#the ones that are like link? my memory is pretty bad
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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year ago
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If there's one thing I like more than time travel it's crossover reincarnation, so.
Botk link reincarnated as Damian Wayne.
An incredible weapon master of all types, but especially prodigious with a sword - he was beating knights at the age of 4 and with his memories as intact as they get for him I can see that goalpost moving even further (probably with traps and tricks, a 3yo doesn't exactly have great bodily control).
He's an excellent survivalist, agile, strong, durable, cunning and creative. He can move like a feather in the breeze, strike from behind with ease. His first kill, an animal, did not stir him as it did the other children. With his poise, grace, skills, obedience, he ought to be ra'as' finest assassin in the making, a jewel in the crown of the league.
Except he never speaks a word. Half his targets escape unscathed. He skates by true punishment on the merit of his skills and achievements in other missions. Testing has shown it is not a physical deformity that prevents his speech, but not even talia has been able to coaxe a word from him past his second birthday.
It is a defect ra'as is growing more and more frustrated by, as each attempt to fix these two final flaws ends in resounding failure. Less extreme solutions are running dry.
Talia fears those solutions. Her child does too, she knows. For them, there is a possible solution, more extreme than anything ra'as would tolerate.
She sends him out of the league. To his father.
To Gotham.
#'gee phoenix that sure sounds like that dp x dc you're normally rattling on about' yeah lol I steal tropes and sell them on the black market#Anyway this has been slowly rotisserie-ing in my head for a while I just like shaking canon like a magic 8 ball#I'd love to explore how link would react to Gotham and how he might see getting suddenly dumped in a found family as the youngest#And how that contrasts with both his expectations in the league and his role as the saviour last hope of a whole country#Because that kid cannot have a modern interpretation of killing. Like monsters? Kill with prejudice loot the corpses.#The yiga might have a little more hindsight understanding and he never killed them anyway but zero hesitation blowing them up#And ganon is so far removed from the concept of 'killing is bad' because a) human??? Monster??? B) literally the problem#C) he's been killing people so it'd even out d) everyone wants him dead So Bad e) been killed already like a dozen times what's one more#I get the feeling he'd assign the same role to the joker like 'widely considered the source of all evil. 'died' several times and came back#personal source of absolute misery for several heroes. Killed many' = slay the monster. Straightforward.#Like yes link always chooses kindness and has a strong morality and Opinion on killing people it's just a lot would be solved#By hitting the joker until he stopped making life miserable for everyone and if that means permanently well that's kind of link's job.#And like with Jason the bats understand that a lot better than they pretend to. But that is a 10yo who should not be thinking like that.#I think it'd be interesting to see how that'd change their reactions to 'Damian'. Like he holds a very similar opinion to og and Jason he#Just goes about it completely differently.#And I'd love to explore the differences between two fictional worlds and how they can go from pretty much the most black/white morality#To probably one of the greyest areas while still holding near identical themes and methods of dealing with that.#Found family compassion as a weapon against evil and copious amounts of weapons and cool gear lol#Also link should keep the arm he's earned it. Reincarnating with all his memories knocked a few other things loose I'd imagine#Mostly because all the loz games I've played have absolutely altered the way I view any link and also I love referencing them.#Damian with telekinesis and infinite glue would be great. A tiny 10yo sword master choosing instead to drop a dumpster on you#In between hurt comfort link beginning to bond with his family and begin to speak and learn sign language from cass#There's also the sound of explosives and a small figure clinging to a flying door as it crosses the Gotham night skies#Speaking of cass I bet her and link would be great friends in this au.#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#loz au#Loz#loz totk
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turtlemagnum · 1 month ago
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god, i suck at mario 2. i'm disparaging my legacy.... seriously, how the fuck have i beaten the lost levels without save states but can't get past 1-3 in american mario 2???? why am i not instantly good at a game i've never really played, god!!!! my mother would be disappointed in me
post writing the tags turtle here: i started rambling about my childhood made the tags longer than the actual post and don't feel like putting them onto the actual post because that'd be too much work and i'm feeling lazy. read em if you want personal bullshit! or don't. i'm not care
#one of the few luxuries we had growing up was a super nintendo#it was pretty much exclusively my mom's. and some of my earliest memories are watching her play super mario all stars and a link to the pas#she only specifically ever played mario 2 and 3. i never saw mario 1 or the lost levels as a kid#guess they're not as replayable to her. she says she's beaten both once#for some reason i remember playing a fair amount of donkey kong country. we had all 3 of them#i think as a kid i got farthest in the 3rd one? always got weird vibes from that one but it was still fun#growing up *my* home console was an N64. mom didn't really like it for whatever reason so it usually lived in my room#i still remember buying majora's mask from a toy store that's not in business anymore. i think that was one of my only games that wasn't a#hand-me-down. i think it was that and turok rage wars#as far as i remember everything else was given by a relative or a relative's boyfriend or something#still don't know where a lot of them went#i used to have the tony hawk games on there. and i think i remember gex? i think those were my cousins boyfriends stuff#i guess he took em back at some point#last i heard about that cousin she was in jail wacked out on drugs#i remember her boyfriend being a good guy. i think she got him on drugs or something. bad influence i guess#i hope he's doing better now. as an adult i'd say he's too good for her#or maybe i'm just nostalgic for one of the only positive male figures i had as a child. hell if i know#tags are now longer than the actual post. i don't feel like movin em to the post now. too much work#oh well! such is life#or as the franch say... Say Luh V!#i hope reading that made a francophone physically hurt. i hope they feel pain because of me#sorry that's not very nice. i'm not gonna delete that though.
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hooved · 2 years ago
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every single day i experience symptoms of ocd and every single day i'm somehow surprised by it
#one example being when i'm getting ready to go to sleep#i literally have to scroll through my dash until i find a picture that doesn't give me some kind of anxiety#can't leave the screen on a picture of this sloppy red cake batter because it looks vaguely gorey and what if i die in some gorey accident#can't leave the screen on a picture of a cat because what if my cat dies tomorrow#can't leave the screen on a picture of a beautiful field with a yellowy filter on it because it makes me think of some kinda movie scene#where someone is recalling pleasant memories on their death bed#can't leave it on a picture of fire because what it my house burns down in my sleep#can't leave it on a picture of a graveyard for obvious reasons etc. etc.#there's always something. everything links to death with me and i can't go to sleep with any of it on my screen because it's ''''bad luck''#or whatever the fuck#but a picture of like some cute colorful patterns or a silly little doll or some cool clothes ? well that's alright i guess :)#i experience other ocd symptoms but that's the one that always makes me go woah wtf ???? i have ocd ????#edit: remembering a few years ago when i started getting really really bad fears relating to my ribs. ribs in general#and every time i lied down i had to make sure my ribs were perfectly lined up with each other ?#and my ribs are already pretty misshapen so it took. a long time to do that#and i'd toss and turn and freak out and get so scared and frustrated and cry. they had to be lined up#because the fact that your ribs can move and sometimes one side is further back or further forward or whatever scared me so much#i'm like mostly over that now. i don't do that anymore but. weird how i didn't think that was an ocd thing back then lmao
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mouwrites · 8 months ago
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Thinking thoughts about these guys again
Creepypasta/MH - Things That Make Them Think of You
Characters: Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, Clockwork, Nina the Killer, Tim/Masky, "Ticci" Toby
Jeff the Killer
Violence. Specifically, committing it
I know that sounds bad, but he gets so high off of that stuff
The adrenaline rushing through his veins, the wild smile that comes to his face, the noise, the sights... it's euphoria for him
And when he reaches his peak, endorphins at maximum saturation, that's when he thinks of you
It's almost like he subconsciously asks himself if there's anything in the world that could make him happy like this, and his subconscious responds by conjuring an image of you
As if he couldn't get any happier, thinking of you just pushes him higher
This happens a lot...
He'll be killing someone, already over the moon, then he'll blast to Mars when he thinks of you
And he starts associating you with violence; even if you're the gentlest person in the world
It's the happiness it brings him that links it to you
Though if you're a psycho (affectionate) like him, there might be another reason he associates it with you lol
It just gets worse over time; eventually he can't even see other people committing violent acts without thinking of you
He'll be watching a horror movie, and blood will splatter the screen and he'll be like: Nice. Y/n's nice too. Y/n... <3
Jane the Killer
Quite the opposite of Jeff; it's the quiet moments that get her thinking of you
(my reasoning is confusing but I'll try my best to explain T-T)
And there are two reasons for this
One, because whenever she gets a moment to think to herself, her brain always wants to think of you first
Maybe it's just hunting that hit of dopamine it gets when she imagines your smile, or the way your hands feel in hers...
Or maybe it's just that it's become a habit for her to think of you so often, so it's second-nature that she does so when she gets the chance
But the second reason is that she loves peace, and you are her peace :)
She's a vengeful person with a lot of turmoil inside, so when her environment is peaceful, she tries to follow suit
She's just taking what she can get before she has to go back to hate and obsession
So she imagines the peaceful things in her life
Namely, you
Even if you're not a very peaceful person, she feels at ease when she's with you
So, when it's quiet, she thinks of you to quiet herself
Memories of forehead touches and holding hands are more than enough to fill the silence :)
Clockwork
Literally everything.
I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but Clockwork will find the most random things that remind her of you
She’s got a very creative mind; she can find the subtlest of things that make her think of you
Oftentimes they’ll be disturbing things…. Like a dead animal or smth
But she gets a little smile when she thinks of you anyway :)
She’ll probably send you a picture of whatever it was that reminded her of you
So you’ll just get a text out of nowhere like:
[picture of a dead wasp] “thought of you <3”
After a while you’ll learn to just not ask
Because you’ll definitely get one of these texts AT LEAST every other day, if not every day
Sometimes they’re actually nice things though! Like a song or a pretty sunset :)
Or something she saw while shopping that made her think of you; she always makes sure to steal …obtain those things
And ofc she gifts them to you 😌
Nina the Killer
I think it depends on your aesthetic
To me, Nina is someone who’s very in tune with aesthetics
Even if yours is super niche, or it doesn’t fit under a specific category like “emo” or “butch” or even “clowncore,” she’s got it DOWN
And so it’s always things that fit your aesthetic that make her think of you
Maybe it’s a view: a dark forest, a bright sunset in your favorite color, a sunny park, an eerily empty sidewalk…
Maybe it’s clothing: pants, shirts, dresses, jackets… always the exact kind of thing you’d wear :)
Maybe it’s music: she listens to music like. All the time. So she’s definitely at least dipped her toes into a genre that’s so totally you
Or maybe it’s something miscellaneous: a pop tart flavor, a blanket, a picture, the color on a soda dispenser…
No matter what it is, you’re guaranteed to love it
She always manages to surprise you with yet another random thing perfectly suited to your aesthetic
And she’s always on the hunt for more >;)
If it’s something she can physically bring to you, you best believe she will though
And if you decide you hate it (you won’t, but maybe later when your aesthetic changes), you guys light a bonfire and burn it together :)
Tim/Masky
It’s a Polaroid picture of you
He’s not in the picture; it’s just you
The flash is on, illuminating you and leaving the background in dark obscurity
He took it himself one night when he was just enamored with the way you looked
He did it casually, just telling you to look at the camera
The rest was all you; maybe you smiled, maybe you threw up a peace sign…
Whatever you did, he felt it captured your essence perfectly
He stared at the photo for a long time after it came out, and he still stares at it frequently
He carries it deep in his wallet where no one can find it
He’ll pull it out when he needs to think of you, usually when he’s especially down
Which is pretty often, my boy is troubled :(
He’ll trace his fingers around the edges, remembering that night
Your voice fills his ears, your scent fills his nose, and suddenly he’s aching to see you in person again
And he will; he’ll probably call or text you soon :)
“Ticci” Toby
Honestly? Probably something super obscure related to some kind of inside joke between you two
I’ll paint an example
Maybe you two were in the kitchen together, and you wanted him to get out the milk for you
But you ended up calling it a “mug of jilk” instead of a “jug of milk”
Toby, of course, bursts into laughter
He teases you for ages afterwards, calling milk “jilk” and always pointing out jugs of milk with a knowing grin
You’re in on it too though
You always snicker whenever he does those things
Maybe that’s why it becomes so special to him; it amuses the both of you
He gets to laugh and hear you laugh :D
So (in this case) he’ll think of you whenever he sees a mug of j (oh gosh oh no you guys got me too) jug of milk
And he probably takes pictures to send you too
You’ll just get a text that says “jilk mugs spotted ‼️” and a picture of the milk aisle at the grocery store
He likes to imagine your laugh when he sends texts like those :)
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Thank you so much for reading!! Take care my lovey doves <33
(divider by saradika)
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skzdarlings · 10 months ago
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sharing a bed ; seungmin ; sequel
masterlist.
original one-shot.
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pairing: kim seungmin/reader content info: sexual content. enemies2lovers. sequel to sharing a bed one-shot linked above. morning afters. running from feelings. making reader jealous. confrontation with a creep and light violence. sexual content includes blow-jobs, hand jobs, strap-on blowjobs, 69ing, rimming, pegging, light choking. some brat seungmin and sort of brat tamer reader (kinda just likes the brat lol). word count: 7k.
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Kim Seungmin, the perpetual thorn in your side and ache in your head, is torturing you. 
Not the fun kind of torture, either.   You had your fill of that two nights ago when a silly scheme resulted in a horny happenstance and you let yourself get carried away.  Your careful control not only slipped, but fell right into the hands of someone you once disliked. 
It left you befuddled in the light of the day, when you woke to Seungmin curled around you, his cheek pressing into your bicep and his leg hooked around yours.  Not to mention his morning wood digging into your hip.  It surfaced memories of the pretty and unexpected piercing you found there, how your idea of this guy was so so wrong.  And it made you wonder what else you were wrong about, and all the ways this burgeoning something could go wrong in turn.   Your thoughts spiralled. 
You were no longer handcuffed, so you slipped out of bed and walked right out the front door.  You hoped a walk through the brisk winter morning would help clear your mind.  It did, but only momentarily.  When you got back to the vacation house and ran into Seungmin, you fumbled.  Badly.  You meant to be pragmatic but came across dismissive.  Something about how last night was the only night.  Something about how you were bad at commitments.  Something about being better off friends. 
Seungmin was silent the whole time, letting you ramble like an idiot.  Then his eyes narrowed and he laughed.  It was an airy, unpleasant, and derisive sound.    
“Trust me,” he said.  “We will never be friends.” 
“Well, fine,” you said, bristling despite the fact you were the one rejecting him.  What did you care if he hated you again?  You didn’t.  You shouldn’t.  “Good.”
It was not good.  Saying it left a sour taste in your mouth and a pit in your stomach. 
And despite it all, your stupid horny hindbrain did not relent, purring like a kitten when Seungmin gave you a judgemental once-over and scoffed.   You could not help but remember the very different noises he made last night, again and again, in your hands and mouth, from your actions and words. 
You will never look at him the same way again.  You have no idea how to move forward, but you know you can never go back.  Pretending nothing happened will not work for once.   
It freaks you out.  You are usually good at shucking attachments.  His cold acceptance should not have hurt.  What did you care?  This vacation would end and you would go back to your own lives, right?   So you let Seungmin shove past you.  He ignored you for the rest of the day.  When he started an argument later, causing everyone else to groan, you replied like always, but it was half-hearted at best.   
Oh god, you think now, rubbing the bridge of your nose, I can’t start thinking with my damn heart. 
Emotional attachments and long-term romantic liaisons never turn out well.  You cut a dashing figure but your many flaws eventually find their way to the surface.  It is not worth the inevitable heartbreak when someone sees under the charming mask to the real you.   
Rather than suffer later, you are suffering now, brooding over a beer while doing your damnest to not look across the bar.  You know you will not like what you see. 
You and your friends only have a couple more nights at the vacation lodge, so you all went down to the nearby resort to drink and dance and enjoy a fun night out. 
You are not having any fun, of course.  You are sitting on a bar stool, all alone at the counter, in your signature leather jacket as you hunch over your drink and glare at nothing in particular. 
Seungmin, on the other hand, is suddenly a dazzling socializer rather than an obnoxious stuck-up jerk like he used to be.  You expected him to sit in a corner, making snarky remarks all night, but instead he has been moving from person to person, flirting with anything that breathes. 
He is also wearing an obscene pair of jeans.  No one else in the friend group seemed to notice, not a single eye so much as twitching in his direction, but you noticed.  Oh, yeah, you fucking noticed.  The second he came bounding the stairs, swinging on a stupid baggy letterman jacket like the twerpy little prep he is.  His dark hair neatly combed, bangs swept off his forehead, brightening his gaze. 
The jeans.  The stupid fucking jeans.  Straight-cut denim that has absolutely no business cupping his ass the way it does.  And why does he have such a nice ass anyway?  It also has no business looking that way. 
Kim Seungmin.  What a nightmare. 
You take a swig of beer and glare at the wall.  You tell yourself not to look at him.  He is probably leaning over some equally prissy knob and offering to buy them a glass of milk or whatever people like them drink. 
So, no.  You will not give him the satisfaction.  It is no coincidence that in all the time you have known him, Seungmin has never  been flirtatious or promiscuous, but the second you turn him down he is slobbering all over anything that moves. 
You will not let him get to you.  You will not look at him.  You will not react. 
Except he is already getting to you.  So you look over.  You react. 
“For fuck’s sake,” you grumble, abandoning your beer and stomping down from your stool. 
Seungmin is huddled in a booth with some colossal bitch of a man.  You recognize him from the other night, remembering how much time he spent harassing the bar staff.  Seungmin doesn’t know that.  He might be your enemy – or whatever – but you are not gonna leave the guy with that kind of jerk.  And you are not secretly thrilled that you are justified in storming over there, drawing up to the table with all the aggression that has been building inside you. 
You slap a hand on the table, bringing their attention to you.  Seungmin gives you a once-over, then smiles that stupid smile of his, all boxy and puppyish, like you are the funniest punchline to the funniest joke in the world.  There was a time you used to fantasize about swiping that smile off his mouth.  You are still thinking about occupying his mouth, just not like that. 
“Move along,” you say to the creep. 
“Excuse me?” 
He is already drunk.  You can smell it as much as see it.  Seungmin is looking very smug and you start to feel like he picked this guy on purpose. 
Seungmin drives you crazy, he really does.  One second he is all good boy, the next he is purposefully throwing himself at a creep just to get a rise out of you.  You feel like he would take a running leap off the mountainside if he was inclined to a prove a point to someone.  He is fearless and ridiculous and you want to hate him.  You want him to be the boring two-dimensional snob you thought he was.  You have no idea what to do with the complicated man in front of you. 
That’s a lie, you think, meeting his gaze.  You know exactly what to do with him.
You swear his eyes are twinkling.  He slouches back comfortably, arms crossed. 
“I told you once,” you say, tearing your gaze from him to look at the creep.  “Now move along.” 
“Try me.” 
The guy was only bothering women and seems uninterested in Seungmin so you suspect he just wants to piss you off, but then he puts a hand on him anyway, grabbing Seungmin by the arm so suddenly that it surprises him. 
Before Seungmin can shake him off, you snatch the guy by his wrist and twist.  He yelps, struggling to wrestle his arm back from your iron grip.  You slam him against the back of the booth. 
“Touch him again,” you say, “and I will break your hand.  You wanna try me?”
He opens his mouth, no doubt to spew some smelly rejoinder, but you don’t stick around for it.  You grab Seungmin by the elbow and yank him out of the booth.  You drag him away. 
“Excuse me,” Seungmin says, not politely, ripping his arm back.  “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I think I’m saving your dumb ass from getting felt up by every creep on this mountain.” 
“Meh-meh-meh,” he mocks, dodging when you reach for him again.  “I’m having fun.  I don’t need you to do anything.  It’s not like you’d really care if something happened to me.  Bad,” he smirks, “or good.” 
He knows he has you cornered.  You might have the physicality over him, but he is holding this entire scene in his hands.  You can only rub your jaw and shake your head, trying and failing to remember how to act indifferent. 
He has the tiniest drop of cream on his upper lip, leftover from the sugary abomination someone bought him.    
You say nothing in reply to his deliberate antagonizing.  You plant one hand on your hip and reach for him with the other.   When he tries to dodge, you grab him by the shoulder, firmly putting him in place.  He does not move the second time, standing still while you wipe a thumb across the sugary residual. 
Then you push at his bottom lip, press down, flicking your thumb so it bounces back.  His stare is unwavering.  He is not the blushing type, but he noticeably swallows. 
“Come on,” you say, zipping up your jacket.  “We’re leaving.  Now.” 
“What if I don’t want to?” he asks. 
You grab the back of his neck and drag him right up against you. 
“I didn’t ask,” you say.   
“Friends don’t get to make demands, dumbass,” he says, sneering the word friends.  He does not wriggle away, but he does not fully surrender either.  He meets your stare head-on, unmoving and unintimidated. 
He is going to make you say it.  He is not going to let you act sexy and charm your way out of it.  He is going to stand in this bar with your hand uselessly holding his neck until you do.   
“Fine,” you say.  You exhale.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I said all that dumb shit.  I’m a moron.”
“Yes,” he says.  “You are.” 
“I didn’t think it would matter that much anyway.”
“Because you aren’t the romantic type,” he says dryly. 
“Because I didn’t think you’d care,” you admit.  “You don’t like me and we don’t get along anyway.  I just—”  You finally drop your hand, waving at nothing and looking away.  You can feel him glaring at you.  “Look, I suck, I get it.  Believe me, I know all the ways I suck.  I figured I’d spare us the mess when you figured that out so I just walked away while it was still good.”
“You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought,” he says.  He is still frowning at you.  “I already know how much you suck.  It was the first thing I noticed, you arrogant, womanizing ass.”
“Hey now…”     
“You’re vulgar and loud and, for someone without a dick, you think with it constantly.”  
 “I… don’t…”  You do.
“And for some reason even though you are the biggest idiot and the worst person I have ever met,” he says, still glaring, “I still like something about you.  Because even though you’re determined to not let anyone see your good side, unfortunately you have one.  Even though it’s buried so deep you have to walk into hell to find it.” 
It did not really occur to you that Seungmin has already seen your worst qualities.  Because you did not get along, you never felt a need to hide those attributes.  Inadvertently, you have been more open and honest with this annoyingly handsome brat than anyone else you have ever known.
You cannot help the smile tugging at your lips.  Seungmin rolls his eyes. 
“You’re hopeless,” he says, shaking his head as he shoves past you.  “Take me home, idiot, before I come to my senses.”   
You turn to follow him, only to get bopped on the nose when he shoves a pointed finger in your face. 
