#the only novel i've yet to finish (in order) is the last one

[mxtxfanatic]

Spooky Month Recs

To give folks some time to get through at least one novel, here's a list of Halloween-appropriate novels regardless of whether I have or have not (yet) rec'd them before:

Mist

Kaleidoscope of Death

Death Spiral

Fantasy Farm

Carrying a Lantern in Daylight

Global Examination

After An Infinite Flow Player Retires

[bloody-wonder]

mid-year book tag

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2024? i have read so many good ones this year but no particular one stands out to me as The Best so i'll name top 5 instead (in the order i read them in): a thousand stitches, doctrine of labyrinths, in other lands, big swiss, my brilliant friend - so, quite a range of genres and tones, as usual :)

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2024? the virtu is definitely my favorite part of doctrine of labyrinths and the tropic of serpents, the second book in the memoirs of lady trent, was just a perfect historical fantasy adventure novel - it's like if jane austen wrote indiana jones except it's also a nature documentary about dragons. last but not least, empire of the damned which came out in march solidified jay kristoff's empire of the vampire as my favorite vampire book series. you might have heard me screaming about it from the rooftops. all three of these sequels, i find, are even better than the previous book in their respective series.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? i'm saving kj charles' death in the spires for the fall since it's a spooky campus murder mystery (i think?) and i also want to read apostles of mercy and so finish lindsay ellis' sci fi series (which i have lost interest in somewhat tbh but i'm nothing if not a completionist lol). i was curious about the familiar but the reviews i've seen don't look too promising so i'm probably not going to prioritize it.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2024? i'm looking forward to kj charles' new romance book, the duke at hazard, as well as the new evander mills mystery, rough pages, but the piece of fiction i'm anticipating the most is actually the radioapple southern gothic au by my favorite fanfic author reminiscentbells. she's going to write the whole thing this summer and start posting in september - i'm so excitedddd😱

5. Biggest Disappointment? emily wilde's encyclopaedia of faeries is the book equivalent of a ghoul wearing the skin of your beloved. i wasn't a fan of a deadly education either😒 was very excited to read gaywyck but the expectations of "jane eyre but gay" which the cover of that book gave me were unfortunately not met🤷‍♀️

6. Biggest Surprise? i didn't think i might be into extreme horror and neither did i fancy myself a sally rooney girlie so i was quite surprised that i liked her conversations with friends as well as the sluts by dennis cooper. will definitely read more from both authors next year. an even bigger surprise however was solitaire which i picked up on a whim after tori came out as ace in the last heartstopper volume. i have a complicated relationship with alice oseman's books mostly due to the fact that i'm years past the target demographic age but still feel compelled to read them bc it seems they're the only mainstream books with prominent aro/ace rep out there. so i didn't expect much and was astonished to discover that tori spring is like looking at a mirror reflection of my 18yo self - uncanny in a fun way. ig i shouldn't be so surprised this turned out to be my favorite oseman book since it's the one with the most mixed reviews lol people like to hate a depressed teenage girl😬

7. Favorite New Author? i have devoured doctrine of labyrinths and the cemeteries of amalo in february so now i can safely say sarah monette aka katherine addison is one of my favorite authors. each of her series has a different tone but there are consistent themes of real or magical disability and non amatonormative relationships which are explored in creative ways throughout her stories. i also like her worldbuilding quite a bit, especially the naming systems and fantasy terminology. i read more books by celeste ng as well as by vale aida - both are likely to become favorite authors too. in the latter's case - provided she writes a sequel to hostis. if not, i shall never forgive her😅

8. Newest Favorite Character? okay this is just impossible to narrow down! first of all, liathe from empire of the damned bc i want her Gender: wearing a porcelain mask and a splendid crimson coat, formally bowing to her adversaries before she beats the shit out of them with her blood sword, referring to herself by the royal we and hissing every time she speaks - character of all time material right there. behold my beautiful girl who has done nothing wrong!🥰

(official illustrations by bon orthwick)

secondly, elliot schafer bc he's the most obnoxious prickly boy in other lands and yet everyone wants him carnally lol. i adore his internal monologue - probably the best i've read in ya. his dialogue too tbh - his cutting repartee game is off the charts. honestly, he's just my favorite type of character: a mean bisexual gremlin who scolds people so creatively that they fall in love with him on the spot. what more can you ask.

finally, i have to mention that to my great surprise i liked mildmay more than felix harrowgate🤯 idk felix is this cunty traumatized savant which is a character archetype i'm used to liking so it was a safe bet. the opposites attract sidekick or love interest of such a character is usually not my cup of tea but mildmay is the exception that proves the rule ig. mostly it's bc of his unusual manner of speaking with those funny slang turns of phrase and just generally the contrast between his expressive internal monologue and his reserved demeanor. as a result, he easily rivals felix as the most interesting guy in the book. such excellent character work! taking my hat off to monette🎩

9. Newest Fictional Crush? i reserve this question for that special kind of obsession only a very particular character can inspire and this year it's alastor from hazbin hotel. which, i know, is not a book but i have read so much alastor fanfic in the last few months that he's basically like a book character to me at this point lol

💕Best Ship💕 elliot schafer and luke sunborn are very cute. i don't usually go for cute but here we are. especially after reading that short story from luke's pov i realized i just need more of these two together😌 felix and mildmay with their unholy magic bdsm union - need i say more? forbidden ship that watered my crops. last but not least, i'm currently trudging through the realm of the elderings bc of fitz and the fool and as of assassin's quest it finally started paying off: i'm being queerbaited and asking for more🥲

10. Book That Made You Cry? a thousand stitches is such a wholesome cozy book and it made me cry multiple times the way that a nostalgic movie from childhood can make you cry sometimes. especially the pug scene😭 the scenes of thara celehar walking the corn maze in the cemeteries of amalo made me cry a lot too. the symbolic depths addison is able to achieve with the labyrinth motif, the exploration of grief and forgiveness and letting go - unparalleled🤌

11. Book That Made You Happy? a thousand stitches made me happy! especially the pug scene!!😅 honestly it was like watching a disney movie back when they were good except also more relatable bc atwater's characters read neurodivergent and aspec-coded to me. love how she maintains that the kiss of true love that breaks the faerie curse doesn't have to be romantic. re-reading the three musketeers made me very happy too - it's one of my top 10 favorite books of all time and i was kinda nervous i might not like it as much as an adult. well the joke's on me bc now i can confirm it's one of the best books ever written😊 reading in other lands and big swiss cheered me up a lot too bc they're just so damn funney😄

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? haven't seen a lot of adaptations so ig dune part two wins by default. twas a fine movie. the wheel of time is also a nice show in my opinion but i didn't read the source material so idk how good it is adaptation-wise🤷‍♀️

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? my favorite ones are probably the ones i wrote about the three musketeers and in other lands but i think i also wrote some good critical/negative reviews of the mask of mirrors and of the vorkosigan books i read this year (1 2 3)

14. Most Beautiful Cover? behold the cover of the voyage of the basilisk!🤩 i want to frame it and hang it on my wall so that i can gaze at it adoringly and connect with my inner ishmael

(art by todd lockwood)

i also like this vintage romance cover of gaywyck and the uk covers of the farseer trilogy. it's a shame that the books are not as good as the covers led me to believe. especially in the case of gaywyck - this cover is Such A Vibe! but alas

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? in terms of series i want to finish the memoirs of lady trent, read one more witcher book, at least a couple vampire chronicles and then reread swordspoint and hopefully complete that series too. other fantasy i want to get to at last is fire & blood and the hands of the emperor - both are big and intimidating tho. for my classics challenge i need to finish a couple of tomes i'm reading slowly throughout the year and then also read the name of the rose. american psycho and mona awad's bunny have been on my tbr for ages - maybe i'll finally read them this fall. and i also want to finish reading kj charles' backlist bc the completionism drive is stronger than the fear of having no kj charles to read lol

i never do things a normal amount - every time i take up new media i go all in. so i had a musicals phase, a movies phase, a tv show phase - each lasting a few years and then i barely watched any of these once the phase ended. which is why i've been wondering if my current Book Phase is about to wrap up soon but, given how many books i managed to read since january, it sure doesn't seem that way. instead, it feels like the more i read the better i am at finding books that i'm likely to enjoy - which leads to more reading. and i cannot complain about that tbh😁📚

tagging @magpiefngrl @doh-rae-me @oliviermiraarmstrongs @fugitoidkry @pinkasrenzo @counterwiddershins @figuringthengsout @sugarbabywenkexing @fandomreferencepending @venndaai @weirdsociology @sixappleseeds @theodoradove

please tell me what you've been reading this year (if you want)! one can't have too many book recs👀

goodreads │ old mid year tags 2020 2021 2022 2023

[kitsaystransrights]

It'sa me, Kit!

Woah, hey, you can make pinned posts! I totally didn't forget about this feature. I should probably do that, huh?

Weeeeell anyway, howdy! I'm Maddie, I go by Kit online sometimes, you can call me whichever you prefer. She/Her pronouns only, please. I'm a 22 year-old trans furry who is chronically online and geeky, so if you have a problem with that, I'm putting you in a box and then launching that box into the sun. I'm a YouTuber, Twitch streamer, filmmaker, and game dev, so I'm basically every stereotypical geeky trans-girl thing except for an artist. Can't draw to save my life.

On my YouTube, I usually make reviews or video essays about games I like, though I occasionally do stuff on other media as well. Currently, my big long-term projects are the "Splatoon 3 vs Splatoon 2" series, which is AAAAALMOST finished at the time of writing this, and my series on Leilani Wilson's Elancia Chronicles novels, (which are REALLY FREAKING GOOD and you should check them out!) I've linked a few of the videos I'm proudest of down below :)

I also stream pretty frequently on Twitch! I have a PNGtuber of my fursona, Stormy, with art done by EmmalemmaMewmew on Twitter. Stills of her will also start showing up in my YouTube videos eventually, hehe. Currently, the schedule is every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, with each day being a different game. These streams always start at 7 PM Mountain Time (that's 9 PM Eastern and 6 PM Pacific) and go for around 4 hours. Sundays are Splatoon Sundays, currently the Anarchy Challenge, where I attempt to win an Anarchy Series with EVERY SINGLE WEAPON in Splatoon 3. It's hell lol. Then there's Triple-A Tuesdays, where I'm currently marathoning the Zelda series, and Indie Thursdays, where I work through my back catalog of indie games! There are also occasional bonus streams, usually around the releases of new games I'm interested in or events in ones I already play (like Splatfests!) Below is a link to my Twitch channel and my current stream schedule. I'll try to update this post as often as I can, but uh, no promises haha.

