#the most preciouses ever <3

[god-of-a-thousand-demons]

this is one of my favorite nanako moments she can be so sassy we hardly see it bc shes just heart eyes around her new friends and family a true angel i want to see nanako a year into being friends with yosuke and hes just like he was with teddie 'ill argue w a 9 year old idgaf' i want nanako to read yosuke's ass and kanji laughs at him for it and yosuke gets embarrassed lmaooo get him for me nanako

[gothsuguru]

black is the color of my true love’s hair

♡ your devotion to suguru is second to none - you would do anything for your beloved! bonded by true love, loyalty, & utter admiration, these are a few moments where suguru has been unbelievably thankful for you & smitten by your acts of love & service! (a story from my suguru geto: valentine’s day fic list!)

contents: f!reader, no curses au, reader is short/blushes/has hair that can be ran through with fingers! slightly suggestive, cursing, mentions of depression/anxiety/self-destructive behaviors. but i promise this is a soft, fluffy fic! it’ll make sense when you read it! dividers are from @saradika! w.c: ~ 11.5k

a/n: belated birthday fic for my beloved husband suguru geto <3 the title of the fic is based on a rendition of the song “black is the colour” by celtic woman! imo it’s the most loving & devotional song i’ve ever heard so i wanted to do a story based on those themes with my favorite black-haired man <3 MY true love <3 p.s. this is my first time ever writing an actual fic & it got a bit long because i got carried away so please bear w me! i hope you enjoy and happy valentine’s day! <3 MWAH!

it’s a simple action, really.

you tilt your head slightly to the right and lift your face up to gaze adoringly at him through your lashes, a mirthful twinkle dancing in your eyes. a soft smirk coupled with a light blush adorns your angelic features, a precious look, which suguru has come to be utterly enchanted by due to the loving action that follows immediately after.

you catch him off guard the first time you do it.

the first time you kiss suguru’s knuckles, he falters.

it’s the way that you do it. naturally & effortlessly, as if it’s like second nature, that causes suguru to stop in his tracks and dedicate all of his attention to you.

his mesmerizing gaze is directed at you, molten gold eyes inquisitive. irrevocably fond.

he attentively watches as you softly grab his large warm hand in your small cold one. his hands are slightly rough yet supple due to his religious use of the honey-almond handcream you bought him earlier in the week.

he notices, rather than intertwining your fingers with his own and holding them, you smoothly bring his hand up to your face, wrapping your digits loosely around the perimeter of his long slender fingers.

your thumb gingerly caresses his ring finger (the one that holds a devout vow of eternal love), your featherlight touch raising wonderful shivers across his body. with the utmost care, you delicately — as if he’s made out of precious china, brush your supple glossed lips against his fingers, relishing in the coolness of his promise ring that encases both his aquamarine birthstone & your own.

your low-lidded enamored eyes never leave his affectionately curious ones — both of you preciously holding the other ones gaze, eyes locked in a staring contest of love.

utterly content with his undivided attention, you gently press a soft kiss to his knuckles.

a sign of affection.

an act, a promise, of complete & utter devotion.

his pierced eyebrow raises slightly due to the suaveness of your actions. he tries to gather his bearings, his brain fuzzy with your actions — did you actually just do that?

suguru’s amber eyes widen significantly, soft black eyelashes fluttering like raven wings against the tan of his cheek that’s blushed with a hue of raspberry red. mouth slightly ajar in surprise, his silver lip ring glints like starlight in the sunset daze of the evening, while his pierced tongue is pressed against his own cheek to stop himself from becoming a bumbling, stuttering mess.

if he speaks — he wholeheartedly believes all that’ll tumble out of his lips will be unabashedly fervent divulgances of: “i love you. i love you. i love you.”

adoration blooms out of his ribcage like a meadow of daffodils, sweetness enveloping around his heart, soft ivory petals and sage green tendrils wrapping themselves delicately over his bones. he reckons that if you couldn’t hear his heartbeat hammering out of his chest before, you definitely can now.

it’s almost as if his brain is in clouds of cotton candy, his mind in a sweet haze of shock, love, & affection when he finds himself whispering airily, “why’d you do that?”

tenderly stroking away silky strands of ink-black hair that wisp around his ethereal face, the fond smile you grace him with is saccharine sweet, “i felt like it.”

unbelievably charmed, he can’t help the giggle that spills its way out through his mouth like honey, a syrupy-sweet sounding little thing. his shaky fingers cover his rosy lips slightly as he laughs bashfully. he’s a bit shy because of it, but you don’t think a sound has ever been so melodious to your ears. you’d get down on one knee to kiss his knuckles reverently as many times as he wants just to hear his laughter over and over and over again.

the way you see it, it’s as if you were put on this earth to devote yourself to him.

like a loyal knight kisses the ring on the hand of their king with the utmost veneration, you’d do the same. without question, worshipping the ground whereupon he stands like a faithful follower would do to a cult leader. you figure in all of the other multiverses, you’re ultimately doing the same thing as what you’re doing in this one: loving him — devoutly. earnestly. passionately.

if the look of ardent rapture on your face is anything to go by, suguru might faint with the rush of pure love & endearment that flows like nectar throughout his veins.

he feels his blush bloom over his warm face which rushes towards the tips of his pierced ears, a clear sign of you flustering him.

wanting to gain back some semblance of control of the situation, he puts on a poker face, a gentleness in his eyes & a fondness in his smile still shining through. his black-nail polished thumb grazes your soft wind-chilled cheek. a beacon of warmth. a caress of admiration accompanied with a well-maintained façade of smoothness. a comforting touch for the both of you.

“well, aren’t you just so sweet.” suguru can’t help the coo that escapes his cherry red lips when you look up at him with your precious doe eyes, “my pretty little baby.”

he softly pinches your cheek, admiring the soft plush. he cradles your cheek with the same hand, & carefully smoothes down your hair that’s been strewn around a bit by the evening wind with the other. suguru pats your head in a nurturing manner in the process, another fond coo escaping him when he sees you preen at the attention he gives you, affectionately watching you revel in the flattering treatment.

your eyes widen with joy, always keening with any praise he showers you with. “i’d like to think so! now come on sugu, your pretty little baby has a lil surprise for you!” you playfully wink at him, your smile beaming like sunshine.

your warm eyes map his stunning features reverently, memorizing his elegant visage. drinking in his otherworldly beauty, as if you could never get enough.

while you openly admire him, suguru does the same to you. he doesn’t think that he’s ever been this enamored by a human being before. you’re the center of his universe, and he can’t imagine his life without you. all he can see in this moment is: you. his intense gaze holds yours as he captures both of your cheeks in his warm gentle hands, enveloping himself in your space. the perfume he bought you for your birthday invades his senses, clouding his mind in a welcomed haze.

all he can think of at the moment is: you. you. you.

all he can repeat in his mind is: mine. mine. mine.

his eyes gleam with a newfound sense of desire, wanting to show you exactly what you mean to him. what you do to him.

golden eyes turned onyx, dilated with desire, flit to your mouth. his thumb outlines your pretty lips that are begging to be devoured by his own, his right hand moving to cradle the back of your head, tilting your face up so he can comfortably take control. long, slender fingers splay across your hair, bringing you closer to him, slightly tugging the strands to hear and feel you gasp against his mouth. he presses his left hand against the small of your back, coaxing you further into his body, fusing you both together. not wanting to be even a millimeter apart. he just can’t get enough of you.

it’s like a magnetic gravitational pull when he presses a soft, sensual kiss against your glossy lips. the cold metal ball in his pierced tongue explores the wet cavern of your mouth, and he can’t help but moan softly into you, relishing in your warmth.

he prays to the stars above, hoping that he can convey his sincere love, desire, & admiration for you like this. he breathes life into you and you do the same to him. kissing you with such vigor & passion, he feels like melding your lips & souls together wouldn’t be enough.

suguru burns with a hunger to become one with you.

he pleads to the universe that the intensity of his desire and yearning is relayed to you — that you crave it, crave him as much as he craves you.

with the way he’s ravenously kissing you, and how you’re excitedly kissing him back, it seems like you certainly received the message.

suguru thinks it’s a little bit funny, but very much endearing, when you run around the living room like a bumbling fawn.

you zig-zag around the counter, making sure you pick up the purse that suguru got for you on your previous anniversary, an acrylic charm of your favorite actor clinking against the metal fastenings. (another gift that suguru got you, begrudgingly he might admit, because who the hell is that toji fushiguro guy anyways…)

you double check that all the contents you need are inside: phone, charger, lip gloss, mini perfume, credit cards — AH! you run back to your room like a panther, not wanting to forget the most important thing you need for tonight!

he can’t help himself but laugh at your frazzled antics. “babe, you can calm down! we’re going on a picnic, it’s almost impossible for us to be late!” suguru admires your punctuality, he thinks it’s sweet how you never want to keep him waiting.

“FORGOT SOMETHING, I ALMOST DIED.” you rush back to him, a big goofy smile on your face.

“baby… you’re heaving.” suguru covers his mouth, trying not to giggle out loud at how out of breath you are just by running a few feet. you’re so fucking cute.

“damn…” you huff out, hands on your knees, trying to get a deep breath in. “don’t call me out like that.”

he can’t help the laugh that bellows out of him, “sorry angel, now let’s go!” he places his large hands against your back, ushering you out the door quickly, “you still haven’t told me where we’re going.”

walking you towards his black mercedes, he opens the passenger side for you. with both hands on your hips, you remind him that, “it’s a SURPISE!”

after around 45 minutes of both of you jamming out to your playlist in the car, poking his cheek while childishly asking “are we there yet?” just to annoy him for fun, and ultimately being a proper passenger princess who tells him to “just trust me!” when he asks where you two are going, you both arrive to your destination.

and the sight that he sees, enthralls him. he whistles, beguiled by the view. from here, he can see how pretty and bright the stars are, it almost looks like they’re twinkling a “hello!” at the both of you. suguru thinks to himself, a picnic here at night? he’s unbelievably mesmerized at how your brain works sometimes.

he turns to face you, watching how engrossed you are in your phone, tapping away incessantly. wanting your full attention, his fingers grab your chin gently to force you to look him. he jokingly purrs, “if you took me here to kill me, i’ll have you know… sitting on my face would be much easier. much more preferred.”

you raise your eyebrow questioningly.

“because… it’s dark and we’re in random clearing.”

you stare at him blankly. “okay, you’ve hung out with me waaaay too much because i literally said that pick-up line to you last week and now you’re blatantly stealing it… like a THIEF. and also? you drove us here. who the hell is gonna drive me back if you’re dead?”

his brows furrow and he pouts, annoyed that you didn’t fall into his arms and blush because of his (your) raunchy words. he turns away from you and opens his door to leave, brattily huffing out a, “hmph. shut up, dumbass.” with his head held up high in the air, he struts away pompously to the trunk, opening and closing it loudly. a picnic basket with food you both made together in one hand, and a soft quilt of constellations made by haibara & nanami for suguru’s previous birthday in the other.

how fitting.

you loudly snicker to yourself while getting out of the car, amused by your boyfriend’s spoiled antics. while suguru is front of you admiring the view and trying to find a spot to set up, you admire the view in front of you. whistling out a, “damn…” suguru scoffs at your flirty behavior and gives you the finger. you send an air kiss back, and he playfully swats it away.

when he turns away again, you smile to yourself dreamily. taking out your phone, you click a quick candid of him against the night sky, admiring at how he almost resembles a painting.

the cream of his sweater and the contrast of his cascading ink-black hair entrances you, the silver hairpin you got him during a couple’s trip to kyoto in the top of his bun. the dangling deep violet amethyst gem glints in the moonlight, making him look even prettier. he turns his head to the left, eyebrow piercing and his lip piercing no longer in your peripheral, rather you see his eyebrow slit — a scar which you’ve softly traced over many times. his side profile allures you effortlessly, the angular bridge of his nose and the soft cupid’s bow of his lip offering up a beautiful contrast that is suguru: graceful yet strong.

shaking your head slightly, you break out of your trance.

you go back to the task at hand, opening your notes app and ticking off the word at the top of your list.

stargazing. ✔️

you remember suguru mentioned it in passing one day when you were both in the blossoming stage of your relationship. it was on his date bucket-list ever since he could remember, and of course you wanted to be the one who would take him!

you guide him over to a little meadow overlooking the city. surrounding you both are beautiful moonflowers, their sweetness enveloping your sinuses. the air is cool and crisp, and in the distance you hear the faint chirps & buzzing of hummingbirds along with the faint caws of ravens. you’re proud of yourself that you were able to find a place this picturesque. (even to this day, you still have an urge to impress suguru in any way that you can.)

both of you sit on the quilt suguru sets down, the homemade cloth providing an extra layer of cushioning that you feel atop the softness of the grass.

you’re upon the hill clearing, close enough to the city that you can comfortably drive back while still seeing a few citylights from where you are, but far away enough that the light pollution wouldn’t interfere with the date you had planned.

“it’s pretty.” suguru glances at the view, praising you while taking out the tonkatsu sandwiches, pasta salad, & chocolate covered strawberries from your picnic wicker-basket. you pick up a bag of chips and start munching on it while he lays down on his back propped up on his elbows, opening up a banana milk to sip on.

“i’m glad you like it,” your words are muffled in between loud crunches and fast chewing, “i was worried we’d be attacked by a mountain lion or a swarm of bees or some shit.” you say honestly.

he blinks. “i wasn’t worried about that.” sighing out a deep breath, he whispers, “but i am now.” he takes another sip of his banana milk in case it’s his last.

he sits up and picks up the tonkatsu sandwich, handing you the bigger half. “but seriously, how’d you find this place?”

you take the smaller half from his grasp instead, switching with him. taking a bite, you hum happily. suguru is such a good cook. he smiles at you fondly and you answer him, “i was searching up good places to look at the stars. out of all the pictures and reviews, this was the prettiest one.”

you look up at him and swear that you see an actual twinkle in his eyes.

“stargazing?” he pushes his bangs back behind his ear, leaning into your face. loudly repeating, “STARGAZING???” nose pressed against yours, an excitedly manic look in his eyes.

he throws his head back and waves his arms in the air, lamenting, “i should’ve brought my fucking telescope!”

he directs his gaze back towards you, pointing his finger at you accusingly while demanding, “we are coming here again in the future, okay? i’ll bring all of my astronomy gear: a telescope, binoculars, a constellation book, and oooooh! maybe i’ll also bring…” you unintentionally tune him out, looking at him adoringly with stars in your eyes.

this is what you wanted to see.

if you’re being honest with yourself, the best thing to experience in your life is getting to see suguru act genuinely excited. his eagerness to discover new things is infectious, and the man before you is the real suguru: dorky, eclectic, passionate.

the graceful, poised, & elegant man you see when he meets new people and the air of sultriness & suaveness he has when he takes you on fancy dates are utterly enchanting & beguiling, but you think that suguru you see before you now — the excitable nerd, is the most beautiful.

he flicks your forehead, breaking you out of your reverie. “have you been listening to a word i’ve been saying?” he scolds you while pinching your cheek extra hard.

“yeah, you want a telescope so you can look at the stars. also, you look really pretty… the stars ain’t got nothin’ on you.” you rest your chin in your hand, smirking at him, reveling in the blush that paints his cheeks. it was just the cold wind!, he’d tell you later while playfully smacking you upside the head.

you continue, “plus, it’s really hot when you’re all stern and tellin’ me off. what’s my incentive to listen to every word you say if i can get you scoldin’ me instead?” you tilt your head against your hand, grin wide, teeth bared. the masochist in you wants him to scold you even further.

he crosses his arms at you, muscles bulging out of his cream cableknit sweater. your eyes drink up the adonis right in front of you, mentally undressing him. “instead of hitting on me, how about i explain all of the constellations to you in extreme detail?” he purrs to you while biting his lip. he flips his hair over his shoulder, sultrily looking at you. you see right through him of course, knowing that he’s appeasing to your attraction to him just so he can ramble about ursa major, ursa minor, & the big dipper.

frankly. it works.

he holds his hand out to you. a truce.

you shrug. “if you do it like a hot stern professor, then sure.” you both shake on it.

he rolls his eyes playfully, trying to stop the smile that threatens to creep up on his face. “ugh. fine. be quiet and come over here.” he picks you up underneath your thighs and puts you in between his legs. your back pressed against his warm, sturdy chest. he kisses you on the head, appreciative of your indulgence of him.

you giggle cutely and move yourself down, laying your head in his lap while he softly plays with your hair. his lovesick gaze, fond smile, & warm thighs envelope your body, filling your senses with suguru. he leans down and presses a soft kiss against your forehead, an addicting contrast of his cold lip ring & warm soft lips electrifying your skin.

he pops a single chocolate-covered strawberry in your mouth, and you playfully nip his finger. he traces your lips softly and starts playfully lecturing you about the constellations that grace the night sky.

he excitedly points at a cluster of three bright stars, “and that is orion’s belt!”

you point at a bright star in the night sky a few lightyears away from it, grin unbelievably wide.

“i think you might be missing one, babe. and you call yourself the modern-day galileo. heh.” you playfully tease him.

suguru rolls his eyes, “okay first of all, i have never called myself that. second of all — excuse me?” his scoff is slightly haughty, & he can’t help the indignant laugh that escapes out of him. “alright, since you know so much — enlighten me then, what’s that one called?”

“hmm… i believe it’s sugurugeto-020390.”

suguru’s eyes widen ridiculously like flying saucers.

“what?”

you push yourself out of his grasp to hurriedly pull out a certificate from your purse and hand it to him. you sit next to him cross-legged, gauging his reaction.

“trust me, i wish i could get a better name for it, but it turns out there’s a lot of suguru geto’s in the world.”

pausing for a moment, you want to make sure that your boyfriend knows that he’s the only suguru geto on your mind.

giving him bedroom eyes, you purr, “none like you of course.”

he blinks. “what?”

your face falls comically, and you pout, “that bright star in the sky is yours.” you point at it haphazardly. “you’re the light of my life, you illuminate my life, you’re the sole star and center of my universe, blah blah blah… so i figured… ya know…!” you gesticulate wildly, and in the moonlight suguru can see the slight blush on your cheeks. your eyes looking everywhere else but his own.

you’re shy.

he can feel the sinus pressure building up against his nose and the tears glaze over his eyes.

you scratch the back of your head, trying to save face. you quickly backtrack, “i know it’s a bit cheesy and honestly, technically, this was probably a scam, but i figured it was the thought that counts and–”

“shut up.”

you look up at him in a state of shock, “HAH???”

he grabs your cheeks, his silver rings cool against your face, and smashes his lips against your own, teeth slightly knocking against yours. in his excitement, he pushes you down and straddles you, pinning you down to the grass — his body a comforting weight on top of you. he kisses you breathlessly, moaning loudly in your mouth. you can both taste the fruitiness of the strawberry on each others tongues, your own being pressed softly against his piercing. you pull away softly, needing to take a breath.

and the sight above you is one you don’t think you’ll ever want to forget.

suguru’s seductive low-lidded gaze is locked on you, parts of his bangs wisped across his face from the momentum of pouncing on you. he’s breathing heavily, and you can feel his rapid heartbeat hammering against yours, his nipple piercings slightly poking into your chest. a rosy blush spreads itself on his cheeks like a strawberry jam, and you don’t think any view could compare to the one you’re blessed to see now.

his lips are red and glossy, aching to kiss you again. you nod softly, begging him to continue. he slots his lips back with your own, tracing your bottom lip with his tongue before he bites down sensually, groaning loudly when he hears you whimper. he curls an arm underneath your body while kissing you passionately, bringing you closer to him, enveloping you into his space. all you can think about in this moment is: suguru. suguru. suguru.

pulling away once more, you peer into pools of gold. with every fiber of your being, you truly believe that his eyes carry the most beautiful stars — a milky way of ochre and obsidian.

never casting your fond gaze aside, you intertwine your hand with his, bringing it to your lips, kissing each knuckle fervently.

his alluring gaze follows your devoted actions. butterflies brush their wings together inside his stomach, the flutter erupting throughout his whole entire being. he thinks that in the moonlight, underneath the canopy of stars that…

you are the most brightest.

the most beautiful.

the most meaningful.

“honey! i’m hoooooooome!”

you feel unbelievably ecstatic that you can finally get to see your dear boyfriend after two weeks of being apart!

you already have the whole day planned out, perhaps you two can get takeout from your favorite local restaurant and watch anime together! you giggle happily to yourself while thinking about how you both can snuggle and have a cozy day in.

you take your shoes, coat, & purse off by yourself, wondering if suguru is out. usually by the time you’re at the door, suguru is already there welcoming you back with a massive kiss and a “missed you baby.” softly whispered in your ear, especially if you go on a long trip…

hmm, that’s a bit odd.

now that you’re looking around…

the apartment is in complete disarray.

it looks like a tornado blew through the whole place.

you shuffle in further… and dirty dishes are piled in the sink, overflowing dangerously. suguru’s clothes, random knick knacks, and pillows are strewn about as if he threw them all in a fit of rage. crumbs litter the carpet and you see what looks to be dirt tracks on the floorboards. the laundry is stacked high and the air is stuffy, it seems like no windows were opened in the time that you were away.

worriedly, you run into your shared bedroom.

suguru is there, thank god safe & sound, but what you see breaks your heart.

he’s laid face down, the left side of his cheek smooshed into the pillow, black tear tracks staining the fabric… he must’ve cried on a day when he went out? the bedroom is filled with dirty clothes on the floor, and you’re pained to smell the stench of cigarettes in the air. it’s light… maybe he only smoked one… but the fact that he felt the need to smoke at all, shattered your soul.

especially considering he quit ages ago when he started dating you.

you walk towards him lightly, not wanting to scare him off. his eyes are open and he looks at you… but he’s not really looking at you.

