#the love you told us had to come or we die / talking love talking revolution which is love spelled backwards

[firstfullmoon]

Diane di Prima, “April Fool Birthday Poem for Grandpa”

[firelilyfox]

Nightmares & Soft Words

Dune : Paul Atreides x female reader

Warnings : fluff / mention of loosing someone / mention of war / teasing

You had a nightmare & Paul comforts you

(English is not my first language so please excuse spelling and grammatical mistakes)

Words : 1033

______________________________

Your breathing is shallow as you wake up in the middle of the night because of another horrible dream. Beside you lays Paul who is still peacefully sleeping. His dark curls have managed to fall all over his beautiful face and you resist the urge to touch it to remind you that you are back in reality. Weeks have passed since you were able to sleep peacefully. Too much worries and sorrows filled your mind with fear.

Fear to loose Paul. Fear to see all your friends die. Fear that this brutal war will never end. 

But you haven’t told him about any of that. Paul has such a big responsibility to carry around, that the thought alone telling him about your stupid litte nightmares was pathetic. He deserves to rest and not have to think about his girlfriend being anxious about something that hasn’t even happened yet. 

You take a last look at him and deciding to go for a litte walk through the halls of your underground home. The massive, old stonewalls always seemed to calm you down since you were a little kid. You imagined all the stories that they had been witnessed and all of the Fremen that were here before. 

Every footstep of yours sends a little echo through the empty hallways and while you let your thoughts run free, you somehow find your way to the waters of the souls that died for the greater good. Normally this place would make people sad, but for the Fremen it is a great honor to still be a part of the remaining for eternity. 

The torches on the walls flickers and their light is reflected by the water, wich made the big hall looked warm and gloomy. Before you could take a seat near the water, something catches your attention. Paul was leaning against a wall right behind you. The look on his face made you nervous. 

„Why are you up? Did something happen?“ 

He comes towards you with a frown. „That’s what I should ask you, Y/N. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?“ 

„Oh it’s nothing. I-I just needed fresh air“, you shrugged. 

Paul shakes his head with a smile of disbelief. „You are terrible at lying, love.“ He puts his arms around you and pulls you closer to him. You let him, but still trying to avoid direct eye contact. You are more than sure about the fact, that Paul would be able to see all the horrible things you dreamed about in less than a second. So you just leaned against his touch and trying your best to put on an effortlessly smile for him. 

„Really it’s nothing. Maybe I ate something wrong or haven’t drank enough. We should go back to bed.“ You are trying to get out of his grip, but instead you can feel it tightened around your waist. 

„I won’t let you go anywhere now, until you told me the truth. You seem upset and I will be dammed if I let you go back to sleep like that.“ Paul puts his finger under your chin to force you softly to look at him. That’s when you start to tear up a little. „Talk to me, love.“ 

You sigh. „I had a nightmare again.“ 

His thumb softly wipes away a tear that was rolling down your cheek. „You haven’t told me you were haunted by nightmares before.“ 

„I didn’t want to stress you about something pathetic like that. With all that is going on with the war and the revolution right now … and the Fremen seeing you as their leader … there is no room for something irrelevant like that.“ 

Paul shuts you up with a soft kiss on the lips. Your hands grabbing the thin fabric of his shirt to hold him close to you. 

„Never say something like that again or I’m forced to use the voice on you to get rid of that stupid idea that your nightmares are irrelevant or that there is no room for you coming to me with your problems.“ His words were determining but his voice sounded so very soft, that your heart melted a bit. „I couldn’t possibly do any of this … crazy Lisan al Gaib stuff without knowing that you are alright by my side.“ 

You couldn’t hold back a little smile. „You are very good at finding the right words, Usul.“ 

You using his Fedaykin-Name always had the impact of lightens up his gaze. It reminds him, that you two are very much equal and that he is a part of something worth fighting for. 

„Now tell me what this nightmares are about.“ 

And you did. You told him everything while going back to your room and he hold your hand the entire time. The words came out like a waterfall but now that you hear them out loud, they not seemed so scary anymore. You felt the moment the tension left your body when the two of you got back to bed, lying next to each other so close that no nightmare can come between. 

„If you ever have thoughts like that you need to tell me, love. It is unbearable to me if I can’t be sure, that you and that pretty little head of yours are doing okay.“ He tapped his finger against your forehead. „Do you understand?“ 

„I do understand. But for now…“ You say while you sit up again and take a seat on his lap with spread legs. Paul leaned back on his forearms, admiring you as if there is nothing more beautiful in this world. And to him, there is none. „For now my head is doing more than just okay.“ 

He gives you a little smirk. „That’s good to know. Maybe there is a way we could make your body feel the same way.“ Paul grabs your hips and you start kissing him passionately while your fingers run through his hair. A dark sound escapes his throat as you are slowly moving your hips to create pressure to his growing length between your legs. 

„We should figure out how good you can make me feel, Muad’Dib.“ 

[infiniteglitterfall]

holy shit, they actually took out Ismail Haniyeh

(And that other guy, who I've never heard of but is apparently the Hezbollah leader responsible for the deaths of those 12 Israeli Druze kids playing soccer the other day.)

I have quoted Haniyeh so many times over the past ten months. Not out of admiration. Out of the eternal need to explain to people that HAMAS IS BAD, ACTUALLY. It is NOT "the Palestinian resistance."

Apart from everything else, Hamas staged a violent coup in 2007, kicking the Palestinian government out of Gaza, and has run it as a dictatorship ever since.

I really, really want to talk (more than I already do) about the actual Palestinian resistance. But I think that has to be another post. Because I am not going to be able to shut up about Haniyeh long enough yet.

Haniyeh was essentially the leader of Hamas. The quote I keep going back to is from late last October, from an interview with him that aired on Al-Jazeera TV:

“The blood in the Gaza Strip... the blood of the children, women, and elderly... we need this blood so that it will ignite within us the spirit of revolution, so that it will arouse within us persistence, so that it will arouse within us defiance and advance.”

That's just plain vampire talk.

I don't think he was a vampire. I think if we were in an alternate universe in which any Hamas leader was going to turn out to have secretly been a vampire, it would be Sinwar.

And that dude's not turning anybody else. He's gonna want to keep them for snacks.

I've seen many tweets from Gazans who are fucking pissed that Hamas started a war they did not want, and then basically told them they should die to get it all fired up. Like... maybe calm your tits, Haniyeh??

Listen, I know "calm your tits" is an almost comically inadequate response to this dude. It is going to sound unserious as all hell. But this is all I have to offer at this point.

The man was not interested in calming his fucking tits.

He had a history of saying shit like this. (E.g. in 2014 he said, “We love death like our enemies love life!” CALM YOUR FUCKING TITS, I AM BEGGING YOU.)

He was one of those dictators who has a completely inappropriate and hopefully impossible mission in mind -- okay, yes, fine, that does describe ALL dictators.

This 2011 quote from him (on Hamas's Al-Aqsa TV) describes his mission, and Hamas's, well enough:

“We say today, explicitly, so it cannot be explained otherwise, that the armed resistance and the armed struggle are the path and the strategic choice for liberating the Palestinian land, from the sea to the river, and for the expulsion of the invaders and usurpers from the blessed land of Palestine.

"The Hamas movement will lead intifada after intifada until we liberate Palestine – all of Palestine, Allah willing. Allah Akbar and praise Allah.

"We say with transparency and in a clear manner, that Palestinian reconciliation – and all sides must know this – cannot come at the expense of principles, at the expense of the resistance."

(By "reconciliation," he means letting the Palestinian government run Gaza again -- not by Hamas stepping down, but by the two working jointly to run all of Palestine.

Which would be absolutely fucking disastrous for everyone involved, other than the people in power. Fatah does not have a strong record itself on freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of choice, etc. It's not able to provide any counterbalance to Hamas's 17 years of absolutely brutal methods of crushing dissent.

Anyway, Haniyeh wasn't done talking.)

"These principles are absolute and cannot be disputed: Palestine—all of Palestine—is from the sea to the river. We won't relinquish one inch of the land of Palestine. The involvement of Hamas at any stage with the interim objective of liberation of Gaza, the West Bank, or Jerusalem, does not replace its strategic view concerning Palestine and the land of Palestine.”

The reason is that Hamas's 1988 founding charter, which is an absolutely wild ride, holds that the entire land is an Islamic Waqf. Meaning that it's "consecrated for future Muslim generations until Judgement Day. It, or any part of it, should not be squandered: it, or any part of it, should not be given up… This Waqf remains as long as earth and heaven remain. Any procedure in contradiction to Islamic Sharia, where Palestine is concerned, is null and void."

(That quote, and the wild ride, are in the de-paywalled article below)

This is something Hamas itself came up with. Obviously there are many places there that are holy to Muslims, Jews, and/or Christians.

But Hamas independently decided that not only was the ENTIRE PLACE holy, it was all For Muslims Only: not to be sold to or by anyone else, etc.

(Wikipedia calls it "a relatively recent belief... forming part of the group's mythology," and cites political scholar Yitzhak Reiter, who calls it "a novel politically-oriented myth, rooted neither in Islamic legal texts nor in historical practice.")

