#the next one would be Weakness
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everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.
(okay, there is one more thing)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#jade is having the time of his life being a nasty little mofo and i love him for it#and gosh...leona and sally being friends is SO cute#sometimes i forget that leona is canonically a feminist#sally poisons a man and he's like 'you go girl'#they have so much in common though!#they both have eye scars and no ears on the sides of their heads!#no but they're adorable and i love it#and i suppose i have to reluctantly admit that i understand why lilia could not be in this event#he would just be stuffing frogs into his mouth left and right without even blinking#every time we get a moment of culture-clash he would just be there like 'mm-hm. yes. i do not see the problem.'#man. i do so adore any event that forces the boys to Work Together#their one weakness...not being petty dipshits who get into slapfights at the drop of a hat#absolutely nothing got done that first day and the mayor set off the emergency alarm because he was so done with them#this is perfection#anyway brb gotta go do some missions for the other jack's birthday#see you next week for more of scully becoming increasingly disillusioned with all these fake halloween fans
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Cite your sources.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangshan#jiang cheng#lan wangji#mianmian#Jiang Cheng stays quiet after JGS says his foul little lie about WWX not respecting or liking him.#And because it's an audio format there isn't any other information we get on what he does.#Probably sit there in silence. Fermenting on his festering abandonment issues.#I think JC has a bit of a delicate heart when it comes to the last few things he has to hold on to.#And damn if JGS can see right into that weakness. He's got a mercury tongue. Silvery and poisonous.#I know LWJ makes his rebuttal more for preserving WWX's face than reassuring JC.#But I also know they *did* team up in the past and they do have a lot in common. And canonically can't stand each other.#They are my funny little duo and I'm the one drawing the comic. I can bake my own crumbs.#Would LWJ actually comfort JC? I don't think he knows how to comfort anyone actually. Not even himself.#JC is struggling so badly in this meeting. I'm glad there are other people in this awful meeting to tag in while he has a quiet cry.#Who's ready for Mianmian to go off next comic? Let's give a 'GET HIS ASS GIRL' to our queen!
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HOW TO PIN YOUR INSECTS:
Position limbs into desired arrangement and pin in place
Maintain eye contact
Pin should pass through the center of the thorax
Move slowly; lest the divine light leak out along with the ichor
Wait for the embers to die.
Wait for the embers to reignite.
#Ultrakill#V1#V1 Ultrakill#Gabriel Ultrakill#Gabv1el#Insects#Disclaimer. Not actual insect pinning advice. If that wasn't obvious from the start.#Cw:#Blood#Should I tag this animal death. Maybe? Hell if I know#Hm. I think I'll leave it at#Ask to tag#Just in general.#Don't ask me to put this in the ship tag though I'm not doing it (if I tag it ship know it was a moment of weakness... Joking.)#Anyway I don't want to talk about how long this took. Fuck's sake. This is like the third attempt at this concept#The first one I just didn't vibe with and the second you couldn't see the pins well enough (I would say it was also too horny-looking but.)#(but so is this one. As told to my by my peer reviewer. And by that I mean my friend I sent the sketch to and they said-#''I don't see how your other sketch could possibly be worse than this''. Thank you for the encouragement. I'll add more bloodlust next time#EDIT: FIXED A MISTAKE THAT WAS BOTHERING ME#EDIT 2: I caved. It's in the ship tag now.
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hi. vore on main. no that's it that's the post this is straight up genuinely and unironically voreposting on main. mostly just a lot of cutsey dumb goofy shit, but monsterfucker brain did get ahold of me for a bit there so there's also a handful that are uhhhh Spicy. nothing explicit, but like, It's Vore Dude, so if you look under the cut that is YOUR problem ok? ok.
ok listen before i move on i have to put it out there look i KNOW i drew the funny rat skeleton comic with this guy but that was ONLY because it was funny. thats not my real belief, he doesn't have any organs at all he is just a sack of gunk. he is harmless. it's basically just the same inside as on the outside but slightly more damp since it's not exposed to air to give him that drier 'skin' layer.
also i already typed this out in my friendserver so im pasting it here now too. my stance on fp re: horniness is i really can't see him as a 'sexual' being, per se, especially with how non-biological he is, but also he really really really likes physical intimacy so if you are giving him permission to be weird and touchy on you in any context, let alone one both parties would enjoy, i mean. he's not gonna say no. this Could be about sex or w/e if someone wanted to fuck him but more relevantly here yeah it's about vore. i think that's categorically about the Most you can be touchy/in contact on a guy so yeah thats always what he's going to go for. tangentially he just thinks it's fun to make peppino* flustered so since pep does not particularly Enjoy being vored, fp has other options to Get Up In There for something else pep might enjoy *spoken generally for whatever theoretical partner, just peppino is the one that's readily available here and fun to use
also while im here id like to say. no peppino is not a monsterfucker are you kidding me. he is not going to ever go out of his way for weirdness. weirdness really has a way of finding him though, and he's shockingly tolerant of it as long as he doesn't clock it as a threat. anyway what im saying is if you got a big clingy beast around and al up in your business all the time shits just gonna kinda Happen sometimes. he's certainly not going to Encourage it but if hes already in that situation, might as well at that point.
#pizza tower#fake peppino#no one else is getting tagged this is about him#rip to anyone going to browse my pizzaposting tag and seeing this at the top. its fine it'll get covered with normal stuff soon enough#literally next level derangement posting this from main but i have my REASONS. as follows:#1. i um. dont really have the luxury of anonymity with pt stuff.#so even if i posted this from my narsty blog people would recognize my art/content style anyway#2. i dont actually want people following my narsty blog for this#because it's suuuuuuuper inactive and i only actually draw this stuff myself like once every 3 years. so it'd be kinda pointless#3. the other cool pt artists i follow post their spicy stuff so you know what! maybe i want to too! even if it is freak shit for 3 people#4. i just think itd be funny if like 50 people unfollowed and/or blocked me for this. weeding out the weak.#if ur gonna be here u should know what youre dealing with and u better not a BITCH about stupid and weird kinks#5. if you are the 3 people the stupid and weird kink is for... i love i u kissing u#anyway if u reply some shit on here like ''wtf did i just see'' ur getting blocked. behave#i think this will maybe get [rightfully] 4 notes and if anyone actually reblogs this youre stronger than god#pizzaposting
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look. not to be too mean on main. the rightful heir thing. if you don't care about the intricacies of property law or legal writs and just want to focus on characterization and other aspects of storytelling, fine.
