#the narrator from ‘mystery of matter’

[draven-the-great-is-not-okay]

Michael Emerson characters alignment chart

[random-autie-fangirl]

Chara: I'm wanting everything to end instantly

Asriel: And I'm wanting to go on unchanging forever

🔥🔥🔥THE BEEF WITH LINEAR TIME SIBLINGS🔥🔥🔥

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Beginners Guide to Descriptive Sentences

Hi writers.

I’m Rin T, and in this post I’m excited to share with you a detailed guide on how to craft vivid descriptions and descriptive sentences for your writing. I’ve long believed that descriptive writing is the magic that turns ordinary text into an immersive experience. When done well, every sentence acts like a brushstroke that paints a scene in the reader’s mind.

──────────────────────────── Why Descriptive Writing Matters ────────────────────────────

I have seen how powerful descriptions can engage readers and establish a strong connection with the narrative. Descriptive writing is not simply about decorating your work; it is about building an atmosphere that transports your reader to a world. your world.

When you write descriptions, remember:

You are setting the tone.

You are building a world.

You are evoking emotions.

You are inviting your readers to experience your story with all their senses.

──────────────────────────── Step-by-Step: Crafting Vivid Descriptions ────────────────────────────

Below are my personal tips and tricks to help you build detailed and captivating descriptions:

Begin With the Senses

Description does not solely depend on what the eyes can see. Consider sound, smell, taste, and touch. For instance, instead of writing “The witch’s hut was eerie,” try elaborating: “The witch’s hut exuded an eerie aura. The creaking timber and distant echoes of whispering winds mingled with the pungent aroma of burnt sage and mysterious herbs.” In this way, you help the reader not only see the scene but also feel it.

Choose Precise and Evocative Language

Precision in language is vital. Replace generic adjectives with specific details to boost clarity and imagery. Rather than “The forest was dark,” consider: “The forest was a labyrinth of shadowed boughs and muted undergrowth, where the light barely touched the spindly branches, and every step unveiled whispers of ancient spells.” Specific details create tangible images that stay with readers.

Show, Don’t Just Tell

A common mistake is to “tell” the reader how to feel, rather than “showing” it through context and detail. Instead of writing “It was a spooky night,” immerse your reader: “Under a pallid crescent moon, the night unfurled like a canvas of foreboding whispers; broken branches and rustling leaves narrated the secrets of a long-forgotten curse.” By showing the elements, you invite the reader to experience the fear and mystery firsthand. (You don't need to be as dramatic as my examples, but this is simply for inspiration)

Use Figurative Language Thoughtfully

Metaphors, similes, and other figures of speech lend an artistic flair to your descriptions. When writing about a scene in a magical world, you might say: “Her eyes shone like twin beacons of moonlit silver, cutting through the gloom as if to part the veil of night itself.” Such comparisons evoke emotions and deepen the reader’s connection with the scene. However, be cautious not to overdo it; a little figurative language can go a long way.

Strike a Balance Between Details and Pacing

While elaborate descriptions are alluring, too many details can weigh down your narrative. Consider introducing the broader scene first and then focusing on key elements that define the mood. For instance, start with an overview: “The village lay nestled between ancient stone arches and mist-covered hills.” Then, zoom into details: “A solitary, ivy-clad tower sent spiraling tendrils of mist into the twilight, as if guarding secrets of a long-lost incantation.” This technique creates a rhythm, drawing readers in gradually.

──────────────────────────── Practical Exercises to Enhance Your Descriptive Writing ────────────────────────────

To help you practice these techniques, try the following exercises:

Sensory Detail Drill: Select a familiar scene from your fantasy world (for example, a witch’s secluded garden). Write a short paragraph focusing on each of the five senses. What do you taste as you bite into a magical fruit? What sounds resonate in the quiet of the enchanted night? This drill helps you to avoid flat descriptions and encourages you to integrate sensory experiences.

Revision and Refinement: Take a simple sentence like “The night was cold,” and transform it using the advice above. Rework it into something like, “The night was a canvas of shimmering frost and darkness, where every breath of the wind carried a hint of winter’s sorrow.” Compare the two, and notice how minor adjustments can dramatically heighten the mood.

Peer Review Sessions: Sharing your work can offer invaluable insights. Exchange your descriptions with fellow writers and ask for focused feedback, Does the description evoke the intended emotion? Does it deliver a clear image? Use these sessions as opportunities to improve and refine your craft.

──────────────────────────── Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them ────────────────────────────

Through my years of writing, I've learned that even the most passionate writers can stumble. Here are some pitfalls to watch out for:

Overloading With Adjectives: While it’s tempting to create elaborate descriptions, too many adjectives and adverbs can distract rather than enhance. Aim for clarity and purpose in every word. Instead of “a very dark, spooky, frightening forest filled with creepy sounds,” try “a forest shrouded in ominous silence, where every rustle hinted at unseen mysteries.”

Falling Into Clichés: Familiar images can sometimes render your work predictable. Try to avoid worn phrases. Instead of “as dark as night,” imagine “as impenetrable as the void that separates worlds.” Unique expressions capture attention and create lasting impressions.

Neglecting the Flow: Descriptions are vital, but the narrative must continue to drive forward. Check that your detailed passages serve to enhance the storyline rather than bog it down. Ask yourself: Does this description bring the reader closer to the action, or does it detract from the momentum of the narrative?

──────────────────────────── Advanced Techniques for the Aspiring Writer ────────────────────────────

Once you’re comfortable with the basics, consider these advanced methods to elevate your descriptions into artful prose:

Integrate Descriptions Seamlessly: Instead of isolating your descriptions, weave them into dialogue and action. For example, as a witch brews her potion, you might describe the bubbling cauldron and swirling mists as part of her incantation, not just as a standalone scene. “As she whispered the ancient words, the cauldron responded, its surface rippling like a dark mirror reflecting centuries of secrets.”

Reflect Character Perspectives: Let your characters’ emotions color the scene. If a character fears a looming threat, their perception will add a layer of tension to the environment. “I entered the dim corridor with trepidation, my heart pounding as the flickering torchlight revealed spectral figures dancing along the walls.” This technique makes the description both situational and personal.

Use Rhythm: The cadence of your sentences can mirror the pace of your narrative. In high-tension moments, short, abrupt sentences heighten the urgency. Conversely, in serene scenes, longer, flowing sentences can create a tranquil atmosphere. Experiment with sentence structure until you find a balance that suits both your style and the mood you wish to convey.

──────────────────────────── Final Thoughts and Encouragement ────────────────────────────

your narrative is your unique creation. you too will find your distinctive voice. I encourage you to keep experimenting with different techniques until your descriptions feel both natural and mesmerizing. Write freely, revise diligently, and most importantly, let your creative spirit shine through every line.

Thank you for joining me. I hope these tips can help you.

[vaguely-concerned]

I understand and agree with a lot of the frustrations about the shortcomings of Inquisition as a story. but sometimes when I hear people complain about the chosen one narrative in it I do want to just be like... you know it's a deconstruction of the concept more than anything, right. the inquisitor isn't actually chosen by anything except stumbling into the wrong (right?) room at the right (wrong?) time because they like, heard a noise or whatever. or if you think they are chosen, as many do in-universe, that's something you have to take on faith, the maker-or-whoever moves in mysterious ways indeed-style. the Inquisitor isn't actually a Destined Chosen One, they're a Just Some Guy in a fancy hat, self-delusions of grandeur to taste as you'd prefer.

a running thread that goes through all of the personal quests of the companions is the concept of a comforting lie vs. an uncomfortable truth, upholding old corrupt structures vs. disrupting them, and the role of faith in navigating that. (blackwall the warden vs. thom rainier the liar and murderer. hissrad vs. the iron bull, or is that the other way around? cassandra and the seekers -- do we tell the truth about what we find, even if it means dismantling the old order of the world? and so on.) and your inquisitor IS at the same time a comforting lie (a necessary one, in dark times? the game seems to ask) and an uncomfortable truth (we are the result of random fickle chance, no protective hand is held over the universe, it's on us to make a better world because the maker sure as hell won't lift a divine finger to help anyone, should he against all odds exist). faith wielded for political power... where's the point that it crosses the line into ugliness? is it before it even begins? what's the alternative? will anyone listen to the truth, if you tell it?

interesting how you also get a mix of companion agency in this -- you have characters like dorian who ALWAYS choose one side of the comforting lie vs. uncomfortable truth dichotomy. he will always make up his own mind to go back to tevinter and try to dismantle the corruption of the old system no matter what you say, or how you try to influence him. meanwhile iron bull is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum -- so psychologically trapped and mangled, caught in an impossible spiritual catch-22, that his sense of identity is left entirely to you and your mercy. you cannot change dorian in any way that matters; you can be his friend or not, support him or not, but he is whole no matter what. you are given incredible and potentially destructive-to-him power over bull's soul. it's really cool (and heartbreaking) to think about.

this is a game about how history will eat you even while you're still alive, and shape you into whatever image it pleases to serve it, and for all your incredible power right now you are powerless in the face of the gravitational force of time -- of more than time, of History. you won't recognize yourself in what History will make of you, because you belong to it now. you don't belong to yourself anymore and you never will again. the further you were from what it needs from you to begin with, the more you will find yourself distorted in its funhouse mirror. (why hello there inquisitor ameridan, same hat!)

and to me this is so much the core of what Dragon Age is about right from the Origins days -- how and by whom history gets written, the inherent unreliable narration of it all. I hope you like stories, Inquisitor. You are one now.

I do think it's probably still the weakest of the games narratively, and it's hampered by its structure and bloated systems. but I also find it disingenous to say that there's nothing deeper or actually interesting going on with it, thematically. if you're willing to engage with it there is Some Real Shit going on under the high fantasy-tinted surface.

[lorenzozurzolocanruinmylife]

Mattheo’s girl -Theo Nott x reader/ Mattheo Riddle x reader

(Based on Rick Springfield’s song Jessie’s girl)

T.W.= smut, mdni, kind of stalkerish behavior, alcohol, cigarettes, hopefully that’s it

Mattheo is a friend

Yeah, I know, he's been a good friend of mine

But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define

Mattheo's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine

Theo stayed restless all night, turning right and round in his bed, he went outside to smoke at least 10 times. Something that has been happening for quite sometime, Theo could precisely pinpoint the day he started dealing with this type of struggle, one which he couldn’t seem to get rid of, no matter how hard he tried.

Actually, he could locate the exact place and moment in which things had changed, and his world had turned upside down.

10th of October, 2 months previously

The great hall was filled with noises, glasses clinking, first years snickering, professors chatting.Theo, Enzo, Pansy, Blaise, Draco and Astoria were already at the back of the Slytherin table, discussing their usual topics always adding some new aspects to it.

The only missing piece in their habitual frame was Mattheo Riddle.

The thing about that devilish boy was that nobody ever truly knew where he was or what was he doing.

Lately though, Theo, his very best friend, had notice a shift in his behavior. He found his mate even more mysterious than usual, if that was even possible. He was sly and vague anytime someone asked him anything.

Another thing that Theo seemed to have perceived was the way he came back late in the middle of the night, or how often he just didn’t come back.

Now, everybody knew Mattheo’s nature and the tendencies he had, rumor has it he has an outstanding count, body count obviously. He never denied said rumor, actually, he bashed in the pride that came along with it.

So it should have been normal really, but he never talked about his latest hookups, topic that he was extremely open about, in the quidditch’s changing room, as a fun story time at parties, hell even in class snickering right under Snape’s nose.

He collected those anecdotes mostly to narrate them in a crowd…and now…he just disappeared and came back, not speaking a single word, not indulging in any verdict his friends tried to state.

The only thing that talked were his eyes, and an unnoticeable glistening sparkle of something that Theo had never seen in those, usually starless, eyes.

In the middle of dinner, every single noise, was silenced by a far more powerful one.

The two huge door leaves opened, behind them Mattheo, who was so tall that he shielded you from everyone’s sight.

Until you took his hand in yours and started walking beside him, nearly skipping, looking completely devoted to each other, so much that you both didn’t remotely seem to notice everyone’s stare. He finally arrived at his normal spot, bringing you along.The noises came back to life but not to everybody, no, because Theo hadn’t heard even a single sound from the moment he laid his eyes on you. Let alone he couldn’t see anybody else, or understand anything.

“Guys, I want you all to meet the apple of my eye, my sweet lovely awesome girl. This is y/n, who I’m sure you’re gonna love just as much as I do” Mattheo couldn’t understand how much this last statement would become true. While he showed you off, his eyes filled with thousands of those damn sparkles, Theo started to feel the need to hold you.

And she's watching him with those eyes

But how could he do that if you were so absorbed in Mattheo, focusing on him, and only him.

Theo never knew envy, and he never even remotely thought how gut wrenching it could feel, until that moment; that horrifying split second, that for some reason couldn’t seem to pass.

“Nice to meet you! I’m y/n, you must be Theo? I’ve heard a lot about you” you outstretched your hand towards a very unresponsive Theo.

You knew who he was. That was enough gasoline to light up an immense fire in his chest, so vast that it reached his throat, making him cough, and finally his face…painting him red.

He couldn’t tell if it was more passion or embarrassment he was enduring, but he knew he was crumbling under your beautiful gaze, nonetheless he couldn’t stop this absolutely awkward scene, because of how little and weak he felt.

He took your hand.

He looked up at you.

“I’m sorry- it- it’s just I never thought I could ever meet Mattheo’s girl…never even thought he could have just one” he whispered the last part, you seemed to have heard it though and you laughed, surprisingly.

In that instant- you drying your tears caused by the loud heartfelt laugh, him gaping at your smile, feeling an incredible uncontrollable high because he made you laugh- he knew ha was at your mercy.

Pathetic and lost in you.

Time passed and you started becoming a constant presence in the group, this was driving Theo mad, because he needed to be near you just as much as he wished to be as far away from you as possible.

He was starting to doubt his morals, because anytime he saw you, the feeling he was harboring in his chest- involuntarily- was becoming more and more voluntary. Not only this, but he cared less and less about his best friend, and the fact that you were his.

In fact Theo was convinced that if he had the chance to take you away from Mattheo he would, he desperately wanted to make you his. No matter how traitorous he’d have to be. The only thing that stopped him was you.

And she's loving him with that body, I just know it

Yeah, and he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You were in love with Mattheo.

Just as much as he loved you.

Just as much as Theo loved you.

You loved him in the daylight, when anyone could see it, walking with him hand in hand, always sitting next to each other -Theo thought that at least it was better than to see you sitting ON him-

always exchanging notes, winks, flying kisses and so much more.

But he knew you loved him in the moonlight, where no one could see.

You loved him with your body.

He just knew it…

31st of October

The Slytherins were organizing a Halloween party, that was one of the most awaited every year.

You were in Mattheo’s dorm, laid down on him, facing him lazily while sharing some light kisses. You decided to go at the party in a couple’s costume, as if you hadn’t launched your relationship enough -thought Theo, who would have done anything to go with you, even if it meant dressing up in the most ridiculous way ever.

As soon as Theo entered the room, followed suit by Enzo, he felt as if the scene unfolding before him was stolen directly from his nightmares.

