#the next guy has to very much go ‘’i like you and i am not repulsed by your personality/interests/hobbies’’ yk

[mohntilyet]

illario as the grandchild that is most like caterina is something i'm loving to chew on. the grandson that took her lessons to heart the most. kill anyone who sees your face and knows your name, "we are not revolutionaries", the first out of the two to prioritise the contract. power at any cost, and the only one to lean into the unnecessary abuse that their grandmother told them was tradition. why is anyone surprised he allied with the venatori? and then there's illario's considerable skill in infiltration and manipulating any mark, he has always had the charisma that lucanis lacked. illario isn't attached, he has/can/will use someone and immediately drop them; "that does free me from promises i don't intend to keep". he can lie about how much he cares so well that he fools a magister into believing he loves her. he kills zara without hesitation to cover his own tracks, meanwhile lucanis blindly promises a young girl in the middle of a siege that he will help her find her father. even the lessons about family stick with him, and in this entire messy power struggle, he never actually orders anyone to directly kill caterina or lucanis, not until he's backed into a corner.

and even after all that. despite even lucanis believing illario should be first talon, lucanis is still the better killer. illario is not strong enough to be the brutal assassin caterina needs him to be. so when lucanis seems to fill the role his mother left, grief and love for her dead heir apparent remains, and any of the other qualities caterina needs in her next talon doesn't matter. whatever his mother was, lucanis has to be. what illario does doesn't matter, because he will always be second best to caterina's memory of her favored daughter.

[mayakern]

I honestly don’t know how to write this; I have spent all week attempting to figure out what to say.

Last Monday I was informed by our factory that our merchandiser and direct point of contact with the factory passed away unexpectedly two weeks ago. She was someone who I have spent a great deal of time speaking to ever since we switched factories two years ago. She helped us realize designs for new products, sent us samples of garments extremely quickly and kept track of all our orders. She went to bat for us if something went wrong with our print shop or if I was unhappy with how a garment pattern was interpreted by their team. As their first American client and a brand that focuses on size inclusion, something that is not typical of their other clients, she handled a lot of crazy requests from us without blinking and she was dedicated to ensuring that both us and our customers were happy. We talked nearly every day, and though it was work related she was one of the kindest people I have had the pleasure interacting with daily.

She was beyond dedicated to her work and to working with us. Turkey has an 11-hour time difference from me in California, which means when she was emailing me at 2pm in the afternoon it was 1am there. You can sure bet that I extended her the same courtesy and tried my best to answer her emails at night too, even when I would rather just be sleeping.

It was also clear just how much she loved her job, and now much she loved you guys. She had been silently watching our social media since we first started working with them. She got just as excited as we did on launch days and would often email me unprompted about how she was glad people were leaving such positive comments and reviews. She read your feedback when no one ever asked her to do that or even expected it of her. She did it because she really, really cared.

Even though she was miles away and we never met in person, she was like a coworker to me and the loss of her is like losing someone on our team.

The Maya Kern team, as a whole, has been dealing with a lot lately. I personally just moved (which took far longer than we expected) and Maya and Devin are gearing up to move back to Minneapolis pretty soon. With the loss of our merchandizer, it has taken the wind out of my sails a little bit. I was trying to push through, even though I am exhausted, and carry out the photo shoot for our new products this weekend, but it has become clear that my body just can’t handle it. My arthritis has finally told me to stop moving, so unfortunately, we are going to have to reschedule the shoot for later on.

We are doing everything we can to make sure our next product drop on the 21st still happens. But as of right now, due to this sudden loss, the garments haven’t even shipped from the factory yet and I am not optimistic that they will clear customs and get checked into the fulfillment center in time for the launch. This means the drop is likely going to be pushed back to December 5th and instead of a full photo shoot, we will probably have to settle for taking quick photos of everyone at home, and likely with our phones. 

We work really hard to deliver not just garments we believe in, but also pictures of said garments on bodies that our customers can relate to, and unfortunately I just do not think that is possible this time. As always, we really appreciate your patience and understanding during what has been a very difficult time for us.

Ash

Chief Operations Officer

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #3: ROT FOR CLOUT

(also on bandcamp and spotify!)

WHAT'S going on guys, welcome back to another Constant Companions Closeup, the show where we take a DEEP DIVE into what makes these tunes tick! Last episode, we went aaaaaall the way there on Not Quite There, and today, we're making that liggity-line go up up up up up with ROT FOR CLOUT featuring VISUALEYES!! Before we get started, remember to SMASH that like button, SLAM subscribe, and FUCK the bell icon. This week's community challenge: leave your credit card info in the comments! Bet you won't!

(*cough*)

---

I check my notifications way too fucking much. It's a habit I'm trying to curb, and to my credit, I am doing better lately, but being chemically predisposed to dopamine deficiencies has done a number on my ability to go five minutes without checking the funny glowing numbers on my phone. Naturally, I also very much seek more validation than I should from the opinions of strangers yadayadayada yeah that's what the song is about but none of that actually has to do with why I started writing this song in the first place.

Have you ever taken a flight with American Airlines?

This was after waking up at 4 in the morning to fly out of Houston thinking I'd be napping on a couch in Ohio by 2 pm at the latest.

I want to make one thing clear here, and that's that I made this bed for myself. Tucked the sheets in and all. You see, on the rare occasions I fly, I normally take Southwest. Southwest does not overbook flights like a lot of other airlines do, so it's a practice I am mostly unfamiliar with. So, when I received a notification on my phone promising genuinely ridiculous amounts of flight credit money in exchange for taking a slightly later flight, I thought - well, shit! That sounds nice!

This is how they trick you. I didn't really realize I'd been tricked until I was on my second flight of the day, sitting in a middle seat at the very back of the plane, heading from Dallas, a city I don't live in, to Washington, DC, a city I was not trying to get to, staring down the barrel of another flight I was destined to get on that had been delayed like two fucking hours.

I became the Joker. All I could do to remain sane was write a song about it. This is how ROT FOR CLOUT came to be.

I guess the moral of the story is this: Don't go to Ohio. And to answer your question,

Yes I am

Not really

No

---

This is a complete sidenote but I want to mention it here: I'm genuinely overjoyed at the amount of people excitedly talking about my songwriting or the intention behind my lyrics. For a long time, it really felt like lyricism was the last thing people cared about from me, while it was always the thing I wanted to take pride in the most... So genuinely, thank you everyone for caring!! Every single fire emoji people have put next to a line I've written has extended my lifespan by multiple years

There's a brief little moment where the song's chords leave the key, doing a really stereotypically jazzy 2-5 movement, and it's one of my favorite parts of the entire song. I'm not really a music theory buff or anything, and I'm certainly not formally trained, but I've always been very passionate about more complicated harmony in otherwise poppy and accessible contexts - bo en's album pale machine really rewrote my brain when I first heard it.

On that note, there are microtones in the vocal melody - During the chorus, some of the rapidly repeated words move up in quarter tones! Possibly the simplest way I could've included microtonality, but I'm genuinely afraid if I learn more than what I already know about it I'll be lost to the darkness.

