goodrush

[goodrush]

day 67 Hello it’s Tuesday! E came over for the weekend and we went to cool places to walk around, watched got, ate halo top, and put the finishing touches on the road trip.

Here’s the map of everywhere we’re going for 28 days! I’m beyond excited and we’ve planned out a full day by day itinerary, booked airbnbs and campsites, and mapped out a detailed yet conservative budget. Almost everything that could be planned has been planned, but I’m still nervous! I’ve never seen myself as an athletic or naturey person, even tho I’ve gotten into relatively decent shape through Barry’s (ran a 7:40 mile last week!). I think my previous meh feeling about nature was connected to how wildly out of shape I was, and thus how unenjoyable long walks/hikes ended up being. Because I do enjoy scenery and views. I don’t know, hopefully I just need to shift my perspective.

I also feel like it hasn’t hit me yet that we’re doing this and can probably pull it off. I just have in my head that something, somewhere is going to go horribly wrong. I mean a whole MONTH, I’ve never planned a trip before, let alone one this long. But it’s getting my adrenaline pumping just thinking about it, and I think jumping into the unknown for something like this will be good for me and definitely E as well.

The trip has been occupying my thoughts such that it’s hard for me to focus on anything else. I’m itching to finish my internship at this point, and I’ve been putting off submitting more job application stuff. I want to get a significant portion of it done this week so some things can be squared away before I leave on Sunday, but I also know I’ll probably have to be submitting stuff with E’s computer on the trip.

Some other trip planning highlights: the money transferring has been a mess. Opened up a Charles Schwab brokerage acct as the road trip fund, and trying to move stuff there directly through venmo apparently doesn’t work (took two days of incompetent customer reps to figure this out), so I have to venmo to my chase and then transfer stuff into the fund with my ACH, which takes 3 days to make the funds withdrawable. The debit cards apparently can’t be issued at branches, so had to simultaneously juggle two Schwab reps to make sure I get expedited shipping on it. I booked 5 airbnbs, and my dad’s internalized racism brings him discomfort about 3 of them. So he gave me new places to book (he’s paying for the difference), but my hours of labor have been a grand waste of time. And now he’s being pissy about paying for nightly parking at one of his airbnbs. Dude if you want me to be financially independent, I expect to be plain old independent as well.

Aaaaanyways, work has been slow per usual. I’ve been going to Barry’s ofc, and I’m set to go every day this week to max out my package. Today was rough, my first butt and legs class ever. So much incline. But no incline tomorrow so that’s good! I survived.

I also networked with this woman from last weeks BB event today. She’s nice, and put me in touch with two other ppl. I ALSO grabbed dinner with a recent grad from my sorority who works at a different financial institution. We more just socialized and caught up. She hates her job, and we agree that everyone at college is insane. Lmao.

I’m on the bus now. And when I get home I have to submit video interviews. Wish me luck. Also my computer got a new screen bc my old one was cracked, but now camera doesn’t work, so have to use my clunky desktop for the interviews. Stay tuned on that.

I might be starting a public insta about my trip too. Don’t wanna forget stuff and wanna take good pictures.

[goodrush]

day 61

Hello it's hump day! Just a recap of the past couple days: E's house for the weekend was really relaxing. Chilled at home after spin class and yummy smoothie on Saturday, had dinner with his dad, bro and bros gf. Bro quit his finance job! Crazy lol. Then E and I took a nice walk around his neighborhood and got ice cream. On Sunday I worked out again and got an acai bowl, then hit the beach with E and my parents/grandma (grandma lives nearish E). Got my tan on and swam in freezing ass water. Talked about GoT with my mom and E. then had Thai food w E's dad and bro. Then I went home w my parents bc forgot business suit at home for networking event on Monday. Monday I spent worktime prepping for networking event. Event was interesting, asked a good q courtesy of my moms advice, and got some emails. Hung out w @autonoesis (hit up his finsta for his side of the story) there/after, and ate like magnificent kings during three course restaurant week dinner. Good destresser post event. However, I found out that both this job my moms been tryna get me AND Serbia didn't pan out, which was kind of a bummer. But this means I get to do road trip w E for real! Tuesday I planned a route for said road trip. It should be lit af. I'm proud of it. I'll show you guys the plan when I finalize the trip itinerary, which is started crafting today. Basically It's gonna cover the SE US excluding Florida, and there will be lots of nature and music. I'm super pumped. After work I went to pop physique for a CLASSPASS AND CLINIQUE SPONSORED CLASS. So it was free and there was tons of free shit ie makeup samples water bottles and pressed juice. Super happy w it. Today as I mentioned worked on itinerary at work mainly, but also submitted BB apps. At last haha I've been mentioning it all summer. But should submit the rest of the ones i want tomorrow. Also got my first response from emails to Monday event related networking inquiries. Feeling productive.