He craved your touch, your faint kisses, your arms around his neck and your sweet words, just as much as he needed to throw up right there and then.

Enzo peeked over Theo’s shoulder as he was standing still paralyzed by the envy tugging at his heart, and mostly clouding his mind. He gave his friend a little push, “move your perv ass Theo, I need to pee” and just then he realized Mattheo was glaring at him because of his blatant stare, so he coughed and immediately threw himself on his bed.

Mattheo turned his glare towards him again, protectively holding you twice as close as before. It was no secret that he was jealous of anyone who simply looked in your way, how could he not? You were attractive in a way that was far more than just physical, your whole self had a pull on every single person you met, you were irresistible. That’s probably why his friends, who were the most selective and elitist group of people in the whole school not only accepted you as one of their own, but also requested your presence the very few times you weren’t around.

Theo heard some of the suggestions you two were debating for the costumes, imagining him and you in each of them.

He started to feel hot as the options were becoming doubly spicier than the other.

He had to get out of there.

The party had already started when you guys showed up, you were gorgeous, dressed in a long white dress that had a pretty deep neckline, and where your heart was supposed to be there was a knife with fake blood all over. You had a white veil too, while Mattheo was wearing a tux with red handprints on the shirt.

It was sickening really, you were a bride, and he was your goddamn husband. Theo who was already holding a drink downed it as fast as he could. Trying to get that horrible image out of his mind.

As you reached the group everyone was complimenting you both, “you’re the it couple” “you guys look so good as husband and wife!!!” Pansy and Astoria yelled. They stole you away from your fake husband to dance and take far too many shots. Which still weren’t half the ones that Theo drank, in fact he could hardly stand on his two feet.

He returned to the group, and he thanked whoever was helping him from above that you weren’t there, because in the state in which he was he would have definitely poured his feelings out, and possibly even a mix of the cocktails he downed.

“Man I’ve never seen you so whipped for any girl- actually I may have never seen you even interested in any girl. Y/n has some super power” Blaise said teasingly to Mattheo, who was looking out for you from a distance just to know you were safe, and also because he was entirely too stunned by your beauty. “What can I say? I knew from the very first second I’ve looked at her that she was the one, she doesn’t remind me of any other girl that I’ve met, I don’t think I could find another one like that” “And also, look at her” Enzo chimes in raising his eyebrows, earning a push and a chuckle from Mattheo.

Theo was sat on the sofa, his head in his hands, thinking that it was better if he just kept silent and even better if he didn’t spare you one glance.

As the party went on he watched as you and Mattheo were tangled in a hot embrace while dancing, touching each other and basically humping to the rhythm of the music. He suddenly grabbed a girl that was dancing in front of him, with his eyes wide shut he started to imagine it was you dancing, it was you pressed tightly against him, it was you kissing him and it was you he was leading to his dorm.

He was about to stumble in with the mystery girl, the actress, until he heard some loud noises.

He broke away from her, telling her to stay quiet, while he slowly leaned towards the door hearing the most heavenly gasps and moans he ever heard. He turned back to the girl and while she tried to imply to go back to her dorm, he ignored her turning back once more.

Obviously she wasn’t expecting this, and left as disappointed as Theo had never left another girl before. But he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to hear more, to fuel his fantasy, giving it something concrete, starting somewhere real to land in his most incredibly feral imaginations. He leaned a bit more on the door and it opened slightly, he was relieved that it didn’t make any noise, and most importantly he was ecstatic that he got to sneak the sight he had been dreaming about since the day he first saw you.

He didn’t care that this was clearly a violation of your privacy, he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

The image of you on top of his best friend, bouncing on him, small drops of sweet sweet sweat running down the valley of your perfect round tits that went up and down with your every move. He was enchanted by it all, this was something that he had dreamt and imagined countless times, but nothing compared to the real deal.

He gave up trying to not touch himself, and he started to unbutton his pants hurriedly reaching his hardened dick and as you came closer and closer to your climax so did he. He didn’t feel shame, he felt closer to her, as if his hands were the ones grabbing her, his body the one loving her, his cock the one pleasing her.

When he came undone, he stepped away from the doorway, muttering “I wish that I had Mattheo’s girl”, passing a resigned hand over his face.

The next morning he felt outrageously ill, inflamed with an unadulterated jealousy seeing your naked form, covered with the white sheets of his best friend’s bed, but mostly covered by his best friend’s embrace. He just couldn’t wrap his head around how unfair was the fact that the bastard could wake up to your beautiful goddess like body in his arms, his face next to your angelic one. He should have been the one, he should have been the one having you.

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo's girl

I wish that I had Mattheo's girl

Where can I find a woman like that?

Theo in an attempt to be rational had decided to give other girls a try, certainly he would find what he saw in you in someone else, right?

Wrong!

He couldn’t keep count of how many boring chats, meaningless one night stands, and dates he had endured trying to find someone like you.

He definitely remembered when that realization hit, that simply no one could compare.

Double date, Hogsmeade, Theo, girl n.17, Mattheo, you. Splendidly suggested by his very best mate in question.

12th of November

Just like any other Saturday a trip to Hogsmeade was planned, and the group of boys were all getting ready in their shared dorm.

“Guys which should I wear for my date with y/n? Green or grey?” Mattheo asked turning toward the others holding up two sweaters. “Dude whatever, it’s not like it’s your first date” Draco answered him annoyed with his friend that couldn’t for the life of him spend some time alone with his friends anymore, Theo couldn’t blame him though. He knew that if he ever had someone like you, he too would exploit every single second to be around you, not wasting anytime with anyone else. Exactly the opposite of what his plans were for this not-so-exciting evening. “I heard someone else here is going on a first date? Or should I say hundredth, huh lover boy?” Enzo raised his eyebrows mimicking a kiss aimed at Theo, who threw him a pillow to shut him up. “Yeah mate what’s up with this slut era of yours? You’re trying to catch an std or sum?” Blaise asked him giving him a nasty side eye “I just give the ladies some sugar, you know, there’s enough for everyone” Theo smirked, trying to conceal his cringed reaction to what he had just said. And mostly trying to hide the unbearable truth, that you were no some girl. You were Y/n, unique, funny, charming, genuine, his sweet forbidden fruit.

He tuned the guys out, not caring in the least of what they had to say about his unconventional DonGiovanni’s lifestyle, to think about you just like he always did. What brought him back to reality was the same thing that took him away in the first place. Y/n. As soon as he heard your name his head shot up, his stare that was lost on the wall in front of him focused once more on his friends.

“Huh?” “Why don’t you and your girl hang with us? Like a double date?” Mattheo suggested finally having settled on the grey sweater, “Why?” Theo let that out with a baffled expression, doubting this could ever be a good idea. He himself knew that he wouldn’t have resisted being in the same room with Mattheo always touching and kissing you. And he definitely knew that the poor girl he brought along would be discarded the very instant that his eyes found you, because wherever you were so was his undivided attention.

But then he thought again, still convinced that he could find a replacement for you, someone else that could steal his heart from you after you had done that to him yourself. He thought that the best way to know if this girl could take your place was for her to show him, with you there, that she was a fair opponent. As Mattheo rambled about giving him an example of what true love should look like and yada yada, Theo just shrugged and agreed.

In hindsight he couldn’t have been more wrong, or maybe he was right, when he had first thought that the girl would have been discarded, and that he wouldn’t have notice any other person as long as you were there.

But there he was, sat at a very small table at madam Puddifoot’s tea shop, regretting his every choice, with a very plain and awkward ravenclaw girl by his side, and in front of him the awfully cutesy couple seemingly having a staring contest.

The poor girl, Vic or something, was trying to make small talk and each time Theo just mumbled something in return. You on the other hand were always so nice and entertaining, not wanting her to feel left out you talked about every possible topic.

I'll play along with the charade

There doesn't seem to be a reason to change

You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute

I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot.

But even though he knew it didn’t make sense, none of it made sense, him being there, him being there with that girl, he decided to just keep up with whatever this seemed to be. So for the rest of the evening he tried to be as charming as one should be on a first date, subtly trying to make you laugh more than he made her, and more than Mattheo made you. Being slightly arrogant about his advanced potions’ skills, his good grades, his quidditch wins and this sort of things.

And despite his real attempt to woo the girl just for the façade’s sake, as if for some cruel divine joke he seemed to have way more chemistry with you. Indeed you laughed at his stupid jokes, you didn’t stand back on an exchange of witty and cunning banter, and at one point you even completed one of his sentences. He felt like he was going to die if he had to keep faking this misplaced interest for just one second longer, until he looked at you, really looked at you. Nearly fused with Mattheo, holding one of his hands while his other was under your sweater. Exchanging sweet nothings at the same time you were talking to him. And Theo, who wasn’t a stranger to this scene, still felt like he was about to crash out, blinded by the infamous green eyed monster, and just like on the night of Halloween he felt dirty. This was one of those epiphanic moments in which he regained lucidity, disgusted with his behavior.

He did truly feel like shit. How could he not? His best friend’s girl? It was seriously the least loyal thing that he could think of, it was the first rule of bro code. Goddamn, it was a commandment.

But he loved you. His heart ached for you, every smile you directed to him, every word, every nod, every acknowledgment from you got him completely drunk.

And in these very rare lucid moments he felt ashamed, a sinner. Besides, most of the time it all felt right, it was right to be selfish, it made sense, just like it would have if he finally told you. Because there was nothing that he wanted more than to break free from the heavy chains of this secret and confess.

In those few, clear moments, he sobered up, and kept realizing that it would have been irrational and mostly vain. Because you loved Mattheo. And he couldn’t do anything to stop that.

Cause she's watching him with those eyes

And she's loving him with that body, I just know it

And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo’s girl.

The date ended, and so did Theo’s hopes on encountering someone like you. And with them died also the dreams of a reciprocation of his feelings. Just like they did every damn time he saw your shiny eyes looking at his best mate. There was no point. He could just surrender to his impossible love and move on eventually, while having to stand there and watch every kiss, every lingering touch, every form of pda the world knew.

He found peace only at night, when he dreamt of you and him together, doing all the things he had seen you do with him.

And I'm looking in the mirror all the time

Wonderin' what she don't see in me

I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines

Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?

Tell me, where can I find a woman like that?

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo's girl

What Theo really just didn’t understand was what could he possibly have less than him, people had always told them how similar they were, did Mattheo become all of a sudden the better version? No, impossible. Theo searched for the answers in the mirror, trying to think of what he didn’t have that Matt did. Sure, he was more muscular, but that had never meant that he wasn’t just as strong.

Was his personality the problem? It couldn’t! No, because whenever you spoke to each other you seemed so at ease, you seemed like you were aware of the flick of fire that lit between the two of you.

24th of November

Theo had just come back from the library to his dorm, thinking he’d be alone, he dived on his messy unmade bed hoping to rest his poor head filled with tangled thoughts that were all screaming your name.

“Rough day?” he gasped, nearly falling out of the bed “Oh dear Merlin, you scared me” he said holding his chest with one hand, and his forehead with the other one. “Scared of a little company, aren’t you Theo?” “You don’t know just how much” he answered you completely honest, though you didn’t know he wasn’t joking.

“So w- what are you doing here? Waiting for Mattheo?” he asked, truly regretting the last part, and having to say it out loud. “Not really, but since he gave me the password to the common room, I figured why not?” “So you do spend time apart? I wasn’t aware” he faked a surprised expression and made you laugh “Well, you know sometimes it all just feels like a lot, I mean…” you tried to make sense without sounding mean “are you trying to say that he’s too much?”. “No, no please Theo, come on I didn’t mean it like that” Theo was snickering, feeling somewhat relieved that it was too much even for you. “You know what I mean, like I love him, truly” you said and Theo’s smile faltered for a beat, then came back normal as if his heart hadn’t just been wounded by what you said to him. “But we just might spend too much time together, and like I said, I love him but I love my own personal space too”. “Well i don’t blame him” he said “it’s easy to get lost in time when you’re with someone like you” he let out this risky statement testing you, trying to see your reaction. Your cheeks welcomed a burning pink tint on them, and you looked down at your feet lightly smiling “Someone like me?” you looked back up at him with a challenging glance “yeah, someone effortlessly fun” “and what else?” “I’m sorry I can’t come up with another lie” he said smirking at you. You suddenly got up to your feet, went up to him and pushed him. “Fuck off Theo” you told him laughing “Someone who can take a joke definitely” he said trying to keep his cool after feeling your touch, “Ah, ah, ah. And here I was thinking you liked me!” you feigned an insulted face “I don’t like you…” he said seriously now. You stood there still, in front of him, the heat returned to hit you in your face.

That was it. He knew and he firmly believed you knew it too. He was gonna say it, he extended his arm and gently took your hand “No, I-“ “Y/n babe are you in here?”. You took back your hand, and went to your boyfriend as fast as you could.

-Of course- Theo thought to himself, who else could interrupt his one chance to finally tell you, if not your stupid boyfriend. “Oh dude hi, kept her company I hope?” “Yeah well I was just about to leave, bye Matt” and then he looked at you, who were now in his friend’s arms, like every damn time. Your eyes met his “bye y/n”.

His cards were now on the table, and maybe for this reason or for his undeniable guilt, that was the last thing he had told you. The feelings were still there, but so were yours, even if he genuinely had believed that he saw something in your eyes in that moment.

The truth was that there was something, there were those sparkles, the same Mattheo had when watching you. You just couldn’t admit it out loud, and now Theo had started to completely ignore you, so there was no point in trying to understand what was that you felt, no because you were always Mattheo’s girl.

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort

TW: Drug Use - Marijuana

Transcript under the cut

Jonathan & Malcolm: Grandma Queenie!

Queenie: Hello boys. I see your mother is taking yet another trip out of state.

Jonathan: Mommy is making a house for a movie star!

Queenie: Hmm. Well. You two must be hungry. Poor things. Come inside, I’ll have lunch prepared.

Malcolm: I want peanut butter and grape jam with no crust on them!

Queenie: Anything for my boys.

Nancy: We can leave now. Take me to the airport, Andrew.

Driver: Yes, Mrs. Landgraab.

Nancy Narrates: [If I spent too much time with my sons at home, I was losing focus on the business. If I was buried under my work, then I was neglecting them. No matter what I did, there was no pleasing her]

Nancy Narrates: [So I focused on my work and on my friendship with Judith. Each time I flew out to Del Sol Valley to check on the progress of The Ward Den, I’ve grown to know the global superstar. I’ve grown to love her too]

Nancy Narrates: [I was beginning to realize, wealth was one thing. Fame was something entirely different. For the first time in my life, people looked at me, not through me and I had Judy to thank for that]

Fan: Oh my god! I love your movies, Ms. Ward! We’re your biggest fans!

Judith: Oh, how cute. Who can I make this out to?

Fan: Oh, please Mrs. Landgraab, can I have your autograph?

Nancy: You want my autograph? Really?

Fan: Oh, yes please! I admire everything you do! God, I want to be you! A power woman. Ah! Meeting you feels like a dream!

Nancy: I- wow. I’d be happy to.

