#the moment we didn't know we need | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dykedvonte · 3 days ago

Note

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces #regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary #but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful #and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to #explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen #in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what #is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit #from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line #in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue #that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t #upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do #something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those #two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example #or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the #fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically #violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out #in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game #but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of #rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se #how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is #concerned about with Jimmy #and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy #instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste #which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab #complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post #on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if #you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make #the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions

153 notes · View notes

sillyfudgemonkeys · 8 months ago

Text

How I've seen most people write Rangi coming out to her mom:

Rangi: Mom, I have something to tell you.

Hei-Ran: Go on.

Rangi: Kyoshi and I.....are.....together.

Hei-Ran: Oh I'm so happy for you.

*they hug it out, much wholesome*

How I think the coming out scene went:

Rangi: Mother. I need to tell you something, Kyoshi and I are together.

Hei-Ran: Oh thank the spirits. It finally happened.

Rangi: ???? You knew????

Hei-Ran: Sweetie, everyone in the mansion-no, all of Yokoya knew about it! Well except for Kyoshi.

Rangi: ????!! WHAT?!

Hei-Ran: I'm pretty sure Jianzhu thought you were dating, that's probably why he kidnapped you, you know?

Rangi: WH-HOW?!

Hei-Ran: Oh please, we saw your gay little ass running all over the damn mansion just to be near Kyoshi and to impress her. We were mute, not blind and deaf!

Rangi, having a crisis: I-wha-but-

Hei-Ran: Well, you aren't very good at hiding your emotions sweetie.

Rangi, flipping a nearby table: The fuck you mean I'm not?????!

Hei-Ran: Oh curses, go get Atuat, I owe her $5.

Rangi: YOU BETTED ON THIS????? WITH YOUR DOCTOR?????

Hei-Ran: Well Kelsang is dead, so I had to keep our bet alive somehow.

Rangi: I-*inhales* YOu know what? Doesn't matter! Do you accept Kyoshi or not?

Hei-Ran: Anybody who gives my girl that much cardio is 100% welcome into our family. In fact, I already added her to our family registry 2 years ago. As far as the Fire Nation is concerned, you two have been married for a while.

#rangi #hei-ran #rangi sei'naka #rise of kyoshi #shadow of kyoshi #rangi seinaka #hei-ran sei'naka #hei-ran seinaka #rangshi #rangi thought she was good at hiding stuff but it turns out that kyoshi is just THAT DENSE #everyone wants a sweet moment #i want rangi's blood pressure to rise #rangi didn't talk to her mom for 3 days after that because of the all the emotions she was feeling #i'm right this is 100% in character #(tbf I think most of the stuff i've seen was pre shadow of Kyoshi which misses out on Rangi's unhinged-ness u_u)#i'm sorry I just....need a kyoshi prequel where there's a running gag of Rangi just showing up TT0TT #kyoshi: oh she's so punctual and cool I wonder how she does it?#us: *trying not to lose it bc we know rangi is BUSTING HER ASS to look that way*#rangi the loser: *trying so fucking hard not to wheeze keel over and die in front of kyoshi*#rangi is somehow both girlboss and girlfail it's great the duality #rangi: i'm doing so well #narrator: she in fact was not doing well at all

298 notes · View notes

jtl-fics · 1 year ago

Text

Fluent Freshman - Part 42

There are things that change a person.

Moments where after they happen they simply cannot un-happen. Things that a person hears that they cannot un-hear. Promises that a person makes that they can’t, and perhaps even wouldn’t, un-make.

Jeremy’s moment came over winter break the previous year. Jeremy heard things that he could never un-hear in the middle of the night. Jeremy made a promise that he would never break while in the guest room of his parent’s house holding one Jean Moreau tight as he talked about the Nest.

Jeremy was different after that night.

Not wildly different. Not to most.

The only ones who knew had also had a moment, had also heard things, and had also made promises that they intended to keep.

Jeremy is on his way back from the bathroom with a freshly washed handkerchief from the Fox’s most promising Freshman when it all happens.

He watches Richard throw a glass on the ground and go for Caleb’s throat which in all honesty he had been anticipating since he’d seen the seating arrangements. Sitting the Jackals with the Terrapins? After Caleb seduced Alyssa during the Fall Banquet? Who thought that was a good idea?

Jeremy sees FF and sees that he is alone and wonders where Michael had gone off to. He’s glad that FF has stayed put, the guys quiet but he’s not bad company. Jeremy thinks he would have gotten along pretty well with Jean if he hadn’t flubbed the recruitment.

“He just got a restraining order against that step-brother of his.” Aaron Minyard says explaining the awkward air after Jeremy had spoken. “He’s a Fox.” he adds and Jeremy had felt foolish in that moment.

It should have been obvious.

He hears a scream and sees that one of the Terrapins has joined in the brawl and he has one of the steak knives.

What was the point of that when they had pre-sliced tenderloin anyways? He looks over and sees Anita Flores watching the evening start to go down in flames and all he can think is that she’ll probably do better next time. It’s the first banquet she’s run on her own since Claire retired in the fall.

His eyes go to Jean when he hears another scream.

He can see Laila with Jean and Kevin. He can see Alvarez making her way to the two of them. The Trojans know better after last Winter Banquet. They come together and don’t make it obvious that Jean is at the center of their formation.

He sees Melissa get punched when she tries to get between Richard and Caleb. He’s sure she probably just doesn’t like having this kind of violence at her stadium but getting directly between Richard and Caleb wasn’t her smartest move.

Oh Jacob took exception to that. Well Jeremy can hardly blame the guy when his girlfriend and Captain gets punched like that. Caleb’s just lucky that she’s not dating Malcolm any-

Oh Malcolm is getting in on it. I guess he does still have feelings for Melissa. They had been real cute until he cheated on her. He thinks Melissa is better off with Jacob but who knows.