“you alright there, precious?” you softly whisper.

a perfunctory question. you know he’s not. he knows he’s not. but you know he’s in no state to answer any questions that you have.

“mhm.” he hums quietly. lethargic, not even having the willpower to answer with anything but a light rasp.

you brush back his bangs, and he shudders. his hair is greasy, oil-black hair clumping together in some places, matted in others. his lips are slightly chapped, a bit bloodied no doubt from his habit of biting his lip when he’s anxious. his fingernails are no stranger to the same action, stubbed and jagged down to the nailbed, his black nail polish chipped. bright amber eyes which often have a gentle look in them have turned into a dull ochre, obsidian pupils overtaking his irises.

they’re still gentle because he’s looking at you… but if you’re being honest with yourself, his eyes remind you a bit of a black hole right now.

vacant of light.

you press a soft kiss against his forehead and leave the room momentarily, thinking to yourself if anything can be done about this situation.

you decide to shoot satoru a quick text, seeing if he can help you out a bit with what you want to do.

you breathe out a sigh of relief, a small smile gracing your face. you can always count on satoru. the man may be silly and eclectic, but at the core of his being, he’s someone who will always take care of and look out for his friends. he’s the type of person to drop anything to help those that he loves and adores.

(sometimes you think that satoru really was an angel put onto earth.) (but then you think that he was probably cast out of heaven for being a little shit.) (regardless, you still fucking love him for it.)

you walk back into the room, and lay your head against your pillow that is next to suguru’s. (it smells like him… he must’ve hugged it while you were away.)

cradling his cheek, you quietly say, “satoru’s also back from his business trip babe, he’ll be coming in about 10 minutes. how about you get a bit of sunshine with him, hmm?” he blinks slowly, nodding softly.

you hold his hand to help him up out from the bed, but he shoos you away, admonishing you slightly, “i can do it myself.”

you nod and leave him to it, mentally preparing yourself for the behemoth cleaning task ahead when he leaves.

suguru pads slowly into the bathroom and puts his hair up in a high ponytail with a hairtie he stole from you, not wanting to deal with it. he washes his face and gets a wet rag to pat down his body and underarms, not having the energy to shower. putting on a random black sweatshirt, he douses himself in your favorite cologne of his. he puts on your strawberry lip balm while popping a piece of mint gum in his mouth and with a tired sigh, he exits the bathroom, dragging his feet to where you are at the door.

he kisses your temple gently. planting a soft kiss against his knuckles, you think your eyes deceive you when you see a semblance of a twinkle in his eyes. “love you baby. i’ll bring you back somethin’.” he rasps out softly.

even in his darkest times, even when his mind is playing tricks on him, he’s still thinking of you. wanting to take care of you. desiring to show his affections towards you in any way that he can.

you simply want to return the favor.

satoru arrives at your doorstep wearing a crisp white button up and black tinted glasses, his snowy white hair shining like starlight thanks to the delicate sunbeams that hit him. he hugs suguru gently, placing a soft kiss against his temples. suguru, dressed in all black just nods his head lightly at him. he’s not really interested in going out but knows that you two will force him regardless, reminding him that getting sunshine and looking at different scenery is important.

as they get into the car and back out of the driveway, suguru waves lightly at you, eyes tired yet gentle. satoru winks at you, proud & thankful that suguru has someone that cares so deeply for his mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.

waving them both a goodbye, you go back inside and put on your cleaning playlist, ready to get started.

the first thing you do is open up the blinds and windows, wanting to air out the stuffiness that had built up over the past two weeks. considering the fact that suguru got a tinge paler and his undereyes looked sunken, you don’t think he got even a single beam of sunshine or any semblance of fresh air in the time that you were away.

padding over to the kitchen, you begin by doing the dishes. wearing your matching baby blue dishgloves, you get to work. it seems like suguru got anxious by seeing all the dishes piled up and started using some paper plates, which would explain the overflowing trash as well. the dishes are caked with food, but soften a bit by dousing them in water along with spritzing a powerwash grease-lifting spray. you sigh happily, glad that this will make it easier. after washing, drying, and putting away the dishes, you turn your attention to the kitchen surfaces.

you wipe down the counter and dining table in circular motions with a lemon-verbena spray, disposing of any old particles of food and random dust that lay upon the surfaces. already in your cleaning mode, you start to feel a little bit more energized.

opening up the refrigerator, you see that it’s been practically untouched. unfortunately, you gag when you smell rotting veggies and fruits, promptly rushing to your kitchen cabinet to get your trash bag to toss any old food away. you mentally remind yourself to get groceries in the morning, maybe if suguru is feeling a bit better after today you both can go together!

walking into the living room, you get your cleaning towel to beat the dust out of all the furniture. usually you & suguru both start with the bedrooms, but this time you figure you’d start with the living room as it’s in a bit of a better shape than the bedroom.

after you finish beating the living hell out of your cushions, you get to swiffering, mopping, and vacuuming — humming and singing loudly to suguru’s favorite songs on your shared cleaning playlist.

you go into the bedroom and start by gathering all of the clothes on the floor and the ones in the hamper to put inside the washing machine. you look around and do the same with the bedsheets and pillow cases, rubbing the eyeliner out of suguru’s pillowcase with some makeup remover first.

cleaning out all of the drawers, you make sure to throw away any random trash and only keep what’s necessary. clutter bothers both you and suguru, so you do your best to try and minimize that. you pick up empty bottles off the nightstand and throw them away. at least he drank a bit of water.

turning your attention to your bookcase, you wipe down the multitude of pictures of you & suguru that he put in frames.

there’s a few of both of you smiling after going on cute dates — suguru’s grin unbelievably wide while flipping off the camera and holding you close to his chest as you laugh loudly. there’s ones of you gazing at him adoringly, your love for him seeping out of the picture. there’s others of him looking at you — a soft fondness in his eyes, an even softer smile gracing his lips, his affectionate gaze tuning out anyone and anything else that isn’t you. both framed and pinned to the wall are multiple candids you two took of one another when the other wasn’t looking or paying attention, bursts of love immortalized in random moments of time.

you tell yourself that the sniffle you do is just because of the dust.

clearing your throat slightly, you look around proudly. you’re done!

you spray each room with a cotton spray, inhaling the fresh linen scent happily. you light up a teakwood candle that suguru bought a few weeks ago in the living room and put a sandalwood diffuser in the bathroom, freshening up the place. you take a well-deserved shower, feeling properly clean and accomplished.

by the time you’re done, it’s around 5:30 in the evening and satoru texts you that they’re on their way and will be back home in approximately 30 minutes.

you take a can of sprite out of the fridge and onto the counter, while simultaneously placing an order for cold zaru soba noodles from suguru’s favorite local spot. you place another order at your best friend sukuna’s bakery for suguru’s most beloved dessert: matcha crepes. you figure ordering a bouquet of flowers would be a cute, fun little surprise too — anything to put a smile on suguru’s face.

you also do the same for satoru, a little thank-you present for when he comes back to his own apartment. you order a bouquet of narcissus & holly for him, internally hoping that he likes it while also ordering all of his favorite desserts from his favorite bakery! knowing with your entire soul that he will happily fill himself up on raspberry macarons, strawberry cake, vanilla mochi, chocolate donuts, & zunda cream kikufuku to his heart’s desire.

with a pep in your step, you walk back into the bathroom to get the most important part of your night started.

suguru finds his heart a bit lighter when he comes back to your shared home. he didn’t want to admit it to satoru… but he actually had a fun time eating, shopping, and listening to his hilarious stories about his shitty business trip. he’d be lying though if he said that he wasn’t most excited to see you after a long, eventful day.

in his hand are a bunch of shopping bags from stores that satoru dragged him to — clothes from your favorite stores, accessories & bags that you most wear, shoes that you need, books & knick knacks that you like — all for you. he bought a few for himself of course, but he mainly wanted to spoil you. he can’t help the small smile that creeps up on his face when he thinks about how excited you’ll be to see the gifts he got you.

thinking back on it, the guilt and shame he felt in his heart when you first saw him earlier today ate him up. he didn’t even know why he was feeling the way he was feeling so strongly. it was coincidence that it coincided with your trip, and he made sure that he would sound fun and happy over text as to not worry you. it wasn’t until a few days from when you were actually set to arrive that he didn’t even have the energy to talk or text you.

hell, he didn’t even have the energy to keep the apartment tidy or keep himself in check either. another pang of guilt hits him like a freight truck. he concludes that he’ll give you a spa day so he can clean everything up, not wanting you to worry about the mess he made.

he knows from the bottom of his heart that you’d never judge him or make him feel small for feeling the way he felt, he just feels so bad that he couldn’t even muster up the energy to greet you the way you deserved to be greeted. to kiss you. to hug you. to have a delicious dinner together and snuggle with you.

but no. after a long trip you had to come home and be worried for him. have the apartment be in disarray, have to see him be in disarray. fuck, you were worried enough to call up satoru.

he swears to himself that he’s gonna make it up to you. he swears that–

oh?

what?

suguru’s eyes widen, hands weakly dropping his shopping bags on the floor.

the entire apartment, top to bottom, is spotless.

dishes done and put away. dining table clean. living room tidy. is that… a bouquet of daffodils, his birth flower, on the counter? he also sees the bag from his favorite bakery right next to it too…

he walks around, astonished, at how you’ve made the apartment look brand new.

he reaches the bedroom and sees that the bed is made. his clothes have been clean, dried, and put up in hangers inside his closet. the nightstand, dresser, and bookcase all spotless and wiped free of dust.

a fresh smell envelopes his sinuses. he swallows the lump in his throat. did you smell the single cigarette he smoked? it seems like you aired out the whole apartment. in front of him is a beautiful sunset that waves at him from outside. a sunray beam kisses his cheeks. suguru blinks and feels something wet trailing down his face… it tastes salty on his lips. but feels so warm and sweet.

“suguru?” your angelic voice calls to him.

he turns around and sees you. fresh and clean, a beacon of warmth and illumination. a light blush dusting your cheeks no doubt from all of the hard work you’ve done.

“i ran you a bath. you up for it?” you tilt your head cutely at him, a silent plea in your eyes for him to agree.

feeling like his voice will betray him if he speaks, he nods softly. grabbing his hand, you take him to your shared bathroom, also totally spotless. your hands are soft and small in his, warm for once, because of you taking a hot shower and checking the temperature of the water for suguru’s bath. a sandalwood scent envelopes his nose, no doubt from the diffuser you put inside. he sees the romantic candles and rose petals around the bathtub and he can’t help the smile that overtakes his face.

“for me?” he rasps, a teasing tilt to his voice.

“always. everything and anything i do will always be for you.” you say it seriously. genuinely.

to you, it’s a vow. an oath.

his eyes widen slightly, but he closes them momentarily, not wanting any more tears to spill. he crinkles his eyes and smiles at you softly.

“you joining me?” he undresses, taking off his sweatshirt and t-shirt. showcasing his tan skin, toned abs, & muscles. his nipple piercings & belly button piercing are on full display and he giggles lightly as you ogle at his body, watching your eyes trace his numerous tattoos & piercings, absolutely mesmerized.

“maybe next time,” you smirk, a playful twinkle in your eyes. “figured i could do a little pamper session, is that alright with you?” you ask him caringly, wanting to make sure that he’s comfortable with it first & foremost.

he fears that if he speaks any louder than a whisper, the love that overcomes him will drown his airways. he rasps out a small, “yeah.”

always. anything and everything you do will always be right for me.

he gets into the bath and you try to not let your eyes trail down, instead focusing your gaze on his dragon tattoo that encompasses his entire back along with the mythological japanese creatures that trail up his arms and ribcage like tapestry. you see one of your favorites, a black and white beta fish upon his ribs, submerged underneath the water he’s in.

from this angle, you can also see your name that he tattooed behind his ear. smiling to yourself, you sit behind him, ready to begin the pamper session.

his sloshes the rose petals around with his fingers. the water is warm, is his first thought. i wish you were in here with me, is his second.

your fingers stroke his hair softly, lulling him into a false sense of security, and then you get to work, vigorously rubbing in his lavender shampoo. he can’t help the laugh that escapes him. for some reason anytime you two would take baths or take showers together, you would always wash his scalp aggressively. “this is how i wash my hair sugu! what’s a little run through gonna do? we gotta keep clean!” did clean mean damn near ripping out his hair follicles? possibly.

he’d never stop you or scold you however, he thinks it’s hilarious and an endearing trait of yours. when he washes your hair he makes sure to be as soft and careful as possible, almost lulling you to sleep. when you wash his hair however, it’s like you’re turbowashing a pickup truck. he figures this time he’ll give you a pass (he always does) considering that he doesn’t think he’s washed his hair in around a week and a half.

“gonna rinse now, okay?” he hums quietly, closing his eyes.

this almost feels like a purification process to him.

you lather shampoo in his hair once again wanting to do a double cleanse, this time a bit more softly. you massage his scalp, and he tips his head back. you start from the crown of his head, working in circular motions, using your fingertips. then you go to the roots of his hair, pressing and lathering, pressing and lathering, pressing and lathering.

you push his head forward slightly so you can clean the back of his head too, massaging the pressure points in his scalp. you were always a good masseuse, therefore a deep sigh escapes him, tension leaving his body by the second. (this might be the first time in two weeks where he’s been able to breathe comfortably.) you run your fingers throughout the clean strands of his hair, humming a little tune to yourself.

“they called me.” your hands still for second, but resume back to carefully twisting the water out his silky black hair. you stay quiet, knowing that when suguru speaks he prefers to get it all out there first.

“must’ve been like, what, two days after you left?” a humorless laugh escapes him. “they always know when to fuck up my mood. i swear.”

he sighs tiredly. “they went on a whole spiel about how i need to come back home and find a ‘real job’ as a hotshot lawyer or some fancy businessman, as if i don’t run my own tattoo parlor. as if i’m not also a real fucking businessman. like, do they think i don’t make any money? that i can’t comfortably take care of us both?” he rolls his eyes, getting annoyed again just thinking about how long the same repeated conversation had gone on.

suguru’s family is relatively well-off. he’s genuinely thankful that both him & satoru never had to worry about how to put food on the table or be worried about not being able to spoil the people that they loved.

it’s just that his parents were angry that their picture-perfect little boy wanted to spread his wings… see a world that had more to offer than quiet dinner table meals filled with tension and pointed jabs at one another guised as “caring advice.”

their image of suguru started to get distorted when he first showed up on their doorstep with his gauges. an act of rebellion. he could’ve worn small simple diamond studs but he wanted to make an impression: i’m my own person. even as a 13 year old boy, i can make this decision on my own. he remembers the way his father said he looked foolish. how his mother held her hand over her heart, in shock that her little baby boy had tainted himself in such a manner. what would others say?

suguru remembers looking in the mirror after the whole fiasco & thinking: god… they’d say i look so fucking cool.

then it started with sneaking out to go on late night drives with satoru, shoko, nanami, & haibara. they’d jam out to random songs on the radio, get slurpees & snacks, and sit in satoru’s car just talking about life and their future for hours. suguru still remembers the way his bangs wisped across his face, the crisp night air purifying his soul, the stars in the sky illuminating the landscape. the world seemed bigger those days and the gang were enjoying their teenage years. enjoying their youth.

he remembers coming home, his father waiting for him on the couch, pointing to the seat next to him, forcing suguru to sit down. his father’s arms crossed, black turtleneck making his muscles bulge slightly out of his sweater, his specs on the bridge of his nose making him look so serious. suguru found it easy to make eye contact with everyone in the world, but with his father he couldn’t help but look away sometimes… so he redirected his gaze to the tiny delicate beauty mark near his fathers right eye. a small little thing that made his father look a bit more… prettier. nicer. less daunting.

“where were you?” the timbre of his father’s voice rattled his bones. he muttered those three words quietly, but it still shattered suguru’s eardrums regardless.

“out. with my friends.”

he scoffs. “some friends they are.” a deep resounding ring of utter disappointment comes from his father’s words.

suguru sneers at the man, pissed that he would even think to disrespect suguru’s choice of friends like that. “yeah, they’re the best.” not an ounce of sarcasm lacing his words. his own mood dampened, nevertheless.

he recalls stomping all the way upstairs and slamming the door with all his might. sitting on his bed and resting his head against the window pane, eyes looking up at the same stars he saw when hanging out with his friends.

the stars seemed so far away from suguru’s room.

the world looked so big. suguru felt so small.

then one day, months later, suguru kissed a pretty boy. he can’t quite remember his name anymore, just that his lips were soft and his eyes were kind. suguru’s parents found out. his dad was surprisingly fine with it… he just assumed it was a phase, he went through the same thing as his son did when he was his age. his mother however… she just acted like it never happened the next morning. as if it wasn’t just a part of who he is.

his parents thought he was rebelling for the sake of rebellion. in actuality, it was suguru’s true self coming out. he was just getting more comfortable in his own skin. he was tired of being the picture perfect beauty who always was demanded of being polite, poised, & graceful. it was always too easy for him to put on a fake smile and manipulate others into doing what he wanted for the sake of his family’s reputation, it’s what he was taught. being at that house, it felt like he was kept on a tight leash, restricted from living his life. he felt caged like a bird…

but he just wanted to be free.

all he wanted was to just truly be himself in this world.

a kiss against his scalp breaks him out of his reverie.

right… he was here with you. he doesn’t have to spiral or worry anymore. you’re here. with him.

you’re here, you’re here, you’re here.

he shudders softly, taking your hand, holding it tight within his grasp. anger laces his next words, “they also said it’s time i get into a ‘real relationship’. whatever the fuck that means.”

you giggle. you know that his parents aren’t too fond of you, you’re not exactly of the same… class or status as them. at least that’s what suguru’s mother told him.

he huffs out a single dry laugh, “i’m glad you’re laughing about it because i nearly popped a fucking blood vessel screaming into my phone when they said that shit.”

“my protector.” you coo to him.

a light blush tinges his cheeks. always.

he presses a kiss against your palm. “i think it just made me… spiral a bit, y’know? reminded me of when i was kid and they made every little decision for me. i mean i’m a fucking adult now — i can decide what i do, who i wanna be, and who i want to be with.”

so when he got that phone-call from them on that day he was supposed to go to some rock concert… he did the one thing he promised himself he’d never do again. he lit a cigarette, and cried his eyes out into his pillow.

while sobbing, he remembered when he was in his early twenties and he’d sleep around with anyone and everyone, smoke blunts & cigarettes, go bar-hopping… do everything the picture-perfect pretty boy would never be allowed to do under his parents roof. his family just made him so miserable that he would do anything to not think of them.

he heard your voice in his head, reminding him, that instead of continuing on that self-destructive streak, he got his shit together. art & drawing was always his safe haven, so he found himself an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlor, getting a job as a piercer and ultimately working his way up to being a tattooist. he owns his own place now — all his hard work & effort paid off.

his mind travels back to you. his one true love.

ever since the moment he met you, he was mesmerized by your beauty — your smile made suguru feel butterflies flutter around in his stomach, he remembers the day you walked into the parlor and how everything in that moment stopped… as if you two were the only ones in the room, as if he could already imagine a future life with you. your personality shining through like a beacon of light, and as he got to know you further, your loving words & caring actions only made him fall deeper in love.

suguru’s heart and sobs only calmed down when he thought of you. his beloved. his angel. his reason to be. he hugged your pillow a bit tighter that night, imagining it was you.

“i’m proud of you, you know.” you say it so genuinely that it tugs on his heartstrings, making his heart skip a beat.

“you’ve been through a lot of shit with your parents, but at the end of the day, you chose to follow what your heart desired — not whatever they wanted. you’re successful in what you do and you made the right decision. it doesn’t matter what the hell they say, because they don’t know the effort and time it took you to get where you are.” you say it so passionately, that suguru believes every word that comes out of your mouth. his heart racing, thankful that somebody fucking understands him.

“you’re kind. you’re caring. you’re so unbelievably loving. you’re always looking out for others and helping anyone that needs it… you’re a good fucking person, suguru. i hope you know that and realize that. it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, you are good. what you do is good. who you are is good. it’s an honor to be able to love you and be with you. i hope you know that.”

for the first time in a while, suguru turns around and really looks at you. the way you bare your soul to him so effortlessly, the way you smile so sweetly at him, the way you make him feel like he’s your one true love.

“i’m so thankful for you. i love you… and i want to be with you, too. always.” his voice breaks a little, overcome with emotion.

suguru hugs you tightly, neither of you caring about the wetness on your clothes. suguru puts his entire spectrum of feelings towards you into the hug — an apology, a thank you, and a proclamation of love.

voice a bit shaky, he laughs, “sorry for getting you all wet. i know how much you hate drenched clothes.”