Last but not least, here's some of the other stuff I'm into/working on! Currently working on a Secret Game Project that I can't tell you about yet >:) But if you know, you know.

I'm a big fan of video games and animation (clearly), with some of my favorite stuff being, in no particular order... Sonic the Hedgehog, The Legend of Zelda, Persona, Fire Emblem, Pokemon, Elancia Chronicles, Super Lesbian Animal RPG, Splatoon, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, Amphibia, Steven Universe, Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Spider-Verse films, Dreamworks animation, Pixar animation, Insomniac's Spider-Man gams, Ratchet and Clank, aaaaaaaaaand that's all I could think of off the top of my head but I'm sure there's more junk buried in there somewhere lol.

Anyway, thanks for reading all the way to the bottom! You must really have nothing better to do with your life XD. Here's some links to my other socials, if you wanna follow me there. Here I'm mostly just be posting random rambling and updates for my YouTube and Twitch. See ya around!

https://www.instagram.com/kitthegoddess/

[sky-kenobye]

13 books

What’s up readers?! How about a little show and tell? Answer these 13 questions, tag 13 lucky readers and if you’re feeling extra bookish add a shelfie! Let’s Go!

Thanks @willameena for the tag! :D

1) The Last book I read:

Idk if it counts since it's a graphic novel but the last thing I read was Bolchoi Arena, by Boulet and Aseyn. It's a sort of Ready Player One universe (less dystopic i think though). I really like it, but I'm waiting for the fourth volume to come out and there isn't a release date yet 😭

(I don't think there's an English translation (yet) so i can only recommend it if you speak french, sorry)

2) A book I recommend:

Iron Widow, by Xiran Jay Zhao. LOVED IT! I'm bad at recommending stuff but: big monsters, pacific rim style machines to fight the monsters, polyamory, ruthless woman, plot twists... So cool!

Also Loveless, by Alice Oseman, because it's about aromanticism and asexuality which is almost non-existent in... any media really, and that book is very dear to me.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

All the ones I really like x) I struggle a lot with putting down a book once I'm into it. The first advice to fall asleep easier is always 'don't use your phone before bed, read a book instead!' but if I do that I won't even try to sleep, I'll just keep reading all night...

But I guess the one that I was the most surprised about not being able to put down is The Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follet. I'm not particularly into historical books, and that's a huge book around the building of a cathedral, so I was a bit skeptical, but damn, it was great! It's over 1000 pages and I still managed to read it in less than a week while on a school trip.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

So many of my childhood books. I almost spent more time re-reading my favorite stuff than reading new books lol. I think the ones I've re-read the most are Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and La Quête d'Ewilan.

5) A book on my TBR:

So many. Soooo many. I keep buying books even though I don't read them, help.

I'll go with the Wayfarers series by Becky Chambers because I really want to read them, people keep recommending them, I have them (in a really cool edition), I can literally see them in my bookshelf right now, and yet I don't read them for some reason 🤷

6) A book I’ve put down:

Also a lot. If I manage to put a book down I can forget it exists in a couple of days, even if i loved it, and weeks later I'm like "oh shit, I never finished that book".

One of the few that I put down more or less on purpose is Silo, by Hugh Howey. I'm pretty sure I would like it if I kept reading but something happens only a few chapters in that put me off and kind of annoyed me so I never read the rest.

7) A book on my wish list:

Revenge of the Sith! And many other star wars books. The reason why I still don't have it is that I want it in english so I have to order it online from the UK probably, and between the shipping and the taxes from being from outside the EU (sometimes there are taxes, sometimes not, i don't understand how it works)(one time I had to pay taxes on my own clothes that I sent myself from the UK to France 😭😭 I'm still mad about it) it'll end up being way more expensive than it should, so I'm putting it off x) I looked for it when I was in scotland but they didn't have it :(

8) A favorite book from childhood:

The ones I mentioned in 4) were my all time fav, I can't think of any other right now even though I used to read a lot more books than i do now 🤔

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Honestly I would be so scared they didn't like it that I probably would never give a book to anyone unless they asked for it 😬 (except my family I guess)

Mayyybe a Dan Brown, like The Da Vinci Code? I feel like that would be a pretty safe bet, unless they hate the genre.

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own:

I don't think I have any? I had to read Alcools, by Apollinaire for the baccalauréat (french high school graduation exam) but I think it was my mom's copy and i honestly hated it. According to my teacher it was "cubist poetry" which, what? I was not smart enough to understand any of it, and it wasn't doing it for me.

(Literary analysis is my nemesis, I'm usually pretty smart but when I try to analyse a text it's just *no thoughts, head empty*)

I'm really picky about poetry so I don't really know where to start to read any.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

I don't have many: a few anthologies of queer stories, How to Invent Everything by Ryan North (literally what the title says lmao), Eject! Eject! by John Nichol (about the history of ejection seats, super interesting!), Les Guerres de Lucas by Renaud Roche and Laurent Hopman (a french graphic novel about George Lucas), and Tu mourras moins bête by Marion Montaigne (scientific stuff explained, but make it hilarious, also french comics)

12) What are you currently reading:

Ithaca, by Claire North, but I've barely started.

13) What are you planning on reading next?

No idea! Maybe Iron Flame, maybe The Priory of the Orange Tree, maybe Floating Hotel, maybe finally the Wayfarers series, maybe a random other book, who knows 🤷

If you've read all of that, thank you and congratulations!

Tags: @piecesofeden11 @sendpseuds @kingdomvel @bolshoiromanova @renlyslittlerose @intermundia @desmothene @arobiwan @cottonraincoat @starwalkertales @artbythedarkside @shakeskp @somethingsteff (I tried not to tag people I had seen tagged already)(but no pressure!)

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

An Update on the Status of My A03 Fics!

Hihi! I have no idea if anyone who follows this blog reads any of my fics on AO3, but if you do, then you might like to know what the heck is going on with my fics, and why I haven't posted any updates in over six months.

First of all, I am alive! I wrote a lot of fics in the summer of 2022 when I had just gotten active in a fan server on Discord where there was a lot of encouragement to write fanfiction. In the spring of 2023, I started a medical assistantship course, and in order to keep myself focused in class, I turned off notifications for the server. And then I just kind of...didn't turn them back on???? In my defense, I was intimidated by the amount of time it would take for me to backread everything I missed, and that eventually snowballed into me just no longer looking at that server. I should honestly become active in it again, because it did a lot for my writing productivity. I also have a lot of hobbies both in real life and on my computer, and those take up a lot of my time as well. So that's why I didn't post much last year and haven't posted anything yet this year.

But I want to let you all know, that I do fully intend to complete the fanfics I have already started on AO3, and I do intend to write the sequels I promised a year and a half ago.

So without further ado, here is a status report on the incomplete fics and series I have on my AO3:

How to Live With Fire: One of my most popular fics! I have two sequels planned, and a rough idea of what I want to happen in each of them. Both of them are probably going to be only a few chapters long. The delay on this one is mostly on Part 2, since Part 2 has only the vaguest ideas of what I want to do with it (how Mortarion and Vulkan become a longterm couple, and how their legions react to this change). The trouble with this one is, I haven't read any Salamanders novels, let alone ones that take place during the Horus Heresy. I think I will at least have to read Deathfire for this one. I am praying that I don't have to read Vulkan Lives, since I understand that one has less tasty Salamanders content than I would like, and way more John Grammaticus than I find tasteful. But I will still try Deathfire at the very least, if I can find a physical copy at the library or a used bookstore or something.

A Matter of Trust: Another one that's going to end up being a trilogy. I have figured out what happens, now I just need to read the Plague Wars trilogy, because those events are going to be kind of important to the rest of the plot. Again, I'd like to read physical copies of the books so that I can flip through them easily. I'm going to see if I can find copies of the first two novels through the local libraries. Fingers crossed!

Until the Bitter End: Ohhhh, this one's gonna make me cry...this one is mostly hinging on me rereading The Buried Dagger and taking notes. Much lower barrier for entry for this one, since I've read it so often that I mostly remember where to find the events I'm looking for.

Lantern and the Child: This one is going to have like, a billion chapters. It's going to become episodic for a while, but I'm looking forward to it. In this case, it's a case of figuring out which characters I want to introduce. The idea of it being episodic is kind of exciting for me, because it feels like it will be a fun thing to do, and because it goes along with a writing conceit that my co-creator and I have for this AU, that it's the events of a theoretical (very dark) Pokemon anime.

This Once Nearly Was Mine: This one should literally be the easiest one to complete, I am ashamed that I haven't finished it. There's only one chapter left, and I don't even have to come up with all of the events. Again, this one is going to dip into Horus Heresy events that I haven't actually read, but I think I've heard enough from osmosis that I can skip most of it. I just need to, y'know, actually sit down and fucking write it.

Deep's Embrace: I've got an outline! And I've even got some scenes written out! As I type this post, I am preparing to submit chapter 2. I'm having a lot of fun with this fic, as you could probably all tell.

Anyway, that's basically it for now. If you have any questions, please let me know! And if you have any friends who you know enjoy my fics but aren't following me or aren't on Tumblr, please link them to this post so that they know just what the hell is going on with me.

[hayleylovesjessica]

As a reader, I've set the goal of reading every novel that Dickens wrote. I think it's a realistic goal, but achieving it will have to involve getting through one novel per year into my late 50s, given that I've read only four of the 15 major novels so far (in the order in which I read them, Great Expectations, Nicholas Nickleby, Bleak House, and A Tale of Two Cities -- I gave up on Our Mutual Friend last year because I hadn't yet bought reading glasses and I really needed them to deal with the tiny fucking print in my Penguin Classics copy of the novel; now that I have reading glasses, I'll restart Our Mutual Friend next year). Given how late in the year it is now, I started one of his shorter novels, Hard Times, a few days ago. I'm into it, but I've been so swamped with work the last couple days that I haven't been able to pick it up again. I was going to read more tonight, but I just finished a work task, and now, a bitch is tired. I think I'm going to go to bed, get up around 6:30 am, knock out another work task, and then do a bit more reading in the novel before going out to see Queer at 11 am.

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Thank you sm @itwoodbeprefect for the tag!!!

