#the more of this i do the more i out myself as a musical theater person

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 9

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

‘So,’ Damen heard Lazar say to Jord, ‘what’s it like having an aristocrat suck your dick?’ It was the evening after the rockfall at Nesson, and they were a day’s ride further south. They had set out early, after assessing damage and repairing wagons. Now Damen sat with several of the men, sprawled by one of the campfires, enjoying a moment’s rest. Aimeric, whose arrival had prompted Lazar’s question, had come to sit beside Jord. He returned Lazar a level look. ‘Fantastic,’ Aimeric said. Good for you, thought Damen.

"GOOD FOR YOU, THOUGHT DAMEN."

Lazar made a good-natured sound of disbelief. ‘For real,’ he said to Damen. ‘Who gets a leg over, you or him?’

“for real” is just slightly anachronistic and it fits the scene very well. “for real bestie who tops”

The company was in peak condition after Nesson. The wagons were repaired, and Paschal had patched up the cuts, and Laurent was not smashed by a rock.

He could see Laurent’s tent, lamp-lit and streaming flags; it was like a pomegranate, its rich excesses on the inside.

damen.

Damen had woken from a cocoon of sleep this morning to the sound of a lazy, amused, ‘Good morning. No, I don’t need anything.’

The men were experiencing camaraderie in the face of a common enemy, and it was natural that he was feeling it too, or something similar, after a night of chases and escapes and fighting alongside Laurent. It was a heady elixir, but he must not get swept up in it. He was here for Akielos not for Laurent. His duty only extended so far. He had his own war, his own country, his own fight.

if this was a musical you just know that greek chorus would be roasting the shit out of him rn

This very morning Laurent had sent a man flying back to Nesson, with money and thanks, to return Charls his horse.

do you think he signed it as himself?? maybe we find out in book 3

But this rider was nothing like that. Dressed in leathers with no sign of crest or livery, riding a good but plain horse, and most surprising of all—pushing back a heavy cloak—she was a woman.

LET’S GOOOOO

In memory of your morning with us. And for the next time you need a disguise.

i love the implication that he genuinely charmed the women at the brothel, like, not in a horny way. like they’re just kind of rooting for him, to the degree that they got this dress to him. i need the fic about this entire grift, how he talked to them, their reaction, etc

Curious, he unwrapped another layer of cloth to reveal more cloth: blue and ornate, it spilled out over his hands. The dress was familiar. Damen had last seen it open and trailing laces, worn by a blonde; he’d felt that embroidered ornamentation under his hands; she’d been halfway in his lap. ‘You went back to the brothel,’ said Damen. And then the words next time tapped him on the shoulder. ‘You didn’t wear—?’ Laurent sat back in the chair. His cool gaze didn’t answer the question one way or another.

:-)

‘It was an interesting morning. I don’t usually have the chance to enjoy that kind of company. You know my uncle doesn’t like them.’ ‘Prostitutes?’ said Damen. ‘Women,’ said Laurent.

yeah this isn’t surprising. for multiple reasons. i do like how we get some implication that laurent feels differently—another sign that he is fit to be king

‘Vannis is our delegate. He needs her, and he resents that he needs her, and she knows it,’ said Laurent.

vannis = vannes?

They were two days out from Acquitart, and the people in this region knew their Prince, and sometimes came out to line the roads, greeting him with warm and happy expressions, which was not the way that anyone who knew Laurent greeted him.

If there’s anyone alive who can strike a blow that will bloody the Regent’s nose, it’s him.

and loyse

‘As we draw closer to the border, I think it would be safer—more private—to hold our discussions in your language rather than mine.’ He said it in carefully pronounced Akielon. Damen stared at him, feeling as though the world had just been rearranged. ‘What is it?’ said Laurent. ‘Nice accent,’ said Damen, because despite everything, the corner of his mouth was beginning helplessly to curve up. Laurent’s eyes narrowed.

“i speak your language better than you speak mine, sweetheart”

‘You mean in case of eavesdroppers,’ said Damen, mostly just to see if Laurent knew the word ‘eavesdroppers’.

It was of course no surprise to find that Laurent had a well-stocked armoury of elegant phrases and bitchy remarks, but could not talk in detail about anything sensible.

Damen had to keep reminding himself not to grin. He didn’t know why listening to Laurent pick his way through the Akielon language had him in good spirits, but it did. Laurent did indeed have a pronounced Veretian accent, which softened and blurred consonants and added a lilt, with stresses on unexpected syllables. It transformed the Akielon words, gave them a hint of exoticism, of luxuriousness that was very Veretian, though that effect was at least partially combatted by the precision of Laurent’s speaking.

i love this. another example of how damen’s affection for laurent isn’t just based on his appearance. he has this kind of subconscious desire to see the gap between them bridged, and is DELIGHTED when it happens in all its awkward glory. he falls in love a little more with every moment that laurent feels like an actual human person in the room with him

‘We’re done for the night. Come here and attend me.’ Those words rattled around in his mind.

damen.exe has stopped working

‘You don’t like it?’ said Laurent. He knew better than to say what he did or didn’t like. Laurent’s voice held a hint of interest at his discomfort that was always dangerous.

and we’re talking about the book 1 garden scene again! “he likes it” etc, the matter of consent and pleasure, how damen views the entire thing in retrospect. i think there is some grey area being presented by the narrative about this overall subject—for someone like laurent, with the history and reservations he has, it would have been an unforgivable violation to have been put in the position he put damen in. but to damen, enthusiastically sexually active with many partners since his teenage years, and very used to being in control, it isn’t regarded retrospectively in the same way. it’s not my place to say whether this is right or wrong, good or bad, in terms of how non-consent should be portrayed in fiction (or if there even is a hard “should”), but i do at least appreciate that pacat seems to have committed to damen’s understanding of the scene and doesn’t really compromise.

‘Perhaps if I were more authentic,’ said Laurent. ‘How does an owner command a bed slave in Akielos? Teach me.’

this is such a laurent move. fluster him, talk shit about his morally bereft culture, and half-jokingly propose roleplay all at once

‘You said in Nesson that you had used slaves,’ said Laurent. ‘Don’t you think I should know the words?’ He forced his hands to move. ‘If you own a slave, you may command him however you like.’ ‘I haven’t found that necessarily to be the case.’ ‘I would prefer you to talk to me as a man,’ he heard himself say. Laurent turned under his hands.

god they make me crazy. damen having a big moment here in reconsidering his values. laurent enjoying the fact that he’s making damen reconsider his values, because he knows damen can do better, which is different from the previous times he’s challenged damen. we’ve moved past mutual moral arbitration, because they both have started to understand each other. now they’re pushing to see just how on-the-same-page they really could be.

also, laurent would be diabolical in high school debate

also also, “i would prefer…” feels like a big moment re: damen admitting how he feels about laurent, TO laurent. even if he doesn’t fully know what he’s admitting here, he’s essentially saying that he sees himself as a voluntarily ally rather than a slave, which laurent absolutely does not expect and probably would not accept at this point

He felt rather than heard his voice change in the intimate space. ‘But if you would rather—’ ‘Step back,’ said Laurent.

yeah laurent’s having some trouble unpacking that. i forget the exact wording but this reminds me of a later quote, “i don’t have the means to defend from this,” “this��� being earnest affection

They gazed at one another.

i really should be counting these but oh well. it’s less funny to document than the laurent leans and hr complaints

‘Unless you need anything,’ he heard himself say, ‘I’ll go and bring in some more coals for the brazier.’ ‘Go,’ said Laurent.

laurent braces himself on the table as soon as damen leaves. the opening guitar riff of “granger danger” from a very potter musical plays faintly in the background

The water had been bracing cold in the warm night. He had dunked his head and let it run over his chest and shoulders, then he had scrubbed down and waded out and pushed the water from his hair.

not the cold shower…

Laurent was well made and capable, and Damen was a man, as other men. Half the soldiers in this camp wanted Laurent under them. The body’s reaction could be discounted, as it had been, determinedly, at the inn. Any man would have been roused by Laurent playing pet in his lap. Even knowing what was under the earring.

damen you’re not beating the “granger danger” accusations either

After a long moment, he took his eyes off Laurent and looked back at Lazar, who was gazing at him with a rather dry but understanding smile quirking the side of his mouth. ‘All right what?’ said Damen. ‘All right, you’re not fucking him,’ said Lazar.

“but you wanna be soooo bad” 😭

[aeide-thea]

oh right i forgot the real reason i stopped listening to broadway clips was that i've got this whole enormous miserable knot in my chest abt having been too socially anxious to do anything with my once-upon-a-time-very-gorgeous voice once i got spat out of the safe little nest of my high school, and like, most of the time i forget that knot even exists, but when i listen to the sort of music i used to be part of making (proper opera but also showtunes) it's like. this whole fast-forward feelings journey thru 'oh right that didn't actually go away, it's still right there in my throat, just calcified' to 'oh okay we tugged the loose end and it's unraveling and actually it was keeping contained a whole rush of tears like aeolus' bag of winds in the odyssey…'

[readychilledwine]

Odd One Out pt 2

Summary - After 500 years of friendship, the last thing you ever expected was the Inner Circle to miss one of your symphonies. But you know what they say, time changes people.

Warnings - 10 year time jump, groveling, Fluff, reader forgives Azriel, loosely edited (Liz will fix and check for mistakes she and her friend missed with fresh eyes 💕)

A/N - forgive the name picked for Kal and Vivienne's daughter. So many of you are playing with Disney princess themes I couldn't shake it.

Odd One Out pt 1

✨️ Azriel Masterlist ✨️ Master Masterlist ✨️

Dawn was beautiful. In the past 10 years, as you had toured the Realm performing, you had realized that quickly. Every court always brought you back to Dawn. Every High Lord brought you back to Thesan. Thesan had allowed you to build home here, welcoming you and your talent with open arms, and tonight was a true testimony of his love for you and your music as he paid you a high honor.  

Thesan had spent the day hosting the quarterly High Lord's Meeting, and tonight, his gift of relaxation to the other High Lords was you, your orchestra, and a night of candle lit music, champagne, and food. 

You smoothed out the dress Thesan had commissioned for you tonight. An off the shoulder tulle number with long sleeves. It was soft and buttery, flowing with every step. The top hugged you perfectly, and two long slits sat on each leg, exposing them and the heels you were wearing. The fabric was a soft white color, a stark opposite to your conducting gowns in the Night Court. Jewels were sewn into the fabric, dripping down your body like you had been wrapped and bathed in starlight. The only sign of your home was that star-like glow and the earrings Azriel had bought you many years ago. The rough diamonds set in rose gold had backs that dropped on delicate chains with another diamond sitting at the bottom. “something delicate for my gentle girl,” he had whispered that sentence to you, letting it sink into your skin and mind. 

How odd it truly felt to compare that moment to when Azriel sat there in silence as Elain lashed out against all you had built, all your hard work, studying, you're very being. 

You took a deep breath, silencing your nerves as the theater went quiet. Dinner had been served, drinks flowing left and right, and now it was time. You watched as you musicians took their places, sitting and preparing themselves as well. Most had followed you from Night, and last you tragically heard, the Rainbow had grown silent in your absence. The new musicians ranged from every court, every walk of life. You smiled fondly at what you had remade, at their outfits so finely crafted of black fabric and silks. 

Thesan took the stage next, doing something Rhysand never had, “High Lords and Ladies, faithful emissaries, friends. After a long day of tense negotiations, words said in anger and frustration, and Rhysand's horrible father jokes,” a loud “hey” came from the audience making you laugh softly, “I could not think of a more enchanting way to end our night. A decade ago, a talented female came to me, offering to exchange a week of shelter and security for her playing music nightly for my court.” 

Thesan looked so softly towards you, “An offer many of you would go in to receive as well as she traveled our lands studying our music and history. Her talent had touched my fae and myself so deeply that when the time for her to make a home base came, I was honored when she approached me and built this theater to her exact wants and needs.”

He continued after a long breath, “Tonight is her first performance and opening night. I felt it would be wrong for anyone besides all of us to see her newest pieces first. Pieces inspired by every court, by all of our stories, of our fae’s stories. She wrote a collection of 7 songs, for us, about us.”

Silence refell over the room, a quiet appreciation for what they were about to see. “Without further ado, y/n.”

Clapping began as the faelights turned off, and candles took their place, glowing and reflecting off your gown. You bowed gracefully before turning and raising your hands as soon as Thesan took his seat. You began the concert in Tamlin's court, playing a piece inspired by his own love of music and the sounds of a spring storm. The music rose before a gentle fall where everything became more gentle as if it was quiet after a hard rain. You couldn't see as Briar took his hand at the swell, the soft moment where the violin went from the jig of a fiddle to the formality was a reflection of the moment Tamlin's dreams were lost to him, but new dreams began.

Summer was a symphony to the magic of bioluminescence. The sound was heavily inspired by the night of laughter and fun you had watched Varian and Amren enjoy. It had been the ancient female's first time seeing the ocean turn to waves of stars, and Varian had hired you to play for them that night. She cried as a familiar harp solo came, one that she had turned to Varian on one knee as you played it. 

Autumn was the sound of battle and passion. Eris's rise as high lord was captured in every note, every building drum. The high lord openly smiled during the peak. The moment where drums of war faded to the sounds of peace. The sound of peace after war was shown through a soft wood flute playing. An instrument that was born in Autumn's halls.

Winter had been the most unique to compose. Kallias and Vivienne's story was so well known, but their daughter, their darling Elsa, the 10 year old princess, was an unknown and protected factor. You took a deep breath before beginning this piece and looked to the white-haired girl, “For you,” you said softly to her bright grin. Elsa had written on sheet music for you during your stay there, lyrics to accompany the notes on your page, you held out your hand, welcoming your only singer for the night. The song was a desperate plea, a singer begging to be noticed for who she was, for her talent to be noticed before her beauty. You had picked the singer based on how young and fragile her voice sounded, the way it truly felt like a cry as she begged to be looked at for who she was. 

Dawn's turn came and the music felt like taking flight, it encompassed the thrill of the air, of an early morning sunrise adventure. The piece left you breathless due to the amount of movements it took. It was intricately layered and as lively as Thesan's court while maintaining an air of class. 

The Day Court was music of love and sex. Tender moments mixed with playful notes and chords that screamed sensuality. The tone was overall seduction, but moments of tenderness came through as well. It was a tribute to the biggest flirt you knew. The biggest flirt who became the most faithful husband. 

You were left with one court. You turned to begin your thank you and took a deep breath, “Over the past several years, you all have welcomed me into your courts and homes with open arms. You allowed me to study the music of your homes, your culture, and learn to play them to perfection. For that, I will always be grateful and so humbled by the generosity and kindness shown to me.”

You took a deep breath, stilling the last of your nerves. “My story begins in Night, though. My childhood began a long friendship between myself and someone who pushed me towards my dreams. This last song is dedicated to him.”

Azriel heard as Rhysand held his breath. He watched as his brother laced his fingers with Feyre. Feyre began to cry immediately. Of all the songs you composed, this one held the most strings, a clear call to Rhysand and your humble beginnings in the streets of the Rainbow playing. Azriel watched you in awe. 

You turned and a voice you had heard countless times played through magic. It was the moment they had met and a soft purr of, “There you are. I've been looking for you," echoed before the music began.

10 years, 10 years without even so much as a whisper or note. He watched you move with grace, watched as a violin sang softly. The tune was a call to the Inner Circle, and before Azriel could stop them, his shadows began to dance. 

Every movement of your arms and body was like watching liquid starlight sparkle and gleam to the fantasy inducing tune you had created. As your hands fell to indicate the end, Azriel felt his heart stopping. 

It was the bond that drew him to you. 

It was the years of friendship, of quiet nights listening to you play for just him, or long hours with you hands over his, so soft and warm, teaching him to play piano. 

It was the fact that he was in love with you. And he realized he had been for a very long time. 

Kind, talented, beautiful, you. 

He watched as you wiped a few quick tears as you and Rhysand held eye contact. He felt his breath hitch as you bowed during your queue before walking out. 

The orchestra played a familiar tune as everyone stood to leave and feyre began to cry. You had played this song during Feyre's first Starfall, hoping the romantic tune would have been enough to make the high lord and his mate kiss. It became a song they begged you to play every second they could. Rhysand held Feyre while looking at Azriel. 

“Get. Her. Back.”

You did not attend the after party. Seeing the Inner Circle had been too much. You had hoped that after all these years, that pain would be gone. You leaned against your balcony, humming a new tune you wanted to write. A shadow caressed your skin as you moved inside and sat at your harp. “I know you want me to play your song.” The shadow swirled and began to dance as you plucked the taunt strings. 

“You spoil them.” Your breath hitched at that familiar voice. “Don't stop,” Azriel sat down in the corner of the room. “They've missed dancing for you.”

You let out a shaking breath and began again, watching with a soft smile as the shadows weaved and played. The sight always memorized you. They always memorized you. These beautiful shadows were more like children than darkness. Each had a personality, a voice, a preference in instrument. You finished and lowered your hands.

“Elain is probably wondering where you are.”

Azriel rose a brow, “Elain and Lucien are on their honeymoon, sailing the world.” 

You knit your brows. “I'm sorry. I know you loved her.”

“Not the way I love you.” Silence fell over the room, “I have loved you for so long and been blind to it. I will never get back the time I wasted in my stupidity. I will never be able to take back the hurt Elain caused you.” 

You went to open your mouth and speak, “No. I want you just to listen to me, y/n.” You nodded and looked at him. “I love you,” he stated it like a finality. “The bond snapped for me the night you left, but in your absence, I have realized I loved you long before that blessing and that I would love you long after.”

He paused and continued, “I was silent when Elain spoke to you because I was in shock, but that isn't a good enough excuse. She hurt you, and I stayed silent. I will never forgive myself for that, so I do not expect you to. I'm not even worthy of asking you for a chance to make things right, but I am here as a desperate male. A male who wants nothing more than his mate, his love.”

“Azriel-” 

“Listen,” he moved to you, getting in his knees before you and taking you hands in his. He placed one on his face and smiled. “I dream of this gentle hands, of the joy they bring. I dream of you. Of your love and light. Your heart. When I sleep, I pretend I can hear your heart dancing for me, luring me like a siren spell.” 

Your bottom lip trembled and a tear fell, his love for you poured down that neglected bond, warming every inch of your being. “Azriel..” 

“Y/n, I am so sorry I wasted so much of your time, of our time.”

You threw your arms around him, holding him tight as he continued. “I beg you to allow me to try to make this right. To show you how special you are to me, to our home, to our family. I am begging you for just a chance.” 

His words left like a healing and soothing balm on unseen wounds. “Our family is at a party just below you. Waiting for me to either come back with you or to mourn the loss of you forever. Tell me what I am doing. If I have failed us.”

The party was in full swing as Rhysand watched Nyx and Feyre dance. He held his empty whiskey glass, debating on another one when perfectly manicured hands grabbed his empty glass and placed a full one in his grasp. He grabbed that soft hand instantly, “y/n darling.”

“Rhysand,” He turned and kissed your palm, violet eyes on yours. You continued the greeting softly. “Your presence makes my mind sing the most beautiful song.”

Rhysand held back tears as he answered, “And my heart longs to hear you play it.” He nuzzled your hand. “Come home to us.”

You sighed happily as Azriel rested his hand on your back, “I believe we can negotiate that." 

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp

Odd One Out Taglist:

@gabbiskylar01 @whyonearthisyourusernamethi-blog @blacktreacle22 @buttermilktea11 @heartless-tate @nerdy4itall @eep500 @tele86 @cleverzonkwombatsludge

[buckyownsmylife]

out of the woods (chris evans x famous!reader smut)

the one where Chris watches an interview of you on the Ellen show

Warnings: mention of small stature in comparison to Chris, smut thoughts, Ellen Degeneres trash talking/thinking, cursing, mention of prescription medicine, talk of age gap (reader is younger than Chris), jacking off, daddy kink

WC: 3k

A/N: this doesn't really have an ending, so if you all like it, I might make a series out of it - the idea is that you are also famous (for acting, singing, writing) and have been friends with Chris but there's always this underlying tension between the two of you. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: no, he's not married in this story nor do I intend to feature Alba in any part of it whatsoever.

