#the only men i allow in my life now are men that respect me and my boundaries and treat me like a princess
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About your "Men (including cishet men) welcome to interact" post
As someone who's most important/supportive person in their life is our dad, & we have (or just have meet) other men who has meant a lot to us or have been really supportive or even our role models, sometimes people hatred or just distrust they have and how openly rude they are about it just a lot sometimes. Obviously & Honestly there's a lot to be said here(about this topic as whole) but we are not able to(personal comfortability & actual writing ability). Thank you for being a blog that has been here allowing us to be able to explore, understand, learn our(& others) identities/experiences in world, not making us feel bad for the people who support us just because of how the judge based off of the same thing the rest of society shuns us for. (a side note because of your blog we were able to get the nerve and make the push to start T just over a year ago now. A lot of it due to the help and support we got from our dad, who despite us being an adult has financially covered everything for it and the rest of our health as we are also disabled and only recently have been able to work at all) Thank you for your time in just reading this if ya do.
thanks for taking the time to send this, i really appreciate it!
i'm tired of seeing hate for the sake of hate. hate solves very little. like being a hater sucks actually, it's not cool to be shitty to other people for no reason. it bothers me deeply that people refuse to accept that there genuinely are cishet men who are queer allies out there, and in fact, some of them are absolutely amazing queer allies. i've had friends who were cishet men and gendered me correctly after i came out to them. i've had cishet men stand up for me when someone questions my manhood.
nobody considers the fact that there are queer people that just might have a loved one, partner, or friend who is a cishet man. why would it ever be okay to openly show hate to someone who supports you? hell, how you even expect someone to respect your gender and your orientation if you hate them based off of their gender and orientation? profiling someone based off of their gender & orientation is quite literally what queerphobes do, and doing it to random cishet men who haven't hurt you will not make those queerphobes stop profiling you.
treating someone else like shit just because you've been treated like shit is passing your trauma on to someone else. you're bleeding on someone who did not cut you.
(a side note because of your blog we were able to get the nerve and make the push to start T just over a year ago now. A lot of it due to the help and support we got from our dad, who despite us being an adult has financially covered everything for it and the rest of our health as we are also disabled and only recently have been able to work at all)
first of all i'm so happy to hear that! i hope things have been going well for you with T, and i am genuinely so fucking happy to hear that your dad is so supportive. he sounds amazing i'm glad he wants to help you become the happiest version of yourself you can be. there really are supportive cishet men out there. some of them are dads, uncles, cousins, brothers, sons, friends and partners. there's no reason we should treat them like absolute shit when they support us. we need to love them just as they love us.
take care of yourself! thank you for sending this i really appreciate it! let me know if you need any help with regards to HRT! im always happy to help! good luck in your transition, stay safe!
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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i love when people ask me what happened with my ex because I’m like are you sure…are u prepared…cause bb this is a whole story time i got pictures and everything 😭 and they’re never prepared 😭😭 I’m glad i can laugh abt it now because everything ive been thru has legitimately been Fucked but its also embarrassing having to explain everything and then say how i still got back with him after all that and it kinda makes me sad for the girl i was that i was riding so hard for a boy (can’t even call him a man) that literally hates me. obviously i was too blinded by my love for him because no one that “loves” you will treat u like that but i know that now and will never allow someone to treat me like that again. especially when I’m the prize bb💖
#the only men i allow in my life now are men that respect me and my boundaries and treat me like a princess#i can’t stop dying at the fact i showed my friend a picture of the 19 year old and she immediately was like stop no i can’t even look at#that anymore#and then the next girl i showed her she was like omg stop ew he hooked up with her?? she’s literally insane like a pathological liar#and I’m like girl… i know 😭#anyways there could not be more signs that I’m doing the right thing for myself and moving onto much better things <3#also I’m not religious but god bless whoever he ends up with because if i found out my man treated women like that..esp ones he supposedly#loves I’m running away instantly
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LADY BRIDGERTON - Anthony Bridgerton x wife!reader (smut)
Summary: Reader has been married to Anthony Bridgerton for too long, it feels, although it has only been a few years. In that short time, not only has he only touched her naked body once, but he comes home most nights smelling of sweat and another woman’s perfume. Lady Whistledown has caught wind of this, and the gossip sends Lady Bridgerton over the edge. Anthony takes the time to give his wife exactly what she’s asking for.
Warnings: smut; badly written smut lol; infidelity; arguments about infidelity; possibly out of character anthony; I’ve only watched season 1 of Bridgerton; breeding kink; unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it but this is a married couple); female reader/use of she/her pronouns; as always, proofread to the best of my ability
“Do you wish to make a fool of me?” Anthony leaned down to whisper in his young wife’s ear, a firm hand grabbing her elbow as he interrupted her conversation with a young man from Russia, or Hungary. He didn’t pay much mind to the boy so much as the woman who bore his last name, fully aware of the way she had been subtly flirting with many men that night. Taking count of the glasses of bubbles she had — she was nursing her fourth flute, Anthony had decided it was enough.
Don’t make a scene.
Lady Bridgerton felt an intense urge to strike her husband across his cheek, how dare he accuse her of making a fool out of him. All evening she had overheard whispers of Anthony’s name from nasty gossipers. The young Bridgertons had been the central characters in the latest edition of Lady Whistledown. Rumor has it that Lord Bridgerton had continued an affair with a certain singer, without bothering to hide it from his young wife. Even worse? Lady Bridgerton knew, as they all knew, and never seemed to let the truth affect how she presented herself to those around her.
“Would you like me to answer that truthfully, my dear husband?” She turned her gaze towards him, her eyes alight with a burning fury towards the unfaithful man she had devoted her life to. She jerked her arm away from his grip and started to lift the glass to her painted lips. Anthony grabbed the dainty piece of glass and shook his head, “I think you’ve had enough. It’s time for you to go home.”
A bitter laugh escaped her mouth before she could stop it, as a few heads turned to observe the titular couple. “If that is your wish, Mr. Bridgerton.” She turned on her heel and started to make her way out to the cold air, cursing herself for leaving her coat in the carriage. She didn’t even bother to wait for her husband to catch up as she informed the valet they would be leaving.
The carriage ride to the estate wasn’t anything special. She would sit and seethe in silence during the ride, her eyes burning a hole through Anthony’s forehead as he sat across from her. The argument began once the couple was behind the safety of their bedroom door, standing in front of each other with defenses up. “We have been married for two years, Anthony! Two years and the only time you have touched me was on our wedding night. Yet every night you come home, to OUR bed, smelling like some whore’s perfume! I am left to listen to the ton gossip about MY empty bed!” She nearly hissed the words to punctuate her accusations. Anthony had never seen such an outburst from the young woman, she had never spoken to him like that before. She was standing before him, the drinks she had at the ball fueling her anger and simultaneously allowing the anger to sober her head.
“I know that I wasn’t who you wanted to marry, I understand that this was just a beneficial arrangement for you. But I expect that as the woman who now holds your family name, who will one day bear your children, that you could at the very least respect me!” She was angry that he had just stood there and watched her yell, but at the same time, she wouldn’t let him get a word in.
“You cannot expect me to be a dutiful wife and lady if you refuse to grant me at least the tiniest shred of dignity. You, sir, make a fool of yourself, I am merely seeking that same kind of attention you seek from Siena.” Her voice dripped with sickly sweet venom as she spat the woman’s name.
Anthony allowed the woman to speak her mind on his infidelity, finally admitting to himself that he had been unfair to her. He frequently came into their room in the middle of the night when he expected the woman to be asleep. In the beginning of the marriage, he had at least tried to hide the evidence, changing his clothes before he climbed under the blankets next to her. Now, she was accustomed to him laying down beside her without even taking off the shirt that was stained with Siena’s stage makeup and that reeked of her pungent perfume.
“I do not understand, Anthony. I can come to terms with a loveless marriage, but I am so exhausted by knowing you’re giving her that kind of attention, and I have remained loyal to you despite the obvious signs of your affair-“ her rant was abruptly cut short when Anthony floated over to her, his hands gripping her cheeks with fervor as he crashed his lips to hers. Taking only a moment to stand in shock, she pressed her lips back against his, her hand reaching to grip onto the front of his overcoat. Desperately reaching for more, trying to edge him closer to their bed but ultimately allowing him full control over her mind, body and soul. She let out a disappointed whimper when his lips parted from hers, his face inches from her own.
“What is it that you want from me, woman? You wish for me to touch you the way I touch her? Or do you believe my hands to be too stained?” She hated how close his lips were, desperately trying to reach forward as he spoke his mind. She didn’t really care how improper the words sounded as they came from his mouth, because she DID want him to touch her- not just touch, she wanted him to fuck her the way he fucked his mistress.
She took a moment to find her words, not expecting her confrontation to lead to this moment. “Anthony, I am your wife. All I want is for you to- to fuck me the way a husband fucks his wife.”
Understanding that he had a year’s worth of missing passion to make up for, and seeing that deep down he had no other choice than to obey the woman before him, he easily obliged. In this moment, Siena didn’t exist to him. He was purely focused on making sure his duties as a husband were thoroughly taken care of. Tonight, he would go to sleep smelling of his wife’s soft scent, making sure to cover the woman in marks of his affection.
Little time was wasted in getting their clothes off. A mess of hands clashing together to try and undo buttons and layers and loops, the couple grasping at each other as though they were desperate for the other as a life source.
Anthony paused for a moment to admire his lady’s body in the soft candlelight, letting his hands first run over the delectable curve of her hips, trailing up her sides before settling on her supple breasts.
“I’m sorry that I have spent so long torturing you, making you only imagine my hands touching you like this. I promise, my lady, I will do a much better job at attending to whatever it is you wish from me.” Anthony promised as his eyes stayed locked with hers. Her pupils were blown wide, and he realized he didn’t even know what color her irises were meant to be. He told himself he’d be a better husband to her after this, wanting to ensure her place in society as his wife. He’d fuck her full of his seed tonight, and every night after that, to make sure that Lady Whistledown could never accuse him of neglecting his wife’s desires again.
“Please, my lord, please--“ Lady Bridgerton sounded deliciously desperate, and it excited Anthony in a way that he had never experienced in his years-long affairs with Siena. It spurred him to plunge his cock deeper into his wife, his hand pushing her thigh down to her shoulder as he positioned her to angle himself deeper. She would probably think about the pressure against her cervix for the rest of her life, praying to God that she’d be able to experience this side of her husband for the rest of their lives together.
“What is it that you want, Lady Bridgerton? Tell me with words, my love, I want to hear you say it.” In this close position he could make sure she could look into his eyes to see he was genuine in this moment.
She was surprised at his stamina and determination tonight, focused more on her body than chasing his own release. A complete contrast to their wedding night, she felt like he treated the consummation as a chore. This was a much, much better experience. She had lost count of the times he had made her cum tonight, and the ways he had coaxed her orgasms from her.
“Anthony- Christ! Please don’t stop, want you to fuck me full til i’m round with your child-“ her voice was ragged and on the verge of giving out after not holding back a single sound. She didn’t care how pathetic she sounded begging for what seemed like the bare minimum from her husband.
Anthony leaned down to capture her lips in a messy kiss, reaching down to grab her hand that was tangled in the sheets beneath her. He caught any noises that escaped her, the sounds muffled against his own mouth, moving to hold her hand above her head. She clutched at his hand and whimpered his name as his hips stilled after a few sloppy thrusts, thick ropes coating her walls.
Anthony stayed put for a moment so as to not waste a drop, pulling his lips from hers before ghosting them over the hammering pulse in her neck. He gently maneuvered her pliable body into a resting position, slowly pulling himself from her and getting up from the bed.
After he had gently cleaned up the mess he had made of the woman, Anthony peppered soft kisses over her stomach as he made his way up to lay down next to her. She instantly curled into his chest and closed her eyes, taking her time in coming down from the cloud she was on. She could feel his fingers gently combing through her mussed hair, the sensation slowly bringing her back to earth.
“Are you alright, Lady Bridgerton?” Anthony spoke softly to not spook her, his arms locked safely around her keeping her pressed to his body. Her lips quirked into a smile and he took notice of the way her cheek dimpled, his thumb moving to stroke over the small impression.
“I am absolutely content, Lord Bridgerton.” She opened her eyes to look up at her husband’s face. Anthony smiled as he kissed her again, a kiss so tender that nearly brought tears to her eyes.
“I may not be the perfect husband, but I vow to do better by you. I will end things with Siena and tend to the parts of you that I’ve been neglectful of.” Anthony made a promise to her after he had pulled away. His wife reached up to grab his hand in hers, moving it to press a gentle kiss to his knuckles before she spoke.
“You can use all of the sweet words that you want, you’ll still have to prove yourself with actions.” She squeezed his hand gently, “But I think this has been good start.”
#anthony bridgerton x reader#bridgerton imagine#bridgerton fanfiction#anthony bridgerton#anthony bridgerton x you#anthony bridgerton x female reader#bridgerton fic#bridgerton#bridgerton season 1#Anthony Bridgerton smut#bridgerton smut
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snow white
kinktober, day fifteen
a/n: i really wanted to play around with a fairytale this kinktober season and i came up with maybe too many ideas for a bunch of different ones, but this one just stuck with me for months, so i had to go with this one.
summary: that was often how it was with your seven miners. In certain moments, they just became something else, something entirely different and much more ethereal than seven mortal men, but instead fused together into a sea of love that they let you float in.
warnings: snow white!reader x various, dark!prince!billy russo, miners!steve rogers, bucky barnes, thor odinson, miguel o'hara, marc spector, matt murdock, frank castle, dark content, smut, fairytale retelling, innocent!reader, references to loss of virginity, arranged engagement, assassination attempt, violence, poison apple, kidnapping, somno, polyamory, reverse harem, time jump (for domestic and slutty purposes), kissing, fingering, dirty talk, size kink, manhandling, overstimulation, oral, handjob, squirting, multiple orgasms, gangbang, penetrative sex, anal, double penetration, double penetration in one hole, unprotected sex, creampie, dark ending
word count: 6746
∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽
masterlist | join my taglist | kinktober 2024
Once upon a time, there lived a princess.
You, to be exact.
However, your day-to-day life, that wasn’t a part of you that one could define as something very regal, not lately, not since your father had died and left you in the hands of his late wife, a vain woman he had only married a short time prior to his passing.
There wasn’t much you were allowed to do any longer as your stepmother was perhaps a bit too overprotective of you in her own cold way, even though many of the chores the sea of servants that buzzed within the castle took care of, that for some reason wasn’t off limits to you, if not encouraged by the queen.
But it was all out of love, wasn’t it?
“Oh, there you are!” your gaze fluttered up to find the prim and familiar figure stalking towards you in the gardens, “what in the world are you doing out by this ghastly old well?”
“Prince William,” you stiffened up slightly at his presence and swiftly did a curtsy, “w-what are you doing here?”
“Ah, come on, Snow,” his palm brushed against the edge of the stone well, briefly cleaning it a bit before he leaned against it, “how many times do I have to tell you to call me Billy?”
“Your Highness,” you swallowed nervously, “I’m just not sure that would be completely appropriate. You deserve to be paid with the utmost respect.”
“Oh, I agree,” a sly smirk slithered across his chiselled features, “though, I do think my fiancé should be allowed just a little leniency.”
“Oh,” you put on a smile for the royal, “you got engaged? Congratulations! Is it to someone I know?”
“I’d sure hope so,” he grinned, and the next words that rolled off his tongue caused your face to drop, “it’s you.”
Blinking back at him, you couldn’t help but flinch as he stepped to get closer to you.
“…excuse me?” you breathed, your hand fluttering up to the neckline of your modest gown as you felt your heart begin to hammer in your chest.
“We’re to be married,” he caught your hand and kept on smiling, “I just sorted the last of the details out with your mother a few moments ago.”
“Stepmother,” you corrected him hazily before uttering, “I–… how come I didn’t know about any of this? Why didn’t anyone think to ask me what I wanted?”
Billy’s face then scrunched up at your question, as if it was the strangest of reactions to have at such news, “well you know now.”
“That’s–,” you stared back at him, your eyes wide and horrified before you ripped your arm back out of his hold, “no.”
“What?”
“No, I don’t wanna marry you,” the words flowed out of your lungs.
But to your astonishment, the prince of the neighbouring kingdom then only chuckled, “what do you mean you don’t want to marry me? Of course you do, everyone does.”
“Well, I don’t.”
Slowly, he seized your arm in a bruising grip before inching closer to you and leaning down to sternly whisper in your ear, “you better get rid of this attitude before you become my wife.”
The following week when the queen suggested that you go for a walk through the nearby woods, an activity you’d formerly thought to be banned as all your previous pleas throughout the years had failed, you nearly stumbled as you rushed to accept the opportunity.
Where this newfound kindness had come from that you had no clue of, though you weren’t going to argue now as the chains around you slowly began to slacken.
The queen’s protective nature for you stayed fast however when she sent a guard to accompany you, though one you’d never encountered before as you spent so much time in the castle that you knew all of the others by name. Perhaps he was just new?
Though when you eventually came upon a clearing and you decided to take a small break in that peaceful and serene glen, it all changed so quickly that you nearly got whiplash.
One moment, you were grinning up at the treetops, whistling back to the birds building a nest up there, and the next, the guard shadowing you had raised a dagger up high and lunged it down upon you. Thankfully, luck was for once on your side and you managed to twist just enough for it to miss your sternum and instead slice through your sleeve and cut your shoulder.
When you tried to run, a shrill scream erupting your frame, the knight caught your arm before you could manage to escape.
Though just as all hope seemed lost, when the dappled sunlight caught and reflected in the shiny blade as he rose it back up high, it never pierced your heart as a pickaxe instead suddenly appeared from out of nowhere, flying through the air and lodging itself right above the guard’s brow.
He stayed standing for a second, blood trickling down his face, before the warrior’s body fell backwards and collapsed on the forest floor.
Your frame shook like a leaf on the wind as you stood there, eyes wide with horror, watching his brain leak and stain the moss below your feet.
“Are you alright, my lady?” a deep voice called from behind you, though it still took you a moment before you were able to rip yourself out of your petrified state.
As you slowly twisted around, you saw seven men standing at the edge of the clearing, all of them except the blonde one in the middle with a pickaxe clutched in their hands.
“Are you hurt?” the miner missing his tool spoke again, taking a ginger step closer.
Still reeling, unable to fathom that you nearly just lost your life, you blinked, “I–… I–…” though just continued to stand there, frozen in the middle of the storm.
“You’re bleeding,” a dark-haired man further down the line uttered before the muddled confusion that bloomed on your horrified features caused him to gently gestured to your arm and guide your gaze down to your shoulder.
“O-oh…” you blinked back at the gash, though still couldn’t pierce through the fog to do anything more. As your glossy eyes flickered back up to gaze at your heroes, the woods around you began to spin as you then blubbered, “you saved me… I–… I–…” before the whole forest went black and you collapsed into a pair of quick arms.
“Wow, it’s alright,” a voice washed over you as soon as you came to, “you’re okay.”
After your eyes had found the source of the deep timbre, they then flickered around to take in the unfamiliar home you now found yourself in.
“Where am I?” you asked hesitantly as you sat up in the bed you’d been planted on. Looking around the space, it wasn’t the only one as the whole room was filled with enough sleeping arrangements for all of the strangers.
“Don’t worry, you’re safe,” the long golden locks on the man sitting by your feet rustled slightly as he raised up both hands in a gesture of goodwill, “you’re in our home,” he informed you before his neck twisted and he shouted out the open bedroom door, “hey guys! She’s awake!”
As the rest of the men from the forest began to filter into the dormitory, your legs curled up beneath the blanket and you swiftly hugged your knees to your chest.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” one of them asked in a careful tone.
“I–…” you felt your heart thump in your chest as your wide eyes danced between the burly figures, “what do you–, w-why did you take me with you?”
Taking a step forward, a dark-haired one said, “well, we couldn’t in good conscience just leave you back there and let you bleed next to your assassin,” he then tilted his head, “plus my healing supplies were all back here.”
As you glanced down to discover your slashed sleeve cut off and missing with a bandage instead wrapped around the ghastly cut on your upper arm, you then blinked back up at the stranger and asked, “you’re a healer?”
“No, not really, I’m a miner, we all are,” he gestured to the others.
“Yeah, we work in the mines out west on the other side of the village,” the one leaning against the doorframe shared.
You faintly recalled the mines they spoke of, though you hadn’t been out there since you were a child, the memory however of the glimmering jewels it produced still sparkled brightly in your mind.
“Hey, do you mind me asking,” the one standing beside the pickaxe-throwing blonde spoke, “why in the world would a royal guard want to kill you? I mean, forgive me if your looks are deceiving, but you look like just an innocent young girl.”
Averting your gaze to the quilted blanket draped over your form, you uttered, “it’s probably because my stepmother commanded him to…”
“Wow…” one of them breathed, “she has that kinda power? Then you must be, what–, some kind of lady?”
“Princess, actually,” you blinked up at them and watched as they all froze up, instantly growing so quiet that you would have been able to hear a single pin drop in the cottage, “thank you all so very much for saving me. I can’t even begin to fathom what would have happened if you hadn’t intervened.”
“Oh, well…” the blonde one in the middle shifted slightly, visibly nervous at the discovery of who you truly were, “you’re welcome, your–, uhm, highness.”
“Please, just call me Snow. That’s what everyone does,” you waved a hand and offered him a soft smile, “what are your names?”
“Well, I’m Steve,” the one who’d thrown the pickaxe pressed his palm to his broad chest, “and that there is Bucky, Thor and Marc,” he gestured to the other miners, “and that’s Matthew, Frank and Miguel.”
“Miguel,” you spoke the name of your healer, “thank you for patching up my arm.”
“Does it feel alright?” he glanced down at the bandage, he too clearly not having a clue how one should act around a royal, “because I could go get some herbs if you–”
“No, thank you, I think I’ll manage” you gently declined before uttering, “although, I–… what’s to happen now? I can’t just go back to the castle, I’d be dead within minutes.”
“Don’t you have anyone you trust somewhere else? Someone you could stay with?” the one named Matthew asked.
The only person your mind managed to scrounge up was the prince you’d been unwillingly promised to, and he wasn’t just an individual you didn’t trust, but also one you feared.
