#the most queer coded boy i have ever seen in my life

[mo-ok]

Hant "Vagabond" Jou /// hard worker

[aromanticannibal]

mha characters that are aro for CANON reasons (read: in which I reach increasingly further for canon evidence):

(Disclaimer: some of these can be evidence of characters being something else than aro (or ace) but this is my post and I can do whatever I want + /hj to /j to everything on there, when I say I start reaching I start REACHING. These are headcanons!)

Aizawa Shouta doesn't ever show romantic (or sexual) interest in anyone and is actively put off by Ms Joke hitting on him and the idea of getting married to her

All Might has NO experience with women according to Horikoshi (could also mean he has experience with men but y'know)

Ashido Mina really wants to be in a relationship but never fell in love (cupioromantic moment)

Both Bakugou Katsuki and Todoroki Shouto hide from girls crushing on them near the end, don't ever show romantic interest in anyone or get anxious or flustered near girls, Katsuki especially apparently never cared about girls (and vice versa) before and and Shouto specifically doesn't notice when he's hit on.

Iida Tenya is never interested in girls or men and is significantly more focused on both his studies and his friendships

My favorite headcanon: Uraraka Ochako's love for Izuku seems founded more on her admiration and people telling her she must like him (because boy and girl etc) than in actual romantic love, and she connects a lot with Toga (who also loves people in a non-conventional way)

Midnight doesn't have a romantic partner or anyone she regularly flirts with despite being a very beautiful and desired woman, and doesn't seem to have had any kind of romantic relationship with the three boys more or less her age she hung out with a lot (the rooftop trio) (she can also be seen as a cliché of aroallo person who only cares about sex so I'm claiming her).

Pixie Bob's obsession with finding a partner is giving "I've been told all my life that I HAVE to get married and I don't want to so I keep looking for the perfect match and not finding it because the man I'm looking for doesn't exist because I won't ever fall in love". Because by god you can't tell me the cute blonde catgirl isn't finding a boyfriend.

All For One only cares about his brother, I'd even argue he's aromantic asexual aplatonic etc. a-everything except familial and idk. quirkic. attracted to quirks.

Mount Lady is aro for the same reason as Midnight but because I think it's implied or canon that she's dating Kamui Woods, she's lower.

Midoriya Izuku is green so he's obviously aromantic and most of his flustered reactions to girls seem based more on shyness (and an obvious reaction to getting boobs shoved in his face) and sexual or aesthetic attraction than romantic attraction (he also has a very romcom view of what being boyfriend girlfriend is, ie. his reaction to Toga's confession)

Aoyama Yuuga's definition of love (according to his comment on Ochako being in love with Izuku because she was thinking "what would Deku-kun do?") is very weird and seems based more in things he was told or saw in fiction than feelings he would have felt himself.

Yoarashi Inasa is just so fucking weird with friendships and social cues he looks like he's trying to navigate the world while making absolutely sure NO ONE misinterprets him, which makes him both very aro and very autistic in my book

Kurogiri is literally a bunch of mist with little free will whose purpose in life is protecting this one boy, he's all the As.

Endeavor married for insane reasons and never even cheated on Rei after he sent her to the hospital (which a lot of men his caliber would do)

Ms Joke makes the idea of dating Shouta a joke and I think that's great. She's also green.

Miruko's chill and doesn't give a fuck, she's a fighting person, very Katsuki-coded in that regard I fear. She also works alone without an agency, which is giving aromantic for no reason other than I Said So.

Toga Himiko is a queer allegory that is generally interpreted as bisexual and biromantic but I think she can be interpreted as aroallo as well (way to love that’s seen as impure and unholy etc etc, notions of consent – taking people’s blood and hurting them without their consent which is for her a way to show her love, most of her attraction seeming physical or aesthetic rather than romantic, her parents telling her to repress repress repress instead of satisfying her desires in a safe way, the scene where she’s biting her wrist in her sleep???? etc etc) 

Twice never had a lot of friends and never had a lot of female friends and when he feels gratefulness and care for Toga it outwardly seems romantic because he doesn’t know what’s romantic and what’s not and hasn’t had a lot of female friends 

Dabi is giving aromantic aplatonic who only really loves his family but due to circumstances can’t love them healthily and ends up just hating them (the most intense feelings of love he shows are always towards Enji or Natsuo, and his apology to Shouto makes me think Shouto is also included in this – no evidence for Fuyumi and Rei but I can do what I want. He clearly cares for Twice and Toga too but it presents very differently, even after he’s revealed himself and doesn’t need to be as secretive). 

Shigaraki Tomura probably just doesn’t give a shit I’d say. He’s pretty apathetic when he isn’t fighting or angry or like doing his hatred thing, but he clearly cares about his teammates. 

Fatgum is foodpilled and studentpilled. He really loves food and he really loves his students he doesn't need no romantic relationship.

Jirou Kyoka takes a bit to warm up to Denki so I think she's demiromantic actually

Bruce (the third user of One For All). He just has such third wheel vibes.

Intelli Saiko because why would she bother with romance, it's so unpractical and illogical

Despite asking for boys' numbers all the time and being very aware of romance, Utsushimi Camie looks like she could NOT CARE LESS. aro

The fact that Hawks plays up the flirting with his fans is giving aromantic to me – obviously heartbreaker aroallo stereotype but I think he could also be ace, the aroallo part isn’t that important, it’s just that he’s always pretending. It’s giving still in the closet. Also I know he’s young and busy and Horikoshi doesn’t really put that much casual romance in MHA but it’s so funny that there isn’t even a sliver of a girlfriend implied in his timeskip. Hawks is Married To His Job. 

Star and Stripe is also absolutely married to her job. Also, lots of guys around her, lots of important and admired male figures in her life, and yet not a single crush from her. Points. Aromantic lesbian 

Nezu is a fuckass mouse I highly doubt he's attracted to humans in any way

Gran Torino is a single old man which is enough for me (though because I hate that fucker I think it'd be funny if women just hated him)

Where Is Shimura Nana’s Husband. 

Muscular only likes to kill, he doesn’t need romance nor sex, his only desire is Killing People and fighting. Same thing for Moonfish, he only wants to eat people (mood my guy) 

Geten is very hyper focused on making his quirk stronger, he doesn’t seem to really have any relationships.

Overhaul just fucking hates people

Again, Kendo Rappa only cares about fighting.

So so sad because I like his girlfriend but Natsuo is giving marrying to get away from his father

Koda Koji just had the vibes. He's so aroace to me. (aro Koda brain vs kodajirou brain fight)

Monoma Neito is such a fucking hater he just has to be aromantic

Wash is a washing machine

Honorable mentions:

List of characters whose only argument is they never show romantic attraction and don't talk much about romance or get flustered: Shouji Mezo, Sato Rikido, Tokoyami Fumikage, Shinsou Hitoshi, Yaoyorozu Momo, Sero Hanta, Hado Nejire, Togata Mirio, Shirakumo Oboro, Present Mic, Seiji Shishikura, Ryukyu, Gang Orca, Shishido, Centipeder, Ectoplasm, Hound Dog, Thirteen, Vlad King, Mandalay, Tiger, Lady Nagant, Mr. Compress, Tsukauchi Naomasa, Todoroki Rei and Fuyumi, Melissa Shield.

List of characters whose only argument is "they're green so they're obviously aromantic": Asui Tsuyu, Ibara Shiozaki, Tokage Setsuna, Kamakiri Togaru, Midoriya Inko, Ragdoll, Burnin, the Sludge Villain (I’m taking all I can get), Mustard, Ordinary Woman.

Bonus: characters that I can't make aromantic no matter how hard I try under the cut:

Gentle and La Brava, for obvious reasons. I feel like making them not love each other is like illegal.

Kudo and Yoichi. By god my brain will not accept it they're in love.

Amajiki Tamaki. I'm sure he could be aromantic but I can't let go of the Mirio and Nejire crushes (which are so real and true to me)

Yuyu (Nejire's friend), she also looks way too much like she has a giant crush on Nejire. Lesbian moment.

Best Jeanist and Edgeshot, they're giving high school sweethearts.

I put them in honorable mentions but I just have to mention Gang Orca and Shishido somewhere because the one baseball OVA made me think they're like the pseudo-enemies/rivals who argue all the time but somehow fight extremely synchronized when needed and ONLY fight each other because they're the only ones Worth It etc which is. Y'know. eye emoji etc etc

Sir Nighteye is literally in love with All Might

David Shield is literally in love with All Might

No really did you see David's wife? This man went and found a blonde blue eyed wife when he couldn't marry his blonde blue eyed best friend. His daughter looks like an All Might secret love child. I know whenever Dave hears Melissa call All Might uncle he dies a little inside because he wishes she could call him Dad too and he could call Toshinori his darling husband and

Rock Lock is happily married and I could never take that away from him

Spinner is green so I can kind of see him as aro but he’s giving madly in love with Shigaraki so much

Magne has a crush on Dabi in one of the Smash strips which is too funny to ignore I think she’s madly in love with him. And she’s right

I like kirimina so fucking much I genuinely struggle to come up with aro Kirishima headcanons. I think he could be quoiromantic but I also think he’s madly in love with Mina so I don’t know. 

Stain is literally in love with All Might

Ending (guy who attacked Natsuo) is literally in love with Endeavor

Garaki Kyudai is literally in love with All For One (“I miss your eyes” guy is so fucking devoted. The true doomed yaoi of MHA)

I know Rody is in love with Izuku he just has to be. 

To me Shindo Yo also has a crush on Izuku but also he's canonically dating Nakagame Tatami which is also cute.

[artiststarme]

Goddamn Wheelers!

