#the only reason i was here anyways was for the damn coupon

[howlingwolf23]

My boomer take is if I have a paper coupon, I should be able to walk in to the establishment and use it.

No online order, no app, no sign on login, no create an account.

I have physical coupon, in the physical, non digital world. You can hold it, touch it, caress it, eat it.

I am in your physical business, physically present. Maybe not mentally but that has never mattered.

And, amazingly enough, with physical money. Almost nobody has folding money anymore. It's all credit cards and cash apps.

I should not have to get into the digital world, send information into outerspace and back where you try and harvest me for my data further, for you to accept it. You are already taking my money, isn't that enough for you greedy bastards?

Let's just do this old school, Amish style and get this transaction taken care of without being traced by the FBI or VISA.

[halaboyz]

back to me, cjh

pairing: non-idol! jongho x gn! reader genre: fluff wc: 1.9k warnings: profanities ! n/a: tell me WHY jongho is the best to play jiang chen

"Jongho! I heard you like cotton candies, I brought one for you!" You hand him a stick of pink cotton candy, your head peeking out on the side as you beamed at him.

"You heard wrong." Jongho simply shrugs and walks away, leaving you dumbfounded and betrayed. At least he bore effort to give you a glance.

"Jung Wooyoung, you piece of shit," You mumble, glaring at the said man two feet away behind a pillar, laughing his ass off. After throwing him your middle finger, you stomp to the nearest trash can to throw the sweet thing in your hand. You didn't like it either.

Your eyes softened when you see Jongho's back as it fades through the crowd, pouting when he doesn't even look back to look at your devastated state.

It's not like it wasn't going to be happening tomorrow, anyway.

"Jongho! I got you an americano. This time, I got it from a trusted source," You confidently, yet carefully put the cup on his table, a nod coming with a smile that never fails to drop when he's in sight. "Hot americano, here is."

"I like cold better," He looks up at you nonchalantly, unconsciously waiting for the usual pout that forms on your lips whenever he turns you down. At the sight of the confused expression, he stifles a chuckle, looking down at the cup.

"Right. I should've asked what kind." You hiss at yourself, embarrassingly pressing your lips to a thin line. "I'll just—,"

"Thanks." Jongho interrupts you and gets the cup before you do, standing up to leave you squealing internally as he hides a smile.

He just finds you cute, that's all. He doesn't like you.

"Why would I?" Jongho squints his eyes at Hongjoong, who frustratedly, only sighed at him for having to confront him for the same thing for the nth time.

"You obviously like them back! What do you not understand that about yourself?!" Hongjoong runs his hand through his hair, feet stomping lightly on the ground. "You're so stupid and dense,"

"I don't. I appreciate them— okay maybe I find them cute. But I don't like them. I desperately want them off of my tail, because god knows how much I hate the attention," Jongho explains calmly, even though he needed to do this every now and then.

"Yeah but not with y/n you don't," Hongjoong rolls his eyes, leaving Jongho all alone in their hideout who only chuckled at how much it frustrated Hongjoong. Even though he can't understand why Hongjoong thinks he likes you, he still finds it amusing.

"Y'know, I genuinely agree with Hongjoong," Mingi finally speaks up, looking at Jongho who, though unconsciously once again, had a smile on his face. "See, you're smiling."

"I'm smiling because of Hongjoong— wait, that doesn't sound right,"

"Because you couldn't make it sound right unless you confess what you're actually smiling about," Mingi shrugs, letting Jongho to his thoughts.

"No. I don't," With his always-have-been-genuine friend talking, he finally lets the idea sit in his head. "I don't like them like that,"

"Okay, Jongho. This is my last straw," You've said that a thousand times before, there's no reason to be scared now. "If it isn't obvious, well, I like you, a whole damn lot." You rambled, and even though Jongho was just looking at the book in front of him, albeit not focusing on it but on your words, you continued. "Here's a box of tons of coupons, from that favorite cafe you always go to with Hong,"

His eyes squint at the nickname you have for his best friend, feeling something churn in his stomach. But he doesn't let you see that— in your case, it just comes unnoticed since you knew Jongho wouldn't even care for a second.

"And... a shit ton of boxes of coupons of my favorite chicken place there. I wasn't sure where you always eat, so that's a suggestion of mine." A giggle leaves your lips and Jongho swears that even though he despises sweet anythings, your giggles were an exception. "Please don't give it to Yeosang,"

Jongho peaks at the box you gave him second, and for the nth time around that day, he hides a smile. It was the same as his favorite.

When he finally hears you shuffling around your bag, he still feels your gaze on him as you stood still, he wonders if you were only waiting for him to reply.

"Thank you," He mumbles, and then he leaves his table with the boxes you just gave him to head to where his feet take him. Just like always.

"Did he really just...?" You frown, shoulders drooping. "I just got rejected... right?"

"It's not the first time." Wooyoung snickers from the back, an amused smirk on his face.

"But definitely is the last time," You sigh, taking the seat beside him as you looked outside the windows, to the field where Jongho just entered, joining his group of friends play soccer.

"Wait what?" Wooyoung stands up from his seat, eyebrows connected in one line. "Are you thinking straight right now?"

"I am. For the love of god, I know when to stop. I just got rejected for the 58th time." You pout, but it turns to a smile when you see how Jongho smiled when he got the ball, shooting it to the goalpost.

"Yeah— exactly. And you're stopping now?" Wooyoung didn't seem to get the point. You were rejected continuously, though indirectly, but why stop now? What was the difference? What would be different if you were to confess again tomorrow, get rejected, who knows if Jongho makes a miracle and accepts your confession tomorrow? Who knows, right?

"Look, Woo, I get how much you're confused right now, but it's literally so obvious. I should've gotten the hint the first time, he doesn't like me, nor will he ever, because like what I said, damn, 58th time?" You scowled at yourself, sighing. "I like him, but I care for myself too, you know."

"...Fine, whatever you say."

And you were a man of your words.

The next day came, and as much as you liked to pester Jongho to death, you keep it to yourself.

Jongho just... stares, well, at his book that was sprawled to a random page when feels you walk past him without a cheerful 'Hi Jongho!' as you always did. Or maybe you did, and he just missed it. He hopes he did.

But when it happens the second time around, on the same day, he comes running to his two closest friends with a face his friends have never seen him have before— something between confusion and worry.

"Emergency." Jongho breathlessly says before taking the seat beside Mingi.

"What the fuck?" Hongjoong raises his brow before worriedly running closer to his friend. "What happened?"

"y/n isn't y/n." Hongjoong's worried face turns into a scornful one, rolling his eyes as hard as he can. "I think they're avoiding me."

"Oh yeah? Good for them," Hongjoong snickers, and this time around, Jongho reacts at Hongjoong's words as he should.

"Hongjoong, I'm being serious here! y/n can't do that, they wouldn't ever! They haven't ever! I never believed the last straws they said, they've said it a lot before already, and..."

"And what, now you're bitching because they finally realized that being ignored is not what they deserve?" Mingi calmly explains to Jongho who now just realized how bad the situation is— was. "y/n was nothing but kind to you, and lovely. What they least deserved— apart from being ignored, is being lead on."

"You obviously liked them, like what I've said for the past 58 times they confessed to you, but you were so caught up to your ass saying you don't like the attention, you don't like them like that, blah blah,"

"I get it now, Joong. Stop it," Jongho sulks, pouting as he shamefully looks down. "I thought I just found them cute. How will I ever know..."

"Look, just get your bitchy ass up and apologize, we're not going to sit around hearing you cry your shit. Feelings don't fade in a day. Apologize and confess— do your best to get them back because damn I wouldn't jump on you after you made me feel like I'm not worth it," Hongjoong shakes his head and if it wasn't for him making sense, Jongho would've punched the hell out of the older man because of his choice of words.

So he just jumps out of their hideout and immediately runs to find you, only to see you bonding with Wooyoung, more intimate than he would like to see. Wooyoung had his arms around your shoulder as you laughed around your own circle of friends.

"Okay, maybe it's time to back out,"

"We said quit bitching around. y/n confessed to you almost 60 times and you quit even before one?" Mingi stands straight behind him, arms crossed over his chest.

"You followed me?"

"To make sure." Hongjoong and Mingi shrug, closing in on Jongho to bring him closer to you, five steps away. "Now go," And with one final push, Jongho is in front of you, lost his cool and fiddling with his sweater paws.

"y/n, hi." He timidly says, swallowing the dry lump in his throat. "Can we talk?" Wooyoung cautiously removes his arm from your shoulders when he gets a glance of the once fiddling fingers stop and then fisted it, staring at his arms that lay on your shoulders.

"...Me?" Your eyes widen, pointing at yourself. "Uhm, okay," You carefully stand up from your seat, following him to the school garden. "What is it?" You felt thrilled. Even though you were very confused, a smile kept playing on the corners of your lips.

"I uh... just wanted to... you know, say something." You nod your head for him to continue. "Sorry, most of all. If ever I had led you on... ignored you, made you feel less worthy of what you really are, made you feel like you deserved everything I just said—,"

"It's nothing," You shake him off, "And no, you didn't make me feel any of that. I just stopped because... I just came to the realization that I can't push you to liking me. If you don't, you don't. That's that." You shrug, and it makes him more nervous.

"Well that's kinda it," He sighs, a little deeper than he intended, but maybe that's what he needed.

"Look, Jongho, it's really okay. I understand and you can still keep those coupons," You chuckle, but he still was very, very itching to say something. "...I swear it's—,"

"I like you too." Jongho blurts out, "That's so fucked up for me to say after a day you just avoided me, I know, but... I'm sorry," He sighs, but he finally feels relieved that he's let out everything he had been, as he realized, keeping for so long.

When a giggle emits from you, followed by a wholehearted laugh, he feels his heart at ease because maybe, just maybe, you still liked him just as much as you did yesterday even with the things he did. Maybe more.

"Why am I not surprised... Jung Wooyoung that son of a bitch. Should've kept the thrill." You sigh, taking a step closer to hold his hand.

"What?"

"Wooyoung kinda figured it out a while back and I was kinda convinced about it," You nod, a smile bigger than ever growing on your lips. As you hold his hand in yours, your thumb naturally caressed the back of his palm.

"You're unbelievable," Jongho finally heaves a smile as he instinctively pulls you close to his warmth, making you squeal on the inside, "And just how I like you,"

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[saladbroth]

ok for the one sentence story starter thingymathing

"shopping is what I call my number one hobby"

ceejie!! thank you so much for this, this whole thing got away from me, like, massively askdshfg i honestly have no idea what happened but i hope you like it!!

(send me a first sentence and i'll write a short fic for it :)) )

“Shopping is what I call my number one hobby,” Reggie says and smiles proudly. Alex sighs behind him. “It’s really not.”

Willie looks between the both of them with an amused smile and Reggie’s standing close enough to hear Alex’s breath hitch just the tiniest bit. He’s pathetic, really and Reggie would make fun of him if the two of them weren’t in basically the exact same situation.

“You don’t know that,” Reggie protests, turning around to Alex who shoots him an incredulous look. Reggie knows what he just said is a bit dumb, but in all fairness he can’t really think all that reasonably anyways, and especially not when it’s nearing one in the morning and they’ve both had a fair amount to drink.

“Yes I do,” Alex protests. “We’re literally best friends, you idiot. We’re in a band. You hate shopping.”

“Yeah but he doesn’t know that,” Reggie hisses back, then turns to Willie who looks like he’s holding back laughter. “Well now he does.”

Willie does. “Now he does indeed, but I already knew that before you guys said anything. Hobby shoppers are usually coupon addicts as well, and I’ve never seen either of you with one.”

Reggie regards him for a moment, then nods. “I didn’t even know there was something like a coupon addict.”

“They’re awful,” a voice behind them says and Reggie whirls around fast enough to lose his balance. Alex, the asshole, doesn’t make any move to catch him but Bobby does, steadying him with a hand on his arm. Reggie doesn’t even have it in him to glare at Alex, heat crawling up the back of his neck.

Thing is, both him and Alex may have tiny crushes on the employees of their local non-chain grocery store. Maybe not so tiny crushes considering they come here basically every day and they decided to come here after getting drunk with Luke. And considering they know both their names and they both know their names back.

But it really isn’t Reggie’s fault that Bobby is tall and broad and has super pretty hair and eyes and a nice smile and a deep voice and good humour and that they talk to Reggie because this store is somehow always empty when Reggie comes in.

Plus, it’s totally understandable that Alex can’t take his eyes off Willie because Willie is pretty with the long hair and bright smile, and also they ran Alex over with a shopping cart train in the parking lot once, which basically made Alex fall in love, heaven knows why.

So yeah. Really it’s the store’s fault for hiring insanely attractive people who are down to talk to customers on late night shifts.

Reggie clears his throat. “They are?”

Bobby nods, keeping his hand on Reggie’s arm. “They buy a fuckton of product which normally would be good because we’d make big profit but then they pull out their coupons and it always takes ages to process them and they have so much stuff that usually it’s at least one hour until we’re done.”

“And they’re all incredibly entitled,” Willie adds. “Last week one of our regular couponers had some that were expired and we’re not allowed to apply these codes and she threw a fit because she had to pay thirty dollars instead of fifteen.”

“Ew.” Alex pulls a face, and Reggie nods in agreement. Willie laughs and Reggie would make fun of Alex for his face going red immediately if Bobby didn’t chuckle next to him. Because damn, he knows he’s not sober and that magnifies the effect but Bobby’s laugh really is something else.

“God, I hate customers,” Bobby mumbles and Willie agrees. “They’re awful.”

The two of them must notice the deer in the headlights look Alex and Reggie share because Willie immediately rushes to add on. “Not you guys though, you’re pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” Bobby agrees. “You don’t complain and you look at signs yourself instead of asking where the cereal is when it literally says that on the fucking aisle.”

Reggie grins. They come here a lot, they do, but Alex and him have never attempted to talk to Willie or Bobby via feigning to neep help because Alex’s anxiety is too bad for that and Reggie feels bad for it. They just sort of looked at other stuff to start conversations over.

He’s trying to forget the one time he asked Bobby if they come here often, but to be fair Bobby’d worn a tight long sleeved shirt and Reggie’s had a crush on Luke and his arms a few years ago for a reason.

Alex cards a hand through his hair then looks around and sighs. “I forgot what we were here for.”

“Water!” Reggie exclaims. “We wanted water and then you wanted to get ice cream or something for dinner.”

“Ice cream is not dinner,” Bobby says. “And it’s almost two in the morning.”

“Dinner is a state of mind,” Reggie says and Alex nods wisely. “We regularly have ice cream dinners. Or microwave popcorn. It’s hard to have real food when your idiot bandmate makes you practice until the middle of the night and then immediately passes out so you can’t cook.”

Reggie nods and turns to look at Bobby’s who’s got a worried crease between his brows now. “You should come to our next gig, I promise we’re really good.”

“You too,” Alex follows up, leaning closer to Willie. “If you want to, of course. Only then. Sorry, this is probably really unprofessional and you shouldn’t date- I mean go on a date with customers. Not that it’s a date if you don’t want it to be, but if you do but-”

“I’d love to,” Willie interrupts with one of their bright smiles which shuts Alex up immediately.

“This isn’t some agency, we can date customers all we like,” Bobby says at the same time and Reggie nearly chokes on his own spit. “What?”

Bobby looks sheepish all of a sudden and Reggie’s not sure if he’s imagining it or if they’re actually blushing a little. “I mean, if you’d like that to be a date I wouldn’t mind it.”

“Holy shit.” Reggie says. “Yeah, of course.”

Bobby smiles and squeezes Reggie’s arm a bit. He shares a wide eyed look with Alex, because really, neither of them expected at all that the night would go like this. Willie pushes a bit of hair out of their face.

“Just remind us to take you guys out for proper dinner at some point.”

[bigskydreaming]

I kinda wanna fucking scream, so here, have a offline bullshit rant post.

So I’ve literally been trying to get my stupid fucking meds for over a MONTH now at this point, which I’m sure you can all see like, my mood is just wooooonderful these days. Not an excuse, casual reminder that yeah you do gotta take care of your own space so if my mood is dragging anyone down, I’m totes on board with blocking or unfollowing or y’know, burning me in effigy or something. Okay maybe not that last part. But still. You get it. And its not even that like, I need mood stabilizers per se, lol, so shout out to the armchair diagnosticians helpfully peppering my inbox still in their quest to oh so slickly be like ‘hey you’re a hot mess, take your hot messness away from tumblr’ like lol, didn’t ask.....nah, its mostly the perpetual lack of sleep and chronic pain issues that I have zero distraction from when my specific combo of meds isn’t able to let me actually weaponize my ADHD properly and power through that. Its a whole thing. Whatever. Just go with it.

POINT IS. So I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now, first obstacle was even just getting the money together for my refill appointment which is a whopping $150, because I have to pay out of pocket for mental health stuff these days because I had to switch my insurance over to something that paid out more heavily for physical benefits like my jaw surgery.....and because of the pandemic, and how many psychiatrists in my area and that I could actually reach aren’t taking new patients during the pandemic since most of them are conducting business virtually still, like, I have barely any resources for seeking out and trying new psychiatrist offices in the meanwhile that might charge less and I’m kinda stuck with the one I have because the last thing I can afford is to have like, NO psychiatrist at the moment, y’know?

So first I had to have that to even BOOK the appointment, which took forever because rent and food are a joy to accrue when you can barely manage to function as an actual employee of the capitalist machine ahfsklhflkahflakf, but so then I did that and like, got an appointment put on the books for August 19th. That was the soonest they could fit me in back when I paid them for my appointment about a week and a half ago. No, two weeks ago now? Eh, time is fake. ANYWAY, so that wasn’t gonna work for me, so basically the entirety of last week was devoted to constantly calling and trying to check in every other hour to see if they had any sooner cancellations I could take, because for whatever fucking reason, they just ‘don’t do’ a cancellation list wherein they call the next person on the list once they have a cancellation. Whatever.

So finally got a cancellation slot with a virtual appointment last Saturday night at random as fuck 8:40. Okay cool. Most of my refills are fairly simple, no real changes, but two are controlled substances so like, they have to do their due diligence and go through the proper protocols before giving me another prescription to one or whatever. Fine. Okay.

So I call the CVS they sent the prescription for my ADHD med to, the very next morning. One of the controlled substances, and the key med to like....making me functional instead of a rambling disjointed whirlibird of a thought emitter. Problem is, that medication is on back order. Won’t be in until Tuesday. Ugh. Okay, fine. Nothing I can do about it, because while the specific provider I spoke to in order to GET my refill prescriptions was taking an appointment the night before, the actual offices that schedule appointments and connect patients through to their providers was closed for the weekend, so I couldn’t even ask for them to send the scrip somewhere else.

SO. I go back to the CVS on Monday, hoping that maybe it came in early because not like I can do much else in the meanwhile. Course its not there, but oh well. I toy with the idea of calling to ask my provider to send the scrip to a different pharmacy (only had it sent to this one cuz its within walking distance to me, and since I can’t drive for medical reasons and Uber’s are expensive as fuck, just for errands, like, even though walking is sooooo not fun for me physically, like it is what it is). I decide against it because here’s another fun fact about this controlled substance....for security reasons, pharmacies don’t have to tell people over the phone if they have it in stock or not. Like, they won’t just say no we don’t have it in stock - I mean, they WILL say that, but that doesn’t actually mean anything because that’s what most of them say about that particular medication no matter whether or not they DO, and then just cite security protocols, so you have to actually GO to the store in question to ask them and even get a real answer to whether or not they even HAVE it in stock to FILL a prescription if its sent over. And no, the provider won’t just send scrips into several different pharmacies at once and just be whichever has it in stock can fill it - because again, controlled substance.

