#the menty b got me good

[streets-and-sodium-lights]

your love is a murder

Roman Sionis/Victor Zsasz (Birds of Prey), Rated M, fluff, but it's them so it's unhealthy af. more or less a missing scene from the movie after Roman talks with Mr. Keo.

beta'd by @jowoanofheart

~~~

“Mr. Zsasz,” Roman said, his voice a drunken drawl over the noise of the Black Mask Club. It was almost three in the morning, and Roman had been indulging in his club more than usual tonight. As Victor walked over, Roman grasped at his collar roughly, like he was trying to pull Victor to the ground. “Mr. Zsasz, would you get me a drink?” he asked sweetly. “A martini, the way I like them?” His head lolled to one side as he spoke. He was absolutely wasted.

Victor put a hand on Roman’s shoulder to steady him. “Sure, Boss,” he replied as Roman leaned into the touch. God, he was an affectionate drunk. Victor slowly pulled his hand away and Roman tried to reach out for it, trying to follow it back to his lover. No one was supposed to know, according to Roman, but when he was drunk, it was more than clear what they were to one another. The other people at Roman’s table- a group of three twenty-something girls and a smug-looking man- all diverted their gazes, knowing that this moment was something they weren’t supposed to see.

Victor pulled his hand away and walked across the club to the bar without so much as looking back, but he knew Roman’s eyes were on him. Victor knew damn well that if that fool had another martini, he’d black out, and Roman hated to be seen as weak.

“One vodka martini, dirty, two olives, no lemon twist,” he said to the bartender; some new guy who was under-experienced but pretty enough that Roman hired him anyway. Roman liked pretty things. Often, Victor wondered why in the world Roman kept him; scarred, aging, and jaded, when he had all of them.

He returned to the table with Roman’s favorite drink. It was said that putting two olives in a martini was an omen of bad luck, but that hadn’t served Roman poorly yet. “Here,” he said, holding out the drink. Roman looked up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. He had his arm around one of the women at the table, a beautiful blonde with small, high breasts and a sheer blue dress. When she saw Victor, her smile disappeared and she leaned away from Roman.

“What was that for?” Roman asked, and although his tone was still calm, Victor could feel the man’s anger rising to the surface. 

Victor swallowed tensely. He hated watching Roman when he acted like this, so he did something he didn’t usually do when Roman was this drunk- he brought out the marionette strings. “Seems like she’s scared of you, Boss.”

Roman quickly turned his attention to Victor. “Scared of me?” He grinned and turned back to the blonde, who had now fully recoiled away from him and moved towards another woman at the table, probably a friend who she’d started the night with, entirely unaware of who owned the club she was headed to. “You should be,” Roman said. “All of you should be!” He was yelling now, making a scene. “Do you know who I am? I don’t need cowardly filth like you in my club!” He got up from the booth and stood beside Victor, one arm around him and the other pointing towards the door. “Go! GO!”

The four civilians took little time to disperse before Roman reached for the martini Victor had brought him. Victor knocked over the glass before Roman could reach it, spilling its contents onto the rich, dark wood of the table. 

“What’d you do that for?” Roman asked as if he was personally offended by the act. “You’re dead drunk, Boss,” Victor said. He shifted the weight of Roman’s arm on his shoulders, allowing him to lean on Victor. Sure enough, he did.

“Are you saying I can’t handle my liquor, Mr. Zsasz?” Roman asked with a small, weak hiccup.

“Of course not, Boss,” Victor said quietly. “That was upsetting… how those four betrayed you. Let’s go upstairs, finish this night well.”

Roman considered Victor’s words before he finally nodded. “Right. Good thinking, Mr. Zsasz.”

Victor nodded and adjusted Roman’s arms so that he was leaning most of his weight on Victor as they walked. The club would be fine. They’d left it unattended enough nights now that the workers knew how to manage without Roman’s watchful eyes, not that he had to know that.

Roman more or less stumbled upstairs to the apartment, where Victor led him to the bathroom and sat him on the floor in front of the toilet. It was only a matter of time before Roman’s body realized that it needed to purge itself of the mix of expensive spirits he’d downed. 

“I don’t want to throw up,” Roman said, suddenly distraught. “It’s so gross. I hate gross things, Victor.” There it was, his first name. Roman was his again, not some random blonde’s. A sickly happiness bloomed in Victor’s chest.

“I know,” he said with a sigh. He sat down on the floor with Roman, his back against the cabinet under the marble sink so he could watch him. “What did you have tonight? Just alcohol?”

Roman shrugged cluelessly. 

“It was that Keo jackass, wasn’t it?” Victor took out his folding knife and popped it open and closed, open and closed. “We’ll kill him, slow and painful. We’ll peel his face off.”

Roman looked at him with adoring eyes. “Victor,” he said, the name leaving his lips like a dead man’s last breath. Then he looked back at the toilet and Victor got up to hold the crime lord’s hair back as he threw up. 

“So fucking gross,” Roman choked out. “Fuck.” Then he retched uselessly for a while before he threw up again.

Victor leaned his head against Roman’s back. “Done?” he asked him.

“God, let’s hope so,” Roman groaned. 

Victor nodded and picked Roman up from under his arms like a cat and guided him into the shower, where he got to work on undressing him, starting with his monogrammed gloves. “Feel better?” Victor asked, making quick work of the buttons on the man’s velvet blazer. 

“Not by much,” Roman replied. When Victor’s hands drifted to try and take off Roman’s tank top, he brushed them off and did it himself. He started to bend over to take off his shoes, but stopped himself suddenly. Evidently, he was still nauseous. 

“Don’t,” Victor said as he knelt down to untie his partner’s shoes. He removed them easily, then stripped Roman of the rest of his clothes. Another time, all this would lead to a very different night, but at the moment, he was just here to take care of his drunk partner. “Cold or hot?” Victor asked as he reached for the handle of the shower’s temperature valve. 

Roman reached for Victor’s hand and kissed it. “Hot. Will you join me?”

Victor sighed. Roman was drunk enough that he didn’t care that his designer velvet blazer was on the bathroom floor in a pile. “Come on. You’re wasted.” 

“I just want to be with you,” Roman said, his rarely-seen romantic side emerging once again. “Please, Victor?”

He nodded and stepped out of the shower to pile his clothes next to Roman’s. He said nothing as he got in beside Roman and turned the water on. Everything about Roman was at least slightly sexual, and he usually didn’t mind one bit, but tonight he just stood behind him and helped him clean himself off. There wasn’t much to clean. In Roman’s eyes, though, he was sure they both seemed grimy. Once Roman figured out that Victor was helping him wash off, he gave up trying to do it on his own and stood there, lifeless, and watched as Victor scrubbed at his arms, his hair, his back until he was clean. Even now, he was Roman’s right hand, doing all of the things Roman lost patience for.

Roman traced one of Victor’s newer scars. “Who was this?” he whispered.

“That idiot acid dealer you had me kill last month, the one who was broking deals in your club without your permission.” “It’s brokering,” Roman corrected crossly. “I don’t remember him.” 

Victor slicked Roman’s wet hair back to get it out of his face. “You don’t need to, Boss, that’s my job.” 

Roman leaned his head on Victor’s scarred chest and wrapped his arms around him. Victor was done bathing them both. At this point, they were just standing under the warm water. “What would I do without you?” he asked. 

“You would be the crime lord who owns the finest club in the city, just as you are now,” Victor said, although he knew that probably wouldn’t be the case.

Roman said the truth for them both: “I’d be in Arkham.” Victor was the only one who could calm him down, the only one who could reach him during an episode. They both knew that Roman had little power or sense of self on his own, despite his claims that he owned Zsasz like he was an object. No, Victor was there by choice, but no one outside these walls had to know that.

Victor turned off the water, and Roman crowded even closer to him, shivering in the sudden cold. “Let’s get you to bed,” Victor said. 

It was raining outside the tall glass windows of the apartment, Victor realized as he walked out to get Roman’s robe, buck naked because he couldn’t care less these days. He found Roman’s robe and walked back to the bathroom.

“Someone could see you, you know,” Roman said as he walked back in. He was definitely still drunk, but now he was content and clean, and that had sobered him slightly.

“So what?” Victor replied. “Get dressed, brush your teeth, and I’ll find you something to eat.” As he walked to the kitchen, he spotted a group of young blonde women laughing, stumbling down the street. He tried not to think about that blonde in the sheer dress, but she came to the forefront of his mind all too easily. Roman needed him. Roman should want him, too.

“Thank you, Victor,” Roman said as Victor walked into the bedroom- their bedroom, really, as the one that used to be Victor’s was rarely used these days. Victor set down a tray of charcuterie the chef had prepared earlier that day. “Wine?” Roman suggested.

“Water,” Victor replied, handing him a glass of ice-cold water with a thin slice of lemon in it. He sat down on the bed next to Roman as the man began to pick at his food. “How’s your memory of tonight?” Victor asked.

“Vague, but not absent,” he answered, gesturing to the tray. “You can have some too.”

Victor shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

“No, you’re upset,” Roman replied. “What about, I don’t know. You’re insufferable sometimes.” He plucked a grape off of the tray and fed it to Victor with a careful hand. Victor crunched it obediently, despite his annoyance.

Roman sighed. His hand drifted to Victor’s upper thigh, but Victor shook his head negatively and pushed it away.

“Pity,” Roman replied. “What is it that’s on your mind?” He reached over and brought Victor’s face close to his own and looked him in the eyes before he kissed him. “Hm?” he prodded. He ran his hand down Victor’s chest, but Victor moved it before he got too far.

“The blonde,” Victor said, his face still inches from Roman’s. “The one in the blue dress, the one you were flirting with.”

“I was flirting with a blonde?” Roman asked. “I don’t remember her. All I remember is you walking me upstairs, taking off my blazer, your hands in my hair in the shower,” he murmured, kissing Victor again. “You should kill her tomorrow,” he suggested. “Make it agonizing. Show her the cost of flirting with the Black Mask tonight.” He ran a finger down a scar, old enough to fade, but young enough to be a kill he made at Roman’s command. Years of death, all for him. “Mark your territory, Mr. Zsasz.”

So Victor kissed Roman again and crawled on top of him possessively, pinning Roman’s arms to the sheets. The man looked entirely unthreatened. “What happened to ‘no sex, I’m upset?’” Roman asked, but he was smiling. Victor kicked the tray of fruit and cheeses across the bed and onto the floor, prompting Roman to grin even wider and lean in for another kiss, violent and fast. Roman should’ve cared about the mess, but he was distracted. “Go on,” Roman encouraged. He wrenched his arm out from under Victor’s to trace the edge of his jaw. “I enjoy pretty things, you know that.”

He kissed Roman again as he worked on the loose knot that held his robe closed.