“you apologizing for getting me wet? now that’s a first.” you purr playfully, glad to see him in better spirits.

a loud laugh bellows out from suguru, deep within his gut. he kisses your lips preciously, and sits back down in the water, urging you to continue.

the mood now is far lighter. the air thick with a sweet steam.

you rinse his hair and gently put his lavender conditioner through his hair. massaging it in, running your fingers through his silky smooth strands. you put his hair up in a clip for a few minutes to let the product soak in. he washes it out himself while you start the shower, making sure you put in his favorite honey-almond bodywash. he gives you a silly yet oddly sultry show when he lathers himself and he promptly comes out, steaming and refreshed. you help him do his skincare routine, softly rubbing each and every product into his skin. he towels off and sits down, hairbrush in his hand, looking at you.

“here, let’s do this first.” you blow dry his hair, taking your time and allowing suguru to lull his head back onto your front, the soft black tresses of your beloved’s hair feeling much more revitalized in your fingers. you then brush his hair, gently, carefully. the entire time, you notice that suguru’s eyes are closed and he’s smiling to himself. you kiss him on the top of his head, and he turns to kiss you back. eyes closed, his lips puckered…

but just then, the doorbell rings.

“OOH! perfect timing!” you scurry off. you leave a pouting suguru who huffs out a little “hmph.” annoyed that whoever was at the door took a very well-deserved kiss away from him.

he patters softly to the kitchen where you’re setting out cold zaru soba noodles for him along with a can of sprite and matcha crepes. all of his favorites.

you hold a bouquet of flowers. daffodils.

“for you.” you curtsy, a mirthful twinkle in your eyes. he graciously accepts them from you, a shy smile and light flush across his cheeks.

“thank you.”

kissing his knuckles you whisper, “anything for you.”

for once in his whole entire life, suguru doesn’t think he can bear to look you in the eye. your adoration is so unbelievably intense, it feels like it’ll burn a hole inside his heart. does he deserve so much goodness in his life?

“you deserve more than what i can give you. i’ll spend my whole life making sure you realize that, suguru.” you say to him honestly. “if you’ll allow me of course.”

he kisses you on the lips softly, hoping that you can feel how thankful and lucky he is that he has you. “likewise.”

he clears his throat. “okay, c’mon. i’m starving. i wanna watch that stupid show and shit talk that hot guy you like on screen while we snuggle.”

“he’s the best character, suguru!” you huff indignantly. clearly he can’t be talking about thee toji fushiguro???

“babe. he SUCKS.”

he knows you so well, he muses to himself.

he knows how your breath hitches after he nuzzles his lips against the curve of your neck, that the skin is sensitive there, but not as sensitive as your right ear. he knows that because of the way your knees buckle as he whispers soft romances to you, intense shivers overtaking your body. he makes sure that his arm is always wrapped tender yet firmly around your waist when that happens, trapping you against his unyielding body.

he knows what makes you tick. on the rare occasion that you allow your emotions to overcome you, he knows how to comfort you. he leaves you alone for a few moments so you’re able to gather your thoughts & assess your bearings, and then he invites you into his warm embrace. he lets you lay your head in his lap as he strokes your hair gingerly, easing your soul with both honest and kind words. adorning your face with soft kisses and even softer caresses. a cocoon of protection.

it seems like these days, however, he hasn’t had a proper grasp on you. you can’t hide a single thing from him, he knows that you would never willingly do so either.

it’s not like you want to anyways — not that you intend to, at least.

but it’s an aching feeling in his chest, nonetheless.

earlier in the week, you’d softly shut your bedroom door whenever you saw him, pretending as if you couldn’t see each other… as if he wasn’t there. it’s moments where he found you haphazardly digging for shit in your drawers, tucking whatever it was into your pockets and padding away softly to your room. you’d stay in there for hours, only coming out when he knocked on your door to tell you dinner was ready. he heard lots of rustling and you pretended as if you were just chilling in there, as if nothing was going on. sometimes when he knocked on your door to see what you were up to, all he heard back was an “i’m busy, baby! i’ll be out soon!” then it became even more odd, you’d quickly shut off your phone whenever he came into the room and would plaster a bright smile at him as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

he sighs to himself. he trusts you. he loves you. he knows you’re not doing anything heinous.

but… why won’t you tell him what’s bothering you? don’t you trust him to fix whatever is wrong? it eats away at his mind & soul that you think you have to hide whatever it is that’s taking you from him. don’t you know that he’d drop anything for you? that’s what being in love is for, right?

his eyes peer at you from the couch, studying you. he calls out to you softly, “angel. can we talk, please?”

a statement posed as a question. he knows this. you know this. you answer regardless.

“sure.”

you walk towards him, intentionally adding a lackadaisical swagger to your steps. to fool him. you know it won’t, he knows it won’t. but suguru isn’t anything if a man who doesn’t indulge his beloved.

he pats the seat next to him on the couch. inviting. as if he’s giving you a choice, even though you know you have none at the moment. “sit next to me, my love.” his smile is taut like a string, amber eyes shut closed so you don’t bear witness to the tears that threaten to spill.

he knows you’re hiding something.

he doesn’t like not being in the know.

is it something he did?

is it something you did but are too afraid to tell him?

since when were you afraid of him?

were you always–?

in the few seconds it takes you to sit down, a myriad of questions race through suguru’s head, creating a spiral of untamable negative thoughts. you would talk to him if something was wrong, right? you both have a healthy communication and always talk things over with each other… so what’s different now? do you not trust him?

suguru chastises himself, thoroughly.

of course you wouldn’t want to speak to someone like him.

always the overthinker. always the nagging negative nancy. always the manic-depressive.

sometimes suguru fears that he acts more like a father to you rather than a boyfriend.

that he’s a bit suffocating. too intense. very overbearing.

a warm hand engulfs both of your small, cold ones. he hopes that it comes off as sweet, as caring. because he himself is sweet and caring.

at least he hopes he comes off like that.

“is everything alright, sweetheart?” a soft whisper. he speaks placatingly to you like you’re a newborn fawn and any loud noises or large movements will make you jolt and run away. “i feel like… you’ve been avoiding me recently. and…” he takes a deep breath. “listen, i don’t know if it’s something i did, but you need to tell me, okay? you have to tell me so i can make it better.”

he thinks he sounds nurturing. kind. paternal.

he also thinks he sounds so fucking condescending.

he closes his eyes and a picture of a man darts across his eyelids like an overdeveloped photo.

strict, heavy-handed, cutthroat.

paternal and protective to a fault. a man who was always “right” even when he was wrong.

an “apathetic” man who bore a child who thought too much – felt too much.

a flash of a sophisticatedly handsome man with obsidian shoulder length hair, serious low-lidded eyes, and a firm closed mouth sears itself across suguru’s brain like a charred photograph.

he flings away the afterimage as quickly as it came. pretending as if he never even thought of it.

he gulps, swallowing the fireball in his throat. god, he really doesn’t want to be like… him. having a majority of his features is enough, he does not want to inherit that man’s personality.

suguru absentmindedly rubs the slit in his eyebrow, his grip unintentionally tightening on your hands. he releases moments after, not wanting to cause you any pain.

“everything is fine with me sugu, i promise you.” you reassure him. “it wasn’t my intention to avoid you or make you feel like you did anything wrong… i am so sorry if it came off like that.” you answer him honestly. your head is tilted to the side like a little puppy, brows furrowed, upset that you made him feel like you were trying to get away from him.

“no, no no no no no, baby it’s not your fault.” he quickly grabs your cheeks, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. he brings you against his chest, hugging you tightly. “don’t apologize honey, i’m sorry… i just got into my head a bit.” he quickly placates you and kisses the top of your head. you shouldn’t be the one to suffer because he started to anxiously overthink and spiral.

he looks at the time on his watch. it’s a few minutes past midnight. you both should go to sleep… maybe you can talk it over in bed or in the morning with clear heads.

you exhale softly, shaking your head faintly. you press a delicate kiss against the corner of his lips. telling him, “give me a sec.”, you walk over and into your room.

he nods and watches you saunter away, putting his head into his hands. god… him and his big mouth… he sighs, anxiety crawling up his throat once more. he really didn’t want to upset you or anything, he angrily tells himself to apologize to you when you get back.

hearing you shuffle closer to him, he lifts his head.

in your hands is a… huge book?

“i wanted to give you this tomorrow… well technically today, but i guess it doesn’t really matter.”

he tilts his head, confused. you present him with the thing you’ve been working so hard on.

you smile at him so softly, he thinks that his heart is about to burst. “happy birthday, suguru.”

birthday…? oh god, it is his birthday.

he gently takes the present from you… it’s a scrapbook.

“don’t look at it in front of me! okay, bye!” you quickly sprint into your room, not wanting to be in the room when suguru looks at such a personalized present.

blinking, he grabs his reading glasses from the coffee table, and opens the book, flipping through each page carefully.

photobooth pictures, polaroids, kodak film pictures, movie tickets from your dates, admission tickets from amusement parks he’s taken you to, and multiple candids of both him and you - many of which he hasn’t seen.

one of them looks awfully familiar… did you take this the day you took him stargazing in the meadow? his fingers brush against his trembling lips, trying to stop himself from sobbing.

is this what you were doing?

he feels so stupid.

but god… does he feel so fucking loved.

you’ve immortalized every single moment of your relationship with him. nothing being too small for you to be excited about, carefully keeping everything.

he sees the little pressed flower of a daffodil enclosed in wax paper on one of the pages, probably from the first time you gave him a bouquet. the first time anyone has presented him with flowers without wanting anything in return. when asked about the occasion, you simply shrugged and said “just felt like it” & then quickly kissed his knuckles, zooming out of his apartment to run errands. he remembers how bashful he felt. how thankful he was. how loved that experience made him feel.

he moves his glasses upwards, wiping the tears across his lashline and the ones that stream down his face. he clears his throat slightly, and continues flipping the pages. you’ve drawn little doodles (things that he’s already planning to get tattooed on him simply because they came from you) and you’ve written beautiful, personal messages. encapsulating your adoration for suguru in the margins — genuine words filled with your love, devotion, and admiration for him.

he sniffs loudly and tries to wipe his face the best he can. he tenderly calls out your name, beckoning you over to him, and you get up out of your shared bedroom to pad softly into his open arms.

“my love.” he stands up and walks over to you midway. he hugs you so tightly while pressing your head against his beating heart, his arms protectively enveloping you. the space between you two is nonexistent, and suguru surmises that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

conveying his thankfulness and love to you, he sweetly says, “my sweet, sweet girl.” a soft kiss pressed against your hair, “you know my heart beats for you, right?.” from anyone else it’d sound cheesy, but from suguru… you know he means it from the depths of his soul.

he holds your face in his gentle hands, openly divulging his admiration for you, “my little dove.” he coos so fondly, sweet candied sugar dripping from every syllable. “you’re so precious to me, you know that? i love you. i love you. i love you.” a tender kiss pressed against your soft lips between each proclamation of adoration.

you smile graciously, thankful and relieved that he adores your present and that he especially adores you. you knew out of any of your presents that you were going to give him today, that this would be the most meaningful. suguru has always been the ultimate sentimentalist, and you wanted him to know that you care for him so deeply. that you love him. adore him. that your heart beats only for him. pushing back a black tendril of hair behind his ear, you kiss him gently. both of your lips fitting together perfectly — like a lock & key.

you bring his knuckles upon your lips, preciously kissing his promise ring, ensuring to him that your love and devotion runs deep, deeper than anything in this world.

“i love you too. happy birthday, my love.” his hands are so gentle. his face is so sweet. suguru… your one true love.

if someone asked suguru to describe you in three words, he’d say you were: devoted. loyal. loving.

he has four more words of his own on the tip of his tongue that he’ll ask to you when he musters up the courage.

with a soft kiss upon the ring on your knuckles, and an even softer smile upon his lips, he lovingly breathes out, “i will love you too, forever.”

[mechaknight-98]

Overwhelming Overtime (NSFW) FT: Sua

She has no business being this needlessly hot

Your boss was both the best boss you ever had but also the worst. See when you started you had this quiet but strong boss named Kim Minji. Sure she was a bit spacey but when push came to shove she would shove back. She was a tough but extremely pleasant boss but he was promoted and in turn, chose Kim Bora (her right hand) as her successor.

You had met Kim Bora before in fact she was the one who hired you. She was a tiny little thing with a fire that drove her to win at all costs. When you interviewed her the thing that stood out most was the rapacious look she had. You thought it was because she hadn't eaten that day but as you got to know her and did a few projects with her you quickly learned that her intense appetite was all genuine. You were no slouch yourself you strived to lead the pack and often did with your out-of-the-box solutions and creative problem-solving skills. Kim Bora or Sua as she demanded to be called now was often reliant on you for not only your insights but also rigorous morale-boosting efforts. So much so she had you in her old position 4 months after you got hired, and a week before the first major audit of the quarter. The audit went well but it was after that when “Kim Bora” died and “Sua” took over completely.

The day after the Audit you got in early to work on a side project you had going on. You were off the clock obviously and needed a quiet space that wasn't your apartment you shared with several roommates. While you worked a co-worker and designated “office puppy” Yoohyeon walked in

“Well well well. Who do we have here? A hard-working Hound slaving away before his shift even starts?” Yoohyeon says to you. You look up from your project and smile admiring her short blue hair which she had dyed the previous week.

“I'm good Puppy and how about you?” you ask giving her your full attention.

“I'm tired. That audit took it out of me. It also didn't help that Gahyeon and Siyeon’s work all got corrupted at the last minute.” Yoohyeon laments. You console her reminding her it's over and that Bora and you finished it.

“Thanks, hound…hey where's Bora?” Yoohyeon asked as you and here usually come in around the same time.

“Oh, she’s at my place. We didn't finish work until 3:30 last night so she stayed the night since it was closer,” you explain. Yoohyeon smiled at you.

“I knew you were a hound but I'd never take you for a dog,” Yoohyeon says with a pleasant laugh

“What do you mean?”

Yooyheon gets shoulder to shoulder with you and nudges you“Taking her back to your place, after a stressful day of work. A little bit of Office romance in the air?” she questions. You shake your head and try to deny it but there's this pit inside you and in that pit, something has awoken as you think about your boss in some less-than-professional ways. Yoohyeon notices your laptop and asks what you are working on.

“Oh it's just a movie script,” you say which makes Yoohyeon’s eyes go wide

“Oh can I be in it?” she asks preciously. You say sure and she beams off happy. By the time you finish up the first draft of the last scene, your boss walks in. She walks over to the desk and leans in as normal.

“Hey, honey. How are you?” you hear Bora ask.

“I'm fine boss. Just wanted to get some quiet time in before work. Did you enjoy your breakfast?” Bora smiles tired and nods as she drags herself to her office. Her voice is Huskier than usual from fatigue and further awakens the pit inside of you that is currently imagining your cock stuffed down her…Wait did she just call you honey? you think to yourself. You're not allowed to think for too long as the work hustle and bustle starts. As you settle in you get a call from Bora.

“Dear, can you come into my office please?”

Instinctively you say sure thing baby without being able to stop yourself before it comes out.

“Thanks, honey,” Bora said before hanging up the phone. You try to push down the feelings arising from the pit inside of you as you walk to her office. The pit had other plans though as your brain conjured lurid visions of you and Bora around the office until you got to her door. You see her and you going at it on Siyeon’s desk Bora screaming your name. Doggy at Gahyeon’s cubicle. Bora venting about how much of a little brat she was. Bora deepthroating you in Dami’s chair talking about how deep you are in her throat. It's disorienting and distracting but before you enter Bora’s office you breathe and calm yourself. You open the door to see Bora leaning back on her desk It is almost enough to send your body feral as you see not only her cleavage but also the way her pantsuit curves around her fit body. Your visions continue of her smothering your cock with her tits. Had you had less self-control you would have gotten on your knees and eaten her out before pounding her into oblivion and both of you pass out.

But instead, the words out of your mouth were “Yeah boss what's up?”

“We have a new hire and she should be coming in soon. I would like you who welcome her with me since you're my left hand.” her innocent reference to a previous inside joke had made you laugh and calmed the raging beast inside. You both sit in her office waiting for the new hire. Sue walks over to you and leans on you for a bit. She groaned before she said.

“Geez how did you still wake up so early today?” Bora asked. You shrug and respond “Not sure.” Bora smiles at you with admiration. Before hugging you.

“See that's what I love about you, honey. your persistence is unrelenting and inspiring.” the pet name reawakens the beast inside and you struggle to regain your composure. Until the door opens. In walks in a pretty blonde with bright eyes. She smiles and sits to the right of you across from Bora’s desk.

“Good morning Mrs Han,” Bora says. You nod as well as Mrs. Han sits next to you.

“This is my left-hand man Percival but we all call him Hound,” Bora says. Mrs Shin looks over at you confused.

“Each of us was given animal-related nicknames I got Hound after a particularly brusque interaction with a potential business partner”

Bora laughed and exposed the following, “you nearly bit his throat out when he attempted to forcefully couple with our little Fox Gahyeon”

Han’s eyes went wide as she remembered the story from two months ago about an office employee who broke the arm and several other bones of a CEO who was currently under investigation for multiple accounts of Misconduct. Mrs. Han laughed and said, “I heard about that. The article I read said it took 5 guards to stop you from killing him.” Mrs. Han teased

“I wasn't going to kill him,” you say

“Hound I know you're trying to not scare off the newbie but remember we are a primarily women-led office so I wanted her to know we have a hell of a guard dog helping who takes care of us,” Kim Bora explains. You shrug which makes Bora laugh. After that, Siyeon walks in and takes Mrs Han away, before she can. Bora asks you,” Hey honey can you pick up the food for today’s luncheon? The order will be ready at about noon.” you nod and walk out. When you get back to your desk you find that moment later Siyeon approaches

“What's going on between Sua and you?” she asks flatly.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

Siyeon pointed to Sua’s office and said “Sua called you a bunch of pet names like babe and honey.”

“Oh good you heard it too, so I am not hallucinating that,” you say relieved you say half half-joking.

“Yeah, Handong asked me if you two were dating?” Siyeon asked confused. You shrug equally confused. Siyeon smiles at you and asks how you are handling it and why she's calling you that.

“Well, she stayed at my place after we got off last night since it was so late. As you know I live within walking distance from the office, but we didn't do anything but watch a movie and eat fried chicken. I got her some beer but I don't get why she's acting so different. I let her sleep in my bed sure but nothing happened because I slept on the couch.” you explain.

“I mean do you like her?” Siyeon asked

“Yes!” you explain “Too much to be exact” you add

Siyeon looks at you confused before saying “What do you mean?”

You sigh before answering “Well you have to promise me that you won't call HR on me.”

“Wait why?” Siyeon asks confused

“Just promise me and I'll explain.” you sigh again

“Okay. So ever since this morning when Yoohyeon came in and teased me about Bora and me. My mind has been racing and giving me visions of her and I “having a good time” all over the office.” you explain

Siyeon’s eyes go wide “Holy shit.” she exclaimed a bit too loud causing others to take notice. You tell those who looked over that you just shared a good recipe with her. You get suspicious looks all around but everyone eventually goes back to what they were doing.

“Oh, so you like her,” Siyeon affirms. You nod and she responds by asking, “What are you going to do about it?” you hesitate before you respond in a whisper

“Probably transfer departments, but hopefully it won't come to that.”

Not only did Sua come to work with more enticing attire but the pet names continued and her touch became increasingly more flirty. It was agonizing. It also didn't help that the work days got longer so your invites to her became more frequent. On the nights she stays she cuddles you relentlessly. On the off nights, she teases you all day with flirty touches and revealing outfits. Your only respite was your chats with Siyeon which would always end the same. “You should just fuck her and see what happens.” and your response would be. “Siyeon that's our boss. I can't do that” Siyeon would shrug and leave. Usually, after that Sua would call you in to start working.

Weeks go by the treatment gets better and worse. It became so flagrant that Dami asked you if Sua and you were dating. This is significant because Dami and you barely talked about anything besides work. That wasn't even the craziest part. You would think that with this unrelenting sexual tension between the two of you work productivity would be diminished and you'd be at each other's throats, but the exact opposite happened. All of your metrics/numbers were through the roof, and Sua and you were on fire. Spend almost every evening together after work going on cute dates all over town, but eventually, the guilt and overwhelming infatuation began to eat at you.

So You call in a favor with your friend Sakura who works in a different department. She gets you transferred in the nick of time because Sua’s advances grew more intense each day and the Beast inside grew more rapacious to indulge your hunger. That night before the schedule transferred Sua and you were working late on a massive project. Sua knew she and you were going to have to stay late so she brought a change of clothes. Her work out however was distracting you as it was a blue crop top with a black tie (which fueled several more fantasies and visions) However that wasn't the worst part. Every time Sua would stretch or lean into you the crop top would move and you get a major peek at her breasts. You are barely holding it together when the two of you finish up.

