#this is what happens when the most unhinged adults watch animated movies

[iwasbored777]

Y'all wtf is going on in Spiderverse fandom?! It gets more toxic every day. If I didn't love these movies so much I would have left a long time ago

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hello! I sent this to vinelle and she said you've already seen it, so, thoughts on the new spiderverse? Do you have a favorite spiderperson? Thanks!

I have seen it.

Well, the thing is, as usual, I don't think you'll like my thoughts.

Also, putting in a read more as this is a fairly recent movie that I assume people don't want to be spoiled on.

It had fantastic animation, great art style, interesting designs for all the characters in a myriad of different styles. Wonderful diversity of the cast and universes. It's also nice to see what our heroes are getting up to after the last film, how all their problems weren't solved and they're still in much the same messes as ever.

However, for me, it's much weaker than the first film and not just because we get a "WAIT UNTIL PART TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO".

First, for the part two bit, we get that this is a build-up film to whatever the next film is. We only introduce the problems and don't really get around to resolving them. We spend so much time between spider HQ and evil spot man that we don't focus on either as villains enough to really justify the time spent on either. Peter B Parker suffers a similar fate in that he just kind of... shows up with a baby. He's clearly comic relief again, but there's a very large question of why he's here and why he's doing what he's doing when he has about two seconds on screen to justify himself then uh change his mind, I guess. And from what we saw of part one, while we had some great fight scenes, I'm not sure they all justify what will ultimately be around a 4 hour runtime for both films.

The other bit is that it's a movie that... kind of gets the characters to do what it wants them to do. It's a hard sell for me to tell me that all the Spidermen (except for Myles) are getting together to make every other Spiderman's life miserable because one Spider Vampireman blames a teenage kid for the universe collapsing. Miguel comes off absolutely unhinged and I'm hard pressed to believe that most, if any, of the Spiderpeople we see recruited go along with this (when their role isn't so much to save people and help out other Spiderverses but make sure Uncle Ben dies horribly). We get a lot of justification for Gwen in that her life was falling apart, she'd lost her father completely as well as her only friends, and this gives her purpose and a found family. However, Peter? Peter who is an adult with a child and watching out for his own universe?

We also know of at least one universe that has survived without a Spiderman that is supposed to have a Spiderman (looking at you 42) so... why do they all assume the universe collapses if Spiderman doesn't do the same things in exactly the right order. Perhaps there's proof offscreen, but what happened to New Mumbai (especially given Spot was fucking with a particle collider) doesn't read as proof for me. Especially not for in universe characters.

It's also a bit strange when, from the last film, the point was that all the Spiderpeople are choosing to be Spiderpeople in a very individualistic manner that... doesn't lend itself to these people forming an HQ making decisions they don't agree with.

Myles even brings this up. Why is Hobie involved if he doesn't like what they're doing? Hobie never answers this then uh... leaves when it's convenient for him to do so because the plot said so.

Now, this one might get me killed if the rest hasn't already, but while I loved the animation itself the way it happens in the film is often a bit much. Don't get me wrong, it has great style and I love this age of artistic vision we're entering with animation. However, there was often too much on screen at any given moment (and this is the case with both the style and the dialogue). We'd get rapid fire quippy dialogue as the screen whirls past us, five things are happening at once, and as a result it's almost exhausting to watch. There were a lot of parts of the movie (the Lego Movie reference for example) that felt thrown in to show off artistic prowess as well as to make a gimmicky reference the audience will like. The issue isn't that they're there at all, but that there's so damn many of them. Add into that that we're already in a two-part film and I start to wonder if we couldn't have cut a lot of this.

To sum up though, don't get me wrong, I thought it was good and easily one of the best animated films I've seen in years. I will absolutely see the continuation film. I would still recommend people go see it but I'd tell you that if you're in it for story more so than art maybe just stick to the first one.

As for my favorite spiderpeople? You've come to the wrong blog. But I suppose I'll pick Peter B, you good old comic relief guru homeless man. He didn't do much in this film, but he was my favorite from the last one.

[steve0discusses]

The Live Action Fullmetal Alchemist Movie Part 6: Let’s Kill Hughes

Hey guys, I’ve been having some issues with the blog not...updating my drafts. So in case you’re wondering, that’s where I disappeared to. Give a round of applause to the support team for finding a solution until it gets fixed but as of right now I’m on like a private window with my extensions turned off and writing this from both tumblr and a LibreOffice document. Hello ads, nice to see you back.

Last we left off, we were a hop and skip away to lab 5. In the anime, this was a sequence where there was a bunch of fighting with suits of armor, and they kept that in this movie, but...not the people you think would be fighting are going to be fighting.

Listen I’m not like super knowledgeable about the world of Matte painting, but I like that they’ve unintentionally made this world building where whoever is in charge of making these red bricks basically owns everyone’s nuts. Everything is made out of the same red bricks. Like I know this is a show about homunculi ruling the world but I feel like the red brick guy is hellllllla more egregious. Freakin Monsanto over here.

I assume they had a 3d model and was like “we can just keep using it” and damn, they sure did. And inside of this brick building is, unsurprisingly a lot more red brick (although I think this is partially, if not entirely, an actual real life set.)

This next part is...such a lesson in pacing. Not necessarily a lesson to follow, but definitely a lesson to learn from maybe their non-example.

(watch Hughes die under the cut)

And what’s interesting is that there were a lot of good lines in this upcoming segment. There were a lot of good moments—bu there’s just so many. Maybe too many. You gotta prune your script occasionally, it’s like a tomato plant.

Like I’ve been doing a stress garden to cope with quarantine and Covid and 3+ months of life endangering wildfires, and I learned that you gotta prune the sucker vines off your tomatoes, although sucker vines can also make tomatoes. It sucks to do because I love tomatoes, and I want as many tomatoes as possible, but when you prune the plant, you get bigger better tomatoes that are more worthwhile than the suckers that can infect your plant and make it really sick.

Sorry that made me sound like 5000 years old with that gardening analogy. If you need me to solve your small town murder mysteries, I’m ready.

So it’s like...kind of tragic that it came together as kind of nonsensical when you can tell that it’s so close to being something better.

Like we have some reason up to this point to believe that Ed would have a freak out here...but like...a sobbing on the floor screaming at the walls type of freak out? Was there enough time devoted to this blow up, or did he walk into this room and immediately start screaming? Because he sure did walk immediately into this room and start screeching like a broken bird.

Like last recap, which was about 2 minutes ago in screentime, was this fun and quirky montage with Hughes. Now we’re sobbing into this rusty factory.

And I know what’s going on because I’ve seen the anime, but if you haven’t seen it—would this emotional break down make any sense? We were told by Dr Marcoh, “check out lab 5,” but we were only going to this factory on kind of a wish and a prayer. I really wonder if people who don’t know this show could follow past this point.

And then while we’re still adjusting to “yo, Ed just took it from a 2 to a 10 like immediately” Al is like “Hey I noticed no one is paying attention to me, and I have to lay a wicked fart:”

and then both brother’s just have a freak out. Gotta all be freaking out in this random ass Unity asset that was probably also used for some college grad’s first battle royale.

Pacing is just everything. And what’s SO HARD about Full Metal Alchemist is that there really is a lot of content to cover, there’s a lot of emotions to go through, and when you only have about 7 minutes to cover what was about 3-4 episodes, if I remember correctly, it’s kind of a zany mess.

And if you were going into this movie hoping they wouldn’t illustrate Al as a large idiot baby, then you share the sentiments of most people who saw this movie. Al is like...kind of reduced to a whiny big baby and is...not cute. Like Al is low key kind of menacing throughout this movie, not just because he has this CGI armor thing going on, but also because Al is...so impressionable and unhinged.

Something that I didn’t appreciate enough when I watched the anime was just how important Barry the Chopper was for Al’s logical character development.

Yo...These bangs…

...I’ve realized that every show I recap here just has the worst hair styles. I honestly never thought much about hair at all until I watched like 200 hours of Yugioh and all of this movie and also 6 seasons of Once Upon a Time which featured some LOOKS (but only recapped like 3 episodes, sorry if I got some of y’all excited. That was when we had no reason to cap everything because the capping community for Once was very alive and very exciting.)

By hitting him with a wrench (Al does not feel pain, ps, so he doesn’t need to be hunched over like this) Winry reminds Al that Ed would not risk his life for a fake brother (which may be a line from the anime or the manga but I don’t remember) and crying just...a lot.

Like it felt as if she had to shoot all of this out of order. Same with Ed’s freak out here. Movie’s aren’t really shot in succession and it’s up to the director to make it feel coherent and logical...this felt scattered, like the actors really didn’t know what was happening in the scenes leading up to it so they just cranked it to 11.

And then I guess Ed was either so insulted that Al punched him or was so upset that Al made Winry cry (again, this movie really tries to sell the EdxWinry ship and from me that’s a really big compliment), that Ed just started laying punches to extend a fight scene that was kind over before it started.

But symbolically there is a lot nice things going on here, Ed only uses his fleshy hand so he bleeds all over Al, hurting himself as much he’s hurting his brother. Implying more than just this fight, but suggesting that their whole journey of trying to find this sorcerer’s stone is just going to hurt both of them in their quest to save the other.

And then Al says something along the line of “it hurts!” to infer that he’s got this broken heart which is when they both finally just freakin stop.

Such a shame the pacing, which was a mix of too quick, and too many tomatoes, kind of made it hella blindsiding.

Again this was so many episodes of FMA and they stuffed it into so few minutes, it’s wild.

Especially since Ed is like...he’s cast as an adult! He’s an adult! At no point in the movie so far have they called him a kid, and they’re not pretending that he is one. But like...he acts like such a child because in the original, he was one. And, while this movie steps so far away from the source material, if should have committed and either stepped completely away or committed completely. Of course “should” is one of those things where we’ll just never know. A wish into the ether of hindsight being 20/20.

But lets get to the thing that you all came here for. This is where this movie gets BONKERS:

So Hughes actually draws out a pentagram between the different places in Armestrias, including Ishvaal, leading us to think that he’s figured out the whole dealio of turning the country into an alchemy circle. But, for some reason only helps him find the real lab 5.

