#the more heated the discussion on internet gets

[lucyskywalker]

The more time I pass looking into fandom fights, more I realize people really don’t know  what “nazi” or “facist” really are. They just throw these words as insults because of the drama. And I am not only talking about the amount ridiculous bashing Dany receives.

[snowdroprd-moved]

.

[f0point5]

Lando Norris x reader Masterlist

Only rumours ‘bout my hips and thighs - News of Y/N and Lando’s budding “relationship” hits F1 news

It’s blue, the feeling I’ve got - Rumours about Lando and Y/N heat up. Meanwhile, Y/N is skeptical about Lando’s friendly overtures

You will take the long way - Y/N discusses her secret, and Lando lets out his frustrations with Max

At least I’m trying - Y/N catches up on the new season of Drive to Survive, while Lando makes another effort to befriend her

Gain the weight of you - Y/N ties up loose ends as the stage is set for the relationship to go public

You told your family for a reason - Y/N arrives in Bahrain, and the deception deepens

The jury’s out - Y/N meets more people in Lando’s life with mixed reception, and attends her first race

(They) find something to wrap (their) noose around - Lando is subject to some controversy, which means Y/N has to step in, whole fighting to stay in her comfort zone

You don’t know how nice that is…but I do - Y/N attends the race where she makes an immediate connection with Oscar, and Lando makes an ill-advised move to impress her

You don’t feel pretty, you just feel used - Y/N finds herself in high demand, much to her dismay, as she heads to Australia for the next race

I’m feeling like I don’t know you - Lando’s feelings about how Y/N is spending her time in Australia bubble over

New to town with a made up name - Y/N does a Q&A

Every time you shine, I’ll shine for you - Lando secures an amazing result at the Australian Grand Prix, while neitzens discuss his new relationship.

That old familiar body ache - Y/N is forced to get back to work, which includes seeing Lando

The rust that grew between telephones - Y/N’s campaign debuts while she and Lando are in Japan. Lando searches for answers for what happened in Monaco

It’s hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound - Y/N skips the Japanese Grand Prix and puts her job in jeopardy

Did you see the photos? No, I didn’t but thanks though - Y/N is forced to defend Lando from gossip, while her position as his girlfriend remains precarious

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you aware - Max F weighs in on Lando’s troubles, while Lando finds he and Y/N have a common interest

Lights, camera, bitch smile - Y/N puts on an impressive show at the Grand Prix. Lando’s jealousy gets the better of him, leading to a frank conversation

Don’t you worry your pretty little mind - Y/N reaches out to Lando when he is the subject of online trolling to offer support

I did my best to lay to rest - Y/N and Lando get closer in Miami, but the increased publicity may lead to things being unearthed that Y/N would like to stay buried

I was grinning like (he’s) winning - Y/N watches Lando become a Grand Prix winner

You can’t talk to me when I’m like this - Lando wins the Miami Grand Prix, but a misstep means Y/N is not part of the celebration

I never grew up, it’s getting so old - Oscar steps in to help when Y/N and Lando aren’t speaking

Can (he) see right through me? (I) see right through me - Y/N takes Oscar’s advice and opens up to Lando

Our secret moments, in a crowded room - Y/N and Lando spend time together while Monaco hosts the Historic Grand Prix

They’ll be chasing their tails trying to track us down - Fans speculate when Y/N and Lando are not seen together and she misses the Imola Grand Prix

It’s nice to have a friend - Y/N has a busy week in the South of France, and Lando tries to be supportive as the two plan to keep the rouse going when his family comes to town

I spy with my tired little eye - Y/N attends the Monaco Grand Prix

We might just get away with it - Y/N remains in Monaco with Lando to keep up pretences

Telling me to punish you for things you never did - Lando arrives alone in Canada while the internet finds out Y/N has been spending time with Freddie…and so does Lando.

Love’s a show, but I would die for you in secret - Father’s Day brings Y/N closer to understanding Lando, and letting Lando understand her

Braced myself for the goodbye, (…) but you took me by surprise - Y/N attends the Spanish Grand Prix. After a disappointment, Lando receives some tough love

But God, I love the English - Y/N accompanies Lando to the UK, and he supports her as the quadrant collaboration goes live

[frudoo]

Slasher 141 again, how would they meet their wife? Victim turned pet? Or did she meet them 'normally', or heat me out! An online forum about killers, turned meeting to 'discuss favorites', turned demonstration? Of course, either way, she's theirs now.

I enjoy this au very much sorry 😅

A trivia date night with Johnny turns into something more ;)

Warnings: Dark stuff, obviously (murder, cold cases, etc). Food + alcohol consumption. Fem!Reader.

Sudsnblood: Here. WBU?

     You: I see a mohawk, that you?

     Sudsnblood: Aye.

     Excitedly, you smooth out your dress and make your way over to the man in the corner who’s giving you a little wave. Is it stupid, agreeing to meet with an odd stranger you’ve been bonding with on the internet over fictional killers and real, gruesome murders? Absolutely. Do you care? Absolutely not. After all, he is local, and the pub is having a trivia night with a category both of you are experts in: cold cases. Not to mention how much more handsome he is in person.

     “Hey,” you grin, reaching over the table to place your hand in his and shake it politely.

     Johnny returns your greeting with a charming smile and a confirmation of your name. He only lets go once you’ve nodded, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. 

     “Ah havenae ordered anythin’ yet,” he informs you, pushing a menu your way. “Figured ah’ll get wha’ ye do.” 

     “Mm, got a copycat on my hands, huh?” You tease, catching his eye contact momentarily before moving your gaze back to the list of appetizers. 

     “Ah’m no’ a copycat, ah assure ye,” he grabs the top of your menu and pushes it down to the table so you’ll look at him again. 

     His expression is so serious, leaving no room for confusion or doubt in your mind. You raise an eyebrow and nod slowly. 

     “Got it. What do you think about potato skins for an app?” 

     Trivia takes about two hours, and of course, the two of you won against six other tables who did not have quite the extensive knowledge you and Johnny share. You’re two beers deep and he’s got one more on you, tipsy and flirty.

     “Ah’m gonna call one o’me partners tae come get us,” Johnny explains, wrapping an arm around your waist and guiding you outside the front of the building to wait with him.

     You nod and he pulls a cigarette out of the carton in his pocket, lighting it up and handing it to you. You take a drag while he talks on the phone—to a Simon, you observe—exhaling slowly and watching as the smoke crystallizes in the cold winter air. He’s only on the phone for a few moments before he’s asking for his cig back, blowing the smoke away from you.

     “D’ye trust me?” He asks after a while of silence.

     You nod once again, eyebrows slightly furrowed. Johnny drops the butt of the cigarette on the ground and snuffs it out with the toe of his boot, leaning in until the warmth of his breath ghosts the shell of your ear. It sends goosebumps rising up all over your body, and you shiver, grabbing a hold of his firm biceps through his leather jacket.

     “Wha’ if ah told ye ah’m one o’the killers they were askin ‘bout?” He murmurs into your ear.

     You pull back with an amused grin, expecting him to have a matching expression, laugh and tell you he’s joking. But when you meet his eyes, he’s deadly serious. There’s no hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, just a deadpan gaze that scans along your face, watching for a reaction. Your smile drops and you swallow hard, your breathing rapidly speeding up.

     “I’d say that I believe you, and it doesn’t change my feelings towards you.”

     “Ye’re gonna get along jus’ fine,” Johnny finally smiles, wide enough for an average person to feel a sense of unease, but to you, it just adds to his charm. 

     By the time Simon arrives, Johnny’s got you pinned against the wall with his hands full of your soft tits and his tongue down your throat. Simon chuckles and honks the horn of his truck to alert you both of his presence, giving you a nod of acknowledgement as Johnny hustles you into the backseat with him. 

     “She know?”

     “Aye, she does.”

     Simon nods, adjusting the rear-view mirror so that he can see the two of you better.

     “Good.”

[boreal-sea]

I will never in a million years claim I’m personally immune to being radicalized. I’m certain I could be, given the right circumstances, because we are ALL vulnerable to it.

So let me tell you a time I got frustrated with pro-choicers, briefly became a pro-lifer, and ended up as a pro-choicer again.

Years ago I was on a pro-choice forum. This was circa 2010. I was so active I ended up a moderator. Pro-lifers were “welcome” in the sense that they were, quite frankly, used as punching bags. This was not a place of reasonable debate and discourse. And when I tried to apply the rules equally, I was literally banned from the forums. I’d been expressing empathy for the pro-lifers as, you know, real human beings, and that didn’t fly in this space.

So I went and checked out the pro-life forum. I experienced a period of welcoming from most of the members, and the debate there actually seemed a lot more nuanced than on the pro choice forum. Like, these folks were actually discussing their personal nuanced feelings about exceptions for rape and life of the mother! The pro choice forum had no nuance: abortion was always the mother’s choice (remember, this was 2010. Trans people weren’t even on the forum).

But eventually they turned on me, too. Turns out that they welcome you in, then slowly turn up the heat with the eventual goal of getting you to agree that in no cases is abortion acceptance. Unsurprising, back on the other side. But it’s not like the pro choice forum didn’t do the same thing in the opposite direction: bringing people in with the exceptions, and then convincing people it was acceptable in all cases.

As for what deradicalized me, it was mostly getting doxed by one of the pro-lifers. They really slowed me that as awful and as cruel as the pro-choicers in that particular community had been, stalking someone across the internet would never have crossed their minds as something ok to do. I think.

Now - for the record, I’m 200% pro-choice. I learned a lot from going to the pro-life side, though, and to be quite frank I don’t regret it. The biggest thing I realized was at the end of the day, literally nothing else matters except personal autonomy. That’s the root of it, for me. Do I have an unrestricted right to control my body, or not? And that’s the basis of my feelings behind everything from trans rights to religion.

BUT - and this is big too - I don’t like or support either of the communities I was in at the time. They were both radical, in opposite directions.

[honeyhotteoks]

this night together - chapter fourteen (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter fourteen: what we mean to each other

chapter summary: making amends is hard, moving on is hard, but you have a home now in a way you've never had before. together, you move forward through it all.

warnings/notes: this chapter still deals with the aftermath of the attack, so all previous warnings apply, but i think you'll see we're coming out of it now and into much happier times. this is the start of an absolute fluff fest, and we'll be back to smut in the next chapter. specific warnings for: discussions of physical attack, anxiety, ptsd, consent conversations, past s*xual assault (mentioned in passing), issues with police and the legal system because lbr the cops aren't doing anything good for assault victims, and reader has a triggering moment with her neck but she works through it just fine

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 14.3k

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3

It’s been days. Days of staying safe behind the walls of their apartment, days of dodging calls from your friends, days of cocooned self preservation. They haven’t left you for a single minute. You spent the weekend trading off who’s lap you were cuddled on and bickering over episodes of Single’s Inferno and you’ve never needed anything more. 

Slowly though, things start to shift. 

You’re showered, for one. And Yunho and Mingi both have settled back into their routines as best they can without leaving the apartment. Video games, mindless scrolling, paging through books and cooking balanced meals instead of another day of takeout. 

On Monday, Seonghwa confirms your worst suspicions by texting you a photo of the formal letter he received via Minseok’s attorney. You expect Yunho and Mingi’s are in the mail. Every time your phone chimes you expect it to be the police or some other official legal summons. Your mind has started to turn over every detail of the event with calculated detail, and your internet history stretches long with research. 

By Tuesday, you’ve caved and finally started answering Wooyoung’s texts with more than just single word responses or emoji confirmations that you’re still alive. The moment you do, he takes the opening and runs with it just like you knew he would. 

As you wait for the hot water for your tea to boil in the kettle, you re-read his most recent text again. 

Do you want to get out of the house for a bit? We can try that new spot by the bookstore?

Your stomach feels tight at the idea of going out and you do your best to tap out a reply that you think sounds casual and relaxed - Maybe next time, let’s just catch up and relax here? 

You watch the message send and deliver and in nearly real-time it flicks over to read. Dots appear as he types. 

Sure - his message reads - I’ll be there in an hour

An hour. You shouldn’t be so nervous to see your best friend, but the idea of opening up your little sanctuary to anyone right now feels a little fraught. The kettle whistles, and you hear feet shuffling against the vinyl flooring as Yunho crosses over into the kitchen and you lock your phone and Wooyoung’s messages away so you can focus. 

“Hey,” You murmur, giving him a smile as you pull the kettle off the heat. 

“Hey,” Yunho smiles back, leaning against the opposite counter, “everything okay?” 

“Mhm,” You tell him, just a little white lie. 

“Is Woo still coming by?” He questions.  

“Yeah,” You nod, setting the kettle on a pad so it doesn’t damage the countertop, “he said around an hour,” 

Yunho nods and then slides a bit closer to you, his hand stroking up and down your back once until he settles it on your hip. “Hey,” he says again, “can we talk?”

A nervous pang strikes in your gut, but he doesn’t look upset, so you take a guess at what he wants, “Is it okay that he’s coming?” 

“Wooyoung?” His brows draw together, “Of course, that’s not what I meant,” 

“Oh,” You turn towards him more fully, leaning against the counter with him, “okay, what’s up?” 

“I want to apologize,” He says, swallowing tightly. 

“Apologize,” You blink. 

He nods. 

“Okay,” You can see how whatever he’s about to say is bothering him, the stress under the surface, but you have no idea what he’s sorry for. 

“Listen,” He reaches and takes your hand, pulling you a little closer to him, “I know you know I’m sorry, but I haven’t said it clearly and you deserve that,” 

“Oh,” You relax further into his space until you can feel your bodies brushing together, the warmth radiating off his skin. 

“The way I reacted at the studio after your last heat was wrong,” He says in a rush of air as he laces your hands together, “and I haven’t gotten the chance to really say that,” 

“It’s okay,” You shake your head, soothing him a little, “you don’t have to,” 

“No,” He insists with a squeeze of your fingers, “I do. That day, I was worried and jealous and confused, but I let my anger get the better of me and that’s not something I normally do.”

You squeeze his fingers back, letting him know you’re listening. 

His eyes flick up from your joined hands to your eyes as he continues, “It’s not something I should have ever put on you or something you should ever see,” 

“People get angry,” You start to say. 

He’s firm when he shakes his head, “People get angry, but I don’t get angry at you. Ever.” 

“Yunho,” 

“I yelled at you,” He squeezes your hands, “I cursed at you,” 

“I did the same thing right back,” You remind him. 

“It’s not the same,” He presses, brushing right past your words, “and I’m apologizing because I’m telling you, y/n, it will never happen again.” 

“You think we’ll never have a fight?” You smile, “That’s optimistic,” 

“This isn’t a joke,” He sighs, “please,” 

“I’m sorry,” You tuck closer to him, unlacing your hands so you can snake your arms around his middle, “and I appreciate you apologizing for that fight, but I was upset you were being possessive and emotional after all the cold shoulder, you yelling wasn’t really high on my list of concerns,” 

He’s quiet for a moment, but then he nods, “I’ll get to that in a second, but will you hear me on this one thing?” 

“I’m listening,” 

“I hate to bring it up again,” He grimaces a little, “but I’ve just spent four days watching you jump at every noise around the apartment and wake up every night fucking terrified,” 

Your eyes shoot down. 

“And before I apologize for all the other ways I’ve been an ass to you,” His warm hands settle on your skin, thumb brushing along your jaw, “of which I know there are many,” 

You smile at that. 

“Yelling at you like that,” He sighs, “talking to you like that has been bothering me for months. I need to apologize for it because I need you to know that you’ll never, ever hear it again. Mingi said his peace, but it’s important to me that you know you’re safe with me in every way. If we’re going to do this, I need you to know you can tell me anything, including telling me off when I make mistakes, and I won’t get angry like that again.” 

“I already know that,” You look up, meeting his firm gaze and reaching for his cheek, “and I hope you understand that I know the difference between how you were angry then and what he did and how he spoke to me.” 

“I just had to say it,” He nods, “I would hate it if anything I ever did made you afraid to be honest with me, or made you feel like you’ve been feeling the past few days, I’d never,” 

“Baby,” You cup his cheeks in both hands, holding his eyes so he hears you fully, “I forgive you, and I am not afraid or uncomfortable with you or with Mingi. Not at all.” 

“Good,” He exhales hard, his eyes a little shiny and you press forward to wrap your arms around him and hug him close, his arms closing around your back. 

“If you’re being idiots,” You kiss his chest through the thin fabric of his t-shirt, “I’ll tell you you’re being idiots,” 

He laughs low, the vibration running through your chest, “Good.” 

“And if I’m being an idiot,” You add, “I’m not going to freak out if you get pissed at me or yell at me,” 

“I appreciate that,” He squeezes your shoulders, “but I don’t want to be the guy that yells, that’s not really an alpha stereotype I’ve ever wanted to fit.” 

“Okay,” You nod against him. 

He clears his throat a little roughly and you’re about to pull away but he holds you steady for a moment, “There’s one more thing,” 

Your hand strokes a line down his back, as you hum softly, “Hmm?” 

“I have more to say and to apologize for,” You can feel his heart beating a little faster under your cheek and you stroke his back again, “but I’m still figuring out how to do that, and it might not be fair of me to ask, but I wanted to see if you can be patient with me for that.” 

“Yunho,” You murmur, “what’s going on?” 

“I, uh,” His fingers flex tightly against your skin, “I started seeing someone,”

“Someone?”