~~~

The next morning, Victor woke to find Roman tangled up in blankets, sleeping with his head on Victor’s shoulder. God, what the world would think if they could see Roman Sionis now, asleep on his subordinate’s shoulder. Victor ran his hand through Roman’s matted hair. He’d be mad about that when he woke up, but for now, he was nothing more than a sleeping lover, with no sign of the Black Mask’s aggression or mania. Victor couldn’t decide which version of Roman he preferred. After some time, the spell broke, and his eyes fluttered open.

“Good morning,” Victor greeted him. “How do you feel?”

“Hungover,” Roman responded, his voice rough from sleep. As he ran his hand through his hair, he paused, shocked. “Shit, I slept on it wet.”

“It was probably more than just you sleeping on it wet,” Victor said.

Roman exhaled frustratedly. “This is unacceptable. I have things to do today. Where’s my robe?”

Victor picked up the red robe off the floor on his side of the bed and tossed it at Roman. “Here. You should go get ready.”

Roman nodded. “I should. And I should fix this fucking headache.”

“You should let me make you a little hangover cure,” Victor suggested. When he was fully sober, Roman was always more receptive to orders when they were phrased as suggestions.

“Yes, do that,” Roman agreed. “I’ll be right back.” Actually, he would be about an hour, maybe more if he decided to put on eyeliner, because he was particular about that. Appropriately, Victor allowed himself a few more minutes in bed while Roman showered yet again and preened his feathers. Victor’s timing was perfect. Just as Roman emerged from the bathroom, he handed him a weak cocktail that would ward off his hangover a bit longer. “You look good, Boss,” he said as he handed it to him.

“I do, don’t I?” Roman agreed. He ran his fingertips across Victor’s short bleached hair and pinched the collar of the bowling shirt he was wearing. “Change your shirt and throw this one away while you’re at it,” he ordered. “This puce color makes you look absolutely pallid.”

Victor nodded and left to pick something he knew Roman would like before he returned, dropping the sickly pink shirt in the kitchen trash on his way back into the living area.

“Well, well, well,” Roman mused as he leaned on the windowsill, his robe slipping down his arm. “Could that be our little Miss Lance? All these years I thought she was just a pretty face and a fine set of lungs.” Roman sighed, calm and happy as if he’d been drugged. For a split second, Victor started to feel jealous, but then Roman turned around to look at him, and all the jealousy left Victor’s body, only an obsessive, all-consuming attraction left. “Oh, Mr. Zsasz,” he breathed, wrapping an arm around Victor affectionately, “I’ve had an amazing idea.”

[welcometogrouchland]

Batman #149 by chip zdarsky is mostly unremarkable, but I'm really fascinated by how it makes a great case for 'good' endings not saving 'bad' stories*. Because there's a lot of interesting concepts in this issue (bruce having to deal with his rapidly aging and decaying clone making him think about his own life, re-establishing a 'nest' so to speak for his family after pushing them away, etc) but bc of the OOC slog that came before it, almost every moment w/ the batfamily comes off as unearned and disingenuous imo.

Like, everything with Damian is the perfect example in this. Because in isolation it's...fine. admittedly it's a missed opportunity to not go deeper into how Damian would feel about a clone of his dad who tried to kill considering Damian's relationships with clones of himself (the heretic rejects and respawn) or with former enemies who wanted him dead but who were manipulated and/or brainwashed (like suren and maya).