It didn’t...that’s a different thing.

And it has been a long time since I’ve seen the ending of this movie—and maybe it was so offhand that I forgot if they actually do bring up turning the country into an alchemy circle--watch me eat my words, it could happen—but yo, we are finally killing Hughes—but we’re over halfway through this movie. And you may wonder...so uh...what...then what could possibly happen? There’s too much anime left!

Now I’m glad they kept this scene really close to the anime, although I haven’t watched the anime in a hot minute. It’s kind of an iconic scene so you don’t forget.

Like I do genuinely enjoy the campy parts where they were bringing up some of my favorite nostalgia of the original.

and then when you are like “ah, this is exactly the same as the anime. I can relax and watch as all my expectations are fully realized.” This twist happens.

YAH.

It’s a change!

So in the anime we had a really fun arc where we were trying to save Lieutenant Ross for being framed for killing Hughes. It’s probably my favorite part of Full Metal Alchemist, actually, it was so clever and a really thrilling chase. It was also like...half of season one.

Anyway, they cut it. They reduced half a season into 7 minutes. I know that, because each of these recaps is about 15 minutes of the movie.

You may look at this recap and be like “wait...this all happened in 15 minutes??” because yeah, this all happened in 15 minutes.

The same squad of people we see in every single scene of soldiers comes up to arrest Ed, which is weird, because I thought this band of soldiers was the military under Cl. Mustang’s command so like…shouldn’t they be arresting themselves? Mustang was over the command of more than 2 people. If we are suspicious of Mustang’s buddies then everyone in this movie would be in trouble.

And that’s when I realized that these guys were just unnamed soldiers and not a part of Mustang’s band. They only had like this many extras and just hoped we wouldn’t keep track of who is who, but I KNOW I’ve seen these guys this whole time. There are only like 6 people in this army. I see you movie magic—I see what you’re trying to do.

Anyway, Ed gets thrown into an old timey opera house that occasionally gets to be used for Middle School graduations. Or maybe also a mortuary where they charge you for funerals.

Like I know it’s supposed to be the capital building but like...this looks so weird when it’s live action. I remember the anime had this kinda feel to it but in live action it’s like…

...this is a weird ass capital building…Why do they have curtains like a Granny Holiday Inn in Reno, Nevada?

Thankfully, Hawkeye is here to explain to Ed what just happened because we, the movie viewers, were kind of surprised by that plot twist.

Like there were many ways you can condense half a season into 15 minutes, and I dunno if I would have just changed the murderer. It is a solution you can do. You can just point blame on Mustang and skip that whole Ross segment but like….

…then why write the movie?

Obviously, they had to make the movie, it had already been funded, people were really excited about the idea, and I do not envy the people that had to hack and slash with the Full Metal Alchemist script, but it is interesting what they decided was important to the original content, and what was unimportant. All that stuff that showed how Mustang was brilliant and two steps ahead of everyone else? Unimportant. All that stuff we had that showed how Mustang cares a lot about protecting other people and also cares about Ed and Al? Unimportant.

It really changes the dynamic, and it’s kind of fascinating to go into this cold because it’s been like...a year for me since I’ve watched it...and just see how different everything is without all those supporting characters that when I watched the anime I just assumed were mostly useless (Though fun). Turns out they all had a pretty significant part of making me care about Ed, about Mustang, about Al, about all my main characters.

FMA is very character driven, and this movie is mostly just...plot driven.  There’s kind of a great debate in literature about plot driven vs character driven. Movies and TV tend to be very plot driven, because they are very expensive to make, so they follow pre-formatted plot beats like “Save the Cat” or “The Heroes Journey” and other ones (there’s several to choose from).

They’ve made a fine science out of at what point a TV show should introduce the main, at what point they should suffer doubt, at what point they should shun their hero’s journey, etc etc. They know it down to the page number of the scripts they are writing. I know this, because it’s readily available on the internet and people fight about it all the time. This is why a show may suffer developing a character—because they just don’t have time and they just don’t have the resources to do something out of the box. Movies doubly so, because every minute of film can cost thousands of dollars.

What’s interesting about this is that FMA, the original FMA, does follow these beats. It was a manga sold by a huge publisher so it had to follow those beats. But, it has managed to do it while still being character driven. Yo, that’s so hard to do. This story was already written to be hyper condensed and structured when it was made into a Manga, and then it was condensed again for an anime, and then it was condensed yet again for this movie. It’s like a game of telephone, and at one end you have a very character driven story, and then at the other, it’s just totally plot.

Like it’s just a really huge risk to take. This was really, really risky.

PS did you miss Shou? Did you think we’d be done with Shou Tucker? No. Because this movie is gonna end at some point and rather than introduce other people...we’re just gonna stick with Shou and only have one miniboss.

(It has a freakin radiator in it?)

So then this next part happens and it’s low key hilarious.

The whole time.

Mustang and Hawkeye knew what lab 5 was this entire time but Ed just never asked for some reason despite working with those two for what is inferred to be YEARS since his childhood.

Hey PS, did you miss that brick building? Because it’s back.

Anyway, Mustang decides to take this underground where we can recycle the tech crew posing as extras that we used in the shot above us. Would not be surprised if a few of these are someone’s husband or wife on set.

Usually when I watch a movie I don’t get this feeling so much. But this movie...the latter half is like...EMPTY.

...this is going to be all movies made during Covid, I just realized…

Mustang is stopped by an angry Lieutenant Ross, and then we get this series of events.

And when you’re like “...Sorry?” Mustang’s like “I can make it weirder.”

And he just, without any warning or anything, lights Lieutenant Ross on fire. Multiple times, and it’s pretty intense and everyone who’s holding a gun just watches it happen is like…

...well I guess it’s too late to just shoot the guy...

…and like do you seriously not carry around a fire extinguisher when you are trying to manhunt Mustang? This is the one guy you want to wear fireproof clothes around. You have the technology. You at least have the technology for buckets of water. Like no one want to throw a blanket on her?

Just want to...watch? I guess?

Mustang just looks like a nut from this series of events instead of a genius--which is what I think they were originally going for. The pacing does that, youknow? Pacing.

And, out of the corpse pile stands Envy.

Envy has a pretty good look, I appreciated his whole look and that unlike the anime where you only find out Envy is a guy because someone told you on a forum somewhere and you were like “wait WHAT?” the movie is live action so you won’t make that mistake and embarrass yourself online.

Ed has only ever seen Lust once, and she walked in from off screen, stabbed a guy, and walked off. He’s just like...having a time because he’s done zero research into homunculi, and really, at no point in this movie are we going to give him time to figure it out.

Also, there’s this shot where Lust and Gluttony just walk in from behind them in the tunnel and it’s like…

….so no one noticed these two just hanging out back there?

It’s so freakin funny. This movie is gold. I love it.

Now If you just got here, this is a link to read all these recaps in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono

Have a good one, and stay safe! 2021 has been...weird nuts...and it’s still January somehow??? Weird times. Overall, please stay safe, it’s weird out there.

Also, if you’re like “I don’t remember this scene actually” here’s the original Hughes dies scene that inspired the movie (since the movie definitely was like “we’re only going inspired for this one nerds, get mad”)--some shots were inspired cut for cut.

And obvi this is on Youtube so it’ll probably get taken down eventually, but that’s why it’s flipped.

[horrorlad]

Horrorlad Reviews: The Dentist (1996)

Or at least, like, talks about it a bunch. 

Boy was I overthinking my first real Horror Lad post! It was going to be Grave Encounters, but that will have to wait, because I got insomnia and decided to rewatch a movie I hadn’t seen seen since I was 14, which wound up being the perfect opportunity to write out a post!

Let’s talk about The Dentist!

So, The Dentist is a 1996 movie starring Corbin Bernsen. It was directed by Brian Yuzna (one of the producers of Re-Animator, he also directed the 1989 body horror film Society which I haven’t seen, though a cursory image search tells me I need to add to my watch list immediately).

Anyway, The Dentist is about a teethsman who catches his wife giving some other guy a BJ and gets so grossed out about it that he has a nervous breakdown about, uh, how dirty mouths are, I guess? He loses his absolute shit (though he didn’t seem to have it all that together to begin with; this guy’s Jack Torrance is way more Kubrick than King), and we the audience get to tag along for all the wacky fun.

Full disclosure: I can’t give an unbiased review of this movie. I watched it several times in high school, then completely forgot about it for ten years, until tonight. There’s too much nostalgia wrapped up in it.

That said, upon rewatching it, I am in LOVE with the structure of it as a film. You know how, some movies, you can tell that the people behind the scenes are having a blast? This is one of those movies. The structure of the shots vary wildly, and I suspect that there was not one tripod or stabilizer on that set. The makeup and effects are fun, every actor has an opportunity to shine at least once, and the pacing is totally bonkers. I will note, however, that for a slasher movie the confirmed death count is pretty low, AND most of the murders are less dentistry-related than you might expect. Still, it’s a good time, and right now it’s available to watch for free (with commercials) on Tubi, which is pretty sweet!

Read on for the content warnings and spoilers. In the meantime, I give The Dentist 3.5 tanks of nitrous oxide (use with caution).

Content warnings and plot synopsis below the cut.

Content Warnings

Also, I don’t really know what to classify this one as, but there is a lot of “ick” factor to this movie — rotting teeth, sludge, etc. If you’re easily squicked out by that sort of stuff, I’d proceed with caution.

Dental torture (and how!) – it’s basically the whole movie, folks.

Sexual assault – multiple instances, including a character having their head forced down while giving oral sex (in a daydream), and another character being assaulted while on nitrous oxide.

Spousal abuse (physical and emotional) – again, there’s a lot of this.

Child abuse – A young child has their gums stabbed by the dentist.

Animal abuse – a dog is shot offscreen.

--------------------------------------

Okay, spoiler time!

Whoo boy, here we go!

I have no idea why I watched this movie so much as a teen. Probably because it was free on FearNet (remember FearNet?) and I would watch just about anything.