Judith: You were born to be a star, Nan.

Nancy Narrates: [And as promised, I gave her the house of her dreams, with the view of the entire world from her balcony]

-

[cork pop]

Judith: WOO! Time to pregame before the real party starts, Nan!

Nancy: [exhales] Hmm. I haven’t smoked pot since college.

Judith: It’s legal in DSV. I even got a prescription for it, for anxiety.

Nancy: If I wasn’t an east coast girl, I’d consider moving out here.

Judith: The Hills isn’t just for movie stars, you know. You’re making quite the name for yourself and there’s a calling for talented female architects. You could tap into the market like nothing.

Nancy: No, I’d never hear the end of it. My mother hates what I’m doing. The Landgraabs are supposed to be noble, humble philanthropist not celebrity icons.

Judith: Fuck her, respectfully. I divorced my parents and was emancipated at 16 so I could protect my assets and my goddamn sanity. I don’t regret it one bit. You have your own name to consider. That old bag can stuff it.

Nancy: Right.. I don’t want to ruin my high, darling. Let’s change the subject.

Judith: Alright. So tell me, friend. What else haven’t you done since college?

Nancy: [snorts] Not much. I was a very good girl.

Judith: Oh bullshit. There’s no cameras here, you don’t have to put on a show for me.

Nancy: I’m serious. I hit the books. Partied very little. Went to church every Sunday.

Judith: And apparently you smoked pot.

Nancy: [smirks] Apparently so.

Judith: You are such a little mystery to me.

Nancy: Maybe that’s a good thing.

Judith: Give me something. I tell you everything, I don’t want this to be one sided.

Nancy: [hums] I guess, when I was younger, I had- thoughts of sorts. I still do.

Judith: Thoughts? About?

Nancy: I guess...thoughts about women.

Judith: Oh, honey, don’t we all!

Judith: I think that’s normal. Women are passionate creatures! We love with our whole selves, with our mind, our body, our entire being. We crave likeness, at least I do. I feel incredibly sated in talking with you than with a man, even if he was a lover.

Nancy: I’m not talking about friendship, Judy.

Judith: No? Oh!

Judith: Ahhh, I see! You know, I do think women are very sexy. Not sure if I could commit to the whole eating pussy thing. I could receive it though. You?

Nancy: I think about it so much that I fear the desire for it will consume me.

Nancy: The wanting—the ache—is so deep inside of me that nothing can reach it. I used to be able to ignore it, but now it just sits there, tormenting me and gnawing at me from the inside. I’ve.. never said it out loud before until now.

Judith: [gasps softly] Oh my.

Nancy: [sniffs] You think that’s strange?

Judith: No, I think it’s hauntingly beautiful. Have you ever thought about fulfilling those desires?

Nancy: You mean... go sleep with a woman?

Judith: Why not?

Nancy: I’m married. I could never do something like that to my husband. Besides, it’s just silly, little thoughts. It means nothing.

Judith: It hardly means nothing, Nan. Listen, I love ya to pieces. Should you ever choose to do what you want and lose some control, I will love you then too.

-

Nancy Narrates: [Lose control? The very thing that I clung to in this life? I couldn’t fathom it. Who would I be if I gave into the things I truly wanted]

Nancy Narrates: [So, when it came to a lesson in losing control-]

Nancy Narrates: [life introduced me to Lily Feng]

Lily: Mind if I sit my drink here?

Nancy: No, not all.

Lily: You’ll have to forgive me, I am a bit nervous. It’s not everyday I get to meet my idol. I hear you designed The Ward Den, it’s marvelous.

Nancy: Thank you. A little out of my element, but I liked the challenge. I didn’t catch your name.

Lily: Lillian Feng. You can call me Lily, if you like.

Nancy: Are you from here?

Lily: Oh, no. I’m from Tomarang, originally. I live in San Myshuno. I’m new to the area, still getting my footing in my practice.

Nancy: My office is in San Myshuno. What do you do?

Lily: I’m an interior designer. I own and manage a small, modest firm. Popular in the east, but I’m hoping to make a name for myself here in the states.

Nancy: You own your own firm? Wow, that’s- amazing. I don’t meet many women in your position. Especially not in this field.

Lily: It certainly wasn’t easy. I have to claw my way to the top. When it’s a man’s game, you can’t play it nice and safe, although I’m sure you’re aware.

Nancy: Unfortunately so. Have you any prospects since moving to San Myshuno?

Lily: [tsks] It’s quite the competitive market. There appears to be a whole network I can’t seem to tap into. I have had my eyes on the Dreamer project.

Nancy: [blushes] Ah well, it’s likely because of me- well, my company. I’ve yet to acquire it. Anyway, it’s who you know that gets you through the door in this business. The Landgraab Co. tops the market.

Lily: What a shame. That would make you my biggest competition, wouldn’t it? And such a pretty threat too.

Nancy: Ah. Well. That’s...kind of you to say. Um.

Lily: Oh, my drink!

Nancy: I-I can grab it for you-

Lily: Don’t fuss, I’ll get it.

Nancy: [gasps]

Lily: Now, we were talking about the Dreamer Project. So, you’re familiar with it?

Nancy: Mhm..

Lily: I hear the City Council is looking to expand San Myshuno with an entirely new district. It will be the biggest project of the decade.

Nancy: Mhm. Y-yes.

Lily: Any chance that Mayor Dreamer made a inquiry with the Landgraab Company?

Nancy: I...I can’t say.

Lily: [chuckles] I’m only teasing. I know you’d never reveal your hand so easily. Besides, it should be a given. The project sounds perfect for the Landgraabs, being as though the Dreamers are likely interested in classical architecture.

Nancy: Actually, the project is more modern. High tech.

Lily: Huh. Is it now? Who would have thought?

Lily: It’s been a pleasure speaking with you. I’m happy to have met you.

Nancy: [breathlessly] I’m happy to have met you too. Are you leaving?

Lily: I have an early flight. The city never sleeps, and neither do I.

Lily: But I’m sure you’ll see me around.

[instantpansies]

ok so @mostlyintact and i were talking about the strengths of each of the sfth boys, and i think i was finally able to get some words out, so i thought i'd make a real post lol. a brief summary of each of their strengths, and examples of plays where those things are visible.

longish post, so i'll put it under the cut.

aj: he really shines in caesar and juliet. the narrative sort of revolves around juliet, and aj gets to really drive the story forward. his portrayal is iconic and natural and just so fun to watch. also, he's excellent in the oopsie daisy bulge, the grape depression, and priscilla's final petal: all plays in which he's got a whole lot of control over the way his characters are going, and gets some shining moments to drive the scenes forward in really compelling ways. he really reveals himself as a director and storyteller. also obviously death for a dollar, where he IS the actual narrator. to be honest, aj might be my favorite from an acting standpoint: his quick turnarounds and seemingly wild word associations and ability to grab a single piece of information and turn it into a whole story is both amazing and very similar to my own style of improv, and seeing him do it so well (even if he gets made fun of for being confused) is just. delightful. idk. his scenes where he's playing two characters at once (in grapression and oopsie daisy) might be the best of all the boys', to be honest.

sam: i think he does well when he's the center of a web of connections. his performance in, say, the evil make-a-wish kid is really fun, where the narrative is focused on him alone, but my favorites are things like the mystery of the midnight circus, the unrelenting aubergine, strange noises, or moist and magical. his characters feel more like an "everyman" in some ways, but always with a really unique personality. theyre relatable without being blank slates. excellent protagonists made better by their worlds. he takes the energy surrounding him onstage and sends it electric at the audience, using his surroundings to bring you in. it's really cool

tom: he is absolutely enamoring as certain archetypes. and he does an excellent job of making an impact with even the smallest amount of screentime. i'm always a sucker for abigail from the neighbour's under the bed--the monologue, the mannerisms--but a lot of that comes from a whole lot of overanalysis of her character, and that's not really relevant here. instead i'll say he's really really good at capturing the audience in death for a dollar, wild wet and worrisome, ballet on the battlefield, wine under the bridge, and priscilla's final petal. but tbh i could point to memorable scenes from almost every single tom character, he's so good at making his time count. his english degree comes out, ofc, which gives us those glorious tomologues, but also he can build up tension so naturally and make a silly story seem so real for a moment. sometimes that "oscar bait" moment can distract from the plot as a whole, but you don't think about it while you're watching him because he's so good at filling the space (to use a theater term).

luke: he's the absolute king of sympathetic characters. no matter how ridiculous the rest of the play is, you can always count on him adding a layer of humanity to his characters. it's easy to see in the milkman, of course, but also in divorces and teddy bears, wine under the bridge, toby's secret pocket, and the grape depression. his people are human, in ways that the others sometimes forget to be, and his storylines are impressively coherent. he seems to be the most concerned with getting the details right--sam nitpicks to get a laugh, but luke keeps track of details really really well, and does a good job of bringing in little things that make a story come together beautifully. more than anything, though, he is so good at building a character throughout a story and leaving you actually satisfied with what you got.

they each have really unique and somewhat specific strengths, but they complement each other so well. i think that's part of the appeal of sfth - they're so so comfortable with each other and find it so easy to read each other that you can tell they're having fun. it feels natural. they click, almost all the time, and even if things go off the rails they can pick up the debris from the crash and run with it. that's what i found really appealing about them--as someone who loved improv when i got to do it, it makes me wish i had friends close enough to do that with. it takes a ton of trust and a really solid relationship to do that, and i just. i just think they're neat :)

thank you so much mostlyintact, i can't come up with this sort of thing without prompting and i can't wait to see if you end up posting smth too 👀 love hyperspecific analysis

[blacktabbygames]

why is scarlet hollow hard to pitch? you can romance a cool stylish goth girl who loves anime and has a pet stick bug. this should be enough for people

So part of the challenge is that, from a marketing perspective, that isn't really a pitch! You don't actually know what kind of game it is from that, and there isn't a story hook. A pitch needs to communicate: 1. Gameplay. 2. Story. 3. Why someone should play — what's ~special~ about the game?

And a good pitch needs to do all of that without falling back on specific genre-descriptors. So you can't just say, "it's a mystery game" or "it's a horror game," and you definitely can't say "it's a visual novel."

Slay the Princess has (IMO) a very strong pitch (and I can say that because we've got hard data on how well it sells!):

Juxtaposition of cute art with horror elements sets the tone and communicates the interesting narrative dissonance in the game.

Logo + "please don't" combination establishes a push and pull between the narrator and princess + communicates that the game is funny.

Short description tells you the story by giving you a task, and communicates that you have agency to do something different in the second sentence.

To capture what's special about Scarlet Hollow you need:

To communicate the story hook — harder with a slow burn!

Communicate how much your choices matter — useless to say as a developer, because developers lie about this all the time.

Scarlet Hollow is also dragged down a bit by being in early access — so we have high hopes for it performing a lot better after the full release.

Falling back on the splashscreen text we use as an intro (you won't be able to save everyone, etc.) helped improve things a lot — it communicates in a quieter way that choices matter. And it's also helped to lean on the reputation we built w/ StP by mentioning it at the beginning. But even then, most days we're able to move 1 copy for every 20 copies we sell of StP.

At the end of the day though, we're super comfortable and stable as a studio now, so we can continue to make scarlet hollow the best game we can without worrying about how well it sells on a day to day basis!

[vandme12]

our serials (kc) with a reader with glasses? :3

Reader who is always forgetting to wear their glasses, making CONSTANT typos in the server, or the characters catching them squinting. Just curious to how that would go ^~^'

V

At first, he assumes your typos are some kind of code. He spends an embarrassing amount of time trying to decipher the nonsense until you admit you just... forgot your glasses.

“You should be more careful. Words matter.” He says this like you’re committing war crimes every time you accidentally call him “Vurghilante.”

Eventually, he starts proofreading your messages. If you send something particularly chaotic, expect him to correct it with the same energy as a disappointed English teacher.

He absolutely notices when you’re squinting at something. If you resist putting your glasses on, he will silently place them on your face like you’re a stubborn child. No words. Just the weight of his judgment.

The one time you squint at him, he deadpans, “I’m not blurry.” But there’s a hint of amusement when you still refuse to wear your glasses.

Once, you mistyped his name so badly it resembled a rare plant species. He spent the next 24 hours sending you obscure botany facts as punishment.

Misaki

Oh, he thinks it’s hilarious. Your typos? Screenshot folder. Your squinting? Material for endless teasing. They calls you “Mole-ey” and won’t stop.

If you try to defend yourself, they just leans in uncomfortably close to your face like, “You sure you can see me, sweetheart? Or am I just a mysterious blur?”

Constantly quizzes you on random distant objects. "What does that sign say? No, no, don't squint. Use your powers."

Steals your glasses when she’s bored and wears them, claiming they're smarter now. He calls himself “Professor Misaki” while pushing them up the bridge of their nose.

If you lose your glasses, prepare for them to find the worst replacements. He once handed you pink heart-shaped sunglasses and insisted it was an upgrade.

If you squint at them, they wiggles his eyebrows and says, “Careful, if you keep looking at me like that, I might start thinking you have a crush.”

Angel

She immediately appoints herself your “Seeing Eye Babe.” If you squint for more than a second, she takes your hand and narrates the world around you like you’re in a dramatic audiobook.

When you make typos, she just rolls with them. Whatever weird word salad you send becomes canon. You once typed “I need a hug pls” as “I need a hog pls,” and now she periodically sends you piglet pictures.

If you’re squinting in her direction, she just tilts her head and teases, “Sweetheart, if you wanted to check me out, all you had to do was ask.”

If you lose your glasses, she will find them immediately. She has a sixth sense for misplaced items and is smug about it every time.

When she catches you struggling, she pulls your glasses from your bag and slides them onto your face with a fond smile. “I like your eyes better when you aren’t torturing them.”

She once bedazzled your glasses case without telling you. You open your bag and suddenly it’s glitter city. “Now you’ll never lose them again,” she winks.

Ronin

Oh, he lives for your mistakes. Every typo is ammo for his endless mockery. He purposefully misreads them to make things worse.

“What do you mean, 'I’d like to grab a dork'? Bold move. Keep talking.”

If you squint at him, he just smirks and leans in too close. “Better? Or do you need me even closer, baby?”

Constantly calls you “Blind Bat,” but somehow it sounds weirdly affectionate. Like you’re his favorite helpless disaster.

If you lose your glasses, he will absolutely hold them hostage until you grovel for them back. And, oh, he will make you grovel.

When he sees you straining at your screen, he dramatically sighs and tugs you onto his lap. “If you won’t fix your eyesight, I guess I’ll just have to keep you close so you don’t wander off and die.”

Despite all the teasing, he memorizes where you usually leave your glasses. He never admits it, but when you panic because you can’t find them, he always knows exactly where to look.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

One of Us is Guilty; Chapter 3

Three are now dead, but the killer seems to be caught ... but this night is not over until the room is found.