Zdarsky doesn't go into any of this but you could maybe excuse it as the issue not being about Damian. However, coupled with the previous bizarre characterizations of Damian in 147 and 148, it ends up not being fine- instead it starts to feel...icky how Damian (who, despite often being drawn and written as white, will never have his connection to the non-white al ghuls forgotten and will always be effected by racism even when not portrayed as a poc) is constantly written as overly violent, uncaring and narrow minded in this run. Coupled w/ trying to recanonize the morrison origin for Damian it's like. OH this is badly written and laden with subtle bigotry, sick**

That's me going into detail on it with Damian but it's applicable to other things in this issue- the way Cass, Steph and Duke have all been ignored or turned into jobbers makes their inclusion in the 'family' here feel hollow instead of satisfying. Bruce proclaiming that Zur was still a part of him and he needs to accept responsibility for his actions (when it means taking in clone son) wrings hollow when just last issue zdarsky was bending over backwards to separate Bruce and Zur bc otherwise the Jason thing would get really awkward. Ends are achieved through means that feel hollow or strange. I'm at my destination but damn why'd the bus have to do all that???

I only really have opinions on this latest arc of zdarskys Batman bc it's the one I've read the closest (bc I'm a hater, masochist and avid follower of even the bad damian storylines) but it's not saying great things.

Bc zdarsky can do one thing good in this book, and it's write Bruce and Tim. And yet this entire story, whether of his own volition or editorial mandate, includes other characters who aren't Bruce and Tim, the fabric starts to unravel in very telling ways.

(p.s, I think pennyworth manor is an interesting idea but I feel like in execution it's just gonna be 'bruce living in a house haunted by the memory of the people he couldn't save' but with a different dead guy this time. Illusion of change and whatnot)

*whether or not the ending is good is up to you ofc, as is your opinion on the proceeding arc! I saw some ppl complain that the ending was too "WFA" for them, which I get even if I dont think it'll literally be the same premise. If anything it's probably a lead into the new tec run. Likewise many ppl who aren't in the weeds of Damian and Jason characterization liked the previous arc! But I have my opinions and rest my case before the bench

**disclaimer, I'm white and portrayals of bigotry in comics are complicated and subjective, but I am basing my point here off what other poc comic fans on socmed have been saying about 149. Also the "sick" is sarcasm incase that wasn't obvious

[disniq]

i havent read all of the comics post urban legends to gotham war with jason, but as far as i remember between them jason didn't really kill anyone? tfz is on my mind (he tried to kill 'bane' but didn't). i suppose he couldve been murdering off screen as well but i also have no idea if that's hinted at

anyway with tmwsl and the beast war stuff having him kill it means:

urban legends -> stops killing

gotham war -> is brainfuckedup by bruce. cant do shit

tmwsl -> joker unbrainfuckedups him, he proceeds to go ham and kill some goons/tries to kill the jokers

beast world -> still killing in larger amounts

so if bruce had left his ass alone would he still be in a holding pattern with the bats? way to fuck it bruce (though im happy. so.)

obviously the doyalist explanation is they probably realized jason was in a bit of a limbo atm and decided to shake it up again. but watsonian is soooo funny to me. good job b

Thank you for bearing with me anon, I'm finally free from work and mostly compos mentis at the moment, so!

My initial instinct when I got this ask was to disagree, because I didn't read Jason's behaviour in the last issue of MWSL as any more or less violent than he was in the earlier issues, I don't think he ever actually killed anybody in that run (though do correct me if I'm wrong on that), and I'm extremely reluctant to take the Beast World characterisation into account because it's a, uh... reductive view of Jason, at best.

But.

BUT!

As I was turning this over in my head, I realised why it was pinging at my brain.

It's because this exact thing *has happened*, back in RHatOs Rebirth.

Pre-rhato 25 my beloathed, Jason had been consistently using less-lethal methods in exchange for Bruce's implicit approval and regular interaction with the batfam. He specifically says this on panel in The Trial of Batwoman, this is a choice he chooses to make against his own beliefs;

Detective Comics #975

This holds until six months later, when Jason shoots Penguin. And then Bruce famously snaps and beats the everloving shit out of him in a brutal and notably one-sided fight.

After which, Jason changes up his outfit, swaps the guns for a crowbar and a katana, and becomes significantly more lethal again.

RHatO (2016) #25, RHatO (2016) #26

And when I thought about it, well. I think you could argue that each of Jason's more lethal spells are proceeded by an altercation with Bruce.

Brothers in Blood, where Jason plays a murderous, knife-wielding Nightwing to annoy Dick, is the first Jason story after the infamous Under the Hood showdown wherein Bruce chooses to cut Jason's throat instead of... doing literally anything else instead.

Batman: Under the Red Hood, Nightwing (1996) #118

And after working relatively civilly with others throughout Countdown, Jason goes full murder gunbats in Battle for the Cowl after Bruce's delightful little "you're broken and you'll never be fixed" hologram speech.

Battle for the Cowl #3 , Battle for the Cowl #1

Now, I absolutely do not want to come across like I'm saying Bruce is responsible for all Jason's more extreme actions at all, because I'm not about that lack of agency shizzle at all. Obviously Jason was already very much down to kill prior to his final confrontation with Bruce in UtRH, and I think he does genuinely believe some people deserve to die.

But I think this pattern of Jason reacting to Bruce's outright and often violent rejections by escalating the very behaviour that has Bruce repeatedly rejecting him is super interesting as a facet of their continuous cycle of abuse.

So regardless of Beast World, I wouldn't be at all surprised if Jason does lilt more lethal for a hot minute before he inevitably makes consessions to get back into Batman's good books.

[yinyuedijun]

good morning everyone after 48 hours of hedonism, I have clarity on my life problems so my menty b hiatus is over and I'm back to writing and posting but I'm not totally sure it'll be at the same frequency as it was before? nevertheless I am gonna work on dual cultivation fic once work slows down 🫡 I also want to say that I love you all very very dearly . thank you for being a source of joy everyday in this lifetime! kissing every one of u on your foreheads. please stop dragging me for my **** **** tho I got like ten messages about it while I was asleep

[thetrashqueeeen]

The thing that’s pissing me off about this Faith Becoming a Doctor storyline is nothing to do with Faith and everything to do with how IT IS NOT THAT EASY! I have looked into training as a doctor and had to give up on it because it is logistically impossible for most working class people and casualty could have made a point here!

Right so first things first, there is no conversion degree for healthcare professionals- they just have to do the same graduate entry medical course as every other degree educated person. This degree is 4 years and only offered by a handful of medical schools in the country so let’s pretend Holby Medical School is one of these universities and just suspend our disbelief- moving on

Before she can even apply she would have to take this test called the GAMSAT which is absolutely ridiculous and now don’t get me wrong I think you should prove that you are academically capable of completing a degree before you start it but the GAMSAT is not doing that. For starters, it’s not a pass or fail, you’re ranked by percentile compared to other people who took it, so you don’t just have to prove you CAN do it, you also have to be better than everyone else who tries. Furthermore, the questions aren’t marked like the exams we took in school; or even uni. The entire paper is marked, and then the amount of marks a question is worth is decided based on how many people got it right. For example, a question 90% of people got right would be worth 1 point, but if that same question was only gotten right by 1% of people, it would be worth 10 points, so there is very little way to intelligently work for a better score. It’s also been proven by research that the correlation between GAMSAT percentile and completion of medical degree, academic attainment and retention by the NHS is not statistically significant. There are 2 sitting a year and you have to do them at the specified time and place, making it very hard for someone working shifts (like Faith) to get that test done. To add insult to injury, it is £250 PER ATTEMPT and you have pay for practice exams. Let’s not even get into how Faith is supposed to study for a test that is 5 hours long and 1 section reading comprehension, 1 section essay questions and then a third section which is UNDERGRADUATE level biology and chemistry and A2 level physics with no practice material all while working full time and being a single mother.

