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dresshistorynerd · 2 years ago

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So I got this tag on my answer to an ask about when it became acceptable for western women to wear pants, and you know it's all I need to go on a tangent.

I think the short answer here would be men have worn skirts as long as people have worn anything, so pretty long tbh. But since I am incapable of answering anything shortly, I think we can re-frame this question:

When did skirts stop being socially acceptable for men?

So let's start with acknowledging that tunics, togas, kirtles and such men wore through history were, in fact, skirts. I think there's often a tendency to think of these as very different garments from those that women wore, but really they are not. Most of the time they were literally referred to with the same name. (I will do a very broad and simplified overview of men's clothing from ancient times to Early Middle Ages so we can get to the point which is Late Middle Ages.)

Ancient Greek men and women both wore chitons. Even it's length wasn't determined by gender, but by occupation. Athletes, soldiers and slaves wore knee-length chitons for easier movement. Roman men and women wore very similar garment, tunics. Especially in earlier ancient Rome long sleeves were associated with women, but later became more popular and unconventional for men too. Length though was still dependent on occupation and class, not gender. Toga was sure men's clothing, but worn over tunic. It was wrapped around the waist, like a dress would, and then hung over shoulder. Romans did wear leggings when they needed to. For example for leg protection when hunting as in this mosaic from 4th century. They would have been mostly used by men since men would be doing the kinds of activities that would require them. But that does not lessen the dressyness of the tunics worn here. If a woman today wears leggings under her skirt, the skirt doesn't suddenly become not a skirt.

All over Europe thorough the early Middle Ages, the clothes were very similar in their basic shape and construction as in Rome and Greece. In Central and Northern Europe though people would wear pants under shorter tunics. There were exceptions to the everyone wearing a tunic trend. Celtic men wore braccae, which were pants, and short tunics and literally just shirts. Celts are the rare case, where I think we can say that men didn't wear dresses. Most other peoples in these colder areas wore at least knee-length tunics. Shorter tunics and trousers were worn again mostly by soldiers and slaves, so rarely any other woman than slave women. The trousers were though definitely trousers in Early Middle Ages. They were usually loose for easier construction and therefore not that similar to Roman leggings. However leggings style fitted pants were still used, especially by nobility. I'd say the loose trousers are a gray area. They wore both dresses and pants, but still definitely dresses. I'd say this style was very comparable to the 2000s miniskirts over jeans style. First one below is a reconstruction of Old Norse clothing by Danish history museum. The second is some celebrity from 2005. I see no difference.

When we get to the high Middle Ages tunics are still used by both men and women, and still it's length is dependent on class and activity more than gender, but there's some new developments too. Pants and skirt combo is fully out and leggings' are back in in form of hose. Hose were not in fact pants and calling them leggings is also misleading. Really they are socks. Or at least that's how they started. As it has become a trend here they were used by everyone, not just men. During early Middle Ages they were worn often with the trousers, sometimes the trousers tucked inside them making them baggy. In high Middle Ages they became very long when used with shorter tunics, fully displacing the need for trousers. They would be tied to the waist to keep them up, as they were not knitted (knitting was being invented in Egypt around this time, and some knitting was introduced to Europe during middle Ages, but it really only took off much later during Renaissance Era) and therefore not stretchy. First picture is an example of that from 1440s. Another exciting development in the High Medieval era was bliaut in France and it's sphere of influence. Bliaut was an early attempt in Europe of a fitted dress. And again used by both men and women. The second illustration below from mid 12th century shows a noble man wearing a bliaut and nicely showing off his leg covered in fitted hose. Bliaut was usually likely fitted with lacing on the sides, but it wasn't tailored (tailoring wasn't really a thing just yet) and so created a wrinkled effect around the torso.

In the 14th century things really picked up in European fashion. European kingdoms finally started to become richer and the rich started to have some extra money to put into clothing, so new trends started to pop up rapidly. Tailoring became a thing and clothes could be now cut to be very fitted, which gave birth to fitted kirtle. At the same time having extra money meant being able to spend extra money on more fabric and to create very voluminous clothing, which gave birth to the houppelande.

Kirtle was once again worn by everyone. It wasn't an undergarment, for women that would be shift and men shirt and breeches, but it was an underlayer. It could be worn in public but often had at least another layer on top of it. The bodice part, including sleeves were very fitted with lacing or buttons (though there were over-layer kirtles that had different sleeves that changed with fashions and would be usually worn over a fitted kirtle). Men's kirtles were short, earlier in 14th century knee-length but towards the end of the century even shorter styles became fashionable in some areas. First picture below shows a man with knee-length kirtle from 1450s Italy.

Houppelande was also unisex. It was a loose full-length overgown with a lot of fabric that was gathered on the neckline and could be worn belted or unbelted. The sleeves were also wide and became increasingly wider (for men and women) later in the century and into the next century. Shorter gowns similar in style and construction to the houppelande were also fashionable for men. Both of these styles are seen in the second picture below from late 14th century.

In the very end of 14th century, first signs of pantification of men can be seen. In France and it's sphere of influence the skirt part of the kirtle became so short it barely covered the breeches as seen below on these fashionable musicians from 1395-1400 France. Long houppelandes, length ranging from floor to calf, were still used by men though (the second picture, 1414 France), as were knee and thigh length gowns of similar loose style.

The hems continued to be short through the 15th century in France, but in other places like Italy and German sphere of influence, they were still fairly long, at least to mid thigh, through the first half of the century. In France at some point in late 13th century the very short under-kirtle started to be called doublet and they are just getting shorter in 1400s. The showing underwear problem was fixed by joined hose and the codpiece, signaling the entrance of The Sluttiest Era of men's fashion. Below is an example from 1450s Belgium of doublet and early codpiece in display. As you can see from the other figures, the overgowns of the previous century were also getting very, very short. In the next French example below from 1470s we can see the skirt shrink out of existence right before our eyes.

The very skimpy doublet and it's accompanying codpiece spread to the rest of the Europe in the second half of 15th century and it would only get sluttier from there. The Italians were just showing their full ass (example from 1490s). The dress was not gone yet though. The doublet and codpiece continued to be fashionable, but the overdress got longer again in the French area too. For example in the second example there's Italian soldiers in a knee length dresses from 1513.

But we have to talk about the Germans. They went absolutely mad with the whole doublet and codpiece. Just look at this 1513 painting below (first one). But they did not only do it sluttier than everyone else, they also changed the course of men's fashion.

Let's take a detour talking about the Landsknecht, the mercenary pikeman army of the Holy Roman Empire. (I'm not that knowledgeable in war history so take my war history explanation with a grain of salt.) Pikemen had recently become a formidable counter-unit against cavalry, which earlier in the Medieval Era had been the most important units. Knights were the professional highly trained cavalry, which the whole feudal system leaned against. On the other hand land units were usually not made of professional soldiers. Landsknecht were formed in late 15th century as a professional army of pikemen. They were skilled and highly organized, and quickly became a decisive force in European wars. Their military significance gave them a lot of power in the Holy Roman Empire, some were even given knighthood, which previously wasn't possible for land units, and interestingly for us they were exempt from sumptuary laws. Sumptuary laws controlled who could wear what. As the bourgeois became richer in Europe in late Middle Ages and Renaissance Era, laws were enacted to limit certain fabrics, colors and styles from those outside nobility, to uphold the hierarchy between rich bourgeois and the nobles. The Landsknecht, who were well payed mercenaries (they would mutiny, if they didn't get payed enough), went immediately absolute mad with the power to bypass sumptuary laws. Crimes against fashion (affectionate) were committed. What do you do, when you have extra money and one of your privileges is to wear every color and fabric? You wear every color and fabric. At the same time. You wear them on top of each other and so they can be seen at the same time, you slash the outer layer. In the second image you can feast your eyes on the Landsknecht.

Just to give you a little more of that good stuff, here's a selection of some of my favorite Landsknecht illustrations. This is the peak male performance. Look at those codpieces. Look at those bare legs. The tiny shorts. And savor them.

The Landsknecht were the hot shit. Their lavish and over the top influence quickly took over men's fashion in Germany in early 1500s. Slashing, the technique possibly started by them, but at least popularized by them, instantly spread all over Europe. That's how you get the typical Renaissance poof sleeves. They at first slashed the thighs of their hose, but it seems like to fit more of everything into their outfits, they started wearing the hose in two parts, upper hose and nether hose, which was a sort of return to the early Medieval trousers and knee-high hose style. The two part hose was adopted by the wider German men's fashion early in the century, but already in 1520s had spread to rest of Europe. It was first combined with the knee-length overdress that had made it's comeback in the turn of the century, like in this Italian painting from 1526 (first image). At this point knitting had become established and wide-spread craft in Europe and the stockings were born, replacing nether hose. They were basically nether hose, but from knitted fabric. The gown shortened again and turned into more of a jacket as the trunk hose became increasingly the centerpiece of the outfit, until in 1560s doublet - trunk hose combination emerged as the standard outerwear (as seen in the second example, 1569 Netherlands) putting the last nail on the coffin of the men's dress as well as the Sluttiest Era. The hose and doublet became profoundly un-slutty and un-horny, especially when the solemn Spanish influence spread all over with it's dark and muted colors.

Especially in Middle Ages, but thorough European history, trousers have been associated with soldiers. The largely accepted theory is that trousers were invented for horse riding, but in climates with cold winters, where short skirts are too cold, and long skirts are still a hazard when moving around, trousers (with or without a short skirt) are convenient for all kinds of other movement requiring activities like war. So by adopting hose as general men's clothing, men in 1500s associated masculinity with militarism. It was not a coincidence that the style came from Landsknecht. I may have been joking about them being "peak male performance", but really they were the new masculine ideals for the new age. At the time capitalism was taking form and European great powers had begun the process of violently conquering the world for money, so it's not surprising that the men, who fought for money and became rich and powerful doing so, were idealised.

Because of capitalism and increasingly centralized power, the feudal system was crumbling and with it the feudal social hierarchy. Capitalism shifted the wealth from land ownership (which feudal nobility was built upon) to capital and trade, deteriorating the hierarchy based on land. At the same time Reformation and centralized secular powers were weakening the power of the Church, wavering also the hierarchy justified by godly ordain. The ruling class was not about to give up their power, so a new social hierarchy needed to form. Through colonialism the concept of race was created and the new hierarchy was drawn from racial, gender and wealth lines. It was a long process, but it started in 1500s, and the increasing distinction between men's and women's fashions was part of drawing those lines. At the same time distinctions between white men and racialized men, as well as white women and racialized women were drawn. As in Europe up until this point, all over the world (with some exceptions) skirts were used by everyone. So when European men fully adopted the trousers, and trousers, as well as their association to military, were equated with masculinity, part of it was to emasculate racialized men, to draw distinctions.

Surprise, it was colonialism all along! Honestly if there's a societal or cultural change after Middle Ages, a good guess for the reason behind it is always colonialism. It won't be right every time, but quite a lot of times. Trousers as a concept is of course not related to colonialism, but the idea that trousers equal masculinity and especially the idea that skirts equal femininity are. So I guess decolonize masculinity by wearing skirts?

#this has been sitting in my drafts almost finished for like a year or something #historical fashion #fashion history #fashion #history #dress history #men's historical fashion #renaissance fashion #medieval fashion #western fashion #western fashion history #landsknecht

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yanderenightmare · 9 months ago

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Mahito

TW: idk, threatening atmosphere ig

fem reader

Thinking about being a psychologist assigned a certain crazed serial killing cannibal…

The walls seemed too white. Loud. So impersonal, it became personal. Cold and eerie, as if it wanted to make everyone inside feel unwelcome.

Your palms were embarrassingly sweaty, causing you to wipe them down your skirt, also in an attempt to straighten it out, where the approaching footsteps on the other side of the door only helped make your heart beat faster.

You swallowed your anxiety when you heard the latch open and tried to wipe your face free of fear, knowing how such fragility would not survive here. You almost felt nauseous, but then the patient came in, and, unlike you, he looked completely normal – happy even.

"Good morning." You reported routinely, and just as routinely, he chose not to answer and instead stared at you where you sat on the other side of the table, as ready as ever.

It had become a ritual shared between the two of you. Intimate.

You, who made yourself comfortable before he was let in – folder and notepad and two ballpoint pens in two different colors, one red and one blue, placed in front of you on the table – just far enough away that he couldn't reach them.

And he, who’s comfortable either way – dressed in his given uniform and slippers as he stepped across the cold floor slowly before dropping into the chair in front of you.

You wear jewelry, and suppose he does so as well.

He looked your body up then down – analyzing what he saw with an unimpressed face – taking in your straight posture where you sat like a doll placed in a glass display with your knees together and your hands folded neatly atop your lap.

He seemed disappointed when roaming your outfit – a childish pout on his lips. A secular pencil skirt, tight but modest nonetheless, reaching below the knees – only showing calves and ankles. A demure blouse – no sheer fabric, no bright color, no cleavage – just dull pink-beige that reached up below a set of pretty collarbones and a neckline donned a simple pearl necklace.

If you wore makeup, it couldn't have been much – but your lips had a certain shine to them, not much color other than natural, but glossy in a way that made them look… tasty.

You were pretty, but pretty in a very ordinary way – pretty in such a way that wasn't enough to answer the question of whether you were trying or not. And he thought that was fun.

You looked boring, but you weren’t boring because you were anything but obvious.

You smiled nicely, pretending that he didn't make you nervous – and that, in turn, made him smile, but not for the reasons you would have liked. He thought you were a little weird for wanting him to get comfortable with you when you were so clearly nowhere near comfortable yourself.

"How are you today?" You asked as if in a normal conversation when your previous ask didn’t earn any response.

He considers playing along for a few seconds but eventually feels he has done so too many times before – that now it would only achieve something boring.

He nudges the inside of his cheek with his tongue and scrapes it against his teeth before finally answering. "Have you ever seen someone go through withdrawal?"

If this had been your first time with him, you would have reacted differently, but you have since learned that he’s happy to force what he feels like telling, regardless of your attempts to turn the conversation onto other topics. So, instead of asking why he's asking what he's asking, you answer honestly and let him continue.

"No. I can't say that I have."

"Then you're in for a treat.” He says and begins the game, quickly noting with a keen twinkle in his eye the way your smile tightens before he continues. "You might think I look like shit now, but you should’a seen my skin then – all ash and gray like a rotten fish. Should have some pictures of that in your binder – I looked as good as dead.” He joked with a smile. "And yet, I was still alive… ‘cause I kept kicking and flopping around. And it was cold – freezing – so cold that my teeth gnashed without having anything to bite into. And even though I’ve never been one to cry, I cried then, like a newborn fresh outta the womb." He confessed with even more of a chuckle in his voice.

The smile only grew sharper when he saw you open the notebook – his eyes twitching a little at the sound of the ballpoint clicking under your thumb as he watched you approach the sheet with red ink.

"Oh- and sweat," He continued, "My God, how you sweat." Grinning as the adrenaline of excitement sharpened the red in his corneas – crazed two-toned eyes bulging as he watched you scribble. “You may think you know sweat, but you don't – you don't know the stench of it.”

He shook his head along with the words, happy to have engaged you in his little game. You were so cute, sitting there opposite him as if the two of you were on a date and he was telling you some fun story from his past.

"And I shook! Like I was crazy – like I had demons on the inside that wanted out!"

You gasped as he brought his large fist down hard on the table with a blow that shook the remaining blue pen as if it jumped in fear and cowered to comfort itself the same as you.

“And then they came out. ‘Cause I puked ‘em out!”

His eyes were impossibly dark, though they remained the same as always. Full of something… something you just couldn't understand. Along with a crack of a smile that was anything but healthy.

"For several hours, I vomited until my soul was left in the toilet bowl… That is… the times I was lucky to even make it to the bathroom in time..."

His words earned a grimace from you, sitting with a lump in your throat, clutching the pen that had now gone silent in your still grip.

"And that smell doesn't go away…" He continued, calmer now. “It sits and sinks into the floors... Remains to remind you of what you are – mocks you, pokes fun, laughs as it predicts the future…”

His eyes gave yours the same feeling as being threatened with a knife, the way he looked down at you while you stared up at him – your eyes wide in prayer before you couldn't hold back any longer and had to look away.

"Because you know..." The voice was even quieter now but still with a reprehensible darkness that required goosebumps. "No matter what promises you make to yourself, you will always break them the moment the hunger strikes again... That's just human nature." He concluded, letting the silence work for himself.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and met his gaze again, trying your best to appear unflappable even though you’d already let the mask slip a couple of thousand times already.

"What made you think of that?" You asked then, clicking your pen – that way you do when the silence creeps worse than his words.

“This room.” He answered. “It's like withdrawal.”

"It doesn't say anywhere in your file that you’re a drug addict?"

"The whole reason I'm sitting in here is 'cause I’m an addict." He snarled, and you almost lost the pen with how you flinched.

There was another pause, and his face softened again into something else.

"But you're right. I've never done drugs." He smiled with his head cocked a little to the side as he looked at you with that fixed unpleasant look. "But I was convincing, wasn't I?"

You clicked your pen again and wrote another thing down in the notepad.

"Psh-" He scoffed. Something in his voice had changed, twisted into something similarly accusatory to yours. "You're just like me."

You stopped writing. Your whole body had been taken by instinct at his disturbing statement – brows furrowed as you fought the urge to gnaw at your bottom lip.

"How so?"

Your heart was pounding to the point where you could hardly feel anything but the bleeding pulsing in your ears – pumping in your fingertips – rocking the ribs in your chest.

A silent toothless smile crept up his face anew from where it had been playing at the corner of his mouth as he watched you cling to the red pen as some sort of weapon you could use if he chose to throw himself across the table.

He laughed at the thought but stopped short upon his next utterance. "You’re also an addict."

You had such a very pitifully confused expression. He took a second to admire it with a smile that only grew sharper, to a sick point where you almost couldn't recognize him as human at all anymore.

"You use – you eat and chew and swallow everything but the bones, everything you can stuff your bottomless belly with in hopes it'll soothe the hunger."

You had to gulp.

"Most people, you see, eat themselves. But we…" His gaze was like a spark – powder and fuse teased by friction, just waiting to explode. "We eat people."

Another silence fell upon you, but this one heavier than the previous ones – as if everything took a moment to catch its breath before you let it go, and with it came a deeply unsettling shiver down your spine.

But before you could question the statement, a beep came and took the patient away.

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trashmouth-richie · 2 years ago

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older! eddie x fem! reader

summary: when your bf skips town /‘s you can’t pay your rent, you put on your best outfit and knock on your landlord’s door begging for forgiveness

@eddiemunsons-missingnipple for the Eddie edit

w/c: 3.8k

t/w: 18+ ONLY —heavy smut, degrading, hair pulling, mouth fucking, choking, edging, switch!, daddy!kink

He was an asshole to extraordinary proportions. A life full of mold covered lemons would do that to a person. You were nervous, to approach him. But something told you he’d hear you out— listen to you. Maybe even be sympathetic to your pleads.

