#and the ignorance of people from less fortunate backgrounds

[elijasz]

Anyway, if you're wondering why I'm not posting any art: I am literally struggling to survive. This is the most stressful time I've ever had in my life and I have worked several jobs while managing a household and caring for a family member before. This might truly break me and I am NOT easy to break.

I barely sleep, I have no time for physical exercise, I have more to do than I can possibly ever check off my to-do-list and adding to that, people are being truely awful and testing my patience, which is literally running so thin you can see through it like it is a window you just cleaned.

I'm having heart issues and permanent headaches, that's how bad it is. I slept a total of 1 hour this night. I'm permanently nauseated. Oh and to top all that off I'm poor and my only weather-appropriate pair of shoes has been falling apart for about 3 months now and I still haven't been able to buy a new pair.

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #32

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.4k+

⇠��𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

The first message full of shock comes from Jimin, sometime in the middle of the week after you've had the time to look at your phone. Clicking on the message he sent you, your brows furrow in a slight confusion as a picture comes into view. You quickly realize it's a screenshot, not just an ordinary screenshot though. It's from Jungkook's Instagram.

Jiminie: wtf are you guys back together??? 

There's no doubt that you're not the one in the picture holding hands with Jungkook. You would know if you were the one in it, but you know very well who it is. The picture itself is simple but soft at the same time, them holding hands as a sunset shines in the background making it more artistic and beautiful. He captioned it with a simple heart emoji, not tagging her or anything that could reveal the true identity of a person he's holding hands with.

"no, it's not me" you reply back, nibbling on your bottom lip wondering if it's your place to reveal Jungkook's mysterious 'new girlfriend'. Surely, Jimin is going to be curious who it is when it's not you and your assumption proves to be right when a new message comes up on your screen.

Jiminie: he's got a new girlfriend already??? who is it?

Deciding that Jungkook wouldn't post that picture in the first place if he didn't want anyone to know yet, your thumbs hover over the screen for a few seconds before you think 'fuck it' and type your answer.

"it's Kiko"

The three dots appear instantly and then they're gone, obviously describing Jimin's shock before your phone is flooded with a set of new messages.

Jiminie: kiko??? 

Jiminie: you can't be serious

Jiminie: please tell me this is a joke

Jiminie: wtf

Jiminie: this has to be a joke right??!!

Jiminie: are you okay?

Right, he thinks you and Jungkook were dating forreal, he doesn't know about the deal and that you're not heartbroken like you probably should be. That's if you were his real girlfriend in the first place.

And you do feel bad about not telling him the truth, but you and Jungkook had a deal where you both agreed not to tell anyone. Plus, a message is not a place to reveal such a thing. You know you can trust Jimin, he wouldn't tell anyone if you told him what it was really about but you're not in the mood to make any fuss about it.

"I am, don't worry about me :) I'm really fine" you assure him, knowing he probably doesn't believe you until he talks to you about it in person but fortunately, he lets it go and sends you a thumbs up.

You tuck your phone back into your jeans before your name resounds in the room, Junho calling for you with his usual frown.

"Y/N? Can you please help us?"

You nod, ignoring the way he's glaring at you for using your phone when it's not your break yet. Coming into the room full of people and a few models, you notice Yoongi standing beside Junho with his impressed look and you just know he's mentally sending curses at Junho for bossing around everyone, barking orders.

The chattering of people fills the room, along with clicking sounds and occasional phone beeping that makes you sight at the distracting sounds. The pencil in your hands clicks against your wooden desk, staring at the blank paper in front of you. Your body craves for some more caffeine, in desperate need to wake you up from your slumber and lack of inspirational state. You're supposed to come with new location ideas for the next photoshoot in less than a week, the deadline slowly making you lose your cool. The cold weather narrowed a lot of options for you. You've barely managed to come up with two ideas, the very ones that are sitting at the bottom of your desk in hope you'll come up with something better.

Looking at the time on your phone, you sigh when you still got twenty minutes into a break. Someone would surely notice if you'd just stand up and make your way to the cafeteria area.

Your boss wouldn't surely appreciate seeing you there before your actual break time. Just as thoughts whether you should risk it or not, Junho walks on your floor with a man beside him. Your brows furrowing in confusion, trying to identify him from a distance, the realization makes you confused even more.

Jungkook walks beside your boss, a camera securely held in his hands before he takes it with one hand, shaking your boss' with the other one. With a sweet smile, which is hard to see from him, he waves at him before he disappears behind the corner, probably going back to his office.

He stands there, looking around with slightly scrunched eyes and soon enough, his eyes find yours before a wide grin spreads on his lips. He's walking towards you, catching some of your co-workers' eyes at the new face but he ignores them, grinning at you.

"Hey, slacker." he greets you, setting his camera onto your desk. Slacker. Has he met Yoongi?

"What are you doing here?" you ask him confusingly, not believing that Jungkook is in the same building as you. You've never seen him here before and it's quite a surprise.

"The company asked me if I could shoot models," he answers with a shrug, looking around since this is the first time he's here. "I was so surprised when they called me. I was thinking about telling you when we were on the phone the other day, but I thought surprising you would be better." he grins, obviously pleased with his plan when he sees your confused frown and open mouth.

It's no lie Jungkook has many experiences taking photos of models. In addition to weddings and other celebration events, he used to take photos of his pretty classmates back in college while he added those pictures to his portfolio. Those girls looked like models for sure, posed like they've been doing it for years or maybe it was just Jungkook's great skills of photographing and editing. You vividly remember him shooting a few models when he worked for some modeling company for over a year. He used to add those pictures on his Instagram, earning him exposure and a couple of hundred new followers.

"How did I not know about this?" you ask, the question more aimed at Junho and the rest of the team since you usually would know if there were any changes with the photographer.

Jungkook shrugs, "They told me the previous photographer got sick or something. I don't really care though, this company pays so well." he beams, visibly enthusiastic about the pay but can you blame him?

Snorting, you shake your head at him. "Are you scheduled for the photoshoot that's in twenty minutes?" you ask him curiously.

"Yeah, your boss just went over some of his ideas, mainly informing me about the theme and things like that. Is he the one you complained about?" he asks, making sure none of your co-workers could hear him, even though they would most likely agree with you.

Junho can be a real asshole, especially when he's stressed and thinks everyone is his servant. "Yeah."

"He wasn't that bad." Jungkook shrugs and you recall him smiling at your best friend, a very rare sight if someone asks you.

"Trust me, he's usually a dick. It must be because you're either a stranger or because he's in a good mood." you point out.

"It's my charm," he grins, sitting at the edge of your desk as you take his appearance into account.

For today, he swapped his usual cargo pants and oversized hoodie (among other pieces of clothes that he seems to love) with black jeans and denim jacket with a white shirt tucked underneath. Still, you notice his favorite black boots that he seems to wear all the time and it makes the corner of your lips tug upwards.

"People love me." he adds, causing you to snort.

"Oh, get over yourself," you roll your eyes at his confidence as he's joking of course, scrunching his nose a bit at that while he laughs. "Jimin texted me the other day," you start once the two of you calm down, Jungkook's eyes looking at you with interest. "He saw the picture of you and Kiko."

"Yeah," he chuckles lightly, looking down at his lap for a moment. "He spammed me with messages asking if it's really her."

"Sorry, I was the one who told him it's her. He texted me and I didn't know what to say, I didn't really wanna lie to him." you confess, seeing him giving you a wave and tells you not to worry about it.

"I'd told him, it's not like it's a secret or something. Don't worry about it." He gives you a smile.

"So, how are you guys?" you ask, trying to give him a smile back but you rather focus your eyes on your desk as you let go of the pen and lean yourself against the chair.

Over the week, you barely had spoken together, mainly over a text or you sending to each other meme pictures. Thus, you never had a chance to really ask how their relationship is going so far. The last time you talked about it was at the bar and then none of you brought it. There never was a reason to bring it up to be honest, it doesn't seem like a topic to go through a text. Or maybe Jungkook purposely doesn't bring her up knowing you're not very fond of her and it's still new.

"Good, I took her on a date yesterday," he answers sheepishly (or maybe cautiously) but then when he sees you nod, he continues. "Like I said, we're taking it slow. She's supposed to come over tonight for the first time since, you know... we broke up."

Come over, huh? Well, it's not like she hasn't been there before. She used to practically live there and she would, if Jungkook had the chance to ask her to move in. It's just a matter of time before Jungkook will think about asking her again, that's if their relationship will be good like he's hoping it'd be.

"Are you nervous?" you ask curiously, noticing how the amusement that was there just a few minutes ago is gone.

"No," he quickly disagrees, "I just wonder how it'll go, I guess. I mean... the dates have been amazing but I'm more cautious now. Does that make sense?" he lets out a chuckle, but it comes out nervous and maybe even embarrassed.

It makes your features soften as you give him a gentle smile. "Of course, it does. It's only fair for you to be cautious." you assure him.

However, if he's going to feel cautious for the rest of their relationship, you don't see how that'll do any good. On the other hand, you see that he's trying and he definitely doesn't need your honest opinion about it, or more likely hear it since he probably knows it by now. All he needs is support and maybe someone that won't judge him for his decision.

"But I'm excited too, don't get me wrong. But it feels so weird at the same time. Anyway, it's going to be a chill evening, maybe we'll watch a few movies or something." he shrugs, a little pout on his lips as he seems unsure about tonight's plans.

You nod along his words, trying not to let them affect you so much. You wonder if he's going to call you to watch a movie sometime like he used to. There are still some doubts you have, wondering if he's not going to neglect you like the first time.

"Mr. Jeon, are you ready?" Junho calls, visibly trying to mask the surprise of you knowing Jungkook and how close you seem to be, considering he's sitting on the edge of your desk while you're slouched on the chair, a complete opposite of your usual ladylike appearance.

You cough, straightening yourself while Jungkook snickers underneath his breath at you.

"Yeah, sure." he calls out to Junho, turning to him briefly before he grins at you.

"Go on, Mr. Jeon before he'll bite off your head for making him wait." you joke underneath your breath, Jungkook giving you a playful roll of your eyes.

"See ya." he waves at you and you do the same thing, not really sure if his words are just an empty promise. It's in the stars when you'll see him again.

As you're chilling on your couch later that evening, too caught up with watching a new movie while stuffing yourself with ramen, surrounded by no one's presence but your own, your phone that's been sitting on the coffee table for quite some time vibrates with a new message. You're halfway with getting noodles into your mouth as you glance at your phone, Jungkook's name flashing on your screen.

Maybe the universe listened to your silenced thoughts that you've never spoken loudly, because they're exactly that. Silenced thought. Perhaps, it's Jungkook's way of telling you that time things could be different. Or maybe that you underestimated him too soon.

Kook: karaoke night on friday? jimin and tae could tag along too

Putting down the chopsticks, you pick up the phone and unlock it before staring at the message for a moment when the screen illuminates your face. You don't realize that you stare at the message, the movie long forgotten and is just a blunt noise in the background. It's understatement you're quite surprised by his message, considering you thought he'd be spending his Friday night with his girlfriend.

Your thoughts are interrupted with Jungkook's name flashing on your screen, this time in a form of incoming call which you take with a grin spreading on your most likely stained lips from ramen. Before you can say something, Jungkook is already one step ahead of you.

"You know I can see you read my text?" he asks amusingly and you can picture his own grin perfectly, hearing it clearly in his voice.

Snorting, you reach for the controller and pause the movie. "Too scared I would left you on read?" you joke, hearing him feign an offended and dramatic gasp.

"You wouldn't!" he continues, causing you to laugh at him before his own laugh boosts through the speaker. "Well, I'm deeply disappointed. I was looking forward to singing our hearts out on Friday night."

Your shoulders shake at the chuckle you let out, amused with your best friend. "I was about to reply to you," you inform him, smiling as you say it which he can certainly hear. "Guess I had to process your text, you surprised me." you joke, with no intention to let out a bitter remark.

Frankly, it's not a bitter remark and it surely hasn't sounded like one, the light and amused tone is just enough evidence that you meant no harm. And Jungkook knows that, yet he catches onto the double meaning of your words and hears the unsure and nervous chuckle you give him, once you realize how it sounded.

"Y/N," he calls out softly, making you feel like an idiot for even saying such a thing.

You nibble on your bottom lip, not sure what to say.

"I told you, I'm not neglecting you again,"

It's weird. Jungkook is probably the only person who can read you so accurately, almost as if he knows what's going through your head.