I hardly published anything this year so if u wanna skip to 'projects for 2024' that's gonna be the most interesting bit >.<

Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 714 💀 but many more words were written, just not posted lol fics posted: 1 first fic/last fic 😅: King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963)

Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Doctor Who - no ships really but KotE is Mike Yates-centric.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

It's KotE again lol which is at 6 kudos. Of all time, tho:

After the Hour(glass) - Night at the Museum (Jedtavius)

Less Than Ideal Circumstances - The Man from UNCLE (TV) (Napollya)

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV)

Dismiss Your Fears - Back to the Future

After All, I'm Only Sleeping - Doctor Who (1963)

Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

KotE......... I do actually rly enjoy KotE I think it has potential in terms of where it's going. But since I only posted one fic in 2023, I'll do my top 5 of fics I've ever posted. Apart from the first one this is in no particular order

tickertape - The A-Team (TV) it's my baby it's all I thought about for months of my life, it's like an iceberg (i.e. most of it is in my WIP doc, and only a tiny fraction is published so far), it got me thru a difficult time, it's an exploration of mental illness and complicated messy relationships expressed in epic format (i.e. it's probably gonna be novel length when it's done)

Bullet Number Six - Starsky & Hutch (TV) it received criticism for being obscure and hard to follow bc it switches pov briefly halfway thru but idc i love it anyway

I Gotta Right to Sing the Blues - The A-Team (TV) it was my first A-Team fic and I still think for a beginner it nailed some p realistic in-character dialogue and addressed an undertone I wished I'd seen addressed in the ep it's a coda to.

When They Sleep - The Man from UNCLE (TV) it's kind of riddled with certain mannerisms of my slightly older writing which I personally find a bit annoying and have worked to iron out for the sake of elegance over the years. but I still think it's a cool little exploration of all my sleep headcanons for the pair of them in one place

King of the Eyesores - Doctor Who (1963) see it made it to the list after all! I kinda like it more for its potential than for what it is right now butttttt who cares.

special mention to Unbereft (Starsky & Hutch) which I really really like but I wrote it in one frenzied sitting and only remembered after I'd posted it that it was very like someone else's fic I'd read several years previously. I don't think it's too much like to be taken down and I've since mentioned the writer of the other fic (it was dawnwind, hello!) in the notes. that's the only reason unbereft isn't in my top 5 because I'm otherwise really proud of how well it's written. Not to tootle on my own trumpet.

Fandom fic events

none RIP but maybe this year!!

Projects for 2024

Okay here we goooooooooooo

priority 1 is to finish the unfinished works that I've already half posted: King of the Eyesores, Every Line A Comedy, OUTATIME, The Windhover, tickertape, The Hanoi Bank Job and Other Misadventures, 38 Hours. Bolded are my top priorities.

other works that I'm writing but which haven't seen the light of day at all yet:

Dear Mike - an epistolary between Jo Grant and Mike Yates following her marriage to Cliff Jones.

The Lark/Behind That Locked Door (working titles) - a 30-chapter 2/Jamie fic about season 6B in which Jamie suffers permanent memory problems after the War Games. It explores grief, social ostracism, feeling abandoned, undirected anger, guilt, and acceptance that healing sometimes is a process that is never complete. I've been working on it since about 2016 lol but I'm lazy I just need to press on.

hell valley au - as yet untitled lol. In which the Hell Valley!Marty (who is never seen in BTTF2 as he is in Switzerland) and Hell Valley!Doc (who has been institutionalized) break out of their respective situations and go on the run together. But there's a problem - they had to leave Einstein behind, and when they get information that Einie is to be used for a dogfight, they make the risky decision to go back to Hill Valley to rescue him. However, going back to the place they just escaped by the skin of their teeth also brings them face to face with the last person they expect to meet.

a changed man (working title) - a Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) fic from Jeannie's pov. mostly it's about their picnic excursions but it's also about Jeannie wishing Marty wasn't such an elephant in the room

mfu/rahd xover (untitled) - the first chapter of this is almost ready to go tbh. it's what it says on the tin lol, Napoleon and Illya go to London and get help from a rather eccentric private detective who has uncanny powers of solving impossible cases but also they think is probably clinically insane

to see him happy - VERY weird rahd fic. it's smut but its also about grief. might never post it because several of my family members have access to my tumblr and therefore my ao3 lol they dont need to see that

the winter of '62 - a study of jeff and marty's life when they lived together in a grotty bedsit and couldnt afford to put the heating on

star wars (untitled) - set during ROTJ, han pov. han's lost a lot of time and now everyone is one step ahead of him which isn't a sensation he's used to

skyrissian - what it says on the tin lol

the older gen (untitled) - jeeves fic about bertie's aunts and uncles and parents as they were as they variously grew up, got married, had children, died (or didn't), fell prey to alcoholism or insanity or petty crime, went to war, prospered (or didn't)... This is pretty unlikely to be finished this year tbh as it's very detailed but I can dream

a couple of long form fics about starsky & hutch and mfu respectively (the s&h one is set post sweet revenge, the mfu one takes place at various moments throughout the show)

x-files series - canon compliant until paperclip and then gradually diverges into how i think the show should have gone lol. another biggie

and a handful of tintin fics that im protective of and might never post but we'll see - one where tintin and chang go on holiday in london after picaros, one where the gang encounters rajaijah one last time (featuring a letter from didi, chang making a very daring crossing at the songolese border, and tintin taking about ten years to chop up a clove of garlic), and one where tintin gets shitfaced at an embassy ball and accidentally starts an Incident. haddock looks on, appalled.

i knoooooooooooooooowww this is a lot but i'm not realistically hoping to finish it all this year but it's nice to have lots of things to play around with lol.

unfortunately i have the eternal problem of not ever knowing which of my mutuals write fic and which of those havent already been tagged but imma tag @theteaisaddictive and genuinely if u see this and u write fic ur tagged i want to knowwwwwwwwwwwww <333

[idkwidatp]

Hi welcome to my introduction because I realized I haven't done that yet

Shows books video games YouTubers and movies I enjoy:

• 911

• 911 lonestar

• Sk8 the infinity (anime only)

• Sanders sides

• My hero academia (anime only)

• Haikyuu (anime only, I have not finished season 4 or seen any of the movies)

• Steven universe

• Heartstopper (show only)

• ugly betty

• Star vs the forces of evil (I've seen the whole show but didn't remember a lot of it so I rewatched it but I haven't rewatched the last two-three episodes)

• She-ra

• Empire records

• Hamilton

• Heathers (movie and musical)

• Six the musical

• The owl House (I FINALLY finished it)

• One topic at a time

• The click

• over the garden wall (the show not the graphic novels)

• Coraline (I haven't really read the book but I do have an idea as to what happens compared to the movie)

• The corpse bride (I've only seen it once because it got taken off of max)

• Avatar (I watched like the first two episodes and then skipped to season 3 because I love toph and I don't think I actually finished it)

• Jaiden animations

• Coffee talk episodes one and two

• Animal crossing (only new horizons)

• Pokemon shield and violet (I have absolutely no clue as to what the fuck I'm doing in either but especially violet)

• Mom (as in the TV show)

• Melissa and Rick by Alex gino (I need more people to read these books)

• Friends

• Mike and Molly

• Everybody loves Raymond

• Benny & joon

• Office space

• Overboard

• Opal by Jack stauber

• Shop: a pop opera

• Funkyfrogbait

• Law and order SVU (I've seen all of season 16 and like half of season 21 and most of if not all of season 24 and random episodes that have celebrities I like in them like the one with Billy porter (that is my favorite episode))

• Gravity falls

• bungo stray dogs

• Yuri on ice

• saski and miyano

• dead end paranormal Park

• assassination classroom

• demon slayer (I haven't watched season 4 yet)

Dni:

• Homophobes

• Transphobes

• Racists

• Abelist people

• anti furries

• Anti therians

• Anti semitic people

• people that are pro Israeli

Other things I enjoy:

• Mushrooms (I want to learn more about them)

• Frogs (they're so freaking cool and I want to learn more about them)

• Astronomy (once again I want to learn more about it)

• Psychology (for the millionth time I want to learn more about it) (the main way that I learn about psychology is through Sanders sides)

[vergess]

What's covered by "prose editing"? Do you mean editor's services for articles and original work, SPAG for school work, beta-reading fanfiction, workshopping shitposts, what kind of services are we talking here?

I've edited for each of those media (primary and secondary school; fandom; shitposting), as well as the following:

Technical manuals (Chicago and Microsoft styles)

Newspapers, including strict character limits (AP style)

Copy and editing for research journal submissions (style provided by journal)

Print and digital magazines (style provided by publisher)

University level creative writing composition for short stories and novellas

Novel editing for slush submissions and indie publishing

The specific skills I have on offer include:

Spelling, punctuation and grammar (English-US and English-UK)

Developmental and structural edits

Content editing only for styles or fandoms with which I am already familiar, or for which a style guide is provided.

Redlining and line edits, with fact checks only for non-technical writing

Proofing, including print and digital proofing

Now, for readers who stared at "SPAG" for a second like "wtf does that even mean," here's some extra clarification on what those services are.

SPAG (spelling, punctuation, and grammar) is the most basic type of editing. It can usually be done by a computer automatically, though MS Word's grammar checker is notoriously bad.

Developmental edits are focused on helping the author decide their audience, conform to or break genre expectations, and develop the broad order of story elements.

Structural edits are focused on achieving the goals from development as effectively as possible. In fiction, this is the point at which cuts tend to start, with smaller characters being merged into single, more prominent characters. In technical writing, this is the point at which you determine things like the order in which data will be presented, what needs to be in the introduction rather than methodologies, etc. For writing manuals and documentation, this is the point at which you determine the specific categories and organization you will be using.

Content edits are what most people think of when they think "editor." This is the point at which the finished draft has been organized to the author's satisfaction, and the editor proceeds to go through it looking for style and factual errors. A style error varies based on the medium: something correct for a software manual in MSWG would be wildly wrong for a school essay in MLA or for a fanfic about Supernatural.

I consider informal manuals like Britpickers' Guides to be sufficient for most things in fandom, so if you have anything like that, then I'm happy to do content edits for unfamiliar fandoms too. However, if I am not familiar with a fandoms' canon, I cannot fact check the piece for canon compliance.