Chris’ P.O.V.

I was scrolling through Twitter when I realized some fans were tagging me in a short video of Y/N on Ellen DeGeneres’ show. I knew she had gone there by herself, mostly to promote her new album, but also to give some publicity for our movie, so I was aware that she would probably talk about me at least a bit… Curiosity got the best of me and I clicked the link to check the video for myself.

She looked gorgeous as always, her hair down in that way I loved so much and her skin seemed to be as soft as ever under the mini dress she chose to wear, her legs stretching out and making her look taller than she actually was. I chuckled, remembering just how small she looked by my side.

I remembered one time when I lifted her up, bridal style, and spun her around the pub we had close to the set, after the Patriots had won a game. Despite not understanding the game, she tagged along and celebrated every time I got excited, like the cute person that she was. I got so transfixed by her giggles back then. They were the sweetest sound and the only thing I heard, despite the fact that we were in the middle of a very loud bunch of dudes. 

I found myself imagining again, as I had then, what it would be like to have her under me, trapped by my arms in bed, or better yet, against a wall, only my thighs securing her in place while I made her moan with my touch. How would she sound? Or, better yet, how would she feel?

Christ. 

Shaking my head, I tried to gather my thoughts so as to not let them stray too far in that direction, something I didn’t have much success in doing, despite the fact that I had been practicing that simple habit every single day since I met her. But it was proving to be a nightmare. She was just far too tempting.

Shaking my head once more, I focused on the video in front of me. My heartbeat had sped up as soon as it started, but I tried to tell myself it was because I was scared for her, since I knew how Ellen could get invasive sometimes.

“So, Y/N…” She started, eyeing my co-star. “You have just finished working on a movie with someone we’re very familiar with, isn’t it?”

Y/N giggled, nodding at the blonde woman. “I suppose so. We have just finished the promotion for it, maybe you guys have already seen it?” She asked the crowd, who went nuts at her. It was sweet to see this kind of feedback, I truly believed in our movie and the fact that I got to know her was just an added bonus.

“For those of you who don’t know what we’re talking about, it’s called ‘Be Here Now’ and it’s currently in a theater near you. Y/N stars alongside Chris Evans, who we love so dearly here, and they play brother and sister as they try to reconnect after their parents' passing.”

More applause at that. I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes at her idea of love. Last time I was there, she made me pretty uncomfortable, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

“So, how was the process for you? We know you’re familiar with the filming process, since you star in your own series ‘Evermore’, that sent you to stardom, along with your songs, but you had said before you’d never act outside of it, since your true passion relies on music. What changed your mind?” Ellen sat back as she said that, already comfortable with the fact that something good would come out of this interview, since Y/N had been pretty vocal about what made her decide to do the movie, even with me.

“Chris did, actually. Or, in fact, the fact that he was cast in it.” A chorus of “aws” echoed around the room and there was no way to know if they were real or prompted, but they were quickly interrupted by the host.

“So, you were a fan?” She instigated, as to what Y/N nodded again.

“Of course. Well, my mom more than me, but I was the one who introduced his work to her, so…” She poked her tongue out at the camera, to which my heart (and my cock) jumped in response. “Ever since I got into this, when I first had the idea for Evermore with James, I told him time and time again I would never act outside of this, because I had no intention whatsoever on becoming an actress. I have always been in this for the music. Well, the writing. I’m a writer, I like writing scripts and songs, I’ve fallen into this performer thing by accident. But I’ve always been adamant about the fact that if I ever had the opportunity to act alongside Chris, I’d take it. It doesn’t matter that I don’t think I’m good enough. It didn’t even matter if the script was terrible, which thankfully wasn’t the case, I just really admire him and his work and I would never live with myself if I turned this opportunity down.”

Even though I knew most of this, I couldn’t help but to gloat at the fact that this incredible woman actually admired me. She was so much better than me in so many things, even acting, and she still thought I was great enough to get her to participate in a movie. 

“So, what I’m hearing is, you have a little crush, that’s right?” And there it was. The coup. Of course. That evil wench…

“That’s what you took out of everything I said? Jesus, Ellen, has anyone ever told you that you listen like a man?” Ouch. That one was perfect. Being the ambassador for females and lesbians everywhere, it couldn’t not hurt her, especially coming from someone as angelical, sweet and universally-loved as Y/N. I appreciated the quick second her smile faltered before it became plastered on her again.

“No, I haven’t heard that before… But tell me, have you met any of the other Marvel actors? I mean, granted, there are a lot of them now, but especially those who have worked closely with Chris?” Y/N shrugged at that.

“I have been friends with Elizabeth Olsen for a very long time, we’re very close, but other than that, no. I haven’t had the chance to properly meet, or rather, hang out with any of them.”

“Who’s first on your list?”

“Anthony Mackie,” Y/N promptly responded, getting a few laughs and claps from the audience.

“My, you had that answer ready” Ellen teased, to which Y/N simply shrugged again. 

“We talk through social media sometimes and I know for a fact he’s hilarious. I hope we get to meet sometime. I might just have to bug Chris about it.” She had already, in fact. I couldn’t wait to introduce them to each other and I was already planning my next party just to be able to make that happen.

“What about Sebastian?” Ellen asked, a glinter of something extremely suspicious in her eyes.

“Sebastian Stan? No, we haven’t met, but I’d love to get the chance to someday. He seems extremely sweet and I know he’s very talented and Chris loves him, so I think it’s a matter of time until it happens.”

“I heard somewhere you had a bit of a crush on him, right? Even if you don’t admit that you have one on Chris?” This fucking woman. I could fucking kill her right now. But, to my surprise, Y/N simply laughed.

“Truly, you have got to check your hearing sometime soon, because that is absolutely false.” 

“Really?” Ellen pushed, to which Y/N beamed even brighter at her.

“Positive.” A beat as the two women stared at each other down. “I think what you meant is that I have had a huge crush on his character, Bucky Barnes.” Y/N explained, laughing at the host. “I admit that only happened after I saw Sebastian’s portrayal of him, but my attraction to a fictional character can’t be really connected to him.”

Ellen nodded, obviously not paying attention to anything she was just saying. “Well, let’s figure out who do you actually feel attracted to, shall we? Let’s play fuck, marry or kill!”

The audience screamed and, to my surprise, Y/N didn’t even blink, a patient smile painting her lips as she calmly watched the interviewer. “So, Y/N, between Anthony, Sebastian and Chris, who would you rather fuck, marry or kill?”

Y/N shook her head, still smiling at the older woman. “I couldn’t possibly answer truthfully to this question, Ellen, mostly because I am not capable of feeling carnal attraction to people I have never met, but I can 100% assure you that I would marry Chris without blinking twice if there was a choice.” 

My heart skipped a beat at her words. The crowd went crazy, obviously satisfied with the answer.

“And you’re sure you don’t have a crush on him?” Ellen’s eyes glistened with mischief, as she stared at the younger woman.

“Ellen, I think the question here is… Are you sure *you don’t have a crush on him?” The laughs from the audience was the last thing to come from the video before it stopped, and I found myself echoing them in the silent living room. Oh my, how I missed this girl.

I tapped my fingers nervously on my jean-clad thigh, looking around the room. I had been staying in Boston with my family for the last few weeks, since the movie premiered and we had finished promotion, and I had found myself constantly calling her to share funny stories from my nephews or to hear about her day. I knew she wanted to meet my family, she had always said she admired the fact that we were so close, despite there being so many of us.

My mom obviously loved her, having been a fan of hers long before I even heard about her existence. So what if…? 

Before I could second-guess myself, I pressed call in the name of the woman I had been thinking about. The phone rang three times before she picked up, stopping me from giving up on this crazy idea.

“Hey, Chris! How are you? I missed talking to you, it’s so weird seeing you everyday for four months and then suddenly not at all anymore.” I know I was literally forty, but I literally melted at this girl’s words.

“Did you now? Is that because you wish we were married, so we could see each other everyday?” Her breath hitched as she realized I had seen the video and I could just imagine the cute little embarrassed expression she was probably sporting right now. I tried to ignore the fact that my words and tone of speaking had suddenly become way too similar to when I was flirting with a girl.

“Fuck, you saw the interview.” I had never heard Y/N curse before, so the fact that I suddenly had no control over my mouth could be explained by the unavailability of blood in my head, since it had all gone south.

“Come stay with me for a while,” I spilled suddenly. Silence was the only answer I got from the other side of the call and my heart sped up in a way that only happened when I was truly anxious. I was already cursing myself out for scaring the poor girl when she finally answered.

“Are you serious?” She asked, her voice barely over a whisper. It was obvious how vulnerable she was feeling, and a sense of overprotectiveness overcame me. “Please don’t joke about this, Evans. This better not be a prank. ‘Cause I really do miss you a lot.”

Fuck indeed. There was no way something good would come out of this idea, but there was no way I would go back either.

“Of course I’m being serious. Come to Boston. You can stay with me, but I think my mom is going to steal you before you even settle in.” A large breath came from the other side.

“Okay. Okay! I’m going to pack my bags. Yay! I’m so excited!” She was clearly jumping up and down with the perspective of what was to come, and I couldn’t help the smile that painted my lips not only at her cuteness, but also due to my own excitement at her arrival. 

“Great! I’ll be waiting.” My heartbeat still hadn’t gotten back to a normal speed. “Text me the details of your arrival, I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

“Chris, I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” I knew what she meant. If someone caught sight of us together at the airport, or even the fact that she was here in Boston, all hell would break loose in the press.

“Shhh, don’t worry about it, baby girl. I’ll take care of it.” I froze, only then realizing what I had just called her. A few seconds ticked by while I silently freaked out, wondering how I could brush this over, when she intervened.

“Thanks, Chris. That was pretty much the best thing I’ve ever heard. I just might forgo my prescription medicine while I’m over there, because you’ve been able to completely relax me with just two sentences.” She giggled and if I was at first leaning towards thinking she was sarcastically teasing me, just by the nature of her words, the tone of her voice made it clear that she actually meant what she had just said.

Once again, I was at a loss for words, especially because I couldn’t help but to allow myself to imagine that this was her, flirting with me a little bit. The blood I so desperately needed in my brain had once again left to pump another organ full of life. I was saved from having to answer, though, as Y/N quickly wrapped up the conversation.

“I’ll text you the details of my flight in a little bit. See you soon, angel.” She hung up before I could process the nickname she had given me. 

“Fucking hell,” I whispered, finally relenting and getting up from the couch to take a shower to rub one off.

I had found myself in this situation more times than usual after meeting Y/N. Normally, I’d only do it out of boredom, preferring to fuck someone whenever I’d get sexually frustrated. But the last few times I had taken girls from parties into my bedroom, I could only see her. Y/N. And I hated how disgusting I felt after it was done, the fact that I didn’t care about the girl I just fucked and the fact that I imagined my younger friend.

So now I resorted to this kind of activity. As the warm water started to hit my body, I allowed my right hand to travel the extent of my body until I found my hardened member. “Fuck,” I found myself whispering into the bathroom as I tugged on my cock. Images that I had spent a lot of time concocting in my head flashed in front of me, all of them starred by Y/N. 

I imagined her nude body here with me, under the falling water. How her breasts would heave with every breath she took. Would she be as filled with desire for me as I was for her? I imagined the path the warm droplets of water would run across her skin and how I wished I could lick its remnants. 

Maybe she’d fall to her knees before me, looking up from under her eyelashes with that coy expression that drove me crazy. Her lips would softly kiss the tip of my cock and she’d still be watching me, analyzing my reactions. I would do my best to restrain myself, allowing her to get accustomed to my member, but my hands would eventually find their way to her wet strands, creating a makeshift ponytail that would facilitate my vision of her work while I still managed to control myself and not use it to guide her.

She’d kiss the skin all around my cock, quick little kisses just to tease me before going further down to suck on my balls. I’d throw my head back, begging her to do what I needed, and she’d finally succumb, wrapping her lips around my tip before slowly sucking further down my dick. She’d be relentless, eventually being able to swallow my whole member down her throat, and I would look down again to see her looking up at me with a proud gaze in her eyes.

“Such a good girl,” I would whisper, just before I finally snapped, using my grip on her hair to pull her from my cock until just the tip remained tightly squeezed by her lips, until I pushed her all the way against me again. “Take this fucking cock like the little perfect girl you are for daddy.”

And she’d take it like a pro, a satisfied smile on her lips as I fucked her mouth, eventually breaching into her throat, making her gasp for air, tears in her eyes as her hands flew to my hips in an attempt to slow me down. But she wouldn’t really, opting for simply carving her nails on my flesh as she took every single rope of cum I’d deposit between her eager lips.

Fuck. I let the water wash away the sin I had just committed while sending up a prayer for better control when Y/N arrived. The last thing I needed was to be stuck in the bathroom, touching myself while she was at my house.

[dragon-kazansky]

The song in our hearts

Lestat De Lioncourt x Female Reader

A musician with a heart that sings and an admirer who wishes to see his songbird thrive. Two beings in different worlds get caught up in each other when someone threatens to steal his songbird's spotlight. Loving Lestat isn't simple, and your life will never be the same again. What is eternity without chaos?

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Chapter Five - Dark truths

You didn't sleep at all that night. You didn't leave the house all day either. You didn't even answer the door when Amelie and Jack came over to see how you were.

They knew Noah was missing. They didn't know he was dead.

When Friday came around and no one had seen you, Jack came to the house again. He pleaded with you to come and tell him what had happened. He asked where Noah was, but you didn't answer him. You didn't come out at all.

That night the show went on without you.

Lestat had been sitting in his box waiting for you to come on, but when the piano never got wheeled onto the stage, he knew he had messed up. Revealing to you what he was like that had not been what he wanted. He should have been more careful, but Noah was angering him. That meaningless man ruined your performance.

Lestat couldn't take it any more. With Noah gone you would be able to shine. Lestat would have done things differently. You were different.

The vampire didn't stick around to watch the end of the show. Your usual slot came and went and he knew you weren't going to perform tonight.

He went to your home.

I'm outside, Chéri.

Nothing.

Please let me in.

Lestat knew you were inside and he longed to see you. He wanted to hear your voice and see your face. He wanted to reach out and hold you to him. He wanted to explain things properly.

You refused to come outside.

His voice was in your head and it was pricing you crazy. How can his voice be in your head like that? Was he really a monster or were you too freaked out and messed up to comprehend anything?

You were afraid.

I know you can hear me. You have no reason to fear me. Harming you is the last thing I could ever want.

You don't believe him. He knows it too.

Lestat looks up at your window with longing. He yearns for you. He needs you. He wants you.

Please. 

The door opens. Lestat finds himself looking at you. You're a disheveled mess and he can see the fear in your eyes. He doesn't move.

“I am sorry you found out the way you did.”

“What do you mean…?” You ask cautiously.

“Me being a vampire.”

You shake your head quickly. “Vampires aren't real.”

“Oh, but we are.” He smiles at you.

You stare at him in disbelief. Was this man crazy? Oh no… you had been to his house! The house of a crazy person!

Lestat can hear your internal struggle and shakes his head. He steps a little closer. “Listen, Chéri, I am real. I am here. I want you.”

“Why? Why me?” You want to hide back inside your house, but you also want answers.

“You are… everything.”

You don't know what he means by that. Nothing is making sense to you. You can't help feeling like he's dangerous.

“I am dangerous.”

“Stop doing that! Stop… reading my mind!”

Lestat chuckles softly. “From the moment I first heard you play I knew I had to have you. You, Chéri, are everything and more. Talent like yours is hard to find in this world. It also helps you're the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes upon… Well, second to myself.” He winks at you.

He's trying to calm you down. You can tell he's telling the truth. Though you're not sure how much you can trust him.

“Do you not want a taste? To walk alongside the unknown?” He is feeding into your curiosity, luring you in. 

You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head. “How do I know you won't just kill me like you did to Noah?”

“That useless man had it coming. He was abusing your talents with his awful voice. He wanted to use you for his own gain in the hope of using your popularity at the theater to get famous. Well, anyone who truly approaches music would know he had no talent whatsoever.” Lestat scoffs.

“He really is dead…?”

“Oui.”

You let out a shaky breath. “Oh God. Oh God! What do I tell Jack?” You pull at your hair.

“Tell him nothing,” Lestat says, coming a little closer to your door. “Noah has left the country as far as anyone is concerned. He had no relatives here, no actual influence on anyone. He's gone. Let me help you soar.”

You look into his eyes. He's looking at you tenderly. You want to believe he's being genuine, but is he?

“I wrote you a song…” Is what you say.

Lestat stares at you in mild confusion and surprise. “You wrote me a song?”

“I did… I was inspired after my visit to your home… and I couldn't shake you from my head.”

He grins. “Is that so?”

You nod. “You… You're like a headache I can't shift. Even when I put you out of my mind, you return later. Your name is always on the end of my tongue. I look for you every Friday night in your box. I sit at my piano and I hope with all my might that my music is enough for you. Why do I care so much about what you think?”

Lestat smiles. “Perhaps because you know I appreciate your art.”

You look at him in wonder. “Is that the case? Or are you just saying that to make me trust you?”

He sighs. “You're making this very difficult.”

“You killed Noah!” You say a little too loudly.

Lestat covers your mouth with his hand. You groan and bite his fingers. He removes his hand and grins. “If you're into biting, I can help.”

You worry if you roll your eyes too hard they'll fall out the sockets. “I need time…”

Lestat lifts his chin up a little bit. “Very well. Time.” He steps away from your door. “But please don't take too long.” He walks away.

Once he's out of sight you close your door and lean against it.

The next Friday you return to the theater and try to ignore the stares from other performers. However, Amelie and Jack could not be ignored. You would have to face them, which was why you had come up with a story. A lie. Lying to the two people who looked after you all these years felt so wrong, but telling the truth would be worse.

They cornered you in your dressing room. Jack had a whole speech for you, telling you he was so worried and he didn't know if he needed ro contact a doctor for you. You let him speak before deciding to tell them the story you had come up with.

“Noah is gone. He left. We had a huge fight and it got out of control.”

“Did he hurt you?” Amelie asks, coming to sit beside you.

“No. Not physically anyway. Just my pride,” you assure her. There was some truth to that at least.

“Why didn't you say anything?” Jack asks, looking at you like a wounded puppy.

“It was my mess. I didn't want everyone to get involved. Noah was using me for his own advantage and I had had enough. I play solo, Jack. No more duets.” You look at him firmly.

“Understood.”

“I was so worried about you! You wouldn't even answer the door…” Amelie looks at you sadly.

“I'm sorry… I just had a lot to deal with.” You give her a hug.

Jack sighs and looks at you fondly. “I should have been more firm with him. Your sponsor hasn't made a donation since…”

“No. I suppose he hasn't. Is my slot still open?” You ask.

“Of course it is!” He assures you.

You smile. “Then I'll be back to playing for you. Tonight too soon?”

“Not at all.”

With all that out of the way the two leave you alone to get ready. You sigh deeply and prepare to face the music once more.

Lestat didn't appear in his box that night. Nor the Friday after, or the one after that. In fact, for the next 2 months he did not appear inside the theater. He did, however, send donations to Jack. He stopped sending gifts to your dressing room too.

Still, you couldn't shake him from your brain.

As you went into month 3 without seeing him or hearing from him, you had begun to miss him. If Lestat had wanted to harm you, surely he would have done so by now. He has plenty of chances to.

You decided to write him a small letter. You had it delivered to his house, not feeling brave enough to go there yourself.