And you smile, letting out a puff of breath that you've been holding since he called out your name. He tells you he's not taking a no for an answer, causing you to giggle while a clear happiness erupts in your chest.

Perhaps, this time will be different after all.

"I had fun tonight, thank you." Kiko's soft voice reaches Jungkook's ears as soon as he turns off the engine, turning his head to look at her with a gentle smile.

"I had fun too," It had been a casual evening spent watching a movie, talking and joking around, maybe a few innocent kisses here and there. He even hesitated when he gathered his car keys to take her home, thinking about asking her to stay over but then he had to remind himself he wants to take it slow. Of course, it doesn't mean her sleeping over has to end with them sleeping together. He's not quite sure he's ready for that, even though he prayed he wouldn't sport a boner whenever they kissed.

He still has a lot of things to figure out, first he had to make sure he actually doesn't feel repulsed kissing her. He doesn't. He had found kissing her easy and natural, no thought of someone else crossed his mind while their lips were moving together. That's a good thing.

Jungkook is the one who asked to take things slow, Kiko is just respecting it and doesn't want to cross any boundaries, realizing how lucky she is right now. She even thinks to ask him to come up for a moment but she refuses it, Jungkook's request repeating in her mind.

They stare at each other, Jungkook's eyes dropping down at her lips before he leans towards her. She meets him halfway, letting their lips meet for the last time tonight. It's slow and tender, full of emotions as Jungkook cups her face while unbuckling his seatbelt to get closer to her.

As much as tonight has been nice, nicer and more comfortable than Jungkook thought, he still spent some time wondering how he feels about certain things. Of course, he wanted her and he is happy. For the first time, he doesn't feel heartbroken when he stares into her brown eyes. Forgiven but not forgotten, just like he said to her when they met up for dinner. Therefore, he's had enough time to think about how he wants this to work.

He's aware of Kiko patiently waiting on any more requests coming from him. She's determined to listen to him and do everything in her power to save their relationship.

"I don't want to know," he whispers when he slightly pulls away from her lips, their foreheads pressed together while he inhales her sweet perfume. She smells like roses.

He recognizes confusion in her eyes, causing him to clear his throat before he lets out a light sigh. "I don't want to know who it was. I don't want to know anything about it. The less I know is better. Then I won't be thinking about it that much."

She pulls away with a pained expression, nodding along his words to let him know she understands and will fully respect that. She doesn't want to bring it up either, she's ashamed and perhaps she'd want to clear some things out after all, but like Jungkook said... the less he knows is better.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, leaning back in the seat as she stares out of the window at the apartment building she lives at. "I'm so sorry."

There's nothing for Jungkook to say. He doesn't want to say 'it's okay' because it's not. Maybe someone would call him stupid for getting back to her, but he's not that stupid to persuade her that what she has done is okay. She hurt him and she's able to see that whenever she looks into his deep eyes. Still, the young couple believes their love is stronger than this. They're surely not the first couple to get back together under such circumstances. Only a few people would truly understand their – Jungkook's decision.

"What's done is done," he says, briefly looking in front of him before he looks back at her. "I want this to work."

She nods, agreeing with him. "Of course, I want that too."

"Just... don't break my heart again." he mumbles softly, looking down at his lap.

Someone would say Jungkook is a tough man, especially when seeing his build figure and tattoos covering his skin. But he's got more layers than that, he's not a tough man at all actually. However, only a few people know that Jungkook is quite sensitive.

"I won't," she says determined but still softly, "I'd never do such a thing."

"But you did." Jungkook says, his brows frowning. He doesn't mean to sound like he's blaming her again, all he wants is to not think about it that much and maybe learn how to live with it. But it'll take time.

"I'd never do such a thing again," she corrects herself, taking his hands in hers. The size of their hands is almost funny but Jungkook stares at them with soft eyes. "I'll do whatever you want me to, Kookie. Just say the word. I love you so much, I'm sorry I hurt you."

She told him that a couple of times, she's just making sure he knows that.

He nods, wishing he could trust her just like that but she'll have to earn it. Words are not enough, it's the actions. So, for the last time tonight they kiss and it's full of pain, but of love as well. Giving him that tiny assurement that things are able to get better. Maybe it'll hunt him for quite some time but if he wants her, he'll have to learn how to accept it and live with it.

And maybe it'll destroy him or just prove him that he's not stupid for making that decision, but strong instead. And full of love too.

"Come on, Y/N! One song!"

You roll your eyes for the hundredth time at your best friend, sinking in your seat beside Jimin and Taehyung in hope their bodies could swallow you whole and your best friend would not be able to see you.

"I'm not drunk enough for this!" you reason, hearing Taehyung and Jimin laugh.

What, they know it's true. Jungkook knows that too. You've to at least have some alcohol inside you to be able to sing aloud in front of them, especially when Jungkook sings freaking good. You'd sound like a broken siren beside Jungkook, you're not ready for that embarrassment while being sober.

Jungkook cackles, putting down the mic. "Coming right up." he sings, opening the mini fridge in the small karaoke room that you rented for today's evening.

He pulls out a beer and hands it to you, in hope you'll sing your heart out with him soon. As much as he's enjoying singing with Taehyung and Jimin, the two of you are crazy whenever it's karaoke night.

"Okay, let's sing... Candy Shop!" Jimin yells excitedly, already turning on the song as he grabs one of the mics. "You, get drunk!" he points at you, raising a brow as you chuckle and open the beer for yourself, taking a gulp. "Let's go boys!"

You watch the three of them rapping, Jimin imitating the woman's voice while you record them, cackling on the small black leather sofa. He starts wiggling his ass, Jungkook not being able to sing how much he's laughing while Taehyung tries his best, singing and laughing at the same time. Their faces are red, their laughs filling up the room with your own as Jimin turns to you, wiggling his brows.

"Oh no!" you yell, already putting your legs up but Jimin slaps your legs back down, his ass right in front of you as he's giving you a lap dance while trying to rap the song.

You laugh, your stomach hurting while you flick off Taehyung when you notice him recording it. Knowing him, he's already posting it on his Instagram stories. Jungkook throws his head back, laughing as he claps excitedly, finding your red cheeks more than amusing.

Idiots. But they're your idiots.

One hour later and your third can of beer, things progressed a lot. You're no longer sitting and laughing at your friends, saving your own embarrassment for later.

"Are they... fucking serious?" Jimin mumbles with bewilderment on his face, watching you and Jungkook jumping while singing one of Rihanna's songs.

"We found love in a hopeless place, We found love in a hopeless place!" you both sing, gripping your mics tightly while you're too close to each other, noses almost touching.

You can feel Jungkook's breath on your face, his cologne hitting your nose while you both act dramatically just for the song. Completely clueless to your two other friends in the room that stare at you totally dumbfounded.

"Didn't they... break up?" Taehyung asks, leaning towards Jimin while he shares the same look of confusion, sitting on the couch beside his friend.

"They did," Jimin answers, seeing the two of you jumping as the chorus starts to play. "It's better than some tension or hatred feelings between them, right?" he asks unsurely, still finding it weird the two of you are completely fine when you were dating only recently.

"It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny, but I've gotta let it go!" Your voice boosts through speakers, your hand dramatically touching Jungkook's side of face while he plays along, leaning to your touch.

It's crazy that you keep going, even after singing top hits for the last half an hour. You're both breathless, your hair disheveled as if you've ran a marathon but all you've done so far is jump around and dance.

Jungkook looks somehow similar to you, his hair put in a bun to keep it from his face. His cheeks flushed, both from the alcohol and from the constant singing and dancing.

God, you just hope you won't get kicked out of this place. You're sure the two of you can be heard from the outside, but you can't bring yourself to care. One, you're already drunk and two, you're having fun. The song ends sooner than you wanted it to and you quickly pick another one, seeing Jungkook grinning from the corner of your eyes as he starts to stretch, preparing for another round of wild singing and dancing.

Jimin and Taehyung are watching you, but the two of you are too busy to notice that look on their faces.

"'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need, chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why," you and Jungkook sing together, already somewhere around the tenth song by now. "If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

"They're so fucking weird." Taehyung comments, staring with his big eyes at the two of you.

Jungkook grabs the back of your head, bringing you closer to him while you giggle while singing, your fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt.

"It's them," Jimin shrugs, taking a gulp from his own beer. "They have always been different than most best friends."

"Yeah, they're exes now too." Taehyung deadpans while Jimin rolls his eyes, but silently agrees with his younger friend.

After the song ends, Jungkook proudly declares he's going to "take a piss" (his words) causing Taehyung to tell him he's going too, leaving you and Jimin alone. You plop next to Jimin, pouting when he hands you an orange juice instead of a beer can. You've had enough, you can feel it that you're getting sleepy as soon as you allow your body to relax. However, with alcohol in your system you wouldn't be too opposed to drinking some more.

Unfortunately for a drunk you, Jimin already knows you by now and even offers you some crackers which you decline, sipping on orange juice.

"Are you and Jungkook really fine?" He takes the privacy of the room to address his confusion and worry, seeing you lean against the sofa before you glance at him with a slight frown.

"Yeah," you nod, "I already told you." You did, through text. He wants to see and hear you saying it.

"But he's back with Kiko." he points out as if you didn't know, causing you to chuckle as you shake your head.

"No, shit, Sherlock. I know." you laugh, met with Jimin's frown as he seems completely dumbfounded all over again.

"And you're not a little bit hurt by that? I'm sorry, I just find it hard to believe that you don't care and are completely fine with it."

"I'm not," you shrug, sweeping a few hair strands off your face that manage to fall out of your messy bun. "But just because she cheated. He doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve him." you slur out honestly, shrugging as Jimin nods agreeing.

"Yeah, but that's it? That's the only reason you don't like them together?"

Perhaps you're drunk, but you're not stupid and recognize the hidden meaning behind Jimin's interrogation. "What are you on about, Jimin? Spill it out." you raise your brow at him, seeing him give you a little distressed look.

"Isn't it because... I don't know, you love him, maybe?"

You almost choke on your spit, Jimin patting your back once you almost shoot from your seat, staring at you with wide and worried eyes. "You good?"

Ignoring his question, you glare at Jimin. "I don't love Jungkook." you inform him, causing his mouth to open.

"You don't?"

"No," you shrug, "I mean... I don't love him like that."

"And how do you love him then?" he asks confusingly.

"Like a best friend." you answer casually, deciding to taste the bacon flavored crackers after all.

You stuff your mouth, ignoring Jimin's eyes on you. "But you were dating." he points out.

It makes you snort but you don't comment any further. "Yeah, and we're not anymore. We're best friends."

"But didn't you guys love each other when you were dating?"

You turn to him, glaring at him as he quickly jumps to explain himself. "Sorry, I just thought you wouldn't be dating if you guys didn't love each other or had any deeper feelings for each other. You wouldn't risk your friendship like that."

You pause, stopping your chewing before you swallow it slowly. But Jimin sees the way you froze for a second and that's all he needs to confirm his suspicion. "You're not telling me something." It's not a question, it's a realization.

"Jimin," you sigh, mentally cursing yourself for not controlling your reactions better. But it's not fair of him to interrogate you while you're drunk.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me," he tells you softly, "But no matter what it is, you can tell me when you feel like it."

"I know," you tell him softly, giving him a faint smile. "Thank you, but I'm fine really." you assure him, earning a nod from him.

Wiping your sweaty hands against your jeans, you straighten yourself as Jungkook and Taehyung come back, grinning and laughing about something.

"You guys ready to go?" Taehyung asks, the only person completely sober since he's the driver for tonight.

You're sure you won't have any voice tomorrow morning, but surely will have a hangover from the alcohol you've drank tonight. Jimin helps you to get you to stand up, eyeing you worriedly when he sees you stumble but you laugh it off, leaning against Jungkook once everyone gets out of the room.

"I'm drunk," you comment while you wait for Taehyung and Jimin to pay for tonight, each of you splitting the bill beforehand.

Jungkook chuckles, holding you tighter when he feels you sliding down a bit.

"Today was fine. I mean fun." you blubber, causing Jungkook to hum while he stares at Taehyung and Jimin before glancing back at you.

Your eyes are already fluttering shut while a lazy smile makes its way on your lips.

"It was," he agrees grinning, "Let's get you home."

With Taehyung and Jimin approaching the two of you, you all are ready to go back home. They make sure you get into your apartment safely, bidding their goodbyes while you do the same thing, ready to take a shower and go straight to your soft bed.