He looks to Jean again and sees that Kevin is leaving the Trojan encirclement and can see the other Foxes start to head for the exit as the fighting grows more intense. He sees Andrew holding Neil’s hand in a vice grip and-

Oh, of course they’d be anxious here. Of course the Foxes were on edge.

He looks and FF is still sat at the table seemingly unbothered by the chaos erupting around him. He watches as the Foxes make their way to the table where FF is sat. Sees them gathering their belongings and sees FF remain seated, eyes on them and then on the chaos.

Ah, the rearguard.

He nods and diverts his attention back to the mess at hand. Honestly Caleb shouldn’t bait Richard and Richard should be glad that he didn’t propose to someone who’d cheat on him. They’d talked about it and it wasn’t like he had customized the ring or anything so he got his full deposit back. He thought Richard was feeling better about the whole thing, had even been dating Erika and-

Ohh yeah there’s Erika with a Terrapin’s jacket over her shoulders and a hickey that he’s pretty sure Richard hadn’t left on her neck.

Man Caleb what the hell, what did Richard even do? Caleb you don’t even like girl-

Ohhhh.

Caleb….bro. There are better ways to handle a crush.

Now fully understanding the situation Jeremy can’t help but think that it’s actually a pretty simple solution. Well, not simple. Richard is pretty straight but like a firm talking to with Caleb will probably-

“Hey, back off!” He hears Alvarez and his head whips around back to Jean where it shouldn’t have left.

Ravens.

Those Ravens.

Jeremy made a promise.

Jeremy had taken lessons over the summer and-

God it felt good to slam his fist into Johnson’s stupid awful ugly chin. The only thing that was even sweeter was sinking his fist into Reacher’s gut.

“Knox what the fuck?!” he heard Jasmine exclaim and they’d been buddies at one point but it was hard to feel anything positive for a girl who watched.

“I warned you guys during the Fall Banquet didn’t I?” Jeremy asks with a smile as he shakes out his hand. He looks to the side and sees that the rest of the team has now fully encircled Jean. Nothing was getting through them to-

It’s too late that Jeremy sees a younger Raven meatball in hand. He tries to stop it but his arms are too short and it nails Jean right in the forehead.

He looks at the marinara roll down Jean’s forehead as he blinks in surprise. Laila lets out a scream and has him cradled in her arms and out of sight before Jean even seems to fully understand what is going on.

“Jean, it’s going to be okay.” Jeremy hears Laila assure.

“Laila, what in the world are you freaking out about?” Jean asks. “I’m French, not Italian. I would not bleed marinara sauce.” Jeremy hears him say out of sight and if Jeremy wasn’t so mad he’d laugh.

“That’s it!” Alvarez exclaims and slugs the sophomore who had lobbed the errant meatball and from there it was an all out brawl between the Trojans and the Ravens. They were all defensive over their frenchmen especially against his old team and Jeremy thinks about the investigation he’s been pushing the ERC towards. Thinks about all the little things he has questioned and put into the heads of all of his friends throughout the Division.

He makes his way to Jean as Ned and Jim have taken on the task of handling Reacher and Johnson.

“God, first the sparse wine selection and now this.” Jean says from where Laila was trying to wipe sauce from his face.

“Here, use this.” he offers FF’s handkerchief and thinks about getting a few himself.

Laila takes the handkerchief, “I thought you said there was a lot of wine.” she says.

“No, I said Kevin was doing a lot of whining.” Jean corrects eyes closed as Laila cleans his face off. Jeremy looks towards the Fox table and wonders how he’ll get the handkerchief back to FF and sees FF rising up from the table and quickly put on his jacket before heading out the door after the rest of the Foxes.

What bothers him is the security guards following them. Everyone should know that security guards + the Foxes + Binghamton = Andrew might start stabbing people.

His concern only grows greater when he sees Michael and a few other Ravens follow.

***

There are things that change a person.

Experiences that you never want to experience again. Words that can never be spoken again. Feelings that can never be carefully locked away not that they’re out in the open and known.

Andrew’s experience happened two years ago. Andrew had heard words that he never wished to hear again in his entire life for the last time in Binghamton. Andrew had felt things staring down at a cell phone that he had never let himself feel before.

He looks at Neil safe and sound on the bus after a different fight, a different riot, in Binghamton and it’s hard to be upset. He hadn’t let his Junkie out of his sight the entire night and the moment that he saw security moving in he had grabbed Neil by the hand. His focus had narrowed down at that moment and no amount of Neil insisting that it was fine would stop Andrew’s determined march out of the stadium.

He only felt like he could breathe when he had ushered Neil into the bus and into a seat. He felt his shoulders ease but he didn’t let go of Neil’s hand, he didn’t know if he would until they were back in Palmetto.

The rest of the team filtered out of the stadium quickly and soon enough Wymack was calling out to make sure that everyone was there. “Smith?” Wymack called.

“He’s right here!” a voice calls out and Andrew thinks it’s one of the other Freshmen.

“Let’s get out of here.” Wymack says.

The team gets on the bus and soon enough they’re putting Binghamton in the rearview.

Andrew exhales.

***

He’d heard Michael call out for him and he’d stopped. With all the distraction and the upcoming loading onto the bus he hadn’t felt the need to be exceptionally low presence.

It’d been a mistake as it usually was.

FF looked at the security guard standing in front of him and out the door to the stadium where the Foxes were loading into the bus.

“Will you meet the Master now?” Michael is asking him and FF doesn’t quite get why he’s asking when it’s obvious that FF doesn’t have a choice.

“No.” he says because Michael did ask which means theoretically he could just be misreading the situation.

