#okay but what about catchy hashtag?

[dustymcloud]

This post found me at a rather serendipitous point this evening. I scheduled in my menty b, and it the part OP mentioned the growing divide between creators and consumers of content. I ave always wanted to be able to contribute something back to tumblr… in part because I think I a very much a consumer, but since has lost is zeal somewhat, tumblr and in Pinterest are providing me with a lot more inspiration,but I digress. Ask culture was and is something that is exclusive to tumblr, and I think perhaps it was a way of growing organic and engaging communities. As mentioned earlier it did away with the dichotomous and hierarchical role within this socially implied relationship you have with another.

For me anytime I got an ask, it was the best feeling ever, (bearing in mind I’ve been on here off for about 10 years now I ever only received less than ten).but that red dot on your dash, instant serotonin. And it occurred to me when pondering ask that ultimately a lot of the reason could be because I never gave them anything to ask about. I was and have very much been a reblogger, and I forget to add tags, and I’m more of a general blog than a niche one. So tomorrow if I sleep, and tonight if I don’t, I’ll put together a list of quick topics I post about, and what I’m up too and stuff.

This all plays into my social ineptitude that’s I’ve been exploring recently in my “therapy” sessions, so perhaps this could be a good start…

You know, an interesting tumblr transformation that's happened gradually, and which I've seen no one talk about: ask-culture has essentially dropped off to nothing.

By which I mean, asks used to be WAY more of the tumblr economy. They used to be more common to send, and receive, and see. They were integral to the collaborative, forum-like behavior of old tumblr communities, not even to speak on the HUGE number of ask-blogs that used to exist to only be interacted with in ask-form.

I'm not saying this in a vying-for-attention way but instead in an observational way: I used to get way way more asks in like 2015, even with a fraction of my follower count. I wonder if it's due to the homogenization of social media sites? There's a lot more of this divide between "content creator" and "consumer" instead of just a bunch of peer blogs who would talk to each other. "Asks" aren't really a thing on twitter, are they? And as I understand it, the closest thing to an "ask" on instagram or tiktok would be a creator screenshotting some comment and responding to it in a new reel or video or whatever those content mediums are. Are asks just too tumblr-specific? Is that aspect of the site culture dying out as more and more people converge to using all their social media sites in the same way?

[luxlisbons]

Voulez-Vous? - part i

Mencken's ego takes a hit when Harriet's eye wanders to the newly elected French president. In response, he engineers a grand state dinner, turning diplomatic affairs into a battlefield of jealousy.

part of the "before there's hell to pay" universe: part i - part ii - part iii

pairing: jeryd mencken x original female character. 4k

warnings: affairs, unhealthy relationships, dubious morality, explicit language, age difference, smut, religious imagery & symbolism, unprotected sex, pov first person, the french

a/n: lmao so... this idea came to be thanks to @rxgirlie and i's obsession with a current french actor known for playing a lawyer in a film (iykyk), so picture him as marcel reynaud (who will make his appearance in the second part). thank you so much to Kels and my friend Lu @nyheartbreak for proofreading and encouraging me to post this.

Read on AO3.

It all started with an online poll. The Buzzfeed type of crap you read while waiting for the clock to strike 5 pm in your crummy little open space office. 

“The definitive list of the 10 hottest presidents”

Usually, despite his very alienating politics, Mencken would place number one. What can I say? Everyone loves a bad boy, especially one they can fix with sex. Attention was brought to his steely gaze, the danger and confidence he exuded in his speeches, and his past as a 90s rock band member:

“Okay but 90s Mencken??? Twink goals, honestly😍”

“Mencken got me like 😱🔥”

“I never thought I'd say this, but Jeryd Mencken, you're kinda hot 😅 “

“He is such a silver fox zaddy 🦊”

His unofficial title became “Silver Fox in Chief”, and it gave us tabloid fodder for when we wanted to deflect from his racist dog whistles and controversial actions in D.C., which was a lot of the time for very obvious reasons. We were like puppet masters pulling the strings, orchestrating this wild media circus around Mencken. It was a classic ATN move, redirecting attention from the messy stuff and instead shining the spotlight on Mencken's supposed charm.

We brainstormed catchy hashtags and encouraged people to share their favorite Mencken moments online. It was all about creating a narrative that suited our agenda – making him this irresistible figure, a distraction from the serious issues at hand. We knew how to play the game, and damn, did it work. The internet ate it up, and suddenly, Mencken was not just a president; he was a phenomenon.

The internet had found a new obsession; fancams flooded the internet– from the way he adjusted his tie to the subtle glances he threw at the camera during press conferences. TikTok became a breeding ground for creative edits, with old concert footage seamlessly synchronized to modern pop hits, each video racking up millions of views and fueling the ever-growing fandom. 

Twitter experienced a constant Mencken presence. Anytime the president made a public appearance or donned a new suit, his name would surge to the top of trending lists. The online obsession transcended political boundaries; even those who vehemently disagreed with Mencken's policies found themselves unable to resist his allure.

His press conferences were now attended not just by political journalists but also by entertainment reporters eager to capture the latest juicy details about the "hottest president" phenomenon. Mencken, bemused and enjoying the attention, tried to redirect the conversation to policy matters, while also stoking the fires with quips and acknowledgments of his sex symbol status.

His fanbase (which consisted of both ironic and genuine fans) even created a nickname for themselves: the “Mencken Fuckers”. They organized themselves into a formidable online community. They created fan art, fan fiction, and even fan-made music videos that further propelled the president into pop culture stardom. The group's ironic name didn't deter their dedication; they wore it as a badge of honor, unapologetically reveling in their unconventional admiration for the leader of the free world.

One such video caught my undivided attention while doomscrolling through TikTok late at night. It was one created with candid moments in which I appeared beside him, laughing and talking with Lana Del Rey’s song “Let The Light In” playing in the background. The chemistry between the both of us, set against the dreamy soundtrack, fueled speculation and excitement among the Mencken Fuckers. It both amused and mortified me how close to the actual truth they were.

Caption: "Is it just me, or are these two looking like the ultimate power duo? 👀💼💫 #CloseEncounters #PoliticalChemistry"

Comments:

1. @ShipperSupreme: Move over romance novels, this is the love story we didn't know we needed! 😂❤️

2. @CuriousMinds: Are we witnessing the birth of a new power couple? 👫💫

3. @LaughingWithLana: Lana Del Rey's song just makes this whole thing even more iconic! 🎶🔥

4. @Daydreamer_Deluxe: I ship it! 😍💘 Who needs reality when we can have this fantasy?

5. @RealityCheck: Wait, are we calling them #Menkenriet or #Harren now? 🤔

6. @CupidInTheComments: My arrows of love have found a new target! 💘🏹

7. @PoliticalLoveAffairs: Move aside, political drama; we're here for the romance! 🇺🇸❤️

I couldn’t help myself, I sent the link to Mencken, who after some technical wrangling on his part “I’m 54, of course I’m not gonna have Tik Tok installed for fuck’s sake” finally saw it.

The ringing of the phone cut through the silence of my empty apartment, startling General Meow from her nap and sending her scurrying toward the living room. I sighed, muttering to myself about the timing, and picked up after the first ring, feeling like a good little lap dog.

"Hey there, Mencken," I greeted, smirking to myself as I imagined his perplexed expression on the other end. "Ready for a little adventure in the world of internet?"

Mencken's voice echoed through the line, confusion lacing every word, "Harriet, what in the hell is going on? Why are people shipping us? Are we supposed to be getting something delivered?"

Suppressing a laugh, I explained, "No, Mencken, it's not about deliveries. It's a term they use on the internet when people want two characters or real people to be in a romantic relationship. They call it 'shipping.'"

There was a brief pause before Mencken asked incredulously, "Shipping? Like cargo and ships?"

I chuckled, covering my mouth to stifle the laughter. "Not quite. It's short for 'relationship.' They think we're the ultimate power couple, Mencken."

"Is this some kind of secret code or a new political term I missed in my briefings?" Mencken's confusion was palpable.

I couldn't help but tease, "No secret code, just internet slang. They're imagining us as this influential and glamorous duo."

Another pause, then Mencken's voice returned, this time more incredulous, "You're telling me there are people out there who think we're having an affair? With each other?"

"Yep, that's the gist of it. Welcome to the world of shipping, Mencken. It's a strange place," I replied, my grin growing wider. “And they've even given us a ship name – #Menckenriet. Catchy, right?" I couldn't help but enjoy the absurdity of it all.

Mencken sighed on the other end, probably shaking his head, "I can't believe this is happening."

"Embrace the fame, Mencken! Who knows, maybe we'll start a new trend in political shipping," I teased, still grinning.

There was a long-suffering sigh from Mencken. "I don't have time for this nonsense. I have a country to run."

"Your loss, Mencken. #Menckenriet could've been the political love story of the century," I quipped. 

As I prepared to hang up, he interjected with a serious tone, "Wait, do they actually know about us... you know, being intimate?"

My playful demeanor faltered for a moment. "No, Mencken. It's just speculation and fantasy. They don't know anything for sure."

Mencken sounded relieved, "Good. Let's keep it that way."

But before I could end the call, he added in a soft voice, "Clear up your schedule. I'm gonna drop by during the weekend." 

Since Rome, Mencken's hard veneer had chipped away. He made more time for me, wasn't as mean – well, still an asshole, but, as he put it, "Your asshole, sweetheart.” 

“Well, aren't you so romantic,” I mused mostly to myself, a wry smile playing on my lips.

“Yeah, well, I figured life's too short to be a constant jerk. Besides, dealing with you is marginally less irritating than dealing with most people," I couldn't suppress a laugh. High praise, indeed. Looking forward to the weekend then.

As the call concluded, I imagined Mencken shaking his head and muttering, "I'm too old for this." I let out a loud hyena cackle which leaves General Meow staring at me with her wide green eyes.

______________________________________________________________

And then the French presidential election happened. 

It was a tight race between three players, each one from a widely different part of the political spectrum. On one hand, the far-right candidate, the heiress of the National Rally, Marine Le Pen, was Mencken's pick. On the other hand, the incumbent President, Emmanuel Macron, stood as a centrist, aiming to maintain stability and balance in turbulent times. The third contender, Marcel Reynaud, a charismatic socialist from the left, caught the attention of many with his passionate speeches and a boyish yet distinguished appearance, with graying hair that hinted at wisdom beyond his years, reminiscent of a Dostoevsky prince.

As the campaign unfolded, Marcel Reynaud's popularity soared. His fiery rhetoric and genuine connection with the people resonated across various demographics. The public, weary of the traditional political dichotomy, found in him a fresh and appealing alternative. The French, tired of voting for the lesser of two evils, began to rally behind Reynaud, drawn by the promise of a new era and genuine change.

Reynaud's physical presence added an extra layer to his appeal. Imagine a man with rugged charm, grey tousled hair that hinted at rebelliousness, and piercing blue eyes that conveyed both intensity and empathy. His speeches, delivered with conviction, echoed a vision of a more inclusive and socially just France.

Election day arrived, and the people of France turned out in record numbers. The results trickled in, each update intensifying the suspense. When the final count was announced, it was Marcel Reynaud who emerged as the victor. The socialist left candidate had secured a historic win, breaking the stronghold of the traditional political forces.

As the news of his victory spread, so did the memes, fan art, and adoring posts dedicated to Marcel Reynaud. Internet users affectionately dubbed him the "French boyfriend," and hashtags like #ReynaudRevolution and #MarcelMania trended worldwide. He quickly dethroned Mencken as the hottest president online, captivating not just the French public but garnering attention on the global stage.

The internet was flooded with swooning comments about Reynaud's “elf” vibes, and fan accounts dedicated to his every move and policy decision multiplied. Memes comparing him to heroes from literature circulated, portraying him as the embodiment of a modern-day romantic lead. His charisma had transcended politics; he had become a symbol of a new era, both politically and personally.

______________________________________________________________

Mencken was not impressed. Despite being in his mid 50s, he still was a petty child underneath it all, mad about the spotlight being taken off him and given to a soy boy from France of all places. 

The ping of random texts, accompanied by a distinctive ringtone reserved exclusively for him, never failed to jolt me with a thrill, whether I was immersed in work or drifting off to sleep – a Pavlovian response he found pathetically endearing.

M "Just saw another damn article about Marcel Reynaud. 🙄 Apparently, he's the new poster boy for socialism. What a load of crap."

H: "Oh, Mencken, you're just jealous that Reynaud's stealing the limelight. 😏” 

M: "Another day, another interview with Reynaud. 📰 Can't escape the guy. Do you think he practices that brooding stare in the mirror?"

H: "Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's political strategy. 🤷🏻‍♀️"

M: "Thoughts on Marcel's new hairstyle? 💇‍♂️ Trying to figure out if he's attempting a political rebrand or just desperately needs a barber."

H: "Maybe he's channeling the winds of change through his hair. 😂 At least he's keeping things interesting. You should try it sometime."

M: "Harriet, tell me you didn't fall for the hype. 🤨 The French might adore their 'heartthrob,' but I know you have better taste."

H: "Of course not, Mencken. I only have eyes for the 'old and grumpy' type. 😉 

To that last text he replied with a hilariously outdated “fuck yea” meme, highlighting how out of touch he could be sometimes.

______________________________________________________________

In one of our romantic getaways,  (if you can call secretly meeting in a pre-swept room with Secret Service agents hanging outside the door romantic) he once again brought up le problème. 

We had dinner from Dorsia’s to-go in my apartment, with General Meow eyeing our food from her own seat at the table. I tried to make conversation but Mencken's answers were clipped, a subtle giveaway that something was amiss. I took it all in stride, already accustomed to his mercurial moods. I knew that he was stressed about something and that once we fucked, he would relax and the tension would dissipate.

Wanting to make up for missing a couple of our dates, he takes me for a drive around the city in a sleek black car with tinted windows, a partition separating us from the chauffeur. The sound of muffled traffic and a bossa nova playlist was our soundtrack, as we furiously make out like teenagers on their way to prom. He’s quiet except for the sighs that escape his lips. I get needy and he likes it, petting me the same way he does my cat. The similarity does not escape me. His hands begin to go lower until they eventually find my hot center and he smiles against my mouth as he realises I’m not wearing panties. Mencken's voice, low and husky, breaks the silence as he whispers, "You always know how to keep things interesting, Harriet."