SO. I decide its not worth it to try getting the scrip sent over somewhere else, because I’d have to at least waste money on an Uber to even travel to various pharmacies and even check if they CAN fill it sooner than this one, when at least this place will have it in tomorrow. Its just one more day at this point.

Except then I go back on Tuesday. Oh sorry, don’t know why that other person told you we’d have our order in today, our shipments of that medication don’t come in until Wednesdays.

So I go back Wednesday. Success! They have it in stock. I go to pay, pulling out my goodRx coupon that was just printed out that morning, specifically citing the price for CVS at Target. The pharmacy manager says sorry, we don’t honor that coupon here for controlled substances like this one. I say: record scratch? He’s like yeah, that’s at the discretion of individual pharmacies, and we don’t honor that price for this specific medication, because we don’t want to attract customers only coming here to get that medication filled for that price. (This pharmacy is right at the edge of Inglewood and Culver City, for anyone who is familiar with those neighborhoods. The implications are exactly as they appear to be). So I’m like, what’s the regular generic price? He quotes me something that’s $180 more than the coupon, and thus $180 more than I have since I was focused totally on getting THIS amount ASAP, so I could get these meds so I could do more work and make more money. You see the train of thought. I’m like well that’s awesome, I don’t have anything close to that. Hey. Weird question. Why did nobody I talked to the past three days in a row that I’ve walked into this store in person to request this refill, like, mention this little tidbit about not honoring this coupon so instead of waiting for a backorder that would do me no good, I could have been spending that time having my prescription transferred somewhere that WOULD honor it?

He’s like, well did you mention to any of them that you’d be using a goodRx coupon for this particular medication? I said, yup. He said, you sure? I said well the specific process each time was I came in, I asked if this medication was in, they said what’s your name and date of birth, I provided that info, they said are you paying out of pocket, we don’t have valid insurance info for this on file for you, I said yup paying out of pocket with a goodRx coupon, they said *clickety clack of the keyboard* nope, sorry, we won’t have this medicine in until Tuesday, I mean Wednesday. 

He’s like, well you must be misremembering or they would have told you at the time that we don’t take GoodRx coupons on this medication. I’m like, dude, it was you. It was literally you that I spoke to two of those three times, right here at the counter, in person. I’m gonna go ahead and trust my memory of those interactions and what was said there over yours since you don’t actually remember having talked to me two times in the last three days. He’s like, I gotta go help another customer. There is no other customer. I leave. Fun day for everyone.

So then I call around town to at least check which CVS will actually honor the coupon I have and the price that I can afford to pay it at. I don’t bother asking if they even have the medication in stock because I know its not guaranteed to be a CORRECT answer, but at least I can see who accepts this damn coupon. Also, reason I’m only trying big brand pharmacies instead of smaller, hole in the wall ones is because again, controlled substance, and I know from experience that the bigger brand pharmacies are at least more likely to have that med in stock whereas most smaller ones tend to run out very quickly as they usually only get enough for their existing/regular customers and a little extra.

I find a CVS five miles away - not walkable, gonna have to Uber. Call my psychiatrist office again to ask them to transfer the scrip, front office says they’ll send the request to my provider, who usually checks and fulfills such requests in 24-48 hours. I’m like okay cool, can I get a phone call to let me know when that happens, so at least I know when to check back to follow up if it hasn’t happened yet for whatever reason? They’re like no, the pharmacy will send you a text or call when they get the prescription sent over and you can take it from there with them. I’m like okay, but I’ve done this a bunch of times and know from experience the pharmacy does NOT in fact always call or text, so is there a certain time to follow up to inquire if the provider has already sent the scrip and the pharmacy SHOULD have it by now or if the delay is on the provider’s end? Front office is like yeah no. I’m like, swell.

So that was yesterday. I call the pharmacy (which I still don’t even know if they have the medication IN STOCK to fill the scrip even once they GET the scrip, and won’t until I can actually Uber out there, but one thing at a time at this point) at like 9 pm, they’re a 24 hour pharmacy, and they’re like nope, we got nothing (this is after spending an hour and a half on hold to even TALK to someone at the pharmacy). Called them again today at noon, still nada. Technically I have another 29 hours before the window in which the provider is supposed to send the refill scrip to this new location, before I can be like, okay so they still haven’t done it, can we send him a nudge or another request. The 24-48 hour window will only actually EXPIRE after their offices close on Friday meaning it’ll be Monday before I can even actually REACH someone again to ask them to send the scrip again, if the pharmacy hasn’t ACTUALLY gotten it by Friday night, and pessimistically, I’m not super inclined to assume that they will at this point. 

I’m antsy, irritable, hungry because I don’t even know for SURE sure if the new pharmacy will ACTUALLY honor the coupon or say no sorry we don’t do that here either, whoever told you that was wrong, or if they’ll even actually have it in stock versus I’ll have to have it sent somewhere else AGAIN, so I have to pinch every penny possible in order to ensure I have the most money possible once my prescription IS filled in case the price is more than I expected again or in case I have to take Ubers there or further than I expected or basically....shit happens that I don’t expect. And this is what I’m basically spending all my time doing instead of working, because trying to get work done in this state is like....the harder I try to make it happen, the less it actually gets done, so I try and prioritize this and its roadblock after roadblock dragging out and wasting my time, and like yeah, I can post and shit while I’m doing this aka sitting on hold or walking around town trying to get shit filled because its fine if I ramble incoherently along the way in posts, but actual WORK work requires like....fucking coherency and succinctness and not having to stop and start every five minutes to call someone else, and oh yeah, being able to power through migraine spikes. And just.

I’m very annoyed about anything and everything to do with this shit. The hoops you have to jump through to even get the stuff that like....actualizes your hoop jumping ability, is just....*gnashing of teeth*

Anyway. So that’s my offline bullshit rant. Yay. The end.

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Adore You (Yamato x Reader)

A/N: hi guys. Yamato is your secret admirer and you are desperate to find out who's been leaving all these gifts at your doorstep. Civilian reader. Will be two parts, and since i just found out i have the coronavirus and cant leave the house, i’ll be putting out the second part very soon.

Ps i headcanon that yamato would be very shy and awkward with his crush. i also think that when he is nervous he definitely has really sweaty hands. idk thats just the vibe i get from him lol. please enjoy.

Word count: 4500

Y/N walked down the street after a long day of working in the bakery, kneading dough and icing cakes and sweets. It was a great job, and she really enjoyed the company of the two elderly owners. In her arms was another small picnic basket filled with sourdoughs and garlic loaves and cinnamon raisin buns. Those leftovers served as her breakfast, lunch, and dinner most days and it saved a lot of money on groceries.

Sometimes, she gifted the bread to friends and family though, like tonight.

As she walked the bustling streets, people walking home from work for the night, she noticed a couple of familiar faces sitting in the windows of a nearby restaurant. Feeling a little social, she walked into the restaurant and turned the corner, walking through the tables and past other booths full of people talking and drinking. It was busy tonight in Konoha, everyone getting ready for the weekend.

She came to a stop beside their table, and shifted so her basket rested in the slight curve of her hip. With her free hand she waved to the men, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Kakashi, Yamato,” she chirped, “I saw you guys in the window on my way home from work and thought I’d stop in to say hello.”

“Y/N. What a pleasant surprise.” Kakashi hummed, peering over his glass of golden liquid at his friend, who he could tell was struggling to figure out what to say or do. Yamato wasn’t normally nervous; he was very cool headed. How else would he become such an important Anbu member? But around Y/N, this woman with flour dusted in her hair and the smell of cinnamon and chocolate on her clothes, he crumbled. Just that smell alone could make Yamato lose his composure. And Kakashi knew that very well. “As a matter of fact, we were just talking about you.”

Yamato coughed on his drink, covering his mouth with his arm to keep from spitting up on the table. Even if they were just talking about her, it was completely uncalled for for Kakashi to stab him in the back like that. He turned to face the young woman who looked down at him with curiosity in her eyes.

“Really? What about?” she questioned, raising a brow.

He averted his eyes to the table again where his hand rested clutching at the glass. “We were just discussing the bakery,” he explained sheepishly, a hand going to rub the back of his neck. He felt the stress coming on, and sweat was beginning to gather on his palms. He felt ill, and more importantly, upset with the friend sitting directly across from him, smirking under that damn mask.

What an evil bastard.

“Mind if I join you guys? I could definitely use a drink.” She motioned to the seat next to Yamato, and he scooted closer to the wall to make room for her. She made sure her basket was sealed and secure before reaching over the table to Kakashi. “Can you sit this next to you? I don’t wanna take up the whole table.”

“No problem.”

She slid into the seat beside Yamato, and he realized just how small their table really was. The chair was clearly made for one person, or maybe two small people. They were just inches away. He could literally feel the heat of her thigh beside his. He was losing his mind, he was sure of it. There was absolutely no reason to act or think this way just because of a woman, a little baker from the village. No reason. It was inappropriate.

He took a deep breath and sipped on his drink. Everything was cool. Y/N L/N was cool.

“What kind of goods are you bringing home tonight?” Yamato asked calmly.

“Uh, lets see. A sourdough loaf and a garlic rosemary loaf. Also, I have about eight cinnamon buns in there,” she listed off the top of her head, “Why? You wanna take some home with you, because that’s fine. I’m not gonna eat all of it.”

“No, not this time.”

“You, Kakashi?”

“Yeah, I’ll take whatever.” It was a free meal for the next day? How could he say no to that?

The waitress came around, and Y/N ordered a tall glass of some sweet drink, something she knew wouldn’t taste like shit but would get her all warm and cozy quick, fruit juice covering up the taste of poison. “So, what were you guys talking about before I came around? I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“It’s good you came around, actually. We could use a woman’s opinion here.” Yamato glared at Kakashi, pleading with everything he had for the copy nin to just leave it alone. Kakashi was set in his goals though, and pushed forward with what he was saying. “It’s about Tenzo.”

An even brighter smile grew on her lips, one full of mischief and curiosity. “Oohoho? I see. What’s got you men stuck?” She loved to gossip, it was just something so interesting in her mundane life. Surely, it wasn’t as interesting to shinobi who almost die all the time and always have something to do, but for a village girl who goes home every night to read and eat bread, and then go to work where she just makes and sells said bread, a bit of juicy personal information really intrigued her.

“It’s honestly not a big deal-”

“Our boy here, he’s got a crush.”

Her eyes widened and suddenly, she felt the urge to down even more of her drink. He was interested in someone? She never expected that. He was always so quiet and calm, and kept to himself. He didn’t seem like the type to ever care about someone in that way. She sighed, taking a long sip on her drink, which tasted like peaches and oranges. At least it was sweet enough to help her curb the impending sadness.

Maybe she was stupid for it, but she cared for Yamato. He was such a sweet and kind man, so earnest and gentle. He was everything good about her mornings, when he would walk in and ask for the same hot cross bun to start his day. He would smile and compliment the cake decorating she was working on, and tell her about his missions and what he had to do for the day.

Perhaps Y/N had the tiniest of crushes on Yamato. It was something she would never reveal to anyone else, but it was true. She couldn’t deny herself that fact.

Kakashi stared at the woman, gauging her reaction to the statement. From the way she immediately went to sip away half of the drink in her glass, and the way her shoulders curled in on themselves, he could guess how she was feeling. He wasn’t usually a fan of meddling in other people’s business, but he was beginning to feel tired of Yamato complaining day in and day out about how he could never get the girl or express his feelings. He was afraid of rejection, as sad as that might be.

He was just there to give them a push in the right direction.

“I see.”

“What do you think he should do? What do the civilian girls like?”

This crush was just another civilian. It would be one thing if he fell in love with a kunoichi, someone she would never be able to compete with, but the thought of him choosing another normal woman over her, the envy practically oozed from her pores. What did this other girl have that Y/N didn’t?

Y/N ordered another drink when the waitress walked by. And then another after she drank the second one. Might as well get more down and drown out these jealous thoughts.

Meanwhile, she listed off things that random women normally like when men do for them, things she didn't really care about like chocolates and asking them out to dinner and giving them stuffed animals. Boring things. Things they all already knew. Kakashi agreed that the advice was kinda bland, and he could have come up with that easily.

Yamato eyed her down nervously as she practically chugged the rest of her drink. The woman wasn’t a big drinker, just a couple innocent cocktails here or there, never with the intention of getting drunk.

“You okay, Y/N?”

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” she told him smoothly. “Anyway, I’m not done telling you all about us village girls.”

The third drink came by and she sighed, taking another long sip. At least it tasted good, that made it easy to drink and drink and drink.

“Maybe you should slow down.”

“Maybe you should worry about yourself. I’m grown. I can handle myself, Yamato.” He felt a pang in his chest at her sharp words, ones that he’d never really heard directed toward him. She scolded Kakashi on the daily for being a pervert, but only kind words met Yamato’s ears previously. “Anyway, about this girl. Have you tried getting her anything as a gift? The things I listed before? Love notes? That sorta thing?”

He shook his head. “Well, no. I haven’t tried anything yet.”

“That’s the thing about you, Tenzo. You’re so modest. If you want the girl, you need to go in and get her. You need to show her what she means to you, since you can’t bring yourself to just outright tell her.”

“The whole bold displays of affection aren’t my thing.”

She hummed, her head lolling from side to side as she twirled the straw of her drink in between her fingers. “Maybe you should try some roundabout approach since you’re so scared of rejection. Send her anonymous letters and gifts, give her little clues that it’s you and see how she reacts.”

“Like a secret admirer?"

“Exactly! That’s sooo romantic. I wish some guy would do that shit for me.”

Kakashi raised a brow. “Oh, really?”

“Of course. I’m almost 27 and I’ve never had a long lasting relationship. I just want some guy to really, I don’t know, just love me. Love who I am, not hook up with me for my body or-or only pretend to like me for coupons on bread,” she complained, quite loudly as well. “Fuck those guys and their bread discounts...”

“Y/N-”

“I’d suggest you do something like that for your crush. Make her feel like you really care about her mind and soul.” Y/N clutched her hand over her heart and squeezed the front of her dress. “So many men nowadays act like horny teenagers, and us ladies are sick of it.”

She really did not need to go into such detail, and Yamato could tell she was drinking too much. Y/N would never say these things aloud if she were completely in her right mind. He felt rude just sitting there letting her rant on and on, exposing her own feelings to the table. But at the same time, he was grateful to know what she wanted in a lover. She never really let on what her romantic life was like, other than single for the most part.

That is what he and Kakashi were discussing before she came around. He was desperate to sweep her off her feet and woo her, to make revealing his feelings easier. Kakashi told him to just go to the bakery and tell her right then and there, but that was just too bold. He wasn’t going to go in without a plan, it was irrational.

“Yamato, I’m telling you, if this woman rejects you, she’s fucking stupid. You’re a catch. You and Kashi over there, both of you could get any woman you want, and that’s a fact.” the woman waved her hand to emphasize her point, only to knock the rest of her fourth drink over into her lap, sticky syrup soaking into her apron and through to her skirt. “Oh man.”

“I think it’s time for you to head home, little miss Y/N,” Kakashi chimed in, “This is exactly why we don’t bring you to bars, you know.”

“Shush. I am fine.”

Yamato sighed, motioning with his hands for her to move to the edge of the seat. He rolled his eyes at her words, knowing she was talking out the ass. “Yeah, yeah. Just get up, Y/N. I’m taking you home.”

Both men were surprised when she lifted her hand and pushed him away from her. Her glare was intense, anger behind those eyes. “No! Not you. I want Kakashi to walk me home.” The man was taken aback by the harshness in her tone. She was normally calm tempered, but her head was spinning and she was obviously growing moody.

“That’s fine by me. Yamato, you’ll pick up the bill for us and uh, clean this mess, right?” Kakashi smirked as he slid out from the booth and picked up her bag of baked goods. She followed suit, climbing out of her seat and grabbing onto the shinobi’s arm tightly. He really couldn’t care any less about her nonsense. It had been so long since they became friends, he’d seen her in every mood imaginable, and much drunker than this. He’s walked her home more than a few times in their past years.

“Curse you, cheap-ass.”

“Gotta go.”

With that, the white haired man walked out the restaurant with a woman in tow. They lived in the same direction, so he started down the street as she stumbled after him, tripping occasionally on pebbles. He felt bad for his friend, really. But the answer was clear as day now. Y/N cared for Yamato a lot more than she let on. It was just up to one of them to make a move. He couldn't do everything for them.

She tripped along beside him, letting her head fall against his shoulder a few times. Her eyes slid up to the man’s masked face, and he felt her hands begin to quiver a bit around his arm, just a tiny bit, but it was still there. Those little, very-telling, tremors.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked gently, knowing she would immediately spill whatever was stuck on her mind.

“Kashi, why does Tenzo want some other village girl?” she questioned, her cheeks puffing out and her eyes getting watery with tears. “Why doesn’t he want me? I want him so badly, it hurts right here.” she placed her free hand over her stomach and gagged. “I might throw up, it hurts so much.”

“Trust me, it’s gonna be okay,” he hushed, a tiny smile on his lips. He didn’t want to reveal too much to her, but it was just so amusing pulling the strings like this. Two of his friends, one a subordinate and the other a sneaky baker, falling for each other right in front of him. With all the work piling up, this was definitely a refreshing take.

“Also, you shouldn't throw up. It'll burn your throat, you know.”

She nodded, and just clutched onto her stomach as they made their way down the narrow alleyways toward her small apartment. He unlocked the door for her when she struggled to fit the key into the tiny hole that blurred together with everything else. He was a good friend, she thought, and made a mental note to thank him next time she saw him. Well, she tried to make a mental note, but when her body hit the mattress in the corner of her small studio, she found herself drifting away.

__________

God, her head hurt so badly she thought her skull was cracking open right then and there, as she lifted her head from her pillow. Light shined in through the window only to make things worse than before. She looked around the room and noticed that her coat was hung up properly on the hook and her shoes were sitting by the door. Her basket rested atop her counter.

Most importantly, on her nightstand sat a glass of water and a couple pills, ready for her to take the moment she woke up. Kakashi or Yamato must have walked her home and put her to bed. They were very nice men, she enjoyed having them as friends, she just worried she had made a drunken fool of herself last night in front of them. She rarely drank heavily, for that reason. She couldn’t even remember what happened, just that she met them at the restaurant and then the rest fell empty in her mind, little images blending together until she couldn’t decipher a thing that happened. She was more than ashamed.

How could she lose control of herself so casually, she wondered. She never even wanted to drink, much less enough to give her this searing headache. Something must have happened last night that influenced her decisions. Maybe she had a drinking contest with Kakashi like that one time before. If so, that was completely uncalled for on the man’s part. He knew her tolerance.

Nevertheless, she needed to get ready for work. A hangover wasn’t enough to heed the workings of the bakery.

She took the pills, and threw off her covers, walking over to her counter to take out one of the cinnamon rolls, taking a big bite to curb her hunger pains. After taking a moment to compose herself, she got ready for work. If she was late, she knew the owners would be forgiving, but she still felt bad regardless. She was going to walk in looking like a complete disaster.

As she headed out her door that morning, she stumbled on something sitting right at the foot of her doorstep on the welcome mat. Resting there, in a tiny little ceramic pot, stood a bonsai tree, trimmed and cared for perfectly. Her eyes scanned the area for who could have set it there, but met only empty space.

Hesitantly, she picked it up and brought it into her home. There was no note attached, nothing to signal who’d given it to her. Just a little tree that she would put on her window sill. It was strange, she had to admit that, to receive an anonymous gift at such an hour. She’d have to ask her friends about it later on to see if one of them had given it to her, for reasons she didn’t know.