Secondly- the course is not entirely funded by student finance. Each year is 9.5k and only about 60% of this is covered by student finance. The other 40% ish is covered by an NHS bursary- except for the first year. This means you need to come up with about 3.8k (from memory) in tuition fees to sit the first year. Your NHS bursary doesn’t kick in until you pass first year and go into year 2. Faith will be paid more than a ‘regular’ nurse, but 4 grand is not a small sum of money and would be hard for her to pull together.

Finally- this is not a course that is offered part time (if they keep her in this show and pretend that she’s doing it part time or, even worse, as evening classes, I am going to LOSE MY MIND) and it’s very, very hard to have a part time job because of the heavy work load and eventual placement shifts. My fist degree was a BA and I had a job the whole time, but I also had low contact hours and no placements to do. There are no bursaries for living costs that I could find and there is no way you could live off a student finance maint loan, if they even offer you one, especially when you’re supporting 2 kids. Faith would not only need to live somewhere with a university that offered GEM, pay for and do well in the GAMSAT and have 4k to pay tuition her first year, she would also have to be able to stop working for 4 whole years.

This is not something she would do over the course of a few weeks, she would be worrying about funding, about living, about the kids and having a menty b about the GAMSAT. casualty could make a really good point here about how someone who would succeed as a doctor, and has committed her entire working life thus far to the NHS, financially could not afford to retrain. Instead I’m sure they are going to take the ‘night classes’ route and I am, in fact, going to LOSE MY MIND

[anthrofreshtodeath]

Yes- like who’s more romantic or are they the same. I’m curious because on the show they weren’t very romantic but they were very affectionate in various ways with each other and with James family

Ok, got it!

I think that they are both the same level of romantic in different ways.

I agree with you that they weren't portrayed as particularly romantic- the writers and actors tried with Jane, but she just ended up being a waste receptacle for Dean's and Casey's emotional abuse (hmm... I wonder what that says about conventional heterosexual relationships and patriarchy... don't get me started).

But, I would argue that they actually were both very romantic with one another. Here we go: for Jane, she is the classic protector/provider type. She opens doors for Maura, she touches Maura when they encounter crowded or dangerous situations, and she says grandiose things like "I don't know if I'd die for you, but I'd come damn close." In later seasons, sometimes Jane is mean (honestly think this is the product of trauma from AH's divorce/menty b more than an intentional pulling away or writing change), but she provides Maura with a kind of love Maura's never experienced before. She contemplates prison time for Maura (most I'd get is two years, Maura's lookin' at life), she spits at God for Maura (using the confessional and the priest to put God on notice - I will commit murder, I will defy you, for her. I'm premeditating a cardinal sin. Because Alice put her in danger). These things seem to contradict her entire personality, and are the most romantic things she ever did - she chose Maura over her badge and her religion (hot). So, she's not kissy-kissy, take you out to dinner and bring you flowers type of romantic, but she's extremely romantic in the way that counts. For Maura. I think that if she actually got with Maura she'd be affectionate in all those traditional ways, too.

Maura is the other side of that romance coin. She's the steady for Jane's storm, giving Jane a calm love she's never experienced before. Would you like some tea? When Jane's dad is sick, a soft, quiet, why are you talking like this? when Jane denigrates herself for being stuck on a case. She opens herself up and lets Jane fall in with just her words (and physically, too. Remember "you're my nutballs, you're my family?" She literally spreads her arms out wide). She kind of gets stuck in that using-money-to-buy-love stuff with Jane (offering to pay for her lawyer, the Ferrari experience, the couch), but I think the show actually (unintentionally) does a good job of tracing Maura's evolution here. Like when she races to the be the last person Jane sees before she gets in the ambulance after saving Tasha. Or like when she sits with Jane and holds her hand, telling her that the case can wait just a little longer while they spend some quality time - because she knows Jane craves it but will never ask, so she just gives it (hot). Maura's a very reserved person physically, but she's all over Jane (I'd argue because Jane is all over her and it feels so fucking good). Also when she calls Jane to tell her she's got her back? She's a fucking quick learner.

I think this all is what makes it so easy for me to write them as romantic partners - from these schemas you can extrapolate the way they'd physically be with one another (Jane falling into that "I'd be the guy" stereotype she clings to, plus her more dominant, masculine energy, but slowly allowing herself to be vulnerable; Maura open and pliant but ultimately in charge).

Hopefully this makes sense!

[fullmetalscullyy]

it's been A Week

it's truly a tragedy (genuinely a good thing) that i'm not drunk tonight bc of all the weeks, this is the one i deserved to let loose on the most lmao i got audited at work on monday and half way through it i was sure i completely fucked it i couldn't really eat lunch bc of anxiety i had a mini menty b in the toilets and was sure i'd fucked us

but!!!!

today all revealed we got a glowing report aaaaaaaaaaaaaa i didn't fuck it up like i feared 🥴🥴🥴 SO CELEBRATION TIME 🥳

AND BLESS my coworkers were like "nah, you smashed it!" "you were cool as a cucumber you were perfect" and i was :'))))) also lmao really? i must hide my crippling anxiety well bc i was this 🤏 close to tears at multiple points lol fake it to you make it is my game baybeee 😎

so. a good thing i'm not drunk and riddled with anxiety this weekend mayhaps this will save the bestie group chat from 8+ unhinged whatsapp voice notes of me yelling into the void lmaooooo anyway slàinte mhath, enjoy your weekend 🍻

[twinknote]

i stg my therapist needs to be paid more

generally i’ve been having a shit time (my body and brain are both SO dysfunctional, i get overstim to the point of melting down every day because of this evil house, and i’m becoming increasingly hateful towards myself for my symptoms and not being able to spend as much time + energy working towards moving out as i would like, yessiree thought abt killing myself!!!!!)

last night i had Such a menty B bc i feel So broken and incapable of being a functional person with a decent life. today i had therapy at 4 and planned to be there in person, hyperfixated on work until 3:15, ended up getting in the car at 4, nearly tore my seatbelt off when it got stuck and almost backed up into the house and was like Yk what evan. maybe it’s not a good idea to be operating a 2 ton vehicle rn for the sake of Everyone’s safety

went back inside and emailed my therapist asking to have a zoom session. Immediately started crying when they asked me how i’m doing (i Very rarely cry in therapy) and was generally an absolute mess and had No hope of feeling better. by the end of our session i was smiling and laughing and joking with them AND i texted my Good parent who i have been missing intensely but have had a huge mental and emotional block around reaching out to for Months. i am crowning jaxson best therapist ever 11/10 a better therapist does Not exist

[pilotheather]

ok.

the usernames are making my lose it first of all

what the fuck is happening please help me

so this could either be the most cringe one (by my measure) or the best one or completely mid. we'll have to see

althoguh one thing i will say its so fucking funny theres a single episode OF SOCIAL MEDIA in a tv show and the Sheep will be like ZOMGGG!! BLACK MIRRORRRRR. shut up

ruby sunday youre so cuteeeeeeeeeeee

2 long hours of data processing is so real - says the data engineer

hi theres bugs

CHRIST IT LOOKS SO FUCKING BADDD I LOVEEE IT I LVOE YOU UGLY CREATUREEEEEEEE

well i could say this whole thing is heavy hadned but as a chronically online loser whose only form of interaction is through a screen and is incapable of existing in the real world im not allowed to say anything i think unfortunately. best leave the other chronically online assholes to say stuff like that

im sure rtd is being an absolute troll at this point directly pointing it out. come on bro.