Hopper was bothering him. That wasn’t necessarily unusual, Hop had been particularly hard to shake since he decided to adopt Steve into his little family. But this was a whole ’nother level of insanity. He’d been wiggling his eyebrows at him and making obscene hand gestures at him all morning and Steve was just trying to eat his breakfast in peace. 

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Steve blurted out. The entire table stilled at his eruption and looked between him and Hopper. Hop just sipped at his cup of coffee, cool as a cucumber. 

“Who me? I’m just wondering why you didn’t introduce us to the girl you’re seeing.” Hopper told him, his expression remaining relaxed and cool. 

Joyce, El, and Will turned surprised eyes towards him. Their interests were piqued. Meanwhile, Jonathan looked like he wished he could be literally anywhere else. 

Steve’s eyebrows scrunched. He was not seeing a girl and he had no idea why Hopper thought he was. 

“I’m not. Why do you think I am?” Hopper’s eyebrows raised. 

“Yes you are! I saw you two in your car last night. Why didn’t you bring her in?” He asked. 

Steve just shook his head. “Why are you so interested in meeting who I’m dating? I’m an adult, I can handle myself!”

“Why are you so embarrassed about telling me you and Nancy are back together?” Hopper yelled at him. Jonathan grimaced and tried to escape but Joyce grabbed hold of his arm to keep him there. 

“Nancy and I aren’t back together!” Steve shouted in response. 

“I know you are, I saw you guys making out in the driveway. Who else has hair that curly?” The air stilled as Steve’s face flushed in horror. Oh god, Hopper saw him making out with Eddie Munson. Oh no. 

He was in too deep now to backtrack so he took a deep breath and looked Hopper in the eye. “... Eddie. I’m dating Eddie Munson, not Nancy Wheeler. Is that okay?”

Hopper’s face broke out in a smile. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“Because he’s a guy and I’m a guy. We’re in a queer relationship. Are you okay with that?” Steve was speaking quietly, cautiously. He couldn’t wrap his head around Hopper’s reaction. 

Hopper huffed out a laugh. “Of course I am. Honestly kid, you could be screwing Bigfoot himself and I would accept it as long as it meant my kids weren't dating a Wheeler.”

Steve saw Joyce and Jonathan look at each other quickly and El shyly glanced at Will. The kid was gripping his fork with a death grip and his face was pale. 

“Um, Hop?” He muttered. 

“Yeah kid?” Hopper still had a wide smile on his face, he looked like he just won the lottery. 

“I uh, I have some bad news,” Will stammered. He glanced at Joyce who nodded at him in support. 

“There’s literally nothing you could say in this moment to bring me down. I’m thrilled!” Hopper laughed. He looked over at Steve who shot him a small smile. Oh boy, if what he thought was coming was coming, Hopper wouldn’t have that smile on his face for long. 

“I’m gay…”

“Will, thank you for telling me that and I will always accept you,” Hop told him.

“... and I’m dating Mike Wheeler.”

All joy fell from Hopper’s face and left behind was the most devastated expression Steve had ever seen. In fact, Steve couldn’t tell if it was a glare of the light or a tear in his eye. As quickly as it appeared, the sadness was replaced with inordinate rage.

“No! Absolutely not! Goddammit, Will! You’re better than this, what does he have on you? Some sort of leverage or blackmail or Upside Down voodoo? I’ll take that kid out.”

"He's been my best friend for my entire life and I really like him!" Will defended.

"Jesus Christ, why are you kids so attracted to that family? All of you now. That's just-that's ridiculous! I guarantee that violates some kind of bro code!" Hop ranted, waving his arms around heatedly.

Perhaps Eddie was rubbing off on Steve in more ways than one because he decided to cause some problems for his own amusement. "Jon is thinking about getting back together with Nancy."

He wasn't but seeing the outrage on Hopper's face was worth it. He opened his mouth to rant at a scared looking Jonathan but Joyce cut him off.

“Alright kids, time for you to go! Have fun today, be safe, listen to Steve!” Joyce ushered them away from the table and out the door. 

Steve, Will, El, and Jonathan practically bolted from the house. They could still hear Hopper screaming about “no good Wheelers” and “that fucking toothpick” and all sorts of other insults as they climbed into the Beemer. 

“Uh Steve?” Jonathan asked him.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, looking over at him. 

“Are these the seats you were making out with Eddie on?” Steve looked back out the windshield and tried to hide his blush. 

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” 

He drove all the way to the Wheeler house for DnD with groans of disgust and fake gagging filling his ears.

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[mischieffoal]

Kugrash; Rat Jesus; Bruce Kugrich; you know him, you love him - is a repressed, closeted, gay man. In this essay I will… tell you why I think that, I actually wrote the essay. (It’s not an essay it’s a long text post, it doesn’t have an introduction or a conclusion or citations don’t come for me)

Anyway, I’ve just finished The Unsleeping City chapters 1 and 2 and Kugrash has infested my brain and wormed his slimy way around my heart. I don’t need to proselytise him, if you’re reading this post you already understand the appeal of a crusty, washed-up rat bastard of a terrible father who’s trying to make up for everything he’s ever done. What I particularly loved about him was that he is gay-coded in such a specific way that it makes the poor little meow meow of it all even worse. Was it on purpose? I doubt it. But it certainly is there. 

(I doubt it was on purpose because the joy of D20 is that all the characters are kind of just pan unless specified otherwise and homophobia is only a thing that villains do in the first five minutes of a character’s introduction. So it’s like, I doubt Murph did this on purpose because he’s probably just being very queer friendly and it comes across this way because of the Kugrash of it all)

Evidence that I remembered to write down is as follows: 

Perry the Pigeon

Kug doesn’t actually want to date Perry, but he doesn't object to going to the wedding with him/sort of leads him on/definitely flirts with him/tries to let him down nicely. 

Murph did just choose the name Perry at random. Could have been a girl pigeon, but no. 

Perry is serious about Kugrash. Like, “still mourning him” serious. 

Perry isn’t only into Kug, he is an established gay pigeon who later marries another man (/rabbit)

2. The Kugriches

When the other PCs tell Wally there’s a pigeon with a crush on his dad, Wally immediately asks “What’s his name?”

Wally and David’s mum is out of the picture. David said that Bruce abandoned them when Wally really needed him, which I think implies she’s been gone since before Kugrash was cursed. Why? Who knows, Bruce was a bastard in many ways - but if his sexuality was so obvious that their son can only imagine his dad dating a male pigeon, it was probably obvious to Bruce’s ex. 

3. Lowell Masters

Kingston: finds out Lowell can Identify things by sticking them up his ass Kingston, two seconds later, pointing at his good friend Kugrash: “This man, what is this man?" Lowell: gives Kugrash an ass jacket Kugrash: “Yeah, yeah, sure thanks, appreciate it.”  Kugrash: “I smell like lube now instead of trash.” Kugrash: “We’ll link up at some point”

4. The totems

All men. When the Intrepid Heroes came up with what their totem animals would be in an Adventuring Party, they weren’t particularly gendered, but weren’t sentient either, so who knows what that’s worth

Perry (see Point 1)

The campest unicorn you’ve ever seen or heard in your life

5. Best friends with a hairdresser

6. “You goddamn beautiful boy, you fucker, you absolute arsehole.” I get it, Kug. Ricky does it to us all. 

To me, all of this implies Kugrash is gay, but quietly. He’s certainly not out-and-proud like Pete is, but his children know. Did he tell them or was it obvious? I don’t think Kugrash knows. I think he’s closeted to no-one but himself. A business man in the 1980s isn’t the most likely guy to have searched his soul for any sexual deviancy, and since then he’s been very busy being depressed/ashamed/a literal rat in the sewers. Misty and Kingston do a lot of work to pull him out of the underground and actually talk to human beings again. They know he’s gay, from the things they say about him (see in particular Point 3: Lowell Masters). I don’t think Kugrash would have ever had a “gay awakening” or a “gay panic” if he’d stayed on the mortal plane, I doubt his sexuality would be that shocking or confusing - I just don’t think he’s noticed. 

Being cursed into a ratman gives you the space to learn all sorts of things about yourself, and if that doesn’t quite work, you can always eat an everything bagel and become omniscient, when you can finally realise that Bruce Kugrich was in fact gay the whole time.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

[pretty-emo-dad]

Queer rep is like “I’m a girl…. But I like?? A girl >_<“ Meanwhile queer coding is like “I look at her face through her fishnet veil. Is she pissed? I can’t tell because it’s hard to see her expression in the dark. I shrug, smile, but feel my lip jerk to one side.

“Okay. Stressful. School and all.”

She nods at the moon, who would never be stressed out by dumb things like school. I wish she would look at me.

“I missed you.” I say it with feeling. Too much feeling. “I tried to text. I thought maybe you left town or something.”

“Nope, still here. Well, there was that really brief stint with Diego in Paris. He got me this coat.”

“It’s nice.” I say it before I even look at her coat but now that I do, I realize it is a nice coat, a very nice coat, and I’ve never seen her in it before. Probably another spoil from the Warren dumpster but no, it looks too new. It’s got a fur collar. “Is that real fur?”

“Rabbit.” She blows smoke coolly out of her nostrils like a dragon. “He skinned it himself. Don’t look so appalled, Smackie. That’s what they do in Europe. Anyway, it had a good life before he shot it. Lots of tall grass and hopping in the Bois de Boulogne or whatever.”

She grins at me, her eyes shining. “Oh, how was your little sex party thing, by the way?”

“Okay.”

“Cool.”

“I mean, it was super lame,” I add. “I don’t think I’ll be doing that again. Ever.”

She looks at me. “You’re allowed to have fun without me,

you know.”

“I know,” I say. “But I really didn’t. At all.”

She looks at me until I look away.

Silence.