[goodrush]

day 56

Helo friends. Today is Friday! Yay. Made some more progress on my competitive analysis at work. My salad was weird today... seems like they a) mixed in my dressing when I wanted it on the side and b) added an additional dressing? A salsa? It looked like green salsa. Truly a mystery. I added some additional calories in my log for it, though. Left work a little early, as I usually do in Friday's, to hit a 5:40 Barry's class. I should've left work earlier tbh. I slipped into the studio just in time for the class to start, and I had to speed walk from work. Anyways, the class was brutal in its own way, because it was only one round. So like 27 min on tread and floor. It's weird bc it's nice how it's only one round, but it's SO fucking long. I was dying towards the end of tread (which I did first thank god), but after a recovery I had enough in me to push through the floor. I was drenched by the end! I'd been carrying a backpack around all day bc I'm taking the train directly out of grand central to E's for the weekend. So after I showered, I grabbed my fuel bar shake and headed out, speed walking to sephora to do my nightly skin routine. Speaking of which, I did a routine there last night that totally cleared up my forehead bumps the next morning, so today I made sure to replicate it. Was in there for maybe 3 minutes, then headed out again to speed walk to grand central (sephora was on the way) in order to catch a 7:34 train. I started bumping kendricks DAMN, which I haven't been able to cohesively listen to, so I'm doing it now. Made it to grand central with perf timing, and I'm on the train now. Pretty lit. Excited to see E soon, and do another spin class tomorrow morning. E and I are gonna cook together too! And I brought my moms work laptop to prep for BB networking. V happy to wrap up the week.

[goodrush]

day 55

Past couple days have been alright. Doing real stuff at work which is good, but tbh sometimes kind of a drag. I’ve started getting used to just chilling on my phone all day hehe.

Yesterday I went to Barry’s but started on the floor, and it wasn’t so bad! I shouldn’t be afraid of that anymore. Barrier broken. I also went to day, same time, same instructor and i like him. In my final sprint of the second round, he looked at me going at a 9 and said “take it to a 9.5”. I was dying but I listened bc he made me want to! I felt good about it.

I’m gonna try my hand at making my own fuel bar shakes at home too. Got my ingredients on Amazon and everything. We’ll see how it goes!

Last night, I saw M, and he seems to be doing well! He kissed a GIRL like a week ago and didn’t tell me until yesterday!! What a dope. We talked for awhile, and he seems to be in a pretty good place. Kissed this girl who’s like his friend, but feeling on the fence about it/her/romantic stuff in general at the moment. Totally over his ex though it seems even tho they still hang out. The x hates me even tho we’ve never met, which deeply entertains me. I like the attention😝

unrelated, but roommate drama re me airbnbing/subletting to ppl blew up sort of last night. One of my roommates and sorority sisters previously told me she'd be away during the time I booked a guy to come stay (she's uncomf w guys and I respect that), bt turns it she ISNT coming back as late as she said, and will be present, and told me I needed to cancel! I was not having it, so I kinda blew up at her and she backtracked/apologized. I feel bad for losing my temper because she's not in the best place right now mentally, but my argument was still valid and she was being unreasonable. She apologized though, and all is relatively well again.

Tomorrow night probably I’m gonna take the train up to E’s again. His mom has left for Israel, but his dad and bro are in the house. Dad had a bad headache (he has cluster headaches) today, so E couldn’t to ubereats or anything, was basically chained to the house all day, which he was bummed about. His aunt (dads sister) came over for dinner/to help out though, so that was nice. Hopefully I can see her this weekend too; she’s super cool. E and I have exciting plans to watch rick and morty and eat halo top (NEW FLAVORS GREEN TEA MOCHI). Looking forward. Might go to the beach too.

[goodrush]

day 53

Hi y'all! This past week was relatively good. Did some two pagers at work, went to a Barry’s rosé event and got a cute shirt out of it. Since the beginning of the summer, I’ve lost 13 pounds! Woo! Onward to more progress.

I did some workout classes in new haven when I was at E’s house over the weekend: shift cycling and polefly barre. Shift was cool; like if soul and fly had a babe. The class style was very soul like, with many a choreographed bike push-up, but on the overhead were all the stats. It was a sweat! PoleFly was super quaint and adorable, no fancy frills like in NYC, but the content was tough! I was sore all weekend.

I also saw E’s parents whom I really love. They’re such nice people and super accommodating of me staying over. E’s mom even made me a protein shake, and made me the couscous that I really like. E and I also saw CS and her boy, E’s old friend for a double date near my high school. It was fun! Side note: E has been having some financial troubles lately, so he's looking for work and just became an ubereats courier! But at this time he hadn't heard back and I paid for his meal because I want to help him out here and there. Anyway, Even tho CS and her boy are apparently in a weird place at the moment. We walked around my old high school campus and through the new building they built while I was gone. Other then that E and I just chilled, went on a cheesy Ferris wheel after walking on a boardwalk (sue me) and watched game of thrones.

On the train ride home from E’s place I listened to the new Lana album, and I’m obsessed. M let’s me use his premium Spotify, so I was blessed by both him and LDR, who is my true and only queen. Highlights include 13 beaches, white mustang, beautiful people beautiful problems, and Coachella on my mind. Such a good project.

