#the most works i think i’ve run across in the wild is 500-something

[wander-wren]

i want to know who has the most fics and who has the most words published on ao3. i doubt they’re the same person and i want to know.

[valentina-writes]

Craving

A/N: Sorry, that I haven't posted in quite a while! I was lacking motivation a little bit and had a ton of other stuff to do. This one here was not requested, but the idea for it was stuck in my head for a couple days now and I couldn't concentrate on writing anything else. I will probably write some of the open requests soon.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: light smut (only a few paragraphs)

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„Come on, Y/N, we‘re waiting for you!”. Cassian’s voice is calling out to you from the dance floor. Behind him, you spot Mor, looking seriously offended you’re leaving her alone and instead sitting in a corner of Rita’s with a not even half-finished drink in your hand. Rhys and Feyre must be here somewhere too.

Even Azriel is on the dance floor, a rare sight. You can’t help but stare at him, the way his wings glow faintly in the glimmering lights of the club. His body that moves so flawlessly to the rhythm, so unlike the movements you are used to see him perform when training.

Fingers entangled in your hair, the hot feeling of his lips on yours. His voice in your ear, telling you he would take you slowly.

You shake your head as if to get rid of the memory, but still blush as Azriel’s gaze meets yours for a second.

“I’m sorry guys, but I don’t feel like dancing today”, you excuse yourself. That being said, you set down your glass and quickly escape out into the night.

Inhaling the cold air slowly, you try to calm down. It’s not his fault, you remind yourself, that you can’t seem to get over him. That you start thinking in an inappropriate way as soon as your eyes meet.

His lips met your neck, kissing and sucking on it. You couldn’t help but lean into his touch, your body begging for him to come closer. As his kisses travel downward you cannot help but moan out his name.

“Y/N is everything okay?”, Mor calls out to you. The fantasy in your head is gone, leaving you restless, yearning for him.

“Yes, I’m fine”, you say, not looking up.

“No, you’re not and you know that”. She’s close enough to see your face now. “What’s wrong?”, she asks. Her eyes soften as she hugs you. Mor must have seen your despair.

“I- it’s nothing, really”. At her strict look, you wince a little bit. You want to tell her. But it’s just so embarrassing.

“I had sex. With Azriel”, you start over, taking a deep breath. But before you can continue, she exclaims: “By the Mother, that’s awesome! When? Why didn’t you tell me?”.

A tear builds up in your eye and before you know it, you’re crying into her shoulder.

“It- it… it was a couple years ago”, you finally manage to say. By now all you can really feel is embarrassment. “And it’s not awesome. Well, it was. But-“. You start sobbing again.

“It was a one-night stand. He… acts as if nothing ever happened, but I can’t stop thinking about it and whenever he looks at me, I-“. You stop talking. It sounds absolutely idiotic, even to you.

But Mor doesn’t look bewildered. Instead, she hugs you even tighter, rubbing your back slightly.

“What happens then, sweetie?”, she asks.

Sighing, you gulp down your embarrassment: “I miss him. A lot. He’s still there, of course. But afterwards he stopped talking to me the way he did before. We’re not as close anymore. And above all I not only miss our friendship …”, your cheeks heat up again, “Since him I’ve never had sex THAT good again, so I stopped having any altogether. And now I’m not only missing him and kind of into him, I’m also sexually frustrated and lonely”.

You did have sex with other males in the succeeding weeks. But none of them had been able to give you the same feeling he did. That indescribable feeling of closure and … being loved. Even though he most likely didn’t love you, because it took him a month to even look at you again.

Mor’s face is a mix of amusement and empathy: “Like… no sex in years? For a guy who fucked you so good but then what? Ignored you? Even though there was this feeling that nobody else could give you?”. You nod, and she actually starts laughing. “Honey, if you weren’t that sad it would be hilarious, because it sure as hell sounds like he’s your mate”.

Your entire world shifts in that moment.

Your sweaty bodies are tangled in his sheets, gasping for air. Azriel’s shadows swirling around you, purring in your ears. With his final thrust, the world around you seems to fade away. There’s just him and you, for a second you don’t even know where his body ends and yours begins anymore.

Shocked, you look at her. “I… that kind of makes sense? But he would’ve talked to me then, wouldn’t he? I … I’m so confused right now”.

Your thoughts are running wild. Was this the reason he ignored you? Because he was overwhelmed? Was he waiting for you to make the first step? Or… Or was he not interested in the bond and wanted to reject it?

“Y/N? Mor? Is everything alright? Rhys told me to look after you, you’ve been gone for quite a while now”. You quickly wipe away your tears at Azriel’s voice. What should you tell him?

Mor winks at you, already making her way back towards the entrance: “Everything alright, shadowsinger. You might want to stay and talk to Y/N for a second though”.

And just like that, Mor vanishes, leaving me alone with Azriel. His wings are slightly shuffling behind his back and his gaze on me looks worried.

“So, uhm what did Mor mean?”. His shadows are coiling closely around his arms, showing how uncomfortable he is.

You inhale slowly, making sense of your thoughts. You find no good solution, so you just decide to start at the beginning.

“A couple of years ago we… after a celebration for you when you came home from a mission we had sex. Do you remember?”. It was almost painful to say this while watching him. Not only was the atmosphere incredibly tense, but also the possibility of him actually having forgotten about it made you sad.

He frowned a little, “I do remember, Y/N. Quite well, actually. But I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me”. For a second, you believe to see a certain hunger in his eyes. An expression you had only seen once on him before.

Nodding, you continue, “There was this… this feeling back then. Something I’ve never felt before. And nobody else has been able to make me feel the same way. I told Mor about it…”

You can’t finish your sentence, he cuts in sharply, “Why are you telling Mor this after years?”. And to himself, almost inaudible, he murmurs, “Don’t think about the other males”. The anger on his face is devastating.

You are absolutely terrified, but know you have to tell him. So, you muster up all of your courage and speek the words aloud that had been on your mind ever since, “Because I am in love with you. Because I don’t know what I should do about this, as you’re so distant all the time. And I cannot take this anymore, I miss you. I hate seeing you with other females. When I can’t fall asleep I think about this connection I felt that night”.

The pure shock on his face quickly gives way to a broad smile. “And what Mor meant is that… when I talked to her and described that feeling to her, she said we are most probably mates”. The last word is purely a whisper hanging in the air between you two. Mates.

And then, without hesitation, he begins to talk. “The first time I felt the bond was about two weeks before that night, when I said goodbye to you before that mission. It was so painful to leave you behind…”

“Hold up, you knew of the bond?”, you question him. Guilt creeps upon his face. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you ignore me for weeks after we had sex? Do you know what this did to me? All these years and you didn’t bother to just talk to me?”. Hot tears again spill over your cheeks.

He comes closer, as to wipe your tears away, but you back away.

“Y/N, I thought you didn’t want the bond. That you rejected it. Or worse, that it was only one-sided, because I couldn’t feel you across it. Rhys told me that the safest way to know was to just sleep with you, because then the bond normally clears up, but it didn’t work. At least I thought so”. The look on his face is pleading, but still, all you feel is anger and loneliness.

“So you only slept with me because Rhys told you so?”.

“No! I did it, because I love you and wanted you, truly. I still wished that the mating bond would reveal itself. And when I thought that it hadn’t worked, I couldn’t bear to be around you. I was so angry at the Cauldron, because I felt unworthy. Again. Imagine being in my situation. Having a mate, but the bond not working completely, the other person unaware of what’s going on! I did what I had to do to protect myself”.

The vulnerability in his statement catches you absolutely off guard. A small smile formed on your face, as you walk a few steps towards him.

“Maybe we weren’t ready back then. Maybe it kept us waiting, because it knew we would need the time to work things out”, you suggest, closing the distance between you and him.

His eyes twinkle in the starlight, as he lowers his head, “Well, there’s only one way of finding out”, he says as he cradles your head in his hands. Slowly, he comes closer and closer, until you can’t endure the tension anymore and slam your lips on his.

His lips are velvet on yours, only intensifying the kiss after a few seconds. He holds himself back, almost painfully so. But you are yearning for him, for his touch. And as you licked his lower lip and he grants you access to his mouth, you felt it again. The euphoria racing through your veins. And as you kept kissing, it was as if a fog lifts itself and all of a sudden you can feel him, not only against your body, but also against your soul, interlocking with it.

He must have felt the same thing, as we both gasp for air almost at the same time. Azriel’s mouth twists into a smile as he kisses me again. His wings are now wrapped around you, obscuring you from any passers-by.

“I’ve waited 500 years to find you, my mate”, he says. The word echoing through me. Mate. Mate. Mate. You still can’t believe this is actually happening, as you send a wave of love across the bond. “But I would have waited 500 more for you. For this moment alone”.

At this, you kiss him again, unable to express your emotions any other way. “Let’s end this journey how we began it, shall we? With me in your bed”.

[writing-in-april]

Unsolved

Raymond Wadsworth (MGG in Suburban Gothic) x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: Raymond runs into the buzzfeed unsolved duo again while investigating the same place he is, plus their cute camera operator.

A/N: Day 3 of 7 for my 500 follower celebration! This ended up in a wildly different direction then I was planning on going but I still really like this one a lot- plus it’s my first time posting for Raymond! Thank you to @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff who planted the idea into my mind 🥰 Go check out their stuff it’s amazing (Especially Between Bars it’s my favorite) ~this is also unbeta’d so sorry if there are grammar mistakes~

Warnings: A few swear words, Sexual Innuendos- Plus the lightbulb breaking over Raymond story (this is way more tame then the movie however)

Masterlist Word count: 1.0k

Working as a camera operator for Buzzfeed Unsolved was a dream come true for a young adult not that long out of college like myself. Now, I personally didn’t believe in ghosts like Ryan did, but the appeal of the show for me was being able to be surrounded by great moments in history. I got to visit some of the most famous historical landmarks, ranging from the supposedly haunted ghost town of Tombstone, Arizona to the subterranean terrors of the London Tombs. Sure- it was all under the guise of ghost hunting but even that still had its charms even if I did believe every ‘encounter’ was bullshit.

My most wild encounter at a site we were investigating didn’t come from a ghost at all, rather it came from a man named Raymond when we had been at Waverly Hills Hospital. Raymond was a paranormal investigator who was far more invested compared to our group- even more so than Ryan.

It was funny to hear Raymond’s ‘experiences’ with ghosts. Compared to what I had seen with Ryan and Shane the ‘ghosts’ that had haunted him in the past seemed rather amusing to me. However- I still did not buy his story. I was more inclined to believe that any encounters with ghosts were a figment of everyone’s imagination or a story made up for profit.

When it comes to Raymond normally I’d assume that his whole story was just to get a quick buck, I mean he did have a business based around the supernatural. But, the difference between everyone else’s stories Raymond’s seemed wildly outlandish to the point that I slightly questioned his sanity. (However, that didn’t affect how attractive I found him)

Who would make up stories like his? If they were fake it was a bold move to make his whole business based off of ghost stories that even the biggest ghost enthusiast would have a hard time believing. Even Ryan raised his eyebrows every time Raymond told another one of his tales. Either that or his story of a jizz filled light that broke above his head was really true and everything I’ve ever known or believed in was bullshit. He was a puzzle for me to solve and it was one that I wanted to solve desperately.

“So you’re telling me a light bulb exploded above you and jizzed all over you?” Shane was in disbelief at this new story that Raymond was telling us. We had run into him again when we started to investigate the Sorrel-Weed house just as we were about to enter.

“I believe you think you saw that.” I piped up to say right after Shane, it was fun to get Raymond riled up. He always tended to look down at the ground with a frustrated glare whenever we tried to disprove his theories everytime we saw him. However, even though I definitely did not believe his stories, there was still something incredibly endearing about him. The way he talked animatedly and with passion every time we had a rousing debate about the existence of the paranormal or maybe it was the fluffy curly hair that looked like a bird’s nest. Whatever it was didn’t matter- just the fact that every time I was in his presence my eyes were glued to him, hanging on to every word no matter how unbelievable they were. I couldn’t help shamelessly flirting with him this time around as well the little blush he had on his cheeks everytime that I dropped a sexual innuendo during our debate only egged me on further. When Raymond left so we could film our episode I found myself getting sad, I wanted him to stay and investigate with us.

—-

After we had investigated the place we were standing by our cars listening to Ryan talk excitedly about how he saw a ‘ghost’ in the house. My bet was that it had actually been the caretaker though there was no chance in convincing Ryan of that, though I would've given anything to see Raymond’s reaction to the ‘ghost’. I was more focused on what Shane was doing at the moment, he was leaning back giving me a funny look- one that he had been giving me the whole night for some reason.

“You like him don’t you?” He suddenly remarked to me after a brief pause in Ryan’s spiel, which also gained Ryan’s attention.

“What? Who?”A blush fell across my cheeks and the rock that I had absentmindedly been kicking was now the most interesting thing in the world. I pretended to play coy, I knew who he was referring to- I had not been exactly subtle in my flirting with Raymond today.

“Raymond- You were looking at him in like- awe the whole time he was here.” He kept pushing and Ryan concurred with his thoughts. I might as well come out and admit the fact that I liked the lanky spaz. I nodded my head in confirmation to the two of them, my blush deepening even further.

“Well- just promise that you stay a Shaniac if you ever act on your feelings, I don’t want to be outnumbered.” I snorted a little at his comment and Ryan let out a little wheeze. Maybe this would be the push I needed to act on my feelings- I was pretty sure he liked me as well as his eyes tended to light up everytime I walked into a room or I started talking with him. So why not? I already happened to have his phone number in my phone so I took a leap of faith, texting him and asking him out on a date. Maybe we could go ghost hunting.

Whether or not the Sorrel-Weed house was haunted will remain-

Unsolved. (Though Ryan would debate that)

But- Whether or not I feelings for Raymond was-

Solved.

[howdywrites]

Chapter Zero

→ an In The Woods Somewhere excerpt

This is from my zero draft of ITWS that won't be in the new draft I'm starting for Camp NaNo. I still thought it would be fun to share since it gives a little insight into Jackie (park ranger main) and a side character named Benny who works under her. NOTE: there is a lot of info in this that's changed as I've outlined so some of the locations will be inaccurate.

Warnings: brief mention of recreational drug use (mushrooms)

Length: 2.3k words

[ WIP Intro ]

Breath burned aching lungs. Boots stomped in slick, dark mud. The icy mist clung to every hair on bare skin and the drumming of heartbeat became the rhythm in which Jackie fell in time with. She jerked, ducking beneath a low hanging branch. Her hair whipped as she cast a worried glance over her shoulder. It wasn’t following her anymore.

A disgruntled skunk and her litter of kits watched her sprint from the home they made in a thicket of bushes. If she had stuck around for just a second longer, Jackie would have paid dearly for her grave mistake. Up on [the mountain], there wasn’t a proper shower to be had at the lookout. In fact, there was almost no running water to be had at all. That’s exactly how she preferred it - being one with nature in every sense of the word.

“Fuck-” A patch of thick mud sent her sliding into the wooden Trail 46 sign that pointed southeast. Jackie held on to it, leaning over with her chest heaving while she caught her breath. A spring of curled hair fell over her forehead from under the brim of her uniform hat. Taking one last deep breath, she swept it back under and ran her hands along her two thick braids to make sure her rubber bands were still attached to the ends.

Static crackled from the radio on her hip. A voice snickered at her from the other end.

“I didn’t know you could run that fast,” the voice teased her, his laughter turning into crackles. Jackie lifted her head and dragged her eyes along the ridge behind her. Ancient trees and wild brush lined the rocky ledge. She squinted, trying to make sense of the map of greens and browns. Despite her year of working in Wyoming, she struggled making out shapes in the woods that weren’t blocky signs. “Surprised you didn’t lose your hat.”

Jackie unhooked her radio and held it up to her mouth. It trilled and went quiet. “Where are you? I swear to god, Benny, if you scare me again you owe me a cone at Marie Bettie’s on Monday.”

She stood there, a hand on her hip and her radio up by her ear. A crease formed between her brows. Birds flit from tree to tree down Trail 42, drawing her eye. Frowning, she didn’t see Benny there. Nor did he respond on the radio. She hesitantly clicked it again. “Benny I’m not playing. Where the hell are you?” She couldn’t hear herself on the other end. Wherever he was hiding, he had turned off his radio so she couldn’t gauge where he was.

Stepping out into the middle of the trail, Jackie circled around like an uneasy horse, feet pressed firmly into the packed dirt. A small creature of amber red and white darted out from a nearby thicket of prickly bushes and skittered across the trail. She gasped, nearly jumping out of her skin. While distracted, a pair of hands touched down on her shoulders, fingers curling over her uniform.

Jackie screeched, launching herself forwards out of the grip of the intruder. The ranger hat on her head tipped off, rolling and bouncing off the gravel. Her arms barely caught her in time to save her face from getting superficial scratches. Squirming, she rolled onto her back and scrambled into a squat. Benny stood there, cackling loud enough to send a few birds flying from their nests in the trees. His smile took up most of his face. Smile lines deepend and the prominent gap between his teeth was on full display.

“I got you good, didn’t I?” He leaned in, holding a hand out for her. Despite the adrenaline soaring through her veins and the annoyance that tumbled within her, Jackie sighed and grasped at it for help off the ground. Freckles splattered his sun-kissed skin, his cheekbones turning to apples with his grin.