“Professionally,” He adds, “Mingi used to and I know it helped. I didn’t think I needed to, but I think we can both agree I am not the best at managing my own emotions here,” 

“Oh,” 

“So,” He breathes, “after our fight, when I finally cooled off and realized what we did I asked him for a referral. I’ve been meeting with her once a week and it’s been helpful, but I’m not ready to apologize to you for the rest of it until I understand why I treated you like that,” 

Emotion fills your chest like a balloon and you nod into him, “Yunho,” 

He clears his throat again, “Sorry,” he says, “this is a little uncomfortable for me to talk about, but I’m working on it,” 

You wriggle out of his arms to find his face again and press up on your tiptoes to catch his mouth, kissing him with as much surety as you can before you lean back, “That means everything to me,” you tell him, “everything. You have all the time in the world from me, okay?” 

“Yeah,” He smiles, “good, okay,” 

“Is it helping?” 

“Definitely,” He nods, “it’s almost like the professionals know what they’re talking about,” 

You smile up at him. 

“I know I mentioned it before,” He adds quickly, “and I won’t press it, but if you do feel like it would be helpful for you too, you can come to me and I can ask my therapist for some numbers for you to call. I’ll even help set up an appointment if you need that,” 

Your chest goes tight at the thought, “I’ll let you know,” 

“Okay,” He smooths a hand up and down your back, “no pressure,” 

“For sure,” You manage. 

His lip quirks up and he presses a long kiss to your forehead as he gives you one more squeeze, “I said I won’t press, don’t panic,” 

“Sorry,” You breathe. 

He makes a noise dismissing that and then steps back, “So,” his eyes are bright again, everything equalizing back to normal with his smile, “you were making tea, can I help?” 

Your shoulders relax, tension bleeding out of you in an instant, “No,” you turn back to the warm kettle, “but can I make you a cup?” 

“Sure,” He pulls two teacups down from the cupboard, “so Woo will be here in an hour?” 

“Mhm,” You tap your phone to light up the screen to check for any other texts.

“Got it,” He nods, “would you feel alright with Mingi and I stepping out for a while?” 

“Out?” 

“I need to run by the studio and check in on things,” He explains, “and we need to get some food in here. I figured we could do that while Wooyoung keeps you company,” 

“Yeah,” Your heart picks up a little at the thought, but you press that feeling down and drop a teabag in each of your cups, “I’ll be just fine,” 

“Good,” He drops another kiss to your hair, keeping his fingers lingering on your skin while you pour hot water into your cups. 

“Do you,” You almost stop the question, but you find the words bubbling out of your mouth before you can second guess, “do you need to leave right away?” 

Yunho smiles wide, taking the kettle from your hands as he shakes his head, “No,”

Your heart eases a little. 

“Let’s have these together,” He nods to the tea and picks up both cups, “we’ll go when Woo gets here,” 

You follow him out into the living room, and he sets the cups down on the table before settling himself into the corner cushions and reaching up for you. It’s easy to take his hand and to melt into the familiar position on his lap, and you let him draw you in close and cuddle you, his arms wrapped securely around you as he nuzzles your cheek with his nose. 

You sigh, resting your hands on his chest and turning your face a little to catch his mouth in a kiss. 

He hums pleasantly against your mouth, “Is it strange to say that I’ll miss you while we’re out?” 

You smile, shaking your head, “No,” 

“Will you miss us?” He pecks your lips again. 

“More than I want to admit,” 

“You know,” Yunho smooths his hands over your body to rest in their familiar homes, one on your thigh and the other curled around your waist, “I hate what happened, and I wish I could take all the bad memories away, but I’m also so glad you’re here with us,” 

“I know what you mean,” You nod. 

“The months we spent apart were terrible,” He confesses, kissing you softly. 

“We’ll have to make up for lost time,” You agree quietly. 

“A proper date,” He smiles, “or a vacation somewhere warm?” 

“Mm,” You hum, thinking of being stretched out on a beach somewhere with your boys on either side of you, “perfect,”

“I’ll think on that,” He runs a hand down your hair and relaxes back into the couch, “you deserve something nice,” 

Twisting on his lap you reach for both of your teacups before settling back into the same, comfortable position, “I think it would just be nice to come over here without having something traumatic happen beforehand,” 

He frowns a little. 

“I’m kidding,” You nudge him softly, “kind of,” 

“I know,” He nods, “still,” 

“Yeah,” You quietly agree, taking the first sip of your tea. 

Yunho takes a sip too, and then hums a short, quick laugh, “This smells like you,” 

“Like me?” 

“The tea,” He takes another sip and nods, “you smell just the same, but sweeter,” 

“Do you like it?” You find yourself asking. 

Yunho’s head cocks slightly to the side, a line between his brows, and then he says, “Have I not made it clear how much I love your scent?” 

Your cheeks heat and he smiles at the way your skin reddens. 

“Sweetheart,” He shifts, pulling you in while still being careful of the tea, pressing warm, lingering kisses over your jaw to the hollow of your ear, “if I could drink you instead, I would.” 

You swallow, heat curling in your belly. 

“Soothing tea,” He murmurs, “sweet honey,” he adds with a kiss, “and the willow is sharp and fresh. You wake me up and calm me down all at the same time,” 

Your pulse quickens, and slowly your head drops to the side, extending the column of your neck to his lips. 

He takes it slow, remembering the way you jerked back in bed a few nights before, and he’s careful not to press too firmly or give you any inclination that he’s going to touch you with anything but his lips. 

“You smell like home,” He murmurs, his hand coming up to cup your head in his wide palm, kissing just a little lower still. 

Your muscles are stiffening up at the feeling of his mouth getting lower towards your exposed gland and your fingers tighten on his shirt where you hold yourself steady. 

“I’ve got you,” He whispers, “stay with me,” 

You nod, just a little, enough to tell him not to stop, “W-what else?” 

He smiles against your throat, “Well,” he kisses again, to punctuate his words, “when you’re happy, really happy or excited, there’s lemon too,” 

Your breath feels staggered, thready, and you focus on the feeling of him and the warmth of the teacups against your thigh. 

“When you want us,” He takes a deep inhale, sighing hot against your skin, “it’s all honey, thick and syrupy. After your heat I smelled that honey here for weeks,” 

You feel a whine building a little in your throat, and you bite down on your lip to keep it buried. Your body feels like it’s fighting itself with every touch of his mouth, hot arousal knots up at his scent mingling with yours and at his words, but the isolated touch alone has you fighting little flashes of a place that isn’t here and isn’t him. 

“I’ve got you,” He repeats, “I love you,” 

The reply settles on the tip of your tongue, but then he presses one last closed-lipped kiss directly over your gland and withdrawals entirely. You blink hard, a shudder running up your spine. 

“Alright?” He checks, smoothing his hand down your hair again. 

You nod, letting your fingers unknot from his shirt while you collect yourself. 

“Hopefully that answers your question,” He clears his throat softly. 

You start to nod, but the sound of the bathroom door opening cuts through the moment and you start, tea spilling over the lip of your cup onto your fingers. 

“It’s Mingi, baby,” He assures you. 

“I know,” You have to tear your eyes off the hallway though. 

His mouth is set in a concerned little line, and you know he’s probably thinking about your conversation in the kitchen again, but he lets it lie and doesn’t push it, just like he promised. 

Mingi appears a moment later, a towel slung around his hips and his shoulders and hair wet from the shower. He smiles widely when he sees you both, “What’s going on in here?” 

Yunho raises up his cup, “Tea,” he smiles, “nothing much,” 

“Mm,” Mingi nods and stretches, “nice,” 

“Will you be ready soon?” Yunho asks, “Wooyoung will be here in a bit,” 

“Yeah, sure,” He confirms and then glances at you, “you’re good with us going out?” 

“I’m good,” You confirm. 

“I’ll stay if it would make you feel better,” Mingi adds, “I can hide in the bedroom and listen to music or something if you want privacy,” 

You love them both so much in this moment you feel like your chest might crack right open on its own, and you shake your head at him with a smile, “No, I have to get comfortable at some point, it might as well be while Woo is here with me,” 

He nods, “Well, we won’t be too far, just call us and we’ll turn around.” 

“Thank you,” You reach up to take his hand and he twines his fingers with yours immediately. 

Yunho shifts, pressing his lips against your shoulder, “Are you and Woo going out anywhere?” 

He’s clearly trying to be subtle, but you hear the anxious note in his voice and it occurs to you that they might be just as nervous leaving you as you are staying here without them. 

You shake your head, “No, just staying here,” 

“That��s good,” Mingi adds a little too quickly, “if you do go out, would you let us know?” 

“I will,” You promise them, “but you don’t have to worry,” 

“It’s in our nature to worry over you,” Yunho sighs, “but I think we’re both trying not to be overbearing about this whole thing,” 

“Trying,” Mingi shrugs, “but also the idea of not knowing where you are feels like it might give me hives,” 

You laugh at the image, easing back into Yunho’s chest. 

“To be clear,” Yunho shoots Mingi a look, “that’s in a nice ‘we care about you’ way, not in a ‘controlling boyfriend’ kind of way,” 

“Relax,” You tell them both, “I get why you want to know, it’s the same reason I want to know where you are.” 

“Studio first,” Mingi offers without you asking and your chest warms, “then groceries, and then I want to swing by that cafe that has that caramel cheesecake you like, then home,” 

“Don’t say we don’t have to,” Yunho adds, “we want to,” 

You smile as he takes the words right out of your mouth. 

“Plus, I want some,” Mingi says with ease. 

You’re not used to this type of relationship yet, having alphas of your own who actually want to be with you and take care of you, who worry for you and feel for you in all the deep nervous ways you feel for them. You hush the nagging voice in your mind that tries to tell you not to show them how much you need them, the voice that doesn’t want you to jump too fast, you already know what you get by listening to that voice. 

Instead you ask them what you want to ask, “How long do you think you’ll be gone?” 

“Two hours,” Yunho offers, “maybe three at the most,” 

“Okay,” You exhale, weight dropping away from your shoulders, “that’s perfect,” 

“We’ll let you know,” Mingi adds, “and if you need anything special while we’re out, we can stop,”

You shake your head, “I’m fine,” You assure them, “a little anxious, but you know, it’s good for me.” 

Mingi smiles warmly, brushing his hand over your cheek and tilting your face up with his thumb and forefinger on your chin, “We’re a phone call away,” 

“I know,” You nod. 

Yunho sighs as Mingi’s hand drops away, and he kisses your shoulder again, “It’s funny,” he says, “I really don’t want to leave you,” 

“We did just spend three months not seeing each other and in a state of constant relationship limbo,” You point out and give him a squeeze, “we really went from nothing to a whole lot of something fast,” 

“Not too fast?” Mingi checks, trying to sound casual. 

“No,” You say, “and even if it is, I don’t care,” 

“We’ve always felt right together,” Yunho adds, “we’re just letting ourselves enjoy it now,” 

He’s never said something so true. 

Mingi gets dressed and collapses onto the couch next to both, pushing closer into your space with Yunho until you’re both practically on his lap, but it works. You stay knit close together until there’s a knock on the door and then it’s fast kisses goodbye and big hugs from your best friend, and before you can really process it you’re without them for the first time in days. 

Your stomach is fluttering, a nervous quiver deep in your gut that you really don’t want Wooyoung to over-analyze. A moment later you find yourself back on the couch in the warm spot Yunho left, wrapping yourself in the blanket you had all shared the night before. You can smell them on it, earthy, warm, and sweet. 

Wooyoung watches as you start to relax, and he takes a seat right next to you to keep close, a closed smile on his lips. 

You can’t believe you miss them already. 

They must miss you too though, because Mingi only makes it a scant ten minutes before he texts you, his message lighting up your phone - Forgot to say I love you - I love you.

“What?” Wooyoung nudges you under the blanket. 

You pass your phone to him and he reads the message, his eyebrows shooting up high, “I leave you alone for a few days and you’re all saying ‘I love you’s?” 

You grab the phone back and tuck it away, “That’s the thing about life changing trauma,” you laugh, “it really accelerates the big feelings,” 

Wooyoung nods, keeping things light, but finds your hand on the back of the couch so he can hold it. 

“Also we’re not all saying it,” You confess, “they’re saying it,” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean they’ve told me,” You explain, “the day after the studio we had this big talk,” 

“Don’t tell me they put all that shit on you like that,” He wraps his hand around yours, “y/n,” 

“Not like that,” You shake your head, “it’s actually hysterical, they thought that Seonghwa and I have been dating,” 

His eyes go wide, “What?” 

“It’s truly the longest story of miscommunication,” You tell him, “at this point I think someone should write a book about me and make it a romantic comedy,” 

“Erotica,” Wooyoung smirks. 

“Shut up,” You swat at him. 

“There have been too many good orgasms for a romcom,” He shrugs. 

You roll your eyes, “Anyways, it turns out the whole not talking period while you were all away was just me pining but feeling like I fucked it up, and them pining but thinking I had moved on with Hwa,” 

“Damn,” 

“But when they realized that they were wrong about that,” You continue, “we just got it all out there,” 

“And they love you,” He smiles a little, “and they actually said it,” 

“Yeah,” You soften into the cushions. 

“I hate to ask the obvious,” He squeezes your hand, “but if you’re so happy about that, why haven’t you told them? You do love them?” 

“So much,” The words fly out like you’re defending something, and you run a hand through your hair as you get your real thoughts steady, “I do, Woo, so much. We’re scent matches,” 

“I know,” He nods warmly. 

“You do?” 

“Anyone with eyes can see that,” Wooyoung smiles, “well, apart from you three.” 

“Thanks,” 

He nudges your thigh with his foot under the blanket, “Honestly, though, after what happened I could see it on them. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and they kept flanking you, watching you like you might disappear,” 

A memory of the studio plays like a clip in your mind, the way they held you between them, the three of you against everything. You nod, “They’ve been doing that for days,” 

“Which…” Wooyoung trails off, trying to guess where your head is, “you’re happy about?” 

“I am,” You nod emphatically, “and I love them, I just… I can’t get the fucking words out of my mouth,” 

He sobers a little, sliding closer to you on the couch so he can draw your legs over his lap and give you exactly the kind of comfort you need, “I’m listening, babe, talk to me,” 

“I don’t know why,” You hold his hand tighter, “but every time they say it, and I think I’m going to say it back, I’m right back in that room with Minseok’s teeth on my neck and I can’t,” your chest feels tight, “I can’t get it out,” 

His eyes soften, empathetic in the way that only he can be, “Does being in love with them scare you?” 

“No!” You pull your hand back from his. 

“Babe,” He takes your hand back and holds tight, “I’m not saying they scare you, I’m saying does being in love, being vulnerable like that scare you?” 

Your shoulders drop, “A little, but,”

“But?” 

“I thought about it for three months,” You argue, “I had it rehearsed, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and the big reveal was supposed to be the ‘I love you’ part not the ‘I’m sorry’ part,” 

“Your plans on that kind of fell apart when that asshole tried to claim you,” Wooyoung pushes back a little. 

“Yeah, no shit,” A flurry of anger bubbles in your belly. 

He nods, “And now you’re off kilter,” 

“You could say that,” 

“You rarely do anything without thinking it through,” He offers, this thumb drawing a comforting line over your palm, “and your plan got fucked, and you’re emotionally vulnerable, and traumatized, and stressed. You feel like you’re out here without a life vest,” 

His words stun you silent. 

“And this thing you worked up in your mind for three months is now totally derailed,” He continues, “am I on the money?” 

You nod. 

“Can I ask you something?” He says. 

You nod again. 

Wooyoung asks this question softly, his voice quiet and gentle, “Do you want to bond with them?” 

Your heart thumps in your chest. 

“It’s just you and me,” Wooyoung soothes you, “and whether or not you bond with them is your choice, okay? But, babe, is that something you think you’ll want?” 

Suddenly you remember the feeling of your heat with them. The way you begged for them, the way it felt so right and so sure that you belonged to each other. You remember how your mind spun imaginary futures that all ended the same way. 

Silently, you nod. 

“Loving them isn’t bonding,” He murmurs, “you can just love them for now at your own pace.” 

Tears prick at the back of your eyes, “What if I can never do it? They can barely touch my neck without me falling apart, what if I can never take a real claim?” 

“Oh, babe,” He pulls you towards him, crushing you to his chest, “I wish you called me earlier, you shouldn’t be thinking like this,” 

“It was so terrible,” You confess into his shoulder, “I can’t even tell you, I don’t even know how to explain,” 

“You don’t have to,” He hushes you, a hand stroking up and down your back, “and I don’t know if this is going to help or hurt, but I know right now you feel like there’s no way you’d ever be able to take a claim without it being scary and awful, but someday you might be able to without even thinking of him.”

A few hot tears escape your eyes. 

“And I know I give Yunho and Mingi shit,” He adds, “but you know that both of them would rather die than do something to hurt you or scare you,” 

“And if I can never bond?” You manage. 

“Then I’d say thank god your scent matches are two men who would never, ever push you into a bond you weren’t ready for,” He says, squeezing you tight, “and I think if you asked them, they’d tell you that they’d rather be with you unbonded and happy than bonded and in pain.” 

“You’re right,” You wipe away the wetness on your cheeks, “I know you’re right,” 

“They’re not going to try to push you into a bond just because you love each other,” He lets you lean back but he slides his hand back into yours, “especially not now,” 

“I know that,” You sigh, “rationally, I was just,” 

“I’m telling you, I get it,” He eases you, “sometimes you go through something and you think a part of you is wrecked forever, that you’ll never be able to do something again or feel normal again, but you will. I promise,” 

You know the truth of him so suddenly you can’t stop the words, “Woo,” you feel your heart beating faster, “did something happen?” 

“A long, long time ago,” He says softly, “and today’s not the day for that story, but I’m telling you it does get better and it does soften in your memory and someday your alphas are going to touch your neck and you won’t even think about it, it just won’t be there anymore.” 

