#the only real socialization i've had is stressful

[bitbybitwrites]

So yeah that oh so fun "glitch" with Meta

Yeah, so yesterday I had vented about this oh so fun fact :

After being alerted by a friend to check FB/ IG to see if you were following Trump, Melania and Vance, I was surprised to find they were there.

And sure enough on FB there at the top of my "Following" page - there they were. Did I follow them previously. No. So I deleted them.

Checked IG and the only one of the three I appeared to be following (again without choosing to do so) was Vance. So I deleted him.

That was 1/21/25.

This morning (1/22/25), checked on IG and Vance popped up again AND I found out I was now following Tump and his wife ( which I hadn't done before).

So I deleted all three on IG ( Vance for the 2nd time, the other two for the 1st time) and blocked them all (and Vance had like 3 seperate accounts that looked official I blocked the other two I wasn't made to follow just in case)

Checked FB and I wasn't made to follow the trio again - thankfully, but blocked them all as well just to be safe.

Is it going to happen to everybody - who knows . . is it only going to happen to US users - who knows.

I do know I did follow President Biden, VP Harris and Dr. Jill Biden previously on FB. Their accounts are now marked as "archived". And I'm still following those archived accounts. So it wasn't like a let's change the name of the old account or anything so the followers remain the same. So Meta just decided hey, lets all just automatically take all their followers, create a new account for the new president and cronies and make em follow them too!

Whether its a "glitch" or it was deliberate - I don't care - it's still annoying as hell. I'm hoping the blocks will keep them out of my hair for now - though I am curious because I've heard people having to repeatedly deleted them from followers. I wonder what is the highest amount of times a person has had to do it so far?

Social Media is supposed to be a curated thing. I see what I want to see and I don't want any of their bullshit on my feeds.

Its all crazy I'm already seeing that creators on TikTok ( those who have gone back) are having videos removed because of "questionable" content . . . so the censorship begins over there . . .

I've had friends already pull out of Twitter, FB and IG because of this whole mess (plus the whole stupid idea of Zuck's to stop fact checking) . . most are migrating to Bluesky . . . I'm not sure where else folks might be going to but let me know!

I know this place isn't perfect, but hopefully it'll be ok for a time . . . because I'll certainly need a place to get away from the stress of the real world by enjoying weird wild fandom shit with you people.

It's gonna be a LONG 4 years - but we'll get through it together, folks!

[hugyourdogs]

old acquaintance asking to play video game =w=

desperately needed respite in my fragile psyche holy shit

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such

[equalperson]

I fucking hate being traumatized because why am I bawling the hardest I've bawled in god-knows-how-long because someone I didn't even like that much berated Me. gasping wailing trembling and snotting over this for several minutes.

[elijasz]

Anyway, if you're wondering why I'm not posting any art: I am literally struggling to survive. This is the most stressful time I've ever had in my life and I have worked several jobs while managing a household and caring for a family member before. This might truly break me and I am NOT easy to break.

I barely sleep, I have no time for physical exercise, I have more to do than I can possibly ever check off my to-do-list and adding to that, people are being truely awful and testing my patience, which is literally running so thin you can see through it like it is a window you just cleaned.

I'm having heart issues and permanent headaches, that's how bad it is. I slept a total of 1 hour this night. I'm permanently nauseated. Oh and to top all that off I'm poor and my only weather-appropriate pair of shoes has been falling apart for about 3 months now and I still haven't been able to buy a new pair.

[chemicalarospec]

The funniest thing I wholeheartedly believe is that I have a neurodivergency not catergorizable or diagnosable as any currently recognized disorder. (disorder emphaized because heavily impairing functioning is generally a requirement of the clinical definition and a condition of diagnosis, and although i'm vexed i still Get By Just Fine)

because like yes those probably exist; there's no way psychiatry is in its final form now and there are definitely levels of neuro-difference that don't qualify as disorders, but like. that's so random and it's kinda pretentious to make such a bold claim about yourself. like oh u wanna be special, huh? 🙄 just be AuDHD like everyone else (<- joking)

[vanessagillings]

I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

[astonmartinii]

kiss it better | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x first responder!reader when oscar crashes into the barrier at monza, he thinks he sees his guardian angel, in reality he's just got a concussion and that's a first responder, but it's the thought that counts.

f1

liked by arthurleclerc, liamlawson and 1,206,700 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

f1: woah. huge shunt for oscar piastri in turn three. the australian was pulled out of the car by first responders and is getting treatment. red flag for now.

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user1: omg like my breath was completely gone, i hope oscar is okay

user2: holy shit that's the worst crash i've ever seen i'm so glad they aren't replaying it

user3: i tuned in late and i knew as soon as they didn't replay it it had to be bad

user4: thank the lord for the first responders, they were so fast i hope oscar is good

user5: i'm gonna need netflix to take the backseat on this one i can't take the dramatic editing this is already stressful enough

user6: the grosjean crash was bad enough, i can't deal with it with oscar

user7: are there any updates yet?

user8: not yet.

user9: i'm sat in the grandstand right where this was and it was literally so scary, the first responders literally had to jump on the car

user10: so so lucky that they were stationed so close to where he crashed

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,309,761 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: first of all i'd like to thank everyone for their support and well wishes, i really appreciate it. it's actually thanks to y/n and the rest of the first responders that i'm back on my feet as fast as i am. big thank you to y/n for sacrificing her ability to shower comfortably to help me out of the car and avoid the flames, i am eternally grateful and mama piastri would like you over for dinner to thank you.

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user9: i'm so so happy he's okay, that crash was so scary

landonorris: glad to hear you're okay mate !

oscarpiastri: you can't get rid of me that easily norris

landonorris: woah, no joking about dying when you've only been discharged for 24 hours

oscarpiastri: sorry, skipped over that one in my contract

danielricciardo: make sure you always read that mclaren contract carefully

user11: thank you y/n for your service

user12: for real she put her leg on the line for oscar she needs a raise

yourusername: it was my pleasure to do my job and help you out oscar. and i'll always take up an offer for a mum's dinner

oscarpiastri: she'll be very happy to hear that

yourusername: text me the details and i'll be there

user13: it's so crazy to me how f1 drivers just get up and walk out of crashes like that

user14: no for real how is the medic more injured than him 😭

logansargent: you are so lucky there were no cameras when you were on painkillers cause you were talking some shit

oscarpiastri: please don't remind me

logansargent: just because there weren't cameras in the room doesn't mean i didn't record you, i look forward to my birthday present this year

oscarpiastri: you wouldn't

logansargent: you wanna bet?

user15: so like how bad do we think what oscar said was?

user16: and how much do we need to pay logan to release it?

mclaren

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 609,778 others

tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri & yourusername

mclaren: after her heroics in the first half of the season, y/n finally took oscar up and is a guest of mclaren this weekend. as a medic, y/n is one of the most important aspects of a race weekend, and it's an honour to host her!

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user17: did oscar write this caption? that man was BLUSHING in the fan questions video

user18: awwww mama piastri is also there this weekend and in a load of the pictures in the paddock they stuck together

oscarpiastri: so happy to see you again y/n !!

yourusername: my pleasure, oscar. racing is a lot more fun from the garage

oscarpiastri: i'll try my best not to crash this time, i know my favourite medic isn't on duty

yourusername: oh wow what a title, i'll wear it with pride

user19: they're such dorks i love them so much

landonorris: can someone get me some popcorn, i'm enjoying watching oscar squirm and blush all weekend

oscarpiastri: i am NOT !!

landonorris: don't worry i'm sure y/n finds it cute

oscarpiastri: can you please STOP !!

yourusername: not to prove lando right but it is very cute

user20: lando is taking his big brother role a bit too far

alexalbon: you were right @logansargent this is fun to watch

logansargent: oh just you wait until you find out the stuff he was saying in hospital

oscarpiastri: please stop telling people

alexalbon: from what i heard she was right there @yourusername what did he say logan is being a good friend (for now)

yourusername: considering i literally fried my leg getting him out i don't remember most of that day

alexalbon: UGH you people are no help

yourusername: ???

oscarpiastri: ???

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 2,560 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: no pulling this one out of a burning wreck this weekend 👍

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user21: omg oscar's smile ??? i am faint

landonorris: do i mean nothing to you?

yourusername: i am literally oscar's guest let me rep him in peace

landonorris: booooooo if you're going to wear his number might as well ask him out while you're at it

yourusername: mind your business, i know what i'm doing

user22: Y/N?????????

oscarpiastri: i see you know my angles already, can you come every weekend?

yourusername: i'd love to but i have a lil thing called a job :(

oscarpiastri: boring, can't you be my full time personal photographer?

landonorris: and his girlfriend?

oscarpiastri: do you mind?

landonorris: what? i'm just trying to help

oscarpiastri: you are MEDDLING

yourusername: you guys done?

oscarpiastri: yes

landonorris: NO

user23: lando is a no 1 y/n x oscar shipper he's so real

user24: y/n is so much stronger than me i'd hand in my notice right this second

yourusername: believe me i would if i could

landonorris: to both options?

oscarpiastri: LANDO STOP

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, oscarpiastri and 19,056 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: happy to be your guardian angel baby x

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user29: new f1 parents just entered the chat

landonorris: i'm taking responsibility for this happening, you’re welcome

yourusername: stop right there buddy, this was all ME

oscarpiastri: nuh uh it was ME

yourusername: i asked YOU out?

oscarpiastri: technically yes, but i asked you to dinner first

yourusername: actually, if i remember correctly that was your mum

oscarpiastri: FINE you asked me out and i'm very glad you did and you ARE my guardian angel and you ARE way out of my league

landonorris: you said it i didn't

oscarpiastri: LANDO LET ME FLIRT IN PEACE YOU NUISANCE

landonorris: woah, you've changed bro

yourusername: are we finished boys?

landonorris: yes, and for real i am very happy for you guys

user30: lando saying he made this happen is the most lando thing ever

logansargent: can you tell him to stop ignoring me now?

yourusername: soz under strict rules not to fraternize with a traitor

logansargent: I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T HANDLE SPICE

user31: at least logan is self-aware

oscarpiastri

liked by aussiegrit, yourusername and 702,443 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: sometimes all you need to do is flip an f1 car into a barrier and burst into flames to meet the love of your life (and give her third degree burns)

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user32: OSCAR WITH A BACKWARDS CAP TEACHING HER TENNIS SOMEONE CALL 911 I AM NOT OKAY

landonorris: okay we get it now you guys are cute

yourusername: for someone who was 'the reason we got together' you've changed your tune

landonorris: yes i am glad you have each other but that doesn't change the fact that i am LONELY and don't need to see gross couple stuff

oscarpiastri: you poor baby

landonorris: NO SYMPATHY?

oscarpiastri: i'm gonna cite all of your tomfoolery in the other comment sections

landonorris: okay fair

user33: okay but can we promise to never have a crash like that again?

yourusername: agreed

aussiegrit: happy for you kid

oscarpiastri: thank you mark :)

yourusername: so this is mark... hi?

aussiegrit: don't worry i've heard nothing but wonderful things about you, i look forward to meeting you at the next race

user34: y/n already has all of the approval oh wow

yourusername: i love you dummy (never do that again or i'll never talk to you again)

oscarpiastri: you got it, wins only from now on 🫡

yourusername: ur the champion in my heart

oscarpiastri: 🧡 🧡 🧡

logansargaent

liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 304,788 others

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri

logansargeant: public shaming is good sometimes. though now i third wheel with only a fish by my side

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user35: i am SCREAMING

yourusername: oh florida boy, your time will come (don't put that fish pic on your tinder, i know you want to)

logansargeant: girls love fish?

yourusername: trust me they don't

logansargeant: is this just because oscar is bad at fishing?

yourusername: DELETE IT FROM YOUR TINDER PROFILE NOW OR THIRD WHEEL FOREVER

user36: what is going on here?

alexalbon: god logan this is tragic, how did you expose him and end up with a fish as your date

logansargeant: but is the size of the fish not impressive?

alexalbon: no, take y/n's advice

oscarpiastri: fine, you're forgiven. only because y/n found it cute, if she found it weird it would be you found at the bottom of a lake

logansargeant: ???????????? there was a chilli oscar

oscarpiastri: stop hiding behind your american passport, i'd eat that chilli for you

logansargeant: but it all worked out?

oscarpiastri: thankfully for you

yourusername: is it bad that this is kinda sexy?

logansargeant: he threatened to murder me?

yourusername: he's so protective 🫶

oscarpiastri: hehehehe thanks babe x

logansargeant: i give up.

note: WOAH two in one night? i am on a roll. anyhow, do enjoy, i love oscar so much so glad he extended !! xx

[annabelle--cane]

i wasn’t here when tma reached the height of its popularity (i only joined last year) so could you describe the Vibes (how bad the drama was, did it feel like there were too many people, etc.)

only if you want to :]

I've said this before, so this may be a familiar spiel to longer term followers, but 2020 tma fandom was honestly not the worst fandom I've ever been in, it was just by far the biggest thing I have ever been actively into at peak popularity and so the 1% of insane people that are found in every fan space were 1% of a much bigger total population. most people were fine and chill, but there were a vocal minority who Weren't.

major ingredients in the discourse pot:

from my observations, tma had a small but devoted listener base for its first few years, then it got a little bump in mid 2018, then a considerable bump in late 2019, then hit proper virality in early 2020, so there were a lot of people with hipster complexes about being Real Fans who were there first and weren't just part of the masses.

at this point I'm not even sure if this part was true, but the above was compounded by the perception that the earlier og listener base were mostly adults and the new wave of fans were mostly tweens and teens. whether the different waves actually fell along those age lines or not, a lot of people felt like the fandom was split into 80% Cringe Zoomers Who Are Here For Ships And Memes and 20% Millennials and Gen X'ers With Media Literacy Who Are Here For Horror. nice dichotomy, idiot, now what lies outside it, etc and such and such. our blessed fandom etiquette vs their barbarous dni lists.

which isn't to say that suddenly having a huge number of people, including young people, become interested in a single piece of media at a time of global stress where everyone had to be much more online and the content of the media itself was at its darkest and most socially relevant had no downsides. oh no. Oh No.