“Yeah, yeah. You owe me two cones, now, Wonderbird. Double scoops.”

“Hey, that’s not fair! You know volunteers don’t make squat here-” Benny stooped down to pick up her hat, dusting it off for her. It was true. When he first joined the park just six months ago, Jackie had been assigned as his mentor. The junior program was offered to any college students pursuing their line of work. To get a taste of life as a ranger. They didn’t make a salary, but their summers spent in action were funded by park leadership in the form of bunks and food. A far better deal than what was offered to her in Tennessee. She took up her hat and repositioned it proudly on top of her head. “But I guess it’s the least I could do for doing that.” He pointed down at her green trousers.

A small tear cut across her knee, thankfully protecting her skin from being lacerated by her fall. Sighing, Jackie lifted her leg and inspected the hole. “Luckily I brought my sewing kit with me to the tower. C’mon, let’s finish our rounds. Think the captain has extra radios for tonight? Last thing I want is to not be able to contact anyone - especially this weekend.”

The end of summer break brought in the most guests outside of the spring season. Mostly college students looking to get out of town, but not willing to commit to the cost of going to the Bahamas or Miami all the way down south. Jackie couldn’t remember most of the breaks from her college days. She crunched to get through with her degree as fast as possible. Any break she got was filled with studying or working wherever she could. She would have liked to go somewhere tropical and warm for her breaks, but she preferred the serenity that usually came with visiting state parks instead.

“How many people usually camp here during breaks?” Benny kicked a pale gray pebble into the grass alongside the pack dirt walking trail.

“Could be hundreds. Maybe even close to a thousand or more. Really depends.” Earlier that day, they had already received an influx of campers eager to stake their claim on the best spots in the park before the hoards arrived. Easily several dozen of them, all scattered between RV hookups, the rentable cabins and clearings for tents. “Just be glad you’re not working at any of the offices this weekend. I’d take firewatch over disgruntled campers any day.”

“I can’t thank you enough, you know.” An elbow bumped Jackie’s arm and she glanced at the grinning young man. “If it weren’t for you, Richards probably would’ve never let me take over tower 24. He told me you put in a good word for me.”

Smiling down at the ground, Jackie shrugged and reached out to give him a gentle pat on the shoulder. “It wasn’t all me. You’ve got the passion for this. The drive. Can’t say the same for some of the other volunteers-”

A trill of squealing laughter caught her attention. The two of them paused right at the fork. One path remained wide open with wooden signs encouraging guests to stay on the correct path. The other had overgrowth and a dirt path so narrow, one could hardly call it a trail at all. The usual rope gate meant to block it off had been cut. Both ends laid useless on the ground with frayed edges. Another bark of laughter came from the end it shouldn’t have.

“Damn…” Jackie muttered bitterly under her breath. Just when she thought they could wrap up for the afternoon. Benny puffed out his chest and stood up taller.

“C’mon, ranger,” he chirped, marching towards the rocky side path. “No dilly dallying!”

“You just want to write up a citation.” She snorted and followed alongside him. “You’re starting to sound like the captain.”

Snaking down the path, the trees overhead grew thicker and wider. Branches from lowly pines scraped against their arms. Creatures that remained unseen skittered into their hiding places. The closer they got to the three or four voices chattering away up ahead, the more signs they saw. Brand new, the signs were nailed into the untouched bark of the trees along the path or plastered on wooden signs hammered into the thick dirt.

WARNING: do not proceed! This area has been sanctioned for investigation by the State of Wyoming and local police. Any violations will result in a $500 fine.

“Have these signs always been here?” Benny’s voice lowered to a faint whisper. Jackie stepped carefully around a pile of stones gathered around the base of a thick oak. Her boots slid against their jagged surfaces. “I don’t remember them putting these up.

“I don’t either. I remember some feds were here on Wednesday, but they weren’t up for much small talk.” They stood proudly in their dark suits and shade, holding boxes of flyers and paperwork and speaking in hushed tones to her higher ups. The single chance she had to greet one of them was met with silence. Very rude. “I don’t think this was a missing person’s case, otherwise we would have been informed about it.”

Like something out of a sci-fi movie, bright yellow caution signs littered a shady grove at the end of the short path. The sound of water trickling from a nearby stream joined the quiet voices. The blocky lettering on the big yellow signs yelled at them.

DO NOT DRINK THE WATER! Do not disturb local flora as issued by the governor of Wyoming.

“Dude! You’re going to get us in trouble!” A nervous voice murmured beyond the trees. There, by the creek, four college aged kids stood around a mossy puddle. Two girls and two boys, all wearing their UW school colors. Most likely freshmen given their wide eyes and round faces. One of them stood with his jeans rolled up to his knees in the shallow water, a fist full of curling brown mushrooms that looked like kelp. They went silent at the sight of the two rangers.

“This path is restricted.” Benny took the initiative, his voice wavering just a bit at the end of his statement. Jackie let him take the reins. If he really wanted to do this for a living, he would have to get used to this. As he went over what rules they broke being there, she made her way over to a damp patch of tall grass between two moss covered trees.

Squatting, she spied even more kelp-like mushrooms. They stuck out of the grass like limp, decaying fingers out of a grave. Jackie narrowed her eyes and used a pen from her breast pocket to jab at it with as gentle of a touch as she could manage. It released a pussy substance and a musky scent that reminded her of the single frat party she attended her last year in school. Similar to weed, but different. From looks alone, she couldn’t nail down from which family this fungus derived from. In fact, she couldn’t recall anything remotely similar in all her years of study.

“You can’t do that.” The kid in the water whined, trudging out of the water. He tossed the picked mushrooms. “C’mon, man, we’re just trying to have a little fun! I gotta pay for books next week!”

Jackie looked over her shoulder in time to see Benny’s head fall like a disappointed teacher’s. He sighed and shifted his weight from foot to foot, unable to reply. Tucking her pen back into its spot, she dusted her hands off and stood.

“Here’s what we’re going to do-” She put her hands on her hips and took over for him. She spoke with authority and a rigid stance. “I’ll let you off with a warning, as long as you four keep to the official trails and stay out of trouble. If me or any of my associates catch you out of bounds again, it’ll be a $700 ticket. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am.” The kid slipped his wet feet into his Nike sandals and hung his head. Blonde hair stuck to his pink face and despite his towering height over her, he still looked like a boy. It only made her feel older than she was. The other three murmured in agreement, following behind him. She watched them shuffle up the path until they disappeared behind a thicket of pines.

“I thought I could do it,” Benny sighed, his head swiveling side to side, checking for litter or anything else the rowdy guests may have left behind. Jackie moved to stand beside him and ruffled his mess of red hair. The way his nose scrunched and his shoulders relaxed from the playful exchange reminded her so much of Andre back at home.

“You did better than I did the first time I tried writing a citation - I cried.” Her sidekick blinked, surprised, and chuckled.

“But you’re so good at it. You’ve got a mom voice - in a good way, I mean.”

“Geez, I’m not that old, Wonderbird. First them, and now you? I’m aging by the second. You’ll have to explain to Richards why my knees are bad and my hair is graying when summer’s over, you dingus.”

Benny all but collapsed forward with laughter, holding his stomach and slapping his knee like a cheery grandfather. Jackie smiled so wide her cheeks ached. She had to avert her gaze to not let the homesickness creep in. She would miss him when he had to go back to school. Just like she missed Andre.

The mushrooms among the grass piqued her curiosity again. She stooped down beside them and inspected them without touching. Who knew what they did and who knew why the government and college kids were so interested in them.

“What are they? They were grabbing a lot of them.” Benny squatted next to her, reaching out to touch one. Jackie gently smacked the back of his hand and shook her head.

“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t touch them. Let’s get to the office, the captain’s waiting for us by now.”

-

ITWS Taglist (let me know if you'd like to be added!): @lordkingsmith @celestialbunnistories @aeslin-writes @writinginslowmotion @chayscribbles @theramwrites @tiredlittleoldme @sapphcon-ic @hazard-writes @lookingmuchimproved @themidnxghtwriter @draculinawrites @aetherwrites @svpphicwrites @maxgraybooks @writeherewaiting @sjjsalamanders @thelittlestspider @ashen-crest @writtendevastation @ravesthewriter @adie-dee @christine-thinks @cream-and-tea @reeseweston

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Running

A/N: Here is my entry for @obsessedwithrandomthings​ 500 followers celebrations! Congratulations Dee! You more than deserve this! The prompt I used is in the summary, but I have also bolded it in the text. Thank you so much for letting me take part! The gif doesn't really match the theme of the fic but I searched ‘running’ and it was the best of them lol. I’m also less than 10 followers away from 800 so this is exciting!! As always, I hope you all enjoy!!

Summary: “Run away with me,” You plead, hands framing his face, “It’ll be worth it.”

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: descriptions of injuries, mentions of death and anxiety, vomit - there is a lot of worry and anxiety in this, so please don't read if you don’t like, but I have tried to wrap it up in a fluffy fashion!!

Word count: 1.5k

Your stomach had been a ball of anxiety all night. Nothing anyone said could dampen the fear that was crawling its way up your throat. Something was going to happen tonight, and it wasn’t going to be good.

Your fears are proven correct when Sirius lands in the hallway, holding up a drastically bleeding Remus. His blood stains his white button-up shirt and drips steadily onto the floor.

The scream is caught in your throat. You look wildly at Sirius, demanding an explanation. Sirius explains quickly; they had been tailed as they were following their own targets. Remus threw himself in front of Sirius to protect him from the Sectumsempra curse.

“I couldn’t take him to St. Mungo’s. I don’t know who works there, but I’ve already called for a Healer I can trust,” Sirius shudders, murmuring the levitation charm straight after, following Remus up the stairs in a hurry.

His blood stains the carpet in the hall and would stain the stairs too, but it was the last thing on your mind as you hurry behind Sirius. Remus is laid on the bed; his face contorted in pain, barely conscious but still aware of the pain lancing through his body.

Wordlessly, you conjure clean towels from the airing cupboard, holding them to the cuts across Remus’ chest and arms. Sirius takes a towel from you, holding it to the wound across his stomach.

The Healer arrives in what seems like hours, but it could have been minutes. Your eyes do not leave Remus as you press towel after towel to his cuts, trying to stem the bleeding despite knowing that nothing but magic would help.

Sirius’ hand on your shoulder has you stepping away from the love of your life, letting the Healer complete his work. Your hands are covered in Remus’ blood; your clothes too, are ruined. You barely make it to the toilet to empty your stomach. Sirius is there, holding your hair back, muttering comforting words to you. You press your forehead to the cold porcelain, trying to take everything in now that the adrenaline was leaving your body, but your brain couldn’t comprehend what you had just been witness to.

You force yourself to stand; pushing down the fresh wave of nausea as you make your way back into the bedroom, to Remus. He lies on the bed; his body entirely healed, but deeply asleep.

“I’ve had to give him a strong sleeping draught. He lost a lot of blood and whilst I was able to heal the injuries, there’s going to be some damage internally. He needs to be asleep for it to heal which, with his lycanthropy, will heal in a few days.”

“How long will he be asleep then?” Sirius asks, learning the information to relay to you later. He knows that at the moment, you would not be listening to word being said. That all of your attention would be focused on the man on your bed, asleep and no longer in any pain.

You refuse to leave his side. They all try to coax you from your room. Sirius promises he’ll stay with him so you can shower, but you refuse. Harry tries his hardest to get you to come downstairs to eat, but it doesn’t work. Instead, he leaves for a moment before coming back with a plate of food. You nibble at it, but the nausea soon returns.

The first day blends seamlessly into the second and there’s no change in Remus. He lies on his side of the bed in clean clothes and clean sheets, sleeping peacefully. You admire him from your spot in the armchair across the room; this would the first time in a long time that Remus had managed to get a solid block of sleep without being interrupted by the order or the lunar cycle. You think it every time but in sleep, you see the Marauder in him. You see the teenager you had fallen in love with one afternoon by the Black Lake. The teenager who had stuttered through asking you out but soon found his confidence once you had accepted.

For years it had been you and Remus. The only survivors of the first wizarding war, Remus claimed though it pained him to say it.

On the third day of your vigil beside the bed, Remus groans before blinking against the bright light of the morning. You’re out of your seat in an instant, lurching to the end of the bed with tears in your eyes. “Remus, you’re awake! How do you feel? Do you need anything?”

“I’m sore, but I’m okay. I don’t need anything right now.”

You sag in relief, “I am so happy you’re awake, dear. That was the most terrifying time of my life.”

“Even more than the time you saw me as a wolf?” Remus tries to joke, but he winces instead.

“This isn’t a joking situation, Remus!” You cry, “Do you remember what happened?”

“I remember being followed and then jumping in front of Sirius and then blinding pain. I passed out then, I think.”

Your hands grip the bedpost at the end of the bed, “Sirius brought you back here and we called in a Healer. You were hit with the Sectumsempra curse and your blood was everywhere, and I couldn’t stop it-” You break off suddenly; your words getting caught in your throat.

The sudden urge to run overwhelms you. Your eyes dart around the room – to the suitcases, to the wardrobes. A plan begins to form in your head; a few more days healing was all that Remus would require before he’s stable enough to apparate. You know of a place where you couldn’t be traced where he could spend a few weeks or so recuperating before you run for real.

The desire to leave it all behind takes over. In that moment, the only thing you could ever want is a longer life with the man lying on the bed in front of you. If this war continued, how long would you have? Optimism in this situation is vitally important but as your eyes return to Remus, running over the war-weary, pale face of the love of your life, all you want is to go.

To go and never look back.

“Run away with me,” You start, rushing to his side, hands framing his face, “It’ll be worth it.”

“Where would we go?” He asks, his eyes bright with possibilities.

“Anywhere – the country, the coast, abroad. Run away with me Remus, before the war swallows us whole.”

“What about the Order? Darling, we can’t leave them.”

“Fuck that, Remus. Look at yourself! You can barely move.” You stand, gesturing to the four walls in which you stand, “These last few days have been my own personal hell; I didn’t know if you were going to wake up. For the first time in my life, I have had to face a possibility of a life without you and I won’t do it. Not again. Run away with me, Remus.” Your eyes are wild as you plead to him, beg to him to consider doing this.

Remus’ eyes search yours, looking for what, you don’t know. You know the minute you’ve lost the battle, and you would be remaining where you are. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” You ask brokenly.

“You won’t leave Harry, love. You’re his godmother – you won’t let him face this war without you, you simply won’t.”

The tears that were previously lining your eyes now overflow onto your cheeks. You look at Remus through watery eyes, not bothering to stem the flow. “You can’t do this to me again, Remus. I will not live in a world that does not have you in it, do you understand?”

“I understand, darling.” Remus holds his hand out for you. You stumble over to him, desperate to touch some part of him. With a light tug, he has you sat next to him on the bed you share. “I’m here now,” he whispers, “I don’t plan on leaving for a long, long time.”

You sniffle, “Good. I didn’t like the look of my life without you.”

“What have I missed then; in the three days I’ve been asleep?”

You look at him, somewhat sheepishly, “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t left this room.”

Remus frowns at you. “Darling, please tell me you’ve eaten and taken care of yourself.”

“I’ve eaten a little, but I didn’t want to leave you and I didn’t want to let anyone look after you.”

“I really did scare you, didn’t I?”

You nod, “Beyond scare, Remus. I couldn’t think straight, I don’t think I’ve thought a coherent thought since Sirius appeared with you in the hall.”

He brings your entwined hands to his lips, pressing kiss after kiss to the back of your hand. “I am so sorry, my love.”

“You don’t need to apologise, Remus. You did nothing wrong.”

“Nevertheless. I am sorry, I didn’t think before throwing myself in front of Sirius, and I should have.”

“You were protecting your best friend.”

Remus shrugs, but winces at the stiffness in his joints, “I will not leave you like that again. The minute I’m out of this bed I’m speaking to Dumbledore, demanding lighter missions. I’m too fond of this life to leave it prematurely.”

Tears start anew as you lie next to the man you so dearly love. Gripping his hand in both of yours, you press it your chest, “I’m too fond of you to let you leave it prematurely.”

**************

General (HP) taglist: @the-hufflefluffwriter​ @obsessedwithrandomthings​ @kalimagik​ @summer-writes​ @lupins-sweater​ @slytherinprincess03​ @mischiefsemimanaged​ @soleil-amaryllis​ @bforbroadway​ @masterofthedarkness​ @chaotic-fae-queen​ @peachesandpinks​ @nebulablakemurphy​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @siriusly-addicted-to-writing​ @firewhisky-kisses​ @deafgirltingz​ @kylosleftbuttcheek​ @heloisedaphnebrightmore​ @harrypotter289​ @sprvpti​ @accio-rogers​ @potterverseimagine​ @figlia--della--luna​ @angelinathebook​ @dreamer821​

[altumvidetur]

Good Omens: Crowley/Aziraphale Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Let’s go for the Ineffable Husbands fanfics!

In Nomine, by tinsnip

The first time he’d given in to the impulse to just make up a name, he’d felt a bit odd about it. But everything had gone so smoothly. He’d been able to just go in and eat and then leave and it hadn’t mattered at all, the human hadn’t really wanted to know his name, they’d just wanted something to peg him by while he was there.

And so: Fell. Ezra Fell. Ms Azee Phale. Mme A Zinnia File. A Z Fell, bookseller.

That last one has stuck around the longest, now. He’s grown rather attached to it.