Grief and relief mingle in your gut at his words, and you want to ask him more, to be there for him like he’s been there for you but you can see it in his face, today isn’t the day for that story. 

You squeeze his hand, “I love you, Woo,” 

“I love you too,” He assures you. 

Silence sits between you for a moment while you turn over his words, and though you can’t imagine the day he’s describing, you still believe him. You have to. You don’t know what happened to him or when, but you’ve never met someone as bright and open and happy as him, and you have to hold onto that truth. 

You look down at your combined hands, “Yunho offered to make an appointment with a therapist for me,” 

“Say yes,” Wooyoung replies without a thought, “I waited years and I wish I hadn’t,” 

“Yeah?” 

“Does he have a contact?” Wooyoung asks, drawing your eyes back up, “I have some options for you if not,” 

“He said he can ask his therapist for a referral,” 

“His therapist?” Wooyoung grins, “I knew I liked him,” 

“You’ve been friends for years,” You nudge him. 

“Liked him for you,” He corrects, “that’s different,” 

“Yeah, yeah,” 

“My best friend deserves an alpha who is fully therapized and capable of complex emotions,” Wooyoung says with confidence, “nothing less.” 

“Don’t mention that I told you,” You add quickly, “he told me that in confidence, it just slipped out,” 

“I wouldn’t,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “that’s private. But between you and me, I’m glad to hear it.” 

“Me too,” You sigh. 

“And as far as you going?” Wooyoung circles back to the real question at hand, “Say yes, the sooner the better. If Yunho’s offering to help set it up, let him. Making that call is hard, and if he can make it easier, just say yes.” 

“Okay,” You sigh, your shoulders dropping. 

“And tell them how you’re feeling about bonding,” He adds, “trust me.” 

“Maybe,” You say, “I know you’re right. We’re just moving so fast,” 

“So slow down,” He offers. 

“I don’t know if I want to,” You admit, warmth and nervous energy filling your chest, “it feels right like this, I just don’t know if I can handle a claim,” 

“Tell them,” He reiterates, “don’t let them stumble into that one, they might hurt you without even knowing it if they bring it up sooner than you’re ready for.” 

“Right,” You nod, “you’re right,” 

He huffs a laugh, “Usually am,”

You flick his arm, rolling your eyes, so grateful at him for helping you work through something this hard while still keeping you smiling. You should have called him earlier, he’s right about that too. 

You let silence stretch around you both for a moment, and then something occurs to you. 

“Do you know anything about the charges Minseok is filing?” You run a hand through your hair, “Not to bring up yet another pleasant subject,” 

Wooyoung snorts a little air through his nose and shrugs, “I probably know what you know, have you talked to Hwa?” 

You shake your head. 

“At all?” He seems surprised. 

“I have,” You correct, “but it was quick and we were all on the call. I haven’t been to my place to see if there’s any mail, but I’d guess Yunho and Mingi will get a summons soon.” 

Wooyoung nods, “That’s what the police said,” 

Your eyebrows raise, “You talked to the police?” 

“Seonghwa did,” He clarifies, “and he gave San and I the run down.” 

“Why is no one telling me what’s going on?” You exhale heavily. 

“Because last we heard you were having nightmares,” Wooyoung rests a hand on your folded legs, “and we don’t have a lot of information to give, and I don’t think any of us want to cause you more stress than you need.” 

“Do Yunho and Mingi know?” You press. 

“Not exactly,” Wooyoung says, “though, I guess Seonghwa might be telling them now if they stopped by the studio,” 

You wait for him to continue, but you’re a little relieved at least that your boys aren’t keeping anything from you directly. 

“Seonghwa spoke to the police who explained the charges. Minseok is alleging that the guys misunderstood what they saw and ignored his attempts to explain, and that they used unnecessary force intervening on your behalf.” He says it plainly. 

“Misunderstood?” You repeat the word. 

“I know,” Wooyoung nods, “we all know, but that’s what he’s saying. The police advised Seonghwa to get an attorney and let him know that further charges were being filed. I think we can safely assume that’s Yunho and Mingi, maybe San if he’s really going after it.” 

“Maybe me too,” You add. 

“Maybe,” He nods, “but that would be tough to prove I think,” 

“Hmm,” Your eyes feel a little unfocused. 

“Hey,” Wooyoung gets your attention with a squeeze, “we don’t know anything yet, and we thought this might happen. It doesn’t change the truth and it doesn’t mean any of them regret what they did to make sure you were safe, okay?” 

“Yeah,” 

“Tell me you understand,” He presses, “because I’m not letting you put this one on yourself,” 

“I do, I understand,” You nod, “it just sucks,”

“That’s fair,” He gives you a soft smile, “but it’s going to take a lot more than this to fuck us over,” 

“Yeah,” You murmur, “you’re probably right.” 

Wooyoung says something else but you hardly hear it, in the back of your mind all you can think of is that first night at the hospital. The detectives who interviewed you were kind, but bordered on dismissive, and you know Minseok and his family have deeper pockets than you do. You have to figure this out, you have to.

  “Babe?” Wooyoung nudges you. 

“Yeah,” You snap up, coming back to the present moment and letting those anxieties fade into the background until you can really think them through, “sorry,” 

“It’s okay,” He soothes you. 

Your phone buzzes on your lap again and you pull it up to see the message. It’s Mingi again - Budae Jjigae for dinner, ask Wooyoung if he wants to stay? We’ll have plenty

It’s like he felt your anxiety from miles away and you can feel the tense knot of your shoulders unlocking. You send back a quick heart emoji and then look back up to your friend, “You want to stay for dinner?” 

He smiles, “Who’s cooking?” 

“Mingi,” You tell him, “he’s been on a comfort food kick for me,” 

Wooyoung smiles, “I’ll stay,” 

“Great,” You tap out a reply to Mingi letting him know and take a big sigh. 

“They make you happy,” Wooyoung says, “it’s nice to see,” 

“It’s nice to feel,” You tell him, “after all this time, and after everything,” 

“You deserve it,” He murmurs. 

You smile, a little tease at the corner of your mouth when you nudge him, “So do you, and speaking of,” 

His face lights up fast, “I wasn’t trying to bring my too-good mood over here if things weren’t going well,” he sighs, “but now that I know you’re all in love,” 

“So you and Yeosang?” You turn the conversation to something so much happier, and feel lighter the second you do. 

“It’s so good,” He gushes, head falling back against the cushions, “he’s kind of quiet, kind of hard to get to know at first, but y/n, he’s so funny,” 

“Yeah?” You smile. 

“And smart,” He adds, “and considerate, he’s always getting me coffees or refilling my water, just like, those little things,” 

“Wow, look at you,” You squeeze his hand, “serial dater of alphas, turned into a blushy mess over a funny, smart, considerate beta,” 

“He’s packing like an alpha, I’ll say that,” Wooyoung grins wolfishly. 

You smack his chest, “Woo! Literally that is too much information,” 

“Please,” He rolls his eyes, “I share a locker room with your boyfriends, I know what you’re working with,” 

You feel your face flush red. 

“Cute,” He teases. 

“So,” You divert, “does Yeosang feel as strongly?” 

His smile drops a little, “I mean,” he says, “I think so? But he’s not really an oversharer,” 

“Have you told anyone else?” You try to be casual about that question, but if you’re being honest you’re dying to know where things will land with San and Seonghwa. 

Wooyoung shakes his head though, “Not yet, but I think when everything calms down I might have him pick me up at the studio or something? I want you to meet him and I want everyone to know, I just,” 

“I get it,” You assure him, “you go at your own pace.” 

“Yeah,” He sighs. 

“Just don’t follow my lead,” You smile, “if you like him, don’t run away in a panic,” 

“Noted,” He laughs. 

He looks so happy, bright from the inside in a way that matches his sunny scent, and you think he’s not far from sharing ‘I love you’s of his own at this rate. 

You squeeze his hand again and catch his attention back, “You really look so happy,” you tell him. 

“I am,” He sighs, “he’s exactly what I needed,” 

You smile, and then push his legs to the side, “Move over, I know you have pictures, you’re holding out,” 

He laughs sharply, head falling back but letting you manhandle him a little so you can snuggle into his side. Wooyoung tugs the blanket around you both and pulls out his phone, “Fine,” 

“Like it’s a burden to show your best friend pictures of your hot new boyfriend,” You smack his chest, “come on,” 

Wooyoung drops his arm around your shoulders until you’re slotted together on the corner of the couch, but he still hasn’t lit up his phone. You’re about to nudge him again, but then you feel him press a soft kiss to your hair. 

“You know,” He says softly, “when Sannie called me and told me what happened, I just felt so sick,” 

You find his other hand under the covers and lace your fingers together, “I’m okay,” 

He nods, sighing into your skin, “I just want you to know,” he says, his voice a little tight, “you mean so much to me, and I’ll be grateful to them forever for stopping him,” 

You blink back a few tears and nod, “I am okay, though,” 

He nods again and clears his throat, “I know,” 

“I think you’re avoiding my questions about Yeosang,” You squeeze his hand tightly, an acknowledgement of his emotions and his words, while steering the conversation back to happier topics. 

“You’re right,” He laughs, “you caught me.” 

“Come on,” You nudge him again, pushing down the little swell of emotion that his words brought up. 

“He’s not really a selfie guy,” Wooyoung slides his finger across his phone screen until he finds Instagram and then navigates to his new man’s page, “but, I don’t know, I think you’ll like his vibe.” 

Your face cracks into a wide smile when you see the profile, clearly that of an artist, a photographer. The first post on his page is of Wooyoung, though you’d have to know Wooyoung well to know it. He’s walking away from camera through a dark Itaewon street, the lines of his body accented by the neon club signs. 

“Oh, Woo,” You relax against him and open that photo to see it larger, “he really likes you,” 

He snatches the phone away, a little pink in his cheeks as he rushes to downplay the truth of what you can see plain as day, and you fight to get back the phone, your cheeks starting to hurt from how much you’ve been laughing. 

You and Wooyoung stay like this for ages, warmly locked together as you swap stories and funny things on both your phones. By the time your phone chimes with another text from Mingi, at least two hours have gone by.

Almost home! His message reads. 

Your chest feels warm, your heart whole at the words. 

“They’ll be back in a minute,” You tell Wooyoung as you set your phone aside. 

“Perfect,” He grins, “so exactly how much teasing can I get away with before you get mad?” 

You fall apart again into laughter, happy tears stinging at your eyes. You don’t hear the front door open at first, but when you finally look up you see them standing frozen in the doorway with such softness in their expressions. You feel the words bubble up at the sight of them, but again they stay resting at the tip of your tongue.

Wooyoung rolls his eyes and pushes off the couch, “Alright, alright stop making heart eyes at each other and tell me what’s in the box,” 

Your eyes flick down to the large white box in Mingi’s hand, the perfect cheesecake nestled inside waiting just for you. Wooyoung takes a few grocery bags out of their hands and heads off to the kitchen, and just like that your night falls together naturally. 

You don’t think about Minseok again until later that night. For a beautiful, blissful four hours you just laughed and ate and relaxed with your best friend and your boyfriends, and he doesn’t enter your brain at all. 

It isn’t until you’re lying in bed alone with your thoughts, Yunho and Mingi deep asleep on either side of you, that you realize what you have to do. 

In the morning you wake from a dreamless sleep, and you start to put your plan in motion. You slip out of bed and leave them to their rest, light only just stretching its way through the Seoul skies outside. Seeing Wooyoung made you feel lighter in a way that you can’t explain, and within minutes you’re scrawling out a note, stealing Mingi’s key, and lacing up your sneakers. 

Out for a walk, be back in a little while, don’t worry too much x

You leave it on their kitchen counter and you hope it’s enough to keep them from looking for you. You need a little space from your own scared reflection in the mirror, and a new perspective on the plan you’ve been turning over since your head hit the pillows last night. 

The note isn’t a lie, strictly speaking, you are out for a walk, but you also know if you told them exactly where you were on a walk to, they'd worry. They wouldn’t just worry, they would have insisted on coming with you, but this is something you have to do alone. 

You take the long way to the hospital down the river path, letting the cool day calm your mind and keep you centered. You go over in your mind all the things you want to say to him when you see him, assuming you actually make it into his room. You wonder how hard it will be to convince him. You wonder if you’ll even be able to get a single word out of your mouth. 

You have to try. 

Yunho’s words from yesterday morning in the kitchen sink into you. The tenderness in his eyes when he mentioned how jumpy you’ve been around the apartment. You hadn’t even realized it, but now you feel it in your shoulders and your stomach with the sound of every opening door, every squeak of a shoe on vinyl flooring. Everytime you look up into a mirror you expect to see a face over your shoulder, to feel hands on your hips.  

Minseok had taken so many little things from you in the span of three minutes. 

You need to take something back. 

Every step leading into the hospital is heart pounding and nerve wracking, stress inducing on a level you’ve never experienced, but standing in front of reception you suddenly feel an overwhelming calm. Your mind is clear, operating on something wholly unconscious and you don’t know where you’ve mustered this feeling from, but you let it take you. 

You give over Minseok’s full name and provide the kindest smile you can to the woman behind the desk,“I’m his sister,” you tell her. The lie rolls right off your tongue, so clean and easy you surprise yourself. 

“Oh,” The nurse nods, “well visiting hours don’t start until eleven,” 

“I have work,” You counter, softening your face, “I’m sorry, but do you think you could make an exception? I’ll be very quick, I just want to see him for a few minutes before I have to run,” 

She considers it, and you know you have her the minute she checks the nurse’s station to see who else is there with her before she breaks a rule, “Alright, but just be quick, five minutes,” 

“Thank you so much,” You smile, “really, you’re so kind,” 

She waves you off, glancing around her again, “He’s in 305, the third door down on your left when I open the doors,” 

“Thank you,” 

She presses a button on the wall and the lock springs free, opening the heavy security door to your side. With one last smile and deeply grateful bow, you slip through the door and make it through into the hospital hallway where you are most definitely not supposed to be. 

Third door on the left. 

You have to be quick, not so you don’t get caught, but so you don’t chicken out. If you stand in this hallway and let yourself really think about what you’re doing, you’ll turn right around and go home. Steeling yourself, you rush forwards and find the door to 305 and with a deep breath you slip inside. 

Private rooms are expensive, that thought occurs to you as you shut the door tightly behind you. That fact, plus the reality that he’s already talking about pressing his own charges, tells you Seonghwa was right, he has some kind of family money. You hope that when you turn around and actually face the room you won’t have to contend with his mother or father or god forbid some girlfriend you know nothing about. You need him to be alone. 

Blissfully, the room is quiet, the only sounds are medical and simple. With your palms flat against the door you take a deep breath, and if Minseok is awake he says nothing, makes no sound, while you gather the nerve to do this. 

Finally, you turn. 

He is awake, studying you with a careful expression, but then your eyes flick over him. He’s more than injured, he’s completely incapacitated. You catalog it all quickly - his leg suspended in an elevating sling, ankle wrapped up tight, wrist sprained and in a brace, his face is bruised and battered and you realize in seconds that his broken jaw is wired shut. He has an oxygen cannula tucked into his bandaged nose, and you remember that his ribs are broken too. 

You wonder which of your boys delivered each piece of punishment. 

Your mouth feels dry, and your pulse is quickening, the sight of him so close is enough to induce panic but he can’t really do anything to you in this state so you have to just be brave. You push yourself off the wall and walk to the end of his hospital bed, “Hey,” 

He gestures to his jaw and shrugs to communicate that he can’t really talk. 

“I know,” You nod, “I heard.” 

It’s strange to be here with him like this when last week you were working side by side. It’s bizarre to suddenly feel this bubble of uncomfortable space and distance, and to feel the fear underneath it all. 

He gestures towards you with his bandaged hand and you know he’s asking why you’re here. 

“I heard about the counter charges,” You came here with a purpose and you have to stick to it, “and I came here to ask you to drop them.” 

He shakes his head and looks down at himself and then back up to you. 

“After what you did?” Anger curls up in your belly, “I think they took it pretty easy on you.” 

He huffs, a puff of air from his closed lips. 

“Listen,” You try, “you and I both know what you tried to do, and whatever your excuse is, it doesn’t matter. If they hadn’t gotten you off me… I guess what I’m saying is do the right thing now. You said you were sorry, just drop these charges and we can all move on.” 

His eyes harden and he shakes his head. 

You thought he was apologetic after, coming to his senses and realizing in the haze of his rut he almost broke someone’s mind, but now you’re starting to think he was just pleading for his own beating to stop. 

“You won’t consider it?” You ask, stomach clenching tightly. 

He shakes his head again and points to his injuries. Jaw, ribs, leg. 

You want to hit him yourself, so suddenly that your fingers curl tight into fists, “You tried to fucking claim me because I wouldn’t go out on a date with you, and you think you’re the victim here?” 

He seems irritated by your question, and he reaches for something on the tray table to his side. He pulls up a small whiteboard and marker, clearly given to him by hospital staff to communicate, and he wipes away the words that were there to write out his message to you. 

I’m the one in a hospital bed.

“You bastard,” The words just slip out, “why do you think? They put you here for a fucking reason, Minseok,” 

He wipes the message away and writes something else. 

Keep your alphas on a leash.

You’ve never understood the phrase ‘seeing red’ before, but now it’s meaning is crystal clear, “You should keep yourself on a leash.” 

He huffs. 

“Using tone to submit an omega is illegal, Minseok,” You round the corner of the bed, “the prison time for something like that is long. It’s not even just assault, I think that’s something like three or four years? But using tone… claiming against an omega’s will? That’s irreparable damage. I wonder how many charges they’d stack on top in court? Psychological trauma? Sexual assault?” 