You had chosen to forgive him.

Come to the theater Friday night. Your box is waiting for you.

It was all you could think to do to get him to return to you. As you stood off to the side of the stage waiting for your turn, you felt terribly nervous. You almost felt like you were struggling to breathe. You had sent Amelie out to check the boxes. She seemed to be taking her time.

You had moments to go before it was your turn. Amelie appeared beside you. “What took you so long?”

“Mr De Lioncourt invited me to talk to him. He asked me to give you this.” She holds up the rose. You stare at it, mesmerized by the deep red color of its petals. You take it from her gently.

“This is for me?”

She nods. “He told me he was happy you had asked him to come back. Did you two fight too?”

“Sort of…” You reply softly, still looking at the rose.

“Well, he's glad to hear you perform again.”

“Good. Tonight is going to be special.”

Amelie wasn't sure why it would be special, but she was just happy to see you back where you belong.

Your name is called. You take a deep breath and walk out onto the stage, rose in hand. You lift your head up, but ignore the audience. Your eyes drift up to his box. Lestat is sitting there, smiling at you.

You're wearing the necklace he gave you months ago. You're clutching the rose in your hand. You're looking at him.

Lestat knows you've forgiven him.

You take a seat at your piano and place the rose down where normally the music sheets would go, but you don't need them. You're only going to play one song tonight.

His song.

You begin. Lestat's ears are blessed with a melody new to him. An arrangement he has never heard before. He doesn't need to read your mind to know this is the song you wrote for him.

He's completely enamored with you.

There's a depth to your song. Without words he can understand what you're trying to say. He knows why you wrote this piece.

You felt something that night.

Perhaps the same thing he felt for you.

He wouldn't deny it.

The music ends too soon for his liking. He watches you with keen eyes as you take a bow and exit the stage. He didn't want your music to end. Lestat rose from his seat and left the box. He had to see you.

Jack wanted to question why you only played one song, but you didn't give him time to even get the question out. You went to your dressing room and waited.

The door opened moments later. You stood from your dressing table and watched Lestat approach you. He closed the door behind him, keeping out the outside world.

“That song…” He started. “Was it for me?”

“Yes. Did you like it?”

Lestat smiled as he slowly closed the distance between you both. You felt like your breathing was too loud, that he could probably hear your heart beating too.

I can.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?” He asks, grinning.

“Get in my head.”

He chuckles. “It's one of the many things I can show you.” He holds out his hand to you. It's an invitation into his life. An invitation into the night.

You take his hand.

Lestat smiles and pulls you in close. “do you trust me?”

“We'll see.”

For now, that's enough for him.

@awanderingghost @theprettiesthead @cosmixstar @theblueslytherin @katherine2098 @sawendel @floofdeloop @sitkafay @bigbaddie45 @bluscryn

@secretisme4

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hi ! So I had an idea for a Matthew Patel x reader fanfic, where the reader is playing Ramona in his Scott Pilgrim musical, and when they have to kiss for the play, in front of the whole theatre, they see sparks, but can't talk about it until the play is over. Like realizing they're in love or something, I hope I explained it well- thanks<3

"🎶 Howwww do I tell him my exes are evil?🎶"

Standing alone on the stage, you sang your heart out to the adoring audience, the spotlight shining down upon you and your dyed rainbow hair.

You weren't even nervous about performing for Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Musical anymore. Everything seemed to come naturally the moment it came time for your soliloquy as Ramona Flowers.

Indeed, for the play you were starring as her, with your first solo number being an emotional lament on the inevitability of Scott fighting all seven of the evil exes in order to date you freely.

It seemed silly when you read the script for the first time...but now?

You were absolutely killing it, as you could hear a few cheers from the crowd.

Even Ramona herself was sitting there, looking quite entertained by your reenactment of her...whereas the real Scott Pilgrim was right next to her, appearing the exact opposite. He just seemed really confused and annoyed..

But you couldn't blame him for feeling somewhat mocked considering he was presumed dead after his fight with Matthew--only to suddenly come back without much of an explanation and realize this musical was all about him.

Speaking of whom, he probably felt more insulted by Ramona's actual first evil ex starring as him, wearing his coat and a ridiculous orange wig that hardly looked anything like his own hair.

Nevertheless, his other friends and all the Exes seemed to be genuinely enjoying the show. Some even teared up at your incredible acting skills and moving singing voice.

Among them was Matthew, who was hanging out backstage and preening himself until it was time for his cue.

You two have been friends for a long time, even before he knew the League was something that existed. Being theatre kids, you two were more than eager to get this musical to take off..and maybe get it on Broadway itself if the opening night was received well.

So far..it was being received extremely well. Every other actor knew their lines and sang flawlessly, putting their heart and soul into each performance just as you and Matthew did.

Although....there were a few minor hiccups--such as the part where him, Scott, Ramona, some of their friends, and the remaining Exes were all mysteriously warped out of the theater by a red portal. But they eventually returned and everyone figured it was part of the play, so it continued on without a hitch.

During one of the final acts, there was a "special" scene planned that you and Matthew have only 99% rehearsed...

Because the other 1% had to be done right the first time. It was the most highly-anticipated part of this musical:

The kiss.

One that proved Ramona truly loved Scott, forever securing their happily ever after.

When it came time for the scene, the stage darkened everywhere, with the light only shining down on you and "Scott". He took a deep breath as he turned to you, taking your hands into his own, wearing a gentle smile.

You both stared into each other's eyes for a long time, soft piano music playing in the background.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, as was Matthew's as you two tried to focus on your line delivery and nothing else.

"Ramona?"

"Yes, Scott?"

"...I love you."

"I love you, too. You saved me. Saved our relationship..and I could never thank you enough."

"Hah, I should be the one thanking you...because I finally stood up for myself, and for us!"

"Oh, Scott.."

At that point, some of the spectators began to chant for the kiss--with Wallace being the loudest, of course--and you could only smile bashfully, not realizing how fast this part came up until now.

Yet for some reason, Matthew appeared unusually nervous, red rising to his cheeks as he squeezed your hands rather tightly. You didn't know why he was acting this way, considering you've seen him do kiss scenes in past plays.

But you figured that since this was his first major theater performance, he was only nervous about wanting everything to be perfect. So you gave him a reassuring nod that said "it's okay, you can do this."

Fortunately, he seemed to understand, as a moment later he pulled you into a passionate kiss, lips crashing against yours.

The volume of the applause and cheering grew tenfold; some people even gave you a standing ovation even though the play was nowhere near over.

They loved it.

They absolutely loved it.

And honestly? You kinda liked kissing Matthew in front of everybody, partially wishing this wasn't just for the play..

But while the special effects team went to work recreating the "spark phenomenon" with glitter, confetti, and more....there was something going on between you and him that nobody else could see:

The real sparks that manifested after you both parted.

Your heart jumped into your throat as you watched them fade away, before looking at him.

Judging from his face, you knew that he most definitely saw them, too.

You've been skeptical of the sparks in the past, as you've dated several people yet never saw them at all.

So...why were you only seeing them now? And why with Matthew, of all people?

Did it have something to do with you dressing up like his ex-girlfriend?

Or was he finally looking beyond that curtain and discovering that he actually loved you?

Regardless, now wasn't the time to be thinking about any of that stuff, as you noticed he was slowly going off-script...something that you've never seen happen before. His hands shook and he seemed to forget his mic was still on.

"S-Sparks.." He stammered out, still giving you a wide-eyed stare.

"I...guess there were sparks, after all." You hastily salvaged the situation with a small laugh, putting your improv skills to work. "I never believed in such things until I met you, Scott Pilgrim."

After the lights dimmed, the cheering persisted as you grabbed his hand and half-dragged him backstage. By that point he seemed to have snapped out of his trance, deciding to scramble to prepare for the final musical number with everyone in the cast coming out.

But despite him returning to his snippy attitude with the makeup artists, he could barely look your way without blushing immensely...and quite frankly, you couldn't get rid of your smile.

'Shit..he's in love with me, I just know it..' You sighed as you sat comfortably in the chair, letting the wardrobe crew swap your dyed wig with a different colored one.

As badly as you both wanted to talk about what just happened...you knew it had to wait.

For the show must go on.

........

After the musical was finished, you changed your outfit and searched around backstage for Matthew, hoping you could finally discuss the sparks you both saw.

Soon you stumbled upon him, Gideon, and Julie...and for a moment, you were nervous.

Considering what happened between the two guys, you figured all hell was about to break loose--and apparently it almost did during the play since Gideon rigged the overhead area with dynamite. It was out of pure revenge for all of his assets being taken.

Yet it seems all was forgiven as they hugged it out, laughing with tears in their eyes, before Gideon and Julie walked away hand-in-hand.

Now that Matthew was finally alone, you had your chance.

"Since when did you two become besties?"

With a small yelp, he spun around quickly, relaxing as he realized it was only you. "Oh! Uh..no. I just...decided to give him back the company, and he let me keep the musical." He grinned, although it appeared rather forced. "That's all."

"I see.." You sighed, stepping closer to him. "Listen, we need to talk about-"

"I know." He answered bluntly. "I....saw them, too. And those weren't any special effects. They were legit."

"...are you sure about that?"

Matthew looked taken aback, as he just gawked at your question.

"Let me rephrase that," you cleared your throat. "I confess that I saw them because of you. The real you. But..I don't know if you saw them because of the real me."

"...I'm not following."

"Did you only see them because I looked like you ex-girlfriend?"

"N-No!" He nearly shouted, his cheeks flaring red as his stare remained intense. "I've moved on from her, I swear!"

Part of you remained skeptical yet. "I may need some convincing."

Before he could ask you why, you interrupted him by bringing him into a kiss this time. It initially shocked him, but he quickly melted into it, cupping your face in both of his hands.

Just like before, the sparks were there. Not as brilliant or explosive as the first time...yet they were all the proof you two needed.

Now you knew for sure that your love was real and true.

Matthew was quick to pull you back in for one more kiss after seeing them, desperate and wanting you as close as physically possible.

It probably would have escalated into a full-blown makeout session had you not heard the voices of the other Exes drawing nearer.

You immediately parted and saw them all standing there, looking utterly shocked at what they were witnessing. But you had no shame, instead smiling and waving to them as you held his hand.

"Great news, guys...G-Man's not the only one with a hot date anymore." You winked to your new boyfriend, whose ears turned red with embarrassment.

The group then smiled back, happy for your new relationship and trusting that you'll treat him with all the love and respect he deserved.

Before either of you knew it, you were being carried out of the theatre on the shoulders of Todd and Lucas, while the rest of the gang--along with Scott and Ramona--followed suit, eager to celebrate the play's success.

But tonight wasn't just about that.

It was also about what the future held in store for you and Matthew.

[camellia-thea]

so @coprinellus-cluster sent me an ask about daniel and armand and why i find them so compelling. that turned into a 2000 word essay. this is very armand focused, but i promise i love daniel too.

anne rice initially wrote armand as an antagonist, and even went into writing qotd with him intended to be part of the antagonistic force, however she found while writing the devil's minion chapter that armand had become someone completely different. i love that. i love that a lot. i have sources for this somewhere but they're buried. i'll add 'em if i find them again.

i love how the chapter takes two characters who had very little identity beyond their interaction with louis and lestat. daniel was functionally exclusively a framing device in the first book. he didn't really have a character, and he literally was not named. armand was defined almost entirely by his relationships, and while his sections have always been my favourite parts of iwtv and tvl, i think there was a lack of depth there that gets discussed so much more in the devil's minion chapter.

armand is a character who has always defined himself by the people around him. from marius, to santino, to the children of darkness, to lestat, to the théâtre des vampires, to louis. each link ushers in a different aspect of himself, and the show deals with the amazingly well. the arun/amadeo/armand, the good nurse or the gremlin, it's phenomenal. daniel in the books is meant to be the next part of the transition. armand goes to both lestat and louis, show me how to live in this modern era.

"We cannot be Marius for you," I said, "or the dark lord, Santino[…]" "You have to suffer through this emptiness," I said, "and find what impels you to continue. If you come with us we will fail you and you will destroy us." "How suffer through it?" [Armand] looked up at me and his eyebrows came together in the most poignant frown. "How do I begin? You move like the right hand of God! But for me the world, the real world in which Marius lived, is beyond reach. I never lived in it. I push against the glass. But how do I get in?" "I can't tell you that," I said. "You have to study this age, " Gabrielle interrupted. Her voice was calm but commanding. He looked towards her as she spoke. "You have to understand the age, " she continued, "through its literature and its music and its art. You have come up out of the earth, as you yourself put it. Now live in the world. " [...] "And what better place is there than the center of things, the boulevard and the theater? " Gabrielle asked. He frowned, his head turning dismissively, but she pressed on. "Your gift is for leading the coven, and your coven is still there."

from the vampire lestat

this conversation you can see is what leads him to approach louis for the same thing.

["]It is through you that I can save myself from the despair which I’ve described to you as our death. It is through you that I must make my link with this nineteenth century and come to understand it in a way that will revitalize me, which I so desperately need. It is for you that I’ve been waiting at the Théâtre des Vampires. If I knew a mortal of that sensitivity, that pain, that focus, I would make him a vampire in an instant. But such can rarely be done. No, I’ve had to wait and watch for you. And now I’ll fight for you. Do you see how ruthless I am in love? Is this what you meant by love?["]

from interview with the vampire

(i do think the little "if i found a mortal with that sensitivity, that pain, that focus, i would make him a vampire in an instant", but that's not the point of this)

armand is a creature of habit, of cycles, and daniel is meant to be the next member of the loop. he uses daniel in the exact same fashion, to usher himself into the new era;

"You are my teacher," Armand told him. "You will tell me everything about this century. I am learning secrets already that have eluded me since the beginning. You'll sleep when the sun rises, if you wish, but the nights are mine."

from queen of the damned

but, something changes with daniel. and i think it is what is missing from louis; daniel has a passion for life and living that louis lacks. he's interviewing people to reveal their lives!

suddenly armand is not being ushered into the new era, he's living it. you get his excitement, his delight, his engagement. he is no longer detached from the world in the way that he is in the first two novels. he is bright and full of life.

daniel remarks a few times about how armand's laughter and delight makes him suddenly look mortal. i find it enthralling. how this one mortal, who's life purpose initially is revealing the lives of people around him to the world, brings the 500 year old vampire joy and delight and that joy stays.

i love that this mortal man could bring anne rice to completely change her perception of armand.

and on daniel's part, he is utterly fascinating. he falls in love with the monster chasing him, for his monstrosity.

Daniel stared hard at the creature before him, this thing that looked human and sounded human but was not. There was a horrid shift in his consciousness; he saw this being like a great insect, a monstrous evil predator who had devoured a million human lives. And yet he loved this thing. He loved its smooth white skin, its great dark brown eyes. He loved it not because it looked like a gentle, thoughtful young man, but because it was ghastly and awful and loathsome, and beautiful all at the same time. He loved it the way people love evil, because it thrills them to the core of their souls. Imagine, killing like that, just taking life any time you want it, just doing it, sinking your teeth into another and taking all that that person can possibly give. Look at the garments he wore. Blue cotton shirt, brass-buttoned denim jacket. Where had he gotten them? Off a victim, yes, like taking out his knife and skinning the kill while it was still warm? No wonder they reeked of salt and blood, though none was visible. And the hair trimmed just as if it weren't going to grow out within twenty-four hours to its regular shoulder length. This is evil. This is illusion. This is what I want to be, which is why I cannot stand to look at him. Armand's lips had moved in a soft, slightly concealed smile. And then his eyes had misted and closed. He had bent close to Daniel, pressed his lips to Daniel's neck.

from queen of the damned

this passage has lived in my mind since i first read queen of the damned. daniel loves armand in spite of his beauty, not because of it. it is the monstrosity that he loves. and it's exactly what armand needs. their relationship has such a push-pull dynamic as well. daniel up and leaving when they have fights, armand waiting him out before reappearing. armand and daniel’s relationship is a direct link to addiction, which i think is really interesting. daniel is quite literally addicted to armand and that’s something i think is really interesting when it comes to mortal relationships with vampires.

there’s also something in the power dynamics between them with armand exerting control over daniel through finances, but it’s really interesting because daniel is rich. he got a lot of money from publishing interview. armand gets him so many things, buys him houses and clothes and a fucking island, and daniel lets him. and i don’t necessarily think daniel has the capacity to really say no here, but it really does make their dynamic super interesting.

i think daniel gives armand the potential to be more than who he was made to be, the roles he was put into. the muse, the protégé, the cult leader, the coven member, he lingers in his own victimhood, and i think it’s a very interesting thing. daniel is an escape from that. daniel loves the vampire, loves the monster, and doesn’t necessarily want something from armand beyond being pulled into vampirism with him. and that is something that armand very distinctly has control to say no to. and i think that’s very important to armand.

"Tell me what you want, Daniel, and I'll get it for you. Why do you keep running away?" "Lies, you bastard. Say that you wanted me. You'll torment me forever, won't you, and then you'll watch me die, and you'll find I that interesting, won't you? It was true what Louis said. You watch them die, your mortal slaves, they mean nothing to you. You'll watch the colors change in my face as I die." "That's Louis's language," Armand said patiently. "Please don't quote that book to me. I'd rather die than see you die, Daniel." "Then give it to me! Damn you! Immortality that close, as close as your arms." "No, Daniel, because I'd rather die than do that, too."

from queen of the damned

this is another moment that lives in my head, i’d rather die than do that too. there is something so electric between them. how willing daniel is to give in to armand, and yet how willing he is to fight for it, for them. i don’t read daniel’s obsession with vampirism being entirely for himself by the end of the era. i truly think that there is an element of it so that he can remain with armand.

but there’s something else there too, that i don’t think the other relationships we see in the vampire chronicles really capture, and that is the mundanity that they relish in together. they go out together, to clubs, to performances, to museums and art galleries, to bars and to rock concerts, but they also experience life together in a way that lestat and louis don’t really convey when narrating their novels. daniel and armand have made a life together, and it’s weird and unconventional but it works. they have houses together, the little villa on night island, it’s just. genuine. it has all the trappings of the unhealthy, awful nature that a mortal and vampire relationship can be, and simultaneously they’ve managed to create something that is domestic. and i don’t think daniel leaving armand, and often the country they were in, necessarily negates it. they’re not good people, it’s not a good relationship, but it’s enough.

and armand does love daniel enough to turn him. that’s a significant part of it. when he is legitimately faced with daniel’s death, he cannot bear the idea of losing him.

and. there’s a bigger part too. daniel is what stops armand from wanting to die.

"Years ago," Armand interrupted, "it wouldn't have mattered to me, all this." "What do you mean?" "But I don't want it to end now. I don't want to continue unless you-" His face changed slightly. Faint look of surprise. "I don't want you to die."

from queen of the damned

daniel has fundamentally changed armand. armand does not want to die. and he does not want to live without daniel.

and it’s awful, and yet it’s enthralling. there was never going to be an outcome in which daniel did not die. it is the fate of any mortal, and most immortals as well. and i think they both knew that. and that’s the tragedy of it too, the beautiful, horrific nature of them both is that armand was always going to be the one who killed daniel, and the only question was whether daniel would remain afterwards.

and i think that armand was never going to let daniel go.

daniel and armand love each other, and i think rice did a disservice to them both by setting them aside in later books, but i won't go into that here.

[maevstar]

| Introducing myself in my fame dr ᯓᡣ𐭩

ᝰ. My name is Maeve Amelie Solace, but people usually call me by “Mae”.

ᝰ. I’m 26yo and I’m an A-list american actress and singer. (I was born in 1997 but I didn’t turned 27 yet).

ᝰ. I started my way on acting when I was 16 when my older brother was doing a play on high school and begged me to participate. I did, and since then I’ve been in love with acting.