“If you even think about acting like a moron in the morning,” he says, “I will kill you and make it look like an accident.” 
You draw a cross over your heart and nod.  He huffs in aggravation, turning on his heel and stomping outside. 
“You’re the worst,” he says.  He swings open the door and stomps into the snowy night, seemingly unbothered by the fluffy bits of snow swirling around his face.  He just swings up his hood and marches through the downy white carpet.  “You better make this worth my while,” he says. 
Your eyes are on his ass in those jeans, thinking about how you very much will be making it worth his while.  You look up when he keeps grumbling to himself, a marked sign he is maybe more nervous than he is letting on.  You remember his stubbornness before his eventual acquiescence, the way he hid his face at his most vulnerable moments. 
You might be in the habit of ducking out the door, but he deflects just as much with his wit.
You hurry your pace, catching up to him.  He is still muttering to himself, head down, a soft layer of snow dusting his jacket and hood.  It must be all over your head but you hardly feel the cold.  Your mind is on warmth, that stupid heart of yours suddenly flooded with it. 
You want this to be good for him, even if he would never outright ask for you to be kind.  It is all the more reason to make sure you are.  You really were such an idiot. 
Your grip is firm but not rough, hand curling protectively over his shoulder.  This touch invites more than demands. 
He stops in place, looking at you with a wary glare.  It disappears when you swoop in.  His hood falls as you tug him close.  He goes without protest, lips parting under yours with a claiming so heated that the cold does not stand a chance against you. 
You try to keep it romantic, a rare act of restraint on your part, but the supposed good boy drags the zipper of your coat down, down, down, then grabs your belt and tugs.  You stumble, uncharacteristically shaky, gasping against his lips when he grinds his knuckles against the zip of your jeans. 
“Tsk,” he says, lips still brushing yours.  “Not prepared.” 
“I was planning on sitting around feeling sorry for myself,” you say, with a helpless laugh despite his teasing.  You grab his wandering hand, leading it away from your crotch.  You are eternally grateful your dick is the kind you can leave in your sock drawer, because resisting him right now would have been impossible otherwise.     
“Trust me,” you say.  “I’ll make up for it.”
“Fine,” he says.  “I will.  You better not let me down.”  He looks at you when he says this, as close to imploring as Seungmin ever does. 
You feel the weight of that trust.  You nod, swallowing, looking at his lips, full and pink from the hard press of your kiss.  You lean in for more when he abruptly zips your coat again, all the way up to your chin so he smacks your jaw. 
“Come on then,” he says with that mean little laugh as he scampers away, grinning at you.  “Are you gonna prove it or not?” 
It is a short drive back to the cabin, and a torturous one to boot.  Not because Seungmin touches you, but because he doesn’t, and he won’t let you touch him either.  You try to put a hand on his knee but every attempt is rebuffed.  All you get is that cheeky grin or a glare, then a mere flick of his wrist as he brushes you away like lint.
Somehow it is more maddening than a direct touch.  You can feel him everywhere just by his proximity.  He even jumps out of the car before you unbuckle your seatbelt.  He is inside the cabin before you reach the door. 
You are panting from the sprint up the driveway, trying to keep up, not entirely convinced he won’t play you for a sucker and run right out the back door.  It would be like Seungmin to make you chase him up the mountainside.  You wouldn’t blame him for making you prove yourself, considering what an ass you were. 
But he is waiting inside the cabin.  Everyone else is out for the night and should be gone for hours.  When you close the door, sealing out the cold and the world, this cabin feels flush with more heat than you know what to do with. 
You do not hesitate. The tantalizing promise of more is like a touch on its own, heightened by his stubborn refusal to give you anything easily.  It makes catching him that much more satisfying, that soft sound all the sweeter when you pull him into your arms and finally steal that kiss. 
His skin is cool from the weather but his mouth is warm, the kiss searing hot.  He digs his blunt nails into the arms of your jacket, pressing the whole length of his hard body against yours. 
You remember his unexpectedly tender places, how just a faint stroke behind his ear will have him curling into you, how looping some hair around your fingers and tugging will deepen the rumbling sound that spills past his lips.  
You unzip his coat while kissing, licking into him while he scrambles to help strip.  The coat hits the floor in a damp heap.  You separate for just a moment, giving him the chance to tug his hoodie up and off.  You toss your own jacket over the nearby couch, then hook your fingers into his belt loops and pull him close.  
His hair is in an endearing state of dishevelment and he looks flushed from the rush of warmth after the chill.  Just looking at him like this has you throbbing.  You try to imagine telling the old you that you would feel that way, that the annoying friend-of-a-friend who mutually hated your guts would be looking at you like he wants to devour you and let you return the favour. 
You can’t imagine believing it.  Now it feels completely natural, letting him walk you backwards until your back hits the wall and his chest is pressed to yours, rising and falling with the quickness of his breath. 
He is looking aside, contemplatively.  You cup his jaw and draw him back to you, unable to resist a breathless laugh when he nips at your fingers.  You do not shy away or let go, and that seems to placate him.  He practically melts against you, your hand curving around the shape of his cheek, lowering to curl gently around the side of his neck.
“We should go upstairs,” you say.  The stairs are right beside you, but somehow the bedroom seems too far.  
Impossibly, ridiculously far, when Seungmin flicks some hair out of his eyes and looks at you intensely. 
“Don’t you want me on my knees?”  he asks. 
Your response is not a real word, just a rough sound.  He smirks, but is still flushed and a little shaky as he sinks onto his knees.  He gets your belt open, tugs it free, and tosses it to the side.  The sight of him licking his lips has you seeing stars before he even leans in. 
You brush some of his hair back, looking down at his face as he focusses on unzipping your jeans.  He has the fly down when you catch your breath and your senses. 
You gather the hair at his nape in your fist and tug, firm and sharp.  His mouth falls open and his breath stutters, eyes so dark and lips so wet and plush that you are tempted to drive his face right between your legs, where is obviously offering to be. 
But that’s not how you want to do this, not yet.   You move from his hair to his neck, wrapping your hand around his throat and watching his eyelashes flutter with surprise.  There is always a breath of panic in that surprise, adrenaline fueling the flood of desire that follows.  He is visibly hard, straining in those sinful jeans, breathing harder as you none-too-nicely push him down onto the stairs. 
“What are you doing,” he says, though it sounds like less like a question than acceptance.  Continue, waving his hand like a prince on silk sheets even though he is sprawled on his back on the staircase.    
“Making it worth your while,” you say.  He is not wearing a belt because these jeans are made for his body, snug and perfect and fitted everywhere, so it is just a matter of unbuttoning—
Oof. 
He plants his foot on your chest like last time, pushing you back.  He blinks innocently.    
“Shoes first,” he says. 
You smile, though it less playful than predatory, a promise in the flash of your teeth.   You nonetheless obey his silly whim as you tug off one shoe than the other.  It leaves a damp patch on your shirt which he remarks on.   You roll your eyes but tug your shirt off, sports bra following. 
The second time you push him down, you are even less nice.  You gather his hands in yours and pin them above his head, holding him there when he squirms ineffectively. 
“You’re kind of a brat,” you say, yanking his zipper down.  “Anyone ever tell you that?”
“You,” he says, panting around the word.  “Jerk.” 
You laugh, then cover his mouth with yours, swallowing the moan that takes him by surprise.  His hips buck towards you when you reach into those jeans to take him in hand.  He wriggles in your hold, arms straining while his hips lift toward you for more, following the snapping rhythm of your hand.  You trace the dick piercings that caught you by surprise last time, the metal smooth under your rolling thumb. 
You only release him when you duck down, tasting for yourself, relishing in the sounds that spill out of him.  He claws at your bare shoulder, spreading his legs to make room for you to lay between them.  His head falls back, resting on the step above while you work him in your mouth. 
“I’m—I’m—”  His voice gets lighter, breathier, his orgasm hitting him all at once.  He throws an arm over his face instinctively, head thrown back, hips lifting.  It catches you by surprise, making you choke just a bit, but he is already coming so you ride it out.   
He is still twitching when he finishes, gasping behind his arm when you roll a thumb around his piercing again.  When he hisses, knees jerking, you let go. 
Knowing him better than you ever thought you would, you move, stretching out alongside him.  You tug him into your arms and he goes without hesitation, burying his face in your neck.  You snake a hand under his shirt, stroking his back affectionately. 
Once more, you are genuinely endeavouring to be sweet. 
Once more, he shoves his hand down your pants. 
“Hello—”  It is all you manage before he is touching you, finding all that wet desire and rubbing a little haphazardly.  It makes you laugh and you grab his wrist, slowing him down.  “Easy,” you say, showing him a better pace.  “Just like that is good.” 
He learns quickly.  It was the same last time.  Every idea you introduced, he contemplated, experimented, then excelled.  With just a nudge now, he skillfully obliges.  He is breathing hard against your throat, pressed so close to your whole body, his fingers finding all your secrets and working them out.  You slide a hand down his backside, squeezing a handful of his ass.  The sound he makes has you coming faster than usual.
He puts his hand on your thigh, then lifts his head and grins at you.  
“I’m still winning,” he says.
“It’s still not a contest,” you reply, quirking an eyebrow. 
“It is,” he says.  “And I’m winning.” 
“I see.”
You scoop him into your arms and cart him up the stairs.  He situates himself by the time you reach the bedroom, legs around your waist and arms around your shoulder.   
“Still winning?” you ask. 
“Obviously,” he replies. 
You shake your head and sigh but with no real animosity, just like his smirk is more playful than vicious.  You still whole-heartedly believe he is capable of catching you off guard, so you are prepared for the brat switch to flip at the slightest provocation. 
You drop him onto the bed with a gentle thump, then cross your arms and look down at him. 
“Can I leave you unsupervised for two minutes while I get my dick?” you ask. 
“I don’t know,” he says, blinking innocently.  “Can you?” 
“Probably not,” you say, but retreat nonetheless.   Your equipment is in your travel bag.  You left it behind when you went to the bar because you were not in the mood for a hook-up, which should have been the first sign you were hopeless.  You were already in waters far too deep when you tried reaching for that shitty life preserver.  Learning to swim is not easy but infinitely more rewarding. 
You change into packing boxers and tuck your toy into it, buttoning up the pocket.  You grab some lube and a towel, then walk back to his bedroom, certain that he has somehow caused trouble in the five minutes it took to do all that. 
He’d naked.  Of course he is.  Sitting where you left him, perched on the edge of the bed, but his clothes are folded in a pile on the dresser and he has nothing but a bedsheet pulled over his lap.  He is not wearing his usual cheeky expression, though, and you are about to ask if something is wrong.  Then he says, “I’ve never done this before.” 
“Oh,” you say.  “That’s fine.”  It is the unthinking response, automatic as the admission is not too surprising.  You live in a world where strap-ons and gender games are the norm, so sometimes you forget that most people consider it inherently kinky or an anomaly.  A lot of men are new to it.  Seungmin didn’t even know what was packing was when you first mentioned it. 
But then he says, “Any of it.” 
And you say, “Huh?” 
“I’ve never done,” he says slowly, “any of this.” 
“Any.”
“Any.”
It takes a long minute to compute.  You think about his clumsy touches and experiments followed by his quick learning.  Unabashed and unjudgmental regardless of what he encountered.  Testing and figuring himself out just as much as you. 
“Oh,” you say.  Then, “Oh.  Fucking shit.  I’m such an asshole.” 
Because that was his first time doing anything with someone, and you just walked out the door without a word the next morning. 
He does not look upset about it anymore.  In fact, he laughs, though he tries to hold it back.  It turns into a snort he barely catches, amused eyes gazing up at you. 
“Yeah,” he says.  “You are.  We already knew that.” 
“I really, I just—” 
“Can you shut up and come take my virginity before I get beatified for involuntary chastity?”
“But you’re so fucking hot,” you blurt. 
It is obviously not the retort he anticipated, because he blushes profusely, which is not the response you expected. 
He clears his throat and looks away, rolling his eyes to compensate for the obvious vulnerability. 
“Thanks,” he says.  “Stating the obvious.  I’m also picky.  And apparently I scare people.”
“Scare them?” you ask, quirking an eyebrow.  “Who’d be scared of you?”
“Evidently not you,” he says.  His tone is snarky but he looks at you, up and down, and the look is a thoughtful one.  “Not ever.” 
Agh.  There’s that heart again, pounding away.  Who knew that thing could race so fast. 
“Well,” you say, finally putting the bottle and towel on the bedside table.  “That is their loss.  Not everyone is built for chasing luxury, I guess.” 
“Luxury,” he says with another snort, grinning despite himself.  “I’m high-end,” he says it like a fact, not a question.
“Naturally,” you say, approaching where he is sitting. 
“I’m going to be honest,” he says, eyes wandering your body before landing on your face.  “I thought you were going to be weird and egotistical about being with a virgin.” 
It suddenly pings in your head that you are his first, that there is a certain responsibility that comes with that.  That the wrong person could make this terrible for him.  That you want to make sure it feels better than anything he could dream.  These thoughts are completely and truly unselfish. 
And there is one admittedly egotistical and selfish thought, of making him irrevocably yours with one really good fuck. 
He glares when he sees the look on your face, his lips pursed, though a breath of a laugh escapes nonetheless. 
“Wow!” he says.  “You’re a pig, go away.”
“No, no, I’m not, I swear!” you say, laughing. 
He laughs too but shakes his head, pushing you away when you reach for him.  “No way,” he says.  “You and your ego.  Gross.” 
“Please, I promise,” you say, getting on your knees and lacing your hands together like a praying supplicant.  “I’ll be so normal,” you say.  “I have no ego at all.”
“You’re the worst,” he says dryly. 
“Yeah, but…”  You wiggle your eyebrows at him.  “You kinda like me anyway, right?” 
It is a more vulnerable question than you thought it would be.  It prompts him to look at you, really look at you, before he huffs and rolls his eyes. 
“Unfortunately,” he says. 
You giggle and he swats your head. 
“Are we just going to sit here all night and look at each other?” he asks, crossing his arms. 
“No, no, of course not,” you say.  You get back on your feet, standing bedside so you are looming over him. 
“What are we doing then?” he asks.   
“Well, you know what we’re doing,” you say, laughing when he rolls his eyes and huffs again. 
You reach out, cupping his face in both your hands and guiding him to look up at you.  Your heartbeat hammers away not only in your chest but everywhere else, a rapid current of heat that thunders most prominently between your legs as shiny dark eyes gaze up at you amorously from such a suggestive vantage.  
“First, before anything else, this.”  You speak in a lower voice, watching his spine straighten as the sound.  You run your thumb across his bottom lip like you did earlier, except this time it is a bruised pink from kissing.  It really makes you feel like that extra weight in your boxers is coming to life, connected to you intimately, ready and wanting as you are.  Especially when you tug on that bottom lip, when he leans towards your hand like he needs it, needs you. 
“Now,” you say. “Now I want you on your knees.” 
There is a sharp intake of breath before he nods, subtly, then shifts.  The sheets falls away from his lap, revealing he is already half-hard again.  There are goosebumps along his skin, from his nudity and the chill or just anticipation. 
Last time, he needed almost no direction.  He followed his own instinct, logically deducing that the part of the toy you could feel was the part at the base, closest to your body.  He uses his usual deductions when unbuttoning your boxers, taking a second to first press the base of the toy against you before leaning back and opening his mouth. 
It is not easy to come like this, but you are so worked up that it might happen.  It does not matter if you do.  It is not always about chasing the perfect orgasm.  This time, it is touch and sensuality.  He lets you teach him, rather than stampeding like last time.  You wonder if his heart is pounding given how red the tips of his ears are, blood rushing everywhere in a hurry.  You hold his face and slide back and forth, taking your time getting wet, both yourself and the toy, pushing him a little further each time. 
When his mouth is full and he blinks slowly, contently, every bratty remark and combative tone far from his mind, you smile and tug his hair.  He moans and you push a little more, gliding back and forward again. 
“You’re a fast learner,” you say.  “Bet you could get used to this.” 
It is a testing tease, to great success if the returned moan is anything to go by.  He squeezes his eyes shut and starts touching himself, finally moving his head instead of letting you guide him.  Before he gets too lost in the rhythm, you ease him back.  You smile and rub your thumb across his shiny lips as he blinks up at you.    
“Come here,” you say, and kiss him. 
He falls into the kiss, arms wrapping around you as you lay down with him.  He is eager in the searching heat of the kiss, long and deep and hungry.   You get on your back and pull him on top of you, give him one more drawn-out kiss with a filthy wet lick into his mouth, then smile. 
“Turn around,” you say.  “Keep going.”
It takes him a second to work out what you mean, but he really is a fast learner.  Soon he is laying on top of you, face where it was before, mouth wrapping around the end of your dick and his fingers searching beneath it to stroke you directly. 
You snatch the lube off the table and wet your fingers then him, taking it slow and easy, using your mouth and spit then more lube until everything is slippery and he gives in so easily into you.  He is breathing hard down between your legs, resting his cheek on your thigh and no longer using his mouth on you.  His eyes are closed and his hips are rocking, focussed on the sensations that you are certain are overwhelming him. 
You move him around, at which point he comes to attention, looking back at you.  This is the quietest he has ever been, all the action in his heart as you expected; you can feel it racing when you touch his chest.  
You lay him down in front of you, sidling up behind him.  You lay a hand on the wildly fluttering race of his pulse, throat cupped in your palm.  You turn his face to kiss him, your wet hand stroking your wet dick.  You probably should have thrown that towel down before getting started.  The sheets are a mess already. 
“Ugh, hurry up,” he says, reaching back to smack your thigh.  “You’re the worst.  I hate you.” 
You laugh.  Oh well.  No time to worry about bedsheets.  You give his throat a gentle squeeze and smile at the noise he makes, strained and needy, his hips rearing back into you. 
“What?” you ask, sliding the toy down his backside.  “You want something?”
“I will bury you in the mountain pass,” he says.  “They’ll think it was a skiing accident.  And that you got mauled by a bear.  And eaten by wolves.  And—”
To be honest, having him distracted and rambling is for the best.  It means he is more relaxed, not so focussed when you finally start pushing in.  Of course, he feels it pretty fast, and instinctively rebels.  You stop clutching his throat and hold an arm across his chest instead, holding him protectively and kissing that sweet spot behind his ear.  His groaning turns into a whine. 
“Okay?” you ask. 
“Gonna kill you,” he says. 
“That a yes?”
“Yes.” 
“Thank you.”  You hook a hand under his leg and pull it up, giving yourself leverage, then fuck into him completely.  His whine turns to a sharp yelp, hand scrabbling against the arm on his chest.  You let him catch his breath and adjust.  “Still okay?” 
“It’s weird,” he says. 
“Bad weird?”
“No,” he says.  “It’s… it’s good.  It’s just…”  You move a little and his whole body clenches then loosens.  He makes a strangled noise but softens in your arms, though his nails have dug a pretty picture into your skin.  You are surprised he hasn’t drawn blood.  “Ugh,” he says.  “It’s so wet.  I feel like a river rafting ride.”
“Not… what most people usually say… but okay…” 
“I’m… not… most people.”
“No,” you say, kissing that spot again and finally moving your hips.  “You’re not.” 
You are not sure if his little sound of submission is in response to your actions or your words, but with it he seems to all at once open to you.  You find a rhythm, holding his hand when his fingers search for yours on his chest.  He ends up biting your arm, which you should have seen coming, but it’s fine because you leave a visible bite mark on his neck in return. 
At that he gets into it, meeting the pace you set, altering it to what he wants.  It is a good thing the house is empty because you are not quiet at all.  If your fooling around was enough to send an aggravated Minho storming after you, then this probably would have led to him burning the cabin down. 
The thought makes you snicker, which makes Seungmin ask what is so funny, so you tell him then he laughs too. 
“Ugh, stop making me laugh,” he says. 
“You can laugh while making love,” you say, kissing his neck.  “It’s okay.” 
That does not make him laugh but it does make him sigh.  “Making love, huh,” he says dryly.  “That doesn’t sound like you.”
“It didn’t,” you say, finding another sweet spot that has his whole body rearing into yours.  “I guess I’m a fast learner too.”
“Ew, you’re so annoying,” he says, but squeezes your fingers in his hand. 
“I think you’re not getting fucked right if you’re still this bratty,” you say playfully, prompting him to roll his eyes. 
“What are you gonna do about it?  Make love at me?  Sap.” 
You laugh, kiss his neck, then move away to roll him onto his back.  He wriggles a bit, surprised with the change and sudden emptiness.  His legs part easily when you move between them, but you still snap, “Spread.  Good.”  Because it makes him swallow hard, his dark eyes sparkling and his mouth bruised, hair mussed and body flushed.  He is already a fucked out sight, but he wants more, and you give it. 
You snap your hips together and fuck into him.  This time you do hold his throat, gently, not repressing air but showing control.  He holds your forearm with both hands, his face scrunching up, eyes closed as he focusses in that intense way of his.  He breathes hard, makes sweet sounds, and not a single antagonistic or bratty word leaves his pretty mouth. 
“I think I’m finally winning,” you tease, to which he just makes a hiccupping sound of pleasure.  “Yeah, that’s right.” 
You hold his ridiculously pretty dick and give it the expert treatment it deserves.  The combination of sensations has him throwing his head back, clawing your arm as you work him in your head.  You cannot feel the end of the toy, but there is a magic in this kind of fucking, and when he comes and he clutches your arm and he screams your name, when the muscles in his abdomen clench and you know he is feeling sensation in every part of his body, you can feel him wrapped around you, wholly and completely, like you could feel him when he wasn’t even touching you at all. 
He writhes almost desperately as you keep touching him until he can’t take it anymore, then you ease him down and pull back. 
“Good?” you ask, sitting back, looking down at him, blissfully fucked out and dishevelled. 
“Yes,” he murmurs.  “I won. Again.” 
“Gonna need to supply me with that rubric one of these days,” you say. 
“Meh-meh-meh,” is the half-hearted retort, delving to a sleepy sigh. 
 “Gotta take care of yourself before you go to sleep,” you say, though you have a feeling it’s a losing battle, his eyelids already heavy. 
“That’s what you’re for,” he grumbles. 
That damn heart really does have a mind of its own.  It has clearly decided to make its presence known whenever it damn well pleases. 
You run your fingers through his messy hair, smiling when he blinks up at you. 
You tidy him up then scoop him into your arms to carry him to your bed, because that one is not a filthy sex nest.  He wakes a little on the journey.  And when you lay down and pull a sheet up, he rolls towards you and throws an arm and a leg around you, pinning you to the bed. 
“I’m not going anywhere,” you say.  “I promise.”
“Good,” he says.  “You’re too stupid to be out there on your own.” 