His eyes darken and he wipes the board again, his marker squeaking roughly against it as he angrily writes out the next message. 

I never touched you like that.

“You would have,” You shake your head, “as soon as I was your nice obedient omega and couldn’t say no.” 

He stares daggers, but says nothing. 

“They might be able to prove intent,” You tell him, “throw a few more years on top for good measure. How old do you think you’ll be when they let you out? Do you think a dance studio would hire a forty year old man?” 

His face pales, he looks sick suddenly. 

“You’ll drop the charges,” You tell him, “and when you do, I’ll drop mine.” 

His eyes widen. 

“You’ll never set foot in the studio again, and you’ll go find another job somewhere else.” 

His eyes skim over you, trying to gauge your honesty. 

“Do you understand me?” You don’t know what’s possessing you, what’s holding you up so you can get these words out, but you’ve never felt more sure. 

He says nothing. 

You lean in closer, close enough that if he was uninjured he could easily have you back in control, but with his jaw wired shut and his lack of mobility, he can’t do a thing. Nerves flutter up your body as you lean in, and you’re sure he can smell Yunho and Mingi on you, but the guarantee that he can’t touch you is filling you with a sick sense of power, of sure joy. 

“You tried and you failed,” You tell him, and he huffs, “and that’s on you.”

His cheek twitches and you’re sure he’d be clenching his jaw if he could do it without exceptional pain. 

“You’ll do this for me, you owe me,” You hold his gaze despite the flutter of fear it brings you, “and if you don’t, I don’t care what it takes. I’ll see you in court and if that doesn’t work, I’ll make sure that you never, ever get hired again. Every studio in Korea will know what you did, and every omega in Seoul will know what you really are, and if you ever get close to me again after today I’ll break your jaw myself.” 

His eyes flick down. 

“Do you understand me?” You repeat, enunciating clearly. 

He nods once. 

“Good,” You push back from him and get some distance, “get the charges against all of them dropped by tomorrow and I’ll call and withdraw mine. Don’t ever come back to the studio, if you left stuff there consider it gone.” 

He holds your gaze, and then he writes out a question - How do I know you’ll keep your word? 

“You don’t,” You shrug, “but I promise you I wouldn’t be here in this room with you at all if I wasn’t willing to drop them.” 

He turns your words over. 

“Minseok,” You sigh, “they mean more to me than watching you go to jail, please, just do the right thing.” 

He wipes his hand again across the whiteboard and then he shifts, looking back up to you to nod in agreement. 

“You’ll do it?” 

He nods again and then picks the marker back up to write something. 

“Don’t,” You stop him, “there’s nothing you can say I want to hear. Just do this and we’ll be done.” 

He looks away and without meeting your eyes again, he nods.

“Don’t make me come back,” You press him, but he doesn’t respond and that will have to be enough. You’ve done what you came to do. 

You’re out of his room in a flash, back through the security doors and quick past the front desk. You don’t spare a single glance at the nurse who broke the rules for you, you just need to get out of here before you let the reality of what you’ve done hit you sideways. You don’t let a single thing consume you until you’re out of the hospital and on the street again, and you sink down onto the first available bench. 

Your heart is pounding, hands trembling. You need to get this under control before you go home because the last thing you want is to cause Yunho and Mingi anymore stress or heartache. You give yourself some time to come back into your body, to forget the hard set of Minseok’s eyes and the way his fingers twitched when you got too close, the way you fought the curling panic in your gut to get the words out. 

When you do feel whole again, you order a taxi back. You’ve been gone a while, probably a little longer than they expected, and you hope they’re not worried.

Using Mingi’s borrowed key, you slip into the apartment and let their scents wash over you, soothing you instantly. You shut the door quietly behind you and toe off your shoes before calling out, “Is anyone home?” 

You hear movement immediately, Mingi from the kitchen and Yunho from his bedroom and it fills you with warmth. 

“Hey,” Mingi gets to the living room first, “how was your walk?” 

“Really good,” You tell him, and that’s the truth. The walk itself was nice until you cut it short with your little errand. 

“You look good,” He smiles, and Yunho appears from his side of the apartment as Mingi continues, “fresher,” 

“Yeah,” You sigh, “it’s a beautiful morning out,” 

“Hey,” Yunho says, smiling at the sight of you. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t wake you,” You say, “I just wanted to clear my head a bit, so I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your key,” 

Mingi shakes his head as you hang his keyring up by the door. 

“We’ll have to get one made for you,” Yunho says, “if you want,” 

You let the implication of that lie and you nod, but excitement sparks in your belly.

“Is there any coffee?” You ask, moving into the apartment and heading towards the kitchen. You need to tell them where you’ve been, but you just need a breath before you can. 

“Mhm,” Mingi says, “I just made a cup,” 

“Oh,” You shake your head, “I don’t want to take yours, I’ll make my own.” 

“No, no,” He slides behind you and presses a kiss to your hair as he does, “take it, I’ll make another. Yunho, do you want one?” 

“I’m good,” He replies, coming to stand next to you at the small kitchen island. 

Mingi looks like he’s thinking about something as he finishes off your cup of coffee and throws an electric kettle back on to make another pourover, but Yunho draws your attention away. 

“Jagi,” He starts, “I don’t mean to… well, can we talk to you about something?” 

“Sure,” You angle towards him, his words making you a little nervous, “is everything okay?” 

“Absolutely,” He assures you, brushing his hand down the length of your arm, “but Mingi and I were talking while you were gone, about how to handle everything with these charges,” 

“Oh,” His timing is impeccable. 

“We just want to include you,” He says, squeezing your hand, “and make sure we’re handling things the way we should, but it might be smart to try and hire a lawyer before this goes any further,” 

You’re not sure how you’re supposed to say this. 

“We talked to Seonghwa and he agrees,” Yunho continues, “this will be the easiest way to protect all of us,”

“Yunho,” You start, “hang on,”

“If this is upsetting we can talk about it later,” Yunho adds, “but Seonghwa has some connections through his parents, he wants to make some calls.” 

Your stomach twists at the idea of Seonghwa needing to lean on a favor from his parents, and every choice you made that morning becomes perfectly validated with just that thought. You would never, ever let him do that, not after everything he’s done for you.  

“It’s not upsetting,” You assure Yunho, trying to interject, “I just don’t think that will be necessary,” 

“Getting a lawyer?” He clarifies. 

“Yeah,” You swallow hard and glance at Mingi, “I don’t think we’ll need to.” 

“I mean, having representation would be best,” Yunho says, “I know it’s stressful, but we need to be careful,” 

“Right,” You sigh, needing him to give you a breath to explain, “that’s if there’s a suit,” 

“Well sure, but,” Yunho starts but the penny drops for Mingi. 

“Tell me you didn’t,” Mingi turns to you fully and the words die on Yunho’s lips as he plays catch up. 

You stay quiet, holding his gaze, but when you let out a soft breath he sets his coffee back down. 

“y/n,” Mingi says, voice serious and leaving Yunho visibly more and more confused, “tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.” 

“I took care of it,” You settle on the most neutral words you can. 

“No,” He shakes his head, “you can’t just say that, you have to give us more than that.” 

“I was planning on it,” You push past Yunho to approach Mingi, resting your hands on his upper arms as you get closer into his space, “I swear, you just guessed it too fast,” 

“You smell like the hospital,” He explains, his nose crinkled up. 

“Whoa, whoa,” Yunho finally catches up, “why were you at the hospital?”

You just have to say it, “I talked to Minseok,” 

“Absolutely not,” Yunho pushes around the island and closer to you, “are you insane?” 

“He’s completely incapacitated,” You tell them both, “he couldn’t have touched me even if he wanted to,” 

“Yes, but you didn’t know that!” Yunho presses, his voice running high in surprise, but you can see he’s doing his best to keep level and cool. 

“Look at me,” You settle him, “do I look hurt? Upset?”

“No,” He admits with a puff of dejected air. 

“Am I myself?” You take both their hands in yours. 

“Yes,” Mingi admits. 

“Okay,” You sigh, “now stop freaking out and listen to me, because I promise you I’m perfectly fine,” 

Mingi nods once, and Yunho stays silent, which is enough for you to do what you need to do. 

“I went there to talk him out of the charges he’s filing,” You explain, “and I guess… I just wanted to understand what he did, so I wanted to talk to him.” 

“And?” Yunho prompts. 

“He’s an asshole,” You start. 

“Did he touch you?” Mingi asks, his voice a little tight and thready, “Say anything to you?” 

“No,” You promise, tugging him closer until his hands are properly on you, “come here,” 

“You can tell us if he did,” Yunho’s fingertips stroke a gentle pattern over the back of your neck, “we’re not angry, we just want to help,” 

“Speak for yourself, I still want to kill him,” Mingi says sharply. 

“Hey,” Yunho nudges him, “chill,” 

“Both of you relax,” You interject and they fall silent, “he didn’t do anything, he couldn’t even talk, his jaw is fully wired shut,” 

Yunho huffs a laugh, “Good,” 

You smile, “Honestly, he looked pretty pathetic,” 

“He is pretty pathetic,” Mingi points out. 

“Right,” You sigh, “well, aside from some choice words written out on a whiteboard, he didn’t have much to say or do. I explained that if he didn’t drop his charges things would be much worse for him in the long run… and he saw reason.” 

“He agreed to that?” Mingi’s eyes go wide. 

“Mhm,” 

“Why?” Yunho’s brows draw together, “Not out of the goodness of his heart, I assume,” 

“No,” You shake your head, “but when I tell you, I need you both to promise me you won’t be angry.” 

“That’s unfair,” Yunho says. 

“Just say it,” Mingi nods, “we won’t know until we know.” 

You chew the inside of your lip as you search for the right way to say this, and you know they’ll be upset no matter what, but they deserve honesty. You nod, “I agreed to drop my charges if he drops his,” 

They’re silent, deathly silent. 

“y/n,” Yunho swallows tightly as he gets his voice even, “why would you do that?” 

“He didn’t want to listen to me at first,” You explain, “and I thought it through on the walk. That’s the only piece of leverage we have right now,” 

“But he did something wrong, he should be held accountable,” Mingi exclaims, taking a full step away from you and running a hand through his hair. 

“You heard the questions the police asked me,” You interject, “how close was I to my next heat? Did I know Minseok was in pre-rut? Why did I stay in the room if he was making me uncomfortable? What was I wearing?” 

“But it wasn’t your fault,” Yunho insists, “he used tone, that’s fucking illegal,” 

“I said he used tone,” You counter quietly, “but he’ll say he didn’t and he’ll say I got confused or misunderstood. He’ll use our relationship against you both, and my relationship with Seonghwa to paint… a very particular kind of picture about me. We all know what he did but I’m telling you, legally? We’re on the losing side,” 

“But,” Mingi shakes his head, “that’s…” 

“I know,” You nod, “believe me, I know.” 

“You should have taken us with you,” Yunho says quietly, “we could have talked to him for you,” 

You shake your head, “No,” you need them to understand, “you got to hit him… you got to do something, I didn’t get to do anything but be fucking scared,”

His expression softens, “Oh,” 

“You protected me when I needed you,” You feel tears welling up now at the thought of it, “it’s my turn to protect you,” 

They’re so quiet, watching you carefully. 

“Nothing is taking you away from me again,” You say it, plain and clear, “nothing is taking away you or my friends, I won’t let that happen,” 

Mingi’s arms fold around you fast as he tucks you into his chest and you feel Yunho step close too, laying a warm palm on your back as he leans into you both. 

“Whatever you want, we’ll do it,” Mingi murmurs, “okay?” 

You nod, closing your eyes as you snuggle into the warmth of him. 

“And we’ll handle it together,” Yunho says, “but don’t make this decision for us, make it for you. We,” Yunho’s voice trails, but then he clears his throat and says what he wants to say anyways, “we love you. No matter what happens,” 

“I know,” You sigh, snaking an arm out of Mingi’s hold to find Yunho’s hand and tuck him a little closer too, “but I’m sure,” 

“I hate to state the obvious here,” Mingi pulls back from you so he can look at you both, “but if he’s not charged with anything, then he’s a free man.” 

That thought does make your stomach flip, but you knew that when you walked into the hospital room, “I know,” 

“It’s your choice,” Mingi reiterates, “but I still don’t know if I’m comfortable taking that kind of risk with you.” 

“I don’t even want to think about that,” Yunho says, his hands finding your shoulders as he tucks closer behind you. 

The image of Minseok’s face when you asked about his dance career flickers through your mind and you smile, “I think he got the picture,” 

“y/n,” Mingi’s voice is hesitant. 

“I told him in no uncertain terms,” You can’t get the smile off your face now, “that if he came anywhere near me again I’d break his jaw myself.” 

“You didn’t,” Yunho looks down to see your face. 

“I did,” You nod, “and before you freak out again, please remember that I’m here and totally fine in front of you,” 

Mingi gives you a truly withering look but lets you speak. 

“Honestly,” You breathe, “you should have seen him, he was lying there and could barely move, and when he didn’t want to drop the charges at first, I kind of got in his face,” 

Yunho’s hands tighten on your shoulders and Mingi scrubs a hand over his face, “Don’t tell me that,” 

“But I did,” You press your palms flat against Mingi’s chest, “I told him that if he didn’t drop his charges he would never get rid of me, I told him I’d make his life hell, and he couldn’t even move. He couldn’t touch me,” 

Mingi’s quiet, his eyes flicking up to Yunho behind you. Yunho sighs, dropping his forehead to rest against your hair and then his arms relax, wrapping around you from behind. 

“I really hate this story,” Yunho says, “but I’m also really proud of you,” 

“Me too,” Mingi’s hand closes over both of yours to give you a squeeze. 

“I just wish you had told us,” Yunho admits. 

“If I had told you I was going there you would have never let me go alone,” You point out. 

“Exactly,” Yunho’s arms tighten. 

You turn your head to press your lips to his arm where it wraps around your shoulder, and you nuzzle a little into his warm skin, “You know why I had to go though, right? You get it?” 

He nods against your head. 

Mingi smooths his hand up and down your forearm, “We do,” 

“I just hate the thought of him seeing you again,” Yunho admits, lifting his head and readjusting you in his arms, “or being close to you at all,” 

“I know,” You lean back into his embrace, “but this is the thing, he got to see me be fine after what he did,” 

“And you got to see him,” Mingi puts two and two together with ease and nods, “and he looked pathetic?” 

“More than that,” You smile, “he looked… afraid.” 

“Good,” Mingi says firmly. 

You remember the way he looked in that hospital bed, his eyes darting around the room. He shrank back when you got close, no doubt the scent of Yunho and Mingi lingering on your skin, and you smile up at them at the thought, “He was terrified my alphas were with me,”

Yunho’s lips quirk and he leans around you to meet your eyes, “He wasn’t afraid of us, sweetheart, he was afraid of you.” 

“No,” You laugh that off, but they don’t join in and Mingi makes a funny expression at your words. 

Yunho slides away, shoulder to shoulder with Mingi now as he looks down at you, “Yes, y/n,” he shakes his head, “he was vulnerable and alone and stuck in a hospital bed, and you’re…” 

“A powerful fucking omega,” Mingi supplies. 

Yunho nods, “And he knows that you could ruin the rest of his life.” 

You don’t know what to say. 

“y/n,” Mingi sighs, tugging you in until your bodies are close together, “if you ever do something that reckless again, I’ll lose my mind,”

You move to lift your head and push back, to keep trying to get him to understand why this was so important for you to do alone and why you made the choices you made, but he stops you short. 

“But,” He adds, kissing the top of your head, “it was also very brave, and I love you for it.” 

“Yeah?” You nudge him. 

“Yeah,” He admits. 

“I do wish I could have seen it,” Yunho grins, “that asshole scared of you,” 

Mingi’s hands slide to your hips, tightening their grip and he swallows hard, “Our fierce little omega,” 

A ripple of something needy and unexpected passes through your belly, “Is that what I am?” 

Yunho steps closer, finding a home for his hands on your body too, “You called us your alphas,” he says softly, “isn’t that what we are?” 

Mingi’s thumbs brush a warm steady pattern into your hips and you feel yourself melting into their hands, “Yes,” 

“That makes you our omega, sweetheart,” Yunho eyes flick from yours to your lips. 

The way they say omega to you doesn’t sound cold. It doesn’t sound cruel or commanding, no undertone of ownership despite the content of their words. When they say it all you hear is love. 

“Say that again,” You murmur softly. 

Mingi smiles, lifting his eyes to watch you.  

Yunho dips closer, his lips dangerously close, “Our omega?” 

You nod a little, heat flushing your cheeks. 

“Our omega,” He repeats, pressing his lips to yours. He waits to make sure you want it, he waits to feel you twist in their arms and reach up for him, and then he lets his body follow his thoughts, lips opening and his tongue dipping into your mouth. 

Mingi’s hand shifts, spreading wide over your lower belly, his fingertips at the waistband of your pants. You’re not ready for that, and you hope he doesn’t notice the way you twitched in his hands when he first adjusted his grip, but either way he makes no move to take anything further. Neither of them do. Despite Yunho’s lips on yours, and the breath between you both, his hands stay put on your back and your cheek while Mingi just holds you, patient and soft at your side. 

When your lips break from Yunho, settling back down your heels after pushing up on tiptoe, Mingi uses his grip on you to spin you to face him, his mouth finding yours with ease. 

You hum pleasantly against his mouth, your hands gripping his broad shoulders for balance. 

“Ours,” Mingi murmurs between kisses, and then his hands spread to your backside, maneuvering you up into his arms in one quick motion, “you’re ours,” 

You wrap your legs around his middle and sink into the kiss, “I’m yours,” 

“Fuck, I missed you,” He mumbles between kisses, nuzzling your cheek with his nose. 