ᝰ. When I graduated from high school i moved out from my hometown — Austin, Texas — to LA and entered to UCLA School of Theater.

ᝰ. My first big project in Hollywood was “The Edge of Seventeen” when I was 19-20yo, before that I just worked with small projects, mostly from my uni.

ᝰ. That project gave me more visibility in the industry and I became more well known.

ᝰ. Some of my films: The Edge of Seventeen, The School for Good and Evil (adaptation of the books), Lady bird, Scream 4 (2018), Little Woman, Causeway, We Live in a Time, Challengers, Me Before You, Glass Onion 2, Duna, Anyone but You, Don’t look up, No hard feelings, Don’t worry darling, The outrun, and etc.

ᝰ. Some of my shows: Supernatural (Claire Novak), Looking for Alasca, YOU, outer banks (season 4).

ᝰ. I’ve been nominated for the Oscar 4 times as the best Actress in a Leading Role, but I’m just gonna win the award in the 4th time (2024). Futhermore, i’ve won a lot of awards and nominations like Emmy’s and Golden Globes. In 2022, I entered the list of The Most Influential People by Time Magazine.

Now, my singer career:

ᝰ. My mom is a country singer — not much known — in Texas, so I’ve grew up loving music, and I’ve been writing songs since I was 15, but these never turned into real songs, until 2019-2020, when I recorded my EP’s.

ᝰ. My first EP is called “Minor” and it has 7 songs. I released it in 2019 just for fun, was some songs that I’ve been writing during the years. In 2020 I released more 2 EPs, called “Bittersweet” and “Good Riddance”, with 7 and 10 songs respectively, again, just for fun.

ᝰ. Now, my new coming up project on music is my first Album, called “The Secret Of Us”, it has 13 songs (+ 7 from deluxe) and all of them will have a music video, cause my objective is making a visual album.

ᝰ. With my new album, I intend to go on my first tour.

Fun facts about me:

ᝰ. I know ballet and gymnastics cause when my sister was 8 years old she wanted to learn but was scared to do it alone, so I used to go to classes with her.

ᝰ. I have 3 siblings, Will, Kayla and Austin. Will is 2 years older than me, Kayla is younger than me 4 years and Austin is 8 years younger than me. (Another fun fact is that Austin is adopted).

ᝰ. My s/o is Drew Starkey, I met him in a party at Maddie Cline’s house (2021). Also, Madelyn is my best friend and I’m very close to the cast of the outer banks too.

ᝰ. I’m in fact brazilian. I was born there but my family moved to the US when I was 8 — my father is brazilian but my mom is from us, she was in a trip when met my dad in brazil and blablabla — so I have dual nationality. (latinas are better lol). But when I was 14, I moved again to Brazil and lived there for almost 2 years with my aunt before I came back to US.

ᝰ. When I was 16, I made a YouTube channel with my brother Will and we used to talk about the most random things ever (btw it was a flop lol, this channel just came up when we became famous). (another fun fact is that he is also a well known actor, but more on theater plays than on screen).

ᝰ. When I was in high school, I was planning on going to med school — mostly because of my dad, he’s a doctor (my obsession with greys anatomy might got me inclined to that too🤭) — but then I fell in love with acting (when I was 16, like i said) and never quit. Besides that, I’m still very interested with things related to science and human body, stuff like that; most of things that I know are bc of my dad tho.

ᝰ. I’m polyglot. I speak Portuguese, English, Italian, Spanish and a bit of French and Latin. I also know ASL.

ᝰ. I still don’t know how to ride bikes without training wheels cause no one ever taught me (😭).

ᝰ. I love the sea, beaches, everything related to that, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.

mood boards; mood boards details;

─────── ୨ৎ ───────

[faewoozi]

streetlights in the dark blue --- 18+

summary: you met seokmin in college, and in the beginning you were pretty sure you'd strangle him. but then he asked you out. everyone said marrying the goofy guy you met freshman year of college was insane. that someone better would come along for the both of you. by senior year you hated to admit that perhaps everyone had been right. since he just…disappeared. like you didn't mean anything to him. maybe you never did.

♡ pairing: theater major!dk x fem!reader

♡ genre: non!idol au, college into post college au, fluff, angst, some slight supernatural/sci-fi elements, smut ( probably more fluff than anything else though because dk really brings that out in me & angst because I have a crying myself to sleep at night kink )

♡ word count: roughly 8.5k or so

♡ this work feats: piv sex, unprotected sex, angst, some crying, being ghosted, oral ( giving and receiving ), fingering. let me know what i missed.

a/n: i was listening to abstract (psychopomp ) by hozier and i know it's about roadkill and all that but something about the lyrics + general tone of the song made me think of this. and who better to love you across the universe than lee seokmin? also now I have an idea for Hoshi x telepathy so this might become a thing. also i proofread this like once. so there's that.

"I'm Seokmin." You glanced up from your physiology book at the tall guy hovering near the edge of your table in the library. It was raining outside so the place was packed, where normally people would be studying on the plush lawns of the quad, they were all crowded inside whispering loudly and laughing louder. You'd rather be anywhere else but your roommate had a guy over and the common rooms were even more crowded with people. At least here in the library people were pretending to study, so if it got too loud you could tell them to hush within reason.

"Uh…so?" You hadn't meant for it come out so harsh. The ear splitting grin he wore slowly melted from his face and an awkward silence threatened to overtake you both but he just licked his lips and sat down leaning across the table conspiratorially and to your surprise not deterred at all.

"This is the part where you tell me your name." Seokmin said waving his hand in front of him. Was he serious? You didn't even know him.

"My name is please go away you're distracting me from studying." You responded reaching for your phone to turn your music up in the one headphone you wore.

"Nice to meet you, can I call you distraction for short? I just need a table to sit at. I was sitting with my friends but I'm gonna flunk this monologue thing if I stay over there any longer. I thought this might be the place to sit in order to memorize my monologue and it’s like the only empty table around here which is kind of weird. Because why has no else tried to sit here? Oh well. Hey if I'm bothering you I can leave." Wow he was talking, a lot. Your brow furrowed as you stared him down and slowly his chattering fizzled out. He pursed his lips, gave a small smile and opened the chapbook on the table in front of him purposefully avoiding your gaze. 

“In a week…when the flesh grows cold…” Two minutes in and you realized he was reading the words aloud to himself. You glanced up irritably from your book ready to snap at him but took notice of his red rimmed eyes and blatant sniffling as he continued to read in a whispery shaky voice.

"Are you crying?" You questioned in disbelief and he jumped, staring at you wide eyed and then he burst into nervous laughter.

"We're doing romance scenes for my monologue class. Some of the examples in this book are just so ugh…read this." He pushed the chapbook over to you, and your eyes ghosted along the first few lines of the page.

"I have a confession. I've never been in love. So I'm really going to have to tap into the acting for this assignment, and I don't know, the idea of loving someone so much that you'd rather lie down in a field and rot with them instead of being apart is…it's nice. It’s heartwarming. It seems morbid, but the real romance of it is that there's someone out there who'd hold my hand and leap into the unknown with me because if this guy can be so inspired as to write out such a thing then he can’t be the only one who finds romance in that right? Whether through death or something else…ah that's it I definitely have to memorize and read this one." He said with a wistful sigh, you stared at him. Clearly he was a sap but…sort of cute once you got past how much he was annoying you in the moment. Or maybe annoy was the wrong word, he was passionate. Unusual too and God could he talk, but he made it endearing somehow.

"Do you need help?" You asked, not entirely sure what had gotten into you. It's just, he said it all so sweet, and who wouldn't be a sucker for those shimmering brown eyes and ears he hadn't grown into yet? Who could hear words said by such a sweet voice and not have their heart flutter for just a second. You weren’t a monster after all.

As if to drive the point home his face lit up. He was all happy smiles and babbling excitedly about how much help he could use and how he couldn't thank you enough. Somehow you ended up in his dorm room out of the rain and the loud library because he was too embarrassed to practice in front of anyone. Which…sort of defeated the purpose but you decided not to tell him that, and somehow it wound up being one of the best nights of your college experience so far. Just him and you, reading romantic monologues together.

It was impossible to forget how after everyone he read he'd stare you down and ask in a completely serious tone. “Okay how did that one make you feel?"

At first you’d sort of shrug. But he wasn’t satisfied with that as an answer. “Do you feel moved when you hear me say it? Is it romantic or do I sound like an idiot? You have to give me constructive feedback because when I read this for my professor I want her to be a little bit in love with me afterwards or at least teary eyed. Then I know I’ve done a good job. Let’s go again!”

It went on for at least two hours and each time your feedback got better and better. Until finally he knelt down in front of you, your hand in his and said the words with so much conviction you were dumbfounded for a moment.

“Alright, how did that make you feel?” Seokmin asked still holding your hand, while catching his breath.

“Well. I guess it sort of felt like I was falling in love." You responded, heat creeping along the back of your neck.

“Really?!” He whooped in excitement. It didn't mean anything, or it wasn't supposed to mean anything. He was just someone you helped and now you knew him well enough to say hi around campus. But two weeks later after exchanging numbers and giving him your actual name, you returned to his dorm to find the place filled with flowers. His friends were holding signs, there was a whole song and dance number, all to ask you out. How he managed it so quickly you still don't know. But it had been enough, this sappy goofball was yours. And you were his.

"World's best distraction can I ask a favor?" Seokmin asked. You were laying on your bed in your brand new private dorm room. A room you'd snuck him in and out of no less than five times this week despite only just having moved in. He still had a roommate and most of the time Joshua kicked him out in sheer annoyance. In which case Seokmin would slink over to your building and pout until he was let in. It was way past “no visitors in the dorm” hours but you had managed to work out a system. If you timed it just right, you could get him out and have your RA none the wiser.

“If it’s about staying the night, no.” You replied highlighting a few definitions you wrote down in your notes earlier for class.

“You’re so mean. Who doesn’t want their boyfriend to spend the night?” Seokmin asked rolling over on the bed so that his face was smothered by one of your pillows.

“I don’t want to accidentally end up pregnant when I haven’t finished school yet.” You replied lowering your notes to stare at him being utterly dramatic.

“They make things to prevent that y’know….” He mumbled, voice sulky and childish.

“Have you met yourself? You’re literally so romantic it’s terrifying. Yesterday you wrote me a soliloquy about my hands. My freakin’ hands Min. This morning you kissed me twenty five and a half times, you did it again this afternoon and again an hour ago. You said you owed me because I made you happy 102 times last week but since we had class you couldn’t do all 102 at once. If I get anywhere near you while naked I’m liable to get you pregnant with how much love you have bursting out of you.”

���I still owe you the last twenty five and a half. I can start now?” Seokmin’s head popped up, his voice hopeful.

“Min…” He slumped back into the bed with a dramatic sigh.

“I’m sorry. That day when we first met and you were helping me with my monologues — all that romantic stuff. The sweeping kisses and loving poems, the impassioned expressions and worship of lovers. I was saying it all while staring at you. I was memorizing it all with your face etched in my brain as I said it, with your voice helping me along. And your smile kept making my heart skip a beat. So whenever I think about love, about having someone make me feel how all those epic sweeping grand monologues described —- it’s hard to keep it to myself. Because you are love personified in my brain I gue— oh!”

Seokmin yelped as you tugged him backwards onto his back. Before he could fully react your lips were pressing against his. His eyes went wide then completely relaxed as he leaned into the kiss. You pulled apart eventually, gasping for air. You realized with a start you were straddling him, his body very much responding to the intensity of your kiss.

“I love you.” He suddenly blurted out with wide eyes. He’d said it in a lot of different ways and gestures but he’d never said it like that before. It meant something wholly different when he uttered it now.

“Was there ever any doubt Min? You wrote me a thirty three page love letter last weekend and still had time to sticky note my car all over.” You teased leaning down to press your lips to his neck. “I love you too.” You murmured into his skin.

He took hold of your arms pushing you back to look you in the eye. He was slightly red, his hair mussed and his eyes shone with desire.

“Let me stay the night?” He pleaded, his eyes searching yours. You grinned.

“Ok.”

“How many kids do you want?” Seokmin asked lacing your fingers together. You two were cuddled up on the couch in the apartment he shared with his best friend Joshua.

You let out an exaggerated groan. “None right now. Or ever if you ask me again, that’s like five times today? What’s wrong with you?”

“I want to marry you so I thought I should start asking important questions.” Seokmin responded casually bringing your knuckles to his mouth and pressing a gentle kiss to them.

“We are literally twenty years old.” Your voice dripped sarcasm, it wasn’t like this was an unfamiliar idea to you. But Seokmin was always like this. Last week you had to gently break it to him that he had to stop giving all his stuff to Joshua, the two of you would not be moving in together. He took it hard for forty minutes then forgot about it as soon as you started holding his hand.

“I’m sorry, I know we’ve talked about how I have to stop doing that. Just, if I know you’re mine then why wait? Cultural convention be damned, so sorry for cursing. But the sentiment still stands. Why delay the inevitable when what we both want is to revel in the company of each other.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you doing one of those regency plays again? You’re talking weird.”

“Oh, you noticed. Dang I really thought I sold the gentleman scholar thing.” He said with a frown and you found yourself punching him in the arm. “Ow!”

“We talked about this! No shifts in vocabulary, weird accents, or method acting during serious conversations Min.”

“But baby how am I supposed to get better at this if I don’t use authentic situations?” He asked rubbing where you punched him with a pout.

“I’m not acting fodder for you, I’m your girlfriend.” You snapped rising to your feet.

His brow instantly furrowed. “Wait you’re mad at me for real.”

“Yes, I don’t like when you do that. I’m trying to set some boundaries with you about the weird questions and the marriage pressuring and you’re doing accents and playing a role. Instead of being my boyfriend which in those moments you need to be first.”

The hurt was all over Seokmin’s face for just an instant then it went completely neutral. Quite a feat for the most expressive person you knew. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how inconsiderate I was being.” He rose to his feet, suddenly his face was bright but it didn’t quite convince you.

“I’m hungry. I know you’re hungry. I’m going to go get us something to eat I’ll be right back.” He was already grabbing his keys from the table by the door.

“ Wait, Seokmin—“ Nope gone.

Like legitimately gone.

You waited one hour. Five. Ten. Apologetic texts were sent his way.Then angry ones. You went home. Every call went unanswered. Every text unread. Joshua said he hadn’t seen him but nothing of his was missing. Other than him and his car. You waited two days. Four. Eight. Thirteen. Your boyfriend fell off the face of the Earth without so much as a second thought towards you. You were terrified, you and Seokmin had fought before. About serious and silly things, but neither of you held long grudges. Even if he was angry, you knew him. He loved you. If you knew nothing else you knew this. He showed it in every single gesture, in every word and every action. He wouldn’t do this. Panic set in. Police stations and reports. Trying to question his parents but they were missing too. Their numbers blanked and their facebooks were archived. It was all so strange, had he been in witness protection or something this whole time?

Sixteen days. Akin to torture. Sleeping was impossible because you couldn’t stop worrying. Nothing about him for as long as you’d known him said he would do something like this. So you tossed and turned nightly, obsessing over every minor detail. He’d never done anything like this to you or anyone else you knew after some investigation. You were frantic and so had just decided to take a drastic course of action. Going up to his parents house. At least it would confirm something, but you had no idea if that would be good or bad.

You didn’t get the chance. Day seventeen and someone was beating hell against your door. You’d been on your own since last year not quite ready to leave the dorms, so whoever it was would have a ton of pissed folks at them if they didn’t stop.

You trudged to the door, yanking it open in irritation. And there he was. He looked…inconsolable. He kept trying to apologize through tears. He said it at least four dozen times. You were overwhelmed with relief. Anger didn’t come, not yet. You were just glad he was breathing and unscathed. You took his face into your hands frowning.

“Where did you go?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just let me stay here with you. In whatever way you’ll have me. Even if you hate me I’ll be okay just knowing you’re okay. We don’t have to get married soon. We can get married when we’re sixty eight if you want. Whatever you want. I’ll do whatever you want. Just keep me here with you.” He kept repeating it over and over, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into a tight hug. Impossible to reassure and he wore his guilt openly. Yet he still wouldn’t tell you the truth.

“I’m so happy!” Seokmin sang doing some old folksy shuffle. He was in some play set during the 1930s and had taken to method acting at random moments throughout the day.

“Please don’t do that weird shuffle dance while holding my box of bras.” You complained. Seokmin was in the process of gathering the last of your wardrobe from your dorm room, you had chosen to move in together this summer.

“I can’t help it. I have so much stuff I want to do together! We’ve never stood at the toaster watching our pop tarts cook while holding hands so I have that as number one on my list for tomorrow. Today I think the number one thing I have is…wait never-mind.”

“No, no, no if I have to hold hands while toasting pop tarts you have to tell me what the number one thing is today?” You mused. Seokmin rolled his eyes and then hid his face behind the bra box.

“Taking a shower together. We’ve never done that before.” You heard him mumble sheepishly.

“How were you planning on asking me that?!” You asked trying to hold back your laughter.

“I thought maybe I’d just take my shirt off and you’d be so turned on you’d follow me in there or something.” He shrugged nudging past you to drop the bra box into his backseat.

“That—I told you I really don’t like when you hang out with Soonyoung he’s the worst influence.” You teased.

“He gives solid advice! He was the one who suggested me broaching the subject of moving in together again and you agreed! So really this is all because of Soonyoungie, we owe him.”

You did a fake gagging noise. “Please don’t ever say that again.”

Seokmin shrugged. “Anyway are you ready to go home?” He asked waggling his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes but you were just as excited as he was. No more slumber parties for the two of you, you’d be entering into the real deal of cohabitation and you were looking forward to all the first you would enjoy together. But you were also a bit nervous.

Things with Seokmin were great but they could be better. You were still struggling with trusting him sometimes, ever since the seventeen day incident — in which he gave absolutely no logical explanation for his decision to ghost you for two and a half weeks. You tried to be as reassuring as you could that he could tell you the truth but he didn’t budge on it. Which allowed paranoia to creep in on your end, what was he hiding? But it happened over a year ago and nothing like that had ever happened again. Leaving your side seemed to be the last thing he wanted to do.

The bulk of the day went on and you were exhausted by the time evening rolled around. How he managed to have so much energy despite lugging boxes all day was beyond you but it was in his nature. While you were fighting for your life to stay awake he was literally prancing around the living room with your bra on his face pretending to be fly people as if he hadn’t been doing physical labor all day.

And of course you loved him for it.

“Can I fuck you baby?” Seokmin was pressed up against you, his mouth on your ear. His hand was on your hip and inching forward to the seam of your panties. You glanced at the clock — 3:22 am. You didn’t remember falling asleep and you had no idea if Seokmin had even been in bed when you got in. But he was now. You could feel his cock pressed against your butt as he kissed down the side of your neck. “You’re tired I know, I’m just really happy you’re here with me.”

“I’m happy too. I’m glad we finally did this.” You responded trying very hard to ignore him creeping even closer to you somehow. You were certain if he could live inside you permanently he wouldn’t hesitate. Bye theater career I have a body to infest. You let out a soft giggle and he pulled back.

“What? Are you laughing at me?” He asked sitting fully upright. “You’re just so pretty. But we don’t have to — just we didn’t get that shower together earlier because you snuck in while I was gone  — but that’s okay. You being rested and happy is more —“ 

You rolled your eyes, grabbing him by the ratty t-shirt he wore to bed, interrupting his probably too long “whatever you want” speech and pulled him between your legs. It was rare that you got to return the favor by catering to him for once, no one loved harder than Seokmin. He got you the best gifts every major holiday, he always had something new he loved about you ( last week he said he’d never seen anyone drink liquids as sexy as you did ). He was the current manager, supervisor, president and ceo of romantic gestures and the scariest part was how genuine it was. In the beginning when you first started dating you were positive you were being love bombed. But Seokmin just didn’t do love halfway. He was all in at all times and the things he wanted in return were so subtle.