I had to do my global entry interview at Newark airport that night, which took like 5 mins. I’m in it now! Woo.

Yesterday, I went to flywheel after work, and then immediately went to a Yankee game with field seats with E and my dad. It was fun even though I don’t rlly get baseball. They did a good job of explaining stuff. And we had field level seats. It was good.

Today I went to work, pop physique and now I’m on the bus home. I conveniently saw my mom on the bus lol. Looking forward to tentative dinner plans with some college friends? Going back up to E’s this weekend and going to the beach for my tan. And restaurant week dinner with @autonoesis post-BB-networking on Monday.

Haven’t heard anything post sending Serbia follow up email… need to figure that out in order to start planning road trip with E.

Things to do: submit job applications (I know ugh), follow back up with JS and sorority sister, and network more in general. And ofc keep losing weight bitches!

[goodrush]

day 45

Hi friends! Sorry for the hiatus but E was here! I was so happy when he arrived I missed him so much. Basically what happened over the next few days was a disproportionate amount of cheat food (including Serafinas al porcini pizza and a macaron), a lot of walking, and a lot of time w my fave guy. He and I would head into the city together. I'd go to work and he'd go to either Starbucks or Subway (he lit goes nowhere else the dope) to get work done. He misses his friends a lot from Rome but they're doing a Latin video group thingy as we speak, so he's keeping in touch. Finished s2 of got, have a long way to go. Went to White Manna on Saturday too; so unhealthy but really nostalgic for me bc my dad would take me there after ice skating as a kid and I wanted to show E. On Saturday after White Manna, E and I then went to a town coffee shop to read together, and I got some yummy green tea gelato. It was really peaceful and nice. He got me a cute little elephant keychain and a beautiful silk scarf from Rome! I also got him some books from the Montclair bookstore; he's already started reading the linguistics one. Overall I had a great time with him. He'll be back on Thursday to see Regina Spektor in concert with me! On Sunday, he and I parted ways and I went to brunch with T and her friend at Momofuku Ma Peche for T's birthday! It was so yummy but got me feeling bleh in my tummy afterward, causing me to vom after the first round at Barry's I did after. It was okay though; not my best work that class but I made it through. After that, I played redbone on repeat as I walked back to PA. My shin splints have really begun to kill me as I run on the tread. My instructor at Barry's that day told me to roll them out, so I'm gonna try to do that at least once a day. Today was Monday and I went into work and finished the thing L gave me. Since I'm running low on Barry's classes, I did Flywheel today which was fun and not terrible like last time. I plan to go again tomorrow, after I get dinner with SW! She's in my sorority at school and went on my spring break trip, and she's super sweet. Excited to go to Tao with her tomorrow. Today is also Duke's my dog's) birthday! He is 13! We're gonna celebrate tonight when I get home.

[goodrush]

day 38

My weekend was so fun! JS and ES are actually the coolest, and I'm so happy I got to catch up with them. First we went to get lunch at Genuine Roadside market, and then we went to JS's trading floor where he works, and then we went to momofuku milk bar, and THEN we went to the MoMA. It was a really fun day. ES and I reminisced about camp, talked about our freshman year for college, and everything in between. She's a doll and I love her so much. JS is also SUCH a nice and sweet guy. He seemed to enjoy spending time with two freshman girls, and he was especially psyched about having his sister visit. It was adorable. JS has a sweet deal. A relatively nice/cheap 3 bed apartment in midtown, and a 10 minute walk to work in Times Square. He was the first person I really knew who did finance as I know it today. So it was lucky that he's just so nice. Some highlights: got the shrimp tacos at genuine roadside, almost lost my sunglasses but they were turned in and I got them back, got cereal milk ice cream at momofuku (SO yummy), and made fun of weird abstract art at the MoMA. None of us understand why Andy warhols Campbell soup is so fucking cool. After we parted ways, I headed to Noho for a Barry's class. It felt fulfilling to do it, even though it was like 5:45pm on a Saturday. After that, went back up to GC to take the train to Milford. My parents had already headed up there by car, and we were all gonna go to beach the next day, Sunday. I slept on the train, and then before I knew it I got off and was picked up by my parents. We took a night walk on the beach, and then headed to my grandmas house to sleep. The next day, we went to the Corner Restaurant in Milford (insanely good brunch). This was my cheat day, I confess, but corner is worth it. I got the tuna Tartare but I stole a decent amount of my dads African Hash. So yummy. After that, my bloated self went to the beach to tan and swim. The water was the perfect temperature, and I read some Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, which has been interesting so far. Except I got cocky w the (lack of) sunscreen, and ended up burning my whole front side pretty much. It's not horrendous, but it's definitely red. Rip me for tryna look cute and tan for E's arrival on Tuesday. Then we went back to gmas house and prepared dinner, ate it, took another beach walk, and headed home. We got home close to midnight, but I didn't really mind. Sometime around 8 that night, E's plane from Rome landed. He was/is a little senti about leaving the friends he made at the program, but he seems (I hope) happy to be back. I sure am; he's coming to see me on Tuesday (tomorrow as I'm writing this)! We FaceTimed on Sunday night when he got home, and then I headed to bed. Today was Monday, and I headed into work again. It was pretty mundane again, but they voluntarily gave me a new CIM to read... I don't know what was up with me but I just didn't. I knew they weren't gonna check anyway, and I think I may be a lil distracted bc of E's imminent arrival. But I did realize that I forgot to get my brows done, so I booked a woman after work, and took a later Barry's class. The woman made my brows too skinny though :( I'm kinda sad about it, but I think they'll grow back, so it's not the end of the world. Barry's was good today! I somehow got this last shot of real adrenaline in the last sprint and hit 10 mph in the treadmill for the first time! So I'm happy about that. After class, I walked back to PA, and now I'm on the bus. So excited to see E!

