#the only guy i'm rooting for honestly

[door430]

Loyal

Can you tell I have a lot of thoughts about Agent and his reaction to Mitsi's death and how he probably would've sacrificed himself for her in a heartbeat if he'd had a little more time to act.

And how he probably feels all that more indebted to victim for failing to save their partner, or to stop their spiral into paranoia and fear, or to do something, anything to help them.

And how he's also probably spiraling in his own way, putting up a stoic and unbothered front to avoid confronting the guilt that haunts him, ignoring how much it hurts to never get any comfort or closure, because he can't burden victim with his own issues when they've already got so much else to deal with.

...Also I think he should get to punch Chosen in the face 1 (one) more time. As a treat.

[hvkno]

me commenting "delusional tbh" on milkvan edits after byler becomes canon

[vanteguccir]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤSTURNIOLO'S GO TO THE SUPERMARKET * NATE DOE

SUMMARY　::　Where Y/N, younger sister of the triplets and Nate's girlfriend, participates on the 'Sturniolo Triplets go to Europe' video.

FEATURING　Nate Doe x sturniolo!reader　REQUESTED?　yes.

WARNINGS　::　none.

AUTHOR'S NOTE　::　that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

The car hummed softly as Chris maneuvered through the Burger King drive-thru lane, his hand resting lazily on the wheel. Matt sat in the passenger seat, holding the camera aimed casually toward the rest of the group while Nick sat directly behind Chris, leaning forward slightly to catch glimpses of the menu ahead. Nate was behind Matt with his arm draped comfortably over Y/N, who was nestled between him and Nick.

"You getting your apple pie, babe?" Nate asked, his voice low as he turned his head to Y/N, his thumb absentmindedly brushing over her shoulder.

She glanced up at him, her eyes sparkling with mock offense.

"When do I not get my apple pie?" She quipped, a playful smile tugging at her lips.

"Fair point." He said, chuckling, his pearly teeth making an appearance. Nick, overhearing, snorted.

"She’s literally more predictable than Chris when it comes to Pepsi." Nick teased, earning a playful nudge from Y/N.

"You're just jealous." Y/N shot back with a grin, sticking her tongue out at her older brother.

"Yeah, okay." He replied sarcastically. "Jealous of having a partner who steals half my fries every time we eat."

"Nate, blink twice if you need help." Chris chimed in, earning laughs from Matt.

"She doesn’t steal them." Nate answered Nick, purposefully ignoring Chris. "She claims what’s rightfully hers."

Y/N snorted as Matt turned to face the camera, raising an eyebrow.

"This is what we have to deal with every time we come to Boston, folks."

When they reached the intercom, Nick leaned forward with a gentle smile, his tone dripping with kindness.

"Hi! How are you?"

Y/N looked at the woman from above Nick's shoulder, quickly joining in.

"Oh, you’re the pretty woman who got our orders last time!" Her voice sounded warm and cheerful.

The woman on the other end chuckled.

"Back again, huh? Can you just... just give me one second?"

"Of course, no problem!"

As they waited, Nick turned to the rest of the car, holding up his phone.

"Okay, Matt, you’re getting two plain cheeseburgers. Nate, two plain cheeseburgers with pickles. Chris and Y/N, one plain cheeseburger each. Everybody’s getting fries. Chris wants a Dr. Pepper, Nathan wants root beer, and you’re splitting it with Y/N. Matt, you’re skipping soda. Y/N, you want an apple pie."

Everyone stared at him for a beat before nodding in unison.

"How do you remember that every time?" Nate asked, meeting Chris’s eyes through the rearview, widening his as if asking 'how crazy is he for that?'.

"Because none of you have the courage to make your own orders." Nick retorted smugly, folding his arms.

When the woman returned to the speaker, Y/N jumped in to help Nick relay the orders, letting him list the items while she clarified little details, like, "No ketchup on Matt's burger, please", and, "Yes, we want mayo packets".

Once it was finalized and paid for, they pulled forward, settling into a comfortable buzz of conversation while waiting for the food, the sound of Chris's fingers tapping the steering wheel with a rhythm only he could hear echoing as background noise.

Y/N leaned back against her seat, a realization look crossing her face.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you guys." She started, her voice soft but filled with excitement. "I talked to Breanna this morning. She’s so excited about the wedding. And honestly, the way she talks about Ryan..." She trailed off, shaking her head with a soft smile. "She just sounded so in love. It’s the sweetest thing. You can tell how happy they make each other. It’s amazing."

Nick nodded quickly, letting his phone fall from his hands to his lap, turning to Y/N.

"True! I texted her yesterday, and she told me about how Ryan's been so involved with the wedding planning." He commented. "I can't wait to see the decor-"

"I was the knight in shining armor in your-" Chris cut Nick's trail of though, singing a song that, apparently, was on his mind the whole day, showing how little attention he was paying them.

"Chris." Y/N interrupted sharply, rolling her eyes before looking at Nate with a 'is he being serious right now?' look. "Shut the fuck up. That’s the fourth time today."

Chris spun around in his seat dramatically, almost hitting Matt's hand still holding the camera.

"You shut the fuck up."

Before Y/N could fire back, Nick cut in, groaning loudly.

"Can you both shut your gay mouths, please?"

Chris cackled at Nick’s deadpan delivery.

"Nick, don’t call me that with your gay mouth... unless you want me to kiss you on that gay mouth."

"Great, now I forgot what I was saying." Y/N leaned back, sighing loudly.

Nate laughed at them, exchanging a shake of head with Matt while pulling Y/N closer.

Before long, their food was handed through the window, bags crinkling as Matt took them from Chris and carefully distributed everything while the youngest triplet found a space to park.

"Okay, who’s plain cheeseburger with pickles?" Matt asked, holding up a wrapper.

"That’s me." Nate said, taking both burgers with one hand while the other stayed firmly holding the cup full of Dr. Pepper.

As they began unwrapping their food, Matt reached over to steal a fry from Y/N’s box - which she had out on the car console, earning him a swat on the hand.

"Touch my fries again, and I’ll start charging you rent." She warned, narrowing her eyes.

The conversation turned light and casual as they ate, filled with the usual teasing and laughter, with comments directed to the camera. Between bites of her burger, Y/N turned to the group.

"So, are you guys excited? Milan, first fashion show, Prada? Kind of a big deal."

"Are you kidding?" Matt said, wiping his hands on a napkin. "It’s insane. I’m still trying to figure out why they invited us."

"Because you’re their model now, Matt. And they obviously also love Nick and Chris. Do you realize how many gifts you three received from them just in the last three months?" Y/N replied matter-of-factly.

Chris shrugged.

"She’s not wrong. I mean, we’re kind of a big deal there."

"She's right." Nate nodded, noticing that she had just taken the last bite of her cheeseburger. "Matt will be a real model in no time."

His hands were quick to leave his own second burger on top of his legs and pick Y/N's apple pie from the car console, opening the packaging carefully before taking the crumpled wrapper from her hands and tossing it into the paper bag at his feet, finally handing the sweet pie to her.

A bright smile stretched across her face, directed at him, silently thanking him before taking a bite.

"And I'll be waiting for Sebastian Stan's autograph."

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The bright fluorescent lights of the supermarket reflected off the aluminum cart Matt was pulling, the squeaky wheels occasionally echoing down the empty aisles. The five of them walked together, Chris holding the camera and making sure to record everything.

"All we need to think of is what we’re eating tonight, and then we’re leaving tomorrow." Nick said to the camera, his tone matter-of-fact.

Y/N, holding Nate’s hand tightly, froze mid-step. Her eyes widened as she turned to Nick, her expression a mix of shock and disappointment.

"Wait, no! Is it tomorrow already?" She asked, her voice laced with sadness. Her lips formed a pout as she stared at her older brother, the reality that she just had a few more days with her brothers before they went to Milan and their routine went back to the usual - them in LA, her in Boston - hitting her hard.

Nick turned his head to her, softening at her expression.

"Yeah." He said, almost apologetically. "Tomorrow is Saturday already, so we’ll have breakfast, lunch, and maybe dinner, depending on how late we leave."

Her shoulders slumped slightly, her pout deepening. Nick sighed softly before stepping by her side, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him as they kept walking.

"Come here, sweetheart." He muttered, ruffling her hair gently with his free hand. "Don’t look at me like that. You know we’ll be back soon."

Y/N let herself melt into the hug, though the pout didn’t leave her face.

"I just don’t want to be away from you guys again." She mumbled. "It’s been so nice having you here for so long."

Nate watched them with a soft smile, his hands buried on his hoodie pockets.

"We’ll miss you guys, you know? It’s been fun having all of you back." He added.

"We’ll be back in no time." Chris lowered the camera slightly, his tone unusually sincere. “Let’s not think about that now, though. Let’s enjoy the rest of these days, alright? We still have the whole wedding together."

Y/N nodded reluctantly, her spirits lifting slightly as Nick gave her a squeeze before letting her go. Nate reached for her hand again, threading his fingers through hers and giving her a reassuring squeeze.

They turned into an aisle lined with shelves of sweet treats, and Nick perked up instantly, scanning the options.

"I think we should get powdered donuts or something." He suggested, pointing to a shelf. "You guys like those, right? And then we should get milk and cereal." He looked at Chris and Matt expectantly, but neither answered, both seemingly distracted by something on the shelf opposite them. "Yeah?"

Noticing the silence, Nate chimed in, chuckling.

"Yeah, Nick, I agree. Powdered donuts sound good."

Chris snorted at Nate’s answer, glancing up from the camera.

"Yeah, sounds good." He said, finally catching on. Matt nodded in agreement, still looking at the random colorful items on the right shelf.

Y/N looked around them, quickly spotting the sweet treat. She wandered a few steps ahead, grabbing a pack for her brothers. As she walked back toward the group, she glanced at Nate.

"Babe, do we still have powdered donuts at home?" She asked him.

Nate frowned, seeming to think for a second before shaking his head slightly.

"Nah, it’s almost gone. I think there’s like one left."

Y/N frowned thoughtfully, then turned back to the shelf to grab an extra pack, tossing it into the cart.

"Alright, one for you guys, one for us."

Nick watched her as she added the donuts to the cart, then turned back to the camera.

"Okay, so tonight, we’re going to make pasta with sauce-"

"I want Mac N Cheese." Chris interrupted from behind the camera, speaking over him.

At the exact same time, Y/N also talked, turning to them from a shelf full of cookies that she adored.

"If you’re having pasta, I’m having dinner with you again."

Nick stopped mid-sentence, looking between them with exaggerated annoyance.

"Alright, listen." He said, holding up a hand to stop any further interruptions. "We can get mac n cheese to eat tomorrow..." He compromised. "And you both can stay with us tonight." He added, looking at Nate and Y/N. "Deal?"

Y/N beamed, her earlier sadness momentarily forgotten.

"Deal." She said, happily observing Matt grabbing a box of Mac N Cheese from the nearby shelf and placing it in the cart.

Chris turned the camera toward her with a grin.

"The way she’s acting like this is some grand negotiation is crazy."

"Because it is!" Y/N replied, laughing as she moved to stand beside Nate again.

"Y/N’s just excited to spend more time with us." Nathan slid an arm around her waist, pressing a light kiss to her temple.

"She loves us too much." Matt teased, earning an eye roll from his sister.

"Can’t argue with that." Y/N shot back with a grin.

Nick resumed his walk, pulling the cart and making his way to the front of the group as they approached the refrigerated section. Without a word, he reached for the milk, sliding two cartons into the cart Matt was pushing.

"Milk’s in." He announced to no one in particular, already walking again, pulling the cart with him this time.

The others followed behind, their laughter and chatter echoing softly.

As they passed the hygiene products aisle, Matt - who was looking around while talking to Y/N and Chris - slowed his pace, his mischievous grin already forming as he placed his hands heavily on Nate’s shoulders.

"Hey, shouldn’t you grab some condoms, Nate?" His voice carried just enough volume to catch the attention of the rest of the group, quickly bursting into exaggerated laughter, reacting as if he was the funniest person in the world.

Nate froze mid-step, his face going red as a chuckle immediately erupted from his throat.

"Bro, what?" He choked out, his tone both incredulous and amused.

Y/N, walking beside Chris, immediately rolled her eyes, clearly used to Matt’s way. But instead of letting the comment slide, she crossed her arms and tilted her head with a sly smirk.

"Nah, we don’t need them anymore." She quipped, her tone light as if she was talking about the weather, keeping walking.

The air froze for a split second. Matt’s jaw dropped, Chris nearly dropped the camera, and Nick snapped his head around so fast it was a miracle he didn’t break his neck.

"Wait, what?" Nick blurted, his voice high-pitched and absolutely panicked as his wide eyes locked on Y/N.

Nate froze, blinking in confusion before looking at Y/N with a gaze that screamed 'you didn’t just say that', noticing the playful glint in her eye and the way she was trying not to laugh.

Matt, however, didn’t.

"Excuse me?" He shouted, his voice filled with a mixture of horror and disbelief. "You’re kidding, right? You’re kidding!" He gestured wildly between the couple, his eyes going from them to the camera in Chris's hands and back, clearly unsure if he wanted them to keep filming or put the camera down and probably faint.

Y/N, unable to keep a straight face anymore, burst out laughing, doubling over as she clung to Nate’s arm for support.

"Oh my God, you should see your faces!" She wheezed, her shoulders shaking as tears of laughter formed in her eyes. "I'm not pregnant. We're safe. It was a joke, Matt! A joke!"

Nick groaned, dragging a hand down his face in exasperation.

"You are the worst." He muttered, though his lips twitched like he was fighting back a smile, shaking his head while returning his walk.

Chris exhaled a long, dramatic breath, trying to steady the camera above his trembling fingers.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked, his voice still tinged with lingering panic. "I almost had a heart attack, you know?"

Nate chuckled, nodding his head as he looked down at Y/N, who was still laughing.

"You’re trouble." He teased, his tone soft and affectionate, kissing her temple softly before nuzzling her hair, exhaling the fresh scent of shampoo from their shower earlier. "Pure trouble."

Matt finally straightened up, pinching his nose bridge with his fingers.

"You're not my favorite sibling anymore after that." He affirmed, shaking his head.

Still giggling, Y/N waved her hand dismissively.

"You’ll get over it." She said, sealing her lips with Nate's for only a second before walking toward Nick, leaving the others behind.

"Anyone want juice?" Nick asked over his shoulder, his attention already shifting to the brightly colored juice aisle.

"Lemonade!" Matt called out immediately, forgetting about what had happened not even 5 minutes before, spinning on his heel and heading down the aisle without waiting for anyone to answer.

He grabbed a single plastic bottle of juice, walking just some steps closer to the group before placing the lemonade bottle in front of his covered crotch.

"Come drink it, Nate." He said, wiggling his eyebrows and holding the juice suggestively.

Nate let out a bark of laughter, shaking his head as he looked at Matt and then at Chris, who was with a disbelief look on his eyes.

"You’re sick." He said, his tone dripping with mock disgust, waving his hand at the triplet.

Y/N, who had just turned back to pick some apple juice for her, froze for a second, her eyes wide.

"Oh my fuck, Matt." She muttered, running a hand through her face before glancing at the camera. "Well, my boyfriend’s boyfriend, everyone." She said dryly, throwing a pointed look at Nate, who was still laughing.