but it truly does look very goofy when you start "debating" this while lacking historical context and methodological tools. sometimes a constitutional crisis (that was already resolved in the 12th century and whose results you can always look up) can't just be settled by appealing to one's anachronistic opinion and accusing those who disagree of misogyny.
there's a difference between suggesting how things should be (i.e. prescriptive, i.e. women should never inherit the throne) and analysing how things were for a myriad of socio-political reasons.
also, trust me, the Dance being fictional is not the gotcha people think it is. it's plenty obvious. i'm sorry to say but the premise is so flimsy it would never have happened like that irl.
final idea: likewise, perhaps being condescending about people who do take the time to criticise the premise is veering a little bit towards anti-intellectualism. 'idc about succession laws ergo i'm more enlightened bc i've unlocked an edgelord-y way to enjoy fiction'. a medievalesque fantasy setting is going to attract commentators who are interested in medieval history or at least aspects of it. they may find copy-paste scenarios from real history and think it interesting to compare and contrast. it's not immediately equivalent to treating aegon and rhaenyra like your ballot choices next election, and, equally, they're not discussions without merit.
comparative analysis is a transferable skill! if someone doesn't want to partake, fine, but i think this attitude of turning one's nose at it is a tad coarse. there are many fans who take the time to write informative posts and contextualise this fictionalised universe and it's a shame to automatically write-off what is ultimately a rich tradition in internet asoiaf spaces
#*people with history degrees facepalming their way through the fandom*#everyone has a pet peeve and this is mine#my other controversial opinion is that it's also silly to say it doesn't matter from a storytelling perspective as well#if your intrigue is shaky then it brings the quality of the overall story down#one principle of writing is that your world needs to have consistent internal rules no?#if these rules flip-flop from one situation to the next then that would be a flaw in the worldbuilding#and one thing about grrm's dance is that the intrigue is one of the weak points#succession for the iron throne
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Hobie1610 pt. 3
part 3 has finally arrived!!! at a faster rate than part 2 but a bit of a wait nonetheless lol
not entirely sure how long this lil story will go on for but hope y'all are enjoying this ride regardless, whether it ends on the next part or in 3 more chapters ldfjkdhf
in this installment: thrilling action, a high stakes chase, and we get to learn more abt our beloved hobie jones! yippee!
>pt. 1 here<
>pt. 2 here<
♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧
By some miracle, Hobie did not mention the suit to Miles once they started texting semi-regularly.
Unfortunately, they also couldn't really make their lunch date (date? God, get it together, Morales. It is not a date…) as soon as Miles would have liked, due to a million different things getting in the way of them setting a solid day aside to chill together.
Just his luck, of course.
But in the hallways, Hobie actually deigned to give Miles a passing smile every now and then. They didn’t ever get to hang out like they did for those precious few moments on the first day of school, but Miles didn’t feel the crushing weight of guilt every time he saw Hobie in his same classroom anymore. What a relief!
So Miles was mostly okay with how things were going anyhow, even if the hangout ended up falling through and they both decided not to go in the end. He was able to patrol and do his homework in blissful peace for the first time in months.
… Kind of.
That look on Hobie’s handsome face as he looked down past Miles’ coat collar though…
That still ate away at an anxious part of Miles’ brain whenever he had the time to sit down and really let his worries manifest.
No time to think about that now, though. Miles was suited up again on a school night, hoping to get at least an hour’s worth of patrolling in before security at Visions noticed he was absent from his dorm room. He hoped Ganke would be able to cover for him like he always did.
It was yet another cold evening out in New York City, and Miles was steadily covering the edges of Brooklyn, heading towards Manhattan to do a quick sweep through Central Park like he did on occasion. There was always something going on in Manhattan, especially during the evening.
Miles decided it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick peek before calling it a night and heading back to Visions.
So away he went-- now fully in his Spiderman element-- vaulting and soaring over buildings, showing off every now and then by doing silly flips and tricks mid-air for the opportunistic New Yorkers looking to snap their Spiderman Sighting of the day. A little social media promo never hurt anyone, after all…
Spiderman finally swung down onto a tree branch on the western side of the park from a street lamp and was just about to lower himself down as inconspicuously as he could, before immediately feeling the tingling electricity of his Spider Senses race up and down his spine, giving him the usual headache along with it.
He crouched down quietly on a branch and watched as a familiar lanky figure streaked across the path underneath him onto the grass and beyond.
Whoever this runner was, he was fast. And hot on his trail was a gang of burly bumbling assholes cursing up a blue streak as they gave chase.
Spiderman’s eyes stayed glued to the fast runner like they were a lifeline. His senses honed in on the person and he erupted out of the leaves of the tree with one mighty leap, sailing through the air to shoot a web out and swing his way on over to the excitement.
Several joggers, people walking dogs after work, and mothers with baby carriages exclaimed and shouted as they were barreled into by the gang of men trying to keep up with their moving target. The runner didn’t seem to be giving up, though, as their long legs sent them flying over bushes and rocks and lounging people as gracefully as a ribbon in the air.
It was indeed getting dark soon again, but the darkness didn’t really affect Spiderman’s senses at all. His mask helped him fine-tune his powerful vision and anticipate the runner’s next moves.
It looked as though they were trying to make their way up towards the Great Lawn from Cedar Hill, but whether the person was planning to make a break for the now-empty Delacorte Theatre or the Metropolitan Museum Of Art… or beyond? That was the million dollar question.
Spiderman didn’t want to lose the person in case they happened to just be a petty thief, since that would be a quick and easy problem to fix. But as he silently chased down the runner alongside (and unbeknownst) to the gang, his suspicions gave way to some other... ideas.
Namely, that the runner seemed young, a bit too young for someone to be pissing off this many fully-grown gang members.
He pushed through his confusion and made a break for the theatre the second he guessed that the runner was pivoting in that direction.
The trees were getting thicker the closer they got to the Belvedere Castle and Spiderman eventually resorted himself to hoofing it, mindful of sticking to the shadows of the foliage that surrounded them on all sides.