You go to bed with a smile on your face, memories of tonight replaying in your head having no idea what the universe has prepared for the both of you.

[xjulixred45x]

I hope I am not too late to make a request. Can I please get a Yandere Toji Drabble where he is obsessed with a Sorcerer darling and their CT is based on divination so they are one step ahead of Toji whoever one day they end up corning their darling and it leads to a scary game of hide and seek

YEAH BABY!! Finnally some content for this man! I was wondering when Someone was going to Request him(finnally something that is NOT SATOSUGU THANK GOD!)

Yandere Toji Fushiguro x Reader: a Step ahead.

(reader) knew from the beginning that something was wrong.

They noticed very quickly when He began to follow them, thanks to their ritual technique they felt safe, because they would always be one step ahead of any weirdo who tried something with them. They didn't consider it something important, just a strange day.

Even when he came back.

Which was kind of strange, it's not like it wasn't possible, but normally these types of people gave up quickly, right? Why was he still behind them?

No, it doesn't matter, they could handle it, they always have been able to.

And they did it, they got rid of the stranger for the second time, already calm that he would probably not see them again, he was always one step ahead of things, they would make sure of it.

They even took the trouble to try to remember if they had seen him at any other time, his intimidating presence was familiar to them, his appearance... but they really didn't think it was that important. They could handle it.

It was like that for a while, the encounters with this person became simply a bad moment or in any case a horrible coincidence that had happened. They were calm knowing that they could avoid him and his bad intentions. It became simply an anecdote of a bad time. They could continue with their normal lives.

But then why did they feel so uneasy?

It didn't matter where they went, what time or who they went with, there would always be that feeling that something could be happening, that something was happening, but there was nothing nearby to indicate otherwise, and with their ritual technique this tipi of things should be a piece of cake.

Thanks to this, (reader) they began to try to spend as little time alone, that way they felt that this feeling was not so difficult to handle. It worked for a while.they would find a way to get rid of this problem.

but then they started to feel it again...he was stalking them...the same guy...again.

Their ritual technique, divination, had saved their live many times, sometimes giving subtle clues and other times concrete information, but with this man, Toji Fushiguro, they didn't understand why it didn't work the same way. It was as if there was some kind of interference with their ritual.

They finally realized where they had seen Toji from. in the files of the high command...one of the deadliest Sorcerer alive...

the sorcerer-killer was after them.

He blended into the background, disappeared and appeared, they couldn't feel his cursed energy. How did he do it? How did he avoid his ritual technique twice?

It all made sense when they met him in person...

They had been using their ritual technique constantly to avoid Touji as much as possible. but it had left them tired and without desire. Fortunately it seemed that he had temporarily withdrawn from his "position" so they were calm.

To be honest, they were kind of hoping. Could it be that Toji finally stopped following them? Did he finally leave them alone?

And then, in less than a second, that Hope was shattered.

-"You are very lucky to be so adorable"-

They were breathing hard trying to calm down and remain silent, now hiding from Toji. Everything went so fast...

-"If any other target was giving me the problems and fights that you give, I would have already killed them"-

They tried to ignore his words and move slowly towards another hiding place, but they couldn't help but tremble after hearing the last sentence. which made their movements faster and clumsier. They feel so scared and so tired...

-" But don't ya worry, You're reciving the Special treating, i would't put a hand over You.."-

They continued to crawl in their footsteps, increasingly tired and weaker from using their ritual technique, there had to be a way out of that, THERE HAD TO BE A WAY...

-"..well, unless you're liking all this sweetheart"-

Finally they saw what seemed like their last hope, now that they had no cursed energy left, they had to get to where the people were.

Move, ignore it, move...

-"because, personally--"-

(reader) came out of his hiding place and with the little strength he had left they went towards the public area, without stopping, without looking towards where Touji's voice was coming from, they just ran.

They ran, they turned the corner, they kept running, they crossed the streets, they ignored all the pros of running away from this man-sorcerer--monster--whatever he was.

and again it was there, the feeling of hope when they were less than a block from the public area, maybe they didn't get rid of it this time, but at least they could try again, they could run away--

With a single blow with something hard, (reader) collapsed, being caught in the air by a strong arm...

They began to shake compulsively, breathe heavily, and felt fear take over them as they looked up to see him.

-"I always enjoy a good game of hunting from time to time."-

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Thanks for the Request ❤️

I didn't really LOVE IT, but i like it, it was fun to write for Toji, if you are going to order from JJK, ask him more and not SatoSugu please (those two already have me rotten)

[artist-issues]

My curiosity keeps knocking, so I've gotta pull the thread. Why would you erase Joker from existence if you could?

I'll break it down:

1. The Joker has no point.

There is not one consistent message in The Joker. It's not trying to "say" anything at all, because it commits to nothing. Instead, it almost says several things. It almost comments on the haves versus the have-nots. It almost comments on mental illness. It almost comments on society's treatment of those with mental illnesses. It almost comments on the government's spending. It almost comments on violence and comedy. But everything it tries to comment on feels like a sentence that gets cut off at the halfway point; after telling you the bad news and promising good news, it fails to deliver.

I'll tell you how it does this. Arthur Fleck is introduced as mentally ill. (As in, there was a developmental problem with his brain chemistry that causes him to miss social cues and laugh nervously.) This means that when he is mistreated by background characters for "being different," the audience should start to feel sorry for him and consider how a mentally ill person should be treated. But wait. He's not actually mentally ill because of a diagnosable problem with his brain chemistry—he claims he feels clearer and better when he's off his meds. Add that to the revelation that he wasn't born with a brain-chemistry issue. He was abused by his mom's ex. So, maybe he's not actually "crazy." Maybe, he's seeing the world as it really is? After all, it's been dark and terrible for him since he was a child. Or no, because what about that laughing tick, that's not normal, right? And he's hallucinating a life with a girl he's attracted to, and believes it enough to walk into her apartment like that's normal. So is he crazy, or just the only one responding correctly to a world as dark as he is?

The movie won't tell you. It starts a sentence, then cuts off before any thought or truth statement can be completed.

The movie also sets itself up as if those who have should be taking responsibility for society's "have-nots." Or it starts to. Mr. Wayne is introduced as directly responsible for the hardship Mrs. Fleck has fallen into. He is Arthur's father, and should be caring for him. But instead, he beats up and ignores the guy most entitled to, and in need of, his help. Just like the way he ignores the poor people in his city, right? But wait. No. Maybe none of that is true. Maybe Mr. Wayne is entirely innocent of abandoning Arthur and his mother—this was all the delusion of a selfish drug-addicted woman, and the rumors she's spreading ultimately lead to the assassination, not only of Mr. Wayne's good character, but of his actual life. And his wife's. So is the character who has power and influence and badmouths the poor a portrayed in a negative light, or a positive light? Is this character a selfish rich person who cares nothing for those less fortunate than himself, or is he just one more guy who could've been good if others' cruelty (Mrs. Fleck's lies) hadn't pushed him "past the breaking point?" Does that justify his cruelty, if it's true?

Both. Neither. Nothing at all. The movie won't tell you.

So you can pick whatever ending you want. But. No you can't. You can't even do that. Because guess what? It's all in Arthur Fleck, inmate of Arkham Asylum's, crazy head. Maybe none of it was real.

2. The Joker is therefore only successful as a piece of entertainment.

Everyone could've guessed that as soon as they saw it was a movie about the Joker. Nobody needed this movie in any sense. We already know more than one origin story for the Joker, as a character. We've already done-to-death every interpretation of his craziness. Everybody knows who he is and what he's like. So obviously, this was just going to be entertaining.

That's bad enough. Stories are supposed to remind you of goodness, beauty, and truth. Why? I'm not going to dissect it because everyone can read the pinned post on my blog. But because: the world's dark enough already, and it's easy to lose your sense of goodness, beauty, and truth. A story, even if it's a tragedy, even if it has no "happy ending," can still take you out of your present state of mind, sit you down in a fresh state of mind, and remind you of truth. Being "entertaining" is just one of the tools that the story uses to take you there. Or it's supposed to be.

When you take the point, the truth, the message, the "theme," out of a story, then it's just the Romans distracting the populace with coliseum spectacle so they forget that they're losing money and wasting their lives. Woohoo. "Fun. Entertainment."

You can disagree with me about that if you want. You can believe, like many I know, "it's fine to just turn off your brain and be entertained! Not everything has to mean something! I bet you're fun at parties!" Okay, cool, so you like being entertained, and The Joker entertained you.

The problem is, what were you being entertained by?

Because:

3. The Joker increases an appetite for evil in the audience.

I don't care. I said it. It's painfully obvious.

First of all, you came here to what? Watch the bad guy lose and the good guy win? No. This movie's got no Batman. You came to glut yourself on two hours of the bad guy with no pesky good guy to share his spotlight.

Is that too harsh? Maybe you just came in expecting the Joker to be about how a good man goes bad. Okay. Uplifting. But sure, maybe a cautionary tale could be useful.

But that's not what you get with the Joker. We already established: there's no lesson, no point, to this movie besides entertainment.

And I don't just mean "aw booo, there was way too much icky blood and scary suspenseful music. Oh no, a movie about a villain had villainy in it!!"

Nope.

I mean, tell me why Arthur Fleck only has moments of peace and transcendence after he murders someone? Why's the sunlight warming him up, like a benevolent gift from the heavens, in the shot after he smothers his mother with a pillow? Why are those somber strings playing out a ditty he can "be himself" and dance to after he shoots three young men? Why is he only experiencing clarity after he kills?

Why are the most "interesting" parts of Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal the parts where the character is killing, stealing, or thinking about killing?

Why is so much effort put into telling the story as if Arthur Fleck is sympathetic, no matter which way you look at it? He only kills mean people. Except his mother. Oh but she was kind of mean, too. Never mind that whatever caused her to ignore, lie, and abuse her son was also played off, in the movie, like a mental illness. The very thing we're meant to feel sorry for Arthur about.

The movie won't tell you who's right or wrong. But it makes you see everything through Arthur's eyes, with nobody to stop him or correct him or offer a differing point of view—and that alone is dangerous. Your mirror neurons are going to make you sympathize with that main character, regardless of how heinous his actions are, when the storytellers are so careful to offer you all these reasons why his actions were "justified."

The Joker was invented to have a Batman. Introduce a villain—even a sympathetic villain—but you have to also introduce the opposite of that villain. It can be one line of dialogue; it doesn't have to be a hero. But you have to say something about the evil when it is represented. Instead of inviting everyone to feel for the villain...then leaving them feeling vaguely satisfied when he commits atrocities. They can't help it. It's the first time he's looked at peace, or in control of anything. That's how the movie is made.

So you're entertained by looking for a statement that isn't there—or by watching one man brutally slay five people, one of whom is his mother, because you were just so excited to see some blood, to see a man snap. Panem et circuses. At its finest. And you paid for it. Smart. Cultured, of you.

I'd wipe that movie out of existence and force the writers and directors to stare at a wall while sad violin music plays in the background for exactly how many days it took them to make that movie, if I could.

