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your3fundamentaltruths · 9 months ago

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"Penelope Isn't Owed Colin's Feelings"

Some parts of this fandom have a tendency to elide and otherwise get twisted the following regarding 2x08: (1) why many of those who are unhappy with Colin are unhappy with Colin and (2) why many of those who sympathize with Penelope sympathize with Penelope. And that's only more apparent in the reactions to the season 3 scene released on Valentine's Day.

It's not about thinking Penelope is owed Colin's feelings.

People are unhappy with Colin because of how he expressed that he wasn’t interested in Penelope – both because friends shouldn’t talk about their friends that way in general and because she’s in a more socially precarious position than he is and his seeming to think her less-than only makes her prospects worse. Even if Penelope didn't have feelings for him, it still would have been viewed unfavorably.

Some like to say the latter point about damaging Penelope's prospects isn’t a big deal because Penelope didn’t have prospects before 2x08 so she’s not losing anything when it’s actually a bigger deal for that very reason. Speaking like that about a Daphne/an Edwina/another popular, sought-after girl would be seen as sour grapes or otherwise not reflect badly on the girl, but saying something like that about a wallflower who has no dowry is just pushing her further down and increasing the likelihood that she’ll never have any prospects, particularly when Colin’s just been seen leading her out of a ballroom after being regularly spotted in her company. What’s wrong with her that, despite all that, the notion of courting her is not just unappealing but laughable? the rest of the ton will wonder. And Colin will recognize why this wasn’t great because he’s a fundamentally decent and sensitive person and will likely also recognize that Pen’s confidence is ground to dust at the beginning of the season. Neither of these things will sit right with him. Hence, the “confidence lessons.”

Yes, Colin’s not perfect and he's allowed to make mistakes. He's only human. But this mistake hits Pen (and the audience) harder because he's otherwise been good and kind. And because we know, even if she doesn't in that moment, that he will feel very badly about it because he's a good guy and will hate to have hurt her.

Penelope falls in love with Colin (even if not in the fully-fledged, "see all of you" way that they both will this season) because of the kind of friend he is to her, i.e., his kindness. The fact that she develops these feelings in the course of their friendship and that these feelings sometimes influence the ways she acts doesn't make her some kind of awful predator lying in wait who feels entitled to having her feelings returned as I've seen implied by some. This makes her someone in love with her friend, which is a necessary part of a friends-to-lovers story. Hope ≠ entitlement.

And people sympathize with Pen not because they think she can do no wrong or because they believe she is owed Colin’s feelings but because, even knowing that no one is owed anyone else’s feelings, they see her grappling with unrequited feelings in particularly painful ways. In season 1, they watched her have a front-row seat to the person she loves romancing someone else, mostly in her own home, up to an engagement and near-elopement. At the beginning of season 2, they watched her and Colin talk past each other in the "you do not count" scene in a way that hurt her, even if they know that was not Colin's intent, after the pair of them spent the off-season writing heartfelt letters. They watched her hopes build up all throughout the rest of season 2 until the very moment she overheard him (more on that shortly), even if, again, it would never have been Colin's intent to confuse her or lead her on. Colin and Pen are simply not on the same page.

So people have all this context coming into 2x08. But most of all, they understand how badly it would hurt to hear anyone you care about, let alone someone for whom you have feelings (and doubly so a dear friend for whom you have feelings) say something like that in that tone and laugh, let alone in your own home on the same night you've just lost your best friend.

Relatedly, let’s talk more about why the Featherington ball was a night of such high highs and low lows for Penelope. Up until that point in the season, Colin had shown her such care, including just a little while before and, while for him it is exclusively in the spirt of friendship, it's very much unintended mixed signals, i.e., more talking past one another. The ways Colin expresses his friendly affection for Pen are at odds with what was widely considered appropriate behavior in their time between a man and a woman who are neither related nor romantically involved. In fact, by the standards of Regency England, Colin is taking very significant liberties that are inappropriate between opposite-sex friends of marriageable age who have no intention of becoming more than friends (and even between those who are romantically interested in one another but still unmarried). For example, Portia would have been considered justified in demanding that they marry just after finding them alone together behind a closed door in 2x08 doing nothing else otherwise untoward – and likely would have, had she not been so shaken up by Colin figuring out the gemstone scheme. And, yes, Pen is not pushing back, is meeting him where he is, because she likes it and because she also values their friendship and wants it to mean more – but, in the context of their time, it’s even more understandable that she’d read more into it than someone now. And even someone now might read into some of the things Colin says and does and get confused and then hurt upon learning they're wrong and that their friend only has friendly feelings toward them, particularly in the way Penelope is forced to learn that she's wrong.

Does that mean Penelope's reaction in the new clip is the kindest or fairest? No. But she’s human and she’s hurting. She's a lonely nineteen-year-old girl really struggling to find her place in the world who heard her dear friend express his lack of interest in her in a really disdainful-sounding way inconsistent with both his immediate and long-term private treatment of her. That’s really jarring and she not unreasonably concluded that this happened because he finds her embarrassing. If you were her, might there not be a little voice in the back of your mind wondering whether this is even the first time he’s spoken about her that way when he thought she couldn’t hear him? Still, I expect she’ll also feel badly that she spoke to him the way she did, especially in the face of an earnest apology from Colin about what he said, or she wouldn’t accept the offer of the confidence lessons and it would take longer for them to get to where they are in the “remarkable shade of blue” scene in the second episode. Let's give her space to come to that place. Let's show her a smidge of grace instead of assuming the worst of her and anyone who sympathizes with her.

Lastly, some of the same people who are mad about what Pen said and how she said it in the Valentine's Day clip (1) complain about the way the fandom is too hard on Colin for not saying things exactly right and (2) spent months preemptively raking Pen over the coals for "ghosting" Colin, for holding "never dream of courting Penelope Featherington" over his head for ages, for publishing it in Whistledown to punish him rather than talk to him directly, etc. So let’s give her a little credit for ultimately saying it outright to him, even though it must have been mortifying to do so when she believes she embarrasses him. Did it feel nice to Colin not to receive any replies to his letters? Of course not. It wouldn't feel good for any of us. (Side note: I hate that his family seems to have mostly left him on read, too! Don't get me started on that.) But would you want to reply to someone whom you believe you embarrass and who you believe has been two-faced toward you (i.e., being kind and friendly in private and laughing at you in public)? But to her credit, when confronted, Penelope does say why she's upset.

And no, Penelope does not owe it to Colin to further mortify herself by explaining that her feelings for him made his words last season that much more hurtful. (I’ve seen people criticize her for that, too.) Not sharing every single thought and feeling that crosses her mind does not make her Bad – neither a bad friend nor a bad person. Again, have some empathy and be honest: is there any scenario in which you would you be eager to tell someone you had feelings for them after hearing them laugh at the thought of you being a serious prospect for them? If Penelope does at some point admit her own feelings (and the longevity of said feelings) before she hears a declaration of love from Colin as she does in the books, then she is brave as hell and hats off to her, but not doing so at this stage would not be some dereliction of any friendly duty to Colin, especially not if she forgives him for his words as we know she does.

Actually lastly: not forgetting something entirely doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven someone for it or are trying to punish them for it. It would not only not be Bad but also entirely understandable if Penelope had doubts when first confronted with a proposal from Colin later in the season, especially if it immediately follows the carriage scene. It would not be unreasonable for her to think this arises from a sense of gentlemanly obligation or lust or both, especially when she's familiar with his tendency to want to play the hero and when she has every reason to believe that his engagement to Marina came on the heels of a seduction. Grappling with understandable insecurities, including a fear that she might be inadvertently entrapping him, too, would ≠ Penelope trying to punish Colin for 2x08 or for not having feelings for her from the start if the show goes down that route.

#polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #bridgerton #I love them and I wish people would just allow them BOTH their humanity #and not assume the worst of people for trying to do so

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taevbears · 11 months ago

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To Be Loved - 04

There may be something there that wasn't there before.

⤑ pairing: namjoon x reader (a bit of reader x ot7) ⤑ genre: hybrid au, romance, hurt/comfort ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ word count: 6.7k ⤑ warnings: the boys are still kinda mean and very guarded around the reader, slow burn, very brief mentions of toxic relationships and bullying, mentions of physical abuse, implied violence, Epik High name drop lol, cliffhanger ending ⤑ note: first post of 2024! hope you guys had a great start to the new year. this story is just about wrapping up now, but i'm also ready to move onto new projects that i want to release this year. hope you guys enjoy, and comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated! :)

Chapters 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 (End)

When it rains, your life is at a standstill. Time moves so slowly, so seamlessly, the days start to blur together. The grey skies, the endless rain, the muddy roads, and the thick fog that surrounds the gloomy forest. They are a constant that you can’t escape from.

The old manor, tucked away in the deep forest – far from any traveling paths and roads – appears to be stuck in time. And you feel like you’re stuck with it.

How long has it been since you arrived at the manor? A few days? A week? Two weeks?

With a sigh, you look away from the water gently knocking against your window and muster the courage to get out of bed. Cold air strikes you once you’ve come out of your blanket cocoon, and you try not to shudder as you walk barefoot around your bedroom.

By now, you’ve memorized what parts of the floor creak loudly, and you’re careful to avoid those areas, only crossing them slowly and quietly if necessary. Still, even if you’ve successfully finished your morning routine without a sound, he waits by your door.

“Little human, are you sure you’re not afraid of us?”

You catch your breath, but only for a second. Every morning, the bear hybrid waits in front of your bedroom as you’re waking up with a grumpy but determined look on his face. As if he absolutely refuses to go to bed until you answer his question.

“Good morning,” you start, blinking at him as you calm yourself down. He arches an eyebrow at you. “No, I’m not afraid of you.”

Taehyung holds your gaze, reading your face, looking for any subtle tell that you’re not being honest with him. You steel yourself as best as you can under the intensity of his stare, focusing on one of the moles on his pretty face.

Then, when satisfied, he nods his head. His mouth forms into a straight line, making his cheeks rise a bit in what you think might be a smile. Then, he saunters off down the hallway without another word.

You release the breath you’ve been holding.

The first time Taehyung did this was the morning after Namjoon showed you his private garden in the greenhouse. He scared the shit out of you, leaning against the doorframe as soon as you opened the door, just like when you had first met him. And he seemed to doubt you when you had stuttered out that you, in fact, don’t find him to be terrifying.

“I should get used to this,” you mumble to yourself, closing the door behind you.

Breakfast seems to depend on who is awake to make it. Sometimes, Seokjin is up in the early morning and has already started cooking by the time you and the other hybrids come down the stairs. Sometimes, Yoongi already has it prepared before his nocturnal instincts kick in and makes him want to sleep all day. Sometimes, it’s Hoseok and Jimin in the kitchen together, but one of them dances and entertains the other, riling up contagious giggles and distractions from the task at hand.

“Can I help with anything?” you offer when you see the two together.

Hoseok visibly flinches when he hears your voice, still a bit nervous when you’re around. But at least he doesn’t avoid you anymore. It’s as if he’s accepted that you’re inevitably stuck with each other. At least, until the storm passes.

“No, no, you’re a guest,” Jimin reminds you, flapping his black wing to shoo you away. “Just pull up a chair and relax. We’ll have this ready shortly.”

With that said, the two turn back to their tasks. Jimin tends to the fish he’s frying over a pan and Hoseok diligently cuts some vegetables. No resumed laughter or conversations while you awkwardly linger with uncertainty.

You know they mean well. You know that Namjoon had talked to them about treating you nicely while you’re staying with them. But you’re starting to feel like a burden. Restless. Useless. They don’t let you lift a finger with any of the house chores, even if you want to help out to show your consideration and appreciation.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind,” you try again.

Jimin’s shoulders tense a bit. You think he’s starting to get irritated. He doesn’t look at you as he repeats, “It’s fine. You’re a guest.”

It’s not until after you leave the kitchen when you hear their voices chatting again.

If anyone were to look for you, they’d find you in the old manor’s library.

There, they’d see you uncovering the written secrets and adventures within its vast collections of stories. You spend most of your day there, wrestling with a blanket as you switch from one comfortable position to another on the large sofa, so engulfed with your book that you don’t pay attention to anything else.

Not the way that time fleetingly drifts from morning to the late afternoon.

Not the way the sound of rain and the rumble of thunder begin to lull you to sleep.

Not the pair of glowing eyes that catches you napping mid-story, blanket slipping off you and onto the floor.

The next thing you know, you wake up to find that the book you’ve been reading has been placed on the table, the corner of the page turned to hold your place. The blanket that was partially covering you is now completely pulled over you, snuggly tucking you in beneath its warmth.

Someone was taking care of you while you were asleep. But as you look around, you see no one else in the room.

Sometimes, Jungkook drags you out of the library and brings you into the gaming room instead. There are a variety of board games, puzzles, and video games to play together, and all of them are addictively fun. No doubt, this is easily one of Jungkook’s favorite parts of the manor.

It also happens to be Seokjin’s favorite spot as well.

You see the wolf hybrid sitting straight on the couch, face stoic as he mutters under his breath, thick eyebrows drawn together in concentration as his fingers rapidly fidgets with the buttons and joysticks of the controller. His pointy ears twitch slightly when he hears you and Jungkook come in, but he doesn’t look away from the screen, too focused on what his character is doing.

Jungkook pulls out a puzzle for you two to do together, dumping all the tiny pieces onto the table. The two of you work in relative silence to put it together, but a question keeps lingering in your mind.

“Hey Jungkook, have you been tucking me in when I nap?”

From your peripheral vision, Seokjin’s ear swivels toward you. The movement of his hands still as a red flush starts to color the back of his neck.

“No,” he replies, a bit surprised. “Why?”

You frown a little. If not Jungkook, then who?

“No reason.”

On the rare occasion you’re not in the library or with Jungkook, you find yourself wanting to stretch out your legs and wander around the old manor.

There’s a timeless charm about it all. You imagine the previous owners lived like kings and queens here, throwing extravagant and lavish parties and banquets. An orchestra of music lively plays from the grand ballroom, and an incredible feast is on display with the finest plates and utensils. You imagine the guests dressed in their best suits and ball gowns, a variety of rich colors filling into the manor to dance the night away.

As you explore bits of the manor, you feel a pair of eyes watch you from the shadows. The same pair of resentful, glowing eyes that have been quietly observing you ever since you found yourself here.

You can always tell when he’s nearby. The room gets quieter. You become self-aware of each breath you take, the way your body tenses under the penetrating gaze, of the nervous flutter in your heart as every fiber of your being tells you to run.

And usually, you would. The moment you feel the discomfort crawling beneath your skin, you listen to your instincts and walk right back out of the room you entered.

But today, you face the shadows of the room. The panther hybrid that silently eyes you in the darkness.

You told Taehyung this morning that you weren’t afraid of them, right? And cutting through this room is the fastest way to get to where you want to go.

With a brave face, you lower your gaze from the panther and bow slightly in greeting. “Hello, Yoongi. I’m just passing through.”

In the darkness, the pair of eyes widens a bit. It’s the first time you’ve talked to him since you arrived at the manor. The first time you even acknowledged him.

Had your gaze lingered a little longer, perhaps you would’ve seen it. But you briskly walk across the room to exit, muttering an apology beneath your breath for disturbing him.

By evening, after leisure activities and daily housework around the manor are done, everyone is gathered for dinner. Each night is something a little different: hot stews and soups, rice bowls and stir-fry with vegetables and protein, marinated meat and seafood. There’s always plenty of side dishes as well, and always something to satiate each of the hybrid's cravings for certain food.

For the first few nights, there’s still an awkward tension in the air as you and Jungkook sit with the pack. Everyone's a little quieter, shifting glances with each other in wordless conversations. You feel like the elephant in the room, hard to be unnoticed and yet something no one really wants to address.

Except Namjoon.

Across the table, Namjoon would ask you how your day was, looking at you as if you’re the only person in the room with him. He’d ask about the books you read that day, what your favorite parts are, if you’ve seen the movie adaptation. And one of the hybrids – namely Jimin, Taehyung, or Jungkook – would comment how they didn’t realize there was a book version and ask about the differences from the original.

If you mentioned a game with Jungkook that you played that day, Namjoon would proudly state that he’s quite good at puzzles and riddles, and challenges you to a round next time. And the other hybrids – Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok this time – would roll their eyes and grumble about how he is undefeated.

Even if you tell him that you slept most of the day and did absolutely nothing productive, Namjoon would still smile and tell you that rest is important. That he’s happy you feel comfortable sleeping well in the manor. He’d ask you if you had any good dreams, and listen to them even if it’s just the most mundane thing you could barely remember.

And you can’t help but think about how Kangdae never asks you questions like this.

Kangdae never bothered to ask about your day, how you’ve been, what you’re up to. So much of your relationship with him revolved around what he wants, what his plans are. It didn’t matter how you felt about them, as long as he got his way.

Yet, Namjoon seems to want to know everything about you. Your hobbies, your interests, what you like to do throughout the day, what you dream of.

It’s… different from what you’re used to. But it’s not entirely unwelcome either.

Like Taehyung, Namjoon has a question to ask you. Every night after dinner, as the other hybrids begin to clear away their plates and put their leftovers away, Namjoon comes up to you and inquires, “Would you like to spend the evening with me?”

Shyly, as your heart seems to flutter each time he does, you answer, “Of course.”