“You said you’d meet him if the banquet ended.” Michael says.

FF furrows his brow, “I said I’d get up.” he reminds and Michael looks nervous.

“Please?” Michael asks and FF blinks.

“I need to get on the bus.” FF points and the security guard merely steps into his line of sight as if that erased the fact that the bus was there and he was not on it.

“We’ll get you back to where you belong.” Michael promises.

“I belong on the bus that is going back to my campus where I keep all my stuff.” FF says matter of factly.

Michael looks at him utterly bewildered.

“Enough of this.” The guard says and goes to grab him.

FF moves out of the way.

The guard goes to grab him again and FF backs up and out of the way again.

The guard goes to grab him and FF steps back out of his reach again.

This process continues until they are back into the main stadium where the brawl has taken over all of the teams. FF sidesteps the security guard, and he’s near positive this isn’t a real security guard Binghamton really needs to work on their hiring practices. Only this time he side steps out of the way and the guard crashes like an enranged bull into the punch table.

FF’d feel bad about it but there was no way in the world he was going to meet someone named ‘The Master’ when he has spaghetti pants. Absolutely no chance. Whoever it was probably was important enough to deserve dry clean only pants.

“I need to go.” he says to Michael and heads back for the exit, hopeful that maybe just maybe the bus hadn’t left yet. Nicky was pretty drunk though and he knew that the rest of the team would have a singular focus on Captain Neil.

“No, wait!” Michael pleads and FF stops seeing the other player with tears in his eyes. FF stops and unzips his jacket slightly to reach in and grab the handkerchief he had refolded as his pocket square.

“Sorry, I really can’t stay.” he says and offers the handkerchief to Michael, “You can keep that one or hand it to me the next time we play against one another if you remember.” he says. “Tonight isn’t the night for me to talk with your Master.” he says.

Michael looks at him with wide eyes and accepts the handkerchief.

He walks out back into the exiting hallway and there is an older asian man there. He has a cane and he is standing between FF and the door.

He approaches quickly and the man hits his cane against the ground once, “You will join the Ravens.” he says with authority.

Oh great.

“I'd actually rather not.” Smith responds and makes sure to keep a wide berth from the crazy old guy who’s made his way into the Stadium somehow.

He gets out the stadium doors and-

The bus left.

He sighs thinks about the crazy guy right behind him and lets his presence fade into something only Jeremy Knox could see (APPARENTLY).

It’s pretty cold out as he gets as far away from the entrance to the building as possible and reaches into his pocket for his phone. He dials Nicky.

***

“COACH, YOU FORGOT SMITHY. AGAIN.” A drunken shout from the back of the bus startles Wymack as he lets out a loud string of curses before getting into a lane to make a U-turn.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

#Fluent Freshman AU #Michael is just staring at this handkerchief #And staring at the back of a guy who didn't even break stride passing Tetsuji Moriyama #And contemplating a lot of things at the moment #Laila: “Wait so what would you bleed?”#Jean: “What? Blood? I bleed blood?”#Laila: “But you said you're french not Italian. What would the french bleed?”#Jean: “Laila..”#Alvarez: “No Jean you've decided that Italians bleed Marinara. Finish the thought.”#Jean: “I don't know probably one of the mother sauces? Maybe Béchamel??”#Laila: “Jean we need to know your blood type if you're ever really hurt. Are you sure it's not Hollandaise?”#Jean: “How dare you imply that I would bleed Hollandaise.”#AFTG #Jean Moreau #Andreil #Jeremy Knox #Implied Jerejean #AFTG OC #FF - 42

256 notes · View notes

youssefguedira · 6 months ago

Note

V, JoeNicky & Nile

V. An abandoned or empty place.

When Joe pulls the sheet off the couch it kicks up enough dust that it makes Nile sneeze. The couch underneath is old, wooden frame rotting, fabric stained and full of holes where moths have eaten away at it.

“Sorry,” Joe says to Nile when she finally manages to get the sneezing under control. “Didn’t realise it was that bad.” He puts his hands on his hips and looks down at the couch. Nile looks it over.

“There’s no saving that,” she says, wiping at her eyes. She can heal from falling over ten stories, but she can’t get away from allergies.

Joe frowns. “I liked that couch.”

The house is older than anywhere else they’ve brought her, and has been abandoned for long enough that it’s falling apart. But through some trick of posing as their own sons, or something, Joe and Nicky still own it, even if there’s a giant hole in the roof and all the windows are broken. Why they’d decided to come back here, Nile doesn’t know, but it’s a nice enough area, and a good distraction from, well. Everything. Growing back a leg, she’s discovered, is not fun.

From one of the other rooms – she thinks it’s the kitchen, she’s not actually sure where Nicky had wandered to – there’s the sound of something breaking and crashing to the ground, and a muffled curse.

Joe makes a questioning noise in the vague direction of the kitchen. A few moments later, Nicky appears in the doorway, covered in dust. “I am okay,” he says. “But I think we will need to go out to eat tonight.”

“Nothing?”

Nicky shakes his head. “Unless you want to start a fire and go hunt some rabbits.”

Joe grins. “Just like old times, right?”

Nile shakes her head firmly, which makes Nicky smile. She loves them, but there’s no way they’re doing that.

“We can probably clear out enough space in here,” Joe says, gesturing to the floor. “Get the sleeping bags out of the car. Probably have to start a fire anyway, but…”

Nile looks around again while Joe says something to Nicky in Arabic that makes him laugh. The house is falling apart, sure, but it’s structurally stable, and the bones are all there. It could be something. They’ve got time to make it something.