Yeah right.

As if he were made of anything but pure hatred. Toxicity swirled in his veins, his poisoned skin covered by decades worth of tattoos; all dark and sharp edged.

His peppered scruff balanced out his naturally soft eyes. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. A scowl that would make any resident of Forest Hills Trailer Park think twice about crossing. But you were left with no choice. When Trey had ditched town with the human bicycle Chrissy Cunningham, you were short on rent. Bills were tight, and you often ate in the dark, or by candle light. Anything to save a bit of money.

And that’s what led you here. Standing at your landlord’s door. Putting on an extra swipe of lipgloss, making sure to curl your hair, and wear a low cut tank top, the only push up bra you owned, and some cheap lashes from the mall— you knocked politely on the sun faded door. Hoping for some sort of a miracle that Mr. Munson would take pity on you.

One knock. Nothing.

Another. Still nothing.

It’s not until you are slapping your hand into the door that a voice behind you startles you nearly out of your too short skirt.

“What’d’ya need?” He’s covered in motor oil and grease, standing below you on the dirt and sparse grass covered ground, wiping his hands on a once red rag, a ring of sweat around his white tank top, bandana wrapped around his head, cigarette hanging gingerly from his slack lips.

He remembers the day you had moved in, it was freezing cold in early February. All by yourself, moving things one at a time in a shitty old Buick he hadn’t seen around since his high school days. He wanted to offer his help, something he didn’t give to anyone. But something about the way you smiled as he showed you around the dingy shithole of a trailer, voicing your opinions on what could be spruced up, made him hate you a little bit less.

Everyone in the park knew not to bother Eddie. He was a grumpy, mean son of a bitch and his patience was rail fucking thin. The Johnson’s dog went missing? No shit, he was the one who called animal control to come and pick it up, fucker had fleas and probably rabies. Can I paint the kitchen? Fuck no. The sink isn’t working at lot 8. Call a mechanic. And just for the annoyance he upped their rent $100.

Seeing you on his steps, dressed like that, sparkly tits, and your bra showing through your tank top had his dick twitching in his pants. Of course you were a smoke show, and he was honestly surprised to hear that ol’ what’s his face ran out on you with Chrissy Cuntingham. Her shit had been rode hard and put away wet more times that could be accounted for. Bitch still wore her homecoming tiara and had her green and orange pom poms in the back window of her car— despite the fact that graduation was more than 25 years ago. Worse than an alleycat, and smelling like one, Chrissy mostly kept herself busy by buying the minors alcohol or showing her many “party tricks” to the bachelors of the park. Sitting on his porch, smoking a joint like he did every night, Eddie took note of the black jeep that showed up every Thursday outside trailer 6, a graying head of suave douche boy hair could only be one person, Jason Carver.

He took note that your trailer, right next to his, was full of screaming and yelling when your boyfriend was home. A noise all too familiar in the trailer park, bouncing off Eddie’s ears like birds chirping.

But when he was gone? The window to your bedroom would be cracked open ever so slightly, propped open with the soft cover of Stephen King’s IT. The kitten purr of a vibrator and your delicate moans sang out to him. A siren amongst lonely fishermen, calling out to them in song of entrapment only to eat their souls, bodies never found amongst the dark sea bed. At first he thought it was wrong to listen, wrong to hear your pleasuring yourself, but he had sworn he heard his name on your lips, more than once. Fisting his cock angrily to your voice, your wet mouth, swollen lips from him sucking on them, pretty little pussy aching for him. He didn’t need playboys anymore when he had your face to imagine. And imagine he had.

What would your sweet pussy look like wrapped around his cock? Would you swallow his load down your throat if he asked, demanded you to? Sweet thing like you wouldn’t have to worry about anything if you were his. The choked laugh after he finishes all over his hand makes him shake his head at the idea. He didn’t know your age, old enough to be on your own but definitely not 45 like he was. Visions of your sugar plum tits bouncing in his face as you rode him on the itchy couch in his living room, lulled him to sleep most nights.

He saw a peek of a tattoo on your side when you were hanging clothes on the line. Your body drove him in, his eyes melting around your curves, the swell of your ass in the jean cut off shorts you wore. When you saw him staring you waved him over, a devilish grin on your lips, a wanting sparkle in your eye.

He knew your type, trouble. And oh fuck the trouble he would love to be in. He’d never volunteered to fix anyone's appliances. But your silky saccharine voice had him calling a mechanic in a few days time, would have been sooner if he could have tore his eyes away from your tanned legs, but he kept those extra days all to himself, whimpering at night with a sore cock your name on his breath. It had been seven months of you living next door, your vibrator turned on like clockwork every day your boyfriend left for work.

And now here you are. Looking at him with “fuck me” eyes and a glossy smile on your lips. Those same lips purring out pleasantries about how fuck face left you and you were needing an extension on rent. The swell of the summer sun hit your cheeks, making you glow like some love sick angel on his steps. He was fucked. And soon— you would be too.

“So what?” He tried to gamble, tried to keep his hard facade, “an extension and then what’s next? You’re gonna tell all your little friends that I give hand outs to the needy? Oh no doll, not today.”

He pushes his way around you and into his trailer, the pungent smell of too strong incense burns your nostrils as you hold the door from him shutting it.

“Please, Mr. Muns—.”

“Eddie,” he grumbles.

“Eddie, please— I’m begging you,” the glimmer of a tear welling in your eyes, your voice dipping low into an almost whisper as you made your way inside, shutting the door behind your back and feeling around for the lock, “I’ll do anything.”

Eyes dripping of sex appeal and lust, you tip your tongue to the center of your top lip, eyeing his tightened jeans and you swear you see his dick twitch beneath the stretched denim.

Cock at full alert he shakes his head, his head dipped low and eyeing you up and down, lip bit between his teeth. A low groan in his throat, he talks in a gritting whisper, “Don’t start something you can’t finish sweetheart.”

“Oh I plan on finishing, big boy,” you hum walking towards him, devilish grin planted on your lips, “I don’t think we’ll have a problem with that, will we daddy?”

Fuck. Not even touching you yet and Eddie is rock hard, he could probably cum if you asked him to. Thanking a higher power that he wasn’t twenty anymore, he’s got years of stamina built under his worn leather belt. “You’re about to write a check your ass can’t cash doll, you sure this is what you want?”

“stop talking,” you breath, inches from his lips, he can taste the peach flavored lipgloss on his tongue, “and fuck me.”

Not needing any more of an okay than that, Eddie turns you around in a swift motion, a gasp escapes your lungs and he catches you before you stumble over your heels. He drags your hips down into him, your ass round and luscious on his stiffened length. He rips the neck of your tank top open exposing the mountainous swell of your chest and your cheap K-Mart bra. Pinching your laced nipples between his rough fingers, he rolls them like joints as his hot mouth assaults your neck, painting you, he sucks bruises into your neck, licking them better with tiny flicks of his satanic tongue and ending in a bite, marking you as his.

Pushing your ass into him you can feel his cock. His achingly girthy length has you soaking your panties, dripping wet just for him. His smokey smell is mixed with sweat as you angle your neck back against his shoulder, moaning into him as he sucks like a vampire into your neck. His stubble rubbing against your skin.

“Eddie,” you moan breathless into the humid air of his trailer.

He groans, your body pushed tight against him has his head spinning, drunk off your touch. Grabbing your skirt and yanking upward. Dripping in anticipation, your panties could be wrung out, your arousal pooling from the center and beading slowly to the ground. He hisses and hums when his finger first skates along the slick of your panties with a schlick, “fuck, all this for me doll?” He’s playing now, his thick fingers moving in lazy circles around your clit, your creamy pussy clenching desperately on nothing, you nod with a whimper.

“You gonna make all those pretty little noises I hear from your window once that dumbass you let fuck you leaves the house every day? Hmm? Didn’t think I could hear did you?” His cocky bravado kicks his cock up on your ass, sending a moan through your body as you rub deeper into him.

Quite the opposite actually

Purring into his neck you lick the expanse of skin he’s showcasing. Blowing hot on the slicked spit from your tongue, you rotate your hips to angle his fingers better on your clit, the sensitivity rolling like an electric current through your veins.

“I did it on purpose,” you confess breathlessly as Eddie’s fingers stop. “Watching you stare at me for months, I knew you’d touch yourself over me.”

Eddie groans gutturally twisting your body into the front door, back hitting the broken shades with a thud. In milliseconds he is on you, hot tongue lapping up your neck and biting with enough force to break skin. No time to be patient to have you undress for him, he shoves your skirt up tipping your panties clean off. Your exposed pussy shuddering with his blown breath on your slick core. His devilish eager tongue expertly licks and teases your clit. Humming with each jerk of your body as the sensitivity makes you squirm. Tongue wiggling inside of you like an eel, your hands are gripping his hair for dear life, yanking at the roots like you’re pulling weeds. Your thigh is on his shoulder, the leg on the ground begins to shake as your first orgasm rips like a tidal wave through you. Head thrown back against the door, moaning loud enough for the entire park to hear— you don’t care.

Your noises stir Eddie’s arousal even more. Whimpering as he grip him impossibly tighter he a broken, “fuck,” into your folds as he goes back for seconds, “you’re gonna get me into trouble, pussy so fucking sweet.” His lips are wet, your arrival shining like pretty lipgloss allover hos chin and lips. Already spent from the teasing and the damn breaking, Eddie hikes you up over his shoulder, your bare volumtuous ass bouncing with every step. He throws you onto a king sized bed, unmade and reeking of weed. Rolling papers on the night stand along with several lighters you aren’t given much time before Eddie kicks his jeans off, boxer briefs do him justice as his cock jumps to his belly when he unthreads his legs from them. Pearly beads of pre cup drip from the thick head.

Eddie leans forward and places a thick hand on your neck, your vision blurs and returns with each grip he threatens and releases his teeth biting your lips, slow drops of blood seep from his bites, he licks the wounds clean.

“Havent used rubbers since the 80’s and I won’t, so are you on the pill or are we ending this right now?”

“Pill,” you warble, chords of your neck strained against his hand.

“Thatta girl,” he praises, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, “I’m gonna fill you up full with my cum you’ll be leaking it out for hours.. maybe days.”

Tears sting your eyes at the thought of his glorious pearly cum deep in your walls painting them pretty, “please daddy, I need it.”

Eddie grins, “so needy baby, you want this cock?” he asks, flicking it through your folds, a noise resembling macaroni and cheese is blasts from your core, he groans deep, “so fucking wet,” his lip is almost bit in half with how he’s trying to hide his excitement, “I’m gonna wreck this sweet pussy so you won’t be able to walk home.”

Whimpering like a bitch in heat, Eddie flips you over, angles your ass up, slapping each cheek hard enough a red hand print sized welt develops almost immediately, he pushes all of himself into you, bottoming out as you moan and cry thanking God in your head as you’re split open, a welcomed pain. Spit soaks his sheets from your mouth when he pulls out, “oh you can take it, honey, don’t fucking quit on me.”

“I’m n—,” gasping loudly when he spits harshly on your ass. Rubbing his thumb against the pink button. The new sensation brings color to your closed eyes, stars and shapes of all size float in your closed mind, your pussy clenched harder around Eddie as you whine his name.

“Yeah?” Eddie moans, “told you daddy would take care of you, that needle dick can’t make you feel like this can he?”

you try to choke out a ‘no’ but no noise comes out, your head is thrown back violently as Eddie grabs your hair in one hand and pounds mercilessly into you.

Eddie is grunting with each slap of his heavy sack against your clit, “this is what you came here for right? Bad girl can’t pay her rent so she came to fuck the owner in exchange?” His taunting only makes you wetter, makes you clench his harder as you come undone for the second time. Screaming his name until you’re breathless. Panting and sweating like you ran a marathon. He gives you one more deep thrust of his hips and watches you fall forward.

“Look at the mess you made you little whore,” Eddie spits, venom laced words on that glory filled tongue, as he drags you by your hair to look at his soaked cock, “lick it up, want you to know how fucking sweet you taste.”

Eddie flips you over like a rag doll, positioning you the way he wants. Head dangling off the mattress, Eddie groans as he jams his cock into your throat, holding it there and choking you simultaneously. He reached to the night stand and grabs a black small vibrator placing it on your clit. The vibrations make you moan and choke around his length and against his hand. Eyelids fluttering shut you’re positive you can’t breathe, just when you’re about to pass out he brings you back, letting you breathe for a few seconds, chuckling to himself as you enter the hazy bliss of intoxicating euphoria. Your body convulses under his. Begging for a third orgasm, you can taste the earthy tang of your release and Eddie’s pre cum mix on your tongue.

His girth fills your throat completely, barely leaving room for your own tongue in your mouth. He’s dripping sweat onto your own body you can feel it slip from your belly button down into the curve of your neck. Eddie's hair is swaying in conjuncture with his hips slamming home against your face. Using your mouth like his own fist has you soaking the sheets, clit over stimulated, a deep bruise settling inside the soft silk of your velvet folds. A bruise you’d wear proudly for weeks to come.

Slapping your face as you gag lightly, mind steadily focusing on the jerking of your legs and the vibrating pulse of your cunt. Eddie shushes you reassuring you, tauntingly “someone too big for their britches huh? Work through it, sweetheart— that’s it, fuck good girl,” he chokes a whimper down his own throat as your tongue swirls around him. “Christ, swallowing what I give you, such a good girl for daddy.” Eddie thrusts one more deep cant of his hips into your mouth groaning deeply when you hollow your cheeks. Letting you breathe freely.

“You like that? Like me using you like a worthless fucking toy?” Eddie lifts you up to his face by your hair, kissing your lips delicately, you nod and whimper as he harshly sucks and nips at your neck leaving purpling marks in his wake.

Unabashedly you scratch your long nails into his chest, leaving your own mark on him as he groans against your skin. “My turn,” you whisper as you crawl into a standing position in front of him. Kissing him sweetly and pulling his bottom lip between your teeth, he whimpers at your touch. A tantalizing smile radiates across your lips. Eddie Munson a switch? Who knew? Pushing his shoulders backwards he falls on the bed, curtains of curls cascade around him and his face is turned up in shock then to a satanic grin.

Wiggling your tight skirt down your body you stand in only your heels.

“Fuck, you are a goddess.” Eddie groans, stroking his thick length in slow rhythmic motions as he stares at your body shamelessly, you climb towards him on his messy sheets between his legs your poor abused throat sore and bruised from his animalistic fucking.

His chest is littered with tattoos both old and new, faded and blown out lines mixed amongst sharp edged fresh ones stark against his pale skin. Blistering red lines decorate him from your nails earlier. Knees on either side of his hips you slot your pussy lips against his needy thick cock, sliding forward and back again, your hands on his chest for leverage. Leaning up on his elbows and moving you both backwards so he can rest his back against the headboard, he scants forward to kiss you but you push his forehead away dumbly.

Tsking and using few words to speak with a hoarse voice you whisper, “no touching.” Grinding your hips down into him, pocketing his cock in your slick folds like a sword in a sheath, you lick a stripe up his neck and land at this ear, your pretty moans singing to him like a demon seeking a naive victim. His hips jump with each roll of your own, desperate for relief he whimpers and whines as he’s close and you retreat. Starting all over again. After the third go around his bangs are stuck to his forehead, cheeks warm with a frustrated, worked up blush as you edge him again and again.

“Mmm’ fuck that’s a good cock daddy,” you moan as you come hard on his cock again making a mess yet again, he groans as you milk him for all he’s worth, your creamy pussy clenching against him, and your denial of his release is too much for him. “you wanna come for me?”

Eddie nods in spent anticipation, practically tearing up from being so worked up and being able to release himself. “Please— I can’t,” he groans, as you start grinding on him again, only this time you give in, hugging him in a pinky sheath of gummy walls and slick floors. “Christ,” he melts as you bounce atop his cock, dragging your hips backward and forward helping him hit the spot you so desperately craved from him. His thick hands are on your hips moving you to his liking, a pebbled nipple in his mouth makes you cry out his name as he pumps into you holding you still.

He slaps your ass, “I’m gonna come, shit, fuck!” He hums your name as hot ropes of his thick release coats your walls and floods out you don’t stop riding him, coaxing every last drop out of him until he’s hissing through his teeth as his softened length falls out of you, hot, reddened and aching.

Eddie pulls you to him, kissing your neck and scooting you both down the bed. “Think you’re my favorite tenant,” he laughs as you lay motionless on top of him, both breathing heavily.

“Jesus, I’d hope so, but maybe Miss Richard’s comes over here to get some money knocked off her rent,” you tease, tracing circles into his spotty chest hair, “heard she’s real pretty in her nightgown, just gotta be careful of her poligrip.”

He laughs again, smacking your ass, “you’re a fuckin’ brat y’know that?”

“And you’re a filthy fucker, quite the pair I’d say,” you spit before biting his chest.

Eddie yanks you by your hair to look you in the eyes, “not every day a pretty baby like you comes knocking on my door to rattle my cage and get free rent. But I’d like if you came over more often, that attitude needs adjusting.”

“oh really?” you question, hand under your chin like you’re bored as you roll your eyes, “and your old ass is gonna be the one to tame me huh?”

You spend a greater part of the night bent over Eddie’s knee, his studded belt in his hand as he whips you again and again. Tears spill from your eyes, and coat his thighs. Eddie’s sadistic ass only grins, a joint hanging limply from his lips, shushing you softly, “don’t cry honey, I told you your ass wouldn’t be able to cash that check.”

