#i don’t understand why people get so upset about them that the mere mention of a poodle mix turns them into the most rude unpleasant person

[muttsandmustelidae]

man have whatever opinions you want about doodles, but if you’re immediately a dick to people who say they have a labradoodle or whatever you reeeeeeally need to work on not being such a deeply unpleasant individual. you’re not being the A+ Good Ethical Dog Person you think you are, you’re just being an unprovoked asshole 💀

[thedeviljudges]

Hi Noel. We used to be mutuales back in the good old days. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

I am having a fucking horrible time. I am devastated. Even though I moved on from fandom so long ago, I always cared about Liam and I always will.

I think one of the least surprising things for me and I guess for you as well is the reaction so many people are having. They act as if their hatred for him is new and based on recent events but we know that shit runs deep and is old. I’m not even surprised by their hypocrisy because they are all about holding people accountable for their mistakes as they weren’t the biggest fucking bullies to him every single day since day one, why aren’t they holding themselves accountable for being fucking horrible people and being part of the problem? Many of us would defend him and point all of this out too and we knew back then how much he was hated on for literally existing within the band. He couldn’t post selfies because they would accuse him wanting attention and he would get bullied. He couldn’t tweet any simple and insignificant thing because they would hate on him. They were constantly body shaming him. They hated when he would show off his talent in concerts. He literally couldn’t have a fucking break because his existence alone was enough to fueled their hatred towards him. The way they had a fucking field day bullying him and body shaming him when they filmed you & I video. It was constant. It doesn’t matter and it didn’t matter what he did because they simply just hated him and would let him know. Not only were they a huge component of the system that messed him up over the years, not only did they bullied him back then, but now too even in the wake of his death. I never understood it back then and I don’t understand it now, how they could do all of that and continue to do so while demanding accountability and who knows what else as if they are deserving of anything from him or his loved ones when they were fucking horrible to people since the very first day of 1D.

Anyway, to anyone who is hurting and is grieving him, do so, and do so without holding back, do so because no one has the right to police your feelings, and fuck anyone who makes you feel bad for grieving Liam.

hi, babe. i hope you've been well all this time. 🥺

tbh it's hard to add anything because i agree completely. liam was always the one that went through the worst comments (aside from the racism zayn faced) and treatment within the band. people were always so cruel to him for no reason. and no matter what he did, the fandom always found fault with it. it makes me especially sick to see how twitter was relentless with their bullying the week before all of this happened. it was nonstop and then now to see them all pivot and upset... hypocrites.

and all i keep thinking about is how unfair it was because if any of the boys did what he did (and have done), everyone's been so forgiving. but not for liam.

liam loved one direction with his whole heart. he kept the band alive during their activities and long after by mere mention and discussion and knew how special it was for fans and himself. he was the reason i got into one direction, which i think is why it's also hitting me so hard. he's the first video i saw walking the streets of the us in 2012, who stopped for a few fans. he was so kind and loving, and it's incredible how many people in the industry have commented how lovely he truly was.

i feel a lot of things still, so it's really difficult to put it all into words in a single post. but liam was so talented and the fact that fandom never recognized the brilliance of it will forever hang over one direction now.

i truly hope people take this as a lesson to be kind; everyone preaches about it so much - and you're right. they want accountability but can't even recognize that their own actions warrant accountability, too. the callousness that has infected the internet and fandoms will truly be its downfall. there are so many of us who talk about how it's not the same, and it will never be the same again if we don't start having compassion and love even in the face of difficulty and misconduct.

[hotpinkstars]

Can i have eula,kujou sara and navia reacting to their s/o who endured a lot and manages to rise from the ashes time and time again?

-> destruction, a vicious cycle

synopsis -> no matter what, you can never catch a break. being brought down, rebuilding yourself, and being brought down all over again is your cycle of life.

a/n -> my first official request yayyy!! ah i was so happy when i saw this in my inbox because i'm only creative when it comes to drawing i seriously cannot think of anymore prompts..... anyways everybody feel free to send some in fhajdkdkks they'll likely get done by same/next day!! sorry if this was misinterpreted i cannot focus on anything rn and it's been like this for the past few days

warnings -> mentions of injury, reader showing evident signs of wanting to give up, crying, mostly angst

w/c -> 1.3k

eula 

she gets that feeling. more or less better than anyone else you know would. considering her horrific past, she would wake up and go into the day blindly, not knowing what there is to come for the next string of long hours. she’s been rejected by monstadts people, by her own family. 

so when you express your feelings to her, she gets it. but she’ll still do her best to comfort you anyways. 

so, she started paying more attention to the things you do and the interactions you have with people.

the first time she witnessed something was when you had tried oh so hard to gain the trust of the acting grand master, jean, just for it to all crumble down due to a silly rumor that an immature guard decided to spread around the favonius headquarters. it had caused a lot of backlash on your part from the cities residents and from all of the knights and the vision holders that are affiliated with them. 

and then, once you regained her trust and worked day and night to get the residents on a good t with you, your family decided to shame you for no reason whatsoever, and bringing another issue you worked to fix for yourself into your life.

it felt rather draining, being unable to catch a break. one thing after another, one day at a time. life felt like a cycle to you at this point. 

whether you had a brutal injury in combat and had to work endlessly (or at least to what felt like it) to prove your strength to yourself and the world once more or simply had to regain trust, you were genuinely tired. 

so, eula tries to take the burden. at first, she tries to take in entirely, but you both knew that wouldn’t be possible. she wasn’t the one injured, or the one who was mere seconds from being roughly escorted out of the city. she couldn’t necessarily shoulder that without being the one in the position. 

but what she could do was allow you to cry and express your emotions to her when you’re in the safety of your own home. you both knew that she wouldn’t turn on you for your life cycle. she was the only person you felt you could genuinely trust at the time and you felt really grateful to have someone as wonderful as her. 

she’s been making it much easier for you to live now, and she’ll proceed to do so throughout the rest of the time the world gives you two. 

kujou sara

you understood she didn’t have much time to listen and understand what your life is like, and all of the traumatic and upsetting stories that go with your name. she’s constantly out, fulfilling her loyalty to the esteemed shogun and leading over the tenryou commission, and she doesn’t come back until late most nights, if she even does come back. you completely understand what she does and why it’s so important, and she always tries so hard to make you feel loved and that she has time for you. 

but you haven’t had that chat about yourself with her yet. and you don’t know when you will.

she first picks up on something being not right when you came home, trying so so hard to fight back tears and nearly failing. you excused yourself to the shower, allowing the tears to spill due to the water muting your cries. 

but she knew. she knew something was up, and she wanted to ask you about it, but at this very moment was one of the first times she thought she couldn’t make up the words to confront you. so when she does, it sounds more like a demand then a question. you both knew that it wasn’t supposed to sound that way.

once you told her, she nodded, getting up and making you some tea to try and soothe you. she didn’t try to pressure you into relaxation, or to tell you to be calm. because telling you that would be unfair. she’s not that way, so why should she force you to be? 

like eula, she’ll keep a close eye on you sometimes. the first time she witnessed what she had at first thought was your downfall, she tried to keep herself composed as you struggled to get the blade out of your stomach. 

it was one hell of a journey to get you back on your feet. not only was this weighing down on you, the thought of disappointing sara or being a burden to her (considering her 5 hour stays at the hospital nearly every single day) haunted you. corrupted your sleep, and corrupted your mind whenever she was helping you through your physical therapy work. 

once you were back on your feet, it seemed like another thing after another happened. you were asked so much out of the citizens of inazuma city, and even yelled at, until you snapped at one of them and it was the headline in the papers. even guuji yae looked into it. then again, you worked to build yourself up again.

no matter how vicious the cycle, you knew you always had sara there to support you. 

navia 

she wasn’t stupid, she knew something was upsetting you, but didn’t want to ask. since the loss of her father she’s learned certain ways to cope, and she just thought you were using your ways to cope, too. 

but she realized it was much more than that.

you two had heard rumors of someone going around and pickpocketing people, taking mora. so, considering she wanted to try and solve such a mystery, she asked you if you’d like to accompany her, and you agreed. 

the person who did it was a fontaine citizen who had been doing this for years to survive. the woman lived on the streets, occasionally stealing food from food stands when they came out, or threatening cafe owners into giving her what she wanted. 

considering the fact that she could be considered mental, she framed you. and you were the one who had to face the repercussions. 

thats when navia really started to realize that this wasn’t the first time something this horrible has happened to you, considering your reaction to the whole situation and how you brushed it off whenever she’d bring it up. you had a 4 month sentence in the fortress, and though it used to be something like 4 years, navia made a deal with wriothesley into shortening it due to false accusation. 

but once you got out of the prison, it seemed you couldn’t catch a break from tragedies. from things you didn’t even know you were doing to things people made up lies about, you felt that you constantly had to prove yourself to the people of the city, to prove that you weren’t a horrible person whose only interest is stealing peoples things and hurting others. 

navia would let you talk for as long as you possibly needed, listening extra hard when you mention some more disturbing topics that you barely got back up from, but managed to anyways. she understood the comparison when you mentioned how it feels like a never ending cycle of devastating events, and how you were tired of always being forced to be the bad guy in situations you didn’t even know were happening half of the time. 

she’ll settle your cries with a nice warm hug (if it gets to the point of crying) and makes sure she can help you in any way you need when another one of these incidents happen. she knows she’ll never be able to make it all go away, but she tries to at least make it less of a weight to carry around when you two are together.

[bamboobooshark]

AMMIT X LITTLE!READER

ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ CG!AMMIT HEADCANONS : 840 WRDS

<RATING: PG, FLUFF, AGERE, PROTECTIVE AMMIT>

A/N : Okay I know she’s supposed to be a big bad villain but her voice is so calming and I feel like she’d be an amazing mother/mama/CG pleaseeeeee don’t slander me for thissssss 😞

<SFW INTERACTION ONLY, MDNI/18+ ONLY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED>

FAVORTISM .

Whether or not you’re Ammit’s avatar, you’re the favorite when you’re regressed. She’ll let you sit on her lap and order people around. She makes sure you get everything you need. She treats you like royalty and makes sure neither you nor she have to move a muscle. As long as you’re little, Ammit will make you the most satisfied and happy kiddo ever.

“Do you need anything, my child?” she asks you kindly as her large claws pet you. You shake your head, resulting in the goddess gasping at you. “Are you sure? You could have anything you could ever want. Whatever you need, your mother is happy to get it for you,” she emphasizes with slightly widened eyes. Out of fear of making your mama upset, you let her know that maybe something to drink wouldn’t be too bad. Before you know it, she’s got servants asking what you’d like to drink, what you want it in, all of it.

Oh, and if you have any preferences or allergies that her servants forget about, you better bet they’ll get a hot scolding from Ammit.

MY CHILD .

When you first started to regress in front of Ammit and inform her about it, she was confused. Not confused in a negative way, but confused as well as concerned that she might mess things up. However, when you started to call her mama and mommy, she decided you needed a name too!

Most of the time she’ll call you “my child” or something to that extent. When she’s feeling more affectionate or you’re feeling down, she’ll call you her hatching or her little god/goddess. She still uses your name every so often when you’re regressed, but that’s only if she’s being serious or strict with you. Even then, it’s rare for her to do so. If you decide to act “bratty” around her, she’ll just coo and praise you until you calm down.

“Is something wrong, my hatchling? You are not yourself today,” she questions before pressing a gently kiss to your forehead. You cross your arms and huff in defiance. Ammit smiles slightly, a few crooked teeth poking out from her lips. “You have no need to be so upset around me. If something is bothering you, you can always tell me. I am your mother. I will be here for you,” she coos as she pulls you into a tight hug. Her embrace is so comforting and safe that you can’t help but give up the pout and melt in her arms.

RULES & REGULATIONS .

Rules? Ammit doesn’t have rules for you. She makes sure that you’re always around her or in her line of sight when you’re little. But she does have rules with fine print for others who want to be around you when you’re regressed. They can’t be too loud, they can’t be too quiet, they can’t touch you, and they can’t really do anything besides ask you very basic questions and speak to you softly.

“Mama, why do all the servants act the same?” you ask her one day as she’s helping you get cleaned up after running around. She hums in thought before being completely honest with you. “You see my child; they must follow very strict rules. I cannot have you getting upset over some mere, dense mortal’s mistake. That would be distasteful on their part and humiliating on mine. I want you to be as happy as possible,” she explains while washing your back. You nod your head in understanding, and knowing the “mere mortal” thing is never about you.

NATURAL HABITS.

You’ve yet to mention it, but you find it very silly in a way that Ammit will mimic crocodile-like behaviors when you’re small. She might’ve caught herself once or twice, but it’s in her nature. She doesn’t mind that the actions will slip from her mind before she can stop and think about them. She’ll usually carry you on her head and let you sit there like you’re the most valuable crown she could ever get her claws on. She thinks you’re far more valuable than any material item, though.

You hold on to the goddess’s head, the texture of her scales causing friction against your palms and giving you a good grip on her skin. Ammit chuckles softly when she feels you wriggling and grabbing at her. “Are you going to be alright up there, my child? I can take you down at once. All you have to do is say the word,” she reminds you as she aimlessly wanders around her throne room. She’s got no good reason to be walking around like this besides letting you sit on her head. You shake your head no before Ammit lets out a huff. “I need you to use your words. I cannot see you when you’re on top of me,” she reminds you. “I said no. I want to be up here. I like it,” you tell her while smiling and pressing yourself against her. She smiles in return and hums in acknowledgment.

[essayofthoughts]

DVD Commentary ask game, from "A Whisper On My Shoulder"! --

“They’ve been naughty,” Gren says. “He told me. I won’t be naughty; I’ll be good.”

There’s such a childish certainty to his words. It makes some part of Percy twist in upset: he remembers Ludwig saying similarly, hoping desperately that if they were good, if they answered the questions, they would be let out of the cells, only bad people go in the cells-

Cass’ presence slides firmly between his thoughts and he pulls himself back into the present. As they watch, the golden-eyed child’s hand falls on Gren’s shoulder. The look the two share is easy to understand, that of an older child to the younger, let me deal with this. As they watch Gren nods and takes the book to return it to a shelf; the golden-eyed child hopping down from his chair and- changing.

He’s tall, as the- the illusion or shapeshifting or whatever it is, fades away. Tall and lean, lean enough it seems odd that he can so easily bear the weight of the burnished golden breastplate, though perhaps that’s a visual illusion with the long, dead-straight fall of black hair, stretching an already narrow face to look longer. He’s a proud, pale face, a narrow nose, shockingly dark eyes given the almost glowing gold of his child-form, a jaw a little wider that quite suits his face, but it suits the expression of annoyed disgust he’s wearing as he steps forward.

It’s only then, as he takes that step closer, that they see the chains, stretching from the breastplate to the necks of four of the children cleaning.

No wonder they can’t leave, Percy thinks. No wonder Mirrell was so sceptical they could do anything.

“Leave,” the eerie man says smoothly. “This is a place for children and happiness, not for-” and he gestures towards them with a long, golden-armoured arm “-grown adults like yourselves. You don’t belong here.”

“Nor do the children you’ve kidnapped,” Vax replies. “They belong with their parents, with their friends-”

“And what of those without parents?” the man asks. “Without friends.” He reaches out a hand to one of the chained children, his gauntleted hand gently caressing back wavy brown curls. He looks them over one by one. “Some of them have no place to go. At least here they are housed and clothed and fed.”

“And what about when you get bored of them?” Vex asks. “When they’re not happy or when they’re not children anymore?” She waves at the children toiling around them, hardly playing or happy, at Gren, warily staying away from the discussion. “When they’re not what you think they should be? What happens then?”