Obviously, the work of Sasuke Haraguchi was a massive influence on this song, particularly the song Igaku. I think basically everyone on the entire planet has picked up on that at this point, but I do also wanna point out some other songs that were on my mind at the time! (two for three on these posts mentioning louis cole now)

I'd also like to take a moment to spotlight the vocal samples on this! They previously appeared on エビチャーハン!, and they've honestly become some of my favorite samples to throw in things. They're also just a fucking goldmine sincerely

Finally, HUGE thanks to Visualeyes for the delightful synth solo on this!! I had put out a call on Twitter looking for instrumentalists, genuinely originally envisioning a super jazzy piano solo, but their synth playing genuinely brought the whole song together perfectly!

That's about it for this song - though again, if there are any more questions people have, I'd be happy to answer them in the replies to this post or elsewhere!! (*ahem*) THAT'S gonna do it for today's video, folks! Feel free to leave a like, comment, hit the subscribe button for more and click the bell so you don't miss any new videos. Tomorrow? I Wish That I Could Fall. it hurts.

[paraphwrites]

@carpediemma made a poll post about which characters would be who in an alice in wonderland au and none of the one's winning are the ones i want so i will now be justifying my thesis

alice - niko. above all else, alice must be curious and kind. she is also afraid, a lot, because she's in a wild new world - very similar of how niko is scared and in a new world (both ghost/supernatural, america, and a world without her father)

white rabbit - edwin. polite yet preoccupied, punctual yet anxious, obsessive yet unpredictable, always dressed smart... the similarities go on. and while i think some of their actions might not align entirely, i think there is a case to be made for edwin shewing someone along, insisting it must be done his own way

mad hatter - charles. playful, defiant to social norms, bit of an eccentric dress style! though charles is a bit less over the top, i feel that in the right environment, he could go totally mad. hatter has a lot of fun but there is this hint of despair to him which to me, entirely emulates charles

the dormouse - jenny. tired, confused, and underpaid, next question

the march hare - maxine. unpredictable, bizarre, reckless, excitable. not a huge character so not too much to go from but i see some loose similarities in the erratic nature - it's not that they're evil, it's that they're so invested in existence that they might stab you

please do not think of the implications of shipping the dormouse and the march hair i will not be held responsible for that

tweedledee and tweedledum - litty and kingham. petty?? childish?? looks similar??? guys come ON there is no more iconic duo in dbda! they're not very kind, they're not anti violence, they love attention- am i talking about the tweedles, or litty and kingham? you literally can't tell.

the caterpillar - tragic mick. appears when alice is uncertain and needs help, prompts her to reflect on her own identity. not particularly nice but is very helpful and kind, in his own way. calm, almost cryptic, slow manner of speech.

cheshire cat - the cat king. im not gonna explain this one

ok guys bare with me for the next two. they're kinda controversial. i could see them flipped and i did flip them many times but this is what i decided on

the duchess - esther. the duchess is abusive to her child (monty), but can be overly affectionate, as well. duchess is hella comedic in a dark way, she's got a fucked up relationship with power (duchess is a slave to the Queen, esther is a slave to the Snake), she's absurdly contradictory (like esther and her contradiction of wronging girls using lilith's gift)

the queen of hearts - the night nurse. the queen cannot see a way of life other than executions. i know she SEEMS hella emotional, but legit, i think it's more this desperate desire for feelings and sensations because she is so stuck in a loop of being listened to. the night nurse is similarly stuck in this loop of bureaucracy. neither are happy and neither have any true meaning to their lives. they both also seem to lack a nuance to empathy (nurse thinking ends justify the means so no need to feel guilty about the means, almost viewing finding the boys as a game in order to feel SOMETHING). neither would not survive a day in therapy

the king of hearts - kashi. foil to the queen of hearts, very minor character. gentle, soft spoken, trying his best, exists more in his own universe than anywhere else. the key difference is if they went to therapy, kashi's therapist would end up getting therapied, and king would just break down sobbing

the knave of hearts - monty. while if esther was the queen, maybe this would be more apt, but this is my analysis so i'll do what i want. the knave is a victim of absurd injustice, is somewhat sympathetic but ultimately a perpetuater of this same system. monty does the same thing with esther & her abuse. he is also young and handsome which, we've all seen joshua colley, i don't need to explain

the talking rose - crystal (with/pre-david.) haughty, mean, cruel, flirtatious. she's not a villain but she's definitely not on your side. she's critical, both of your looks, personality, and general vibe. but she's also just one of the many flowers, kind of how crystal was just one of the rich kids, not really doing all that much

in this version, i'd have when the flower's roots are freed be the same energy as the boy's getting rid of david. moment of self-transformation, free from curse. i will probably make a follow up post on how i'd do the plot, but i wanted to throw that bit on david out there.

[datapacks]

Hey! I really adore the way you draw textures, as they usually fit with the vanilla art style flawlessly, and wanted to ask for advice. I want to make addons/mods, and maybe a full texture pack someday, but my textures always end up looking kind of flat, lack depth, and look weird when next to vanilla stuff.

Thank you so much :3 as far as advice, I'm afraid I've been doing pixel art for ~15 years now so unfortunately a lot of it is just experience... I do have some tips though! but I am in no place to do a full tutorial at the moment.

Prerequisite: Use paint dot net. It's super beginner friendly, since it's based off of Paint, and it's what has been used for Minecraft textures since the very beginning.

First off, you want to have a block-out palette! For me, it's these 5 colours here:

From here, you'll want to go darkest to lightest; use the darkest tone to outline, then fill in with the 4th tone. Eventually, you'll want to make it so that there are 2-3 outline tones, from darkest to lightest, in accordance to however you're shading. Anything overlapping with the main shape should not use the darkest two tones!

Then you'll want to hit the bright spots not with your mid-tone or your highlight, but with your second lightest tone! This way, you leave room to highlight And shade your highlights. You've effectively made 5 different palettes to use to shade different parts (1-2, 1-2-3, 2-3-4, 3-4-5, 4-5). Whenever you feel like you're ready, switch out this palette for something more in line with what you're doing- depending on what material you're going for, this can happen super early on or way late. Whenever I do something Metallic, I like to switch to a gold palette as soon as possible.

Another thing to keep in mind is minecraft's palette limitations! Generally speaking, try to keep textures to 5-9 colours, filling in between as needed. If you use more base colours, feel free to expand, but do not go over 15 if you can help it. A good rule of thumb for adding additional colours is that you should try to limit them to 3 tones.

When choosing a palette, there's no problem with going with any pre-existing item's colours! In fact, this can be super helpful even when you want to use your own colours, just as a reference.

When you do want to make your own palette, my advice is to choose a strong colour, any hue, saturation in the 60-80 range, value in the 70-90 range. To get strong shading in your palette, drop the value by ~5, increase the saturation by ~5, and shift the hue towards blue by ~5. Do this each time from your base colour. Go in the opposite direction to Increase the perceived brightness. Here, I started with the 5th tone.