He craved intimacy and closeness like a toddler sometimes. Always needing to be touching, grabbing, holding, and so on. But nothing quite got to him like sex did. It was how Seokmin came undone. You weren’t a sex goddess by any means but he easily made you feel like one just by nature of being irrevocably in love with you.

Seokmin cups your face and lowers himself  down to kiss you. “Are you trying to impress me by using one arm to kiss me?” You ask teasingly.

Seokmin nods. “Yes, I do one armed push ups better than Joshua now, is it working?”

You pull him into another kiss, and only when he’s good and red in the face do you let up. “Definitely.”

You kiss him again and he lets out a little hum of delight as he kisses you back.  He keeps one hand on your cheek, but then he’s wrapping the other around your waist holding you closer to him even if it’s uncomfortable. You press in, your tongue teasing his, as the swell of your breasts push against his chest. He sinks his hand into your hair, fingers gripping, as he tips your head back, devouring your mouth. It’s been nearly four years together. Seokmin has kissed you thousands of times in hundreds of ways—quick kisses in the car, slow morning kisses while lying in bed, hurried kisses in a dingy bar bathroom. Each one is precious. But they aren’t his favorite.

His favorite kisses are the ones he claims while he’s inside you. He told you once that he craves the feeling of home that comes from feeling you everywhere all at once—under his body, around his dick, cradling his hips, in his mouth, gripped in his hands. That feeling of knowing your so completely his. More than being his, he’s yours. Irrevocably. Completely. The kisses he gives you in the heat of your passion are a claiming as much as they’re an offering. In those moments, he swears he’s giving you everything. Every piece of him. And he always promises that you can have it all.

“I need to be inside you,” He pants against your lips, gripping tighter to your hair. “I’m going to die if I can’t. Look at you.” He tugs your t-shirt up over your head exposing your breasts. He pulls his own off and shimmies out of his boxers. He curls a finger into the waistband of your underwear and tugs them down past your ankles discarding them on the floor.

His thumb slides through your pussy, spinning a circle on your clit. “I love you so much.” He scoots himself down until he’s half hanging off the bed but now he’s eye level with your lower half. His head drops, the pointed tip of his tongue mirroring the motion of his thumb. Your head falls back, hands to his dark hair. You moan. “Everything about you is so beautiful.” He murmurs.

You don’t even bother trying to talk. There’s no point. All your words disappear when his finger slides into you. After a few gentle thrusts, he adds a second finger. Your back arches off the bed in a silent plea for more. You want more, more, more. Then his mouth is on you and you’re having an out-of-body experience. Like you’re being consumed. Like he can’t get enough. Seokmin’s teeth graze your clit and you jolt on the bed, vision blurring.

“Fuck!” He pushes a finger in to work with his tongue and you’re a writhing, whimpering mass of limbs. “Min. I . . . oh my god. Fuck. That’s . . .” You can’t string a coherent sentence together. The only thing you keep asking for is, “More.” And when he adds a second finger, mouth suctioned onto your clit while he impales you roughly, more is what you get. Within a matter of minutes, you have an orgasm at the hands of the most infuriating and adoring man you’ve ever met. How could you not love him?

“It’s not enough.” Seokmin whines. He rolls off the bed and then he’s grabbing you by the ankles pulling you from warmth to the chill on the edge of the bed. He comes to stand between your legs and despite his eagerness to touch you, his face is as gentle and loving as always.Your hand reaches up, and trembling fingers gently trail over his stomach, tracing his abs, tracking the V-line that runs down to his groin. You watch as he shivers, taking hold of his cock in his hand and gives it a few quick pumps.

“Baby…can you open your mouth?” He asks and it’s almost shy. But it’s not really a question. Not from him, and not like this. You give him a hard time because you buckle under the weight of his devotion occasionally but you would do anything he asked you to. Your wide eyes turn up to him, and your lips part. He traces them with the head, watching a drop of pre-cum smear over your top lip. Watching your tongue dart out, like you’re dying to taste him, before opening your mouth wide again. You didn’t mean for it to be so sensual, but it undoes Seokmin. His control, his kindness and gentleness snaps. He takes two fistfuls of your hair and pushes his cock between your lips. You hum in satisfaction, watching your boyfriend shiver as the sound vibrates through him. His body clenches as he withdraws and then he plunges in again. It’s heaven having your warm mouth all around him, your tongue swirling, hands roaming over his torso as he controls your head.

Your gaze flits up to Seokmin and he’s staring hard at you, full of fire. Want. Desire.  Your mouth goes down farther and farther, hands gripping his ass. You swallow him deeply because you can’t get enough. His eyes are getting glassy, and he catches himself, immediately withdrawing from your mouth. Barely contained pleading dips into his voice.

“Just…please…” Seokmin for, if I’m not inside you within the next twenty seconds I will lose my mind. You know it well, know him better than anyone it feels like. All the little intricacies that make up the man you’re going to marry one day.

You lick your lips, and then he’s flipping you over, lifting your hips so your ass is in the air. He swipes through your wetness, watching the way your back arches, your knees slipping wider on the bedspread. You’re soaked for him and now he knows it.

He swipes again. A shiver races down your spine. Your pussy throbs. Your hips rotate and you push yourself at him. “Min please, I need — “

“This?” He slides in an inch, your mouth pops open as you manage to moan around the word yes. Your body vibrates with need. His body does it too. You can feel it. “This too?” He pushes in further, you fingers scrabble at the sheets twisting into the fabric. “It’s my favorite when you take all of me.” He pushes all the way in until he’s completely seated inside you.

“Fuck, yes,” you hiss, dropping to your elbows while he takes a hold of your hips. “Move, please move.” You whine. Your pants coming even like a drumbeat.

“Anything for you.” He whispers, pulling out and slamming back in. Your body bows, and your moans turn to screams as he hits a steady rhythm. Your groans mix with the wet sound of your bodies crashing against each other. He tugs your hair. You spread your legs further. He pushes your head into the bed. You chant his name. He squeezes your  throat, kisses your neck, bites your back. You take it all, still chanting his name.

Your hips, your back, your legs—every move you make is designed to get closer to him. To take it deeper. Harder. It’s never quite enough. Not for Seokmin, never for Seokmin.

“Just a little more.” His voice is wrecked, he’s hyper focused now, angling himself slightly so he can get as close and as deep as anatomy allows. “You have no idea how stunning you look, taking all of me. How good you feel. You’re the love of my life,” He grinds out as he thrust in and out of you again. You buck beneath him chasing the pleasure coiling in your stomach. The bed dips and you see he has a knee on it now. This shifts the pressure, the stimulation hits you hard and suddenly your leg is shaking as your orgasm builds. Everything tightens as you clench around him and then you can tell Seokmin is tumbling off that same cliff with you in this moment. His cock pulses inside you as you grip him tight before your legs give out and you both crumble onto the bed. A mess of sweat, weak limbs, and breathless touches.

He pulls you into his arms. His lips press against your temple.

“I know I say it a lot, so it loses its meaning sometimes. But y/n there is no place that you can go that I won’t follow.  No world where my heart doesn’t explode at the thought of you. I am unable to not love you. I can’t stop it. I can’t change it. I can’t be anything but yours forever.”

You have no idea what else he babbled. You were asleep within minutes the last words to him telling him that you of course felt the same. 

“Y/n please wake up. Please I have to tell you something. Please before I disapp —“

You shift in the bed. Was Seokmin just trying to wake you up? You roll over, the sheets are ruined, they definitely need to be washed. But he isn’t in bed. You yawn reaching for your phone. It’s later in the day than you thought. Almost 11am. Seokmin is not a late sleeper but he’ll let you sleep as long as he can keep himself quiet.

But there’s no noise in your new apartment. He’s not capable of being this silent. Did he go get breakfast? Or did he have something he needed to do for classes? You don’t have a message and he always leaves a message but he’s only human. You text him and there’s no immediate answer. Slightly frustrating but when he was free he’d respond.

Three hours and nothing. Three hours and you’re slightly pissed. Those old hurts are rising to the surface, it’s his own fault. He makes himself so available, there’s a text for when he’s arrived at every destination. He’s constantly narrating over the phone everything he’s doing or where he’s going. He tells you everything, well almost everything. Something niggles at the back of your mind. And you glance over to the other side of the bed after you’ve gone back in to change the sheets. Seokmin keeps his phone in the nightstand drawer. You don’t want to, you shouldn’t —- but you pull it open. His phone is there, all the notifications from you blinking a hello. You frown. Seokmin doesn’t forget his phone, ever. He likes to document everything — he sends you the most meaningless pictures sometimes. He says it’s like being together.

And he doesn’t have it. Your heart beats faster in your chest. You throw on a jacket and a pair of shorts rushing out of your apartment to the balcony. His car is still there. Parked next to yours. He’s not in it. Or around it. Immediately you’re texting his friends. Joshua, Jeonghan, Soonyoung. No one has heard anything but no one is worried either. They’re used to not hearing from him, because they’re used to losing track of him when he’s with you. It’s common they reply. But he’s not with you. You haven’t seen him since four in the morning.

Panic is setting in. Somewhere in the back of your mind those seventeen days niggle. They poke and prod and mock you. It’s happened before. It’s happening again.

Where did he go?

three years later.

In the end none of it mattered. He didn’t want to be found wherever he was. No amount of hounding the police, no amount of pushing the story on the news, or shouting outside of offices worked. In the end the matter was simple. There was no law that said he couldn’t leave. No law that said he couldn’t shatter your heart into fucking pieces as it suited him.

Oh it had been devastating in the beginning. You had an apartment you could only half afford, and his phone which held no secrets. In fact almost everything in it seemed mundane or focused on you. You had his car which you sold illegally to break the lease on the apartment eventually. And still nothing. You went to visit his parents and they were gone…again. Joshua swore it had to be witness protection. Everyone did. Because the only constant they could predict about Seokmin was that he’d never leave you. He’d rather die. Bullshit. 

You cried a lot. Screamed. Tried to have a one night stand with Soonyoung that ended with him embarrassingly driving you home and vowing to never speak of you attempting to jump him again. His response was that Seokmin would kill him. The same Seokmin that had basically ghosted you for six months at that time. But Soonyoung didn’t care, because wherever he was he had no choice. He would never leave you.

And you were sick of hearing that. Sick of hearing about his dedication to you. About his love. Eventually you avoided his friends altogether. It was too hard. Jeonghan would tell a joke, the kind that Seokmin would’ve loved. The kind he would’ve imitated to everyone he knew and later to you even though you’d been right there hearing it as well. They were his closest friends. They were angry with him but their hearts weren’t broken. No one wanted to hate him with you, they couldn’t.

You had to start over. After college you moved as far away as you could. You didn’t bother to keep in touch with anyone other than your own friends. No sense in letting his friends think you were holding out hope. You lost that a while ago. It stopped hurting as much. No longer a constant piercing deep pain. Now the loss of Seokmin was a dull ache. You tried dating but that would be impossible for awhile longer. What man could compare? What first date wanted to hear about how your hard and fast rules included being worshipped unconditionally and surprised with spontaneous romantic gestures daily? He had spoiled you for anyone else, right from the beginning.

Therapy didn’t help either. Your therapist would ask about red flags, what made you question Seokmin? His constant sweetness? His insistence that you would be married and have six kids? How he would make you hold his hand when he pressed the power button on the blender because loud noises scared him sometimes? All you could say was how it happened once before and you didn’t question it hard enough. You missed him so much that you never reached the level of clarity you had now. You just fell back into him — and what a horrific fool you’d been. To trust that bright, adoring smile.

Night was the hardest. When things got quiet and you had none of his laughter or happiness to soothe you. It had been three years and still you hadn't gotten used to it. You were starting to wonder if you ever would. At this point you were only months away from being apart as long as you'd been together and everyone kept saying that's when it'd get better. It had to right? Because the alternative would be that you’d always miss him and some part of you hated that. You just didn’t want him in your head anymore.

The one good thing in your life right now? A cute corgi named Yumi that you adopted once you moved into your new place. The house had once belonged to your grandparents who raised generation after generation of kids in it and now it would get to be yours to one day have your own family. You couldn’t wait to get there knowing some day you wouldn’t remember how much it hurt because someone would be able to love that pain away.

Feeling slightly better you headed toward the backyard to let Yumi out. A streetlight stood in the alley behind your house. It made the night time bathroom breaks easier for Yumi but it drove you crazy. There was a short or something in the light so it flickered like crazy all night. Even with blackout curtains you could see it sometimes and it would keep you awake. It was flickering now much faster than normal and you sighed, you really didn’t have the energy to deal with that tonight.

You were in the middle of the yard picking up dog poop when the light suddenly went out. You rose, tying the little plastic bag off and sticking it in the bin. You went inside to wash your hands and then came back out to investigate. The light still wasn’t on. Had it finally broken? That would make today amazing. Suddenly a sharp musical note caught your attention. The bedroom windows were open upstairs and you could faintly hear the sound. A ringtone. A familiar ringtone. Seokmin’s phone. A phone that you couldn’t bear to part with. But you hadn’t paid the bill at all. How was it ringing?

The streetlight flickered back on, it seemed much brighter than before. And someone was standing beneath it. They just…appeared. Aglow and beautiful and…Seokmin. A face you never thought you’d see again. Same big ears, sharp nose, glimmering eyes. He looked tired. His hair was shorter than he wore it before and darker. He looked stronger, muscles rippled from his t-shirt. The sight of him made you ache, and you felt faint. Suddenly you realized you had sunk right into the grass. Yumi was playfully hopping in and out of your lap.

Seokmin who had just been staring at you as much as you stared at him came running. Oh — he smelled different. A woodsy natural scent and so good. But you were angry, a numbing sensation began to smother that slight interest in him. He could never have you again.

“Y/n please let me explain. Please. I’m so sorry. I promised I wouldn’t leave again and I did I’m so —“ You stood to your feet ready to let him have it and promptly vomited all over him.

“I know I’m supposed to be sorry but I really don’t care about throwing up on you. I hope I ruined something really expensive.” You stood in the doorway of your kitchen watching Seokmin do his best to clean himself up. You were forced to loan him a shirt and at least let his shoes dry. It would be the perfect time to give him a piece of your mind, while he was at your mercy.

“That’s okay. I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if someone I thought cared about me disappeared for…a year?” Seokmin said with a minor hint of hesitation in his tone.

Your eyes went wide. You were going to kill him. “A yea—Seokmin it’s been three years! Almost four in a few months.” You snapped and his brow furrowed in confusion.

“What? No. I would’ve come back. I wouldn’t have—I’ve never…” His voice trailed off and he just stared blankly ahead for a moment. “I was gone for almost four years?”

“Get out.” The word came out bitter and distant. He didn’t even keep track of how long he’d been away from you. This was a joke but finally it was closure.

“Wait, please.” You didn’t have time for it, you turned, marching toward the front door and yanked it open. Seokmin looked ready to burst into tears at any moment but he didn’t budge past the living room doorway.

“Get out.” You repeated a touch of venom seeping into the words.

“You didn’t see me walk up.” Seokmin replied frantically.

“What?” You snapped in return.

“The light. You were staring at the light when I appeared because you were looking right at me. So that means you didn’t see me come from anywhere. You didn’t see me walk up to the light.” Seokmin said in a desperate rush.

“So what?” You still held the front wide open.

“So I didn’t walk up at all. I-I came back from where I was by shifting realities.” Seokmin said.

The front door closed. You were crossing the room towards the kitchen and Seokmin involuntarily flinched backwards as if he were afraid you might hit him. Instead you reached for your phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Calling paramedics because clearly you're unwell."

"What? I'm--" He gripped his hair desperately, pacing back and forth for a moment before he turned to you with a desperate look. "Where's my phone?"

"Seokmin why does that -- wait how do you know I have your phone?" You asked carefully, eyes narrowing at him.

"It's the first thing that signals to me. Unless someone throws it out which has happened before. But I knew it was here, it's how I found you. It came back on right? It only does that if I'm back. I don't know why, it's just what happens." He intoned and although it had been several years, although you had no reason to trust him -- his face and his voice felt so familiar. You knew Seokmin. And against all odds, you still knew him. You could tell when he wasn't being completely honest, like before when he subverted all conversation of his previous disappearance. Now he stood before you and everything in his demeanor was begging you to believe him. You just didn't know if you could.

An hour later you were sat on the plush couch that led to your living room attempting to make sense of the story he was telling.

“When it happened before it was my body needing to go. I have to shift somewhere else at least once a month. Or my body does it for me. Like everything is building up waiting to implode. I hadn’t been doing my due diligence. We were spending so much time together and I realized quickly that although there were all these other universes, this was the only one that had you in it. I kept trying to find you elsewhere I thought maybe…I don’t know maybe somehow the you here would know I was safe with the you somewhere else. But there is no other you, anywhere in any universe. I looked for a long time.”

“So you were forced into this?” You asked cautiously, still not convinced.

“No. It’s genetic. It happens to my dad too. My mom knows about it though, I — I didn’t know how to explain it to you. I thought if I explained it too soon I’d lose you. I thought that I could just control it and you didn’t have to know. I didn’t realize that by ignoring things for so long it would result in such huge gaps of away time. I had been slacking on shifting, but it was so hard to leave you. I just couldn’t. Not even for a second so I kept pushing things back because I was scared I’d be gone too long. Finally I knew something was going to happen and I should’ve told you but I was gone for seventeen days and when I got back all I wanted to focus on was getting you to trust me again….”

“Only to completely shatter our trust a year later.” You said voice steeped in sarcasm.

Seokmin winced and then gave a brief nod before staring up at you. “I wanted to take you with me. To prove it. But my dad said it would kill you, that your body wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

You chewed your bottom lip and your eyes narrowed. “So if this is something you can control, show me.”

Seokmin’s eyes went wide. “But I just got back what if I leave again and I’m stuck like before. It takes a long long time to sift through reality and find my way back here. I have to keep moving, if I stay complacent I won’t ever be able to get back to you. And — and I don’t think I could live knowing I was stuck somewhere in a world that didn’t have you in it.”

“Seokmin I can’t trust you. Whether this is some elaborate lie or the absolute truth there’s damage that’s been done. I was unmade by your disappearing. And if there is even a hope to heal that hurt within myself I need it. Even if it means I never see you again.” Because if it was true and he never came back well at least you knew why. At least finally you’d have closure and you could move on. But if he did come back what then? It seemed like finding your way back to each other wouldn’t be an option…not after all this time.

He frowned but eventually nodded. “Okay, if it’ll help I can do it. I’ll just live with whatever happens.” He rose to his feet and when he looked at you, despite the warning in your brain, your heart swelled. You knew that look on Seokmin well. Complete and utter devotion and love. Even after all this time he still loved you. And then he was gone. Without a word just vanished in thin air. It was the truth and as you stared at the empty space where he’d once been you wept. It had been just the kind of healing you needed.

“Look.” You pointed to the flickering street light hoisting the toddler clinging to your leg up onto your hip. The light went out and your toddler gasped in delight as if they hadn’t seen this happen last month. After roughly thirty seconds the light came back on brighter than ever. A familiar ringtone sounded from the kitchen window, you could hear Yumi barking at the noise.

Seokmin emerged from beneath the light all smiles. He rushed forward springing your toddler from your arms and spinning them around. He was a good dad though he would argue against it. It was laughable to think of the old you, who didn’t think Seokmin had the capacity to hold love for anyone else but he was ever a surprise. In fact he was even more insufferable now that you’d become parents. Things like the first time your toddler played with a new toy or took their sock off were extremely important to him. The shifting grew harder for him the older your child got. He had to miss some important firsts like walking and the first birthday party. But he wasn’t allowed to skip his body’s need to explore the universes out there. He always had the best stories.

