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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 2 days ago

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When You Call Them Clingy| Hyungline Pt2

Hyungline x Gn! Reader

(sorry this took like forever lmao ive been going through it in life unfortunately💀💀💀 )

Bangchan

The hum of the studio was still present, but now it felt different- less like a comforting embrace and more like static electricity prickling your skin.

The once-warm atmosphere had turned cold, muted, and the silence stretched like a chasm between you and Chan.

He didn’t ask if you needed anything anymore. He didn’t look at you at all.

The first hour after your slip-up had been the worst. You’d sat there, staring at the screen of your phone, scrolling aimlessly to avoid looking at him. But your thoughts betrayed you, circling back to the look on his face when you’d called him clingy- the hurt in his eyes, the faint slump of his shoulders, the way his movements slowed, as though your words had drained the energy out of him.

This is almost unbearable... You thought to yourself. I've never been uncomfortable around Chris before, rather the complete opposite...I don't like this.

You had apologized in your head a dozen times already, running over how you could bring it up without making things worse. But every time you glanced his way, you found yourself frozen, the words dying in your throat.

I was harsh...I'm feel horrible...

Chan wasn’t usually one to sulk, but this was different. He didn’t seem angry-he didn’t snap or lash out.

Although you wished he would have. It may have been better than this thick tension.

But instead of yelling or cursing, he buried himself in his work, shutting you out completely. His usual hums and absentminded muttering as he worked were nowhere to be found. The tapping of keys and the occasional adjustment of a dial were the only sounds that filled the room.

It felt unbearable.

After almost two hours of sitting in silence, the tension was too much. You shifted in your chair, swallowing the lump in your throat as you finally spoke up.

“Chan,” you said softly, your voice hesitant.

He didn’t respond immediately. His fingers paused over the keyboard, but he didn’t turn to look at you.

“Yeah?” he said, his tone neutral- too neutral.

You winced. “I didn’t mean to sound so harsh earlier. I-” You rushed out.

“It’s fine,” he cut you off, his voice tight, clipped.

But it wasn’t fine. You could hear it in the way his words came out too quickly, the way he immediately went back to typing as though he hadn’t just brushed you off.

Serves me right...

You tried again. “It’s not fine. I shouldn’t have said that.”

He let out a breath, finally turning his chair to face you. His expression was guarded, a carefully constructed mask of calm, but his eyes gave him away.

“Look,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I get it. I was being overbearing. I just…I thought I was helping. I'll ease up from now on."

The words hit you like a punch to the chest. He wasn’t trying to defend himself- he was agreeing with you, accepting blame where there wasn’t any to take.

And you didn't want him to agree.

“You- you were helping,” you said quickly. “I was just… overwhelmed, and I didn’t think before I spoke. I-I don't want you to ease up...I love you the way you are.”

Chan nodded slowly, but the way his jaw tightened told you he wasn’t convinced.

“Sometimes I overdo it,” he said, a small, self-deprecating smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I don’t know how to…not worry about the people I care about. Or love.”

Your heart sank. He wasn’t just talking about you. He was talking about himself, about how he carried the weight of everyone’s needs on his shoulders, even when it wasn’t his responsibility.

“And I made you feel like you couldn’t breathe,” he added, almost to himself.

“No,” you said quickly, leaning forward. “That’s not what I meant. You’re always so thoughtful, Chan. I just…” You trailed off, struggling to put your feelings into words. "I...uh...damn it..."

He tilted his head, waiting for you to continue, but there was a distance in his gaze now- an invisible barrier you hadn’t seen before.

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re doing something wrong,” you said finally, your voice trembling. “Because you’re not. I was just having a bad day, and I-”

“Don’t worry about it,” he interrupted again, standing abruptly. “It’s getting late. I should wrap this up anyway.”

You blinked, startled by the sudden shift in his tone.

It wasn’t angry, but it was dismissive.

Final.

“Chan-”

“Seriously, it’s fine,” he said, forcing a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “You should get some rest. I’ll finish up here.”

The dismissal stung more than you expected. You stood up, hesitating for a moment, unsure if you should push further or give him space. But the way he had already turned back to his desk made the decision for you.

“Okay,” you said quietly, your voice barely audible.

You grabbed your bag and made your way to the door, glancing back one last time. Chan was hunched over his keyboard, his back to you, the soft glow of the monitor casting shadows across his face.

“Goodnight,” you murmured.

He didn’t respond.

As you headed out he called out.

"Y/N."

You turned towards him, hopeful.

"You don't have to come tomorrow. Ji...sung-ah and...Innie-ah are supposed to be here to work on something with me."

You sighed and bit the inside part of your lip. He was terrible at lying.

Then a small rush of unrighteous anger hit you.

"Thats okay, I had plans anyways." You shot back, leaving. You almost missed the surprised look as he lifted his head from his bag.

The walk home was a blur. The guilt in your chest felt heavier with every step, suffocating you until you could hardly breathe.

But now that guilt stemmed from also saying something to purposefully provoke him.

Why would I even say that? I have no reason to be mad- but he...he has all the reason to be.

You thought about texting him, but what could you say? Nothing you typed out felt like enough. Apologizing once wasn’t going to fix this.

And you were too prideful to admit your pettiness.

It's embarrassing...

When you finally got home, you dropped your bag by the door and sank onto the couch, burying your face in your hands. You replayed all the moments over and over in your head, wishing you could go back and choose different words, wishing you could make him understand how much he meant to you.

But then your anger driven words hit you. You just loved digging yourself deeper graves. So, you pulled out your phone and shot a text.

Deciding that if you were at a standstill with each other, you at least wouldn't lie to him.

——————————————————————————

Minho

The next morning, you woke up feeling a mix of guilt and lingering irritation. Sleep hadn’t come easy, your mind replaying the events from the previous night like a broken record. You had lashed out, hurt him, and now there was this gnawing uncertainty about where things stood.

You debated texting Minho to apologize, but the thought of his cold tone from last night stopped you. The memory of his quick, hollow kiss on your temple was like a dull ache in your chest- a reminder of how much damage had been done.

You sighed as you reached for your phone, jumping when you see a text from Minho.

Minho: Dori didn't even wait for me to finish preparing his breakfast before eating Soonie's. Such a menace.

You stared at the text for a long moment, unsure of what to make of it. It wasn’t unusual for him to send updates about his cats, but this felt like an attempt to return to normalcy without directly addressing what had happened.

Should I respond? Should I apologize? You wanted to, but the thought of putting your emotions into words felt daunting.

Instead, you liked the message, telling yourself you’d figure it out later. But as the day dragged on, and you found yourself unable to focus on anything. By the evening, your phone buzzed, breaking you from your thoughts.

Minho: Did you eat?

The question was simple, almost routine, but it held a strange weight. And you were unsure how to respond.

Was this his way of reaching out, or was he just trying to check a box out of habit?

You hesitated before typing back: You: Yeah. Did you?

His reply came almost immediately: Minho: Mhm. Chan-hyung made japchae. Ate while working. Minho: Also, three cups of pudding.

You couldn't help but let out a little giggle. You could picture him in his studio, his face reflected in a the mirrors, as he sat crisscross on the dance floor, scribbling choreo ideas, spoon in one hand and a cup of pudding beside him. The image tugged at your heartstrings in the way only a lover could do.

You: Busy day? Minho: Always.

You sighed and rested your head on the back of your couch.

Short. Not necessarily clipped, but there were no teasing or playful jabs. No emojis. Just facts. It felt so unlike him, and it hurt more than you wanted to admit.

You could feel the awkwardness as if he was sitting in the room with you.

You: I’m sorry about last night. You typed out a response, then deleted it, then typed it again. Finally, you settled on: You: I miss you.

The three dots signaling his response appeared, then disappeared, then reappeared. You held your breath, waiting.

Minho: Yeah...

You: I'm sorry.

Minho: It's fine.

It wasn’t fine. You knew that. The lack of warmth in his reply was enough to confirm it.

You: It doesn’t feel fine. Minho: Maybe it’s not...

There it was. The crack in the veneer. Your chest tightened as you stared at his words. You wanted to fix it, to make it right, but you didn’t know how.

You: Can we talk? Minho: Not right now. I’m tired.

The conversation ended there. You stared at the screen long after his reply, the words “I’m tired” echoing in your mind. It wasn’t just physical exhaustion he was talking about. He was emotionally drained, and you were the reason.

You: Okay, goodnight. I love you. Minho: Night. I love you too.

Over the next two weeks, things didn't get much better.

You hadn't seen him in person, and only had a few video calls where anytime you tried to bring up an apology, Minho deflected the conversation.

It felt like more of an awkward and intimate friendship interacting rather than a couple. And you needed to change that. You couldn't handle it. You missed your boyfriend.

Minho had always been steady, a constant in your life. You hadn’t realized how much of a lifeline he was until you cut it with a single careless word.

Clingy.

The way his expression had shifted when you said it- it haunted you. Minho, who rarely let his emotions crack the surface, had been hurt. You’d seen it, felt it in the way he pulled back from you. And you wanted to pull him back towards you.

That’s what brought you to his house a few nights later, your chest tight with desperation and dread. You didn’t have a plan, just a need to be near him, to try and fix what you’d broken.

The porch light cast a faint glow as you arrived, the sight of it familiar yet unsettling. You hesitated at the keypad, your fingers trembling as you entered the code. For a moment, you feared he might have changed it, but the lock clicked open with a soft, mechanical hum.

The sound felt louder than it should have in the quiet night, and your heart ached with the thought that you still knew this house so well.

You stepped inside, the warmth of the entryway doing little to ease the chill in your bones.

“Minho?” Dori was the only cat by the door, immediately rushing to you to rub up against your legs. "Min?"

Your voice was soft, tentative, as you slipped off your shoes and into slippers, but it went unanswered.

The faint murmur of voices reached you from the living room. You moved toward the sound, your footsteps hesitant.

And then you saw them.

She was sitting on the couch, her laughter carrying easily in the stillness of the house.

Minho was beside her, close enough that the space between them seemed insignificant. His expression, one that had been so cold and was open-relaxed in a way you hadn’t seen in minute.

Your stomach twisted painfully, the scene before you crashing down like a tidal wave.

You must have made a sound, because Minho’s head turned sharply in your direction. His eyes widened, surprise etched across his face.

“Y/N?”

The girl followed his gaze, her expression a mix of confusion and mild curiosity.

You froze, your pulse hammering in your ears.

“I-” The words caught in your throat, your mind scrambling to come up with an explanation for why you were here, standing uninvited in his doorway.

“Y/N-ah, wait-” He said, scrambling up from the couch, tripping over Dori who had decided to join the party.

But you were already backing away.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you said quickly, your voice cracking as you stumbled toward the door. You knocked into the cats water bowl, soaking your feet. The lump in your throat threatened to choke you, but you forced the words out. “I’ll just- go.”

Minho reached for you, his movements sharp and deliberate. “Don’t-”

You didn’t wait for him to finish, pulling away. The door slammed shut behind you, the cold air biting at your skin as you stepped into the night.

You didn’t realize you were still wearing the house shoes Minho had bought for you months ago until you were halfway down the street, your steps uneven on the pavement. The absurdity of it made your throat tighten, but the tears came before the laughter could.

Your vision blurred as you walked aimlessly, the weight in your chest pressing down until it felt hard to breathe. You could still see her face, hear her laugh. It was seared into your mind.

There is no way he could have moved on in just two weeks...right?

Could he have...no. Never.

But had he?

You didn’t know either way. And you couldn’t bring yourself to stay long enough to find out.

Back at the house, Minho stood frozen by the door. Doongie let out a soft mew, as if speaking.

"I know..." Minho said to the cat.

His jaw clenched as he stared at the space where you’d been, staring at where your shoes were left, your sudden departure leaving a suffocating silence along with them.