[goodrush]

day 35

Today was kind of a lot but simultaneously nothing at all. It was really dreary and rainy out so I was already down in the dumps, and then E told me he wasn’t gonna be able to ft tonight because he was going out. We already didn’t talk yesterday, and even though he’s coming home relatively soon, I still felt hurt because he didn’t really suggest another time to talk or make an effort to move anything around to make talking in the foreseeable future work. So I did what we always do in conflicts: talk it out. I stepped away from my desk and we had a phone conversation about how his (lack of) actions made me feel, and he in turn gave some perspective on sacrifices he makes that weren’t obvious to me. We ended up settling on a plan to talk tomorrow; I’m gonna wake up early, and he’s gonna work quickly to finish packing/cleaning. So we’re both compromising to make it work. The conflict itself wasn’t fun, but we worked it out. and he still got to have fun at the bar with his program people!

This talk however, made me slightly late for my phone convo w my trader, and he generally seemed like he was rushing to go somewhere else,,, so I’m not particularly optimistic about our 12 minute convo. When you get unsolicited advice, it’s rarely good lol. Seems like he could be nicer in person though.

But exciting things happening! I reached out to my family friend/camp friends brother JS, originally about grabbing coffee regarding his job at a BB, and he responded saying my camp friend (his sister, ES), is in town! For the real ones out there, I’m in a domestic partnership w her on Facebook. But anyway he invited me to brunch with him and her tomorrow, and I’m so excited! Haven’t seen either of them in at least 3 years. It should be good.

JS ALSO agreed to separately grab a more “work-y” coffee with me in a couple weeks. He’s such a nice guy; I’m really happy I know him!

After this work was really winding down, and I left at 5ish and slipped into a Barry’s class at 5:40. It was hard, but just tried to focus on my breathing the whole time. To be honest, I could’ve kicked more ass during the floor, but I’m pretty happy with my tread performance. Also during the cooldown instructor put on Praying by Kesha which always makes me cry, so I was low key tearing up while stretching my hip flexors.

I got a Fuel Bar shake and then walked to the bus to go home, and listened to all the new Lana singles, and I loooove them. She’s such a queen. But waited for the diddly darn bus for like 20 minutes, which was not cool. Two express buses came and went before the local one I needed😤. But now I am on the bus. And JS, a 25 year old nerdy man, used the verb “brunching”. Can’t wait.

[goodrush]

day 34

Work today was relatively low key, my only task was reading a CIM that R didn't like anyway so whatever lol. My computer was also being odd, but I fixed it. Did pass a few more Candy Crush Soda Saga levels lol. My parents keep telling me to do other more productive shit to pass the time at work, and I don't know why it's so hard for me to do that. Meh. I had the chicken salad again today for lunch, but I actually resisted the bread today. Like I threw it out. Progress! However, I discovered that this salad has 9g of saturated fat, which isn't great. So looks like I can't have it regularly now. I knew there was a catch :/. But no matter, there are plenty of other good salads in the salad sea, as they say. E actually went to bed early tonight. Like, normal person early. Like 11:30. I'm really really proud of him, and I think not facetiming him for a day was worth him getting that early night, and making real progress towards maintaining a healthier sleep schedule. Not the best timing, because he's coming back from Rome in 3 days and has to readjust time difference, but the principle is there and that's what matters more. E if you're reading, I love you and keep it up! I'm listening to Love by LDR on Spotify rn for the first time, and it's so fucking good. Can't wait until lust for life comes out. Gotta listen to the other singles too. After E went to bed, I left work and went to Barry's, and I did well! I finished and pushed through everything. I knew I'd be able to bounce back from Tuesday, and I'm feeling good. Not every day is gonna be perfect, but overall it's only up from here. Thanks @autonoesis for your incredibly supportive message; I thought of it while I was getting my workout done. You're an inspiration!

[goodrush]

day 33

I’m posting about yesterday the morning after! Sorry I forgot last night.

But work yesterday was fine, even though I did practically nothing. I did attend a meeting though, which was kinda interesting. In the morning I ate a Kind bar which I liked. I also had my chopt chicken salad for lunch which was so good. I’ve tried many of their salads at this point, and this one has still reigned the winner. But about work, I guess it is relaxing doing nothing, but at this point it’s getting kind of boring. Maybe after R and L close their deals I can ask them for work or something.