Stuck in the manor, and with the ongoing storm still strong, your options are rather limited.

Sometimes, he takes you to his greenhouse again where you can see the slow progress of his little garden. Sometimes, you’d take him up on his challenge and try to beat him in a puzzle or game. Sometimes, it’s a quiet evening where the two of you are reading books side by side, or watching a movie until you end up falling asleep, and you’d wake to find his arm protectively around you, holding you close. Sometimes, the night is full of laughter and chatter as the two of you share a bottle of wine by the fireplace and talk for hours about life, music, art, and whatever comes to mind, and realizing that he’s such an easy person to talk to.

Despite the circumstances, you enjoy hanging out with him. A lot more than you ever thought you would.

There’s something sweet and kind about Namjoon. He’s incredibly smart and humble, his down-to-earth personality helps him see the beauty of life, art, and passion in ways that are almost philosophical. He has very admirable traits that unveils the more you get to know him, yet he still keeps his certain secrets close to his heart about what creature he is and where he goes when he isn’t in the manor. Admittedly, he has many physical traits that you find attractive as well, from the deep dimples on his cheeks whenever he smiles to the bulge of muscles in his arms and chest.

It feels strange and new, a feeling you’ve never felt with anyone before. A feeling that you can’t quite place whenever you feel Namjoon’s pretty eyes on you or when he’d accidentally brush his hand against yours.

While the days seem to move slowly, almost in a standstill, time flies quickly when you’re with Namjoon. Before you know it, hours passed, and he is already escorting you to your room in the east wing.

“Good night, Namjoon,” you tell him once you’re inside the room, leaning against the doorway as you face him.

“Sweet dreams,” he replies, smiling at you in a way that makes his eyes form crescents and the dimples stretch along his cheek with his grin.

There’s a moment that lingers. One that feels like the night has ended too soon, and this is a chance for either of you to say something more. To not let the moment pass.

Just as he’s beginning to walk away, you call out to him. “Namjoon?”

“Yes?”

Would you like to spend the evening with me?

The bold question nearly comes out of your mouth, and you feel your face heat up when you realize what you’re about to ask him. Instead, you merely say, “Thank you. I had a nice time with you.”

His face softens a bit as he tells you, “Me too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Another day rises, gloomy as always. But for once, you don’t let the constant rain damper your spirits.

Perhaps it’s because you’ve been here a little while now. Perhaps it’s also because you have no idea when the rain will let you go. Perhaps it’s because you simply want to change things up from the dark and dreary. But if you’re going to be stuck in a manor with a bunch of hybrids, you might as well make the most of it. Right?

“Good morning, Taehyung,” you greet him the moment you open your bedroom door. He looks taken aback, as if you wouldn’t suspect he’d come to your door like he does every morning. “How’ve you been?”

“Fine.” He blinks at you, still confused. Maybe even a bit suspicious. The sleepiness that’s usually on his face isn’t present this time. “Are you all right?”

“I am,” you reply easily, giving him a polite, friendly smile. You’re about to head down for breakfast when you turn to face the bear hybrid again. “Thanks for always checking on me, by the way.”

Taehyung smiles a little to himself. He’s still a bit guarded around you, just as all the other hybrids. But to both of you, it’s a small start to change. “Sure. No problem.”

In the kitchen, you hear Hoseok and Jimin before you even see them. The two of them are in charge of breakfast again, singing a song they both know and shaking their hips as they stir and cut.

“Need any help?” you offer again, still in a good mood after talking to Taehyung.

Jimin barely glances at you. “We got it. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” you try again. “I can make a decent kimchi fried rice.”

“It’s true,” your number one supporter – Jungkook – pipes up, seemingly summoned by the chance to readily defend your honor and your cooking. “I tried it. It’s so good.”

You smile fondly at the bunny hybrid, and without thinking, you begin to pet his back affectionately. A mistake you instantly regret.

At your touch, Jungkook immediately tenses. His eyes are scared wide as he stares back at you, and you quickly draw your hand back.

Stupid, you scold yourself. His owner was physically abusive. Of course he wouldn’t feel comfortable with you just touching him. “I-I’m so sorry, Jungkook. I didn’t— I should’ve realized—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” he insists, his voice soft. “It feels nice. I’m just… not used to it.”

Hoseok and Jimin are quiet as they watch the exchange between you two. All three hybrids note the guilt and distress on your face, and sense that you genuinely feel bad. Even as Jungkook takes your hands and brings them to his face and chest, trying to cheer you up, claiming that he knows that you won’t ever hurt him.

You’d never hurt any of them.

In fact, in the days that you and Jungkook have been in the manor, it’s clear that the two of you at least care about each other. From the little things like when you ask him how he slept the night before, or when Jungkook shares some of his food with you. To the obvious things like when Jungkook’s eyes would sparkle with fondness whenever he talks about you, or how you’re always looking out for him even when you seem busy reading a book.

Perhaps there’s some truth in Jungkook’s story from the first dinner together. Perhaps you aren’t like the other humans after all.

It makes you rather odd, peculiar to the rest of the hybrids. A beauty, but a funny girl.

Jimin ruffles his feathers a bit, as if he seems a bit confused about something. Then, after a bit of hesitation, he asks, “You said you can cook kimchi fried rice? What else can you make?”

It isn’t long until the kitchen fills with the aromas of your meal. You’ve been here long enough to know what each of them prefer as well, and with the three hybrids helping you finish making breakfast, you can’t help but feel proud of the abundance set on the table before you.

“Enjoy the meal, guys. I’ll see if the others want to join us,” you decide as the three hybrids already take their seats around the table. They nod their heads and express their appreciation, but the hunger in their eyes makes them impatient as they start to fill their plates with food.

By that time, Taehyung is probably fast asleep and you don’t want to bother him. You’re trusting that Jimin or Hoseok would save some food for him later. You also don’t have any idea where Namjoon would be, but you suspect that Seokjin would be in the gaming room like he usually is.

Just as you’re crossing the threshold leading to the gaming room, you feel him.

Eyes watching you from the shadows.

Normally, this is when you run. When your fight-or-flight instincts kick in and you turn back from the room as quickly as you entered. When you’d flee to another room as if he’d chase you out.

This time, you try to address the guarded presence in the room.

“Yoongi?”

There’s no answer. But if you were to see him, you’d see his ear twitch at the sound of his name. The gaze feels more intense, making your skin crawl, but you don’t let it scare you.

“I helped Hoseok and Jimin with breakfast today,” you continue and wait to see if he’d respond back. He doesn’t. Still, you meekly add on, “I wasn’t sure what you like. We saved some for you and the others. If you try it, I hope you like it.”

You take the following silence as your cue to leave, scurrying across to get into the game room. You feel uncertain if engaging in small talk with the leopard hybrid will change his impression of you at all.

Until later on, when you return to the kitchen, you see that his share is missing from their refrigerator. And Taehyung and Seokjin are sitting together eating their shares.

“Jimin told me that you made this,” the bear hybrid says when he sees you. “It’s good, right Seokjin-hyung?”

The wolf hybrid chokes a little in surprise, as if he’s just finding out now that the food he’s eating was made by you. It’s nearly devoured, but Seokjin coolly replies, “It’s not bad.”

You smile a little at this, feeling a bit proud of yourself. “Then, I’ll make something more delicious for you guys next time.”

“It’s nice what you did for everyone,” Namjoon tells you later that day, after dinner and during another evening date with him. He pours you a glass of whiskey, and you smile and take it from him. Congratulations are in order for finally getting the other hybrids to warm up to you.

“It’s the least I could do,” you tell him honestly, taking a sip and letting the liquor burn your throat a little. You grimace a bit, swirling the golden liquid in your glass. “You’ve all been nothing but kind to me.”

Your eyes are fixed on the alcohol, but you can see Namjoon staring at you from your peripheral vision. It’s such a softened look, almost endeared. You try to tell yourself the warmth on your face is from the whiskey and nothing else.

“I hope this means you’ll consider staying after the rain,” he nearly whispers. He doesn’t hide that you’re more than welcomed to. That, for whatever reason, he wants you to stay with him for a long time.

Perhaps a few days ago, you’d easily decline. You didn’t want to burden any of them for overstaying. You didn’t think it was even possible to be amicable with them.

But today proved you wrong. Today felt like a change to something new. Something that just wasn’t there before.

You take another sip of the whiskey and state, “I’ll think about it.”

Staying in the manor has been on your mind lately.

Day by day, it feels like time continues to move too slowly. The rain seems to come and go now, but it’s still too dangerous for you to leave the old manor on the chance that the storm will pick up again soon. Or that you might end up getting lost in the dense woods. Or any other excuse that seems like a bad idea to leave.

So, you stay.

You stay until Taehyung no longer questions if you’re afraid of them every morning.

It’s become a routine at this point.

Every day, the sleepy, handsome face of the bear hybrid is the first thing you see when you open the door to your bedroom. “Good morning, little human. How did you sleep?”

And you smile back at him, genuinely happy to see him. “Morning, Taehyung. I slept fine, thanks for asking.”

“That’s good,” he responds, nodding a bit to himself before he starts to head to his room. You’re not sure how long he waits for you to wake up, or why he still insists on checking on you before he turns in for bed, but you appreciate the gesture nonetheless.

“I hope you sleep well,” you tell him before he goes. And Taehyung just looks back at you and smiles.

You stay until Jimin no longer sees you as a guest in his home.

To your insistence, Jimin starts to see you helping around the manor more. Without anyone asking, he sees that you’d fix snacks for everyone in the afternoon, cutting up fruits or spreading tuna mix on crackers. He sees you dusting around the east corridor on days when it rains, tending to Namjoon’s flowers as they begin to bloom and grow, and folding laundry with Jungkook.

You’re really starting to make yourself at home here.

Jimin preens his black feathers, neatly fixing his wing as you’re sweeping around with a broom and dustpan. He doesn’t think you’re even paying attention to him until he hears you murmur, “They’re so pretty.”

“What is?”

“Your feathers,” you tell him with a shy smile. “They’re a really unique color.”

“Oh.” He feels his chest puff up a bit, swelling with happiness. In the shelter he ran away from, and even the lake where he was born, he was always the odd one out – the ugly duckling of the group. Hearing you compliment him makes his heart stir as he quietly mutters, “Thank you.”

You stay as Hoseok begins to realize you’re not a threat to them.

It takes a while, but slowly, eventually, Hoseok no longer flinches or looks at you with terror when you’re near him. Where he even tries to make small talk with you at the dinner table, or when he’s with another hybrid. Seeing how gentle you are with Jungkook – and these days, to the others – seems to assure him that you’re not an enemy to him or his pack.

At the library, Hoseok sees you and Jungkook together. It isn’t unusual to find you here, but Jungkook must’ve wanted to spend time with you.

In his bunny form, Jungkook falls asleep on your lap. His little body is comfortably stretched out as you absently scratch his head and behind his ears, and then massage his back. He’s practically melting at your touch, whiskers twitching with content.

Jungkook is completely safe with you. Despite his past with his previous owner and the horrors he had to face before he met you, he’s let his guard down with you.

Perhaps that’s why Hoseok finally musters up the courage to approach you. “I saw the movie for this, but I think I like the book better so far.”

You look up at him and smile. “Oh, that’s a good one! I like the book better too.”

He returns your smile, still a bit nervous, but eventually, he sits next to you. Neither of you say a word as you quietly read your books together. But the implication of it all, the wordless comfort of being around each other’s presence, is more than enough.

You stay as Yoongi starts to respond back to you.

Shortly after you and Hoseok spend the afternoon reading together, the leopard hybrid jumps down and reveals himself before you. He regards you with cautious eyes still, and you’re frozen in your spot, not sure what to expect.

Then, as if he’s the nervous one, he breaks eye contact with you. “I didn’t know you listened to Epik High.”

You blink at him, but then remember you’re wearing their merch shirt. “Oh, I do! I went to their concert a couple years ago!”

He looks surprised. “I didn’t take you as the type to listen to hip-hop.”

You smirk a little at his reaction. “Namjoon didn’t tell you? I met him when he was still an underground rapper.”

You stay as Seokjin shows you a different side to him.

On the day when it was so cold that the rain turned into snow, you and Jungkook decided to have a snowball fight in the courtyard. The other hybrids could hear you screaming and laughing from inside the manor as the bunny hybrid chases you around, cackling like a madman as he carries mounds of snow in his hand.

When you see Jimin and Taehyung, you run to them for help, trying to hide behind them. The two look a little unsure of what to do until you peek out from behind Taehyung and hurl a snowball at Jungkook’s shoulder.

Hoseok laughs at the three of you split up with Jimin and Taehyung catching on quick. Yoongi and Namjoon watch by the doorway with amusement as you play with the youngest hybrids.

But as Seokjin watches, his tail is wagging and his pointed ears are perked with interest. His big eyes follow the snowballs being thrown, and his body lunges a bit, as if ready to catch them before he forcibly stops himself.

Hoseok notices and bends down to gather the snow on the ground, forming them into a ball. “Hyung, let’s show these kids how it’s done.”

You’re a bit startled when you come face to face with the wolf hybrid, not expecting him to join the fight. He’s in his wolf form, bigger than any dog you’ve encountered, and much more intimidating had it not been for the playful way Seokjin stretches out his front paws and raises his butt, wagging his tail as he eyes the ball of snow in your hands. When you throw it, Seokjin immediately takes off and bites the snow in midair, ruining your surprise attack.

Jungkook laughs when he sees this. “Wow, Jin-hyung, you’re so mean!”

And then gets hit in the face with a snowball by Hoseok.

You stay because Namjoon asks you to.

An awful flu has you bedridden for a couple weeks after the big snowball fight. Despite how many extra blankets are over your body, you’re still shivering beneath them. You’re coughing and sneezing until your chest and throat aches and you can’t breathe properly through your nose. All you can eat are liquids because solid food makes you nauseous.

Jungkook is so worried about you, he’s standing by your bedside with tears in his eyes, telling you not to die on him.

And you, a blob beneath several blankets – voice hoarse and completely congested, feeling like this illness has you fighting through hell and back – try to assure him as best as you can that you’ll be fine.

Surprisingly, all the hybrids step up to take care of you.

Seokjin cooks you chicken noodle soup, Yoongi brews you ginger tea with honey and lemon, Taehyung leaves plenty of water by your nightstand to keep you hydrated, Hoseok often places a cool, damp washcloth on your burning forehead to reduce your fever, Jungkook makes sure your bed is comfortable by adding on more blankets and pillows from his bed to yours, and Jimin shoos away the other hybrids when they want to check on you so you could rest properly.

At some point, Namjoon must have gone into your room as well.

After dozing off, you open your eyes to see a smerlado flower on your nightstand, resting on top of a book and a note. In Namjoon’s handwriting, he writes that he just finished reading the book and thought you’d like it. And as you flip open the pages, you see sticky notes and tabs of Namjoon’s thoughts and comments as he was reading through it.

Your mood instantly lifts as you read through them, smiling and laughing at some, itching to add your own thoughts into others. You keep hoping to turn the page and see another comment from him, even if it’s just a note that says to remind him about a particular paragraph later since he has more to say than what he could write. And only part-way through the story, you ask Jimin to get you a pen and some paper so you could write Namjoon back.

For a little while, it goes on like this. Little handwritten letters shared between you and Namjoon, especially when it still hurts to talk and you keep sleeping on and off all day. It becomes one of the things you look forward to the most, receiving a letter from him, even more so than the book he pairs with it to keep you entertained while you’re in bed.

The rain has stopped. The snow has stopped. And honestly, once you recover from this flu, you could technically leave the manor and the hybrids behind. Night falls and the moon is so bright. The stars look beautiful without the clouds masking their lights.

“What are you thinking about?” Namjoon quietly asks, visiting you for the evening as he always does. Even when you’re sick in bed, he’s adamant about courting you. He reads your notes, and you watch the dimples on his cheeks form when he comes across something funny or endearing. He brings you tea, flowers, more books, and puzzles, but spends most of his evenings just talking to you. Even as you doze off, he watches over you, comfortable with your presence as you feel his fingers linger by your face and lips.

Tonight, as you look at him, you think he looks handsome under the moonlight. Tall, strong, and the indigo colors of his eyes look magical as his gaze falls on you.

“The storm stopped, but…” you trail off, a wave of emotion hitting you so suddenly. You think about how the hybrids are just starting to warm up to you, how Jungkook is right at home here, how this was your goal from the very start and you can’t imagine parting ways from any of them now.

Namjoon doesn’t need you to finish your sentence. His hand finds yours, warm and big, yet it holds yours so gently. “Then stay. This is your home now, too.”

You decide to stay because you want to.

Six months have passed since you and Jungkook first arrived at the old manor. Dinners have been livelier after the snowball fight. The hybrids have gotten used to you being around, regarding you with warm smiles whenever they see you.

And you feel safe when you’re with them. You feel at home.

On a clear and starry night, after Yoongi casually mentions that the old owners of the manor seemed to have hosted balls and parties long ago, you and the hybrids decide to dress up and throw your own party for fun. Remnants of this are found in the attic, the servant quarters, and even the grand ballroom itself.

It’s in a closet where you find a beautiful ball gown. It feels like it’s been made for you the way it perfectly fits your body, the shade of yellow complimenting your skin tone, and the exquisite details that make the dress sparkle. There’s a giddiness in you as you go all out, fixing your hair and makeup for the first time in ages.