I respond with a teasing smile, my voice a breathless whisper, "Well, Mr. President, I aim to please."

His fingers continued their exploration, tracing patterns of fire on my clit. “Mr. President? You're playing a dangerous game," he murmured, his lips trailing hot kisses along my neck as he slips two fingers into me.

The combined sensation sends shivers down my spine. I cry out of pleasure and I am thankful for the soundproofed privacy the partition offers us. Eager to reciprocate, my hand instinctively moved toward his belt, but Mencken halted my advance with a gentle yet firm grip.

“Not here, better in the hotel room,” he whispered, his breath warm against my ear. The promise of what awaited us hung tantalizingly in the air.

Our destination was a high-rise hotel he had booked, soaring 68 floors into the city skyline. It was quintessentially Mencken, reveling in the sensation of being the most powerful man even during sex. The car eased into a lull inside the hotel's basement parking lot, providing a moment for me to compose myself while awaiting the Secret Service's assurance that the coast was clear.

Mencken eyes me mockingly. “You do realise they all know what we’re just doing in here and what we’re about to do in that room”.

I roll my eyes and reply, “A girl has to keep some secrets. Adds to the intrigue, doesn't it?"

He smirks, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Well, let them think what they want. It's not like we've ever been ones to play by the rules."

With a final nod from the Secret Service, Mencken opens the car door, ushering me out. The hotel's opulent lobby awaits us, and I can't help but feel a rush of excitement. The atmosphere is hushed, with the discreet professionalism one would expect in such an establishment.

He is rough, manhandling me immediately after we cross the threshold of the room. 

The door closes behind us, and the plush interior of the room envelops us in a cocoon. The dim lighting casts a sultry ambiance, amplifying the energy that crackles between us.

Mencken turns to face me, his eyes filled with a hunger that matches my own. With a swift move, he captures my lips in a kiss, his hands roaming possessively over my body. In the intimate space, he pins me against the door, a delicious urgency in his touch. His kisses travel from my lips down to the curve of my neck, igniting a cascade of shivers. The feeling lights me whole like a star. He grabs my hand and leads towards the floor to ceiling windows, the quiet city completely unaware of what is about to unfold. Mencken's eyes lock onto mine, a silent communication passing between us. With a heated intensity, he guides me onto my knees, the plush carpet beneath feeling cool against my skin. 

My hands find their way to his belt, fingers working deftly to release him. His cock is already half hard, forming a wet patch on his boxers. I pull them down to spring him free and my tongue reaches out in anticipation. In that moment, the world outside seems to fade away, leaving the two of us suspended in time. His fingers tangle in my hair, a silent encouragement to continue the exploration. As my lips inch closer to their destination, I can feel the heightened tension in the room. His arousal is palpable, the air charged intensity. I wet my mouth, preparing to take him in, and our eyes lock as my lips envelop him. A shiver runs through Mencken's body, and the room echoes with his moans of pleasure.

As the sensations escalate, Mencken's husky voice breaks the silence. "Harriet," he says, a blend of urgency and pleasure in his tone. I smile at him, as much as one can smile with a mouthful of cock. Yet, he knows—I look at him with such adoration as if I were in prayer and him my patron saint. The city outside may slumber in blissful ignorance, but within these four walls, I hold the most powerful man in the world in my grasp. 

I alternate between licking his length and kissing his tip, his skin flushing to a delicious shade of pink. “Adorable” is definitely not the best adjective to describe him, nevertheless it is the word that comes to your mind. Yes, this man who can be quite vicious and spew the most hateful vitriol can also exhibit a human side. In those rare moments when it's just the two of us, away from the public eye, I get a glimpse of a softer side that few get to witness. This only eggs me on, and I fasten my maneuvers until he can barely keep standing still. 

Just when I’m about to finish him off, he jolts me up and pushes me into the bed, covering me with his body, engulfing me. He stays still for a few seconds and places his wedding band covered hand protectively over my neck. He stares at me deeply and suddenly feeling self conscious I look away. 

"Harriet…” he murmurs, his voice a low rumble. His hand moves towards my chin and commands me to look straight at him. “Look at me, please”.

And I do.  His thumb brushes gently over my cheek, and he leans down to place a soft kiss on my lips. "You're incredible, you know that?" he whispers, his words a mixture of admiration and desire.

He seems more expressive tonight, a departure from his usual sour demeanor. “Yeah, I am very well aware of it, thank you for the reminder.” I decide to inject a bit of humor into the situation. While I appreciate this more open side of him, it's honestly weirding me out a bit.

He rolls his eyes, “Don’t get cocky.” 

“Shut up. Quick, kiss me again, old man.”

He smirks, leaning in for another kiss. Our lips meet, and the intensity between us reignites. We make quick work of our clothes, and he has me on all fours facing the window. I try to push away the thought of him imagining fucking the city in that egomaniac head of his. As he roams my body, I focus on the sensation, letting the pleasure wash over me. The position lets him get in much deeper, which combined with one hand pulling my hair and the other spanking me on the ass, makes me go crosseyed and incoherent. 

“Oh shit, fuck! Oh my god”, I gasp in between moans. This goads him into increasing his thrusts and to reply with possibly the most cliche response ever.

“Nope, just me”, he snarls.

“Ugh, just shut up and fuck me, you asshole”, I groan out both in pleasure and cringe. 

He pulls me up while still inside me so my back is against his chest. His calloused fingers come to rest on breasts and my clit, both rotating and pinching me in exquisite pleasure. Inside I get hot white and my vision goes out as the tautness that has been growing explodes. Mencken follows closely, my pussy milking him until he comes inside of me.

The soft glow of the bedside lamp bathes the room in a warm aura as Mencken and I fall in tangled limbs. With the air thick with a heady mixture of contentment and the smell of sex, Mencken, typically stoic post coitus, couldn't resist diving headfirst into banter.

His eyes wandered to the ceiling, contemplating the subject that had crept into his thoughts. "You know, I can't help but think about the French election."

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "Oh, so now you feel like talking. Do tell. Is there a particular candidate you find captivating? Is this why you were so broody this evening?”

Mencken's lips curved into a smirk, his eyes glinting with mischief.  “Marcel Reynaud, the so-called heartthrob. I fail to see what the fuss is about."

I propped myself up on an elbow, ready for the snarky exchange that was bound to follow.

"Well, Mencken, not everyone can appreciate his charm. Or perhaps, you're just not into the whole 'French boyfriend' craze?"

Mencken scoffed, dismissing the idea with a wave of his hand.

“Oh, please! He's just another commie with a mediocre appeal. Looks like he belongs in some sad Eastern European gay porn."

I couldn't help but burst into laughter at his blunt assessment.

"Oh, Mencken, you have such a way with words. I suppose, in your eyes, only right-wing politicians can be easy on the eyes?"

Mencken grinned, his snarkiness unwavering. "Exactly."

Teasing him further, I continued, "Well, you can't deny he's got a certain je ne sais quoi. Maybe you're just jealous that the internet's boyfriend title slipped away from you."

Mencken scoffed again, feigning indifference, “Jealous? Hardly."

Chuckling, I replied, "Of course not, Mencken. Your appeal is far too sophisticated for the masses."

“Wait, you really find him hot? You have the most powerful man in the world in your bed but you still are thinking about some third-rate European lefty? He isn’t even a full president, he has a fucking prime minister!”

“Woah there, I thought you weren’t jealous.”

“I’m just disappointed in you. Really, what happened to your taste?” 

He has a plane to catch the next morning. So when he has enough rest, (“I’m an old man, remember?”) he fucks me once again after eating me out, another habit he has picked up from Rome. During the week I have to wear turtlenecks and scarves to cover up the love bites he left over my chest and neck. Immature asshole.

______________________________________________________________

His administration suddenly became very interested in US-France relations. I could practically see the cogs turning in his mind, the wheels of diplomacy greased with a hint of jealousy. The irony wasn't lost on me—the leader of the free world, concerned about a romantic rival from across the Atlantic.

One evening, as we lounged in my apartment with General Meow resting on his lap, Mencken couldn't resist poking at the issue. “Any thoughts on how we can improve diplomatic ties with France? Perhaps organize a state dinner, or maybe I should visit him on a diplomatic mission?”

I exhale a sigh, knowing exactly where he was going with this. “You're the President of the United States. I'm pretty sure there are more pressing matters than cozying up to Marcel Reynaud just because your lover thinks he’s hot.”

He grinned, a playful glint in his eyes. "Well, I just thought it would be a shame if our relations suffered due to my charming French competition." 

And so it was decided, a state dinner was on the horizon, orchestrated not just for diplomatic reasons but also as a subtle way for Mencken to flex his presidential prowess in the face of a perceived rival. It was not lost on me that, deep down, this was more about asserting dominance. Men and their petty egos.

In the weeks leading up to the state dinner, Mencken's text arrived, a blend of formality and subtle suggestion. "Pick something nice, my dear. You'll be seated with me and Marcel. Let's make it a spectacular evening."

[nobodysdaydreams]

Finally Live Reacting To Time Bombs ⌚💣 (From the Creators and Actors of Wolf359)

Hello everyone! I have been intentionally avoiding my mutuals' time bombs content (which I'm sure is lovely) just so I can do this live reaction. For those that are new, I'm Bods, I posted a bunch of unhinged Wolf359 reactions under the hashtag "#Bods wolf359 reactions" and you should be able to find them all there if you scroll back far enough (sorry my blog is a bit disorganized as much like our friend Doug Eiffel, I also have terrible ADHD).

This podcast, Time Bombs, is a shorter three episode podcast created, written, recorded, produced, and released in a single week by the same creators and a lot of the same actors as the original sci-fi audio drama Wolf359. Which I have to say, is impressive. Creating and writing something in one week is impressive, but that's one thing, and getting the actors in the studio is another. I hope the entire cast, writers, and crew continues to go on to do amazing projects because they clearly deserve it.

I know nothing about time bombs going into it other than Jacobi and Lovelace's actors, Noah Masur and Cecilia Lynn-Jacobs, are in this, and Zach Valenti who voices Doug Eiffel, Alexander Hilbert, Bob the Dear Listener, and Sam Lambert in Wolf359 is also in this as "Additional Voices" (whatever that means). I have no idea if this is about time travel, sci-fi, or just secret agents with bombs, we're going into this completely spoiler free, which makes me honestly a little excited because I don't know what to expect. We'll see if this ends up as unhinged as my Wolf359 reactions and while I'll use that hashtag on this post for consistency, I'll also use "#bods time bombs reaction" so that you can just search that one if you want to find this again.

Since there are only three episodes and they're each about 15-20 minutes, I'll be doing them all under one post, and if you want to listen to the podcast yourself, you can find it here. Okay, enough exposition, let's get into it!

Episode 1: Pink Mist

"This podcast contains discussions of DEATH. BE FOREWARNED!"

*Upbeat smooth jazz music starts playing* 🎶🎶🎶

I love it already. Catchy little tune.

Hi Simon Teller. The worst day of my life? Well, I got a bloody nose, and I've been under the weather but that's not exactly abnormal for me. "Worst day of my life" is a tad dramatic.

Loving the jazzy detective noir vibes.

JACOBI! What's his new name? Midland? Mark Midland? "Talented, immature, still freaks out" is he scared of ducks?

Robert Hansen aka "Radio Bob". Is this the same Dear Listener Bob?

Good heavens. Bob. How much sugar does a man need?

Why is hating Christmas a side plot in both Wolf359 and Time Bombs? Eiffel at least made sense because his birthday is on Christmas, and he can't spend it with his daughter. Oh never mind. Midland hates New Years. And um...why are you working on New Years? That's my question.

Wow. Midland is going through something. Same man, but I'm really gonna have to hear about that job. Third most dangerous? "I thought it was the 6th most dangerous job." "Third if you only count legal jobs" asdkfljfsdljslfj;askldfj

That's my question. Who loves working New Years? Real talk, who loves working any day? Also, I see Jacobi/Midland is still a loyal underling to a boss that openly disrespects and infantilizes him. Some things never change.

"Business is booming, hopefully not literally." Haha, we'll see.

What record? And who is she?

Oh Lovelace. 😂 I love the bleeping of the swears. What is she doing here, is she just their HR to make sure they don't screw everything up or is Simon narrating for a news report about whatever he does?

Ah more detective action music. Let's roll, boys. 🚓

Okay bomb squad. Finally they get into the job, which I figured that's what this would be about. A small part of me was holding out for bombs that let you travel through time when the clock ran out, hence the name "time bombs" but for a three episode podcast, that would be a lot.

I do not understand any of these elaborate metaphors, but boy did they sound cool. Guessing pink mist is important. Also is Simon narrating this to nobody or is Lovelace's character taping this for him?

"You know what I hate? Car bombs." Does anyone love car bombs though?

I gotta be real. Whenever Time Bombs or Wolf359 are like "here is how the engine and bomb mechanics work" my ADHD brain just tunes out for a sec. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be this way, but it's just what my mind does.

"Why aren't we blowing up the cab? It's a nice cab. We're not robbing this man of his livelihood on New Years Eve." 🚕 I was thinking this boss seems a little like Doug and then I just realized that it's because he's the narrator.

Hospital thing? 🏥 Why is he role playing as a doctor? WHEN HE'S A BOMB EXPERT? THAT'S ALREADY EXCITING YOU DO NOT NEED TO PLAY PRETEND TO MAKE IT MORE EXCITING. That's like if a professional football player was like "as I'm running with the ball, I like to pretend I'm an accountant running late for a company meeting". But romanticize your life the way you want, I guess. Okay, never mind, maybe this character really is like Doug Eiffel.

Poor Jacobi/Midland just can't find a good boss can he? "Patient has been terminated" see, this is why the metaphor doesn't work.

"Lighten up and give me a high five" this man needs an HR rep on him.

"I'm a very smart officer and have been doing this for a very long time. You're in good hands." Oh what a lovely ego you have there. It's beautiful. Sure would be a shame if it lead to ironic consequences later.

Ah, I knew it. Lovelace is a reporter. Tatiana Sabero? That's such a noir reporter name if I've ever heard one. "I met her three hours ago, she's writing about us and got permission to ride along" seems legit to me. 👍🏻

"Harmless banter" "Off the record" destroy them in your report Tatiana/Lovelace. Destroy them.