Characters; Vil Schoenheit, Rook Hunt, Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech, Silver, Cater Diamond

Content; Unreliable narrators, murder mystery

Content Warning; Death, murder, blood, anxiety, kidnapping, overall dead dove content warnings

Word Count; 1.1 K

Find this content triggering but still want to participate? Link to the Google Form to vote!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue (Part 1) | Epilogue (Final)

The body count had risen to three; Dire Crowley, the Ramshackle Prefect (whose blood still stained the floor, the iron scent permeating the air), and now, Divus Crewel as well, the latest victim. One minute the professor was alive, shaking from anger that one of his students was killed on his watch and that he was the prime suspect of the killings. But now he was sprawled out on the ground, killed in an instant.

The remaining students — Vil, Rook, Azul, Jade, Silver, and Cater — were silent, processing what exactly had just happened. The lights had flickered only for a minute, and in that minute, the killer had struck. But the silence was broken by a deafening clap of thunder, lightning illuminating the windows, and bringing everyone back to the present, to their laughably horrible situation that they had found themselves in by sheer chance and bad luck and timing.

Silver sat down on the staircase, and put his head in between his legs, taking deep breaths. Despite his training, he did not consider that he would be witnessing death so soon. The small part of his brain that had a sliver of hope that his friend had survived their gruesome injury, but he was just lying to himself; no one could survive that.

Vil was pacing, hands clasped behind his back, and he was muttering to himself. He thought he could read people, what with being raised amongst the stars that hid behind too-sweet smiles that belied venomous words. What was there to gain from any of this?

Rook was cracking his knuckles, and then rubbing his eyes, trying to think of why this was happening. While he could appreciate the hunt, this was something entirely different. Yet, it also reminded him of several books; one being a murder mystery, and the other about the deadliest game, of hunting a fellow person.

Azul was shaking and biting his nails, his resolve long gone. Had he made himself the enemy of one of his peers? Was he going to be next? He was supposed to just be perfecting a potion recipe for the next test, yet he found himself way above his head.

Jade looked at Azul, taking in that his house warden and friend was shaking more than the leaves outside in the howling wind. He too was disturbed by the night's events, sick to his stomach even, but he couldn’t show weakness, especially if he wanted to see it through.

And Cater? He was paler than a ghost, a cold sweat glistening on his forehead, and he felt like his heart was going to leap out of his throat. His cheery smile had left long ago, and now panic was fully starting to take control. Why? Why? Whywhywhy? WHY?! Yet he stayed silent.

No one spoke, but they eyed each other with caution. Every time that they had went to the mirror and they voted through it, someone died. Was it the mirror? No… no, that didn’t make sense… None of this made any sense though. 

“No more votin-” Silver whispered.

Cater cracked his head around, green eyes judging every move the underclassman made. “And why’s that, Silver?” His voice was shaky, but Cater wasn’t trusting him or anyone for that matter. “Afraid that-”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Vil barked, commanding everyone’s attention, eyes all on him. But he was used to eyes being on him, and he stayed cool, despite how this may damn him into being guilty in their eyes. He didn’t care at the moment though, all he cared about was no one else dying. “Look at what being suspicious of each other has brought us,” his eyes wandered to the dark clotted blood that had now gone cold. He swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat, keeping the calm mask up. “I agree with Silver though; voting through the mirror only ends up with someone… dead.”

“Then how do we proceed, Roi du Poison?” Rook asked, falling to his house warden’s side. His eyes looked over everyone, picking up their behaviours, emotions, and any tells.

Azul’s head snapped up. “The potion-” he started muttering to himself, before clearing his throat and gaining his composure again. “A truth potion, but one that shows the truth about the situation, we can use that to find the killer.”

Cater looked at Silver, and offered him his hand; a peace offering. Silver took it, and brought himself up on wobbly knees. A truce.

Jade placed his hand on Azul’s shoulder, offering him a bit of comfort that not everyone was out to get him. “Was that what you were working on?”

Azul nodded, and he started making his way towards the alchemy lab, where hopefully they could put an end to the killer’s little charade once and for all.

…

…

Vil helped Azul make the potion, and both students kept a keen eye on the other, but they made it without incident. And to show the others that they hadn’t tampered with it at all, they took it first, with the others shortly following suit.

“What about the room?” Silver asked.

“We can figure that out once we find the killer,” Jade countered.

Everyone looked at each other, taking in any minute details, but everyone was calm; the potion apparently did wonders to calm the nerves… but that in itself was a dangerous effect, since now everyone’s guards were down, making them easy targets.

Vil took in a breath and released it. “Who killed Dire Crowley? Why did you then kill the Prefect, and then Professor Crewel?” 

But no one spoke up.

“It isn’t me,” Vil said confidently, hoping that his speaking up prompted the others to follow suit.

Cater was to his left, and he spoke next. “I didn’t do it.”

Then Silver, “Or me… I couldn’t do something like this…”

“I did not do it either,” Jade offered.

Azul’s eyes went wide, and he eyed the next person in line. “The killer isn’t me.”

All eyes fell on the last person left in their little circle; Rook. With all of them but him left, that only left him.

He let out a throaty, quiet, chuckle. “I suppose this game has run its course,” he tipped his hat to them, green eyes glinting dangerously in the dim light. “As for why? Hmmm,” he hummed, and the hairs on everyone’s necks stood on end. There was something off about Rook, this wasn’t Rook. 

“You’ll find that out when you guess the room.”

What?

Everyone took a step closer to each other, away from Rook, and they whispered amongst each other, voting on what room Crowley’s murder took place in.

“Alchemy lab,” Cater spoke for the group, trying to keep his resolve as Rook seemed to stare into the very contents of his soul, like he was searching for something.

Rook stepped forward, still smiling. “Ah, désolé Monsieur Magicam,” the whites of his eyes started turning black, “but you would be wrong.” The lights flickered again, and in the seconds of darkness, Rook was gone, and so was Cater.

GOOGLE FORM (voting will end Wednesday, October 18th at 9pm EST)

SUSPECTS:

- Silver; the kindhearted knight with a mysterious past, is it just for show?  (Plum) - Vil Schoenheit; the actor who is always pigeonholed into the role of a villain (Scarlet) - Divus Crewel; the alchemy teacher with a penchant for fashion, Crowley’s co-worker (Peacock) DECEASED - Rook Hunt; the enigmatic hunter who always has a hunch of what’s happening (Mustard) MURDERER - Azul Ashengrotto; the owner of The Mostro Lounge, a businessman with dubious morals (Green) - Reader; the ‘house-keeper’, a role that was imposed on them by the late Headmage (White) DECEASED - Jade Leech; a student enamored by fungi and seems to have a foreboding presence about him (Orchid) - Cater Diamond; the preppy beau of Heartslabyul, but his smile seems forced (Peach) MISSING

ROOMS:

- Main hall (eliminated in Chapter 2) - Teachers’ lounge - Cafeteria - Kitchens - Lecture theatre - Botanical garden - Alchemy lab (eliminated in Chapter 3) - Library - Crowley’s office (eliminated in Chapter 1)

WEAPON: MAGIC (found in Chapter 2)

…

To be continued

[mostlysignssomeportents]

My McLuhan lecture on enshittification

IT'S THE LAST DAY for the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

Last night, I gave the annual Marshall McLuhan lecture at the Transmediale festival in Berlin. The event was sold out and while there's a video that'll be posted soon, they couldn't get a streaming setup installed in the Canadian embassy, where the talk was held:

https://transmediale.de/en/2024/event/mcluhan-2024

The talk went of fabulously, and was followed by commentary from Frederike Kaltheuner (Human Rights Watch) and a discussion moderated by Helen Starr. While you'll have to wait a bit for the video, I thought that I'd post my talk notes from last night for the impatient among you.

I want to thank the festival and the embassy staff for their hard work on an excellent event. And now, on to the talk!

Last year, I coined the term 'enshittification,' to describe the way that platforms decay. That obscene little word did big numbers, it really hit the zeitgeist. I mean, the American Dialect Society made it their Word of the Year for 2023 (which, I suppose, means that now I'm definitely getting a poop emoji on my tombstone).

So what's enshittification and why did it catch fire? It's my theory explaining how the internet was colonized by platforms, and why all those platforms are degrading so quickly and thoroughly, and why it matters – and what we can do about it.

We're all living through the enshittocene, a great enshittening, in which the services that matter to us, that we rely on, are turning into giant piles of shit.

It's frustrating. It's demoralizing. It's even terrifying.

I think that the enshittification framework goes a long way to explaining it, moving us out of the mysterious realm of the 'great forces of history,' and into the material world of specific decisions made by named people – decisions we can reverse and people whose addresses and pitchfork sizes we can learn.

Enshittification names the problem and proposes a solution. It's not just a way to say 'things are getting worse' (though of course, it's fine with me if you want to use it that way. It's an English word. We don't have der Rat für Englisch Rechtschreibung. English is a free for all. Go nuts, meine Kerle).

But in case you want to use enshittification in a more precise, technical way, let's examine how enshittification works.

It's a three stage process: First, platforms are good to their users; then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers; finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, they die.

Let's do a case study. What could be better than Facebook?

Facebook is a company that was founded to nonconsensually rate the fuckability of Harvard undergrads, and it only got worse after that.

When Facebook started off, it was only open to US college and high-school kids with .edu and k-12.us addresses. But in 2006, it opened up to the general public. It told them: “Yes, I know you’re all using Myspace. But Myspace is owned by Rupert Murdoch, an evil, crapulent senescent Australian billionaire, who spies on you with every hour that God sends.

“Sign up with Facebook and we will never spy on you. Come and tell us who matters to you in this world, and we will compose a personal feed consisting solely of what those people post for consumption by those who choose to follow them.”

That was stage one. Facebook had a surplus — its investors’ cash — and it allocated that surplus to its end-users. Those end-users proceeded to lock themselves into FB. FB — like most tech businesses — has network effects on its side. A product or service enjoys network effects when it improves as more people sign up to use it. You joined FB because your friends were there, and then others signed up because you were there.

But FB didn’t just have high network effects, it had high switching costs. Switching costs are everything you have to give up when you leave a product or service. In Facebook’s case, it was all the friends there that you followed and who followed you. In theory, you could have all just left for somewhere else; in practice, you were hamstrung by the collective action problem.

It’s hard to get lots of people to do the same thing at the same time. You and your six friends here are going to struggle to agree on where to get drinks after tonight's lecture. How were you and your 200 Facebook friends ever gonna agree on when it was time to leave Facebook, and where to go?

So FB’s end-users engaged in a mutual hostage-taking that kept them glued to the platform. Then FB exploited that hostage situation, withdrawing the surplus from end-users and allocating it to two groups of business customers: advertisers, and publishers.

To the advertisers, FB said, 'Remember when we told those rubes we wouldn’t spy on them? We lied. We spy on them from asshole to appetite. We will sell you access to that surveillance data in the form of fine-grained ad-targeting, and we will devote substantial engineering resources to thwarting ad-fraud. Your ads are dirt cheap to serve, and we’ll spare no expense to make sure that when you pay for an ad, a real human sees it.'

To the publishers, FB said, 'Remember when we told those rubes we would only show them the things they asked to see? We lied!Upload short excerpts from your website, append a link, and we will nonconsensually cram it into the eyeballs of users who never asked to see it. We are offering you a free traffic funnel that will drive millions of users to your website to monetize as you please, and those users will become stuck to you when they subscribe to your feed.' And so advertisers and publishers became stuck to the platform, too, dependent on those users.

The users held each other hostage, and those hostages took the publishers and advertisers hostage, too, so that everyone was locked in.

Which meant it was time for the third stage of enshittification: withdrawing surplus from everyone and handing it to Facebook’s shareholders.

For the users, that meant dialing down the share of content from accounts you followed to a homeopathic dose, and filling the resulting void with ads and pay-to-boost content from publishers.

For advertisers, that meant jacking up prices and drawing down anti-fraud enforcement, so advertisers paid much more for ads that were far less likely to be seen by a person.

For publishers, this meant algorithmically suppressing the reach of their posts unless they included an ever-larger share of their articles in the excerpt, until anything less than fulltext was likely to be be disqualified from being sent to your subscribers, let alone included in algorithmic suggestion feeds.

And then FB started to punish publishers for including a link back to their own sites, so they were corralled into posting fulltext feeds with no links, meaning they became commodity suppliers to Facebook, entirely dependent on the company both for reach and for monetization, via the increasingly crooked advertising service.

When any of these groups squawked, FB just repeated the lesson that every tech executive learned in the Darth Vader MBA: 'I have altered the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.'

Facebook now enters the most dangerous phase of enshittification. It wants to withdraw all available surplus, and leave just enough residual value in the service to keep end users stuck to each other, and business customers stuck to end users, without leaving anything extra on the table, so that every extractable penny is drawn out and returned to its shareholders.

But that’s a very brittle equilibrium, because the difference between “I hate this service but I can’t bring myself to quit it,” and “Jesus Christ, why did I wait so long to quit? Get me the hell out of here!” is razor thin

All it takes is one Cambridge Analytica scandal, one whistleblower, one livestreamed mass-shooting, and users bolt for the exits, and then FB discovers that network effects are a double-edged sword.

If users can’t leave because everyone else is staying, when when everyone starts to leave, there’s no reason not to go, too.

That’s terminal enshittification, the phase when a platform becomes a pile of shit. This phase is usually accompanied by panic, which tech bros euphemistically call 'pivoting.'

Which is how we get pivots like, 'In the future, all internet users will be transformed into legless, sexless, low-polygon, heavily surveilled cartoon characters in a virtual world called "metaverse," that we ripped off from a 25-year-old satirical cyberpunk novel.'

That's the procession of enshittification. If enshittification were a disease, we'd call that enshittification's "natural history." But that doesn't tell you how the enshittification works, nor why everything is enshittifying right now, and without those details, we can't know what to do about it.

What led to the enshittocene? What is it about this moment that led to the Great Enshittening? Was it the end of the Zero Interest Rate Policy? Was it a change in leadership at the tech giants? Is Mercury in retrograde?

None of the above.

The period of free fed money certainly led to tech companies having a lot of surplus to toss around. But Facebook started enshittifying long before ZIRP ended, so did Amazon, Microsoft and Google.

Some of the tech giants got new leaders. But Google's enshittification got worse when the founders came back to oversee the company's AI panic (excuse me, 'AI pivot').

And it can't be Mercury in retrograde, because I'm a cancer, and as everyone knows, cancers don't believe in astrology.

When a whole bunch of independent entities all change in the same way at once, that's a sign that the environment has changed, and that's what happened to tech.

Tech companies, like all companies, have conflicting imperatives. On the one hand, they want to make money. On the other hand, making money involves hiring and motivating competent staff, and making products that customers want to buy. The more value a company permits its employees and customers to carve off, the less value it can give to its shareholders.

The equilibrium in which companies produce things we like in honorable ways at a fair price is one in which charging more, worsening quality, and harming workers costs more than the company would make by playing dirty.

There are four forces that discipline companies, serving as constraints on their enshittificatory impulses.

First: competition. Companies that fear you will take your business elsewhere are cautious about worsening quality or raising prices.

Second: regulation. Companies that fear a regulator will fine them more than they expect to make from cheating, will cheat less.

These two forces affect all industries, but the next two are far more tech-specific.