“No…”
“Uh…” Marc exhaled before his glance flickered across the rest, “would you excuse us for a moment?”
And as you offered a nod, they all filtered back out the bedroom and huddled up just outside the door, though you could still faintly catch a word or two in their discussion.
“Okay,” Steve crossed his burly arms across his chest when they all entered the room once more, “you can stay here for tonight, and then tomorrow we’ll help you come up with a plan.”
The following day, when all the miners had gone off to the mountains for the day’s work, they’d said their goodbyes before leaving you in the cottage, fully expecting you to no longer be there once they returned.
But you didn’t leave, you couldn’t have. Where would you have run off to?
So instead, to both try and convince the entire group of you staying, yet also in a makeshift attempt at thanking them for how they’d come to your aid, you spend the day cleaning their messy abode and welcoming them home to a dining table brimming with a roasted feast, a simple comfort none of them had seen in a while.
It had only been one of them who hadn’t instantly jumped onto the unanimous agreement to let you become a part of their household, but he swiftly received an elbow to the rib to help change his tune.
Not long passed before you soon grew close, and one night, after weeks of you experiencing a sensation you’d never even known existed, something unfamiliar that each and every one of them evoke and flooded your senses with, you finally couldn’t hold your tongue any longer as your innocence had begun to thrust you into the abyss of worry.
You still hadn’t received a permanent sleeping arrangement even though you’d been here for a while, each one of the miners still took turns letting you borrow one of their simple beds, all of them lined up along the perimeter of the shared bedroom, and let you rest there for the night while they took the humble couch.
So as you sat on your bed for the night and your gaze shadowed the men as finished getting ready for the night, shedding their clothing and washing up in a small basin by one of the windows, the unfamiliar feeling fluttered once more in your lower belly and drove you to part your lips and utter, “hey Miguel?” you caught the attention of the healer of the lot, “I think there might be something wrong with me…”
Patting his damp face dry with a small rag, he brought it down upon his shoulder as he furrowed his dark brows over at you, “why would you think that?”
Sucking in a sharp breath, you met his glance, “I feel strange…”
“Strange how?” he took a seat at the foot of the mattress you were curled up on, “explain it to me.”
“Well,” you began hesitantly, “ever since I got here, since I met you all, this weird feeling keeps bubbling up inside of me, like I’m about to faint or something, like I can’t think, and all I can focus on is just this odd tingling sensation almost, like–, I don’t know how to explain it, I know it sounds weird, but I swear, something’s going on, I don’t know what, but it’s weird.”
The man’s head then promptly tilted to the side and you heard him exhale, “oh, honey…”
Your explanation also caught the attention of the rest of the miners and even conjured a small laugh in some, though Steve swiftly stepped in and barked, “hey! Shut it!” rapidly putting a holt to Bucky and Marc’s amusement.
Placing a palm on your blanket-covered shin, Miguel then uttered gently, “I think what you’re describing isn’t something bad.”
“Are you sure?” you sat up a bit more.
“Positive,” he nodded, trying his best to keep a straight face unlike some of the men behind him who still struggled even after getting scalded.
“So, I’m not sick?”
“No,” he shook his head, “you’re not.”
“Your Highness,” Frank then spoke up, “have you never–, uhm, been with someone else?”
“What do you mean?” your brows knitted together.
“Okay, uh…” Thor sighed softly, taking your confusion as enough of an answer, “have you ever–, let’s say, kissedsomeone before?”
“Well, yeah, I’ve been kissed before,” your thoughts drifted to Prince Billy, though none of those times had stirred any sensations of this sort, “but I’ve never felt like this, not ever,” your gaze then danced between and caught each of the stares the seven miners directed at you, “what’s going on? Why are you all looking at me like that?”
“Have you touched yourself while you feel like this?” your eyes suddenly grew at Bucky’s bold question, “does your little honeypot get all wet from this feeling?” and when you found yourself too stunned to conjure an answer, he went on, this time with a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, “I mean, if you’d like, one of us could help you. Teach you how to make it feel better…”
“You know how to make it better?” you blinked back at him.
“Oh yeah,” his gaze dipped a bit as his grin grew wider.
“Do you want one of us to help you?” you then heard Steve offer.
And as your head began to rock in a soft nod, Marc asked, “which one do you want?”
But as you stared around at all of them, you murmured, “I–… I don’t know…”
“Just pick the one that gives you the most butterflies,” Matt tried to aid your decision, “the one that makes you feel like your heart lives between your thighs.”
“…do I have to pick?” you asked quietly as you blinked around at all of them, now clustered by the small bed, “couldn’t you all just help me?”
“…you want all of us to help you?” Miguel’s head dipped slightly as he tilted forward in surprise.
“At once?” Frank asked.
And as you offered them a nod, they all exchanged looks, silently agreeing before Steve uttered, “alright.”
With all of the miners surrounding the bed, they swiftly kneeled down on the floor in a half-moon around you before they began.
Before Marc, Thor and Frank the furthest from you grabbed a hold of the blanket draped over you and began to tug it down and let it crumble below your feet, Matt and Miguel to your right gently prepared you and began to undo your confusion.
Each of their touches were feathery in the beginning as their fingers ghosted over your frame. At first, it wasn’t even in that scandalous of places as Steve and Matt even continued to hold your hands long after the thin chemise you wore had been tugged at, the neckline pushed down to expose your boobs, heaving with every fierce breath you sucked in, and the skirts shoved up, letting the linen bunch well above your hips to uncover the place where the dizzying sensation peaked to unimaginable heights.
When the first touch fluttered between your legs, your eyes swiftly flickered up to find Bucky and Steve’s directly to your left as the pleasure was one you’d never even thought possible.
You rapidly melted into the bliss as lingering embarrassment faded away and you soon let them crack you open even further, folding up your legs to grant them all better access to your haven.
Even before your eyes fluttered closed, the job of deciphering which hand belonged to who was an impossible task. Floating in the sea of touches, not a millimetre of your skin was left unexplored, and neither were your untouched holes as they all turned you so molten that at one point everyone had at least one finger warm within you at once.
Four digits stretched out your lips and both gave your mouth something to drool around and also let your moans melt against their flesh. Three of them slipped in and worked in tandem to stretch out your virgin cunt. They’d even gotten you so relaxed that two managed to sneak a finger inside of your tight little ass, plugging you up completely.
And when the still unfamiliar high began to bubble within you and creep near, worry first began to billow out of you once more, though after some soothing sentences and an ask of trust, they carried you through the overwhelming ecstasy till you were trembling in their hands and begging them to grant you that gift one more time, like an addict, already craving that sweetness once again.
ONE YEAR LATER
“Ah-ha-ha!” Thor’s jovial rumble was the first sign you got that any of the fellows had returned after a day at the mines, “come here, princess!”
As he entered the cottage, arms spread out wide, he excitedly caught you in a hug and lifted you up as he swung you around till you became no more than an ethereal giggle in his hold.
“Oh, no,” you complained light-heartedly through your laugh as his stale smell of sweat mixed with soot flooded your senses, “you’re so dirty!” you tried to glance down at your dress to see if any of the grime from the mine had transferred.
Letting out a chuckle as he only tightened his hold around your frame, “you love it,” he tilted his head out of the crook of your neck and planted a kiss to your lips.
“You’re not–,” you continued your giggle even as his own mouth tried to smother the sound, “Thor, you need to bathe first.”
“Oh, really?” he cocked his head and slyly narrowed his eyes, “you sure you don’t wanna repeat the welcome home you gave me yesterday where you couldn’t wait? I mean, I could barely get in the door before you had your lips on me, struggling to fit my balls inside that little mouth of yours?”
His lips first pressed against your now hot cheek before they wandered across in a straight line down to your own, not simmering down his eagerness even as the rest of his fellow miners began to filter into the cabin.
“Oh, so that’s why you ran ahead,” Marc’s sigh caused you to break the peck, “of course.”
Still entangled in Thor’s strong arms, you glanced over at the familiar men who crossed the threshold and slowly began to set down their tools and peel off their muddy boots.
“Heya, boys,” a warm bubble burst within you as you flashed them all a smile. Attempting to slip out of the burly hug, Thor still kept his palm interlocked in your own as you made your way around through the crowd and began to greet the others, “how was the mine today?”
“It was fine,” Frank muttered in your ear when you hugged him.
And as your free arm lastly found Steve’s broad shoulder in an embrace, his low voice tickled the side of your neck as he exhaled, “hi Snow.”
“Hi,” you pressed a soft kiss to his bearded cheek.
As you retracted and let Thor pull you back against his warmth, Miguel asked, “so, what’s for dinner tonight?” as Thor leaned back against the sturdy dining table and dragged you with him, half planting you in his lap as he leaned you back against him.
Though as the softness of your bottom came to rest against the miner’s pelvis, a palpable hardness distracted you even through the layers of your dress, “uhm, I’ve got a lentil stew going over the fire,” your breathing began to grow unsteady as he discreetly grinded you down against his desperation, “it should be done soon.”
“Good,” Miguel smiled, haven not yet noticed the nefarious activities that had begun right under his own nose, “I’m starving.”
“What else have you gotten up to today?” Matt asked as he sat down on the bench where Marc had already planted himself, “did you begin that book we were talking about?”
“I–, uh, I started it, but I didn’t get that far,” your words became a struggle to form as you tried to fight through the fog Thor thrust you into, “ended up taking a nap instead.”
“Well, that’s good,” Bucky noted, “you were tossing and turning so much last–,” though his sentence then promptly crumbled as a soft whimper finally slipped out past your lips and drew his attention to the way Thor’s hands on your hips subtly rocked you down against him, “seriously?” he swiftly scalded him, “you couldn’t keep it in your pants for even two seconds?”
“Right,” Thor scoffed, “like I'm the only one who’s desperate,” he then buried his grasp in your skirts and before you had the chance to protest, picked it up to prove his point.
It was frankly a bit embarrassing how wet you already were, though when Thor grabbed ahold of your thighs and lifted you up, your back plastered against his chest as his hold on you spread you wide for all to see, your cunt couldn’t help but drool for them so fiercely that even the one furthest away from you could catch a glimpse of the glimmer glinting back at him in a lewd plea.
“Hm…” Bucky hummed warmly as he kneeled down before you, though only let his palm come up to ghost against your inner thigh and didn’t grant you the sweet relief of petting your pussy as she cried out for his touch, “your Highness, are you sure it wasn’t something else you were doing all day while we were off at work?”
“I–,” an airy chuckle innocently escaped your lungs, “what are you implying?”
“Well, either you were too impatient to wait for us,” you sucked in a breath as his hand finally drifted up to offer your core the softest of pets, teasing you further into madness, “or just the mere sound of the front door opening got you dripping the way that you are right now…”
“So, which is it, princess?” Frank smirked, arms crossed as he leaned back against the wall beside the fireplace, “are you a whore or is it just for us?”
“You already know the answer to that…” you hazily smiled, though swiftly let out a whimper as Bucky removed his hand, denying you of any further pleasure. However, before you could part your lips in a complaint, Thor set you back down on your now wobbly feet.
Your gaze found Steve’s as he took a seat beside Marc, unlike the rest of the men who began to swarm around you, their broad hands swiftly reaching for your dress. It nearly didn’t even get the chance to drop back down and cover you from how Thor had torn it up, before they nearly ripped it to shreds.
And when no fabric was left to conceal your frame, your moment with your feet on the ground turned out to be more fleeting than you’d thought as both Frank and Miguel then shifted to stand behind you and their grasps found your form, first guiding your arms around their necks for support before they plucked you up.
As Matt stepped up and seized your flaming cheeks to dip his lips down to yours, a whisper then washed over you as the sweet kiss ended, “can I have a taste?” and as your head began to nod, your nose momentarily nuzzled against his own before his knees buckled.
Both Thor and Bucky enveloped a hand around your ankles, keeping you spread wide even as Matthew dropped down and made you squirm as his hot breath fanned across your glistening core.
As your lips parted in a gasp, staring down at Matt as he dipped down to kiss your puffy pearl, in your periphery you just managed to spot how everyone’s free hand had found the tent in their pants, squeezing it for an ounce of relief as they watched you intently.
When Matt’s tongue lapped through your petals, it wasn’t till he tilted his chin and sucked your clit into his mouth that your gaze fluttered up to find Marc’s across the room.
“O-oh, fuck,” you moaned into the cottage, “I need–, I–, I need more–,” the plea left your lips as you tried to keep your stare lock. Though the love pecks felt incredible, it was bordering the line of crude torture, only tickling at your senses and not granting you the sweet relief the deepest depths of you yearned for so fiercely.
It seemed like an eternity that Marc took to get up from his seat and actually cross the small room, though when he did, his palm briefly patted Matthew’s shoulder and caused the kisses to cease.
“How much more, princess?” Marc asked as Matt got up and let him switch places.
Though when your answer came in the form of your gaze dropping to his hard length, freed and heavy in his tight fist, one of the men holding you up murmured in your ear, “you want him to fuck you, huh? Is that what you want?” Frank’s deep timbre seeped directly into your bones as his lips dipped down to nip at your neck.
“Uh-huh,” you nodded hazily, keeping your eyes glued as Marc stepped up and briefly swept the bulbous head of his cock through your folds.
For a second, you thought it had been Marc himself who had slowly thrust his entirety inside of you, though in actuality when Miguel and Frank’s hold on you tightened, they’d been the ones to tilt your body just as the girth caught your entrance, and lower you down on it in one fell motion.
“There you go, Snow,” Bucky breathed as your eyes fluttered at the stretch. Halting his palming of himself, Bucky’s hand soothingly swept up the length of you till it found your tit and cupped it gently, his calloused thumb stretching up to flick against your pebbly nipple and get your eyes to blink back open.
Marc’s efforts were purposely slow and he gently began to warm you up for what you expected was in store. Though on one of his long and deep strokes, plunging all the way inside of your little pussy before yanking himself out completely, you only blinked and when your eyes fluttered back open, it wasn’t Marc’s cock that was buried deep within you, but instead the last man to join the fray.
“S-Steve, o-oh!” your head tilted back slightly as his fat girth split you open.
“Oh, how do you always feel better than I recall?” Steve groaned, the tip of him already bumping against your cervix.
“It’s that fucking princess pussy,” Thor grunted, “I swear it’s like magic or something.”
“No matter how many of us try and fit inside of you at once, we just can’t ruin you,” Miguel kissed your cheek, “you just snap right back and we have to stretch you all the way back out again.”
Steve, Marc and Matt before you then took turns, fucking you slowly and building a rhythm till they became like a river, each of them only sinking in and letting their balls tap against your slick skin before they pulled back out and let the other one take a dive. As the silky pattern pushed you closer to the peak and made you dazed out of your mind, you stopped being able to tell who was fucking you when, as they all just flowed together and worked your body as one soul being. That was often how it was with your seven miners. In certain moments, they just became something else, something entirely different and much more ethereal than seven mortal men, but instead fused together into a sea of love that they let you float in.
Once your first of many orgasms washed over you and rocked through your soul, your body was set back down, though only for a mere moment before Bucky picked you up into his arms and carried you with him as he lowered himself onto one of the long benches that stretched out on either side of the dining table.
As he settled you atop of him and slipped inside your still throbbing cunt, your head tilted up in the direction of the men whose hard lengths were still glistening with your juices and your hands fluttered up to motion for them, grabbing for their girths, way before your fingers could reach them, though when they did, Steve didn’t let your touch linger on himself but instead plucked up your face and parted your lips with his cock, letting your hands take care of Matt and Marc on either side of him while he gently fucked your mouth.
“Oh, shit,” Frank then appeared before you, wedging himself in beside Steve’s bulky form, “share some of that sugar,” his palm found your cheek and stroked it softly. As your lips left Steve with an audible pop, Frank’s fingers drifted up to bury themselves in your locks before he guided you to him and groaned as he finally felt you swallow his cock, “yes…”
However, what you didn’t expect was how Steve’s hand too fluttered up to tangle itself in the other side of your hair before they both took over your head’s movements, passing you back and forth between the both of them, though only granting themselves one long bob at a time.
When a pair of fingers softly swept over the last of your holes, your eyebrows knit together at the familiar teasing.
“What do you say, Snow?” you heard Thor utter from behind you as he brought his palm down to smack the curve of your ass, watching intently as Miguel’s fingertips rub against you, only shyly dipping inside the hole just above where Bucky split you open, “exactly how much more are you in the mood for today?”
And when you took your chance to catch your breath, you shot back your needy answer through your heaving intakes of air, “all of it.”
It wasn’t till Miguel let out a gravelly groan that you knew which one had gotten the chance to claim your ass first. When a dollop of his spit landed upon your skin, his thumb wasted no time to soar up and rub it in, swiping over your little rosebud as it stretched to take his girth.
The task of keeping up your attention to the four miners at your head became an impossible task as they gave your mouth a break for your breathless moans to flow freely and they instead came to your aid and helped guide your hands around to grant them all a bit of affection.
With both of your holes snuggly filled up, you felt yourself near the edge once more, though it was Thor who pushed you over it as his hand coiled around your waist and snaked down to find your swollen clit in a lavish pattern.
Though when you buried your face in the crook of Bucky’s neck and trembled between his and Miguel’s burly forms, Thor’s touch dissipated and though you half expected him to join the rest up top, it still didn’t manage to surprise you what he opted for instead.
“Holy shit!” you shakily gasped, your palm nearly slapping Bucky in the chest as you felt Thor angle himself behind you and press his cock in beside Miguel’s, who’s dick was already more than enough for you to handle on its own.
“Shh,” Bucky tilted your chin down for you to catch his eye, “don’t act like this is your first time, princess,” he kept his own pace selfish as the silky wall parting him from the rest grew thinner than ever, “you can take it,” his palm tapped your cheek lightly as he smiled at how you overcame the staggering sensation, “just as you always do.”
And take it you did, soon gushing all over them as the three miners emptied themselves into your holes, pumping you full and leaving you a leaky mess for the remainder to enjoy while they all found a seat to relax in and watch you descend further into madness.
It was Frank who then flipped your molten form around, planting himself on the very same bench, and twisted you around for your back to be melting down against his front. He slipped in effortlessly as the two loads that dripped out of your ass aided his fat girth as he buried himself completely, fucking the other miner’s cum that much deeper inside your utterly wrecked hole.
“How’s she doing, huh?” Steve asked as he and Matthew stepped up between your parted legs, his fingers coasting down to spread open and inspect your pussy as it too leaked, “you think she can take a bit more? You think she can take on the two of us?” he briefly pumped two of his fingers into your quivering hole as he awaited your answer.
“I–, you can try,” you panted, hazily blinking down at how Matt’s digits too came down between your thighs and began to draw rude patterns over your puffy pearl, “I don’t know if I can do it, but you can try.”
“Atta girl,” Matt flashed you a smile before each of their touches was traded out for something much more overwhelming.
With Marc as the last one remaining above your head, he stayed patient and simply stood there, stroking your hair and even dipping down to press his lips to your cheek as your poor pussy struggled to take the two cocks your loves attempted to ease in there. Though, when your eyes widened at the eventual success, the man behind you only let you stare at the severe stretch a moment before he tilted your head back, supporting it with both of his hands as you caught on and parted your lips for him.
As he fucked your face, one of his hands briefly swept down to your throat as he fed you more of his length and spotted how a dull bulge of him appeared each time you gagged around his girth.
You felt as if you’d slipped into a trance by the time everyone had gotten the chance to cum inside your sweetness, yourself falling apart around them enough times that you lost count. Though even so, as you layed there, various burly men enveloping your half-continuous form in their warmth, your eyes blinked open and spotted the few who’d gotten the privilege to go first and how they’d at some time grown hard once again and were now pumping their cocks in their fists, with all of their greedy gazes glued on you.
The seven miners always warned you to be careful while they were off at work and you were all alone in the secluded cottage. Even though it was located in the middle of the woods, they still advised you not to open the door for anyone, not even if their looks deceived you.
You should have heeded those warnings the day when an old hag knocked at the cabin door, because she didn’t turn out to be just a sweet old lady as you had thought when you first spotted her through the window, dark cloak drawn up over her grey hair as she clutched onto a heavy basket of apples in one arm and thumped her free fist against the front door.
All she’d asked for had been a sip of water, one your kindness couldn’t deny her of.
Though your gravest mistake came when you accepted her seemingly kind offer of gratitude in the form of one of her apples, because when you sank your teeth into the crisp red fruit, the produce suddenly turned rotten in your grasp, granting you a brief glance of the truth, of the potent poison it withheld, before the effects took ahold and cast you into an eternal slumber.
The enchanted sleep however wasn’t like the one you’d heard tales about as it in truth only shut down your body as the rest of your senses still stayed awake, alert and aware as ever to the things around you, though forever helpless to whatever could occur.
When your dear miners returned that day, the sight that found them utterly broke them all.
And when they discovered that you’d received a fate worse than death, a few of them had to lean on superstition in order to cope.
Though superstition was what superstition often is, just a fairytale.
No matter how many of them attempted to press their lips to yours, you stayed asleep as true love’s kiss turned out to be no more than a bedtime story.
That’s how you ended up in a blossoming glen, not far from the cottage that had grown to become your home, encased in a glass coffin.
But that’s also how he found you again…
Prince Billy had been on a hunting trip the day he stumbled over the clearing you rested in, his deepest desires he’d assumed forever lost, so perfectly on display for him in the middle of the woods and with no one to stop him from taking you with him back to his castle. You had been his fiancé after all, so if your fate as his wife included you being a little less of an active participant than you’d been previously, then so be it. He could be content with you as nothing but a living doll… in fact, perhaps the royal even preferred it…
© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble
#lea’s writing#kinktober#kinktober 2024#steve rogers smut#bucky barnes smut#thor odinson smut#billy russo smut#miguel o'hara smut#marc spector smut#matt murdock smut#frank castle smut#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes x reader#billy russo x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#marc spector x reader#matt murdock x reader#frank castle x reader#princess!reader ᰔ#thor odinson x reader
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⋆⋅☆max v. with a trans masc partner☆⋅⋆
max verstappen knew what he liked. while he usually put the front as a heterosexual man, he had always been a little more fluid about his sexuality outside of the limelight. he had kissed many men in his life as with women, even those who were neither men nor women. kissing was fun, sex was fun. and he wasn't going to limit himself to one set of tools to get the job down. a cock down the throat could be as delightful as sinking into a sweet pussy.
so it was more of a surprise for you to receive max's advances than it was for him to give them.
you remembered when you grandmother told you that she was concerned about you transitioning because you may "never find love" and you told her that it didn't matter. cars were your love, you didn't need a person to fill that gap. so when you met the three time world champion as the new mechanic for the 2024 season, you honestly didn't think too much about wooing him romantically.
but, max was wooed by you. especially when he saw that your lockscreen of your phone was a picture of your two cats, and when he brought up his cats, you just lit up. max liked that you treated him like he was a person. and you simply said, "mate, i'm pretty certain they don't let robots drive these cars." then slapped him on the back, "but i will make you bleed red if you total my car." then flashed him a smile.
you remembered the first time max kissed you. the dutch grand prix had been a total success and within the quietness of the garage post-race with the trophy max had won near by. he took you by the waist and kissed you. he'd later admit that he wanted to do it right on the track.