You nod against him, stealing one more kiss before you lean back, still perched comfortably with your legs around his waist. You smooth a hand over Mingi’s cheek and then reach for your other lover to bring him close, drawing him in by the hand until he’s nestled against both of your sides. Yunho’s hand reaches around to cup under your thigh and you settle your own hand on the back of Yunho’s neck, fingers stroking the shaggy bottom of his dark hair.

“This is nice,” Mingi smiles a little, eyes flicking between you and Yunho. 

Yunho nods, his free hand settling on Mingi’s back. 

“I can’t believe I convinced myself that we weren’t scent sympathetic,” You sigh a small, unfunny laugh, “this just feels so right,” 

“Knowing it and knowing it are two different things,” Mingi says, emphasizing the word. 

“I guess so,” 

“And it’s not like all scent matches work out,” Yunho adds, “we still have to work at it,” 

You nod, relaxing into their hold, “I want that,” 

“We do too,” Mingi squeezes your thigh a little with his wide hand. 

It’s funny how different it all feels now than months ago during your first panicked heat here, how settled you are with everything. You glance between them and ask the obvious, “When we go back to work, what are we this time?” 

“Pack,” Mingi says easily and your head snaps to his, eyebrows high. 

“Mingi,” You blink at him, surprised at his easy reference to such a permanent state of being. Scent matches and compatibility is one thing, but pack is something so much more. All of it flickers in your mind - claims, bonds, tying you together permanently. 

“Someday,” Yunho interjects smoothly, giving you a soft, reassuring kiss to the head, “far in the future, if you’ll have us.” 

“Someday,” The word slips out of you like an agreement, and despite all the fears shared with Wooyoung earlier, you do want them like that. You want to someday be able to give each other that.  

“Then we’re pack,” Mingi lights up at your words, “officially, unofficially, I don’t care. You’re with us, we’re with you.” 

Your body fills with warmth, but you can feel your heart rate picking up. 

Yunho smiles, “What did they used to call that back in the day?” 

“Courting,” You fill in the blank for him, and the word feels strangely old fashioned considering the fact that you’ve already spent a heat with them. When packs were more common, groups of alphas would court compatible omegas until it was sure they were a good match in more ways than just scent. The implication then was something more akin to a modern engagement and you can’t believe after everything you’ve been through with these two men, this is the conversation you’re having suddenly so casually in their kitchen. 

“Well,” Yunho laughs, “we don’t have to call it that,” 

“We’re,” You trail off, trying to find the words, “dating?” 

“Partners?” Yunho offers a slightly less casual word. 

“Together,” Mingi cuts in, “that’s what we are. We’re your alphas, we belong to you, and you,” he draws you closer in his arms to press a soft kiss on your lips, “are our omega.” 

“And at work?” You trail off. 

“We’ll be ourselves,” Yunho suggests, “people probably already know after last week anyways,” 

Mingi nods, dipping forward and pressing a kiss to your lips, “No more pretending we don’t mean something to each other,” 

“No more pretending,” You shift in his arms, wrapping your arms properly around his shoulders so that you’re hugging each other tightly. 

Mingi hums appreciatively, his breath warm against your hair and then he chuckles a little as he readjusts you in his arms, “Is it too fast if I start calling you yeobo, though? I feel like it suits you,” 

You pull back from the hug, “We’re not married, Mingi,” you remind him, “and I didn’t hear a proposal,” 

“You want to get proposed to, baby?” He teases and you shove his chest. 

“Knock it off,” Yunho smacks the back of Mingi’s head, “our relationship doesn’t have to break the sound barrier,” 

“I’m kidding,” Mingi squeezes you, shifting to take a few steps and deposit you on the kitchen counter before stepping back with a quick peck on your lips. 

“Hmm,” Yunho rolls his eyes and slumps back against the counter next to you, one wide hand smoothing over your thigh, “we just got you back, I’d like to avoid scaring you off,” 

“I’m not scared,” You shake your head, and as you say it, you realize it’s true. Six months ago you would have balked at Mingi’s veiled promise of his intentions, you would have told them all their hormones were mixed up and confused. You would have told yourself the same. It feels strange to feel completely at peace with the idea of a real someday with them. 

Yunho’s eyebrow quirks up in a question at your words and Mingi grins, a little self satisfied. 

“Actually,” You exhale heavily and straighten up, “I talked to Wooyoung yesterday and he helped me figure some things out,” 

“Things?” Mingi asks. 

“Um,” Your pounds in your chest, “yeah,” 

Yunho gives you an encouraging squeeze to keep going. 

You meet his eyes and take the leap, “Can you make that call? For me to talk with someone?” 

He softens and nods, “I’ll do it first thing,” 

“Okay,” You say, taking another deep breath, “then there’s one more thing to tell you,” 

Mingi doesn’t say anything, but he steps back closer to you, resting his hand on your opposite thigh. 

“It’s my turn to ask you to be patient,” You give them both an anxious, close lipped smile. 

“We’re listening,” Mingi soothes you. 

“Okay,” You take both their hands in yours, “here goes. The idea of bonding with you both is kind of sending me into a tailspin right now, and I’m terrified that it’s something I’m never going to get over. Wooyoung told me to talk to someone to work through that and I want to. I thought about it all day, and the truth is that I want to be with you both for as long as you’ll have me. You feel like you’re mine, now more than ever, and I’m scared, but I’m also scared of not trying,” 

“And if I can be yours like this for now,” You continue, “without bonds like you said, pack even if it’s unofficial, then maybe I can work through this and make it official someday. I’m just scared your definition of ‘far in the future’ and my definition are different though, and I,” 

“Fuck bonds,” Mingi interrupts, moving to cup both your cheeks and draw your eyes to his, “that shit doesn’t matter to me at all. We’re together by choice, not by claim. If you want my bite someday, I’ll give it to you, but you won’t ever hear me ask, alright? Never.” 

“Me too,” Yunho’s hand brushes down your hair, coming to rest on the back of your neck, “as far as I’m concerned it’s secondary, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I’d sooner leave you than push you into a bond you aren’t ready for,” 

You jolt forwards, throwing an arm around each of their shoulders and nearly slipping off the counter when you do, but they hold you steady as you pull them in. 

“We just want you,” Mingi’s rough, low voice murmurs, “just this.” 

You feel their warmth, the steady thrum of each of their heartbeats, their scents curling around you like a safe, easy memory. The words find themselves right on the tip of your tongue again, only this time, this time they come. 

“I love you,” You take in a sharp, emotional breath as you get yourself together, overwhelmed by their words, “I love you both so much,” 

Yunho dips back to find your mouth, locking his lips on yours and sighing a breath of true relief against your mouth, “I love you too, sweetheart,”

Mingi redirects your gaze with his fingers on your jaw the moment Yunho starts to lean back and he kisses you hard, leaving you gripping his shirt for balance, “I love you,”

“God,” You smile, every part of your body alight with joy, “I think we might be crazy, but I don’t care,” 

“Good,” Yunho glances between you both, “because I think I’m having a crazy idea,” 

“What idea?” 

“Move in,” He blurts out, and he can’t stop smiling, “fuck giving you a key, fuck calling you our girlfriend. Move in properly, be ours. If we’re together, let’s be together, we’ve lost enough time,” 

“Who’s moving fast now?” Mingi says, but he’s smiling too. 

Everything in your body feels right, feels safe. You’ve been calling this home for days, and you’ve been calling them yours in your head for so much longer. 

You’re nodding before your mouth can catch up with your brain, “Okay, okay, yes, let’s do it,” 

Yunho pulls you up into his arms and holds you close, peppering kisses across your temple, “We’ll figure everything else out later, but at least we’ll be together,” 

“Thank God,” You melt into his embrace, meeting Mingi’s eyes over Yunho’s shoulder, “because I really didn’t want to leave,” 

“No leaving this time,” Mingi smiles softly as Yunho nods his head against yours. 

“Mm-mm,” You shake your head, agreeing with his words. 

“We’ll get everything from your place as soon as we can, make it official,” Mingi adds. 

You nod, and then a thought occurs to you, “Is there even enough room for me here?” 

Yunho unwraps himself from around you and nods, “We’ll need a bigger bed,”

“For a start,” Mingi nods, “and you need a nest,” 

“Yeah?” Your very own nest, a real one. 

“Oh, babe,” Mingi finds your hand, tugging you in, “you’re about to get fucking spoiled, anything you want, we’ll figure it out.” 

“You don’t have to, I just want to be here,” You tell them. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Yunho says, “we’ve waited for you for so long,” 

“Too long,” Mingi wraps his arms around you both, “way too long,” 

It doesn’t matter anymore what pushed you into their arms, what kind of day you’ve had, everything you’ve had to get through. Not a thing in the world matters but this choice, the safe home of their arms, three of you against the world like it was always meant to be. 

[thezombieprostitute]

The Arrangement - Chapter 4

Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.

Warnings: Bad parents, Implied physical abuse. Let me know if I missed any!

Chapter 3 -- Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

It takes you a bit to find the master bedroom. You tremble at the thought of what's expected of you tonight. The closets are full of clothes your and Jake's mothers chose. Thankfully a small dresser seems to have been filled with all of your preferred clothes. You wash off your makeup and clean up your hair so it looks more natural. You're not sure how Jake will react but at least you have the excuse of following Clay's instructions.

As much as you hate to go back out there, your mother's voice won't stop nagging you about being a good hostess. You have a guest, you should provide food and drink, right? You're not sure what all is in the kitchen but it won't hurt to look and familiarize yourself with the place.

You sneak past the two men sitting at the table with a laptop between them. The less attention you draw to yourself the better. It's what gotten you this far in life.

The kitchen looks like it missed the worst of your mother's attempts at interior design which makes sense. She always felt the kitchen was for servants which led it to becoming a safe haven for you. You start by opening all the cupboards and making a mental inventory. The cookware is quality stuff, not just for decoration. There are some decent options for the kind of cooking and baking you like to do but, if your husband will give you permission, you'll do some shopping for the rest.

For now, though, you can make a simple pasta aglio e olio. Simple, but tasty and filling. It might even help give Jake a better impression of you, ease his temper a bit.

Jake is so caught up in his discussions with Clay and securing all of the internet connections in the penthouse he almost misses you as you place the plates of food on the table. He has to do a double take when he sees you. Without the makeup, hair styling, you look...beautiful. His jaw drops slightly at the realization.

Thankfully Clay is quick to help him out. "Well that's mighty kind of you, young lady," he tells you. "If it tastes half as good as it smells, we're in for a real treat."

You smile and drop your head at the praise. If Clay likes it, that's one less thing for Jake to be angry with you about. His initial reaction had you worried you'd overstepped with your attempts to be comfortable.

"Thank...thank you," Jake sputters. He flinches as Clay kicks him under the table. "You, um, I, um, you look really pretty," he finally ekes out. "And thank you for the food!" That last bit is said in a rush as he feels his face heat up from embarrassment. Was he wrong about you? Was the makeup and clothing not your choice? Was Clay right about you being afraid of him?

You keep your head down as you head back to the kitchen to clean up. You want to cry. Your husband's reaction to the food, to your more comfortable dress, has you so frustrated and scared. He clearly didn't like it and was just trying to keep on his boss's good side. You saw how red his face had gotten from how angry he was. You're terrified about what's going to happen once Clay leaves. Eventually the tears come, unbidden, as you clean. The dishes could probably wait until tomorrow but you need to pour your energy into something.

A cough from behind has you freezing in place. "Um," it's your husband. "Do you, do you know where the glasses are? We, um, we could...I was, I was getting us some water." His tone is so much softer than before. You're not sure what to make of it. You point to the cupboard that has the cups and hear it open. He says a quiet "thank you" before filling them up at the refrigerator's water dispenser. It isn't until you hear him walk out of the kitchen that you let yourself breathe.

As Jake sits down at the table, handing Clay the glass of water, he says, "you might be right about her."

"Poor girl is a bit skittish," Clay nods. "You gonna be okay tryin' to talk to her?"

"I don't know," Jake confesses. "I...she...I tried to talk and she just froze up. I think she was crying."

"Take it slow and soften your tone, Jake. You'll get there."

"I hope you're right."

Chapter 3 -- Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn;

@icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82 @ronearoundblindly

[merchelsea]

private support- george russell

pairing: george russell x fem! model! reader

summary: you are constantly fighting george’s haters on interviews and socials, but when you need him to do the same, he doesn’t.

author’s note: my first time writing angst, please give me some tips to improve!! and i’m actually taking requests now, so if you have any, let me know!

word count: 2k+ (not counted properly)

warnings: angst, fighting, miscommunication, racism accusations, silence treatment, confused reader.

your mind snapped back to reality as your hairstylist, who also happened to be your best friend, playfully snapped her fingers in front of your face.

"what are you thinking about?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity and concern as she stood before you, demanding an answer.

"nothing," you quickly shot back, though the truth was quite the opposite. you had been mulling over everything that had transpired in the past week.

a false accusation of racism had been circulating on the internet, and it had been so well-constructed that people started believing you were capable of such a thing.

it was frustrating that almost no one believed you, but it was even more frustrating that you couldn't deny it. this whole scandal had brought up an unwanted spotlight, and you were obligated to follow a contract, which meant that, if they were to push you under the bus because they'd benefit from it, they could. and that is exactly what they did.

you felt anger and disappointment toward those you worked with daily, as you never thought they would betray you in such a way. in response, you had pulled all available strings and taken legal action to clear your name. while you had managed to set the record straight publicly through the legal process, it did little to ease the weight on your mind.

"that’s bullshit, you have been watching that tiktok for 15 minutes." your friend quipped, redirecting your attention to your phone, which had been playing the same vogue advertisement repeatedly. "so, what's on your mind?"

you sighed, contemplating the flood of thoughts but reluctant to discuss them. "a lot of stuff, but I really don't want to talk about it." your friend took a deep breath and reluctantly accepted your reluctance. "fine," she conceded. as much as she could try to hide it, you knew her, and realized she wasn't happy about it. "don't get mad."

"I’m not mad. I just don’t understand why you never talk with me about this stuff." you furrowed your brows as she moved to hold your hair from behind, starting to curl it again. "I mean, I’m supposed to be your best friend, you should be able to talk with me."

"it's about george," you exhaled as she began working on your hair, curling it once more. "what did he do?" she asked, her curiosity piqued. "you guys never fight."

"he didn’t do anything, that’s the problem." you explained, feeling the heat of anger dissipate. the woman behind you turned your chair to face her, and you knew it was time to open up about it.

"what happened, babe?" she asked, pulling over a bench and sitting down. it was clear that she recognized the importance of the conversation.

you silently wondered about what to say for minutes, because even tho it was something really clear in your mind, you had no idea of how to put it into words.

she grew impatient in front of you, drumming her fingers in the bench she was sat in, waiting for you to break.

"he still hasn't said anything about this. he talked to me, told me he knew I could never do such a thing," you began, picking up a makeup pencil to occupy your hands. "but people asked him in interviews, and he didn't even deny it. he would just say hat he wouldn't comment on it."

You felt a mix of emotions, ranging from sadness to disappointment. You had always defended George in similar situations, in interviews, instagram stories, fighting people on twitter. in every way you could.

unintentionally, you expected him to do the same for you when the time came. but it came and he didn't. you couldn't really blame him because you never even talked to him about it, he had no way of knowing, but you did, you blamed him.

you blamed him and you felt awful for that. it was all an endless circle of guilt and shame that you were trying to run of. confused, stressed, attacked. how could someone be fine while feeling all of that?

questions lingered in your brain as your best friend talked to you, trying to help you in the better way she could. besides all of the mess, she was the one thing you were sure off, she was your rock, stabling you through the storm.

posting that video and coming clean about the situation had been a good step, but it hadn't eased the stabbing pain in your chest.

coming home to him was harder than ever. you had ignored his calls and every single one of his attempts to contact you. it was childish of you, and you were aware, but you just couldn't help it.

anyways, things had to be said.

as you entered the room, you found george lying on the couch in his mercedes shirt. he smiled when he saw you, relieved that you had come. he thought you wouldn't come, that caused by the three days left on read and the 14 missed calls.

seeing you was a relief for him. he immediately got up and walked to you, but you denied his attempt to touch your face. the smile on his face disappeared as fast as it came on.

"hey, what happened?" he attempted to caress your cheek, but you pulled away his arm. "what did I do?" his confused and saddened gaze filled you with regret and you realized what you were doing.

you weren't being fair.

"I'm sorry. I just—" you began, stepping back. his reaction made you realize that you needed to communicate openly. "I need to talk to you," you said, and george nodded, ready to listen. he looked genuinely terrified as you refused his touch, not understanding what he had done wrong.

"okay... hm. lets sit down." he suggested, trying to make it as comfortable as he could for you.

you both moved to the couch, sitting on opposite ends. george looked you in the eye, waiting for you to speak.

"so, you know about that racism accusation, right?"george nodded, not daring to speak. "I'm kind of upset about it."

"well that's understandable, yo-"

"george," you interrupted, wanting to clarify your point. "I'm not really worried about the accusation itself right now. you haven't said anything about it yet." the brit furrowed his brows.

"what? I told you exactly what I thought that same night. you could never do such thing and I know that very well." you sighed, annoyed again. it was difficult to try and see things from his perspective, but the truth is that you weren't explaining him things clearly.

"that's not what I mean. you've talked about it with me, but you never did on public. you never said that 'i could never do such thing' to anyone else." his eyes fall on you again, softened this time.

"oh." it lingers in the air for quite some time as he gets ahold of his thoughts and you grow inpatient. "I'm sorry about that. I never thought you wanted to." some other words danced on the tip of his tongue. he contained himself, but he could've easily ended this argument.