“Minho?” the girl called hesitantly, her voice breaking through the tension.

He turned to her, his expression unreadable.

“You should go.” he said finally, his tone flat.

Her brows furrowed in confusion, but she didn’t argue. She gathered her things quickly, giving Doongie a quick scratch, the sound of her footsteps fading as the door closed behind her.

Minho sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he leaned against the wall. His gaze fell to the floor, and for the first time, he noticed the trail of damp footprints leading to the door- proof of your hurried escape.

You hadn’t even waited to hear him out.

He wanted to chase after you, to get an explanation for why you’d come in the first place.

But he didn’t move. Instead, he stood there in the silence, the weight of your absence pressing down on him; and he was stuck wondering how something you caused had now become a snowballed issue he needed to resolve.

——————————————————————————

Changbin

You sat there frozen, the echo of his quiet, defeated tone playing on a loop in your mind. It wasn’t like him to leave like that- without a fight, without reassurance, without trying to smooth things over. He had always been one to want to ease conflict in the calmest manner.

Your eyes drifted to the coffee table where his phone sat, screen dark and mocking in the dim light. He must’ve forgotten it in his rush to leave, and the realization sent a pang of guilt straight to your chest. You couldn’t even call him to try and make things right.

With trembling hands, you picked up his phone, turning it over in your palm. It was a small, insignificant thing, but it felt like the only connection you still had to him.

The weight of Hyunjin’s text was heavier now, replaying in your mind like a cruel taunt.

He had planned to propose tonight.

And you had ruined it.

You pressed the phone to your chest, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat. You couldn’t stop picturing the way his face had fallen, the light in his eyes dimming with every word you’d said. The warmth he carried with him, the energy that filled every room he walked into, was gone. And it made you feel terrible.

Your hands tightened around his phone as you leaned back on the couch, your thoughts spiraling. Changbin wasn’t just a boyfriend- he was your safe space, your biggest cheerleader, the person who always knew how to make you laugh when you wanted to cry.

And tonight, you had been the one to make him feel small.

You let out a shaky breath, blinking back the tears threatening to spill over. There was no way you could let things stay like this.

So, you got to work.

Changbin’s car coasted slowly down the street, the low hum of the engine the only sound in the otherwise quiet night. His mind buzzed, replaying every moment of the evening- your harsh words, the hurt in his chest, and the sudden shift in the air between you two. He could still feel the weight of your gaze, and your frustration.

He had tried so hard.

Maybe it is my fault...

He wanted to make the night perfect, make it something to remember. A sweet cute, relaxed proposal. Soft and warm and everything that represented the love he had for you.

But now he was left uncertain, second-guessing everything. The familiar streets blurred as his thoughts swirled, mixing with the disappointment and confusion still lodged in his heart. His grip tightened around the steering wheel.

As he pulled into his driveway, he killed the engine but didn’t immediately move. He sat there for a while, the headlights casting long shadows across the pavement. It was cold, but he didn’t feel it. Instead, his chest was heavy, a knot of frustration and sorrow gnawing at him.

I need to apologize. Maybe then-

Reaching for his phone, he noticed a slight tremor in his hands.

Is that the best thing to do though...what if Y/N-ie is still mad...

He spent the next couple minutes thinking about texting you- even though he hadn’t done anything inherintantly wrong.

But the thought of sending an apology and admitting to a fault he didn’t deserve seemed like the easiest way to get things back to normal.

He swiped the phone screen on, but his stomach dropped when he saw his empty hand. He reached to pat his pockets.

He didn’t have his phone with him.

He trailed his eyes at the empty seat next to him, hoping maybe it was there, as the realization hit him harder than it should’ve.

His phone was still on the couch at your place. He must’ve left it there in the rush to get away.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath, the frustration and anxiety rising again.

He shifted the car back into gear, pulling out of his driveway and heading back to your apartment. As he drove, he let out a deep sigh, trying to shake off the weight pressing on him.

He didn’t know what to expect when he saw you again. He didn’t even know what he wanted from the rest of this night.

Back at your place, you were busy, but not in the way you had planned. You paced the living room, biting your lip as you nervously looked over the decorations you had hastily thrown together. You had wanted everything to be perfect for him, the way he’d promised it would be tonight, but now… you were the one fixing things.

You were the one putting the final touches on a proposal- his proposal.

Your heart flipped over and over in your chest, as you adjusted things anxiously.

You had to scrounge through a ton of different leftover decorations from previous events and holidays; and it looked like the spirit of every celebratory occasion had thrown up over your living room.

You had tried so hard to get it right, to show him how sorry you were that your nerves and selfishness had ruined everything.

When you heard the distant rumble of his car approaching, your heart skipped a beat. You quickly fixed your hair and wiped your hands on your pants, as if trying to make up for everything all at once.

You hadn’t planned this, hadn’t thought through how you were going to apologize. You just knew you couldn’t let him walk away- couldn’t let him leave the night without fixing at least a small part of it.

The doorbell rang, and you froze, your pulse quickening in your throat.

You opened it, and there he was. Changbin. Standing there with an unreadable expression, his eyes flicking over your face before he looked down at the phone in his hand.

You didn't know if you imagined his red rimmed eyes.

“I-” he started, but the words faltered. He opened his mouth again, as if trying to say something, but nothing came out. "I left my phone."

You handed it to him, and he stood there awkwardly turning it in his hands.

"Bin, come in," you whispered, stepping aside to let him in.

He hesitated for a long moment, his feet still on the other side of the threshold, as if he were debating whether to leave or stay. You could see the tension in his shoulders, the uncertainty in his movements.

But then, with a deep sigh, he stepped inside.

You led him to the living room. His eyes stayed on the floor. He didn’t sit down, didn’t speak, just stood there.

"Y/N, I'm sor-"

"You don’t need to apologize," you said, voice barely audible as you walked toward him. You didn’t know how else to start. "I’m the one who messed up tonight. It wasn't you. It was all me."

Changbin shook his head, though it seemed like he was trying to process what he was feeling. He opened his mouth again, his voice hoarse. "No, it wasn't you. I…I didn’t mean for-"

"Changbin, don't fool yourself." You said with a sarcastic chuckle. "You know it was all my fault-"

"Y/N I was the one who was-"

"-I ruined your proposal. Of course it's my fault." You finished.

Your words stopped him. He closed his eyes for a moment, the weight of everything hanging in the air between you.

"So you knew..." he murmured, his voice cracking just slightly.

"Hyunjin texted. I saw it on your screen."

Changbin sighed and then looked around, seeing the decorations.

"What..."

"Since I ruined your proposal I thought I could fix it. As an apology."

The air between you thickened suddenly.

"I-I know it's not the best or the prettiest, but I thought—"

His voice faltered as he looked up at you, eyes filled with something unreadable. Shock, confusion… and then something softer, something heavier.

"What…what did you do?"

You froze. Your heart pounded.

He was staring at everything—the decorations, the candles, the careful details meant for him to present to you.

"I thought… I'd throw something together," you repeated, your voice small. "To fix your proposal."

"Fix it?"

And in that moment, you realized just how wrong that had sounded.

"N-No! I meant fix the night. Not your proposal—nothing was wrong, I just—I ruined the moment, and—"

You were scrambling, desperate to explain.

"Binnie, I—"

"I understand, Y/N."

His quiet chuckle sent a chill through you. It wasn't warm, wasn't teasing. It was sad.

"You made another opportunity," he said, his voice steady but distant. "You set up a proposal."

"Yes! An opportunity, not-" But then you saw it. The rapid blinking, the slight shift in his expression. The way he swallowed hard, as if forcing down words he wouldn't let himself say.

And suddenly, it clicked.

He wasn't upset about your wording. He wasn't even upset that you'd tried to make things right. He was upset because you'd taken this from him. Because he had wanted to be the one to do this for you.

When you had called him clingy earlier, you had let your stressors guide you to insult what you loved most about him.

How he wanted to do everything for you.

His love language towards you always tended to be acts of service.

And while a proposal wasn't necessarily though, it made sense that he wanted to do this for you. One of the biggest acts of your two lives.

He wanted to gift it to you, and you took it away.

For a long, suffocating moment, neither of you spoke.

Then, without another word, he stepped back. His hands curled into fists, then relaxed. He exhaled, gaze flickering between you and the scene you'd set. And then he turned.

You barely processed it as he walked past you, his presence fading with each step toward the door.

"Binnie, wait-"

But he didn't stop. The door opened, and before you could find the right words, the ones that wouldn't make everything worse—

It clicked shut.

——————————————————————————

Hyunjin

The moment Hyunjin you shut the door, you felt a wave of regret crash over you. You stewed in your regret for a while before you succumbed to it.

You couldn't stand it.

You rushed out the door, hoping to catch up; even if it had already a bit since his departure. But you knew him, and he probably hadn't made it far, taking his long legs for granted and dragging out his journey.

You wanted to stop him, to explain, to make him see what you couldn't say- but your pride had already built a wall too high. The words you had snapped at him stung, but there was a fear settling deep within you, too. Fear of rejection, fear of the misunderstanding spiraling out of control.

Fear of losing him from a quick yet grave mistake.

The street was quiet, and your footsteps echoed in the empty space. You turned the corner, but in your rush, you hadn't paid attention to where you were going.

It seemed you had taken one wrong turn after another, and suddenly the comforting glow of the familiar streetlights was replaced with unfamiliar darkness.

Panic rose in your chest. Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and you fumbled to pull it out, only for it to die before you could see.

You cursed under your breath. Of course, it died. Why wouldn't it? Your mind was foggy, and you could barely focus on anything, let alone figure out where you were. The tightness in your chest felt suffocating, but you pushed through it.

You wandered a little until you found a cute little convenience store, stepping inside, letting the warmth encapsulate you. You decided to grab a snack while you charged your phone, the clerk so graciously allowing you to charge it behind the desk.

You figured while you ate you could figure out what to say to Hyunjin, to mend whatever crack you had caused.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin still felt the sting of your words settled deep in his chest. His jaw clenched as he shoved his hands into his pockets, walking briskly down the street.

It wasn’t fair. He had done nothing wrong, yet you had pushed him away like he was too much. Like his affection- his need to be close to you- was suffocating.

Me? Too much- HAH. As if.

You were just being bratty because you were in a bad mood...right?

I'm not actually too much am I?

And maybe it was dramatic, maybe it was childish, but he wanted you to chase after him. To call out his name, to grab his sleeve, to do something to prove you cared as much as he did.

But the street behind him remained quiet.

His throat tightened. His steps slowed.

You weren’t coming.

Hyunjin scoffed, shaking his head. Fine. If you weren’t going to run after him, then you could suffer.

He would make you grovel, make you look at him with those wide, guilty eyes and apologize.

Beg a little. Then - only then - he’d pull you into his arms, stroke your hair, kiss your forehead, and tell you it was okay.

Because at the end of the day, that’s all he wanted.

To make things okay again.

With a sigh, he turned back around, heading toward your apartment, already playing out how he’d drag this out just enough to make you squirm before giving in.

But when he got to your door, his smirk faltered.

The lights were off, but the door was cracked.

His brows knitted together as he stepped into a completely empty home.

You were supposed to be here. You were supposed to be sitting inside, stewing in guilt, waiting for him to come back so you could apologize properly.

His fingers twitched as he opened your bedroom door. He went to the bathroom and knocked.

No answer.

He knocked, a little harder this time.

Still nothing.

A flicker of unease crept up his spine. He pulled out his phone and called. It rang twice before going straight to voicemail.

Hyunjin swallowed. His throat was dry.

His mind raced through every possibility. Maybe you just went out for air. Maybe you ran to the convenience store. Maybe-

But his gut told him otherwise.

His gut told him something was wrong.