"do you kiss all your mechanics like that, verstappen?"
"no, only the ones who allow me to win." you two had spent almost the entire season bitching about red bull. max wondered if or when he eventually jumped teams, if he could take you with him. as he held you in his arms. chest to chest.
you admitted close to his ear, a little insecure, "i hope you know. i've built myself... i was born a girl, but became something more. different." then tried to pull back, fearful of his response. you weren't trying to trick him, you'd rather have it on the table.
but he pulled you back in, his blue eyes on you, "you act like i don't know what transgender people are, mechanic." he said as he leaned you back a little, to get a fuller look at you, "you act like i've never been to bed with one."
"i don't want to be a one night stand." you said, your hands on the front of his polo shirt. his hat long hit the floor in the heat of the kiss. you swallowed, "i won't be a toy, verstappen. i have too much respect for myself."
he chuckled, "that's what i like to hear." he held you around the waist and you kissed once more. he could feel the rise in his blood pressure. while you could've easily done it in the garage, max gave you the address of where he was staying and the lie to tell security.
the mechanics team were in another hotel, but if you wore your red bull branded uniform and had your mechanic's pass then you'd get in easily. they'd never suspect that you'd be intimate with the star of the team. and you did just that. even flashing a smile at security before you headed up to the elevator. they didn't even ask questions, which made your life easier.
you found max's room and he happily brought you in. but once the door was closed behind you. his strong arms were around you. he smiled at you, happy to see you. you carefully touched his face, part of you believed this was a strange dream after too many rum and cokes. but as you felt his facial hair under your hand, this was all painfully real.
"do you want this?" he asked.
you nodded and responded with a question of your own, "do you?"
his smile grew a little more, he leaned in closer to you. you only now realized how blue his eyes were, "since the moment i saw you come to the garage. you were more impressed with the car than with me... i found it endearing." he chuckled.
you held his face with both hands and gazed at him, "yeah, because it's a piece of shit car for a champion. it's like giving the king aluminum instead of gold."
he laughed before he leaned in for a kiss. you held his face close to yourself and you felt something bloom in your gut. eventually you got your worn sneakers kicked off and the jacket of your uniform off. it left you in a white t-shirt and max started to strip as well. you eyed his form and he eyed yours.
you felt his heated gaze linger on your chest for a moment and without thinking you crossed your arms across where your top surgery scars were. it was habit at that point.
max was in just his jeans and socks. he reached for your arms. feeling your warm under his palm as he carefully moved your arms away. he wanted to admire you, all of you.
"must've felt very different after the surgery." he said as he held your wrists, his eyes gazed on the fading scars. he was in no way to judge about scarring. at least yours were for something worthwhile, to change yourself in such a fundamental way, "was it scary?"
you shook your head, "no... i wanted to do everything afterwards. my doctor basically put me on bed rest because i was trying to push myself too hard. what was a four week recovery turned in seven."
he placed his hands on your flat chest and could feel the slight raise of the scars under his palms, "you push yourself too hard."
you swallowed, feeling the heat in your cheeks, "if you want to be the best. you have to do more than your best." your gaze met his. it felt so painfully intimate. this wasn't just sex in a hotel room, this was intimacy. max wanted more than your body, he wanted to know all the nooks of your soul and what inhabited them.
he leaned in once more, "we have that in common." before he kissed you once more. his kiss was sweeter, an assurance that you and your body were nothing to be ashamed of. if anything he admired it, even though he couldn't relate to the feelings you carried. he could at least understand the guts it took to go through it.
to become more than you what was given to you. it endeared you to him as you broke the kiss and continued to get undressed. the more of your bodies exposed to one another, the hotter the room got. even with the air conditioning rattling in the room. you could feel the heat between you two.
max sighed, "i don't have condoms... i can pull out or we can do something else." he explained as he got into the bed with you. both naked. his broad hand grazed across your body.
you responded and placed his hand on your lower abdomen, right before your pussy, "hysterectomy. six months before i started. are you clean though?"
he replied, "yes. been a long time since i've been with someone anyway." he was telling the truth. since you started at the season, everything had become a blur with you and the championship being a central focus.
his pointer finger trailed across the scar for a moment before he took your face in his hands and kissed you once more. you could go on about the shape of your face, but in his hands it felt very small. you hadn't realized that max verstappen had paws instead of hands. the thought made you giggle a little into the kiss.
he pulled away and looked at you before he laid you out on your back. he asked with a small smile, "what are you laughing about?"
you looked up at him and said, "didn't realized that formula one drivers had such big hands. every seen them up close like this before." then yelped a little when max grabbed you by the hips and pushed himself up against you.
he curved his back over you and maintained eye contact, those blue eyes were swimming with lust, "well. it's good you haven't seen others this close up. i might get a little jealous."
you looked away for a moment with a stupid grin on your face, "okay, flirt. why don't we get to it before i melt into this bed." then a soft moan left your lips as he rubbed his cock up against your wet cunt.
he admired you for a moment, hoping the image of your naked body stayed with him for weeks to come. you looked masculine. he wasn't going to say "technically" it's not having sex with a man. you were a man just as much as he was if not more. you had to create your manhood and you made it to perfection.
"i want you." you said softly.
he leaned forward and kissed you gently on the lips before he eased his cock into you. he replied with an equal softness, "i want you too, mechanic." the nickname made your ears hot as he moved against you. he thrusts were gently but gained a steady momentum.
you held onto the covers under your back and let him move against you. once you got a hold of his rhythm, you were able to meet his movements as well. the kisses you two shared grew hot as max planted both hands on either side of you and moved.
you two were moving against one another, locked in a heated kiss. the bed shifted slightly under your movements. max was thankful that were was not a bed on the opposite side of the wall. and that this place had enough insulation to keep your noises muffled.
the last thing he wanted was your integrity to come into question. that you only got to where you were because of your seductive ways. the noises between you two were soft. there was no need to rush, the race was over and tomorrow you'd be on the flight to the next one.
he took your hands and held them by your head, which kept you two close but also allowed him to keep you pinned under him. when you broke the kiss, you rested your forehead against his. the noises were harder to keep under wraps the more you moved. the pleasure felt like fireworks in your brain.
you moaned a little bit before you said, "i was thinking something stupid."
max chuckled his sweaty forehead against yours, "tell me."
"i realized what your eyes remind me of." you admitted softly, "i couldn't quite pin it after we met." you were breathing heavily as you locked your fingers further with his.
"and what do they remind of you?" he asked, curiously. he had heard people refer to them like the ocean, the sky after a store, the definition of blue.
you replied, "home. the lake near where i lived. not scary like the ocean. familiar like the lakes i grew up near."
max had no words, he simply laid another kiss on you. his hands grasped your tightly as you two moved together more. the pace quickened and max knew that he wanted to be in your life for a long period of time. he wanted you to be his home.
you moaned against the kiss, feeling the heat leap in your belly as you felt closer to orgasm. you came first with your lips against his. your back arched but your hands were pinned to the bed. it felt good as pleasure rushed to your brain.
max broke the kiss and continued to move against you. he let go of your hands in favour of your hips where he bounced your further against his cock. it made crackles of pleasure appear in your brain. and he was no better, his heavy breathing and occasional moan fueled his need to finish. and when he did, he did so inside of you. max never thought too much about the surgery you had, but he was thankful for it tonight.
he stayed inside of you for a moment as he cooled down before he left a kiss on the corner of your mouth. full of such tenderness as he pulled out of you and ran his fingers through his short hair.
you laid out next to him and heavily panting, feeling so vulnerable. he stayed closer to you, eventually pulling you to him and resting his chin on top of your head. you got comfortable against him.
"if you have any questions, i can answer them... about the whole trans thing." you swallowed, even now you felt embarrassed bringing it up. you felt it was a mood killer.
he took you by the chin and made you face him. he smiled down at you. he asked one question, "are you happy? did you get the life you wanted?"
you nodded in response, "everything and more." and that was enough for max. anything else you felt the need to tell him would be told with time, after all, max expected to be in your life for many years to come. both as his mechanic and lover.
-
max would only come clean about the relationship two years later. the end of his contract with red bull and a final championship was enough for the driver to retire peacefully. and when he retired, you retired and you made a home in monaco.
the coming out post set the internet ablaze. especially given how long you two had been together. wasn't anything too special, just a small collection of photos that he had taken over your time together. like the time you wore his helmet in 2025 with a big thumbs up. and that time you thoroughly messed up a birthday cake for him, and with the camera in your face, he rubbed the icing off your cheek. the one that really captured eyes was the one that a friend took of you at a house party when max came to visit your home country, with his legs over your strong lap and his lips against your face. you were smiling like the sun. being the center of a media storm was only braved with max by your side. at one point turning your phone off and throwing it onto the couch. his kisses were still loving as always, his words soft, and his affirmations of your gender were often so sweet that you'd cover your face in embarrassment.
you were always comfortable with the idea of not meeting your 'other half', you had been given a second chance at life once you came out. and if no one could accept you then so be it. but as you laid out on the couch laid out against your boyfriend with sassy at your side and your cat between the crook of your knee, you felt loved. <3
a/n: i do write for masc readers as well, both cis and beyond. just not as often because many request femme readers. but if an idea is cooking in your head. hit me with it!
#bunny writes#trans reader#trans male reader#f1 x male reader#reader insert#formula one imagine#formula 1#formula one smut#formula one fanfiction#f1 smut#formula 1 fic#formula 1 rpf#formula one#formula 1 fanfic#f1 rpf#f1 x reader#f1#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen smut#max verstappen#mv33 drabble#mv33 x male reader#mv1 smut#mv1 x reader#mv1#mv33 x reader#mv33 smut
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∙ 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘺 ∙
Dark!Paul atreides x pregnant fem reader
(Smut included)
• pt2 •
࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎
Only one day after Paul’s near death experience, there was more drama, 𝗢𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲. Since Paul drank the water of life, he had been slightly 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁..
He was very, very protective over you. He always had been, but after waking up from your tears, he was worse. It had only been a day, and you were already becoming tired of it.
This morning, as you walked around the temple, some Fremen came up to you, greeting you and taking your hand into their own. Although this had happened to you multiple times now, you still became uncomfortable and scared. They saw you as their queen. You were their messiahs lover.
Paul, out of nowhere came walking up behind you, immense power in his walk, putting fear on the men holding your hand.
He wakes straight up to you, ripping their hands from yours
“la talmasuha.” ( don’t touch her ), he spat wrapping his arm around your waist. The two men ran away quickly.
“Paul…they weren’t trying to hurt me” you said softly.
“My love, whether they were or not is not the point. No one is allowed to touch you.” He said, his voice darkening at the last part.
You huffed, your face scrunching up in annoyance, before looking at him, your frown faltering slightly. 𝗗𝗮𝗺𝗻 𝗶𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺.
He pulled you into a hug, his hands going to your bump, which was now quite big. You sighed into the hug, leaning your head on his shoulder.
“How’s our son?” He asked smiling.
You laughed lightly “our son is fine, full of energy though. Woke me at all hours from kicking” you huffed.
Paul laughed at your words “just like his father” he said pulling away slightly, to place a kiss on your bump. He pulled away, giving your forehead a kiss.
“Come with me” he said, taking your hand in his leading you to the room full of Fremen. They had all been praying there since yesterday. Once Paul told everyone that the prophecy was true, they went crazy, praying immediately. He gently led to to the room slowly, knowing your body was tired.
As you two made your way through the crowds, the Fremen praised to themselves, touching you and Paul on the shoulders. It was all lovely, until one of the men on your right kneeled beside you, placing his hands on either side of your swollen belly, which was covered with a sunset orange dress.
Paul whipped his head around as soon as he felt you stop, but when he saw that man with his hands all over you, he couldn’t control himself.
“kayf tajru ealaa lamsiha.” ( don’t you dare touch her). He yelled at the men, shoving him off of you.
“Paul!” You screeched as he shoved the man.
He said nothing as he took you in his arms again bringing you into the centre of the room with him, you two stepping up into what looked like a little stage.
Before speaking he turned around to you “ (y/n), if anyone ever touches you again, you tell me” he ordered, before turning with you to face everyone.
You stepped back a little, leaning against his side, not liking everyone looking at you. You buried your face in the back of his shoulder, hoping he didn’t do something too stupid.
Paul began speaking to everyone in the Fremen language, you understood some bits.
“I am paul Mua’dib atreides, Duke of Arrakis!” you heard him say in English. You stared at him, shocked at his confidence and power. But….you kind of liked it.
He turned and looked at you taking your hands in his. “hal yatamanaa 'ahadukum 'an takun zawjatuka?” He yelled at the audience
(Do any of you wish she was your wife?)
You stared as many looked away in fear and respect. He looked at you before continuing.
“an takun kadhalik abdan. 'iinaha tahmil tifli. milki” he told them, a dark anger in his tone. (She never will be. It’s my child she carries. Mine)
He continued on threatening other men, telling everyone he was the messiah and he would make Arrakis dune again. He also boldly said he’d make a claim for the emperors throne. This made you smile, these people deserved to live in their own planet without suffering.
After a few more minutes, Paul left the room bring you with him. You two spoke about plans on the way to your room.
Once there he helped you out of your dress, into a night dress. You lay on your bed, waiting for Paul to join you. Once he did, you turned and lay your head on his chest.
“Paul do you promise to stay with 𝗨𝘀 forever?” You asked, your hand on your belly. Fear in your voice.
“Of course my love. Why do you ask?” He said tucking some hair around you ear, away from your face.
You looked down “well..I don’t know I mean, you might be emperor and well..you might not want me anymore” you said your eyes filling with tears.
“(Y/N), you don’t seem to understand. I’ve seen my future, 𝗢𝘂𝗿 future. You are meant to rule along side me. Wel belong together, forever” he said kissing you softly.
“Promise?” You asked as he wipped your eyes.
“I promise sweetheart” he said leaning down and kissing you passionately. He pulled you up a bit, leaning in deeper.
“Mhm Paul” you whispered as his kisses went down your neck slowly.
“What, you want more?” He teased kissing you.
You nodded into the kiss, your hands going to his dark curls. His hands traveled all over you as he kissed you passionately.
Eventually, his hand went underneath your night dress and he slipped his finger into your panties. He teasing traced his fingers over your aching core.
“Paul!” You yelled out with a pout.
He smirked before slipping a finger inside you, kissing you as you moaned out loudly, he moved in in and out while his other hands traveled under you night dress, to your breasts.
You begged him for more, tears swelling in your big eyes. He obliged undressing as well.
He carefully slid inside you, both of you moaning out in pleasure. He pulled your night dress down slightly to have access to your perky breasts. He sucked them while pumping in and out of you.
You both rocked your hips, your bodies moving together like one, as you kissed passionately. Eventually you found yourself coming close to your climax.
“Paul I’m gon- I’m gonna cum” you whispered.
“Me too sweetheart” he said in your ear. A moment later you both came undone, him inside you.
You yelled out loudly, pleasure erupting from inside you.
“Thats right, you let them know your mine” he growled.
After you both came down from your high, he cleaned you up and gently slid your night dress onto you properly, while redressing himself.
“I love you Paul” you whispered before falling asleep on his chest.
“I love you too” he whispered back, watching you as you drifted off to sleep, his hands wrapped around your bump. Although his prophecy was long and full of adventure, 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝗳𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁.
࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎
I’ll try to do pt3 soon too!!
#paul atreides x reader#paul atreides x reader yandere#dune 2#dune part two#fanfiction#sci fi and fantasy#paul atreides#chani kynes#stilgar#timothee chalamet x reader#dune movie#paul atredies x reader#smut
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Unrequited
Logan Howlett x mutant fem!reader
summary: Your deep-seated fear of rejection is the only barrier preventing you from kissing the smug grin off of Logan's face. Thankfully, Logan can smell how much you want him. *reader's power is optimism, which Logan loves distrusts. warnings: MDNI, no use of y/n, smut, age gap, reader is 21+, masturbation (fem!), scent kink, oral (fem!receiving), voyeurism, size difference, pussy worship, praise kink, pet names (sunshine, bub, doll, good girl), mention of unprotected p in v, using Logan's hair as handlebars. wc: 3.2k
Your world used to revolve around men. Now, your life revolves around the duty of saving it. If yearning for boys who never liked you back was an Olympic sport, you'd definitely win gold.
Everyone was in a good mood, having just returned from a government-sanctioned mission. The world needs the X-Men. You belonged to a community that respected your unique abilities. Powers aside, you were still a young woman yearning for romance. You forgot how it felt to be embarrassingly invested in a one-sided crush until you met Logan.
Your first mission seemed simple enough: act like Logan's arm candy for the night to investigate New York's elusive anti-mutant club. Memorize the names of club members, hide a mic in the manager's coat. In and out.
Unfortunately, Logan was more focused on how high the cut of your dress was. The unforgiving pink latex material suffocated your soft body and exaggerated the protruding curves of your breasts. As Charles described it, you needed to look like a liberated woman. The manager had a soft spot for confidence, and Charles explained that power attracts power.
Logan wished his hard cock was liberated from the uncomfortable friction caused by his slacks. That night, he learned that beauty truly is pain.
He watched as you glided around the room, earning lustful stares from the human members. Logan was ordered to blend into the crowd and allow you to complete the mission. His usual stoic demeanor was replaced with a charged, jealous glare.
"You're compromising the mission, Logan. I thought I taught you better," Charles tutted. His bald mentor checked in on their progress using cerebro's telepathic power.
Logan swatted his forehead, momentarily disoriented at the intrusion of Charles.
"Not my fault you put miss goody two-shoes in that god-awful dress," he snarled. "She's out of her element, and you know it."
"Her powers are extremely useful in this situation," Charles sighed. "You may not trust her, but her bubbly personality is the key to securing the club's trust. Just let her work . . . alone."
When the pressure in his head subsided, Logan knew that Charles no longer supervised the unholy thoughts bouncing against the adamantium confines of his brain.
He drifted to the bar and sat down, positioning the stool so he could maintain visual of your progress. Your kind eyes crinkled as you laughed and playfully swatted the manager's bicep. He painfully recalled the moment you revealed your powers to the group.
A month earlier, the X-Men gathered in the danger room to discuss how to approach the mission.
"The manager is emotionally vulnerable at this time. Surrounded by humans whose lives revolve around hate and mutant discrimination." Charles rubbed his temple to alleviate his anger.
"What is the opposite of hate?" Charles asked, turning his colleagues into students once again.
Logan rolled his eyes. "Please tell me it's not love, for Christ sakes."
"Optimism. The enemy of hate is hopefulness. Now, everyone, please give a warm welcome to our newest recruit." Charles gestured to a woman who was the physical embodiment of those girly 90s rom-coms Logan secretly enjoyed.
Her smile reached her eyes, symbolizing genuine happiness. She sported a vintage Talking Heads tee with an image of a lopsided smiley face. Logan's eyes drifted to the tiniest shorts he's ever seen, stopping just under the swell of your ass. Its whimsical star pattern complimented your sparkling teeth.
"Hey, guys. I'm so grateful to be here!" You cheered. Logan could tell you caught him staring by the sudden change in your demeanor.
Rubbing the back of your neck, you timidly explained, "Sorry about the get-up. My uniform's not ready yet."
Logan watched as you surveyed the room, eyes silently acknowledging Jean, Ororo, Scott, and Beast.
You confidently returned Logan's gaze with a dismissive scoff.
Logan found himself inexplicably drawn to your cheeriness. Usually, he distrusted kindness. It was a quality that was manipulated to deceive him countless times throughout the arduous decades of life he had unwillingly lived through.
Your benevolence seemed organic, almost innate.
You continued, "My power is optimism. In addition to what Charles explained, I can extract positive values from anyone and replace their malicious thoughts and intentions. Basically, I'll help the manager override his hatred of mutants. Hate is taught . . . I'll teach him a different lesson. One of hope, equality, and human-mutant coexistence."
Logan felt a blush brewing behind his rugged cheeks. Your eloquent explanation exuded more wisdom than he expected from a "sunshine and rainbows" type of girl. You matched his trademark cynicism with a grounded perspective of reality, but still saw the good in others.
Before Logan chose to introduce himself, Scott raised an eyebrow, silently teasing him for blushing at your words. Logan wouldn't give him the satisfaction of being right about his budding interest in the new recruit.
He mockingly countered, "That's great, a 'glass half-full' mutant has never gotten us killed before. What's your code name, Cheshire Cat? Twinkle Toes?"
Scott caught Logan's eyes and mouthed, "Nice," with a sly smirk.
You wouldn't let him bask in the reflection of tears falling down your cheeks.
Logan cursed himself as you turned to face everyone but him. "I don't have a code name. I've got nothing to hide," you coolly responded.
Your face contorted with pain as you recalled your first interaction with Logan. After you'd successfully earned the trust of the anti-mutant club manager, however, he followed you around like a lost puppy.
Everyone was confused. This behavior was extremely irregular for a man who struggled with trusting long-term friends, let alone a woman he'd only known for a month.
He was addicted to the sweet aura of unbridled positivity that radiated from you. A tale old as time, darkness intertwining with light.
The jealousy he felt during your first mission played a significant factor in his romantic interest. It took all of his restraint (and Charles' disapproving words) not to slash the throats of every man who lusted over your latex-clad form.
You remembered Logan sitting at the bar, clearly uninterested in the mission at hand. Uninterested in you.
Clearly, communication was a skill you both needed to hone.
