#the most perfectest boy EVER

[yutamayo]

Toge has the prettiest eyes and eyelashes in all of JJK like there is literally no other character with such exponentially pretty eyes and lashes too? As if we weren't being blessed enough with his eyes alone he's just perfect and we all know it

[sleepsmackdown]

Another picture of Max for you!

oh my GOD

LOOK AT HIM

[picklemanhasurges]

other people are sending you their pets so here's bowie

ph my gosh...!!! the single beautiful cerulean orb... the critter all curled up and SMOOTH. oh gosh... oh my lord!!!! the most perfectest boy ever

[ming-sik]

My dear good comrade in the trenches against AoB's nonsense: I'm having Ferdinand thoughts (derogatory, mostly) and stewing. You said you thought Ferdinand's boring, if you would be up for it we could complain to hell and back about him T_T (aka, I remembered someone saying “Lestilaut's bad and he doesn't even have [Ferdinand's] trauma excuse!” as if... trauma... is an excuse for... anything... also did we forget the system was inherently abusive and traumatizing orrrrrrr)

i'm always up to complain about ferdinand. i swear i tried to like aob's golden boy but he just... is bad.

like ok my main problem with him is honestly just that by being the most perfectest bestest coolest guy ever he makes the story so fuuuuuuucking boring. there are so many potential conflicts especially from part 4 onward that just get completely ironed over with "ferdinand took care of it offscreen" or "literally as soon as the problem was introduced ferdinand already had the solution", half of the remaining conflicts are just getting ferdinand to stop being an asshole long enough to easily solve the conflict, and half of the conflicts left over after that are how to stop ferdinand from being so incredibly selfless that he burns himself out solving all the story's problems before they can go anywhere interesting. it'd be one thing if he existed in a story that wasn't trying to be serious or if he was used very sparingly as a hermit whose help was difficult to acquire or came at a high price, but as it is i can't even bring myself to get that invested in new conflicts because aob's world has been mostly converted into a playground for rozemyne and ferdinand to flex their enormous brainpower over because obviously the only thing more interesting than one ridiculously overpowered protagonist whose only flaw is being too self-sacrificing is two of the damn things.

to which the counterargument is obviously "noooooo ferdinand isn't a perfect angel, he's deeply flawed!" and yeah he is, but not in a way the narrative is at all interested in doing anything but glorifying. i love it when characters are deeply flawed unpleasant assholes, but only if 1) that's taken in an interesting direction and 2) the story doesn't lie to my face and pretend everyone loves them. YS's society is systematically and inherently abusive, which means that every noble we meet is dealing with an intense web of motivations and pressures that mean being a "good" person in yurgenschmidt's nobility is basically impossible, but ideally that's a way to set up interesting tragic characters, not a reason i'm supposed to excuse ferdinand(and only ferdinand) from judgment for perpetuating that abuse and call for the execution of anyone who thinks he's an asshole.

and the counterargument to that is "oh it's not the narrative that thinks ferdinand is perfect, it's rozemyne!" but that's objectively wrong. the entire plot point of ferdinand's marriage to detlinde is when the story just spends basically an entire volume repeatedly telling the audience that ferdinand is actually the only reason anything gets done in ehrenfest ever and he's the most wonderfulest person ever and everyone is overcome with grief that their savior is gone. even sylvester's habit of pushing off work seems to exist basically entirely so we can have the literal archduke be hugely reliant on ferdinand for day-to-day work just so he can get a little extra credit.