Third: self-help. Computers are extremely flexible, and so are the digital products and services we make from them. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing-complete Von Neumann machine, a computer that can run every valid program.

That means that users can always avail themselves of programs that undo the anti-features that shift value from them to a company's shareholders. Think of a board-room table where someone says, 'I've calculated that making our ads 20% more invasive will net us 2% more revenue per user.'

In a digital world, someone else might well say 'Yes, but if we do that, 20% of our users will install ad-blockers, and our revenue from those users will drop to zero, forever.'

This means that digital companies are constrained by the fear that some enshittificatory maneuver will prompt their users to google, 'How do I disenshittify this?'

Fourth and finally: workers. Tech workers have very low union density, but that doesn't mean that tech workers don't have labor power. The historical "talent shortage" of the tech sector meant that workers enjoyed a lot of leverage over their bosses. Workers who disagreed with their bosses could quit and walk across the street and get another job – a better job.

They knew it, and their bosses knew it. Ironically, this made tech workers highly exploitable. Tech workers overwhelmingly saw themselves as founders in waiting, entrepreneurs who were temporarily drawing a salary, heroic figures of the tech mission.

That's why mottoes like Google's 'don't be evil' and Facebook's 'make the world more open and connected' mattered: they instilled a sense of mission in workers. It's what Fobazi Ettarh calls 'vocational awe, 'or Elon Musk calls being 'extremely hardcore.'

Tech workers had lots of bargaining power, but they didn't flex it when their bosses demanded that they sacrifice their health, their families, their sleep to meet arbitrary deadlines.

So long as their bosses transformed their workplaces into whimsical 'campuses,' with gyms, gourmet cafeterias, laundry service, massages and egg-freezing, workers could tell themselves that they were being pampered – rather than being made to work like government mules.

But for bosses, there's a downside to motivating your workers with appeals to a sense of mission, namely: your workers will feel a sense of mission. So when you ask them to enshittify the products they ruined their health to ship, workers will experience a sense of profound moral injury, respond with outrage, and threaten to quit.

Thus tech workers themselves were the final bulwark against enshittification,

The pre-enshittification era wasn't a time of better leadership. The executives weren't better. They were constrained. Their worst impulses were checked by competition, regulation, self-help and worker power.

So what happened?

One by one, each of these constraints was eroded until it dissolved, leaving the enshittificatory impulse unchecked, ushering in the enshittoscene.

It started with competition. From the Gilded Age until the Reagan years, the purpose of competition law was to promote competition. US antitrust law treated corporate power as dangerous and sought to blunt it. European antitrust laws were modeled on US ones, imported by the architects of the Marshall Plan.

But starting in the neoliberal era, competition authorities all over the world adopted a doctrine called 'consumer welfare,' which held that monopolies were evidence of quality. If everyone was shopping at the same store and buying the same product, that meant it was the best store, selling the best product – not that anyone was cheating.

And so all over the world, governments stopped enforcing their competition laws. They just ignored them as companies flouted them. Those companies merged with their major competitors, absorbed small companies before they could grow to be big threats. They held an orgy of consolidation that produced the most inbred industries imaginable, whole sectors grown so incestuous they developed Habsburg jaws, from eyeglasses to sea freight, glass bottles to payment processing, vitamin C to beer.

Most of our global economy is dominated by five or fewer global companies. If smaller companies refuse to sell themselves to these cartels, the giants have free rein to flout competition law further, with 'predatory pricing' that keeps an independent rival from gaining a foothold.

When Diapers.com refused Amazon's acquisition offer, Amazon lit $100m on fire, selling diapers way below cost for months, until diapers.com went bust, and Amazon bought them for pennies on the dollar, and shut them down.

Competition is a distant memory. As Tom Eastman says, the web has devolved into 'five giant websites filled with screenshots of text from the other four,' so these giant companies no longer fear losing our business.

Lily Tomlin used to do a character on the TV show Laugh In, an AT&T telephone operator who'd do commercials for the Bell system. Each one would end with her saying 'We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.'

Today's giants are not constrained by competition.

They don't care. They don't have to. They're Google.

That's the first constraint gone, and as it slipped away, the second constraint – regulation – was also doomed.

When an industry consists of hundreds of small- and medium-sized enterprises, it is a mob, a rabble. Hundreds of companies can't agree on what to tell Parliament or Congress or the Commission. They can't even agree on how to cater a meeting where they'd discuss the matter.

But when a sector dwindles to a bare handful of dominant firms, it ceases to be a rabble and it becomes a cartel.

Five companies, or four, or three, or two, or just one company finds it easy to converge on a single message for their regulators, and without "wasteful competition" eroding their profits, they have plenty of cash to spread around.

Like Facebook, handing former UK deputy PM Nick Clegg millions every year to sleaze around Europe, telling his former colleagues that Facebook is the only thing standing between 'European Cyberspace' and the Chinese Communist Party.

Tech's regulatory capture allows it to flout the rules that constrain less concentrated sectors. They can pretend that violating labor, consumer and privacy laws is fine, because they violate them with an app.

This is why competition matters: it's not just because competition makes companies work harder and share value with customers and workers, it's because competition keeps companies from becoming too big to fail, and too big to jail.

Now, there's plenty of things we don't want improved through competition, like privacy invasions. After the EU passed its landmark privacy law, the GDPR, there was a mass-extinction event for small EU ad-tech companies. These companies disappeared en masse, and that's fine.

They were even more invasive and reckless than US-based Big Tech companies. After all, they had less to lose. We don't want competition in commercial surveillance. We don't want to produce increasing efficiency in violating our human rights.

But: Google and Facebook – who pretend they are called Alphabet and Meta – have been unscathed by European privacy law. That's not because they don't violate the GDPR (they do!). It's because they pretend they are headquartered in Ireland, one of the EU's most notorious corporate crime-havens.

And Ireland competes with the EU other crime havens – Malta, Luxembourg, Cyprus and sometimes the Netherlands – to see which country can offer the most hospitable environment for all sorts of crimes. Because the kind of company that can fly an Irish flag of convenience is mobile enough to change to a Maltese flag if the Irish start enforcing EU laws.

Which is how you get an Irish Data Protection Commission that processes fewer than 20 major cases per year, while Germany's data commissioner handles more than 500 major cases, even though Ireland is nominal home to the most privacy-invasive companies on the continent.

So Google and Facebook get to act as though they are immune to privacy law, because they violate the law with an app; just like Uber can violate labor law and claim it doesn't count because they do it with an app.

Uber's labor-pricing algorithm offers different drivers different payments for the same job, something Veena Dubal calls 'algorithmic wage discrimination.' If you're more selective about which jobs you'll take, Uber will pay you more for every ride.

But if you take those higher payouts and ditch whatever side-hustle let you cover your bills which being picky about your Uber drives, Uber will incrementally reduce the payment, toggling up and down as you grow more or less selective, playing you like a fish on a line until you eventually – inevitably – lose to the tireless pricing robot, and end up stuck with low wages and all your side-hustles gone.

Then there's Amazon, which violates consumer protection laws, but says it doesn't matter, because they do it with an app. Amazon makes $38b/year from its 'advertising' system. 'Advertising' in quotes because they're not selling ads, they're selling placements in search results.

The companies that spend the most on 'ads' go to the top, even if they're offering worse products at higher prices. If you click the first link in an Amazon search result, on average you will pay a 29% premium over the best price on the service. Click one of the first four items and you'll pay a 25% premium. On average you have to go seventeen items down to find the best deal on Amazon.

Any merchant that did this to you in a physical storefront would be fined into oblivion. But Amazon has captured its regulators, so it can violate your rights, and say, "it doesn't count, we did it with an app"

This is where that third constraint, self-help, would sure come in handy. If you don't want your privacy violated, you don't need to wait for the Irish privacy regulator to act, you can just install an ad-blocker.

More than half of all web users are blocking ads. But the web is an open platform, developed in the age when tech was hundreds of companies at each others' throats, unable to capture their regulators.

Today, the web is being devoured by apps, and apps are ripe for enshittification. Regulatory capture isn't just the ability to flout regulation, it's also the ability to co-opt regulation, to wield regulation against your adversaries.

Today's tech giants got big by exploiting self-help measures. When Facebook was telling Myspace users they needed to escape Rupert Murdoch’s evil crapulent Australian social media panopticon, it didn’t just say to those Myspacers, 'Screw your friends, come to Facebook and just hang out looking at the cool privacy policy until they get here'

It gave them a bot. You fed the bot your Myspace username and password, and it would login to Myspace and pretend to be you, and scrape everything waiting in your inbox, copying it to your FB inbox, and you could reply to it and it would autopilot your replies back to Myspace.

When Microsoft was choking off Apple's market oxygen by refusing to ship a functional version of Microsoft Office for the Mac – so that offices were throwing away their designers' Macs and giving them PCs with upgraded graphics cards and Windows versions of Photoshop and Illustrator – Steve Jobs didn't beg Bill Gates to update Mac Office.

He got his technologists to reverse-engineer Microsoft Office, and make a compatible suite, the iWork Suite, whose apps, Pages, Numbers and Keynote could perfectly read and write Microsoft's Word, Excel and Powerpoint files.

When Google entered the market, it sent its crawler to every web server on Earth, where it presented itself as a web-user: 'Hi! Hello! Do you have any web pages? Thanks! How about some more? How about more?'

But every pirate wants to be an admiral. When Facebook, Apple and Google were doing this adversarial interoperability, that was progress. If you try to do it to them, that's piracy.

Try to make an alternative client for Facebook and they'll say you violated US laws like the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and EU laws like Article 6 of the EUCD.

Try to make an Android program that can run iPhone apps and play back the data from Apple's media stores and they'd bomb you until the rubble bounced.

Try to scrape all of Google and they'll nuke you until you glowed.

Tech's regulatory capture is mind-boggling. Take that law I mentioned earlier, Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act or DMCA. Bill Clinton signed it in 1998, and the EU imported it as Article 6 of the EUCD in 2001

It is a blanket prohibition on removing any kind of encryption that restricts access to a copyrighted work – things like ripping DVDs or jailbreaking a phone – with penalties of a five-year prison sentence and a $500k fine for a first offense.

This law has been so broadened that it can be used to imprison creators for granting access to their own creations

Here's how that works: In 2008, Amazon bought Audible, an audiobook platform, in an anticompetitive acquisition. Today, Audible is a monopolist with more than 90% of the audiobook market. Audible requires that all creators on their platform sell with Amazon's "digital rights management," which locks it to Amazon's apps.

So say I write a book, then I read it into a mic, then I pay a director and an engineer thousands of dollars to turn that into an audiobook, and sell it to you on the monopoly platform, Audible, that controls more than 90% of the market.

If I later decide to leave Amazon and want to let you come with me to a rival platform, I am out of luck. If I supply you with a tool to remove Amazon's encryption from my audiobook, so you can play it in another app, I commit a felony, punishable by a 5-year sentence and a half-million-dollar fine, for a first offense.

That's a stiffer penalty than you would face if you simply pirated the audiobook from a torrent site. But it's also harsher than the punishment you'd get for shoplifting the audiobook on CD from a truck-stop. It's harsher than the sentence you'd get for hijacking the truck that delivered the CD.

So think of our ad-blockers again. 50% of web users are running ad-blockers. 0% of app users are running ad-blockers, because adding a blocker to an app requires that you first remove its encryption, and that's a felony (Jay Freeman calls this 'felony contempt of business-model').

So when someone in a board-room says, 'let's make our ads 20% more obnoxious and get a 2% revenue increase,' no one objects that this might prompt users to google, 'how do I block ads?' After all, the answer is, 'you can't.'

Indeed, it's more likely that someone in that board room will say, 'let's make our ads 100% more obnoxious and get a 10% revenue increase' (this is why every company wants you to install an app instead of using its website).

There's no reason that gig workers who are facing algorithmic wage discrimination couldn't install a counter-app that coordinated among all the Uber drivers to reject all jobs unless they reach a certain pay threshold.

No reason except felony contempt of business model, the threat that the toolsmiths who built that counter-app would go broke or land in prison, for violating DMCA 1201, the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, trademark, copyright, patent, contract, trade secrecy, nondisclosure and noncompete, or in other words: 'IP law.'

'IP' is just a euphemism for 'a law that lets me reach beyond the walls of my company and control the conduct of my critics, competitors and customers.' And 'app' is just a euphemism for 'a web-page wrapped enough IP to make it a felony to mod it to protect the labor, consumer and privacy rights of its user.'

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.

But what about that fourth constraint: workers?

For decades, tech workers' high degrees of bargaining power and vocational awe put a ceiling on enshittification. Even after the tech sector shrank to a handful of giants. Even after they captured their regulators so they could violate our consumer, privacy and labor rights. Even after they created 'felony contempt of business model' and extinguished self-help for tech users. Tech was still constrained by their workers' sense of moral injury in the face of the imperative to enshittify.

Remember when tech workers dreamed of working for a big company for a few years, before striking out on their own to start their own company that would knock that tech giant over?

Then that dream shrank to: work for a giant for a few years, quit, do a fake startup, get acqui-hired by your old employer, as a complicated way of getting a bonus and a promotion.

Then the dream shrank further: work for a tech giant for your whole life, get free kombucha and massages on Wednesdays.

And now, the dream is over. All that’s left is: work for a tech giant until they fire your ass, like those 12,000 Googlers who got fired last year six months after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years.

Workers are no longer a check on their bosses' worst impulses

Today, the response to 'I refuse to make this product worse' is, 'turn in your badge and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.'

I get that this is all a little depressing

OK, really depressing.

But hear me out! We've identified the disease. We've traced its natural history. We've identified its underlying mechanism. Now we can get to work on a cure.

There are four constraints that prevent enshittification: competition, regulation, self-help and labor.

To reverse enshittification and guard against its reemergence, we must restore and strengthen each of these.

On competition, it's actually looking pretty good. The EU, the UK, the US, Canada, Australia, Japan and China are all doing more on competition than they have in two generations. They're blocking mergers, unwinding existing ones, taking action on predatory pricing and other sleazy tactics.

Remember, in the US and Europe, we already have the laws to do this – we just stopped enforcing them in the Helmut Kohl era.

I've been fighting these fights with the Electronic Frontier Foundation for 22 years now, and I've never seen a more hopeful moment for sound, informed tech policy.

Now, the enshittifiers aren't taking this laying down. The business press can't stop talking about how stupid and old-fashioned all this stuff is. They call people like me 'hipster antitrust,' and they hate any regulator who actually does their job.

Take Lina Khan, the brilliant head of the US Federal Trade Commission, who has done more in three years on antitrust than the combined efforts of all her predecessors over the past 40 years. Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal has run more than 80 editorials trashing Khan, insisting that she's an ineffectual ideologue who can't get anything done.

Sure, Rupert, that's why you ran 80 editorials about her.

Because she can't get anything done.

Even Canada is stepping up on competition. Canada! Land of the evil billionaire! From Ted Rogers, who owns the country's telecoms; to Galen Weston, who owns the country's grocery stores; to the Irvings, who basically own the entire province of New Brunswick.