"Nice work, sunshine." Logan clapped a hand against your shoulder, congratulating you on another successful mission.
He was genuinely proud of you. You were awarded a medal of honor by the president for using positive forces to bridge the gap between mutants and humans.
Picking up your pace, you whipped your head around to acknowledge Logan. "Thanks. You know how much I hate that nickname, right?"
As the rest of the crew filed inside the mansion, excitedly discussing how to wind down after a job well done, Logan used his leverage on your shoulder to spin you around.
"I'm sorry, bub. Love to see how red your face gets." A smug grin was plastered over his stupid, annoying, handsome face.
You paused at the mansion's entrance. "Whatever, Logan. I'm not in the mood for your belittlement."
Slipping past the kinetic hallways of mutant students, you swung open the door to your room and started to undress, hoping to destress after a long day. You shrugged off your new uniform and slipped on your favorite Talking Heads tee, not bothering to wear shorts.
"God, so annoying." You sighed, crashing face-down into the bed. You replayed the interaction with Logan, hurt etching its way into your heart.
I won't let him get to me. He makes me feel like a fuckin' teenager!
"Nice work, sunshine," you mocked in a gruff voice.
Logan doubted your abilities, ignored you on your first mission, and patronized you with nicknames. It wasn't fun being the butt of a joke at the hands of someone you secretly admired. You wondered if his recent interest in you was malicious or sincere.
Despite the telltale signs, you seriously doubted that Logan was romantically interested in you.
Never chosen, always on the prowl for scraps of affection. Never again. Your kindness had been taken advantage of before. You quickly learned that the only person who truly loved you was yourself.
Sunshine. The crinkle of his eyes, those stupid tufts of hair that make him look like a cat.
Your hands slowly slipped under the hem of your shirt, inching towards your breasts.
He was staring at my ass when I met him. Wasn't he?
Your right hand softly tweaked your sensitive nipples. Sighing, you allowed yourself to toy with the thin band of your underwear before circling your clit.
Soft moans quickly grew into labored huffs of desperation. Lost in the gratifying haze of your pleasure, you forgot an important detail about your new living arrangement.
Logan couldn't believe the sounds he was hearing.
It's as if God himself probed his mind and decided to fulfill his deepest desires.
A beautiful arrangement of moans and sighs traveled through the hollow wood wall that separated your rooms. To confirm that he wasn't hallucinating, Logan tentatively pressed his ear against the wall.
"Oh, fuck," he heard you whine in a hushed voice.
He could hear the spontaneous hitch of your breath. "Ah! Logan . . . fuuuuck."
His body reacted to the utterance of his name, unconsciously unsheathing his claws.
It took him five seconds to bridge the distance between his front door and yours.
An abrupt knock on your door forced you to pause the act of self-love you were so invested in.
"Hello? Who is it?"
Logan smirked before answering, "It's me. You okay in there? Sounds like you're having a hard time breathin, bub."
That cocky motherfucker. You slapped a hand against your mouth to muffle your surprise. He probably heard everything, you thought, moving to open the door.
"Logan! I- I'm so sorry." You started playing with the loose strands of hair framing your face. He was leaning on the door frame, his large body teasingly blocking the entrance.
His eyes flitted to your hand, noting the nervous tick. As the scent of your hair wafted into his perceptive nostrils, his pupils dilated. He noticed the unmistakable smell of your arousal.
"No need to apologize, sunshine. Just wanted to make sure you were okay." Logan tried to ignore the enticing scent emanating from your body. His eyes searched the room for a point to fixate on. Anything but your pouty lips.
He registered bare legs. The adorable way you were standing, your right leg shifted over the left to distribute your weight. Any decorum he had vanished when his eyes landed on the girly panties you were wearing.
You inched closer to his broad frame, looking up into his downcast eyes. They were still trained on your lower half.
Sunshine. The heavy weight of his gaze. Familiar hallmarks of past interactions. Except this time, he was gawking at your panties instead of those cosmic booty shorts.
"I can smell you. Can't be that unbearable to be around, hm?" Logan teased, finally making eye contact.
"No, you're still an asshole. I'm done playing hot and cold with you." Your clothed tits grazed his taut stomach.
"You want this? Because if not, I'll take it like a man and leave." Logan asked, searching your face for any signs of hesitation.
You averted your eyes. "Do you want me?"
He understood why your response was laced with insecurity. His previous actions had placed a seed of doubt in your mind. Logan gently raised your chin, tilting your eyes into his. "Of course I do, doll. I might be a stubborn asshole, but I'm not too stubborn to admit that I want you. Always have, since I first met ya."
Shock flooded your features. A charged silence lingered in the air.
You caught Logan staring at your lips.
"Just kiss me, you big oaf." You brazenly commanded.
The arm that leaned against the door frame descended to the small of your back, pulling you close to his chest.
Logan closed the gap, not wanting to give you any reason to doubt his feelings for you.
It started sweet and timid, an innocent collage of bumping noses and delicate gasps. When you pulled apart for air, a thin string of spit connected your bottom lips.
You decided you needed his lips on yours in a drastically different way.
"Since you're here, think you can help a girl out?" You pushed yourself away from Logan, palms extended to his chest. You sat on the edge of your bed, slowly spreading your legs.
Logan choked on his words. "I, uh . . . I'd love to." Once in front of you, he kneeled down on his knees.
The playful contrast between your vintage Talking Heads tee and the lacey pink panties that covered your most intimate area made him dizzy.
The frilly nature of it was enough to make him crazy, but they just had to have a cute little bow at the top.
Logan ground himself into his jeans, its denim fabric the only layer separating his cock from the air.
"You sure about this, doll?" he asked, reluctantly drawing his eyes away from your cunt to analyze yours.
You tentatively weaved your fingers through his hair, paying special attention to the tufts. When he leaned into your touch, you knew that the admission of his affection was genuine.
Your hands ghosted over his, pulling them to land on the wide expanse of your thighs.
"I need you, Logan. I want this. Want you."
That was all Logan needed to hear before he hooked four fingers around the elastic of your panties, slowly moving them off of your legs.
You shivered when the room's cool air met your bare cunt.
Logan hooked his strong arms under your knees, pulling you to the edge of the bed with ease. "Much better, doll. Wanna be close to her," he drawled, resting your legs over his shoulders.
His mouth hovered over you, fanning warm breaths that made you throb with anticipation.
Logan's lips ghosted over where the bow on your panties was and descended where you needed him most.
He gently kissed your clit, earning a soft gasp.
"Yeah, you like that, baby?" You whined a high-pitched "Mhm . . ."
Logan suddenly licked a broad stripe from your hole to your clit, collecting your wetness on the tip of his tongue.
"Need your words, bub. Wanna hear you."
He pulled away momentarily, massaging the sensitive flesh of your thighs. "Oh my god. Yes, I love it . . . please don't stop," you whined.
"That's a good-" Logan paused to pool the release still on his tongue and let gravity drip it onto your folds. "-girl. Fuck."
You sucked in a harsh breath through gritted teeth. He stared at your cunt fluttering open and closed in response to the contact, aching to be filled.
He would tend to that later. Right now, he wanted to make you feel loved, cared for.
"You taste so fuckin' sweet, doll." Logan cooed, tracing the sensitive outline of your hole before sinking two of his thick fingers into your warmth.
Your hands found purchase in his hair, gasping at the sight of him stretching your walls. He slowly thrust his fingers in and out, steadily building the tension in your body.
"Yeah, hold onto me . . . guide me where you need me." The soft squelch of your wetness made him groan into your pussy.
"Fuck . . . you sound so beautiful, baby." Logan praised, his lips pressing a tender kiss to your clit once again.
He alternated between languidly enveloping your folds with his mouth and licking urgently at your sensitive bud.
"Ah! I- I'm close, Logan." You mewled, hips suddenly rising off the bed. The spontaneous action made your clit catch on the ridge of his strong nose.
You locked his head in between your legs, thighs abruptly closing due to the contact.
"You like that, hm?" he teased. You nodded rapidly, capturing your bottom lip in an attempt to subdue the embarrassing whines Logan was drawing out from you.
Once your thighs rested back on the bed, Logan pulled your legs even closer. You couldn't believe your eyes.
He started making out with your pussy.
Logan's mouth opened and closed again and again, latching onto your swollen lips. His pursed lips glistened with your release.
He actually sighed into your body when a particularly noisy kiss made you clench around his fingers.
"That's my good girl. So responsive . . . can you come for me, baby? Wanna taste you."
He curled his fingers, coaxing the spongy pad of your cervix on every thrust. His palm met your pussy with a steady plap, burying his fingers into your crying cunt.
Your legs started shaking. Unable to stave off your release, your thighs fluttered around Logan's head.
"Oh, fuck, Logan . . ." you moaned, sharply tugging his hair while falling backward onto the bed. You couldn't bring yourself to watch his sly grin as you came undone around him.
"Yes . . . ohmygodohmygod, ah!" You incoherently babbled.
Logan playfully slapped your puffy folds, stimulating you through your orgasm.
"Aw, would 'ya look at that . . . your pussy's blushing just for me, doll." He pressed another kiss to your pulsing clit, smirking into your skin.
He slowly removed your legs from his shoulders and caged your body under his, arms outstretched so as not to crush you.
Logan traced the plush outline of your bottom lip, teasing, "Speechless, huh? Guess I'm not that big of an asshole."
Your pupils dilated as you caressed the rugged expanse of his cheek. You hummed a soft, "Mhm . . ." in response, too fucked out to mumble something more comprehensible.
"Figured you deserved to feel good after what I put you through." Logan averted his eyes. He felt guilty, opening his mouth to apologize, but you silenced him with a sloppy kiss.
You tapped his right arm, silently asking him to lay down on the bed next to you. He moved to cuddle you, but you turned around and straddled his pelvis.
Grinding over his clothed bulge, you teased, "No need to apologize, Logan." Your release was creating a noticeable wet spot on the faded denim.
His hips bucked up to meet your tantalizing movements. His back arched at the thought of his bare cock finally feeling the plush embrace of your cunt.
"Let me make it up to you . . . you deserve to feel good, too."
Logan's hands rested on your torso, stilling your hips.
"If you keep moving like that, I won't get to come inside of you. You want me to fill you up? Hm?"
You mischievously dragged your cunt over the fly of his jeans, clit catching on the button.
"Who said you couldn't come in me more than once?"
Logan wrapped his arms behind the small of your back, pulling you to crash against his broad chest. His lips found your ear.
He whispered, "You fuckin' tease. Be careful what you wish for, bub. I have regenerative powers, remember? Could fuck you for hours, if you let me."
You suddenly nipped at his earlobe. "Oh, yeah? prove it. I'm not so sure, old man."
Logan propped up your chin, caressing the supple skin of your cheeks. Eyes darting between your doe eyes and pouty lips, he responded, "If I didn't heal so fast, you'd be the death of me."
You sealed his promise with a sweet kiss. The only lack of communication in your blossoming relationship would occur during intimate moments like these, lips slotted into the other's, ethereal sighs mingling with his intoxicating groans.
an: Whew! I spent a lot of time refining this one. I'm slowly working on improving the pacing and atmosphere of my work.
#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett fanfiction#logan smut#logan x reader#logan x you#wolverine smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#deadpool and wolverine#mistyorchid fic
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TELL ME WHEN YOU HEAR MY HEART STOP ♡
pairing: naoya zen'in x fem!reader
summary: today's a very special day for you and naoya, and he plans to celebrate it with a very special gift.
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, dubcon, kidnapping/captivity, drugging, stockholm syndrome, p in v, fingering, breeding kink, puppy play, misogyny, mentions of spanking, corporal punishment, and psychological torture stuff
a/n: birthday gift for my sweet wonderful friend who i love so very much @nexysworld <3 also!! imagine naoya as a few years older than his canon age for the timeline in this story to work.
“Naoya taking a wife… I never thought I’d see the day.”
The sound of Jinichi’s voice speaking his name drew Naoya’s attention to the two men walking several feet ahead of him on the stone path. His golden eyes flitted from the blue sky above to the pair of them, narrowing as he focused on hearing the next part of the conversation.
“It’s not that shocking,” Ogi replied, “He’s the future head of the clan. There’s no way Naobito would let him fail to produce an heir. Even if the old man had to find some bitch to pay off, the kid was always going to get married.”
“That’s true, but don’t you find it the least bit odd? Seeing him at events with some girl on his arm now? Before, he could never shut up about how the women shouldn’t even be allowed at those things. To be honest with you, I always thought he swung the other way,” Jinichi added.
“Well, yeah. But look at her. If he was ever gonna wed a woman, it was gonna be one like her. Quiet as a mouse. Moves through rooms like a scrap of silk in the wind. Doesn’t go anywhere without him,” Ogi reasoned.
“I don’t think that’s her choice,” the other man quipped.
Ogi shrugged. “Maybe not, but she goes along with it. I only wonder if she’s always been so naturally obedient or if the kid beat it into her.”
Gritting his teeth, Naoya had enough of listening to this. He sped up to catch his relatives. Once within arm’s length, he laid a hand upon Jinichi’s shoulder and pulled him around. His lips curled into a sneer upon making eye contact.
The sudden tug shocked the older Zen’in, his brows raising and lips pausing around the word they had been forming. Ogi followed his direction and came to face the future head of the clan as well. The three of them stood there for a moment. Naoya let them have a few seconds to register that he’d heard their conversation.
“I’ve never thought of either of you as intelligent, but I thought you smarter than thinking it was acceptable to disparage your future clan leader out in the open like this,” he said.
“Our words weren’t intended to be negative, Naoya. We didn’t mean to upset you,” Jinichi started.
“Because you didn’t think I would hear,” he shot back.
From the looks on the two faces in front of him, it was clear the men weren’t afraid of Naoya. That irritated him of course. He wanted all of them to fear him, to feel that if they so much as put him in a bad mood, they would suffer. But the emotion he did see on their features satisfied him enough to prevent that from being a pressing issue.
The gleam in both Jinichi and Ogi’s eyes told him they respected his rank. They may hate him and believe him to be nothing more than Naobito’s spoiled-rotten son, but they accepted the fact that there was nothing they could do about it. And he almost liked that more.
“But really? The implication that I have to lay hands on my betrothed to receive her submission wasn’t meant to be an insult?” he mocked, “The idea that my father would have to pay some woman to be my wife wasn’t said to demean me? I don’t believe that for a second.”
“They were just jokes,” Ogi defended, “How you deal with your woman is your business.”
“Oh, I know it is. How I discipline her is of no concern to you, but do you really think I would have chosen someone so unruly to spend my life with?” he questioned.
“It’s just that you have such high standards-” Jinichi stated.
“I do have high standards. And she meets every single one,” Naoya cut him off, “You two don’t have to explain any further. I’ve already decided to forgive you because I know the root of all of this is jealousy. Ogi, I can tell you wish there was some way you could trade in your wife for mine. Someone young and fresh. Eager and passionate. Not dried up and drained of any personality from more than a decade of dealing with you.
“And Jinichi. Have you ever even been with a girl? I’m sure if my wife took the time to so much as smile at you, she’d have you trailing her like a drooling dog. So please, spare me your judgements about her being ‘quiet’ or shy or whatever you think. There simply isn’t much to say when the company is made up of people like you two,” he finished.
The both of them blinked at Naoya in return, unsure of what to say in response to the scathing words. Arguing would probably cause a blow up that would draw the attention of Naobito, but cowering would inflate the young man’s already super-sized ego. Luckily for them, Naoya continued speaking before they had to make a decision.
“Either way, it’s all water under the bridge. I know you two won’t make this mistake again,” he smiled, “But in case you need the reminder, don’t ever utter the word ‘bitch’ in a discussion about my wife. And if I hear you calling me kid again, you’ll find yourself feeling sorely out of place when I take mine as head of this clan.”
This time Naoya didn’t bother waiting for a potential reply before pushing through them and continuing his walk. The pathway fell into serene silence now that it wasn’t polluted by their annoying chatter. Birds chirped in the trees above while a gentle Spring breeze rustled the hedges on either side of him.
He let out a soft sigh as he turned a corner as his shared suite came into view in the distance. Never did Naoya think he’d see the day where he defended a woman so valiantly. Though that was the crux of why he did it he supposed. You weren’t just some woman. You were his. His bride-to-be, his beloved, his special girl. The only person of the female persuasion he’d let walk one pace behind him instead of three.
God, it was ridiculous. Even thinking of you now made his heart race. He envisioned your sweet, sparkling eyes. Your cute lips that tasted like the richest wine in the world. That luscious body below that gave him wet dreams like he was a horny teenager.
He sighed, longing for you even though he’d be in your presence in a matter of seconds. No matter how often he saw you, it seemed it was never enough. If he could, he’d blow off all his duties around here and stay with you for the entire day.
Opening the miniature gates to his suite, he walked across the paved path to a small wooden staircase. He headed up the three steps and finally reached the doorway that would lead to you.
Upon entering his home, he slipped off his shoes and took a glance in the nearby mirror to make sure his hair was in place. On the thin end table against the wall was a pile of wedding invitations. The sight of them brought a smirk to his lips. Save the date! Mr. and Mrs. Zen’in would like to invite you… scrawled in elegant calligraphy and bordered in gold trim.
“Sweetheart, I’m home,” he called through the house.
He waited a few seconds for the sound of you rushing towards him. That phrase served the same purpose as a whistle to a trained hound. He’d taught you well over the last year. Everyday when he said those words, he could count on you to come to him, to ask about his day, and check on what he needed.
Only today, he didn’t hear the pitter-patter of your footsteps.
His eyebrow raised. In an instant, his body tensed, his lips set into a scowl. He tried telling himself you could be temporarily occupied. Maybe you were taking a bath or had fallen asleep for an afternoon nap. You could just be watching tv or listening to some music that muffled the sound of his voice.
He knew it was probably one of those, but his mind couldn’t help going to the worst place. That you had escaped.
His fist clenched by his sides. He bit the inside of his cheek. Walking further into your shared home, his eyes glanced around to look for any immediate signs of your departure. So far there was nothing. All the furniture was in place, no windows had been left ajar, one of your jackets draped across the back of an armchair.
She knows better now, he thought to himself. Last time you’d tried leaving two months ago, he had hoped it would be the last time. He’d caught you tumbling from the bedroom window while coming home to fetch a paper he’d forgotten. If he found out you’d pulled the vanishing act again today, he’d make the fury he’d felt in that moment seem like minor irritation.
When you tried leaving out the window, the two of you had locked eyes as you clambered off the ground. It would have been kind of cute if he wasn’t so pissed, the way he could see the realization in your eyes that you had majorly fucked up. You tried running, but Naoya was fast. He had you by the back of the neck in seconds, his nails digging into your tender skin.
“My little puppy felt like exploring outside her crate, hm?” he’d asked with barely constrained rage, “You know you’re supposed to ask for permission to do that. You’re not allowed to wander on your own yet.”
Naoya always ended his rules in yet even though he wasn’t sure if he actually planned on ever giving you the freedoms he currently forbade. A small part of him believed that the false hope would inspire your obedience better than direct punishments would. Not that it stopped him from giving you regular punishment though. That day he dragged you back into the house and spanked you till your ass was raw. You wouldn’t have been able to run for a light jog after that. It left you crying for nearly a whole day, so he had hoped it would have been a lasting lesson.
He continued to prowl through the house like a fox hunting its prey. Gliding into the kitchen, he again saw nothing out of the ordinary. You even had the oven on. He wanted that to be enough to put him at ease, but he couldn’t let himself relax. You might have left it on intending to burn the house down.
From there he slipped into the hall. You weren’t in any of the rooms off that walkway, so he headed for the stairs. He moved up them in silence. If you were still here, he didn’t want you to know his exact location. Paranoia had fully taken root. It wasn’t just escape that worried him now. Maybe you had figured out that never worked. You could have graduated to planning an attack. That wouldn’t work either, but he wouldn’t put it past you. For all the times you’d wailed about wanting to kill him, he didn’t believe logic factored into these little rebellions.
God, what if you had found the propofol in his nightstand. He kept it unlabeled, but you’d probably recognize that milky liquid by now. You could have found the syringes in his sock drawer too while doing the laundry.
Shit. Shit. Shit. You could be waiting, tucked behind a corner, ready to jab him in the throat like he’d done to you a year ago. In his defense though, you actually needed it. You were so upset that night, it bordered on hysterical. He’d come over to keep you company because even though he’d only been with you for a year, he’d known you much longer.
You were Toji’s girlfriend.
He’d met you while trying to track him down years before. The day he spotted you, his eyes had been trying to find his older cousin on a crowded city street. Instead they landed on you. Back then, you had a real baby face. Your eyes shined under the rays like they'd never known a cloudy day. The delicate daylight made your skin glow and your features appear softer. He felt drawn to you. It was like fate that you happened to be hanging off Toji’s arm.
Naoya had become friends with both of you. Hanging out with Toji was great because he was Toji. Naoya would have had fun with him if they just sat there and stared at each other. But shocking to everyone including himself, he actually liked you. He acted polite towards you, friendly even. He naturally smiled when you laughed. His eyes watched you during conversation. He took interest in the things you said.
In his mind, he maintained that he still didn’t like the company of women for the most part. But if Toji took an interest in you, there must have been something that made you worthwhile.
He fell in love with you silently. It was a feeling he never planned to act on. He would never betray his cousin like that. Instead, he’d just observe you in awe from a distance. He’d resign himself to only being your friend. Cousin-in-law if it came to that.
But then Toji died.
It left you devastated. Naoya felt hollowed out too, of course. He never thought he’d see Toji die. Part of him didn’t even believe that was possible. But even in comparison to his shock and grief and despair, you took it really hard.
You pulled away from him. Gaps between his visits transformed from days to weeks to months. You never outright told him you didn’t want him around. Your offers to play video games just dried up. You didn’t start conversations anymore, only offering minimal reactions to what he said. Most days you were busy taking extra shifts at work and on weekends you were hanging out with your own friends who Naoya “didn’t know.”
He followed you to a couple of these outings after feeling like he was going crazy experiencing withdrawal from you. Only he didn’t find “friends.” He found you, alone at the bar, getting yourself wasted until some guy would take you home with him and leave you feeling more empty than before.