A... A... what begins with A?

Aziraphale makes dinner reservations for himself and Crowley, and is a bit thoughtless. Silly business.

swimming in your ocean (i can get pretty sidetracked), by tinsnip

Under him, Aziraphale makes a soft, deep sound.

He lets go, leaves his lips just where they are. “You’re sweet. You taste sweet.”

Apparently Aziraphale isn’t up to making words right now.

***

Three little chapters of happy smut. Immortal genderless beings assuming mostly-human forms would, I figure, have a bit of a different approach to sex. They've got no particular drive, and all the time in the world. Getting sidetracked is part of the fun.

Eyes Closed, by tinsnip

Aziraphale makes love with his eyes closed.

Crowley doesn’t.

Bad Habits, by tinsnip

Clearly, both Crowley and Aziraphale used to smoke. We know this. We’ve been told this by Mr. Gaiman.

I’d be very surprised if either of them still does. But the reasons for this, and the methods by which their statuses changed, are different.

Notably: Crowley cheats. Aziraphale doesn't.

Like light, refracted, by tinsnip

Full steam ahead, decided Crowley: “I think we should get naked.”

Ethereal/occult lovemaking of the rather fluffy variety.

tell me all the ways, by tinsnip

Crowley was out in the garden.

Aziraphale was in his study, most definitely not looking out the window.

Really. Really. One little speck of sentiment: was it so much to ask?

what a way to make a living, by attheborder

Without any more assignments coming from Downstairs, Crowley is struck with a bad case of the doldrums.

It takes a bit of trial and error, but eventually a solution is found.

(Or: the one where Crowley becomes an Uber driver.)

summer and his pleasures, by witching

for summer and his pleasures wait on thee, and thou away, the very birds are mute; or if they sing, ‘tis with so dull a cheer, that leaves look pale, dreading the winter��s near. // william shakespeare, sonnet 97

absence makes the heart grow fonder, and crowley and aziraphale’s hearts were plenty fond to begin with. a story told through phone calls while they are separated for work-related reasons.

nothing but the wild rain, by Raven

"The internet, Aziraphale!" Crowley says. "This is what the internet is for. This is, quite literally, what the internet is for."

"Oh," Aziraphale says, and Crowley knows, he just knows, that Aziraphale is going to say something about how it's jolly useful for hard-to-find first editions and tickets for the Last Night of the Proms.

or, Aziraphale and Crowley find sex confusing.

Forever, by goodomensblog

Heaven’s execution chamber was elegant, magnificent - and bare. Polished floors gleamed, immaculate; their cleanliness made it impossible to guess at the atrocities committed upon them. Clean, white walls glared, and a window as large as the room was tall, teased of freedom just out of reach.

At the center of it all, was a chair.

And upon that chair, an angel sat.

Across the cold, stark room - too far from the angel - a demon knelt, bound.

The ropes burned, and Crowley hissed, hunching his shoulders as he turned his head up. The angel, his wrists tied to the chair, met and held his stare.

No, it couldn’t - it wasn’t - this wasn’t right.

Confused and in pain, Crowley called, “Angel, you alright?”

Aziraphale’s light hair appeared white in the harshly lit room, and his face had gone pale; but at Crowley’s call he sat up in the chair, bound hands giving a feeble wave.

London. 1944., by AliceinSpace

The air ripples and stars blink in and out of existence as the fabric of the universe creates a loophole in the middle of the street. A figure drops unceremoniously from that loophole and hits the pavement in a tangle of limbs.

"-is that a gunshot wound?”

Or the one in which a fatally injured Crowley runs to the only place that makes sense: a bookshop in Soho.

Of Eclairs, Feathers and Complex Reactions to Trauma, by oneatatime

“Do you know,” Aziraphale said, his voice muffled in the shoulder of Crowley’s jacket, “that when humans go through trauma, they can be quite calm and competent throughout, but then the terror comes out later, as it must?

Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too, by Demorra

He didn’t want to think about the bookshop. It hurt in a way that was entirely too visceral to be angelic, and entirely too earth shattering to be human. It was the love of several hundred years, burned up in an instant. It shouldn’t have mattered, not if he were truly angelic. But he shed a few silent tears anyway and felt somewhat better for it. All things considered, it wasn’t the end of the world.

No, that had been much more complicated.

And yet, somehow so very mundanely human. No great battle, no heavenly sounding of horns or hordes of demons. Just a choice, a choice not between Good and Evil, but between darkness and light, hope and despair, fear and… and love…

the mortifying ordeal of being known (biblically), by FlipSpring

"Relax, angel, it's not much worse. It's just our bodies. It's not like we enfolded or anything." ~ Crowley, in 500 AD, after having physical sex with Aziraphale for the first time, blissfully unaware that he has just foreshadowed himself into a corner

*

Crowley procrastinates on his feelings by taking a 5-year nightmare nap after the End Of The World. Aziraphale comes in like, "dude wake the fuck up, also, do you wanna metaphysically bang maybe? no pressure." and then Crowley loses his goddamn mind, because he is a delicately-stacked bundle of neuroses in black skinny jeans.

Also they have breakfast and check in on Tadfield.

Re-Recalled, by Jennistar

Halfway through an argument, Aziraphale gets accidentally discorporated and doesn't come back. Crowley does the sensible thing and panics.

Luminosity, by bethagain

A quick trip to bless someone with a miracle takes a wrong turn, and Aziraphale and Crowley are stuck overnight in rural Iceland. The northern lights are beautiful, but it turns out demons, cold-blooded, tend to seize up when it's freezing out. Aziraphale finds a way to get him warm again.

i don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth, by Princex_N

(Summary by me: the one in which Crowley has been living with chronic pain for thousands of  years.)

Queen’s Greatest Hits, by BuzzCat

Good Omens fanfic with no coherent through-line between fics aside from each one is inspired in one way or another by a Queen song, listed in the notes for each fic.

i know i’ve kissed you before (but i didn’t do it right), by gallantrejoinder

They'd given it a go once. Ages ago. And they'd both agreed it wasn't for them.

the whole damned world seemed upside down, by citadelofswords

(Summary by me: facing the odds and moving on with the world.)

Leaves of Grass, by Laura Shapiro

(Summary by me: the world is saved, and now they’re left to explore each other.)

The Sacred and the Profane, by afrai

(POPULLI.NET link) Somewhere else, the happy ending was different. AU.

Be Ye Therefore Merciful, by AmberDiceless

Crowley does something utterly unexpected, and Aziraphale must face an opponent who cannot be thwarted. Hints of pre-A/C.

Full Circle, by Hekateras

Nothing lasts forever and the final Apocalypse can only be delayed for so long.

There is a school of thought that says you cannot fight fate.

And another that claims there's no such thing as predestination, only those powerful enough to make your choices for you - if you let them.

Aziraphale puts both to the test.

Living Arrangements, by afrai

(POPULLI.NET link) Everyone is more or less human, even when they aren't.

Nanny Knows Best, by DictionaryWrites

Summary by me: an exploration of Crowley’s experience as Warlock’s nanny. 

From the Top (Say Your Lines Once More), by CoffeeStars

Crowley lives and dies and wakes up to repeat the cycle. And every single time Aziraphale is there, a different face and new memories.

Manchester Lost, by Moczo

(FF.Net Link)  -an ensemble sequel to the novel- Our heroes have managed to make things worse, as the Apocalypse is starting up... again. Drama! Action! Humor! Adventure! Tea! Suspense! Snark! Romance!

[makeste]

Sorry for the interruption,but considering you're up to the most recent chapter in the current arc, I'm wondering (hopefully if it isn't too early to ask), what are some arcs/events you think could happen in the future of MHA? I'm still thinking we'll get a prison break arc but I feel it will happen in the second year of UA.

all right, so here are my guesses for how things will play out for the rest of the series. I’m fairly certain about the next several arcs, but after that it gets a lot more uncertain. I think by this point we’re far enough along in the series to take a decent stab at predicting the major events though.

so first we have our Villain War Arc with Tomura duking it out against Re-Destro and his gang. and presumably Tomura is going to make it out of this alive, if not win outright, and he’ll receive the loyal services of Gigantomachia along with 11 brand new High End Noumus for his trouble. just in time for Christmas! as for whether Re-Destro and the Quirk Liberation Army will make it out if this intact, that remains to be seen. they seem like a pretty huge threat, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they stick around in some fashion for a little while after the arc ends.

anyways, however that ends up turning out, my prediction is that the arc after that will be a New Years Arc. the timing is just about right with the storyline currently being in mid-December, and the holiday break would provide a great excuse for getting the kids out of school for a little bit, which is important for two reasons. one, it’s been a while since we’ve seen characters like Inko and the Bakugous (and there are still a lot of families we’ve never seen at all and it would be fun to meet a few of them), and it would be a chance to catch up with them for both character development purposes and, in some cases, physical development (since Endeavor still wants to teach Shouto that new move). and two, it’s been forever since the kids dealt with an actual villain attack, and for plot reasons we currently can’t really do that at U.A. since any more attacks there would have serious consequences for the future of the school. so that means we have to get the kids out of the dorms and off U.A. property in order to have a proper battle, and New Years vacation provides that opportunity. I’m envisioning a Noumu attack on a crowded shrine or something along those lines. maybe a bunch of the kids plan to meet up for a hatsumoude outing, and this way Horikoshi can include whichever combination of kids (and teachers too probably) he feels like. and this way they’re introduced to the new Noumu threat, and Deku can maybe unlock another one of his new quirks, and we can see some other new moves as well.

after this I’m anticipating that we’ll finally be ready to start my long-awaited Noumu Arc, wherein we finally learn more about these fuckers, as the police and pro heroes finally start to realize the severity of the threat, and make it their number one priority to track them down and eliminate them. during this arc we may finally start internships again, particularly if the kids have proven themselves and managed to take out a Noumu or two on their own in the previous arc. alternately, realizing the danger and the connection to All for One, Izuku and Katsuki (and possibly some trusted friends) may start their own mini investigation, being the industrious and resourceful kids they are. maybe they figure they’ll just try to learn what they can, and if they actually do stumble across any big leads they’ll let the adults know right away and they won’t do anything stupid or take any risks themselves. except that of course it doesn’t turn out that way, and they inevitably do end up Deep In The Shit. and somehow during the course of this arc they finally learn the secret of Noumus and how Ujiko has been making them using kidnapped kids, and all that other extremely dark and disturbing shit. and Hawks probably plays a big role in this arc as well (and possibly Endeavor and Dabi, by extension).

probably this will be a huge arc, and once it’s over we’ll need a break from all that seriousness, so I expect we’ll see some more school stuff; possibly a training session with some of the kids from Ketsubutsu and Shiketsu. we may also see the kids enter their second year, depending on how much time passes. if that happens we’ll learn where Shinsou ends up, and hopefully that will be 1-A! we may also learn more about Aizawa’s past if we haven’t already by this point. and have some more character development for the kids as well.

and now we get to the events which I’m certain will happen, but I’m not sure when and how and in which order. but basically:

Mass Production of the Quirk-Be-Gone Bullets - sparking a huge crisis and possibly taking out a number of the big heroes in the initial wave of attacks. this may lead to the kids’ training being intensified yet again out of fear of the new threat. if the Quirk Liberation guys haven’t been eliminated, the remaining members of their army may go to war against the League again, which would buy the heroes some time. maybe they manage to take out the League’s production facilities and buy a little more.

Prison Break Arc - because All for One isn’t just going to sit around forever. Stain will probably get out too, which is… well, whatever. it may end up splitting the loyalties of some of the League’s members though. and depending on whether or not AFO is able to heal up and restore himself to full strength, he may end up turning on Tomura as well which would obviously be huge. we’ll probably be getting Dad for One hints left and right at this point, and maybe even the big reveal at long last, depending on how things go.

U.A. Traitor Reveal - a.k.a. Hagakure is outed at last. so this I think will go hand-in-hand with the U.A. Invasion arc, and will probably be the lead-up to it. U.A. frantically trying to narrow down who the traitor could be. maybe even someone is framed or wrongly accused. lots of ways to play this one out.

More Mysterious Shit with One for All - uncovering the secrets of the last two wielders! possible time travel shenanigans! unlocking the rest of Deku’s SIXQUIRKS. etc. I don’t think Deku will fully master all of this, mind you – I’m thinking more along the lines of him frantically working to learn as much as he can in a limited amount of time, knowing shit is about to hit the fan and he’s almost out of time to prepare. think Aang training to defeat Ozai with the deadline of Sozin’s comet looming over him. also by this point he may have been outed as All Might’s successor and so there may be additional pressure on him in that regard. I can’t decide whether or not I think that’s likely to happen lol.

and finally, U.A. Invasion Arc - I envision this being either the final arc or the next-to-last, the reason being that the school would probably be destroyed or at the very least severely damaged. allow me to remind you all of Dabi’s speech all the way back in chapter 62 about how U.A. and All Might were the two most trusted foundations of the current society. well, we already lost All Might. so basically, if U.A. falls, that’s it. fucking chaos. anarchy. complete and utter panic. and that’s why I feel like this could only take place at or towards the very end of the series, when it’s fucking do or die time. anyways, so this will be huge, with a ton of epic battles and shocking plot twists, and it’ll probably be more brutal than any arc that comes before it, with at least one shocking death (looking at you, All Might. mind you, if I’m wrong it’ll be the happiest I’ve ever been to be wrong about something). Tomura by this point might have changed sides, or he might be on His Own Side and just kind of confused and looking for his own revenge and not sure who he hates most at this point and All Might might actually get his chance to save him after all. and Deku will finally beat AFO with the help of Kacchan and all the rest of his friends and all the past wielders of OFA. and bam. end of series.

so there you have it, those are my predictions. Horikoshi has said in past interviews that he doesn’t intend for this series to run for as long as some of the other WSJ classics (he originally only wanted it to be 30 volumes lol), and he’s also talked about how his favorite part of superhero stories is the origin story, which to me indicates that we won’t be seeing any timeskips or anything of the like. I figure all of these events would be more than enough to get us to 400-500 chapters easy, which seems like a reasonable length to me. of course it could easily end up running longer depending on whether or not he gets carried away. I probably won’t complain if so lol. anyway, should be a wild ride.

[thewookieruns]

Yeehawgust Day 18: Wild Wasteland

(This post ties into Day 10: Campfire Cuisine)

    Once dinner was over, the three campers laid there with full bellies. There was silence, save for the crackle of the fire. After sitting in silence for a while, Preston piped up.

    “Hey, Erich… do you remember the time when we were out there by Murkwater and came across the assaultron that someone had out in that dress and wig?”

    Shaun exploded in laughter. “Wait, what?” He asked through his laughs, tears forming in his eyes.

    “Oh yeah, that one was a doozy.” Preston responded, a huge grin on his face. “There we were, in the swamps, up to our knees in muck. We hear the assaultron coming after us, turn to start shooting at it, and that’s when we see it; it’s wearing this low-cut red sequin dress and has a curly blond wig on its head. It was one of the most terrifying and hilarious things I’ve seen.”

    Shaun laughed, turning to his father. “What about you dad? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen?”

    “Um… To keep up with the weird robots theme, running into Captain Ironsides on the USS Constitution and Deezer in Covenant was pretty weird. But I’d have to say the weirdest thing I’ve seen out here in the wasteland is… aliens.” Erich responded, his voice nonchalant at the end.

    Shaun stopped laughing immediately and looked at his dad. “Wait… you mean…”

    “Oh yeah. Aliens are real.” Erich responded simply. He looked over at his son. “I remember the day well. It was a clear day, and I had stopped at the Red Rocket truck stop to do some work on my armor. I suddenly heard something like a fighter jet from before the war come flying over. I ran outside and saw a trail of black smoke in the sky. So I grabbed my shotgun and ran, following the smoke.”

    “Where did you go?” Shaun asked. His eyes were wide and he clutched his knees to his chest.

“He’s getting there, Shaun. Give him a minute.” Preston chided the youth. He had a look of intense interest on his face as he motioned for Erich to continue.

”Well, I followed the smoke trail towards Bedford Station. As I got closer, my Pip-boy picked up a weird signal, kinda like the Brotherhood homing beacons. So, I started following that signal. After about 500 yards, that’s when I saw it.”

”Saw what?” Shaun whispered, his face pale.

“The crashed spaceship. It looked exactly like the flying saucers in the old Hubris Comics.” Erich responded, his voice low. He slid slightly closer to Shaun. “When I got closer, I saw a trail of what looked like green blood. I started following that to a small cave, and there he was: a little green man. He pulled out some kind of gun as I walked into the cave, so I killed him and took his gun.”

“Wait, what?” Shaun exclaimed, sitting upright. “You have an alien’s gun and didn’t show me?!”

“Remember the last time he showed you a really cool gun? You took it without asking and about incinerated an entire settlement when no one knew how to turn it off!” Preston laughed.

“I’ll show it to you some time, more than likely when you’re older. But for now, I think that’s enough stories for the night.” Erich said, lying down and closing his eyes with a grin on his face.

[imashayne]

Of Clouds in the Night Sky

Just a short quick Klance thing I wrote up the other night when I should have been working on bang fics XD This idea hit me and wouldn’t leave me alone, I had to get it out. It’s rough and I plan on doing more with it later, but for now I’m really happy with how it turned out lol

“That’s a wrap!” Coran clapped his hands, voice reaching the entire stage crew, including Lance where he stood up on the bridge. Beneath him the dancers broke their poses, chests heaving and sweat glistening beneath the lights as rehearsal ended. From his vantage he could see the handful of journalists from the school newspaper gather up their things as well.