that's not to say that he and rozemyne aren't massively codependent. they are. and again i understand that ferdinand doesn't intentionally put rozemyne in a position where he's literally the only person she can fully trust and she's both completely reliant on him for guidance and terrified of losing him, he does do that. he claims he wants her to rely on wilfried but outside of trying to train him to be more competent(unsuccessfully) he doesn't actually do anything to achieve that, and he never thinks of the perhaps more sustainable option of trying to get her an actual support network. a lot of the tragedy of her losing her life in the lower city is that originally she had a wide group of people to trust: she had her family for comfort, benno for guidance, and lutz as a peer who also knew the full story of her reincarnation. afterwards, she only has ferdinand, and the paranoia he teaches her prevents her from trying to find anyone else, to the point that she only realizes that elvira knows about her commoner origins when he's leaving! and. again. i get so hard that this is an understandable result of ferdinand's trauma making him extremely insular, it's in character, but it's also really, really something that i want the story to, at some point, actually interrogate, but it doesn't! even when ferdinand is totally for real ripped away during the marriage plotline, he actually isn't because they stay in contact the entire time and then she has an excuse to come rescue him and post-battle he's literally just back on the team and it's like he never left so that ended up having the same emotional impact as if he just moved to the next town over. so he never really "leaves", and rozemyne never has to actually get used to life without ferdinand, which would've been really interesting and a way to actually deliver on the ticking time bomb that is grooming subplots.

which he is! and to be clear, he's a groomer in the general sense, not even specifically the pedophilic sense(although yknow. he is explicitly pro-child marriage), i mean that he grooms her to accept that the way yurgenschmidt's society works is normal and fine. he's not solely responsible for the inherent abuse of feudalism, but he's a product of the system he lives in and a product that's not particularly interested in changing that system, so he views myne primarily as an aberration who needs to be incorporated into yurgenschmidt's nobility and made to understand that things work the way they do because this is the best system. i think people rail against ferdinand being called a groomer for two main reasons-- firstly people think that if you say a character is immoral you're saying that they're a bad person for liking them or finding them interesting, and secondly people not understanding that grooming isn't as simple as mustache-twirling villain evilly and intentionally completely controlling a helpless child. bc yeah rozemyne struggles against ferdinand's attempts to fit her into noble society and at multiple points does the opposite of what he tells her to, but that doesn't disprove my argument! it's actually repeatedly acknowledged(well, joked about) where characters including rozemyne and ferdinand themselves say that ferdinand has made her more and more similar to him. like basically the first thing that happens when he gets her into noble society is him convincing her to start participating in the buying and selling of orphans and speaking of orphans do not get me started on the temple it drives me so insane how her turning it into a company town where they serve as her unpaid labor is presented as her being a saint. that can't totally be blamed on ferdinand but he sure does talk her into accepting that the only way she can interact with lower status people is through the lens of a benevolent master. one of the main facets of their relationship is him making her worse.

which is interesting! conceptually! ferdinand is entirely a product of the cycle of abuse and his reaction to his trauma is to preserve that cycle even as it continues to harm him and everyone around him because it's just the way things are. on that topic, he's completely bought into yurgenschmidt's view of children where 5-year-olds are expected to be capable of fending off psychological warfare and 15-year-olds are expected to be fully mature adults, so he has a vitriolic, burning hatred for wilfried age 6 and later detlinde age 15 despite both of their biggest crimes being not magically overcoming the fact that they're being neglected and abused, because he did, which means it is possible and therefore required. even his favorite oops all negative reinforcement education is irl infamous for being literally the worst possible way to educate children because it doesn't work very well and also traumatizes them, something which rozemyne herself seems to understand when she tries to keep ferdinand from being so harsh on letizia but never ends up interrogating because she can keep up with it. just kind of because? the implication is that she has a big headstart from her being an adult university student in japan but we actually don't see him do much instructing outside of giving his pupils a bunch of stuff to memorize and then getting really mad if they don't do it fast enough, which is... not the most effective strategy, wouldn't help with her memorizing new information, and also requires her to show a level of attentiveness and reading comprehension she never actually shows when she's onscreen doing stuff because when she's onscreen she lacks basic reading comprehension and stops paying attention to literally anything she's not interested in, but all of that's just ignored because the whole reason ferdinand cares about rozemyne is that she's the only one who understands that he's just trying to do the right thing and she's the only one who can keep up with him in this world of idiot sheeple. and i don't like that either i think it's pretty boring.