[wintersera]

business issues || ceo!kimlip x ceo!reader

notes: i had sm fun writing this i cant lie. BUT anyways if you study business or whatever and i get the terms and shit wrong… no i didn’t pls ignore it </3 ALSO researching high end rich people stuff was a pain in the ass bc it reminds me that i dont have disposable money- also reader is a ‘tsundere’ yk the trope,, and is also like 5’11 just because 😭

cw: degredation, dom reader, sub idol, theyre just very mean to eachother. use of the word ‘brat’ but idk if i characterised kimlip enough to be a brat 😭😭

wc: 3.2k

shit… why is she here?

there was this uncomfortable pressure inside of the meeting room and everyone around felt it, but they couldn’t understand why. a couple guys crossing their arms looking elsewhere in the room, a close ceo friend of yours awkwardly shifting around in their seat and the deafening sound of silence was just… overbearing. you could hear the sounds of a few people tapping their pens, shuffling their shoes, rustling their jackets and good lord it was awkward as hell.

your completely obvious scowl was directed to one person in the room and it was none other than your life long rival, miss kim jungeun.

well let me give you a rundown. you came from a background of extremely successful business men and women. growing up spoilt by your parents, you always looked down at people who were well… less fortunate than you. growing up with a family who were heavily involved with stocks and marketing, you of course, had to honour the family and take up the same jobs as they had. it’s not like you hated it either, in fact, you absolutely enjoyed it. everything was just money, money and more money for you and you were nothing more than happy. your personality wasn’t any better than your average millionaire. picture your stereotypical wealthy individual- that was you, but obviously way worse.

boastful, one of the many words that describe you. you lived for the thrill of business, making risqué deals and then bragging to your peers about how it worked well for you (as if you didn’t threaten them with the risk of losing money… you have your ways) always having recent designer brands on display and whatnot. showing them off to, once again, your peers. and by god you were so cocky about it every single damn time “have you bought louis vuitton's newest arrivals? well i doubt you did, i know a shit ton of your graphs are decreasing. let’s talk about that”

your lifelong rival, kim jungeun, also came from a similar background. another spoiled kid raised by rich and successful parents. like you, she also grew up learning about the marketing business and how to make money easily. another successful business woman in her family, money was a need, a want, a lifetime goal to earn more. she HAD to be rich. it’s just a rich kid thing you know… god, not to mention how painfully bratty she is. throwback to when she’d pester the hell out of her parents to buy her 2 different coloured porsche cars. one black and one red, the same model but different colours… oh, and the time where she started arguing with you about how she wanted the same exact bag as you and begged for you to give it to her? sure, she looked cute be- i mean she looked desperate begging for it. anyways…

now, the two of you sort of grew up with each other, attending the same private school. on the outside people would’ve believed you were friends, really really good friends. but in all seriousness you hated each other's guts. was there a reason? no, not really. rich kid hate was very common actually. petty things like either one of you had a branded item and the other would go mad because they didn’t have it, screaming at each other because you HAD to prove that you were richer than the other, fights over who would ride this specific horse for horse riding practice? the list can go on and on and on.. like said, rich kid problems. what made it worse was that both your parents were best friends, meaning you’d often see each other during your parents’ meetings or somewhere like the golf club. unfortunate right?

anyways, you had started a business at the exact same time as jungeun had. which is also funny because you had started the business in the same area- whats even more funny is that your company specialised in almost the same thing as hers. same starting time, same business, same location, same everything… it’s like you were soulmates or whatever. the thought of that sent shivers down your spine, almost causing you to gag out loud

“my apologies, i feel ill”

you’re sat in the meeting room with numerous other ceos, one notably being your acquaintance miyawaki sakura from hybe cooperation “what’s got you all queasy? nervous for the presentation?” eyes locking into yours, whispering loud enough for only you and her to hear.

“there’s a certain bitch in front of me and the thought of her is making me sick” covering your side profile, whispering back to sakura.

“you have to be joking? miss kim? she’s one, if not, the best strategists out there for marketing. how exactly is she a bitch?”

“uh, hello? i’m clearly the best. also she’s a complete and utter bra-“

cutting you off with a loud cough, the host of the meeting begins his introduction “as you all know, we’ve noticed a couple trends in a lot of your companies graphs. i’ve gathered a few of the best ceos to at least provide some help, because of well… we’re sort of losing audiences right now so-” another throaty cough escapes the mans mouth “-miss kim, if you would like to present first”

rolling your eyes and scoffing i hope you trip over and bruise your ass… her blazer looks very nice today, i wonder who tailored it. whoever did the colouring must use high quality- what the fuck am i thinking about?

not even 5 minutes in and you’re already ticked off. over what? just her, her presence alone pisses you off and it can be seen through the way you’re leaning back on the chair “as seen by this information here i believe that it would most likely attract more audiences. also looking at this chart it sho-“

“clearly you know nothing about the audience, miss kim. you know nothing about this department” a pen twirling around in your fingers.

“excuse me what? i know nothing about the department you say” tilting her head ever so slightly up, intimidating as she may seem, you only scoff at her attempt to drive fear into your heart “i’ll let you know i’m much more qualified in comparison to you”

“HA- as if. i just wanted to mention that your tailoring is humiliating to look at. whoever designed your clothing should be shamed” she looks at you in disbelief, bringing up your petty arguments into the meeting. what are you five?

“miss l/n… you’re stooping way too low” sakura says as she’s holding your arm to calm down.

jungeun ignores sakura, her attention completely diverted onto you and winning the argument “right, as if your tailoring isn’t any better. your cufflinks look like they were made out of nickel silver. how poor do you have to be to buy- i mean borrow cufflinks”

“fuck off. it seems like your eyesight is getting worse, not being able to tell the difference between nickel silver and pure platinum. ha, maybe the fake chopard glasses are fucking with your eyesight”

“you wanna fight?” loosening her sleek black tie, her hands already balled into a fist. seeing her angry made your day, bringing her bratty personality out is what you lived for.

“and break your smug face? with my pleasure” leaping from your chair, you fists ready to land themselves onto her face. yet you feel a couple of people holding you back, one of them being sakura “sakura, you’re a great person, but for the love of god let me go”

“security come quick, a fights broken out” a guy calling for them desperately.

the same goes for jungeun, wanting to smash your face into the table, a few people held her arms. “get off me you lowlifes, you’re ruining my shirt you fucks” flailing around as she’s swatting hands away from her “hands off my blazer, that shit costs more than your monthly salary”

eventually you were escorted out of the building and into your respective cars. what an immature fight you thought to yourself. there was some self reflection going on as your chauffeur drove you back to your house. why exactly did you start pestering jungeun and why did you enjoy it so much? how has she stayed in your mind for so long and why did you keep your rivalry even though you could completely put her out of business (your hubris speaking)

—

you sit at your table, a cup of coffee in your hands as you scan the documents given to you this evening. it was a cold night, the clouds outside your window were dark grey and unwelcoming, much like the knocks at your door “give me a few minutes i’m busy”

you’re currently wearing a white button up, your top button being undone while your tie was hanging around your neck loosely. the rest of your attire was made up of some formal black pants, obviously high end. you looked scruffy today, but it didn’t matter to you since you planned on staying inside your office for the rest of the night.

fuck, your head was throbbing from all the thinking you did yesterday.

another knock on the door and your assistant walks in without any care then leaves? what the fuck “i told you to give me a few minutes, do i need to fire you” shouting at her from across the room. you could care less about your appearance, that was until you saw.. jesus fucking christ… kim jungeun again “why are you here?”

“to apologise for being such a bitch at the meeting” although it sounded genuine, you couldn’t believe someone so haughty could be apologising, it was like you were in a daze how could she be apologising to you while being sober? it’s almost comedic. but you couldn’t just accept it like that, where’s the fun in being nice.

“go on then, bow down and get on your knees or something”

“fuck you mean by that? i change my mind. i’m not apologising to your annoying ass” she spat at the ground “how about you apologise for embarrassing me in front of the other ceos” turning the tables back at you.

as much as she did piss you off you had always looked at her with some sort of interest- yes you fought too much but that’s what made your relationship interesting, to be honest you felt a little sad when she never paid much attention to you. maybe just a little jealous when she would argue with her employees and not you.

“you’re so bratty you know” you scoff, feeling heat rise to your head. standing up from your desk you tread carefully towards her, eyes narrowing as you rip off your tie from your collar, a fiery gaze piercing through her like daggers “there’s no way in hell i will ever apologise to you, brat” you would be lying if you weren’t turned on right now, seeing her once stoic face turn into a cowardly frown made you feel sort of… aroused. “oho, not speaking back for once, cat got your tongue?” your body towering over her with ease, thank the lord for your amazing genetics because now you’re trapping a 5’4 girl between the wall and yourself.

“you’re so pretty when you don’t furrow your brows at me, fuck, you look even better when you have that dumb look on your face” you’ve only been alone with her for a couple of minutes and your knee is placed in between her thighs, she lets out a small whimper, much to your surprise. she could’ve fought you right here right now yet she didn’t, instead she lets you do as you please.

looking at her you coo, “letting me humiliate you like this? i thought you had decorum jungeun,” that may have been her breaking point, you never EVER called her by her first name and with that simplistic action of calling her ‘jungeun’ you had her in the palm of your hands.

jungeun chuckled “you’re saying i’m the one without decorum, yet you’re here pinning me against the wall in your office” her hands sliding down your chest, resting itself on your abdomen. her actions spoke words, she’s as riled up as you were and you knew it.

biting your lip, you try not to make a sound, tracing her fingers around your waist. “you want me don’t you y/n. give in and just fuck me”

the last few words ringing in your ears. forcefully grabbing her arms and bending her over your desk like a slut, her pencil skirt showing the curves of her ass very well “you don’t need prepping, your wetness is already soaking through the fabric… are you a slut or something jungeun?” smirking. without hesitation you drop to your knees, peeling off her tights, exposing her ass to the air “keep your mouth shut for me” you say as you pull her panties aside, her glistening cunt waiting for it to be fucked by you- and you only.

it was a sight to see, and fortunately it was only for you. pausing in your tracks you lean back to observe the scene “you look amazing, however you’d look even better without this cheap skirt” ripping it off of her waist.

“you’re so pretentious that it’s almost disgusting”

“i didn’t say that it looked horrible on you this time though'' truth be told, you were actually internally salivating at the way the skirt enhanced her body lines, but it’s whatever. you could buy another one for her.

parting her folds apart you suck gently on her clit, eliciting a few muffled moans. grabbing her thighs just to pull them apart to make it easier for you. she rolled her eyes back, feeling vibrations from your “mhm’s” and “so good” and other comments on how good she tastes.

the friction of your tongue circling around her clit made her scream out loud “the whole building is gonna hear you if you don’t shut your mouth” yet you secretly didn’t mind that. sure you had a reputation and so did she, but in this moment you couldn’t care less. seeing how responsive she was only made you greedier, she was like money to you; you wanted more. you felt hot, something you couldn’t explain took over your mind and made you work hard. lapping up her cunt, practically making out with her pussy now, you take your hand that was resting on her leg and slide two digits inside of her gently.

“s-shit.. ah-“ clutching onto your desk with her hand while the other one tries to reach for your wrist. moving so painfully slow, you watch her hole swallow and clench around you fingers. entranced by the way it looks and by the way her walls feel wrapped around you, it was like a perfect fit “go, fuck- faster, d-don’t be like this…” the way her voice trembled sent shivers down your body, sounding so desperate and needy that it was overwhelming. never in your entire life had you seen her this desperate and it made you feral.

slowly, ever so slowly, you thrust your fingers in and out. your tongue still working circles around her clit. although it wasn’t like you being sweet and caring, you made sure to start slow. really, fucking, slow. moving her hips in tune to your movements, because you’re that much of an asshole that you had to be painfully slow.

but that’s the fun of it, switching up from very slow to excruciatingly fast- slamming, not two but three, fingers into her dripping cunt. for her it felt out of this world, waves of pleasure crashing all over her body that it seemed like she was being possessed, as you can tell by her legs shaking like crazy. your attention now back at her clit, instead of what you were doing previously, lightly sucking and circling, you licked with passion. it was messy- the way you ate her out, her juices dripping all over your face and dripping down to your chin, something that you could deem as pornographic because it was just that messy “mmmgod- fuck fuckfuck, y/n right there” unfortunately, you didn’t have the view of her face but you knew she would be drooling all over the table from having her cunt be abused.

“so- feels so good…” her moans alone cleared your mind, and you wanted her to scream out your name badly. you felt her walls clench around you harder, knowing that she was on the verge of orgasming you had two options; be mean and edge her, or let her cum all over your face and into your mouth…. the second option sounds way better.

“jungeun mmhm, you’re so close. let me take care of that” your jaw started to ache and your arms became sore, yet your will prevailed. wanting to see her unravel because of you was definitely worth the pain. “cum- cum for me jungeun”

curling your fingers inside of her sent her over the edge, she became breathless and so did you. the sounds of her squirming on the table and the ticking of the clock in the background were the only sounds that could be heard. you ignored the latter and focused on her only. somehow her hand finally made it to your wrist and tugged at the cuffs. then she became limp, as a joke you jerked your hand again which rewarded you with a squeak from her. standing up again, you gazed at her from above. sprawled out across you desk, her once straight hair becoming dishevelled, clothes wrinkled and more- the finest piece of art couldn’t rival such a view.

“um… are you okay? did i fuck you too hard” growing a tad bit concerned. she wasn’t getting up… you assumed she passed out from exhaustion since it was pretty late in the night and well you knew her from childhood so of course you knew she wasn’t able to stay up for much longer“fucks sake, eurgh okay… passed out in my office for what reason” you’re so glad she’s sleeping, or else she would’ve felt the kiss you planted on her forehead “stupid”

—

the next day she woke up in some stranger's bedroom. curious to where she was, she got up from the king sized bed only to find out she was half naked. anyone waking up half naked in someone's bedroom would obviously be scared as hell. she was shocked beyond belief? she knew she didn’t drink so why was she in-

“before you scream profanities in my house, i was the one who brought you home”

“WHATTHEFUCK? oh my bad you scared the living shit out if me… ah- did you at least dress me?”