“Why, they are let free of course.” The man says it with such ease that Percy knows it to be a lie. “I wouldn’t keep them here any more than I mean to keep you here. Look, I’ll even give you a gift to send you on your way. I have plenty of fascinating books about all kinds of topics - wouldn’t you like to know about the powers of the Palestone? The limitations of undeath? Gods of secrets and the secrets they hold? There’s so much you might make use of - I could give you any book you wish.”

Keyleth and Vax are stubborn in refusal, Pike too, and Grog beside her is simply disinterested. Vex is interested though, at the least curious about the worth of such tomes, and he sees Tiberius’ face alight at the mere mention of one of his beloved artefacts.

“And what if,” Percy bites out, trying to keep his voice as steady as he possibly can, “The book I wish is a book that I print on the skin I flay from your back?”

--

I cheated and did more than 500 words :3c

Oh! So I was very much aiming for the kind of real life abuse you can see in cases with a significant power/experience differential, and the way in which abused kids or the abused party in any relationship can find a way to rationalise what was done, be that to them or another. Like. Gren's words are meant to be really uncomfortable, because by rationalising away the Dread Emperor's treatment of the other kids he is setting up the potential for his own self-rationalisation of it later - and kind of revealing the intrinsic authoritarianism of a monarchy, even if led by the best and best intentioned of people.

The Dread Emperor's depiction I was very much trying to invoke some of Michael Jackson's appearance? Because the cast describe the Dread Emperor as "Evil Michael Jackson". And, in some photos, Michael Jackson had a very wide but sharp jaw, and it's a very striking look! Meanwhile Percy, with his taste for aesthetics, gets judgemental because... he would.

The Dread Emperor's little speech and justification to VM is again the rationalisations of an abuser - and also trying to catch them off guard so he can, one way or another, remove them. It's also set up for other things! The Palestone is one of the artefacts Tiberius was after, the limitations of undeath is both relevant to Cass in this AU and a sneaking hint at the next things he offers - knowledge of gods of secrets and the secrets they hold, AKA Vecna.

But of course, Percy's gotta Percy and have a one-liner - that one is taken directly from the clipshow of some of their homegames and I have no idea if this was the context, but it's context that felt like it'd fit to me.

Send me ~500 words from a fanfic I've written and I'll give DVD Commentary-esque explanation of why I wrote it like that

[chickensarentcheap]

Lost and Found -Chapter 16

Fandom: Extraction

Pairing: Tyler Rake and Esme Drummond (established OFC. Although you do not need to read the others to understand this one)

Warnings: profanity, mention of child death, some gun violence

Tagging: @tragiclyhip @youflickedtooharddamnit @secretaryunpaid @munstysmind @thesirenrealm @ninjasawakenedmystar @karimac @arrthurpendragon @asirensrage @kmc1989 @timbradfordsboot @ocappreciationtag  @residentdormouse @starryeyes2000 @occommunity​

My tag list is OPEN. Please let me know if you want to be added :)

Link to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43179357/chapters/121817353

*****

Nik is already awake when he emerges from the bedroom; clad in a sleek pair of gray dress pants, a baby blue button-down, and simple black heels as she sits on the couch with her laptop on her thighs. And there’s a bemused smirk playing on her lips as she eyes him from head to toe; taking in the unruly hair and the bare feet and the same clothes from the day before.

“Morning.”

Tyler merely nods and grumbles the same in response.

“Already staying the night, I see. That was fast.”

“Didn’t see a reason to wait. It’s already been five years. Why waste even another five minutes?” Heading for the coffee bar across the room, he briefly eyes the trays of fresh fruit, breakfast pastries, and the carafes of tea and coffee. He chooses the latter; filling one of the available mugs to the brim. The first sip hits perfectly; the brew rich and flavourful. And incredibly strong.

Snapping her laptop closed, Nik places it on the coffee table and reaches for her empty tea cup. “That shouldn’t surprise me. The two of you never did believe in taking your time.”

“If this is some kind of critique about how I handle things in my personal life, I’m not interested.”

“Merely an observation. And some lighthearted teasing. A way to get a conversation going.”

“I’m not into small talk. And I’ve never been a morning person, so…”

“I was hoping you could attempt to be. Just this once. Besides, I’m not interested in small talk.”

Perching upon the arm of the love seat, he stretches his legs out in front of him; one ankle crossed over the other as he lifts the mug of coffee to his lips. “What ARE you interested in?”

“You wanted to talk. Let’s talk. While we have the chance.”

“Not with Esme and Millie close by. They don’t need to hear what I have to say. Millie doesn’t even know yet that I’m her dad. And losing my shit on you isn’t how I want her to find out.”

“They’re both asleep. And they probably will be for a while. I think we’re capable of keeping our voices down, don’t you? Of behaving like rational, civilized adults.”

“Believe me, Nik, when it comes to this? I’m feeling far from rational and civilized.”

She sighs as she stands, then moves to the coffee bar; pouring herself another drink and adding two wedges of lemon before turning to face him. “I don’t want to fight, Tyler.”

“How do you expect me to feel? About everything that’s come to light over the past thirty-six hours. You expect me NOT to be upset? You fucked up, Nik. Big time. And you don’t get a say in how I feel.”

“I know you’re angry. Hurt. I know you feel betrayed. And…”

“I trusted you. I came to you; when Esme took off. You knew it destroyed me. Losing her. You knew what a mess I was; how close I got to going back to the drinking and the pain meds.”

“You have every right to feel the things you do, Tyler. I’m not going to argue with you about that. And I’m NOT going to try and take them away from you. But…”

“I called you. Every time I was close to putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger. And you always talked me down; going on and on about how much you were helping and all the people you had on the ground and how they were turning over every stone looking for her.”

“I was there for you,” she reminds him. “At the drop of a dime. I never turned you away. I never ignored you. I never let you fight your battles alone. How many times did I just show up? On your doorstep? Because I was so worried about what you might do to yourself?”

“Yeah, you’re a regular fucking martyr, Nik.”

“I was a good friend to you. I made sure you were okay. That you were taking care of yourself. That you weren’t drinking and you weren’t back on the meds. I…”

“You were lying to me the entire time. You were never helping. You never had people looking for Esme. You just told me what I wanted to hear. You just kept filling me with all kinds of hope; that you’d find her and you’d let me know where she was and I would go and get her back. And it was nothing but bullshit.”

“I didn’t want you to give up. Not on her. And especially not on yourself. You didn’t give up after Dhaka. You were clinically dead. But you fought your way back. Did you really think I’d let that happen? Because Esme left? After everything you went through after Bangladesh…”

“She was the only reason I fought my way back. She was the first person in a long time that never looked at me like I was some piece of shit. That actually gave a fuck about me. That made me feel like a human being again. She was the ONLY reason I hung in there.”

“She loved you even then. Even that soon after meeting you. And I think…if you’re completely honest with yourself…you loved her too.”

“I don’t know if it was love. If it can even happen that quickly. But it was SOMETHING. That I’d never felt before. She was different. She gave me a chance. Felt I was actually deserving of one. I don’t know what I would have done; if she hadn’t stuck around after the job.”

“You would have gone on with your life. It would have hurt. For a long time. But you would have gone on and…”

Tyler scowls. “Don’t downplay it. The things I felt for her. In Dhaka. Don’t do that. Don’t make light of it. Of HER.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’d never…”

“You know how close I was? When she showed up that day? To just ending it all? Or hoping someone would end it for me? I’d reached my limit. I didn’t give a shit. About anything. And then I met her and everything changed. I changed. So don’t stand there and act like she wasn’t…isn’t…the best thing to ever happen to me. She saved me, Nik. In every way a person can be saved.”

“You were lucky. That she came along and gave you all of that. That I…”

“What? You want to be thanked? For bringing her to my doorstep? You think I should be on my hands and knees? Vowing lifelong servitude to you?”

“I never…”

“I don’t know what I would have done; if I’d come out of that coma and found out she was dead. Or that she’d just taken off. But she WAS there. And sometimes I wonder if that pisses you off. Because I didn’t need you as much as you wanted me to.”

“I never expected things to go any further between us, Tyler. We had both agreed on that; it was purely physical and would always be that way. I accepted that. And I’ve said it myself many times; how much she changed you for the better. That I think she’s the best thing that ever happened to you. Before Esme, your entire life fit inside a little cardboard box. You changed that.”

“No. SHE changed that. It was her. And I AM thankful. Because if you hadn’t brought her that day and it had been someone else, I doubt the outcome would have been the same.”

“It was meant to be. Your paths crossing. They may have passed in an unconventional way, but they still passed. I don’t need thanks for that.”

“And I appreciate what you did for her…for ME…after Dhaka. You were there for her. No questions asked. She was scared and she was alone and you stepped up and made sure she was taken care of. When all those doctors were trying to bully her into pulling the plug, you helped her fight back; fought with her to get the care I needed. So thank you. For making sure she was okay. Protecting her. Until I was able to do it again.”

“I didn’t do it for thanks. Or praise. I did it because I care about her. About BOTH of you.”

“Well, you certainly have a hell of a way of showing it. ‘Cause all that good you did? It means shit now. Why, Nik? Why did you lie to me? You knew how desperate I was to find her. All those promises you made, all those times you told me that you were helping me. It was all bullshit. Why? Why did you do it? I would never betray you like that. EVER.”

“It wasn’t an easy decision. Keeping things from you. I didn’t enjoy doing it, Tyler. But I had my reasons.”

“And what were those? What did I ever do to you? What did I do that was so wrong that you’d lie to me like that? It fucking broke me when she left. And you knew where she was all along. You could have ended it; the pain that I was in. If you’d just…”

“Just what? Just told you where she was? I couldn’t do that. I made a promise to her. That I’d make sure she was taken care of. That I’d get her somewhere safe. And that’s what I did.”

“You could have at least told me that she was alive,” he argues. “ That she was okay and I didn’t need to worry. Do you know what it is like? Inside my head? All the horrible things I thought of? About how maybe someone grabbed her and was doing the most vile fucking shit to her? Just to get back at me? Or the times I thought she was dead? If you’d just told me that you had her stashed away and were looking out for her…”

“That wouldn’t have been enough for you. Don’t lie to me and say it would have been. I know you, Tyler. Just knowing she was alive wouldn’t have done a damn thing. You wouldn’t have given me a moment’s rest; you would have pestered and pestered until I finally caved in and told you where she was. And that would have defeated everything she was trying to do.”

Sighing, he looks down at the remains of his coffee; fingertips drumming against the side of the mug. The mental anguish is intense; a mixture of betrayal and heartache and brutal, harsh truth. It wouldn’t have been enough; simply knowing that Esme was alive and well and being kept safe. There was no way he could have simply sat back and kept quiet; instead relentlessly bullying and badgering until Nik finally caved and revealed Esme’s whereabouts. He would have shown up at The Continental and found his way through the front doors and to where she was being kept. And no matter how many men Winston had deployed to stop him, he would have fought and stabbed and shot his way through every single one.

“They would have killed you, Tyler. If I’d told you where she was and you showed up to take her away, The High Table would have made good on their threats. To make you pay for her mistake.”

“A mistake she made years before she ever met me. A mistake she was forgiven for. She was ex-communicated. Told to never come back here again. And she followed every damn rule and warning they gave her. It’s not her fault; that they changed their mind.”

“Unfortunately, when new powers took over, they looked into a lot of files. Found a lot of people that had been let go instead of punished. And Esme was one of them. It’s not fair and I don’t agree with it, but The High Table is beyond reason. They’re dangerous. And they’re not to be crossed. Had you shown up…”

“I would have done whatever I had to. To get her away from here. Away from THEM.”

“You wouldn’t have stood a chance. And Esme knew that. They used you to get to her. They knew if they threatened your life, she’d do what she was told. And that’s where I came in. She called me. I’d never heard her like that before. Not even after Dhaka. She was hysterical. Terrified. She needed a way out of Australia. Before you got back. To spare you.”

“Didn’t exactly spare me, did she. Considering what I went through. Coming home, finding her gone, finding that stupid fucking letter on my table.”

“Better that than dead. Yaz and I went and picked her up. Took her to my place for a week; until I could arrange somewhere safe in New York. I had to call in a lot of favours; for The Continental to even agree to harbour her. But it was the only choice I had. I knew I couldn’t do it all by myself; I didn’t have the manpower to go up against The High Table. And I couldn’t just stash her in a safe house and leave her there and hope for the best. I did what I had to. For her AND you.”

“And what about when she told you she was pregnant? You didn’t stop to think that I deserved to now? That I was going to be a dad? You know all about my past. Nik. About my boy. You didn’t stop to think I’d want to know that I had a baby on the way?”

“I told her to call you. Or to at least let ME call you. Just to tell you about the baby. But she knew you’d track her down; that there was no way you wouldn’t show up. And that would have made everything she’d done completely useless. It would have put that target back on you. And she didn’t want that.”

“What about after? When the smoke cleared? When there was no longer a threat and she was free? You didn’t think of telling me then?”

“She asked me not to. She made me promise. Millie was almost a year old; already walking and starting to talk. Esme was scared; that you’d be so angry and hurt that you’d want nothing to do with her. Or the baby. It wasn’t one of my best decisions; caving in and going along with it.”

He scoffs. “That’s an understatement.”

“Don’t think it was easy for me, Tyler. To keep all of that from you. That it didn’t hurt to lie to you. To keep your child a secret. Because I hated myself for it. Hurting you like that. I still do.”

“I deserved to know. That Esme was alive. And I definitely deserved to know that I had a daughter out there. She’s four, Nik. Look at everything I’ve missed. I wasn’t even there for her. While she was pregnant. I didn’t even get the chance to be.”

“I was there. So was Yaz. She was never alone. We made sure of it; that she and Millie were taken care of. Before AND after.”

“It wasn’t up to you. It wasn’t just some baby. It was MY baby.”

“Can’t you stop and realize that by doing what I did for them, I was also doing it for you? That I had your best interests at heart as well? Tyler…”

“My best interest would have been knowing about my daughter. And being with her mother.”

“Which couldn’t happen. Esme asked me to keep it a secret. And I gave her my word.”

“And you just let four years go by.? How much longer would you have kept Millie’s existence from me? Another year? A couple? A few? Forever?”

“It wasn’t up to me to tell you. And I could only badger Esme so much; when it came to her getting a hold of you. Until she was ready to reach out and let you know, my hands were tied.”

“We’re friends, Nik. Or at least I thought we were. But you keep something like THAT from me? That I was a dad? How do you excuse that? How…?”

“It wasn’t my secret to tell. I gave Esme my word. I promised my silence. And I wasn’t going to betray her trust. Not even for you.”

The hurt and the anger lay simmering on the surface; Nik’s words laced with the harsh and unforgiving truth. He knows it makes sense; both Esme's original decision and the fears she’d harboured about contacting him when the danger had finally passed. But it’s a hard pill to swallow; his pride wounded at the reality that he’d become the protectee instead of being the protector. A fragment of the toxic masculinity that has yet to fully shed; the acknowledgment that he would have met his demise at the hands of The High Table leaving him feeling weak and ‘less than a man’. It’s foolish of course; even the toughest and the strongest need a helping hand from time to time. And while he can forgive Nik for the initial months following Esme’s disappearance, he remains unsure if he can extend it further than that.

******

He opens his mouth to respond but finds himself interrupted; a soft click of one of the doors, followed by Millie stepping out of her room. Messy-haired and blurry-eyed, a pout curving her lips; Posie tucked under an arm and Fredrick dangling from her hand. Initially oblivious to Tyler’s presence and immediately padding towards Nik; giving a sleepy whimper before wrapping both arms around her Aunt’s legs.