You laugh in spite of yourself, shaking your head, but you put an arm around him and nod. 
“You’re right,” you say. 
“Of course I am.”  He snuggles in close and sighs.  “Now go the fuck to sleep.  Your dick is in the sink so you have no excuse.  Good night.”  
“Good night,” you say with a laugh. 
I think I won too, you almost say, but decide let him believe he is the only winner for now, because he is already falling asleep with his head on your shoulder.   
You can tell him in the morning. 
774 notes · View notes
drvscarlett · 7 months ago
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The Tortured Drivers' Department
— combining another one of my favorites. I'll be taking notes and writing fics about which TTPD song do I associate with the drivers ( + I will be including the retired ones). This is the main list and I'll be linking them when I finished writing them. Let me know if you wanna be tagged
Also give TTPD a listen. Its so beautiful and a masterpiece
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Fortnight
— i love you, its ruining my life (Lewis Hamilton x Mercedes!reader)
The Tortured Poets Department 
— At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on. And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding (Pierre Gasly x ex!reader)
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 
— 'Cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart left all these broken parts (Lando Norris x reader)
Down Bad
— Fuck it if I can't have him (Charles Leclerc x kpop idol!reader)
So Long, London
— You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? (George Russell x secret girlfriend! reader)
But Daddy I Love Him
— "I'm having his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces (Alex Albon x Horner!reader)
Fresh Out the Slammer
— Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you (Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader)
Florida!!! (feat. Florence + the Machine) 
—I need to forget, so take me to Florida (Logan Sargeant x heiress!reader)
Guilty as Sin?
—What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? (Oscar Piastri x bestfriend!reader)
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
— I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean (Nico Rosberg x Lewis Hamilton)
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
— they shake their heads, saying, "God help her" when I tell 'em he's my man (Daniel Ricciardo x longtime girlfriend!reader)
loml
— Oh, what a valiant roar. What a bland goodbye. The coward claimed he was a lion (Max Verstappen x childhood sweetheart!reader)
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart 
— Lights, camera, bitch, smile (Zhou Guanyu x model!reader)
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
— And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive (Yuki Tsunoda x Actress!reader)
The Alchemy
—'Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me (Kimi Räikkönen x assistant!reader)
Clara Bow
— This town is fake, but you're the real thing (Sebastian Vettel x Ferrari heir!reader)
The Black Dog
— I am someone who, until recent events you shared your secrets with (Mick Schumacher x driver!reader
imgonnagetyouback
— I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch (Fernando Alonso x wife!reader)
The Albatross
— She's the albatross, she is here to destroy you (Jenson Button x revenger!reader)
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
—So if I sell my apartment and you have some kids with an internet starlet. Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon? (Carlos Sainz x Vasseur!reader)
How Did It End?
— The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling (Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri)
So High School
—You knew what you wanted, and, boy, you got her (Charles Leclerc x reader ft Max Verstappen x childhood friend!reader)
I Hate It Here
—I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind (Kimi Räikkönen x interviewer! reader)
thanK you aIMee
— And then she wrote headlines in the local paper laughing at each baby step I'd take (Mark Webber x reader)
I Look in People’s Windows
—What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time (Sebastian Vettel x reader)
The Prophecy
—Don't want money, just someone who wants my company (Pierre Gasly x politician's daughter!reader)
Cassandra
—So they killed Cassandra first cause she feared the worst (Lewis Hamilton x wife!reader)
Peter
— Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold onto the days when you were mine (Lando Norris x reader)
The Bolter
— "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" (Max Verstappen x hollywood starlet!reader)
Robin
— You have no room in your dreams for regrets (Oscar Piastri x girlfriend!reader)
The Manuscript
—One last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then I re-read the manuscript. But the story isn't mine anymore (Carlos Sainz x McLaren employee!reader)
552 notes · View notes
tenpintsof-sundrop · 7 months ago
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you don't need an AO3 app - round 2!!!
"AO3 is ugly and I hate the formatting!" -> you can download site skins. very gorgeous ones. and you can use them to change the aesthetics and visuals of AO3. just search 'AO3 skin' on Tumblr or even on google and you will be in A Whole New World. (and those searches should yeild tutorials on how to install the skins as well - it's not something I know a lot about, because I used to primarily use Quizilla and FFN, so I am more than used to Ugly Website. AO3 is very aesthetic and pretty compared to those.)
"AO3 is too bright!!! it hurts my eyes!!!" -> there is a dark mode. scroll down to the bottom. there is a heading that says 'customize'. under this heading, hit the button that says 'reversi'. that is their version of dark mode. and again, you can look for site skins that you like that have a darker background.
"I want to be able to make reading lists!" -> you can make bookmark collections on AO3. In your bookmarks, there is a button that says 'add to collection' beside each work. have fun. go ham. (Also, you can make private bookmarks if you are reading something with more controversial content that you don't really want others to know about - and please know, that any bookmark comments you make on public bookmarks can be seen by the author.)
(this last one made me laugh - because it seems like people are just coming up with bullshit excuses to 'need' an AO3 app when there is literally nothing that an app can go that AO3 can't.)
"my memory is really bad because of reasons sooo I remember to use things better by having them on my homescreen like an app!!!" -> create an AO3 shortcut on your homescreen. most mobile browsers have the capability to put a shortcut to a specific link or a specific website on your homescreen so that you can go straight there - like you would with opening an app. and it can be labelled 'the AO3 app' while simply having the icon of that browser. you can even do this with a link to a specific fic that you are in the process of reading (even down to the specific chapter that you were on). there is literally 0 reasons to have or use an AO3 app.
and remember kids!!! any and all apps with AO3 in their title are not associated with the real archiveofourown in any way, shape, or form - they are unofficial, and technically, they are illegal. and using them is putting all fanficition writers at risk legally (even if there is no active lawsuits right now) - just don't fucking use them. it is a threat to the entire fanfiction hobby just because you want 'the app experience'.
the archive is a non-profit website with 0 ads for a reason, and those apps are scummy scammers who put ads on our stories to make fast easy money when none of the people who made those stories ever consented to it.
459 notes · View notes
slut4thebroken · 1 month ago
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Torture
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Spencer Reid x reader
Summary | You’re his therapist, but seeing you is torture for him, so he give you an ultimatum.
Warnings | Blackmail (but not really), praise kink, emotional manipulation, kind of, idk.
Words | 1k
Notes | Probably gonna do a part 2 I just don’t know when lol
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
Kinktober | day 9: prison
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“Actually… there is something you could do to make me more comfortable here.” He said tentatively, waiting for your reaction. 
“What do you need? Anything.” You replied earnestly, not even hesitating for a second. 
You’ve developed a soft spot for Spencer since you’ve started working with him. To be honest it was more of a crush, but you did your best to remain professional. 
You’ve started giving him special treatment though. Like bringing him coffee, convincing the right people to add more books to the prison’s library, and sometimes even bringing him some of his favorite snacks to eat during the session. 
It took a while for him to open up and it took even longer for him to accept your kindness because he was adamant that he didn’t deserve it. He told you about what he’s done since being incarcerated and, while you agreed that those things were bad, you also knew that he was just trying to survive. 
Personally, you thought he was innocent, but you’re not the one who decides that unfortunately. 
“I’ve been in here for a few weeks now and… there’s something I’ve been struggling with a lot.” Your brows furrowed in confusion as you waited for him to explain. “And quite frankly, seeing you every week just makes it worse.” He said solemnly. 
“What?” You asked in shock, a pit forming in your stomach. 
“I’ve been considering requesting a new therapist.” You felt your heart drop when he said that. 
“Tell me what you need, Spencer.” You pleaded, reaching across the table to hold his hands that were resting there. 
He hesitated, then shook his head a little. “It’s silly… You’re just going to laugh at me.”
“No- I would never. I promise.” 
He hesitated again for a moment before letting out a heavy breath and breaking eye contact, averting his gaze downward. “I’ve tried… using my hand, but it never satisfies the craving. It doesn’t come close to what I need— it only intensifies the need for something more.”
Your eyes widened and your lips parted in shock. He couldn’t mean…
“And I have an eidetic memory so it’s not like I need porn… I just— I need…” he trailed off and finally looked into your eyes again, making you swallow nervously. “You have no idea how.. intoxicating the touch of a woman is after being in a place like this. You're so soft, so gentle… and you always smell so good… It’s torture.” He confessed, his tone cautious, but with an underlying hunger. 
You opened your mouth, trying to find the right words and figure out how to respond, but it was getting harder and harder to think. 
“That’s why I don’t think I can handle you being my therapist if things continue like this.” 
“What,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, trying to stop your voice from wavering, “what do you need?” You asked, even though you were pretty sure you already knew. His eyes flicked down again and this time you realized he was staring at your cleavage. 
“Why were you so insistent on the guard removing the handcuffs?” He suddenly asked, surprising you a little. 
“I knew you wouldn’t hurt me… and I didn’t want you to have to feel even more dehumanized.” His eyes snapped up to your face and he tilted his head curiously. 
“Why did you think I wouldn’t hurt you?” His tone wasn’t overly dark, but there was a glint in his eyes that made you second guess yourself. 
“Y-You want to get out of here… You wouldn’t risk getting a longer sentence.”  You said, but you were starting to sound unsure. 
“You underestimate the power primal urges have over men in my position.” He said simply, then yanked your hands toward him, forcing your torso to fall onto the table. He only stopped pulling once he was close enough to feel your breath. The metal edge of the table was digging into your hips and you desperately wanted to move, but you were still frozen in shock. 
“Spencer,” when you tried pulling your hands away, he tightened his grip, “please let go of me.” 
“Why?” He snapped, becoming impatient. “You’re scared, but it’d be obvious to anyone that you’re turned on too.” You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. One of his hands released you to grab your neck, pulling you even closer, his nose almost brushing yours. “You have two choices.” His voice was already low and thick with arousal and you couldn’t help it when your thighs squeezed together. “You either surrender your body to me, or we finish the session as normal, then I request a new therapist.” 
The thought of not being able to see Spencer every week made your heart ache. 
Only a few minutes ago, his proposition would’ve seemed too good to be true… but now you’re starting to question how well you actually understood him. You could no longer say with absolute certainty that he wouldn’t hurt you.
The feeling of his restrained, ragged breaths fanning your lips was making it incredibly hard to think. Your gaze moved all over his face frantically, trying to get a better read on him after being completely blindsided.
“Three…” He whispered, making you stiffen. “Two…” 
Your heart was pounding rapidly in your chest and just before he finished the count down, you blurted out, “Yes.” He raised his brows, silently telling you to say it. “The first… I choose the first one.” You said, sounding incredibly uncertain, but it was too late now. 
He grinned wolfishly and his hand tightened on your neck. “Good girl.” You let out a shaky breath that further amused him. He suddenly took his hands off you and sat back in his chair, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall. “You have 15 minutes to make me come. Fail, and this will be the last time we see each other.” 
You choked on your spit at the bluntness of his words, but you could tell he was being completely serious. When you look at the clock, you confirmed there was only 15 minutes left of the session. 
“How?” You asked timidly, not wanting to disappoint him. 
“You’re a smart girl. I’m sure you can figure it out.” 
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incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 1 month ago
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Rating Non-Zelink and Non-BotW Link Ships in Legend of Zelda Games because they don't get enough love
Malink; Malon x Link: Adorable and somewhat canon depending on who you think TP Link's parents are and what timeline shenanigans you subscribe to. Link's first non-Kokiri friend turning into his soulmate is cute and finding peace after the craziness of OoT is beautiful. Also, Malon is cute as a button. 11/10, love you, funky Horsegirl.
Ilia x Link: Pretty good but feels too much like a reskin of Malink to be really fun. People give Ilia grief for freaking out about Epona but it really isn't fucking deserved. Girl get's done dirty by the narrative and the fandom and she deserves better. Also, memory loss and falling in love all over again is absolute peak. 9/10, you deserve better, baby.
Marin x Link: A child's first taste of tragic ending and hot girls being doomed by the narrative. Very child friendly "Calypso and Odysseus" feel to this one. Still, Marin is absolutely adorable and the idea of falling in love with a literal dream is heartbreaking. 10/10, would cry like a little kid again.
Link x Ruto: Okay, hear me out, this one isn't terrible. Ruto's chld-like crush on the guy who saved her life is pretty cute and being a haughty teenager about it is pretty funny. Also, she understands they can't be together, and sends him off with her love and good wishes, which is surprisingly mature of her. I'm just saying, Ruto isn't the weirdo people make her out to be. 7/10, it still feels like entrapment
Midlink; Midna x Link: TOP TIER! BEST OF THE BEST! ABSOLUTE PEAK ROMANCE! Romeo and Juliet style star-crossed lovers from literal opposing sides of reality. Allies of convenience to friends to soulmates?! PEAK! Adorable evil goblin design for most of the game and then complete knockout reveal at the end?! ROMANCE DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE?! PEAK, I TELL YOU! PEAK! (Also I headcannon that because Midna looks like a Hylian she's considered ugly by Twili standards so Link finding her beautiful warms her heart). 20/10, best ship, best girl, best love story.
Ganlink; Ganondorf x Link: Objectively the funniest Legend of Zelda ship in existence and I will take no arguments on that. Destined enemies giving the middle finger to fate and falling in love instead? Amazing. Ganondorf hates every minute of it but he's also the happiest he's ever been with this stupid twink and he hates that too. 10/10, something something the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.
Link x Zant: Objectively hilarious as Link is seducing his enemies into submission yet again, like any self-respecting bard, but this one feels a little too Batman x Joker like for my liking. I really ship Zant x Therapy but Midna watching her rival give up his conquering ambitions for a twink is objectively hilarious. 8/10, not great but not bad.
Got others you want me to rate? Let me know! Or better yet, rate them yourself and I'll tell you if I agree or not.
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iiovserii · 1 year ago
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Daddy’s Home — Miguel O’Hara x Fem!Reader
summary: Miguel didn’t get to be picky when it came to choosing his new, forever home, as long as he was in Gabriella’s arms again. Even if it meant sharing her with you. (3.1k Words) Based on this prompt
warnings: angst, slight smut, violence (including the disposal of a body), emotional manipulation, toxic relationship
authors note: this was inspired by one of my prompts from around a week ago and i’ve been holding onto this bad boy for about a week considering it’s my first ever fanfic i’ve ever wrote..i just wanted it to be perfect 😭 in my prompt i said something about the reader being sweet but she’s a lot more firey in this because the real miguel was an asshole who was never home..but i hope you all enjoy anyways! i was hoping to create this into series so if you want to be added to the taglist let me know 💖 i’ve also added the translation at the end just because 🤷‍♀️
Link to the Ao3 ver instead!
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Miguel didn’t get to be picky when it came to choosing his new, forever home, as long as he was in Gabriella’s arms again, even if it meant sharing her with you. You were littered through Gabriella’s file, a pretty hard person to miss considering the fact that you were there for every single moment of her life—the sweet cooing voice in each video of her as a baby, the delicate hands that held the small, chubby fingers as she took her first steps, and the laughter that arose from behind the camera as Gabriella pulled a funny face.
This Gabriella was the perfect fit, however perfect came with a mother that was alive and well. It was a package deal in this universe, a love intertwined with filial devotion that Miguel would just have to deal with.
But he couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy that was buried deep in his chest, even as he watched a memory of Gabriella’s first goal (a favorite of his), which was originally only celebrated by him, now being replaced by Gabriella shrieking excitedly as she ran up to her mother, throwing her arms around you in triumph.
Moments like these, so special for his little girl, fueled his deep hatred towards you. It was watching these memories where Miguel genuinely wondered if he was even present in this universe. Nevertheless, staring down at his own lifeless body made him realize just how right he was.
What was he doing outside alone, in a dark alleyway on a Friday night anyway? Why wasn’t he home with his daughter, with his wife?
Those were the thoughts that ran through his mind as he began disposing of the body—a man too selfish and weak to even protect his precious daughter. In the end, he got what was coming to him, or so he told himself to keep from feeling guilty.
He didn’t care for details, knowing he was here now to pick up the pieces of a broken family and restore it to something he could finally have a second chance with. He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard the jingle of a ringtone coming from his new phone. Swiping the phone from his pocket, he didn’t even stop to waver whether or not he should answer as he saw your name flash on the screen, rolling his eyes as he pressed accept. He pulled the device up to his ear, resting it on his shoulder and cheek as he listened to the sound of your voice.
The first thing he noticed was how tired you sounded—were you waiting for him to return home? He could imagine you laid on the sofa, eyes nervously glancing up at the clock at any given moment, a silly housewife awaiting her husband. He almost felt bad for you; it was pathetic that you would really allow yourself and Gabriella to live like that, always waiting.
He ended the call swiftly, making up some stupid excuse about how he caught up with work and would be arriving shortly. Pretty much in character for the man he just suffocated with his own hands, not raising any suspicion for you as he heard the sleepy yawn telling him that you’d be asleep by the time he got back.
However, despite the dark act he had just committed, he was willing to go to great lengths to win Gabriella's heart again. If putting this ring on his finger and pretending that the woman on the other end of the phone was his wife would grant him another chance with her, then so be it.
He wouldn’t mind playing house with you, as long as he was able to hold his daughter in his arms once more.
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He felt disgusted even calling you 'wife', but for Gabriella's sake, he knew he needed to play along. It wasn't like it mattered anyway since your daughter worshipped you so much more than him.
He didn’t need you, he knew that.
However the thought of Gabriella’s eyes as they lit up when you walk in the room seemed to tell him otherwise. She needed you.
He hated the way the house was never quiet, there was always something happening.
You were making dinner? There had to be music in the background as you traveled around the kitchen, humming and singing along to whatever tune was playing on the speaker. That soft velvety voice seemed to flow through the house, and it killed him inside that he wanted to hear more of you.
Gabriella was playing outside? Well you were playing outside as well, it wasn’t like you had a choice, having being pulled away from whatever you were doing to entertain the small girl.
You had everything running like clockwork—cooking dinner while managing homework and playing with Gabriella at the same time—all without seemingly breaking any sweat or becoming frustrated.
Miguel couldn't help but admire you for being able to handle everything so seamlessly. But deep down, he still felt resentment towards you for taking over what should have been his role as the sole parent of their child.
He’d notice small things, like the way your hands flew to your face when you were shocked, it was sweet at first, until he realised Gabriella also did the same, she never did that before. He had noticed it one morning when he stood in the doorway of Gabie’s room, not trying to make his presence known as he watched the two of you play, and the scowl on his face didn’t go unnoticed as you furrowed your eyebrows at him, wondering what he looking at so intensely.
It took him the first couple of weeks to get used to your laugh, you were always laughing. It seemed to rub off on Gabriella as well, he didn’t think he’d ever seen her laugh this much, even before.
Miguel tried his best to ignore the feelings that arose in him at the sight of you playing with Gabriella, and sometimes even joined the two of you whilst you played your games. He couldn't help but feel envious of how happy the two of you looked together, reminding him of moments he could have had if only things had gone differently.
Despite these feelings, it wasn't long before Miguel began to see a different side of you. A side that made him realise why Gabriella adored you so much.
One day while cooking dinner, he noticed your eyes lighting up as Gabriella told a story about her day at school. You were so invested in her words that for once he felt like an outsider looking into your world.
He also witnessed moments when Gabriella fell ill and how tirelessly you took care of her; staying up all night by her bedside until she fell asleep or gently rubbing Vicks on her chest when she was coughing painfully.
It was moments like these when Miguel started to question his assumptions about you and wondered whether maybe—just maybe—he'd been too quick to judge.
But as much as Miguel tried to ignore it, he couldn't shake the feeling that he had buried something deep inside him. He couldn't let go of the resentment he felt towards you for replacing his role.
He started focusing on every little mistake you made, criticising your cooking and getting angry when things didn't go his way. Every time you laughed or smiled at Gabriella, it sent a pang of jealousy straight through him.
"She's too attached to you," he huffed, standing beside the bathroom counter as you both prepared for bed, "you can't even leave the room, and she's already wondering when you'll be back again."
"Well, maybe if you were around more often, she wouldn't be so reliant on me," you retorted, the soft glow of the bathroom lights casting shadows on your face, your voice laced with frustration.
His eyes narrowed as he leaned in, reaching for his toothbrush, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, of course, it's all my fault. Because you're just the perfect parent, aren't you? Always there, always available."
"You know what, maybe if you actually made an effort instead of criticizing me all the time, you'd see the bond we have is because I've been there for her when you weren't!" you retorted, your voice rising, the sound echoing against the tiled walls.
His tone grew more defensive. "I never said I was perfect, but at least I'm trying now. You could at least acknowledge that."
A mirthless smile crossed your face as you leaned against the bathroom counter, facing each other in the confined space.
"Acknowledging your half-hearted attempts doesn't erase the damage done, Miguel. It takes more than just physical presence to be a real parent."
The tension hung heavy in the air, the scent of toothpaste mingling with their argument, as the bickering between husband and wife intensified. The wounds of the past were reopened, and neither was willing to back down or see the other's perspective.
As the heated exchange reached its peak, you turned on your heels, ready to storm off, your frustration boiling over. But just as you took a step away, Miguel's hand shot out, firmly gripping your arm. The air tightened between you, the coolness of the bathroom tiles beneath your feet.
The grip on your arm only tightened, his expression a mixture of frustration and a confused longing. "You don't speak to me like that," Miguel growled, his voice firm. "You are my wife, act like it."
“You are my husband, I expect the same from you,” you snapped back, your voice dripping with defiance, refusing to back down as you swatted away his hand. “And—I will speak to you however I want.” The sound of running water from the faucet filled the silence.
A flicker of amusement crossed Miguel's face, his eyes tracing your determined form. He had underestimated your strength, your fiery spirit. Despite the frustration that lingered between them, a newfound admiration stirred within him.
"Si supiera que eras tan molesto, te habría dejado hace mucho tiempo, Muñeca," he mused, his tone tinged with a mix of fascination and curiosity, the steam from the shower filling the bathroom. “Las cosas que haría para callar esa boca tan bonita tuya.”
The intensity of the moment had rendered you momentarily speechless, steam rising in the bathroom as the warm air surrounded you both. But you managed to find your voice, albeit in a whisper, the sound barely audible over the running water.
"Now that's not fair," you murmured, the dampness of the bathroom clinging to your skin, your voice filled with a mixture of frustration and longing. "You know I don't understand what you're saying..”
A slow, mischievous smile curled at the corners of Miguel's lips, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief as he leaned in closer, the scent of shampoo and desire filling the air. And as your lips lingered so close, the unspoken desires between you both grew stronger.
“Good.”
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The man currently asleep beside you, was not, to absolute certainty, your husband.