His fingers curled around his phone, knuckles white as he sucked in a sharp breath. His frustration, his plan to make you beg, his need to be dramatic- all of it evaporated, replaced by one single, overwhelming thought.

He needed to find you.

Now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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taglist specific:

@darling-imobsessed @changbinismymuscledaddy @artist2181 @minniesverse @monbrigh @20staaa @aeri-skzver @noannah @skysole @chanssmiles @depressedarlling @

#skz imagines #skz stay #skz x reader #stray kids reactions #stray kids #skz fluff #skz reactions #skz #christopher bang #skz angst #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #skz hyung line #pnutbutternjelyy

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lord-squiggletits · 3 days ago

Text

I'm not completely opposed to making Pharma a weird guy in general pre-Messatine, the main issue I have with it is that a lot of that type of fandom is less "what if he was just a weird little guy" and more seems to be written with the implication that Pharma went crazy because he was just always a little crazy (or a little evil, or a little heartless, etc). Basically, to me it downplays the fact that Pharma underwent massive trauma for two years straight that other characters barely survived for a few hours/days and instead frames Pharma snapping as some sort of... I don't know, genetic/fated downfall because he was just weird, he was always off, is it really any wonder Pharma ended up Like That because I mean there was always something a little weird about him.

It just seems to accidentally imply that Pharma snapping under the pressure of years of torture was some sort of moral failing or sign of him being weak/immoral. You know, Pharma was always kind of a little creepy/insane/evil deep down which is obviously why he killed people. If he were just a normal, not-weird, good person then he would've been mentally strong enough to Not Go Insane. Like uhhhh it just seems kind of fucked up to imply that the reason some people are unable to cope with long-term trauma and have violent/unhealthy coping behaviors is because there's just something innately wrong with them, and then try and look back on their whole life trying to contextualize how they were actually unstable and evil all along instead of just accepting that like. Normal people (tm), yes normal and good people, can be put in situations where they're slowly turned into broken monsters because they had no escape and no good choices.

And also it's equally fucked up to imply that like. Whether or not you can deal with psychological torture without snapping is some sort of function of how innately moral or mentally strong you are. Incredibly victim-blamey to basically go "well the reason Pharma went insane is because he was just always cracked in the head, unlike our good buddy-pal-friend-hero Ratchet who's the perfect doctor and a good Autobot who's never done anything wrong which is why when he's an asshole/hurts people he's not nearly as destructive or Weird About It."

It's not that "Pharma was always kind of crazy" can't be done, because anything can be written well with enough thought. But I think in terms of writing, it's a very difficult and nuanced line to balance and most people literally just can't do it without implying that trauma victims/mentally ill people are evil or something. And Pharma is already unfairly villainized enough as-is, and in canon his trauma was already downplayed in favor of "haha crazy doctor chainsaw go brrr look how weird and quirky and craaaazyyy he is." So it's one of those things where 1. Most people just aren't good enough to write it and 2. "Always a little crazy" Pharma is already oversaturated enough in the fandom anyways and it's enough of a battle to get people to recognize that he's a tragic character and not just an evil asshole.

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #i think this one is especially rambly sorry but it's been on my mind #but like. i just think about it a lot about how like #how well ppl cope with stress/difficulty/trauma without disturbing others or falling apart is often conflated with strength if not goodness #like. it's already a thing mentally ill ppl have to deal with all the time whether it's jsut depression/anxiety #and getting told to suck it up or get tougher or stop inconveniencing others #to ppl with the 'scary'/villainized disorders like idk bipolar or borderline #who are literally seen as inherently dangerous just for existing #so when ppl engage with the idea of 'pharma was always a little Off' it just feels like they're taking his trauma reaction #and going 'oh clearly a Normal Guy and Good Autobot wouldnt do this. he had to have already had something wrong with him'#and so pharma understandably going insane after 2 years spent being blackmailed by the DJD (famous for psychological and physical torture)#is taken from a tragic horror story with tons of factual evidence as to why pharma was trapped and couldn't get out #to basically just 'lmao pharma was always a little kuh razy also he's a psycho ex stalker who's a loser in love with ratchet'#so like what the fuck man you're saying that the reason pharma broke under more psychological pressure than any other victim of the DJD #is bc he was just. what. too weak? his mind was too fragile? he just didn't have strong enough morals?#like god do we really need to be spreading the idea that anyone who snaps due to trauma is just innately weak/evil/weird/creepy #bc i have news for you friends no amount of integrity or innate goodness stops you from breaking when you hit your limit #the no. of ppl who can get through a situtation as horrible as that while doing nothing morally wrong and coming out perfectly sane is 0 #if your standard for morality is 'not snapping under horrific pressure' then most ppl don't pass that standard like #i'm sorry but pharma not being able to cope with someone NO ONE ELSE IN THE SERIES WAS ABLE TO COPE WITH #does not retroactively make him evil bc he then proceeded to make horrible decisions in a situation where he was psychologically compromise #stop trying to retroactively characterize (contradictory to canon might i add) pharma as always being Not Good as an explanation #newsflash buddy lots of good people collapse under pressure and lash out and it's not a sign of their innate evil if the way they collapse #is messy and scary and Unfun and inconvenient and they're the only one who snapped unlike their Actually Good People friends

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prettylilyanime · 2 days ago

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Our Blessing ♡ Prologue

♡ Pairing: Toji Zenin x reader

�� Synopsis: in which your ex boyfriend left you with your biggest blessing in life, or- a bundle of a blessing. And he doesn’t even know it.

♡ tags/warnings: 18+, (explicit content in later chapters) angst, and drama, exes to lovers, hidden baby trope, Toji is an asshole (but we love him), Reader just wants to raise Megumi in peace, CEO Toji, possessive Toji, emotionally constipated Toji, Tension, misunderstandings, Flashbacks to past relationship, Heavy themes of abandonment, trust issues, and redemption, baby Megumi is a cutie, Megumi is a mama’s boy, reader works at a flower shop, Hidden Baby Trope

♡ Masterlist ♡ Next

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"Shit!"

The curse slips out before you can stop it as you stumble against the narrow, overstuffed hallway leading to the backroom of your little shop.

The bulky cardboard box in your arms wobbles precariously, the scent of freshly delivered daffodils wafting up as you struggle to keep your balance. For a moment, you fear disaster—flowers crushed, stems snapped, your pride bruised—but you manage to steady yourself just in time.

"Mama, that’s a bad word."

The reprimand is calm, almost casual, but the unimpressed side-eye that follows is devastating.

Seated by the shop’s wide front window, Megumi barely spares you a glance, his small frame bathed in the golden morning light. The sun catches in his dark lashes, making his ever-serious little face all the more heartbreakingly adorable.

You groan, already rubbing a hand down your face. "Damn—Yes, Megumi, I’m sorry." You cut yourself off before another curse can slip out, exhaling as you set the box down with a dull thud. Any more near-disasters like that, and you might actually break a hip.

Some mornings, you wake up feeling twice your age, your body aching from years of hauling flower crates, bending over counters, and chasing after an endlessly curious toddler. The weariness settles into your bones, a quiet reminder of just how much you juggle between running a business and raising a child on your own.

But then you glance at Megumi.

He sits by the shop window, his small fingers tracing absentminded patterns against the glass, bathed in the golden morning light. The soft glow highlights the curve of his cheeks, the thoughtful furrow of his brows as he watches the world outside. Your exhaustion melts just a little. You’d do it all over again—every sleepless night, every aching muscle—without hesitation.

Outside, the city hums with life. A gentle breeze rustles through the trees lining the sidewalk, carrying the scent of fresh flowers and warm pavement.

People stroll past, their neutral expressions softening into fond smiles when they catch sight of Megumi. A few wave through the window, but true to his nature, he merely blinks at them—stoic as ever—before returning to his quiet observations.

"Say, Megumi, what do you want for lunch today, hm?"

He pauses, tilting his head slightly in thought. His emerald-green eyes flick up to meet yours, considering, before he declares with certainty: "Dino nuggets."

You blink. "Dino nuggets? Again? But we just had them yesterday."

"Yeah," he says simply, as if that should be enough to end the discussion.

"Megumi, we can’t eat chicken nuggets every day. That’s not a balanced diet."

He frowns, tiny arms crossing. "I balanced it with fries."

You press your lips together, fighting back a snort. "That’s not how it works, honey. If you eat too many, a stomach bug might get you before bedtime."

He huffs, brows knitting together in frustration. "But dino nuggets make me feel good. And stomach bugs aren’t real."

That does it—you actually snort this time, biting down a laugh. Megumi’s sharp little side-eye nearly makes you lose it again.

"Okay, okay. How about this? We get pizza next door instead." You know it’s not the healthiest swap, but hey, at least it’s better than microwaved dino nuggets… right?

Megumi doesn’t look convinced at first, his small fingers still resting on the window as if debating whether or not this betrayal is worth arguing over. Then, his gaze flickers to you, studying your expression.

"Hmm." He makes a show of thinking before relenting with a dramatic sigh. "Okay… but I want ice cream too."

You shake your head with a chuckle.

With Megumi’s small hand tucked in yours, you push open the door to your store, the little bell above jingling softly as you step outside.

The late morning air greets you with a mix of warm sunshine and the faint scent of blooming flowers from your storefront display. The city hums around you—distant chatter, the occasional honk of a car horn, the rhythmic click of hurried footsteps on pavement.

Megumi stays close to your side as you walk the short distance next door, his tiny fingers gripping yours like second nature.

The pizzeria is a familiar comfort—Tano’s Pizza, a cozy little hole-in-the-wall with a chalkboard menu propped just outside.

The scent of fresh dough, bubbling cheese, and roasted garlic drifts through the slightly propped-open door, instantly making Megumi's stomach grumble.

You push inside, stepping onto worn wooden floors that creak softly underfoot. The walls are lined with framed newspaper clippings and faded photographs—snapshots of the restaurant through the decades.

At the front, a glass display case showcases bubbling slices fresh from the oven, the cheese still glistening under the heat lamps. Behind the counter stands a young employee, dressed in a slightly oversized apron and adjusting his cap as he notices the two of you walk in.

"Ah, it’s Megumi-kun!" the worker says, his voice light with familiarity. "Back again, huh? You’ve got good taste."

Megumi, naturally, doesn’t respond. He merely stares up at the man, then tilts his head ever so slightly.

The employee chuckles, undeterred. "Still not much of a talker, huh? No worries—let’s see if today’s pizza can win a word out of you."

You smile, ruffling Megumi’s hair. "He’s getting there. Slowly. Anyway, we’ll take two slices—one cheese, one pepperoni."

"And ice cream," Megumi adds, very seriously.

You sigh, shaking your head. "We’ll talk about that later."

The employee grins, already sliding two hot slices onto plates. You guide Megumi toward a corner booth by the window, the worn red leather seats creaking as you both settle in.

He swings his little legs beneath the table, fingers drumming idly against the surface as he watches the worker prepare the slices.

"Mama," he says after a moment, his voice quieter now, thoughtful.

"Hm?" You glance at him, mid-reach for a napkin.

"Pizza is better than dino nuggets."

You pause, blinking. Then, you huff a quiet laugh. "Oh? So all that fuss before was for nothing?"

Some days are exhausting. Some days, you wonder how you manage it all—balancing work, life, and motherhood like you’re walking a tightrope with no safety net.

But moments like this?

They make it all worth it.

The daytime sun streams through the wide windows, casting a soft glow over the checkered tile floor.

You take a sip of your drink, letting yourself relax, just for a moment.

Then the doorbell jingles.

It’s an unremarkable sound, the same chime that’s rung a dozen times since you sat down, but this time, when you naturally glance up, the air in your lungs turns to stone.

Two tall figures stroll in like they own the place. Crisp suits, easy smiles, and voices that haven’t changed a bit.