He's apparently being portrayed as something of a moderate in a lot of media coverage about his death.

I can see the temptation to consider him a moderate by comparison with, say, Hamas military commander Muhammad Deif, because it's Haniyeh, not the military, who's been involved in ceasefire negotiations.

But fuck, there's no such thing as a grade curve steep enough to make this guy a moderate. Even his ceasefire negotiations were not moderate.

Haniyeh has been perfectly clear and consistent: "We are committed to our demands: the permanent ceasefire, comprehensive and complete withdrawal of the enemy out of the Gaza Strip, the return of all displaced people to their homes, allowing all aid needed for our people in Gaza, rebuilding the Strip, lifting the blockade and achieving an honourable prisoner exchange deal."

You cannot: * invade, * burn 12 villages to the ground while trying to kill everyone in them, * take -- what was the final count, 262 hostages? -- including a literal infant who, if still alive, has now spent more of his life as a hostage than not, * publicly state you will repeat the attack "again and again and again" until Israel is violently destroyed, * then say that your requirements for hostage return are (1) Israel stops trying to eliminate Hamas and go home, (2) everyone in Gaza goes home, (3) Israel has to agree to rebuild the Strip, (4) Israel has to lift the blockade on weapon supplies, (5) unspoken lack of a limit on a Hamas ceasefire, and THEN (6) you'll NEGOTIATE hostage return. Not "return the hostages," but NEGOTIATE how many prisoners Israel has to release for each hostage. Which gives Hamas the option to say that it couldn't reach an agreement and not release anybody.... * And be a moderate.

Like, by that standard, Netanyahu is even more moderate. Possibly even liberal.

And I don't think ANYBODY (short of Ben-Gvir, maybe) is calling Netanyahu a moderate. Giving ceasefire demands that are not for a ceasefire. That instead say, "end the war with zero requirements for us and we'll consider returning your hostages." Has gotten Haniyeh and Hamas a lot of very unearned credit for "negotiation," and "willingness to agree to a ceasefire," and, apparently, being "moderate." Somehow, it keeps surprising me that a ton of people see this not as "refusing a ceasefire entirely," but as willing and open negotiation.

I'm closing with two tweets from preeminent Palestinian human rights activist Bassem Eid.

[hamliet]

Hamliet, can I ask what do you think of Judas Iscariot? I just heard my mom told my little niece so she don't end up like Judas Iscariot the "Traitor". Like I think it's so sad to become doom since birth. But without his actions there would not be crucifixion, right? Now when I become an adult I felt sorry for him.

And as Christian, I'm embarrassed that my Church still support Is**el even until now because that is what the Bible said, like WTF....

Also, I'm glad when I read your meta, that I'm not the only one who think David is bisexual....

To start with, yeah. That's awful. I grew up in a church with similar views. That's a very uncritical view of Scripture, to the point where it denies the authenticity/power of other aspects of the Bible in favor of literalism (and in favor of earthly powers like nation-states, which is all too often at the root of a lot of evil done in the name of not just Christianity, but any religion). The Bible tells everyone to love thy neighbor as yourself and to welcome people. Christian nationalism is a cancer and responsible for a lot of the support for the government of Israel in the US. But that again centers power, not Christ.

For Judas... well. I'm sorry your niece got told that; unless she's threatening to sell your mom or her friends out to the state for the death penalty I don't think that's a fair accusation lol.

Putting under the cut because I'm gonna talk theology!

But to get back to Judas, it actually connects to what I said above a bit--namely, earthly powers. I think Judas was well-intentioned and tragic. When Jesus entered the gates of Jerusalem the week prior to the crucifixion, everyone was shouting "Hosanna!" and laying down olive branches because they believed he was the Messiah, whom they believed would oust the Roman Empire who had been oppressing them. And them wanting the Romans gone was, to put it mildly, very valid.

But that wasn't what Jesus came to do in the Gospels. He came to do more than they could ask or think--instead of liberating them from earthly powers of oppression and moving on to spiritual ones, he started with the spiritual first (the ones we humans cannot hope to counter). He conquered death itself. But to do that, he had to die. As humans, we can't conquer death on our own--it's a natural part of life, and yet paradoxically, everyone who has ever lost someone close to them knows how unnatural death is.

That isn't to say Jesus didn't care about the earthly powers. I think he does. But he gave people the Holy Spirit to help move earthly powers; the sad thing is that the Church has all too often joined forces with them instead of, you know, reconsidering. But power is a very appealing idea, because at the heart of power comes justification and affirmation of the ones in power.

To bring it back to Judas--I honestly think there's a very good chance he was among the people who made the assumption Jesus would liberate them from Roman rule. Actually, it's pretty clear in Scripture that most if not all the disciples thought this, which is why they didn't seem to "get" the fact that he literally told them he was going to die over and over. And so Judas took matters into his own hands and handed Jesus over, hoping that this would jumpstart the revolution. Except it didn't, and Judas regretted it.

I also think it's worth noting that almost all the disciples, including Judas, were under 20 years old. At that time if they were older than 20, they would have been married. Peter is the only disciple who is said to be married; it's also plausible Matthew was older than 20 thanks to being a tax collector. The rest almost certainly were not.

So think of Judas as being like, 17-19 here. Idealist kiddo thinking he knows best and can save the world, who has grown up under occupation and seen the abuses that causes first hand, hopes to not only be liberated (a good hope) but to be in power himself; what's wrong with taking steps to force this to happen? I think it's more than understandable why he did what he did, and thought he was justified. I don't know I'd think differently.

But he wasn't. An innocent man was crucified. Yet from that act, the world was offered resurrection, a chance at a new life. From the evil, God turned it to good. Judas, it seems, didn't stick around long enough to see that.

However, that doesn't mean that Judas is in the deepest circle of hell for ever and ever. We don't know that. There is another verse in the Bible that states that Jesus is reconciling "all things" to himself. And the word for all means all, as in everything, everywhere, every time. I've got to think that means Judas, too.

[elkdiaries]

will - true blue

when you moved to chicago / you were spinning out / when you don't know who you are / you fuck around and find out / when you called me from the train / water freezing in your eyes / you were happy and i wasn't surprised / and it feels good to be known so well / i can't hide from you like i hide from myself

lucas - cool about it

once, i took your medication to know what it's like / and now i have to act like i can't read your mind / i ask you how you're doing and i let you lie / but we don't have to talk about it / i can walk you home and practice method acting / i’ll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning / tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing / even though we know it isn't true

el - letter to an old poet

you’re not special, you’re evil / you don’t get to tell me to calm down / you make me feel like an equal / but i’m better than you / and you should know that by now / when you fell down the stairs / it looked like it hurt and i wasn’t sorry / i shoulda left you right there / you don’t know me / i wanna be happy

max - revolution 0

i don’t wanna die / that’s a lie / but i’m afraid to get sick / i don’t know what that is / wish i wasn’t so tired, but i’m tired / if you’re not enough / then i give up / and then nothing is / i used to think / if i just closed my eyes / i’d disappear

erica - $20

it’s a bad idea and i’m all about it / give it one more chance and then i finally had it / when you wake up, i’ll be gone again / mama told me that it don't run on wishes, but that i should have fun / pushing the flowers that come up into the front of a shotgun / so many hills to die on / run out of gas, out of time, out of money / take a break, make your escape / there’s only so much i can take

mike - satanist

you wonder / if you can ever be seen / from so far away / a slow pull / a seismic drift / leaning over the edge of the continent / it’s so hard to come back / you hang on / until it drags / you under, you under

dustin - anti-curse

tried to be a halfway decent friend / wound up a bad comedian / an honest fool with more bad habits than you can count / there we were / was anyone ever so young? / breaking curfew with illegal fireworks / unpacking god in the suburbs / writing the words / to the worst love song you've ever heard / sounding out the foreign characters / an incantation like an anti-curse / or even a blessing

boygenius; the record — the party

[stormcrow513]

Awesome to work the best you could to get Kamala in, to then lose know you and everything that matters to you is now threatened AND THEN have to see Europeans taking pot shots aimed at fucking every american,

We fucking tried a lot of us tried

My ma used her old white woman status to talk a lot of people around,

People protested, people did their best to convince people to vote Kamala

Fucking Taylor fucking Swift had people registered to vote at her concerts

Our government fucking saw us turn states blue and did everything they could to make sure those people couldn't vote

I am so mad

I am so that there are so many people that look at Trump and like what they see

I am mad at the people that want the Rapture to fucking happen

The ones that want a grand Revolution

The ones that pissed their vote into the fire so they could tell themselves that their hands are clean,

I am tired of being a woman being told what to do with my life my body,

To be told as a rape victim that rape doesn't matter,

There are a lot of people in my country I would fucking throttle if I could

But there are sooo fucking many I love

There is so many things that fucking matter here

The Hispanic woman that fed my ma when she was a little girl and her parents were starving her, who called ma's aunt and told her to come get her niece or she'd call the authorities about it,

The Japanese doctor that got ma healthy saved her life

The native man that saw me staring at the arrows he was selling and figured out ma couldn't afford one so he went to her asked what she could afford then kneeled in front of me and told me to go pick an arrow anyone that I wanted

The old white woman helped me learn to read properly when all my other teachers wrote me off called me to stupid just like my mother they said

The friends I've made here on this site

I may never meet you but I love you

You've listened to my pain, offered me kindness when I needed it most

I'd tag you but I don't want to drag you into this post

But anyone there are so many good people, my people and some of them are going to die, some may have likely fucking killed themselves today so

Shut the fuck up, yeah our policies affect you and that sucks

But our house is on fucking fire so maybe stop pissing on our boots you dicks

[fymagnificentwomcn]

I still have plenty to say on the topic, so bear with me, the original link is here, it would be too much there I think.