“Ah, I can't believe we finished all that,” Sua exclaimed you nodded quietly. She looks over to you her eyes Misty and sincere. So you tell her the truth… partially

“I feel stuck. Like I love working with y'all but I just need a change of scenery,” you say holding back the fact that for the last three weeks, you have had an erection that wouldn't go down no matter how many times you jack off at home because of her. Sua seems to take your words at face value and is saddened. You invite her to stay the night, which she takes. Your night with Sua is surprisingly chaste and comforting. The two of you go to a nearby steak house where you both eat and fight off fatigue. When the bill comes you pay for it as Sua has gone to sleep sitting upright. You smile at her cut expression. When it's time to leave you carry your passed-out boss back to your place. As you do you hear Sua say “I feel so safe in your arms honey.” it tears you up inside because your brain is full of images of groping her and having your way with her. When you get home you set her down on the bed and lock the door. You try to get to sleep but every time you close your eyes visions of her and you plague you. The most common being her riding you into orgasm after orgasm after orgasm till you were left raw and shaking under her tight lithe body. She mentioned how she was a dancer so you also would imagine all of her flexibility being put to use as you would pound into her through various positions. These dreams left you painfully erect and awake. You eventually do fall asleep however and can relax with Sua who eases on the sexy teasing the weekend she stays over.

As you work with Sakura and her team dubbed “le serrafim” due to the angel statute outside of the office you excel. Productivity goes up as you help the operations leader Chaewon whip the team into shape but you can't help but miss Sua. So on your first free lunch break, you visit your old office. on the way you stop at your and Sua’s favorite sandwich shop and get yours as well as hers. The Lady smiles at you and asks “Where's your work wife?” you explain to her that you had been transferred for fear of getting too close. the clerk nods and tells you life is too short to fight love so just go with it. You laugh as you head back to the office. The air is cold as you walk in. The remaining people working look at you with confusion. You ignore them and walk over to Sua’s office. You notice a distinct fragrance but you can't place it.

You open Sua’s door and are shocked at what you see she is wearing. It's a suit Jacket over a bralette and shorts.

“Aish why don't you ever knock?” Sua groans as she works on her laptop until she looks up to see you.

You tried to be good. You did but her outfit was too much for you not to let the beast out. You walk over to her and carefully set your food down before walking behind her desk and kissing her passionately. You pull her shorts down to see she wasn't wearing underwear. You fish out your cock and tell Sua.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me? You little minx.” Sua moans into your lips through a kiss before saying

“I know. I wanted you to take me. What stopped you?”

You roll your eyes at her, “You were my boss and I didn't want to get fired.” as you spoke you lower yourself down to her pussy. She smells exquisite. You take an experimental lick which causes Sua to buck her hips into you before she pulls your face back up.

“I don't need you to tease me. I need you to fuck me. We can do build-up later.” Sua demands. You acquiesce and align your cock with her folds and you plunge in. “Yes, baby yes.” Sua moans as you begin thrusting into her. As you do you vent your sexual frustrations to her.

“That whole last week before I transferred you left me with a boner I couldn't get rid of or sleep off. I'd be having these intense visions of fucking you all across the office,” you growl at her as you pound into her. You slip a hand under her bralette to learn she isn't wearing a bra either “You're such a slut.” you tease Sua. She arches her back as she leans into your body

“No, I just know what I want and how to get it.” Sua rejects

“Oh and what do you want?” you question

“You. Now shut up and cum in me. I need it.” Sua demands. You finally fully submit to her and the Beast inside as you plunge deeper into her pussy. She groans as your cock pierces her again and again.

“God you're so tight,” you say in between thrusts. Sua smiles at you deviously and says

“Wait till you fuck my ass then will talk about tight.” her words are so hot that you tumble into your orgasm blasting her womb with your seed. Sua moans as she comes all over your cock.

“Fuck you came so much,” Sua says as you drip out of her.

“Can you take the rest of the day off?” you ask. Now that you had a taste you needed more.

“Oh so now you're bold and brave. Where was all of this 4 months ago when I was practically throwing myself at you?” Sua demands

“Look I didn't want to assume anything, especially after that bozo tried to put the moves on Gayheon.”

“My hero.” Sua teases you before kissing you again.

“Sua you keep this up I'm going to fuck you all day in this office.”

“Ooh, I like the sound of that.” Sua purred.

“I don't think your employees will So I am going to ask again. Can you take the rest of the day off?” Sua looked at you with a focused and determined look before groaning.

“No, I can't. We have a big project coming up, but today is Friday so you can meet me after work.” you furrow your brows and nod. As the both of you get dressed and try to clean each other up.

“Also we are dating now officially,” you say which causes Sua’s sexy smile to turn into a bigger wholesome one, as you sit down and hand her the lunch you got her.

“Good. I'll see you tonight hound.” you nod and get back to work.

The rest of the day is cake for you now that you've removed that Sua-sized monkey off your back. A lot of the tension you felt washed away. The horny brain fog seemingly lifted and you powered through work with an intensity that impressed and scared Sakura. After work, she asked what had gotten into you

“My girlfriend,” you reply as you go home. Sakura's eyes go wide and smiles.

“Well, then you probably should get going!” Sakura asserts. You nod as you leave for your apartment. You order fried chicken as you wait for Sua to arrive. Two hours later Sua arrives with food at the same time the order arrives. You met Sua while picking up the chicken from the lobby. She smiled at you and walked with you to the elevator.

When entering your apartment Sua grinned happily, “Ah my home away from home.” she said as she sat on your couch. You set the food out for the two of you.

The air grows humid, as the anticipation builds. "So how was work?" you ask trying to resist the urge to pound her in that moment. Sua smiles and responds,

"No, you don't get to just be normal with me like you didn't fuck me in my office." Sua teased

"But babe you looked so hot." you protest

"I know I did, but that wild beast in you couldn't help himself and now you need to take responsibility for your actions. Do you have any idea how you left me so horny after lunch. I had to masturbate during one of my afternoon breaks something I never do because I kept thinking about your cock the rest of the day pounding me. Now you are going to come over here and fuck me. then we are going back to the table to eat." Sua says as she takes her sweatshirt off revealing she was wearing nothing underneath, but in all honesty her words had left you hard anyways. You walk over to her and strip which draws a wide smile out of your paramour. You draw your manhood out of your pants and plunge into her core. You start slowly hoping to not cum fast but Sua was having none of it.

“No enough of the foreplay fuck me like you mean it. I need your cum.” sua demanded so you oblige. As you take her from behind you smack her ass a couple of times before really pounding her. Sua moans. “Yes claim me as yours. Fuck your slutty pussy cum in me.” Seeing Sua so lost in her own pleasure sends you barreling to your own release. You feel her tighten as she screams and cums all over your cock. She then pushes you down and begins riding you.

“I love how you look under me. Maybe I should sound proof my office and take my cock whenever I need it.” the possesiveness in her voice was surprisingly hot to you. You keep pounding her relentlessly as Sua arches her back into you she says, “you like how my pussy takes you. You line how it just wraps around you to tight like a vice.” her words and tone prove to be to much and you cum into her again. You feel her body also reach it's peak as well. But the two of you keep going. Sua’s body is so enticing that you can't help yourself. So you keep pounding her. Sua moans in exctasy “yes keep going she encourages as you venture deeper into her folds. Sua groans in pleasure.

“You like that?” you ask aggressive. Sua moans in response letting you know all you need. Your hand reaches out to her clit where you gently rub and massage. Not used to the overwhelming sensation causes Sua to cum almost immediately. You follow her as well down the rabbit hole of pressure as your errection finally goes down. Sua is almost ready to mount you again but you hold the tiny woman back and put on enough clothes to eat the meal you paid quite a bit for. Sua laughs and gets dressed as well.

Sua jaunts over to your dining table and sits across from you ready to eat. She sits down and eats with you. out of habit, you hand her an ice-cold beer which she happily accepts. While you do so Sua asks some very serious questions.

“So how's the new job?” Sua asks shyly

“It's fine I love working with the Fimmies (the nickname of the department) Although I do miss working with y'all.”

“Yeah, it hasn't been the same in the office without you. I don't have my late-night partner in crime to do sand which runs, or joke partner to make those endless meetings go by faster.” Sua explains

“Well you've always been welcome here I mean I did give you the spare key,” you reply

“ I completely forgot about that.” Sua chuckled. The two of you ate a bit in silence until Sua gave you an intense look. You both got up and raced to each other. Your kiss was passionate and intense. As Sua explored your mouth with her tongue she would bite your lip. On your side, you were desperate to fuck her again and were stripping her to the best of your ability. You stared at her big pale tits desperate for a taste. Sua licked her lips as she stared at your bulge. You attack each other's bodies in a very mirrored sense. You devour her tits while she clutched your cock.

“Yes, baby suck my fat tits.” Sua lets out her voice made Husky, and raspy with intense lust brimming from her body.

When you were both naked Sua smiled, and you plunged into her suffocatingly tight pussy again

“God you're so hot taking my cock.” you exclaim to Sua who moans back

“You like how this tight slutty pussy takes your cock?” Sua moans

“Oh god yes I love how tight you are.” you compliment. It sends Sua wild

“I can't believe you kept this cock from me for almost a year. It fills me up so well” she yells. You bring your eyes up to hers and she engages in another lurid kiss. She is as desperate for this as you are. You paw at her tits now covered in a thin layer of sweat as claws at your face trying to kiss you deeper and deeper Sua grinds on your crotch hard before demanding, “Baby please cum for me I need it. I need you to cum for your slutty noona. I need you to fill me up.” her words and the suffocating tightness of her folds push you over the edge, but Sua is as relentless in pleasure as she is in business and keeps grinding you hoping to coax you into another session, but your body doesn't work like that and so you have to pry her off of you. Fueled by her insatiable appetite for you she gets down on her knees and begins to suck you off. You groan

“Fuck babe at least let's get to the bed first.” you groan out. Sua smiles then drags you (by cock) to the bedroom. After getting into the bedroom and locking the door she says the scariest and horniest thing you've ever heard

“I'm going to fuck you until your brain is mush. You are going to cum in all my holes and on my tits. When I'm done with you your balls’ contents will be all mine. So relax and let your noona drain you.”

You gulp as you watch Sua’s eyes narrow with such intense lust, and want that you begin to grow hard under her gaze alone. She licked her lips as she sashayed over to you. You laugh to yourself because you remember how Gahyeon did little animal cartoon signs she put on each of your doors based on how she saw each of you. Sua was the only one you think Gahyeon got incorrect she was not a warm Crow tit. She was a ravenous tigress and she was not going to be stopped from taking what she wanted. She gave an experimental lick of the right side of your rod and when she reached the top of your head she gave a probing Pierce of your slit. The sensation was insane your body felt on fire in both positive and negative reactions but Sua was a lot stronger than she looked leaving you at her mercy. She smiled watching you squirm as took you down her throat. She looked up at you with an evil smile that gave way to her malignant intent to drain you drier than Death Valley. The crazy part is some weird part of you likes it, and your body relented to her demands. Your dick grew harder in Sua’s mouth which made her smile even bigger as she inhaled more of you. When she came up for air she smiled before devouring your cock whole. The hungrier she became the harder you got for her creating a vicious cycle until you came down her throat. Sua’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as she swallowed your load. As she came from your still-hard clock she smiled before saying “One shot. one kill” You can't help but laugh at her goofy expression and attempt to be sexy.

“Ah, what?” she yells at you before smacking your thigh. The sexual tension bow having dissipated considerably left you with your close work friend whom you spent many hours with. She crawled up to you and smiled.

“I know this is early but God I love you,” you say to Sua which only makes her smile more.

“Well to me we've been dating since you let me in your house. We are just official now,” she says with self-assured confidence. You laugh as the both of you sit up.

“We should finish eating.” you propose. Sua nods, and the two of you get up and put on underwear so neither of you were sitting on cold metal with bare ass. Sua moves her chair close to your side while the two of you eat.

She gives you an inquisitive look before asking, “Hey how do you feel about food play? Or other kinks like that.”

You hesitate as you are pretty vanilla in your taste. Sua picks up on this and says “Don't worry I'll be with you the entire time.” She smiles at you in a way that’s reassuring before hugging you. You chuckle and Sua asks, “What’s so funny?”

“You go from cute to sexy at the drop of a hat. It’s jarring but also funny.” You answer and Sua smiles. The two of you finish your meal before getting up.

“You wanna finish that movie?” Sua asks. You nod as the two of move to your couch. The two of you sit comfortably and watch the end of Shin Ultraman. After the movie Sua stretched before yawning, You were so right that was a good movie and scratched that Avengers itch I'd been having."

"I know right? Plus you're in and out in a quick two hours max." You respond

"Yeah. Maybe next time I'll give Mask Rider a try." Sua said pleased. Her eyes narrow as she gets closer “we have one hole left.” she said hungrily before pulling both of underwear down. She gets on top and says “let me ride you baby.” before sinking her ripe ass on your manhood. You groan Sua’s eyes widen with rapture as she bathes in the adoration you give her as you paw at her breast trying to release the overwhelming sensation of her ass on your dick. She also revels in the dominance she has over you. “You like your tight little ass.” Sua says as she bounces on your cock while you massage her tits. You nod.

“Good because from now on this cock is always going to finish our sessions in this tight little ass.” you groan as Sua speaks. She loves watching you squirm under her. “I need an answer dear.” Sua says in a honeyed yet malicious tone. .you're trying to hold on but Sua demands your attention as she is trying her hardest to force another orgasm out of you.

“Babe stop trying to hold off and just let me wring you dry.” Sua teases as she rides you harder. Your moans serve as more fuel to her passion as she rides you determined to drain you. “Come on baby cum for me. Please cum for me.” Sua’s words make you explode inside of her which triggers her orgasm. Sua smiles before saying “not bad for my work husband. When she hops off your dick she laughs at your still hard dick. She smiles and wraps her tits arou d your cock. You scream as pleasure and pain blur and sends you into another orgasm. Sua gets up when your cock finally softens but it's not for long as she starts to rub your cum all over her tits. Your dick hardens once more and you put your foot down.

“Sua stop I can't cum any more.”

Sua mounts you and says “we’ll see about that.” you growl at her and slam your cock into her pussy. If she needs to drain you to get off then you would get your pleasure first. You thrust into her violently as Sua is enraptured. Her pussy squeezes you tight as your sensitive cock runs in and out. You groan as her body draws another orgasm out of you and sends her into another orgasm. Sua screams, “yes baby yes.” before the two of you pass out. When you come to you still feel a wet sensations around your cock. You jolt down and see Sua and you are still connected. You sigh and go back to sleep content and at peace with holding Sua tighter.

[himbocoups]

˗ˋˏ Epistolary Yearning ˎˊ˗ | 18+ Only

synopsis: a series of letters, speckled with notes of budding romance and longing, exchanged between a newly married couple separated by seas and the ongoing war the emperor sent his commander to end.

pairing: duke!lsm x reader (gn afab)

genre: epistolary form, historical fantasy, romance | smut

tags: arranged marriage, mentions of a war, dk and yn accidentally invent the concept of planes, two people very much falling in love | degrading, fingering, guided play, honey play, marking, mirror play, pet names, praise, pussy slapping, riding, spitting, squirting…

wc: 5.13k

message from nu: fueled by my love for historical, fantasy, and isekai manhuas. big thank you to my beta readers (@heartkyeom, @aceofvernons, and @multi-kpop-fanfics) for reading when I was playing with the format of this fic + @junkissed with helping out with the syntax for this one very confusing line I wrote. also summoning @onlyseokmins bc I told her I'd tag her once duke!dk was finished <3

himbocoups's masterlist

Letter One - YN

My Lord, 

How are you? I hope your trip is going as smoothly as planned. 

It has been a while since I last heard from you. As Summer comes to a fading end, Autumn threatens to wash the foliage to hues of brown and auburn. And I sit at the library nook beside the window, taking quill to parchment against the cover of a heavily bound book and scratching against blank pages before I can muster the courage to write to you. I do sincerely apologize if this attempt seems strange. 

Though I pity our brief time together, the only things I familiarized myself with are your scintillant eyes. Maybe instead of feeling as dull as the color of nature, I’ll think about how the color is reminiscent of your eyes. Eyes, these beautiful jewels seem to reflect the light through your smile. I can’t help but imagine myself as the last person to see them every night as I lay beside you as we drift off into slumber. Would it be too forward of me to say that the thought of growing fond of you, not just your eyes, is slowly appealing more and more to me? 

However, I do have hesitations as I am left alone to roam these lonely halls in a place so unfamiliar to me. It would be a pity shall I reach familiarity with my surroundings before I become familiar with you. Or even worse, to have you forget your familiarity with me. 

Please be safe for me. Hurry home soon.

Letter Two - DK

My Jewel,

For someone who longs for familiarity, you need not create even more distance between us through formalities. And my love, you need not refer to me as your Lord. Love is all I ask for, as love is what you will always be to me. Albeit, I do find it disheartening to read that you think of me so lowly. I could never forget someone as precious as you, even if you do not believe in your preciousness. 

Nevertheless, I, too, pity the brevity of our time together. Marriage agreed upon through an exchanging of letters by our guardians, now our marriage follows suit in the epistolary form. Yet no descriptive access through penmanship could ever grant the feeling that blossomed inside me and continues to bloom since I first laid my eyes upon you. And on the eve of the third week of our matrimony, I was whisked away to end the war. I do sincerely apologize for my absence. 

On this rocking ship, all I can do is stare into the swirling sea in search of a passing merchant ship with letters to deliver. The birds that soar above me seem to provoke me with their independence, cawing in hearty guffaw at the fact that this poor man can never take flight at any moment back into his lover’s arms - where he feels most at home.

Maybe we should take giant birds instead of ships, soaring in the skies and reaching our destination in an instant. How wondrous that would be. 

But I am an equally lonesome Commander among his squadron, a man who keeps the first letter from his lover in the pocket against his breast and his wedding band around his neck. Just thinking about how you were thinking about me while writing that letter, still thinking about me, conciliates any disarray in my mind. And I promise you that I will make you feel loved for the rest of your life, even if our love is only budding. 

I will lead my men well. Then I will lead myself home. To you. 

Letter Three - YN

My Dokyeom (If it is fine to refer to you in this way),

I do have to admit to my shyness, how my face flushed with heat when you referred to me as your beloved. Your “love”…my goodness, our servants nearly called the doctor over when they saw my state of awe. Although, I do apologize if the language in my initial letter seemed blunt or made you feel even a hint of sadness that I accidentally made you for a man with a cold demeanor. 

You wrote: “Maybe we should take giant birds instead of ships, soaring in the skies and reaching our destination in an instant” in our last exchange. What a preposterous idea! But what a new discovery to find that you are as funny as you are charming. Shall we commission a local alchemist to create potions that magnify tiny sparrows to large ships? Or shall I ditch my archery lessons in exchange for nights in your magnificent library, scouring the archives with the hope to find a recipe to an enlarging potion hidden in a romance novel? 

Oh, how I wish everything could be as easy as depicted in romance novels or that one Opera we went to watch. Days consume me on end. Not in the way in which I consume much of my leisure time by staying in the places we frequented in our time together, but in the way in which time passes by so slowly it feels like the concept of time is consuming me instead. I wish it were you who were consuming me even though I do feel it through your love. Because I, too, keep your letter near me. And I trace over the areas your quill indented the parchment, so much that I sometimes end up smudging the dried ink with my hand. 

I do miss you...even more when everything around me reminds me of you. Because you, who makes silly promises about a budding romance, will also be the receiver of my elementary promise about my slowly collecting love for you. 

P.S. They are close to finishing our portraits. I have yet to decide where they are to be hung. 

Letter Four - DK

My Love,

My Seokmin. Seok. Min. Mine. Beloved. Love. Dearest. Husband. Equal. Anything but Duke, Lord, Commander, or Dokyeom is welcome. How I wish for the day I get to hear my name leave your lips through a soft murmur, laughter, greeting, whisper, and mayhaps even a whine. 

Honeymoon was cut short by my trip across the sea. We are finally on land. In front of me is a crackling campfire whose glow conceals the redness of my cheeks, dappled with jubilance from reading your last letter. 

My dearest shy and humble lover whose metaphoric propositions of love are anything but reticent, I have annotated my favorite portions and circled words that I replay in my mind as a source of comfort. However, like what you did with your quotation of my imaginary bird ship, I must reference a few nuances in your letter that I find interesting. Particularly, I find that you must be careful in formatting your syntax, my beloved — for your way of language is enough to drive a sane man mad. Just think of me: a sane man before I had you and now a man slowly falling madly in love with you. 

Referring back to how time achingly consumes you, your “I wish it were you who were consuming me. Although I do feel it through your love” causes me to quiver in a way that is only shared between two lovers. I am a man whose honeymoon was interrupted by the king’s call, a man who is weeks without his lover, a man who has needs - desires. And your need for me to consume you? I can only pluck it out of context. 

If everything around you reminds you of me, then I must tell you that I hope your reminder does not make you suffer as how I suffer. My love, do you know how painful it was to lay in my bed while the ship continually rocked back and forth? It was reminiscent of our second week together when you decided to mount me in bed, your beautiful opalescent undergarment covering an action so lewd that it could never be named in public. Yet I was a man on a ship with his aching cock in his hand, imagining his newly beloved on top of him who squeezes him tightly as they ride his lap. 