👅 I’m gonna go touch grass now

#eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #older!eddie #mean!eddie munson #daddy!eddie munson #landlord! eddie

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bountycancelled · 11 months ago

Text

something more than friends

(lucy gray baird x reader)

tip me on kofi if you feel so inclined

requested: yep, I hope you like it anon♡

content: a little bit of angst but mainly fluff, men (derogatory), kinda lovesick!lucy gray, jealous lucy gray (we love to see it), pretty intense description of kissing but no smut.

warnings: a very brief mention of drinking, internalised homophobia but it doesn't last long, gay stuff (duh), lowercase intended I know boo I'm annoying.

a/n: I haven't read the book yet so idk much about the covey so their appearance may ooc but that's solely due to my lack of knowledge on them

lucy gray baird never faltered when she sang.

there were very few things that could get under her skin when she was on that stage, strumming her guitar and twirling in her skirt as the district folk stomped along to the beat.

sure, sometimes drunkards and the occasional hung up ex would try to cause a scene, attempting to gain her attention from below, but she would simply roll her eyes, waiting for someone to take care of them so that she could go back to doing what she did best. performing.

so what exactly had happened to make the lucy gray baird, forget a line in a song?

she was quick to remedy her mistake, carrying the tune in such a way that most patrons didn't even notice her mess up. but ironically enough, the very cause of her brain fog noticed. you.

you gave her a worried look, but she brushed it off, willing herself to continue playing as if nothing was wrong. and technically, nothing was wrong. you were there, in the far back of the crowd, wearing a white dress with a drink in your hand. and Lucy Gray didn't mean to be cliché, but you really did look like an angel, something divine that she had the honour of setting her eyes on.

but obviously, she wasn't the only one who thought that.

you were speaking to some man. which was fine, you were always the most gorgeous girl in the room in her eyes and she knew that she wasn't the only one who appreciated your beauty, you were always needing to awkwardly laugh at men's advances and brush them off as best as you could, but you weren't doing that tonight.

you were laughing, a genuine laugh, leaning in to hear his voice over the music, over her singing. she wanted to jump off of the stage and break her guitar over that assholes face, and she couldn't explain why.

she had always known that one day, you'd settle down with a kind man who cared for you (not nearly as much as she did, but that was okay) and then she would see you less and less. but knowing didn't make the taste in her mouth any more bitter.

the first time you told her about a crush that you had, on a boy named Tom, she spent the whole night convincing you that he just wasn't right for you. you believed her of course, rejecting him swiftly the next week when he asked you to go on a walk with him, walking instead with lucy gray, hand in hand.

but then, she did it every time you spoke about a boy, and you started to believe her less and less. 'I think you're just jealous lucy gray, and you don't anybody taking my attention away from you.'

you were right, she was jealous, and the thought of you, with a man, it disgusted her to her core. which is why she took off as soon as her set ended, not even staying for the applause as she searched for you outside.

there you were, and thankfully, you were alone, no undeserving man in sight.

she ran up to you, her brown eyes seemingly sparkling even in the darkened night. "how'd you enjoy the show, darlin'?"

her heart jumped when you smiled at her, your eyes crinkling in joy as you took both of her hand in yours, squeezing them affectionately. "you have the voice of an angel, lucy gray. and I envy the lucky fella who's gonna marry you, and have to serenade them whenever they want."

lucy gray rolled her eyes in a good natured fashion, trying to ignore the knot in her stomach when you mentioned her getting married. "I already serenade you, sweet thing. and im not gonna let some wedding band stop me."

you laughed airily, leading her by the hand towards the lake, where you spent most nights together. you sat down at the edge, laying your head in her lap when she sat beside you. her hand went to your hair, and she fought the urge to by giddy at the sight of your head in her lap, you were just... perfect.

"who was that guy that you were talking to back then? when I was singing, I mean." she asked, her voice uncharacteristically quiet.

you thought back to about an hour prior, picturing every person that you had been with throughout the evening as you tried to recall who she was asking about in particular. "oh! that was matthew, his dad and my dad go way back, but the two of us never really shared their closeness for whatever reason. but after speaking to him tonight I'm a bit upset that I never tried to grow a friendship with him earlier."

she nodded, her cherry glossed lips pressing into a thin line. "he doesn't just wanna be friends with you though, I could see it." you scoffed playfully, raising a brow at her curiously. "you were all the way up on stage, in the middle of your favourite song to perform, and somehow, you could tell that much from so far away?"

she opened her mouth to defend herself, but after realising just how insane the notion sounded when you phrased it in that way, she quickly closed it again. "I'm not gonna let any man take me away from you, lucy gray, believe me when I say that I can't live without you."

your words sent a fury of butterflies in her stomach, and she swore that felt dizzy as you picked your head up, moving your face so close to hers that your noses were almost touching. she wanted to kiss you. god, what the hell was wrong with her? how could she be thinking of you in this way?

despite her inner conflict, she made no moves to create some distance between your faces, selfishly wanting to stay like this for as long as you'd let her. "I wish we could get married." she sighed, her eyes widening at her own words. "I meant- not like, I didn't mean- not in, like, a husband and wife typa way-"

you cut her off with trying to, with a tilt of your head making her suck in a sharp breath. "you don't wanna do husband and wife things with me?" you asked, and she could swear that your voice had a certain tone about it, one that made her cheeks feel blazing and her breaths shallow.

she shook her head, her usually fierce tone reduced to a meek almost whisper. "we can't do those stuff together."

you were too close for comfort. she could feel the tip of your nose against hers and if you leaned in any further, she was sure that she would combust. "who cares if we can't? the more important question is, do you want to?"

inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. she had forgotten how to breath. this wasn't right, she knew that, so why were her lips on yours in a flash, her hands in your hair, around your waist, holding your hands, touching any part of you that she could reach as the two of you kissed? in public, no less?

she couldn't find it in her mind to stop, not when your soft, sweet lips moved in tandem with hers as if you were molded to fit each other. when you pulled away, with lucy gray chasing your lips with an involuntary whine, you held her by the shoulders, a look of concern on your face.

that was when she felt it. the guilt knawing at her stomach, and the tears that flowed down her face. was she crying because of how overwhelming her feelings were for you? maybe it was because she knew that you would have to hide... whatever had just happened between the two of you.

you leaned your forehead against hers, you sweet voice easing her fear. "I love you." she nodded, not being able to say it back just yet, but she could only hope that you knew. she moved to kiss you again, being startled out of her mind by a girlish scream in the distance.

it was maude ivory, eyes wide and hand slapped over her mouth in shock, with an equally suprised tam amber standing next to her. lucy gray felt sick to her stomach.

"I knew it." tam Amber said with a shrug, moving to sit next to the two fo you as she stared out at the moonlit lake. "no one looks at their friend like how lucy gray looks at you."

"can I be the flower girl? and the maid of honour? and the priest?" maude ivory rambled, laying half in lucy grays lap and half in yours. you simply laughed, explaining that her dream wasn't exactly possible but flower girl was certainly doable as lucy gray watched, tears threatening to fall from her eyes once again. only this time, they were of relief.

the joy she felt in her chest, at the thought that you could be... together in front of the covey was the best gift she could possibly be given. you and her, together. not just as best friends. although it was hard to wrap her head around it, she knew that it was exactly what she wanted and she had it on good authority that you wanted it too.

#tbosas #the hunger games #lucy gray fluff #lucy gray x reader #lucy gray baird #lucy gray my beloved #lucy gray angst #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games headcanon #tbosas x reader #tbosas x you #wlw #lucy gray baird x reader #lucy gray baird x you #coriolanus x reader

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slaymitchabernathy · 2 months ago

Text

The Nanny

Soarynn’s shoes click on the pavement as she walks down the paved walkway.

It’s a daunting task, walking up to the front door of the President’s Mansion.

She wraps her fingers around the handle of her purse a bit tighter to settle her nerves. Today she has the most important job interview of her life.

She carefully climbs the steps leading up to the front door and stops to notice the golden rose engraved on the door handle. She takes in a deep breath, slowly blowing it out.

You’re prepared for this, she tells herself, you’ve already got one foot in the door.

Getting one foot through the front gates was difficult enough. The Peacekeepers guarding the front entrance of the Mansion gave her quite a hard time, asking for all sorts of identification, they even spoke to someone on the intercom before she was granted access.

She hopes it won’t be like this should she land the job.

She knocks only twice before looking over her outfit one last time. She wanted to dress to impress but also dress for practicality. Today she wore a pencil skirt, charcoal gray with a button-up shirt with short sleeves that stop at her shoulders. It is, after all, August and it’s not getting any cooler anytime soon.

She paired the outfit with kitten heels and her purse, hopefully, they approve of her wardrobe.

The door opens after a minute and she’s greeted by an older woman with an impressive-looking head of hair. “Hello, you must be Soarynn, the new nanny.”

Soarynn gives the woman a polite smile and nods, reaching her hand out, “Yes ma’am.”

“I’m Eudora, we spoke over the phone several times,” Eudora tells her, shaking her hand, “do come in out of this heat. It’s been absolutely dreadful.”

Soarynn cautiously steps into the President’s Mansion and can’t help but marvel at how beautiful it is on the inside with the grand marble staircase and the magnificent tall ceilings and windows. It’s beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

“You’ll get used to it,” Eudora calls from over her shoulder, already walking down the hall leaving Soarynn with no choice but to follow her. “Back there was the foyer, there are several sitting rooms, bathrooms, and dining rooms on the first floor. All the guest rooms are also on the first floor, the President and his family all reside on the second floor. Staff also stay on the first floor.”

Soarynn bobs her head as they walk through a maze of hallways that she’ll have to familiarize herself with should they keep her around. “Don’t worry about getting lost,” Eudora says with a chuckle, “the children know their way around this house better than their father.”

A wave of nerves washes over Soarynn at the mention of her possible employer, the President of Panem.

They pass by a large portrait and Soarynn can’t help but stop and look at it. The portrait is of the Snow family, Coriolanus Snow, and his wife Livia sitting on a sofa with their children playing on the floor below them. Eudora sighs and gazes up alongside Soarynn, “The children still miss their mother, but they’ve gotten past the hardest stages of grief. Now it’s up to the adults around them to help them grow and move on.”

Soarynn swallows, can she handle that responsibility?

“It’s an insurmountable loss,” Soarynn decides, “losing a parent is the worst thing that can happen to a child.”

She can feel Eudora looking at her but she doesn’t look away from the stern face of Coriolanus Snow, handsome but stoic. No emotion whatsoever.

“Yes,” Eudora agrees, “although I wouldn’t expect Coriolanus to talk about it at length. He doesn’t talk about anything that doesn’t have to do with running this country.”

Soarynn can only imagine why.

“Anyways, we went over your files, performed several tedious background checks and it seems that you’ve passed all of them, my dear. Congratulations.”

Soarynn’s eyes widen at Eudora’s comment, “You mean I got the job?”

Eudora laughs as if she just said the funniest joke ever, “Oh no dear. Coriolanus will be the one to officially decide, but he usually leaves these things in my capable hands. He can’t be bothered with finding another nanny.”

Another nanny.

Based on what she gathered from several phone calls with Eudora, Soarynn is not the first nanny who’s been employed by the Snow family. But she hopes she’ll be the last.

“He trusts you with a lot then?” She asks, following Eudora down another hallway. Eudora nods, “Yes. Goodness knows where he’d be without me telling him where to be and when to be there. I’m technically his event coordinator, but lately, I’ve been doing more than my job description. Which is why we’ve been looking for a new nanny to help with the children.”

They round a corner and walk into a larger hallway with windows that go from the floor to the ceiling, Soarynn glances outside to see the extensive grounds that surround the Presidential Mansion. From what she’s heard, President Snow is meticulous about the upkeep of his gardens, and he has an entire greenhouse full of roses.

“The children, are they…are they as outgoing as they appear on television?” She implores, only knowing President Snow’s three children from the brief snippets she’s seen of them on television, mostly from Lucky Flickerman’s television show.

Eudora chuckles, “They’ve certainly never met a stranger, but then again they were born into this spotlight, so I suppose it’s only natural that they embrace the attention. But after the death of their mother, they’ve more tucked away, Coriolanus doesn’t let them do nearly as much as they did before Livia passed.”

Soarynn swallows down every piece of information she can get about her possible employer and his children. Should she get this job, keeping his children happy will be the most important thing in her entire life.

They come to a halt in front of two large wooden doors and Eudora sighs, giving Soarynn a somewhat sympathetic smile, “This is his study. He’ll speak with you, assess you, and decide if you’re worthy of being trusted with the privilege of watching over his children.”

Well, that’s not making her feel any better.

Soarynn must not be doing a good job at hiding her nerves because Eudora gives her arm a gentle squeeze, “Don’t fret dear, you’re not the first nanny and you most likely won’t be the last either. Nothing is personal, strictly business. Should you get the job then I’ll help you get settled and learn the ropes.”

Should. There’s a lot riding on that particular word.

Soarynn takes a deep breath, “Alright, I suppose I shouldn’t delay any longer.”

She watches Eudora slip into the study and waits with bated breath for what feels like hours before Eudora comes back out and nods for her to enter, “President Snow will see you now.”

Soarynn quietly steps into his study, closing the doors behind her before planting herself in front of them.

He’s sitting behind a large desk, probably the biggest desk she’s ever seen.

A wall of windows is behind him, and to the left and right the walls are made of bookcases. There’s also a fireplace built into the left wall with a small sitting area surrounding it composed of armchairs and sofas. Soarynn notices the small bar cart of brown and amber liquids as well, he must have a drink or two while running the country.

She stands as still as a statue for at least a minute before he finally looks up from his work and beckons her forward with the wave of his hand, “Come in Ms. Nightingale.”

Soarynn does her best to remain calm, composed, and above all, like a stellar Capitol citizen.

She slowly sinks into one of the armchairs that sits across from his desk, crossing her ankles over one another and clasping her hands in her lap. A proper lady if she’s ever seen one before.

President Snow doesn’t seem to be in a rush to conduct this meeting, in fact, he doesn’t seem to care at all as he continues writing on several documents that lay before him.

Soarynn takes this as an opportunity to truly study the President of Panem up close and personal. He’s as handsome as he appears on television, at twenty-five he’s got a chiseled jaw and a gorgeous smile from what she’s seen. His hair is lighter in person though, and his hair seems to be more curly as well. Perhaps he slicks his curls back with gel when making public appearances.

He’s deeply focused, his blue eyes scanning the papers while he scribbles the occasional note on them.

Soarynn looks at the right corner of his desk where a single photograph sits. It’s at an angle to where she can see that the photograph is of his three children. Not his wife.

She tears her eyes away from the framed photograph and finds him looking right at her, his piercing blue eyes analyzing her. Soarynn sits up a bit straighter, still unsure of how to go about this interview.

President Snow sits back in his chair, at ease in his home, "You're younger than the others."

Soarynn blinks once, twice, "Pardon?"

He sighs, "The other nannies that I've hired, you're younger than all of them."

All she can do is nod.

"Your resume impressed me Ms. Nightingale, and you managed to pass all the background checks with flying colors as well. So tell me, why do you think you'd be a suitable nanny for my children?"

Soarynn can feel her hands shaking, but she's prepared herself for a question like this. "I'm very good with children," she tells him, "I'm dependable and organized, and I see this job as a great honor."

President Snow scoffs a laugh and tilts his head back, "Yes, a great honor," he mumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose, "running after my children at all hours of the day is a great service to the country of Panem."

Soarynn finds herself feeling a bit small now, she didn't know what to expect from President Snow but he's just full of surprises it seems.

He sits back up, resting his forearms on his desk, "I won't pretend that you're the first nanny that's walked through my door, and to be quite honest with you, you probably won't be the last nanny either. My children need a source of stability, do you understand? The death of their mother shook our family, and I've been left to pick up the pieces it seems."

Soarynn nods, she remembers clear as day when the death of Livia Snow was announced. It shook the entire nation, and the Presidential family more than anyone.

"I understand sir."

"Good, good. My oldest, Ceraphina, she remembers the most about her mother but, even she's starting to forget Livia more and more. I'd appreciate it if you didn't refresh her memory on it any further. I want to move forward, not backward."

"Yes sir."

President Snow scans her body for a moment, nodding to himself, "You seem like a good fit for our family Ms. Nightingale, but let me make one thing perfectly clear, my children are to be your first and top priority. Nothing else matters but them. They're all I have now that Livia is gone. I can't have any more children. They're my future. My legacy. Should it come down to it, your life will come before theirs."

It's a rather large and daunting pill to swallow. Soarynn knew the risks of this job going into it, that should the children's lives be put at risk, she would be expected to give up her own. But it leads her to wonder, who on earth would want to hurt children?

"Of course sir."

That seems to be all he needs to hear because President Snow picks his pen back up and opens up one of the drawers in his desk, pulling out a file and tossing it onto the desk. "It says here in your file that you're Glen Nightingale's daughter. Allow me to offer you my condolences on his passing."

Soarynn didn't expect her father to be brought into this but perhaps this is a way of testing her emotional stability. Can she work under pressure?

"Thank you," she says quietly, looking down at her lap.

"How did he pass?"

"Heart failure," she answers, "we...we didn't see it coming. But he left me with everything I could possibly need."

President Snow grunts in approval, "A good man then. I do believe that our fathers were good friends back in the day, I used to go to dinners with them when I was just a boy."

It's hard to picture President Snow dining with her own father but she doesn't find it impossible. Stranger things have happened.

"Yes, he was very well connected," Soarynn agrees, shifting in her seat.

President Snow flips open her file, scanning the pages and Soarynn can see a standard photograph of her on one of the pages. "You can see my information?" She asks, her curiosity getting the best of her.

President Snow looks a bit surprised at her question but he nods, "Yes, I'm granted access to all information concerning citizens of Panem. This is mostly to ensure that you're of sound mind and body, and to make sure I know exactly where your loyalties lie."

Her loyalties.

"I can assure you that my loyalties lie within the safety of the Capitol sir," she says, "I attended the Academy, same as my father."

He looks her up and down, leaning a bit closer towards her, "I'm well aware of your loyalties. But let me make one thing perfectly clear Ms. Nightingale, your getting this job has nothing to do with your family name. It has nothing to do with your father being friends with my father. All I care about is your skillset and devotion to the well-being of my children. Am I clear?"

Soarynn swallows, "Crystal."

He sits back up, closing her file, "Good. You'll start today, meet the children, learn the house and the routines. Eudora will help you with the rest. Should you fail to meet my standards, you'll be fired immediately."

"Thank you, sir."

He waves her off and Soarynn all but runs out of her seat, desperate to get out of President Snow's scrutinizing gaze. She goes to pull open the doors when his deep voice stops her in her tracks.

"And Ms. Nightingale?"

Soarynn looks at him from over her shoulder, "Yes sir?"

"You are not their mother. Don't try to be something you're not, do you understand? My children don't need another mother, they need a nanny."

Soarynn bites her lip before answering, "Yes sir."

꧁ ꧂

Eudora Trinket can talk a lot.

She rambles on and on about all the procedures and routines Soarynn should be aware of while they walk through the Mansion. Soarynn can't help but marvel at how big it is, and how many people they pass through the halls. According to Eudora, all the staff are Avoxes, aside from the Peacekeepers.

"Now Coriolanus almost always goes out to dinner at night, so the children are asleep when he comes home."

Soarynn nods along to Eudora's words as they begin to climb up the grand staircase, "There's a back staircase as well for staff that you can use, the children use it often. Now, under no circumstances should Coriolanus be disturbed at any time, not even the children should bother him during the day. That's how the last nanny got fired."

Soarynn shivers at those foreboding words. This job is not promised. Any day could be her last.

Once they reach the second floor, it becomes much more quiet. "The family's rooms are all on this hall," Eudora leads them down a particular hallway, "Coriolanus sleeps here, and the children's rooms are all down here along with their playroom. You're allowed to come up and down as you please, just don't disturb Coriolanus if he's in his room."

They stop in front of another door and Soarynn can hear laughter from the inside. "You know their names correct?"

"Yes. Ceraphina, Celeste, and Caspian."