Obviously, you can tweak these to your liking; your outline colours should end up a lot darker than this generally speaking, and you might want to ramp all the way up to white for your highlights. You'll also generally want your outline colour to end up with like, max 30 Value & at Full Saturation, with your highlight colour at 100 Value & ~50 saturation if you aren't going for Full White. Lets see what that might look like after changing the most extreme values & then blending accordingly.

At the end of the day, my biggest tips are 1) to look at references constantly in both minecraft's existing sprites and other people's sprites! Take what you like, improve on it where you think it could use improvements. & 2) always zoom out! Even if a texture is perfect, if you've been staring at it too long so up close, it's going to feel weird. Minecraft's most common GUI scale is 2x, so scale the image on your screen somewhere where each pixel is exactly 2x2 and you'll get a good feel for how it'll actually look in-game.

One last tip on a more advanced level: if you're using multiple different base colours, always shift to grayscale very often. Your tones should look indistinguishable in grayscale so that you know that the shapes themselves are strong enough to warrant the multiple colours. This is also very good for accessibility!

[allisonistrashh]

Taste SJY

request : please do enhypen smut🥺 please please please!!

pairing: friends dad jake! x reader

word count: 5.2k

summary: ever since you met your best friends dad 2 years ago you have been attracted to him when your friend leaves for college you find yourself spending more time with him

warnings: jake has a nasty mouth aged up jake he is 35 and reader is 22, met when reader was 20, jake is your best friends dad, daddy kink, unprotected sex, choking, multiple orgasms, oral fem receiving, name calling, pet names angel princess baby, just nasty honestly, use of slut

A/N: have had this idea in my drafts for a while so i decided to pull it out for this enha request and jake’s bday but thank you so much for your request!

Waking up to the faint sound of an alarm, you roll over to check the time. The clock reads 8:00 am and you shoot up, looking around the room for your best friend. When you look next to you, still seeing your best friend passed out next to you, you reach over shaking her. “Hey come on, we're gonna be late.” Today was the day your best friend would be moving from community college to an out of state college, and you moving into an apartment not that far from where you lived now.

You were 2 years older than her but you had taken a gap year after highschool when your dad passed away and you guys had met at the community college in a gen ed class. You ended up going to different colleges now, her going to one out of state and you staying at the community one. Your school was actually only 5 minutes from her house now, so you were moving into an apartment closer to her house. You were going with her dad to drop her off today, he wanted to leave around 9 and you knew she had a little bit of packing to do still.

“Get up and pack, girl, your dad wants to leave in an hour.” She groans and rolls over, while you get up and start walking downstairs into her kitchen. You had stayed over at her house last night not wanting to be late to go with them to drop her off. When you walk downstairs you see her dad leaning against the island sipping on a cup of coffee. He's wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants with a white almost see through shirt, causing you to start to blush.

Ever since you became friends with her only 2 years ago at 20 years old there was one subject of your wants and wet dreams, Jake Sim, your best friend Mira’s dad. Obviously he didn’t know this about you, so he was constantly initiating the conversations and such with you.

“Good morning y/n, if you’re hungry there still should be some of the cereal you like here, last time I went shopping I bought another box for you.” He says while turning around to open the cabinet to grab the box out of there for you. He turns back around to face you, setting the box on the island you were now standing in front of. “Thank you Mr. Sim.” You say walking over to the bowls and he laughs. “I told you so many times you’re an adult. You can just call me Jake, besides I'm not that much older than you.” You start pouring your cereal laughing back at him,

“I don’t know 13 years is a whole lifetime.” Jake was a teen dad, having Mira at 15 with his now ex-wife after a very stupid teenage mistake. Jake and his ex wife got a divorce when she was 12, Jake getting custody of Mira after, much to Mira’s dismay, having never liked him as much as she liked her Mom.

Now that she was 20 she decided to attend college in the same state as her mom, much to your dismay with her deciding to leave you behind. Her leaving was hard for you, not having many friends other than her, and also only having your mom. Your dad had left you about 4 years ago, and you were still struggling with it. Your mom also worked a lot as she was a nurse, leaving you home alone most of the time. You decided to move a little bit closer to the school, making your commute shorter.

“Oh yeah 13 years is so long.” He rolls his eyes and sits down across from you at the island. “So once we drop Mira off at school and come back I can help you move some of your things into your new apartment.” You nod and put another spoonful of cereal in your mouth. “Thank you again for helping me, my mom has to work double today so I would have been completely alone.” “Of course it’s no problem at all.” You finish your bowl of cereal in silence before putting your dish in the dishwasher and walking back upstairs to check on your friend. She is now fully up and dressed packing up the rest of her makeup.

“You almost done girl?” She nods, turning around. “I just need your help picking something out.” She saw winking and you turned your head at her. She holds up two different pairs of panties and asks “which one do you think has a better chance of helping me get dicked down?” You throw a pair of rolled up socks she left on her desk at her. “Is that all you’re worried about?” You say laughing and she nods, throwing both pairs in her bag. “Yup and if I was you i’d start worrying about that too. You haven’t done anything in so long, you're starting to get jumpy.’

Your mouth falls open as you look at her. “That is not true.” “Yeah ok and the last time you did doesn't count cause he couldn’t even make you cum. You’ve never even been with a guy who could actually make you cum” You go to open your mouth to respond right as the door swings open, revealing Jake. Your face goes red as you realize he probably heard what his daughter had just said.

If he did hear anything he chooses to ignore it, “Ok ladies 10 more minutes and then we have to hit the road ” You both nod and he walks out closing the door behind him. Mira turns back around and continues packing while you take a deep breath, hoping Jake hadn’t heard his daughter talking about your crappy sex life.

You shake the thoughts out of your head, going to get dressed. After about 8 minutes you and her grab the remaining bags in her room and meet her dad downstairs. “Alright let’s head out.” You guys nod as Mira says one last goodbye to her house and you guys hit the road.

The trip is pretty uneventful, only being an hour and 45 minute drive. Jake stops twice, once for food and another for a bathroom break. Pretty soon you guys make it, luckily she lives on the first floor of the door she’s in, all of you guys carrying multiple bags.

While walking through the dorms, you can feel all the stares in your direction, feeling really uncomfortable knowing they;re all at Jake. Once you finally get to her room, you guys leave the door open, much to Mira’s direction and Jake’s protests. You hear the faint “don’t you know how many girls get kidnapped while at college and you’re gonna leave the door open.” You laugh taking a look around the dorms.

You accidentally run into someone while walking down the hallway, immediately apologizing. “Hey don’t worry about it too much. My name is Heeseung. What's yours?” He says sticking out his hand and you reach forward to shake it. “My name Y/n its nice to meet you.” He smiles when you shake his hand.

“Nice to meet you Y/n pretty name for a pretty girl.” You smile and you already feel like you’re gonna start giggling. “Do you go here ?” He questions and you shake your head. “No, I'm dropping off my best friend.” He gives you a disappointed look. “Awe man I would have loved to get to know you better.” You laugh a little bit and apologize.

You’re about to respond when you hear your name called. “Y/n get back here right now.” You turn around to see Jake looking at you from a couple of doors down. You turn back around and say bye to Heeseung.