When Jungkook first sees you, his mouth falls open in surprise.

You start to feel a bit self-conscious when he doesn’t say anything. “I look silly, don’t I?”

“No! Not at all!” he quickly assures you with a laugh. “You look beautiful.”

As you wait in the east wing, Jungkook hops off ahead to inform the others that you’re ready. Music begins to play from the ballroom, and you take a deep breath in.

Tonight, you feel nervous, and you’re not entirely sure why. Every night, for the past six months, you’ve spent your evenings after dinner with Namjoon.

This time, it shouldn’t feel any different, except it does.

Careful of the steps, you slowly make your descent down the stairs. Once you’re at the middle landing, that’s when you see him.

Namjoon is also dressed up tonight, but he looks like a prince straight out of a fairytale story. As he steps down the stairs from the west wing to meet you, he stares at you in awe. Then, with a charming smile, he extends his arm toward you and asks, “Shall we?”

You smile back shyly and wrap your arm around his. Then, together, the two of you walk down the rest of the steps that lead to the ballroom.

It’s enchanting, the way the chandeliers glow and sparkle above you. Yoongi is on the piano and Taehyung on the violin. Seokjin and Jungkook are dancing together, giggling and goofing around, and Hoseok and Jimin are sitting together with an open bottle of champagne shared between them.

You feel their gazes on you and Namjoon the moment you two enter. Even Yoongi and Taehyung momentarily stop playing as they look at you.

“Don’t mind them,” Namjoon whispers when he sees that you’re getting a little anxious from the attention. He takes one of your hands in his as his other hand holds your waist. “Just keep your eyes on me.”

Hoseok waves for the music to start again, and a romantic tune fills the ballroom. You and Namjoon start to dance together. It’s a bit clumsy at first. Namjoon winces every time he nearly steps on your feet and mumbles embarrassed apologies. But you smile and assure him that it’s okay, almost feeling like no one else is in the room except you and him.

After a while, Yoongi changes it from live music to songs from his playlist, still keeping the romantic atmosphere as Taehyung and Jimin dance together, and Hoseok stares at the leopard hybrid with eyes begging for a dance as well. You’d think Jungkook would want to cut in to dance with you at one point, but he still seems to be having fun with Seokjin and they copy each other’s silly dance moves.

“I’m going to step out for some fresh air,” you tell Namjoon, and he nods his head, saying he’ll go with you.

While the party continues inside, the two of you enter the balcony where the cold, night air hits your skin and makes you shiver. You feel his hand on the small of your back, rubbing you gently to keep you warm. And it works. You feel the heat on your face as the peaceful, beautiful night surrounds you two.

There’s a serious look in his eyes, as if he’s contemplating something, before he asks you, “Are you happy here? With me?”

“I am,” you reply honestly. You can’t thank Namjoon enough for taking you and Jungkook in that night of the storm, despite almost hurting one of his packmates. You can imagine a life without him and the other hybrids now either.

“Do you ever think about going back?”

“Sometimes,” you admit. You miss your family, and every now and then, you wonder how they’re doing. How much has changed in that small, provincial town since you left. You even think about Kangdae sometimes, though you’re certain he must be with another girl. They must all think you’re long gone by now. “I don’t think I will, though. I like being with you. And the others, of course.”

Namjoon smiles gently. “Then, I’m glad you stayed.”

“Me too.” You mean it, too. Your eyes meet Namjoon’s, and you can’t help but think of how pretty they are. How attractive he is. How you’re so tempted to just move a little closer and just—

“I have a confession to make.”

You feel your heart race. “What is it?”

“I think – I knew – from the moment I met you,” Namjoon begins, his voice soft. The strokes of his thumb on your back feel more intimate as his gaze falls on your lips. “You’re the one. You’re my—”

A commotion interrupts from below.

You hear Seokjin barking and snarling angrily, followed by the deep, rumbling growls from Taehyung and Yoongi. Voices are shouting. People you don’t recognize.

Everything seems to move in slow motion as you and Namjoon look over the balcony to see flashlights waving in the premise of the manor. Some of the hybrids are out there in their animal forms, warning the group of intruders to back away.

“Namjoon,” Hoseok interrupts, coming to the balcony with urgency in his eyes. “It’s the humans. They’re—”

A gunshot fires.

Your blood runs cold as the deadly sound rings in your ear.

And, to your horror, you hear a voice that you do recognize, shouting your name.

“Babe, I know you’re there!” Kangdae yells, looking up at you from where he stands. “Come down here and say hello! Or I’ll shoot your darling pets one by one.”

Thank you for reading ♡ Comments & reviews are greatly appreciated!

Previous | Masterlist | Next

#to be loved #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #hybrid namjoon #hybrid namjoon x reader #hybrid namjoon x you #bts namjoon x reader #bts namjoon x you #hybrid bts #bts fic #bts hybrid fic #bts hybrid au #bts hybrid x reader #bts hybrid x you

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anjumstar · 3 months ago

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anjum's bkdk recs 20

Ten more (complete) sfw bkdk fic recs. If you read any of these and enjoy them, lmk! And, more importantly, let the authors know with a comment! Plus, send me your recs, and maybe they’ll make the next list!

Legend

hyperlinked title by author | word count

Genre warning(s): where relevant Summary/review

💚🧡 = fave

Recs are under the cut, organized by word count, low to high.

61. notebook by delicate cherry, sobashouto (snowandfire) | 2.3k

romance, general A really short and sweet fic that’s kind of the moments just before bkdk start dating. The boys aren’t quite seeing eye-to-eye, Baku isn’t communicating exactly what he’s feeling, but that’s what makes it feel really in character. They’re not great at this, but they’re just starting to try.

62. Hey, I’m Fine by majjale | 3.2k 💚🧡

angst, romance Angst with a happy ending! I didn’t trust this author, though, haha, I really thought I was about to get staked through the heart. (I don’t always read tags…) Lovely characterization, especially for Deku. It’s tender and domestic meets pro hero life. Love that intersection, as it’s basically all I want for bkdk. Pro hero canonverse action with soft domesticity. Perfect.

63. Diversion Tactic by garbage_dono | 7.5k 💚🧡

romance A cute take on UA bkdk getting together! Feels grounded in canon with good characterization. And it’s somehow fresh in its initiating event, with following gay panic from our beloved Bakugou.

64. Not All Heroes Wear Capes by vulcanhighblood | 11k

romance, fake dating, get together Fake dating fic! Bakugou has the brilliant idea to fake date Deku to get paparazzi off Deku’s back. Maybe not brilliant, lol. The fic has good doses of Baku’s brand of immaturity, it feels age appropriate, and Deku surely has a backbone against Baku’s silly scheme.

65. half drunk, happy by froggenbie | 13.2k

warning: drunk (non-explicit) (bkdk not dkbk) sex romance, get together Bkdk are roommates after graduation, and they start having drunk hookups. Then they’re not so drunk. I knew the writing would be quality right at the beginning of this fic. Sometimes you just know. Bkdk have their horrible communication skills but natural chemistry and deep need for each other and it was a great take on a familiar story.

66. Go Get Your Man, Young Bakugou! by red_sneakers | 16.6k

comedy, romance This one is pretty silly. Not quite crack, because I can kind of believe it for these losers XD They need a bit of help and extra guidance to get together, but it’s nice to see the boys being stupid together while falling in love.

67. Voicemail by raeryn | 20.7k

angst warning: MCD If you wanna cry on the train like I did, read this one. I’ll go ahead and tell you, since it’s clear from early on—Deku is dead and Baku isn’t handling it well. The story is his long journey to reaching some level of closure with some help from his friends. Unhappy ending isn’t usually my fave genre, but idk, this one ends nicely, even if the sad doesn’t fully go away.

68. Walls I Didn’t Know I Had by Elisa Jaded | 21.5k

hurt/comfort, romance Post-war, Katsuki wakes up from his injuries to find that Deku isn’t in the shelter with everyone else. Turns out he’s somewhere else, in desperate need of Baku’s support. They find happiness again together, good balance of realistic angst to romance!

69. Healing Pains by lurethegalaxy | 23.2k

romance Pining Bakugou and oblivious Deku is such a delicious flavor. Bakugou having done some level of emotional work on himself—but still being constipated to heck and gone—while Deku just avoids avoids avoids feels so correct to me. I liked living in that take with a fic recent enough that it feels really grounded in what the directly post-war aftermath would have felt like.

70. The Night We Met by majjale | 37.3k

angst, adventure, romance Another painful one. Baku is immortal and Deku keeps dying. AU. Now, you know I hate AUs, (and I had the same issues here I always do, tbh…) but the prose is magnificent. I wish I’d been highlighting as I read. Even if I imagine these as OCs, it’s worth the read because of the writing quality. The brief, cryptic author’s notes add to it. If you’re okay with a pretty heavy dose of angst, please give it a go. (I linked the series, as there are 2 very short sequels)

more recs can be found here 💚🧡

#anjum recs #bkdk #bakudeku #dkbk #dekubaku #bkdkbk #bakudekubaku #dkbkdk #dekubakudeku #ktdk #katsudeku

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astrojulia · 1 year ago

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Navigation: Masterlist✦Ask Rules✦Feedback Tips

Dividers✦Images✦Paid Readings

DISCLAIMER. These general free readings are made in good faith for entertainment purpose. I may have missed a he/she instead of them in the translation.IF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT SOULMATE YOU WANT TO READ SOMETHING ABOUT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE READ THIS PAC

How to pick a pile

The pick a pile order is Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3. When you have different cards to choose from in pile 1,2,3… look at each of those cards. Wait until someone reminds you of a memory. Perhaps a character’s outfit resembles one of your own. It is this pile that has its message. What if they all remind me of something? Go for the one with the strongest memory, one might look like her earring but another might be the favorite candy you got from your grandma when you vacationed at her house. But what if none reminds me of something? Take a deep breath and wait a little longer, without charging yourself or creating worries. Relax, some will awaken some memory in you, I promise!

Pile 1 - My Melody

(Four of Pentacles - Ace of Swords - The Watery)

You've already met your soulmate, and it's that person to whom you've had a strong emotional attachment since the first day you met. (There's an additional message here for many in this context: a soulmate is not necessarily someone with whom you have a romantic/sexual relationship). This person is someone you want to protect and share your new ideas with, as well as talk about your achievements and victories. You may also have fights and arguments with them for seemingly 'no reason,' and as a result, you end up getting hurt a lot and sometimes feel resentful about continuing to communicate with this person. However, soon after, they come back to talk again (to be honest, it's reminiscent of a relationship between brothers). So, yes, you've already found your soulmate, and they are a person who is still in your life.

Pile 2 - Cinnamoroll

(Five of Swords - The Star - The Maze)

You don't know your soulmate, and without a spiritual connection, it will be difficult for you to meet them. Yes, it sounds tragic and hopeless, something you don't want to hear, but for you to meet your soulmate, you need to pray to your god, deity, higher self, or the universe, so that a higher power can help you connect with your soulmate. The path between the two of you is tangled up, as if you really weren't meant to meet. Remember that a soulmate is literally your other half; it is not necessarily the great love of your life. Sometimes, it can be someone like your neighbor. I say this because I know that you came after a love and romance reading, so don't worry, your soulmate is not synonymous with your future spouse. So, I repeat once again, if you want to meet your soulmate, even if they are not your future husband or wife, resort to prayers and spells to seek a hand of spirituality.

Pile 3 - Hello Kitty

(The Well - Nine of Cups - The Sleep)

Your soulmate is someone you are destined to meet, but it will take you a long time to find them. Until you meet, you will develop many qualities such as humility, kindness, and empathy. You will become a much better person and, most likely, much older than you are today when you finally encounter your soulmate. I might even go so far as to say that you will already have had your first white hair by that time (don't worry, I had my first white hair when I was 20). In short, there are still things you need to do before you can meet your soulmate. It's important to deepen your understanding of yourself, create meaningful connections with others, and nurture your spirituality. Strive to be the best version of yourself, not in the typical inspirational coach talk kind of way, but in a way that you know in your heart that you are being true to your values and aspirations. When you do meet your soulmate, you'll recognize that you are already being your best self.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

#astrojulia #astrology #witchblr #astroblr #all about astrology #astro community #astro observations #astrology notes #witch community #pick a pile #pac #free reading #tarot readers of tumblr #tarot reading #soulmate reading #love reading #pick a card #intuitive reading

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befuddledcinnamonroll · 4 months ago

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We Are the Series - final thoughts

There are so many reasons that I like watching series & movies from other countries. It's such a great way to broaden my perspective and to get outside of my bubble. To see the big differences in how people live around the world, as well as the little differences in day to day life. To better understand cultural norms, and storytelling norms, and how my own cultural bias intersects with both.

There's also all the beautiful cultural details, getting to see ceremonies and festivals and holidays. To see the beauty of the landscape. To listen to the language, and start picking up little expressions and to appreciate the nuances.

But along with all of the learning opportunities, I also absolutely love it when I watch something from a different culture, and have that "oooh" moment of recognition. That moment when you realize that regardless of culture, what is being depicted on screen is resonating deeply. Because someone halfway around the world has had an experience in common with you.

Let me tell you about my college friends.

It was pure dumb luck that we all met. An utterly random assortment of chance. But somehow this group of awkward nerds all blundered together within the first few weeks of college. Most of us were introverts. We were from all parts of the U.S. We came from all types of families. We were Agnostics, Christians, and Pagans. Over time we would intersect with other groups, we all had different majors, different casual friends & study buddies, people dated, people broke up, but our core group of friends was together all four years.

We didn't like going to parties much, it was too loud and crowded. We got drunk together, where we felt safe and happy. We'd go to the school dances as a group, and be silly. We'd sing songs (usually badly). We'd dance in the rain. We would sit on the roof of our dorms and read stories to each other. We would end up at the local playground at midnight when the slides & swings would belong only to us. As we got older and started being entrusted with keys to academic buildings, we'd go in late and play, having rolling chair races in the long hallways or playing sardines. We'd tease each other, and sometimes laugh so hard we could barely breathe.

We also were there for the breakups and the burnout. For the roommate conflict, and the family hurt. For the coming outs.

Of course things do change when you graduate, and we all dispersed back to separate parts of the U.S. (one of the disadvantages of living in such a huge-ass country). But we still keep up. We still can come together and have fun. Some of us play games together. Some of us travel together. Some of us still talk every single week, because we are family, and that's been the case for over 25 years.

I had a moment, when watching this show, where I realized that P'New must have had some amazing friends in his life. Because he just made a love letter to them.

And the friends in this show - they're my friends. Not in a one-on-one comparison kind of way, but in a "this is my little group of idiots too" kind of way. The playfulness, the freedom from judgement, the encouragement, the support, the love. The knowing that even if life pulls some of them further apart, that the way they are loving each other unconditionally now will always matter.

There are other things I liked about the show, I've talked about tropes before and how I enjoyed P'New playing with them in a "eff off with this old school BS" kind of way, the romances were fun and cute, but ultimately, this show was 100% about love for friendship to me. About what it means to find your people, to make your family, to choose love in all its forms without holding one kind higher than another. And to appreciate it when you have it, because it is so damn special.

How can I possibly come out of this feeling anything but good?

#we are the series

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aciddaffodil · 8 months ago

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Winter 2024- What I Finished

So as this anime season is coming to an end. Here are the shows I actually kept up with and overall enjoyed immensely.

There will be spoilers so be warned lol

The Unwanted Undead Adventurer

I have enjoyed this series, the way Rentt is so determined to become a mithril-class adventurer even as an undead. The 3D models for the fight scenes move pretty well with the background matching them, especially in episode 9. This series is a slow-burn, even with the story progression, but I appreciate it because we see so much character growth for Rentt and how he interacts with the people and his friends. The music is fairly average for the series, but it does have some good moments especially when Rentt is in thought or making a choice. I loved coming full circle and him regaining his "human" features even though he still is very much a vampire now. Shun Narita, the composer for the series had some standout moments (fight scenes and contemplativeness) of music throughout the season so hats off to him.

The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic

I fell in love with the humor of this series from the get-go and not a single episode is a disappointment. It is so full of life and this past week for episode 11, the line " Now that's the wrong way to use healing magic" was used in a perfect moment. The lead up of Usato's characters growth and seeing all his hard work and "torture" from Commander Rose's training *actually* matter was brilliant. Element Garden has done a great job with the music that just gets your blood pumping. Probably will make a separate post for this series once it's over.

A Sign of Affection

The shoujo everyone is talking about, FOR GOOD REASON. To see the romance between the leads develop was so satisfying and wholesome. The development of the side characters so far is handled well, and at times the flashbacks scenes take over an episode but they are necessary. The art style and the use of lighting are done so well. It was a very cute show and always will love seeing an adult romance.

Solo Leveling

What can I say that hasn't been said already? I started reading the manwha in 2019 and have reread many times since. Hiroyuki Sawano was a great choice and the soundtrack WILL be on loop once it's released fully. Smart pacing choices to have it end with him gaining a job, this week will be a blast of an episode. Wish it had been slotted for 24 episodes... The last two episodes KILLED it, the animation, the music?! I was on cloud nine.