Line edits are sometimes called "punch ups" or "redlining." It is not related to the art technique or financial racism law. Line edit is the more common name. This is the point at which an editor goes line by line or paragraph by paragraph through a completed piece to adjust phrasing for maximum impact. If you've never seen a redline for text, here's an example of a redline I did last year:

None still living know what once sat where Refinement now rises from the Bismuth sea. > None alive yet know what once sat where Refinement rises from the Bismuth Sea. Rumors and speculation abound, but the one accepted fact is that the city sprang from the singular will and vision of one woman: the Founder. > Rumors abound, but only one truth is known universally: the city sprang from the will and vision of their singular Founder. No other figure in Refinement commands the same admiration and reverence. > No other figure in Refinement’s history commands more admiration and reverence. Though her name, age, and even species are argued over to this day, some details of her origins and mastery of the stuff of the Bismuth Sea are yet agreed upon. > Her name, age, and even species are as lost as whatever came before the city. Two pale shadows of her legacy remain: the myth of her origin, and the legend of her mastery over the chaotic tides of the Bismuth Sea.

Proofing is the last possible stage in editing, and occurs immediately before printing (traditional media) or publication (digital media). It's your opportunity to double check the piece for minor typos you missed before.

For print media in particular, it's extremely important to proof thoroughly. Once the book is printed, it cannot be changed. And worse, the process of composing a draft into a printable format can introduce errors, with hanging words on blank pages, or words cut off entirely!

For digital media, this is a less mission critical stage, as you can always correct the piece after it is live. There are two major exceptions to this: news writing, and school work. In both these cases, because the damage done by incorrect proofing is high and the opportunity to issue a correction is low, you should always proof schoolwork and news, even if it is submitted/published digitally.

So!

That's all of the editorial services I can offer!

Honestly, seeing it laid out like this, I think $10/1k words is a steal.

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Why Do I Feel Uncomfortable, Media Literacy, & The Crime of Opinions

(This is something I've had half-finished in my documents for a couple months now that I decided to try and finish up tonight. Just some thoughts that have been percolating)

...

Recently, I’ve been beginning to pre-film some reactions, that are perhaps more akin to commentary or media analysis videos, of the new live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender. Coming at it as a nostalgic fan of the original animated series, long-time lover of media (television in particular has always been a love of mine), and as someone with a background in many creative areas – From writing (personal screenwriting, WIP novels, fanfic + more), as well as art (digital, traditional, multimedia, ceramics, prop making, etc.), sewing, SFX makeup, practical effects whore (enthusiast), and too much more to list.

But though I’ve only watched and filmed two episodes at the time of writing this, I’ve noticed something; I continually apologize for not loving it. And/or apologize if I am possibly, maybe, by chance, coming off too harshly or negatively.

But why?

The point of a reaction video, of any opinion piece, is just that: opinion.

So why is there this nagging notion of feeling like I should not be ‘negative’?

Or more acutely:

Why do I feel uncomfortable with expressing discontent with a creative work?

To be clear before I go into things, this bit of writing will not be a review of the series as I have not yet finished it (nor has it yet been so egregious that I feel called to DNF it), and cannot thusly have a fully-formed concept of my overall thoughts just yet. Rather, this will be about the question posed above; an examination of myself, the current state of online reactions towards expressed discontent, and an overall rambling, hypothesizing bit of writing on the topics at hand.

…

Firstly, and most obviously, I think some of the feeling stems from the clear signs of hard work put into this particular series. While the overall outcome (thus far) may have failings, it is not the fault of the many talented artisans and creatives employed, and I do not want it to come across as though I am discounting the very good work those folks have done.

Secondly, I feel as though it worthy to mention the dreaded society-as-a-whole aspect of my discomfort. Growing up as a neurodivergent child in the very early 2000s, being ‘ungrateful’ or showing discontent was not often a ticket into being deemed as ‘good’. It was far more often the kind of behavior that landed you on the road to being labeled as ‘difficult’.

With so much of how things ‘worked’ for others being an absolute mystery to me, it’s really no wonder that I, along with many others (especially those who are also neurodivergent and/or AFAB), learned that we should limit our ‘negative’ expressions. That if we do express them, we must be perfectly eloquent, calm, and poised in order to be taken seriously and receive any semblance of the benefit of the doubt.

While a calm, well-thought portrayal of one’s feelings may be generally accepted as good conduct and, obviously, usually the best way to keep the neutral attention of those listening to you, it is of course the expectation, particularly for those raised and socialized as girls/women that are expected, even in distressing circumstances or obviously valid emotional turmoil, to act quietly and calmly in order to be listened to. So the difference of course lies, like with all things, in the context of any given situation.

This quite obviously is touching on the subject of misogyny overall, but as that is both widely discussed and I assume, generally understood by those who’d click on this post, I do not feel the need to delve into that particular wormy can – other than pointing out the intersection of being unaware and unable to control who exactly will view what you post online – especially an algorithm-based site where one may not even have to be looking for your particular posts.

Thirdly, and the one I feel most interested to discuss here, is the general attitude online – where of course, I intend to eventually post what I have been pre-filming.

I stumbled across a video on YouTube titled “booktok, brainrot, and why it’s okay to be a hater” by alisha not alihsha and it really kickstarted some thoughts I’ve been having for a while, but before we breakdown some of my thoughts here, I also want to mention @/ briana.glynn on TikTok (also @/ briaiswriting on Insta, Threads, and Storygraph).

While I cannot find the first post I saw by them, I remember fondly the way it made me feel – relief. A weight off my shoulders. To read from the page of someone who states their perceptions and opinions as they are: a byproduct of human existence. All well-written and concise – from a point of effort and not obligation (re: the above tangent on societal expectations). The feeling it invoked in me was the starting point of this blogpost in some sense.

Some may feel as though this is a silly topic; but I could not personally disagree more. Media and the arts as a whole have always been humanity’s main though line to self-expression. Art itself can help us understand the world around us, ourselves, and the people who may surround us. Whether by what society may call more ‘innocent’ means, or as an act of rebellion and revolution. The whole of human experience can be witnessed if one had enough time to view all we have made.

Which is precisely why the growing trend of attacking those with opposing opinions is so glaringly concerning. There would be little point in trying to psychoanalyze the root or overall cause of these behaviors within this blogpost, but I know for me, upon self-reflection after my pre-filmed episodes, it is fear.

Fear of being attacked.

Fear of being different.

The internet has allowed people to find those who share similar ideals, ideas, and ways of life (for better or worse), and with that, I think we’re seeing the natural rise to cling onto that initial sense of belonging. From the hyper-specific aesthetics and ‘core’’s, to the echo that might just be ringing in all out ears:

“Why can’t you just let people enjoy things?!”

Tiffany Ferg, along with many others like Mina Le have discussed the topic in their own video essays on the concept of ‘the rising lack of media literacy’.

It would be surprising if anyone with their head up the internet’s ass didn’t know what I meant when I mention ‘the bean soup of it all’.

So where am I going with this, and what do I think it all means?

               In short: I think we’ve created a reactionary, bad-faith, negative feedback loop of assumptions, instead of taking time to think and process what exactly we – meaning internet users as a whole – are consuming, and what is being said.

               To be more elaborative:

The looming presence of cancellation, and the very human fear of being disliked.

I know at this point, most of us are tired of hearing about ‘cancel culture’ (myself included), as well as increasingly aware of it’s overall ineffectiveness as a tool for education and growth. But that weight of being shunned or shamed by online (and sometimes IRL) society can create fear even for those who would never fall into the ‘cancelation’ parameters. To be human is to make mistakes. To learn. It is through our failings and our experiences that we broaden our perspectives and grow throughout our lives – but with something like cancel culture, the threat of being denied growth looms overhead.

And the folly of being human, is that we are bound to royally fuck up at least once in our lives – probably more than once. Perhaps enough times we become unable to keep count. But being uneducated is not a crime; it is the lack of willingness to learn when the opportunity is available, after a gap in one’s knowledge is presented to them by the appropriate parties, that can be the true tell of things.

This is not, of course, to say that it is not sometimes justified to remove the public support of someone voicing harmful opinions out into the world, particularly when they have a wide influence. But rather - well, let me borrow one of my father’s favorite phrases:

“It is not what you do, but the intensity at which you do it.”

Which is really the hard pill of it all, isn’t it? Its not that the show or removal of support is wrong, its that the intensity at which it is often preformed (particularly towards the objectively less severe offences) that ends up removing the opportunity for growth and (genuine) lessons learned in the future of that individual’s life, and creates a vacuum of fear in which we all begin to operate from – some weird sort of digital fight-or-flight.

And one might consider that if any particular individual is educated enough, and eloquent enough, they need not worry. And while to a certain extent that is definitely true, we are unable to know everything. To lack controversial opinions or ‘hot-takes’ is to limit ourselves to a stagnant loop of whatever that culture was when opinions started to be viewed moreso as attacks.

But again – context is important. One (such as me, rn) might say that: Understanding nuance, and that to be human is to contradict oneself, is one of the cornerstones of healthy communication.

If someone is sharing an opinion that is harmful, objectively false/uneducated, and/or targets a marginalized group who are literally only asking to be allowed to live their lives in peace (one may think of JK Rowling and her ‘manifesto’ of sorts as a prime example here), then that is a valid point to condemn one’s actions!

However, someone expressing their personal dislike of a piece of media, is not necessarily an attack on your tastes or you enjoying that thing. Even if the reasons they proport as to why they dislike it are objectively ‘bad’ (in the sense of lacking some fundamental understanding of the media they are consuming) in the end, it does not matter. They are allowed to feel as they will, and if they are a person who has a fundamental misunderstanding of the work, we cannot force them to want to learn. We cannot spam-comment the will to understand into them.

And sometimes, quite often, it is not so much a lack of understanding for the material, but a different set of life experiences that cause someone to process and view things differently than you. And that is not something that you can take away from someone, or ‘teach’ them to view differently.

If they would like to have an open dialogue, and invite you to share your perception with them – well, to a media nerd like me, that just sounds like good fandom fun! But to react to someone’s perception by stating your perception as fact, is a great way to “Um, actually” your way into Honorary Mansplainer, and grade-A dick, because by doing that, you paint their experience with something as ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ simply for being different than yours!

Other people’s view points may hurt to hear as you come across them, they may even make you question how you feel about a particular piece of media, or events you’ve experienced IRL, and that can be very uncomfortable in certain circumstances! But it is not, in these cases, a personal attack. Though, I can certainly understand that it may feel like one.