Nick, who was now at the cart putting some strawberry yogurt in, looked up sharply at Matt's figure approaching with the juice still in front of his dick, his face stern.

"Matt, put it down." He said, his tone that of an annoyed parent dealing with a disobedient child.

Matt laughed harder, but he did as Nick said, setting the lemonade by the yogurt's side with an exaggerated sigh.

"You guys ruin all my fun." He muttered, though the smile never left his face.

Their next stop was the cereal aisle, where Chris immediately zeroed in on a brightly colored box of cereal.

"Fruit Loops Rainbow Sherbet Scoops." He read aloud, holding up the box so everyone could see. His tone was a mix of awe and disbelief while reading the small descriptions.

Nick wrinkled his nose, looking at it over Chris's shoulder for a second without stopping walking.

"That looks horrible-" He began, but Y/N cut him off, her face lighting up as she stepped forward.

"No, shut up, it looks cute! I want it." She said, her excitement clear as she moved to Chris’s side to get a closer look at the box. She tilted her head as she read the description over his shoulder. "Wait, it cools your mouth? That sounds so cool."

Chris grinned, passing her the box.

"Alright, it’s yours, kid." He said, handing it over like it was a prized trophy.

Nick sighed, though there was a hint of fondness in his expression, his eyes meeting Nate’s, who just shrugged as if to say 'there's nothing you can do besides accepting it, bro, I've tried'.

"Fine, put it in the cart." He said, waving a hand dismissively. "But don’t complain to me if it tastes like toothpaste."

"It won’t." She said, grinning.

After that, he group made their way to the pasta aisle. The shelves were stacked high with every type of pasta imaginable, from spaghetti to bowties, and Nick was quick to reach for a box of rigatoni and a jar of vodka sauce, stopping in front of the cart and holding them up for everyone to see.

"Okay, rigatoni and vodka sauce." He said, looking around the group. "Do you guys want to get a different pasta shape, or is this good-"

Before he could finish, Matt’s voice rang out from behind the camera in an exaggerated baby tone.

"I want ice cream sauce..." His voice was so ridiculous that it was impossible not to laugh, and he immediately broke into a fit of giggles at his own joke.

Nick’s expression didn’t falter, his face a mask of pure boredom as he glanced directly at Matt.

"You’re so funny, Matt." He deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

"I’m kidding." Matt said between chuckles, zooming the camera in on Nick’s annoyed face before panning back to the group.

Nick turned back to Y/N and Nate, ignoring Matt entirely.

"So, are you guys okay with this for dinner?" He asked, holding up the rigatoni and sauce again.

Y/N, standing close to Nate, was quick to respond.

"Nick, you know I love vodka sauce." She said, shrugging as she placed a hand on her hip. "You could’ve picked any pasta, and I’d still be happy."

Nate nodded in agreement, his hand resting lightly on Y/N’s lower back.

"Yeah, I fuck with it." He said with a grin, his casual tone earning a laugh from Chris behind the camera.

"Perfect." Nick said, tossing the items back into the cart. "Dinner settled. Let’s find a cashier and get out of here."

The group began walking toward the front of the store, their chatter light and easy as they weaved through the same aisles. They were almost at the registers when Matt, who had been walking beside Nick, suddenly froze mid-step.

"No way!" His tone was incredulous and loud. The abruptness of his reaction startled Nick, who jumped slightly, his hand tightening on the cart.

"What the hell, Matt?" Nick snapped, his tone exasperated as he turned to his brother.

But Matt wasn’t paying attention. His eyes were wide with excitement, and he bolted toward a nearby fridge like a kid in a candy store.

"Y/N, oh my God!" He shouted over his shoulder, his voice filled with pure glee. "Look at this!"

Y/N, initially confused by his sudden outburst, followed his gaze. When her eyes landed on what Matt was pointing at, her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"No way!" She gasped, her excitement matching Matt’s as she grabbed Nate’s arm. "Babe, it’s apple cider!" She exclaimed, giving him a light shove before sprinting toward Matt.

"I can see that, angel." Nate's soft voice echoed from behind her, a laugh escaping his lips.

Matt was already standing by the fridge, practically bouncing on his heels as he pointed to the neatly lined rows of apple cider bottles.

"I thought it wasn’t the time of year anymore!" He said, his voice still filled with amazement as he grabbed one of the bottles and held it up for Y/N to see.

Y/N joined him, her eyes wide with joy as she stared at the cider.

"This is amazing!" She declared dramatically, picking up a bottle of her own and cradling it like it was a prized possession.

"Kids are losing it over apple cider." Chris said through his laughter, zooming in on Y/N and Matt, who looked like they’d just won the lottery.

Nick, who had finally caught up with the group, shook his head in disbelief.

"You two are ridiculous." He muttered, though there was a fondness in his voice as he watched his siblings freak out over something as simple as apple cider. "Are you actually going to drink that?"

"Absolutely." Y/N said without hesitation, handing the bottle to Nate, who rolled his eyes lovingly, taking it from her before putting it in the cart.

"We can come back after LA to get more, yeah?" He said softly, his voice low enough that only she could hear as his hand found her hair, brushing a strand out of her eyes.

Y/N opened the biggest smile, her eyes meeting his full of love.

"That would be awesome!" She exclaimed, making him laugh, nodding softly.

"Alright, let’s pay and go before these two decide to move into the store." Nick said, steering the cart toward the registers.

As they made their way to the checkout, Matt turned to Y/N.

"I call first sip when we open it."

"Not a chance." Y/N shot back, crossing her arms while frowning deeply.

"Over an apple cider." Chris said sarcastically, shaking his head as he filmed them bickering all the way to the registers.

© vanteguccir

[esotericbluntbaby]

indelible

hamzahthefantastic x reader

description: it's been a full year since you and hamzah broke up, causing you to go silent towards your whole friend group. after rekindling at a grocery store, mandy invites you to a party she's hosting. you go, noticing a familiar set of eyes staring at you throughout the night.

mentions: reader heavily loves pickles, angst and yearning (obvi), she/her pronouns, slight argument, ex!hamzah (who will be back for a lottttt of different fics), sfw!

blood orange is so freaking good i was listening to blood orange and got the idea for this fic <3

--

"martin, is that..?"

you turned around in the aisles messily stacked with assorted jars of pickles and olives, revealing a guy and a girl of your past: the faces behind the whisper. you gazed at the couple in front of you with a certain whimsical, yet surprised stare. martin and mandy were the two people who, at one point, helped toronto feel like home after moving there from the states. meeting mandy at a frozen yogurt stand after she complimented your outfit with welcoming radiance, you soon met martin and became apart of their small, yet comfortable and familiar group.

it was only until you met hamzah that they remained the people who created warmth for you to take in. you and hamzah had a specific energy, tying your souls together as if they were forever meant to be intertwined. chemistry erupted from the first interaction between the two of you; a nostalgic, childlike sense of happiness emerged between you guys similar to high school football games and puppy love. with hamzah, you were never scared. in fact, risk and excitement amplified itself within you every time you took your friendship with him a step further.

it wasn't surprising when hamzah decided he'd kiss you in front of martin, mandy, claire, and chase while at martin and mandy's abode. it also wasn't surprising when you two popped out as a couple a day or two later. the relationship your friends observed was one they rooted for; you knew in that moment that none of your friends would pity you at your wedding, which was new to you after trials and errors of different relationships with different guys.

it was definitely not a fairytale of your childhood dreams with him, actually, the complete opposite. you enjoyed the fact that your days weren't always fast-paced and full of moments that felt like it should be posted on some social media to get a thousand likes. sometimes, your days were slow. your days were filled with laundry baskets piled to the top and a race to see who gets to sort clothes faster. your days were filled with morning breath and uncomfortable, yet cozy positions in bed with hamzah. your days had occasional arguments, yet, they were always solved within a day or two. this was the man you wanted to marry.

however, you've always had the mindset of fairy tales always containing an ending to them, happy or not. you saw him less and less as the relationship went on, as his channel with martin was slowly but surely taking off the mainstream media. he began to hermit inside of his office, sometimes even sleeping there for days, almost as if the job was a ball and chain tied to his leg. yet, he also didn't want it off of him no matter how many times he's found the key. he would spend days without seeing you, seemingly by choice, leaving you worried and lonely. it was after a full two years and three months that you decided to end things with him for the sake of your own mental health, sanity, and wellness.

it was hard at first; honestly, you wanted to curl into a ball and hide away from everyone. martin and mandy were supportive, as they noticed all the times hamzah ditched you to edit or to film or to email. yet, each time you saw their faces, all you could see was him. so, slowly, "yeah, you can come over later," turned into "i'll see if i have plans," which eventually and gradually turned into, "sorry, i'm busy." you felt guilty, but you needed to erase him from your mind, like white paint to a canvas, in order to fully heal. it was never going to be a permanent thing, yet it's also been a full year since you last spoke to them. this was probably one of the most awkward things you could've ever encountered and on this fateful thursday night, you did.

"oh, hi," you softly greeted, rubbing the back of your neck with your free hand that wasn't holding the grocery basket.

mandy's gaze was as surprised as yours was, "wow, it's been ages."

"yeah, y'know... i've just been busy..."

"are you doing anything tonight?"

the guilt of being gone for so long finally decided to show up, chasing after your stream of consciousness like a dog chasing a bone.

"no, no i'm not."

--

without fully realizing until you were sitting in their dining room chair, you were now at martin and mandy's amicable apartment. a cup of tea accompanied your hands; for warmth or for comfort, you weren't really sure. it's been small talk for the past twenty minutes since you've arrived. guilt, as it always does, was still biting at your chest cavity like a parasite. so, to ease it away from you, you decided to speak about the elephant in the room.

"look, martin, mandy, i'm really sorry i haven't spoken to you guys in ages and just stopped responding. honestly, i guess i kinda saw hamzah every single time i saw you two. it hurt too much and i couldn't take it anymore."

mandy held your hand in her palm, "no, i get it-"

"are we pushing you too far by, like, bringing you to our apartment right after seeing us again without it being planned?" martin asked, genuine worry laced in his vocal infliction.

"no, no, definitely not. i've healed, already," you sipped your tea, "i was planning on contacting you guys soon. i guess soon ended up being, y'know, today."

"how have you been? or, like, have you healed from you and hamzah" mandy asked hesitantly; almost as if the mere mention of his name would've broken you like fine china being dropped.

"i've, uh, i've been alright- i guess, sometimes, i still think about him. it's inevitable. the mere thought of him chases after me to this day. it's weird, like, as soon as i got rid of his stuff, i felt okay; i felt fine and i didn't cry, but then there are days where i stumble upon an ad for fantastic mr. fox and i end up crying for weeks straight. i'm not really sure, y'know, when it'll end. hopefully, soon."

mandy's grip on your hand tightened as martin listened to each word you said, processing every emotion and memory held onto your words.

"would you ever get back together with him?" martin asked, as mandy lightly slapped his shoulder, "sorry, was that too blunt? or, like- fuck- sorry you don't have to answer tha-"

"maybe."

mandy's eyebrows raised inquisitively, "really?"

you placed your cup of tea down and started fidgeting with your hands, "i mean, i've always believed in that whole fate thing. destiny can't be changed and that type of shit. i don't hate him. i guess i- what's the word- resent.. him..? i couldn't hate him if i tried. i guess what i'm saying is if the universe decided to bring us back together, i'd probably be scared, but i also wouldn't oppose it completely. i don't know; we were young and i didn't know how to communicate and he didn't know how to balance. it's obvious that it wouldn't work out, then. i don't know about now."

"you seem to have thought about this a lot, to the point where you can talk about it in that way," mandy mentioned.

"so, you would give him another shot?" martin added.

you thought for a moment, "it depends on how that shot happens."

looking at the clock, you realized that it was now almost 10 pm. though you didn't have work or plans tomorrow, you didn't want to overstay your visit and leech onto them and their house. after all, the three of you just reconnected after a full year of absence and silence.

"i didn't even realize it was 10; i should probably get going, now," you got up and scooted in your chair.

mandy reached out to give you a hug, to which you returned, "wait, me and martin are having a get-together tomorrow. it's not a rager, but it's also not, like, lame, i guess. come. chase and claire are visiting and they've been asking about you lately too. everyone misses you."

the whole day was filled of taking chances and playing with the fate you previously thought you were aware of. what's one more game of odds?

"sure. i'll be there."

--

the house was dark, yet also thoughtfully lit with ambient lighting. shades of oranges and blues lit everyone's skin with a contrasting hue, reminiscent of a sunset on the ocean. there wasn't too many people there; if anything, you knew a good majority of them. yet, the thought of why you knew them, or the thought of hamzah's many introductions to get you used to his crowd, made your heart hurt a little. you arrived late, letting yourself in since mandy, nor martin weren't answering their phones. greeting a couple of familiar faces on your way in, you finally found your way to martin and mandy, speaking to chase and claire.

things felt normal for the first time in a long time. you were not alone, in fact, you were with the people who created what "home" was, in the first place. for being in a room with so many people who helped create the best atmosphere for you to thrive in, you still felt lonely. you didn't know it was possible to feel this conflicted; how could you feel lonely when you know you aren't alone?

suddenly, hamzah walked through the kitchen doors to the dining table you were sat at. a red crewneck and baggy, black jeans adorned his body, as well as the black sambas that were years and years old. the beanie that adorned his head, revealing tiny, black curls peeking out of it, complimented the silver chain on his necklace; you recognized it. it was yours.

"i could not find the cups, mandy, where are the cu-"

his eyes locked onto yours as if your pupils were magnets destined to be pulled together. you, then, saw what you witnessed when you first fell in love with him: nostalgia. childlike wonder. puppy love. the table went silent, watching this encounter unfold. everyone's eyes were widened in shock. in that moment, you couldn't hear the music, nor the people around you speaking, nor the drinks being poured or dog barking outside. the only thing you were focused on was the boy in front of you. frozen in space, you hoped you wouldn't have to be the first to speak. yet, you also never were the first one to speak.

"can we talk?"

you nodded, not knowing where this conversation was going to be headed.

--

you were both outside on martin and mandy's rooftop. you mentioned to him that you find it easier to talk when gazing at the stars and being in his presence, though, you were also dating at the time. you wondered if he remembered or if this was a coincidence. currently, you were sat in silence, waiting for him to break it.

"that wasn't the first time i saw you, tonight."

your gaze turned from the stars of the sky to the ones reflected in his irises, "what?"

"this whole night, i've been staring at the door. i wasn't really sure who i was waiting for, but i just felt the need to. now that you're here, i know now. i saw you when you entered and had a mini-panic attack in the kitchen. i don't even know what to say to you now that we're out here."

it became silent again, as you didn't respond.

he continued, "i miss you. i don't think there's a single day that went by where i don't fuck myself up for losing you. fuck, baby, i miss everything about you."

"you do?"

"there's so many texts i wrote you, but i just never sent them. i almost send, like, three of them a week."

"what do they have in them?"

"y'know, updates, my life, asking how you are, apologizing for being a total fucking ass."

"you were a total fucking ass," you teased, laughing ever-so-slightly, "it's okay. it's obvious you've changed and most likely grew."

he laughed as well before his face morphed into something more serious, "if you let me, i'll spend the rest of my life making everything i did up to you."

"and remind me what you did?"