Mr. Villains Day Off

A perfect wholesome background anime, that is just about a Villian who loves pandas on his days off. The episodes where they focus on the Rangers aren't super interesting and makes you question the ethics of the world? It's a very cute show and sometimes, it's just a need in life. Ending was split between resolving the previous episode and the lead up to the Rangers and the Villian's battle.

Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I'm Not the Demon Lord

The Isekai'd into an Otome game genre is SO saturated but somehow I ended up loving this show. Yumielle is so autistic coded and straightforward, no one quite knows how to react to her. Patrick is head over heels for her, not that she ever notices, and they're dynamic is adorable. I have laughed watching this show and the only reincarnation anime that didn't bog me down with guessable plot.

Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable!

I fell so hard for this anime that I binge read the manga...who's art is definitely butchered in the adaption, it's so wholesome but the way episode 11 ends off MY GOD the miscommunication hurts me, and people will definitely riot watching the finale...and then picking up the manga to suffer for 40 chapters...BUT it's worth it. Tsubasa and Fuyuki all the way, they're chemistry is the best in the show as they each influence each other to open up, to be serious about the future and to help themselves grow as people. So sad to see this show go but maybe we'll get another season?

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

This anime has me kicking my feet in joy and makes me miss my long-distance partner so fucking much. When Kurosawa and Adachi kissed? I was whooping in happiness. Adachi has a lot of room to grow with his communication with Kurosawa but pretty sure the final manga cover is a wedding outfit? My poor notes app I use to write my thoughts/observations as I watch seasonal anime is " SO GAY. KISS PLEASE." for several episodes between them. I loved that the end credits was the wedding but I can't wait to read the manga to compare it!

Gushing Over Magical Girls

I'm not one to watch ecchi shows but this, THIS is just such a delight to watch. Utena is such a loveable protagonist, a magical girl loving person who gets turned into a villain and has to "fight" the girls she loves. By fighting its not LMAO. I adore all the characters in this show and how fresh the writing for them is. Its beautifully animated and the finale was so much fun to watch!

Mashle S2 - Divine Visionary Arc

I picked up the first volume at the bookstore halfway through the season to try reading, after Bling-Bang-Bang-Born blew up, and I was not disappointed. Binged Season 1 and caught up in a day. There's just something so satisfying with gag humor and shounen fight scenes. I love everyone (besides for Innocent Zero, fuck that guy) and will for sure be binge reading the manga. The music, as always, is so hype and having rap for the fight scenes is very interesting. The soundtrack for S2 just released yesterday and has some amazing tracks on it.

Shangria-La Frontier

What. An. Amazing. Show. Never thought I'd like a VR Gaming anime as much as I do now, but this was just so vibrant and humorous. Sunraku's tenacity at gaming and taking on challenges, plus my love for rogue/assassin builds from DND, made him such a likeable character. The entire Weathermon fight to be slotted for 4 episodes was just..gorgeous and stunning. The Music?!? God its perfection. The NPC's of Rabitzu... to have characters and just to not be weird was very much appreciated to me. I sincerely wish it had the fandom that other Fall 2023 shows, cough cough Frieren, Undead Unluck and Apothecary Diaries, has because I just want more merch sobs. The cosplans I have for this show? Too many, and its already in production for another 2 cour season for this fall!!

The Apothecary Diaries

What a spectacular show and fabulous 24 episodes. The animation, the music (Satoru Kosaki, Kevin Pinken, Alisa Okehazma), the characters, the backgrounds?! I enjoyed watching the characters interact and loved the humor in the animation. I also just read and caught up with the manga in 2 days...so it's that good and a worthwhile watch and read!

#winter 2024 anime #anime #anime review #the apothecary diaries #shangria la frontier #mashle magic and muscles #gushing over magical girls #cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!#hokkaido gals are super adorable!#villainess level 99 #mr villians day off #solo leveling #a sign of affection #the wrong way to use healing magic #the unwanted undead adventurer

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rocknrollbabe14 · 1 year ago

Text

Stuck In The Middle (Joe x Reader) (Part One)

Rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Warnings: My spin on the enemies-to-lovers trope, cursing, drinking, vomiting, Joe being a little bit arrogant and assholish at times, hate sex (p in v sex, no protection), coercion to have sex (but secretly reader wants it too!), if I forgot anything, let know!!

**Special thanks to @josephs-quinns for making my header!! ❤️**

It seemed like yesterday that your best friend, Melanie had moved to the UK—London specifically for her job. It was an offer she couldn’t refuse. It hurt like hell to see your best friend go, but you tried to understand. Every now and then, you’d go to visit her in London and stay at her “flat” as she called it—she said that’s what they referred to an apartment as. It made you laugh, picking up bits and pieces of their lingo the longer Melanie lived over there. The time difference was one of the biggest hurdles you both had to overcome.

You were still awake while she was asleep and vice-versa. In the beginning, it was exhausting to try and wrap your head around. But as time went on, it got a little easier. You all made time to talk to one another, working around each other’s schedules. It’s like you all never skipped a beat—you always picked up right where you had left off. Both of your lives continued to change even if you all lived on two completely separate continents.

Melanie had found someone—a British man. All you really knew was his name was Wesley and he was a really nice guy. You had met him a few times along with his annoying friend, Joseph. Wesley was always very nice and inviting, making sure to make you feel welcome and included. Sometimes, you felt like the third wheel. It was like watching a sappy Hallmark movie—hearing them laugh and giggle, going as far as to even rub noses together. It was so cute that it was nauseating.

You’d order drinks, downing them quickly to try and get drunk and forget the entire thing. They told you how lonely you looked as if you needed reminding. You scoffed lightly laughing and they smiled at one another before telling you they had a solution. Their solution? Inviting Wesley’s friend Joseph along. You were told you’d love him and you both would hit it off, no problem. The idea was nice at first, but your delusional mind believed that may really work out.

But your delusion was quickly shot down. The first time time you met Joseph, he came off as a pompous asshole who obviously thought a lot of himself. Even telling Wesley about all the girls who were in his dms. Not a great way to start a conversation. He appeared to be glued to his cellphone, barely making any conversation with you when you asked him questions specifically about his acting career and how it had taken off. He seemed bored as you tried to make a small conversation.

He would look off, seeming to eye the girls in the bars or restaurants where you all ended up with Wesley and Melanie. It was hard to talk to someone who seemed like they cared less about you or getting to know you. Wesley would apologize for his behavior if he went to order a drink or went off to the bathroom, saying he had just been overwhelmed since becoming famous. You’d just nod with a small smile, pretending like you believed him.

You’d count the hours or minutes until the night would end, returning to Melanie’s apartment. When asking you how you liked Joe, you lied. You hated to lie to your best friend, but she and Wesley acted like you all would just have some fairytale romance and that wasn’t going to be the case. Melanie smiled at your response, telling you she felt like you and Joe hit it off. Was she blind? Where the hell had she been? Or was she too busy in her little love-drunk bubble to realize?

Either way, you were not excited to see him again and honestly dreaded it. You’d seen him a few times after this but did your best to just tolerate him for Melanie.

“So……”, Melanie began, the smile evident in her voice while on the phone.

“So what?”, you smirked back, lying down on your bed.

“Um, you wanna come to London and see me? Wes and I have some really exciting news.”

You sat back up abruptly, your heart dropping down into your stomach. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

You heard Melanie laugh on the other end of the phone. “No—no. But it’s great news and I’d love to tell you and show you in person.”

“Um—okay.”, you began. “When do you want me to fly in?”

“Monday?”

You blew air, thinking about taking more PTO off from work, but you wanted to see Melanie.

“Yeah—okay. Um, question?”

Melanie giggled. “Sure, what is it?”

“Joe’s not gonna be there, is he?”

There was genuine concern in your voice, evident you wanted to avoid him at all costs if you could. He was not your favorite person and that was clear.

“At some point—but Wes and I can pick you up from the airport—just us. I don’t get what you have against Joe. He’s really nice once you get to know him.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Was she talking about the same Joe that you were? Because you didn’t think so.

A deep exhale escaped your lips as you rubbed your furrowed brows. “He thinks he’s God’s gift to women.”

Melanie laughed. “Well, he was GQ’s man of the year.”

“Melanie.”, you deadpanned before groaning.

She laughed. “Well, just saying. You know, he still isn’t seriously dating anyone.”

“And I care why?”

There was slight venom in your voice as you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. To be honest, you couldn't care less who Joe was dating and what kind of girls he was dating. You knew you didn’t match his type. He had been seen with a couple of women, the model kind. You didn’t fit that mold. And you were okay with that.

“Maybe—just maybe you all will hit it off.”

“Doubt it.”

“You never know.”, Melanie sing-songed.

“Promise me it’ll be just you and Wes at the airport, please?”

“It will be, Y/Nickname. I promise, okay?”

Her answer satisfied you, and you hung up. Laying in bed, all you could think about was being forced to see Joe. It was going to be daunting, but whatever Melanie’s news was, you wanted to know and had to be there for her. She was your best friend, after all. You called your supervisor asking for time off and thankfully she didn’t seem to have an issue with it. You apologized for it being such short notice.

The weekend passed and all you felt like you accomplished was packing clothes. Your flight left early at five thirty tomorrow morning and the flight was a long one to London. Laying in bed, you decided to scroll on your phone. Instantly, his face popped up. You groaned, throwing your phone off to the side. Could you not have one last night of peace? Everywhere you looked, Joe seemed to pop up. You knew he was famous and all, but it was becoming really annoying.

Your phone dinged, causing you to pick it up again.

-Can’t wait to see you!! X

Melanie.

-Same here! Text you when I board the plane. :)

Setting your alarm, you closed your eyes and attempted to go to sleep. It felt like you barely closed your eyes when they shot open, hearing the alarm go off. You groaned, reaching for your phone on charge and unplugging it before shutting off your alarm. You blew air as you sat up and grabbed your robe, heading off to the bathroom to start getting ready. It was four in the morning. You fixed your hair quickly, put on some makeup, and got dressed in record time.

Grabbing your suitcase, you made your way downstairs and loaded it in your car. You closed your trunk, releasing a sigh. Nothing to do now but prepare yourself. Once you arrived at the airport, you texted Melanie that you were getting ready to board the plane. Here went nothing. What craziness would find you on this trip? Would you finally go off on Joe? Would you be able to hold your tongue? It was all a mystery. It all depended on what kind of news Melanie and Wes had to share.

The flight was long and exhausting. Your hips hurt from sitting in the seat for so long. When it was announced that you all were finally going to land, you couldn’t have been happier. The process still seemed to take forever as you waited for your luggage in baggage claim. Yours finally showed up, grabbing it and finally feeling excited to go see Melanie and Wesley. Your eyes panned the crowd of people, finally noticing Melanie who was waving widely with a smile on her face. Wesley was waving lightly beside her as you rushed over to them both.

“Oh my God, I’m so happy to see you.”, you smiled as you and Melanie embraced one another.

“Same here. Look, Y/N, there’s something—”

“Wesley, you look so good.”

He chuckled as you all shared a hug.

“Welcome to London.”, Wesley laughed as he shared a nervous look with Melanie.

“Y/N.”, Melanie persisted.

“Yeah?”, you smiled easily but your heart dropped into your stomach as he came into view.

“Is she here yet? She’s taking forever.”, Joe didn’t look up from his phone, making his way back over to the group.

Your smile instantly turned into a frown as you crossed your arms, debating a smart-aleck response.

“You know I don’t control the airline.”, you rolled your eyes, finally getting his attention.

“Joe came with us.”, Melanie smiled through gritted teeth.

“I see that.”, you narrowed your eyes.

They promised you that Joe wouldn’t come with them and now, here he was. You felt overly annoyed and frustrated, wishing you could have five minutes to ask her what the hell she had done by bringing him with them.

“I thought just you and Wesley were coming.”, you said, a hint of annoyance in your voice.

“Well, there is something we’d like to tell you and Joe. You’re our best friends.”, Melanie smiled, her eyes beaming.

You mustered a fake smile before Wesley offered to grab your bags. Joe stayed on his phone, never looking up as you all continued through the airport. The car was parked out front, and Melanie got in the front passenger seat, leaving you and Joe in the back seat. From your understanding, ever since Joe’s acting career went off, he had been hard to relate to and thought he was better than everyone. He thought he could pull any woman he wanted to— the thought alone caused you to roll your eyes.

“How was your flight?”, Wesley asked, closing the door.

“Long.”

Joe chuckled from beside you causing you to instantly glare at him. Who did he think he was?

“What’s so funny, Joe?”, you crossed your arms.

“Your flight was long, that’s a bit of an understatement.”

You rolled your eyes. He was so insufferable. What right did he have to push your buttons like this? You narrowed your eyes, crossing your arms defensively. Even his presence annoyed you. Everything about him—from the way he fixed his hair to the shoes he wore on his feet annoyed you.

“How does dinner sound?”, Melanie smiled, trying to break up the animosity.

“Fine.”, you and Joe answered together.

Silence took over the car ride as Wesley continued to drive. You knew you hadn’t been here long, but you already wanted to go back home. Especially if Joe was going to be part of your visit. Wesley and Melanie began talking amongst themselves, leaving you and Joe silent in the back. The car ride to the restaurant was agonizing, punishment enough already. You could only imagine how horrible dinner was going to be. What a disaster it would be. You’d have to drink. No, not just drink—get drunk to get through this night.

Then maybe after, this trip wouldn’t be so bad. You could only hope. That was all you could manage to hold onto right now. Wesley finally parked, pulling you all up to a fancy restaurant in Soho. Nothing like you usually had in the States. You all carefully got out, Wesley opening the door for Melanie before handing his keys to the valet, ushering you all to follow him inside.

Inside, quiet jazz music played as the waiter asked how many you had. Wesley told them he had reservations for a party of four. The waiter quickly grabbed menus and told you all to follow him. Weaving in and out of the crowd, you finally found yourselves at a table. Melanie sat on the other side of Wesley, unfortunately leaving Joe and you sitting together. . You both ended up beside each other, you trying your best not to look at him or make accidental eye contact.

You eyed the menu, trying to decide what you wanted. Wesley asked if you had any questions but you told him you decided on steak tartare, also ordering some wine to get started on your way to forgetting this night. After you all ordered, the waiter took the menus. Your drinks were served and you got a funny feeling while Melanie and Wesley were smiling at one another.

“So….”, Melanie began as she grabbed Wesley’s hand.

“So….”, you repeated.

You grabbed your wine glass, bringing it up to your lips.

“Um, Wes and I have some news…..”

This caught Joe’s attention, causing him to look at Wesley with a confused look. Your mind instantly went to the thought that she was pregnant by him.

“We’re engaged!”, they said together as Melanie flashed her ring, causing you to almost spit out your sip of wine.

You heard Joe take a deep breath as you grabbed a napkin to dab your lips.

“Congratulations.”, you finally choked out before coughing easily.

Deep down inside, this felt a little sudden.

“Yes, congratulations.”, Joe agreed, clearing his throat.

“And…..”, Melanie smiled as she looked back at Wesley, he nodded encouraging her to continue. “We want you and Joe to be our maid of honor and best man.”

She was smiling so wide, she was showing all her teeth. She laughed easily, giddy as ever. You were stunned by her even suggesting that you could be a maid of honor with Joe—being the best man. What was she thinking?

“You’re our best mates.”, Wesley smiled before he and Melanie shared a kiss.

You debated for a moment if you should agree to this—you knew what the maid of honor and best man did. Most of the wedding stuff was up to you all. Like bachelorette and bachelor parties, organizing a rehearsal dinner—you’d have to be in constant contact with one another. Did you really want that? But you didn’t want to let Wesley and Melanie down either.

“Um, sure—I’d love to.”, you spoke up finally.

“Yes, of course, I will.”, Joe agreed.

You met each other’s eyes, almost as if you all were thinking the same thing.

“Brill! Can’t wait.”, Wesley smiled.

“So when is the big day?”, Joe asked, sipping his wine before tearing into his oysters.

“The 15th of August.”

Joe coughed abruptly. “That's like—two months away.”

Melanie nodded. “We can’t wait any longer.”

“So I need to stay two months?”

“Actually, we’re planning to have the wedding in Italy.”, Melanie smiled.

“Yes, we’re planning to leave next Monday for Italy—but don’t worry—you and Joe are coming too, we hope.”, Wesley looked into Melanie’s eyes.

You and Joe exchanged looks for once, seeming to be thinking the same thing. Making a mental note, you knew you’d have to ask for an extension on your time off.

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”, Joe smiled easily before bringing the wine back up to his lips, making a small face as if it was bitter.

But it wasn’t the wine that was bitter. It was the thought of you all having to be in the same place together for two months. What were Wesley and Melanie thinking? They knew you both clearly didn’t get along well. And now you all were going to have to work together to plan a wedding for your best friends. This was clearly going to be the hardest thing you ever had to do.

“We’re so glad. And we got tickets to see the Arctic Monkeys tomorrow night at the music festival, try to relax and clear the air before things really start up.”, Wesley smirked to Melanie.

“Fun.”, you smiled easily.

“Cheers to that.”, Joe raised his wine glass.

You all made a small toast before you and Joe began downing wine as fast as the waiter could refill your glasses. The rest of the dinner ended up being a blur. You didn’t remember getting in the cab or Melanie and Wes helping to carry you inside Melanie’s apartment and getting you in the bed in her spare bedroom she had prepared just for you to come stay.

“How much did she drink?”, Wesley asked, your brain barely registering his voice inside a haze.