Nicky is the one who goes for pizza in the end – he doesn’t trust Nile and Joe to order it if left to their own devices – while they try to clear out a space in the living room. Eventually, though, after Nile has another sneezing fit, Joe suggests they just take the sleeping bags outside instead, which works out a lot better. He sets about starting a fire with practiced ease while Nile sets out the sleeping bags around it. They’re far enough away from civilisation that she can’t hear cars passing by, which is kind of surreal, and the stars are brighter than she’s ever seen them.

When Nicky gets back, two boxes balanced on one arm and a bottle of wine in the other, he looks over their makeshift camp and laughs. “Just like old times, then?” he asks.

Joe grins. “Except we have pizza.”

“And actual sleeping bags,” Nile says.

“Ah, these modern inventions could never quite match the comfort of a pile of furs,” Joe says wistfully. Nile gives him a look. She’s ninety percent sure that one’s bullshit, but she can never quite tell with him.

Nicky sets down the pizza boxes, and jogs back to the car to grab the pack of plastic wine glasses they’d bought before they got here.

“We should’ve bought marshmallows,” Nile says. “Could have made s’mores.”

“Well, we’ll have to go to the hardware store tomorrow anyway,” Joe points out. “And I think it’ll be a little while before we can actually sleep in there.”

“Tomorrow, then?”

“Tomorrow,” Nicky agrees.

#neon answers #materassassino #neon writes #kaysanova #nile freeman #what's going on here? who knows. they're renovating an old safehouse in the middle of nowhere #why isnt andy there? off on a solo self discovery road trip she calls em sometimes #i like to think its a really old one and when they were deciding where to go joe was getting super nostalgic about it and talking about it #to nicky like habibi.... do you remember that little house we had a few years ago..... we should go back there.....#(local 900 year old man confused 'a few years' for like 150 and didn't realise until they got there)#(and promptly went hm. i think it may need some work)#(nile. who had been expecting an Actual Functional House. just has to sit there for a moment)#they're having fun though. she and joe are gonna have fun painting on the walls. etc #nicky doesn't trust them with pizza because nile (not picky) and joe (LOVES to annoy nicky) will deliberately order the worst looking optio #like. dominoes had a cheeseburger pizza. that's what they're going for #nicky let this happen two (2) times before just going for pizza himself #when andy's there it's even worse she will get margherita but she'll also 'add her own toppings'#like my parents who put chinese takeout on pizza. it's good i'm sorry i know i'm expecting to be banned from italy soon #ANYWAY #thank you for the prompt!! i had fun <3

65 notes · View notes

thedreadvampy · 6 months ago

Text

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

#red said #recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis #like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes #and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not #for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening #i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine #as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital #as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin #ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes #some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am #bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me #like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD #there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife #but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't #tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us #like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well #i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point #anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also #been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them #i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it #most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables #honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk #is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry

65 notes · View notes

cementcornfield · 5 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/cementcornfield/754280825602932736

Hi new to this fandom and was told this is the Joe’marr blog . I’d love to know your favorite moment between these two and how would you describe this dynamic cause it seems like Ja’Marr don’t play

Hi anon, welcome to the fandom and to joe'marr in general! and lol yes i do definitely post about them a lot!

ja'marr does NOT play, i agree! neither of them do about each other i'd say <3. i've described my perception of their dynamic a few times in asks (and! important to remember it's just my perception because we don't actually know any of these men personally) but here goes way too many words about it below the cut 🫡

differences and similarities

to me, they're two good friends who are seemingly very different, but complement each other well, and are actually very similar on the inside! ja'marr is outwardly more extroverted, warmer and friendlier, while joe isn't cold, necessarily, but he seems to take longer to warm up to people in general; he's never friendly just to be friendly ("he'll walk right by you and not smile" per ja'marr), and, despite recent appearances lol, is more of an introvert. (although honestly, ja'marr recently has said he's starting to prefer staying in playing video games and joe has been more out and about! so it seems like they may be rubbing off on each other!) but at their core they're both stubborn, strong, brave and have an edge to them that i think they've recognized in each other since day 1 (all those fights at LSU practices! a love of taunting!)

taking care of each other

they care about each other a tremendous amount and it seems like they are always trying to take care of each other in their own ways. ja'marr with his (maybe???) buying joe clothes and taking him out and wanting him to live his life (he must be thrilled about France Joe), and always defending him in the press (and on twitter lmao). joe always getting in extra throwing sessions with ja'marr (including and most importantly ja'marr's rookie year when he was struggling and they'd stay after practice getting extra work in), always talking up ja'marr's talent and intelligence and work ethic in the press, and he basically guaranteed him a spot on the team during the 2021 draft.

mind reading - good

they've known each other for 6 (SIX!!) years now and according to both of them they "don't need words" to understand each other at this point. which is maybe my FAVORITE thing to analyze about them lmao. because that's definitely obvious on the field. i don't think i really understood how special their on-the-field connection is (despite announcers and coaches and analysts talking about it constantly!) until i finally started understanding how the game actually works (lol i didn't watch football until 2 years ago and started understanding it even later). like, ja'marr's ability to know when to break out of his route, when to improvise when joe needs him to, and joe's ability to know exactly where ja'marr's going to be??? and all of this is happening in SECONDS while people are actively trying to bring them down through any means possible?? that's such an impossible feat and it's one they pull off all the time! and this translates to off the field for them too. one of my favorite clips ever is ja'marr describing how he can tell how joe's feeling just by how he walks in the building, and that joe can do the same for him. "i know him like the back of my hand, he knows me like the back of his" like??? ok boys! that's some soulmate shit actually!