After that, Naoya decided it was his duty to intervene. He would never have betrayed Toji for you, but now that Toji was gone, he would be what you needed. His cousin would want that, someone to protect you and make you feel loved. Someone to prevent you from destroying yourself in your sadness.
So on the anniversary of Toji’s death, he came to visit you. The two of you talked in short, tension-filled sentences. He could feel the guilt dripping from your every word. It was awkward, and he didn’t try making it any easier. Soon enough, as he expected, you pulled out something to drink to soothe your nerves and make the evening tolerable. And with the liquor came your tears.
It was easy really, corralling you to his chest and rubbing your back, whispering I’ve got you over and over. Then one little prick and you were out cold against him in less than a minute.
You weren’t too happy when you woke up the next afternoon in a place you didn’t recognize. His bedroom was much nicer than your apartment. Luxury furnishings adorned the space while expensive blankets covered your sluggish form. The upgrade in surroundings did little to convince you though.
When he came in to explain to you your new circumstances, you listened quietly at first. He thought for a second that it might all go smoothly, that you would see the value in him taking care of you. But then he got to the part about becoming his wife and bearing the next generation of Zen’ins… and you didn’t seem so on board with all of that.
Now, his heart pounded in his ears as he reached the top of the stairs.
The first few months of your training had been rough, but he honestly thought he’d made great progress with you. All the fighting and yelling and crying broke you down quite a bit. The period of sleep deprivation helped as well. And of course, you’d done great for that couple weeks he’d kept you on a leash. You’d still have your bratty moments every now and then, but overall, you were doing much better now. You’d come so far and learned your place. Just sometimes, you forgot that he knew what was best for you.
And he wasn’t evil. He could be understanding. Going from your life of reckless independence to being taken care of by someone so responsible would be a big change, especially for such an emotional little thing like you. That’s why he only punished for actual disrespect.
He hoped that wasn’t what this was right now. Today was a special day. He planned to come home with open arms for you, not a raised belt. But like always, he would do what he had to.
Cautiously, he ventured through the second floor of your house back towards the bedroom. Once he was within a few feet of the door, he could hear some rustling. Finally some indication that you were still in the house. He let out a breath, but his muscles stayed taut. You could be trying to slip out the window again, prying off the nails he’d tacked through the sill.
His shaking hand landed on the door, his fingertips giving it a light push to knock it open. He braced himself, ready for the worst possible scenario. His plan wouldn’t change. Your compliance was the only variable in this situation.
He came into the bedroom and scanned around for trouble. You weren’t at the window or rummaging through his nightstand like he’d feared. You weren’t crouched at the foot of the bed, poised for an attack. Rather, he saw the closet doors open. That was where the noise was coming from.
Crossing the room, he peered between the double doors. Now his body could finally relax. He let out a deep breath and ran his hand over his face. Inside, you were there, safe and sound and not trying to escape. You were on your hands and knees, ducking beneath a shelf as if trying to find something. It seemed like you were having some trouble. Soft grunts fell from your lips and your hips wiggled as you tried to reach further. He couldn’t help noticing the way your back arched in this position along with your hips squirming. His pants felt a little tighter while watching you struggle, but he could deal with that in a few minutes. He cleared his throat to get your attention.
“There you are,” he said.
At the sound of his voice, your head shot up, knocking into the shelf above you.
“Ow,” you squeaked before pulling yourself free and sitting up. Your eyes looked up at him, wide and nervous. “Hi. Sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.”
He laughed at your little mishap before walking over to you and patting your head. “It’s alright,” he said, running his fingers along your scalp.
His sweet puppy. Obedient just as he’d hoped. You deserved more credit than he gave you it seemed. He couldn’t let you totally off the hook for not meeting him at the door though. That was how bad habits formed.
“Though maybe you shouldn’t start cleaning out the closet around the time I’m usually home.”
You nodded without protest before rising to your feet and tucking yourself to his side, your cheek squishing against the crisp fabric of his shirt.
“How was your day?” you asked. Your voice sounded meeker than usual, but he supposed you still feared the possibility of getting in trouble.
He wrapped his arm around you and squeezed your shoulder. “It was fine. Nothing special,” he said with a shrug. He began walking you out of the closet and back into the main part of the bedroom. “What were you looking for in there?”
“Today those people came over to fit me for the wedding dress, and while I had it on, I remembered these shoes I have that would go with it. I was just trying to find them, so I could ask if you liked them,” you answered.
A perfect answer in his book. You were looking for something in regards to the wedding, and not only that, but you planned on asking him for his opinion on it. It made his heart soar.
His fingers coasted up and swept below your chin, making you look up at him. As your jaw tilted upwards, his eyes fell to your neck. More specifically, the tight piece of material wrapped around your neck.
Your collar.
Just looking at it had Naoya’s cock stirring in his pants. He valued that little strap of fabric more than the diamond ring around your finger that cost thousands. His fingertips flicked the dangling silver tag that hung at the front.
“That’s my good girl,” he praised, “Are you getting excited for the wedding?”
You shrugged and gave him a small smile. While he would have preferred a resounding Yes, he would take this. It was a vast improvement from the times you’d burst into tears if he so much as uttered the words wedding or bride in your presence.
He planted a kiss on your forehead before sitting on the foot of the bed and pulling you into his lap. You sat up straight on his thigh with your shoulders back. Good. He stressed the importance of not slouching to you. It was unbecoming of someone with your beauty.
Two of his knuckles dragged down the curve of your face while his eyes studied your face for a moment.
“You know… today is a very special day,” he said, connecting his gaze with yours.
They swirled with nervousness, uncertain what kind of special today was. “It is?” you asked.
“Yeah. It is,” he confirmed. His fingers rested below your jaw while his thumb swiped back and forth across your chin. “Today’s our anniversary.”
You blinked at him for a few seconds. “But we’re not married yet…” you said and cocked your head a little.
“I know that, silly girl,” he said, rolling his eyes, “I’m not talking about our wedding anniversary. I’m talking about the anniversary of us. Of me bringing you here. The real start of your life.”
Realization dawned all across your face. “Oh,” was all you said.
“Don’t give me that,” he said with a little pinch to your jaw, “It’s a lot more important than ‘oh.’ That was the day you really became mine. My little puppy.”
He snuck his arms around you and pulled you flush against his chest, rocking back and forth with you for a few moments. The way his body swayed felt like how a child would do it with their favorite doll. His fingers traced up and down your spine.
You shut your eyes and relaxed in the embrace for a few moments. His tender attitude at the moment helped keep your thoughts quiet, which was good since the information he just gave you feelings the exact opposite of his.
While nostalgia warmed Naoya’s chest, a sense of dread permeated your body. You had been here for a whole year. An entire year of your life, wasted away while you played house between the walls of the Zen’in estate. You had honestly given up on escape after the last time when he threatened to upgrade your collar to an electric one, but the idea that you would actually be here forever didn’t feel real until right now.
Something about the one year marker ticking by made the time more than an abstract concept. The same was true of Toji’s death. Some days it felt like he was gone only a week, others you felt like the last time you laid with him was in another life.
Tears pricked at your eyes as you think of him now. It was stupid, but sometimes you worried he’d be disappointed in you for giving in. He fought his way out of this place. Now one of them had you, and you were just taking it lying down.
But you couldn’t fight back anymore. You just couldn’t. This wasn’t so bad. You told yourself that everyday as you lounged around the house or made him dinner. It could be so much worse. It’s not like Naoya kept you in a box under the bed or in some dank basement. He treated you like a wife. Sure he could be… old-fashioned to put it nicely, but you were pretty sure that, in his own twisted way, he really believed he loved you.
And the worst part about this whole thing was you were kind of sure that, in some fucked up way, you felt some sort of attachment to him too.
You’d liked Naoya as a friend before any of this happened. When he was just Toji’s little cousin. You thought he was cute. A little mouthy, but funny and sharp. He was still that way now, and when you behaved he let you see that. That was when nostalgia hits you. When he got you laughing, some part of your brain felt like you were back in the apartment, waiting for Toji to come home from the store.
And when he wasn’t in a bad mood, he could be pretty sweet. Sure the puppy stuff made you want to vomit at first but now it was kinda cute… It was just his special thing for you. That’s what you told yourself. He took care of you, and he could be loving and gentle. He could be a lot worse to you. Some of the other men around here were to their wives.
Those thoughts only brought you turmoil though. You hated yourself for getting used to him. For finding reasons to defend him to yourself. To justify his eternal presence in your life.
As much as you tried to keep it down, a sniffle broke its way out of you. You hoped he didn’t notice. He was being nice right now, and you wanted so badly to keep that going. You didn’t want this to turn into a lesson.
But unfortunately, he heard the soft sound. He narrowed his eyes and grabbed your jaw, forcing your head off his chest. His eyes looked down upon your face now, not in admiration but with inquisition.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, the words coming out with the smallest hint of accusation.
Before you could even think of a cover, you shook your head. There was no way you were gonna risk having to explain your feelings to him. Naoya wasn’t the best with that.
“No…” you replied, “I’m just… I’m so… I’m so happy.”
He continued to stare at you, though his gaze dissolved from displeased to plain confusion. You brought your hand up to hold his wrist.
“I never thought I would be so lucky to have someone like you who takes care of me and looks out for me. I just can’t believe it’s been a whole year. It just makes me think about everything,” you whispered. The low volume helped them seem more authentic. If you had to be emphatic about this, it would probably seem forced.
A gradual smile began forming on his face. “Well no wonder you’re crying. You know you and thinking don’t go well together,” he teased and pulled you back to his body.
He let out a lovesick sigh and rested his cheek against the top of your head. You released a breath too. Without his scrutiny, you could relax. His hand resumed petting up and down your back while he held you.
“My poor puppydoll… you get overwhelmed by all those big feelings in your head so easily,” he cooed, “That’s why you need me. You know I can handle it all for you.”
You nodded on instinct.
“That’s my girl,” he praised, “But I didn’t bring today up for no reason. I wanted to tell you something.”
“What is it?” you asked and wiped at your misty eyes before looking up at him again.
“Well, because today is our anniversary, I thought you deserved a gift. But you’ve been such a good girl lately, so polite and well behaved, doing everything I ask of you. It couldn’t be just anything. It had to be special,” he explained.
You tried to map out where this might be going, but you came up short. He rolled over with you, slotting you beneath him on the mattress. His elbow held him above you while his free hand came up and clicked off your collar. Your eyes widened as he pushed it aside. Today must have really been special to him.
“I was thinking and thinking and thinking, but I couldn’t come up with anything that my puppy would need. You already have so many pretty outfits. So many good pairs of shoes. All the toys you could want. I keep you so well-spoiled… so what would be a good enough present for my sweet little bride?” he asked as he ducked down to your neck, “Can you guess?”
His mouth began laying hot kisses on your throat. You shuddered under his touch. He licked at your pulse point before nipping at the skin. You know he wanted to leave a mark. That was the main reason he bothered kissing your neck at all.
When he didn’t say anything after a few seconds, you realized his question wasn’t rhetorical. He expected you to guess.
“Um… I don’t know. Are we gonna go out somewhere together?” you asked hopefully. It had been a long time since you’d seen the city. Or anywhere that wasn’t this house or the grounds of this estate.
He laughed a little against your skin, peppering the area with another series of pecks. “Good try, but no. I thought of something even better,” he breathed.
You tried to think of another guess, but you honestly had no clue what he intended to use to mark this occasion.
“I don’t know,” you acquiesced.
“That’s ok, baby. I didn’t think you’d get it. It was just cute watching you try,” he teased.
He nosed at your neck once more before pulling back and looking down at you. His hand rested on your hips, his fingers clasped around the soft flesh there.
“I was thinking that because you’ve been such a good girl for me lately, that you’re ready for me to give you the greatest gift you’ll ever receive,” he whispered, “My heir.”
Every cell in your body froze upon hearing those words. You stared at him, jaw tight and eyes unmoving. How did you not think of that? It was obvious now that he’d said it. You’d known about his desire to eventually get you pregnant since your first day here, but he’d always referred to it as some distant thing. Some event that would occur after the two of you married.
There was only a month until the wedding though, so you supposed he was on track.
“Like a baby?” you whispered back, still wishing somehow that you’d misinterpreted what he meant.
“Well obviously,” he said, “Now’s not the time for joking, puppy. I know you’re ready.”
“I…” you started, but you cut yourself short. You didn’t know how to divert him from that idea without causing a blow up. “I’m scared…” you tried.
“There’s no reason to be. You know I’ll take care of you. The whole time you’re pregnant, you’ll be spoiled even more than you are now,” he said and kissed you, this time on the mouth. His lips moved against your own at a sensual pace before he pulled back. “It’ll feel so good. It’s what this body was made for. To carry Zen’in babies.”
You didn’t know what else you could possibly say, but luckily that wasn’t a worry for long. He went back in for more kisses. His tongue worked your mouth open before slipping in and caressing your own. You moaned softly and brought your hand up to thread through his bleached tresses.
He smirked against your lips. You could feel the smug curve of it rise as he steadied himself above you. His hand kneaded your hips before his fingers hooked over the top of your bottoms and began pulling them down.
Your heart thundered in your chest. “Nao, I don’t know…” you whimpered, but he silenced you by pressing his mouth harder against you.
“There’s nothing for you to know, baby. Nothing you need to worry about. You let me make the decisions remember? Just be a good girl for me,” he mumbled.
He rolled his hips against your center, forcing your legs to spread wider in the process. You could feel his bulge against the thin cloth of your panties. He did it a couple more times, rocking the hard mound against your clothed cunt. The dull friction felt good, you couldn’t deny that. Your breath hitched and you arched against him slightly.
Despite you starting to reciprocate somewhat, he could still feel the tension in you, and he didn’t like that. Normally it wouldn’t bother him so much, but tonight was different. He wanted you desperate to carry his babies, begging for him to fuck you full of his seed. It was an honor after all. Even if you still had reservations, you would come to see that in time.
His right set of fingers delved between your thighs, lifting the elastic of your panties and cupping your pussy. He slid his middle digit between your folds. In a few seconds, the pad swirled around your sensitive bundle of nerves. It flicked across your little clit, drawing a whine out of you.
“You don’t understand how badly I need to breed you, precious,” he breathed.
Your legs squirmed, and you bit your lip. You tried to keep your thoughts in line. A few small strokes to your pussy wouldn’t melt you so easily.
But it wasn’t just a few small strokes.
Naoya went back to kissing your neck, working all over from your jaw to your shoulder. His finger played with you until you began leaking arousal. He ground his erection against your thigh and whimpered next to your ear.
You could try to ignore it all you wanted, but you could hear the need in his voice. He sounded like an animal in pain. His other hand gripped you with the force of one as well.
“It’s all I want in this world. To rule this clan with you at my side, full with my child,” he panted, “You’ll look beautiful. Swollen in all the right places. Your body glowing as it does what it was meant to.”
Another moan fell from your mouth as his dreams began to infiltrate your mind as well. And while you were all worked up, you could kind of see the appeal.
“It’ll feel so good for you, fulfilling your purpose. Your body will be so sensitive too. You’ll ache for me, puppy. Your body will crave me like oxygen because it’ll know I own you.”
“Naoya,” you gasped. His finger slid down to your entrance and prodded inside for a moment. He pumped it in and out. It wasn’t enough to make you cum or give you serious pleasure. But it was the perfect amount to steal the thoughts from your head and melt you beneath him.
“Good girl,” he purred, “This is what you need, baby. That silly little brain is trying to hold you back because you’ve been taught that everyone expects more of you. But I don’t. I don’t expect you to work or make decisions or do any of that hard stuff because I know that’s too complicated for my little puppy. It wouldn’t be fair to ask that of you. All I want you to do is relax and let me have control. Just be my good little girl and listen to what I tell you. And what I’m telling you is that you’re meant to be bred. That’s all you need to do, my sweet wife.”
A moment passed where nothing changed. He kept kissing you while you stayed still. But then your hands rose to his chest and started grabbing at his shirt, trying to tug it off. And he knew he had you.
“Silly girl, just a few sweet words and you fall apart so easily for me,” he muttered.
In your mind, your resolve hadn’t completely collapsed. But what he’d said didn’t sound horrible. It was definitely the best case scenario for being here. So why not enjoy your anniversary. You could worry about the consequences tomorrow.
He made quick work of his clothing and your remaining coverings. In no time, he stood nude above him while you laid exposed on the mattress.
Stroking his cock a few times, he climbed on top of you. His golden eyes drooped with lust as they focused on you. You wrapped your legs around his waist in an attempt to guide him where you needed him most.
“So eager to be full now, are you?” he mocked.
You nodded and looped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down on you. Most of the time, he wasn’t a fan of such clinginess while he was on top of you, but you were behaving better than he expected. He could let it slide just this once. It was your anniversary after all.
He lined up with your hole and nudged the tip against you teasingly.
“Naoya,” you whined, tightening your legs around him.
“This is what I get for spoiling you, huh? A whiny pup,” he murmured and pecked your cheek as he sheathed himself inside you.
Your walls locked around him, squeezing and fluttering at the pleasure that came with the first thrust. His breath came out a little shaky as he adjusted to the feeling of you around him. He shut his eyes for a moment, just feeling the warmth of your tight embrace.
“Your pussy’s begging for it,” he said as he dragged his hips back. He then pushed into you again.
Another long stroke followed the first, and then another after that. He set himself into a steady rhythm, rocking his hips back and forth. You mewled and clutched at his shoulders.
“It just feels so good,” you whimpered.
His grip became stronger on you too. He held you close to his body, ensured you couldn’t run or squirm away from him in the slightest. His pelvis continued to piston against you. The faint sound of skin clapping on skin filled the bedroom along with your combined sounds of ecstasy.
Every time he bottomed out, his silky tip bumped against some sweet spot. You cried out with almost everyone. Your eyes rolled back, blissed out from the continuous stimulation.
“That’s it. Just take it,” he huffed, nestling his face against your neck. You could feel his hot breath steaming against your skin.
Arousal continued to gush from you around his cock. Your slick smeared against your skin and coated the patch of dark hair at the base of his dick.
“Nao… deeper, please,” you whined.
He sighed and obliged your request, slamming into you as hard as he could. Your head board knocked against the wall.
“There you go,” he grunted, “Nice and deep. Gotta get it all the way in so it will take.”
You felt so good that hearing that didn’t even bother you. If anything, it dragged you closer to the edge.
“Gonna- ah! Gonna…” you tried to tell him.
“Just think about it. If I knock you up tonight, you’ll be pregnant during our wedding,” he said. He rolled his hips against you at a slower pace that still reached just as deep. “You’re supposed to wait till the wedding night to try, but no one would know. It’d be our little secret. My gorgeous bride, bred and beautiful just for me.”
Your hips bucked eagerly, out of your control. A pitchy whine left you, audible proof of your desperation.
“That’s it, puppy. Cum for me,” he crooned, “Cum for me so I can pump you full and put a baby in your belly.”
You cried out and locked your limbs around his body. Your muscles all quivered as release crashed into you. It hit you like a bomb going off. Your eyes screwed shut while your jaw clenched. Strangled moans still made their way out though.
He groaned right beside your ear. The pulsing of your cunt only grew more rapid around his length. It massaged him just how he needed to reach the finish line. He kept working himself in and out right until he felt that peak. Then he slid in all the way and let his body go lax on you, trembling with the pleasure of his orgasm.
You held him while his cum spilled inside of you, and afterwards the both of you remained attached. Your hearts pounded against each other where your chests met, rising and falling with labored breaths. His fingers lazily pet your head, trailing down to your shoulder to trace little patterns there.
Eventually, he pulled out and rolled off of you. His hand came to rest on your lower stomach without a word. He held it there for a few moments before rising onto his elbow and giving you a kiss.
“My perfect bride-to-be,” he whispered, the tip of his nose nearly touching yours, “I think whatever you had in the oven has long burnt by now.”
The tone in which he said the words had you thinking for a few seconds they were just some sweet nothings you didn’t understand. But upon taking a deeper breath and smelling the air, you realized he was right. The food you’d put in the oven before he’d come home was probably burnt to a crisp at this point.
“Sorry,” you said, instantly sitting up to go and correct your mistake.
But with a gentle hand on your shoulder, he ushered you back down against the mattress.
“I’ll have the servants bring us something better and clean it up,” he said and nuzzled your cheek, “What do I always say? I’ll take care of you. Even your little mistakes.”
You nodded and relaxed again. Your eyes drifted down to your stomach, the location of your possible future greatest mistake. Despite everything that had just transpired, you hoped it wouldn’t take.
“Oh I almost forgot,” he said, breaking you from your thoughts. His hand came up to your throat, your collar between his fingers. He grinned as he fastened it back into place. “There we go. It would be wrong of me to leave my pup without her collar.”
He flicked the dangling tag once more before laying beside you again.
#naoya zenin x reader#naoya zenin smut#naoya zenin x you#jujustu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk imagines#ch: naoya zenin 💌#naoya x reader#naoya x you
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Celebrating 10 Years of CA:TWS — A Stucky Rec List
Rec list for the CA:TWS 10th Anniversary Event @catws-anniversary (thank you so much for organizing this event! 💙) | Prompt: Memories
10 years, huh? 10 years of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. 10 years of what many—myself included—still consider to be the best MCU movie ever made.
But also 10 years of post-TWS fanfiction. 10 years of Bucky Barnes Recovering and Steve Rogers' Sadness Errands; of Up All Night to Get Bucky and Revenge Road Trips; of Winter Soldier Trauma Umbrellas and Everybody Needing A Goddamn Hug; of Good Bros and Soft Epilogues. 10 years and tens of thousands of Steve/Bucky fics later, here we are.
So, to mark the occasion, let's take a trip down memory lane and celebrate the movie and the stories it inspired: One fic from each year since it all began:
There's really only one rule here: All fics are set before, during, or after the events of CA:TWS and/or reimagine its plot in interesting ways. Naturally, many of the fics on this list are post-TWS canon divergent, but I tried to go for a nice variety of length, genre, and popularity to keep it interesting. Speaking of popularity, this is very much not intended as a round-up of ‘most popular fics of each year’ because—and I say this with all the love and respect in my heart for those stories and their authors—nobody needs a rec list for that, and I believe in spreading the love. Here we go:
Poltergeists by enemyofrome | 17K, T
Author's summary: When the helicarriers blow up and the Winter Soldier goes on the run, he takes Steve with him. He's got a name written in Morse code on the inside of his arm, a ton of questions he doesn't know how to ask, and now, a new handler with absolutely zero sense of self-preservation to contend with. Life is hard. In which Bucky tries to figure out whether he's a human being, Steve does everything he can to keep from losing him again, and there are lots of explosions.