“I don’t know, several glasses. How’s Joe?”, Melanie asked.

So that idiot got drunk too. That made you feel a little better in your drunken state.

“Drunk off his ass.”

“Do you think you’ll be okay getting him inside?”

Their voices were low, barely audible through the door.

“I think so. If I need reinforcement, I’ll call some of our other mates.”, Wesley laughed lightly.

“Okay. Call me when you get home, I love you.”

“I love you too, babe. I will.”

There was the soft sound of Wesley’s footsteps departing along with the apartment door shutting quietly. You heard Melanie sigh before opening your door to peep in on you.

“Are you okay Y/N?”

“Fine—sleepy.”, you responded. “Can you help me out of my clothes?”

You knew you weren’t being yourself. This reminded you of your college days when you and Melanie would hit the clubs, partying. But this felt even worse than those days did. Was it because you’re older now and your body couldn’t handle that stuff anymore? Melanie attempted to help you stand up, most of your weight leaning on her.

“Okay, let’s get these clothes off.”, Melanie said as she tugged at your shirt.

It went up and over your head as she tugged at your dress pants, helping slide them down your leg. She fought against the fear you’d fall over.

“Y/N, can you help me some?”

“I’m trying, Melanie.”, you groaned.

After several minutes of fighting and frustration, your clothes were off leaving you only in your bra and panties before Melanie wrestled to get you in bed, covering you up.

“Goodnight, Mel.”

“Goodnight, Y/Nickname.”, she sighed as she flipped out the lights and shut your door softly.

Your head was pounding as you flipped over in bed in an attempt to get comfortable. It didn’t take long before you drifted off to sleep. Unsure of how many hours passed, you were awakened by that familiar sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. You shot up out of bed, throwing the door to the guest bedroom open and desperately looking down the hallway for the bathroom. Thankfully, you found it before throwing yourself over the toilet, emptying the contents of your stomach.

Silently, you prayed your best friend wouldn’t find you in this state. Hanging your head over the commode, you tried to wrap your head around what happened last night. All you remembered was going to dinner, Wesley and Melanie announcing their engagement and wedding, and you having to be in contact with Joe for at least two more months in Italy before this wedding. Apparently, all that information had been too much and that’s why you felt like wine was the appropriate answer, drinking yourself into oblivion.

You heard the door creak open softly. “Y/N?”

“I’m good, Mel. Go back to sleep.”, you groaned. “And no need to gloat on your way out.”

She chuckled lightly. “Hard to sleep when your best friend is puking her guts out.”

“I know—it’s my fault.”, you groaned.

“Was dinner really that miserable?”

“No. I’m happy for you and Wes, I really am. It’s just putting up with Joe.”

“Joe really isn’t that bad. I’ve had to put up with him a lot—he and Wes are kinda a packaged deal, you know.”, she crossed her arms playfully.

“Yeah, but he doesn’t hate you.”

You felt the nausea coming back on just thinking about him.

“He doesn’t hate you either.”

“Unless you wanna see me throw up again, can we finish this conversation later?”

“I’ll go make tea. Want some?”

“No thanks.”, you grabbed your stomach.

“Suit yourself.”, Melanie shrugged her shoulders playfully before closing the bathroom door.

_________________________________________________________________________

Several hours and a couple of tylenols later, you were finally beginning to feel like yourself again. You were lying on Melanie’s couch, staring at the white ceiling and debating your life choices. The only reason you had agreed to do this was for Melanie and Wesley. You had come to like Wesley a lot and you were happy to know he and Melanie were getting married. He was a good guy and seemed to genuinely care about her. You never expected her to find love in London, but you were happy she did. She deserved it after her last relationship.

“Wes and I are going to taste cake flavors today.”

“Sounds exciting.”, you responded lightly before turning your head to look at her.

She was putting her small hoop earrings in as she tried to simultaneously put on her heels.

“Who doesn’t love cake? Are you feeling any better? Think you’ll be up to the concert tonight?”

“Yeah, I think so. The room doesn’t seem as swimmy, so that’s a plus.”

Melanie chuckled in response. “Good. You and Joe really need to try and bond. It’s important to Wes and I. You’re our best friends and this is our big special day. We can’t have you all getting drunk in the bathroom, trying to avoid one another.”

“He’s the one who comes off snarky and like a pompous asshole.”

“Y/N, please. Just try. For us.”

“Fine.”, you groaned, crossing your arms.

“Alright, I’ll be back later. Go explore London or something.”

You gave a slight smirk at her as she grabbed her keys, and exited the apartment.

You turned on the television in an attempt to find something to watch, eventually leaving on the BBC channel and drifting off to sleep. The time difference was really fucking with you. Your phone’s annoying tones started you out of your sleep as you searched for your phone that you were sure you laid on the coffee table.

“Hello?”

Your voice was groggy.

“Hey. Can you do me a huge favor, please?”

Melanie. Her voice was desperate, she needed a huge favor.

“What’s up?”, you stretched easily, yawning.

“Have you been asleep?”, Wesley chimed in.

“Maybe. Look, the time difference is fucking with me. I’m jet-lagged. What’s up, Mel?”

“I forgot our wedding planner at Wesley’s apartment. We really need it.”

Your brain was trying to catch up.

“And risk running into Joe. No thanks.”

“Please.”, Melanie pleaded.

“Joe won’t bet there, I promise. He’s out for a run. Said he had to pick a few things up.”

You sighed, knowing you were gonna give in. But for the record, you were only doing this for them. No one else.

“Fine. Can you send me the address?”

“Thanks so much Y/N. It means so much to us. I’ll text it right over. See you soon.”

“Uh-huh, you’re welcome.”, you nodded through her endless appreciation.

You got up and threw on your shoes. For the weather, you had decided on jeans and a tank top. You had read that London’s weather could change at the drop of a hat. So far, it was warm and beautiful weather as you locked the apartment. You looked at the address to Wesley and Joe’s apartment, noting that it wasn’t very far from Melanie’s. You decided the walk couldn’t be that bad, right? Hopefully, you would avoid Joe’s running route. What psycho went running in the middle of the day?

You passed a lot of Londoners, feeling like you stuck out like a sore thumb. It felt like everyone’s eyes were on you as if they knew you didn’t belong here. Some people were riding their bikes, running, walking with friends and you silently prayed one person you wouldn’t pass was Joe. You were not in the mood to deal with him today. Not right now, anyway. He was like alcohol, you had to build a tolerance.

After a brisk twenty-minute walk, you arrived at the apartment numbered 213, knowing this was their apartment. Wesley had texted you, telling you there was a spare key under the mat in the event that he or Joe had forgotten their keys or locked themselves out. Looking around, you made sure no one was watching you as you pulled the mat up and grabbed the spare key. One step closer to getting in here, finding the planner, and getting out. That was your goal, that was your mission.

Clearing your throat, you slid the key into the lock. It opened with ease. You braced yourself as you entered their apartment, hesitant of what the smell would be or what you’d find but to your surprise, everything was fairly neat and in order. Shoes were lined up neatly at the door, the smell of bourbon filling your nose. You slid your shoes off, making your way into the apartment, feeling like you were in the clear.

Their apartment was posh-looking, especially for be two men living there. It was neat and classy, but honestly you didn’t expect much less from Joe.

“I wonder where she left that stupid planner.”, you sighed as you began to look in the living room.

“Well hello to you too, love. What planner?”

You jumped, not expecting to hear another voice in the apartment—much less from the person you loathed. Your eyes shot over to the kitchen to find a nude Joe in the kitchen, the counter covering his cock and balls. He had a huge cheeky smirk on his face as he lit a cigarette. His curly hair was sticking to his forehead, his arms glistened in the kitchen light. You cursed your body as your stomach twisted into a pretzel.

“Oh fuck—oh my God. I didn’t think you’d be home. Wes told me and promised me you wouldn’t be here.”, you stammered, covering your face.

Instantly, you could feel the blood draining from your face and your cheeks heating up.

“I came home from my jog a little early. It’s hard not to stare right?”

“Um no I just came here—for Melanie and Wesley’s stupid wedding planning book. Where is it?”

Joe smirked as he took a puff from his cigarette as you flipped over pillows on the couch, turned over magazines, and moved anything that you thought could be in the way of you finding this planner so you could get the hell out of here.

“I could tell you where it is—if you wanna do a little something for me in return, you know, help one another?”

“And what’s that?”, you snapped back, opening the cabinets to the entertainment system.

You were too focused in the living room to notice Joe coming out from behind the counter, his cock on full display. He chuckled softly, causing you to turn around and recoil.

“Maybe give me a little something of yours?”

You knew what he was implying, your eyes narrowing.

“Your sexy little cunt. God, it’s been a while since I had sex.”

“Please. You could have sex with any girl you want.”, you rolled your eyes. “And besides, I hate your guts.”

“Have you ever had hate sex? I mean you’re not looking away or telling me to put clothes on. It’s so big, it’s hard not to look, right?”

“Fuck off, Joe.”

He chuckled tauntingly like he was trying to make you mad. “Aw come on, you’ve never had one this big I bet. Have you?”, he asked, taking his cock in his free hand while he stroked the length of his shaft.

“I’ve had one bigger.”, you lied as you turned your attention to the bookcase.

“Really? Then you’ll have no problem taking mine, will you?”

“And just why should I?”

You skimmed through the bookcase, searching and hoping you’d find this planner. But it wasn’t looking to work out in your favor.

“Because I’m sure you got the speech where we need to get closer, didn’t you? Wesley gave me mine this morning before I left on my run.”

“So sex will bring us closer?”

Your tone was condescending, making it sound like his proposition was the dumbest thing you’d ever heard of.

“Maybe it just makes us hate each other a little less?”

“Where did she put this fucking book?”, you groaned, feeling like you wanted to pull your hair out while completely ignoring Joe’s question.

He watched you for a minute before putting his cigarette out in the ashtray, able to comfortably stroke himself now. You bent over looking in every place that you thought this planner could hide. Were you trying to entice him? It was like dangling a piece of meat in front of an alligator and expecting it not to bite. He bit his lip while watching you intently, thinking of all the things he could do to you. He’d make a mess of you, he just knew it. All he needed was the okay and he would.

You stood back up, running a hand through your hair and debating ripping some out in frustration.

“Fuck me.”, you sighed.

“I’d love to if you’d let me.”, came his snarky response.

You glared at him. “You really know where the planner is?”

“Of course I do. Wes and Melanie always work on it here.”

“And if we do this, you’d tell me.”

“Of course, I would. I’m not a total dick, Y/N.”

“I’ve already been here fifteen minutes.”, you eyed your Apple Watch.

“Fifteen minutes we could have utilized, hm?”, he hummed as he came closer—so close his breath was on your neck.

You could feel his eyes staring at you, studying you. You swallowed hard, closing your eyes. You were not about to give in to Joseph Quinn, were you?

“You’re a pretty girl, you know that? It’s just that fucking bratty attitude of yours.”

You turned to meet his eyes, him continuing to steadily stroke his cock. You couldn’t help it—your eyes wandered down to his cock. You pursed your lips, close to saying something in response but the words weren’t forming. It was like your brain was mush and you hated feeling this way. You hated allowing a man to make you feel this way. Feminists everywhere would be so ashamed.

“So what’s it gonna be, love?”

“Where?”, you sighed, gritting your teeth.

“The couch. Gotta make it quick and fast. You gotta get that planner to Melanie and Wes.”

“Thank you Captain Obvious.”, you rolled your eyes.

“Just shut up and let’s fuck.”, he breathed as he pulled you closer, crashing his lips into yours.

Your brain was running a million miles a minute, trying to think of every reason that this was wrong. He gently backed you up into the living room, beginning to tug at your jeans making quick work of unbuttoning them. You felt the button come loose, him tugging your jeans down so hard you were afraid he might have ripped one of your favorite pairs of jeans. Another reason you could hate him. He broke the kiss, allowing you to steady yourself by holding onto his shoulders as he bent down, helping you out of your jeans. Why was he being rough but nice? It didn’t make sense.

Closing your eyes, your brain was trying to convince you this was stupid. You hated this man. But you weren’t listening to your voice of reason, trying to bury it as one of his hands brushed over your cunt.

“Let’s just see how wet you are for me.”, he breathed as he pulled your panties to the side, immediately inserting two fingers causing you to gasp and dig your nails into his shoulder blades.

He smirked up at you, brown eyes burning with desire and lust. Not those little puppy dog eyes all the girls claimed he had.

“Fuck. You’re soaked.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to look at anything but him. “Am not.”

He laughed at your attempt to convince him otherwise. “Oh you’re soaked, love. This turns you on—I turn you on.”

“It isn’t you.”, you laughed bitterly as his fingers traced your wet folds, going deeper.

“No?”

“No.”, you argued more confidently. “Any human is gonna get turned on when sex is mentioned. Basic sex ed.”, you scoffed as you choked back a moan.

“I suppose.”, he agreed. “But you’re just a little too eager for this, aren’t you?”

“Fuck—you.”, you choked as he buried his fingers deeper. “Thought this was gonna be fast.”

“You want it rough and fast?”

“I’m sure Melanie and Wesley will be blowing up my phone any second.”

“Fine, we’ll fuck fast.”, he groaned as he slid both fingers out of your wet cunt, causing you to whimper before he picked you up and tossed you on the couch, grabbing your tank top, pulling it up and over your head fast and in a hurry.

All that was left was your bra and panties. Grabbing one side of your panties, he jerked them down your legs and kept only one leg in so it would be faster to put them back on or so you imagined. Climbing on top of you, he pulled the cups of your bra down and exposed your breasts just enough so he could play with them. There was no need to take it completely off when you all had to rush through this, right?

Wasting no time, he quickly lined himself up with your entrance. You inhaled deeply, bracing yourself for him. It had been months since you’d had sex and you weren’t going to lie, you were a little eager. Or your body was at least.

“Fuck.”, you hissed as he split you wide open, burying himself deep in your cunt.

“Thought you had one bigger than mine.”

You glared up at him. “It’s been a few months since I’ve had sex, okay?”

“Aw, you’ve been deprived, haven’t you?”, he feigned as he began to move his hips.

You closed your eyes and tried to ignore him, feeling him working himself deep inside of you. It stung slightly, but you knew it was because you hadn’t had sex in a while.

“Fuck you’re so tight.”, he groaned as he quickened his pace, the burning sensation intensifying.

Fighting the urge to crinkle your face, you hoped this pain would soon turn to pleasure. It always did. You didn’t respond to him, choosing to ignore him.

“M’ can tell you haven’t been fucked in a while. How long’s it been?”

“I don’t know—exactly.”, you moaned as you turned your head to the side.

“Sure, you do.”, he moved one of his hands to twist and pinch your hard nipple.

“I don’t know…six months.”, you breathed in a moan as he hit the spot that made you forget your name, instantly turning the pain into pleasure—finally.

“Six months.”, he repeated, breathing beginning to hitch. “I’m gonna give it to you so hard.”

You opened your eyes. “What are you waiting for then?”

He chuckled, a smile spreading across his face. “Be careful what you wish for, love….”

Without warning, he picked up his pace causing your eyes to widen and your senses to heighten. He was putting a lot of force behind it, pounding you into the couch so hard you could almost see stars.

“You—just—might—get it.”, he groaned out.

“Fuck, Joe.”, you moaned as you gripped his shoulder tighter, sinking your fingernails in.

“Your cunt takes my cock so well....”, he hissed as he grabbed one of your legs, slinging it over his shoulder, allowing himself more leverage.

How did you end up in this situation? It wasn’t by chance. Would it happen again? Your brain couldn’t hypothetically answer those questions right now, much more focused on something else—someone else.

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah—fits like a glove.”, he grunted as he rutted himself into you.

You closed your eyes, trying to focus on a climax. You needed to cum and at least get something out of this for yourself other than Melanie’s stupid planner. You deserved it for having to put up with his dumb ass. It was happening, you were climbing that hill and fast. Joe could read it on your face, he could almost see your heart beating out of your chest. Your pulse was skyrocketing, you just knew it.

“Close?”, He breathed.

You didn’t respond. He was going to get an answer out of you—one way or another. Smirking, he pulled out abruptly causing your eyes to shoot open, a gasp leaving your lips.

“What—the—fuck, Joe?”

“You never answered me.”

You sighed, clearly annoyed. “I was close before you fucking pulled out.”

“See? Was that so hard?”, he asked.

You groaned. “Can you please just shut up and let’s finish?”

He grunted as he continued to fuck himself deep inside you. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on your own release. You needed this. Your stress was through the roof and you owed this to yourself to get through these next two months. Melanie never explained that you’d be coming to London for a wedding. It was just supposed to be catching up. Joe wasn’t supposed to be in the equation, not for the full length of time.

“It’s easily been thirty minutes.”, you groaned.

“It’s hard to cum when you’re complaining, love.”

“You probably jerk off thinking about it—about my bitchy little mouth, don’t you?”

“I’m not letting you get in control.”, he gritted his teeth, clearly becoming close.

The fight for power kinda of turned you on, helping you become closer to an orgasm. Anything to get you through this. His expression eased when he noticed the signs coming back—the signs you were becoming close to an orgasm again. He decided this time he wouldn’t be too mean. His curls were sticking to his forehead, sweat beading up on his forehead and face. One thing you learned in a short time during your stay here was that Londoners didn’t use air conditioning.