Watching it as an adult, my first thought is… man this is weirdly paced. My second thought is that there’s a lot more non-dental-related murders than I would have expected, but we’ll come back to that.

So, our hero(?) is a dentist, and we meet him at the beginning of a framing device, miming dentistry and offering to tell us about his story. The bulk of the movie is then a flashback about how he got to where he is, interspersed with his monologuing or whatever. We meet him and his wife (who are a straight couple in a movie and thus required to completely hate one another) on their anniversary, a fact which becomes clear while he’s in the middle of throwing a fit about his laundry.

Pictured: a totally hinged man. Nothing unhinged going on here, no sir.

At any rate, he gets all suspicious after an interaction with the pool guy, and catches his wife having an affair with the guy. He continues framing-device-monologuing about decay and the world being filthy and all that, daydreams about assaulting his wife and murdering the pool boy, etc. He follows the pool guy to the neighbor’s house, acts all weird, shoots a dog — your basic Tuesday.

Eventually, he winds up at the office, starts hallucinating, assaults a couple of patients, and finally calls an early end to the day (self care is important). We get this delightful (in a heavy-handed sort of way) scene that keeps cutting back and forth between him setting out spooky dental tools and his wife getting dressed for the big anniversary surprise he’s has planned, and that’s when things really start to go haywire.

Okay.

So like.

I get that he’s a dentist.

I get that he’s a dentist whose whole shtick is having the themed exam rooms (though why we have aaaalll these rooms for a bunch of hygienists and one dentist is a little beyond me).

But you mean to tell me that this dude’s special anniversary surprise for his wife was to show her his new, opera-themed dental exam room?

“Oh, honey… you really, really shouldn’t have…”

Like, I know he’s settled on a revenge plot by this point, but I still definitely believe that this guy was legitimately planning the entire time to show his wife his fancy new dental suite as an anniversary surprise. Not to be that guy, but no wonder she was having an affair.

Honestly though, I love this scene. I love the camera PoV shots as he shows off the dental suite, I love the excessive gesturing with his left hand. I love how the scene starts off with his point-of-view of her, and then transitions into her point-of-view of him, cut with those big beautiful teeth-yanking shots. It’s ridiculous.

And then, they get home, he has some monologuing about the pool, etc.

Next scene, it’s the next day, some cops come to ask questions about the murdered dog, his wife is out back on a pool chair with her giant sunhat covering her face (the way normal, totally-not-drugged people hang out by the pool) while the pool guy does his pool guy stuff. Eventually the cops leave, yadda yadda yadda, the pool guy scoops the wife’s tongue out of the pool, he sees how fucked up she is, the dentist murders the shit out of him. It’s beautiful.

Don’t you love it when you finish your to-do list first thing in the morning?

The end.

Wait, no, that’s not right.

Somehow, there’s still almost half a movie left.

This movie starts with this dude fighting with his wife, catching his wife cheating with the pool guy, hallucinating his wife’s nasty mouth on everyone, etc. You’d think that, with his wife tortured all to shit and the pool guy dead, the movie would have wrapped up.

I mentioned before that the pacing of the movie is weird, which it is. I mean, he has his “oop guess I’m evil now” scene on his way to work the next day, which basically means that just over half of this movie is the origin story. It could be longer, with the big climactic nonsense taking up the last quarter or so. It could be shorter, with him freaking out about his wife, losing his shit, and having a proper dental rampage. Instead, The Dentist flies in the face of conventional story structure.

But this man is a busy man. He’s a dentist, damn it.

He has to get back to work!

Things are happening fast now, let’s get condensed.

We go back to work, he pulls some malpractice shit on that lady whose dog he shot yesterday, then strangles Jessica-the-hygienist (I think that’s her job) when she calls him on it. Later, a man from the IRS comes in and uses the dentist’s shady tax junk to get free dental work which is, uh, inadvisable. IRS man, Marvin Goldblum, starts talking about our dentist’s wife (and about how unhinged shiksas are in bed, in case we somehow we didn’t piece together that he’s an awful Jewish caricature), and I’m sure the rest of his appointment goes totally normally.

Get a guy who looks at you like this.

Meanwhile, the cops are definitely onto him regarding the murder of that dog (after all, murdering dogs is THEIR turf). They go to his house, where he left the body of the pool guy he murdered just laying around outside for anyone to find (which they do). Then they go upstairs and find his wife, who is alive but so fucked up.

Back at the office, Karen-the-other-hygienist, looking for her coworker who got murdered earlier, stumbles upon the very fucked up IRS dude. We get to listen to the dentist give a little monologue about how grossed out he is that his wife put some dude’s “dirty, rotten… in her mouth!” before he injects air into a vein in Karen-the-other-hygienist’s neck to kill her.

Next up, this girl who has been waiting for two days to get her braces off gets called back. She’s adorable and chipper, so this, of course, can only go well. When’s the last time you had your dentist pull a gun on you?

Our scrappy youngster runs off, and he gives chase (we find that Mr. Goldblum’s jaw elongation procedure is going well by the way), before eventually letting her go after she promises to take very, very good care of her teeth.

After all, he’s got his next job to get to.

Let’s go teach dental students the importance of pulling out everyone’s teeth!

Yeeep, he’s a teacher! And after he shoots one of his students while hallucinating, the cops show up, resulting in the slowest chase scene any movie has ever had (I mean the dude is literally just briskly walking down the hall and he still gets away from them). Anyway, the dentist winds up in an auditorium where a woman is practicing her opera singing. The dentist is entranced by this (we know he loves opera from that scene with his wife earlier) and reaches out to the singer, but he hallucinates his wife’s hecked up face on her and drops to his knees, presumably to have the rest of his nervous breakdown. The cops… uh… well, they just kinda stand around looking disapprovingly at him while he sits on the floor. And that’s… that’s it, I guess?

“Nah, let him rest, he’s had a big day.” 

 In our final scene, we have some orderlies at his new mental institution drag him down for his regular appointment, where his wife (who I guess is a dentist now) starts drilling at his teeth. This may or may not be a hallucination. It probably doesn’t matter.

Wow. That certainly was a film.

Alright, so, I’ve been typing up my thoughts as I watch, and I think I’ve figured out what I like about this movie, that had me coming back to it over and over as a youngster. There are some movies that just look fun to film, and this is one of them. A number of the shots are really charming, for lack of a better word. There’s the anniversary scene with his wife I mentioned before, but so many others — this movie plays around with point of view, extreme close-ups, some very fun effects used to indicate the hallucinations… there’s even a sideways shot of one of the cops coming down the stairs. I seem to have a real fondness for that sort-of manic, anything-goes approach to filming. Related side note: is there a single steady shot on this whole film? I’m beginning to doubt it.

Corbin Bernsen does a great job. I mean, all the actors do, really, but he is something else. Like, I can’t think offhand of many actors who could successfully take the character “dentist in bad marriage has a nervous breakdown because his wife gives someone else a blow job and it grosses him out; goes on torturemurder spree” without overacting to the point of distraction. “What are you talking about, this dude’s hammier than Easter dinner,” you say. Now, I get the urge here, but I have to disagree; Bernsen plays a fantastic Emasculated White Guy Throwing A Fit.

That picture I posted up there, after the bit about the laundry argument? A dude who makes that face over the idea of wearing the wrong cuff links to work is at most twelve seconds away from completely losing his shit at any given moment. And the dude’s anniversary surprise for his wife was to show off his new, opera-themed dental exam room; none of this behavior seems too off the wall for that character. Granted, I haven’t seen the sequel yet, and the image searches do suggest that our dear dentist is about to use his well-cared-for teeth to chew the hell out of some scenery in The Dentist 2, but in this movie? I’m just saying it’s not an unbelievable portrayal.

Disgruntled white dudes aside, the rest of the cast seems to have a fun time too. Shout out to the receptionist literally sobbing over what a great dentist this guy is (stunning work). If nothing else, stop by for wee baby Mark Ruffalo before he was famous. It’s adorable.

LOOK AT HIM.

ALL THAT SAID, I have to state again how surprised I am by the sheer number of not-dental-related murders! Like, by my count, this guy commits a hefty amount of malpractice, but for a guy on a torturemurder spree, he sure does seem to keep his torture and his murder fairly separate. Let’s tally it:

I’m tired, let’s wrap this up. The Dentist is a fun movie about a dude who loses his shit, does some dental torture, does some murder, does ZERO dental torturemurders, and then just kinda tuckers himself out and sits down. It’s a big silly mess, and I love it.

Tortures: six

The kid at the beginning, the lady he sexually assaults (it counts), his wife (not dead), that lady whose dog he shot, Marvin the IRS guy (alive when last we see him), and the person at the dental school near the end.

Murders: three people, one dog.

The dog (shot), the pool guy (knifed), Jessica-the-hygienist (strangled), Karen-the-other-hygienist (air injected into artery), and that’s… it..? He does shoot that person at the dental school, but it doesn’t appear to be a fatal wound, and Marvin the IRS guy was alive when we saw him last.

Torturemurders: HECKIN’ ZERO.

Zero! None of the tortures are murdered, and nobody he murders is tortured! What the heck kind of slasher dentist doesn’t even kill people via dentistry? No wonder everyone looks down on him at the end.

Alright, first post written. I’m going to bed.

[prorevenge]

Oh my God, we're so sorry we blocked your doorway. Now go get your ear muffs.

I've had a long respectable career in game development. A couple of years ago I've abandoned it for a cushy corporate job, and now spend most of my days missing gamedev.

This story takes place about 10 years ago at the apex of my career.

I was the lead on a AAA project. Our parent company, for which video games was just one of many lines of business, was going through changes. We had to move offices three times in one year. Second of the three moves, always intended to be temporary, put us into the basement of an older building long occupied by satellite departments not involved with development.

The basement we were given had been empty for years, save for the most distant office. You entered the basement through a dimly lit staircase. Then, after you snaked through a horror-movie-like maze of corridors and interconnected small rooms, you'd eventually arrive at the farthest room of all.

A golden plaque was on the door.