Thank you Jacobi/Midland for being the one decent person here.

"Everyone's divorced. Twice before I was thirty, my brother doesn't speak to me, I owe my friends large sums of money, and my therapist broke up with me." Okay, clearly Simon has issues he deals with using humor. I think I've seen this film before.

"Bob, you're not divorced? Nah, no one can put up with my ✨crippling gambling addiction ✨🎲🎰" Okay no wonder these men work on bombs, they're addicted to adrenaline and danger.

Mark Midland's last night on probation? So he's got a lot on the line.

"No shenaniganry. Tomfoolery though... 😏"

I will say that there are certain personalities and types of people attracted to certain jobs, but this is sad. "It's just a bomb, the worst it can do is kill me" Bro, who hurt you? Why am I asking that, obviously these men are their own worst enemies.

Lovelace/Tatiana is asking the REAL questions. Time to explore your own mortality Simon Teller.

And...that's episode 1. Lots of fun exposition, I'm excited to see where this goes.

-------------

Episode 2: Emotional Dysregulation

I love this disclaimer before the catchy jazz music.

"Insufferable...I say with love in my heart boss." Oh Jacobi/Midland, won't you ever learn. Why do you take these jobs?

"Is that..." WHAT IS IT? IS IT A SCHOOL?

IT IS A SCHOOL.

"I'm gonna look like a hero!"

Simon, you're awful, and I smell karma heading your away.

Oh, is that Zach Valenti?

Yes, Jacobi/Midland. That IS what matters. No one got hurt. No bombs are a GOOD THING.

"What is wrong with these people? How can they be so selfish?"

Is he complaining about the fact that people DON'T bomb buildings more often? Dude. Get help.

"As long as we're there, put gun powder in someone's locker!" "Off the record" Lovelace/Tatiana, please destroy these men.

"Officially nooooooo...I hate bombs" "Unofficially?" I love how easy it is to get these men to talk. She says "Unofficially" and they're just like "ah, okay then."

"Emotional Dysregulation" no the term is adrenaline high and coping mechanisms.

"There is nothing funny about this job" What if Lovelace/Tatiana is a terrorist undercover to bomb them? That would be pretty funny.

UNIT 214?

UNIT 214!

I GOT THAT REFERENCE!

Yay! 🥳

So what's happening now? A...clown school? Well, that's the perfect place for you boys to enroll! 🤡 🎪

"Why would anyone want to blow up a clown school?" "Who wouldn't want to blow up a clown school?"

Someone afraid of clowns? Someone who just wants to set a funny trap for you? Someone you divorced or owe money to, perhaps, given the gambling addiction and admitted financial woes? At this point, if any of these characters was a surprise bad guy (or lady), I would not be surprised, they all have motive at this point, but in terms of podcast run time, I don't think we have quite enough for it.

So the fear of ducks is now fear of clowns. "Who would want to put more clowns into the world?" says the man who was just begging for more terrorists with bombs.

"What's worse than clown school?" BOMBS. Guns, disease, things that kill people. How about that?

What a complicated bomb to send to a clown school of all places.

Don't try to make him feel better Jacobi/Midland. He doesn't deserve it. "When it counts you stay focused and play it straight" "Midland, shut up". 😂 Why is Jacobi/Midland always working for toxic people who openly harass him? Why? Have some dignity.

"Less than 1% of bombs have collapsing circuitry" "Do you know that?" Jacobi/Midland may be the only one here with a brain.

Beep-beep!

"I hate it when you're right" No, you hate it when YOU'RE wrong. Nice work, Simon Teller. You activated the bomb.

Okay, so what happened? Did they fix it? Okay. Good. They did it...by guessing it sounds like. Hopefully that humbled him. There's an episode left so I won't hold my breath.

"That was me lying" Yeah, we got that Simon.

"If you knew which was the fail safe, why didn't you show me before you cut the other ones?" "Are you questioning your team leader tonight of all nights?" "No." JACOBI MIDLAND! THIS IS WHEN YOU OUGHT TO BE QUESTIONING HIM IT IS THE MARK OF A GOOD EMPLOYEE THAT YOU ARE QUESTIONING HIM.

"All off the record" "Of course" Kill them Lovelace/Tatiana. Not literally, of course, but you know. In the media.

Really flying along here. One more episode left! Let's see how they wrap this up.

-----------

Episode 3: Countdown

Discretion is advised and...JAZZ MUSIC 🎶🎶🎶

"2 hours from midnight, one bomb away, so what if Midland is mad at me?" Not developing a conscience, are we Simon?

I love Lovelace/Tatiana sneaking up on him. 😂 This man has such an ego he treats her like part of the furniture.

Oh, finally they offer her coffee. "Is officer Midland going to be fine?" Good question. I don't think so, but maybe they can make him feel better by the end of the episode.

"How are you going to be if you don't beat the record?" "Can I ask you a question" way to deflect Simon.

"Why are you spending New Years Eve in a police van?" See, these are the questions someone working for the cops should have considered already instead of fretting about a record.

"Teller is there when it counts" Is he though? Is he?

Oh, hi again Zach Valenti! Are you going to get to play an unhinged guy with a bomb? That might be fun!

A man to man talk. "Things were said. Some were not true. Some were unkind. But we are professionals." What an apology. "I'll forget what you said" oh so he's just no longer threatening him? WOOOOOWWWW...Simon, you're the worst.

"Tempers were high" "Yeah, tempers were high because of your lies!" TELL HIM JACOBI MIDLAND!

YES! Call out his ego!

"I make the rules" Simon, no you don't.

"Lets not say anything we can't walk back from" Lovelace/Tatiana is gonna destroy them so badly. 😂

"We're gonna fast forward past me screaming like a normal person" Simon you're funny, but you don't have Doug's morals and sobering regret and that's why I can't get behind you.

How convenient that the coffee got spilled on his hands so it's up to Jacobi and Midland to save the day. I guess this means he has to give up his record. What a sacrifice.

"The record doesn't matter" "...the record matters so much... 😭😭😭" And...that's why it's a notable sacrifice, Simon. Welcome to loving people, hurts sometimes, doesn't it.

Pinata bomb? 🪅 Sounds like a party!

Lovelace/Tatiana learns fast. She honestly should be doing their job, she just recited the whole thing.

"You sure you don't want to hang around?" I think she's good. I think she's got plenty.

You're all gonna get fired. "Or funding for 10 new vans, or both" 😂

How nice. They all get beers together. 🍻 Happy Ending!

Oh, and they get to watch the fireworks together. A very appropriate ending.

And...there's that jazz music! 🎶

-----

That was fun. Thank you to everyone who recommend it. The semester is starting and school is keeping me busy, but if I ever react to more podcasts in the future, I look forward to see you guys there. Bye!

[cyarsk52-20]

News

How this country star’s hit song unexpectedly catalyzed the Montgomery riverfront brawl

By Anna Beahm | abeahm@reckonmedia.com

Jason Aldean’s chart-topping, controversial country song, “Try That in a Small Town,” became the soundtrack to the racially-charged confrontation that went viral this week. (GettyImages) (Getty)

Sign up for Reckon’s latest weekly newsletter covering the three topics never to be discussed at the dinner table. Enter your email to subscribe to Matter of Faith.

Country star Jason Aldean’s latest song “Try that in a Small Town” was already criticized for promoting a “pro-lynching mentality,” but now it’s part of social media videos of a fight between a black worker and white boaters in Montgomery, Ala.

The song starts with a list of criminal behaviors including carjacking and harassing police officers as behaviors that would not be tolerated “in a small town,” as the chorus goes. The song also asks “if you’re lookin for a fight, try that in a small town.”

While catchy and clearly a hit, the tune has been criticized by political activists like Shannon Watts, the founder of Moms Demand Action, and country greats like Sheryl Crow, who said “even people in small towns are sick of violence.”

Violence is exactly what happened on Sunday when officials said a Black dock worker and white boaters got into a dispute that turned into a brawl between Black and white boaters at the dock in Montgomery, Ala. The worker had apparently asked the boater to move the boat to make room for the Harriet II Riverboat that usually docks in that location, the Montgomery Advertiser reported.

The song joined the Montgomery River Brawl when TikTok users put the song over videos of the fight. Some users said they were reclaiming the song for the Black community invested in Montgomery.

The Montgomery Police Dept. said the man was attacked “for simply doing his job.” Police have also issued arrest warrants for several people involved in the fight.

Dillon Nettles, a policy analyst for the American Civil Liberties Union, posted on X Monday morning about the fight.

“The significance of the riverfront where this fight took place shouldn’t be lost. This is where our ancestors were transported and marched in shackles up Commerce [Street] to be sold. Montgomery was once one of the most prominent slave trading markets in the country,” Nettles posted.

The story was trending on X Tuesday morningalong with the hashtags #Alabamaboatbrawl and #montgomerybrawl. TikTok users were also posting videos of the fight with an audio clip from Aldean’s song.

“Probably not how they anticipated this song being used,” TikTok user @dazzlingblu said in a comment.

Other users commented on the use of the song with the clips saying “the flip of the century for that song,” and “uno reverse.”

The song was originally a ballad for “small-town” folks who opposed “big city” ideas (and threatened them with violence). In the comments under one TikTok video, users were reclaiming the song, making it the 180-degree turn no one expected for the song.

TikTok user @abbysworldsastage posted a video about the incident between a white woman and a chair-weilding black man, saying that she thought people who were upset about a man hitting a woman with a chair were deflecting from the real issue at the root of the fight: racial violence.

“When I watched that vid, [sic] I saw a community coming together to protect each other, and an impressive use of available tools. I’m not about to say just swinging on women or anyone is okay, but I certainly don’t think that was the problem with the whole situation, and the focus on it feels like deflection to me,” she said in the video caption.

The fight happened over the weekend after former President Donald Trump visited Montgomery on Friday to attend and give remarks at a Republican Party dinner. However, it’s unclear if those involved in the fight attended Trump’s event.

Trump pleaded not guilty Thursday to new charges related to the classified files discovered at his Florida mansion last year.

The controversy and boycott

The song, music video and resulting controversy around it has led some conservatives to call for a boycott of Country Music Television (CMT) for pulling the music video off its streaming platform.

Last month, CMT canceled Aldean’s music video after backlash related to the song’s suggestions of “looking for a fight.” Speaking of, the music video for the song featured shots of the Maury County Courthouse in Columbia, Tenn., where Henry Choate, an 18-year-old Black man, was hanged in 1927 after he was falsely accused of attacking a white girl.

Featuring the location in the shot led to calls for a boycott of the video, which some critics said represented a “pro-lynching” stance.

Earlier this year Bud Light and Chick-Fil-A were caught with similar backlash, as conservative fans call for a boycott of the entertainment group. Other musicians involved in the political culture wars including Lee Greenwood, have also issued statements criticizing CMT’s decision and offering support for Aldean.

Conservative politicians across the country have also extended their welcome to Aldean in the wake of the music video cancellation.

Sent from my iPhone

[euclydya]

i'm fine i've just been going insane /lh

had to take more hours at our second job for financial reasons + been doing almost nightly tutoring with my kid brother (the semester just ended for him). very busy but no like emotional turmoil or anything.

today's music rec theme is showtunes! i'm recommending totally fucked from spring awakening for billy, hard to be the bard from something rotten for eddie, never ever getting rid of me from waitress for steve, take it like a man from legally blonde for your jonathan, and all that's known from spring awakening for will+the party. honorary mention to tatoue-moi from mozart l'opera rock, considered recommending it to steve but idk if any of y'all're partial to french music/foreign languages.

also, dr. crane wants poe to listen to the fear song by amanda palmer

VIRTUALLY HUGS YOU !! (IF!! YOU'RE FINE WITH THAT OFC IF NOT THEN. VIRTUALLY SENDS U A HIGH-FIVE /LIGHTHEARTED)

We're!!! So glad y'all are okay jesus we were worried HFJSKDKF but we.,, worry easily. Hashtag Paranoia Things BCJDJD but anyway!! Jesus that sounds like a lot, we hope shit calms down soon!!

Great songs as usual tbh!! We aren't a Musical Fan™ but all of those songs are hella catchy I'll be damned /lighthearted -Billy

our recs:

Every Day is Exactly The Same - Nine Inch Nails (Steve's rec)

ooookay so We May Have Had Another Steve Form. Newer Steve is s1-2 era so we refer to him as Asshole Era Steve (/lighthearted) but ANYWAYS this is moreso his rec than OG!Steve's rec but they both agree that it is A Good Song and also A Relatable One as of late. Everything Always Feels The Goddamn Same All The Fuckening Time Forever! Hell On Earth!! /lh -Billy (neither of em are up front atm so I'm relaying for em)

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D - Will Wood and the Tapeworms (my rec!)

ok so first off, suicide bait tw riiight at the end of the song, it's like the second to last verse gjsjdjf

Sooooo we love will wood's music but we Especially love the it when his songs are,,, Angry™ HFHSJDJFJ. WE JUST,, LIKE ANGRY MUSIC IDK WHY. Anyways top ten songs that are Full Of Emotion That We Enjoy!! NCNDJ -Billy

Acid King - Malibu Ken (Eddie's rec)

a couple tws for this one too: Major drugs tw and, if you watch the music video, uhh... emeto and body horror/General Gross Shit tws too djiakdjf. Very cool music video, it's all animated, but it's also a bit Detailed™ HFNSJDJ

The song basically goes into the story of the Acid King/"Say You Love Satan" killer, Kasso, so,,, If you already know about that then you already know what's up with the song BFNSKDKD but it is. CATCHY. We love it. Especially the outro!! Like,,, can't explain it but the outro lyrics are Important to me for some reason. -Eddie

Sweet Sweet - The Smashing Pumpkins (Jonathan's rec)

We recently sat down and did our like, Monthly Listen Of Siamese Dream™ so a lotta the album is still stuck in our head,, This song's very short and not a Favourite of ours but something about it struck a chord with me!

Honestly, we'd rec the whole album to y'all (and anyone. and Everyone tbh. it's one of our collective all time favourite albums ever) but we'll just,, do so in bits n pieces for now lmao. But if you do happen to decide to listen to it in full, please tell us what you think!! :D -Jonathan

Get The Lead Out - A Perfect Circle (Will's rec)

Now Will hasn't been fronting much recently (no particular reason, he's doing fine dw) so I'm also relaying for him rn.