"Good. I'll let you get acquainted with them. Coriolanus wants you to start immediately, so your day will be done when he gets home from dinner tonight." Soarynn hadn't thought about how long she'd be here but she supposes that there are worse places to work at.

"Alright. Should I need any help, I suppose I should come and ask you?"

Eudora hums, "Yes dear. I have a complimentary bedroom downstairs for when I'm required to spend the night, but I do most of my work in the red sitting room, the children will know where that is."

Soarynn glances down at the golden door handle and notices another rose engraved into it. He must really like roses.

Eudora quietly opens the door and Soarynn peers into the playroom to find it quite colorful and bright. The entire back wall is made up of windows with a long bench pressed against it to serve as a window seat it seems. There are books, toys, stuffed animals, and dresses scattered across the floor.

Three blonde children run around the room shrieking as they chase each other. Or well, the girls are chasing one another, and their brother is sitting on the floor watching them.

"Children," Eudora says sternly, causing them to stop in their tracks, "I'd like to introduce you to your new nanny. This is Soarynn."

Here goes nothing, Soarynn thinks to herself before stepping into the room. All three Snow children gaze up at her with wide blue eyes, "You have blonde hair like us," Ceraphina, the oldest, says, scanning Soarynn up and down, "the other nanny had black hair." Soarynn offers her a smile, "Well people come in all different shapes and colors."

Eudora crouches down and beckons the girls closer to her, "I expect you to show her how things are done, and I expect you girls to be on your best behavior alright? Make your father proud." Both girls give Eudora a determined look and they nod, looking back up at Soarynn, "You can come play with us," Celeste says, "we're playing tea party."

Soarynn raises her eyebrows, "Well that sounds delightful."

She carefully steps over several toys and follows the girls to a small table tucked in the corner, where most seats are occupied by dolls. "Do your dolls have names?" She implores, remembering how obsessed she was with dolls when she was younger. Celeste nods and picks one of the dolls up, "Yes! This one is Sofie, she's a princess."

Ceraphina grabs the teapot and opens the lid, "And our Daddy is the President of Panem." Soarynn nods along, "Yes he is, his job is very important." Ceraphina tilts her head and takes another step towards Soarynn, not stopping until they're toe to toe, "Are you gonna leave like the other nanny?"

Soarynn wishes she could give Ceraphina assurances, but her father made it very clear that tomorrow was not promised. Soarynn crouches down until she's at eye level with Ceraphina and tucks a stray curl behind her ear, "I'm going to be here as long as I possibly can, okay?" It seems that Ceraphina wanted to hear something along those lines because she breaks into a big smile, "Perfect! Our Mommy died so we don't have a Mommy anymore, right Celeste?"

Celeste who's making her doll drink imaginary tea perks up and nods, "Yep, Mommy died because she was sick. Daddy says so."

Soarynn cards her fingers through her hair and sighs, "Yes, I heard about that, I'm so very sorry for your loss." Ceraphina shrugs and reaches out to touch Soarynn's shirt, "It's okay, I get to go to school next year, Daddy says so."

"Momma." Soarynn looks over to the left where Caspian, the youngest of the Snow children has slowly pushed himself up and is carefully walking over to them, "Cas, Mommy isn't here anymore, remember? Now Soarynn takes care of us," Ceraphina explains, taking his small hand in her small one.

Caspian pouts and looks down at his small shoes, "Soar."

Soarynn smiles and reaches out to run a hand over his blonde curls, "That's right Caspian, I'm here to take care of you all. Now why don't we have some tea?"

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn never knew that children could have so much energy until now.

She's steps behind the girls who are running ahead of her, leading her to what's supposedly the ballroom. "Come on!" Ceraphina calls, waving her over, "It's this way!" Soarynn tightens her hold on Caspian's small hand as they slowly walk down the hallway, making sure not to walk too fast for his pace, "We're coming."

The Snow children are from what she's gathered, more aware than they're given credit for. Both girls are extremely smart and outgoing, always wanting to take the lead whereas Caspian is quiet as a mouse. Ceraphina says he wasn't always this way, that he talked more before Livia died. Now he simply latches onto the nearest stuffed animal which in today's case, is Lenny the lion.

"Lenny," Caspian says, holding up his stuffed animal for Soarynn to see again. She nods and squeezes Caspian's hand, "I can see that. Are you sure that you want to bring Lenny outside?"

Soarynn had suggested going to play outside after being cooped up in the playroom for a good two hours, figuring a little fresh air couldn't hurt. Both girls are waiting for them when they finally reach the ballroom and it's bigger than Soarynn could've imagined. "Oh my," she whispers, "nothing is small in this house is it?"

Ceraphina skips over to her, her curls bouncing, "C'mon Soarynn! C'mon Caspian, let's go outside!"

Caspian it seems is still debating whether or not to bring his beloved stuffed lion but he comes to a conclusion and gives Soarynn a nod, “Outside Lenny.”

Well, if that’s what he wants.

All four of them make their way across the shiny ballroom floor, it’s so perfectly polished that Soarynn can see her reflection in it. “Do you come into this room often?” She asks, glancing up at the ornate ceiling. Celeste twirls in front of her, holding out her arms for balance, “Nope! Ever since Mommy died we stopped having parties.”

Oh, well, best not to bring up the ballroom again.

Soarynn can’t help but feel as if she’s digging up old memories of the children’s mother. Perhaps she should stick to more surface-level topics like coloring and playing dress-up.

She lets out a deep sigh when they finally push open the large doors that lead to the terrace. The sun is shining and the birds are chirping, gladly welcoming the Snow children and their new nanny to a beautiful summer day.

The girls run ahead once again, twirling by the steps that lead down to the grounds. “Look at the clouds!” Celeste calls out, pointing at the white fluffy clouds. Soarynn looks down to find Caspian staring up at the sky with fascination, “Cloud,” he says, reaching his small hand up.

Soarynn nods, “That’s right, there are quite a few clouds today.”

“Let’s go play in the gardens!”

Soarynn nods to Ceraphina’s words and leads her and Caspian over to the steps, coming to a halt when she realizes just how many steps they’ll have to take. Caspian seems to be able to walk by himself for the most part, but she’d rather not test it.

“Do you mind if I pick you up?” She asks, feeling a bit silly asking a two-year-old for permission but he’s not just any two-year-old, no, he’s the President of Panem’s only son. He’ll be treated as such.

Caspian seems to give it some thought before he nods, “Up,” he agrees, allowing Soarynn to swoop him up and hold him on her hip. He barely weighs anything to her and this will be much easier for conquering the stairs.

It's adorable how quickly he clings to her, resting his head on her chest while one of his hands holds her shirt. From what she's seen he's a very sweet little boy, quiet but sweet. Anyone must be quiet in comparison to his sisters though who are very outspoken.

Once they reach the ground she goes to put him down but Caspian clings to her even tighter, "No!" Soarynn's eyes widen in surprise, but she won't be the one to deny him. "Alright," she says, "don't need to tell me twice."

They follow the girls around while they play, chasing butterflies and giggling, happy as can be. Caspian watches in fascination but makes no indications of wanting to be put back down. He's as comfy as can be. A butterfly lands on top of his stuffed lion after a while of the girls chasing it, dangling precariously on Lenny the lion.

Soarynn gasps, smiling at how confused Caspian seems at the butterfly, "It's a butterfly Caspian," she tells him, "looks like he likes Lenny." Ceraphina and Celeste eye the butterfly with mischievous smiles, "Can we hold Lenny Caspian?" Ceraphina asks, rocking back and forth on her heels.

Soarynn can see where this is going and it'll end in tears.

"I don't think so," she answers for Caspian who clutches onto Lenny for dear life, Ceraphina frowns but Soarynn doesn't want a dead butterfly on her hands. Their father wouldn't be very pleased with that.

Both girls settle for simply watching the butterfly and Soarynn can't help but feel as if they're being watched. Which she's sure they are, but by security. Where the Snow children go, Peacekeepers are sure to follow to ensure their safety at all times.

She looks up at the Mansion, her eyes zeroing in on a figure standing by one of the windows. President Snow.

She feels caught even though she's doing nothing wrong. Being under his scrutinizing gaze is more than enough to make someone feel guilty.

Soarynn turns so Caspian can see his father, "Look Caspian," she points, "there's your father." All three children look up and the girls gasp, waving up at the most intimidating man in the world, "Hi Daddy!" Caspian simply stares up at the window, his bright blue eyes watching his father.

President Snow doesn't wave back and a moment later he's turning away from the window, his attention seemingly called elsewhere. "Does your father ever come outside with you?" Soarynn asks Ceraphina who seems to have all the answers to her questions.

Ceraphina shakes her head, "Nope. Mommy didn't like us playing outside because she'd get her shoes dirty."

The more she hears about Livia Snow, the more she wonders about her. "I see. Why don't we go play over here?" Soarynn suggests, wanting to get their mind off of their mother as much as she can.

It is, after all, her job to make them happy.

꧁ ꧂

"Coriolanus is going to be at dinner tonight, so you'll stay with the children until he gets back home," Eudora tells her. Soarynn can only nod along to her words, "Alright. I suppose the children will be having dinner early then?"

They're seated in one of the many sitting rooms the President's Mansion has. This one is entirely red, from the furniture to the wall color. Soarynn can't help but study Eudora Trinket now that they're up close and personal. She's very beautiful, with long eyelashes and perfect skin. She must know all the ins and outs after working with the Snow family for so long.

"Yes, the most important part of their nighttime routines is simply making sure that they're all asleep before Coriolanus gets home. He doesn't like coming home to a house full of wild children, not that the children could ever be wild," she mumbles. "Anyways, Caspian is the hardest to get down, he's been quite fussy since his mother passed away, nothing seems to calm him down these days so any tricks are appreciated. Coriolanus doesn't want to turn to medication to get him to sleep."

Soarynn frowns at the suggestion of giving that sweet little boy medicine to make him fall asleep. She'll make sure he's dreaming of happy things before his father gets home tonight.

"I'll see to it that all the children are sound asleep when President Snow arrives," Soarynn assures her, glancing out into the hallway where all three children are playing on the floor with their toys. Eudora had found them all outside and called them in so she could go over a few more things with Soarynn.

She gave them all lemonade and cherry tarts, a delicious snack in Soarynn's opinion.

"How have they been so far? I know the girls can tend to get a little too excited whenever there's a new nanny in the house," Eudora says softly, giving Soarynn a somewhat sympathetic look. Soarynn shrugs and offers her a tight-lipped smile, "They've been wonderful. And a great help in showing me where everything is. It'll take a few days for me to get my bearings."

Soarynn knew the Presidential Mansion was big, but she never imagined it would be this big. It's like a maze with all these corridors and hallways, small rooms and large rooms.

Eudora chuckles, taking a sip of her lemonade, "Yes, the Mansion can be quite confusing. I think Coriolanus prefers it that way." Soarynn raises her eyebrows, surprised at what the President seems to prefer and not prefer, "You must be close to him then if you can call him by his first name?"

Eudora hums, tracing the rim of her glass with her finger, "Not necessarily close, but he knows I'm not going anywhere. After Livia passed it was so strange, he was so...dependent on me, and Coriolanus is very independent, very closed off as you've seen. But it was as if he needed me to tell him what to do every five minutes. I think he was in shock if I'm being honest. Nothing prepares you to become a single parent you know."

Soarynn nods, while she doesn't have any children of her own, she certainly knows what it feels like to lose a parent, a loved one.

"I see him as a nephew," Eudora continues, "sometimes a rather annoying one but I do care for him and his children deeply. They're a good family, and he tries to be a good father. It's not easy running a country and looking after three children, so the search for a reliable nanny has been rather difficult these past few months."

"Soarynn? Can we go play something else?"

Both women snap back into focus at Celeste's question and Soarynn is quick to put on a smile and wipe her hands off on her skirt, "Of course we can sweetheart, let's go back to the playroom."

Celeste smiles up at her, reaching for Soarynn's hand and she gladly takes it, "Okay! Daddy bought us new dresses to play dress-up in, maybe you can fit into one!"

Soarynn hums, slowly standing up from the sofa and giving Eudora a nod, "We'll see you at dinner?"

"You will dear," Eudora confirms.

"Let's go, let's go!" Celeste chants, dragging Soarynn towards her siblings, "I'm coming, I'm coming," Soarynn mumbles, watching the other two Snow children light up when they see her walking towards them.

"You're gonna play dress-up with us?" Ceraphina asks, her blue-gray eyes twinkling with excitement. Soarynn gives her a confirming nod, bending down to pick up Caspian who's already reaching out for her, "I sure am."

"Are you gonna play other games with us too?"

Soarynn adjusts Caspian on her hip, not wanting him to slip while they go up the stairs, "I'll play whatever games you want me to play."

And she means it too. Whatever makes them happy.

꧁ ꧂

"Come on girls, it's time for bed."

Neither of the girls put up a fight which Soarynn is grateful for. It's been a long day.

"Will you read us a story?"

"I sure will."

All three children have their own rooms but Soarynn learned at dinner that Ceraphina and Celeste prefer to sleep in the same room together. She didn't need Eudora to tell her why, she already knew why. Because their mother died so now everything was different than it was before.

She finds it rather sweet though, how no matter how much these girls have, they always choose to stick together. And all three children could easily sleep in one room considering the sheer size of their bedrooms. Ceraphina's is all pink, with a large canopy bed filled to the brim with stuffed animals. Soarynn doesn't know how they manage to get any sleep but the girls claim that the animals help keep them safe.

They both run to the bed, dressed in the softest pajamas with their hair braided down their backs. Soarynn had been a bit nervous about bath time since she found that children either loved it or hated it, but the girls didn't put up any fuss, only wanting her to style their hair once they were done.

"Come look at all our stuffed animals," Ceraphina calls out, crawling over her sheets to gather as many animals as she possibly can. Soarynn spots several bunny rabbits and horses. "My goodness, you two certainly have quite the collection," Soarynn says, sitting on the edge of the bed. Celeste giggles and flops onto the pile of pillows, "Yep! Daddy always buys us stuffed animals when he goes away on trips."

Soarynn pales at the thought of President Snow going away on business. She hadn't seen him once today besides that moment in the window, but just knowing that he was here in case anything went wrong made her feel much better. To have him in the Districts worries her.

"How thoughtful of him," she murmurs, pinching the bedsheets between her fingers, "what story do you want to hear tonight?"

Both girls scrunch their noses while they think, a cute habit they must've picked up from one of their parents. Ceraphina being the oldest is the first to have an answer, "The one about the bunny rabbits in the meadow." Celeste perks up at that suggestion and quickly nods, a few of her shorter curls springing loose, "Yes! Eudora doesn't do the voices like Daddy does."

Soarynn frowns, "The voices?"

"Mhm. Whenever Daddy reads to us he does funny voices for the characters."

Oh, how...sweet. Soarynn didn't even think that President Snow ever put his girls to sleep but apparently, there have been enough times for them to grow used to his silly voices. And what a silly thought to picture the President of Panem changing his voice to mimic bunny rabbits.

A parent's love knows no bounds.

"Alright, I'll do the voices, although I won't be as good as your father," Soarynn warns them, earning her some giggles. "It's okay," Celeste tells her, "the other nanny never read us bedtime stories."

What monster did they hire before her?

Soarynn pushes those thoughts away and goes to search for their requested book, mentally preparing to come up with some bunny rabbit voices.

How hard can it be?

꧁ ꧂

"I know," Soarynn whispers, bouncing a wailing Caspian up and down, "but you're so tired sweet boy, you need to go to bed."

Caspian tries to wiggle out of her hold but Soarynn will be damned if she drops the President's son because he doesn't want to go to bed. "No! Momma want Momma!" He cries out for the hundredth time.

Soarynn sighs, she hadn't anticipated Caspian putting up such a fuss about bedtime. The girls went down easy after she read them a bedtime story. It nearly broke her heart when they both made sure to confirm that she'd be coming back tomorrow.

She can't imagine how many times those sweet girls have watched another woman walk out of their lives, almost the same way their mother did.

But she promised them that she'd come back tomorrow.

Unless their father decides to fire her tonight.

"Do you want Lenny?" Soarynn asks, grabbing the stuffed lion off from his dresser, "No Lenny," Caspian says, more tears falling down his chubby little cheeks. Soarynn gently wipes away his tears, glancing at the clock again. It's almost eight o'clock, far past his bedtime but Caspian is not going down without a fight it seems.

Soarynn looks out the large windows of his nursery, wondering what it would be like for this to be your view every day, the Mansion grounds with the Capitol right behind your backyard. The children don't even blink at the idea of their father being the President.

A wild idea crosses her mind but it's better than the other things she's tried. "Why don't I sing you a song hmm? Would you like a lullaby?"

Caspian hiccups, his cries faltering at her suggestion. He probably understands more than he lets onto but Soarynn can't really blame him. He's the baby of the family.

Soarynn walks over to the rocking chair, groaning when she finally sits down and gets off her feet, "Much better," she decides, smoothing down his curls, "See? It's alright Caspian, you're alright."

She digs through the rolodex of songs in her mind, she always loved to sing, even sang in the choir at the Academy for a couple years. But once her father passed away, she hasn't felt like singing a whole lot.

But tonight calls for all the stops.

Soarynn cradles his head agasint her chest, rocking them back and forth when she begins to sing.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow, A bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your eyes, and when they open, the sun will rise. Here it's safe, here it's warm, here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you."

Soarynn swallows after signing the last line, remembering her father kissing her forehead whenever he'd sing it.

She presses a soft kiss to Caspian's forehead, smiling at how precious he looks when he's asleep.

She rocks them for a little longer, humming the song to keep him asleep before she finally stands up and walks him over to his crib. Eudora says he'll get a bed once he turns three, but until then he's got his crib, beautifully carved mahogany at that.

"Sweet dreams sweet boy," she whispers, carefully placing him down in his crib, making sure he has Lenny the lion within his grasp just in case he needs a friend.

Soarynn watches him sleep for a moment, wanting to make sure he doesn't wake up needing anything.

She can't help but feel an internal need to protect these children, to care for them and make sure they know how loved they are, even if it's not really her place to do so.

She finally leaves, quietly closing the doors behind her and letting out a breath of relief once she's finally alone.

Today felt like five years compressed into one.

And it's only her first day.

Still, she enjoyed getting to know the children. All that's left for her to do is wait for their father to return home. So she settles in the playroom, curling up on one of the larger sofas they have with the book she brought along with her in case she had some free time. After today, she knows she won't.

Soarynn listens out for anyone calling her name, the sound of any children padding down the empty hallways but she hears nothing.

Nothing until heavy footsteps announce themselves at the playroom doors. Soarynn looks up wide-eyed at President Snow who's lingering in the doorway, watching her.

"I...you're back," she finally manages to get out, her voice merely a whisper.

He nods, stepping into the playroom, "I am, and none of my children were there to greet me at the door so I suppose you succeeded in getting them all to sleep."

