like a promise.

He only breaks one, a fact he’s quick to point out, hours later, tucked into the corner with his arm around Emma and her head on his shoulder.

She doesn’t notice anyone else staring at them.

 “You kiss him yet?” Ruby asks, perched on the edge of Emma’s desk the day before they’re supposed to leave for the rehearsal dinner. “Get off there.” “Yes or no?” “No.” “You want to?” “Obviously.” Ruby chuckles, but it’s almost sympathetic. “Yeah, I figured. He’s probably going to die when he sees your dress.”

“How many shoes are you bringing?” Killian calls from the other side of the apartment and Emma’s not sure when she just started coming there consistently, but it must have been after the Disney thing and he really liked Tangled. She can’t even make fun of that.

She really likes Tangled.

“Uh…three?” “Three?” “That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

He leans around the bedroom door, skepticism painted on every single inch of his face. “Three? Should I be bringing three pairs of shoes?”

Emma waves her hands through the air, and she’s going to have to leave soon. She’s got to get up to drive out to some castle on Long Island and of course Regina is getting married on a castle on Long Island. There’s going to be so much weekender traffic heading East.

And she’s not entirely sure why she’s being asked these kinds of questions, but everything has been so easy and hanging out isn’t that, so much as it’s just existing in each other’s spaces.

Like they’re supposed to.

Cowardly and a great, big giant liar, kind of petulant, just sort of a jerk, so goddamn depressed she’s positive she reeks with it and an incredible over-packer.

Three pairs of shoes is entirely unnecessary.

“Your heels, sneakers and flats?” Killian lists, still twisted and the door frame must be pressing into his liver.

“Nah, two pairs of flats.” “That was my second guess.” “Sure it was. What time are you going to leave tomorrow?” Emma asks. She jumps off the couch, swinging open the refrigerator door in a familiar way and he’s started buy vanilla coke zero. He never drinks it.

Emma averages two cans a day.

“Killian?” she continues, flinching when she feels a hand curling around her shoulder. “God, don’t sneak up on me like that. I definitely could have punched you in the face.”

He laughs, the feel of it brushing against the side of her neck and that one very specific spot behind her ear and Emma knows there are goosebumps on her skin. She bites her lower lip. “I really doubt that, love. Think of all the damage you could inflict.” “Far too confident in your own good looks.” “Undoubtedly.”

She doesn't giggle. She will tell herself that for several hours later that night, she’s sure. She does, at least smile, head falling back without her explicit permission. Killian doesn’t flinch. “What time?’ she asks again. “There’s going to be so much traffic on the Expressway.” “We’ll take the Northern State.” “Oh, that’s even--wait, did you say we?” He spins her, quick enough that her socks squeak on the linoleum floor. The tips of his ears have gone red. “A thought,” Killian murmurs. “More efficient. Something about our carbon footprints. And I just--I thought maybe we could talk.” “You don’t want to talk now?” “How much whiskey have you had?” “Not a ton,” Emma sputters, but Killian is impossibly good at reading her and she’s honestly the world’s worst liar. “How much rum have you had?” “Enough.”

She narrows her eyes, suspicion fluttering at the base of her skull. "What are you thinking?"

"How do you know I'm thinking anything?"

"You're doing that thing with your face." And for how narrow her eyes were, or, maybe, still are, Killian's widen to a near-comical size, taking up half his face and Emma grits her teeth. Hard. It makes her jaw ache. "I just..." she stammers, waving her hands in the air. That is not making it less awkward. "Well, you have a face."

"I think you may be drunk."

"You wan to talk about secret things!"

Killian sighs out a sound that isn't quite a laugh, but may just be the audible version of very real nerves and Emma continues to ignore the fluttering. It's not quite suspicion anymore, so much as it's...fear. That's absurd. She's got nothing to be scared of. This is fine. It's fine. They're going to drive to a castle and fake everything and lie to several people if they ask and she assumes Cora only stocks her open bars with top shelf liquor. 

So, that's, like, a very real positive. 

And yet. 

She's scared and nervous and scared, again, just for good measure. That this very real, very good thing, that is also the most positive anything she can remember having in forever is about to blow up. Right in her face. 

Emma wishes he weren't actually her soulmate. 

It'd be easier that way.

"Not secret, love," Killian mutters, and she hasn't been breathing. "Important. That's--" His teeth find his lip, fingers tugging on the back of his hair. "--I think we should both be pretty sober for it." “Ok...so you want to drive out to the castle--” “--Oheka,” Killian interrupts. “That was on the invitation, love.” “Please, like you’ve done anything with the invitation except glare at it for costing too much.” “It’s Oheka. It’s very fancy. Very famous. I can pick you up tomorrow. I don’t mind driving.” Emma nods. “Or, um...well, my stuff is already in my car. I threw it in there today so I didn’t have to worry about it tomorrow. I figured I’d leave early so I’d beat the traffic.” “You brought all your stuff here?” Killian asks, and the hint of hope in his voice feels cruel and unusual. Emma’s a cop. She knows how that works. She’s torturing herself though, so that’s probably different. “Stay here then.” It’s not a question. It’s a hope and a want and she finds herself nodding again, the whiskey in her veins thrumming with the magic of everything and she needs to tell him. This is such a bad idea.

“Ok.” “Ok.” They spend no more than five minutes arguing sleeping arrangements, Emma rolling her eyes dramatically and Killian huffing and it’s pointless because she’s pretty positive they both want to sleep in the bed and, well...they do. It’s the best she’s slept in years, an easy rest that feels deeper than REM and like the start of something and everything and she moves her car into Killian’s spot after he grabs her bag out of the backseat.