His features held a resemblance to the man you once knew, but there was a striking difference—an unfamiliar intensity in his eyes, he looked at you like he didn’t know you.
His hair fell differently, it looked more clean compared to the tousled mess due to work. You would've sworn he had a small crease in the corner of his eyebrow, but then it disappeared along with the mole on the side of his neck.
He smelled of citrus and leather before, a smell that made you turn when he walked into the room—you knew that smell more than you knew yourself.
Instead now, all you could smell was warm spice and amber. It almost made you smile when you smelt it on him as he walked past you that morning, a couple of weeks ago, until you realised that was the fragrance you got him last Christmas, the fragrance he said he hated and never wore.
The bed, too, felt subtly different beneath your weight, as if it dipped just slightly more than it used to.
It made you feel like your heart was tearing apart. On one hand, he was paying more attention to Gabriella, and she was thriving because of it. He took her to all the soccer practices, played with her and held her so tight that you’d think she’d pop.
You’ve never seen her so happy.
On the other hand, he was hardly in your presence. He hadn’t touched you for weeks, not even a kiss. The most he had done was argue with you, mostly about how close you and Gabriella was.
However, one thing that you couldn’t help but notice was the dark look in his eyes every-time Gabriella’s attention shifted toward you.
He was hardly around before, always at work, the gym or drinking with his co-workers at the bar across from town.
Nowadays it was hard for him to leave you and Gabriella alone.
Not to mention, it was like he grew twice in size. His shoulder looked broader, the veins in his arms popped, more defined. He could basically pick up your seven year old like a feather. Had he been working out more?
You shift on your pillow, eyes glancing down at his heaving chest as he slept. The only time he didn’t look so tense recently was when he was asleep. So peaceful.
You couldn’t help but reach out and dance one of your fingers on the side of his torso, quietly humming some annoying tune that wouldn’t leave your mind that morning.
"What are you doing, Gatita?" he quipped, unable to suppress a soft chuckle that escaped his lips, snapping you out of your thoughts and making you squeak.
As you tried to pull your hand away, Miguel quickly caught it in mid-air, his touch exerting a gentle but firm hold. His finger lightly pressed into your palm, a subtle reminder of his presence and it was almost like he was showing his desire to keep you near.
“What, don't you like touching your husband?" he playfully remarked, mischief dancing in his eyes. His gaze deliberately traveled down your body, as if savoring the sight before him.
Rolling your eyes and pouting, you couldn't resist the urge to make a bratty remark. "Well, it's not exactly enjoyable when the husband is such a pain in the ass." you huffed, your tone laced with a hint of childish defiance.
Feeling his firm hold on your hand, you let out a whine at the tightness. It was as if he was purposely trying to keep you close, unwilling to let you slip away. The intensity of his grip only fueled your frustration.
That’s an air between the two of you. You just couldn’t put your finger on it. The way you desperately try to search in his eyes for something, anything, that would tell you that the man you’re looking at, is, really your husband. The man you’ve spent nearly eight years with.
It’s almost like he’s trying to breathe you in, the way he looks like he’s trying to piece together your features, it makes you wonder if he even knows a thing about you.
The weight of the impending moment made you fidget, your fingers nervously playing with the edge of the bedsheet. You were acutely aware of the lingering tension between you and Miguel, and you attempt to find a way to wiggle your way out of his grasp.
A timid sigh escaped your lips, as a sense of unease settled upon your shoulders. "Gabriella will be waking up soon," you whispered, your voice tinged with a flicker of concern.
A cruel smirk played at the corner of his lips as he leaned in closer, invading your personal space. "Is my little wife hiding from me?" he sneered, his tone dripping with sarcasm and mockery. “You know she’s not getting up for at least another hour.”
Your eyes darted nervously between him and the door, your mind already jumping to potential escape routes. You couldn't help but wonder if he was purposefully trying to push your buttons with his words.
"I just don't want her to-," you began to stutter, but were cut short as Miguel's grip tightened further on your hand. "Don't worry about Gabriella," he whispered into your ear, his breath hot against the nape of your neck. “She’ll be fine.”
A shiver ran down your spine at the sensation; it stirred something within you that you couldn’t quite explain. Within the eight years of your marriage, he had never made the room feel so..heated.
You gasped at the sensation of his lips pressing into your neck, sending shivers down your spine in a wave of desire and guilt. All logic told you that this was wrong, yet there was a part of you that wanted nothing more than to give in to the heat that bubbled within.
As Miguel's kisses grew bolder and more insistent against your skin, you couldn't help but writhe beneath him.
His groan reverberated through your body, stirring something deep within as he whispered against your ear "I know I've been a bad husband," punctuating each with another kiss along the length of your jaw.
"Miguel-" Your voice trailed off into a soft whimper as he shifted so that he was hovering over you, one hand moving to fondle at the curve of your hip while the other tangled itself in your hair.
"But I'm here now," he murmured between kisses before ducking back down to press his lips onto yours once again. The taste of him flooded through you even as he reached up under-shirt slowly caressing and teasing you, making sure not too much display signs of pleasure.
As the heat continued to build between you and Miguel, he began to part your legs, eliciting a soft gasp from deep within as his intent became clear. You felt his lips curl into a knowing smile at your reaction as he watched your mean facade fall away.
"Mmm," he hummed in appreciation as his eyes roamed over every inch of exposed skin. "Looks like my little wife isn't all mouth after all." He teasingly remarked before lowering himself once again so that his tongue could trace patterns along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.
The sensation left you moaning softly in pleasure at the skilled touch, completely lost in the moment. It wasn't until Miguel's fingers found their way back up to her hips that you realized just how much control he had over this situation.
"You know what?" He said with a smirk pulling back to look at her face before diving down for another heated kiss "I think maybe have to put you in line more often."
You wouldn’t mind that in the slightest.
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eng translation:
1. “Si supiera que eras tan molesto, te habría dejado hace mucho tiempo, Muñeca,” — "If I knew you were so annoying, I would have left you a long time ago, doll."
2. “Las cosas que haría para callar esa boca tan bonita tuya.” — "The things I would do to silence that beautiful mouth of yours."
3. “Gatita” — Kitten
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hannieween · 1 year ago
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reverie | city lights series | h.js
Joshua Hong was many things aside from your hot neighbour—he was a menace, a relentless tease. But most importantly, he was the first guy to ever make you feel wanted. And you were yet to know how dangerous that was.
✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: smut (18+) ✮ word count: 16.2k ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbors with benefits
› part i — link to my other fics
›🎧: best lover - bibi | thirsty - taemin | crazy like you - chungha, bibi | poison - nct dream ♡︎
› smut tags under the cut
✮ warnings: alcohol use, dubcon: reader is drunk and joshua helps her change to pjs, smut with plot, big dick Joshua, dom Joshua, dirty talk, foul language, praise kink, somewhat inexperienced reader, multiple sex scenes, fingering (f. receiver), oral sex (f, m) guided blowjob, cum swallowing, protected sex, squirting, brat taming: bondage, orgasm control (f), use of toys and overstimulation (f), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f, m), pet names: baby, pretty girl, princess, sweetheart, bunny (hers)
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part ii
"Zero survival instincts," Yen scoffed, "None. Out the window."
"Yen, I'm fine," you insisted. "Nothing bad happened."
She sent you an irritated look. "What if he was a serial killer?"
You rolled your eyes. "He's not, Yen. He's just my neighbor."
"Are you serious right now?" she asked. "The least you could've done was sending me a text: 'hey yen, i'm inviting my neighbour over to fuck me into the next day, don't worry, he's not going to turn me into jerky'."
You laughed at the crude language, your best friend simulating typing on an imaginary phone.
"Shhh, keep it down, Yen," you muttered when you saw people from the tables around you glance at you.
Sitting at a cozy table for two in a charming bar, the atmosphere around him was quiet, with the soft glow of candlelight. The surrounding tables were occupied by couples, either engaged in a romantic conversation or trying to start one.
In the quiet atmosphere, your table stood out as the noisy one, occupied by two women who were indulging in the warmth of alcohol and pastries.
And, truth be told, were quite drunk on red wine.
"If he killed you at least I'd have something to tell the police," she continued with another roll of her eyes.
"But he didn't kill me. We just had sex, that's it."
She looked around your table, and suddenly you could sense that she was really invested. "How was it, then?"
You felt a sudden twinge in the apex of your thighs from just the memory of your last.
"It was so good," you sighed, and leaned on the table. "It was really really good, Yen. The best I had in my life, I think. Yeah, definitely."
"Wow, damn," she muttered, a sly grin appearing on her round face. "Not gonna lie. I'm jealous."
You chuckled. "I'm actually kind of surprised that he accepted, though," your brow furrowed, feeling your cheeks grow hotter in the mixture of being drunk and flustered at the memory. "He is so hot, Yen. Like really, really hot."
"Okay, okay. I believe you," she scoffed. "You know, when I told you to commit to writing sex scenes, I didn't mean to go methodical," she gave you a look and then smiled slyly again.
"What, I felt like I needed to experience the real thing before writing pages about it," you shrugged.
"That's a lame excuse," she said as she swirled her wine glass in the air.
"I think it's working," you leaned your cheek against your palm, your elbow propped up on the table.
"Oh, oh. Can I read the product of your little adventure?" her eyes widened.
"God, no," you recoiled at the thought. "This is just for... inspiration. There's still a lot of things I want to try before finishing the manuscript."
"What—wait a minute," she held up her hand. "Are you going to keep seeing him?"
You blinked. "Yeah, I didn't tell you?" your brow furrowed.
"Do you mean to tell me that you'll be fucking your neighbour until you finish the manuscript?!"
"Yen, it's fine," you shushed. "It's just sex. There's nothing to worry about."
Nothing to worry about. Except there was hardly anything that could take your mind off the memory.
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As you walked to the interior of your building after being dropped off by Yen, all you could keep thinking was to knock on his door. Just go, knock and he'd know. That was your deal.
You have been wanting to do that all week. But you were reluctant about it because you didn't want to come across as needy.
It was now Wednesday, three nights after that night with Joshua. You had slept together, and in the following morning he left.
You stumbled out of the elevator and into the hallway, feeling so tipsy that you almost took a full minute to be certain of which of the doors led to your apartment.
The device on your door was a smart-lock that simply functioned as a key. You didn't bring your keys, so you entered your six number combination.
The beeping noise from the smart-lock of your door indicated that you had only two more attempts left before being locked out of your apartment for the next hour.
You hummed, attempting to keep steady, but couldn't ignore the gentle sway of your body from side to side. Biting your lower lip, you struggled to concentrate, but the effects of the wine bottle were swiftly taking hold.
With a click of your tongue, you stepped back to double check you were standing in front of your door. You were.
"C'mon. You can do this," you hissed to yourself as you tried to enter the combination of your smart lock.
Beep beep. Wrong again.
One attempt left.
"What," you whispered to your lock again.
You tried to rest your head on your door for more stability, but when your forehead landed a loud thud resounded on the hallway.
"Ow," you winced.
Maybe you should ask for help.
No. You can do this. Is a simple stupid lock.
The sound coming from the door next to yours startled you. But you made no attempt to move your forehead from your door, expecting to see either Joshua or his roommate, the latter you haven't met yet.
But the sweet voice calling your name from the next door made you want to sink into the ground and never be seen again.
Joshua doesn't need to see you like this, you said to yourself.
"Are you okay?" Joshua asked, and you jolted to find him next to you, his eyes examining your drowsy ones.
"Um, I can't enter my combination," you mumbled as one of your hands pushed the hair from your face.
"You're drunk," he realized then, his fingers taking your chin for his eyes to survey you, a small smile appearing on his lips. "What did you have?"
Your cheeks were already flushed from the wine, but you could swear a different kind of warmth started burning beneath your skin the exact moment he touched you.
Before you could answer to his question, you take a brief look at him. Joshua wore an oversized gray plaid shirt, a black t-shirt underneath, and light gray sweatpants. A cap adorned his head, hiding his dark hair. You came to the conclusion that, whatever he was wearing, he would no doubt look hot.
Your mouth went dry. "Jus' a bottle of wine," you muttered, trying to brush off his hand but not succeeding.
"D'you have your keys?" he said as you drunkenly tried to enter your combination to no avail. His large hand swatted yours before you could enter any numbers on the pad.
"Keys," you repeated. "Don't think so."
"Let me help you before you lock yourself out," he hushed with his cute smile. "Tell me your combination."
The combination to your smart lock escaped your lips, trusting him with it completely without a second thought. He entered the combination and the lock beeped again, the small light blinking green.
"There you go," he muttered.
"Thank you," you whispered, pushing your door open and turning around to see his face one last time before going to bed.
You opened your mouth, feeling a strange tickling under your skin as you faced him.
"I uh..."
When no other words came out, Joshua smiled softly with a sigh and entered your apartment with you.
"Come on, princess. I'll take you to bed," he muttered and closed the door behind him, taking your hand gently and pulling you to the interior of your apartment.
"Mmkay," you cooed, letting him drag you to your bedroom.
In the darkness of your apartment, you saw him dressed in a way that was atypical of his usual style, almost as if he had thrown on whatever he found first–
"You look cute with a cap," you blurted before you could even stop yourself.
"You think so, princess?" he replied and took his cap off to put it on your head. "You look cute too."
A giggle bubbled up in your chest. "Caps make m'ears look bigger," you slurred.
As you entered your bedroom, you removed the cap from your head and, at the same time, stumbled upon a pile of forgotten clothes scattered on the floor. You vaguely remembered throwing them aside while you were looking for something to wear for tonight.
"Careful," he mumbled, catching you before you hit the ground. "You're tripping with those big ears of yours, bunny."
You burst into high-pitched laughter, which resembled a kid's. As if you had just heard the funniest joke. Joshua smiled as he heard you, an endearing expression on his face.
It made you feel fuzzy inside.
"Why did you drink tonight? What was the occasion, I mean," he asked as he helped you sit on your bed.
He crouched before you and started removing your shoes. Every action was carefully done, nothing was rushed, everything was carried out with delicacy.
"I went out with my best friend to this really fancy bar," you told him with an air of contentment.
"What's your friend's name?" he asked almost a second later.
Then, in the back of your mind where you still had some lucidity, you gathered that he was trying to keep you fully awake as he helped you climb your high bed.
"Yen, Yena," you mumbled.
With a sudden movement, your body fell back against the soft mattress and you gasped. Your head spun rapidly and the rush that ran through your body caused you to giggle.
"Careful there," he cautioned, just as he was taking your socks off. You could also hear him laughing a bit.
"Are you laughing at me?" you whined, your hands instinctively covering your warm cheeks as giggles continued to escape.
"I would never, princess. You're cute when you're drunk," he replied simply.
"Mmm, you don't think I'm ridiculous?" your voice was muffled by the hands burying your face.
"Why would I think that?" you heard him ask.
"Dunno," you mumbled sheepishly. "'m really drunk, J'shua," you slurred.
"I know, bunny," he chuckled. "Where are your pjs?"
You slowly uncovered your face to see him standing before your bed.
"Second drawer," you replied pointing to the drawers next to your bed, feeling your cheeks blaze.
There was no real reason to feel this shy, considering that Joshua had already seen every inch of your naked body. But the idea of him taking care of you took on new meaning in your mind. It made you feel closer to him.
"Oooh, what do we have here?" he said with a cheeky grin.
Then he pulled a pink lace thong, holding it up in the air with his fingers.
"Joshua!" you gasped. "That's not the second drawer!"
He giggled playfully. "Oops, my bad," he said, but continued rummaging on your stuff, pulling out a see-through mesh red bra. "This is really nice, bunny. Will you wear it next time for me?"
You groaned helplessly, but before you could come up with a quippy response, his eyes widened in surprise.
"Princess, you didn't tell me you had toys," he said with a surprised tone, dropping the playful act.
"Stop," you whined with a laugh and turned to crawl across your large bed toward him.
Before you could even make it to the other side of your bed, you stumbled and your face collided with the mattress, making you erupt into uncontrollable laughter.
You heard his genuine laugh resonate through the room, causing a flutter in your stomach, followed by the muffled noise of the drawer shutting close.
"Alright, alright. Time for bed," he announced, and a hand gently flipped you on the mattress. He sat on the edge of the bed next to your body. "I'm going to take your top off, okay?"
You nodded a little too eagerly, and that made him smile with a shake of his head.
"Now don't get any ideas, sweetheart," he said.
Then his hands grabbed the hem of the cute top you wore to your date with your best friend.
As the top came off and you were left under his gaze, you felt as if your whole skin was on fire, every inch tingling with an overwhelming sensation.
But he remained silent. You tried to make out the expression on Joshua's face, while he was deeply focused on his task, giving no signals that he wanted to do more with your body.
"Bra on or off?" he asked softly.
"Off," you whispered, feeling a sudden impatience take over your mind and body despite the effects from the wine still strumming on your ears.
"Kay," he replied in the same tone. "Arch your–"
You instantly arched your back for him before he could even finish the sentence. His eyes examined your face again with a hint of curiosity. 
"I'm starting to think you're enjoying this, princess," he said with a cheeky smile.
When a hand slid behind your back, it was then that you realized he was keeping his touch on your skin at a minimum. Joshua unclasped the pretty bra you wore, his fingers removing the straps from your shoulders without touching your skin.
Something sparked in you when his gaze wandered over your naked skin. Darkened eyes marveled at your tits as your nipples hardened from the bite of cool air and the skin around them bumped helplessly.
A small silent whine bubbled in your chest, your whole body tingling, needing to be sated by his touch. You gulped hard. He noticed.
"Do you want me to continue?" he asked with a gentle tone, so low you barely heard it above the buzzing in your eardrums.
"Yes," you whispered eagerly, looking at his eyes. "I trust you, Joshua."
At that, Joshua stopped and contemplated you. The momentary silence made you wonder if you had said something wrong, and you waited for his response.
But he just booped the tip of your nose.
"Sit up," he commanded with his sweet voice.
He extended his hands out to you to help you reincorporate in your bed so that he could put the top of your pyjamas on your body.
When you lay back on the soft covers of your bed, a sigh came out of you, revealing all the emotions that were bubbling up in your chest.
But Joshua interpreted it differently.
"Don't fall asleep yet. I need you awake for this," he urged with his sweet voice.
For a moment you thought that maybe you looked way too drunk. Perhaps, you felt better than you looked: the sluggishness of your limbs with every movement you made, the heavy eyelids, the clumsy tingling in your cheeks and mouth every time you spoke: all symptoms caused by the wine.
"I'm not sleeping," you said as you blinked slowly.
"Good girl," he muttered.
But the rest of your body was ablaze, desperate for his touch. You inhaled deeply, trying to fill your chest with something other than the desperate need for him.
The room was spinning. Was it spinning a minute ago? Who knows.
"I feel dizzy," you mumbled in a whiny tone.
"Hang on, princess. I'm almost done, okay?" he instructed. Still, you could hear that warmth in his voice. 
With careful fingers, he undid the zipper and button of your pants. You lifted your hips from the bed for him to slide them down your legs effortlessly.
Joshua was piling your clothes carefully on the foot of the bed, you noticed. He folded your pants in half and when he turned to you, he surveyed the lower half of your body, partially naked before him.
His darkened eyes found yours, an unspoken question written in them.
"Off," you whispered before he could ask.
A heavy sigh left him.
"Eyes on me, baby," he instructed again.
Then he removed your white lace thong, with so much care that his fingers didn't even graze your skin. He didn't skip a beat when he was already grabbing the matching bottoms of your bunny pyjamas, sliding them up your legs.
You smiled contently and made a move to sit up on the bed. "Need to wash," you muttered suddenly.
He smiled at the clumsiness to which you lowered yourself to the floor. "C'mon," he extended his hands to you and when you stood, you stumbled backwards a bit.
With his strong hands he helped you get to the bathroom without staggering and stood outside the door in case you needed help with anything, but still giving you the privacy to tend to your needs.
Afterwards, Joshua helped you to get under the sheets and covers of the bed, tucking you in, and then he bent down and placed a sweet kiss on your forehead.
"Such a gentleman," you cooed with a weak smile.
"Here to help," he replied with a pressed smile. "Sleep now, princess. I'll see you tomorrow, m'kay?"
You reached for his hand before he could distance himself any further, stopping him in his tracks.
"Don't go," you mumbled.
He sat back down slowly and placed his hand on your tummy, the mere weight of his hand and the warmth seeping through the fabric of your pyjamas made you repress a whine.
"Sleep with me?" you slurred, clenching the hand that was still clasped by yours.
"You're drunk, sweetheart. I'll come by tomorrow," he said and patted your tummy softly.
"Please? I promise I won't try anything," you mumbled.
You felt your eyes involuntarily welling up a little. You knew it was partly due to the effects of alcohol, yet you also suspected it was because of the emotions you'd been accumulating over the past couple of days.
Looking conflicted, a small guttural groan escaped him.
"Fine," he groaned in defeat.
A smile of victory crept up your face as you did what he asked. He stood from your bed to remove his shoes and the grey shirt he was wearing. You watched him carefully place his stuff on the armchair in the corner of your bedroom.
He lay down beside you under the sheets, approaching you cautiously.
"How do you feel?" he mumbled.
"Better," you sighed softly.
"Still dizzy?" he asked, his eyes hopeful.
"Mm nope," you mumbled, 
Eyeing him shyly, you scooted toward his body and nuzzled softly on the side of his shoulder, feeling his warmth.
"Thank you for taking care of me, Joshua," you said as the scent of his cologne invaded your already overwhelmed senses.
An arm slid beneath your body, pulling you closer to his chest.
"Don't mention it," he replied.
"I didn't ruin any plans, right?" your head snapped back to look at him.
His fingers trailed on the side of your arm, causing goosebumps on your skin at their wake.
"Not really, no," he hummed. "I was thinking about you, actually."
"You were?" you asked in an embarrassingly high pitch tone.
"I wanted to see you, princess," he cooed, moving his head on the pillows to look you in the eye.
A flutter in your stomach took your focus away. Joshua wanted to see you. The way he made it sound was almost as if he missed you.
"Was thinking of knocking on your door."
Oh.
That had an entirely different meaning. Knocking on your door would mean that he wanted to have sex with you.
"You..." you mumbled awkwardly. "D'you still want to?"
Something shifted in your brain. He might have just missed your body, but it was still enough to rouse something within you. The alcohol offered little help, but instead intensified your body's every reaction.
The tingling in your face, the rush of warmth that washed through you, pooling between your legs.
"Definitely not, princess," he laughed softly, putting your ideas to rest. "I won't touch you like this," he finalized sternly.
You let out a whine that sounded more like a childish cry, burying your face in his chest and sighing in frustration.
