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Plo: whoops, how clumsy of me I have dropped some inappropriate (wink) literature in the workplace, but zounds! I am needed in the next room. I hope no one accidentally picks it up and reads it! (Hurries off leaving suspicious pamphlet on the ground)

Fox: is your General trying to sneak you porn? (Takes nonplussed sip of caf)

Wolffe: no he's trying to get us to unionize.

Fox: (spits out caf)

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“Dear Force,” he prays. Threatens. He’s arriving at the bargaining stage from left to catch it off guard. “Have I not suffered enough?”

“Mrrrrp!”

“Quiet over there, I’m trying to reach a mystical entity.”

“Myam!”

“Thanks, Ponds. Knew I could count on you.”

Sitrep. Cody’s currently trying to take a nap. It is not going well.

“Why didn’t you turn into shrimp or something easy,” he mutters, shoving the pillow up with his shoulder.

He’s had an incredibly long night in the Jedi Archives trying to help find texts that might help his batchmates turn back into the humanoid assholes they are.

“Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

“Watch the hair, Wolffe.”

Wolffe chooses to ignore him, naturally. He continues impersonating a broken speeder and kneading Cody’s head.

Bly is— “Meep!” - still stuck behind Cody’s back.

Right. Nap.

His head kind of slumps back with the sigh, the stress flowing out of his shoulders like water down a stream—

There’s a rustling. One of them jumps on the couch, it seems.

Silence.

Cody deigns to open one eye and watches as Ponds drags a Jedi robe onto the backrest before nesting in it in quick, efficient moves.

“Is that General Windu’s,” he asks as if he actually wants to know.

As an answer he gets a stuck up tail and a frankly unnecessary view of his brother’s butthole before limbs, tail, and head are tugged into the fluffy ball of fur.

Alright. Time to close his eyes again.

Crossing his arms, he wriggles around until he’s - “Meep?!” - comfortable. Wolffe is still kneading, Bly is fighting a cushion, Ponds is living Cody’s dreams by being asleep and snoring—

“If you stick your tongue into my ear again, I’ll shoot you into orbit, Fox.”

“Rrya?”

“Yeah yeah, come here, you fool.”

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The fanon concept of Fox killing Palpatine in almost every fic, art or text post is hillarious because it really shows how many of us can empathize with some dude who wants to kill his boss. Only Fox’s boss is the incarnate of all things evil and not just some dude who needs to get his life together

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hiii, this might be weird, but who is Lazarus? I'm not religious, so I've tried searching for who he is, but I can't seem to get a clear answer and was wondering if you could explain him?

ah yes, lazarus of bethany. a man i consider to be equal parts friend and foe.

lazarus lived in bethany with his two sisters, mary and martha. and when we meet him, he’s sick. so much so that his sisters send for jesus of nazareth saying, “lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

jesus of nazareth was in jerusalem when he received the message. and despite being only a few miles from bethany, and despite jesus loving martha and mary and lazarus, he waited. he didn’t go to them straight away. he waited. he waited until lazarus died and then said, “lazarus’ sickness will not end in death. no, it happened for the glory of god so that the son of god will receive glory from this.”  

and when jesus finally made it to bethany he was told lazarus had already died. that he has already been in the grave for four days. and when martha, sister of lazarus got word that jesus was coming, she went to meet him. and mary, sister of lazarus did not. and when martha saw jesus she said to him, “lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

and jesus said to her, “your brother will rise again.”

but then mary arrived and she saw jesus and she fell at his feet and she said, “lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” and she wept over her brother. because she loved him and he was gone. and jesus should have been there. because if jesus had been there, her brother would not have died.

and jesus saw her weeping. and he saw the other people wailing with her. because lazarus was deeply loved. and now he was gone. and they had sent for jesus. they had prayed for a miracle. and that miracle didn’t come until it was four days too late. and they didn’t know that jesus was going to bring lazarus back. they didn’t know that jesus had waited that long to teach a lesson. to prove a point. they just knew jesus was too late. and now they were forced to grieve.

and then a deep anger welled up in jesus. and he was deeply troubled. and jesus asks, “where have you put him?” and the people say, “lord, come and see.” and he does. and when he sees, jesus weeps. when he sees, we get the shortest verse in the bible. a mere two words to sum up an entire town’s grief. two words to convey the loss of a sibling. two words are offered for the preventable death of a loved man.

jesus is four days too late. and jesus?

jesus wept.

and the people who loved lazarus turned to him and said to jesus, “see how much he loved him!”

jesus loved lazarus. and then he let him die.