"i didn't treat you the way that i was supposed to- the way you deserve. i'm sorry, i promise i'll fix things," he grabbed your cheek gently and nudged your head towards him, "please, baby, let me fix things. i'll beg, if i have to."

you sighed, "hamzah, i'm scared."

hamzah took out his phone and put in his password.

"my birthday? you haven't changed your password from my birthday in a full year?"

"yeah, uh, i just didn't want to."

he clicked on his notes app and gave you the phone, then turned to the sky and gazed at the different twinkling lights up above.

"what is this?" you asked.

"i write you letters whenever i think about you so much to the point where it gets overwhelming.

you read the first note titled "1/19," which was a couple of days ago.

1/19

hey, baby. how are you? i miss you a lot. i went to the store today and i got the pickles you like. i don't even like pickles. or, i guess, now i do. ever since we ended things, i go to the store just to get a jar of the pickles you liked. i think every time i eat them it makes me think about that one time you forced me to try one and i literally almost threw up because of how disgusting they are. i think i just eat them because idk they make me think of you. i hope you're doing alright. i hope your studies are going good. you're graduating in, what, like a year? that's crazy. i hope i'll be able to be there with you. i'm sorry, for everything, again. i say this in every paragraph. i fucked up. i know that, but please, please let me fix it. i'll be a good boyfriend, i'll even be a good husband one day. i promise. i'll talk to you again soon.

by the end of the paragraph, you teared up. looking beside you at him, a worrisome look entered his face as he gazed ahead of him; a second chance is the most desirable thing to him. he doesn't care about money, or fame, or sex. he's been yearning for you.

you copied his move; your hand made its way to hamzah's cheek, nudging it slowly but surely towards you. the twinkle in his eyes held hope, as did yours as it mirrored him. you sat there, simply looking into each other's eyes and possibly each other's soul; there was no rush, there was only love. your lips made its way onto his, softly, for a mere second. you pulled away as his lips chased after yours, kissing once again with a certain firmness and desperation laced into it.

"i'm sorry again, baby," he admits as he pulls away, "please, please let me back into your life. i don't care how hard or how long i have to work for it; let me earn you back. i can't live without you."

you smiled one of the most genuine smiles you've had in ages, "i trust you, hamzah."

"is that a yes?"

"i dunno. what do you think, idiot?"

--

author's note

goodnight guys! <3

[arcadia-of-pluto]

LADS! Idol Group AU — The Boys

(art by @/AngyFdez on X and the idea was partially inspired by this post)

Hey guys! So this idea suddenly came to me because I realized I've been using "OT4/5" for the male leads in my works, and I noticed that no one else does that. I, then, realized why because they're not a k-pop group (I'm not sure if OT– is a k-pop only thing, but I've always seen it when I read bts fics). So, I thought "why don't I make them an idol group and continue using OT5 on all of my fics!" It's honestly so much easier than writing out ____ X _____ X reader.

First and foremost, a bit of backstory before I get into their character sheets!

Their company is called UNICORNS INC and Miss Grey is their manager. Sylus joined first, then Zayne, Rafayel came next followed by Xavier, and lastly Caleb was added! Zayne was 22, Sylus was 23, Caleb was 20, Rafayel was 19, and Xavier was 18. The next drabbles, besides the prelude, will be based five years after they've been a group and grew in popularity.

Each of their Y/n's will have a different name along with the Poly Y/n (who is their manager).

Zayne's Y/n — Petal

Sylus's Y/n — Kitten

Caleb's Y/n — Pipsqueak

Rafayel's Y/n — Cutie

Xavier's Y/n — Starlight

Manager Y/n — Grey

(In their respective drabbles, I will use Y/n, however these placeholder names will be used outside of that or the non-love interests will use she/her.)

Now, onto the boys;

⛄️❄️🐻‍❄❄️🐻‍❄❄️🐻‍❄❄️🐻‍❄❄️🐻‍❄❄️🐻‍❄❄️⛄️

Zayne Li

Stage name — Zayne // He has no need for special names or anything. He'll just stick with his own.

Fan-given nicknames — Z, Zaynie, Snowy,

Age — 27

Hair / Eye colour —He has hazel eyes and black hair. He will sometimes wear clear contacts during performances, so his prescription glasses don't get broken or lost. 

Evol — Ice

Position in the Group — He is the Leader, Sub-Rapper, Sub-Vocalist, and he produces and writes a majority of their songs. He can't dance and doesn't bother trying. (He will attempt the simplest of dances on stage for the fans, but he does best with a partner.) 

Sub-units — Snow Crow ⛄️🐦‍⬛(aka the Two-left-feet unit); This duo, while the eldest of the group, is somehow the most clumsy. Separately, it's not that bad. But when they're together, it's absolute chaos. They have to be choreographed far from each other or else they'll trip over each other's feet. 

Emojis — 🐻‍❄⛄️❄️

Before Joining — Zayne graduated highschool at 16 and was the valedictorian. Before joining LADS, he was 22 and had been in medical school for 5 years, so he had a year left until he graduated. He thought being a doctor would be something he would enjoy, but all these years of school while watching his retired parents travel the world…It really tore him down. He realized he didn't want to be stuck inside a hospital for the rest of his life, working day in and day out. Yes, the thought of saving someone with his own hands did appeal to him, but it just didn't feel right anymore. The moment he was scouted, he jumped at the chance and dropped out without a second thought. He already had debt accumulated, so what harm would it do to add more to it? 

Fun facts — He has a pet flying squirrel named Clopidogrel. If he overuses his Evol, it hurts himself, but he tries to hide this from fans and his bandmates.

Personality — He is usually calm, cool, and collected. He always cares about others more than himself, and puts others first. He keeps a close eye on his bandmates and makes sure no one is over exhausting themselves. He only ever loses his cool whenever Caleb or Rafayel willingly throw a challenge (on a show they're on) when they're on his team – just so Zayne is forced to take a punishment as well. 

🖤❤️🐦‍⬛❤️🖤🐦‍⬛🖤❤️🐦‍⬛❤️🖤🐦‍⬛🖤❤️🐦‍⬛

Sylus Qin

Stage name — Sy // He would prefer Sylus, but it's honestly the fans’ choice

Fan-given nicknames — Sylie, Sy, 

Age — 28

Hair / Eye colour — His hair is dyed white and he occasionally has his natural black roots showing whenever he forgets to touch them up. He has cognac brown eyes (brown eyes that are warm in colour with varying shades of orange and red mixed in – or simply amber eyes), he'll sometimes wear red contacts on stage.

Evol — Energy manipulation 

Position in the Group —He is the Lead Rapper, Sub Vocalist, and The Center, He can't dance but will try regardless of if he gets laughed at or not.

Sub-units — Snow Crow ⛄️🐦‍⬛(aka the Two-left-feet unit)

Emojis — 🐦‍⬛❤️🖤

Before Joining — When Sylus was younger, he was rather sickly. He was born with a heart condition and so, to have a successor to his company if something were to happen to Sylus, his father adopted Luke and Kieran. Shortly after the twins were adopted, Sylus had open heart surgery and miraculously recovered. However, he didn't want to succeed his father, he'd rather the twins do so. In fact, Sylus has always wanted to be on stage – to see the world. After recovering from his injuries, he discovered an underground club, called The N109 Zone, and eventually became the leader of a rap group, Onychinus. With this experience under his belt, Sylus went to an agency and at 23, he pitched the idea of a band that used their Evols while performing. He originally wanted this group to be solely a rap group, but…plans changed. 

Fun facts — He has a pet crow named Mephisto. He has to wear prescription contacts on stage, but otherwise, he rarely has any lenses on. He can still see fairly well, but he does wear his glasses whenever he reads. He has a scar on his chest. 

Personality — He's another calm member. He tends to sleep more during the day and stay up late, so he's always a bit more quiet and sluggish on the days they have to record early. However, he also has a somewhat sassy and teasing side that always comes out whenever the younger members of the group try to pick on him. He's always down to do anything for the bit (for the joke), even if he ends up getting laughed at. He's an animal lover at heart and if he had his way, the LADS dorm would be filled with stray animals, so instead he makes constant donations to shelters.

🍎🐶🍏🐶🍎🐶🍏🐶🍎🐶🍏🐶🍎🐶

Caleb Xia

Stage name — Tango // He wants to choose a name that's more sentimental to him, something he was called in the past.

Fan-given nicknames — Cal, puppy 

Age — 25

Hair / Eye colour — He has dark brown hair and has central heterochromia. His iris is lined with a darker blue ring, mostly a lighter shade of blue, with a thin yellow-green ring around his pupil. 

Evol — Gravity manipulation

Position in the Group — He is the Lead Vocalist, Main Dancer, and Sub-Rapper.

Sub-units — Apple Fish 🍎🐠(also known as the Party Unit); Rafayel and Caleb are the hyperactive duo of the group. They're always seen playing around, pranking the other members, but when they're together on stage…They both captivate and amuse their fans. 

Emojis — 🐶🍎🍏

Before Joining — He was a pilot at 20. He loved to take to the skies and feel so free in his plane. Since he reminded most of his co-workers of a dog, they would usually call him Tango – jokingly calling him to and fro like a dog, to which he'd happily go along with it. There was unfortunately an issue nine months prior to him being scouted. He had been flying for two years now, had more than enough experience, but he had his first critical malfunction. Doing some routine maintenance on one of the ships, something must've gone wrong and triggered an explosion. By the time Caleb woke up, he was already in the hospital and his right arm was gone. He got a hefty sum of worker's comp and more money on top of that to get himself a nice new arm. And while he was in his final stage of recovery, that’s when he was scouted. His childhood friend pulled a few strings, called in a few favours, and just asked the agency to try and scout Caleb out. That it would definitely be worth it in the end. And that’s how Caleb joined as the final member of LADS. 

Fun facts — He lost his right arm in an accidental explosion that happened at his previous job. He wears contacts on stage that are purple. Only his right eye's contact is prescription since the blast that blew off his arm, slightly affected his eyesight. He had a malinois named Twix when he was younger (and he hopes to get another dog soon). 

Personality — He's always been an easy-going, lovable person. He gives off “boy-next-door” vibes. He's hyperactive and teasing, and he's almost always seen smiling. Though, he does have his bad days…reminiscing on when he still had his right arm, annoyed by the phantom pains he feels. But, for the most part, he's a mischievous duo with Rafayel and especially so on stage. Never missing a chance to play with the confetti cannons or throw water into the crowd.

🌊🐱🐠🌊🐠🐱🌊🐱🐠🌊🐠🐱🌊🐱

Rafayel Qi

Stage name — Fay // Since he's one for dramatics, he wanted multiple stage names, but the company said no. So unfortunately, he can only have one. He really wanted to use Mango, thinking it would be comical to rhyme with Caleb's, but Mangos don't fit him…Then he thought of Durango, but again…it just didn't feel like him. Eventually he decides to just use his name, but only a part of his name. He settles on Fay, another variation of the word fae. As a Lemurian, any way to slot his culture (or anything similar to his culture, seeing as mermaids and fae are in the same realm) into his work is a win in his eyes. 

Fan-given nicknames — Raf, Raffie, Fishie

Age — 24

Hair / Eye colour — Rafayel has dyed purple hair (that oftentimes has his light brown roots peeking out) and he has sectoral heterochromia. His eyes are half blue, half green. 

Evol — Fire

Position in the Group —He is the Main Vocalist, and The Visual, The face of the group, He can't dance because of a previous leg injury, but still tries his best.

Sub-units — Apple Fish 🍎🐠 (also known as the Party Unit)

Before Joining — Rafayel was an avid painter, a well-known artist within the community. He went by the name, Tidus, and would often show up to his own exhibits in disguise to hear what people really thought of him. He was scouted by his agent Thomas and his main reason for joining was Zayne. He was curious as to why a budding doctor would leave five years of college behind to join an idol group and honestly – he also loved the attention. Sylus might've felt a little bit of panic whenever he saw pretty boy Rafayel waltz through the doors. Especially since he was a good singer. (Sylus was spiraling, at this point. “We're turning into an idol group, Zayne — why do they keep recruiting singers?”) 

Emojis — 🐱🐠🌊

Fun facts — He has a pet super red half-moon betta fish named Reddie. He wears contacts on stage that are pinkish blue, they aren't prescription – he just loves the attention he gets while wearing them. His aunt, Thalia, is an extremely popular soloist. He originally wanted his official emoji to be a fish, however once the fans learnt of his aversion to cats...His emoji was already decided by the majority. 🐱

Personality — He's always been eccentric. He's energetic but laid back, domineering yet pouty. His emotions are constantly all over the place, but that's just something you'll have to get used to since this is just how Rafayel is. He'll stop mid-practice to paint, if he is hit with a burst of inspiration. He'll run around, demanding piggyback rides from everyone. He won't hesitate to take a photo or sign an autograph while out and about. He's always buying or wearing luxury brands and doing modeling deals. 

🐥☁️🌟🌔🌓🌒🌑🌘🌗🌖🌕🌟☁️🐥

Xavier Shen

Stage name — XV (fifteen) // He honestly doesn't care for stage names. He wouldn't have chosen one if the agency didn't pester him until he finally did. XV means nothing to him, it just sounded better than any of the cheesy names the company tried to come up with. (Which was “starboy”)

Fan-given nicknames — Xav, Xavi, Starlight

Age — 23

Hair / Eye colour — Xavier has blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes. 

Evol — Light

Position in the Group —He is the Sub Vocalist, Main Rapper, Lead Dancer, and The Maknae/Youngest.

Sub-units — Star Fish Apple 🌟🐠🍎 (aka the troublesome trio); While Xavier is usually laid back and sleepy, whenever he gets around Caleb and Rafayel - and is in the mood for mischief - these three are an unstoppable trio who will stop at nothing to annoy their, usually calm and collected, eldest band mates. 

Emojis — 🐥🌟👾 (I know 🐰 is the obvious emoji for Xavier, but hear me out —)

Before Joining — He was the valedictorian of his class so many had high expectations of him. This would be a good thing since he passed all of his classes with flying colours and was on the track of being the val in college as well – but, his biggest problem was that classes were so boring. They were too easy for him, so he'd usually finish his work and nap until class was over. Or even nap during testing. It got so bad that he was eventually expelled and decided to just do part time jobs for money so he could rest more at home. He was scouted in a surprising way. The talent agents were off duty, just hanging out together, and they suddenly stopped at a café in confusion. The employee behind the counter had a long line, but it showed no signs of moving. They could hear the complaints from all the way outside, so whenever they entered the café, they had to do a double take. The negligent employee that was napping on the job looked ethereal. With the sun shining on his face, the talent agents bypassed the crowd, woke Xavier up, and gave him a business card so that he could call them later. Weeks passed with no answer, the agents go back to the café, learn Xavier was fired, and eventually find him selling flowers on the sidewalk for a nearby florist who was taking advantage of Xavier's good looks. That's when he finally gets scouted. Sylus is, again, distraught. Thinking “oh no…we were supposed to be a rap group”, but as fate would have it, Xavier was an excellent rapper. 

Fun facts — He originally wanted a pet cat but, since Rafayel is afraid of cats, he settled on a turtle named Fluffball. He doesn't need contacts, his eyes are perfect and he loves to rub this fact in. The fact that every other member needs contacts besides him — until Rafayel smacks him on the back of the head, reminding Xavier that his contacts are also non-prescription.