the specific combination of his plot purpose mainly being to instantly solve problems and his actual character just kind of being an insufferable asshole who won't shut up about how awesome child abuse is means that unfortunately every time the male lead of the series is onscreen i'm booing and throwing tomatoes at the page because he isn't interesting enough to pull off being morally grey or fun enough to pull off being a terrible little freak. and i really do not feel sorry for him because everyone in the story is experience similar levels of abuse but mysteriously the story can recognize that it's bad when literally anyone else treats any character the way ferdinand treats everyone all the time.

the lestilaut comparison is so specifically dumb oh my god. like yeah he has the trauma excuse.... everyone does... if we take dunkelfelger seriously lestilaut was raised in an environment where his worth was entirely placed on how physically strong he is and the only solution to any problem is physical force, so that's the only way he can think of to solve problems. his main character flaws are being kind of a jerk in a way that's very normal for a teenager! like his character introduction is revealed to be him misinterpreting hannelore's desire to hang out with the cute shumils as a need to have them at any cost which combines with the existing prejudices he's been taught(yknow the excuse that works for ferdinand and nobody else) to mean that he executes a stupid plan, and then even the bride-stealing ditter plot which is... not his finest moment, definitely, but is him trying to save rozemyne from what he thinks is severe abuse. which isn't an excuse for his actions, like i said with sylvester you kind of lose the right to appeal to good intentions if your mistakes have a body count, but you could make the exact same criticism of ferdinand. i mean his "i'll get ahrensbach for you" bit is basically just the shumils thing but it's treated as romantic instead of "what the hell are you doing"

tbh in the AU i'm working on i just toss him out the window entirely but if he IS going to stick around he neeeeeeeeds to have his untouchability be dialed way the fuck down. he can't just solve literally every story problem with "and then ferdinand pulled the solution out of his ass" and there need to be things that he is actively bad at which other characters are good at. also other characters NEED to be able to criticize him for things other than being too self-sacrificing or limply saying that even though he's the most skilled wonderful guy ever it's a shame he's such a jerk. instead of having people being worried about how dependent rozemyne is on ferdinand be played for cheap jokes about her being in love with him you could idk have it GO SOMEWHERE because if ferdinand isn't totally perfect then you could have that relationship actually negatively affect her in some sort of way that could perhaps cause a narrative conflict, and there should be sympathetic characters who actively dislike him for reasons other than not being able to keep up with his amazingness. like florencia just thinks he's a massive piece of shit because he tried to get her 6 year old son condemned to the ivory tower, or lutz thinks ferdinand is wrecking the myne he knows and loves in order to fit her into noble society, or charlotte and wilfried just end up hating him after he tries teaching them because he's an abusive jerk. i don't even wanna give him a redemption arc because i don't want rozemyne to need to "fix" him and idk who else it would be outside of maybe sylvester? if i was gonna try and not fundamentally change the structure of aob i genuinely think i would just move detlinde's assassination attempt to basically as soon as he gets settled in ahrensbach and also have it succeed. just fucking kill him! make rozemyne navigate the world without him! it also killing off justus and eckhart could even make it so they're also invading ahrensbach without knowing anything about lanzenave so the silver cloth and instant-death poison can actually matter.

[papa-mcgucket]

"Pleasure to meetcha Stanley" He smiles and shakes the boys hand. He's too happy right now to make the connection between this Stan and his own, and its a common enough name isnt it? "My names Fiddleford Hadron McGucket."

While attempting to ride one of Fiddlefords sheep, Stanley was flung into Fidd with a crash, knocking them both over. Stanley jumped right back up - "uh.... oops?"

Ooc: Sorry, I'm tired and this seems funny so therfore....