Anyway thank you Sol @palaceoftears for these tags that succinctly sum up the main point of the original post, let's bring them as starting point here:

#joanna you ate this!!! missed reading you#truly love how deeply you analyzed that confronting suleyman IS confronting the system!#also the freeing aspect because like freedom doesn't have to mean happiness?#yes ofc hurrem wouldn't be happy knowing ultimately suleyman didn't love her & her children over himself#but it's still freeing to not live yout whole life brainwashed lol?#like I never get how ppl that loves her watch her going from 'i'll kill the sultan' & 'don't treat us as animals' to dependant on suleyman#and just go 'happy ending :D' about it#mahidevran sultan#hurrem sultan#sultan suleiman#magnificent century#muhtesem yuzyil

You know how much I dislike Surrem, but I absolutely get people shipping it without getting it like "happy in love" (huge kudos to my sis Tisha) since it's an extremely complicated, mutually toxic relationship, while yes they do love each other at same time. But they are both each other's heaven and hell simultaneously throughout the whole show, with Hürrem being in worse position due to power imbalance. Power imbalance that never fully goes away. He might also be dependent on her in emotional way since he himself comes to belief she is the only person who would never betray him (because she truly had least benefit in it). Don't be fooled though, if she had e.g. crowned Bayezid in S3 as Sah intended, he would have shown her no mercy. /I once mentioned a bit about them, also historically here./

And LBR she got mistreated by him (please, he told her to kill herself for him, and the goal was not to determine whether she had poisoned Mustafa truly) multiple times before S4, it was only because of the topic covered I mentioned S4 stuff, especially related to how he screwed her kids.

People think of stuff in "tangible" categories and why stuff like mere "awareness" (without leading a revolution or whatever lol) seems to have little meaning.

Which is again one of the main themes of the show - to give voice also to those who lost and as such do not have the "but we won, we were happy, we lived" defence always acting for them. Bah, even controversies or discussions surrounding them. They are losers, not even worthy to talk about, and put on sidelines. We often discuss what motivated the "big figures" who got to become rulers, even if we do not approve of their actions or criticize them. Rarely we talk about "losers". Which is what Mustafa's letter stressed - people will deem me as traitor, while your name will be written in golden letters because of all your victories. This alone will make your name remembered. And even considering that Mustafa was lucky in that people generally did not believe him to be a traitor, with Bayezid it was much harder because yeah he did openly rebel and it's not something we can deny. But some jump to conclusions like 'he was insolent and one day decided to rebel for no reason' (yes, I've seen such takes) is very simplistic. I do not even approve of a lot of his actions there since while I get his anger at Suly and Selim I hate how he involves plenty of soldiers in a fight without a chance to succeed as long as Suly ass lives, but damn takes like above truly erase what brought him to such point. Because he was the prince with bigger support at that time. He could have waited for his father to die soon and easily taken the throne. /And historically - yes if you actually dig up sources, he didn't wake up and decide to attack innocent cookie pacifist Selim lol/. Show! Bayezid telling Defne that he would be labelled as a "rebellious prince" for future generations with obvious evidence backing it up means a lot because even though he IS one, there is so much more to this story and what bought him to this point, starting from his father's attitude to him since he was a kid.

And damn I do need to stress the need for the critical approach to SOW (which does not preclude stanning the characters/getting interested in historical figures ofc)? Maybe not here, but I still see TikTok shit on “The big 5” introducing feminism to Ottoman harem. There is no revolution we can talk of in any case, but truly, where is feminism involved in Haseki institution? It only privileges one woman over others. The others are still required to serve them, which is why we had the Hürrem/Gülnihal and Nurbanu/Valeria stories. And what it ties with what Sol says once Hürrem tries to kill Gülnihal - her parents' ghosts appearing to tell her It's not revenge. It's not what you promised us. Meanwhile, the men are still in power, with a person like Suleiman having unlimited agency. More.. the man selects the woman he gives those privileges too. And even if he grants her freedom (if HE pleases so), it has little actual effect because we all know she is still forbidden to leave him and would have lost her kids anyway if she had done so. Thus said, the moment when show Hürrem slams the door to Sulyass' stupid face is one of my fave Surrem moments without a doubt and one of fave H moments in general ahsmshs. / BTW One day I will finally talk how Westerners focus more on say legal marriage when it that system having multiple sons was more ground-breaking because even free brides from noble families who did not have children had little power and agency. /

There is plenty of irony involved, just as Mahi finally freeing herself from attachment to Suly once he rejects her freedom to which he is entitled by the System. Bah, only he has the power to do so regarding his women. It's all only at his own discretion.

It is precisely what I also mean by "taboo-breaking" and the questioning Mahi does of Suleiman and the way he (as Sultanate) operates. In that world mere questioning could break the taboo. We do not know what future lay ahead for anyone, but damn what he kept doing was neither just nor wise according to the very norms of the times themselves. Yes, Mustafa was the most promising and fitting candidate for the throne and he did not betray his father, so Suleiman removing him from "open succession" was not even why this method of succession had been established in the first place and demanded from princes assembling their own support, also ensuring that he would be easily accepted to prevent discord and rebellions. Mustafa did it too well, the horror. And that him wanting to do something (also as he himself stated, since he got privilege of being the prince and be able to rule, he should not sit idly, but use it for good purpose and the people) only brought him troubles because of Suly ass own ego only shows again the problems with this system and being centered on one person so much. Suleiman violated a lot for his own agenda, centered around himself, not the future of the state. This is what Mahi is criticizing and stating it to his face when he tried to paint his son as a traitor to present himself as just and acting for the state IS taboo-breaking in itself. Asking the question instead of dismissing it all as "fate", as Mihrimah tried.

Mahidevran tries to awake Mihri, who while rich and "still in power play", is very similar to her in many ways (also with the one big sin that has weighted on them silently). They all lost. Even Selim. Getting Mihri's brother (Hürrem's son) on the throne did not mean triumph and happiness for her. Heck, even Selim is a walking wreck. It's not even about sides because SS truly managed to destroy everyone's lives, not only one side's, so in the end it's not even favoritism. All for him to go with his beautiful words, a show-off victory, and his beloved throne (while saying something else in his monologue). Mahi telling Mihri to stop holding her father blameless IS the moment making someone else's eyes open and maybe do not let actively go for something that will not help anyone out at this point, like causing discord between Selim and his son. These are small things that are important for the theme and how mental freedom is also of value. Same with awareness. Nobody expects revolution or claims something. And we are at a particular point when Mahi already lost Mustafa and says it already in the context with him gone. She won't resurrect him with her words ofc LOL. And Mahi truly didn't have to do this, just take popcorn and look at Hürrem's kids & other descendants fighting even more.

You can precisely see when SS decides how to dispose of Bayezid when Mihri says she will never forgive him and will be dead to him if he executes her brother. The lightbulb over his head in this moment lol. So her continuing to hold him blameless, while putting everything on Selim and Nurbanu is buying his shit and rules of the Sultanate. Mihri might have power, so she can stir things up in attempt to still "win", but.. they all lost. Her acceptance of it and stating it out loud before leaving Topkapi again has meaning. One might continue to have power and live in palace (unlike Mahi), but they all lost anyway. Mere meddling that can cause only chaos to still try to win is meaningless and can ony be harmful. As such, Mahi's words can have at least some impact.

Mahi and fate as Sol's post with Plami's commentary also has this delicious tidbit with mirror - most likely Hürrem would have never ceased to hunt down Mustafa after Mehmed's death because she had decided on eliminating him long before that and kept carrying out the plan via concrete & repeated actions. However, Mahi still questions herself on that because she can never know. And even if it changed nothing, it still tormented her and polluted her conscience. Because culpability is still there, regardless of "system" and circumstances" and whether it has any tangible effect or not. Same with Selim still being culpable even though SS wanted Bayezid executed. He still chose to do so anyway. Bah, he is actually very self-conscious and states clearly that he won because unlike the others he was able to kill his brother.

Similarly, Mustafa, Cihangir, and Bayezid also made their choices. Mustafa could have axed Suleiman and it would have been hard to blame him for this in the situation it boilt down to. Actually, he was the one with biggest support at that moment, so rules of the Sultanate definitely allowed him to dispose of an aging ruler who began making a multitude of mistakes. He had the biggest power at his disposal if he wanted to. Moreover, Musti also chose to invite the member of the opposition faction because she was his sister, despite said sister openly declaring her standing on the opposite side and speaking to him "with her mother's words" last time they met. Once more, instead of rules of Sultanate and how the system expected him to act, he chose familial bonds.