A good example of this would be the character Spike from the television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (skip this brief section (jump to the *) if you would like to avoid spoilers or mentions of SA) If I say “the bathroom scene” Buffy fans all around will cringe at the mention of it. And within minutes there will be a group of people who turn off the chat, another who discuss it calmly, and a third who quickly devolve into throwing terrible accusations at each other.

The long and short of it is, after an abusive situationship fraught with contradicting yes’s and no’s, abysmal lack of communication, and a lot of rough, depression-and-trauma-fueled sex, there comes a point where we have… The Bathroom Scene. The scene where Spike doesn’t understand that Buffy actually means “No” this time. So, during a couple of manic, painful-to-watch minutes, he pulls at her clothes, doesn’t (or refuses to hear) that her “No”’s are genuine, and Buffy responds by using her super strength to kick him off and across the bathroom. At which point Spike reaches a moment of clarity, free from his manic sort of attitude he was in, and freaks the fuck out realizing what he almost did to her – because he didn’t intend, well, that. To rape her was never his intention. She tells him to leave, and this time he does.

He spends the next couple episodes, absolutely losing his mind over what he almost did. Having to reevaluate what kind of a person he really is, and how he reached this point. And he ends up leaving, going across the world to complete deadly trials to win back his soul so that he will never be the sort of man who would come close to anything like that again. Because – oh yeah, during this whole above sections he’s a soulless demon (vampire).

So. How does this relate? Even if you’re not in the fandom, I bet you can guess.

There are some people who find Spike to be forever irredeemable, that his character is retroactively and in future, forever ruined. They cannot forgive him, and never will. There are some that will only forgive him because he (post-S6) has a soul. Some that will forgive him because Buffy (the injured party) does (I personally fall into this camp, if you were curious). And those whose opinions are unaffected by that plot point entirely, often stating that ‘it’s fiction, and therefore characters simply have to be interesting to watch in order for them to like said character’. The thing is, NONE of these opinions are wrong. They are opinions. Not stated facts. While these might be able to tell someone a bit what someone may be like as a person, or how their brain works, it cannot tell you whether that person themselves is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. That’s just not how that works.

*However, someone saying something rude about the people who like certain books/authors (one may think of Coleen Hoover and BookTok) is where things may become more murky, and the importance of analysis becomes even more vital.

At this point, the conversation has moved away from the realm of a perception on a fictional person, and gone towards a judgement of a group of people. Not inherently evil, in the case of this Colleen Hoover example, but not always pleasant either.

The truth is, it’s a hard fact of life that not everyone is going to like you or agree with you.

That is part of what makes life and our world so interesting. There is something and someone for everyone. If someone attacks you personally, or tells you to your face (or your comment section, or DMs) that they think you’re terrible because you like XYZ (Twilight, Colleen Hoover, etc), that’s obviously ridiculous and cruel, seemingly just for the sake of it. You’re not hurting anyone by liking those things, and you are allowed to enjoy things!

The difference is, when someone points out issues with a piece of media, say for example, grammatical errors, toxic behaviors, being marketed confusingly (cutesy innocent-looking cartoon covers children are oft drawn to on smut books, for example – I think the most common I’ve seen of the book cover issue is called Ice Breaker?), etc. that is their opinion, whether you like it or not, they are simply sharing what they think. They are not actually trying to stop you from enjoying things.

There seems to be this common perception nowadays that to criticize is to say: ‘Thing bad. Thing irredeemable. Thing so horrendous that if you like thing, you are a terrible person with terrible taste by proxy and you should feel shame.’

Because of the space so many people are operating from, because so much of the algorithm’s job is making sure you’re hearing people who you agree with day in and day out, we get a warped sense of what is ‘right’ or ‘true’. It’s why people can be so easily radicalized online to either end of the political spectrum. And those, particularly on the far right, use fear of the ‘other’ to keep people in line and create a warped sense of solidarity among members of that party.

And odd microcosm of that is occurring online right before us. Everything too different scares us. We see so many horrors on our screens everyday that of course we react to even ‘harmless’ other-ness (like opinions on media) with fear and harsh bad-faith reactions. We are exposed to a world of two groups: “The people who are like me, and the people who are wrong” obviously, this is a more extreme phrasing, but all of this plays into what we see online.

If you question something, then you must be part of the ‘other’ trying to hurt the cause. If you criticize something, then you ‘clearly don’t like it as much as real stans’. If you voice an unpopular opinion or hot-take that isn’t witty enough, and is just honest and phrased how the average person speaks, then you’re just a killjoy who’s trying to have fun by making everyone else feel bad about what they like.

It's like how people would get in actual screaming matches over the internet because one person liked pineapple on pizza, or did their milk & cereal in the ‘wrong order’.

We are weird, little, feral, goblin-y animals! We are supposed to be weird! And different! It is all okay as long as your opinion is not actually hurting someone! (looking at you, JKR). We are not meant to be ‘normal’! We are not robots! We do not have a set program that makes us do the same and think the same! Aggie Cromwell in Halloween Town said “Being normal is vastly overrated!” and she’s right! Normal doesn’t exist! Commonalities do! Structure does! Innovation does not happen without growth! Growth does not happen without change! And change does not happen when you’re trying so hard to be someone else’s idea of ‘good’!!!

IT IS OKAY IF SOMEONE ELSE’S OPINION IS DIFFERENT THAN YOURS!

EVEN IF IT MAKES YOU SAD OR HURTS YOUR FEELINGS THAT PEOPLE CAN’T LOVE ‘XYZ’ LIKE YOU DO!!!

YOU ARE STILL ALLOWED TO LIKE THE ‘BAD’ BOOK/MOVIE/GAME!!!

2. The perceptions of society, and how assumptions sting.

During my first year of university classes, I decided to take a film studies course. As the stereotype goes, I was the only AFAB person in the class, but I liked my professor and valued his opinions; and I’ve never been one to shy away from my passions. So little 16/17-year-old-me got ready for a whole term talking about movies (I went to Uni early). We watched a few of the first films ever made. Some of the classics like Casablanca. We did a whole section on Groundhogs Day. And through it all, I raised my hand, I talked, and I was listened to. Eventually, even the oldest guys in the class started looking more attentive when I talked. I thought I was being heard, and I thought my opinions were valued like the other people in the class.

So one day, after a lecture that made it relevant to bring up, I went to my professor and recommended him Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as it carried a lot of the themes he was particularly interested by, and paved the way for a lot of what we see today in modern TV. He kind of laughed and rolled his eyes, and I was taken aback. I told him that “Oh, yeah. I know it has a silly title, but they actually teach university courses on the series! The first season is a bit heavy on cheesiness, but by the middle of the second season it really becomes something unforgettable.” And he kind of shrugged me off. But he was older, and he’d just gotten finished teaching a long class, so I decided to let it go for the day. I’d already recommended it to my friend in the class (we’ll call him Steve), and he said he’d been enjoying it, so my hyperfixation was satisfied.

But, I’m me, so a few days later I emailed my professor about it (he’d been taken recommendations from other students, btw) I carefully wrote out a few, concise points, and even included Why You Should Watch Buffy from Passion of the Nerd on YouTube (10/10 recommend Ian’s channel btw!). I never received an email back. Which was not typical of this professor.

So a few days later, I went up to him after class and asked if he got my email, and he laughed at me, and said that he was, basically, trying to be nice before, but he was never going to watch something made for ‘teenage girls’.

               It might sound dramatic, but from someone I respected, it felt like a slap in the face.

And so I told Steve about what our Professor said, looking for comfort from a friend, expecting him to tell me that that was harsh, and rude. Instead, Steve laughed at me, and said

“Wait, you actually like it? I thought you just wanted me to watch it because the main girl looks like you.” (Nevermind that I still cannot understand why a character looking like me would be grounds for recommendation???? Perhaps if I was a raging narcissist? I really don’t know –) but he’d told me he’d been watching it, so I pressed further.

“You – but you said you liked it. So why would you think that? Why would you think that was the reason even if you didn’t like it?”

My face felt hot as I spoke to him, and I was flooded with a sense of humiliated shock. I’d honestly never experienced something like this before, I’d only seen it in movies. The sheer level of disrespect and dismissal because of my age and gender was almost comical.

I don’t remember exactly what Steve said after that. Just that it boiled down to that he liked me – as more than a friend. Which really meant he was attracted to me physically, since he clearly didn’t know much about me after almost six months of being ‘friends’.

I felt humiliated as the realization came crashing down that everyone in that class was humoring me. That to them I was just a ‘silly teenage girl’ with ‘silly teenage girl interests’ and that they would never see me differently. Even if my insights were interesting. Even if sometimes I said what the other students were thinking before they could articulate it. None of that mattered to them.

I didn’t respect any of them beyond the basic ‘you’re-a-living-person-too’ level after that.

But I kept going to class to get the grade. I kept going and talking and sharing what I thought even if none of them cared. I would not be anyone other than myself just because they couldn’t see what I had to offer. (I'm still very proud of my younger self for that :3)

I say all this to illustrate the point here:

Sometimes people will be cruel to you from a place of ignorance, social conditioning, or any number of things that have nothing to do with your personally.

Even if people try to discount you, that doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong. Not if they don’t have anything but insults to say.

You don’t need someone else to validate you or see your worth for you to be right.

The things you think, and your existence as a whole are enough. Just by virtue of you existing in this moment. Just by you staying true to yourself and not treating others poorly.

That you are allowed to change your mind about things, about people.

And,

You cannot change the minds of people who are unwilling to listen. Who are unwilling to learn.

By understanding the difference between ignorance and volume, between criticism and bullying, and between stated-as-a-fact and stated-as-an-opinion, we can learn so much, from so many brilliant people.

And it’s hard when other people are not in that headspace. And the fear and pre-experience exhaustion of having to deal with people who either want to be in, or are stuck in a knee-jerk reactionary space, well, it can cause you to do things like apologizing in your ATLA live action reaction videos for having ‘negative’ opinions.

Yes, that was a self-directed face-palm. Thank you.

But it is hard. It’s hard to navigate the world, IRL and online. And its easy to get stuck in the other extreme with this topic as well (not just reserved for politics) where you can fall into the ego-trap of starting to think you’re better than someone because you’re educated (to whatever degree, from whatever source) and they’re just ‘not even trying *pitying scoff*’.

Beware the pitfalls, my friends.