After I left work, I went to Pop Physique which was fun, and I gave it my all even though it’s barre and not cardio. It was a good like refresh day, and I do feel stronger today. The air conditioner was being wonky in the studio though, and repairmen came in during the class lol. But my instructor was KILLING it; I really like her. On the walk/bus ride back, I listened to a couple tech podcasts which were really interesting.

I also read this article about global warming recently that has me shook. It’s not looking good for humanity people. I also showed E, M, and myself some handshake job listings. E wants a resume booster/some income, and I’m tbh just looking for things to pass the time at work these days, so I looked at this part time startup gig that my sorority sister posted in the group. It seems interesting, and I might email the CEO tonight.

Anyways, when I got home from work, M said we’d have to reschedule beach day, which is ok! Then I just rinsed off, got ready for bed, and went to sleep. PS a few days ago T invited me to her birthday brunch on the 23rd in the city, so I’m excited for that! Also E comes to see me in less than a week now. I started a small yet expanding bucket list for us to finish this summer, so we might see the Big Sick at our favorite movie theater on Tuesday or Wednesday😊

[goodrush]

day 32

Today my colleagues admitted for the first time that they have nothing to assign me lol. I turned in the two pager that R asked about today at 10 am and he still hasnt looked at it lmao. But I don’t mind, I get paid just to chill and play ballz. @gossipmelons is going through some stuff rn, so I’m tryna stick by her. Imagine if she and I were bumping together in Beijing instead of being an ocean away. That would be lit af.

Got my dressing on the side today, which was a good af call. My trader rescheduled on me, which was honestly a relief. It was latently stressing me out all day. But I’ll talk to him on Friday.

Got out of the office around 6 and headed to Flywheel at 6:30. I’ll be honest guys, I fucking crapped out today and it was really rough. Instead of adrenaline, I just wanted it to be over song after song, and I almost cried on the bike, resulting in a lower power score than my two previous classes. I was an emotional (and physical, obviously) wreck afterwards. I sat down on the floor of the Flywheel shower, then called E on the phone to talk it out. I really don’t know what it was to be honest. I’m thinking it’s a mental roadblock or something, because yesterday was hard too though I finished it fully. Maybe it’s also that I took Saturday and Sunday off. But no matter what, I’m not going to let it phase me. I’m not going to be perfect everyday, and that’s okay. What true resilience and endurance is is getting back to work just as hard after days like this, and striving to improve. Today I felt like a failure, but that doesn’t fucking mean I am one. I’m gonna keep striving towards my goals, making myself healthy and strong, and taking care of and pushing my body, this beautiful vessel that takes me through life. Sorry to be preachy, but I mean it.

FYI I passed out at 11:30 last night and rescheduled with my camp friend for the weekend. So no updates on that yet.

After my class, I walked back from the studio to port authority, and stopped for juice press on the way. I saw a cute as FUCK dog, it was so fluffy wow. I was overwhelmed with love.

[goodrush]

day 31

Hi friends. People have been giving me shit about my posting decline, and ugh I am sorry but I get tired at night!! I will try harder to be better :(

But I can tell you about many days today! Friday was pretty good. Liam and I got to talk about those companies he asked about. talking to my mentor was really great (and she was on time)! We went to this uber cute Italian place and I got some cheeses, and did a Barry’s class beforehand because I got out of work relatively early! So two Barry’s days in a row and they were both super intense. Even though I ate cheeses and bread that night, I woke up the next morning looking tight af!!! My tummy like was super flat and you could almost see abs. I was truly in shock.

Couldn’t really waste my time checking my self out though, bc boy did I have a wild time on the TRAIN trying to meet this BB banker. I facetimed w E beforehand, which was nice. But trains only leave my town on the weekends every like 2 hours, so I could only get on a 2:08 for a 3pm meeting, which SHOULD have been reasonable. But even though my mom said I would be taken, when I needed to leave, no one was home ??? So my dad had to race back home and get me to the station. Even though he rolled up to the house at literally 2:05, I somehow made it. Then I ran through the transfer station and made an earlier train to NYC than the scheduled transfer. But as SOON as I texted E saying “I’ve had relatively good luck with trains so far, let’s hope it lasts”, my train STOPS on the tracks for 20 minutes. I knew I was gonna be late at this point, so I emailed my guy and he seemed understanding but tbh who really knows. But that’s not ALL. I got to New York and got on the AC subway, as Google maps told me to, but when I got to west 4th, they told me they fucking wouldn’t be servicing spring, canal, or chambers, and I needed to get off and get on an E!!!! So I got off and waited for an E, which finally arrived, but it SKIPPED CHAMBERS AND WENT STRAIGHT TO THE WTC. I was actually embroiled with pure rage and sweat, and had to run back up to the agreed upon coffee shop.