“God, Suguru, I’m starving,” the white-haired one groans, a hand resting lazily on his stomach as they walk toward the counter.

Satoru and Suguru.

Two ghosts from your past, standing just a few feet away, like time hadn’t torn a canyon between you.

It’s been five years. Five years since they dropped you as easily as an old habit. Five years since they picked a side that was never yours to begin with.

They were always Toji’s friends first, you knew that, but still—being discarded so effortlessly after your breakup stung in a way you’d never admit out loud.

Megumi notices the shift immediately.

“Mama? What’s wrong?” His voice is quiet, but his brows pinch, his little body instinctively leaning against yours. Then, as if sensing something deeper, he scoots closer, resting his head against your side. His small hand clutches your shirt.

You want to curse the gods for making Megumi such an incredibly perceptive child, but at the same time, you want to thank them for giving you the sweetest boy imaginable.

No, really—you could start crying at the way his tiny fingers grip your shirt, like he already knows you need the comfort more than he does.

You clear your throat, ducking your head as if looking away will make them disappear. “Nothing, honey,” you murmur, smoothing a hand over his hair. “Just thought I recognized someone.”

A white lie. A harmless one. But your pulse won’t settle, and your fingers curl against the tabletop.

Because you don’t just recognize them. You know them.

You remember the unanswered calls, the ignored texts—the way they never once gave you a way to reach Toji when you needed him most. They didn’t know you were pregnant, sure. But even now, after all these years, the resentment bubbles up like something toxic in your chest.

And worst of all? If they see Megumi, they’ll know.

It wouldn’t take a genius to put the pieces together.

The kid is practically a carbon copy of his father—God, if you hadn’t been in the delivery room, you might’ve thought Toji had just spawned him into existence himself.

Your anxiety spikes as your mind races ahead, spiraling through every worst-case scenario.

Those striking emerald eyes you love so much? They’re just a smaller, rounder version of the ones you used to get lost in years ago.

And their smiles—though rare—mirror each other’s perfectly, down to the sharp curve of their lips.Maybe, just maybe, Megumi inherited your nose.

It’s a weak thought, flimsy and desperate. Because deep down, you know that in a few years, as he grows, his resemblance to Toji will only become more undeniable.

You swallow hard and exhale through your nose, forcing yourself to stay calm.

You just have to get through this meal. Get Megumi home. And pray that today isn’t the day the past comes knocking.

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To be continued, after the completion of Blooming Hearts !

#toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji x you #toji fushigro x reader #jujustu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk fic #toji zenin #reader insert #toji x self insert #toji fanfic #toji x female reader #toji fluff #fluff #angst #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #hidden baby trope

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scribe-of-hael · 12 hours ago

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It hurts even more when they take what was supposed to be a clear message to children, "It is ok to be upset about the bad things people do to you. And it's ok to TALK about it. It's important to LISTEN "

Starscream is shocked Hastag believes him because the other kids HAVE a bias based on what they are told. I'd 100% believe the writing was going to be set up to break away from the more experienced viewer/fans.

"You know Starscream as this, but we are going to try and tackle a different side of him and address these issues from the past"

He does everything to show, that this "selfish bad backstabby" Starscream both the kids and we the viewers have come to know, isn't really as it seem in this world.

and leaving it off the episode of not only Starscream telling Megatron off as calmly and honestly maturly ( the most i have EVER seen a Starscream talk about his feelings ) but tells the person he KNOWS went through somthing bad, like him.

To , "Take care of yourself"

Which the most heartfelt line i have EVER heard come from any Starscream. In s1 he MEANT those words. He was HAPPY, he looked ready to move on. He even CAME BACK to help!!!

He was learning. What I hoped for was addressing Starscream's own flaws. He lashes out. He gets defensive.

Helping the cons work through their issues , with this child perspective for their younger audience would have been so sweet and nice.

He might have been tge "MIGHTY STARSCREAM " once, but he's maturing , he is tired, he wants to be better. Its just hard for him to figure out HOW. And working with the kids

WHICH THEY IMPLIED THEY ALL WORKED TOGETEHR AFTER S1 BUT NEVER FUCKING SHOWED IT.

I would have taken an entire season of the Cons helping the autobots find shards over whatever the FUCK s2 was.

So you imply he helped after s1, but just MAGICALLY decided to be evil. FOR NO REASON other than

"Eh its what he does"

I wanna fight WHOEVER thought a tiny bit of exposition would make up for this shit. And to WHOEVER took this meaningful words he said to hashtag and made it seem like he was being manipulative.

Because he had ZERO to gain from the kids or manipulating Hashtag.

God forbid we have any good writing for a TF show that isn't instantly canned or tuned into shit I am SO TIRED

I think what sucks most about Earthspark is the potential of hitting topics that honestly I feel kids now adays should be able to learn about.

Like what happened with hastag and Starscream's history. Somtimes bad ppl hurt us, it hurts when we aren't believed. It hurts us when we are haunted by them. It is ok to talk about them and even not feel safe around the person that might have hurt us.

Starscream is bewildered that a child of all beings BELIEVES him and wnates to hear him out. He is clearly conflicted and he know she other kids have a bias because of the comics they read and what they know.

Despite being told who he was, he deliberately saved Hashtag when he was the one MOST at risk. The dwellers wasn't going to hurt her, it was gonna eat him. But he risked his life anyway. In that moment, he proved he is not as selfish as they come like Thrash said.

Starscream instead of fighting or even willingly going with Megatron said "no. You hurt me. I do not feel safe with you around me" and fucked off. No fight, no snark. Even wishing Hashtag well.

I legit wanna throw hands with whoever decided to take this moment , and THROW IT IN TRASH. By making it seem it was all a trick, and he never meant it hurts so fucking much.

And yes, I do understand that sometimes people who have been abused become abusers themselves. It happens! But you have NO fucking set up from a writers perspective to pull this shit. And doing it exposition of -

"Starscream does what he always does"

Is the laziest cop out writing i have seen since supernatural s12 is is fucking awful. There is no other word for it. It is striaght up awful writing.

It would have been better if you SHOWED how and why Starscream ends up this way but you DON'T. There for its not earned or even fucking explained other than. Its shoehorned in.

"It's what a Starscream would" STOP. Stop , just stop trying to constantly make the same character in every universe. Or at the very least explain WHY or fucking how!

One reason why I dread watching Armada is knowing that in Energon and Cybertron they just completely reset his character. This WHOLE ARC OF GROWTH, back to what a "classic" Starscream would be.

I do not know why Starscream is unable to be given a better arc than any other character or villain. Esspcially when Megatron is allowed to be better in ES just because and Starscream isn't.

There was so much set up for good lessons and story telling. They just completely trashed it for something less than digestible.

#transformers earthspark #earthspark #starscream #earthspark starscream #Spoilers #Also I heard it just gets worse in s3 #I dont even wanna watch it #It physically hurts me #S1 wanst the best #But by God it wasn't s2

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busket · 1 day ago

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putting this post underwater not because I disagree with it but because I wanted to talk about my own comic and it felt self centered to go off in a reblog, and I couldn't fit it all into the tags lol

my comic Unicorn Hunted is about haelan being hunted and persecuted for being transgender. that's what it's about. BUT it's under the allegory of him being under a unicorn curse. he exists between two worlds, half man half unicorn, but he insists he is still human, he's still a man. some characters hate him because he's a man who killed a unicorn, (sorry but Gwendolyn is meant to represent a radfem) and some characters just fully see him as a unicorn and want to use him (misgendering and/or fetishizing). some characters are so intensely jealous of him that they lash out in violence. these are things I've experienced as a trans man. but I didn't want to make a fantasy story about a man experiencing run of the mill transphobia because I love magic and fantasy

I feel like for people to understand the hurt and the absurdity of transphobia, you might need to reframe it sometimes. readers might read about Gwen being enamored and worshipping of women to the point of violence against haelan and think "hell yeah girl power" but if i reframe it as her worshipping unicorns to the point of violence against haelan, readers instead correctly thought "oh my god, she's fucking crazy!"

I can more accurately portray how dysphoria feels to cis people when haelan is not dysphoric about his chest, his hips, but instead he has to worry about hiding a horn, a tail, long animal ears. these things make him stand out, they go against his very identity as a human, and he never knows who's able to see them and recognize what they mean.

and also I don't think fantasy stories need to have the same real world bigotries, because they're so arbitrary. there's no reason why a society needs to be transphobic, because it's all made up. I think transphobia does exist in unicorn hunted but to a lesser extent. haelan and sybil do hide the fact that they're both trans but its more because they just want to be recognized for who they are, not because they fear backlash. and transphobia is so easy to mark a villain. you make any character say "ugh, you're really a woman?!" and you instantly know that character is a jackass

ok thanks for listening to me yap about my comic hehe

#unicorn hunted

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somewillwin · 2 days ago

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Hey, how are you doing? I’m wondering what do you have in mind for Vi during the period of the divorce era and their attempt at only friendship afterwards, can you share with us a bit more about that? I wonder what might be going on with her and if Cait can feel anything about Vi that gives her pause or confuses her about all this besides the tattoos. And will the tattoos be the same since she got all of them in stillwater in the main universe? I’m really curious about it bc rn it feels like she is "forced" (for lack of a better word) to feel uncomfortable sensations that make her miserable/heartbroken/sad/angry 80% of her time lmao I was just reading another ask you received and I think it’s fair for Cait to feel disheartened that Vi can't see her true intentions and beliefs when it comes to her decision to become an enforcer, esp since this is on 2x07 au universe and to her Vi has contact with ppl like Grayson in the AU and we know what Grayson, an enforcer and sheriff, means to Cait as a mentor but it’s also completely fair for Vi to feel strongly averse to this given the way she had to deal with loss and violence from a very young age because of enforcers and how this affected and traumatized her and also her family, especially her sister, and we know how Vi works when it comes to that Imo it’s pretty justifiable that Vi would have a hard time understanding why her soulmate would want to be part of this group when she know what happened to her and how much that still affects her even if Vander/Cassandra/Grayson are making progress regarding that and in the au things are not nearly as dire as it is in the main canon at this point (also hextech and shimmer doesn't exist and that changes a lot of things too) I feel it’s much more complicated them just x made more sacrifices than y so they deserve more or they deserve less because of it. Plus these two are teenagers or young adults in love who still don't really know how to navigate their emotions properly in a divided world. And it's a world where Vi has more to lose in a broader aspect. I think Cait motivations to become an enforcer are, among others, exactly to bridge this gap in an everlasting manner. Imo she sees it as a way to change things permanently. "What (who) are you shooting for, young Kiramman?". If we agree or not, or if we'd do the same or not, it's up to us individually but from what I understand what we're talking about here is not that but what Cait and Vi think given their circumstances at this point of the story Also I'm really curious to see the parents but most of all the siblings (of both sides) reaction to the mess these two are creating with their miscommunication even tho they are soulmates lol but I bet their bond will be even stronger by the end when they are more mature and have a better understand of themselves and of each other. Apologies for the really long text!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

Well vi is gonna be mostly fighting with herself here, and lashing out and getting her tattoos. I don’t plan for her to start drinking cause she’s baby still and I want her to be happy. She’s just conflicted and needs to figure out what does she wants.

Maybe I’ll get her to date Gert during the friendship era after the divorce… she just wants to know how it feels with other people, if maybe she can be happy or love someone else like that. (Both of them have Grayson and Cassandra as example that you can be soulmates and not being together, but also remain on each others lives, not like Vander and Silco)

It obvs doesn’t work cause they are in love so they can’t force themselves to love someone else, specially when they are still meetin regularly during their friendship era….

Oh also… shimmer does exists in this AU. The barons and shimmer are still a big point of conflict in this AU. The barons like to give Vander problems and try to mess up this “peace” that Vander and Cassandra have been able to build fighting the council, and anything could tip the council into a direction that would put everything at risk like it was before.