“The princess awakes,” Nik greets, and scoops the little one up into her arms; a hand on the back of the four-year-old’s head as she presses a series of kisses to her temple. “My grumpy girl. My grumpy, grumpy girl. Did you sleep well? Is it a right side of the bed morning or a wrong side of the bed one?”

Tyler watches them together; Nik gentle and attentive as she listens to Millie’s whining and grumbling and her long, drawn-out tales of the good dreams she’d managed after falling back asleep. And he notices a softness to his old friend that he’d never witnessed before; different from the care and compassion she’d shown him while in the hospital after Dhaka. Her face and eyes glowing with a mix of tenderness and adoration and her voice much quieter than usual; an even and soothing tone that easily comforts Millie. The latter smiling sleepily as he lays cradled in her aunt’s arms.

“I used to hold you like this all the time,” Nik says. “ Do you remember? It was your favourite way to nap. And every time I would try and put you down, you’d wake up and be so angry with me and I’d have to start all over again. You’re getting too big for it now. Way too long. Soon I won’t be able to do it at all.”

Millie reaches up with one hand to play with the ends of Nik’s hair. “Remember when you used to tuck me in? And you’d snuggle with me and sing me that song? That one in French?

“Au clare de la lune. That was your favourite. And I would stroke your nose like this.” She drags a fingertip down the bridge and then softly traces each nostril. “Over and over again. Until you fell asleep.”

“I miss that song. And snuggling with you.”

“We’ll have to snuggle again very soon. And I’ll sing to you. You know, I used to sing that same song to your Uncle Yaz when he was a little boy. He loved it too. I should teach you the words and then we can surprise him. Sing it for him. Sound good?”

“Sounds good. I miss him. I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“It’s really only been a few weeks. But he’s been away doing work for me in another country. But he’ll be here soon; only a couple more hours to wait. I’m not supposed to spoil things, but he just may be bringing some goodies..”

“For me? Goodies for ME?”

“Just for you.” Smiling down at Millie, Nik runs a hand over her hair and presses a kiss to her brow.. “You are so very loved, little one. By so many people. Don’t you ever forget that, okay?”

The four-year-old giggles when her aunt brushes the tip of her nose against hers. “Okay.”

“But for now, I have to stop being so selfish. And hogging you all for myself. Someone else wants to say good morning to you.”

Tyler approaches as Millie glances his way; little hand shoving her messy hair out of her eyes and the sleepy pout replaced by a broad, brilliant smile. His heart has never felt so full; that beautiful and bright-eyed little girl filling the deepest and darkest of recesses that not even her mother had been able to reach. And now every one of Abuela’s words the day before hit harder than ever; he once again has purpose and reason and people who depend on him outside of the job. It’s his initiative to finally walk away; fully immerse himself in a regular career and a life of being a partner and a father. And it takes all he has not to succumb to the emotions surging through him; managing a shaky smile as he runs a palm over his little girl’s hair and scoops her up into his arms.

“Tyler!” That tiny body moulds against his so perfectly; tiny arms circling his neck and her lips meeting an unshaven cheek. “I missed you!”

“It hasn’t been that long since you last saw me.”

“Long enough! I had a really good sleep. After you tucked me in. You’re really good at it! I couldn’t even move my arms or my legs! Which means the monsters couldn’t get to them! Can you tuck me in again? Tonight?”

“Your momma might be upset. If she doesn’t get to do it. She’s been doing it since you were just a baby.”

“Maybe she can tuck me in first, and then you can do it again. Just in case. We don’t want to hurt her feelings. Wait a sec…” She pulls back to study his attire. “...how come you’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday? Didn’t you pack enough clean stuff?”

“I haven’t been to my room yet. To change.”

“You slept in your clothes?”

“Some of them.”

“Did you sleep with momma? In her bed?”

“Maybe…”

“That means you’re going to have babies. That’s what happens when you sleep in the same bed. That’s how babies are made, you know. You and momma are going to have babies and I’m going to be a big sister.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We’re a long way away from stuff like that.”

‘But wait…” Millie chews thoughtfully on her bottom lip. “...WOULD I be a big sister? If you and momma have babies and the babies and I don’t have the same dad…”

Noisily clearing her throat, Nik stares at him pointedly.

“You’d still be a big sister,” he assures her, although it hurts like hell; not being able to tell her the truth. But it isn’t the right time; too much has happened in the past four days and the last thing Millie needs is life-altering news dropped in her lap. “ You’d still have the same mum.”

“I hope you guys have babies. I’d LOVE to be a big sister. Although I don’t know if I wanna share momma with too many people.”

“You’ll share with me, yeah?”

“I already am! I’m cool with that. We can keep sharing her forever if you want. Are we going to go for breakfast? I want to have pancakes again. They’re really good. Maybe you can get pancakes again too and you can try the strawberry jam on them this time.”

‘I will take you for pancakes. And your mum. But first, I really need clean clothes. And a shower. I probably stink.”

Placing her face against his neck, Millie inhales deeply. “You’re not that smelly!”

“Not THAT smelly? So you’re saying I AM smelly? Just a bit?”

She holds her thumb and index finger a half inch apart. “Just a bit.”

“How about you let Tyler go and get cleaned up,” Nik suggests, and reaches for the four-year-old. “And you go and get mom up.”

“I want to go with Tyler. I wanna see his room. I only ever see this one. Can I?” Millie places a hand on his cheek and turns his face towards her. “Go with you? Please? I’ll just hang out and play games on your phone while you get ready. I won’t be any trouble.”

“Something tells me you’re all kinds of trouble,” he chides, and lightly pinches and tickles her stomach. “Like your mum.”

“We’re little but mighty! That’s what mom always says. That we may be small, but we can kick big time ass!”

“Speaking of kicking ass, will your mum kick mine if I take you somewhere without telling her first? Or asking permission?”

“She won’t mind. You’re her boyfriend. She trusts you. And she loves you. She knows you’ll take good care of me. You won’t let anything bad happen.”

“Not in a million years,” he vows, and presses a kiss to her temple.

“I’ll wake Esme,” Nik says, as she follows them to the door. “Let her know where Millie is. And the plans for breakfast.”

“You should come too,” Millie suggests, as she leans sideways and gives her Aunt a farewell kiss. “Have pancakes with us.”

“You know I’m more of a crepes kind of girl.”

“Oh, Auntie Nik…” She heaves a heavy, dramatic sigh. ``....that’s sooo disappointing.”

“You’re just a little monkey, you know that? As tempting as breakfast with my favourite niece sounds…”

“I’m your ONLY niece.”

“...I’ve got things to do. Before Uncle Yaz goes here. But maybe he and I can steal you away at dinnertime. Would that be okay with you?”

“It would be A-okay.”

“You have fun, ma douce fille.” Laying a hand on the top of Millie’s head, Nik kisses one cheek, then the other. “You be good for your…” She abruptly catches herself. “...for Tyler.”

“Always! I’m a delight.”

“Yes, you are. And Tyler…” Nik catches him by the arm before he can step out into the hall.. “I AM sorry. But I did the right thing. For all of you. And I’d do it again. In a heartbeat.”

*****

Millie sits outside the bathroom as he showers; leaning back against the wall with her legs stretched out and one foot crossed over the other. Content with both watching youtube kids on his phone and asking a million questions through the crack in the door.

“Tyler?!”

“Yeah?”

“What do you think is better? Tacos or spaghetti?”

“I’m a carb guy. Spaghetti.”

“I love both. But I’m a taco girl. Like momma. Have you ever had spaghetti tacos?”

“Can’t say I have. And I’m not sure if I ever want to try them.”

“Oh my god, they’re so good! Momma makes them every Saturday night. For dinner. You get the taco shell and you put the spaghetti in it and then you put the smelly feet cheese on it.”

“Stinky feet cheese?”

“The white stuff. You know, that you sprinkle on spaghetti.”

Grinning, he turns off the shower and runs his hands over his face; clearing water from his eyes. “You mean parmesan?”

“Yeah! Stinky feet cheese! Momma taught me that. ‘Cause it might taste good, but it smells like stinky feet.”

“Your mum’s a bit weird.”

“But you love her anyway, right?”

“Always. No matter how weird she might get as she gets older.”

“What about toast?” Millie inquires. “ Do you like toast?”

“I do.”

“What would you rather put on it? Jam or peanut butter?”

“Neither. Vegemite.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s something we have in Australia. That you can put on your toast. You can put it on anything you want, really. Bread, waffles, steak.”

‘What’s it taste like?”

“That’s hard to explain. Kinda strong. Kinda salty. Your mum hates it.”

“When did momma try it? How did she try it? She’s been to Australia?”

“She spent some time there. Before you were even a twinkle in her eye.”

�� She’s been to your house?”

“Not the house I have now, but…”

“Were you her boyfriend? Before I ever came along? I asked momma but…”

“What did she say?”

“I don’t think she was telling me the truth. She said that you weren’t. That you were just a friend. But I could tell she was fibbin’. Were you? Her boyfriend? You can tell me. I won’t tell her you did.”

“Your mum and I…” Tyler chooses his words carefully, knowing full well that despite her promise, Millie will likely go back to her mother with even more questions. And an axe to grind about why she wasn’t told the truth in the first place. “...we were together for a bit.”

“How long is a bit?”

“Almost a year.”

“That’s a long time! You lived together?”

“At my old place, yeah.” He leaves out the rest. No details about her mother sticking by his side through his coma and his months-long hospital stay and the subsequent long and arduous healing process after he was released. And certainly nothing related to their long-term plans; the purchasing of a house and the talk of marriage and children. Coughing up just enough information to satisfy Millie’s rampant curiosity.

“Where was that?”

“A few hours from where I live now.”

“Where though? Like what’s the name of the city?”

“The Kimberley.”

“What city do you live in now? Where are we gonna call home?”

“Broome.”

“Is it near the beach? Momma said Australia has a lot of really nice beaches. And I LOVE the beach. I wanna go to the beach. Do you think we could go? Is it close by?”

“We can go as much as you want. Only about a fifteen-minute walk.” Vigorously scrubbing at his hair with a towel, he wraps another around his waist before opening the door and peeking out into the hallway). “You alright?”

“I’m alright.”

“What’cha doing?”

“Watching Bluey. Do you know who Bluey is?”

“No.”

“I love Bluey! Momma and I watch him together every morning after breakfast. Maybe we can all watch him together today.”

“Maybe. Right now, could you do me a favour? Can you close your eyes? So I can come out there and get some clothes on?”

“What? You don’t want me to see your bare bum? It’s just a bum. We all have them.”

“If you don't want nightmares for the rest of your life, you’d close your eyes.”

“It can’t be that bad! But okay….” Millie gives a dramatic sigh. “...my eyes are closed.”

Stepping out into the hall, he heads to the sleeping area; quickly drying off the last of his body before slipping into boxer briefs and a pair of cargo pants. And when he gives permission for her to open her eyes, she comes bounding into the room; immediately throwing herself into the middle of the king-sized bed. Giggling as she bounces up and down on her rear and then reaching for a pillow; punching and slapping it into its preferred comfort level before placing it against the headboard and leaning back against it.

“You have more tattoos! Lots more! Those are really cool! Did you get ANY of them in jail?”

“No. I had them all before that.”

The four-year-old’s eyes widen. “You’ve been in jail?”

“Briefly.”

“What did you go to jail for?”

“I got caught. Hurting a bad guy.”

“Did you kill him?”

“Just a little.”

“How’d you do it?”

“That you don’t need to know.”

“How’d you get out? Did you escape? Are you on the run?”

“Where do you learn these kinds of things? I know your mum isn’t teaching you.”

“Sometimes I sneak out into the living room when mom is watching Law and Order. I hear things. Don’t tell her? Please? I’m supposed to be asleep when I do it. I don't want to get in trouble.”

“Your secret is safe with me. Besides, snitches get stitches.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means people who rat on others get themselves into big trouble. They get messed up. And need stitches.”

“Ratting is like tattling on someone?”

“Exactly like it.”

“There’s this girl at school that tattles on me. All the time! Because I say bad words. I can’t help it, you know. Sometimes they just slip out. Uncle Yaz says I know two languages; English and profanity.”

“I can’t believe you even know that word. Profanity.”

“I’m a smart cookie. Like momma. I also get tattled on ‘cause I beat up people sometimes. But not good people. Bad people. Just like you hurt bad people.”

‘What makes them bad?”

“They’re bullies. They pick on the younger kids and the ones that are much smaller. And the ones that can’t fight for themselves. Like the kids with special needs. Momma says to always defend them especially. To hit first, talk later, if I have to. So that’s what I do.” Millie shrugs. “I hit. And really hard. I broke two noses, you know. Not the same person. Two different people.”

“What happened?” He slips into a simple black tee. “When you did that?”

“I had to go to the principal’s office. And they called momma. Momma had to pretend to be really disappointed in me and she had to lie when she told them that she’d talk to me and punish me. But then when we left she took me for ice cream and to feed the ducks in Central Park. And she told me she was proud of me. For standing up for people who couldn’t stand up for themselves.”

“Your mum is a pretty amazing lady, you know that?”

“She’s the best mom EVER. If I had to pick my mom out of all the moms in the world, I’d still pick her. We have a lot of fun together. And there’s lots of love in our house. Momma makes sure of it.”

“You’re a lucky girl. Having the mum you do.”

“She is the bestest.” Millie leans back against the pillow and wayward strands of hair out of her eyes. “Tyler, can I ask you a question?”

“Better than anyone I know.”

“Do you have kids? ‘Cause you’re really good with them. You never get annoyed with me; when I ask you tons of things. And you don’t lose your patience and you don’t get angry and yell. You must have kids.”

“I DID have a kid. I had a little boy.”

“What did you mean ‘had’? You don’t have him anymore? Where is he? With his momma?”

“No. He got really sick. When he was a little boy. And unfortunately, he passed away.”

“He got sick? Like cough due to cold?”

“Something very serious. That doctors couldn’t fix.”

“How old was he?”

“Six. Not much older than you are right now.”

“You and his momma must have been really sad. When he died. What was his name?”

“Austin.”

“I like that name. It’s a good name. Maybe I’ll name my next teddy that. And then you can cuddle it when you’re sad and that way, you can feel closer to your little boy.”

“That would be really awesome of you. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry that he died. I’m sorry it makes your heart sad. I’m sorry…”

“Hey…hey…” Hooking a finger under her chin, he tilts her head up towards him. “...don’t cry. There’s no reason to. It’s a good thing; to talk about him. Even if it does make my heart hurt a bit. You got a lot of feelings in that little body, don’t ya. Just like your mumma.”

“Do you think he would have liked me? Do you think we would have been friends?”

“I think he would have loved you. How could he not?” He glances towards his cell phone as it vibrates from its spot on the table by the window; unable to control the smile that spreads from ear to ear at the sight of Esme’s name splashed across the screen. And it scoops it up just as it reaches the third ring. “Hey.”

‘Hey.” Her voice is laced with sleep. And contentment. “How’re things going? She behaving?”

“Always. She’s keeping me entertained.”

“I bet. She’s probably asked you a million and one personal questions by now. By the way, I’ve got a bone to pick with you. You didn’t stick around to say ‘good morning’.”

“I didn’t have the heart to wake you up. But good morning.”

“I don’t mean THAT way. I mean the OTHER way. You know, the one that doesn’t involve words?”

Tyler grins. “You mean your favourite wake-up call. How rude of me; not sticking around for THAT.”

“Nothing like an Australian kiss from my favourite Aussie.”

“Aren’t I the only Aussie you know?”

“Technically. Doesn’t mean you can’t be my favourite.”

“Your logic is…astounding. I’ll make it up to you.”

‘You bet your hot Australian ass, you will. Did you sleep good? I almost checked to see if you were breathing when I got up around four to pee. I don’t think you moved an inch after you drifted off.”

