#the most unhinged of the three

[iszapizza]

middle child… but he so smol

[spacedace]

“Hey, I need to get married for bullshit Infinite Realms reasons, you two in?”

“Tt, of course.”

“Sure thing! Do we need to get going for that like, right now? Or later?”

“Eh, like in a couple of hours? The Observants are demanding some Royal Ball or something and they pulled out some stupid old laws out of their collective asses that if I’m not married by the time it starts they can assign me spouses of their choosing, can you fucking believe that shit?”

“Woah, what the hell? Can they even do that?”

“I was under the impression they were only permitted to observe.”

“Right? It’s total crap, but apparently there’s like this super old law on the books and they didn’t bring it up until now when there’s like no time left to try and force me to marry someone they pick.”

“They are training to gain influence over you?”

“Eh, more like they’re trying to get control of my Dad by way of me. But still fucked as hell.”

“So why do you need to marry both of us? Or do you just need to marry one of us and we should play rock paper scissor for it?”

“Technically I only need to marry one of you, but I don’t want them pulling out any loopholes or something. So, it’d be great if one of you could be my consort for my role as Queen of Mirrors, and one could be my consort for my role as Crown Princess. You two can figure who’s who on that all that, I’m good with whatever.”

“Oooh, can I be consort for the Mirror Court? I can annoy Kon more that way.”

“I am amenable to that. Grandfather will have a fit when he learns that I can cut his access to the Pits off at my discretion and there’s nothing he can do about it.”

“Awesome, okay are you two good for meeting up at like, three? We can pop over to my Lair and get everything sorted out there.”

“Works for me, my only class til this afternoon is at one and the professor already said we’re cutting out early because she has to go out of town this weekend.”

“Four would be more agreeable if possible, I have to take Titus to the vet for his checkup.”

“Okay let’s aim for four then. It’s just signing some paperwork, making some quick blood-slash-ectoplasm pacts and swearing a couple binding oaths… Should only take like five or ten minutes?”

“They’re not gonna make you have a huge royal wedding or anything?”

“Nah. Dad keeps things pretty chill so as long as the paperwork is all in order we’ll be good. Though once Auntie Dorathea finds out she’s absolutely gonna make us have one. She loves planning weddings. Swear its what she makes her hoard out of somehow.”

“So long as we have a say in some of the proceedings I have no issue with that eventuality.”

“Same, it sounds like it’d be a fun way to annoy the Observants even more.”

“Don’t for get all the weirdos trying to be my suitors and all that bullshit.”

“We have an accord then. We can reconvene at the usual place.”

“Awesome, you two are the best! I gotta jet and let everyone know and get the ball rolling on the paperwork stuff. See you guys at four!”

With that, Nomad - Stella Phantom, Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms, Queen of Mirrors, Core of the Speedforce and ghostly hero of the Titans and the Justice League - tore a rip in the fabric of space and time and darted out of the room the same way she came. Through the mind-bending tear in reality the eerie, eye-searing green of the Infinite Realms glowed in all its unsettling glory, Phantom Keep a glittering expanse of night sky made solid in the distance.

Jon waved at her cheerfully as Damian gave a nod of farewell before both silently turned their attention back to their respective tablets as the portal closed behind their friend and teammate and the glimpse of the Ghost Zone disappeared again. Completely unbothered by the conversation just held or the life changing implications that came with them.

Jon was humming as he tapped away at something on the screen before him, Damian propping his head up on his fist in vague boredom as he frowned down at the information he was reading.

The rest of the room Nomad had left behind was caught in a frozen, stunned silence in the wake of the baffling conversation they’d all just been witness to. All eyes in the room darted between Flamebird and Pheonix seated calmly at the end of the table, then to the space where Nomad had disappeared to, back to the young men, and then towards the head of the table where Superman and Batman sat looking bewildered and a bit on the verge of heart attacks.

The short status update meeting was about to become much, much longer it seemed.

Though a lot more entertaining.

[pandadrake]

HR Violation.

Miguel holding Spider-cat and letting the intrusive thoughts win.

[opalfairy]

I just said this on some tags, but honestly, it deserves a whole post because the bingqiu blood parasites live eternally in my brain

You know how post-canon bingqiu have a single cup that they share? This has led me to the headcanon (based on nothing but vibes) that Bingqiu also just... eat by feeding each other.