"my headcanon is not only objectively the best headcanon but it actually invalidates all of yours and if you hc something different then it's an act of bigotry against my Correct Headcanon." / "I have drawn up a list of Good Characters you have to like and aren't allowed to criticize and a list of Bad Characters you have to hate and can't acknowledge exist unless it's to make fun of and completely condemn them." / "I saw her username in the kudos of a jonelias fic" "girl what were YOU doing in the kudos of a jonelias fic" / "this latest episode handled a social issue unforgivably badly, I haven't experienced it myself but the vibes were off, everyone demand accountability and boycott the rest of the show" "hey that one was actually based on jonny's personal experiences" "ah fuck not again. well boys let's remember this for next time. this latest epis--"

honestly most of the discourse was down to like two or three friend groups. there was one group of people who you will probably remember if you were there at the time whom I have sometimes seen referred to as the Clown Gang. Clown Gang were ground zero for a good 90% of fan discourse ("hcing melanie as ace is ableist and lesbophobic" "fan content that focuses on jon's asexuality is biphobic. what's pansexuality I've never heard of it." "desolation tim aus are inherently ableist and racist"), but eventually they had a big falling out with Clown Prime and things calmed down. to be very clear I hold no ill will towards any of these people for four year old bad takes, hence why I'm not using any names, but god was it a time.

and this is only about the tumblr side of things. I was barely active of twitter so idk what it was like there but I was on tiktok for about a year during that time and the vibes were wildly different. iirc people there were less confrontational and there wasn't really a callout culture like on tumblr, but the extremes of the takes were FAR worse.

[weaselle]

i have a dog client (just one, starting a new business is hard) and she's a two-ish year old husky who was rescued only a couple months ago. I've been working with her for a couple weeks now and she just decided she could trust me yesterday. And i think the reasons why are interesting

So huskies can be sort of aloof, it's easy for a husky to decide they don't really care about you unless you are doing the exact thing that holds their attention. But it was more than that with this dog (she's named after a cheese, let's call her Gouda because she's [mario voice] a good-a dog) I think her experience in life thus far has been a bit traumatic

(this doesn't mean she was beaten or anything, everyone always jumps to that conclusion, but dogs are sensitive social creatures, and just being an orphan in a system that controls you so completely and never knowing who you can form a close bond with could be real trauma... i was given up at a young age by my own parents and it fucked me up pretty good even though i was adopted by my aunt, so i can only imagine what it might be like for a dog to be passed around for two years)

Anyway, she is very withdrawn (tho loving with her new family) and also tends to raise hackles and stiffen up when meeting dogs. For this reason i've been walking and running her alone because i walk some other dogs (not clients, it's part of my customer acquisition technique to be seen out with a pack of dogs) and a couple of those dogs are ... also not the friendliest. So i wanted to set her up for success by giving her time to get comfortable around me and the new activity before i introduced a possible stressful situation of other (grumpy) dogs.

At the meeting there was a growling and snapping situation and I had to use my Big Dog voice (just a big deep "hey" with my full diaphragm) and get between them and shut it down. Then they settled and we went on the walk, during which time there was an additional teeth and snarl moment from the other grumpy dog that i shut down immediately. The rest of the walk they were fine - during the second half i transitioned away from walking between the two, and ended with them walking next to each other close enough to bump and they did great.

Anyway, when i went to drop off Gouda at home, for the first time she really responded to my goodbye, licking my face and nuzzling my ear and bumping her head into my chest, whereas before she wouldn't even walk back over to me for goodbye petting once she was home.

I'm pretty sure it was the interactions with the other dog that did it. Specifically three things

A: for the first time she saw me defend her against another dog, so she knew she could count on me to back her up so she could relax

B: she saw that i was maintaining order and discipline and wouldn't allow dogs to be in altercations so she could relax

C: this is the more nebulous one but one i think is the most interesting: I believe the situation with the other dogs helped her to see me at a high level of disapproval, yet remain within behavior parameters that allow her to feel safe. In other words, she saw me in a situation where dogs were breaking the rules in a pretty big way - a semi fight situation where theoretically i would be at my most threatening or angry - and my response was not scary, i didn't get physical or punish or hold a grudge etc.

I think that last one really cemented it for her, because now Gouda knows if she gets something wrong and makes me "angry" it's going to be okay. So she can relax.

Taken all together, her experience yesterday was that i will defend her against other dogs, i can and will maintain order in the pack, and, importantly, even if she gets something really wrong or i'm in an "angry" situation, i'm safe to be around.

and now we're good friends.

[restlesspazzi04]

Love Island: A Pazzi Fic

Part 1: Day 3

Genre: I've somehow managed to think up a forbidden love/enemies to lovers/reformed player/slow burn love island fic all together so imma pat myself on the back bc ive been getting so many asks for all five

A/N:

This is just the introduction chapter to a series that will be very loosely updated as it's more of a fun project i'm working on but hope you guys enjoy because this is just me riding off the love island hyperfixation im in lol

Extra Note: this is will be on tumblr only mainly bc this series will be trash and purely for my self entertainment so idc as much. slow falling will remain on ao3 only :)

ik some people have difficulty reading on tumblr tho so if i get enough asks i will put this on ao3 if its easier

word count: 3.2k (this will fluctuate depending on my mood)

Format Clarification:

When the contestant name is in front of the text, that means it's a cutaway and not actually said in the villa!

anything in italics is to be read in Iain Stirling voice please i love him

-

Day 3:

It's day 3 and it's heating up in the villa! Will the current couples pass the test of temptation as two new bombshells enter for the ultimate challenge? Find out here on Love Island USA: WLW Sports Edition! 

When Paige first got the call that she was nominated for Love Island, she knew who put her name in the sea of women’s athletes picked for the show. With her social media agents wanting to get the “player” allegations away from her image to make herself more marketable, she was a shoo-in for the show. 

Paige was confident in her coupling. Ellie, the Olympic swimmer from Australia, was up her ally of girls: hot, brunette, and gay. They had been going strong for the first three days in the villa, with Ellie picking Paige on Day 1 coupling. In the mess of drama the other couples were whirlwind into, they had remained together as a voice of reason. 

“I’m just not really feeling her I don’t know,” Kate groans, slapping the ping pong ball back to Paige. 

“Bro it’s been three days and you’re already tired of your match? Couldn’t be me.” Paige responds, returning the ball. 

Kate and Paige being the only WNBA athletes in the villa naturally stuck together as close friends, being each other's confidants on Love Island. They had the common ground of basketball solidifying their sisterhood and frequently took each other's advice.

“It’s not that. I just feel like there’s no spark. Sarah is great and all, but I can’t imagine spending the rest of my villa time with her.”

“Why don’t you explore your options tonight if we recouple? That’ll start some crazy drama.” Paige laughs mischievously, wiggling her eyebrows at an unamused Kate Martin. 

“All the other couples are pretty locked in and I don’t wanna be a homewrecker… plus they’re probably bringing in new bombshells today if I got the formula right. Hopefully, they’re my type because I don’t think it’s working out for me and Sarah. ” 

“New bombshells? I mean none of them better be basketball players. That’s Ellie’s type to a T. It was hard enough fighting against you.” Paige jokes, slightly concerned at the idea of new people. It wasn’t like she and Ellie were completely locked in, but Paige knew she’d be at risk of getting kicked off the show if any of the new bombshells coupled up with Ellie.

“Ellie is not my type. She’s too nice. I need some passion in my girl." 

“I like nice. She’s sweet and brings me orange juice in the morning.” Paige says, dropping her paddle when Kate sends the ball flying past her head, "Drama stresses me out. That's why Ellie is perfect for me."

“Nah, I like a little fight. It’s hot when a girl is mad at you… you should know better than me ‘Miss Star Point Guard on the Golden State Valkyries’. Aren’t women always fighting over you?” 

“I already told you I’m not a player in the real world or the villa. Why does no one on the island believe me?” Paige exclaims, plopping down on the way-to-colorful couch in the Villa playroom. 

“I don’t know… maybe you’re insane eye contact with everyone you meet?” Kate says sarcastically, taking her seat next to Paige. 

“Blame my parents! They’re the ones who told me that eye contact is respectful." Paige argues before adding, "I can’t help I got beautiful eyes.” 

“Shut u-"

Kate is effectively cut off when KK Harvey starts screaming "I GOT A TEXT" throughout the entire villa, everyone making their way to the poolside where she was sitting.

"Islanders please gather at the fire pit for a surprise! #WatchOutCouples #Bout to drop a bomb!" KK reads loudly, the whole villa shouting in response.

"Welp, I guess this is your moment to find a new girl." Paige sighs, making her way over to the fire pit.

"Not yours?"

"Nope, I'm pretty happy with Ellie."

"You sure about that? Not even keeping an open eye?" Kate teased, ragging on Paige's loyalty.

"I'm definitely not re-coupling with some newcomer." Paige asserts firmly. 

"If you say so." 

-

As the Islanders all flock to the firepit, taking their seats next to their partners, they await for further instruction. 

“I GOT A TEXT!” Kate hoots out as the other islanders get excited, “It says ‘Get ready as your two new bombshells join you guys in the villa! #AreYouReady?’”

Paige looks over at Ellie, who’s already gripping tighter on Paige’s arm at the news of Bombshells. 

“I hope they’re not your type,” Ellie whispers shyly into Paige’s ear. It was a cute gesture, one that should’ve made Paige blush. Paige just gives her a reassuring squeeze on the arm, leaning in to whisper back. 

“I already got a beautiful girl, don’t worr-”

Paige is interrupted as shouting rings through the villa as two new girls make their way into the villa. 

“Bro, can you see her?” Kate says, pulling Paige up immediately as two figures appear in the distance. 

“Not with you jumping on my shoulders.” Paige retorts back, leaning up to get a better look, “They’re tall.”  

“Wait, I think I recognize one of them,” Kate says with her eyes squinted

Kate: You guys are ruthless in bringing my exact type. Fuck, I want to stay loyal to Sarah but I do still want to keep my options open, you know?

Paige has to brace herself for this entrance. She recognized the two bombshells immediately as they got closer. The WNBA world was small and both of these contestants were prominent figures in the league. Azzi Fudd and Nika Muhl, the star guards for the LA Sparks would be joining the girls on the island. 

“No way they brought in more girls from the league!” Kate whispers into Paige’s ear. 

“Did they run out of gays for other sports? Or is the league just super gay?” Paige responds in a nervous whisper. Ellie had literally told Paige on the first day that her type was basketball girls and it was one of the main reasons why Ellie had picked her. It was not to Paige’s advantage to have multiple girls chasing after her girl. 

“Wait, I know both of them. We worked out together at Kelsey Plum’s dawg class for a few days. She’s super hot not gonna lie.” Kate whispered lowly so Sarah wouldn’t hear. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve met them a few times. Did you know that they both were gonna come to UCONN but chose UCLA last minute?” Paige droned on, her eyes oddly trained on Azzi as they finally reached the fire pit. It suddenly dawned on Paige that she had never seen the younger girl in a bikini and it set an uncomfortable fire ablaze in her stomach. 

Azzi: Hi, my name is Azzi Fudd and I’m a 5’ 11” shooting guard for the Sparks. I wanted to come to Love Island to find my future wife and make a strong connection with someone. I have been in a lot of relationships and they don’t seem to go well for me, so I hope I find my match here!