When I look back at her, she’s staring up at the moon, smiling serenely at it like the moon is her new best friend, it’s telling her the most gorgeous things in the world, it would never betray her for some dumb cunts. I could never compare. I shouldn’t try.

“I really missed you this week. I thought maybe you were upset with me.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Because you went to that lame party?”

When she says it aloud like that, it sounds utterly stupid.

“No. I don’t know. Maybe,” I say.

She laughs and shakes her head. “Don’t be an idiot.” She turns back toward the moon. “Unlike your new friends, I’m a grown woman.” “I know.”

“I have my own devices.” She looks down the street as though she’s waiting for a taxi that will arrive and whisk her away any minute now. The street is dark, empty, aside from a few scared-looking undergrads walking quickly down the sidewalk, huddled together, their coiffed heads bent, purse logos shimmering in the dark. Probably venturing toward the one cool bar downtown.

The tango music swells up again.

“We’d better go back inside,” she says and moves to walk in.

“I’m sorry I went,” I blurt out. “I would much rather have hung out with you.” It’s the truth. It’s so the truth I can’t even look at her.

“Do you want me to be mad at you? Is that it?” “No,” I say.

“Because I will be. Samantha, how dare you.” “Ava.”

“Why oh why did you desert me for three hours?”

“Stop it.”

“Do you know I almost died? In fact,” she turns to look at me, “I am dead.” “Don’t.”

“Oh yes. I’m a ghost now, Samantha. I died of a broken heart. I died of grief. It’s in the autopsy. And it’s all your fault. My tombstone reads, Friend Deserted for Evening. I didn’t invite you to the funeral because I figured you wouldn’t care.”

“Ava, please stop—”

She moves in closer. Cups her hands around my face. Her hands are cold and soft and strong through the mesh gloves that grate my skin. She smells like wet leaf, firewood, and green tea. Her hair is platinum feathers brushing my cheeks. Her eyes are runny and scary with makeup, both the brown one and the blue one boring into my skull. We’re swaying slightly like we’re about to dance.

I remember how the first time we came to class, we were late and all the men had been taken. So the teacher said, You two, pair up! Take turns leading.

Are you leading or am I? I asked Ava.

Whatever, she said. We can both lead.

Okay, I said, not knowing what to do. So I sort of followed and led at the same time. She was looking right at me sort of dreamily, happily, like what bliss, what fun, isn’t it? but I didn’t know where to look, so I kept my eyes on a peacock feather earring dangling from her left ear. It felt a little like holding a dream.

I’m staring at that feather now, though this doesn’t feel like a dream.

“Samantha,” she says now, “I don’t care, okay? I really don’t. You want to go to a pretentious party and fraternize with bonobos, I honestly give zero fucks. I don’t care what you do or where you go, okay?”

I feel my breath being knocked out of me. “Okay,” I say. She looks at me.

Tears are suddenly running down my face.

“Smackie,” she says softly.

But I’m walking away, stumbling then running. Even though the night scares me. Even though I hear her calling my name as I walk off into the night. I hear her calling me back, but I don’t turn around. I want to show her I’m not scared. ”

[otobabe]

SHOCKING: regarding the rumors about todo heisuke not being an ally

i'm about to cause discourse on tumblr..... lol

first things first: obv everyone is entitled to their onions and headcanons, im not coming for the person i saw post abt heisuke not being gay or an ally, and they're allowed to feel and share their opinions abt queer hakuouki takes. i prefer not to make them feel attacked so pls dont go trying to find their post and responding to it just bc you see this. esp bc for all i know, other people feel the same way about heisuke !!! i just want to clear up these rumors abt him ok ! xD

~~if you've ever talked to me abt hakuouki you know i am very "everyone is everything and whatever you want them to be", pls for your own personal enjoyment of hakuouki, have fun with or without the source material and enjoy the colorful cast of characters!!~~

that said, HERE ARE MY REASONS HEISUKE IS GAY AND LOVES TRANS PEOPLE AND HONESTLY IS PROBABLY UNDER THE TRANS UMBRELLA AND LITERALLY WOULD GO TO BAT AND FIGHT FOR ANY OF HIS FRIENDS BUT ESPECIALLY HIS LGBTQ+ FAM

-photo one: taken directly from EB, this one line from Sannan not only points out that the rest of the shinsengumi crew is so close and valuable to heisuke that even others view them as "his pack" aka his family, but also showcases the moment that heisuke has gone far out of his way to be here to confront Sannan with relationship to his previous bond to Sannan, and his current bonds to the shinsengumi and chizuru. even if we pretend that heisuke isn't gay in some way (he is) of course he would also view his queer friends with the same loving ferocity and defend them with his life. if anything he is one of the most all for one, one for all, protective and loving shinsengumi members of the bunch.

-photo two: always prioritizing and protecting the "underdog/weakest", even above other people who we have literally seen him be willing to give his life for. he recognizes when life/the situation is unfairly against someone else and he is on their team to try to help them.

continued under cut <3

-photo three: i'm going to cry thinking abt this scene again lol. pls, if you know the scene you know what i'm pointing out. stan my boys.

-photo four: hajime here is kindly pointing out for us: heisuke has Been Through It. i could go all day talking abt his not being wanted/accepted in his family as a child, his bond with ibuki, sannan, hajime, etc, his 'sunshine to mask the pain' personality, and how they relate to and mirror queer experiences, but at the base of this all, Heisuke knows exactly what it means to not fit in, to be different, and to have gone through hell to accept himself. if thats not the queer experience idk what is lol.

-photo five: my king so generously points out to us that he has never had feelings for a woman besides Chizuru (or MC for my self insert babies uwu). Where many other characters are hinted at being ladykillers or non-virgins etc, Heisuke has always been very candid about not having had any close bond with a woman before, much less have had feelings or even attraction to one. Sure, he gets embarrassed when the baka trio go to fun sexy lady places, but he himself doesn't ever really say that *he* is attracted to any of the other women he comes into contact with. points can be made here for him being bisexual/pansexual with or without a leaning towards men, demi/ace spectrum for his attraction seemingly going hand in hand with his closeness with a person, etc

-photo six: uhmmmmm who else can get along with kazama like this that isn't a little gay???? one of the few that can stand his ass (lovingly)

-photo seven: WATCH OR PLAY REIMEIROKU. this is obv from EB but the bond that ibuki and heisuke share is almost unbearable in how much they love and care for each other like,,,, what is your first love if not someone you wish will be happy in life with or without you? ibuki is so clearly not a samurai, he's an artsy little outcast (also incredibly queer-coded and missed on that post imo), and heisuke relates to and grows close to him, missing and loving him from afar, even so far as to refrain from going to see him personally in fear of disrupting their peace.

-photo eight: pls who else's arc has the major theme of fighting for others ???? :sob: :sob: :sob: like fr ive kept these screenshots and photos forever because i always keep in my heart that heisuke would be fighting for us. HE WILL COME TO BAT FOR YOU !!!!!!!!!

-photo nine: the baka trio have such a wonderful and beautiful friendship, that while i personally think they absolutely wouldve been close enough to experiment with each other, at the very least i think it's obvious that they are heisuke's found family. found families mean so much to queer people for a multitude of reasons, and im so thankful that heisuke has his.

i could honestly keep going for so long on this but ill end with this;

your favorite character is trans :) ALL of the shinsengumi members would back you up and fight for your human rights. none of the shinsengumi members from Hakuoki are queerphobic/fatphobic/transphobic/biphobic/etc. if YOU are transphobic get the fuck off my blog, i do not want your follow <3

p.s. either here in the replies/quote reblogs or in my messages or w/e feel free to ask for anything along the lines of trans and queer affirming headcanons about the hakuouki cast, i would love to provide that <3 <3 <3

[matan4il]

I really love how you point out the importance of Buddie choosing to raise Chris together as important LBGTQ representation because it's so close to my heart I need to see it. We never get that kind of representation for gay fathers but also gay men who are not into "gay hook up" culture as it's been labeled in Hollywood. Listen I loved Boys as much as the next and loved seeing a side not always portrayed in the mainstream...

But we never get soft gay boys choosing to start families. Wanting the family life and being like all the other soccer families you know?

Maybe it's easier for writers to portray women that way? I often joked it's because women are more naturally tactile. You can put 2 women best friends together on screen and easily blur the lines where an audience member can take the leap you know. Beaches, Fried Green Tomatoes, heck even Rizzoli and Isles.

But writers haven't seem to be able to Crack the code IMHO with men. It's one of the reasons I don't want a slutty Eddie Era. It's not my story but I don't see the need. Eddie is soft for 2 people in the world. Evan and Christopher. Can't I just have that you know??

And let me backtrack we did get Schitts Creek, but I think we can all agree that was an exception to the rules in gay storytelling. Even to the small point that the gay couple got the HEA, the straight couple realized their dreams lied elsewhere, and the straight bestie got to go live their best version of life.

Hopefully that made sense???

Hi Nonnie! Awwww, thank you for the kindness! I’m so happy to hear we’re on the same wavelength when it comes to what I said in this ask reply!

And I agree, there is so much more diversity in the real life queer community than in its reflection on screen. A part of it is not showing enough the more domestic couples, the older-when-coming-out men who don’t go through a phase of reliving the gay version of their adolescence, the ones who aren’t as colorful and who are not looking to party, the ones who want to be partners and parents and not party-goers. And who are still into sex! Just... domesticated sex. This isn’t to say that there’s an issue with any of the queer (especially male) characters that are often being portrayed, but for obvious reasons (they’re perceived as more interesting and drama-inducing), TV and movies tend to favor one over the other, rather than showing us a fuller range of the gay experience with love and acceptance for all. And EVERY kind of queer person deserves to see a reflection of themselves on our screens. And to not be sterilized if domesticated. 911 has done this so well for the lesbians with Henren, I am so hopeful it can do the same for gay men with Buddie, and to give us a breakthrough for queer men with a proper mlm slow burn.