- @young-stanley

Fiddleford grunts as he falls back and looks with wide eyes for a moment, startled, then relaxes and chuckles. He stands and brushes himself off. "You alright, kiddo?" he grabs the sheep and keeps it by his side so it doesnt run off, though the critter seems content to stand and graze anyway.

[witchqueenvisenya]

this fandom is truly something. on one hand they're hooting and hollering at hotd's "without our dragons, we're just like everyone else" despite that being not true because they have this tiny little thing called dragon dreams and the ability to command dragons (debate about nettles and sheepstealer aside — she was very much a dragonseed IMO). nobody contests that it is only the first men who can have green dreams and really only starks and immediate direwolf approved family that are safe around said direwolves so it is blatant envy and disdain that makes most of this fandom deny the targaryens their own special markers because of course if non targaryens like sansa command dragons it is much safer for the smallfolk amirite? but it is an undeniable hundred percent high septon approved fact that f!aegon will safely sit the iron throne and be accepted by everyone from the riverlands to dorne, despite really being... just like everyone else and actually worse than other leaders around his age bracket in the story. an untested young man who may be descended from the blackfyres who has little patience when he loses a simple game of cyvasse and has soundly rejected any notion of humility in saying that it is daenerys, an already tried and tested conqueror who must bow to him, supposed rhaegar's son aside... yes. this is the man who will bring stability. i know very well that daenerys saw a vision of people cheering on a cloth dragon, but where exactly? her visions in the hotu are sometimes straightforward, but not exact indicators. and while it is possible he manages to take king's landing (not without bloodshed and more tragedy for the smallfolk, a point never really addressed), i don't see anyone doing obeisance to him in the true sense. many nobles, who have seen considerable upheaval in the previous many years would apply a wait and watch strategy, since he doesn't really have a dragon to go and enforce his rule, and cannot exactly take his golden company (who originally meant to declare for daenerys) and go on tour while leaving the city as is. so... targaryens are just like everyone else but young griff is specialer than non targaryen rulers before him. the stablest perfectest boy king to ever grace westeros... hmm.

[badlydrawnyttd]

badly drawn yttd: day 25

happy birthday to the most specialist perfectest boy who’s done nothing wrong ever

[spoonmoment69420]

zack addy the sweetest most perfectest baby boy. nothing bad will ever happen to zack addy ^_^

[masked-and-doomed]

Also now I realise about me with names. A name for me is like. Not really holding any worth of intimacy. Like my real name? It's whatever. Kat/Kats? Name I took because I like cats and it's an actual name. Yomotsu? That's some guy's name I stole. But like. I wouldn't want anyone to call me by these as a way of intimacy in bed yk? I don't want any name for you to call out in bliss.

Just. Call me yours, or whatever. Pet. Kitten. Whore. I don't have a name of my own, really. And I'm honestly fine with that.

A name is just a way to get my attention. You call me Yomotsu "ThatOneKats" Hirasaka and you'll have my eyes trained on your next string of words, high alert. If you grip me by the shoulders and call my name to express a point, I'll get it.

It's just that a name to me doesn't really feel anything special.

Well, I mean, I like being called Yomotsu the most, but that's because I feel like a cheeky guy. Hahah. You're calling me by my boyfriend's name that I stole from him. Oh what a devious boy I am.

But like? Don't call me that in bed. That's some other man. (Well not, just another man, the perfectest person ever created, who I have been graced upon to have intimate relations with.)

I. Don't really have a name to call myself. My identity is a very. Flowy one. I'm not sure what it is. But honestly? I can't care. I was put on this Earth to love. And if others find something within me to love back, then I'll be glad, and push back with more love poured.