Even Canada is doing something about this. Last autumn, Trudeau's government promised to update Canada's creaking competition law to finally ban 'abuse of dominance.'

I mean, wow. I guess when Galen Weston decided to engage in a criminal conspiracy to fix the price of bread – the most Les Miz-ass crime imaginable – it finally got someone's attention, eh?

Competition has a long way to go, but all over the world, competition law is seeing a massive revitalization. Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher put antitrust law in a coma in the 80s – but it's awake, it's back, and it's pissed.

What about regulation? How will we get tech companies to stop doing that one weird trick of adding 'with an app' to their crimes and escaping enforcement?

Well, here in the EU, they're starting to figure it out. This year, the Digital Markets Act and the Digital Services Act went into effect, and they let people who get screwed by tech companies go straight to the federal European courts, bypassing the toothless watchdogs in Europe's notorious corporate crime havens like Ireland.

In America, they might finally get a digital privacy law. You people have no idea how backwards US privacy law is. The last time the US Congress enacted a broadly applicable privacy law was in 1988.

The Video Privacy Protection Act makes it a crime for video-store clerks to leak your video-rental history. It was passed after a right-wing judge who was up for the Supreme Court had his rentals published in a DC newspaper. The rentals weren't even all that embarrassing!

Sure, that judge, Robert Bork, wasn't confirmed for the Supreme Court, but that was because he was a virulently racist loudmouth and a crook who served as Nixon's Solicitor General.

But Congress got the idea that their video records might be next, freaked out, and passed the VPPA.

That was the last time Americans got a big, national privacy law. Nineteen. Eighty. Eight.

It's been a minute.

And the thing is, there's a lot of people who are angry about stuff that has some nexus with America's piss-poor privacy landscape. Worried that Facebook turned Grampy into a Qanon? That Insta made your teen anorexic? That TikTok is brainwashing millennials into quoting Osama Bin Laden?

Or that cops are rolling up the identities of everyone at a Black Lives Matter protest or the Jan 6 riots by getting location data from Google?

Or that Red State Attorneys General are tracking teen girls to out-of-state abortion clinics?

Or that Black people are being discriminated against by online lending or hiring platforms?

Or that someone is making AI deepfake porn of you?

Having a federal privacy law with a private right of action – which means that individuals can sue companies that violate their privacy – would go a long way to rectifying all of these problems. There's a big coalition for that kind of privacy law.

What about self-help? That's a lot farther away, alas.

The EU's DMA will force tech companies to open up their walled gardens for interoperation. You'll be able to use Whatsapp to message people on iMessage, or quit Facebook and move to Mastodon, but still send messages to the people left behind.

But if you want to reverse-engineer one of those Big Tech products and mod it to work for you, not them, the EU's got nothing for you.

This is an area ripe for improvement, and I think the US might be the first ones to open this up.

It's certainly on-brand for the EU to be forcing tech companies to do things a certain way, while the US simply takes away tech companies' abilities to prevent others from changing how their stuff works.

My big hope here is that Stein's Law will take hold: 'Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop'

Letting companies decide how their customers must use their products is simply too tempting an invitation to mischief. HP has a whole building full of engineers thinking of new ways to lock your printer to its official ink cartridges, forcing you to spend $10,000/gallon on ink to print your boarding passes and shopping lists.

It's offensive. The only people who don't agree are the people running the monopolies in all the other industries, like the med-tech monopolists who are locking their insulin pumps to their glucose monitors, turning people with diabetes into walking inkjet printers.

Finally, there's labor. Here in Europe, there's much higher union density than in the US, which American tech barons are learning the hard way. There is nothing more satisfying in the daily news than the latest salvo by Nordic unions against that Tesla guy (Musk is the most Edison-ass Tesla guy imaginable).

But even in the USA, there's a massive surge in tech unions. Tech workers are realizing that they aren't founders in waiting. The days of free massages and facial piercings and getting to wear black tee shirts that say things your boss doesn't understand are coming to an end.

In Seattle, Amazon's tech workers walked out in sympathy with Amazon's warehouse workers, because they're all workers.

The only reason the tech workers aren't monitored by AI that notifies their managers if they visit the toilet during working hours is their rapidly dwindling bargaining power. The way things are going, Amazon programmers are going to be pissing in bottles next to their workstations (for a guy who built a penis-shaped rocket, Jeff Bezos really hates our kidneys).

We're seeing bold, muscular, global action on competition, regulation and labor, with self-help bringing up the rear. It's not a moment too soon, because the bad news is, enshittification is coming to every industry.

If it's got a networked computer in it, the people who made it can run the Darth Vader MBA playbook on it, changing the rules from moment to moment, violating your rights and then saying 'It's OK, we did it with an app.'

From Mercedes renting you your accelerator pedal by the month to Internet of Things dishwashers that lock you into proprietary dishsoap, enshittification is metastasizing into every corner of our lives.

Software doesn't eat the world, it enshittifies it

But there's a bright side to all this: if everyone is threatened by enshittification, then everyone has a stake in disenshittification.

Just as with privacy law in the US, the potential anti-enshittification coalition is massive, it's unstoppable.

The cynics among you might be skeptical that this will make a difference. After all, isn't "enshittification" the same as "capitalism"?

Well, no.

Look, I'm not going to cape for capitalism here. I'm hardly a true believer in markets as the most efficient allocators of resources and arbiters of policy – if there was ever any doubt, capitalism's total failure to grapple with the climate emergency surely erases it.

But the capitalism of 20 years ago made space for a wild and wooly internet, a space where people with disfavored views could find each other, offer mutual aid, and organize.

The capitalism of today has produced a global, digital ghost mall, filled with botshit, crapgadgets from companies with consonant-heavy brand-names, and cryptocurrency scams.

The internet isn't more important than the climate emergency, nor gender justice, racial justice, genocide, or inequality.

But the internet is the terrain we'll fight those fights on. Without a free, fair and open internet, the fight is lost before it's joined.

We can reverse the enshittification of the internet. We can halt the creeping enshittification of every digital device.

We can build a better, enshittification-resistant digital nervous system, one that is fit to coordinate the mass movements we will need to fight fascism, end genocide, and save our planet and our species.

Martin Luther King said 'It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.'

And it may be true that the law can't force corporate sociopaths to conceive of you as a human being entitled to dignity and fair treatment, and not just an ambulatory wallet, a supply of gut-bacteria for the immortal colony organism that is a limited liability corporation.

But it can make that exec fear you enough to treat you fairly and afford you dignity, even if he doesn't think you deserve it.

And I think that's pretty important.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel/a>

Back the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle here!

Image: Drahtlos (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Motherboard_Intel_386.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

 -   

cdessums (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Monsoon_Season_Flagstaff_AZ_clouds_storm.jpg

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

[pen-and-umbra]

So far, Episode 2 has been quite intriguing. The following is a stream of consciousness with some preliminary theories.

The wisp-things are extremely suspicious. At first glance, they appear to be linked to Masamune the Swordsmith (who kind of resembles a wraith or another type of undead?), but in fact they are Jenova-coded, with those distinctive purple/magenta hue visuals. 

Consequently, Sephiroth's "dream" sequence seems to be induced, similar to Angeal's. The telling purple/magenta vignette around the edges implies Jenova's influence.

Then there's Alissa, who resembles Lucrecia and makes the strangely accurate assumption that she reminds Sephiroth of his mother.

So, what do we have so far? We have an anomalous, off-limits zone that the locals avoid. No one knows how the village was destroyed. We have a legendary swordsmith, whose life-force (?) appears to be maintained by unknown means. We got some classic Jenova effects, purple visuals, and possibly induced lucid dreams or hallucinations. And we have a mysterious carnage survivor who resembles Sephiroth's mother.

My supposition is that there's a remnant of Jenova residing in Igara Forbidden Zone. I previously explored some unusual possibilities derived from the Temple of Ancients narration in FFVIIRebirth, where the Cetra mentioned their celestial adversary's "scattered malignancy". [Link] Unless the message is to be interpreted as prophetic, referencing ShinRA age experiments, it implies that Jenova's biologics were already “scattered” during Cetra's time.

What if the Igara Forbidden Zone ended up sitting atop a sealed deposit of Jenova's biological matter from the Cetran War?

The ground is depicted as having cracks, with some kind of purple substance visible beneath. Furthermore, Angeal observes that the soil is as fine as ash but glitters — and remarkably fresh Jenova's blood or goo has been shown to glitter in the ShinRA headquarters.

So perhaps at some point in time, the residents discover the sealed organic traces. Someone like a swordsmith would be closely dealing with matters of mining ore, so there's a chance of mining taking place in the vicinity. The mining process may have unearthed biological remains that had been buried for eons. Alternatively, there could have been ancient Cetran ruins nearby—perhaps an entombment site—that were intended to seal off alien matter. The opening sequence does feature what appears to be an abandoned Petra-inspired temple carved into the rock.

Although it has strong Wutaian ornamental motifs, it could be a repurposed Cetran site, so the idea stands. 

Masamune's lifespan, if he is a living being, appears to be much longer than that of a normal human, or so his speech about finding a wielder for his masterwork implies. Lucrecia's situation immediately comes to mind, as the compilation states that Jenova cells prevent her from dying, thereby extending her life. While this is an unlikely scenario, Masamune appears to be bound and unable to rest until his sword is passed on.

In this case, it is almost implied that the sword possesses its own power. Could this be a cursed masterpiece? Could Jenova's remnant essence from the ancient war have been mixed in during Masamune's forging process? After all, during the battle, the swordsmith does display those Jenova-esque visual effects.

Another peculiar and somewhat ominous link between Jenova and Sephiroth's weapon can be seen in his dream/hallucination sequence. Jenova-Lucrecia gives Sephiroth a "charm" to wrap around his sword, promising to "always be with him".

Granted, it could be a manifestation of his deepest desires (such as wanting to eat pumpkin soup again), but the purplish Jenova-esque vignette at the edges of his vision lends the scene a sinister feel. What if her power is actually imbued in the weapon Sephiroth carries? In that way, her shadow is always present beside him. 

The act of wielding Masamune is presented as some type of a tipping point in the opening sequence as well. During the intro Alissa mentions that she feels like the world will change once Sephiroth takes up the sword. The notion is further implicitly corroborated by Bachman, who stated the "course of history was altered forever".

Speaking of Alissa, according to FFVII Rebirth, Jenova can "peer into one's soul" and transform into those they hate, fear, or love. With this in mind, Alissa's resemblance to Lucrecia is extremely suspicious and raises numerous questions. Is she real, or a hallucination? It's telling that her face isn't revealed until the party comes into contact with suspicious purple wisps (which allegedly manifest as Masamune battle).

For all we know, if Jenova’s presence is there — if her power is unchained and lingers — then Alissa's might look completely different for Angeal, as her appearance is being specifically tailored to the beholder. It's also worth noting that the opening sequence features frequent flashes of Alissa surrounded by purple wisps and glitching.

To continue this line of thought, is it really coincidental that Bachman is carrying a camera, a device that captures unbiased visuals? Is it really an accident that Bachman is later portrayed as a mumbling, disorganized mess, despite the fact that he ostensibly never participated in the SOLDIER program? It's almost as if someone didn't want him to reveal his findings.

Written by @pen-and-umbra

[anim-ttrpgs]

Fairy Player Character Rules in Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy

Eureka has six playable "monster" types, and about ten total supernatural character options all together. Each supernatural trait is taken basically as if it is a normal trait like the ones you have been seeing us post. You cannot give a character more than one supernatural trait--and from what you are about to read, you probably wouldn't want to. Playing monsters is recommended for "advanced" players only, people who like a lot of "crunch" in their games, as require you to keep track of a lot more mechanics than playing a normal human.

Here is the Fairy Trait as it appears in its overhauled state which will be coming in the next release. The August itchio beta does not currently have these overhauled monster traits(though, you could just use this post as reference if you wanted to play with the overhauled fairy rules, we don't mind! They're much better rules and we want people to have the most fun possible!)

If you are reading this past about October 24th, then there is a good chance that the itchio beta actually has been updated to include these improved rules, fingers crossed!

Anyway here we go. This is going under a Read More because it's long as hell but we really hope that you will check it out and comment. This is, like, the whole entire ruleset for playing a fairy in Eureka.

Stay tuned for the overhauled Wolfman rules next week!

Fairy (Monster Trait) 

“Fairy” is a bit of a nebulous term, and has been used to describe all sorts of things which, thanks to modern fantasy literature, are now strictly sorted into all sorts of distinct categories such as elf, goblin, dwarf, fairy, pixie, etc. in our culture, when in the past when such legends were told, many of these words were just different regional names for the same or similar phenomenon in Northern Europe and the British Isles. Mysterious beings outside of normal society—and who may have an entirely separate society of their own—who live by a bizarre set of rules and are as likely to grant a boon as steal one’s child.

What a fairy can actually do is similarly often nebulous, though there are a small handful of through-lines which we extrapolate from. The modern categorization that most people would probably use for the fairy being described by these rules is “elf.” Pointed ears, magic powers, and a sense of superiority.

A fairy investigator could be born and raised as a fairy by fairies, or they may have been raised by humans as a changeling.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Unlike with the Changeling Trait, a character with the Fairy Trait is a respectable, fully capable fairy regardless of their origin. That does not mean, however, that they cannot fall into disgrace by means other than the circumstances of their birth.

The Fairy rules tackle some very different themes compared to most of the other supernatural character options, but, mechanically, certainly don’t fit anywhere but the Monster category.

A lot of a fairy’s powers hinge on them knowing someone’s “full true name.” What exactly is meant by a person’s “full true name” is a matter of discussion between player and Narrator, but as a general guideline, if a person is named Jeremy Matthew Jones IV, then “Jeremy Matthew Jones IV” is needed, and just “Jeremy Jones” or “Jeremy M. Jones” won’t be enough. Nicknames also do not generally count. A fairy cannot make their magic work by just guessing a person’s true name, they have to know the name with certainty. 

Spiriting Away

Sometimes, a fairy wants someone to just go away forever, and they do.

So long as the fairy is not debilitated by a weakness, can see and is within 5 feet of the target, and knows the target’s full true name[1], at the fairy’s whim the target appears to simply pop out of existence, or at least out of this existence. If done while time is being measured in Turns, this takes one Movement. This can be done without the fairy knowing the full true name of the target, but under these circumstances, the fairy must make voluntary skin-to-skin contact with the target.[3] There are a number of explanations and possibilities as to what happens to them or where they go,[2] but for the purposes of gameplay, it does not matter, because the ‘camera’ of the story will never follow them there. They are out of the Scene, and potentially out of the adventure entirely. There will be no Scenes exploring the fate of a spirited away character. 

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] What exactly is meant by a person’s “full true name” is a matter of discussion between player and Narrator.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] They may be transported to a sort of “pocket dimension,” transported to the “fairy world” if such a thing even exists, still technically present but unable to interact with the rest of reality, or perhaps all or none of the above. It depends on the whim of the fairy - and they may not even know!

[2.1. Off to the side in the final formatting] A thorough explanation of fairy society and where they come from would be far beyond the scope of an investigative TTRPG, any fairy’ll tell you that. 