“well yeah, did you think i would let my employees ogle at you?” you again, scoff at her, your tone less sarcastic than usual “alright come down before breakfast gets cold”

“you made breakfast for me?” the first time you’d see her blushing at you, it was cute but you couldn’t admit that to her face.

“not exactly me, my chefs made it, but i suggested some foods i thought you would like soo…” hiding your face in embarrassment “don’t look at me, please”

[sugurushimura]

not to get pretentious about the yotsuba group but i am going to get pretentious about the yotsuba group

one of the things that’s so fascinating about these guys (and this is absolutely not the intention, but i do what i want) is that they so accurately represent a group of powerful people who came into and experience their status in different ways but nonetheless unite to sustain and advance their own lifestyles even through violent means, regardless of whether any of them individually believe what they’re doing is right.

higuchi and takahashi were both born into positions of status but are seen as unskilled by their colleagues. higuchi can’t stand this, and his resulting feelings of inferiority and resentment drive him to lash out at others and actively use violent means to improve his own standing. takahashi doesn’t seem to mind his lack of capability and is more or less content with his position, but he’s easily pressured into going along with the consensus.

namikawa, ooi, and mido were all born into positions of status and are seen as skilled by their colleagues. despite being at the top in every respect, all three are interested in advancing their own standing, although to different extents and in different ways. all three are among the most active and well-respected participants; what they say generally goes, and what goals they suggest are generally accepted. while namikawa seems well-spoken and sophisticated, he still participates in brutal violence. while ooi seems to value not just his own advancement, but also the advancement of his peers and company, he still participates in brutal violence. while mido privately voices opposition to the brutal violence… you get the idea.

shimura is from a disadvantaged background. despite his clear capabilities, he is scorned by many of his colleagues, and his opinions are brushed aside while he himself is pressured to conform. inevitably, he does conform, even against his better judgment, and when he eventually tries to follow his conscience, these efforts are often too little too late.

kida was born into a position of moderate status and seems to be seen as skilled by his peers. although he may have some reservations about violent methods, he behaves as if he supports them. if anything, he believes that he’s earned his success because he worked for it harder than his more fortunate colleagues, perhaps making him even more defensive of his status.

hatori was technically born into a position of status, but the circumstances of his birth are considered taboo. despite coming into his career in roughly the same way as many of his colleagues and even being skilled at what he does, his peers look down on him. he thirsts for approval and belonging and clearly works hard to attain them, and this causes him to ignore the nastier aspects of their culture. he ultimately doesn’t have the stomach for it, but is unable to escape without consequences.

all eight are ultimately in similar positions but react to the violence of their status differently depending on their background. regardless of their individual responses, though, their group dynamic ensures that the violence continues, as the most powerful voices advance it and those who oppose it are silenced or preemptively choose to stay silent.

[a-m-pyra]

First Burn: Ch9 Crossing Boundaries (American McGee's Alice/Lies of P)

It seemed to P that Alice was all smiles to the point where P began to worry about her — and just as clumsy. She entered the orphanage smiling, greeted Cormac, who ran to the door as soon as he heard a loud “Good morning”, almost bumped into Nan, who was carrying a jug of cream into the dining room, and kissed Mrs. Seymour's cheek and then his.

Everyone looked at them in confusion, Angela, Ines and Abigail with some interest, as if they suspected something; that P and Alice have something in common. P felt a bit embarrassed and touched his cheek, completely ignoring Otto's suggestive look.

“Where does this great humor come from?” Otto asked and Alice giggled.

P found it endearing — she looked so happy, even ecstatic.

“Alex and P are going to the theater with me today.”

That's where Mrs. Seymour's different outfit comes from. 

P noticed it immediately. Mrs. Seymour usually wore very elegant dresses. They weren't evening wear, but they gave her seriousness and incredible class. She looked like an aristocrat and no one could accuse her otherwise. Today, however — without abandoning the red and black — she came down to the dining room in a very everyday dress, maybe even out of fashion, and yet it fit her so well — with puffy elbow-length sleeves, with numerous bracelets on her wrists, and, as usual, festooned with jewelry; and her hair was loose again.

Although P connected both threads — the theater and Mrs. Seymour's changed appearance — he still did not fully understand what really connected them.

“That's news for me,” he whispered, and after a moment he saw a hint of guilt on Alice's face.

He didn't mean to sound angry or irritated, but it felt like that — he felt guilty as well.

“I thought you might like this surprise.”

P gave her a smile. It was then that he saw her expression and body relax. She realized he wasn't angry.

“You can be sure he likes it,” Gemini said.

There was silence. Alice and P looked at each other for a moment, ignoring the children's quiet grunts and ambiguous looks. 

“Okay, let's finish breakfast and we can go,” Mrs. Seymour said, making Alice and P look down.

Mrs. Sharpe and Mrs. Seymour exchanged some strange glances. They smiled at each other knowingly, then winked at each other.

After breakfast, a carriage arrived and the four of them, together with Gemini, went to the theater. P opened his mouth, completely enchanted by the sight. The theater looked a bit different from the Krat opera house, but it was no less breathtaking, especially once he entered the theater.

He looked at Alice and Mrs. Seymour, who were walking side by side. Mrs. Seymour looked at the theater full of nostalgia, as if dozens of pleasant memories were rushing through her head.

“Did you work here?” P asked, and Mrs. Seymour glanced at him and smiled broadly.

“Oh well. You could say that.”

“Alex played roles in plays.”

P opened his mouth.

“Really?”

She waved her hand, snorting under her breath.

“It wasn’t a big deal.”

Alice frowned, then walked over to one of the glazed posters and pointed at it — Gothel from 1868, the platinum plate had the engraving: Most sold-out performances in 1868. The poster showed a drawing of Mrs. Seymour, wearing a burgundy velvet dress, with a tower in the background and a gold braid wrapped around her neck.

“Loose adaptation of Rapunzel, the theater and the director made a fortune on this play, it was the deal of a lifetime, but ‘it's no big deal’.” Alice snorted. “Alex has the director's back so much that she can arrange everything. But There’s more! She was able to get people the jobs they needed. But no…it's nothing.”

“Wow. Indeed, it is impressive,” said Gemini.

P laughed as he saw Mrs. Seymour roll her eyes. She grabbed Alice's hand, not commenting on what she said, and they entered the theater. An elderly man was kneeling on the stage, repairing some mechanism near the stage.

Mrs. Seymour put her finger to her lips, and then they stepped closer. She cleared her throat and smiled.

“Hello, law enforcement!” she exclaimed, and the man flinched and turned around abruptly. He brushed aside his medium-long gray hair and smiled from behind his mustache.

“For God's sake, Coral. Do you want the good old man to have a heart attack?” He got off the stage and started walking towards them.

“Do I fill you with so much fear, Grandpa?” She laughed, and the man hugged her warmly.

“I'm actually shaking with fear.” He pulled away slightly and looked at her. “You haven't changed at all.”

“You too.”

He looked at P and smiled at him, extending his hand.

“Albert Cavil, my pleasure.”

P looked at Mrs. Seymour and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Pinocchio Geppetto,” he replied, feeling strangely cold.

He has never introduced himself by his full name. He felt a terrible pressure when he said his father's name. He hated how much it hurt.

“Just P,” Alice announced with a smile, grabbing his left hand to reassure him.

P shook Mr. Albert's hand and a smile appeared on his face.

“Grandpa, Sir Levis told me to make some minor adjustments to the set.” 

They heard a man's voice. All eyes turned to the entrance where a young man stood, probably Alice's age, maybe not much older. He looked up from behind the papers and smiled when he saw Alice and Mrs. Seymour. P, however, didn't know how to interpret his gaze as soon as he noticed his.

He felt intimidated, ashamed. He wondered if he should tell Mrs. Seymour how he felt.

“Am I interrupting?”

“Come on,” he huffed and reached out for the list, putting on the glasses he wore around his neck.

Meanwhile, as Mr. Albert leaned against the stage, reading about what he needed to improve, the boy greeted Alice, hugging her and kissing her on the cheek. Instead, he simply hugged Mrs. Seymour and patted her on the back.

“P, please meet my friend Dorian. Dorian, meet P.”

Who was he to Alice? The thought flew through his head at the speed of a bullet.

“And P is…?”

Alice snorted and punched him lightly on the shoulder.

“Also my friend. Very close one.”

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. P felt his heart pounding like a cloud of butterfly wings.

A very close friend.

Dorian did not smile at him. He simply held out his hand and P shook it — they both did it just to get the formalities over with. Only after the grimace on his face, he realized how hard he had done it. Dorian, however, did not comment on this. He clenched and unclenched his hand as he looked at Mrs. Seymour.

“What is mother doing here? You said it was probably the end of your acting career.”

“I'm not your mother. And I never will,” she said, embarrassing Dorian so much that P wondered what he would look like with his tie next to Dorian’s face. “Alice convinced me to play the main character in her musical, that's all. Last role, last performance, I will become a therapist and full-time carer.”

P didn't miss the way Dorian placed his hand on Alice's hip and pulled her closer to him — it seemed to him that there was more to it than just a platonic embrace. Alice, however, seemed unfazed, just smiled slightly and moved away from him. She stood closer to P and he wondered about her reaction.

“Come on, P, I'll show you where I work.” She clasped their hands, clenching her own tightly.

P just nodded and followed her.  

“Everything's all right?” he asked quietly as they entered the empty floor — everyone seemed absorbed in their work.

“Of course, why would there be anything wrong?”

P shrugged.

“I thought you'd like to talk to him.”

“Not today. Today I want to show you around so you know where to find me.”

“And you grabbed his hand terribly hard,” Gemini added.

“It's nothing. Sometimes Dorian just can't sense my boundaries." 

P began to wonder if he was constantly crossing them.

“Anyway, come on, I'll introduce you to the rest of the girls. You will see that they will fly all over you.”

P hoped Alice was joking, but when she introduced him to the other seamstresses, they all circled him like puppets in Krat. P liked feeling that he existed — for some reason, he sometimes felt that it was quite the opposite. This time, however, it felt more than enough existing. But Alice pulled him out of the circle of seamstresses, joking them so they wouldn't crush him, and then pulled him towards her workplace. It was behind a patterned screen, just her own place.

“I walled myself off in case I was overstimulated. Then I have some peace and solitude when everyone else is always talking and loud."

P liked this place. It was so different. Full of shiny materials, accessories, patterns and designs — a few of them were even on mannequins.

“And it's all yours?”

Alice nodded.

“I like to express myself artistically on clothes.”

P walked over to the gold and white outfit, shining in the light of the late autumn sun; with a long, patterned cape and puffy, translucent sleeves.

“It's beautiful,” he announced, and Alice walked up to him and put her arm around his shoulder. 

“Thank you.”

They looked at each other again. P felt that tension again as they looked into each other's eyes. This time he managed to brush her hair out of her face, returning her wide smile. 

Gemini held back his snark, allowing them this moment. He felt a certain pleasure in silently enjoying it.

[coyoteprince]

Hi! If I may, this is not about Widderwood, but the way you talked about witchcraft in a recent answer, "Real world witchcraft is literally just moving with intention and cause & effect" and "it helps with being delibreate with my life": seems quite interesting, but would you care to elaborate, if you wish and have time? Or is there a previous post here or somewhere else where you already talked about your view on witch spirituality? Sorry if I bother, obviously you're free to not answer and ignore this message if it's too personal or annoying. Thank you for sharing your art and world!

Yeah I'll try to explain. Unfortunately when people hear magic or witchcraft they of the media fantasy version of witchcraft or whatever when that's not what it is at all. It's just like any religion in that it focuses on cultivating life morals, cause & effect (praying to a God for blessings is similar!), and can be utilized by less than great people for power and control over others.

Witchcraft varies greatly by culture and even the person, but I can only speak from European centric stuff and my own practice. For background, I've followed my own path since I was around 12 with no guidance from others.