I, a frizzy haired, sweaty, red faced agitated mess, greeted my networker in a daze and sat down. He asked me if I needed water, which I got, and after that the conversation seemed okay. Lasted a healthy 50 minutes, and he said he genuinely wouldn’t hold it against me for being late. So that was good I thought. After we parted ways, I simmered in a juice press with a comfort smoothie and then went to target across the street. I picked out a couple seemingly cute things, and headed downstairs to a dressing room. There were two. Two dressing rooms. And one was closed. And the other one had a line and a woman was in there for over 20 minutes!!!! After we banged on the door and security kicked her out, out she wheels “over 500$ worth of merchandise, guess you don’t want me to buy it then! And I’m so sorry you guys, there’s only one open room, what are you gonna do?” What a late stage capitalism bitch. Disgusting.

Then they found a used pad on the floor of the room, which they picked up, and then the room was ready for use! One top was cute so I bought it. Go me.

Then I walked up to have dinner with T after many reschedulings. But it was fun; she’s so adorable and so fun to talk to. I really hope we remain friends. We talked about work, boys, some crazy friends, uchicago, family, and the future. All good vibes. Our dinner was yummy Korean food, and we hung out for like over four hours! Walked around the WTC too and then she caught a train. What a doll, I honestly love her!

So then I went home, and I felt bad that I was in the city and didnt work out. I should’ve gone in earlier and taken a class at like 1 or something, but I got lazy. I wish I had more discipline :/

So Sunday though was relatively speaking way more chill. I got up at 10:30ish and went practice driving with my dad to Mont, and it was mostly fine except i missed an exit and kinda got rattled and parked badly in front of my house as a result. But I didn’t die! When I headed to Mont to meet @autonoesis for real, it went much better, and I parked great. He brought his friend Erin, which was really fun; she’s super cool. We ate at this SUPER yummy middle eastern brunch place (Joe’s idea!); I got the shakshuka, which was heavenly. After, we went shopping in the cute area, and I got some posters (one of fruits and vegetables), a few books as gifts, and a handmade facial scrub. You can imagine just how bougie this place was but i thrive on it.

Then we parted ways and I drove home, and then M surprise texted me and came over for a bit to chill. We talked about his ex, my ex, our lives, and his race he had that day which he did really well in! I would’ve done it if he’d asked lol. I may have convinced him to see John Mulaney. That shit would be worth it. And he invited me to go to the beach on Sunday… in his Jeep, which I think of as like the beachiest vehicle. I hope he takes the top off the car, or maaaaybe the half doors (?) but that still kinda freaks me out. Then it would be the MOST summery. But if I’m going to the beach, gotta work my butt off (more like my tummy off and my butt on) this week to show off a cute bod. Another motivator is E coming to see me next tuesday (and flying home Sunday)! But the biggest motivator is ME. Gotta keep myself going.

Today I went to work again, which was fine. I made some progress on the two pager, and got a new ballz high score lmao. I think I’m talking on the phone with a trader tomorrow, but he hasn’t emailed back to confirm, so we’ll see. Phone convos always freak me out a bit, so hopefully this one will go well. My lunch salad today was overdressed AGAIN! Definitely getting dressing on the side next time. Then I left at around 6ish for my 6:50 Barry’s class. It was HARD! I think it might be because I didn’t work out on sat or sun, and also the first round was just brutal (20 minutes of floor, THEN 20 minutes of treadmill with incline). But I did order a fuel bar shake. Protein powder tastes weird. And today I got another special treat: my dad came into the city for an unrelated reason and drove me home! So I got back really early.

Tonight at midnight I’m fting my old camp friend from the U.K., so hopefully that goes well/normally. It’s super coincidental that he reached out to me first. We maintain like a 25% friendship, which is enough for me. I’ve also been talking to @gossipmelons a lot more and she’s having a weird time, but I’m tryna support her from across the globe. Sigh just tryna live and all. I’m gonna reach out to this sorority sister and my childhood camp friend’s (a diff one) brother, who we like have a weird friendship with as a family. So hopefully that stuff works out. I’m just trying to chill tonight. Hopefully I get my workout mojo back and my academic/career power.

[goodrush]

day 27

So I survived my Fourth of July family reunion. It was a struggle at times but here we are. I drove for a bit on the way there and almost ran us into the highway railing while i was merging so that was fun.

Other highlights include - hearing my white grandma make the same joke 1938 times, - talking to my 24 year old cousin about my first year of college and helping her study some high school math (she needs to get certified to be a teacher and failed the test the first time). - yelling over people as we try to frantically make plans - eating 700 fried clams and 3 clam cakes stay woke - turning up on the dirty tile floors of the quality inn - doing an entire cliff walk with my mom - meeting dr. Barry and his insane trophy wife and add toddler children - watching partially obstructed fireworks - talking about real estate as my mother ominously points out that she’s “counting on me [to get a beach home for her after I make millions in finance]” - eating Pepes pizza twice - fitting back into a cute romper I was once too fat for - leaving!

That was it in a nutshell. While I didn’t expressly work out during the trip, I did do a Barrys class today. I also survived a relatively slow first day back at work, which included making a donut out of rubber bands, and realizing together with @autonoesis that the risk networking event we applied for is actually a month from when we thought it was. I also got dinner with my high school GPD A, Who also happens to intern at the same place as JW. She knows her! Its crazy.