Personality — While you'd expect the youngest member to be expression and bouncy, Xavier is quite the opposite. Though he has his spikes of high energy, he's usually very calm and sleepy. He naps while getting his hair and makeup done, during concert breaks, and he'll even sometimes fall asleep mid-interview. However, he doesn't have any medical condition, he's just sleepy all the time and there's nothing he can do about it. But when he's hyper, there's no stopping him. Whether he's hopping around like a bunny, peeking over his bandmates shoulders during interviews, putting his hand in anyone's pockets – he's just LADS’ clingy, sleepy, youngest member. But also, whenever he's happy, he literally glows (and the fans adore this).

That's all I've got so far!

I'm still coming up with more as I go along so let me know if y'all have any more nicknames ideas and the like! Oh, and the name of their fans! I was contemplating on using "Lovers", but I'm still not 100% certain on what to name their fanbase.

I have Caleb and Rafayel's Y/ns pretty much conceptualized since they were the easiest to come up with, however I'm still struggling a bit for the other three, along with the Poly Y/n. (This is going to be a drabble type of series, so nothing too intense or detailed.)

Also! Nobody come at me for changing three of their eye colours. This is an au and I think it makes sense for them to wear their specifically in-game eye colours as contacts since a lot of idols wear contacts on stage! Since irl Sylus wouldn't have red eyes unless he had albinism while Caleb and Rafayel would have to have some form of heterochromia to have their original eye colours.

I'm going to add this here as well, but this is an AU. Evols are present, but there is no threat of Wanderers. Only criminals who misuse their Evols, similar to the world of My Hero Academia and the like.

<3 I'll be back whenever to post the prelude! And also, if you're here for ToF, Divisa, or Inertia — I'll try to post on ToF and Inertia soon!

[libraford]

I'm not bothered by the conversation so much as I am a growing approach to activism which makes it impossible to interact with other people. Which echoes a lot of that conversation I had with Ginger this week.

He refuses to have friends that are not faithful to Jesus. Like, he can have a productive conversation with a non-believer and nearly connect with them socially, but if he learns that they don't go to church or don't believe in christ, he finds it difficult to take them seriously because their words were not god-inspired.

Ginger was in a cult. I do not mean this colloquially- Xenos/Dwell is a prominent pseudo-christian cult in central Ohio that preys on college students in need of community. There are rules about who you can date, who you can hang with, they practice gay coversion therapy, and will tell you not to visit your family if they're not Christian.

There is a lot of focus on purity. Actions, thoughts, social groups- it's very controlling about what you can and cannot do.

So. When he goes out into the world with us sinners, it becomes difficult to interact with general society.

We were talking about Merve, one of our foremen, and I said: "the first time I was in a car with Merve, he introduced himself as a Democratic Catholic Pervert. And honestly- yeah that's a good summation."

Ginger didn't like that at all. "Well he's not a very good catholic with all that talk of pornography, he should be ashamed of himself- honestly shouldn't even call himself Christian."

Merve is very much a womanizer, but it's all talk. He's gross about it sometimes and it rubs me the wrong way, but in all fairness- he warned me. Outside of that, he's what I expected from a 60-something landscaper.

"Well, I think whether he's a good Christian or not is up to God, not us."

And he got a little pissy over that comment because I caught him judging.

He only hangs out with 'the faithful' at work, which consists of three guys who are religious in a similar way and it's caused a bit of a rift in the culture. It's gotten a little... preachy. It wasn't preachy before.

So I am making... parallels to this behavior and a particular strain of activism that's been affected by purity culture.

Nothing is ever good enough. If it touches racism, it's banned forever and you have to spread the word about how it's racist. Where doing things that are well-intended puts you in the spotlight for the underlying and actually bigoted reason you're doing a nice thing. And prevents you from doing the nice thing in the future.

Because yes you did a nice thing, but it wasn't enough- you could be doing more.

Yes you did a nice thing, but you did this nice thing instead of tackling this bigger issue.

Yes you did a nice thing, but it was through this program that you didn't know was funded somewhat unethically.

Yes you did a nice thing, but your motivation for doing it wasn't the goodness of your heart, it was motivated by guilt.

Yes you did a nice thing, but it took a horrible event to do it when you should have had the morals of goodness ingrained in you and you should have done this from the start.

Yes you did a nice thing, but you only did it when it started impacting your life and you should be thinking of others first.

Yes you did a nice thing but the nice thing doesn't align perfectly with my worldview.

The goalpost is forever moving backwards.

No one likes to be called 'racist.' It's a really easy weapon to use when something does something you don't like. If you look at anything closely enough, you will see it's racist roots. You could say the same for misogyny, homophobia. Our society is built on hatred and inequality. Untangling it and living a morally pure life free of ridicule is impossible.

Recognizing the roots of an action to be bigoted is the first step. The second step is knowing it when you see it. Step three is pointing it out.

But there are more steps.

Pointing it out, or calling it out, and chastising someone for ignoring or not knowing something actually isn't all that helpful. Because it leaves you to wonder- okay, now what? What can I do to remedy this situation?

Which is the next step- actionable items. Yes, I have done something wrong- I am sorry.

I am sorry. Now I will try to make it right.

I will try to make it right by donating, by volunteering time, by listening to the people who have been hurt and lifting their voices.

Part of healing from an oppressive Christian community is realizing that people are going to sin whether you like it or not. And barring harm to themselves and others, you're gonna have to let them.

If my tarot practice is derived from a 15th century racist, then it was derived for a 15th century racist. Refusing to participate in a past-time that helps me connect with my family doesn't make it not racist. It will still be racist. But I'm not sure who it's hurting in 2024 and I don't have a time machine and I'm not being given clear instructions for how to unracist it.

[marsprincess889]

VEDIC ASTRO OBSERVATIONS

Part 3

More random and messy but still true

DISCLAIMER: if you consider some of these positive and others negative, then I want you guys to know that they come from my personal observations of real life. None of the nakshatras are better or worse, or positive or negative, these are just aspects of them, but nevertheless, true.

Magha people can have such an ego omg like I've said that before with rat yonis but P.Phalguni I think is nowhere near Magha in that department. Ashwini can also come off as egotistical, but it's moreso that they're unintentionally(or sometimes, intentionally) ignorant. Mula can also have egotistical tendencies, esp cause the galactic center(the black hole) is in Mula nakshatra, so they can have this "I'm the center of the world" attitude, but in my experience it manifests as just them mainly trusting themselves. All Ketu nakshatras have this theme of going inwards and shutting the world out, but since Magha is in the Sun ruled Leo (sun=ourselves, confidence) it can come off as undeservedely egotistical, different from Ashwinis aggressively(Aries/Mars) ignorant and Mula's relentlessly preachy(Sagittarius/Jupiter).

The Ashlesha to Jyeshta pipeline is actually very obvious, they're more connected than people realize. Obviously they're both Mercury nakshatras, but Ashlesha is often seen in a very sensual, feminine light and Jyeshta in a no-nonsense, cut to the chase light. The difference is that all that bottled up energy of Ashlesha, that was either healing or poisoning the native is ready to fight and be more direct in Jyeshta. They're both laser focused on survival and protecting themselves, desperately trying to realize themselves in the proccess, so it's a struggle. Both are trying to preserve their energy, but Ashlesha was trapped in the confines of the 4th house(family, roots,mother) and the sign of Cancer/Moon(emotions, fliudity, sensitivity), either for its safety or to its detriment, and was trying to get their energy out in a correct way. Jyeshta is out in the open, thrown in the sign of Scorpio/the 8th house/ passive Mars (transformation, rebirth, purging, sex, death, warfare, survival, defence. You and the other are one and the same in the 8th house). For Jyeshta, the only way to survive, is to win over everyone else, and when they eventually win, they gain dominion over others. So Jyeshta is kind of about revisiting that Ashlesha state and having the revenge, so to speak, because after gaining strength on your own, you eventually have to face the ones who you were so desperately trying to get away from(ashlesha).

Mulas can be so gentle and honestly at first I did not know where that came from, but since the last third of nakshatras are about transcending and mastering their ruling planet in a sense(btw, that does not mean that they embody the energy of the planet more, or that they're better) and Ketu is about primal instincts, then Mula is the place where the individual centers themselves in their truth and is unmoved by others, thus, avoiding unnecessary energy drainage. Of course, they can also be the most untamed of all, but in our civilized(mostly🙁) society, their natural demeanor is extremely calm.

Chitra natives are soooooo chaotic like calm down jesus. It makes sense when your consider that its gunas are TTT(tamas, tamas, tamas). Among the planets, Ketu is the most tamasic one(Chitra's ruler_Mars is also tamasic), but each nakshatra has their own guna(Ashwini is Rajas x3, Bharani is Rajas-Rajas-Tamas, Revati is Sattva x3, you get it). So Chitra people are the most chaotic, if I may say so. (Gotta credit The Hidden Octave's Chitra video for the observation). There are a lot of indicators that explain this but I've already written a lot in the previous ones😭 if you know basic vedic, this observation is of no surprise to you. They can also be prone to anxiety, but often they're unaware of it, so that has a detrimental effect on people around them.

Uttara Bhadrapadas are VERY hard to order around. Impossible even. Idk why someone would want to order someone else around but nevertheless, these natives can deal with any kind of unfairness with such grace, self-mastery and quiet strength that eventually nothing gets to them anymore. So if you see an U. Bhadra child disobey their superiors calmly and in a controlled but determined manner, you know why.

I really have a lot of respect for Uttara Ashadas(not all, lmao), because they just deal with stuff alone. And it's natural for them, and they don't do it for a goal(like in Jyeshta, which is not bad, it's just different) or for attention, it's just a way of life for them. Simplicity and stoicism 🤌

Okay, now a fun one: Moon girls (Rohini, Hasta and Shravana) are the blueprints of Y/N. If you guys don't know what Y/N please look it up. Not just Y/N, but characters like Bella Swan(hasta moon, rohini asc actress) and Elena Gilbert(shravana moon anctress) come to mind. Even popular instagram users who parody those movies/fanfics/characters have moon placements(@laframbuesaa_ rohini moon if i remember correctly and @yasmine_sahid_ shravana moon(?) on insta). Even Harry fcking styles, who is probably the most common love interest in those fanfics has hasta moon. If you know a little about nakshatras, this makes sooo much sense. Moon is something that masses can understand and digest easily, so it's not complicated and sometimes, it can verge on delusions(or an insane sensitivity and receptivity and the ability to read between the lines, but that's just for a number of their natives). Other nakshatras that can fall into the Y/N trope are venus and ketu nakshatras, but moon is the most classic example of it.

I want confirmation in the comments/reblogs for this one: Bharani natives love high fantasy, history(esp medieval), fantasy in general and/or just everything/anything with that vibe. Cause I'm bharani moon and I do, and I've seen some other examples. If not, then the Bharani natives themselves seem like they're out of those times/stories. I can't explain it in any other way. (This might be true for Bharani Ketu too.)

Alright, this is all. Reblog, comment, like. Interact please

Take care

[astonmartinii]

witchy business | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: reader x oscar piastri

oscar's gf is a lil kooky but she puts solstice to good use and mainfests some luck for her bf

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 31,094 others

yourusername: you're not really sisters if you've never done a ritual together ...

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user1 she's so mother

user2 i can't wrap my head around how her and oscar came to be but i love it

oscarpiastri don't have too much fun without me :(

yourusername tell your team to take out the no ritual clause from your contract i swear they're safe landonorris i heard your latin once IT IS NOT SAFE yourusername falsehoods !!

user3 does this girl have a job or is she just cosplaying ahs coven full time

yourusername i'm a florist, do you want my social security number and tax returns too?

danielricciardo any way you could like turn me into a real honey badger for a couple hours that sounds fun?

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 490,568 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: some time off well spent with my love

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user10 i am once again asking - how did this happen?

user11 it's actually a really cute story they apparently went to school together and she still does a weekly bouquet for his mum and grandma. they're og sweethearts all that opposites attract jazz

landonorris don't even get a photo credit with all the trauma i experienced for that pic

oscarpiastri bro you barged into my room and took a photo? landonorris i didn't see any sock on the door oscarpiastri it was my own house?

yourusername i love every moment together with you

oscarpiastri that sentiment goes both ways xx user12 god i am so alone

f1teaandgossip

liked by 14,098 others

f1teaandgossip: with lando and oscar being reported as frustrated, how long do you think it'll be until they're linked with moves elsewhere and do you think the updates will improve the car?

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user15 they don't deserve this

user16 i don't wanna be that person but this is karma for what they did to daniel

user17 i honestly think magic might be our only chance

user18 @yourusername pls work some magic

yourusername on it 🫡 user19 now that's my favourite wag

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 58,451 others

yourusername: the full moon is here and i'm bringing some luck to my baby

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user20 mother is here to save the day i know that's right

landonorris if this works i'll never say you're scary ever again

yourusername *when it works have some faith in the moon lando landonorris yeah i don't think i wanna mess with the moon

user21 that moment when the mcl60 is so bad that you start to believe in witchcraft

oscarpiastri i love you so much (p.s. thank you to the girls as well, i'll cover the next candle order)

yourusername i love you too honey - we're rooting for you yourbff1 we love you oscar yourbff2 i don't understand your sport but i love the wages cause candles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

charles_leclerc so are you adept in curses? asking for a friend....

maxverstappen1 sure. yourusername i don't (but i can give you a good luck crystal) charles_leclerc i'll take anything at this point

mclaren

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 808,458 others

mclaren: WOOOOOOOOOOOO WE TAKE A 2 - 3 FINISH IN HUNGARY 🇭🇺 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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user26 i am bamboozled

user27 so .... it worked?

landonorris i have never said a bad word about y/n's hobby NEVER I LOVE YOU Y/N AND I LOVE THE MOON

oscarpiastri she's still MY girlfriend mate landonorris i am aware i am merely stating my appreciation for her

user28 i know the team just finally got their shit together... but YAAAAS WITCH SLAY

yourusername so so happy for you guys

oscarpiastri i love you so so so so much xxxxxxxx

user29 y/n is my driver of the day

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 68,349 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: i love you so. forever proud.

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user31 fave couple FOR REAL

landonorris fine yall are so cute

oscarpiastri finally, only took a few months

user32 i need something like this in my life

oscarpiastri i love you more.

yourusername anything for you. even asking the moon for help with cars.

danielricciardo once again i am asking to be turned into a real honey badger for a couple hours

maxverstappen1 i think it's time to give up danny

note: idk what this is but lol i had fun - i shall get to the requests next, hope you enjoy !!!

[dreamingofmarauders]

You Belong With Me

James Potter x Reader

Summary: In which despite having rejected you, James feels the uttermost jealousy of someone else being near you

Warnings: Jealousy, rejection, angry/a bit possessive James Potter, regret, arguing, cussing, crying (Let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: I honestly don’t even know what I was thinking then, but this idea just randomly hit me so here it is lol. Hope you enjoy! ❤️

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

James tightened his hold on his glass of Firewhiskey, his gaze piercing dangerously as he watched you get too close with another guy. He clenched his jaw, downing his drink in one go before he tossed the glass back on the table, rage filling his whole being.

He had no right to feel like this. After all, he was supposed to be in love with Lily, not you. At least, that's what he kept trying to tell himself but as he watched you drape your arms around a Slytherin, both swaying to the music, he felt nothing but pure hatred for the male and absolute jealousy.

You should be in James' arms, not his.