We’re all surprised that quicksand wasn’t more of an issue in our day-to-day adult life, but it turns out the real quicksand is the fucking ping pong tournament between self-flagellations and an ego trip, trying not to let yourself get more than waist deep in either pit, back and forth. If you’re lucky, you can stay in that solid, middle ground between the two, but for most of us, that’s hard. It’s work. It’s check-ins.

And you can never be perfect. (sorry, it’s true ☹)

None of this is internet-bashing either. There is so much good to be found online. But the internet is a reflection of people, which means some of it is lovely, some of it is cruel, and some of it is somewhere in between.

I have SO MUCH more I could say on this, especially in regards to the attacks against Hazbin Hotel fans (as well as the in-fandom ‘Valentino of it all’ discourse), Arcane and the Sexuality Policing that goes on, etc. But I think that’s best served for another piece of writing since that will be even more heavily colored by my own perceptions and opinions.

Regardless, I’d like to sum up my thoughts by saying that I think we all need to become more comfortable with hating things without that morphing into attacking, and with working on becoming more comfortable with seeing other people express hatred for things that we love when it’s not an attack. I’m no fucking saint, I get so wounded – deeply, personally, viscerally – when I see people hate the shows or characters that I love. When I feel like things or themes are being misrepresented or misinterpreted. It makes me want to stand up on a soap box and give 30,000 Ted Talks on why Thing Is Actually So Good, Please See It Like I Do.

But the block/’not interested’ buttons are a godsend. If someone is upsetting you or you just get ~ookie vibes~, BLOCK THEM! For no reason even! Protect your peace, but try to allow yourself to absorb alternative opinions when you have the spoons! We all have to be in the real world, so if you want your internet time to be 100% watching people build sandcastles on the beach with ocean wave ASMR, then curate that, Pookies! Ignore everything else! The internet is an endless sandbox we all get to play in, find the part of it you like, and go visit others if you feel so inclined, just don’t kick over their stuff because their shovel is a color you don’t like XD

Even with all of that, there’s probably three times as much that I forgot to say, but this is good enough for now, I might add more later, and I might write about the aforementioned Hazbin and Arcane stuff I’ve seen around, but I’m sleepy so that’s very much a maybe later thing haha

TLDR: Be nice to each other! Please! We’re all little freaks, find your niche and thrive my loves XD

[dracimexidae]

I was tagged by @sirtadcooper - thank you!! 😃

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties.

(mandatory under the cut because I'm an idiot who can't keep it short to save her life 😅)

Favourite colour: this is an easy one, I'm in an established relationship and still madly in love after so many years with practically every shade of violet/purple that exists! 💜 Maybe I'm slightly more drawn to colder hues, but I'm not really that picky when it comes to this family of colours!

(This is a picture of a portion of wall in my bedroom I have asked to be painted with this shade of violet - which is a bit darker in reality but y' know, artificial light, that corner is way too dark to photograph otherwise... the whole room has various hues of purple scattered around: curtains, decorations, blankets, pillows... here's a special appearance of my beautiful boat lamp! ⛵💕)

Last song: thanks to a suggestion from Youtube, which probably hates me, because I'm still recovering from a flu and generally weak so it would be wise to avoid any kind of unneccessary emotional outburst:

Not technically a song, but still... I'm not sure if I was crying while watching this because I haven't had the chance to listen to them live yet, since they made a European tour twice but never touched my country and I couldn't travel abroad to see them, or because of... whatever it is that is going on with this performance and these artists, "epicness" to me barely covers it, I know I'm exaggerating but that's how much I love Two Steps From Hell, what can I say... In any case here I am being even more of a mess than I already am, you'd think I have had enough of using handkerchiefs these days! 😭❤️‍🔥

Last movie: I think it was Imagine me & you, which I finally watched after seeing a lot about it here (unpopular opinion no one asked for, I thought I would have enjoyed it more... ☹️)... It was either that or Bros (which I actually enjoyed it more than I expected instead 😁), at the moment I don't remember exactly which came last...

Currently watching: Fellow Travelers as for new shows (fuck me, seriously, what am I doing to myself 😭 - I'm crying quite a bit in this post 😅), rewatching Blackadder after having finished A bit of Fry and Laurie 😆, and sports as well, mainly tennis, padel and basketball atm!

Other stuff I watched this year: Oh my, I didn't watch an awful lot of things, but I'll surely forget something - I'm terrible remembering this kind of stuff (if only it was just these things 😅)! Let's see, in no particular order, I can recall Minx (so far this year the most pleasant surprise in terms of TV series I've watched for the first time, silly [affectionate] little show), Wednesday (it was a bit meh for me, not sure if I'll watch next season), Red, white & royal blue (likely one of my favourite movies this year ❤️... yeah, it's not certainly a big deal of a movie ofc and I'm not even a rom com gal, especially for those Hallmark style movies, like this kinda is, but idk, it was cute and warm and brought good feelings and probably I watched it in the right moment for me, or one on which I just needed good vibes, what can I say), Call me by your name (even more than watching the movie reading the book was... quite an experience - I'm not saying it an entirely bad way, but I'm still so utterly confused about my feelings about this novel), What's love, The kissing booth (don't ask me about this one, the things I do to watch an actor I like 😅 - there's a whole trilogy of it but I only watched the two movies that had in the cast the actor I was interested in, really can't be bothered to do more than that, it was enough suffering I endured 🤣), Only murders in the building, The witcher, National treasure: edge of history (I don't care what anyone says, this show deserved at least another season, it was far from perfect but there has been way worse that still sticks around, and I'm speaking as a fan of the movies foremost, especially the first one, which is one of my comfort movies, as absurd and silly as it is 😊), Shadow and bone, The witcher (as for these, I'll probably keep watching an eventual next season only for some of the cast, because both were an utter disappointment and I wouldn't bother continuing otherwise), let's see, what else, oh yeah, Smiley (this was another nice show tbh, and in this case I could also train my ear a bit on the language since it's in Spanish and I'm trying to learn and improve it 😝) and two other Spanish shows (guilty again for watching mainly for an actor I wanted to see ah ehm), Merlì/Merlì: Sapere Aude and Alguien tiene que morir, and Érase una vez… pero ya no, all pretty much forgettable... I don't know what else, probably there is something more, but I'm making it lenghty already, I should stop anyway!

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: damn, I should make a sheet about tv/movies as I do with books, it's honestly hard remembering what I watched or dropped! I can recall not going through the second episode of Warrior nun: again, another show I was curious about having seen things here on Tumblr, but I didn't feel it after the first episode, I'm not even sure exactly why - it's possible I'll try again someday, it's way too early to have an opinion after only one episode! I also didn't finish Lockwood & co., this one wasn't really for me tbh... I'm not even mentioning something I've been watching only and exclusively because it's a sort of joke I have with a friend of mine... All right, I'll say, it's High School Musical: The musical - the series 😅 Truth is, my friend likes the movies and low key also the series, whereas I hate them all, and she knows they piss me off and she has fun hearing my comments and teasing me about it... I have a bit less fun submitting myself to this "torture" but whatever! 🤣 I try to watch the series when I'm particularly willing to waste my time, because the only reason I'm doing it is to have a laugh with said friend, anyway rn I'm at the last season and it's so bad, sooooooo bad (mind you, meaning it's just not for me, I'm likely too old and too millennial to watch this kind of shows anymore), I don't know how I am supposed to endure any more of it lol!! I guess at some point I'll force myself to finish it to end my suffering and hoping my friend and I will finally close this questionable chapter of our watching experience, but damn it's hard! 😝 As for shows of which I completed a season but didn't watch the next, I could say one was Abbott Elementary: pretty bummed about it because it was actually cute and was enjoying it, I finished the first season when the second didn't air yet and when it did, I had moved on and lost interest a bit and wasn't in the mood to continue my watching (happens to me a lot)... I think at some point I will resume this one, just have to find the right inspiration! 😛 (I'm rather complicated and picky about my watching/reading experience in general, ops) And I have to mention as well, even if it will surely grant me some disapproval from the person who tagged me in this game 😆, I couldn't pick up Our flag means death after the first season as well, and for now I don't think I will resume it: I didn't really feel this show, I don't know what to say... 🤷 Should I mention that I also tried rewatching The Terror but I was like "oh hell no!" after the first episode?! 😅 In my defense I watched it at night, and the show is A LOT and nearly killed me the first time, yeah ok I'm making excuses but I have to be in a certain state of mind to watch certain things and The Terror is one of those cases - I already mentioned I'm complicated with my watching experience, yes?! 😜 Anyway it was a rewatch so it shouldn't count sssshhhh 🤫😁

Currently reading: more like, the books I've put on hold atm, ouch! True that this year, especially in the first half, I've read way more than I expected and definitely way more than I usually do, but that's not an excuse to make a pause - still, I'm realizing that it's been few weeks since I've picked up my readings! Anyway, what I've been reading is Mercanti avventurieri by Attilio Brilli, which collects stories about merchants and their travels and trades through the centuries; Columbus by Lawrence Bergreen, the account of Cristoforo Colombo's voyages in America - not happy enough of ending up horrified and outraged by the chronicle of Magellano's expedition (by the story and events, not the author's writing, which I actually appreciated a lot), I decided to educate myself more about another so called "pioneer" who thanks to his hubris committed terrible atrocities in the name of "progress" and "religion" and "civilization" and so on 😡 , since the little knowledge I have about Colombo comes mainly from my years at school... Despite the fact that my respect for this man is nowhere to be seen, I'm still somehow fascinated by the narration of sea voyages, which in the end are actually my main interest when reading this kind of stories; Atlante delle fortune di mare di Cyril Hofstein, an account of tales about (mis)fortunes at sea, involving incidents, lost treasures, mysterious events, discoveries, disappearances, disasters and so forth - btw, in the book there is this particular chapter:

The disappearance of the Erebus and Terror is the title - the real story is terrifying enough even without creating a fictional horror show inspired by it jfc!