mind reading - bad

BUT on that note, i do think that, ironically, this ability to "read each others' minds" sometimes could lead to miscommunication for them! or at least it could lead to them NOT saying things that maybe they should say out loud. i don't have a lot of concrete examples here (obviously because if they're not saying things to each other they aren't saying them to the press) but there's an interview where ja'marr's talking about his hip injury. and how he "never talked to joe about it" but he "knew in his mind that he'd come back when joe needed him" which ???? what are you talking about ja'marr?? the double mind reading there of a. expecting joe to know that he'll come back when he needs him but also b. expecting himself to know when joe would need him! like! that seems really complicated, you could just, talk to each other? maybe?

ja’marr also said that joe didn’t believe him when he told him that his presence was enough at practice, that joe thought he was joking (i guess it’s not commonplace for ja’marr to come right out and say how important joe is to him and the team! so joe probably wouldn't know what to make of that rare moment of sincerity!)

and i think they aren't talking to each other about contracts (which, fair enough, that's business), but people sure were asking ja'marr about joe's contract anyway (and they're starting to do the same for joe about ja'marr!) and we all remember a lot of ja'marr's comments that came around to bite him lol. and, i have NO proof for this one besides my projections/feelings, but i wonder if joe's worried at all about ja'marr's contract this year. if he's worried that if he doesn't perform, ja'marr won't want to stay. now, ja'marr tells the press (and twitter. and his twitch chat. and his dad.) that he wants to stay with joe, but does joe believe that? has ja'marr ever come out and actually said that to him? or is he expecting joe to just know that?

(oh man i wrote a lot in that section, and i have so little actual evidence, but it's something i love thinking about! i don't want them being too cutesy or perfect tbh. they're flawed! they're men raised in stoic sports culture and honestly i am so sure they suck at communicating. i'm sure they've had misunderstandings. i'm sure they've argued. and that's so important!)

balance

i think another thing i love about their dynamic is that ja'marr is such a good check for joe. if you haven't noticed, joe kind of runs the organization lmao. from day 1 he's been involved in the play calling, drafting, overall culture and philosophy. and that's his right! he is good at all of that! he's The Franchise (worshipped throughout the team, the city, half of the state!) and, in the beginning, i think ja'marr felt that way about joe too. joe led him to a perfect season and a national championship in college and then a super bowl his first year in the league! he himself said, right before the super bowl in 21, "he's like a god to me" which is...just a WILD thing to say about your friend :') like??? the devotion? the loyalty?? okay ja'marr!!

but, then they lose, and ja'marr "coaxes joe out of bed" to go celebrate anyway. he gets to be the one to see joe at his absolute lowest and he's the one to build him back up. and i think that really affected their dynamic from then on, to the point that ja'marr became the only guy to think of joe as an actual human being in the organization. i don't think (until very very recently with zac) that a single person other than ja'marr ever said no to joe (the way joe stayed in that titans game last year despite being hurt, at risk, and losing by so much cemented that for me!) ja'marr was the ONLY ONE to say that joe should sit out as long as he needed to for the calf. the only one not celebrating (in fact, he seemed PISSED) when joe was running around during preseason games despite not being fully healed 😭 the only one saying "come on joe let's go out" instead of just coming to him (and it seems that's finally worked lol) and joe NEEDS that. he needs that desperately! someone who will support him but call him on his shit, someone who sees him as more than just his abilities and wants what's actually best for him!

teasing <3

finally (oh my god this is SO LONG) i really enjoy how playful they are with each other. joe tends to be very Stoic and Serious (not all the time, but it's a tendency) and i think ja'marr is good at bringing him out of that. he's talked about how back at LSU he would joke around with joe and it took him a long time to finally figure out how to make him smile and laugh. and i think that's a skill he's perfected over the years! every mic'ed up between the two of them, we get to hear them tease and mess with each other. "you see that big blue thing over there??" "you couldn't overthrow me and get me in stride?" "my guy you were wide open!" (ja'marr's hands on joe's hips the entire time) "you're looking pretty slow" "be serious" and "he said you underthrew him" "yeah right" and "i ain't gonna lie, you look slow as hell" and "i'll start taking it off for you ja'marr" and "joe swears he's sneaky fast" and "hey man you're so cool!" and on and on and on! i HATE that we've never had a long form interview/podcast with BOTH of them on it because my god i want to know what an actual conversation is like between them. but i think it must be a lot of that. a lot of fond jokes, compliments hidden in teasing; we see them laughing together so often <3 and of course we CAN'T forget the UFC moves they practice on each other :) "we mess around every now and then".

the end

okay i'm stopping myself because oh my god this is so much. anon i'm sorry, you absolutely aren't going to read all of this. but it's been two years and i STILL apparently have so much to say about these two. it's ridiculous. i'm ridiculous. (but so are they!!)

#holy shit i'm insane #this is almost 2000 words about two silly football guys #who i don't actually know and never will #so like - please understand this is all just my projection and perception based on the little evidence we have #and you could have a very different idea of them #and that's okay!#it's all fandom - it's all make believe baby!#but good lord do i think about these two a lot!#it's a problem <3 #haha i went back and put in subheadings so this wasn't just a massive wall of text #maybe that will make this slightly readable lmao #oh and i didn't even start on my favorite moments #tbh i can NOT choose #game ball gifting....jersey wearing...clothes buying saga....i need him to sit back and look pretty....#a lot of options!#maybe i'll make a poll lol #joe'marr #joemarr

49 notes · View notes

vegaseatsass · 6 months ago

Text

Since I'm still thinking about Ming today... Let us compare Three Mings.

1. Ming when he's Scared*

*caught off guard by domesticity/affection and how much he likes and wants it

2. Ming when he's Trying*

*to fix the shit he does when he's scared, but still seem cool and controlled (of highest priority always)

3. Ming when he's Scared*

*deeply fucking terrified, scrambling, on the precipice of a complete break from sense and reason which he shan't recover from for years

And the thing is, which of these Mings do you think stays with Joe in his bones, in his gut. Which of these Mings are the Mings Joe remembers and thinks of as true?