After that fateful night in your house things got better. You and Seokmin took things slow which proved a particular kind of torture for him, but it was necessary. There was lots of hanging out and then casual dating and then things got serious when he asked you to be his anchor this was after the wedding of course. His mom had done it for his dad. As long as you were alive he could hone in and come home. It was a huge undertaking because the stress of the shifting affected the anchor too. When he was gone you felt more fatigued, emotional and anxious. Which were normal symptoms of a lot of things but it felt dialed up to a hundred the first time you experienced it. Your heart missed him and you wondered at the familiar feeling. Maybe you’d been his anchor all along — when he returned it was like someone had slotted all the right pieces into place. Relief.

Even now as you watched them play and dance around the back yard with Yumi judging from a respectable distance, you felt the huge impact of your anxiety subsiding. Like you could breathe again, and that constant feeling of tiredness was dissipating. It was an even better feeling knowing that when he came back it would always be to you, no matter what happened. You forced him to shift now, he tried to get out of it but you kept a tight schedule. He wasn’t going to put it all off and then miss out on his kids life because of it. You would never take the risk of losing him for that long again.

He smothered your toddler in kisses that resulted in delighted screaming from the both of them and then he came over to do the same to you. As he led you both inside you were struck by how lucky you were. Seokmin had been in entirely different universes with all manner of beautiful people inside and out. He had every opportunity to look elsewhere. To love differently to give up and stop fighting to be with you. Yet he always chose you. He said once that despite having travelled to 3,294 universes, he really only needed you. His entire world.

And funnily enough you believed him.

[writingoddess1125]

Modern AU Buggy X Reader

Buggy x GnReader

Just fluffy Headcanon!

• Buggy is the leader of a budget theater group that he spends nights writing or getting his people to practice for local shows- during the day however he has his own Boat Charter company and a second business of a delivery company.

• Has Rhinophyma and Roseaca which is why his nose is so large and red. Hates it and has been to so many dermatologist to get it fixed- but due to blood flow and other things will have it for life.

• Has a deep anger towards his half brother Shanks- He feels like their mentor Gol D Roger's who owned a large shipping company when he died it should have been Shanks who owned the shop to keep the legacy alive. Buggy would have been willing to follow Shanks if he did this since he knew he cohldnt- But Shanks ended up just leaving town and Buggy trying to keep it together before it finally went belly up.

• Secretly wanted to be an actor but never got the chops for it due to his nose-

• When you first meet Buggy its at one of the plays, it's a fun improve night. While not many people are there you go with some friends since you found the tickets online.

• You're one of the few people that actually play along with the act and seem to be enjoying themselves. Instead of half drunk college students that got the tickets off groupon-

• He has you come down to the stage and does a whole improve act with you, Being such a good sport you end up helping him get the crowd more engaged.

• Buggy invites you to do shows with him which you agree to. Hum giving you his number in exchange

• Showing up every Thursday to the improv nights and you start becoming friends with his theater group. Noticing how Buggy seemed much happier as you got along with everyone-

• After a few months he works up the courage to ask you out on a date, which you gladly accept.

• At first he tries to take you to the most expensive places but when you express he doesn't have to spend money to show he lives you- He gets more creative and thoughtful.

• Walks through the beach, coffee dates, going to musicals together.

• His favorite are movie nights, He will show off his limited cooking skills aka Hot Dogs and a assortment of junk food while the two of you watch mostly terrible F Tier movies together.

- "Which one did you find?" You call out from the kitchen getting some soda for yourself and Buggy.

"It's called Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter {OP note: This is a real movie- absolutely awful}" Buggy yelled out, laughing at just the name as you jump onto the big couch and hand him his drink as he eats some chips.

"That sounds absolutely awful" You say, looking at the cheap movie cover and reading the back with a snort. Buggy nods, patting himself on the back for finding such garbage.

"It truly is, I've outdone myself" He says proudly before the two of you start the terrible adventure. Having to pause the movie at times for laughing so damn hard-

"This is so bad!" You say as you laugh and roll on the floor- Buggy no better. However he wiped the tears from his eyes as he caught his breath.

"While we can laugh at least he made a movie-" He pointed out with a shrug, you sitting next to him and raising a eyebrow at the oddly kind words from Buggy.

"What do you mean?"

"I always wanted to make a movie- But I doubt anyone would watch them.. they barely watch my shows" He muttered, his insecurities getting to him as he subconsciously touched his nose. You reaching over and grabbing his hand quickly, kissing his lips to snap him from his terrible thoughts.

"What are you talking about?! I think your shows are great and I know you'd do a fantastic job making a movie!" You proclaimed loudly with a smile, your Boyfriend turning and staring hard at you.

He stares at you- like youd said the craziest thing ever. You feeling a creep of worry going up your back at how he was looking at you

"What is your ring size?" He finally ask and gestures to your ring finger making you blush deeply red.

[power-chords]

My folks and I have been reading some of the literature on COVID/Bipolar I and they seem to suspect — and I’m inclined to agree with them — that what I thought was “long COVID” after my second bout with the virus may have in fact been my first recognizable depressive episode. Most of my symptoms overlapped with the depressive phase of Bipolar I, so disentangling the two is probably impossible in retrospect, but for many many months I was behaving in ways that are completely uncharacteristic of my personality: I was exhausted, unmotivated, and even more inattentive than my ADHD makes me ordinarily; I was uninterested in things that give me great pleasure, like going to shows and creative writing; I had brain fog so bad it was an uphill battle doing things that otherwise come quite easily to me, like communicating verbally and expressing myself with clarity and precision. Gradually these symptoms subsided, and I became even more productive and social than usual, which may very well have been a protracted hypomanic phase. I caught COVID again earlier this year, and by the start of July I was spiraling into full blown mania, prone to intense emotional states like expansive rapturous joy and crying jags at the drop of a hat. Music, theater, and reading fiction felt almost unbearably moving and profound. I was writing like crazy, and pretty soon afterward I was acting crazy, too, with racing thoughts and speech, disturbed sleep, and thoughts/ideas that were growing progressively more disordered and paranoid.

I prefer the term “manic depression,” though some consider it antiquated/offensive, because to me it most accurately describes my experience. But by my 36th birthday my new shrink had diagnosed me with full blown Bipolar I. I’m much better now with several weeks of a mood stabilizer under my belt, and this past weekend we went with the “nuclear option,” I.E. a four-day course of high dose antipsychotics. I was miserable from the extrapyramidal side effects, and had to take Xanax throughout in order to tolerate the akathisia and restless leg syndrome. But thank god, it snapped me right out of it, and knock on wood I’m back to my old self — with a little luck, I’ll have another 15 years symptom-free, or with just low grade hypomanic/depressive states that are so mild as to feel like ordinary, subclinical mood swings.

What I’m struggling with is the feeling that I’ve been handed a label sticker that amounts to crippling disability at best, and an early death sentence at worst. I will probably always have to keep these incredibly powerful drugs with their rotten side effect profile on hand, and may one day need to take them consistently, if I wind up having future severe episodes. To have to choose between Shitty and Shittier over a dangerous brain disease feels like I’ve been dealt the world’s worst genetic hand, and that bums me out a lot. I know it’s not my fault, but seeing the agony I’ve put my parents through is the worst part. Figuring out how to manage this is going to be a lifelong struggle against my own lousy biology, and that sucks. I’m trying to stay optimistic. It’s been really, really hard.

[aggro-my-beloved]

Oh, My Darlin' Sam Collins x Reader Imagine

note: this was meant to be posted a lot sooner, but i struggled to be satisfied with the finished product. I've re-written this 3 different times and still am unsure about it so please let me know if you liked it by reblogging or interacting with me!

pairing: samuel collins x gn!reader

summary: post-quinn, tank has been trying to rebuild their social life and relationships with pack members. little do they know, their is one relationship david has been withholding them from kindling. when they make a surprise visit to solstice bar, however, the alpha's hands become tied...and the attractive bartender with the nice accent catches this wolf's attention — part of the pick your poison series!

warnings: mentions of alcohol, midwest emo band things, and protective alpha davey (he and tank are twins!)

wc: 1.8k

estimated reading time: 8.75 mins

“Sorry, I can’t let you in. We’re full.” David’s palm was inches away from Tank’s face. They suffered a momentary flashback of when they were kids and he would do the very same thing at their attempts to go on a rollercoaster they did not exceed the height requirement for, or trying to sneak into the theater for an R-rated film after buying tickets to a Disney feature. 

“Seriously?” They quirked a brow, going as far as to crane their neck and view the barren parking lot. If not for her vehicle tagging alongside David’s, Milo’s, and one she hadn’t recognized upon her arrival, a tumbleweed blowing past would be fitting for the sight. “It’s 8 o'clock on a Tuesday.” 

“Still busy. Asher’s here trying to kiss up to the staff to let him and Christian’s band play. Private meeting.” He scowls. While Tank enjoyed the live demos played before them, they understood it was not David’s favorite type of music. He doesn’t even label it as that. 

“I’m sorry, but wasn’t it you who said I should stop secluding myself from others?” Their slow-building anger urges some prominent veins to adorn their neck. David’s eyes try not to linger on the piercing bite marks credited to Quinn, the sight of them still makes his insides wrinkle with guilt. 

“I’m here to support the pack’s business. Here, maybe…” they pause for a moment to rifle through the knapsack hanging from their shoulder, “this will change your mind.” David rolls his eyes at their license photo staring back at him. Tank was arguably the worst pick for posing in pictures. If their eyes weren’t closed in the shot, the morsel of food jammed between their teeth was the focal point. 

David merely glances at it and deadpans. “It’s fraudulent.” 

Tank replies, “It’s not.” 

“You’re underage.” He tries.

“We’re twins!” They scoff. “The fact that you’re older by a minute says nothing about my naivety, Davey.” The tips of the bouncer's ears scorching something rosy makes Tank hum in delight. 

“I’ll…I’ll eat it.” 

“David, why are you so set on keeping me from your hard work?” Their brows are furrowed, and much like the siblings' stubborn attitudes, remain unmoving.

The truth is, David would love nothing more than to share his second home with Tank. He and Milo built this place from the ground up and cranked it into a full-fledged business with some help from old connections of Gabe. The only thing stopping him from letting Tank in was…

“Sammy I promise you—“

“Call me that again and the deal is off.” The vampire’s rasp shoots out like venom, coating the room in a tense air. 

“Alrighty, Mr. Collins,” Sam is nonetheless impressed with the alternate name—he releases an exhausted sigh to show it. Nevertheless, he allows Asher to plead his case. The younger of the two momentarily struggles to pull out the compact disc, and finally hands it to the bartender when he does.  “Just give it a couple of spins through this week and see what your customers think. It’ll grow on you, I promise.” 

“What in the hell is this drawing?” Sam brings the CD to his eyes to squint at the black squiggles across it. 

“What drawing? That’s our band’s name!” Asher clarifies with a small laugh. For being known to have sharp senses, this drummer could have him fooled. 

“And that would be…?”

“Howl’s Highway.” Asher flashes him a boasting smile. Sam only lets out an unimpressed grunt. 

“Subtle name. Definitely won’t come back to bite you in the ass.” 

“Sheesh, no wonder you and David get along so well.” Asher still has his roommate’s ten-minute-long speech echoing in his mind about how such an epic name was one step closer to a covert breach. 

“What’s your intermission consist of? Shifting mid-set and running out all our returning customers?” 

“Pfft, no..” Asher rolls his eyes, before shifting them down to the notes app on his phone and pressing the backspace button several times. 

“Hey boys, hate to interrupt your top-secret meeting.” An unfamiliar face draws Sam away from the disc, and he’s enamored by their aura immediately. He can sense they’re a shifter, most likely a wolf by the way David looms behind them with crossed arms. 

“Hey, look who finally emerged from their cave!" Asher chuckles and untucks a free barstool beside him. "Pop a seat, let me introduce you to Sammy--ahem, forgive me--Mr. Collins. This is one of our pack members, Tank."

“There’s no need for that. They’re just here for a plate of fries to go. Milo!” David alerts the chef. He hears a distant clatter, followed by a string of swears, and can only assume his colleague is checking his hair in the stainless steel frying pan yet again.

“On it!” 

“I’d also like a drink for my trip over.” Tank raises a finger and seats themselves beside Asher on the open barstool.“Have you closed the deal yet?” 

“I don’t know. Sam, have I?” Two pairs of eyes turn in the vampire's direction, but he only finds himself lost in one. A glance is enough to entice him, and though he’d never admit it, he’d be trying to recreate the exact shade of Tank’s irises in his dreams tomorrow morning. 

“Yeah, why the hell not?” He mutters, never breaking eye contact with the new acquaintance sitting at his bar. “What can I get for you to drink, darling?” They feel an unfamiliar scorch of their cheeks at the pet name but do nothing to object to it. This newfound sweltering in the pit of their stomach is something they’ve only felt once or twice, and they’d be damned to extinguish it. 

David, however, has different plans.

“It’s all good, Sam. I can make it. Go ahead and take your break.” David slinks behind the bar.

“But I just got here half an hour ago…” his southern drawl becomes even more present with the mild fear lacing his words. He becomes suddenly aware of how tense David’s stature is, and the clenched fists at his side. 

“Go take a break or I'll cut you early. Understood?” David snarls, and Sam takes a step back towards the swing door of the kitchen. A few seconds go by before he concedes.

“Yes, sir.” He retreats behind the kitchen door, both confused and frightened by David’s sudden change in attitude. As he’s wandering the kitchen to find any leftover appetizers from the lunch rush earlier in the day, his ears perk up at the hushed voices from outside. 

“What crawled up your ass?” He hears the Tank ask.

“Yeah, what did Sam do?” Asher jumps in.

“Nothing.” David insists. “What do you want?” Sam can practically hear the sneer in David’s voice, complemented by clinking glasses.

“Ooh, ooh, Bud Lite please!” 

“I wasn’t asking you, Ash,” a few seconds later, the noise of air decompressing and a bottle cap being flicked is heard.

“I want the nice bartender back. He seems less… aggravated.” Hot as fuck, is also another attribute Tank associates with him, but decides not to indulge. 

“Well the nice bartender just went on break, so it looks like you’re stuck with me.” 

“That’s okay, I can wait.” Sam snickers at their persistence. Milo turns his head to see what’s so funny. Sam waves him off and clears his throat. Perhaps the fryer is so loud, or the bar is so slow, Milo couldn’t care less to acknowledge the commotion outside of the kitchen. 

The wolf decides to break the silence when he brings the fryer baskets up from their grease bath and allows the fries to cool down. “Whatcha thinking for dinner? We’re fully stocked on everything from the truck this morning.” 

If he answered honestly and told Milo he’d lost his appetite, that he just wants answers as to why David has a sudden vendetta against him communicating with this pack member, that would only result in more questions. Instead, he eyes the shifter piling a styrofoam box with freshly cooked and seasoned fries and halts him short of his walk out the door. 

“Why don’t I send this out, if you make me a batch of those small hamburgers…the ones with the toothpicks in them?” Milo snorts, and genders:

“You mean sliders, Sam?” 

“Yes, those. I’ll be right back.” He spares him a thankful smile, and cracks open the kitchen door to concentrate back on the trio’s conversation. Sam isn’t sure whether he should feel disappointed that the focal point of their chat was back on Asher’s band. 

“Play track four—that’s my favorite!” The drummer suggests to David, who grumbles as he fiddles with the CD player stowed in one of the bar cabinets.

“What’s the name of the song?” Asks Tank.

“The Voices in the Basement Are Getting Loud Again and the Basement is My Brain.” 

“…oh.” 

“A side of fries to go,” Sam reintroduces himself by swiftly taking a seat beside the empowered person at the bar and offering them their still steaming box of food. 

“Oh,” their tone morphs to something of interest as they readjust their body to face Sam with a pleased smile. “Didn’t you hear?” Without breaking eye contact, they undo the tabs of the styrofoam box and flip the top open with ease. “I’m staying to eat now.”

“Ain’t that somethin’,” says Sam, who harbors a pleased grin. David clears his throat, now towering over the two with folded arms and an unimpressed glaze over his eyes. 

“It’s something alright.” 

“David, come help me with the trash!” Milo’s voice beckons the Alpha to stand down from the bar and retreat to the kitchen, much to his dismay. 

“Saved by the bell.” Sam jokes, before offering Tank a tilt of his head. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…you seem like you can handle yourself in the face of trouble. Is he always this protective of his pack?” Tank’s fingers drum against the countertop as they ponder how to word their answer. 

“He’s just been wary about me hanging around vamps lately because of…some trouble I got into. Let’s put it this way, the other guy had it coming.” Tank tilts their chin up, unintentionally revealing a few of the remaining marks left by Quinn. Sam doesn’t need to study them hard to figure out the vamp was feeding out of spite, not biting for their equal pleasure. 

“I’m sure he did, messin’ with a member of one of Dahlia’s most reputable packs. Care to share this fella’s name so I can add him to my shit list?” He inquires.

“How about we share a drink first?” Tank smiles, before sliding the plate of fries closer to his direction. Eagerly, Sam plucks one from the platter and bites down on it, his fangs sparkling beneath the dim lights of the bar. 

“I know just the one.”

[herejusttosufferalong]

I ran across that video of L sitting side-by-side with Jade singing (red shirt/beard). It’s stuff like this that makes A boggle my mind. Like he really is that musical theater nerd (albeit a hot one) and since we know nothing of her but twerking, thirst trap thong bikini pics, and bad lip syncing, it’s hard to reconcile the two of them lasting over a year as a couple. She comes across about as deep as a parking lot puddle and she may not be but she has put out zero to counter the vapid image. L is the type of guy to sit around singing with a girlfriend. What keeps these two together? Maybe it’s just physical and that’s enough. Obviously we know nothing so my question is rhetorical. Is she really making him as happy as he was in that People interview? Half of which he was talking about loving Bridgerton, a big part of his life I have a hard time picturing A welcome in. Speaking of which, if he openly talked about fairytale happy endings and is serious with A, then this ship is about to take on a shit ton on water. I selfishly wish A showed us a sweet or at the very least original part of herself to make this make sense. JD has interviews and interactions with friends that make him seem genuinely sweet and intelligent. I don’t want him with N either but I can wrap my brain around it (even with the age difference) because he does seem to have some depth. He wouldn’t have any of the friends he does of all ages if he was a dumb 23yo. Just some crap I needed to get off my chest. L really did look miserable a lot of the summer but does seem much happier now and A seems to have gone nowhere.

Not to get too into it but I also would put some blame on societal norms, as they are different for men and women.

Often times in these fields that A is trying to break into there are “physical” expectations.

That could account for some of the “vapidness” of her IG.

However, she has friends and she has been with Luke for over a year now. To market her as some “mean girl” as some folks in the fandom do is absurd.

And tbh if I was her, I would show as little of myself as possible because no good comes from it because of the fandom.

Her and the girls posted an innocuous video of them playing a game and some folks eviscerated her for no good reason.

A lot of opinions of her has also been formed due to her parents and their beliefs.

This is also extremely unfair to her, especially when you should always allow people to show you who they are.

There is a reason she is still around and yes they definitely seem to have a relationship that is completely opposite of the one he had with Jade. But is it really?

We know next to nothing about their relationship and I’m sure Luke intends on keeping it that way.

Now I will say that I think Luke seemed so happy during the People Mag shoot is because he was working.

He has always been chatty and happy during one on one interviews. He only comes off more reserved in two person interviews.

Why? Idk but I think that was part of it.

Of course I could be wrong though and maybe the love of his life had him smiling like crazy that day 😏

[justmeinadaze]

In Your Corner Part 2 (Steve X Plus Sized Reader)

A/N: Boxer Steve still resides in my brain and I wouldn't mind him taking care of me rn <3

Warnings: Boxer Daddy Dom Steve X plus sized Sub fem reader, SMUT, light choking, spanking, dirty talk, more of a softer Steve in this one, FLUFF (they love each other), ANGST, reader has a rough day and Steve is trying to make her feel better.