Spells work by focusing intention. You want x, so you create a small ritual that helps to focus on the task and what you really want and how to get to that point, like any goal setting. Often rituals are repeated for greater power to achieve a result- just like a habit. Spiritually speaking, the reasoning is often considered that everything has an energy, and this energy can be manipulated, or that there are God(s) at work. Psychology speaking, these rituals simply help you realize what you actually want to work toward and give you the gumption to go for it. For both, it's commonly believed that spells won't work unless you put in the actual, real effort to work toward a goal- and that is part of the magic. It is the act of creation. And failure is just as likely, especially if you don't plan for it or are unrealistic. You can't make someone love you or win 1 mil, but you do have the power to be kind to others and better your finances by education or similar opportunities... and even if you fail anyway, there is always something you learn from it. You just have to be intentional.

I fully believe you don't have to believe in God's or ghosts or anything to do witchcraft. The fact it works to better our lives- even if it really is just in our brains at the end of the day- is enough. And just like how people has historically leaned on a Christian God to get through times of hardship- that's what I use it for. To better myself, to realize what I want to work toward in life, and to make a conscious effort toward it. It isn't a replacement for professional help, but the addition of witchcraft has significantly helped me in my own mental health, continued betterment as a person, and appreciate living.

Tarot cards are similar. They assume fortune telling = fate, which imo is wrong. Some people think theyre demonic, some think theyre "stupid" because of the connection to spirituality, and some people consider them too serious and scary, but like all tools you have to use them right, and by God do they work when you do! Tarot cards are absolutely amazing as prompts. Ask a reasonable question, get a card, and notice what emotions and thoughts come to mind immediately- you have all the answers within you, you just might not be paying attention... and Tarot works as a surrogate third party to reflect and help you pay attention to what you really feel. Witchcraft rituals all work essentially the same way.

There's also more woo-woo centric things like ghosts and fae and such. I personally am on the fence on it all but "believe just in case" lol. I've experienced many paranormal things but also know it could be caused by my autism, trauma, or whatever else. But it isn't hurting me or anyone else.. so it doesn't matter!

This is all a ramble and probably hard to understand if you aren't already very familiar with these kind of eccentric things. I work with a lot of chemistry so I've personally noticed how close witchcraft things are to science and even therapy- and likewise how a lot of past beliefs of magic were actually just yet unexplained science & medicine.

At the end of the day, I know everything may be an illusion from my various ailments and perspective. But that's perfectly okay, because it has done nothing but make me happier, more emotionally strong, and helped me focus to better my life and relationships. It's made me a much better, intelligent person and is the perfect fit for my life, though it may not be for everyone. Our variance, weirdness, and mysteries are the beauty of being alive.

[redjadethewriter]

Age Superiority and Toxic Views on Age Differences in Blank The Series

Yes, I'm back to ranting about this series. You would think I had enough by now, but there's so much to talk about that my mind goes rampant, thinking about it. Okay... Let's get into it.

First, age superiority is a silly thing. I'm not gonna lie; it erks me.

Storytime to start this off.

Once, I shared with someone the secret to my youthful appearance, saying, “I hang around a lot of young people.” This statement made him laugh uncontrollably, likely because of the sly grin on my face as I said it. However, my words were both a joke and a reflection of my true beliefs. I hold a great deal of respect for the younger generations and have cultivated a mindset that values respect for all individuals, regardless of their age, gender, culture, or ethnic background.

My guiding motto is simple: “I respect those who respect me.” If someone shows disrespect towards me, it matters little what their status, wealth, or accomplishments may be—I will not tolerate it. In such situations, I prefer to turn my back and walk away, as no one is deserving of my time and energy, not even in pointless arguments. Overcoming highly emotional states and the passage of time have taught me this lesson.

As time goes on, some things can be learned, while others require dedicated effort and experience to truly grasp. My effort has always been about becoming aware, and the only way to gain awareness is through knowledge and experience. However, some go through life not learning from their mistakes or grow from certain experiences. Some choose to ignore the surrounding people, not listen to them, or have a superiority complex, especially around younger folk or someone who’s less fortunate. This triggered me in Blank the Series. Look, I understand certain cultures its ingrained in us to respect our elders. I come from a background as such. It may not be an Eastern Asian background, but it parallels on a similar level.

Okay, let me share my opinion on something that bothered me in the series, even though I know the story intentionally crafted it that way. In the novel, I can understand why everyone would treat Anueng like a child. After all, she was written as only 18 years old, and in my country, we still consider that too young. However, in the series, she was 20, almost 21. At that age, I had a lot more freedom compared to her. I had a job; I was going to university; I was going out, drinking, and even hooking up with older women facing no judgment from my parents or society. Although the standards in my country may be more relaxed, it’s not something that would shock anyone, I know.

So, when I watched Anueng, an adult woman, being treated as less than an adult, it really bothered me. Yes, she acted annoying most of the time, but I understood she used it as a way to get a reaction from Khun Nueng and to hide her true feelings. It was her way of wearing a mask, just like we all do. I mean, who really acts like themselves in public?

Throughout the show, I witnessed a scared Anueng who simply wanted others to see her as an adult and not subject her to abuse, control, or assumptions about her best interests. She wanted to be able to decide for herself and express her true feelings. And let me tell you, I’ve worked in retail and have interacted with people of all ages, from 18 to senior years. I’ve talked to them, listened to them, and got to know them. And using age as a measure of superiority is just plain dumb. I’ve met older people who make unwise choices and never learn from them, while I’ve also met young people who are wise beyond their years. So, I never judge a book by its cover.

Some young people I’ve had the privilege of getting to know have had experiences just as crazy as mine, if not crazier than someone twice their age. And then there are those who still have a lot to learn. That’s why I never assume their level of experience. And that’s also why older women who dated me were okay with pursuing a relationship with me. They saw my book was thick, filled with experiences and wisdom or… I was just a good…cough… LOL!

So, in the series, when Khun Nueng invited Folk to the amusement park, I couldn’t help but interject. Assuming Anueng would be bored with the adults infuriated me. I coughed and said, “Excuse me, but she’s an adult, too.” It’s unfair to assume that a 20-year-old wouldn’t enjoy the company of 36-year-olds. “What the fuck are you talking about,” I thought. That girl would have a blast with me. I’m sure she would have had an awesome time with Khun Nueng if she wasn’t falling for the Fah’s cruel antics to gain the love of her daughter after abandoning her most of her life.

Rant moment about Fah:

“Excuse me, I don’t care if you gave birth to Anueng. You're a dang stranger to her and you have to earn her love. At this rate, you’re just a child yourself, pretending to be a mother.” I’m not sorry for saying it, but Anueng deserves so much better. If Fah truly wanted to be a part of her daughter’s life, she would have defied her own mother and been there from the beginning. But she didn’t. She only showed up when Anueng turned 20, after all the difficult times were over, and suddenly wanted to play the mother role. Hell no. Even if there wasn’t a romantic involvement between Anueng and Khun Nueng, Khun Nueng acted more like a mother figure than both the biological mother and grandmother did. Family doesn’t have to be defined by blood relations. I can easily envision a scenario where a lonely artist adopts a mistreated, abandoned girl, and they become a genuine family. Then, the royal grandmother would throw a fit over Khun Nueng adopting a daughter. Oh my, that would just cause a stir.

But back to age insecurities.

Even to this day, as a 38-year-old, I still ride rollercoasters and explore various interests. It’s why young people are drawn to me everywhere I work and go. I have a wide range of interests that appeal to people of all ages. I can spend hours talking and listening to 19-year-olds and those in their twenties without any of us getting bored. It’s all about having charisma that goes beyond the norm.

Moreover, it was clear to anyone that Anueng truly desired to spend her birthday with Khun Nueng. However, following Fah’s orders, Khun Nueng attempted to distance herself from Anueng. This action deeply hurt Anueng, especially because she expected someone she loved to offer support and not to push her away. I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Oh, my gosh! It’s her birthday! Can you please respect that she’s an adult? It’s her special day, and she wants you to acknowledge that!”

In romantic relationships, simply being in the same space as the person you are interested in, even with no activities, is not boring at all. However, it is important to note that Khun Nueng has never experienced being in love or loving someone before, which justifies her ignorance in this matter. Nevertheless, I cannot stress enough that Anueng is not naïve. She can sense that Khun Nueng’s feelings for her run deeper than she lets on. This is why it was incredibly frustrating for her to get Khun Nueng to be open and honest about her emotions.

Eventually, in the end of episode 4, Khun Nueng reached a breaking point. She grabbed Anueng by the arm, preventing her from walking away, and expressed her desire for her to stay. Furthermore, in episode 5, she attempted to convince the family that Anueng wanted to remain in Thailand and even volunteered to help her study and prepare for the university entrance exam. Ultimately, her efforts succeeded.

Spoiler alert: Since I read the novel, I’m going to reveal the chaotic age insecurities Khun Nueng has. I don’t think they will use the scene in the series, but Anueng and Khun Nueng go on a run together. Khun Nueng basically can’t keep up with her and automatically goes into doom and gloom about getting older and not being able to physically keep up with Anueng’s stamina. I laughed so hard at that passage in the book that I cried because I couldn’t breathe from laughing so dang hard. I’m like, “Woman, how long has it been since you’ve done legit exercise such as running?” Because I know that being an artist, you are not active in heavier impact exercises. “Girl, please. At 36, I was running circles around ladies younger than me. I could sprint 3 miles and lift 50 to 75 pounds daily, like the bitch of steel.” I’ve met 40- and 50-year-old women that could break me in half. So, please… don’t feed me that bullshit. Age is not a factor in performance; it’s keeping up with activities and pushing your body to work that keeps you mobile and strong as fuck to take on a lady in her 20s with no issues. I’ve known 70-year-olds that can out-bench ladies younger than them. No one can use the excuse of age with me.

Now, I can see certain challenges that come with being in a romantic relationship with someone younger. One major factor is the ability to connect with them, considering the generational gap. Different time periods bring different mindsets. Khun Nueng, 36, probably grew up in a time when same-sex relationships were deemed unacceptable. I can relate to that. Being 38, I witnessed the tail end of a time when it was dangerous to be a lesbian. Nevertheless, I understand her concerns about being forgotten. In episode 6, she expressed her fear that Anueng will eventually make new friends, flirt with other people, and move on. But honestly, I can’t help but think and laugh. “Yeah, right! No one’s ever gonna leave you, let alone forget about you.” A woman like Khun Nueng leaves an indelible mark on your soul. Her eyes pierce through you like daggers, leaving you exposed. She’s fierce and full of spice. No one will forget Khun Nueng for generations to come. She’s absolutely crazy, in the best way possible.

Khun Nueng…Just openly love that girl already, and stop torturing yourself like a masochistic princess. We all know you’re head over heels for her. She’s an adult, so let go of your worries. Thank you.

[eavangeek]

rook questionnaire

tagged by the curious and funny @jainydoe

I've only got the one, and they only recently got a name b/c before they were just "Strength" AKA the tarot card I based them off of.

This is Ishtar Laidir

1: Where in the Thedas is your Rook from?

Nevarra, originally. (I don't like the LoF background in game, so this bitch just had a Crisis and left home)

2: What is your character's alignment?

Ironically, they're a blue/purple. Which I guess puts them for classic DnD alignments as neutral good

3: Race and subclass?

Human Warrior/Reaper Subclass

4: If your Rook was a companion, where would they be found?

Recruit site is gonna be the Rivian Battle Pit (make that actually relevant to plot), but at the Lighthouse they like the music room. They put up a hammock and tend to pick at strings

5: What emotion did they usually pick?

Again, they're a blue/purple. I found myself picking mostly 👍🎭 options with them, right up until the end game

6: What companion are you platonically close with?

Neve. They have the same self deflecting tactics. The same kind of reputation that means their names are in the papers. And the same debilitating horror when they realize they like someone

7: Romantically close with?

Emmrich. They honestly thought he was gonna be just another stuffy mage like the kind they had to guard back home. They like the fact he's fond of spirits and treats everything with a level of fondness.

8: Who are they suspicious of?

Literally everyone. Even Neve and Emmrich. Being a Reaper tends to make you Like That b/c spirits, even the "good" ones always have plans on schemes on plots

9: Does your Rook get along with their chosen Faction?

Lord of Fortune Faction: mostly. They're a brawler these days, and their stage name is "Lord of Mourning". They just like the fact that they're allowed to sun bathe, eat fruit, and Vibe™️

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments?

They knew the harp as a kid, picked up guitar when they left. They don't think they're any good, they just like playing. The wisps around Neve think otherwise but what do wisps know?

11: Weapon of choice?