James clenched his jaw, shutting his eyes as he inwardly groaned, as it came back to him once again, the memory so vivid it was as if the young Potter was reliving it once again.

You and James leaned against the railing of the Astronomy Tower, your eyes fixated upon the captivating night sky. You turned your head to look at the hazel eyed beside you, who gazed up at the twinkling stars with a soft smile sitting upon his lips. You and James had been best friends since you were children and your bond only deepened during the many years you spent together at Hogwarts. It was a weekly tradition for the two of you to stargaze together.

Your heart fluttered at the content expression on James' face, nothing but adoration in your eyes for him. Over the years, you didn't realize when but you had fallen for your best friend.

You were in love with James Potter.

However you kept that secret locked away in your heart, knowing James had been chasing after the redhead, Lily Evans, since you all were eleven.

Now as you admired James, the ways his lips curved or the twinkle in his hazel eyes, or his always messy black locks, or the way a dimple appeared whenever he smiled, the words slipped past your lips before you could stop them.

"I love you."

Your eyes widened with horror as James' rounded at that as well, turning to look at you in surprise.

You had mentioned many times how much you loved him but what caught James off guard this time was the way you spoke the words, the emotion behind them indicating a whole other meaning, a confession of you being in love with him.

"What?" He breathed out.

You sighed, knowing it was useless to deny it.

"I am in love with you, James."

"No." James uttered out in horror, taking a step back, causing a crack to form in your heart. "You can't be in love with me. I-I only love Lily."

Despite knowing the truth, your heart still shattered at the words that passed his lips, your eyes brimming up with tears.

Why had you even dared to hope he may reciprocate your feelings?

"I love Lily, Y/n. I could never love you." He said, as the tears slid down your cheeks. "I'm sorry." And with that James spun on his heels and hurried away, leaving you to stare after him, utterly heartbroken.

You had destroyed your own relationship with James, severing off the threads that had bonded the two of you together since forever.

You angrily wiped your face.

Why did every force in the universe always have to work against you?

The two of you haven't spoken since. James seethed as he watched Rosier pull you closer, but what really ticked him off was that your gaze had connected with his, and he knew that you knew what James was really feeling as you observed his very red face, before you inched your face closer to the Slytherin's.

That was the final straw for James Potter.

He immediately took a step in your direction but a hand latched onto his arm, rooting him to the spot.

"Mate, calm down."

James' furious gaze flickered to see who had dared to stop him, his eyes finding the silvery grey irises of his best friend.

Sirius knew exactly what had transpired, all the Marauders did. After all, you had been a fifth of their group, and your absence had impacted them all.

"Prongs, you need to calm down." Sirius instructed again, carefully analyzing James' facial expression.

This only angered the young Potter.

"Stay out of this, Black." He spat out and shrugged off Sirius' hand, ignoring his friend's protests.

James strutted over to you with nothing but fury and jealousy blinding him. When he reached you and Rosier, he shoved the Slytherin back, who shot the Gryffindor a death glare, grabbed your wrist and dragged you through the crowd of bustling and dancing teenagers, ignoring your protests. He finally dropped his hand from you when the two of you were in the silent corridor outside the Gryffndor common room.

You glared at James, who was staring back at you intensely, his jaw clenched.

"What the fuck, Potter?!" You yelled.

"What the fuck were you doing with that Rosier?! You were doing it on purpose!" James retorted back, silencing you for a mere moment before your face hardened.

"I can do whatever the hell I want, Potter, you have absolutely no right over my life!" You screamed at him, throwing your hands up in anger. "You told me you don't love me, you pushed me away, so how in the world do you get to decide what I can do and whom I can be with?! Why does it bother you so much?!" You shrieked at him.

However the next second, your back was pressed against the cold stone wall as James closed the distance between the two of you, caging you in his arms as his lips pressed to yours. You tried to resist, knowing this wouldn't end well, but the feel of him on you ignited a fire that yearned for more and your hands slithered to lock behind his neck, as you both poured out all your emotions into the kiss.

When the need for oxygen became great, the two of you pulled away, James placing his forehead against yours, as the both of you panted.

"This isn't fair to me, James." You breathed out, your eyes brimming once again. "You can't say you want Lily but then not let me live my life either." A tear slid down your cheek as your voice became heavy with emotion.

James lifted his head back, raising his hand to softly brush away your tears, placing a kiss on both of your cheeks before he peered into your y/e/c eyes, his gaze so intense that it seemed he was looking right into your soul.

"I am so sorry, love. I was wrong. I kept telling myself that it's Lily, but," He shook his head rather vigorously, "I've missed you more than ever since that day. My heart keeps calling out to you and I tried to push it down, but seeing you with another made me fully realize that there is no one else I would rather have than you." He confessed, placing his hand on your cheek, relishing in the way you leaned into his touch.

He continued, whilst lovingly caressing your cheek.

"My life is colorless and dull without you, y/n/n. I want you, darling. I... I love you." James uttered out, watching your face flood with astonishment, noticing the way you had stilled in his hold. Knowing he couldn't lose your attention, he went on, "I know I was an absolute jerk to you that day and today, but I promise you my love, if you give me the chance, I will spend the rest of my life, spend each day proving to you how much I really do care for you." James professed, his heart pounding heavily as he awaited your response.

You stared at him in complete shock, eyes round, making James afraid that he had truly lost you for good. However, a rush of relief flooded James' body when your beautiful lips slowly curved up into a tiny smile.

"I'll give you one chance, Jamie, just one."

The biggest smile you had ever seen graced James' face at your answer, and he cupped both your cheeks, "Thank you! Thank you!" He lifted you off the floor, spinning you around before he gracefully set you back on your feet, his arms going to settle around your waist. "I promise you that you will not regret this, darling."

And James Potter lived up to his promise, as each day after that, he made sure to show you how much he truly did love you, and Merlin were you above the clouds to have landed the man of your dreams, disbelief still clawing at you from time to time that James Potter loved you back just as much as you loved him.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

[gayofthefae]

Nothing, I'm just saying it's kind of suspicious that almost every time El cries over Mike it's because she experiences proof of him not loving her or moving on from her

But when Will cries about him it's consistently because of unconfirmed beliefs Will came up with himself

I'm just saying it's suspicious how when his girlfriend cries it's always because she found proof, however credible, that he doesn't love her but when the guy he "actually doesn't love" cries about the same thing, there's no basis.

It's just funny to me how they would only provide receipts for the thing that supposedly isn't true and give absolutely nothing for the thing that supposedly "obviously is"...

Also, it's funny, I felt inaccurate describing Will as "consistently" because he isn't written to be hurt by their relationship enough for an actual pattern to emerge, hmm...

But honestly this is how you prove shit and this is why we know shit. It isn't about how you were supposed to catch it already. It's about how suspicious it is that if he doesn't love El, there are lots of setups to point to to prove they've been writing the plot that way for years, but if he doesn't love Will, there's just about nothing besides an audience member's own heteronormativity on an individual basis and nothing the show provided.

As I've said, I went in believing Mike loved El and was disproven successfully. I then proceeded believing Mike loved Will and have yet to be. I was not a Byler when I was disproven. I was rooting for Mike and El, in fact. Information is still information. I still received it.

It's all about setups. If they set up only one plotline/payoff and did absolutely nothing for the other and those are the only two options, then we know what's gonna happen. It's that simple.

[dadupbuck]

February wrap up

This month I have bookmarked 25 fics! Though I'm only sharing the 9-1-1 fics in this wrap up. All except 1 are Buddie

It only takes a taste (when it's something special) by weewooforever

Buddie | Rated E | 7k | summer of buckfidelity, getting together, first kiss, first time | 2024

Eddie shifts slightly and clears his throat again. “But can you answer my original question? What’s it like kissing a guy?” Buck shrugs, trying to sound casual. “Honestly? It’s pretty much the same as kissing a girl. Lips are lips, you know?” Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Really? It’s just the same?” “Yeah, I mean, it’s all about the connection,” Buck replies, feeling a bit defensive. “Kissing is kissing, right?” Eddie crosses his arms, unconvinced. “Come on, Buck. It can’t be that simple. You’re telling me there’s no difference at all?” Buck leans back, a playful smirk spreading across his face. “Well, if you don’t believe me, I could always prove it to you.”

You're my home, and I'm happy here by gisseleslash

Buddie | Rated G | 2K | established buddie, protective Eddie, insecure Buck, soft Buddie, emotional hurt/comfort | 2025

Chim teases Buck about moving too quickly with Eddie and it brings out all of his doubts. Fortunately Eddie has no doubts about them. Not a single one.

Things that go 'hoot' in the night by Shortsighted_Owl

Buddie | rated G | 5K | established buddie, halloween, worried Eddie, reckless Buck | 2022

Frowning, Buck turns his head toward the noise. Two branches up, obscured by a well placed cluster of twigs, a pair of golden eyes stare back. Gulping, Buck takes a hand from the ladder, and slowly, slowly moves it to his radio, feeling the button give as he tentatively presses the top, hearing the slight squawk of static as the channel opens. “Ugh guys, I think I found our suspect.” Immediately, the leaves around him shudder, as the bright eyes suddenly get much, much closer. “HOOOOO” hoots the owl, the white feathers of its throat puffing up as it leans forward and shouts at the human in its tree. Its head bobs forward as its wings slowly spread, filling the space around it. Buck blanches as the bird puffs up its feathers even more, a wall of bronze and black. “AH!” replies the rather startled human. - Halloween is in full swing and as the veil between worlds thins, things start to go bump in the night. When a jogger is mysteriously injured on a busy street with no witnesses, the 118 are called in to help. Buck, however, discovers their suspect isn't exactly what they had in mind.

Call Me What You Will by ameliahart

Buddie | rated E | 6k | post 8x06 confessions, first time, getting together, Eddie’s couch | 2025

“I knew I was interrupting when I got here,” he continues, gesturing to Eddie’s outfit with one hand while his other creeps up Eddie’s thigh, his thumb brushing along the inside. “But I didn’t realize I was interrupting.” “I was doing Risky Business,” Eddie insists. “C’mon, man. Tom Cruise?” Buck looks utterly delighted, clearly not believing a word coming out of Eddie’s mouth. “Sounds like your business was risky, all right.” “Buck.” “Good thing I didn’t use my key.” “Buck.” *** Yet another continuation of 8x06 where Buck pouts, Eddie feels joy, and they fuck about it.

Cowboy Take Me Away by PixelsMom1990

Buddie | rated T | 6k | getting together, flustered Buck, cowboy Eddie, pining, worried Buck, Texan accent | 2022

Sometimes, Buck forgot that Eddie was from Texas. He’d been in LA for so long that he didn’t really have an accent anymore, except for when he was really sleepy or had a little too much to drink. His vowels would drop, syllables would get a little bit too long and suddenly everyone was “honey” or “baby” or god forbid “darlin’” and Hen would have to scrape Buck off the floor. Literally. Or, Buck is occasionally reminded of Eddie’s roots in Texas and behaves appropriately.

From Your Point of View by MacksDramaticShenanigans

Buddie | rated T | 4k | drunk, first kiss, getting together, coming out, making out, love confessions, sleepy cuddled | 2025

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie not-quite-slurs. It’s a close thing, though. The glass in his hand is his fourth— no, fifth, and wine always hits him so much harder. He’s bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked and loose-limbed on the couch, pressed so close to Buck he’s half in his lap. Buck’s got a steadying arm around his waist— couldn’t avoid the draw to touch even if he wanted to. “Hm?” Buck asks, feeling a little buzzy himself. “Buck,” Eddie repeats. “You’re bicyc—bisect— bisexual.” Buck laughs at Eddie’s stumble. Smiles bright, proud, and nods. “I am,” he agrees. “Have you ever—” Eddie’s winestained mouth purses; his brow furrows thoughtfully, “— have you ever thought about me?” He sways forward, widens his eyes purposefully, whispers, “Like, y’know.”

All that you ever wanted from me by stevesconverse

Buddie | rated T | 7,8k | migraines, sick Buck, Eddie takes care of Buck, first kiss, getting together, hurt/comfortz, chronic pain, soft Buddie, Buck has self-esteem issues | 2024

He inspects the way Buck’s face sinks into his pillow, the way his thick arm rests over the comforter, hugging it to his body, the way his brow is still furrowed with tension. God, he’s beautiful. Eddie shudders at the realization. It’s not like he had never given it a thought before, had never caught himself staring at Buck from across the room—but this is different. It’s not just admiration anymore. His heart warms in a way that makes him uncomfortable and unsure of what he’s feeling. Subconsciously, he lets one hand reach out, thumb tenderly smoothing over the creases in Buck’s forehead. It’s almost casual, like it’s not a big deal. Like it’s just something he does, even though this moment is anything but casual. Like he’s not blurring the lines of their relationship right now, like a wave washing over drawings in the sand. or the one where Eddie takes care of Buck when he's being plagued by a bad migraine.

Give me a call if you ever get lonely by loveisawildthing

Buddie | rated E | 21,7k | texting, phone sex, friends with benefits, sharing a bed, getting together, hurt/comfort, fluff | 2024

“What are you wearing?” Buck asks. Eddie’s laugh is sharp and loud, not having expected Buck to say that. “Really? That’s the best you’ve got?” “Eddie. It’s a classic. Tell me.” “What if I said I’ve got nothing on?” Eddie asks, purposely pitching his voice lower. “Hey,” Buck scolds him. “First rule of phone sex: no lying.” “There are rules?” “You are so difficult.” Eddie tells Buck to text him whenever he's thinking of Tommy, so he doesn't have to keep baking. Safe to say, things...escalate.

Wrong bed, Buck! By Ellesworth86

Buddie | rated M | 3k | sleepwalking, sleeping together/sharing a bed, mutual pining, first time, drunken confessions, Buck needs a hug, worried Eddie | 2023

Three times that Buck got into the wrong bed, and one where he found the right one. ---- The first time it happened, Buck was exhausted... Eddie had just gotten comfortable and was feeling himself start to drift off to sleep when his door opened slowly. Groaning, he opened his eyes, and squinting, he watched as Buck silently walked around the bed, pulled back the comforter and climbed in. “Wrong bed, Buck.” Eddie heard himself mumble, still in that drowsy stage, halfway between asleep and awake. “No ‘s’not.” The reply came, just as sleepily. “Right bed...nice and warm...favourite person...” Then a snore as he rolled onto his side, his back to Eddie, who didn’t have either the energy or the heart to argue, so he just curled up on his side and fell back asleep.

I Will Not Ask (and Neither Should You) by buckschewtoy, StupidGenius

Buddie | rated E | 11k | bucktommy break up, jealous Eddie, possessive Eddie, transgender Buck, infidelity/buckfidelity, feelings realization, love confessions, Eddie & Karen friendship | 2024

“Don’t be so heartfelt when I’m trying to be dirty, man.” “Maybe your dirty talk needs a little work.” Eddie laughs. “Because yours is so much better?” Eddie closes the distance, nipping a little on Buck’s lower lip. “Could be.” He murmurs lowly. Buck sighs happily, rolling his hips. His hands slide up to cradle Eddie’s jaw, mouth moving against his. He makes a little hurt sound as Eddie encourages him, and the reality of the situation finally hits him. Buck’s cheating on his boyfriend. With Eddie.