And lastly, this is definitely the less "serious" reading, The Lawrence Browne affair by Cat Sebastian, one of my first attempts at reading "proper" (meaning they're not fanfictions, not that I don't consider those "proper" literature, on the contrary many of them are written far better than some published books I've read, so yeah, I should say "published" instead) erotic novels lmao 😝 This was a whim really, I felt I wanted to read something light, "wicked" and not to be taken seriously (it also was probably some sort of "knee-jerk reaction" to many of the queer books I read this year, which were sad, depressing and/or tragic 😔)! Romance novels are not really my jam in general, but every once in a while they don't hurt, since I'm doing it just for fun! This one is actually the second book of a trilogy, more disappointing than the first book I have to say, which was more "juicy" and entertaining! 😁

Currently listening to: ah, this is a tough one to pinpoint, because lately my Spotify is on shuffle most of the time (I have a folder literally called "Miscellanea" that keeps a bit of everything, it's a glorious mess lol), and my music preferences are rather varied... Let's say that if I have to consciously choose something at the moment, there would certainly be Poets of the Fall, Gaelic Storm, The Irish Rovers, Santiano (in general celtic folk/punk songs, especially if inspired by sea and sailors stories- those are good for all seasons 🥰), Two Steps From Hell, J2 and "epic music" in general, and dance-pop music from '70 to '00, original or remixes, especially when I work out in the last case!

Currently working on: do crosswords count? It's my newest pursuit lol 😆 Because otherwise I'm afraid I'm not working on anything in particular at the moment (and I should start, since I had a couple of ideas for gifts for Christmas that alas, have to be handcrafted in order to be created, and if I want to have them done I am the one who must work on them, ugh can you believe it, outrageous, what has the world come to 😂)... I occasionally do a bit of calligraphy, create costume jewellery or create little macramè things, again usually trinkets but this summer I bought thicker yarns so I could have a go at something a little bigger like coin purses, wallets and little bags, and all in all it didn't go that bad:

The problem is, at least with the purses, that with these dimensions I can't fit half the things I usually bring with me when I go out because "you never know what might happen I might need this thing", so these purses were more like first tries and will likely not be used by me very much because they are too small for my necessities! 😅 In any case, I had to put this activity on hold for a bit because I lacked some time to dedicate myself to it!

Oh, wait, does trying to repair a porcelain ornament that fell on the floor (not because of me, I want to clarify, for once that I don't accidentally bump into stuff and make a mess - which happens more often than I'd like 😅) count? Hardly but whatever, anyway it's going to be complicated to glue the pieces back, some have shattered in such tiny fragments, sigh...

Current obsession: I'm almost shocked to report that at the current moment no particular obsession has consumed my every waking hour 🤣 I mean, even the flame of padel, which I've been following almost religiously all year, has dimmed a little, but it is the end of the season/year, everyone is tired and so am I apparently, rooting for couples who almost never have significant results (story of my life lol), so I guess I'm recharging the batteries for another round of hopeless cheer next year, yay! 🥳 For the rest, in terms of media I believe there is nothing of significance to report in terms of proper "obsession" for the time being, so yeah, that's it 😌 (the times of Black Sails or even Agents of SHIELD are far behind me, I miss being that "obsessed" tbh ☹️)

Tagging @thelifeinmyshadesofgrey , @whitestnoise , @lives-ruined-and-bloodshed, @valentinaonthemoon , @mednay , @tirairgid (ofc if you want to and haven't done it before) and whoever wants to give it a go really!

[quite-right-too]

20 Questions Game

Thank you for the tag @demdifferentstories-29 I want to add that most of my old works on AO3 have since been deleted unfortunately so I'm basically starting from scratch on here.

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 4 (but I have some plans for more)

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

15,718

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write almost exclusively for Doctor Who but I'm considering doing other DT crossovers like Broadchurch.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I only have four up right now so I'll just list them in order from most to least.

Dona Nobis Pacem (TenRose modern AU)

TenRose Ask Box Ficlets (ongoing inbox prompt ficlets)

Last Words (post-Journey's End nightmare drabble)

Grand Finale (one shot of @sneakertin's dark!Tentoo AU)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I will always respond to comments. I love the engagement and being able to talk to the readers of my silly little stories. The validation really gets me in the mood to write more.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That title will easily go to Grand Finale because it's DARK. Chapter 17 in TenRose Ask Box Ficlets is also really heartbreaking.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dona Nobis Pacem is still a WIP but it will be having a happy ending, I promise.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't really written enough to get any hate yet, but I do get a lot of heartbroken readers when I post angst.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I haven't but I do have some planned for the WIP I have going on right now.

It'll be F/M simply because that's the ship I write for and how my fics are written. I don't know if I'll write any F/F or M/M in the future, but it's always a possibility.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have no yet, but wait til y'all see all the little things in my brain.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't believe so but you never know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I can confidently say that I have not.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't done a legitimate co-written fic yet. I would love to, but I'm not entirely sure of how it would go, especially since most of my work in the past has been educationally related and I've been the sole person working on it.

However, the wonderful @demdifferentstories-29 has been beta-ing Dona Nobis Pacem and she has added a substantial amount to it so I would basically consider it a co-writing situation. Lily is an amazing author and I'm legitimately still giddy to have one of my favorite fic writers beta-ing my silly little thing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

All time favorite ship will always be TenRose. Obviously, TentooRose is in there mixed in, but that's simply semantics. He IS the Doctor so...

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don't know that I have one that I don't intend on finishing, but I always worry that my muse will just disappear on me and I won't be able to finish the few that I have started right now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that my angst is pretty damn good. I used to do a bit of writing for an old OC RP I used to do and the angst of that was heavy.

Also, making sure things are accurate. Doing my research, reaching out to more knowledgable people on the topic who can better assist, and just overall covering my bases to make things as realistic, accurate, and respectful as possible.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm more of an essay/research proposal writer versus a novel writer, which means I have a lot of issues with telling and not showing. Another major issue is, again, being able to give accurate and intimate descriptions of the actual scene so the readers are able to visualize it themselves.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't know that I would do great since I would have to rely on Google Translate for it, but I would absolutely be willing to add it in there.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It has always been Doctor Who. I know my old fics are still on this blog somewhere, as well as probably on my old laptop wherever it is.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

The obvious answer would be Dona Nobis Pacem, but I have a lot of plans for the Grand Finale AU in the future. That is one I'm super excited to work on this coming winter.

Tagging: @thirdeyeblue @tenroseforeverandever @rudennotgingr @lastbluetardis @gingerteaonthetardis

[m-madeleine]

hi! for the end of the year asks: 1, 3, 9, 14, 22, 24?

Hiiii!

1. How many books did you read this year?

Officially 33, although counting is difficult because I interned in publishing this summer and read some books that weren't out at the time. I keep thinking of more books I finished half a year ago. There's one that's announced for February and I guess I'll be counting it for this year instead??

Then there were also a couple that I technically finished, but am not counting for my goodreads challenge for Reasons, like I was basically skimming because of fast review deadline...or found so artrociously horrible I don't even want it to stain my account lmao. And that last one, I did the final edit for, so I know how bad it was even after multiple professional editing rounds :P

3. What were your top five books of the year?

In no particular order

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik (EL!!! El, the girl who was born to be evil and fights tooth and nail to stay good out of spite T-T) (Also I realized I operate nigh daily on the exact same level of vigilance as a kid in a school that will KILL YOU and that's....a lot)

The Old Ways by Robert Macfarlane (chill nonfiction about hiking and sailing mostly around Britain)

Shadow Girls by Carol Birch (girl's schools and ghostssss)

The Death of Bees by Lisa O'Donnell (two girls bury their own parents in their backgarden; macabre in the best ways, grim but full of love)

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn (essentially a fictional true crime case where you actually get the satisfaction of unpeeling all the layers through a round dance of POVs, left me Pondering for daysss)

Bonus: Along the Trenches by Navid Kermani (a travelogue that gets into the nitty gritty of the history and politics of Eastern Europe and the Caucasus) (I've only gotten halfway through, but I have to mention it NOW because it's amazing and Kermani has been cemented as my non-fiction crush)

9. Did you get into any new genres?

Not really! I def felt a taste for dark stuff this year though.

For the opposite of Getting Into, I had to read a lot of r0mance novels and new adult fiction for work, and mmmmmmm no. No shade, I did enjoy a couple, even though I'm not sure I would've finished them if I didn't have to. But they're just so formulaic T-T I need my books to have a kick.

14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

Worked hard on finishing In Männerkleidern by Angela Steidele. It's somewhere between an academic work and a conventional biography? The subject is a working class AFAB person in early 1700s Germany who lived sometimes as a woman and sometimes as a man, had a really interesting life, married a woman but eventually got busted and executed for "sodomy with a woman".

I think Steidele is pretty solid about dealing with the transman or lesbian or?? controversy potential, refers to the main character as whatever gender they were presenting as at the time and when discussing the possibility of interpretation at the end gives evidence for and against all possibilities fairly imo.

You're usually not gonna catch me reading history stuff outside uni, but this was a treat.

22. What’s the longest book you read?

Mansfield Park!

24. Did you DNF anything? Why?

Oh yea. For one, a lot of that was involuntary through work, often you'll only get a 50 page sample, sometimes the rest isn't even written yet.

One thing for work I DNFd more or less voluntarily was What Doesn't Kill Us by Ajay Close (sent in for translation licensing). I actually loved it and for the first and last time felt that famed editor "This is MY manuscript and I'm FIGHTING for it" feeling. Buuuuut it's very dark and visceral and I wasn't in a great headspace at the time, so I kind of just quiet quit on it during my last week. I did still write it a recommendation for as far as I got.

Outside of work, The First Day of Spring by Nancy Tucker. Only took me a couple pages to realize it was based on Mary Bell. I actually thought it was very well done, but it was tough to read just because of the subject and even flipping forward didn't help. I don't think I'll go back to it, I feel like I kind of know what it was doing and where it was going and I liked it, but don't need to experience it page by page.

[sockeye-run]

I'm still here!!!

If you've noticed my absence I apologize. Things have been wild and crazy for about two weeks now, but have finally started to settle. I look forward to catching up with all my Tumblr faves ❤️ (tldr at the end, sorry it's a novel!)

The tire incident was simple and manageable, thankfully. Just another random, painful expense, and reminder that life is chaotic-neutral and meaningless at best, but possibly chaotic-evil and maliciously masochistic at worst. 🙄

All the stress of the past few weeks or so reminded me that I may have an autoimmune disorder of sorts; it seems any time I experience a high stress load, my body creates extreme inflammation or something, which causes me intense and chronic pain in my muscles, joints, and bones, as well as extreme fatigue. My poor, ever patient and graceful husband reminded me that last year I was prescribed some Celebrex for the very same symptoms, and I should give it a try. It helped almost immediately; I have a telehealth appointment with my PCP today to discuss seeking a specialist's evaluation for this. I'm honestly quite tired of doctors, diagnoses, and medication, but I can't exist successfully in the prior state of pain, so I will do as I must.