Claymore and Scythes. Two Handed Fighter AKA Whackis Bongus

12: What is their orientation?

They say Butch. She/They pronouns, generally masc, and bisexual. Always walking around without a shirt on (to the other's horror and delight). But any time people ask, the answer is Butch regardless.

13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it?

Killing and Death are two different things. However it wasn't until they left home they realized why. As a Reaper who had to guard mages in the Necropolis during their dives, they would forget how to tell the difference. Nowadays they try to avoid killing people, or leave the deathblow to someone else

14: What hobbies does your Rook have?

Sun bathing and "plucking strings". Ishtar also lives a good nap

15: What NPCs do they like? Which one's do they dislike?

They have an employee/boss relationship with Isabela, they like Strife (Warrior solidarity), and thinks Antoine needs to listen to his wife more and the Blight less.

16: Do they have a favorite creature in the Thedas?

Mabari! There was a Nevarran noble who got buried with an entire litter and had statues carved for every dog he had. Something about the dogs always seemed a comfort, and wisps of compassion and protection always flocked to the bones. They want to see a live one, one day.

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer?

Eh? It just seemed the only thing open to them when they left home. There's very little someone who swings a big ass weapon and knows spirits can do. Rivian was the only place that had a similar respect like Nevarra does, and being a pit fighter keeps them active.

18: What would your Rook be doing if they weren't recruited by Varric?

Still fighting for money with the LoF, ignoring the rest of the world (and failing)

19: How do you think they'll meet their end?

They figure when it's time, they'll go back home and do what all Reapers do: find a mage who wants an undead bodyguard and let themselves be killed/transformed. Right up until Emmrich says otherwise, they figure they'll just let him do it. He'll at least keep talking to them after they're gone.

20: Would they side with Solas or fight him?

They are so fucking pissed they do in fact fight that bitch. Chose the trick option in game, but yeah they will punch him first to distract him

21: What is your Rook's favorite ability?

The Reaper Ult, Shield Toss, and the Jump Heavy Attack where you swing the weapon to cleave a bitch in two

22: What languages is your character fluent in?

King's Common. They picked up phrases in other languages but nothing that's conversational

23: What do they do after an absolute crisis?

24: Does your character believe in the afterlife?

They know the body can be used, that growth and decay go hand in hand, and they have the controversial ideology that when someone passes, their memories and emotions split into a thousand different wisps, seeking out like minded fractures. It's a very heated debate in Nevarra, and Emmrich hates the theory. Ishtar likes it though.

25: What specialization best represents your Rook?

They're a Reaper™️, it fits their general "put that thing back where it came from or so help me"

26: What animal best represents your Rook?

They're based on the strength tarot, they are a Big Lazy Wild Cat. Sun bathing, kind of a loner, will absolutely fuck a bitch up but only if you bother them first.

27: What was their life like before the events of Veilguard?

Pit Fighter. Prized Boxer type ass, letting Isabela be their manager.

28: Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader?

Right up until [REDACTED], they very much believe Varric to be in charge. They think they're better as a second, they've always been the second.

Afterwards though, the Real DAO Reaper bloodlust leader comes out

29: If you could choose a different faction for your Rook, which one would they have joined and why?

I had planned to have them be a Mourn Watcher before the game was out, but when I played the first time, LoF fit them way more.

30: What's your favorite thing about your Rook?

In game, they're the bitch whose life is falling apart and telling everyone else to "drink water ((:" which is hilarious.

I'm writing a Modern AU w/them right now, and I think my favorite thing is the fact that they tease everyone. They know look like a big muscle block head. They get a kick out of saying things that prove their intelligence and watching others blue screen.

🫵 @nin-dy-tro @nerdanel01 and @elefluff

[pitrsattabhaadmeinjaa]

who wants to read a descriptive writing assignment i got in 9th grade where i started a whole story

disclaimer: author was 14 yrs old at time of writing

I could taste the ash.

Standing in front of the great iron gate, one half open, one half seemingly...melted, I could see the last of the fire last night was finally starting to go out, and the sun was coming up. A few stray flames were all that were left of the ferocious explosion that turned Morgenstern Manor into the sight in front of me.

The long rays of dawn swept over the ruined roof, hitting the glass chandelier almost falling out of the front balcony. The reflected light made me lift my arm and cover my eyes, taking a step into the estate, boots crunching on fallen leaves. I spotted a lone crow sitting on top of the mansion, eyes boring into me. The soft rain ash had no effect on it, nor me. I’d like to imagine it was here for the same thing as me, to grieve for people who perished here. The surrounding trees were charred, bird corpses visible.

The explosion was faster than their wings.

Dragging my eyes away, I took a flower out of my bouquet, a cluster or black flowers lined with silver and blue. I grabbed the lot of them from the nursery on the way here. I put it down in front of one of the burned trees and could’ve sworn the crow nodded at me.

I started walking to the manor entrance, going around an almost pristine fountain displaying the goddess Nyx, thriving in the ash. Strangely, I could still smell the faint jasmine from it.

The tiny stones were crunching against my feet as I made my way to the door, opening it, hearing the creak it always made. I was thankful for the sound, deafening in the quiet around me. The door handle felt smooth under my palm, a contrast to the rough hardness of the hand-carved doors.

The floors inside were made of light shades of marble, and the high ceiling of the entryway used to boast the grand chandelier now blinding visitors outside. The table with the key bowl in front of me had a leg broken, blood dripping down its sides. There was a blob next to it on the floor that vaguely looked like a head with short hair, but for my sanity, and appetite, we’ll deem it a fur bag.

I continued into the first sitting room on the right side and felt more than saw all the flies. One was swatted away from my face and the second one thankfully realized I wasn’t its target. I was willing to bet I knew exactly what it was, but for points mentioned prior, I turned back out into the side hallway, even though I wanted to see what had become of my great aunt’s piano and portrait.

Horrific doesn’t even begin to describe the scene in front of me.

There was debris everywhere and blood was dripping down the walls like a tacky horror movie. Broken glasses, spilled wine and food starting to rot littered the floor. Bile was crawling its way up my throat and I was extremely thankful for my boots, because to get to the first floor so I could successfully ignore all this, I had to cross the hallway to stairway on the other side.

Fortunately for me, the corridor wasn’t too long. I crossed it in no time, passing the grumpy portraits of my family matriarchs. I’m sure I could figure out a curve equation from my great-grandmother’s frown.

Hopping over an abandoned purse, I reached the marble stairs, almost slipping on champagne. Heading upstairs, I reached the east wing, full of my family’s bedrooms. I went into my room, ready for a familiar sight.

What greeted me was so—different, not even the most shadowed corners of my memory could drudge it up.

It was no less than a haunted house.

One of the walls had apparently decided to run away, with one of poles of my four-poster bed it seemed. While they celebrated their freedom, I surveyed the damage.

The vanity mirror was cracked, showing six versions of me and my terror of a room in the background. The wooden doors to the walk-in closet/secret room I had discovered were hanging off their hinges, and the bedsheets were ripped. The only thing still standing was my rifle on the wall, a present from grandma.

The sorrow threatened to choke me, seeing my childhood home like this, but I clutched the bouquet and forced the lump in my throat down. The floor had splintered wood from the furniture, and I once again thanked the gods for my boots.

I clutched my bag to my body, stepped inside the closet, went into the portal that had opened while I was grieving for an old life in my room, and disappeared, never to be seen on Earth again.

I had a sister to raise from the dead.

AN: i dug this up from somewhere. damn this is all over the place. you can give advice/constructive crit. please.

[arcanaaa]

WHILE SHE COULD SAY WITH CERTAINTY THAT ATTAINED A LEVEL OF SKILL IN TRACKING PEOPLE, LOCATING A RUNAWAY HEIRESS CERTAINLY TESTED CANA'S SKILLS. That the young heiress gave Cana the slip not even an hour after their introduction was impressive and painted quite a picture for the knight that this assignment would not go as smoothly as her brethren led her to believe.

❝ What's hard about guarding a spoiled princess? Relax Alberona-- you'll do fine! ❞

Hah. Sure--easy for them to say.

If her old squad could see her now, they would have collapsed from laughter-- or from the beating she would deal upon them for their disrespectful mockery. They wouldn't understand why she took this assignment so seriously to begin with, and Cana never explained her reasons for why she took the job so quickly. From the moment Jude Heartfilia enlisted the Captain to help select his daughter's new bodyguard, Cana modeled herself as the picture-perfect knight who embodied all the qualities a man like Jude would be looking for. He didn't need to know about her background, nor did he seem to care about her past, which was just Cana's luck:

If Jude had learned that Cana was once Lucy Heartfilia's old friend from her childhood, the likelihood of her keeping the assignment would have been neigh impossible. After all, a nobleman of Jude's standing would never allow a street rat to become close to his only daughter, much less be her friend. What would the court say after all? It just wouldn't do. But ignorance was indeed bliss, and neither Lord Heartfilia, nor his daughter suspected anything damning about Cana's upbringing. The only thing that mattered was her abilities and the determination to perform her assigned duties: of which they were now currently playing an elaborate game of hide and seek.

IT WAS FORTUNATE THAT THE KNIGHT CAUGHT UP TO THE HEIRESS QUICKLY. Though certainly not for a lack of trying on Lucy's part, Cana always had an uncanny sense of finding people-- and with Lucy, Cana was especially attuned to her presence. The moment she spotted her Lady's blonde hair, Cana pounced-- pulling her from her hiding spot, she turned her and pressed her against the wall, pinning her with just her body weight alone. She ensured to treat Lucy gently, as was deserving of her stature; however, whatever grace Lucy would expect from Cana would be in short supply, along with her patience.

❝ @startouching-- if this was a serious attempt to run away, then I apologize for ruining your plan, but I can't allow you to remain unguarded. However, if this was your attempt to play 'hide and seek', I would like to ask that you don't. ❞

Despite her stern words, the Knights' expression grew soft.

❝ ...at least give me some warning if you're going to play these games. ❞

[prince-toffee]

A New Breed of Rose

Blaze didn't pretend to understand what Silver did or how he did it. Timetravel was a complex and tiring subject to try to understand. She wasn't even sure Silver fully understood how it worked. He once told her that 'Timetravel in itself was breaking the rules. The more you timetravel, the less the rules apply to you.' That was as much as her brain could comprehend form that conversation. He didn't speak often about his timetraveling escapades, never wanted to worry her with threats he faced or with the existential dread the duty made him face on a near day to day basis. Fixing the future, futures - was difficult, and it weighed heavily on his mind. But never his heart. He always returned the same naive goofy Silver. Always came back to her, for her. So when Silver told her off handedly that he began to cultivate a garden at the end of time she just kinda dismissed it as another part of background white noise, another unimaginable feat too big for moral minds to comprehend, that sort of stuff, heard it all the time. She didn't think much of it - until, her birthday.

It was a long day for the cat, the morning filled with mundane, mind-numbing meetings and mountains of paperwork. The rest of the day was arguably worse. The Princess' birthday was officialy categorised as a national holiday. Which meant massive preparations, parades, parties, festivals in the streets, firework shows, and Blaze was forced to attend all of it. She didn't mind the holiday part, she was glad to see her people enjoying themselves and celebrating each other's company. But it was all made to be about her, people were obliged to come up to her and wish her health and fortune and bow before her. Rich benefactors from across the isles sent gifts and riches all to sleaze their way into her good graces. Occasionally even asking for her hand in marriage. She scoffed everytime. She just threw the presents away. It all made her feel so uncomfortable. She'd usually manage to stomach it all with Silver at her side to distract her. But Silver was unfortunately busy, away in some distant timeline stopping five different timestreams from colliding into each other, whatever that meant. The day dragged on, it was the longest day of her life, quite literally as Blaze was born on the longest day of summer. But eventually, she was let go and ventured back to her bed chambers, exhausted, all that was on her mind was the softness of her bed and a good night's sleep. But a different type of softness met her as she opened the door to her room.

A quilled figure framed against moonlight, with their fur shimmering beautifully stood in her room. Silver had returned, and barely in one piece. She quickly rushed to him, cupping his face in her hands as she looked over him. A plaster across his nose. A scar running across his lips. A black eye, he could barely open. His whole body covered in bandages, cuts and bruises everywhere. He was even missing a tooth on his upper right side! Blaze was horrified. But Silver just smiled sheepishly, fully presenting his missing tooth. "Happy Birthday, Blazey." He said deep and low, almost a murmur, the feline noticed a bruise around his neck.

