#the oh my god…. my influence

[ginalinettiofficial]

so okay there’s this song the family i work for sings a lot that goes like this:

“i love you, you, you,

yes i do, do, do,

i love you, you, you,

i love…”

and then at the end of the verse, you insert the name of a person you love.

B2.5 likes to sing this song to himself during nap time. he typically cycles through the names of his loved ones and himself - “i love daina!”, “i love mama!”, “i love mommy!”, etc etc.

today, over the baby monitor, i heard him singing it this way:

“i love you, you, you,

yes i do, do, do,

i love you, you, you,

i love… nobody!”

followed by a split second pause, and then him saying, entirely to himself: “oh my god that be so sad.”

he then resang the song, and this time, ended with “i love… all body!”

this kid cracks me up man

[dangenderenvy]

this thumbnail like ur telling me they posted heart eyes howell on MAIN?!?!

[amid-fandoms]

what. are they "rehearsing" for exactly what the fuck have i gotten myself into with this tour

[blossoms-phan]

they’re so. sosososo pretty (x) (x)

[polevaultingzombie]

they’re putting chemicals in the dirt that turn the freakin plants gay

[lucabyte]

Stardust.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Lackadaisy Enrichment

[leafeyrune]

Embracing you.

[nebulaedaniel]

BIG AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

[jamesrambles]

seeing everything about the secret lives of mormon wives is so weird to me because

1. I didn’t grow up in Utah so some of the more cultural vs. doctrinal societal norms weren’t really prevalent

2. I have very chill parents who love the religion but also know that the church institution itself is fallible and religion/practice are personal above all else

so it feels almost alien??? Like I grew up in the church, and even though I’m pagan now I still enjoy going to church with family when I’m in town and I feel up to it. I have ties there. I love a lot of the people in the ward I grew up in.

it feels like this show is talking about something I’m barely even familiar with. Idk. It’s also frustrating because I really want someone from outside of the church to take us seriously enough to do an actual deep dive into the cosmology/culture/structure and general history of the church without affirming or outright condemning all of it. There’s so much nuance in people’s relationships with church and it makes me kinda sad that we never get that.

idk I maybe need to start incorporating some Mormon characters with actual nuance into writing projects ‘cause… I’m sad sometimes lol

(also if I have to explain one more time to someone that an institution can be bad/have serious flaws without being a cult I’m going to lose it. SOME BRANCHES OF THE CHURCH FIT THE BITE MODEL. SOME DO NOT. STOP USING CULT AS A BUZZWORD. I grew up with people saying Mormonism was a cult. I also know someone who was raised in an actual cult, and trust me, the cultish-ness of lds religious practice is based on a wide variety of factors and where you live. I personally think it’s pretty rude to just tell someone you barely know that they’re in a cult with no research or sensitivity around it.)

[art-emis99]

SO I WAS JUST CHECKING WHAT WAS ON GREENS INSTAGRAM. AND GUYS

EVILLEST WAY TO ANNOUNCE THAT HE ACTUALLY HAD A FRIEND BREAK UP WITH THE REST OF THE COLOR GANG??? AND HES ACTING LIKE HE DOESNT CARE???

[the-broken-pen]

Honestly the pipeline of “reading the-modern-typewriter snippets at midnight on the floor of my bathroom at age eleven so I wouldn’t get caught” to “being a tumblr writer myself” is a wild one.

[pepper-pastry]

@danielhowell @amazingphil

[muttsandmustelidae]

man have whatever opinions you want about doodles, but if you’re immediately a dick to people who say they have a labradoodle or whatever you reeeeeeally need to work on not being such a deeply unpleasant individual. you’re not being the A+ Good Ethical Dog Person you think you are, you’re just being an unprovoked asshole 💀

[grasslandgirl]

my favorite kinds of bad kids fan art is when there's one of the girls that's like saint/oracle/devil or etc etc like depicting their huge world bending influence and power and then. also the boys are here. yeah they're just guys<3 special normal guys<3

[crystalflygeo]

That's one way to alleviate cramps ft. dragon!Zhongli + fem!reader

cw/tags: Period sex. That's... that's it, pls do not perceive me. Zhongli is a tiny dragon on this one. Chonkli. And he has a long dragon tongue bc of course. Oral sex (reader receiving) Blood I guess it's a given??? An attempt at fluff/cuteness and humor was made.

notes: @moraxsthrone Kel I want everyone to know this is 300% YOUR FAULT (this is a link ehe). Imma just post this before I think twice and then go hit my pillow I'm hungry and TIRED and delirious. Obviously.

“Hng- f-fuck… Zhongliiiii” You groan, squirming on the sheets.

You curl into a tight ball and your arms snake around your midsection, biting your lip hard as another wave of pain washes over your body. It’s sharp, muscles spasming, it leaves you sweaty and tense and whining.

“Archons why…” You mumble, letting out a rather strained sigh.

Your body relaxes a little, melting on the bed once the cramps are over, but your body still feels sore, and it’s hot, too hot, even when you’re down to your undergarments.

A very small and rather adorable dragon shifts frantically all around you, looking very much like a distressed puppy wanting to help but not knowing very well how to.