While I had to slog downtown on the RW for dinner and then back up on the RW for my barrys class, getting dinner with A was really worth it. She talked about her first summer and her current summer and some tips to get a job, and talking to her felt really organic and real. After that dinner, I did a Barry’s class even though I got there five minutes late from all the train stuff, but I gave my all in the latter 55 minutes. Then I came home and it was relatively uneventful day otherwise. Although it does seems that the bus infrastructure is falling apart, and people decide to victimize me on the bus by sitting next to me before all the empty rows are filled with people. It’s sizist discrimination.

I also talked to E during this past week, and he seems OK, but it’s still really hard to be away from him even though he’s coming home relatively soon. He did mention to me that he;s not actually as happy as I originally thought he was at this program, and I think his MUN deadlines are definitely contributing to that. I really want to help him but I’m all the way over here, so its hard. Nonetheless it’s still comforting to know that he actually does miss me. I just want him to feel happy, but I also don’t want him to forget me. And since we mainly communicate through text, its hard to really get a sense for how he actually feels. He mentioned he has some problems conveying that. Maybe its just me though. This weird communication stuff never happens when he’s here, so I just hope he comes home soon.

I am now off to sleep. I think I’m getting dinner with my club mentor at last tomorrow night, and I’m going into the city again on Saturday to network with another BB banker and get dinner with T. Really need to get my BB apps submitted and to stop worrying about the digital interview.

[goodrush]

day 20

My dinner with slath was good! We caught up a ton and she really seems to be doing well. I love her dearly and she seems to have grown a lot as a person so I’m super happy for her. Hopefully she enjoys college, and hopefully I can see her again before she starts school, because she’s going to Scotland in a few weeks. Reminds me that I need to catch up with other people too. However, I had SUCH a cheat day with her foodwise. It was good, but so many carbs so late 😓. It’s in the past though so I have to look ahead.

Work the next day (Wednesday) was actually pretty busy! I had a training session and got started on a few new projects. L sent me what seemed like a passive aggressive email though about being impolite to our secretary? I wasn’t though, she told me to let her know when I’d be free and I was just finishing something up and gave her a shout like 3 minutes later. But I guess L thought I was gonna like let her marinate for an hour waiting for me even though she was leaving for the week? Which I would never do. So I guess that took me aback a little. Maybe he didn’t mean to be passive aggressive though. Who really knows. He seemed okay today.

After work that day I had the trader chat. So my BB trader coffee chat went okay but it was really short. Apparently he had to go to another meeting. I hope this doesn’t mean he didn’t like me. I thought we were having a good conversation and all and him cutting it off seemed abrupt enough that I think he was being genuine. So that’s okay. I also stayed really late after that for a Barry’s class at 9pm, and tbh it wasn’t as invigorating as the full body one. But I think that’s normal. I also got home at around midnight because I like walking everywhere. But it was a good walk.

Then today, work was kinda slow but L and I had a quick convo about this building company he wanted me to read about. We also had a meeting and one of R’s deals is moving forward! He seemed pretty happy. Also had a good convo with him and the CEOs assistant (my queen) about Newport (where I’m going for July 4, stay tuned for ridiculous family updates). They seem to like me as people now. I also had to tell R that I am indeed 18 and not 21. But they gave me tomorrow off, in addition to Monday and Wednesday. I’m p excited.

Also apparently my LA uncle (who got me the internship) is in my house rn. He’s nice but a bit of a leech off our family bc he doesn’t have a lot of money. So he repays us in like free shit/favors, which is great but somehow doesn’t always feel fair? Whatever. Hopefully everyone just stays civil throughout this weekend.

My club mentor rescheduled to next week, which is cool bc now I can go home relatively early. T and I also were gonna do tomorrow dinner but she rescheduled as well. But I do have a barre class tomorrow in the city that I want to go to. Maybe I will and have my mom come bc first class is free, and then we can get dinner. Might be fun.

I also talked to E the past couple days and he seems ok. He got a lil sad about not doing well in class today in Rome, which made me sad. I just want him to find inner confidence regardless of how stuff turns out sometimes. Like when one day is bad he’s like oh I’m not good at this at all. Which is untrue! And even if it were, he still loves it, which is what matters most. I want him to be able to acknowledge that a bad day is usually just that: one bad day. And then you learn from it and move on and it’s okay and it doesn’t change how far you’ve come. Hopefully he can get there, and I’ll do whatever I can to help too.

Also I did Flywheel today and I’m improving from my last class! Feeling good about it overall. And after that I went into a sephora to do my nightly skin routine with the samples. And I saw a rat dog. Stay scamming.

When I get home, I’m gonna presumably entertain my uncle, but after they I’ll send out some more emails to names that JW dropped me over dinner, submit my resume for an open house that J wanted to go to with me, and practice some digital interviews. This should also go into tomorrow as well. Mental productivity must happen today.