“Best sleep I’ve had in years. You?”

“Same. It was nice. Having you in bed with me again. I missed it.”

“So did I. We’ll get to do more of it. Very soon.”

“I hope so. Well…” She yawns. “... I just thought I’d call and make sure Millie wasn’t driving you up the wall.”

“She never could. We’ll be back in a bit. Give you a chance to shower and…”

He catches it out of the corner of his eye; a brief yet blinding flash as sunlight grabs hold of something metallic in an open window across the street. Both jaw and stomach clenching at the sight of a figure -clad in black- hunched over a rifle; their eye pressed to the scope as the barrel rests upon the weathered sill. And he glances back at Millie; completely oblivious to the danger that’s unfolding around her. Her messy hair perfectly framing her face as she watches another episode of her favourite show; giggling at the main character’s antics as she happily wriggles her toes. And then he sees it; the red dot that glows open the headboard just mere inches from her shoulder

His instincts kick into high gear; years spent in the military and on the job completely taking hold of him. Tossing the phone onto the table, he crosses the room in two long strides; no words spoken as he abruptly scoops his daughter up into his arms just as the first bullet pierces the window and then slams into the headboard. A second round following almost immediately; narrowly missing his head before it embeds itself in the wall. He attempts to make it to the door but the sniper’s rifle is quickly replaced by machine gun fire; shattering every window and destroying items within the room. Struggling to keep hold of Millie as her fight or flight response kicks in; screaming in sheer terror as she kicks and fails with the strength of two grown men. 

Amidst the continuous parade of bullets, he clutches her even tighter to his chest, and dropping to his knees behind the half wall that separates the head of the bed from the living area, he aggressively forces her down onto her side. One hand grabbing the back of both her knees and pushing them up into her chest; telling her to stay exactly where and how she is; the fetal position both a source of protection and comfort.  And it isn’t until he covers her body with his own that she finally stops fighting; her face bright red and her entire body soaked in sweat as she continues to wail and tears pour down her cheeks.

“Make it stop! Tyler! Make it stop!”

‘It’s alright…” Covering her ears with his palms, he presses his front against her back; pushing her further into the floor. “...it’ll be over soon…it’ll all be over soon…”

“Tell them to leave us alone! Tell them to go away!”

“Just breathe, Millie,” he orders. “ Just breathe.” Pressing his cheek against hers, he offers endless words of comfort and reassurance; mentally counting off the rounds and praying that once finished, the shooter won’t stop to reload. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. You’re safe. Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

Her hysterical shrieking and blabbering give way to sobbing, her entire body trembling by the force and power of her fear. And he feels the warmth against him; a spreading puddle of urine that soaks the front of his shirt and the carpet below. And when the gunfire stops and the room falls silent, he’s suddenly aware of his own fear; the thundering of his heart within his chest and the beads of perspiration that have gathered at his temples and the nape of his neck and the burn of bile in the back of his throat. And he waits for several minutes as a precaution; continuing to cover Millie’s tiny frame with his own in case another assault is launched.

Silence.

He initially pushes himself up onto his knees and then falls back onto his ass; feeling exhausted as both pure terror and adrenaline begin to leave his body. Using a forearm to clear sweat off his brow, he picks Millie up; feeling her urine-drenched pyjamas and the quaking of her body as little arms circle his neck as she collapses against him. And his eyes close as he repeatedly smooths a hand over her hair; praising her for being brave and strong while pressing a series of kisses to her cheek and temple.

“It’s okay…you’re okay, Millie. It’s over now. It’s all over.”

“What if they come and find us?” She speaks between breathless sobs. “What if they come for us and kill us?”

“No one is coming for us,” he assures her, a palm cradling the back of her head as he kisses her cheek. “You’re safe now. No one is going to hurt you. It’s done. It’s all done.”

“You promise?”

“I promise. There’s no more bad guys. They’re gone. They’re all gone.”

Taking a deep, quivering breath, she relaxes against him; head on his shoulder as she shoves a thumb into her mouth.

Leaning back against the wall, Tyler once more closes his eyes; fingers continuously moving through her hair in an attempt to further soothe her. “Everything’s alright now. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

For several minutes, they remain motionless and silent. Tears pouring down Millie’s face as she sucks aggressively at her thumb and he attempts to catch his breath.

[angel-babycakes]

Vent post V2

*mocking voice* “Its painful but like it’s such a good (insert topic) it’s made me cry omg🥹🫶” I DONT FUCKING CARE I SERIOUSLY DONT FUCKING CARE ANYMORE LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD I HATE IT HERE!!!!! Okay so like…when you hear people mention something that bugs you on a grand scale, it’s understandable to be upset but it pisses me off when people try to force something you hate down on you cause “omg it’s so good” I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK I HATE I THINK IT FUCKING SUCKS ACTUALLY ESPECIALLY IF ITS BY A PERSON I FUCKING LOATHE GREATLY!!!!!

I’m allowed to not give a fuck about certain things, if it’s from someone I like or care about (friends/moots) then yes, I’ll get excited and praise them or like their work to show them off but the second I hear any mention of someone I can’t stand, I just feel like telling someone to shut up because why mention that person to me? “Oh but you were such good friends before!” YEAH BEFORE THEY BROKE MY TRUST AND STOMPED MY HEART OUT SO I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THEM AND THEIR SHIT!!! Same thing applies when a person I once considered close to me just slowly becomes distant and I want to cry but I suck it up and put on a smile and tell others that I’m okay even if others are distant with me and no one else will tell me why and it’s making me going insane and I keep thinking of negative thoughts and…

I’m tired of it all, even if I slowly get better, I just want to be happy and want to go back the way everything it was before I feel like I was a ghost in my own body.

But it’s not just that either it’s the mere fact that I’m like “oh yeah I can’t be a fucking bitch because you mentioned (insert ex-moot/ex-friend) here” due to either their art or writing and thing is, I try to remain positive and kind but when someone repeatedly tells me about it or throws it in my face I just think “I don’t give a fuck, stop mentioning it already for fucks sake” it’s kinda like writing something you love but it gets ruined cause it wasn’t tagged properly or it did something completely unexpected that you felt like you just got your heart stomped on. But again, I can’t say anything because it may seem “insensitive” or “mean” since I’m usually so nice and kind and understanding!!! Like yap yap yap JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP LIKE TELL ME SOMETHING I DO FUCKING LIKE OR CRAM IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!

Anyways I’m going to bed, I’m so fucking tired and needed to get this off my chest, but I’m so so FUCKING thankful for the people in my life who’ve kept me afloat this far.

[28whitepeonies]

I do see your point about Harry being as successful as he is thanks to the team behind him but I think he does have some say. Harry Lambert has said many many times (because Harries accuse him of forcing him to dress a certain way) that he picks clothes and designers based on Harry's taste. That he makes mere suggestions and isn't pushy about it. Harry just says yes or no, and he has said no about stuff (Harry L said that). Ignoring Gucci, it's been mostly unknown lgbtq+ designers Harry has worked with. I think it's important because everything Harry wears sells out. Harris Reed even credited his success to Harry. It was the Vogue dress that brought attention to him. He said it was Harry's decision to do it. Yes Harry gains from it too but he could easily choose to work with mostly straight brands like Louis does. Many of Harry's supporting acts have been part of the lgbtq+ community. Books, music, movies he mentions. Even the author of the MP book thanked Harry for the increase in book sales. I don't think you can deny that Harry has helped lgbtq+ designers, artists and projects get recognized when the people themselves credit Harry for their success (many of them have). But having said that I do wish he was more vocal about the lgbtq+ community but I think the reason he isn't is because he's obviously in the closet. As for sacking LOT members, I thought there was good reasoning behind it? One of them made a racist comment and another upset the other members.

Anon I didn’t say Harry didn’t have choices, I said that the majority of his excellent fashion choices were down to Harry Lambert, his stylist. While Harry S of course chooses which clothes to wear, Harry L curates his wardrobe with help from Molly who puts together the brief that Harry L works from. I think it’s pretty obvious from Harry’s previous choices that Harry L and Molly have really had an impact on making his aesthetic a lot more interesting.

I’m sorry but this thing about designers is also fundamentally untrue - prior to Gucci, Harry wore YSL almost exclusively for years. He regularly wears other big brands including: Bode, Prada, Lanvin, Celine, Marc Jacobs, Balenciaga, Bottega Veneta, Burberry, Maison Margiela, Erdem, Jean, Paul Gaultier, Commes de Garcons, JW Anderson. Also, wtf is a ‘straight brand’.

He has of course previously worn custom Harris Reed, but Harris Reed while unknown, at the time, comes from a wealthy, privileged background full of industry connections. He also has terrible employment practises himself.

Harry causing some people to make more money through little to no effort does nothing to negate the active choices he makes which harm workers.

Harry is a millionaire, who has engaged in racist behaviour and who upholds racist systems so I think you can understand why Harry sacking someone for something he himself does might be an issue - feel free to come back and specify if it’s something I’m missing about a band member but I don’t actually know what you’re referring to.

I dunno who you mean that ‘upset other members’ but that’s super vague, if you wanna provide more info go ahead. Adam and Charlotte were both members of the band who weren’t paid during covid and then sacked in circumstances that they clearly were not expecting and in a way that totally fucked up their income streams.

[empyreanpaws]

My Experience With: Tales of Glade's Glory

DISCLAIMER: do not harass the blog or the members of this wcrp; names are redacted for the sake of anonymity (though in this instance, it isn't hard to figure out...); this is a review, my personal experience, and an informational post

CONTENT WARNING: discourse, basically a hate crime despite it being "fictional" (it's the representation of one and has since been treated as less than), disrespect of religion, constant harassment, unfair treatment, pushing of a radical anti-cop/government agenda (i hate 'em too but c'mon, keep it out of there), will add more if requested

If any of the above makes you uncomfortable, please don't proceed. Through the content warning and tags alone, I'm sure you can infer what my experience was like.

Honestly, this has been a long time coming. I can't remember when it happened exactly, but it's been a few months since I've been in this particular wcrp. I should've voiced this sooner, but I'll be frank: I didn't because I have friends in there that genuinely enjoy the other aspects of the roleplay; I didn't want to ruin something they loved. Still, it needs to be said, so I can warn others in advance and finally get over this hurdle.

Tales of Glade's Glory is a roleplay that arose in the wake of the discontinued Chasing The Sun. It involved members from ShadowClan who collaborated together by suggesting ideas and making votes. This system was by far one of the most fun and fair ones I've ever experienced in a roleplay, but as soon as the Developers decided they could not be voted out (a decision they made themselves, not others), I knew things would end terribly.

I have a document that explains most of what I wanted to say in this post, regarding the democratic-like system the roleplay was meant to have, the hate crime in question, and the constant harassment I've dealt with for months. Again, names are redacted for the sake of anonymity, and the audience was for the other members of the server (hence why it seems like I'm talking to a specific set of people). The catalyst for this document's creation was receiving a strike upon voicing my discomfort within the server about two cats (mentioned in the document) that only realize hurting others is wrong after they murder someone, a plotline they allowed to continue because they "didn't want to stop plots from happening". Here is the document:

I'm not bashing on dark roleplays; I love to dabble in them myself. The problem was that this roleplay wasn't meant to be dark, and thus this incident came as a shock to many. I know others who were uncomfortable with the situation and someone who is devout in their faith who found the whole thing incredibly offensive and disturbing. If this had been a roleplay with darker themes, if we would've been warned in advance about what would be included and allowed in the roleplay, I wouldn't be this worked up. I'm incredibly upset because unsuspecting members were subjected to this situation without their consent. As I hear it, the situation continues to be up for debate, continuing to brew discomfort and stress, with no closure in sight. It's disappointing and, dare I say it, disgusting. I'd hate for newcomers to be dragged into that mess.

Addressing the radical anti-cop/government agenda, Dev1 seems to push these views into the roleplay and it can't be refuted. Their website includes a new set of rules regarding this and the person that began this whole disaster was not given a punishment (or it was a mere slap on the wrist, who knows). I haven't read much of it, if at all, and I think complex political issues in the real world should not be forced into a roleplay (unless that's the literal theme and has consent from everyone). I'm not going to sit here and talk about my own views and who I vote for in elections, but I understand the corruption of our government and how it's affected others. Still, my point stands. Roleplays should be free of strife, they're meant to be enjoyed and a place for others to distract themselves from the real world, not have it shoved back down their throat without being allowed to voice their own opinion. It was nearly like we had to adopt these ideals ourselves lest we suffer unjust consequences.

I can't even begin to hope they'd change. If anything, it'll just keep getting worse until they inevitably crumble. In a form of some "dark humor", I call it the WCRP Curse: they're all destined for drama, strife, and ends. As much as I'm working on my own projects, I don't think even I can break this curse. I guess we'll see who does, huh?

Writing all of this and remembering has truly made me feel sick. I've honestly decided to make this a series where I write my experiences in other roleplays, to provide suggestions or to warn others. I don't think I'll accept requests to join roleplays just to scope them out for others, or at least, not at the moment. At the end of the day, this is all about fictional talking cats, and yet it's affected me very badly. My last bit of advice is to speak out when someone is doing something wrong. Share your experience. You're not alone, and it can make a difference.

Also, this isn't for others to "respond" to. I'm literally sharing what I've experienced and how I feel. Do not reblog this and try to justify any of their actions. If you don't like it, block me and go away.

Recommend/Suggest?: No

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆ (0/5)

[oceanicxeyes]

It wasn’t that Walter was UPSET, because he wasn’t. Very few things in that world made him upset or even lose his temper – and the brief exchange with Gabriel had not been it. He understood the other man. One day he was on the streets without eating, without a shower and without a place to sleep – and the next he was being offered a place to stay. Of course, his guard would be up. Of course, he would be suspicious of him because people aren’t usually good. There are exceptions, yes – but most of them were just self-centered idiots that did not care about the well-being of others. Walter could understand the quips and the jabs sent his way. It was a defense mechanism to make light of the circumstances, to keep people at an arm’s length so that if they decided to dismiss Gabriel and sent him packing, it wouldn’t hurt as much. He no longer dared to hope for anything more because the world was a terrible place filled with terrible people. So no – Walter was definitely not upset about their little exchange. But he was thinking. Did he really pass that image of being too naïve? Of being too trusting? Was there even a thing as being too trusting? All he wanted to do was make a difference, big or small in the world. He wanted to save his people and guarantee that others would not suffer the weight of loneliness that he had endured over the last century. His own kind was dying out. The world was dying out. He needed to do something, anything that would make a change, whether it was in the world or someone else’s life. Because if he couldn’t change the smallest of things… then why bother to try to save his dying kind? Why even make the effort to try to change what could not be changed? Why was he even trying at all? And that would mean that all of his life – two centuries and a half – had been a complete and utter waste of time. Because once hope was gone – only despair would remain. And with despair came anguish and sorrow and pain and sooner rather than later, the entropy would settle in and he would merely stop living – only to just exist. So… was being too trusting a bad thing? Did it… really make him look that desperate and pathetic? And then Gabriel was… saying he was sorry. Explaining his actions – which honestly Walter could see it took a lot of guts – but those were unnecessary. The siren knew Gabriel haven’t been rude on purpose. He merely stated a fact that made him think about things. Walter could not fault him for being suspicious or not knowing where he stood. Gabriel had been all that time in a state of alert – expecting the worst in people because that’s all they ever showed him. Of course, showing some degree of kindness would make him weary and suspicious. Of course, he would lash out despite not fully intending to because that was his defense mechanism. If he kept people at bay, he wouldn’t feel bad when they eventually disappointed him again. “You don’t have to be sorry for anything.” Walter chuckled and shook his head, his smile slowly returning to his features as he hesitated for a moment before reaching out to rub Gabriel’s shoulder, making sure that he was touching the fabric of his shirt and not his skin. “I get it. It’s been rough and you aren’t sure if I am to be trusted. I completely understand.”