And TBH, I would have actually really loved to see Buck and Eddie, after getting together, not only raising Chris together, but some time after they get together, also choosing to bring another kid into the world as a couple. We were almost gonna see it with Henren, but then the show took a turn with that storyline. The few times when TV and movies do portray queer couples, and especially male ones, as becoming parents, it’s almost always due to circumstances... I think I’ve only ever seen one such couple (on Modern Family) going through adoption, or choosing one of the other ways in which MOST same sex couples in REAL LIFE become parents. Again, that’s just a piece of representation that’s MISSING. It would be amazing to see Buck and Eddie doing THAT. Or Chris getting to be enthusiastic about being an older brother.

Oh man, I still need to watch Schitt’s Creek, I heard only good things about it. I know I’ll love it once I watch it. But from what I’ve gathered, they didn’t get to the stage of parenthood on the show, right? So yeah, they got to be soft and domestic, but not start on that next stage of building a family together?

You made perfect sense, lovely! I hope I did too. Thank you so much for this and have a great day! As always, here’s my ask tag. xoxox

[talkingbl]

ZeeNunew = MewGulf

Now that I've gotten your attention, let's talk about shipping and people who talk about shipping. This is a long post so, if you don't want to read the whole thing, skip down to the TLDR instead of reading it anyway then complaining about the length.

The problem with BL pairing shippers

Many critiques about shippers are extremely valid. Shippers can get out of hand and do things like bring Gulf porn of him and Mew to his solo event or follow Joong around calling him "baby~~~" b/c that's what he allegedly calls Dunk despite that he clearly doesn't want them to. I've seen shippers beg actors to physically touch, to kiss, to perform unwanted sexual acts on each other, etc. Straight up gross behavior.

Like, when did it become okay to essentially bribe people into fulfilling your fantasies, unprovoked? I could see if they were okay with this (see below), but most of the time stans are doing these things out of nowhere while the actors either refuse or look clearly uncomfortable. At best, it's cringey when shippers cross the line like this, at worst it's criminal.

That said, I personally believe that not all shippers are inherently bad. There are lots of normal shippers who simply like the moments, eat it up, and play along with the actors when it's clear that the actors are okay with it. So, I'm sorry to the non-shippers out there but I just don't care about the normal shippers, I don't think it's wrong, and I'm not gonna call the these types of shippers delulu (but I will bully tf out of the group mentioned above). It's not really my cup of tea to get invested in ships to that level but to each their own.

With that, I think it's a good time to turn to the problem that no one EVER addresses. And that is the problem with non-shippers.

The problem with non-shippers

We all know the non-shipper greatest hits. BL shippers are harmful because:

no ships are real/it's all fanservice and I won't believe otherwise until I see a marriage certificate (unless both actors are conveniently feminine-coded)

all BL actors are straight until proven otherwise, so shipping = bad

all BL actors have girlfriends until proven otherwise!!

shippers are delulu straight women who don't care about gay rights

also, it's none of our business

Also, we need to protect actors from the ~harm to their image!!!

Did I cover everything? Probably not but there's a point here. Not only are every single one of these critiques not necessarily true or coming from a genuine place, but some of them are incredibly harmful??

Like...all BL actors are straight when over 10% of the population under 30 identifies as something other than non-het? And being straight always means you're in a long-term committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex? Are y'all out here seriously saying that only straight women consume BLs and ship actors? In 2022, the year of our lord? Come on now...

The funny point about the het allegations and the whole 'y'all don't care about gay rights' sentiment is that a lot of the time it's coming from actual straight women who don't wanna believe their favorite BL guy might actually like boys. Actually, I have a theory about this...have y'all ever noticed that the more feminine-coded or not conventionally attractive the actor is, the more folx are willing to concede he may be queer? But the more masculine-coded or conventionally attractive the actor is, the more staunch non-shippers are that he's straight? Yeah, I'ma need y'all to unpack that...

And let's talk about the reality of ships. I personally don't believe that any actors are currently dating IRL outside of the confirmed ones. I mean believe what you want to believe (that's what I do) but like...don't be weird about it. What kills me is the lengths the girls* go to to prove their faves are straight/can't be dating. It's just strange to me.

For the 'it's none of our business crew', I agree a bit but like speculating about a celebrity's dating life in a fandom space is something inherent in fan culture. This is a tough topic for me that deserves its own post, but suffice it to say, I think that to some extent, gossip about who is dating who is relatively normal. But it can get out of hand and I don't condone that.

Finally, the biggest problem I see with non-shippers is the absolute cock-gobbling that goes on amongst them. When it comes to these BL actors, all of a sudden the girlies* are ready for war and will "do anything to protect [their faves'] image." Like...this is not only homophobic on so many levels but also he's a grown ass man??? If the shippers are not crossing the line, why do you care?

*girls/girlies is gender neutral here.

Off, Tay, Mew, Zee, Tul, Mile, Max K., are all 30+. New, Gun, Seoham, Singto, Earth P., Earth K., Boun, Fluke N., Apo, etc. are all 25+. Most of the industry is 21+. Gentlemen*, these are GROWN men. They DO NOT need your protection. You don't, on these men's behalf, need to bully people for liking their fanservice or for the mere thought that one of them could be dating a costar. Stop trying to "protect their image" in other ways too. If he's 27 and made rape jokes, that man is GUILTY!!! Get him and your dumb ass justification of his behavior off my timeline!!!

*Gentlemen is gender neutral here.

The only actors y'all need to worry about ~protecting are like... *checks big ass Tumblr post w/all the actors ages* the The Tuxedo boys. That's it. The rest of these hoes* are grown and can take care of themselves.

*hoes is a term of endearment here.

Let's be clear here. I totally get it if shippers are crossing the line (pushing their fantasy in the actor's faces). I don't, however, get it when shippers are just acting in line with what the actors encourage. But this gets into another problem around shipping and that is...

The problem with BL pairings and their agencies

BL pairings go to extreme lengths to promote their ships and encourage delulu behavior. Why? Idk, money bouquets maybe? Luxury clothes? Expensive electronics? Food support? These actors fully understand that part of their job is to sell their ship. They go into these situations knowing what makes money, and most of them don't complain nor do they seem uncomfortable with all the adoration for their ship.

In fact, more often than not, I feel like they weirdly egg it on when they do things like concerts/tours/photoshoots where they sing love songs to each other, pretend to get married, pretend to be trying for a baby (??? wtf mew lmao), and use suggestive language that would lead a logical person to conclude they're dating.

And some don't stop there. Some actors will even do these things outside of clear fanservice contexts, which makes it seem even more plausible. You cannot possibly tell me that if 2 straight people did these sorts of things, people wouldn't rationally conclude that the two are dating... It's just not realistic.

There's also the very real fact that actors who are confirmed to be dating do sometimes use their relationship for financial gain. And I'm not even saying this in a nefarious way. Like Both and Newyear had an entire YouTube channel then turned around and acted in a BL opposite each other. You can't tell me they didn't want to commodify their relationship. Of course, that's not saying that shippers should be able to cross the line. That shit is never acceptable, warranted, or excused. But merely thinking they look cute together or discussing their moments online does not make a person an evil fujo (notice it's never a fudan accusation though 😉, but y'all not ready for that convo).

TLDR

My entire point with this post is that shipping can be bad and should not be tolerated when it is. When it's not bad, non-shippers can stfu w/the annoying ass holier-than-thou bs that often comes from a place of wanting to fuck the actors in question. Plus, of-age actors themselves need to tone it down if they don't want people thinking they're dating. But they also don't deserve to put up with the bullshit from obsessed shippers who probably should be criminally prosecuted for non-consensually bribing them into uncomfortable situations. Everyone just be normal lmao.

[seapasture]

maple and harvest for the autumn asks !!

Thank you for the ask, Miki!! ⭐

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

I've always been really interested in clay sculpture! I would love to be left to my own devices in a studio with a block of clay for a day - it has always struck me as a really expressive artform and I really admire the way sculptors are able to create such evocative forms with just their hands and some tools. It's almost like painting but with further dimensionality. I'd be really keen to try it some day - maybe I should buy some airdry clay and start small!

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

Whew, what a question! It's difficult to simply pick one because I identify with various characters for many reasons. Seeing as he's been on my mind a lot today, I will say Mafuyu Satō from given!

Mafuyu is one of my all-time favourite characters - he is very dear to me and makes me feel very seen. When I watched given for the first time, he immediately stood out to me as a character I saw myself in. He is a reserved individual with a flat-affect, but do not be deceived into thinking he is unemotional! Mafuyu cares very deeply, to the extent that he struggles to move on from his past and often finds himself consumed by memories in the aftermath of trauma. The series explores the way Mafuyu has bottled up these feelings, and how this brings him a great deal of pain; he eventually finds a medium to express himself through and it becomes a rich and essential outlet to him. Mafuyu is soft, gentle, but also quietly opinionated and keen to use his newfound voice as a platform to help others. All of this deeply resonated with me as a viewer, and I have held him in my heart ever since.

I also watched the series at a time where I was trying to better understand myself, and it meant a lot to see the depiction of a canonically queer character in an anime which didn't reduce him to a harmful stereotype. Mafuyu falls in love with other boys, and it is not depicted as something weird or, alternatively, wholly character-defining. It is an important part of his narrative, but it doesn't dominate it - he exists as a broadly dimensional character, and it meant a lot at that point in my life to see the way queerness was simply normalised in the series and through Mafuyu's character specifically.