But as the days went by, and those days turned into weeks, she continued to receive gifts every few days. More tiny trees in pots, sometimes flowers in little glass vases. None of them at first had anything attached until the most recent piece which when she picked it up to take into her home, a folded piece of paper sat beneath the vase. She made sure to pick it and put it in her apron to read on her break when she went to work. She didn’t have the time when she woke up only about 20 minutes before she was due at her job.

She was more than grateful for the little garden she was accumulating on her window sill, the beautiful flowers and trees somehow surviving despite her little knowledge of taking care of them. She stopped by a flower store in town to get some fertilizer just to keep them alive. It would be a shame if they died since someone was being so kind as to give them to her.

With her boring life, the flowers brought a smile to her face and a warmth in her heart that she hadn’t felt before. Regardless of who was leaving the items there, she felt like she was important to someone. Some person was taking time out of their day to show they cared about her.

Truthfully, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t wished it was Yamato leaving her gifts. She’d been attracted to the man for quite some time, ever since they met really. He was just so strong and brave, and awkward in a cute kind of way. He was truly the only man of her affections, and she could only dream she was the object of his as well.

It was more than unlikely though. He was a strong ninja of the leaf. The chances of someone that amazing wanting to be with someone as simple as the town baker were lower than she wanted to admit. He most likely had his eyes set on some gorgeous kunoichi like Shizune or Kurenai. Someone he could relate to, really.

It was embarrassing to even admit she had a crush on him. It made her feel so tiny and weak, knowing that she wasn’t his ideal.

So she pushed that thought from her mind. Yamato would never be interested in her, and he most certainly not the one leaving her little notes and plants.

What she did know was that this person was a shinobi. Maybe not Yamato, but they were definitely a shinobi. She set up a trap, at least one she thought a normal person would fall for. Right before her door, she set up a tiny trip wire made of floss at the perfect level for someone to pull loose when they walked up to leave a gift on her welcome mat. Her room was at the very end of the hallway, so there was no way anyone else except her secret admirer was the one to set off the trap. Any normal person without the high perception of a shinobi would set off the trap and she would be able to narrow down the results to a civilian.

Only, the morning after she set up the trip wire, when she opened her door, there sat another bouquet of flowers, as well as an untripped strip of floss.

This person had to be a shinobi. She concluded. It was the only explanation in her mind, desperate to find out who the mystery person was all this time.

As she walked the streets that afternoon after the store had closed, her eyes honed in on Yamato, who stood next to a vegetable stand picking up some groceries. Immediately, she turned on her heel and cornered him between the squash and the sweet potatoes.

“Yamato, I need to talk to you. It’s urgent. Do you mind?” she practically demanded, and his eyes widened. He did not expect such an abrupt conversation between them. He shifted awkwardly to rest his grocery bag in the crook of his elbow and lean on his left side, arms crossed over his chest.

He knew what she wanted to talk about. It was about those gifts that he had been giving her. It was just a matter of whether she had figured out it was him or not, that was the question. He was kinda hoping she didn’t know yet. He was not ready to face what came after the reveal, rejection or otherwise. He really hadn’t thought it that far out yet. How could he. Just thinking up love notes and what plants to give her next was more than enough to worry about.

But damn, when he looked down at her, hair dusted with flour from a days work, a smudge of cake batter still on her forearm, apron a complete mess, he wanted to cave and tell her everything. She was just so beautiful, so clumsily perfect he couldn’t help but lose his train of thought. He swore he’d never seen a woman more perfect than her, not even Naruto’s sexy jutsu could come close to this girl.

He found his ears heating up and no doubt turning red at the thoughts running through his mind, and he was quick to smother them down. He was not irrationally emotional. Hell, he was ANBU, he should be able to control his emotions down to a tee.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I have a secret admirer, and I know they are a shinobi.”

He felt himself growing nervous. How had she deduced that? “Ah, that’s definitely exciting for you. How do you know it’s a shinobi?”

“I know because I set up a tripwire last night and the person didn’t set it off, so I know they are coordinated enough to avoid it. This isn’t just some random village boy. This is someone skilled.”

“Y/N, he could have very well just avoided the trap with his natural gait, don’t you think?” he tried to reason with her, try to get her off his trail. Admittedly, he thought she was quite clever for setting up the trap. When he walked over it the night before, he swore it was just a spider web. He didn’t even consider the possibility of a trap in his way.

If only he could throw her off his scent. He needed more time. He couldn’t confess to her now. It was too abrupt, too sudden. He would probably die.

“No, I’m convinced it’s a shinobi.”

Shit. “Well, what are you going to do now?”

She thought for a short moment on what she was going to say, tapping her foot on the ground beside her. Her eyes widened and she smiled at the thought that ran through her mind. Of course, it was so obvious. “The gifts come sporadically, so I know that the shinobi can’t leave gifts when they are on missions. Next time there is a long break in gifts, I will just ask around to figure out who has been on a mission for a while. Bam, I’ve got my answer. It’s foolproof.”

She really had thought this through more than him. She was too good, and he felt himself panicking. He had a weeklong mission in 3 days, and if she asked anyone, they would tell her it was him. He felt moisture gather up at his brow, and he internally cursed his situation. He had to find some way out of this mess without her figuring out it was him.

“Yeah, that could definitely work. I hope it all works out for you, Y/N,” he lied through his teeth.

“I know. I’m just smart like that, aren’t I?”

“You sure are,” he muttered, but honestly, he just wanted to go off and find Kakashi. He needed to talk to him. His eyes slid away from Y/N and he sighed. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. Don’t forget to stop by before your next mission to get some of our special food pills, okay? I just made a new batch and you can try them free of charge. Anything for a fella as handsome as yourself.” She laughed, shifting her weight to press a hand to her hip.

Jeez. There was no good reason for her looking so adorable. Calling him handsome as well? It was all too much for his heart to handle. Needless to say, he felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t walk away right then. With that, he simply nodded before patting her shoulder. “Like I said, gotta go.”

“Oh, okay. See you around.”

“See you.”

He walked away quickly, heading in the direction of Kakashi’s apartment, knowing he just had to do something about the mess he was currently in, and ways to avoid the inevitable. His heart was racing so fast he thought he might be having a heart attack. How could he be swayed so easily by a pretty face. He had no idea, but he really wanted it to stop. For the sake of his sanity, he needed to learn to be calm around her.

He would tell her soon, get all this off his chest and share his true feelings. He just needed a bit more time.

[ventura-starlight]

Holiday Headcannons: The Weasley Twins

A/N: Hello Guys! I wanted to write something similar to the Golden Trio Holiday Headcannons for my favorite twins! This will be the last thing I write before Christmas and then I should have some New Years content to enjoy. I am thinking of doing a New Years Eve sleepover to celebrate over 160 followers and the new year! I will probably have some information about that up soon and also a questionnaire to help me with what content you all want for 2021! I am really trying to make content that I enjoy writing and you all enjoy reading so feedback on that would be so appreciated 🥺💖. Anyways I will shut up and get to some headcannons now :)

Summary: the holidays with our favorite twins!

Warnings: none except cuss words lol

*+.-°><°-.+*

fred weasley

This boy...

he owns my heart

Okay so during the holidays he just wants to spend as much time with you as possible

this isn't really any different from any other time of year but I digress

the minute it snows he wants to go and play out in the cold with you

Making snow angels is a must

loves snowball fights

shows absolutely no mercy >:)))

fred: "hey Y/N look at me!"

*you turn to look at him*

you: "What's up Fr-?"

AND WHAM!

you: "Did you just throw a snowball at my face Fred?"

Fred: >:) "yes"

cue running and having a huge snowball fight

on the fluffier side of things...

THIS BOY LIVES FOR FIRESIDE CUDDLES

truly his favorite part of the season

he is such a nerd omfg...hear me out

you were studying in the library, far away from your boyfriend Fred. you didn't want to really be away from him but it was hard to focus on studying for exams with his there.

he too damn seggsy 😪

ANYWAYS

you are sitting there and you get uo to grab another book

when you return you see a note folded in the book you had sitting opened on the desk

opening the leader you read the slightly messy handwriting

hey stunning ;) I have an idea

-you

-me

-the griyffindoor common room fireplace

-coco

-cuddles

see you there Y/N <3

😤💖

of course you go

when you get into the common room fred is getting coco ready and making sure everything is ready

HAHA SIMP

you spend the rest of the day cuddling

oh and on Christmas?

spoils you rotten

of course in his own way

probably gets you a ring he made (for some reason I think he makes little jewelry pieces when he is bored)

LOVE THIS MAN PLEASE

-*-

george weasley

ANOTHER BOY WHO OWNS MY HEART

UGH

anways 😌🤚

this one is such a romantic

okay he still plays pranks on you and has snowball fights

but this fucker

he is ALL about gift giving and romance during the holidays

he has drawn you a bunch of little sketches of you through the year and everyday of December he gives you a few

GOD DAMN THATS CUTE OMFGGGGG

he would get you a shit ton of candy as well

if you don't have a sweet tooth however,

probably makes those coupon books for like a free hug, back massage, etc.

I made those all the time for my mom :')

besides that

this cheesball omfg

okay so you were hanging out with Fred, George, and a few other friends at a party before the winter break

Of course you wandered around and danced with some of your friends

You looked around for George after a while only to see that signature smirk of his under mistletoe

The boy has been waiting there for like 20 minutes JDKSKDJFJS 🥲

*you walk over to him*

george: "I was starting to get nervous I would have to kiss someone else here love"

you: "oh hush 🙄"

the kiss the two of you share is filled with the taste of cinnamon liquor and chocolate

warmth filled your stomach and butterflies settled in once again as george held onto you

you were his everything

and he was yours

*+.-°><°-.+*

@70swonderpoisonstark ​ @skyeisaprincess ​ @brianmydear ​ @casuallywriting ​ @fantasticnewtimagines ​ @silversslytherin ​ @mercerss ​ @hunter-with-a-tardis ​ @ghullehh ​ @living-through-the-fictional ​ @fire-in-her-veinz ​ @regalillegal ​ @a-hopeless-fan ​

[women-inthe-sequel]

“I said I’d take care of you, did you think I wouldn’t follow through on that?”

ao3

--

The day after Christmas was turning out to be a quite terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

All the best spots in the parking lot were full. The return lines were long, so much so that they nearly went out of the store and onto the sidewalk. When she gathered up the courage to use a public restroom, it was out of toilet paper and paper towels.

Or maybe the tension from yesterday’s Christmas dinner with Petunia and her new fiancé was getting to her and ruining the rest of her week.

Either way, Lily was determined to take full advantage of the merchandise credit in her hand. After waiting for several people in front of her to complain about the return policy (which Lily actually found to be rather generous), she finally had it in hand.

It came, of course, from returning that awful package from Petunia. Her present this year had come with a passive aggressive comment from her sister about still using her bedding from college. She tried to stomach the comments with non-committal statements and a forced smile, but Lily could only take so much.

It was a certain kind of Christmas miracle when Petunia closed the door behind her without either of them yelling.

After all that, Lily deserved to get a new comforter she actually liked and some of those bamboo sheets they always talked about on TV.

Her problem now was that a merchandise credit return meant she had to find something worthwhile in this particular store. What, she would like to ask, was the point of a giant sign about a forty percent off sale, if nothing actually fell under the sale?

“I’m sorry,” the woman at the counter said for the third time. “This item is excluded from discounts and coupons.”

It wasn’t her fault, Lily reminded herself. This woman probably wanted to be here even less than Lily did. It was moments like these when it became clear why some people got that haircut and started demanding to speak to the manager.

Maybe it was the manager’s fault, for putting up such a big sign and then preventing any items from allowing it to be used.

Petunia would do that. Petunia would complain and raise hell until she left the store.

Lily was not going to do that.

“Thanks anyway,” she said, taking the package back to return it to the shelf. “I’ll keep looking.”

The woman gave her a sympathetic nod.

Dejected, Lily threw the comforter back onto its pile and started down the aisle again. Damn Petunia and her ability to find everything on a perfect sale. The credit amount didn’t leave her any room, so she was never going to find something that could fit-

Oof.

When Lily turned away from the display, another person’s back blocked her. Brought up short, Lily narrowly avoided actually running into him. Her luck, she would be the person lost in her head enough to knock over someone in the bedding aisle of a department store.

“Sorry,” Lily said, putting her hand on a shelf to steady herself. “I guess I was a little distracted.”

When she looked up to see him properly, Lily could have been distracted for a whole new set of reasons. He had such richly colored eyes, more than a few inches on her height, and that kind of comfortable smile that hinted at self-assuredness.

She could already hear what Mary would say if she was here.

“Don’t worry about it,” the other person said, now turned to her. He grinned and lifted his hand to his hair, running his fingers through it. “Can I help you?”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Lily said quickly. “I’m having a minor shopping crisis, but it’s really nothing. My sister’s great for causing these kinds of things.”

Oh God, why was she rambling?

He chuckled. “Maybe I can take care of it. What kind of shopping crisis are we dealing with?”

Desperate times and nearly an hour looking at comforters called for desperate measures. If someone in this store had the time to help her, she wasn’t really in the position to be declining assistance. The poor woman at the counter had enough people to deal with on the day after Christmas without her bringing up another one that didn’t qualify for the sale.

Lily held out the plastic card with the store credit. “My sister gave me a few snarky comments and an ugly comforter for Christmas. I returned it, thank God, but they could only give me store credit.”

He nodded and waved for her to go on.

“Now I’m back here,” Lily continued, “trying to find something that will work and still fit in the amount she spent, since she’s apparently a sale whisperer. Or maybe the horrible stuff is the only kind on sale. I don’t know, but I think I might be stuck in some kind of neverending bedding loop. Really, I just want to get out of here and get an Auntie Anne’s pretzel.”

If only Mary was here to see her.

His grin widened, so she mustn’t have scared him too much. Maybe she was tame to deal with compared to the Christmas Eve shoppers.

“I can take care of that,” he said. “My mom’s a pro at finding a good sale, and she taught me well. What vibe are we going for?”

Lily played with the end of her braid while she tried to come up with an answer. “I’m not sure,” she admitted. “I thought something would speak to me, but clearly…” She gestured broadly. “It’s not happening.”

“I’m sure there’s something here.” When he gestured to the rest of the section, it made her look.

She saw the several rows of stacked bedding and staged bedrooms with those shortened beds stores always used. Lily was sure she already went through every aisle to check for something that would fit in her price range, but it was possible that she missed something.

She had to leave here with something, or the whole trip was a waste.

“Okay. Let’s do another round.”

Lily started another lap of the bedding section, this time with a partner. She steered clear of the tempting rack that already burned her once, since nothing on it was eligible for any kind of discounts. She also skipped over the shelves of throws, since using those for her comforter would definitely get a judgemental look from Petunia.

More than once, she had to resist the urge to fall onto one of the example beds and bury her head in the pillows. Maybe she should have stuck with the comforter Petunia picked. What was so wrong with her college bedding, anyway?

“What about this one?” he called from further down the aisle, pulling Lily out of her pessimistic thoughts. She tossed an uncomfortable looking throw pillow into a bin and looked to him and the possible option instead.

This one, which he unzipped the top of the package to reveal, was made of soft pastel squares patched together to look like a quilt. The colors went together well without being too loud. With a relieved sigh that was part laugh, Lily could picture it over the bed in her room.

“It’s perfect,” Lily said, starting toward him. “Does it qualify for the sale?”

“I think so,” he said, looking at it from several angles to find a tag. “I’ll find someone to ask.”

“Wait.” Lily stopped a few feet away from where he stood with her perfect, maybe ready to solve all of her problems quilt comforter. “You don’t work here?”

The grin was back. He shook his head, eyes holding a new amusement. “What made you think that I did?”

“Well, you -” Lily stopped and changed tack. “Then why are you helping me?”

He shrugged. “I said I’d take care of you. Did you think I wouldn’t follow through on that?”

Warmth spread across her cheeks and down to her toes without her permission. “I didn’t mean to pull you away from your shopping. I thought…”

“You didn’t pull me away from anything,” he said easily. He pushed the quilt back into the package and zipped it, turning to the register. “If this is it, you should get it.”

“I can take it. Really, I didn’t mean -”

“Don’t worry about it. I wanted to help,” he said, moving the quilt so it rested under one arm. He did it in time for her to miss her grab for the package. Instead, the attempt made her fingers brush over the sleeve of his sweater.

Lily withdrew her hands and let him carry the quilt toward the register counter. He put it down and stepped aside for her. The best course of action, she decided, was probably to avoid looking at him so he wouldn’t see the spots of color she was sure were on the tops of her cheeks. She offered the store credit to the cashier, vowing to buy this thing no matter how much it cost and be done with the whole affair.

The woman behind the counter scanned the tag and, Lily swore, smiled a little when the number came up on her screen. “This item is actually eligible for an additional discount. You have a little left on the store credit, if you wanted to find something else.”

“No,” Lily answered emphatically. “You can -”

A bright orange color caught her eye and made her reach to the display on the counter. She put the king sized Reese’s down and pushed it toward the woman on the other side.

“Actually, I’ll add this.”

The woman rang up her order and took a penny from the take one, leave one without prompting to cover the balance after redeeming her credit. She handed the bag over to a grateful Lily.

Turning, she was glad to see her helper still standing there. “This is for you,” Lily said, holding the bag in one hand and the Reese’s in the other, outstretched to him.

“You should keep it,” he answered, hands in his pockets. “My friend is always telling me that chocolate is good for stress, and that had to be a lot.”

“You should have it. I have to do something since you basically saved a stranger.”

“I’m James,” he answered, making her forehead crease in confusion. “James Potter. And you are…?”

“Lily Evans.” The answer was part reflex and part wanting to know where he was going with this.

“So, we aren’t strangers anymore. Keep the candy.”

Lily laughed and shook her head. “I have to do something for you, Potter.”

“I actually had something else in mind,” James admitted, hand once again in his hair. “Since that’s all handled, did you still want to go for that pretzel?”

Lily bit on her bottom lip to keep it from turning into a too big smile. “Sure. My treat.”

“No, Evans,” James said with a grin. “I’d like it to be a date.”

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

i wrote this when fnaf 3 came out i think, should i rewrite/continue it?

My footsteps were the only sound I could hear properly, aside from my own breathing. My flashlight swept slowly back and forth the dark halls, illuminating the faded and peeling posters, the cracked, dull and dirty walls, and the dirt and cobwebs that had accumulated over the years of this place not being in use. The place stank as well, but not worse than the animatronics themselves, the main attraction of this pizzeria. The company planned to move them to a new location, a ‘sister location’ as they say in technical terms, in order for a fresh start. And here I was, the night security guard stationed here to keep watch until the pickup truck arrived to transport them in the morning. Ha! The security guard? Who the hell was I kidding? I’m not a security guard, I don’t even have the proper qualifications! To cut costs, they hired the first person who came looking for a job, proper safety be damned, even after the incidents that had occurred. So here I was, back in the place where my childhood self had loved to be.

As I passed the show stage, I took a moment to stop and look at the powered down animatronics. As I gazed at them, now rusted and with peeling paint, I remembered their glory days, my childhood days. It was always a delight whenever someone in my wide circle of friends would invite me to a birthday party hosted at this very place. It was a far cry from the rotted hellhole that it was now. 15 years ago, bright walls, fresh drawings gracing the walls each day, glitter scattered around, delicious food, and happy laughing faces. Some of those were of me and my friends, having fun, throwing around slices of pizza in play, pulling pranks, and singing along with the animatronic band.