and some of the people said about jesus “this man healed a blind man. couldn’t he have kept lazarus from dying?”

and then jesus, who knew all along that he would revive lazarus. jesus, who let all those people mourn. jesus, who let those sisters lose their brother. jesus, who let them weep. jesus, who wept with them. that very same jesus said to those who loved lazarus, who mourned him, jesus of nazareth said to them, “didn’t i tell you that you would see god’s glory if you believe?”

and then the stone of lazarus’ tomb was rolled aside. and then jesus looked up to heaven and said, “father, thank you for hearing me. you always hear me, but i said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” and then jesus shouted, “lazarus, come out!” and he did.

lazarus the dead man came out, his hands and feet and face wrapped still in burial cloth. and then jesus of nazareth told them, “unwrap him and let him go!”

and then lazarus of bethany became lazarus of the grave. lazarus of the grave that will never be left behind even though he has risen and relinquished. lazarus of the grave who did not make good his escape unscathed. lazarus of the grave who will now check each darkened doorway as death and his sting is keenly felt.

lazarus was a man. a man whose family loved him. a man whose sisters sent for a miracle. a man whose sisters mourned him in the four days it took for that miracle to show up. a man who was made an example for no reason other than being loved by jesus. a thing that we are all told to be. loved by our savior.

lazarus is a man who makes me wonder three things. firstly, if jesus had been there that my brother may not have died. secondly, if jesus of nazareth too weeps for me. and thirdly, if jesus loves us and we in turn love him too like the scriptures command, why does he use us in the lessons he teaches.

why must we be the men he makes believers of?

so lazarus was just a man whose crime was loving jesus. and martha was just a girl whose crime was loving her brother. and they both suffered a miracle because of it.

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Shrek 2, while a cinematic masterpiece, is also an interesting look at queerness and comp het.

Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)

But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.

And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?

And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.

Shrek goes to the Fairy Godmother and oh honey, ogres don't live happily ever after. It's just not done. It hasn't happened in all of fairy tale history. You have to change the both of you to be happy. You have to present as a prince and a princess. It will be better. You'll fit in better that way. You'll be accepted that way.

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Just kidding can you imagine if i did this 30 times

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nothing better than the wrong capitalization of Sie

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Home protection ideas for ladies. Stay safe, queens!

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the jedi order having like a fun little internal newspaper that padawans get rotated onto to learn responsibility and how to report objectively on things while being mindful of not writing sensationalised gossip, and it's a good, fondly thought of tradition...

then anakin is rotated onto it.

now, everyone expects anakin to be a gossip. they think the magazine is going to enter a trashy teen mag phase (which happened when Quinlan Vos was the lead back when be was a padawan, and had pioneered the 'Rate Your Master' column that has persevered to this day), but oh no, anakin takes it in an entirely wild direction.

the first article he publishes is about some mysterious green blur in the room of a thousand fountains by the pond, titled 'THE TEMPLE'S CRYPTID: FROGEATER'. and anakin like, has taken sourced accounts of this cryptid running loose in the room of a thousand fountains, preying on the innocent frogs - won't someone think of the frogs? is it not a jedi's duty to protect the most vulnerable!? it is a crime that the jedi council don't launch an investigation into the existence of frogeater, etc etc.

thing is, frogeater is clearly yoda. everyone knows it. anakin knows it. he just dropped the grenade and wanted to see what would happen.

yoda, during a council meeting, very serious faced: look into this frogeater, we should. very concerning, it is, for the frogs. young skywalker is right, that defend the most vulnerable, we must.

and mace just. stares. at yoda. yoda stares back. mace gives in.

officially and publicly the jedi order launch an investigation into the frogeater. anakin, embolden, takes that as the green light to pretty much report on anything so much considered cryptid sightings. and no one can stop him either bc his articles are well-formatted and he lists his sources so he's technically not doing anything wrong.

the frogeater is never officially found, and long after anakin was rotated out from the mag, it has become a running joke for the magazine to periodically run a story on the elusive frogeater, with a new, blurred photo each time.

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Moving house tomorrow

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community notes are so brutal. tumblr needs to add that feature to escalate our pvp capabilities

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People turning against Chappell Roan for not accepting harassment & stalking of her and her family, saying Hozier is acting embarrassing for defending his girlfriend THAT Y'ALL WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT after she got harassed online, calling Pedro Pascal names for.. apparently not greeting fans loudly in his own private time?

Y'all have GOT to get a grip on real life if you think celebs establishing boundaries is working against you. You do not know these people, you will not sleep with these people and they do not owe you anything!!!!!!