(Vander is not on the council btw, he is just considered as the leader of Zaun by them)

The thing about cait as a character and that I didn’t want to change in this AU. Is her sense of justice… how important it is to her. She wants to protect people and she feels like the enforcers are the best answer for that, BUT she has seen vi and her family and also has felt some of the abuse they are capable of, she is not ignorant to it. She know that joining them climbing in rank AND also because she is a kiramman…. She can change the enforcers, she does have the power to change them and what they stand for. To actually protect people from both Zaun and piltover, not just to protect the interests of the council.

She believes she can do that and she’s gonna work til she does it. She wanted vi to understand that’s why she was joining them and not because she thinks like them… but ofc vi trauma about the enforcers it’s A LOT… so she’s not able to understand that at this moment.

About the parents??? Lmaooo they are going through it.

Yes, both Vander and Cassandra advised them to take things slow after they met at the hospital. Warned them about the soulmate thing not always working out. THEY DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO TAKE IT AT A GLACIAL PACE THO.

Cassandra didn’t like AT ALL that cait joined the enforcers, she was even more pissed when cait came home with Maddie and introduced her as her girlfriend. Cassandra loves vi, she has seen how happy she makes caitlyn and like EVERYONE ELSE can see how much they love eachother. She can see how miserable cait is without vi and how she is forcing smiles and just… forcing feeling for Maddie.

Vander can see how miserable vi is and she can see going into an auto destructive state and that she is also hurting her soulmate with it. So she’s constantly giving her talks about the consequences of hurting your soulmate and yourself and that she could end up just breaking them beyond repair if she continues down that path. Vander has worked with Grayson for yeaaars so he has seen the good and the bad of the enforcers and keeps helping vi with this but is letting her keep her own path and trusting her to pick with her heart instead of her head. She has a good heart after all.

Th kids are just talking about their divorce and just… they are so done with both these idiots.

#soulmates AU #damn this is so long #I don’t even know if I answered your ask #shhshshshs #or if this makes sense

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gatorbites-imagines · 2 days ago

Note

Are you taking request? If so idk if you know anything about Booster Gold but I'll give you half a sandwich to write him getting railed.

Michael Jon Carter x male reader

ficlet

I love booster gold, hes one of my favourite DC characters and I wanna keep him in my pocket. I have my own headcanons that I sprint with, and I want to crack him like a glowstick, so enjoy my headcanons for future gender and gender presentation. bread.

I really wanted to write about his butt, but somehow I didn’t. sigh, maybe another day then. no outright railing, but enjoy anyways.

I could really eat a sandwich, but make sure its dark ryebread, I don’t eat white

“Really babe? This is what you’re into?” Michael questioned as he pulled the sheer fabric up his ankles, strong calves, up his strong sculpted knees where he had to give a small jump to slide it up all the way. The skirt was short, nowhere near the type of thing you would be allowed to wear in public. It felt more like useless ruffles added on for dramatic effect.

The soft blue fabric of the panties he wore left little to the imagination. Being from the future where most people had been perfected also meant Michael was perfect down there, which resulted in the panties being filled to the brim.

The lingerie didn’t make much sense to Michael, well, some of it did. But the lip-gloss and makeup made it all a little more confusing. The past was strange, gendering literally everything to the point where it was a kink to see fit muscular men like him being feminine. But hey, Michael liked it when you spat in his mouth and treated him like dirt, so who was he to judge.

At least Michael knew how to do his makeup, even if he had to look up some tutorials for it to fit the current year’s standards. Some blush here, some contour and highlighter there, a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. As dumb as people thought he was, Michael knew how to do his research, even if he had Skeets help him look it up.

Michael could almost hear your shaky breathing through the bathroom door, where he was standing, adjusting the cups of the bralette attached to the lingerie. It did stroke his ego so much. Michael knew he was hot by the year’s standards, even if he was just average in his time. It still made blood rush south knowing he was so yearned after, even with all the embarrassing things he did trying to be a hero.

Being told he was charming and endearing was new, which was how you had caught Michael’s attention the first time. He was used to being called hot, but endearing? After he had just crashed right into you because of something dumb he did? Oh, did his heart start racing. One thing led to another, and now here he was, reapplying his lip-gloss one last time to make sure his lips really popped.

Dressing feminine by the pasts standards didn’t do much to Michael, since clothes weren’t gendered the same way in his time. There were still gendered things obviously, but it wasn’t as extreme as the past. It did still make him feel pretty and vulnerable, so there was that.

“You ready babe?” he cooed, stepping into the heels that had been specially ordered to fit him, since they apparently didn’t make heels in his size in the past. Michael swore he could hear you gulp through the door, before you panted out a breathless “God, yes”.

The bathroom door opened with a creak, Michael grinning like the minx he was as he sauntered you like a cat. You were dressed up in a button-up, tie and slacks, it was part of the fantasy. Something about a husband working long hours and his wife greeting him when he came back home. It was an ancient scenario, something Michael only knew from old movies and novels they had to read in school.

Seeing your pupils blow wide as your hands trembled made Michael suppress a needy noise of his own. “There he is, my hardworking husband” he purred, lashes drooping and making him as alluring as a succubus.

Michael still didn’t really get it as he crawled into your lap, how the whole gender dynamic thing could be so exciting for you, but it was fun to pretty himself up and be borderline worshipped. He didn’t even mind being called a girl or wife, it wasn’t like Michael preferred one pronoun over the other, and he loved how you kissed him like you wanted to devour him, leaving him gasping for air.

And so what if he started enjoying the feeling of lace, and started wearing it most days? It made him feel hot and desirable. And the time his suit was shredded during a fight, Ted was the one who made it weird, it’s just clothes. Clothes that make his boyfriend hard as a rock, but clothes nonetheless.

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samuraionyourmom · 2 days ago

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Oh, absolutely! I probably should've explained my definition for human better. What I meant by "Verlaine having a chance to be human" once that is that it's our actions that make us "human," regardless of if one's orgins. It's not so say that he could've been an actual human, but in a more metaphorical sense of "humanity," meaning someone with free will who chooses to do good with that free will. Adam is also "human" in the way that he chooses to protect Chuuya, even switching him to his "master" because he has free will, even being a robot.

There are a lot of parallels between Verlaine and Adam, two sides of a coin where one reacts violently to his inhumanity and lashes out against the humans that created him and the other who accepts it wholeheartedly and uses it to help those around them. It kinda asks the question, "What exactly makes someone human? Are you guaranteed humanity simply because you were born as one?" Because there are some people that were born as humans but are monsters, perhaps undeserving of the title of humanity, like N. And then there are some artificial beings that feel more human than some of those monsters, like Adam.

In the end, Chuuya decides that it doesn't matter to him. However he came into this world, he has value as a person, human or not, whatever that might mean, and he's going to start living life how he wants to instead of letting everyone else tell him what he can and can't be.

I hope this makes sense. Thank you so much for bringing your interpretation to the table! There are a lot of different ways someone can interpret Stormbringer, and there's a lot of nuance in there that can lead to a lot of different conversations. I just wanted to bring the conversation away from whether or not Chuuya and Verlaine are biologically related because I feel that isn't exactly what the point of their relationship is.

I feel like a lot of people misunderstand the relationship between Verlaine and Chuuya. There's a lot of argument over whether they're biologically brothers or not. That's not the point. The point is how they came into the world and their unnatural birth. Or, at least, how Verlaine perceives it. He sees both him and Chuuya as artificial beings that will never be human no matter how hard they may try, so they may as well stop trying to fit in with these disgusting humans and just find solace in each other. He calls Chuuya his brother because he feels like he's the only one who can truly understand what he's going through. Their "brothership" stems from their shared existence as artificial beings. This is why Chuuya rejects it so violently at first. He doesn't want to be anything like the man who slaughtered his friends. He wants to be human.

Then, throughout the book, Chuuya comes to accept that however he came into this world, naturally or otherwise, he chooses to be human, and that's what it's important. His actions are what make him human. Verlaine learns this, too, but it's already far too late. He, too, had the chance to be human, but he was too focused on the possibility of being inhuman instead of actually trying to be a good person or to accept the care and support of his friend, Rimbaud, and now, he's gone. That is the tragedy of his story. He always had the opportunity to be human, but he threw it away for the sake of anger and hatred.

Only when they have both learned this lesson that Chuuya accepts Verlaine as his brother. Not because they're biologically related or anything, but because they do have this shared experience with one another, and he's here for him. Not because he forgives him for what he did. But because he has an opportunity to be better.

I love stormbringer. It's so good. Anyone reading this who hasn't read it, READ IT!! IF YOU LIKE CHUUYA AT ALL, YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK! IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO HIS CHARACTER!

#bsd stormbringer #bsd #bsd chuuya #bsd verlaine #stormbringer spoilers

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thewardenisonthecase · 1 day ago

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Four Years

Alistair x F!Cousland

Read on AO3

Summary: Alistair writes a letter to his love.

A/N: this is based on the @loveofdragonage prompt of A Lifetime of Devotion.

word count: 803

Today marked four years since Anneliese had gone out to look for a cure.

“I won’t be long gone.” She had told him. “Besides, I’ll keep in touch.”

It had been months since the last time he heard of her. The crown on Alistair’s head was heavier than ever. He had managed for this long without her but for much more would he have to suffer?

Eamon had told him he needed to move on and accept that Anneliese had been lost. Alistair refused. He knew his wife well - she could not be dead.

And even if she was, he would not turn on his vows. Years before, when they were young and with an Archdemon to defeat, he told her that she was the first and only woman he would lay with, if it depended on him.

Alistair prayed more than he did when he lived in the Chantry. He’d beg for the Maker to keep her safe, for her to return to his side. He did not think the Maker was listening to him, however.

When day’s like today happened, when he was feeling particularly mellow, Alistair would write letters. He did not know where Anneliese was and thus, he could not send them to her, but they helped alleviate his feelings.

Sitting down, he began to write on a piece of paper.

“It’s been four years since you’ve left and I keep thinking about the day we met.

Duncan had sent me a letter in advance about you, the recruit from Highever. He hadn’t said much, and by the time the two of you arrived, I’d forgotten most of it.

‘Nothing like a Blight to bring people together’ was the first thing I ever said to you. You had a haunted expression on your face, and yet, I saw a small smirk on your face and you told me you understood. No one had ever liked my jokes before you.

I didn’t know then how much you would mean to me. I never expected to fall in love, much less to have that reciprocated.

There was a moment when I thought you hated me. After all, with the way I lashed out after Connor’s death, I wouldn’t blame you if you did not care for me again. But then you returned my mother’s locket to me and I wondered how could you show kindness to someone who had just said the most awful things to you?

I felt guilty. You had lost your family, your home and Ostagar, and there I was, adding to that burden - either by crying about Duncan or by questioning your decisions, even when I was the one who put you in that position.

I said that then and I’ll say it again now: I thought I was fooling myself. How could someone like you - strong, charming, beautiful and smart - fall for a poor sucker like me? And yet, despite it being the worst time ever, you loved me back.

The face you made when I gave you that rose…I won’t forget it. Just as I’ll never forget your smile and laughter when I made a stupid joke. Or how incredibly hot you looked whenever you were on the battlefield. Or the smell of your hair, or the feel of your hands against my skin.

I’ll never forget the vows we made to each other on our wedding day. How long has it been since then? Ten years? Not a day has gone by where you were not on my mind.

It’s been four years, Anneliese. I don’t know how your search fares, but please, come back home.

You were always a fighter. If someone told you there was no other way, you would find one. You always found a way for us to live. But I have made my peace.

We won’t get forever, my love. Such is the plight of the Wardens.

We won’t grow old. We are beyond children at this rate. Perhaps one day we’ll have to make our way to the Deep Roads. But I can bear all that as long as I have you at my side.