To his left one of the other spotlights went out, and Lance followed suit. He breathed a small sigh of relief as the air around him cooled without the heat of the 500 watt bulbs. As he made his way over to the lift, gantry shifting with each step, Hunk and Pidge joined him.

“-I can’t believe the university doesn’t replace any of this old ass equipment-” Pidge huffed, folding her arms as they descended. Lance rolled his eyes, this conversation again. He liked working with the old spotlights, after all it was the closest he’d ever get to them he figured.

“We should bring it up to this century ourselves.” Hunk stated in a matter of fact manner, glancing down at Lance as he fanned himself, burnt orange shirt dark with sweat, “how do you not die of heat stroke next to those lamps in that sweater?”

Ignoring how his own clothes stuck to him Lance grabbed the collar of his signature green jacket and tugged it. “Are you kidding? I’m so cool it radiates from me.” Pidge snorted as the lift jarred to a halt.

When they reached the bottom he waved the two of them off, “I’ll catch up with you guys later!”

He began to cleanup, putting props away and hanging up the haphazard pile of discarded costumes. Taking his sweet time.

“Thank you my boy, always such a help. Once you’ve finished, lock up.” After Coran handed him the keys he left. Lance scanned the deserted backstage area, dashed to the left wing of the stage and glanced out into the seats.

Finally alone.

In the quiet Lance could almost pretend, as he stepped out onto the stage from behind the heavy red curtain, that it was the hush before a ballet began. On poised limbs Lance settled in the middle of the darkened stage. He slipped his jacket off in one motion that shifted like fluid into the next and the next.

Lance began to hum as he danced, arms arching and swooping, legs spinning him before he leapt into the air.

It was the almost imperceptible sound of a camera clicking, shutter closing to capture a moment, and the flash, lighting up the empty audience seats, that broke Lance’s concentration. What should have been a perfect landing ended with him falling, knees skidding across the glossed wooden floor.

But he ignored the pain, head snapping around to find who was there, pounding of his heart the only sound he could hear.

Lance didn’t have to look hard, from the wings a kid with pitch hair that looked as if it was in need of a trim rushed towards him, a look of concern on his features. It wasn’t until he was closer that Lance recognized him. Kevin or Keegan or something like that. They’d had a few of their general classes together. A pretty boy who’d never given Lance the time of day.

He held out his hand, “are you al-”

“What are you doing here?” Lance snapped, face flushed as he knocked the offered hand away and stood on his own. He couldn’t meet the other’s gaze, hyper aware of how bare his arms were. Blue eyes flashed back and forth, trying to find where he’d dropped his sweater. There! Center stage.

“Not that I owe you an explanation but I’m taking pictures for the article.” He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Lance tried not to lung for his jacket as he snatched it up, breathing a bit easier as he jammed his arms into the sleeves.

“Why did you take a picture of me?”

Smart guy didn’t have an answer for that one, by the way his mouth slammed shut.

“Well I don’t really care why, but you better delete it.”

The other scoffed. “Fuck no, you’re not my boss.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t ask to take my picture!”

Lance grabbed for the camera, but the other dodged away. Though he looked torn. Lance tried not to think about how cute he was as he bit his lip.

“Tell you what Lance-” That stopped him up short, this guy…. This super cute popular guy remembered him? “This picture will go away if you stop by my place.”

“Wha-no? Why?”

It was the other guy’s turn to blush, but he didn’t answer Lance’s question. “You know the Gama Zeta house?” Lance could only nod. “Meet me there, Saturday, 10 am.” He turned and started out of the theater, and was halfway down the middle aisle when Lance fell out of shock.

“Hey wait what about the picture?”

“I’ll delete it when you show up!”

***

Lance’s alarm went off, but his eyes were already wide open. All night, no, all week he’d been wondering why in the hell that guy asked him over. After what he’d seen that afternoon…

His thoughts ran wild as he brushed his teeth. What even possessed the guy to ask? The nerve. His own jittered in anticipation as he blended the foundation across his cheeks. He donned his jacket to cover his arms and headed out the door.

Anxiety was like electricity through his veins as he walked the campus.

By the time he reached the fraternity he felt lightheaded. It didn’t help that as he knocked on the door he held his breath. A tall guy answered and Lance’s eyes widened as he looked up at the handsome man.

“I’m uh… I’m here for…” Lance realized he never got a name.

“Oh yeah Keith said you’d be coming by for him. His room is up the stairs, second door on the right.

Lance followed the directions, but his fist hovered, hesitating to knock. The door opened regardless.

“Hey Shiro have you- Oh hey Lance you’re early.”

Lance could feel the warmth in his cheeks, “yeah uh…”

“Come in,” Keith stepped aside and as Lance entered he tried not to be too impressed with the mullet’s setup.

“What do you want.”

“Wow okay, no pleasantries.” Keith crossed his arms, “I want you to model for me.”

Lance was speechless, something rarely seen. Not that Keith would know.

“Can I take that silence as a yes?” Keith asked, mouth turned up at the corner. Lance sputtered, turning his gaze away from that adorable expression.

“Why in the hell would I say yes to that? I told you I wanted the one picture you took of me deleted.”

Keith pulled in a deep slow breath, running his fingers back through his hair and hell if Lance didn’t want to do the same thing.

“I’ve wanted to ask you since that class with Iverson-”

“Wait, you’ve wanted a picture of me for that long?” Lance wasn’t quite following.

“Yes-No! I mean…. I’ve wanted to ask you out. It wasn’t till I saw how fucking, Lance just breathtaking you were when you were dancing that I wanted to take your photo.”

For the second time that day, Lance was speechless. He wanted to call Keith a liar. To look around for the others who might be in on this prank.

The hopeful look that shone upon Keith’s features darkened with each second that passed.

But Lance had no idea how to reply, he searched for words, but the only ones that came to mind were “lets get this over with.” Before; “wait wait! I mean…. I don’t understand, like, at all. How you could be into me, and even less so about the, wanting a picture of me front but…. But sure to the date… and the photos…. So like, lets get this over with.” These sentiments rushed out of him before he could organize them.

“Slow down.” Keith chuckled, placing his hands on Lance’s shoulders. Keith began to slip the jacket down the other’s tensed shoulders. Though a part of him wished too, Lance didn’t stop him. It wasn’t until Keith’s hands slipped beneath Lance’s shirt that he did anything at all.

“Uh, what are you doing?” They were so close that Lance could feel the other’s breath hot against his lips.

“Getting you ready for the shoot.”

“Here I thought I was already-” His heart stuttered as the shirt lifted over his head, leaving him the barest he’d ever been around another, “ready.”

“Not for what I have planned.” Keith stated, tracing a part of lighter flesh upon Lance’s torso, hopping to the next pigmented discoloration, and the next, as if connecting stars to make a constellation. Until he reached Lance’s neck, pausing at his pulse, feeling how swift his heart beat.

“Make up?” Keith murmured.

Lance swallowed and nodded.

“It’s uh… it’s called vitiligo…” Lance answered, though Keith hadn’t asked. “It’s a skin condition….”

Keith nodded, taking a step back, leaving Lance feeling even more vulnerable than before.

“Go wash your face and take the rest of your clothes off.” He gestured towards his bathroom.

“No way!” Lance squeaked, covering his chest.

One eyebrow raised and a crooked smile graced Keith’s face. “Would you like my help again?”

The door slamming was his only answer as Lance stormed to the room Keith had pointed out.

When the door opened next Keith barely glanced up as he fiddled with his camera. Lance cleared his throat, unsure of what to do now.

“You can go and sit on my bed, I’ll pose you in a sec…”

Lance glanced between Keith and the neatly made bed.

“You sure do think you’re a smooth fucker huh?” Lance’s voice was tight, and he tried to will himself to calm.

“Yeah but only when I’m really into someone.” He shot a smirk up at Lance, eyebrow raising, “you’re gonna have to take the towel off.”

“I bet you say that to all t-the p-pretty…” his voice stuttered to a halt as Keith took all of him in.

“You’re beautiful.” He stood and pulled Lance’s hand out of the death grip it held on the towel. As the terry cloth fell Lance imagined how Keith’s lips would feel beneath his own. What would happen if, instead of sitting on the bed, Keith moving his limbs into a suggestive air, he grabbed the other boy and tumbled them both onto the blankets.

But then he tried not to think of that, because god forbid he have a damn boner while Keith was taking pictures of him.

“Take a deep breath Lance, hold that position for as long as you can.” He was on his knees, one hand between his legs, hiding his stiffening member, and one splayed back. He had no idea what sort of expression he was making, nor what he should be. But Keith didn’t say anything else as he stepped back, camera clicking away, each time from a different angle.

“Now hang your leg off the bed, but keep the other up and bent beneath you…” Keith walked around the bed, “straighten up, arch your back a bit…” click, “move your left hand to your hip…”click, “now to your shoulder.” Click.

Keith was behind Lance. “look back at me…perfect.” The last word was but a breath. Silence reigned and Lance grew sore with stiffness.

“Oh you can totally move now.”

He almost fell off the bed as he turned to find Keith sitting at his desk, camera already hooked up to his computer.

“Can I see?”

“Not yet, you can leave if you want but-“ Keith’s smile was bright as he looked at Lance again, before his eyes flicked back towards his screen, “I’d enjoy the company.”

Lance blinked before the flush that had never dissipated flared up. He nodded, though Keith wasn’t looking. “Yeah I’ll stay.” He got dressed, touching his face as he exited the bathroom. Of course he’d forgotten his makeup at home. The thought of leaving without any hiding his complexion had the anxiety that flirting had buried resurface. He needed a distraction. But talking with Keith seemed out of the question, he was so focused. Instead Lance began to wander the room. Everything was so tidy, each item had a place, from the boring physics books to the wicked looking knife. It all was a puzzle, like the boy himself.

Being as impatient as he was Lance quickly exhausted every diversion. With a sigh he fell onto the bed, satisfied that the covers mussed. He groaned, rolling onto his stomach, feet kicking up behind him.

Keith’s head fell back. “OMG Lance.”

“I’m bored! Are you done?”

“Ya know I said you could leave.”

“And you said you wanted company!” Lance was standing and didn’t remember doing so.

“Yeah before I knew you’d just be complaining the whole time.”

“I haven’t said a word! But okay whatever, I just wanted to see… I’m going.” Lance stomped over to the door, but a hand closed over his wrist and Keith spun him, leading him to the desk as he sat down he pulled Lance into his lap. Hushing his protests with a kiss. Lightning crackled down through his system but before he could deepen the exchange Keith was already pulling away.

“The edits aren’t done, but…” Keith turned the chair so that they could both look at the screen. What he saw stole Lance’s breath away.

Keith had changed the lighting of the photo to look like evening. But it wasn’t like nighttime around Lance, he’d made Lance the night. He had somehow made the lighter areas of pigmentation on Lance’s skin appear as clouds drifting through the sky. There was one across his right eye, and upon his hip. The one encompassing his shoulder looked as if it were being shaped by his own hand. The freckles that peppered his cheeks and back were brightened to look like stars and the blue of his eyes looked like deep pools.

“Woah.” He murmured, “Keith…. This is amazing.”

“You’re amazing Lance.”

“No way I don’t look like this!”

Keith’s arms tightened around him, “That’s how I see you.”

[shadowtongued]

DISCLAIMER; THIS HAS BEEN IN THE MAKING SINCE DEC 2017, I was just too shy to post it. Keep in mind that I'm not in any way, shape, or form trying to put my headcanons or interpretation of lore over anyone else's and this is pretty much just a general long-form run down for my roleplay blog to help people who aren't familiar with RS, so for my non-RS friends it's more of an explanation of how this 'tall ancient magic alien man' is and works. Physiology and some other cultural blurbs with the occasional emphasis on Sliske, because, well, that's what my roleplay blog is for. This is also mostly a passion project since I'm pretty fixated on this, if you read this at all, kudos to you and ily, ty for coming to my Ted Talk about this. Special thanks to people/friends who put up with me ranting abt this obscure fandom and helped me flesh out headcanons, and @theresiidentdevil  the artwork that i commissioned that i use way too much bc devil really... really did my version of snek man nice. Other imgs used are scrounged from ja.gex’s concept arts and etc. ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT CANON, AND JUST MY PERSONAL HYPOTHESIS, feel free to reblog but please don’t like... edit or try to give me heavy crit or come @ me with some lore bit from so-and-sos tweet that I am wrong and am a doodoo head or something. This was just a spot o’ fun and please don’t try to drag my interpretation or expunge this for laughs on the official lore discord. I’ve seen it done before and it’s not cool. individual creative interpretation is beautiful, mob bullying is not.

To kick things off, the Mahjarrat are one of a few ancient tribes that live on the ash, lava, and stone wasteland that makes up the dead planet of Freneskae. They are highly skilled in magic and intellect by nature, as well as living by a firm form of kratocracy; a government by those who are strong enough to seize power through coercive power, social persuasion, or deceptive cunning. Along with this, their survival revolves around two rituals, one of death and sacrifice, the other of life and breeding. That right there should tell you a LOT about them, socially.  

HEIGHT.

Height varies from Mahjarrat to Mahjarrat, they are always going to be towering over most species, and most humans, as lore states that they generally are 1.5x the average human height. Sans that one wild ass gene of hyper height that makes gargantuan Mahjarrat like Lucien and Zemoregal, who tower over even Azzanadra's spike pope hat. Sliske himself stands at an 8′4 height, but that's just my headcanon for this blog's sake.

SKULLS / BONES.

The Mahjarrat have thick skulls, if this wasn't pretty obvious with the additions of dual lines of bony ridges running parallel from the brow to back of the skull, and lower. Some, but not all individuals have rather, short horns as their 'first ridge' before normal ridges. They also seem to have a subtle browbone ridge above each eye. Sliske, as well as some of the canon Mahjarrat we know, have these short horns and I like to exaggerate them a bit as sharp and more obvious, because who doesn't love horns? I'd imagine there are also ridges across other parts of their bodies such as the shoulders, elbows, knees, smaller ones on the knuckles, and perhaps down the back and along the hips. Go wild. Anyways, their skulls are thick and heavy, as in if it comes down to having to head-butt someone at the sacrificial ritual as a last resort physical conflict when magic is exhausted, someone is going to be using every exploit they can to survive. Anything counts when your life is on the line. 

*above concept art is of their lich-like forms. good for seeing skull shapes.

Most also have rather large jawbones and powerful jaw muscles, and have a decent bite force to clamp down; like above, can and will use the force of their jaws if they have to with a good 1,069 psi (pounds per square inch), a little less than a hyena, meaning they can break bones with enough force. The main reasoning for this is their powerful mandible adductor muscles and the leverage needed to keep their jaw closed in their lich-like forms with the loss of skin and some atrophy, when they begin to run low on energy before every 500 years ( more on this later ), otherwise their toothy jaws would be hanging open and they'd look quite silly. It's quite rare for a Mahjarrat to bite unless as a last resort attack, out of spite when healthy ( almost as if saying 'you are weak and aren't worth the waste of magical energy' ), or for other minute reasons. Males tend to have very pronounced 'spikes' on their chins and larger skull ridges, but it's not completely unheard of a female having a 'spiked' chin and larger ridges. Sexual dimorphism isn’t too well explained or solidified by Jagex, we haven’t really seen much due to the few living Mahjarrat we see.

TEETH / CONSUMPTION.

personal interpretation of sliske’s teeth here.

Speaking of teeth, Mahjarrat have exceedingly sharp teeth for being part of a race that is not carnivorous or needing any sustenance at all. They have more teeth than humans (not really canon, just my personal interpretation, I prefer them being very Alien over ‘grey human reskin’); while almost every tooth has a sharpness to it, be it incisors or tines in the molars. Their front teeth seem to be ridged with smaller points, you probably don't want to get nipped by them, even if it's just playful or affectionate (uh, whatever they deem as affection). It's a real shame that Sliske seems to enjoy this, in the few moments he puts on a faux air of affection to scratch an itch or when deciding to use seduction as a ploy to further his manipulation or intel gathering, among other rare, convoluted feelings towards someone he's 'affectionate' with. Teeth shape and sizes can vary due to the Mahjarrat way of breeding and eugenics to create survivability through offspring on what traits work. Basic Darwinism, tbh. Following my ever favorite serpent motif for Sliske, you can expect his teeth to be pretty ophidian/snake-like. Due to my headcanon to their dark blood color, Mahjarrats may have dark or black gums. Small addition: babs do have sharp defensive baby teeth that fall out into hellish adult ones. Nice.

Mahjarrat do not need to eat or drink, as they are fueled fully by an arcane energy that they receive from rituals, and slowly deplete this over several centuries. Their power can last even longer if an individual is stingy with their power, or unaware of their power like Kharshai, who spent several centuries in a human guise hardly using any energy while unaware he was even a Mahjarrat. Despite not needing sustenance, it's not unheard of for Mahjarrat to attempt eating or drinking for whatever reason, be it pleasure or to emulate others. Hazeel's memories almost adorably describe some Mahjarrat attempting to sit and politely eat with humans to 'bond with them', despite them later having to regurgitate what they had eaten and Hazeel's repulsion at any creature eating at all. Several lore snippets include Zamorak enjoying wine and in Kindred Spirits, Sliske making the comment he may be drunk after downing the contents of a bottle. Whether or not they actually can become inebriated or have any sort of digestive system to even mildly uptake anything is debatable. For headcanon's sake, I like to think Sliske has no issue with pleasure eating and for taste, especially chocolate, fully knowing he'll have to bring it back up later. Most Mahjarrat have tongues that can be dark in color to only slightly brighter due to their dark blood color. Like horns, some end up with a slightly bifurcated tongue tip, some do not and have a single, sharp tip. Sliske is an extreme mutated case and has a very obvious black, snake-like, forked tongue. Just don’t ask him to do the thip thip because he won’t.