My friends…

They were the reason the pizzeria closed down. They went missing. No one found them. No one knew where they were now, or what had even happened to them. I remember hazily, it was a distant friend’s birthday, not even mine, but I was invited by extension, because they refused to have a party without the complete circle of friends. They were always so loyal. The only thing that saved me from having the same fate as them was a bad case of the flu, though I was prepared to go anyway. But, I didn’t. And then they were gone. Authorities called it the ‘missing children incident’. But that was just one of many. More children kept going missing, but never at the same location. This was where it had started. But the incident that sealed Fazbear Entertainment’s fate was the bite of ’87. One of the animatronics, my favourite one, went crazy, and it attacked one of the day security guards, leaving him with grievous injuries. People grew worried, and eventually, after the company got sold to another owner after the founder killed himself due to guilt about all the incidents that happened, which combined with all the incidents, health care issues, bad business decisions, and the company going downhill due to the new owners, caused Fazbear Entertainment to finally shut down.

What didn’t help was that other night security guards that had worked there often spoke of ghosts appearing in the walls of the pizzeria, sometimes leaving messages of their past. Some were rumoured to the ghosts of the missing children, but I didn’t believe them. Ghosts weren’t real, and the best thing for tragedy is to move on, and forget.

Snapping myself back to reality, I made my way to the prize corner. There resided the Marionette, a humanoid robot that gave gifts in exchange for prize coupons. The gifts could be masks, balloons, toy drum sets, or most commonly, plush toys of the characters. I could see rows of the latter lined up om the shelves, waiting to be given away, matted with dust and cobwebs. The Marionette could be ‘summoned’ by winding up a music box and letting it play all the way through, at which the Marionette would arrive and give gifts of the child’s preference. I wound up the music box and let it play all the way through. Of course, the Marionette did not appear, but the familiar tune was comforting.

When the last note had sounded, I turned back toward the halls, planning to make one final round of the pizzeria before returning to the security office. On the way, I had to pass the show stage again. I aimed my torchlight absentmindedly at the animatronics again. But there was nothing there. Panicking, I frantically swept the flashlight back and forth though the nearby halls, running back to the office to get the security feed. Frenzied thoughts ran through my mind, how could this have happened, how were the animatronics gone, I was going to get fired—

A cold hand rested on my shoulder. I froze. A faint voice breathed into my ear.

“We’re still your friends, do you believe that"?

BESTIE YES!!

If you have the motivation I would love to read a re written version of this with new context or a continuation!!

[sevlgi]

patient

requested: yes

group: mamamoo

pairing: hwasa x fem!reader

genre: fluff

contents: tattoo artist!hwasa, flustered!reader [15/33]

warnings: none

synopsis: It’s hard for you to be patient about your next tattoo session when your artist is so damn gorgeous.

a/n: um??? I love tattoo aus???? also don’t come at me for the name, I’m not creative

word count: 1.9k

“Elegant Chaos.”

You test the name out on your tongue, staring up at the slightly grimy neon sign of the shop. The entire front is one-way glass, so all you can see is your own reflection and the ones of the people bustling around you.

Before you can make up a decision to open the door to the store or not, someone else does; a pretty brunette woman steps out and smiles at you, crazy beautiful with full lips and crescent-eyes. “Hi. Can I help you?”

“Uh, yeah.” You show her the printed-out address your friend sent you and step a bit closer. “Is this a tattoo shop? I searched the address up but nothing resulted, I was referred by a friend.”

She barely takes a glance at the address before flashing another bright grin. “Oh, yep! This is our tattoo shop, we opened a couple months ago. It’s weird that we’re still not showing up, but oh, well. Want to come in?”

You barely register her quick words but step into the shop after her, the smell of rubbing alcohol, paper, and perfume vaguely stinging your nose. “I’m Solar, the receptionist,” she introduces, walking behind what you presume to be her desk. Out front, some teenagers talk quietly, a tall, dark-haired boy with a sleeve sipping at a banana milk.

“Cool. Uh, I’m Y/N. I don’t have an appointment, is that okay?”

Solar nods, tapping at her phone. “Sure. Jungkook over there is just waiting for Byul to finish her other client, and Wheein is prepping to pierce the kids. Hwasa’s our best artist, anyway, does that sound good?”

Her question startles you from staring at the intricate sketches taped all over the walls, the same 3 signatures stamped everywhere. “What?”

She laughs, though it’s not rude. “We have one artist left, Hwasa, but since you’re referred, you probably don’t have someone in mind, right? You can go to see her now, she’s free.”

“Great. Do I just...?” At Solar’s nod, you walk past her and into the back. The studio’s quite small, to be honest; there are 4 stations, two of them occupied. One of them, who you guess is Byul, is tattooing an elderly man, her sleeves rolled up to reveal the art on her bicep. 

The second, probably Wheein, is wiping down her tools, and she’s the first to notice you. “Hi!” she grins, turning the music blasting from the radio down with her ungloved hand. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah. Solar mentioned that I should come find Hwasa,” you explain, eyes widening at the complicated art being tattooed on the elderly man. “Are you...?”

“No, I’m Wheein.” Ah, so you were right. “This is Byul, she’s a bit preoccupied,” Wheein smiles, dimples poking into her cheeks. “I’ll get Hye- sorry, Hwasa for you.”

She hurries out to the back, and you can hear talking through the open door, before she comes back, the woman you presume to be Hwasa behind her.

Instantly, you’re starstruck; she’s stunning in a way that’s completely unique, long dark hair and tanned skin contrasting beautifully. The only makeup she wears is a bold red lipstick, her tank top showing the delicate tattoos she has. “Hey, I’m Hwasa,” she greets, sticking her hand out. Her nails are long, too.

“Y/N.” You accept the handshake, trying not to stare. “Uh, Solar said you were free for a consultation?”

“Yeah.” She sits at one of the free stations, clearing the things scattered on the table. “So, what’re you looking for? Do you already have a design chosen or am I freehanding?”

You fumble in your bag for a piece of paper, sliding it over to Hwasa. “Um, this is just something my friend drew up for me. I want it pretty small, on my forearm.”

The dark-haired woman shrugs, unfolding the paper. “I could do that. Is this your first tattoo?”

Nodding, you watch as Hwasa taps her long, red-painted nails on the desk. “Okay. Is this part of a sleeve or by itself?”

“Uh, how long would each one take?” To be honest, you have no idea why you said that; you didn’t consider a sleeve at all, though you considered multiple tattoos or a large one. There’s just something about the other woman that makes it impossible for you to think.

She considers the question before answering, “Depends on the size and how many small ones you want to work in for the sleeve, but I’d recommend a separate session for each small square, so maybe 8 or 10. I’ll be done with this in less than 30 minutes, though, if it’s just the one.”

To be honest, the only thing causing you to consider a sleeve is getting to see Hwasa again, and you curse your own attraction to her when you blurt, “Maybe a sleeve? I have to think about the other ones I want to work in, though.”

“Okay. I can just do the one today, and we can schedule another day for you to come in and design the whole thing,” she offers, picking the sketch up. “I’ll go make this into a stencil, then.”

“Sure.”

When she takes the sketch and walks to the back room, you slump down in the chair and pivot to look at the others. You quickly realize how long you were talking with Hwasa; Byul is already working on the coconut-haired boy, and Wheein is already done with the teenagers.

She seems to be the outgoing type, and waves at you while sanitizing her needles and packing her kit up again. “So, how did it go? Are you going to start today?”

“I am, yep. You’re already done with the kids?”

Wheein nods, placing the studs back into their cases. “Yep. They just wanted more lobe piercings, it’s really easy. I’m a tattoo artist, too, but I think the kids like me more. Except for Jungkook over here, they think Byul’s intimidating.”

“I’m not!” the other woman protests, hands still steady as she works on the boy. Her voice is deeper than you’d expect. “You literally call me a hamster.”

Flapping a hand, Wheein flashes you her dimples again. “So, what do you think of Hwasa?”

“Huh?” you blink, brain basically short-circuiting. “Uh, she’s a good artist? I saw some of her sketches, yours too; you’re all really talented.”

“No, no, that’s not what I mean. Wait, you’re not straight, are you?” she narrows her eyes at you, scanning you from head to toe. “Maybe my sense is broken, I didn’t peg you for a...”

“I’m not. Straight. I’m a lesbian.” Your cheeks burn to say it aloud, though nobody really reacts, not even Jungkook. “Are you?”

Wheein shrugs, “I mean, I’m attracted to women. All 4 of us are- Hyejin, Byul, Yongsun. Solar, to you. And we make sure everyone who comes in is accepting, we won’t serve bigots.”

For whatever reason, you’re almost relieved to hear that Hwasa’s also attracted to women in some sense, even though it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s attracted to you. “Oh. That’s cool.”

“Yeah. So, is it just one tattoo or a sleeve?” Her knowing smile puts you off a bit; how did she figure it out? “A lot of girls who come in here change their original idea because of Hyejin-ah. You’re obviously attracted to her, to, so it’s no surprise.”

“Is it really that obvious?” you groan, surprising yourself with how open you’re being about it. “Do you think she knows?”

“Probably,” Wheein giggles, nodding when Solar pokes her head in the studio to tell her something. “Anyway. I’ve got to go, good luck!”

She waves as she leaves, the only noise left in the studio being the quiet music and Jungkook’s quiet talking. He seems just as awkward as you are, lifting his free hand in a half wave.

You’re saved by Hwasa returning with a stencil. “Here. Does that look good?”

She’s modified the original design just the tiniest bit, making the lines a little bit darker and the shading simpler, and it looks... “Perfect.” You grin, a weight on your chest lifted by your conversation with Wheein. “Should we start?”

“Sure.” She brings you over to one of the actual tattoo stations, the seat already smelling sanitized. You can barely listen as she explains what the process will be like- cleaning, the actual tattooing, pain; you finally come to when she asks, “Are you ready?”

“I... yeah. I am.”

It’s quiet until the buzzing of the tattoo gun brings you to life, the tiniest bit of fear sour on your tongue. Hwasa looks concentrated as she peels the stencil off, not exactly reassuring, either. “So. Is there a meaning behind this?”

“Uh, not really. Are there meanings behind yours?” You gasp when the needle first touches your skin, the cold wipe taking off excess ink.

“I have some matching tattoos with Wheein,” Hwasa explains, smiling at the mention of the other girl. “Uh, one is Maria, my Christian name. Wheein has more, but all of us have some kind of meaning behind ours. It’s not bad to have no meaning, though.”

You wince as she continues with the linework, slowly getting used to the pain. “Are you and Wheein...”

She looks up, raising an eyebrow. “Together? No, we’re best friends. I haven’t been with someone in a few years.”

“What’s stopping you?”

Hwasa laughs, wiping your arm once again. “Nothing, I guess. I’m just patient enough to wait for the right person.”

“Patient. Right.”

Conversation flows smoothly, mostly light topics. You learn each other’s ages, and you’re told to call Hwasa ‘Hyejin’ instead. You learn when she got her first tattoo, and when she learned to tattoo others. The more you talk, the more drawn in you are, fascinated by her every word.

The half an hour is over far too fast. “Done,” she announces, smiling as she turns off her gun. “Take a look.”

It looks gorgeous, as expected, though Hwasa plays off your barrage of compliments. “Uh, should I pay now?”

She shrugs, placing saran wrap over your arm. “We’ll go talk with Solar about that, she’s better with pricing than I am. But it probably won’t be much.”

“What? Why?” you frown, examining the tattoo. Usually, discounts only happen when something goes wrong, or you have a coupon. You’re pretty sure neither of those things apply.

Hwasa pauses, turning to send you a small smirk. “Well, the cute ones usually pay less.”

Your heart practically stops, though you force yourself to walk to the front with her. “Besides, you’re probably coming back again soon, right?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah. I think so. When will that be? The next session, I mean.”

She frowns, tapping at the tablet Solar hands her. “You can come in as soon as you’re free to design it, if you want, but you have to wait a bit for the next session, especially if you’re doing the things close together. If you want, I can give you my number.”

At your stricken expression, Hwasa’s lips curve into a knowing smile. “So you can send me ideas, for the sleeve.”

“Ah, of course.” Your cheeks burn as you take out your cash, counting out a surprisingly small amount. “That sounds good. I guess I’ll just have to be patient, then.”

“I guess so. Call me, Y/N,” she smiles, handing your phone back with a new contact in.

Being patient is going to be so damn hard. 

[well-this-might-as-well-happen]

The Comprehensive Guide to Life Post Fucking Your Delivery Driver

i think the title says it all so let us dive straight in

Do. Not. Think. About. The. Tip.

There are many philosophical conundrums you can spend the rest of your life contemplating, for your own sake, do not make the monetary value of the tip you left the food delivery driver who you just had sex with become one of those conundrums. Do not ask yourself if the tip was too much. Do not ask yourself if the tip was too little. Do not consider whether or not this was light prostitution. All you need to do is go on and eat your food. You earned it champ. You fucking earned it. 

Savor the Damn Meal 

You will never ever be ordering from this restaurant ever again. So, do yourself a favor and really enjoy every bite.  

Try Not to Dwell

Let me save you some anxious wondering and just tell you the cold hard truth. Yes, he has your number. Yes, he knows where you live. It is worst-case scenario. Especially because you definitely forgot your underpants in the back seat. It’s okay. Just take a breath and go to target and buy a new pair (with all the money you are going to save because trust me it is going to be a minute before you order delivery again treat yourself to a couple pairs). Really just try not to think about it. I mean, listen, Joe Goldberg worked at a bookstore, he wasn’t zooming around NYC with takeout in the passenger seat. It really could be worse. 

Go to the Library 

Welcome to your new life as a stupid slut. This is rock bottom. At least check out some fucking books and read you whore. I won’t even tell you to stay away from the auto-fiction, you’re a stupid slut it’s the only genre you are interested in. Yeah, that’s right pick up a Joan Didion book because that is definitely going to solve whatever the fuck is wrong with you. We both know you’re not going to read it. You don’t read essays like that, you are a stupid slut. We will have to work up to collections of essays. Go ahead put Normal People at the bottom of the pile of books you’re checking out. For some reason THAT is what is embarrassing you, a fucking Sally Rooney novel? You are far from fucking normal bitch, that book is the least of your worries. 

Scream in the Car

You forget to buy a pregnancy test when you were at Target buying underwear stupid slut. So, here we are again! Now park as far away as you can. Cry for at least 20 minutes. Then remember that Target definitely does not sell pregnancy tests (or does it? either way you are in no position to find out). Make sure the coast is clear. Scream. Then drive to CVS and get that pregnancy test, and a COVID test, and a pack of gum. Then unfortunately you are going to have to drive back to Target to take the pregnancy test in the Target bathroom. Save the COVID test for home though. But! Feel free to enjoy the gum right now!

Prepare Your Lies 

Everyone is going to ask why your trip to Target took so long. Come up with a convincing story. Maybe you got into a fight? Stopped an armed robbery? Got lost in the shampoos? But wait how are you going to explain the library books? And the CVS bag? Maybe you can just be honest and say you ran a couple more errands than you intended? Or maybe said armed robber made you accompany their robbing spree? And it took you all over town? Truthfully, it does not matter. No one is going to ask you. No one even knows you left. 

Start Building a Home

Well, this is certainly rock bottom. Or at least a kind of rock bottom. At least a rock valley. Whatever you need to tell yourself. Regardless, it is time to make a home on this new rocky terrain. Don’t bother making it too stable though. We always manage to dig a little deeper and then you’ll need to make a new one anyway! 

Well, I think that might be all I have. Join me next time for “What To Do When Said Delivery Driver Gives Up On Actually Texting You and Sends You a Coupon for 10% Off Your Next Order in Some Desperate Last Attempt to Get You to Respond and Other Such Mysteries”. 

[hazbinhotelcanon]

Voxtagram posts - 16 June 2020 to 30 June 2020

These are all the “in character” posts & comments from the Helluva/Hazbin accounts that have recently been popping up on Instagram. Comments from other people aren’t included unless characters interact with them. Since Instagram doesn’t have a chronological feed & timestamps show only the date on posts older than 24 hours, I’ve listed the posts as close to chronologically as I can reconstruct.

I’ve seen tons of fans expressing annoyance/frustration at trying to keep up with these in character Instagram accounts and their new lore and plots. That’s the top reason I started this blog. If you want to see my ongoing logs of the in character Instagram posts, follow @hazbinhotelcanon​!

I’m gonna call these “Voxtagram posts” instead of “Instagram posts” because Hazbin/Helluva Hell's equivalents to our social media sites were apparently named for Vox—Voxtagram, Voogle, VoxTube, Voxcarto—so I’ll use that for the in-universe posts.

Since this is the first “Voxtagram” post, I’ve got a big disclaimer on how “canon” this material is; I’ll put it at the bottom of this post. First, the actual art!

Canon accounts featured in this post: just Blitzo (blitzorodeo) and Stolas (daddy_hoothoot).

16 June 2020

blitzorodeo Here at the stable!!! #horsethings #itwasonly5$$$$$$$$ #selfie❤️ #😈😈😈😈

17 June 2020

blitzorodeo I just cant choose what name to give my horse!! They’re just so good! Which is your favorite 🥺😈😛 #namesrhard #icantwaittowriteitdownagain

19 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse and I went to the living world. How do you people deal with all this blue

janegumball Blitz, show us your horse blitzorodeo @janegumball 😮👏😢🙌😔 janegumball @blitzorodeo so no horse? Damn... 😔 blitzorodeo @janegumball Push pin (my horse) and i have a special relationship, you cant just ask for pictures of my horse

20 June 2020

blitzorodeo I got new riding boots!! My horse coupon 2.0 picked them out for me! :0) BT dubs, i changed my horses’ name to coupon 2.0

megan25gothiqueimmortel Youre awesome like always Blitzy blitzorodeo @megan25gothiqueimmortel 😍😍😍 yes i am good thanks 😋💖💕❤️

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blitzō (@blitzorodeo) on Jun 20, 2020 at 1:40am PDT

blitzorodeo

Watching my favorite movie with my horse!!

#movienight🥺 #spiritismyfavmovie

blitzorodeo Maxipad and i can’t get enough of these lil iced bitches 🥰😛😋 BTdubs i renamed my horse to maxipad dont flame me 🔥🔥🔥 #icedcofee #mmmmiloveicedcoffee #donttslktomebeforeihavemycoffree

markzillow655 I feel like Blitz put some drugs in that drink blitzorodeo @markzillow655 its just iced coffee 😬

janegumball What name is on your horse’s birth certificate? blitzorodeo @janegumball 😳 thats a secret 😗❤️

watsurdamage dont tslk to me before i have my coffree probablyfakeblonde @watsurdamage leave him alone, he just wants to enjoy time with his horse watsurdamage @probablyfakeblonde what horse blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde 😔

21 June 2020

blitzorodeo WENT TO THE MOOOOVVVIIIEEESSSS!! 🥴 it was lame, no horses in this movie 😑👎 it suuuuxxxxxxx!!! Anyways my horses new name is nail polish #moxxiehasstinyPP #iatrtheirpopcorm #illreviewthrmovielater

lordskelecat Pics of the horse or it doesn’t exist blitzorodeo @lordskelecat YOU CANT JUST ASK FOR PICS OF MY HORSE!!! DONT FLAME ME!!! 🔥🔥🔥

blitzorodeo Throw back to last years halloween costume!!! My horse Latex glove said i should post it :0) Oh yea my horses new name is latex glove #iusedlotsofmakeuponmyhorns #andotherplaces;) #donthugmeillloosemymakeuponyou

akira282006 Isn't it in those clothes that blitzo appears in a Hazbin hotel scene?. By the way great costume👌 blitzorodeo @akira282006 i had to look fancy at the stufio 😎

markzillow655 That is awesome looking ngl blitzorodeo @markzillow655 😎🔥

22 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse and i found this in Moxxies closet! LOOOL!!! Im pretty sure moxxie cant pull it off like Tupperware can. My horses new name is tupperware BTW🥺😎👍❤️ #bigdickenergyproblemslol #myjorsesnsmeistupperware #stolaseatmyass

radio_demon_husk He wouldn’t know about virginity after all he did sleep with stolas blitzorodeo @radio_demon_husk who the fuck is stolas

yaelgilbert He low-key kinda hot tho. blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

blitzorodeo GOD DAMN IT!! They gave me fucking HOT COFFEE!! 👿🔥 this is bullshit im about to to full karen on their asses!! BTdubs, my horses name is ICED COFFEE WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED!!! #bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit!!!!

hellishgirly34 Do you like Moxxie xD? Spit the tea! blitzorodeo @licoholics nah he’s stinky.