OH MY HAZY DAYS <- A VERY GOOD PHRASE

UNMUTE GOTHIC PAULLLLL

oh my goshhh it's ricky september. naur way.

im only half convinced this is the doctor using a Schimmer <- said for no other reason except ive got the 10 saying Schimmerrrrr stuck in my head like an earworm

okay so its not...

why on earth is ricky september like the goat. whys that so funny. itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.

is it seriously alphabetical roder that's so funny

ehrm

NOT THE SENTIENT DOTS HELP ME

OK THATS SORRY THAT BIT IS LAME AS SHIT. LIKE THATS THE LAMEST ONE YOU COULD DO. ok i get it. ok fineee. i mean ok yeah duhhhh of course the beasts were intentional . even if it was jsut something similarly goofy, but at least tying it together- like the social media algorithm was axing them, or this was part of the whole discipline thing she kept mentioning gone wronglikebut i thought it was gonna be something else. the dots just found them annoyinggg COME ON BRO

HELP ME

SHES LIKE FUCK HIMMMM FUCK HIM FFUCK RICKY SEPTEMBERRRRRRR

GIRL

IM ALUGHING I DONT KNOW I DIDNT EXPECT HIS HEAD TO DO THAT and her just giving them both a look- a WODNERFUL MAN YOU LITERALLY J

LINDY YOU'RE INSANE IM LAUGHING SORRY HELP ME CHRIST

there is no way these people are like 17-27 is that a hateful thing to say

HELP ME THISENDING IS BEYODN FUNNY. SORRY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST ENDING. CHRIST. I MEAN YEAH THIS SHIT REAL AS FUCK. BUT OH MY GOD. RUBY JUST HAVING A WEE MENTY B TOO. MY FUCKING GOD. THEYRE ALL GOING TO DIE OUT THERE THATS ... I MEAN FUCKING YEAH. THATS WHAT THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE WOULD DO

LINDY YOU'RE LIKE THE WORST PERSON IVE EVER SEEN ON MY SCREEN

[ickybby]

open to: anyone

plot/connections: lactation + pregnancy stuff cause i do what i want <3 y/m and anali are having a baby. ana has two kids from a previous toxic relationship. this is her first time enjoying a pregnancy with her partner. she's admiring herself in the bathroom mirror of the house bought in anticipation of their family addition(s? idc lmk) when y/m gets a little carried away with the groping.

character: ana is a mother and med school student trying to give her career and family her all. will probably have a menty b before 35. right now she vibing though. good for her.

"—feels like i never got to enjoy looking so sexy pregnant." she's yet to take anything off, even though the shower's running, and ana said she was getting in a few minutes ago. instead, their roaming hands are distracting her. she's more attentive to their reflection in the mirror than she is about their water bill. her hands trail over her round stomach while they grope her tits, already overflowing out of the too-tight bra that fit just a little over a week ago. "fuck," her hips buck from surprise and arousal against the other person's crotch, "mmm, hey. careful, if you keep grabbing me like that i'm going to leak."

[toournextadventure]

No bc I’m like that anom who was having a mental breakdown 💀 I’ll never forget bc how Ridiculous the whole thing was. Like I was in a bathroom hyperventilating in a bathroom trying not to cry and here I get a notification of ebh chapter update and im like “oh shit” and just like calmed down. So bestie you are stopping one Menty-B's one fic update at a time

I promise you I mean this in the nicest way possible, but yall have me dying over here. I'm just picturing someone having an absolute meltdown, and then getting a notification and just being like "oh shit, dead ass? Let's circle back to this later, I gotta read this" like, yall got me dyin

I promise I'm not laughing AT you cause I'll do the same thing, I'll be mid-breakdown and be like "oh shit wait, I got oranges downstairs" and then I'm all good again, so I promise I'm not laughing at you. We all be in the same boat with these Menty-B's

[letsbenditlikebennett]

TIMING: Before Mack's Barbie Party PARTIES: @escudofracturado & @letsbenditlikebennett SUMMARY: Alex goes to the art store to grab a sketch book and doesn't fully realize that the cashier is Milo until after she has a menty b and gets attacked by birds. CONTENT: Domestic abuse

If one could ignore the unnerving new painting on display and the bloodthirsty pencils that never knew when to stop, Periwinkle Paints was a pretty chill place to work. Now that the school year was finished, the store was a bit less hectic since many of the art students had gone elsewhere for the summer. There had been a few on the staff, too, so some of the familiar faces around the store had disappeared, including, to Milo’s disappointment, his fellow cashier Sita, who he had befriended over the past several weeks. At least he always had his discount.

It was a pretty slow day, and he was spending his free time working on his current knitting project– a color block cardigan that he wasn’t very far into. There was a group of noisy teens somewhere further into the store that his manager had gone to keep an eye on, leaving just him up front. He looked up as the bell on the door jingled, movements pausing for a moment as he greeted the newcomer with a smile. …Wait, he knew her, she had been at the party. Alex, the wolf girl. “Oh, hey, welcome! Let me know if you need anything, yeah?”

—

It had been a while since she had sketched or drawn much of anything. Alex had always enjoyed it. When it came to sketching the many supernatural creatures she’d studied and showing her parents she knew what they were, their weaknesses, their strengths— it was the one damn part of her training she was actually good at. At least the practiced skill had stuck with her enough for her to enjoy it as a casual hobby. Not that it felt casual today. Her hands itched to etch every detail into memory, one pencil stroke at a time. 

The cashier who seemed to be about her age, greeted Alex as she entered the art supplies shop. She gave him a friendly smile and waved, “Appreciate it, just looking to pick up a sketchbook and maybe some colored pencils, pretty sure I can find them..” Not that any color or pencil stroke could fully capture the magic she felt down in that pit cave, but damn did she want to try. Maybe even give one of the better sketches to Cass as a gift before the logical part of her brain could think better of it. 

Alex realized a lot of people must have taken advantage of the sale this past weekend, because the aisle was fairly cleaned out. Surely, there’d still be at least a couple of sketchbooks left for her to choose from. Which was the case as she scanned the aisle, but they were all the same color– a grayish yellow that transported her back to another life. Lève-toi, petit. Her father’s voice rang in her head all too clearly and she could practically feel herself being thrusted back into another round of sparring where she got knocked to the ground over and over until the tears threatened to spill over her eyes. Ne pleure pas, bats-toi.