Nika: I’m Nika Muhl and I’m a 6’ foo-

Azzi: 5’ 10” don’t lie Nika

Nika: Don’t cut me off! Anyway, I’m a point guard for the LA Sparks and I wanted to come to Love Island to finally find my love match and establish a strong connection. I’m super excited to meet the Islanders. 

Another text sound rings through the air, coming from Azzi’s hand. 

“Bombshell’s Azzi and Nika, Pick two people to go on dates with tomorrow before bed tonight. Have fun getting to know everyone tonight in the villa! #newcomers #shootyourshot!” Azzi read out, inciting excitement through the villa again. 

“Hey you’re Azzi and Nika, right? Guard’s on the Sparks?” Coco asks, making room for them around the fire pit to welcome them. 

“Yeah, we’re shocked they picked us to go together since we knew each other. You’re Coco Gauff. I’m a big fan.” Azzi gushes, hugging Coco. 

“Hey Kate,” Nika says, acknowledging the blonde in the crowd as she scans around, “How’s the island?” 

“Good. Surprised to see you guys here but I’m hyped. We need more basketball representation in here.” Kate jokes. 

“We get enough ‘basketball is the best sport’ debating from these two. Now we got more.” KK Harvey jokes, motioning to the two basketball blondes in the pit. 

“Basketball is amazing though, you gotta admit.” Azzi plays along, earning a few lighthearted groans from the rest of the villa. 

“Just promise you shut up Paige before she goes on a whole rant. Kate just eggs on that little pest.” Coco groans. 

“I’m never wrong Coco, don’t play with me. Tennis is fun but basketball is art.” Paige says, earning more groans from the group. “Do you guys know who you wanna pull for chats?” Ellie asks the two bombshells, jutting into the conversation. 

“Um, I have my eyes on a few people but I’m gonna see for the next few hours as I get to know more people on the island,” Nika responds. 

“We know you guys are in couples right now, but we just wanted to wait until we got to know more people’s vibes,” Azzi adds, looking around all the girls in the pit. A few couples had already gone off to different parts of the villa, but she was getting a good look at everyone left. There were a few people on her radar and a few people who weren’t. 

Azzi: Kate was making some pretty clear eye contact with me, but she’s on my “pulling for chats” roster.

The group spends the next few minutes getting to know each other and filling in the two on the island news. Paige tried to focus on Ellie squeezing her arm, but she was distracted by things she couldn’t comprehend. 

Things such as Azzi Fudd making flashing bouts of eye contact with her to no end. Paige was not one to falter at strong eye contact, but she couldn’t help but grow slightly nervous under the shooting guard's gaze. It wasn’t rare for Paige to catch the eye of someone. New people entering the villa the past few days had flocked to her, but she rejected them to no avail to remain loyal to Ellie. It was still fun flirting and making stable eye contact was one of her specialties. But Azzi Fudd seemed to be looking at her with a specific glint that Paige couldn’t pinpoint. 

Paige: Did you guys see the way she was looking at me? I can’t tell if she wants me in her bed or wants me dead.  

Annoyance? Lust? Hatred? C’mon Paige tell us what you see!

“So you guys want a little villa tour?” Kate asks suddenly while stepping slightly closer to Azzi, “It’s super nice.” 

The group makes their way around the villa, showing the two new islanders all the spots. Ellie and Paige stayed hand-in-hand as they walked, Ellie refusing to let go. Even when Paige got closer to Azzi coincidentally, the shooting guard would make it a point to take two steps away and it didn’t help that Ellie was pulling her in the other direction. They end up at the rooms as they finish off the night, the girls entering their assigned makeup rooms to get ready for bed. Azzi is put into Paige, Kate, Coco, and KK’s room, getting spilt up from Nika. 

“So Azzi, what do you think of the villa?” Coco asks while wiping her makeup off. 

“It’s nice, bigger than I expected. Soul ties are a lot more secretive than I thought.” Azzi answers, unpacking her bags. 

“Yeah, a lot of shit goes down there. If you go to soul ties at night we know you’re fucking or something.” KK laughs. 

“Do you know who you’re picking for your dates tomorrow? You get two right?” Paige asks, speaking up for the first time. 

“Yeah, two. I’m not sure who I’m picking yet. I think they’re asking me to pick in an hour so I have time to think in the shower.” 

“What’s your type?” Kate asks Azzi boldly, getting an approval look from Paige. 

“Uhh, I tend to focus a lot on personality. Just someone who can match my competitiveness and my energy. But if we’re talking looks, I tend to go for tall blondes.” Azzi says casually, immediately getting Kate to snap her eyes to Paige. 

Paige: Is Azzi flirting with me or Kate? If it’s me, I’m in trouble. Ellie is not going to be happy if I go on a date tomorrow. 

“Is there a separate shower room? I need to unpack my bottles.” Azzi says while standing up.

“Yeah, it’s down the hall to the left. That’s where our group showers.” Coco instructs, getting a nod of thank you before Azzi leaves. 

“Hold up, was she talking about me?” Kate polls the group the second Azzi safely leaves the room, “Or was she walking about the other two blondies?” 

“I think she was just stating her type buddy.” KK Harvey jokes, “Plus, she’s totally talking about me. She’s been giving me the eyes.”  

“Really?” Paige chimes in curiously, “Like slightly angry but confusingly hot?” 

“No, like she wanna look into my soul…What type of looks is she giving you?” KK questions. 

“Nothing… she wasn’t really looking at me, just wondering,” Paige adds quickly. She was probably just overthinking due to the reveal of her type. 

“Back off KK, you’re happy with Kylie. Sarah and I have been distant for days.” Kate playfully challenges. 

“Kylie’s great, but Azzi and Nika are hot, not going to lie. I kinda hope I get to go on the date with them. Don’t tell Kylie though, she might kill me.” 

“As long as you don’t tell Sarah. I wanna test my connection with the bombshells but I don’t want to blindside Sarah.” 

“You guys are acting like Azzi and Nika want you guys. She could be talking about girls in the other room.” Coco jokes, butting into the heated debate.

“Please, Coco. We get it. You and Paige are in happy little couples and don’t need to worry about recoupling. I would say Kylie would leave me the second another hockey girl comes in here.” KK says sarcastically before adding, “I’ve never gone for a basketball girl before.” 

“I have. And I know them better than you loser. Azzi said tall, that means basketball. She was clearly talking about me.” Kate argues back. 

“I’ll be right back,” Paige says suddenly, jumping from her makeup chair. 

“Where are you going?” Kate asks as Paige starts exiting the room. 

“Just going to chat with Azzi for a bit. Nothing serious. I’ll be back in 30 seconds.” Paige says quickly, ignoring any questioning she got from the group. 

Paige makes her way down the hall, knocking twice on the shower room door before it slowly squeaks open.

“It’s unlocked,” Azzi says simply, her composure even. 

“Oh. Some people are uncomfortable with people coming in during showers so I always knock. Wasn’t sure if you were showering.” 

“Nope, just unpacking,” Azzi says shortly, confusing Paige again, “Do you need to shower? I can leave.” 

“Oh, no. I actually wanted to talk to you real quick before you pick your dates for tomorrow.” Paige starts. 

“Sure, what did you want to talk about?” Azzi asks cautiously, continuing to organize her skincare on her shelf. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m in a pretty solid connection with Ellie and I don’t want you to waste your date on me because I’m mostly taken. You can still pick me, but I just want to be transparent from the beginning before we get to know each other.” Paige says while sitting up on the sink.

Azzi stood up from her packing, giving Paige a focused look of mild confusion. 

“What makes you think I’m picking you?” Azzi asks with an even tone, eyes unwavering from Paige’s. 

“Well, you said tall blondes are your type and that’s only me and Kate. So I assumed you’d use your two picks on us.” Paige says, slightly less confident.

Azzi steps closer to Paige, closing the gap between them. 

“Is it true that if you take off your top they can’t air it because it’s nudity?” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear, pulling the blonde in. 

“Uh, yeah? They can’t air it. But they get kinda annoyed when we do it and talk about villa stuff.” Paige whispers shakily into Azzi’s ear. 

“Turn your head,” Azzi says as she takes two steps back, swiftly taking off her bikini top.

Paige had never swiveled so hard, almost falling off the sink counter. Paige turned her head halfway before she realized she could see Azzi in the mirror reflection, leading her to close her eyes as fast as possible.

“I know your reputation in the league, but I’m not trying to air out your business on TV, so I’m going to speak like this,” Azzi yells out before turning around, “You can turn around now, it’s just my back.” 

Paige opens her eyes to see Azzi’s long braids flowing down her bare back, the only article of clothing being her bottom bikini. Azzi turned her head to speak. 

“How are you going to judge me on my so-called reputation?” Paige questioned back, getting offended at the “Player” accusations she hated. 

“You ghosted one of my friends, so don’t act surprised I’m cautious of you. I came to the Villa to find love and take home the win.” 

“So did I. You haven’t seen me with Ellie. I have a lot of layers, you’d be surprised.” Paige says with a smirk, her voice growing bolder. 

“Layers? Yeah, ten layers of player. I know what you did to Alyssa.” 

“Alyssa? Who’s that?” Paige asks, racking her brain for possible Alyssa’s in her past.

“Jesus, you don’t even remember her. That’s crazy.” Azzi scoffs accusatorily, “Anyway, don’t worry. I won’t pick you for the date, I’m not going to intrude on you and Ellie. Seems like you guys are happy.” 

Paige watches as Azzi slips her bikini back on. Watching the muscles on her back contract as she pulls her top over her head. Her bare skin was addicting to look 

So addicting, Paige was caught red-handed admiring her as Azzi turned back around. 

“You sure you're happy with Ellie?” Azzi jokes dryly. 

“Very. She’s a great girl. Exactly my type.” Paige challenges back, leaning her body toward Azzi. 

“What is your type, Paige?” 

“Hot, Brunette, Pretty Eyes,” Paige says a little quieter as Azzi steps a little too close for comfort. 

“I see,” Azzi answers, nodding her head. 

“Don’t think I’m calling you my type. You just happen to fit it.” Paige adds weakly. 

“You saying I got pretty eyes? I know I'm the other two.” Azzi asks playfully, opening the door to the shower room. 

“Maybe. Let me look into them longer and I’ll decide.” Paige chirps back, a surge of confidence coursing through her. 

“In your dreams, Bueckers.” Azzi sings out with a laugh as she takes her exit, leaving a mildly dazed Paige on the sink. 

This was certainly going to be an interesting summer in the Villa for Paige. 

-

A/N: I apologize if this is shit, this is just funny for me.

[static-electric-dreams]

I did decide to post the original art of these guys in the end; these are all from 2022, so definitely a little old. I have posted these to my Artfight account in case anyone is particularly interested in them!

Their extensive lore below (tw for discussion of mental health issues, abuse, trauma, drugs/alcohol, and self harm)

Button Bunny, Poppy Puppy, and Dreamy Deer are escaped lab experiments made from giving plushies real meat and blood inside. After enduring countless painful experiments, Button and his fellow test subjects killed all of the scientists and escaped into the real world, where they're free to do as they please.

Each of the plushies embodies a different "coping" style or set of trauma responses; this isn't supposed to be extremely deep or anything, just an idea, but to explain each one a bit further:

Button represents the "fight" response to danger, as well as cutting, self harm, and vengeful or violent thoughts/actions against one's abuser. He's fixated on blood and gore, both as a means of expressing his internal pain, and as a means of inflicting it on those who hurt him and his friends. He has the biggest thirst for blood and revenge out of the three, and is the most likely to pick a fight with a stranger. He carries a box cutter full of fresh, sharp razor blades right over his heart, signifying damage both taken and dealt. As a result, Button is "angrier" than the other two, but also more protective.

Poppy represents the "fawn" response to danger, as well as self-medication through drugs, alcohol, sex, and food. Poppy never denies herself the finer pleasures and in fact indulges in them more when she's upset. She's always likely to try to win someone over or "people please" her way out of situations and can become very upset if she genuinely thinks someone is mad at her. She smokes weed out of a heart-shaped bong, calls everyone "bestie," and sobs her eyes out into a bottle of cotton candy vodka if anything goes wrong. While she is the most outwardly emotional, she's also emotionally intelligent and glues the group together with her sharp eye for social cues.

Dreamy represents the "freeze" and "flight" responses to danger, as well as dissociation, nightmares, and severe phobias. While Button and Poppy may go on the offensive with someone they deem "bad," Dreamy will always behave passively and will never stir conflict if they can help it. Indeed, Dreamy will freeze like a deer in headlights if they're put in a stressful enough situation, and if they manage to unfreeze themselves, will run away from it as quickly as possible. Because of their fearful nature, Dreamy can only protect themselves through their experimental psychic ability to transfer their own nightmares to another person, which isn't even fully voluntary for them. Most of the time, Dreamy will defer to one of the others in a pinch.