Soarynn swallows, praying that one of the children doesn't decide to make a grand entrance right now, "I did," she replies.

President Snow looks around the playroom, his eyes scanning over all the toys and miniature pieces of furniture he probably had custom-made for his children, "Haven't been in here for a while."

Soarynn closes her book, she wasn't prepared for small talk. "The children seem to enjoy playing in here together."

He slowly nods, his eyes traveling up and down her body. She took of her shoes but now she's wishing she kept the heels on, she must look so unprofessional.

"Dinner was good then?" She asks, immediately wishing she had just kept her mouth shut. She's the nanny, not the assistant.

President Snow raises his eyebrows at her question while she waits for him to fire her on the spot, but he surprises her. "It was good," he agrees, "long but good."

They both sit in their silence for a few beats, neither of them knowing what to say until he cards his fingers through his curls, "Why don't we check on the children so you can go home?"

Soarynn shoots up from the sofa, grabbing her things and slipping on her heels, "Excellent idea."

He steps to the side so she can walk out and Soarynn feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up when she feels his warm breath on her for a second. But then it's gone and they're both walking side by side towards the children's rooms.

"They were well-behaved today?"

"Yes sir."

"Good," he grunts, clasping his hands behind his back, "I've never known them not to be," he adds.

Soarynn believes him, the Snow children are very sweet.

They stop at Ceraphina's doors and Soarynn carefully cracks them open, peering in to see both girls under the covers, sound asleep with stuffed animals in their hands. She can feel President Snow right behind her, his presence is overwhelming. She looks up to find that he has a genuine look on his normally stern face, a small smile splayed across his lips.

"They can't stand to be apart," he whispers, backing up so that she can close the doors, "they might as well be twins."

Soarynn chuckles, "They certainly act like twins."

She's never seen sisters be so close before, so in tune with one another.

President Snow hums, "Yes, well it's good they're both asleep. They've had a busy day."

How do you even know that? She wants to ask him but Soarynn chides herself while they walk down to Caspian's nursery, she's sure he has all sorts of people telling him about every little thing his children do when he's not with them.

She holds her breath when he opens the doors to Caspian's nursery, praying that they aren't welcomed by wailing but all she hears is silence. She peers in to see him still asleep, Lenny hugged to his chest now.

Soarynn does her best not to look entirely relieved.

President Snow watches his son for a moment, long enough for Soarynn to look back in, just to make sure something isn't amiss but it all looks good to her.

"No one's ever been able to get him to sleep," he says softly, disbelief reflecting in his piercing blue eyes, "no one except me and Livia."

Soarynn wonders if that's supposed to be a compliment, supposed to make her feel proud. She thinks back to Caspian crying for his mother, desperately seeking her out even though she no longer exists.

"I just sang him a lullaby," she explains, brushing her hair behind her ears. President Snow closes the doors gently before looking down at her, so imposing and authoritative, "It must have been some lullaby. He's never slept like this since Livia passed," he says, shaking his head, "every nanny would greet me with a wailing son and tired eyes."

Soarynn is most definitely tired but she's missing a crying Caspian and she's proud of that. He wasn't too fussy once she started singing. "Well I'm glad that you were able to be greeted by a quiet house," is what she finally says, not wanting to say the wrong thing and come off as cocky or arrogant.

He nods, rubbing the back of his neck, "Me as well. I suppose that's all for today then, my driver will take you home."

Soarynn wants to jump for joy, she survived the first day! But she refrains from doing so and simply nods, "That's very kind of you. Thank you, sir."

President Snow hums, already padding down the hall to his own room. "Goodnight Ms. Nightingale," he calls, not even looking back at her.

Soarynn watches him go, he must be terribly lonely in this big Mansion, with no one to truly talk to unless he's paying them to listen. She's no different then, just another employee.

"Goodnight sir," she whispers, turning on her heel to walk in the opposite direction.

She quietly makes her way downstairs, towards the side entrance Eudora had shown her after dinner. The front entrance was for big spectacles, important visitors who had to be seen entering the President's Mansion to send a message to those watching. On a daily basis, those who worked and lived inside the Mansion used the side entrance since it was more secluded and just easier to access.

Soarynn is met by the President's driver and the cool evening air, "Good evening Ms. Nightingale," the driver greets her with a curt bow at the waist, "you reside on Cornelia Street, is that correct?"

Soarynn doesn't even want to know how he knows where she lives. "Yes," is all she says before slipping into the car. It's quite possibly the most luxurious vehicle she's ever been inside of with custom-wrapped leather seats, a small mini bar, and so much leg room. Ten people could easily fit inside of this car.

She leans against the window once the car begins to move, watching as a side gate opens up for the car, guarded by two Peacekeepers armed with guns. She'll have to get used to their presence.

She nearly drifts off to sleep but snaps herself awake when she sees the familiar townhouses that neighbor her own. Her fingers trail along the fine leather interior, stopping at the door handle where there's another rose engraved into the metal.

He must love roses.

The car comes to a quiet stop and the driver opens the door for her a moment later, promising to be back in the morning to pick her up. Soarynn didn't think she'd be given privileges such as this but she's not complaining. This is much better than walking.

Soarynn yawns once she's within the safety of her own home, so very ready to get some sleep. She still can't believe she got the job, that she works for the President of Panem now. She ought to do everything in her power to keep this job for the sake of the children.

She just hopes it doesn't come at the cost of her own sanity.

| Part 1. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

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coldfanbou · 2 years ago

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Internship

So this was an old request "Winter secretary for the new CEO, she really hopes that her boss will be a man that can ride her hard here and there but to her disappointment the boss was a woman, she likes either with strap on or real dick, but her boss was to tense, and that stress her so when a new male intern being appointed to help her job she already knows this will be her prey for every night and she will savor it deliciously, and she will make the intern stay in her condo to breed her." There is the original request. I did make some modifications. Please enjoy. There's some self-degradation, a slight breeding kink, and some rough sex.

Length 2.2K

Winter X Mreader.

At her new job, Winter had hoped that she would have a boss that could fuck her. She always loved being fucked in an office where someone could walk in. It didn't matter to her if it was a strap-on or a real cock. She just wanted to get fucked. When she met her boss, they couldn't have been further from what she wanted. It was a middle-aged woman who was the most intense person Winter had met. It stressed Winter, just being in a room with her for less than a minute. When she was assigned an intern to help her with her work, Winter couldn't help but smile. Her dream of being fucked on the job could still be a reality.

During the interview, you were asked many questions, most involving answers that ensured you would be dedicated to the job. This was despite being just an intern. You watched as a beautiful woman stepped into the interview room at the final stage. She was younger than the others and dressed much more casually. She wore a black tank top with a knitted gray long sleeve over it. You note her shoulders were still revealed. Instead of the usual pants or a skirt, she wore black sweatpants. "This is Ms. Winter. She's the one who would be leading you with work." The main interviewer said as he motioned to her. "I'm sorry for calling you on your day off."

"Don't worry about it. I understand that I'd need to show what I do. I can take it from here; I'll be back with him in 30 minutes."

"Yes, thank you. We'll be going out to lunch in the meantime. Here are our notes on the candidate."

"Thank you, enjoy your lunch." As the interviewers leave the room, Winter's gaze falls on you. "I think you'll do very well." You could hear some excitement in her voice as she said that. "Come along; I'll show you to my office." As you walked through the busy cubicles, you looked at everyone as they rushed around the room. When you turn back to Winter, she's skipping along with her hands behind her back. You enter a short jog as she enters her office in the corner. The heavy metal door swings closed behind you as you barely skirt inside. Winter walks toward the full-length glass. "It’s a wonderful view, isn't it?" She turns her head back to catch you in her peripheral vision. "Come here, take a look." You stand nervously beside her. You look down at the people below; they all look so small from the sixth story. As the building rested on a large hill, you could look over most of the city and see the tops of other buildings. Focused on the landscape before you, you barely notice Winter sneak behind you. What draws your attention is the metallic sound of your belt buckle being undone. Her finger reaches up to your lips, keeping you quiet. "Please be quiet and just enjoy. It's not like everyone less would be able to hear you, but I find the silence nice." Winter drops your pants and reaches inside your boxers. Her soft hand wraps around your cock, "Oh my, you're so big, and you're not even hard yet." Winter's other hand, works on undoing the buttons of your shirt. "Help me a little, would you?"

"Ms. Winter-"

"Just call me Winter."

"Winter, this isn't appropriate."

"Consider it as part of the interview. I need to know if my intern can do their job right. Besides, don't you want this? I saw you look at me earlier." Winter's hand starts to stroke your cock as she continues to speak, "Don't you just want to fuck me? Stretch my little pussy with your big hard cock, and make me scream your name. Doesn't that sound nice?" You start imagining it, your cock slamming into Winter's small body. You begin moaning her name. "That’s a good boy," she whispers into your ear. "Now unbutton that shirt for me." She commanded. You followed your orders, and once your shirt was gone, Winter ran her hands along your body. "Ooh, that's nice; you'll do great. Now let's free that cock of yours."

Winter slowly pulls down your boxers and your cock springs from its painful constraints. "Just keep looking at that scenery; let me get you off." Her hand recaptures your cock, stroking you slowly, moving from base to tip. As you coo, Winter giggles. "That's it; enjoy my soft hands gliding along your cock." As she reached your tip, her thumb moved around the edges of the head.

"Fuck, Winter, that feels so good."

"Keep watching that skyline." She ordered as her hand continued to play with your cock. You could feel her lips plant small kisses on your back as her left ran across your body. Your cock began to throb in her hands, and your balls tightened. "Cum for me, baby; I know you're close. Cum for me." She repeated.

"Fuck."

"It’s okay, baby, cum on my pretty little hands." She whispered. Unable to hold on, your release all the tension coating Winter's hand in your cum when it was by your head. The rest of your cum landed on the window. Winter continued to stroke your cock, making sure you gave her everything you had. Once your orgasm was over, she had a taste of your cum. "So salty and warm," she commented. "Just what I needed, but we're not done just yet. Sit on my chair." Winter led you by your cock, her hand squeezing your head. As you sat down, she told you to enjoy the show.

After kicking off her shoes, she unbuttons her long sleeve, letting it fall to the floor afterward. She teases you by lifting her shirt just enough to let you see the bottom of her breasts before letting it fall back down. Her hands are on the waistband of her sweatpants as she turns away from you and bends over. She pulls them down slowly, revealing her pink panties with a large wet spot. Stepping out of her sweatpants, she flings off her tank top to reveal her perky breasts as she turns back around, her light brown nipples already hard. "Let me get out of these before I really ruin them," she says as she slowly drops her panties.

Winter steps forward, falling to her knees just in front of you. As she scoots closer to your cock she licks her lips. "Now, here's where we both get to enjoy ourselves." Her eyes wander upward until they meet yours. "I want you to facefuck me."

"What?"

"You heard me, facefuck me. Make me choke on your cock; use me."

"But."

"No buts, this is going to be our relationship. That is if you do a good job. It's going to be give and take between us. I use you; you use me. Sounds fair, doesn't it? Now fuck my face, baby." Winter opens her mouth, her tongue sticking out. Her expression is filled with lust, practically begging you to use her. Taking hold of your cock you slide it into her awaiting mouth. Winter's tongue slides along the underside, moving from side to side. As you hit the back of her throat, she moans. You enjoy the feeling of her warm mouth being wrapped around your cock. Her tongue tries to taste as much of your cock as possible while you hold her down. With your hands on her head, you start bucking your hips, ramming your cock further down her throat. You notice Winter's hand playing with her pussy as you use her. You're aroused by seeing her become submissive and move faster. The tightness of her throat feels like heaven to you as she chokes on your cock. Tears form on her face as she struggles to breathe. Winter's hand grips your thigh as she tries to stay on your cock. Eventually, you let her breathe, and a thick coating of saliva runs down her face and down her throat. Breathing heavily, she says, "I'm good, keep going," with a smile.

You continue, your cock hitting the back of her throat as she takes it all in. Soon enough, you feel another orgasm coming. You stand up from the chair and put more force into your thrusts. Winter moans, feeling you grow rougher with her; her fingers plunge deeper into her pussy as it leaks her sweet nectar onto the floor.

"I'm cumming, Winter, drink it all," you groan as you hold her head to the base of your cock and start filling her stomach with your semen. Winter's body trembles as she goes through her orgasm. The grip on your thigh grows weaker until she eventually lets go and places her hand on the floor. As you pull out, you hear Winter laugh. It's a delirious laugh as she sticks her fingers in her mouth and sucks on them. It was just for the sake of having something thing in her mouth.

"Mmm, that was nice," she moaned as she rocked back and forth. Winter struggles to stand and uses her desk to stand. Laying her head against the wooden desk, Winter calls to you. "Get over here and fuck me, baby. Fill my tight little pussy with your big cock and breed me." She shakes her ass, her pussy glistens with her sweet nectar, and it draws you in. You rub your cock against her folds basking in the sensation. Winter whines, "Don't tease me." You place your cock at her entrance and then slam your cock into her. "Oh Fuck!" You hold onto Winter's hips and bring her back as you move forward. Winter's mouth is agape against the desk, drooling. "Fuck me harder. Oh, fuck! I love your cock; I fucking love it!" She cries out as you use her for your pleasure. Gone was the image of a businesswoman, and in was the sex toy. Winter's pussy was stretched by your cock; you felt her walls be split apart with every thrust.

"Fuck, you're so tight, Winter." You moan as you continue thrusting. You give her ass a few spanks as you continue. Her ass jiggles from the strike, and you hear Winter's moans get louder. You deliver another hard strike, and Winter's ass starts to change colors to a rosy red. You slow down for a moment to enjoy the feeling of Winter's pussy clamped down on your cock. "I'm going to shape your pussy just for my cock, Winter."

"Do it, baby, make my pussy yours," she says with a smile. You grab her hips and start thrusting again, moving at a quick pace. Winter's entire body shakes. "Fuck! Fuck me, baby!" She moaned as her body was being split in two. Both of you start to feel your orgasm build. As your cock throbs in Winter and you tell her, she screams to cum in her. "Do it! Pour your cum inside my womb! Put a baby in me!" Impaling Winter with your last thrust, you paint her walls with a thick layer of cum. You're breathing heavily as you pull out, and your cum almost immediately starts to flow out of her onto the floor.

"So, how was I?"

Winter slowly raises her head. "You're perfect. We'll work very well together." She says with a wink; she staggers to her panties and puts them on. "Can't have your cum leaking out," she says in a shaky voice. While you help Winter into the rest of her clothes and fix her hair, you have a small conversation. "You're just what I was looking for."

"Really?"

"Yeah, when I came here, I was hoping I'd have a boss that could fuck me like I'm a slut. That didn't work out. Our boss is a scary woman; she stresses me out. I can't be with her for more than a minute. Lucky for me, I got a little helper for my work."

"Yeah, I guess you did."

"We'll get our work done early so we can spend the rest of the time having sex. I have my condo nearby, so we could always go back to my place afterward and keep the fun going."

"So…about the breeding thing."

Winter laughs, "Don't worry, I'm on birth control." She gets close to your ear as she buttons up your shirt. Whispering, "But if it turns you on more, I'll stop taking them. I wouldn't mind being bred by a stallion like you." She finishes with the last button and says she'll come back to clean the mess. "Let's go; our time is nearly over." Walking back through the main office, people are still going around doing their business. "Oh yeah, I might've alluded to it, but my office is completely soundproof. No one outside is going to hear us." As you enter the interview room again, you see the two interviewers waiting. "I apologize for being late; I was amazed by how quickly he became accustomed to my work. He's definitely the one for the position."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, I'd like him to start tomorrow if possible."

"Well, what do you think? Are you available to start tomorrow?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well then, welcome aboard."

Winter shook your hand, "I trust we'll get along very well."

#winter smut #aespa smut #kpop smut #m reader #male reader

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korpikorppi · 2 years ago

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The Untamed costumes extra:

Waist ornaments

We all know the beautiful, tasseled ornaments the Twin Jades wear hanging from their belts:

So, I thought an extra costume post looking at these and other waist ornaments seen in the Untamed might be called for.

Various kinds of waist ornaments, yaopei, have tradionally been worn with hanfu. The long tasseled jade waist pendants often seen in historical c-drama (and in the Untamed), are the type of yaopei called jinbu that were originally worn to hold down the hanfu skirts; @ziseviolet who runs an amazing blog on hanfu has this excellent post that provides more information.

So, in addition to the esteemed Lan brothers, who else wears a jinbu in the Untamed? Let's start with... him.

Jin Guangshan is wearing what to me looks like the most traditional style of jinbu among those seen in the Untamed. It comprises a carved nefrite jade (hetian jade?) piece that looks like it might be a variation of double dragon head huang (the lower picture is a piece from Han Dynasty era, shamelessly stolen from the net). From the jade are hanging three pendants of various yellow gemstones, perhaps yellow topaz and amber?, each adorned with a golden yellow tassel.

And we have more Jins wearing jinbu. No, not Jin Zixuan, who actually dresses rather modestly to be called a Peacock, but his half-brother.

Chief Cultivator Jin Guangyao wears not one but two identical waist ornaments hanging from his jade-decorated belt. The pieces comprise tassels of the same yellow as Jin Guangshan's, and beads of silver and various gemstones in red (ruby or garnet?), yellow (topaz?) and dark gray (that's a tough one... translucent black jade?), but I have not managed to find a good close-up shot of them. Do you know how many in-focus below-the-waist close-ups the are in the Untamed? Not bloody nearly many enough! Also, a little side note here! I have been watching the Monarch Industry / Rebel Princess, and just noticed that Emperor Ma Zitan wears rather similar double waist ornaments with one of his outfits. So this is probably a specific style of jinbu?

And we have Jin Ling, who wears the Jiang Clarity Bell hanging from his waist (the only one seen to wear it thus in the Untamed).

Jin Ling's waist ornament is quite interesting, because in addition to the small silver bells (two instead of one) it has two carved Bodhi Root beads (one depicting a lotus bud), a carved lotus pendant in what looks like white nephrite jade, and pale yellow double tassels with silver caps; identical to the ornament Jiang Yanli drops onto a stone, breaking the jade pendant, while waiting for news from Lotus Pier after the Wen attack.

So, do all Jiang Clarity Bells have the same construction? Are they all identical? It doesn't seem to be the case: at least the one Jiang Yanli gives to Wei Wuxian in Yiling before her wedding is different, with a different kind of large lotus bead:

So it seems that the waist ornament Jin Ling wears is the one that belonged to his mother, with the broken jade pendant repaired or, perhaps more likely, carved anew at some point before Jiang Yanli's death. If that is the case, Jin Ling has something from both of his parents: his father's sword and his mother's clarity bell. I do not remember if that was mentioned to be the case in the novel?

Talking about Jiang Yanli, she is the only woman in the Untamed seen wearing a jinbu. This takes place during the Phoenix Mountain hunt and when she stays at Jinlintai afterwards, and both her outfit and the jinbu are clearly Jin in style.