I actually… Straight up lost track of where he is the past few days? The headspace is huge as hell though but we can keep in contact easily so I'm not, like. Worried, y'know. But I like mentally asked where he was and he replied with bits of this song (because communicating via music is his thing now it seems /lighthearted) -Jonathan

The Raven - Nevermore Musical (Poe's rec)

The perfect time to recommend a song from a musical it seems!! This song, or poem really, is where I got my name… And form. Well, one of them!

We had a huge Hyperfixation Moment on The Raven innnn uhhhhhh late 2019-early 2020? Twas when I was created and such! This rendition of it though is indeed a favourite of ours! Very emotional and fun to sing along to!! :} -Poe

[girls-scenarios]

Lesser-Known Girl Groups You Should Check Out

1. GIRLKIND

First on the list is GIRLKIND! This is a four member girl group that all the admins really like. They come from a poor company, which unfortunately has made some people send them hate, but every single one of these girls is so talented and they do their best with what they have. They do a lot of dance covers, like their recent relay dance of girl group songs from 2010, as well as vocal and dance covers! They tend to reply to comments and interact with fans as well! Medic Jin has such an incredible voice and every single member can dance. It’s sad that they don’t have the funds to show their talent to the world, because they genuinely have so much potential. Their most recent comeback is “Future” and it’s one of my favorites by them, go check it out!

2. Saturday

Second on the list we have Saturday! Saturday is a (now) five member girl group under SD Entertainment. For this group, their songs definitely aren’t for everyone: they’re a mix of cute and silly, but it’s a sound that I personally love! My favorite song by them is “Wifi,” it’s just so catchy and it makes me smile every time I listen to it! They recently posted a dance cover of “Kissing You” with their lightstick that was so adorable, and Haneul, who is all around talented AF, posted a short NCT 127 “Kick It” dance Cover! You can learn more about them by watching them on Fact iN Star. Their last comeback was with “BByong” and it looks like we’ll be getting a comeback soon as some of the girls have changed their hair colors!

3. Nature

Third we have one of my current favorite groups, Nature! Nature is a nine member girl group under N.CH World. They’ve had a couple lineup changes and, most recently, added Sohee, who some of you might recognize from Produce 101! This group is known for their kind of weird, unique yet catchy songs, like ���Some (You’ll Be Mine)” and my personal favorite, “I’m So Pretty.” This group has some dancing machines and they post a lot of dance covers, Haru in particular. She just recently posted a dance cover of MC Hammer’s “It’s All Good,” and a dance practice all my friends love is Saebom, Aurora, and Haru’s cover of “Chun-Li.” You can watch them on Weekly Idol, Fact iN Star, KBS’s Try Not To Sing Challenge, Pops In Seoul, Car Talk, and Idol League. They had a reality show with Mnet, but I cannot for the life of me find where to watch it. They upload a lot of short videos to their YouTube channel, some with subs and others without. They also had a pop cover project pre-debut that is incredible! Their latest Korean comeback was with “Oopsie! My Bad” and “Bing Bing,” a side track the promoted! They’re a really amazing group that I’ve totally fallen for!

4. Elris

This next group is an older group, as Elris debuted under Hunus Entertainment in 2017. They recently added two members, Chaejeong (who you might recognize from Produce 48) and EJ, making them a seven member girl group. They debuted with a rather cute concept that they changed up a bit with their last comeback. Sohee, the leader, is probably the most known member of the group. You might know her from her solo song “Hurry Up” with BOL4, she also did some solo things pre-debut. They post both dance and vocal covers on their YouTube channel, as well as vlogs from the members. You can learn more about them by watching Pops in Seoul, Fact iN Star, Broken Karaoke, After School Club, their Weekly Idol episode with Golden Child, and this actually helpful (un)helpful guide to Elris. They also recently appeared on dancing idol! Their most recent comeback was with “Jackpot” and it was really good, be sure to give them a listen! 

5. 3YE

Next is 3YE (pronounced third eye) and, even though I think they’re really gaining in popularity especially overseas, I still wanted to include them. 3YE is a three member girl group under GH Entertainment with a criminal concept! Their dances really make them stand out because of the cheer power, and their music would appeal to anyone who likes more hard-hitting music or a typical boy group sound. On their YouTube, you can find Q&A videos (subbed!) and lots of covers! Unfortunately they haven’t had the chance to be on many shows yet, but you can learn more about them through this interview, this (un)helpful guide to 3YE, and this Pop in Seoul video. They have three songs, the most recent being “Queen” as well as “OOMM (Out Of My Mind)” and “DMT (Do My Thing)”.

6. ANS

Next we have ANS, an eight member girl group under ANS Entertainment that debuted in 2019. It’s a bit of a joke in the fandom that they add members every comeback, because, well, it’s kind of true so far. They gained a lot of attention after their comeback “Say My Name” in January, although some people were accusing them of copying Everglow. Thankfully, most of the attention that came from this was positive. This is another group under a poor company trying their best, especially because a lot of the girls have tried to debut before, but I think they did amazing with their last comeback and I’m really hoping their career is able to take off. Also, their dance skills are GREAT. They have so many members who excel in dancing and even choreograph themselves, please watch Bian, Dalyn, and Raon’s “I Like It” choreo and be blessed. They also post vocal covers through their cover project and their dance practice in hanbok was ADORABLE. They went to Fact iN Star during their debut, so you can learn about the members other than J and Haena there. This (un)helpful guide to ANS is really great as well! These girls are incredibly talented, check out both “Boom Boom” and “Say My Name” live stages to see what I mean!

7. Cignature

Okay so Cignature has actually been getting quite a lot of attention since their debut this year, but I couldn’t help but to add them here. Cignature is a seven member girl group under J9 Entertainment. Five of the members were in the girl group Good Day and appeared on The Unit, so you might see some familiar faces! I feel like a broken record, but I’m serious when I once again say that the members are SO TALENTED. They sing live for every performance and even during some dance challenges! On their YouTube, they do a lot of dance covers and they have a lot of short videos called Cignature Piece that are, unfortunately, not subbed but are still fun to watch! You can learn more about them through After School Club, this complimenting challenge, this newsaid interview, this skylife series, Broken Karaoke, and Fact iN Star released a dance video, so they might be appearing there soon as well! They came back with a second debut single ASSA after Nun Nu Nan Na, which is about not caring if you’re an outsider and being yourself!

8. April

April is another group that falls into the area of known, but kind of underrated. They’re a six member girl group under DSP Entertainment that debuted in 2015, and although they had some lineup changes early on (KARD’s Somin used to be in the group) they’ve stayed six members for a while. You probably know Naeun, even if you don’t know that you know her: she’s acted in “A-Teen” and “Extraordinary You” as well as been MC for multiple music shows. The members have also done OST’s and have been in commercials. Somehow, though, Apink still manages to fall under the radar. Their last comeback, Oh! My Mistake was their most popular song (and their best mini album, in my opinion), but then they disappeared for a while. Their songs like April Story and The Blue Bird had more of a soft, dreamy concept and, in my opinion, should have gotten them some wins. Their reality show Here Goes April right after their debut (before Rachel and Chaekyung joined and Somin and Hyunjoo left) does have English subs, but unfortunately most of the short videos they upload now do not. You can learn more about April through their Celuv TV appearance, A Song For You, and their Pops in Seoul interview. Since they aren’t super popular overseas, it is hard to find English subs for them, but Chaewon does have her own YouTube where she posts covers and a few vlog-type videos, and Naeun has appeared on a lot of shows on her own! April will finally be making a comeback this month on the 22nd with their mini album Da Capo, so keep an eye out and please give them lots of support!

There are so many other groups that I love, like Favorite, PinkFantasy, PurpleBeck, ShaFLA, Sunny Hill, PLAYBACK, Sonamoo, NeonPunch, DreamNote, Ariaz, Limesoda, Laboum, Hashtag, and H.U.B! There also groups like gugudan, GWSN, and DIA who are known but need more recognition. If you guys find this helpful, I’d love to do another list to bring light to my girls! - Admin Kiwi

[babyboy-bangtan]

By Chance Chapters 9-10

A misunderstanding gone viral puts you on BTS’s radar, which leads to a series of events that finally culminate with you meeting them for the first time.

✚ Pairing: Sub!BTS/Female Reader ✚ Word Count: 2.8K ✚ Rating: M ✚ Warnings: None. ✚ A/N: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Read on AO3 / Chapters 1-4 /  Chapters 5-8

Chapter 9: The Guests

"Do you already know which artist is performing that day?" Your friend asks over the phone while you eat your toast with one hand and hold a script with the other. Reading it doesn't need your full attention, and based on what this movie seems to be about it doesn't look like it deserves it anyway.

"No, not yet." You reply absentmindedly, taking another bite of your toast while seriously contemplating just giving up on this script halfway through reading it. You doubt it's redeemable at this point. "It's in like a month anyway. They said they would tell me first before announcing it, though."

"This is so exciting!" She almost squeals, and you close the script before throwing it in the trash. You lost count of how many times it was written that the male protagonist couldn't keep his eyes from your cleavage. "I can't believe you're hosting again. I've been waiting for this to happen for years!" You can't help but laugh at her dramatics.

"It feels as surreal as the first time, honestly." You eat the last bite of your toast and pour yourself another glass of orange juice. You did enough freaking out to last a lifetime when you hosted the show for the first time a couple years ago, so this time you're excited but definitely not on the verge of a nervous breakdown like last time.

"Who do you think will be performing?" She asks, and you realize that you hadn't thought about that at all. "Oh my god what if it's BEYONCÉ?" She damn near screams that last part, and your brain immediately screams NO at that. You're still embarrassed at what happened last year, and you don't know when you'll be able to face her again without feeling mortified. 

"Who knows?" You quickly reply. "Maybe it'll be like Ed Sheeran or something."

"Maybe." She responds, way less excited than when she thought Beyoncé was a possibility. "Anyways, tell me when you know, okay? My break is almost done so I gotta go."

"Will do. Bye, love you!"

"Love you too, bye!" You hang up and stretch your arms over your head, already feeling stressed.

What if it was Beyoncé? It would be the third time you see her and even though she was incredibly lovely when you apologized and explained what happened the first time you met, that did nothing to erase the embarrassment you still feel today. You don't really think she would perform in a regular episode with you as the guest either, but now you can't help but feel anxious about it.

They said they were going to tell you who the artist was in the next few days, so for now all you can do is wait and try to not overthink too much.

Easier said than done.

Three hours ago, taking a nap because it was raining and the temperature had dropped just enough for it to be perfect for sleeping had seemed like a great idea. It's not the first time you do it, the day called for it, and since you didn't have to work today it was okay to relax and rest for a bit considering that in a couple days you'll start shooting again.

Completely harmless.

Except it wasn't.

You wake up thanks to some very loud thunder, and you snuggle deeper into your covers to continue sleeping. Another thunder disrupts you again, so you decide to look at the time and see if it's even worth it to try and sleep some more. But instead of being greeted with the time once you turn your phone on, you're greeted with 50 missed calls and texts from over 30 conversations.

"What the fuck?" You mumble to yourself, rubbing your eyes to try and see a little better.

Around 30 of the missed calls are from friends, and the rest are from your publicist and agent. You scroll down the conversations until you reach the message you got first, and the name makes you think you might understand what happened.

SNL Producer.

2 hours ago.

Hello [Y/N]! I'm just writing you to let you know before we post it on social media, that the musical guest on your episode will be BTS. See you soon!

Well, now you have no doubt that's definitely it.

You read through the messages as fast as you can and manage to reply to several before you're interrupted by your publicist calling.

"Hi, sorry. I was taking a nap." You quickly say.

"Don't worry, I just wanted to let you know that the internet exploded two hours ago."

"Because of BTS?" You ask, pulling the covers off of you and sitting on the edge of your bed. "That's not news, it happens every other week."

"Well, yes, true—" She agrees. "—but we don't care about those times, we care about this now because it involves you." She pauses for a second. "Check what I just sent you." You remove your phone from your ear and put her on speaker before opening the message notification.

It's the screenshot of an Entertainment Weekly tweet.

Exclusive: @BTS_twt and [Y/N] will finally meet and we couldn't be more excited

4,5K replies, 190K retweets, 380K likes.

"How the fuck did that get so many likes?" You blurt out, eyes wide. Your hear your publicist laugh heartily.

"It's more now, actually. The screenshot is from 10 minutes ago. And it's because BTS retweeted it."

"Oh, right." You say, shaking your head at yourself. You should've known. "That makes sense."

"It would be even better if you had a twitter account yourself so you could retweet and even send them someth—"

"My mental health." You interrupt her, rolling your eyes as you fall back again on the bed. You've lost count of how many times she's tried to have you make new accounts already. "Remember how I had to start taking antidepressants because of social media?"

"Right, yeah. The mental health thing." She sighs. "You could always have someone manage them instead of yourself, you know."

"Yeah, and then I'd be constantly checking what's been posted and what people have replied to every post." You hate talking to her about this, because even though she's great at her job and mostly understanding, she still complains about what a loss it is that you're not on Instagram and Twitter.

"Fine. I'll drop it." She pauses for a second. "Anyway, the reason why I called is to know how much do you know about these guys."

"I know a bunch of their songs. I've been listening to that song they did with Nicki, Idol— it's so catchy and the video is so random but so great." You conveniently leave out the detail that the reason you like the video so much is because they look beautiful in those suits while simultaneously looking like the cutest human beings on Earth with their other colorful outfits— especially in those sweaters with cartoon characters and the ripped jeans. "I actually watched a bunch of their music videos back when the whole behind the scenes stuff happened." Moments from their Blood, Sweat and Tears music video pop into your mind, but you immediately redirect your thoughts elsewhere. That video makes you feel way too many things that you should not be feeling while talking to your publicist. "They're so talented." You quickly add, sincerely. "I was thinking about watching some interviews soon to see what they're like. I haven't really watched any of that."

"Good! I was going to tell you to do that. These guys are like a publicity machine. If they approve of you, their fans will like you."

"Weeell..." You say, grimacing a little. You're not so sure about that. "Either that happens or they see me as a threat to them and decide I'm not good enough to be near them, and get a hashtag calling me a demon trending first worldwide."