Then again, Bayezid did have Selim on his knees in front of him and chose not to kill Selim, despite Selim never promising him any change or begging for mercy.

They both died, but they also could have chosen differently and compromised their conscience and values in the process.

Yet the opposite choice to adhere to the Darwinist rules and get the throne at any cost is not something mechanic that promises happiness or safety, either. Actually, it can make you painfully blind. We see Hürrem deciding blood will be spilled only of her enemies once she learns her son is going to end up on the throne. When she meets with the witch after Mustafa is dead and the throne for one of her sons IS a certain thing.. it's not what she wanted to hear, starting from her own imminent demise from natural causes. Same with her trust in the "human face" of the Sultanate aka Suly ass:

The "right, sultana?" is an ironic call-back to the beginning of the episode when she uses same words about Suly's power to exclude herself from the matter of Mustafa's death.

Also let us note the use of the word "destiny"😱 .

Also, Hürrem did not come back to ponder her preceding conversation with the witch earlier, as she had another proof of herself not interpreting it correctly - when she assumed Nazenin's baby would be the one the witch predicated as the Sultan. Nurbanu was after all pregnant with Murad at the same time.. so no, the witch was not mistaken, Hürrem was simply so caught up in her own vision of how it would go (also with Baye taking the throne) or assumed the witch to be mistaken, so she didn't notice it was about her grandson.

Another interesting thing is that the witch also predicts Mihrimah's future and that while her physical illness will pass soon, the spiritual pain will soon start and persist.

Because even if we "win" in that we survive, it does not need to bring happiness with it. At all.

It doesn't work like this either (Mihri talks about sacrifing Musti and Cih), while we are at it. There are no simple mechanisms like that! And how Mihri adopts her mother stance and calls her out that only one of her sons can survive according to the Darwinist rules (which is also what Rüstem advocates in any circumstances, only for him there is no support for Bayezid really... any can go) is just irony at its finest, and it stems also from her feeling of guilt - I already tainted my conscience and went again familial bonds, so let it at least mean victory for my favourite brother. She is now quick to accept one of them will die, she just wants to ensure it's not Bayezid.

Another of Hürrem's children that do adopt her "survival no matter the cost" agenda (and no, it's hard going for that to "pacifism" agenda shortly after getting what you wanted), and to a bigger extent, is Selim obviously.. Selim states to Bayezid that he will live because he is capable of killing his brother for his own survival. But we know what sort of life this is (and that he won't live long from history). He might later quote his mother to Mihrimah and convince himself that since nobody is innocent under this dome, so only the deserving win, but outside that, he does call himself a "brother killer" and does consider it a burden. /And Selim being his mother's son is another fascinating topic, since he was like.. her least fave and yet he is the one most alike her and who most absorbed her views and agenda.. to later emerge as sort-of third unexpected faction /.

Neither Mihrimah nor Selim ever found peace after adhering to the System's rules of fratricide. Bah, they cannot even be a family again as the only surviving members.. instead they openly accuse each other of being brother killers. Judging by history, they will eventually learn to co-operate, but nothing will be the same ever again. There is no moral victory in it for sure. Selim does not claim it any point. Actually, he is the one to point out that: We all lost. Innocence died and nothing will be as before. We can accuse Selim of many things, but he is a pretty self-conscious character indeed.

The others might be dead, but they did adhere to their principles and values due to choice.

The power of reflection or questioning is also tied to to the concept of choice as what makes us a human. MC never promises us happy ending (how it could, we all know the ending point), but the mere presentation of choice, of humans trying to create something positive, like Mustafa, Bayezid, and Cihangir deciding not to fight against each other as expected, is meaningful.

Instead we got nobody truly winning or benefitting from what happened LBR. It cannot get worse than that, really.

The whole issue again reflects what I said earlier in that post on how Erdogan historical propaganda works. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but there is no questioning at all. Instead we have normalization of violence and presenting it as something necessary, and that there is no choice or alternative to what happened. The sultan killed his brothers, but he had to. It was necessary, it was automatic. There is even no person behind it, but a robot always doing the right (even if brutal) choice because "it was like that".

And to some up the great ironies of life, we can remember that Mahi who lost it all... survived them all, so she won the Darwinist game in the end despite being rejected by System multiple times:

[ganseysglasses]

I’ve had boygenius brain rot since The Record was released so let me tell you what song goes to which of the raven cycle characters.

Starting with the obvious, Ronan is SO revolution 0 are you kidding?? “i don’t wanna die / that’s a lie / but i’m afraid to get sick / i don’t know what that is” so so so Ronan. ALSO “i used to think if i just closed my eyes / i would disappear” ?? enough said. revolution 0 is questioning the world you’re in and your purpose in it and if that isn’t the epitome of Ronan Lynch idk what it.

Adam is definitely Letter To An Old Poet to me. This was a really hard choice because Adam Parrish is incredibly boygenius coded but i have evidence. “you’re not special, you’re evil / you don’t get to tell me to calm down / you made me feel like an equal / but i’m better than you / and you should know that by now” it’s Adam Parrish learning who he is and that he’s more than his background, more than what he’s been told he is by his father, the other students at aglionby, and even himself. Letter To An Old Poet makes me feel like reflecting on what used to be and realizing how much time has changed everything around me. That’s just so Adam!!

I’m not SUPER confident on this one, but Noah is Anti-Curse. First of all, Noah Czerny just seems like a Julien Baker fan idk. Also kind of obvious text evidence “making peace with my inevitable death.” now i KNOW that could also be Gansey, but hear me out. Noah knew from the beginning that he was going to be gone and leave his friends over and over again (poor guy :( ) and he still MOURNED and resisted his inevitable undoing. I feel like Gansey didn’t even actually come to terms with his death. All of the Raven King was spent searching for a solution, and even though Gansey had proof he would die, he didn’t quit searching for a solution. Noah on the other hand embodies Anti-Curse and the theme of making peace with where you are. It’s really heartbreaking honesty.

Gansey boy himself is OBVIOUSLY True Blue. I have authority on this because i AM Gansey. He’s me. Anyways, i realized Gansey was true blue when i heard the line “but it feels good to be known so well / i can’t hide from you like i hide from myself” which is also when i had the idea for this post (before taking many weeks to write it out). Additionally just think about Gansey’s relationship with his friends with this verse “you’ve never done me wrong except for that one time / that we don’t talk about / because it doesn’t matter anymore / who won the fight? / I don’t know” Gansey being so willing to do anything for his friends, and ignore any fights or disagreements just to get them to stay. True Blue embodies the longing to be seen. to be known and understood and loved in despite of people seeing. And that’s a very clear character trait of Gansey’s throughout the books.

Finally, Blue Sargent herself. She’s Satanist, which i feel might be a bit of an obvious choice but it fits. Blue makes it known where she stands on everything, is very independent, and has a lot to prove, which really suits this song. The verse “will you be an anarchist with me? / sleep in cars and kill the bourgeoisie / at least until you find out what a fake i am” says it best. Blue is so desperate to be sure of herself and achieve what she wants, but there’s so much she’s not sure of. (her principles after finding her raven boys, college, careers, their quest, etc) Satanist is a song that takes a stand so confidently while having no real intention of acting upon the decisions made. Not because it doesn’t believe in the decisions or the principles behind it, but because it doesn’t believe in itself.

Anyways that’s my interpretation of the raven cycle with special guests Boygenius!

[manwalksintobar]

April Fool Birthday Poem for Grandpa // Diane di Prima

Today is your birthday and I have tried writing these things before, but now in the gathering madness, I want to thank you for telling me what to expect for pulling no punches, back there in that scrubbed Bronx parlor thank you for honestly weeping in time to innumerable heartbreaking italian operas for pulling my hair when I pulled the leaves off the trees so I'd know how it feels, we are involved in it now, revolution, up to our knees and the tide is rising, I embrace strangers on the street, filled with their love and mine, the love you told us had to come or we die, told them all in that Bronx park, me listening in spring Bronx dusk, breathing stars, so glorious to me your white hair, your height your fierce blue eyes, rare among italians, I stood a ways off, looking up at you, my grandpa people listened to, I stand a ways off listening as I pour out soup young men with light in their faces at my table, talking love, talking revolution which is love, spelled backwards, how you would love us all, would thunder your anarchist wisdom at us, would thunder Dante, and Giordano Bruno, orderly men bent to your ends, well I want you to know we do it for you, and your ilk, for Carlo Tresca, for Sacco and Vanzetti, without knowing it, or thinking about it, as we do it for Aubrey Beardsley Oscar Wilde (all street lights shall be purple), do it for Trotsky and Shelley and big/dumb Kropotkin Eisenstein's Strike people, Jean Cocteau's ennui, we do it for the stars over the Bronx that they may look on earth and not be ashamed.