[3 off to the side in the final formatting] “Voluntary” means that the target knowingly accepts the physical contact and does not do anything to resist it, or initiates physical contact themselves voluntarily. They do not have to be aware that the fairy is a fairy or that the fairy intends to spirit them away.

Spiriting Back

It is much easier to send someone away than to bring them back.[1] To return someone they have spirited away, when not debilitated by a weakness, the fairy must make a full Success on a Nature, Paperwork, Blacked Out, or Senses roll. Each Skill can only be used to attempt this once per fairy per victim, and each attempt costs the fairy 1 point of Composure. If another fairy knows both the full true name of the victim and the full true name of the fairy which spirited them away, they may do the same, but with a -2 modifier.[2] 

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] It’s possible that the fairy’s household may have changed the servant’s name to thwart efforts to retrieve them.

[2 off to the side in the final formatting] The return of a spirited away person does not need to happen at the same location where they were first spirited away.

Taking Names

When not debilitated by a weakness, a fairy can be “given” a mortal’s name voluntarily, though the mortal need not fully understand the situation coming to pass.[1][this sentence sucks help me rewrite it]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] This could be anything from a formal signed contract detailing the transfer, to giving one’s full name in response to the simple request of “Can I have your name?” It is up to the fairy if they actually want to take the name or not. Voluntarily handing over a physical nametag could potentially count as well, if the nametag has the full true name.

A person whose name has been taken by a fairy will perpetually forget their own name, and will not respond to it when called by it. The fairy must take the full name of the victim for this to work, and a fairy will quickly become aware if they do not have the full name.[1] 

[1     off to the side in the final formatting] A fairy does not have to take possession of someone’s name to use name-based magic such as curses or spiriting away on them, they just have to know the name.

Write the person’s full true name in the fairy’s inventory. 

A fairy can relinquish a person’s name and return it to them at any time, from any place.

A fairy can also take possession of a person’s voice in the same way. If a voice has been taken, the person missing their voice will be unable to speak, and the fairy in possession of it will be able to speak in the taken voice at will.

Using Names

So long as a person is missing their name, no name-related magics, such as curses or a fairy’s spiriting away, will be able to affect them. These magics will instead affect the fairy in possession of the name.

Spiriting away has no effect on a fairy regardless of the name.

If a curse is put on a fairy through any of the names in their possession, they may instantly transfer the curse to any name they possess, and send that name back to the original owner, along with the curse.

A fairy can *truthfully* answer with any name in their possession when asked their name.

The Gentry

When not debilitated by a weakness, fairies have a +3 Base bonus to Wealth. Their Wealth Skill Rating and any Wealth bonus they get from any other Traits will also always be considered Base. While this means that Composure will cap their Wealth Skill checks during the adventure, it will not cap their Wealth Skill during the Wealth Point Roll in character creation.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Some kind of joke about exchange rates. 

Fairies also seem to be able to pull things out of the most unlikely of locations sometimes. Add +2 to the Property Modifier of any home or vehicle owned by the fairy.

A backpack, purse, duffle bag, or similar personal storage device given to a fairy at character creation at a WP cost of 2 will be a little bit bigger on the inside than it looks like on the outside, and can be used to roll Wealth for items just as a home or vehicle could, with a Property Modifier of -3.[1][2]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] This already accounts for their +2 Property Modifier bonus. It would be -5 otherwise.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] Maybe they could even cram a person in there with a bit of effort. If the fairy does try to cram an unwilling person into their purse or whatever, consider this to require a successful Hold. Regardless of compliance, this will deal 2 Superficial Damage.

Glamor

When not debilitated by a weakness, fairies appear supernaturally attractive and supernaturally well-groomed at just about all times. They have a +2 Base bonus to all Interpersonal Skills except Social Cues and Threaten.

A Keen Interest

Fairies gain +1 Investigation Point for any Investigative Roll that involves asking or otherwise inquiring about someone’s family history or personal identity.[1]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] “Personal identity as in how a person would identify and think of themselves. This would not apply to a fairy asking “Who is the killer?”

Weather Affect

When not debilitated by a weakness, fairies can exert very minor influence over the weather in a localized region of about a mile radius around them for the duration of a Scene. They could not turn a hurricane into a sunny day, but they could turn a storm into a drizzle, a drizzle into a cloudy day (or vice versa). They could raise or lower the temperature by about ten degrees Fahrenheit, cause the fog to thicken or dissipate, part the clouds to allow sunlight or moonlight through, or help block it out, etc. 

With use of a Eureka! Point, the fairy can change the weather much more drastically, such as summoning a violent rainstorm out of nowhere, initiating a snap freeze or sudden thaw, or parting the clouds during a hurricane. 

With use of a Eureka! Point,[1] a fairy can extend the duration of the weather change to last for the whole day, and one day per Eureka! Point after. 

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] This is a separate Eureka! Point usage from the above option of making the weather change more drastically, though they can be combined to make the drastically changed weather last longer. 

Poltergeist Activity

When not debilitated by a weakness, fairies have the ability to exert “poltergeist activity” in their general vicinity, such as within their line of sight or the building[1] they are in. This ability essentially causes chaos and unexplainable accidents. Equipment malfunctions, food mysteriously spoils, objects fall over or off shelves, people trip and drop things, unidentifiable banging may be heard, etc.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] The wing or floor of the building they are in, if it is an exceptionally large building.

For each use of this ability, the Narrator rolls 3 hidden D6s. For each 4 or above, something advantageous to the fairy will happen, and for each 3 or below, something disadvantageous or at best unhelpful to the fairy will happen. When deciding what happens, use the same logic as Woo Rolls. Whatever is the most obvious thing to happen happens.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Beware, use of this ability can have catastrophic consequences in places where people’s lives rely on the proper functioning of sensitive equipment or strict safety regulations, such as hospitals or construction sites.

Curses

So long as they are not debilitated by a weakness, by speaking the intended target’s full true name,[1][2] a fairy can place a terrible curse on an unsuspecting victim from anywhere in the world.

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] This must be done with intent to curse, it doesn’t just happen every time the fairy says someone’s name.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] What exactly is meant by a person’s “full true name” is a matter of discussion between player and Narrator.

Casting a curse requires a supernatural ability Composure roll.

Casting a curse takes one Movement. The curse takes effect immediately, and will last for 14 days by default before wearing off completely. As the curse is cast, roll 1D12+1+[Relevant Skill]. Which Skill is used will vary depending on the curse. The result is the number of days by which the fairy may extend or reduce the curse's duration. If the result is a negative number, reduce the fairy’s Composure by the same amount. A fairy may use the Focus Eureka! Point ability to add an additional 1D12 to this roll and drop the lowest die.

If a curse is reduced to a duration of “0 days,” it will only take effect for the duration of a single Scene. 

Fairies may place curses upon themselves if they so desire. 

A second curse placed upon the same target will extend its duration, but only the effect of one type of curse can apply at once.

Effects of Fairy Curses

Each curse has a different Skill associated with it. 

Curse of Transformation

This curse uses the Nature Skill. The target will be spontaneously transformed into an animal of the fairy’s preference.[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Their clothes don’t transform with them.

The fairy must make a Full Success on a Nature roll to choose an animal that is not on the following list.

Cat

Frog

Mouse

Newt

Pig

Rat

Toad

Wolf[1]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] For the stats of a wolf, see p.xx “Werewolf”. The rest of these do not have official stats, but we expect you to be able to figure out what they would be good and bad at.

The target will maintain a functional degree of human intelligence while in this form, at least for some time. Once their human mind is lost, the curse cannot be removed, and will never revert after any amount of time. The curse will also never revert if the target dies while transformed.

For an NPC, the Narrator rolls a hidden 1D6+3. This is how many days the target will retain their humanity.

For an investigator, the Narrator rolls a hidden 1D6. After this number of days, if the transformed investigator ever reaches 0 Composure, their humanity will be lost.

Curse of Reduction

This curse uses the Visual Calculus Skill. The target will be spontaneously reduced to between 5% and 10% of their original size.[1][2]

[1 off to the side in the final formatting] Their clothes and items may or may not shrink with them, at the caster’s preference.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] For a 72” person, that would be between 3.6” and 7.2”.

If the target dies while shrunken, the curse will never revert.

Curse of Petrification

This curse uses the Chemistry Skill. The target, including their clothes, will be spontaneously turned to stone. At the preference of the caster, they may or may not retain awareness of their surroundings. If kept aware, they will lose 2 Composure per day, and if unaware, 1 Composure per day, until they are effectively dead, at which point the curse cannot be reverted.[1] If the curse is reverted, either by it wearing off before the point of no return, or being broken, any damage the target sustained as a statue will immediately take effect. For example, chips in their stone body become lacerations in their living body. If an arm was broken off of the statue, their arm is now severed. If the statue suffers fatal damage, the curse will not be able to be reverted. If unaware, then reverting the curse will feel like waking up from a long and restless sleep. The target does not need to eat or sleep so long as they are petrified.

[1 off to the ads in the final formatting] For NPCs, consider them to have 1D6+1 Composure to lose before it starts to eat into their Superficial HP.

Curse of Slumber

This curse uses the Medicine Skill. The next time they fall asleep, the victim will fall into a coma-like state for the duration of the curse. The target will lose 1 Composure per day until the curse either reverts or they die.[1] Unlike with petrification, the body must breathe and be fed during this time.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] For NPCs, consider them to have 1D6+1 Composure to lose before it starts to eat into their Superficial HP.

Curse of Death

This curse uses the Blacked Out Skill. The target begins to take 2 Superficial Damage each day for the duration of the curse or until they die, and will be unable to regain HP or Composure through sleep. In addition, apply a -3 modifier to all their rolls.

Breaking a Curse

There are a number of ways for a fairy to break a curse. If the ailment is not immediately identifiable as a curse, a Full Success on any Knowledge Skill check by a fairy will positively identify whether it is or not. 

The death of the curse’s caster will not remove the curse, and fairies cannot simply lift their own curses at will. 

To lift any curse, the fairy must know the full true name of the victim, and must make a Full Success on a Nature, Paperwork, Blacked Out, or Senses roll with a -2 modifier. Each Skill can only be used to attempt this once per fairy per curse, and each attempt costs the fairy 1 point of Composure.

True Love’s Kiss

A kiss can sometimes be all it takes to lift a curse, and it doesn’t even have to be a kiss from a fairy. The Narrator rolls a hidden D6 once the victim has been kissed. On a 7, the curse will be broken by the kiss. If it fails, another kiss from the same person will not work either.[1]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting.] Morgie’s kisses always lift curses.

Add +1 to the roll if the kisser truly loves the victim.

Add +1 to the roll if the kisser is female.

Add +1 to the roll if the kisser is of noble or royal lineage, or is a fairy.

Mage Power

Every fairy has one Mage Power by default. A fairy may have any number of additional Mage Powers, but for each additional Mage Power, increase the number of Investigation Points required for the fairy to gain a Eureka! Point by one.

Fairies can only make use of these powers when not debilitated by a weakness.

Misc. Fairy Features

Every fairy character must have one or more of the following features.[1][2]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] The expectations placed upon a fairy has affected them, whether directly or through rebellion.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] In many cases “what happens to fairies who aren’t cut out for the thing they’re prescribed at birth” and “why is this fairy hanging out with a bunch of humans” have the same answer. Other times, fairies just might want to unwind in a world where the stakes are lower and their riches higher.

[2.1. Off to the side in the final formatting] It’s only humans.

Pointed Ears

It is said that fairies with pointed ears are always eavesdropping on others’ conversations and internalizing their secrets, but who isn’t? This is the most common feature among all fairies.+2 Contextual bonus to Senses rolls involving hearing.[1]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] These ears are articulate, and their position will often betray a fairy’s mood.

Antlers/Horns

It is said that fairies with antlers or horns are stubborn to a fault and should never be trusted with nuanced decision making, but are very fit for positions of authority.

The fairy is considered to be wearing a helmet when struck with bludgeoning weapons.

Irregularly Shaped Pupils

Some say that fairies with eyes like these eyes can gain very brief glimpses into the immediate future. That’s not how it works, but there is something going on. The fairy has a +1 Contextual bonus to Reflexes and Visual Calculus.

Tapetum Lucidum

The fairy’s eyes will reflect light and appear to shine in darkness. They are not affected by low-light conditions, unless the environment is completely lightless.

Unusual Number of Teeth

Fairies with unusual rows of teeth are thought to be liars.

Glowing Skin

At all times, the fairy’s skin emits a very faint glow and may even sparkle.[1] Apply a -2 penalty to Stealth in any darkened area. At will, the fairy may intensify this glow enough to dimly light a dark room.[2]

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] This may be colored or white light.

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] It’s said that these fairies always want to be the center of attention, but what fairy doesn’t?

Furry Legs and Hooves

The fairy’s legs are more like those of a goat or deer than a human’s. Any sort of kick from these hooves can deal Penetrative Damage. Fairies born with these qualities are thought to grow up to be sexual deviants.

Wings

The fairy has large insect-like wings on their back, such as resembling a butterfly or dragonfly. So long as these wings are uncovered, the fairy may fly and hover freely, in such a way that does not seem to actually be directly related to the intensity by of the wing beats, as long as they are able to spread out and flap.[1] When flying, the fairy has +5 Acceleration. 

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] Fairies with wings such as these are thought to be flaky and noncommittal.

Marked Skin

The fairy has elaborate markings across at least a third of the surface area of their entire body, which could be passed off as regular tattoos to the untrained eye. Add +1 to all Composure rolls made by the fairy for non-skill supernatural ability usage. 

Short Temper, Long Grudges (Fairy True Nature)

Fairies are able to regain Composure Points from restful sleep, and will take Flat Composure Damage if they do not sleep. Fairies will take Flat Composure Damage as normal for skipping meals, but do not regain Composure Points for eating three meals a day. 

Fairies are known for their short tempers, long grudges, and difficulty letting things slide. Fairies must have “Disrespect” at some rank on their Tiers of Fear.[2] This Composure roll is made when the fairy is slighted, insulted, intruded upon, ignored, or otherwise disrespected by others, whether disrespect was the intent or not.[1] If the one disrespecting the fairy is a changeling, always consider this an exacerbating factor.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] A fairy might even consider accidental disrespect to be worse. To think that they weren’t even thinking about how rude that would come off…

[2. Off to the side in the final formatting] Lying to a fairy, expecting them to lie, or accusing them of lying, is considered disrespectful. In this case, make it a Lying Composure Roll (see below), but all the same rules regarding Composure loss and restoration apply.

Keep track of how much Composure was lost as a result of a Disrespect Composure roll. If at any point the fairy enacts disproportionate revenge upon the person who slighted them, then this revenge will restore the amount of Composure that was lost +1. If the act of revenge results in permanent or otherwise life-altering consequences for the victim, then the revenge will restore double the amount of Composure that was lost.

Trickster 

Pranking, humiliating, or otherwise “whimsically” exerting power over mortals will also restore a fairy’s Composure.[1] If the effects are temporary, this restores 1 Composure. If the effects are permanent or otherwise life-altering, this restores 2 Composure. Double these values if the target is a changeling.