All three of them have had their eyes swapped with one another, symbolizing the unity of the three very different trauma responses under the same trauma.

There are also two more Cursed Plushies, two wolves (one black and one white) named Yin and Yang, created by the sole surviving scientist to track down and kill Button, Poppy, and Dreamy, but I've yet to draw them even once, so they're much less fleshed out and generally less symbolic than the other three. I'll return to them someday, though.

Thanks for reading all that!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Timeline: Bullying Allegations, Rumors, Investigations, and Leaks

Unless cited, all links from the Daily Mail. Apologies, but all links are "active" webpages. There's just too many. I specifically chose the DM because they always TL;DR their articles, which I'm including here so y'all don't have to go click these links.

This is going to be a little bit of a differently-formatted timeline.

These items in bold red are critical rota stories that sort of blew things open, if you will. These ones will have excerpts.

These items in bold purple are Tumblr gossip.

Let's jump in! One quick disclaimer first: This isn't an exhaustive list. this is only what I've been able to dig up today.

10/28/2018: The real Charles revealed: William’s wild mood swings, Harry’s pre-wedding meltdown and how the Prince of Wales finally earned his boys’ respect, as revealed by his biographer ROBERT JOBSON

The weeks leading up to the wedding had been far more tense for both Harry and Meghan than most people realised. In fact, they’d both felt so stressed that they’d booked a series of appointments with Ross Barr, known as ‘the acupuncturist to the stars’. Whether these treatments had much impact on Harry is debatable. In the build-up to the wedding, says an inside source, he was ‘petulant and short-tempered’ with members of staff. Raising his voice on occasion, Harry would insist: ‘What Meghan wants, she gets.’

11/8/2018: ‘Meghan cannot have whatever she wants’: The Queen ‘had words’ with Harry over his ‘difficult’ bride-to-be’s choice of wedding tiara, royal insider claims

Meghan Markle reportedly wanted a tiara with emeralds for her wedding day 

But stones may have been Russian so she had to choose another, it was claimed

Prince Harry allegedly 'hit the roof' when told the headpiece was off-limits

Queen 'had words' with Prince Harry about Meghan, a royal insider claims

Source said Her Majesty said: 'She gets what tiara she's given by me' 

11/9/2018: MAJ RAPPED MEG The Queen warned Prince Harry over Meghan Markle’s ‘difficult’ behavior after row over bride’s tiara for royal wedding by Dan Wootton of The Sun

11/10/2018: CDAN Blind. This came out a couple of weeks after tumblr (the old TCD blog) got a massive dose of Aussie tea. Scroll down to August 2019 for those stories.

Apparently the diva behavior on a recent trip was nothing compared to the verbally abusive thrashing the employee took on that trip when things were not perfect. The employee threatened to sue because of how bad the abuse was which would have become public. The employee instead was given a check and an apology by the in-laws of the former actress turned abuser.

11/15/2018: Duke and Duchess of Cambridge join youngsters on The One Show sofa to speak about new anti-bullying app (with Kate in another recycled dress by Emilia Wickstead). This event was the day after Charles’s 70th birthday bash at BP, to which Meghan wore the blood earrings again and the gossip leaked that the Sussexes left early.

11/15/2018: Prince William accuses Facebook of putting ‘profits before values’ as he slams social media giants for being ‘on the back foot’ in fight against fake news, privacy and cyber bullying

11/17/2018: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle change plans to move into Kensington Palace apartment as resident Royal ‘doesn’t want to leave’ by The Sun. This was the first time that rumors of a rift between the Cambridges and the Sussexes over behavior/attitude were published by the printed press.

Kensington Palace isn’t short of luxury accommodation, with Prince William and Kate Middleton living in a lavish 20-room apartment in the grounds. And it is also the residence of The Duke and Duchess of Gloucester, The Duke and Duchess of Kent and Prince and Princess Michael of Kent. The Queen’s cousin, The Duke of Gloucester, 74, and his wife Birgitte, 72, live next door to The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in their grand 21-room apartment. Prince Harry is said to have been eyeing up the property as the perfect place to raise a family. But a source claims Danish-born Brigitte is refusing to move. The Mail quoted a friend of Duchess of Gloucester saying: “Birgitte doesn’t want to leave. “And why should she? She and her husband are still full-time working members of The Firm and they were given their apartment by Her Majesty.”

Many blogs read the bolded section above as Harry and Meghan were pushing the Gloucesters hard to move out of KP #1. Not necessarily bullying them, but...not being nice about it either.

11/25/2018: MEGGING A MOVE Prince Harry told staff ‘What Meghan wants, Meghan gets’ as it’s claimed couple are moving away from Wills and Kate to flee ‘goldfish bowl’ Royal life by The Sun

11/26/2018: Is Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton’s rift causing tension between Harry and William and behind Windsor move?

11/28/2018: Meghan Markle ‘left Kate Middleton in tears’ over her strict demands for Princess Charlotte’s bridesmaid’s dress by Jack Royston, The Sun.

This is one of the earliest "admissions" that Meghan sends the staff emails out of business hours.

Rumours of a rift between the duchesses swirled after royal sources revealed emotional Kate, 36, ended up weeping. An insider claimed the incident followed a “stressful” dress fitting — just weeks before Meghan, 37, married Prince Harry. Royal aides did not deny the incident had taken place, amid claims that the duchesses are “very ­different people”. Princess Charlotte, three, had been trying on her outfit just weeks before Meghan’s wedding to Prince Harry. Meghan, 37, is understood to have insisted on “the very best” for her big day — but the fitting did not go according to her demands. Royal sources said the pressure of the “stressful” fitting became too much for her now sister-in-law, and that Duchess of Cambridge Kate was left shaken and in tears. An insider told the Daily Telegraph: “Kate had only just given birth to her third child, Prince Louis, and was feeling quite ­emotional.” The reported incident sparked rumours of a rift between Kate and the Duchess of Sussex. The duchesses are understood to have put the incident behind them.

and

Concerns have surfaced that American actress Meghan has at times struggled to fit into royal circles. Sources claimed she regularly “bombarded” staff with early morning calls and emails.

12/11/2018: How royal staff are calling Meghan Duchess Difficult as 2nd aide exits by The Daily Express. This is the first recording of "Duchess Difficult" in the printed press and the first hints that Harry may have confronted William about Meghan's red carpet welcome into the BRF.

The Duchess let slip recently that she's not sleeping well and has resorted to 4.30am yoga sessions to help her relax. However, her early starts, also said to involve firing off emails, aren't to everyone's taste and Meghan will soon have to find an aide more in tune with her lifestyle.

and

Kate was reported to have become upset by the manner in which Meghan speaks to staff and although this has been denied by Kensington Palace it has not stopped the chatter that all is not harmonious.

and

According to one insider, Harry, who is notoriously protective when it comes to his new wife and is desperate for her to enjoy her official duties, is said to be unimpressed with the welcome William has given Meghan. He feels his older brother could have done more, including ensuring that Kate took the American under her wing. Harry, 34, is said to be mindful of how isolated and miserable his mother, Diana, became. In a TV appearance in February, involving the so-called Fab Four of William, Harry, Kate and Meghan, there was an awkward moment when the group was asked about whether they had disagreements. “Oh yes," said William, while Harry tried to make light of the issue by joking that they came "thick and fast". But the insider says: "Harry won't take any criticism of Meghan and he is so sensitive that he often sees criticism or negativity when there isn't any."

12/18/2018: Meghan’s supposedly banned Harry from a traditional shoot, staff are leaving, and it’s claimed courtiers were aghast when this starry picture was (briefly) online. Now, RICHARD KAY asks…Duchess Difficult - or just defiantly different?

Meghan's appearances seem more flashy than other members of Royal Family 

Two days after Fashion Awards show, Duchess of Cornwall posed with donkey

Photo from night was posted on Fashion Council's Instagram but quickly deleted

The Queen is said to be determined to 'not allow Meghan to feel unwelcome' 

2/6/2019: Meghan Markle’s Best Friends Break Their Silence: ‘We Want to Speak the Truth’ (People 5 Friends article)

2/6/2019: ‘Please stop victimizing me, Dad’: Meghan sent her estranged father a letter after her wedding begging him to stop attacking her in the media - and he responded by asking for a photo shoot

Meghan wrote the letter to her dad, Thomas Markle, shortly after her wedding to Prince Harry 

'I have one father. Please stop victimizing me through the media,' she wrote

Friends say Thomas Markle responded by asking Meghan for a photo shoot

'I think she'll always feel genuinely devastated by what he has done,' friends said

Those friends who spoke out said they are concerned about how the 'emotional trauma' of dealing with her father might be affecting Meghan's unborn baby

The five anonymous friends  also rejected rumors she was feuding with her sister-in-law Kate Middleton

'There is nothing behind the feud with Kate,' they said. 'It's completely untrue'

2/6/2019: Samantha Markle calls out sister Meghan for ‘bulsshit’ story in which ‘imaginary’ pals praised the pregnant princess saying she is nothing but a ‘wealthy narcissist’ with ‘lie-abetes’

2/7/2019: ‘Harry will be the BEST dad!’ Meghan praises her husband - amid claims she is suffering ‘emotional trauma’ over feud with her own father - as royal couple dazzle at the Endeavour Fund Awards in London. (This is Meghan's cater waiter outfit.)

4/12/2019: The Meghan Markle ‘Duchess Difficult’ Rumors Just Won’t Stop - and This One is Bizarre by Glamour Magazine. I'm including this one because it cites a few Sun articles that are no longer accessible.

According to The Sun, staff members at Frogmore Cottage, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's new home, have been "banned" from using the parking lot closest to the residence and instead must use the one a mile away. The sources who spoke to The Sun seem to confirm a change in parking permits is happening, but here's the kicker: It was reportedly the superintendent of the castle's decision, not Markle's. And yet all the tabloids reporting this story are making it seem as though Markle woke up and randomly decreed, "You know what would be fun? Forcing all the staff members to walk a mile to work each day." The headline in one article starts with "Not in Meg Back Yard," which is apparently the acronym insiders are using to describe this change. That makes it sound like Markle is the one behind the choice.

8/18/2019: Massive Aussie tea and bullying/rude behavior compilation thread posted on Tumblr by The Charlatan Duchess. Original Aussie tea was first published in October 2018 but I can’t find any of the original posts to verify a specific date - all those blogs seem to have been deactivated. Includes gossip/tea about:

Admiralty House/Australia tour

Rumors from Toronto days

Behavior towards customer service staff/industry

“Use and abuse” treatment of entertainment industry staffers

Morocco tour

Birmingham UK visit

Cliveden House/Royal Wedding Eve

Wimbledon 2019 clearout

Vogue and Met Gala

Michelle Obama’s book-reading

South Africa

Attitude towards nannies

10/2/2019: Instagram will roll out its anti-bullying ‘Restrict’ tool to all users so they can avoid nasty commenters without being caught reporting or blocking people

10/28/2019: Author Matt Haig whose poem Meghan Markle included in her Vogue issue defends Duchess against ‘bullies’ - saying ‘you can be famous and struggle’

6/14/2020: Meghan Markle’s painful dilemma: They’re as close as sisters but will she now ditch her best friend Jessica Mulroney after ‘racist bully shame’?

3/2/2021: Royal aides reveal bullying claim before Meghan’s Oprah interview by Valentine Low for The Times - Archived link

(go ahead and give the whole thing a read)

3/2/2021: Buckingham Palace insists it DIDN’T smear Meghan after she accused aides of a ‘calculated campaign’ against her - after ex-staff claim she ‘bullied two PAs’ and ‘drove them out’ of Kensington Palace, four days before explosive Oprah interview will be aired

The Times reported a spokesman for the Sussexes vehemently denying the claims, saying they were 'the victims of a calculated smear campaign based on misleading and harmful misinformation'

A bullying complaint was lodged against the Duchess of Sussex by a senior member of Kensington Palace staff before she and Prince Harry quit as working royals

The Times reported it was made in October 2018 by Jason Knauf, who worked as communications secretary to Harry and Meghan

He is said to have claimed the duchess 'drove two personal assistants out of the household and was undermining the confidence of a third staff member' 

Sensationally, the couple's lawyers told the newspaper it was 'being used by Buckingham Palace to peddle a wholly false narrative' before this weekend's interview with Oprah Winfrey 

3/2/2021: Meghan Markle ‘Saddened’ by ‘Attack on Her Character’ amid Bullying Allegations from Palace Staffers by People Magazine

"The Duchess is saddened by this latest attack on her character, particularly as someone who has been the target of bullying herself and is deeply committed to supporting those who have experienced pain and trauma," a spokesperson for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex said in a statement obtained by PEOPLE. "She is determined to continue her work building compassion around the world and will keep striving to set an example for doing what is right and doing what is good."