Ming my babygirl, you have so so soooo much more Trying to try.

#from i'm not your boyfriend to you wouldn't want me to be your boyfriend to you can't LIVE without me as your boyfriend #which is the truth ming? like WE know but does joe?#i was specifically thinking about this wrt the jealousy fight #ming who is lying: WHY WOULD I EVER BE JEALOUS OF YOU? DON'T BE SO FULL OF YOURSELF #ming who is honest later: fine. i was jealous. /cutely eats noodles and smiles #joe is so happy in the latter moment #but which of those moments is he going to take with him ming?#which of those moments is going to loom large in his mind about first his self-worth and later his trust in you and your feelings?#ming tells joe of course i'm happy and is telling the truth #but first he lied so many times about not really wanting or needing to be here #you chose me joe! i didn't choose you! this is just whatever to me you're just a stand-in #and those lies hurt and hit so much harder than the pockets of truth #long before the chains came out... ming you really fumbled this bag #my stand in #mingjoe #dear diary

64 notes · View notes

dirtytransmasc · 1 year ago

Text

[mild tw for marital rape/forced 'consent' its only referenced a little, but it feels necessary to mention it]

imagine Alicent only standing up for herself when Aegon is in the picture. Imagine her talking her son to her chambers cause he's fussy and won't go down for bed and was asking for his mum, and she has him tucked close, blissfully asleep, and Viserys calls for her.

she knows she can't refuse, but she tells the servant he had sent to make him aware of Aegon's state. he still demands that she be brought to his chambers and that the babe go back to his nursemaid. she looks down at her baby, who's now woken due to the disturbance, who is staring up at her with soft tired eyes, a little yawn escaping him.

she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to be forced to take her husband, to pleasure him at her own discomfort. she doesn't want to leave her son, to have him sent back to bed where he will remain restless and in the care of someone who is not his mother. she had never want to refuse more than she did in that moment.

she hesitates, her facade falters. Aegon is still looking up at her as tears well up in her eyes. he quirks his head at her, fingers reaching for her cheeks as if to comfort her. with a sudden conviction, she takes him in her arms, rising from the bed, requesting a robe and a blanket. when her servant looks at her in question, she clarifies that she will be taking Aegon with her and does not wish to rouse him in attempts to dress him. they look at her with shock, but don't voice the concern written on their faces.

they bring her Viserys's favorite robe. Alicent recognizes it from her time with Rhaenyra and Aemma. she's worn it before, Viserys has made sure the servants bring it to her every time he requests her. she hates the way it feels against her skin, knowing why he makes her wear it. she wraps aegon in his blanket, soft and royal blue, his hands beginning to play with its golden tassles as she tucks him inside her robe, pressed to her chest with care.

even as fear bites at her heels, anxiety churning her stomach, she walks to Viserys's chamber with her held high. she knows she is only asking for her husband's wrath; she knows she should just obey him, but she just can't. her son will not suffer a sleepless night and horrid following day all because her husband feels the need to use her body once more. he will not suffer at his father's hands tonight, even if she has to endure Viserys's anger for it.

she enters her husband's chambers, finding him in bed, in a white night gown, clearly ready to use her; he was never subtle when he asked for her, not even the first time.

she pauses in the doorway, pulling back the robe slightly, making him aware of Aegon's presence. she watches his face fall, barely muted anger. she holds onto Aegon tighter. part of her fears he may hurt her for this disturbance, but more of her fears he will hurt Aegon on her behalf.

"I told the damned servants to take him," his voice is warped and cruel, just an angry scowl of sorts.

"Aegon is not well, dear husband... I could not leave him," she admits before he can say anything else. she puts her foot forward as a mother, hoping to claim mercy from the man who made her one.

he mutters something in response, not quite loud enough for her to hear. she has a feeling she is grateful for that.

"what was it you needed, my dear?" she tries to sound sweet and kind, in attempts to abate his anger, "I'm sure I could still attend to it."

"you know what I wanted," he yelled. it had been the first time he'd truly raised his voice to her. she couldn't help but gasp, stepping back one step, than two, stopping when Aegon began to fuss, curling around him instead.

"Please Viserys, the baby." she ducks her head down to press her against his whispy white hair. her son his huffing, as if about to cry, and she's sure if she could see his face, his little cheeks would be red and his eyes would be crinkled and wet, his lip puckered. she begins to rock him slightly, still afraid to move.

"your'e dismissed," he grunts, but his tone gives it away. she knows he doesn't mean it, the if she leaves she will be in more trouble. she questions staying, calling a servant to take Aegon and giving him what he wants, but decides against it. he would not come before her son, not now, not ever.

"I'm sorry, my dear, another night, when I do not have Aegon to tend to," she forces some cheer into her tone, "he is still so young, so helpless. he needs his mother. I'm sure you understand?"

"he is not the only one in need of you." he had not lost his anger yet. not even for the sake of his son.

"yes, of course. forgive me. only he is not as understanding as you, my love." that wasn't the truth, Aegon was more kind and understanding at a year old, than viserys was in all of his years. "I will leave now. I am sorry for the disturbance."

she pauses for a moment, waiting for her husbands reaction. when he doesn't lash out at her, she breathes a quiet sigh of relief, feeling as though she has evaded a great beast. her heart calms in her chest, slowing from its fluttering and her stomachs stops its dizzing ache. she questions turning and running, fleeing from his presence before he can change his mind, but knows better.

she hurries to his side, eyeing him all the while, each step calculated, avoiding cracking any eggshells, until she is close enough to kiss his cheek. he allows it, and gives Aegon grace when he reaches out for him, letting him play with his finger a moment, before pulling it away, not even turning away fully before sneering. she takes that as her cue to leave, this one being much more genuine than the last.