The jinbu comprises various silver beads together with a red, a yellow and a dark grey gemstone bead (similar combination as later worn by Jin Guangyao) and what seems to be a flower of some kind (not a peony, though), also in silver. And the Jin-yellow tassel.

Let's get back to the jinbu that the esteemed Lan brothers wear, which are quite distinctive. In addition to the two jade rings, they have some additional beads in silver and gemstones, and a long tassel.

The jade rings in Lan Wangji's jinbu are, I think, the finest white mutton fat hetian nephrite. Zooming in on the left image, it seems that the rings are not smooth, but might actually have carvings on them. If that is the case I'm guessing it could be a cloud motif of some kind, perhaps something similar as on the jade rings in the bottom image (again, found in the net). The additional gemstones seem to be either blue or colourless, perhaps topaz and aquamarine. The tassel is grey, similar to the tassel on Bichen.

Lan Xichen's jinbu has jade rings of what seems like translucent moss-in-snow type of jadeite, similar to the bangle in the bottom right image. Similar to Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen has additional silver as well as blue and clear gemstone beads in his jinbu, including a rather large blue stone above his tassel. It also seems there is a reddish bead, close to the top (seen in the uppermost image). Lan Xichen's tassel is very dark blue, nearly black, a similar shade as also found in Shuoyue's and Liebing's tassels.

In addition to the Twin Jades, Lan Qiren also wears a jinbu, but his is somewhat different from those worn by his nephews: instead of the distinctive two jade rings, Lan Qiren's jinbu has a large, flat medallion of white, carved nephrite jade and a decorative chinese knot. Unfortunately, I was not able to find any clear close-up shots of either one, so I'm not able to say anything more precise about them... If I come across any later, I'll update this.

The additional beads in the Grandmaster's jinbu are quite small, and seem to be rather dark (blue?) in colour, but it is quite impossible to see what stone they might be made of (lapis lazuli might be one option). The tassel of his jinbu is also grey, or perhaps bluish grey.

To end this, I should perhaps point out that even if I've made the assumption that the additional beads would be gemstones, I've understood glass beads were also traditionally used, so coloured glass might also be a feasible option, also in-universe.

But what would I give for a few clear closeups!

#the untamed costumes #waist ornaments #jinbu #theuntameddaily #the twin jades #lan wangji #lan xichen #jin guangshan #jin guangyao #jin ling #jiang yanli #jiang clarity bell #lan giren #long post #guzhuang #mine

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hauntinggviolet · 2 months ago

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A month late but,

My Violet Harmon exact collection after a year!!

All are screen accurate unless stated otherwise :) + duplicates im selling below (all the way down If you're interested and haven't seen my lists, i forgot to picture two!) i dont have some bc theyre easier to get so im waiting :)

Sorry for the terrible quality/lighting :(

Left to right: APC Madras + Madras top [Orange], Lost In the Forest pullover [faded rose], I love h81 flannel, Splendid blouse, Wallpapher vest [alt gray], Kimchi blue wildflower dress [alt black], Trapeze slip.

Trouve dolman sleeve top, Crafty cuff thermal, Floral lace henleys, FP lace Fit and flare dress, Gypsy rose cardigan [NWT!!], Eloise webbed top.

Spending time pullover, See by chloé sweater, Moulinette soeurs dress, F21 chevron cardigan, All over lace pullover [alt white, dyed purple, then partially removed], Staring at stars hanky hem gauze slips [alt white, One dyed navy].

1. Gap Floral fit and flare dress, Openwork floral tights, Newsboy cap [Not sure if this is screen accurate, harmonaesthetic "identified" this, if not, still a good dupe, but i might sell], Fringe suede convertible bag, Chocolate brown converse.

2. Scandalous lace top, Animal print tank, Striped waterfall cardigan, Cabin in the woods skirt.

Selling/duplicates [I DID NOT BUY THESE TO RESELL, DON'T KILL ME, EXACTS POLICE] Trapeze [Duplicate, NFS], Floral lace henleys [M (SOLD), L], Crafty cuff thermals [White, M. Pink, S, Mocha NFS atm], Lost in the forest [faded rose, L],(SOLD) Spending time pullover [L]. See by Chloé [US 6]

I used to have the gypsy rose in white and banana republic cardigan in gray, i might rebuy those whenever i get the rest im missing!

#violetharmon #violet harmon #violet harmon exacts #violet ahs #ahs murder house #americanhorrorstory #ahs #murder house #violet harmon aesthetic #violet harmon clothes

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sovonight · 4 months ago

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WE WANT PICS OF THE FABRICS PLEASEEE

here they are ^^

i ended up getting 5 total that day, it was pretty heavy to walk back with haha

the blue floral cotton fabric was going to become a skirt, but now i think it won't drape well enough for the skirt design i had in mind so i'm rethinking what to use it for

the black fabric is sheer with gold embroidery and holo sequins, and i'm thinking of either turning it into a sheer overlay skirt, or finding another fabric to go under it and layering them for a regular skirt

the yellow/gold is a cotton/poly blend that's turning into a radri shirt, and while i got 5 yards to have more than i need i'm now worried i might not have any significant scraps left over >_< we'll see

the green fabric is a lightweight linen that i'm turning into kind of a loose gathered shirt/dress that i might just wear as pajamas, idk. this one i got because i loved how it felt to touch

the gray fabric is a midweight (?) linen that i'm thinking of using for a corset and/or a dress of some sort, idk yet. i was really into the color when i was there in the store bc it looked like such a soft dusky lavender, but when taken out into the light it just reads as plain grey, so tbh i have regrets about this one T_T it was just ~$8 USD/yard though so i can't be too sad about it

i also got some fabric squares at the dollar store (above) and some fancy ribbons (below)

the dollar store fabrics i got mainly for ita bag/merch display purposes. i have a lot of keychains but nowhere great to put them (i don't like putting them on my keys bc they add bulk, and i don't like having them on my bag bc they make noise--i really just like keychains to look at them) so i might cover a board in fabric and display my keychains there

the ribbons were kinda expensive, like twice the price per yard of any fabric i bought there. but i feel like they were probably comparable to usa prices, so i don't think it was a loss 🤷 just maybe not a killer deal lol

some of the ribbons kind of match up with the fabrics i got, but the only ones i'm really considering using together at this point are the sheer black + black/purple/gold ribbon. the other ribbons i'm just going to keep in my sewing box until i find the perfect application for them

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xdarkestdesirex · 4 months ago

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Calamity - Hide x f.Reader

Volume One

Calamity (n.) a great misfortune or disaster

You think you're just like every other 18-year-old girl: just starting college, living alone, and working at a cute cafe, except you aren't because you're a ghoul. Trying your best to blend into a world that isn't your own, and then you meet him. Hide. He's unlike anyone you've ever met, and you slowly fall for him. But will it ever work between the two of you? He's human, and you're not.

This is a Hide x female reader, and this fanfiction story will be based STRICTLY on the mangas, including the novels.

The plot of Tokyo Ghoul and the characters are not mine. They all belong to Sui Ishida.

I don't allow anyone to copy my story, publish it on other platforms, or alter it as your own.

This writing contains highly sensitive topics like violence, gore, mental illness, talk of suicide, death, smut, and other mature themes. Reader discretion is advised.

word count 10877

“Humans are thought to be at the top of the food chain… But some beings hunt them as food. These monsters feed on the dead flesh of humans. They are called…

Ghouls.”

-Tokyo Ghoul Volume 1 #001 Tragedy by Sui Ishida

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The sound of the TV lofted through the brightly lit cafe. A news channel was showing an interview with a man named Hisashi Ogura, a ghoul researcher, explaining what ghouls are and how they act. I stood behind the coffee bar, dressed in my work uniform, which consisted of a cream blouse with a gray vest layered on top and a brown tie wrapped neatly under the collar and tucked below the vest. A brown skirt with two pleats in the front that hit my mid-thighs, shear tights covered my legs, and a pair of platform leather loafers adorned my feet. I blocked out the sound of the male voice coming from the screen on the wall and stared at two customers sitting at a table across from me. I noticed the one with dark black hair from his frequent visits to the cafe, but the friend across from him was someone I barely saw. He had short, dirty blonde hair with dark roots and gleamed as a smile crossed his face. The other boy’s cheeks turned dark pink, and I couldn’t help but wonder what the blonde was teasing his friend about when suddenly, the vibrant boy shot out of his seat and yelled out to Touka.

“Hey! Can you take our order?!” His giant smile grew, and he looked down at his friend and gave him a little shove.

“Sorry, (Y/n), can you take this?” The plum-haired girl turned towards me and walked away from the beaming boy. I sweat-dropped at the explicit rejection of my co-worker to deal with these boys and then made eye contact with the blonde. He sent me a small smile and a faint blush crept up on my cheeks. From the few other times he made a brief appearance in the cafe, I couldn’t help but be drawn to his bubbly, adorable appearance. I walked out from behind the counter, gripping my notepad, and sent them the best customer service smile I could muster.

“I apologize for my co-worker,” I bowed, “What can I get for you?”

“I’ll have a cappuccino!” The bright boy turned to his friend, “What about you?”

“Oh, uh, I’m okay, thank you.” The dark-haired boy shyly spoke. He was always the quiet type when he came in.

“One cappuccino coming up!” I said, turning around to walk away, but someone grabbed my hand and stopped me. I looked to see who caught me, and it was the boy I admired from the coffee bar.

“Can I ask a question?” He looked up at me with beautiful olive eyes and a silly smirk.

“Of course,” I replied. My heart was beating quickly in my chest.

“What is that girl’s name?” He pointed over towards Touka. My face dropped, and I felt a strange knot in my throat. I don’t know this guy, but it’s still a hit to your ego when someone you’ve been silently crushing on asks about another girl. “I think she might be the girl my friend has a crush on.” He gestured to the boy next to him. Oh, that makes sense. I guess I worried for nothing.

“Her name is Touka.” I directed the answer to the dark-haired boy, “She’s lovely once you get to know her!” Touka would kill me if she heard me talking about her to a boy.

“O-oh, no, s-sorry!” The poor boy looked like he would burst from embarrassment, “My friend is mistaken! She’s not the girl I have a crush on! Though she is cute.” He trailed off and said the last part quietly, but I could still pick it up. Heh, he thinks she’s cute. I’m so going to tease her about this.

“WHAT?” The blonde looked taken aback, “I swear I was spot on with my guess.” He turned back to you, “Sorry about that!”

“It’s okay,” I said, chuckling. Finally, I broke free from the boys and returned behind the bar.

I grabbed a bag of espresso roast coffee beans and poured a small amount into our espresso grinder. It sputtered to life and poured the coffee grounds into the portafilter. Once it was filled, I pressed the coffee grounds down, compacting them into the portafilter, making sure not to pact them down too much. I placed the portafilter onto the espresso machine, put one of our mugs below it, and started it up. Slowly, the deep brown drops of coffee began to fill the cup, and the smell of brewing beans wafted through my nose. I inhaled the bitter scent and felt my body relax instantly. Coffee is the only thing I can relate to with humans, and the smell of it has always calmed my nerves. While the espresso was pouring into the mug, I grabbed a jug of whole milk from the fridge, poured it into a cup, and then placed it under the steam wand. Once I steamed the milk, I poured it over the espresso, topped it with foam, and drizzled a heart on top with caramel.

I brought the cup over to the blonde boy and sat the cup in front of him. Once he looked down at the mug, his hands shot up to his face, and he cooed, “Awww, you put a heart on it!” Instantly, my face turned a bright red, and I cursed myself for putting a heart. I was too proud of my coffee art to think about the embarrassment I would feel after bringing it over to him. He turned towards me, “What’s your name!”

“Oh, uh, I-I’m (L/n) (Y/n),” I bowed, “Nice to meet you.” I mentally facepalmed myself at being so proper.

“I’m Hideyoshi Nagachika, but you can call me Hide!” He reached out and grabbed my hands. “Do you have a boyfriend?!” WHAT? Did he just ask me that? I think I’m going to faint.

“N-n-n-no,” I stuttered out. I could feel the palms of my hands getting sweaty, and I only hoped he wouldn’t feel it, either. My whole body was on fire, and I could feel the eyes of other customers looking at us. Did he have to be so loud while being this direct?

“Could I possibly-”

“(Y/n)!” Touka called me, interrupting the blonde boy, “What are you doing?”

“A-ah! I have to get back to work!” I pulled my hands away from the blonde, ran over to Touka, and lowered my head in shame for getting distracted while working. Touka may be younger than me, but she can be scary. As I got back to work, I could hear the dark-haired male scold his friend for being obnoxious, and the words that fell out of the vibrant boy’s lips shocked me, “She’s cute.”

Touka stared at me angrily when the door opened, looking like she was also about to scold me. I took this moment to greet the customer and saw Rize walking through the doors. It made me uneasy whenever she came in, but I knew I could do nothing about it. She was a binge eater, and just thinking about the things she does to people makes me sick. But I still greeted her the way I do with every customer.

A few minutes passed, and I was back to standing behind the counter, cleaning up things lying around. I decided it wouldn’t be wise to go back to staring at the dirty blonde boy after our encounter, and I did my best to distract myself. The sound of a chair squeaking made my eyes snap, and I saw the bubbly boy leave his chair. “Good luck, dreamer boy!” He waved to his friend, sporting a bright smile, then turned slightly to look at me and yelled, “See you later, (Y/n)!” And then he walked out the door.

I patted my hot cheeks, trying to calm them down, and Touka stared at me for a second before rolling her eyes. “Seriously?” She leaned closer and whispered, “He’s a human.” Then, she walked away from me. Yes, he’s a human, and I’m a ghoul. There’s no way we could ever be together, but a crush has never hurt anyone.

——————————

These past few days, I couldn’t help but worry about Hide’s dark-haired friend, whose name I found out is Kaneki. Once the blonde boy left the cafe, I saw Kaneki interact with Rize and overheard their plan to go out on a date. It was coming up tomorrow, and I struggled to find a way to warn the poor boy. Just from looking at him, I could tell he was pretty weak, and he wouldn’t stand a chance against Rize. If he were at least a bit strong, maybe he would have the opportunity to defend himself, but even then, he probably would still fail. She’s a strong ghoul, and nothing gets in her way of feeding. There wasn’t anything I could do about it either unless I wanted to expose myself or Anteiku, and I would never do that.

My best course of action would be to follow them. I knew where they were meeting and what time, so I could just lurk in the shadows and ensure Rize didn’t do anything to Kaneki. It was settled then. Tomorrow, I will watch them.

Morning came, and I got ready for my day of spying. I wore a pair of black jeans and a band T-shirt with a pair of black Converse. I threw my (h/c) hair into a bun and tossed a black zip-up hoodie and a pair of sunglasses into my bag. Was I being too obvious? Most likely, but oh well. I didn’t want to stand out; I could blend into the darkness if they hung out at night. Before leaving my room, I grabbed the book on my coffee table and shoved it into my bag. I needed something to hide behind, just in case.

I arrived at the restaurant they were meeting at a bit after the time they stated to make sure I wouldn’t be seen by the two. When I entered, I got the waiter to seat me in a corner behind Rize’s back so she couldn’t see me. As I watched them talk, they seemed to be having a good time, and I could see the faint dusting of blush on the boy’s cheeks occasionally. Rize was a master disguiser when it came to being a ghoul; she knew how to blend in with humans, and it surprised me that she didn’t touch the food on her plate once. I’ve seen her pretend to eat before, so was she avoiding it right now because she didn’t want to spoil her appetite for later? I still wasn’t sure what I would do if she attacked him. I’m too weak to fight against a ghoul of her strength, and I couldn’t risk him knowing about me either. Maybe I could run into them? Tell her we had an important topic to discuss with her right away.

After following them around for the day, everything seemed okay. Maybe she wouldn’t hurt him today, and I can warn Mr. Yoshimura about her plans. It was nighttime, and the only things lighting the streets were a few lamp posts. I threw my hoodie on not too long ago and slowly watched them as they came to a stop. It was time to part ways, but Rize made up some excuse of being scared to get Kaneki to walk her home. Shit. She’s going to kill him. I was about to dart out of my hiding spot when I saw a group of girls walking in my direction. I noticed one of them as Touka and panicked, so I threw myself back into the hiding spot and watched as they slowly walked by. At this point, the couple I was stalking, for lack of better words, had disappeared. Once the high school girls were out of sight, I ran towards the alley I saw Rize and Kaneki walk down. Before I could even enter it, a loud bang rang through the area as steel beams came crashing to the ground. I fell backward and covered my face as the debris flung towards me.

This isn’t good. I quickly picked myself off the ground and ran towards the beams to see if the poor dark-haired boy was trapped in the destruction. It didn’t take long to see him poking out from under a beam, crushing him into the ground, and a puddle of blood surrounding him. Fear coursed through my veins, and I could feel the change in my demeanor. My eyes flashed red, and I suddenly felt a pang of hunger. I clutched my stomach and shook my head. Fuck. I did go past my feeding time with how busy I’ve been lately. I can’t let myself lose control now. Not after how hard I’ve worked towards controlling myself. Once I pulled myself together, I grabbed my phone and dialed the police. I couldn’t just leave him here to die.

——————————

After the incident with Kaneki and Rize, I stayed by to ensure the black-haired boy was still alive. I didn’t move him from his spot, scared that if I did, it would be the difference between him dying or not. When the police and ambulance arrived, I gave them my statement and asked to remain anonymous. I know doing that was risky, and I could’ve exposed myself by staying there. Thankfully, they didn’t prod me too much with questions but told me what hospital Kaneki was being transported to, which brought me to where I am now—standing in front of that hospital and questioning why I was even here. I wanted to check in on the poor boy and ensure he was doing okay, but I didn’t want to see him directly.

I took a deep breath and walked through the hospital doors to the front desk. A lady sat behind the counter and looked up at me impatiently, “How can I help you?” Her voice was monotonous. You would think they’d hire bubbly people to work the front desk at a hospital. This place is already depressing, and people like this lady don’t help the atmosphere.

“I just wanted to check the condition of one of the patients here,” I said.

“What’s their name?” Her hands were ready to type once I spoke.

“Ken Kaneki.” Her fingers started working her magic, but another voice spoke behind me before she could say anything.

“(Y/n)?” It sounded slightly familiar, but not enough for me to know who it was immediately. I turned around to see the bright, blonde-haired boy.

“H-Hide!” I should’ve expected him to come and check in on his friend.

“You’re here to check on Kaneki as well?” Looking at me puzzled, he scratched his head, “I didn’t know you guys were close.”

“Are you also a friend of the boy?” The lady behind the counter interrupted our conversation.

“Yes, I am.” The blonde boy's face settled into a straight line, a more serious look, away from the bright smile he usually wore when I saw him at the cafe.