One other thing that struck me about Mafuyu was how deeply autistic-coded he is. Along with all the traits I have listed, Mafuyu appears to struggle with social cues and his methods of interacting with other people are distinctly 'unusual'. He speaks in a quiet monotone and tends to stare people down, but at other times he averts his gaze entirely. He swings between being emotionally intense and distant, and has a tendency to be directly honest with his words. He also exhibits echolalia and as a child is shown to line-up objects and generally play alone as opposed to with his peers. Watching Mafuyu onscreen was so meaningful to me as an autistic person with trauma - it felt like nuances about myself were being conveyed to me in a way that felt realistic and encouraging, as opposed to being alienating stereotypes. When I watched given in 2019, I found this article which explores Mafuyu's autistic traits a bit further - if you're curious, I highly recommend giving it a read. I haven't read the manga yet and (as far as I am aware!) he is not canonically autistic, but I feel like it is such a palpable undercurrent to his character that (in my opinion) it is difficult to interpret him as neurotypical.

Apologies for the ramble! Mafuyu is very beloved to me and I identify with him a lot! I will also give an honourable mention to Ugetsu, who is another deeply relatable character to me from given, but I will spare everyone another ramble!

autumnal asks

[zombeesknees]

I posted 6,436 times in 2022

That's 928 more posts than 2021!

47 posts created (1%)

6,389 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zoewashburne

@sarahssnooks

@harrietvane

@nooowestayandgetcaught

@cor-aeterna

I tagged 6,430 of my posts in 2022

#as queue wish - 6,182 posts

#art - 1,059 posts

#lgbtq - 699 posts

#videos - 471 posts

#our flag means death - 358 posts

#marvel - 321 posts

#wookies cheat and han shot first - 208 posts

#brb loling forever - 198 posts

#kinnporsche - 198 posts

#good vibes - 192 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i love the idea of their jaeger just looking like a giant one of them and the helmet has an led visor that delivers pithy bon mots in french

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hey, folks. I know we’re all currently consumed with Our Flag Means Death brainrot. But now that season one is done, and we’re impatiently awaiting a season two, we’ve got some downtime to fill.

Might I recommend the Sink or Swim duology, co-written by a pair of queer authors, yours truly and @stephanierabig?

What’s Sink or Swim? Well, it’s more queer pirate greatness, with a focus on romance, swashbuckling action, and supernatural sea creatures. We’ve got lesbians and nonbinary characters and canon throuples; we’ve got mermaids (and a particularly hunky merman) and sirens and magic and more! The heroes take on slavers and kill bad men. There’s love across class/racial/species divides, a heavy dose of Found Family, and badass women aplenty.

Click the read more for the synopses and order links!

SINK OR SWIM: THE SEARCH FOR AVELINE

Captain Harry Roberts and the crew of The Sappho are an unusual bunch. Bound by defiance, friendship, and a shared code of honor, these pirates took to the seas to escape marriage, cruelty, and prejudice. To find adventure, freedom, and those they’ve lost. The pirate’s life isn’t an easy one, but the ladies of The Sappho love to rise to a challenge. Whether it’s sailing through treacherous reefs or tangling with treacherous enemies, like Wrath Drew of The Charon… Navigating the cultural waters of merfolk and sirens, or the wild nightlife of lawless ports…. Pursuing romance or preparing for revenge…. Making impressive scientific discoveries or tending to the sick and injured…. Righting the wrongs of society or rescuing the victims of slavery…. Captain Harry and her wild women are ready for anything. Or so they think.

Click here to order Sink or Swim: The Search for Aveline.

———–

SINK OR SWIM: THE SANCTUARY OF NALANI

The bold crew of The Sappho return for more swashbuckling adventure and sizzling romance! Finally reunited with her long-lost sister Aveline, Captain Harry is happier than she’s ever been. But it will take time for Aveline to recover from her ordeals. The tales she has to tell will be hard for her sister to hear. And will the singer and Harry’s first mate, Jo, ever be able to reconcile after everything they’ve been through? Meanwhile, a chivalrous titan comes to Lady Deborah and Katherine’s aid. Harry takes steps to set the penny dreadful stories straight. Kai and Isabelle encounter a unique ghost, and the pirates witness two momentous births. Hope puts her mystical skills to good use to thwart mermaid collectors, Franky finally sees how Maddie got her nickname, the search is on for the Emerald of Tococo, and unexpected reunions expand the crew. Plus: Just how did a one-legged scientist become The Sappho’s cook? Is it true that only women can change into merfolk? And how many golden-hearted pirates does it take to liberate a plantation? The voyage is never a dull one aboard The Sappho!

Click here to order Sink or Swim: The Sanctuary of Nalani.

35 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#4

Hi, I've never seen any Cary Grant movies. Do you have any recommendations on where to start? <3

OH BOY, DO I EVER!

So Cary is, at his core, a Very Handsome Clown.

That first bit is obvious right from the get go, while the second sometimes surprises people -- but the man came from a family of acrobats and vaudeville performers, and he was NEVER afraid to go Full Buffoon in something, thank God.

Which means most of his film career can be boiled down into two primary genres: Screwball Comedy and Handsome Asshole.

In the first, you’ve got (and here’s where my recommendations kick in)

Bringing Up Baby -- Cary is a paleontologist who JUST WANTS AN INTERCOSTAL CLAVICLE FOR HIS BRONTOSAURUS, GOT DAMMIT and yet has to deal with a ROGUE LEOPARD because of ditzy socialite Katharine Hepburn.

The Philadelphia Story -- Cary is a rich dude named C. K. Dexter Haven who’s trying to re-woo his ex-wife, Katharine Hepburn, on the eve of her second wedding, but then reporter Jimmy Stewart’s also there and romantic, drunken shenanigans ensue. (Note: Cary and Katharine did a TON of movies together, all of which were great, and his influence at the studio helped save her movie career when she was deemed “too much trouble/box office poison” by shitty men in Hollywood. For that reason alone he has my undying love and respect.)

Arsenic and Old Lace -- Cary just wants to go on his Halloween honeymoon with his new bride, but it turns out his sweet dear old aunties have been KILLING LONELY OLD MEN as a public service and he’s just found a body in the window seat. Awkward.

His Girl Friday -- Newspaperman Cary tries to convince hotshot reporter (and ex-wife) Rosalind Russell to cover the Execution Story of the Year -- and also to not marry her bland new beau. Things get wild when the condemned man escapes and the whole city goes wild. (Note: This film is extra notable because it’s arguably the first movie to have realistic dialogue where characters frequently speak over and interrupt each other. The patter is FANTASTIC.)

People Will Talk -- World’s Greatest Doctor Cary falls in love with a patient who’s in dire straits due to an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and also has to face down a committee seeking to destroy his career. (This one’s a bit more melodramatic than screwball, and isn’t talked about near as often as his other films, but it holds a special place in my heart.)

As for the second, you can largely thank Hitchcock because there’s

To Catch A Thief -- Retired Jewel Thief Cary is forced to get back into the game/clear his name when he’s suspected of making off with ladies’ necklaces again. This one co-stars the ever-goddessly Grace Kelly and a really cute red neckerchief.

Notorious -- Cold-as-Ice Spy Cary recruits innocent Ingrid Bergman, the daughter of a Nazi, to infiltrate a group of her father’s old friends who fled to Brazil (one of whom is The Invisible Man himself, Claude Rains). Things get rough in a hurry.

North By Northwest -- Ad Exec (think Mad Men) Cary is mistaken for a spy and goes on the lam. Featuring that infamous crop duster chase across the field, and a fight literally on the face of Mount Rushmore.

Charade -- Widow Audrey Hepburn is pursued by several mysterious men who’re after a fortune her thief husband stole just before he was murdered. Can she trust Cary, or is he just after the money?

Houseboat -- Stoic Widower Cary hires the vivacious Sophia Loren to nanny his three unruly children, and hijinks ensue when the family moves onto a rickety houseboat. (This one is more of a Screwball, but he DOES play a Handsome Asshole/Straight Man in this one.)

So yeah. Any one of these movies would be a good place to start, though I most recommend diving into his screwball comedies first. They’re just so fun and zany and silly, with really superb dialogue and goofy characters.

35 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#3

driving home from work tonight, coming around the corner of my cul-de-sac and about to turn into the driveway leading to the garage, i slammed on my brakes HARD.

there was a FOR SALE sign in front of a townhouse three buildings down from ours.

i immediately whipped out my phone, texted a photo to my realtor, called the number on the sign, left a voicemail for the seller’s realtor.

kirsten (my realtor) got back to me and set up a showing at 8 pm. the place had been active online for about two hours at this point.

we did the walk-through. it’s the exact SAME layout of my current place, except with new wood laminate flooring throughout.

told kirsten to put together an offer TONIGHT. just signed all the paperwork for said offer. the seller’s realtor wants the listing to be up for at least two days, so i won’t know until tomorrow night if i’ve been accepted. i offered significantly over the asking price, because that’s how the market is right now, but who knows -- someone could swoop in and offer an extra 1k and i could miss out.

but y’all.

if i actually manage to get this place

it’s less than a MINUTE walk from my current digs. i wouldn’t have to pay a DIME for moving expenses. twads and i could just walk everything over in the course of a day.

if there is ANY higher power out there, please, i am b e g g i n g you, do me this one solid. PLEASE.

37 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#2

See the full post

58 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A Happy NaNoWriMo to all who observe it. May the odds be ever in our favor.