We got the new stove installed, finally. The whole process only cost us nearly $2500 from start to finish though lol 😂😭. We had to hire an electrician to wire the correct wire gauge and outlet through the house. We had to hire a plumber to cap off the gas line. We had many delays and miscommunications. But it's finally here! And it's been amazing so far. It's like the electric car of ovens lol: all torque all the time. I've been relishing in simply being able to make myself whatever I want whenever I want. I think I forgot how integral cooking is in my lifestyle until it was no longer accessable. I'm beyond grateful for the ability again. We can also stop spending tons of money on takeout, and can have healthier meals and snacks again, which is a blessing 🙌

Work has been off the rails too lol. It's the busiest time of the year for the bee farm, and it's my first time experiencing it. We're really feeling the pressure, but I think we're all doing our best to make it work. We are simply chronically understaffed and stretched thin. We have a general policy of flexibility; they purposefully cross-train as much as possible so that we can jump back and forth across different responsibilities throughout the day, but there are some fundamental flaws with that. I have noticed a lack of monetary compensation for the added responsibilities and skills, and of course without proper coverage, when someone hops from one need to another, a different hole is created and a new situation can arise. So we're trying to find the balance between what we need as a company, and what the human body and mind are actually capable of lol.

Two weeks ago was supposed to be our first bee pick up of the year. It was pushed to this past weekend due to weather, so we had about 400 orders stacked for one weekend. We sell two types of bees: Italian bees, which we source from California and Florida breeders, and our own specialty, chemical-free bees, which we breed on site. Due to the poor weather (climate change, lets be real), the spring season had yet to kick off, and it was impossible to ship the Italian bees during freezes and floods, as well as initiate the queen breeding process in the cold. So this past weekend our pick up volume doubled.

To make things more interesting lol, we also hosted this year's Texas Mead Festival! It was a fun display of 6 different meaderies from all over the state (including our own meadery, Wildflyer), with samples and gifts and live music and food. All week up to the day of the event, it was down-pouring rain daily. Our farm is mostly grass and gravel. The location for the outdoor festival was now officially Woodstock 1999 lol: a mud pit. But they set up booths and tents nonetheless and we went for it.

On that day, I was meant to run the farm's cafe, and flex between retail/bee pick up as I was needed. They also pinned me with hosting the gourmet honey tastings, and the history tour for the day. Why we allowed these extra events during such a chaotic day is beyond me.

We were busy from hour one. The festival didn't start until noon, and pick ups weren't supposed to start until two, but our owner made the executive decision to start pick ups early since we were technically 'ready', so we were bombarded with already frustrated bee keepers out the gate. Bee folk are strange folk, too; trust me on that. Thankfully I was sequestered in the kitchen for coffee service until noon, when I ran across the yard to host the gourmet tasting. The group was friendly and it went well, but I left right at the start of lunch service, and came back to it in full swing. We were slammed until I had to leave again at two for the history tour, and it was painful to abandon the crew, but I did my due diligence. It was another great group of customers though, and it went well. But when I got back to retail to check in, chaos had broken loose; the shop was overrun with regular weekend customers, day drunk festival goers, and cranky beekeepers. There were only two people at retail trying to do the work of at least four. But I couldn't stay to help, as the cafe had a line out the door and were in the reeds to say the least. We cranked out orders until we literally ran out of everything, and I had to ask the people in line to leave for an hour so we could desperately scramble to prep more ingredients and continue service. People grumbled but I think the mead was playing the part of placater that day lol, and we were barely able to scrape it back together. We stayed open until seven; retail was only open until five. One of the retail gals came and helped us close, because she's an angel and easily my favorite coworker right now lol. We had over-prepped in preparation for the event, and it still took us by surprise, so it was a heavy lesson to learn in the moment. But we survived and probably even thrived; all the customers had positive feedback, and we left for the day feeling satisfied.

Selling delicate livestock has its drawbacks though. We've been fielding calls all week about unsuccessful transport and installation of colonies and queens. I've been playing customer service all week, trying to troubleshoot bee issues and manage replacements and refunds. It's kind of a case by case thing; we're responsible for the bees' wellness up to the point of leaving the property, and the customer must sign a waiver agreeing to such. But accidents can happen despite how seasoned and knowledgeable the beekeeper might be, so we try to be flexible and accommodating if the situation is right. It's been a bit stressful. I've also spent any free time I've had just trying to restock the absolutely obliterated equipment room of all its hive bodies, gear, tools, etc.

I had a nice debrief about the weekend with the owner though, and I think I succinctly communicated the reality of the flex ideology on me and my fellow workers, as well as the needs of the kitchen as an independent entity during big events like this. It was a fruitful talk and I think the next pick-up, this coming Friday and Saturday, will go much more smoothly, and not just because there won't be a festival cherry on top of the chaos pie lol. There will be many more large events at the farm this year, so I think Mead Fest was a harsh but necessary test run.

✨TLDR: It's been trial after tribulation, but I think I'm rounding a corner and coming out better for it.

I'm grateful for everything I've learned, the support of my loving friends, family, and husband, a safe home to come back to every day, a stable job with owners and coworkers whom I think genuinely care, and the general reclamation of my health lol. I'm beyond grateful for the stability and privilege in my life to be able to experience so much struggle at once and somehow bounce right back, possibly even stronger than before.

Thanks for sticking around 💖

[fearofahumanplanet]

Writer Tag Game

Thanks for the tag, @writingpotato07!

Do you write in order?

Yes. It's how I keep the character arcs straight. My characters change and develop a lot over a story, and trying to capture them at different stages of development outside of the occasional flashback is too much of a goddamn headache for me.

Do you start with something particular?

I'm with Potato here that I don't start writing until I have a title. I feel like a good title captures the mood and themes and the Everything of the work, and if I don't have an obvious title leaping out at me, then I don't feel I know what I'm writing yet. Once we have the title and the outline, it's all good to go from there. I do tend to start all my stories in media res - I find it far more compelling than any other option.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

My first drafts are actually far more developed than I've noticed most people's are, so I guess it's rather fully formed. Usually I spend all the editing phase just making sentences more melodic, correcting plot holes or continuity errors, general grammar checking and adding more prose to scenes that don't have enough meat on their bones. I've only ever had to re-write something from the ground-up once (Serpents).

How many drafts do you go through?

Usually 3, sometimes 4. First draft is what it is, second draft is where I flesh out everything that's there and deal with the big problems like continuity, third draft is just me doing a last spell-check and making it flow nice. Sometimes there's a fourth draft if a novel is being a problem child. (Serpents, again.)

Tell me about your process ?

basic concept

core character concepts (main cast)

beginning, middle, and end of plot + rest of characters (bc i create characters to fill empty spots in the plot, not to just have them, i very much follow the "if your role can be filled by another character, you don't need a new one" philosophy)

flesh out characters + backstories

a week of obsessive research

scrap the plot bc the characters decide to ignore my instructions & rewrite it

actually start writing first draft

change entire plot midway through first draft bc characters ignore my instructions a second time & just make it up as i go along

somehow have a first draft that people love

take a break and write something else

second and third drafts with fresh eyes (this is when i start to actually like my own work lmao)

go "wow that was horrible i'm never doing that again"

get bored after a week and do it again

Tagging @autumnalwalker, @charlesjosephwrites, @eccaiia, @andromedaexists (HERE YOU DONT NEED FINISHED WRITING FOR THIS ONE AND IM CURIOUS <3)

[mellowthorn]

I was tagged by @gwenllian-in-the-abbey, thank you so much for the tag! (and sorry that it has taken me forever to do this)

How many works do you have on AO3?

Three currently (I’ve written more for other fandoms but I orphaned those years ago)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

55,643

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I only post for Realm of the Elderlings, but I also sometimes write Kingdom Hearts fics purely for myself

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Uhh, I only have three on my current account, but in order, Someone Other Than Us, After The Sun Has Set and then Ever Your Fool.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, or at least I try to! I have a bad habit of thinking my response but never actually writing it down and then forgetting about it completely... But I try my best to remember to reply, even if it ends up taking a while.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Neither of my finished fics/oneshots have closed endings, so I guess it depends on what you imagine happens afterwards. Neither of them are exactly happy though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I haven’t finished posting it yet, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise that After The Sun Has Set will soon take that title. I mean, it's already happier than anything else that I've written

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, occasionally. I don’t know exactly how to describe what kind, other than that my smut scenes tend to be quite sad?? I like using them as a way to explore or exaggerate some complicated character dynamic, and I guess that’s why they often turn into something at least a little uncomfortable. As much as I enjoy reading smut that’s all sexy and romantic, for some reason I can’t write it myself at all haha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nah

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Fitzloved is my current favourite (and I've never been this intense about a ship before), though Zemyx (from Kingdom Hearts) is the one I always eventually return to

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Last spring I wrote about 45k words of post-Assassin’s Fate happy ending AU. The outline for it is massive, and what I’ve written so far covers maybe one tenth at most. I know I will never have the patience to finish it, but somewhere at the back of my mind I refuse to let it go. I’ve been trying to see if I could turn parts of it into one-shots or something, but who knows what I’ll end up doing 🤷

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d say I’m fairly good at characterization, as well as building up tragic and angsty scenarios. My favorite thing when writing fanfiction is to take some (usually sad) aspect of a character/relationship/etc and then dive deep into that, and I think I do it pretty well.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My prose, especially detailed descriptions and creative similes and metaphors and the like. Writing those does not come naturally to me at all, and I feel like I often get stuck using cliches and specific words or phrases, and then have to spend half my time editing to make things less repetitive.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

 Not my thing, I prefer to keep everything in one language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

 Harry Potter, I think? Way back in like 2008 or 2009.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

From RotE stuff, After the Sun Has Set. It’s the first time I’ve managed to fully write, edit and post a multi-chapter fic from start to finish, and that alone is a huge achievement for me. Writing every chapter from a different character’s PoV was also a really fun (if sometimes frustrating) challenge and I’m really glad to have done it. Outside of RotE, a few years back I wrote this super self-indulgent novel-length Zemyx fic. I never posted it anywhere and it’s kind of crap quality-wise so I never will, but since it’s basically just every romance trope I’ve ever liked, it’s fun to reread for comfort every once in a while.