“Can I get your number real quick?” You nod your head pulling out your phone and handing it to him. While he’s putting his number in you feel someone come up the side of you. “Y/N I said get back to Mira’s room.” Jake says grabbing your arm. “I’m sorry i’m just getting her number and I’ll give her right back dude.” Jake scoffs and once he sees Heeseung hand back your phone, gently pulls you back to his daughters room.

“Didn’t you just hear what I said to Mira? Do you know how many girls go missing at college and you just wander away from me?” You grab his arm and push it off of you once you get back in the room. “I’m fine.” He just groans and sits on Mira’s bed muttering about how you guys are a lost cause.

About an hour later Mira’s room is done, and you guys are ready to head back home. You say goodbye to Mira first, letting her dad have more time with her at the end. “I’m gonna miss you. You’re gonna make all kinds of friends and forget about me.” You pout and she smacks your shoulder.

“I could never.” She pulls you in for another hug and when she lets go of you she says “Make sure to find a guy who can make you cum while i’m gone.” Your eyes go wide and you look over at Jake, whose ears have gone red. Its your turn to smack her and you tell her to “shut the fuck up.” You walk away from her letting Jake say goodbye to her daughter. After about 5 minutes he’s ready to go and your walking back to Jake’s car. You’re sitting in the passenger seat this time, and you’re now hyper aware of how close Jake is sitting to you.

For the rest of the ride home, you and him make small conversation before you arrive back at his house. “Wait here I just need to grab something and then we’ll head to your house to move you into your apartment ok.” You nod and he walks into his house.

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding and sink back into his passenger seat. A few minutes later he comes back and you guys are on the road again. Once you guys arrive at your house, he helps you load his truck up with all the stuff you were bringing with you. “So you need to give me a copy of your key, just in case something happened and your mom was busy. I’m the closest person to you.” You groan and roll your eyes. He whips his head over to you and glares at you. “Fine don’t give me one see if I care.” “I just don’t understand why your all the sudden so worried about me?” “ I always worry about you Y/n.” You choose to ignore those words and look out the window.

You finally arrive at your apartment and you live on the second floor, so taking everything up took a couple of trips. After about 6 trips you and Jake had managed to get everything up to your apartment, since you were exhausted you decided to take a break and sit down on the small couch you and jake had been able to get into your apartment. Jake decides to walk around a little bit looking at some of the hardware and appliances. When he is done on his tour he decides to plop down next to you.

“You’re not forgetting anything are you?” You shake your head and reassure him. “I’m like 99% sure I have everything.” He nods his head and his eyes roam around the living room. “Everything appliance wise seems good, nothing looks broken or anything.” You nod and thank him again. “Anytime like I said if you need anything just let me know.” You give him a small smile and reach over to give him a hug. “Thanks again Mr. Sim.” He stands up from the couch and grabs his keys, walking to the front door. “Mr. Sim?” He turns back around to look at you. “Yeah what’s up?” “Thank you again I really appreciate you helping me.” “Anytime i’m serious.” He closes the door behind him and you relax back on the couch.

Its taken you a few days to settle in, finally decorating stuff to your liking but you finally feel somewhat comfortable. That is until your 5th night there you hear a knock at your door, looking out the peephole to see a strange man standing in front of your door. You immediately start to feel your heart beat a little faster and you double check that the door is locked. You step back from the door when you hear him start knocking harder and you feel yourself panic.

He starts to shake the handle trying to get in and you run to your phone. You don’t know what comes over you but you decide to call Jake, hoping he is at home, being the closest person to you. After about 4 rings, he picks up.

“Y/n are you ok whats up?” You try to steady your breathing “I think some guy is trying to break into my apartment and I don’t know what to do.” You hear the man trying to open the door some more, and from the way you can hear Jake rustling around on the phone, you can imagine he can hear him too.

“Y/n i’m on my way right now, go into the kitchen. I will be right there ok?” You try to breathe and you tell him ok. He hangs up the phone and you here the man outside your door continue to pound on the door. You’re trying to steady your breathing when you hear the man stop knocking. You hear muffled voices from behind the door, but you don’t try to listen.

“Y/n?” You can make out the voice and you realize that it’s Jake’s. You stand up from the ground you were sitting on and start walking towards the door. You look out the peephole again to see Jake standing outside your door.

You let out a sigh of relief and unlock the door to let him in. He immediately walks in the door and he shuts and locks the door behind him. Seeing the tears running down your cheeks he pulls you into a hug. “Hey you’re ok i’m here now.”

You feel yourself start to cry harder at his words and push your face into his chest. You stand there for a minute letting him rub your back before you pull away from his embrace. Taking in his appearance, you realize that you probably bothered him while he was getting ready for bed.

“I’m sorry Jake, you were probably getting ready for bed.” He immediately shakes his head and looks at the time. “It’s ok Y/n its only 10:30, i’m only 35 it's not my bedtime yet.” You laugh at his words and shake your head. “Have you eaten yet?” You look into the kitchen realizing that the ramen you were trying to make about 3 hours ago remains untouched and uncooked. You shake your head and he sighs. He pulls your arm into your kitchen and tells you to sit down by your island. You have watched Jake make food multiple time in your life, like probably hundreds of times, but nothing will ever top this.

Here he is in a black loose fit shirt, with grey sweats and glasses making you dinner. “Do you have another pack?” You nod and point to the cabinet next to him, he pulls another pack out and adds that to the pot. “You didn’t have to make my food Jake.” He nods and says “I know”. That night you guys sit and talk about new things in life while eating your food.

A routine is formed after that night, Jake often coming over to your house to eat dinner with you. After spending all this time with him you realized something, the only thing keeping him from being lonely was Mira. Once she left for college Jake realized how boring his life actually was. You also finally realized how lonely you were, Mira really being your only friend aside from your 2 other ones, after your break up with your boyfriend about 2 years ago.

Jake was also very good company, honestly he just talked to you like a friend which was comforting compared to your other friends parents. Which made it easy for you to fall for him even more, ever since you have started hanging out with him more. There is just something so attractive about him that gets amplified when you’re alone with him.

Walking out from your kitchen with a bowl of popcorn you go and plop down next to Jake on the couch. “What movie do you want to watch?” You ask him and he shrugs. “I’m not sure of anything that interests you?” He asks while scrolling through his netflix account he now lets you use. You shake your head. You eventually decide on a random movie Jake claims is really good.

About halfway through the movie you find yourself getting bored of it, while Jake is still really into it. You take this opportunity to catch glimpses of his side profile. The fact that he is still single is really surprising to you. Jake turns his head looking at you with a confused look on his face. “Do I look weird or something?” Your eyes widen and you shake your head. “No no i’m sorry I just got distracted.” He laughs and turns his attention back to the tv.

By the time you turn your attention back to the tv, there is a pretty steamy scene on the tv. Your eyes widen watching the 2 actors and you look at Jake out of your peripherals. He is leaned back against the back of the couch with his hand gripping the side of the couch. Seeing him like that has your thighs squeezing together and clearing your throat. Jake turns and looks at you grabbing the remote, pausing the movie.