Word Count: 3516

Steve came in from training that afternoon to an abnormally quiet home. Usually, if you didn’t meet him at the gym after work, you would be watching tv or reading on the couch with some music on. 

“Baby?”

After doing the obligatory scan around the living room and back patio, he headed for the bedroom finding you curled up under the blankets in bed. He crawled in behind you and without hesitation you folded into him as you took hold of his hand, placing it under your cheek. You love this side of him just as much as the rough and rugged side. The soft, doting man that wanted to make sure you were happy. 

“What’s going on, baby girl?”, he whispered.

“I just had a long day. This new client we’re working with is an imbecile and then my dad was being a jerk. That mixed with other things one right after the other… I needed a moment.” You felt him nod in understanding before gently placing kisses along your shoulder making you giggle. “You are still so sweaty.”

“You like it.” Playfully, you fight against him as he tries to use your shirt like one of his gym towels as you laugh louder, rolling over to face him. “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we take a shower, get dressed, and we’ll go see a movie. Get some dinner afterwards.”

After kissing his lips, you press your face into his chest, inhaling him as you hold him closer. You never knew what it was about him but when you had a bad day or just felt down, you allowed yourself to let go and enter this particular side of that little girl headspace. You had never done that with anyone else and would always insist that you could take care of yourself. Hell, you had done it most of your life. 

The first time you had an off day in the beginning of your relationship, you shut down and disappeared. A few hours later, he knocked on your door with the intention of punishing you but as soon as he saw your face his anger faded. Steve spent the rest of the evening on the floor in your living room, making you laugh and sharing a delicious, gigantic pizza with you.

“This isn’t going to ruin your training, is it?”

“What do you mean, honey?”

“I mean with the pizza and beer. Don’t boxers have to be at a certain weight?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters to me is that beautiful smile returning to your face.”

“Steve…”

“Y/N, don’t ever be afraid to tell me when something is wrong, ok? No matter what it is. I would rather take care of you or if it involves me have us talk it out than have you disappear again.”’

“I’m sorry. It’s just…how I handle my stress. I let it all build until I implode. I struggle with letting go like that. I’ve always taken care of myself, you know?”

“I know, baby, but I’m here to help.” Steve scooted closer to you, propping up on his elbow till his lips were below yours. “Let Daddy take care of you.”

From that moment on, you did and were completely surprised with how easy it was or maybe he just made it that easy. 

“You’re too sweaty.”, he mimicked in your voice making you giggle as you pushed him away and rolled out of bed. 

“Come on, Daddy. Let’s get ready.”

###########

“Oh my god, Steve Harrington. You know me too well.”, you grin as you wrap your arms around his waist. 

“I was going to ask you about it when I got home anyway so it was perfect.”

Every week the local Hawkins cinema would play a movie that wasn’t normally out in theaters and this weeks showing was “Shaun of the Dead.” You loved any kind of disaster fueled film especially if it left you laughing and Steve knew you needed that more than anything right now. 

Another thing you loved about him was how much genuine attention he paid to you and what you said. Like with his career, he spent a great deal of time studying you even now to make sure you were happy or to avoid making you sad. The first time you noticed it was when he went with you to the mall a couple of weeks after you started dating.

His gorgeous honey eyes kept track of everything your hand grazed or anything you pointed to that made you smile. When you entered a makeup section that’s when he started asking questions. 

“Wait so why this brand instead of that one? Are they different colors or?”

“Not exactly. This brand here feels better on my face whereas this one kind of feels cakey.”

“Cakey?”

You grin as you reach for his hand and grab both the sample bottles, dapping each one on his skin. His eyes meet yours as he softly smiles and you lean up on your toes to kiss his lips. 

“Ah, ok. I feel it now. Cakey.” Giggling, you wipe his hand with a wet wipe as you continue explaining different products to him. 

A week later he surprised you with a little bag of gifts including that makeup and some other things he’d thought you’d like from that store. 

What you didn’t know was Steve enjoyed listening to you explain things to him. You always got so animated if it was a subject you enjoyed and, personally, he loved that you didn’t talk down to him or make him feel stupid. Even when he was explaining something to you he felt like he wasn’t making any sense or sounding like a moron but you never reacted that way. 

The first time he really broke down boxing for you, he ended almost every sentence with “Does that make sense?” To which you would nod and ask him a follow up question. 

After purchasing some snacks, you made your way to the theater and as soon as you both took your seats, he wrapped his arm around you as you curled up closer to his side. 

“This was a good idea, baby. Thank you.”

“Of course, honey. I love you.

As the movie played he relished every giggle and laugh that left your lips. Seeing you happy was like a drug to him. The same adrenaline high he got after a fight was the same thing he felt when he was able to make you smile especially after a rough day. 

############

“I don’t feel like we’re dressed fancy enough to be here.”

“Sweetie, this is down the street from Enzos where people go in sweatpants. I think we’re ok.”, Steve chuckles. “But at least you’re wearing a dress. I’m the one in jeans.”

“Here you go, ma’am—”

“Oh, thank you but I didn’t order this.” You politely smile as the waiter placed a martini in front you. 

“Yes ma’am. Compliments of the gentleman over at the bar.” He leans in lower so only you two would hear him. “I told them you were here with a gentleman of your own but he insisted.”

“It’s ok. Thank you. Can you give this to him and tell him even if I wasn’t here with my boyfriend I would rather die than except a drink from a smarmy asshole sitting alone at the bar?”

The waiter smirks as he nods, taking the drink with him. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re fucking sexy. Always loved that attitude.”, Steve grins as he grabs your chin and pulls you in for a kiss. 

As you two continued with your dinner, you vented to him about your day and your new client at work. He growled under his breath when you mentioned your boss who did nothing to help make your job any easier. When you started talking about the conversation with your dad, however, he noticed you breeze past the topic.

“Hey, honey, wait now. What did your dad pick a fight with you about?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, babe. Just the usual stuff.”, you sighed.

Steve’s eyes narrowed in on you as he held your hand in his and kissed the back of it. 

“It was about me again wasn’t it?” When you nodded your head, he knew. You could handle the chaos at your work and still be your feisty yet cheery self but when it came to your family especially your dad it always seemed to hit you hard. 

“I just don’t understand why he can’t see you the way I do. I’ve told him your nothing like your dad or even how you were when we were growing up but…”

“Is that what the fight was about?”

“Steve…”

“Hey, it’s ok, baby girl. You know you can tell me anything.”

You sighed again as your sad eyes landed on his loving ones. “He thinks you’re going to hurt me. He said that if you were really serious about being with me…”, you shook your head in embarrassment. 

“Then we’d be married by now?”

“Steve, you know I don’t care about that kind of thing. I know you love me and I know when we are both ready we’ll take that step. I don’t think like he does. I—”

His tender, mint flavored lips cut you off as he interrupted your train of thought. 

“Sweetheart, I’ve wanted to marry you since freshman year. I just know you deserve the best and I’ve been waiting for the right time you know?”

“What do you mean ‘the best’?”

“Well, when it comes to a wedding I know it has to be perfect. Perfect flowy dress with the veil and pretty flowers.”, he grins as he leans back in his chair and paints a picture with his hands making you smile. “Of course, obnoxiously poofy bridesmaid’s dresses and a BEAUTIFUL venue. Then after we can honeymoon anywhere you want. I’ve been thinking Italy or maybe Hawaii. I know you love the beaches and the clear water.”

Steve looks at you then with a soft smile as he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

“After that, I want us to be able to come home to a house with enough rooms for us to start a family. Somewhere you feel safe and happy.”

“As long as I’m with you, Steve Harrington, I feel safe and happy.”

Once you finish your meal, he quickly runs to the restroom while you wait for him by the door. 

“I can take care of a beautiful woman like you if you let me.”

You roll your eyes at the asshole from the bar as he tries to get your attention. 

“I highly doubt that.”

“Let me show you, honey.” The man stands and strides towards you as you raise your hand to stop him. 

“I’m warning you now, honey. Sit back down and keep drinking before my boyfriend comes back and knocks you out. Trust me, he’s a boxer. He can and will.”

“Pfft like I’m afraid of that asshole.”

“Problem, baby?” Steve saunters out with confidence as you hand him his jacket you had been holding. 

“I don’t know. IS there a problem?”, you ask the man sarcastically. 

His eyes shift between you both before he shakes his head and turns away. “Fucking fat ass bitch.”

The man is forcefully turned around and met with a fist to his face. As he starts to tilt backwards Steve yanks him by the collar and turns him to face you. 

“Apologize to the lady. NOW!”

“Jesus Christ! I’m sorry!”

“Mhmm.” You roll your eyes at him again before beaming at the man you love.

##########

The entire ride home was a blur of desperate touches and needy hands mostly from your side. As he drove, your hands ran up his thigh and over his chest into the V neck part of his shirt so your fingers could graze the hair on his chest. Your lips trailed along jawline down his throat as he groaned and did his best to keep his eyes open to get you home safely. 

“I need you, Daddy. I can’t wait for us to get home so I can feel you inside of me and fill me up, baby. Fuck, Daddy, I’m so fucking wet. Please drive faster.”

Both of you practically fell into the apartment as you wrapped your arms around his neck and Steve walked you backwards with his lips attached to yours. Squeaking when the cold counter of the kitchen touched your back, you bit your bottom lip when he roughly turned you around and pushed your front half down on the granite. 

Lifting the bottom of your dress, you moaned as his hand ran along the meat of your ass before firmly coming down to spank you. Ripping off your panties, he smacked your behind again but before you could react you felt the wind of him hastily kneeling and gasped when his tongue breached your folds. 

“Yes, baby. O-Oh my god.” You whimpered as his palm came down once more and his head tilted so he could taste more of you. “Daddy, please. Don’t stop.”

Standing to his full height, Steve leaned his chest over you as he thrust two of his fingers into your entrance and pumped them so fast inside of you, you heard your slick obscenely squelch against his movements.

“Does that feel good, honey? You like when Daddy uses his fingers to make you cum?”

“Mmm—yes, Daddy.”

“You’re so fucking dirty, baby girl. Just making a mess all over your legs and my hand. Say it, Y/N. Say ‘I’m a dirty girl.’”

“I-I’m a dirty girl. I’m your dirty girl.”

“Yeah you are. Cum, sweetheart. Be a good girl and cum for Daddy.” Your vision was blinded by white as your body shuddered against the counter. “That’s it, baby. Good girl. Good girl. Ride it out. Use my fingers to make it last.”

Turning around, you cling to his neck as he smiles against your lips, throwing off his shirt as you push him towards the bedroom. 

“I like when you get needy for me.” Falling on to the mattress, you hastily remove each other’s clothes and you whimper as his palm comes down hard on your behind. “Come here and turn around, baby.”

You paused and a flash of annoyance passed through his eyes as he grabbed your throat to pull you closer to his face. 

“How many times are we going to have this conversation, little one? You are not heavy. If I couldn’t handle that sexy ass on my face I wouldn’t have asked, right?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

As if to prove his point, Steve leaned over to take hold of your hips and effortlessly lifted you till your knees were on either side of his head. His hands pushed against your back, urging you to lean forward so you could take his cock in your mouth. 

“That’s my good girl. Fuck me.”, he groaned as your lips delicately kissed his sensitive tip before wrapping them fully around his length. 

Steve was always a man about hands. You loved his massively large, beautiful hands and everything they could do. Whether they were nestled in a glove flying towards someone’s face, moving around wildly as he told a story, or like right now spreading your pussy open wider so he could flick his tongue in and out of your entrance…you loved them and what they could do. 

Your mouth came off him with a pop as you continued to stroke him with your palm.

“Baby…please…fuck…”

“No, no, baby girl. Keep that mouth open and on me.” Doing what he wanted, you felt his fingers tangle in your hair as his hips thrust up into you. As he held you still, Steve shoved his face further into your cunt making you whine around him. The man devoured you as he fucked your face and both sensations were driving you wild.

Both hands abruptly reached beneath you as he pulled you off his cock and lifted you till you were up right. 

"Make yourself cum, honey.”

He guided your motions until you were riding him, Steve’s fingers playing with your tits as you moan his name. He had told you before he didn’t mind when you said his name instead of his title. It told him you were lost in the feeling and he liked that when you were about to reach heaven his name was the first thing from lips.

Your body shook as you came, collapsing on his stomach as he continued to lick you clean. You fell onto the bed on your side and he eagerly flipped around so he could hold you while kissing your lips. 

“Good, baby. You did so good. You’re so gorgeous when you cum hard like that.”, he whispered between kisses. Your eyes were still closed but you turned into the sound of his soothing voice as he began to peck down your jawline to your ear. “Do you feel what you do to me, pretty girl? How hard I am just from you riding my face?”

After guiding your hand to his cock, you both mewled at how firm it had gotten as precum oozed from his tip. Steve’s jaw fell open when your thumb grazed across it and he lightly shuttered in pleasure at the feeling. 

“Are you ready for Daddy, baby?”

When you nod your head, he rolls on top of you and without hesitation you circle your legs around his waist. His fingers tenderly brush some loose hair out of your face as he places soft kisses on your lips. Warm air hits your tongue as Steve moans, sliding his length into your core.

You love the rough stuff with your boyfriend but you utterly reveled in seeing him like this to. Either way he had you whether it be fucking you or making love, it was filled with passion. His eyebrows knitted together as he pumped into you slowly at first, absorbed in the full feeling of you.

“I love you, Steve.”

The man’s eyes fluttered open as he looked down at you with a gentle smile. 

“I love you to, Y/N.” He pressed his forehead to yours as he gradually began moving his hips a bit faster. “Since the moment I saw you, honey. Fuck. You feel so good.”

Steve’s head falls into the nook between your neck and shoulder as he thrusts into you harder, your fingers clinging to his hair and shoulders as you whimper. 

“Fuck. Just like that, Daddy.”

“Yeah? Is that the spot, baby girl?”

“Cum…cum with me, baby, please.”

Pushing up onto his elbows, his eyes lock with yours as his hips practically punch into you, hitting that sensitive spot repeatedly until your back arches off the bed and your pussy squeezes his cock as you cum.

While you continue to flutter around him, his rhythm becomes sloppier till you feel him warm your sides.

After a quick shower, Steve wraps you up in one of his shirts and you cuddle against his side as he plays with your hair.

“Thank you for today. I had fun spending time with you.”

“Me to. Are you feeling less…overwhelmed?”

“I am. I always feel less stressed when we’re together.” 

“Me to.” You feel his smile as he kisses your forehead. “Y/N, if I did ask you to marry me would you say yes?”

His question throws you off guard as you sit up to fully face and he does the same. 

“What? I don’t understand—”

“Yes you do. If I ask you, Y/N Y/L/N, to marry me, Steve Harrington, would you say yes?”

“Of course, but you said you wanted to wait for the right time…”

“I did but like I said at dinner, I’ve been wanting to marry you since high school. I know weddings take some time to plan but no matter what, sweetheart, I love you. I’ll marry you today, tomorrow, or twenty years from now.” He rolls over and crouches down towards the tiny safe you know is at the bottom of his nightstand. 

You smile as his tongue pokes out while he inputs the code and grins when it beeps signaling success. Retrieving something from it, he scoots over to your side of the bed and yanks your legs making you giggle as he tugs you towards the edge. 

“I got this year ago and I’ve been saving it… I honestly think right now is the perfect time and I don’t care what I have to do or how hard I have to work I’m going to give you those things I said.” As he descended to one knee, he opened the tiny black box and you gasped when you saw the beautiful engagement ring nestled inside. “Y/N, will you marry me?”

“Yes, Steve Harrington! Of course!”

He breathes a sigh of relief, unaware he had been holding his breath, and promptly tackles you in his arms as he slides the ring on your finger.

[starzioo]

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓. 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘.

Hiii! This is a DracoxFem!Reader one-shot! In this story you are a ballerina. I saw this post of the Slytherin boys x a ballerina and I could just imagine Draco being absolutely in love with her. So here it is I hope you like!

WARNINGS: NONE <3

You sit on the stage of the Royal Opera House in London. Tightly wrapping the dusty pink ribbons around your ankles. Today was your rehearsal day for the production of The Nutcracker. You had been casted as the Sugar Plum Fairy. Most people would take this role as being easy and simple. But oh no, they would be terribly wrong. The movements you made had to be fluid and effortless, while also being regal. You sigh before standing back up and fixing your rehearsal tutu. You head over to your starting mark and give the signal to the director to start the music.

=

DRACO POV

I get out of the muggle-car behind my father. 'Muggles really think that this is the peak of transportation?' I think to myself as I look back at the black car behind me. "Good morning Mr. Malfoy. It's a pleasure to have you here again! Mr. Evan's is in a meeting right now and told me to tell you that he'll meet with you as soon as possible." A woman who I assume is Mr. Evan's assistant spoke to my father. "M'Alright." My father says obviously annoyed with the muggles tardiness. "Right this way then." The woman says with her smile not faltering. She walks a couple paces ahead of my father while I linger behind him. We step inside of the building. The interior looks to be made for royals. The architecture being elegant. She leads us down a couple hallways before stopping at a big door. "You may sit and wait here. Mr. Evan's will be here shortly. If you would like any refreshments or if you have any questions just head down the hallway and my desk is right there." My father only nods in response. She flashes her smile once more before heading down the hallway. Me and my father sit down on the waiting chairs. "Why are we here? Better question why am I here?" I turn and ask my father who's reading a muggle newspaper. He doesn't even look at me, "Because Draco. We are here on important business. It's about time you start learning what lies ahead for you." His tone still cold as ever. I can't even speak back, I know i'll be silenced. All I can do is huff. I stand up and just walk the opposite direction of him. I don't hate my father but sometimes I just can't stand how he seems to have my entire future in the palm of his hand.

Walking down the large hallway I can start to hear the elegant music that I can only recognize as music from The Nutcracker. When I was little my mother used to take me to a muggle theater around Christmas time. Although my father urged that we don't celebrate muggle holidays. She would always sneak us out and take me to see the Nutcracker. Not only did she love ballet but I loved to see the story play out through the graceful dancing. Of course as I grew older the tradition stopped but I never forgot.

I continue down the hallway and I can hear the music growing louder. I turn one more corner to see a double door way with a sign above the entrance that says 'MAIN THEATER' in gold lettering. The doors were slightly cracked open. I slightly peek into the theater to see a girl dancing on the stage doing the sugar plum fairies variation. I quietly slip into the room and sit down in the farthest back row to watch.

Y/N POV:

I had already rehearsed my routine twice but my director kept critiquing every little thing I did. I mean of course that's his job but I swear he was acting as if everything I did was wrong. I was in the in the middle of my third pirouette when my coach suddenly stood up and started walking to the back of the theater. I continued my pirouettes until I heard my coach speak. "I'm sorry sir but you aren't allowed in here while rehearsals are going on. I must ask you to leave." He said as he ushered someone who was sitting in the back of the theater out of the room. The man stood and I caught a glimpse of him. He was tall and had icy blonde hair. I paused my variation and stood to watch. The blonde man then spoke, "I'm sorry for interrupting sir. I had no clue." He said before then exiting the theater. My manager turned back around after closing the doors to the theater. "Alright Y/n from the top!" He said as he gave the tech people the signal to restart the music. I didn't complain. I rushed back to my starting mark and started my routine from the beginning.

DRACO POV:

As I sat in the back row I admired the ballerina on stage. Her movements were so elegant, mesmerizing even. With every turn and step she took her tutu bounced. Her arms stretched out with grace. I'm instantly snapped out of my daze when an official looking man comes up to me. "I'm sorry sir but you aren't allowed in here while rehearsals are going on. I must ask you to leave." He said as he turned to open the door for me. "I'm sorry for interrupting sir. I had no idea." I said as I stood from my seat. I walked to the door and took once last glance at the ballerina.