"It's bad manners to have sex with people who are not sober, baby," he explained, his tone was not condescending, but almost sweet or caring.
"But what if I want to, Joshua," you mumbled, your flushed face still buried in the warmth of his hard chest.
"I'm not going to fuck you no matter how much you beg," he said with a small chuckle.
"But I wan' you to," you whined against his chest.
You were so close to his chest that you felt the strumming of his heart, heard the small sigh leave his body. Your fist scrunched up on his t-shirt.
"You told me you wouldn't try anything, princess," he reminded you sternly.
Joshua took the hand that has balled into a fist, grabbing on his shirt and laced his fingers with yours in an attempt to soothe you.
"Mm, it's jus'—I need you," you mumbled, sneaking a glance in his eyes.
"I'm here, bunny," he muttered softly.
"But I've been wanting to see you all week," you said with a sigh.
Your face grew hotter on your drunken confessions, but you forced yourself to make eye contact with him despite the daze from the wine.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked while the hand that grabbed yours played with your fingers.
"I didn't want you to think I'm needy," you mumbled sheepishly, still trying to hold eye contact, but your eyes were shifty. 
"What?" he asked with a feigned tone of surprise. "I thought we had already established the other night that you're needy. Like, really needy," he laughed.
You scoffed and hid your flushed face on his hard chest again, but he pulled back, his fingers on your chin forcing you to face him.
"I'm only joking, princess," he smiled reassuringly. "Whenever you want to you can let me know."
You opened your mouth but before you could protest, he added:
"As long as you're sober."
You let out a bashful sniffle and pouted.
"Tell you what: if you go to sleep now, I'll give you whatever you want tomorrow. How about that?" he asked, looking down to find your eyes, he let go of your hand and stroked the side of your face softly.
Your eyelids fluttered under his touch. "Whatever I want?" you asked, looking at his rosy lips and then his eyes.
"That's right, baby. Whatever you want," he conceded.
"Mmkay," you mumbled.
You relaxed in his embrace, letting go of your demands at that very moment.
"Good girl," he muttered, pressing his lips on your forehead for a long second before resting his head on the pillow next to yours.
Your cheeks flushed and a fluttering sensation invaded your chest.
"G'night, Joshua," you mumbled a second before you closed your eyes and fell asleep.
The following morning, you woke up to a headache drilling in the back of your head.
You groaned in pain, ears ringing as you opened your eyes to only wince in pain at the faint morning light filtering through the parted door of your otherwise blackout dark bedroom.
Still drowsy you looked to the other side of your bed to find Joshua asleep.
Your breath hitched at the sudden invasion of memories—you had partially forgotten that Joshua had spent the night in your bed with you again.
He was lying on his side, an arm extended to your direction. You had the faint memory of him hugging you close to his frame, so perhaps you fell out of his embrace during the night. 
Joshua's features looked relaxed, peaceful even. His flush lips pursed softly as he swallowed and nuzzled the pillow. The way he looked so cute and innocent made you smile a little. 
With every movement you took, your body protested in pain. But you hurried yourself to the bathroom, taking the time to properly wash and refresh yourself to recover from your hangover.
Under the warm stream of the shower, you mentally retraced the events of the night. The drunken confessions that spilled from your mouth. Joshua's careful hands changing your clothes and helping you to bed.
"How are you feeling?" he asked as soon as he saw you come back to your bedroom, your body wrapped in a bath towel.
He was still lying on his side, but something told you that he woke up the second he heard you leave the bedroom.
"I just have a light headache but I'll be fine," you assured him.
His hand, which was still extended in the same way as when you left, patted the space you occupied during the night.
"Come here," he muttered.
With a sigh that denoted your nervousness, you walked toward your bed and climbed next to him over the covers. You lay on your side, facing him, propping your head on your hand, your elbow on the pillow next to his.
"D'you remember what happened last night? Why I'm here?" he asked, his voice still groggy, but it sounded soft.
"It's not like I was black out drunk," you smiled. "I remember everything, Joshua."
"Jus' wanted to make sure," he whispered.
With a small nod of his head, his eyelids closed slowly and he seemed to dozed off again. His chest rising and falling heavily, his face relaxing to his lips parting a little.
You took a moment to appreciate his beauty before jumping down from your bed, darting your eyes toward the man lying on your bed—to find him asleep.
Then you unwrapped the towel that covered your body. Careful not to make a sound, you busied yourself moisturizing your skin while you cast a few glances at him, making sure he was asleep.
But a few seconds later, you noticed him stir in your bedsheets, his eyelids fluttering slowly as he found you standing before your bed, wholly naked.
Your breath hitched, but curiosity sparked within you when his eyes surveyed your whole body from top to bottom.
Attempting to ignore that he kept his gaze trained on your frame, you busied yourself on looking for something to wear.
"Don't get dressed," he muttered softly when he saw you rummage through your drawers.
You darted a look at him. His sleepy eyes on you, the ghost of a smile on his lips.
"Or do, I don't care. Just come back here," he sighed sluggishly, patting the side of the bed again.
You smiled shyly and climbed back to the spot you had taken a few minutes ago. You slid beneath the bed sheets, next to his warm body.
"You talk in your sleep," he hummed.
Then his hands grabbed you by the hips, with a sharp pull his chest was now pressing on yours, his arms encircling your naked body tightly to snuggle you as if he wanted to sleep again.
It was a sweet embrace, almost too intimate. A part of you couldn't deny you liked it—being this close to Joshua. You grabbed him by the shoulders, uneasy of being fully naked in his tight embrace.
"I–uh I didn't know," you whispered, your heart strumming so hard that you could almost sense that Joshua could feel it against his chest.
Truth be told, Joshua was the first man you had ever slept with. He wasn't your first sexual partner, that much was already disclosed with him—you've had a couple of other partners in the past, but none of them were memorable to even matter.
Joshua was the first to make you feel real pleasure, the first to make you orgasm, to make you feel wanted.
And you were yet to know how dangerous that is.
"What did I say?" you asked reluctantly.
He took a breath, as if remembering and then he let out a breathy laugh. "Bunch of nothings, but you went for hours."
"Oh god," you groaned. "I'm so sorry, Joshua."
"You didn't talk that much the other night," he paused. "But maybe you were too tired the other night to even speak, right princess?"
Your stomach jolted a bit.
"Mmm-mmph. So tired," you agreed despite the growing flush in your face. "Last night's ramble wouldn't have happened if I was tired too."
"Oh, bunny. You think you're so slick. But you're so bratty," he cooed mockingly as his hands explored your bare back, his fingers sinking in the skin of your hips.
"What are you going to do about it?" you asked through a breathy mumble when his hands caused your heart to race.
"Nothing," he stated softly.
A long silence happened between you and Joshua. You almost thought that he might have dozed off yet again, but when you pulled from his embrace, he was grinning menacingly.
"But you promised–"
"I never promised anything," his brow furrowed. "When have you ever heard me say the words 'I promise'? Never."
A frustrated groan came out from you before you could stop it.
"You told me you would do anything I asked today!" you whined, feeling ashamed by his game.
"See, I never promised," he cooed again.
"But you said–"
"And I will do it, sweetheart," he cut in. "But I never specified at what time of the day I'll do it."
"Joshua!" you whined again, feeling the need to cover your flushed face.
He laughed merrily, he was enjoying this.
"I didn't bring condoms," he muttered, dropping the playful smile.
Your eyes narrowed. "You're lying."
"It's true," he put in simply. "Someone went through all of them the other night and I haven't bought more," he emphasized with a cheeky grin, he even shrugged slightly looking as if he enjoyed torturing you.
Which, he probably did.
You were a split second away to throw all away and beg him to fuck you raw. But the last thread of sanity you still preserved in your mind stopped you.
"I forgot to ask," he said suddenly. "Have you made your list?"
You stilled and looked away embarrassed. "Um, I've thought of some things."
"Like what? Maybe we could do something tonight," he replied.
In reality you haven't gotten around making a list of things you want to try in bed with him. Your mind only ends up wandering in sex fantasies of what you'd do and never actually write something down.
"I have some ideas, but I don't know yet," you mumbled sheepishly, darting a shifty glance up his eyes.
The pierced eyebrow arched up. "I'm listening."
A smile appeared on your lips. "You're taking this really seriously," you pointed.
"Of course," he frowned, pretending to be offended. "I want to help my neighbor with her book."
You rolled your eyes with a smile.
"Besides, it's not like I get to do this everyday," he paused. "Well, unless you let me," he muttered, tilting his head forward.
"What?" you asked in a gasp. "Like you don't have people throwing themselves at you at any chance they get."
"Only my pretty neighbors," he chuckled and you playfully slapped his shoulder.
"Seriously, Joshua. You don't get a lot of groupies or whatever?"
He scoffed loudly. "Groupies. What are you, a sixty year old lady in disguise?"
"You know what I mean," you mumbled, starting to feel deeply embarrassed.
"Not really, princess. It's not what you think. I can show you if you want. Tonight," he suggested in a low tone.
The features of his face had hardened, denoting that he was more serious now.
"Tonight?"
"Only if you want to, of course," he shrugged, and you could tell from his tone, the lack of warmth and playfulness that he seemed to be detached.
"I'd love to," you replied and his face relaxed. Was he expecting you to say no?
"Kay," his lips pressed in a smile. "I'll come later to pick you up. And after that we can get into your list, deal?"
"Deal," you smiled shyly, not wanting to express the full excitedness you felt.
You noticed that every time he smiled contently, two dimples appeared crowning his mouth. Joshua sighed and then he cupped your chin with his hand, surveying your face for a moment.
"How's your head, still hurting?" he asked, his other arm still pulling you close to his frame.
"A bit. I'm fine, Joshua. Don't worry," you gave him a small reassuring smile.
"Kay," he whispered and pressed his lips on your forehead just like he did before you fell asleep in his arms.
You felt his lips relax on your forehead but he didn't pull away, his other hand returned to its original place on your waist. You assumed that he was dozing off again, and your suspicions turned correct when his breathing gained more depth.
Then you let yourself be absorbed in his embrace and your hands moved from his shoulders to his hard chest over his t-shirt. You felt the soft thumping of his heart, the slow rhythm of his breathing.
Your eyes darted to his face. He was asleep.
The hem of his shirt hung loose over his collarbones, you felt his soft and warm skin under your fingertips, lost in thought of him. Drinking the sweet scent of his skin and clothes.
Your fingers then wandered from his collarbones to his neck, his Adam's apple bobbed as the pads of your fingers touched it carefully.
But then a larger hand seized yours, pulling your arm above your head as his body pushed your body flat on the bed with a groan. The other hand was seized as well, thus pinning your wrists above your head.
A yelp bubbled in your chest, but when you felt his hard body pressing yours against the bed your curious eyes glanced up to see his face.
But before you could say something, your mouth was clasped with his with a chaste kiss.
"You're handsy," he muttered gruffly on your lips.
The grip on your wrists tightened a bit when Joshua dipped his head on the crook of your neck where he pressed his lips on your skin, to then nibble at your skin with his teeth.
"I wanted to wait 'til tonight but you're so needy. Such an impatient pretty girl," he grunted as his hand grabbed your wrists pressed down on the pillows, making you yelp and squirm.
Being somewhat restrained made you feel restless, but you made no attempt to break free, since you were quickly subdued by the feeling of his breath on the crook of your neck.
"'m sorry," you mumbled just as he started placing wet kisses on your collarbone, making his way to your tits.
"Are you, baby?" he asked, and your eyes fell on his. His pierced eyebrow cocked slightly. "I don't think you're sorry at all."
He let go of your wrists just so he could cup your breasts with his hands and before you could muster a response, he wrapped his mouth on one of your nipples, making you cry out instead.
The feeling of having his hot mouth around your nipple made you shiver, the whole area covered by his tongue and drool felt tingling and ablaze.
Hearing the non-verbal response you made, he moved his mouth to do the same with your other hardened nipple, licking and nibbling at it softly with his teeth. He hummed while doing so, as if he liked the taste of your skin on his mouth.
Your hands quickly grabbed at whatever was nearest, fingers landing on his head as you squirmed and moaned helplessly on your bedsheets. 
He pressed his lips down your sternum and he lowered himself to your belly, his hands parting your legs so he could place his body between them and continue kissing and licking your skin.
"Please-" you whispered as you writhe in pleasure under the touch of his lips.
"Please, what?" he asked as he raised his head to look at you. "What do you want, princess?"
"Do whatever you want, just-" you gulped suddenly. "I need you, Joshua. I've waited all week."
His eyes searched yours, just like he did last night when you were drunk.
"Please," you whispered and that apparently did it for him.
He lowered himself pressing wet kisses on your lower abdomen as his mouth reached between your legs, his eyes darted a look toward yours before his fingers parted your pussy lips carefully, earning a high keen moan from you.
"Fuck. You're dripping," he muttered gruffly as his finger swiped a line on your cunt, making you flinch and moan pathetically. "Practically wetting the bed."
Then his tongue dipped between your parted lips, slowly licking a stripe on your wet folds. You let out a loud moan, grabbing a handful of black hair, making him hum softly when you tugged at it.
Joshua wasn't looking for you to say something, because he quickly continued making out with your clit. You were practically crying out of pleasure when you felt his mouth working on the swollen bud, tugging at it with his lips every time he closed his mouth around it.
You felt your legs shake a bit under the building tension but you didn't budge. A faint voice inside you reminded you to relax, to focus on his mouth kissing your cunt, his tongue swirling around your clit and trailing down to drink you in with a moan.
His hands slid underneath your body and cupped your ass, pushing you up to his face, essentially burying his face between your legs. Joshua's mouth flatly pressed on your cunt as if he were thirsty, ravaging you and humming as he did it.
Then his tongue pressed on your clit, his lips encircling it whole as his cheeks hollowed out, sucking on the throbbing bud. You arched your back, crying out loudly at the feeling of being so close to your release.
"I'm close, so close, Joshua," you whimpered, eliciting a groan from him.
You looked down where his head was nuzzled between your legs and the sight was so fucking good that something in your brain shifted. His dark eyes found yours, and you completely came undone.
The tension in your body snapped, sending waves of pleasure, making your limbs grow numb. You called out his name weakly, your eyes screwing shut at the mercy of the waves seizing your body, making you twitch and gasp in short breaths.
Joshua was moaning just from making you cum. And that could probably send you to the edge again if it wasn't for the new feeling of one of his fingers inside you.
You blinked, feeling dazed and you found Joshua on his knees, his finger plunging in and out of your sopping walls, massaging them gently.
"You liked that, baby?" he asked at the same time he slipped another finger in.
"Yeah," you whimpered. "I've been wanting this for days."
His pierced eyebrow arched up.  "This would have happened sooner if you knocked on my door," he smiled fondly. "But I like that about you—too shy to go knock on my door, but not to ask me to fuck you senseless."
You whined at the same moment his fingers crooked inside you, exploring, looking for your g-spot with the tips of his fingers.
"You like it when I talk to you, right? Your pussy squeezes my fingers whenever I do," he mentioned with a grin.
As if to prove his point, your walls fluttered around his fingers and he chuckled.
"Oh, princess. You're perfect," he muttered gruffly, leaning his body to plant a chaste kiss on your lips.
"God, Joshua," you whimpered, the tension between your legs building up again.
"You wanna cum again, baby?" he asked, grazing your lower lip with his teeth before kissing you chastely.
"Yes. So bad," you groaned, wiggling your hips to get more from his fingers.
"Can you cum on my fingers? Or do you want my mouth too?" he asked, his fingers teasing your cunt, making you feel the drag of his knuckles inside you as he pulled his fingers out and in, making squelching sounds every time he moved his hand inside you.
"Yes, please! I want your mouth too," you whimpered desperately.
His smile was the last thing you saw before he lowered himself between your legs and immediately attached his mouth to your clit. Joshua continued fucking you with his fingers, crooking them to find your g-spot.
"Joshua!" you cried out, your body twitching uncontrollably in your bed. "I'm gonna come, I'm ah-"
Now with his mouth and fingers, the pleasure in your pussy was so much more intense, practically tearing your orgasm out of you as you cried out.
Ragged breaths came out from your mouth, blinking tears weakly as your orgasm sizzled under your skin. Joshua's fingers stopped when he felt your walls relax and slipped out of your sopping core, making you shudder at the emptiness.
Then you were being showered with kisses on your face. You laughed meekly as his lips pressed on yours.
"You're being spoiled, princess," he teased. "Was planning on waiting to make you come until tonight but you're so greedy."
"Mm'm sorry," you muttered weakly.
"Sorry for what?" he asked.
"Dunno," you giggled.
"Are you fucked out already, bunny?" he smiled sweetly at you. "But I haven't even given you my cock yet."
You whimpered and reached for his lips, kissing him sloppily. A moan coiled in your chest when you tasted yourself on his tongue and lips.
Joshua stopped and looked at you with a pleased smile on his face, and a finger caressed your flushed cheek fondly, only to dip his head to kiss you again.
"God. You're so pretty, so fucking hard to resist," he grunted in your lips.
You whined and your hands cupped his face to slot your lips in his. "Please don't," you whispered, your lips grazing with his. "I want more, Joshua. I want you."
His eyes lingered on yours and you could almost see when it clicked in his mind.
"You want me to fuck you raw," he asked with a low tone.
A shiver ran down your spine when you heard his words.
You nodded, biting your lip so Joshua wouldn't notice that you were practically salivating at the thought.
The corner of his lips twitched. "You already came twice."
"But I want you, Joshua. I want to feel you inside me," you whispered, still writhing from your high.
The glint in his darkened eyes made you think that he enjoyed this. Whatever this was: your sanity slipping away at the mercy of Joshua pleasuring you, doing everything you needed from him.
"I can't fuck you raw, bunny," he muttered, pressing his lips sweetly on yours as you whined in his mouth. "It's too dangerous."
You understood that you were clawing at a limit of his, so you backed down. "Okay," you whispered.
"Good girl," he said as his lips captured yours in a heated kiss.
He slumped his body next to you on your bedsheets, resting his head on his hand as the other started caressing your skin affectionately.
"Joshua?" you called. 
"Mm?" he hummed as he appeared to be deep in thought, tracing invisible circles around your belly button.
"Can I-" you sighed when the tip of his pointer finger traced back to one of your nipples.
"Yes?" he asked, smiling when your nipple hardened and then he did the same with your other nipple.
"Can I touch you?" you whispered.
"You don't have to ask," he muttered with a small smile.
The pleased smile that spread on your lips made him chuckle.
You eagerly grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and Joshua understood immediately, sitting up on the bed and took his t-shirt off in one swift motion.
You sat up on your bed sheets—thus realizing that Joshua wasn't exaggerating when he said you were wetting the bed. You ignored the wet stain on your sheets and hooked the waistband of his sweatpants on your fingers.
"Do you want me naked, sweetheart?" he asked, noticing your struggle to undress him.
"Yeah," you breathed, looking at him expectantly.
He climbed down the bed to pull down the sweatpants, he did it efficiently, without making it a show for you but he still looked really attractive while doing so; his strong thighs stepping out of his sweat pants to reveal his hardened length still inside his underwear.
Suddenly you had other plans. You followed him, standing in front of him as he tilted his head to the side. Your fingers tugged at the band of his black underwear, taking it off of him to reveal his fully hard cock.
Then you lowered yourself to your knees.
"I wanna suck you off," you explained shyly, feeling your core pulsate to the mere act of you being on your knees for him.
His fingers grazed your chin. "Have you done this before?" he asked with a low tone.
You shook your head silently, eyeing him and his cock in front of you. Your hands caressed his strong thighs, trailing up to his hips. You realized then that you didn't touch him like this the other night.
One of your hands grabbed his cock at the base, stroking the soft skin of the length to his wet reddened cockhead. It was large and thick, and it leaned to the side a bit. You rubbed your thumb on the slit, feeling his precum leak on the pad of your thumb.
You glanced up at his dark eyes as you took the wet thumb to your mouth, licking his precum.
His breath hitched noticeably.
"I'll tell you what to do," he nodded, then he cupped your cheek, a serious look on his face. "You can stop if you don't like any of it, m'kay?" he muttered.
You wet your lips and nodded. "Okay," you whispered.
"Open your mouth," he instructed gently. You parted your lips and took the bulbous head of his cock and hesitantly placed it in your tongue.
His cock was too big for you to take him deeper, but you experimentally, and almost instinctively, relaxed your tongue under the weight of his heavy cock, wrapping your mouth around the half of the length.
"Breathe through your nose and move your head forward," he muttered and you did so, pushing your mouth on the length of his cock.
"Then back. You don't have to take me all," he instructed, his hands pushing your hair back from your face, caressing your face with his thumbs in the process. 
Whatever he instructed, you carried out without a second thought.
"Good girl," he whispered. 
Hearing him like this only pushed you to focus, despite the throbbing ache between your legs demanding for equal attention.
You discovered then that you liked the act of you taking his cock in your mouth on your knees for him. The walls of your core fluttered and you knew you were getting wetter as you started bobbing your head back and forth just like he instructed.
"That's it, baby. Just glide your pretty mouth on my cock. Fuck, it feels so good, so fucking good," he groaned.
Slurping sounds came from your lips around his thick cock as you picked up your pace. You darted a look up.
When your eyes met, the corner of his mouth curved up. "You look so good with my cock stuffed in your pretty mouth like this," he muttered, his thumb caressing your cheek.
A whimper coiled in your throat that otherwise would have escaped your lips if his cock wasn't stuffed so deep in your mouth. His cockhead was almost gagging you, hitting the back of your mouth every time you tried to push him further.
Drool trailed from the corners of your mouth. You wiped a side with the back of your hand but Joshua quickly stopped you in the middle of it.
"Don't. I like the way it looks," he mumbled, taking your hand to grab at his thigh again.
That made you take mental notes of everything he liked, every reaction you earned you kept in the back of your head. You wanted to pleasure him as best as you could, you made it your goal to earn more pretty sounds and moans.
He shuddered. "Fuuuuck," he groaned faintly again, his voice raspy and guttural.
You glanced up back at him, an idea popping in your head—you liked it when he sucked on your clit, so maybe he would like it if you suck on him too. Your cheeks hollowed, sucking him as you pulled your head back and then pushing your head forward, taking on more of his cock in with each bob of your head.
His head was thrown back, so you couldn't see much of his face. But his throat bobbed when he swallowed and you hollowed out your cheeks for him to moan deliciously. 
"Fuck—shit," he hissed. "If you keep doing that I'll cum in your mouth," he groaned and his hands tightened on your scalp, attempting to pull out.
But you dug your fingers on his thigh, pulling him back as you did it again, bobbing your head faster and hollowing your cheeks harder.