Because he did understand. He had seen it plenty of times before. And trust was not something easily given. It had to be earned. It had to be cultivated like a flower. “No – don’t worry about the kitchen.” It was a good thing that the subject had changed to something less heavy, which instantly made Walter’s posture relax, even though he had no idea why he was so tense to begin with. “I’ll take care of that once I’m up. The dishes aren’t going anywhere.” And then came the mention of his blanket – Walter had noticed it before but didn’t said a word because he really wasn’t bothered by it – his smile growing even more at how precious Gabriel was actually being about the whole thing. To Walter, it was something so normal and mundane to just grab a blanket to cover themselves but to Gabriel it meant so much more. Like he had taken something precious from him and needed to justify his actions so that he wouldn’t be upset. Why would he be upset over a blanket? Some people would – but those were idiots. “I have a spare in my closet.” Walter chuckled and ran his fingers over his hair. In all honesty, it was probably his fault to begin with because he had forgotten about it when he made the bed. His eyebrows arched up at the mention of them spending time together. Keeping other company now that he was home. Gabriel was saying that he couldn’t sleep easily now that he had eaten but Walter quickly rose a hand to stop the man’s speech without a second thought. “You are definitely NOT going to lay on the floor while we watch Youtube videos. You’re not a dog – and even a dog deserves a spot in bed.” Absolutely not. That was out of the question. “My bed is big enough for both of us to lay down and watch something. Just not cat videos.” Walter had a very complicated relationship with felines. It wasn’t that he didn’t like cats – he liked all animals – but part of him was weary of cats. Probably because he was part fish and cats ate fish and… well… yeah. “We can share my bed and if you feel yourself on the verge of falling asleep, either crash there or return to your bed.” Easy solution right? To Walter there was not much to do or say – to lay down in bed with another person while watching videos didn’t mean anything more than that. People did that, right? There wasn’t some hidden innuendo or double entendre in that invitation, was there? “Only if you are comfortable, of course. I just… don’t see the point of you laying on the ground when there’s a perfectly comfortable and large enough bed for two.”

Gabriel thought he was so clever, picking up cues that weren't there. That smug facade and casual 'check out' melted to see the shift in Walter's demeanor, and the otherwise silent leave of the table to feed the fish. The casual statement, manages to confuse a moment ago, confident drifter. "Well.. glad you don't do women. Good to be a self respecting man, I'm sure you're a real hit at the bar since you don't just take anybody home." Right over his head.

Still, there's something off. Guilt settled in the chest. The comments from his roommate shifted from wanting coffee, to dismissing it by the end. The brief window of vulnerability allows Gabriel a moment of clarity while looking down at his food, unable to move until he was finished with at least what he had on his plate. He needed to lower his guard a little bit, needed to try and show this did matter and it wasn't being taken for granted. The man had even texted him, gave him a stuffed animal, he had to make an effort to show it wasn't all for naught.

An elongated minute passes before rising from the table and walking over, hands anxiously shoved into sweat pant pockets- and if there were none, they'd be held behind his own back. "Uhm.." Body language is hesitant, and he's having a difficult time maintaining eye contact;"Listen mate.... I'm sorry. I- .." The brain can't come up with the words fast enough. He wasn't in a place mentally to be vulnerable in the sense of expressing ones emotions properly- but seeing the let down- woke him up to his own lack of gratefulness. "This is uh, new to me. All this. A lot to process. I'm sorry about taking a jab at ya like that. We don't know each other, and uh.. truth be told I was expecting you to send me out with breakfast... just.. now." Lips press thin, and a lump threatens to form in his throat; this conversation was very uncomfortable. "Uhh.. yeah, I'd love to uhm.. keep you company. If, if that's really alright?"

Gabriel is looking away, particularly down at the tank. He's stealing glances, and it's very clear he's actively trying to figure out how to navigate the conversation too. "I'll do better than I did today. But Walter, if you're serious. Thank you, and don't sweat it. I know you're looking out for me. Don't apologize." He then gives a firm poke on a clothed arm with a smile that's trying to look confident, but there's enough visible clues for the coyness to be notable;"Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna pretend we didn't just have that conversation about my living arrangements, deal?" He then casually gestures to the table, and manages to reach a point in the conversation where he can face head on, and maintain eye contact. "That was a damn good brekkie by the way. You want me to clean it up so you can get some rest?"

The makeshift bed then comes into view;"Oh.. yeah.. about your blanket.." Moving away, it's reached for, bundled in a large wad and he's attempting to hand it back;"I had a really bad nightmare, and I needed something heavy. I didn't mean to take it without asking. I uhm.. have a lot of trouble sleeping as you can imagine. Speaking of, I won't be able to crash too fast myself now that I've eaten. You want me to keep you company? I can come chill and lay on your floor and show you some cool YouTube videos?" Was it the proper course of action? Probably not, but did he want to make it up to them? Yes. Did he also want company now that Walter was home? Also, yes.

[valleynix]

What was the conversation Donna and Bela had after…. Yk.. the sad part.. and Bela trying to get some space away from reader (trying not to spoil)

so glad i wrote this in my notes because i was not going to remember 😭

anyway, so we know Bela shouted, “You KNEW??” which implies she definitely told Donna about her talk with Reader, to which her aunt was just, “Yes, I know. I’ve known for some time.”

Bela is reasonably upset. she doesn’t understand why she wasn’t told and why Donna, of all people, knew before she did when she’s more important in Reader’s life. right??

so, Donna explains. she tells her niece that learning what happened was unintentional and she does not know the full story. she saw what Reader did and tries to explain that part, but… that’s all she really knows for certain

and Bela laments that she didn’t know sooner, that it wasn’t fair. doesn’t Reader trust her? don’t they know how much she cares about them, how far she would go to keep them safe and happy??

Donna says that she understands why Reader held back on telling her, all things considered. between what they’ve gone through and how hard that alone would be to tell someone, she also mentions Bela’s own reaction and how quick she was to spill the secret that could very well get them killed if the wrong ears heard

what if she wasn’t already aware and was looking for a reason to “exile” Reader for potentially harming her family? Bela’s admission of what they did should be their own to tell, and she tries to explain that when her niece is upset again that Donna didn’t tell anyone

does she condone the action? no, she thinks it rather stupid. but she understands, and she implores Bela to think the same way. her fury is reasonable and she’s allowed to be upset, but that’s probably why Reader held back on telling her. they weren’t sure what her reaction would be

and that gets Bela to calm down a little and just… think straight. she does care deeply for them and doesn’t want to see them gone or hurt or anything, and Donna tells her she needs to say that to Reader

before she goes back upstairs, Bela quietly asked her, “Do you think it’s true? What happened?”

Donna tells her she does not know whether what they’ve seen and been through is merely a fabrication or if they’ve actually lived through all the horrible things she saw, but THEY believe it, and it’s causing disruption and harm in their life. that’s enough for her to treat it as though it is real and look for ways to help them, even if it might only be nightmares manifested

and… that’s pretty much it :3 Donna is like the logical thinker between the two when Bela gets a little emotional over something and can’t really think straight. she remained pretty neutral about both sides because she understands both; she knows why Bela is upset and angry, but she also knows why Reader kept it hidden as long as they did

[introspectral]

Mantis was really hopeful Vision’s pain could heal with time. She was hopeful because she witnessed it with the Guardians, with herself, every single day. All of them had been through pain, through loss, through trauma, fear, sadness, anger, despair, anxiety and loneliness. Mantis and her powers knew. And while the pain would never go away completely, they dared move forward. They moved forward tired, they moved forward complaining, they moved forward hurt - but they moved forward, and the empath grew more and more proud of them each day. They were trying to be heroes; light on ‘heroes’ with emphasis on ‘trying’. And maybe they weren’t. Maybe most people in the galaxy saw them as nothing more than flippant idiots, twisted reflections of what heroes were supposed to be, far too flawed to actually… well, guard the galaxy. Maybe they failed at being heroes, but Mantis knew what they were. Strong. Strong by themselves, stronger together. If they could heal from their pain, she liked to think anyone could. Even when the idea of healing felt like a mere illusion, dream or fantasy, clinging to that fantasy was enough to let the days pass and actually heal… painfully slowly, but surely. Vision was not lost.

Mantis nodded when Vision mentioned the idealistic becoming realistic. “Having an ideal of who you wish to be might only lead to frustration. The mind has a tendency to see what we lack rather than what we have. As long as you give yourself time, you should start to discover who you are naturally, perhaps by realizing what you like and what you don’t. You didn’t know you liked moths until this beauty decided it liked you.” She smiled when Vision thanked her for helping him find some mental clarity. Often, those around her seemed to turn to her for advice, as if she knew the meaning of life, while, at the same time, Mantis herself turned to Drax for advice. And Drax… thought he was invisible. Quite literally, he thought he possessed the power to become invisible. The notion amused her. It was something she loved about the universe and its people; no one knew what they were doing, but everyone was constantly turning to others for some enlightenment, and trying to help each other out. It was endearing, in a way.

She couldn’t help but squeal while petting the moth. “Why do insects have to be so cute? They are so very very cute! So very very…!” She cut herself off as her hand brushed against Vision’s, getting a flicker of what he was feeling. She touched his hand to get a better sense of it, closing her eyes to focus, antennae aglow. He… despised the color white? And she perceived all the reasons why. But he thought the moth was beautiful. Opening her eyes, she pulled her hand away, only then realizing that she had used her abilities on someone who was likely not okay with them. Someone who was recovering from feeling violated. She looked down, expression full of shame and guilt. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “The use of my power comes so naturally to me… Sometimes I don’t realize I’m reading others.”

Mantis never knew how impolite that sounded until she said it aloud. Maybe it was the result of a lifetime constantly reading Ego in his planet form to know if he was going to kill her that day after, perhaps, finding a way to ease his own temper, deeming her unnecessary. Or maybe… “I think it’s the easiest way for me to understand. I can read others like an open book, but not myself. I try to spend time alone to reflect, and I greatly benefit from being on my own because it allows my powers to rest, but I never seem to understand myself. Not as well as my powers allow me to understand others. However, that shouldn’t excuse it. I hope I didn’t upset you.”

__________

What she was saying made a lot of sense. Perfectionism would only lead to disappointment. On one level, Vision did understand that, but on another level, he almost felt panicky whenever he thought of not perfecting himself. He was not entirely sure why, either. In all of his memories, he remembered being very content with himself. Perfectionism was never something he struggled with. Instead, he made a lot of mistakes and misunderstandings, but saw them as learning opportunities or the result of understandable gaps in his knowledge. But now… he felt like a perfectionist all the time. This must be fixed, that must be changed… This must be different, that isn’t good enough… Every time he looked in the mirror, it was like he was viewing a damaged car in need of repairs. All he saw were flaws.

Mantis was right, though. Vision hadn’t known that he liked moths until this innocent little one decided that he was safe to land on and interesting to explore. Maybe he didn’t need to have everything lined up, planned, and figured out ahead of time. Maybe... one of the ways he would reclaim his sense identity, such as it was now, was through gradual discovery. But that would require patience and an acceptance that time would reveal all, which was not so easy for Vision to deal with.

It was honestly very difficult now for Vision to let go of micromanaging his life. In his previous incarnation, he had been so relaxed. Life happened to him, he didn’t grab it by the throat and force it into a certain size and shape box. But now, Vision felt the need to control everything about himself and his life, to know in advance, and for there to be no flaws, mistakes, or surprises. It was a side effect of trauma, of betrayal. He had trusted in others and in the greater good, and that had gotten him killed, horribly violated, and restructured against his will. The compulsive urge to have complete control over himself and his life was real because of all that trauma. However, that, he was realizing, was a wholly unrealistic way to live. He had to find a a way to relax as he had before.

When Mantis commented on insects being cute, Vision flew into informational mode. “Statistically speaking, at least for human beings, creatures that are diminutive in size and that possess a larger eye-to-body size ratio are perceived as... cuter.” He watched the moth for a moment before adding, “And the fact that moths neither bite nor sting likely also contributes to their favorable status among humans.”

Mantis touching first his arm and then his hand drew his attention there. Understanding that she did not view him in a condescending or mocking light, nor did she have any intent to harm or exploit him, fostered acceptance within him for her actions. He... did not mind her touch. Vision knew full well what she was doing, for he knew her powers, and so he held still as she gleaned whatever it was she wanted from him. When she suddenly pulled back, apologized, and began explaining why she had used her powers in the first place, Vision's head canted. “I took no offense,” he said simply. “There are very few people I would allow and trust to do what you just did, and you are one of them,” he reassured her. “Did you find what you were searching for?” he then asked, curious as to what she’d gleaned from him.

[alligatorjesie]

Here we are again for the next fucking installment of ‘Why would I, a harasser, be harassed by the people I’m harassing?'

Well ain’t that a fuckin mystery of the century.

Are you fucking daft? Did you fail school at grade 4? Do you not understand that your actions have consequences? You really can’t fucking figure out why anyone might tell you something like this?

  YOU @reylossaidwhat​?

With the blog that is dedicated to showing every anti out there these years old recipes of ‘bad reylos’ who have long been removed from the fandom your actively harassing thus causing shit out of fucking nothing.

And the only ask you’ve been bold enough to post is calling reylos ‘unhinged racist bitches’ and ‘fucked up people’

I suspect you might have others but since they probably have death threats in them you’re not bold enough to post those ones. Like they don’t prove my point over and fucking over.

The shit you’re doing isn’t helping anyone, you’re just causing more harassment in a fandom that already sees a lot of harassment. You’re only causing more harassment to Yourself, because I’m not blocking you any fucking time soon.

I’m fucking tired of seeing this shit in my fucking fandom and I’m doing more about it then you fucking are.

Why would anyone tell you something like ‘Your family is bleeding because of your actions’? Are you so fucking stupid you can’t understand why anyone in this fandom would be Begging you to stop? Do you think merely mentioning blood is implying they want you to bleed? You do fucking understand analogies right?

You know what, no I don’t think you fucking do. 

Let’s take a really short segway out of the topic at hand to clear this one up for you because you seem really fucking confused about the context of what was said here and if your more recent post proves anything is you don’t understand a lot of fucking things so lemme help you out here: This post isn’t implying Finn is like Snoke. I just don’t even fucking know were you got that implication. 

This post is implying that Ben doesn't like people touching Rey. 

Fuck me there could be a third image of the Queen of England, there is no relation to Finn and Snoke other than they touched Rey.

No one is comparing Finn to Snoke here. You’re a fucking moron.

Now back to the topic at hand:

This is a translation for one, so we can’t assume anything that was originally sent is even being directly translated. I’m not incredibly familiar with languages but this looks like Arabic? Not exactly known for it’s direct translations to English. Here, lemme show you:

Yeah, it’s not fucking exact.

And secondly, I’m not sure how the fuck you read this as anything else but a heartfelt plea to ask you to fucking stop.

You’re stressed out? Because some reylos are asking you to stop harassing them and their fandom? I was sent this anon a few weeks ago by an anti:

So you’re going to have to understand and I mean this with my whole heart;

I don’t give a fuck.

I don’t fucking care that your stressed out over reylos getting up in your shit because you were actively harassing them.

I get shit like this fucking weekly. I have been getting sent death threats since I was fucking 9, so I’m not sorry. I don’t care that you were stressed out over your own fucking actions during a time period EVERYONE WAS STRESSED OUT.

They could have been a lot meaner to you but instead they begged and fucking pleaded that you fucking stop. If this is causing you stress then try and deal with ACTAL DEATH THREATS EVERY WEEK FOR YEARS and see how fucking well that works for you.