[goodrush]

day 17/morn of 18

So I just got to work today, and even though I haven’t shaved my nasty legs and I’m wearing a skirt, I have a cute ass smoothie even though apparently smoothies ARE actually less healthy than regular fruit. But Sunday and yesterday were fine. On Sunday my mom and I saw my brother in Newport and we got brunch and my mom called me argumentative. We observed the business operation of the restaurant and we pinpointed the problem at the understaffed servers and the lack of communication between the kitchen and the said servers. The food was kickass though.

After that we went to my brothers apartment and he went to work and my mom and I essentially cleaned the place and did his laundry 🙄. Over it. Newport is cute but way too white for me. We went to the fucking tennis hall of fame. No thanks.

On our way home my dad freaked out at me bc I didn’t want to get dinner in the city with his weird friends who scam the government so that they can live off disability and Airbnb rent. Like I’ve been busy all weekend??? And I just want to sleep???? It turns out we didn’t have to go though because we would’ve gotten back too late anyway. So we went to Pepe’s pizza in Fairfield instead which was rlly good but slammed my cal count for the day. I also didn’t work out. But hey, I’m not gonna be perfect all the time.

I don’t know if I told you but I went to Barry’s on Friday and it kicked my ass, and last night my dad agreed to cover all of my workout expenses!!! I am excited and will be getting a 3x/week membership at Barry’s. In return I cover half my food and commuting expenses, which is fine. I went to a mediocre and repetitive ClassPass class that I won’t be returning to last night in the meantime. Work yesterday was also slow, didn’t really do anything and played ballz instead. I also got to talk to E for a bit before class. He’s good and I miss him. His return is getting closer though.

I also had my college abroad program interview last night over Skype, and I think it went fairly well! I answered everything in a nonshitty way I thought, and the interviewer seemed receptive. We’ll see how it goes, and I’ll find out in the next two weeks whether I get it or not. If I don’t it’s okay, because then I can go on a full road trip with E, which would be super fun.

I’m packed schedule wise for this week. Tonight I’m meeting my old high school friend slath for dinner and she’s gonna tell me about her whole gap year I hope. Tomorrow I have a coffee chat w a BB trader (nervous and I have to study up). Thursday I have dinner with my mentor. And shit hopefully I don’t have anything on Friday because if I do i forgot about it. Stay tuned friends.

[goodrush]

day 15

Hey so I've been MIA for a few days I know. But a lot has been happening. Some highlights: went to Barry's Bootcamp yesterday which was super intense, a barre class called pop physique the day before, had a kinda hard convo with E but things are a lot better now, and am currently on my way to see my brother in Newport RI. The latter half of the week was kind of slow, so just chilled and played Ballz at work. I discovered juice press and dig inn. I LOVE dig inn and juice press is good but service sucks lol. Reconnected with my club mentor and got an interview for this abroad thing with college at the end of the summer. I'm getting dinner w my mentor on Thursday, and more details on the program to come. I also pampered myself tf out today as a reward for replacing my drivers license at the DMV. Got my nails done, lip waxed, hair cut, and second cartilage piercing (hoop this time). Also got second lobe piercings yesterday before Barry's. My ear feels super decked out. Also went to a fucking chicken farm today. Like we picked out a live chicken and then they like killed it and cleaned it out and gave it to us to take home. It was wild, but kinda cool, but also kinda sad bc the chickens are killed. It must be much more humane than any commercial farm though. I'm seeing my white grandma today, but not sleeping over thank god. We do have a good chunk of driving ahead of us. Maybe my mom will actually let me drive. Stay tuned.

[goodrush]

day 11

Work today wasn't as busy in the morning, but it was really backloaded so I had to stay really late. I did some graphs for Sam, and then I finally had my training session with R and Sam. The training session was pretty good, but I felt like they thought i was stupid because I didn't know a lot to begin with. For example, I struggled to understand skimming, but I get it now so it's fine. I guess I'm just not the quickest learner, but once I learn it I have it down pretty well. For lunch I had the same chop't salad I had yesterday, and it was still really good. I also discovered the dark chocolate covered almonds in the pantry, and I had a little too many of those. But it's OK, because I walked to port authority from work, and I also did a P90X3 workout at home. I'm significantly better at that workout than I was a week ago. Guess my cardio is getting better. Since I had to stay so late at work, E and I couldn't FaceTime during the day. But unfortunately, I did wake him up in the middle of the night, because he has a Chicago billing address credit card, so I could buy John Mulaney tickets for my birthday next year. Happy early birthday to me! Since I love John Mulaney, have seen all his Netflix specials, and have been desperate to see him live, this was truly an amazing thing I did. The pre-sale was going on and tickets selling really fast, so I couldn't wait to call E, it was pretty urgent. But supposedly in 15 minutes we're gonna FaceTime; he said he was gonna wake up early. Pretty excited to talk to him. I'll tell you this in a few minutes E, but thank you so much for waking up for me for like 10 mins. You know how important those tickets were to me. Tomorrow I'm going to finish the graphs Sam gave me. Then after work, I'm going to get coffee/dinner with JW. I also made plans with slath to get dinner with her in the city after's work next Tuesday. Haven't seen her in so long so it should be good.