Y/N POV:

After the man had left the theater I ran through my routine nearly a half a dozen more times. Each time my coach giving me more pointers and critiques. As the music stopped and I finished my last variation my coach stood from his seat, "Y/n you need to keep your back straight and your knees pointed on that last part!" My coach shouted clearly tired of me not being able to perfect my solo. I just huffed and wiped my forehead with the back of my wrist. "Can I go get some water?" I said with my hands on my hips. My director sighed, "Yeah, be back in five." He said as he wrote something down on his clipboard. I hurriedly sped walked down the stairs that were on the far end of the stage and headed towards the theater entrance. I took a turn then walked down the long hallway. I stop at the end of the hallway when I see that man who got kicked out of the theater and another man who has long icy blonde hair, they're both sitting down on the waiting chairs outside Mr. Evan's office. I shake my head of any curiosity about the two and hurriedly walk past them to go to Adeline's desk. I notice the short haired boy look up at me as I walked but I continued. "Hey Adeline, could you please get me a water?" I asked to the woman. "Yeah just give me a second." She said with her usual smile, as she stood and went to another room. A couple seconds later she reappeared and had a water bottle in hand. The water bottle had a custom logo on it that said The Royal Opera House in gold letters on a dark red paper. "Thank you Ade, I'll most likely be back soon." I said as I turned around while simultaneously taking a drink of my water. As I turned I practically bump straight into a brick wall.

But it wasn't a wall it was that same blonde boy. And I had now just spilt water all over him. "Oh, i'm sorry! That was my bad!" I said frantically as I tried to wipe the water off of his black button down. "No, no, no, don't worry about it." He said laughing lightly as he grabbed hand to calm me, after a few seconds you let go. "I was just coming to compliment you. I saw you back in the theater and your dancing was truly beautiful." He said as his ice blue eyes practically pierced yours. "Oh...thank you." —I laughed softly—"But my director would say other wise." I said as I began to walk past him, I turned back around to look at him once more to find him with his eyebrows furrowed. "Well it's basically his job to tell me what I'm doing wrong, but it feels impossible to get my routine perfect." I sighed. "Well...regardless of what that oaf thinks I think you dance nothing short of perfection." He said slightly playfully. I let out a small laugh. "Well, I've got to get back to rehearsing. It was nice meeting you...?" I questioned having never learned his name. "Draco." "Draco?" "Draco." He confirmed. "Well it was nice meeting you Draco." I said nodding my head before turning to go back to the theater. "Wait what's your name?" He calls out to me as I was walking away. I turned around once more then gestured to a poster on the wall, then finally walked away.

As I gestured to the poster Draco immediately examined it. It was a picture of you in your sugar plum fairy costume and a title below it. It said, 'Y/n L/n as The Sugar Plum Fairy' Draco let out an airy laugh as he admired the poster when Lucius appeared behind him. "Draco I would like to not have to come look for you as if you were a lost puppy. Mr.Evan's is ready to see us now." He said coldly then turned Draco following behind.

=

You had went back to the theater thoughts of Draco lingering in the back of your head. Draco had went to sit in on the meeting between Lucius and Mr. Evan's. To Lucius that meeting was very important to the future of his shares in the theater, but to Draco it was merely an hour wasted listening to rubbish. You had finally wrapped up your rehearsals for the day and it was time for you to go get food and go home.

DRACO POV:

"Draco you can sit outside while me and Mr. Evan's wrap this up. Don't wander." Lucius spat. I didn't respond he simply just got up and left the room. I sat outside on the chairs until I heard a voice. "Yeah, I'll see you on Thursday?" She said as she walked out of the theater. There she was, Y/n. All of my attention was on her. She was no longer wearing the tutu and leotard. She was now wearing a baby pink off the shoulder knit sweater with grey flared leggings. She has a white knit scarf around her neck and she carried grey bag, what I assume was her ballet stuff. Her hair was in a low bun making her headphones she had in visible.

     When she turned to walk out she paused when she saw me. "Hey, you're still here?" She said softly as she walked up to me while taking out her headphone. "Yeah, i'm just waiting for my father and Mr. Evan's to get out of their meeting." "Well, I could wait with you?" She said as she rocked back and forth on her feet. "Yeah, sure. I don't mind." She sat down next to me setting her bag on her side. "So why are you here? To see Mr.Evans I mean." She said as she looked up at me. "Well I wouldn't say that i'm here to see him. My father is.  Something that has to do with his shares. I honestly don't know. The only thing i've gotten out of coming here was seeing you dance." I laughed a little, and so did she. "I didn't know I was that good." She smiled. "Whatever your director was yelling at you, he truly is wrong. I thought you danced perfect." I said avoiding eye contact with her. I could see her out of the corner of my eye just staring up at me. "Why thank you good sir. I'm glad you liked it." She giggled. "Have you ever seen The Nutcracker?" "Yeah, quite a few times actually." "Oh. Would you like to see it again maybe?" She asked this time not peering up at me, but now fiddling with the loose ends of her scarf. "When?" She stop and looked back up at me. "Uhmm,—she hummed— Opening night would be December 10th, I could get you tickets if you would like?" "Yeah, yeah, although I don't know when I'll see you again?" I asked. She laughing softly, "I guess whenever you want to see me again." She smiled.

DECEMBER TENTH

DRACO POV

Today was the day, the day I get to see her again. I don't know why I'm so...entranced? By her. Something about her just makes me fascinated. Ever since last week she's all I could think about. Of course in order to be able to go see the show I told my parents some bullshit excuse. My father would never let me go to London by myself, especially just so I could go see the ballet. Not only that a muggle girl.

I had made my way to the theatre early so I would be able to avoid all the people there for opening night. I stepped out of the taxi, it was cold the winter air crisp. I entered the building and walked up to the concierge. "One ticket for The Nutcracker, please." I said slightly rubbing my hands together trying to warm them. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid we are all sold out for the night." He said with pity. "What? No, I have to see the show tonight." "Like I said, I'm sorry. But I can sell you a ticket for-" "Oh! Mr. Malfoy I wasn't expecting you so early!" The concierge was interrupted by no other than Adeline. "You were expecting me?" I turned to her. "Well yes? I expected that Ms. L/n made you aware of your visit?" She said with her usual smile. "Well yeah, but- you know what never mind. Why were you expecting me?" "Of course, because she was very adamant that you got the best seat in the house!" She said ushering me down the hall, then to an elevator.

The classical music played lightly in the elevator, the ride up two floors wasn't awkward, it was actually quite pleasant. This was an elevator ride I had been on countless times before, it was nostalgic in a way. The elevator dinged before the large metal doors opened. We were on The Donald Gordon Grand Tier. It was technically the third floor of the theater. She led me to row A which was in the very middle and front. "Ms. L/n was very insisting that you get this specific seat sir. She said it was the best seat in the house and you deserve nothing less!" I stood there for a moment and blinked at the seats in front of me. That feeling of nostalgia had now been explained. I was sitting in the exact same seat my mother would always sit in when we would come to the theater. "Mr. Malfoy, are you okay?" Adeline broke my trance. "Thank you Adeline, for everything." I thanked her as I sat down. "No problem! Feel free to come down to my desk if you need anything!" She smiled before walking away.

I sat there for maybe 30 minutes before hundreds of people started sitting in the theater. Of course by courtesy of Adeline I was able to avoid the crowd. After about another 30 minutes the lights in the theater had dimmed. That's when I heard the oh so familiar tune to the mystical music. There was something about the story of The Nutcracker that always fascinated me. Maybe it was the playful but yet elegant dances that were done. They were so complex but yet so smooth and graceful. Or perhaps it was the fact that I was able to watch a story come to life in front of my very eyes. As I watched the ballet I found myself the same way I was many years ago. Only blinking every few minutes to be sure I didn't miss any parts of the show. My mind fully clear, only focusing on the ballet dancers below. I was entranced by the story all over again.

Now, we were in act II. After Clara and the Prince have slayed the Mouse King, the snowflakes have led them to the Kingdom of Sweets. As the enchanting music transitioned to a more sweet sounding melody it hit me. She was going to be dancing soon. Clara and the Prince arrived to the gates of Kingdom of Sweets. The Sugar Plum Fairy reigns over the Kingdom of Sweets. I sat up in my chair. Then there she was, graceful as ever tip-toing across stage. Her costume was beautiful a light pink bodice and tutu with gold accents. Her hair was elegant and she wore a gold tiara. She was covered in glitter, but what shined the most was her eyes. She was so passionate in the way she danced. Her moves were liquid smooth enchanting the audience. She placed a tiara on Clara's head then commenced a day of festivities in honor of Clara saving the Prince from the mouse king. First came the Chocolate from Spain, then the Arabian Coffee, the Chinese tea, and lastly the sweet French Marzipan.

But then the flowers came, and they preformed a great waltz. The Sugar Plum Fairy came back with her cavalier and did a mesmerizing duet. Although they were doing a duet me and the whole audience could only look at one of them. Her. She danced with a great passion. Not that he didn't. There was just something about her that made you believe that she was born to be on that stage. Born to shine. Even with the light shining down on her, she was the light. Soon after she and her cavalier finished their dance Clara is guided back home. She tosses and turns in her sleep, she wakes up to find out it was a dream? A fantasy. Nothing more.

And Suddenly I was pulled into reality. The audience erupted in roars. Not one person in that theater wasn't clapping. Roses were being thrown onto stage by people sitting on the lower floors. The people around me whistling and cheering. I quickly stood up and headed down to Adeline's desk. "Excuse me, Adeline. I had a delivery made here, did it arrive yet?" I said as I leaned on her desk. "Yes, Mr. Malfoy. Just wait one second while I go grab it. She disappeared into a room before coming out with the custom bouquet I had delivered. Freshly picked Frutteto's. The baby pink roses were dusted with gold glitter, they were perfect. "She's gonna love them you know?" Adeline asked snapping me out of my trance. "Yeah...yeah, I know. Do you know when she'll be out?" "I'd say maybe 30 minutes? In the mean while you're more than welcome to wait here." She said as she sat back down at her desk and started flipping through a book.

I sat there for what seemed like forever. I inspected every flower to make sure they were nothing short of perfection. Just as I was picking off a petal that was too pink to fit in with the rest I saw her. She was already on her way out of the glass doors. I quickly rushed after her, "Y/n, wait!" I yelled after her as I caught up. She turned around her nose being a light shade of pink from the brisk winter air, the soft snowflakes landing in her hair. "Draco, you came? I didn't see you come in before the show?" "I got here early, don't worry I watched the whole show. You were...amazing. Oh, I got you these." I quickly handed her the bouquet, "They're beautiful." Her face lit up, "Perfect, they're perfect." She cradled them in one arm while the other fiddled with the petals. "Thank you." She said with that sweet smile of hers. "My pleasure, I knew you'd like them." I really didn't, I was actually terrified she wouldn't like them. "Hey...would you maybe..." Her eyes glistened in the street lights as she looked up from the flowers, "...would you maybe like to go to dinner with me?" I was a bit taken aback by the sudden question. I paused, "Yeah, I would love to. But it's my treat." "You don't have to i'm the one who invited you." She said lightly laughing. "Well, I would like to treat you after your amazing performance tonight. Where do you wanna eat?" "I know a great place! It's called Bancone, it's an italian place, is that okay?" "Whatever you want is fine with me." I smile. "Okay, uhh, hold on let me call a cab!" She turned and walked to the road. She hailed us a cab.

We both sat in the back of the cab, watching the snow glitter down from the sky. "How far is the restaurant?" I asked turning to her. When I looked at her she was simply smiling down at her flowers. "Oh, we should be there any minute! Actually we're here! Thank you!" She said as she scooted out of the cab. I paid the driver then got out. I was surprised to find she took my hand and led me inside.

We stepped inside and I was taken aback by the olive tree that was planted in the middle of the restaurant. The interior was classy but casual. "Hi! Welcome in! Table for two?" A hostess came up to us. "Yeah, uhm, could we be seated at a window table?" She asked as she dusted off the small pieces of snow she had in her hair. "Of course! Right this way!" The hostess led us to a table in the front of the restaurant. I pulled out her chair for her, "Why thank you good sir." She softly laughed. I sat down. "Can I get you started with any drinks, or would you like a minute?" "Could we get a bottle of the house red? And then I would just like a glass of water." She asked the hostess. "Great choice, and as for you sir?" "I would just like a glass of water, thank you." She handed us our menus then walked away. "What do you think you're gonna get?" I looked up from my menu. "For sure the bucatini, i've been craving it all day." I laugh lightly, "I don't know what I want" I said as I studied the menu, "What do you think?" I looked up at her to find her already looking at me. "I personally think you'll like the duck ragú, I had it last time I came and it was heavenly." She laughed. "Okay I guess it's settled then, wait what about dessert?" "Oo! They have these cannolis! They're covered in hazelnuts you have to try them." Just then a waitress came to the table, "Here is your house red, and waters." She said as she set down our water and presented the bottle.

She opened the bottle with a pop, then filled our glasses. "Thank you" we both said nearly in unison. "Are you ready to order your entrees, or would you like another minute?" "We're ready. I'll have the bucatini and as for dessert we'll do two orders of the hazelnut cannolis." She said as she handed the waitress her menu. "Sure thing! And as for you sir?" She turned to me, "I'll have the duck ragú, that'll be all, thank you." I handed her my menu. "Okay, i'll be back with your food shortly." She smiled then walked away to another table. "You know what I realized?" Y/n said as she twirled the wine in her glass. "What?" "I barely know anything about you, but yet here I am at dinner with you." She tilted her head slightly. "Well, I don't know anything about you either." I laughed, "What do you wanna know?" "Anything! But skip the basic things, I just really wanna know you" She took a sip of her wine. What was I supposed to tell her? That i'm a wizard and that I went to a school to learn sorcery? "I honestly don't know where to start? Just ask me anything, anything." "Mmm, what's your favorite childhood memory?" She said as she took off her scarf.

I took a breath "I would have to say...probably going to see The Nutcracker with my mother." I laughed, she looked up at me curiously. "Ironic isn't it." "Very." "See my father isn't big on...fun. Or anything really. So every year my mother would sneak us out of the house and we would go see the show. As I got older the whole tradition kind of just...stopped. But you know what's crazy?" "Hm?" "The seat that you picked out for me, was the exact same seat my mum would sit in when we would go." She looked at me like I was crazy. "She always said 'it was the best seat in the house' the whole thing felt like a dream." "That's...just...wow. That's a big coincidence huh?" "I know huh, I was so confused. But what about you? What's your favorite memory?" "My grandmother she was absolutely amazing when it came to playing piano. As a little girl she would play the Swan Lake piano arrangement while I danced. We would do this for hours and hours till my mother told us to take a break. I've always loved ballet. What I would give to re-live those memories." She looked out the window and played with the hem of her sleeves as she spoke. "That's...beautiful. So you've been dancing since you were young?" "Yeah, kinda like you my mother took me to see the ballet when I was little. But instead we saw Sleeping Beauty. I was absolutely fascinated by it. For weeks I begged my mother to put me in classes, I guess she just got annoyed of my constant begging and just gave in." She laughed softly. "Well it definitely paid off." I smiled.

We got to know each other all night long. Even though we had already finished our food long ago, we sat there and just talked. About everything. She was just so captivating. Every detail about her was intriguing. Each one of her stories just led me to wanting to know more about her. The way her eyes sparkled a little when she would talk about something she was passionate about. All of her was just perfect. I told her a lot about myself. Maybe more than I should've. Everything about me surrounded the one thing I couldn't tell her. Most of the stories I told her had gaps but I don't think she caught on. I felt almost...bad? For not being able to tell her what could possibly be the biggest detail about me. But seriously how do you just tell someone that. 'Oh yeah, by the way i'm a wizard. And there's millions of other wizards around the world.' And plus even if I wanted to tell her I couldn't. And it was killing me.

We stayed at the restaurant until the waitress told us they were closing soon. "I guess we should get going huh?" She asked as she lightly laughed. "Yeah, I guess so." I slightly frowned. I paid the bill, then we left. We stood on the side walk as the snow continued to fall from the dark sky. Street lamps lit the road, illuminating it with golden rays. She wrapped her scarf around her neck and carried her flowers with both hands. "Could I have your number by the way?" She asked. "Oh, yeah. Here just put your number in and i'll text you later." I handed her my cell. I got a muggle cell phone, specifically for this reason. My father would never approve of me having a device like that. But for her it was worth whatever trouble it could cause. In all reality the reason I asked her to put her number in my cell was because I had no clue how. "Okay, there." She smiled as she handed me back my phone. I looked down, Y/n xx , is what she put as her contact. "I should get going now, I have to be back at the theater early tomorrow." She said as she fiddled with her flowers. I took a breath, "Okay, tonight was really great. When can I see you again?" "Like I said, whenever you want." She smiled, I laughed. She turned out to the road and hailed a cab. "Goodnight!" She yelled out to me before turning back to the cab, she paused, then turned around back to me and ran back to me. She gave me a kiss on my cheek and then a small hug, "Goodnight." "Goodnight." I said a bit surprised. She ran back to the cab and got in. I watched the car disappear down the road, out of sight.

===

Mwah I hope you liked! If you did make sure to reblog and leave a note! <3

[jgroffdaily]

The complete text of Jonathan’s Tony Awards speech:

Thank you.

I grew up in a house surrounded by cornfields in Lancaster County Pennsylvania.

I was raised by my parents Jim and Julie Groff and my brother David and the three of them are sitting right there.

Thank you for letting me dress up like Mary Poppins when I was 3. Thank you for letting me act out scenes from ‘I Love Lucy’ on my 10th birthday. Thank you for always allowing my freak flag to fly without ever making me feel weird about it.

Even if they didn't always understand me, my family knew the life-saving power of fanning the flame of a young person's passions without judgment. I walk through life with an open heart because you let me know that I could.

Thank you to all of my teachers back in Pennsylvania especially Sue Fisher, who told me I could do this for a living.

I moved to New York exactly 20 years ago this year and I got a job waiting tables and became a volunteer for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS and all I wanted was to be a part of this community.

Thank you to everyone involved in Spring Awakening who not only made that dream come true but inspired him to come out of the closet when I was 23.

I’m now 39, and musical theater is still saving my soul.

Maria Friedman, thank you for letting me be your Franklin Shepard in this production of Merrily and allowing me the chance to accept, respect and express both the lightest and darkest parts of myself.

Daniel Radcliffe and Lindsay Mendez, you are more than old friends; you are soulmates and I’m looking forward to watching each other change for the rest of our lives.

Thank you to every member of the extraordinary cast for lifting this Merrily into the spiritual stratosphere.

Thank you to every person working inside the Hudson Theatre. Thank you New York Theatre Workshop.

Thank you Jim, Lonny, Ann and the original creative team of Merrily.

A special thank you to Sonia Friedman, Jim Carnahan, Tom Broecker, Hayley King, Joe Machota and Jenny Tversky. Happy birthday to Rick and Max.

And finally, I just want to say that when I was a kid in Pennsylvania, I used to record the Tony Awards on a VHS tape and watch the performances over and over again.

To actually be able to be a part of making theater in this city and just as much to be able to watch the work of this incredible, incredible community has been the greatest gift and pleasure of my life.

And I thank you, and thank you so much for this honour.

Credits:

Sonia Friedman (lead producer and Maria’s sister), Jim Carnahan (casting director), Tom Broecker (costume consultant), Hayley King (dresser), Joe Machota (CAA agent), Jenny Tversky (publicist), (happy birthday to) Max (Rackenberg, one of the Frank Jr’s in the show).

Jim Walton, Lonny Price and Ann Morrison were the original leads of Merrily on Broadway.