“I’m sorry Y/n did that make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry.” You shake your head and whisper out and “i’m fine”. He continues staring at you and you loom down at your lap. “Y/n?” You look back up at him and he is staring very intensely at you. “Are you okay?” You shake your head again and he sighs. “You can talk to me whats wrong?” “Nothing I swear Jake just turn the movie back on.” He shakes his head and clicks his tongue at you. He scoots closer to you and you feel your heartbeat get faster.

He puts his hand on the top of your knee, goosebumps shoot up on your whole body. “I need you to be honest with me Y/n, I think I know what you need but I need to hear you say it.” You look up at him feeling nervous. “Jake pleas-” “please what y/n?” Suddenly you feel a rush of confidence come over you and say “touch me.” You feel yourself being pulled up onto his lap, looking down at him. “You’re 100% sure?” You nod and he smiles.

You lean down connecting your lips with him. Your not sure what came over you but you immediately tangle your hands in his hair and grind down against him. Jake moves his hands down to your butt, grabbing you to grind down harder against him.

You whimper against his lips and he bucks his hips up into yours. Your lips separate for the first time and you and him are both panting looking at eachother. “Come on baby lets go to your room you deserved to be fucked in a bed.” You giggle as you stand up and follow him to your room. Once you make it to your room you sit down on your bed waiting for Jake to shut the door.

“Lay down for me?” You nod and position yourself so you’re lying comfortably on your bed. He walks towards your bed and you start to get extremely nervous. He seems to pick up on this “Are you sure you’re ok with this?” You nod eagerly “Yeah i’m just a little nervous”. You admit and he sits down next to you on the bed. “Don’t be nervous baby I’ve got you okay?”

You nod again and he smiles a little bit “Good girl”. He says and you feel your stomach tighten over it and he lays on top of you bringing his lips back down onto yours. You bring your hands back up to grab his hair and his hands go down to rest next to your head, holding himself up. You can’t even begin to describe the feeling of his lips on yours, having dreamt about him for years.

The way he kisses feels so dominant, his soft pillowy lips overtaking yours, his heavy body pressing yours into the bed. You remove your fingers from his hair, bringing your hands down to grip his waist, and he groans into your mouth.

“God Y/n you’re driving me crazy”. He says and you feel yourself grow more wet at the sight of him. He’s looking into your eyes, they’re darker than normal and slightly narrowed down at you, his lips puffy and red, with his hair slightly tousled. “Jake”. You whine out with the intensity he’s looking at you, feeling yourself slowly start to go a little stupid. “What baby tell me what you need”.

“Please Jake touch me”. You stutter out as he starts leaving kisses down your neck, stopping every so often to suck a mark onto your neck. He suddenly sits up and grabs the hem of his shirt pulling it over his head. You’ve never caught him shirtless before but god you’re glad you haven’t so you can properly appreciate it.

You honestly always knew Jake was hot but man did he exceed your expectations. You reach out to run your hand down his chest before he suddenly grabs your wrist. “Your turn”. He says grabbing the hem of your shirt before suddenly pulling it over your head. He moves his head back down to start kissing around your waist, leaving kisses down it before he reaches the waistband of your shorts.

He hooks his fingers into your waistband pulling your shorts down leaving you just in your panties. “Wow you’re so gorgeous”. He says while opening your legs and placing a kiss on your panty covered core.

You shiver at the contact and he reaches up to the waistband of your panties, pulling them down your legs. “Jake please”. He laughs a little bit before saying “Don’t worry baby I won’t tease you, I’ll take care of you”. He repositions himself to be kneeling on your floor head level with your core. He grabs your hips pulling you to the end of the bed before licking a strip up your core.

It has been so long since the last time you have had sex, so you already feel so wound up. You guess that this was the perks of getting with an older guy, he definitely knew what he was doing. You pretty much feel him everywhere he’s got his whole mouth on you, using his tongue to flick your clit. So overwhelmed you reach your hand down to grip his hair, accidentally yanking it in the process.

Much to your surprise he moans right into your pussy, causing you to throw your head back against the bed. “Pull my hair again baby”. He basically moans out and you don’t think twice before pulling again. When he moans against you again you swear that you could cum right there. “God Jake I’m gonna cum,” you exclaim and that seems to spur him on even more. Bringing one of his hands towards you he breaks away for a second, spitting on your core, before sticking one of his fingers inside you.

You feel your back start to arch off the bed and he doesn’t hesitate to shove another finger inside of you. “I’m cumming,” you cry out feeling your orgasm take over you, shaking while riding it out. When Jake pulls away he looks almost worse than you.

Hair a mess, eyes blown out and mouth glistening with your release, it makes you open your legs again out of impulse. His eyebrow raises up at this smirking before saying “Oh? You want me again angel. Need my mouth on you again?” Before you can even say anything he leans down to start again. “Oh fuck Jake!” You squeeze your eyes shut, your back arching off the bed. “Take it baby you’re gonna need to be ready to take my cock”

You already feel your 2nd orgasm approaching, still being sensitive from your last one. You start to feel yourself going genuinely dumb and that is the excuse you’re gonna use for the next thing coming out of your mouth. “Daddy please”. As soon as the words come out of your mouth your eyes shoot open looking down to see his reaction. You feel the warmth of his mouth leave you and you immediately start to apologize.

“Jake I'm so sorry I don’t know why I said that I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable”. He lets out a little laugh before undoing his belt. “Oh angel you have no idea, I need to be inside you right now”. He slides his pants along with his underwear and when you see the size of his cock you gulp.

He’s genuinely one of the if not the biggest you’ve ever seen and you think if you were in a cartoon your eyes would have become little hearts. “Like what you see, angel?” You nod and he clicks his tongue. “Now baby why don’t you beg daddy to fuck your little hole with his big cock”.

“Please daddy need you to fuck me!” You cry out and he seems to take mercy on you. “Normally I wouldn’t give in that easy angel but god I need to fuck you. Daddy will train you up for him another day. Do I need a condom angel?” You rapidly shake your head no, “I’m on birth control”. He walks back over to the bed speaking again “Flip over on your tummy princess”. You move on your shaky hands to flip yourself over.

You feel him move behind you grabbing your hips pulling you up and back so you’re right on the edge of the bed. “You ready for me baby? I’m gonna fuck you so good gonna ruin you for anyone else”. You feel your arms start to shake more, this time with anticipation. “God please fuck me!”

You feel him rub the tip of his cock up and down your lips before pressing into your entrance. You feel like all the air is ripped from your lungs gasping out as you feel his fat cock split your hole open. “Holy shit!” You whine out as he finally bottoms out, filling you so much you swear you feel him in your stomach. “Yeah angel you feel how well you take me? My thick cock splitting your little pussy open. Fuck you’re squeezing my cock so well”. He stays buried all the way in you before pulling his hips back slamming his cock into you.