"you never thought? how's that?" you offendedly ask. how could you not want your boyfriend to have your back?

"well, once you told me you didn't like the thought of being seen as dependent of me. that you wanted to be seen as an independent and strong woman. I respected, and still respect that." you recalled saying this after a long night in monaco. deep conversations had become a regular occurrence between you two after his race weekends.

"it's not about depending on you; it's about you supporting me," you raised your voice, making it clear how upset you were. "I always do that for you, and it doesn't mean anything."

"yeah, because the media and society are twisted as fuck, and we both know that," george said, turning his body towards you, now more open to discussing the issue. "tell me that if it were me in your position, you wouldn't be labeled as a woman who needs her boyfriend to protect her. do you have any idea of how you would be talked about?"

you hated it when he was right, but he was right now. however, he seemed to miss your perspective on all of this.

"I wouldn't care. I would know you were by my side and I wouldn't care."

"your such a bad liar. you would care. you would and you will because I gave an interview like two days ago, talking about it." he sighs. "because even though I knew it wasn't what you would've wanted, I could not keep quite while you were going through all of that."

silence fills the room as you both just stare at each other. how could have you missed this? okay, you had been avoiding anything george related for the past days, but you would know. wouldn't you?

"of course that, I could've told you if you just picked up your damn phone." george got up and left for your bedroom before you had a chance to react. but he did exactly what you needed—he gave you some time to think, to process, and to feel guilty for treating him poorly when all he had done was thinking of you.

you took out your phone and searched his name on twitter. the first thing coming up being exactly what you were looking for.

"it's unacceptable. it's actually unacceptable that someone can do this and live their life in peace. that person screwed her over — her name, her work, everything she represents. yeah, no, I can not deal with this shit. I mean, she is the most admirable person in this earth and people who can't deal with other's happiness just keep trying to mess that up. they wont succeed, though. she is incredible enough to not let that happen." "george, does it bother you that it was a fan of yours who came up with this?" "fan? sorry but that can't be called a fan. that is just a jerk who tried to ruin someone's life. does it bother me that is the love of my life being attacked? a lot. it drives me crazy. as I said before, I can't deal with this. I honestly think it would be easier if I was the one being attacked. I just can't understand why someone would do this to her. she always does what's best for others, she supports everyone, is always out there in the world fighting other's fights and this is how she is payed? it's not fair, it's just not fair." "i have only one more question for you. why did it take you so long to speak about this? even your teammate, lewis hamilton, talked about this the day it came out, and you're only just now coming clean." "well obviously I wanted to talk about this from the moment I saw it. it took a lot of me to not start a war right there. but we all know how fucked up the world is and how she would've been talked about if I came straight to interviews. she probably will even get a few comments about me but I couldn't keep it in. if she is not allowed to speak, I'll speak for her. that's how we work. we love each other and we support each other." "uh, i'm sorry george. not allowed?" "thank you for having me."

his face displayed anger, and he seemed more than ready to start a war. you couldn't help but smile throughout the whole video, feeling grateful for the man you had by your side.

and then it hit you—you had been treating him horribly when he didn't deserve it. in fact, he deserved the opposite. so, you got up and went to apologize.

opening the bedroom door, you saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the door. he had been waiting for you.

"I'm sorry," you said as you moved closer. he pulled you close by the waist, hugging your body, and you caressed his hair.

" you need to talk to me," he murmured against your belly.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry," you said, taking his head in your hands and forcing him to look up at you. "I promise you that from now on, we'll discuss everything. I love you so much."

"I love you too. you know that, right?" you nodded your head with a big smile. if this had shown you something, was that he loved you.

"I know, and I'm sorry for cutting you off when things went bad. that was really shitty of me." you looked up, admitting your mistakes.

"never do that again, I got so afraid. I thought I had lost you."

"I'll never do it again. I promise." you stuck out your pinky and he took it. sealing the promise with a kiss on your enlaced fingers.

[awrkive]

r we getting tlp3 anytime soon 😖😖😖

anon asked: Could you please give us a little tiny spoiler about tlp pt.3?🥹🫶🏻

hi first anon! no i dont think i can give u guys a date yet. im actually currently joining an architectural competition at uni so thats keeping me a bit busier than usual, but i am writing tlp 3 during my breaks so ... thats that. ANYWHO. i will make sure to update u guys when its ready to be out!

anyways, to second anon. a tiny spoiler under the cut proceed if u wanna.. 🤓

You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place.

Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment when the door opens.

It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon two days ago, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s a certain burn at the sides of your eyes that urges you to cry. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that anybody is not home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him, it did not exactly go as well as you’d like. 

He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. But the to-go container from Chipotle at the island catches your attention, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it. 

So Jungkook is home. 

The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick? 

You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on Jungkook’s macbook. 

The tab that's left open shows an apartment listing website, and the following tabs beside it are some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to visit on the internet before when you were looking for a place yourself.

It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-bedroom and studio apartments. 

Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight. 

What does this mean? 

“Oh, hey,”

The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand. 

“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. There's a heavy feeling that sits in your heart when you look at his face – but most of all, it beats a little above normal.

But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you. 

“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and you feel a sudden twinge inside that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, it felt intentional.

But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace.

If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the high chairs on the island and plug in his charger on his laptop. 

Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh.. you just got off from your shift?” 

“Uhm, yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit. 

“Nah, got off a few hours ago.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

“Yeah.” 

You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air. 

It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing that you can bring up.

There's a certain kind of melancholy in the case. 

“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself. 

How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him. 

Jungkook seems just as taken aback by this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his laptop. There’s a slight jerk in his movements when he glides his fingers across the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his PC wallpaper instead. 

“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.” 

Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?” 

Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks. 

“Yeah.” 

So he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face, letting your gaze fall back on his laptop.

You give him a small smile. 

“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”

Your hope you hide the way your heart completely breaks when you say the words. 

[sseulforgii]

Virtual Valentine

Non-idol!Kim Minjeong x Reader

It was just a random discord server, some virtual hangout that you accidentally stumbled upon. Being overwhelmed by the real world, you dipped into the shallows of this hyperspace. Unwittingly wading in too deep for your liking when you met her.

cw: angst

a/n: not proofread; purely word vomit; inspired by Jeremy Zucker's Internet Crush

Your life is uneventful. You sighed for the umpteenth time as you lounge upside down on your sofa, just scrolling through your twitter feed. You came across a retweet from one of your gamer moots about a discord server for the gaming community. Bored out of your mind, you decided to join.

Your life has taken a bit of a turn. You sighed for the umpteenth time as you lost again to your new friend teaching you how to play valorant. Minjeong teases you relentlessly during her stream and you grumble saying it’s no fair ‘cause she’s had years of practice playing the game. Taking pity on you, she proposes you play another game that you’ve played before. Feeling yourself smile, albeit losing, you decided to give in and tell her about your game.

Your life is quite colorful now. You sighed for the umpteenth time as you find yourself smiling as you wait for Minjeong to go online. She’s probably still sleeping since it’s still the middle of the night where she is and it’s already near noon where you are. But you were both up really late, well late for her but early in the morning for you – who are we kidding? You didn’t sleep a wink just to talk to her! And you find yourself enjoying learning new things about her. Heart pounding at the realization, you decided to look for anything to distract you from thoughts of her.

Your life has never been filled with laughter like this. You sighed for the umpteenth time, dreamily, as Minjeong talks to your so passionately about what she’s studying. You’re both nerds like that. Endless stream of discussion about her dreams and thoughts and aspirations. You caught yourself smiling as you type out a reply to her witty remarks. Wanting to know more about her, you decided to do your best to keep her talking.

Your life is now incomplete without her. You sighed for the umpteenth time feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach. You’ve never even seen each other and yet you are drawn to her charms, her wits, her colorful personality. Things are more comfortable between the two of you now and what started as a light banter now has a bit of a flirty undertone. Cheeks heating up at her retorts, you decided to try subtly flirting back.

Your life has taken its turn for the worse. You sighed for the umpteenth time as you re-read your conversation with a smile. Minjeong just fell asleep, and you are basking in the afterglow of your recent conversations. You can feel your cheeks heat up again as you smile at the thought of your flirtatious exchange. But as easily as your giddiness came, it quickly changed into a frown. You had the sudden realization that everything was just friendly banter, that the possibility of her feeling the same way for you is embarrassingly close to zero, that she may just see you as her unnie. With a heavy heart, you decided to stomp over your feelings before it gets worse.

Your life is now empty. You sighed for the umpteenth time while rubbing your eyes. You did this to yourself. You were in too over your head and forgot that the reason you went into that discord server in the first place was because you were bored and might be able to find friends. Catching feelings never even crossed your mind, but there Minjeong was. Her easy-going and charming persona is enough to draw people in. She made so many friends here, you being one of them. Or at least used to be. But because you’re a coward, the first thing that crossed your mind was to run away. So with a shaky breath, you decided to click the “delete account” button on discord. Never even said goodbye. You blinked away your tears and swallowed the lump in your throat as you think to yourself, “she’ll never notice you left anyway.”

[roguelov]

Hi dear, how have you been?

Here, just a little idea I wanted to share with someone:

the reader makes digital art and shares it on the internet; Recently the reader writes short stories/comics where she draws Morpheus as the god of Dreams alongside herself as an OC, as if they were a couple, etc.

The art is very beautiful and everyone loves it, and it goes viral, making Morpheus more famous among humans. So people start to dream more about him and pay tribute.

Maybe something cute, funny or spicy... Or all together.

(Sorry for the bad English, I love you.)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS GOD I LOVE YOUR BRAIN SO MUCH

Dream will be very confused at first as to why he is getting more and more recognition. He starts to like it a bit. People are recognizing his work and all he does for the Waking, he can’t help but feel some pride and joy bubble in his chest. But, perhaps such feelings take a turn when he sees what seemed to be a version of himself and you in others’ dreams. Why? And why is there a romantic undertone to the two of you?

Maybe he doesn’t approach you on it for quite sometime. And so you gain more followers and more and more people fall in love with the story you’ve created. And finally at some point Dream does his own research. So in his vast library he finds your story: a wonderfully illustrated comic, along with short stories and pictures.

This man is stunned. It is such a beauty story, pulling in aspects from old tales while making it your own. It’s romance, it’s comedy, it’s tragedy, and it’s a slice of life. And it’s also a bit spice at times. But, he makes a point to stop looking when more steamy scenes happen. But now he had more questions, more questions for you. And when he finds you in a garden on a comfortable chair - made more for indoors - with a tablet in your lap as birds sang, he knew exactly what you are doing: drawing and writing about the two of you.

When he decides to be blunt and ask you about it, you are embarrassed, horrified, and stuttering through your words, “I am so - so sorry. I - I didn’t mean to offend you or anything - I just - I’ll stop and -“

“Why?” Dream asks. “You do not need to stop, I simply want to know why you do it.”

“I uh … why not?” What an idiotic response, but it’s the truth. “I mean it’s just fun to write and draw things about you, the Prince of Stories … you’re like my muse.”

Dream will be so touched by your words, but he does have another question. “And the courtship you have illustrated?”

“Oh uh,” you look away, “you know how people are, they love a love story.”

He doesn’t fully believe your answer. “When I have more time later today we can discuss it further. I do have more to say … especially pertaining to the relationship you depicted and if you are willing perhaps fiction can be turned into reality.”

You blink at his answer. He has this coy smile as he spoke but soon it turns genuine.

“Please, do not stop. I do love your story.”

You smile, “Oh uh thank you … and I would like to talk more about … us.”

Dream nods, satisfied with the answers he has gotten. However, before he leaves, he leans in close, “And do not think I have forgotten about some interesting pictures you have drawn … ones that are … more indulging of the flesh -“

You tense up, feeling your body heat up.

“- do know however our discussion ends later tonight, I will be open to be more than just a muse, perhaps a model if you so please.”

[larkspur-collective]

I did not want to do this, but... we really need a miracle.

We really need help relocating to WA!

Details are under the cut. This post mentions abuse, briefly touches on alcoholism, and discusses extreme poverty and unsanitary conditions. The short version is we need enough money for a plane ticket to Washington State, and fast.

We need help with our $300 plane ticket, some for food until we sort out foodstamps, & at least $100 to keep our phone on until we can find work.

We've been locked out of our GoFundMe account, and to be truthful I don't see one being very effective, so- our cashapp is $LarkspurWoods & our paypal is @KaiThePotatoChip [long story, don't ask lol]

Anything helps!

Goal progress: $0/600

Our Story

We are currently stuck off-grid in Missouri without a way out.

We moved out here to meet & stay with our dad, who is terminally ill, after being kicked out of our mom's in September. Turns out he's got next to nothing, we're all cramped in a single, disgusting RV [4 of us, not counting our aunt and uncle], and we've lost more than we've gained since being out here.

We were promised before our arrival that we would be able to earn an income out here, & have been unable to aside from just enough to pay our phone bill.

This inability to work has been due largely to all the vehicles our dad's family owns having broken down shortly after our arrival, as well as not having [& not being taught!] many useful skills for this lifestyle.

We don't have reliable internet or a way to seek remote work, either.

We haven't been able to do even basic things like take care of personal hygiene out here. We feel absolutely disgusting. We hate living this way.

We were supposed to get food stamps & our wisdom teeth out, but we can't...

Our father owes us money for the several weeks we have spent splitting wood for him, & has failed to deliver.

There is usually barely enough to eat, as well.

On top of all this, his sister and her husband are ignorant, bigoted, criminally violent alcoholics. They have near-daily instigated arguing and fighting since they arrived a day after we did.

Occasionally there are "good days." On one such day, November 25th, we ended up accidentally having an [attempted civil] discussion about intersex people and advanced biology in which we tried to inform them their worldview was outdated, got shut down, and then mentioned how we felt disrespected- they ended up heated and we walked away from them. they followed us, assaulted us, and their dog bit us 3 times on our ass, left arm, & face.

In addition, we have received multiple thinly veiled death threats when they're upset.

We called the sheriff, and they did nothing.

When our aunt and uncle are sober, they're not as volatile, although still incredibly emotionally abusive, prone to gaslighting, and manipulative.

We do not feel safe here, especially not as they have made it clear they have no intention of leaving anytime soon.

We have several friends and family members in the Oregon-Washington area, as well as a long-distance partner whom we've been dying to see for over a year. Our father promised to assist us with funding a trip to see them and, again, has failed to deliver.

We have been given explicit permission by several people, including our partner's family, that we have a place to stay out there, but we can't afford the plane ticket. after almost 2 months of working, we have only $50 to show for it.

We want desperately to see our partner for the holiday season and to escape our unsafe environment, and it feels like the entire world is against us right now.

We've spent weeks monitoring plane ticket prices, and the lowest is about ~$300 right now counting baggage fees.

We don't even have food money, let alone cash to get any gift for our s/o...

We've talked with a family member & they've offered to help us with getting a job as much as they can, but it's remote, and again we're off grid and don't always have gas to power the generator.

I am BEGGING anyone who has taken the time to read this to help us in some fashion.

We need help with our $300 plane ticket, some for food until we sort out foodstamps, & at least $100 to keep our phone on til we can work.

We can't promise much due to our shitty circumstances, but anything that we can do to assist or return the help we will do- we dabble with art, graphic design, music production, & video editing if people need help. We edit picrews and like making phone wallpapers as well. Just ask, and we'll try our best to do it.

This society has failed us severely. We want to make something more of ourself- we just really need some help.

Thank you to any and all for reading this, and we thank you even more if you decide to help.

[mitigatedchaos]

On Discourse

(~1,000 words, ~5m)

[ anon ]

[...] I only know like other early twenty somethings who are as clueless if not more than me. I then imagine said smart abstraction person inevitably getting frustrated with me and my inability to keep up with them or add on to their thoughts, per the inexperienced idiocy, and eventually blocking me in the middle of a discussion on how pro-sex work thought conflicts with modern feminism despite many sharing those beliefs. [...]

I know that in your ask, you said that this might be better left unspoken, but I'd like to share a line of thought that you might find useful.

One of the discursive norms that was weakened 2014-2022 was the idea of the separation between ideas and people.

Someone who is currently wrong, but who is honest, humble, and sincerely interested in the truth, is likely to become correct (or more correct). Someone who is currently correct, but who is dishonest with both others and with themselves, is likely to become wrong (or less correct).

Therefore honesty, humility, and a sincere desire to know the nature of the material world, are generally, though not always, more important than having a correct object-level position on every issue.

If methods are more important than just being correct, because methods are how you become correct, then we can view the nature of discussion differently.

You can have a discussion …as practice. It's OK if you're wrong, as long as the discussion helps you to become more correct, or become better at becoming correct. Breaking things down into their components, forming arguments, and weighing arguments, are skills, which can be practiced.

Now, regarding Tumblr...

In my opinion, people come to Tumblr to blog for basically two reasons. They want to learn, and they want to be heard.

To learn from someone, they must be similar enough to you that you can understand them, but different enough from you that they have something to teach you. Rationalists have a concept called "inferential distance," which refers to the gap in knowledge or reasoning between people. For example, to explain vtuber drama to Leibniz, in order for him to understand you, you would first have to explain computers and the Internet.

Inferential distance should not be thought of as a matter of supremacy or inferiority; two people might have equal shares of information about a problem that don't overlap with each other.

Due to differences in the knowledge and experience of people, there can be someone B in a chain A -> B -> C who understands both A and C, even when A and C do not understand each other.

In addition, if there is something you don't understand, it may be possible to ask a question and get an answer that helps you to understand. In this way, a conversation, which is flexible and adaptive, can reach people that a book, which is fixed, cannot.