His single chain was dangling as he aimlessly fucked himself into you. What a grade-A douchebag he was. You knew he thought he was God’s gift to women. Hell, he’d probably have another one tonight at the music festival. All you were was a notch in his belt.

“Fuck—I’m gonna cum.”, you hissed.

“Oh fuck—cum all over my dick.”

His words sent you over the edge instantly. You tightened your grip, sinking fingernails into his shoulders as your eyes rolled back in your head, toes curling as you felt your cunt tighten around him and your juices began covering his dick.

“Fuck—fuck—fuck….”, was all you could hiss out during your orgasm.

A proud smile spread across his lips as he watched you come undone right in front of him. He wasn’t going to coerce you through your orgasm, you were a big girl.

“Shit, you squirted all over my dick. You’re a squirter, aren’t you?”

You didn’t answer him.

“Fuck, you are. And that’s sexy shit. Porno shit. Every man’s fucking wet dream.”, he laughed as he continued to fuck himself inside of you, only intensifying your orgasm.

Interrupting your moment of euphoria was your stupid cell phone. It took a moment for your brain to even register what it was. It was Melanie’s ringtone.

“Joe.”

“I’m working on it.”, he hummed. “Almost there if you’ll shut your bitchy mouth.”

“You have to fucking cum or get out of me because this means I’m taking too long.”, you rolled your eyes, squirming under him.

“Just relax. Gonna—cum—hold still, fuck—here it comes.”, he threw his head back. “Gonna fill you full.”

You feel his hips stutter as you held onto him haphazardly, instantly feeling his hot, sticky cum coat the walls of your cunt as you stretched just enough to answer your phone.

“Hello?”, your breathing was quick and sounded like you had run a marathon.

“Hey Y/Nickname, did you find our planner? The baker is kinda waiting on us.”, she laughed nervously. “What have you been doing? It sounds like you’re working out or something.”

Joe held back a laugh only snickering as he finished cumming deep inside of you, holding himself there and making sure none was wasted.

“Uh—just nerves. Can’t find your planner and freaking out. I was hoping not to have to call you but I can’t find it.”

Joe slid out once he was sure he was finished, causing you to wince as some of his load seeped out behind him. He disappeared into another room, leaving you on the phone with your best friend, practically naked.

“It’s in Wesley’s room. Just open the door and it should be on the bedside table or in the drawer one, I can’t remember.”

Joe came back with a towel and the planner, holding it like it was some prize.

“Uh, I found it. Be there asap. Send me directions to the bakery. Thanks, love you, bye.”, you hit the end button quickly.

“Clean yourself up and go. Here’s the planner.”, he tossed the towel at you and laid the planner on the arm of the loveseat.

“Really? What a gentleman.”, you rolled your eyes.

“And yet you could have just called Melanie from the beginning to ask her where her planner was, but you fucked me so I would tell you.”, he smirked. “Who really wants this worse than the other?”

You were lying there in disbelief, trying to process this. No way you wanted this more than he did. The only reason you considered this was because you hadn’t had sex in a while. That was the only reason—wasn’t it?

“You’re a dirty girl, Y/N. I’ll see you tonight.”

With that, he turned to go and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. You groaned as you quickly wiped yourself off and fixed your underwear and bra before sliding your jeans on. You tossed the towel on the floor, leaving the remnants of the mess you made behind. You quickly looked at yourself in the reflection of the cabinet before grabbing the planner, you looked okay but you definitely needed a shower. In the bathroom, you could hear the sound of water cutting on.

You looked down at the address on your phone, opening the door to the apartment to leave. The sun was shining, it was a beautiful day. Closing the door and eyeing your watch, you knew you had to be fast. That took a little longer than you were expecting especially since you had run into some…obstacles. Deciding quickly to hail a cab, you knew this would be the faster route. You had to make up time and it felt bad to know Wesley and Melanie were waiting on you. You couldn’t tell them the real reason for your delay.

Ten more minutes passed before you arrived at the bakery, quickly paying your fare and exiting the cab, holding onto the planner for dear life. You threw open the door to the bakery to see Melanie and Wesley sitting with the baker, looking at designs and flavors while they apologized for the delay.

“Sorry, it took me so long. I looked everywhere.”, you laughed nervously.

“It’s fine, thank you for doing that for us.”, Wesley smiled as you handed him the planner.

“Yes, thank you so much Y/N.”, Melanie chimed in.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed causing you to pull it out of your back pocket. The number wasn’t in your contacts but you instantly knew who it was upon reading it.

-Thanks for earlier. We should do it again sometime. X

“No problem. I’m gonna grab some lunch and head back to the apartment and grab a shower before tonight. Have fun picking cakes.”, you smiled nervously, causing Wesley and Melanie to sense something was off with you but they couldn’t put their finger on it.

You rushed out of the bakery, feeling like you were about to suffocate. The fresh air with the breeze didn’t seem to quail your issues in the slightest. You needed to come to terms with what you had done and quickly. Reality was hitting you full force as you felt something between your legs. This really happened and there was no undoing it. Your phone buzzed again, reminding you that you hadn’t opened or responded to the text message. And your dumb-ass self actually looked again. It was going to be a long two months.

#joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #eddie munson #joseph x reader #eddie imagines #stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie stranger things #enemies to lovers #Spotify

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silverofthunder · 7 months ago

Text

☆ downfall ☆

Papa Emeritus IV x GN Reader || 🔞

summary: ”I need more time.”

content: 2.6k words, mystery (kind of), drama, fantasy, romance, angst, hurt/comfort

♡♡ part 1 ♡♡ part 2 ♡♡ part 3 ♡♡ part 4 ♡♡ part 5 ♡♡

Finally reached this point of the story. This wasn't that easy to write but well, sometimes things go different way. I love how this story is challenging me even thought this has been pretty easy to write on most parts. Enjoy!

It had been a while since you two had spend some time at the cemetery. Everything had started from there so it was only natural to return there. The coldness of the night was biting but you were so comfortable sitting on the large tombstone, sketching in your notebook. Copia was lying beside you, his head resting on your lap and you used his upper arm as a stand for your notebook. He wasn’t asleep, obviously, just enjoying the quietness like you.

Lately you had been having moments like this more frequently, where there was silence between you, and you had usually been writing or sketching while Copia was just close to you. It didn’t feel like you needed to talk, just sharing the space, the night was enough. You were glad that Copia didn’t need to spend all of his nights alone anymore. Of course he had his brothers but it wasn’t the same. The Emeritus brothers were quite a gang now that you had gotten to know them better and you knew how… chaotic it might get if they would spend too much time with each other.

You smiled and shook your head at the thought of the brothers arguing with each other. Especially Terzo and Copia seemed to clash the most, though it was still obvious that they cared about one another greatly. Being the eldest ones, Primo and Secondo were probably the voices of reason and did they best to keep things civil. Copia adored Primo and they seemed to have the closest brotherly bond. It was sweet, seeing the two always being so kind to each other, speaking of the other warmly.

Copia and Secondo seemed to share the most mysterious bonds you had ever seen. There was respect and all but you hadn’t seen them showing much affection towards each other. Well, it wasn’t really that odd as Secondo certainly was someone who seemed to be less open about his feelings. His stoicness was sometimes intimidating and he wasn’t really talkative in general but it didn’t mean that he didn’t care about his brothers.

”Penny for you thoughts.” Copia’s voice brought you back on earth. You chuckled quietly, slipping your notebook and pen into your coat’s pocket, threading your fingers into Copia’s hair.

”I was just thinking about you and your brothers and how things are between you.”

Copia shifted, turning his head so he could look up at you. In the dim light of your phone’s flashlight Copia seemed a bit… tired but you didn’ t think more of it and just smiled down at him.

”Well, they can be a pain in the ass but we’re as great we can be,” Copia said with a small smile on his lips.

”Good.”

The silence returned between you quickly as neither of you seemed to want to continue the conversation and you lifted your head to gaze into the distance. The coldness was really starting to get into you and you needed to move soon, otherwise you would freeze on the spot. A thought crossed your mind and you pondered for a moment if you dared to suggest it.

”Could we play a bit?” you eventually asked. ”I really need to move or I’ll freeze to death.”

Copia moved into a sitting position, raising his brow.

”Play?”

”Yeah, it’s silly but…” you paused for a moment, turning to look at Copia, ”could you maybe chase me, like you were hunting?”

Copia blinked like he was trying to figure out if he had heard right. You waited, eyes scanning Copia’s face closely. This time he had no paints on and there were indeed lines on his face, clearly a sign of tiredness. A small knot of worry formed within you but you decided to leave it be for now.

”Sure, if that’s what you want,” Copia finally responded, offering you a smile. You stood up immediately, your feet feeling a little numb so you had to rub them for a moment and do some little jumps. Copia looked at you amused, standing then up, too.

”Let’s have some fun,” you smirked and started to walk backwards, further away from Copia. Soon you turned your back on him and ran, the excitement bubbling inside you.

Copia took his time to circle you, moving fast and with elegance, before grabbing you from behind and swirling you around to steal a quick kiss from you. You laughed as he disappeared soon after and continued running.

The next moment he appeared in front of you, fangs bared and you smiled as he wrapped his arms around you, lifting you up and spinning around. When your feet met the ground again, Copia was gone in the blink of an eye, now lurking somewhere in the darkness. Watching, following your every move as your feet carried you around the cemetery.

Eventually you started to feel out of breath and you decided to head back to the tombstone. You passed a large tree and unfortunately your other leg got stuck to something and you lost your balance, falling to the ground. Cursing you moved into a sitting position, your ankle stinging and when you took a look at it, there was a big scratch marring the skin. You touched it carefully, bringing your fingers then closer to your face.

Blood. There was a tiny bit of blood on the tip of your fingers.

You barely had time to blink before Copia was there and the next thing you felt was a sharp pain, something burning you from inside out and you screamed. Tears gathered to your eyes as you realized that Copia was holding your leg, his fangs sunk into your skin, the look in his eyes predatoric as he sucked your blood. The burning pain was soon fading and you stared at Copia completely frozen.

Tears fell down to your cheeks, and at the same time you were numb but also shattering from within. You had no idea of how much time had passed but somewhere at the back of your mind you knew that this couldn’t continue. You had to make Copia stop.

”Please…” you said. ”Stop.”

Copia didn’t seem to register your words, his hold of your leg just tightening and now the dread was slowly creeping into you, for the first time in Copia’s presence. You sucked in a shaky breath.

”Stop!” you now shouted, pained, and gave a little kick to Copia with your other leg. That seemed to break him out of his trance, his eyes widening in shock as he backed away fast, going to lean against the nearest tree. You stood up fast, eyes still glued to him, seeing how he was shaking. He didn’t look at you anymore and soon he turned and disappeared into the night without a word.

You stood there staring at into nothingness for a what felt like a small eternity. It was hard to think straight but eventually your instincts told you to leave so you did go to pick up your phone and walked home as fast you could. At home you took a care of the scratch and bite marks, tears burning your eyes the whole time, heart feeling heavy in your chest.

When you finally got to the bed, you curled up under the blanket, hugging a pillow, hoping it would offer you at least a bit of comfort you so desperately needed then.

After that night you didn’t see Copia anymore. You tried to continue your life as normally as you could, going to work and using your free time sketching and writing. You avoided moving anywhere near Hunter’s Moon or any other place where you and Copia had spend time together. It had been so hard to get your head around the fact that Copia had bitten you – it still hurt. Not physically, the marks on your ankle were already healed, but emotionally.

You had trusted Copia not to hurt you and yet he had ended up doing so. Of course you had known the risk but you still had believed it wouldn’t happen without a warning. It had been some weeks by now, yet the pain in your heart didn’t seem to lessen. You did your best to keep yourself busy but when you were home, ready to get some sleep, everything just became harder. There were nights that you had barely slept, your mind and heart trying to make a sense of it all. You were tired and yearning for some comfort. Any kind would do now if you were honest.

Copia wasn’t the only one you had not seen. You had expected that at some point one of his brothers would come to you but so far there had been no sight of them. Until one evening when you had just reached your apartment door and were fishing your keys out of your pocket.

”How have you been?” You were startled by Terzo’s voice, your heart jumping in your chest as you turned around to face him. He looked genuinely concerned and you let out a sigh.

”I’ve been better,” you answered folding your arms in front of you. ”You probably know what happened.”

Terzo nodded. ”I’m sorry.” You shrugged. ”Not your fault.”

”No, but we’re all the same, nonetheless,” Terzo said and you knew what he meant. ”Of course, none of us wanted that to happen. Not like that.”

”Well, it happened and it can’t be undone,” you said, probably sounding a bit frustrated. Terzo took a few steps closer to you, and you allowed that, though the uneasiness was prickling under your skin. Terzo probably sensed that as his brows furrowed slightly.

”You’re not the only one hurt. Copia…” Terzo started to explain, a hint of sadness in his eyes. ”He is not doing well. He has barely been feeding ever since the… accident. He has been saying that he can’t ever see you again but I think that he needs to see you.”

A thought of Copia not feeding properly made your heart hurt like someone was squeezing it tightly. However, you didn’t know if you were sure you wanted to see Copia yet. At some point you probably had to see him but now…

”I don’t think I’m ready to see him yet.”

Your words seemed to only make Terzo more sad but there was also understanding evident in his gaze.

”I know that this is the worst possible situation to you but… I’m afraid that if this goes on for too long, something bad happens. Copia is known for taking things heavily and beating himself up. If he does stop feeding…”

Terzo didn’t finish his sentence and you could guess why. You clenched your fists and jaw, willing away the horrible thought from your mind.

”I need more time,” you spoke quietly, now taking a step towards Terzo. He gave you a small smile, nodding, his shoulders slugging. It wasn’t nice to see him like that, and a moment later you opened your arms, motioning Terzo to come closer. He looked surprised, hesitant a little but then he came to you and let you close him in an embrace.

You let out a long sigh as Terzo clung to you tightly and it didn’t take long before you could feel yourself relaxing into the hug. You didn’t know which one of you needed more comfort but it didn’t matter.

”I’m so sorry,” Terzo apologized again and you just patted his back gently.

”Everything will be alright,” you said even though there really was no guarantee that would happen. Of course you hoped things could be fixed somehow. It was most likely that Copia wouldn’t come to you, so you would have to eventually go to see him.

Inhaling deep and then letting the air slowly out, you closed your eyes, tightening your hold of Terzo. Right now he was the closest that knew a fraction of the pain you were going through. After what had happened, being so close to a vampire should have felt more frightening but the earlier uneasiness had now faded, replaced by the compassion.

When Terzo finally pulled away, he smiled at you warmly, his eyes holding a glimmer of hope.

”You know that Copia is completely smitten with you?”

You shrugged, a small smile rising to your lips, not really knowing what to say to that.

”Okay, now it’s time for you to go,” you said, trying to pretend to be annoyed but you knew it was a weak attempt. Terzo grinned at you and you shook your head.

”Time,” you said, patting your chest and with a one last nod to you Terzo turned around and left, leaving you standing there with all emotions swirling inside you.

”I went to Hunter’s Moon on Saturday.”

Olivia’s words made you almost choke on your coffee and you tried to hid it by moving your hand fast before your mouth. She gave you a confused look but a wide smile rose soon back to her lips.

”It was an interesting place,” she said, leaning back on the chair. ”Have you been there?”

You swallowed, setting your coffee mug on the table.

”Uh, yeah,” you answered.

”Who knew there are vampires walking among us? Had the pleasure to meet a few. Brothers, I guess,” she explained and seemed oddly calm. You raised your brows, your curiosity now awakened.

”Do you happen to remember their names?” you inquired and the way Olivia’s eyes seemed to brighten told you that she was glad that you had asked more.

”I think the other was Terzo. A very charming one, I must say,” Olivia grinned and you chuckled, perfectly understanding the description. ”I don’t remember if I caught the other’s name. The bartender, the bald guy, a vampire I mean.”

”Ah, he’s Secondo,” you told, smiling. ”Not as scary as he seems.”

Olivia laughed a little, quirking her brows.

”Sounds like you know them.”

You took a good sip of your coffee, using a moment to think how much you should share with Olivia. She already knew about vampires existence and it didn’t seem to faze her much so it wouldn’t probably hurt to tell her more.

”Well, I could say that I know them a little better than some others.”

Olivia hummed, seeming to sink into her own thoughts and you waited, having finished your coffee by the time she slammed her hand against the table, leaning closer to you.

”Wait… The guy you’ve been seeing. Did you meet him at the Hunter’s Moon? You said that I didn’t want to know how you two met. Are you dating a vampire?”

Shit. She figured it out quickly. Not that she was stupid but still, maybe a part of you had hoped she wouldn’t realize that. And now you were wondering if you should tell her about Copia. You still hadn’t seen him after the bite insident, so the things were still unclear between you. Just as you were about to open your mouth to answer Olivia, your boss entered the room and you knew your break was over. When you took a quick glance at the clock, you realized that you had actually spend a few extra minutes on break.

You and Olivia stood up, and you quickly went to rince your coffee mug before following Olivia to the store’s customer service side.

”Well, are you dating a vampire?” She leaned closer to you and you sighed.

”Yes,” you admitted and she let out a small, happy squeal, quietly clapping her hands. You rolled your eyes, finding her enthusiasm annoyingly amusing.