You’re upset some reylos used some colorful language to ask you to stop harassing them? Get sent a few of these every week for 7 years straight for being in the reylo fandom or conversely your entire life for being in the furry fandom and come back to me:

You and You Alone have to power to stop this shit when the fuck ever.

An eye for a fucking eye mate.

Don’t want to be harassed? Stop harassing.

 It’s just that fucking simple.

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Possibilities [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Title: Possibilities Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Female!Reader Word count: 3k Published: 6 July 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Warnings: Mention of food and alcohol Summary: Tom and you have been friends for a long time and because of that same reason you value your friendship more than to ruin it with some silly feelings. But the event you attend together offers you some surprises that might change your relationship forever.

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Events, galas, award ceremonies. You weren't a popular actress nor a famous singer, or social media influencer. You had a simple 9-5 job that would hardly ever get you into these events. But regardless of your status in society, you were known and not because of any talent you possessed that could have made you famous, but because your best friend was none-other than Tom Hiddleston.

You have been friends for years, you adored everything about the man. He was sweet and kind, always polite, but just as playful. It was a friendship you felt lucky to be in, a friendship that you held so close to your heart, it would have broken every little piece of you if it ever ended. Often, you found yourself staring at him with a little smile in the corner of your lips, watching his every move, the way he joked around with his co-stars on set, the way he exercised in the gym for a role, the way he winked at you with a mischievous smile as he caught your eyes on him.

"Do you need my autograph?" he asked with a wide grin as he opened the door of the luxurious car he booked for the event. Once again you have forgotten your eyes on him— his dashing looks, the perfectly fitted suit, the playful twinkle in his eyes. He never stopped teasing you about it.

"Shove off, Tom," you nudged him as he got out of the car and held out a hand for you, waiting for you to accept his help. So, you did. Wrapping your fingers around his hand, you let him help you out of the vehicle as you rearranged your stunning dress and ran your hand down its length to remove any creasing. Cameras were flashing, reporters' loud voices filled the pathway to the entrance, a long red carpet leading your way inside the building towering over you like a modern castle.

"If I didn't know better, I would think your interest in me goes beyond friendship," he chuckled as he held his arm out to you, waiting for yours to be placed over his, his eyes following every little movement of yours. A sudden rush of heat travelled up to your cheeks, your breathing slightly laboured as you tried to calm your heavily beating heart. He was not wrong after all. It's been years since you have been harbouring these feelings, but you hadn't had the heart to confess them. Tom was more important to you than to ruin it over some silly feelings.

Sometimes, when you caught Tom's eyes on you, watching you intently, a soft smile spread across his face, it made you think if maybe, just maybe he was harbouring similar feelings towards you. But the idea was quickly swept away by your doubts, the thought of such an amazing man falling for you seeming impossible. You knew your worth, you didn't write yourself down, but Tom has always been perfect in your eyes, and you couldn't imagine him wanting you even if at times a certain silly part of your brain whispered otherwise.

"I love your healthy self-confidence," you finally gathered your ability to be able to reply, earning a comical huff from him. You have been trying hard, to deny your romantic interest in him, but rumours about the two of you have become a reoccurring news and it didn't help your case to shove your feelings in the back of your mind.

"Ready?" He asked as his gaze turned towards the red carpet. Heaving a heavy sigh, you nodded and murmured a 'yes' as a response.

As soon as the cameras started flashing, hundreds of photos of Tom and you being taken, you conjured a sweet little smile that the tabloids loved. You were always nervous when it came to these events. It was Tom's job to answer some of the questions journalists asked of him, which meant they were to ask about your relationship. It was becoming repetitive, making you feel uncomfortable. The questions themselves didn't bother you but repeating over and over again that the man you have fallen for is merely a friend, felt like a stab in your heart, each time you responded.

"Tom! Tom!" One of the reporters shouted his name and he led you to the side of the red carpet, halting right beside the metal cordons. Questions were flying around, photos had been taken, but you didn't concentrate. Your senses were heightened as Tom pulled you in his side, his arm now wrapped around your waist, gently, but firmly holding onto you. Looking up at him, you studied his face, his ice-blue eyes focusing on the reporter, an excited smile across his face. He seemed so relaxed, so collected, meanwhile even events after events you were still nervous. As though he could feel it, he turned to you with a soft, reassuring smile, giving you a nod, silently asking if you were alright. For others, the movement could have easily been missed, but to you, it was like an earthquake, shaking your heart, making you fall even deeper for him. In a reply, you nodded and offered him a smile as you squeezed his hand that rested on your waist.

"So, Tom, this might be a bit more personal, but everyone has been talking about the two of you," he started, and your eyes immediately darted towards the man. You knew the question, heard it a thousand times already, so you prepared your heart to give the same reply as always. 'We are just friends,' you repeated time after time, hoping they would finally understand and let you be, but they didn't seem to budge. "You have been friends for a long time, and your fans have been talking about how close the two of you have become. Do you think, maybe in the future, there's a possibility for romance to blossom?" He asked with an expectant expression, a sly smile in the corner of his lips.

"As we have said before," you spoke up, ready to reply as you always did, "we—"

"You never know what the future holds for you, there are many possibilities" Tom cut in with a mischievous smile, your eyes growing wide as you looked up at him. Tom chuckled at your expression as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. "Tell me I'm wrong," he arched a brow questioningly, his words starting your heart off at a faster pace, your cheeks feeling warmer under his intent gaze, those blue eyes you often found yourself lost in.

"Well—, I mean I can't argue with that statement," you replied, feeling slightly awkward. A confused smile started growing wider on your face as Tom led you away. "Why did you do that?" You asked as you finally stepped inside the building, his arm still resting around your waist as you headed towards a large room filled with all sorts of foods and drinks, people dancing in the middle, the dim lightning offering a rather intimate mood. "You just created even more gossip," you scolded him, but seemingly he didn't mind. He led you to a table where his name was printed on a nametag and pulled the chair out for you before he took his seat beside you.

"I didn't say anything," he smiled at you as innocently as he could manage, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

"You did. Exactly because you were so secretive, people will want to read between the lines. They will think there's more to us than friendship," you huffed as you hid your face in your palm and heaved a heavy sigh.

"And is that so bad?" He frowned, earning the same expression from you.

"What?" A silent scoff left your lungs. "What are you trying to say?"

"Is that such a big problem if people think we are together?" He asked, his confident tone stunning you.

"Of course, not. I don't care what rumours are being spread about me, but I don't want them to gossip about you," you reached for his hand on the table and wrapped your fingers around it, giving it a gentle squeeze. His expression stayed emotionless; you couldn't read him entirely, but you knew he seemed off.

"I will go grab us a drink," he said as he stood up, leaving you frowning. You weren't sure what you said that made him upset, and regardless of trying to put on a straight face, you knew he wasn't happy with your response.

You watched as he walked over to a small table filled with the most delicious looking cakes and a couple of bottles of champagne, ready for the guests before they brought out the main course. Tom grabbed a battle of champagne and two glasses, filling up both halfway, before he placed the battle back into an ice bucket.

"What is it?" You asked as he returned and gave you one of the glasses.

"What do you mean?" He asked, taking a seat beside you.

"We've known each other for quite a long time. I can read you like an open book. What's bothering you?" Trying to get him to open up, you shuffled closer to him, your chair scraping the floor, turning heads in your direction. "Oops," you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly, earning a chuckle from Tom.

"Very subtle," he mocked you.

"Don't change the subject Mr. Hiddleston," you raised a questioning brow, a tiny smile hidden in the corner of your lips.

"Nothing is bothering me," he added, but your suspicious gaze didn't falter. "I'm being honest, darling," the sly little fox knew his nickname for you would make you soften up and he used every opportunity to say it when he felt cornered.

"Fine," you squinted. "But we aren't done! I'm not blind, I can see something is on your mind."

"Yes, ma'am, I can't wait for this conversation to come back around," he mocked you once again, making you huff as you gently punched his shoulder.

Throughout the night, said conversation was forgotten, the alcohol consumption rose, the amount of people dancing around the room grew, meanwhile others sat at their tables, trying to digest the previously served delicious meals. You couldn't deny that you had a good laugh with Tom and his co-stars from all sorts of movies he had been in. It felt like a little family, people coming together to just have a joyous time.

The way Tom smiled at his friends, praising each other, before turning to mock one another forced your eyes to rest on his excited features. He looked so alive, so happy and the feeling of the man you loved being in his element meant everything to you. Tom was radiating enthusiasm and you couldn't look away as you watched his ever-growing smile, his nose scrunched up at an unexpected subject, his head falling back as a loud laughter erupted from his lungs. He was always handsome, but when he was happy, it filled you up with a certain warmth that you couldn't explain. Like you always wanted to make him happy just to be able to see that cheerful smile spread across his face.

He turned to you, catching your gaze on him once again. His arm sneaked behind you, pulling you closer and leaning down to your ear. "You are staring at me again," you couldn't see it, but you could feel his smile spreading wider.

"I like to see you happy," you shrugged with a soft smile as you leaned back to be able to meet his gaze. His smile faltered, but his eyes softened.

"Dance with me," he said as he offered his palm to you, and you placed your hand in it.

"I take no responsibility for broken toes," you said with a silent chuckle as you followed him to the dancefloor.

"Don't worry, darling, it's worth the injury," he mirrored your expression as you stopped in the middle of the dance floor. A slow, romantic song started playing in the background, his arms finding their perfect position around your waist as yours sneaked around his neck.

It was a slow and peaceful dance, not requiring much knowledge and talent. You just enjoyed each other's presence, gazes meeting, smiles forming, swaying to the slow rhythm of the music. You didn't speak a word, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It never was with Tom. A soft smile, a quick glance, a simple gesture meant more than thousands of words when you were with him.

You laid your head against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat, taking on a quicker pace just like yours did. "I miss you when you are not with me," he spoke for the first time as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. You didn't move away; his embrace was too comfortable, and you couldn't care about people watching you.

"I always miss you. You are the one travelling all the time after all," you chuckled lightly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"I could be only a mile away and I would still miss you," he replied as you pulled back a bit to meet his soft gaze, but there was no smile present across his handsome face. As the song finished, you found yourself standing in front of him, slightly confused about the conversation. "Do you want to go to the balcony? Have some fresh air?" He asked, taking on a more cheerful expression, but you knew him more than to believe it was genuine. In a response you nodded and linked your arm with his.

Following him through the sea of people, you finally arrived at the balcony, looking down to a smaller version of a park, a water fountain standing tall in its centre. You leaned against the rail as you watched the trees battling the silent wind, fallen leaves being blown across the walking path. Tom joined beside you, his eyes following the same direction as you did before they halted on your face. "You are being strange tonight," you spoke up, feeling his gaze resting on you before you turned to him, meeting his eyes.

"I'm just thinking," he added with a half-hearted smile.

"About?" You asked as you reached for his hand resting on the rail and placed yours on top of his. He turned his palm upside down and lifted your hand, hinting a small kiss on your knuckles as he heaved a heavy sigh. "Tom talk to me," you squeezed his fingers reassuringly, his eyes watching you, not leaving your gaze for a moment. "You have been rather quiet around me," you added.

His whole body turned to you, as though he was focusing his complete attention on you. Reaching towards you, he brushed your hair to the side, gently tucking it behind your ear. You leaned into the touch involuntarily, only realising your actions when he caressed your cheek with his thumb, before moving down and running it across your lips. The feeling burnt you, starting your mind off in a very dangerous territory, one that you have been avoiding. 'He is your friend' you tried to remind yourself. But once the tip of his thumb brushed along your lips once again, you couldn't stop yourself. Stepping forward, you placed your hands on his chest, steading yourself and rose on your tiptoes, pressing your lips against his.

Your own bravery surprised you, but Tom didn't seem affected. As soon as your lips met, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. He didn't hesitate, he wasn't surprised. He just held you, gently running his lips along yours, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. But as much as you wanted to enjoy the moment, realisation hit you. You were kissing your best friend. You gently pushed him away, stumbling back from the force, covering your mouth with your palm. "I'm so sorry," you breathed, panic rising in your chest. "I have no idea what happened, I don't know why I did that, I'm so sorry," your words were rushed, your heartbeat loudly pulsing in your ears.

But Tom's gaze twinkled. A soft, warm smile grew wider across his face as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you. "I'm not," he said as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I've been wanting to kiss you," he breathed as he closed his eyes momentarily, slightly shaking his head. "I've been wanting to tell you how much I love you; I've been trying to gain the courage to say it out loud," he scoffed. "I'm a fool for dragging it out for so long, but I love you," his voice shook as he said the words, but his arms tightened around you, safely holding you against his chest. It took you a second to understand what he meant, that your feelings weren't unrequited, that he has been harbouring the same feelings you have.

A heavy sigh left your lungs, as though a weight fell off your chest. Your lips curved into a smile as you placed your hands on his cheeks, running the tip of your thumbs across his jawline. He mirrored your expression whilst leaning into your touch, planting a small kiss on your palm. "I love you too," you replied finally," the words rolling off the tip of your tongue easier than you expected. "I love you so much," you giggled, wanting to repeat the words over and over again, until you finally understood that it was real, that you weren't dreaming. "You never know what the future holds for you, huh?" You asked, repeating his words from earlier in the evening, earning a loud chuckle from him. "So, is this one of those many possibilities?" you raised a single brow.

"Could be. I have a couple more ideas," he said, his soft smile turning into a confident grin.

"You are terrible," you gently hit his chest as you grabbed his suit-jacket and pulled him down to you, meeting his lips halfway, smiling into the intimate moment you have been craving for so long.

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[triptuckers]

Jealousy, Jealousy - Kaz Brekker

Request: yes! ‘Can I request Kaz/reader where one of them is jealous, maybe an argument occurs but with a happy ending. If you’re okay with that. If not I understand. I love your fics though! You’re an incredible writer’ Pairing:  Kaz Brekker x reader Summary:  You got a member of the Dime Lions talking, and got some valuable information. But Kaz isn’t happy with the method you used to get the information Warnings: mild angst, mentions of alcohol, jealous kaz  Word count:  1.9K A/N: me using an olivia rodrigo song as a title? yea. enjoy reading! :)

On one of her nightly journeys through the city, Inej had found out the Dime Lions were planning on stealing an expensive necklace. It so turned out that Kaz also had his eyes on said necklace. And he didn’t like the thought of it slipping through his fingers. 

He figured out which member knew the most about the job, and needed to get him talking. Kaz only knew the week in which the necklace would arrive, not the exact date, or how heavily it would be guarded.

Kaz had sent Inej to figure it out, but even she came back empty handed. Luckily, you knew the club the Dime Lion member liked to go to. It had gotten you to where you are now.

You, Jesper and Kaz are currently looking at him sitting at the bar in the club. You’d been looking at him for a while, keeping a sharp eye on him. It was already clear Kaz wouldn’t be the one to go up to him. Anyone would recognise that cane, or his limp if he decided to go in without it.

 Jesper wants to go inside and get the Dime Lion talking, but you’re quicker, placing a hand on his arm and pushing him back.

‘This is a job for a lady, Jesper.’ you say.

You reach up and pull the ribbon out of your hair, letting it fall down your back. You then take off you coat and hand it to Kaz. Lastly, you unbutton a few buttons of your shirt and run a hand through your hair.

Before either of them can argue, you’ve waved at them, told them ‘wish me luck!’, and are headed into the club.

You walk up to the bar and take place next to the Dime Lion, careful to keep one seat empty between the two of you. You signal for the barkeeper and order your favorite drink. 

Just as you’re about to reach into your pocket to get some money, your target next to you hands the barkeeper some money.

‘On me.’ he says.

You flash him a warm smile. ‘Why, thank you!’ you say. Sometimes they made it almost too easy for you. 