23 June 2020

blitzorodeo Having my hotdog that my horse recommended. This guy wont stop talking to me. I changed my horses name to keystroke #thightuesday❤️😈 #hotdogtimeisagoodtime

yaelgilbert You gonna slurp that mustered off your lap or can I? blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert I want a happy meal first

blitzorodeo In a meeting rn, i love these filters LOL! My horse chose this filter :0) Their name is now snimmer~ #moxxieisatotalbabe #thattaghas100+onit #proovesmoxxieisbaby #:)😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

janegumball Snimmer is a dumb name 👎 blitzorodeo @janegumball 🔥👿👎🔥

blitzorodeo Feeling cute today, calling my horse on an old clamshell phone! 😈❤️🌟#foundthisoldshotinaboxlol #missusingmyclalmshells

daddy_hoothoot My eyes have been blessed to see my dear Blitzy like this! You’re always so adorable.

bryan_fedrix what's the horse's name now? blitzorodeo @bryan_fedrix THANK YOU FOR ASKING, the name is shrinkwrap

25 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot Octavia said I needed an instagram account and surprised me this morning. Am I doing this right? #nofilter #wokeuplikethis

blitzorodeo 👎 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Oh, Blitzy, you know you love seeing this in the morning❤️❤️❤️ blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot 😔 not a horse

blitzorodeo 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

edwar_17_art Birb father daddy_hoothoot @edwar_17_art I’m not quite sure what a “birb” is but I am indeed a father. And a very proud one at that.

boiled_trash Daddy hoot hoot? Can you be my daddy~? daddy_hoothoot @boiled_trash I’m sorry, I already have a daughter

blitzorodeo Stolas came over and asked for my horse cook but snowcone (my horse) isn’t interested. 🥴👿😑

blitzorodeo BTW my horse is a master chef 🔥

daddy_hoothoot My, what a lovely pair of legs those are!

blitzorodeo At the pool with my horse! We both have pool floaties we stole from some kid together 🥺🔥😈

daddy_hoothoot Oh! You’re in the pool? blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot ................................. no........................... boiled_trash @karlaanimatesyt stolas is bout to join him karlaanimatesyt @boiled_trash Not it I get there first and stop him! 🤠 It’s our job to protect blitzo >:0!! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt finally i have a human shield jaquiialeworld @daddy_hoothoot Stolas, I know how to make blitzo surrender to you, give him a horse blitzorodeo @jaquiialeworld i already have a horse 👎

wolf.nerd.geek Also Blitzo is so cute that face he is making can you send me a link to this pic please blitzorodeo @wolf.nerd.geek this is my selfie 😑🔥

thorns521 How do you feel about Stolas’s new account Blitzø? blitzorodeo @thorns521 I can never post a thigh pic again... daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Don’t let me get in the way of you showing the world those hot thighs 😉

vinfer8 Who took the picture? 🤔 blitzorodeo @vinfer8 obviously my horse

boiled_trash What does your horse’s pool float look like? blitzorodeo @boiled_trash looks like a dragon 🐉

karlaanimatesyt Wow.... :0 What’s your horses name today? :D I’m interested!! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt pool noodle 😎

nightmurr 🥺💕 you have such a cute little smile i- blitzorodeo @nightmurr 😎

princess_.ee Whats your horses name? blitzorodeo @princess_.ee FINALLY SOMEONE ASSKKED. Its Noodle, pool noodle

26 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot I spy a cutie 😈🥰 @blitzorodeo

pipunpkin i spy a SIMP daddy_hoothoot @pipunpkin If a “SIMP” means Sexy Imp then yes

watsurdamage Suspiciously with no horse... 👀 blitzorodeo @watsurdamage he went to use the bathroom obviously watsurdamage @blitzorodeo obviously boiled_trash @blitzorodeo where’s his pool float then??? watsurdamage @boiled_trash @blitzorodeo I think they’ve got you there blitz daddy_hoothoot @watsurdamage no one needs to pick on my Blitzy. If he says there was a horse there, there was a horse there.

blitzorodeo New icon fr da newme (My horse, typo, wrote that for me)

daddy_hoothoot 😘

maro.drawings blitzo your photos are always beautiful 👌💖 but I need to ask you something .... how much does a domicile murder cost? blitzorodeo @maro.drawings you have to get a consultation if you want a priiicceeeee 🔥

blitzorodeo So.. Remember, bushes are great places to hide... my horse, dixxie cup, hid in the bush next to me #hidingforgoodreasonslol #itskindafunnybutalsonotbecauseimstuckinabush #updatelateronthebushsituation

daddy_hoothoot Oh dear

janegumball Dixie Cup is a dumb dumb name 👎 horse name 0/10 blitzorodeo @janegumball DONT FLAME MEEEEE!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

sirnasteryg87 is your horse okay? (´；д；`) blitzorodeo @sirnasteryg87 dixie cup is doin just fine, were both hiding in the

27 June 2020

blitzorodeo ok update, I was able to escape the bushes and I got an iced coffee, I'm fine looooool. My horse (named latex glove) also got one too. I think we'll come here more often to get coffeeeee #tastyasfuckman #iloveicedcoffeeitstasty

daddy_hoothoot Hope you’re enjoying the living world, Blitzy! Can’t wait to see you when you get back! blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot yea yea....

maichyartnoodles You look like you are doing an Ahegao, wtf?! blitzorodeo @maichyartnoodles weeb

thesydinator Just add some beta blockers with that iced coffee, and bam: you’re completely hammered blitzorodeo @thesydinator now THAT sounds like an idea 😎😎😍😍

ant_arts_entertainment I love horses blitzorodeo @ant_arts_entertainment this guy gets me

king_leb72 Damn why were you in the bushes blitzorodeo @king_leb72 i have my motives, im a pro

blitzorodeo This is the piñata that reminded me of moxxie LOL. Tortilla chip (my horse) said to give it to mills, I think she’d love it 🤣😈

daddy_hoothoot It’s cute but not quite as cute as a certain imp I know 😏 😈 angelmadefromhell @daddy_hoothoot Moxxie? daddy_hoothoot @angelmadefromhell Which one of the little ones are they? blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot Just remember our agreement and you can call me whatever you want... ill see you at 8 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Can’t wait! 😘

janegumball You took my name suggestion. If you change it again I’m afraid I’m gonna have to report your account. blitzorodeo @janegumball wtffff!!!!!

daddy_hoothoot Had myself a bit of a spook. Still not quite used to this phone. #dadprobs 🦉

blitzorodeo Use a filter daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I’ll keep that in mind for next time

hellishgirly34 Stolas, why Blitzo was hiding in a bush? daddy_hoothoot @bluepatata I’m not quite sure. I tried to call him but he didn’t pick up.

daddy_hoothoot Got to spend the day with Octavia. 💖🖤#prouddad #saturdaysaremadefordads

ballora_x Wait, I have a good question, how can you're daughter hear everything in the Headsets wale she doesn't have ears? daddy_hoothoot @ballora_x we’re in Hell, dear. Living world logic doesn’t apply.

ricardo_silis_garcia_ I came to ask for your daughter's hand daddy_hoothoot @ricardo_silis_garcia_ not my hand to give. Besides she’s far too young for matrimony.

28 June 2020

blitzorodeo I drew a picture of msyulef as a horse :) im such a a creative guy!! my given horse name from my horse (Renamed to flavor dust) is blitzo2. if you translate it it's whIIIINNENEEE nay bRRRRRR HEEERRGH. #whatsyourhorsiename #stolasdontotinteract

blitzorodeo Im such a good artist boiled_trash @blitzorodeo you’re not a good artist, you’re an amazing one! blitzorodeo @boiled_trash 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍YOURE 👏 RIGHT👏👏👏

daddy_hoothoot You’re always so talented with your hands, Blitzy!

sugar.weaver My horse name is Tiny Whore - or Horse... I'm not fluent yet and they're pretty similar sounds... In horse that's PBBBF.. NNNEEHHHHHEH BPFF! BPFF! (The exclamation points are important to the translation) blitzorodeo @sugar.weaver i liked this 3 times. Your horse name is perfect PBBBF NNNNNEEEHHHEH BPPFF BPFFF, fucking amazing sugar.weaver @blitzorodeo Thank you so much, whIIIIINNENEEE nay bRRRRRR HEEERRGH, but you forgot my exclamation points and called me Clammy Ankles 😔😔😔 blitzorodeo @sugar.weaver i was being informal but ill remember next time 😔

momgimmeoreo How did you learn how to draw, Blitz? blitzorodeo @momgimmeoreo im just talented

beetle.ghosts omg you're so talented blitzorodeo @beetle.ghosts ❤️❤️❤️😍❤️😍❤️❤️❤️😍😍❤️❤️😍😍

andonijean Oh wow! This is a piece of art! I'll give you one hundred of apples for it~ blitzorodeo @andonijean WOW GIMMUE APPLE

aateabee Gosh, I wish my art was as good as yours, Blitzo. I feel unworthy when I look at your art. blitzorodeo @aateabee ❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎😎😎

aitesound666 I Love you art，will you draw moxxie as a horse? blitzorodeo @aitesound666 i should....!!!!!

karlaanimatesyt Blitzo! >:0 I LOVE YOUR ART, YOU ARE SUCH A GODDESS! Will you ever do more art? :D I would love to see some more! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt wow.... yes... ill post more art 😍😍❤️😍❤️

boiled_trash Love your art, Blitzo! Have you considered doing commissions? blitzorodeo @boiled_trash im thinjing of opening them soon :)

kaldraws8280 Oh you should hang it on moxxies fridge! I bet hed love it! blitzorodeo @kaldraws8280 hed better....

leoleochleoleo you draw yourself as a horse because you like to lay on your fours for the old owl 7u7? blitzorodeo @leoleochleoleo FIRST OF ALL. Im a top, and second, i draw myself as a horse because its my SPIRIT animal >:(

blitzorodeo Some requests!! You guys really like my art 😋 i worked really hard on moxxies horsiebdrawing. He doesnt HAVE a horse name. Its just moxxie. My red crayon ran out i only had blue dont flame me preps

daddy_hoothoot 💖💖💖💖💖💖🥺!!! blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot its from that time you choked on a rat bone 🦴 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I still absolutely adore it! daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo There’s only one bone I enjoy choking on 😏 blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot STOLAS

megadoomed Do you take constructive criticism blitzorodeo @megadoomed no

nightmurr AN ART GOD 😳😳 blitzorodeo @nightmurr 😎🔥 i am really good at art

aitesound666 I think you deserve this 🙌🙌👏👏👏 blitzorodeo @aitesound666 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

useful.crew.too Your drawings and pictures bring me such joy!! blitzorodeo @useful.crew.too 😍❤️

mr_unknown15632 Your art work is amazing not gonna lie, the second drawing looks exactly like moxxie blitzorodeo @mr_unknown15632 doesnt it??????? 🙌🙌🙌

whereareallmyenchiladas honestly at this point put “artist” in ur bio🥺 ur art is way too good to not be recognized blitzorodeo @whereareallmyenchiladas so right

29 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse, who i renamed to smart phone, said I should wear sunglasses. I trust my horses opinion :} #sunglassesonfunsout #ifuckinglovewearingsunglassesyoucantseewhatimthinking #galaxybrainzriseup

bootyprince damn u single bb? blitzorodeo @bootyprince always up for a good time 😎

aateabee Where’d you get the glasses from? I’d really like a pair like that! blitzorodeo @aateabee at my local sunglasses hut

blitzorodeo stolas sent me this picture earlier... not sure what he was trying to do but i think the camera went off after he posed.

daddy_hoothoot Oh! This is embarrassing. blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot 🤧

bootyprince send him one back blitzorodeo @bootyprince maybe i will....... blitzorodeo @blitzorodeo NOT daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo 🥺

blitzorodeo just saw Antz... Z reminds me WAAYYY too much of Moxxie... #pleaseshutuppleaseshutup

daddy_hoothoot I always feel amazing after a good preening 🦉❤️ #fluffyisthebest

blitzorodeo I came back for my left glove thats all 🔥🔥 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo If you want to come by for the other one, we can watch one of those horse movies you enjoy 🐴

blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot ............... spirit........ ill bring my VHS but NOTHING FUNNY daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I’ll get popcorn!

30 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot Movie night with Blitzy! 😈🦉🍿

blitzorodeo SPIRIT IS A VERY EMOTIONAL MOVIE

deparkjimin COUPLE GOALS.! They should get married now.❤️❤️❤️ blitzorodeo @deparkjimin we are NOT A couple! saquesealchingada @blitzorodeo That's what everyone says, what do you say Stolas? daddy_hoothoot @saquesealchingada I... It’s complicated

leoleochleoleo I thought that old man didn't know how to use netflix 0: daddy_hoothoot @leoleochleoleo Blitzy brought a VHS

mistress_of_insanity Are ya watchin' porn or somethin'? 👀🔥 blitzorodeo @mistress_of_insanity 👎👎👎👎👎 NO ITS SPIRIT

natycolrange OhHH we can Finaly see the Horse!! 🌟🌟 blitzorodeo @natycolrange its just a horse figurine, my horse went to the shitter

blitzorodeo I went to Mcdonalds and Mccucked this human womans wife lol. My horse said it was my charms and my daddy fingers. too bad I'm wild and free babybeeee #ihadamcflurryandlarrrggeeefries #cantfuckintamemeimfree #likespiritthehorse

daddy_hoothoot Oh...

trysteropup Need an imp with daddy fingers in my life blitzorodeo @trysteropup this is my absolute favorite comment

mr_unknown15632 My main question is, what’s your horses name? blitzorodeo @mr_unknown15632 THANK YIU FOR ASKINGGGG!!! Thr name is flame proof, cuz nobody can burn this biatch

hat_flap Hey Daddy Finger blitzorodeo @hat_flap hey baby maker

yaelgilbert At least return her horse frame to her. blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert NO.

probablyfakeblonde STOP STEALING MY SHIT!!! YOULL NEVER BE LIKE SPIRIT blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde DONT FLAME ME JUST CUZ I HAVE DADDY FINGERS AND YOU DONT! watsurdamage @blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde I mean he’s right blitzorodeo @watsurdamage @probablyfakeblonde cucked again probablyfakeblonde @watsurdamage @blitzorodeo honey please don’t do this, he’s already stolen my beautiful framed horse picture, I can’t lose you too 🥺 blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde its mine now, and im wild and free, cant tame me watsurdamage @blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde you heard him, like Miley he can’t be tamed

daddy_hoothoot A pleasant afternoon tea with my wife 😢

daddy_hoothoot Sorry, I meant to put 😌

aitesound666 Ok，a question。Who took the picture?😮 daddy_hoothoot @aitesound666 Butler

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blitzō (@blitzorodeo) on Jun 30, 2020 at 1:46am PDT

blitzorodeo I tried animating and it’s sucks

janegumball Everyone in the comments is trying to spare your feelings, and you know it blitzorodeo @janegumball i think ur just jealous thet im amazing

blitzorodeo Loonie and I went out to the city! my horse Dominator got us there! :) #horseinthecityha #betterthanataxiiii #itfuckinfreeeee

daddy_hoothoot How cute, Blitzy! Perhaps someday we can arrange a little play date. I think our daughters would very much enjoy it. blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot Loona might be a little too old to do play dates.. daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo it’s more of an expression than an actual play date, Blitzy. I simply think they may get along.

bootyprince she looks just like u blitzorodeo @bootyprince the resemblance is uncanine

And that’s all the June posts!!

So! Since this is the first Voxtagram post, lemme include the big ol’ disclaimer that’s going to apply to all of these posts: we don’t yet know how canon these accounts are.

This is why they’re broadly accepted as canon: as far as I have been able to track back (correct me if you know better & have a source!), the first of these accounts, Blitzo’s, was found by fans because Vivzie followed it when it was brand new. Since then, new accounts have been discovered as they follow/interact with each other. Some official artists have interacted “in character” with the accounts. The accounts accurately announced when the “Addict” music video was going to come out, and some art posted before “Addict” used imagery that was also used in the music video. So either the accounts are definitely made by the canon creators or else being made by somebody who’s got inside access to the creators.

But, as far as I have seen, nobody on the Hazbin crew has taken credit for running them. More importantly, nobody has said how canon the blogs are. Maybe every image/word posted by these accounts is 100% accurate/canonical; or maybe the art is canon but the roleplaying in the comments is noncanon goofy fanservice; etc. We don’t know yet. It appears safest to say these accounts are probably mostly canon—but take it with a grain of salt.

So until we’re directly informed how canon the Voxtagram accounts are, Voxtagram posts are going to be tagged “#semi canon” (the same tag I’ll be using for stream transcripts) to indicate that it appears to be info coming from the creators, but it may or may not still be canon/accurate by the time the full shows and comics are released.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by calligomiles)

“Good morning, Doctor!” Grani walked into his office and gave him a salute. “Officer Grani reporting as ordered!”

The mask on his face smiled at her. “Morning, Officer Grani. Have an assignment for you, should you choose to accept it.”

“Should I choose to accept it? Well, of course I’ll accept it! What can I do to help?” No doubt in her mind, whatever it was, she could take care of it.

“It’s not police work, or crime-stopping, or anything super flashy, but I know that’s not what you’re about anyway.” He opened a drawer, pulled out a file, and showed her a picture. “Do you know Rosa, by any chance?”

The Kuranta shook her head. “Not personally, no, but I’ve seen her around before.”

“Good, that’s better than nothing. I want you to be her friend.”

“...That’s it?” She chuckled. “Shucks, I thought you were going to give me something challenging, the way you built it up. Rosa, right? We’ll be besties even if it’s not a mission, and you can count on that.”

The Doctor nodded. “Keep in mind, officer, I wouldn’t give you this assignment if I expected just anyone to be capable of-”

“I should probably go and find her now - it’s nearly lunchtime. Bye, Doctor! Have a good day!” And with all the speed her little legs could carry her, she was gone.

“And she’s gone.” He sighed. “She’ll probably be fine, but I’ve never seen her run off like that...”

Ran off she did; Grani initially planned to check everywhere for the Ursus, but after some more thought, she realized where she’d seen her: at the Logistics desk, shuffling paperwork. Making a beeline there paid off, as Rosa was in fact at that same desk, moving paper from one box to one of two smaller boxes. As the Kuranta entered through the double doors, the noble pulled together a smile. “Good morning; how can I help you?”

“Oh, I’m not here on business. Are you taking your lunch break soon?”

“I will be, yes.” Rosa cocked her head. “May I ask why you wish to know that?”