(WHERE’D YA GET THOSE) EYES / SENSES.

Usually, A Mahjarrat's eyes correspond to the color of the jewel embedded in their crown, but not always. They have very, keen eyes and their eyesight is exceptional to suit the darkness of Freneskae due to the constant ashfall and cloud cover. They can see short distances, but farther into heavy smoke and ash than most species, and can indeed see in the dark with excellent night vision and have a structure similar to an animal's tapetum lucidem, which is what reflects light and makes that eerie glare you see from animals in the dark. Due to spending a lot of time on Freneskae and being well adapted to that environment, it was quite a jolt for them to get accustomed to sunlight on Gielinor when brought during the Menaphite War, as they were used to heavy 'cloudy' weather due to ash blocking out what light they did get, and being used to the constant lightning strikes and the glow of volcanic rifts and lava pools. But they adapt quite well and while they still prefer muted lights, they have no problem in the sunlight after adjusting a bit. Think of when it’s a sunny summer day and you leave your dark house and how for a few minutes you have to acclimate. Sliske has the most trouble with this, seeing as he still spends quite some time in the darkness of the Shadow Realm which is hazy and muted in light. He's quite prone to straining and headaches/migraines from bright lights on Gielinor ( and Earth since a lot of my writing takes place on Modern Earth ).

Mahjarrat have fairly acute senses and sharp ears, and while most concept art shows them similar to human ears, why not lorge, sharp, and pointy ( as not to be so human )? Plus, imagine a few with larger, pointed ones that flick when irritated. That's cute, but deadly. They can hear fairly well and can hear you talking shit. Not exactly up to par with a bat or a moth, but quite up there with horses or cats. I'd imagine the rest of their senses are pretty keen despite not using taste or smell as much as a human, but most senses are still fairly above a human’s.

I'm not exactly sure how they'd fare in the aspect of touch, but it is known that they are very, very strong and can break bones with their bare hands. They have exceptional strength in their bodies and despite teleporting some ways, I'll bet most of them are decently muscular or lean under those robes due to their solidity and a bad example perhaps, but, uh, have you seen Zamorak's exposed chest? I'm sure 'godhood' didn't change that much, albeit some. Who wouldn't love a decently built Enahkra who will hand your ass to you? A babe. Sliske himself, while being one of the leanest of the Mahjarrat, probably has core strength and broad shoulders under those pauldrons. I'd like to imagine he'd also ( as some other of his kin) would be pretty flexible and train his Praetorians to be similar and absolutely strong in the event of having to resort to physical combat or maneuvering out of capture. Most of them were born on Freneskae, a planet made of plenty of solid rock/crystal cliffs and caves, they made pilgrimages pretty often to the ritual site, so some rock climbing was probably involved as they grew. Plus, image small, child Mahjarrat, not able to teleport or be proficient in magic, just out on a day with less lightning, climbing around, chucking rocks into lava for fun. I'm getting off-topic and we'll talk about babbies some other post.

SKIN / STRIPES / SCARRATIONS.

personal interpretation body/stripe of sliske here. (mildly nsfw)

 Skin colorations are usually running the gamut of dark grey, pale grey, and dull color such as a grey-green, grey yellow and more. It's also notable that Mahjarrat are shapeshifters and are known to slowly take on the appearances of the conditions they are in for extended amounts of time; Kharshai becoming more 'viking-esque' like the Fremennik people who took him in when he was unaware he was human, and also Bilrach's warped appearance from spending god knows how long in Daemonheim with larger ridges, scarring, and some more demonic-looking features. Sliske himself has a very deep, dark slate grey skin tone from the amount of time he spends in the dark of the Shadow Realm, beginning to mimic its dusk. 

Mahjarrat have thick skin, built initially to withstand the heat and abrasion of their home world’s rocky and dangerous climate and environment, but also notably protective against icy and snow-fraught climates, as they have little to no issue or complaint at heading far North of the Fremennik Providence, near the icy fortress of Ghorrock where their ritual stone lays on Gielinor ( it's also notable that Jhallan asks the adventurer to re-seal him within a fuggin’ block of ice to rest again, proving they do not mind the cold at all ). Their skin can scar if proper regeneration is not taken to heal wounds, as Mahjarrat are known for almost instantaneously healing themselves of most wounds on the battlefield to their own volition, but this is quite rarely seen on them, sans Bilrach.  For all we know, they could be quite scarred from lack of regeneration fueled by magical energy or quite severe wounds under those robes that cover most of their body, I personally headcanon that some may have some scarring on their hands and forearms due to the might of some of the spells they use. I also personally headcanon Sliske having a pretty nasty burn across his shoulder and ribs trailing to the hip on the left side from Tumeken's explosive self-sacrifice detonation that wiped out the entirety of his army and at least 3/4ths of the Mahjarrat present, sans the ones spared by Azzanadra's quick shielding. I would think that some of them also may have suffered from similar scars due to Kharshai admitting they were tired and wounded after the event.

Striping and markings can litter their forms in sparse or rather heavy. Most Mahjarrat have at least some facial striping that can be a monochrome pale grey or darker, or a bright color such as Wahisietel's bright red trailing across his ridges to his chin spikes, Enakhra's vivid pink colorations, and Khazard's orange striping. While stripes may look similar from individual to individual you are hard-pressed to find two Mahjarrat with identical markings, and we have never heard of any twins being born from their tribe in canon ( Not saying it's not possible! But that would be a lot of strain seeing as once child is hard enough for a pair to conceive ). It's unknown if the stripes are across the rest of their bodies, but I say to hell with it. Why the hell not? Let the stripes go as angular or curvy as they please across their skin. Why limit the imagination. They are aliens. For the sake of me writing Sliske; he's a very pale silvery, parallel stripy thing under those robes with handsome slate skin. Go figure, that's jus' me though. ( Whatddya mean I made a personal ref of that?? s w e a t s?? slight warning for some not safies. )

CLAWS / FEET.

personal interpretation of sliske’s rock climbin’ sharp feets here.

Mahjarrat probably do have clawed hands and feet, and they are thick and sharp, along with strong ( most likely calloused for some ) palms and heels for climbing ( possibly before they were so proficient with teleporting ) They are also prime last resort weapons if need be and constantly need filing down on Gielinor and other terrains since they aren't around the rocky outcrops of Freneskae and using them there as much, most Mahjarrat seem to opt to wear gloves anyway. Their legs and arms are also pretty sturdy for climbing despite not needing to do so as much. I’d imagine they might just have longer toe and finger bones for mild gripping abilities when it comes to climbing. I’ve also kinda headcanoned often that they probably might have wrapped parts of their feet in bindings, just to keep things like soft arches or tendon areas save when climbing or walking. Ancient hellplanet fashion, baby.

GEMS.

Just about all Mahjarrat ( and Dreams of Mah in general ) have at least one 'crystal' or 'gemstone' in their brows or crowns ( whoever in the wiki said Sliske doesn't have one is a fraud, just because we don't see it due his V tapered hood doesn't mean it's not there, as it has been shown in several concept arts that he does have two yellow-green or 'peridotite' colored diamonds, like his half-brother’s four of the same color ). When asked about it in the Children of Mah quest, Wahisietel states that even they are not sure as to why they have them but believe it to be a direct connection to Mah. It's also implied that a dead Mahjarrat's 'crystal' often records their last thoughts or actions. Most Mahjarrat have the exact same bright iris color as their stones ( the concept art with Sliske having gold eyes throws me off, but I'd imagine there could be some minor color differences ). It seems that gemstones look-alike from siblings and offspring, as Sliske and his half-brother Wahisietel have almost the same colored crystal and shape despite Wahisietel having four diamonds to Sliske's two.

 ORGANS? OR LACK THEREOF? 

personal interpretation of nasty snake man blood here.

It's truly unknown as to just how many organs Mahjarrat have and if there is any comparison to be made to humans. It can be hypothesized they do have at least a heart ( With more chambers than a humans? Or two! Who knows! ) and lungs. If they do have lungs, it could be stated that they are very strong and made to filter out the heavy ash and debris of Freneskae's poor air quality, our adventurer had enough trouble breathing on Freneskae if you didn't take face gear. They do not seem to have a digestive tract as they do not need sustenance or hydration and perhaps have a makeshift stomach that leads nowhere as if they do eat anything, they just have to regurgitate it. Onto blood, they possibly do have a circulatory system and blood, as Lucien states he didn't 'want to spill any more Mahjarrat blood'. Normal human blood would be a bit boring so I like to imagine they have thick, dark-colored blood that has some iridescent properties to it ( not glittery, but if you have ever seen what the ink in a ballpoint pen looks like when dumped out, it has a particular shine to it. ) and never seems to be just one color, like an oil slick. Probably because it's so rich in arcane properties which would also make it pretty toxic, bitter, or awfully sickly sweet. This also means that they would blush pretty dark in color and have dark-colored tongues and etc. rather than red like humans, that's.... kinda cute.  Also, if we are talking about organs and parts, a small blurb, no, female Mahjarrat do not have boobs. There's no need since they probably do not feed their young at all. So breaking canon for the sake of biology, hi, Mahjarrat probably don't have boobs or nips. Kinda doesn’t make sense. SHRUG. But they do have belly buttons, so maybe they are gestated with umbilical cords.

THE BANE OF THE JMOD’S EXISTENCE: MAHJARRAT REPRODUCTION

Y'all wanted it Jmods yell when we ask for it, here it is: my reproduction hypothesis. We have little to no real canon lore for Mahjarrat other than that they do(?) reproduce sexually, it takes a lot of energy to do so (abt 50% physical effort, 50% the pair pooling their life energy into the event, kinda dangerous), and that they are culturally fond of breeding during earthquakes ( this was just a cultural tradition and it's probably possible to breed outside of this tradition, the jokes say it’s almost Pavlovian ). They have a specific ritual for breeding, The Ritual of Enervation. The Enervation is the foil of a Ritual of Rejuvenation where one of their kind is sacrificed to provide all others with energy and return them from their lich-like states to fleshy filled out ones, the Enervation is a pilgrimage to select a mate and breed to create a new Mahjarrat between a pair. It's slightly hinted that the pair chooses their mate based upon battle prowess or cunningness ( Zemouregal Senior chose his mate based on her skills in battle ) . Much like real animals today, they want only the strongest genetics and mutations to continue on. All of them fight each other for their pick of a mate. Very rarely do the pairs have any emotional attachment, this is rare. And the ritual still isn't pretty; I'll say it, they are rough lovers. Expect biting, scratching, bruising, and more. Kinky. Let me tell you, human genitalia are boring as hell when you are describing aliens. Phallic genitalia differs a lot from individual to individual, it's a slight 'grab bag to see what part works best for future genetics'. Mahjarrat bits are pretty internal until aroused since it makes no sense for them to be external seeing as all Mahjarrat lose a lot of skin and muscle to atrophy as they age and lose energy, so they'd do better internally and tucked away. Vaginal genitalia differs heavily as well, anything goes. Barbs? Sure. Flowery looking bits? Sure. It's aliens, guys. Go wild. Same thing with sexualities and genders, other than what they want to present themselves as, we don't know shit, so go for it. I'm fairly sure Mahjarrat really don't mind gender identity and anything goes, they see power, survival, and fighting over everything else. Sliske, of course, is male presenting and yes, has his own unique bits. Uh, ridges, bifurcated tip, fan-like appendage for preventing backflow. I'd describe more but I'm already pRETTY FUCKING SHY RIGHT NOW BC I DON'T KNOW HOW TO talk much abt this. I'm a beginner alien fucker. Give me a break. UPDATE: I went there, I no longer have shame. bc I roughly drew it.

I’m not sure what the good estimate would be when it comes to how long a Mahjarrat gestates, is it longer than a human? Quicker due to magic? We just don’t know. The birth rate is exceedingly low due to the dangers and strain of Freneskae, it's not unheard of for miscarriages or mothers to pass away from lack of energy or during the fray of the constant other tribes attacking each other. Generally, it's a duty to protect a gravid mother of the sake of population, mate or not. Putting aside your disdain for your nemesis was hard but needed if you wanted to keep your tribe thriving. Fathers don't tend to stick around after the ritual other than to check in to protect their child and future genetics as insurance. Mothers rear children and if they could get along and not spat at one another, often looked after each other's children. Maternal groups were pretty common and one could leave another to watch their kids while they went off on their duties of making lightning rods, scouting, and more. 

MISC? 

Mahjarrats don't exactly have the same bonds as humans and familial life was harsh, mainly due to the stress of knowing your own blood one day might betray you and vote you off to be the sacrifice at a ritual. They are not affectionate as much as humans and care in their own backwards way about each other if they are family, but it's an arm's length approach. Sliske and Wahisietel seem to get along and still probably have their ferocious verbal quarrels and have possibly even physically scuffled a bit over things, but managed to have concern for one another, as do Mahjarrat who are as best a definition of 'friends' can be to them. Remember that they are very paranoid of one another and usually only see eye to eye if in the same political faction or having to make a deal or coerce one another to stand up for you if you are challenged at a ritual ( later on this became a huge political agenda between the two main sides; Zamorakian or Zarosian and fighting intensified at dislike for each other ). As they evolved from their creation, they just generally became more and more mistrustful of each other to point of paranoia. So affection is incredibly weird to them and the first thought that comes from it is 'what do you want and why?' and it's expected to be a deceitful notion. Hence, Sliske is incredibly good at persuading others and using deceitful action to lure people but the moment it's done to him, he'll play along but consider it warily as false notions. Sorry not sorry, that's pretty habitual to him and will stay with him, as well as his kin. You're never going to have a 'stable relationship' with any Mahjarrat. Well, not 100% at least. You can try, they might even appreciate it if they aren’t offended.

That’s about all I wanted to say and anything left out of this word spew can be covered in other posts. Like culture.... or babbies. I have a lot to say about Babjarrats but no place right now to keep up this long shit.  UPDATE: i talked abt my thoughts on babjarrats. it was the best of my life.

[shogetsus]

Stripes of Auburn, Eye of Sapphire

24. Mai

Read on Ao3 | Read on FFN |  Masterlist

Summary: I’ve got my trip back to the present coming up in some months. Even Sasuke warned me specifically about getting too close to any of these guys. And as much fun I’ve been having here or how comfortable I am thanks to Masamune, in the end it’s pretty obvious I’m just plainly playing with fire…

She’s not as stupid as to deny her feelings for him, or their undeniable chemistry for that matter. However, she’s nothing but a plain, normal girl, and there are other solid reasons why Masamune Date is called the One-eyed Dragon, with everything that alone entails. Dragons are not just wild, but ruthless, volatile, untamable.

No TWs. Slight spoilers - Masamune's route

Mai

Outside the castle walls, the sky falls into orange hues, announcing the coming of dusk. As closer as she is of ending with her current errands, her jumbled and unsure thoughts keep her from taking the road back to the gates and her current residence, walking aimlessly across random streets in town.

Taking out the last piece of paper she holds from the breast pocket of her kimono, Mai stares at the drawing requested by Masamune. Worrying her lip, she becomes torn between what she wants and what should really be done.

“… I hear you’re having trouble sleeping.” Ieyasu deadpanned, not looking up from his reading after receiving her in his office. “It’s Masamune, isn’t it?”

Her breath caught in her throat—Hideyoshi must have really gone to him, after all. “What? Masamune?”

Ieyasu suddenly closed his book to look at her. “Am I wrong?” He questioned, quirking a skeptical brow.

“Yes… and no, alright,” Mai sighed, avoiding his eyes. “Masamune is, in fact, one of the reasons I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Still, it’s no—”

“If you don’t want to get hurt, you should cut things off with him quickly.” Emerald eyes pierced at her, but there was no malice in it, just his usual bluntness. “You’re thinking Masamune’s still normal, but I assure you, he’s not.” Still, the hint of warning in Ieyasu’s voice sat her on edge, “Even in these times of war, there’s no one scarier to have nearby.”

In truth, she never actually thought Masamune had a shred of normality to begin with. However, there was no more inappropriate time for her to be having that exact conversation—not right when actually returning from his manor after having a really nice lunch, and an even better steamy make-out session with. One she was not-so-secretly looking forward to repeating it again in a couple of hours, at least until now.

“And what, pray tell, is so scary about him?” Frustratingly, Ieyasu didn’t answer. And without another word, he went back to his book.

A tired sigh escapes her lips after recalling her past conversation, prompting her attention back to the paper in her hands. It had taken less time than most of the other samples she made for Kojuro, but it’s not a rushed job at all, and she’s actually quite proud of it. Deep within her heart, Mai knows the main reason why that illustration stands out from the others is pretty much due to Masamune showing a genuine liking to her work—a truly inspiring gesture, and something she currently is and will remain very thankful for.