Knowledge relationships may be hierarchical, in that I may know some piece of true information that you don't. However, from that perspective, there are multiple knowledge relationships between two people, and it is generally the case that you will also know some true information that I don't.

People also come to social media to be heard. It might be about a topic that doesn't have a large audience in their personal life, such as collecting Korean dolls. It might be to have a larger audience than they can access in real life. It might be to be heard by specific people.

When I came to Tumblr to write about politics in 2017, I did so because I thought that the quality of the national political discourse was quite poor, so that I could hardly do worse than what was regularly platformed by national outlets, but I felt that the quality of discourse in this area of Tumblr was fairly good, so that it was possible to have discourse that would generate light, not just heat.

I write to share information that I think others should know. I also write to gather feedback (and to practice writing). Rather than either-or, this can be thought of as a split, like 90%-10%, that varies by post.

Sometimes this means sharing information I know now that I think it would have been good for me to know when I was younger. Sometimes this means sharing information that I knew when I was your age, but which people who are currently your age do not know.

Tumblr has done something remarkable - it has restored intergenerational transmission of information. I'm not that old, but I believe that many of the more experienced users on this website feel the same as I do. We are all going to leave Tumblr at some point, either because we will become too busy, or because the isekai bus will finally catch up to us.

Confucius once said that, in old age, the best men guard themselves against acquisitiveness. As members of the forthcoming generation, your presence is worth more than gold. This is why, on Nov. 6th, I told you all to survive and become strong.

The next 50 years are going to see some major changes in the underlying dimensions of human society, with likely significant advances in AI (which makes capital more like labor) and in genetic engineering (which will offer an increase in health, but also poses major ethical challenges). You will likely live to make important choices about humanity's future, which will rapidly become the new present.

It is not necessary to become a master of abstraction. Rather, even a moderate improvement in the ability to think clearly, to weigh arguments, to evaluate evidence, and to see contradiction, makes it more difficult for others to lie to and manipulate you. When people are difficult to lie to, liars must proceed in uncertainty, and reduce the magnitude of their lies.

This creates a world which is safer for the weak, the busy, and the distracted. There are people who are too young or too old to seek out the correct information, or verify it.

There was a strain of thought over last decade that was suspicious of strength and agency, as only through strength is it possible to oppress others. The world, of course, is more complicated than this. It is only through strength that we can put compassion into practice, and it is only through agency that we can ensure that what we are doing is compassionate.

[blueaetherr]

always forever

pairing: kylian mbappe x fem!reader [she/her]

warning(s): none

summary: the one where they (separately) reflect(ish) on their relationship at an anniversary party

now playing: everything interlude + everything by kehlani

Everyone and everything should be in the right places now.

Sighing, Y/N diverted her eyes away from her phone and observed the large venue in question. At first glance, her thoughts materialised to be right. 

Everyone seemed to be in their own worlds, amusing and appreciating the company of one another. Tweens and kids playing mini-games and running around to avoid the telling-offs of moms and aunties, older teens chilling by the grand stairs discussing viral internet topics, and adults gossiping, debating and dancing spontaneously in the hall. No one seemed out of place; it was accommodating and open to all. 

So for the first time in a while Y/N leaned her head back and exhaled, allowing her thoughts and mind to fall uncomposed for a moment. As an event planner, it was in her nature to want the best for her clients, to care deeply and honestly about the results. But seeing as her clients this time were her parents who were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary—two adults who loved her unconditionally, indescribably—she wanted to go above and beyond with no room for mistakes. 

Then she frowned. Going to look at her phone, she mentioned, "Maybe I should—"

"I don't know what you're going to say, or what you're thinking but it's fine." A voice lingered from behind her, the owner of it soon finding himself way by her side. When her gaze finally met his, Kylian grinned and assured, "The food is fine, everyone's loving it. No, you don't need to order more, there's enough for everyone. And even if there wasn't, there's already a whole team to deal with it. Now that you know all that stop stressing for a minute please."

"I'm not stressing out, and I won't," Y/N crossed her arms, even shrugging. "I'm calm, fine even."

"Give me your phone if that's the case," Kylian said, holding out his hand. After their few years of dating Kylian soon came to realise that Y/N's (business) phone was her lifeline. She had it everywhere she went, having everything on there. Clients, brands, companies, potential locations for events. For his own amusement he wondered how long she could last without it.

Nodding, Y/N placed her phone in his hand. It was known Kylian had a big ego. She would do anything to prove him wrong, even if she meant she had to lie to do so. "Not that I need it... but when do I get it back?"

"When I feel like giving it back," Kylian chuckled as he slipped her phone into his suit pocket. Offering his arm to his girlfriend, he continued, "Now, c'mon. There's something you gotta see."

Joining hands they walked up the open staircase, passing by the older teens in their heated debates, passing by kids playing their improvised games, and made their way onto the first floor where you could receive an aerial view of the ground level, where you could see everyone and everything. That's when all of Y/N's worries began to fade out.

This was the first time she actually cared to acknowledge the venue she booked. The hall itself was open and vast and spectacular with a historical yet contemporary appearance, something she hadn't been able to experience only from the ground level. Then when you paired the venue with the celebrated couple, the guests, their attires, the music playing, the variations in dancing, everything she had been envisioning for the past few weeks just fell into place.

"When I said everything was fine I wasn't saying that just to say it. I meant it. I mean everything is fine—great—and all thanks to you," Kylian said, squeezing her hand. "I think they seem to think so too."

Following his glance her gaze fell upon the celebrated couple of the evening, her parents. By the front they formed a small circle with some friends, sharing some heavy conversation with their expressive smiles and waves of laughter. It was evident that there was fun and all between each word. 

"They were made for each other, huh?"

"I'm a bit biased with that, but yeah," Y/N laughed a bit "... I think so." From a young age everything about her parents' relationship always appeared romantic and ideal to her. From friends to family, they could never mention the two without mentioning things along the lines of inevitable, in love, strong bond, soulmates and all of the above. And it seemed to be true. 30 years of marriage and three kids later and everything everyone had been saying over the years still held up.

"For the longest time since I was a kid, seeing them interact was always just a breath of fresh air. Even when they argued, disagreed, during their hardest times, they were still... them," she breathed out, leaning on the pillar by her left. "And they still are, of course."

"And it rubbed off onto their kids too," Kylian observed. From his time with his girlfriend, the concept of love ran well deep in the L/N family. Both of Y/N's brothers were in their respective relationships and he could easily see their dad's qualities in them.

She scoffed out of a laugh, her lips curling up. "I want to say more on me than on my brothers."

"If that's what you really think," Kylian hummed, soon consumed with laughter when Y/N decided to flip him off. Calming down, he continued, "I really loved your parents' speeches, especially your dad's."

"Yeah." Watching her parents laughing between themselves, she felt her face ease as she grinned. Part of the reason she went all out for her parents was mainly because she really admired their love and partnership for one another, both pure and long-lasting. Some decades together kinda made them living proof of everything she wanted in her own relationship. Also, they simply deserved some appreciation and celebration. "Wait, why did you like his so much?"

"I never truly loved anyone before you. And I never want to know a world after you, either," Kylian recited. "Reminded me of what I want to be for you. That is, of course, if you'll let me try."

Listening to her parents' speeches—listening to their highs and lows, how they met, highlights of their marriage (so far)—Kylian noticed that neither bothered to utter those three words. Then he understood something; her parents didn't need to. The way they spoke about one another, the way they would look at one another, it was all enough to let him know how they felt. He felt like if he ever did hear them say them then it would feel underwhelming.

There was no replicating their love, Kylian knew that well. It was too unique and personal to try. Still, he wanted something unique and personal and strong with Y/N. Love that couldn't break down permanently. Love that could be built up again when hard times hit. Love that was kind and forgiving and whole. Love that he could offer Y/N anytime and anywhere. That was enough to keep him at ease and secure in their relationship.

Feeling her dimples sink in, she nodded, openly accepting Kylian's care and love. 'Cause just like her dad taught her, you deserve love, and you'll always be deserving of it. "Of course, and me too for you."

"Now, let's dance."

There they were in the sea of guests on the dancefloor, smiling, dancing and singing along to their favourite songs. Smiling at one another in love, awe and wonder, laughing whenever they would misstep on a turn or swirl, leaning on each other for that physical support and closeness with so many bodies around them. In true happiness and enjoyment.

As Kylian and Y/N danced and smiled and clowned each other for reasons beyond dancing, despite being subtle and casual, they became the main event in that moment, stuck in a timeless interlude. To friends, to family, to her parents. Suddenly, they were on public display, their relationship and love, too. And it was all... wondrous, so wondrous, and delicate and endearing and intimate. 

In their dancing, their smiles and jokes galore, unknowingly, they were everything they wanted and needed to be for each other, sharing love that was indeed unique, personal and strong.

[cillianmesoftlyyy]

The Ward Pt. 2 | Jonathan Breech x fem!character

Summary: Jonathan Breech is sentenced to three months in a Dublin psych ward after trying to take his life. He meets a girl and thinks he's fallen in love... but is this just a product of opportunity and loneliness or could it be more?

Warnings: Based heavily on One the Edge (2001) so there is already a lot of mental-health specific discussions. More specifically- mentions of suicide, self-harm, death, depression, anxiety, feeling helpless and alone, medication, vomiting, pregnancy. There is nothing explicitly sexual in pt. 2, just kissing, so there are no warnings for that here. Please don't read if you think any of the previously mentioned topics could be triggering! Some of this is taken from my personal experience with mental-health issues so read with care.

word count: 4019k

Leif Erikson- Interpol 🎶

Sad girl- Lana del Rey 🎵

Note- One the Edge is free on Internet Archive...

Please read the warnings before continuing, thanks!

He stumbled back to his room, wiping sweat from the back of his neck beneath his normal clothes. He laughed silently as he watched Toby sneak back into his own room before he opened his door. His room was dark and he slipped inside, trying hard not to make any sound as he shut the door slowly. He was only a little tipsy and the run back to the hospital from the bar cleared his head. He’d already caused trouble and forced himself and Toby into a predicament with three large men that involved running all over Dublin for an hour until they could make it back to the hospital. Jonathan’s life was anything but boring to say the least. As he closed the door and turned to take off his jacket the sight of someone sitting on his bed nearly made him lose his balance and fall. He caught himself on the doorframe and clutched his chest. 

“You scared the shit out of me,” he panted. Margaret, having been sitting against the wall on his bed, rolled over. 

“Sorry, sorry! I came in here earlier looking for you and you weren’t here.” 

“So you sat here in the dark for God knows how long?” He laughed painfully and slapped a hand across his forehead.

“It makes me sound perverted when you say it like that,” she got off the bed and wrapped her arms around herself. She silently gave thanks that the room was dark and he couldn’t see the rush of heat to her face from pure mortification. “I just thought you’d be happy to see me. I shouldn’t have assumed…” She avoided his eyes that shone even in the darkness. She tried to step around him to the door but he stopped her, gently putting his hands around her shoulders. His hands were cold and clammy from the run. 

“No, I do want you here… even if you are perverted,” he smiled and she relaxed a little under his hands. 

“Where were you?” She asked him as he took off his jacket and stuffed it in a bag beneath the bed. 

“I snuck out with Toby and we went to a bar.” He sat on the bed with a sigh and leaned his back against the cool wall. He patted the space beside him at the foot of the mattress and she joined him hesitantly. She sat beside him but left some space, still too nervous to get too close to this boy that she really didn’t know. 

“Did you have fun?” She smiled and noticed the way he was still catching his breath from running. 

“Oh yeah. Toby and I got into this brawl and I got a few good punches in before Toby pulled me away and we made a run for it.” 

“Are you lying?” She leaned her head against the wall and turned it to the side to look at him. He smiled cheekily at her and rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, but for the sake of the story, pretend I’m not.” He whispered. 

“Ok,” she nodded, “but how did you get out?”

“Toby found this ladder a while ago and so he puts it against the wall and climbs over it. There were some trash cans on the other side so we just jumped off of them and onto the street. The bar was just a few streets over.” He talked with his hands and she caught herself biting her lip as she watched him. “We’ll all go next time but Toby and I will have to wear disguises because they may recognize us, you’ll be fine.” 

She laughed and covered her mouth so that she wouldn’t be heard down the corridor. Jonathan watched her, interested. The way she laughed when her hand wasn’t there showed the wound on her lip. The scab had basically healed but there was still a deep bruise and the skin around the scab was still slightly swollen. When Margaret stopped laughing he put his thumb gently against the scab and pulled away. 

“How did you get that?” He asked her, his eyes on her lips. She trembled slightly from his touch, her lips still warm where his thumb was. She shrugged.

“I fell,” she whispered. 

“You fell?” He raised an eyebrow that she could still see even in the dark. He was close and she could smell the heat leaking from his skin like pheromones. She laughed lightly and nodded.

“I know it sounds like one of those lame excuses but I fell and busted my lip.” She waved at her lip and looked away, hoping he wouldn’t ask for further explanation. 

“It sounds like there’s a lot more to that story.” He prodded softly and she looked at him, her eyes sad. 

“Well, there’s a reason why each of us are here.” She said softly and watched as he started to understand. “What’s yours?” She asked and he exhaled deeply. 

“I tried to kill myself,” Jonathan answered, his lips pursed. 

“I did too. That’s why we’re all in-patient.” She nodded and looked at the opposite wall. He watched her, following the outline of her nose with his eyes. He imagined reaching out to her and pulling her into his chest, not having to speak but just holding one another. 

“I drove a car off of a cliff,” he finally said and she turned quickly, looking between his eyes. 

“Are you lying?” She asked seriously and he shook his head.

“No.” 

“And you lived.” She looked down at his body and then back up to his pale face. 

“I was wearing a fucking seatbelt,” he pulled at the skin on his face and sighed, “I didn’t break anything except for my pinky finger. The judge gave me four months in here for trying and failing to kill myself. I can’t tell whether he was punishing me for trying or failing to kill myself,” he shrugged, “but it was also someone else’s car so maybe that was it.”

“You stole someone’s car?” She nearly laughed in disbelief and had to clamp a hand across her mouth. 

“Technically it was already stolen, I stole it from the people who stole it in the first place.” He smiled and folded his arms over his chest. 

“You must be lying,” she gasped and he shook his head, smiling.

“No, that’s all completely true.” 

“Jesus…” She fell back against the wall and sighed. Jonathan looked over at her before changing the conversation back to her. 

“So how did you do it?” He asked her gently. She paused and glanced over at him before looking down at her hands. She played with the thick hem of her jumper and sighed. 

“I took all of my medications one night before bed and passed out but before I could die, my body woke itself up and forced me to throw up all of the partially-digested medications that I had swallowed. I don’t remember any of it but my roommate found me on the bathroom floor, face down on the tile. I busted my lip really bad in the fall and I got some bruises and stuff. They think that my body instinctively went into the bathroom where I threw up everything in my stomach and when I stood back up, I lost consciousness and fell face first onto the bathroom floor. I woke up again in the hospital where they had pumped my stomach and tied me down to the bed. Someone from psych talked to me and told me that I was being transferred to the psych ward where they would determine the next best course of treatment. They insisted that I stay here and the college agreed but they never told me for how long. They’ve taken me off my medications for a while so my body can detox I guess. ”

“Does your family know?” He asked and she looked up at the ceiling, tears pooling in her eyes. 

“Yeah… yeah they do. They thought that I was just doing it for attention. They always call me dramatic and shit but they don’t understand that I had no intention to wake up after I took the pills. I didn’t want the attention, I just wanted to die.” She kept her voice even while tears trickled down her cheeks. She wiped them away and sniffed. Jonathan said nothing for a while. 

“I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be alive,” he looked at her and she smiled sadly. “Come here,” he opened his arms and pulled Margaret into them. She kept her hands by her face but she allowed him to swallow her up in his arms which were warm and comforting. She laid against his chest and he smoothed her hair back. Without communicating, they separated and laid down, facing each other on the pillow. She curled her hands beneath her cheek and looked into Jonathan’s eyes. He put one hand on her cheek and wiped away the last of the tears from her face. 

“What about you? Does your family know that you’re here?” She whispered.

“My mom and da are dead but my brother knows. He’s ok, you know? The silly bastard gives a fuck about me when no one else does, so you have to give it to him. He cares.” He smiled.

“I care about you,” Margaret whispered honestly and he smiled, “I think.” She added, smiling and he moved his hands beneath his face. 

“You think? Wow, I’m truly honored.” He teased her and she laughed quietly into the pillow. He licked his lips but broke his eyes away from her’s, not wanting to escalate things. “You know when Dr. Figure asked us about our fears?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“What are yours?” 

“Well I’m scared of all the normal things like being alone, being forgotten, the dark…”

“You’re scared of the dark still?” 

“Yeah, it's horrible here because it’s so dark. Dr. Figure got me a nightlight to use when my anxiety gets bad. My brain tricks me into thinking that there are things in my room sometimes, especially when I’m upset about something else or stressed.” 

“And what else?”

“I have a phobia of being pregnant and giving birth for some reason, those are the really weird ones. I have nightmares that I’m pregnant and it’s horrible,” she mimed having a swollen belly and he laughed. 

“What about you?” She asked him and he thought for a moment, humming softly. 

“Besides my overwhelming fear of being pregnant,” he joked and Margaret hit his chest playfully, “I’m scared that I’ll never get better,” Jonathan looked up at Margaret. She looked down at his chest, understanding what he meant and nodding. “...and I’m scared that people like Dr. Figure will give up on me,” he whispered. Margaret flicked her eyes back up to Jonathan’s face and said nothing. 