3/3/2021: Buckingham Palaces releases a statement concerning the bullying allegations reported by The Times

3/3/2021: Royals’ Meghan ‘bully’ crisis: As Buckingham Palace launches an unprecedented investigation into sensational bullying claims against Meghan, make no mistake this is a crisis that echoes the Abdication, writes Richard Kay

Meghan Markle is the subject of bullying complaints from her former royal aides in a leaked email 

Jason Knauf alleged she forced two assistants out of the household amid claims of 'emotional cruelty' 

Buckingham Palace is launching an unprecedented investigation into the allegations, deepening the crisis

3/3/2021: Meghan makes jaw-dropping claim the Royal Family has ‘perpetuated falsehoods’ about her and Harry in Oprah interview teaser released just hours after Palace launched sensational probe into allegations she bullied staff

CBS has released a second clip previewing Sunday night's Oprah Winfrey interview with Meghan and Harry

In the clip, the Duchess of Sussex is seen sitting alone talking to the talk show host

She is asked by Winfrey whether she had worried about the consequences of speaking out

Markle replies that she felt she had no choice, because the Royal Family were 'perpetuating falsehoods'

She said that, despite the risk of 'losing things', she felt that 'there is a lot that has been lost already'

The clip, recorded several weeks ago, aired on the day Buckingham Palace announced a bullying inquiry

The inquiry was launched after The Times on Tuesday reported allegations of bullying by the duchess's staff 

3/3/2021: ‘I can’t ever see those two back on the balcony’: Palace launches probe into Meghan bullying claims - leaving past and present Royal staff ‘shaken’ by ‘unhappy memories’ being brought up about a particularly ‘toxic period.’

Meghan allegedly inflicted 'emotional cruelty' on aides and 'drove them out' 

Harry and his wife were both also labelled 'outrageous bullies' in allegations 

'Broken' aides told of feeling humiliated, 'sick', 'terrified', left 'shaking' with fear 

Buckingham Palace announced a formal probe into the allegations in statement 

3/3/2021: Revenge of the Sussex survivors’ club: The extraordinary inside story of how a fairytale turned into a nightmare of ‘traumatised’ staff - by Royal Editor REBECCA ENGLISH, who saw so much of it herself

Members of 'Sussex Survivors' Club' worked for couple and lived to tell the tale 

Include US spin doctor Jason Knauf & Aussie private secretary Samantha Cohen

Some even believe they may have form of post-traumatic stress from experience 

But I have personally witnessed more than one member of staff driven to tears by the treatment they were subjected to by the duke and duchess before the couple acrimoniously quit as working royals. One person sobbed down the phone to me after a particularly harrowing day. They clearly felt emotionally broken and could no longer cope with the pressure they were being subjected to. Others have indicated to me they were being asked to behave in a manner they did not feel professionally comfortable with, particularly in their dealings with the media. Several aides have also told me that Meghan in particular was very good at 'drawing' staff into her confidence, flattering them as if they were the only person in the world she could trust and asking them to help her with various duties.

and

Toxic, hostile, distrustful, poisonous: all words I have heard regularly used over the past few years to describe people's experiences working in the Sussexes' household.

and

But I have since been told that this popular aide was deeply unhappy about her experience working for the duchess and had been 'desperate' to get out as long as she could professionally put a brave face on it. Likewise a third member of staff. Mr Knauf makes clear in his email, as reported by The Times, that he was also concerned about the couple's hugely experienced deputy private secretary, Samantha Cohen. She had worked for the Queen for more than 20 years and was personally persuaded by the monarch to stay on and help the couple navigate their first few years of royal life. He indicated that she was experiencing extreme stress and said: 'I questioned if the Household policy on bullying and harassment applies to principals [the term used to refer to a member of the royal family].' One source tells me wryly, with an eye to Meghan's much-hyped championing of female empowerment: 'Note that everyone concerned was a woman.' Another adds: 'Sam always made clear that it was like working for a couple of teenagers. They were impossible and pushed her to the limit. She was miserable.'

and

The Times also makes reference to an incident during the couple's tour to Australia, New Zealand, Fiji and Tonga in 2018, which was a particularly difficult one for all concerned, Meghan included. She was, of course, pregnant at the time. The newspaper reports how Meghan cut short a visit to a market in Fiji because she was concerned about the presence of a UN organisation promoting women, with which she had worked before and made clear she no longer wished to have anything to do with. At the time officials had suggested that it was because it was humid and the crowd was oppressive in the market. I was there at the time and witnessed Meghan turn and 'hiss' at a member of her entourage, clearly incandescent with rage about something, and demand to leave. I later saw that same – female – highly distressed member of staff sitting in an official car, with tears running down her face. Our eyes met and she lowered hers, humiliation etched on her features. At the time I was unable to document anything as I couldn't conclusively link the two incidents together, despite my suspicions. I have subsequently found out from other sources that my instincts were right.

3/4/2021: Duchesses at war: Meghan ‘blamed Kate and Camilla for leaking stories about her’, claims aide amid raging royal war - as at least TEN palace staff say they will cooperate with ‘bullying’ probe

Meghan and Harry felt stories were briefed by Kate, Camilla or Charles' households, the Palace insider said

Claimed couple 'assumed men in grey suits were obsessed with destroying them' during in Kensington Palace

Revelations came after Meghan was accused of 'driving out' two PAs and shattering the confidence of another

One former aide branded�� Prince Harry and his wife 'outrageous bullies' in The Times earlier this week

Meghan said newspaper was 'being used by Buckingham Palace to peddle a wholly false narrative' about her

Comes ahead of Meghan and Harry's bombshell tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey to be aired in the UK

3/4/2021: Meghan Markle’s ‘furious rows’ with aides over designer freebies: Staff warned Duchess it breached royal protocol to keep free clothes at time of bullying allegations, sources claim

Meghan Markle, 39, clashed with royal aides over freebie designer clothes 

Sources revealed designer outfits were sent to Kensington Palace for Duchess 

Insider said she 'had to be told it was not the done thing when you are a royal'  

Duchess has been accused of 'driving out' two PAs and acting like 'a bully'

Said to shatter confidence of another member of Kensington Palace staff 

Lawyers for the Sussexes have vehemently denied they have bullied or mistreated staff 

3/4/2021: ‘We can FINALLY tell the truth’: Former Royal aide who claims she was ‘bullied by Meghan Markle’ welcomes Palace probe and hopes it will put pressure on her and Harry to provide evidence

Meghan allegedly inflicted 'emotional cruelty' on aides and 'drove them out' 

Harry and his wife were both also labelled 'outrageous bullies' in allegations 

'Broken' aides told of feeling humiliated, 'sick', 'terrified', left 'shaking' with fear 

Buckingham Palace announced a formal probe into the allegations in statement

One alleged victim: 'We'll finally be able to tell the truth. It's not going to be easy' 

3/5/2021: EXCLUSIVE: ‘What’s done is done!’ Friends of Meghan say she would never postpone tell-all Oprah interview and clam palace is using Prince Philip’s health as an ‘excuse to keep her muzzled’

Mounting pressure has been put on Meghan and Harry to push back the much-anticipated interview special out of respect for Prince Philip's health 

'Even if Meghan had the choice to postpone the Oprah special she said she wouldn't,' a friend of the Sussexes tells DailyMail.com

The Duke of Edinburgh, 99, underwent heart surgery this week 

According to the well-placed  source,  the interview 'has absolutely nothing to do with Prince Philip and that this is just an excuse by the palace to keep her muzzled'

'Meghan said now the whole world can see what she had to endure for months on end,' they added

On Wednesday Buckingham Palace announced an inquiry into Meghan's behavior after The Times reported allegations of bullying by the duchess's staff 

'[Meghan] said these outrageous allegations confirm why she and Harry had to part ways and make it their mission to be a voice for the underdog,' they said 

3/5/2021: CBS releases new clip from bombshell interview: Meghan claims she was stopped by Palace aides from talking to Oprah ‘personally’ when host tried to set up interview with her before her wedding and says that she’s now ‘ready to talk’

Fourth clip from Oprah interview airs on CBS This Morning ahead of premiere on US network on Sunday night

Duchess of Sussex claims royal aides blocked her from having a personal conversation with Oprah Winfrey

Meghan says she remembers chat with Oprah 'very well' and there had to be other people in the same room

She adds that it's 'really liberating to be able to have the right and the privilege' to say 'Yes, I'm ready to talk'

Two-hour interview which also features Prince Harry will have its UK premiere on ITV next Monday at 9pm 

3/5/2021: Meghan Markle’s make-up artist BFF Daniel Martin shares a defiant poem claiming ‘the world cannot overcome her’ as he speaks out amid bombshell claims she bullied staff at Kensington Palace

Daniel, from New York, joined army of Meghan's pals who leapt to her defence

This week allegations were made that the Duchess of Sussex bullied former aides, 'driving out' two PAs and shattering confidence of another staff member 

Daniel shared a poem by Lao Tzu, a 4th century Taoist author and thinker

He accompanied candid snap of him applying blusher to the Duchess's cheeks

3/5/2021: Meghan’s best friend from college Lindsay Roth defends her from bombshell claims she bullied staff and claims that ‘goodwill runs in her bones’

Lindsay Jill Roth, Meghan Markle's best friend from college, rushed to her defense on Thursday amid bullying claims

The producer said in an Instagram post that 'goodwill runs in her bones'

She also branded the Duchess an 'altruistic, magnanimous friend'

The pair met while they were at Northwestern University 17 years ago 

Roth shared pictures from their graduation and her wedding day

Her comments came amid allegations Meghan bullied former aides, 'driving out' two PAs and shattering the confidence of another staff member

And ahead of Meghan and Harry's tell-all Oprah interview to be aired Sunday

3/11/2021: ‘Perhaps they can finally set the record state about me’: Meghan Markle’s biographer Omid Scobie quotes email he claims she sent to Kensington Palace over flower girl row with Kate - so who showed him the message?

Author of Finding Freedom claims Meghan emailed royal aide over the claims 

She allegedly asked if Kensington Palace could 'finally set the record straight' 

Meghan claimed this week it was Kate who made her cry in reported dress feud 

3/17/2021: Givenchy Anon

Meghan made Kate cry.

Bullied Charlotte, mocked and made fun of her voice

Screamed at the staff

Slapped one of the staff who was fitting her

Meghan encouraged Ivy to pick on Charlotte, to the point where Charlotte was pulled out of the fittings and her dress was made based on Florence van Cutsem’s measurements

Flower crowns for bridesmaids was given at the last minute

9/25/2021: The Meghan Paradox: Royal author ANDREW MORTON explores how she preaches compassion, yet cast her own father into outer darkness and claims she’s the victim of uncaring Royals, yet in truth was welcomed with open arms

11/29/2021: Meghan’s lawyer denies the Duchess of Sussex ever bullied staff in bombshell BBC documentary - saying she didn’t ‘repeatedly and deliberately hurt someone’ but adds she ‘wouldn’t want to negate anyone’s personal experiences’

Meghan allegedly inflicted 'emotional cruelty' on aides and 'drove them out'

Harry and his wife were both also labelled 'outrageous bullies' in allegations 

'Broken' aides told of feeling humiliated, 'sick', 'terrified', left 'shaking' with fear

Tonight her lawyer told BBC programme she did not carry out any bullying

But she added:  'She wouldn’t want to negate anyone’s personal experiences’

12/3/2021: Duchess of Cambridge was left in tears after confronting Meghan Markle over ‘bullying of Palace staff’ just days before the royal wedding, Camilla pal Kirstie Allsopp claims

Duchess of Cambridge was reportedly left in tears after row with Meghan Markle

The infamous argument came days before Meghan and Harry's wedding in 2018

Kirstie Allsopp has claimed the row was about claims Meghan had bullied staff

It has previously been claimed that the argument was over flower girl dresses

In her Oprah interview, Meghan had claimed that she was the one who had cried 

12/10/2021: Is Meghan ‘bullying’ probe being kicked into long grass? Buckingham Palace inquiry into allegations the Duchess of Sussex bullied staff only interviews ‘a tiny handful’ of people who worked for her

Revelation prompted fears the investigation is being 'kicked into the long grass'

Palace aides announced in March that they were launching an internal inquiry 

Staff were said to have been left in tears and feeling 'traumatised' 

1/6/2022: Damaging bullying claims are used ‘very casually’ over allegations Meghan Markle mistreated palace staff, duchess’s lawyer tells BBC’s Amol Rajan