Please. Anneliese. I beg of you. Come back to me”

A few tears had stained the words on the paper. He wiped his face with a handkerchief - the one she had embroidered with a rose. Silently, he folded the letter and placed it on top of the pile with all the other unsent letters and he made himself ready to face the day.

Anneliese would not want him to give up hope. She especially would not want to stop living because of her.

‘If she comes back and sees this country in a mess, she’ll feed me to the darkspawn’ Alistair thought and then shook his head.

When.

When she comes back.

#love of DA 2025 #alistair x cousland #alistair theirin #aliwarden #anneliese cousland #king alistair #queen cousland #hero of ferelden #HOF #warden cousland

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kryptznnn · 1 day ago

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♛/♡ -Tragedy II

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

➸ INTERESTS; - aged up!neteyam x omatikayan f!reader

➸ BACKGROUND; - Love at first sight doesn’t exist, everyone knows that. There’s attraction, reaction, and understanding someone to call something love. Neteyam wasn’t sure what it was that he felt for you, but whatever it was, he didn’t want it to end.

➸ WARNINGS; - wc.6.5k, mentions of heat cycles, rejection, one sided love, unrequited affection, kissing, fluff, smut, p in v, fingering, ejaculation consumption, teasing, dominant fem lead, clouded judgement, mating, biting, blood mentions, etc.

➸a.i; - whoo!! finished this up i hope you guys enjoy it, sorry it took me so long it’s been a really bad week! but im working on other fics and reqs in my inbox (i’ve had since nov-dec) trying to get all the old stuff out first to get to new ideas!! thank u so much for the love! also this lowkey isn't proofread

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

♛/♡ Tragedy I

Neteyam was a good man, a good brother, a good if not great son. Which is why it was so surprising hearing and witnessing him speaking back to his parents for the first time ever. His father complained how worried his mother and grandmother have been about finding a mate for him in order to pass the responsibility Jake had been harboring for over two decades to the next, and Neteyam had simply responded how he didn't care.

He was lying their actions.

As soon as he had mentioned he found someone his father was quick to take his side, smiling at him softly before whispering with his wife to the side, who only shook her head. Her mother had already decided what needed to be done, with or without his approval, the average time of courting would naturally take months, and it was months they didn't have.

The people needed a strong ruler with an even stronger woman by his side. The position of tsahik wasn't a problem, Kiri could always fill it, as she's had the best and most practices from her grandmother, but Neteyam's situation was more complicated. Even as he watched his parents speak to one another he wasn't sure what kind of power his father had over his mother.

He would always give her some look, like a pleading look almost or just a caress to her face in order to swoon her, and it always worked. Maybe it was love, it had to be, his grandmother had spoken to him about how love comes in many shapes or forms but can never be denied. Somehow watching his parents interact before his father placed a kiss on his mother's forehead reminded him of you, and your interaction from earlier in the afternoon on the beach.

It was night now, the sky was bleak and cloudy, the stars hadn't shined as bright as they usually had, almost as if the night sky was mourning as he was. Mourning the loss of love, he was so close to having you to himself and now he felt as if he was going back to square one. It hurt him, but he didn't feel like crying, or getting upset to the point he'd lash out at others around him, he just sat on the cold wooded floors and propped his knees to his chest.

His back was now facing his parents as he watched the sky, asking himself what you were probably doing by this time. Maybe bathing or eating with your family, helping clean up the aftermath or reading to your younger sister. You could've been sewing or beading clothing together for you to wear on special occasions as he watched you do a few months ago.

Or maybe your family was all out and busy for the night and you were all alone at home, waiting for some company. He was sure he could provide you more than just company, making his time with you highly worthwhile, but yet again it would probably be better to talk things out about what happened earlier. Or maybe you two didn't need too talk anything out, when things happen between two people who can't help themselves it's meant to be.

The two of you were meant to be, that sounded satisfactory, it definitely pleased him, bringing a smile to his face. He was so used to growing up and sacrificing things for his sibling's happiness or just too tired to fight for it. He was grateful for that actually, listening to the way his father was raised and the life he lived on the stars from above pained him, no one should live a life like that, but his father always reminded him if he hadn't gone through any of that he wouldn't be blessed in the future to be reborn.

Maybe his father was right, thankfully to him he was grown into a responsible young man, athletic, intelligent, and handsome, there was nothing but greatness in him. He felt more than responsible about you though and just wasn't sure as to why. It was something like a craving or poison in his mind that was stuck there forever.

It would make his insides itch and his outsides hot; it's almost like when you sit out in the sun for too long with dry skin and start to feel discomfort. But the sun feels so nice when you've been in the cold for so long and have nothing else to turn too, that's how he felt about you. You haunted his mind in such an eerie way, and at first, he had even had his grandmother check him for illness 'just because', sure you had done something to him, but nothing came back.

He yearned and grieved for your affection as if you had passed away, like a ghost he could only breath in whenever he closed his eyes. He was sure if anyone was able to hear or read his mind, they'd call him crazy, but he didn't feel that way, he felt free. Soon enough, snapping him out of his trance was a woman walking beside him, one he hadn't seen before.

Or maybe he had seen her before, he just hadn't remembered. His head followed her movements as she made her way behind him, walking towards his parents and taking her side beside them. This immediately made Neteyam spring to his feet and follow behind, raising a brow.

His father introduced the two of them to one another, speaking of their affiliations and granting Neteyam the choice to at least keep their new guest busy and grow fond of her before making a solid decision of his future. He knew his father well, his voice was laced with responsibility and seriousness, but in all honesty, it was mainly code for 'be nice to her and go court whoever it is you wanted'.

He was listening, his ears flicked slightly listening to the woman introduce herself and pronounce her name. 'Fa'nyma', strange name, completely different from yours, but it seemed to suit her somewhat. She was shorter than you, he took notice of her hair was much longer on some part, and she wore lots of jewelry. Maybe it was to impress him, but he could only think of how those jewels would've looked against your skin, your smile.

He smiled to himself and nodded, quickly changing his face into a stir of a frown and turned his attention back to his parents in order for Fa'nyma to not get the wrong idea. He knew better than to be rude, especially to a woman, it's not the way he was raised to be at all, so he would be cordial with her, that he agreed on.

But that kind of promise became difficult to keep when it came to the fact that she practically followed him everywhere. He had planned to come and see you in your kelku, only for her to be right behind him. It would be very problematic to explain the fact that a woman is following him around the entire village as she's now his responsibility.

It had been three days since then, Neteyam had always thought to himself what was an easy way to say, "Leave me the fuck alone", not a nice way, he didn't want to be nice with her. He wanted to sound easy on the ears, but harsh enough for the conversation to get no farther than her understanding and leaving.

Then again, he's sure she wouldn't even understand what the word "fuck" means. It was a sky people term, and his parents had only used it whenever they hit their toe against something or messed up badly or were just upset beyond the point of explanation. His brother cursed often too, practically being more fluent in cursing than his mother's tongue. This is ridiculous, why is it that whenever he's so ready to get something for himself obstacles just throw themselves in his way.

"Fa'nyma" he spoke, placing his bow and arrow down in his hut before removing his headpiece, letting his braids rest on the side of his face before tying them back. She hummed in response, turning to him from the entrance of his kelku and smiling at him. "I'm going out somewhere now, so I'll need you to leave." He spoke solidly, turning his attention away from her when he noticed her cheeky look.

"Don't you want me to accompany you to wherever you're going?" She spoke, Neteyam sucked his teeth lightly before rolling his eyes. She must be one of the stupidest people he's ever met, even his youngest sister Tuk would know if he had said something like that, he would want to be alone. Did it genuinely look like he wanted her company? Or that he enjoyed her company so much he would've said yes?

"I don't enjoy your company, and I won't need it anymore." He said with an attitude, grabbing a small bag in the corner of his room and placing it over his shoulder with a clunk. He soon ushered her out of his room and hut before leaving himself, not even looking behind him to see her.

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

"Y/n" he spoke with a smile, standing in the middle of the tree of voices. He had spent nearly all afternoon looking for you, now being nightfall as he saw you. Your back was facing him, but he knew it was you, he could tell by your scent, your hair, everything.

After spending nearly all of his time with Fa'nyma it was refreshing to see you, to breath you, and to touch you. He was quick to reach a hand out to your shoulder, watching as you spun around slightly for his hand to fall off your shoulder and back up slightly. You weren't smiling, which worried him, he wasn't sure what look you were giving him, but it wasn't one he was expecting.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, definitely taken aback wearing a confused but more hurt look on your face. After having such a passionate moment with a man, you weren’t surprised for it to end so quickly, what you didn’t expect was for him to leave you, especially for three days.

“I’m here to see you of course, I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long, but you have no idea how happy I am to see you aga-“

“It’s been three days Neteyam.” You cut him off harshly, now beginning to become upset, he spoke as if no time had passed. “You kissed me and left me for three days, but it’s easy for you to walk around with Fa’nyma.” You said, earning a flared look from him at your last words.

He was quick to place the bag he was holding down, now holding both of your hands with his own hands. He looked at you with a look of desperation, pledging with you almost to hear him out.

“I don’t like her; it wasn’t up to me I swear it. I told her off this morning, I want nothing to do with her, only with you.” He said, smiling somewhat softly as you again to see you smile as well. He knew something like this would happen, he was ready for it of course, but he knew no matter how things would’ve ended he wouldn’t let you go.

He would apologize anyway he had to, such as bringing you gifts or flowers and fruits, maybe kneeling and pleading with you. He knew you well enough to know you had a soft spot for him, for everyone mostly. Maybe it was childish to feel a pang of jealousy broil in his chest over that topic, but he couldn’t help it.

He liked you, he really liked you, liked you so much he wasn’t sure what to do with himself and he would practically fuck himself over again and again. Maybe it was love, maybe he loved you, he had always had the perfect example of it growing now and all he cares about is making it a reality with you.

And he did just that, apologizing to you over and over and sitting you down on the glowing floor beneath the two of you as he gave you everything from his bag. He practically showered you in gifts you hadn’t seen before, small jewels and crystals from the star above as you had a wide smile on your face.

He had told you he wanted to court you, earn you the right way, in order to bring you towards his family, the proper way. He even slid in a joke about how if things had escalated on the beach everything would be entirely different now, making you laugh.

You were so beautiful, everything about you was so beautiful, your laugh, the way you fluttered your lashes at him as you listened to him speak, or maybe how you kept your skin in contact with his no matter where the two of you were. You weren't afraid to show him off or hint there was something between the two of you and it drove him mad.

He was so quick to mention your name to his family so often that they had no other choice but to force Fa’nyma out of the picture. He thought of himself as a bad person for a short while, purposely flaunting your capabilities and beauty in front of the other woman to watch her face stir with jealousy as he had a sinister smirk plastered on his face.

He must’ve been crazy, in both good and bad ways, but it’s deemed excused because he’s crazy in love, crazy in love for you. So crazy that now after just a few weeks of courting he’s itching to bring things to another level.

He was patient, everyone knew it. He was trained to be at such a young age, like when catching fish with his father, those lessons taught him nothing more than the importance of time. Good things come to those who wait, he had you, but to fully tie the bond between you two he had to be patient.

Love is something that can’t be rushed, patience is a large factor between two people, almost like a test to see what’ll happen under pressure. Sadly, as of right now it felt as if Neteyam was losing, if not losing his mind in the process. Laying on his bedside within his empty kelku, listening to the cold winds outside blow around it and pick up on the small, piped chimes outside his hut entrance his youngest sister made for him.

He couldn’t sleep, his mind was racing, and he felt so empty, and the thought of you was just making up upset. It stirred something inside him he couldn’t entirely understand, all he could think of now was wanting you.

No,

He needed you.