”Gosh, I have so many questions to you,” she said excitedly and you wanted to slap yourself. Of course she would have questions. Questions you weren’t sure if you wanted to answer. At least to some specific ones.

”Well, no time for them now as there seems to be customers waiting,” you stated, pointing at one customer. Olivia groaned unnecessarily dramatic and you couldn’t help but grin at her. It seemed that maybe you two might actually get along pretty well.

taglist: @nijiru

#papa emeritus iv x reader #copia x reader #ghost band fic #ghost band fanfic #jen writes fics

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xiaolanhua · 8 months ago

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So here are my thoughts about In Blossom!

This post may have some spoilers!

I finished watching it yesterday and decided to make a post about my opinions while the drama is still fresh in my mind.

So, the drama made me interested from beginning till the end and overall it's great! It's nothing really revolutionary in terms of plot/story (historical dramas tend to have some similar stories) but it delivered what was promised: mystery, romance, investigation, a bit of thriller with amazing shots and gorgeous costumes!

About the leads:

Liu Xue Yi as the male lead really raised the level of this drama. His performance was one of my favorite things while watching it and i'm so grateful to whoever casted him as the lead because he deserves it (enough with playing the bad guy who never gets his happy ending or the girl 🥲).

At first, I was a little bit concerned about watching because I wasn't a fan of Ju Jing Yi's acting from the dramas I've watched with her but after finishing this one I think she made a solid performance (it's not the best one but definitely her best one yet) and it didn't compromised the drama at all. I've seeing a bunch of not so nice comments towards her specially because people were not happy with the actress "swapping" and although I think the "original" Yang Cai Wei did a great job I'm still satisfied with how things turned out and I like both "Cai Wei".

About the main couple:

For me, it's really poetic how Pan Yue loved Cai Wei since childhood, got to reunite with her after 10 years from being apart of each other, to think he finally married her and then "she" dies on the eve of the wedding, and how he goes insane about her death that get white strokes on his hair and goes on a mission to know who is behind her murder WHILE Cai Wei it's alive by his side but with the face of someone he despises (Shangguan Zhi) and when they start to work together on the cases, they begin to be close to each other and he hates himself for developing feelings for Shangguan Zhi thinking he's betraying Cai Wei's memory. It get's even better because he's falling in love again as she's behaving like the Cai Wei he knows so he get's even more confused and watching all of this was a delight!

They had chemistry, their scenes were fun, interesting, tender and sometimes even hot so it's a win for me actually.

About the second couple (SPOILER!!!!):

Their interactions were pretty cute and they had chemistry but it's a shame what happened to them, specially with Lan Jiang (he deserved better). I always felt that they were a "doomed" couple and I'm sad that I was right about it, my heart hurts for them both as the characters themselves and the ship that didn't sail.

About the cases and the story:

Another thing i liked about this drama is how the cases were introduced, they were directly or indirectly related to the main "mystery" and every case were solved so they didn't left any loose ends. Some dramas of this genre tend to abruptly solve the cases and they end up not adding much to the narrative so I'm glad this were not the case here.

The pacing of the drama was pretty good but I do feel like the last two episodes were a bit rushed. We can't have it all, can't we?

The ending was good as expected (not for some characters I would say) but still good. SPOILER!!! I liked that the cliffhanger did not affected the characters so it could have a second season if the producers wanted but it's not necessarily needed (My Journey to You can't relate).

Overall, it was a pleasant watch so I rate 8.9 out of 10. It's not perfect but I would totally recommend!

#in blossom #in blossom spoilers #cdrama #drama review #aurora says #花间令

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mermaidsirennikita · 1 month ago

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hi!! i love your recs so much. I’ve read so much more romance thanks to you and your commentary. If you don’t mind, can you rec me some historical romance books where the fmc and mmc are both proper sticks in the mud all about duty ‘they’d be more happy if they got laid’ energy? Usually only either is that (the fmcs even less so) I’m kinda over super slutty jovial type heroes and need more grumps but would also like a grumpy heroine too.

First off, thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying more romance :D I hope that these recs help even more—I never mind giving them, I'm just sometimes slower to answer due to work or whatever.

My immediate thought was Judith McNaught's A Kingdom of Dreams. Jennifer isn't really a stick in the mud (she's rather fiery and rebellious) but neither wants to marry and does it purely out of duty. They actually have an initially flirty relationship (and sleep together before the engagement) BUT it then goes off the rails and they become proper enemies before they're forced to marry. Royce is mad about it, but the king ordered it soooooO! Jennifer tries to get out of it, but again, duty ultimately prevails.

The Chief by Monica McCarty comes to mind. Another one where they sleep together before marriage, but it's super brief and interrupted, and it happens purely to trap him (which she doesn't want, but her father does for political purposes). They're all about the duty. The sex actually IS physically good, but he withholds emotionally for a loooong time. The Recruit has similar vibes, but they also sleep together before marriage (see: a pattern lol) before hating each other, and they marry because he finds out she's pregnant and was trying to hide it from him. Neither wants to. But. DUTY. HONOR. It takes them a whiiiile to really warm up to each other again.

Enchanted by Elizabeth Lowell gives this vibe a LOT. But I will say, SA trauma figures heavily into the novel, and is why the heroine is so cold to the hero. It's a 90s romance, so he actually initially thinks she's lying about it as well when he finally finds out, BUT NOT IN A MAD WAY, in a "oh, she's trying to hide her besmirched honor from me, baby don't worry I don't care". When he finds out she's telling the truth.... Oh.... It hurts. But yeah, there's a lot of initial duty and then hurt/comfort that yields into passion. Untamed, the first book in the series, has shades of this as well—the heroine is sweeter versus being a stick in the mud, but the marriage is arranged and they're both about doing their duty. And he BADLY needs to loosen up (by sleeping with her) but he just wants an heir~.

If you're open to fantasy, I'd say The Hurricane Wars leads directly into this in the second book, Monsoon Rising, which isn't out until December. So you're left at the marriage point in the first book, but OOOOH I PROMISE THE SECOND IS BIIIG ON THIS if you're willing to wait a little bit longer. It's great.

Another fantasy option is The Winter King, wherein the hero conquers the heroine's kingdom (her brother killed! His entire family!) and they marry as part of a truce. Neither of 'em want to be there, there's some initial tenderness that gives way to mistrust, there's a HUGE heir pressure...

#romance novel blogging #romance novels #book recs

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chronicbeans · 1 year ago

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Yandere Dr. Harvey x Reader with Eosinophilic Esophagitis (part 1)

Haha... Hahaha... This is definitely not me being self-indulgent haha! I would never.... Yes I would. And this is. Also I do plan to make more general headcanons for Yandere Harvey with a chronically ill reader, alongside the other romance candidates.

I finally finished part one, lol.

TW: Chronic Illness (EoE), Hospital/Clinic Settings, Manipulation, Anxiety

Sitting in Dr. Harvey's office, you watch as he gathers his tools for the check-up. A stethoscope, a blood pressure cuff, and a few other small instruments that he usually uses for his work. He places them all on the nearby desk

He turns to you, grinning happily. "How do you feel today?" You take a moment, before saying "I feel alright. My condition hasn't gotten any better or any worse. If anything, I just feel a little tired, today." His smile falters slightly, before returning "That's alright. It is always great whenever things don't get worse, right? Prepare for the worst and hope for the best, is what I like to say!"

You chuckle, nodding "Yeah! For me I like to prepare for the worst and hope for the mediocre. That way, when good things come, it feels even better! Haha!" You slowly trail off, seeing that Dr. Harvey doesn't look as amused as you are. You then sit there, awkwardly, as he prepares the blood pressure cuff. "Can you raise your arm for a second, so I can put the cuff on?"

Doing so, he slips the cuff around your arm. Then, he inflated the cuff, taking your blood pressure. His brows furrow together as he listens, before he removes the cuff rather quickly. "Your blood pressure is a bit low... Did you eat this morning?"

Your eyes widen, before you shake your head in shame. "No... I uh... I forgot." He frowns, clearly not believing you. Grabbing his stethoscope, again, he says "It is important to eat breakfast, otherwise you won't have enough energy to go about your day... How often would you say you eat in a day, on average?"

You think about what you have eaten that week, before saying "Umm... I believe I usually have lunch and dinner. Sometimes, I will have a small snack in the morning. I'm just not that hungry in the morning." You shrug, continuing "I take a long time to eat, too, so I just get full quicker. I think I'm fine, really."

Harvey sighs, before continuing with the check-up. "Hold still, okay? I need to listen to your heart and lungs." He places one hand on your back as he presses the diaphragm of the stethoscope against your chest. You begin to feel a bit nervous. What if something is wrong with you? Outside of your EoE, that is? You do know it would be healthier to eat a bit more, it just hurts enough that you just don't want to. Maybe your poor diet has caused other problems...

You are knocked out of your thoughts by the sudden realization that Harvey is taking quite a while to listen to your heart and lungs. He hasn't even moved the stethoscope to another part of your chest or to your back, yet, like he usually does. You look around the room, feeling awkward, before you get a brief look at Harvey's face. His expression seems to be one that is completely zoned out, almost like he is distracted by something. He notices you looking at him, however, and snaps out of it. He quickly continues the check-up, saying "Let's... Let's go on to something else..."

He then takes your temperature, your height, your weight, and checks your ears. He takes out a clipboard, before asking some questions. "How has the medication been going?" "Has your breathing been okay?" "Do you have any concerns about your health?" You answer each as best as you can.

You grow even more concerned than you already are as Harvey looks down to the clipboard, an odd expression on his face. Then, he looks up to you, saying "Would it be alright if I voice some concerns I have? I don't want to alarm you, but I feel it is important that you know about them." You feel yourself tense up, but nod slowly. If your doctor is concerned, you want to know what it is about.

Harvey places the clipboard down, saying "I know that you can live a healthy, fulfilling life. So, please, don't take this the wrong way. I am just... concerned about your career choice of being a farmer. As far as I am aware, you went from a desk job at Joja, which required low physical effort, immediately to a highly taxing job on a farm with no help at all. With your poor diet, you don't seem to have that much energy... You have mentioned how you neglect eating in the morning sometimes..." He then picks up the clipboard again, pointing at it, continuing his explanation "The results of your vital signs show that your blood pressure is low today, as it was the last time you were here, which was only a week ago. For the past three check-ups you have claimed that you feel tired."

You tilt your head, wondering where he is going with this. He sighs, shaking his head "I am not necessarily concerned with your decision of being a farmer in general. I am sure that you will be a very successful farmer, in fact, and I want you to follow that dream! I am mostly concerned with just how fast you are going about it. You went from Joja to farming with little to no time in-between to become more physically fit, care for your health conditions that might be impacted by farming, and to just... ease into this new environment. You have said it yourself during other appointments with me. Due to your poor eating and various food allergies, you do not have enough energy to go to the gym or exercise in general. Farming requires a lot of fitness, with the harvesting of plants, working of the land, cutting down the trees and pulling the weeds... your seasonal allergies can also worsen your EoE. The pollen from your plants might worsen it, too...."

You begin to understand what he is saying. You remember the numerous times you have passed out while working late into the night to make up for your slow work. The allergy medications you have been taking haven't been working as well as when you were in Zuzu City, too, which might mean that there is a different allergen in the area of Pelican Town that you are allergic to. You ask "Well... What do you want me to do? Quit?"

His eyes widen, before he frantically shakes his head. "No! No, no, no! I was just wondering if, maybe, you could get some help for a few months? Just until you into better shape. Like, someone can come onto the farm to help you with the tasks. That way, you don't have to expend as much energy, and have more energy to go out and do... Not farm things? Like, going to the store, socializing, going on casual walks... That sort of stuff! Then, once you feel comfortable enough to go back to working on your own, you can go back to doing that." You shrug, asking "Who would help me out? I don't have enough money to pay anyone-" "I'd help you on the farm. For free."

Your eyes widen in shock, surprised from the sudden, and rather excited offer. You are about to reject his offer, saying that he has enough work at the clinic as it is. He may not have time to help you, or he may overwork himself... but, then, you see the oddest look in his eyes. He looks like he has been wanting to offer his help for a while. His eyes look like they are beaming with joy, his smile splitting from ear to ear, and his hands clasped together in front of his chest. You decide that it might just be best to go along with his suggestion. You have a feeling he won't take no for an answer.

You put on a weary smile, nodding your head. "Sure... how about you help me out after 3 P.M.? That way, it won't get in the way of your work." He happily nods his head, chuckling "Of course! I would love to! I have a feeling things will go great! Just don't be too harsh if I get things wrong. I am a doctor, not a farmer, after all!"

#stardew valley #yandere stardew valley #stardew valley harvey #harvey stardew valley #doctor harvey

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lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie · 6 months ago

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He Loves Me, He Lied To Me

Summary: Or Roman made the mistake of falling for Janus in the courtroom and suffers for it after the wedding. It doesn’t help that Janus is trying to get him back after the pain he caused.

Pairings: One-Sided/Unrequited Roceit

WARNINGS: HURT NO COMFORT (pls let me know if I need to add more warnings)

(A/N: I found another slightly old fic I posted on ao3. This one scream self-projection as I rage at my ex. But hey, it's great angsty fanfic fuel so yay?)

Taglist: @enigmasalad @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @part-time-zombie

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When it comes to love, Roman wanted it all. As the Ego, he needs it to survive and thrive. After all, an ego is kept healthy with positive reinforcement. As the prince of romance, he loves the rush that love gives him no matter the source. He’s found love in comforting places and strange places.

He’s found it in Patton’s warm cookies and milk, Logan’s story time, bantering with Virgil, and creating alongside Thomas. Recently, he’s found love in the rare moments where he and Remus just hang out and bond like normal brothers.

Then along came the courtroom and the wedding. Along came Janus in his handsome suit, wearing a sly smirk. Roman instantly found love in his little praises and wanted more. They felt so warm and nice that he’d forgotten about Janus�� function while they were in the courtroom. He ended up flirting with him and bantering, flustering at all his words. He really thought the snake side wasn’t all that bad.

Roman still remembers seeing Janus after court and letting him in. The others had said not to talk to him but he was curious. So, he caught Janus that night and they ended up sneaking away to the Imagination where they talked and laugh. They spent the whole night chatting away, sharing secrets and letting their guards fall. Roman had found himself letting the snake in, thinking he’d be the one to love him forever.

It felt nice, having Janus in his corner. Janus had comforted him when he admitted he wanted the callback more than anything but wanted to do right in Patton’s eyes. They wound up having a deep conversation about it. Roman found himself soothed by it. Assured that he was safe with him and he had someone to fall back to.

They would end up meeting again and again at the Imagination, strolling through the forest in the evening and chatting until the sun came up. It was a routine that they easily fell into, waiting for each other just outside the trees. Roman loved every second of it. He would treasure every single night that they talked. Every story and tale. Every playful ‘I love you’ and every comforting word. Every single promise of ‘Maybe one day’ and ‘Someday’ that they made together. Roman had never felt such a wild rush of love like this from Janus.

But sometimes Janus was late or didn’t show up. He would apologize when he did show up, always saying he was busy or had forgotten. Roman tried not to be upset about it but sometimes he couldn’t help but feel like he was literally being ghosted. Still, Roman gave Janus as many second chances he needed. Janus was trying his best after all and he probably had his own struggles. Roman knows he himself has his own problems. It didn’t mean he felt a little hurt when Janus wouldn’t show up or would be late. Roman would also feel a little jealous when Janus would tell him he was with Patton. Obviously, he can’t control what Janus does but it doesn’t stop him from feeling hurt.

Roman still loved Janus though despite him showing up less and less. Even as their conversations grew shorter and shorter, Roman fought to keep him close. He hung onto every word Janus said and looked for things to do so he would stay just a little longer. He would beg Janus to tell him more stories or just about his day. Janus would just go along with it, telling him sweet nothings and making promises of never leaving the prince.

Then one day, Janus didn’t show up again. Roman waited and he never showed up. When Roman returned to the forest the next day and waited, there was still no Janus. Roman then waited another day before deciding Janus must be really busy. When he came back to the forest at the end of the week, Janus was there with an apology. They didn’t stroll that day, merely exchanging quick words before Janus left much to Roman’s disappointment.

It hurt Roman to see Janus drifting away. He wondered what he did wrong. He knew Janus worried about letting people in and he’d constantly reassure the deceitful side that he’d never leave him and that he was always here but Janus didn’t seem to believe that. So, Roman kept trying to remind him. Roman wondered if he didn’t do that enough. He wondered if he was ever good enough for Janus. Janus had always said that he was the only side he could speak to other than Remus but Roman has caught glimpses of Janus interacting with the others. There’s nothing bad about that but it hurt after what Janus told him.

Then came the wedding of Lee and Mary Lee.

Roman didn’t want this but he couldn’t make Thomas look like a bad person. He himself didn’t want to look selfish. He had given up the one thing he desperately wanted. After the wedding, things weren’t any better. Roman had learned Janus’ name and laughed, thinking he wouldn’t mind some banter. It’s what they do, right?

Wrong.

In return, Janus compared him to his twin. To Remus. It stung and felt like a betrayal. It didn’t help that Janus confirmed that Thomas was lying about Roman being his hero. Roman had sunk out after all of that, no longer wanting love anymore. It had all been a lie. Janus lied to him, and it hurts so bad because Roman had truly loved him.