Meghan Markle's lawyer Jenny Afia of Schillings claims allegations of bullying are used 'very casually'  

Miss Afia tells BBC that the word 'bullying' is a 'very, very damaging term... particularly for career women'

She spoke to Amol Rajan in podcast based on controversial royal documentary which aired last November

1/22/2022: Prince Andrew should be subject of bullying probe over ‘12 complaints’ made by Palace staff over ‘overbearing and verbally abusive’ behavior, according to a formal royal protection officer

Paul Page worked in the Royal Protection Command from 1998 until 2004

He has claimed he personally made three separate complaints to the Palace

Speaking to The Sunday Mirror, he said he is aware of 'at least a dozen' others

He alleged his complaints during his time working for the Palace were ignored 

Mr Page has now called on the palace to launch an investigation into Andrew

6/29/2022: Meghan ‘bullying’ inquiry buried: Findings of Palace probe into claims duchess drove out two ‘traumatised’ assistants will NEVER be made public…and even those who took part ‘haven’t been told the outcome’

Meghan is alleged to have ‘belittled’ two female assistants out of Royal service

Royal aides admitted for the first time that findings will never be made public  

Those who took part in the inquiry are said to not be told what the outcome is

Palace confirms that it's concluded and ‘recommendations' will be taken forward

6/30/2022: Palace aides’ refusal to publish findings of Meghan ‘bullying’ probe is an ‘olive branch’ to the Sussexes as royals face the prospect of release of Prince Harry’s memoir, say experts

Meghan is alleged to have ‘belittled’ two female assistants out of Royal service in claims that emerged in 2021

Royal aides who gave evidence have admitted for the first time that findings will never be made public 

Palace confirms that it's concluded and ‘recommendations' will be taken forward but will not publish report

6/30/2022: Buckingham Palace faces questions over Meghan ‘bullying’ probe as it ‘revises’ its HR policies in wake of inquiry but keeps its findings a SECRET…with even those who took part ‘not aware of the outcome’

Meghan is alleged to have ‘belittled’ two female assistants out of Royal service in claims that emerged in 2021

Royal aides who gave evidence have admitted for the first time that findings will never be made public 

Palace confirms that it's concluded and ‘recommendations' will be taken forward but will not publish report

6/30/2022: What do the Palace fear revealing about ‘Duchess Difficult’? Staff say they were ‘traumatised’ by Meghan’s behavior. But her defenders say she just had high standards. As a report into the episode is buried, RICHARD KAY examines the history of the saga.

9/21/2022: Ben Goldsmith claims Meghan Markle is disliked in Britain NOT because of racism but ‘because she is a manipulative bully who got found out’

Ben is a non-executive board member for the Department of Environment, Food, and Rural Affairs; brother to government minister Zac Goldsmith

9/24/2022: Palace aides take revenge on the ‘Difficult Duchess’: Insiders claim Meghan ‘moaned she wasn’t getting PAID for royal tours, agreed to Oprah interview SIX months before Megxit and reduced staff to tears with bullying and tantrums’ - in bombshell new book

Explosive extracts of Courtiers: The Hidden Power Behind the Crown by Valentine Low were published today   

Meghan did not understand why she had to shake people's hands during a tour of Australia, they revealed 

Sources claim Meghan bullied her staff who were 'terrified', 'broken' and 'destroyed' by her treatment of them

The book details a meeting where Meghan allegedly criticised a young female member in front of colleagues

9/24/2022: Meghan’s aides branded her a ‘narcissistic sociopath’ over her demanding behavior - and gave themselves the name ‘Sussex Survivors Club’, new book claims

New book claims that Meghan Markle's aides, the 'Sussex Survivors' Club', called her a 'narcissistic sociopath'

Courtiers: The Hidden Power Behind The Crown describes Sussexes' deteriorating relationship with staff

Book also claims that staff became convinced the Duchess wanted to show how the institution failed her

Some of Ms Markle's staff suspected that she left her Royal duties behind because she wanted to make money

10/25/2022: Meghan says ‘Duchess Difficult’ label was racist, connects it to the ‘Angry Black Woman’ archetype during a very special episode of her podcast

1/8/2023: Harry and Meghan’s 25-page rebuttal of bullying claims: Prince rails against royal staff ‘lies’ about his wife in book - and reveals couple filed hefty report ‘full of evidence’ to challenge claims

In his book Prince Harry says claims his wife Meghan Markle bullied staff are a lie

The Duke says he and Meghan produced a 25-page report to clear her name

She was accused of screaming and reducing royal household staff to tears

4/15/2024: Royal aide Samantha ‘the Panther’ Cohen confirms she was one of 10 courtiers interviewed over claims Meghan Markle ‘bullied’ Palace staff - as she reveals the late Queen ‘loved it’ when things went wrong

4/16/2024: Ex-Harry and Meghan aide Samantha ‘the Panther’ Cohen says palace staff struggled to find her successor as private secretary - and would-be replacement quit while ‘being shown the ropes’ on tour to Africa

4/24/2024: Buckingham Palace must release ruling over Meghan Markle staff bullying allegations, royal expert tells latest episode of YouTube talk show The Reaction

8/15/2024: RICHARD EDEN: The real reason Harry and Meghan have just lost their 18th staff member…according to my source

My first inkling that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex may have trouble holding onto staff came back in 2018 when I received a tip that Meghan’s personal assistant, Melissa Toubati, had quit suddenly, just six months after the American actress had married into the Royal Family. ‘It’s a real shock,’ a source told me at the time. ‘Why would she want to leave such a prestigious job so soon?’ Officials usually decline to discuss staffing matters, so it took me aback when a senior Palace source chose to pay tribute to her publicly. ‘Melissa is a hugely talented person,’ the source said. ‘She played a pivotal role in the success of the royal wedding and will be missed by everyone in the Royal Household.’ For someone to go out of their way to pay such fulsome tribute suggested Melissa’s colleagues were not happy with her departure. The fact she left so soon raised questions over the reasons for her exit. 

8/26/2024 - Kensington Palace insider brutal first reaction to Meghan Markle amid bullying claims, by The Mirror.

Allegations of bullying were behind Prince William's decision to split his household from Prince Harry's in 2019, according to a royal expert. William was made aware of claims that Meghan Markle had 'bullied' palace members of staff, which both the Duchess of Sussex and her husband Prince Harry have always denied. After an unsuccessful phone call to discuss matters with his brother, William decided to 'throw Harry out', Robert Lacey revealed in his book, Battle of the Brothers. Lacey further quotes a Kensington Palace courtier as saying: "Meghan portrayed herself as the victim, but she was the bully. People felt run over by her. They thought she was a complete narcissist and sociopath — basically unhinged."

[microknifeyuri]

i'm genuinely just saying that the ii fandom should try to not put their ships on basic dynamics because when you watch the media itself you realize that they're wayyyy more complex than that, and that the content that gets made off it feels one dimensional and like people don't really get why their dynamic/friendship works at all, or simplify their attributes completely disregarding the other relationships the characters in said ship have.

nickloon works because of suitcase mattering so much to both of them. now this is something that most of the fandom doesn't get because they don't get nickel's character at all and often portray him as an gay asshole, but i've made a lot of analysis on his behaviour, so you can check my posts on him if you're interesed to learn why suitcase is so important to him too. however they're so much more than just "a weird gay thing", they're an story of growth and realizing that you were wrong, how much love they have and how you can learn and change for the better, as someone who went through that same thing and now i have a best friend thanks to that, seeing how people only put them on one dynamic disregarding completely the reason as to WHY they're like that is pretty boring. they work because had so many issues at hand and needed communication in order to work through it. their care towards one person (suitcase) is what made them be so angry at eachother and what ultimately made them become friends as well, but the way they genuinely ended up wanting to be friends and caring so deeply for eachother is what speaks the most. sure, nickel cared about baseball and all, but balloon was ultimately the reason as to why he lets go of the rough attitude, and decides that he does want to fix what he has done, that he wants to become a better person and friend.

lightbrush works as an POST canon ship, not as one that happens on s2, nor should people ignore the fact that paintbrush was often angered/stressed by lightbulb's behaviour for most of the show. it works because ultimately they're both struggling to come to terms with themselves, and lightbulb gets to finally understand why she was messing up so much and genuinely showed care for paintbrush, who was ultimately struggling with themselves, you know, coming out and all that. what people don't get by making their relationship just an "silly random fella x hot headed person" is that they're both so much more than that. lightbulb has depression and her terrible copying mechanisms are what made her suck so much as a team captain, and paintbrush wanted stability and for someone to actually listen to them for once. lightbulb gets to learn that life is much more complicated and that she has to be there for people if she wants genuine connections with others, and she helped paintbrush on such a complicated moment, showing that they can work on an actual friendship post show, and that they do care about eachotther after all.

fantube is so much more complicated and emotional from what the fandom usually portrays. downgrading them to just an "girlboss x malewife" feels like they're not getting their characters at all and also like it's missing the point of their arcs being entwined by still making them act like their s2 pre-ep 14 selfs. both fan and test tube had severe issues with social interaction and grasping on what's real and what not, emotional communication often being their biggest struggle, and constantly got on arguments with others thanks to the fact that they couldn't "fit in". test tube shows to generally struggle understanding people and their feelings, meanwhile fan is more so aware of those, he still struggles with understanding that the game is very real and that he can't keep running away from the fact that change IS very real. they both made eachother grow because fan made test tube aware of feelings, and test tube made fan aware of growing and learning. they're both pretty equal on their own terms and they had bad copying mechanisms through s2 as a whole, except for their elimination of course, where they make amends and start over. they trust eachother and are pretty much partners, whether romantic or not, they are a team. a duo. they're just trying their best after all, and still struggle a lot with feelings at times. but that's why they work it through talking: the thing that they couldn't do at all before.

i really like/enjoy these ships on their own and i kinda hope that the fandom starts to actually get the characters and understand them properly, i would've also talked about silvercandle, but that is a whole can of worms and after iii 18, i have an overall more negative/neutral stance on the fandom perception of them.

this is just a recollection of thoughts, too.

[basimdasasonst]

snw spock rant

i've been watching strange new worlds recently, and the prevailing feeling i always leave with, no matter the episode, is that i would like it if not for spock.

don't get me wrong; i'm a tos fan to my core. star trek launched me into a love of sci-fi and space fiction and is the whole reason i'm in university studying astrophysics, why i'm writing a book using said inner astrophysics nerd, why i have any sense of purpose to me, cliche as it is to say. star trek was an integral, important part of my upbringing, and continues to be one of my main interests to this day. i love jim (and i love snw jim! especially after aos kirk (shudders)) and i love bones (i really hope he joins snw soon....leonard mccoy save us....save us leonard mccoy...) and i love scotty and i love spock. but not snw spock.

here's the thing about spock: his internal character conflicts have always had some sort of root in him being not enough/not vulcan enough/not human enough/etc. his struggles with relationships as a result – because, lets face it, both humans and vulcans are social creatures and need friends otherwise society as a whole wouldn't be a thing on either world – make up a core part of his character. in tos, his relationship struggles were nearly purely platonic, with a few offhand remarks about stray crew members having crushes on him (uhura in early first season, chapel in amok time). 

s1e4 "the naked time". spock, right before losing his figurative Marbles, sees "love mankind" written on a wall. later, he goes on to say to jim: "when i feel friendship for you, i'm ashamed." other posts have done and will do better jobs of explaining it, but in conjunction with "sinner" written on the turbolift near jim (about not being able to form lasting relationships with other crewmates because its too much of a power imbalance), the writing on the wall (literally) is that spock is inherently ashamed of his humanity. he has been raised on vulcan to be a vulcan.

his internal conflict is always about him struggling with his human side. he struggles with friendship, he struggles with his humanity, he struggles to be something that people don't immediately deem wrong. as a gay man, and certainly as a young queer child first watching tos, i felt closest to spock not just because of feeling ashamed of part of my cultural heritage, but also because of repression. spock represses these feelings of insecurity, of friendship, of the need for connection in others in a certain way, so much that it causes him pain. growing up gay, his pain was very real to me. writing on the wall. he’s silly and a cool character of course, but he resonated with me in a way that, at the time, i didn’t have anything to resonate with. 

what does this all have to do with me hating snw spock so much? i want to preface this by saying i went into snw really wanting to love it. i saw the intro and the planets and the nebulae and the black hole and the music and was like "damn, this is fucking cool." star trek, to some part of me, was also about the space exploration aspect as much as the characters. the whims of wacky crewmembers and sentient rocks. the impossibly infinite things nature can form on its own. snw looked fun. i really wanted to like it. and you know what? i almost like it.