He noses at your cheek, scales cool against the heated skin, and then laps there trying to comfort you. “I apologize for not being able to help more, dearest.” The deep voice practically echoes in your head, reassuring, and definitely not matching his current cutesy appearance.

You smile softly and run your hand along his back, the scales shivering at your touch. “I-It’s okay Li… comes and goes…”

You’ve rarely ever seen Zhongli in this form, maybe two or three times actually. A miniature and… ‘chonky’… version of his regal Exuvia, with blunt horns and claws, and the size of your torso. He almost looks like a plushie, albeit a scaled one.

He’d said it was for your comfort, and honestly, you really enjoyed cuddling him on this form, playing with his tail fluff or let him ‘make biscuits’ over your skin.

And speaking of…

Once he sees you rolled over your back again, the overgrown lizard makes his way to your belly and starts pressing his small paws over your tummy, massaging. You can’t help the laugh that bubbles from your throat as it tickles a little.

“That’s better. I much prefer hearing your laugh, baobei.”

“Y-yeah… thank you Li.”

It goes on for a few minutes, the cramps seemingly dissipated for now as he purrs content and your body relaxes at his ministrations. It’s soothing.

But now another problem presents itself…

You groan again and slightly grimace. Your body is all sensitive, hot and sore, and he keeps insistently pressing and kneading at your pelvis, skirting the edge of your panties and so close… so close…

Archons how can you be thinking on that now? You were in pain merely moments ago! And now’s not the time to…

“Darling?” You see the small dragon sniff at the air. “Are you… aroused?”

Oh, damn his freaky dragon senses.

He has no right to sound that amused when he looks so cute either!

“N-No?! I’m- How could I-” You sputter.

His hearty chuckle invades your mind. “No need to be embarrassed, my dear. It’s quite understandable.” The dragon coos and nuzzles at your lower belly making you shiver. “In this stage of your cycle, you’re quite vulnerable and your hormones-”

“Stop. Stop talking biology to me I don’t- I don’t want to hear it!” You exclaim, face flushing. And yet you feel yourself getting needier.

And you know he knows.

“Very well.” His little paws and snout skim at your thighs and you feel the mattress shift as he settles between your legs curling there as if it was the most normal course of action. “Then, will you allow me to tend to you?” His head rests over your inner tight, staring up at you with bright rounded golden eyes.

“Li. I’m bleeding. It’s disgusting…” You mumble deadpanning.

The dragon only blinks at you “Oh, I assure you it’s not. It doesn’t bother me. And even so, beneath metallic smell of blood the scent of your arousal is rather tantalizing…”

Celestia’s sake.

You cover your face with your hands. “You perverted old lizard…f-fine…”

He only chuckles again and next thing you know you let out a shameful squeak as you feel the small dragon press his nose against your clothed core, hot and dampness mixing up together and causing funny feelings to swirl inside you.

Even in this form, Zhongli is nothing but thorough and attentive with his love as he nips and licks at your skin in smooth and carefully considered paths for a moment before starting to pull off your underwear on blunt teeth and clumsy paws.

Still a bit mortified but much hornier than you’d care to admit, you help out on the task, taking out the last piece of clothing you had on and laying back down fully naked. Well. Good thing the mattress was already protected in your paranoia to avoid stains…

The slow thoughtful drag of that thick dragon tongue over your folds has you immediately keening. You cover your face still embarrassed as he laps up the residual taste of blood and shed lining, dutifully cleaning you up.

The tang of copper and iron on his tongue makes him a bit feral and he enthusiastically dives deeper, rewarded with your moans that only spur him on. His little dragon snout rubbing against your clit as the long serpentine tongue enters you. Not as thick as usual but certainly just as skilled.

“Hah… T-That feels so good…”

“I’m glad.” The dragon hums proudly. “Pleasure and orgasms are certainly good ways to mitigate pain and allow the body to unwind.”

“A-Ah! Y-You can certainly… hng… multitask, hm? Lord of Geo?”

You feel that sinful tongue slide out of you wetly, and then lick insistently at the little bundle of nerves, pulling a high-pitched mewl out of you.    

“I’d say, the fact that you’re still able to talk means I’m not doing my job properly. Allow me, dearest.”

Pleasure builds steadily as Zhongli’s forked tongue works inside you, massaging and trusting in all the right spots, as outside, carefully blunted fangs toy with your sensitive swollen clit. He drags your climax out of you languidly and reverent and you come with a broken cry, dissolving into soft whimpers as your pussy gushes weakly. A heady mix of your juices and blood which the dragon happily cleans up with more swipes of that little tongue.

Once the job is done, the little dragon sighs and climbs up to nuzzle his head against your heaving chest and you drowsily start petting along the serpentine body, his tail curling around you, either possessive, protective or simply loving and you kiss at his snout. You stay like that for a while, both soaking up the other's presence in the sweet afterglow. Until Zhongli’s soft rumble appears back in your head.

“Not so bad after all, I take it?”

“Mm… I suppose not.” You reply, groggy and already half asleep. “Wouldn’t be opposed to… do that again…” You yawn.

“Of course, darling. Glad to help in any way I can.”