This is how Roman found himself in the forest all alone during the dead of night. It’s dead silent that not even the crickets and cicadas were performing their usual evening symphony. The rustling trees and the whispering wind occasionally break that silence. Other than that, the forest feels empty tonight. Almost lonely. Roman knows how that feels as he trudges through the trees. It’s sad how Roman’s grown used to being on his own here each night. What’s another silent, lonely evening?

Soon, Roman reaches the clearing in the center of the forest. This is where he and Janus used to meet each night to talk or enjoy each other’s company until dawn. And now, it just seems much lonelier than the dark forest. Sighing, Roman sits down on a nearby log bench and stares up into the void of the night sky. His heart aches as he remembers when he and Janus would stargaze together.

Roman sits there and waits. He’s not even sure why he’s waiting again. Janus didn’t show up the last few times before so why would he now? And even if he did, he probably wouldn’t stick around. Still, Roman’s foolish little heart is stubbornly hopeful, so he stays just a little longer.

Roman ends up staying until midnight, laying on the log and wondering if Janus ever even loved-

“Roman?”

After so many painful nights of nothing, Janus finally steps into the clearing.

Roman merely turns his head before going back to stargazing.

“Oh. Now you decide to remember I exist, Janus.” he mutters. “Sometimes I wonder if I still even mean anything to you…”

Janus sighs and sits on the grass by Roman.

“I’m sorry, Roman. I had things to attend to. Plus it’s been a rough few weeks for all of us.” he replies.

Roman looks over at Janus.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” he sits up, “I’m tired of this, Janus. I’m tired of wondering if you’re even going to be here each night. I’m tired of being left to wait and being given the same old flimsy excuses.”

Janus fiddles with his glove. He knows he’s guilty of hurting Roman and will never know how far he did.

“Believe me, I tried to be here but…”

Roman roll his eyes and crosses his arms.

“But what? You were busy again? You didn’t feel like it today? You had too much going on in your head? Janus, make up your mind. Or at the least, come up with a more believable excuse. You’re slipping, Deceit.” he spits, starting to walk away.

Janus follows after him.

“Please understand, Roman. I want to be here for you. I care about you.” Roman ignores him and keeps walking.

“Do you? I’ve tried my best to be patient and understanding. Thomas knows I’ve got a lot of things going on up in my own head.” the prince huffs before looking over his shoulder at Janus, eyes shining with unshed tears. “But I put it all aside for you, Janus. I did everything to make sure you knew I wouldn’t turn away from you or reject you.”

Roman pauses and swallows.

“But it wasn’t enough, was it? I was never enough.”

He then continues walking.

Janus follows again, shame weighing him down.

“You were more than enough. I failed to see that. Let me make it up to you. Please.”

Roman scoffs.

“I gave you every chance to do that. I waited here every damn night until the sun came up. I tried to get you to stay but you left when you had the chance. You made your choice and clearly it wasn’t me.”

Janus yanks a glove off.

“It’s you, Roman!” he cries. “My choice is you!”

Roman whips around.

“What?”

Janus holds his right hand up, head down in shame.

“I…I’ve always been in love with you. Ever since we left that courtroom. I knew I wanted you but after I hurt so many others…I wasn’t sure if I was ready to try again. You are so wonderful and I couldn’t bring myself to ruin what we already that. I didn’t want to lose us. That’s why sometimes I couldn’t bring myself to be here. Especially after the wedding. I’m so sorry if I ever hurt you—”

SMACK!

Roman’s anger had boiled over and he slapped the human side of the snake’s face.

“How could you say that?! Did you really think that I would just change my mind?!” he seethes. “You hurt me, Janus…I don’t want your love anymore. Not when it only means a lie.”

“Roman, please…”

Roman shakes his head, the tears finally spilling down his cheeks.

“Once upon a time I would have felt the same but the moment you decided I was nothing and I no longer mattered to you…” he sniffles, “…I stopped loving you. I wasn’t what you wanted anyways.”

“But you are, Roman.” Janus replies, going over to him and reaching out. “I do care for you.”

Roman shakes his head again, hands up as he backs away from Janus.

“Don’t.” he sighs. “Just don’t. No more lies or empty promises. And don’t try to fight for us now when you caused us to fall apart. If you want to leave me so bad then go.”

It’s sad how Roman’s used to people leaving him once they’ve used him. It used to hurt but now he’s just…disappointed. He really thought Janus would be the one to make him feel loved again. All he feels now is betrayed, his trust in Janus practically non-existent.

Roman sniffs again and turns away. “Besides…who would want the evil twin?”

“Roman, I didn’t mean to—”

Roman starts walking away again.

“Save it!” he growls. “You’ve done your damage already and you can’t undo it. You can’t have my forgiveness. You hurt me too much.”He trembles and chokes out a sob.

“You lied to me, Janus. Just like you were supposed to do, right? I hope you’re happy.”

Roman then vanishes into the darkness of the forest and Janus is left with the dead silence.

Janus can only stand there and think about what he’d done. He hurt Roman. He foolishly believed it would be easy to make up for leaving Roman but he only made things worse. So he lost him. He lost the one person who saw him past the snake that he’ll always be.

Meanwhile, Roman returns and he screams.

Roman screams in agony and sobs, still angry at himself for falling in love with a liar. Angry that he even trusted the snake. Angry that he let himself be vulnerable. Angry that he even believed they would fulfill the promises they made. He screams until he can’t and falls asleep in bed, hoping that someone would save him from his pain. Maybe once he’d hope for Janus’ comfort, but he doesn’t want that anymore. That’s okay. He’s used to being alone. So, Roman spends another night alone, not ever hearing his door creak open.

“Hey, Princey. Are you okay?”

#sanders sides fic #ts fanfiction #roman sanders #janus sanders #roceit #roceit angst #unrequited roceit #hurt no comfort

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mikuni14 · 1 year ago

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Sing My Crush

I binged Sing My Crush and absolutely loved the series. I liked practically everything, from the main and side characters, the interesting and innovative type of the villain and the conflict he created, the fact that the "11th episode drama" has its mostly external causes, that one of the ML falls in love twice and it's treated completely normally, that the story is interesting and well narrated, both MLs are equally likable and I was cheering for both of them, there was no separation at the end, which I totally expected, all problems were solved practically right away.

What I also liked is how both MLs reflect the "cat and dog energy", but in a way that is not irritating. I especially mean how typical a "puppy-golden retriever" is Im Han Tae. But he is the way I like, that is, this "dog" energy gives him only good features, i.e. absolute loyalty, optimism, willingness to help, the need to save and to care for other people, sincere and bubbly personality. And what's especially important to me about the "puppy/sunshine" personality type, which the series NOTORIOUSLY fail to do right, is that these characters sometimes come off "stupid", BUT THEY ARE NOT STUPID. It's just that someone else is taking advantage of their good nature and good intentions, and their belief in the goodness and good intentions of other people, or that they're being caught off-guard and need time to think.

Unfortunately, many shows create scenes for characters like this, often intended to be comedic, that "puppy" literally behaves stupid, or like a pre-pubescent boy in a man's body, and in some extreme cases like someone who, sorry to write this, appears to have some intellectual and developmental disabilities. The perfect example of this type of character for me was this guy from Love Tractor, which made me unable to finish the show because I felt so bad watching this 20 year old man act like he was raised in the jungle, who doesn't understand what's going on with him and his body and is completely freaking out. To me, mentally he was literally a child, I felt sick watching him as a love interest of a grown man.

Being child-like is ok when it is part of a personality that is open, trusting, cheerful, eager to explore the world, and curious. Being child-like as a mental level of an adult person is not ok, to me it's just creepy.

When I started watching Sing My Crush and I saw Im Han Tae I thought oh boy, here we go again, another man-child. And you don't know how happy I am that I was wrong. Im Han Tae has all the best features of the golden retriever personality type and is also smart and acts like a guy his age. Unlike many characters of his type in movies and series, he never runs away from his feelings, he confronts them and confronts Han Ba Ram, and when he needs time to think, he doesn't spend it avoiding and hurting in the process his love interest, or feeling sorry for himself and freaking out, but actually thinks the situation through . Like an adult. And he always, ALWAYS, tries his best not to hurt Han Ba Ram, even when he's angry with him.

Similarly, Han Ba Ram, who is portrayed as a typical "cute" and withdrawn character with "cat" energy, is not stereotypical, but also smart, has his own life outside of the romance, his own worries and desires that he doesn't want to "burden" other people with and is a good person who worries about others, and definitely tends to be self-sacrificing. And yes, he's incredibly cute and cries prettily (I thought I'd die and just turn into a puddle of goo when he started crying after boxing class 🥺🥺) and he's soooo adorable and I'd do anything for him (as well as Han Tae who is such a great character).

Ok, I will stop here, because of the chaos of my thoughts regarding this series. Unfortunately I binged the series with only one break, instead of writing my thoughts after each episode, which is the best way not to miss and organize all my reflections about the series 😉 Anyway, I highly recommend this series, I don't think there are any major, or even minor flaws (ok, maybe too much music, but the title says it all, also the singer's voice is really nice). Wow, this year Korea is spoiling me, this is the third series that I like so much 🤩

#sing my crush #korean bl #bl drama

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andro-dino · 8 months ago

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May I either hear more about the KyoHyoTsu madness, Sakyo’s dad and mom hcs, or mayhaps a little of the hopeless romantic DSS?? >>:3333

AUGH THREE BULLETS IMMEDIATELY STRAIGHT TO THE HEART YES

kyohyotsu. augh i missed them so bad. another comic idea that I’ve had for a while that I don’t think I’ll ever get around to drawing is the three of them going for a walk, and Hyoma gets cold, and immediately the other two wanna give him a jacket but they realize three very important things very immediately

1. Kyoya’s jackets are sleeveless

2. Tsubasa doesn’t even wear a jacket in the first place

3. Really, Hyoma’s dressed the warmest out of the three of them

and they scramble. both of them are so disappointed in themselves as partners. ultimately they just settle on the double arm around the shoulder. Hyoma is 100% okay with this solution.

Also @ ur tags on my last post of them,,, we’ve already established that kyoya smells like dirt (/pos) to both Tsubasa and Hyoma. To Tsubasa, Hyoma mostly smells like fresh air and occasionally clean laundry. Kyoya thinks Tsubasa smells like lavender, but he can’t quite place what Hyoma’s scent reminds him of. It bothers him. He’s forced to bury his face into Hyoma’s shoulder occasionally to try and figure it out but he can never get it. This is also an arrangement Hyoma is 100% fine with

Bit of a hurt/comf one that is mostly kinda me projecting, but Hyoma very frequently gets waves of random sadness and a lot of the times when this gets bad, he gets really bad at communicating verbally, but also requires more attention. I think they have their own little way of going about it but usually this results in the other two cuddling and reassuring him when he needs it. It doesn’t make it go away completely but it helps and Hyoma appreciates it.

Tobio and dss,,,,, man I haven’t thought about them in ages either I miss them too!!!! Tobio is a character I love so dearly I love him so much. Him being a hopeless romantic is an idea I love so much but it’s even better when you pair it with his super cool guy persona. and I mean it’s barely even a persona bc he’s actually just kinda awesome and I love that for him. but like, he’s so flashy and charismatic and has this air of mystique to him all the time, and just imagine that contrasted with him being the biggest lover boy of all time. it’s great I truly do adore it. I can imagine it causing some hijinks as well because I like to think of both Tetsuya and ryutaro on the aroace spectrum and while they’re not completely without romantic attraction, it’s also not something that they’re entirely familiar with or know how to go about dealing with, so that paired with ultra romantic Tobio is just very silly. I imagine sometimes he gets a little overexcited when it comes to romance and tends to move a little too fast at times and has to physically hold himself back so as to not push the others too far. It’s not something he minds, just that he needs to adjust to properly. The others, for their part, I think both admire Tobio in their own ways. Ryutaro is very fond of him as a whole and appreciates having someone else who can share the braincell from time to time, and Tetsuya is totally enamored by how cool he is. Tetsuya and Tobio are definitely my fav individual duo between all of them (the movie definitely contributed to this) and I just think the idea of Tetsuya genuinely admiring Tobio and thinking he’s really cool but never fully expressing that is so sweet. Tetsuya tends to be very goofy a lot of the times but I think tobio’s presence inspires him to muster on his more genuine, affectionate feelings a lot more and I just really enjoy that dynamic. The three of them are all so silly and different but it’s in such a way that I really do think that they’re all just kind of perfect for each other and I really love that about them.

AND OH BOY. RYOMA AND VICTORIA KURAYAMI MY BELOVEDS.

I don’t know how much I’ll go into about them because recently I mentioned in a server wanting to write a full kurayami family lore doc and honestly I think I might actually get to that soon but like god there’s so much.

I do feel a bit bad because of the two of them, I think I’ve developed Victoria a little less than Ryoma just bc most of the thoughts I’ve had about them center around the dragon clan specifically and the themes they present but ourghh. ourgh. I’ll save the angstier stuff for the lore doc I think.

The two of them met as young adults. Victoria was a prolific blader and adventurer, constantly in search of new horizons and stronger opponents, yk pretty typical blader stuff. She’s a very vibrant character and very friendly, though always preferred to travel on her own. She enjoys taking in a lot of different scenery and exploring and learning as much as she can about every new place she comes by. A lot of the connections she makes on her travels are temporary, and she’s okay with that. She journals a lot so she never forgets anywhere she’s been or anyone she’s met there.

Ryoma meanwhile was one of the very few living members of the dragon clan, and those guys have never been all too familial in the first place. I’ve been thinking about his specific relations to Ryuga and Ryuto recently, as of right now I’m settling on the three of them being cousins. He was never close with them, both with him being a fair bit older than them and all of them being very independent individuals. Ryoma I think more than most other dragon clan members tended to stay pretty close to home, not really having any certain path he wanted to follow besides the general ideas of being as strong as possible and taking down strong opponents that were generally upheld by the dragon clan.

Their first meeting was on a volcanic mountain top. Dragon clan members are naturally drawn to volcanic areas, so Ryoma was just wandering a little further from home than usual, mostly just trying to clear his head. Victoria was traveling Japan at the time, again just taking in the scenery, enjoying a little bit of danger, when their paths crossed. The way I’ve pictured it in my head, I’ve described as very similar to Sakyo and Shinobu’s first battle. They lock eyes and almost immediately recognize each other as bladers both understanding that they’re about to battle. The battle itself I still haven’t decided concretely on the results of but the important take away is that they’re evenly matched, and both of them leave it very fascinated with each other. Ryoma is still very gruff and closed off at the time, so rather than lingering for long, turns to walk away. Victoria asks if she’ll meet him again, and Ryoma assures that she will.

And lo and behold, she does. They meet and battle several more times after that. At first, Ryoma thinks that maybe this is the destiny he was meant to follow, that she is his ultimate rival that he was destined to defeat/surpass, but gradually, the more they battle, the more they learn about each other as well. And eventually, it’s Victoria who first suggests that the two just. Talk. Hang out a bit. And they do. And it’s foreign to Ryoma. He’s not used to casual dynamics. He’s not used to feeling comfortable with someone else. But Victoria’s been steadily chipping at his walls and he’s welcoming this. For Victoria’s part, this is the most attached she’s ever been to anyone she’s met while traveling, but something about Ryoma keeps drawing her back in.

Ryoma doesnt disclose much about himself or the clan specifically, but as they do start becoming closer, and eventually falling in love, he does let her in on a little bit about his family being overbearing and disapproving of their relationship. Victoria doesn’t fully understand the extent of this and gives the best advice she can, and eventually, Ryoma ends up gaining the confidence to fully run away with her. It’s the most free he’s ever felt and it’s the first major step into allowing himself to become more of a person.

Their domestic life together is very comfortable. It has its bumps, especially at the end, but for what there is, it’s the best thing either of them have had in their lives. Both of them work together to take care of themselves and each other more, which is what eventually leads up to them having Sakyo. Ryoma loves him more than anything in the world, and is so relieved that he can give his son a better upbringing he had without the same expectations of the dragon clan (dramatic irony and all that haha). Both him and Victoria are such loving, hardworking parents who truly wish nothing more than to give their son the world.

I’ve already said a lot and it’s hard to go further from here without getting angsty ahshshd. I will say, in the manga-compliant version, Victoria, still alive, is very proud of her son and heavily encourages him to pursue both ballet and beyblade. She sees a lot of her younger self in him and holds great faith that in letting him go off on his own (with takanosuke)(I’m very quickly making childhood friend hcs about manga takasakyo bc there’s nothing stopping me now), he’ll be able to build similar strong, important connections as well.

IM REALLY WRITING TOO MUCH AND I PROMISE IM GONNA WRAP IT UP SOON but the one other thing I wanted to mention is that I do have a slightly less angsty au for Victoria and Ryoma where they meet as teens instead of adults. In this version, I think Victoria is able to more quickly get Ryoma to open up and break away from the dragon clan before their toxic ideals get fully ingrained into him, and it gives him more of an opportunity to be a kid and be able to enjoy his life more and I just think it’s very sweet and comforting. here’s some doods I’ve made of them bc I love them <3

#axel’s silly little thoughts #mfb oc #can you tell I’m insane #I really need to write that lore doc now oh my lord #thank you for the ask I hope you enjoyed my insanity <3 #ryoma kurayami #victoria kurayami

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