Somewhere in the unwelcome stroll down memory lane, the air in her lungs had seemingly turned to rock, anchoring Alex to the spot she stood in for longer than was seemingly normal for anyone to be looking at sketchbooks. The harsh fluorescent lights only made her feel more exposed and she rushed out the front door only to have something swooping down on her. “What the–,” she swatted at the bird, backing back into the store clutching the cut on her arm from the talon. 

—

“I’ll be here if you need any help,” Milo nodded at the redhead as she went off to find her sketching materials. Picking his needles back up, he knit and purled along, his ball of yarn situated underneath the register. He wished he were any good at sketching, but drawing both of the cartoon and realistic variety had never been his forte. Painting was much more enjoyable for him. The coloring and shading aspects had always been his favorite part of art classes anyway. 

He had finished up a row of stitches and was starting another when Alex came running out of the aisles, looking panicked. Shit, he probably should’ve warned her about the pencils. They had calmed down for a few days, but you never knew when they would start misbehaving again. Standing, Milo was going over to check on her when she pushed through the door, though she had just stepped outside when he heard the familiar sound of bird calls. Oh no. She backed into the store once again, now holding her arm. 

“Shit, are you okay?” he asked, concern evident in his voice as he caught sight of the cut on her arm. 

—

Some combination of the blood flowing from her arm and the memory of the faded yellow door made the air in her lungs feel like lead. Alex found it difficult to gasp in another breath as she remembered her blood dripping on the concrete floor. She could practically feel tically hear her younger self pleading to be let out, for her father to look at her to no avail unless she made the targets. She felt like she was back in the room, begging to be let out and the voice coming from behind her took a moment to register. 

It made the breath seem to anchor in her throat as she tried to call out an answer. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to see her in this panicked state and Alex had half a mind to run right back out the door if the same birds hadn’t seemed to be staring right at her through the window. Connards. She held her arm close to her and forced herself to breathe more slowly. “Uh, yeah,” she answered, still not fully present. She blinked a few times to shake away images of a room she never had to enter again. 

Alex made a conscious effort to not look at her own bleeding arm. Despite being trained on basic first aid and waking up covered in it three mornings a month, blood still made her queasy. Almost lightheaded, though she would never admit that much. She turned to face the cashier and realized she knew the cashier. Fuck. Putain. Merde. Of course the poor guy she dared to eat soap was the one to see her having a meltdown in the middle of a fucking art store. “Shit, sorry,” she shook her head, “Milo, right?” 

Alex gestured with her non-injured arm toward the door. “Uh, birds outside just don’t seem too happy with me is all.” 

—

As had been made apparent in his adventures in the caves of Wicked’s Rest, Milo wasn’t good with blood. It hadn’t bothered him much before, but now… He froze, his throat closing up for a moment. No, no, no. Come on! 

He had been having some bad days recently, and had just wanted a calm one today. Forcing his eyes shut, he took a few deep breaths. You’re okay. You’re in the store. You’re at work. You’re with Alex. Alex is bleeding, but she’s okay. Everything was okay. He opened his eyes, noticing that the aforementioned Alex did not look okay. She was speaking, though. 

“Yeah, Milo.” He sounded distant, preoccupied. It felt like he had been underwater, was struggling to pull his head up entirely, but he forced himself to focus on her. “You’re Alex.” It helped to say it aloud. You’re at work. You’re okay. You’re with Alex. Alex is a customer.  

He looked to where she was pointing; a bird was sitting calmly on the sidewalk. Right, the birds had attacked her.  “Yeah, um– I don’t– They hang around the store for whatever reason, and attack people sometimes. I don’t know what the deal is there, but they always come back.” Since the first incident he had witnessed with the birds, he had wondered if they were a sort of familiar or if there was conjuring involved. That was more– He took another breath.

“Also,” glancing over his shoulder, Milo checked to make sure his manager wasn’t around, but It seemed he hadn’t heard the commotion, wherever he was with the other customers. “I have noticed they will go for shoplifters.” He shook his head. “Narcs.” It was directed at the door with a wrinkle of his nose and the hint of a smile. 

“Sorry, I was a little weird for a second,” he said, figuring it best to just put it out there. “I’m not the best with blood.” Rubbing at the back of his neck, Milo glanced in the general direction of her arm. “We have a first aid kit in the break room,” he offered. 

—

Apparently they had both gotten a little lost for a moment. Between the blood and the flashback, Alex was still in somewhat of a haze as she stood still just past the entryway of the shop. So much, she wanted to be stronger than she felt in that moment and wear a face of composure. This was one of Cass’s friends and she desperately wanted to make a good impression. Something about shoplifters had vaguely stuck out amongst the rest of Milo’s words. Had she even shoplifted? If it weren’t for being shaken up, she’d find it almost humorous getting busted for shoplifting when she hadn’t even— then she felt the charcoal pencil in her pocket. Damn, had it really become that habitual? 

“Ha,” Alex retorted with an uneasy laugh, “I knew birds were just government spies.” At least it was a good joke to fall back on, even if it rang flat and her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. Her arm still remained uncomfortably tucked into her side as she avoided looking at it. As it turned out, neither of them were great with blood. All was well and good for Milo, there was no reason for him to be. But she was supposed to be a ranger and now she was a monster? What kind of monster who woke up covered in the stuff three mornings a month still felt faint at the sight of it? 

“No worries,” she responded, as if she hadn’t spent the entirety of her life worrying, “It’s not exactly the most fun thing to look at— so you’re so good.” First aid kit was probably for the best. She’d slap a bandage on it for now and have Andy clean it properly when she got home. “Would appreciate that first aid kit though,” she smiled, a little easier this time as she settled into the interaction and realized she wasn’t the only one who had been battling some form of nerves. 

“Lead the way,” she said as she followed along. Follow Milo, slap on a band-aid, stop acting like a scared kid. Really, a short check-list. Alex could do this. She released some of the tension and asked, “So what have you been up to since the party? Hopefully not pissing off the birds?” 

—

He laughed, the joke helping to pull him out of his head a bit more. Still, Alex looked dazed and upset, which was valid for someone who had just gotten attacked by a bird and had maybe been attacked by the pencils before that, too. She had tried to run out very quickly, so either something had happened or she was a very unsubtle shoplifter. Milo just hoped she was okay. He couldn’t give less of a shit if the girl was stealing, and it was ridiculous that the manager or owner or whoever the fuck was controlling the birds thought it was okay to actually attack someone over a few fucking art supplies. Maybe it was the work of whoever kept cursing those damn pencils. 

The whole blood issue would be less of a worry if it weren’t such a recent development. While seeing his own blood wasn’t anything to panic over, others’ was a problem now, it seemed. But, whatever. First aid kit. 

“Right, it’s just over here,” he said, leading the way to the break room. Perking up at her questions, Milo laughed. “Thankfully not. Mostly just been working and trying to find a more permanent place to stay,” he shrugged. “Helping out at the bookstore, too, since I’ve been staying with the owner. What about you, though? Manage to get anyone else to eat soap recently?” He asked with a grin. 