The Dime Lion smiles at you and lets his eyes wander over your face. You have to physically hold yourself back not to punch him in the jaw. But you’re on a job. All you have to do is get him talking. And if he’s so willing to buy you drinks, it shouldn’t be hard.

‘What’s a pretty girl like you doing out all by herself?’ he says. 

‘Just going for a drink.’ you say. 

‘Care for some company?’ he says, pulling the chair next to him back.

‘Don’t mind if I do.’ you say, and you slide off of your chair to sit down next to him. He smells like alcohol and you guess he’s had a lot of drinks already, celebrating his success too early.

He takes a sip of his drink and you notice the tattoo on his wrist. You plaster a shocked look upon your face and reach out to pull his arm toward you.

‘Are you part of one of those dangerous gangs?’ you say.

‘Dime Lions, yeah.’ he says, signalling to the barkeeper for another drink. 

‘You must be very brave.’ you say, looking up and smiling at him again.

‘I don’t like to brag, but yes, I am.’ he says. ‘Can’t be in a gang if you’re afraid of a little action.’

You fake a look of admiration on your face as you lean your chin on your hand, looking at him. ‘That sound really impressive.’ you say.

‘It’s not without danger, but it pays good money.’ he says, taking a sip of his drink. 

‘Really?’ you say.

‘We got an important job coming up. It should make us rich.’ he says.

‘Wow.’ you say. ‘Like, really rich?’

‘You could say that, yes.’ he says. ‘But I’m not supposed to talk to anyone about it.’

‘Oh.’ you say, letting your chin drop slightly. ‘I see.’ 

You move to get up, but he lays a hand on your arm to stop you. ‘Hey, don’t go.’ he says. ‘I suppose I could tell you a little bit about it, just not the details.’

You smile and sit back down. ‘Well, in that case. Let me order you another drink, and tell me a story.’ you say, signalling to the barkeeper. 

‘So, a promising job?’ you say as the barkeeper sets another drink down in front of him. 

‘Very. It’s an expensive necklace. Worth millions of kruge.’ he says. He reaches out and places his hand on your hip. He’s really testing your patience. You try not to show your annoyance.

You let your jaw drop slightly and lean in closer. ‘Millions?’ you whisper eagerly.

He nods. ‘That’s right. We’re winning big with this one. They’re shipping it all the way from Ravka, and it’s arriving on one of the docks on Wednesday night. That part of the docks belongs to the Dregs, but we have a plan on feeding them the wrong information. That necklace is as good as ours.’ he says.

‘You’re really smart.’ you say. ‘How come you’re not running your own gang?’ 

He laughs at your words and you giggle a bit. 

‘It’s not as easy as it looks.’ he says. ‘It takes skill, and practice, and you have to deal with a whole lot of planning. Not my speciality. But I am climbing up the ranks within the Dime Lions, I have to give you that.’

‘Well if you’re climbing the ranks as fast as you’re ordering drinks, it shouldn’t be a problem.’ you laugh, putting your hand on his arm. 

He laughs as well, then smiles at you. You finish your drink and get up.

‘Well, you have been lovely company.’ you say. ‘Do you come here often?’

‘I do.’ he says. ‘This is my favorite place.’

‘Then I might stumble in here a bit more. Maybe I’ll see a certain Dime Lion.’ you say with a wink. ‘Thanks for the drink.’

‘Thank you for the company.’ he says. ‘And I hope to see you again.’

‘I hope not.’ you mutter under your breath as you head out the bar, back to Kaz and Jesper.

When you reach them, they look like the exact opposites of each other. Jesper looks delighted and proud as you walk toward them. 

Kaz, on the other hand, has his lips pressed together so tightly they almost disappear into a thin line. And he looks ready to hit someone in the head with his cane.

‘Alright.’ you say, ignoring the look on Kaz’ face. ‘The necklace arrives on Wednesday night, on our docks. They’re going to plant wrong information to throw us off, but it’s going to be Wednesday night, that’s for sure. I don’t know how many people they’re going to send though, but it should be an easy job.’

Jesper lets out a low whistle. ‘Way to go, Y/N.’ he says. 

‘Like I said, a job for a lady. Tipsy men are willing to tell women everything if they think it’ll make them look impressive.’ you say, taking your coat from Kaz’ arm and putting it on.

‘I think you deserve another drink back at the Slat.’ says Jesper. ‘After you.’

You smile at him and start to walk back to the Slat. You spend almost half of the journey talking and laughing with Jesper, just messing around a bit. You notice Kaz hasn’t said a word, not even telling you good job for gathering the information. 

You hang back and fall into step next to Kaz. 

‘You okay?’ you ask him. Kaz gives a quick nod. You know he’s not much of a talker, but you expected a thank you for getting the job done. 

You try to get him to talk, but his answers are short, if he even answers at all.

‘Come on, Kaz, we got what we came for, didn’t we? Why are you upset?’ you say, looking at him.

‘I'm not upset that we got the information.’ he says, finally giving you a proper answer. ‘I don’t like the way we got it, though.’ he adds to it.

His answer puts a mischievous smile on your face.

‘Aw, is Kaz Brekker, jealous?’ you say teasingly, but Kaz doesn’t tease you back. He merely keeps on walking, not answering you.

‘Kaz, come on, I just did my job.’ you say.

‘Was it your job to practically sit in his lap?’ snaps Kaz. ‘To lay your hand on his arm, to allow him to put his hand on your hip?’

‘I only let him get close so I could get the information out of him. You know I wouldn’t do something like that, I'm yours, Kaz.’ you say, frowning that he could take it so personally.

‘Well you sure as hell made it look convincing you are his.’ grumbles Kaz.

You hold a hand up and get in front of him to stop him. Jesper curiously looks your way but you motion for him to keep walking. He continues walking, but does look over his shoulder every once in a while. You wait for Jesper to be out of reach when you start talking again.

‘I did my job, Kaz. Nothing more than that. There’s absolutely no reason for you to be jealous.’ you say.

‘I’m not jealous.’ says Kaz.

You raise your eyebrows at him. ‘Really?’ you say. ‘Then what’s all this? Because it looks a lot like jealousy to me.’

‘Did you see the way he looked at you?’ says Kaz.

‘Yes I did, but it’s nothing. He was drunk. He’s probably not gonna remember anything of it in the morning.’ you say.

‘What if he does remember it?’ says Kaz, looking at you.

You plant your hands on your hips. ‘Then I'll show him I'm yours.’ you say. ‘And he’ll think twice before even looking my way next time he sees me.’

You look at Kaz, but he still looks restless. You sigh and step closer to him. You reach out and take his gloved hand in his.

‘Look, Kaz, I need you to know I was friendly to him for the sake of the job. I have been and always will be yours.’ you say. 

Kaz looks from his hand in your to your face. 

‘I’m yours.’ you say. ‘No need to be jealous.’

‘I wasn’t jealous.’ he mumbles, making you laugh.

‘Oh, my dear, you definitely were. You should have seen your face. You looked like all you wanted to do was whack that Dime Lion over the head with your cane.’ you say.

‘I did want to do that.’ he admits, making you laugh again. 

‘No need to worry, Kaz.’ you say. ‘Though I would do it again for a job though, or maybe just for the sake of seeing you jealous.’

His head snaps up at your words. You bite your lip to hold your laughter.

‘You look really hot when you’re jealous.’ you say. You see him relaxing again, softly shaking his head at your words, but with a faint smile on his face.

‘You’re one of a kind, Y/N.’ he says as the two of you continue your way back to the Slat.

‘One of a kind, and all yours.’ you say.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

[queenshelby]

MY BROTHERS FRIEND (PART THREE)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warning: Smut, Angst, Mention of Attempted Rape, Blood, Violence

Words: 5230

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Pantry Time

It has been two weeks since you agreed to marry Joseph Kruger, just as Tommy had requested, and today was the day of your engagement party.

You had only met Joseph once and you were fairly certain that he was not interested in marrying you just as you weren’t interested in marrying him. In fact, you didn’t believe that he was interested in women at all. He was attractive and had good manners. There was no reason for him not to be married already at his age.

His four brothers on the other hand were savages. You had encounters with them before and you could understand why Tommy wouldn’t trust them.

You still were unsure what Tommy’s plan was but, for some reason, you trusted him and played a long.

As such, you attended the engagement party willingly and with a smile across your face. The smile wasn’t because of the marriage proposal, but because you knew that you would see Tommy again. It has been a week since you last seen him and had a chance to be intimate with him.

There was no denying it, you were falling for him and it was painfully sweet. There was no future for you and him, but yet you tried to deny this fact and dreamed about being with him, one day.

Your father didn’t know about your involvement with Tommy. He certainly wouldn’t approve.

Arthur walked in on you once, but kept the secret. Lizzie and Polly had their suspicions, but no more than that.

‘You look beautiful Y/N’ Tommy said quietly as he approached you from behind with a smile across his face.

‘Good Evening Tommy’ you said, equally happy to see him.

Tommy was joined by his sister Ada and took the time to engage into some conversation with you as you were getting to know Joseph Kruger.

You played the game well, getting to know all of Joseph’s family and pretending to show a genuine interest in him.

Even Tommy was impressed by your skills of deception.

After your initial encounter with Tommy that evening, you didn’t see much of him and were rather disappointed until, finally, he asked you to dance after the jazz band began to play.

‘I missed you’ he whispered as he was leading you to the dancefloor.

‘I missed you too Tommy’ you whispered in return, following his lead.

You were terrible at dancing and Tommy was well aware of that. You tried hard to maintain a conversation with Tommy without falling over your own two feet.

‘Come with me’ Tommy said with a chuckle about your efforts to not injure yourself.

‘Tommy, we cannot be seen together. You know that’ you said with a slight worry.

‘They are all drunk and dancing, no one will notice us gone’ Tommy smirked as he took your hand and you followed him through the crowd.

He walked with you up the corridor towards a room at the end of the hallway.

Tommy opened the door of the mysterious room and swiftly pushed you inside before closing the door behind him.

Within seconds, Tommy’s hand reaches behind your head and he pulled you to him for a passionate kiss.

‘Tommy, this is the pantry’ you said as you took a quick breath.

‘And? Food has been served. No one will come looking in here’ Tommy smirked before leaning in for another desperate kiss.

‘Did I already tell you that I missed you’ he whispered as his hands made their way over your breasts.

‘You did’ you said, biting your lip and running your hand in between his leg over his already hard cock, poking beneath his pants.

‘Good’ he said just before you exchanged one more passionate and urgent kiss before you turned around and Tommy bent you over the small table inside the pantry.

You both wished that you had more time but you were certain that people would be looking for the bride to be any time soon.

Tommy stood behind you, lifted up your dress and pulled down your panties. He undid his belt, button and fly and pushed his pants and underwear down halfway to his knees, freeing his engorged arousal.

Crouching a little, he placed the head of his cock against the hottest spot underneath your naked bum. He lifted upwards and he could feel your treasure open up and slowly absorb the top two inches of his hard cock.

‘Hmm Tommy’ you moaned quietly as he grabbed your soft hips.

Tommy pushed himself up inside you. Inch after inch invaded your intense heat and with one final and hard push he was inside of you all the way. An inferno engulfed him, squeezing around his entire length.

‘Oh god Tommy’ you moaned, closing your eyes and arching your head back.

‘You feel so fucking good’ Tommy groaned as he kissed the back of your neck.

Holding your hips, he began sliding in and out of you from behind, his groin gently slapping against your ass.

His thrusts soon became harder and faster and you loved the feeling of his hard member poking against the depths of your core again and again.

As he was increasing his speed, Tommy ran his hands over your soft belly, holding the flesh for a moment as he slid into her heat over and over.

He then slid his hands further up your body and cupped your breasts over your dress while kissing the skin on the back of your neck. He wanted to kiss your mouth -- badly.

He pulled his cock out of you and you quickly spun around before stepping out of your panties.

Tommy lifted up your dress before lifting up one of your legs and leaning your back against the table.

Tommy kissed you passionately as you ran your hand over his cheek. Then he entered you again and you both watched intently as he placed the head of his cock against your entrance.

‘Fuck’ Tommy moaned as he watched you open up for him and allow his hard cock to squeeze inside of you, inch by inch.

Your heat slowly embraced him, welcoming him. He thrust forward, jamming his entire manhood inside of you.

Holding himself against you, Tommy looked down at your beautiful face as he began thrusting in and out of you.

Tommy slipped his arms around your back and you stopped leaning back on your elbows and put your arms around his neck. Breathing heavily, your eyes mere slits as you were in ecstasy, your lips found his and you kissed him deeply.

Your tongue shot into his mouth hungrily as he continued to thrust into you deeply.

Tommy then sent his own tongue deep into your mouth, thrusting in and out of you even faster. Your tightness pulled at him, coaxing him.

Tommy continued to thrust up into you as hard as he could a few more times, kissing you equally as hard.

‘Tommy, don’t stop’ you moaned loudly, feeling your orgasm approaching.

Your walls clenched around him and Tommy could feel his engorged shaft pulsing.

Just as you let out another loud moan as your orgasm washed over you and your body began to shake, Tommy released. His sticky rope of hot cum shot out the end of his manhood and into your hungry treasure.

You could feel the warmth inside of you as you exchanged a passionate kiss while you both were coming down from your high.

‘I fucking missed this’ Tommy said as he pulled out of you carefully.

‘As did I’ you smiled as you pulled your panties up beneath your dress.

‘But we better get back to the party’ you said as you fixed up your hair.

‘I am sure your father is ready and waiting to make a speech’ Tommy said before giving you another kiss, causing you to smile. There was some sudden awkwardness between you.

You both straightened yourself up and you opened the pantry door carefully.

Just as Tommy opened the door, Finn approached.

‘Finn’ Tommy said surprised just as Finn barged inside. He must have stood there for a while and listened to your sweet moans.

‘It’s not what it looks like Finn’ Tommy said just as you were speechless, starring at them both.

‘Oh yeah? Isn’t it?’ Finn said angrily. ‘Out of all women in this town Tommy… you are my fucking brother’ Finn added.

‘Finn, listen to me…’ Tommy said as Finn walked off.

Tommy followed Finn while you had to return to the party so that you wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

After you joined your father and Joseph for a thank you speech, you hadn’t had another chance to speak to Tommy or Finn and were worried about if and how Tommy managed to resolve the issue.

Trouble Ahead

Without the air having been cleared between Tommy and Finn and Tommy largely ignoring Finn’s feelings, Tommy called a meeting between the brothers and Uncle Charlie, without the presence of Polly.

With his plan, he went behind Polly’s back and he needed man power to take over the Kruger’s family business. As one would expect, he trusted his brothers to keep his plan a secret from others.

The meeting took place at Uncle Charlie’s junk yard and went on for about an hour. Arthur was in favour of Tommy’s plan while Finn and Uncle Charlie considered the plan to be too dangerous. Nonetheless, they agreed to follow Tommy’s orders.

After his meeting with Tommy, Arthur and Uncle Charlie, Finn downed his anger with Whiskey and cocaine at the Garrison where, later that evening, he met a young woman named Esmeralda.

With ignorance and naiveness, he confided in Esmeralda. He told her what happened between you and his brother Thomas and how upset he was about it. He considered you to be the love of his life which Tommy has now taken away from him.

Finn also told Esmeralda about Tommy’s plan. Finn was of the view that Tommy was using you for his own advantage, ignoring the fact that Finn had strong feelings for you.

Little did Finn know that Esmeralda knew the Kruger Family and that, soon, word would come to Manual Kruger, Joseph’s father.

And, as it happened, after Esmeralda comforted Finn for the night, she arranged a meeting with Manuel Kruger and his brother.