[henrysglock]

How exactly do you think so many people (particularly byler fans I’ve noticed) came to have main character goggles for Will? Not all, but some of them seem to think he’s the protagonist, the only one to have ever suffered/whose suffering outweighs any other characters and the one whom the show must revolve around. It’s kinda weird tbh… like, it’s not the “poor Will” show but idk

ST is not the "poor Will" show, you're absolutely right. Very far from it. Will is a bit of a cunt, and not in the serving way. And so is Mike. And so is Dustin. And so is Henry! So is El! And Max! And Nancy! And Steve! And Jonathan! And everyone has an easy time picking out their flaws. They can call Joyce a bad mother until the cows come home. But bring up that Will isn't always the perfectest sweetest kindest babiest boy? Prepare for the bitching to ensue.

Everyone preaches about an ensemble cast until the ensemble isn't Everyone Else + Will. Alas.

I think—and this is my personal opinion—that often times the most opinionated fans hold those steadfast opinions about Will because they see themselves in him, or at the very least they can project onto him. They see the artsy, sensitive queer kid and go "aha! that's so me!" but then once they link him to themselves, he can only be a victim, he has to be the only one who suffers (or at least the one who suffered the most), and he has to be the main character who is the special-est character and also the hero. Because they want to see themselves as the main character who is the most special and the ultimate hero and also only ever a victim who can do nothing wrong. (And when wrong is done, it's justified by Will's perpetual and unassailable victim status...which, ironically enough, never gets extrapolated to any of the other characters who are victims. They're just evil or mean or annoying, and they should learn how to cope better. It's a brand of self-centered, self-righteous, and self-victimizing myopia which gets projected onto Will, tbqh.)

[sergeifyodorov]

Patrice Bergeron for the character ask

FIRST IMPRESSION

He won the Selke, not this year but the year before, and people were like “yeah this again. Booo get new material,” and i was like. That is a lot of selkes for one man to win

IMPRESSION NOW

that’s st patrice!!!! The most perfectest man who ever lived. I’m salty about it though because he’s a Bruin and i (performatively for the rivalry -- i’d love em if they weren’t The Bruins) hate the Bruins. That’s a lot of selkes for one man to win. Kind of a milf. I will be sad if he retires but at the same time him retiring will mean that the Bruins probably won’t be good anymore, which is nice because, again, hate the Bruins. The Prince of Boston, heir to Zdeno, etc. Pasta will probably be his heir once he finally steps back methinks

FAVOURITE MOMENT

I’m gonna be honest I do not spend a lot of time thinking about this man, I just like him. Probably that time he was outspokenly pro trans tho, super based

Or maybe marchand-crosby-bergeron line

IDEA FOR STORY

Marchand-crosby-bergeron threesome… evil rat and his perfect prince husband and Sidney Crosby who can be sexually bullied into anything so long as you bait him with Love Of The Boys

UNPOPULAR OPINION

i think he’s milfier than sidney… team’s mom ALL the way. Not a whore bone in sight

FAV RELATIONSHIP

Marchy! Obviously. I remember they got split up once this season for like the first time in their entire careers, and lasted all of fifteen minutes before getting put back together. Their numbers add up to 100. Pure romance!

FAV HEADCANON

Strikes me as the sort to wear reading glasses with tiny tiny lenses. And a thin chain like a librarian. Perched at the end of his nose. This makes no sense at all but do you see the vision because to me he is sitting annoyingly well-postured in an ornately upholstered reading chair with his tiny tiny glasses reading some thick and sturdy hardcover, instead of winning his fiftieth Selke or whatever. That is the ideal bergeron status

[happi-tree]

hi happi!!!! for the ask game how about terry jr? :D also i hope you're having a good day!! <33333

I'm having a wonderful day, ty, Lemon Drop!!! Hope you are, too 💛💛💛

Sexuality Headcanon: Bi!!!!! The bisexual community favors him 😌 He is such a bicon in my eyes. And perhaps a dash of asexuality as well (I am very biased - biaced - in this, I'm aware sdbajkbfs)!

Gender Headcanon: Demiboy, imo. He still prefers he/him pronouns and things but sometimes he just feels like,,, not a guy! He isn't super vocal about it or anything, but he'll wear a skirt or dress every now and then.