Trademark Compliance Department.

Literally no one I knew was ever aware of Trademark Compliance, even though trademarks were a pretty important part of everything we did. The department consisted of a single elderly trademark attorney and his fresh-faced college grad assistant / paralegal / whatever.

The lawyer flipped his friggin shit when he learned people were being moved into "his" basement. For a couple of weeks, he tried desperately to prevent the move, getting all the way to the CEO. The tiny leathery lawyer amazed everyone with his deep booming voice that would climb and climb and climb in pitch as he yelled and screamed and threatened.

So, all his efforts being for naught, our stuff was moved into the basement over one weekend. We spent the following Monday and Tuesday dealing with all sorts of setup woes, electrical outlets, network connections, breathable air.

On Wednesday, two quiet 2D artists came into their L-shaped room, the one with the fancy door to Trademark Compliance, and found that all their stuff, chairs, desks, computers, everything, was pushed into the far corner. A walkway of caution tape was set up leading to the Compliance door.

While we were trying to figure out what the hell happened, a demigod VP, as close to the company CEO as it gets, walked into our lowly basement trailed by the beaming lawyer.

Apparently, our desks blocked his door. He even had pictures. The demigod hadn't seen them prior to walking down. Once he saw dozens and dozens of close-ups of the desk corner, the VP's face grew less certain. Our desk was blocking his doorway by less than an inch on the side with the hinges. The door opened away from the desk. I'm guessing even when open at 90 degrees the edge of the door was about as wide as the protruding part of the desk. In other words, it was "technically" blocking the doorway, but no more so than the door itself.

Non-committal as always, the demigod instructed us to make sure all pathways were clear at all times, and that he expected this would be the last time he had to get involved.

I'm (generally) a people pleaser. I can even maybe sympathize with an old guy freaking out when a gaggle of man-children in ironic T-shirts wreck his long-established way of life.

I figured it was time to modify the seating chart. Two people would be a pretty tight fit for that weird room, and I also didn't want my quiet flower-child artists anywhere near that loon.

I apologized to the lawyer and told him I was moving two people out and moving just one person in, making sure it was as uncluttered as possible.

I had two potential candidates in mind, and while leaning strongly towards one, I considered a milder option in case the lawyer turned out to be an all right guy after all.

The lawyer answered my apology with a triumphant "serves you right" and "that's what you get for messing with adults" and "welcome to the real world" and "this is far from over". He then ordered me to wait "right! here!" and came out with a tape measure. We snaked through his entire path from the staircase to his office, measuring clearance from desks and chairs and people's items, and the lawyer booped desks and monitors and garbage cans, and pushed people sitting in their chairs as if they were garbage cans. He crawled on the floor and marked out no-mans-land in chalk. No one was ever allowed to block his pathway "or he'd have everyone's jobs".

Once all the lines were drawn, and the lawyer retreated to his Fortress of Smugness, I knew our slightly unhinged physics programmer with his anime posters and the loud clank of his mechanical keyboard would not be moving to the Room after all.

My revenge was going Pro.

Now, the issue of sound was discussed more than any other as we were planning the temporary move. Our sound designer had to listen to all sorts of sounds at full volume on different types of speakers, not just on his headphones. If sound was designed on headphones, and you played it on surround speakers, you'd sense it. Our old office had a professionally soundproofed room. Even then that was a pretty unpleasant thing. Huge sounds could not be heard, but could be felt. Like an inaudible earthquake, it struck you with primal dread.

So we discussed this on and on and on. I wanted a sound proof room. Management wanted headphones. We eventually agreed on a compromise. We'd just have to accept screams and explosions on speakers while we were in the basement. This decision had also been made and approved by the same VP, about a month before the Walkway in Chalk incident.

You already see where I'm going with this.

We made the walkway semi-permanent with construction tape.

I took pictures and sent an update email to everyone reporting that A, we pledged to keep all pathways clear at all times, and B, the offending room would have the two girls move out, and only have the sound designer move in.

VP replied with "thank you, that's great"

See how the email listed the sound designer in an off-hand way?

This was not my first rodeo.

We moved the sound designer and all his equipment into the room.

The next morning, explosions started, then stopped.

High pitched screams in the distance.

Footsteps.

My door flew open and the lawyer ran in screaming WHAT THE FUUUUCK.

He dragged me across the street to the VP's office.

VP was not there. The lawyer screamed and jumped and stomped his little feet, left voicemails, then retreated to write an email to the VP, with CC list possibly going all the way up to President Obama and the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch.

I quickly replied that 1, sound design issues had been extensively discussed and were deemed a necessary evil; 2, I notified everyone before the fact the sound designer was moving to that particular room, and 3, if I had to keep moving people around every day, I wouldn't be able to hit my milestones.

VP replied the next morning saying "he's right about milestones, besides it's temporary anyway".

And so, for the next seven months, Compliance Department was subjected to 8 hours a day of non-stop explosions, gunfire, screams, grunts, engine roar, and wet thuds.

Once released, our game's sound was singled out for praise in multiple reviews.

I put the lawyer's name somewhere in the midst of the Thank You section in the credits.

(source) (story by TheSystemSucked)

[artpoint420]

I watched Ed, Edd, and Eddy Big Picture Show yesterday. Here’s some things I happened to notice:

(keep in mind my memory of the original series is vague and I’ve only rewatched some of the episodes recently)

The first thing that stood out to me was the opening, a near full minute of near silence as areas of Peach Creek are shown between the opening credits, something that is far different from the openings of most episodes, and honestly is a genius way to not only show that the movie was going to be something different, but also gives fans of the original show a sense of nostalgia for this is the last time they’d ever see Peach Creek in new animation.

This is followed by a near 10 straight minutes of pure, infiltrated chaos as the Ed’s prepare to escape getting a (probably deserved) beatdown by their pissed off neighbors.

The closest moment of peace amongst this chaos is seeing Double-D write a letter to his parents. I couldn’t help but notice that he goes from writing to them using terms like “Loving Parents” to reverting to simply “Dear Parents,” which signifies, based off what I know of the original series, the neglect from his parents has lead him to realizing, maybe his parents don’t love him. I also love how this is the perfect opportunity to show of his broad vocabulary and he gets more and more upset as he writes the letter, ultimately never finishing it as Ed and Eddy crash into his room. Double D has always been my favorite character, ever since I saw the show when I was young, but I believe that his constant need to organize and label everything, even to a ridiculous degree, solidifies my idea that he has some form of OCD. This OCD could spawn from living in such a chaotic neighborhood, and that, along with having to more or less raise himself, leads him to resorting to compulsive perfectionistic behaviors to make up for these things. I relate to him a lot, not only because I love using big words but also because we both love seeking and applying all sorts of knowledge which is not always appreciated by those around us.

However, his compulsion to label everything is ultimately what leads to multiple people who want to beat him up finding them. Meaning if they did get killed by the people they pissed off, it would accidentally be his fault.

One thing I can’t wrap my mind around is Johnny and Plank, most notably Plank, who mangages TO HIJACK A BUS AND MAGICALLY FIND THE EDS. By god someone explain this because I am incredibly confused.

The first emotional core of the movie is between Eddy and Double D who, I believe towards the end of season 5, got into fighting with each other more than ever, but never got a chance to make up. In this film, we see Eddy and Ed be honestly annoying to the point of being infuriating most of the time, but it does have a pay of when Double D nearly gives up on them. We see that Eddy truly does care for their friendship, and for the rest of the film, he is much more bearable. Probably one of the best moments with Eddy is seeing how protective he is of not only his wallet but also the postcard his brother sent him. He is so protective of in in fact, he doesn’t even want Double D to read it even to help them find him because he’s afraid he might smudge it or something. This shows that Eddy really puts a lot of pride in his brother and treasures anything he gives him, which is tragic considering….

The majority of the movie is a lot of slapstick, to the point that even Eddy is sick of it, but the slapstick nature of the show reaches its limits when we see that Eddy’s supposedly legendary big brother is actually a huge abusive creepy jerk, who beats the crap out of his older brother so such severity that the kids who before wanted to beat them up himself… feel genuinely sorry for him. Eddy reveals that he hyped up his brother so much to make himself seem cooler and gain respect, and I think that the treatment he received from him honestly plays a role in how selfish he was through out the series. Though his brother was gone throughout the show, Eddy idolized his brother and, as we can presume, wanted to be just like him, probably rationalizing the abuse as rough housing common between siblings. The longer he was gone, the more he separated the treatment from other things he thought was cool about him.

I honestly think his big brother was kicked out of the house by his parents, possibly even after some of this “rough housing” went terribly south and caused Eddy to get severely injured. That’s a common theory amoung fans, and when you consider how big bro acts, it’s all but completely confirmed.

One more thing I wanted to point out before wrapping this up is that Ed actually has like 3 moments of not being a stud in this movie, but it’s particularly when he’s working with Double D or saving Eddy. The first being when he hands Double D the cup to listen through the walls with, the second being when he cracks open the peanut to get the car key, and the third time in the end when he unhinges the door to defeat Eddy’s big brother. So even if Ed is kind of a stud, he can be slightly less stupid when he’s influenced by someone smarter, or he simply uses is head in a figurative way.

Overall I, like many other movies put out for shows, highly enjoyed this movie and found it oddly nostalgic despite not being the biggest fan of the original show. It may be now one of my favorite movies if for the creativity of the slapstick alone, and I am someone who loves cartoons and slapstick so much that I adore Space Jam way more than a grown adult should.

That’s all. Good day.

[nautilusopus]

1, 10, 46

1. How did you get into FFVII?

As much as I bitch about how the original game was the best and everything afterwards was terrible, I’m actually comparatively a latecomer. Funny story – I was just gonna shit all over this game and call it a day, initially.