"Well, based on the replies to that tweet I think many of them are excited. The international fans at least, I don't know about their Korean fanbase."

"And also, do not call them a publicity machine. They're actual people, you know." You sigh. "And that's not the reason why I will try to know more about them. It would be disrespectful to meet them without knowing anything about them. And please, stop seeing artists as only publicity opportunities. I told you I hate that!"

"That's literally my job, love. And whatever your good person reasoning is, I don't care. Just do that." She pauses. "And now I have to leave you, because unlike you I actually have to work today. See ya." She hangs up before you can say anything, and you take a deep breath.

She can be a goddamn handful, but even when she acts without emotions she always does things the way you want them and is very accommodating. She's good at her job.

You finally get out of bed and walk to the kitchen, where you left your laptop. But before you can do anything, you have an incoming FaceTime call from your best friend. She must've just read your reply to her 50 angry texts because you didn't tell her who the guest artist was going to be on your Saturday Night Live episode before the rest of the world found out.

"Heeeeeeey." You say innocently once her face appears on screen.

"Why didn't you tell me?! I had to find out on Twitter!"

"Okay, to be fair, you found out before I did. I was dead asleep when the producer texted me." You leave the phone standing against a glass of water and open your laptop. "So I had no chance to tell you before they announced it."

"Ugh, fine." She groans, rolling her eyes. "Anyways, are you excited?"

"I haven't had a chance to feel anything. I woke up to a thousand texts and calls and then my publicist called me." You open Youtube and start typing BTS to see what suggestions pop up first.

"Oh right, cause you went viral again. People on Twitter lost their shit over it."

"Yeah but they always do when BTS does something so it's not like it's new." You reply, a bit distracted.

BTS on crack?

"Okay, yeah. That's true." She agrees. "What are you doing?"

"Homework." You reply, scrolling through the endless results you got after clicking BTS on crack.

"Alright then, keep your secrets." She jokes, shaking her head. "I have to go anyway, I'm going out tonight." You blow a kiss in her direction.

"Have fun!"

"I always do! Bye!" She hangs up as you open a video titled "bts being crackheads for 5 mins straight".

You only need to watch a couple minutes to realize what type of videos these are. You have seen a couple of yourself that are edited similarly, but they were titled "[Y/N] being chaotic in interviews" and another one about you being extra— and you'd thought they were very funny.

A recommended video catches your eye, because it has hundreds of thousands of views.

RUNBTS 1-23 Best Moments

You have no idea what it is, but judging by the amount of views and the tiny amount of dislikes, it must be something good.

Time to start watching.

Chapter 10: The Surprise

"Do you think he will be angry at us for keeping it as a secret?" Hoseok asks, ear pointed at the bathroom door. He's doing his best to listen if the shower is still running, which means that Jungkook is not coming out just yet.

"No, he'll be too excited to be angry." Namjoon replies, waving his hand dismissively. "Jimin, don't blurt it out as soon as he comes here." He warns him, and Jimin looks completely shocked, not to mention offended. He searches for the support of the other guys with his eyes, but he finds that they're all looking at him the same way Namjoon is.

"What? Me?" He asks, pointing at himself. "Why me?"

"You're a terrible liar when you're excited about something." Taehyung says, and Jimin just stares at him with an angry pout. 

"I'm not." He says, crossing his arms.

"You are." Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jin say at the same time. Jimin refuses to dignify that with an answer, so he just stays silent with his angry pout still in place.

"The shower stopped." Hoseok says suddenly, craning his neck to listen better— and everyone goes silent. Not too long after, they hear it opening and Jungkook comes out drying his hair already dressed for bed.

"What's going on?" He asks, stopping suddenly when he sees them all standing there in the most suspicious way possible.

"Nothing!" Jimin suddenly says, way more excited than they had told him he was allowed to look.

"Jungkook, when did you say [Y/N] was going to be on SNL?" Hoseok asks, trying to not give himself away with the tone of his voice.

"April 13, why?" He continues to dry his hair, looking at the boys with narrowed eyes. He doesn't know what they're trying to do, but based on that question it seems like it has something to do with you. Maybe they want to watch the episode with him, since they're going to be in America by the time it airs anyway.

"So, we didn't tell you this before it was truly confirmed because we wanted it to be a surprise..." Namjoon starts, and Jungkook stops his movements.

They can't be telling him what he thinks they're telling him, right?

There's no way.

"But we'll be performing on SNL on April 13." He finishes. The towel drops from Jungkook's hands, and he just stares at them with no clear expression in his face.

"I thought he'd be more excited." Taehyung whispers in a confused tone to Namjoon, who lifts up a finger in response, signaling for him to wait.

"Give him a sec—"

"WHAT?!"

After a lot of happy screaming, a half an hour long videocall to his parents and a big glass of warm milk to calm him down, Jungkook is finally sitting down on the couch with the rest of the boys so they can explain how things went down.

"Jimin-Hyung, I can't believe you didn't tell me." Jungkook says, shaking his head with a surprised smile.

"We wanted to keep it from him, too." Yoongi says. "But he listened to us talking about it and we had to let him in."

"It was really hard to keep it a secret!" Jimin complains. "Because I was so excited. But I did so well, didn't I?" The rest don't really pay attention to him, except for Namjoon, who nods and gives him a thumbs up. Jimin isn't pleased with so little praise, but he takes it anyway. It's better than nothing.

"Ah, I'm so nervous." Jungkook says, unable to stop himself from grinning even though his face already hurts from smiling so much. He brings his knees up to his chest so he can hide his face in them, suddenly blushing. Even after he explicitly heard you talking about them, you still feel so far away from them that it almost doesn't feel real that they're going to meet you in a month.

"She already said she wanted to meet us—" Jin adds casually, and Namjoon has to hold back a sigh of relief because he's finally talking about you without getting nervous two seconds later. "—so you've got nothing to worry about."

He's come a long way since his confession a few months ago— even if Namjoon and Yoongi are still the only ones who know about his secret— and that lifts a huge weight from Namjoon's shoulders. It means that it's less likely he'll become instantly flustered the moment they see you for the first time, because if Jin gets nervous because of you in front of the cameras, everyone will notice and then talk about it— and Namjoon is sure that is the last thing Jin wants.

It doesn't take them long to realize it's futile to try and talk about the logistics of their performance with Jungkook right now, because he's barely paying attention to them. His grin has remained steady and unmoving from the moment they told him they would perform on the same day you're hosting, and they know it's going to continue that way for the next few days.

He'll be able to focus again once the initial shock passes and he finally realizes that yes, this is actually happening.

They are going to finally meet you.

Long after everyone has gone to bed, Jungkook lies still awake in bed, fully aware that he's not sleeping any time soon. He's still feeling giddy with happiness; he can't believe that they're going to actually meet you, and in a place where they will actually get to spend time with you, at that. He will get to talk to you, to actually be close to you and maybe, if he's lucky and brave enough, he might even get to hug you.

He'd fantasized about maybe seeing you in an awards show one day, but this is so much better than anything he could've imagined.

April 13 can't come soon enough.

Thank you so much for reading! Comments, asks, whatever you like is more than welcomed!

[bridgetpantilanan]

How to Use Social Media Responsibly? 🤔📱

Social Media is a huge place on the internet where you can create, share, and engage with different people around the world. You can discuss anything and see almost everything just one click away! Yet, it doesn’t spare you from the danger it holds. But no worries! Let me guide you with 5 ways along with some catchy K-pop lyrics. 😉

1. Shimmie, shimmie, po polite

Song: Ko Ko Bop - EXO

I think I like it, who wouldn't like to be respected? May it be on social media or not, respect will always be the superior golden rule we all must abide and applied all the time. Use proper punctuations and punctuations, avoid ad hominem, and use proper honorifics in communicating. You’ll never know who or how old the person would be when you talk to them through the internet, especially in discussions. Just be calm and don't be a keyboard warrior - let’s have a safe space for posting and commenting by giving courtesy and respect.

2. Share with nobody, nobody but you

Song: Nobody - Wonder Girls

Not everything on social media is meant to be posted. It’s a wonderful experience to be able to communicate and make friends with anyone around the world through social media. Yet, not everyone has the same genuine heart as yours and you must be vigilant with who you share your information with. Do not share your passwords, addresses, and other information that anyone may use to track you down at all cost or you’ll be at great risk. 

3. Naega check jal naga

Song: I Am The Best - 2NE1

Social media is great place to easily access different kinds of information but not everything you see is accurate or verified. Before believing what you see on the internet, make sure you are viewing it from a reliable source such as institutions, official websites, or you see the blue check mark on their page - some may be satirical sites. Not only that, it is also important to verify whether the website you are visiting is legitimate as some are manipulated to look like the original one and gather your personal details which is known as phishing.

4. Think me, think me, think me up

Song: Pick Me - Produce101

As the famous quotation we all know, "Think before you click." Always ask yourself whether is it okay to post about this or make a comment? Are you going to put yourself in risk or you might hurt someone in your post? Think about the content and comments you are about to publish or hashtags you join in, especially if it’s safe, morally right, and factual because you can no longer undo those things as people may save the receipt or data that can be used against you and words are easily remembered than your face. Let people remember you as someone who is kind and friendly, not the source of their trauma.

5. Gee gee gee gee engage

Song: Gee - Girls’ Generation

Social media is easy to access even when you don’t have Wi-Fi, which makes it good for informing masses other than entertainment and communication. Yet, could also be dangerous when left unchecked. Fake news is rampant in social media therefore you, as a responsible user, must make sure that you are not one of those people who spread fake news and shall inform others of what is right and wrong using credible sources. It is important to engage in discussions in social media to eradicate the chances of further spreading fake news and misinformation. You may feel ignored in sharing it yet you’ll never know how thankful that one person would be if they scroll along your post.

That’s it and you’re good to go! Now that you are a more responsible netizen,  here’s an award in completion of reading this post: 🥇

Congratulations and post responsibly! 🥳

[zhuhongs]

haha what if I sent you a bunch of songs 😏 what if 😳🤠

vou morrer sozinho (I'm gonna die alone) is about that hashtag relatable feeling of not loving anyone but also kinda wanting to love someone you know?? very fun to listen

porque eu te amo (because I love you) is a very sappy song about loving someone and choosing them and to be with them for a long time, very romantic and very thoughtful lyrics that emphasises the choosing someone part which makes it even better❗❗❗all anavitória's albums are really great and very chill to listen to

and bc spotify and tumblr sucks ass they dont have jão which is the artist in the next 2 songs, say goodbye and dom; say goodbye is about confusing, hard times and getting lost and losing a part of yourself in sadness but also taking time to heal yourself (at least that's my interpretation) link: https://open.spotify.com/track/6bPM1Ioges3Skz7SW4vFSL?si=P3Q0TEmCRF2qRz6-qRL_QA

and dom is (also) a really fun song to listen while you're doing nothing/not focusing in what youre supposed to do lmao the lyrics talk about basically his gift (dom in portuguese) with lyrics and working hard to have your own space somewhere and also about living the and appreciating the present

and lastly, the angsty emo gothic Brazilian anthem for anyone born between the 90s and 2005 probably

basically it talks about living for someone and also acknowledging that this someone doesnt appreciate or sees you, while also talking about seeing them making bad decisions and leaving your life and even though you dont have a healthy relationship and you dont wanna see them you also want their acknowledgement and also enjoying the moment before everything goes to complete shit

also I'm so so sorry this is extra long but yeah brazilian artists✨ love u 💖💌❗

NOOO don’t apologize, I rlly loved listening to these and learning more about u this way. I’m rlly into listening to the music ppl like bc it shows much abt them.

Firstly, listening to this i’ve heard more portuguese than i ever have in my life and i’ve concluded that portuguese is spanish if it was french. Shall not elaborate, it just is! I’ve tried learning both and never got far in either alklfjaslkdf

Okay so first song. The lyrics to Vou Morrer Sonizho were too painfully relatable tee hee. The self sabotaging mood. I rlly liked it too. It was catchy, esp the chorus.

Second song, hell yea women <33 once again.. the lyrics.. thats so cute omg. Esp the lines Teu cheiro só tu tem/Tua boca só tu tem/Me tem. it was a nice cute song

third and fourth were not especially my thing but i was vibing. Couldn’t find a translation for these so i was just listening.

Last one was my fav, i love angst and emo stuff!! Heavy guitars got me from the beginning... thank u sososos much giovanna for these <33

Send me a song rec!!

[the-monkeies-girl]

Perm Stands for Permanent. ( Joe Mazzello Oneshot.)

Hi, here is my attempt at some fluffy joe x reader,,,,,,, a a a a

Title: Perm Stands for Permanent. Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Reader.  Words: 1684. Rating: T. ( Just fluff ) Summary: Joe is home! He’s got a perm but he won’t let you see! Chaos ensues.

You hadn’t seen your boyfriend in what felt like months, and upon thought, you figured that was about right. Of course, there was FaceTime here and there, constant texting and the occasional flirting over his Instagram, but to physically see Joe, it had been quite that. Months. He’d been filming in the UK for an upcoming film, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, and while you had the chance to visit him, you didn’t take it. You figured it would just make it a more bittersweet moment when he finally did come home and take you into his arms, giving you that childish smile he was known for before diving in for a gentle kiss. There were moments when you regretted not taking him up on his offer to fly you out there, there were times when you got so lonely in your apartment that you’d find yourself wishing he was there with you to somehow cheer you up, which, you had to admit, he had a knack for. Then, your phone would buzz, reminding you that you had an unread message from Joe and things would be alright before cycling around again. And now that he was here in front of you, his familiar Yankees hat comfortable capping his head, sweats and a t-shirt, you felt like you were in a dream. It would be so easy to just run up to him and tackle him to the ground, but neither of you would have the energy to get back up after that.

You at least let him set his suitcase down in the living room, biting your bottom lip and vibrating with excitement as he finally said, “You moved the couch, just a little to the left, I swear, oh my god.” Joe groaned and threw his head back as he literally dragged his feet across the room so he was in front of you, “I leave you here alone for a few months and you decide to move all of my stuff.” There was that teasing nature in his voice, one of his hands coming up and cupping the side of your face before he finally dived down and pecked your lips. It was gentle, as you expected it to be, and a tad bit ticklish as he had grown some stubble. Resting a hand on his chest as he pushed himself against you a bit harder, you chuckled against his lips and gave him a proper kiss. Full liplock, which earned you a very nice groan from Joe as he shut his eyes and pulled away before things got too heated. But then again, he wouldn’t have minded. It had been months since he was able to hold you, touch you and just enjoy all the affections that came with your relationship. “I guess I can forgive you for messing with all my stuff.”