A ship I have with said character: Aside from the canon relationship (Terry and Veronica my beloveds. Veronica I am so sorry for the information you may or may not learn about your husband 😭😭😭), I really like the idea of Terry and Lark! Lark is trying so hard to make himself worse but Terry is just like. Absolutely the fuck not. And bullies him into finding love and happiness again. Also shoutout to whoever came up with the ship name for them - Gun Control will never fail to be funny to me <333

A BROTP I have with said character: TERRY JR AND GRANT *cries for one million years* They're soooooooo fucking much are you kidding me. They were friends!!! They endured the horrors together!!! They confided in each other!!! Mr. Burch say sike right now. Please I'm too fragile for this ;-;

A NOTP I have with said character: Uhhhhh none, really! (Chronic multishipper as far as the kiddads are concerned)

A random headcanon: Gets Scary the COOLEST mall goth shit whenever she does well on a test or just because. Scary has no fucking idea where he got these band tees and fun chokers and earrings from because they look far too unique to be at any of the mainstream goth stores (and that is because they were originally from Terry Jr.'s own personal teen emo era - he had initially kept them for the sentimental value, but now that his stepdaughter likes this style he figures he can save her some money and give her some stuff she'll actually wear since Veronica tends to miss the mark in the clothes department nowadays).

General Opinion over said character: Most perfectest boy to ever live. Opinion: I fucking miss him I hope he comes back. *Eggman voice* I miss my wife, Lem *sobs into hands*

[crvwly]

hang on it's been so long since i shared all my critters i gotta

everyone knows Bones, my one and only, my prince, my baby, my soulmate, the bestest boy in the whole world

and then we have The Fucking Beast, Troi (my partner's dog, two years old GSD/pit terrier/husky mix, yes that is exactly the nightmare breed mix it sounds like, we were told lab mix and the DNA results showed 0% lab lmfao)

then the cats: my perfectest princess Nyota who has never done anything wrong in her life and hates everyone non-human in the house

then fucking Gravy. fucking. Gravy. i hate this guy. in multiple years working for two shelters, one of which was feline specific, i have never hated a cat more. he is so rude. he is not my pet, he just fucking lives here. he wants to escape but every time i try to let him he gets scared and comes back. he bites me all day long. he yells at me all day long. he masturbates on a blanket 24/7 despite being neutered. he chases my poor perfect princess anytime he sees her. i would sell him but no one would ever buy him. the only one in the world who likes him is Troi and she just spends all day chewing on his head like a squeaky toy. does anyone want this piece of shit. this is the only picture i have of him and i took it to send to my partner to tell them what a shit cat they bought for $60 on craigslist

dont be fooled by the pink nose. dont let him trick you. he's fucking evil. he's EVIL

and the BABY, Wesley Crusher !!! the leetlest guy who i plucked out of a tree a month or two ago and is the most fun cat i have ever met. he loves all people and all our animals and has the cutest little meow and walks on a leash and plays all day long! obsessed with him. he loves the other cats but they dont know how to play with a kitten so he's becoming friends with the dogs and he's rad as fuck

and of course the honorary alien mention: Keenser! she lives in a box and loves roaches and sleeps like this. what a freak 💖

[moss-is-pog]

"I want to study x like a bug" is a very different statement for me than everybody else because my equivalent of studying a bug is sending photo to my mom and going "who is this little lad" and she either goes "the most PERFECTEST of little boys- my favoritetest of guys (Latiny namicus)" or she goes "Latiny namicus aka evil EVIL worst man EVER hate hate hate"

[nolanhollogay]

blorbo bingo + scott mccal!!!

THE MOST PERFECTEST BOY EVER

[wyrmguardsecrets]

oomf another anduin story from christie golden time to be reminded how he is the perfectest boy who has suffered the most of everyone ever and more importantly is very straight (her surrogate son would never love another man)

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