No hand could ever replace the fervor of having you rock me, leaning forward to kiss me down my naked chest while sucking and licking the thin area of skin right above my collarbone. How warmly your walls enveloped my own, squeezing and contrasting with every glide you make. I couldn’t help but twitch in you, trying to hold in my selfishness by grabbing onto your thighs - kneading and feeling the skin fill the areas between my fingers. But you bounced on my lap like a bunny in heat, causing my hands to trail further upwards until they lay on your ass…I wanted to worship you by turning myself into a throne, a marble stand so others could be in awe of you for centuries to come. 

Mouth unable to talk, your kitten drooled onto my lap and coated the surface with liquid lust while you whimpered as I praised you for treating me so well. I scooped the syrup from the maple tap and brought it to my mouth to suck; even now I can still feel your sweet syrup rest on my tongue and swirl in my mouth. Yet there I was on that boat, losing my mind with my hand on my tap. Bed sheets soaked with my sweat, I could only imagine that it was your sweat-glistened skin that stuck against mine. It was but a shame, and still is but a shame, that the image of you collapsed against my chest with exhaustion when your thighs trembled with such a quake only exists as a memory. How long would it take for me to turn the memory of me looping my arms around your back and pushing your upper body against mine, feeling you build and crash through a scream, into our reality? 

The land is no better than the sea. Truly, it must be treason to think such impure thoughts while riding on my finest stallion to head to our base. I am a Commander, a Duke for God’s sake. But the bouncing, the clopping - oh, beloved, my skin pricked with heat so much that I thought bandits were ambushing us. The pain I felt while I waited for my swelling to go down - I am utterly embarrassed to admit I almost released while riding in front of my men. 

How I wish I could come running back home to you. Shall I single-handedly overturn the monarchy so we can be equal partners to the throne? So that we can be rulers who need not leave our estate? Just give me the word, and the empire will be yours. Then I would never need to leave your side. That I guarantee. 

P.S. Hang the portrait wherever you please. Perhaps the ballroom so I would always be with you during the night of the balls. 

Letter Five - YN

My King,

How mad of you to write such vulgarities, to suggest usurping the throne only if it means being able to stay with me. You are a Commander. You are a Duke. You are one of the King’s men. Do you not fear the inevitable consequences that you would face should your letter be opened by anybody other than myself? Do you not fear what would happen to you if your lust-driven joke was wrongly taken for treason? I must say that despite everything, I found myself dipping a finger into your words and listening to my juices sing your letter like lyrics. 

Your words comforted my ache at my core, skillfully fighting fire with fire to extinguish my burning forest. However, if you were to turn into a mere object – a chair, a throne, a stand – I would never be satisfied in your worship. ‘Tis true that I would like to be worshiped by you like the first time your palm cupped my face in private confinement under the shade of the gazebo in the garden. With nobody around us, your face softened to reveal the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Earnest eyes flittered to and fro as you studied me in awe and whispered words of praise. Up until then, I never even knew you could worship a person such as me. Yet, you, a mere stranger I met a few hours ago, placed a kiss upon my lips as soft as the petals on the flowers that surrounded us. 

If worshipping me means an inanimate you, I don’t think there would be anybody who could worship me with such sincerity and reason as you do…and I quite like the animate you even if the animate you screamed at the bug upon your sleeve. I couldn’t stop laughing then. And when you looked back at me with those bashful eyes, I knew this would be a marriage filled with laughter.  

Laughter, as I have recently learned, doesn’t only exist jovially. No. Reading your comment about my syntax, I almost erupted in a peal of sinister laughter. My poor lover with his cock in his hand and his quill in his other and his attempt to warn someone with such an extensive educational background about their syntax…you are too pure for this world. Should it make you feel better in any way, I have also thought about you in ways such a person in my stature should never. 

The other day when I was particularly distracted by the particular “unease” that had been building inside me, I accidentally launched a practice arrow into the wind. Chasing it, I happened upon our agriculture stables where the young workers sit and milk our cows. I swear, I must have been in such a delusional state to feel such a rush just from watching the motion of our cows getting milked that I ran off to the kitchens without picking up my stray arrow. 

Can you believe it, my dear? Have you been thinking of me differently since I admitted to almost leaking when I saw the cows getting milked? Would you think of me even differently if I told you I thought of you while talking to our ice sculptors? If you can quench my thirst on my loneliest days, I can only imagine what taking you in paired with ice would feel like for both you and me. 

Mayhaps, we should convene in the kitchen at night after the bell strikes twelve when all of our kitchen staff have retired. I want to kiss you with cherry-stained lips, watching tint transfer onto yours as I play with the seed of the fruit in my mouth while I wait for our cups of tea to steep. Kissing, I hope, would act as an analgesic for your painfully sleepless nights. Still, I find it abstruse that a kind, gentle, and good man like you would live such a cathartic life as a commander. Enerverated in every way as I am, I can only offer a somnolent kiss in hopes of luring you to sleep before your tea can fully steep. 

“What is a man without his honey,” you would say. Then I would ask you to specify what type of honey you are referring to. 

You would reply with this cheekiness in your voice while your lips pull into a wide smile, “the syrup.” If I’m not wrong, you would peck the top of my head while you reach over me to grab the jar that the cook keeps at the counter for you to easily access. Because the man with a honeyed siren voice that often procures lullabies for me to fall asleep also has a taste for the pollinators’ syrup. 

As you can tell…we are not simple people. We are not a regular couple. We have exchanged letters for longer than we have physically been together. So when I tell you to close your eyes to try to find your honey, would you? If I blindfolded you with a kitchen towel and told you to search for the dab of honey I swatched on my body, could you do it? Would you go to the lengths just to search for the honey to your tea?

Would you use your nose and sniff along my skin, searching for the floral and fruity aroma? Gently picking up my arm and bringing it to your nose, would you gently guide your nose along the surface of my skin in a position so intimate that you feel my arm hairs tickle the tip of your nose? Would you guide your nose upwards along my arm until you arrive at my collarbone, sniffing and docilely licking areas you think to be as sweet as honey? 

Imploring you in your reconnoiter, I must keep quiet as I watch you blindly explore every groove of the topography of my body. I imagine myself tilting my head towards the side to allow you access to the side of my neck, sharply breathing in as you nose the area in which I am the most sensitive. I see you hesitate for a second before planting your supple lips against the skin as if to sample before making a decision. To your surprise, what coats your lips in a sticky and sweet amber gloss is the honey I placed on my neck slowly trailing towards my collarbone. And I watch you intently as you lick it off your lips, leaving a translucent liquid sheen. 

Affected by a magnetic lure, you would somehow find yourself in front of me, your head positioned right above the slowly trailing bead of honey. It starts with a lick, hot tongue against cold skin. I can’t help but feel how the bumpy texture of your tongue cleans and pulls its way up my neck. After the hot saliva hits cold air, you take off the kitchen towel and look at me like a puppy waiting for its owner. 

“Such a good boy,” I murmur as I take the towel from your hand and wrap it around the nape of your neck to pull you in closer. “How does it taste?” 

What is more, is that I hope that in that moment my heart is not the only one that is beating as fast as how a hummingbird flaps its wings. My greedy husband, you back me against the kitchen island until you are pressed firmly against me as I watch and feel you bite and suck a garden of flowers across my neck and chest. Your large hands find themselves around my thighs, kneading and squeezing them so much that the fabric of my night clothes bunch in the palm of your hands. So I maneuver your hands around my waist, and you spin me around and bend me against that counter so I can feel you push yourself against me. 

“Be good for me,” you would command while undressing me. 

Then I would feel it, hands spreading my legs and fingers prying my ass apart, and then your warm and flat tongue against my kitten. One single lick would make my knees buckle. But you eating me out from behind, the way you knead my ass while you take your time swirling your tongue against my lips and lapping up my juices would make me come in an instant. Your tongue presses against my nub while your nose digs itself into my opening almost to the point where you’re fucking me with the tip of your nose, yet it is me who begs for air. And you keep my liquid on your tongue as you rise from your knees to pull my head back until I’m looking at you and your swollen and burgundy lips with my head tilted backward. 

And you pry my mouth open with your hand and watch me catch that sweet honey on the tip of my tongue. 

My dear, I am much too hot to even think about what comes after you let go of my jaw. My tenses in this letter are all mixed up because I’m so caught up in my delusions that I mistake dreams for reality. I feel ashamed to revert to such elementary composition when I am clouded by lust. But in this sensory game of wits, who do you think would win — the explorer or the explored? 

P.S. I’ve had our painting temporarily hung in our dining room as I cannot even bring myself to think about the possibility of hosting a ball without you. The great ballroom has been collecting dust since the first month you left for the war. Besides, invitations to the first ball of the season have long been sent out. I attended and made some acquaintances. Are you proud of me? Are you missing me as much as I am missing you?

Letter Six - DK

My Sweet,

Loneliness is when you are trapped by your stillness while everything around you splits into two and crumbles. And you are stuck in the open space of where everything once was, you in your bubble of muteness as the world crashes and breaks in a cacophonous roar. The feeling that engulfed me during these past few months was beyond my description of loneliness. So with a happy heart, I am telling you that the war is over. I’m coming home soon to hold you in my arms, to show you what this world that surrounds you is truly like — delicate and with the warmth of a glowing morning Sun that promises juvenescent Springs until the end of time. 

Regarding your question about the potential winner of the sensory game you described in your last letter, whether I am the person exploring or explored, I know I would always be the victor as only a true victor can call you “his.” My sweet love, I hope to stick by your side as long as I prefer honey in my tea and you by my side when I sleep. 

However, with a slightly interruptive transition, I have a few requests regarding the contents of your postscript. That is:

One, I am wholly and with every fiber of my mind, soul, and body proud of you. You, my shyest lover who sought friendship in your moments of loneliness, I love you so. Yet I find myself utterly in distress that I cannot co-host our tea parties until later should you hold one in a few days. Our estate is boring, and it must be tiring seeing the same things and people every day for the past few months. I urge you to go out more and explore so I can come home to plentiful stories told in your voice. I want to fall asleep to your descriptions so I can dream of how you see the world around you. 

Two, of course, I am missing you. Even if I were a few yards away from you, I would still miss you. I am currently bothering our treasurer in regards to spending the rest of our budget on a winter wonderland in which we would freeze the entire world so I could easily and quickly sled back home like a seal off an iceberg. However, our treasurer is insistent on saving the budget for lodging, travel, and sustenance. I, for one, think I am right.

Three, I think this might be my last letter in a while as when this stack of parchments finally reaches you, I would almost be home. So I am struggling between keeping this short and straight to the point or long and thoroughly eloquent with everything that I want to write and say to you. Instead of coming to a conclusion by myself, I bid you farewell until we meet again with this set of instructions within my set of requests for you. I’m sorry if the format of my letter makes it very hard for you to read. Like how you described your delusions, I often find myself alone at night imagining you by my side so much that I feel your physical presence next to me. 

Four, as for our portrait in our dining room, I must ask you to perform a favor for me as I have not seen the finished painting myself. It is a test regarding the “likeness” of our portraits that can only be performed by yourself. When you wish to perform the test before I arrive, please excuse all our staff who stay by your side during dinner and ask to eat alone. Should they give you looks, please say that it was requested by me. 

When you are alone, I need you to get into a position in which you can look at yourself through the large mirror that is mounted above the low mantle towards the end of the dining room table. I assume our portrait is hung on the wall at the other side of the dining room table, am I right? If you move the plates and sit on the table, you should be able to look at both your entire body and our portrait through the mirror. Do not worry about making a mess my dear. 

Perhaps this test may be a little lewd for a dinner setting. But after your proposed rendezvous in the kitchen in your last letter, I suppose this test would be nothing to you. 

Look at yourself in the mirror. Can you imagine me behind you, slowly kissing down your neck as I undress you while the candlelights flicker beside us? Our shadows cast against the walls that surround us tell the story of two lovers slowly conjoining into one. And I sit you against the front of my naked body, bending your legs and positioning them so you can see all of you through the mirror.

My love, can you see your lips unfold into a beautiful bloom, leaking with its sweet nectar for your man to taste? The sweet nectar, the glistening substitute to the honey our staff brought alongside our dinner rolls, rolls off the flower and soaks the tablecloth beneath you. Tonight I am not doing anything except revel in your beauty like a man awestruck by something so exquisite that he cannot do anything but stare. 

I want you to imagine that the same me in the portrait is the me you imagine to be behind you, the very me who writes this letter and instructs you on how to pleasure yourself for the night. Suck on your own fingers, my darling. Bring your fingers to your lips, and let me see the way you ready yourself before the pleasure comes. Because what I want is for you to fuck yourself well for me so that after you’ve squirted all over the dining table your pussy continues to throb so much that you confuse it for your beating heart. 

Don’t be shy. Bring your soaked fingers to your folds, and trace along the lines of the petals. Look at how they seemingly open and close as your stomach jerks in reaction. Slowly rub yourself up and down, coaxing that beautiful sigh that I know too well out of your mouth. Feel the pads of your finger mix with your juices, slipping easily and making your hand glide smoother. 

Are you looking at me through the mirror? Are you begging me to instruct you in other ways to satisfy your lust? Do you want to rub your pearl and flick it with your finger in a way that makes you clench and collapse? 

What is it, honey? Are you whining for me to make you feel good? But this is your guided session. Don’t you see yourself through the mirror, so pathetic looking that you would do anything that I tell you to do? Then take that same hand you used to tease yourself and slap your pussy for me. Bring the hand back and bring it down on your pussy quickly and with so much might that the sound of palm against tender skin echoes throughout the empty dining room. 

Don’t you feel pathetic? Getting off from you slapping your own pussy? Doesn’t it please you and make feel so dirty at the same time? When you’re striking your palm against your pussy over and over as your other hand unconsciously reaches upwards to knead your sore nipple, are you looking at yourself through the mirror? Are you still imagining me sitting behind you on our dining table, whispering and taunting you as you attempt to come undone? If your head is not completely clouded with lust, when that pussy is throbbing with such pain and pleasure, you will take your finger to your entrance and insert it slowly so you feel your warm and wet insides slowly swallow your finger the further in it goes. 

Let your mouth hang open as you plug yourself with another finger. Fill the lonely dining room with your sweet moans for me. Listen to your kitten squelch and leak the more you pump yourself so that a warm and hot feeling grows in your stomach, making you clench your body tighter and tighter. Scissor your fingers, and fill up that empty space where my cock usually rests. When you release, pull out your fingers as you come on the tablecloth and look at the cream I miss the most. 

You’re so perfect, you know that? You’d look even more perfect when you’re on your knees with your fingers underneath you and inside of you. Bounce for me my sweet, ride your own fingers as if you’re riding me. Massage yourself with your other hand, grabbing and kneading your breasts and your nipples as I do for you. Can you see yourself through the mirror more clearly when you’re in this position? Do you see how messy and needy you look while you’re pathetically riding your own fingers? Do you wish they were mine? Do you wish they were my thighs? 

Open your eyes for me as you reach another wave of ecstasy. Look at me in the eyes, the man painted next to your glowing figure as you reach your last high. I know you can do it. Scream my name if you love me, and squirt as if your pussy was crying for the man you love. 

Turn your head around when you’ve caught your breath. Look at our portrait. Do you see how I’m smiling at you? 

I’m proud of you, my love. Thank you for holding on for so long. I’ll be home soon. 

P.S. I love you.

Copyright © 2023 Himbocoups. All rights reserved.

[redr0sewrites]

Smutty Kafka Thoughts

this woman has me in a chokehold oh my god SHE IS SOO PRETTYYYY AND HOT OH MY GOGOODODOD I LOVE WOMEN anyways hope u enjoy im mentally unwell😭😭😭

🥀CW: smut, hot women, mentions of eating you out/sucking you off, mentions of lingerie/thigh garters

🥀minors dni

thinking about kafka, her spending hours between your thighs, never satisfied in making you cum only once. your thighs are sticky with your own slick, and yet she doesnt even think about pausing as she pushes you to another orgasm.

kafka being not only charming, but outright flirting with you as though your the only person in the entire world who could ever catch her eye. shes bold enough to flirt with you in public, whispering her dirty fantasies in your ear as he hand trails higher and higher up your leg, ignoring any looks you recieve from strangers

kafka is subtle in her seduction, coming up behind you and whispering loftily in your ear while her hands grip your waist tightly, her thumbs rubbing slow circles through the fabric on your clothes and making the hair on the back of your neck stand upright.

she will stain your neck with lipstick from her kisses, unashamed at how ruined the both of you look. kafka takes it as a point of pride that shes the only person to ever have you, and will show you off constantly

kafka buying you the prettiest lingerie she could find, admiring how it hugs your body and curves. kafka buying you thigh high socks and garters, and marking your thighs while she yanks them apart with the very same garters<3

kafka being obsessed with fucking you, kafka getting pussy drunk or cock drunk and bringing you to euphoria again and again

kafka grinding her hips against your face, whispering the filthiest words to you as she pleasures herself on your tongue.

kafka calling you the sweetest named while treating you so harshly and roughly, and kafka saying the most degrading things while treating you like a monarch and holding you so preciously close. she makes your brain all fuzzy and confused, barely any coherent thoughts form as kafka treats you so drastically different then what she says to you.

kafka being so utterly devoted to your pleasure and riding you mercilessly until your thoughts circle around her, and only her<3

HOPE YOU ENJOYED<3 rahh i love women. send in reqs i am dying pls. i might be writing a kafka x blade x reader smut so stay tuned<3 i also have another aaravos idea forming aswell. either way, good stuff is coming, and lmk if u want more!!!

[iwas-princess]

my birthday girl • suna rintaro

summary: suna loves his pretty girlfriend endlessly, so he goes all out for her birthday.

genre: fluff, slightly suggestive

a/n: hi, this is my first post in a while. i decided to crawl out of my cave for my bestie @ilovesillycats birthday!!! i hope you all enjoy <3

“happy, baby?”

suna’s fingers ran along your inner thigh as he leaned in, sending a shiver down your spine at the tickle.

you smiled prettily in return to his question, nodding softly to confirm.

“very.”

the moment your soft breath hit his face he grinned before snaking a hand below your seat and pulled your chair closer to him. the loud screech of the iron legs against the tile floor caused your cheeks to heat as a few other customers turned around to glare. but once, your knee touched his, all anxieties disappeared and his grin turned into a smirk at the new proximity of you.

“i’m so glad, sweet girl.” he practically mewled with how pretty he sang it. “all i want is for my birthday girl to be happy.”

if you weren’t beat red before he spoke in that manner, you are now. you could feel your heart practically about to beat out of your chest with how nervous he gets you, how love struck.

“you’re such a pretty girl, y’know that?”

the smell of him filled the air you breathed, like it had all day. not a moment went by that he didn’t find a way to have you close to him today, and you found it beautiful. such a beautiful way to spend your big day, you thought.

his fingers caressed your soft cheek delicately, as if you were the most wonderful piece of art he ever set his hands on, as he guided your eyes to his.

“my pretty girl.”

the moment they set on his hazel orbs, you knew you were done for.

“everything okay, princess?” he teased.

suna knew exactly how to make you tick and blush so preciously, and he used those tactics so shamelessly— even in a very public restaurant.

you blinked at him a few times, utterly flustered as his cat eyes twinkled.

“c-can we go to the hotel now? i’m full.” you lied.

as much as you loved the food that you hadn’t a chance to eat yet, you were desperate to get your menace of a boyfriend back in private to avoid any farther embarrassment and to be more comfortable. you wanted to bask in his sweet essence before he turned back into the toad he is midnight.

as you suspected, he eyed you suspiciously.

“you haven’t even eat yet.“

you knew he would have noticed: suna notices everything you do. you mentally slapped yourself for even thinking of lying to him when there was no point to. the truth is what would surely get you what you wanted.

“i dont want to.” you beamed at him suddenly, eying him fondly and even placing your hand on his cheek— to which he gladly leaned into. “i just want to spend some time with you… alone.”

mischief gleamed in his eyes at the word ‘alone’ as it fell from your honey-sweet lips, and for a moment be contemplated calling the waiter back over to pay: until he remembered.

he frowned slightly and shook his head against your small hand.

“let’s eat first, then you’ll have me all to yourself, yeah?”

your smile dropped, which he noticed quickly and raced you to the next word.

“because i know you haven’t had anything in that belly today, so let’s eat up.” he sat up straighter in his own chair, taking both hands back and placing them somewhere else: his left over your shoulders and his right for himself. “i’ll be right here in the meantime.”

you grumbled in impatience but eventually gave in when he explained to you that ‘the longer you take complaining, the more time we spend here.’ and it shut you up.