“It’s not just yours anymore, some of it is mine.” It was your turn to be foolish, the hand on his chest rubbing lightly as your eyes flickered into his playfully. “C’mon, take your hat off, stay a while. You’re acting like you’ve never been here before.”

“I’m basically a new man,” He held out his hands and gave you a comical twirl, “Do I not look any different? I’m pretty much evolved into John Deacon, right?”

You bit your bottom lip once more and whispered quietly, “I mean, he’s hot.” The look Joe gave you was absolutely priceless; he deadpanned momentarily before it curled into a grin around the corners of his mouth. “But, I don’t think he’s going to run around wearing a Yankees hate, baby. C’mon,” Whining, you leaned against him, “Take your hat off, I want to see that sexy hair of yours.”

“You do know, I’m not wearing the long John Deacon wig, right? You’re not thinking of that hair?” Joe drew his bottom lip between his teeth and nibbled on it a bit. “That super sexy,” He held his hands up by his chest, “long, pullable hair?”

You weren’t going to deny that the wig he was referring to looked amazing on him, but, that was for another time. “No,” Joe pouted which caused a giggle to erupt from your mouth, “I want to see your short, kind of gingery hair, even if you have hat hair.”

“I’m going to have serious hat hair, I’ve been wearing this hat for like, two weeks straight.”

“Why’s that?” Lifting a hand, you grasped the bill of the hat and tried to pull it off but Joe was faster and put his hand on the very top to stop you.

“Well,” He tilted his head to the left and then the right. He didn’t know how to explain this to you without getting a surprised reaction. Joe knew he should have told you sooner, but, he also knew you were going to flip out at the idea that he had something drastic done to his hair. “At the time, I didn’t know what perm actually stood for---”

“Oh MY GOD YOU GOT A PERM?”

Joe moved back remarkably fast, almost body-slamming himself against the wall, “See, this is why I didn’t tell you! Perm stands for PERMANENT. I didn’t know that when I got it! Now it’s all,” He made a ‘poof’ sound and expanded his arms, “I look like a clown on crack, it is not pretty.”

“I want to see.”

He moved back a bit more, this time down the hallway. Joe was ready to run given the cue from you.  “You’re gonna have to catch me----”

Joe didn’t get the chance to finish his statement as you began running towards him, resulting in a small screech from him as he jolted down the hallway, kicking the door to the bedroom open and jumping on the bed. “Please, don’t take my hat. I’ve become super attached to it, it’s like my own son!”

Throwing yourself onto the bed, you cackled and rolled onto your boyfriend as he held onto the hat with intense desperation. You had him pinned down with your body weight. “I’m going to ask you nicely, and if you say no then I’m going to be the bad cop.”

“Oh, the bad cop.” Joe raised his eyebrows at you, wiggling them just a bit as you smacked his chest playfully. “My favorite.” He was trying to change the subject. That sneaky---

“Not like that! At least, not right now.” You wiggled your eyebrows back at him, “Anyway, may I please, please take your hat off? You’re eventually going to have to, so why not do it right now?”

“Mmmmm…” Joe hummed under his breath. “Because you’re going to make fun of me right now and I’ll just wear the hat until I get a haircut and then you will never have to see the terror your boyfriend has become. See? I’ve already got it all planned out.”

“That’s it.”

“No, please! Don’t pick on the jetlagged kid!”

“Give,” You grabbed the sides of the hat that he wasn’t holding onto and tugged slightly, “me,” another tug, “the,” Another, this one a bit harder, “hat.”

“No.”

“Joseph.” You tugged, almost getting it off. “I’ll just tear it off in the middle of the night and take pictures of your hair and post them all over the internet.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Hashtag…. Cracky the clown sounds catchy, right?”

“You’re evil.”

“You made me this way.” You laughed, leaning down and pressing your lips to his slowly just so he knew that you were joking and not being serious.

“I might waiver if,” He purred and coaxed you into one more kiss, this time with a bit of tongue,  “Hm….” That was murmured against your lips, “if you promise not to make fun of me. Not one peep, not one laugh or chuckle or judgmental look. ”

“I’m not going to laugh, Joe.” You did just that though, laughing quietly as you sat up straight once again, looking down at your boyfriend who was still pinned to the bed. He seemed more than okay with it. “But,” Clearing your throat, you nodded, “I promise.”

“Okay.” He exhaled, letting his fingers loosen on the hat, “you promise?”

“I prooooooomise, babe. Please, I just want to see. Who knows? I might even like it.”

“Doubtful.” The emotion that passed over his face was one of skepticism as he pulled the hat off. “Perm means permanent.” He cried theatrically and covered his face with his hands, “Why didn’t anyone TELL ME?”

“Oh… My god.” You smiled widely, looking down at what you would describe as a ball and fluff of hair that escaped the Yankees hat the moment Joe took it off.

“See, I told you! It’s so horrible. And Gwilym kept like, knocking my hat off by accident though I know it wasn’t an accident and all this hair would just,” Joe made a swoosh noise, “Come out and attack whoever was there. What a nightmare---”

“I think it’s cute.” You shrugged your shoulders and dragged a hand through his hair. It felt the same as it did before, albeit, a bit more tangly as your fingers got caught here and there. “I’m sure it looked better when your hair wasn’t grown so much, but god…” You basically purred, “Joe, you look…”

“Are you serious?” Joe gasped, shutting his eyes. “A perm, (Name)? A perm is what does it for you? A perm gets ya going? Oh m… My god, a PERM?”

Bonus ending:

You pressed your lips to his bare chest, a smile spread across your cheeks. “It’s not the perm that does it for me, you know.”

“Oh,” Joe panted softly, wrapping his arm around your waist and tugging you closer to his naked body under the sheets. “Really now?”

“It’s the fact that you played John Deacon and got his 80’s perm. Now I can fantasize about that.” There was crazed mischief in your voice.

“What did you fantasize before?” Joe inquired, yawning quietly. The jetlag was hitting him harder now than before when he first got home.

You smiled wickedly, “Wouldn't you like to know?”

[fourteenacross]

octet - 5/25/19, 2pm

Hello, hello, I'm back from New Jersey! Which, you probably didn't even know I left, because I never post here anymore, but since we've yet to find a new platform for fannish happenings, I don't really have anywhere else to post show notes and the like.

Anyway, we saw Octet and Hadestown over the long weekend. I saw Hadestown at the NYTW in 2016, but I saw it the same day I saw Hamilton for the first time and my notes are lost to the ages. More about that later, though. (Tomorrow, probably.) For now, I'm going to focus on Octet.

So, here's what I knew about Octet going in: - Part of Dave Malloy's five year residency at the Signature Theatre - internet/discourse - Alex Gibson - a cappella? - support group?

The day before I did a little bit more digging, but I was kind of into going in blind, so I didn't dig too much.

Overall, I really liked it! My above the cut review is that, like all good Malloy shows, it brought up a lot of interesting concepts and shined a light on very relatable behaviors and ways of thinking. It doesn't really have a plot or narrative, and seems to largely exist to explore different types of internet denizens. As such, the characters vacillate between being actual people and being archetypes. I think all of this is fine--not everything needs to be a tautly plotted story, it's okay for this to be a song cycle, not a narrative musical. But I'm putting that out there for anyone who's thinking about going, just so you're aware when you head in.

First off, the set dressing is amazing. It looks just like a ratty church all purpose room, down to the way the light switches are labelled and the signs on the wall with clean-up instructions for group leaders. The walk in is papered with flyers advertising self-help groups, tutoring, charity walks, etc.

The show is set up like a support group meeting. A couple actors come in before the start and clean up the detritus of a bingo game and set up for the meeting, and then the group gathers and they begin. The group is “Friends of Saul,” and group members are told to put their phones off and in a basket against the wall, as they're here for various screen addictions.

Hymn: The Forest: This was a very Malloy song--it starts off a a meditation on a beautiful forest and takes a left turn. Delightful. Halfway through, Velma comes into the meeting and joins the other seven folks for the end of the hymn.

Refresh: Paula, the group leader, welcomes Velma to the group and tells them that Saul can’t be here this week, but he’s asked her to lead. She then asks if anyone wants to share. Jessica acquiesces and talks about how she was the subject of a viral video and has been "egosurfing" ever since, a compulsion to read all the shitty things strangers are saying about her without knowing her at all. (Unsurprisingly, Malloy says this song was heavily influenced by his feelings post-Comet.) Margo Seibert kills this song, which delves into our kneejerk tendency to pile on, sometimes without knowing or caring about context. It made me think a lot about how this goes both ways--the song focused on the negative, but obviously Milkshake Duck Syndrome is the same basic concept at its core.

Candy: Henry offers to share next. He talks about how his life is going okay at the moment, he's been on a few dates, but he hasn't had the heart to tell the guy about his "problem" yet, which is that he's addicted to video games. The song obviously invokes Candy Crush, but also refers to various other games including MMORPGs, FPSs, RPGs, and other phone puzzles games. I love this song--it is insanely catchy, Alex Gibson is delightful, and it's also profoundly sad and relatable. Henry eventually reveals that he uses games to avoid the real world and he's fairly sure he doesn't care if he dies, so he uses these games to string himself along and pass the time. Ouch. Also hashtag relatable content.

Glow: Paula shares next and talks about how she and her husband are both screen addicts and how they'll lie next to each other in bed, each on their own devices, ignoring the other, and how she wishes he would stop bringing the catastrophes of the world into their bed. She's lonely and sad and he doesn't see it because he doesn't look up from his phone. Starr Busby is incredible and, as a person who had to take an eight-month twitter break because she couldn’t handle the constant barrage of despair, I feel this song pretty hard.

Fugue State: Paula sets a metronome ticking for a five minute silent fugue state. The characters cycle through various thoughts about social media and the internet, calling out specific formatting for jokes and call out posts and "um actually"ing other people's comments in a whirlwind of commentary on how we interact with each other online. It's a very well put together song, but it's another one of those moments where it's clear this is a collection of songs about a concept rather than a narrative story.

Hymn: Monster: There's a five minute break, in which Henry approaches Velma, who's been quiet up to this point. She launches into a fast and awkward explanation of how she's on a self-imposed internet hiatus because she keeps getting tied up in discourse that's not good for her. She talks about being a part of a previous group that was not good and how she's since gotten into tarot instead, but there are parts of that group that aren't good, too (she delves into the Sephora Starter Witch Kit debacle), so instead she's taking a break and only talking to her one friend, whom she refers to constantly as "my friend." It was a very stark moment of self-recognition, tee bee aitch, and Velma is definitely the closest to the fannish millennial internet archetype. She says she found the group after Saul broke into a chat with her friend to tell her about it, so her friend said she had to come to check it out. After her monologue about all of this to Henry, the others return from their break to sing a hymn called "Monster" that talks about online trolls and how engaging with them and reading their exploits poisons your brain.

Solo: Karly and Ed alternate in this song, coming together in moments of similar sentiment. It's really an interesting way to handle the topics in question. Karly is singing about dating apps and how hard it is to find a dude who actually cares about her and the thin line between being asserting herself and the possibility of being the impetus for another MRA mass shooting. Ed, meanwhile, is a lonely dude who is on the verge of turning to the incel community because they can relate to his feelings of rejection and isolation. The whole thing is creepy and awful and very well blended--there's some empathy on both sides, while also making it clear how awful these dudes are.

Actually: This is Toby's song. Toby is a former punk kid turned conspiracy theorist. This is the song I struggled with the most. I just couldn't follow it narratively--I wasn't even 100% positive about the "conspiracy theorist" part until I could come home to read the lyrics. The lighting in this song was wonderful, though, and the ensemble was great. It just didn't click with me and it was harder for me to follow.

Little God: Dang, I loved this bit. It was the weirdest, and also had a distinctly Douglas Adams flavor, which was especially apt as I was attending the show on Towel Day. (So, honestly, it’s not surprising that I liked this bit so much, in retrospect.) Marvin, a neuroscientist, is up late with his new baby daughter when he has a vision from god. He chalks it up to a dream until god appears to him again the next morning. He goes to his lab, where all the other scientists have had a similar experience, and god appears to them in the visage of a little girl, whom they call Little God. They do a series of tests to prove whether god is real, and can manage to find scientific explanations for them all, trapped in this cycle of seeing wonderful things and then dissecting them clinically. Velma ends his story by telling him he's "The Hanged Man," the tarot card that represents everything one believes about oneself being flipped on its head.

Tower Tea Ceremony: The group starts a tea ceremony, passing around cups of tea, after which Paula comes around adding drops of something to the cups. Velma nervously asks what it is, and Paula calmly explains that it's a powerful group psychedelic that induces a five minute coma. Everyone else is chill with this, but Velma is visibly startled and nervous and does not drink her tea. Everyone else passes out, leaving her alone.

Beautiful: While everyone else is passed out, Velma sings her story. She was lonely and felt ugly and fat and stupid. She spent a lot of time alone and cut herself, but eventually found another girl just like her on the other side of the world. She had the same interests and liked the same things and felt the same way. She tells Velma that she's worthwhile and that there's light inside of her and, through seeing the same within her friend, she's able to start to accept that about herself. Kuhoo Verma is something else entirely on this song. It felt so personal and quiet and perfect. And, to be honest, it really anchored the show for me. After almost twenty-five years of being a nerdy, lonely kid on the internet, I tend to be very kneejerk protective of internet friendships. When people deride the internet as toxic, my urge is always to defend it because it's the source of all the good things in my life. I didn't have a lot of friends as a kid and I was socially anxious, but the internet was a way for me to meet other people who liked the same weird things I liked. These days that's a much more common, accepted story, but it was weird and new in 1996, so I spent a lot of years either lying about how I knew my friends or insisting that the internet wasn't just pedophiles and murderers. Obviously in the years since, the internet has grown into something bigger and, frequently, more toxic than I could have imagined at ten, eleven years old on the AOL Jonny Quest message boards. The urge to defend it has never gone away, however, and so I was obviously a little nervous about this show. But I trust Dave and I know that he's a big ol' nerd like the rest of us and doesn't pretend to be above our petty, silly forms of entertainment. And I'm glad I did, because it's important to me that this was the song he ended on--a quiet reminder that there's good to be found on the internet, that it's not all bad, that parts of it can be life-saving.