‘Twas the far off year of 2008-ish. The emo subculture was alive and well, nobody would shut the fuck up about Haruhi Suzumiya and how it was the Greatest Anime Ever, Legendary Frog’s career had just started to peeter out, and Let’s Plays were only just starting to become A Thing. Since the market wasn’t oversaturated to the point of self-parody at times, it was anyone’s game back then. You had your Chuggaaconroy, your Slowbeef and Beetus, your Pokecapn, your Red Chocobo/Orbital Grouse, but little else. I’d just gotten done watching the Brand Spanking New Sonic 06 LP and I figured, “hey, anyone can do this! I’ll just find a famously bad game and tear it a new asshole on the internet and get and become internet famous”. 

Back then it was also in vogue to talk about how terrible and overrated VII was and how it was actually an awful game, and I was right at the goddamn forefront of that particular bandwagon. If you’re ever going through some long-forgotten internet forum crypt and find some Guest taunting people about how Final Fantasy VII is a Bad Game for emo fags and Cloud is gay and cuts himself and Sephiroth isn’t as cool as Kefka? There’s a good chance it was me (I had played neither VII nor VI at the time, it’s worth noting. I just knew that was the thing you were supposed to say.) The number one rebuttal at that point to most of the shit we’d say was “dude did you even play the games?” and the answer was no, but of course, you didn’t need to, right? You could ascertain everything you needed to know about it via Internet Vogue Opinion Osmosis. So that was obviously all there was to know about the game at all, end of story. 

Also I saw a bit of Dirge. Did nothing to help my opinion of the franchise at all.

So, I had my Definitely Shitty Game, I picked up a used copy for fifteen bucks (a real bargain, even back then), and I sat down to complain loudly about everything that could possibly be complained about and prove all those haterzz wrong. I did pretty well for the first three hours – The Graphics are Bad™, Cloud is a Douchebag and I Hate Him™ (that’s another thing, I fucking despised Cloud at first), Aeris is a Mary Sue™, Tifa is Boring™, Sephiroth is Gay and Fucks His Mother™, Who Is This Black Man Why Did Nobody Tell Me About Him™, et cetera. Wall Market earned a few brownie points with me just out of shock value alone, since before that point my main exposure to T and M rated content had been Metal Gear Solid and the tone that adult content is handled with in each of them is quite different. 

Then I hit the Shinra Tower segment and found the President dead at his desk and went through the chase scene afterwards. Been a diehard fan ever since. Never looked back. 

It’s difficult to describe the exact moment where I realised “hooooly shit I was wrong about everything this game is fucking amazing”, but I think a lot of it can be summed up with the idea that it took every preconceived notion that I had developed about what the game absolutely must be like and smashed them to pieces. The characters were expertly written, the story was complex and surreal and bittersweet and funny without ever feeling like they needed to sacrifice levity for drama or vice versa. You have to realise, if you were generally familiar with traditional RPGs like I was back then and then went into VII expecting the same traditional RPG setup, this game would have blown your goddamn mind. A lot of what’s taken for granted about how story-heavy games are written nowadays stemmed from VII, and in complaining about it being overhyped, one does have to realise it was hyped as much as it was initially for a really good reason. I knew about Aeris by then, everyone did. What I didn’t know about was the sheer magnitude of everything else in the story that nobody ever fucking talked about because how could you possibly, and people are still debating about it all to this day. You can’t gush about the brilliance of the plot twist on disc 2 and the subtleties it reveals about Cloud’s character the same way you can about “Oh man did you see when Aeris dies that was so sad guys”, or the questions the game poses about what makes you you in terms of validation and guilt and identity, and the mature insightful take it had on mental illness that is rarely matched even to this day, and the innovative way where they decided that death wasn’t heroic or glamorous or beautiful or tragic but instead just sucks and hurts a whole fucking lot and comes to everyone in the end the way you can about “WHOA THAT SUMMON CUTSCENE WAS FOUR MINUTES LONG AND THAT DRAGON BLEW UP A CONTINENT”. 

(And then I played Dirge and Crisis Core and saw the movies and was crushed because it went and proved thirteen year-old me right about all the stupid bullshit I said because it was the opposite of everything I ever loved about the original. God damn you, Nojima, you hack.)

VII is a good fucking game and it has the box quote it does for a damn good reason. Go play it. 

Since then I’ve always tried to avoid buying into internet hype about when a game is supposedly bad, because I almost made the same mistake all over again with Undertale. It says a lot about VII that I actively tried to hate it as much as I possibly could whether it was necessary or not and still wound up absolutely loving it. You never know, is all I’m saying. Make your own decisions. 

10. A NOTP?

ACGZsvs Statutory Rape Gangbang

1.Cloud is 14-16, that’s gross. Like, with Zack, it’s alright I guess, but everything else is gross. 

2. All of these people are his fucking bosses and outrank him ten times over. In a military setting. That’s extra gross. And fraternisation. (Also are you telling me Shinra doesn’t publicly execute any sort of insubordiation via firing squad on live television, especially with their top weapons?)

3. It’s illustrative of basically everything I hate about the fandom and the Compilation and the way Crisis Core went out of its way to write everyone that isn’t a the young white male marketable/shippable character out of everything even remotely resembling relevance, and how the fandom is not only absolutely fine with this, but completely on board with it all because it means they get more prettyboys to ship. Aeris is Zack’s accessory. Tifa isn’t even fucking in it. Barret? Who the fuck is Barret? Oh he’s not willowy enough and black so who cares. Nobody cares what happens to the story or the characters (or even Cloud’s arc, good god) as long a they have more material for their doujins. I hate it more than I can possibly find the words to express.

46. Favorite song in the OST?

Ah geez, this is actually a really tough one for me. I guess there’s four that really stand out for me.

I really like Cait Sith’s theme, which is actually my ringtone and has been for years because I really like jazz or anything remotely resembling jazz.

Pretty good one. Works nicely with the electric keyboard midi. 

Jenova Absolute, the one I linked to earlier, is another favourite, and also my favourite boss theme, even moreso than J-E-N-O-V-A. I actually went and learned how to play it on the piano and everything, and a full arrangement of that with multiple piano tracks was gonna be my “200 follower” present to you all except then I got mic problems and then I got really lazy and then I forgot about it, so the ETA on that is “eventually probably”. 

You Can Hear The Cry Of The Planet is a really good one. Very pretty, kinda spooky, vaguely alien, and sort of ominous considering what’s coming, which also plays in my favourite (also really pretty, kinda spooky, vaguely alien, and sort of ominous considering what’s coming) location in the game. It’s a shame this is the only place it plays in one location in the game. Sometimes I drive all the way back here just to listen to this one track. 

The last one is another exclusive track that’s very pretty and vaguely alien (well it plays in that marshy area on disc 3 but that doesn’t count) and plays during my favourite scene in the game.

Even hearing this sets off the same step-on-my-goddamn-heart response it did all those years ago. It’s sad. Not even like “sad”, sad like you’d usually think when you hear “sad”, it’s just… sad. That’s it. That’s all he had and that’s gone and that’s it, and he just kinda unhinges because it’s all he can do. I consider this one Cloud’s theme as much as his actual theme is his theme.

Fuck I wanna play this game again now.

[nemolian]

Val Kilmer's 14 Greatest Genre Movie Roles

Kilmer finds he’s no fan of Mars in Red Planet.

Image: Warner Bros.

Val Kilmer has made all kinds of movies throughout his long career, and many of his most high-profile performances (think Top Gun, The Doors, Tombstone, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and his groovy debut in Top Secret!) can be found in drama and action films. But when the Juilliard-trained actor—who’s had some health problems of late—goes genre, he makes some intriguing choices. Here are our 14 favorite Kilmer sci-fi and fantasy projects.

Kilmer as Bluntman.

Image: Saban Films

14) Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

The erstwhile Batman plays silent stoner superhero Bluntman in Bluntman V Chronic, the reboot-within-a-reboot that drives the plot of the 2019 Kevin Smith meta-comedy. In a movie stuffed with cameos, Kilmer’s is one of the funniest, just because it’s one of the most unexpected.

G/O Media may get a commission

Kilmer’s version of KITT enjoys a day at the beach.

Image: NBC

13) Knight Rider

We’re mostly focusing on Kilmer’s movie roles here, but how could we leave this truly random entry off the list? The iconic 1980s TV series about the talking car has been brought back a few times, including an NBC reboot that ran for one season starting in 2008. Kilmer supplied the voice of KITT, probably the only notable thing about this short-lived series.

12) Planes

Disney’s spin-off of Pixar’s popular Cars franchise is mostly about a crop duster voiced by unfunny comedian Dane Cook, but Kilmer and his Top Gun co-star Anthony Edwards do pop up to voice a pair of U.S. Navy fighter jets. No doubt that’s a little in-joke for adult viewers, since Planes’ target audience likely would not get the reference.

“I like you, Clarence. Always have, always will.”

Image: Warner Bros.

11) True Romance

True Romance, directed by Top Gun’s Tony Scott and written by Quentin Tarantino, is not a genre film; you’ll find it categorized under “crime” or “drama” or “extreme 1990s kitsch overload.” But it does have one fantasy element besides Patricia Arquette’s improbably hot n’ nerdy call girl with a heart of gold, and it’s Kilmer’s barely glimpsed yet still totally memorable appearance as the “Mentor” to Clarence (Christian Slater)—a guy who requires guidance and confidence-boosting from time to time and conveniently receives it in the form of a guardian angel who looks and sounds an awful lot like Elvis.

10) Twixt

Though he more or less retreated from Hollywood in the late 1990s, legendary writer-director Francis Ford Coppola made a rare big-screen return in 2011 with this ghostly tale starring Kilmer as once-successful horror author Hall Baltimore. His latest book tour takes him to a small town with a serial killer problem; a good portion of the movie takes place in a monochrome dream world populated by maybe-vampires (Elle Fanning, Alden Ehrenreich), Edgar Allan Poe (Ben Chaplin), and other gothic types. Eventually, Baltimore’s dreams become entangled with his waking life, much in the way that the events of the movie become entangled with the comeback novel Baltimore’s in the process of crafting. Twixt is, sadly, nowhere near as good as the sorta similar In the Mouth of Madness, but Kilmer’s performance as a writer wrestling with reality is not among its weaker points.