except for spock. quite literally the only character i have any quarrels with is spock. dehydrated, glistening, oiled up spock. wtf. why is he in a relationship with t'pring? why does he (almost) cheat on her with chapel? and why chapel??????????? chapel has a one-sided (VERY CLEARLY ONE SIDED) crush on him in tos. why is it two sided now. 

what, and i can't stress this enough, the fuck? 

and don't come into my house and tell me "oh you know, it makes sense, because, because then spock gets all hard and Logical and shuts himself off and obviously the reason for that is a breakup–" No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no no no no. i don't care if it makes “sense” it feels so intrinsically wrong to his character. i’ve had much more character development from losing life-long friends than ending barely a year long relationships. spock wouldn’t immediately shut down because he kissed a girl once and then she said “acshually sowwy my work is more important” when that’s the exact sentiment he echoed to t’pring when they broke up.

more importantly, snw spock barely has friends. he calls pike a friend once or twice, but i hardly believe that they're friends. he barely interacts with la'an or erica, he has a few passing conversations with uhura in season 1 on episodes about her that don't really carry into season 2, and otherwise he's just There. he doesn't have friends in snw. the writers are prioritising him having a romantic relationship over a friendship. snw spock needs a friend way more than he needs a bone buddy. and it really rubs me the wrong way the way the relationship with chapel was portrayed to be first friendly and then romantic. i never believed for a second that he and chapel were friends – despite the screenwriters trying. every time they talked prior to s2e5 there was this odd undercurrent of sexuality that seemed to follow them. lingering looks, touching fingertips, long pauses – it was so unbelievably awkward and obvious that they were setting up a relationship between the two. i mean, for fucks sake, s1e1 uhura calls chapel "spock's girlfriend." boy did my blood boil when i figured out that was where the show was going. s1e5 was actually painful for me to get through (chapel sits down, gives spock relationship advice, giggles, smacks him upside the head, and calls him an idiot. 2017 wattpad is calling, they want their material back) and i had to take two full days to get through s2e5 because i was in anguish the whole time. it was a constant mental barrage of "spock wouldn't say that," and "spock wouldn't do that," and "this is not spock."

for the most part, i couldn't figure out why spock and chapel's relationship specifically bothered me so much. i mean i have my quarrels with la'an and jim, and i really don't give much of a care about pike and batel so why was spock and chapel grating on me so badly? was it because it was being shoved in my face? was the writing that much more atrocious than the others? was it the decimation of spock's character?

it was, i found, a product of all of those and the issue of queerness. 

look; i've survived sherlock bbc, i’ve survived the golden age of quotev fandom in 2016, i've bared witness to so much queerbaiting in my life that i don't even bother trying to hope for any sort of main character queer representation anymore. we’re going to be a footnote until someone does something about it. unfortunately, that’s not going to be me because i’m not a film director. so i look the other way and steam about it on twitter or tumblr or whatever hoping that i, like many other frustrated queer people, get noticed one day in the far future when it’s ok to have a queer romance in mainstream, it’s ok to have a queer main character, and it’s ok to let it simmer slowly and burn instead of jumping into it to say “look guys we’re woke!!!!!” (star trek literally was the pioneer for most of these things back in the day. but that’s another discussion on the heterosexualisation of progressive media that i wont get into. it just feels bitterly funny that this is happening to star trek of all things.) these days i just pretend the relationships dont exist and skip over them when they happen. i've developed a sixth sense for when weird, forced heterosexuality is about to be shoved down my oesophagus. i've just gotten used to it. 

but sphapel (or whatever it's called) burned through me. i've never felt quite this angry at an on screen relationship. and, trust me, i saw AOS. i didn't like spuhura then and i don't like it now but i wasn't angry so much as i was just tired and annoyed. but spock was – and always is to me, confused, queer 10 year old me – a queer character. his struggle with humanity, with friendship, with fitting in, with just being as a perceived "other" was what made him an interesting character to me to begin with. he was a certain outlet to vent that frustration for being "wrong" in society no matter how hard you try to conform one way or another. the knowledge that even if you are different, you still have people backing you up. his fucking friendships, guys. jim and bones. yes i know his friendship with jim is also inherently romantic dont worry im spirk #1 shipper but that’s not relevant here because, and forgive me for being pessimistic, i don’t believe for a second that these writers are going to lean into spirk anytime soon. their relationship went beyond friendship or romance or any of that stuff. coughs in the roddenberry footnote.

what i’m trying to say here, in layman’s terms, is that giving a friendless character a romantic relationship is exactly how you alienate a character. name one person you know in real life that can survive healthily with one single relation, that being their romantic partner that they have no friendly base of. you can’t. that’s a toxic relationship. that’s not romance, that’s alienation. that’s isolation. that’s loneliness. and that’s the OPPOSITE OF WHAT EXPLORING SPOCK’S HUMAN SIDE IS SUPPOSED TO DO TO HIM .

by stripping spock of his friends, and forcing his arc to be purely romantic, you have essentially stripped the character of all he is. i'd be mad if chapel was a dude, too, honestly speaking. but beyond that, corralling spock of all people into a heterosexual romantic relationship is – well. it's a choice i don't think i can ever agree with. the best way i can describe such a choice is like a dissonant chord – you can pluck the notes and they'll sound fine on their own, but when you put them together they will clash. there is nothing you can do with your fingers to play the same notes and not cause the clash. they will always clash. it is dissonance ringing through you, an inherent wrongness coupled with writing that is lazy and clearly meant for a very specific audience. snw spock is bad writing, fanservice, and extraordinarily out of character. notes i can tolerate on their own, but strung together – dissonant.

i really want to like snw. fuck, i love la'an, i love erica, i love jim (!!! thank you paul wesley for making him a nerd, and kind (glares at AOS), and generally a jim kirk that i can look at and say, "yeah, that's jim alright"), i love uhura, i love una, i love m'benga and i love pike but i hate spock. i really, truly, cannot like snw when i have to pause the show and take an irritated deep breath in every time i see chapel approach spock. it's – frustrating, and alienating, and wrong. so, so wrong. 

[existslikepristin]

Okay, so I've done a couple of rewrites now, and I don't think I'm going to ever be fully happy with this, so let's just fuckin post this bad bitch

Tags: NSFW, TheLounge, Sounds, Dreamcatcher, Itzy, Gahyeon, Yuna, first times, but let’s be real virginity is a social construct that means nothing about someone’s physical state of being, #LearnHowTheHymenWorks, cunnilingin' n' fingrin', nervousness, not even the normal kind of brattiness, Yuna’s just an insufferable idiot, no anal in this one wtf am i thinking?