It had to be her herbalist and medicine teacher the one to plant the seed of doubt on her.

“To be fair though, Ieyasu’s probably right…” If anything else, she has to be honest with herself. And the harsh truth is, she should consider cutting things off with Masamune right away.

I’ve got my trip back to the present coming up in some months. Even Sasuke warned me specifically about getting too close to any of these guys. And as much fun I’ve been having here or how comfortable I am thanks to Masamune, in the end it’s pretty obvious I’m just plainly playing with fire…

She’s not as stupid as to deny her feelings for him, or their undeniable chemistry for that matter. However, she’s nothing but a plain, normal girl, and there are other solid reasons why Masamune Date is called the One-eyed Dragon, with everything that alone entails. Dragons are not just wild, but ruthless, volatile, untamable.

Is it truly worth to let herself be caught within the dragon’s maw? Isn’t it safer to call it quits before their relationship gets serious—as it is actually on the verge of becoming?

What is she even looking forward to with such a guy?

“Psst!” A subtle whistle suddenly prompts her attention, turning on her heels to find the source, but no one in particular seems to be coming her way, just the usual coming and going of locals and merchants about the streets. Still, the glint of glass against light catches the corner of her eye, making her curious enough as to cross the street, entering a lone alleyway.

A person in green robes seems to be awaiting her, in the safety of the shadows, but it’s the shimmer of their glasses what gives them away. “Sasuke…? Is that you?”

“Mai,” Her friend from 500 years in the future reveals a portion of his face, pretty stiff as normal, but undeniably him. “Do you have some time to talk?” He outstretches his hand in invitation.

She hesitates at first; after all, it’s just her luck to kind of run into trouble every time she happens to head out to town, and despite being her friend, it’s an unexpected encounter nonetheless. Still, her doubts only last for a little moment before tucking her picture back into her breast pocket, grasping his hand.

“Sure.”

Grey clouds close upon the sky as the two of them navigate the streets of Azuchi, and Mai has to keep up with his quick pacing as they walk past all the familiar places to her and reach the outskirts, coming to a stop at an inconspicuous inn.

“I don’t want to be rude, Sasuke,” She begins, taking a seat in a room on the first floor of the building, “But if this is about you telling me you work for the Oda’s enemy, I kind of already figured that out by now…”

He sits down across from her, speaking in his usual smooth, calming tone, “I would like to explain everything I can, if you allow me.” His expression matches the voice as he goes, “Do you remember me telling you I saved Kenshin Uesugi’s life right after I arrived here?”

“Yes. And I’ve heard a little about him since then too. Seen him as well,” Mai suppresses a shiver at the mere thought of Kenshin in battle—a thunderstorm unleashing his wrath upon anyone who dared stand in his way. “But even more so, I’m more acquainted with his associate.”

“Well, indeed he and Shingen Takeda have joined forces.” Sasuke nods, procuring them some tea, yet appearing to be deliberating his words, “I’m currently here supporting a colleague under Lord Kenshin’s orders, doing recon work, and—”

Finally, a small frown makes his features on his face move, hesitating for a moment, “Lastly, as Lord Shingen’s envoy.”

Mai falters before taking a sip of her tea, recalling the contents of a certain letter brought to her through odd means. ‘Have you considered my offer? If so, an envoy of mine will meet you soon. I’m eagerly looking forward to our fourth meeting.’

“Does that mean…” Skepticism catches on to her—as much as, in her heart, Sasuke is her one true ally in that strange world they’ve happened to get caught up to, his allegiances might come to be problematic at most. “Are you trying to whisk me away from Azuchi and bring me to your employers? Is that why we’re here?”

“No.” Adjusting his glasses, Sasuke is most resolute in that, “I had the chance to work with Lord Shingen to exactly prevent that from happening… much to Lord Kenshin’s disappointment,” He seems inclined to admit that last tidbit, “I really intend to avoid kidnapping and non-consenting situations on your behalf. It has taken me some convincing to my employer, but we’ve managed to sway him.”

“Hence, why you signed up for this…” Mai catches on fast, nodding thoughtfully, sipping on her tea to soothe the sudden anxiety coursing through her.

With as much as she’s gathered from the current time period they’re into, Mai knows deep down Sasuke is being honest, thoughtful, and looking forward to her best interests at heart. By catching the eye of not one, but two enemies of the Oda, surely someone else might have taken her against her will already, without even bothering to let her have a say on it.

“I understand your concerns on this, Mai. However, if you’d like to hear my opinion, I too believe it might be for the best if you come with me.” He sets his teacup aside, gaze dropping in a way that makes her wary, “Azuchi might become a battleground soon.”

“W-what?” Her eyes go wide, stammering, “Explain that, please.”

He sighs deeply, “Of all the things I’m willing to, I’m afraid that is the one I can’t.” With lips pursing, Sasuke goes on to seemingly the best of his extent, “I presume you know this by now, but the Oda had caught word I’m here. To make it worse, some of Lord Shingen’s elite spies have already been captured. I can’t stay in Azuchi for much longer if I intend to avoid that…”

Sinking in thought, the gears in her head run deeper and deeper, struggling to keep up with the entire implications of Sasuke’s long-gathered intel. “But, I don’t think it’s safe for you to stay either.” He insists, looking at her dead in the eye. “That’s why I want to extend Lord Shingen’s invitation and ask you to come with me to Kasugayama Castle, Lord Kenshin’s home.”

“I—I see…” Sasuke is clearly serious about everything, and a true friend merely trying to help her out. Regardless, “I might need some time to think about it before I can make a decision like that.”

His lips purse again, conflicted, “I wish I could give you that, but we have to leave tonight.”

“Sasuke, the people of Azuchi have taken good care of me. I don’t like the idea of disappearing on them without a word.” And she won’t just be doing that—she’d be joining the enemy. For all it takes, they’d very likely see that as a betrayal, and with enough reason to.

She feels a lead weight on her chest, digging her nails into her palms as she frets over the situation. To make it worse, as she flutters her eyes close, the face of only one man comes to mind.

That stupid, reckless, wild, most adorable Masamune…

Setting aside Sasuke’s efforts, Masamune is the only guy who’s helped her to adjust to life in that crazy time period, and frankly owes a lot more than her vanishing into thin air. In reality, her feelings don’t just come from a vain physical attraction, but also for the moments they’ve shared together; their endless talks, the many things he’s taught her, his encouragement and appreciation of her art. Even the damn tiger cub he’s taken as his ‘pet’ and has grown fond of.

And it’s hard to believe it’s merely been a month or so, and still, she surprisingly feels so strongly about seeing him one last time. I still have his picture. If I were to go—and that’s if—I’d want to at the very least do that first.

All of it goes without counting the rest of the friends she’s made along the way, such as the kindhearted Kojuro, the hardworking Date scouts, the sweet Mitsunari—and who’s going to bring him breakfast in the mornings and help him out on getting a healthier schedule if she’s not around?—the ever-worrier Hideyoshi, the sly Mitsuhide. She’s even grown attached to Ieyasu, that grouchy porcupine, and has stopped to mind so much on playing Scheherazade and fan dancing with Nobunaga on eventual nights.  

“Look, there’s something I must insist upon, and that is we’re both lucky I found you first.” He seems to hesitate at first, but then stretches to touch her shaking wrist, “But as much as I’ll understand if you want to stay here, my boss won’t take it lightly if you did. And my other boss…” Despite Sasuke’s stoic face, the conflict is very clear in his eyes, “I just can’t assure you either of them will back down at this point. Do you get this?”

She’s not that stubborn as to not believe that—and Sasuke might literally be the only diplomatic approach she’ll ever have on the matter. But would Kenshin Uesugi or Shingen Takeda truly go through other more direct means merely to get their hands on a fake Princess like her?

Unless they truly believe I am one. But even so, is that enough reason for either of them wanting to get to me?  

“Yeah, clearly it means danger,” Mai nods, “But Sasuke, but I just don’t know if I really can—“

A frighteningly familiar sound interrupts her—cold, metallic, all but announcing trouble. Which it does as, a moment later, bright steel pierces the paper wall, missing her head by a couple of inches.

“Wha—!“

“Mai! Watch out!”

The glint of it makes it too clear. Sword! That’s a sword!

The blade finishes its thrust forward, ending several inches past where Sasuke’s throat had been. After harshly pulling her aside, he sets on his feet, and there’s a cut no thicker than a hair on his neck. She manages to scramble away from the wall, getting a clear look at the blade that had nearly impaled Sasuke.

Stuck through the paper, its edge shimmers menacingly in the candlelight. “What’s the matter? No good women in Echigo? You have to come here and try to steal ours?”

As the sword slides back from view, she recognizes the voice all too well.

Oh gods. I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.

[pcttrailsidereader]

How an App Made Hiking Easier (perhaps too easy)

An excerpt from Taylor Gee’s article in The Guardian examining the unintended consequences of Guthook Guides’ maps that have made outdoor adventures far less wild.  I must admit being old school myself and even feel sometimes that all of the information on Halfmile’s maps makes me feel a bit lazy.  Guthook Guides’ seems, at times, to remove the mystery from the trail.  What’s your reaction to Gee’s critique?

In March 2012, the Pacific Crest Trail changed for good when Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild, about her 1995 thru-hike of the trail, hit shelves and quickly became a New York Times bestseller. [Between the book and the movie] from 2013 to 2018, PCT applications nearly quadrupled.

But Wild wasn’t the only thing that transformed the trail that March. The same month, a thru-hiker named Ryan Linn quietly released an iPhone application called Guthook Guides. It took the entire set of tools needed for thru-hiking – a map, compass, guidebook and water reports – and consolidated them into a single virtual location. It functioned offline and crowdsourced updated information about trail conditions and campsites when online. Such an app might have been inevitable, but for ultralight-obsessed thru-hikers, it was a revolution.

Linn’s timing couldn’t have been more perfect. In the last three years, the app has been downloaded 337,000 times, and in 2018, a survey of 500 PCT hikers found that 85% used the app. What started in 2010 as a passion project is now a company that employs five people full-time and has mapped more than two dozen long trails around the world.

But as the the app’s empire continues to grow, many thru-hikers worry about its unintended consequences. They see themselves and fellow hikers depending on their phones to decide where to sleep and eat and to discover exactly how far, down to the tenth of a mile, they are from those places. They fear that American thru-hiking, once the ultimate test of self-reliance, is no longer as wild as it once was.

While attending Vassar College in 2002, Linn joined an outdoors club. The upperclassmen decided that the new recruits needed intimidating nicknames. One day, Linn and two other club members were driving past a hunting and fishing store and pulled over to wander the aisles for inspiration. Linn became “Guthook”, and it stuck through college and afterward, when he hiked the AT in 2007 and the PCT in 2010.

It was while hiking the PCT that Linn met Paul Bodnar, a guidebook author who was collecting GPS data on trail with the intent of updating a PCT guide he had published in 2009. In the era of “there should be an app for that”, it didn’t take long for the two to start talking about what a smartphone-based guide would look like. “We figured it would be something for us to do on the side, in between seasonal work,” says Linn, who since college had been doing various trail-crew and outdoor-education jobs.

After they finished their hike, Linn spent the next year and a half using the GPS data Bodnar had collected to create the first version of Guthook Guides, learning to code as he went. Visually, the app looks similar to the paper topographical maps hikers have used for decades. Virtual icons along the trail designate campsites, water sources, intersecting roads, and trail-town information. But unlike paper maps, Guthook Guides is GPS-enabled, and users can click on an icon to learn more or add a comment. The ability to leave comments, in particular, made Guthook Guides more than a guidebook. Hikers could tell other users whether a water source had gone dry, the quality of a campsite, and the friendliness of local businesses.

After the 2012 release, the app made just enough money for Linn to pay a friend to collect data while hiking the AT in 2013. (The app is free to download, but users must purchase guides for each trail.) The AT guide was released the next year. In 2015, Guthook Guides became available on Android phones. By then, Linn and Bodnar, the app’s co-creators, understood that Guthook Guides was no longer a side project. They went all in.

A sense of surviving in the wilderness is a major reason why a 2,000-mile hike is more than just a feat of athleticism. Taking a wrong turn, getting lost, navigating back – all that misadventure and the intellectual challenge of sorting it out makes for better stories than does walking in a straight line dictated by an app. Yet thru-hiking the PCT last year, I had to stop myself from checking the Guthook app as often as every hour. At one point, my hiking partner even instituted a no-Guthook rule, with the hope that we’d reclaim some sense of agency over our endeavor. Our self-imposed app ban didn’t last, because pretending we didn’t have this all-knowing resource in our pockets felt somehow inauthentic. Especially when most everyone else on trail was embracing it as reality.

It’s hard to overstate the impact that Guthook has had on the experience of thru-hiking. I talked to nearly a dozen hikers and trail managers who all seemed simultaneously concerned that the app enables hikers to lose self-reliance and awareness of their surroundings but couldn’t deny its supreme usefulness.

[PCT hiker Eric] Lee compares the impact of Guthook Guides to what Google Maps has done for driving. “We no longer have to think about landmarks and turns and street names. We just type our address into the phone and press go,” he says, noting that it undoubtedly makes thru-hiking an easier, more stress-free experience. But because of the app, he sees more hikers today who are not as viscerally connected to the trail. “They’re walking from waypoint to waypoint. It’s just a set of numbers.”

This effect has led to some pushback against the app. “I’ve encouraged people to not use it,” says Lucas Weaver, a 29-year-old fiber-optic technician who used Guthook Guides while hiking the Continental Divide Trail last year. “I’m not saying don’t get it, I’m saying don’t let it dictate, don’t rely on it.” Weaver is glad he hadn’t yet downloaded the app when he hiked the AT in 2015. “Being out there without any guide or technology makes it more adventurous,” he says.

The app’s popularity has coincided with the use of phones creeping into trails more generally. Now hikers have Instagram accounts to update with selfies, blogs to write, and loved ones to keep in touch with.

Sometimes use of the app enters into the absurd. “We came across many hikers who would use the app to the point they would lose common sense,” says Jen Nicholson, a 29-year-old physical therapist who also thru-hiked the Continental Divide Trail last year. She recalls hikers who insisted on walking five feet off to the side of the trail because their GPS told them that’s where the path was.

Then there are the stories of hikers relying on trail apps who lose or break their phones or even just run out of battery. For those who forgo paper backup maps to save weight (I was guilty of this myself), a dead phone makes getting lost more frightening than thrilling. Rachel Brown, membership-services manager for the Continental Divide Trail Coalition, recalls encountering this multiple times when hiking the trail in 2015. A friend of hers lost her phone, spent hours searching for it, didn’t find it, and had no backup maps. “She ended up camping out at a really confusing trail junction for three days until somebody else came,” Brown says. Another time, Brown hiked with a man who dropped his phone into a creek. “He ended up sticking like glue to my partner and me,” she recalls. “It was a little frustrating for us, because it kind of felt like we were babysitting. He was always there.”

Perhaps most telling is Guthook’s own experience. Last summer on a backpacking trip, Linn found he had drifted off of a poorly marked trail. “I stopped, and I was about to grab my phone,” says Linn. “Now I have to really consciously tell myself, ‘No, no, no. You just noticed you’re off the trail, go and find it.’” Linn is thoughtful about how his app has affected life on trails. “There are downsides to every new technology in the wilderness,” he admits. “Probably people are using Guthook a little more than I would have wanted.”

For all the good and the bad attributable to Guthook Guides, the consensus is things are just different now. In 2003, Eric Lee accidentally turned off the PCT and hours later ran into another hiker who told him he was going the wrong way. Lee didn’t believe him. “We brought out paper maps and discussed it for 15 minutes” before the other hiker convinced Lee of the truth. Back then that was part of the experience, and maybe even charm, of the trail. “Today that would never happen,” says Lee. “But I’m OK with that.”

[wind-in-the-weirwoods]

Knight-Errant

I’ve somehow gone over the 500 follower mark on this Jonsa sideblog and I’m thankful for every one of you. This community is wholesome as hell and really helps get through the slog of my personal life

To that end, here’s the rough draft of an AU fic I’m working on where Ser Barristan Selmy went North instead of East, looking to escape assassination attempts and serve the realm by exchanging his white cloak for a black one (the irony is not lost on him). The continuity I’m working with is a combination of book and show elements, things that make sense to me personally, and ofc shades of Jonsa (which I believe is canon but we’re not there yet folks) so please don’t think too hard about timelines and contradictions and such

I’ve got about seven chapters in various states of readiness but this is the one I think will most appeal to anybody seeing this post. It’s a fun project to work on and I’ll keep plugging away until it’s ready to be put on AO3 when all is said and done. I want to emphasize that this is a rough draft (I wrote it in about an hour before posting it here after noticing my followers count went over 500 and started yelling) so there are totally some typos and what have you going on

Anyway check it out I hope you enjoy it

A single horn blast rang through the courtyard. Arstan Whitebeard set his mouth in a firm line and stepped outside to watch the gates open. The big, oak doors had just been repaired from the giant’s break-in that morning and creaked open achingly slow.

Arstan stared down at the horses and riders as they entered. It was as an odd a grouping as he’d ever seen – a straw-haired knight in battered armor, a squire in what looked like faded Lannister red, and a tall girl in grey just behind them. They coaxed their horses into the courtyard warily, looking around at the men of the Watch and wildlings that crowded Castle Black.