Stepping into the small room that functioned as both the locker room and kitchen, he held the door open for the girl. “Might wanna wash it first,” he said, nodding toward the sink before grabbing the bright red box out of the corner and setting it down on a nearby table. 

—

“Well, I hope you find a good place soon,” Alex smiled, “If you need help, I know a guy.” She wasn’t sure Alan really did rentals like that, but hey, he had a lot of people who worked for him. He could probably at least point her friend in the right direction. She did her best to focus on Milo’s words as she made quick work of at least cleaning the scratches and slapping a band aid on them. It was hardly true first aid and she wasn’t sure how deep the cuts actually went, but if she kept looking down at the blood, she was fairly certain she was going to pass out in the employee room of the art store which was not the vibe. 

“Book store,” Alex perked up, “I love a good book store… almost as much as I love a good book. Looks like I may have to visit you at work… again. Maybe skip the getting attacked by birds next time though.” She laughed lightly which was a lot easier now that the wound itself was out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind was her specialty after all. “And no, haven’t gotten anyone else to eat soap,” she gave Milo a playful nudge, “That’s our thing, bestie.” 

It was kind of nice, to think that they had a thing— an inside joke of sorts. Alex found herself hoping that they could make more of those, even if she had made a little bit of an ass of herself during this visit to the art supplies store, but with another party at Mack’s around the corner, the werewolf knew they’d have plenty of time for bonding. 

[agirlbetweentwoseas]

My anxiety is at an all time high and I'm very close to having a menty b again

I had a dream/nightmare last night that involved everyone at work and apparently I did something wrong and they all got really mad at me like furious and they were all talking about me and berating me. And today has felt like exactly that, from the moment I set foot outside. Because I also had a terrible experience on the bus with some guy who yelled at me for going to sit in a seat because there was a woman with a stroller I didn't see but I was obviously going to move. Unfortunately the only seat was next to him and he didn't bother making any room for me so I was on the edge of my seat the entire ride. Then at work, which I already hate and already has killed any joy I've ever possessed, I feel like I'm almost begging to be recognised and acknowledged. I'm asking for help and everyone is shrugging like sis it's your job fuck you. But I'm the problem. It's always me.

I know it was just a manifestation of my little feelings that I take to heart but it feels like there's some truth there. I'm not a narcassist. I do not want to be perceived. But if I am a tiny bit I just want it to be for the good inside me but no-one ever sees me. I might as well not exist.

[tuiyla]

Sorry if this has been asked. There has been a lot of posts about mental ilness and behavioural issues and there have been quite a few good points for blaine and Brittany being on spectrum and I was wondering do you think any other character had mental ilness and behavioural issues? For example Quinn seemed to have depression and baby blues and some other issues likely caused by parents alchaloism and pill popping that was hinted at

Hasn't been but even if it had, no need to apologize Anon! In case anyone asks something that's been covered I just link to it :) or add new thoughts because I always have those lol. Disclaimer that I'm not an expert of any kind on anything psychology related (or otherwise) so these are just fandom thoughts.

I've also read posts about Rachel being on the spectrum but can't find those rn, sorry, and here's a two-parter about Santana and ADHD. I'd say I agree with that though I can't add much to it.

I'd say Quinn for sure had some flavour of post-partum depression that she repressed for a year until her menty b in New York and subsequent skank era. In general she definitely strikes me as someone who struggles with depression. The Fabrays' issues are, whew, a big topic but yeah that probably affected her too.

I think anxiety isn't too much of a stretch for Tina since she was so socially nervous she invented a stutter for herself. Blaine is an anxious little bean too. Again I'm not qualified in any way to diagnose and they're fictional but that's my guess.

I would also consider some kind of depression for Santana but my main thing with her is anger issues, so more on the behavioural side. (There I go reminding myself of that Quinntana post ooops.) That could also just be a manifestation of ADHD and I wouldn't rule out ODD with her, but that's really getting into the science of diagnosing fictional characters. Bottom line is her anger issues definitely are actual Issues that, in my ideal world, she eventually goes to therapy to talk about.

I think that's about as deep as I thought about it. I think the most compelling case is for sure Quinn and depression, most probably post-partum. She never got to really process that. I'm generally not one to actually label characters, I more just analyze and discuss symptoms since that's where our story is but yeah there's a case to be made with lots of Glee chs.

[dustymcloud]

This post found me at a rather serendipitous point this evening. I scheduled in my menty b, and it the part OP mentioned the growing divide between creators and consumers of content. I ave always wanted to be able to contribute something back to tumblr… in part because I think I a very much a consumer, but since has lost is zeal somewhat, tumblr and in Pinterest are providing me with a lot more inspiration,but I digress. Ask culture was and is something that is exclusive to tumblr, and I think perhaps it was a way of growing organic and engaging communities. As mentioned earlier it did away with the dichotomous and hierarchical role within this socially implied relationship you have with another.

For me anytime I got an ask, it was the best feeling ever, (bearing in mind I’ve been on here off for about 10 years now I ever only received less than ten).but that red dot on your dash, instant serotonin. And it occurred to me when pondering ask that ultimately a lot of the reason could be because I never gave them anything to ask about. I was and have very much been a reblogger, and I forget to add tags, and I’m more of a general blog than a niche one. So tomorrow if I sleep, and tonight if I don’t, I’ll put together a list of quick topics I post about, and what I’m up too and stuff.

This all plays into my social ineptitude that’s I’ve been exploring recently in my “therapy” sessions, so perhaps this could be a good start…

You know, an interesting tumblr transformation that's happened gradually, and which I've seen no one talk about: ask-culture has essentially dropped off to nothing.

By which I mean, asks used to be WAY more of the tumblr economy. They used to be more common to send, and receive, and see. They were integral to the collaborative, forum-like behavior of old tumblr communities, not even to speak on the HUGE number of ask-blogs that used to exist to only be interacted with in ask-form.

I'm not saying this in a vying-for-attention way but instead in an observational way: I used to get way way more asks in like 2015, even with a fraction of my follower count. I wonder if it's due to the homogenization of social media sites? There's a lot more of this divide between "content creator" and "consumer" instead of just a bunch of peer blogs who would talk to each other. "Asks" aren't really a thing on twitter, are they? And as I understand it, the closest thing to an "ask" on instagram or tiktok would be a creator screenshotting some comment and responding to it in a new reel or video or whatever those content mediums are. Are asks just too tumblr-specific? Is that aspect of the site culture dying out as more and more people converge to using all their social media sites in the same way?