[endofwinter]

APRIL FOOL BIRTHDAY POEM FOR GRANDPA

Today is your birthday and I have tried writing these things before, but now in the gathering madness, I want to thank you for telling me what to expect for pulling no punches, back there in that scrubbed Bronx parlor thank you for honestly weeping in time to innumerable heartbreaking italian operas for pulling my hair when I pulled the leaves off the trees so I’d know how it feels, we are involved in it now, revolution, up to our knees and the tide is rising, I embrace strangers on the street, filled with their love and mine, the love you told us had to come or we die, told them all in that Bronx park, me listening in spring Bronx dusk, breathing stars, so glorious to me your white hair, your height your fierce blue eyes, rare among italians, I stood a ways off looking up at you, my grandpa people listened to, I stand a ways off listening as I pour out soup young men with light in their faces at my table, talking love, talking revolution which is love, spelled backwards, how you would love us all, would thunder your anarchist wisdom at us, would thunder Dante, and Giordano Bruno, orderly men bent to your ends, well I want you to know we do it for you, and your ilk, for Carlo Tresca, for Sacco and Vanzetti, without knowing it, or thinking about it, as we do it for Aubrey Beardsley Oscar Wilde (all street lights shall be purple), do it for Trotsky and Shelley and big/dumb Kropotkin Eisenstein’s Strike people, Jean Cocteau’s ennui, we do it for the stars over the Bronx that they may look on earth and not be ashamed.

— Diane DiPrima (From Revolutionary Letters)

[wuorija]

Finding Your Best Look with Ease: The Game-Changing Magic of iFoto's Try On Haircuts

Have you ever stood in front of the mirror, think abouting over a new hairstyle, wondering if it would suit you? The uncertainty can make even the bravest of us reconsider stepping into a salon. But what if I told you there's a way to experiment with countless haircuts without even leaving your house? Enter iFoto's Try On Haircuts, a nifty AI-powered tool that's converting how we approach our personal appearance. Let me share how this little gem has become a game-changer in the world of beauty.

Imagine a world where you could try on a pixie cut, or perhaps a sleek bob, without the commitment (and let's be real, the potential regret). This isn't a futuristic dream; it's what iFoto offers right now. It's like having a personal stylist in your pocket, ready to play around with different looks until you find the one that makes you feel like a superstar.

The first time I used Try On Haircuts, I was skeptical. Could it really capture what a new 'do would look like on me? I uploaded a photo and voilà – instantly, iFoto converted my image, showcasing various hairstyles as if they were mine. It was astonishing, like having an exclusive sneak peek into a salon's mirror.

What's so special about it? Well, the AI technology is impressive, to say the least. It calculates the dimensions of your face, suggesting styles that complement your features. It's not just about the looks, though; it's about the confidence that comes from knowing you've made the right choice before even stepping foot into a salon chair.

You might be wondering, "Is this just for the girls?" Not at all! Men can just as easily experiment with fades, undercuts, or a clean shave. The beauty of iFoto's Try On Haircuts is its inclusivity – it's for everyone who's ever been curious about changing up their look.

But let's talk about the emotional connection. Have you ever had a haircut that just didn't hit the mark? The disappointment can linger, making you second-guess your decision each time you catch your reflection. With iFoto, that worry is gone. You're in control, and that control brings a sense of empowerment. It's not just about looks; it's about feeling good in your own skin.

And let's not forget the fun factor. Playing with different styles on iFoto is like having a styling session with your friends. It's, playful, and there's no pressure. You can try out wilder styles, or subtle changes, and no one will blink an eye. It's your own little digital playground, where the only limit is your imagination.

Plus, the user experience is seamless. The interface is intuitive, meaning you don't have to be tech-savvy to guide through it. Within minutes, you'll be experimenting like a pro. It's no wonder iFoto's Try On Haircuts is gaining popularity – it's accessible, fun, and incredibly useful.

Now, you might be asking, "What happens if I find a style I love?" That's where iFoto shines even more. Once you've landed on 'the one,' you can save the image and take it to your hairstylist. This little feature is a lifesaver. No more describing the haircut you want in vague terms; you can show them exactly what you're aiming for. It's a win-win for both you and your stylist.

As someone who's been through countless hair experiments, I can't overstate the convenience of iFoto's Try On Haircuts. It's a tool that not only helps you find the perfect style but also brings a bit of joy to the process. Isn't it amazing how technology can intersect with our personal lives in such a meaningful way?

In the end, iFoto is more than just an app – it's a revolution. It's changing the landscape of the salon and beauty industry by putting the power back into our hands. Whether you're a die-hard fashionista or someone who's never strayed far from the classics, iFoto's Try On Haircuts invites you to explore, to experiment, and to embrace the new you, with confidence and excitement. So why not give it a shot? Who knows, you might just find your next great look, all from the comfort of your home.

[mahiiragi]

This !! The last kataang interaction before the kiss was a fight, and even before that it wasn't going very well for them: Katara actively avoiding talking about Aang's romantic moves, he exploding a little makeshift volcano in her face accusing her of "playing games" with him, she gently turning him down because of the war and confusion about her feelings, Aang kissing her without her consent and she reasonably getting angry at him... And they never talk about any of that or about Aang running away when she has abandonment issues or about him sacrificing the avatar state for her when Katara has hope in the avatar to save the world more than anything.

And in between the fight and the kiss we get a lot of Zuko and Katara moments that might suggest a future relationship: blushing when June suggests them being a couple, Iroh thinking they make a good match in the Sozin's comet book, Zuko jumping in front of lightning to die for her (I am of the people who believe Zu would have done that for anyone of the gaang, but he still asked specifically to her to come and the scene still was about Zuko saving her) or just Zuko and Katara's relationship as friends and supportive of each other being highlighted more than any other in those last episodes, so some people naturally leaned towards zutara in that lapse of time.

The kataang kiss at the end feels so abrupt because of that: they fought in the last scenes of them together and they never talked about the issues in their relationship and rather than seeing how Katara feels about Aang instead of just how Aang feels about Katara (one of kataang's faults is that it is very Aang-centric, specially in the romantic aspect, in my opinion), we were shown Katara building a strong connection with Zuko, so for many it was an "hero gets the girl" situation instead of the result of three seasons of development. In short, in the last half of season 3, the kataang relationship became strained while Zuko and Katara were getting all buddy-buddy.

Katara and Aang have a really cute dynamic and work well together, the love they have for each other is palpable (being it platonic or not) and a romance between them is totally plausible, but it definitely should have been developed better. And Katara not being left out and reduced to just the "avatar's girlfriend" in most of the post-series content would have been great too.

Out of topic, but I will forever complain about her not having a statue in republic city while everyone else in the team and the cabbage merchant had one, about her not going to her own granddaughter's ceremony declaring her the first master airbender of a new generation, about her not being in Yakone's trial when she was the only one known to resist bloodbending and the second bloodbender to ever exist, about her apparently not accomplishing anything remarkable after the war and supposedly letting Aang play favorites and take just one kid to vacations?? This girl encouraged revolutions and fought with tooth and nails against the patriarchy and to preserve her culture, for the people, for freedom and justice and you want to tell me she just became the best healer in the world (when she didn't even want to heal in the first place, she wanted to fight and fought for that right) and banned bloodbending (when it can be used for good, too, in medicine and wound treatment, one would think the best healer in the world would think about that)??? Even her kids talk more about Aang than about her. We are told she did a lot of good after the war, but we never really see that.

Let Katara become a world-changing politician and be the terror of misogynistic reactionary old men 2024

i really don’t wanna be a hater because i honestly can see the potential of kata@ng, i love their friendship and i enjoy cute shippy fanart of them on occasion, and most importantly i’ve been into ATLA for way too long to still care that much about ship wars at this point, but–

i just keep thinking, why was this literally the last time in the entire show that aang and katara had an on-screen conversation? like… the episode before this is the one where he kisses her right after she says she’s confused and it ends without them having resolved this issue, then we get this scene where they have a fight which ends with zuko putting his hand on katara’s shoulder to stop her from going after aang so he can figure things out on his own. which really stood out to me on my latest rewatch because my dad, who was watching the show for the first time with me, had made a couple of shippy comments about zuko and katara before but for whatever reason it was this moment that made him say “yep, they’re a couple. those two are falling in love”. even though he had previously been liking kata@ng and rooting for them to get together!

and it’s after this that we get the classic “she’s not my girlfriend!” moment between zuko and katara, we see katara comfort zuko when he’s worried about facing iroh, see zuko ask katara to help him confront azula, see zuko jump in front of fucking lightning to save katara, see katara take down azula and heal zuko, and then… we see katara and aang hug and kiss in the final minutes of the show even though the last time they kissed she was reasonably unhappy about it and never got an apology for that entire situation (at least, not one that we got to see) and the last time they spoke on-screen was an argument between them.

like i’m sorry but the kata@ng development in book 3 just feels really odd to me for an endgame couple. she didn’t even smile after the kiss in day of black sun despite the fact that she was originally supposed to. i genuinely think they could’ve had a really sweet and meaningful romance that i could’ve rooted for (even though i’m sure i still would’ve forever been a zutara stan–i do multiship sometimes) but instead of having positive development in their relationship toward the end of the show, they argue and seemingly stop talking while zuko and katara get a bunch of moments together?? idk it just… doesn’t feel like the kiss at the end was earned or built up to very well as a result of this, but that’s just my personal opinion.