The force behind his thrust sends you forward on the bed, falling forwards, your arms too weak to hold yourself up. “That’s right angel take it, take my cock. Fuck you’re so wet your dripping onto the bed baby. I made you that wet?”. You frantically shake your head yes “God yes Jake you make me so wet! Wanted you for so long!”. He continues using his strength to send you flying forward with every thrust before speaking again.

“Yeah you think of me? Every time you fucked one of those college boys, were you thinking of me. Those boys don’t even know how to treat you, how to fuck you right, they couldn’t handle a pussy like yours. Daddy’s got you now baby and he’s gonna fuck you so good your hole is never gonna be able to take any cock but mine again. Your pussy is gonna be molded to the shape of me by the time I'm done with you”.

By the time he finishes his sentence he’s got your stomach pressed against the bed with one of his big hands against the small of your back, leaning over you whispering in your ear. You genuinely think you’re drooling, barely able to keep your mouth closed, your head going completely limp, your eyes looking down at the comforter on your bed.

“That’s a good little slut just take me just like that. I can feel you tightening against me, you gonna cum soon? Cum all over daddy’s cock?” You barely even register the words coming out of his mouth, barely able to think about anything but his cock. You feel a hand grip the back of your head, pulling it up to place your back flush against his chest. His other hand reaches up to wrap around your throat, squeezing the sides of your throat, adding more to the haze you’re already feeling.

“Don’t tell me i’ve fucked you that dumb already angel. So stupid on my cock that you can’t even answer me? I asked you, “Are you gonna cum?”. Mustering up the rest of your energy you clear your dry throat “Please daddy i’m gonna cum! Please let me cum.”

He chuckles a little bit before pushing your torso forward on the bed again, letting you fall against the bed. “Go ahead angel cum all over my cock”. You feel your whole body go limp just letting him use you while riding out your orgasm. “God angel I'm gonna cum”. You can barely even hear him too tired after your orgasm but you whisper out a please. Soon after you feel him cum inside of you, pumping you full.

You feel him pull out of you and you feel his hands pull you softly onto your back to lay on the bed. You feel the bed move and you hear some shuffling before you feel the bed dip again. You feel something cold against your core and you look down to see Jake wiping you down with a wipe. He wipes himself off as well before throwing the wipe in the garbage can next to your bed. He brings you closer to him, laying you on his chest you feel his chest rumble as he starts to speak.

“You okay angel?” With your hoarse throat you’re able to answer him. “Yeah Jake i’m ok”. He lets out a sigh of relief before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Sorry if I was too rough”. You giggle a little bit craning your neck to look up at him before saying “It’s ok honestly I really enjoyed that”. He smiles down at you before responding with “Yeah I really enjoyed that too”.

“God what am I gonna do?” He asks rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands and you speak confused. “What do you mean?” He removes his hands from his eyes and looks down at you. “Now that i’ve had you i am not gonna be able to let you go”. You smile up at him before responding with “Well you won’t have to because i’m not letting you go either”.

[princessracecar]

“Describe to me in detail the exact texture of a perfect pumpkin pie.” Says Armand from behind his notebook.

“Uh” says Janet, the manager at the all night bakery exactly 3.475 miles away from the condo he shares with Daniel.

He doesn’t need Daniel knowing about his plans and Daniel is a great many things, but stupid is not one of them.

The bakery’s two regular employees, Elizabeth and Garret shoot them furtive glances from behind the counter. He’s not allowed to talk to Elizabeth and Garret anymore. Apparently he was being “creepy” and “intense” and waiting to ambush them with questions out in the parking lot was also not acceptable. Daniel wants him to rely less on his vampiric gifts. “If you’re going to act like a human, you should maybe try to actually act like a human” he had said. Whatever that means. Armand hasn’t been a human in a very long time and many of their behaviors are confusing to say the least. But if he isn’t to use the Mind Gift to parse the answers he needs, he needs to be… personable.

And so he sits with Janet, who had agreed not to call the police on him as long as he promised to “stop being weird” and buy something. The look on her face implied that he should buy several somethings. Perhaps many somethings. There was now a box of individually wrapped slices of cake settled on the table next to them in the corner booth that they are currently occupying. He can’t bring the cakes back to Daniel because then he will absolutely know something is going on, but perhaps he can leave them on the doorstep of a family the next street over without arousing suspicion.

He can tell that Janet is trying very hard not to ask him why he doesn’t try some of the pies the bakery has on display. It’s a fair question. Maybe he can pretend to be allergic to eggs. There are eggs in pies aren’t there? Food is so much different now than it was when he was alive. He takes a breath he doesn’t need and says very quickly “This is my first Thanksgiving with my husband and I want it to be perfect.” There, that was a normal thing to say. It even had some relation to the truth. Somewhat. If you squinted a lot. Janet, however, visibly relaxes in the booth across from him and beams in delight.

“This is Armand.” Says the still smiling Janet to the tall and rather disheveled looking blonde woman wearing chef’s whites with her hands buried in some sort of floury mixture spread out across the top of the metal table in the back room of the bakery. The woman had tersely introduced herself at Katia before turning to Janet and proclaiming “Isn’t that the guy who was being weird on the security cameras?”

“This is shortcrust pastry.” Says Katia after several tense minutes and a very pointed eyebrow from Janet. Armand dutifully writes “shortcrust pastry” in his notebook.

Katia takes on the air of someone about to deliver a very in-depth lecture. The slight tightening around her eyes (as well as her inner monologue) implies that he had better pay attention.

“It’s used in both sweet and savory pastries, tarts, and pies and is referred to as a “short” crust because the texture is light and crumbly.”

Katia explains to him the process of making the pastry. For some reason there is rendered animal fat involved and he is made to absolutely promise that he will not use “the devil’s ingredient” although he is utterly unsure what “Crisco” is. Perhaps some sort of poison.

“We roast our own pumpkin in house. It’s sourced from a local farm that’s known for their pie pumpkins.” says Katia. Armand feels his eyes widen ever so slightly in doubt.

“Of course, you can always use canned pumpkin” she continues with the air of someone who has just suggested that he eat raw sewage.

“It appears very… orange” hazards Armand. Katia narrows her eyes at him.

“I am certain most humans love it!” He backpedals. Katia gazes at him a moment longer and then visibly moves on.

She shows him the finished pies balancing on the cooling rack. They are no less orange than the roasted pumpkin that she had shown him earlier. He had looked up pictures of pumpkin pies on the internet and hoped that they would perhaps look less orange in person. He thinks that actually, the opposite is true. At least the baked ones no longer looked like soup.

“And people enjoy these?” He asks

“Yes.” Says Katia irritatedly. “Now get out of my kitchen.”

He strolls home through the night, box of cakes wedged awkwardly under one arm. He had no idea human food was so complicated. He supposes that he hasn’t given much thought to human food in a very long time. When he was alive it was more about sustenance than pleasure. He realizes that he wants this meal to be pleasurable for Daniel, after all it will be his last Thanksgiving as a human.

[lefaystrent]

Janus stumbles upon a tiny black kitten.