He was super grateful now more than ever that his suit happened to be his signature sleek black and red, rather than the tacky and hyper-visible reds and blues of many of his Spider counterparts (sorry Peter!)
Once he confirmed that the suspicious target was indeed planning on hiding in the bleachers of the massive amphitheatre, he shot up a web to hoist himself into the infrastructure from the tall stadium lights. From there, he positioned himself a bit closer to the fray, hearing the loud and heavy boots of the gang following the runner, not far behind.
Then, he squinted into the dusk as he watched one of the entrances from his perch up high... and almost choked on his own saliva!
In comes none other than Hobie Motherfucking Jones, streaking down several steps like a shooting star, clutching onto… something tucked under one of his arms. He was breathless, panting loudly, and heading straight for the Belvedere Lake.
Upon hearing the heavy bootfalls get ever closer with every passing second, it seemed that Hobie got the idea to attempt a last-minute juke by throwing himself underneath the stairs that faced the lake, tucking himself as tightly as he could under the massive stage at the center.
Spiderman watched all of this happening with wide eyes, holding his own breath in. He prayed that the ugly thugs didn’t see Hobie’s sneaky last-second move, but climbed up high onto the stadium lights and prepared to swing down anyhow, just in case.
What was Hobie even doing here, out at this hour? And what the hell did he manage to steal that was so important to these men anyways? It was quite a chase they were caught up in, running nearly two entire miles all the way up to the amphitheatre just to catch him, and that was only from what he could see when he swung into action.
The group split up and pulled out flashlights, determinedly searching the bleachers and corners as best they could while the sky rapidly darkened above them.
From right below the webbed crime-fighter, Hobie poked his head out from the shadows and took a peek.
No, no, duck back down! Spiderman wanted to shout, but he couldn’t.
No one knew he had followed them and he was safe high above the action where he balanced himself on the metal bars that housed the bulbs. His muscles tensed as the bright beam of light from one guy’s flashlight swept a little too close to Hobie’s head. Damnit.
Spiderman couldn’t just sit there all day! He had a friend to save, stolen item be damned!
He rechecked his web shooters furtively and took aim.
He set his sights on another stadium light pole across from the stage, figuring that if he was quick and agile enough, he could time his swing well enough to scoop Hobie up from where he was hidden and avoid any detection. Hopefully.
Seemed like a solid enough plan though, until Hobie just. Shot out from his hiding place all of a sudden, the heels of his boots rapping loudly against the cement and echoing all around the stage as he made a beeline for the lakefront.
Shit!!!
Miles wanted to kill him. Those guys didn’t even suspect he was hiding where we was in the first place!
... Okay, plan B!
Spiderman’s brain whirred at breakneck speeds as he watched the thugs exclaim loudly and give chase yet again, this time much closer to Hobie than they ever were before.
Without thinking, he swung down from his perch and bowled over a couple of men in his haste to simply just… grab Hobie like a damsel in distress and fireman-carry him back around the gang to get a good line of web onto a nearby pole.
The men all cursed and shouted in surprise of course, flashlight beams waving around everywhere.
One of them even yelled, “what the hell was that?!” like a character in one of his dad’s favorite cheesy slasher movies.
Spiderman was too fast for them, a black blur simply whizzing by as he grabbed Hobie and hoisted the both of them up into the air with a mighty leap. Hobie yelped in surprise, grunting from the effort, and seemed to let whatever he stole slip out of his hands which then clattered loudly onto the ground below.
The thugs rejoiced then, shaking fists at Hobie and his rescuer as they flew up to the top of a tree and detached themselves so they could fall onto the stadium light opposite from Spiderman’s initial hiding spot.
Spiderman didn’t stop until he attached another web up to the lights and dangled there for a bit. Adrenaline still coursed through his veins as he shifted Hobie off of his shoulders and let him slide slowly onto his side, his friend’s wiry arms clutching him tightly.
They both watched with rapt attention at the goings-on several feet below them.
The thugs congregated around the fallen item, picking it up and turning it this way and that. It looked like a briefcase, though with the low lighting it really could’ve been anything. It was only when one of them-- the biggest and burliest of them all-- shouted out another colorful swear word that Hobie then seemed to come back to himself again.
He squeezed Spiderman’s shoulders with his arms and kicked at him. They swung a bit from the wiggling.
“Ouch!” Spiderman hissed, as quietly as he could. He was hoping the dark dusk would conceal their position now as long as they made No Noises, but even that wasn’t guaranteed.
“Go, go, go, go, man! Let’s get out of here!!” Hobie hissed right back into his ear, his face mere centimeters away from Spiderman’s mask.
Spiderman stubbornly ignored the heat radiating out from his face at that realization and jerked this way and that, looking for an easy escape from their conundrum.
Flashlight beams danced around the ground before finally swinging up to the trees and catching sight of a pair of shoes dangling in the sky.
The biggest and meanest one of the bunch pulled something out of his pocket and took aim.
Bullet! Spiderman’s senses screamed into his cerebellum.
“Goddamn,” he huffed ruefully as the shots rang out. Hobie panicked. “Bullets for us? That’s a little harsh, isn’t it?”
Hobie clung onto his hero for dear life. “Brother, if you do not get a move on from here, we are both gonna get turned into fish filets!” He shouted into Spiderman’s ear.
“Ow. Okay,” Spiderman grumbled, sticking himself to the side of the pole they dangled from and readjusting Hobie so that he clung onto his back instead.
He took a deep breath and narrowly dodged a bullet that whizzed unnervingly close to their heads. Hobie yelled again.
“Okay, okay, okay,” Spiderman began, speaking quickly. “Hold on, okay? Hold on tight. Just hold on and do not let me go for even a second!”
“On it!” Hobie shouted back, legs kicking a bit before wrapping themselves tightly around Spiderman’s torso.
They both took a breath and then Spiderman jumped, gaining some air before twin webs erupted from his web shooters-- aimed directly towards the seating area entrance.
Together, he and Hobie rocketed from their airborne position towards their escape route once the fluids connected to solid architecture. To his credit, Hobie only whimpered a little bit through the ride.