9) The Saint

Kilmer dons a series of questionable wigs and an array of accents to play iconic character Simon Templar, the benevolent but slippery master thief who can claim any prize for the right price. Really, seeing Kilmer adopt all those different corny identities (the sultry Spaniard! The leather pants-clad South African! The German with the pouffy mullet! The dowdy Russian housekeeper! The tweedy, spectacled man with the Doc Holliday twang!) is the main attraction here. Even with the character’s pedigree driving the story, without all the disguises and Kilmer’s charisma, The Saint would be just a middling mid-‘90s thriller with the Sneaker Pimps on the soundtrack, involving a formula for cold fusion that Simon seduces out of a gullible scientist (Elisabeth Shue) on behalf of some politically ambitious Russian mobsters.

Special Agent Kilmer of the FBI’s time-travel unit.

Image: Touchstone Pictures

8) Déjà Vu

Kilmer has a small role in this 2006 thriller that once again reunited him with director Tony Scott. Déjà Vu is mostly all about Denzel Washington’s character, ATF agent Doug Carlin, who’s among the first on the scene after a terrorist bombing in post-Katrina New Orleans. Kilmer plays the affable FBI agent who invites him to be part of a cutting-edge new task force that’s using some very timey-wimey high tech to solve the case. Though Kilmer—who played a very different sort of New Orleans law enforcement type opposite Nicolas Cage in Werner Herzog’s Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, a non-genre movie that’s still chock-full of excellent weirdness—doesn’t get to do a lot, his presence adds dramatic heft to the supporting cast. Also, his character is the kind of cool boss who looks the other way when Carlin decides the only way to save the day is to risk his own life by testing the human limits of time travel.

7) Red Planet

I can’t be the only person who consistently confuses Red Planet with Mission to Mars, which both came out in 2000, but for the record: Mission to Mars is the one directed by Brian De Palma where Gary Sinise gets to hang out with aliens; and Red Planet is the one where Kilmer and Carrie-Anne Moss inexplicably bring a robot with an easily-triggered “kill mode” on the first manned journey to Mars. Red Planet is not a very good movie, but Kilmer gets to play a wild-man engineering genius (for some fashion flair on the long trip, he dons what very may well be his True Romance Elvis sunglasses), a character that exactly plays to his strengths—he’s almost like an older version of Chris Knight from Real Genius.

6) The Prince of Egypt

Kilmer plays Moses and God in DreamWorks’ 1998 animated musical retelling of the Book of Exodus, bringing appropriate levels of wonder, gravitas, and grief to his performances. The Prince of Egypt manages to infuse actual drama into the familiar story—with its burning bush, “let my people go,” plagues, parting of the Red Sea, Ten Commandments, etc.—by emphasizing Moses’ clash with his adoptive brother Rameses II (Ralph Fiennes), and even though it’s, you know, Bible stuff, The Prince of Egypt never gets too preachy. However, the movie also shows that even the great Kilmer has his limits; like several of the movie stars in the cast (and despite his totally serviceable crooning in Top Secret!), he doesn’t do his own singing.

5) Batman Forever

Kilmer plays the first post-Michael Keaton Batman opposite villains Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones) and the Riddler (Jim Carrey), as well as Nicole Kidman as Bruce Wayne’s love interest and Chris O’Donnell as Batman’s new sidekick, Robin. Batman Forever, released in 1995 and directed by the great Joel Schumacher, is a sort of a midline Batman flick with forgettable details (remember Drew Barrymore was in Batman Forever? No? Neither did we, until a recent re-watch) that has been pushed to the back of all Batman-centric discussions. But you know... Kilmer’s fondness for bringing little eccentricities into his performances made him kind of perfect to play a reclusive billionaire crime-fighter with a bat fetish. (He also had the best Batman lips.) Too bad he only put on the cowl once, and then Batman & Robin happened.

4) The Island of Doctor Moreau

John Frankenheimer’s famously troubled 1996 H.G. Wells adaptation has a lot going on—a wild cast that includes Marlon Brando as Wells’ mad scientist, and Fairuza Balk, Ron Perlman, and Temuera Morrison, among others, as his human-animal hybrid creations—but somehow Kilmer still makes an impression as Montgomery, Moreau’s right-hand man. He’s soft-spoken and only vaguely menacing at first, but like everyone in the movie, he grows way more unhinged as the plot progresses. After Moreau dies, Montgomery attempts to ascend to his former overlord’s white-wardrobed place of dominance, but even the former “brilliant neurosurgeon” can’t survive the island’s rapid spiral into furry, toothy, claws-out lawless mayhem.

3) The Fourth Dimension

This three-part anthology film, which you can watch in its entirety above, opens with Lotus Community Workshop, a segment directed by Harmony Korine featuring Kilmer as “Val Kilmer”—an alternate-reality version of the famous actor who’s turned to new-age motivational speaking. You can’t not love this performance, which sees Kilmer devoid of any vanity whatsoever (just behold his wardrobe choices: beret, polo shirt with an oversized bolo tie, old-man shorts, and a fanny pack) prowl a roller rink that’s been turned into a meeting room, bellowing into a headset mic about the “awesome secrets” he’s going to share with those assembled. His wackadoo monologue is great fun, but for my money the real prize is seeing Kilmer pedal along on a BMX bike, bursting with the sort of joy one can only discover, presumably, within the utopian fourth dimension, a place “Val Kilmer” himself describes as “a kind of world like cotton candy, almost.”

This 1985 comedy, Kilmer’s second big-screen outing, made it very clear that Top Secret! was no fluke. He plays Chris Knight, a college senior whose science smarts have taken a back seat to chasing girls and other campus shenanigans—at least until he meets his awkward new roommate, Mitch (Gabriel Jarret). Mitch desperately needs a cool mentor to help him break out of his shell, while Chris needs an ally to help him take down the jerky professor who’s been exploiting students to create what the kids don’t realize is dangerous, futuristic military tech. Chris is the ultimate blend of party-guy slacker and nerdy supergenius, but Kilmer brings actual dimension to a character who easily could’ve just been there for comic relief.

1) Willow

Obviously, Kilmer’s turn as the charming rogue Madmartigan, who lends a hand (and his sword) to Warwick Davis’ unlikely hero Willow, had to top this list. Ron Howard’s 1988 fantasy comedy has become a classic, and even if Madmartigan isn’t part of the long-discussed future Disney+ TV series, he’ll always be one of our favorite characters in a movie filled with brownies, trolls, fairies, sorcerers, and evil queens. Plus, there’s the added bonus of getting to see Kilmer and future spouse Joanne Whalley fall for each other in real life as their characters are falling in love onscreen.

For more, make sure you’re following us on our Instagram @io9dotcom. 

via:Gizmodo, June 24, 2020 at 12:27PM

[s0022354a2-blog]

Collated Quotes

Subtopic 1: Is there a clear sense of authorship across Bong’s films?

“The expansive progress of Bong’s filmography through the Host and Snowpiercer has made it very clear that the Korean director has the imagination and technical chops to create a fantasy cinema on a level with anything from the Hollywood mainstream, but a sensibility with no taste for the blockbuster production line’s easy reassurance.”

“The bittersweet finale also flags up the challenges ahead in providing a harvest for the expanding world, so no platitudinous solutions here, just a movie that showcases Bong’s admirable flair for artfully unhinged spectacle, deftly undercut by a chastening reality check that never allows us to enjoy ourselves too much.”

“A repeated image shows the girl leaning into the pig’s floppy ear and whispering to calm her down. We never hear exactly what she’s whispering, but the tight closeups of Okja’s mesmerized eye show us that she’s listening intently and gets the gist—that the girl’s words matter and make sense even though they don’t speak the same language. The pig trusts her friend. All the film’s many threads ultimately come back to questions of trust: what it means to keep it or betray trust, and whether there are circumstances where betrayal is necessary, and whether the trust between human and human is more meaningful than the trust between human and animal. Mija would tell you there’s no difference.” 

“He’s also a filmmaker who finds great, unsettling dark comedy in violence, and once again the blood does run, if somewhat less generously than in “The Host” and his often brilliant “Memories of Murder.”

“Mr. Bong’s virtues as a filmmaker, including his snaking storytelling and refusal to overexplain actions and behaviors, can here feel like evasions or indulgences rather than fully thought-out choices. There’s a vagueness to the film that doesn’t feel organic — as if, having created a powerhouse central character, he didn’t exactly know what to do with her. That said, his visual style and the way he mixes eccentric types with the more banal, like a chemist preparing a combustible formula, are often sublime, as is Ms. Kim’s turn as the mother of all nightmarish mothers, a dreadful manifestation of a love so consuming it all but swallows the world.” 

“Okja is the Korean director’s most accessible film to global audiences to date, a near masterpiece that bends and twists genres and celebrates childhood even when it goes into some rather dark places along its still consistently childlike adventures.“

“Bong’s movies deny the easy satisfaction of an overarching victory, instead suggesting that you can’t save a world that may have already doomed itself.”

“I have admired Bong Joon-ho’s works for many reasons, and one of them is the unpredictability of his choices. He made me both laugh and cringe in a deadpan black comedy “Barking Dogs Never Bite” (2000), and then he played me like a piano in his great rural-set thriller film “Memories of Murder” (2003), and then he surprised me with monster film “The Host” (2006), and then he came back to another thriller set in the countryside in “Mother” (2009).”

“ …twisting suddenly from horror to pathos to comedy to action and back again…  “

“His films are never about straight good versus evil; there’s never a particular heroic sense of triumph to be found. Yet, neither is he a filmmaker who revels in pessimistic brutality. Even in the darkest of moments, there’s always a spark of hope to be found.”

“Even the characters I create, they aren’t clear-cut supervillains or superheroes, they’re all residing in the grey area. Maybe that’s why a certain amount of optimism or pessimism mixes into my films. I do feel, however, that’s more realistic and more reflective of how society is, and how life is. If everything is clear-cut and residing in one direction, it might feel a bit forced.”