It's just sitting there, a tiny ball of adorable floof on the sidewalk edge. Janus glances around, as if someone will miraculously appear on the abandoned street to claim ownership. But he's in the mindscape, and honestly the street only goes in a square around Thomas's apartment building. There's only so much real estate you can fit into one man's head. At any rate, the other sides hardly venture out here. This kitten is totes fucked unless Janus does something.

"Oh I couldn't possibly," Janus demures at the narrator. "Besides, it's imaginary. I'm sure it'll be fine on its own."

"Mew," chirps the ball of floof and emerges out of its loafing position to waddle in Janus's direction.

Janus, lord of the lies and all things deception, evil mastermind extradonaire, feels his breath hitch.

Just look at the little paws.

"No!" Janus exclaims, shaking out of his cute-induced stupor. "The last pet I had was Sacagawea the hamster, and we all know what happened to her! Not that I care about teacup sized critters. Begone, little beast."

"Mew," another plaintive meow comes as the kitten reaches his ankles. It swats at him with its stubby claws, trying and failing to climb his pants leg.

"I am a gentleman of standards," Janus tells the cat seriously.

The puny kitten looks up at him imploringly with round-saucer like eyes.

Janus drops to the ground and coos, "Oh no, you're meeting all of my standards!"

The kitten starts up a punitive-engine of a purr as Janus scoops it up in his gloved hands. It chirps intermittently and Janus's ice-cold snake heart melts.

"I'm not keeping you," Janus promises fondly. "This doesn't go beyond a simple scratching. Do I make myself clear?"

"Meeew," the kitten squeaks and Janus nearly falls over himself to bring the kitten's face to his so he can rub their noses together.

The next day the sides are in the midst of filming a video with Thomas in his living room when Logan cuts himself off in the middle of citing his sources to say, "What was that noise?"

"Sorry, I ate burritos earlier," Remus apologizes, not appearing very apologetic.

"No, it sounded like–" Logan cuts himself off again as everyone hears the sound this time.

A muffled mewing.

All eyes fall on Janus in his corner. He stands there, seemingly unaffected, but upon closer inspection with eyeballs, one can see how stiff his posture is.

Patton peers closer with his balls of eyes. "Jan...is this that mewing trend all the kids are doing nowadays?"

"That is not what that means," Roman says, but he's mostly distracted with staring at Janus. "Wanna tell us something, Cat in the Hat?"

The deceitful side bristles. "I haven't the foggiest what you mean."

Janus's hat meows. More than that, there's something shuffling underneath.

Thomas's mouth is slightly agape as he asks, "Janus, did your hat just meow?"

"It did nothing of the sort."

"Kiddo, do you have a kitty cat under there or are you just happy to see us?"

"I– since when do you make jokes like that?"

"Jokes like what?" Patton blinks back.

Janus rolls his eyes and brushes imaginary lint off his imaginary shoulder. "Nevermind. Weren't we discussing Thomas's never-ending cycle of conundrums?"

"Yeeeah," Virgil drags the word out. "You can't just act like we all can't see your hat moving."

"Yes, and we all heard it meowing," Logan muses, ignoring Janus's automatic hissing of, "You heard nothing!"

"But why the hat?" Thomas ponders.

Logan nods, also curious, "Is this a coping mechanism after the loss of Sacagawea the hamster?"

"May she rest in peace, amen," Patton prays while Roman performs a Catholic cross over himself.

Thomas glances at all of them, "You guys know that I never actually owned a pet hamster, right?"

"Dude, too soon," Virgil chides him, and Thomas has the consideration to look abashed.

Janus crosses his arms to look cool. He doesn't. He keeps tipping his head this way and that to keep his hat from toppling over.

"This is a perfectly normal way for me to stand," Janus says.

Roman secretly slides Remus five bucks. Remus dives onto the floor and army crawls behind Janus. Somehow everyone but Janus sees it.

"By all means, do keep staring," Janus says, guarded and on edge and his rolls definitely tootsied. What.

Remus rises up behind him. Off comes the hat.

"Mew!"

"Oh my goodness, that's so precious!!" Patton squeals.

The kitten is belly flopped on top of Janus's head. It's so small that it almost gets lost in the hair, if not for the stark contrast against Janus's lighter color.

"Hey Virgil, it looks just like you!" Roman crows, earning himself a well deserved middle finger.

"Drat, you've uncovered my secret," Janus drones and gives Remus a withering look that promises they will exchange words later. Remus is too wrapped up in giving little chin scritches to the kitty to be bothered.

Thomas also inevitably succumbs to cuteness overload, but he does manage to ask why the heck Janus felt like he needed to keep the cat a secret.

"Because Thomas," Janus throws his arm out to make his cloak flare out. For the drama. Then he flourishes his hand towards the cat on his head. "You weren't ready to meet this new side of yourself, but I guess the cat is out of the bag."

"The cat was under a hat, to clarify."

"LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED YOU, LOGAN!"

"No one ever does, and yet that would solve over half of Thomas's problems."

"When you mean new side, does that mean...?" Thomas asks Janus, his voice filling with wonder. His eyes are getting that crazed glint in his eyes, like he's five seconds away from becoming a Florida Man meme. The background music ramps up into a crescendo at this new epiphany. Thomas knew there were more sides he hadn't met, but to think–!

"No, no, no," Logan says, waving his hands in an X motion. "This is a misunderstanding created from Janus's misleading statement. Don't do this–whatever it is you're doing. Stop it."

Virgil weighs in as well, "Hate to break it to you, but your most animal side is Janus."

"Does this mean Thomas is a furry?" Remus gasps.

"Yesss," Janus hisses out. Then he thinks about it. "I mean no. I mean– what?"

"So what's the baby's name?" Patton asks. He has come close too to join Remus in the giving of scratchies. A noble cause!

"It's a black cat, so why not Catman?" Roman offers. "I am the darkness. I am the night. I am...Catman!"

"Very original," Virgil praises, but it's just subtly sarcastic enough that Roman gives an heartfelt, "Thank you!"

"Can I pet?" Thomas asks, hand reaching out hopefully.

The sides grimace and wince.

"Oooh, yeah, about that..."

"Sorry, man."

"You can't actually..."

"Imaginary, remember?"

"Maybe if you think really hard and imagine touching fur..."

"Don't patronize him. Not with this."

"Yeah, kitty buisness is serious buisness."

"Are we ever going to return to the original topic?"

"Cats take priority. Don't you know that?"

"By what parameters? Any by whom?"

"It's like when a cat falls asleep in your lap. By law, you cannot disturb it. On pain of death."

"A bit overdramatic, but not wrong. It's an actual thing."

"Achoo!"

"Bless you."

"Thank you!"

"Patton, why are you petting a cat when you know you're allergic?"

"You would think that imaginary cats wouldn't agitate allergies."

"Thomas has a really vivid imagination."

"Why does everything innocent sound dirty coming out of your mouth?"

"Speaking of mouths and coming–"

Thomas, Patton, and Roman all shove their hands over their ears and scream, "LA LA LA!"

With everyone distracted (as part of Janus's master plan), Janus uses the moment of ensuing chaos to skeddadle away.