"Is that what you want, baby?" he asked, a large hand cupping the side of your face, thumb tapping you gently to make you look up at him.
You saw the muscles of his jaw twitch when all you did as a response was blink at him twice, nodding your head ever so slightly without detaching your mouth from his throbbing cock.
"Taking my cum the first time you give head—fuck, you're so, so perfect," he sighed weakly.
His fingers clenched on your hair and you knew he was really close because he was breathing out heavily, broken groans. 
"I'll tell you when it happens. Remember to breathe through your nose," he reminded you gently.
You continued moving your head forward, so far that the tip of your nose almost felt his pubic hair, his cockhead bumping the back of your throat, making it hurt a bit. And then sucking on the length moving your head back, breathing in deeply.
Your eyes darted upwards, finding Joshua's face riddled in lust. He groaned, furrowing his brow a bit as his eyelids were fluttering shut and his mouth parted a bit.
"Cumming," he breathed. 
Then he started making the most raw sounds you've heard him utter yet. His moans sounded sweet and raspy, almost as if he were about to start whimpering; all music to your ears. The hand on your hair clenched, hard. Joshua shuddered and with a louder groan his cum was shooting in the back of your mouth.
You moaned with him and stopped moving your head to breathe through your nose, swallowing quickly as ropes of cum filled your throat. It was slightly salty, warm and it was so much of it.
A fiery rush ran down your spine. You enjoyed giving him head and having him cum in your mouth. You loved the reaction he had, the lewd sounds he made, because of you.  
He was breathing heavily—not the way he did when he fucked you into your bed the other night, that was out of exhaustion. This was different, he was heaving, looking like he was elated.
"That was amazing," he sighed heavily once again.
A shudder shook him hard when you sucked on his cock again before pulling it out from your mouth.
"Woah, don't do that," he giggled softly. "Tickles."
You smiled sweetly. "Was it good?"
He bent down to help you up, cupping your face in his large hands to pull you into a heated kiss, you moaned in his mouth as his tongue lapped on yours, probably tasting himself on your tongue.
"The best fucking head I've ever had," he muttered gruffly on your lips.
You laughed.
"I mean it," he nodded, pressing his forehead on yours.
Then Joshua bent down a little and lifted your body up, eliciting a small yelp from you. You quickly grabbed him by the shoulders, wrapping your legs around him.
He gently placed you on your bed and pressed his lips against yours.
"You did really well, baby," he muttered before capturing your lips with his, kissing you softly.
A strange feeling of fulfillment swelled in your chest.
Joshua leaned his head against your chest, seemingly still coming down from his high because when he lifted his head ever so slightly to meet your eyes, he smiled lazily at you.
You returned the smile. Your hand found the nape of his neck and started drawing invisible figures on his bare back. A sigh coming from his lips brushed your skin, making you shiver.
You could get used to this, you said to yourself.
"I have to go now," he muttered, pushing himself from your body. "But I'll come pick you up later, m'kay?"
"What should I wear?" you asked, suddenly feeling nervous at the prospect of going out with him.
"Whatever you want, bunny," he smiled. "You look good in anything... and with nothing at all, too."
A fluttering sensation invaded your chest. You laughed. "Ditto."
He laughed, bringing a hand up to push his dark hair back anxiously. Was he flustered?
He planted a kiss on your lips and stood up from your bed, dressing up quickly. Again, he didn't make a show of it, but you enjoyed watching him nonetheless.
When he noticed your lustful gaze practically eye-fucking him, he smiled. "Insatiable little thing," he muttered, bending down to give you one final chaste kiss. "I'll see you later, sweetheart."
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When Joshua came around to knock on your door, it was eight o'clock.
His black hair was parted naturally in the middle and it looked slightly wet. He wore a white faux leather jacket, white t-shirt and black denim jeans and black boots.
"I'm not ready yet," you told him as soon as he crossed your apartment door.
"I can see that," he smiled, looking at you up and down, noticing the silk robe you were wearing.
"Shut up," you quipped.
Rushing back to your room, you quickly got dressed in the outfit you had decided to wear for the occasion, inferring from the style that you usually saw Joshua dressed in for his gigs. 
Facing the mirror, you thought it was a cute outfit, but nothing prepared you for what Joshua's reaction would be.
As soon as you stepped in front of him, his mouth parted slightly, but was quickly replaced by a smile. He took a step to you, grabbing your hand to pull it up and you understood that he wanted you to twirl for him.
"You're gorgeous," he muttered before grabbing your face with one hand to pull you in a hot kiss.
"Thank you," you smiled sheepishly.
"I brought you something," he muttered in between kisses.
"Oh?" you uttered, being showered by his warm lips.
"But you have to open it when we get back. I just wanted to leave it here before we go," he handed a small black box.
It didn't look like a present, it wasn't wrapped or adorned with anything. You wanted to open it as soon as you took it. It was big enough to cover both of the palms of your hands, and it was somewhat heavy for its size, too.
"What is it?" you asked, looking up to his big eyes.
"It's for later," he replied, you noticed a glint in his eyes.
"Oh," you uttered again, smiling. "What's the reason?"
"Consider it one of the many I plan to give you," he smiled playfully.
You cocked an eyebrow. "Should I worry about what's inside?" you joked.
"It's something I know you'll like," he tilted his head to the side. "Or I hope it does."
Your finger slid on the edge of the black box. You got a faint idea of what was kept inside but decided to listen to Joshua and wait for later.
"Let's go, princess. The boys are waiting for us," he said, taking your hand with his.
"Who?" you asked, swiftly putting the gift on the coffee table and grabbing your purse as you headed out of your apartment.
"My bandmates. You'll like them," he assured you, turning to see you. "They've been eager to meet you."
"You told them about me?" you asked in a high pitch tone.
You got in the elevator together and Joshua pressed the button downstairs.
"I told them I'm bringing you with me and they went crazy about it," he sighed, unlocking his phone to show you a myriad of texts from a Jihoon and a Vernon.
You read the oncoming texts, raging for mostly reactions and exacerbated questions about Joshua finally dating someone. But he quickly shut down those speculations from his bandmates at once by saying you were a friend.
Something else on the screen caught your attention.
"You have seven hundred unread messages? And why do they say you're finally dating someone, what do they mean by finally?" you asked, bewilderedly returning his phone in his hand.
"You are a fast reader," he frowned. "I don't like texting," he shrugged.
"And?" you prompted.
His lips quirked into a smile. "Wouldn't you like to know," he joked, then shrugged again. "I've been single for a while."
"Really?" you asked with a smile, cocking an eyebrow.
"You're in no position to tease me about it," he smiled too.
You brushed him off. "Why are you single?"
"I uh..." he frowned and looked to the floor, as if looking for an answer there, "I haven't found the right person, I guess."
A sudden pang of concern jabbed you in the chest. But you made no comment, just nodded.
"And you?"
"Mmph. Same, I guess."
He looked at you. "Are you looking for something in particular?"
You sighed, contemplating your answer. "Nothing specific. Just… someone who feels right, you know? Someone who matches."
He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I get it. Has to be the right match, or it just doesn't work."
"But it's not like I'm actively looking," you added, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, me neither," he replied, trying to match your tone, but the awkwardness lingered.
Feeling the change, he cleared his throat.
The elevator doors opened and you walked outside of the building toward a large van. Where two men were waiting for Joshua, as soon as they saw you walking at his side, they exchanged a not so discreet look.
Joshua scoffed. "These two," he muttered with a grin.
Joshua opened the front door for you and you got into the passenger seat, noticing on your way that the back of the van was packed with a full drum set and two large guitar cases, a mic stand and sound amplifiers.
"This is Vernon and Jihoon," Joshua introduced you to the two grinning men who looked at you expectantly.
You told them your name with a shy smile.
"Behave," Joshua sneered as he sat in the driver's seat next to you, eyeing at the two guys sitting on the seats behind.
"We haven't said anything!" Jihoon protested with a smug grin.
You wanted to laugh at the way that Jihoon and Vernon exchanged looks once again.
"So... where did you two guys meet?" Jihoon asked either you or Joshua.
You felt like the question was directed towards you. "We're neighbors," you put in flatly. But sensing that you were being shy, added: "I complained at him for being noisy."
"Complained?" he interjected. "More like berated me," he teased as he started the car.
"I did not berate you," you bit back with a smile.
He rolled his eyes. "Put your seatbelt on."
"You first," you mumbled, but you did as he told nonetheless.
Jihoon scoffed loudly, trying not to burst out laughing.
"That's cute," Vernon commented flatly.
"What is?" you asked, turning to see the man sitting directly behind you.
He shrugged.
"It's cute that you're acting like an old married couple," Jihoon translated for his fellow bandmate with a smile.
You laughed. "Joshua is just a tease."
You felt him shift and noticed that he gave you a look.
"Oh, Shua's a nightmare," Jihoon retorted.
"Shua?" you repeated, looking at Joshua and then at Jihoon.
"He has many nicknames, you know. Joshuji, Joshu, Joshie, but the girls prefer Shua," he teased.
"Girls?" you parroted.
"Joshua's fans," Vernon informed, looking at his phone aloofly.
"Instagram fans," Jihoon complemented.
"Mmmph," you hummed.
"He's garnered quite the following," Jihoon teased, enjoying how Joshua was practically seething at him through the rear mirror.
"I imagine. But he told me he doesn't," you quipped.
"What?! He doesn't shut up about it with us," he looked over at Vernon, who just nodded with his head.   
"I can find more drummers, you know," Joshua bit back, looking at Jihoon through the rear view mirror.
"Please," the drummer scoffed.
"So you guys have been in a band for long?" you asked, feeling a certain eagerness to know more about Joshua's life.
"Two years?" Jihoon inferred, looking at Vernon, who just nodded in silence.
"I haven't listened to your music yet," you realized out loud. "I'm excited."
Joshua smiled without tearing his eyes from the road.
You arrived at a place called The Spot. Which was a bar located a few minutes from your apartment building.
Joshua parked the large van in the small parking lot behind the bar for the boys to unload the equipment they brought.
"Come. I'll show you inside," he said, grabbing your hand to lead you inside the dark-neon lit interior.
The bar was a western rock bar with an 80s theme. It had old movie posters and red neon signs on the walls. A U-shaped bar top in the center of the space, a large red neon sign that spelled 'Heartbreaker' mounted on the wall. Next to the booths and tables was a small stage where Jihoon and Vernon were already the drum set mounted.
The bar was not that big, but it was already starting to pack with people.
You sat in the last stool at the bartop, the spot was facing the side of the stage.
Keeping your eyes trained on him. He was scanning his surroundings anxiously, as if he was looking for something but nothing in particular at the same time.
"You can order whatever you want. It's on me," he smiled, and nodded at the two guys behind the bartop.
He fixed his jacket and licked his lips, then noticed your gaze on him.
"Are you nervous?" you asked suddenly.
That drew his big eyes to yours. "Nervous?"
"Yeah, you're fidgety," you pointed.
"I'm not," he said sternly, eyeing you with a glint of annoyance.
You narrowed your eyes. "You are," you insisted. "Why? Is it because I'm here?"
You laughed when all Joshua did was roll his eyes.
"I'll deal with you later," he brushed off before turning away and helping the guys get everything installed.
A pretty girl came forward almost a second later with a notepad and wearing a big smile. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.
You thought about it for a second. "Can I get a virgin piña colada?" you asked, feeling like a kid again.
The girl smiled. "Of course, right away."
Seconds later, the tall man behind the counter handed you your virgin cocktail. It had a cherry on the rim and a small pineapple slice.
"Thanks."
The tall nodded. "Are you a friend of Joshua's?" he asked.
You nodded, looking at his name tag. Mingyu.
When Mingyu smiled, you saw that his pointed fangs adorned his smile in a cute manner.
"You are his friend too?" you asked.
"He's more my boss's friend," he nodded in the direction of a tall guy that was talking with Joshua.
"Does he come here often?" you decided to pry.
"Just every other Thursday," he shrugged.
"D'you have live shows every Thursday then?"
"Yep. We try at least," he said as he poured beer on a crystal jug and put it on the bartop. "We are planning on having stand up nights, but Wonwoo says it's not a good idea," he said, pointing at his partner.
Wonwoo looked up, his ears perking at the sound of his name. "What?" he asked, pushing the rim of his frames up his sharp nose.
"Nothing," Mingyu brushed off.
"Have you thought about having Ladies’ Night?" you inquired, seeing the groups of women fill in the booths around the stage. 
"Huh. Sure, why not," he said in a thoughtful tone. And he turned to his partner. "Hey, what do you think of Ladies’ Night instead of stand up nights?"
Wonwoo shrugged, eyeing you curiously. "Either sounds like more work for me," he smiled shyly at the taller man. "Don't tell Cheol I said that."
The groups of girls coming to the bar, you thought, were due to the fact that the bar was partly cheap and well-decorated. It seemed like a fun place for a mini photo session while getting a few drinks; as you noticed from the people posing in front of the red neon signs.
A second thought was that a large part of the mostly female clientele was because the three guys who ran the bar were good looking.
Mingyu was the sweet, friendly looking guy, tall and buff; he was hot and well aware of it. Wonwoo was the alluring, quiet looking guy, dressed in all black, but whenever he smiled, his nose would wrinkle, telling on his sweet side. And the guy who was talking with Joshua also looked really attractive: tall, with the poise of a commander. Pale blond hair and full lips.
Joshua noticed you looking his way and smiled at you, making your insides jolt in response.
It was almost funny. He'd throw just a glance at you and have your body reacting like crazy.
But you guessed that it was unavoidable.
The eyes on him weren't just yours, but half of the people sitting around the small stage looked at Joshua expectantly as he nodded to his blond friend once and took the strap of his electric guitar to put it around his shoulders.
He did a brief sound check, which consisted of strumming the chords a few times aimlessly. That dragged dozens of eyes to the stage.
The microphone was tapped twice by his finger, as the speakers that played regular music died down, the microphone catching the sound around it and you could hear Joshua clearing his throat briefly.
You noticed the energy change around you, the buzz of the crowd growing quiet and then hushed almost completely when Joshua took the microphone, a white pick trapped between his pointer and middle finger.
"Hi, we're Midnight Haze," Joshua said, "and we're going to be your entertainment for tonight. Enjoy," his lips rose into a smile.
Then he turned to the drummer and nodded. Jihoon moved to get into position on the stool he occupied, lifting the drumsticks in his hands. He tapped them together twice, and with a thunderous splash, the music began reverberating throughout the place.
Then the guitar chords pierced the air and their vibrations could be felt on the barstool you were sitting at. With his eyes fixed on his guitar, Joshua raised his head to place his mouth in alignment with the microphone on the stand.
Under the red glowing light, his face lit up almost ominously as he began to sing. The sweet voice reverberated in your chest due to your closeness to the speakers, but beneath that, you felt a surge of emotion invade your senses as his voice rose with passion, weaving the melodies.
Midnight Haze sounded heavy enough like when a tidal wave crashes, but light and fun enough to dance along. Guitar solos spiral into your ears, Joshua appeared to be enjoying himself while swaying with his guitar, igniting a blaze of raw energy.
You realized that you were not the only one who was awestruck. Definitely not groupies. But there were some girls ogling at him, which, you realized, was difficult to resist.
At least from what you could catch, they had their eyes glued to the lead singer, who was putting on quite a show: dancing with his guitar, swaying his head to the music and smiling at his bandmates in some unspoken exchange.
They played for an hour non-stop, ending with an upbeat song and then he thanked the crowd and said goodbye for himself and the rest of the band. As they stepped down from the stage, the audience applauded and so did you, but you couldn't help but feel that you were left wanting more.
After some minutes, the buzz of the crowd resumed as well as the music from the bar speakers. Joshua made his way to you, sweat on his forehead and his looking a mixture of exhilarated and tired. But he was grinning ear to ear.
"See? No one is throwing themselves at me," he told you. 
"Point taken, rockstar," you rolled your eyes. 
He smiled widely, making your heart lurch. "Did you like the show?"
"Yeah. It was way too short, though. I kinda want more," you smiled up at him, still feeling dazed and a bit deafened.
"Sometimes we play on bigger venues and for longer," he commented, nodding to the small stage that was being cleared up from the band's equipment.
"I'll definitely want to see that," you stated.
His big dark eyes found yours, the corner of his mouth lifted. "I'll help the boys and I'll come back for you," he said and booped the tip of your nose before turning to the stage and helping with the dismounting of the equipment.
You quietly observed him as he busied himself to help clean up the stage. He's so cool, you internally said abashedly. He laughed and joked around with Vernon and Jihoon, drawing the attention of the people around them.
He looked at you from across the room and sneaked a wink. Did he know you'd be staring at him? He waved goodbye to his friends and turned to you.
"Ready, princess?" he asked, looking curiously at your already finished drink. "You had piña coladas?"
"Virgin piña coladas," you emphasized, nodding.
"That reminds me of something," he noted, and went to pay the bill to then return to you. "Come on."
Joshua took your hand as he led you back to the parking lot and opened the door of the van for you.
"We have to talk about some rules," he pointed as he drove back home.
"Rules?" you looked at him. Fuck, he's hot even when he's driving.
He had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other was relaxed on the windowsill.
"Last night I told you I wouldn't do anything to you while you're drunk, remember?"
"I'm not drunk now," you interjected.
"But you told me you didn't care, right?"
"And I don't. You can do whatever you want with me," you blurted, feeling your cheeks grow hotter.
"I need to know when something is completely out of the question, princess," he told you softly, eyeing you again.
"Like what?" you asked.
"Can I fuck you while you sleep?" he asked, by the tone he used, you could tell he was just giving you an example.
You smirked. "Sounds like you wouldn't do that," you retorted.
"I'm not into that," he admitted.
"That's why you couldn't last night?" you decided to pry.
"You weren't sober. Under different circumstances, I might've considered it. But last night just didn't feel right," he explained, seemingly deep in thought.
"Noted," you smiled at the careful consideration he had over you.
"I think we need to establish a safeword," he said after some seconds.
You saw him toy with his lower lip as the other hand still gripped the steering wheel.
"And I use this safe word whenever I don't like something, right?"
There was a bit you knew about the use of safewords—you were a bit inexperienced, yes. But not completely out of the loop.
"If you want me to stop, you say it and I will," he nodded, as he parked the van in the parking lot. Swiftly unbuckling his seatbelt, he hopped out of the van and then hurried over to your door.
You were both on the elevator when you told him your safeword after some careful consideration.
"Got it," he nodded again, licking his lower lip in a thoughtful expression. "Any reason why that's your safeword?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," you quipped, a playful smile spreading on your lips.
He chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eye. "You've been really bratty today, princess," he pointed.
"Oh, please," you pushed his shoulder playfully. "It's just a bit of teasing, can't you handle it, Shua? What are you going to do?"
The doors opened with a soft ding.
"Alright," he scoffed, and with a sudden movement, he bent down to throw you over his shoulder as if it was nothing.
"Joshua! Put me down!" you squealed.
You heard him laugh as he walked with you secured over his shoulder and stopped in what you guessed was your apartment.
He entered the combination to your smart-lock and pushed the door open.
"Now princess, where did you put the box I gave you?" he asked as soon as the door closed behind him.
"Coffee table," you mumbled, starting to feel dizzy.
Joshua didn't put you down as he took the box from the coffee table by crouching down slightly to reach it. Your limbs and head dangled helplessly, blood rushed to your head but as he moved to your bedroom, he set your backside on the bed, setting you down finally.
"Open it," he encouraged, and started to take off his jacket.
"I think I know what I'm gonna find here," you muttered, recovering with a sigh.
"Oh, do you?" he looked up at you while you took the lid of the box off.
The box contained two things, one of which confirmed that your suspicions were right—rope. Tightly coiled and bundled, it was black and new, by the smell of it. It was also soft, when you gently reached out a finger to touch it.
Next to the rope, a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs.
"I got two options for you to choose for tonight," Joshua explained and you found his big eyes scrutinizing you.
Instinctively, you grabbed the rope, since it seemed more alluring to you at that moment.
Joshua smiled knowingly, taking the rope from your hands. "Alright, princess. Rope it is," he nodded.
"But I liked the handcuffs too," you blurted.
"Patience, bunny. We'll have plenty more nights," he stated, making your insides jolt with eagerness.
"M'kay," you mumbled, looking at him anxiously.
In reality, you didn't have 'plenty more nights' as he said, since your deal with him was to be fuck buddies until you finished your manuscript. Which you have been dreading to finish.
He noticed your restive eyes on him and dipped his head to slot his lips in yours, giving you a reassuring kiss.  
"Take off your clothes for me, sweetheart," he instructed gently before pressing his lips with yours.
Your breath hitched so embarrassingly you had to bite down your lower lip. You liked the way he told you what to do, you liked that he took control. So you did what he told you to do.
As your clothes came off, Joshua busied himself preparing the rope for you. But his eyes remained fixed on you as you made a show to take off your clothes for him.
He sat at the foot of the bed—watching you with a sweet smile that didn't fully show his teeth. Your heart fluttered uneasily when his gaze darkened slowly when you got to your see through the mesh red lingerie he asked you to wear.
You unclasped your bra and sheepishly moved it from your chest, throwing it to the floor to then tug at the hem of your thong. 
"Leave that on," he stopped you before you could get to the last piece of your undergarments. 
The rope came undone on his hands, it was longer than you expected. Watching his hand twist the rope in an organized fashion, using his elbow as an anchor while his other hand grasped the other end of the knot.
"You've done this before," you pointed.
"Or," he countered with a grin, "I just know how to tie rope."
You squinted, catching the obvious white lie. "How many times have you done this?" you pressed.
"I don't think you really want to hear the answer to that, princess," he quipped.
Fair.
"Mmph," you hummed.
He sighed and looked at you, almost fully naked under the dim lights of your bedroom. "Yes, sweetheart. I've done this before. Don't worry," he nodded to the bed.
You understood and climbed your bed, moving your body to the middle and lying down on your pillows. Joshua followed you on his knees before you.
He extended the rope out for you, organized in two holes for you to fit your hands inside. You anxiously stuck your hands on each hole, at the same time Joshua slid the knot, tucking it closer to your wrists.
"Is it too tight?" he asked, and you could tell he was excited already.
You shook your head, your eyes trained on Joshua as he bent to finish tying the rope on the rails of the headboard of your princess bed—thus pinning your arms above your head.
"Remember our safeword," he said softly before placing a tender kiss on your lips.
You repeated your safeword, and then you started to feel your body heat in anticipation.
"That's my good girl," he sighed, pressing his lips on yours. "You're good only when you're about to get fucked, right?"