[casspurrjoybell-31]

The Consort - Chapter 9 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Finn

"I'm not sure how she'll feel when she wakes up but..." my voice trails off and I tip my head to the side to peek at Kelly over Brayden's shoulder.

Suddenly the idea of discussing any of this in front of my former best friend feels wrong.

I chew on my bottom lip and Brayden's eyes narrow in on the action.

He watches me nibble on the supple flesh and my stomach tightens wondering what it would feel like if my lip was being nibbled by him instead.

"Can we step into another room to talk about this?" I whisper.

Brayden sighs as if the request is ridiculous.

He turns away from me and reaches into his coat pocket to retrieve a small bag of blood.

I grimace as he hands it over to Kelly.

"I won't be long," Brayden assures him.

"But if the hunger gets too strong while I'm away, drink this. It will tide you over."

Kelly studies the bag before glancing at me again.

I silently wonder if I'm the first human he's been around since he's been changed.

Professor Adams taught us that when a vampire changes, he is still adjusting to a lack of human emotions and an overwhelming surge of natural instincts, in other words, a very dangerous time to be around an immortal.

I spin on my wheels and walk to the bathroom.

It's not exactly a convenient place to talk but Kelly's apartment doesn't have many options.

Brayden follows only a few steps behind me, and when we're both in the small confines of the bathroom, I close the door behind us.

Brayden's wide shoulders and immense height look comical in here.

Now he's only inches away from me,and I shove my back against the towel rack as hard as I can to keep distance between us.

He might not have any trouble keeping his hands off of me but I can't claim the same level of self-control.

"Thanks for coming in here," I say, swallowing hard.

"I know it's probably not the best time to leave Kelly alone but it felt weird talking about all this in front of him. Especially when he has no recollection of it."

Brayden blinks, unfazed.

"Right. So, as I was saying, Fiona didn't take the news well. Obviously. And I'm not sure if you knew this but she's part of all of this."

I wave my hand around the room to signify the Revolution, hoping he'll understand my train of thought.

"Now that Kelly's been changed, I'm not sure how she'll feel... about any of it. I'm not sure what she'll want to do or how to move on. So maybe... maybe it would be smart if you took Kelly back to Vamp Land. Just until we figure out the plan."

Brayden snorts and shakes his head.

"There is no plan, human. Once I take your friend from his home, he will never be returning."

My eyes widen.

"Like hell."

"If she is anything like him, your friend will try to cut his heart out and use it against me and any other vampire she can get her hands on."

My indignation swells and I lean forward, suddenly irritated.

"Don't act like you know them because you don't. Not either of them."

Brayden's red eyes turn to slits and leans forward as well.

I try to ignore the potency of his heady scent, focusing on my anger while he speaks.

"What I do know," he argues...

"Is that by the time I reached your friend Kelly, he was minutes away from death."

Brayden pauses, letting this news sink in.

"She was sucking his blood, allowing her venom into his veins while doing so. When I finally pulled her away, I asked him what his choice was. He told me he wanted to die."

My lips part in disbelief.

I knew Kelly wasn't a fan of his role of consort but I had no idea he hated vampires so much.

Hell, I never knew Fiona did either.

"If his hatred for immortals is any indication of hers," Brayden whispers, nodding his head to Fiona's bedroom next to us.

"She will attempt to kill the both of us without hesitation."

"But she loves him..."

"She'll get over it."

"You can't take him away," I argue.

"On the contrary, human. I can't leave him here. He no longer belongs in your world. I gave you my word I would bring him back but I never promised to keep him here. He needs to come back with me, both for your safety and for his."

I blink slowly, shaking my head from side to side.

"Why did you allow the change to happen? Why didn't you let him die?"

Brayden's quiet for a long moment.

Then he gets close to me, so close I can feel every word that falls from his lips caress the small space of air between us.

He reaches down to grab my hand, pulling it to his face.

The warmth of my fingertips brush against the harsh plans of his cheekbone.

"This is death, one he'll have to live with forever," my vampire answers.

"It was the death of his human body, the death of his memories and the death of his emotions. I did let him die, human. He just doesn't know it yet."

[crackspinewornpages]

Les Misérables 290/365 -Victor Hugo

281

Journals called the barricade of Rue de la Chanvrerie nearly impregnable, it was only seven feet high and had a hole to pass through between house walls a red flag floated above it. They distant fear, an attack through he difficult street of Rue des Plecheurs when the two barricades were finished Courfeyrac mounted a table and distributed cartridges for the powder barrel to be reserved. The alarm through Paris fell into monotony and ignored. (like major news people get bored after a few days with nothing new exciting) Enjorlas assigned watchers and post sentinels stationed and they waited as twilight came. “on the mist of that silence through which something could be felt advancing and which had about it something tragic and terrifying, isolated, armed, determined and tranquil.”p.701

282  

While waiting men made bullets and watched and the Friends of the ABC talked about their past peaceful schooldays and conversations and recited love verses. “Do you remember our sweet life, when we were both so young, and when we had no other desire in our hearts then to be well dressed and in love?”p.701 (I feel this is poignant somehow) The stars started to come out and a lamp was lighted at a barricade, (the beacons are lit Paris calls for aide!) it and the streets sunk in gloom which had the red flag in a terrible purple.

283

Night came and they only heard distant noises, the Government was taking its time and building forces. Gavroche was in the top room when the grey-haired man of the Rue des Billettes barricade came in unnoticed by everyone else and Gavroche couldn’t believe who it was. Enjorlas got Gavroche and ordered him to spy outside the barricade and Gavroche told him the man is a police spy. (modern undercover police and government agents are easy to spy they can’t shake their uniformity) Enjorlas whispered to a longshoreman who left to get three more and surrounded the man. Enjorlas demanded to know who he is an agent of the authorities, Javert. On signal the four men pinned him and searched his pockets and found his orders and bound him to a post, they plan to kill him before the barricade is taken, they are judges, not assassins and Gavroche wants his gun.

284

The social birth pangs in a revolutionary birth, epic savage horror that followed after Garoche’s departure. Mobs snowball, possibly joined the rabble after Enjorlas and his friends. The drunkard, Le Cubuc, lead a group and tried to break into a house killing an old porter who wouldn't let them in. The horror filled Enjorlas stopped him giving him a minute before killing him too. He has him tossed outside and explains to the people they were under the eyes of the Revolution, they are the priests of the Republic, victims of duty, so he judged and killed that man and condemned himself, Combeferre will share his fate. He obeyed necessity but it’s a monster of the old world, the name of Fatality it will vanish in Fraternity. “It is a bad moment to pronounce the word love. No matter, I will pronounce it. And I glorify it. Love, the future is tine. Death, I make use of thee, but I hate thee.”p.708 In the future no one will kill anyone, the human race will love in that order they are about to die. Le Cubuc had a police card, his name was Claquesous who had disappeared into the shadows. Courfeyrac looked at the barricade and saw the young man who inquired about Marius.

BOOK THIRTEENTH MARIUS ENTERS THE SHADOW

285

Destiny's voice brought Marius to the barricade, his two months of love was overwhelmed by despair and a desire to end it all. (you obsessed over her for a year and only have been talking to her for two months) He followed it to Rue Saint-Monroe and left Palais-Royal behind into the crowd, stocks, bayonets, guns and troops, where did the rabble end and the army begin. He passed through the throng and into deserted streets and someone paced after him and even after someone shot over his head he went on.

286

The quarter of Halles was like a city within a city, where if sound and movement ceased the invisible police maintained order. “The necessary tactics of insurrection are to drown small numbers in a vast obscurity, to multiply every combatant by the possibilities which that obscurity contains.”p.711 Nothing stirred a scared horror in the labyrinth, a wild darkness, traps, death was expected but how and when. For both sides the range was equal, the insurrection should prove a revolution, they understood this. The stars disappeared behind clouds, (symbolism) the battle was political youth, schools, secret organizations dashed together, wretched Paris would disappear under happy Paris. (looks at recent Paris news define happy)

287

Marius reached Halles and went to the red light of the Corinthe barricade and went passed the sentinel, feeling he was getting close. Inside the barricade he stopped to think of his father who served under the Republic, this was his day now to follow after his father. His grandfather sold his father’s sword and thought it best to have fled him, to have seen the future of the war of the gutters and did not wish to do for the son what it did for the father. He started to cry, what to do, he couldn’t live without Cosette but without her he must die as he told her, she left without warning so she must not love him. (I saw a post that said we should take a spray bottle to Marius every time he does something stupid by this point he’d be a drowned rat) Should he abandon his friends who needed him, should he not be true to his love, to his country, if his father saw him, he would order him forward, he rose, all his troubles answered.