Starting off with one of the best versions of the 'Bucky didn't leave Steve, he took him with him after the Potomac' fics that were (and still are!) so popular post-TWS. This one stands out because of its fantastic beginning, its interesting take on how Bucky was broken and remade into the Winter Soldier, and because it allows both characters to be messy. It's a popular fanon trope that it's Steve who brings out a ruthless, almost vicious streak in Bucky, but here it's emphasized that this is very much a mutual thing. Just like Bucky, who's often afforded the "excuse" of still figuring out how to be a person again, Steve gets to be difficult here—without ever turning him into a stubborn asshole. They're both traumatized, and they're both allowed to show it and to lash out, including at each other. Also, this fic will give you capital-F Feelings about morse codes and apples. Believe me.
sleepwalk back to the battle site by ftmsteverogers | 22K, T
Author's summary: “I’m going to track down every HYDRA agent that’s left,” Bucky says, buckling his gun deftly to his belt. “And then I’m going to kill them.” “Oh,” Steve says. “Come with me?” Bucky asks, dangerous hands tucked into his pockets.
A classic post-TWS fic that picks up right after the movie ends. Equal parts Revenge Roadtrip, Bucky Barnes recovering, and Steve Rogers being in urgent need of a good hug. This starts out intensely melancholic—Steve's despair and helplessness are palpable and there's a scene involving a drinking glass that still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Halfway through, the story changes pace and becomes much more action-heavy, but it still manages to allow space for the quiet, intimate moments between Steve and Bucky. They have both become sharp and deadly men, but they're also allowed to be soft with each other. Their coming together feels sweet and inevitable. I also really enjoyed the Steve characterization here. His absolute conviction that Bucky is still Bucky at his very core and always will be, but also his emotional and intellectual flexibility to adapt to this still-new-to-him, changed version of Bucky rang very true to me.
Surveillance by Sproings, 7K in 2 parts, G
Author's summary: If there are ears everywhere, that means it's somebody's job to listen. I hate my job.
Do you ever think about how SHIELD bugged Steves DC apartment and how horrible that was, but also...you're kind of curious what they might have overheard? Do you ever wonder about the people who listened in on his sad, lonely life? Well, here you go. An outsider POV fic told "through the ears" of an unnamed SHIELD agent assigned to spy on the private life of a man who doesn't really have much of one. The story begins just before IM3 and takes us all the way through the events of CA:TWS and beyond. It's clever, original and told with great empathy for both the subject under surveillance and the person carrying out that surveillance—who increasingly questions its purpose. Here's a small snippet to give you an idea of the fic's style:
He got a phone call, once. He put it on speaker, too, which was very exciting for me at the time. It was from an archivist at the Smithsonian. They seemed really surprised that he answered his own phone calls. The two of them talked for a long time about an exhibit the museum was planning. A very long time. As if one of them was starstruck, and the other was desperate for any kind of human interaction.
What Gets You Through by velleities | 12K, M
Author's summary: For Steve, getting through each day is a process – one he’s currently failing at spectacularly. Feeling out of place in this brave new world, he hopes to find a home in Bucky, and looks for him with everything he’s got. But Bucky doesn’t want to be found, and when he does touch base with Steve, he never sticks around for long. Bucky has embraced the modern age, leaving Steve lagging behind – or so Steve believes, until Bucky shows him otherwise.
This post-TWS fic revolves around five encounters in liminal spaces, and each time Bucky has pieced himself back together again just a little more. Despite their increasingly longer and more honest conversations, and Bucky's incremental progress, he always disappears again, leaving Steve to grapple with his heartbreak. There are quietly gorgeous moments in this fic (the bus and the church in particular were my personal favorites) as well as wonderfully crafted characterizations. Bucky is initially portrayed as somewhat feral in some ways yet surprisingly well-adjusted in others, and I love that Steve can't help but be a little annoyed at that. However, it quickly becomes clear that, in good old Bucky Barnes fashion, much of it is really just a front put up for Steve's benefit...
A Real Boy by itsnotbleak | 5K, T
Author's summary: It took the Winter Soldier three weeks to remember that human beings needed to sleep and eat. It took Steve far too long to realise the Winter Soldier was sleeping in his bed.
A wonderful, short-but-doesn't-feel-like-it fic (in the very best way) set immediately after CA:TWS, in which Bucky secretly and then soon not so secretly visits Steve in his apartment. Follow along as Bucky Barnes argues with his brain about sandwich toppings, the importance of a good night's sleep, and the necessity of personal hygiene. Also: how to best go about becoming a real boy (again). And who the hell is that Bucky guy anway? This is as soft and sweet a Bucky recovery fic as you're ever going to find. It's funny but not silly; sad in a way that all of these stories inherently are—because, well, these are some tragic boys—but not super angsty or depressing. A beautiful story with a lovely, hopeful ending.
Savage God by PottersPink | 36K, M
Author's summary (abbr.): Past, present, future, Steve knows Bucky Barnes. It’s why he recognized him when he found him in that alley in April of 1942, even though Bucky was older, stronger, wearier; he called himself The Asset, and had a metal fucking arm. He flinched when Steve tried to touch him, and when Steve told him he loved him, his first response was to ask why. Seventy years later, Steve wakes up in the twenty-first century, and he doesn’t know whether to be heartbroken or hopeful when some of the things Bucky revealed to him in 1942 start falling into place.
An absolutely riveting AU that will have you on the edge of your seat the whole time. I'm itching to talk about it more but I cannot since it would mean spoiling the hell out of it. What I can say is that it's a very intriguing and clever exploration of what would happen if Steve knew about the future but without really knowing any of the details. How would it change the events of CA:TFA and CA:TWS, and how would it change Steve himself? I so very much appreciate this characterization of Steve as smart, competent, and unwavering with a hefty dose of no fucks left to give. This fic features some really nifty time travel and plotting, great action sequences and a very satisfying ending where certain people get their much-deserved comeuppance. Plus: Bonus Shrinkyclinks (kind of)!
Charlie Lock by seapigeon | 105K, M (hard M)
Author's summary (abbr.): The Winter Soldier knows that sometimes, in order to make the kill, you must destroy what the Target lives for. Steve Rogers knows that he can't fight his captors. If he fights, they'll kill Bucky. But the price of his life is steep. Tony Stark has nothing left to live for, but he's needed. So all these miserable motherfuckers better stay alive, too. Clint Barton never expected to be a leader. But a leader he is, and no one else is going to die on his watch. --- A story in which the first wave of Project Insight succeeds, and the Avengers must pick up the pieces and find a way to stop Hydra from completing its work with Zola's algorithm.
This is not only the longest fic on this list, but also the angstiest one—by a mile, so please heed the tags. It's dark, disturbing, and brutal. However, it is neither relentless misery porn nor is it shocking for shock's sake, where everything is magically forgotten and/or healed the moment Steve and Bucky start kissing. Instead, the author puts these characters into an absolutely horrifying situation and then slowly, gently guides them out of it and into the light.
It's a Stucky fic but it's also a multi-POV ensemble piece featuring all the Avengers and other familiar faces. If you are someone who'll always be a little bitter about the unfulfilled promise of an Avengers found family, then this is for you. In this AU, they do not only fight together, but grow together in every way. They truly become a team, not just co-workers barely tolerating each other. The story takes its time exploring the characters and the group dynamics. Steve and Bucky are definitely at the center of the narrative but there is space here for every member of the team to grieve and adjust to the new reality and to find at least some measure of healing. It's a story about the meaning and the consequences of revenge, about hope and resilience, and about love in all its many forms. It also has one of the most satisfying title drops that will have you pump your fist in triumph when it happens. It's a tough read, but ultimately a very rewarding one.
SPELEVINK by Ginny_Potter | 10K, G
Author's summary: Bucky’s back. He’s leaving me messages through IKEA plushies, Steve texts Sam. jesus christ, rogers, Sam texts back. Or, Bucky lives in an IKEA Tiny Apartment, Steve is a dancing monkey once again, and somehow they find their way back to each other.
This is an absolute DELIGHT of a fic that will have you alternately laughing out loud and crying quietly into your SVARTFIBBLA blanket (super-soft, recycled polyester, 47x63"). It's ‘crack treated seriously’ at its very best and a clear homage to the fandom classic Infinite Coffee… (that’s not a dig or a spoiler, the author says so in the author’s note).
Now if you know me, you’ll know that angst o’clock is my happy hour and I’m usually not very into these heavy-on the-humor quasi-absurdist fics (because I’m super special and not like all the other girls, obviously). But. I LOVED this story so, so much. It’s such a fun read—even when it makes you cry—and it really became one of those ‘huh, I guess I’m into this after all’ moments of joyful (self)discovery via fanfic for me. I never thought a pair of oven mitts could move me like that, and I'll never be able to walk into an IKEA again without muttering "F******!" under my breath (iykyk). Absolutely fantastic.
a handful of dust by RecoveringTheSatellites | 20K, M
Author's summary: Steve looks for Bucky for a long time. But the thing is that Bucky doesn't get found, Bucky finds. Bucky always finds Steve. This takes a hard left after the Potomac and stumbles through the dark a lot after. Take a bit of running, the occasional synaptic misfire, the resurfacing of old memories, a dash or two of PTSD, and (eventually) a nice dose of action, stir, and serve over some unresolved issues.
Honestly, the second paragraph up there perfectly sums up the story. It's a good ol' fashioned Bucky recovery fic with some angst, some action, and a whole lot of healing and devotion. Steve and Bucky get to be very sappy about each other, but also extremely Badass Battle Boyfriends™ when somebody threatens their hard-won happiness. Both are allowed to be messy, unstable, and very co-dependent.
This was the first time this author played in the Stucky sandbox and I mean it 100% as a compliment when I say that you can tell. This is someone with "fresh legs" diving headfirst and very deep into the Stucky trope pool and they're doing it with great relish and enthusiam. The result is a story that rejects some of the tried and true conventions of the post-TWS fanfic canon and lovingly embraces others, but that is definitely aware of and in dialogue with the body of work that came before it. Also, it's just a really fun read that gives these two the very soft ending they deserve.
Everybody is Supposed to be Dead by pollutedstar | 22K, M
Author's summary: In 1944, Bucky Barnes falls off a train into the Alps, missing and presumed dead. Months later, Steve Rogers nosedives a plane into the arctic. In 2010, the Winter Soldier project is uncovered by S.H.I.E.L.D., and Bucky Barnes is found alive. Three years later, Steve Rogers’ frozen body is found in the ocean.
A really interesting AU and a fascinating exploration of what could’ve been; the impact it would’ve had on the events and characters if Bucky had been the one to be “found” first. How would it affect Steve to come back into a world where he isn’t quite so lonely and adrift, and where he does have the relief and reassurance of having Bucky by his side and at his back? How would that have changed the way he acted and reacted to this strange new world and the people and organizations trying to recruit him to their cause even though the ice hasn't even completely melted off his body yet?
There are a lot of astute and precise observations about characters like Tony, Natasha, and Clint in this story, and on top of that, it offers up some very compelling insights into Steve's conflicted and difficult relationship with his role as Captain America.
it's never over (hey orpheus) by romcommie | 12K WIP, 2/?, M
Author's summary: He remembers a song first and then everything else follows, burying him below. Or, Bucky Barnes pieces a life back together with a few choice verses, some duct tape and seventy years worth of spite. Steve Rogers tries very hard to relearn there's a life to be lived in the first place.
Ok, listen up, people! This is a WIP and there are only 2 chapters posted so far, but I haven't felt this absolutely bonkers excited about a post-CA:TWS fic in a long while. We're talking frothing at the mouth here. I have such a massive crush on this fic, it's a bit embarrassing, really. It's one of those fics where you know after just a few paragraphs that you're in very good, very competent hands. The wealth of historical and cultural detail; the way the story shifts/flips/flickers back and forth between time, perspective and narrative levels; the Bucky voice—it's all so well done! I'm so insanely excited to see where the author takes this!
ENJOY!
#catws10#stucky#stucky fic rec#stucky fic#stucky rec list#steve x bucky#stucky fic recs#steve x bucky fic rec#stevebucky fic rec#stevebucky#my recs#*drops this and runs aways* this rec list nearly gave me an aneurysm. you're welcome!
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i know the fandom likes to make Jack out to be a terrible dad but i personally enjoy to imagine him as a man who's just not that smart, but tries his best.
Tim, like six years old, angry that he wasn't allowed desert before dinner: I hate you! I wish lived on my own and never saw you or Mommy again!
Jack, tearing up and booking flight tickets: Okay kiddo, love you.
Janet, giving birth: AAAAARGH. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME, YOU COWARDLY BITCH. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTS A BABY SO BAD, YOU SHOULD BE GIVING BIRTH!
Jack, tearing up and booking gender reassignment surgery: Okay darling, love you.
Nurse, glancing at his phone: You.. you know that surgery wont make you able to carry a child right?
Jack: Yes it will, it gives me a vagina!
Nurse: ...you know you need a uterus to actually carry the baby right?
Jack: What the fuck is a uterus? WAIT I CAN SEE THE BABYS HEAD OH MY GOSH JANET DEAR YOU'RE DOING SO WELL!
Tim, age 15: Dad, i'm glad you're trying to be better now but... Why did you and mom neglect me for so long?
Jack: You told us too! I wanted to raise you, i was a stay at home dad, but you said i was horrible and that you wanted to live on your own!
Tim: ...
Jack: Obviously that was irresponsible so we sent you to boarding school, but we only visited a few times a year to respect your boundaries. I would send you back, but I was in a coma so i'm allowed to be a little selfish and spend time with my baby.
Dick: Didn't your dad just wake up from a coma? And he's already got a girlfriend? No offense but-
Tim: My mom told him to.
Dick: Timmy, sometimes men lie-
Tim: No, literally, it was in her will. She literally told him that if she died first, he had to get a new partner, because she knew he'd die alone without her.
Dick: What...
Tim: Also, i was the one who chose Dana. She's great! Mom said I had to pick a blonde because yellow is his favourite colour.
Tim: Dad, why is the only picture of Mom you have framed one of her in a bikini? Do you not have any others?
Jack: I do, i have hundreds! But this was taken on the day she proposed to me! Well, i have more from that day, but they're not safe for little eyes.
Tim: Thats both the most romantic and disgusting thing i've ever heard.
Jack, puling out a picture of Janet sobbing and very obviously screaming: I have this picture of her on my bedside table though, its from when she found out she was pregnant with you! Two of the best days of my life!
#screw fanon#i saw the drakes are lovely people#dc comics#dc universe#batman comics#tim drake#bruce wayne#jack drake#janet drake#dana winters#dick grayson#headcanon
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Army Boy
Lieutenant yuta x reader
while working in one of the most military base you come across Yuta. A lieutenant that was a soon to be captain. Somehow he flirts his way into your panties.
˚₊‧꒰𓆩 ♱ 𓆪꒱ ‧₊˚ Really hot steamy sex.
You sat in a rolling chair as you spun around in it bored out of your mind. Every week you came to japans military base located in Okinawa because of your father. He was a military commander and he had called you in to organize his paper work yet again . You sigh loudly as you look at the clock, it was barely about to be 3pm. Growing up with a dad as a commander meant that he would drag you along everywhere with him. He wanted you to experience a bit of the army life without being in it.
When he looks at you he sees a small innocent girl who could never joining something so ruthless like this. Did you feel offended? Kind of but it didn’t matter as long as he didn’t force you to join.
Turning around in your chair once again you hear a loud nock. You quickly sit up and push your skirt neatly down before the person entered. When you see a face peek around the door you notice it was Yuta. He was the lieutenant in the base and was really close with your father.
"How may I help you Lieutenant Okkotsu?" You ask him.
He looks around the room before shuffling inside quietly. You could tell he just came back from working out since he was sweating. It was one of his favorite hobbies since supervising his subordinates wasnt enough.
"Is your dad here?" He asks as he places his hands behind himself. You shake your head as you look at him confused. You watched as his eyes averted from your face to your skirt.
"Going on a date?" He asks you.
"No, I was on my way to go out and eat with my friends but my dad called me so I had to show up like this." You roll your eyes .
"Well as someone who’s been here for a few years I can tell you it’s not safe here. Not with you wearing something as scandalous as that." He said walking towards you. He then grabs the corner of your skirt feeling how thin and flimsy the fabric was. "You know how long its been since some of these men seen a female look this revealing? They would jump at you in seconds." He continued.
Maybe wearing a laced shirt with a skirt and heels wasn’t the fit for today.
"Doesn’t that also apply to you Lieutenant?" You raise a brow as he towers over you. You and Yuta were always close. He always messed with you but made sure to keep a distance. After all you were the daughter of his commander. Your father wouldn’t be too fond knowing you got with one of these rough men. Now looking at his eyes they went from his playful ones to ones full of lust.
"I guess it does l/n," He smiles at you. "But you know if you want to get some respect around here and make sure these men are afraid to even look at you, you have to wifed up by someone in the high rankings. Ill have you know im on my way to being a captain" He says.
"What an honor to have a future captain flirting with me." You push his shoulder playfully.
He quickly swoops you up from the chair and spins you around twice before sitting down with you on his lap.
"Father won’t be so fond of you sitting in his chair, I believe I’m the only one allowed to do that." You look down at him. Wrapping your arms around his neck. Slowly leaning in you plant a kiss on his lip. The kiss somehow turns into something deeper. You feel as his hands run up to your skirt. Playing with the string of your panties. You gasp at the sudden touch of his cold calloused hand. His thumb playing aggressively with your bud. You moan into his mouth as you felt the heat pool underneath you. His hard member pressing against your heat.
Letting go from his lips you lean back and began unbuckling his belt. Pulling out his member that was so edger to be released. When you let go you watch how it hits his stomach. He lets out a quiet chuckle as he pulls you in. Lifting your skirt up and pulling your panties to the side. You felt as he slid inside of your already soaked lips.
The way he filled you up made you crazy. It was something that you’ve never felt until now. He grabbed you by the hips, lifting you up and slamming you back down. You let out a cry from the sudden pleasure. He did this a few more times until your legs were shaking and you wear completely soaked.
"Such a good girl, tell me who has the best cock." He said as he put you on the ground. He turned you around so you were facing the door and holding the desk.
"You do" you say as he spread your legs and aligned himself with your hole.
"I want to hear my name." He said slamming into you.
You feel your body jolt making you stutter out his name.
"I want to hear the name they call me here sweetheart." He said grabbing your chin and lifting it all the way up so you can see him.
"Lieutenant Okkotsu has the best cock." You proceeded to gasp as he began ramming into you. Your legs bagan to give out making him grab you by the hips to lift you up. You could barely touch the floor with the tips of your toes as he continued going in you. Using you like a pathetic flesh light. You probably looked so small compared to him right now. Being lifted so easily for his pleasure. If the military base found out by this you knew for sure they would be giving Yuta small little grins. Your body went up and down his member as he continued moving you. You didn’t know whether to be embarrassed on how you were being used or to find it hot.
Your fingers clawed at the desk as he went on with no break. He was fucking you like there was no tomorrow. That was until his radio began speaking.
"Lieutenant Okkotsu." You hear a deep voice say.
You can hear as the boy inside of you sighs. He reaches for his Walkie talkie.
"Yes general?" He says as he watched you slowly slump on the ground. For some odd reason seeing you on the ground hugging his leg for support turned him on more. He once again lifts you up like you weight nothing and sits you on his lap. Spreading your legs wide, hooking your thighs on his arms. His hand proceeding to play with your cat. Spanking it and fingering it.
"We’re going to have a meeting soon about missing supplies. Please come to the office in building 5 to start this meeting." The deep voice spoke.
His fingers began rubbing you fast making you a moaning mess. Your legs twitching and shaking from the sensation. You wanted to shut your legs closed but he had a strong hold of them keeping them in place. You grab his hand to make him slow down but there was no use. Quickly he covered your mouth his his hand somehow and picked up his device.
"Copy that general."
The second he threw the device to the side he let go of your mouth and kept rubbing you. You were now a total mess begging him to stop. Letting out one final cry before you came all over his hand.
"Let’s finish this later alright? I haven’t yet to come." He said lifting you up and setting you down to rest on the chair.
"Duties call," he said before kissing your forehead and placing his handkerchief in your hand.
#yuta okkotsu#jjk second years#jjk movie#yuta okkotsu x reader#yuta okkotsu x you#jjk x y/n#jjk 0 movie#jujutsu kaisen#yuta okkotsu x y/n#yuta okkotsu smut#second years#okkotsu yuuta x reader#jjk yuuta#yuuta x reader#yuuta smut#yuuta x you#okkotsu yuuta#yuuta x y/n#jjk#jjk men#jjk x you#jjk smut#jjk x reader
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The Four Times You meet Arkham Knight, and the One Time You meet Jason
summary: Your twin brother is dead, and he's not coming back. You know that, but when you see a man who acts just like Jason, you can't help but think of him.
tw: mentions of tranquilization (not on reader), guns, being knocked out, being threatened with a gun (not on reader), mentions of death, very brief mention of blood, reader feeling somewhat suicidal (not outwardly stated).
A/N: This is very angsty and I started crying towards the end of writing this. This is gender neutral! This is part 2 for the Jason Todd Twin Drabbles. Requests are open!
Tim Drake hurt you. He was a replacement for your brother, and yet, he didn’t mean to be. He was just a kid, just like you once were when starting out as Robin. He didn’t have good support, not from home, and especially not from Bruce. So, you became that for him, you took your grief and resentment, and you did your best to let it go. You would always love Jason, and you would always cry over him, but he’s dead, and you can’t change that.
Once you started coming around for the kid, he was sweet. He rambled and was skittish, but you grew to love the boy called your brother. But he didn’t take the grief away from losing your twin. He never would. So sometimes, you would bring yourself out to a roof. His death would hit you the most after a patrol. Whenever you both finished the night, you would get something to eat. You would celebrate you both winning. You don’t celebrate anymore, so you would cry. You didn’t cry anywhere other than a roof, after a patrol. As a kid, no one saw you cry, only Jason. He was the only one allowed, and you kept it that way. Your mask was off, the green mantle you wore was in your hands, clinging on for dear life in the wind.