The thugs had no chance! They stumbled on tired, aching legs towards the very door the two teens had left out of, complaining and cursing some more as they searched through the steps and made their way out onto the theatre’s general admission and concessions area.
They searched and searched through the bushes and trees, going so far as to even check the sculptures near the structure.
After several tense moments of gruff shouting back-and-forth, the search eventually died down until only a couple of the men were left sweeping the area once more. The others had already given up their fruitless endeavor and called it a night.
“Fucking kids, man. What the hell,” Spiderman heard one of them grumble before kicking at the Romeo and Juliet statue angrily and following the rest of his cohorts down the path towards the Great Lawn again.
Hobie and Spiderman let out matching sighs of relief then, happy to have given the men the slip by managing to hide behind the giant 3D Delacorte Theatre sign right above the box offices. Lucky for them, most people don’t think to search behind lit-up signs, so they went completely undetected.
“… Wanna let me know what you were doing here this whole time? You could’ve gotten killed!” Spiderman breathed. He wanted his tone to be sharper, more authoritative… but he was just so glad to see his new friend still in one piece instead of riddled with more holes than a chunk of swiss cheese!
Hobie scoffed, tucking a loc behind his ear and sitting back. Thanks to the lighting of the sign and the other park lights in the area, Spiderman could see him digging around in his coat pocket and fishing out-- a USB drive?
Hobie held it up triumphantly, sleepy down-turned eyes glistening with pride.
“I got it! Suckers! Screw them by the way, I’m not the thief, if that’s what you’re wondering,”
Well. He was sneaky, alright. Spiderman had to hand that to him, at the very least.
He sat back on his heels as well and exhaled. “Fine. I believe you. What’s on that drive?”
Hobie squinted at him then, really giving him a good once-over now that the excitement had officially died down. “…Damn. You’re Spiderman,”
“Yeah, yeah. Hey, hi, nice to meet you, I’m your friendly neighborhood Sp-- ugh, seriously man, just tell me what all of that was back there or else I’m webbing you up and calling the cops.”
“Hey!” Hobie objected. “Like I said already, I’m the good guy here. I snagged this from those guys because I caught them snoopin’ around the museum over that way. I followed them and found out they were stealing this!”
Spiderman bobbed his head. “Okay? And what’s on it?”
Hobie turned the drive over a bit in his hands, admiring it. “Most likely? Security codes, schedules, maps. I’ve been uh… investigating those dudes for a while after watching them sniff around the museum for a few days now. It looks like they were just art thieves plannin' a heist, so I jumped on the opportunity to deliver justice myself.”
Hobie’s mischievous grin was met by Spiderman’s disapproving stare.
“And why didn’t you just call security and let them know? Like I said, super dangerous thing you did back there! If I wasn’t there to save you, you could’ve died, man.”
Hobie pocketed his USB drive again and rolled his eyes. “Y’know, for a vigilante hero with cool superpowers, you sure are a square.”
Spiderman sat up and placed a hand on his chest, feigning hurt. “Oof, ow. That’s mean,”
“Yeah, it is, but you know I’m right. If a kid like me walked up to some cops and tried to warn them of a possible art heist, you just know those pricks’ll laugh in my face and do literally nothing about it. I had to take matters into my own hands!” Hobie jutted his chin out defiantly.
Well. Couldn't really argue with that, especially considering PDNY’s less-than-stellar track record of taking preventative measures most times. All that they would most likely do is nod along to whatever Hobie was telling them and chuckle, shaking their heads as they walk away. Not their problem.
Spiderman rubbed his chin. “Point taken," he conceded. "So what’s your plan now?”
Hobie glanced around, as if he was checking for any eavesdroppers. “I’m gonna submit some photos to a journalist I met online before turning this in back to the museum. The journalist’ll help get those guys behind bars once a story's published and some actual adults talk to the cops. I am going to go collect my reward,”
Spiderman blinked. He had a bunch of questions swimming in his head, but the first question out of his mouth was, “what reward?”
“The reward for turning in precious security info, genius!” Hobie tapped at his forehead with a finger and grinned. “If I get to negotiate with them, I can get some money to save up and-- uh. Nevermind. Listen, are you gonna rat me out or not?”
Miles’ brow creased behind his mask. “… I don’t think I will. Sounds like you’re doing the right thing… mostly.”
Hobie cheered silently. “Yes! Okay, I take it back, Spidey. You are cool!”
Spiderman sighed. “But first, I need to know you’re gonna be safe. Like, actually, and that you’re not gonna get followed home.”
Hobie shrugged nonchalantly and pushed more locs out of his face again. “Yeah, you can walk me home if you want,”
“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, that’s not the only thing I mean. I need you to promise me that you’re not gonna get into stupid stunts like this again. That was so dangerous and you really could’ve gotten hurt!”
Hobie exhaled as well. He stared intensely into the mask’s giant white lenses for a beat, making Spiderman shift uncomfortably.
Then, he held up his pinkie. “… Fine. I won’t do stupid shit like this again. I promise.”
Spiderman blinked a few more times and hooked his pinkie onto Hobie’s. “Uh. Okay, cool! Cool, that’s what I wanna hear, considering keeping New Yorkers safe is my job! I just wanna see you safe, that’s all. No more art heists, you gotta leave that to the professionals to handle,”
“What, professionals like you? You might’ve not even gotten to them in time before they snuck off with like millions of dollars worth of art, bro.”
“Anyone ever tell you you are just so mean? Dontcha have a little faith in me? The ‘vigilante hero with cool superpowers’?” Spiderman shot back.
They both laughed.
“Seriously, though. I do appreciate the fact that you saved my ass back there,” Hobie admitted, eyes cast downwards for a second. “I was actually gonna throw this thing into the lake and hope this drive got eaten by like… a fish or something.”
“And what about you?” Spiderman smiled despite himself.
“Well,” Hobie shrugged. “If I died, I died. I guess,”
It was Spiderman’s turn to scoff now. “You have a family, man. Don’t be ridiculous. You have friends and family that would miss you!”
Hobie’s expression turned dark, his entire face shadowing for a second before being replaced by cool detached nonchalance. A slight hint of annoyance stayed put underneath.
“… My family’s barely my family. I don’t have any friends, either. Don't worry about me.” Hobie admitted in a clipped tone. He stood up abruptly and started doing some casual stretches.