The officer flashed her a far more genuine smile and a two-for-one coupon for a Siracusan pizza place. “I can’t use this coupon by myself, so I was wondering if you like pizza. My treat!”

“Hmm...Miss Dobermann was saying I should watch what I eat more closely, but I suppose a few slices couldn’t hurt. I’m ready to leave when you are.” She stood up from her chair, grabbing a purse from behind the desk and sliding it over her shoulder.

“Awesome!” Grani walked over to her, offering her arm. “Let’s go!”

Natalya took her arm-in-arm, although somewhat confused. “Officer Grani, is it? Why do you need my arm?”

“So I don’t lose you on the way there, of course. Off we go!” And at a nice gallop, she sped off, noble in tow.

‘What is going on here?’ The Ursus thought to herself as she was whisked away to Pizza Castle. ‘I barely know who she is, and here we are, racing off for lunch together. Then again, I’ve read a few romance novels that worked like this, but that couldn’t be it, could it? Hmm...We’ll see, I suppose.’

Parked at a table, sharing an outwardly-facing booth that might as well have been a couch, her suspicions only seemed to cement themselves as the Kuranta started up a conversation. “So, Rosa, how’s the office treating you?”

“I admit, I was anticipating more field missions after becoming an official Operator, but Logistics suits me well enough. Are you working on a case, officer, or...”

“Huh? No, I’m off-duty for a while; Doctor told me to take some time for myself.” She cheered when the pizza arrived. “Alright! Thick or thin crust, Rosa?”

Rosa was reaching for the pizza cutter as she asked. “I can get it myself.”

“You’d have to reach over the table to reach the cutter, though, right?” Grani already had the other that’d been brought to the table in her hand.

“True, but...Alright. Thin crust, please.” Wait, how was she in a better position to do this when she was so noticeably smaller? “I’m still a bit confused on the reason you asked me to come with you.”

The Kuranta smiled as she handed her a pizza-piled plate. “Well, there’s a saying where I’m from: a stranger’s just a friend you haven’t met yet. I wanted to meet you today.”

“...Why, though?” Still wasn’t computing.

“Well, that’s a good question.” The officer took a bite of veggie supreme, taking her time with it. “I guess because I want to be your friend.”

Was she messing with her now? “Yes, but why?”

“Oh! That’s what you’re confused about? I mean, there’s really not another reason; I want to be friends because I want to.”

“Ah.” Rosa, realizing she had nothing to add from there, simply nodded as she enjoyed her sausage pizza. “I only know one other person who can think like that, but we’re both so busy nowadays...”

Grani gave her a pat/rub on the shoulder. “Well, I’m not going to be busy for the next couple weeks, so you can count on me!”

“Right.” The Ursus didn’t mean to sound ungrateful, but she still didn’t know this woman from a Knight-

“Here; that’s my cell number.” Did she just carry around cards with her number on them? “If you need anything, anything at all, just give me a call, and I’ll come running.”

She took the card and pocketed it; it’d be rude to put her number in her phone at the table with her. “I’ll keep you in mind.”

“Great! Oh, hey, waiter? Can we refills, please?”

‘Oh...When did I run out of water? And how did she notice before me?’ Natalya looked at Grani curiously. ‘And why me?’

-----------

Several hours later, as the sun began to set after a long day of work, Rosa was in her apartment, lying on her couch, looking at the card she’d taken and wondering what would happen if she called the Kuranta right now. Surely she’d be tired, too, but maybe she’d be free to talk?...That would be nice. She decided to take the chance, pulling out her phone and clicking in the digits. Less than one ring later, “Hello, Officer Grani speaking?”

“Good evening, Grani-”

“Rosa! Hi!” That was...much more enthusiasm than expected. “Want me to swing by?”

Huh? Well, honestly, “you’re not busy?”

“I might be off-duty, but my brain doesn’t know that yet. Heh. See you in a minute?”

“Sure thing.” Actually, while she was out, the noble had an idea. “Would you mind grabbing some vanilla ice cream?”

The officer chuckled. “You read my mind. I’ll be right over!”

“Thank you, Grani!” When was the last time she’d cheered like that? This- This had to be love, right? All the books said this was how love was supposed to feel, didn’t they? But how? They’d only known each other for a few hours now…

“Hey, Rosa, I’m here!” Knock knock. “Can I come in?”

The Ursus roused herself from the mental fog that’d slowly enveloped her enough to open the door. “Good eveni- that’s a large tub of ice cream.”

“I thought you might like leftovers!” It was at least two gallons of ice cream.

“That’s a good point. Thank you.” Why was she so damn cute? Was it the sheer enthusiasm, or maybe the fact that even her sweatpants had the thigh cutouts? “I must admit, I’m still not used to the thought of you being so...available.”

Grani shrugged as she went to the kitchen, ice cream in tow, and rummaged around for an ice cream scoop. “Just part of the deal, I guess. Hey, where do you keep your ice cream scoop?”

“Oh, I don’t have one; I eat from the tub itself usually.”

“Oh! Convenient.” Two spoons later, and the Kuranta was sitting on the couch, ice cream on a TV tray between them. “So, anything you wanna talk about?”

Rosa shook her head. “Not particularly, no. I just was...lonely, I suppose. After lunch, I didn’t see another person while I was at the office.”

“Not a one? That must’ve been awful.” Stupid TV tray blocked her from anything more than a pat on the shoulder. This would’ve been a great time for a hug.

“The strange part is that normally I’m used to it,” the noble replied. “I spend a great deal of time in my own head, but after we left, it took barely a few minutes before I missed you.”

The officer blinked, setting her spoon on the tray. “You didn’t call me, though?”

“I didn’t want to be a bother. Of course, now that you’re here, I see how silly that was, but at the time, it made sense.” She sighed, a faintly self-deprecating smile glued to her face.

“Well, shoot. If I’d known, I never would’ve left.” Grani chuckled. “Honestly, I thought you might need a little break, but it sounds like you hadn’t had enough of me yet.”

Natalya turned to look at her, and the words fell out of her mouth. “How could I possibly have enough of you?”

“I mean, some people think I’m a bit high-energy-”

“But that’s what makes you so precious!” There were two thoughts in Rosa’s mind at this point: ‘Stop playing all your cards, damnit!’ and ‘Heheh, pretty horse compliments go brrrr.’

That did elicit a blush from the Kuranta. “Precious, eh?”

“Absolutely...I don’t know what came over me just then,” she muttered once she was back in control of her own voice.

“Aw, that’s alright.” The officer stood up and sat down on the other side of the Ursus before giving her a side-hug. “Much better~”

As Grani set her head on her shoulder, Rosa suddenly felt tears coming to her eyes. “Grani...”

“Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, darlin’. I’m not going anywhere.” Especially not now holy shit she made a great pillow.

“...Good.” The noble’s fingers found their way to the Kuranta’s hair. “I didn’t know people could fall for each other so fast in real life.”

The officer would’ve replied to that, asking what she’d meant by ‘love,’ but honestly? Being this close to her right now, she understood exactly how she felt.

[searchingwardrobes]

Valentine Throwbacks: Day 5

This is another one that was written for the Valentine’s Day Prompts back in 2018. This was for Day One: Secret Admirer. I’m posting it last because it has a part two which I’ll post later.

I really wanted it to be Emma who is the secret admirer because all the fics I've read in this genre has Killian as the secret admirer. So I was going through the Chick-fil-A drive thru, mulling over how closed-off Emma could actually do that, and . . . well, this happened. I didn’t realize when I wrote this that the kind of drive thru at our Chick-fil-A was a prototype and not found anywhere else. Basically, instead of driving up to a window, there’s this open area where they just walk out and give you your food.

**Please note: I have made no attempts to hide that this story takes place at a Chick-fil-A. I have tagged it accordingly here and on Ao3. If you have a problem with Chick-fil-A, please just skip this story.**

Summary: Emma Swan is slightly embarrassed to admit that she sometimes goes through the Chick-fil-A drive thru twice a day. She's even more embarrassed to admit she's leaving anonymous notes for the owner-operator, Killian Jones.

Nominated for Best Captain Swan Modern AU One-Shot in the OUAT Fandom Awards 2018

Rated: G

Words: about 3k

Also on Ao3

Tagging: @snowbellewells​​​​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​​​​ @kmomof4​​​​ @let-it-raines​​​​ @teamhook​​​​ @bethacaciakay​​​​ @xhookswenchx​​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​​ @shireness-says​​​​ @stahlop​​​​ @scientificapricot​​​​ @welllpthisishappening​​​​ @resident-of-storybrooke​​​​ @thislassishooked​​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​​ @kday426​​​​ @ekr032-blog-blog​​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​​ @nikkiemms @optomisticgirl​​​​ @profdanglaisstuff​​​​ @carpedzem​​​​ @ohmakemeahercules���​​​ @branlovestowrite​​​​ @superchocovian​​​​ @sherlockwhovian​​​​ @vvbooklady1256​​​​ @hollyethecurious​​​​ @winterbaby89​​​​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​​​​ @jennjenn615​​​​ @snidgetsafan​​​​ @xsajx​​​​​ @itsfabianadocarmo​​​​ @spartanguard​​​​ @hookedonapirate​

Emma Swan was not a people person. It was for this reason that the Chick-fil-A drive-thru wasn’t her sort of thing. You had to talk – face to face – with at least four people just to get your food. And they asked for your name at the beginning of the entire process. Then everyone afterwards actually used it, with a mega-watt smile on their faces. And Emma Swan never would understand the Southern phenomenon of tacking “Miss” on the front of a person’s first name. Miss Swan, she understood. Miss Emma? Not so much.

But she had to hand it to those cheery employees walking up and down the line with their i-Pads. They were efficient. Which was one of the reasons Emma put aside her anti-social ways on her way to work. No matter how much of a hurry she was in, she could count on Chick-fil-A. She could be in and out of that line in five minutes flat.

Then there was the coffee. Sustainably sourced by local farmers. Or something. There was a big poster about it in the lobby. All Emma knew was that it was damn good, especially for a fast food place. And then there were chickin-minis. She had Mary Margaret to blame for getting her hooked on those. Or more accurately, her four year old son Leo. Tiny nuggets wrapped in tiny fluffy biscuits. Where had those been all her life? It was her new favorite food. Okay, breakfast food. Grilled cheese and onion rings still held the one and two spot.

So she gladly put up with the bright smiles and the over-the-top hospitality for a decent breakfast a couple of times a week. Or three. Okay, four max.

But she was not going to be one of those people who had drunk the kool-aid and made odes to how wonderful Chick-fil-A was on You Tube. And then Mary Margaret had to go and introduce her to the sweet iced tea.

“You can’t re-locate to Georgia and not drink sweet tea,” she had argued with Emma while practically shoving the straw in her mouth.

“So what next, MM? I have to start monogramming my towels?”

But she had begrudgingly took a sip anyway, and there was no turning back. Then she discovered the lemonade, and the cookies and cream milk shake. Some days, she was hearing “It’s been a pleasure to serve you, Miss Emma” twice in twelve hours.

She was one “Eat Mor Chikin” cow from making a You Tube video while holding a Styrofoam cup with a red straw.

To make her obsession even more embarrassing, it led – albeit indirectly – to her being an actual- to-God secret admirer. Who left anonymous love notes. Seriously. What had she become?

Killian Jones, according to his name tag, was the owner-operator of Emma’s neighborhood Chick-fil-A. She had figured immediately that he wasn’t just a regular burger- er – chicken sandwich flipper because he was wearing slacks and a navy blue button down shirt – no tie. His chest hair must need plenty of breathing room because he always had at least the first five buttons of his shirt undone (not that she was counting or anything). The first morning they met, he hadn’t started out on the best foot, inadvertently insulting her food preferences.

When he handed Emma her food, Killian Jones had leaned over slightly to glance in her back seat, simultaneously handing her a coupon.

“We’re doing a special promotion today. Would your little one like a gift card for a free cone?”

His words sort of trailed off when he saw that the backseat was empty. Emma had barked out a wry laugh.

“Uh, there’s no kid back there. Sorry.”

“My apologies,” he muttered as he stood quickly, his face flaming and his hand lifting to rest behind his ear, “I just assumed. You ordered the chicken minis, and usually people get those for their kids . . . “

Normally, Emma would have been insulted, but he seemed so genuinely embarrassed, that she simply chuckled. “Well, I have been told that I have the appetite of a twelve year old.”

The smile that he gave her was lopsided and almost sinful. He arched a very expressive brow, and leaned towards her open window with a conspiratorial whisper. “I must admit, I rather fancy them myself. I mean, they’re chicken nuggets in little biscuits. What’s not to love?”

“I know, right? It’s revolutionary.”

They gazed at one another way longer than necessary, threatening to bring imbalance to the well-oiled drive thru machine. Killian blinked, as if suddenly remembering where he was, awkwardly cleared his throat, and then handed Emma her coffee.

“It’s been a pleasure to serve you. God bless.”

In a slight daze, Emma took the coffee, noting the brush of his fingers against hers like she was some fifteen year old with a crush. It wasn’t until she was driving away that his accent registered with hers. Instead of a southern drawl, it had been a lilting Irish accent.

Intriguing.

********************************************************

Later that day, Emma’s hand literally shook as she took the Styrofoam cup of lemonade from the drive thru. For a brief moment, she considered chickening out – pun completely intended – but then shook off her fear and resolutely snatched the envelope from the passenger seat of her Bug.

“Could you give this to your owner-operator?”

“Okay,” the girl server said with a smile and a nod as she took the note, “we always like to hear how we can better serve our customers. Is there anything I can do to make your experience here better?”

“Oh,no!” Emma said quickly, making a quick slashing motion with her hand. “It isn’t a complaint. Quite the opposite actually. Just . . . “ she nervously bit her lower lip, “don’t tell him my name or . . . anything. Okay?”

The girl gave a slightly different smile this time as she pocketed the note. “Sure thing, ma’am.”

Emma couldn’t tell if the smile was just relief or a kind of knowing. Maybe the girl thought it was Emma giving her boss her phone number. Maybe women were frequently passing notes to Killian Jones. She wouldn’t be surprised. Emma’s face flamed red as she drove away.

It wasn’t like it was that kind of note. All it said was, “You made a hectic morning bearable. Thank you.” For a company that emphasized customer service so much, it was really just a thumbs up for a job well done. Like a positive review on Amazon. Nothing more.

********************************************************

Killian Jones was there again when Emma stopped to get a quick breakfast. This time, he arched a knowing brow when her yellow Bug pulled up to the curb.

“Ah, Miss Emma Swan once again. Your chicken minis, m’lady, and I must say, a fine dining choice for a woman of mature tastes.”

He gave a mock bow as he passed the bag through the window, and Emma was mortified when a giggle made its way past her lips. He waggled his eyebrows at her, to which she rolled her eyes. Yet, he had remembered her.

She cleared her throat as she took the bag, and then asked him, “I was wondering about the accent. Isn’t it the wrong one?”

At first, he furrowed his brow. “The wrong one . . . oh! You mean, as in, why don’t I go around saying mornin’ ma’am, or ya’ll have a good day now?”

Emma giggled again at his horrible impression of a Southern accent and shook her head. “Yeah, that’s what I mean. Your accent is . . . Irish?”

“Aye. And if you’re wondering how I ended up in Atlanta, well, the short version is I came across the pond as a kid.”

Emma nodded. It was about all she was going to get. She was sitting in a drive thru with at least half a dozen other cars behind her. So she simply nodded, tilted her head in a way that was only slightly flirtatious and said, “I like it.”

*****************************************************

The rest of the day sucked, to put it bluntly. The scumbag she was staking out took hours to show up, she twisted her ankle chasing him down, and she never did get to eat lunch. So today was a cookies and cream milkshake type of day.

And today the note she asked the girl at the drive thru to pass along to Killian Jones said, “I’m glad you moved here. It’s a long way from Ireland, but . . . welcome home – I hope.”

******************************************************

“Is that required?”

On this particular morning, it was pretty cold outside, and Killian had kept his banter at a minimum as he handed Emma her order. So maybe she was grasping at straws for a little interaction. Or maybe it was a legitimate question.

“Is what required?” he asked, both eyebrows jumping slightly.

“God bless,” Emma clarified, “everyone here says it. Is it company policy or something?”

Killian shrugged, “Sort of. I mean, not officially. You can’t make someone use religious language, of course. But we’re encouraged to if it’s something we believe in.” He pulled the collection of necklaces he always wore around his neck free from his pea coat and scarf. He grasped a pendant shaped like a cross and waved it at Emma. “And I’m a good Irish Catholic boy.”

The smile he gave her belied his words, especially when his tongue darted out to swipe at his bottom lip. Emma cocked her head to the side and gave him a teasing smile.

“Not so sure you’re always a good boy.”

He leaned down, lowering his voice to a timbre that did something to Emma’s insides. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Emma rolled her eyes as he leaned back with a triumphant grin. Then his features became suddenly sincere.

“However, Swan, I do wish you every blessing. I mean that.”

**************************************************

The cold weather made it a “second cup of coffee in the afternoon” sort of day. But she had brought in a skip so easily she could have done it blind-folded, her little nephew Leo stopped by her office with a picture he drew of the two of them in preschool, and Mary Margaret insisted she come over that night for David’s famous chili.

And Killian Jones wished her every blessing.

On today’s note, Emma wrote, “You make me smile. That’s rare. Thank you. (Or should I say, God bless?)”

She had hesitated including that last line. After all, she didn’t want to give herself away. But was there any harm in dropping a hint or two? She shook her head, sealed the envelope, and passed it off to the girl who received all of her notes for Killian. Emma now knew her name – Holly.

And did Holly just wink when she took her note?

*************************************************

“Lovely as always, Miss Swan.”

Killian’s hand lingered as he passed Emma her coffee. She blinked and opened her mouth to say something, and –

Jumped a foot in the air when the SUV behind her honked. She and Killian both laughed, and he shuffled backwards, his face turning red. His smile was a broad one that dimpled both cheeks and crinkled the corners of his eyes.

That day, Emma’s note read, “I find myself looking forward to your smiles. You’ve got a great one, but you’ve probably heard that before. Anyway, just wanted to let you know it always brightens my day.”

**************************************************

Today it was raining, and yet the employees of Chick-fil-A were still there, bravely traversing the drive-thru line in ponchos, their i-Pads encased in water proof plastic. Killian stood huddled beneath the awning at the service door, in a thick navy blue raincoat. Raindrops had gathered on his eyelashes, making the blue of his eyes sparkle in the gray misty haze of the Georgia rain.

“Wow,” Emma quipped when he handed her the to-go bag, “this is dedication. And still telling me, it’s a pleasure to serve you.”

His eyes seemed to light up even more as he smiled at her. “For you, Swan, it is more than a pleasure.”

That day, her note read, “Your blue eyes make a rainy day a little brighter.”

It was the most blatantly flirtatious note she had left, but she no longer cared.

************************************************

“Your accent is the wrong one too, you know.”

Emma smiled broadly as she leaned against the open window of her Bug. Killian made no move to give her her food, swinging the bag idly in his hand. She shrugged.

“Yeah, I moved around a lot growing up. Minnesota. Portland. I moved here a few months ago. I had been living in Tallahassee, but my foster sister wanted me here to be close to family. There’s way more work here in bail bonds anyway.”

Killian nodded as he handed her the bag of chicken minis and her coffee. “Well, Swan, welcome home . . . I hope.”

He winked before turning his back to receive the next order. Emma’s jaw dropped, but she had the sense to ease out of the line and onto the highway.