“I’m scared that one day, if they manage to heal me completely, I won’t be able to feel some of these feelings, the ones that are powerfully sad but make me feel alive- human,” she whispered finally and he watched her as she brushed her hair behind her ear. 

“I’m scared of telling people the truth about how I feel,” Jonathan responded and Margaret smiled sadly. 

“So do I.” 

They smiled sadly at each other and listened to the ticking of the analog clock on the wall. Finally, Margaret shifted closer and raised herself up on her elbows, her hair creating curtains around them. 

“Can I kiss you?” She whispered slowly, her face was hot and she stuttered slightly as she asked. Jonathan smiled and kissed her first. She was nervous and inexperienced so she struggled to follow Jonathan’s rhythm but he made no show of disappointment. Margaret put one hand against Jonathan’s face and opened her mouth as Jonathan started to suck her tongue. She pulled away and blushed further. 

“Are you ok?” Jonathan furrowed his brow. 

“Yeah, I just… I haven’t really kissed anyone like this before. I don’t know what to do.” She looked down, embarrassed and Jonathan chuckled sweetly. 

“It’s ok, you can take the lead. I’ll kiss you back how you kiss me,” he explained slowly and she nodded. She kissed him first this time and placed short kisses against his wide lips. Then she locked her lips against his and allowed herself to kiss him for longer, pulling her lips away only to shift them and kiss him again. He followed her lead and kissed her in the same way which was strictly innocent and naive but it still excited him. She licked his top lip and put her thumbs against his chin, sucking gently on his top lip. Jonathan pulled away for a moment and touched her bottom lip gently.

“Does your lip hurt?”

“No,” she whispered back and he leaned forward again to kiss her. Finally she began to grow more comfortable and tried to french kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth. They kissed deeper and she breathed breathlessly against him as he pulled her close to his chest. She broke away and kissed down his neck, pulling aside his collar so that she could kiss his shoulder. He sighed against her ear and twirled a piece of her hair between his fingers. When she finally broke away she rested her head on the pillow again and shifted closer to Jonathan. She left her hand on the bed between them and Jonathan took it. He ran his thumb over the top of her hand and traced the small veins. 

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Margaret whispered and Jonathan looked up at her, smirking. 

“Yeah,” he nodded and shifted his head on the pillow, their faces close together. Margaret’s eyes fluttered softly as she started to fall asleep and he watched her, running his thumb against her hand as she slept. 

When he woke up the next morning, she was gone. She’d left his room but not before she kissed his hairline, to go back to the women’s ward before a nurse noticed that she was gone. She hugged herself as she wandered back to her room, smiling and forgetting to breathe. She crawled beneath her own covers and tried to fall back asleep as the sun started to rise through the window. 

…

“I have a pledge that I’d like you to consider, Jonathan,” Dr. Figure slid a piece of paper across the table to Jonathan. 

“You’re calling it a fucking pledge?” Jonathan scoffed and laughed. 

“Everyone else in group therapy has already signed the pledge agreement. It basically says that you will go the next month without hurting yourself in any way, cutting, burning, inflicting pain on purpose…” Dr. Figure explained and Jonathan rubbed his hand over his lips, “A month from now is roughly New Year’s Day, so if you make it till then, you could leave without having to finish your entire sentence.” 

“Do I have a choice?” He shifted against the door jam, refusing to actually sit at Dr. Figure’s desk. 

“Of course you do,” Dr. Figure sighed, “but it doesn’t hurt to try.” 

“Mhm, ok. I’ll sign your fucking pledge,” Jonathan walked up to the desk and took a pen from the pen holder. He signed his name across the dotted line and put the pen back. “Now what happens if I break the pledge? Do you kill me before I can kill myself?” 

“You have to stay the full time and maybe more, depending on how you break the pledge.” 

Jonathan nodded and cocked his head to the side, “pretty solid stuff, doc. Good work.” 

“Thank you, Jonathan.” Dr. Figure answered with a tired sigh. 

“Why do you still work here? You sound exhausted all the time. Obviously you hate working here with kids like us, why do you do it?” Jonathan crossed his arms across his chest and looked down at Dr. Figure. 

“I do it because believe it or not, I care. This is what I was made to do. You may think that I’m exhausted and fed up with you and everyone else but I’m not. I’m not so easily breakable or deterred. You can give me as much of a hard time as you want, Jonathan, but I will help you. In the end, you’re just going to have to let me.” Dr. Figure propped his elbows up on his desk and clasped his hands together. They sat in a heavy silence until Jonathan sniffed. 

“Can I go now?” 

“Sure,” Dr. Figure waved him out and put Jonathan’s pledge into a folder and tucked it away into his desk drawer. Jonathan spun around and left the room, swinging his arms comically as he left the house. 

As he walked back to the main hospital building he passed the bench and sitting there were Margaret and Toby, talking. Toby had a walkman in his hand and was showing it to Margaret who smiled. Her finger held a place in her book which was in the middle. Jonathan shoved his hands into his pockets, and approached them, his footsteps crunching on the brittle grass. 

“Heya guys,” Jonathan shrugged his shoulders in greeting. Toby greeted him back and Margaret blushed, just meeting his eyes with a smile but not saying anything back. 

“Did he make you sign that pledge?” Toby asked and Jonathan laughed. 

“Yep, no violence until New Year’s Day, then we can go all out.” Jonathan joked and perched on the armrest of the bench beside Margaret. “Did you both sign it?” 

“Yeah,” Toby nodded with a shake of his head, “how they’re going to manage it I don’t know.”

“I did too,” Margaret offered softly and looked at Toby as he continued to talk. She looked brighter today, Jonathan noticed. Her eyes were softer and the bags beneath them had recovered. She was wearing her nightgown again with the same dark green jumper and brown socks. She had goosebumps up her round thighs and Jonathan resisted the urge to trail his hands up the flesh there. 

“As long as we don’t try to kill ourselves until New Year’s…” Toby shrugged, “it just can’t be something that they’d notice I guess. They haven’t checked me for signs of harm,” Toby continued and Margaret nodded. 

“I think Dr. Figure trusts us to tell him when we break the pledge. He wants us to develop a sense of trust for him where we would feel comfortable telling him,” Margaret offered and the boys nodded. 

“What happens if we wait until New Year’s Day and then just kill ourselves?” Jonathan joked darkly and Toby laughed. 

“I don’t think Dr. Figure has thought that far ahead,” Toby shrugged and Margaret pulled down the hem of her nightgown and shivered. 

“Are you cold?” Toby asked and Margaret shrugged.

“Not especially, it's not as cold today as it was yesterday. The sun’s out.” She looked up at the sky where the sun was not obscured by clouds. Her face looked golden in the light. 

“I’m going to go inside now,” Toby rubbed his hands together and stood, “I’ve done my outside time. I’ll be in the rec room watching the MASH reruns.” He walked away and the cords of his robe wavered behind him in the wind. Jonathan sat down beside Margaret and watched her. She finally turned toward him and blushed again. 

“Am I allowed to say that you look beautiful?” Jonathan cocked his head and Margaret laughed. She turned back to him and smiled. 

“Sure,” she nodded and Jonathan stuffed his hands beneath his armpits to warm them. 

“You’re beautiful,” he told her. 

“Thank you. I think you’re pretty.” She said softly and Jonathan laughed loudly, surprised. 

“You think I'm pretty?” 

“Yeah, I think you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.” She blushed. 

“I can’t tell whether that’s a blow to my masculinity or a compliment.”

“Only men can be pretty and the best ones are always pretty, not “hot,” I don’t like that word. I think the word “pretty” matches you well. I think you’re pretty.” She explained and Jonathan nodded, pretending to think it over. 

“Ok, then I accept it.” They were quiet for a moment before Jonathan started again, “Did you and Toby…” he started and his voice fell always suggestively. She swallowed and shook her head. 

“No, I mean I thought he liked me when we both first got here but… I think Toby’s gay.” She answered him honestly and Jonathan nodded. 

“But you liked him at first too?” 

“Maybe a little,” she glanced at him and smiled, “but he was convenient to like and I had just tried to kill myself. I wanted to feel something… like you.” She pointed out the similarities and Jonathan looked out at the hedges. “You like me because I’m convenient. I’m not very pretty or special, in fact, you were the first person I’ve ever kissed. There are plenty of more attractive girls out there. You picked me because I’m here.” 

Jonathan looked at her, his brows furrowed. He didn’t know what to say so he said nothing. 

“I don’t blame you. It’s why I liked Toby in the beginning but I realized after a while that I didn’t like him in that way, I just thought I did because he was nice to me and happened to be in the same situation. I’m not saying that it isn’t nice to find someone and seek comfort from them while we’re stuck in this fucking place; and I don’t regret last night at all. I just don’t want you to realize in a few weeks that you don’t like me at all and I realize that I like you too much,” she looked at him and her hair shifted over her shoulders. She stood and walked away, leaving him alone on the bench. Jonathan leaned over and rested his elbows on his knees and put his face into his hands. He massaged his eye sockets as he thought about what she had said. 

He spent the day thinking and wandering around the hospital. He sat in the rec room that night and watched Singing in the Rain on the small box tv that was covered in plexiglass. An older woman who sat beside him took his hand and he took the hand of the older man on his other side. Jonathan imagined that they were his parents and they were watching a movie on some weekend night, spending time together like when he was a little kid. As he watched the movie, he decided that he was going to follow the pledge and that one day, he was going to get better, because Margaret was right. In here, she was convenient, but out there, he could be with her because he truly wanted to be with her.

That night he sat on his bed and took off his shirt, looking at the expanse of flesh. He’d snuck a razor blade into the hospital and hidden it in his carton of cigarettes. He retrieved it from the carton and stared at it, not moving to apply it gently to his skin. The blade reflected the moonlight shining in through the window and he twirled it between his fingers. He was good at hiding his depression, shoving it down into his stomach and covering it with fluffy feelings and jokes but at night when he was alone, they came up again like an unmade bed. He wanted the release that the blade offered when he desperately needed it but he closed his eyes and threw the blade across the floor where it hit the opposite wall. He wiped his nose on his wrist and looked out the window, hiding his tears. He hugged his waist with his other arm and stayed like that, watching the window and thinking about the well of pain he couldn’t quite name or target. His pain was all over, not connected to one source, which made it all worse. Finally he curled up in a ball and fell asleep, cold but wanting to feel the discomfort that overpowered his depressive pain.

...

end of pt. 2 :)

[acciocriativity]

hii!! i saw ur ateez bf headcanon on san and mingi,, can u also do for seonghwa and yunho? i love it so much⊂⁠(⁠´⁠･⁠◡⁠･⁠⊂⁠ ⁠)⁠∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠° thank you in advance! have a hreat day!♡⁠(⁠˃͈⁠ ⁠દ⁠ ⁠˂͈⁠ ⁠༶⁠ ⁠)

Hey there, anon 👋 Thank you for your support, have a lovely day 💕

N/A: I just want to thank you all for the overwhelming amount of love San's and Mingi's headcanons received. The next are going to be Yunho and Wooyoung's version! I'll get to all of them eventually <3

Ateez as boyfriend's - PSH & KHJ headcanon

Yeosang and Jongho's version

Yunho and Wooyoung's version

San and Mingi's version

Ateez Masterlist

Park Seonghwa (박성화)

So, I'm not gonna lie, you had a long way to walk with this one.

It's a known fact Seonghwa is not the best at making friends, he has some insecurities, now, can you imagine if he has to talk to someone he has a crush on?

Of course he needed some Wooyoung magic to get you to talk to him, he was way too shy to approach you first.

There were too many possibilities, you could be in a relationship already or liking someone else already and he couldn't just ask out of nowhere. SO, he befriended you with the pure intention of being just your friend, he did want that, he wanted to close to you and to get to know you better.

But it was harder than he thought.

You two clicked right away, you have similar hobbies and taste for music, it was easy to talk to you, the real problem was he was falling way to fast and way too deep and didn't know that to do with himself.

As your boyfriend, things were so much easier. The heavy weight was lifted of his shoulders and he was able to relax around you.

He'd drop the whole "cool guy persona" he thought he needed to woo your heart over and be more of himself very fast tho, so don't worry about it.

Now, he is used to be the one taking care of everyone and he wholeheartedly doesn't expect anything in return, yet, here you are, taking as much care of him too.

He's mushy in your hands whenever you do it, even if it's subtle like fixing his hair or brushing something off his clothes. Acts of survice it's his main love language, after all.

Also if you cook for him ( or get delivery before he arrives home if you don't cook) he's a goner. Food is a love language on itself, one he is quite fluent.

He'll cook your favorites foods and you better bet he's buying a cook book full of recipes from your home country (he doesn't trust internet recipes to get everything perfect).

He's a very sweet lover in general, he just wants you to know every single day how much he appreciates you and your relationship with him.

Also one of the biggest with petnames!! I see him being more of a classic one, so 자기야 will be his favorite (an equivalent to honey), also darling, just because he'll like the sound of it.

I do believe a big fight will be rare for you both. Mostly because he rather straight up tell you if there's something bothering him and talk through it.

He hates yelling, big fights, hurtful words, it's his nightmare. He doesn't see himself as someone who does that nor he wants to do it.

If a heated discussion were to happen, he'll just hear you out first, although he wants to interrupt from time to time.

After you finish, he tries to calm both you and him first. These situations stress him and nothing good comes out of that.

Then, he'll tell his side and would take what you said in consideration to have an agreement.

If it's serious of course!

Because is it's not?? He's full on taking personally as if you just insulted his mother, but you just said you don't like his favorite flavor of pizza.

And I mean pacing around the room, hands on his hair, asking himself how he was able to date someone with a horrible taste for pizza and so on, until he can't anymore and starts to laugh.

I see him as someone really private in general, so although everyone close to him would know he is a relationship, he wouldn't expose too much of it to his parents nor to the boys in the beginning.

With time, he'll introduce you to both of his families little by little, until you are interacting with them like you always been there.

An important detail! He's still an extravert and he has a lot of energy to spend. It's a wild ride, but he'll appreciate if you match his energy and go with the flow.

Also if you also a lego person or a star wars person? He'll love to share his hobbies with you. Yes, that means movie marathon on his breaks and he'll let you build with him, he just loves you that much.

He rather stay home for safety, but when you two go out, he searches carefully for a quiet and private place, where you can enjoy each others company in peace.

Kim Hongjoong (김홍중)

This dude right here? No problem taking to you at all. He'll be the one starting everything in your relationship without even realizing it.

The funny thing is, he's the type to fall hard, but not fast.

He is the definition of friends to lovers. He may feel something, but he'd brush it off as a fleeing thing. It wasn't.

He was scared to say something because he didn't want to come off like those dudes that befriend a girl because they were interested and she wasn't available for whatever reason. He wasn't trying to wait for an opportunity "to attack" or something like that.

Still, he is not a patient person and he reached his limit quite fast, specially if you don't pick up the hints he's dropping.

I see him being a bit shyer as your boyfriend in the beginning, just because of the change in the dynamics between you two.

He was the one who initiated, yet he still had to remind himself that he WAS allowed to touch you more and express how much you mean to him now, since he was holding some of that in.

But omg, now that you two are together??? He's not holding anything in at this point. Again impacient man, but also because he's falling hard than he thought he would.

We know he's not that much into physical affection, so you waited for the green flag on his side for that and he did realize soon he enjoyed a lot more when it was with you, actually, he craved it.

I can see him sticking to a nickname of yours or the classic 자기야 to call you. I don't see him that into petnames.

He's love language is quality time and acts of service, which is quite ironic since he doesn't have as much time available as he would want to.

Still, he is a dedicated boyfriend. He works his schedule to give you at least 2 hours everyday, sometimes it's easier and you have more time together and other times it's harder and it's less time.

When he is at the studio, he likes to make little productivity sessions with you, so you are able to be close to him and still do your thing as he does his.

(A whole headcanon about this is coming soon!!)

Also, he is passionate about art, any kind of art, especially the one's he creates, so share that with you before anyone else it's his ultimate demonstration of love and trust.

He trusts you to give him honest opinions and takes, but also to be vulnerable with you, to show a more sensitive side of himself, because he knows you'd understand and listen.

We know he's not the greatest at taking care of himself, so if you choose to do that willingly, he's so so thankful.

He does feel bad to give you extra trouble, even he doesn't in your point of view. He tries to be better so you don't have to do as much as you do for him.

I'm so sorry but if you reach a point of really fighting, it's going to be bad.

Like, he usually is good at managing a heated discussion. He knows when he's getting really frustrated and most of time he kinda pauses everything and takes a break from you and the situation. He always comes back to finish it with a lighter heart.

But sometimes he won't do that for multiple reasons, stress, tiredness, etc. If you really want to fight because of something, ok, great, you're are fighting then. That's his mentality, because he's tired of holding back.

He's a stubborn mf, so he'd fight with every fiber of his body and he'd say it whatever it is like he's 100% in the right.

It's like a explosion really. Also he's the type to recall things and throw it in your face. I'm sorry, he's petty like that.

He could be the one apologizing first, but you have to approach him first. Again, stubborn. He'd think he's right, until you start to talk and then reality will hit him like a truck.

He'd make the effort to fix his wrongs as long as you're willing to do the same, so it would work out.

He would also waits longer than Seonghwa to tell more about you to his members and family. He wants to feel like he's 100% secure in your relationship to do that and that for him means time.

The boys would be little shits tho so he gives up little by little. They regret that, because now they'd have to listen Hongjoong talking about you all the time and he doesn't even realize it's too much, but when he does, he keeps going on purpose.

His perfect day it's you two together, although he rather a quiet and secure place like his or your home, or his studio if it's late in the night.

Reblogs are highly appreciated. Thank you for reading! (^o^)