Spiderman stood up as well, knowing fully well how this song and dance was going to go.
He would never admit it out loud, but he’d seen his fair share of self-destructive citizens throwing themselves into the middle of danger in the short time he’d been doing this whole vigilante thing. He had talked many a melancholy or manic person from tossing themselves off of multiple different buildings, different bridges, stopped them from “falling” onto train tracks.
And as loath as he is to admit it, this Hobie’s particular brand of cool detachment was entirely too familiar to him as well.
A flash of his uncle Aaron’s face lit up a part of his brain that he hadn’t really allowed himself to acknowledge since that fateful day. He quickly stamped that out.
He cleared his throat and rubbed at his neck. “… Well. That sounds pretty depressing, man.”
He didn’t notice Hobie’s shoulders hitch at that phrase.
“But,” Spiderman continued, “You got people out here who care about you, even if you don’t know it. You’re still so young, you could be ending your life before you even meet, like, your favoritest person in the whole world, right? So just do me a quick favor, take care of yourself. For me. Live long enough to meet your favorite person, alright?”
Spiderman put on his best comforting expression that he could despite the mask most likely getting in the way of Hobie fully seeing it. He hoped his words were enough to convince him not to dive off the deep end, at least not anytime soon.
It seemed to work at least a little bit, because Hobie looked back at him with a much warmer-- albeit hesitant-- expression.
“Can I ask you something?” Hobie finally said after a few moments of silence.
“Uh, sure.” Spiderman replied.
“Do you know about a kid named Miles Morales at all?”
The air was sucked out of Spiderman’s lungs right then as he floundered like a fish for a minute, brain working into overdrive to make his answer sound both intelligent and convincing.
“U-uh, maaaybeee? I dunno, I meet a lot of New Yorkers everyday and I don’t get many names, yanno? S-sounds familiar, but sorr--”
“I knew it,” Hobie exhaled a laugh and surged forward to embrace Spiderman with both arms.
Spiderman stood frozen in his place, arms held in mid-air as he worked to process this.
“Uh. What--”
Spiderman felt Hobie’s chin dig into the side of his cheek a little as he turned his lips to his ear. “Your secret’s safe with me, by the way. I’m not telling anyone,”
Miles felt his whole world turn on its axis before shattering completely.
Oh no, no, no, no, no! Goddamnit!
Miles pushed Hobie off and stepped back, holding his hands up. “Oh hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. I dunno what you’re thinking or who you think I am, but--!”
Hobie sighed loudly. “Miles, I saw your suit.”
The world screeched to a halt.
Hobie picked his gaze back up off of his feet and even seemed apologetic, almost. “I, uhm. Like, back on the roof. At Visions. I wasn’t… a hundred percent sure I saw it, since it could’ve been any logo at all, but. Well, you’re a pretty bad liar too, y’know that, right?”
Miles sucked in a slightly shaky breath, gulping loudly. “Uh. W-well,”
Hobie smiled shyly. “You, uh… you’re like around the same height as Miles Morales, anyways. And you sure sound a lot like him, too.”
Damn. Damn it all.
Miles spun this way and that, placing his hands atop his head as he panicked slightly. “H-Hobie, you cannot tell anyone else about this, whatsoever. Do you understand? No one. At all. Or we’re both dead!”
Hobie held his hands up, lines creasing in his face. “Look bro, you’ve got secrets of mine too. We pinkie promised, remember? I don’t break promises.”
Miles didn’t point out that the promise was so that Hobie would stop getting himself into stupidly dangerous situations, but he accepted it anyways, albeit reluctantly.
“D-do… do you actually, like actually promise me you’ll never breathe a word about this to anyone? Ever? At all?”
Hobie held up his right hand into the air, as if taking an oath. “I, MJ, solemnly swear to never breathe a single word to anyone about your super secret identity, so help me god.”
Miles planted his fists on his hip and shook his head. “Oh my god,” he exhales on a shaky laugh.
“Don’t you believe me? What would I have to gain by selling you out? Oh,” Hobie stops suddenly, perking up. “We could even work together! I got me my sweet camera and my extensive connects, man. Think about it!”
“No, no. Hobie. Stop that, man. I’m not putting you into any danger after I just saved your skinny butt. Spiderman doesn’t do sidekicks anyways,”
Hobie looked a bit put out, but shrugged anyways. “Well, I mean… think about it sometime. We could seriously take down criminal activity around here, if you’re down! And, uh. You do have my number,”
Miles looked up and took a deep breath. “Mmnyes, I do. I do have your number. That’s… I mean you’re not wrong about that. Listen, I think it’s getting pretty late and we should both be heading back home now, though.”
The corners of Hobie’s mouth curled up mischievously. “True, true. It is a school night, after all.”
Miles couldn’t stop grinning despite the heavy anvil that threatened to burst out of his chest. “Yep, yes it is! Okay, time to get you home now. C’mon, let’s go.”
Miles moved to step into Hobie’s space and carry him on his back again so he could lower the both of them down from the lip of the theatre roof.
But before that happened, he felt Hobie place a cold but strong hand on his shoulder, stopping him.
Miles looked up inquisitively and felt his breath catch in his throat as he felt those same hands slowly slide up the smooth spandex of his suit, up his shoulders, and then they stopped at his neck, at the seam of where his suit and mask met.
The entire thing probably only took a few seconds to do, but to Miles it felt like eons passed as he felt every single muscle twitch and the pulse beating underneath Hobie’s skin while he ran those fingers up his arms.
He was standing so close to him! Oh god!
The entire ordeal was unbearably intimate, and Miles could barely stop the shudder that wracked his body suddenly.
Hobie’s soft lips were slightly parted, the lighting of the sign next to them caught in the dark brown portals that were his eyes.
“U-uhm. Sorry, this is weird...” he mumbled quietly. But his hands didn't move.
All around them, crickets started their soothing chorus.
Here they were, right behind the giant lettering of the Delacorte Theatre, intertwined in each other’s arms on a cold night-- and Miles’ core body temperature has never felt hotter before. He felt like he could melt steel, the way this night was going. He didn’t know when his hands raised to grasp onto Hobie’s arms, but they must’ve done it of their own accord because Miles then felt himself squeezing softly onto Hobie’s biceps.