Did he know? To test it out, her note to him that day read, “I’ve never really felt at home anywhere. This is getting close. You’ve helped make it feel that way.”

**************************************************

Emma was only half listening to Mary Margaret as she set the table in her and David’s eat-in kitchen. Their house was small, but quaint, and was in a great neighborhood. They had been willing to buy a smaller house rather than keep renting in the apartment complex, knowing the back yard and park down the street were better for Leo. It worked out for Emma too, as she spent way more time here than in her lonely one bedroom apartment.

Mary Margaret was lecturing Emma about something – probably about how she ought to be more social – but Emma’s mind was on Killian Jones. Had he gotten her latest note yet? Would he figure out who she was? If so, would he think she was a total stalker?

“ . . . so since you keep giving me excuses, I just decided to ask Killian over for dinner tonight.”

The name tore Emma immediately from her daydreaming. “I’m sorry? What did you say?”

Mary Margaret shook her head at Emma. “I said set one more place because I invited that guy I told you about over for dinner.”

Emma set down the stack of forks she had been laying at each place and waved both hands back and forth. “Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You said his name was, what?”

Mary Margaret had been going on and on about her and David’s former neighbor at the apartments and how he would be perfect for Emma. But surely that couldn’t be the same Killian as her drive-thru Killian. Could it? Okay, so Killian wasn’t exactly a common name . . .

“Killian Jones,” Mary Margaret answered with an exasperated sigh.

Emma shook her head rapidly. “Killian Jones? What . . . what does he do for a living?”

Mary Margaret grabbed the forks Emma had abandoned. “He’s the owner-operator of the Chick-fil-A near here. I was going to introduce you the day you went with me and Leo, but Killian was at some training thing at corporate.”

Emma grabbed the back of a chair as the room started to spin. Crap. She had to go and open herself up in that damn note today. And Mary Margaret just had to invite him over for dinner, tonight of all nights.

This was going to be interesting.

*****************************************************

Killian was just as surprised as she was when he arrived at the Nolans. Apparently, Mary Margaret had gushed on about her “sister,” but had failed to mention a name. They told Mary Margaret and David about their interactions in the drive thru, and everyone had a good laugh about it. What a small world! How ironic! That sort of thing. Killian seemed no different than normal. Maybe he hadn’t gotten the note yet?

Emma, on the other hand, was wound tight. Maybe things had been more comfortable between them when there was a car door and a time restraint. Or maybe it was all those stupid notes hanging over Emma’s head. Whatever it was, it made Emma’s face feel like it was stuck in a perpetual blush. She couldn’t think of a damn thing to say, and Mary Margaret and David were not-so-subtly trying to play matchmaker as they attempted to steer the conversation Emma’s way. But all she could do was give one word answers and stare at her plate.

“Well,” Killian said with a satisfied sigh, “I can’t tell you Mary Margaret how delicious this was. Working at a restaurant all day, the last thing I feel like doing when I get home is cook. This was amazing, really.”

Mary Margaret beamed at his compliment. “Well, we are pleased to have you. You should come over more often. We miss you. Right, David?”

“Yeah,” David chuckled, shoving Killian’s shoulder, “I’ve got no one to watch hockey games with anymore. It’s not really a popular sport around here.”

“The notes were from me,” Emma blurted out.

Everyone immediately fell silent at Emma’s completely out of context outburst. Except for Leo, who ran his fork across his plate with a loud screech and demanded to know what was for dessert.

Emma lifted her gaze from her lap to meet Killian’s. “The notes that kept arriving at Chick-fil-A in the afternoons? They were all from me.” She let out a long, shaky breath.

“I know,” was all Killian said in response.

Emma’s eyes widened. “I – I thought you might. When did you figure it out?”

He chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I suspected, or hoped, it was you from the start. You see, every note corresponded with our morning interactions. But of course, today confirmed it. I was testing you by quoting one of your notes, and then when the note this afternoon was about home . . . “

He trailed off, a grin splitting his face.

“You hoped it was me from the start?”

He nodded, and Emma just sat there grinning right back at him like a fool. Mary Margaret hurriedly jumped from the table, scooping up Leo.

“Hey!” the little boy protested. “What about dessert?”

“We’ll eat cookies in front of the TV,” Mary Margaret muttered in response, “David, now.”

Killian and Emma chuckled as their matchmakers hurried from the kitchen. Emma felt as nervous as she had been back in junior high when she went to her first school dance. Killian rose from his seat across from her and came to take the seat beside her. They both shifted their chairs to be a little closer.

“I felt something between us the moment I first saw you,” Killian said.

“You mean when you offered my non-existent kid a free ice cream cone?”

Killian chuckled and ducked his head. How a man could be so sexy, cocky, and bashful all at the same time was incredibly endearing. He lifted his eyes to meet hers, a silent question passing between them. Emma nodded imperceptibly as they both leaned towards one another. When Killian’s lips met hers, the contact was charged with an intense attraction she had never felt before.

Except when his fingers had brushed hers in the drive thru.

Those fingers now carded through her hair as she tilted her head to deepen the kiss. His lips were soft against hers, but his kisses were firm and passionate. His other hand came up to gently caress her face, his thumb tracing her jaw and coming to rest on her chin. Emma pulled back, giving him a shy smile, which he returned. Then they resumed kissing, their tongues entwined in a dance so perfect, it felt as if they had been molded to fit together. When they finally parted, they were breathing heavily. Emma rested her forehead against his and sighed in complete contentment.

“Emma,” he murmured. God, she loved the way he said her name!

“Yeah,” she mumbled back dreamily.

“It’s definitely been a pleasure to serve you.”

[jisungsmochi]

the arcade boy - ldh

the arcade worker ! haechan and customer!reader 

this is pretty cheesy ngl but i just saw this scenario in my head one day and HAD to write about it! this is also for @strawberryhyucks hehe <3 

this is also part of my nct dream job au !! you can read:

diner boy! renjun  bubble tea worker ! jeno 

word count: 2.9k 

feel free to send in requests / tell me your thoughts! thank you :)) 

//

“late again i see” the manager of the neo zone arcade, taeyong, shook his head at the puffed-out boy.

“sorry, the bus drove straight past me! i had to sprint here” haechan was still trying to catch his breath, hands grabbing the sides of the counter to stable his stance.

“it’s fine, rest up in the break room, and get ready to work in 10 minutes. got it?” taeyong responded in a calmer manner, feeling bad for the boy. haechan nodded, making his way to the break room.

“dude! i thought you were finally going to get fired” mark chuckled from the corner of the room, shoving haechan softly.

“i’m so close to it though. i need to find a more stable ride to and from work” haechan huffed again.

“here’s a thought! get your damn licence!” mark rolled his eyes, taking a seat next to him.

“yeah yeah, it’s not like i have a car to drive anyway! why do you think i’m working here?” haechan replied, laying his head flat on the table.

“you’re so dramatic, better get ready to work. taeyong isn’t gonna catch us slacking off today!” mark cheerfully exclaimed, waltzing out of the room.

“we’re seriously going to the arcade again? y/n, is it because of the cute guy who works there?” jaemin teased.

“what? no! i just want to win this panda plushie! is that so much to ask?” you bit the inside of your cheek, feeling called out by your best friend’s accusations.

“yeah sure, i’m only helping because i want you to get more coupons so we can get free food” jaemin chuckled, as you both entered the arcade.

“i’ll go get the tokens!” you announced abruptly, practically running to the counter. jaemin just shook his head in amusement, knowing the true reason you were so excited.

as you waited at the counter, your heart was beating a mile a minute. you crossed your fingers that haechan was working today. not like you two were friends, or even acquaintances. for a matter of fact, he was the cute boy at the arcade, who always happened to be working when you wanted to play some games...

“hello! may i help you?” a voice called from the side, causing your head to shoot up in anticipation. there he was. he had a black denim jacket over his white hoodie, with his name tag crookedly attached onto it. his hair was covered with a beanie, only some strands hanging out from his forehead. he had a bright smile on his face, which made you melt inside. you were pretty good at hiding your complete admiration for him. but haechan on the other hand, not so much.

it was well known between the arcade staff that haechan found you attractive. he would rave about you to mark, praising how good you were at practically all the games in the arcade. and most importantly, how you were his ideal girl.

“well why don’t you just go for her then?” mark always asks.

“because she clearly has a boyfriend! i’m not a homewrecker” haechan would respond. mark just shrugs and continues listening to his friend ramble.

“could i please have 10 tokens?” you smile softly at him, watching as he just nods and grabs some from under the counter.

“here you go” he hands you the bundle, his fingers grazing over yours. you shyly smile, while counting up the tokens,

“oh you gave me 15” you gave him a confused look, as he softly chuckled,

“just giving you some more chances to win that panda, y/n” he replied, looking down at the counter.

you were practically combusting at this point. he knew your name. well, considering you came there pretty much every day after classes, he would remember your face. and it didn’t take long for him to pick up your name, due to the amount of times jaemin would whine it when he wanted to go home.

“thankyou so much, haechan” you gave him a small wave before making your way back to jaemin.

“god you’re such a loser” jaemin teased, pulling you to his side and slinging an arm around you.

“i know” you just sigh, not seeing haechan stare at the both of you, feeling his heart tighten. he didn’t even know you all that well, so why did it hurt him so much to see you taken?

//

“see you tomorrow mark!” haechan chuckled as he removed his name tag from his jacket.

“i hate how you changed shifts” mark whined, watching as haechan waves cheerfully, practically sprinting out of the arcade. at the same time, he felt his body slam into someone else’s, much smaller.

“ouch” he heard the familiar voice mutter, his eyes widen with shock, looking as you were trying to stand back up.

“i’m so sorry” he mumbled repeatedly, helping you stand.

“it’s okay, that was pretty embarrassing!” you smiled up at him, which made him feel less worried.

“where were you rushing off to anyway?” he watched as you flattened down your shirt and look at him.

“i was uh, coming back to get that panda” you tried your best to not blow your cover.

“so determined for it, i might just have to break in and get it for you” he chuckled, as you laughed along. it was clear to you that he had just finished his shift. but you really didn’t want him to go,

“i’m hungry, do you want to get something?” you blurt out, avoiding his eyes. haechan was just as shocked, trying to contain his excitement.

“sure! i- i mean, if you want to” he responded, almost in a mumble. you looked over at him and smile before leading him towards the food court located right next to the arcade.

“you like curly fries?” he pulled out his wallet, waiting in line to order.

“of course! who doesn’t?” you slightly giggle, still not believing that you two were properly hanging out.

haechan just nodded along, before stepping up to order. you also pulled out your wallet, ready to hand him half of the bill. but he stopped you, paying for the meal himself.

“oh haechan, you really didn’t have to” you poured, walking with him to an empty table.

“it’s okay, really!” he replied, unsure of how to even act around you. for all he knew, you had a boyfriend. jaemin. who he believed he could never compete with. thoughts of being with you alone, gave him some mixed feelings, which you eventually caught onto. it made the atmosphere awkward at times during the meal, but you tried your best to not get you down. maybe he wasn’t that into you, you thought. on the other hand, haechan was mentally beating himself up, feeling guilty for asking you to hang out when you were taken. of course he was complete infatuated with you, but to him, he wanted to win you over. the right way. he wanted you to be his.

“thankyou for the meal, haechan. i am so full right now” you chuckle, walking with him out of the building.

“no problem! i hope you get home safely, see ya!” he hurriedly exclaims, not waiting for your response.

“oh maybe we should do it again sometime” you whispered to yourself. your thoughts consumed you once again, he’s definitely not into me.

//

“so you’re telling me, you guys ate together and he just left right after?” jaemin furrowed his eyebrows as you both were walking out of the school gates.

“yeah! he just ran off like he would rather do anything but talk to me” you sighed, mentally cringing at that moment.

“well maybe he was nervous!” jaemin shrugged, unsure of how to justify the clueless boy’s actions.

“or maybe he’s just not into me” you poured, slumping your shoulders.

“gosh you’re dramatic” jaemin rolled his eyes before ruffling your hair, you shoved his hands away, fixing up your appearance.

“i’ve never seen you like this, y/n. you must really like him” he continued to tease, skipping along the footpath while giggling at you.

“you’re a literal child, go buy me some frozen yogurt” you nudge his shoulder as you both walked to the nearby mall.

meanwhile, haechan was starting his shift at the arcade.

“woah you’re on time for once” mark teased, patting haechan on the back.

“mark, can i ask you something?” haechan mumbled, pulling aside the older boy.

“uhh sure what’s up?” mark gave him a concerned look, putting down whatever he was planning to do.

“i treated y/n to a meal yesterday, and well, i kind of ran off after, leaving her hanging” haechan explained, also mentally cringing at himself.

“god you really have no game. why did you run off? i thought you liked her?” mark questioned.

“well she’s clearly dating that guy she’s always with! they look like a great couple. i felt so guilty for being with her and flirting! like i’m not about to be a homewrecker!” haechan sighed, pulling at his hair.

“dude, i know you’re a good guy and all, but think about this. did she ever mention once that she had a boyfriend?” mark rolled his eyes playfully, resting a hand to the younger’s shoulder.

haechan shook his head,

“and was she actually invested in all your conversations?” mark raised an eyebrow,

haechan nodded in response.

“what i’m seeing here, is that she might be into you too. why else would she agree to eat with you, when she was walking into the arcade? she clearly didn’t come to play games! and she came alone! put the dots together dude, you’re supposed to be smarter than me!” mark shook haechan’s shoulders furiously, laughing at the clueless boy.

“oh god, what if you’re right?! i totally messed up with her!” haechan groaned, pulling his head down to face his feet.

“don’t be like that. if she’s still interested, she’ll come here again. you must have noticed she only really plays one game. the claw machine, AND it happens to be the machine closest to the counter. i’m just saying” mark shrugged, giving haechan’s a small nudge and heading off to finish his duties.

haechan stood, putting the pieces all together. he smiled to himself before helping out mark. maybe he stood a chance.

“y/n, i want to get an iced coffee! they have the deal with the little macaroons! ” jaemin groaned playfully, pulling at your arm as you lead him to the arcade. 

“i wanna see if haechan’s working, that’s all!” you rolled your eyes, “i’ll be quick!” you smiled, dragging your best friend who would rather be eating a good burger, along with you.

“code red” mark smirked, looking over at you, haechan’s eyes followed.

“w-what do i say? should i even talk to her? that’s the boyfriend” haechan mumbled, slowly pacing, avoiding eye contact with you.

“goodluck buddy” was all mark could say, before he left to fix a broken game.

you looked over at the counter, smiling at haechan. he smiled back, you took it as a good sign.

“see! it won’t be awkward, go talk to him now! i need to get that deal” jaemin shoved you softly before patting your shoulders and running out of the arcade.

you took a deep breath before taking small steps towards the boy. he could feel you approaching, and tried to pretend he was doing some ‘important work’.

“hi” your voice was shaky.

“hey” he responded, immediately drawing his attention to you.

“about yesterday...” you started,

“i shouldn’t have left you! i feel so bad” haechan admitted, avoiding your eyes. you let a smile creep up on your face,

“it’s okay. i actually came to ask if you would like to go out...again? like a proper...” you couldn’t finish your sentence,

“like a date?” haechan breathed out softly, trying to push away the feeling of excitement. you nodded enthusiastically, glad he was able to catch on.

“i mean, i’d love to, but i’m, wouldn’t your boyfriend he uncomfortable with that?” haechan stammered, nerves slowly taking over.

“boyfriend? you mean jaemin?” he just nodded, now knowing his name. you started giggling uncontrollably, causing him to furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

“oh god no! he’s wayyy too flirty for me. we’ve been best friends since middle school. he’s not my boyfriend” you explained. haechan automatically felt a huge relief, bringing himself to blush.

“i-im sorry for assuming! if i had known, i would have asked you out ages ago” he admitted, now it was your turn to blush.

“r-really?” you murmured, shocked at his words. you were about to continue the conversation when taeyong interrupted.

“i’m not paying you for small talk, so you will both have to finish this conversation after hours okay?” he sternly spoke to both of you,

“i’m sorry! it was my fault” you slightly pouted, which made haechan’s heart beat faster than it already was.

“it’s okay, i’m sorry taeyong, i’m getting back to work” haechan responded, watching as the older boy nods and walks to the back room.

“text me when you want to go on that date” you smiled widely, handing him a slip of paper with your number. haechan was speechless, never in a million years did he think he would get this far with you.

you waved at him before you left the arcade to go find jaemin to rave about the good news. mark approached the love struck boy, shaking his head while chuckling.

“ahh young love. my son has grown up!” mark fakes crying, haechan just shoved him slightly.

“whatever grandpa”

//

*new message*

haechan: hi! is this y/n?

y/n: yes! hi haechan! :)

haechan: about that date, i’m thinking we should go to the park? maybe have a picnic? i’m sorry if that’s lame

y/n: i think it’s perfect! let me know the location and time and i’m there!

haechan: sweet, i can’t wait :)

//

you put on your most flattering floral dress, hoping you weren’t dressing too extra. of course you wanted to spruce up your appearance, especially since its your first proper date. you sent some snaps to jaemin, asking for best friend’s opinions and all,

“dude, he’s gonna love it. that outfit POPS off” jaemin’s wise words stuck with you as you made your way to the park. you held a small basket with you, filled with small snacks you found in your house. you both planned to go to a ramen restaurant after, knowing your huge appetites.

you stood under the tree he suggested you’d meet, swinging the basket side to side softly. your heart was beating out of your chest. you were finally going on a date with the cute boy at the arcade. it excited you more than anything you had experienced.

“well hey there stranger” haechan’s voice echoed close to your ear, which made you blush. he pulled you in for a short hug, which you weren’t expecting. you let him embrace you, smiling into his shoulder.

“oh crap! you actually packed a lot of snacks! if i had known, i wouldn’t have just bought the mat and a random packet of seaweed” he softly sighed, you just shook your head in amusement due to his cuteness.

“it’s fine! i wanted to bring these just for you” you smiled as you both sat on the mat. haechan couldn’t take his eyes off of you. you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. as you were explaining the snacks you had brought, haechan was debating whether or not it was the right time to give you his gift. as you wrapped up your explanations, haechan looked up at you.

“i have a present for you” he blurts, nervously waiting for your response.

“what? haechan! you really didn’t have to! these are just some jam sandwiches-“

“no no, i’ve been planning to get you this for a while” he shyly admitted, watching as you started blushing. he pulled out a plushie from his backpack. your jaw practically dropped, it was the panda plushie you had been trying to get from the claw machine.

“oh my goodness! this is the cutest thing ever, well besides you anyway” you slyly slipped in the last comment, leaving haechan frozen.

you smirked at the boy, taking advantage of his clueless nature, by giving him a small peck on the cheek.

“thank you so much. how did you get this? don’t tell me you broke into the machine!!” you chuckled, imaging the situation.

“no no! i actually won it! i swear, even ask mark” he put his hands up in defence. you nodded along, admiring the thoughtful gift.

“haechan” you softly spoke, shuffling yourself to sit side by side to him, so that your shoulders were pressed against eachother.

“i really like you, i’ve liked you since i first saw you working”

haechan’s eyes widened, unaware of how long you’ve actually had feelings for him. he took your hand in his, smiling at you.

“i really like you too, for quite a while. i was just scared to ask you out” he sighed, gently rubbing his thumb over your skin.

“i’m glad we’re here now! i don’t regret this one bit” you lean your head against on shoulder, snuggling closer to him.

“me neither” he mutters softly, still playing with your hand.

the cute boy from the arcade became your boyfriend after that day. jaemin teased you everytime you wanted to visit haechan at work, and mark did not hold back with his teasing either. haechan made you feel like a kid all over again, carefree and happy, and you were eternally grateful he came into your life.