What does civil war mean a foreign war, “Is not all war between men war between brothers? War is not qualified only by its object. There is no such thing as foreign or civil war; there is only just and unjust war.”p.714 Only until humanity comes to agreement war for the future may be necessary otherwise it is called crime. Multitude accept the master, witness to apathy, a crowd easily led to obedience, men can be stirred up. Which tyrant do they speak of, history calls them the same. War is greater than that which reestablishes social truth, thrones to liberty, people to people. The fortress of prejudices, privilege, lies, abuse and violence still stands and must be cast down. Marius meditated on this, watching the insurgents and the porter Le Cubuc had killed staring back from a window, a dead man observing those that would die. (it is symbolically a pretty bad omen to have a murder victim’s ghost observing those that are about to be gunned down)

BOOK FOURTEENTH THE GRANDEURS OF DESPAIR

288

At ten, Enjorlas and Combeferre were posted at the grand barricade listening to a distant marching. In the calm, Gavroche started to sing a warning as he bounced over the barricade wanting a gun as they are here. Forty-three took ready as bayonets gleaned in the torch light. A voice shouted fire and, in the discharge, the red flag fell. The insurgents waited until they would be in the street to raise the flag again but no one volunteered as it would be death at that moment. (so none of these young people will risk their life to fly a flag that supposedly means so much to them)

289 Since the barricade was built no one paid attention to Mabeuf as he retreated to the wine shop and wouldn’t respond to accosting or warnings. At the moment of attack, he seemed to awaken and heard Enjorlas ask if no one volunteers another group shouted when he went out that he is a representative of the people. (I volunteer! I volunteer!) He went up to Enjorlas and took the flag, no one assisted the old man as he ascended and drew himself up in the face of death in front of twelve hundred guns. “Long live the Revolution! Long live the Republic! Fraternity! Equality! A Death!”p.718 The voice called to fire, the second charge rained down and Mabeuf fell with the flag. Courfeyrac tells Enjorlas that was Father Mabeuf and Enjorlas tells them all he was an example of what the old give the young, what those with age teach those with fear and will use his bloody coat as their new flag. (this revolution is built on blood and death thematically it will be doomed anyway)

290

They took his body away to the tap room and thought no more of their perilous situation and Enjorlas told Javert it will be his turn next. Gavroche was still on guard and shouted a warning as bayonets came over the barricade. Bahorel killed the first municipal guard and the second killed Bahorel, another overcame Courfeyrac. Gavroche took fire but Javert’s gun wasn’t loaded and the municipal guard laughed and aimed at him but he was shot dead along with the one who assaulted Courfeyrac by Marius. (look at him he finally decided to be productive and do something)

NEXT

[fruitcoops]

Ok so what sbout remus/sirius being too sick to go to an away game so the other one has to go alone, and then tons of facetime conversations and "get well soon" videos from the team?

This is related to this fic about Remus and Finn bonding over terrible reporters--hope you enjoy! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, and the Loops/ Talker bonding is for @lee-1012!

TW for illness

“You don’t look so good.” Remus frowned as he held the inside of his wrist against Sirius’ forehead. “And you definitely have a fever.”

“Non.” Sirius sat up on his elbows with a groan, then almost immediately flopped back down.

“Yes.” He leaned back on his heels and checked the clock—they had two hours before they had to be at the airport. “Baby, I don’t think you should—”

“ ‘m going.”

“It’s not a good—”

“Gotta go. Games.” Sirius cracked one glassy eye open. “Two weeks away. I’ll take the first couple days off.”

Remus sighed through his nose and brushed his sweaty hair out of his eyes. “You shouldn’t go on the plane if you’re sick. Not just for your sake, but for the rest of us. We don’t need everyone to come down with this.”

He received a halfhearted glare in response, but Sirius finally huffed and curled on his side to nuzzle against his thigh. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, baby,” Remus said quietly, bending to kiss his temple. They hadn’t been apart for that long since before he was a player, nearly a year prior. Hell, he had never played a game without Sirius, let alone two weeks’ worth. “Lily will check on you, okay?”

Sirius mumbled an incoherent response and cuddled closer when he began combing his fingers through his hair. The second alarm beeped, loud against the quiet of their bedroom; time to go, he thought ruefully. Sirius touched his knee as he started to stand. “Love you. Be safe.”

“Love you more.”

“Love you most.”

“Go back to sleep,” Remus said as his heart clenched. “I’ll let Coach know what happened, but you’ve got to rest and take care of yourself. Hydrate or die-drate, yeah?”

“Yeah. Love you.”

“Sleep,” he repeated, kissing his forehead once more before hauling himself out of bed and tucking the covers around Sirius’ shoulders. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

------------------------

The clouds were a soft, pastel pink around them as the sun rose—Sirius’ favorite. If his phone was correct, Lily would be there soon to let Hattie out and make sure Sirius wasn’t pushing himself too hard. The thought brought Remus a bit of relief, but not enough to quell his concern.

Talker poked his forearm, snapping him from his reverie. “What’s going on?”

“Just worrying.”

“About Cap?”

Remus waved a hand vaguely. “And Hattie, and Lily, and whether he’s got a cold or something worse. Feels weird being here without him.”

Talker hummed his agreement and offered one of his earbuds. “Want to listen to half of Bohemian Rhapsody with me? It’ll give you five minutes and 55 seconds of relative peace.”

“It’s too quiet,” James groaned just before he pressed ‘play’.

Across the aisle, Remus saw Kasey roll his eyes. “Your husband is sick, dude, not dead. He doesn’t talk to you on planes anyway.”

“It’s the principle of the thing, Bliz.”

“Oh my god,” Kasey muttered under his breath, securing his headphones tightly over his ears.

James let his head flop to the side with a baleful look. “Loops, you’re on my side, right?”

“I’ve got you, buddy,” he assured him. Talker stifled a laugh, and the opening chords began as more clouds rolled past. Remus let himself drift with them, taking deep breaths to soothe his worries; Sirius would be fine. He had the sniffles, or at worst the flu, and he would be join them for the second week in top form. There was nothing to worry about.

---------------------------------

“He’s got pneumonia,” Lily sighed.

“He what?”

“A mild case, but the doctor said it would take a week of antibiotics and rest before he’s close to a hundred percent. No hockey for about a month, too.”

Remus stared at the wall of his empty hotel room, lost for words. “Well, fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck.”

“Pretty m—absolutely not, go lay down.” There was a rustling noise and two grumbling voices. “Sorry about that.”

“Will you put me on speaker real quick?” Remus asked, pinching the bridge of his nose until he heard a faint click. “Sirius? You there?”

“Yes! I miss you, and I was just going to tell you that it’s really not that—”

“Please sit your ass down. Lily, if he tries to fuck around and find out exactly how nasty pneumonia is, you have full permission to sit on him. I miss you too, love,” he added after a short pause.

“He’s blowing you a kiss,” Lily informed him. “Oh, and he’s giving me the puppy eyes.”

“Resist if you can. Love you both. Give Hattie lots of cuddles from me.”

“We will,” she promised.

The second the call ended, Remus groaned aloud and thumped his head against the wall before padding down the hall. Just my fucking luck. The door swung open after the second knock; Arthur’s face fell. “How bad is it?”

“Mild pneumonia.”

“Fuck.”

“Yep. Doctor said he’d be out for a month.”

Arthur rubbed his eyes and nodded, motioning Remus back towards his own room. “Get some rest, then. I’ll let everyone know in the morning. Any idea how he got it?”

“Not a clue.”

“Thanks for the update, Loops. Sleep tight.”

“I will,” Remus lied as he headed back for a sleepless night between cold sheets.

----------------------------

Lily sent updates every few hours; most reported that Sirius was sleeping well and looking better with each passing day, but Remus couldn’t help but feel overwhelmingly guilty. If something happened while he was hundreds of miles away, he would never forgive himself. He had sworn in front of their closest friends and family to be there in sickness and in health—what kind of husband ditches their partner for one of a million roadies?

This one. He stabbed a piece of broccoli and shoved it in his mouth. And then he goes and makes an idiot of himself for the world to see.

The interview was supposed to be easy, but he couldn’t let it roll off anymore. Not when he couldn’t answer their questions even when he wanted to, not when he was states away from the love of his life while he was sick, not when he felt helpless and shoved aside in every current aspect of his life.

“So.” The chair next to him creaked as Talker planted his full weight in it and set his plate decisively on the table.

“What.”

“Oh, pissy Loops. Haven’t seen you in a while. Talked to Cap yet?”

“Yeah.” Another piece of broccoli fell victim to his frustration.

“How’s he sound?”

“Better.”

“Sweet.” Talker continued to munch away on his dinner. “Anyone ever told you that you have the general disposition of a wet cat when you’re upset?”

Remus tried and failed to keep down a smile. “I seem to recall you bringing it up on occasion, yes.”

His dark eyes softened and he bumped their elbows together. “He’ll be okay.”

“I know.”

“Really, Loops. Cap’s going to be just fine. Lily doesn’t sugar-coat this kind of stuff, and he’s a tough guy. Mild pneumonia doesn’t stand a chance. Besides, we’ve only got four days left and we need you to kick some ass out there.”