You know, how some couples will be eating in public sometimes and one will grab some food and tell the other to open their mouth and feed them? That.

Except they don't feed each other one or two bites. They just eat like that. For every bite of every meal, they feed each other. No matter what's the occasion or who's present at the moment. At this point they don't even register that that's freak behavior.

[hijinxinprogress]

Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 

Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅

The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 

Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 

And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?��� and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him

Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open

But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason

[antaripirate]

i will not apologise for the person i will become when we get these. i will be going FERAL for every.single.one.

[novelconcepts]

Genuinely, if there was going to be one nom, it had to be this one. The casting is off the charts. (Shout out to Lynskey and the show as a whole also being nominated, but like. This casting. I will never be over it.)

[hailsatanacab]

@the-witchhunter - this is incredibly disturbing, i love it. fair warning, i took it more in the direction of that oglaf comic (nsfw) where Vlad fully doesn't realise that this is a love shrine, this is a completely normal thing that you do for your arch enemy!

———

“Daniel! I can explain!”

“Oh… my… God...”

“Daniel, really, it’s not what it looks like!”

“Really?” Danny breathes, shocked and honestly kind of fighting down the urge to vomit. The thermos slips from his fingers and clatters to the ground, the sound echoing far too loudly in the enclosed space. “Because it looks like you have a shrine dedicated to my dad in your closet.”

“No, that’s not—it’s more complicated than that, Daniel. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I don’t think I want to understand.”

“Your father is a ridiculous man, Daniel. I hate his stupid face so much. Look at him!”

Vlad turns back to the actual shrine, with actual candles and actual flowers and actual photos of his dad with… Holy crap, did Vlad cut out Mom in each of the photos? What the fuck? 

Wait… Look, Danny tries not to look too closely at the weird things Vlad has hidden around his mansion dedicated to his mom, but he’s fairly sure that the pictures of her he’s cut out (in heart shapes—yeah, Danny’s definitely going to barf) are the ones Vlad’s put in his other weirdo closet shrine that Danny also wishes he’d never seen.

“Why don’t you just have one shrine? Why have—no, you know what, I don’t want to know. I think I’m just gonna leave.”

Yeah, that sounds like the best option. Danny takes a cautious step back, very ready to get back home, bleach his eyeballs and maybe never look at his mom and dad ever again. Or, at least, not until he has successfully blocked this from his mind forever.

He only gets one foot out the door when Vlad lashes out and grabs him. The day just keeps getting better and better, really, doesn’t it? Even as he twists and turns, he can’t get out of Vlad’s ironclad grip and he’s pulled even farther into the closet. 

Panic rises in his throat as Vlad shuts the door—what the fuck is happening? He doesn’t want to be dragged into Vlad’s creepy shrine to his dad, what the fuck? What the fuck!

“I loathe your father, Daniel, I hate him with the very core of my being. Look at him!” 

There’s no goddamn way in hell Danny is looking at any of the pictures, no thank you. He squeezes his eyes shut and wishes he were somewhere, anywhere else, when Vlad jerks his arm forward so he comes nose-to-nose with the largest framed portrait of his dad in the very centre of the table, smiling with his doctorate and a very unfortunate 80s mullet. Dear God, no.

“I hate his smug face! I hate his stupid fashion sense, you have no idea how much I detest that orange jumpsuit of his, how much I want to claw it off him and tear it to shreds! If I have to listen to him say another boneheaded, idiotic, ridiculous thing, I will—I’ll rip his throat out with my teeth! You don't know how long I spend here looking at him, imaging all the ways I'll have him grovelling at my feet. One day, Daniel, I'll have him one day...”

———

The sun was going down when Danny finally managed to escape and find solace in Sam and Tucker. He's not going home. Not yet.

“Danny, are you okay? We were so worried, we couldn’t get hold of you for hours! Where were you?”

“Sam, Tuck… Vlad, he…”

“Holy shit, Danny, you’re shaking, are you alright? What happened, what did he do?”

“I think… I think he wants to fuck my dad.”