"goodnight dear husband." he says nothing. she takes Aegon's little hand, waving it slightly, "say goodnight Aegon."

her son tries to imitate her, though unintelligible, as a toddler would. she continues to smile and coo at him even when his father ignores him, not letting him feel his father's scorn, quickly turning towards the door and back to her own chambers.

the second the door is close she feels herself sag, she would have fallen to the floor right then and there had there not been kingsgaurd watching. instead she holds her head high once more, walking calm and steady, like a queen should.

Aegon settles his forehead against her collar, giving a great yawn against her skin. she smiles at him fondly, kissing his brow, earning a tired little giggle from him. it hits her that he is unaware of the trouble he just saved her from. she feels equal parts relief as she does terror; she hopes he never knows, never understands, but is so so thankful for it none the less.

the second she steps into her chambers she pulls of the robe, setting it aside carefully despite the pain it brings her, respecting the memories it carried. she pulls back the covers before smothering her and her son amongst them. he's quick to curl against her, quite tuckered out after their harrowing adventure, even if he was unaware of its true weight. she herself still wanted to cry, but was similarly too tired to keep her eyes open for another moment. tomorrow, she tells herself, tomorrow will be difficult, but tonight you have your son, tonight you have a chance to rest.

so she does, she holds him close, tracing fingers over the gold threaded patterned of his blanket, feeling the shifting of his chest as he breathes and the tickle of his hair against her neck. all is well in that moment. she drifts to sleep at the thought.

#omage to Aemma's robe that we see alicent wearing in episode 3 (I believe. it was when she was helping bathe viserys)#cause I know he made her wear it cause he's a monster #this is set prior to Helaena's conception. aegon is tiny. and alicent is still naive to the true extents of viserys's abuse.#especially to the fact that despite all of the love she holds for her children and how badly she wishes to always pick them first #his abuse and the stockholm syndrom that follow it will turn her against her children. aegon in particular.#maybe not against. but acrid and foul. her pain overtaking her love. she still tries so hard to protect them though. if you get what I mean #its otto's fault too and they should both die #anyway #I'm just in my feels with these two #we didn't get enough scenes of them together especially when they were both young and I wanted to give alicent a moment were she fought bac #she refused to give him what he wanted. she chose her child over him. she stood up for herself and what she wanted.#she earned that moment #I know she was choking through those “my dears” and “my loves” but she had to for formalities sake #angst in the front fluff in the back #even if the fluff is laced with angst #letting alicent be soft and love her son #I needed it #aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #alicent hightower #anti viserys i targaryen #pro team green #hotd #house of the dragon #I love them your honor

269 notes · View notes

daisybell-on-a-carousel · 4 months ago

Text

"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin

#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh #they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice #ive never seen him with barbara #he had no team #in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again #and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown #in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together #and the other is from a short story and never brought up again #alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay #all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin #is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog #jason todd #i feel so bad for him all the time for forever #ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era #and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened #which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all #doylist vs watsonian moment as they say #dc comics #batman comics #and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder #and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room #he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice #i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough #they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them #wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf #of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little #obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when #there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had #anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after

40 notes · View notes

iguessitsjustme · 5 months ago

Text

Me to Atom when he sat beside the trash can instead of getting in it

#my love mix up th #my love mix up thailand #this must be so confusing for people that didn't see the original #listen i love atom but i need the chaos energy of aoki back in my life #SPOILERS AHEAD IN THE TAGS FOR THE JAPANESE VERSION IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY WATCHED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK #he does not need to stay in the trash #but saying he might as well get in the trash has less of an impact than actually physically crawling into the trash #we need mudmee's anger to match hashimoto's but it won't have the proper justification if atom is just...sad by the trash #aoki threw himself in the trash then told her he was going to the mountains and she had no idea what was going on #she only knew that her friend was in such distress that he physically made himself trash #and mudmee knows atom is sad and she doesn't want him to be but it is not the same #oh how i was so hoping they would properly handle this one moment but alas #they were close but they took out too much of the chaos. too much is gone #it's still cute and wholesome and wonderful #but atom is now a disaster bi and that's kind of the best part of aoki's whole character #and part of why ida fell in love in the first place

42 notes · View notes

to-be-a-dreamer · 1 month ago

Text

A brain dump of thoughts after Agatha All Along ep 6:

Okay but like. The parallels between Agatha and Billy that we get to see now????

Both of their mothers chose to protect other people, complete strangers, over their own children??? Like. We know Wanda made the right choice, sacrificing her family for the greater good, but in her own twisted way did Evanora believe she was doing the same? Did she ever love her daughter? On some deep level, beneath the anger and hatred and warped sense of justice did it hurt her to try to kill her own child? She believed Agatha would bring countless death and destruction, that she was destined to be evil. As warped as her justifications were did she see it as a selfless sacrifice like Wanda's? Does that make it right? Does Billy have as much reason as Agatha to be angry with his mother for choosing to let him and his brother die? Do her truly selfless intentions matter to a child was just desperate to survive? Will he be able to forgive Wanda before that resentment is used against him? Is Agatha just trying to manipulate him by taunting him about Wanda or does she truly see a bit of herself in a child whose mother tried to kill him? (Edited)

Both of them were forced to do something horrible just to survive??? Agatha had to murder her own family. Billy had to steal the body of a boy who had just died. He had to pretend to be the child of these poor unsuspecting parents who just want their son back. Who have no idea their child is dead. The Kaplans will never get to bury William. He has to look them in the eye every single day knowing he's not really their son but what else was he supposed to do? He hates what he's doing to these people but what choice did he have? Could he even control it or did his soul instinctively seek out a new vessel to protect itself? Agatha was just a child who didn't want to die. Billy was just a child who didn't want to die. Were they selfish? Could they control it? Can we truly blame them if they could?