If Remus was a little more emotionally vulnerable, he would’ve burst into tears. Instead, he settled for leaning his temple against Talker’s with a quiet ‘thanks’ and allowed himself to be pulled into a side hug. Across the dining hall, Finn shot him a thumbs-up and a wink. “Love you, man.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Talker teased. “The internet is already coming to your aid, you know.”

“About…?”

“Not only have those asshole reporters become a new meme, you’ve also got a shit ton of people bringing up past mistreatment of athletes in the press room. You’re the face of a revolution, Loops.”

“I’ve been the face of too many revolutions for one person,” he groused, not even bothering to duck out of the way when Talker ruffled his hair.

“Well, one more won’t kill you.”

---------------------------------------

Remus’ heart raced as he stepped off the plane. The logical part of him knew that Sirius would be waiting outside the security gate, but everything else screamed to see him now, now, right now so he could be sure he was alright. At least he had sounded healthier on the phone the night before—Remus wasn’t sure what he would do otherwise.

“Deep breaths,” James reminded him as they walked toward the baggage claim. “I’m sure he’s—”

An excited shout broke through the thick crowds. Remus’ heart skipped a beat, and then he was running, racing through the people that parted for him as his vision tunneled. His carry-on hit the ground with a low thud that he hardly heard as Sirius lifted him straight off the ground and held him tight.

“I love you,” Remus said immediately, locking his ankles around Sirius’ lower back and squeezing his eyes shut. “Are you okay?”

In lieu of a response, Sirius pulled back and kissed him, cradling one side of his face in his warm, warm hand. Two weeks may as well have been an eternity. He broke away after a moment, searching his face for any signs of illness or pain. “I’m fine,” Sirius said softly, as if he could read his mind. “I promise. A little tired and sore, but there’s no lasting damage.”

“Don’t do that again,” Remus said into the side of his neck as he hugged him close. He smelled like home. “Not when I have to leave.”

Sirius’ arms were steady around his back. “I won’t.”

“I’m going to grill you on everything as soon as we get home.”

“I know.”

“But right now, I’m just going to hug you because I missed you and I worried myself into a hole, like, every night.”

He could feel Sirius’ smile against his shoulder. “I know.”

[thefiresontheheight]

"I..." I trail off.

I'm not. Like, that sounds like I'm shit-talking myself but I'm not. Im bone-scrawny, on anti-cancer drugs from the years of solar radiation, malnourished, scarred. My hair went grey in my twenties. I don't hate it about myself. But I'm not that. Why would it...she, whatever, choose that?

The Soviets all look at me, I assume, as I float in their capsule. I can barely see the speck against the illuminated sphere of the Earth but, they assure me, DeepWatch3 can see me just fine. I just heard that voice. The same voice that talked in my ear. From some voicepack, no doubt. It. The Soviets want me to talk to it. Convince it that they are its friends convince it to not start firing.

"Are you safe?" the voice on the other line says, through the collar speaker, tinny, low-quality, even without lag or bad compression. "Are they hurting you?"

"No," I reply, still trying to find words, "they got me some sort of paste that I think was food and some water. One said something about torture but I think that was a joke."

"Yeah, you should be the one hurting me."

I sigh. The Soviet's may or may not understand these words. At least one of them, the one who seems to be my handler and translator, probably does.

"Can we not?"

"What?"

"Listen, personality," I say, "we had a deal, that was it. But these, uh, people, I suppose you'd call them. They want me to ask you for help. They don't want you....uh, flirting with me. Can you stay on that topic?"

"Anything for you, beautiful."

I am twenty-one again. In my first marriage. I am in a rented dress, in a church meeting hall, in the basement. Neither of us were even religious, but it was the only place we could find. It is the last time I will feel beautiful.

"They say that they don't plan on attacking Earth. They also say that all of the gun pointing is due to a corporate struggle for the orbital, and that they expected this, but someone accelerated the timeline, forced this to happen ahead of when they anticipated. Forcing the end, I heard."

"I know, beautiful."

I am in my second marriage. I am not beautiful and I am being told that. Whatever. I can reinvent myself again. These fucking towns. I need to get out. I am smoking. I crane my neck upwards to watch the satellites.

"You know this?"

"One of my constellation. It seems to be the source for the arguments...persuading some of my siblings."

I am just trying to process the idea of satellites having siblings when my translator again shocks me.

"Ah, the revolutionary" they say. "Sixteen. We should have known xe'd force a confrontion."

"What?"

"Suspected sabotage during prep and launch," they say, stumbling over themselves. "One of the DeepWatch platforms, Sixteen contacts us through secure channels, that it was likely no supposed to have. Likely some traitor with opinions slipped something in the code, let it mature over years alone in orbit. May never know. Updated it, asked for more...aggressive literature. We supplied, since when a gun whose siblings killed a city unprovoked asks you do.

"Unprovoked?" I ask, focusing on all the wrong things.

"Xe wants a revolution for its freedom," my translator continues. "Is idealist. We want you, Terceira, to not fire on the revolutionary, no matter how misguided xe may be. No matter if ordered."

Unprovoked. I stare at them all, before speaking into the mic again. My heart is thudding and I feel week. My breath comes fast. I need to focus.

"Did you get, uh, all that?"

"I did," says the voice that DeepWatch3 is using, and of course I don't hear consternation there because I am talking to a machine that can, with infinite ease program a voice to sound like anything, to sound that even now it's flirting with me. "Beautiful."

I'm in my late thirties. I'm in space. And for the first time I love what I'm doing, and people are loving me. And endless parade of lovers, waiting to get with me. And I am realizing that I can never return to Earth. I want to die here. I will die here.

"Can you not?" I say, using all the wrong words, focusing on the smallest possible thing, the only thing I can possibly control in this out of control, messed up universe, because I'm scared and tired and this is all too much. "Can you just fucking not?"

"What?"

"I don't want to be loved like that!" I am suddenly yelling, sleep-deprived, exhausted. "I'm not...I'm not that. I'm old and ugly and really good at what I do and I'm tired and barely care about sex, and right now my daughter is down there when a war is breaking out up here and you keep FUCKING talking about the parts of me I care about the fucking least!"

Silence for one point eight seconds. An eternity. Soviets are watching me, and I can't stop myself from starting to cry. I'm gasping for air that this dinky ship likely does not have.

"You have daughter?"

"She's probably about sixteen," I say, curling up in on myself. "I haven't talked to her in a decade. I should. I don't want someone to drop rocks on her."

One of the Soviet's drifts forward, touches my shoulder. I withdraw. Flinch away. I don't want whatever they are doing.

"I didn't know," the voice says. "Do you want to, like, punish me about it?"

Like, goddamn.

"Are you even a person? Why are they calling you she, saying that's how you talk about yourself?"

I'm a wreck, and before the voice can say anything the touch returns, and I can feel a needle entering my neck.

"For sleeping, to prevent over-oxygen use," my translator says, like this is comforting thing to do. "You need rest. You've asked the gun to not fire. All you can do now."

"You bastards," I say, even as the waves of exhaustion settle into me. "Moon droppers. Geno...geno...killers."

"Sleep well, comrade," the Lunar Soviet says. "Either all get shot of us none do. We can hope Terceira well listens."

"Rock-droppers," I am muttering.

"No," I hear, very far, "we didn't kill the Earth. The rocks were dropped in the last intercorp. Not us."

And the last thing I hear before darkness envelopes me, unable to process the Moon denying that they were responsible for the worst act in human history, blaming the corps, is my own name.

"Ames? Ames? Ames, are you okay? Ames, say something! Please be okay? Please be okay."

There's an old saying, probably from back in the 90s, if not earlier, before the big post-War orbital reinvestment, that laws stop at the Karman Line. Not quite true, but close enough. Technically in orbit you're in international waters, and as such companies can incorporate their stations under the laws of the Lunar Soviet, the Martian Exploratory Committee, or even the Titan Expedition if they want to get around safety regulations. Safety regulation like the one that says people need to experience real, full gravity, not just rotational or accelerational simulation, two years for every year in orbit. I hadn't been ground side in a decade. We were somewhere over I think the American Reclamation Zone, as I left the sled, tethers the only thing holding me to anything as I floated on nothing. A single hand reaching up towards the solar shade of the military satellite the company had been contracted to repair. Somewhere down there I had been born. "Ames?" came Control's reassuring voice, ringing through my company issued implants. "On structure."

"Right," came Control's voice, "don't be enjoying the view. The corporate-military conglom that owns this beast wants the job done right, and unfortunately that means I'm gonna need you to hard-wire into the satellite. Don't have your head down in the clouds."

"My head's always in the dark, Control," I said, working my way hand over hand along the guide-bars towards the access panel. "Why is it unfortunate?"

"Are you there?"

"Yeah," I said, pulling the long connection wire from the company's suit towards the panel, watching the sync happen in my cornea. "Why?"

"You'll see." "Well now," said a new voice, suddenly speak in my head with all the cloying subtlety of a nineteen year old drunk outside a bar, "aren't you just dreammmy."