“Because Netflix isn’t pursuing a theatrical release in France, the President of the esteemed film festival nearly pulled both Netflix films in competition (Okja and Noah Baumbach‘s The Meyerowitz Stories). Though they screened (and received some of the best reviews from the festival), the Jury held steadfast on the prediction that they would not reward any of the streaming service’s films. Despite this future-of-cinema conversation, the streaming distributor has offered Bong much more creative control than his English-language debut, Snowpiercer, where he had a constant battle with The Weinstein Company over the cut. Indeed, he’s quite pleased with his experience this go-round and that freedom will only make Netflix more enticing for filmmakers.“

“The Host begins with the American company just saying “dump everything down the drain”. This one is behind the scenes but it has very similar effect…it’s all this pageantry around it as if they’re doing something good when really they’re just dumping things down the drain, as well. Were you wanting to explore that idea in a different way?

BONG: This time I want to portray that idea via Tilda, who plays two roles. With Nancy Mirado, like in The Host, I wanted to be very explicit with the violence that she inflicts. Whereas Lucy Mirado, she tries to differ from Nancy. She thinks that she’s more elegant, more eco-friendly; she’s more obsessed with the marketing aspect of it and how it looks on the exterior. Nevertheless, the winner within the Mirando group is Nancy, not Lucy, and I think that reflects my concerns and fears about the reality of multinational companies within capitalist societies. The more ruthless people almost always seem to take over.”

“The traditional studios were a bit skeptical or a bit overly conscious about the radicalness of the script, and they weren’t on board,” he said. “From the get-go, it was guaranteed creative freedom [with Netflix]. They weren’t meddling with any part of the filmmaking whatsoever.”

Subtopic 2: Are Bong’s films personal to him?

“To their credit, the moviemakers signal right away that this isn’t a film that adults can use as an electronic babysitter. The dialogue is liberally peppered with F-words, and the more exaggerated jokes about corporate hypocrisy are reminiscent of non-child friendly satires like “Dr. Strangelove” and “Network” (upon learning that it will take ten years for the pigs to grow, a reporter moans, “Jesus Christ—I’ll be dead by then!”). There are also visual and thematic nods to cartoonist turned director Terry Gilliam, who made films that were childlike and sometimes childish but never strictly for kids—in particular the 1985 anti-fascist fable “Brazil,” which appears to have inspired the derring-do of ALF’s membership, chivalrous rebels who evade police by diving off bridges” 

“…Delightful, winning and deliriously wonderful story that unfolds is part E.T., part Bong Joon Ho, part Swiss Army Man (Seriously!), and ultimately one of the year’s most pleasant cinematic surprises.

“The movie’s underlying premise — child bonds with otherworldly beast and defends it from cruel adults — easily calls to mind “E.T.” or “Pete’s Dragon,” but Bong bends the formula into his own agenda.”

“It’s the recombinant offspring of all those science-fiction pictures of the 1950s and ‘60s in which exposure to atomic radiation (often referred to as both “atomic” and “radiation”) or hazardous chemicals (sometimes also radioactive) results in something very large and inhospitable: “Them!” (giant ants), “Tarantula” (giant spider), “Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People” (giant fungi), “The Amazing Colossal Man” (giant bald guy), “The Giant Behemoth” (giant behemoth – both giant and a behemoth, but more precisely a radioactive ocean-dwelling Godzilla clone), “Frankenstein Conquers the World” (giant Frankenstein’s monster atomically regenerated from the beating heart of the original monster after the A-bomb is dropped on Hiroshima), and so on.“

“Joon-Ho Bong implies that media and government are equally incompetent and untrustworthy. When you need saving from the maw of a mutant river beast, you’ve got nowhere to turn but your kin.”

“I think that films aren’t necessarily tools to change the world, a film is just a beautiful thing in itself. However, when someone is experiencing the beauty of a film, that itself is changing the world in some aspect.”

“I don’t expect the entire audience to convert to veganism after watching the film. I don’t have a problem with meat consumption itself, but I do want my audience to consider, at least once, where the food on their plate comes from. And, if one is to do that, I believe the level of meat consumption will gradually decline.”

“The South Korean director’s films, in the cinematic landscape, have never really been considered outright political missives, perhaps only because they hide under the guise of genre film.”

“However, although the super-pig phenomenon may be fiction at the moment, it’s very close to being a reality. In Canada, they already made some kind of GM salmon. It’s already gotten FDA approval. They are starting to very carefully distribute it in the market. In the process of researching the film, I met and interviewed a PhD student who is developing a GM pig. So, Okja is real. It’s actually happening. That’s why I rushed making Okja, because the real product is coming.”

“Even the characters I create, they aren’t clear-cut supervillains or superheroes, they’re all residing in the grey area. Maybe that’s why a certain amount of optimism or pessimism mixes into my films. I do feel, however, that’s more realistic and more reflective of how society is, and how life is. If everything is clear-cut and residing in one direction, it might feel a bit forced.”

“I was always a huge film buff. I was a child of the ’70s, so I didn’t have access to DVDs or VHS growing up. I didn’t go to the movies that often either. In many ways, TV was my cinema. I would open up the TV schedule and see what movies were playing each week. Although I was mostly watching films on TV, I could get through around ten a week. By the time I got to middle school, I was certain that I wanted to become a film director.“

“I majored in sociology in college. I knew that my parents would disapprove of me studying film.”

“For my next film, I’m going to try making what I’ve liked the most ever since I was a kid. So I naturally came up with a crime film, and as I was thinking that I should try and do it in a realistic and Korean-style method rather than imitating American genre films. I thought of the Hwaeseong murders, which I’d heard a lot about since I was young. But when I actually researched data on the Hwaeseong murders, it contained elements that were far more overwhelming and horrific than I had ever imagined.”

“I met with detectives who worked the case, Hwaeseong residents, and reporters from the Gyeongin Ilbo, which was the region’s newspaper.”

“I was very scared. I suffered a lot psychologically. Really, during that time period, I was very deeply absorbed in the murders, enough so that I had delusions that I might capture the real killer in the process of my research. I fell deeply into it emotionally, so I was exhausted as well.”

“I watched a lot of them, things like Se7en and The Silence of the Lambs. And also Imamura Shohei’s Vengeance Is Mine. Not only does that film clearly reveal hysteria in the Japanese society of the time, it has some unidentifiable, incredible strength to it. Of course, the work that influenced Memories of Murder directly was Alan Moore’s graphic novel From Hell. I was a bit disappointed with the Hughes brothers’ film of it.”

Subtopic 3: To what extent has Bong collaborated with the same people time and time again?

“Bong Joon Ho co-writes the film with British author/journalist Jon Ronson, a partnership that perfectly weaves together the director’s marvelous creature sensibilities, as previously experienced in The Host, with Ronson’s ability to convey a Brit-like humor and wit throughout the film that is intelligent, sensitive and, at times, quite darkly hilarious.”

“Zipping along to a vibrant soundtrack, Bong crafts lively, action-packed moments that find the hulkish Okja careening through public spaces while people scramble around her. This includes one of the most striking moments in Bong’s entire career — a slow-mo battle set to John Denver’s “You Fill Up My Senses,” which finds the ALF forming a wall of umbrellas to defend a cornered Okja while Mija cowers nearby.”

“Bong Joon-ho and his co-screenplay writer Kelly Masterson (he previously made an impressive debut with Sidney Lumet’s last work “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead” (2007)) have made a darkly engaging SF thriller from their source.”

“Tilda Swinton gloriously embraces her despicable character with the attitude of mean British headmistress, and she is fearless as usual in throwing herself into the hammy side of her character.”

“But about the monster. Created by the San Francisco-based FX house, The Orphanage, it is a creature of scary amphibious loveliness, with greenish salamanderlike skin, froggy legs…“

“I first met Plan B a long time ago-2007 in LA-and they suggested a lot of original source material to me. It was a very light relationship. It was right after I was done with my film The Host and Jeremy and Brad Pitt from Plan B were fans. I also really admired their filmography. They do lots of cavalier films such as 12 Years a Slave. So it was a natural mix between Plan B and I. But even before Plan B came on board the casting casting and effects of the film were already packaged nicely through the Korean producers and the American producer, Dooho Choi. Plan B came slightly later on and because they had a good relationship with Netflix via War Machine, they introduced Netflix to the film and they were fully supportive of Okja. It was a very smooth transition all around so I am very happy.”

“The Host begins with the American company just saying “dump everything down the drain”. This one is behind the scenes but it has very similar effect…it’s all this pageantry around it as if they’re doing something good when really they’re just dumping things down the drain, as well. Were you wanting to explore that idea in a different way?

BONG: This time I want to portray that idea via Tilda, who plays two roles. With Nancy Mirado, like in The Host, I wanted to be very explicit with the violence that she inflicts. Whereas Lucy Mirado, she tries to differ from Nancy. She thinks that she’s more elegant, more eco-friendly; she’s more obsessed with the marketing aspect of it and how it looks on the exterior. Nevertheless, the winner within the Mirando group is Nancy, not Lucy, and I think that reflects my concerns and fears about the reality of multinational companies within capitalist societies. The more ruthless people almost always seem to take over.”

“After what we went through on the last one, it was very important to start the process knowing that we had control,” producer Dooho Choi said after a press event in Cannes on Sunday. “That was most appealing aspect of it — knowing that he could play, and that someone would not be looking over his shoulder constantly. It was a pretty smooth process in that regard.”

[month9books]

Riverdale TV Show Review Episode 6 by Andrew Buckley

Riverdale Recap and Review - Season 1 - Chapter 6 - Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!

 Parental dysfunction was alive and well in this week’s episode. Add to that a healthy dose of fear, performance anxiety, adults pushing their insecurities onto their kids, and teen pregnancy, well . . . it’s just another week in Riverdale.

 Right off the bat I’m going to have to admit defeat. I was wrong about the split personality theory and I’m fairly certain that Polly is no longer just a figment of Betty’s imagination. We got to meet Polly, it finally happened. After an awkward breakfast and an over-emphasis of the word ‘Jughead’ with Mrs. Cooper, Betty and Jug succeed in discovering the location of Polly. She’s sitting uncomfortably at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy: Home For Troubled Youth (beautifully shot at the abandoned Crease Clinic at Riverview Mental Hospital in Coquitlam BC. How do I know this? Because I shot a short film there a decade ago on the heels of Ashton Kutcher’s ‘The Butterfly Effect’).