They never do learn the kitty's name, but they do eventually discover a horde of cats in Janus's room at some point, but that's another story.

[hellslayersomething]

I feel like I should write out some proper thoughts about my opinions on Veilguard, or at least an outline for the much longer essay that is currently calcifying in my heart. It's a mixed bag of a reaction, and I'm not going to compliment sandwiching any of it--this is all just stream of consciousness, so I'm probably going to snag on the negative and spiral down that pretty quickly. Spoilers, obviously:

I liked the battle system. For the first time in a DA game, it actually felt satisfying to play and had its own identity. I do wish the Pokemon element aspect was a little better balanced among the companions, but overall it was great.

That said, considering the length of the game, they needed way more enemy diversity, especially with the bosses. Eventually I was just fighting dragons, and every dragon had essentially the same moveset, one of those moves being "the dragon trips over her own dick and face-plants on top of Rook", which sure doesn't make the fights feel epic. Even very unique characters, like the Gloom Howler, were just reskinned basic demons when it came time to fight them.

The decision to tie companion approval to companion levels was a mistake. A massive and extremely obvious mistake. No wonder there are no disagreements or tension among the group--the game can't let you lose affinity with your team members, because then it would have to account for you leveling them down. The gameplay design here strangled the narrative design in its crib.

Speaking of narrative design: while I appreciate that the modular approach to companion arcs was experimental, it was extremely weird of them to take that approach in the only DA game where all companions are required. The story doesn't have to be written to account for the fact that you might not recruit some of them or they might die early--so why didn't they write one story about Rook and their seven friends instead of one story about Rook and also there are seven smaller, unrelated stories of extremely varying quality shoved in next to it?

The hyperfixation on the companion quests paired with their complete compartmentalization from each other means that each companion basically has nothing going on outside of their own quest and very few opportunities to engage with other characters' quests.

I was so starved for conflict in this game that I went from Solas-neutral to Solas-positive because he was the only character who the game allowed to be a bitch to me, and I respect him for that.

I do like all the horrid little sons the game gives me. I think I would appreciate them more if there was anything bad or tense happening in the story on a personal level that required some comic relief, but I am a sucker for a funky little guy none the less, and Manfred, Assan, and Spite are the perfect trifecta of funky little guys, as far as I'm concerned.

"We're only going to do character cameos if it's important to the plot." *does what they did with Isabela* Okay, devs.

"We aren't importing player choices but we won't override your decisions either." *several codex entries overriding player decisions later* Okay, devs.

I like the companions, generally. I see their potential. Fanfic will do right by them. Harding, in my mind, is the weakest of the bunch, just truly having no personality to speak of and talking like she was written by a Boomer who thinks that Millennials are still teenagers. (Everyone responsible for her uttering the phrase "Awkward..." like she's a character in 2011 quirky girl sitcom should be tried at the fucking Hague, istg.) And while I like Bellara, it was extremely frustrating to have a character that's just "Merrill, again, but with the edges sanded off". Taash and Emmerich are also glaringly the last additions in the writing process, each belonging to one of the two most underbaked factions and neither of them being tied to any of the game's few "big choices". There's promise in this cast, but I don't think any of them came close to realizing their potential.

Davrin and Emmerich's companion quests felt appropriately scoped to the size of the questlines, had good emotionality, good antagonists, and expanded on the lore of Thedas in ways we hadn't seen yet.

Lucanis's companion quest had potential, but it was too unfocused with three antagonists, too much attention to the boring Venatori shit, and not enough examination on Illario's motives or Lucanis's relationships with either Spite or Illario.

Harding's companion quest was fine, I guess (the people are starving for dwarf lore), but Harding could have been swapped out with literally any other dwarven character who wasn't Sandal and nothing would have been different. (Also weird that the whole quest was basically about Sandal while simultaneously fully removing Sandal from the narrative.)

Bellara and Neve's companion quests were just nothing. Just a whole lot of nothing. And Neve's also suffered from what I like to call "machete editing", where it is glaring obviously where things were cut, changed, moved around, and added at the last minute.

I say, from the bottom of my non-binary heart: Taash's companion quest is total ass. Real nice of Mae to come out of hiding and risk being found and executed by the Venatori to give Taash a Queer Theory 101 class, though, I fucking guess.

Is Lucanis's romance bugged? Apparently I'm not the only one who had that thought while I was playing it, so now I'm wondering. Like, there's no way they made it Like That on purpose, right?

Why and how are the Venatori still a force in Thedas, never mind a force with numbers so great (in spite of lacking a central leader) that they were able to simultaneously occupy the two largest cities in Thedas?

They literally didn't even try with the Antaam. The Venatori are at least theoretically still working to try to restore Tevinter to its former imperial might. The Antaam are just invading countries for literally no reason except ill-defined power grabs. Given the racial coding of Qunari, this writing choice sure is...something. (And that something is racist.)

That said, the revelation that the Butcher did a military tour in Europe and fell in love with the culture and just wants to drink wine and visit art museums now is fucking hilarious.

What the absolute FUCK did they do the Crows. I like the Crow characters from Tevinter Nights/the comics, and Zevran is my favorite character in the whole damn franchise, but they completely whitewashed both TN's mafia take on them and their original portrayal in DA:O. But it also doesn't really retcon anything, making it instead seem like the human trafficking and torture and sexual abuse that Zevran suffered at the Crows' hands A) only happened to him individually, and B) are fine, actually??? Even the very few times that characters express reservations about working with Lucanis because he's an assassin, if you play as a Crow, those concerns get immediately backpedaled, so the Crows end up being so ironed out that the game doesn't even let characters say of the Crows, "Murder is bad," lest it hurt a Crow Rook's feelings. That is how conflict-averse the writing is.

So I guess everyone in southern Thedas is...dead now? Several characters survived long enough to get a mention from the Inquisitor, but by the end, it sounds like Orlais, Ferelden, and most of the Free Marches are pretty much donezo. When Epler said the events in southern Thedas didn't matter, I didn't expect that to mean they were going to nuke the damn place. Even having generally enjoyed VG (in spite of all my criticisms here) that, uh...doesn't leave me enthused about the future of the franchise, ngl.

The layoffs of several writers (and other Bioware employees) before the game's release was obviously heinous. But after that secret ending, I'm now of the mind that of the writers that remain, at least a few of them need to be demoted. Like literally what the fuck was that. That was the dumbest plot point to ever appear in a Dragon Age game, and that is a high bar to clear. If you're not going to acknowledge our past choices, then keep Loghain's name out of your fucking mouths.

[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks

[moeblob]

What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.

[sysig]

He’s my little meow meow, my darling, my bbygirl (Patreon)

[thebirdandhersong]

Okay y'all it is over it is done the conversation has been had he knows I love him we are still friends I have cried my eyes out properly I have laughed again my heart will keep on hurting for a while but it is FINISHED

[hecksupremechips]

My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT

[exopelagic]

this election feels so hollow even though it’s likely ostensibly gonna be a good outcome. labour really just sucks fucking ass rn huh

[fuwaprince]

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