——

“happy, princess?”

no matter how many times he repeated his question, you were still at loss for words. happy couldn’t even begin to describe the irrevocable joy that you felt through your whole being as you gaped at his gift.

your eyed weld with tears, you had no idea what to say.

this.. this was too much. he really outdid himself with your date, but this…

“please say something because it was super hard to find and i have been thinking of this moment for a month.” he sighed as another minute of silence passed.

your eyes slowly ripped away from the gift bag and met his. you both were a little tipsy from all of the wine prior, yet this moment seemed to sober him up with the way he seemed nervous— of your reaction no doubt.

you cleared your throat, trying to form words for him but failed as you glanced back down to the necklace.

it was expensive, very expensive— which is why you postponed buying it for yourself for so long. rent and groceries were always above your own wants. suna knew that, but he also knew how badly you wanted it. so, as impulsive as he is, he finally bought it for you after your many years of yearning.

by first glance, the locket looked like any normal heart-shaped piece of jewelry that any sweet boyfriend would get his girlfriend, but it was so much more than that.

it was real gold, 24 karats of it, with the initials ‘s.r’ engraved in it, and inside bared your favorite photo of you two— the clumsy arcade picture from the day he said ‘i love you’ for the first time.

it meant little to most, but so so much to you and you’d be forever grateful to suna for it.

“i-i-“ you struggled to find words yet again the longer you stared at it, too emotional to form words let alone think them.

suna, knowing you like the back of his hand, could sense this and took it as a sign that you were more than happy.

he embraced you finally, his long arms wrapping around you and pulling you tight to his chest. with the way you resisted him so little told him that he took the right route with physical touch.

“th-thank you.”

he grinned at the sound of your broken voice and placed a kiss to your head.

“it’s no problem, my birthday girl. you deserve it.”

——

“rin, this is ridiculous!” you giggled at your childish boyfriend.

he ignored you and continued tucking you in by stuffing the blanket under your body aggressively.

“hush, i’m almost done. boy, you sure are fussy.”

you scoffed at his comment but stayed silent as he finished up and climbed back into bed, clinging to your side as usual. his arm slid around your shoulders and hugged you to his side before shifting and placing a kiss on your head.

the soft sounds of your sleepy breathing made him chuckle, he knew your sleep habits enough to assume you were dozing off already.

afterall, you were rather sleepy after you shared your cake, so much so that you kept biting his arm sporadically to keep your self awake.

“sleepy, bubba?”

you hummed tiredly, your eyes practically glued shut as exhaustion took it’s toll on you. your head suddenly felt heavy as you rested on his chest and you let out a soft yawn at the realization.

giving you a tight squeeze, rintaro sighed in content at the feel of his girl in his arms. there truly was nothing better than you, he decided.

“you can go to sleep, princess. i’ll be right here in the morning.”

“love you…” you incoherently mumbled before sleep took over and your consciousness was ripped from you as you fell into sweet bliss.

“love you too, baby.”

with one final soft squeeze around your shoulders, he leaned down slightly to the crown of your head and gave you a lingering kiss ‘goodnight’ like he always had.

except tonight he stayed up a little longer to watch you, bask in how beautiful you look as you’re snuggled into him, makeup wiped clean and in his stained pajama shirt.

he imagined making you his wife someday, the thought of ending every night with this sight was such a bonus to that plan. he hoped your children looked as gorgeous as you, if not a spit image.

in that moment, as you began to let out light snores, he promised himself he would never leave this sight or jeopardize it.

“always here.”

[smh-yoon]

shinobu horny hours bc i see almost NO wlw content here (shinobu x fem! reader)

pls shes so hot and soft and i love her <3

MDNI - ageless/underage blogs will be blocked

shinobu is the most graceful woman you’ve ever met. although she can be blunt, sometimes cruel or even bitter. regardless, she was kind towards others, and wanted to believe there was hope in the world. that being said, her heart was guarded, still reeling the loss of her sister.

it had taken some time for her to open up to you, to speak her feelings. she’d denied it for so long, terrified of loving and losing someone yet again. when she did, she gave you her everything. she was always at your side, bound to protect you from anything that came your way.

it was a surprise that such a strong willed woman had fallen apart in your hands.

she was squirming, whining under you as your fingers toyed with her clit. her haori was spread beneath her, the beautiful butterfly pattern putting you in a trance, desperate to take in every inch of her.

her lips were red, swollen from your kisses. you nearly swallowed her whole, and the way your tongue caressed her own made her want to stay on your bed forever. dainty fingers threaded through your hair, grasping to pull you closer, desperate to feel your body against hers.

she was gripping your hair again, except she was bucking her hips into your mouth, moaning out at the feeling of your tongue against her cunt. the way you would drag your tongue so lazily against her clit, down to her pussy, pushing your fingers into her so slowly. it was messy, spit and cum shining in your lips as you gave a hard suck to her clit, making her jolt against you.

the face she made when she came was something you thought should be in a museum. her flushed face, hazy eyes and parted lips so preciously releasing chants of your name. she sounded so good saying your name.

slotting her legs between yours, she grasped desperately at your thigh as you began to grind down against her. the way her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath brought your attention to her pretty tits, nipples hard and neglected.

she’d try to save herself the embarrassment, but the feeling your wet pussy against hers and your warm hands on her tits made her cum within minutes.

[realshadow01-blog]

*Pop* just like a candy apple! {Platonic Radioapple!}

Introduction

|| Hello! I just wanted to say hello again as I've been gone for almost two years, I think. :3 I wanted to start writing again, for some reason, and it's 2:43am. I am not sure if I would post this or not, depends if I feel like it.||

|| Sorry for the absence, and if any characters are ooc (out of character) too! I have watched all of season 1 - but I can't capture the characters personalities that well. And sorry if my grammar or wording is bad, I don't know that much English as I thought. ||

|| This is a tickle drabble/short fan fiction post, and I don't expect any - but I will be taking requests for drabbles and headcannons! ||

>> || Summary for introduction: I do not know much English, I haven't captured the characters that well, this is a tickle-based, short fan fiction and I'm sorry for my (almost) two year absence. And, I am taking requests for drabbles and headcannons (no art or fics :<) || <<

|| Warnings (I guess!): Tickles, Swearing ||

---

So, the Demon is back again! Back again with a new sense of humor and a new ruthless torturing method. The Radio Demon is back! He's returned, what does it mean for a certain rival? Or a few?~ The future will decide...~

It was a surprisingly quiet day in the Hazbin Hotel. Everyone was either out celebrating or having a full day in bed after they defeated the Angels. People were bummed out, injured and flat-out exhausted.

Lucifer decided to stay at the Hotel for a while, or at least visit often, and he was watching TV in the common room as he held his most prized rubber duck. Charlie was out with Vaggie, Angel and Husk were out too and pretty much the only people in the hotel were Niffty, Alastor and Lucifer.

Alastor was nowhere to be found, I mean, where would you expect an unpredictable being like him to be?

Nifty was off cleaning.

You already heard about Lucifer.

That changed when Alastor's shadow crawled around the floors of the hotel, until he emerged from thin air. His grin was as sinister and menacing as always, although something was off. It looked slightly strained. He was preciously annoyed by another Overlord, but we won't get into that, but it could be why... He then went to go find Lucifer, for some reason.

Lucifer was throwing his rubber duck against the wall and catching it like a ball, abandoning the television so all it became was simple background noise. He continued to throw the rubber duck until it hit Alastor in the face.

“Oops....” Lucifer giggled mockingly, not in the slightest sorry, but decided to apologize anyway to make matters better for him, if they were becoming bad. Although, Alastor, in return, grabbed the rubber duck and crushed it in his bare hand, sensing Lucifer's infuriated pity, despite Lucifer showing no emotion whatsoever. “Was that necessary, Alastor?”

“No,” Alastor's grin grew as he threw the shriveled rubber duck aside, his radio filter still as strong as ever, “but I wanted to. Doesn't that seem fair?~”

Lucifer groaned, annoyed. “What kind of shitty question is that!?”

“A reasonable question that needs answering.”

“Well, I won't fuckin’ answer!”

“...”

“As you wish.” Alastor's grin grew, but still looked a little strained.

Lucifer, funny enough, saw his strained grin and smirked.

“Is the demon cracking at something?~ Are you pissy about your wound from Adam?~” Lucifer retorted, giggling, which absolutely broke Alastor's patience and before either of them knew it, Alastor had thrown himself at Lucifer and pinned him to the floor, scribbling his claws into Lucifer's sensitive, tender sides, earning a surprised squeal and a string of squeaky laughter. “EEK!!~ FUHUHUHUCK!!- ALAHAHASTOR!!??”

Alastor had just smirked, moving his hands to random spots to keep the short king occupied, sneakily slithering his tendrils to Lucifer and restraining him swiftly as the tips of the tendrils restraining him tickled into the crooks of his wings - the 'wings pits' if you will. No matter what they're called, they sent Lucifer into hysteria.

Lucifer's screaming, wheezing and frantic laughter could be heard basically throughout the whole of Hell from how loud it was. Alastor only had the slightest issues with that, so he closed some doors to prevent people from coming in, if they did try. “ALAHAHAHASTOR- WHEHEHEN IHI CAHAHATCH YOUHUHU ALAHAHASTOR!!- GAHAHAHA!!?”

That wasn't the worst of it, oh boy...

The main reason the phrase “Lucifer's screaming, wheezing and frantic laughter could be heard basically throughout the whole of Hell” was used because it was the truth. Not only was his laughter loud, but Alastor had been devilish enough to broadcast his laughter live! :)

“Go on, Lucifer,” *Alastor smiled menacingly, voice hushed, “Make the microphone pop like a candy apple...~” He teased, leaving him to face the torture and humiliation for a bit.

---

hope this was good!! sorry if it was short, i was pondering over a draft from a year ago and I haven't written a fan fiction in a hot minute >.<

{This MIGHT have some more parts!!!}

[cozyjae]

honey bear- n. jm 💞🎀

info: jaemin x reader, established relationship, domestic

wc: 2.0k 

a/n: i’m currently posting my old drafts! <3 i hope y’all enjoy 

You share a lot with Jaemin.

You have always shared a lot with Jaemin. It had always made sense, in a way; shared glances and smiles that morphed slowly and preciously into shared kisses in your shared bed and your shared mugs sitting next to each other in your shared kitchen.

Jaemin is naturally good at sharing. It was like second nature to him, to always happily extend anything he had to others. To extend his love, comfort, and attention to those who needed it, so often and thoughtlessly that he sometimes overextended his energy and gave out more than he received; coming home to flop onto your bed with tired eyes and open arms that irresistibly draw you in, his head finding your shoulder to squish his cheek against your shirt and wrap his arms around your waist. 

Jaemin really does like his job at a local day care. He’s an adolescent education major and began working as a teacher’s assistant there last year. It was a nice job with flexible hours, friendly coworkers, and really sweet kids; and he loved the ability to care for and nurture and the fast paced environment. 

Even when you first met Jaemin, you quickly realized his major and future career choice made total sense. He was so obviously ready to immediately share his love and attentiveness, filled to the brim with tenderness that he had no qualms about extending and giving to others. To you and many others, Jaemin encompassed and embodied a very precious skill and ability to continuously give and give. 

But Jaemin also really likes off time, rest, and the opportunity to be cared for. And after long days like today, where he had a full workload for school with two finals quickly approaching and an afternoon full of tired and restless children- he can only tiredly drag himself up your building's stairs with multi-colored marker stains on his hands and dried glitter glue somehow stuck on his shirt. 

For someone as usually loud and engaged as Jaemin, he still regularly needed the quietness and reassurance silence could offer, and sometimes- a lot of times, simply your presence was rejuvenating enough for him. 

You were always there to help him, to coax him into a warm bath or shower and comfier clothes and give to him whatever he needed, a dynamic that only you could ever offer. And for that reason, he’s excited to open your apartment door and mess with the fickle, old lock that needs replacing, to return to exactly what he needed.

Walking in, he immediately sees you at the kitchen table, pencil in hand trailing over one of many papers spread out before you, most likely studying for one of your upcoming finals. The apartment smells of the candle you bought a few weeks ago while out shopping together, smelling of fresh balsam and firewood. 

You look up and immediately smile as Jaemin drops his bag and coat by the front door and his keys in the bowl that you insist on keeping by the door, slipping off his shoes and lining them up neatly next to yours. By the time he finishes, you’re already next to him, hand sliding down his somehow sore back soothingly.  

“Long day?” You ask quietly, looking at Jaemin who watches you with glazed over eyes as he only nods, easily embracing you, fingers encircling around your waist and muttering something into your shirt that sounds vaguely like a yes. 

Jaemin’s fingers are cold from the long walk from the bus station to your apartment in the winter weather and it makes you reach for his hand to instinctively warm it.

You hum at Jaemin’s response- or lack thereof. “Shower?” You ask gently, intertwining your hands with his and noticing the colorful stains adorning his slender fingers. 

Jaemin nods slowly, eyes flickering up to look into yours. “Please,” he says, voice hoarser and weaker than he anticipates as he continues, “come in with me?”

“Ok,” you agree immediately and he smiles as you coax him into your bathroom gingerly, one of your hands still stubbornly loosely entangled with his. 

The shower’s steam feels good on your skin as Jaemin steps in after you and sighs happily, running his fingers through his hair, warm water droplets beginning to bead across his bare skin.

Your hand moves to hold his forearm, drawing him closer to you as you move to grab your shampoo bottle. He lets you situate him easily and lowers his head so you can lather the shampoo through his hair soothingly.

It smells of fresh citrus and smells like you and Jaemin likes it, all but purring at your comforting actions, letting his mind relax as he only focuses on the way your hands works so gently.

You then use body wash to work away the stains on his hands gently and then bring your soapy hand to cup his cheek tenderly, pressing a light kiss to the crown of his head that he smiles down are

“Me too,” Jaemin says eventually, grabbing the shampoo and making grabbing motions to you that you give into easily.

You’re even closer now as his hands work carefully and slowly. Jaemin eventually becomes distracted by his initial task, instead moving to kiss your neck somewhat messily, making you laugh breathlessly as his arms snake around your bare waist from behind. He helps you turn around in his hold carefully and then instantly connects his lips to yours, sounds drowned out by the running water. 

Jaemin’s mouth moves back to your neck as your hands splay across the firm skin of his back as he moves slowly, sucking small marks into your skin, lips hot and mixing with the hot water and making you suddenly want to feel his lips on yours.

You run your hand through his wet hair and he pulls away slowly, slightly breathless as you immediately lean in to kiss him. He moans quietly into the kiss as your tongue gently slips into his mouth and you both continue languidly for a few more moments until he eventually breaks away from you, too tired to really initiate anything more. 

Jaemin smiles at you, head tilted in obvious endearment and hand on the small of your back. “Love you,” he says easily, voice sounding more hopeful and relaxed than it had when he first came home.

You smile back, hand resting gingerly across his collarbone. “Love you too.”

After your shower, you grab the towels you laid out previously and insist on wrapping Jaemin tightly up in the white, fluffy towel. He leans into your touch, his skin now warm and soft, making you smile to yourself contently. 

You dress in pajamas quickly, watching Jaemin move around, towel eventually moving to only hanging loosely around his waist as he holds it up and rustles through his drawers for clothes with the other hand.  

You mutter something about having eaten and Jaemin stops his movements abruptly to look up at you guiltily.

You frown, knowing Jaemin’s bad habit of making sure you ate properly but never extending that concern to himself. You also know his habit of having a ridiculous amount of caffeine too. You bite your lip in response, not having the heart to chastise him right now.

You don’t say anything else and instead, leave your shared room to make tea and dig around for other food to make. Your lacking food supply reminds you that a trip to the grocery store was necessary in the near future but you make do with the ramen found in the back of your cabinet.

Jaemin eventually wanders out of your room, seeking your presence as his sock clad feet pad across the tile floors to meet you in the kitchen. He back hugs you, body warm as he slots his chin into the crook of your neck.

You stand together over the stove as you monitor the one pot with the ramen and the other with the tea. “Thank you,” he mutters into the soft material of your sweatshirt and you only hum. “Of course,” you say, “we’ll have a proper meal tomorrow,” you say, voice promising. 

Jaemin smiles, “I’ll cook,” he volunteers, cheek now pressed warmly against yours and you feel the smile, the rising of his cheeks against yours. 

Jaemin eats quickly, occasionally raising his chopsticks and holding the noodles out to you, which you accept as he watches with a small, satisfied smile.

He realizes he actually really likes the taste of the herbal lavender tea you bought, one he originally was hesitant about, attached to his typical monstrous amount of espresso. But it was proving to be relaxing and lulling, just like your presence. Jaemin also realizes that he definitely likes it partly because it reminds him of you.

You leave the dishes in the sink to do later because you had more pressing matters of being wrapped up in blankets with Jaemin, which you think is always an important and pressing matter. 

Jaemin falls onto your mattress easily, tea and shower making more tired and sleepy than he was before, eyes fluttering shut as he watches you move around the bedroom.

At some point, it had started raining but you don’t notice until you're settling into bed, the sound hitting the window pane rhythmically and quietly.

You grab an extra blanket from your closet and drape it across the two of you as Jaemin immediately closes the space between you, fingers prodding at yours until your hands are intertwined in a firm grip. 

Jaemin’s body radiates heat as you’re enveloped in the haze of permanently vanilla and bergamot scented air of your sheets from the faded scent of Jaemin’s cologne. His cheek is squished into your side, in the soft material of your pajama pants as he pulls his body further into you to get comfortable. He sighs, eyes still closed, little puffs of breath escaping the tiny parting of his lips. 

Your hands eventually break apart and your hand comes to run through his drying hair, running through the dark strands soothingly. You continue for a while, noticing Jaemin’s gradually slowing breaths against your side.

Your other hand holds your phone, checking your email and texts, not as tired as Jaemin was- but still incredibly relaxed. You realize that doing all of this for Jaemin does something for you too, extending your warmth to him only fuels the growing warmth and satisfaction inside of you. 

Your movements eventually slow to a stop, assuming he was asleep or close to it but Jaemin almost instantly muffles something between a grunt and a whine of discontent, eyes still squeezed shut. 

“I thought you were asleep,” you say quietly and he shakes his head childishly. He then opens his eyes; so wide and so round and crafted perfectly to look at you so genuinely, watching you dazed but present in the moment and then he’s smiling at you airily. 

“Your lips are soft,” you say randomly as your hand returns to run through his hair. 

“I’ve been using that lip balm that you gave me,” Jaemin smiles proudly, lips puckering momentarily to show off the smooth skin. 

You grin too as he twists to look at you, suddenly attentive with alert eyes. “Thank you,” he says eventually, eyes breaking away from your gaze only to look at you again overwhelming earnestly and intensely, “so much.”

“Of course,” you say easily, “always.”

Always. 

Always sounds incredibly nice and lovely to Jaemin. A lot of things go unspoken between the two of you. But he’s glad ‘always’ doesn’t. It’s nice to hear that kind of reassurance, to know so clearly that your lives had intertwined in a very domestic and easy way. To know you were always there to extend such genuine warmth and care to him. There are a lot of shared promises and words between the two of you, but Jaemin thinks that ‘always’ is definitely his favorite. 

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

Epilogue: Belize

Summary: About 1 year later the world very much seems to be a different one…

Pairing: Gabriel x nurse!Fem!Reader

Content Warnings: Just Fluff

A/N: Thank you all for sticking with me on this one! 🖤🫶🏻

Find the entire Crybaby-Miniseries here!

Tagging the horny horde:

@crypticsewerslut @quicksilversg1rl @cc-luvr @icarus-star @milaeth @roryculkinsgf @spookyorchid @arch1viste @whoareyoi @angelsanarchy @blueberrypancakesworld @rocketqueen-world @lifelessvessel @doddernix @svgarcaine @amayalul @basementgrl222 @kristennero-wallacewellsver @iiheartsai @fan-goddess @shady-the-simp

I will not ask you where you came from

I will not ask you, neither should you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips

We should just kiss like real people do

- Like Real People Do By Hozier

The soft sounds of waves crashing against the shore filled your ears as you were about to take another sip from a straw ending in a cut-open coconut. The fresh taste filled your mouth before you gulped the liquid down, sitting straight up again to allow your eyes to roam over the shoreline. A nearly violently bright blue pair of shorts caught your attention and a wide, satisfied grin tugged at your mouth whilst watching Gabriel play around in the water.

About 3 months ago, right after the two of you had somehow managed to bail, swindle and cheat Gabe out of that damned hellhole of an institution, you had decided on selling everything and by everything you had, in fact, meant everything. From your apartment to your car and to the last DVD out of your very preciously cultivated collection. All of it went into two one-way-tickets to Belize and a stay at a cozy, little BnB until you had your stuff figured out.

Getting a job in Belize City thankfully hadn't been too hard on you and instead of mint-coloured scrubs and sneaky linoleum floor you now took care of senior citizens in an adorable retirement home close to the beach.

For the first time in your life, you had learned to acknowledge the little thing, the tiny, minuscule happenings and surroundings. For the first time, you really felt the warm sun shining down on your face and you didn't mind that it made you sweat a little, no, you welcomed it because every minute thing now happened together with Gabriel.

Seeing him smile at you every day, softly waving at you from the shoreline, his legs knee-deep into the water, nearly had you sniffling and sobbing with all the love you felt for that once terribly sad and alone boy on Ward 4. He didn't deserve any of this…not being abandoned by his family and not being pushed into a system that didn't even treat him like a human being, but now, being with you in Belize, none of that even so much as touched him anymore.

After Gabe had ultimately been dismissed from the ward, all of his belongings cramped into an old suitcase and ready to practically jump on the plane, his brother did have the audacity to call you up quite a few times, cussing at you, threatening legal action and all that meaningless ramble but nothing ever came out of it. On one very peculiar occasion, where you had offered Gabe to answer the call, he had snapped at his brother in the most calm and precise way you'd ever witness.