Snow fell gently but persistently. Old wooden boards creaked beneath Arstan’s boots as Dolorous Edd and Jon Snow joined him on the balcony. They hadn’t expected any wandering crows or supplies caravans. These newcomers didn’t have the look of messengers.

Edd tapped his gloved fingers nervously on the bannister, but Arstan noticed Snow had gone oddly still. His eyes rose to the young man’s face and saw him staring intently at the three arrivals.

Snow shuddered and hurried to the stairs, wordless. Arstan and Edd were just a step behind him, brows furrowed. What was this?

Tormund gaped open-mouthed as the knight dismounted and helped the lady down. They turned to face Snow at the bottom of the stairs and Arstan started – he knew them. That was no knight, but the lady of Tarth. Her skill at arms in touneys had reached him in King’s Landing. Her squire was familiar but he couldn’t place the boy’s face.

The girl in grey was Ned Stark’s daughter. Taller than Arstan had last seen her, but he remembered her from the last weeks of his service at the capital. Arstan felt his face pale and hoped his beard was enough to keep him from being recognized. Surely he would not be found out after all this time?

Arstan’s gaze flickered from the girl and back to Snow, who had paused at the foot of the stairs still as a statue. Stark’s daughter swallowed uneasily, eyes only for Snow. Her bastard half-brother, Arstan realized. The snowflakes whirled gently between them.

Stark’s daughter – what was her name? – hesitantly stepped forward, timid. Snow mirrored her, arms loose at his sides. Then she lurched forward, mouth opening into a wordless cry. Snow rushed ahead and she leapt into his arms as they embraced.

They stood there, reunited. Arstan numbly thought that Snow hadn’t have expected to see his family again since joining the Watch; what misfortunate had brought the Stark girl here? They still stood there before the befuddled onlookers, quietly rejoicing. The lady of Tarth bowed her head in relief. Tormund was still gawking at the her in her armor.

After a long moment the two Starklings broke their embrace. Snow shouted for firewood and blankets; Edd waved at the gatekeeper to close the doors. Ser Davos ran over from across the courtyard, arms beckoning in question.

Arstan followed them back up the stairs but stopped outside the hall to give them some privacy. What had just happened?

***

He didn’t find out until the next morning when they broke their fast. Snow and Stark’s daughter gathered at a table in the mess hall with Edd, Davos, Tormund, and Brienne, the lady of Tarth. Arstan stood at the doorway as they broke bread and talked.

The tale the Stark girl – Sansa, her name was – told was hard to hear. She did not linger on the abuse she’d suffered from Lannisters and Boltons and Littlefinger but Arstan noticed Snow’s shoulders tighten. She’d won her freedom with the help of a dead man, and Brienne led her safely here.

Someone knocked hurriedly at the door. Arstan turned unbidden and opened it, a hand passively resting at the hilt of his sword. One of the stewards waited outside in the cold, scroll in hand. Outside a grim-faced Bolton man waited patiently on a dark horse.

Arstan’s face was a mask as he took the scroll, nodded to the steward, then shut the door and crossed the room.

“Letter for you, Lord Commander,” Arstan murmured. Snow turned, sighed, and accepted the scroll with a pink wax seal. Sansa’s mountain lake-blue eyes lingered on Arstan’s face before turning down to the message.

“I’m not Lord Commander anymore.”

Arstan stepped back to resume his watch near the doorway. Snow broke the seal and looked the letter over silently.

Sansa’s eyes flickered up at Arstan again and returned to Snow. The old knight felt his blood run cold. Snow snatched the message up roughly and bowed his head, breathing deeply.

“To the traitor and bastard Jon Snow. You allowed thousands of wildlings past the Wall. You have betrayed your own kind. You have betrayed the North. Winterfell is mine, bastard.” Snow paused, breathed, and read again. “Come and see. Your brother Rickon is in my dungeon.”

At that Snow started. His eyes lifted to meet his half-sister’s and he continued, “His direwolf’s skin is on my floor. Come and see. I want my bride back.” Snow did not change his tone. “Send her to me, bastard, and I will not trouble you or your wildling lovers. Keep her from me and I will ride north and slaughter every wildling man, woman, and babe living under your protection.”

Tormund grunted and shifted his weight, staring down at Snow to gauge his reaction. “You will watch as I skin them living.” Snow scanned the next line, began to read it, and stopped, staring at his half-sister. Sansa stared back at her half-brother and reached across the table steadily, taking the letter for herself.

She began to read. “You will watch as my soldiers take turns raping your sister. You will watch as my dogs devour your wild little brother. Then I will spoon your eyes from their sockets and let my dogs do the rest. Come and see.

“Ramsay Bolton, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North.”

The table broke out in discussion. They spoke all at once about the Bolton bastard’s succession, how many fighters the wildlings had, and whether any of the surviving Stark bannermen remembered their oaths. Whether the message even spoke truly.

Sansa’s hand shot across the table and seized Snow’s, pulling him towards her inexorably. Snow froze, eyes wide. Arstan himself was taken aback by the gesture.

Her tone was steely as her eyes pierced into Snow’s. “You’re the son of the last true Warden of the North. Northern families are loyal.” Her knuckles whitened around Snow’s fist. “They’ll fight for you if you ask.” She breathed quickly, licking her lips, and she continued to implore him. “A monster has taken our home and our brother. We have to go back to Winterfell and save them both.”

Snow still sat hunched over the table, eyes the size of dinner plates. He nodded.

Sansa did not let go of his hand as she turned to Tormund. “You’ll help us?”

The big wildling scoffed in response, eyes burning. Ser Davos and Brienne were spoken for. Edd sat on the bench alone, defeated. He had no dog in this fight. The Watch took no part.

Sansa looked up over Snow’s shoulder, eyes searching for Arstan. He frowned, throat dry.

“Will you ride with us, ser?”

Edd jumped and Snow jerked in his seat, eyes questioning.

Sansa surveyed them both in surprise. She hadn’t expected that reaction. “They don’t know?”

Arstan took a moment to respond. His shoulders slumped, and he answered in a low voice, “They don’t, my lady. I left that all behind me.”

“I remember you,” Sansa said slowly, gently, “when you were dismissed.” Her stern face turned to a small frown. “They were awful to you. I’m sorry I said nothing against it.”

It was an ugly memory. He didn’t remember her standing amongst the courtiers before storming out, but the girl spoke truly. “It wasn’t your place to defend me, my lady.”

“I should have still done something. Have you taken your oaths truly?”

Snow’s eyes danced back and forth in thought. Edd interrupted them, “Arstan swore his service to the Night’s Watch, same as me. But not as a knight. You’re anointed?”

“I was shamed,” Arstan answered quietly, “and a wanted fugitive. I didn’t want goldcloaks or knives in the dark bothering the Watch.”

Snow entered the conversation. “Arstan swore to serve the watch. If you’re not Arstan then who are you, truly, ser?”

The old knight thought hard, memory reaching back days and months and across the years. There lay Snow in a drift, ruby-red blood fallen and pooling where he’d found him. Ruby-red blood spattered on his breastplate from dragging Robert away from the dying boar. Loose rubies in the bubbling Red Ford around the ruin of a prince he’d sworn to protect. A white cloak and silver sword thrown down in anguish and fury before the Iron Throne, the same spot where an atrocity in ruby-red cloaks had been offered.

He’d failed before. He wouldn’t fail again. Robert and Rhaegar and the children were gone, there was no saving them. But here was his saving. A knight was nothing without a lord to serve, and any man would have loved to serve Lord Stark. The blood rushed back into his face and he felt hot despite the cold outside. Lord Stark’s children needed a knight to serve them.

He knelt and they stood, Sansa walking around the table and bewildered Edd and Tormund. He bowed his head and spoke confidently, earnestly.

“I am Ser Barristan of House Selmy, formerly of the Kingsguard.” Someone muttered Barristan the Bold in shock and he ignored it. “Dismissed by King Joffrey Baratheon, fugitive of his justice.”

Barristan looked up at the Starklings. Sansa was graceful, eyes dancing. Snow was dark, still processing the revelation. Barristan unsheathed his sword and offered it hilt-first. Snow took it uneasily and Barristan thought of the same trepidation Rhaegar had worn when he’d first sworn his service. He said the same words again.

“Lady Sansa,” he began, then added gently, “Lord Snow, I offer you my service. I will shield your backs and keep your counsel and give my life for yours, if need be. I swear it by the old gods and the new.”

Snow was hesitant and unsure. He’d never been taught the words. Sansa spoke surely, “And I vow that you will always have a place by my hearth and mead at my table.” Her mouth set in a hard, thin line. “And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the old gods and the new.” She turned to Snow and beckoned him forward. He returned the sword and grasped the knight’s forearm, lifting him to his feet

“Arise, Ser Barristan. We welcome your service.”

[anshitachoudhury]

Technical review of Intel 11th-Gen Core i9-11900K and Core i5-11600K

Intel’s 11th Gen Core S-series desktop processors, code-named Rocket Lake-S are now in the wild. I was sent an Intel Core i9-11900K and a Core i5-11600K so I could put them through their paces. Intel also supplied an ASUS Republic of Gamers Maximus XIII Hero motherboard with the new Z590 chipset to test the new CPUs.

Intel’s 11th Gen CPUs still utilise 14nm silicon the same as their predecessors. As with the 9th and 10th generation of Intel CPUs, the Rocket Lake chips use an LGA 1200 socket. Except for the H410 and B460-based boards, they are also compatible with last year’s 400-series chipset motherboards (subject to bios updates). This means that you can likely slot a new i5 or i9 in as a replacement for your 10th Gen CPU. But should you?

The “K” suffix denotes that the CPU is unlocked and suitable for overclocking. There’s a premium for this over the locked version of the CPU over the regular version. The KH versions of the chips are the same as the K versions but without the Intel Xe-LP-based UHD integrated GPU. There’s some money to be saved if you are not interested in overclocking or the on-board graphics capabilities.

Whilst owners of select 400-series motherboards can run Intel’s Rocket Lake CPUs, to get the very best out of them, you’ll likely be looking to pair them with a motherboard boasting Intel’s new 500-series chipset. You really can’t beat ASUS motherboards and the Z590 ROG Maximus XIII Hero is no exception. Whilst in the past I’ve had issues with them, that was a long time ago. Nowadays ASUS produces motherboards that are both virtually plug and play, but also feature the advanced settings required of seasoned overclockers and PC tinkerers. The easy-to-use UEFI BIOS menu puts control of the inner workings of a PC right at hand. AI overclocking can still give mixed results, but for most will give a performance boost without much in the way of overclocking knowledge, but more on that later.

The big selling points of the ASUS Z590 board are native PCIe 4.0 support, 2x Thunderbolt 4 (USB Type-C) ports, and a header for a front USB USB 3.2 Gen 2×2, as well as Wi-Fi 6E. It’s also got two m.2 slots running at PCIe 4.0 x4 and another two running PCIe 4.0 x4. Setup was relatively painless, with the Asus motherboard pretty much self-configuring to the 11th Generation processors. I tested both the CPUs using Passmark’s Performance Test software (CPU only), Cinebench R23, 3DMark (CPU score only) and the Blender benchmark. I didn’t check any games, as they only really benchmark the GPU performance.

The benchmark results were all rather predictable showing notable gains for the i9-11900K over last year’s i9-10900K, with the more modest Core i5-11600K doing a good of catching up, at the rear. I was surprised to see the Core i5 11600K beat the i9-10900K in all but one of the Blench benchmarks. The i5-111600K performed will in the single-core Cinebench test as well, again beating the i9-10900K. Interestingly, for the i9-11900K, Intel has dropped the core count from the ten of the i9-10900K to only eight. This is likely a limitation of the 14nm fabrication process. Even so, the 11th Gen i9 beat the 10th Gen i9 15226 to 14043 in the Cinebench R23 multi-core test.

The Core i9-11900K base clock rate is 3.5GHz with an all-core turbo of 4.8 GHz and a max boost via turbo Boost 3.0 to 5.2GHz. The Core i5-11600K has a base clock rate of 3.90 GHz with an all-core turbo of 4.6 GHz and a max boost of 4.90 GHz. Realistically, this means that providing the CPUs are running at less than 70 degrees C, for two cores you may see that max boost (utilising Intel Thermal Velocity Boost), but as soon as there are more than two active cores the frequency will reduce (across all active cores) to 4.8 GHz for the i9 and 4.6 GHz for the six-core i5.

Stress testing both CPUs, I managed to get the i9 to 5.1 GHz but suffered some thermal throttling. It’s a warm chip like its predecessor. I was using a 2x120mm AIO cooler, nothing flash, so I wasn’t too surprised by this. It would be good, however, if Intel were a little clearer and realistic with their marketing, though. With some tweaking, I’ll likely be able to get more out of i9, but that’s outside the scope of this review. The i5 boosted to 4.90 GHz without issue.

Both the CPUs also have native support for DDR4-3200 memory. With a 500-Series motherboard, they support up to 20 CPU lanes of PCIe 4.0. A motherboard with an Intel 500-series chipset, once equipped with an 11th Gen Intel CPU, unlocks the PCIe 4.0 x4 M.2 socket (one of four M.2 sockets on the ROG Maximus board). I was able to install a WD_Black SN850 NVMe SSD and get a rather spectacular 6966.76 MB/s Read and a 5368.31 MB/s write speed. Compare this to the rather pedestrian 130 MB/s read and 65 MB/s write for a regular hard disk. I did have a little dabble with the ASUS AI overclocking tool accessible from the Maximus XII motherboard bios. I’ve had a lot of success carrying out quick and nasty overclocks using earlier iterations of this tool. Despite running the Intel Extreme Performance tool to train it, the Asus board’s AI overclocking decided that for the i9 11900K a 51% overclock was in order. This proved unstable and in need of a bit more messing about than I had time for. I’m sure I can get a stable OC, but perhaps not 51% with a moderate AIO cooler. The i5’s AI overclock was a more modest 31%, but still not stable. I’m not saying that overclocking is out of the question with these CPUs, but a better cooler or some fan adjustments may be needed.

The on-board UHD 750 GPU, whilst not in the same league as a discreet gaming graphics card like an RTX 3070, is not bad if you are not interested in hardcore gaming. The UHD 750 scored a very modest 635 graphics score in 3D Mark Timespy compared to the score of 3724 with a five-year-old GTX 1060 GPU. In theory, though, you could play something like Battlefield V, but I wouldn’t expect to be able to get much more than 30 fps out of it, even with the graphics turned down. For something like Photoshop or even video editing software, you should be able to get by with the UHD 750, if not exactly the optimal experience. More demanding graphics applications really need a dedicated graphics solution.  If you have no need for the integrated graphics, getting the KF version of the CPU, that has no on-board GPU, will save you 50 bucks or so.

With an RTX 2080 Ti plus a Gen 4 WD_Black SN850 NVMe SDD in the motherboard, Passmark gave both the i5 and i9 configurations a 99-percentile result, putting them in the top 1% of machines tested. This is something that’s not to be sneezed at. Whilst this is all very exciting stuff, as a consumer, I can’t help but think that this technology is being deliberately trickled out to fuel an annual iteration of motherboards with noteworthy if moderate, enhancements.

To be honest there’s nothing here that says that the average PC user needs to replace their computer more frequently than every five years. Even PC gamers should be OK for three years, with only the most dedicated requiring an upgrade every two years. Apart from bragging rights, there is no need to upgrade your PC components annually.

Intel’s 11th-Gen CPUs and the Z500-series chipset are engineered to offer enough to differentiate between last year’s PC models and this year’s. If you are in the market for a new PC the Z590’s connectivity alone, especially the native PCIe 4.0, is worth the investment. But, if you are still rocking a Z490 and a 10th-Gen CPU, you are not really going to get the bang for your buck.

There’s no doubt that both the Intel Core i9-11900K and Core i5-11600K are fantastic CPUs if only a modest upgrade from last year’s components. I’d say that the i9 is reserved for enthusiasts, with the i5 being more suited to general PC tasks and even high-end gaming. Nevertheless, if only for the benefits of the 500-series motherboard chipset opened up by the 11th Gen, these are the CPUs for those that want the best desktop solutions that Intel has to offer.

[bforbookslut]

Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings’ Zenith Is a Space Adventure With a Familiar Story and Tropes

I have given Zenith by Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings a ☆☆☆ rating. It is Book 1 of The Androma Saga series. It is Young Adult Science Fiction with some Space Opera and Romance. Harlequin Teen publishes it. It will be published January 16, 2018.

The synopsis reads:

Most know Androma Racella as the Bloody Baroness, a powerful mercenary whose reign of terror stretches across the Mirabel Galaxy. To those aboard her glass starship, Marauder, however, she's just Andi, their friend and fearless leader. But when a routine mission goes awry, the Marauder's all-girl crew is tested as they find themselves in a treacherous situation and at the mercy of a sadistic bounty hunter from Andi's past. Meanwhile, across the galaxy, a ruthless ruler waits in the shadows of the planet Xen Ptera, biding her time to exact revenge for the destruction of her people. The pieces of her deadly plan are about to fall into place, unleashing a plot that will tear Mirabel in two. Andi and her crew embark on a dangerous, soul-testing journey that could restore order to their shipor just as easily start a war that will devour worlds. As the Marauder hurtles toward the unknown, and Mirabel hangs in the balance, the only certainty is that in a galaxy run on lies and illusion, no one can be trusted.