Off to a Slow Start

~~~~~

Gahyeon rubbed the stress out of her eyes. Or at least she tried to. The skinny, shivering girl draped over her lap was turning out to be a pain in Gahyeon’s ass (instead of the other way around, as it should have been). 

“How about we do something else?” Gahyeon asked with a tone somewhere between hopeful and commanding.

“W-what? Why? I’m f-fine. This is s-so hot,” Yuna peeped. Sort of. It was more like she sobbed it like an emotionally damaged puppy might.

It was quite the shocking change in attitude after only two warm up spanks. Yuna’s butt wasn’t even pink.

Downstairs, when she first stomped up to Gahyeon, Yuna had been acting like she was hot shit. She put her hand on Gahyeon’s thigh, played footsie under the table, talked out of her throat like some kind of pornstar wannabe. It came as no surprise, then, when Yuna suggested that Gahyeon accompany her upstairs and "teach [her] a lesson." The part that was actually a surprise was when Gahyeon realized: when Yuna said “teach [her] a lesson,” she might have meant that very literally, because it was pretty obvious she didn’t know what she was getting herself into.

Gahyeon caught Yuna’s glistening eye in a decorative mirror on the wall and raised her hand as if to strike again. Never before had Gahyeon seen someone flinch away so hard from a simple slap on the ass, or grimace like they were expecting an executioner to flip the switch on an electric chair. She lowered her hand and very, very gently patted Yuna’s thigh. "You know what would be fun? Let's make out!”

Yuna pushed herself up on her elbows. Her bare stomach peeled away from Gahyeon’s thighs. Probably because she’d been sweating so darn much from her nerves. She gave Gahyeon a poor excuse for a defiant glare and sniffed away the lump in her throat. “Make… make out? But I’m here for… I thought you were supposed to be a good dominatrix.”

Gahyeon looked up at the dimmed light fixture and exhaled quietly. “Hey, I know you said something kind of like this earlier, but can you remind me what your safe word is, Yuna?” The question sounded a little more condescending than Gahyeon had meant it to.

“I don’t need woa-aaah!”

Crooking her elbow under Yuna’s waist, Gahyeon picked her up, suplexed her onto the bed, climbed on top of her, and got face-to-face. “First of all, ‘dominatrix’ is improper terminology for this situation. Second, if we don’t negotiate a safe word, I’m out of here.”

"Ummm. I, uh. Um."

"Tell me the first word that comes to mind."

“M-mistress?”

Gahyeon rolled her eyes. “Okay, bye.”

“Huh? Wait!”

Gahyeon was already halfway to the door by the time Yuna scrambled off the bed, but turned back to give her an uncaring glare. On her feet, Yuna was a hell of a sight. Tall, skinny, but curvaceous, like the kind of doll that would be sold to make young girls self-conscious about their bodies. Long, dark red hair and black pools for eyes, and she'd put on far more makeup than reasonable for an average coffee run. Gahyeon didn’t want to leave, but Yuna wasn’t making staying the easy decision.

"Wait for what?" Gahyeon asked.

"For… to… so you can make me…"

"I can't make you finish a sentence."

Yuna's supermodel bearing was taken down a peg by her disappointed slouch and concerned grimace. "You know what I mean… like, dominate me."

"Why?"

"Aren’t you horny?"

Gahyeon glanced at Yuna's tits. "No more than usual."

"What? But I…"

"You sure did."

"I-I was going to say—"

"I know."

"N-no you don't!"

Gahyeon groaned, "Maybe I don't care then. No big deal. Take your pick. I don’t like brats. I only tolerate them during Kinktober."

Yuna blushed and looked down, wiggling her knees in discomfort. Gahyeon wasn't going to deny that Yuna was fantastically fuckable, but she was also responsible enough to know when someone was in over their head. "Well, Yuna? What are you trying to do?"

Yuna muttered "I want to get laid" under her breath. With no other noise in the room to mask it, Gahyeon heard it, and yet a vague muttering wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"What's that? I couldn't hear you."

"I wanna get laid,” Yuna whined, fully out loud, “Okay?"

Gahyeon leaned back against the doorframe. "You a virgin?"

Yuna's blush extended down to her shoulders.

"Well that's a yes."

"B-but! I'm—No, I'm not!"

"And you would say that even if I said calling someone a virgin is just a bad social construct and that being a so-called ‘virgin’ is no better or worse than the alternative?"

"Uh…" Yuna scrunched her nose as she used all of her brain power to process the question. "Yes? Or, wait, no?"

"Nevermind.” Gahyeon waved it off. “Just tell me the truth. Have you had sex before or not? Anything with hands or mouths counts."

There was a pause while Yuna weighed her options. "No…”

Gahyeon was actually a little bit shocked. Yuna was among the hottest of idols, so even this level of awkwardness didn’t seem like it should be too much of a hindrance. Gahyeon had fucked or at least fucked around with a dozen idols with subpar social skills in the prior couple of months.

“But I've been trying!” Yuna shouted after the briefest silence, “Nobody will fuck me though! Not even men!”

“The fuck do you mean, ‘Not even men?’”

“Boys are supposed to be horny all the time. But even if I show them my pussy, they keep rejecting me.”

Gahyeon sighed, “Is that proceeding or preceding a conversation?”

“Of course I say ‘Hi.’ I try asking them if they work out too.”

“Is that it? Because idols have to work out. It’s in the job description.”

Yuna groaned and plopped onto the bed, curving her back like a clothes mannequin, apparently subconsciously. “I've tried all the stuff boys are supposed to like! I touch them, I guide their hands to my boobs, I tell them they smell sexy. All that stuff! And don't get me started on girls. I see them going around and getting laid all the time! And it's like, they'll be sluts for anybody except for me, and—”

“Let me stop you there before you make more of a fool of yourself,” Gahyeon snapped. Yuna froze. “A few things. One: We only use words like ‘slut’ in an endearing manner around here. Two: Some people might just not want to fuck you, ever. Can’t control it. And three: Are you just expecting sex from people? Like me?”

Yuna shifted uncomfortably. “No… I'm doing what I'm supposed to do first.”

“And what is that?”

“You know.” Yuna waved her hands around, pantomiming nothing in particular. “I ask politely. I let them know I'm available. I make myself up for them.”

“And…” Gahyeon mimicked Yuna’s pointless pantomimes. “They should obviously be throwing themselves at you, yet somehow nobody is approaching you?”

“I’ve been approached, I guess, but not from anyone in my league.”

“Pretty sure you’re still in the little leagues, my dude.”

Yuna whined, “Why should I be?! Every fan and their mom wants me.”

“Gross power dynamic, but okay. So I should have just known what you wanted when you walked up to me? And I should have wanted to fuck you? No conversation required?”

“Well… No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that if I do all that stuff—and more, by the way—and they're horny, why shouldn’t they want to fuck me? I'm not even demanding anything from them. I'm offering! Like, blowjobs. I'd be doing all the work!”

Gahyeon stepped away from the door frame and paced the room. “Here's the thing, Yuna. It sounds like people might be picking up on an attitude problem.”

“Attitu—but, no! I'm literally offering a good time, and usually I offer just to make them feel good! I'm not asking for anything in return! What's the big deal?”

“Nothing you've said yet strikes you as ‘bad attitude?’ Because it sounds to me like you're not affording people the courtesy of assuming they have a full breadth of human emotion and think they're good for nothing but sex.”

Yuna blinked. “I-I am, though!”

“Not, or aren't?”

“Ugh!” Yuna grabbed a handful of her hair. “No, I'm saying… You know what? Forget it! I'll just never—”

Looking her up and down for a moment (and not really listening), Gahyeon wondered if her behavior was ever anything like Yuna's. Probably not. She was practically domming her members ever since they met, and it turned sexual almost as soon as Gahyeon was old enough. Relating to Yuna was clearly out of the question.

Even so, Gahyeon felt a sympathetic pulse in her veins. Yuna's troubles, self-imposed or not and ultimately, definitely not anything close to a big deal, were still troubles to Yuna, and they were eating her up, it seemed.

Gahyeon weighed her options. Doing as Yuna demanded would enforce negative opinions. Refusing would make things more awkward for the next person Yuna tried to seduce. But Gahyeon did still like the idea of Yuna… She cracked her knuckles.

“—so I guess I'll just die alone,” Yuna continued to bitch on, “stuffing myself with bigger and bigger—”

Gahyeon cut Yuna off with a hand over her mouth. “Yuna? One word answer. Do you still want to get laid right now?”

Yuna’s eyes, glistening with tears at the edges, widened in something between fear and awe. And yet, she didn’t answer.

Half expecting her to come up with some kind of painfully awkward excuse for saying no, Gahyeon kicked things up a notch. She pulled up her shirt with one hand, catching her bra along the way, and flashed Yuna, full-boobed. She took her hand off Yuna's mouth to gesture at her bare chest, and raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Yuna said almost as if she was in a trance.

“Then turn around.”

Yuna scrambled to her feet without standing up fully, spun a hundred and eighty degrees, and fell forward, catching herself on her elbows. Her knees followed her up and with that her ass was presented.

“Good,” Gahyeon said as she took her shirt and bra off entirely, “Now what exactly would you like me to do?”

“Uuuh…”

“Finger you? Tease you?” Gahyeon dropped her pants, climbing out of them and onto the bed behind Yuna. “I can let you take charge. Maybe I shouldn't have told you to turn around?”

Yuna shook her head. “N-no, nope, it would be better with you in charge.”

“Just give me a little bit of guidance then. I could have sworn you were asking for this.”

Gahyeon slid her hands up Yuna’s back, nails first, leaving white lines that quickly faded back into the approximation of porcelain that this new canvas was made of. Over and over again, Gahyeon reminded herself that Yuna was very pretty, and tried to use that to make herself forget the annoying parts. The fact that she was still thinking about them as she gripped Yuna’s tits didn’t bode well, but many three-plus-somes with Sua and Yoohyeon taught her the virtue of perseverance through annoying sex partners. Yuna was a very pretty canvas that needed to learn some manners.

In-depth lessons would come later though, after Gahyeon showed Yuna what her reward had the potential to be. “Well?”

Yuna's breaths got heavy as Gahyeon’s hands continued to wander, shifting between teasing touches and firm pressure. “I… I, um.”

"You want this?"

Yuna shook all over. She bit her lip and nodded.

Gahyeon breathed across Yuna’s ear, sending a deep shiver down her spine. “Tell me, then.”

“I d-don’t know what to say,” Yuna whined, groping blindly behind herself for Gahyeon’s arms.

Gahyeon pressed her chest against Yuna’s back and grabbed her hands, twirling their fingers together in a cruel, teasing dance. “Tell me where you want me to touch you, for starters.”

“It’s… hard to say.” Yuna arched her back, pushing her ass into Gahyeon’s hips. Her breath spiked over and over.

Gahyeon let her arms go mostly slack. “Then guide me there.”

With no small amount of hesitation, Yuna pulled Gahyeon’s hands tighter around herself and onto her ribs, moving them in a slow, jerking way down until they were between her legs. “Here.”

“I see. So you want me to touch your pussy? Your clit?”

Yuna whined even harder. She pushed insistently on Gahyeon’s limp fingers. “Both.”

“Both? That’s not how I phrased the question. It’s your pussy.” Gahyeon pressed one finger against Yuna’s entrance, earning a gasp. “Or your clit.” She pressed Yuna’s button with another finger, which all but made Yuna double over. Only then did Gahyeon wonder if she was technically providing incorrect information by distinguishing the body parts as separate.

“Oooh my g—My clit! Touch my clit…”

In a flash, Gahyeon took her hand back, licked her middle finger, and put it back, steadily swirling around Yuna’s clitoris. Yuna had to reach back and hang on to Gahyeon’s thighs to keep herself from falling. Her twitches, jerks, and shaky breathing were fun, and exactly what Gahyeon needed to get over her annoyance, at least for a while.

“I’m going to do the same thing with my tongue now, okay?”

Yuna shot up onto her hands. “Your t-tongue?”

Gahyeon circled Yuna’s clit with her finger, making her moan and tense up. She lowered her face so her mouth would be obscured, and the air from her every word would brush across Yuna’s pussy. “I might accidentally touch you with my lips too, if you’re okay with that. I promise I’ll be soft and gentle.”

“O-okay?”

Figuring that Yuna wouldn’t be giving her any more confident a response than that, Gahyeon leaned in further, gathering up extra spit as she went. She pressed the end of her tongue to Yuna’s clit, not hard, but somewhat firmly.

“O-oh," Yuna cooed and took a deep breath, "that’s pretty much just like your finge—”

Gahyeon swirled her tongue around Yuna’s hood, and the girl squirmed back and up out of range with a comically loud gasp. Gahyeon smiled internally. She knew what that was about. The shock of a good time could occasionally make one run away.

"Oh no," she said sarcastically, "You didn't like it. I'm sorry."

Yuna scrambled to get back in place, nearly kicking Gahyeon in the face. "No! I-I liked… please do it again?" There was desperation oozing out of her puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. Just be sure to tell me how you’re feeling, yeah?" She really wanted to hear Yuna try to describe being eaten out with her limited sexual vocabulary.

"I'll try…"

"Yes, just be as descriptive as you can, okay? I’ll adjust as needed."

Yuna nodded quickly. It was pretty clear that she just wanted Gahyeon to start again, so Gahyeon did, very, very, very slowly. She wet her tongue and barely touched it to Yuna's clit.

Again, Yuna flinched. This time Gahyeon was sure it was in anticipation. She looked up through the mild cleavage to give Yuna a reminder.

"Uh! Good! It felt good!"

Gahyeon touched again, but snaked her arms around Yuna’s legs to keep her in place. Another twitch, but smaller. Yuna was trying to contain herself. Gahyeon dragged her tongue slowly left and right. Trying to hold back wasn’t easy.

"It's… good."

Yuna's body language said much more than "good" though. She wanted more. Her eyes were fixed on Gahyeon. Her toes curled and uncurled against Gahyeon’s hips. Her knuckles were white, gripping the blanket. Her lungs shuddered with each brand new sensation that popped its way through her nerves. Goosebumps rose and fell and rose and rose and fell and rose. She had to be putting immense effort into holding still.

"Good."

Upping the ante, Gahyeon swirled again, catching the underside of Yuna's hood. Yuna twitched hard, and for a brief moment her eyes rolled up. Her breath was stuck, but it came unstuck with a second swirl, and exited Yuna's mouth in the form of a pained whimper. That was what Gahyeon was looking for.

"You like?"

"Good! It was so good! Please do it again!" Yuna’s inhibition was faltering.

"Tell me more." Gahyeon didn't pretend to hesitate again. She pressed her tongue under Yuna's hood and down against her clit, wiggling back and forth while keeping herself planted.

"Mmm! I… I don't know what to—OH! AUGH!”

Yuna’s last exclamation was a bit of a surprise, both to Gahyeon and Yuna herself, it seemed, as she quickly covered her mouth, eyes wide.

“Was that a good sound?” Gahyeon asked, already knowing the answer.

Yuna nodded.

“Uncover your mouth, then, and keep it up.”

There was some hesitation in how Yuna followed the instructions as Gahyeon got back to playing with her clit, but she did a little better than simply following. She grasped Gahyeon’s hands, alternated between hitched breaths and primal moans, and tucked her chin toward her chest. 

Every word Yuna tried to say morphed into one of those noises until she came. One long, vulgar scream faded into mewling whimpers.

Gahyeon crawled up Yuna’s body, pecking her along the way and giving her a much longer, wetter kiss on the mouth. Yuna giggled through it all, a little cum-drunk. “So,” Gahyeon said, “that’s one of the basics.”

“The b-basics?”

“Yeah.” Gahyeon twirled onto her back, slipping an arm beneath Yuna to pull her in close.

“Wow…” Yuna muttered.

The two basked in each other’s warmth for a while without a word. Gahyeon shifted a couple of times to try to optimize her comfort, but still mentally bemoaned Yuna’s lack of experience. She would not have minded a bit of reciprocation. A plan to pick up one or two of her usual subs on the way home began to formulate in her head. Jane would certainly be up for a bit of fun.

“Um, Gahyeon?”

Gahyeon stroked Yuna’s hair, around her ear, down her jaw, and to her chin. Yuna smiled and purred a little. Gahyeon returned that smile. “Hm?”

“Thank you for, um… not making fun of me.”

“Don’t thank me for that.” Gahyeon traced half of Yuna’s lower lip. “I made fun of you a little bit when we started. And quite a bit more later, I believe.”

Yuna cautiously placed a hand on Gahyeon’s breast, but got a little bolder and lightly squeezed when Gahyeon smiled. “I just mean most of the time.”

“I guess. I’ll keep in mind that you appreciate that.” Gahyeon giggled as Yuna nuzzled her stomach with her cheek. “Just be clear with people about what you do and don’t like, and you’ll have a… great time.”

Gahyeon’s last words were drawn out over the sound of a buzzing phone. Yuna’s, to be precise. She stretched to get it from the nightstand and saw “RAW” was calling.

“Raw?” Gahyeon asked.

Yuna reluctantly removed her hand from Gahyeon’s boob to take the phone. “That’s Ryujin… sorry. One sec.”

Though it was quiet, the lack of ambient noise made it easy for Gahyeon to hear Ryujin’s loud voice. “Where the hell are you, Yuna? We checked the bathroom.”

“I’m… upstairs.”

“Upstairs? The fuck are you doing upstairs for a whole hour?”

Yuna’s eyes traveled up and down Gahyeon’s body. “Cuddling?”

“Cuddling? For an hour? Yeah right.”

Huge puppy dog eyes met Gahyeon’s, trying to ask for permission. Gahyeon shrugged.

“Wel—”

“I’m cuddling with Gahyeon because we just had sex,” Yuna said, and then immediately snapped her mouth shut and stared into space.

“What?! No you didn’t, you fuckin baby child! You couldn’t handle her!”

Gahyeon watched for a few seconds as Yuna’s shoulders shrunk into her neck while Ryujin berated her.

“... and you’d come running back down the stairs crying—”

“Actually, Ryujin,” Gahyeon spoke loudly, “she’s not bad. You should let her practice on you sometime.”

Gahyeon swore she heard the sound of a pair of spit takes through the phone before it suddenly beeped twice and went silent. She decided not to wait too long for Yuna’s embarrassment to take over, and laid a hand on Yuna’s back. “Care to learn anything else today? If you want to prove what you can do to Ryujin and Yeji, you may need to do to them what I just did to you.”

Thankfully, Yuna’s blush didn’t get too far. “I-I don’t know if I can do any more right now.”

Gahyeon smiled. “As in it’s time to head out or you just want more snuggles?”

Yuna pushed herself up onto her hands and knees and crawled forward, kissing Gahyeon’s lips a few times in rapid succession. “If I say I have to go, can I have your number?”

Gahyeon ran her fingers through Yuna’s hair. “Sure… but the first thing you're going to text me is a safeword for next time.”