Plant new seeds in the melody by bibuckleyforever

Buddie | rated G | 21,5k | 4 chapters - complete | AU, different first meeting, florist Buck, POV alternating, fluff, no angst, flirting, getting together, soft Buddie, first kiss | 2023

“So,” Hen starts as she sits down next to Eddie on the couch once they’re back at the fire station. “So?” Eddie asks expectantly, putting his phone down from where he had been sending Chris a reminder text to get started on his English essay this weekend. “I saw you flirting with the florist. Scratch that, everyone saw you flirting with the florist.” Eddie raises an eyebrow at her. “Flirting? I was not flirting.” “You were basically drooling over the guy. Not that I blame you, even I could tell he’s gorgeous.” Eddie rolls his eyes and goes back to typing his message to Chris. “Was he? I didn’t even notice.” “Mhm,” Hen says as she watches Eddie tapping at his phone. “He had that nice blonde hair, and those beautiful big brown eyes and–” “Blue,” Eddie corrects before snapping his head up to see Hen smirking at him. His face burns bright red. “Okay, yes, he was attractive. Happy now?” --- Or, Eddie's all but given up on dating when he meets Buck at the scene of a call. Chimney and Hen think of it as a sign from the universe. Buck and Eddie think of it as a chance to finally get the love story they've always wanted.

Drunk accidents (sober decisions) by buddiesmutslut

Buddie | rated E | 7k | s7e5 You Don't Know Me, canon divergent, no bucktommy, getting together, lingerie, possessive Eddie, jealous Buck, Edisol breakup | 2024

Immediately following the coming out scene in the loft, Buck gets a package delivered that he'd ordered one night in a drunken haze. The contents will change the trajectory of his life.

Find My Friends by TazzySnow

Buddie | rated T | 7k | established Buddie, buried alive, Buck whump, kidnapping, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, protective Eddie | 2023

Buck has wondered before what it was like underground when Eddie was buried alive, and the idea of being buried alive gives him the fucking willies for sure, but he's never been afraid of tight spaces. He's an object, a piece of a collection yet to be harvested. The sound of the dirt being piled above him grows more and more muffled until it's gone completely and he lays in silence. --- Buck is buried alive and it's a damn good thing Eddie stalks him on Find My Friends.

By act of grace by hattalove

Buddie | rated T | 10k | getting together, recovery, first kiss, family fluff, pining, dogs, dog dad Eddie | 2022

“Oh,” Greg says, his face falling, “that’s Lucifer.” Buck lets out something between a laugh and a cough. “Lucifer,” he repeats. “It's a long story,” Greg says, tugging on the collar of his polo, his name tag clinking. “He's—not exactly well socialized, and he really, really hates—“ he starts, except he’s interrupted by Eddie’s voice, the first words Buck has heard him say since they dropped Chris off at Hen and Karen's. “Hi,” Eddie says, crouching right under the bright red sign – which, now that Buck’s close enough to read it, says DO NOT PET – and reaching his fingers toward the bars. “—men,” Greg finishes, his voice weak, frozen mid-step like he’s not sure if he should be hauling Eddie away while there’s still time. “He hates men. Usually.” or the one in which healing looks a little like ten pounds of dog with a mean streak.

Midnight by DuoOfDiaz

Buddie | rated T | 126 | established Buddie, drabble, texting, text fic, engaged Buddie | 2025

Written for Buddie Month Week Four: prompt - Midnight

Parabola by semperama

Buddie | rated T | 4,6k | post s8e8 wannabes, getting together, Eddie’s will, angst with a happy ending | 2025

“Hey, uh. By the way.” Buck’s been thinking about this, and he has to say it now, or it’ll explode out of him at a much worse time, in a much worse way. “Make sure you don’t forget to change your will again.” Eddie turns toward him, mouth quirked, brow furrowed, like Buck has just said something sort of silly. Like he’s talking about curses again. “What?” “I mean. Like.” Buck twists his fingers together in his lap and looks down at them. “You need to change it so your parents will be his guardians, right? If something happens to you.” “What?” Eddie says again, and he doesn’t sound amused this time.

What is Love for $2000? By fayevian

Buddie | rated M | 17K | AU, different first meeting, social media, mixed media, humor, light angst, Jeopardy, fluff, smart Buck, famous Buck | 2023

On the screen, the camera pans down as they introduce the contestants. Mary, on her 3rd day winning streak, is a dowdy teacher type. Center stage is occupied by a graying man with loopy handwriting named Auggie. And all the way to the right is… Evan. Damn. --- One night when Eddie can't sleep, he discovers the hottest Jeopardy contestant of all time (objectively). With the "help" of his team and his fairly good working knowledge of Twitter, they devise a plan to get Evan (from Jeopardy) to slide into Eddie's DMs. It works surprisingly well.

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life by lamardeuse

Buddie | rated T | 4k | first kiss, season 6, drunk Buck, angst, emotional hurt Buck | 2022

Three hours after the fertility clinic called him, Buck was in the bar down the street from his apartment getting drunk off his ass.

We'd be so grand at the game by lamardeuse

Buddie | rated E | 12K | practice dating, didn't know they were dating, first kiss, first time, idiots to lovers | 2023

“How are we gonna practice dating if we can't even take the first step?” Three hours later, when he was lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, Eddie would not be able to pinpoint with any certainty what possessed him to say what he said next. All he knew was that at the time, it seemed like the perfect answer, the obvious solution. “We practice on each other.”

Heaven's a thing (I go there when I touch you) by gooseishere

Buddie | not rated | 1k | first kiss, cuddling, love confessions, getting together, fluff | 2023

Buck sighs, “God this is so embarrassing, can I-“ He turns to look Eddie in the eyes. “Can I have a hug?” Part of Eddie wants to laugh. Laugh at the absurdity of Buck being this nervous to ask Eddie for something as simple as a hug. The other part of Eddie wants to tug Buck to his chest and never let go. “Of course, you can. C’mere.” (or, buck and eddie hug. repeatedly)

And I'd do it over and over again by playinginthunderstorms

Buddie | rated E | 4k | post s8e6 confessions, first time | 2025

Gun to his head, Buck honestly doesn't think he could say which one of them made the first move, but somewhere in between the six-pack he'd brought over and whatever was left of a dusty bottle of tequila in the back of a kitchen cupboard, Eddie—beautiful, radiant Eddie, with his pink shirt and tiny underwear—had ended up in his lap, thighs bracketing Buck's, gasping and grinding helplessly into Buck's hips, the most delicious whines spilling out of his mouth and straight onto Buck's tongue, white-hot pleasure spiking through him as potent as the lightning bolt, so he figures he'll at least die happy. (Or, Buck and Eddie hook up at the end of "Confessions".)

It was our place by HisBucky

Buck & Chimney | rated T | 1,5k | introspection, found family, brothers | 2023

Blue eyes instead of brown. Strawberry instead of vanilla. “You’re my brother. You know that. Right?” -:- or the time when Chimney brings Buck to his and Kevin's favorite diner

[manonssunset]

"UNWRAP ME"

pairing: huh yunjin x fem!reader

synopsys: yunjin mentioned she has a special christmas surprise waiting for you. when you arrived at home, you were surprised to find out that the special gift was her, seated beneath the christmas tree, ready for you to "unwrap" her.

warnings/tags: language, smut, nsfw content under the cut, established relationship, service top!reader, yunjin is the one giving commands, lingerie, dry humping (thigh riding)

wc: +3,4k

a/n: happy new year, guys! this is my special (super late) gift for you all, also first time posting something like this on the blog. I hope you find it hot, lol. this took me longer than expected, but I’m satisfied with the way it turned out. I reduced the smut part substantially because, honestly, you would have had to wait another 10 days to read it, bye 💀. but I still wrote almost 600 words of just them kissing, so there's that.

working through christmas was always quiet and a bit annoying, with clients constantly bragging about their exotic holiday plans or the luxurious gifts they were preparing to buy. but the truth was, you had no reason to feel envious. after all, you had the most priceless gift of all: yunjin, the kind of girl most could only wish for. 

the sharp ding of your phone’s notification pulled you out of your thoughts. it was a sudden interruption, cutting through the steady rhythm of clicking fingers on keyboards, sounds that were all too familiar in the office. you glanced at the screen, expecting to see an email or maybe a quick reminder from a colleague. instead, your gaze fell on a message from your girlfriend. she often checked in on you while you worked, and you always found it endearing. 

this time, however, the message wasn’t the usual question about how work was going or a casual mention of what she was making for dinner. no, this one felt entirely different.

[jen💋] your special gift is waiting for you under the tree, please get home as soon as you can ;) 

(05:46 p.m.)

[you] 10 minutes and I'm out

(05:48 p.m.)

the message felt playful, almost teasing, and you were thrilled at the thought of what awaited you at home. she had mentioned before that she had something special prepared just for you, a gift that, in her words, you were going to absolutely love, said in that sensual tone of hers that always left your head spinning. to say you were eager to find out what she meant was an understatement.

-♧-

your hand trembled slightly as you gripped the keys to your shared apartment, anticipation rising with every turn of the metal. when the door finally clicked open, the soothing scent of vanilla and wood greeted you, wrapping around you like a warm embrace. as you stepped inside, you were immediately struck by an unexpected darkness in the room, the only light coming from the flickering glow of candles scattered around the space.

the silence was unnerving, an absence that made you pause. the only sound was the occasional crackle of the candles, yet it felt like something, or someone, was missing. yunjin’s presence, which you had so eagerly anticipated, wasn’t there to greet you as you had expected. she had promised to show you the long-awaited gift she’d been teasing you about all week, and yet, there was no sign of her.

your gaze instinctively shifted to the bottom of the christmas tree, and for a moment, you froze. your heart skipped a beat, and it took a second for your mind to catch up with what your eyes were seeing. she was there, wearing a black silk robe, held together with a red rope tied into a bow, like some kind of living present waiting just for you. the light from the candles reflected off the fabric, giving her an almost ethereal glow. she lay on the carpet, looking up at you with an inviting, seductive gaze.

your breath caught up in your throat, and for a brief second, you weren't sure if you should move closer or stay rooted in place. you gulped as you stood still, speechless, completely captivated by the sight before you. “you're finally home, I've been waiting for you” you felt your knees weaken at the tone of her voice, filled with control and sensuality. you couldn’t form a response, too overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment to be able to articulate anything.

she rose with grace, and, as she closed the distance between you two, each of her steps were accompanied by heels tapping against the floor. It was as though a muse was walking towards you, her hips swaying from side to side with an elegant, almost hypnotic confidence. your heartbeat quickened as she got closer, and instinctively, you started taking steps back, your senses heightened, your mind a mix of conflicting emotions. part of you wanted to ask what was happening, but another part was curious to see where this moment would lead.

the back of your legs collided with the couch, and you suddenly felt cornered, with nowhere to go, no escape from her approaching presence. a sly smirk tugged at her lips as she closed the distance, gently pushing you to sit down. the coldness of the cushions on your skin contrasted sharply with the warmth spreading inside you. your gazes locked, and in that instant, the desire in her eyes was so intense it felt almost magnetic, drawing you in, making you want to lose yourself in her and everything she embodied.

she positioned herself comfortably on your lap, her movements slow, milky legs peeking out from beneath the robe. it was then that you noticed the meticulous attention she had paid to her makeup, each detail enhancing her beauty. she had even chosen your favorite perfume, a sweet vanilla scent that perfectly complemented the fragrance of the candles. it was clear now that she had carefully orchestrated this moment, aiming to give you a show that you were bound to enjoy.

the sudden closeness caused heat to flood your face. the slight pressure of her body pressed against yours sent your mind into overdrive. you could feel every subtle shift of her weight, making it hard to focus on anything else that wasn’t her. your hand instinctively went to her thighs, gently massaging the soft skin that radiated warmth under your fingertips. she gently traced her fingers up your arms, the light touch sending a wave of goosebumps across your skin, before placing them on top of your shoulders. 

you stilled as her face inched closer, her lips just centimetres from your ear. in this proximity, the intoxicating scent of her perfume magnified tenfold, its sweetness filling your senses and clouding your thoughts. her breath was warm against your skin as she whispered “unwrap me”, her voice drenched in the same seductive tone that never failed to unsettle and allure you in. she noticed the subtle tension in your body after her words, the air thickened, growing more charged than before. your hands slowly made their way to the ribbon, fingertips grazing the soft fabric, before you finally gripped its ends. 

you trembled as you undid the knot, the cool, soft fabric of the ribbon slipping smoothly beneath your fingers. the knot was simple but each movement felt agonizingly slow, as though time itself was stretching, drawn out by the weight of her gaze. her eyes, full of expectation, never left you, and the intensity of her look made your breath catch in your throat.

you held your breath as the ribbon finally loosened, your heartbeat thudding loudly in your ears. all the anticipation that had built from the moment she’d sent that text was unraveling now, piece by piece, and you couldn’t help but feel the tension hang in the air.

your eyes followed the path of her robe as it fell open, slipping off her shoulder to reveal what she had kept hidden until now. you couldn't help it when a gasp escaped your lips as you finally took in the sight before you: yunjin, all dolled up for you, wearing nothing more than a red lace set of lingerie. it accentuated her curves in a way that left your jaw slightly open, yet her elegance remained unmistakable. her set was far from tacky or overly explicit, it clung to her body with a sensuality that balanced provocativeness and sophistication. it revealed just enough, embracing her shape while maintaining a sense of grace and modesty. 

the warm, golden hues of the room bathed her exposed skin, creating a soft, radiant glow. she resembled a living version of venus, as if she had stepped out of a renaissance painting, one that belonged in a museum. arousal swept through you as a tingling sensation began to rise. the tightness that had formed in your stomach spread lower, a pulsing ache that clouded your mind with lust. it was clear that the feeling was mutual. the intensity of her gaze and the way her eyes locked with yours was a telltale sign that she was consumed too by the same need. her restless shifting, searching for the friction she desperately craved, also spoke volume.

she broke the silence with a question, her voice quieter, tinged with an unexpected hint of uncertainty. “do you like it?” despite your obvious reaction, she still sought confirmation, her usual confidence momentarily slipping. “jen, I don't think you understand how much I love it,” you said, almost baffled by her question. it wasn’t just about the lingerie, although it was stunning, it was everything she had done for this moment, all the care and effort she had put into it, just for you. and above all, it was her, the most important person for you. “thank you, baby,” she replied, her seductive tone returning as she cupped your face with both hands and leaned closer. “now, let’s get to the good part.”

her lips crashed against yours with urgency, the relentlessness evident in the way she yanked you closer, her fingers gripping the back of your head, anchoring themselves in your hair. the contact was frantic, as if she couldn't get enough of you. she tilted her head slightly to the side, deepening the kiss as you let your hands roam her body freely, your fingers caressing her skin before resting on her waist. there was a raw desperation in the way she kissed you, as if she was trying to devour you; her longing for you was unmistakable, like she could no longer keep it contained.

the way her lips moved with yours was soothing, the warmth of her skin sinking deep into you, making everything else fade away. your bodies were so close, it was almost as if you were breathing each other in, each subtle movement heightening the feeling of intimacy. the kiss was the physical manifestation of the desire you had both been hiding, the need to feel every part of each other becoming almost overwhelming. it wasn't anymore just about meeting lips, it was about being intertwined, your bodies pressing against each other in perfect harmony. 

you both pulled away briefly, her breath was ragged and shallow, a soft whimper escaping her as you squeezed the flesh of her ass. you both lingered there, a brief pause from the intensity of the session, both of your lips slightly parted as you caught your breath, chest rising and falling in sync. her pupils were dilated, a hint of something in her eyes, an unspoken impulse that was being held back, waiting to be released. you heard her mumble a quiet “fuck it” and before you could even register her words, she tugged you forward by the collar of your shirt, your lips making contact again. 

her tongue ran gently over your lips, applying pressure as a silent invitation to enter. you granted her request, allowing her muscle to invade your mouth, lightly sucking on it. she let out a surprised gasp at the sensation, her fingers tightly gripping the fabric of your button up shirt. as you massaged your tongues together in a gentle but intense dance, teeth clicking and saliva exchanging, your hands returned around her waist, pressing into the softness of her skin. you carefully bit her bottom lip, drawing it between yours as you continued sucking. it was all too much for her, the sensation was overwhelming, and her control slowly slipped away.

she began grinding on your lap as you were still kissing, her body moving effortlessly as she chased her own pleasure. you guided her hips and pressed her down further more, and she let out little, desperate gasps every time your lips parted to allow oxygen in. you couldn't lie and say that yunjin using you as a way to get off didn't turn you on, the sensation was electrifying, and you felt your own desire seep through your panties, soaking them. 