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I haven’t been this early for a review in a really long time but I was super excited to read Zenith ever since I received it. I’ve always loved space stories because if I wasn’t a writer, I’d love to be an astronaut. Or marine biologist. Or historian. Maybe librarian. You get the gist, I love to be a lot of things.

But, you’re in for a wild ride with Zenith. You either love it or hate it.

I haven’t written a review this long in a while so bear with me.

As always, my reviews may contain spoilers. I say may because what’s a spoiler to you may not be a spoiler for me.

Oh boy, is this a difficult one for me to review. My review process is this: I finish a book, I sit on it for a few days and then head over to Goodreads to get a refresher. Usually, it’s a good thing because it reminds me of things I want to mention but have forgotten. But with Zenith, it opened a massive can of worms I wish I had never seen.

Initially, Zenith was going to be one of my 4-star rating books. It turns out, I’m the perfect audience for it. I love damaged and fucked-up characters falling in love and I love all the drama. I went into Zenith expecting a soap opera/drama and I got it.

But after reading Goodreads and learning all I can about the background of this book, it’s dropped to a 3-stars. I don’t hate it. Zenith is not a bad book but it’s not good either. Did it blow me away? No. But, hell it was entertaining.

So, this review will be different than normal and split into 2 parts: first impressions and after goodreads.

F I R S T  I M P R E S S I O N S

I have never read a space opera before. I even had to Google what the genre is all about. And I loved what I found. As you probably know, I am a massive fan of Defy the Stars by Claudia Gray and until another mindblowing book comes along, that’s what I recommend whenever anyone asks me. And I expected Zenith to be something similar but more, for lack of a better term, extra.

And I loved it. I couldn’t put it down. It kept me up late at night and my eyes are probably rotten because I keep reading in the dark. I didn’t even realise it was 500 pages (cause my Kindle app doesn’t tell me so). It was dark and it was sensual, the writing clichés which some people might not like, were lyrical and poetic. The imagery spun was stunning.

Plot-wise, Zenith went in a multitude of directions. There’s the Androma, Dex and the Marauders plotline where the former two have to rescue the king’s prisoner son in the treacherous lands of Lord-I-can’t-remember (I’m not good with names here. I can’t even name you anything in Maas’s books because I never remember), but basically, they’re the bad guys. And then there’s the flashbacks (??!!) which are confusing but I just rolled with it. And then, there’s the evil queen of the bad lands who isn’t all that bad (or at least that’s what they want us to think) who wants revenge on the entire solar system for fucking up her kingdom and her parents’ lives and her life.

The Androma, Dex and Marauders line is resolved and then some. But the others just leave big question marks hanging in the air. But then again, Order of the Firsts, guys. It’s always like this because publishers want you coming back for more cause all they care about is the money.

Plus, they are all told in different POVs which can get confusing but it wasn’t a hard switch. It’s such a way of writing in YA that I’m used to it. I wish we could still get by on one voice only. I miss those damned days.

But to me, the characters make a story and I loved the Bloody Baroness. She’s dramatic and always very weepy and conflicted but oh, she’s so attracted to Dex. Let it just be clear that she’s very much like a copy of Celaena/Aelin but without the latter’s depth. She’s got death following her and her crew of pirates wherever they go and she’s torn up about it. Some people have an issue with the fact that she’s called something so vicious but is just a kicked puppy. But come on, this is a trope we’ve all seen before. Move along, shall we?

But, I did find it a little strange that although she hates killing, she kills everyone left, right and center in the name of protecting herself and her crew. Plus, she’s a fugitive.

Really weird and conflicting but at this point, I’m still rolling with it.

Dex is an arrogant prick. And while it’s my favourite trope when it comes to YA heroes, they usually come with some redeeming qualities. Dex has none. In fact, I’d say that I didn’t like Dex at all. He’s the perfect example of how not to write a YA hero.

And, the romance between Androma and Dex seemed incredibly forced. No chemistry. Just loads of trying-really-hard-to-create-UST.

The rest of the characters in Zenith sort of fade into the background. There are the Marauders which are very Six of Crows-esque, and the evil queen, Nor and there’s Valen, the prince they’re supposed to rescue. And a robot named Alfie that reminds me of Defy the Stars.

While Zenith attempts to fashion a unique space world, it feels too much like Guardians of the Galaxy and that bothered me about the worldbuilding. It didn’t feel utterly unique (unlike Defy the Stars. You can’t stop my love) and the entire time, all I could imagine was Peter Quill’s ship flying across the Guardians of the Galaxy space ala the movies. While there are references to unique “alien” features for example, in the pilot, Lira who has scaly skin that can heat until it burns her clothes off and it’s controlled by her emotions, nothing is taken a step further and explained.

And space opera and science-fiction are known for being detail-oriented.

But I still loved it. In all it’s campy, trying really hard glory. I thought it was a great first attempt and couldn’t wait for me.

A F T E R  G O O D R E A D S

And then, I looked at Goodreads.

I was confused by all the awful ratings. And it spiralled from there.

It turns out Sasha Alsberg is a notoriously famous booktuber (I wouldn’t know. I don’t booktube) and people are concerned that this book being published is because of her connections to the higher ups.

But more than that, the editor tied to Zenith is notorious for having published The Black Witch. Which is a plague on the YA community. I don’t understand how….how could anyone have let that racist crap slide.

And it was only after this that I realised what I had thought to be extra, dramatic and campy writing ala soap opera style was just bad writing. In fact, one reason why I loved the writing so much was because it’s the same time of exaggerated and flowery writing that fanfiction writers love (and readers like me eat it up).

Plus, it tried too hard to replicate the success of Throne of Glass and Six of Crows, perhaps in the hope of becoming the next big thing. It’s basically fanfiction set in space, guys. While I am the type of market this book is targeted towards, meaning that I love my tropes, it’s just laughable. There are tons of books out there like TOG and SOC but they’re all unique in their own way. I’ve even managed to reference Defy the Stars more than once!

Not to mention, Androma has red.hair. Who else has fiery red hair? You tell me. Hint, I’ve mentioned the name several times in this review. Not a fan of self-inserts.

Also, I am not a fan of celebrity books and have yet to purchase/read one. While other writers struggle and work their butts off to even get noticed, celebrities get special treatment because they already have a fan base in place.

While I am still looking forward to see where both authors are going to take Zenith, I wait with all these thoughts in my mind. In film classes, we are taught that the author is not separate from his work (and I did a lovely paper on Alfred Hitchcock which I loved) and it’s true in this case.

I’m afraid that Sasha’s reputation has coloured not just my opinion, but the opinion of many other readers out there.

While Zenith is not bad, it’s not great either. I can’t shout about it from the rooftops. For one, it reads too much like fanfiction (and we all know the kind of fanfiction turn book that has hit the market these days) and secondly, it needs a shitload more work before it’s public-worthy. Zenith has great potential. It just needs a lot more polishing, preferably throwing the entire draft away and writing it fresh. And perhaps, Sasha should consider a pen name.

Thank you to Edelweiss and the publisher for providing me with an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review. This review edition may differ from the final edition.

[tamboradventure]

13 Cool Things to Do in South Africa

Posted: 03/2/20 | March 2nd, 2020

South Africa is famous for its stunning landscapes, incredible wildlife, award-winning wineries, beautiful beaches, and its lively and cosmopolitan cities. I’ve been to the country twice and always leave wanting more. There’s something deeply special about this place.

Stretching over 2,800 kilometers (1,700 miles) and home to over 56 million people, you could easily spend months here and still not see everything. Heck, just driving from one end of the country to the other would take several days.

Though there are hundreds of things to see and do in South Africa, here’s a list of what I think are the must-see and must-do activities while you’re here:  

1. Go on a safari

Most people come to South Africa to go on a safari — and for good reason. It’s home to some of the best game drives in the world and you’ll want to spend at least a couple of nights in one of the hundreds of national parks. There’s truly nothing like it.

The most well-known safari destination is Kruger National Park, which has incredible diversity and tons of amazing wildlife, including the “Big Five” (lions, leopards, elephants, rhinoceroses, and Cape buffalo).

I went to Kruger a few years back, and it was everything I’d expected and more. Although you can drive yourself around the park, I actually recommend using a guide because they’ll be much better at spotting animals and will also give you heaps info about them, their habitat, and the park itself. Since this is one of those “once in a lifetime” experiences it’s worth spending the money to get a knowledgeable guide.

While Kruger is the most famous safari destination, there are dozens of other options across South Africa. Here are a few I recommend:

Hluhluwe and iMfolozi National Park – Located in the east of the country and is known for its rhino populations.

Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park – On the border with Botswana in the north, it’s known for its black-maned lions.

Addo Elephant National Park – Near Port Elizabeth on the south coast, this is a great choice for self-drive safaris.

Pilanesburg National Park & Game Reserve – Home to the Big 5 and is doable in a day trip from Johannesburg if you’re short on time.

Safaris are so common in South Africa that pretty much every price point and budget is covered. Accommodation options range from budget-friendly campsites to upscale guesthouses and resorts.  

2. Visit Cape Town

Cape Town is the most popular destination in South Africa — and for good reason. It’s a vibrant, multicultural city with lively bars, delicious food, great weather, lots of nature and hiking nearby. In addition to the city’s amazing beaches, the waterfront is bursting with things to do as well.

There’s a lot to do in the city so check out this entire post I wrote on what to do while you are there!  

3. Go Surfing

Both the Atlantic Ocean and the Indian Ocean coasts of South Africa offer world-class surfing. Jeffrey’s Bay on the south coast near Port Elizabeth is the most famous surfing destination in South Africa and offers big waves and multiple breaks.

There are also a number of good surfing locations near Cape Town, including Dungeons in Hout Bay and a number of others further south on the Western Cape, such as Long Beach.

If you’re a beginner, Durban is a great option for surfing lessons because of the reliable waves and warm water of the Indian Ocean. Expect to pay around 500 ZAR per person for a 2-3 hour lesson.  

4. Learn About Apartheid

You can’t visit South Africa without learning about the horror of apartheid (a system of institutionalized racial segregation), which cast its shadow over the country from the 1940s all the way into the 1990s. Opened in 2001, the Apartheid Museum in Johannesburg does an excellent job of highlighting apartheid’s history and legacy.

While in Johannesburg, be visit the Constitutional Court. It stands on the site of a former political prison and you can tour some of the prison ruins and learn more about the many political prisoners who were unjustly detained here.

Also, be sure to visit the District Six Museum in Cape Town. It’s a memorial to the people who lived in the area in the 1970s who were forced to relocate so that white citizens could move in. It’s both sobering and illuminating.  

7. Visit Robben Island

When it comes to learning about apartheid, you’ll want to also plan a trip to Robben Island. Located just four miles off the coast of Cape Town, Robben Island was a maximum-security prison until 1996. During the apartheid era, many political prisoners were sent to Robben Island. This includes Nelson Mandela, who spent 18 years behind bars on Robben Island. The prison is now a UNESCO World Heritage site and one of the most important cultural sites in the country.

Conditions at the prison were incredibly harsh, with many prisoners forced into hard labor in the limestone quarry. They were also made to sleep on the stone floors of their cells without a bed as well.

Today, former prisoners are tour guides and they shed light on what life was like here during apartheid. You’ll be able to see Mandela’s cell and take a bus ride around the island to see the prisoner’s graveyard as well as the quarry where Mandela and other prisoners were forced to work.

Ferries operate 3 times a day, starting at 9am (a 4th ferry operates during the summer season). Admission is 320 ZAR for adults and 200 ZAR for anyone under 18, which includes the ferry ride. Expect to spend at least four hours here (including the tour and getting to/from the island).  

5. Hike the Drakensberg Mountains

The Drakensberg region near the east coast is home to the highest mountain range in the country, with rugged, green peaks, sandstone cliffs, and deep valleys. There are lots of trails, ranging from casual walks to strenuous climbs and plenty of options for both day hikes and multi-day hikes. Some of the popular routes include the following:

Rainbow Gorge: Easy and beautiful two-hour trail in the Cathedral Peak area.

Ploughman’s Kop: A half-day trail with a steep climb, but beautiful rock pools along the way so you can cool off with a dip.

Chain Ladders Hike: A challenging one-day hike, including ladders attached to the rock face.

Cathedral Peak: Best climbed with a guide, this hike can be split across two days with a night spent camping in a cave to break up the hikes.

Giant’s Cup Trail: Typically done a five-day hike, but not overly strenuous.

  6. See African Penguins

Part of the Table Mountain National Park and a short drive from Cape Town, the Boulders Penguin Colony is home to several thousand African penguins. (Fun fact: they’re also known as jackass penguins, because the noises they make sound like a donkey braying.)

Unfortunately, they’re an endangered species as a result of human impacts like pollution, oil spills, and habitat destruction. For that reason, you aren’t allowed to walk on the beach where the penguins breed but you can watch them from the nearby viewing platforms. There is also a raised boardwalk that starts at the Boulders Visitor Centre which will let you get up close to the penguins. Just keep in mind that they are wild animals and the beach is their home, not yours. Be sure to keep your distance and don’t try to feed them or pet them. As cute as they are, they’re still wild animals.  

8. Take a Road Trip

South Africa is an awesome road trip destination. The most famous route is the Garden Route, which takes you along coastal cliffs and through forests and mountain ranges. Stretching along the south-central coast from Mossel Bay in the west to Storms River in the east, the Garden Route is only around 200km (125 miles) long but is full of beaches, lakes, and lagoons.

If you are feeling adventurous, you can stop at Bloukrans Bridge, the highest bridge in Africa, and go bungee jumping there. Expect to pay around 1,400 ZAR ($95 USD) per person.

The beautiful beaches of Plettenberg Bay on the Indian Ocean are also a worthwhile Garden Route stop.

There are other popular road-trip routes in South Africa, such as the Panorama Route in Mpumalanga, which winds around the Blyde River Canyon, or the Wild Coast route for exploring dramatic coastal landscapes. You can also pick a road-trip route that takes in several national parks, as there are quite a few scattered around the country where you can self-drive through the park to see the wildlife.  

9. Go Wine Tasting

South Africa’s climate is perfect for grape growing and the country produces award-winning white, red, and sparkling wines. The wine industry here dates back to the seventeenth century and there are hundreds of wineries to be found (and sampled of course).

In the Cape Winelands region not far from Cape Town, Stellenbosch has over 150 wineries in a very small area while a bit further away, Franschhoek not only has over 50 vineyards but also some of South Africa’s best restaurants. You can do a wine tour that will take you to several different or you can stay in one for a night or two (many have guest accommodations).

If you don’t have a vehicle and want to take a tour, expect to pay at around 1,000 ZAR per person for a half-day tour of the region and its wineries. Many hostels run their own tours to the region or have partnerships with local tour guides who can take you as well. Be sure to shop around for the best deal!  

10. Explore the Blyde River Canyon Nature Reserve

A frequent stop on the way to or from Kruger, Blyde River Canyon is the third largest canyon in the world. It’s particularly lush and green compared to the Grand Canyon and also has extremely deep, sheer cliffs. There are numerous natural rock formations and other natural features in this UNESCO-listed reserve, including Pinnacle Rock, God’s Window, and Bourke’s Luck Potholes. You can also find ancient rock art in the Echo Caves.

There are several hiking trails as well as abseiling, mountain biking, and white-water rafting.  

11. Go Whale Watching

South Africa is generally considered to be one of the best places in the world to go whale watching. If you’re visiting between June and November you’ll have an excellent chance of spotting Southern right whales, Bryde’s whales, and orcas.

The town of Hermanus, located 120km southeast of Cape Town, is the base for many of the best whale-watching companies in the country. Some reputable companies to check out are:

Southern Right Charters

Hermanus Whale Cruises

Xplora Tours

Expect to pay around 950 ZAR for a two-hour tour. Drinks and snacks are usually included and discounts are often available for students, seniors, and children. be sure to book in advance as tours sell out fast since there is a limited window.  

13. Go Scuba Diving

If you love to dive (or want to learn), head to Cape Town. The diving here is world-class thanks to the mixing of warm and cold ocean currents. Here you’ll find rocky shores, lots of reefs, and kelp forests. There are also lots of wrecks on both sides of the peninsula too.

Expect to pay around 1,450 ZAR for a one-tank dive (including equipment rental) and 6,600 ZAR for your PADI certification if you’re a new diver.

For more wrecks, head to Port Elizabeth (which is on the coast halfway between Cape Town and Durban). There are several interesting wrecks to explore here, including the Haerlem (a scuttled navy frigate) and the Doddington (which wrecked in the 18th century). It’s also a great area for diving with sharks.

For something more unique, visit Port St. Johns to witness the sardine migration. It occurs every June with four miles of water thick with sardines! You can book multi-day diving tours to see the sardines, with most lasting 5-6 days cand costing 30,000 ZAR per person.

Sodwana Bay (on the border with Mozambique) is another top location to see healthy coral reefs as well as lots of fish and marine life.

***

With its perfect weather, incredible wildlife, award-winning wine, and culinary delights, South Africa is an underrated destination that deserves your attention. It’s a country I never get tired of visiting and is one of the most beautiful countries I’ve ever been to. You just can’t help but fall in love with it — no matter your interests.

Book Your Trip to South Africa: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as they consistently return the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it, as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use to save money when I travel — and I think they will help you too!

Looking for more information on visiting South Africa? Check out my in-depth destination guide to South Africa with more tips on what to see and do, costs, ways to save, and much, much more!

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