That’s when you heard it over your loud sobs. Banging footsteps clashed on the roof’s surface, and you stood up. Your face drenched in tears and sweat from the fighting before. Before you was a man in a metal suit with the waist cinched in what looked like red camouflage. He wore heavy gear, and you looked up at him. He walked just like Jay did, and for a moment you imagine the random man as him. Tears flow from your eyes once more.
“I’m, I’m so sorry.” You say, wiping the tears from your eyes.
You feel him analyzing you, just like Tim does, and just like Bruce did all those years ago. “What for?” His voice is heavily modulated, you realize. It makes you suspicious, and you put your mask back on.
“You just,” you take a heavy swallow, “You reminded me of my brother.” The words slip out of your mouth before you realize it. You shouldn’t have let that information be known, especially to a man that looks as dangerous as he sounds.
“I’m sure your brother loves you.” You smile under the mask and let out a breathless laugh.
“He did. He loved me very much.” You nod towards the man in respect. “Thank you?” You leave it in a question, waiting for his name.
“I’m no one. Not yet anyways.” Then, he’s gone, just like your brother.
Eventually, you found out who “no one” was, and he was in fact, not a no one. “Arkham Knight” the new big bad of Gotham. Is Gotham the only place villains care to go too?? You sigh, as Batman flies to the bridge while you run, but Arkham Knight wasn’t your focus for right now, it was scarecrow. You see Gordon and his men in the distance, and you come to a stop.
While your father comes to a landing, you go up to the cop. He looks weary, and you could understand why. “Have you heard anything else, or is it still silent?” You ask the man, looking up at the building connected to the bridge. Batman walks behind you, listening on.
“Nothing. We think there’s a skeleton crew in there, but they're not responding, and the facility is on lockdown.” You and the Bat share a look.
“Green, I want you in there. Keep your guard up and be careful.” You nod towards your father, and your heart aches a little. He only started saying be careful when Jason died. He didn’t want to lose another kid, and even if you were mad at him for replacing your brother with Tim, you could never hate Bruce. You start a jog to the facility, and you bring out your tranquilizer gun, keeping a steady hold on it. You turn your head when you hear a loud “brr” sound in the distance. A helicopter flies in the air, and you furrow your eyebrows.
“What the hell...” You mumble, and you turn your gaze to your father and Gordon. You then see the large rockets on the side of the helicopter. “Shit!” You start to run away from the door, but instead of being shot, the area between you and the others are. The helicopter drives up to Batman as he walks up to it. You can barely hear anything, the helicopter wings blocking everything out, but over your comms you gather that same modulated voice saying don’t shoot her.
You have no time to think over it when the helicopter flies up, and the big doors behind you open. You hear your father yell out your hero's name as two cars with extended guns on the roof point at you. You run out of the way, but once again the guns don’t shoot at you, they only target Batman. You quickly realize the bias, putting two and two together. Whoever this is doesn't want you, they want Batman. You use this chance of distraction to run into the facility. You set out your grappling hook, and it carries you up onto the ‘ACE Chemicals’ sign.
“Green, are you in?” You hear Bruce speak through the comms.
“Yes. I’m on the sign. The men below noticed me flying in, but other than that, they can’t find me.” You grapple onto the actual building. You land softly onto the concrete and make your way onto the side. A large drop is there, and you get shivers down your spine. You kick in one of the windows and then jump through. You scan the area, bringing out your tranquilizer gun, but the room is empty.
“I’m in a room now, there are desks and a large whiteboard with notes, but other than that, it’s nothing important.”
“Good, I’m making my way in now.”
“Heard.” You open the door, and eye the hallway. You feel eerie, and you worry that it's a trap. You let out a breath and continue walking down the hallway. You make your way downstairs, and it’s still empty.
“I’m in the building.”
“I’m on the second to last hallway. It’s empty, no one in sight.” You hear nothing else on the other end, so you continue your descent. It’s like this for a while, until you hear a man struggling behind a door.
“HELP...! HELPP, PLEASE!” You kick open the door, your gun pointed out in front. You see Arkham Knight pointing a gun towards a man tied up in rope.
Arkham Knight looks at you, and you shudder. “It’s about time you showed up. I began to worry.” His tone is mocking, and you scowl, putting your finger on the trigger.
“What the hell are you talking about?!” You yell; confusion clear in your voice.
He lets out a sardonic laugh. “C’mon baby bird, you really don’t know?” You frown. No one called you that other than Dick or Jay, and for a moment you hope. You hope that this man is really your brother, your Jason.
“Jay?” You mumble, and you wait. You wait for him to give you a sign that it is him. That this is your brother. He rips off the helmet, and you drop your gun. It’s your brother, your sweet big brother. Your twin. He’s alive. You run to him, disregarding the tied-up man, and you hear Bruce speak over the comms, trying to reach you. You don’t listen to his voice, you only hold Jason tight, crying on his shoulder.
“Shhh, I know baby bird, I know.” He holds you tight, just like he did when you were kids, and you cry even more.
“Green! Green, are you with me?” Batman yells over comms.
“Batman, I think it’s time I take my twin off your hands. I’ll take care of them far better than you ever did anyways.” You lift your head up from his shoulders.
“Jay, what-” He hits the back of your neck, and your vision goes spotty. The last thing you see is your brother picking you up.
When you wake up, you’re lying on a bed. You have new clothes on, and your suit is nowhere to be found. When you try to get up, you realize your legs are chained to the bed. You struggle against the chains, feeling betrayed by your brother. Not only that, but you feel wronged. Why would he do this? Why would he try to kill Bruce? Why would he kill innocent people? What happened to your brother? Why is he acting this way?
“JASON!” You yell, anger clear in your voice. Immediately, the door swings open, and your twin brother walks in. He’s out of his suit, and you admire his new features even in your anger. He has a streak of white hair, and a J gouged in his cheek. He looks over at you, as he sits on the end of the bed. You scowl, “Jason, what the hell is this?” You lift up both your legs.
He looks down at the chains, and smirks boyishly. It reminds you of when you were younger, and you turn your face away. This isn’t teenage boy Jay, this is Arkham Knight, and he certainly is not your brother. You feel stupid. You feel incredibly stupid for falling in his trap. He used your grief to make you weak, and it worked. You almost feel proud; he was always smarter than you.
He reaches out to you, touching your face. “I missed you.” His voice is earnest, and that hurts you even more, because you know he means it.
“Stop this, Jason. Please. Stop this.” You plead, you don’t know what for. Maybe you want him to stop trying to kill Bruce, maybe you want him to stop touching you, or maybe you want him to stop pretending. You don’t know, and that hurts you all the more.
“No. I won’t stop. He let me die, Bruce fucking left me to die!” He yells, and you flinch back, crying. “Do you know how long I waited?! How long I wished for Batman to save me, to have my partner save me!”
“We tried!” You scream back, tears flooding from your eyes. “We tried Jason. We searched for you for days, and we couldn’t find you.” You break down crying, and you hug yourself. “I never stopped. I didn’t believe anyone when they said you were dead, not until I saw what Joker sent, and even then. I never stopped.” He wraps his arms around you, holding you to his chest.
“I’m sorry...” His voice cracks, “Please don’t cry. You know I hate it when you cry.” And he did. He hated when you cried, so he would hold you. He would hold you, just like this. “I promise, I’ll make it better.” He whispers, and then he kisses your forehead. You see him get off the bed and walk out of the room.
You don’t react, but you can’t help but feel the same when he died. You couldn’t do anything now, and you couldn’t do anything then.
It takes you a day to break off the chains. Your fingers feel numb and bloody from holding them tight, and kicking them against the bed frame, but it works, and they break. You get the bed frame and shove it against the door. You know there’s cameras in the room, but you pay it no mind. By the time his goons get here, you’ll already be gone.
You walk over the only window in the room. It’s large enough to get through, but the only problem is you have no gear to jump off with. The drop is far too high to not get hurt in some way, and so you rip the sheets off the bed. You hear banging on the door, and you sigh. You got too cocky and didn’t think it through that you needed a fucking way out of the window.
You look out the window once more, and you feel tired. You feel like giving up. If you jump out of this window now, there’s a chance you’ll survive, and a higher chance you won’t. They’ve busted open the door, and in the distance, you see Arkham Knight first and foremost behind his men. Your heart breaks as your brother yells out your name, your real name, but you jump.
And you live.
The world is white, and you advert your eyes from the searing color. You feel pain all across your body, and that’s how you know you survived. You hear a machine, and you realize it’s a heart monitor. You're on a white bed, with a blue gown on, and you sit up. You smile when you see Tim and Barbara. They both have fallen asleep leaning on each other. Behind the glass window, connected to the hallway, you see your dad and Jason talking.
They haven’t noticed you yet, and you wish to keep it that way. Tim’s eyes start to flutter, and once he realizes you're up, he jumps out of the chair. “You’re awake!” He yells, wrapping his arms around you.
You laugh, and you hug him back. “Hey Timmy, how are you?” He rolls his eyes and sits on the bed with you.
“How am I? How are you? You almost died! Do you know how worried we all were?” You feel guilty, so you squeeze his shoulder.
“I know and I’m sorry. But I’m here now, and so are you.” You hear Barbara roll her chair towards the bed.
“That you are. We were worried sick.” She says, and you almost want to cry again.
“I know.” You hug her, and she hugs you back.
“We missed you. I missed you.” She whispers in your ear, and you press a kiss to her head. You glance out the window, looking at the two men.
“What’s up with that?” You ask. Barbara just sighs, and Tim looks away nervously.
“Jason is... Back. However, him and Bruce have been going at it for days. Maybe they’ll stop once they realize you’re awake but...” She shrugs. You look at Jason, and he finally notices you. He starts to walk in the room with Bruce following right behind him.
“Where’s Dick?” You ask.
“He’s on his way.” Bruce says, then he goes to hug you, covering your whole body. You hug him back, squeezing the man.
“How you feeling, old man?” Your tone is teasing, and he sighs.
“Tired of being berated by my own kids.” You smirk and pat his shoulders. Then, you look at Jason, and without hesitation, you jump into his arms. He catches you; he always does.
“I missed you,” you whisper, holding him tight.
“I know baby bird, I know. I’m back, and I won’t be going anywhere else.”
#batfam#batfam x batsis#batfam x batbro#gender neutral reader#male reader#female reader#batfamily#dc universe#orbweaverspidergirl#jason todd#arkham knight#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#batman#batfamily x reader#jason todd x platonic reader#orbweaverwrites#agnst
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Alone
Pairing: no one really.
Summary: Reader starts to feel left out in her own family...
Warnings: Neglection. Suicide thoughts. Self harm (in detail) please go back if any of these bother you. Your mental heath matters more.
A/N: I think I need therapy too...
Masterlist Part 2(Azriel) Part 2(Eris)
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Ever wondered what it's like to be alone?
It's a game, really. A game of utter self degradation. A game where there are only two players, you and your mind. A game where you never truly win and you always have to keep playing because your brain never tires.
A game which no one else realizes your playing until you lose and it's too late.
It's the game you have been playing ever since the Archerons joined the inner circle. You love them all, honestly. Thier different personalities was the first thing that drew you to them. You admir all three of them but the one thing you hate is how you got left alone after their involvement to your life.
Before them, you all relied on all of you for company and support. Now, everybody has their own person.
Rhysand has Feyre, Cassian has Nesta, Azriel has Elain, and Mor and Amren have found thier partners too but in case they aren't present, Mor and Amren, as crazy as it sounds, rely on each other. Just like that, everybody has a person to go home to, to come back safely for, to turn to for comfort.
You don't have anyone.
You hate going home because your bed is always empty. You hate going on missions because you know no one would be worrying about you every minute you gone. You hate celebrations because you have no one to dance with, to drink with, to end the day with.
You love family dinners. Even though you never get a chance to speak, even though you never talk to anyone, even though no one notices your presence. You love family dinners and meetings because it's the only time youre not alone.
It's doesn't matter if you're lonely, at least you aren't alone.
But in the game you're playing with yourself, after a while, you get too tired to challenge back with same force. You don't push back the mean thoughts your mind throws at you as insults. You listen to them, compare them to your situation and realise, you've been trying to win for nothing.
You slowly stop trying to protect yourself all together.
The first time you didn't go to a family dinner, you thought you would regret it later but you didn't, instead you felt glad that you didn't go because no one had come to get you, no one came to ask why you didn't show, no one cared about you enough to think why you didn't go.
So you stopped going at all.
You stopped doing everything with you 'family' and prefered being left alone.
You only met them when you had a mission together or anything related to work.
Just like that, today you had gone to one of the Illyrian camps at Rhys orders. He got report saying things haven't been going as they should there and wanted you to go check. But on your way back you had been ambushed by a group of six men wanting to kill you in the camp, they couldn't of course but you did come out of the fight with a large sward wound on your left side.
All you wanted to do was go home, rest, tend to your wound and sleep. You can give the report to Rhys tomorrow.
You let out a grunt and step in your house, immediately tense seeing a shadow of a person move the dark room. Your hand placing itself in your dagger straped to your thigh, you other hand on the left side of your waist pressing on your wound.
"Relax, it's just me." A familiar voice fills the silence as the fae lights turn on and Rhysands face becomes visible. You sigh in relief and furrow your eyebrows,"What you doing so late in my house?" You nearly snap, but hold back as respect for your high lord.
"You came late you were suppose to be here two hours ago." For minute it feels like he cares for you, and you allow yourself to believe that he was worried for you but you fantasy shatters the second he opens his mouth again. "You were supposed to deliver your report two hours ago. You know how important this is, I have other things to do too." His voice sharp as he scolds you.
"You're right, I'm sorry. I got attacked while leaving, it took time to fight them of. It was six against one but well I managed to survive, eh?" Rhysand's scowl deepens. "Tell me what happened there now."
Your eyes closs for a second whem you feel dizzy. "Look, how about you give me ten minutes to freshen up, and I also have a wound to–," You try to say but he cuts you off saying,"I don't have more time. Tell me right now what happened so I can get started on fixing things, then you can have all the time to fresh up as you want. My office, now." He doesn't leave much to room to argue and winnows you to his office.
You sigh and start speaking, repeating everything you noticed in the camp as Rhysand listens and writes down the report. Near the end, you feel another wave of dizziness hit you and put your head down to rest it against the backrest of your chair and groan when you feel pain shoot up from your injury from the movement.
Rhysand finally notices the source of your pain and his eyes flare,"You're hurt?" You scoff. "Yes. That's what I was trying to tell you before you winnowed us here."
"I didnt notice it. I'm sorry, you should go tend to it." He quickly dismisses you, finally letting you go back to your house.
As you look at yourself in the mirror, thinking how filthy and hideous you seem, you grit your teeth. Of course no one notices you. Look at you. You are ugly and filled with dirt and scars all over your body.
How could anyone look at you when you can't even look at yourself.
Your gaze falls to your wound, the big cut that spread from under you left breast to the start of your thigh. If was deep enough to bleed you dry.
Would anyone even notice if you did? If you don't heal and let the injury bleed you dead. Would anyone know that you were gone? That your body layed unmoving in the bathroom floor. How long would it take for someone to find you? Who would find you? Probably Rhysand when he needs you for his next mission.
You eye your dagger that you unshielded on your way in the bathroom. How long would it take for you to bleed out? Hours? Days? You didn't want that. That was too much. You don't think you can handle that much pain constantly. Maybe if you took that dagger and deepen your cut, you would bleed out faster. Maybe you would have a faster death. Sure it would hurt but at least you would be gone before someone found you.
You would be free. Free of the loneliness. Free of the feeling like you were a burden in everyone's life. Free of wanting Someone to care for you the way you see everyone else care for their loved ones. You would finally be at peace.
You gasp and blink out the terrible thoughts. Breathing heavy, you search for the cotton and Healing cream in the cupboards. You groan out with you don't find any of them.
You turn back to the mirror. Maybe your brain is right. Maybe this is a sign from Mother herself telling you to not let the wound heal and die right here, right now. Your gaze finds the knife again, eyeing the sharp edge. Would it really be that bad?
Your hand grips the handle of the dagger, bringing it closer to the cut. You let the cold mettle edge scrap the skin, an inch afar the start of the cut. The sharp edge slicing through skin like paper, leaving a line of crimson red blood, seeping out of the newly cut skin.
Your eyes widen as you observe yourself, keeping the knife near the cut but not touching it entirely.
It's... mesmerizing. The way blood slowly comes out of the skin, the small and steady lines created by your dagger are engrossing. And the pain, the pain is hypnotizing, slowing raising to the rest of your body. Your body feels electrified, there's snips of pain tingling through out your entire body, your ears buzzing with excitement. Your hands are shaking and eyes bluring but all you can focus on is how much you want to do this again. Feel your skin open beneath you knife again. Feel the pain that slowing raises with each extra inch of cut.
Oh gods. What have you done?
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#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar fandom#acotar x reader#acotar angst#angst#tw: sucidal thoughts#tw: self loathing#tw: self half#your mental health matters#love you guys#azriel x reader#rhysand x reader#cassian x reader#inner circle x reader#eris x reader
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Weight of My Sins, Part 1
Summary: You thought life on the ranch was over. Couldn't bear the sight of Kayce anymore, so you fled all the way to Texas. You found a new relationship. You lived. You got a degree. But you missed Montana more than anything, but he wasn't leaving Texas. Now you're back on the ranch, and you and Kayce both lived your life. But that draw to him is still there, even if you're terrified to let those walls back down again. No matter how much you crave him.
Pairings: Kayce Dutton X Reader
Rating: mature
Warnings: explicit language, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 5.1K
Series Masterlist
*dividers created by @saradika-graphics
“Stop fidgeting,” Rip’s gruff voice bellows in the truck, and you press your hands under your legs. Continuing to stare out your window. The closer you get to the ranch the worse the feeling in the pit of your stomach gets. This has got to be a bad idea, and nothing good can come of it. You need a job just as much as you need a place to stay. And Rip did you a solid in getting John to allow that for you. Under different circumstances this would be the perfect solution to your problem.
“You’re going to stay in the bunkhouse, so I’ll have to go over some ground rules with the wranglers,” you roll your eyes as you turn to look at him. Ever the protective big brother role. He isn’t your biological big brother. Just a man that felt sorry for you as a kid, and helped out when he could. You were his pet project. And one of the few people he was kinda nice to. Some things never change.
“I don’t want you fucking around with them. And believe me, they’re a bunch of lonely, horny cowboys.”
“Aww, but you’re not interested in me. Are you still lonely and horny?” He gives you an eat shit grin, shaking his head. You are not the least bit worried about the wranglers. They are the least of your worries. “What if this doesn’t work out?”
“Grow a pair of balls and make it work,” he shrugs as the ranch comes into view. Immediately your fingers start fidgeting under your thighs. So many memories remained here. Up until the point that you left for veterinary school. Anything to help out the ranch. That’s Rip’s philosophy, even if he won’t say it. Anything.
“Quit fidgeting!” He growls at you.
“I’m not!” You don’t want to admit that being here is turning your stomach inside out. Don’t want to admit what just seeing the last name Dutton does to you. Some things just are better left unexplored. Especially now that you’re going into his territory. His home.
Rip puts the truck into park, and you inhale slowly. Letting the fresh air fill your lungs before you slowly exhale. Popping your neck for good measure before you sling the door open, and jump out. Time seems to stand still here. Very little has changed, except your age. “Come on,” your adopted brother says, and you follow along with his long strides.
Slinging the door open, Rip drops your meager duffle bag on the floor, and every man in there turns to glare at you. Lloyd gives you a slight dip of his chin, “Welcome back, Bronc,” you nod to him. The others you don’t truly recognize.
“This here is like a little sister to me. You treat her with fucking respect, and you stay out of her damn pants,” clearing their throats they return to their card game, leaving you puffing out a nervous breath before giving Rip a head nod. “Yep. That’s it,” he says, turning on his heels, and leaving you in this den of bears.
“Which bunk is available?”
“One of those back ones,” Lloyd points in the direction without removing his eyes from his hand. You didn’t expect a grand welcome, but this is pathetic. Your eyes roam around each of the bunks. Examining the spaces, looking for anything familiar.
“He’s not here,” Lloyd answers, finally looking at you.
“Who?” the old man’s eyebrows lift, as he nods at you sarcastically. Judging asshole. You weren’t looking for anyone. You were trying to figure out how you fit in with these men. Reaching into your bag, you stuff a few peppermints into your pocket. You sling your duffle bag onto the bunk before turning to go towards the door, “I’m going out.”
“Uh huh,” Lloyd answers knowingly. You didn’t care what the man thought of you. You need to get out of this room. It’s stifling being in this bunkhouse. Hell, it’s stifling being here. With all these memories. But ones that you love so much. You miss it.
Sighing at your contradictory thoughts, you kick gravel as you walk to the barn. Getting away from humans, and joining animals. They were better than humans. They didn’t offer any words of wisdom, or judgement. They are just there. Lifting up a peppermint to one of them, he eats the treat off your hand, and you lean your head against his nose petting him.
“First night here, and you’re already spoiling my horse, Bronc,” you didn’t have to see him to know that voice. The one voice that makes you weak in the knees, and sick to your stomach all at the same time. The one voice that has stuck to you like a bad habit, and you seek comfort in it with every sylablle.
“Dutton,” you respond before starting to walk away. He steps in front of you, and you turn to walk the other direction, but he jumps in front of you again. His mouth turns up into that irresistible smile, and ‘it just makes you angry, and also makes you want to touch him. The conflicting emotions just don’t stop.
“Why are you feeding my horse treats?”
“Why are you hiding in the dark?” He shrugs. A cute smile creeps onto his face, and you bashfully look away as heat flares your cheeks, “Did you follow me out here?”
“No, I didn’t know you were going to be here. Why are you here?”
Somehow him not knowing you are going to be living here floods you with relief. “This baby wanted a little treat, and I doubt you were giving him anything.”
“You’ve not changed,” smiling, you let your eyes coast down his body, freezing at an ugly ring on his finger, and your blood turns cold. Why is he even here giving you any ounce of hope? He notices where your sight is, and hides his hand, but it’s too late. Everything from that last night boils in your chest.