During this meeting, Esmeralda explained that Tommy was liaising with Joseph in order to take over the Kruger’s Family Business, making Joseph an acquaintance of the Peaky Blinders.

What you and Finn didn’t know was that Joseph Kruger despised his father and uncle and had been gathering men for two years now to work against them. But Esmeralda was very well aware of the situation and so was Tommy.

For many years, Joseph had been discriminated against by his own father and uncle because of his sexual orientation. He was excluded from family dealings and his brothers worked against him. However, neither of them realised that Joseph did, in fact, have strong ties to certain night club owners in London which was perfect for the distribution of narcotics.

Of course, Tommy saw the potential in this. It was a win win situation for him to help Joseph to take out his father, uncle and brothers and work with him to distribute cocaine throughout London’s nightclubs. In addition, the need for marriage between your family and the Kruger family would be diminished.

It was clear to Esmeralda that this information would create a war between the Shelby family and the Kruger family and this was exactly what she wanted to achieve.

She had a vested interest in seeing the Shelbys lose their fortune. After all, it was Arthur Shelby who killed her brother in a boxing match several years ago. What she wanted was revenge. But of course, Finn didn’t know that, nor did he know that he had put your life in danger when he told Esmeralda about your romantic involvement with his brother and his brother’s plan.

Later that evening, unbeknownst to you, you were to realise how dire this situation had become. The Kruger family was determined to send a message to both, your father and Tommy.

That evening, just as you said goodbye to Tommy and walked out of the office building, you noticed both lights on the street were broken.

This was unusual but you didn’t think anything about it until you also noticed a blood-stained hat on the pavement outside.

‘Karl?’ you spoke loudly. Karl was the man who normally drove you home and, usually, he would already been waiting for you at the front door.

You walked around the corner, following the stains on the pavement.

‘Karl?’ you asked again until, all of a sudden, you stumbled over something. As you looked down, you noticed Karl’s dead body, blood running from his head and chest.

‘Oh my god’ you said, shivers running over your back as you stepped backwards until, all of a sudden, you were grabbed by a man from behind.

‘Shh Love’ the man laughed as he covered your mouth while you tried to escape his strong hold on you.

‘Miss Gold, what a lovely surprise’ another man said as, all of a sudden, a total of three more men approached you from each corner of the street.

‘We know about your man’s plan Love’ the attacker then went onto say as he stood right in front of you, running his dirty hands over your blouse.

You tried hard to escape and reach for your gun in your bag, but the men held onto you tightly.

‘I think it’s time for us to send him and your father a little message’ one of the men said just as he ripped open your blouse.

By that time tears were running down your face and you tried to kick your legs up in protest.

‘You know Love, we will all take our turn and it will be over quick if you hold still, yeah?’ he went on to say just as you leaped out and kicked him into his crotch with your heels.

‘You fucking bitch’ he yelled as he reached for your skirt. In this moment you took your chance and bit harshly into the hand of the man who was restraining you while continuing to kick your legs forward.

‘Tommy’ you yelled loudly as your mouth was freed for a brief second, knowing that he was still in the office.

But, the men wouldn’t back off and began to further tare on your clothes while holding you back down, letting you scream for help.

‘No one is coming Love’ one of the men said as he began kissing your neck.

Just as you felt the man’s tongue run over your ear and heard him unbuckling his belt, you heard a shot.

‘Get the fuck off her’ Tommy yelled harshly, firing again.

The next thing you saw was blood streaming down the pavement. One of the men had been shot into his knee. It was dark and difficult for Tommy to aim.

With a limited view, Tommy approached the attackers while they briefly halted their assault on you.

‘Mr Shelby, nice of you to join us. You can watch while we fuck your little girlfriend’ one of the men said as, suddenly, Tommy could feel a knife against his neck from one of the other men.

With one of the men on the ground and the other keeping Tommy at bay, the other two proceeded with their plan as they tore apart your skirt, leaving your underwear exposed to them.

‘Now Love, we will continue where we left of and your boyfriend gets to watch us’ the man said as he pulled down his pants.

You continued to scream in protest as the man was trying to push down your panties.

Just as he grabbed hold of the hem, you heard a loud scream coming from the man standing behind Tommy.

As you looked over, you observed Tommy slamming a large and sharp piece of metal from the floor besides him into the man’s throat.

You took this opportunity to reach for your gun in your purse and, within a split second, you shot the man who, at this point, still had hold of your panties.  

This allowed you to free yourself but, as you stepped backwards, you fell down to the floor. You had never shot someone before and were in shock, trembling at the sight of the dead man in front of you.

By the time you collected your thoughts, Tommy had already shot the other man who attacked you. It was almost like an execution, without mercy. Tommy’s face expressionless.

Tommy decided not to kill the fourth man but, instead, shot him into his other knee so that he couldn’t run away. He was to be questioned and then used to send a message to the Kruger Family.

‘Are you alright?’ Tommy asked as he raced over to you and placed his jacket around your half naked body.

You nodded while you were shivering and crying and your heart was pounding.

‘You are safe now’ Tommy said as he took you into his arms.

His white shirt was stained with blood and he had a large cut on his neck that would soon need some attention. But for now, he just wanted to comfort you.

With the man screaming in pain across the pavement, it wasn’t long for police to arrive.

Tommy didn’t leave your side as police assessed the scene.

‘What would you like us to do with this one Mr Shelby?’ the policeman asked after he instructed his other men to clean up the scene.

‘Take him to 5 Birmingham Avenue and chain him up. I will deal with him later’ Tommy said, causing the policeman to nod while Tommy helped you up from the pavement.

‘Common, let’s get you cleaned up ey?’ Tommy said as he walked you to his car, covering as much of your naked flesh as he could with his jacket.

Tommy helped you inside of his Bentley, which is when you noticed his wound. It was draining a lot of blood down his neck.

‘Tommy, you are hurt’ you said, looking at him concerned.

‘It’s just a scratch Y/N’ Tommy smirked as placed some pressure onto his open wound before driving off.

You didn’t know where he was taking you until he pulled up in front of a large house.

Love and Desire

‘Where are we?’ you asked.

‘My house. You will be safe here’ Tommy said as he parked the car.

Two maids were waiting for you as you walked inside the house. They must have seen the car pull up.

‘Mr Shelby, are you alright?’ Francis asked concerned.

‘Yes Francis. Could you please look after Ms Gold for me while I make a phone call?’ Tommy asked while he continued to press onto his wound firmly with his hands.

‘Yes Mr Shelby, of course. Shall I arrange a bath?’ Francis asked as you were clearly covered in mud and dirt.

‘Yes please. And some clean clothes and whatever else she needs’ Tommy said.

‘I do not think that we have clothes other than…’ Francis said and, before she could finish her sentence, Tommy interrupted her.

‘My wife’s clothes should fit her’ Tommy said.

‘Of course, Mr Shelby’ Francis responded before she helped you upstairs.

Francis ran a bath for you before she helped you undress and get rid of your dirty clothes.

She was kind and welcoming, almost like a mother.

As you then finally sank into the bath you could feel your bruised skin burn. Your legs hurt terribly and small cuts were covering your arms and knees.

Francis gave you some privacy at this point. But she had also given you three nightgowns to choose from before she left and prepared the guestroom for you.

You soaked in the bath for at least 20 minutes and scrubbed your skin. You felt disgusted and embarrassed.

When you stepped out of the bath, you dried yourself off with the soft white towel that Francis had given you before putting on one of the nightgowns. It was white, made out of soft and shiny satin. It covered some of your bruises but not all.

As you walked outside the bathroom, you could hear grunts coming from the kitchen.

You followed the noises to see Tommy being held down onto the kitchen table by Arthur and Finn while a nurse was using tweezers to remove fragments of gravel from the wound on his neck.

Tommy glanced over to you briefly before indicating to one of the maids that he wanted you to leave.

‘Can’t it just be stitched up?’ you asked, causing the maid to shake her head before asking you to follow her.

‘The wound has to be cleaned out, its quite deep’ the maid said as she showed you to your room.

You sat down on the bed in your room but couldn’t help it but worry about Tommy. All that you could hear from your otherwise quiet room were the occasional grunts. He was clearly in pain.

Then, after about ten minutes, there was dead silence and you became even more concerned and worried.

Finally, after 20 minutes, you heard a knock on the door.

‘Come in’ you said.

You were relieved to see Tommy when he opened the door.

You were quick to get off the bed and walk over to him, pressing your lips onto his in a haste.

He had been stitched up and his wound was covered by a large gauze.

Tommy didn’t say anything after the kiss but simply looked at you wearing Grace’s nightgown.

It was almost like he was assessing you and all of the small bruises and cuts that covered your body.

His hands then caressed your face before he kissed you again.

Silence. There was nothing but silence and kisses.

After about ten minutes of this, Tommy caressed your face again and looked into your eyes.

‘I am sorry this happened to you’ Tommy said.

‘It’s not your fault Tommy’ you responded.

‘You will stay here for a while until I sort this out, alright? You will be safe here and no one will ever hurt you again like this, I promise.’ Tommy said.

‘Alright Tommy’ you said as your hands ran over his bare chest. You wanted to tell him what you were feeling for him in that moment but couldn’t bring it over your lips.

At this point you pulled him onto the bed with you, kissing him gently, before reaching in between his legs.

‘Not tonight Y/N’ Tommy said as he could feel his hand run over his crotch.

‘Tommy, please, I need you’ you said, knowing how good it always makes you feel.

Tommy chuckled at your comment and nodded before leaning over you another kiss.

‘Alright’ he said, before he slowly removed your nightgown. It wasn’t long before his hands were touching you everywhere, lingering on your breasts, tracing the sharp curves of your hips.

Tommy’s lips followed his hands, planting gentle kisses against every inch of your bruised skin. His head moved back up to your chest and his full lips closed over the tips of first one breast and then the other. He began sucking your nipples gently, causing you to moan loudly.

‘Tell me if I'm hurting you’ he murmured as his hand reached down between your legs where most of your bruises had surfaced.

You nodded, breathless. You reached for his belt but your hands were shaking so much that you couldn't even maneuver the clasp. You were still wound up by what had happened that night.

Tommy eased your hands away and took over. In no more than ten seconds, he was as completely naked as were you.

He embraced you, holding you tightly against his chest. You ran your fingers up and down the length of his back, scraping your short nails against his smooth skin.

Tommy shifted his position and began suckling at your breasts once more. A moan of pleasure escaped your lips. You could feel his hard member pressing against your thigh. And you could feel moisture seeping out from between your legs.

Tommy reached between your thighs, parted them gently, and slowly swirled two fingers around your wet vaginal lips.

Tommy removed his fingers. His body slithered down the length of yours. He took hold of your hips, placed his mouth between your legs and nibbled at your sensitive flesh. Then the tip of his tongue began flicking against your clit, tracing circles around the hardened nub.

‘Oh god, Tommy’ you cried as you grabbed hold of his muscular shoulders as the shivers and shudders of an approaching orgasm wracked at your weak body.

The arching of your back was sending bolts of pain shooting down your spine. But you didn't care. Pain and pleasure were colliding and you chose the pleasure.

‘Don’t stop Tommy’ you urged him, tangling your fingers in his hair.

Tommy pressed his mouth to your wet entrance once again and used his tongue to toy with your clit some more.

‘Oh god yes’ you moaned as your orgasm was consuming you, fast and hard.

Tommy crawled up the length of your body and held you tightly as you lost all control. You were shaking and moaning. You grabbed onto him for dear life until the final shudder released you from the joint grasp of ecstasy and agony.

He kissed her hungrily, devouring your lips with his own. You could taste your own juices as you returned his kiss with every ounce of passion you possessed.

Though satiated and struggling with the pain, you parted your legs again and reached down to guide Tommy’s hard cock into your soaking wet pussy. Tommy groaned immediately. He propped himself up on his hands and began pushing into you gently.

‘It's okay’ you whispered as Tommy looked at you as if he was seeking approval.

‘Push harder’ you moaned, giving your body to him.

Tommy accepted your invitation and began thrusting into you more forcefully. He lowered his head to kiss you as he was pumping into you with increased speed and force.

The tip of his cock was grazing against your sweet spot as he thrusted into you and you felt another climax approaching.

At the same time, you also felt Tommy’s body begin to tremble with his own approaching release.

‘Oh god Tommy’ you moaned as your orgasm washed over you.

At the same time, guttural groans escaped his throat and, with one final convulsive thrust, he erupted inside of you, flooding you with a rush of hot cum.

After you both came down from your high, Tommy rolled away from you and collapsed next to you.

He took you into his arms and held you against his body as, all of a sudden, Arthur barged through the door.

‘Fucking hell Arthur’ Tommy said just as you covered your bare breasts with the sheets.

‘Abraham Gold is here’ Arthur said, trying hard to look away from you.

‘I thought Finn was full of shit when he told me that you two were still fucking’ Arthur said as you quickly reached for your nightgown and Tommy put on his pants.

‘This stays between us’ Tommy instructed as he walked out of your room and downstairs.

‘Mr Gold’ Tommy said, greeting your father.

‘Where is my daughter’ Abrahama asked.

‘Upstairs, having a rest’ Tommy responded, causing Finn to sigh and Arthur to laugh.

You made your way downstairs after five minutes to greet your father before Tommy took him into his office to discuss the matter.

All you could hear from outside Tommy’s offices were arguments and yelling.

Your father didn’t know about your involvement with Tommy but soon learned about his plan. In your father’s opinion, Tommy was going behind his back and put your life at risk for financial gain and had now created a war with the Kruger family, especially after killing three of Manuel Kruger’s five sons.

‘These were men you wanted to be in business with, ey? Men who tried to force themselves on your daughter’ Tommy said angrily as your father stormed out of his office.

‘Carful Mr Shelby’ your father yelled before telling Tommy that it would have never come that far if he wouldn’t had interfered with the arrangement.

Your father took a hold of your hand told you to get into the car as he left Tommy’s office, the yelling continuing.

‘Mr Gold, it’s not safe’ Tommy tried to argue while your father forced you to leave with him.

‘My daughter’s safety is not your concern Mr Shelby’ Abrahama said and you had no choice but to follow him back to the commune.

You spent the next few days there, not being allowed to work or go on with your usual activities. You knew that your father regularly talked to Tommy. He had no choice but to work with him now after all this. But, you had no idea where things were heading from here on and you knew that Tommy’s actions made your father despise him.

Finally, five days later, your father arranged another meeting with Tommy and Arthur at the factory to which you were invited. It was Tommy who insisted that you were part of this meeting and gain an understanding of the plan. Tommy argued that this was for your own safety.

You appreciated Tommy’s efforts to have you included but, that particular morning, you could have very well stayed in bed.

You have been unwell for two days now and didn’t want to see Tommy looking the way you did.

You forced yourself to put on a nice dress and some make up before joining your father and brother in the car.

Just as you arrived at the factory building, you barged out of the car and towards the lavatory.

‘Excuse me’ you said as you stormed into the men’s lavatory on the ground floor. There was no female lavatory in close proximity.

‘You realise that this is the fucking men’s lavatory, right?’ Arthur said while taking a leek as, all of a sudden, he heard a loud choking noise.

‘Are you alright, Love?’ he asked as you were in the cubicle, with the door open, your head hanging over the toilet seat.

‘Yes, I am fine, thank you Arthur’ you said as you straightened yourself up and walked to the basin to wash your hands.

There was an awkward silence between you and Arthur.

‘Ate something bad, ey?’ Arthur said as he handed you his handkerchief.

‘Yes, probably. It’s been like this for two days’ you said. ‘I will return it, washed of course’ you added after you wiped your mouth with the handkerchief.

‘Don’t worry Love. Keep it’ Arthur said as you both left the bathroom and headed to the meeting.