132 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[eosofspades]

actually i'm just gonna rant now rim of the world FUCKS and you can't change my mind

like, look. this is a bad movie in a lot of ways, i agree completely. there are a lot of aspects that should have been different or could have been better. but it's a FUN movie! it's not TRYING to be world-changing and dominate the industry with its spectacularity!! it is a silly fun wild alien invasion movie about teenagers and found family!!!! but all of the parts that get criticized are so not the actual problems this movie has??

like. to start with, i understand why some people might be uncomfortable with the sex jokes and humor but it's not BAD?? the jokes are not being made by adults toward the teens, they are being made BY teens. which is LITERALLY how teens are. i have been 13. you have been 13. i'd go so far as to say this is one of the ONLY movies i have EVER seen that does not infantilize or make a mockery of being in your early teens and it was so REFRESHING to see! this is one of the most accurate representations of a group of wildly different teenagers put together i have ever seen outside of real life.

ZhenZhen isn't reduced to a hapless love interest, she's a brilliant and capable character the whole time and Alex does NOTHING but respect her for the entirety of the movie. Dariush has an entire movie-long growth arc about opening up to people, learning what REAL friends are (yes, he's a stereotypical rich kid, NO that doesn't make him inaccurate; i think he's actually INCREDIBLY accurate for a rich kid in the way he carries himself and treats other people and expects others to treat him), and being selfless. Gabriel similarly gets to open up to his new friends and he's never ever mocked by the narrative or made the butt of jokes for his disability (a mental disability i haven't ever actually seen represented before in movies, especially not about teens and kids). Alex has anxiety and PTSD gets to overcome it, and it doesn't instantly fix itself once he faces his fear - he's still awkward and nervous, because healing is a PROCESS, and anxiety isn't inherently something that needs to be 'cured.'

do i wish Dariush and Gabriel's (INCREDIBLY) queer-coded thing going on had been explicitly shown/confirmed? YES. but that doesn't mean it was bad or homophobic. there is a DIFFERENCE between depicting something (especially queer relationships) in a negative way vs. simply depicting it in a subtextual way.

likewise, not all M/F relationships MEAN that the girl is reduced to a love interest by default! YES, even when (maybe especially when) the boy needs reassurance/support from her and/or she is shown to actively desire a relationship with him. these two are MUTUALLY pining! these two have a clear and strong MUTUAL respect for one another! M/F RELATIONSHIPS WITH A 'WEAKER' MALE CHARACTER DO NOT MAKE THE FEMALE CHARACTER HAPLESS OR BADLY WRITTEN.

on the topic of writing!! YES i do think a lot of the writing could be improved upon and there were definitely points that felt unbelievable (even for an alien movie) like the timing of the alien's appearances, or the fact that a solider asked a teenage boy to save the world, or a lot of things! but at the end of the day it is FICTION, and the characters have NUANCE to them, and having flaws does not make a movie BAD. it's a silly wacky found family story about teenagers saving the world from aliens. it doesn't have to be flawless and puritan.

[luciusgerard]

People seriously want to argue misandry doesn't exist (or that it's not harmful and simply "irritating") meanwhile Miss Robin Buckley whom I love with my whole heart gets to live her truth as a canon lesbian (who likes boobies, as Steve made very clear) meanwhile Will Byers' sexuality is just "up for interpretation." I understand that the actors probably just have to say that because they're not allowed to spoil anything, but just don't talk. Please just don't talk.

Let queer characters be queer. Gay people should be allowed to exist in television or anywhere beyond a shadow of any doubt that they are who they are. And leaving a very obviously queer-coded character's sexual orientation/gender identity "up for audience interpretation" and acting like that's somehow beautiful and progressive is one of the most privileged, allocishet things I've ever heard in my life.

The problem with this whole "they can be whatever you want them to be" mindset is that it will always do more harm than good, no matter how well-meaning the intent. For example, you see an advertisement in a store window of two women hugging and laughing in a way that makes them seem like partners. When asked whether or not it was intended for them to give off couple vibes, the question is often met with some empty phrase about how they can be whomever and whatever you want them to be and it's up for each individual person to interpret however they choose. This may seem beautiful to an allocishet individual, but to a person who is part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, it feels like a slap in the face.

When something is not presented as blatantly, canonically, specifically queer, non-queer people will not view them that way and instead continue on with their lives believing the look between those two women in that poster was one of friendship, not romantic love, and whether subconsciously or not they get to continue on with their lives allowing themselves to view queer relationships, different gender identities, etc. as something out of the ordinary or not normal, something to be ogled at like animals in a zoo. Meanwhile, queer people who point out obvious queer-coding are told to stop twisting things to fit their agenda, that they should not be forcing representation where it doesn't belong, that not everything needs to be gay and the world doesn't revolve around them, simply because they are excited to see something that they feel represents them and their sexual/romantic orientation or gender identity.

All because of two women in a poster. Chapters Indigo.

All because of a man telling his sister he doesn't need a girlfriend as his hand lingers on his friend's longer than necessary. Legend.

All because of a boy revealing himself to be a sea monster to save his friend from a town of bigoted people who want to k/ll him. Luca.

All because of a young woman greeting her childhood rival in a particularly flirtatious manner. Raya and the Last Dragon.

All because of a boy studying his friend's face with wonder in his eyes after that friend made up a breathtaking poem on the spot. Dead Poets Society.

All because of a boy who's spent all the time we've seen of him being referred to by multiple different homophobic slurs and commenting to his best friend about how it can be hard to tell people you're close to secrets about yourself. Stranger Things.

And, when the queer people turn out to be right, that the characters were intended to be queer all along? We're met with, "Well, it's not really an important detail," "It doesn't matter," "So what," or, "I don't care."

How is that progressive?

Make it gay, you goddamn cowards. Queerbaiting is more harmful than a few extra one-star ratings. And, for the love of whatever is holy, check your privilege and DO something about it. Please.

Sincerely,

a queer Stranger Things fan <3

[selfiecharmedlife]

RE: Guilty Queer 2: The Sequel

Way back in 2019, I wrote a piece for this blog about the Guilty Gear series and how it had played a big role in my own journey through life and gender. Guilty Gear is a franchise spotlights the character's growth and allows them to change based on the events of the storyline. I mean, just look at Ky’s transition into a thriving wifeguy and father.

Like the metal genre that inspired many of the game's motifs, Guilty Gear has always been pretty gay. The most recent installment in the series, Guilty Gear: StrIVe (get it because IV is 4), turns the volume up to 11. After the reintroductions of Testament and Bridget after a decade+ long absence, Strive has some of the best queer representation I’ve seen not just in video games but in media overall. 

(Spoiler and note: I’m going to use They/Them and She/Her to refer to Testament and Bridget respectively)

I didn’t expect that either of these characters would come back to the series. In prior installments, Testament was an antagonist turned brooding recluse. Prior to Strive, their story dealt mainly with their lingering guilt and their inability to forgive humanity for what they experienced during the crusades. Their only remaining purpose in life being to protect Dizzy who leaves on her own adventure at the end of the game. 

Fast-forward to their reintroduction and Testament is now at peace with themselves having adopted a more fluid sense of gender coupled as well as an androgynous presentation. With Dizzy gone and too much free time, they also picked up a pages long list of hobbies including streaming, failing to improve at art and building gunpla. There is even some subtext implying Testament and Johnny are more than friends. We just love to see an empty nested gay thriving.

This kind of stuff is what makes this series so special to me. Testament’s arc wasn’t just tacked on for representation points. It was earned through over two decades of storytelling. The focus on character development makes it easy to feel invested in these characters that aged and matured along with me since I picked up a copy of Guilty Gear XX.

High School was not an easy time for me. I was an effeminate kid and used to get regularly beaten up and called slurs by my peers. It got so bad that my parents pulled me out of public school and put me into a private all boys high school. During that same time, I also started to go through puberty (the first on anyway). I learned how to front machismo enough to get by in a school where the halls were permanently stained with axe body spray and the dress code required students keep short haircuts. Meanwhile, my body was changing in ways I didn’t want and didn’t understand. Some nights, I’d lay in bed imagining a different life where I had been born a girl and cry. In the morning, I’d put on a polo shirt (shirt and tie on Church days!) and go back to school.

There has never been a point in my life that I did not know I was trans. From the point I realized boys and girls were different, I knew I would rather be a girl but I resigned myself thinking that I had drawn an unfortunate lot in life. I wanted to make my parents happy and correctly assumed they would not accept a gay child. The 90's hadn't been a kind decade for trans representation either. Finding Bridget in Guilty Gear was a light bulb moment for me. Here was a story about a character pressured by her parents to present in a way she didn’t want while still striving to carve out her own form of masculinity. It wasn’t a 1:1 fit but her story got me thinking that maybe I too could find my own niche that would feel right for me. 

She was the first character I ever “mained” in a fighting game. I played her story modes over and over again trying to tease out every bit of her characterization. Through Bridget, I found and projected onto other otokonoko media, started learning about makeup/cosplay in secret and started eating a lot of soy thinking it would turn into estrogen in my body. 

Over the course of several years, I got interested in weight lifting which led to a desire to build the body to cosplay Gilgamesh from Fate. My connection to Bridget and other otokonoko characters waned as my body became more muscular but my interest in feminine things and expression never fully went away. At a fighting game tournament, my then girlfriend surprised me with a Bridget keychain knowing how much I still loved the character. That keychain has been in my wallet or hanging on my purse ever since.

It took many years, but I did it. Outwardly, I was an extremely attractive man. I looked in the mirror after hitting my goal weight but couldn't see that in myself. I had all the things I thought I wanted and the affirmation of colleagues, friends and family but it felt empty. Sure, I was fine in my day to day life, but I couldn’t envision a future for myself where I wasn’t either dead or a woman.

Fast forward and I’m now approaching my five year HRT anniversary. The endocrinologists I’ve worked with have told me that this is where most people stop seeing non-surgical changes. There have been some tough feelings coming to grips with that. My relationship with my body is better but remains complicated. One of the last things I expected over the last few days was for Bridget to come back into the Guilty Gear franchise.