"Silvy, by The Sol Emeralds what happened to you?!"

"I'm not too late am I? For your birthday? I'd feel horrible if I was." He seemingly ignored the question. "I tried to get back sooner, but the chronometre in my suit must've malfunctioned in the quantum storm, I lost the track of time, literally, ha ha." He laughed as he realised he accidently made a pun.

"No, what happened to you, you're hurt! Who hurt y- Are those arrows sticking out of your back?!" Yes they were.

"Oh, yeah, that last sun-eater came out of nowhere. Anyways," He remarked non-chalontly, "I got you something." Only then did Blaze realise Silver was holding a long white box in his hands. He brought her a present.

"Silver, you-- you didn't have to. Just set it aside and let me look you over." She began to drag him by his shoulders towards her bed.

"Please, at least open it first, I worked really hard on it." She turned back to face him. His face was still smiling sheepishly. It set her heart a flutter, for a split second her irises lit up in a fiery orange glow before being subdued by Blaze's willpower.

She gently took hold of the rectangular lid of the box and lifted it. Inside the box, laying on a golden silk pillow, was a rose. But not like any kind of rose Blaze had ever seen. It was beautiful. She stared at it a moment. "Can I?" What was she asking, of course she could, it was her present. Silver nodded happily. Blaze carefully took the rose by the stem and brought it closer to her face, she twirled it, examining it from all angles. She was mesmerised. In all honesty Blaze couldn't quite comprehend what she was seeing. The stem of the rose was a dark purple with crytaline thorns at its sides. The petals were as if she was looking out into outerspace through a telescope. They were moving, something was moving, and shimmering. The closest thing she could have compared it to was a nebula, the reminants of a supernova, like The Pillars of Creation, which she only saw in her study books when she was younger. The petals looked almost like glass, like a window through which she was viewing the nebula. But there was something else moving. Little specks of dust circling around the petals. Their movements choreographed as they followed the path of thin circles surrounding the flower. Blaze squinted. She looked closer. And she was shocked at what she saw! They were orbital cycles! And those weren't specks of dust, or pollen, they were planets! Blaze pulled back. She was holding a solar system in her hands.

"Do you like it? It's a replica of our solar system."

"It's beautiful, Silver. But how-"

"Well, remember when I said I was cultivating a garden at the end of time? It's one of those! It's what I've been working on for the past few... wwwweeks? Time is funny sometimes. I know you don't like presents or your birthday, but it just felt wrong not celebrating it. You're the most important person in my life. I feel like I always have to show you how much I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I was going to get you something small, because I know you don't like big gifts, but when I get started and I get an idea, you know, I give it 110%. And I thought, hey, you like to help me out in the garden sometimes so maybe-- I'm rambling, sorry. Point: it's a new breed of rose..." His markings began to light up, his equivalent of a blush, "I was going to call it The Blaze. But that might be too... sappy."

She simply smiled and softly nudged him with her shoulder, "I think that's what you excell at." Her golden eyes returned to the flower, "Honestly, Silver, you do too much." She said with a giddy smile.

Silver's own smile disappeared for a moment as his mind flashed to a dream he half remembered, a nightmare that haunted him for years now, it was so vivid and realistic, like a memory of something he once lived. But it couldn't be. Fire. Ruin. Her leaving him. An ultimate sacrifice. "... I feel like I don't do enough." The joy in his eyes dulled and his head bowed down, looking at the floor. Another intrusive thought. He hated those. Maybe his pills were wearing off, he should've probably taken some more by now. He forgot again. Idiot. Idiot.

A soft yet strong hand lifted his chin up, her thumb running across the scar on his lips. She made sure their eyes locked again.

She spoke softly and husky, the way he liked, "Thank you, Silvy."

He shook a little. But he musttered up the strength to respond, "Thank you, for giving me a life worth coming back to."

"Alright, alright, you're using hyperbole again. You know I can't take complements. Let's get you looked at, and... let's get those arrows out of you. And I'll find a nice vace for this rose."

"Thank you, Blaze, I mean it."

"I know. Well, to let you know, no, you're not late, it's 11:52. It's still my birthday. And it's alright if you did miss it, I know you're busy too. Though it is nice to have you back so soon. I hate it when you leave for months on end. I always worry, that you might get lost out there, that you won't find your way back to me. "

"Aww, but, I'll always come back to you, Jalapeno." He remarked cutely. Blaze immediately turned away from him and began to drag him to the bed again. She had a first aid kit in her nightstand, that was just her life. That pet name. It drove her crazy. So stupid. So naive. It filled her with embarrassment, her body heat skyrocketing, her willpower barely holding back the flames from bursting from her fur. Yet she never told him to stop calling her that. If anyone else ever dared to call her that they'd be dead in seconds. But hearing that come from him... She'd allow it. "Ugh, shut up, and sit down. You're so naive."

[mjmenvs3000w24]

Blog 3: Privilege in Nature

My experiences as a white, conventionally attractive female raised in midtown Toronto have most definitely influenced my understanding of nature. For me, privilege is an immunity that is placed upon people, including me, providing them with advantages and opportunities that others may not receive, even if both are equally qualified. 

Growing up in a community rich in greenery and city-maintained parks has afforded me the luxury of easy access to the natural world. I think that having parks and other recreational spaces close by has helped me develop a stronger bond with the environment. In elementary school, we would take a 3-minute walk to the park behind the school. There was an assortment of greenery, a wading pool, washrooms and a play structure. It's possible that I would have had more chances to go outside, engage in outdoor activities in a clean, safe environment, and truly come to appreciate how beautiful the natural world is.

Woburn Avenue Park from Google Images

My understanding of nature is also influenced by my identity as a white woman. Since women have historically had difficulty accessing and being educated on natural areas, acknowledging this part of my identity helps me to appreciate the special perspective that nature has given me. Similarly, I admit that, as a white person, my race has protected me from the challenges that people of colour face in outdoor, public settings. Women of colour, especially, have to unfortunately be more cautious about being in a large, vulnerable place, such as a forest. Privilege would also greatly influence someone's ability to feel safe enough to appreciate nature.  This knowledge is essential in comprehending the various perspectives that influence how we interpret nature.

The privilege of attending university emphasizes the significant impact of financial advantages on the goal of learning. For those who are less fortunate, without a scholarship or financial support, the dream of attending university may pose a great challenge. Especially on the topic of nature, to be given a shot at a career opportunity, a degree is the bare minimum. The link between a university degree and career opportunities creates a classist barrier, continuing the cycle where financial constraints limit access to quality education and well-paying jobs. In my case, the privilege of attending Guelph allows me to explore my passion for learning science without the burden of overwhelming debt, affording me the freedom to fully engage in my future academic pursuits that will enhance my understanding of the natural world. 

But it's crucial to understand that luxury can sometimes result in blind spots. It's possible that because I'm used to certain benefits, I'm less conscious of the difficulties that those without such advantages deal with. It is important to acknowledge my ignorance in order to guarantee a more inclusive view of nature.

I want to navigate my interactions with nature with the awareness of my privilege and as a chance to promote diversity. Acknowledging the benefits I have received enables me to actively seek out different points of view, making sure that my perception of the environment stays open and inviting to people with various experiences and backgrounds. I aim to contribute to a more inclusive perspective of our natural world, one that celebrates diversity and its richness as I continue to interact with it.

Image of Mallorca, Spain taken by me

[dykepuffs]

I hate seeing "TAROT TIPS" posts because they all seem to assume that there is one tarot tradition, which is practised by people who all have the same relationship to tarot as each other.

But a Wiccan who believes in the God and Goddess, and a Spiritualist who believes that the cards are presented to them by their Guiding Spirit, and a Christian Hermit who meditates using the cards as a map, all are doing different things as they lay out a spread (just as the client of a dukkerer, a fortune teller, a mystic tarot reader and a sage may all want and expect different things from their reading)

If you come from a tradition that's more concerned with the psychological and using the tarot as a tool for self-reflection and discovery you might laugh and dismiss the ignorance of someone who says that the Knight of Swords means you'll meet a bachelor with dark hair and hazel eyes - But if you're from a fortune telling tradition you might in turn raise an eyebrow when someone insists that the same Knight means that you are a knowledge-seeker who looks before you leap, and nothing about what will happen afterwards.

Likewise, traditions that insist on cleansing the cards and specific ways of storing them and speaking to them, compared to ones which say that the cards need to stay un-cleansed to pick up more of your vibration... And then the ones that say they're just paper, they deserve no more or less ritual treatment than a coffee cup or a pencil.

But "Tarot Tips" posts always seem to be the most random hodgepodge of things that work for the individual that wrote them, almost always written by someone who doesn’t acknowledge that each item on their list comes from a different spiritual and cultural background, and doesn’t even tip their hat to mention them.

TLDR: Tumblr how do I filter down that I want to see Tarot but only from people who practise in half a dozen concrete traditions, I don't want to see Pick A Piles with barnum statements about Your Future Spouse, I don't want to see Which Crystals Charge Your Deck, I want to see essays about how French mystics incorporated folk beliefs into their practise in the 1700s, or how the HOGD interpreted different cards and how that relates to Masonic levels, or how Showmen fortune telling relates to Romany ones, or how early the modern meanings of the cards became settled... Including, people talking about where modern fortune telling traditions like charging and cleansing and crystals came from and how they became "the norm".

[janaelshamashergi]

Assignment 1

Khalik Allah’s photography is mainly portrait photography, as he focuses on photographing the less privileged people who are not usually given the basic recognition that humans need and are overlooked by almost everyone. Moreover, the genre of photography that Allah photographs is portrait photography, as according to Arts Institutes, the aim of portrait photography is to capture the character of a certain person or group of people ( Schumacher, 2018). He focuses on photographing the Five-Percent Nation, which is a movement that represents five percent of the population who are overlooked and need to be recognized by the rest of the world (n.d.).

He means to extend the light into peoples’ lives by photographing them for the world to see and not ignore them like they usually would. Furthermore, his intention is to help recognize them as members of society and for people to be able to see them from his perspective. Allah’s photographs help people establish a deeper connection with people who are overlooked,  which helps them in gaining the recognition they deserve. I agree that photography can add more light to people's lives since it provides a different method for educating people about subjects they may not have previously considered. Moreover, since they are easier to understand than other forms of communication, photographs are a more efficient way to educate people.

 Khalik argues that acquiring wisdom involves walking the streets with a camera and taking pictures of the things that present themselves. Additionally, he broadens his knowledge and self-understanding through engaging in street photography. Learning and development are the core of the whole process. People can learn more and become more knowledgeable about many different subjects by looking at photos.Khalik wanted people to know that people from less privileged backgrounds also have lives and feelings.

According to Khalik, the purpose of photography is to raise awareness of individuals who are less fortunate while also shedding light on their circumstances and the struggles they face. Additionally, it serves to raise awareness of the fact that those who are less fortunate should be treated with the same respect and courtesy as everyone else. Khalik also views photography as a tool for educating and informing people, not merely as a form of art.

 Yes, I agree that his style of photography promotes understanding since the images have great depth. Additionally, the participants' moods in each portrait depict people with various personalities, demonstrating that they are not different from those in other, wealthier locations. Additionally, the dark backgrounds throughout all of the images show that these people are all struggling to survive in the same awful circumstances. Khalik's portraits frequently use dark backdrops with people showing a variety of emotions, which mainly aid in bringing out an idea of the enlightenment of black people in particular. Furthermore, it demonstrates that their reality remains the same despite their best efforts in improving their quality of life. His photos contribute to eliminating the myth that black individuals in Harlem are not deserving of respect and recognition.

References

A. A. P. (n.d.). Khalik Allah. In All About Photo. https://www.all-about-photo.com/photographers/photographer/1285/khalik-allah

KHALIK ALLAH. (n.d.). In KHALIK ALLAH. 

7 Types of Photography Styles to Master. (2018, November 23). In 7 Types of Photography Styles to Master. https://www.artinstitutes.edu/about/blog/38780-v2-7-types-of-photography-styles-to-master

Papaspyropoulos, S. (2014, March 28). Street Photo of the week “Untitled” by Khalik Allah. In Street Hunters. https://www.streethunters.net/blog/2014/03/28/khalik-allah-street-photo/

Juxtapoz Magazine - Khalik Allah: Showing Us the Light. (n.d.). In Juxtapoz Magazine - Khalik Allah: Showing Us the Light. https://www.juxtapoz.com/news/photography/khalik-allah-showing-us-the-light/