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Purple sparkle anon I’m still calling you sparkle because 🫶🫶

Sorry for the XL yap about to hit - yeah they were teasing me and there’s this running joke how I’m a lesbian and the person in our group who is lgbt is straight (basically a sexuality swap) but the other person doesn’t care because they’re out and proud and whatever it’s on every group chat I’m in and everything I say is met with teasing or jokes to the point where I can’t even talk about anyone or anything with having the word ‘lesbian’ spammed at me and let’s hope my irls don’t see this ask because I know one of them loves your fics too LOL WHOOPS but it’s also hitting a little too close to home like one of them has an inkling it might be close to the truth and that makes it almost worse for me because they know it’s a sore spot for me and they all just keep jabbing and I don’t want them to know sorry this is a really sad yap but I’m about to have a menty b over here (there’s some British slang for you) and it’s just making me not want to talk to them because I’ve brought it up before how I don’t like it especially in communal groups it’s been going on for months and they keep saying they’re joking but it hurts and it’s making me cry even though it seems childish and I don’t want to seem too sensitive or pushy when they’re just trying to play, they said they’d stop before but they didn’t, and it’s got to the point where people I don’t know think I’m actually a lesbian (I mean, I probably am, but that’s besides the point here because they think it’s a joke) and they don’t do it for a time and then be like ‘oh guys we’re joking’ they keep going and going and backing each other up and if I said something to them about it they’d know I was being sensitive because of it being true yk I just, yeah…tough day

Virtual Clara cuddles made it a little bit better though

I’m sorry I’m gonna call it gopiss girl until the end of time if that offends someone I’m sorry but it’s all I can think of I am gonna watch it because I think Blair is pretty cute

Omg maccies for din dins how exciting

Omg sparkle anon car issues nooooo SAPPHIC SQUAD yes also I noticed you said you were nb I think I referred to you as a woman before once because you said lesbian so if I offended you soz 🫶 I’m pining and yearning for Clara cuddles too join the club honestly the sapphic stars patrolling the internet

I used to want a scent called marshmallow and leather jacket when I was barely a teen and then my mum said no because it makes me ‘smell gay’ wtf does that mean someone gimme a definition on that

I’m a screenwriter (amateur) and I’m so tempted to write a squad of crime fighters called the sapphic squad but if I write anymore gay stuff I will have nothing to use as a portfolio because that’s all I seem to have motivation to write WHOOPS

Omg Aeron perfume era I love it also sparkle when you said Jasmine scented all I could think of was Jasmine from Emmerdale who’s played by the same actress as Clara, Aeron you know who I’m on about LOL

Ooh now I’m torn on this one because I want it to be Clara but I’m a total people pleaser and I don’t want to upset you 🥲 I’d prefer Clara mainly because in my head I planned it to be Clara if at all possible obviously don’t worry if you can’t, but it’s good to know that you want rose stuff because guess who had a big crush on rose when watching seasons 1 and 2 so trust me hun if you want rose prompts your box will be overflowing just say the word (i feel really bad asking for it to be Clara sorry if I’ve like, ruined some kind of writers code or something 😭)

I seem to have two types I have a whole list of fictional women I’ve had crushes on and it’s women with brown hair brown eyes, and blonde hair blue/green eyes idk why nearly every crush can be fit into those two categories it’s weird

UFO anon are you also obsessed with doctor who women, have i created a clan of emoji anons who want doctor who fics by accident

I don’t get the hand thing but I will never turn down more missy content 🫶

Aeron is transmasc trans ftm or being nb but dressing masculine I’m confused

Sparkle I love your advice but one word in whatever font you used is the entire size of my phone screen 🤣

I’ve read through the lesbian master doc but all the subreddits hate it because it was written by a now bisexual identifying person and even they’ve basically denounced it so it’s back to aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sorry if this is tmi but like, I could see myself with a woman up to the point of getting engaged but I know family would want to be at a wedding and/or buying a house or like, the other stuff that you do like I almost want to have a secret girlfriend and be on an island somewhere where I can’t be seen and then when it’s time to be married just magically be a different person, be married to a man and be basically a housewife because idk how people kiss with beards that sounds not nice, idk my standard of like, folding at brown hair brown eyes doesn’t work with men for some reason maybe I just haven’t met the right guy yet

NAH NOT THE MESSAGE I’m terrified to accidentally leave the anon thing unticked I check it so religiously it’s not even funny anymore

I mean this with no offence but isn’t demisexuality just like…nearly everyone would be? Like yes there’s some people who like to go bed hopping or whatever people do nowadays (that makes me sound SO OLD) but like, who would sleep with someone from meeting them genuinely. I blame culture because if I said I wanted to wait a year or two to sleep with someone so I have the emotional security that they truly want me somehow I’d get called a prude 😭 even with fictional characters I have to know their personality before I’d consider them an option maybe this is different to you it’s not that Im not attracted to them but idk I just find all that undressing stuff a bit…icky? Like keep your clothes on fr idk what I am, actually I do I’m a mess there we go

Maybe I’m just bananas as Missy calls it because like it’s normally personality and looks together for me to form a crush but I saw a picture of Clara without knowing her personality or anything and I was like ‘woah’ so that was the first time that happened

But aeron I don’t mean anything I just said to invalidate you if you want to yap some more about thinking about being Demi you go for it dude (edit: and sparkle)

NAH YOU KNOW I SAID ABOUT MY FRINDS TEASING ME AS IM TYPING THIS ONE OF THEM TEXT ME ABOUT IT WITH ANOTHER JOKE i am this close to throwing my phone out THE WINDOW

- ⭐️

Aw I'm so sorry to hear that they're teasing you, I completely understand how that feels :( I'm also really sensitive and I don't like when people make fun of me or tease me even as a joke because I get really defensive and then I seem like the bad guy. Just know that I'm here for you and I think you're amazing regardless of your sexuality or anything like that, and I'd never make fun of you or tease even as a joke 🫶 (also random side note you have irls that also read my fics? How did that happen I'm so curious now)

It doesn't offend me at all don't worry I just think it's funny tbh 😭

It was sooo good, I had two plain double cheeseburgers (I'm really picky) and fries

Idk about that but I think it's meant to be an insult. Of course I don't know your mum personally but I know that it used to be a big thing to call something gay when people really meant stupid so that could be it

I like to put a spritz of perfume on my wrists and then cologne on my jacket because the smells mix together nicely hehe (and you're not wrong because jasmine is so gorgeous honestly)

No no don't worry it's completely fine!! I just wanted to ask first because I know how much you love clara, I don't mind writing for her more I promise 🫶 and you're absolutely free to send in some rose requests if you'd like to 🥰

Transmasc can be either/or depending on the person! For me it means that I was born afab and don't view myself as a girl (I just use transmasc because my actually gender identity is a total mess and it's easier to explain using that one word haha) I prefer masculine/gender neutral terms mostly and use he/they pronouns :]

It almost sounds like you'd be comfortable in a lavender marriage (if you don't know a lavender marriage is when two gay people, one a guy and one a girl marry each other knowing they're both gay as a form of safety or as a way to keep up public appearances. They were very popular in the 1930s and 1940s, in the US at least)

Don't worry you didn't invalidate me or offend me at all, it's all good 😊 I also think I'm demisexual because it falls on the asexual spectrum and usually I genuinely kind of freak out when it comes to sex at all, even if I were dating someone first. So like the prefix demi means half, so demisexual means it's possibly to have sexual attraction but it might not always occur or take place, if that makes sense (like the prefix homo means same, the prefix bi means two, the prefix pan means all, you can kind of see where I'm going with this and the way certain sexualities are named/labeled. I'm a nerd sorry)