Slowly, painstakingly, and carefully… Hobie made his move.
Every centimeter of the mask being pushed up was accompanied by a soft look that asked-- no, it begged-- for permission to continue. His hands seemed to move on their own eventually, as he slid the mask up over the back of Miles' head and then eased it up off of his nose.
Hobie wore a soft look of determination then, that fully came into view again once Miles felt his mask slide right up off of his eyes. Hobie’s soft hands eventually fell away, mask in one hand, no sounds in the air except for the wildlife of the park starting to wake now that the night has officially fallen.
Miles wasn’t sure why he did, but he held his breath.
After a few seconds of appraising gazes from each other, pupils meeting pupils, exchanging a million words a second with just a few looks… Hobie grinned beautifully.
“Damn. There you are,”
Miles felt a plume of heat erupt from his gut and rush up to his face. “Uh. Hm, y-yep. Here I am,” he blinked back at Hobie with his big brown eyes.
Hobie had a look of pure joy on his face before it started to melt away suddenly. “You know… I should backstab you for abandoning me out of nowhere that one time, though… I really should...”
The moment collapsed like an undone web, a delicate thing now completely destroyed as Miles leaped up in indignation.
“Hobie!”
Hobie stepped back and laughed loudly. “Re-lax! I’m not gonna actually do it. But. Y’know.”
“And if you do, I’ll leave you webbed up to that billboard near Visions,” Miles threatened, mostly light-heartedly.
“Psshh, and then get my mom’s two million lawyers on your ass? Good luck,”
“As if they could ever catch me! I’m Spiderman!”
Just as easily as they had stepped out of being just kids for a moment, they stepped right back into it, bickering like they'd been friends since forever.
Miles lowered the both of them from the sign and they headed towards the eastern side of the park, making their way over to Hunter’s Gate. They bickered and bantered back and forth the entire way there, and it was only once they made it to the outer gates of the park that Miles stopped them both.
With his mask back on and other New Yorkers now milling nearby, Miles made it a point to lower his voice as he turned to Hobie and puffed his chest out heroically.
“So, random citizen. Where are we off to today? I told you I’d take you back home safely, and that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“’Cause you promised, right?” Hobie smirked, tucking his hands into his coat pockets.
“Uhm. Yeah, yeah. I did. So, lead the way!” Spiderman made a grand ushering gesture, and Hobie chuckled good-naturedly as he stepped aside and exited Central Park.
“You gonna walk me home, Spiderman?” Hobie threw him a side-long glance.
“Yyyeah…? Why? You’d rather swing home?”
“I liked swinging, actually. Yeah,” Hobie stopped where he was on the sidewalk and nodded with an air of finality. “Yeah… let’s swing!”
Spiderman felt his heart do a few somersaults in his chest before he gestured towards his shoulders. Hobie quickly assumed the position, long lanky arms wrapping around him and leaning his body weight against Spiderman’s side.
Spiderman shot up a web to a nearby street lamp and gave his friend one more glance.
“You sure?” He asked again, really making sure that Hobie was okay with this. Not many people really liked swinging, which was understandable. Even Miles wasn't the biggest fan of it at times.
Hobie chuckled and ignored the onlookers as they slowly ambled past the two, throwing the teens questioning glances as they made their way past them.
“Yeah, I am! Let’s go,”
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Miles: Do you actually actually really like on your LIFE promise that you’re not ginna tell a soul about… well…
Miles: gonna*
MJ: Yes, Miles. I PROMISE [eyeroll emoji]
Miles: I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE
MJ: Do you actually, though? ;)
Miles: No. But I can find out… I got connects
MJ: Uh huh. I’ll tell your “connects” that if you don’t take me out on that promised lunch date, our friendly neighborhood Spiderman just might be the next trending topic on ALL social media apps again very soon……..
Miles: Oh my god. You are Evil. I can’t believe this. My next arch nemesis… damn
Miles: What a killer plot twist. The greatest foe I have yet to face happens to be none other than one of my very own classmates
Miles: It be ya own people
From his family’s Lower Manhattan penthouse, Hobie laughs out loud as he reads the text messages, ignoring all of the curious glances thrown his way by various members of his team.
From Miles’ own humble dorm room at Visions, he laughs aloud as well.
#spiderverse#mine#miles morales#hobie brown#<- well i mean not really but yall know what i mean#hope u guys enjoyed this lil installment! <3#i tried to make the action as entertaining as possible but y'all must know.... that it really is my weak spot so if you guys read all that#and went 'huh'#well then.... Understandable Have A Nice Day!#but listen mj is more often than not a total bamf in the comics and so to make 1610's mj not nearly as cool#esp when this is HOBIE we're talkin abt here... that would be criminal. so i did what i had to do#and i'm trying to like uuhhhh not do an Exposition Dump on hobie jones' character all at once#just sorta drip feeding y'all his backstory before we Get Into It ya feel me#also @ everyone leaving nice comments so far. I LOV YOU :) <3#thank u!#sorry abt the messy ass art on this chapter. i rushed it as i'm sure y'all can tell#they also dont match up 1:1 on the story bc i did the sketches initially before i wrote all this#just as concept art before sitting down to write so i meannnn! but! they came out p close to the finished product#so i was like 'ok close enough lets just ink it and be done'#hope yall still like them anyhow LOL oops#anyways..... i gotta quit my yappin'#see yall on the next one <3#punkflower#← almost forgot to tag oof
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natlan 5.1 was batshit insane but i won't deny cookery when i see it. last 1/3 of the archon quest is just brilliantly done in my opinion, from writing to level design to soundtrack. just genuine excellence
#sev.screams#natlan#the character centric parts were rather weak to me#ororon has an intriguing arc but i don't care enough about him to care about the arc#similarly i only felt a surface level investment with a lot of the other main cast; though funnily enough excluding citlali#she's a breath of fresh air amongst the cast and i really enjoyed her screentime#there are a lot of story decisions in this quest that i'm impressed and glad hoyo decided to take; it adds a layer of realism to natlan tha#was missing in inazuma and ultimately i believe was the reason inazuma flopped as a nation#there is real tangible weight in the things that happen in natlan; i felt moved by the story and i think that's the hallmark of a good stor#i hope in the next archon quest they don't undo or undermine these decisions in any way. they truly contributed so much to the overall tone#of the story that to remove them would be like taking the legs out from underneath it#writing aside the environmental storytelling and level design also contributed so much to crafting the atmosphere of this quest#it felt gut wrenching in a way inazuma never did. for even the briefest moment these npcs were people and you were watching them struggle#a poignant beautiful desperate struggle that i think is so incredibly human and both moving and heartbreaking to witness#also helped by the exquisite ost. hoyomix has certainly not lost their touch even with yu peng chen gone#despair hope triumph relief; all captured so wonderfully in a score i know i will be listening to for the next few weeks once it drops#i'm rambling so much but. i liked this a lot and i can only hope hoyo sticks the landing on this one#i hate having high expectations but i can't help it for this one i fear
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I GOT IDEA ☝️🤠‼️‼️
I think that Wolfwood has strong hands not only in the sense of strength but also in resistance, so when he punches or smacks Vash on his prosthetic he doesn’t really feel too affected by punching the hard material and barely notices it like yeah it’s harder than flesh but it’s whatevs