“mmph–ahh, jesus—” her sweet moans were muffled by your lips, creating a delicious symphony that reverberated in the confines of your mouth, sending shivers down your spine. the rough fabric of your work pants against her thin panties generated the ideal friction on her clit, making her mind go fuzzy. her hands roamed aimlessly, grasping and gripping whatever lay within reach: the fabric of your shirt, your arms, the back of your neck, your hair, and so on. she was riding your thigh so desperately it was almost cinematic: erratically moving her hips, grinding down, attempting to rub every time on the same perfect spot that gave her immense pleasure.

the room was starting to feel too hot for you. the heat from the candles, but especially from the union of your two bodies so close together, was becoming unbearable, so you decided to break the kiss to remove some of your clothing. after you delicately pushed yunjin back, allowing her body to rest on your legs, your eyes widened in surprise at the sight before you. it was beautiful; a clear, glassy strand of saliva was still connecting the two of you, a quiet reminder of your closeness. she was about to whine at the loss of contact when she also realized what she was seeing, and a small genuine smile tugged at her lips. 

you took advantage of the quiet moment to finally contemplate your girlfriend’s physical state: her face had a subtle pink flush that still peeped through even under her makeup, her lips were a strong red color that matched her lingerie, and they were quite swollen, an evident consequence of the kissing. her eyes were like a window to the multitude of emotions that pervaded her: delight, confidence, a bit of frustration, and, above all, desire. as your gaze moved lower down her body, you spotted a wet patch on her underwear; the fabric turned a much darker shade of red, and you wanted nothing more than to get a taste of the source of that change.

she noticed your intense stare and turned her head, flustered. “stop staring at me like that,” she said softly, her voice pulling you out of your trance as you felt her left hand brush over the skin of your face, settling on your jaw. in that moment, all your focus was on her. “no, but seriously,” she started, her tone firm like she needed you to be serious with her. “why did you stop?” her question was accompanied by a tiny pout, which made you smile, her frustration evident in her puppy-like features. you let out a slight chuckle in response, placing your hand over hers as a sign of reassurance. 

“I was honestly just too hot and wanted to take my shirt off,” you truthfully replied with a grin, finding the simplicity of your answer pretty amusing. as the words left your mouth, her pout melted away into a smile, mirroring yours. underlying her happiness though, she felt a tingling sensation begin to rise, a silent excitement at seeing you without your shirt. “do that then,” you caught her need by the urgency of her command and by the way she looked at you, as if she had already taken your shirt off with her eyes. you were more than happy to comply, gradually undoing all of your buttons just to tease her.

her whole demeanor was full of anticipation, she had folded her hands diligently on her lap while she watched you do your thing. as you slowly stripped for her, dragging out all of your movements since you knew it would turn her on more, she spotted your sculpted abs and your muscular arms, finally free of your shirt. the sight hit her all at once, causing her thighs to impulsively clench around yours and her hips to buck into the air.

heat flooded her face as she blushed in embarrassment, her reaction an obvious indication of her neediness; her head dropped into the crook of your now fully exposed neck, as if she was trying to hide from you. she took advantage of the closeness to inhale the scent your body. it was a mix of the aquatic and musky fragrance you used at work, one she could never resist whenever you wore it, mingled with the natural, comforting aroma of your skin. this mixture was fatal for yunjin, the scent did unspeakable things to her, her already soaked panties now starting to leave a wet spot on your own pants, and she was growing more desperate with each second that passed.

you were quick to detect it, knowing exactly what she was craving for in that moment, taking the lead for the first time that night. “come on, ride my thigh,” you ordered as you patted your right leg, knowing that having just one of your thighs between her legs would cause her far more friction than simply rocking into your lap. the sudden switch in your tone of voice went straight to yunjin's core as more of her fluids gushed out. she weakly nodded and stood on her trembling knees, holding onto your bare shoulders and submissively following your order. you gripped her waist to keep her stable as she moved over to your thigh, carefully positioning herself. 

“fuck!” she exclaimed when you suddenly pulled her down onto your leg with force, the unexpected contact with her sensitive clit causing her to gasp loudly in response. her face contorted with pleasure as she began riding your thigh, her hips moving like waves, crashing and withdrawing in a rhythmic pattern. “oh–oh my god,” she moaned beautifully, letting out melodic sounds with each movement of her hips. “this feels so good,” the pleasure she was experiencing led her eyes to close tightly and her mouth to open. 

“good girl, keep moving,” you purred into her ear as your hands dragged her back and forth. her brain short-circuited at the name you gave her: she squirmed on top of you, her hips stuttering as a familiar sensation started to build inside her. she mewled in response; the commanding, dominant yunjin who had left you flustered just minutes ago was now a moaning mess under your touch. “ah— god” she threw her head back as she felt your thigh twitch and stiffen beneath her, providing the perfect solidity against her clit. 

as she continued to hump, your hands left her waist and slowly worked their way up to her chest, not without lightly scratching her skin, causing a burning sensation to spread beneath the surface. you began massaging and caressing her tits over her bra, lazily rubbing circles with your thumbs across the fabric. just the light pressure was enough for her to feel pleasure as more lewd sounds left her mouth. so it came as no surprise that, when you exposed her nipples and pinched them with your fingers, she let out a guttural scream. “fu-fuck–please, keep— ahh— keep doing that,” she begged as you twisted and pulled her sensitive buds.

her insides started to burn, a tight knot in her low abdomen indicated that her orgasm was near. “are you close?” you asked as you noticed her movements become sloppier and her moans rising in pitch. “y-yes, I— please— please let me come.” her voice trembled as she pleaded for your permission. as much as you wanted to tease her, to push her just a little further, you couldn’t resist and granted her request. “go ahead baby,” the moment you were done speaking you felt her body still in your hands, her back arched and her head thrown back. her vision faded to black as she reached her climax, a wave of pleasure washing over her as she cried out a mixture of curse words and little “thank you”s.

she collapsed into your arms, her body was now a limp weight pressed against your chest. her head nestled against your neck, her eyes closed as she focused on regaining the stable rhythm of her breath. you gently stroked her hair as a comfortable silence enveloped the two of you, the only sounds being the soft crackle of the candles and her breathing. the warmth of her body pressed against yours was like a gentle caress, a comforting embrace that made you melt into your seat. “can we stay like this for a bit?” she asked softly, her voice hoarse from all the moaning, and her arms tightened around you as she clung to your torso. “of course,” you replied, leaning your head over hers and caressing her back, savoring the closeness. “whatever you want.”

a/n: oof, this one was really long to write, I'm so sorry for the wait, guys, hope you like it!

[bgomtori]

☆ softcore - c.yj

synopsis - you were tired of yeonjun using you as someone he could just go to whenever he had a problem, but you can't seem to leave him.

-> yeonjun x reader

-> one-sided love, friends to lovers, angst(?), fluff

-> WARNING! slightly toxic friendship, yeonjun doesn't realise his feelings, kinda slowburn, yeonjun's a slight player and is kinda possessive, mentions of wooyoung from ateez + yuqi from gidle

-> NOTES! hi guys! i'm back? for a while hehe, im so sorry for not updating much, i've been losing motivation to write ever since last year :(

"she's ignoring me again yn, what should i do?" yeonjun groaned, burying his face into your shoulder as you tried to console him. you couldn't ignore the burning feeling you had in your heart, why were you still trying to reassure yeonjun even though he has made it obvious that he'd rather date other girls than you.

"shouldn't you just like drop her? she's been doing this for months and you're still trying to chase after her." you advised, pulling yeonjun away from your shoulder causing him to whine. your eyes met his, fuck you could feel your heart thumping against your chest. you hated yourself for constantly giving in, but you couldn't help it that he always show you affection through physical touch. yeonjun was confusing, you hated that he would always go to you whenever he wanted to, he barely even interacts with you in school, it felt as if you were just there in his life, nothing significant, just his little relationship therapist.

"i don't know, she's just so confusing.." yeonjun sighed, his head back onto your shoulder for comfort, you rubbed his back gently, staring blankly at the wall. "wait, why are you here again?" you asked, the words falling out of your mouth before you could even think. yeonjun looked at you shocked, "wait fuck no, i didn't mean it like that.. i, uhm." you meant exactly what you said, he was only at your apartment because he wanted girl advice, he's only cuddling you in bed because he needed relationship advice.

"i came to see you?" bullshit, if he wanted to see you he would have placed some time aside to hang with you in school, but he's always around entertaining other girl's needs. you were the other woman, nothing more, nothing less. "is there.. something wrong?" yeonjun asked, his hands laying on top of yours. you wanted to say that he was the root problem of what you were feeling, but at the same time it was your fault for falling for him.

"no, i'm fine, don't worry." you smiled at him, carressing his cheek. yeonjun leaned into your touch, nuzzling into your chest, hugging your waist tightly. you noticed that his breathing became more stable, soft snores escaping his mouth, he fell asleep. you stared at the wall behind him, why do you love torturing yourself like this.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"you're literally insane, look at him. last night he was literally sleeping in bed with you, then now he's hugging a new girl." yuqi, your best friend, glared in yeonjun's direction. you followed her eyes to where yeonjun was, you sighed into the palm of your hand. you felt so tired of his antics, it was a constant loop of giving yourself hope and breaking it almost immediately.

"you should give up honestly, it hurts me seeing you get played like that." yuqi suggested, sipping on the juice carton in her hand. you nibbled on your bread, you can't, if you gave up on him, you'd honestly break. he was like the sun, he brings light into your life, but he also drains your energy so much. you know that it was unhealthy, but he needed you as much as you needed him, you know that. however, yuqi was right, you're only hurting yourself more if you stayed by his side.

"i'll try to avoid him." you muttered out, you're going to regret it, but it's for the better.

"don't try, you have to." yuqi kicked your feet as you giggled, yea you will. you turned to your side, making eye contact with yeonjun, your eyes widened, quickly turning away, your face heating up almost instantly. this was going to be so tough.

after that conversation with yuqi, you distanced yourself from yeonjun, giving him excuses when he wants to hang out with you, you even started talking to wooyoung, one of the guys yuqi introduced you to. you told him about the thing you had with yeonjun, and he told you what anyone would have said. it was extremely toxic. you laughed it off awkwardly, pulling out your phone as you ate a fry you stole fron yuqi's tray.

yeonjun : today? can you hang? i miss you.

yn : can't today, i'm hanging out with my friends.

yeonjun : oh, ok.

you felt bad, but you had to follow through your plan, giving in to him will make you look weak.

on the other hand, yeonjun noticed that you've been avoiding him, he couldn't help but feel slightly jealous over the fact that you're getting closer to everyone else but him. he feels like you're disappearing from his grasp, he doesn't want that to happen, he doesn't want to lose you as well, he could lose anyone but you. he didn't even realise his feeling for you until recently when you started drifting from him.

"you actually like yn? like LOVE?" beomgyu gasped, yeonjun has never confessed any true feelings to him before, all of yeonjun's past relationships were half assed. yeonjun nodded his head, covering his face to save him the embarrassment beomgyu was about to give him.

"that's crazy, i saw this coming but you were too stupid fucking around other girls." beomgyu cupped his face, sipping on his americano, looking at yeonjun dead in the eye.

"shut up, i'll try talking to her later." yeonjun rolled his eyes at beomgyu, leaving the cafe without him. yeonjun tapped onto your chat, comtemplating on whether he should text you or not, it was getting late, knowing you, you were probably home already.

yeonjun : you home right now?

yn : yea why?

yeonjun : cool, see you at the park nearby in 10.

yn : what?

he left you on read, he didn't want to explain further, it was better if he told you in real life. he sat on one of the benches at the park, waiting for you.

"what do you want?" you voice suddenly sounded beside yeonjun, causing him to jump in surprise. yeonjun immediately placed his phone back into his pocket, patting the seat next to him. you sat next to him, you couldn't ignore the way your heart was racing either due to how close you were to him, or how nervous you were.

"why have you been avoiding me?" yeonjun asked, his eyes fixed on your face. "huh?" you stuttered, your hands getting clammy, you didn't expect this meeting to be a confrontation.

"did i do something wrong? i can fix myself, just tell me what i did wrong." you scoffed at his statement, was he really asking you this question right now?

"am i a fucking joke to you?"

"what?"

"is our friendship a joke to you? you only find me relevent in your life when some girl gives you an issue. one second you're all clingy to me, and the next you're all distant, talking to multiple girls like i'm a toy." you snapped, tears forming in your eyes, you were done with him, did he think that you were stupid?

"yn–" you pushed yourself off the bench, looking at yeonjun who looked like a kicked puppy, "if you don't have anything else to say, i'm leaving." you quickly walked away, wiping away the tears you finally let loose, you were sobbing. it hurts, you hated this, you hated yeonjun for making you feel like this, you felt humiliated for suddenly bursting like that.

unexpectedly, you felt someone tug on your wrist, pulling you into a warm embrace. your eyes widened, immediately pulling yourself away from yeonjun's grasp. "what are you doing?" you grumbled, pushing him away as you sniffled.

"i'm sorry." yeonjun apologised, his eyes on the ground, not batting you an eye.

"are you serious?" you pursed your lips, not buying into his apology.

"yes i am, i'm really sorry, i can't forgive myself for making you cry, i'll stop, i'll improve myself for you. just, don't leave me, i can't lose you too." yeonjun apologised sincerely, his eyes never leaving yours. you stood rooted to the ground before his arms engulfed you, giving you a bone-crushing hug. the tight hug you've always wanted from him, it felt so comforting, his scent was home to you, sobs escaped from your mouth, unable to respond to yeonjun's statement.

"can we restart? i'll treat you better, trust me." yeonjun rubbed the back of your hair, in hopes of getting a response from you.

"i hate you." you said in between sobs, peeling yourself away from yeonjun's grip, wiping the tears you had on your face. yeonjun laughed at your words, grabbing your hand as he pulled you towards your apartment.

"i'm staying over tonight, you don't mind right?" yeonjun asked, his thumb grazing over your knuckles every now and then. "no.." you mumbled, butterflies filling your stomach while following yeonjun closely. yeonjun smiled to himself before he started running, dragging you behind him. maybe staying by his side forever won't be a bad thing anymore.