[1. Off to the side in the final formatting] How well can a fairy establish a relationship with someone they have been raised to look down on so pointedly?

Exchange

Where fairies come from, nothing is given freely, and if no one else is going to name the price, they will. Fairies must have “Debt Discrepancy” somewhere on their Tiers of Fear.

If a fairy accepts aid, or accepts something given, they must provide something in exchange, or else they must make this Composure roll. If the other party does not name a price, then anything will do, even a smile.

If the fairy’s aid or possessions are accepted or taken by another person, and the other party does not name a price, the fairy must decide upon something that they are owed, and do everything in their power to ensure that this price is paid, or else they must make this Composure roll. The fairy also has a +1 Contextual bonus to any Skill check which will directly result in collecting on this debt. The price they name may be anywhere from something as inconsequential as a single penny, to eternal servitude.

Honest to a Fault (Fairy Weakness)

Segue? 

Lived Under a Rock, or Maybe a Mushroom

Whether the “fairy world” is actually real or not, fairies certainly seem to come from a different world. Fairies have a -1 penalty to all Investigative Rolls using Knowledge Skills.

Cannot Lie

Fairies must have “Lying” somewhere on their Tiers of Fear. If a fairy tells a lie, they must make this Composure roll, but lies of omission or statements that are technically true but phrased in a misleading way do not count. Additionally, if a fairy learns that they have been lied to, or otherwise does not believe what they are told, they make this Composure roll.

Fairies have a -2 penalty to Social Cues.

Iron

Iron, and alloys of iron, will irritate a fairy’s skin on contact, often causing an itchy rash.

Iron, but not steel or other alloys, will also render a fairy powerless so long as it is in physical contact with their body, giving them a -2 to all rolls, and debilitating them. This will not undo any curses or spiriting aways that have already been enacted.

Their Own Name

A fairy’s full true name is perhaps their greatest weakness. If a fairy’s full true name is spoken to them with intent, the fairy will be debilitated for the remainder of the Scene. This must be the fairy’s own name, not one they have taken from someone else. This will break any ongoing curses by the fairy that have not already become permanent, but will not return any spirited away people.

[illmoraineakoi]

Timeline Implications

I'm a timeline nerd, so one of the first things I tend to become intrigued by is when hard dates are introduced into a series.

In AvA11, we get a ton of new ones (for Victim), but there's one that stuck out to me as...confusing.

2011?

2007 to 20...11?

Now, this might not seem so strange at first glance, if it wasn't for the event that is about to happen:

Dark and Chosen's attack on Newgrounds.

Why is this weird?

Because Dark and Chosen only escape Alan's pc on October 2, 2011.

And the Flashback shows them attacking three other things before they attack Newgrounds.

It's always been the assumption of the fandom that these attacks happened over the ~7 year interim between AvA3 and AvA Season 2 (which all happens on August 18, 2018.) IE: these four attacks were spread out over years.

But this isn't what AvA11 is saying.

It is saying that the Newgrounds attack (and probably all of them if they were in chronological order, but specifically Newgrounds) happened somewhere between October 2 and December 31st 2011.

A timespan of 2 months and 29 days, MAX.

It's strange, isn't it?

The Flashback had been the setup for why Chosen had a change of heart, as well as showing Dark just going off the fucking rails into becoming a murderous psychopath. It's weird that those two things would happen so quickly.

And leave literally YEARS worth of time they spent together a complete mystery. What in the hell were they doing, between 2012 and 2018, if they've already had their Establishing Character Events???

They were together that entire time. They're living together. Are there more attacks The Flashback just didn't show?

Or was the Flashback not entirely what we thought it was...?

There is a clear disconnect, between the Newgrounds scene in the Flashback, and the Newgrounds scene in AvA11:

[gif from @octdl-lee]

Not once is Chosen shown doing what he, supposedly, did in the Flashback. Meaning the events of the Flashback might not be entirely accurate to what actually happened, but more like Chosen's FEELINGS towards them. Or perhaps what HE interprets his own actions to have been like, a perspective that isn't accurate to how things looked from the outside.

The Flashback is, ultimately, showing Chosen's own recollected memories, memories that could be tainted and flawed by his own emotions and regrets at the time we're seeing them.

Chosen could be an unreliable narrator, of sorts.

Could this imply that the Newgrounds attack isn't actually the final straw for Chosen's own character change that we thought it was? Was it just a large enough event that affected him, opened his eyes to Dark's nature, that it was one of the ones he was remembering on the way back to the Outernet?

None of this really helps to explain anything about the timeline.

It doesn't make sense, for the Newgrounds attack to happen at the end of 2011, with Dark doing virtually NOTHING until 2018. Not for his character, which is shown reveling in destruction, who enjoyed attacking websites. He likes to destroy shit and cause chaos for the hell of it. He's an evil little bastard. He wouldn't just sit around twiddling his thumbs for 6 and a half years, no matter how nicely Chosen asked him to, and it did NOT take him that long to make the Virabots either.

[And that's something that's grinded my gears for years, why did Dark target Alan again after so many years??? Him sending the virabot to his PC just seems so out of the blue.]

There has to be more we haven't seen. There are far too many unanswered questions, about BOTH OF THEM, between the Newgrounds attack and the creation of the Virabot.

Was the Newgrounds attack instead the BEGINNING of Chosen's change of heart, not the end of it?

Or...

Was there more than one Newgrounds attack?

Did Chosen and Dark target certain popular websites, repeatedly?

That absolutely sounds like something Dark would do. It sounds like something Dark would ENJOY doing.

I don't know. There's so many unanswered questions with Dark and Chosen, it's hard to put the peices together. Especially now, when so many things keep tying back to Chosen and Dark's past. Mostly Dark. Because he's the bastard who keeps starting shit that somehow ends up getting Chosen into trouble.

Did they even go to the Outernet after they escaped? Or did they just jump right into destroying stuff?

They were clearly very satisfied with themselves after destroying Alan's PC, so why would they stop there?

Why wouldn't they ride the internet webstrings to Yahoo and blow it to smithereens? (Also Alan are you okay, you've targeted Yahoo like three times now, what did it do to hurt you?) Why not go destroy Angry Birds? Why not attack StickPage?

Why not Newgrounds, a website that Chosen must have known was a favorite of Alan's, considering he was used as a popup blocker for Alan's INTERNET BROWSER.

They could have absolutely just went on a rampage immediately after escaping. Four massive things attacked and nearly completely destroyed, in a single afternoon. Not even a single day, it was already 3:39 pm when they destroyed Alan's PC.

That's why I think 2011 was chosen in the episode, and not a much more reasonable 2012 or beyond. No significant event happened in 2012, and the date was clearly meant to induce a foreboding feeling into the viewers who KNOW the timeline. 2011 is significant to Dark and Chosen's part of the timeline. There was no other date they could have used, not until the entirety of Season 2 itself.

AvA11 has filled a TON of holes in Victim's story and in the lore as a whole, but it's also left us with a TON more questions about Chosen and Dark's histories, and their place in the overarching narrative.

Hopefully, one day we'll get some answers to these questions just like we did for Victim.

And maybe Chosen can get some fucking character development, like holy shit, literally every other hollow head's got hobbies and interests but my boi doesn't. Get him some personality, please.

[ozzgin]

heya...!!!! Sweetypie 🍓🥧🧁.... It's me again, i want to make a request again...if you don't mind 😃.

Can you make a request regarding creepypasta with ticci tobby and eyelash Jack .Previous request for a creepypasta

Most certainly! Though my drafts are a mess so I’m no longer sure what the previous request refers to. ;-; Hopefully this is close to what you pictured.

Yandere! Creepypasta x Reader

Featuring Ticci-Toby and Eyeless Jack and a clueless reader that caught their attention. TW: dubious consent, gore and violence

Ticci-Toby

Oh, he really can’t explain it but you’ve tied his heart into a knot. His chest is tight and it’s almost as if his lungs struggle to get enough oxygen. You seem kind and he can’t help but daydream that he’s the subject to your friendly gestures. He feels like a spoiled child, drinking up every drop of affection, tipsy with delight. If only those doll eyes of yours looked at him.

He’s hesitant to approach you because his moods are so unpredictable. He’d love to shower you in adoration and spend the rest of his life protecting you from any threats. Then comes his rage and he’s tempted to scratch your face off for smiling to anyone else but him. Why are you trying so hard for other people? No one appreciates you as much as he does, (Y/N). Is his attention not enough? Does he need to hold your gaze in by force?

Suffice to say that Ticci-Toby can be extremely jealous and possessive well before you’re even aware of his existence. Unlike Eyeless Jack, however, he is very open about his displays of love and doesn’t wait too long to introduce himself. His impulsive desires take over any consideration he’s had regarding your safety in front of his mood swings. He can worry about it when it actually happens. Now matter the anger, he’d never hurt his darling, would he? It’s the others that will have to pay.

If he’s feeling particularly hyperactive he will begin parroting his reasons for your fated romance and why you were meant to be. If anxiety equates in, the narrations turn into regurgitated, repetitive questions stemming out of insecurity. Are you really certain you haven’t gotten tired of him? Truly, without a doubt? Perhaps you were thinking of leaving him? The interrogations culminate in desperate begging for reassurance. Please let him know you’ll never, ever abandon him. Otherwise he will have to guarantee it himself one way or another.

Eyeless Jack

You happened to be the next victim on his list. The creature stood above your sleeping form in absolute silence. You barely shuffled at the sudden coldness from the edge of the scalpel coming into contact with your abdomen. The blade, however, remained still on the surface. The hollow sockets were fixated on your unconscious face, seemingly deep in consideration.

He can’t quite pinpoint a reasoning to it, but your presence has caught his interest. On the bright side, you get to keep your kidney. The only caveat is that you now have a rather dedicated admirer with a less orthodox approach to his growing crush.

Jack primarily enjoys watching you from afar and leaves only vague hints of his presence. Which, of course, depends on your definition of vague. At first you didn’t make the connection between the people wronging you in your daily life and the mysterious packages you’d receive in the mail containing frozen raw organs. You had assumed some neighbor might’ve gotten some subscription for their dog and messed up the address. As the news piled up, often involving these particular people as abruptly missing, your suspicions increased. Especially after noticing that none of your neighbors seem to have pets. And then the love notes started and you nearly threw up next to your mailbox.

Jack is fidgeting like a schoolgirl upon seeing your reaction to his confessions. Could you be that overwhelmed by his love? It wasn’t a big deal, really. He’s just doing what he’s best at. He’s just glad to ease your life by erasing the factors that upset you. You don’t have to worry about returning his favors. Humans come with two kidneys for a reason, after all. They were made for sharing.

Now that he’s gotten his answer, he can confidently approach you. He can’t wait to get his claws on you. You look stunning from a distance, too, but nothing compares to actually feeling you. Hearing your whimpers of shy protest, sensing the increased pulse tumultuously running through your veins, observing your pupils contract in mild…fear? No, most likely just excitement. His spiraling black eyes (or rather, lack of) devour your presence with anatomical curiosity. If he’s careful enough, he might even play with you a little. He’ll be extra careful with his darling.

[inbarfink]

I’ve said it elsewhere but although the idea of Silas Mann being Zepheniah’s brother that he not only killed, but totally wiped off the Mann Family History seems to be a pretty popular Headcanon/fan-theory (and often also paired with the idea that the Administrator was his daughter and that this is what originally sparked her eternally burning hatred for Zepheniah).....I personally can’t bring myself to buy it.

First of all, the one confirmed image of Silas Mann in life is in this Mann Family Portrait

Which doesn’t seem to have been retconned out of the comics, considering it literally appears as an actual physical object in “The Days Have Worn Away”

This picture shows him as an aging man alive at the same time that Zepheniah was old and dying and the Administrator has already been working for him for decades. On the most basic timeline level, him dying before the Administrator became the twins’ governess obviously doesn’t make any sense.

(Even if we were to assume the Silas in this picture is some ghostly apparition, he’s just too old to be a brother Zepheniah killed when they would have both being young-ish men and/or the Administrator’s father)

And much more importantly for a story whose big thematic point is “the lore was ultimately Meaningless, what matters is the characters”, the idea of Zepheniah hiding the fact that he has ‘bested�� his brother and instead pretending he’s an only child just feels flat-out Out of Character for me with the way “The Days Have Worn Away” characterizes Zepheniah.

Zepheniah sees the act of killing your own sibling for fun and profit as an inherently noble act and a prove of one’s worthiness and determination. He talks about his father and grandfather’s dead siblings, without technically legally admitting that they killed them, but heavily implying it and clearly admiring them for it.

And he very very heavily insinuated to his new governess that her goal is to raise his more ‘worthy’ son to engage in fratricide.

The whole point of him saying he’s an only child ‘sadly’ is because he thinks it’s unfortunate he never got to prove himself by killing a sibling.

So the idea that he would somehow draw a line at mentioning the brother he himself defeated, that he wouldn’t mention it as to not.... tarnish his good name (even though he is proud of his ancestors’ fratricide and brags about it) or to give himself farther legitimacy as the worthy Mann Heir (even though he views being ruthless enough to kill your own sibling as the ultimate proof of being a worthy Mann heir) or to just not discuss his crimes with a total stranger (even though his explanation of his father and grandfather’s deeds didn’t technically incriminate them of anything and he also pretty clearly admitted to her that he wants his kids to be raised to be brother-killers) is just… it just feels totally antithetical to how Zepheniah is written in this comic.

However, I actually don’t think this totally deconfirm the “Administrator is the daughter of Zepheniah’s brother out for revenge”.

After all, Zepheniah is not the only possible Unreliable Narrator of this flashback. The Administrator is the one telling the story.

And the Administrator totally forgot what Zepheniah did to make her hate him so much.

And while it’s implied that he might’ve been responsible for her parents’ death in some way, it’s also implied the specific details have become hazy and unclear through the years….

So, like, if the Administrator is the daughter of Zepheniah’s dead sibling (It being Silas still doesn’t really make any sense timeline-wise so let’s call this Hypothetical Mann ‘Barshnibnab Mann’, okay?)… Would she remember that? Would she remember any detail about Zepheniah having a sibling if her own familial connection to that sibling was wiped away by the waves of time?

Maybe Zepheniah did tell her “Ah yes, and I became an munitions magnate after I took over the company from my sibling Barshnibnab who died under very unfortunate and mysterious circumstances lol” but because she has forgotten everything about her parents and her original motivation she just flat-out forgot it and misremembered that Zepheniah was an only child?

I think that works a lot better with the themes and the characters’ personalities. Really emphasizes how the Administrator’s hatred has become such a singular and twisted thing, that it literally wiped away all memory of the people whose loss was the source of this hatred. Her quest of vengeance didn’t just drag down, like, the entire world for the last hundred years - it basically wiped out all possible memories of her parents. Really shows how it turned from revenge to just Fuck This Guy In Particular.

If Zepheniah killed a sibling, he would have wanted it memorialized as a proof of his own cutthroat ruthlessness - but the Administrator’s hatred is the one who wiped them from history as collateral in the way of her burning loathing.