“Then I’ll tell the both of you so I don’t have to repeat myself. Kaneki is in stable condition and doing well, but he’s asked for no visitors.”

I glanced over at Hide, and his eyebrows scrunched down. He looked disappointed and sad. I’m sure he wanted to see with his own eyes that his friend was okay.

“Thank you, ma’am,” I turned to face the boy beside me, “Can we talk?” He nodded his head.

He followed me out of the hospital, and we walked side by side in silence. I wasn’t sure where to start. I knew I couldn’t tell him that I stalked them cause I knew Rize was a ghoul, but I could at least explain that I just happened to be passing by when the steel beams fell. I’m sure he’s suspicious of me, and I wanted to clear my name.

“I know of a cafe we can go to if you’d like. I’ll pay.” I spoke.

“Is it Anteiku?” He lightly joked.

A small chuckle fell from my lips, and I shook my head, “No, there’s one right down the road that’s pretty good.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

The blonde boy seemed deep in thought as we headed towards the cafe, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty for his somber appearance. If I had stopped their date beforehand or pulled Rize away from Kaneki, then Hide’s friend wouldn’t be in the position he’s in, or if I had been strong enough to fight her. I gripped my fist tightly and cursed myself for being weak. Yes, I called the police, but I could’ve prevented him from ever getting hurt.

We made it to the cafe and were seated at a small table facing the window. I ordered an iced americano (something I could drink) and some avocado toast. I couldn’t eat the toast, but I’m good at pretending to enjoy food. I watch many videos on YouTube of people going out to eat, and I like to stay on top of food trends for people my age. Hide ordered a cappuccino and a piece of cake. Once our food and drinks arrived, I picked up the toast with my hands, bit right into it, swallowed it whole, and pretended to chew. Then, I sipped my coffee to wash away any foul-tasting food I ingested.

“So, why were you at the hospital to see Kaneki?” Hide questioned.

I sat down my food and dabbed my face with a napkin before responding, “I was there at the incident.” I decided to get straight into it.

“Wait, what?!” I guess what I said was the last thing he expected, given how his mouth hung open in shock.

“I don’t live too far from the area where it happened,” Which is the truth since I live at Anteiku and it wasn’t very far from the incident, “I was out for a late night walk cause I was feeling a bit stressed when suddenly these steel beams came crashing to the ground. I wasn’t close enough to be caught up under them, but the whole thing scared me. Then I remembered seeing two people walk towards where they had fallen, and I needed to make sure they were okay. So I started looking around. It wasn’t long before,” I paused for a second to take a deep breath. It wasn’t like I wasn’t used to seeing people in the state Kaneki was in when I found him. I've seen worse, but the negative thoughts from earlier came crashing back. A pair of solid hands lightly gripped mine, and I looked up to see the vibrant boy looking at me worriedly.

“It’s okay (Y/n), you don’t-”

“No, I have to tell you,” I cut the boy off and squeezed his hand in mine, “I saw Kaneki lying there. I recognized him from Anteiku and h-he- there was a lot of blood. I was sure he was dead, but when I checked for a pulse, I felt something faint. So I called the police immediately but didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t see the other person he was with, so I just sat there and stayed with him till help arrived.”

Hide rubbed his hands over his face, “I-I’m so sorry you had to witness what you did,” He looked up at me with tears threatening to spill from his eyes, “But I’m so thankful you were there to be with him and call for help.” His voice broke, “My best friend could be dead right now if it weren’t for you, so thank you.”

Having Hide thank me made all my emotions surface, and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I dropped my head into my hands to cover myself from the gaze of onlookers. Then I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me into a hug. I nuzzled my face into the bright jacket of the dirty blonde boy, and he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. We both sat there crying while embracing each other. It felt good to have him be grateful to me, but I still felt guilty and don’t think that’ll ever go away. Hide offered to walk me home when we left the cafe, and I accepted it. We didn’t talk much during the walk, but the silence was comfortable. It was nice to have the company, at least. He tried to crack a few jokes to lighten the mood, and he succeeded with it. I couldn’t help but giggle whenever he said something funny.

Once we arrived at Anteiku, Hide cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. “I thought I was taking you home.”

“This is home,” I smiled at the boy, “I live in an apartment above the cafe. That’s how I started working here!”

“Oh wow! I didn’t realize people lived up there.”

“There are a few of us who live up there. Thankfully, there are only a few apartments, so I have fewer neighbors.” The blonde boy chuckled at my statement, “I guess this is where we part ways.” I whispered.

“I guess so,” Hide smiled slightly.

“Thank you for walking me back,” I said, walking up the steps to the door.

‘Wait!’ he yelled out. I stopped to face him once again. He rushed up the steps and got close to me. A fit of heat crept up my face from the sudden closeness. “Could I get your number?”

“U-um, sure.” If my face hadn’t been red, it would be red now. I reached into my back pocket, pulled out my phone, and handed it to him. He gave me his, and we swapped numbers.

“Thank you again, (Y/n), for looking after Kaneki.” He said one last time before leaving. I pressed my back against the wall and slid down once he was out of sight. I can’t believe that just happened.

——————————

It had been another steady day at the cafe, and I didn’t have any classes today, so I worked an entire shift from opening till 4 pm. Like always, I stood at the counter, waiting for Touka to return from school so she could swap me out. These past few days have been emotional and tiring, not to mention how I had to come clean and tell Mr. Yoshimura everything that happened with Kaneki and Rize. We spent the past few days reviewing the event in detail and ensuring nothing leads back to Anteiku. I felt terrible for putting our group in danger by exposing myself as a witness to the police and other ghouls by being there when Rize got killed. We had concluded that what happened most likely wasn’t an accident since so many people were after her. Meaning we must be extra careful and lay low for a while.

There have also been rumors floating around that the doctor who performed surgery on Kaneki used Rize’s organs as a transplant to save him. Mr. Yoshimura seemed concerned about this and asked us to watch for him. He feels like it could affect him in a way that we wouldn’t be able to comprehend. So I’ve been lost in thought over everything that’s happened, and my guilt has only grown. Mr. Yoshimura was kind and told me he was proud of me for saving the boy, and even though what I did was a considerable risk, I made the right choice. Even Yomo brought me coffee and an extra meal to spoil and make me feel better.

A small smile spreads on my face after I think of how Yomo cares for me. We’re not family by blood, but he took me under his wing when I was little. I was around 7, and he was only 23. Why did he look after me like I was his own at such a young age? I couldn’t understand, but he’s been like a father to me all these years. Being here at Anteiku has been a blessing; the people here are all my family. Without everyone’s help, there’s no way I would survive in this world. Many ghouls would struggle without the kindness of Anteiku and Mr. Yoshimura.

Suddenly, the door was thrown open, and an angry, disheveled Touka came storming through. Many customers glanced at her; some knew why she looked the way she did, while others looked at her with judging eyes.

“Hey, Koma, can you watch the counter while I check in on Touka?” I asked the male on shift.

“Of course, (Y/n)!” He smiled at me.

I quickly wandered back and headed up the stairs to Touka’s room. Knowing she would tell me to go away, I didn’t even bother knocking, so I just barged straight into her room. She whipped around quickly, looking at me with her signature annoyed look.

“Ugh, how often do I tell you to knock.” She said.

“What happened?” I asked as I sat down in her chair by the desk in her room.

“Why do you think something happened?” She huffed back.

“Because I’ve known you for a while, Touka, and you don’t try to hide it when something pisses you off.”

“Fine, an asshole was trying to push himself onto me on my way here from school, and then another asshole showed up. He was a ghoul as well, so I killed the old fuck trying to grope me, and I offered some of him to the other guy cause he seemed hungry. Then I noticed only one of his eyes was red, and he looked a lot like the guy Rize took on a date. I tried to get him to eat, and he refused. He looked at me with disgust before running away.”

I just sat there in shock over the fact that she told me all that so easily; I didn’t have to pry it out of her, and holy fuck… Kaneki is a ghoul now?!

“Touka, I’m so sorry some slimy bastard was pushing himself on you. I disagree with killing people, but he had it coming.” I paused momentarily, “As for the boy who looked like Rize’s date, you need to tell Mr. Yoshimura about him.”

“Why?” The plum-haired girl became defensive.

“He might need help.”

“He’ll be fine. If I had to figure out my way in this shitty world alone, he can too.” The young girl crossed her arms and glared at me.

“Touka, please just go talk to Mr. Yoshimura,” I begged the girl.

“I make no promises,” she said, walking towards her door and gesturing, “Now please leave so I can get dressed.”

I sighed and left the room, knowing there wasn’t much I could do. I’ll tell Mr. Yoshimura myself if Touka doesn’t talk to him by the night’s end. I returned to the cafe and let Koma know she was okay. Only a few minutes had passed before she made her way behind the counter, and I was finally free to go to my room. Walking down the hallway, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed a number I had yet to message. The phone rang a few times before a deep voice answered on the other end.

“Hey (Y/n)! This is a surprise.” His voice came through the speaker and whispered into my ear. Even talking on the phone made my cheeks heat up slightly.

“Hide, is this a bad time?” Before I asked the real question, I wanted to ensure he wasn’t busy.

“Nope! I just left class and am heading to a meeting for this school festival. We can talk while I walk!”

“I just wanted to check in and see how Kaneki was doing. Have you seen him lately?” I’m unsure if Hide knows he’s out of the hospital yet, so I have to see what he knows about Kaneki.

“Oh, yeah, he got discharged from the hospital a few days ago, and I took him out to eat as a celebration.” His voice didn’t sound as enthusiastic as before.

“That’s good. I’m glad to hear Kaneki is doing okay. How’s he doing… mentally?” I hesitated to say that last word. Dealing with trauma can be rough, but if he’s turned into a ghoul, then he must be going through something even worse.

“He did seem kind of out of it the whole time we were out, and he looked pretty pale. He couldn’t keep down any of the food he ate. I was worried about him, but he said he’s still healing.” So he couldn’t eat the food at the restaurant. I’ll have to tell Mr. Yoshimura this information and what Touka saw.

“It might take a while for him to feel normal again,” if he can even feel like that after what happened to him. “Thank you for updating me, Hide. I appreciate it.”

Once Hide and I got off the phone, I wandered down the hall to Mr. Yoshimura’s office and knocked on the door. I waited for his okay before I entered and sat in front of his large oak desk.

“What can I do for you (Y/n)?” He propped his hands on the desk and gave me his undivided attention.

“It’s about Kaneki. I told Touka to talk to you, but I don’t think it can wait.” He looked at me with deep, squinted eyes. “She saw him not too long ago and noticed one of his eyes was red. He looked hungry but refused the meat that Touka tried to give him.”

“So he’s part ghoul and refusing to eat.” The old man paused before continuing, “We need to contact him before the hunger consumes him.”

I agreed with Mr. Yoshimura, and we sat together and discussed ways to approach the dark-haired boy without scaring him off. We wanted to help him with this new way of life and teach him what it means to be a ghoul—if he’d let us, and maybe he could help us understand humans better. I begrudgingly told him about my encounter with Hide at the hospital and how we swapped numbers. I hoped to keep this secret, fearing Mr. Yoshimura would forbid me from talking to the vibrant boy. He didn’t fully agree with me talking to the human, but he didn’t say I wasn’t allowed to. Which I was silently thankful for.

We devised a plan for me to ask Hide for Kaneki’s number so I could personally check in with the shy boy. I would then message Kaneki, telling him I was the person who called the police during his incident and that I would like to meet up with him. From there, I would ask him to meet me at Anteiku and invite him upstairs, where I would lead him to Mr. Yoshimura’s office. We would then explain that we understand his situation and would like to offer him help. I wasn’t sure if this would work, but trying didn’t hurt. At least we would know that we reached out and tried even if he refused us.

Together, Mr. Yoshimura and I made our way down to the cafe. We wanted to gather everyone and meet about our possible new friend. Since it was the end of the day, the cafe should be locked up, and all the customers are gone. The only people left should be the other workers like Touka and Koma, and soon, Yomo would be returning from his patrol of the area. When we reached the cafe, the only person we could see was Koma mopping the floors. He told us Touka was outside taking out the trash. As we got close to the door, we could hear Touka’s loud and clear voice. She was yelling at someone, and she sounded agitated. The last thing I heard before Mr. Yoshimura opened the door was Touka saying, “You can die for all I care.”

Once the door was flung open, I saw the dark-haired boy kneeling on the ground. He had a green hoodie on with the hood pulled over his head. Tears were streaming down his face, and his left eye was red. He looked terrified, and my heart clenched as I stared at the poor boy. I couldn’t even imagine what he was going through. His world has turned upside down, and I could have prevented it.

“Touka,” Mr. Yoshimura’s voice cut through the tension. Kaneki looked up at the older man, and his eyes fell on me in the background. Without realizing it, I shrunk behind Mr. Yoshimura, trying to hide from the boy’s gaze. “It must have been rough,” The old man shifted his body and opened the door wider to invite Kaneki inside. As he walked past me, I kept my gaze on the floor. I didn’t realize how shameful I would feel for him to find out I was a ghoul. If he knew about my involvement when the beams fell on him from Hide, then I wouldn’t be surprised if he blamed me for what happened to him as well.

Touka argued with Mr. Yoshimura about letting the poor boy into Anteiku, but the older man shut her up by saying ghouls help each other. The plum-haired girl and I followed quietly behind the two men as Mr. Yoshimura led us to the secret refrigerator where we kept human meat for ghouls who couldn’t hunt independently. The grey-haired man grabbed a wrapped pack of fresh meat and handed it to the troubled boy. Kaneki hesitantly grabbed the package and stared at the raw human meat in his hands. His dilemma of what he would do with it was evident in his eyes, and I could relate to his feelings. There was a point in my life where I refused to kill another human so that I could survive. It drove me insane to the point where the hunger devoured me. I no longer knew who I was, and my sense of humanity disappeared.

I went on a binging spree, and the amount of blood I spilled that day was enough to last a lifetime. Yomo found me in hysterics and had to knock me out so I could calm down. When I awoke, I was in Mr. Yoshimura’s office, and he offered to help me. He told me that I would never have to worry about hurting another person. I was initially hesitant when they started to give me my meals, and it took a lot for me to finally give in and eat again. Ever since that moment, I haven’t killed another human.

“Please come back when you need more,” Mr. Yoshimura smiled at the boy. Kaneki thanked us for helping him and left quickly.

“I-I’m going to head to my room,” I said farewell, leaving Touka to glare at the older gentleman in the hallway. She was pissed, I could tell, but I wasn’t in the headspace to stay and explain what happened along with Mr. Yoshimura. He didn’t need me to help anyway. That old man always knew the right things to say.

The sun had finally set for the night, and I was starting to feel agitated in my room. Since Kaneki came by the cafe, I’ve been throwing a pity party for myself, and I needed to stop. I decided some fresh air would do me good and headed out of the cafe for a walk. I was dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, with the hood pulled over my head and a pair of headphones shoved into my ears. Loud music blasted into my eardrums, and the cool night air nipped at my nose. My feet took me down the alleyway near Anteiku, where ghouls usually hunted at night, but I stayed clear of the feeding corners.

Being a ghoul, you knew whose turf was whose, and if you got caught wandering around an area you weren’t allowed in, a fight would break out. I’ve been in this area long enough to know which alleyways I could walk down peacefully and which I should avoid. The area my feet decided to take me was Rize’s old hunting grounds. With her being gone, I knew this area should be desolate. No ghoul lurking in the shadows scared that Rize might rip their heads off for being in her area, and no humans due to the high number of ghoul killings in this section. But my peace was interrupted the further I walked into the maze-like alley.

I stumbled across a ghoul named Nishiki Nishio holding someone against the wall while he ranted about having his territory disturbed. Gah. This prick. I’ve never liked him since we briefly met a few years ago, and if I ran into him, I would do my best to ignore him. I felt terrible for the hopeless ghoul he was threatening, and then I realized the ghoul he was threatening was none other than Kaneki. I stood there frozen, unsure of what to do, like the date situation all over again. But I’d be damned if I just stood around this time and didn’t interfere, so without thinking, I stepped forward.

“This isn’t your turf, Nishiki. It belongs to Rize.” I used the excuse of this area being Rize’s turf in hopes it would scare him, but when he cocked his head to look at me, all he did was laugh.

“Don’t be so silly, (Y/n). Everyone knows Rize is dead.” His manic eyes stared into mine.

“It doesn’t matter if she’s dead. Anteiku oversees the 20th ward, and if you want a hunting ground, you have to go over it with Mr. Yohsimura.” My voice was stern as I glared daggers back at Nishiki. He let go of Kaneki’s neck, causing the boy to fall to the ground and gasp for air. The tall brunette slowly walked my way, eyes glaring red and hands clenched into fists.

“I can’t stand you guys over at Anteiku. That old shithead pisses me off with his human-loving hippie shit.” He stops a few inches from my face, “This used to be my turf before that binge-eating bitch came into town, and now that she’s dead, it BELONGS TO ME.” He spat. I didn’t want him to see that I was affected by anything he was doing, so I tried to summon my inner Touka and held the meanest RBF possible.

“And I can’t stand pricks like you,” Maybe I summoned her too well because the next thing I knew, the tall brunette was lunging at me. I quickly dodged Nishiki’s attack and unleashed my kagune. My kagune was a koukaku type, otherwise known as the sword kagune, and it was released right below my right shoulder blade and warped into a sword-like figure around my arm. It almost looked like the kind of sword you would see in a fantasy video game, and not to fluff my ego, but my kagune is really pretty.

I stared down the angry male and prepared myself for another attack. He might be more robust than me, but I could severely injure him if I time my move right. As he dashed at me, I used my sword to slash a gaping wound from his right cheek down to his right hip. He yelled in pain and collapsed to the ground. Nishiki quickly pulled his body off the ground, cursing under his breath, and sent one last glare before sprinting in the opposite direction.

I let out a deep, shaky breath and fell to my knees. That was scarier than I thought it would be. I’m not the type of ghoul to get into fights or provoke others. Usually, I stick to myself and avoid others at all costs, and if I find myself in a sticky situation, then I’m getting my ass beat.

“W-what even are ghouls?!” Kanekis voice broke through the silence, “You guys kill humans and your own!”

“Kaneki-”

“YOU’RE SICK!” His yell pierced deep within me, and all the shame I felt my whole life was brought to the surface. He’s right; we’re sick creatures. Tears threatened to spill down my face, but I held them back.

“I-I’m so sorry,” Was all I could choke out. I stayed there on the ground and watched the dark-haired boy scream out in agony. His left eye was beating red, and his veins started protruding through his skin. He was suffering. Not just from the agony of being turned into a ghoul but from the ever-consuming hunger eating away at him. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

His head whipped to look straight at me, and his face contorted into disgust, “I could never eat human flesh!”