Strive takes place 7 years after XX where Bridget last appeared meaning she’s probably around the same age I was when I decided to transition. Her story picks up with having the fame, wealth and affirmation she was looking for but feeling lost regardless. After soul-searching with Goldlewis (who I read as a gay man regretting denying his sexuality when he was younger) and Ky, she decides to accept herself as a woman. After having a feminine identity pushed onto her, she’s found her own sense of femininity on her own terms. I cried when I first watched her arcade ending. I cried again when I watched it a second time on stream. I’m crying while I’m writing this. 

It’s hard to express how it feels to have this character reappear at this junction in my life. In some ways it feels like meeting an old friend again and realizing you’re both girls now. On top of that, the way the voice actors, directors and writers handled this scene is incredibly nuanced and sensitive. It’s one of the last things I would have expected from a video game with such sparse dialogue, but this is Guilty Gear. 

Outside of a loud group of weirdos that don’t understand Japanese and insist Bridget being trans is a translation error, the reception I’ve seen has been gushingly positive. People with no prior interest in fighting games are thinking about learning Guilty Gear because they want to learn more about this character.

I still have a lot of feelings about this but I’m not sure how to best express them. I guess I’m just really happy to see my friend again and excited that a whole new generation of people get to meet them too.

Maybe she can be to some other people in need what she ended up being to me.

[m-s-justice]

hi sorry op I'm going to hijack your post for a little bit. I am a professional yapper.

To answer the question: Yes, it is weird.

To elaborate on it:

It really fucking sucks. It is deliberate erasure of his queer coding. A huge facet of his character in his two previous iterations was his queerness. From a bit of a pretentious, thematical perspective, it was another way to make him "different" from the other three and more "alien". (Queer people are always the other and has an long, well documented history of being villainized.) It was shorthand that he was weird and crazy and "gross" considering how crass he is about it. (though, it's fine when Dempsey and Nikolai talk about women in that way. eugh.) But that's subjective interpretation and you can ignore all that.

His queerness was never really addressed with any seriousness and was always portrayed as a joke. Seeing the franchise he (unfortunately) belongs to, you can understand that. For all the bells and whistles of "inclusivity" in the modern games and all the shouts of "woke agenda" from audiences, the moment zombies tries to pander to the general player base (which it DEFINTELY is doing by adopting warzone mechanics and the hud, which is another discussion entirely) he is washed of anything that could be off-putting those general audiences. A queer lead was fine when it was in a niche, campy sidemode and was the joke, but now that Richtofen is a serious character in a serious mode he cannot be that.

(of course, there could be symbolism in that. Read into it as much or as little as you want.)

Now, there are counters. Bisexuality is a thing and erasure is a huge problem for those who identify as it. If Richtofen is bisexual then like good for him, good for him. But also, it's kinda gross to take the ONE ONLY character that references how he likes men and has sex with men and never talks about women and then. give him a wife.

Alternatively, compulsory heterosexuality. He could have felt the pressure to live as a "successful man", which includes having a wife and children, alongside money, prestige, and a respectable job. He could feel shame over his preferences and the need to cover them up with a traditional life. Which is very relatable to many queer people and could be a good jumping off point for a sub-plot where he comes to terms with his queerness.

Now, for my purely subjective opinion. I am dropping all pretenses of "literary analysis" and giving my unadulterated view on it. If you have read this far, thank you :] ! I know this is getting long.

It is so fucking boring.

They fridged his wife and kid. I've seen this narrative played out so many goddamn times its ridiculous. Hell, we've seen it played out before in zombies. (Close enough, welcome back Nikolai Belinski.) If it were up to me, I would have fridged Edward and make his wife "Dr. Richtofen" and the reveal is that she is the main antagonist. It would piss off the fanboys but it would at least be interesting. Instead, we get this bland nothing burger. I'm going to be entirely blunt here: I don't give a single shit about his wife or his child. That's because they aren't people. They are motivations. "Oh no, this character I know nothing about is dead! How sad! Look at how sad that makes our favorite boy!! You should feel bad, too!" Maybe it's my low empathy speaking, but it feels so goddamn contrived that I rolled my eyes at the Liberty Falls trailer. It's so pedestrian. I know that makes me sound ridiculously pretentious and tone deaf considering that this is the megacorporation funny gun game where you shoot the glombies. I'm not expecting anything groundbreaking here, but for a game mode known for being off-the-wall, this is so head bangingly unimaginative that it puts me off from the story entirely. I was so hype in the beginning and then the story drops and. It's just the most bland bullshit ever.

The zombies mode has never had any particularly groundbreaking narratives, but at least it was so... extreme that it was compelling. I hate to say it, but this is just indicative of a larger problem. I don't enjoy digging into Modern vs Old zombies discourse, but a problem I've notices is how extremely easy modern is. Easy to get to high rounds, easy to unravel the lore, they practically are spoonfeeding us. But that's, once again, a different discussion. I have talked for long enough. Thank you for reading.

Sorry guys but Richtofen just suddenly having a wife feels weird

Like- are we just gonna ignore all the utterly diabolical and weird things he has said and done over the years ❓️

[swimmingleo]

Changes: or to take the higher ground before it's too late

I'm going to be real here folks, I cry ugly tears to this song. Bad.

Changes is a song on Cam's album "The Otherside". It's country, it's folk and it's an album a bit influenced by changes in Cam's life (a change of label, personal life). She collaborated with Harry on the song Changes, as she opened for him on a venue and was already working with Tyler Johnson.

From what I gathered: Harry sent her the demo of the song, implying he made most of the writing on this one. What I'm basing this claim on is her interview for Rolling Stones (read it here):

I heard [the demo] and was just like, “Oh, this ache to outgrow something that you don’t want to outgrow!” It felt so good. I normally don’t take outside songs [...]

‼️DISCLAIMER‼️when analysing this song, I'm gonna go from the idea of it being written with a queer mindset (how surprising of me). Cam rendered the song beautifully and it is very much her own, but I believe Harry's input is consequential. After all that's his lil whistle and cute fishsona in the MV.

Sad queer analysis ahead.

Let's analyse the lyrics first:

There is a town

Somewhere down a country road

The speaker describes the town to us, from memory, from experience. "There it is, down the road, can you picture it ?"

I see it now

I take it everywhere I go

The speaker doesn't currently live in the town, they're on the move (nice throwback to the coutry road). But despite all the travelling, they realize the sedentary smalltown never leaves them. It's part of them. It left a mark on them.

The river sways, I can almost hear it now

As if to say, "You're not the only one who wants a way out"

The town is so real to the speaker they can sense it, eyes and ears. But it gets a bit dark: the river sways like it's trying to leave its bed. The river is envious of the speaker who managed to leave. The town is so toxic even nature wants to get away from it. Or the speaker resents the town so bad that they project their own resentment on the river.

So, I go

'Cause I don't wanna feel like I don't know you anymore

I memorize those roads

This is the call for the speaker to leave for good. Their motive doesn't seem to be ambitious or anything grand. They leave because they apprehend a feeling. Apprehending a feeling, something that may not even happen, is the way of an anxious person. Anxiety is the motive of their departure. However, they still memorize the roads leading to the town, just in case. Perhaps one day they'll come back.

Somewhere out in the big wild country

Someone's fallin' in love in a backseat

Givin' it away

Like their hearts won't ever break

Suddenly it's about love ! Young love, one that is lived in the small compartment of a car, somewhere hidden and safe in the big wild country. As if the countryside was unexplored and threatening.

God bless the young hearts sippin' cheap wine

Gettin' drunk with their friends for the first time

Thinkin' nothing's gonna change

'Til everything changes

The speaker looks at the youth with tenderness, wishing them the best. But once again, they're not in the town in the present time, they don't see the youngsters fooling around, they can only guess from first-hand experience. And it's very specific: falling in love, getting drunk with friends and thinking everything's gonna be easy like that forever until it's not and heartbreak ensues.

From there I hop in with the raw queer theme of those lyrics. It started by falling in love and it ended up in a heartbreak. In between, the speaker got drunk for the first time with their friends, people they trusted enough to let go a little, but in the end everything changed. Why ? Alcohol makes you forget about code of conduct, how you're supposed to behave. It makes you say or do things you might not have done sober.

We can interprete this chorus as the beginning of the end for the speaker. It's the only part of the song evocating the past, and it's fun and easy, but it's also where things started to get bad the way they are in the present. Something might have happened that first time the speaker got drunk and it marked the end of innocence and careless childhood, and it probably has to do with love as no other factor is provided apart from falling in love and heartbreak.

They never leave

They're all havin' babies now

Watchin' daytime TV

Livin' off the gossip of a cruel small town

They. With Harry, it's always You, Me, and They. They are having babies, all of them, like it's not a very difficult thing to do, it's just natural. They have the leisure of the day, not a thing to worry about, if not gossip. It's not implied anymore, the small town is downright cruel. Gossip fuels it, but on behalf of someone else, and that someone is most definitely the speaker who left and who describes its inhabitants in the most mundane way, perhaps with a hint of contempt. The speaker seems bitter.

So, I go

'Cause I don't wanna feel like you don't know me anymore

Don't recognize my face

Reprise of the pre-chorus except now, the speaker provides another reason for their departure. Not only they feared they wouldn't know the town anymore, they also feared being seen as a stranger. It's not like the speaker actually changed physically: but it might as well feel like it. Again, apprehension, anguish. As implied in the chorus, things changed to the point where the speaker feels they would seem like a whole another person to the rest of the town, a stranger, a threat to the integrity of the conservatives. So they leave before this shift in perception can happen.