"I'm finally happy now. Fuck off and never bother us again." Two short and sharply aimed statements before Gabe had hung up on his brother.

Ever since then, neither of you had been called or texted again and after the first, very exciting weeks of setting in, it grew more and more quiet and calm with you starting your job at the retirement home and Gabriel finally being in very frequent touch with the outside world. Frequent to a point where he started going on long walks at the beach, especially in the evenings, stargazing until his neck hurt, or taking excited trips to the local grocery stores and farmers markets.

Thinking about that had you smiling into the sun, your hand rummaging around in a striped linen bag to fish out an aluminum-wrapped set of sandwiches.

"The cheese from Belizie, huh?"

[a-french-coconut]

Drew Tanaka (Part 3)

She sees the hurt in Lacy’s eyes when she makes a cruel remark about her makeup. 

It’s impossible to ignore Mitchell’s glare when she throws away his used shoes, “making more space for better clothes”. 

She feels the dislike for her growing in Thomas and Héloise. 

Good, better for them to hate her. It will hurt less when they inevitably leave her. 

She knows she’s hurting them but one day they’ll understand that she did for good reasons. 

It’s laughable, irony at its finest. 

A child of Aphrodite scared of love. 

It might be the most beautiful thing the Fates ever crafted. 

Camp already didn’t like her, it doesn’t take too much effort for it to despise her. 

A little flirting over there then a charming smile here, some charmspeak and two campers are fighting, her standing in the middle, modern Helen as Menelaus and Paris fight for her. Here it is not Aphrodite, oh no she’s sure her mother is enjoying the view, but Chiron that separates the enchanted boys and girls. 

At the beginning, they forgive her. Put her despicable attitude on Silena’s death and that she’s allowed to grieve, that nobody blames her. 

Drew laughs, a cruel cold sound (such unlike Silena’s warm, inviting one) promising even crueler words. 

She doesn’t remember all the insults she hurled at her dead sister, Clarisse’s punch has been quite effective on her nose and memory. 

Months passes and Drew’s eyeliner gets pinker and sharper. Her makeup is an armor, one she wears every seconds of every day. 

While the demigods of Camp Half-Blood forget Silena Beauregard, Drew dreams of her every night, laughing over bodies aflame, hugging her and murmuring kinds words, talking to that damned bracelet. 

It’s not a healthy lifestyle. But Silena is true daughter of Love, consuming her very essence and mental health even in death. No amount of makeup is waterproof enough to resist her endless tears at night. 

Eight months after the battle of Manhattan, Drew Tanaka can finally go to sleep without seeing her dead sister. In the grand scheme of the universe, it’s not such a big deal, not when Percy Jackson disappeared and that Annabeth Chase is going mad trying to find him. But to her, it’s liberating. 

She still thinks about Silena from time to time. And every time her heart turns into a boiling inferno of hate and grief but now she has time to breathe, air enters her lungs and she isn’t suffocating anymore. 

Some campers see through her façade, Will Solace harbors no love for those who murdered half his cabin while Connor Stoll stills has to force a smile when a new camper asks him about Luke. 

She always admired Will’s capacity to forgive, to plaster a wide smile for every camper entering the infirmary, even the children of Ares who wished the death of Cabin 7’s residents during the war. 

If it was Drew, she would have screamed at them until her throat was raw and buried them under guilt and shame. 

She would also have kept that stupid chariot very preciously, not landing it to Annabeth Chase who had been manic, mumbling things about the Grand Canyon and a guy with one shoe. 

When said chariot crashes into the lake, ruining it completely, it’s funny to see Will loses his normally calm behavior, Annabeth’s promise to fix it doing nothing to calm him down. 

“Where’s Jackson ?” she asks, not seeing the son of Poseidon. 

“He wasn’t at the Grand Canyon, Hera just wanted to keep playing with me.” Grits Annabeth, “but we found these three.” 

She gestures at the three demigods behind her, a tall blond guy with electrical blue eyes, a small latino boy and a girl with horrendous chopped hair. 

“Woah, really feeling the love here.” Mumbles the latino boy, his hands fiddling with some strings. 

“Yeah, what’s your problem ? You’ve been looking at us, especially Jason, like we are the ones who kidnapped your boyfriend.” Adds the girl, crossing her arms defensively. 

“Nobody wants you here hun, you and the rat nest you call hair can leave for all we care.” 

Seeing her face reddening is most amusing, Annabeth’s scolding having no real effect on her but for the sake of her authority in Camp, she obliges and keeps her mouth shut. 

The latino boy, Leo Valdez she learns, is claimed really quickly. She had to say he doesn't have the typical built of an Hephaestus kid, all scrawny and elfish features.

She wonders whose children are Jason and Piper McLean, Jason could very well be one of her siblings while Piper is certainly not. Maybe Hermes, or Iris with those kaleidoscope eyes.

With one look, she can assert what kind of girl Piper is. She's the girl thinking herself superior for not caring about her appearance, for not wearing makeup.

She's the type of girl who hates girls like Drew.

Well, Drew has no problem hating back.

There is obviously something between them, the way Piper reaches for Jason's hand and-

Oh

He doesn't take it back.

Drew tilts her head curiously, looking straight into his blue eyes, trying to decipher his emotions.

Confusion, anguish, fear, a sentiment of not belonging, all of those are very common for new arrivals.

What is not, however, is the void. She cannot feel anything else, no joy or sadness.

It's like he doesn't have them.

"I don't remember anything except my name, sorry."

Or maybe he forgot them.

Drew frowns, missing completely the dialogue between Jason and Annabeth about roman names or whatever, not important.

It would seem he has amnesia, a severe one for even forgetting emotions. She's not sure she can help with actual memories but she could try to charmspeak him at a subconscious level, trigger the emotions back.

Her gaze shifts ever so lightly, enough to meet Piper's eyes looking at her with unhidden dislike, her hand tightening around Jason's.

Drew rolls her eyes, typical of that kind of girl, to think that every women looking at their boyfriend are interested.

But fine, she'll play the game.

She makes the sweetest smile she can and grabs Jason by the arm, the poor boy getting really confused at her actions.

"Come on, I'll show you Camp while Will takes Leo and Annabeth guides Piper. I'm much better company."

Jason, the oblivious type it would seems, nods and follows her. She smiles at him, winking at Piper behind them who's looking absolutely furious.

She first takes him to the Big House, where Chiron wanted to meet him, then shows him all the different cabins. When he asks her about Percy Jackson, she tells him about his quests, the battle of Manhattan and his perfect love story with Annabeth.

She doesn't make any flirtatious remarks, treating him like she would with a brother. Really she just wanted to piss off Piper, she has not romantic interest in Jason whatsoever.

When she finishes the tour, she leaves him alone with the Hermes Cabin and goes join Will in the infirmary.

"So, how's Leo ? Seems like the hyperactive kind."

"Spot on, poor Nyssa already had Harley to babysit and now him."

"You don't seem to like him that much."

"It's not that, he just asked questions about sensitive subjects. He had no idea about the battle of Manhattan, it was on national news how could he miss that ? And then, Jake gave him Beckendorf's bed, did you know they had secret rooms, and he was really inventive about it. I know, he didn't know it but come on, asking to specify how he died just to know it is wasn't on his bed ?"

As he rants, he organises the infirmary's shelves again and again, even though everything is already in order.

"Sup bitches !"

Connor strolls in, going to sit just next to Drew dodging easily the band aids coming his way.

"How's Jason ?" she asks him.

"Poor dude really got his memory messed up. You're interested in him ?"

"No, just wanted to mess with McLean."

"I bet she's your sister."

"Don't be ridiculous, she looks like she crawled out of a dumpster."

"Remember that for tonight."

"I'm siding with Connor on this one," Will chimes in.

"You are both wrong."

"Anyways, did you know that Piper passed out in Hera's cabin ?"

"Why didn't you start with that ?" panics Will, "does she need any help ?"

"Nah, Annabeth didn't call any of your siblings playing basketball just next to them, I figure she's fine."

They stay together until campfire, Drew and Will shamelessly teasing Connor about Malcolm, the son of Hermes blushing and yet denying their claims.

"You do know that Travis complains to me about how your pining, right ?" reveals Will.

"He's so dead next Capture the Flag."

Campfire goes as usual until Jason summons a lightning bolt and a quest is issued.

"Son of Zeus and brother of Thalia Grace," whistles Connor seated next to her, "I did not see that coming."

Drew doesn't pay him much mind, focusing on the prophecy announcing that a child of Aphrodite must go on the quest.

She's the oldest in the cabin, the most experienced fighter and more importantly, the only one with charmspeak.

Bright young Lacy with the cutest smile.

Heloise dreaming about her creations on the runway.

Thomas' aspiration to be a therapist, to help demigods deal with their feelings.

Mitchell who's got a little mortal brother waiting for him when he's old enough to survive in the mortal world.

What does she have ?

A father a little distant but who loves her dearly.

A letter of acceptation to Brooklyn Academy of the Gifted for next year.

She has everything to lose going on that quest, risking death.

"The dove obviously means Aphrodite. I volunteer to help Jason on his quest."

She resists the urge of scoffing at the wide eyes looking at her.

Drew Tanaka, doing a selfless and heroic act ?

All of them forget she was in Manhattan, fighting for Olympus as much as them.

All of them forget the beads on her necklace, giving her seniority over many seated around the fire.

All of them forget that Drew has once been a loving sister, always cold but never one to back down from protecting those she loves.

It's alright, she doesn't mind.

Even children of Love need someone to love them back.

"I'm the one going !"

Of course, dumpster girl is going to make this complicated, she groans internally.

"Oh, and with what experience ?" she asks Piper sarcastically whose looking very embarrassed with the whole camp looking at her, "do you know how to kill specific monsters ? Do you know how to fight ? No answer ? You arrived this morning, McLean, you're not qualified for a quest."

And no matter how much you get on my nerves, you don't deserve to die.

"But- Rachel spoke to me in Hera's Cabin !"

By Aphrodite, stop trying to get killed !

"And what do the rest of you all think ? Who should go on this quest ? Piper, or me ? Don't you think I'm more capable, I actually have training that will help me survive in the mortal world. I'm the best choice."

Sweetness coats her voice, all the campers agreeing with her words, a pale pink halo glowing around her.

She smirks at Piper.

I win, honey.

"Stop listening to her ! Don't you see she's tricking you ? Don't listen to her words."

Her smile's drops instantly, eyes narrowing on Piper.

Was that-

I can't be.

But she cannot feel her charmspeak on the campers anymore, the spell broken somehow.

It was then.

Piper just charmspeaked the whole camp and didn't even do it on purpose.

"I know I just got here the morning but I feel like I must go on this quest."

How infuriating.

"You're nor lightning nor forge sweetheart." she snarls at Piper, "And you are certainly not a daughter of Aphrodite."

At her mother's name, Piper glows pink as a holographic dove appears above her. When the glow diminishes, she is now dressed in a white peplos, golden jewels adorning her arms. Her hair is no longer the disaster it was when she arrived, now long and silky.

Chiron bows, the whole camp following his gesture, even Drew.

"All hail Piper McLean, daughter of Aphrodite !"

"Still convinced she's not your sister ?"

"Shut up Connor."

Part 4 posted !

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

"The start of / the end of — a movie I've seen... before." [prev.]

Step 3 is finished ..•ᐠ.˙( ੭˘ ³˘)੭~`.•ᐟthank˙ .❤•˙. god ｡ﾟ･ﾟ✧˙..

Background below:

[CW: anxiety, depression, eating disorder, PTSD, survivors guilt, Attempted Suicide and Depictions of Self-Harm]

Song: Lizzy McAlpine - ceilings

—

Like a pearl, Ai grows into something preciously beautiful and refined with each passing day. She is not perfect, not as strong as you would expect, but there is something of a quality in her so fine that she is still coveted by those that have found her.

There's an air of grace and confidence in how she moves and acts, learned in part from all her passionate years of dance. Her voice is like crystal chimes, an instrument of music and always two steps from another sweet and tinkling laugh. She's warm and bright with stars in her eyes and love in her heart, influenced through the years in all the very best ways by her family and friends.

And she's not perfect. It's something that has to be said because many people like to think that she is - that the refinement of her self at this blossoming age has been something she never had to work for - but those people simply don't know Ai one bit.

After 13 Ai went through some of the hardest years of her young life. Learning to let people love her (that they could love her - that she was someone to love) learning to let herself change and fail without the fear that it would destroy everything she had grown to love as well. There were still things she had never expressed to her family, likely never would. They still didn't know about the full story of the car crash or why it affected her so, it was something she wouldn't even tell her therapist, and it put a lot of delay on her growth as people struggled to find the source of her ever present anxiety and guilt at simply existing in a world that her first family did not.

But there were lights to guide her: Only Cove, Cliff, Derek and Lee at first - sometimes Ma, when Ai was desperate, eventually mom and Liz as years moved on - but eventually Miranda grew, stubbornly, into the garden of her life and Terri and Jude quickly came with her. They curled around her walls like ivy, surrounded her lonely tower with life and beauty and wonder. With love.

And time passed, and Ai grew with them.

It was Jude that first heard the full tale of the car accident (Miranda was having a sleepover and he found Ai alone, crying in the kitchen after an especially terrible nightmare, he sat there with her all night - listened to her - made her feel safe). The next person to find out was Cliff, who had helped her moms go searching for the girl after an especially terrible fight (they sat in the grass, Ai tucked tightly under his one arm as she cried into his chest. Despite all her beliefs that he wouldn't - Cliff stayed. He said he would always stay). Surprisingly, she was never able to tell the story to Cove. Despite being her dearest, closest everything, Ai was always too afraid for his gentle heart to burden him like that. And so, with her world just a little more wider, a little more brighter, she continued to grow.

When her 18th summer came, Ai couldn't tell you what she had been expecting of it, honestly. Despite all her hard work, all her scholarships and diplomas and good grades, despite the money she'd saved and the plans she'd made. Despite the friends and family she had gained and, most of all, despite all of her growth - Ai suddenly found herself feeling like she did way back then.

Like she was 6 years old all over again.

Her world was suddenly so big and scary and irreversibly about to change before her very eyes and there was no promise she wouldn't be alone again when everything stopped spinning. She hated it.

So, she clung tighter to what she had grown and built. Pulled close everything she cherished, dug her nails in until it bled. She wouldn't expand on her plans when asked, she didn't want to think about them anymore. She just wanted to see tomorrow come and go as it had gone every other day before.

She didn't want to lose everything again.

And so, a Mr. Baxter Alexander Ward was - as he so often would be in her life - the wrench that completely shattered all her plans.

And she loved him.

That first day, that first moment, when he appeared in her life on a quiet sunny street - Ai couldn’t have known what Baxter was going to become to her - but what she did know, as she wrapped him up tight in that warm and welcoming embrace, was that she didn’t want to let him go. That she wanted to hold him close. That he was precious.

That feeling grew with each new day. It was as terrifying as it was exhilarating. He was new, he was change but he wasn’t a bad change. Baxter, like a memory - like a step in a dance she had almost forgotten to take - fit perfectly into a part of herself that she hadn’t thought to still exist. He was her fire, the spark of wildness of her youth that had her take chances and risks that would add gray hairs to her mother’s heads had they only known about it. He looked at her with that smile and all she could ever do was helplessly smile back, only ever take his offered hand at each and every single chance.

They danced and danced and danced until she was dizzy from the spinning and laughing and completely irreversibly in love with him.

And when he faltered, she was there to catch his hand and lead him back.

And they danced.

Into the ocean shallows, into the sprinkle damp grass. After the jingle of summers tune or wrapped up in his clothes, under sparkling night skies. They danced. In early mornings and late evenings, half asleep or a bit tipsy. Stumbling over a creek or on a ship at sea. They danced. Smelling of midnight sweets, dressed up classy or silly or comfy and warm. They danced.

Quietly and closely in the night as they kissed - they danced.

And she loved him.

And it broke her heart.

Song: Lauren Aquilina - Forest Fires

Unbeknownst to Baxter, when he left, he took much much more than just Ai’s 18th summer with him. Much more.

It was as if that fire he had set in her had spread to the very tower in which she lived. All the love and comfort and growth, all the work and hard won progress through every difficult year, all of it went up in a sickening black smoke. All of it burned away like car oil and ash and left her exactly as she had felt on that day when her world had terribly changed.

And Ai broke.

In the following months, the girl everyone had grown to cherish and love became a shell of her former self. The first weeks were the worst - having to watch her waste away with each missed meal and nightmare that kept her awake. Cove slipped through her window nearly every single night, only sleeping in his own bed when she was slipping through his window instead.

Though worried, her friends initially kept their distance on the request of her parents, who worried about her fragile state and wanted to give her time to process and heal. The moment Jude found out about this, he showed up at Ai’s front door and gave everyone a piece of his mind (ultimately, this was the day that the rest of the family found out about the full story behind the car crash). Now, more than ever, was the time they needed to be there for Ai.

The sudden reintroduction of all her dearly loved ones seemed to help things. She started eating, eventually even started to smile again. Found her long lost laugh. The mom’s stopped hearing her nightmares. With each day the world seemed brighter - better - like things might almost be back to okay.

Ai was smiling again.

And so no one expected her attempted suicide.

It was Cove who walked into the kitchen this time. He wasn’t as lucky as Elizabeth - Ai hadn’t missed the artery this time. He had never seen her covered in so much red.

It was little comfort that, while he tried to save her life, Ai's own eyes looked as terrified as his.

But she didn’t die.

No, she survived. She always survived. As little as she wanted to, as little as she believed she deserved to, Ai was still alive.

And she wasn’t alone. That was the part that surprised her most.

Despite the fire - the flames of Baxter’s light that still burned her alive - the world around her tower once again started to grow. Because her mother’s held her as they cried, and her sister wouldn’t let her go. Because Cliff and Cove did exactly the same, because they stayed and would always stay - despite everything they stayed with her. And everywhere she looked, she found another hand and another face that loved her (in Derek and Miranda and Jude and Terri and Lee and more) and the ivy that they planted stubbornly clung to her, and refused to let her go.

Continued to grow.

Ai was never quite the same after Baxter left. She never shone as bright, never laughed in that sweet and tinkling way that they all remembered - but Ai was alive. And maybe she was a bit more quiet now, and maybe she hid behind her hair most of the time, but she was still Ai.

Not perfect. Not as strong as you would expect. Yet still so so endlessly precious to all those who have ever found her. And loved.

[whateverisbeautiful]

🀄️reflecting on richonne

Wordless Richonne Moments That Spoke Volumes (Part II) 

7.01 

Years ago, I wrote a whole post dedicated to the nod Michonne gives Rick during the line-up because it was just such a meaningful wordless moment to me. It still is. I mean the fact that on one of their most horrific traumatizing days, with psychos pointing guns at their head, they still are able to share a short moment and she’s able to offer that comforting potential farewell is just touching. It was a quick subtle exchange that communicated how their love for each other will always find a way to have a moment no matter how dire the circumstances. 

7.07 

I also wrote a post back then focused on those walkie talkies in Sing Me A Song because the emphasis on the walkies just felt like a clear indicator of Rick and Michonne’s connection even during a time of distance. Michonne has her walkie with her while out on her own to find a way to beat the saviors and the scene really highlights the walkie by zooming in on it. I’ve always felt that was to show that she still wants to be connected to Rick even if right now she has to try and fight in her own way. And then that becomes even clearer when they immediately cut to Rick waking up and checking his walkie. It stands out that they focus on him holding that walkie for like 12 seconds. That’s always been about Michonne to me. He wants to hear her on the other end and just feel near her in some way. Despite all the turmoil of this time, I was never worried during 7A that Richonne would be on the rocks, because in every scene they had, and even in wordless moments apart like this one, it was clear they still so eagerly wanted to be in this together.

7.10 

This 7.10 moment right here truly lives in my head rent-free. Michonne taking Rick’s arm took me out when I first saw it years ago and it still gets me beaming to this day. I just love how much care and concern they always show for each other. Like Michonne taking his arm wasn’t just as a member of TF or as a co-leader but as a woman concerned for the safety of her man with these strange garbage folks. I love how the action is gentle but urgent and the way he holds her hand and just softly assures her (which I know wasn’t wordless but whatever, it’s too cute not to mention that part lol) Rick and Michonne’s couple vibes throughout this whole episode were just top tier. Like another wordless look they share when Rick tells Father Gabriel someone taught him enemies can be friends. It was sweet how reflective Rick was being in this ep about where he and Michonne were at in season 3 and how far they’ve come. (And what better way to cap that off than getting her that cat statue to replace her season 3 rainbow cat. 🥰) And can I just say, during that 7.10 scene with Father G, the way Rick looks over at Michonne and the way she smiles back at him in that scene…that’s when I knew that upcoming Richonne-centered 7.12 episode we’d been hearing about was going to be the best kind of lovefest. 