Both of them do terrible things when they feel backed into a corner or overwhelmed or emotional??? Things that they come to regret as soon as the emotions clear??? Billy looked horrified when he finally realized what he had done to Lilia and Jen but he's an intensely powerful and traumatized child who was overcome with grief and anger. Do we really think every single one of Agatha's kills was 100% self-defense? Do we really think she never killed someone in a fit of anger only to regret it after? And maybe Agatha has come to accept and embrace that now but she must have been like Billy when she was young. (Billy is literally the same age Agatha was when she killed her coven and was even younger when he took William's body) She must have been horrified at her power, at the things she did when she felt trapped. She must have bent over backward trying to defend herself and justify her own actions before realizing no one would believe she didn't want to do those things so she might as well embrace her power to its fullest potential ("I'm not that nice").

Both of them are walking the road for someone they lost??? I know Agatha says she's on the road for her power back but that's not how the road works, right? It doesn't give you what you want it gives you what you're missing. I think if Agatha was really able to get anything at all in the world, it wouldn't be her magic. Agatha is looking for Nicky. Billy is looking for Tommy. I don't know if either of them will really get that at the end but they are absolutely in this for the same reason.

I know there are mixed responses to this episode (at least when I first scrolled through the tag) but I for one really enjoyed it. I was really worried they were going to half-ass the explanation for why Billy was being Like This and fuck up one of the only queer Marvel Comics characters but comparing his actions to Agatha's and showing us this kid who is SO MUCH like how Agatha must have been when she was his age is so much fun actually. Like, it would have been really great but pacing-wise we probably couldn't have spent the necessary time going back into Agatha's past and diving deep into her progression from "scared child who does horrible things out of desperation for survival" to "cutthroat witch who is more than eager to hurt and betray others for her own personal gain". But we get to see it happen to Billy over the rest of the season and maybe even multiple MCU projects!!! Or maybe we'll get to see him make different choices. Maybe Agatha will be able to give him the chance no one gave her. Maybe history doesn't have to repeat itself. Maybe Billy's journey will give Agatha the chance to change her own story once and for all.

Idk this is really rambly and maybe my opinion will change as I think about it more but my first reactions are positive. Yeah on a meta level it sucks that the wlw couple is moving so slowly in their own show while the young, conventionally attractive mlm couple got to kiss within their first few minutes of screentime and they probably could have put in the effort to intentionally combat the miserable lesbians trope. But on a story level, I'm personally glad they're not rushing Agatha and Rio's arc. They're definitely going to get their moment but the reason they're so compelling is because of their history and the tragedy between them. We don't have all the details of what really happened between them yet but I don't think it's something you can just kiss and make up about. Billy and Eddie are teenagers with no real baggage between them. Agatha and Rio have possibly centuries of hurt and anger and betrayal to work through Let Them Cook! It'll be that much sweeter and their relationship is one of the CORE overarching plots of the show you don't want them to rush it. (Also I personally am too ace for the "we're gonna make up by having hot sex about it" type of conflict resolution and would have hated if Agatha and Rio were intimate before sorting at least some of their shit out but that's just me ik a lot of people would have enjoyed it and I'm sure it could have been really compelling but I actually cannot stand those kinds of plots most of the time.)

Also just keep in mind that the only other named queer characters we've had in the MCU literally ever are Phastos and Ben in the Eternals and like. Yeah it shouldn't have taken this long for a queer lead but the massive jump??? We went from one character (out of like ten mains) whose partner has minimal personality traits and like five minutes of screen time to a show with two main character on-screen queer romances!!!! In the Marvel Cinematic Universe??? And one of them is a season-long complex and interesting story that is a central plot of the series and not just half-baked fanservice!!! And one is just sweet innocent love between kids who care about each other!!! I do wish wlw stories didn't always have to come with attractive cis gay men but do y'all understand how huge this is for the MCU????? It shouldn't have taken this long and we can definitely criticize the negative tropes the show falls victim to but net positive progress is always something to be happy about. If you're not familiar with the greater MCU and the history of Marvel in general just understand that this is actually insane for them and I'm so excited for the doors that just opened for future queer storylines, but that can only happen if we show Marvel that, yes we do want queer characters being openly intimate on screen. Be happy for Billy, keep being happy for Agatha and Rio during all stages of their story and maybe we'll get to see more of this!!!

#i am literally gnawing at the walls about billy and agatha they're soooooo yes please give me more of this #yes this is agatha's show and she should be the center of it #yes we needed to see billy's backstory for his character to be fully-formed and to do the comics justice #two things can be true at the same time #again it is really frustrating on a meta level that the wlw couple had to get sidelined for an entire episode on their own show #but i also would have been really mad if they'd butchered such an important queer marvel character as billy kaplan #yes it's a very common trope of the wlw characters always suffering and fighting while the mlm characters just get to be happy #and the writers should be called out for it and we should be upset about it because they really should know better by now #yes billy and eddie are a monumental moment for the mcu and we need to celebrate that #because if they only see us angry about the SECOND EVER QUEER MCU COUPLE they'll use it as an excuse to cut queer storylines in the future #if y'all give them an excuse to think the reason you didn't like billy and eddie was because they're gay #and we get another twenty years of queerbaiting in marvel because yall couldn't be happy about baby steps for once i'm going to start bitin #ALSO ALSO last thing i swear but agatha harkness is not queer in the comics they GAVE us a new wlw relationship PLEASE be happy about that #agatha all along #agatha all along spoilers #agatha harkness #billy maximoff #teen agatha all along #mcu

20 notes · View notes