You attempted to give him an answer but his tongue dragged on your lower lip, finding your tongue as he kissed you slowly, enjoying the taste of your lips with a soft hum.
"I'm always good," you replied meekly.
"Oh, sweetheart. If only that were true. You wouldn't be tied right now," he smirked and pulled away from your body.
Joshua jumped from the bed, and started getting rid of his clothes, except his underwear. He smiled when he noticed you looking at him and turned to open the first drawer where he knew now you kept your toys.
Your blood rushed to your cheeks, and involuntarily you moved your hands to no avail—your arms were completely restrained.
"Do you keep them charged, princess?" he asked while he rummaged through your clothes to find your toys on the bottom of the drawer, stored neatly inside a shoe box.
"Yeah," you breathed nervously.
"How often do you use them?" he asked.
"Um... last time I used them was... wh-when I had that dream about you," you stuttered.
"Did you cum, baby?" he asked, looking over to your body as he made his way back to you .
You nodded. "And while I was sleeping," you muttered sheepishly.
He cocked his pierced eyebrow. "Is that even possible?" he asked, climbing back to the bed with two of your toys.
"It was for me," you breathed.
"So you came... twice? From a little wet dream of me eating you out?" he asked, his eyes marveling at the sight of you tied to your bed.
You nodded.
He smiled, letting out a sigh. "My perfect little bunny. Who would've thought you'd be this needy," he leaned in, cupping the side of your face to press his lips on the tip of your nose, then to your lips.
The urge of touching his face too invaded you, your arms twitched, the tight knot of rope stopping you before you could even move any further.
It was almost funny—being aware of the impossibility of touching him but still aching to do so aroused you.
"Joshua... please," you gulped hard.
His laugh came as a surprise to you. "Begging already, princess?"
"I need you," you whimpered, looking at him through your eyelashes.
"But you are in no position to make demands, baby," he muttered and planted a chaste kiss on your lips which you returned eagerly, trying to sneak the tip of your tongue between his lips but he pulled back slightly with a smirk.
"But you said-"
"I know what I said," he interjected. "That was before you acted all bratty today, wasn't it, sweetheart?"
You let out a small whine and bit your lower lip.
"So maybe I won't fuck you tonight, how about that?" he asked, tilting his head to the side, his black bangs obscuring one eye.
"You wouldn't do that," you whined, writhing on your bed, the restraints stopping you before you could do anything at all.
"Careful there, princess. These might be soft but I bet you bruise easily, don't you?" he asked, tugging at the knot pinning your wrists.
"Joshua!" you squeaked.
"Yes?" he met your eyes, giving you an innocent look.
It was insane how controlled he looked, the way he looked at you as if you were his prey and he were just toying with you.
You fumbled for the words, but as his eyes bored into yours, you felt at a loss.
"Joshua, please," you whispered when his lips found your sweet spot between your ear and jawline, making you moan when his lips sucked softly.
"Keep begging all you want, baby," he muttered, and you just knew he was smiling.
His hands trailed down your body, roaming, caressing your breasts and playing with your nipples using his thumbs. You moaned helplessly and grinded your hips against the growing bulge of his dark underwear.
"Desperate little thing," he groaned, lowering his body to attach his mouth to one of your nipples, making you cry out loudly and try to reach for his black hair.
Since your head was propped up in your pillows, you had a fairly good view of him biting and sucking at your nipples, it wasn't hard, but just enough to make you squirm and whimper under him.
"You have the prettiest tits, baby," he muttered as he nibbled softly at one of your nipples. "Can I mark them?"
You nodded as his gaze found yours. "Yeah, p-please do," you urged.
The corner of his lips lifted before pressing his lips on the underside of your tits and sucked softly. You moaned softly, wanting to run your hand through his hair, but not being able to make you feel more uneasy.
"Oh, Joshua," you whimpered as he made a trail of angry red spots on your tits. It was a strange feeling, having his hot mouth sucking on the skin around your areolas.
"I like these," he muttered, toying with the hem of your thong. "I love that you remembered to wear them."
"How could I not?" you quipped, feeling a bit breathless at the sight of him slotting his head between your thighs, kissing your pulsing clit through the meshy fabric of your thong.
"You could be a sweet talker when you want to," he smiled before pressing his tongue flatly on your core, making you cry out.
He sucked gently at your clit for a moment and then pulled his tongue away, hooking his fingers on your thong to slide them down your legs.
You saw him purse his lips directly above your pussy, and spit fell from his mouth, coating your clit. The sight of it alone made you utter a ridiculous sound.
And just when you thought he was going to continue eating you out, he grabbed something he had hidden beside him on the bed, and you realized by the pinkish color on his hand what it was.
"D'you use this often, sweetheart?" he asked as he pressed on the button of your rose vibrator.
He gently parted your pussy lips with his fingers, making you whimper when he placed the sucking tip of the vibrator directly on your clit.
"I... sometimes," you answered as the toy sucked your clit in its mechanical, trained patterns.
"And what about this one, baby?" he asked softly, grabbing with his free hand a wavy glass dildo.
You groaned, feeling both aroused and embarrassed. If you had your hands free, you'd use them to cover your face.
"What's wrong, baby?" he giggled, seeing your reaction. "I saw your collection of toys. I have a rough idea of what you like, but I want you to tell me."
You rolled your eyes, deeply flustered.
"That's my favorite," you pointed with your nose to the clear dildo, adorned with a pink heart at the end. "But if I want to... do things quickly I use this," you pointed to the toy trying to swallow your clit.
"Oh, really?" he smirked and bent forward to plant a sweet kiss on your lips. "I love the idea of you fucking yourself with your toys, princess," he told you before he kissed one of your hot cheeks.
"You do?" you asked in a high pitch tone.
"Yeah," he breathed, and you just loved the way he said it. "My pretty needy bunny, bouncing on a fucking toy. Now, that's something I'd like to see."
You moaned in his lips. But he pulled away too soon, suddenly turning off the vibrator, making you groan at the loss of stimulation. Then he spit on the tip of the dildo, coating it completely with his drool.
Joshua had a grin on his face when you whined loudly at the sudden intrusion of the glass dildo, the bulbous tip pushing your walls open.
"I see why you like this," he muttered as he pushed further into the second wave. "It looks insane, baby. Your pretty pussy is swallowing it in," he whispered.
The dildo was only halfway in, but apparently that's what Joshua wanted because he started rocking it back and forth in your walls, at the same time he clicked the vibrator on again and attached it to your swollen clit, sucking and sending waves through your body.
You moaned and gasped. You had never had both toys on your cunt before, for obvious reasons.
But the vibrator was relentless and the combination of both was making you writhe and cry of pleasure, feeling really close to your release.
"Joshua!" you cried, writhing in your bed so desperately that the headboard of your bed rattled a bit. "Please, please, don't stop." 
"Are you going to come, princess?" he asked and you nodded your head frantically.
He pulled the toys away from your throbbing cunt in a second. You blinked and furrowed your brow at him. 
His lips were clashing on yours before you could utter a word. He moaned softly as he swiped your lower lip with his tongue.
"Remember how bratty you were today, bunny," he muttered gruffly. "I want you to think of it when I allow you to come."
"Joshua, please, just-" you moaned pathetically, trying to push your hips to the dildo still held directly in front of your sopping core.
"What, baby? What do you want?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.
"I want-" you gasped and gulped.
"Do you want me to keep fucking you with your toys? Or do you want my cock?"
The rope around your wrists tightened when you desperately tried to move your arms. "I want you, please Joshua" you whined.
He hummed, seeming to consider it. "Such a greedy girl," he muttered while he kissed you slowly with his wet lips. "Only behaves when she wants my cock."
The vibrator clicked on again under his thumb, attaching it to your clit again and thrusting the glass dildo on your fluttering walls. You contorted in your bed, trying to get the best out of the pleasure from the toys to sate your sopping core, biting down the inside of your cheek to stop the whimpers and sobs.
"I want to hear you," he said and you cried out instantly, feeling so close again to your release.
You screwed your eyes shut, propping your feet on the mattress to try and thrust your hips further on the dildo, trying to fuck yourself faster on it.
You arched your back just as you were about to have your much desired orgasm. But then Joshua set  the vibrator aside and from your clit.
"Please, please, please," you moaned over and over again. "Shua, please, I need you. Please, fuck me."
Then he pulled away from your body, with one swift movement he got rid of his underwear and slotted his body between your legs. He was sliding down a condom and before you could see what was happening properly, he was pushing his cock in your core with a loud groan.
You cried out in both pleasure and pain as he immediately started thrusting his big cock inside you, pushing your walls open for him.
"Fuck, baby. How are you still this fucking tight?" he groaned, his hands grabbing your hips as he pushed himself until he bottomed out and you could feel his full length inside you.
"Shua," you cried weakly.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he asked, pushing into your walls slowly.
"'m fine," you whimpered, closing your eyes to savor the pleasure of finally having him inside you as best as you could. "I just- I love having you inside me."
He giggled sweetly. "You do?"
You nodded with your head. "I love it s-much," you mumbled. "It feels so good."
"You feel great too," he said in a strangled voice.
Then Joshua started thrusting faster and harder, making your body bounce on his cock and the headboard slam repeatedly on the wall. You closed your eyes and swallowed hard as Joshua quite practically fucked you into your bed loudly.
You moaned deliriously when you felt the vibrator attached to your clit again, crying out when it started sending pulsations relentlessly, just as Joshua's hips buckled slightly, and his thrusts became more precise and calculated, holding your hips down with one hand.
"F-fuck," you whimpered, your eyes welling up with tears as you could feel yourself weaken under so much pleasure. 
"Too much, baby?" he asked and you picked up on the hint of concern in his voice.
"'m fine, Shua," you replied in a hoarse voice, blinking your tears helplessly. "I'm-m fuck-"
"You're squirting, baby," he told you in a low tone of awe, his eyes trained on your cunt as he plunged his cock inside you, his hand still pressing the vibrator on your clit.
"But I'm not coming," you protested, lifting your head to see but his hand blocked your view.
"I know, sweetheart," he smirked. "Tell me when you're close."
A frustrated groan fell from your lips and threw your head back against the pillows, avoiding answering.
Joshua let out an amused sigh at your small tantrum and you looked at him—he looked mesmerized. His lascivious eyes trained on you, his lower lip trapped behind his teeth, his black bangs stuck against a light layer of sweat that covered his forehead. 
He was on his knees, sitting back on his heels, the muscles of his abdomen tightening with every thrust, your legs draped on his thighs, a hand grabbing your hips, holding you in place while the other kept the toy pressed on your swollen clit.
The sight alone made your walls flutter and clench around him. You wanted to grab him, to feel his skin. The rails to which you were tied to made a rattling noise when you tried to move your arms.
The pressure building inside you from the toy pressing your clit and his cock pushing inside you—you moaned and squirmed on your bed.
"Shua, 'm close, fuckfuckfuck 'm so close," you whimpered, blinking some tears helplessly.
"What did I tell you, princess?" he pushed his cock inside you in a more demanding way, as if trying to rip your orgasm from you.
"I'll be good, Shua, I'm sorry-," you breathed desperately. "Jus' le-let me cum, please?"
"You learn fast," he praised with a lazy smirk. "You can cum, baby," he nodded, his face riddled with lust.
A second later you were writhing, crying out his name, the rope tightening around your wrists as you came hard, back arching and walls spasming erratically around his cock.
"Joshua," you breathed as he rode your high with precise and calculated thrusts.
A faint thought appeared in your mind—you probably looked like a mess, tied to the rails of your bed, hickeys all over your tits, crying and babbling nonsense.
"Fuck, I can't—Shua," you moan an writhed, feeling your core ache and spasm helplessly under the overwhelming stimulation.
"Are you safewording, bunny?" he asked, again, there was that tone of concern.
You shook your head weakly on your pillows. "No—don't stop, I want you, oh Joshua—fuck, fuck!"
You tried to press your ass down on the bed, trying to create some distance from the painful sensation in your oversensitive clit. Joshua appeared to be reading on how your body reacted, and changed the mode of the vibrator to a more delicate one. 
You screwed your eyes shut, feeling like you could sink into a void from all the pleasure your body was feeling, it was almost breaking you. 
You heard a soft sigh. "My pretty bunny. Do you like being fucked silly?" he was smiling from the tone of his voice.
"Love it—love having your cock inside me s'much," you replied almost instantly in a slurry babble.
That made him laugh. "Can you give me another one then, sweetheart? Cum for me again."
You nodded, savoring your fourth orgasm of the day. Your fingers clenched the rope as a form of soothing your body from the waves of pleasure threatening to wash over you. 
"Shua," you whimpered.
"I know, baby," he groaned, blinking slowly as he threw his head back ever so slightly. "I know."
Something snapped inside you, making you close your eyes so tightly you saw colors and then a slew of cries and hoarse moans came out of your mouth until you were breathless and crying from the overwhelming pleasure, the tears running down your temples.
"Fuck, baby," he groaned, and you knew from his face that he was cumming with you. His slightly parted mouth, eyelids fluttering, fingers digging at your hips.
The slamming noises from the headboard against the wall of your bedroom ceased, as Joshua threw the vibrator across the bed, his thrusts lazily coming to a stop with a last strangled moan.
You saw him bend his body forward to untie you in a swift tug of his fingers.
Then his hands were cupping your face, his lips slotting in yours, kissing you fervently.
"You're so good for me, bunny," he muttered in between kisses. "So, so good for me."
Your arms languidly wrapped around his neck as you returned his heated kiss. You moaned at the feeling of having his hot mouth on yours, savoring him.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked after you didn't respond.
"Uh-huh," you replied weakly.
He pressed his chapped lips in a smile that made your heart jolt. Looking at you with a glint of endearment as his fingers gathered some tears that were gathered in the corners of your eyes.
"You sure?" he whispered, his eyebrows knitting together.
You nodded. "'m sure."
"D'you want me to stay?" he asked hesitantly.
"Please?"
He blinked slowly at you, a cute smile stretching his lips. "Of course," he nodded. "Let me take care of you then."
He planted a soft kiss on your forehead and left the bed against your small groan in protest. When he returned a moment later, he had discarded the condom and you could hear the faint noise from the shower running in the bathroom.
"Don't move. I'll carry you," he said as he slid his arms beneath your body, bringing you up to his chest effortlessly.
"Thanks," you mumbled, feeling yourself come back to your senses.
"Don't thank me, baby," he mumbled, glancing at your face with a cautious look.
He set you down on the floor and guided you to stand under the showerhead. The warm water worked its magic, reviving your muscles and senses back to life.
Joshua was looking at you with his curious eyes, as he usually did. But this time, he looked kind of worried.
"Was it too much?" he finally asked as he watched your body soak in the warm water. "You're really quiet."
A reassuring smile crept in your lips. "I'm fine, Joshua. You don't have to worry about me," you replied.
"But I do, let me worry," he said, taking one of your hands to examine your wrists, which were reddened.
Your heart jolted again. "I liked it, Shua. Otherwise I would've told you, right?" you mumbled sheepishly.
His big eyes met yours, and you could see his features relax. His hand released yours to find your nape and pull you into a tender kiss.
"Thank you for trusting me," he muttered, resting his forehead against yours.
It was deafening and alarming—your heart was strumming against your chest, fast; a flutter of nervousness in your tummy. Fuck, this can't be happening, you told yourself. But a part of you knew this was bound to happen.
You were falling in love. 
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✮ a/n: first of all: can we pretend that vernon knows how to play the electric bass for the sake of this chapter pls (˘・_・˘)
thank you to everyone who showed love to part i and for the ones who waited for part 2 ty ty ty! i made this chapter extra juicy for those who waited tehe
what do you guys think Midnight Haze sound like? i thought of something like nothing but thieves or sam fender [especially this cover song] but do let me know your opinions! [links re-direct to youtube vids]
you can send an ask, chat with me, or drop your comments don't be shy (◠‿◠)
✮ READ PART 3 !! ✮
click here to join my taglist (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
toodles
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thewintersoldierdisaster · 9 months ago
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all my mat fics are linked below with a word count and little summary. i’ll add to the list as fics get written. hope you all enjoy 🫶🏻
* indicates smut
nathan scott era* (4.3k)
hanging out in a dive bar on long island, the last thing you expect to see is mat with a guitar over his shoulder, joining the cover band on stage
oh and it’s alright (4.8k)
after spending the day hanging out with the team, you have some news for mat
santa & baby (3.4k)
you and mat bring talia to meet santa at the islanders family holiday skate
twisted in bedsheets* (6.2k)
mat’s a blanket thief and tries to make it up to you
rough & rowdy* (4.5k)
after mat’s fight during the blackhawks game, you’re both worked up with extra energy to get out of your systems
get your game on go play* (7k)
all star weekend with mat in toronto is one to remember
my hand is the one you reached for* (3.3k)
it’s ethan and lenasia’s wedding day and mat’s the best man. it’s not your fault that he looks so damn good in a suit
like something from the movies (4.9k)
sunrise on the beach with mat becomes your favorite memory
a mat by any other name would taste as sweet (2.3k)
you take advantage of mat’s sweet tooth to trick him into doing a tik tok video with you
win and in* (2.7k)
mat and the boys clinch a playoff berth in game 81, you celebrate with him when he gets home
a face for broadcast (2.9k)
the msg broadcast gets double the barzal men for a little bit
kindergarten blues (4.3k)
it’s talia’s first day of kindergarten and neither you nor mat is handling it particularly well
convince me (1k)
roping mat into another tik tok trend ends pretty much not how you expected it to go, but you’re not complaining
dirty thirty* (10.9k)
you turn thirty and mat makes sure it’s a birthday to remember
oh, what a flight* (3.7k)
mat’s bored and horny on your flight to venice and it doesn’t take too much convincing to get your on board with his plan
i want you, i need you, oh god* (3.5k)
mat comes home from golf to find you set up for another tik tok video, much to his surprise and excitemen
slow down, you’re doing fine (4.2k)
being a bridesmaid in a wedding out east is the perfect reason for a little family and friends getaway, but you can’t completely let go of your anxieties
oh my, good lord* (2.3k)
in your second trimester, you’re constantly worked up and desperate for mat, in any shape or form
plotting, planning, & pranking (3.2k)
during a visit, you and liana convince may to join you in another tik tok video, with a twist
headacanons
mat and comforting you on the phone
mat and his birthday
mat and his birthday (squeaks verse specific)
mat and his slutty summer shorts*
mat and father’s day
mat and the green suit
mat and your bad day
mat and kid pranks
mat and the condom incident*
mat and his kinks*
mat and the origin of ‘squeaks’
mat and the eras tour
playlist
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honeybubbledivination · 4 months ago
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What do you need to hear right now? 🍯🐝
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✨ Hello, hello, busy bees! ✨
Today, I just felt like pulling some cards and seeing what happened! Below, I have some cards for you to choose from!
[At the end, I have my ko-fi linked if you’d like to donate! Not required! Just appreciated if you’re feeling generous!]
[Cards to choose from are from the deck ‘The Divine Masters Oracle’ by Kyle Gray and Jennifer Hawkyard’]
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Pile One:
Isis - Calling Your Power Back
‘Grapejuice’ by Harry Styles “There’s just no getting through; without you…”
‘Angels On the Moon’ by Thriving Ivory “Don’t tell me if I’m dying, ‘cause I don’t wanna know; If I can’t see the sun maybe I should go…’
‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: The Emperor, KnoC, 7oS, KoP, 6oP, QoP, 2oS, KoS, 10oC, The Empress, 2oW, The Magician, 7oW, The World, The Chariot, 9oS, Judgement, 10oS, The Devil, The Hanged Man, 4oC, KoC, The Hierophant, 4oP
‘Oracles of Shadows & Light’ by Lucy Cavendish and Jasmine Becket-Griffith: Marie Masquerade //Glamour, intrigue, drama. Dried-Flower Fairy //Sweet Memories. Sea Storm //Calm amid chaos. Witch at the End of the World //An important end, a new beginning.
‘Moon Magic’ by Marie Bruce: Blood on the Moon, Star Gazer, Toad, Arcturus, Wolf Moon, Moon Stuck
Hi, Pile One! I feel as though I’m speaking to a peer. I’m 22, so you might be close to my age. Either that or you have a pretty youthful energy. I also feel a soft masculine vibe from this pile. Which leads into the reading. You know you don’t have to be all macho to honor your masculine side, right? Masculinity is about providing and strength. It’s not about being a massive dickhead. You can be ‘soft’ and still be a good husband and father. You aren’t a pansy or anything like that. I feel that you probably have family or friends who have more “traditional views”. But, no offense, they’re idiots. You’re uniquely you. You don’t fit into the boxes your social group tries to put you in, and that’s okay. To hell with them! Do what makes you happy, honey! Be you! You aren’t alone in not liking labels. You are human. You don’t have to be put into a box. Live freely. You may be highly sought after, but you aren’t making good friends or lovers. You have a very sweet air about you once you start to open up to people and most of those people tend to take advantage of you. You may want to pursue something in fashion or you might have a keen eye of what looks good and what doesn’t. You may tend to dress down to keep eyes off of you, but if wearing cute clothes makes you happy then do it! Who cares what anyone says! This is your life and you deserve to present how you want! Your new life will always cost you your old one. Don’t be afraid to let people, things, or situations go to move forward with who you truly are and what you truly deserve. Have the confidence to be who you truly are! And honestly, your family isn’t going to care that much. They’ll come around and truly just be happy that you’re happy. When you feel good about yourself, you do better in life. You have the ambition to go after what you want and take it. Plus, being a people pleaser is a form of manipulation. It’s not good to lie to yourself and in turn lie to others. Be mindful. You aren’t a bad person or less than for being ‘different’. You’re just you. And that’s exactly what you’re supposed to be, little bee!
- Bunny 💛🍯
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Pile Two:
The Blue Beings - Light Transmission
Gold Rush - Taylor Swift “Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you…”
Permanent Vacation - Arrows in Action “I found my peace; In places I had never been…”
‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: Judgement, The Lovers, The Fool, 3oP rx, 8oS, The Hierophant Rx, 9oP, 6oP, QoW, 10oP, The Wheel of Fortune, KoC, 3oC, 9oC, KnoP, 7oC, 8oC, 1oP, 5oP, 10oW, PgoW, 7oW
‘Oracles of Shadows & Light’ by Lucy Cavendish and Jasmine Becket-Griffith: Sea Storm //Calm amid chaos. I Am Kali //From death comes rebirth. Fairy of the Divine Hand //Intoxication, distorted view, overindulgence! Snow Angel //The signs are with you already!