In addition to that, he has found that with Vash he doesn’t measure his strength a lot so sometimes he hits him a tad too hard
So to expand my panicked “oh shit sorry” eldest sibling Wolfwood response agenda when he accidentally fucks up, sometimes he will smack Vash’s left arm playfully and Vash will hiss in pain or act a little too real (not so exaggerated) when he gets the hit, and indulges in the way WW is all oh no oh fuck sorry uh did it really hurt that bad while Vash is doubling over in pain when he’s actually pressing down a laugh
It always takes Wolfwood a little too long to realize it’s not his actual arm and when he does come to realize it, he gets embarrassed but the violent kind of embarrassed and he hits him so hard Vash always considers not doing it again
He does it again at least once a week, and Wolfwood somehow falls for it every single time and the beatings get worse than the one before that
#Vash is canonically a little shit so many times we need more of that#that one ‘my arm fell off’ from the beginning of tristamp is what prompts me to think he jokes around with his prosthetic often#also WW hits Vash really hard we’ve seen that. but when he doesn’t mean it to his primal instinct wakes up and he doesn’t know what to do#as another possibility I think that he would be like yeah idc whatever boo to you and your weak ass#but would be extra careful the next time he considers hitting him#by extra I mean slightly less hard which isn’t saying a lot#this doesn’t have a point nor is it really that deep. It’s just a silly thought#old brother Nico and young brother (for minutes most likely) Vash will behave certain ways in my head#and it’s always hilarious to me specifically#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#lenssi rambles
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daily whistlebreeze until spo becomes PoV day 1398
I like seeing how different I can make gray cats by throwing Whis at them; anyways, Spotfur's been on my mind tonight
#warrior cats#whistlebreeze#spotfur#windclan#medicine cat#warrior#mostly thinking about all the potential she has that was never really used#how Spotfur's rebellion flopped so badly by being Like That#and how she literally stopped existing in ASC#woman has a COMPLICATED relation with having children because her mate died#next arc she's just a generic queen#goddamn these books piss me off sometimes with how neglectful they are about their characters#and it's not like this surprises me. Let's remember I am DAILY WHISTLEBREEZE#I have been drawing a random nobody for nearly four years now and you can still barely give anything Specific about Whis from the books#yeah FrostWhistle. Whis is kind and helpful and they saved each other and it's cool#yeah Ivypool's heart is a thing#but does it really characterise Whis in any interesting way whatsoever?#in my opinion not really no#I've searched fro every instance of Whis appearing on screen and it's mostly Whis being thrown around by the plot or the other cats#or by a fucking rabbit#a few cool things you can say is how Determined Whis was to save Leafkit. that's something#and you could also say that Whis prioritising helping Frost above obeying The Code is something too#but you have to Extrapolate all of this#the books don't give you any insight on what's going on in Whis' mind#and they won't#and that's what they do to most cats in their books#and we all know it and we all just see canon happen and then take the bits that interest us and make it Better#and yeah Spotfur is one of those cats that would really enjoy that treatment#Spotfur has drama on both a political level and interpersonal one (Bris Stem her kits and even her siblings just fucking off n stuff)#and they made her such a weak character by giving us Spotfur's rebellion
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ok sitting down for a moment at disneyland. elaborating on the post-beat concert shenanigans in the tags
#for those of you invested in my silly misadventures#ok so .#there was the meet n greet earlier which as i said was short but very nice and i was squimshed against ade for the photo#AFTER THE SHOW . go around the concert venue to the area by the stage door#but unlike the beacon theatre we were a long ways away from the stage door it was the huge parking lot and we were fenced off#and based off of the spars concert from last year at the beacon where the guys just left after we waited for almost an hour#i didnt really expect the beat guys would come over or anything but i was willing to wait a while#and wait a while we did and then danny carey came out and eventually came over to us and was really sweet and signed stuff#he wasnt taking any photos but was very nice just like the epitome of fun drummer guy#waited a while more. doubting still that the other guys would come over#next was adrian! and being the absolute sweetie he is he did come over and everything abt him is true#hes just the most wondrous sweet guy ever. he was also radiating comforting dad energy bc that annoying prog fan was there again#and ade was kind of like nicely protective where i was w my friend#ade also liked my inner revolution shirt and remembered me from the meet n greet :)#waited a while more and then eventually steve vai came out and well im sorry what can i say . i was 😵💫#it didnt help that when he signed my poster (as the other guys had before him) that like. his hand was resting on my hand god anyway#im sorry. old men musicians are my number one weakness as anyone whos been following me knows#oh i had gotten a blurry photo w ade and then got a flash photo w steve. its horrifying <3#we waited like an hour more for tony who was on a long ass phone call#but very nicely he came over too and somehow the photo w him turned out nicest. hes such a sweet polite guy#he also sounds like ron mael kinda lol#and thats my adventure!#and now ive spent an obscene amount to see em again. god
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#shedinja#now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever#y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think#you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is#so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago#and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months#i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago#by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up#while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease#and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for#if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear#i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur#spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next#also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there#because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE#you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there#you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here
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GX Finalized-Subs!118 (WIP): Reason to Live (Required OST)
#GX#yugioh#yugioh gx#ygo#ygo gx#yu-gi-oh gx#yu-gi-oh! gx#Professor Cobra#Judai Yuki#Rick#Yubel#[i mean technically it's the very weak first form that becomes the Boy of Light which then becomes Yubel buuuut]#subbing rambling#encoding 117-119 now! should have them up in the next day or two :)#also it continues to amuse me how 4Kids cut out Rick's death by fading from Cobra's turning-to-the-street shot just before#to the post-eyecatch scene where we see him back with the arm lol#they at least offscreened it well enough by saying Rick became 'very ill' and Viper was being given a chance to 'get him back'#also i do love how Cobra's 'Rick!!' happens on a total cut to black before the show's logo fades in for the eyecatch#such a good scene and it does make you feel why Cobra would 'believe all that' [per Johan] from the arm about bringing him back#when 'the dead can't come back to life' [also per Johan]#[also see what i did with that one link there]#also such a good second use of the 'Lamentation' OST track here (first use being with the Crying Scarknight scene in 114)#[why is it so hard to find on its own on YT 😩]
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Why don't you like log off for good? Nobody ever really interacts with you or cares what you have to say
Holy fuck loser do you only do things for the validation and attention of others?