“Kaneki, I understand what you’re going through, but if you don’t eat-”

“I’ll never allow myself to become a monster like you! I’m a human being!” Tears flooded down his face, and his hands gripped at his hair, “A-and you, (Y/n), better stay away from Hide. I won’t let you ruin his life like Rize did mine!”

Hide? Did he tell Kaneki about me? Of course, he did. They’re best friends. But Kaneki is right; a monster like me should avoid Hide and all humans. Our worlds don’t mix. I pushed myself off the ground and ran away from the dark-haired boy before he could see the waterfall of tears cascading down my face.

——————————

A loud alarm jolted me from slumber. I rubbed my swollen eyes from a long night of tears, and a deep sigh escaped my lips. I wish I didn’t have to go to school today. The most sleep I got, in total, was around 3 hours. The thoughts swarming my head wouldn’t shut up, and at some point in the night, I let out an anguishing scream. This wasn’t a rare occurrence; unfortunately, I’ve had night terrors most of my life and would wake up screaming. Yomo came rushing in to see the stains of salty tears streaking my cheeks, and he quickly wrapped me in his arms and petted my hair. He whispered that everything was okay and that it was all a bad dream, but this time, everything that had happened was real. The long, white-haired male was able to calm me down and lull me to sleep. Now I’m awake again. If I let every night like this keep me from going to school, I would miss most of my classes, so I dragged my body out of bed.

I quickly washed my face, brushed my teeth, and beat some concealer into my skin to hide my lack of sleep. I decided to wear a cropped, long-sleeve top with thick stripes going across and torn fringes dangling from the bottom, along with oversized mom jeans and a pair of Doc Martins. My school bag was just a plain black crossbody tote, and I slung it over my shoulder, giving myself a once-over in the mirror before leaving my room. As I made my way to the cafe, I quickly stopped by the fridge and grabbed a few bottles of our nitro coffee. I will need all the energy I can get for a full day of classes.

I’m studying art at Kamii University, which thankfully means I only have classes for three days a week, and I get to bend my creative mind—sometimes. It was hard for me to focus on anything the teachers talked about or showed us, and I put little work into the lessons during class. By the end of the day, I slowly walked through the campus, made my way to one of the courtyards, and sat on a bench tucked under a tree. I leaned back, letting my eyes flutter close, and listened to all the noises around me. The chatter of people walking by, the chirp of birds in the trees, and cars off in the distance. Every sound flows together, creating a peaceful cadence. For a moment, the muscles in my body relaxed. I could curl up on the bench and take a much-needed nap.

“(Y/n)?” A deep voice calls out to me. Why, cruel world, must you rip me out of this peaceful moment? I open my eyes to see Hide and Kaneki standing before me. The blonde-haired boy flashed me his signature smile, and the dark-haired boy glared at me from behind his friend. “I didn’t know you went to school here!” His cheerful voice rang through my ears.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” I shifted my gaze to the ground and did my best not to seem interested in the conversation. After what Kaneki said last night, it felt wrong to interact with Hide.

“Kaneki, this is (Y/n), the girl who saved your life!” Hide’s statement made both Kaneki and me flinch.

“Hide, we should probably get going,” Kaneki tried to pull the vibrant boy away.

“Huh?” Hide’s olive eyes stared at his friend briefly and then drifted toward me. “(Y/n) would you like to join us?” He gazed softly at me, causing my heart to race. I’ve never had someone look at me with such gentleness like the way he’s doing right now. My heart fluttered and hurt at the same time. I wanted to accept his offer but had to turn him down. At least we haven’t grown too close to where doing this would be more painful.

“Sorry, Hide, but I should head home,” The sadness was evident in my voice. I stood from the bench and re-slung my bag over my shoulder.

“Did something else happen between you that I don’t know about?” The blonde gestured between Kaneki and me.

“What?” I nervously laughed. “I just have a lot of homework.” He looked at me with a questioning gaze, and I could tell he was developing theories.

“Don’t worry about it,” Hide flashed me a somber smile, “Hopefully, I’ll see you later.” The blonde boy started walking away, but Kaneki, still facing me, looked like he was internally fighting himself.

I approached the black-haired boy and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll stay away from him.”

“(Y/n),” Kaneki’s deep silver eyes trapped me in his presence. They danced across my face, taking in every inch. I felt exposed like he saw all the terrible things I’ve ever done, and I was just waiting for him to spit another crude comment, but people keep surprising me lately.

“She’s coming with us!” Kaneki called out to Hide.

“Hu-What?” My mouth was gaping open and closing like a fish out of water.

Hide turned around to look at me, “Are you sure? You don’t have to join us if you’re busy.”

“No, it’s okay,” I shot Kaneki a thankful glance, “I would love to go with you.”

Hide and I walked alongside one another, and Kaneki trailed slightly behind us. I knew he’d stay back to watch me, so I made sure to be mindful of my actions. I wanted to show Kaneki I wasn’t a nasty ghoul like the few he’d encountered. He doesn’t ever have to worry about me hurting his dear friend.

We walked through the campus, and I must admit this is the first time I’ve been to the dorms. They were just as pretty as the main building, and I fantasized about what it would be like to live in the dorms: making friends, having a roommate, going to parties, and getting to be an ordinary college girl. That would be nice. On our way into one of the dormitories, Hide explained that we were going to an upperclassmen’s room to pick up a DVD from last year’s festival. The blonde boy then told Kaneki and me what setting up for the festival was like. It seemed like a lot of work, but how Hide lit up and talked excitedly made me want to join the committee. Maybe I should look into it anyway? Socializing would do me good, and I would spend more time with Hide.

We made our way in front of a door, and the vibrant boy exclaimed that we had finally arrived and flung the door open, revealing a girl straddling some guy’s lap. Her shirt was unbuttoned, exposing her breasts, and the boy’s lips trailed along her neck. But within the split second of Hide barging in, the poor girl screamed and jumped away from the guy she was sitting on. Quickly, she fixed her shirt and then ran out of the door. I instinctively slapped my hands to cover my eyes from the inappropriate scene in front of me. This is why we knock kids.

“Nagachika,” the two boys blocked my view of the guy in the room, so I couldn’t see who it was, but that voice sounded familiar, making my hair stand on end. “I really don’t like my territory being violated.”

“Nishiki?!” His name came out of my mouth before I could stop it. Great, why him?

“Oh? (Y/n).” He looked at me with his snake-like eyes.

“You guys know each other?” Hide asked.

“Unfortunately,” I glared at the brunette boy. He sat unfazed in his desk chair with a bandaid plastered to his cheek. I couldn’t help but smirk, knowing my attack was deep enough and still healing.

“Oh, well,” the blonde awkwardly scratched his head. “I guess I don’t have to introduce you two.” Hide then pointed towards the black-haired boy, “Kaneki, this is Nishio, Nishio, Kaneki.”

The tall brunette gets up from his chair and fixes his shirt. He takes a few long strides to Kaneki and stops in front of his face, giving Kaneki a chilling smile. “Nice to meet you, Kaneki,” Nishiki’s voice was dark, and I couldn’t help but tremble along with Kaneki. The poor boy looked like he was going to faint. He already didn’t like me because I was a ghoul and didn’t initially like the idea of me around Hide, so he must be freaking out now that another ghoul is in the equation. Especially a violent one like Nishiki.

Hide drew Nishiki’s attention by asking for the DVD for last year’s festival. The brunette started delegating areas for all of us to look at, and I felt like I’d gotten whiplash from the sudden threatening aura he gave to this now-normal college student he’s showing. It was weird to be in a room with Nishiki and not be arguing or having to defend myself. We spent about ten minutes looking for this green case that held the special CD that Hide needed.

“Oh, you know what? I took that disk home,” Nishiki said. Like hell, he took it home. He’s up to something, and I don’t like it. “It’s not too far, so we could head over there and grab it.”

“Hide, do you need it right now? Nishiki can always bring it to you tomorrow.” I looked at the blonde boy with pleading eyes, hoping he would understand what I was trying to say. Don’t go with him. It’s a trap.

“Don’t worry, guys,” Hide flashed us a bright smile, “You don’t have to come along.”

“I-I’m coming along!” Kaneki quickly responded.

“Yeah, I’m not leaving you alone with Nishiki,” I said bluntly. He already knows how I feel about him, so there’s no point in hiding it.

“What’s gotten into you guys?” Hide questions.

“I’ve been cooped up at home, so going out somewhere would be nice.” Kaneki’s reply seems legit since he has been home the past few days since he got out of the hospital, but it’s clear that he doesn’t want his friend to be alone with Nishiki.

“I don’t trust Nishiki,” I flatly said. Maybe Hide will change his mind about going if I’m honest about how terrible Nishiki is, or I could make him believe I’m uncomfortable and would like us all to go somewhere else, which isn’t entirely wrong. I got lucky last night with the hit I landed on him, and I doubt the universe would allow me to be this lucky twice in a row.

“Aww, (Y/n), after all these years, you still don’t trust me,” Nishiki says. He walks towards me and tries to wrap his arm around my shoulder, but I step to the side, brushing him off. That annoyed him, and he glared at me through his hooded eyes. His face will get stuck in a permanent glare if he does it one more time.

Hide slides between the brunette and me, an uncomfortable chuckle escaping his lips, “Well, let’s head out then.”

Nishiki and Hide chatted as we walked along the sidewalk while Kaneki and I sulked in the back. Well, Kaneki was the one sulking as I burned daggers into Nishiki’s back. We encountered a Taiyaki stand on our way, and Nishiki insisted we get some. Hide seemed happy to snack on something, and I begrudgingly accepted the treat. I had drunk all my coffee earlier, so I could not wash the vile taste down after eating the Taiyaki. Kaneki watched Nishiki and me with amazement at how we stomached the food. He must learn to eat and look like he’s enjoying it if he still wants to blend in with his friend.

“Nishio, how much further?” Hide asks the brunette.

“It’s just around the corner here.” The tall male walks up behind the blonde boy. Before I could react, Nishiki slammed his foot into Hide’s back, sending him flying into the wall ahead of us.

“Hide!” Kaneki and I screamed.

Without thinking, I released my kagune, and I rushed towards Nishki. He quickly dodged my attack and then slammed his foot on me. The sheer pressure of him stomping me into the ground broke the concrete beneath me. I could feel the snapping of my ribs, and I groaned in pain as I tried to wriggle my way out. He had me pinned.

“I won’t be going easy on you today (Y/n). We’re not by your precious Anteiku, so I don’t have to worry about those shitheads showing up to help you.” I should’ve known I won yesterday because he didn’t want to deal with Mr. Yoshimura or Yomo. “My strength can match Touka’s or even Yomos if I wanted it to, and right now, I’m just using 80%.” He pushes his foot even further into my body. Then he kicks my side, sending me tumbling across the floor. I really shouldn’t have turned down all those sparing sessions from Yomo. They could have come in handy right now. Even with the blinding pain shooting through my abdomen, I pull myself off the ground and take a fighting stance. I won’t give up until I can’t move anymore.

This time, I wait for Nishiki to come towards me, and when he gets close enough to try and kick me again, I swing my sword down at him and slash his leg. “You bitch!” He yells at me, stumbling backward. Oh good, I landed a blow. It wasn’t the leg his kagune wraps around, but it’ll kill his speed with how much he relies on his legs. It won’t give me an advantage, but It might help me. I could see the blood boiling inside him, and I prepared myself for his next move, knowing Nishiki would be full of anger. But nothing could’ve prepared me for the way he slammed his head against mine, causing the room to spin and taking advantage of my momentary dizziness to kick his kagune straight through my stomach. Blood trickled up my throat, and I choked on the thick fluid, spitting some up onto the brunette boy’s face.

“You’re so fucking weak.” Nishiki slowly retracted his kagune from my body. With a loud thud, my body collapsed to the ground. My vision was fading in and out, and a loud buzzing rang throughout my ears. I tried to pull myself together but couldn’t determine which way was up or down. The pain was so unreal my body almost went numb, but I could feel the warm liquid coat my skin. I could practically make out two blurry figures fighting against one another and hear a faint scream somewhere in the distance. My sense of self was slowly starting to come back. I lifted my head to see Nishiki hovering over Hide. Nishiki’s foot was lifted over the blonde boy’s head, and he slammed it against his face. I still couldn’t distinguish his exact words, but I knew he was taunting Kaneki. He slammed his foot down again.

“N-No,” I tried to croak out, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was more blood. I couldn’t let him hurt Hide. He could kill him without even meaning to. With the bit of strength left in my body, I hurried to fling myself over the vibrant boy, and once my body was over his, a heavy foot collided with my skull. Then everything turned black.

——————————

When I woke back up, I was lying in my bed at Anteiku, and the pain I felt in my abdomen was nearly gone. I dragged my sore body out of bed and hobbled into the hallway. A slight cramp sprang through my stomach, letting me know I hadn’t completely healed yet. My feet dragged against the floor, and I stopped before Mr. Yoshimura’s office. I tapped my knuckles against the wooden door and waited for the older man’s voice to float through, letting me know I could enter. He seemed surprised to see me out of bed and standing before him.

“(Y/n), what are you doing out of bed? You should be resting.” Mr. Yoshimura’s voice was strict but caring.

“H-Hide, what happened to him?” My throat still felt raw, and the words tumbling out didn’t sound quite right.

“Here, I’ll show you.” Mr. Yoshimura held his arm out to me, and I gratefully accepted. He helped me walk down the hall to one of the empty rooms and slid the door open. On the bed lay a boy sleeping, his head wrapped up and tufts of dirty blonde hair sticking out the top. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, and my lips trembled.

“W-what happened?” I choked out.

“Touka was passing by and was able to stop the fight. She immediately called Yomo to explain the situation, and we quickly rushed to help. Then we brought everyone back to Anteiku.”

“So Touka saved us. I guess I’ll have to thank her later,” I paused and stared at the serene boy lying on the bed, “Is it okay if I stay in here?” Mr. Yoshimura nodded and then turned around to leave me alone with Hide. I hobbled closer to the bed and kneeled on the floor beside him. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered to the boy, “I’m so, so, s-sorry.” My body began to convulse as the tears came flooding out. I draped my body over the side of the bed and stayed lying there until I cried myself back to sleep.

I was woken back up by the sound of the door sliding back open. I whipped my head off the bed to see Kaneki standing in the doorway, tears also staining his eyes. A look of relief washed over him as he stared down at his friend, who was still alive.

“Kaneki,” My voice was soft, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” I flashed a small smile at him.

“(Y/n), I-I,” the black-haired male gripped his stomach and then glanced back at Mr. Yoshimura standing behind him. “I don’t feel hungry anymore…” Kanekis’s voice trailed off. “What did you do to me?” He asked the older man.

“There is only one way to eliminate a ghoul’s hunger, and I think you know what that is.” Mr. Yoshimura said matter-of-factly, “If you kept going down the road you were on, you would have killed your friend.” The old man’s usually closed eyes opened widely, and he looked Kaneki straight on, “Accept what you are.”

The poor boy hung his head, and the tears slipped past his eyes and fell to the floor, “I-I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“You don’t have to,” I finally spoke, “Here at Anteiku, we get our food without hurting humans.”

“I-I, I just feel like I don’t belong anywhere,” Kaneki cried out, “I’m not a human anymore, but I’m also not a ghoul.”

“You’re wrong, young man,” Mr. Yoshimura said, resting a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder. “You’re both. You’re the only person who can exist in both worlds. So let us help you. We can teach you about ghouls, and you can teach us about humans.”

——————————

Hide’s POV

I woke up with an intense pounding in my head, and my body was sore. The last thing I remember was walking with Nishiki, Kaneki, and (Y/n), and then something crashed into me, knocking me out cold. There was a split moment where I remember fading back into consciousness, and something, no, someone, was covering my body. It was (Y/n), but it feels like a fever dream. I’m not sure if that was even real. I took in the room around me, and it didn’t seem like a hospital. Where was I? This is just a regular bedroom, but who brought me here? What even happened? I slowly sat up in the bed, my body aching in protest, but stopped mid-movement when I noticed a (h/c) haired girl slumped over the bed I was lying on.

Her cheek rested on her arms, and her back rose with a deep breath. Salty trails stained her face, and my chest tightened at the thought that she lay here crying till she most likely passed out. Gently, I reached out to her soft face and rubbed away the marks her tears left. She leaned into my touch, so I left my hand there, cupping her cheek. (Y/n), I can’t help but feel like you saved me today but hurt yourself in the process of doing it. My finger lightly rubbed against her skin, and I leaned down carefully, kissing her forehead. She’s been through a lot these past few days and deserves rest. Maybe I should get up and lay her in the bed?

Before I could do anything, my ears perked up at the sound of footsteps in the hallway and a set of male voices. One sounded more mature, and the other was a soft voice I knew by heart. Kaneki. He seemed worried, but the other male reassured him. The steps approached my room, and my gut told me I shouldn’t be awake yet. So I quickly laid back down and closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. The door slid open, and a choked sob left the timid boy’s throat. Oh, Kaneki, he’s never been one to deal with hardships well. I could feel (Y/n)’s body jolt off the bed, and her sweet voice broke through the air. She greeted Kaneki and expressed how thankful she was that he was okay. It seems that whatever happened, we were all hurt badly.

The next few moments were challenging to stay still for, but they confirmed many things I already suspected. Kaneki is half-ghoul now, and in fact, everyone in this room is a ghoul except me. Honestly, it didn’t scare me; I was just relieved to know why my friend was acting differently now, and it killed me to hear him sound so broken. So lonely. He would be dumb if he thought I would stop being his friend because he’s different now. It also makes sense why (Y/n) acted weirdly with me. She’s scared to get close to a human, but I’ll slowly show her it’s okay.

The older gentleman had left the room to give Kaneki some space after their emotional conversation, and (Y/n) was about to go when Kaneki called out to her. “Wait, (Y/n),” my friend spoke softly. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for all the harsh things I said to you last night.”

Harsh things he said? Did he say something rude to her? Was that why she didn’t want to join us when I first asked?

“It’s okay; it wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before,” Her voice made me want to jump out of bed and pull her into my arms.

“It’s not okay, and I’m realizing that now. You sacrificed yourself to keep Hide safe when I could barely fight or keep myself together. You threw your body over him to protect him from Nishio.”

What?! So, I wasn’t hallucinating. She was covering me to keep me safe.

“Thank you for keeping my best friend safe,” Kaneki cried. This brought me back to the cafe where the (h/c) haired girl told me how she saved Kaneki. She truly is something else, isn’t she?

——————————

AN:

Hey everyone I’m just testing out this story here on tumblr! I’ve also uploaded it on Quotev! Let me know what you think!

I do plan on posting this story on Quotev first before anything else, so look for it there!

#tokyo ghoul #hideyoshi nagachika #ken kaneki #touka kirishima #hide x reader #hide #Tokyo ghoul x reader #tokyo ghoul manga #anime #fanfiction #x reader #smut #manga #hide nagachika #ghoul #yomo renji #Uta

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