There ain't nothing here for me anymore

They say they don't hear from me anymore

And I don't wanna hear it anymore

The town is not outwardly hostile. It's still the town that saw the speaker as a kid. The town doesn't understand why the speaker left, but the speaker won't give in and get in touch. They want to be as far away as possible, until they don't hear the questions, the river, everything. It's almost like the speaker doesn't carry the town in their heart at all. They want to forget it all, and it hurts everytime the town tries to lure them back in. The way Cam sings it is painful to me man

Somewhere out in the big wild country

I was fallin' in love in a backseat

Givin' it away

Like my heart won't ever break

Had such a young heart sippin' cheap wine

Gettin' drunk with my friends for the first time

Thinkin' nothing's gonna change

'Til everything changes

Yeah, just the confirmation of the chorus being the speaker's experience. I went ahead and assumed it was already lol but it's like a plot twist effect. It's dramatic. It's a personal song to someone.

TO MAKE IT SHORT to me this song is intense and very in touch with the queer experience. Though it describes a specific situation, it is surprisingly not that detailed or full of metaphors the way Harry often writes: this town could be literally any smalltown in the countryside. The backseat could be the one of any car, cheap wine is something any teen can afford. I like to think Harry wrote it for himself but is also aware so many people went through the same thing, and still will. I have to admit I'm heavily biased writing this, as the experience of a queer kid struggling to find their place in a well settled smalltown is familiar.

GETTING DRUNK AND QUEER IDENTITY is an analogy Harry already used in Fine Line when he sang "We'll get the drinks in so I'll get to thinking of her". To drink is to let go, to unveil the most subconscious aspects of yourself you might not want to deal with otherwise. You don't care about judgement and you get to explore those parts freely. In Changes, this is the last memory they recall before stating the changes and their departure. Perhaps getting drunk for the first time would be when they realized they're queer. Or acted upon it, causing their little world to shake. They chose to leave before it eventually wouldn't feel like a choice anymore. There is no life for people like them in a cruel smalltown.

SMALLTOWN BOY

This song reminds me an awful lot of Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat. The song is about a queer boy having to leave the smalltown where he grew up because of persecutions and no future prospects.

Mother will never understand why you had to leave, Smalltown Boy

They say they don't hear from me anymore, Changes

But the answers you seek will never be found at home, the love that you need will never be found at home

There is nothing here for me anymore

Other people not understanding why they leave. People who can't truly empathize even when they mean no harm. They would never understand the speaker's departure, because those people get to find love and have babies and live a peaceful life in the countryside.

You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down

Livin' off the gossip of a cruel small town

Yeah yeah. I really struggle with just seeing this song as nostalgia when such harsh words are being used. I do believe there is a part of fondness for that town, that countryside setting and the early days. But it's not all tender memories.

CHANGES AND ERODA

Of couuuurse we all noticed the adorable purple fish with the pearl necklace. It represents Harry, no question, as it whistles Harry's part. And of couuuuurse we all made the link with the erodian fish, and some even noticed they formed the bluegreener pair when their colors are inverted.

It makes sense for those fishes to be connected with this interpretation of Changes. Both works are about a small town, lost in the nature, where the people are watching, aware of everything that isn't normal, that is peculiar. The early life of the peculiar boy is similar in every way to the early life of the speaker in Changes. The fish in Adore You grows too big for the island and has to leave, and though Eroda makes amends with the peculiar boy, he leaves as well because his future, his fulfilment, is somewhere else. So does the speaker in Changes.

IN CONCLUSION

The more I write posts like this, the more endeared I am by Harry's world. How Harry writes for himself, but also for other people with songs like this. How nature finds its way in all that he does. How grounded he is, how he doesn't seem to forget where he came from. It really is such a rare thing to see in a mainstream popstar's writing and art. How can someone say he sold his soul to LA is beyond me

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

On why “not like other girls” isn’t a useful criticism anymore (and maybe never was)

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about how the way people have been talking about femininity in feminist spaces for the past few years really fails gender nonconforming queer and neurodivergent girls.

In particular, I’ve noticed and seen others talk about the tendency to push the ideas that women never enforce gender norms on other women, never punish other women for not conforming to gender norms, and that female bullies essentially don’t exist because girls would never do that to each other. I’ve also noticed how the “face” of internalized misogyny has become the blatantly queercoded, neurodivergent-coded girl who’s Not Like Other Girls. That’s not an accident.

There are feminist circles made up mostly of women who have never had a problem with being accepted by other women, and their ideas about how girls and women treat each other are very influential. The things is that they don’t realize that how other women treat them and how other girls treated them growing up isn’t universal. They’re unaware that they aren’t accepted just because they’re women but because they’re able to check off a number of conditions that signal to other women that they “belong.” One of the more important conditions is being able to do femininity the right way. They’re unaware that there’s a huge difference between women who can do femininity the right way and choose to subvert it for feminist reasons versus women who can’t do it the right way at all, and that difference has a huge impact on how other women treat you. A lot of these women are probably well intentioned, but that doesn’t make it okay that their viewpoints, which erase women who are marginalized in ways they aren’t, have become so mainstream.

This, of course, has a disparate impact on gender nonconforming queer women, who can’t do femininity right because it leads to things like dysphoria and depression, and autistic women, who often can’t do femininity right because of sensory issues with makeup/tight clothing/certain fabrics, because they’re unable to understand the social rules that govern things like fashion trends or matching clothes, or because their special interests aren’t seen by their peers as acceptable things for girls to be interested in.

The problem arises because women in the first group, the influential feminist circles, seem to have decided that the idea of female bullies is a patriarchal trope pushed by men (girls wouldn’t do that to each other) and that only men enforce gender norms on women (girls are so much more accepting of other girls uwu). Gender nonconforming queer and autistic women, who grew up as gender nonconforming girls, know that this idea is frankly bullshit because they were bullied and ostracized by other girls for not being able to do femininity right or enough, but when we try to talk about this, we’re shouted down by the first group of women as just having internalized misogyny. The entire time I was in middle and high school, I only remember having my appearance insulted by a boy once. It was almost exclusively something other girls did. And yet we’re told that our own lived experiences can’t possibly have happened because “bullying is a boy thing, girls are all friends.” You would think that this conversation would at least be happening in queer circles but even there, gnc queer women are the only ones talking about it, while everyone else is all, “It’s so great how lesbians never enforce gender norms against each other. Anyway, here’s my fanart of a canonically butch character wearing a dress.”

So here’s where the girl who’s Not Like Other Girls comes in. The stereotypical girl who’s Not Like Other Girls is blatantly queercoded and blatantly neurodivergent coded, and that’s not an accident. It’s because those are the girls who are disproportionately likely to be rejected by other girls because of their inability to do femininity right, and that’s something that the women who love to talk about the girl who’s Not Like Other Girls have subconsciously picked up on.

Now, I’m not going to try to claim that no one who thinks they’re not like other girls has a sense of superiority about it, but overwhelmingly, the girls who think that aren’t thinking “I’m not like those dumb sluts.” They’re thinking “why am I not like the other girls.” For me (an autistic lesbian), my Not Like Other Girls phase was never about thinking I was better than everyone else. It was an attempt to explain to myself why I was being picked on and excluded by other girls, even the ones who were my friends. I knew I was different from other girls because I was told that by other girls. And the idea that girls who hang out mostly with boys are doing it because they hate other girls is largely false. Lots of teenage gnc queer and autistic girls hang out mostly with boys because they find that there are fewer unspoken social rules between boys, boys are less judgmental about their appearance than other girls, girls their age are starting to develop interests they find alienating, and/or because they’ve just given up on trying to befriend girls after years of rejection. It’s not internalized misogyny, it’s a trauma response.

All this vilification of the girl who’s Not Like Other Girls really accomplishes is making gender nonconforming girls and women into the main perpetrators of internalized misogyny and gender conforming girls into the main victims. It should give us pause that our idea of a stereotypical victim of internalized misogyny is a thin, blond, pretty queen bee-type and our stereotypical perpetrator is a queercoded, neurodivergent-coded girl with no friends, because it’s a blatant example of homophobia and ableism in mainstream feminism. It’s because the women with the loudest voices want to feel like they’re always the victims and never to blame. It should concern us how many posts are dedicated to condemning girls who think they aren’t like other girls when I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a single post condemning girls who bully other girls for not conforming to femininity. That’s an incontrovertible example of internalized misogyny that’s honestly a much more widespread problem, and everyone either wants to pretend it isn’t happening or has decided they’re okay with.

Gender nonconforming queer and autistic women grow up being ostracized for their gender nonconformity and no one can even make a post telling them its okay to be the way they are without having to add about a dozen disclaimers to avoid hurting the feelings of gender conforming women and still having 20 people in the replies reminding them that “some girls like to wear makeup :)” Meanwhile people will make 380 posts about how feminine girls should be celebrated without a single thought to how that contributes to the alienation and exclusion gnc queer and autistic girls are experiencing. Not everyone needs to learn to love pink or whatever. It’s so okay for gnc women to have deep negative feelings towards femininity as a concept when it was the reason for their abuse at the hands of other girls. That’s not internalized misogyny. 

Anyway, I remember around the turn of the decade when the idea of the girl who was Not Like Other Girls really took off and I remember being able to picture exactly who it was about, but looking back, I can’t for the life of me remember whether that person was someone who actually existed irl, or whether it was the result of a popular media trope that everyone just assumed was also a problem irl, or whether it’s always just been the most acceptable women with the loudest voices blaming gender nonconforming queer and autistic women for something we weren’t doing.

mod k

tl;dr - Blaming girls who Aren’t Like Other Girls for internalized misogyny is victim-blaming bullshit. Girls thinking they aren’t like other girls is a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.