‘Moon Magic’ by Marie Bruce: New Moon, First Quarter, Esbat, Black Cat, Unicorn Moon, Glimmering
Hey, Pile Two! You’re living as your authentic self! Congratulations! I feel like this took you some time and you may have felt a little called to pile one at first. I see that you’re getting to go out and party and have fun with new people! Black cats might be significant to you. (I take them as good luck!) You’ve learned to keep friends close, but not too close. You have good boundaries with other people and how the interact with your life. But, do you have good boundaries with yourself? Yes, you’re having fun and making money. But, are you remembering to keep your limits in mind? Are you overindulging in sex, booze, or just staying up too late? Make sure you’re still focusing on how to make yourself feel good, without getting lost in it. I’m so proud of you, though! I know it’s hard to find the balance, especially when you’ve only recently learned you DESERVE to feel good about yourself and have fun. But remember to reel it in and relax sometimes. You don’t have to go, go, go. And you don’t have to be lazy or greedy either. Just find balance in all that you do! Great work on choosing yourself, Pile Two!! To add a little treat for all your hard work and continued efforts to better yourself, you seem to have love offers coming in! That’s right! You’ve got options! I feel like you’ve been manifesting them (through prayer or just having something like a Pinterest board with relationship ideas and goals). They’re on their way! Keep yourself in check to be the best version of yourself for YOU and how you want to handle these new love offers!
[P.S. you don’t need as much confirmation as you think! Start trusting yourself more, busy bee. You’ve made it this far all on your own, why have still doubt yourself?]
- Bunny 🍯💛
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Pile Three:
Hanuman - Devoted Warrior
Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowie “Pressure, pushing down on me; Pressing down on you…”
Take Me To Church - Hozier “I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies; I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife…”
‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: The Magician, The Tower Rx, 8oW, The Lovers, The Devil Rx, 2oC, PgoP, The Moon, The Empress Rx, 3oS, 7oS, 4oS, KoS, 5oC Rx, 6oC Rx, 9oS
‘Oracles of Shadows & Light’ by Lucy Cavendish and Jasmine Becket-Griffith: Autumn Is My Last Chance //Please don’t lose hope! Strangely Lonely //Holding on way too tight. Witch at the End of the World //An important end, a new beginning. Fairy of the Highlands // It’s time to be brave.
‘Moon Magic’ by Marie Bruce: Sky God, Nightshade, Toad, Star Gazer, Full Moon, Moon Dust
You’ve been through the wringer, pile three! I see that you’ve been put in a situation to where you’ve had to pull away from a toxic situation involving a feminine energy who wasn’t reciprocating what you were giving them. This was really hard for you because you’re loyal and devoted. You would never turn your back on someone you love, but they turned their back first. You avoided a tower moment by stepping away and being firm in yourself and your morals! You aren’t a bad person, you just know when it’s time to cut the crap and leave people behind! Way to go!! I see that because of being able to cut this person out, you’ve made room for someone new! Don’t be afraid to open up and make new connections! Not everyone is here to use you, honey bee! You’ve cut off a lot of people lately or are at least hiding away to try and keep yourself safe. It’s making you lonely and you’re looking at things from a hopeless perspective. You are worthy of good things, love. Release control of what’s happening. Realize you have fought hard and deserve to relax and unwind. You can have fun with other people! Go on dates! Make friends with people online or in person! Go have fun! Get out of the house and go for a walk, you never know who you might bump into! Stop playing it too safe, pile three! Live your life! If you hide away, you’re still letting that old person and their energy have control over you! Remember who is really in control here! Keep buzzing onwards and upwards!
- Bunny 🍯💛
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💛🍯 Bunny’s Notes:
Thank you for buzzing by! I hope that if this resonated with you, you gain the courage to keep being yourself and finding the balance of when to act defensively or when you should turn away from things/people/situations that no longer serve you! Love and light to you all!
If you’d like to tip me, below is the link to my ko-fi! Not needed to enjoy my readings! Thank you so much, busy bees! 💛🐝
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atombombkaytee · 6 months ago
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I’ve watched the entire series again today in a hungover state and I CAN’T DEAL with all the parallels.
I mean, when Lucy finds out about her Dad’s true actions and origins - her whole world falls apart. She saw the vaults as safety - she looked up to her Dad more than anyone else in the world. She learns that he’s lied about who he is as a man and as her father, but also she must realise that the vault’s are hiding their own dirty secrets (especially after her experience at vault 4) and that her Dad is a part of that too. She even says to Max, after leaving vault 4, that if she destroyed a whole community to save him, he would be heartbroken: when that’s exactly what he did on an even grander and more terrible scale. Lucy’s life wasn’t even in direct danger to warrant that reaction - he’s just an insecure selfish arsehole.
At the very same time we see the flashback scene of Coop hearing Barb suggest that they drop the bombs on America. This woman that he loves and trusts and has made a family with - who he said he fell in love with because she always tries to do the right thing. Their reactions at the point of realisation - shock, inability to speak, almost dissociation - are both extremely similar. Him having gone through that betrayal before (and likely plenty of times since) is EXACTLY why he talks to Lucy how he does. He’s preparing her for the eventual heartbreak - because he has experience which states that nothing could ever be as perfect as she claims her life is. When he’s making ass jerky from Roger, he even tells her: there’s what people say they do and then there’s what they really do.
When you look at all of that, really, in the scheme of things, Coop - the man that she’s seen as this inhuman, cruel, murderous monster - he’s the good guy. He too thought his wife’s business with vault tec was abhorrent. Yes, he’s been warped and twisted by the wasteland and by his own trauma - but he does see this brightness in Lucy. He thought she was just naive and full of bullshit (especially being a vault dweller. Something which I’m sure triggered him considering his past with vault tec and the links to his wife) but when she proved herself by giving him the vials instead of letting him die, he’s probably amazed that there’s someone left in the world who isn’t just a liar and a terrible person. He’s so used to betrayal and violence by this point. She’s a good person - a trait that he literally said he was in love with his wife because of. She softens him.
But she also proves herself in another way - by shooting her feralled mother - showing that she’s also grown and learnt that not everything is black and white. It’s not just “good and bad” in this world. And although Coop has questionable morals, he’s honest, like her. He tells it how it is. Plus, after her Dad’s huge life changing betrayal and her time in the wasteland, she understands a little more why Coop has done all the things that she’s seen him do - I mean he did meet her pretty much day one out of the vault initially - hence why she goes with him. He has hardened her up to protect her in the wasteland.
Wilzig even says “will you still want the same things when you’re a different animal altogether.”
My god. It’s just genius. Absolutely genius.
“You comin’?”
Edit: Can we also talk about how Coop is basically the inspiration for the vault boy - who Lucy basically looks to (physically a few times throughout the series) for inspiration to do the right thing. AND the fact that her Dad was obviously a bit obsessed with Coop and probably still was when Lucy was born, seeing as he’d been in a pod and had only just woken up, retaining recent memories. So Lucy likely watched all of his films and her Dad maybe even saw him as a bit of a role model (or at least his in-film characters). AND the obvious exchange of index fingers. Yup. Honestly if this relationship doesn’t become cannon, I will start dropping bombs too.
ANOTHER EDIT: Sorry one last thing but, I just want to add: nothing that post-war Coop does is personal. It’s either: to get a job done, survival, because he’s been triggered by something (understandable after what’s he been through) or, in Lucy’s case, to teach a (admittedly often harsh) lesson. He doesn’t just mindlessly kill - or particularly enjoy killing - he just has no issue with it, it’s all just means to an end. He even still remembers to pay for his tomatoes in Filly ffs haha… I imagine he’s extremely numb and devoid of all feeling - except for when it comes to his wife and little girl. That’s the only time we see more visceral reactions in either actions or dialogue from him. He’s such an intricate character and Walton did an amazing job of portraying him.
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deathblacksmoke · 17 days ago
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love is a gentle thing | n.s. fic
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pairing: noah sebastian x reader (gender neutral)
summary: after going to haunted house with the boys, noah and reader spend the eve of his birthday cuddled up at home.
cw: brief descriptions of a haunted house, mentions of anxiety, 30 year old movie spoilers, lots of fluff
word count: 1.3K
author's note: happy birthday, sweet noah 🩷✨ for the first of the noah requests, @lma1986 requested the bad omens boys and crew doing a haunted house walkthrough followed by some fluffy things at home. hope i did this one justice, my love <3
taglist sign-up | title from "velvet ring" by big thief
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In an unexpected turn of events, you’ve managed to drag Noah here. He had agreed after little more than a mention of wanting to do something fun for his birthday while everyone was in town. Though his concession had been reluctant, you were met with the soft smile that’s always told you he isn’t too put out by it.
As you stand in line, he’s tense beside you. It’s nothing out of the ordinary for him, but you trace a finger along the back of his hand to comfort him anyway. His face spreads into a smile before Ruffilo stretches up on the other side of him and throws an arm around his shoulders. Noah melts into his friend, Nick doing the work to soothe him the rest of the way. You feel so grateful that you can have all of Noah’s favorite people together like this. You knew his actual birthday would be a hard sell, that he’ll want to spend the day holed up inside and you’ll happily join him, but you love that he’s allowing himself to form happy birthday memories, too.
This is much more your scene than it is his, but as the line moves forward, you can feel your nerves kicking up. The website’s promise — Scariest Haunt in the City! — had been a draw when you and Matt were planning. Now, though, your anxiety has spiked. You loop your pinky through Noah’s, needing the little bit of reassurance you find in his touch. He looks down at you before he links your fingers together, giving your hand a squeeze. Still slightly restricted by Nick’s arm around him, he swings your clasped hands gently between you, a mostly-successful attempt at slowing your racing heartbeat.
Upon entry, you’re greeted with a narrow hallway, darkness, dust, and a vague smell of rot. Each creak of the floorboards causes you to jump, your hand tightening more and more around Noah’s until you’re sure you’ll cut off his circulation. The room of mirrors makes you uneasy, especially as you see shadows darting around behind you, unaccompanied by any sound. The anticipation is the worst part of it, never knowing when someone will pop out of a dark corner to grab you. You whip your head around at a distant noise and Folio laughs at you, claps you on the shoulder.
“You’ve got to lighten up,” he tells you, making you roll your eyes. “They’re not allowed to touch you.”
You don’t correct him. After a few minutes pass you get to watch, amused, as one of the scare actors that had been waiting gives Folio a little push. It’s nothing more than a small shove, but it’s enough to spook him. He shrieks and takes off running, squealing a what the fuck?! as he bolts for the exit. At least the rest of you were wise enough to actually read the consent forms you’d signed.
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Noah doesn’t let go of your hand as you exit the house, a reassuring weight in his grasp. You chance a glimpse up at him and find him wide-smiled with sparkling eyes, throwing his head back as he laughs with his friends. 
You feel warm all over, so pleased that you were able to get him out of the house today, that he was able to have a good time. There had been a vague worry that he would hate this, but you had kept your hopes up and all of your anxieties hidden. They’re washed away at the sight of his pretty grin, as genuine as you’ve ever seen it.
“A friend of mine’s band has a show in North Hollywood tonight if anyone wants to go,” Davis interjects. The tiredness is starting to seep into your bones, home sounding more and more alluring, but it does sound fun. Just as you’re about to look to Noah and count yourselves in, he squeezes your hand twice: your agreed-upon signal that he wants to head home. You don’t blame him; it has been a long day. You knock your shoulder gently into his.
“I’m feeling pretty tired, but you guys go have fun!” you offer. A disappointment flashes across their faces, something that warms your heart as you shuffle a little closer to Noah. “Noah drove us.”
You’re pleased to be his excuse any day. They’re softer on you than they are on him, anyway.
As you’re saying your goodbyes, you notice the lightness in Noah’s shoulders that wasn’t there this morning, his characteristic hunch nowhere to be seen. He holds the hugs a little longer than normal, the smile never leaving his face, and you feel so happy. You’re grateful for everyone for helping to make this a good day for him.
He fixes you with his dazzling smile as you walk back to his car, and his joy seeps into you, too.
“Are you happy?” you ask him, knowing his answer but wanting to hear him say it anyway.
“It was a good day,” he replies, his grin spreading somehow wider.
The moment is interrupted by Folio jumping out from behind Noah’s car for one final scare. You let him believe it worked, that you didn’t notice him missing during goodbyes or see his shoe peeking out from behind Noah’s back tire. You give your best attempt at a jump and shocked gasp, and it seems to satisfy him. Noah just pulls him into a hug.
“Thanks for coming, man,” he says, and Folio gives him a clap on the back.
“Come on, Folio, we’re leaving!” you hear Jolly shout. He gives you a final hug before he takes off running back to the group.
“He acts like I didn’t see him running over here the moment the rest of us left the house,” Noah says as he opens the door for you, and you laugh along with him.
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You end the evening cozy on the couch, with a coffee table littered in take out containers and a movie you’ve seen a dozen times before. 
As Billy confesses his plot to Sidney, Noah slumps, resting his head on your shoulder and sighing.
Your brow furrows in concern momentarily, but he has a look of complete calm on his face.
“What’s up, honey?” you ask him. He tilts his head just so, peering up at you with his pretty brown eyes. You can’t keep yourself from running a hand through his hair, giving it a little tug and straightening it again.
“Thank you for today,” he responds. Your body warms all the way through. “I know I can get weird on my birthday. Thank you for making it special for me.”
You don’t tell him that the only thing you’ve ever wanted is to see him happy, but you think he knows.
“Of course,” you offer, without a second thought. You press a kiss to his forehead and his smile makes your heart thud. “I wanted you to make nice memories with your friends.”
“And you.” he adds. And me, you agree, nodding as you run a finger along the nape of his neck, down over the exposed bit of his shoulder.
He sprawls over your lap like a big dog who doesn’t quite know his size. You maneuver him, and yourself, so you’re both lying down with him flush to your chest.
You press a kiss to the flower tattooed at the nape of his neck, your new favorite spot to pepper with affections. His hand rests over where yours is lying on his tummy, his fingers linking with your own.
“I only ever want to see you happy,” you decide to tell him anyway, because he deserves to hear it. He brings your hand up to his mouth, pressing kisses to your knuckles, expressing his gratitude better than his words ever could.
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tags <3
@circle-with-me @darksigns-exe @baddestomens @ladyveronikawrites @sitkowski
@somebodyels3 @sorrowsofsilence @collapsedglasshouses @cookiesupplier @spicywhenspeaking
@lma1986 @abiomens @agravemisstake @cncohshit @xserenax-13
@dominuslunae @poisongirl616 @iknownothingpeople @thisbicc @fadingangelwisp
@alwaysfightforwhoyouare @theanarchymuse95 @flowery-mess
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starberry-cupcake · 7 days ago
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Welcome back!! I hope you're doing well and, if not, I hope my silly ramblings can make your day somewhat better, like the wildcats used to say: we're all in this together ♥
previously, in harrowcita del 9:
this happened
for those of you recently tuning in, this is the tag of all the ramblings
also, I'm officially in the sixth house now, palmolive can't stop me
CHAPTER 46
we're back inside the emperor's bolthole, which is infested
this is what happens when you have a lyctor orgy without the proper protection
gideon is doing her very best to fight the infestation of herald bees swarming and attacking her
she's in harrow's feeble small kitten baby body, so she's dying a lot
I'm gonna try to represent this visually
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gideon keeps apologizing to harrow for getting her bits chewed off and her insides pouring out
and puts emphasis on things she wants harrow to remember
"I saw it eat your thumb—these details are important, so keep up with me—and your thumb was back in the next half minute"
"Child, that bee smashed you"
"I touched your intestines, which is usually what, fourth date"
me:
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so, gideon takes off harrow's excess bones, which are no use to her, and goes further into the emperor's infested bolthole, where she finds mercygirl
mercygirl thinks gideon is harrow at first and, turns out, she was the one who stabbed her
these lyctors istg
can't trust any of them
mercygirl thinks harrow should be grateful that she stabbed her
and she was aware that harrow had "stuffed the soul of the cavalier in the back of her brain"
NOW WE'RE GONNA GET INTO SOME TERRITORY THAT MAKES ME GO ABSOLUTELY BERSERK, SO BEAR WITH ME
I NEED TO GET MY NOTES BACK FROM MY PREVIOUS RECAPS FOR THIS
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she asks what happened with gideon's eyes and, as we have seen in the previous gideon-centric chapter, gideon's eyes are in harrow's face atm, if memory serves
"You're not her—she isn't driving you—but you have her eyes. Why? When they showed me your corpse I didn't think to check the eyes"
"I thought I knew what you were, though I didn't want to believe it..."
now listen, we're starting to tie some loose ends and some of those loose ends are linked very closely to my previous theories
I have been considering the Commander Wake is Gideon's Mom and Has a Personal Connection To Gideon The First and Is The One Connected With The Harrow Notes In Canaan AU for a while now
I need to link the specific recaps where I said this because I need to be transparent about where my brain was at
Evidence A, Evidence B, Evidence C, Evidence D
there's probably more but those are pretty clear
I swear to god if I was right about this I'm gonna screencap my own recap and put it here when the time comes
I've been marinating this one for months
I actually forgot how much of that I had written down in the recaps until I re-read them
mercygirl says that she thought the commander was a bad girl workaholic who put business before family, that she made her "the dolls" and she must have "played silly buggers with the emission" and that "gideon was on her tail"
"And then Gideon ruined everything. Then the commander ruined everything. Then you ruined everything. This could have been over eighteen years ago"
apparently gideon the first was "obsessed" with the commander, which accounts for some of the notes harrow read
I'LL GET BACK TO THAT WHEN WE GET TO THE SLEEPER, MY THEORIES CONTINUE
mercygirl starts calling gideon all sorts of names, including mutant, and keeps being bothered about her eyes
"Lipochrome. Recessive. You are the evidence. He lied to us...and you are all the proof I needed" "Cytherea would have known as soon as she looked at you"
is gideon the first gideon's dad??????? I mean, I always though he might have Something with the mom but my money was on gideon being made through science rather than Traditional Means
I mean, having lyctor genes in some way would account for gideon being a demigod, something I said with those words when I was reading gideon
also, remember when not!dulcinea told gideon she was prettier than the other gideon?? because I've never forgotten
mercygirl confirms that gideon the first was sent to kill gideon's mom
who, according to mercygirl, would have hated to be called a mom
mamá luchona intensifies
all of which aligns with my theory very nicely so far
she calls gideon more names, including "abomination, you heresy, you failed ambition nineteen years too late"
gideon reacts not wanting mercygirl to touch her instinctively
man, my theories are RIGHT THERE to be fully connected I'm BITING THE DESK
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but there's no time for any more talk because mercygirl is trying to kill gideon in harrow's body
but she is stopped
she is shot
by not!dulcinea
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but I don't think this is not!dulcinea, I previously mentioned her maybe being used by someone, not sure if it's possession or being used or what's going on but I don't think this is her
I thought about gideon the first being the one to do it but if he wanted harrow dead, I'm not sure he'd save gideon now
not!dulcinea says "with a tone that wasn't" hers: "goodbye"
gideon ends the chapter with "what the fuck is going on?"
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CHAPTER 47
we're back at canaan au and it's time to perform an exorcism
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harrow has a new note
I've been connecting those notes to gideon's mom possibly commander wake (as linked above)
the latest note continues to add to my theory
"end of the line. falling. oxygen can't last the distance and won't redirect power from the payload. instead I will make you watch every moment as I get the last privilege you cannot enjoy you bygone son of a bitch. I hope you're both as sorry as I am."
I still think this is gideon's mom because that's how she died, I mean, she got to the ninth in a suit without air and gideon still had some, allegedly
I've been thinking that one of the two people involved in the situationship triangle described in the notes was gideon the first, and that maybe the other was dr reverend emperor john
he's the most likely to be a bygone son of a bitch, so maybe I'm right
so, if harrow connects the notes with the spirit that's haunting her
and I'm connecting them to gideon's mom....
what if it's her that's haunting harrow?????
I mean, Waker
I NEED TO STOP GETTING INTO THEORY TANGENTS
anyway, all of the ghoulie ghostie friends are getting together for a sleepover exorcism
I didn't use this when I should have, back when the different aus were going by, but here it is
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real!dulcinea says "Pal always said I'd be the death of him. And I was..."
he died being a weenie but he's not all the way dead, so it's fine
harrow questions why everyone wants to help her but everyone's totally fine with all this, for different reasons
real!dulcinea is "horny for revenge" (that's a tshirt for the seventh girlies right there)
protozoa is there because duty is his full personality
abby is really grateful to be asked to help (she also really likes tombs, very lara croft of her)
magnus loves his wife
ortus wants a redemption arc and now has a polycule
martita is behaving better than judith
abby asks harrow if there's anything she can remember from the slasher waker sleeper to try to pinpoint who tf it is
there's a suit, blood, a gun and gideon's sword, which is the only thing harrowcita recognizes and doesn't know where it comes from
my money is on gideon's mom, commander wake, probably also the woman in the shuttle poster that harrow saw but didn't recognize back when she met camilla
I'M PUTTING MORE CHIPS IN MY BETS EVEN IF I GET NO MORE INFO RN
harrow is very interested in how abby and magnus make it work as a married couple who are also a necro and a cav
I wonder why she's so interested
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anyway, everything goes to shit on the exorcism
like, it goes really, really badly
group project off the rails bad
I mean, they didn't even have blood
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apparently the spirit is also tethered to an object out there (the sword??????? possibly?????)
and she (she's a SHE) is pretty much invincible and shooting everyone and performing parkour while she's at it
harrow says camilla would be impressed, which is the highest praise
the sleeper waker slasher potentially gideon's mom (but not sure because it hasn't been confirmed yet) calls harrow by her name, but in a way that sounds like she's never said it before
she says it like a curse, which maybe means she knows, to some degree, how harrow was made????
she's basically doing whatever she wants over here, shooting ghosts, punching ghosts, throwing them around, regenerating, not bleeding, pulling guns out of thin air
I mean, ok, we got it, calm down lady
where was this energy when it was time to kill the emperor
she says there's "no magic" there and that "she's been doing this for years"
she wants harrow, so she can kill her and use her body to "finish it"
WHICH MAYBE MEANS KILLING THE EMPEROR???
OH MAN I DO WANT THAT TO HAPPEN
BUT NOT AT THE COST OF HARROW
also, mrs potentially gideon's mom, even if harrow dies, there's also gideon in the body right now so, it's a bit crowded atm
maybe find another way to kill the emperor
use not!dulcinea instead, if you can get the current tenant to leave
the chapter ends with: "ortus cleared his throat"
MAN, I HOPE HE DROPS SOME POETRY LINES, WE SURELY NEED THAT
and that's it for today!!!!!things are certainly heating up in the emperor's bolthole!!!! see you soon for the next installment, fingers crossed for my theories!!!
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