[dceasesd]

why juni ba’s the boy wonder has my favorite jason characterization of any contemporary comic run: a needlessly in-depth analysis (pt.3)

go check out part 1 and part 2 if you'd like! this is a long one, sorry guys.

if you haven't already i'd recommend you check out pt. 1 & pt. 2 (linked above), but if you haven't checked them out i've been going over some of the main things people have been criticizing ba's characterization for: 1. the typical boiling down of jason's character to "the angry one" 2. his lack of strategy going into the fight with the demon is out-of-character 3. the neighbor's kid interaction

alright, so this last point is purely based off of one page of the entire comic: the one where the child of one of jason's neighbors is dragged inside his home when his mother see's jason coming.

first off, i love this page. it might be my favorite page in the entire issue. everything about it is great. just thought i needed to say that.

anyway, there's some people who are seeing this page and reading it as "jason protects kids! that's one of his big things! why are they scared of him?"

here's the thing, though: the kid isn't scared of jason, the mom is. the kid is literally playing dress up as the red hood-- he's not scared of jason, if anything he's trying to replicate him. little kids dress up as their heroes all the time; why is this kid any different? it doesn't really make sense for the kid to dress up of something he's scared of (not everyone is as weird bruce wayne), especially a real person that could be a real threat rather than a concept. i doubt you see many kids in gotham dressing up as the joker or something, because that's just asking for trouble.

the dress-up honestly seems like a ploy for attention to me. the kid clearly knows that red hood lives in his building (which is honestly so funny. take off the mask jason you're giving you're position away (actually this is a really good instance for analysis but i'm determined to not go on a tangent)). if the kid knows red hood lives in his building, what better way to get his attention that dressing up as him and playing pretend? if the kid was scared of him, he wouldn't want to draw that sort of attention to himself. if he had a sort of hero-worshippy thing going on like i suspect, then he would want to get jason's attention. to sum it up,

it's the mom who pulls him away when jason nears, because she either a) perceives him as a threat, b) doesn't want her kid to try and replicate him even more, or, the most likely option, both! the kid isn't scared of him, but the mother believes they should be.

once again, we come back to the whole perception vs. reality theme i talked about in part one! we've come full circle, everyone!

when looking at the neighborhood's perspective of the red hood, ba gives us a few contradictory examples. there's the kid and the mother, obviously, but there's also a slew of other citizens who interact with him at the beginning of the issue, both in fear and camaraderie.

the unhoused man and the people outside of his building clearly have a familiarity and are comfortable with him, while the shopkeeper is terrified and literally has a banned poster on his wall featuring jason (i am so curious what he did to deserve that, if he even did anything at all). from this, it appears that jason's reputation teeters between fearful and familiar-- a sentiment that also colors jason's relationship with his family.

furthermore, this concept underscores just how lonely jason is-- one of the only good relationships he had in his current life was his fucking landlord, for gods sake, and he's dead.

i think it's important to note that jason doesn't respond to the friendly greetings from the men-- he could attempt to build camaraderie, the roots are there, but he chooses not to. he could work to try and show the mother that her son is safe with him, but he chooses not to. why? jason is obviously lonely (as ba states in the panel below) and he caves pretty easily when damian asks him for help (both of them are so desperate for human interaction its tragic). so why does he distant himself from the community?

obviously it is in part due to the vigilante lifestyle, but it is also jason's perception of himself and how he believes others perceive him, especially in regards to his family (ba is literally hitting readers in the head with that theme baseball bat).

he doesn't see that the kid with the mask looks up to him, all he sees is the mother pulling him away. he sees the banned poster in the store. and, as ba narrates, "he was sure he'd been forgotten about" by his family. utrh is jason's twisted way of attempting to reach out and connect with bruce, and obviously that doesn't work-- so he chooses loneliness over rejection.

like in part one, though, damian refutes this idea by describing bruce's perspective, showing how what jason believes differs from actuality. bruce hasn't forgotten about him and doesn't hate him, as he suspected, but instead harbors guilt over the situation and desires to make it better, which jason must come to understand to be able to open the locked door and begin to move past his trauma.

so, that's what the little kid in the red hood outfit looks like to me. i actually have a lot more i'd like to say about the boy wonder, especially in regards to the whole "door to my past life" thing and what ba does with lighting and blocking in his artwork, so i may do a little post on that as well! i was gonna try and shove it into this one, but i've run out of room! i hope you guys liked my analysis, if you'd like to chat about the boy wonder or any other comics, my dms, asks, and reblogs are happily open! thanks for reading! :)) <3

pt. 1 / pt. 2

[thebroccolination]

Hi Key, your post is the second I've seen that hinted at Joss but without further explanation. He generally has a positive public perception and I only know him from 3WBF (which I liked), so I'm curious where this shift in perception is coming from recently.

Would you mind making a post or directing me to where I can learn more about his general...situation.

I apologize if this is intrusive since I know you don't like to engage in Fandom Drama and like to keep your space positive, but I don't have XTwitter and his Tumblr tag is usually quite dead.

Thank you in advance!

Why I Don't Fuck with Joss: An Extremely Academic Essay of Words and Screenshots

Hi Anon!

I normally would have DM'd you an answer to this, but since you sent the ask anonymously and you were very kind in how you asked, I didn't want to ignore you.

However, two things:

I do generally make it a policy to keep my negative personal thoughts about certain actors to private conversations or, y'know, Discord servers, just to keep it off public platforms where toxicity is already rampant. In this case, though, I think the situation is interesting enough to comment on. (Plus, y'know, I'm amazed he was even managing a comeback when he's been known to Be Like This for years.)

I didn't get a lot of primary sources for this post because quite frankly I don't like Joss and I don't want to look at his face any more than I already have. However, friends who've been following this more closely than I have were able to verify that there are sources out there for everything I'm going to mention. Just, y'know, don't use me or this post as a source. This isn't one of my Citations Included Posts, this is just a Why I Don't Fuck with This Guy Post.

So, for context, I made this post last month, and someone made a more explicitly worded reblog here that's honestly better if you're going in without any context.

Essentially, Joss has had a dodgy reputation for years, but I think because fan turnover is high in interfandom and he's never been in a BL series before, most interfans just know Joss as A Tall Man Who Likes Sportsball.

But when I got into Thai BL back in 2020, Joss was one of the first actors I heard of as ~Problematique~ so I looked into him, and what I learned made me go, "Ew," so I just keenly ignored him from then on. (General gross stuff like the Domundi boob-grabbing prank and some assorted Dudebro comments about women. I don't remember specifics anymore because he was barely on my radar, but a friend at the time who'd been in fandom longer basically told me, "Yeah, that's Joss, lol.")

Interestingly, before JossGawin became a thing, most interfans were rooting for JossLuke, but I think given how vocally left-leaning Luke has proven to be, I wouldn't be surprised if Luke saw the prospect of tying his public reputation to Joss and went, "lol no goddamn thank you."

Gawin, on the other hand, seems to be down for whatever GMMTV wants him to do, so he probably just sees Joss as a colleague he makes out with (acting is a weird job). He went to high school in western Pennsylvania, he has white relatives on his dad's side, and he hangs out with the Gym Dudes of GMMTV, so I'm sure he's completely desensitized and is one of those guys who thinks, "Nah," but doesn't go so far as to say, "Not cool, dude." The Gawin Caskey Method seems to be: throw a basketball, make out with a dude on camera, go home and eat an edible. Dismount.

Unfortunately, even though Gawin's never really made any political statements or taken any major stand for the queer community, he's gained goodwill that some people are now calling into question because of Joss.

Anyway, apparently Joss used to follow Andrew Tate on Twitter until Tate was suspended, so it seems a lot of people assumed Joss unfollowed Tate, but yeah, between the sexist comments, Boobgate, and admiring Joe Rogan, that was enough for me to physically recoil from the screen when I saw the teaser for MGB.

Okay NOW, everything from this point onward is new stuff I've learned over the past month that made me go, "Oh. So he's worse now."

Joss has apparently had that Joe Rogan quote pinned to his Twitter account since 2020, but people just shrugged it off because they like his man stomach or something? (I don't find him attractive, but even if I did, I truly don't understand how he made it this far. It feels like he's been pretty firmly canceled every year since I got here, honestly.)

I also didn't like him weight-shaming Gawin. There's some older clip of him calling Gawin fat, and I know in Asia it's more common to comment on other people's bodies and weight, but I also recently found out that he got Gawin a meat cake for his birthday because idk actual cake is for pussies? (Sorry, Anon, I was trying to aim for an objective tone but I abandoned it because I reeeally don't like this man.) And apparently a lot of JG fanservice is just Joss and Gawin at the gym so Joss can teach Gawin self-control or something? I've had their tag blocked from the beginning, so you'll have to look into that if you're curious.

Ah, and at some point in the last few months, Joss was apparently asked what his "type" is and he said something like "white, skinny English-speaking Europeans/Americans"(?) Which apparently made Asian women go, "Hey, c'mere real quick: good. Bye."

I also thought it was a huge red flag that Joss has been in the industry for years, and his domestic fanbase is still quite small. Others have pointed out that very few fan interactions with him are in Thai, and he's clearly courting a western audience both in his individual engagement and by partnering with a mixed American actor. When he did the LGBTQ+ panel last summer, apparently the reaction from Thai commenters was, "lmao why Joss?" not, "Oh yes, of course, Joss!"

So it seems like GMMTV has been trying to do a rebrand for Joss using Gawin and interfans more generally since Joss speaks English and interfans don't generally seek out the resources to do research. Remember last year when GMMTV announced that Y-MIND script competition? It was originally domestic only, but after Thai fans overwhelmingly went, "The contract terms here are wildly exploitative, so fuck off," GMMTV rereleased the promotional material in English and went, "HEY INTERFANS WANNA SEND US STUFF :D?"

That told me they really don't think especially highly of us.

On December 15th, someone pointed out that Joss didn't just follow Trump on Twitter, he also followed a ton of extreme alt-right accounts on Instagram. Not normal political figures, either. Obscure figures like Pearl, Candace Owens, that guy who was saying Your Body My Choice, and Andrew Tate's right-hand man, and more! Some of his fans tried to point out that he follows progressive Thai politicians, but as far as the American side, he only followed alt-right conservative accounts with zero liberal accounts.

Though, in fairness, someone did point out that Joss also follows famous progressive Democratic figures [checks notes] comedian Chris Rock and basketball player Stephen Curry.

So. Whoohoo for that, amirite?

Since Joss's fans weren't having much success defending him on their own, they threw some @'s at his account to get him to make some kind of statement that would somehow explain away why he was following a deep, deep alt-right fanatic like Pearl. (Spoiler: He didn't.)

The JossGawin International fan club even released the above statement to address the issue, then received such alarmingly vitriolic backlash from the JossGawin fandom for "betraying" Joss that the fanclub decided to deactivate entirely. (I have no idea if they reactivated or not, since I stopped keeping up with this whole debacle shortly afterward.)

One Thai(?) JossGawin fan actually seems to have used ChatGPT to create an English comment to chastise the fanclub for their lack of support in Joss's dire times:

Amusingly, rather than address his fans' concerns or unfollow any of the accounts causing the chaos, Joss instead just started deleting any comment on his Instagram that called on him to comment.

Five days later, he unfollowed 137 accounts. No idea how many of those were alt-right extremists and how many were just extra padding to make it look like a general cleanse, but it was at least fifty last I heard, and the fact that 1) it took him nearly a week to do anything but delete the comments calling him out, and 2) his first tweet after this whole mess was a quote-retweet of GMMTV's message welcoming Barcode into the company saying, "lol this kid looks like if me and Gawin had a baby" just goes to show how unthreatened he feels.

After all, Joss has been this way for years, and his upcoming series with Gawin is probably going to do numbers regardless. He's successfully rebuilt his stagnant career off the support of interfans, and he knows he'll be fine.

Even Foei has a show with Tay! We're all good here. \:D/

So yeah! That's why I don't fuck with Joss. \:D/

This'll be the last I say on Joss publicly.

I just figured I'd make one all-encompassing post so I can link back to this in case anyone asks why I'm not supporting any of Gawin's projects with Joss. It's a shame because I do really like Gawin, but this isn't even a hard choice for me to make.

Oh, and while we're on the subject: the director of MGB, Ark, is also Not a Good Dude by all accounts I've heard from multiple people who've interacted with him privately. I mean, he sure is queer, but he's also said to be a misogynist with some white-people-worshipping tendencies. He doesn't have the highest opinion of BL fandom in general, either, especially when you look back on his whole direction of IT'S NOT A BL Shadow. Just, y'know, another reminder that queer people aren't Virtuous or Evil by nature. We're a big ole clusterfuck of nuance, so you don't have to support MGB for Ark just because he's a queer man. I have zero proof that I can share publicly, so you don't have to take my word for it. Just, y'know, in case you were on the fence, I've heard he's a dick.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go write absolutely filthy gay porn to purify myself from writing Joss's name so many times.

[pixiatn]

Returning to my old roots of being the CEO of Duke/Danny

Honestly surprised there's not much fics pulling from the Ultimate Enemy Timeline, and I'm talking Abt post semi redeemed Dan, or Danny's friends and fam die but he doesn't go evil just traumatically runs away, id like to see an in the middle concept. Like post him becoming full ghost but pre him becoming Dan.

Now being a full ghost and a powerful one at that, Danny's chaotic destructive ass makes a beeline straight for Gotham due to its raw supernatural energy that he's heard rumors about from peeps in the Ghost zone. And his ass goes there to chomp on weaker/blob ghosts (idk if it was said how Dan got powerful like that so I'm making shit up)

Like usually some people who see him do this are like "omgee, new hero/protector!!" And he just hisses and vanishes, bro has reached cryptid poltergeist status. he doesn't care about saving people cause that's LAME, and he DOESN'T DO THAT ANYMORE, cause it's LAME, but he doesn't admit that deep, deep, DEEP down, there's a flicker of humanity that buzzes with warmth at being recognized as a protector again

Batfam is obviously suspicious of this deeply suspicious and mistrusting ghost guy but Duke has a bit more of an open minded thinking bro is going through a metahuman crisis and wants to help because there's not a lot of open metahumans in Gotham (that aren't evil) and wants to offer some sort of guidance before the intricate web of evil catches him.

So Duke is investigating Danny on his own, trying to learn more about ghosty dude and how he can find him or help him, eventually learning about the GIW and their attempt to enact anti-ecto laws which by association would allow them to experiment ghost/specter powered metahumans. As well as wanting to take them down, he also wants to find out if they have anything about the Ghost boy he's investigating.

While casually breaking into one of their facilities in Gotham, he finds a group of scientists in the middle of beginning some type of ghost dissection on Danny while hes still awake and thrashing, so as one does, Duke proceeds to jump everyone. In the scuffle, Danny gets freed and is about to escape but actually sticks around to start beating everyone's ass with Duke.

Duke guides Danny out of the building and before he can even say anything, Danny hisses and vanishes. Duke sighs at the loss of his investigations victim but finds himself being almost stalked by the ghost. Dried ectoplasm smeared above doorways which only he can see because of his perception of light, electronics being finicky around him, being surrounded by a cold air, and a whole bunch of semi threatening gestures

Unknown to Duke, this is Danny trying to befriend him aggressively due to kinda forgetting how to do it normally