[birthdaytoast]

c o f f e e s h o p

@ang3lba3 and I combined this ask with @rockpapertheodore ‘s request for “cumbending.” It takes place in the republic city housewives AU, which you don’t need to know to understand (it’s literally just a republic city au)> Also, it’s NSFW but like, barely. 

The thing about Sokka, is that it’s easy to forget how smart he is. Between his terrible sense of humor, his dedication to slapstick, and his general disdain for academia, he’s pretty easily underestimated. 

“It’s a simple question, Zuko, yes or no?” Sokka asks, obstinately. His arms are crossed, and he’s pouting.

“I— it is not a simple question, and I’m not qualified to answer it,” Zuko says. “And this isn’t the place for this.”

They’re in public. Somehow, through sheer cleverness, Sokka’s managed to engage Zuko in another outrageous argument where people can hear it.  

“Sounds like someone’s not as good a bender as he says he is,” Sokka sighs, slouching in apparent defeat.

It’s not even a particularly clever manipulation on Sokka’s part, is the thing. Sokka’s smart enough to play him better, to be more subtle. But he doesn’t need to be, because he plays Zuko like a harp. 

“NO!” Zuko snaps. “No, okay?!” The entire shop twists to look at him, but it’s just for a moment. They’re used to him.

He lowers his voice anyways, leaning forward to hiss at Sokka. “No, I don’t think there are cumbenders. The fifth element, if it exists, would be— spirit, or life. Not semen.”

Sokka’s eyes glint in victory, and he matches Zuko’s pose, leaning his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his palm thoughtfully. “I never said a thing about any fifth element. Jizz is made of liquid, right?” 

“Why—” Zuko asks, desperately. He was going to ask why Sokka hasn’t asked a waterbender about this, but then he realized he didn’t want to hear about it if he had. “I’m a firebender. That doesn’t mean I can bend— hot air. Mercury is a liquid, but it’s not water.”

“Hm,” Sokka says, eyebrow arching. “But-- you can bend heat. You do it all the time, when you make your hands cold and put them down my--” 

“My heat,” Zuko emphasizes, and then puts his face in his hands. “Shut up. Shut up. Don’t fucking say it.”

Sokka doesn’t need to, grinning huge as Jin strolls over with a wooden tray in her hands. 

“Hey guys!” Jin says, cheerfully. “Whatchya talking about?”

“Zuko just raised a very interesting point about how waterbenders can bend their own cum,” Sokka answers cheerfully. 

Jin, bless her and damn her both, is completely unfazed. “Wouldn’t they be able to bend all cum?” she asks, leaning the tray at an angle against her hip. “I mean, it’s liquid, right?”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Sokka says, snapping his fingers decisively. 

“This is a nightmare,” Zuko mutters. “I’m going to wake up.”

“Aww, you dream about me?” Jin asks, twirling her hair on her finger.  

Sokka opens his mouth and Zuko knows, he knows that he’s about to say something humiliating. So he jumps to his feet and shouts, eyes drawn to him again, “I WOULD LOVE TO TRY YOUR NEW DRINK PLEASE.” 

“There’s a new drink?” Jin asks Sokka, intrigued. Sokka mouths special sauce at her. She mouths nonsense back, to indicate she hadn’t caught it.

“How perceptive,” Uncle says from the drape that hangs over the door to the kitchens. “I wasn’t sure if I would try it. Here, we can try it together.” 

“I will get you for this,” Zuko tells Sokka in an undertone, finger jabbing at him furiously. Then he turns to his Uncle, grimace fixed firmly on his face. “Sounds great.”

“Uncle!” Sokka says happily, eyes on Zuko’s. “We’re having a debate. What have you got for us?” He pulls out a seat for Uncle, taking the tray from his hands and setting it on the table in front of them. 

The tea set is a deep brown, the cups larger but more shallow than the ones he typically uses in the teashop. There’s a strange, indecipherable scent trailing from the spout of the teapot in a misty swirl. 

“Hmm,” Uncle says, settling in with a huff. Zuko, resigned, sits down. The shop returns to their own, probably blissfully cum free, conversations. “I would be willing to trade one honest opinion for another. What is the topic?”

“Wheth--” “Whether or not benders can bend things outside of their elements,” Zuko interrupts, stomping on Sokka’s foot. 

“It’s not outside of their element, it’s a liquid,” Jin insists. 

“Don’t you have customers?” Zuko asks meanly. 

“I don’t work here,” Jin says dismissively. 

“What?” 

“It’s true, she doesn’t,” Uncle says casually, patting the chair next to him. Jin sits down, settling her serving tray on her lap. She’s wearing one of the Jasmine Dragon’s aprons, identical to the one that Uncle has on. 

“Well, if you want the good coupons, raw sexual appeal will only get you so far,” Jin says, reasonably. 

“So if I were to sneeze,” Sokka says, and Uncle scowls at him and puts a protective arm over the tea-set. “Hypothetically! Hypothetically sneeze, would a waterbender be able to--” “I don’t think that’s better,” Zuko moans, making a face. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” 

“Ah,” Uncle says, wisely. “Piss. Yes, they can.”

Zuko grabs the pot of tea, and pours it directly into his mouth, managing to mostly empty it. It’s disgusting, bitter and burnt.

“Alright, there’s Uncle’s opinion,” Zuko says. “Uncle, my honest opinion is this tastes horrible.”

“Yes, I thought that might be the case. Some enterprising individuals assure me that this drink is gaining popularity in Ba Sing Se, specifically for its medicinal purposes. Alas, ground beans did sound too good to be true.” Uncle sighs, stroking his beard. 

“It’s not even leaf water?” Zuko asks. His skin is starting to feel strange, buzzing slightly. His face flushes. 

Sokka and Jin are staring at him. They stare at him a lot, but this is different, like they’re judging him. He scowls, and blushes more, and crosses his arms. “WHAT,” he asks, too loud. He twitches. His fire feels— odd. It’s sliding through his veins so easily. “What. Medicinal properties?”

Uncle is also staring at him now. So is everyone else in the shop, and Zuko’s heart pounds in his chest as he slides further down the seat and pulls the collar of his robe up and over his mouth. 

He can feel every hair on his head. He thinks he can feel hairs he hasn’t grown yet. 

“Hm. Perhaps I should have investigated that aspect more thoroughly,” Uncle says. Sokka’s expression has gone from gleeful to worried, and he leans forward, reaching for Zuko. 

“I’m fine,” Zuko says, high pitched. He moves to his feet, dodging Sokka’s hands. “Stop— don’t look at me. Stop looking at me. Is it hot in here? It’s hot in here, isn’t it.”

He bounces on the balls of his feet, flapping his hands at his face to try and get some circulation.

Sokka frowns and looks to the other cups of brown, stinking liquid. Then, in slow motion, horror dragging through Zuko’s veins, he shrugs. And. Downs one. “BLECH,” Sokka says, wrinkling his nose and sticking out his tongue. “Why is it so thick?” 

“Bottoms up!” Jin says, holding her nose as she gulps hers. She gags a little, but pushes through it like a real champ.

The bean-tea in the pot had been less thick. Probably. Zuko rolls his tongue over his teeth, briefly absorbed by the sensation. 

“Gritty,” he says.

“Sandy,” Sokka agrees. 

“That would be the ground beans,” Uncle says. “Hm. Do you think that earthbenders can bend ground items?”

“There would have to be earth in them,” Sokka says, blinking rapidly. Jin is sitting completely still for the first time Zuko’s ever seen. 

Zuko forces himself to sit back down. 

“Beans come from the earth,” he says. 

“And cum comes from the soul,” Sokka says sagely. “So, the Avatar--” Uncle stands abruptly, takes the tray, and heads back to the kitchens while Zuko’s still trying to process the words cum and Sokka’s mouth and Uncle, sitting right there. 

“Hey!” Jin says, and follows him. “Wait, I think whatever it does is working on me!”

(Safely ensconced in the kitchen, with only Jin to see, Iroh lets himself break into giggles. Zuko’s face.)

“Wow,” Zuko says, wonderingly. “I guess I’m going to kill you and then myself.” 

“Aww,” Sokka says, and puts a hand over Zuko’s. Zuko’s fingers twitch feebly. Murderously. “You’re a real romantic, Zuko. Did you know that? Have I told you that today?”

“I believe all cumbending should be saved for committed relationships,” Zuko says, trying to convince himself not to dig his nails into Sokka’s hand. He digs them into the table instead.

“I kinda wanna cumbend right now,” Sokka grins. His legs are shaking under the table. Zuko knows, because it’s shaking the table, their actual leaf-water teacups tinkling as they shudder against the little clay plates. 

“I’m gonna cumbend you into a dumpster,” Zuko says, and threads their fingers together. He stands, because he can’t stand to sit any longer. “My room’s an acceptable substitute. Unfortunately.”

“Your room is a dumpster,” Sokka agrees, skip-hopping over to the stairs, dragging Zuko along behind him. “This stuff was gross. We should let Katara look at it. Does your Uncle have more? See if your Uncle has more, I want some for myself. I bet I could make it taste good.” 

“Uh huh. Keep talking. See if I bend anything for you,” Zuko says, unlocking the apartment. “I need to move out. I can’t ever speak to him again.”

“I know I say that I can make anything taste good, but I truly mean it. This won't be like that spicy bread bowl thing, I’m pretty sure that if I add--”

“Sokka,” Zuko sighs, opening the door. “Stop calling it spicy.”

“Do you think that you can bend my cum if it’s spicy?” Sokka asks, and Zuko gives into the temptation and shoves him back against the couch. 

“You’re pretty hot,” he says, toppling him. “Why don’t I just bend you?”

Sokka doesn’t answer. Instead he just-- giggles. A lot. It’s adorable. “I thought you’d never ask,” he finally says, and Zuko realizes-- he’s been played. Spirits, but it’s easy to forget how smart Sokka is, sometimes. 

“That is not acceptable foreplay,” he says, climbing on top of him. It’s a ‘do what I say, not what I do’ kind of situation. He rests his ass on Sokka’s stomach, so that if he wants any kind of friction he’ll have to grab his hips, move him. He points threateningly down into Sokka’s face. “This isn’t going to work again.”

“I’m thinking, more water, less heat,” Sokka says conversationally. His hands settle on Zuko’s hips, fingers twitching, tapping an erratic pattern against his skin. “Maybe something sweet? Or, something creamy? Lots of people don’t like sealcow milk, I wonder--” 

“Shut up,” Zuko groans. He kisses him, entirely out of self defense. Not because this is working on him.

“Mff, Zuko, I think I’m onto something,” Sokka says against his mouth. He’s laughing, though, and his hands clutch more forcefully at Zuko’s hips, obviously having him on. 

“No, I’m on some thing,” Zuko says, twitching his hips teasingly, bumping at the head of Sokka’s erection.

Sokka’s eyes shine, all squinty and cute with the force of his amusement. “Not yet you’re not, if you don’t stop wasting time talking.” 

Zuko slides further up Sokka’s stomach. “Actually, no, why don’t you tell me about how you’re going to fix the horrible bean juice? I don’t know what I was saying earlier, it’s a real stimulating top—”

“I’m a stimulating top,” Sokka says, and there’s a gasp and a giggle and lots of movement and then, not very much talking at all. 

At one point, lost in ecstasy, Zuko thinks he hears Sokka murmur, “cumbending, go.” 

He pretends he doesn’t. 

That’s what love is, sometimes.

[yixxes]

Anger Management | p.p.

Warnings: Cursing, altercation w a stranger, y/n has a bit of an attitude/anger problem

Word count: 1722

A/N: The reader is Bucky’s younger sister which is like not possible but it’s fine. Enjoy (: 

.

.

“Oh, go fucking fuck yourself!” 

“Hey!” Bucky gave you the look he always gave you when you stepped out of line and you rolled your eyes. You weren’t in the mood to be scolded but your brother obviously didn’t care. “Watch your mouth! The hell’s wrong with you?”

You spared him a two second scowl when he approached the couch, his curious frown trading in for realization and then quickly switching to disappointment. “Seriously? This is your problem?” 

Your brows furrowed and your lips jutted out in an annoyed grimace. “This game is stupid, he’s been cheating for the past eight rounds!”

Sam raised his hands with an amused smile on his face that you found beyond annoying. “Hey, I didn’t do anything, but look, I’ll apologize: I’m sorry you picked up the controller before you knew you couldn’t play.”

“Here,” your brother shoved you over and sat in your place before you could enlighten Sam with your colorful vocab and snatched up the controller from your hands. “let me kick his ass for you.”

Sam cackled at Bucky’s confidence and readied up another round. “Yeah, let’s see how far you get with that one.”

“I was playing with that.” You grumbled. 

“You’ll live.” 

You watched how your brother tapped different buttons and chose certain patterns and inwardly noted how it contrasted to your inarticulate button mashing. It always worked when you played with Steve, why would it not work with...

Crap.

Of course Steve let you win! “That bastard!”

“Y/n,” Bucky warned you firmly and you hated how he kept the button pattern going even when he took his eyes off the screen to stare you down. “seriously, watch your mouth. Who are you even talking about?”

“Come on, kid, I’ll apologize for real if that’s what you want.” 

“Not you,” you muttered to Sam. “Steve, he lets me win at this stupid game.” You turned to look at Steve who was on the other side of the couch, smiling guiltily at you.

“You’ll live.” Your brother said again, distracted. “Why don’t you go to the store, we need snacks.”

“Then go get them.”

Bucky paused the game with a sigh and turned to you after setting the controller down on the table. He fished his wallet out of his pocket and pulled out a few bills that he extended to you before nodding towards the hall that led to the door. Buck wasn’t asking and you weren’t trying him any further. 

“Ugh.” You snatched the money and got up from the couch, but you weren’t clear to go yet.

“Stay away from people and don’t go fighting with strangers again.”

What a gross assumption. “That was literally only two ti-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go with her.” Peter came up and threw an arm around you. Your sisterly attitude towards your brother melted into a smile and butterflies. 

“Good, hey, make sure she doesn’t speed.”

“Got it!” He called over his shoulder, already making his way to the door with your hand in his.

.

“I don’t get it.” 

Peter frowned and got to explaining the joke to you. “Because the ham sandwich is ordering the beer, but the bartender says-”

You pushed a loaf of bread off of the shelf and let it fall into the basket. “Why would a ham sandwich be ordering anything, it’s a ham sandwich-”

“It’s a joke,” he said pointedly. His attitude at the fact that you didn’t laugh at his joke was funnier than the joke itself. “Why are you laughing? Do you get it now?”

“Yup. ‘s really funny, baby, will you grab the coffee grounds, I’m gonna go get a bag of chips,” 

“Okay, wait for me by the chips, I’ll meet you there.” 

You nodded and leaned up and forward to kiss his puckered lips and then went off towards the chip aisle with the cart. As much as you were opposed to this shopping trip at first, you really enjoyed doing stuff like this with Peter. Anywhere else, there were eyes on you at all times. With the two of you being the babies of the group and Bucky picking up the overprotective trait that older brothers usually had, your privacy and alone time with Peter typically ranged from scarce to nonexistent. Going on little snack runs with him where you could hold hands and kiss without scrutiny was nice. It even made you think about how maybe sometime down the line you and Peter would have a shared place of your own and trips like these would occur much more frequently and that definitely made you smile.

Your smile was short lived, though, when some man stopped his cart right in the way of yours and decided that right then and there was a perfect opportunity to take a look at his phone. 

Breathe in through your nose, Bucky always instructed, and out through your mouth. It could’ve been an honest mistake. Maybe he didn’t see you there, you thought to yourself. So, with a polite but rigid smile, you spoke out to him. “’Scuse me, sir, I’m trying to get through.”

He turned to you with an annoyed expression, phone still in hand. He didn’t even look sorry. “And I’m trying to send a text. Some of you damn teenagers were never taught manners a day in your life.”

Manners!? You went over your words in your head and came up with zero reason why some middle aged prick was choosing to yank your chain like this. Your anger was already begging to be let out but you were trying hard to remember how condescending everybody had been back at the tower. They didn’t think you could make it back without blowing up on someone and you planned on proving them wrong.

“Your cart is in my way.” You returned firmly. 

“And your patience is just that thin, isn’t it?”

You stared at that man for a few painful seconds. Was he trying to fuck with you? For all of the time that he wasted being a dick without cause, he could’ve moved his cart and been done with you. Paranoia struck and you took a glance around the immediate area. Maybe the guys were here, lurking around to see how long you could hold out, but after a look around you realized how ridiculous that thought was. The guys weren’t here and this wasn’t a test. This guy was a douche and you were letting it slide but you weren’t sure you should’ve been. 

“Can you just move your freakin’ cart?” The ‘before I move it for you’ was as silent as the g in lasagna. What was he? 6′1, 6′2? You’d debunked and corrected taller, this would be a breeze. 

You quickly shook that thought from your head. You weren’t fighting this grown man. 

“Just go around!” He practically shouted.

“Go around where!? You’re blocking the-”

He yanked the front of you cart forward, pulled his back and pushed it into a display of croissants. “You’re welcome.” He said smugly. “Now will you please leave me alone?”

You blinked at the gaping empty space where your cart used to be and then looked up at him. To absolute hell with proving the guys wrong.

“Hey! I got the coffee grounds, did you grab the-”

“Screw you!” You screamed, reaching in his basket and grabbing the first thing that you laid your hand on and throwing it as far as you could. 

“What the hell!?”

Peter swooped in after you had already thrown a second thing out of the stranger’s cart and started pulling you away from the scene.

“You need to learn a thing or two about respect, little girl!” The guy was yelling after you, red in the face, stupid phone still in his stupid hand and the other in a fist on his hip. 

“Fuck off!” You screamed back, swiping a bag of cotton candy from an end stand, ready to chuck it at that man.

“Hey, hey,” Peter smacked a bag of cotton candy from your hand and continued lugging you away. “take a breath, take a breath. Let me handle this-”

“What’s going on here?” Naturally, the security guard stepped in at the perfect time. You looked like the crazy one, but in fact, it was the douchey middle aged man that started it and you were more than happy to explain that to security.

.

"Can I have a retake?” 

So you had to get your pictures taken by security. You single-handedly landed yourself and Peter on this ridiculous list of people that couldn’t return to the store without adult supervision which was absolutely ridiculous. Even more ridiculous, the man told you that you couldn’t retake your picture.

“Fine.” You didn’t plan on coming back to this hot mess of a store anyways. 

Starting the car, you were more than happy to be in the safety of your vehicle, but you remembered that the two of you came out for a reason... and you left without a single one of those reasons. 

You ended up driving to another store that was just up the street and got back to the tower about an hour and a half after you left it.

“Where’d you go for the snacks, Australia?” 

You rolled your eyes at Sam’s sarcastic comment and set the one bag that Peter let you carry down on the table. While Peter set the rest down, you walked passed Tony (whose smile was far too big for your liking) and sat down on the couch. 

“How’d it go?” he asked.

Peter lied like a rug. “Good. We got a bargain on the coffee grounds, two for-”

“I got us banned from the store unless we have adult supervision.” You were dejected. This never would’ve happened had you just let that man be stupid by himself. 

Bucky hit pause on the game and looked over at you like he was beyond ready to scold you. “You what?” 

“Ten.” Peter finished like he hadn’t even stopped. “There was a coupon that we actually found on the floor, luckily it wasn’t expired-”

“Kid, will you be quiet!?” Bucky’s mean mug could scare almost anybody into silence. You watched your boyfriend shrink into himself before your brother turned back to you. “This explanation better be good.”