Polly is all you’d expect: blonde, beautiful, pregnant . . . wait, what? Yes, pregnant! Score a point for teen angsty drama goodness. So Polly isn’t crazy, or is she? It’s actually unclear but the show finally revealing Polly in all her glory gives an interesting amount of validity to the pure evil of the Cooper parents. Polly was going to run away with a redhead. Not exactly grounds for committing someone to an asylum. I should know, I’m married to a redhead. The scene in Betty’s bedroom when Mrs. Cooper busts out her best evil laugh is chilling and I was half expecting a ‘yeah, I killed him, what of it!?’ moment but it didn’t happen. However, I think the Cooper parents are still off the hook because they’re too obvious to be the killers.

 Polly’s pregnancy reveal and admittance that her and Jason were going to run away is all great fodder for the continuing ‘who killed Jason’ storyline though it opens up questions that the show has yet to answer. The biggest one being, how did Betty not know? How did she not know that Jason was the love of her sister’s life, that they were engaged, that he knocked her up? Betty seems to be among the more savvy of the characters on the show and yet she seems oblivious to anything that happened before July 4th. Either way, her jaunt with Jughead and their discovery of Jason’s car, some drugs, and the consequent burning of said car moves along the season’s main story at a nice pace. The complete glossing over of Jughead and Betty’s kiss though . . . it was a lovely moment that was ruined by Betty’s investigative mind kicking into overdrive. Will they end up as a couple? I guess this version of Jughead doesn’t hate girls? He sure loves pancakes though.

The final shocker this week is Polly’s escape from The Sisters of Quiet Mercy. A smashed window, blood on the glass, and somewhere out there is a pregnant blonde running to . . . who the hell knows where?

 Archie finally got to stand in the lime light this week though he did so with a quickly diminishing IQ and I have to wonder how he has any friends at all. Archie’s not stupid, but he lacks a certain amount of empathy and . . . okay fine, he’s kinda stupid. Which is a legitimate throwback to the original comics where Archie really wasn’t ever the sharpest tool in the shed. This week he stood at the centre of controversy with Valerie quitting the Pussycats only to be replaced by a jilted Veronica after she takes her misplaced anger out on Archie. Misplaced? Maybe not the right word. Archie did happily accept Ronnie as his co-star and then ditched her like a slutty music teacher ditches town after she’s discovered to be, well, a slutty music teacher.

 “I was born alone. I’ll die alone. I’ll sing alone.” What?! I’m not even sure I fully understand what that means. No one is born alone, we literally come out of another human being. We may die along but that’s not something you’re going to discover for a while. All in all, a pretty dumb statement. Add to that his dismissal of Veronica’s feelings, his uncertainty that Mr. Lodge is in prison, his failed attempts at interesting conversation at that awkward-as-hell dinner at the Lodges . . .  let’s just agree that Archie isn’t playing guitar with a full set of strings and leave it at that. He manages to pull it all together to perform in front of the school, followed by another throwaway kiss between him and Valerie. At least he got to be more interesting this week.

Speaking of kisses, I don’t understand Veronica fighting with her mother over the makeout session with Fred Andrews (workplace sexual harassment much?). Mr. Lodge has already proved to be ethically unhinged, so is Hermione locking tongues with a genuinely nice guy all that big of a deal? Veronica’s anger seems misplaced and Hermione completely fails to placate her daughter and instead decides to piss her off further by arranging for Fred Andrews to win the construction project his company so badly needs.

 And while we’re on the subject of Fred, there really isn’t a nicer guy in Riverdale. From him awkwardly telling Archie that he has a thing for Hermione, to his support of his employees to the point where he’s almost bankrupt. Yes he’s almost as oblivious as his son, but he’s still the nicest guy around. Raise your hand if you wouldn’t date him. See, not one hand.

 And finally, we got to see a pure example of the standard Riverdale parent-child relationship in for the form of Josie and her dad, Miles. The reason Josie is so bitchy is because her dad is in town and she places a lot of weight on his opinion of her. This is not only a teenage cliche, it’s also a straight up truth. Most kids want to live up to their parent’s expectations. It’s the level of those expectations that can often ruin a young teen’s life, and that’s what we’re watching happen with Josie. Miles expects far too much of his daughter and it bleeds all over the dinner table at the Lodges, right on through to the concert, and ends with Josie crying in a bathroom.

Expectations run high in Riverdale. Mrs. Cooper expects Betty to not be crazy (or maybe she fully expects her to actually be crazy, it’s honestly hard to tell.) Hermione expects Veronica to accept her and her father’s actions no matter how ethically and morally bent. Penelope Blossom expects Cheryl (curiously absent this week) to be the perfect daughter but will never compare to her brother. Fred expects Archie to not nail anymore of his teachers (low expectations on that one).

 And me, I expect Riverdale will keep getting better and better.

  STRAY THOUGHTS OF AWESOMENESS . . .

 - “The last guy I fired, it didn’t work out so well.” - Referring to Jughead’s father I assume. No serpents this episode, hoping they’ll slither back next week.

 - Is it just me or is Archie’s music, well, kinda terrible. Not ‘I’d rather be torn apart by wild badgers’ terrible, but definitely in the realm of ‘I really, really want to go full John Belushi in Animal House on that guitar.’

 - The werewolf masks! Imagine how elated I, an author of teenage fiction centred around a werewolf, was when they kept flashing to people wearing werewolf masks! Let me tell you, I was pretty happy.

 - Classic teen movie/tv show slow motion walk down the hallway scene. Gold.

Andrew Buckley attended the Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program. After pitching and developing several screenplay projects for film and television, he worked in marketing and public relations, before becoming a professional copy and content writer. During this time Andrew began writing his first adult novel, DEATH, THE DEVIL AND THE GOLDFISH, followed closely by his second novel, STILTSKIN both published by Curiosity Quills Press. Andrew also writes under the pen name 'Jane D. Everly' for his HAVELOCK series of novels.

 Look for his first upper middle grade novel HAIR IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES available now fromMonth9Books with the sequel scheduled for release in August 2017.

 Andrew also co-hosts a geek movie podcast, is working on several new novels, and has a stunning amount of other ideas. He now lives happily in the Okanagan Valley, BC with one beautiful wife, three kids, one cat, one needy dog, and a multitude of characters that live comfortably inside of his mind.

 Andrew is represented by Mark Gottlieb at the Trident Media Group.

Website | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads

[myhollywoodnews-blog]

Whatever Happened To Steve-O?

Whatever Happened To Steve-O?

Jeremy Brown - Latest News - My Hollywood News

Whatever Happened To Steve-O?, New Hollywood Princess Celebrities.

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List Of 2018 Hollywood Films Hollywood Celebrity News next Walt Hollywood Studios Motion Pictures is an American film distributor owned by The Walt Hollywood Company. Established in 1953 as Buena Vista Film Distribution Company, the company handles theatrical distribution, marketing and promotion for films produced and released by the Walt Hollywood Studios, including Walt Hollywood Pictures, Walt Hollywood Animation Studios, Pixar Animation Studios, HollywoodToon Studios, Marvel Studios, Lucasfilm, Hollywoodnature, and Touchstone Pictures. The division took on its current name in late 2007, which before that had been Buena Vista Pictures Distribution since 1987.

How was Bambi’s dad die?

 After the death of Bambi’s mother, the Great Prince finds Bambi and explains to Bambi what happened to her. He calls for Bambi to come along with him, revealing himself to be Bambi’s father. Later, when Bambi is a young adult, Man returns to the forest. After an incident with Man and his dogs, Bambi is shot.

What is the story of Sleeping Beauty?

Filled with jealousy, the evil witch Maleficent (Eleanor Audley) curses Princess Aurora (Mary Costa) to die on her 16th birthday. Thanks to Aurora’s guardian fairies (Verna Felton, Barbara Jo Allen, Barbara Luddy), she only falls into a deep sleep that can be ended with a kiss from her betrothed, Prince Phillip (Bill Shirley). To prevent Phillip from rescuing Aurora, Maleficent kidnaps and imprisons him. The good fairies are the last hope to free Phillip so that he can awaken Aurora.

Who runs Hollywood World?

Robert A. Iger is Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of The Walt Hollywood Company. As Chairman and CEO, Mr. Iger is the steward of one of the world’s largest media companies and some of the most respected and beloved brands around the globe.

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Out of all of the guys in the Jackass crew, Steve-O might have been the most unhinged. Forever shirtless so as to show off his increasingly ridiculous tattoos—among other things—Steve-O was the guy you could always count on for the stuff nobody else on the show was willing to do…or would even think of doing. Who else would snort wasabi, walk a tightrope over a gator pit, or allow himself to be flung into the sky inside a portable toilet? No one but Steve-O. But the man born Stephen Glover has matured a little bit—and gotten sober—since the last Jackass movie came out. Here’s what Steve-O’s been up to lately…

Ink it up | 0:41 A cry for help | 1:07 Be like Mike | 2:03 Celebrity feud | 2:45 On the road | 3:40 Close-up | 4:07 Animal lover | 4:28 Still Wild | 5:30

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Looper is the go-to source for the movies, TV shows and video games we all love. We’re addicted to all things superhero and Star Wars, but we’re not afraid to binge watch some reality TV when the mood strikes. Whether it’s revealing Easter eggs and secrets hidden in your favorite films, exposing movie mistakes, highlighting the best deleted scenes, or uncovering the truth about reality TV’s strangest stars, Looper has endless entertainment for the discerning YouTube viewer.

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Some of Hollywood’s animated family films have drawn fire for being accused of having sexual references hidden in them, among them The Little Mermaid (1989), Aladdin (1992), and The Lion King (1994). Instances of sexual material hidden in some versions of The Rescuers (1977) and Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) resulted in recalls and modifications of the films to remove such content. Hollywood Celebrities Latest Story 1964, Whatever Happened To Steve-O?.

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