Hymn: The Field: The show ends with the group closing out their meeting with another hymn. Paula tells everyone next week’s meeting will be somewhere else and that she’ll email the details. Velma says she isn’t sure if she’ll come back, and she’s told that it doesn’t matter—the same people don’t always come week to week, but Saul will make sure there are eight people in attendance. The hymn is a nice, sweet song about coming together beyond the fighting and ugliness to appreciate each other and the world.

So, yeah, overall, I enjoyed it. I really needed to sit and think about it for a little bit after first seeing it, and I think repeat listenings will find a lot more to enjoy about it. Like I said, there’s not so much a story or narrative to get lost in, but the individual songs hold up well in the loose framework of the show, and a lot of them are both catchy and thought-provoking in a very Malloy way. I’m glad I got to see it, and I’m interested to see where it goes from here, if anywhere.

[goboymusic]

It’s Friday. It was refreshing seeing all of the #MerryChristmas greetings last month from businesses and people alike, even though I’m not religious. It’s like everyone uniformly thought “fuck it, I’m just going to say what I want to say this year.” I often think the political correctness stuff is a little too petty.

One’s primordial desire to get with an older woman. That’s what “Older Woman” is about. Excuse me while I use the hashtags #milf #cougar #matron #olderwoman

This was meant to be song 61, but I had enough difficulty mixing it that it was abandoned. About a month later, I reopened the abandoned Logic Pro file and managed to patch it up enough to warrant a release.

The opening bass line was the first thing written for “Older Woman,” and the rest of the song sprung from it.

What else can I say about this song without digging myself a hole? Older women yeah!!!!!

This is GoBoy’s SUPER minimalistic phase. Some will be turned off by the simplicity of GoBoy 4 songs.

“Nightcall” by Kavinsky teaches us that the verses of a song can be identical (essentially copied and pasted) and people won’t notice as long as they’re spaced far enough apart and the song is catchy enough. It took about 10 or so streams of “Nightcall” before I realized that the verses are identical. This idea of having identical verses (with maybe a tiny bit of variation) would be utilized for this song and others on GoBoy 4, 6 and 7, the most recent being “Don’t (Song 121)” (excerpts from post 56).

After dabbling in bubblegum pop for the 2nd half of GoBoy 3, my original plan was to focus on lyrically driven content for GoBoy 4. The release of ”Everything Will Be Okay (Song 69)” changed my mind, as the focus on dark lyrics impacted my mental state for months afterwards. Focusing on the dark elements of your own life for long enough can turn you into a neurotic mess (the original song “Everything Will Be Okay” had a 3rd verse the delved darker). My focus would shift to bubblegum pop from that point forward, which would impact this song. Music would be made for enjoyment and catchiness, not necessarily for conveying a message. I don’t regret this shift in focus… yet (excerpts from post 60).

A bass boost was added to songs 37-99 in Nov, 2021, while I was stuck at home with covid. As a result, this song feels more powerful. The bass boost isn’t a simple plugin nonchalantly added to each song. It’s a process that took about 3.5 hours per song, or one whole month to complete all songs. Admittedly, I pushed the bass boost a little too far for some of them. The bass in some songs sounds like a freaking earthquake (unnecessarily pronounced low frequencies 20 - 50 Hz). Might dial that back someday. The bass boost was also applied to every song on GoBoy 6 and beyond (excerpt from post 37).

[smithpublicity]

Creativity and Author Branding Help Promote Books

Given the competition in today's bookselling marketplace, authors and publishers face significant headwinds when promoting new titles. If you ask a book publicist, they'll tell you a well-rounded promotional campaign is your best bet. The goal is to reach target audiences with news about the book and its launch. It can happen online and in traditional media – ideally, both working together. Doing it successfully takes both skill and patience (and time). While some authors handle things DIY and go it alone, most benefit from the services of a professional book marketing firm with extensive experience.

eBooks are a category to look at when you're planning a book promotion campaign. Experience so far shows that their readers are highly responsive to promotions. It often means selling downloads at a reduced price. While they may not be your most profitable sales, the downloads will show sales activity and move your book higher on the recommendation charts of large online booksellers. When you're on those charts, and more shoppers find out about your book, it can help sales. Therefore, what starts as promotion ends up being a sales-building program. Marketing pros can help you decide on a discount.

In all aspects of your book promotion effort, eBook discounts and otherwise, creativity reigns supreme. Your campaign needs unique elements to stand out. If you are seeking media coverage, make sure you're current with what's in the news. If you're a nonfiction author, you can be an expert source talking about what's making headlines. It's easier to become a part of the news than to make it yourself. It's okay to branch out even if topics aren't directly mentioned in your book. The media constantly have deadlines, and if you provide needed information and are a credible source, you'll be included.

You being quoted and covered in the media contributes to author branding, which is one of the essential elements of book PR. You can also brand your book (some authors chafe at the suggestion, but in many ways, books are products) with your title, subtitle, cover colors, and catchy hashtags on social media. The purpose of branding is to help people associate you and your book with its genre and value in the marketplace. Given today's information overload, you need every possible advantage working for you to sell copies. Writing your book is only half the battle. Selling it is the other crucial component.

[beforethexstorm-archived-blog]

DAZ GAMES rp memes

"I have so many questions."

"What in the hell!?"

"I don't know how much more I can take of this stupidity."

"You sound like Michael Jackson trying to get into a cold bath."

"This is why you don't inbreed, guys."

"What's with the face you made? Did someone just tickle the back of your brain?"

"My life is sponsored by Taco-Bell."

"This is the whitest shit I've ever seen."

"I don't mean to be horrible but that was awful. That sounded like actual hell."

"You're like 30 or something and you're on a spider frame! Get off!"

"Happens all the time when I try to throw an exercise ball in a basket ball hoop!"

"I feel like this is an advert for mid-life crisis."

"Is that a child-friendly version of the Human Centipede?"

"Walk, walk walk? Skip, skip, skip? Fuck no."

"Walk walk walk. Skip skip skip. Tickle. Restraining order!"

"Hashtag stuffed!? What does that mean? Is there someone in the background stuffing a fucking chicken!? Hashtag stuffed!"

"400 likes? That's cute? I get that in a minute."

"Look at him. He's clearly a twat."

"Yeah the man with tissues and a lotion shamelessly not put away has suddenly grown a conscience."

"I'm going to slap you so hard you'll come out of your fucking hoodie."

"What are you learning!? How to not show up!?"

"How about you stop being a massive twat bag?"

"Who are you talking to? Your cake dealer?"

"Okay, that's catchy as shit."

"They all dressed up as Ellen Degeneres and didn't tell each other."

"I just woke up a fucking hour ago, I'm not ready for this shit."

"I do want his jacket. I'd own that shit."

"Felt like I've just done drugs and woken up here, but everything's fine."

"The earring looks like a fucking chandelier."

"He looks like where's Wally."

"Can I not go away for five minutes without you killing someone?

"I thought I was just texting, not depleting my sperm count."

"Oh well. I shook him three times and he didn't get up. He's dead."

"You're like one!"

"We'll do fuck-all."

"Girl, you need to shut the fuck up."

"Why is her name in someone's mouth? She's got a lipstick brand? I don't know, I'm just trying to put two and two together."

"Oh shit, love. She likes her marshmallows medium rare."

"That is just so medium-rare it's non-existent."

"Alright. Before the underage porn comes in, we're going to leave it there."

"Being ugly is not really going to affect anyone. Let me tell you what really affect people: being a bitch!"

"You look like someone stepped on a goldfish."

"I don't even get in a jacuzzi with strangers, let along with a crocodile in a lake!"

"Stop stroking it! What's the matter with you!?"

"Is that a coconut cup? I want a coconut cup!"

"Stay dazzling!"

"Is it turkey time? It's turkey time!"

"Oh for fuck's sakes. You had to pop up from somewhere, didn't you?"

"Don't sing to the drumstick! Eat it!"

"It's a fucking feminist thing, isn't it? It's Buzzfeed, of course it is."

"I'm six foot fucking tall and almost the same sideways."

"I constantly have to remind myself that I can't punch a woman but you know what? You want equality? Let me punch you."

"You pasta-eating moron."

"That's because no one gives any seven shades of fuck!"

"Oh. Okay, Harry Pharrell fucking Potter."

"It's people like this I want to pUNCH."

"Ugh, God... Why do Youtubers rap?"

"I think there's something you wanna confess to your mother. You're the one who fucked up her pillow cases. Seriously, what the fuck are you wearing!?"

"I got an idea. How about fUCKING NO?"

"What's the matter with you!? Where's your parents!?"

"I had a gay moment just there and I think all men have gay moments. Especially when talking about Lady Gaga. And it's okay, alright?"

"I can't stand those poofy dresses. You're always having to hold them up and move along like you're moving a fucking fridge."

"I think you got the wrong photo here, because this just looks like a Victorian funeral."

"It just doesn't rain spunk on every Wednesday!"

"Yes, you have my permission to punch him/her/them in the tits."

"You know when you get so many jokes and your brain stops working? That's what happened."

"Aw, look at our little boy. He's like a mini 50 Cent. He's a 5 Cent."

"There's so much autotune when you sing that you sound like R2D2."

"Man... Someone's got daddy issues."

"Fuck, is that his soul or is he vaping?"

"That's me. Your boi."

"Okay, if you keep doing that, I'm gonna have to rip your head off."

[prismmarketing]

Is it possible to monetize YouTube videos? Some Have Already Been!

How has the success of YouTube Shorts been so far, and can they be monetized? Learn how to make Shorts profitable and understand how the short-form video format works from Prism Digital Marketing one of the best video marketing companies in Dubai.

 On March 18, 2021, YouTube Shorts made its debut in the United States. The new short-form video experience, which YouTube describes as “...for producers and artists who want to film short, catchy videos using nothing but their mobile phones,” is still in its early stages.

 According to a post on the Official YouTube Blog by Todd Sherman, the Product Lead of YouTube Shorts, the player has already topped 6.5 billion daily global views. Since the beginning of December, the number of Indian channels employing creation tools (where they are being beta tested) has more than tripled.

 Will YouTube Shorts Become Popular?

 We previously said that there are three target audiences for YouTube Shorts: 

● Artists and creators.

● Subscribers and viewers.

● Brands and advertisers.

 And, as I previously stated, if creators and artists don't see an increase in the number of viewers and subscribers that advertisers and marketers want to target, this three-legged stool will topple over faster than you can say "Vine."

 That's why I didn't focus on the new editing capabilities, which could do things like link together various video clips. The fact that short, vertical videos will be "easily discoverable on the YouTube homepage (on the new Shorts shelf), as well as across other portions of the app" was the deciding factor.

 So, has YouTube's new Shorts shelf altered the way videos are discovered?

 When Sherman announced the launch of YouTube Shorts in the United States, he made it clear that creation was simply one aspect of the service. YouTube also sought to make it easier for viewers to discover Shorts and artists, hence the new section on the homepage dedicated to them.

 He continued,

 “As more people make and watch Shorts, we expect our systems to improve, allowing us to better assist you in discovering new material, trends, and artists you'll enjoy.”

 According to YouTube, it is continually experimenting with new methods to present content, and Shorts can currently be accessed in the following places: 

● On YouTube's home page and in the Shorts section.

● By default, featured on channel pages.

● By selecting the module titled "What to Watch Next."

● Using the YouTube search engine.

● Subscription feeds for users.

 Creators should use the hashtag #Shorts in the title or description of their film to help it get discovered and featured on YouTube. So, what else can you do to make your YouTube Shorts more optimized?

 What's Working for Creators of YouTube Shorts

 Take a peek at some of the most popular Shorts from the last few weeks to get a sense of what people are watching. According to Tubular Labs, the YouTube video with the most views was uploaded on or after March 18, 2021, and it was only 1:00 in length. “THIS NEARLY GAVE HIM A HEART ATTACK!” it says.

 It was uploaded by Woody & Kleiny Extra on March 26, 2021, and it presently has a view count of almost 140 million. Oh, and the hashtags #shorts, #comedy, and #bestfriends are all used.

 This is, without a doubt, a prank video. That's a genre that's been around since CarrieNYC's "Telekinetic Coffee Shop Surprise" received 74.9 million views in October 2013. Nonetheless, Woody & Kleiny Extra deserves credit for repackaging this classic wine in a new bottle. It's also worth mentioning that Woody & Kleiny Extra are from the United Kingdom.

Is YouTube Shorts available in that nation already? Certainly not. Many stations in various regions of the world are interested in attracting American viewers and subscriptions. Is it true that this worked? During the two weeks leading up to the posting of "THIS NEARLY GAVE HIM A HEART ATTACK!" the channel received 180 million views and 275,000 subscribers.

 In the two weeks after the prank film was uploaded, it received 330 million views and 389,000 subscribers (47.7 percent of their YouTube audiences come from the U.S., while 7.8 percent come from the U.K.). The authors of their Short also encourage visitors to subscribe to our main channel in the description.

 In the two weeks after the prank film was released to their secondary channel, their primary channel received 5.5 million views and 20,000 subscribers.

 “TwinsFromRussia latest tiktok #shorts” is in second place. This 0:31-long film, which was uploaded on March 22, 2021, has already received 81.3 million views (notice the #shorts hashtag in the title).

 “Good always wins bad!” question identical twins Kirill and Filipp Revega, award-winning performers, musicians, bloggers, and public characters, in a pinned comment to their video. “Are you in agreement?”

 Although it dates back to Aesop's tales, this genre is relatively new to YouTube. Who knows, maybe we'll start seeing other Shorts that deliver a story's moral in under a minute.

 “The Tiktok food Challenge #shorts” is in third place. Tiktoriki's amusing video.” This 0:23-long film, which was uploaded on March 24, 2021, has already had 80.3 million views. The hashtag appears in the title once again.

 What genre do you think this video belongs in? It's similar to a mukbang, when two hosts eat varying amounts of food while conversing with the audience. This genre first gained popularity in South Korea in 2010, and it has since become a significant global craze. Why not adopt mukbang shorts? Since March 18, 2021, 96,900 accounts have uploaded 525,000 videos to YouTube with the hashtag #shorts.