8.14 

Ok so I know they talk in this early 8.14 scene and have such a heartfelt conversation but there is a wordless moment that opens the scene so I’m counting it and truly it’s one of my favorite actions they’ve ever had. It’s when Rick enters the room and sees Michonne emotional as she reads Carl’s letter to her and then he just silently takes her face in his hands and wipes her tears. Y’all I’ll never get over this. 😭 I adore how soft they are with each other and it’s just such a preciously intimate loving exchange.

After losing Carl, both were experiencing immense grief and Rick’s grief took form in a fixation toward destroying Negan and the Saviors which caused him to be a bit distant with Michonne, even despite her trying to reach him and be there for him. So I really appreciate this moment of him wiping her tears because it showed how, even as blinding as his rage and grief toward their situations has been, he still fights to be present with her and tend to her emotions. Her broken heart over Carl means something to him just a much as his own, and he wants to offer her some sort of solace even despite his unbearable pain. No matter what state of mind Rick is in, he’ll always try to prioritize her and his heart and mind always have space and love for Michonne. And this moment made that clear. 

8.15

It became crystal clear that Rick and Michonne’s relationship would truly stand the test of time after seeing them find their way back to each other post-Carl. Like not many would recover from a loss like that so soon after starting a relationship. But even as they wrestled with their grief, their love for each other remained strong. I’ve always really appreciated that in this 8.15 scene where Rick reads Carl’s letter, they chose to have Michonne and Judith included in the background. It’s just such a clear way to illustrate the beautiful family Rick still has. As he reads a letter from a passed loved one it was important to still have that beacon of light and hope with his living loved ones in the frame. And then the look R&M share as Michonne walks with their daughter and Rick gives her a teary loving nod. Such a sweet gorgeous moment. Rick is looking at her like he knows full well that she and their baby is still such motivating reason to keep going. Those girls are everything to Rick. They’re his future, and he knows it.

And then Michonne’s glowing as she beams up at him. 🥹 She’s so proud of him for reading his letter and re-centering on what’s important in life. This scene is after they exchanged those I Love You’s in 8.14 and I love how even when they aren’t verbally saying the L word it is still so clearly communicated in the looks they share like these ones here.

9.06 

How many people can say their ship still kept them fed even after one of the characters departed the show? Like we still got such sweet Richonne moments even after Rick left. I will always appreciate the way Michonne was still so in love with her true love even years after Rick’s departure. And this moment in their room where she takes out his shirt and just cherishes it and then puts it on and hugs herself in it. Like…how am I supposed to recover seeing that? 🥺 I adore that without words it was just so loud and clear that Michonne still felt so connected to Rick. She treasured any and everything that reminded her of him be it his gun, the bullet shell in her hair, a ring, or an action figure. And so it’s the sweetest thing that even his clothes are a way for her to still feel close to him, especially a shirt he wore during some great Richonne moments.

In the miniseries, I’m really looking forward to seeing how Rick kept Michonne’s presence alive within him while he was away cuz I know they’d both be sentimental over anything that makes them think of each other. I mean, we already know he had a phone with her image on it so I’m curious to see how that all comes to be. But in this wordless 9.06 moment I just will always love how it sent the undeniable message that Richonne truly doesn’t die cuz their love is still so alive. 

So see, even brief wordless moments can have my extra self writing hundreds of words about them. Richonne is just that great. #GiftThatKeepsOnGiving. Thanks for reading. 💜

[vickyvicarious]

3 October, part 2

I am already so worn out

oh I love the several individual flicks of paper. The frustration and rage and deliberateness of him moving one page at a time to get to the right spot

"As I must do something or go mad," I. I........

"The teaching, big or little, could not have landed Mina or me anywhere worse than we are to-day." I AM SO SAD

their voices together...

THE WAY HE ASKS WHAT END

oh my god his little sniffle before "to work!"

NO I FORGOT ABOUT THIS we get to hear Renfield yelling agggggh I was not prepared at all and now I'm crying again

"the very first thing we decided was that Mina should be in full confidence; that nothing of any sort—no matter how painful—should be kept from her." I love how you can hear the rage at himself and determination to never ever ever fail her this way again

the fear, the trembled edge as he says "her eyes shone with the devotion of a martyr"

I love the way she says "I shall die." perfect delivery, gets across the 'like a fact' so simply and so well

"I would; if there were no friend who loved me, who would save me such a pain, and so desperate an effort!" She looked at him meaningly as she spoke." she is so good at manipulation. Something about the way she says this is perfectly pointed, so deliberately calm and not requesting but absolutely requesting and framing it as love and friendship and what is deserved

I really love the way he says "you must not die!" each and every time

"you must struggle and strive to live!" this sentence has such a good sound

"She was pleased with the prospect of anything to do" oh Mina

"Until it sets to-night, that monster must retain whatever form he now has. He is confined within the limitations of his earthly envelope. He cannot melt into thin air nor disappear through cracks or chinks or crannies. If he go through a doorway, he must open the door like a mortal." I think this is new vampire lore, that he cannot change shapes or anything during the day. It makes sense but hasn't come up I don't think

"the minutes and seconds so preciously laden with Mina's life and happiness were flying from us" I just love this phrasing

the house in Piccadilly that Jonathan hunted down. so, so, so glad he did

the way Jonathan says "the precious, precious time!"

"Don't - wait - more than need be..." he is trying so hard

van Helsing is so good at knowing how to get away with breaking the law <3

I wonder if this story about the guy who sold the stolen house is based on true events

van Helsing's laugh at the story is so nice

the way Art says "I can be of some use here" he is trying so hard to help. this is the only time he's wrong because his carriages are too fancy richboy for the situation

Jonathan not mentioning Mina's pointy teeth...

van Helsing's "do you forget" is SO king laugh. oh my god

the way Jonathan says "did I forget" lkadjsflkdjsf;kds

"I shall not forget, for it is well that I remember" Mina's hoarse voice...

the way Jonathan sighs when saying Mina was the most cheerful

MINA'S SCREAM AND THE MUSIC HOLY SHIT

"my poor darling" the way he says this

fuck, the way she sobs "Unclean" and "polluted flesh", how her voice cracks on "before the Judgement day"

JONATHAN CUDDLING HER INSTANTLY

"For a few minutes our sorrowful hearts beat together," this line

the way Jonathan says this line so softly: "There was hope in his words, and comfort; and they made for resignation."

~holding hands while pledging to save Mina~

HERE IT IS

"To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks." this line. and the delivery. almost soft at the end, but completely resolute.

van Helsing has at minimum 56 holy wafers left. and that is after his antics at Lucy's tomb. he really just took a giant sack I guess

Jonathan waving to Mina in the window <3 and her waving back <3

Art looking out for Jonathan's future <3 and utilizing his privilege and title

oh I love the frustration as Jonathan snaps "Eight boxes only out of the nine, which we sought!"

god, the description of Jonathan. love the music on "he is like a living flame"

oh I have always been pronouncing it "skolomance" in my head

"He is experimenting, and doing it well;" I love the delivery of this line

"Do we not see how at the first all these so great boxes were moved by others. He knew not then but that must be so. But all the time that so great child-brain of his was growing, and he began to consider whether he might not himself move the box. So he began to help; and then, when he found that this be all-right, he try to move them all alone." I really don't think this is the case. I think he didn't feel the need to move them all by himself at first, not that he didn't think he could

"He has just now, 12:45, come from Carfax hurriedly and hastened towards the South." the USEFULNESS. the PRECISION ABOUT TIMJE

"Now, God be thanked, we shall soon meet!" and "I would sell my soul to do it!" Jonathan is AFLAME

the delivery of the "w- for him" when van Helsing is scared they literally destroyed the boxes is so funny

oh I love the way van Helsing figures out his movements and the music as he does so

THE MUSIC AS DRACULA ARRIVES AND THEY FIGHT

so exciting kill him kill him

the slice!!!

the loot drop!!!!

again the disgust as JAck describes Dracula

I love the window breaking noise so much, not only just for itself but for what it means. Dracula is reduced to ungainly flight. he's snatching money off the floor and jumping out a window, tumbling to the ground. He's still losing money when he gets there!!!! (the ting is so good). Meanwhile Jonathan will skitter after him no problem at all

the way he says "You!" all scoffing but with a little edge to it. This whole speech. He is trying so hard to sound in charge and unbothered and terrifying and he is failing

Jonathan had no problem with the window but sadly a locked door yet again defeats him :(

Mina still finding time (and blood) to blush at descriptions of Jonathan's love for her <3

THE WAY SHE SAYS "Jonathan." so much love I cannot handle it at all

Mina speaking of pity for Dracula now... it's about herself as well of course. She is trying to sound so calm and compassionate but she is also so so so afraid here.

Jonathan's hatred for Dracula <3

"I, too, may need such pity; and that some other like you—and with equal cause for anger—may deny it to me!" Jonathan thinking well that will never happen because I will never let it.

The way she repeats "my husband". The way her voice shakes. I imagine her touching his hair as she talks about it...

The way he says "This, I know." The way he cries as he talks about how much more he loves her. I can't....

"I am not sleepy myself, though I am weary—weary to death." God, the way he says this line is agonizing. And how he gasps into his next breath... gahhhhh the way he starts to fall asleep as he writes

Mina's fear at someone in the hall is SO GOOD. And Quincey's so so so gentle "go back to bed. It's all right..." I love them so much I am crying about it, literally

oh SHIT there's music

OH YOU FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE JACKASS

I literally tensed every single muscle in my body as I hear Dracula start to sing. Oh my GODDDDDD every line is so good and so inFURIATING holy shit the smug bastardddddd

the music is. so CHEERY. fa;lkdfjas;kdjlas god he is so delighted with himself this is. I cannot. ASJKDFLKDDJ DRACULAAAAAAAA

this song is amazing. with every single new line I. I- incredible.

[rillils]

OK BUT STUCKY LIVING TOGETHER WITH THE AVENGERS AND BUCKY LOVES TO WEAR FLOWER CROWNS AND OTHER NICE AND PRETTY STUFF AND AVENGERS THINKING HOW CUTE BUCKY IS AND BEING "DISGUSTED" (not actually tho) ABOUT HOW DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE STEVE AND BUCKY ARE AND BUCKY DENYING THAT HES CUTE AND HIM DOING A CUTE POUTY FACE AND THE OTHER AVENGERS THINKING THATS CUTE AS WELL ALL THE WHILE STEVE IS STANDING THERE JUST WATCHING HIM WITH THE ABSOLUTELY BIGGEST FRICKITJN HEART EYES EVER AND AND YEAH

NONNIE, OH NONNIE MY LOVE, GOD BLESS YOU SO SO MUCH, DARLING 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I don't know if you're the same lovely nonnie from the Thor + jealous Steve ask (if you are, then I thank you not 1000, but 2000 times!! 😘😘😘), but either way I LOVE YOU and thank you for bringing such preciousness to my inbox 💕💕💕 I simply adore this trope, and indeed I think this is one of the million opportunities the mcu wasted - so here, I wrote a silly little thing for you that I hope you will enjoy :3

1.5k words under the cut!

*

The popcorn kernels hit the bottom of the pan with a happy little tinkle, all tin-tiling-a-ling, spilling like summer hail out of the box. Steve barely hears the sound over the sudden burst of laughter coming from the living room, which – and here comes the pleasant surprise – is the baseline soundtrack of all their game nights lately, and he finds himself grinning along with it as he turns the stove on. Who knows, maybe Lucky went hurtling straight into Tony’s house of UNO cards again.

“Aw Barnes, you’re so cute, man,” Clint – of course it’s Clint – slurs through a mouthful of– possibly a pizza pocket. Could be a coupla pigs in a blanket getting shmooshed in there, though.

Bucky’s reply comes through gritted teeth and positively dripping with indignation. “I am not. Cute.”

Oh yes, ooh yes you are, Steve’s brain supplies instantly, and he steals a quick glance (do 37 seconds still qualify as quick?)– a quick glance towards the couch, where Bucky’s currently demonstrating his Eternal Glower of Profound Betrayal. Dark brows pulled tight together, pursed lips just entering the Hardcore Sulking stage, icing sugar caught in his stubble, and the sight alone makes Steve’s heart feel tender and juicy like chicken thighs after six hours in a slow cooker. Could pull him apart with a spoon, he’s so sweet on the guy.

And God but is Bucky cute; cute doesn’t even begin to cover it. In his new fluffy sweater with the kitty prints, the neon-green pj bottoms, and his arms and legs crossed stubbornly in a full-body pout, he’s just about the cutest thing Steve’s lucky, lucky eyes have ever seen.

He’s wearing his second-favorite flower crown, too – a half a wreath of the most delicate fake cherry blossoms that make the steel blue of his irises pop like goddamn fireworks on the fourth of July. The first time little Cassie caught sight of Bucky in that, she dubbed him an Actual Princess, very earnestly adding that he looked, and dare she say it, prettier than Rapunzel, thus producing the loveliest shade of bubblegum pink all over Bucky’s cheeks – a color which Steve has been trying to recreate, with much patience and dedication, with the loving touch of his fingers and the filthiest words he can fit in his mouth, if only to see how far down Bucky’s body he can get it to reach.

In other words, yes – he’s very much on Clint’s side on this one.

“The man’s right, Barton, he’s not cute,” Sam chimes in, his toothgapped grin all but glinting with mischief. “I believe the word you’re looking for is adorable.”

Amen to that, brother, Steve thinks to himself, just barely remembering to cover the pan before the popcorn starts popcornin’ right into his face.

“Fuck off, Wilson,” Bucky replies, helpfully illustrating the anatomy of a middle finger for Sam’s special benefit.

“Excuse me,” Tony pipes up, one UNO Reverse card tucked behind his ear and two more balanced precariously on top of his multi-story card tower, “I would urge all of you people to consider a true evergreen. The all-powerful, the all-encompassing, the one and only: precious.”

A chorus of cooing noises erupts across the room, rippling from body to body all around the coffee table, until Scott’s arm is shooting up, phone a-wiggling in the air.

“Wait wait wait, I’ve got one– JARVIS, if you please?”

There is a beat of silence. Then the AI’s voice echoes through the entire floor, somewhat mortified.

“As per Mr. Lang’s request, I submit for your perusal an animated Graphic Interchange Format, depicting a small child with cartoonish features, who appears to be holding an overlarge stuffed toy in the shape of a unicorn. The script beneath it reads, It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die.”

The GIF in question starts playing on loop on every screen available in the room – including the one that occupies the entire length of a wall – and the little crowd immediately explodes in a symphony of cackles and excited “Yes!”s and “Spot on”s and “Look Barnes, it’s you!”.

“I hate all of you,” Bucky grumbles, seemingly resigned to his fate; but Steve doesn’t miss the amused twinkle in his eye, nor the subtle curl in the corner of his pouty mouth.

Bucky’s gaze finds him, bright and beautiful, and they exchange a long look across the living room’s open space – intimate, somehow, even over the ruckus caused by their merrymaking friends.

And it might be the popcorn beginning to knock into the lid under Steve’s hand, but there’s something here, fizzing in the tips of his fingers, tingling at the base of his neck; something bubbly and sweet filling up his chest, that he just can’t keep a lid on tonight.

When he sees Nat perched on the backrest just behind Bucky, tugging on his half-braided hair and pleasantly threatening, You move your head again and I’ll bite your ears off – and Bucky drawls out a soft little Sorrey for her, but he keeps grinning up at Steve, his eyes like the shimmer of sunlight on clear waters.

When he finds Clint trying to stick fridge magnets to Bucky’s vibranium arm even through his fuzzy sleeve, then dragging Sam into it too like Hey man, check this out, and from there it’s all about how many times they can spell ‘DICK’ on him before Bucky notices and shoves them both off the couch.

Even when Thor interrupts his Mario Kart showdown with Bruce to offer, “Personally, I find it quite a dashing look – although in my experience, fresh flowers improve it tenfold. STEVEN! You must provide your beloved with fresh flowers for his hair every day! It’s tradition!”

And amongst all the snacks laid out before him, the teasing smile on Bucky’s lips is still the only thing Steve wants to taste tonight.

“You hear that, Steven?” Says his beloved.

Steve adores him. Steve would worship the ground his green-socked feet walk on. “Loud and clear, baby.”

Ohh, it’s worth saying it just for the lovely blush it puts on the apples of Bucky’s cheeks, rosey pink and delicious; and maybe, yeah, maybe even for the outburst of catcalls and Get-a-room’s it gets him, the second the word is out of his mouth.

“Aww, he said baby~”

“That’s so cute, you guys–”

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

“No, shut up– if you two lovebirds start making out in front of me again, I will throw up in the guacamole bowl and it won’t be pretty.”

“Nah, don’t you listen to this old sourball here, this is a PDA-friendly zone! If you guys feel like a bit of canoodling, some squeezin’ and a-lovin’–”

“Yo Rogers, that popcorn about ready or you still growin’ it?”

And. And Steve loves it. This– this, right here. It’s pure unadulterated chaos sometimes – all right, most of the time – but he can hardly picture his life without a healthy dose of this anymore.

Four years ago, he was a shell of a man; raw pulp under a too-thin rind, the chill of ice still creeping in his veins, with barely the will to see another day.

 Two years ago, he found something he’d thought he’d lost forever to the sharp embrace of a frost-coated ravine. Hope. And what a powerful fuel that proved to be.

Ten months ago, when Bucky first sought his kisses again, and slipped into his arms as easy as if he’d never ever left them at all, Steve rediscovered the meaning of bliss. He had everything he needed. Everything he’d dreamed of, night after day after night. What more could he have wished for?

Today, an unexpected answer presents itself to him.

“Hey, pass the chips, will you?”

“You think we’ve got any caramel sauce?”

“If you unleash one more of those green shells upon me, then so help me Odin–”

This. He wants this, with no name to put to it, except for the way it makes him feel inside. This thing that fills a room, warm and lovely, like hot chocolate poured in a cup, and feels so much like an embrace. Like coming in from the cold.

He never would have dared to wish for it. Hell, he didn’t even think he could afford to ask for it, but now that it’s here, he finds he’s hungry for it; and it doesn’t feel like greed at all. It just feels– good.

He’s only vaguely aware of Sam walking up to him, handing him an empty bowl to pour the fresh popcorn in. His brown eyes are gentle, knowing – but then, Sam always seems to know something Steve doesn’t.

“Happy’s a good look on you, man,” Sam says, and this smile, ah, this Steve couldn’t hold back if he tried with all his might.

He looks over to the couch, where Bucky’s holding his belly as he laughs, head thrown back and flower crown drooping perilously over his eyes. Steve is smiling so hard, it hurts.

“Thanks, man.”

[obigem]

While Cordelia was practicing her speech, across the street, Matthew was just getting his day started.

It was only just last week his mother gave him the all clear to stay home and attend Oasis Springs High.

And it wasn't long after that she announced it was on the contingency that Cordelia acted as his guide for the first full week.

He tried to balk back at the idea of it, but she insisted and his father demanded it. So reluctantly, if it was the only way to stay, he accepted it.

She was part of the reason he wanted to come back, he just wasn't expecting to be confronted with her so soon.

But if it had to be this way, he had to mentally prepare. It had taken years for him to be ready to do it, but he'd have to lead with an apology.

The one he owed her from 3 years ago that he hadn't been ready in all this time to give her. Not till now.

As soon as he saw her, he'd tell her, and then they could start fresh.

And then maybe���

"Matthew, it's your first day of high school!" Diana cheered.

"Oh, I'm just so thrilled for you!" She could barely contain her smile. "My baby boy finally home, attending his first day of high school. So? What are you wearing? Do you have the outfit laid out?"

"Mother, I've just started brushing my teeth. Dial it back."

"Sweetheart, I know, but you can't blame me for being excited for you. Come on, give your mommy a hint. Is it the cardigan set we got you from Tartosa? You know the one. It comes with the little hat and the ascot and those leather shoes. Oh you look so smart in that one!"

"No."

"No? Please tell me it's not that Givenchy t-shirt. You cannot wear a t-shirt on the first day, Matthew. I forbid it."

"Fine."

"OK. So what are you wearing?"

"Mother, please. Like I have any idea. I don't know yet."

"Yet? Matthew, Cordelia will be here any minute!"

"I'm well aware."

"Then shake a leg! I will not have that girl wait on you when she arrives. I worked really hard to get her to agree to this, and she had every reason to say no given your last encounter with each other. So you will be the nicest you've ever been to her!"

"I mean it, Matthew! We both know you have a tendency of not being able to control your temper. But I won't have it. Not with Cordelia. You treat her preciously. Like a gentleman. You're to be the epitome of a prince to her."

"Alright!" Matthew barked back. "What am I, a brute?"

"No, but I know you. I know you can be your own worst obstacle. It's not just for her, it's for me too. I want you here. You can't mess this up. You have to try. Do it for me, will you?"

Matthew spit into the sink as he concentrated on the reasons—reason why he needed to stay.

After wiping his mouth with the back of his arm, he turned toward his mother.

"Fine. You want me to be princely?" He flashed a toothy smile. "I'll be absolutely princely toward the precious princess."

"Matthew, be serious."

"I am being serious."

"I'll be the most gallant gentlman she's ever met. I am a Landgraab after all. Poor thing will probably have to stop herself from falling for me."

"Oh, Matthew. You're your father's son." Diana rolled her eyes. "Just hurry up now, don't be late!"

"Yes, Mother."