Attached to your affection and presence like a newborn to its mother or father’s skin in order to thrive and feel their love. He wasn’t sure why tonight was so different from the rest, but he couldn’t stay here, something felt off, so he did the only thing he could do and set out into the forests.

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

A simple way of remembering people is by their scent, which Neteyam was familiar with. What he hadn’t been familiar with was your scent being so strong to the point where he paused in his steps and shielded his face, squinting.

It was strange he was able to pick up your scent here of all places, it was in the complete opposite direction of your home. So of course, he did none other than follow it to find you, but what he saw was nothing of what he expected.

“Y/n” he called out, removing his arm from his face to take in your state, hunched over on the floor by a tree whimpering. You hadn’t answered his call, and when he came to you and placed a hand on your skin you hissed at him, slapping his hand away.

He was appalled to say the least, your skin was burning, and your behavior was erratic, since when were you so defensive? A click quickly came to mind, you must’ve been uncomfortable, or afraid, especially to react that way with him of all people.

He was quick to scan the surroundings of the two of you to emphasize the fact that you weren’t alone, someone had definitely been here before he came towards you, lurking. Neteyam was quick to suck his teeth, already piecing together the situation playing out before reaching out to you again.

You were in heat, he felt so stupid letting it slide over his head as he had originally had it calculated. Usually within the middle of every month you disappear for only a handful of days before returning, only this time it seems to have come a little earlier than expected.

You had a shawl sprawled out to your side as you stayed huddled into a ball, fidgeting around as Neteyam made his way behind you, hugging you and rubbing circles into your back. Maybe it was because you weren’t in your best mind, but right now you felt like biting him.

Not in a bad way, in a good way, to draw blood and pleasure yourself, not necessarily to harm him. There was something about how soothing his scent felt that the scent of the other navi man lurking in the woods prior seemed to gently fade away. You paid no mind to him as you turned into Neteyam’s embrace, snuggling into his chest with a slight purr and whine.

You felt so hot, and itchy, the cool night breeze hadn’t helped you quick enough, but Neteyam’s body had. His chest was firm and cool, like how the ponds or lakes underneath the waterfalls felt, making you smile softly.

It wasn’t enough to stop your pain and itch, but it was just enough to calm you to a certain extent, his words slurring in your brain as he spoke. You had only responded with slight hums, not sure you’d be capable of responding back in sentences.

He was quick to pick you up to your feet, caressing your face and asking you something. Whatever it was he was quick to take your groan as an answer, now holding you hand in hand as he made his way through the forests, occasionally turning back to take in your ill state.

You weren’t sure what path he was taking, it certainly wasn’t the path to your home, or the main village, but the trees you two passed by before coming to a halt smelled similar to Neteyam. He was gentle, letting you climb up into an unfamiliar place before following right after you, his hand locking right back with yours as his other held your shawl.

He spoke to you again, but your ears remained out of focus, now picking up on the small sound of pattering coming from behind you. You turned slowly, your head hurting as you watched the rain fall. You turned back slowly, placing each hand on the sides of your head, feeling as if someone had taken a bone and hit the sides of your head repeatedly.

You only groaned, slumping over slightly before feeling Neteyam’s hands grab onto your side, ushering you further into the room and sitting you down somewhere comfortably. You kept your eyes squeezed shut, feeling his firm hands leave your body you shot them open, taking in your surroundings as you lowered your hands.

You placed your hands down at the bedside you sat on, dragging your fingers across the woven blankets. This must’ve been his home, the entire place was drenched in his scent, it seemed vacant and cold, it must’ve been the way he liked it. You were quick to bring the edge of the blanket to your nose, inhaling its scent with a slight moan, feeling a rush of adrenaline rush through your body and down to your core.

You lowered the blanket as you heard him returning shortly, crossing your legs and angling them in a position to give you pleasure. Biting back a moan as you clenched around nothing you watched as he came over, giving you a small bowl filled with water for you to drink. You smiled softly at him, taking the bowl into your shaky hands before he covered your hands with his before helping you drink it.

His hands are so large, just like you had remembered about him initially the first time he helped you pick out the fruits from the trees. They practically covered yours if not entirely in length, nearly striking a wave of embarrassment in you. As you finished you were sure he had told some sort of joke, pointing to outside before chuckling back at you.

You only batted your eyes and smiled even wider, nodding at him. You were sure that it had done something to him because he looked away and swallowed hard before leaving the room again. As he made his time quick he came to your side, now sitting beside you and taking your hands into his, speaking again, as your heat grew stronger another wave coursed through your body.

And of course you wasted no time turning to his side, resting your head on his collarbone and inhaling his scent. If you had some sort of shame left before your heat had stripped it from you there would be a possibility you’d have pulled back or apologized, but right now you just didn’t care.

His scent was driving you insane, practically flooding your mind as you caressed yourself into his skin with soft mewls and moans that echoed in his ears. He was more than flustered to say the least, but he had come to a decision on how to help you in any way possible. He simply brushed your hair away from your face to get your attention, which worked before he spoke in sure of you to hear him.

“Use me how you seem fit.” He said sternly, flashing you a toothy smile afterwards. He watched as your pupils blew out nearly full wide, no longer seeing the color of your irises before you turned your head back into his collarbone. You were quick with your actions, licking and nipping at his skin before making your way up to his neck.

A soft kiss was applied to a sweet spot before you licked it, prepping your canines into his flesh before sinking them in slowly. If it hurt it harsh enough you were sure that when you had sense again you’d apologize for it, just not now, not while you enjoyed lapping up the small trickles of blood that dribbled down his warm skin.

Not while you suddenly leap a leg over him, now straddling him as you continued to kiss him. He had barely moved as much as he wanted to, only following your lead and placing his hands on your back as support. He was quick to pull your head in for a kiss to your lips once you finished with his neck of course, this time being more forceful and sinister than the kiss you two had shared previously.

There was a small part of Neteyam that knew this wasn’t the right thing to do, at least some of it. You weren’t in your right mind and the two of you hadn’t been mated, well at least not yet. If anything, that small feeling quickly went away when he too felt himself slipping into the dizzy and foggy feeling of your heat now affecting him.

He had heard stories of something like this before, heats being able to spread towards one another to a certain extent. Things like that could only happen if that individual wanted to share it, and that seemed to be happening at this moment.

You wanted him to feel how you felt, understand how good it felt to be in this situation, as much as you itched or your skin burned, nothing could have been better than easing the pain with someone that made you feel so good.

You liked Neteyam, you were sure of it. Your family liked him too, he was considerate, gentle, humorous, and well put. He made you feel loved, cherished, and satisfactory; he could never say no to you and spoiled you with anything you wanted. Spoiling the one you love comes to a certain extent and giving them whatever they want comes with a price, like as of now when you began to untie your top and loincloth, attempting to untie his as well.

He was quick to grab both of your arms, bringing you to a short halt. You were completely nude now, watching as he took in your full appearance before looking up into your eyes. He was quick to shake his head, a signal of rejection to you, making you frown heavily and whine, tears prickling the corner of your eyes.

He spoke, not sure entirely what he was speaking of, but you were sure he muttered along the lines of ‘being responsible’ when reading his lips, the tears now rolling down your cheeks as you shook your head. There was no way he would leave you in a time like this after escalating the situation so far for the night, you yanked your arms from his grasp before wrapping your arms around his shoulders, whining.

“Please, please, please teyam, hurts so bad, need you, need you here.” You mumbled, grinding against his painful bulge from his shifted loincloth, taking his hand into yours and placing it over your lower pelvis. You watched as he groaned softly, turning his head as his ears flickered around, as if contemplating his next move. You were quick to turn your head in the direction his was turned too, kissing him first this time, wasting no time in forcing your tongue into his mouth.

He only melted at the action, quickly obliging and letting his hands roam your body. He was quick to squeeze you and tease you, letting his fingertips graze over your nipples as you moaned into his mouth, and he moans back. He kept his right hand over your breast, swirling small circles around your nipple and tugging on it every now and again as his left hand followed its way down between your legs.

Your moans now grew louder, more bass coming from them as they rumbled in your chest and throat, breaking the kiss with Neteyam as a small string of saliva was split between you too. You rested your head on the side of his cheek as your moans continued, rumbling directly into his ear, making his breath heavier than before. He only took notice to quicken his actions, his thumb circling your clit gently as his fingers thrusted inside of you.

This much arousal was getting painful in his case, he was sure he had never been this whipped ever no matter what woman he was with. You were so beautiful, your voice, your body, your movements had him captivated, if anything he wished he could stop time just for this moment. He could hardly even feel his fingers, the way they were coated if not dripping in your arousal he slipped in and out so easily it was insane.

What was even more foolish was the fact for just a split second he became jealous of his own fingers, wanting to be inside you himself with his tongue instead, but the way you fidgeted on his lap and begged for more he knew that was something to wait for another time. So, he continued, now drawing his full attention to your face as he watched your body shudder when he curved his fingers, his fingertips grazing against your insides.

He took his hand away from your breasts, now grabbing the side of your face and watching your expression, your skin was still hot, but that hadn’t bothered him. He was more focused on trying to not cum by just the sight of you. Your hair was a mess, your face was flushed and hot, saliva dripping down your lips wasn’t helping, especially when you were panting heavily like an animal with your hooded eyes.

And there it was, that cheeky little smile you do whenever you know you’ve got his attention, batting your lashes at him. He hated that you knew how to get to him so easily, especially at a time like this, it’s as if even though he’s the one pleasuring you, you were doing the same in his favor, and he was definitely right when he watched you come undone on his lap, practically shouting his name as your grip on his shoulders tightened, your nails digging into him as your body jerked forward, shuddering harshly as your orgasm washed over you.

You had no time to catch your breath as Neteyam kissed you sloppily, pulling his fingers out of you as you whimpered into his mouth at the feeling of the emptiness, clenching around nothing. You hadn’t pleaded or begged like before, only finishing your previous work and untying the rest of his loincloth before picking it up, watching as he sucked on his fingers with a small smirk.

You looked away nervously at his actions, placing his loincloth up to your nose and inhaling its scent, kissing it and tossing it behind you as you made sure Neteyam watched you. He only shook his head with a smile, his face flushed as he watched you, grazing his fingertips over your breasts yet again.

“Not satisfied?” He asked, cocking his head slightly to the side as he watched you, your eyes locked onto his body, trailing down until seeing what was hidden underneath his loincloth, making you shudder. After your intense orgasm prior, the heavy cloud of your heat wasn’t as thick as before, now you had at least a little bit of your mind left, now asking yourself if the size was too much to bear.

“Mm-mh” you muttered, shaking your head from side to side as you made your way to grab onto his sex, jolting slightly as you watched it bounce up to hit his lower abdomen. He only chuckled at you as he watched your actions, you had hardly paid any mind to him, now taking it into your hand and fisting it slightly, listening to his soft groans as the entirety of it was coated in precum.

You only smiled to yourself, raising your hips up high as you rubbed the tip onto your core, bucking your hips and moaning harshly as it flicked over your sensitive clit. As quick as the small cloud left your body it was just as quick to hit you, returning to your womb like a storm, making you chew down on your bottom lip out of frustration as you grunted.

Eywa, you felt so empty, as if you’ve been starving for days. Starving for a man to feed off of, starving for your man, your mate, to feed you. This was overwhelming, none of your heats had taken this much of an effect on you, and this physical connection wasn’t enough to share with him, you want him to see, hear, breath, and know you, not just feel you.

“Tsaheylu” you mumbled, reaching behind the back of your head to your kuru, bringing it over your shoulder as you looked down at him slightly. His reaction seemed to be one of surprise or understanding, you weren’t sure which to pick off of, no matter there were no words shared between the two of you in that moment, he only copied your movements.