 In the three weeks ending April 8, 2021, they collectively received 17.4 billion (with a "b") views. So, how popular are YouTube Shorts? Without a doubt.

 Can YouTube Shorts Be Profited From?

 Now we come to the crux of the matter: can YouTube Shorts be made profitable? If you watch the three short-form videos mentioned above again, you'll see that they all contain advertisements.

 However, keep in mind that there are two types of Shorts:

 ● The first is content made with the Shorts camera, which has a 15-second time limit.

● The other is any vertical video with the hashtag #Shorts in the title or description that is less than 60 seconds long.

 We shouldn't be surprised to learn that the lengthier version of Shorts is supported by advertisements. This could explain why the lengthier version is used in nearly three-quarters of the films published with the #Shorts hashtag since March 18, 2021. Is this to imply that making a shorter version of Shorts is a "faith-based initiative"?

 Let's take a look at Sherman's post once more.

 Near the end, he discusses how YouTube has aided a generation of creators in turning their passion into a business, paying out more than $30 billion to them in the last three years. Okay, that's OK. But what about Shorts' shorter version?

 Sherman continued,

 “Because Shorts is a new way to watch and produce on YouTube, we're rethinking how to commercialize Shorts and reward creators for their work.”

 They're still figuring out how to monetize this format in the future, so stay tuned for more information. Alternatively, the solution may already be hiding in plain sight, as I suspect.

 YouTube unveiled BrandConnect on June 16, 2020, promising to make it easier for creators and marketers to be more real and effective. Henry Scott-Green, the Product Manager of YouTube BrandConnect, said in a post on the Official YouTube Blog unveiling insights-based matchmaking tools to provide eligible creators additional access to sponsored content:

 “Our proactive matchmaking delivers highly engaging and relevant sponsored content because of the connection that creators have with their followers. And it's working: the average deal size across the complete service package has increased by more than 260 percent in the last two years.”

 He went on to say that new measurement tools like Brand Interest Lift, Influencer Lift, and organic view-through dialogues would provide more accountability and real-time marketing results. He explained that this allows marketers to assess the impact and return on investment of influencer marketing on YouTube.

BrandConnect's first launch was hampered by a number of problems, including the COVID-19 epidemic and early eligibility limits. (Only creators with 25,000+ subscribers in the United States were eligible.) So, if YouTube is looking at future revenue options, my utterly unscientific wild guess is that one of them will likely be reducing the constraints for BrandConnect participation.

 Keep an eye out for more developments. Prism Digital Marketing a local video marketing agency will keep you updated and can help you in creating Shorts that will trend and will be very profitable.

[protagonistheavy]

Shitblast about the Pokemon Presentation incoming:

That sucked the life out of me to be totally, un-exaggeratedly honest. It sucked pretty much any care I could have about Pokemon for a good couple of years at least. The downward slant of the franchise is just ridiculously obvious, and genuinely I don’t think I want to buy into the series anymore -- I’ve gotten burned enough times to not even try and get hyped for anything as ugly as the DP remakes or Legends.

Before I even get into the games they talked about, I just want to rag on that opening video thing. The huge montage of all the different things the pokemon franchise has, uh, infected I guess. Am I the only one that was really, really put-off by this? It just seemed like such a huge ass pat for themselves, like, “woo-hoo, look at our millions of dollars we spent on NOT the video games.” And it’s not even structured in some kind of catchy song, it’s just people chanting out hashtags that pop up on screen. It’s so cheaply made and they do shit like this pretty much every fucking year, I’m sorry but I just found this whole thing to be a waste of time. It didn’t get me hyped for anything to come, that’s for sure, it just reminded me that I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting for Pokemon to actually progress itself and catch up with a modern market.

Pokemon Snap was the only cool thing from the presentation, and that’s a game we’ve already known about and is honestly too simple to fail. They would have to REALLY fuck up a game as straightforward as Snap. And this presentation didn’t bring any exciting new light to the game, just confirming that yes, yes you will indeed be taking pictures of pokemon, and then sharing those pictures with friends. Everything they’ve talked about is just the natural modernizations I’d expect from any game claiming to be about photography and made in 2021. The most exciting thing they could show off was the illumination item thing, which is just sorta, okay I guess.

The DP remake was disheartening. I honestly wish they didn’t even bother, and just ported the game as-it-was to the Switch.

I hate these graphics. And no, no it’s not some “style.” This isn’t a stylistic choice, this isn’t a “theme,” whatever this toddler’s toy aesthetic is supposed to be. It isn’t. It’s a budget constraint -- it’s a compromise. And I honestly hate that people are trying to defend it as some sort of art style, when I know 100% they would never defend another game like this nearly as hard. They would look at ANY game with graphics this shit and call it out.

There’s this excuse that it’s an art style theme, akin to Link’s Awakening remake on the Switch. Except, did people forget that Link’s Awakening actually looked good? Because it was actually designed to look like everything was a miniature. They used proper shading and texturing to sell that aesthetic, to make it look pleasing to the eye. Link’s Awakening is proud of its graphics and it does as much as it can visually to lean on that aesthetic. These DP remakes? There’s no heart put into this “art direction” at all. The textures are all plastic and flat and even downright muddy -- compare any screenshot of the remake to an original location and you’ll see how awful the colors are now, and how vague some of the models are after having been transformed from sprites. There’s no intent at all from the devs to actually include the polish necessary to make this style work -- it’s not an art style decision, it’s a budget constraint. They chose this design for the game because it would be easy to make, even easier to animate, and they could then justify slapping both of these games with $60 price tags. And yeah I get it -- “we don’t know how much these games are going to be!” -- no we do, it’s going to be fucking $60 like anything else released on the Switch, but if you seriously think this is worth $50 or even $40, then whatever, spend your damn money.

And yeah I am bitter that this is against precedent of the previous remakes. Every other remake before this had the time taken to update the graphics and direction to modern standards, and every remake was better because of it. It was refreshing to revisit these older worlds with modern sensibilities and an updated perspective -- the whole appeal of updating these older games is to give them the love and depth that technology at the time wouldn’t allow. At least that’s the appeal for me, I guess there’s a LOT of people out there whose appeal to Pokemon as a franchise is just buying whatever fucking comes out next and just mashing that A button into a state of satisfaction. This bums me out so bad that instead of getting something with passion and care, we get the absolute cheapest output; a remake that doesn’t promise anything new or exciting, burdened with absolute shit graphics.

And again, this style just sucks. It isn’t cute lol. I guess some people are gonna be into it, that’s fine I guess, but wow I don’t believe a single person that claims “this is what I imagined DP to be like.” No you didn’t, fuck the shut up? You’re really going to tell me that, in your most immersed state of playing this game, you imagined everything to be these fucking toddler toys? Okay you’re just on your own for that one -- I and every other normal human did not think of the DP world as some chibi fantasyland full of lego people. I hate that this is even excused as being some sort of “hark back” to the older art style -- the older art style wasn’t toy-themed or plastic-themed! What the fuck are people trying to pull here? It’s such a shame that DP had amazing sprite work and a wonderful world and an enticing story, but its remake is just going to underplay all of that, abandon it all just so it can have some gimmicky art style -- at best it’s a gimmicky art style riding the coattails of Link’s Awakening, and at worst it’s a budget cut done to make the game as cheap as possible to shit out.

I’m so disappointed in this. I was really looking forward to experiencing DP as a remake, I’ve never played this generation before. I wanted to play the remakes because I didn’t want to adapt to the older logic of the games, and I wanted to be able to bring in my own pokemon, have my own adventure. I wanted another experience like ORAS or HGSS. I didn’t want to go through the work of trying to play the original in a reasonable way. But since this is the direction of the remake, to make it look cheap as hell and totally heartless, then I’m just forced to play the original, and that sucks on a lot of layers.

And then Legends of Arceus or whatever.

Look. I want to like this game. And realistically I do like the idea of this game. But just like the DP remake, it looks like it’s the absolute cheapest response to what fans have been asking for, and it looks like it just wants to ride off the success of another, better franchise. I’ll make a wish now that I hope this game proves to be so much better than it looks in this presentation.

But wow, wow. I don’t think that’s going to happen. This looks like full-on garbage.

I wanted a BotW-like Pokemon game ever since, well, BotW. I think an open-world format would do wonders for the Pokemon formula, and SwSh had potential with its Wild Areas. But again, all the cheapest choices have been made. This game reeks of developers being told that fans want a BotW-styled Pokemon game, and then responding by just inserting pokemon assets into a beta test world of BotW. They didn’t show anything that looked promising for Pokemon gameplay, they just showed elements that are enough to convince an audience, “trust us, this is an open-world, with open-world mechanics -- like stealth! Rolling into bushes! Isn’t that cool? Isn’t this how you want to catch pokemon?”

It’s heartless. The developers clearly don’t care about making an open-world pokemon game; they’re interested in making pokemon an open-world game, the difference being that they don’t care about actually organically mixing the two. It’s just going to be a slop of open-world mechanics, set in an open-world that has no reason to be explored and is ugly as sin to look at, with mechanics designed to slow you down and fill in that 40-60 hour expectation. And I say this with as much confidence as I do because if they did have anything interesting to mention about Legends, they would have fucking said it -- they would have highlighted where pokemon gameplay intercepts open-world gameplay in a meaningful way, they would have brought attention to new mechanics that could only work in an open-world pokemon game.

They didn’t. They showed off a player character rolling into some bushes, and manually throwing a pokeball.

And that’s just the gameplay. Can’t we all agree this game is visual vomit? Just utterly fucking terrible to look at? There are literally fangames with SUCH better graphics. And there’s no excuse here like “oh it doesn’t LOOK like shit, looking-like-shit is its aesthetic!” No it just looks terrible on every level. The textures are so fucking muddy and stretched. The terrain is cobbled together and without inspiration; flat fields, angular hills, and randomly placed trees and bushes, all of which are rendered so badly that you can always see how 2D they are. The player models are uncomfortably stiff and expressionless. And the pokemon? The fucking pokemon?

Why do the pokemon look so fucking ugly? What’s the goddamn excuse? We see pokemon in the overworld, moving around and prancing about -- and they’re animated at like ten frames per second. That’s being generous! These pokemon look like they had three frames of animation to swap between! What the fuck is this?! Sword and Shield have overworld pokemon running around, and those didn’t need significant frame cuts! So how the hell did they manage to stumble so far backwards?! Why is this even a fucking challenge...?!?! Why do I have to be gaslit to believe that video games can’t do more than this? There are so many games doing so much, so much fucking more in even just one second of gameplay. So many games with intense graphics, explosive effects, tons of enemies and players on-screen, all this happening at once... sometimes online... and yet Pokemon still can’t even animate a fucking monkey dancing around in an empty field. What the fuck is the excuse here? How can they honestly show off this gameplay footage and feel proud of their work, without at least saying something like, “This is early-as-fuck test footage of the game, this is like one week into development, this is why it looks so ugly and unpolished.”

You know those throwaway junk games on Steam? That sell for like three or five dollars, and it’s just a really terrible FPS set in a generic wasteland environment? Yeah THOSE games look ten times better than this shit. There are so many pokemon fangames that exist that do this exact concept but DON’T look like utter garbage on the eyes at the same time. It’s baffling -- why is it so difficult for them to not make an ugly-as-sin game? Why does it have to be this way? How can the Switch host a game like BotW or Mario Odyssey but it can’t fucking handle Pokemon?

And this idea doesn’t even sound fun, the concept of being in the “ancient past” of the Sinnoh region just isn’t what I wanted. When I wanted an open-world Pokemon game, I expected it to be... you know, pokemon! I expected gyms or some kind of equivalent, I imagined it having modern sensibilities... But instead it’s this really gimmicky concept, because I guess the devs can’t possibly imagine the normal pokemon world even possibly engaging with something new and different -- no, we have to go to effectively a whole other planet just to let players have pokemon in an open world.

Ultimately these games are fucking disgusting to look at and it’s so disappointing to see them in this state. The DP remakes chose a cheap art style not because they thought it complemented Sinnoh or its story, but because it was the bare minimum to making the game and justifying a $60 price tag. Legends of Arceus has potential, but it’s showing right off the bat that it doesn’t have the manpower or passion behind it to actually live up to it, making it just another cash grab that relies on chasing the coattails of a more successful franchise. And both seem like insulting cheap answers to the two things die-hard pokemon fans have been asking for, making this situation all the worse.

The Pokemon Company doesn’t care, and neither do I anymore. I genuinely don’t see myself playing another pokemon game. It’s so sad because these games are full of potential, and a long-term commitment is obviously one of its appeals. But if this is the direction of the franchise, then fuck me. I don’t want to support ugly-as-hell spinoffs that exist only to shut up the fanbase, I hate how Sword and Shield came out and I hated how scummy the DLC was to add onto it. This series is blatantly trying to rob players by producing as absolute little as possible, they want to make money out of nothing, and I’m not coughing up that money anymore. This is ridiculous. Sword and Shield being so disappointing was one thing... the DLC being cashgrabs for material that should’ve just been post-game content was mind-numbing... but these two games looking like total garbage is on another level. It’s beyond disappointing; it’s insulting that they would even bother making these games with as little heart as they are, so clearly and obviously making games that they know players will shell out cash for regardless of its quality.

I hope the fanbase really matures and wisens up to this because that’s why we’re in this mess. You’re allowed to enjoy this “art style” of the DP remakes, you’re allowed to be hyped for the new gameplay of Legends... but please, for the love of god, have some higher standards than this. Please look at what other game companies can do with their games, and how much they charge, and how much fulfillment and content is in those games. We need to expect more from the literal most-profitable franchise of all time -- they have the resources, they have the capabilities, they choose to be lazy so that they can get as much money out of us as possible. It’s got to be put to an end. Please ask for more from these games. Please don’t settle for these games “because at least they’re still pokemon,” “because at least the pokemon battles are the same,” “because at least the older games are still technically playable.”

After all this, I just don’t believe Pokemon anymore when it tries to sell itself “to everybody.” That’s just plain not true. Their core audience is the dumbest of 10 year-olds and the dumbest of die-hard fans. They don’t care about their community any deeper than their wallets.