“But you’ve changed,” you try to smile, and it just hurts. You didn’t expect Kayce to not have a life and live it, but moving on with a wife is not what you expected.
“It’s complicated,” is the only thing he says as he stuffs his hands in his pocket.
“It always is with you, Dutton,” you respond, starting to walk away. This time he doesn’t follow. You can almost see him standing there with his pretty puppy eyes.
“We’re separated,” you stop in your tracks, but don’t turn around. Saying something like that is almost a death sentence. Separated did not mean they weren’t going to get back together. It could mean they needed space. And you weren’t going to be the space he filled. You sigh, turning to look at him.
“Mmm, I don’t know if that’s good enough, Kayce,” his smile doesn’t falter. You used his first name. Using that name is so much warmer than using Dutton. When you bring out the last name, he knows you’re slightly annoyed.
Walking up to you, his calloused fingers brush over your cheeks, and he pulls you in for a familiar embrace. Caressing your back as he brings you too close. Like your bodies were made to meld together.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” you respond, pushing out of his hold and you turn to give the horse a kiss.
Your body is on fire. Trembling as you take a step back from him. His scent of sunshine and leather blinds you. The want for him is almost too strong. “What do you want?”
He grunts, “You,” but you shake your head no. Everything is always so damn complicated with him. “We are separated.”
“And yet, you’re still married.”
“Do you think that if I was happily married I’d be out here after midnight? I’ve moved back to the ranch, and we rarely talk, unless it has to do with,” his voice goes softer, and your eyes slowly close, “My son,” the twisting of that knife hurts so much worse than hearing he’s married. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Yeah. And I can imagine how it is with you. You come here to be separated, and somehow you end up feeling sorry for yourself, and lonely, and then you're driving out wherever, and right back into her arms to play house. Is that how it goes?”
“Not exactly.”
“Why is it different now?” There’s no answer that he could give you that would make you feel better. You’re left feeling like a junkie, and your drug of choice is Kayce John Dutton. Always was. Probably always will be.
“Because of you.”
“Oh, no. I just got here, and you don’t get to come here with your pretty words when I’m trying to do a damn job. You and your cute ass need to keep things professional. I don’t need this Kayce. It’s my first night.”
“So you don’t hate me?” You could never truly hate Kayce. You could have your heart broken by him. Again. But you’ve never hated him.
“No, but I’m also not fucking you,” he chuckles as you walk backwards, and out of the barn.
“Again!” He yells, too loud, and you hope that no one hears the two of you out here alone. You didn’t need any rumors going around about how you were fucking him in the barn on the first night.
“It was a mistake,” you wink at him. Lying in this instance is a way to protect you. There’s nothing that you regret with Kayce. Not on your end.
“And why was it a mistake?”
“Premature ejaculation,” he looks down at his feet, as he toes the ground, “Due to the fact that neither of us knew what we were doing. But it sure did get us into a lot of trouble, huh? Have a good evening, Dutton.”
“That wasn’t nice,” he peeks up at you, smiling anyways.
“Nice? Was it nice that I saw you with some girl in our spot? You sure were curled up, and enjoying her with your mouth. Was that nice?”
“Wait…” you have to rip the bandaid, and let him know that you knew what he was doing. You should have confronted him then. Maybe you could have truly moved on and healed. Maybe you wouldn’t have longed for Montana, and those pretty brown eyes still.
You shake your head, because you need space from him. He is crowding your thoughts, and your vagina. If you didn’t get away, you’d be rolling around in the hay with him. “I get we were teenagers. Too young to be fucking. And too stupid to remain faithful.
“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Like we have a choice,” he stands there smiling. Not fully defeated by your words. You weren’t bending to his words and charm, but you also weren’t refusing to talk to him. “Don’t wear the ring.”
“Whatever you say, Bronc,” you wouldn’t forgive him if he kept showing up with that ugly thing. It pains you to know that he went off and married someone and had a child with someone that wasn’t you, and you couldn’t blame him either. He’d moved on, and in so many ways you haven’t.
You hope you don’t regret this decision to be here. Hope that Kayce doesn’t infect your mind, and heart in the way he’s always done. Knowing that he’s married, even if separated, helps. And he has a kid. Time didn’t change your feelings because you still ache for him.
Separated.
What did that even mean? How did he define that word?
How long has he been separated? Were his sweet words anything more than that? Would he return to his wife? He has a kid with her, so it’s not like he can just walk away easily. Unless he already has. But how can you be sure that this is it? It’s the end and he’s never going to be with her again? And if he was sure, why not going through a divorce?
No. You’re here to do a job, and doing a job is what you’re going to do. You want to be treated just like everyone else on this damn ranch. You weren’t going to become a love sick puppy for him. You’re going to enjoy the Montana air. The view here. And finally doing something with your life. And for you.
“Bronc and I are going to take the back,” Kayce smiles at Rip, and the older man’s eyes narrow at him.
“Why?” he asks, giving you a quick look as you saddle up a horse, ignoring the conversation. You’ll go where you’re told. “Why are you bringing up the rear, and why is she even coming out with us?”
“Because if something happens, we have a licensed vet right with us. She’s bringing up the rear because she’s never gone out with us before, and this will give her a chance to learn.”
Rip places his hands on his hips, gazing out to the sunrise, sighing, “I’m still not sure why you’re with her. Put Jimmy in the rear with her, and — why the hell are you shaking your head at me?”
“She doesn’t know Jimmy.”
“And yet she sleeps in the bunkhouse with him,” Kayce clears his throat, and only because the last place that he wants you to be is with Jimmy. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“Bronc and I are taking the rear. Jimmy’s got flank. Is the bunkhouse really the best place for her to be?”
“Hell, Kayce, she’s not going to learn anything by getting special treatment,” you aren’t getting special treatment from him. He just wants to make sure you stay comfortable, and be with him. He needs more time to talk to you. “Fine,” Rip growls, getting on his horse. “She’s your responsibility then.”
“I’ll try to keep her out of trouble.”
Rip turns his horse around and heads towards the front, “Bronc, you're with Kayce in the back,” you sigh, climbing onto the horse. Kayce gives you a wink as he climbs on his own, and waits for you.
“You’re not subtle, you know?” He shrugs, and you can’t help but take a peek at his hand. The ring thankfully is gone. He kept his word. And while it does ease your stomach, there’s still a part of you that knows that still isn't enough. It’s easy to not wear a ring in private. It’s easy to pretend it doesn’t mean a thing, but it does. It should.
“Are you planning on making sure we’re always together?” He shrugs again. He’s the one that wanted you in the rear with him, and now he’s not talking. But maybe you’re just not asking the right questions. “So how have you been?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m better now,” you scoff, keeping your eyes on the cattle. “What? Is my response not satisfactory? Remember you left Montana.”
“And you had your hands in some other girl's pants.”
He winces, sucking air through his teeth, “Are you ever going to let me explain, so I can maybe get your forgiveness? I told you I was stupid?”
“Are you ever going to do it again?”
“Are you ever going to go on a date with me?”
“Not anytime soon,” you click your tongue, and tap your heels on the horse. Speeding up a bit more, but he keeps his pace with you. “Things can’t go back to how they were,” you wonder if he thought any relationship can return to how they were before, or if you’re just the lucky one. Did he still carry a torch for you, like you did him?
“So no more sneaking off into my room, doing things we were too young to be doing?” Him and his stupid little smile get you every time. Not to mention the passion you always felt with Kayce. You were never going through the motions, you loved every moment with him. Even your fights that quickly were resolved, and you went on loving each other anyways, and loving harder.
“Why did you leave?” His voice darkens, and he turns his face away from you.
“I needed air,” he nods, understanding. You needed to get away from him. “Why did you do it?”
“Kiss someone that wasn’t my girlfriend?”
“You weren’t just kissing.”
“Yeah, that’s all we did,” you shake your head no. That is not what she implied happened. And just kissing is enough anyways. “It was stupid. And I quickly realized that she wasn’t you, and did I say that I was stupid?”
“You did,” you look over towards him, smiling, “But you can keep saying it,” a comfortable silence settles between the two of you, and you breathe in the fresh mountain air. Realizing all the reasons that you missed Montana, but also the Yellowstone. Things are peaceful in their way, of course, but there’s just this home feeling here.
“Did you miss it?”
“Do you mean did I miss you?” You turn to peek towards Kayce, and he chuckles, shaking his head.
“I asked if you missed it as in this?”
“Every day,” you enjoyed school, and you would do it all over again for the experience, and to say you have a skill. You did miss some of the people, and now that you’re here you miss some of the people in Texas. One of the people.
“What did — did you — I mean,” he clears his throat. Looking up to the clear blue sky, before back over towards you. You already know exactly what he’s struggling to ask, and it’s due to the fact he doesn’t really want to know. “How was Texas?”
“You want to ask me the real question?” sometimes it’s best to just know the truth, and lay it all out there. Even if you’re scared to know the answer. You can learn ways to cope or just get over it.
Kayce sniffs deeply, and tilts his head to the side in thought, “Did you meet anyone there?” Not the right question. He’s such a coward.
“Cowboy up, Kayce. You can do better than that if you really want to know. Just ask me like a man.”
“Are you dating anyone?”
“No.”
“Did you?”
“Was that so hard?” Surprisingly he nods his head. He can respond but just asking was like pulling teeth, and it kinda gave you a bit of a confidence boost. “I did. Was. I was dating someone. It was pretty serious, but he wanted to stay in Texas, and I wanted to be back here. We split amicably, and I packed up my stuff, moved out, and now I’m back here.”
“What was he like?” His jaw flexes when he asks. He doesn’t truly want to know what he is like, but you’re going to tell him anyway. Kayce always had a possessive streak. It never reached toxic heights, thankfully.
“He’s a mechanic. Older than me. He’s a good guy. He didn’t have much growing up, but he made something of himself, despite his setbacks,” Kayce just nods his head, refusing to look at you. You like seeing him squirm a bit. Not that you’re into comparing, but you didn’t have a child with him, nor were you married. “I think you’d like him.”
“Not likely.”
“He played football.”
“Definitely wouldn’t like him then. Let me guess, he’s just a regular ole pretty boy that treated you okay, but it wasn’t great? Maybe borderline annoyed you?”
“He’s a good guy. We were getting to a more steady part of our relationship. It wasn’t too exciting. And we never fought,” Kayce snorts, causing you to look towards him. “We didn’t.”
“Sounds like there was no passion.”
“You mean it doesn’t sound like us?”
“We’re adults now, Bronc. We’re not going to act like two lovestruck teenagers anymore. We were figuring ourselves out. We didn’t know the meaning of compromising. Now we’re grown,” no, you weren’t teenagers anymore. He’d definitely grown. At times you and Kayce just didn’t want to see eye to eye. There was absolutely no compromising in your relationship. So him admitting that makes you feel happy. You left something steady, albeit boring at times, because the two of you couldn’t compromise on where to live. He wasn’t leaving Texas, and you wanted to be in Montana.
“So just how boring was this guy?”
“Tell me about your son,” you counter. Kayce smirks while looking up ahead to the herd. You aren’t supposed to go out with them often, but you wanted to see the land again. “How old?”
“He’s eight.”
“You didn’t waste any time did you?”
“He wasn’t planned, and I was distraught. I don’t regret him though. He’s perfect. Reminds me of myself.”
“Did you love her?” He goes silent. His puppy dog eyes scan over everything as he contemplates. “I think I loved him,” Kayce turns to look at you, his smile now returning. “What?”
“Did you ever tell him?”
“Yes.”
“So did you lie?” It’s an odd thing to say, really. It shouldn’t be hard for you to admit that yes you loved him or no you didn’t. It felt right at the time but hindsight is always twenty twenty. Now, you’re unsure just how you felt about him, “So what you mean is you didn’t love him like you loved me?”
“No,” definitely not what you meant. Right? All those years weren’t a lie. You had fun. You enjoyed yourself. You loved, and felt loved, and — so easily left it for here. And Kayce. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to,” he looks towards you, slowing his horse down, but your mind is racing too much to try and look at him. You need space again, and yet have to stay. You want to run, but towards him or away from him? You knew that the forever there complicated feelings towards Kayce would return the moment you saw him, but you weren’t prepared for this. And if you left again, those feelings would remain. Eventually you’ll have to explore those feelings.
Questioning your relationship was not something you had planned. You loved him, but could live without him. It’s why you chose to come here. Back home. And to him. So why is it so hard to admit that out loud, and to Kayce. Why does this man crowd your brain space, and make you question every decision you’ve ever made.
The only reason you left Montana was to get space from him. You needed to breathe and make sense out of everything going on. And to find yourself without him in it. Without anyone in your life. To know you could do it. Kayce was supposed to give you time to figure this out. You could have a life out of this bubble.
This beautiful, amazing bubble.
“Why did you come back?”
“This is the place that has always felt like home.”
“Because it’s where I’m at,” he sure is cocky. Brazenly full of himself. Part of this being home is him. But that doesn’t mean that you are referring to him as home. It means… “You can deny it all you want, but…”
Kayce clicks his tongue, and starts a faster gallop, leaving you contemplating what he said. It’s what he does. He weasels into your brain, and makes you think and question things. And then he finds himself in your pants, and then in your heart. But that isn’t the concerning thing, the concerning part is not fully knowing if he is correct. And do you want him there?
“You know what I always liked about that girl?” Kayce looks up at his dad, confusion laced in his eyes. “She never tried to change you.”
“Who?”
“Oh, are you still denying that you had a thing with Rip’s little orphan project?” Instead of responding, his son takes another bite of food. The two of you weren’t exactly quiet about your feelings for one another, but you also didn’t parade it around. “I see. So she comes back to town, being hired on as a personal vet or wrangler, I can’t keep up. And the first thing she does is go on the trail with you, and rides right beside you? Okay.”
John eats a piece of meat, smiling at his son who still says nothing. “You speak more when she’s around.”
“Are we going to talk about Bronc this whole dinner?”
“Still got that same nickname for her. How do you feel about her sharing a bunkhouse with a bunch of men?” Kayce despises it. Hates even thinking about someone getting too close to you. He’d offer for you to stay with him, but you’d immediately jump to conclusions. You could sleep where you wanted to, but he did have an extra room. “I see. Must make you sick to think about all those cowboys around fresh meat. We know Bronc can take care of herself. But she did just get out of a relationship because he didn’t want to take things to the next step.”
“He didn’t want to move to Montana.”
“Where she wanted to get married, and settle down with him,” John shrugs as he wipes his mouth with his napkin. “She’s quite vulnerable. Don’t push her, but don’t have her too far away from you,” he nods as he pushes his chair back from the table. “You should offer her some of the food Gator made. I’m sure it’s better than whatever microwave food she’s got there.”
—
There is a lot of freedom being here. However, the food sucks. You’ll have to remedy that soon. Sitting out on the porch, you kick up your feet, and inhale deeply. Letting the mountains absorb your problems. Hope that they will, so you have some clarity.
Even with everyone in the bunkhouse carrying on and playing a game of poker, you feel relaxed. Today felt good. You didn’t exactly know what your job here would entail; maybe you’d need to travel to some other ranches and tend to their animals. But tonight, it’s just you. And the annoying music coming from somewhere.
You won’t let it bother you.
You don’t care if it’s annoying ‘country’ music. What even is that shit? Nope. It won’t bother you. You’ll just sit and eat your microwave Mac and cheese, and ignore whatever is going on over there. This is your bubble. Your safe space. You are calm and collected. Not annoyed at all.
That music is just very obnoxious, and you swear it’s getting louder. You could ask them to be quiet. You don’t even know whose cabin it is. Someone that works here, obviously. But it’s like they're purposefully trying to get under your skin.
You sigh as you stand up stretching. Going inside the bunkhouse would involve you trying to ignore the wranglers. While not impossible, you’re now more curious as to who is being obnoxious. It won’t hurt to go check it out.
Making sure to throw your garbage away, you start to head towards the door, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Lloyd calls after you, but you don’t listen. Don’t even turn around. You have some exploring to do.
You have to know. Need to know who it is. You don’t have far to walk judging by the sound. It’s close. Far enough away from the bunkhouse for some privacy. There’s nobody here that would hurt you. There could be other things that could be dangerous.
“What are you doing out alone?!” You spin around, and hit him due to your veins coursing with adrenaline. “Ow, you still got an arm on you,” Kayce winces, rubbing his arm.
“Why the fuck are you sneaking up on me in the middle of the night?” Whisper screaming as you hit him again. “What is wrong with you, and what is the deal with this shitty music?”
“So the music worked?” You stare at him dumbfounded, trying to figure out what he’s meaning. “It got you over here, didn’t it?”
“You ass, Kayce Dutton. I was minding my business, eating dinner, and looking at the stars.”
“Your dinner wasn’t good enough,” you have to look away when he licks his lips. Causing every fiber in your body to heat up. Being with him alone in the dark is a sure fire way to get you in trouble. You’re resisting the urge. You could fall for Kayce again, just not tonight.
“Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?”
“I brought a plate from the lodge,” bare minimum. Don’t fall for this. This is barely anything. You want him to work if he wants to get you back. And you know you shouldn’t rush into anything serious. With Kayce it will be serious. “I can heat it up. We can dance, talk, watch a movie, sit out here?” he smiles sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders.
“We’re not dancing to this shit.”
“Of course not.”
“And I don’t think dancing is something we should do,” he nods his head yes, agreeing to that. “We can sit out and stare at the stars, and I’m going back to the bunkhouse.”
“I have an extra bed.”
“But I won’t stay in it.”
“Why’s that?” Kayce steps too close to you, invading your bubble, and it’s hard to breathe. Be strong. Do not fall for this. If you want to be with Kayce the wait will be worth it. You want to be able to give you and him the best possible chance. Start from the beginning.
“Because I am weak when it comes to you, and I don’t want to be. So my happy little ass will walk right back to that bunkhouse, and I’m going to sleep there. And tomorrow is a new day, and you’re going to stop flirting so hard.”
“I can try and do that,” his hand brushes away the baby hairs off your forehead, and you fight not to lean into him. Glancing down to his left hand, you count this small moment as a win.
“Thank you,” you whisper to him before spinning around, and walking towards the cabin.
“Why?”
“If I have to tell you it doesn’t have the same gravity,” he smiles serenely before jumping in front of you to open the door. He’s had that ugly ring off twice now. It’s a small thing that should not mean much, and yet it does. You just hope that he keeps it off. Because you can’t handle another heartbreak like that.
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Could you do fic for Toto Wolff with wife reader? The team had a photoshoot based on 2024 Team Photoshoot and there is one woman that kept helping him by fixing his clothes, hair, always touching him. And she saw what happened, but she decided to repaint silent, not wanting to cause a scene. Everyone could see how close she was to snap especially the drivers. Eventually she snapped because she saw how Toto was feeling uncomfortable. You decide how it ended. Tag me later!! hanks!! :))
Ooh a Lil jealousy, as a Wolff wife I must do my Duty. i hope you like the One Shot @pear-1206
Touch Ups- Torger 'Toto' Wolff x Jealous Wife! Reader
As the wife of a very respected and influential motorsport individual, your life has been a whirlwind. Most days out of the year or the entire year to be frank, Toto and you are on opposite sides of the world only communicating via devices and getting only a fortnight together when the season break occurs or whenever time and the job allow.
This year was going to be a rollercoaster of emotions. Lewis was departing the team at the end of the year and moving to Ferrari and George was being prepped to be the new team leader while Toto was hunting for a driver to fill an iconic but now vacant seat with fresh talent. All these aspects were to be considered, but today was a necessary evil for all teams involved in F1, promotional photoshoots. Every year the teams doll up their drivers and in some cases leaders to shoot pictures to hype the fanbase up for another wild ride of racing and with the Silver Arrows having the more eye-catching men of the grid, the communications department was more than willing to pander to the evergrowing female fanbase.
Some fans have dubbed the Mercedes men, the M4 which consisted of their drivers Lewis, George and Mick, led by their fearless Leader, the head of the Pack, Toto. The driver photos were already completed and it was time for the leader to have his chance to shine, Toto had asked you to accompany him for moral support and being the supportive wife, you jumped at the opportunity.
You observe the set which was a stylish Mercedes AMG car with Teal Neon light illuminating the background. Hair and Makeup stylists fluttered around him doing their jobs to make him as camera-ready as possible but you did notice there was one who was a bit too close. You were not a jealous person but you couldn't help but catch a feeling you ignored it for the time being figuring that you were just being paranoid. So the cameras began clicking as Toto got into his model mode, trying to look as cool as possible. Even though this was clearly not his forte, from what you observed he was doing well and the pictures appeared amazing. You then look up to see him put on his shades in a very manly manner and you can't help but blush.
The photographers take a pause so they can change lenses and the makeup staff can do more necessary touch-ups but there was a particular woman who was about the same age as you if not a bit younger who was getting a bit too close to your husband. Yes, these individuals must assist in making him 'LOOK GOOD" but this one's hands were lingering on him a bit longer than usual and touches that were nearing close for comfort.
Toto was a man who wouldn't say his disgust or discomfort out loud (depending on the situation)but more in his body language and it clearly showed that he didn't want this woman near him. Still, he couldn't fault her for doing her occupation although she took advantage of her position. After the touch-up was done, the photos continued and you couldn't help but get even more mad.
After the next change, you decided to confront the woman,
Oh, Mrs Wolff. How can i help you?", she asks almost smugly but she hides her deceit well. 'Oh, nothing. I've just been observing the way you assist Mr.Wolff," you say to her.
"Ah yes, Mr. Wolff has been such a delightful subject," she continues. "I agree, the extra touching really shows that off,'', you bite back.
"I get it, he's a very influential and distinguished individual. I also know how many women gravitate towards him, I saw your interactions with him" You bite slightly as you turn your head to face her.
"Mrs. Wolff, I assure you it's not like that," she says with a bit of fear.
"Touch him like that again, I'll have you escorted out of the venue," the response a bit dark.
She then nodded put her tools down and then approached her colleague and conversed. After which she leaves.
She definitely got the message.
After the shoot, Toto finally approached you and then he responded. "Do you like the photos?", he asked
"I do, but I didn't like the way that woman who was assisting with your makeup was touching you," I respond honestly.
"So what should I do?" he inquires.
GIF credit to Pinterest
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