Before the small tendrils of your kurus could fuse together, you sunk down onto him slowly, both of you breathy and sticky, moans mixing between the two of you. You hadn’t moved and neither had he, taking in one another before making tsaheylu, the same second of the bond between the two of you making you whimper as you rested your head on his shoulder, crying quietly.

It was so intense, as if flashing lights and music had been playing amongst the midst of everything already happening between the two of you. After a few seconds you could hear it, hear and feel how Neteyam felt for you, at first when you felt the warming in your chest you had initially expected it to be your heat, bubbling even harder now. That wasn’t the case, it was his feeling towards you, how his heart raced when he saw you or saw your smile, and how he felt now as he had you nestled on him.

It felt so nice, sharing this feeling and pain with another, lifting the burden off of yourself and having a mate to call your own. Before you were even able to speak Neteyam was quick to hoist himself up in a comfortable position, making you moan out softly.

“I know, I know tiwan. Gonna make you feel better yeah? Right here baby? I know what you need.” He spoke, placing his hand back over your pelvis and abdomen. The word he spoke prior sounded foreign to you, you could tell in the context it was a pet name, just not sure exactly what kind it could’ve been. Before you were able to pick up on that thought you felt Neteyam’s hands grab your behind in a firm manner before thrusting himself in and out of you at a kept pace.

You moaned into his shoulders now as he quickened his pace, making you clench around him. He didn’t like this position at all, don’t get him wrong you felt amazing, this moment was amazing, but he wanted to see you, see your face. He knew how you felt due to your bonding yes, but it wasn’t enough, he needs more.

Which is what led him to waste no time in standing up as he held onto you and turning around, laying you down as he towered over you, neither him leaving from inside you or your tsaheylu breaking. Cooing you as you whimpered and fidgeted against him, pulling him down onto you so you could inhale his scent from his side, but he wasn’t having it.

He rested in his knees now, thrusting into you painfully slow, listening to your groans and complaints with a grin. He liked being cocky, it felt good, especially if it got under your skin and he got to watch you react, it was amusing.

The longer the night continued the less amusing things became however, especially for the both of you. As of now Neteyam had lost track of time, and amount of positions the two of you had been in, but now you were on the floor, the room smelling like nothing but sex and sweat as you both moaned.

Neteyam had tried every other way to satisfy your needs without knotting you, but that’s all you had begged for at this time. None of your other orgasms being enough to get rid of the emptiness within you, he just hadn’t thought you were ready for it.

His last worries was getting you pregnant, it could only happen if he was also in rut, which wasn’t anytime soon, but knotting someone is dangerous (and also something he’s never done before). You were an animal, and that was no exaggeration, from the sweat and cum that had pooled on the bedside and floor your skin and fingertips had gotten wrinkly, along with Neteyam’s, but apparently you hadn’t even cared.

“Please, need it, so emptyyy” you whined, poking at the fat knot at the base of Neteyam’s cock that had been poking at your entrance for some time. Your face was wet with tears and sweat as you threw your fit, moaning as he postponed himself deeper in you to where his knot grazed against your clit.

In a matter of seconds, you were practically fucking him back, arching your back slightly as you pushed back with just as much force he thrusted into you. You could feel it, his knot was practically teasing you in a way you couldn’t explain, it felt like some sort of craze or rush that was driving you mad, mad in a way you drew a smile to your face, chanting praises over and over again before hearing a pop and a painful stretch.

Neteyam halted his movements, a loud moan escaping his lips as his knot had finally entered you. He had towered over you, his chest pressing against your back as you clawed at the floor in desperation. It wasn’t necessarily painful, more uncomfortable as it was a feeling you weren’t used too, and the cloud of your heat had covered most of it.

But oh how full you felt, the pain, tears, and cries from before all seemed to just vanish as you felt the knot lowering, now being filled with Neteyam’s cum at a quick pace. Now you felt full, and in the best way possible, it was all you had truly wanted and finally your needs were satisfied.

You sighed out in satisfaction, feeling him kiss on your neck and back softly before caressing your body. You purred back into him as you felt him move gently and slowly, picking the two of you up off the floor to his bedside, removing the dirty blanket from there before and laying there with you, still back to chest.

“Thank you” you said to him, taking his hand and kissing it with a smile as you felt him smile from behind you. He only played with your hair as he heard you yawn, taking in your small and tired state.

“Mm-hmm, so proud of you baby, did so good.” He spoke, placing a kiss onto your head as he drew faint circles in your back as he watched you drift off to sleep. He smiled to himself before remembering he was still stuck for a while, hopefully he wouldn’t wake you if he pulled out.

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moowithmidnight · 2 days ago

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Okay! My ranting nonsense thoughts on the fight Peggy and Jarvis have in the desert after Ana is shot and Jarvis tries to kill Whitney Frost

(I couldn’t find an easily accessible scenepack for screenshots so rewatch the scene if you need to!)

1. Peggy is a very mixed bag in terms of her reactions when she’s upset- throughout agent Carter she slides fully across the “stiff upper lip” to “unrepentant volatile emotion” sides of the spectrum but it’s also quite simple. She restrains her emotions more (note: not fully bc that’s so important to me) in situations where she feels unsafe.

The perfect example of this is in S1 when Howard tricks her into stealing Steve’s blood- we see her realize that Howard lied to her and grow upset, but before she can leave she runs into Thompson. He has his whole “no man will ever respect you” speech, and she’s clearly upset by that too, and while it shows, she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her upset. He isn’t “safe”.

Howard, ironically, in this situation actually is- despite the blatant misogynistic manipulation he tries 2.5 seconds later, Peggy knows that Howard knows how much Steve meant to her, and she recognizes how much Steve meant to him. There’s no need for pretense.

When Jarvis says “everyone around you dies”, we are shown Peggy clearly trying to compose herself before turning back toward him. Jarvis becomes “not safe” because she doesn’t want to reveal how much she agrees with him. Right now, she doesn’t think Ana has any lasting damage from her attack, so while she’s carrying guilt for the shooting, it’s easier to lash out and point out Jarvis’ hypocrisy.

The language she uses it very cutting and precise, but the calmness she’s trying to project actually speaks to how truly upset she is I think.

1.5. Agent Carter also does a good job of showing the way Peggy reacts faced with one vs multiple stressors, which I feel like way too many shows neglect- of course someone is generally going to have a bigger reaction faced with twenty issues compared to only one. And in this case, it’s definitely a multiple stressors type of situation, but that’s for another day-

2. She blatantly self soothes before she turns to face Jarvis!! This ties into the stuff British upper lip, but you can see her physically rub her hand against her clothes multiple times between the first and seconds shots.

Originally I thought she was clutching the wound she got from Whitney earlier in the season but that would be on the other side.

She also does it again after Jarvis reveals that Ana can’t have children- idk why that’s so special to me but it is.

3. When Peggy retaliates against the claim, the reason her reaction is so sharp and pointed and seemingly angry is because she knows (and believes) that what Jarvis says is true.

Throughout the series, as a general rule, Peggy doesn’t react strongly when people accuse her of something that isn’t true. She’s not immediately angry when they accuse her of treason or when Jack hands her the fake file of her “crimes” during WWII.

But she believes that she gets people killed, so having someone else say that, especially someone who knows how much she believes it, hurts more.

3.5. On that point, she very pointedly never denies what Jarvis says. She disputes this particular example (although only until the moment Jarvis reveals that Ana actually will have lasting complications from the wound) but she never says “you saying everyone around me dies is wrong”.

4. Also!! The words she chooses and her tone are all so telling. She says “lucky you” at the end, and it’s a dig, but the way she says it is loaded with genuine envy. She does think he’s lucky, she wants that. The whole speech is so reminiscent of Dottie’s speech to her at the end of S1, where she’s trying for anger but says how jealous she used to be of girls like Peggy.

5. I think the thing that really destroys Peggy here too is the fact that it’s Jarvis saying this. Replace him with any other character- even Daniel- and I truly think her reaction would’ve been different.

For one, Jarvis is the sole person who she confided in about how she believes being around her gets her loved ones killed, and this was the beginning of season 1. “Maybe lose is too nice a word- I get them killed”.

The other thing is that it’s Jarvis. Bumbling, well-meaning, kind of naive, very sweet and endearing, thinks so highly of her Jarvis. So to her, if he finally sees this as the truth, then she really is doomed.

6. The fucking tear, dear lord. After Peggy starts to walk away again, we get very clear shots of her face as Jarvis fades into the background. But it’s only after she whips around to face him that the lighting shifts and we see the tear sliding down her cheek- sick and twisted truly.

7. Peggy’s last sentence before Jarvis reveals Ana can’t have kids is “the moment we escape this desert, we can escape each other forever” which is obvious harsh. And while Peggy’s tone is very sharp and jagged, it doesn’t really reach angry when combined with her facial expressions- she’s clearly upset. It speaks to her attempt at restraint, especially the way “forever” is clearly choked compared to the rest of the sentence.

She wants to hurt him and lash out, yes, but I also think it’s partly her tendency to push everyone away from her peeking through again for a very important reason- Jarvis was the original person who encouraged her to form connections. He was the one who told her she couldn’t (and didn’t need to) take on the weight of the world alone. His encouragement led to her forming relationships outside of the SSR and eventually to letting him tag along with her, the thing he now resents her for.

8. In the gif set my original reblog tag was on, the first gif is right after Jarvis says that Ana “is married to a coward, who can’t bring himself to tell her [she can’t have kids].”

Hayley Atwell’s acting is this is incredible- the way Peggy clearly wants to reassure him at first, her face screaming “you aren’t a coward” but physically can’t bring herself to speak because you can tell as soon as she does her voice is going to break (which she does).

But even after that, you can see the exact moment where she fully processes and internalizes the blame. Before this, like I said, she’s so clearly jealous, because as far as she knows, while Ana did get hurt, she’s 100% fine. All of a sudden the rug is pulled out from under her and she has to reconcile with the fact that, oh shit, she did get someone else hurt. You can see her eyebrows kind of furrow and her face scrunch up slightly more as she goes through that process, leaning toward “I’m going to start sobbing” as her chin literally wobbles.

9. Jarvis’s apology. Jesus. “It’s not an excuse for what I did because it is inexcusable. But I am truly sorry.” Not only was it so incredibly genuine, but it’s so telling- the way his words are left purposefully vague so the audience can’t tell what he’s apologizing for— trying to kill Whitney and/or lashing out at Peggy— is delicious writing.

10. This is technically after the scene ends, but Peggy denying Jarvis’ obvious attempt to plan out their next move by saying “no, Mr. Jarvis, you need to be with your wife” is also very telling. It isn’t her holding a grudge and being petty, it’s the result of their argument but only because, again, she fully believes that what Jarvis said is true.

The obvious guilt she was carrying from Ana being shot is now multiplied into oblivion, especially because- simile to Colleen, who’s death sparked her confiding in Jarvis about this in the first place- Ana is entirely non-involved in this. She isn’t part of the SSR, a veteran, or anyone who has a stake in their job the way many of the other dead characters were. She was never supposed to get hurt, she was never supposed to even be at risk.

—

Anyways. Peggy Carter I love you and your terrible tragic life and I wish you could have had a long hard cry after this because you deserve it!!

Also I wrote these out of order- because rants- so the ones in the middle are probably a lot stronger than the beginning rip

(This might be my longest post ever I am so sorry @malewifegradyruewen LMAO)

#disclaimer that when I say stuff like this I’m never trying to act like these are somehow one of a kind revelations #I just like to yap!!!#and I really love peggy #and I love the ‘I kill everyone around me I deserve to be alone so I can’t hurt anyone’ trope #it’s even more delicious when it’s true #and in Peggy’s case my poor baby it’s undeniably true #rip Steve rip Bucky rip Colleen rip like all her coworkers rip Jack rip Daniel rip Howard rip Maria rip Jarvis rip-#agent carter

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