Get a fucking grip.
#ur not even right 😃#ur just dumb and mean and unimaginative#or you would have found one of my actual weak spots to attack#better luck next time‚ chumbo
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oh so i kinda confessed that i feel useless to my family but apparently i’m actually the cheerleader/clown/‘heart’ of the family who helps them get through things emotionally……. they didn’t say or even imply this but i think i’ve been slacking on that front
#after finding out i may have overblown the severity of the situation i was able to look at things a little more objectively#at least in terms of psychology so i could remind my dad that him crying in front of me for the first time in like ten years isn’t weakness#without breaking down again#we all had a good group hug it was nice#but when that happens my dog gets cares because she thinks it’s some sort of altercation lmao#money will still be tight but no significant sacrifices need to be made#can’t wait to actually do the volunteer work i said i would do for the animal shelter once it gets cooler#also the pool at my barely-a-job job is getting cleaned tomorrow so i’ll get to swim once more without clearing the filters myself#(well me and my dad…. i actually made a game of leaf diving for the extra sunken mulberry castings from the tree in the next yard#after we pulled a bunch of leaves out of the flapper thing and skimmed most of the leaves from the drain)#(I put a single chlorine tab in one of those floating things so after all of that it started flowing a lot better and looking cleaner)
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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In talking about Chaucer (p. 74), I said that, in general, puns and verbal connections of sound were unimportant and not to be sought out; and now, you will say, I have been using them to explain cruces in Shakespeare. Alas, you have touched on a sore point; this is one of the less reputable aspects of our national poet. A quibble is to Shakespeare [Johnson could not but confess] what luminous vapours are to the traveller; he follows it at all adventures; it is sure to lead him out of his way and sure to engulf him in the mire. It has some malignant power over his mind.... A quibble was for him the fatal Cleopatra for whom he lost the world, and was content to lose it. Nor can I hold out against the Doctor, beyond saying that life ran very high in those days, and that he does not seem to have lost the world so completely after all. It shows lack of decision and will-power, a feminine pleasure in yielding to the mesmerism of language, in getting one's way, if at all, by deceit and flattery, for a poet to be so fearfully susceptible to puns. Many of us could wish the Bard had been more manly in his literary habits, and I am afraid the Sitwells are just as bad.
William Empson, 7 Types of Ambiguity, ch 2 pp 100-101
i'm sorry this is so fucking funny. that pathetic loser shakespeare who loved puns so much it cost him everything, except of course his status as the most famous, most read, most immortal english-language author of all time. but everything else, he lost and it's all because of how weak he was to resist a pun :/ pouring one out for my sad little girly man who could have had it all if only he was better at writing, the thing he is the most famous guy in the world for.
even empson, who disagrees with johnson that shakespeare "lost the world", is like, too bad our favorite poet is susceptible to the thing that made him famous :/ really tragic that the guy whose wordplay we've been talking about for 300 years likes wordplay :///
also i can't get over writing a book about the types of ambiguity and NOT INCLUDING PUNS?? sorry but puns are ambiguous! that's where their juice comes from! imagine liking ambiguity so much you write a book about it but never mention puns except to dunk on them. imagine being a POET and POETRY CRITIC who looks down on sound-based ambiguity! could not be me!!
#puns are a device just as much as any other kind of ambiguity! this value judgment is hilariously nonsensical to me#why are puns bad but other ambiguities aren't? you can't just call them feminine and expect me to be like oh okay in that case#next time my dad makes a pun i'm just going to sigh sadly about his lack of decision and willpower#what a feminine pleasure in yielding to the mesmerism of language i will say. not very manly of you dad :/#i'm annoyed too because one of the types of ambiguity he respects is when one word has multiple meanings possible#in the context of the text. but that is in a sense a kind of pun. he says puns are homophonic but guess what#when one word has multiple meanings another way of saying that is that those are different words that happen to be spelled the same#that is then homophonic ambiguity! aka a fucking pun!!!!#i'm not just quibbling over the exact definition of a pun. i'm saying the boundaries are THAT porous i don't see how you could possibly#like semantic ambiguity as long as the spelling is identical but suddenly think it's facile when the spelling/etymology is different#that's not at all based in rational thinking but he's over here like 'the mesmerism of language is for girls'#pot meet kettle much???#poetry#ambiguity#puns#shakespeare#my posts#there was one other thing i was gonna say what was it. OH YEAH. he also was saying a few pages back that spelling was completely#unstandardized in shakespeare's time...so then why does it matter???#okay and one more thing. he keeps trying to convince me that various verses are syntactically ambiguous if you ignore the punctuation#okay. if we're ignoring punctuation we must be hearing it orally. which means we also don't know what spelling was used!!!!#i think probably he would say he cares more about etymology than spelling. words with different meanings that are etymologically#related are allowed and manly but words with different meanings that came from different roots are a weakness to be avoided#like i'm sorry dude but that is so arbitrary. and you are just cutting yourself off from an immensely rich body of possible ambiguities#by disallowing that kind of wordplay. why would you want to do that????
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