[steakout-05]

autistic coded men who have orange cats my beloved

[howdaretrashships]

Feihua Most Unhinged Moment Tournament: Round 3, Bracket 4

Tournament Masterpost

[ndostairlyrium]

La Giusy said "follow your dreams"

[iwasbored777]

Y'all wtf is going on in Spiderverse fandom?! It gets more toxic every day. If I didn't love these movies so much I would have left a long time ago

[grimalkinmessor]

Lawlight/Terraito AU where L and Light aren't quiiiite together yet but they're close to it, and Ryuk is Light's toxic ass ex-boyfriend in crime who rolls up just in time to make L insanely jealous and make Light seriously contemplate commiting murder again thank you

[fan-girls-r-us]

My slightly unhinged EdelBert headcanons:

- In private, Edelgard enjoys kissing Hubert; chaste pecks on the cheek, short kisses on the lips, sloppy make out sessions, mildly appropriate “church tongue”, it doesn’t matter. But she likes kissing him after his morning cup of coffee the most out of all of them.

- Hubert is secretly a remarkable poet. He’ll never admit to it, though. Most of what he writes (that he doesn’t burn) are sonnets dedicated to Edelgard.

- Edelgard enjoys snuggling. Hubert is (secretly) happy to oblige.

- Hubert can also sing rather beautifully, he just hates doing it. Prior to the Officer’s Academy, Edelgard was the only one who knew this. She is also the only person who can get him to acquiesce and sing.

- No one can convince me that Edelgard wasn’t hurt by Hubert’s lack of direct acknowledgment regarding her disappearance (revealed in Three Hopes) until they were in their 20s.

- Similarly, Hubert never told Edelgard the story about his ill-fated campaign to bring her home when he was ten— not because it was unimportant, but because he feared it would reveal his true feelings for her. And that scared him more than anything. It’s also likely the reason for his reluctance to discuss the above point as well.

- Should Edelgard and Hubert ever have children, she would absolutely be the “strict mom”, while he would 100 percent be the closet ���fun dad”.

- Hubert was likely viciously tormented by his younger siblings for his love/devotion to Edelgard, which he ALSO refused to admit. The most ruthless teasing came from his sister, who just wanted her big brother to be happy.

- Even after they enter a relationship, Edelgard and Hubert argue. It’s not often, but when it happens, it’s bad. During one particular knock-down, drag out fight of theirs over her recklessness in battle, Edelgard screams, “you’re supposed to follow my orders!” To which, Hubert yells back, “My apologies, my lady, I was under the impression that we were equals.” They don’t speak to each other for several days, until Dorothea intervenes and makes them talk out their issues.

- We’re supposed to understand the paired ending cards as “pages from a history book in the distant future”. Given the ambiguity in a lot of the endings, Edelgard and Hubert’s included, it seems as though they should be taken with a grain of salt— as history is only as good as the records you keep… with that in mind, it’s possible that Hubert outlives Edelgard due to the toll of the Agarthan experiments. Upon her death, he burns all paper evidence of their personal lives (come to think of it, probably all evidence of any type) in order to keep their private lives private. So concrete evidence of their existence, which would have been plentiful while they were a part of the government, was wiped out (as per the “fade from history” line in the end card) when they went to live as private citizens— as Hubert was now in full control of the narrative. There was no longer evidence of them admitting their feelings, and it’s not like any of their friends would rat on them, so history was left to speculate based on what was widely known about their public personas; what is stated though, is far from the case. Regardless, Hubert doesn’t live much longer after Edelgard’s passing… and we all unfortunately know why.

- Should Edelgard marry someone else, (*ahem* Byleth *ahem*) Hubert refuses to stand in her way, despite his feelings; he’s just happy that she’s happy. He even walks her down the aisle on her wedding day and stands as her “Man of Honor”, as much as it kills him.

- Hubert prides himself on his attention to detail when it comes to Edelgard; he notices everything about her and her needs, even before her sometimes. Which is why it comes as a shock to him when she tells him that she’s pregnant, because he never would have guessed that as being the reason for her slightly strange behavior as of late. You guys ever see that one scene in BBC’s Sherlock where John asks Sherlock to be his best man, and Sherlock’s brain does the blue screen of death? Well, that’s what happens when Edelgard informs Hubert that they’re going to be parents. XD

[fooltofancy]

secondary bird son go

[oblivionsdream]

My thoughts are consumed by SVSSS and TGCF 99% of the time but then on occasion MDZS just sucker punches me in the feelings.